1 00:00:07,320 --> 00:00:09,629 (FESTIVE HIP-HOP SONG PLAYING) 2 00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:17,074 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today 3 00:00:39,760 --> 00:00:40,829 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 4 00:00:47,120 --> 00:00:48,348 (YAWNING) 5 00:00:51,960 --> 00:00:52,995 MAN: Are you kidding me? 6 00:00:57,520 --> 00:00:59,272 EZRA: Oh, Josh! Sorry I'm late. 7 00:00:59,520 --> 00:01:00,794 That's all right. 8 00:01:00,960 --> 00:01:02,632 Office holiday breakfast. 9 00:01:02,920 --> 00:01:04,496 You guys have parties at 10:30 in the morning? 10 00:01:04,520 --> 00:01:05,748 EZRA: Less liability. 11 00:01:05,920 --> 00:01:07,376 Apparently, people don't get drunk before noon. 12 00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:09,595 - Mmm. - It's boring as shit. 13 00:01:09,720 --> 00:01:11,631 But the partners want us there, so... 14 00:01:11,760 --> 00:01:12,954 Sure. 15 00:01:12,960 --> 00:01:14,837 Anyways, after a year of negotiation, 16 00:01:14,960 --> 00:01:16,109 your divorce is finalised. 17 00:01:16,560 --> 00:01:18,312 These are the terms we agreed to. 18 00:01:18,560 --> 00:01:19,959 The alimony, 19 00:01:20,200 --> 00:01:21,952 the house. Sorry. 20 00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:23,956 Don't worry about it. It's only money. 21 00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:25,638 It is only 22 00:01:26,600 --> 00:01:28,158 all of the money. 23 00:01:28,920 --> 00:01:30,911 But it's the season for giving, right? 24 00:01:30,960 --> 00:01:32,518 I know how you feel. 25 00:01:32,720 --> 00:01:34,711 Oh, yeah? I didn't know you were divorced. 26 00:01:34,920 --> 00:01:36,592 Oh, God, no. That'd be crushing. 27 00:01:36,840 --> 00:01:37,955 - Hmm. - But I get it. 28 00:01:38,160 --> 00:01:39,957 On one level, it must seem like, uh, 29 00:01:40,080 --> 00:01:41,991 "I'm signing away a huge chunk of my life 30 00:01:42,120 --> 00:01:43,792 "that I'm never getting back." 31 00:01:43,920 --> 00:01:44,955 JOSH: Mmm-hmm. 32 00:01:45,960 --> 00:01:47,552 That's it? No other level? 33 00:01:47,960 --> 00:01:49,916 - No, that's it. Uh, initials. - Oh. 34 00:01:51,000 --> 00:01:52,956 Hey. There are good things ahead for you, okay? 35 00:01:53,160 --> 00:01:54,513 - Yeah. Oh. - Come here. 36 00:01:54,840 --> 00:01:56,751 - Thank you. Thanks, buddy. - Merry Christmas. 37 00:01:56,960 --> 00:01:58,951 - Hey, what's this? - My final bill's in there. 38 00:01:59,120 --> 00:02:00,951 - Is it? - Oh, also my holiday card. 39 00:02:01,160 --> 00:02:02,752 The wife had me and the kids dress up 40 00:02:02,840 --> 00:02:04,717 like members of One Direction. Pretty fun. 41 00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:08,951 Mmm. Dynamite. 42 00:02:11,160 --> 00:02:13,310 (INDISTINCT ANNOUNCEMENT ON PA) 43 00:02:23,960 --> 00:02:27,953 Yes, Mum, it is all done. I am divorced. 44 00:02:29,960 --> 00:02:31,518 Well, you should tell Dad 45 00:02:31,600 --> 00:02:33,989 that she is not coming over for Christmas. 46 00:02:35,320 --> 00:02:37,959 Why? Because we're divorced, Mum! 47 00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:40,070 Well... Oh, Mum, don't worry about that. 48 00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:41,354 I'm still gonna be fun. 49 00:02:41,800 --> 00:02:44,598 I'm still gonna be fun Uncle Josh, you know? 50 00:02:45,160 --> 00:02:47,151 (STAMMERS) Well, without doing that. 51 00:02:47,280 --> 00:02:49,794 No, you can leave the Santa suit in the attic. 52 00:02:50,840 --> 00:02:52,193 Why? Because I'm an adult 53 00:02:52,400 --> 00:02:54,550 and dressing up as Santa Claus would be embarrassing. 54 00:02:55,960 --> 00:02:59,191 Hi. Unless, you know, you're doing it for charity. 55 00:02:59,760 --> 00:03:01,318 Then it's... Then it's, um... 56 00:03:01,400 --> 00:03:02,549 Sorry. 57 00:03:02,640 --> 00:03:04,119 Tell Dad that I love... Oh! 58 00:03:04,200 --> 00:03:05,599 That's lucky. 59 00:03:05,720 --> 00:03:07,756 Just put me down for five bucks, okay? 60 00:03:07,960 --> 00:03:08,960 Hanging up, Mum. 61 00:03:09,080 --> 00:03:10,991 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 62 00:03:26,960 --> 00:03:28,359 Hey, Carla, good morning. 63 00:03:28,520 --> 00:03:30,256 You see something over there? What do you got? 64 00:03:30,280 --> 00:03:31,315 I think that Starbucks 65 00:03:31,400 --> 00:03:32,936 - attracts a bad element, Josh. - Oh, yeah. 66 00:03:32,960 --> 00:03:34,518 Listen. Give me the green light... 67 00:03:34,600 --> 00:03:35,776 - Mmm-hmm. - ...and I'll shut it down. 68 00:03:35,800 --> 00:03:37,836 Oh, I love that initiative. It's awesome. 69 00:03:37,960 --> 00:03:39,712 Could you sign me in real quick, please? 70 00:03:39,920 --> 00:03:41,496 I wish I could, but they got us sending you 71 00:03:41,520 --> 00:03:43,078 through these machines now. 72 00:03:43,280 --> 00:03:45,748 Gonna replace my ass, matter of time. 73 00:03:45,840 --> 00:03:46,955 That's never gonna happen. 74 00:03:46,960 --> 00:03:48,616 These machines don't have your smile, Carla. 75 00:03:48,640 --> 00:03:50,312 - Make that money! - (MACHINE BEEPS) 76 00:03:51,560 --> 00:03:52,754 (ELEVATOR DINGS) 77 00:03:53,800 --> 00:03:55,518 Josh, we have a situation. 78 00:03:55,720 --> 00:03:57,950 Mary! How do you always just appear? 79 00:03:57,960 --> 00:03:59,160 You're like a human pop-up ad. 80 00:03:59,280 --> 00:04:01,919 Did you read my latest memo on appropriate work dress? 81 00:04:01,960 --> 00:04:03,712 Uh, almost done. Don't ruin the end. 82 00:04:03,960 --> 00:04:06,080 Well, some people didn't. And those people are Meghan. 83 00:04:06,720 --> 00:04:08,597 (SIGHING) Nobody listens to H.R. 84 00:04:08,760 --> 00:04:09,954 Hey, Meghan? 85 00:04:10,160 --> 00:04:11,957 I thought that I have been clear about 86 00:04:12,160 --> 00:04:15,152 the number of buttons that can be unbuttoned on a shirt. 87 00:04:15,360 --> 00:04:17,954 - You were serious about that? - It's winter. Can we 88 00:04:18,080 --> 00:04:20,355 put Dancer and Prancer back in their stable? 89 00:04:20,600 --> 00:04:22,079 Are you body-shaming her right now? 90 00:04:22,280 --> 00:04:24,077 Some people here 91 00:04:24,520 --> 00:04:26,272 might find your outfit 92 00:04:26,360 --> 00:04:27,634 offensive. 93 00:04:27,760 --> 00:04:29,955 Well, some people might find your outfit offensive. 94 00:04:29,960 --> 00:04:31,359 And really confusing. 95 00:04:31,520 --> 00:04:32,600 Oh, I thought it was clear. 96 00:04:32,720 --> 00:04:35,154 This is a multi-denominational holiday sweater. 97 00:04:35,360 --> 00:04:36,793 It has Christmas, 98 00:04:36,960 --> 00:04:38,916 Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, 99 00:04:39,160 --> 00:04:40,718 the Buddhist day of enlightenment, 100 00:04:40,800 --> 00:04:43,519 and Boxing Day on it. Everyone's included! 101 00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:45,119 JEREMY: Is everyone included? 102 00:04:45,200 --> 00:04:47,760 What about, um, what about something for the Satanists? 103 00:04:47,960 --> 00:04:50,952 Jeremy, come on. I... I admire the stand that you're taking, 104 00:04:51,080 --> 00:04:52,718 but let's schedule the protest rally 105 00:04:52,800 --> 00:04:53,936 for after the workday, shall we? 106 00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:55,536 (STAMMERS) And, Mary, let's let it slide. 107 00:04:55,560 --> 00:04:56,834 Thank you. 108 00:04:56,960 --> 00:04:58,188 Good morning, everybody. 109 00:04:58,960 --> 00:05:01,076 (WHISPERS) You can't silence us all. 110 00:05:01,800 --> 00:05:03,950 I know why you took a medical leave. 111 00:05:04,960 --> 00:05:06,136 NATE: It's hard for me to bring her out in public 112 00:05:06,160 --> 00:05:07,275 because she's so beautiful. 113 00:05:07,360 --> 00:05:08,588 Hey, guys. 114 00:05:08,800 --> 00:05:11,951 People put models on this crazy pedestal, but 115 00:05:11,960 --> 00:05:14,349 I think that's why, you know, Becca fell for me, 116 00:05:14,520 --> 00:05:16,954 because I just treat her like a normal person. 117 00:05:17,080 --> 00:05:19,160 TIM: Good for you, man. Hey, so, um, are you gonna be 118 00:05:19,280 --> 00:05:21,794 inviting your fake girlfriend to the holiday party later? 119 00:05:21,960 --> 00:05:23,096 I mean, I just want to make sure you have time 120 00:05:23,120 --> 00:05:24,348 - to inflate her. - (LAUGHS) 121 00:05:24,520 --> 00:05:25,589 Okay, Becca's real. 122 00:05:25,720 --> 00:05:27,790 And we're not gonna mix business with pleasure. 123 00:05:27,920 --> 00:05:29,512 Sounds like he didn't invite her, dude. 124 00:05:29,600 --> 00:05:30,794 Oh, my God, did you not... 125 00:05:30,960 --> 00:05:33,349 Oh, no! I mean, I hope she's not imaginary pissed. 126 00:05:33,600 --> 00:05:35,056 You won't get any more imaginary blow jobs. 127 00:05:35,080 --> 00:05:36,274 - Right? - (LAUGHING) 128 00:05:36,400 --> 00:05:37,628 Tim. Drew. 129 00:05:37,960 --> 00:05:39,376 Hey, it's a couple days before Christmas. 130 00:05:39,400 --> 00:05:41,400 Let's just try to keep it positive till then, okay? 131 00:05:41,720 --> 00:05:43,096 - We're totally positive. - No, we're all about... 132 00:05:43,120 --> 00:05:44,951 Totally positive that he is full of shit. 133 00:05:44,960 --> 00:05:46,154 - (DREW LAUGHS) - Hey... 134 00:05:46,840 --> 00:05:48,398 You bring it on yourself, Nate. 135 00:05:48,640 --> 00:05:49,776 You know, I do have a girlfriend. 136 00:05:49,800 --> 00:05:50,835 I know. 137 00:05:50,960 --> 00:05:52,951 She's a human woman, and we've done it. 138 00:05:52,960 --> 00:05:54,536 Maybe just don't talk about her so much at work. 139 00:05:54,560 --> 00:05:55,936 It's just gonna make those guys jealous. 140 00:05:55,960 --> 00:05:57,440 You know, not only are you their boss, 141 00:05:57,520 --> 00:05:58,953 but you also have a hot girlfriend. 142 00:05:58,960 --> 00:05:59,995 - (CHUCKLES) - You know? 143 00:06:00,800 --> 00:06:04,156 - It's too much. I hate you. - (CHUCKLES) Yeah. 144 00:06:04,280 --> 00:06:05,952 - JOSH: Have a good day. - You, too! 145 00:06:06,360 --> 00:06:07,936 Can you believe corporate raised the price 146 00:06:07,960 --> 00:06:09,188 in the vending machine again? 147 00:06:09,320 --> 00:06:10,548 $2 for ginger ale? 148 00:06:10,960 --> 00:06:12,951 They're trying to crush us like ants! 149 00:06:13,400 --> 00:06:16,198 No, there's a lot of bad energy in this office. 150 00:06:16,960 --> 00:06:17,995 (GRUNTS) 151 00:06:24,600 --> 00:06:25,749 (DOOR JARRING) 152 00:06:29,720 --> 00:06:31,597 (ROCK MUSIC BLASTING OVER HEADPHONES) 153 00:06:31,720 --> 00:06:32,948 (KEYBOARD CLACKING) 154 00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:35,638 (KNOCKING ON DOOR) 155 00:06:38,840 --> 00:06:39,955 (BEEPS) 156 00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:41,952 Yo, Josh, what the fuck? 157 00:06:41,960 --> 00:06:43,359 What the fuck, Tracey? 158 00:06:43,520 --> 00:06:45,954 You changed the security code without telling me? 159 00:06:45,960 --> 00:06:47,176 Yeah, I'm working on sensitive shit, 160 00:06:47,200 --> 00:06:48,599 and I don't want prying eyes. 161 00:06:48,800 --> 00:06:50,597 I'm prying eyes? I'm your supervisor. 162 00:06:50,960 --> 00:06:53,349 Chief technical officer, lead systems engineer. 163 00:06:53,600 --> 00:06:54,953 Yeah, well, I'm the only one who knows 164 00:06:54,960 --> 00:06:56,791 how to hack the security panel, so 165 00:06:56,960 --> 00:06:58,791 suck my dick. 166 00:06:58,920 --> 00:06:59,955 JOSH: Nice. Okay. 167 00:06:59,960 --> 00:07:00,960 What are you working on? 168 00:07:01,080 --> 00:07:02,957 Oh, it's too complicated to explain. 169 00:07:03,120 --> 00:07:05,634 What is that, subroutine for duplex compression? 170 00:07:05,960 --> 00:07:07,951 Don't tell me that's what I think it is. 171 00:07:08,120 --> 00:07:09,599 This is the future of Zenotek. 172 00:07:09,720 --> 00:07:11,240 Hey, we should pitch this to Data City! 173 00:07:11,400 --> 00:07:12,753 (STAMMERING) That's a theory. 174 00:07:12,840 --> 00:07:14,956 You want to peg the company to a theory? 175 00:07:15,280 --> 00:07:17,271 Man, you used to get excited by big ideas. 176 00:07:17,520 --> 00:07:19,954 Now you just bunt, and ask for the same thing over and over. 177 00:07:19,960 --> 00:07:21,109 I swing for the fences. 178 00:07:21,200 --> 00:07:23,589 And I'm going to change the fucking game. 179 00:07:23,800 --> 00:07:25,960 Okay. I need the specs for the Data City pitch, please. 180 00:07:26,360 --> 00:07:28,078 Already done. Here. 181 00:07:28,320 --> 00:07:29,753 Great. That was fast. 182 00:07:30,800 --> 00:07:32,153 - Thank you. - You're welcome. 183 00:07:32,360 --> 00:07:33,952 - Hey, are you okay? - Yeah. 184 00:07:33,960 --> 00:07:34,960 Really? Because you seem 185 00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:36,616 a little off today. You seem a little weird. 186 00:07:36,640 --> 00:07:37,789 - Well... - Oh, my gosh! 187 00:07:37,920 --> 00:07:39,956 Today is the day, right? Hey! 188 00:07:40,200 --> 00:07:41,918 Congratulations, you're free! 189 00:07:41,960 --> 00:07:44,076 You gonna get a back tattoo and some skinny jeans? 190 00:07:44,280 --> 00:07:45,920 Funds are a little tight, but... (INHALES) 191 00:07:45,960 --> 00:07:46,960 It feels good to be free. 192 00:07:47,080 --> 00:07:48,274 Yeah. 193 00:07:48,360 --> 00:07:49,952 All right. Thank you for this. 194 00:07:50,920 --> 00:07:52,319 - TRACEY: Hey, J. - Yeah? 195 00:07:53,400 --> 00:07:55,391 I got you for Secret Santa again. 196 00:07:55,960 --> 00:07:57,951 I know. I got you, too. 197 00:08:00,560 --> 00:08:01,595 (DOOR CLOSES) 198 00:08:03,920 --> 00:08:07,196 Oh, sweetie, that is so great! Mummy's so proud of you. 199 00:08:07,640 --> 00:08:08,959 Hey, could you put your daddy back 200 00:08:08,960 --> 00:08:10,000 on the phone for a second? 201 00:08:10,120 --> 00:08:12,634 - Hey, Allison. Is he ready? - You fucking motherfucker! 202 00:08:12,840 --> 00:08:14,558 If I hear you let your stripper girlfriend 203 00:08:14,760 --> 00:08:16,751 put my children on her motorcycle one more time 204 00:08:16,960 --> 00:08:18,632 I will Gone Girl you so hard! 205 00:08:18,840 --> 00:08:21,000 - (SOFTLY) You can go in. - I'll just go in. Thank you. 206 00:08:21,600 --> 00:08:23,136 CLAY: No, no, no. Don't try and sell this 207 00:08:23,160 --> 00:08:24,309 as some win-win situation. 208 00:08:24,560 --> 00:08:25,840 This is not my first rodeo, okay? 209 00:08:26,520 --> 00:08:27,919 - Is that Data City? - No. 210 00:08:27,960 --> 00:08:28,995 (WHISPERS) No. 211 00:08:29,120 --> 00:08:30,758 Rick, do you want this deal or not? 212 00:08:30,840 --> 00:08:31,955 Because if you want him, 213 00:08:31,960 --> 00:08:32,949 you're gonna have to pay for him. 214 00:08:32,960 --> 00:08:33,995 It's almost the playoffs, 215 00:08:34,120 --> 00:08:35,838 not the second week of the regular season. 216 00:08:36,720 --> 00:08:38,836 Perfect. It's the right choice. 217 00:08:39,720 --> 00:08:42,712 I am running a train on this league. 218 00:08:42,960 --> 00:08:43,949 I... I don't think that that means 219 00:08:43,960 --> 00:08:44,960 what you want it to mean. 220 00:08:45,520 --> 00:08:47,480 I'd love to talk to you about the Data City pitch, 221 00:08:47,520 --> 00:08:48,640 for later on this afternoon? 222 00:08:48,720 --> 00:08:50,600 Yes, but first I want your opinion on something. 223 00:08:50,640 --> 00:08:51,834 We've got kind of a crisis. 224 00:08:52,960 --> 00:08:54,951 This is what corporate wants us to give 225 00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:56,752 everyone for Christmas. Just this. 226 00:08:56,960 --> 00:08:58,518 Yeah, can't hand that out. 227 00:08:58,800 --> 00:09:00,518 And I'm already feeling kind of a 228 00:09:01,120 --> 00:09:02,599 "fuck you" vibe down there, 229 00:09:02,720 --> 00:09:03,960 definitely not Christmas spirit. 230 00:09:04,080 --> 00:09:05,513 I can't argue with you there. 231 00:09:05,720 --> 00:09:07,358 Good. I want to Secret Santa the shit 232 00:09:07,520 --> 00:09:08,953 out of the staff meeting. Come on. 233 00:09:09,160 --> 00:09:10,513 (SIGHS) 234 00:09:10,600 --> 00:09:12,158 Can we work and walk? 235 00:09:12,960 --> 00:09:14,951 You're not cold without a big coat on? 236 00:09:14,960 --> 00:09:16,712 No, I gain fifteen pounds every winter 237 00:09:16,800 --> 00:09:17,949 so I don't have to wear one. 238 00:09:18,080 --> 00:09:20,514 - Huh. That's a healthy choice. - Not really. 239 00:09:20,720 --> 00:09:23,280 Hey, are you bringing anybody to this wine and cheese thing? 240 00:09:23,520 --> 00:09:24,919 Uh, no, I'll be there solo. 241 00:09:24,960 --> 00:09:27,713 Good. Smart. So you can focus on Tracey, right? 242 00:09:28,400 --> 00:09:30,914 Tracey and I work together. What are you talking about? 243 00:09:30,960 --> 00:09:33,190 I'm just saying. I can't be your work wife forever. 244 00:09:33,400 --> 00:09:34,936 Hey, how fast do you think you'd have to go 245 00:09:34,960 --> 00:09:36,552 - to make that jump? - Uh... 246 00:09:36,760 --> 00:09:38,056 - Boy, I don't know. In a car? - Yeah. 247 00:09:38,080 --> 00:09:39,957 I just never thought about that. 248 00:09:40,000 --> 00:09:41,991 You know, your mind's like a drunk baby. 249 00:09:42,120 --> 00:09:43,240 What do you think, 80 or 90? 250 00:09:43,320 --> 00:09:45,754 What would Vin do? Vin Diesel? Or Tyrese? 251 00:09:45,960 --> 00:09:48,758 They'd never make it, right? It's suicide. Unless 252 00:09:48,960 --> 00:09:50,576 you were going 120, you put a bunch of free weights 253 00:09:50,600 --> 00:09:52,080 in the trunk to even it out, you know, 254 00:09:52,120 --> 00:09:53,951 then you just catch air. Boosh! 255 00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:56,110 "Fuck you, gravity, and you, Dom Toretto!" 256 00:09:56,200 --> 00:09:57,315 Then... (WHOOSHES) 257 00:09:57,960 --> 00:09:59,880 ...just a smooth landing, like a baby's buttocks. 258 00:09:59,960 --> 00:10:01,951 I'd love to pick this up indoors. 259 00:10:02,320 --> 00:10:03,816 You know, I've only ever seen the first film, 260 00:10:03,840 --> 00:10:04,955 so I don't know if I'm much help to you 261 00:10:04,960 --> 00:10:06,109 in this conversation. So... 262 00:10:06,320 --> 00:10:08,136 Are you serious? Why am I just hearing about this? 263 00:10:08,160 --> 00:10:09,536 We've worked together for eight years. 264 00:10:09,560 --> 00:10:11,994 They only get more fast! More furious! 265 00:10:12,400 --> 00:10:13,958 I love this place. 266 00:10:14,120 --> 00:10:17,192 So, what would people want? Would they like... Ooh! 267 00:10:17,560 --> 00:10:19,915 Is this UV? Is UV good or bad? I forget. 268 00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:22,111 - (GROANS) - Not good for the eyes, no. 269 00:10:22,200 --> 00:10:23,376 CLAY: Does it do anything here? 270 00:10:23,400 --> 00:10:24,515 Probably. Is this for 271 00:10:24,600 --> 00:10:25,736 - teeth whitening? - WOMAN: No. 272 00:10:25,760 --> 00:10:27,751 Okay, what about this, right? 273 00:10:27,960 --> 00:10:29,136 Everybody gets stressed at work... 274 00:10:29,160 --> 00:10:30,376 - (VIBRATING) - ...around this time of year. 275 00:10:30,400 --> 00:10:31,515 JOSH: Huh. 276 00:10:31,600 --> 00:10:34,068 That could get you a sexual harassment suit. 277 00:10:34,160 --> 00:10:35,195 What? Why? 278 00:10:35,320 --> 00:10:36,958 Not everyone likes dildos for Christmas. 279 00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:39,195 This isn't a dildo. It's a body massager. 280 00:10:39,400 --> 00:10:41,709 Yeah, well, it's a circumcised purple penis. 281 00:10:41,800 --> 00:10:43,074 It could be considered sexual. 282 00:10:43,200 --> 00:10:44,315 Why is it like that? 283 00:10:44,400 --> 00:10:46,391 Everything here could be considered sexual. 284 00:10:46,640 --> 00:10:48,392 Hey, what about this for Alan from legal? 285 00:10:48,800 --> 00:10:50,296 - (TRIMMER WHIRRING) - Well, Alan's bald. 286 00:10:50,320 --> 00:10:51,896 (SIGHS) It's so hard to shop for the bald. 287 00:10:51,920 --> 00:10:53,160 Who are they? What do they want? 288 00:10:53,760 --> 00:10:54,829 Hair. 289 00:10:54,960 --> 00:10:57,056 You know, maybe we should just go get some gift cards. 290 00:10:57,080 --> 00:10:58,559 That's exactly what we should do! 291 00:10:58,760 --> 00:10:59,954 "Here's a gift card because I don't know you 292 00:10:59,960 --> 00:11:02,110 "and I don't care and I won't get in trouble for it." 293 00:11:02,320 --> 00:11:03,576 You know, when my dad ran this company, 294 00:11:03,600 --> 00:11:05,318 Christmas was actually a big deal. 295 00:11:05,560 --> 00:11:06,880 At the Christmas party every year, 296 00:11:06,920 --> 00:11:07,955 he would dress up like Santa Claus, 297 00:11:07,960 --> 00:11:09,757 get everybody fucked up. 298 00:11:09,960 --> 00:11:10,949 Yeah, you could back then. 299 00:11:10,960 --> 00:11:12,791 He would throw gifts into the crowd. 300 00:11:12,960 --> 00:11:15,952 Derek Peterson shattered his femur for a rotisserie set. 301 00:11:15,960 --> 00:11:18,080 And that was before Boston Chicken was, like, a thing. 