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-= www.OpenSubtitles.org =-
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Oh! Ah!
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Oh, fuck! Oh, fuck!
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Come on. Come on.
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Are you sure that we should
be doing this right now?
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Okay? There are people
outside waiting.
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They're going to wonder
where we are.
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All right, we're going to have
plenty of time after the wedding.
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I don't want to wait
until after the wedding.
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I want you right now.
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Come on.
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Come on!
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Oh, god.
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Christine!
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What the fuck?
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Hey, I'm so sorry, man.
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I wanted to wait until
after the wedding
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but she wanted
to do this right now.
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- Oh...
- Holy shit!
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- Bowie, I need you to...
- It's fine, man. I'm gonna get out... ah!
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- Oh!
- Oh! Damn, dude, that's a big wiener.
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- That's a big...
- Come on, man!
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- I'm sorry.
- Zip it up, please.
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I mean, I don't know if
it'll fit, though, right?
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Not the time. Wildly
inappropriate right now.
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Can't you just focus
on the guests, please?
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The wedding is obviously off.
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Great. I'm here for you. You're
my little king and I love you.
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You...
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You're garbage trash.
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And I always knew that.
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I can't wait to
never see you again.
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Garbage trash.
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And you, I don't like you
either, but I respect
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what's going on down there.
Let's get out of here.
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- I'm really sorry, man.
- Fuck off.
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- Yup.
- Yeah.
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So,
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you know this is
all your fault, right?
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Hi.
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- -Hello.
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My name is
Beauregard Pemberton iv.
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For those of you who don't know me
I am the best man for this wedding
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betwixt my dear friend Harry
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and his surprisingly
accommodating fiancee Christine.
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You guys don't get that joke,
that's for sure. Uh...
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First of all, I'd just like to start
by saying that I am very happy
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that everyone from
Harry's bachelor party
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made it out and is here
and not dead.
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Wes, those eyebrows
are growing back.
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Good for you, bud.
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Anyway, that's not
why I'm here, guys.
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I'm here to
tell you guys a story.
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A story of waiting.
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Waiting for that perfect moment.
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That perfect day.
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This story is about a young boy.
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Let's just call him
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me.
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This story is about
that young boy's
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unbridled love
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for guns n' roses.
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Now in the mid to late '90s
you guys have to understand
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that coming off
the giant success
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of both
use your illusions I and ii,
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anticipation was high
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because this young boy
was finally old enough
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to attend his
first guns n' roses concert.
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Snake dancing
in front of the mirror,
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picking out that
perfect bandana.
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It was red, of course.
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And when that night came for
the concert he was there,
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in that arena,
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section 352, row Q, seat 77.
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That's when that...
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Son of a bitch announcer
came over the loudspeaker.
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I always have
trouble with this part.
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Paradise city,
wherever it exists...
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was not in
Atlanta, Georgia that day.
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Guns n' roses had broken up.
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So I think I explained
everything pretty good.
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I'll open up the floor
to some questions.
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Even though I'm not
quite sure which one of them
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is the Axl in this situation.
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I'm going to have to
get some more details later.
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Nobody?
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You don't even want to ask me what
my favorite song is? Civil war.
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Guys, the wedding is not
happening is what I'm saying.
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What?
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Okay, calm down.
Calm down, it's fine.
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I thought I really
walked you guys into that.
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I feel like
you guys are overreacting.
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Hey, guys, guys, guys. It's
fine, it's fine, it's fine.
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Okay, the road to happiness
is not a straight path, okay?
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It's bumpy.
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If Harry and Christine
want to make it work
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they will make it work,
okay, guys?
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Look at guns n' roses.
They figured it out.
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I mean sure, slash and
the band were irreplaceable.
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But the buckethead years
were all right
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and Chinese democracy
had like two good songs.
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Plus we got velvet revolver
out of it
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and those guys fucking rule.
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So it could be worse.
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Guns n' roses is happy.
I'm happy.
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Harry will be happy.
Christine is a bitch.
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And, hey, GNR kind of
got back together.
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Anything is possible.
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The kids will be all right.
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That's all I'm saying.
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Ooh.
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Oh, fuck.
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Fuck.
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Fuck!
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Fuck.
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Fuck!
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Okay, that is it
for the wedding.