302 00:11:18,400 --> 00:11:20,400 - I've heard those stories. - He took care of them. 303 00:11:20,760 --> 00:11:23,399 That's what I want for my people. You know? 304 00:11:23,760 --> 00:11:25,193 And I want that drone. 305 00:11:26,400 --> 00:11:27,992 Clay, let me ask you a question. 306 00:11:28,200 --> 00:11:32,637 You think that my management style is... Is too careful? 307 00:11:32,960 --> 00:11:35,110 Uh, do you think that I bunt 308 00:11:35,200 --> 00:11:36,952 instead of swing for the fences? 309 00:11:37,120 --> 00:11:39,111 I want to be completely honest with you, Josh. 310 00:11:39,320 --> 00:11:41,601 I wasn't paying attention, so I didn't hear your question. 311 00:11:41,760 --> 00:11:43,440 - I can repeat it. - I'd rather you didn't. 312 00:11:43,640 --> 00:11:45,915 Because I can tell by your face that it's serious. 313 00:11:45,960 --> 00:11:47,632 And I want to tell you seriously, 314 00:11:47,840 --> 00:11:49,956 it's almost Christmas. Relax. 315 00:11:50,120 --> 00:11:51,758 - You want some of this? - I think so. 316 00:11:51,960 --> 00:11:53,296 - I don't think you do. - You sure? 317 00:11:53,320 --> 00:11:54,520 I think you better get moving. 318 00:11:54,560 --> 00:11:55,754 CLAY: Uh-oh. Here he goes! 319 00:11:55,840 --> 00:11:57,193 - (NERF GUN WHIRS) - CLAY: Huh? 320 00:11:57,320 --> 00:11:59,390 - Eat that! Eat it, Clay! - (EXCLAIMS) 321 00:11:59,560 --> 00:12:01,240 - (CLATTERING) - Careful, careful, careful! 322 00:12:01,800 --> 00:12:03,074 (DECORATIONS CLINKING) 323 00:12:04,120 --> 00:12:05,917 - (EXHALES) - We're good. 324 00:12:06,320 --> 00:12:07,514 Oh, no! 325 00:12:08,080 --> 00:12:09,593 - (OBJECTS CLATTERING) - (CROWD GASP) 326 00:12:10,720 --> 00:12:11,835 Oh... 327 00:12:13,120 --> 00:12:14,712 (CLATTERING CONTINUES) 328 00:12:23,640 --> 00:12:25,710 - (CROWD MURMURING) - Hey! 329 00:12:46,720 --> 00:12:50,076 Ooh, somebody is getting fired. 330 00:12:52,920 --> 00:12:55,150 Hey, uh, Allison? Right? 331 00:12:55,600 --> 00:12:56,919 - Yeah. - I'm Fred. 332 00:12:56,960 --> 00:12:57,960 I just joined accounting. 333 00:12:58,520 --> 00:12:59,589 Hi. 334 00:12:59,720 --> 00:13:02,518 (SIGHS) Um, so, I saw that photo on your desk. 335 00:13:02,600 --> 00:13:03,715 Are those your kids? 336 00:13:03,800 --> 00:13:05,916 - Yep. They're two and four. - Oh. 337 00:13:05,960 --> 00:13:07,712 I'm a single mum. Ugh. 338 00:13:08,080 --> 00:13:09,149 That's great. 339 00:13:09,280 --> 00:13:11,589 - I was raised by a single mum. - Really? 340 00:13:11,800 --> 00:13:13,240 Yeah. If you ask me, Tupac was right. 341 00:13:13,360 --> 00:13:14,696 (MIMICS TUPAC) "Ain't a woman alive 342 00:13:14,720 --> 00:13:16,358 "that could take my mama's place." 343 00:13:16,760 --> 00:13:18,120 - (BOTH CHUCKLE) - (ELEVATOR DINGS) 344 00:13:18,360 --> 00:13:19,793 ALLISON: I don't know that song. 345 00:13:20,360 --> 00:13:21,554 Oh, shit. 346 00:13:22,160 --> 00:13:23,354 Allison. 347 00:13:23,720 --> 00:13:26,280 - Where's Clay? - He's unreachable. 348 00:13:26,600 --> 00:13:28,989 He's participating in a conference... Summit... 349 00:13:29,400 --> 00:13:30,958 Elon Musk, uh, 350 00:13:31,280 --> 00:13:33,840 tech participation... Relay. 351 00:13:34,000 --> 00:13:35,399 Let's try that again. 352 00:13:35,640 --> 00:13:36,959 Allison, where's Clay? 353 00:13:37,080 --> 00:13:38,957 - He's Christmas shopping. - Okay. 354 00:13:39,360 --> 00:13:40,839 I would like all department heads 355 00:13:40,960 --> 00:13:42,837 in the conference room in five minutes. 356 00:13:43,600 --> 00:13:44,736 Tell him to stop looking at me. 357 00:13:44,760 --> 00:13:45,795 ALLISON: Look away. 358 00:13:48,080 --> 00:13:49,957 Ooh. No, he's cute. Oh. 359 00:13:50,320 --> 00:13:51,389 Actually... 360 00:13:51,560 --> 00:13:53,710 It's like the calling never stops. 361 00:13:53,920 --> 00:13:55,512 MEGHAN: I know. It's so annoying. 362 00:13:55,600 --> 00:13:57,591 (KELSEY AND MEGHAN CONTINUE INDISTINCTLY) 363 00:13:59,920 --> 00:14:02,992 CAROL: Ugh! You have got to be shitting me. 364 00:14:04,640 --> 00:14:06,119 So the bartender says, 365 00:14:06,200 --> 00:14:07,936 "We don't see many gorillas." And the gorilla says, 366 00:14:07,960 --> 00:14:10,394 "Well, at $12 for a martini I can see why not." 367 00:14:10,640 --> 00:14:11,959 You know a lot of gorilla jokes. 368 00:14:11,960 --> 00:14:14,110 - Yeah. - Excuse me. 369 00:14:14,400 --> 00:14:16,994 What's going on? Something's off. 370 00:14:17,400 --> 00:14:18,958 Yeah, everyone's working. 371 00:14:19,800 --> 00:14:21,153 CLAY: Oh, shitster. 372 00:14:21,600 --> 00:14:22,953 It's my sister. 373 00:14:23,560 --> 00:14:25,949 There she is! My sister from another mister! 374 00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:27,319 I'm kidding, our mother 375 00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:28,696 didn't start having affairs until the mid-90s. 376 00:14:28,720 --> 00:14:29,755 What are you doing here? 377 00:14:29,960 --> 00:14:32,758 Well, we were just going over your fourth quarter earnings. 378 00:14:32,960 --> 00:14:34,496 And I wondered if I was missing something. 379 00:14:34,520 --> 00:14:35,748 Probably. 380 00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:37,911 Clay, why don't you have a seat? 381 00:14:38,640 --> 00:14:42,189 Uh, no. It's my branch, so I prefer to stand. 382 00:14:42,840 --> 00:14:43,909 Fine. 383 00:14:44,000 --> 00:14:46,958 Allison, would you please remove Clay's chair? 384 00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:49,560 - Uh, sure. - Thank you. 385 00:14:49,960 --> 00:14:50,960 Sorry. 386 00:14:51,760 --> 00:14:52,954 Thank you, Allison. 387 00:14:55,200 --> 00:14:56,952 So we were all a little bit disappointed 388 00:14:57,080 --> 00:14:59,196 not to hit 7% growth in this last quarter. 389 00:14:59,400 --> 00:15:02,392 But 6.5% is right on industry standard for the fall. 390 00:15:02,960 --> 00:15:04,951 Mmm-mmm. You need to hit 12%. 391 00:15:05,400 --> 00:15:07,311 - Twelve? - Twelve is the new seven. 392 00:15:07,560 --> 00:15:08,629 - What? - Since when? 393 00:15:08,760 --> 00:15:10,079 - (ALL MURMUR) - Since Dad died 394 00:15:10,160 --> 00:15:11,832 and the board made me CEO. 395 00:15:11,960 --> 00:15:13,951 Oh. You mean interim CEO. 396 00:15:14,160 --> 00:15:18,153 Shut up. Listen, essentially, this branch is failing. 397 00:15:18,400 --> 00:15:19,958 6.5% is not failing. 398 00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:21,115 Yes, it is. 399 00:15:21,200 --> 00:15:22,376 We're doing better than Orlando. 400 00:15:22,400 --> 00:15:24,959 I mean, half those jack-offs had mono last year, right? 401 00:15:24,960 --> 00:15:25,960 (LAUGHING) 402 00:15:26,080 --> 00:15:28,958 Well, I closed the Orlando branch. This morning. 403 00:15:30,120 --> 00:15:31,189 What? 404 00:15:31,840 --> 00:15:32,909 (FARTING) 405 00:15:34,120 --> 00:15:35,314 I am sorry. 406 00:15:35,760 --> 00:15:38,752 Damn it. I hate tension, and I... 407 00:15:39,200 --> 00:15:40,315 I farted. 408 00:15:40,560 --> 00:15:41,595 - Wow. - You are not 409 00:15:41,720 --> 00:15:42,948 selling enough servers. 410 00:15:43,560 --> 00:15:46,950 You have no new ideas and there is no new revenue. 411 00:15:47,400 --> 00:15:49,197 - I have something new. - Really? 412 00:15:49,400 --> 00:15:50,958 - No, you don't. - Yeah, I do. 413 00:15:51,160 --> 00:15:52,896 - (WHISPERS) It's not ready. - (WHISPERS) It is ready. 414 00:15:52,920 --> 00:15:54,512 - It's not ready. - It is ready. 415 00:15:54,720 --> 00:15:55,948 - CAROL: Uh, we can hear you. - Yeah, sorry. 416 00:15:55,960 --> 00:15:57,951 We can. It's a completely silent room. 417 00:15:58,160 --> 00:15:59,354 - Go ahead. - (STAMMERS) 418 00:16:00,720 --> 00:16:02,790 What's the most annoying thing about the Internet? 419 00:16:03,280 --> 00:16:05,919 - Pictures of people's kids. - Linkedln invites. 420 00:16:05,960 --> 00:16:08,110 My girlfriend's always on it. I have a girlfriend. 421 00:16:08,320 --> 00:16:10,959 The lack of Asian male representation in porn. 422 00:16:11,000 --> 00:16:13,116 Grumpy Cat. It's like... It's Garfield. 423 00:16:13,320 --> 00:16:15,390 Oh, you know that orange with the human dick? 424 00:16:15,640 --> 00:16:16,959 Oh, my God, what is this, Shark Tank? 425 00:16:16,960 --> 00:16:18,440 Can you just get to the point, please? 426 00:16:18,920 --> 00:16:21,388 - It's getting on the Internet. - Mmm. 427 00:16:22,960 --> 00:16:24,776 TRACEY: So we can already connect to the Internet 428 00:16:24,800 --> 00:16:25,949 through standard electrical lines 429 00:16:25,960 --> 00:16:27,837 and obviously we can do it through the air. 430 00:16:28,200 --> 00:16:30,998 But what if we could combine those technologies? 431 00:16:31,360 --> 00:16:33,078 - (CHIMING) - With Zenotek AnywAir, 432 00:16:33,320 --> 00:16:34,536 you can pull the Internet wirelessly 433 00:16:34,560 --> 00:16:36,835 from anything that's connected to a power grid. 434 00:16:37,560 --> 00:16:40,313 Your appliances. Street lights. A light bulb. 435 00:16:40,760 --> 00:16:43,957 You're never out of range, and you're never low on signal. 436 00:16:44,160 --> 00:16:45,798 It's AnywAir. 437 00:16:45,920 --> 00:16:46,955 (PERSON CLAPPING) 438 00:16:46,960 --> 00:16:48,359 CLAY: We're in the future. 439 00:16:48,960 --> 00:16:50,598 And you can deliver that? 440 00:16:50,800 --> 00:16:53,189 I'm still figuring out some coding issues, but yes. 441 00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:55,956 Well, how long have you been figuring? 442 00:16:56,120 --> 00:16:57,951 - Four years. - Four years? 443 00:16:58,320 --> 00:17:00,390 All right, well, that doesn't sound very real to me. 444 00:17:00,640 --> 00:17:02,710 Well, if it was real, I wouldn't have to invent it. 445 00:17:02,800 --> 00:17:04,119 - (CHUCKLES) - I'm sorry, 446 00:17:04,200 --> 00:17:06,111 - what's your name again? - Tracey Hughes. 447 00:17:06,200 --> 00:17:07,315 And if you forget again, 448 00:17:07,400 --> 00:17:09,200 it's on all of the recent patents for Zenotek. 449 00:17:10,000 --> 00:17:11,069 Mmm-hmm. 450 00:17:11,160 --> 00:17:12,388 You know what? I'm gonna sit. 451 00:17:12,640 --> 00:17:15,313 Not because you told me to, but because I 452 00:17:15,960 --> 00:17:17,109 prefer it. 453 00:17:18,120 --> 00:17:19,189 So... 454 00:17:20,720 --> 00:17:21,755 CAROL: Mmm-hmm. 455 00:17:22,960 --> 00:17:25,758 - Is there anything else? - MARY: Actually, yes. 456 00:17:25,960 --> 00:17:29,999 This is a sample cheeseboard for our holiday mixer tonight. 457 00:17:30,400 --> 00:17:32,040 I know it's a little heavy on the Gouda... 458 00:17:32,120 --> 00:17:33,633 That was the MVP last year. 459 00:17:33,840 --> 00:17:35,956 Uh, I do have a feisty Cheddar on the bench. 460 00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:37,200 I think that pairs better with 461 00:17:37,280 --> 00:17:39,953 the mulled non-alcoholic wine myself, but what do I know? 462 00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:41,558 Wait, wait. I'm sorry. Excuse me. 463 00:17:41,640 --> 00:17:43,176 You're having a Christmas party tonight? 464 00:17:43,200 --> 00:17:44,553 Oh, it's not a Christmas party! 465 00:17:44,640 --> 00:17:47,200 It's a non-denominational holiday mixer. 466 00:17:47,560 --> 00:17:48,629 More inclusive. 467 00:17:48,920 --> 00:17:51,150 Well, whatever the fuck it is, it's not happening. 468 00:17:51,360 --> 00:17:53,360 Yeah, it's definitely... Well, it's not "happenin"' 469 00:17:53,600 --> 00:17:55,320 because it happens at 5:30 in the afternoon. 470 00:17:55,360 --> 00:17:56,509 It's just a small thing 471 00:17:56,600 --> 00:17:58,136 that's really important to all of us, but 472 00:17:58,160 --> 00:18:00,515 - trust me, it's gonna suck. - (CHUCKLES) 473 00:18:00,600 --> 00:18:03,068 No, it's not gonna suck, because it's cancelled. 474 00:18:03,320 --> 00:18:04,514 What? 475 00:18:04,600 --> 00:18:06,511 All branch Christmas parties are cancelled. 476 00:18:06,600 --> 00:18:07,635 It's a waste of money! 477 00:18:07,840 --> 00:18:09,751 Come on. What are you guys not getting? 478 00:18:09,960 --> 00:18:11,837 All right, it's cancelled. 479 00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:13,115 (MOUTHS) It's not. 480 00:18:13,400 --> 00:18:15,391 Clay! I mean it. 481 00:18:15,640 --> 00:18:17,312 Me, too, Carol. Guys, 482 00:18:17,640 --> 00:18:18,816 the holiday mixer is cancelled. 483 00:18:18,840 --> 00:18:19,909 - (MOUTHING) - CAROL: Yes. 484 00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:22,391 Hey! It's cancelled, Clay! 485 00:18:22,640 --> 00:18:23,959 The thing is not happening at all. (MOUTHING) 486 00:18:23,960 --> 00:18:25,096 CAROL: I'm not messing with you. 487 00:18:25,120 --> 00:18:26,633 Hey! Stop doing that! 488 00:18:26,840 --> 00:18:28,990 Hey, idiot, I'm looking right at you. 489 00:18:29,560 --> 00:18:31,949 I saw that! You whispered to the farty cheese lady. 490 00:18:31,960 --> 00:18:32,995 Well... 491 00:18:33,400 --> 00:18:35,550 Don't make me pull rank, Clay. 492 00:18:35,960 --> 00:18:37,154 It is cancelled. 493 00:18:37,280 --> 00:18:38,759 (SIGHS) Fine! 494 00:18:38,840 --> 00:18:41,115 Then this meeting is cancelled! Huh? 495 00:18:45,960 --> 00:18:47,712 Damn it! (BREATHING HEAVILY) 496 00:18:49,080 --> 00:18:50,798 I was keeping it light in there. 497 00:18:50,920 --> 00:18:51,955 That was light, huh? 498 00:18:52,080 --> 00:18:53,957 You have to give her a break, Josh. She's hated parties 499 00:18:53,960 --> 00:18:55,960 ever since she started not getting invited to them. 500 00:18:56,160 --> 00:18:58,515 Please. That party's the least of your problems. 501 00:19:00,120 --> 00:19:01,189 Is that Dad? 502 00:19:01,400 --> 00:19:03,277 No, Carol, I just have some random guy's 503 00:19:03,360 --> 00:19:04,839 ashes in my office. 504 00:19:04,960 --> 00:19:05,960 Got it online. 505 00:19:06,080 --> 00:19:09,072 Yes. He wanted them here, with me, at his branch. 506 00:19:09,640 --> 00:19:11,710 I thought they were gonna divide him equally. 507 00:19:11,800 --> 00:19:12,936 It's not my fault that he always liked 508 00:19:12,960 --> 00:19:13,949 hanging out with me more. 509 00:19:13,960 --> 00:19:15,951 I don't care. I got this company. 510 00:19:16,200 --> 00:19:17,519 Moving on. 511 00:19:17,800 --> 00:19:19,791 We have a lot of big cuts to make. Okay? 512 00:19:19,920 --> 00:19:22,070 Obviously, bonuses are cancelled. 513 00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:24,956 You know, there's a lot of people that 514 00:19:24,960 --> 00:19:26,393 are relying on those bonuses. 515 00:19:26,640 --> 00:19:28,835 I suppose you're still getting your bonus, though. 516 00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:30,951 Secondly, I'm laying off 40% of your staff. 517 00:19:30,960 --> 00:19:32,393 (EXCLAIMS) Forty? 518 00:19:32,720 --> 00:19:35,951 Forty? We have 200 employees. That's like, 60... 519 00:19:36,560 --> 00:19:38,596 - Some... - That's 80. It's 80. 520 00:19:38,920 --> 00:19:40,592 Eighty. That's, like, 80 employees. 521 00:19:40,720 --> 00:19:41,789 Uh, you got to give us 522 00:19:41,920 --> 00:19:42,955 a little bit of time to turn this around. 523 00:19:42,960 --> 00:19:44,880 Fine, then you have until the end of the quarter. 524 00:19:44,920 --> 00:19:47,718 - That's two days. - Is it? Oh, well. 525 00:19:47,920 --> 00:19:49,069 This is unfair. 526 00:19:49,320 --> 00:19:50,514 You wanna talk unfair? 527 00:19:50,600 --> 00:19:52,636 How about Dad skipping my Harvard graduation 528 00:19:52,760 --> 00:19:53,960 to go with you to the X Games? 529 00:19:54,080 --> 00:19:55,593 And you weren't even competing. 530 00:19:55,720 --> 00:19:57,790 You just sponsored some guy's wakeboard. 531 00:19:57,960 --> 00:20:00,315 He got the bronze. Which is brown gold. 532 00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:01,515 (CAROL SCOFFS) 533 00:20:01,600 --> 00:20:03,776 All right, so I've made a list of my first round of layoffs. 534 00:20:03,800 --> 00:20:04,920 So you might wanna get a pen 535 00:20:04,960 --> 00:20:06,696 - and start writing these down. - No. Let me see that. 536 00:20:06,720 --> 00:20:07,948 - No. No. - Give me that. 537 00:20:08,080 --> 00:20:09,957 - No! - These are my employees! 538 00:20:10,280 --> 00:20:11,936 - (CAROL GRUNTS) - Guys, are we sure about this? 539 00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:13,279 Say you won't make budget cuts. 540 00:20:13,360 --> 00:20:14,395 I swear to God, Clay! 541 00:20:14,560 --> 00:20:15,696 Here comes the loogie express! 542 00:20:15,720 --> 00:20:16,816 - Don't you dare! - Say, "Everybody's 543 00:20:16,840 --> 00:20:18,840 - "gonna get a bonus," or else. - You motherfucker. 544 00:20:18,960 --> 00:20:21,758 Suck that back in. You suck that back in! You mother... 545 00:20:21,960 --> 00:20:23,951 - JOSH: Clay. - (BOTH GRUNTING) 546 00:20:24,400 --> 00:20:25,958 - Oh, my God! - (GRUNTING) 547 00:20:26,080 --> 00:20:27,752 Why do you do this to yourself? 548 00:20:27,840 --> 00:20:29,512 You know I took nine years of Krav Maga. 549 00:20:29,760 --> 00:20:31,637 Carol, you know, he's turning blue. 550 00:20:31,840 --> 00:20:34,115 Yeah. Our family, you got to tap out. 551 00:20:34,560 --> 00:20:36,551 - Tap out. Tap out. - (COUGHING) 552 00:20:37,320 --> 00:20:39,311 - (PANTING) - JOSH: Okay. 553 00:20:40,200 --> 00:20:41,997 - All right. You okay? - (COUGHING) 554 00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:46,072 Dad gave you a free pass your entire life, 555 00:20:46,160 --> 00:20:47,991 and you're not getting one from me. 556 00:20:48,400 --> 00:20:49,976 The only way you're gonna hit your targets this year 557 00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:52,309 is by cutting jobs. 558 00:20:52,400 --> 00:20:54,960 - (PANTING) - Hey, what if we landed 559 00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:56,558 the Data City account? 560 00:20:56,800 --> 00:20:57,835 (SCOFFS) 561 00:20:57,960 --> 00:21:00,315 - Data City? Walter Davis? - That's right. 562 00:21:00,560 --> 00:21:02,630 You do know that he's already met with HP, 563 00:21:02,760 --> 00:21:03,829 Cisco and Oracle. 564 00:21:03,960 --> 00:21:05,518 Yeah, but he hasn't heard our pitch. 565 00:21:05,600 --> 00:21:06,749 - No. - (PANTING) 566 00:21:06,920 --> 00:21:08,956 Josh and I have been drilling into it for weeks. 567 00:21:09,160 --> 00:21:10,957 Yeah. Months. Whole team. 568 00:21:11,080 --> 00:21:12,399 And we have a meeting 569 00:21:12,560 --> 00:21:13,959 - with him this afternoon. - Yeah. 570 00:21:15,280 --> 00:21:16,349 All right. 571 00:21:17,280 --> 00:21:19,271 Well, I'm on a flight to London tonight. 572 00:21:19,520 --> 00:21:22,717 So if by some miracle you guys can close Walter Davis 573 00:21:22,920 --> 00:21:24,956 and his $14 million contract 574 00:21:24,960 --> 00:21:26,951 by the time I land at Heathrow, 575 00:21:27,200 --> 00:21:28,633 the jobs are safe. 576 00:21:28,920 --> 00:21:29,955 Done! 577 00:21:30,080 --> 00:21:32,275 And you'll see, you're gonna look so stupid. 578 00:21:32,800 --> 00:21:34,950 Then we'll finally have something in common. 579 00:21:37,360 --> 00:21:39,590 Goddamn it! She's so mean! 580 00:21:40,200 --> 00:21:42,839 People are saying "cuts." What kind of cuts? 581 00:21:42,960 --> 00:21:44,552 (STAMMERS) Oh, nothing's official. 582 00:21:44,760 --> 00:21:45,896 Guys, I can barely afford my rent. 583 00:21:45,920 --> 00:21:46,989 I'm sleeping in a closet. 584 00:21:47,120 --> 00:21:48,155 JOSH: Don't panic. 585 00:21:48,280 --> 00:21:49,376 You can't replace the new guy, right? 586 00:21:49,400 --> 00:21:50,976 You're probably gonna go with people that are older, 587 00:21:51,000 --> 00:21:52,176 - more expensive? - Don't overreact. 588 00:21:52,200 --> 00:21:55,112 I just bought that used Lexus, Josh. I can't give it back. 589 00:21:55,360 --> 00:21:56,793 I put rims on it, man! 590 00:21:56,960 --> 00:21:59,110 I have six parrots with very expensive medical issues. 591 00:21:59,200 --> 00:22:00,315 You know this. 592 00:22:00,400 --> 00:22:01,958 I'm gonna have to put one down. 593 00:22:01,960 --> 00:22:03,837 - Nobody is losing their jobs! - Yeah. 594 00:22:03,960 --> 00:22:06,554 That is a Josh and Clay Christmas promise. 595 00:22:06,840 --> 00:22:08,910 Your promises are dog shit! 596 00:22:09,960 --> 00:22:12,554 - Boy, they turned quick. - Yeah, they sure did. 597 00:22:15,360 --> 00:22:17,920 Jesus. Incest and rape? 598 00:22:18,280 --> 00:22:19,713 I mean, that is dark. 599 00:22:20,160 --> 00:22:21,957 That could be a different Clay. 600 00:22:22,600 --> 00:22:23,635 And Carol. 601 00:22:23,840 --> 00:22:25,034 We got to land this pitch. 602 00:22:26,400 --> 00:22:28,197 JOSH: Okay, everybody knows what we're doing? 603 00:22:28,400 --> 00:22:30,640 Sure. We're just pitching to save our company. No biggie. 604 00:22:30,840 --> 00:22:32,496 And we're proving that my sister doesn't fuck me. 605 00:22:32,520 --> 00:22:34,192 - If anything, I fuck her! - All right. 606 00:22:34,400 --> 00:22:36,960 Yeah, listen, I get the spirit of that, but... 607 00:22:37,160 --> 00:22:39,151 We at Zenotek put the "client" 608 00:22:39,360 --> 00:22:42,955 in client-server model service distribution. 