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Thank you guys so much.
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Um, I will see you
at the next one.
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"To Harry and Christine,"
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"may you share the most romantic of
meals together over these dishes."
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"Love Joey and Britney."
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That's like, really nice.
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Yeah.
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- Pull!
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Dude, in all fairness,
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there are game of thrones weddings that
were less bloody than yours today.
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- Not really funny.
- But look at it on the bright side.
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At least you found out
before you married her.
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Yeah, five minutes before.
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Yeah, that's
still before though.
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I mean, otherwise
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you would have been having sloppy seconds
on your own wedding night, dude.
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Also not funny.
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Uh, excuse me?
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Yeah, hey.
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Uh, we're not really sure
what you want us to do here.
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- Yeah, so I think we're just going to, um, go.
- Take off.
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No, no, please stay.
Everything's fine.
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I already paid you guys.
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If he wants you to stay
then you fucking stay.
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Okay? He had a shit day,
he almost married a skank
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and he's a prince amongst men!
It's his wedding night!
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And this is
the wedding reception
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but it's not a wedding reception
without a wedding band.
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It's not a wedding reception
without a wedding.
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Psycho.
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Please don't make me write you
guys a bad review on yelp.
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00:07:55,008 --> 00:07:57,075
Oh, he yelps like a maniac!
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- He's like an angry mama
on that thing!
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Okay...
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Play a song.
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00:08:01,982 --> 00:08:03,748
- One song!
- Thank you.
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- That was a lot.
- Had to get my point across.
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Sure. Anyway, dude,
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this could be
a blessing in disguise.
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00:08:09,623 --> 00:08:12,190
Look at all our married friends.
What do they have in common?
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That they're all married?
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They're in captivity!
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That's what marriage is.
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They have that same glazed-over
look that lions at the zoo have.
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You know why you've never
heard a lion at the zoo roar?
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Because I'm a grown man
and I don't go to the zoo?
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Okay, I'm a grown man and I
go to the zoo all the time.
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- Is there something weird about it?
- It's kind of weird.
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I got an annual pass.
What, am I not gonna use it?
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That's ridiculous!
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Does your lion metaphor
have a point?
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You never hear lions
roar at the zoo
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because you need
fucking balls to roar, man!
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- They're good.
- Yeah, like, really good.
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Can I ask you a question?
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Shoot.
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How did we get here, man?
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00:08:52,065 --> 00:08:54,699
Well, my hillbilly cousin gave
me this gun as a wedding present
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and now we're using it to destroy
all the other wedding presents.
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- No, not here...
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Man, how did we get here
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00:09:01,207 --> 00:09:02,407
in life?
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00:09:02,409 --> 00:09:04,008
How could you stay with
someone so long,
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00:09:04,010 --> 00:09:06,044
let alone almost marry them,
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00:09:06,046 --> 00:09:08,012
when the whole time
you guys were together
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00:09:08,014 --> 00:09:09,614
she treated you so...
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I don't know what the word...
'Cause I don't want to offend you,
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because you're
a fragile guy right now.
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00:09:13,353 --> 00:09:14,633
What is the word
I'm looking for?
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- Cold?
- Cunty.
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00:09:16,723 --> 00:09:18,423
Careful.
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00:09:18,425 --> 00:09:19,891
I don't know, man.
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00:09:19,893 --> 00:09:23,361
When you're in something, you only
see what you want to see, right?
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00:09:23,363 --> 00:09:25,630
And I saw the girl that
I was supposed to marry.
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On paper she was perfect.
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00:09:27,534 --> 00:09:29,374
I mean, so was Bitcoin
when you think about it.
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00:09:32,472 --> 00:09:33,905
You never suspected this?
195
00:09:33,907 --> 00:09:35,473
No, actually,
I didn't see this coming.
196
00:09:35,475 --> 00:09:38,643
I totally thought this would be
more of a murder-suicide situation.
197
00:09:38,645 --> 00:09:40,778
Yeah. Wait, what?
198
00:09:40,780 --> 00:09:43,548
Oh, she was going to kill you,
dude. That's for sure.
199
00:09:43,550 --> 00:09:45,383
But then I like to think
in my fantasy world,
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00:09:45,385 --> 00:09:46,818
she would at least
have the courage
201
00:09:46,820 --> 00:09:49,020
to turn the gun
on herself afterwards.
202
00:09:49,022 --> 00:09:51,055
Is this the shit
you actually think about?
203
00:09:51,057 --> 00:09:52,617
I know, right? It's weird.
204
00:09:55,595 --> 00:09:58,496
Okay, do you guys know real songs
at all or do you just eavesdrop?
205
00:09:58,498 --> 00:09:59,931
She checked all the boxes.
206
00:09:59,933 --> 00:10:02,367
- Oh this one, okay. Let's hear 'em.
- Okay.
207
00:10:02,369 --> 00:10:04,469
Number one, she had a good job.
208
00:10:04,471 --> 00:10:05,904
You paid for everything!
209
00:10:05,906 --> 00:10:08,373
- She's pretty...
- She never fucked you, so who cares?
210
00:10:08,375 --> 00:10:09,974
She comes from
a really good family.
211
00:10:09,976 --> 00:10:11,743
Dude, her dad
called me the n-word.
212
00:10:12,244 --> 00:10:13,343
We had a plan.
213
00:10:13,445 --> 00:10:15,947
Harry, I know you have plans.
You fucking love plans.
214
00:10:15,949 --> 00:10:18,983
But you need to realize
that plan sucked.
215
00:10:18,985 --> 00:10:23,121
If you felt this way, why is this the
first time I'm hearing about it?
216
00:10:23,123 --> 00:10:24,956
Hey, what do you think
about Christine?
217
00:10:24,958 --> 00:10:26,891
She's cool, right?
218
00:10:26,893 --> 00:10:30,428
No, dude. She fucking sucks.
219
00:10:30,430 --> 00:10:32,363
Anyway, do not
propose to Christine, man.
220
00:10:32,365 --> 00:10:34,132
She fucking sucks.
221
00:10:36,502 --> 00:10:37,869
What?
222
00:10:37,871 --> 00:10:39,737
Your fiancee fucking sucks, man.
223
00:10:41,074 --> 00:10:42,540
I don't know, man,
I guess there was
224
00:10:42,542 --> 00:10:44,575
just never a good time
to bring it up.
225
00:10:49,048 --> 00:10:53,551
That's probably the flight Christine and I
were supposed to go on for our honeymoon.
226
00:10:53,553 --> 00:10:55,386
What island were you guys
going to? I forgot.
227
00:10:55,388 --> 00:10:57,188
Rancho para.
228
00:10:57,190 --> 00:10:58,456
Supposed to be amazing.
229
00:10:59,992 --> 00:11:02,360
Dude, let's go!
230
00:11:02,362 --> 00:11:04,562
Just missed the flight.
231
00:11:04,564 --> 00:11:05,930
Yeah, but you
canceled the hotel?
232
00:11:05,932 --> 00:11:07,765
No, I couldn't.
It was too close to check-in.
233
00:11:07,767 --> 00:11:09,901
- I'm just going to have to eat it.
- No, you don't.
234
00:11:09,903 --> 00:11:11,602
Not if you and me go!
235
00:11:11,604 --> 00:11:13,671
- What, you and me?
- Yeah!
236
00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:15,039
How would we even get there?
237
00:11:15,041 --> 00:11:16,107
Dude, I got a guy.
238
00:11:16,109 --> 00:11:17,508
- You got a guy?
- I got a guy.
239
00:11:17,510 --> 00:11:19,610
What does that even mean?
You're always so vague.
240
00:11:19,612 --> 00:11:20,710
It means I know a guy.
241
00:11:20,712 --> 00:11:23,214
He runs shuttles back and forth
to the islands for my company.
242
00:11:23,216 --> 00:11:26,117
I'll hop on as a "business
trip" and you ride for free.
243
00:11:26,119 --> 00:11:28,953
You're my best friend, I have no
idea what you do for a living.
244
00:11:28,955 --> 00:11:31,222
Doesn't matter! You've got
your bags packed, right?
245
00:11:31,224 --> 00:11:33,791
- Yeah.
- So let's go, man, this is gonna be fucking awesome!
246
00:11:33,793 --> 00:11:35,994
Dude, fuck your honeymoon.
That was going to suck.