609 00:22:43,360 --> 00:22:45,157 And this is a leave-behind. 610 00:22:45,800 --> 00:22:47,313 And we have some new innovation 611 00:22:47,400 --> 00:22:50,312 that we can talk to you about later. Later. 612 00:22:50,640 --> 00:22:53,712 You got to... You got to go with us. 613 00:22:54,000 --> 00:22:55,399 Okay. 614 00:22:58,200 --> 00:22:59,952 Thank you for the pitch. 615 00:23:00,320 --> 00:23:03,392 Just give me a beat, and I'll let you know my decision. 616 00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:07,913 Okay. When you say "beat," you're talking about an hour 617 00:23:07,960 --> 00:23:09,279 or a day? A full day? 618 00:23:09,600 --> 00:23:11,591 Certainly before the holidays, I'd imagine, right? 619 00:23:11,960 --> 00:23:15,350 Listen, it's Christmas, so, I'll be honest. 620 00:23:15,960 --> 00:23:18,190 Your servers are good. 621 00:23:18,640 --> 00:23:21,313 Dell's servers are good. 622 00:23:21,920 --> 00:23:23,273 - So... - You're gonna go with us. 623 00:23:24,160 --> 00:23:25,957 - I'm gonna go with Dell. - Fuck! 624 00:23:25,960 --> 00:23:27,188 - Why? - Don't. 625 00:23:27,400 --> 00:23:28,628 I... I know your product. 626 00:23:28,760 --> 00:23:30,955 My problem is with your culture. 627 00:23:31,640 --> 00:23:33,312 Our culture is great. 628 00:23:33,720 --> 00:23:34,948 WALTER: That's not what I hear. 629 00:23:34,960 --> 00:23:37,269 Word is you're closing branches and making layoffs. 630 00:23:37,520 --> 00:23:39,272 - That's not true. - No, that's barely true. 631 00:23:39,520 --> 00:23:40,999 A mixture of fabrication and rumour. 632 00:23:41,200 --> 00:23:43,760 Look, I get it. You got to make money. 633 00:23:43,960 --> 00:23:45,916 And every quarter you got to make more money. 634 00:23:46,000 --> 00:23:47,399 And if you got to fire some people 635 00:23:47,560 --> 00:23:49,551 and cut back on some benefits to make it happen, 636 00:23:49,760 --> 00:23:51,751 that's what business is now, right? 637 00:23:51,960 --> 00:23:53,996 And as long as the board has gotten its bonus 638 00:23:54,120 --> 00:23:56,395 and the stock is ticking up? Come on. 639 00:23:56,600 --> 00:23:57,715 Sir, that's not who we are. 640 00:23:57,800 --> 00:23:59,640 If you came to our offices, you would see that. 641 00:23:59,760 --> 00:24:01,000 You should come meet our people. 642 00:24:01,320 --> 00:24:02,520 Yeah, we're a family business. 643 00:24:02,600 --> 00:24:03,840 TRACEY: Everyone loves everyone. 644 00:24:03,960 --> 00:24:05,313 I mean, Clay and his sister, 645 00:24:05,400 --> 00:24:07,960 they're so close it's almost inappropriate. 646 00:24:08,960 --> 00:24:11,190 We would love the opportunity to prove you wrong. 647 00:24:11,640 --> 00:24:14,200 I'm sure you have wonderful cubicles and great carpeting, 648 00:24:14,400 --> 00:24:16,118 but I've done those tours before. 649 00:24:16,560 --> 00:24:17,959 I'm gonna pass. 650 00:24:17,960 --> 00:24:18,995 Um... 651 00:24:19,160 --> 00:24:20,195 Thank you so much. 652 00:24:20,320 --> 00:24:21,389 Oh, we got that. 653 00:24:21,560 --> 00:24:23,596 Oh, no, they've already put it on my room. 654 00:24:23,720 --> 00:24:24,936 And in addition to the breakfast 655 00:24:24,960 --> 00:24:27,269 my company won't pay for anymore. 656 00:24:27,920 --> 00:24:28,955 Good luck, guys. 657 00:24:30,760 --> 00:24:32,113 Great. That was uplifting. 658 00:24:32,280 --> 00:24:33,315 He's saying we suck. 659 00:24:33,400 --> 00:24:34,958 Our big closer was a thumb drive. 660 00:24:34,960 --> 00:24:35,960 Yeah, but we don't suck. 661 00:24:36,000 --> 00:24:37,336 We just need a way to show him that. 662 00:24:37,360 --> 00:24:38,536 How are we gonna do that? We're gonna 663 00:24:38,560 --> 00:24:40,520 invite him to our cancelled wine and cheese night? 664 00:24:40,560 --> 00:24:42,073 No, we should take him out for real. 665 00:24:42,280 --> 00:24:43,376 I mean, you heard him. His company 666 00:24:43,400 --> 00:24:44,799 won't even buy him breakfast. 667 00:24:44,960 --> 00:24:46,951 He's an old school guy who drinks scotch at lunch. 668 00:24:47,280 --> 00:24:49,510 We should take him out and show him a great time. 669 00:24:49,720 --> 00:24:50,936 So we'll hook him up with Don Draper, 670 00:24:50,960 --> 00:24:52,896 then go out and get a couple of steaks and an STD. 671 00:24:52,920 --> 00:24:54,911 CLAY: No, no, no. You're both right. 672 00:24:54,960 --> 00:24:55,949 We show him a great time 673 00:24:55,960 --> 00:24:57,951 at our office Christmas party tonight. 674 00:24:58,000 --> 00:24:59,319 What? I didn't say that. 675 00:24:59,560 --> 00:25:00,959 - It's not the worst idea. - Right? 676 00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:02,176 Of course it is. We don't even have 677 00:25:02,200 --> 00:25:03,269 an office Christmas party. 678 00:25:03,360 --> 00:25:05,080 Carol said no to all discretionary spending. 679 00:25:05,120 --> 00:25:06,951 She wants to lay off 40%. You want to double that? 680 00:25:06,960 --> 00:25:08,552 My sister doesn't do anything at 40%. 681 00:25:08,760 --> 00:25:09,896 She's just cutting off our legs 682 00:25:09,920 --> 00:25:10,955 so we can't run away when she 683 00:25:10,960 --> 00:25:12,400 wants to fucking curb-stomp our face. 684 00:25:12,560 --> 00:25:14,198 This is the way we close Walter. 685 00:25:14,400 --> 00:25:16,440 We throw the best Christmas party he's ever been to. 686 00:25:16,560 --> 00:25:18,755 He loves it, he loves us, he sees we care about people, 687 00:25:18,840 --> 00:25:19,955 he falls in love with our culture, 688 00:25:19,960 --> 00:25:20,995 he wants to work with us. 689 00:25:21,200 --> 00:25:23,191 This is how we save everybody's job! 690 00:25:23,400 --> 00:25:25,197 I like it, Josh. Say yes. 691 00:25:25,360 --> 00:25:27,396 He's walking away, unless you have a better idea. 692 00:25:27,760 --> 00:25:28,829 (SIGHS) 693 00:25:28,960 --> 00:25:30,000 That's your approval sigh. 694 00:25:30,760 --> 00:25:31,954 Walter? 695 00:25:32,640 --> 00:25:34,358 We have one more pitch for you. 696 00:25:34,520 --> 00:25:35,555 Do you party? 697 00:25:37,960 --> 00:25:39,188 I used to. 698 00:25:51,640 --> 00:25:53,119 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 699 00:26:00,640 --> 00:26:01,959 Okay, so we have to throw 700 00:26:01,960 --> 00:26:03,951 a massive party from scratch in 701 00:26:04,080 --> 00:26:05,195 five hours. 702 00:26:05,320 --> 00:26:07,176 Yeah. And we got an office full of pissed-off employees. 703 00:26:07,200 --> 00:26:09,296 You guys, I got this. I have a black belt in partying. 704 00:26:09,320 --> 00:26:10,896 That's why I got kicked out of boarding school 705 00:26:10,920 --> 00:26:11,955 and two intensive care units. 706 00:26:11,960 --> 00:26:14,838 Listen. Did you see this? "It's F-ing Christmas, B's. 707 00:26:14,960 --> 00:26:16,188 "Let's get mother-F-ing drunk. 708 00:26:16,320 --> 00:26:17,958 - "Attendance mandatory." - Yeah. 709 00:26:18,000 --> 00:26:19,115 Lawsuit! 710 00:26:19,200 --> 00:26:20,680 Mary, it's for the greater good, okay? 711 00:26:20,960 --> 00:26:22,136 Oh, Joel, would you do me a favour? 712 00:26:22,160 --> 00:26:23,376 Would you get Fred up to Clay's office? 713 00:26:23,400 --> 00:26:24,560 - Oh, yeah, sure. - Thank you. 714 00:26:24,600 --> 00:26:25,953 - Wait! - Yup. 715 00:26:25,960 --> 00:26:27,096 I don't know if it's helpful, 716 00:26:27,120 --> 00:26:28,256 but regarding the music tonight, 717 00:26:28,280 --> 00:26:30,240 I happen to have a friend who's a pretty good D.J. 718 00:26:30,760 --> 00:26:31,954 Great. Bring him. 719 00:26:32,200 --> 00:26:33,952 - See, we already got a D.J. - Yep. 720 00:26:34,120 --> 00:26:35,951 Um, so let me get this straight. 721 00:26:35,960 --> 00:26:38,349 Now we're having this great party 722 00:26:38,520 --> 00:26:40,317 and we're getting our bonuses at it. 723 00:26:40,640 --> 00:26:42,995 Yes, Jeremy, because you deserve it! 724 00:26:43,200 --> 00:26:45,191 Maybe you shouldn't have promised them bonuses. 725 00:26:45,320 --> 00:26:46,400 No, first rule of business: 726 00:26:46,560 --> 00:26:48,949 Shoot for the moon and you'll land on the sun. 727 00:26:48,960 --> 00:26:50,712 I'd love to know where you read that. 728 00:26:50,800 --> 00:26:52,320 And let's just focus on closing Walter. 729 00:26:52,400 --> 00:26:53,958 You know, Carol burned this place to the ground. 730 00:26:53,960 --> 00:26:55,996 We are planting the seeds of a new dawn. 731 00:26:57,320 --> 00:26:59,072 Smitty? Clay Vanstone. 732 00:26:59,160 --> 00:27:00,275 No, I'm not dead. That was 733 00:27:00,360 --> 00:27:01,696 just a rumour, although well-founded. 734 00:27:01,720 --> 00:27:03,440 How much alcohol can I legally buy from you? 735 00:27:04,320 --> 00:27:05,639 (TYRES SCREECH) 736 00:27:09,640 --> 00:27:10,755 Move out of my way. 737 00:27:10,840 --> 00:27:13,115 I swear to God, I will drop this on your back. Move! 738 00:27:13,320 --> 00:27:14,719 You know what? 739 00:27:14,800 --> 00:27:16,950 Merry Christmas, you sweet motherfucker. Ah! 740 00:27:17,080 --> 00:27:18,176 - You're coming, yeah, Smitty? - Yes. 741 00:27:18,200 --> 00:27:19,480 - Yes! Okay. You want this? - No. 742 00:27:19,520 --> 00:27:20,589 All right. 743 00:27:25,320 --> 00:27:27,311 I'm keeping this lamb. 744 00:27:29,760 --> 00:27:30,829 We need something else, 745 00:27:30,960 --> 00:27:31,949 something that will make us look cool. 746 00:27:31,960 --> 00:27:33,936 Does anybody know anybody who knows the Kanye West? 747 00:27:33,960 --> 00:27:34,949 TRACEY AND JOSH: No. 748 00:27:34,960 --> 00:27:36,757 But my girlfriend does P.R. for the Bulls. 749 00:27:36,960 --> 00:27:38,256 Okay, does your girlfriend have a friend who knows 750 00:27:38,280 --> 00:27:39,952 the man that makes us call him Yeezy? 751 00:27:40,000 --> 00:27:42,116 TIM: (CHUCKLING) Nate, what's up, man? Did you see? 752 00:27:42,320 --> 00:27:44,834 Significant others are welcome at the party. Look at that. 753 00:27:44,960 --> 00:27:46,176 Looks like we're finally gonna meet Becca. 754 00:27:46,200 --> 00:27:47,349 Yeah! 755 00:27:47,600 --> 00:27:48,635 Um, oh, shoot. 756 00:27:48,760 --> 00:27:51,752 Uh, except she's working late tonight. Modelling. 757 00:27:51,960 --> 00:27:53,313 Is she shooting the cover 758 00:27:53,400 --> 00:27:54,958 - of Full of Shit magazine? - (LAUGHS) 759 00:27:55,320 --> 00:27:57,311 You know what? She's gonna be there. 760 00:27:57,640 --> 00:28:00,108 You guys! Nate's girlfriend's coming! 761 00:28:00,800 --> 00:28:03,394 NATE: Shit! Match, match, match. Match! Come on. 762 00:28:05,960 --> 00:28:09,396 Okay. Um, what are we gonna do with these after the party? 763 00:28:09,760 --> 00:28:10,829 Raffle. 764 00:28:19,920 --> 00:28:21,558 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 765 00:28:23,960 --> 00:28:26,997 For a failing branch, we're surprisingly productive. 766 00:28:27,560 --> 00:28:29,551 Yeah, I just wish Carol could see this. 767 00:28:29,760 --> 00:28:31,955 Uh, no, Clay, that would be very bad. 768 00:28:32,120 --> 00:28:33,314 Yeah, you're right. 769 00:28:33,560 --> 00:28:34,776 All right, go put on your party suits. 770 00:28:34,800 --> 00:28:35,880 - Yeah. - Tonight's gonna be 771 00:28:35,960 --> 00:28:36,960 a great night. 772 00:28:45,840 --> 00:28:47,751 (RAP MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO) 773 00:28:51,960 --> 00:28:53,154 (KNOCKING ON DOOR) 774 00:29:00,520 --> 00:29:01,555 JOSH: Clay, I told you, 775 00:29:01,640 --> 00:29:03,551 I don't need to do any pre-game for... 776 00:29:04,200 --> 00:29:05,952 - Carol. - Pre-game for what? 777 00:29:06,120 --> 00:29:08,759 For the, uh, work session we got tonight. 778 00:29:08,960 --> 00:29:10,712 (STAMMERING) And to complete... 779 00:29:10,800 --> 00:29:12,056 We're closing Walter Davis, you know? 780 00:29:12,080 --> 00:29:13,280 It's going really, really well. 781 00:29:13,600 --> 00:29:15,096 - Hmm. (CLEARS THROAT) - Phase one's complete. 782 00:29:15,120 --> 00:29:16,348 Why don't you come on in? 783 00:29:16,520 --> 00:29:17,880 I thought you were going to London. 784 00:29:17,960 --> 00:29:20,190 I was on my way to the airport, 785 00:29:20,400 --> 00:29:22,118 but I thought I would stop by and 786 00:29:22,640 --> 00:29:24,631 have a tour of your bachelor pad. 787 00:29:26,960 --> 00:29:28,393 Well, that didn't take long. 788 00:29:28,960 --> 00:29:30,552 How did you know about my divorce? 789 00:29:30,760 --> 00:29:33,320 Oh, you changed your emergency contact to "self." 790 00:29:33,640 --> 00:29:34,755 And nobody single by choice 791 00:29:34,840 --> 00:29:36,096 would live this close to the freeway. 792 00:29:36,120 --> 00:29:37,951 Is that robe why your wife left you? 793 00:29:37,960 --> 00:29:39,109 What do you want, Carol? 794 00:29:39,200 --> 00:29:40,952 I want you to work for me in New York. 795 00:29:40,960 --> 00:29:42,951 You basically run this branch without the credit. 796 00:29:43,080 --> 00:29:45,389 I will double your salary, you'll get job security, 797 00:29:45,840 --> 00:29:47,717 and a boss who doesn't end every memo 798 00:29:47,800 --> 00:29:48,949 with a quote from Aerosmith. 799 00:29:49,520 --> 00:29:52,956 I could never do that to Clay, and I'm very happy where I am. 800 00:29:53,320 --> 00:29:54,355 - Really? - Yeah. 801 00:29:54,520 --> 00:29:55,953 I don't see happy. 802 00:29:56,960 --> 00:30:01,750 I see crappy. And a rug that makes me sad. 803 00:30:02,800 --> 00:30:04,153 Anyway, um... 804 00:30:04,600 --> 00:30:05,715 I don't know, 805 00:30:05,800 --> 00:30:07,631 just think about it. When the branch closes, 806 00:30:07,960 --> 00:30:10,952 and Clay has a trust fund to fall back on, 807 00:30:11,320 --> 00:30:12,958 what are you gonna have? 808 00:30:13,560 --> 00:30:14,959 Not much. 809 00:30:15,320 --> 00:30:16,958 - Merry Christmas! - (DOOR CLOSES) 810 00:30:20,760 --> 00:30:22,637 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 811 00:30:26,560 --> 00:30:27,959 - Thank you. - You got it. 812 00:30:31,760 --> 00:30:33,830 Hey, man. Good to see you. Hi. 813 00:30:34,280 --> 00:30:35,315 Eight years 814 00:30:35,400 --> 00:30:36,816 - I've been working here. - Turn around. 815 00:30:36,840 --> 00:30:38,831 What are you hoping to find anyway, Carla? 816 00:30:38,960 --> 00:30:40,120 What's your dream contraband? 817 00:30:40,320 --> 00:30:41,958 I just like making you my bitch. 818 00:30:41,960 --> 00:30:43,837 - You can go. - (SCOFFS) Thank you. 819 00:30:44,280 --> 00:30:45,952 - CARLA: Josh. - Wow! You look like 820 00:30:45,960 --> 00:30:47,951 Cinderella, if she joined the TSA. 821 00:30:47,960 --> 00:30:48,960 (CHUCKLES) 822 00:30:49,080 --> 00:30:51,913 Very, very nice. Okay, take a look at this, please. 823 00:30:51,960 --> 00:30:53,075 Ooh, who's Mr December? 824 00:30:53,160 --> 00:30:54,513 This is Walter Davis, he's a VIP. 825 00:30:54,720 --> 00:30:56,176 I want you to do me a favour and let me know the second 826 00:30:56,200 --> 00:30:57,360 he comes in. Can you do that? 827 00:30:57,600 --> 00:30:59,136 You will hear the sound of heavy flirting. 828 00:30:59,160 --> 00:31:00,991 Or just a text. That'd be great. 829 00:31:01,200 --> 00:31:02,553 And are you gonna join us later? 830 00:31:02,640 --> 00:31:04,096 No, I doubt it. I have to protect the front lines, 831 00:31:04,120 --> 00:31:05,633 make sure no crazy stuff happens. 832 00:31:05,760 --> 00:31:07,955 But if it does... (EXCLAIMS) I'm ready. 833 00:31:08,000 --> 00:31:09,752 And you went with the yellow. Smart. 834 00:31:09,840 --> 00:31:10,909 Right? (CHUCKLES) 835 00:31:11,200 --> 00:31:12,553 JOSH: Hey. 836 00:31:14,200 --> 00:31:16,953 - How's everyone doing tonight? - Great. 837 00:31:17,160 --> 00:31:18,798 - It's my birthday. - Ah. 838 00:31:19,080 --> 00:31:21,355 Really committing. That's nice. 839 00:31:21,960 --> 00:31:23,951 (MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO) 840 00:31:24,600 --> 00:31:26,272 Hey, look at that! 841 00:31:26,760 --> 00:31:28,079 - Hi. - Hey, there, Susan. 842 00:31:28,640 --> 00:31:30,200 - Nice reindeer, right? - How you doin'? 843 00:31:30,360 --> 00:31:31,616 Throw that in coat check for me please. 844 00:31:31,640 --> 00:31:33,278 Thank you. You look great. Oh. 845 00:31:33,720 --> 00:31:34,948 - Hey, Josh. - Hey, Dean. 846 00:31:35,080 --> 00:31:36,800 You... You thought you'd bring the kid, huh? 847 00:31:37,080 --> 00:31:39,275 Yeah. We couldn't get anyone to watch him. 848 00:31:39,520 --> 00:31:40,953 But don't worry, he has an iPad. 849 00:31:41,160 --> 00:31:43,336 We could axe murder each other and he wouldn't even notice. 850 00:31:43,360 --> 00:31:45,590 He'll just sit there with that dumb look on his face. 851 00:31:45,960 --> 00:31:47,393 Yeah, that's the one. 852 00:31:47,920 --> 00:31:50,912 Okay. Well, can you stick him in my office for me? 853 00:31:50,960 --> 00:31:53,554 - If you're cool with that. - Sure. Well, not cool, but... 854 00:31:53,760 --> 00:31:55,716 - Have a good time. - Thank you. 855 00:31:56,600 --> 00:31:58,113 All right. Let's drop him quick, 856 00:31:58,200 --> 00:32:00,589 because these edibles are gonna kick in any second. 857 00:32:00,960 --> 00:32:03,315 - (MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING) - (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 858 00:32:17,640 --> 00:32:19,198 - Hey, Mr Parker. - Hey, Rodney. 859 00:32:19,400 --> 00:32:20,958 - Want a Zeno Punch? - No. 860 00:32:21,000 --> 00:32:22,831 - Foam finger? - Uh-uh, neither. 861 00:32:22,960 --> 00:32:25,633 And, you know, we can skip this, too. 862 00:32:25,840 --> 00:32:27,558 - Good spirit, though. Yep. - Okay. 863 00:32:32,600 --> 00:32:35,353 Could I have a beer, please? Pretty great, huh, Jeremy? 864 00:32:35,640 --> 00:32:38,313 Yeah, it's so weird, I feel like I'm still at the office. 865 00:32:38,560 --> 00:32:40,949 Yeah. Oh. Thank you. 866 00:32:43,920 --> 00:32:45,069 (MARY EXCLAIMING) 867 00:32:50,920 --> 00:32:51,989 (BLOWER WHIRRING) 868 00:32:56,960 --> 00:32:58,552 (CLAY SUCKING TEETH) 869 00:32:58,960 --> 00:33:00,552 (CLAY GURGLING) 870 00:33:02,320 --> 00:33:03,355 (SPITS) 871 00:33:07,800 --> 00:33:08,949 (EXHALES DEEPLY) 872 00:33:08,960 --> 00:33:09,960 God, 873 00:33:10,360 --> 00:33:12,510 I know I haven't asked You for much in this life. 874 00:33:12,840 --> 00:33:14,637 Granted, I was born rich. 875 00:33:14,960 --> 00:33:17,997 And white. And male. And straight. 876 00:33:18,400 --> 00:33:21,631 Except for that one time. But that's Las Vegas. 877 00:33:21,760 --> 00:33:22,829 (INHALES DEEPLY) 878 00:33:22,960 --> 00:33:25,758 But tonight I need You to bless this party. 879 00:33:26,320 --> 00:33:27,992 This party has to rock. 880 00:33:28,400 --> 00:33:29,958 So we can get Walter's contract, 881 00:33:29,960 --> 00:33:31,837 so that everyone can keep their jobs, 882 00:33:31,960 --> 00:33:34,190 especially Allison. I mean, she is losing it! 883 00:33:34,640 --> 00:33:36,756 And she has all my personal information. 884 00:33:36,960 --> 00:33:39,076 And so that we can prove my sister wrong. 885 00:33:39,160 --> 00:33:41,196 Show her that I am a good boss. 886 00:33:44,960 --> 00:33:46,951 And will You say hi to our dad? 887 00:33:47,560 --> 00:33:49,551 And tell him we really miss him. 888 00:33:50,000 --> 00:33:51,115 (SNIFFLES) 889 00:33:52,560 --> 00:33:54,551 And that I'm rocking his Santa suit. 890 00:33:54,640 --> 00:33:56,440 (SNIFFLES) Oh, and tell Prince and David Bowie 891 00:33:56,520 --> 00:33:57,953 how much they meant to everybody. 892 00:33:57,960 --> 00:33:59,951 I mean, Labyrinth, Purple Rain... 893 00:34:00,000 --> 00:34:01,115 They know. 894 00:34:01,600 --> 00:34:02,953 (BREATHES DEEPLY) 895 00:34:03,400 --> 00:34:04,594 All right, 896 00:34:04,920 --> 00:34:06,717 let's light this fucking candle. 897 00:34:07,560 --> 00:34:09,357 (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) 898 00:34:24,400 --> 00:34:27,836 Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas, Zenotek! 899 00:34:28,000 --> 00:34:29,558 It's me, Santa Claus! 900 00:34:29,960 --> 00:34:32,952 I'ma comin' to town for an epic night. Yay! 901 00:34:33,800 --> 00:34:34,949 Santa! 902 00:34:35,000 --> 00:34:36,069 (SCATTERED CHEERS) 903 00:34:36,360 --> 00:34:37,952 That's okay, we'll get there. 904 00:34:41,960 --> 00:34:43,712 Watch this, Greg. 905 00:34:44,320 --> 00:34:45,548 (GRUNTING) 906 00:34:46,520 --> 00:34:48,590 Dean! Clear. I'm coming around. 907 00:34:50,520 --> 00:34:51,635 Oh, shit. 908 00:34:53,960 --> 00:34:55,040 - (CROWD GASPS) - (LAUGHING) 909 00:34:55,160 --> 00:34:56,354 Oh, God. 910 00:34:56,640 --> 00:34:57,959 CLAY: It's okay! 911 00:34:58,840 --> 00:35:00,956 It's okay! That was part of it. 912 00:35:01,200 --> 00:35:03,270 JOSH: Okay, Santa, what an entrance! 913 00:35:03,960 --> 00:35:06,520 Oh! Right down the chimney, folks! 914 00:35:06,720 --> 00:35:09,393 Merry Christmas, bitches! Santa can't be hurt. 915 00:35:09,840 --> 00:35:10,976 You doing okay? You all right? 916 00:35:11,000 --> 00:35:12,536 - That really did hurt, yeah... - Are you sure? 917 00:35:12,560 --> 00:35:14,200 But you know what, I had this for padding. 918 00:35:14,560 --> 00:35:16,357 Holy shit. What the fuck is that? 919 00:35:16,520 --> 00:35:17,936 Tell me that's not for something illegal. 920 00:35:17,960 --> 00:35:19,296 No, no, no. Don't worry, this is all mine. 921 00:35:19,320 --> 00:35:20,958 I rented one of those Money Tornados. 922 00:35:21,000 --> 00:35:22,399 So for the bonuses later, 923 00:35:22,560 --> 00:35:24,096 I'm gonna make it rain like a hurricane. 924 00:35:24,120 --> 00:35:25,616 Are you sure you're not getting carried away? 925 00:35:25,640 --> 00:35:27,296 This seems like a lot of money you're spending. 926 00:35:27,320 --> 00:35:28,958 Josh, this is Christmas, okay? 927 00:35:29,120 --> 00:35:31,953 And if anybody knows how to work within a budget, it's me. 928 00:35:31,960 --> 00:35:33,393 All right? And speaking of. 929 00:35:34,080 --> 00:35:35,513 There you go. Hi. 930 00:35:35,960 --> 00:35:36,949 - Cool. - Little Jesus. 931 00:35:36,960 --> 00:35:39,952 - Did you rent a live baby? - Yeah, for the nativity scene. 932 00:35:40,200 --> 00:35:41,952 What? It's cheaper than you think, okay? 933 00:35:42,120 --> 00:35:43,314 Is it? 934 00:35:43,400 --> 00:35:45,391 - (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS) - (MAN SHOUTS) 935 00:35:47,560 --> 00:35:50,393 Oh, shit! DJ Calvis in the house tonight! 936 00:35:50,840 --> 00:35:51,955 Oh, God, no. 937 00:35:51,960 --> 00:35:53,313 (JOEL CONTINUES YELLING) 938 00:35:53,640 --> 00:35:55,995 Add my Snapchat: DJ Calvis. 939 00:35:56,400 --> 00:35:59,631 Joel's friend looks just like Joel. 940 00:36:00,960 --> 00:36:03,952 Ooh! Looks like some babies getting made tonight! 941 00:36:04,360 --> 00:36:06,590 I'm not looking to get pregnant tonight. 942 00:36:06,960 --> 00:36:07,960 Excuse me. Sorry. Sorry. 943 00:36:08,080 --> 00:36:10,150 Joel, that's a red card for you. 944 00:36:10,280 --> 00:36:12,191 Um, babies are not getting made tonight, 945 00:36:12,320 --> 00:36:13,958 not here on company property. 946 00:36:13,960 --> 00:36:15,360 If you're going to have intercourse, 947 00:36:15,560 --> 00:36:17,198 please go beyond the flood lamps 948 00:36:17,320 --> 00:36:18,719 at the perimeter of the plaza 949 00:36:18,920 --> 00:36:20,956 and into the Rite Aid parking lot. 950 00:36:21,280 --> 00:36:23,794 That's right. 'Cause we fucking tonight! 951 00:36:23,960 --> 00:36:25,552 - Joel. Language. - (INDISTINCT) 952 00:36:25,840 --> 00:36:27,990 This is still an office, and 953 00:36:28,200 --> 00:36:31,749 even though it's dark outside, the rules don't turn off. 954 00:36:32,000 --> 00:36:34,753 The rules may not turn off, but your inhibitions can! 955 00:36:34,960 --> 00:36:36,496 I'm talking about take your pee-pees out 956 00:36:36,520 --> 00:36:37,953 and put 'em in some booties! 957 00:36:37,960 --> 00:36:38,995 (SCATS) 958 00:36:39,600 --> 00:36:42,068 And remember that tonight the decisions you make 959 00:36:42,280 --> 00:36:45,158 will have consequences that will haunt you 960 00:36:45,280 --> 00:36:47,077 for the rest of your professional lives. 961 00:36:47,720 --> 00:36:48,914 And, um... 962 00:36:49,120 --> 00:36:50,758 And so have fun. 963 00:36:50,960 --> 00:36:52,951 Yeah, Mary, way to psyche everybody up! 964 00:36:53,800 --> 00:36:55,392 Main takeaway: If you're gonna fuck, 965 00:36:55,560 --> 00:36:56,709 do it in the parking lot. 966 00:36:56,800 --> 00:36:58,791 - Turn it up! - (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) 967 00:37:00,120 --> 00:37:01,917 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 968 00:37:06,640 --> 00:37:07,709 (CHUCKLES) 969 00:37:08,960 --> 00:37:11,633 - (CHUCKLES) Hey. - Hey! Someone cleans up nice. 970 00:37:11,960 --> 00:37:12,949 Oh... 971 00:37:12,960 --> 00:37:15,952 Yeah, I... I'm wearing the same clothes, from earlier. 972 00:37:16,360 --> 00:37:18,590 Oh, yeah. I was just making a party joke. 973 00:37:18,800 --> 00:37:20,552 I didn't want to go all the way home 974 00:37:20,640 --> 00:37:23,074 and then come back, so I just sat in my car and worked. 975 00:37:23,520 --> 00:37:26,512 Oh, also I was waiting for my phone to charge. 976 00:37:26,960 --> 00:37:29,952 Oh. So you're all charged up! (CHUCKLES) 977 00:37:29,960 --> 00:37:31,791 (LAUGHS HUMOURLESSLY) 978 00:37:32,200 --> 00:37:33,315 What? 979 00:37:33,600 --> 00:37:35,591 I said you're all charged up. 980 00:37:35,960 --> 00:37:37,279 Yeah, my phone. 981 00:37:37,840 --> 00:37:39,319 Hey, the music is really loud. 982 00:37:39,400 --> 00:37:40,958 Do you want to go somewhere and talk? 983 00:37:41,320 --> 00:37:43,311 - Uh, yeah. - Okay. 984 00:37:45,640 --> 00:37:46,959 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 985 00:37:52,600 --> 00:37:54,079 This is Zenotek. 986 00:37:54,280 --> 00:37:55,918 Oh, shit! 987 00:37:55,960 --> 00:37:57,837 That's Jimmy Butler right there! 988 00:37:57,960 --> 00:37:59,313 Who's Jimmy Butler? 989 00:37:59,560 --> 00:38:02,313 Two-time All-Star. Best player on my fantasy team. 990 00:38:02,760 --> 00:38:03,954 Fuck you, Butler! (GASPS) 991 00:38:04,000 --> 00:38:05,991 I don't know why I said that. Oh, fuck. 992 00:38:06,160 --> 00:38:07,360 These are great. You know what? 993 00:38:07,400 --> 00:38:08,799 Why don't you give me your number 994 00:38:08,920 --> 00:38:10,000 and I'll text these to you. 995 00:38:10,320 --> 00:38:11,753 Excuse me. Hey. Hi. 996 00:38:11,960 --> 00:38:13,951 - Jimmy, hey, this is Josh. - Hey. How you doing? 997 00:38:13,960 --> 00:38:15,632 So you the big man around here, huh? 998 00:38:15,840 --> 00:38:17,910 I'm not that big, no. I'm feeling small right now. 999 00:38:17,960 --> 00:38:19,552 Look at this. Good for you. 1000 00:38:19,960 --> 00:38:21,109 Here's the big man! 1001 00:38:21,320 --> 00:38:22,594 Jimmy Buckets. Clay Vanstone. 1002 00:38:22,720 --> 00:38:24,520 Thanks for coming to our Christmas party, man. 1003 00:38:24,640 --> 00:38:25,959 Of course. I've been trying to expand 1004 00:38:25,960 --> 00:38:27,154 the Jimmy Butler empire 1005 00:38:27,280 --> 00:38:28,395 into the tech space. 1006 00:38:28,560 --> 00:38:29,936 I'm thinking Jimmy Butler dating app. 1007 00:38:29,960 --> 00:38:31,951 - Maybe Butlerbook? - I like it. 1008 00:38:32,000 --> 00:38:33,956 - Jimmyface? - These are all good ideas. 1009 00:38:34,080 --> 00:38:36,176 Do you want to see the first processor that we ever made? 1010 00:38:36,200 --> 00:38:38,320 It's as big as a mini-fridge and it used to set fires. 1011 00:38:38,800 --> 00:38:39,976 It's upstairs with the good tequila. 1012 00:38:40,000 --> 00:38:41,069 - Of course. - Casamigos. 1013 00:38:41,160 --> 00:38:42,480 (WHISPERS) I'll save some for you. 1014 00:38:42,560 --> 00:38:45,791 Geek yourself out! He's really into technology. 1015 00:38:45,960 --> 00:38:47,712 Will you remind me, how do you know 1016 00:38:47,800 --> 00:38:48,915 Jimmy Butler again? 1017 00:38:48,960 --> 00:38:51,120 Remember, I told you my friend does P.R. for the Bulls? 1018 00:38:51,280 --> 00:38:52,793 - Yes! Yeah. - Right. 1019 00:38:53,600 --> 00:38:55,591 I thought that bringing a famous basketball player 1020 00:38:55,720 --> 00:38:56,789 would help with Walter. 1021 00:38:56,960 --> 00:38:58,400 - Ah. - You're cool with that, right? 1022 00:38:58,960 --> 00:38:59,960 Why wouldn't I be cool? 1023 00:39:00,080 --> 00:39:01,176 It's the greatest idea in the world. 1024 00:39:01,200 --> 00:39:02,315 Of course I'm cool. 1025 00:39:02,400 --> 00:39:03,833 - Very cool. Please. - Okay. 1026 00:39:03,960 --> 00:39:05,951 Yeah. Mr Cool. I graduated valedictorian 1027 00:39:05,960 --> 00:39:07,791 from Cool University! 1028 00:39:07,960 --> 00:39:09,951 Good old C.U. 1029 00:39:10,760 --> 00:39:11,795 Mmm-hmm. 1030 00:39:12,640 --> 00:39:13,709 Okay. 1031 00:39:13,920 --> 00:39:15,069 "C.U." later! 1032 00:39:16,080 --> 00:39:17,957 Oh, Josh. 1033 00:39:19,760 --> 00:39:20,954 (TYRES SQUEALING IN DISTANCE) 1034 00:39:23,280 --> 00:39:24,315 (CHIMES) 1035 00:39:25,520 --> 00:39:26,589 (TYRES SCREECHING) 1036 00:39:37,080 --> 00:39:38,149 (CAR DOOR CLOSES) 1037 00:39:38,840 --> 00:39:39,909 Savannah? 1038 00:39:40,000 --> 00:39:41,991 I think you mean Becca, right? 1039 00:39:42,120 --> 00:39:43,838 (CHUCKLES) Uh... 1040 00:39:43,960 --> 00:39:46,110 I'm gonna be honest, I've never done this before. 1041 00:39:46,320 --> 00:39:47,958 Although my mum and I have watched 1042 00:39:47,960 --> 00:39:49,360 Pretty Woman, like, a million times. 1043 00:39:49,560 --> 00:39:52,632 Oh, I love that movie! It's why I'm doing this. 1044 00:39:53,560 --> 00:39:54,959 - Oh, wow. - Yeah. 1045 00:39:55,960 --> 00:39:57,393 It feels kind of dirty. (CHUCKLES) 1046 00:39:57,640 --> 00:39:58,959 You feel dirty? 1047 00:39:58,960 --> 00:40:00,996 You're my third client tonight. It's only 9:00 PM. 1048 00:40:01,560 --> 00:40:02,595 Oh, really? 1049 00:40:02,960 --> 00:40:05,110 So, um, you just have to pay my manager, 1050 00:40:05,200 --> 00:40:06,952 and then we're, like, good. 1051 00:40:06,960 --> 00:40:07,995 Oh, yeah, um... 1052 00:40:08,960 --> 00:40:10,188 Got it right here. 1053 00:40:10,400 --> 00:40:11,958 Hi. Nate. 1054 00:40:15,720 --> 00:40:17,551 (HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING) 1055 00:40:23,960 --> 00:40:25,188 - Nate? - Yeah. 1056 00:40:25,320 --> 00:40:26,639 Hi, I'm Trina. (CHUCKLES) 1057 00:40:26,960 --> 00:40:29,394 I don't do handshakes, I do hugs. Get in here! 1058 00:40:29,560 --> 00:40:30,834 (BOTH LAUGHING) 1059 00:40:30,960 --> 00:40:32,552 Oh, my gosh, you guys are gonna have 1060 00:40:32,640 --> 00:40:34,312 so much fun tonight. I can feel it. 1061 00:40:34,560 --> 00:40:35,959 - You're already a couple. - Hope so. 1062 00:40:35,960 --> 00:40:36,949 - (CHUCKLES) - Already. 1063 00:40:36,960 --> 00:40:38,598 - Is this for me? - Um, yes, ma'am. 1064 00:40:38,800 --> 00:40:41,792 Oh, my gosh. Look at him. Prepared. I love that. 1065 00:40:41,960 --> 00:40:42,949 I'm not even gonna count it. 1066 00:40:42,960 --> 00:40:43,995 - You know why? - Mmm-mmm. 1067 00:40:44,320 --> 00:40:46,311 - 'Cause we're friends, right? - Yeah. 1068 00:40:46,520 --> 00:40:48,317 (CHUCKLING) Yeah, we're not fucking friends. 1069 00:40:48,400 --> 00:40:49,594 Oh, my God. 1070 00:40:49,720 --> 00:40:51,756 So if you're thinking of fucking with me, 1071 00:40:51,840 --> 00:40:53,273 or with my girl, 1072 00:40:53,560 --> 00:40:56,757 don't. Because I'm hella stressed out right now. 1073 00:40:56,960 --> 00:40:59,110 This week has been a scheduling nightmare! 1074 00:40:59,560 --> 00:41:00,754 My iCal crashed, 1075 00:41:00,840 --> 00:41:03,354 and now all my appointments are set in 2019. 1076 00:41:03,840 --> 00:41:04,955 And in Hebrew. 1077 00:41:05,000 --> 00:41:07,195 It's a flawed program. I've been saying this for years. 1078 00:41:07,400 --> 00:41:08,958 - Shut up. - (WHIMPERS) 1079 00:41:09,120 --> 00:41:10,633 My point is, 1080 00:41:10,960 --> 00:41:13,952 if one more person pisses me off... One more... 1081 00:41:14,280 --> 00:41:15,952 I don't know what's gonna happen. 1082 00:41:15,960 --> 00:41:16,960 (NATE WHIMPERS) 1083 00:41:17,080 --> 00:41:18,798 I don't know what I'm gonna do. 1084 00:41:19,120 --> 00:41:21,111 - We're clear? - (SNIFFLES) 1085 00:41:21,200 --> 00:41:23,953 Okay, so now, um, just have a good time. 1086 00:41:24,400 --> 00:41:27,392 If you use handcuffs, have a spare key, okay? 1087 00:41:27,720 --> 00:41:30,314 Jesus, we do not want to go through Thanksgiving again. 1088 00:41:30,840 --> 00:41:32,440 Um, hey, if you need me in the next hour, 1089 00:41:32,560 --> 00:41:33,629 I'll be at Whole Foods. 1090 00:41:33,760 --> 00:41:34,795 Okay. 1091 00:41:35,280 --> 00:41:36,952 Alexei, open my fucking door! 1092 00:41:37,400 --> 00:41:39,960 Come on. Let's go meet your friends. 1093 00:41:40,120 --> 00:41:41,951 I can close it myself! 1094 00:41:42,160 --> 00:41:45,072 I'm a woman in 2016. Jesus. 1095 00:41:45,640 --> 00:41:46,959 (CHEERY MUSIC PLAYING) 1096 00:41:47,360 --> 00:41:49,749 Okay, Clay, incoming. I just got a text from Carla. 1097 00:41:49,840 --> 00:41:51,056 Walter's on his way up. This is it. 1098 00:41:51,080 --> 00:41:52,296 Okay, okay. So we need an employee 1099 00:41:52,320 --> 00:41:53,576 to sit on my lap right when he comes up. 1100 00:41:53,600 --> 00:41:54,953 A cheerful one. Definitely not Jeremy. 1101 00:41:54,960 --> 00:41:55,995 Uh, sure, great plan. 1102 00:41:56,200 --> 00:41:58,555 Great. Good, good. Here. You try and get this on. 1103 00:42:01,760 --> 00:42:02,954 JOSH: Hey, Walter! 1104 00:42:03,000 --> 00:42:04,558 - Welcome to Zenotek. - How are you? 1105 00:42:04,640 --> 00:42:05,834 I'm so glad you came. 1106 00:42:05,960 --> 00:42:07,056 Good to see you. Can I take your coat? 1107 00:42:07,080 --> 00:42:08,896 - No, no, I'm good, actually. - You sure? Okay. 1108 00:42:08,920 --> 00:42:10,936 All right. Walt, what would you like to get started with? 1109 00:42:10,960 --> 00:42:11,949 You know, we got a photo booth. 1110 00:42:11,960 --> 00:42:14,076 It's like getting your picture taken in a tiny house. 1111 00:42:14,200 --> 00:42:15,269 We love it. 1112 00:42:15,360 --> 00:42:17,078 Oh, uh, Jimmy Butler is here! 1113 00:42:17,280 --> 00:42:19,191 Jimmy Butler from the Bulls is here. 1114 00:42:19,320 --> 00:42:20,400 What? Come on! Where is he? 1115 00:42:20,600 --> 00:42:22,920 Do you want to take a selfie with him? Everyone's doin' it. 1116 00:42:22,960 --> 00:42:24,518 You know, I'm a Cavs fan, actually. 1117 00:42:24,720 --> 00:42:25,948 - Oh. - There's a good team. 1118 00:42:26,080 --> 00:42:27,680 - This was a mistake. - Hang on. Hang on. 1119 00:42:27,720 --> 00:42:28,835 No, no, no. Come on. 1120 00:42:28,960 --> 00:42:30,996 Now, a mistake would be to miss the salmon station. 1121 00:42:31,120 --> 00:42:32,269 Do you like salmon? Huh? 1122 00:42:32,520 --> 00:42:35,717 You want to swim upstream with me and go try some salmon? 1123 00:42:35,960 --> 00:42:37,712 What does that even mean? 1124 00:42:37,920 --> 00:42:39,816 You know what? Let's start with a drink. Come on. 1125 00:42:39,840 --> 00:42:42,400 Yeah. Are you thirsty? Clay, you want a drink with Walter? 1126 00:42:42,640 --> 00:42:44,631 One vibrator, please. 1127 00:42:45,120 --> 00:42:46,553 - Okay. Here you go. - (EXCLAIMS) 1128 00:42:46,800 --> 00:42:49,360 - It's really a body massager. - No, it's a vibrator. 1129 00:42:49,600 --> 00:42:51,750 - (TRACEY TALKING INDISTINCTLY) - Hey, Josh! 1130 00:42:51,960 --> 00:42:53,712 Oh, hey, Jeremy. This is Jeremy, 1131 00:42:53,800 --> 00:42:55,074 our customer service manager. 1132 00:42:55,280 --> 00:42:57,714 Hi, nice to meet you. Mary just fucking cited me! 1133 00:42:57,920 --> 00:42:59,273 Okay? I thought this was a party. 1134 00:42:59,520 --> 00:43:01,909 If I want to dick tap Alan, I'm gonna dick tap Alan. 1135 00:43:01,960 --> 00:43:02,995 That's a timeless gag! 1136 00:43:03,120 --> 00:43:04,951 - Never not funny! - Okay, off you go. 1137 00:43:05,080 --> 00:43:08,959 She is like a poisonous fucking cloud of shit gas, 1138 00:43:09,360 --> 00:43:12,272 like, just seeping into everybody's good time. 1139 00:43:12,520 --> 00:43:16,274 Every word she says makes my fucking haemorrhoids throb! 1140 00:43:16,720 --> 00:43:18,950 - I want that on the record. - It is. 1141 00:43:19,360 --> 00:43:20,759 He's in customer service? 1142 00:43:20,840 --> 00:43:21,976 Yeah, he's much better on the phone. 1143 00:43:22,000 --> 00:43:23,640 That's really where he shines. Here we go. 1144 00:43:23,960 --> 00:43:25,951 Hey, can we get a scotch? Um, Macallan, right? 1145 00:43:26,320 --> 00:43:28,311 Uh, no, dude. It's the eggnog luge. 1146 00:43:28,640 --> 00:43:31,313 Oh. Just the eggnog. Okay. Great. Well... 1147 00:43:31,760 --> 00:43:33,398 Uh, looks like fun. Ladies first. 1148 00:43:33,640 --> 00:43:36,552 - Josh, I insist. After you. - Well, I'm not much on eggnog. 1149 00:43:36,760 --> 00:43:37,976 TRACEY: Don't listen to this guy. He's Mr Fun. 1150 00:43:38,000 --> 00:43:40,309 He'll do anything for the party. So, come on! 1151 00:43:40,560 --> 00:43:43,120 Hey, everybody! Josh is gonna do the luge! 1152 00:43:43,320 --> 00:43:46,118 No, no. I don't think so. It's not for me. 1153 00:43:46,560 --> 00:43:49,120 ALL: (CHANTING) Josh! Josh! Josh! Josh! 1154 00:43:49,560 --> 00:43:51,312 It looks like they want you to do it. 1155 00:43:51,560 --> 00:43:53,118 Should I do it? I'll do it. 1156 00:43:53,560 --> 00:43:55,949 I'll do it, I'll do it. Okay, let's do it. 1157 00:43:56,160 --> 00:43:58,276 This the luge right here? Here we go. 1158 00:43:58,960 --> 00:44:01,554 Here we go... Here we go... 1159 00:44:01,640 --> 00:44:02,993 (ALL CHEERING) 1160 00:44:05,400 --> 00:44:06,515 JOSH: Mmm-hmm. 1161 00:44:09,800 --> 00:44:10,915 Mmm. 1162 00:44:13,960 --> 00:44:14,949 Oh, God. 1163 00:44:14,960 --> 00:44:16,359 (LAUGHING) 1164 00:44:16,520 --> 00:44:18,954 Whoo! Okay, Walter, your turn. 1165 00:44:19,080 --> 00:44:20,149 Where'd Walter go? 1166 00:44:20,280 --> 00:44:21,793 I totally got you deep throating him. 1167 00:44:21,960 --> 00:44:23,336 Oh, well, look at that. That's beautiful. 1168 00:44:23,360 --> 00:44:25,590 Where'd Walter go, huh? Clay, did you see Walter? 1169 00:44:25,920 --> 00:44:27,496 I don't know about that whole throne thing. 1170 00:44:27,520 --> 00:44:28,720 I mean, nobody liked the gifts, 1171 00:44:28,800 --> 00:44:30,976 everybody was complaining and the lap-sitting got weird. 1172 00:44:31,000 --> 00:44:32,115 Oh, no. 1173 00:44:32,200 --> 00:44:33,269 CLAY: What's happening? 1174 00:44:33,360 --> 00:44:34,536 JOSH: Well, it's just not working. 1175 00:44:34,560 --> 00:44:35,696 If you took away everybody's drinks 1176 00:44:35,720 --> 00:44:36,789 and turned up the lights, 1177 00:44:36,920 --> 00:44:38,816 it just looks like we're at work. You know what I mean? 1178 00:44:38,840 --> 00:44:39,955 We need to get amped up. 1179 00:44:39,960 --> 00:44:41,757 We need to get them interacting. 1180 00:44:41,960 --> 00:44:43,736 You guys should do what you did at the party last year. 1181 00:44:43,760 --> 00:44:44,954 No. Not doing that. Come on. 1182 00:44:45,120 --> 00:44:46,189 No, that was lame. 1183 00:44:46,400 --> 00:44:48,176 No, no, it was fucking awesome! People loved it! 1184 00:44:48,200 --> 00:44:49,394 It wasn't. And they didn't. 1185 00:44:49,640 --> 00:44:50,993 Do it for the company. All right? 1186 00:44:51,200 --> 00:44:53,839 I'm gonna go give Walter party mouth-to-mouth. 1187 00:44:54,000 --> 00:44:55,638 Is he crying? 1188 00:44:55,960 --> 00:44:56,976 I wanted to give you this pamphlet 1189 00:44:57,000 --> 00:44:58,399 which has a lot of good information 1190 00:44:58,600 --> 00:45:00,955 about the signs and symptoms of sadness. 1191 00:45:01,360 --> 00:45:02,509 When I'm sad, 1192 00:45:02,600 --> 00:45:05,160 I like to remember something my grandma used to sing. 1193 00:45:06,960 --> 00:45:08,951 (SINGING IN GERMAN) 1194 00:45:10,960 --> 00:45:11,995 It's about ducklings. 1195 00:45:12,120 --> 00:45:13,838 (CONTINUES SINGING IN GERMAN) 1196 00:45:15,320 --> 00:45:17,959 Mary, you wore a blue coat, right? 1197 00:45:18,200 --> 00:45:19,952 - No, I wore my beige poof. - Oh, that's it. 1198 00:45:20,000 --> 00:45:21,160 It's probably not a big deal, 1199 00:45:21,200 --> 00:45:23,191 but I saw Meghan rifling through all the pockets. 1200 00:45:23,400 --> 00:45:26,119 No, no, no, no. My Bath & Body Works coupons! 1201 00:45:26,560 --> 00:45:28,391 Walter. Clay Vanstone, remember? 1202 00:45:28,560 --> 00:45:29,629 - Hey. - How are you? 1203 00:45:29,760 --> 00:45:32,593 - I want to show you Zenotek. - Ah. Yes. 1204 00:45:32,960 --> 00:45:34,951 (HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING) 1205 00:45:50,800 --> 00:45:52,358 You're a very expressive dancer. 1206 00:45:52,640 --> 00:45:54,120 Oh, thanks. Let me know if you want me 1207 00:45:54,160 --> 00:45:55,957 to dance, like, sexy or something, you know? 1208 00:45:56,800 --> 00:45:58,000 - Yeah. No, we're good. - Okay. 1209 00:46:00,080 --> 00:46:02,958 Uh, hey, there's actually some guys I want you to meet. 1210 00:46:03,080 --> 00:46:04,149 SAVANNAH: Okay, great. 1211 00:46:04,280 --> 00:46:06,336 Let's just work out the money thing first, though, yeah? 1212 00:46:06,360 --> 00:46:08,396 Uh, I already gave Trina $200. 1213 00:46:08,560 --> 00:46:10,136 Oh, yeah, that's just for the first hour. 1214 00:46:10,160 --> 00:46:11,576 If you want me for the rest of the night, 1215 00:46:11,600 --> 00:46:12,953 it's gonna be another $2,000. 1216 00:46:13,120 --> 00:46:15,953 - Two grand? No. No way. - Yeah. 1217 00:46:15,960 --> 00:46:17,336 (STAMMERING) The website clearly said 1218 00:46:17,360 --> 00:46:19,191 it was $200 for the whole night. 1219 00:46:19,400 --> 00:46:21,834 Do I look like I'm $200 a night? 1220 00:46:22,280 --> 00:46:24,350 Okay, fine. I'll go to an ATM, okay? 1221 00:46:24,760 --> 00:46:25,954 Okay. Give me your watch as collateral. 