247
00:11:35,996 --> 00:11:37,161
This is you and me going out.
248
00:11:37,163 --> 00:11:39,197
It's not a honeymoon.
This is like, uh...
249
00:11:39,199 --> 00:11:40,965
Dude, this is a fucking bromoon.
250
00:11:42,234 --> 00:11:43,735
I think "homiemoon" is funnier.
251
00:11:43,737 --> 00:11:45,370
Yeah, see, look, it is funnier.
252
00:11:45,372 --> 00:11:47,538
That's how excited you are,
you're making puns!
253
00:11:47,540 --> 00:11:49,974
I'm going to use homiemoon,
that's fucking hilarious!
254
00:11:49,976 --> 00:11:52,610
- It's not that exciting.
- You're so excited for this homiemoon.
255
00:11:52,612 --> 00:11:54,044
Dude, we've got to
get out of here.
256
00:11:54,046 --> 00:11:55,879
Look at how fucking
depressing this place is.
257
00:11:55,881 --> 00:11:57,415
It's like the
limp bizkit reunion tour.
258
00:11:57,417 --> 00:11:58,815
Hey, man, we had
fun at that show.
259
00:11:58,817 --> 00:12:02,286
We had a great time but the crowd wasn't
into it and it took me out, personally.
260
00:12:02,288 --> 00:12:03,621
I don't know.
261
00:12:03,623 --> 00:12:05,303
Maybe I should just
go in to work tomorrow.
262
00:12:07,092 --> 00:12:08,893
Fuck you, man. I'm going
to fucking kill you.
263
00:12:08,895 --> 00:12:09,993
Are you kidding?
264
00:12:10,095 --> 00:12:12,697
You're going to do what you think
you're supposed to do, again.
265
00:12:13,299 --> 00:12:15,800
Look at what doing what you're
supposed to do did to you today.
266
00:12:15,802 --> 00:12:17,468
You almost married a whore!
267
00:12:17,470 --> 00:12:19,437
Hey, come on, man,
it still hurts.
268
00:12:19,439 --> 00:12:20,905
I know, I'm sorry.
I get excited.
269
00:12:20,907 --> 00:12:22,173
I forget that you're fragile.
270
00:12:22,175 --> 00:12:23,608
I love you.
Come here, my baby boy.
271
00:12:23,610 --> 00:12:24,842
I'm sorry I hurt
your feelings just then.
272
00:12:24,844 --> 00:12:26,677
But don't worry, this is going
to be a fun-ass homiemoon.
273
00:12:26,679 --> 00:12:27,812
Okay, don't overuse it.
274
00:12:31,151 --> 00:12:32,151
Thanks, dude.
275
00:12:34,988 --> 00:12:37,188
You guys are wonderful, actually,
I was wrong about you.
276
00:12:38,724 --> 00:12:40,191
Where are we going?
277
00:12:40,193 --> 00:12:42,293
I told you, dude, gate z-98.
278
00:12:42,295 --> 00:12:43,828
Z? I see a and b.
279
00:12:43,830 --> 00:12:45,696
Ah, perfect timing. Give me that.
Give me that.
280
00:12:45,698 --> 00:12:47,999
You got it from the closet
we don't talk about, right?
281
00:12:48,001 --> 00:12:51,135
Cool, this is going into my file.
Get out of here.
282
00:12:51,137 --> 00:12:53,871
- What was that?
- It was one of my interns. I had him get my go bag.
283
00:12:53,873 --> 00:12:56,707
- How many interns do you have?
- Seven.
284
00:12:56,709 --> 00:12:58,209
Can you and I
talk about this closet?
285
00:13:04,950 --> 00:13:06,217
So is this it?
286
00:13:06,219 --> 00:13:08,386
Well, all the signs say gate z.
287
00:13:09,888 --> 00:13:11,722
- Who's this guy?
- Oh, that's Mike.
288
00:13:11,724 --> 00:13:13,157
Mike?
289
00:13:13,159 --> 00:13:14,625
Yeah, well his friends
call him corn
290
00:13:14,627 --> 00:13:16,260
on account of he tells
really lame jokes
291
00:13:16,262 --> 00:13:17,595
but he's a hell
of a poker player
292
00:13:17,597 --> 00:13:18,763
and really good at disc golf,
293
00:13:18,765 --> 00:13:20,865
despite the fact that he lost
half of his index finger
294
00:13:20,867 --> 00:13:22,667
in a thrashing machine
accident when he was nine.