1222 00:46:25,960 --> 00:46:26,960 It's my grandmother's. 1223 00:46:27,120 --> 00:46:28,155 I don't care. 1224 00:46:28,280 --> 00:46:29,349 Shit. 1225 00:46:37,160 --> 00:46:38,275 Holy shit. 1226 00:46:38,360 --> 00:46:42,273 (EXHALES) That was just how daddy likes it. 1227 00:46:42,360 --> 00:46:43,395 Mmm-hmm. 1228 00:46:43,720 --> 00:46:44,789 Check it out. 1229 00:46:45,160 --> 00:46:47,276 - You're a fireman. - (BOTH LAUGH) 1230 00:46:48,960 --> 00:46:51,918 Must be really nice to have a day care centre at work. 1231 00:46:51,960 --> 00:46:54,155 Yeah, yeah. Clay set this up when I was pregnant. 1232 00:46:54,360 --> 00:46:55,576 I think he just wanted an excuse 1233 00:46:55,600 --> 00:46:56,953 to have Play-Doh in the office. 1234 00:46:57,960 --> 00:46:59,552 - Shall we? - Oh. (CHUCKLES) 1235 00:47:02,920 --> 00:47:04,831 - You are such a good mum. - Aw. 1236 00:47:05,720 --> 00:47:06,755 Thanks. 1237 00:47:08,080 --> 00:47:10,389 I, uh, bet you'd make me finish all my homework 1238 00:47:10,560 --> 00:47:12,152 before I could go outside and play. 1239 00:47:12,520 --> 00:47:15,273 Yeah, especially if you were being naughty. 1240 00:47:15,920 --> 00:47:17,273 Do I need to be punished? 1241 00:47:17,840 --> 00:47:19,956 Well, I guess that depends on your homework. 1242 00:47:26,080 --> 00:47:27,195 I bet you'd make me 1243 00:47:27,320 --> 00:47:29,515 brush my teeth so I don't get any cavities. 1244 00:47:29,920 --> 00:47:32,957 Oh, we're still doing this. Okay. (CHUCKLES) 1245 00:47:36,520 --> 00:47:38,158 I've been a bad boy, Mummy. 1246 00:47:38,360 --> 00:47:40,954 Okay, um, do you have some kind of weird fetish? 1247 00:47:41,200 --> 00:47:42,952 What? No! 1248 00:47:43,200 --> 00:47:44,880 No, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to give you 1249 00:47:44,960 --> 00:47:45,960 that impression. 1250 00:47:46,000 --> 00:47:47,399 - I just got carried away. - Oh. 1251 00:47:47,760 --> 00:47:49,751 I just really like you. 1252 00:47:49,960 --> 00:47:51,951 Yeah. I really like you, too. 1253 00:47:59,960 --> 00:48:01,393 (BOTH MOANING) 1254 00:48:02,920 --> 00:48:04,592 Something's happening in my diaper. 1255 00:48:04,800 --> 00:48:06,518 - Okay. Fuck this. I got to go. - Huh? 1256 00:48:06,720 --> 00:48:07,896 - This is my nightmare. - What? 1257 00:48:07,920 --> 00:48:09,911 - So, yes, I'm in hell. - No, uh... 1258 00:48:09,960 --> 00:48:11,359 - So I'm gonna go. - Mummy! 1259 00:48:11,600 --> 00:48:12,794 I mean, Allison. Don't leave. 1260 00:48:12,960 --> 00:48:17,192 Save that shit for the fourth date like a normal person! 1261 00:48:20,760 --> 00:48:21,954 Sorry. 1262 00:48:22,360 --> 00:48:23,952 (MUTTERING) 1263 00:48:26,000 --> 00:48:28,309 All right, Nate, this is what you've been saving for. 1264 00:48:30,560 --> 00:48:31,959 Who designed this? 1265 00:48:31,960 --> 00:48:33,320 - Come on! - (CASH MACHINE BEEPING) 1266 00:48:34,000 --> 00:48:35,956 Shit! Fuck me! 1267 00:48:36,800 --> 00:48:38,074 (MUTTERING) 1268 00:48:40,960 --> 00:48:41,960 Yes. 1269 00:48:43,320 --> 00:48:44,496 - (TYRES SCREECH) - (NATE YELLS) 1270 00:48:44,520 --> 00:48:45,589 (HORN BLARES) 1271 00:48:45,720 --> 00:48:46,948 (NATE PANTING) 1272 00:48:48,200 --> 00:48:50,156 I'm okay! Merry Christmas! 1273 00:48:53,640 --> 00:48:55,153 (SIGHS) Okay. You ready? 1274 00:48:56,800 --> 00:48:58,916 Okay, you look ridiculous. 1275 00:48:59,960 --> 00:49:01,712 Is it the hat? 1276 00:49:02,200 --> 00:49:04,919 (CLUB MUSIC PLAYING) 1277 00:49:05,920 --> 00:49:07,911 Hey. Merry Christmas, everybody! 1278 00:49:08,280 --> 00:49:10,635 Who's happy about the holidays? 1279 00:49:17,120 --> 00:49:18,951 Okay. Okay. (LAUGHS) 1280 00:49:30,960 --> 00:49:32,552 (CROWD CHEERING) 1281 00:49:47,080 --> 00:49:50,595 Hey, so, um, you dickheads want to buy some cocaine? 1282 00:49:50,960 --> 00:49:52,916 (STAMMERS) Yeah! We'll do that. 1283 00:49:53,000 --> 00:49:54,831 One cocaine. Want to do it with us? 1284 00:49:54,960 --> 00:49:55,960 (CHEERING) 1285 00:49:56,000 --> 00:49:57,513 (COUGHING) 1286 00:49:58,720 --> 00:50:00,517 Yeah! Yeah! 1287 00:50:00,960 --> 00:50:03,349 (BOTH SCATTING) 1288 00:50:04,520 --> 00:50:06,511 I believe in taking risks, Walter. 1289 00:50:06,720 --> 00:50:08,950 Zenotek, my company, believes in taking risks. 1290 00:50:08,960 --> 00:50:10,136 You know what we should do tonight? 1291 00:50:10,160 --> 00:50:11,296 We should do something that scares us. 1292 00:50:11,320 --> 00:50:12,389 Makes us feel alive! 1293 00:50:13,960 --> 00:50:14,949 Do you think you could 1294 00:50:14,960 --> 00:50:16,837 swing across the dance floor with those lights? 1295 00:50:17,120 --> 00:50:18,189 What's that? 1296 00:50:18,560 --> 00:50:20,312 Like, if you grabbed every single strand, 1297 00:50:20,520 --> 00:50:21,616 do you think that you could swing 1298 00:50:21,640 --> 00:50:23,736 and then time it just right and grab all of those strands, 1299 00:50:23,760 --> 00:50:25,955 then, like Tarzan, make it all the way to my office? 1300 00:50:25,960 --> 00:50:27,951 Merry fucking Christmas. 1301 00:50:28,800 --> 00:50:29,949 You know what? 1302 00:50:30,360 --> 00:50:32,954 This has been really great, and I thank you, but, 1303 00:50:33,080 --> 00:50:34,776 - it's time to hit the road. - (GLASSES CLINK) 1304 00:50:34,800 --> 00:50:36,711 Oh. Um, you can't leave yet, 1305 00:50:36,800 --> 00:50:38,120 'cause we're just getting started! 1306 00:50:58,080 --> 00:50:59,832 (SNOW MACHINE HISSING) 1307 00:51:00,960 --> 00:51:03,952 Hey! You got snow machined. That's meant to be lucky. 1308 00:51:03,960 --> 00:51:04,960 It tastes bitter. 1309 00:51:05,000 --> 00:51:07,000 It's just paper products. Let's get you cleaned up. 1310 00:51:07,400 --> 00:51:09,391 Great, great. So I guess we'll just take two 1311 00:51:09,560 --> 00:51:10,736 and call you in the morning, then? 1312 00:51:10,760 --> 00:51:12,955 - Is that, uh... - Yeah, don't call me. 1313 00:51:13,560 --> 00:51:15,551 TIM: You on Snapchat? 1314 00:51:16,120 --> 00:51:19,556 DREW: We'll be up here if you want to come back up here. 1315 00:51:20,120 --> 00:51:21,553 (PANTING) I need some air. 1316 00:51:21,760 --> 00:51:23,830 Oh, also I have your Secret Santa. 1317 00:51:24,000 --> 00:51:25,069 Oh. Okay. 1318 00:51:27,520 --> 00:51:28,953 What are you doing? 1319 00:51:29,120 --> 00:51:30,599 Pissing off Mary. 1320 00:51:30,920 --> 00:51:34,276 # GreatestPartyEver. #OpenBar. 1321 00:51:34,520 --> 00:51:35,919 How do you spell "Hanukkah"? 1322 00:51:35,960 --> 00:51:37,712 Wait, who are you sending that to? 1323 00:51:37,960 --> 00:51:39,951 Oh, you know, everyone in Chicago. 1324 00:51:40,960 --> 00:51:41,995 (GIGGLES) 1325 00:51:42,960 --> 00:51:44,096 TRACEY: You've never been up here? 1326 00:51:44,120 --> 00:51:45,155 JOSH: No. 1327 00:51:45,560 --> 00:51:46,913 TRACEY: This is where I usually am 1328 00:51:46,960 --> 00:51:48,757 during the sexual harassment seminars. 1329 00:51:48,960 --> 00:51:50,837 Oh, it's beautiful. 1330 00:51:52,640 --> 00:51:54,756 Oh, it's colder up here for sure. 1331 00:51:55,320 --> 00:51:56,958 And it's, uh... 1332 00:51:57,320 --> 00:51:59,754 Oh, man, it's higher. 1333 00:52:01,320 --> 00:52:03,117 Maybe let's go... Let's go lower. 1334 00:52:03,520 --> 00:52:04,953 And warmer. Come on. 1335 00:52:07,960 --> 00:52:10,633 - Uh-oh. - No. No, it never locks. 1336 00:52:11,080 --> 00:52:13,150 Wait, no. It never locks! 1337 00:52:13,800 --> 00:52:15,000 I bet you're also never up here 1338 00:52:15,120 --> 00:52:16,348 - at night, right? - No. 1339 00:52:16,800 --> 00:52:18,950 It's all right, I came prepared. 1340 00:52:20,920 --> 00:52:21,955 So did I. 1341 00:52:22,160 --> 00:52:23,593 Your Secret Santa. 1342 00:52:23,800 --> 00:52:25,056 That's a lot better than where I'm keeping mine. 1343 00:52:25,080 --> 00:52:26,149 (LAUGHS) 1344 00:52:29,200 --> 00:52:30,315 Excuse me. Mr Vanstone? 1345 00:52:30,400 --> 00:52:32,311 - Have you seen this? - Hi. I'm Rodney. 1346 00:52:32,960 --> 00:52:35,110 (STAMMERING) We haven't met yet. I'm an intern here. 1347 00:52:35,200 --> 00:52:37,395 I just wanted to say Merry Christmas. 1348 00:52:37,760 --> 00:52:40,320 - Yes, you can have a job. - Are you serious? 1349 00:52:40,640 --> 00:52:42,631 Yeah, party hire. Junior associate. Congrats. 1350 00:52:42,840 --> 00:52:44,751 Oh, my God. Mr Vanstone, thank you! 1351 00:52:44,960 --> 00:52:46,313 - Thank you. - Thank you so much. 1352 00:52:46,760 --> 00:52:48,040 - Oh, my God. Yes? - Hey, Rodney! 1353 00:52:48,320 --> 00:52:49,799 We're gonna get you a new name. 1354 00:52:49,920 --> 00:52:51,000 Done! I'll call my parents. 1355 00:52:51,560 --> 00:52:53,198 Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! 1356 00:52:53,960 --> 00:52:54,960 Hey. You okay? 1357 00:52:55,200 --> 00:52:56,952 Ha! I was down. I was having a bad day. 1358 00:52:56,960 --> 00:52:58,075 But now I'm lifting. 1359 00:52:58,200 --> 00:52:59,280 I'm seeing things. My mind. 1360 00:52:59,360 --> 00:53:01,316 The ideas are flying through my mind! 1361 00:53:01,640 --> 00:53:03,278 - I'm feeling strong. - Okay, good. 1362 00:53:03,960 --> 00:53:05,837 - High five. Ha! - Sure. 1363 00:53:05,960 --> 00:53:06,995 Ha-ha! 1364 00:53:07,120 --> 00:53:09,554 You can't keep Walter Davis down forever, baby! 1365 00:53:09,800 --> 00:53:11,711 (BOTH CHEERING) 1366 00:53:11,800 --> 00:53:12,915 (BOTH LAUGH) 1367 00:53:13,000 --> 00:53:14,399 Let's go get fucked up. 1368 00:53:14,600 --> 00:53:15,635 Okay, but not too much. 1369 00:53:15,760 --> 00:53:16,954 When I drink, a lot of bad things happen. 1370 00:53:16,960 --> 00:53:18,296 You know, my sister's horse goes missing. 1371 00:53:18,320 --> 00:53:20,117 My car is covered in horse hair and blood. 1372 00:53:20,200 --> 00:53:21,315 Fingers get pointed. 1373 00:53:21,560 --> 00:53:23,994 Smoke PCP as a favour. Beach burns down. 1374 00:53:24,200 --> 00:53:25,792 That ain't never been my problem. 1375 00:53:25,920 --> 00:53:27,831 Come on! Let's go get a drink! Yeah! 1376 00:53:28,280 --> 00:53:29,838 - (ALL CHEERING) - Oh, shit! 1377 00:53:30,160 --> 00:53:31,832 (YELLING) 1378 00:53:33,960 --> 00:53:35,154 (WALTER YELLING) 1379 00:53:40,560 --> 00:53:41,754 (YELLING) 1380 00:53:42,760 --> 00:53:44,193 (ALL CHEERING) 1381 00:54:08,960 --> 00:54:10,256 WEATHERMAN: We're expecting blizzard conditions 1382 00:54:10,280 --> 00:54:11,349 for 12 to 24 hours... 1383 00:54:11,520 --> 00:54:12,555 Just get me on a plane. 1384 00:54:12,640 --> 00:54:13,959 Get me on any goddamn plane, all right? 1385 00:54:13,960 --> 00:54:15,951 I have enough miles to orbit the sun. 1386 00:54:16,080 --> 00:54:17,720 I'm sorry, ma'am. All flights are grounded 1387 00:54:17,760 --> 00:54:18,795 until the snow clears. 1388 00:54:18,920 --> 00:54:19,955 There's nothing more I can do. 1389 00:54:19,960 --> 00:54:22,155 Well, refer me to someone who can do something. 1390 00:54:22,360 --> 00:54:23,952 That would be God, ma'am. 1391 00:54:24,000 --> 00:54:25,831 Oh, Her. 1392 00:54:27,360 --> 00:54:28,793 Have a great holiday. 1393 00:54:28,960 --> 00:54:29,960 Shit. 1394 00:54:37,840 --> 00:54:39,637 Did you eat my Cinnabon? 1395 00:54:40,560 --> 00:54:41,754 No. 1396 00:54:42,840 --> 00:54:43,989 Where's your mother? 1397 00:54:44,400 --> 00:54:45,958 Bathroom. 1398 00:54:47,960 --> 00:54:50,952 - What's your name, sweetie? - Darcy. 1399 00:54:51,120 --> 00:54:52,155 Oh. 1400 00:54:53,960 --> 00:54:54,960 (CLEARS THROAT) 1401 00:54:55,920 --> 00:54:56,955 Hi, Santa. 1402 00:54:57,720 --> 00:55:00,917 Yes, Carol Vanstone. I'm here with Darcy. 1403 00:55:01,760 --> 00:55:03,113 I know. Terrible name. 1404 00:55:03,960 --> 00:55:05,757 And she's being a little shit here 1405 00:55:05,840 --> 00:55:06,989 in the first class lounge. 1406 00:55:07,200 --> 00:55:08,599 So I think we should cancel 1407 00:55:08,720 --> 00:55:11,188 all of her Christmas presents this year. 1408 00:55:11,760 --> 00:55:12,954 Yeah. And while she's asleep, 1409 00:55:13,000 --> 00:55:15,275 why don't you take that doll, too. 1410 00:55:15,760 --> 00:55:16,954 Great. Bye. 1411 00:55:17,320 --> 00:55:18,696 MAN ON PA: May I have your attention, please. 1412 00:55:18,720 --> 00:55:21,075 Due to inclement weather, all flights have been cancelled. 1413 00:55:21,360 --> 00:55:22,509 Shit! 1414 00:55:22,600 --> 00:55:24,556 - (PASSENGERS MUTTERING) - (CAROL GROANS) 1415 00:55:26,960 --> 00:55:28,313 (WHISPERS) Fuck you! 1416 00:55:31,960 --> 00:55:33,791 (CROWD CHEERING) 1417 00:55:33,960 --> 00:55:35,336 CLAY: Zenotek, you having a good time now? 1418 00:55:35,360 --> 00:55:37,078 You ready to kick this up a notch, huh? 1419 00:55:37,360 --> 00:55:38,952 (ALL CHEERING) 1420 00:55:39,720 --> 00:55:41,915 Hit me with the horns, Calvis! 1421 00:55:41,960 --> 00:55:43,518 Old school. 1422 00:55:43,600 --> 00:55:44,749 (MUSIC PLAYS) 1423 00:55:46,280 --> 00:55:47,554 Make some noise! 1424 00:55:49,320 --> 00:55:50,355 Yeah! 1425 00:55:50,520 --> 00:55:52,636 - (UPBEAT HIP-HOP PLAYING) - (ALL CHEERING) 1426 00:55:52,760 --> 00:55:54,512 (VOCALIZING) 1427 00:55:54,600 --> 00:55:55,749 (RAPPING) # Here we go now! 1428 00:55:55,960 --> 00:55:57,552 Is this not the best fucking party 1429 00:55:57,640 --> 00:55:59,119 y'all been to? Come on down! 1430 00:55:59,320 --> 00:56:01,311 # Here we go now! Here we go now! 1431 00:56:01,760 --> 00:56:04,911 # Here we go, here we go! Let me clear my throat 1432 00:56:06,360 --> 00:56:07,952 Yeah, get on up here. 1433 00:56:08,160 --> 00:56:10,720 Give it up for Walter! My main man, Walter! 1434 00:56:11,400 --> 00:56:12,515 (MIMICS CLEARING THROAT) 1435 00:56:12,600 --> 00:56:13,635 ALL: Goddamn! 1436 00:56:13,840 --> 00:56:15,193 Get on up here, Mary! 1437 00:56:15,400 --> 00:56:17,960 Give me the mike. No, no, no. Give me the mike. 1438 00:56:18,120 --> 00:56:19,553 - Give it up for Mary! - No, no. 1439 00:56:19,640 --> 00:56:22,108 - Mary, everybody, yeah! - (CHEERING) 1440 00:56:22,200 --> 00:56:23,633 You got to stop. 1441 00:56:23,840 --> 00:56:25,751 (RAPPING) # When I say H, you say R 1442 00:56:25,960 --> 00:56:27,951 - # H.R.! H.R.! - (CROWD RESPONDING) 1443 00:56:28,000 --> 00:56:30,309 # When I say H, you say R 1444 00:56:30,560 --> 00:56:32,630 - # H.R.! H.R.! - (CROWD RESPONDING) 1445 00:56:32,840 --> 00:56:34,956 # And when she says H, you say R 1446 00:56:35,120 --> 00:56:37,554 - # H.R.! H.R.! - (CROWD RESPONDING) 1447 00:56:37,640 --> 00:56:39,551 Yeah! (EXCLAIMS) 1448 00:56:39,920 --> 00:56:41,148 (CLAY MIMICS CLEARING THROAT) 1449 00:56:42,120 --> 00:56:44,156 (RAPPING) # If y'all want to party like we do 1450 00:56:44,280 --> 00:56:45,952 # If y'all want to party like us 1451 00:56:46,080 --> 00:56:48,958 # Let me hear you say, "Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah!" 1452 00:56:49,080 --> 00:56:51,275 (CROWD RESPONDING) 1453 00:56:51,360 --> 00:56:53,396 # If y'all want to party like we do 1454 00:56:53,560 --> 00:56:54,959 # If y'all want to party like us 1455 00:56:55,360 --> 00:56:58,352 # Let me hear you say, "Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah!" 1456 00:56:58,520 --> 00:57:00,715 (VOCALIZING) 1457 00:57:00,800 --> 00:57:03,792 Okay, that's part of it. Yeah! 1458 00:57:04,640 --> 00:57:06,040 She's what makes this company great, 1459 00:57:06,120 --> 00:57:08,918 just like every motherfucker in here! 1460 00:57:08,960 --> 00:57:09,949 (ALL CHEERING) 1461 00:57:09,960 --> 00:57:12,315 # When I say freeze, y'all freeze one time 1462 00:57:12,560 --> 00:57:13,959 # Freeze! 1463 00:57:15,960 --> 00:57:17,791 # Now let me clear my throat 1464 00:57:18,120 --> 00:57:20,588 # Special dedication going out to all the ladies 1465 00:57:20,720 --> 00:57:21,960 # And all the brothers in here! 1466 00:57:22,320 --> 00:57:24,959 ALL: (CHANTING) Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! 1467 00:57:27,560 --> 00:57:28,959 (CHANTING CONTINUES) 1468 00:57:38,400 --> 00:57:39,753 (ALL CHEERING) 1469 00:57:39,960 --> 00:57:41,757 TRACEY: This is fun, right? 1470 00:57:41,960 --> 00:57:43,109 JOSH: This has turned 1471 00:57:43,200 --> 00:57:45,839 from charming into life-threatening. 1472 00:57:46,760 --> 00:57:49,832 I cannot believe that they are still not responding. 1473 00:57:50,560 --> 00:57:52,152 At least my death will give my parents 1474 00:57:52,280 --> 00:57:54,280 something to talk about at the meal I'm gonna miss. 1475 00:57:54,560 --> 00:57:56,320 - Going to your parents' place? - Every year. 1476 00:57:56,760 --> 00:57:59,957 This is where not having any family actually pays off. 1477 00:58:00,280 --> 00:58:01,952 I get the whole city to myself. 1478 00:58:02,360 --> 00:58:04,157 It's like some kind of awesome plague came in 1479 00:58:04,280 --> 00:58:06,271 and spared only me and the Chinese restaurants. 1480 00:58:06,720 --> 00:58:07,948 This is useless. 1481 00:58:08,120 --> 00:58:09,951 - You gonna be solo, huh? - (CHUCKLES) 1482 00:58:10,200 --> 00:58:11,952 There's not gonna be a stocking on your mantel 1483 00:58:11,960 --> 00:58:13,552 for Jimmy Butler at your place? 1484 00:58:15,560 --> 00:58:17,391 - What are you doing? - Nothing? 1485 00:58:17,960 --> 00:58:19,757 Just asking. You know? 1486 00:58:20,560 --> 00:58:21,913 You could have dated me, Josh. 1487 00:58:21,960 --> 00:58:23,240 But you freaked out and ran away. 1488 00:58:24,000 --> 00:58:27,276 I still had PTSD from my marriage just ending, so... 1489 00:58:27,960 --> 00:58:28,995 (SCOFFS) 1490 00:58:29,120 --> 00:58:30,951 You'd been separated for a year. 1491 00:58:32,960 --> 00:58:35,190 - I fucked up. - Yeah. 1492 00:58:35,840 --> 00:58:37,398 Because you're an idiot. 1493 00:58:37,960 --> 00:58:39,313 I'm sorry. 1494 00:58:39,960 --> 00:58:42,758 I have been feeling shitty about it. 1495 00:58:50,960 --> 00:58:52,951 We should've done this a long time ago. 1496 00:58:54,400 --> 00:58:55,958 - Yeah. - Right? 1497 00:58:58,960 --> 00:59:00,598 (JEREMY LAUGHING) 1498 00:59:01,720 --> 00:59:02,948 (GRUNTING) 1499 00:59:04,560 --> 00:59:05,834 - Hey, Jeremy. - Huh? 1500 00:59:05,960 --> 00:59:06,949 Hey! 1501 00:59:06,960 --> 00:59:08,757 - Hey, man. - What's up, guys? 1502 00:59:08,960 --> 00:59:12,748 Wow. Good thing I wasn't going number two, huh? 1503 00:59:12,920 --> 00:59:14,319 Yeah. Leave you to it. 1504 00:59:14,560 --> 00:59:17,120 - This is my territory! - JOSH: Got it. That's clear. 1505 00:59:17,200 --> 00:59:18,838 (BARKING) 1506 00:59:19,560 --> 00:59:21,278 CLAY: They can't shut us down! 1507 00:59:21,360 --> 00:59:23,316 We're never gonna get shut down! 1508 00:59:23,760 --> 00:59:25,955 (RAPPING) # When I say Zeno, you say Tek 1509 00:59:26,120 --> 00:59:28,111 - # Zeno-Tek! Zeno-Tek! - (CROWD RESPONDING) 1510 00:59:28,560 --> 00:59:30,755 # When I say Zeno, you say Tek 1511 00:59:30,960 --> 00:59:32,951 - # Zeno-Tek! Zeno-Tek! - (CROWD RESPONDING) 1512 00:59:33,000 --> 00:59:34,558 (CLAY CONTINUES RAPPING) 1513 00:59:34,960 --> 00:59:37,110 It's a Christmas miracle. 1514 00:59:37,920 --> 00:59:39,956 # When I say Zeno, you say Tek 1515 00:59:39,960 --> 00:59:42,076 - # Zeno-Tek! Zeno-Tek! - (CROWD RESPONDING) 1516 00:59:42,520 --> 00:59:44,556 # When I say Zeno, you say Tek 1517 00:59:44,960 --> 00:59:46,996 - # Zeno-Tek! Zeno-Tek! # - (CROWD RESPONDING) 1518 00:59:47,840 --> 00:59:49,956 I love this party! 1519 00:59:50,640 --> 00:59:53,108 I love this company! 1520 00:59:53,760 --> 00:59:56,558 And I want to work with you people! 1521 00:59:56,640 --> 00:59:57,959 (ALL CHEERING) 1522 00:59:58,080 --> 01:00:00,958 What did he just say? Did Clay just close Walter? 1523 01:00:01,120 --> 01:00:03,839 Huh, he really is Santa Claus. 1524 01:00:09,640 --> 01:00:10,959 - Yeah! - (CROWD CHEERING) 1525 01:00:35,200 --> 01:00:36,997 So, Carol. You know, 1526 01:00:37,120 --> 01:00:38,838 - that's my grandmother's name. - Mmm. 1527 01:00:39,960 --> 01:00:41,552 - No, I did not know that. - Yeah. 1528 01:00:42,600 --> 01:00:43,635 Oh. 1529 01:00:43,760 --> 01:00:46,957 It's kind of an old-timey name. Don't really hear 1530 01:00:47,200 --> 01:00:48,952 Carol much anymore. 1531 01:00:50,000 --> 01:00:52,120 It's like... (IMITATING ELDERLY WOMAN) "Hi, I'm Carol. 1532 01:00:52,360 --> 01:00:55,352 "I gotta get home before I miss my stories." 1533 01:00:55,840 --> 01:00:59,958 "Hi, I'm Carol. I heard about Pearl Harbor on the radio." 1534 01:00:59,960 --> 01:01:03,953 "Hi, I'm Carol. I died in the beginning of Up." 1535 01:01:04,760 --> 01:01:05,988 (CHUCKLES) That movie? 1536 01:01:06,600 --> 01:01:08,716 Sorry, I'm just nervous. 1537 01:01:08,960 --> 01:01:12,589 My first night on the job. On the ol' J.O.B. 1538 01:01:12,840 --> 01:01:13,955 - It's your first night? - Yeah. 1539 01:01:13,960 --> 01:01:14,960 Driving? 1540 01:01:15,000 --> 01:01:16,176 First night driving the ol' Ubes. 1541 01:01:16,200 --> 01:01:17,269 (CAROL SIGHS) 1542 01:01:17,360 --> 01:01:19,954 It's a pretty sweet gig, though. Make my own hours. 1543 01:01:20,080 --> 01:01:21,798 You know, I could hook you up 1544 01:01:21,920 --> 01:01:23,353 if you want to be an Uber driver. 1545 01:01:23,720 --> 01:01:25,760 I'm good. I already have a job. Thank you very much. 1546 01:01:25,920 --> 01:01:28,957 Yeah, but you could be CEO of your own car! 1547 01:01:29,280 --> 01:01:30,918 I am a CEO. 1548 01:01:30,960 --> 01:01:32,075 Of Uber? 1549 01:01:32,520 --> 01:01:35,273 Oh, my God. Is this Undercover Boss? 1550 01:01:35,360 --> 01:01:36,588 Is that a camera? 1551 01:01:36,960 --> 01:01:39,155 Am I on ca... Are you wearing a disguise? 1552 01:01:39,360 --> 01:01:40,952 No. This is not Undercover Boss. 1553 01:01:41,080 --> 01:01:42,798 I am not the CEO of Uber. 1554 01:01:42,960 --> 01:01:45,190 I am the CEO of Zenotek. Please just drive. 1555 01:01:45,360 --> 01:01:47,999 (STUTTERS) No shit. I just dropped off, 1556 01:01:48,120 --> 01:01:49,951 like, four people at that party tonight. 1557 01:01:51,960 --> 01:01:52,960 I'm sorry? 1558 01:01:53,080 --> 01:01:55,514 They gave me three stars like a bunch of bitches. 1559 01:01:55,600 --> 01:01:56,953 Excuse me. What did you just say? 1560 01:01:57,160 --> 01:01:59,549 - I said they were bitches. - No, no. What party? 1561 01:01:59,760 --> 01:02:02,320 The party at your office. Everybody's like, "Oooh." 1562 01:02:02,960 --> 01:02:06,157 - You son of a bitch, Clay. - Yeah, bunch of bitches! 1563 01:02:06,360 --> 01:02:07,952 (STAMMERS) Can you just... 1564 01:02:07,960 --> 01:02:10,155 - Can you move? Move! - (HORNS HONKING) 1565 01:02:10,280 --> 01:02:12,111 (HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING) 1566 01:02:17,960 --> 01:02:19,757 The English band, the Optic Monkeys? 1567 01:02:19,920 --> 01:02:21,136 You were supposed to see them with your friend Lindsey, 1568 01:02:21,160 --> 01:02:22,280 you were like, "I can't go," 1569 01:02:22,360 --> 01:02:23,536 because you couldn't get a babysitter? 1570 01:02:23,560 --> 01:02:25,755 Did you hack into my emails? 1571 01:02:25,960 --> 01:02:27,598 Get the fuck out of here. 1572 01:02:27,800 --> 01:02:29,916 And never use that British accent again. 1573 01:02:31,000 --> 01:02:32,638 Allison, are you okay? 1574 01:02:32,920 --> 01:02:34,592 No! I'm not okay. 1575 01:02:34,960 --> 01:02:36,951 My ex-husband is dating a stripper, 1576 01:02:37,160 --> 01:02:39,151 Drew is cyberstalking me, 1577 01:02:39,360 --> 01:02:40,759 and Fred from accounting 1578 01:02:40,840 --> 01:02:42,910 is like a human fucking AMBER Alert. 1579 01:02:43,080 --> 01:02:47,073 Don't I deserve to date someone who is nice? 1580 01:02:47,280 --> 01:02:48,713 Of course you do. 1581 01:02:48,960 --> 01:02:51,155 Allison, you're an amazing person. 1582 01:02:51,360 --> 01:02:53,794 You basically take care of this whole office. 1583 01:02:53,960 --> 01:02:54,949 And you do it every day, 1584 01:02:54,960 --> 01:02:56,951 even though most people don't seem to notice. 1585 01:02:56,960 --> 01:02:58,359 - (SIGHING) - So, yeah, 1586 01:02:58,920 --> 01:03:00,592 you deserve someone nice. 1587 01:03:00,960 --> 01:03:01,960 Baby, 1588 01:03:02,280 --> 01:03:05,078 I got your text. Ooh, I missed you. 1589 01:03:05,520 --> 01:03:06,953 Come on, let's dance. 1590 01:03:06,960 --> 01:03:08,951 Just hang in there. 1591 01:03:12,320 --> 01:03:14,834 ALL: (CHANTING) Go, Rodney! Go, Rodney! 1592 01:03:17,000 --> 01:03:18,115 (ALL CHEERING) 1593 01:03:18,200 --> 01:03:19,519 (YELLING) 1594 01:03:24,320 --> 01:03:25,514 Nate! 1595 01:03:25,760 --> 01:03:27,591 Hey, man. Larry from shipping here 1596 01:03:27,720 --> 01:03:28,976 actually has a really great story 1597 01:03:29,000 --> 01:03:30,274 that he wants to tell you. 1598 01:03:30,640 --> 01:03:32,358 I was in the bathroom washing my face, 1599 01:03:32,640 --> 01:03:34,119 and this girl came in, like, 1600 01:03:34,200 --> 01:03:36,589 "I'll give you a handy for $40." 1601 01:03:36,920 --> 01:03:37,955 And the next thing I knew, 1602 01:03:37,960 --> 01:03:41,919 my penis was in her hand and then she starts... 1603 01:03:42,640 --> 01:03:44,551 Okay, Larry, I know how a hand job works. 1604 01:03:44,760 --> 01:03:46,200 I had no idea you guys were together. 1605 01:03:46,560 --> 01:03:47,959 Wait, what are you talking about? 1606 01:03:47,960 --> 01:03:51,316 So Becca gave Larry a hand job in the men's room. 1607 01:03:51,760 --> 01:03:52,954 Goddamn it! 1608 01:03:55,320 --> 01:03:57,117 WOMAN: Ooh, ooh! I'm going next. 1609 01:03:57,760 --> 01:03:59,830 I'm inspired! I'm going next. 1610 01:04:00,320 --> 01:04:03,312 - No, I called it. I called it. - No, no, wait. 1611 01:04:03,760 --> 01:04:06,194 - I'm so happy for you! - MAN: Oh, shit. 1612 01:04:06,400 --> 01:04:08,152 I was about to do my balls! 1613 01:04:08,600 --> 01:04:10,955 Hey! What about the 3D printer? 1614 01:04:11,320 --> 01:04:12,753 - Yes. Yes! - Yeah? 1615 01:04:12,840 --> 01:04:14,193 I'm going first, I'm going first! 1616 01:04:14,560 --> 01:04:15,959 (WOMEN SHRIEKING) 1617 01:04:20,960 --> 01:04:21,960 (WOMEN CHEERING) 1618 01:04:32,960 --> 01:04:33,960 (CAROL GASPS) 1619 01:04:35,920 --> 01:04:37,399 (MUFFLED MUSIC PLAYING) 1620 01:04:39,120 --> 01:04:41,111 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 1621 01:04:50,120 --> 01:04:52,111 Excuse me. Excuse me! 1622 01:04:52,600 --> 01:04:53,749 Excuse me. 1623 01:04:58,920 --> 01:04:59,955 (BELL RINGING) 1624 01:05:02,960 --> 01:05:04,816 CLAY: Raise your hands if you're keeping your jobs! 1625 01:05:04,840 --> 01:05:07,752 Raise your hands if you're gonna get a bonus! 1626 01:05:08,560 --> 01:05:09,834 CAROL: Excuse me. 1627 01:05:09,960 --> 01:05:11,075 Clay? 1628 01:05:11,800 --> 01:05:12,915 Clay! 1629 01:05:13,160 --> 01:05:14,593 Oh, fuck. 1630 01:05:14,960 --> 01:05:16,154 Hey, sis. 1631 01:05:16,520 --> 01:05:17,589 Hey, hey, hey. 1632 01:05:18,320 --> 01:05:19,958 Carol, before you get mad, listen to what I did. 1633 01:05:19,960 --> 01:05:21,075 I said no party! 1634 01:05:21,520 --> 01:05:22,976 That's all I said. All you had to do was nothing, 1635 01:05:23,000 --> 01:05:25,150 and you couldn't even do that! Couldn't even do that! 1636 01:05:25,360 --> 01:05:26,952 Carol, Carol, Carol! 1637 01:05:27,160 --> 01:05:28,376 This is not what you think, okay? 1638 01:05:28,400 --> 01:05:29,594 This is all for a reason. 1639 01:05:29,720 --> 01:05:31,711 (CLAMOURING) 1640 01:05:31,960 --> 01:05:34,190 Listen. We threw this party for Walter Davis, 1641 01:05:34,320 --> 01:05:36,515 and we closed him, he wants to give us his business. 1642 01:05:36,720 --> 01:05:37,755 - We did it. - CLAY: See? 1643 01:05:37,960 --> 01:05:40,040 I'm not a failure. I'm a good boss. The party worked! 1644 01:05:40,960 --> 01:05:42,518 - Walter Davis? - Yeah. 1645 01:05:42,760 --> 01:05:44,360 - Is at this party? - JOSH: That's right. 1646 01:05:44,560 --> 01:05:45,629 Where is he? 1647 01:05:46,000 --> 01:05:48,389 I don't know. Where was he? He was just on the stage. 1648 01:05:48,640 --> 01:05:49,959 Oh... Guys? Guys! 1649 01:05:50,960 --> 01:05:52,109 That's not good. 1650 01:05:52,200 --> 01:05:53,269 (WALTER GROANING) 1651 01:05:53,720 --> 01:05:55,073 Here we go! 1652 01:05:55,280 --> 01:05:56,918 CROWD: (CHANTING) Do it! Do it! Do it! 1653 01:05:56,960 --> 01:05:58,712 No, no, no. Shh! 1654 01:05:58,960 --> 01:06:01,520 - What are you doing? - Hey, that was my idea. 1655 01:06:01,760 --> 01:06:03,910 - Not relevant. - Walter? Hey, buddy! 1656 01:06:03,960 --> 01:06:05,951 Why don't you come down using the stairs? 1657 01:06:06,080 --> 01:06:08,150 No. Clay, it's like you said! 1658 01:06:08,360 --> 01:06:10,954 I want to do something that scares me. To feel 1659 01:06:11,080 --> 01:06:12,149 alive! 1660 01:06:12,600 --> 01:06:13,953 Maybe not right now. 1661 01:06:13,960 --> 01:06:15,712 What did you guys do to him? 1662 01:06:15,920 --> 01:06:17,148 Let go of those lines, buddy! 1663 01:06:17,720 --> 01:06:21,076 I'm the king of I.T. buyers! 1664 01:06:21,960 --> 01:06:23,109 Whoo! 1665 01:06:24,280 --> 01:06:25,793 (CROWD GASPS) 1666 01:06:26,960 --> 01:06:28,313 - Oh! - CAROL: Shit! 1667 01:06:29,320 --> 01:06:30,355 Oh! 1668 01:06:30,520 --> 01:06:31,953 Oh, God. 1669 01:06:32,960 --> 01:06:35,155 (CLICKS TONGUE) So close. 1670 01:06:36,120 --> 01:06:37,633 (GROANING) 1671 01:06:38,840 --> 01:06:39,909 Hey, Walter. 1672 01:06:39,960 --> 01:06:41,056 You were like an eagle up there. 1673 01:06:41,080 --> 01:06:42,798 You were free. You did it. 1674 01:06:42,960 --> 01:06:43,995 Did we win? 1675 01:06:44,360 --> 01:06:45,713 Yeah, we won. 1676 01:06:46,120 --> 01:06:48,111 WALTER: (MUFFLED) Zenotek! Zenotek! 1677 01:06:48,520 --> 01:06:49,794 That poor guy. 1678 01:06:49,960 --> 01:06:50,960 What a day he's had. 1679 01:06:51,080 --> 01:06:52,957 First he gets fired and now this. 1680 01:06:52,960 --> 01:06:54,791 - Wait, what? - Did you say fired? 1681 01:06:54,960 --> 01:06:55,960 Oh, yeah. 1682 01:06:56,080 --> 01:06:57,957 Oh, he got fired at the close of business today. 1683 01:06:57,960 --> 01:06:59,200 He told me, like, two hours ago. 1684 01:06:59,320 --> 01:07:00,958 They shipped his whole branch overseas. 1685 01:07:00,960 --> 01:07:01,949 What? 1686 01:07:01,960 --> 01:07:03,757 I confirmed it with my H.R. Facebook group. 1687 01:07:03,840 --> 01:07:04,955 And they know everything. 1688 01:07:05,520 --> 01:07:08,080 Excuse me. Just to clarify, because I'm detail-oriented. 1689 01:07:08,400 --> 01:07:11,119 So you didn't get a contract with Walter Davis 1690 01:07:11,560 --> 01:07:13,630 because he didn't have a contract to give. 1691 01:07:13,960 --> 01:07:15,496 Carol, before you get mad, here's the thing... 1692 01:07:15,520 --> 01:07:16,560 He wanted to work with us. 1693 01:07:16,720 --> 01:07:17,755 - So... - Clay. Clay! 1694 01:07:17,840 --> 01:07:18,955 Yeah? 1695 01:07:19,200 --> 01:07:20,633 I'm not mad. 1696 01:07:20,920 --> 01:07:21,955 You're not? 1697 01:07:21,960 --> 01:07:24,554 I mean, I was mad when Dad gave you this branch 1698 01:07:24,960 --> 01:07:26,951 just as a reward for taking six years 1699 01:07:26,960 --> 01:07:29,952 to graduate with a degree in... What is it? 1700 01:07:30,600 --> 01:07:33,353 Canadian television theory with concentration in Drake. 1701 01:07:33,800 --> 01:07:35,279 CAROL: But this doesn't make me mad. 1702 01:07:35,760 --> 01:07:37,557 - I feel relieved. - All right. 1703 01:07:37,640 --> 01:07:38,959 - Because it's over. - (CHUCKLES) 1704 01:07:39,960 --> 01:07:42,155 - I'm shutting you down. - Yeah, no, because it's late. 1705 01:07:42,280 --> 01:07:43,395 Allison got a clean-up crew 1706 01:07:43,560 --> 01:07:44,696 - for tomorrow. - CAROL: Uh-huh. 1707 01:07:44,720 --> 01:07:47,712 No, Clay. I'm terminating this branch. 1708 01:07:47,960 --> 01:07:50,269 I'm such a dickhead. I started to like this place, 1709 01:07:50,360 --> 01:07:52,316 and then I get fucked. I get fucked! 1710 01:07:52,560 --> 01:07:54,800 No, no, no. Stop it, stop it. Carol, let's take one beat. 1711 01:07:54,960 --> 01:07:55,949 Look, look, Carol. Carol. 1712 01:07:55,960 --> 01:07:57,160 I fucked up, okay, so blame me. 1713 01:07:57,200 --> 01:07:58,394 But these are good people. 1714 01:07:58,840 --> 01:08:00,800 You can't close this branch. This is Dad's branch. 1715 01:08:00,960 --> 01:08:01,949 Well, you know what? He shouldn't have 1716 01:08:01,960 --> 01:08:03,154 given it to you to fuck up. 1717 01:08:04,800 --> 01:08:08,349 Oh, and, uh, good luck trying to be Mr Fun Guy 1718 01:08:08,800 --> 01:08:10,597 when you have to fire all these people. 1719 01:08:10,720 --> 01:08:11,755 WOMAN: Whoo! 1720 01:08:11,840 --> 01:08:13,159 I'll see you in New York. 1721 01:08:13,280 --> 01:08:14,315 Wait, what? 1722 01:08:14,400 --> 01:08:15,913 Did your little friend not tell you? 1723 01:08:15,960 --> 01:08:16,949 He's coming to work for me. 1724 01:08:16,960 --> 01:08:18,075 Yeah, right. 1725 01:08:18,160 --> 01:08:19,320 I never said yes to that job. 1726 01:08:19,400 --> 01:08:21,311 I don't recall you ever saying no. 1727 01:08:28,080 --> 01:08:29,115 Clay. 1728 01:08:29,360 --> 01:08:31,555 Clay, I never sa... Hey. 1729 01:08:31,960 --> 01:08:32,960 Clay. 1730 01:08:35,760 --> 01:08:38,320 Oh, hey, Clay... You told me you had a two-drink limit. 1731 01:08:39,520 --> 01:08:41,078 Yeah. You're right. 1732 01:08:41,560 --> 01:08:44,757 Now, y'all didn't forget about DJ Calvis! 1733 01:08:44,840 --> 01:08:46,717 - (CLUB MUSIC PLAYING) - Whoo! 1734 01:08:49,400 --> 01:08:51,072 (ALL CHEERING) 1735 01:08:53,960 --> 01:08:56,554 WALTER: (MUFFLED) I want to go back to the party! 1736 01:08:56,640 --> 01:08:57,959 Whoo! 1737 01:08:58,960 --> 01:09:00,712 Hey! What the hell? 1738 01:09:00,960 --> 01:09:02,536 I hired you to pretend to be my girlfriend, 1739 01:09:02,560 --> 01:09:04,596 then you go and give all my co-workers hand jobs? 1740 01:09:04,840 --> 01:09:06,910 You hired me to impress your co-workers, 1741 01:09:06,960 --> 01:09:08,080 and he was pretty impressed. 1742 01:09:08,200 --> 01:09:10,555 - Listen, I want my money back. - Well... 1743 01:09:10,800 --> 01:09:12,153 I'm sorry, what was that? 1744 01:09:12,600 --> 01:09:14,511 I couldn't hear you over my gun. 1745 01:09:14,920 --> 01:09:17,354 - I, um, I want my money back. - Oh. 1746 01:09:17,800 --> 01:09:21,509 I'm sorry. Customer services are not available right now, 1747 01:09:21,760 --> 01:09:23,955 but perhaps I can address your grievance. 1748 01:09:23,960 --> 01:09:26,155 (STAMMERS NERVOUSLY) Um, everything's fine. 1749 01:09:26,360 --> 01:09:27,952 Would you say like a five on Yelp, 1750 01:09:28,000 --> 01:09:29,956 or like positive three? 1751 01:09:29,960 --> 01:09:30,960 Five. 1752 01:09:31,080 --> 01:09:32,308 Five? Alexei! 1753 01:09:33,640 --> 01:09:34,709 NATE: Uh... 1754 01:09:35,720 --> 01:09:36,755 This is so funny. 1755 01:09:36,840 --> 01:09:39,593 Do that thing where you pull his asshole through his face. 1756 01:09:39,800 --> 01:09:40,949 Don't please. Shit! 1757 01:09:40,960 --> 01:09:43,190 Santa's gonna get fucked up tonight! 1758 01:09:43,720 --> 01:09:45,950 (YELLS) Who wants to party with Santa? 1759 01:09:46,000 --> 01:09:47,399 Who the fuck is that? 1760 01:09:47,640 --> 01:09:49,256 SAVANNAH: You know what, that guy is really rich. 1761 01:09:49,280 --> 01:09:50,759 And he's really stupid. 1762 01:09:50,960 --> 01:09:52,816 Well, then what are we doing with Spelling Bee here? 1763 01:09:52,840 --> 01:09:54,353 Get outta here. Go! 1764 01:09:55,120 --> 01:09:57,953 Hey, Santa! Wanna party? 1765 01:10:00,640 --> 01:10:01,755 Yeah. 1766 01:10:02,960 --> 01:10:04,951 Tracey! Tracey! Hey. 1767 01:10:05,800 --> 01:10:06,949 Tracey! 1768 01:10:07,120 --> 01:10:08,269 WOMAN: Hey! 1769 01:10:08,960 --> 01:10:09,995 Tracey? 1770 01:10:10,960 --> 01:10:12,837 Tracey, are you in here? 1771 01:10:13,960 --> 01:10:15,154 Oh, pardon me. 1772 01:10:15,520 --> 01:10:16,555 Hello? 1773 01:10:16,840 --> 01:10:17,909 Oh. 1774 01:10:17,960 --> 01:10:20,190 Josh, it's happening. (EXCLAIMS) 1775 01:10:20,960 --> 01:10:22,154 Good for you. 1776 01:10:23,520 --> 01:10:26,273 Hey, Tracey, which one are you in? 1777 01:10:26,720 --> 01:10:29,951 Hi. Carol offered me a job, but in no way did I say... 1778 01:10:29,960 --> 01:10:31,313 Josh. I get it. 1779 01:10:31,760 --> 01:10:33,398 She offered me a job, too. 1780 01:10:33,960 --> 01:10:35,632 - What? She offered you a job? - Yeah. 1781 01:10:35,800 --> 01:10:36,835 Triple the salary. 1782 01:10:36,960 --> 01:10:38,552 An apartment overlooking Central Park. 1783 01:10:39,000 --> 01:10:40,956 I got double and moving costs. 1784 01:10:41,120 --> 01:10:43,190 (SCOFFS) The real difference is I said no. 1785 01:10:43,400 --> 01:10:44,958 Listen, I'm not fighting with you about this. 1786 01:10:44,960 --> 01:10:46,176 It's silly. I didn't take the job. 1787 01:10:46,200 --> 01:10:48,191 Yeah. But you didn't not take it, either. 1788 01:10:48,600 --> 01:10:50,955 Because you need a safety net. Hey, that's who you are. 1789 01:10:51,160 --> 01:10:53,720 I'm happy for you. You should go to New York. 1790 01:10:54,760 --> 01:10:57,320 Is that what you want? You want me to go to New York? 1791 01:10:57,560 --> 01:10:59,551 There's a real human centipede situation 1792 01:10:59,640 --> 01:11:00,760 happening in the men's room. 1793 01:11:00,960 --> 01:11:02,951 Tracey, please. Don't go. 1794 01:11:03,000 --> 01:11:05,833 Whoa, this is almost the whole marketing department in here. 1795 01:11:06,920 --> 01:11:08,956 - Can I get a drink? - ALAN: Josh, Josh. 1796 01:11:08,960 --> 01:11:10,188 Josh, where's Clay? 1797 01:11:10,400 --> 01:11:12,960 Asswipe loses everybody their jobs and runs. 1798 01:11:13,080 --> 01:11:14,718 How much did he spend on this party? 1799 01:11:14,800 --> 01:11:15,949 He could have just given that money to us. 1800 01:11:15,960 --> 01:11:17,109 Clay sucks. 1801 01:11:17,200 --> 01:11:18,536 We should just kill him, like on that podcast. 1802 01:11:18,560 --> 01:11:19,959 Put the Red Bull down. 1803 01:11:19,960 --> 01:11:21,712 Respectfully, fuck you guys! 1804 01:11:21,960 --> 01:11:23,632 Sorry, that was too much, but... 1805 01:11:23,840 --> 01:11:25,831 Clay cares more about people 1806 01:11:25,960 --> 01:11:27,188 than anyone I've ever met. 1807 01:11:27,640 --> 01:11:29,153 He was gonna pay your bonuses tonight 1808 01:11:29,280 --> 01:11:30,360 with the last of his money. 1809 01:11:30,520 --> 01:11:31,635 What? 1810 01:11:31,760 --> 01:11:33,079 Yeah, he's broke. Clay is broke. 1811 01:11:33,280 --> 01:11:34,349 Who do you think paid 1812 01:11:34,520 --> 01:11:36,112 for that bouncy house in accounting? 1813 01:11:36,320 --> 01:11:38,276 Training that dog to deliver the mail? 1814 01:11:38,720 --> 01:11:41,154 The zip-line? Doughnut Fridays? 1815 01:11:41,280 --> 01:11:42,599 It was all Clay! 1816 01:11:42,800 --> 01:11:43,949 He spent all of his money 1817 01:11:44,080 --> 01:11:45,798 trying to keep this branch afloat. 1818 01:11:45,960 --> 01:11:48,040 And whenever I questioned him about it, he would say, 1819 01:11:48,280 --> 01:11:50,396 "Treat your employees like they're your family 1820 01:11:50,560 --> 01:11:52,040 "and they'll do great things for you." 1821 01:11:52,720 --> 01:11:54,056 You guys, Clay just left to get drugs 1822 01:11:54,080 --> 01:11:55,149 with Becca and her pimp. 1823 01:11:55,360 --> 01:11:56,509 Wait... Who's Becca? 1824 01:11:56,720 --> 01:11:58,597 - Nate's whore. - Hey, that's his girlfriend! 1825 01:11:58,800 --> 01:12:00,279 Nope, she's right. 1826 01:12:00,760 --> 01:12:02,193 Becca's a prostitute. 1827 01:12:02,360 --> 01:12:03,759 (CHUCKLES) Oh, nice. 1828 01:12:03,960 --> 01:12:04,949 Oh. Nope. 1829 01:12:04,960 --> 01:12:06,598 Clay left to go get drugs with a pimp? 1830 01:12:06,800 --> 01:12:08,950 Yes. She has a gun and a serious mood imbalance. 1831 01:12:09,280 --> 01:12:10,508 Fuck. Carol! 1832 01:12:10,600 --> 01:12:11,715 We have a problem. 1833 01:12:11,800 --> 01:12:13,480 Yeah, you have lots of problems. Good luck. 1834 01:12:13,960 --> 01:12:15,393 Carol, excuse me. 1835 01:12:16,160 --> 01:12:17,798 Carol! Listen. 1836 01:12:17,960 --> 01:12:19,996 Clay has gone to get wasted with a psychopath, 1837 01:12:20,200 --> 01:12:22,555 and he's got $300,000 strapped to his chest. 1838 01:12:22,920 --> 01:12:25,070 Ooh, that really does sound like a big problem... 1839 01:12:25,520 --> 01:12:26,589 For Clay. 1840 01:12:26,720 --> 01:12:27,760 You already lost your dad. 1841 01:12:27,840 --> 01:12:29,512 If you lose Clay, you'll have no one. 1842 01:12:29,720 --> 01:12:31,950 Trust me, that's not a place you want to be. 1843 01:12:31,960 --> 01:12:32,960 (ELEVATOR DINGS) 1844 01:12:33,280 --> 01:12:34,793 - I don't care. - TRACEY: What? 1845 01:12:35,600 --> 01:12:38,160 - Oh, boy. This woman... - What is wrong with her? 1846 01:12:39,920 --> 01:12:41,069 Really? 1847 01:12:41,280 --> 01:12:43,077 Guys! I don't know what to do. 1848 01:12:43,160 --> 01:12:44,400 Clay's not picking up his phone. 1849 01:12:44,760 --> 01:12:46,512 I think I can locate him. 1850 01:12:47,120 --> 01:12:48,599 This is so amazing to me, guys. 1851 01:12:48,720 --> 01:12:50,240 We can actually connect with, you know. 1852 01:12:50,320 --> 01:12:51,958 Yeah. Yeah. There we go. 1853 01:12:51,960 --> 01:12:53,075 - Amazing. - Absolutely. 1854 01:12:53,160 --> 01:12:55,320 They're full of shit, okay? They're not your soulmates. 1855 01:12:55,360 --> 01:12:56,634 They just hacked your Facebook. 1856 01:12:56,960 --> 01:12:59,269 - That's horseshit! - Unbelievable. So uncool. 1857 01:12:59,360 --> 01:13:00,640 - Hey, wait! - No, no, no, girls! 1858 01:13:00,960 --> 01:13:03,269 WENDY: I knew you didn't like the Gilmore Girls. 1859 01:13:03,600 --> 01:13:05,056 Okay, I'm gonna need both of you assclowns 1860 01:13:05,080 --> 01:13:07,071 to hack into Clay's phone so we can find him. 1861 01:13:07,320 --> 01:13:09,056 (SCOFFS) Come on, why would we help you, dude, seriously? 1862 01:13:09,080 --> 01:13:10,718 Yeah, why would we help you? 1863 01:13:10,960 --> 01:13:13,633 Because I'm your fucking boss, and I'm telling you to. 1864 01:13:13,960 --> 01:13:16,633 - He can't touch him! - I'll allow it. 1865 01:13:26,600 --> 01:13:29,956 Ooh, there's a car on fire. Did the Bears win? 1866 01:13:30,960 --> 01:13:32,757 What are you looking at? 1867 01:13:32,840 --> 01:13:34,592 (CHEERS AND LAUGHTER) 1868 01:13:34,840 --> 01:13:37,149 Excuse me. Excuse me. Oh, Jesus. 1869 01:13:38,720 --> 01:13:41,518 Hey, if everybody's fired, 1870 01:13:41,920 --> 01:13:44,593 let's burn this place to the ground, baby! 1871 01:13:44,720 --> 01:13:45,789 (ALL CHEERING) 1872 01:13:45,920 --> 01:13:47,956 Hey! Hey, what department are you in? 1873 01:13:48,080 --> 01:13:49,513 I don't work here. 1874 01:13:49,800 --> 01:13:52,075 Let's do this, baby! Who's with me? 1875 01:13:53,800 --> 01:13:54,949 - Fuck. - (GLASS SHATTERS) 1876 01:13:56,840 --> 01:13:58,114 (INDISTINCT CHATTERING) 1877 01:14:02,400 --> 01:14:04,789 If I tell y'all one more time to back up, 1878 01:14:04,920 --> 01:14:06,956 it's gonna be a problem. I'm not playing with y'all! 1879 01:14:06,960 --> 01:14:08,376 Carla! Carla! I need you to go upstairs 1880 01:14:08,400 --> 01:14:10,136 and lock this shit down. We gotta go help Clay. 1881 01:14:10,160 --> 01:14:11,296 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, fuck that! 1882 01:14:11,320 --> 01:14:13,959 The security guard was the first one to go in Die Hard. 1883 01:14:14,120 --> 01:14:16,998 Carla, this is the one you knew would come. 1884 01:14:17,320 --> 01:14:18,548 Be our John McClane. 1885 01:14:19,120 --> 01:14:20,189 I'm on it. 1886 01:14:21,640 --> 01:14:22,755 Hey. 1887 01:14:22,920 --> 01:14:23,955 In case it gets dark. 1888 01:14:26,280 --> 01:14:27,998 Who wants to get tased? 1889 01:14:29,960 --> 01:14:31,791 Okay, where's your car? 1890 01:14:31,960 --> 01:14:33,936 I took a cab. I thought we were gonna take your car. 1891 01:14:33,960 --> 01:14:34,960 No, I took the El. 1892 01:14:35,120 --> 01:14:36,394 (TYRES SCREECH) 1893 01:14:37,080 --> 01:14:38,638 Let's go get our Santa. 1894 01:14:38,760 --> 01:14:39,795 - Great! - Oh. 1895 01:14:39,920 --> 01:14:42,912 Come on! No, don't. It's a lift and pull. 1896 01:14:43,080 --> 01:14:44,576 You're jerking it! Jesus Christ, let me do it. 1897 01:14:44,600 --> 01:14:45,715 - I'm pulling out. - Oh! 1898 01:14:45,800 --> 01:14:47,597 All right. Yeah, it's... It's locked. 1899 01:14:47,960 --> 01:14:48,960 Thanks. 1900 01:14:50,000 --> 01:14:51,638 - Get in. Come on. - (JOSH GRUNTING) 1901 01:14:53,080 --> 01:14:54,559 What'd you get all over your seats? 1902 01:14:54,800 --> 01:14:55,949 Oh, no, it's from the parrots. 1903 01:14:55,960 --> 01:14:57,598 Relax, it's not poop. It's some... 1904 01:14:57,800 --> 01:14:59,916 It's genital secretions. It's mating season. 1905 01:14:59,960 --> 01:15:01,916 - Oh. - Should be dry. 1906 01:15:01,960 --> 01:15:04,110 Okay. Nate says Clay's on the South Side. 1907 01:15:04,200 --> 01:15:05,349 (CAR DOOR OPENS) 1908 01:15:05,960 --> 01:15:08,918 He is not gonna fuck this up for me. 1909 01:15:09,280 --> 01:15:11,510 The board will vote me CEO. 1910 01:15:11,720 --> 01:15:14,280 That is happening. So let's just do this, okay? 1911 01:15:15,760 --> 01:15:17,955 - Can this thing handle snow? - Oh, please. It's a Kia. 1912 01:15:18,120 --> 01:15:19,758 It's what God would drive. 1913 01:15:20,320 --> 01:15:21,639 (TYRES SCREECHING) 1914 01:15:28,120 --> 01:15:29,553 (HORNS HONKING) 1915 01:15:33,000 --> 01:15:34,115 (SNORTING) 1916 01:15:34,200 --> 01:15:35,519 Oh! 1917 01:15:35,600 --> 01:15:37,955 Guys, you know, the thing is, I told everybody 1918 01:15:37,960 --> 01:15:39,800 they were gonna be okay, but then they weren't. 1919 01:15:39,920 --> 01:15:42,718 And so, I broke a Christmas promise, which... 1920 01:15:43,720 --> 01:15:45,358 Is basically the worst thing you can do. 1921 01:15:45,920 --> 01:15:48,070 I mean, it is so stressful being the boss. 1922 01:15:48,160 --> 01:15:49,593 Nobody ever talks about that. 1923 01:15:49,920 --> 01:15:50,955 No. No, not at all. 1924 01:15:50,960 --> 01:15:51,949 And if you want to complain about it, 1925 01:15:51,960 --> 01:15:54,076 everybody's like, "Oh, boo-hoo you, rich Santa." 1926 01:15:54,320 --> 01:15:55,639 Yeah, no one gives a shit! 1927 01:15:55,840 --> 01:15:56,955 I can't call people up and be like, 1928 01:15:56,960 --> 01:15:58,712 "Oh! I'm having a bad pimp day." 1929 01:15:58,920 --> 01:15:59,955 See, you understand. 1930 01:16:00,080 --> 01:16:03,277 I get clients calling me 24/7. Middle of the night, 3:00 AM: 1931 01:16:03,520 --> 01:16:04,714 Brring, brring, brring! 1932 01:16:04,920 --> 01:16:06,831 "Hey, I need anal, like yesterday." 1933 01:16:06,960 --> 01:16:07,949 Yeah, the same with me! 1934 01:16:07,960 --> 01:16:09,600 Except instead of anal, it's data storage. 1935 01:16:09,800 --> 01:16:11,791 Or, "I'm, like, chairing a PTA meeting. 1936 01:16:11,920 --> 01:16:13,576 "Can you have someone blow me in the gymnasium?" 1937 01:16:13,600 --> 01:16:14,953 Yeah, absolutely. It never ends. 1938 01:16:15,160 --> 01:16:17,958 Or, like, "Hey, your girl just stabbed me in the leg 1939 01:16:17,960 --> 01:16:19,640 "and now I'm bleeding out in the alleyway." 1940 01:16:19,960 --> 01:16:21,712 I don't relate to that as much. 1941 01:16:21,920 --> 01:16:24,070 It's mental, right? How much people lean on you? 1942 01:16:24,280 --> 01:16:26,794 And my sister wanted me to be a failure, 1943 01:16:26,920 --> 01:16:28,911 and I was, so she's not gonna let that go. 1944 01:16:28,960 --> 01:16:31,520 That's the problem of working with family, though. 1945 01:16:31,840 --> 01:16:34,070 - Yeah. - You can never escape them. 1946 01:16:34,520 --> 01:16:36,556 You can never escape them. 1947 01:16:36,960 --> 01:16:38,296 But you know what, you're gonna be fine, man. 1948 01:16:38,320 --> 01:16:39,355 You know why? 1949 01:16:39,520 --> 01:16:41,272 'Cause you've got all that money, honey. 1950 01:16:41,720 --> 01:16:43,950 Yeah, that's the thing. I don't, actually. 1951 01:16:44,080 --> 01:16:45,911 I spent it all trying to keep the branch open. 1952 01:16:45,960 --> 01:16:48,599 All I have left is just $300,000 cash. 1953 01:16:48,960 --> 01:16:50,154 You have 300 grand. 1954 01:16:50,360 --> 01:16:51,816 Oh, my gosh. Whenever I'm that low in my account, 1955 01:16:51,840 --> 01:16:53,353 I'm just like, "Kill me." 1956 01:16:53,720 --> 01:16:55,073 Uh, so where is the money? 1957 01:16:55,280 --> 01:16:58,716 - It's on my person. It's safe. - It's in your personal safe? 1958 01:16:59,800 --> 01:17:01,896 JOSH: Okay, we're close. No, no, this is it! This is... 1959 01:17:01,920 --> 01:17:03,797 There's a spot! Right there. You passed it! 1960 01:17:03,920 --> 01:17:04,955 (TYRES SCREECH) 1961 01:17:05,960 --> 01:17:07,791 Careful. Easy. 1962 01:17:09,840 --> 01:17:10,909 Oh! 1963 01:17:11,600 --> 01:17:12,953 That's how you park a minivan. 1964 01:17:13,160 --> 01:17:14,718 - CAROL: Jeez! - Very impressive. 1965 01:17:14,920 --> 01:17:17,593 Okay, Nate, are you sure about this address here? 1966 01:17:17,800 --> 01:17:19,950 Yes. 92765 Union Street. 1967 01:17:20,560 --> 01:17:23,120 That's where the pin is. Uh, Red Square Club. 1968 01:17:23,600 --> 01:17:26,797 Brian, I can see you fucking on my desk! 1969 01:17:26,920 --> 01:17:28,194 (CROWD CHEERING) 1970 01:17:29,600 --> 01:17:30,794 (SIGHS) Uh... 1971 01:17:31,640 --> 01:17:33,835 - I'll go see what's going on. - Okay. 1972 01:17:34,600 --> 01:17:35,919 This is it. 1973 01:17:38,320 --> 01:17:39,389 Oh, my God. 1974 01:17:42,000 --> 01:17:44,195 Well, maybe he deserved it. Who knows? 1975 01:17:44,400 --> 01:17:45,753 Here we go, guys. Come on. 1976 01:17:45,960 --> 01:17:48,280 Quickly? Because I don't know what's gonna happen in there. 1977 01:17:48,640 --> 01:17:50,949 Last year I filed a sexual harassment complaint 1978 01:17:51,000 --> 01:17:52,194 against myself. 1979 01:17:52,320 --> 01:17:53,958 - Against yourself. - Mmm-hmm. 1980 01:17:54,960 --> 01:17:58,555 Andrew, in the copy room, he was changing the toner. 1981 01:17:58,960 --> 01:18:01,190 And I pretended to drop something on the ground 1982 01:18:01,840 --> 01:18:03,193 so that I could bend over 1983 01:18:03,320 --> 01:18:05,959 and graze his butt with my nose. 1984 01:18:05,960 --> 01:18:06,960 And I did. 1985 01:18:09,720 --> 01:18:10,948 (SIGHS) 1986 01:18:11,960 --> 01:18:14,315 - That doesn't seem that bad. - And then I said, 1987 01:18:14,640 --> 01:18:18,633 "If you don't fuck me, buster, I will ruin you." 1988 01:18:18,960 --> 01:18:20,154 Hmm. That's harassment. 1989 01:18:20,800 --> 01:18:22,153 That's why he quit. 1990 01:18:22,560 --> 01:18:24,949 You seem like you feel better. Here we go. 1991 01:18:25,000 --> 01:18:26,115 Wait! No, guys, 1992 01:18:26,360 --> 01:18:28,271 we can't go in there looking like this. 1993 01:18:31,000 --> 01:18:32,069 Hey, Carol? 1994 01:18:32,960 --> 01:18:34,313 Why don't you give me your coat? 1995 01:18:48,600 --> 01:18:51,797 - How we doing tonight? - Private party. Members only. 1996 01:18:52,960 --> 01:18:54,400 (STAMMERING) Well, I'm a businessman. 1997 01:18:54,560 --> 01:18:55,959 These are my business ladies 1998 01:18:56,200 --> 01:18:58,191 of the night. You hear what I'm saying to you? 1999 01:18:58,640 --> 01:18:59,789 They only come out at night. 2000 01:18:59,920 --> 01:19:01,280 - Okay. Okay. - Mostly for parties. 2001 01:19:02,360 --> 01:19:03,395 (SPEAKING RUSSIAN) 2002 01:19:08,360 --> 01:19:10,510 MARY: It's a beautiful language. 2003 01:19:11,840 --> 01:19:12,955 (DOOR OPENS) 2004 01:19:12,960 --> 01:19:14,712 - Nice, Carol. - (SPEAKS RUSSIAN) 2005 01:19:15,800 --> 01:19:17,995 - (INDISTINCT CHATTERING) - (HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING) 2006 01:19:20,360 --> 01:19:21,952 Seems like an appropriate setting 2007 01:19:22,000 --> 01:19:23,592 for an emotional rock bottom. 2008 01:19:26,000 --> 01:19:27,956 Oh, there's a back room. 2009 01:19:37,720 --> 01:19:38,755 Hi. 2010 01:19:38,840 --> 01:19:41,070 How you doing? Have you seen a guy in a Santa suit? 2011 01:19:41,280 --> 01:19:43,271 Fuck you. I don't tell you anything. 2012 01:19:43,520 --> 01:19:44,953 - All right, now listen here. - Nuh-uh-uh. 2013 01:19:44,960 --> 01:19:46,632 - (MAN GRUNTS) - (TRACEY GASPS) 2014 01:19:48,080 --> 01:19:49,957 - (BONE CRACKS) - (GRUNTING) 2015 01:19:50,200 --> 01:19:52,395 Hi. Me again. Where's Santa? 2016 01:19:52,760 --> 01:19:53,988 Fuck you. (GRUNTS) 2017 01:19:54,720 --> 01:19:56,950 You do not want to die at the hands of Lululemon here. 2018 01:19:57,360 --> 01:19:59,056 It'd be real embarrassing. You're a large guy, 2019 01:19:59,080 --> 01:20:01,594 and she's made of nothing but salad and Smartwater. 2020 01:20:02,920 --> 01:20:03,955 (STRAINING) Nope, no tap outs. 2021 01:20:03,960 --> 01:20:04,960 (GRUNTING) 2022 01:20:05,080 --> 01:20:06,718 Back door? Thank you. 2023 01:20:06,960 --> 01:20:08,359 - Bitch. - What? 2024 01:20:08,800 --> 01:20:09,835 (GRUNTS) 2025 01:20:10,000 --> 01:20:11,115 Was that too much? 2026 01:20:11,320 --> 01:20:13,117 - Just a little. - I loved it. 2027 01:20:13,400 --> 01:20:14,549 JOSH: Let's go. 2028 01:20:14,960 --> 01:20:16,791 - Hey! - Oh, God. 2029 01:20:16,960 --> 01:20:18,359 Oh. Go. I got this. Go, go. 2030 01:20:18,600 --> 01:20:19,953 - Okay. Enjoy. - (EXHALES) 2031 01:20:21,600 --> 01:20:23,272 Come on, let's party. 2032 01:20:24,400 --> 01:20:27,836 CLAY: Vin Diesel ain't got shit on me! 2033 01:20:27,960 --> 01:20:28,995 JOSH: Clay! 2034 01:20:30,080 --> 01:20:31,638 What did he say? 2035 01:20:31,760 --> 01:20:32,896 I think I know where they're going. 2036 01:20:32,920 --> 01:20:34,000 Let's get the car. Come on! 2037 01:20:35,360 --> 01:20:36,759 (BOTH GRUNTING) 2038 01:20:37,960 --> 01:20:39,279 Let's go! 2039 01:20:41,960 --> 01:20:42,960 Excuse me. Excuse me. 2040 01:20:43,000 --> 01:20:45,275 Hey, Mary? Mary, get in the car! 2041 01:20:46,960 --> 01:20:48,359 Damn it. 2042 01:20:58,360 --> 01:20:59,588 (ROCK MUSIC PLAYING) 2043 01:21:01,400 --> 01:21:05,109 # God rest ye merry gentlemen 2044 01:21:05,760 --> 01:21:08,638 # Let nothing you dismay 2045 01:21:09,960 --> 01:21:13,157 # Remember Christ the Saviour 2046 01:21:13,800 --> 01:21:16,837 # Was born on Christmas Day 2047 01:21:17,640 --> 01:21:21,394 # To save us all from Satan's power 2048 01:21:21,840 --> 01:21:24,354 # When we were gone astray 2049 01:21:26,120 --> 01:21:30,716 # Tidings of comfort and joy 2050 01:21:31,000 --> 01:21:32,513 # Comfort and joy 2051 01:21:32,960 --> 01:21:36,748 # Oh, tidings of comfort 2052 01:21:36,960 --> 01:21:40,316 # Comfort and joy! # 2053 01:21:57,960 --> 01:21:58,960 (TYRES SC REEC H) 2054 01:21:59,760 --> 01:22:02,320 - Oh, God. - Yeah, I fucked up. I did. 2055 01:22:02,760 --> 01:22:03,954 I lost a lot of people's jobs. 2056 01:22:03,960 --> 01:22:05,837 I hurt a lot of good people tonight. 2057 01:22:05,960 --> 01:22:07,359 Oh, yeah, totally. Cool story. 2058 01:22:07,520 --> 01:22:08,776 Are we coming up to your apartment building 2059 01:22:08,800 --> 01:22:10,040 on the left, to the right, or... 2060 01:22:10,200 --> 01:22:11,440 We're not going to my apartment. 2061 01:22:11,560 --> 01:22:12,629 Uh, yes, we are. 2062 01:22:12,840 --> 01:22:14,616 We are going to your apartment to go to the safe. 2063 01:22:14,640 --> 01:22:16,631 There's nothing safe about what we're gonna do. 2064 01:22:16,960 --> 01:22:18,320 Yeah, it's like you said, you know. 2065 01:22:18,360 --> 01:22:20,749 We need to escape them, so that's what we're gonna do. 2066 01:22:20,960 --> 01:22:22,552 - Red light. - TRINA: What the fuck 2067 01:22:22,760 --> 01:22:23,954 are you talking about? There's a red light! 2068 01:22:23,960 --> 01:22:24,949 That's a red light! 2069 01:22:24,960 --> 01:22:26,359 (TYRES SCREECHING) 2070 01:22:27,600 --> 01:22:29,158 - Oh, yeah! (LAUGHS) - (GASPS) 2071 01:22:29,840 --> 01:22:32,308 We go right through 'em. They're just suggestions. 2072 01:22:35,640 --> 01:22:37,176 - Can you look at that fuck? - Oh, the fucking windshield. 2073 01:22:37,200 --> 01:22:38,315 Are you kidding? Not now! 2074 01:22:38,400 --> 01:22:40,440 That's the A.C., Josh. We don't need that right now. 2075 01:22:40,600 --> 01:22:41,635 What about that? 2076 01:22:41,760 --> 01:22:42,936 Oh. No, that's the recirculating mode. 2077 01:22:42,960 --> 01:22:45,952 How am I gonna run Zenotek without this Genius Bar? 2078 01:22:45,960 --> 01:22:47,136 You can get up here and help if you'd like. 2079 01:22:47,160 --> 01:22:48,559 Okay, my seat's getting hotter. 2080 01:22:48,840 --> 01:22:49,955 Mary, why do you even have a minivan? 2081 01:22:49,960 --> 01:22:51,996 - You don't have kids. - I buy in bulk! 2082 01:22:52,560 --> 01:22:53,776 - TRACEY: Oh! It's them! - Yeah. 2083 01:22:53,800 --> 01:22:55,056 Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, good eyes. 2084 01:22:55,080 --> 01:22:56,957 Oh, God! What's that smell? 2085 01:22:56,960 --> 01:22:58,120 I'm gonna be honest with you, 2086 01:22:58,160 --> 01:22:59,576 I have been farting this entire time. 2087 01:22:59,600 --> 01:23:00,953 (TYRES SCREECHING) 2088 01:23:03,520 --> 01:23:04,953 (GASPING) Oh, my gosh. 2089 01:23:05,080 --> 01:23:06,149 Okay, you know what, 2090 01:23:06,280 --> 01:23:07,952 take me to your personal safe right now. 2091 01:23:08,160 --> 01:23:09,640 We don't need money where we're going. 2092 01:23:09,720 --> 01:23:10,948 - Where are we going? - For glory. 2093 01:23:10,960 --> 01:23:12,075 The Clark Street Bridge. 2094 01:23:12,280 --> 01:23:13,554 This time of night it'll be up. 2095 01:23:13,640 --> 01:23:15,949 We're gonna jump the bridge and never look back. 2096 01:23:17,560 --> 01:23:18,959 (BELL DINGING) 2097 01:23:23,160 --> 01:23:24,200 Okay, new game. Pull over. 2098 01:23:24,320 --> 01:23:25,536 Just pull over or I'll tuck and roll. 2099 01:23:25,560 --> 01:23:26,936 - No, no, no. Trina, Trina. - Just slow down. 2100 01:23:26,960 --> 01:23:28,776 Trina, I've been thinking about this for a while. 2101 01:23:28,800 --> 01:23:29,915 We can make this jump. 2102 01:23:29,960 --> 01:23:30,949 I let a lot of people down, 2103 01:23:30,960 --> 01:23:32,518 but I'm not gonna let you guys down. 2104 01:23:32,600 --> 01:23:34,955 We're gonna escape our families and become anew! 2105 01:23:35,160 --> 01:23:36,354 Pull over right now. 2106 01:23:36,520 --> 01:23:38,078 Or I shoot you in the fucking brain. 2107 01:23:38,280 --> 01:23:39,599 Well, you can't shoot him, 2108 01:23:39,720 --> 01:23:41,278 because then he's gonna crash the car. 2109 01:23:41,520 --> 01:23:43,590 Really, Savannah? Really? 2110 01:23:43,800 --> 01:23:44,949 Why don't you put it in an email 2111 01:23:44,960 --> 01:23:46,096 and c.c. everyone, all right? 2112 01:23:46,120 --> 01:23:47,917 Make double sure everyone got it. 2113 01:23:48,600 --> 01:23:50,795 You know what, you should start a podcast, Savannah, 2114 01:23:50,920 --> 01:23:53,070 called "Savannah Says Fucking Stupid Things Out Loud." 2115 01:23:55,160 --> 01:23:56,309 (HORN HONKING) 2116 01:23:59,960 --> 01:24:00,960 CAROL: Clay! 2117 01:24:01,080 --> 01:24:02,593 JOSH: Clay! Hey, listen, I'm sorry! 2118 01:24:02,720 --> 01:24:03,994 I was never gonna take that job. 2119 01:24:04,320 --> 01:24:05,389 Not good enough! 2120 01:24:05,640 --> 01:24:07,073 Do not jump that bridge. 2121 01:24:07,280 --> 01:24:09,953 I have to do this. Carol's right, I'm a fuckup! 2122 01:24:09,960 --> 01:24:11,279 (HORN HONKING) 2123 01:24:11,360 --> 01:24:12,395 Shit! 2124 01:24:18,080 --> 01:24:20,719 Pull over, you fucking idiot! 2125 01:24:20,960 --> 01:24:23,349 Or, the nice supportive version? 2126 01:24:23,720 --> 01:24:26,075 Pull over, fucking idiot! 2127 01:24:26,200 --> 01:24:27,315 No. 2128 01:24:27,520 --> 01:24:29,078 Hey, tell him to pull over, lady! 2129 01:24:29,280 --> 01:24:33,273 Look. Pull over! Pull over! Pull over! It doesn't work! 2130 01:24:33,720 --> 01:24:36,359 - It's not working. - None of it works! 2131 01:24:36,600 --> 01:24:37,794 Hey, Clay, 2132 01:24:37,960 --> 01:24:40,713 you jump that bridge, I'm going with you. 2133 01:24:40,920 --> 01:24:41,955 What? No! 2134 01:24:42,160 --> 01:24:43,400 - Yes, I am. - (BOTH PROTESTING) 2135 01:24:43,520 --> 01:24:45,954 Did you say hit it at 80 or 90, Vin Diesel? 2136 01:24:46,640 --> 01:24:48,949 - Put it into sport. - Here we go. 2137 01:24:51,720 --> 01:24:53,517 Josh, I'm sorry that I said you were safe. 2138 01:24:53,920 --> 01:24:55,797 - You don't have to do this. - Yes, I do. 2139 01:24:55,960 --> 01:24:57,916 Josh, what are you doing, man? 2140 01:24:57,960 --> 01:24:59,916 You go, we all go! 2141 01:25:00,960 --> 01:25:01,960 Fuck. 2142 01:25:02,840 --> 01:25:04,831 I love America! 2143 01:25:10,000 --> 01:25:12,833 I am not gonna die in a minivan. 2144 01:25:13,200 --> 01:25:15,760 Hey, hey, hey! Get off the wheel! 2145 01:25:16,120 --> 01:25:18,953 (CHRISTMAS SONG PLAYS) 2146 01:25:18,960 --> 01:25:20,279 (ALL SCREAMING) 2147 01:25:34,400 --> 01:25:35,515 (SCREAMING) 2148 01:25:37,520 --> 01:25:38,714 (LAUGHING) 2149 01:25:53,960 --> 01:25:55,951 (ALL GROANING) 2150 01:25:59,960 --> 01:26:02,633 We could've made that bridge, panty hose. 2151 01:26:04,320 --> 01:26:05,639 Where's Clay? 2152 01:26:13,320 --> 01:26:15,959 It was on your person. 2153 01:26:16,320 --> 01:26:17,389 (YELLS) 2154 01:26:21,920 --> 01:26:23,638 What did we hit? 2155 01:26:23,960 --> 01:26:25,951 The collision severed the primary fibre line, 2156 01:26:26,080 --> 01:26:27,638 as well as its backup, 2157 01:26:27,840 --> 01:26:29,751 paralyzing Internet, DSL, 2158 01:26:29,840 --> 01:26:31,956 and cellular communications citywide. 2159 01:26:32,200 --> 01:26:34,350 So if you haven't ordered your holiday gifts early, 2160 01:26:34,520 --> 01:26:36,636 you may not be able to order them at all. 2161 01:26:36,960 --> 01:26:38,951 I quit, by the way! 2162 01:26:39,000 --> 01:26:41,389 You quit what? What, Savannah? What'd you quit? 2163 01:26:41,640 --> 01:26:43,153 Just a couple of normal girls here. 2164 01:26:43,520 --> 01:26:44,953 CAROL: Move it, move it! Clear! 2165 01:26:45,120 --> 01:26:46,553 MAN: The Internet's down. 2166 01:26:46,960 --> 01:26:48,313 My brother needs a doctor! 2167 01:26:48,560 --> 01:26:49,959 Ma'am, you're gonna need to wait your turn. 2168 01:26:49,960 --> 01:26:51,736 Will you find someone that will help my brother? 2169 01:26:51,760 --> 01:26:53,955 All of you, just back up! 2170 01:26:54,200 --> 01:26:57,317 Back up. Make a single file line against that wall 2171 01:26:57,560 --> 01:27:00,950 and she will be with you when she has a fucking minute! 2172 01:27:01,960 --> 01:27:03,960 - (LAUGHTER AND CHATTER) - (CHRISTMAS SONG PLAYING) 2173 01:27:09,360 --> 01:27:12,557 You know, you trying to jump that bridge was really... 2174 01:27:12,800 --> 01:27:14,950 Brave? That what you were going for? 2175 01:27:15,960 --> 01:27:17,712 No. Stupid. I was gonna say stupid. 2176 01:27:17,800 --> 01:27:19,756 No. I... I would say brave. 2177 01:27:19,840 --> 01:27:21,796 - A little brave. - Yeah. Hi. 2178 01:27:21,960 --> 01:27:23,951 - Hey, how is he? - Oh. He's fine. 2179 01:27:24,000 --> 01:27:25,911 In fact, the doctor said that the crash 2180 01:27:25,960 --> 01:27:28,394 actually fixed a previous fracture. 2181 01:27:28,960 --> 01:27:30,791 He's got... He's got this gift. 2182 01:27:30,920 --> 01:27:32,114 I don't... I don't get it. 2183 01:27:32,360 --> 01:27:34,555 - Oh. Thank God he's okay. - Oh, well... 2184 01:27:34,960 --> 01:27:37,110 So, maybe you'll reconsider firing everyone? 2185 01:27:37,400 --> 01:27:39,789 Once it gets out there that we caused this crash, 2186 01:27:39,920 --> 01:27:40,989 the board finds out, 2187 01:27:41,320 --> 01:27:43,311 my ass is fired. No one has a job. 2188 01:27:43,760 --> 01:27:45,910 - So... - Carol? 2189 01:27:46,000 --> 01:27:48,275 Is now a good time to exchange insurance information 2190 01:27:48,360 --> 01:27:49,634 for the car stuff? 2191 01:27:49,840 --> 01:27:52,638 It's not. You know, we would've made it, by the way. 2192 01:27:52,840 --> 01:27:54,956 - At the speed you were going? - Comfortably. 2193 01:27:55,080 --> 01:27:57,116 Please. To make that jump, with that incline, 2194 01:27:57,200 --> 01:27:59,156 you would have had to at least been going... 2195 01:27:59,360 --> 01:28:00,952 - 110. - 95. 2196 01:28:02,560 --> 01:28:03,959 No, 95. 2197 01:28:04,640 --> 01:28:07,200 - It's simple math. - Oh. Well, okay. 2198 01:28:07,400 --> 01:28:09,277 It might be simple on paper, 2199 01:28:09,360 --> 01:28:12,397 but you're forgetting the wind, the weight of the Kia, 2200 01:28:12,960 --> 01:28:14,632 the four of us, 2201 01:28:15,200 --> 01:28:16,315 bird cages... 2202 01:28:16,600 --> 01:28:19,797 I prefer to call them bird condos, and so do the birds. 2203 01:28:20,160 --> 01:28:22,754 Point being, you have to adjust your numbers 2204 01:28:22,840 --> 01:28:25,149 to account for real world conditions. 2205 01:28:25,760 --> 01:28:28,957 Simple. Or did they not teach you that in hacker college? 2206 01:28:29,160 --> 01:28:30,275 You're right. 2207 01:28:30,400 --> 01:28:31,515 Thank you. 2208 01:28:32,000 --> 01:28:33,319 No, not about that. 2209 01:28:33,400 --> 01:28:35,197 Although hacker college does sound awesome. 2210 01:28:35,960 --> 01:28:38,110 It's AnywAir. I've been doing it wrong. 2211 01:28:39,400 --> 01:28:40,515 (EXHALES) 2212 01:28:40,600 --> 01:28:42,830 I... I've been treating the power grid 2213 01:28:42,960 --> 01:28:44,712 as if it was a seamless source of Internet. 2214 01:28:44,960 --> 01:28:47,269 It's not seamless, it's messy. It... 2215 01:28:48,160 --> 01:28:49,957 But if there was an opportunity 2216 01:28:50,960 --> 01:28:52,951 where the conditions were just right. 2217 01:28:53,720 --> 01:28:56,757 If we were inside of a vacuum. If it was still. 2218 01:28:57,160 --> 01:28:58,957 Oh, my God. 2219 01:28:59,160 --> 01:29:01,000 - An Internet blackout. - An Internet blackout! 2220 01:29:01,120 --> 01:29:02,256 Let's get you back to the office. 2221 01:29:02,280 --> 01:29:03,315 - Yes! - Come on. 2222 01:29:03,960 --> 01:29:06,076 I'm gonna text you that claims form, yeah? 2223 01:29:06,200 --> 01:29:07,269 (STAMMERS) 2224 01:29:14,960 --> 01:29:17,952 - I'm sorry, Mary. - MARY: Go save the company! 2225 01:29:43,960 --> 01:29:45,359 Mum? 2226 01:29:45,520 --> 01:29:46,919 (TELEPHONE RINGING) 2227 01:29:46,960 --> 01:29:48,154 Dad? 2228 01:29:50,000 --> 01:29:51,069 (ELEVATOR DINGS) 2229 01:29:51,920 --> 01:29:53,512 (WATER TRICKLING) 2230 01:30:02,520 --> 01:30:03,555 (WOMEN LAUGHING) 2231 01:30:11,600 --> 01:30:12,635 Oh, my... 2232 01:30:12,760 --> 01:30:13,829 (DOOR OPENS) 2233 01:30:15,320 --> 01:30:16,912 Oh. Hey. 2234 01:30:17,160 --> 01:30:18,195 Hey. 2235 01:30:21,960 --> 01:30:22,995 Carla! 2236 01:30:23,120 --> 01:30:24,394 - Wassup? - Morning. 2237 01:30:24,600 --> 01:30:26,955 I tased as many as I could, but... 2238 01:30:27,360 --> 01:30:29,680 Yeah. Well, I actually thought it was gonna be worse, so... 2239 01:30:29,960 --> 01:30:30,960 Uh-uh! 2240 01:30:31,080 --> 01:30:33,719 I see you, bitch! Uh-uh, bitch, I see you! 2241 01:30:33,960 --> 01:30:35,552 Your office was locked, right? 2242 01:30:35,640 --> 01:30:36,914 Yeah, of course. 2243 01:30:37,080 --> 01:30:39,833 - What... What's happening? - Did you guys find Clay? 2244 01:30:48,960 --> 01:30:50,757 - Sorry. Old habit. - Sure. 2245 01:30:51,080 --> 01:30:53,514 Okay. So, what... You're writing an algorithm 2246 01:30:53,600 --> 01:30:55,636 that can respond to the grid in real time? 2247 01:30:55,840 --> 01:30:57,398 - That's gonna take... - Done. 2248 01:30:58,720 --> 01:30:59,755 Forever. 2249 01:31:00,160 --> 01:31:02,355 Nate! How's that server bank? 2250 01:31:02,840 --> 01:31:04,796 Still covered in beer! Five minutes! 2251 01:31:04,960 --> 01:31:06,598 I hope it's beer. 2252 01:31:07,960 --> 01:31:08,995 Hey. 2253 01:31:09,120 --> 01:31:10,394 Uh, about what happened... 2254 01:31:10,560 --> 01:31:11,959 All good. Everyone has their thing. 2255 01:31:11,960 --> 01:31:14,076 I know it seems weird, but I just crave discipline. 2256 01:31:14,160 --> 01:31:15,832 My family had no set meal times. 2257 01:31:15,960 --> 01:31:18,076 Yeah, it's cool. I don't need your origin story. 2258 01:31:18,320 --> 01:31:20,356 Promise me you won't tell anyone? 2259 01:31:20,800 --> 01:31:22,392 - I'll do your taxes! - Deal. 2260 01:31:22,760 --> 01:31:23,795 Great. 2261 01:31:23,960 --> 01:31:26,952 Oh, my God, the office. Hey, guys, I got doughnuts! 2262 01:31:27,160 --> 01:31:29,958 I got, uh, jelly and glazed and, uh, 2263 01:31:30,360 --> 01:31:31,952 some other stuff. But no Cronuts, 2264 01:31:31,960 --> 01:31:33,359 that's a bastard pastry. 2265 01:31:34,960 --> 01:31:35,995 (SIGHS) 2266 01:31:36,960 --> 01:31:38,632 I still hate your rules. 2267 01:31:39,560 --> 01:31:41,630 But your dancing is 2268 01:31:41,960 --> 01:31:43,393 wild and free. 2269 01:31:43,800 --> 01:31:45,791 Like an unmanned fire hose. 2270 01:31:46,840 --> 01:31:47,909 (SNICKERS) 2271 01:31:47,960 --> 01:31:49,757 Put your pants on. 2272 01:31:52,920 --> 01:31:54,069 For now. 2273 01:31:56,080 --> 01:31:57,752 Now, we can't fix the Internet 2274 01:31:57,840 --> 01:31:58,955 if we can't get on the Internet. 2275 01:31:58,960 --> 01:32:00,188 Everything is down. 2276 01:32:00,400 --> 01:32:01,776 Okay, well, all the phones are working. 2277 01:32:01,800 --> 01:32:02,949 What about a dial-up modem? 2278 01:32:02,960 --> 01:32:04,376 Great. Now all you need is a RadioShack 2279 01:32:04,400 --> 01:32:05,549 and a time machine. 2280 01:32:05,640 --> 01:32:08,154 - Oh, the G1 had it, right? - There's one in Clay's office. 2281 01:32:08,320 --> 01:32:09,480 I got the desk. Get the desk. 2282 01:32:09,520 --> 01:32:11,909 Okay, give me the wires. Plug it in here. Give me that. 2283 01:32:11,960 --> 01:32:14,076 Hey, I could use some of that giddy-up in H.R. 2284 01:32:14,160 --> 01:32:15,976 if you two ponies are looking for a new stable. 2285 01:32:16,000 --> 01:32:17,176 I am looking for a new stable, Mary. 2286 01:32:17,200 --> 01:32:18,536 Thank you so much. We'll talk later. 2287 01:32:18,560 --> 01:32:19,696 Mary, you're showing a lot of neck. 2288 01:32:19,720 --> 01:32:20,789 Breaking your own rules. 2289 01:32:20,960 --> 01:32:22,757 It's a little skanky, isn't it? 2290 01:32:22,960 --> 01:32:24,313 - Plug it in. - NATE: Plugged in. 2291 01:32:24,560 --> 01:32:25,959 Uh, I got this D.J. equipment, 2292 01:32:26,080 --> 01:32:27,296 if you want to use that for something. 2293 01:32:27,320 --> 01:32:29,000 Okay, that's not gonna help, but thank you. 2294 01:32:29,360 --> 01:32:30,395 All right, guys. 2295 01:32:31,120 --> 01:32:32,155 What now? 2296 01:32:32,360 --> 01:32:34,749 I press "Enter," it launches the protocol, and then... 2297 01:32:34,840 --> 01:32:36,176 And then everybody gets back on the Internet. 2298 01:32:36,200 --> 01:32:37,349 Hopefully. 2299 01:32:37,520 --> 01:32:38,953 Or I blow up the power grid. 2300 01:32:39,160 --> 01:32:41,071 - So be ready for that. - Okay? 2301 01:32:41,280 --> 01:32:43,510 Don't worry about that. Just hit "Enter." 2302 01:32:43,800 --> 01:32:44,949 Okay, guys. 2303 01:32:45,800 --> 01:32:46,835 Here we go. 2304 01:32:55,960 --> 01:32:57,552 Power's still on. 2305 01:32:57,640 --> 01:32:59,198 Yeah, I'm honestly shocked by that. 2306 01:32:59,400 --> 01:33:00,753 No Internet yet, though. 2307 01:33:00,840 --> 01:33:01,955 It could take a few seconds. 2308 01:33:01,960 --> 01:33:03,791 If it works, you'll have a connection alert. 2309 01:33:04,160 --> 01:33:05,912 - No. - No, nothing. 2310 01:33:06,080 --> 01:33:07,718 - Nothing yet. - (SIGHS) 2311 01:33:09,400 --> 01:33:10,958 - No? Anybody? - No. 2312 01:33:11,080 --> 01:33:12,195 NATE: No, nothing. 2313 01:33:12,320 --> 01:33:13,355 Josh? 2314 01:33:13,560 --> 01:33:14,960 No. Just give it a little more time. 2315 01:33:17,320 --> 01:33:18,958 Maybe it wasn't ready. 2316 01:33:19,320 --> 01:33:20,992 Tracey, hey. 2317 01:33:21,400 --> 01:33:22,833 It's ready. 2318 01:33:23,160 --> 01:33:25,515 MARY: Still dead. Waiting for it. Still dead. 2319 01:33:25,920 --> 01:33:27,399 (ELECTRICITY CRACKLING) 2320 01:33:30,800 --> 01:33:31,835 (MOBILE PHONE CHIMING) 2321 01:33:31,960 --> 01:33:32,960 - Is that you? - Got it. 2322 01:33:33,080 --> 01:33:34,115 - Got it! - Oh, my God. 2323 01:33:34,560 --> 01:33:36,312 - Yep, I got it. - Oh, my God! 2324 01:33:36,720 --> 01:33:37,948 - Was that you? - I got it! 2325 01:33:38,080 --> 01:33:39,536 - Yeah, I got it, too! - (NATE LAUGHS) 2326 01:33:39,560 --> 01:33:42,393 I got mine! Yeah. Yeah, there's mine. Holy shit! 2327 01:33:42,840 --> 01:33:44,068 - Tracey! - You did it! 2328 01:33:44,200 --> 01:33:45,349 (CHIMING) 2329 01:33:49,280 --> 01:33:50,952 (MOBILE PHONE CHIMING) 2330 01:33:59,640 --> 01:34:01,358 (ALL EXCLAIM HAPPILY) 2331 01:34:04,960 --> 01:34:06,598 (JEREMY TAUNTING) 2332 01:34:07,760 --> 01:34:09,318 Work never stops. You see that? 2333 01:34:09,560 --> 01:34:11,391 Excuse me. Excuse me. 2334 01:34:11,840 --> 01:34:14,195 Hello, yes. I am happy for you, but I do need you to 2335 01:34:14,400 --> 01:34:16,550 sign a personal relationship disclosure form 2336 01:34:16,640 --> 01:34:17,755 before this rounds first. 2337 01:34:17,840 --> 01:34:19,398 No. No, I don't think so. 2338 01:34:19,640 --> 01:34:21,995 Hey, Mary, sign this. 2339 01:34:22,120 --> 01:34:25,192 Oh. Oh, you know what? Um, I really like you, 2340 01:34:25,560 --> 01:34:27,736 um, but maybe we could get, like, a cup of coffee first, 2341 01:34:27,760 --> 01:34:28,829 or something? 2342 01:34:28,960 --> 01:34:30,837 Yeah! Totally. 2343 01:34:30,960 --> 01:34:33,190 That's what I meant by, "Sign this." 2344 01:34:33,640 --> 01:34:35,198 - You know what? Forget it. - Okay. 2345 01:34:35,320 --> 01:34:36,639 (ALL CHEERING) 2346 01:34:46,080 --> 01:34:48,275 CLAY: Glass of wine in a family photo? 2347 01:34:48,520 --> 01:34:50,750 Look at him in that suit. What a stud. 2348 01:34:51,080 --> 01:34:53,071 He wore that better than you. 2349 01:34:53,280 --> 01:34:55,714 Yeah, he did a lot of things better than me. 2350 01:34:55,960 --> 01:34:57,632 You're right to be pissed at me. 2351 01:34:57,840 --> 01:34:59,256 You know, I always got to do whatever I wanted 2352 01:34:59,280 --> 01:35:00,349 and you always ended up 2353 01:35:00,520 --> 01:35:01,720 with the shit end of the stick. 2354 01:35:01,840 --> 01:35:03,193 It wasn't fair. 2355 01:35:04,560 --> 01:35:05,993 I'm sorry, sis. 2356 01:35:06,840 --> 01:35:08,956 Thank you for that. 2357 01:35:09,840 --> 01:35:11,831 You never got to be the fun one, huh? 2358 01:35:11,960 --> 01:35:13,712 - I mean, I could have. Right? - Yeah. 2359 01:35:13,800 --> 01:35:15,176 - Sure. - I have... I have a fun side. 2360 01:35:15,200 --> 01:35:17,395 I've seen it many a time. 2361 01:35:17,640 --> 01:35:18,755 I mean... 2362 01:35:18,960 --> 01:35:20,757 Off the top of my head, I... 2363 01:35:20,960 --> 01:35:22,951 Remember that Thanksgiving that you taught everybody 2364 01:35:22,960 --> 01:35:24,757 the real rules of Monopoly? 2365 01:35:24,960 --> 01:35:27,080 With the bidding wars and the strict time limit and... 2366 01:35:27,120 --> 01:35:29,315 - Yeah, that wasn't fun. - I know. 2367 01:35:29,560 --> 01:35:32,916 Hi! My pain is at a 9 or a 10 or 11. 2368 01:35:32,960 --> 01:35:34,552 Whatever on the chart, the... 2369 01:35:34,960 --> 01:35:35,960 That face? 2370 01:35:36,320 --> 01:35:37,594 So can I get some Dilaudid 2371 01:35:37,720 --> 01:35:39,480 in another one of those little gelatine cups? 2372 01:35:39,760 --> 01:35:41,955 You can't buy those. I looked it up. 2373 01:35:43,280 --> 01:35:44,633 (MOBILE PHONE CHIMING) 2374 01:35:44,760 --> 01:35:46,955 Huh. The Internet's back up. 2375 01:35:47,560 --> 01:35:49,630 What the hell is a Zenotek? 2376 01:35:50,120 --> 01:35:51,314 - What? - CAROL: What? 2377 01:35:52,920 --> 01:35:56,913 Oh, my God! She did it. She did it! 2378 01:35:56,960 --> 01:35:58,712 - Shut the fuck door! - Oh. 2379 01:35:58,920 --> 01:35:59,955 I gotta tell you, I was always like, 2380 01:35:59,960 --> 01:36:01,518 "Tracey, this doesn't make any sense," 2381 01:36:01,720 --> 01:36:03,200 and she was like, "Words, words, words 2382 01:36:03,280 --> 01:36:04,952 "and some numbers." But she did it. 2383 01:36:05,760 --> 01:36:06,909 Oh, my God. 2384 01:36:06,960 --> 01:36:08,616 Wait. So, this means everybody gets to keep their jobs? 2385 01:36:08,640 --> 01:36:09,816 Everybody gets to keep their jobs. 2386 01:36:09,840 --> 01:36:10,955 Yes! 2387 01:36:11,000 --> 01:36:13,116 God, I am gonna be CEO. 2388 01:36:13,560 --> 01:36:15,118 Because you deserve it. 2389 01:36:15,800 --> 01:36:17,950 And you throw a great fucking party. 2390 01:36:18,200 --> 01:36:20,316 Yeah. I did, didn't I? 2391 01:36:21,400 --> 01:36:22,958 - Oh! Walter. - Walter. 2392 01:36:23,960 --> 01:36:24,995 - Oh, hello. - Hi. 2393 01:36:25,400 --> 01:36:27,197 - Carol. - Carol, nice to meet you. 2394 01:36:27,400 --> 01:36:29,197 There's my eagle. Hey. 2395 01:36:29,760 --> 01:36:33,116 I just want to thank you for the best night of my life! 2396 01:36:33,560 --> 01:36:34,754 - Yeah? Yeah? - (LAUGHS) 2397 01:36:35,360 --> 01:36:36,952 I'll see you on Monday. 2398 01:36:39,720 --> 01:36:41,950 Well, it looks like we just hired Walter Davis. 2399 01:36:43,960 --> 01:36:45,757 Well, he'll fit right in. 2400 01:36:47,320 --> 01:36:48,389 Wow. 2401 01:36:48,560 --> 01:36:49,959 - Did you see that? - (CHUCKLES) 2402 01:36:51,400 --> 01:36:52,549 CAROL: Oh. 2403 01:36:52,920 --> 01:36:54,751 - What are you doing? - Winner! (CHUCKLES) 2404 01:36:54,960 --> 01:36:56,996 - We weren't racing. - Well, you weren't. 2405 01:36:57,400 --> 01:36:59,520 Why do you think they always make you leave a hospital 2406 01:36:59,600 --> 01:37:00,953 in a wheelchair? 2407 01:37:01,960 --> 01:37:03,757 (ALL EXCLAIM HAPPILY) 2408 01:37:05,760 --> 01:37:07,113 What are you guys doing here? 2409 01:37:07,320 --> 01:37:09,000 Well, we can't go to breakfast without you. 2410 01:37:09,120 --> 01:37:11,320 - Come on, we're celebrating. - JOSH: Come on, let's go. 2411 01:37:11,960 --> 01:37:14,918 I'm in. Breakfast is the most important meal 2412 01:37:14,960 --> 01:37:15,995 - of the morning. - Whoa! 2413 01:37:16,120 --> 01:37:17,838 Whoa, whoa, whoa! Whoa. 2414 01:37:17,960 --> 01:37:18,960 We good? 2415 01:37:19,960 --> 01:37:21,951 Yeah. We're good. 2416 01:37:22,320 --> 01:37:24,550 - I'll go back down. - Your ankle is broken. 2417 01:37:24,760 --> 01:37:26,796 - Excuse me. Excuse me. - CAROL: Yes. 2418 01:37:26,920 --> 01:37:28,176 - Oh. - You left this in your room. 2419 01:37:28,200 --> 01:37:29,952 Oh, I did. Thank you. I'm sorry. 2420 01:37:30,320 --> 01:37:31,753 And also this. 2421 01:37:32,120 --> 01:37:34,554 Oh, thank you, Doctor. Here. 2422 01:37:35,640 --> 01:37:36,709 No. 2423 01:37:36,800 --> 01:37:38,096 - Wanna get out of here? - Let's go. 2424 01:37:38,120 --> 01:37:40,554 Oh, no. I'm not getting in that. I ordered us an Uber. 2425 01:37:40,640 --> 01:37:41,709 MARY: Carol? 2426 01:37:41,800 --> 01:37:44,792 I don't mean this in a creepy way, but get in the van. 2427 01:37:44,960 --> 01:37:46,520 Yeah, we got to keep this train rolling. 2428 01:37:46,640 --> 01:37:47,755 - No. - WOMEN: Yes. 2429 01:37:47,840 --> 01:37:50,195 No! You cannot have alcohol on your medication. 2430 01:37:50,560 --> 01:37:52,118 Uh, fuck that. Drinking is medication. 2431 01:37:52,400 --> 01:37:54,200 Doctor, this is a... This is a work breakfast. 2432 01:37:54,280 --> 01:37:55,952 There will be no alcohol at all. 2433 01:37:55,960 --> 01:37:56,995 (MOUTHS) Okay? 2434 01:37:59,000 --> 01:38:00,274 - Yeah. - (JOSH CHUCKLES) 2435 01:38:00,400 --> 01:38:01,594 I saw that. 2436 01:38:01,720 --> 01:38:03,950 Doctor, I assure you. I am in charge. 2437 01:38:04,080 --> 01:38:06,116 There will be no more partying. 2438 01:38:06,720 --> 01:38:07,755 (MOUTHS) 2439 01:38:07,840 --> 01:38:09,956 I'm literally standing right in front of you. 2440 01:38:09,960 --> 01:38:10,960 I'm literally right here. 2441 01:38:11,120 --> 01:38:13,554 I just don't know what it is you think that I'm not seeing. 2442 01:38:13,760 --> 01:38:16,957 Doctor, I would never disobey medical advice. (MOUTHING) 2443 01:38:18,760 --> 01:38:19,954 Just go, just go. 2444 01:38:20,000 --> 01:38:21,176 JOSH: It's an office thing. Here we go. 2445 01:38:21,200 --> 01:38:22,336 - Merry Christmas. - Let's go. 2446 01:38:22,360 --> 01:38:23,759 JOSH: Let's roll it to the car. 2447 01:38:23,840 --> 01:38:25,114 Okay, Happy Holidays. 2448 01:38:25,360 --> 01:38:26,952 MARY: Thank you for your service, Doctor. 2449 01:38:26,960 --> 01:38:28,712 Okay. (GRUNTS) 2450 01:38:29,560 --> 01:38:31,949 Okay. You need any help working your way out of here? 2451 01:38:32,120 --> 01:38:34,315 Please, Josh. I was born in a U-Haul. 2452 01:38:35,360 --> 01:38:36,395 (TYRES SCREECH) 2453 01:38:42,320 --> 01:38:43,389 Hey, Carol! 2454 01:38:43,960 --> 01:38:46,394 - Are you Carol? - What? Uh, no. 2455 01:38:46,840 --> 01:38:48,831 Are you sure? You look like a Carol. 2456 01:38:50,560 --> 01:38:52,835 Can you not hear me? Carol! 2457 01:38:53,760 --> 01:38:54,954 Carol! 2458 01:38:55,720 --> 01:38:56,755 Ugh. 2459 01:38:56,840 --> 01:38:57,955 (MOBILE PHONE CHIMES) 2460 01:38:58,960 --> 01:39:00,313 Cancelled? 2461 01:39:00,760 --> 01:39:02,830 - Bunch of bitches! - (MARY WHOOPS) 2462 01:39:03,160 --> 01:39:05,958 MARY: You know red lights are just suggestions. 2463 01:39:05,960 --> 01:39:07,951 KELSEY: Are you smoking a marijuana cigarette right now? 2464 01:39:07,960 --> 01:39:09,916 - (ALL EXCLAIMING) - (HORN HONKING) 2465 01:39:10,360 --> 01:39:12,954 CLAY: Yeah! See, we made it through. Let's do another. 2466 01:39:24,640 --> 01:39:25,709 (FARTING) 2467 01:39:25,800 --> 01:39:26,949 (LAUGHS) 2468 01:39:26,960 --> 01:39:28,313 (LAUGHTER) 2469 01:39:29,960 --> 01:39:31,518 Oh, not again. 2470 01:39:32,520 --> 01:39:33,635 (LAUGHTER) 2471 01:39:34,600 --> 01:39:35,635 Let me do it again. 2472 01:39:35,760 --> 01:39:37,136 Let me just do it again. I can do it. 2473 01:39:37,160 --> 01:39:39,151 Oh, damn it. (LAUGHS) 2474 01:39:39,560 --> 01:39:40,595 (LAUGHTER) 2475 01:39:41,080 --> 01:39:42,593 Shit, shit! 2476 01:39:45,280 --> 01:39:46,720 If you want to make it in this world, 2477 01:39:46,800 --> 01:39:47,915 learn to lie better. 2478 01:39:48,560 --> 01:39:50,073 Your mother's never coming back. 2479 01:39:50,280 --> 01:39:51,918 Merry Christmas! 2480 01:39:55,800 --> 01:39:56,949 Okay, I'm gonna suck my dick. 2481 01:39:56,960 --> 01:39:58,560 JOSH: She's gonna suck on this one, guys. 2482 01:39:58,600 --> 01:40:00,909 Guys, can we go back to one for sucking my dick? 2483 01:40:05,360 --> 01:40:06,976 I like it 'cause it looks like he's trying 2484 01:40:07,000 --> 01:40:08,592 just a little too hard. 2485 01:40:08,720 --> 01:40:09,789 The artist? 2486 01:40:09,920 --> 01:40:11,592 I hadn't thought about the artist. 2487 01:40:11,800 --> 01:40:14,109 Was this not where you had the key 2488 01:40:14,200 --> 01:40:16,156 to the city of Margaritaville? 2489 01:40:16,280 --> 01:40:19,511 - (LAUGHTER) - I did it. I got rid of it. 2490 01:40:23,760 --> 01:40:24,954 Canadian cinema 2491 01:40:24,960 --> 01:40:26,951 with a concentration in French-Canadian cinema. 2492 01:40:27,080 --> 01:40:29,913 Canadian music with a concentration in Rush. 2493 01:40:29,960 --> 01:40:32,155 Canadian linguistics. Eh? 2494 01:40:32,360 --> 01:40:33,952 (LAUGHTER) 2495 01:40:45,800 --> 01:40:48,360 He used all of his inheritance... 2496 01:40:48,800 --> 01:40:50,950 He used all of his inher... 2497 01:40:51,840 --> 01:40:53,956 He used all of his inheritance. 2498 01:40:53,960 --> 01:40:55,359 It's a hard word to say. 2499 01:40:55,800 --> 01:40:59,952 To keep this branch afloat with his in-her-i-tance. 2500 01:40:59,960 --> 01:41:00,995 (LAUGHTER) 2501 01:41:08,760 --> 01:41:12,355 "Hi, I'm Carol. I have the shingles again." 2502 01:41:12,600 --> 01:41:14,955 "I'm Carol. Has anyone seen my TV Guide?" 2503 01:41:15,280 --> 01:41:17,794 "I'm Carol. Change frightens me." 2504 01:41:17,960 --> 01:41:19,951 "We have to put Carol down. She's old." 2505 01:41:20,320 --> 01:41:21,389 (LAUGHS) 2506 01:41:28,960 --> 01:41:31,952 Andrew from the copy room told me that he had mono. 2507 01:41:32,320 --> 01:41:33,958 I said I wanted to get mono 2508 01:41:33,960 --> 01:41:36,349 because I wanted to take a month off from work. 2509 01:41:36,760 --> 01:41:38,591 And I kissed him deeply. 2510 01:41:39,760 --> 01:41:41,591 And I didn't get mono! (LAUGHS) 2511 01:41:42,080 --> 01:41:43,195 (LAUGHING) 2512 01:41:43,840 --> 01:41:45,353 MAN: Okay, let's reset. 2512 01:41:46,305 --> 01:41:52,787 Please rate this subtitle at www.osdb.link/3mb7z Help other users to choose the best subtitles