295
00:13:22,669 --> 00:13:23,968
It's a real bummer but
296
00:13:23,970 --> 00:13:25,236
he's found a way to adapt.
297
00:13:25,238 --> 00:13:26,337
How do you know all this?
298
00:13:26,339 --> 00:13:27,472
I don't know all that, Harry!
299
00:13:27,474 --> 00:13:28,606
You're asking a ton
of questions, okay?
300
00:13:28,608 --> 00:13:29,774
I don't know everything
about everybody.
301
00:13:29,776 --> 00:13:31,736
That's clearly just a homeless guy.
Where'd he go?
302
00:13:34,180 --> 00:13:36,180
Who... who are you?
Who sent you?
303
00:13:36,182 --> 00:13:38,549
How long was I there?
Did Miguel send you?
304
00:13:38,551 --> 00:13:39,951
I don't know a Miguel.
305
00:13:39,953 --> 00:13:43,287
Shh! That's exactly what
Miguel would want you to say.
306
00:13:43,289 --> 00:13:45,223
We're just trying to get
to Rancho para.
307
00:13:45,225 --> 00:13:46,891
I'm looking for
a guy named Randy.
308
00:13:48,527 --> 00:13:49,827
Bowie?
309
00:13:49,829 --> 00:13:50,962
- Randy? Hey!
- Hey!
310
00:13:50,964 --> 00:13:52,697
All right.
311
00:13:52,699 --> 00:13:53,898
Randy!
312
00:13:53,900 --> 00:13:55,066
- Hey!
- Hey!
313
00:13:55,068 --> 00:13:56,667
And you must be Harry.
314
00:13:56,669 --> 00:13:59,871
- Yeah.
- Ah, the guy who almost married the town jizz mop.
315
00:14:01,707 --> 00:14:03,708
Don't blame me,
you know I like to gossip.
316
00:14:03,710 --> 00:14:05,176
Hey, don't sweat it.
317
00:14:05,178 --> 00:14:07,245
At least you two
found each other.
318
00:14:07,247 --> 00:14:08,880
And it wouldn't have happened
without her.
319
00:14:08,882 --> 00:14:10,481
That's the most important thing.
320
00:14:10,483 --> 00:14:13,017
- Wait, what do you think that this is?
- Yeah?
321
00:14:13,019 --> 00:14:15,720
Oh, nothing, nothing.
Just two best friends
322
00:14:15,722 --> 00:14:17,588
going on a trip for two together
323
00:14:17,590 --> 00:14:19,123
to a tropical paradise
324
00:14:19,125 --> 00:14:20,825
- with matching tuxes.
- Oh, shit.
325
00:14:20,827 --> 00:14:22,960
I actually think we look badass.
326
00:14:22,962 --> 00:14:24,896
We look like Sommeliers.
327
00:14:24,898 --> 00:14:26,464
Follow me, guys. Come on.
328
00:14:26,466 --> 00:14:28,032
Why are you talking about
west African pirates?
329
00:14:28,034 --> 00:14:29,132
We look like butlers.
330
00:14:29,134 --> 00:14:32,235
Yeah, Geoffrey from the fresh
prince fucking rules, it's fine.
331
00:14:33,706 --> 00:14:35,039
Sun-kissed airlines
332
00:14:35,041 --> 00:14:36,440
would like to
make the announcement
333
00:14:36,442 --> 00:14:38,910
that flight one to Rancho para
334
00:14:38,912 --> 00:14:40,611
is now ready to board.
335
00:14:40,613 --> 00:14:42,546
Now, we'd like to
start off the boarding process
336
00:14:42,548 --> 00:14:44,916
with all of our
first class passengers,
337
00:14:44,918 --> 00:14:46,751
frequent flyer medallion members
338
00:14:46,753 --> 00:14:50,188
and anyone traveling with a
wheelchair or small children.
339
00:14:50,190 --> 00:14:51,589
- You're welcome to board.
340
00:14:55,160 --> 00:14:56,460
Also, we'd like to announce
341
00:14:56,462 --> 00:14:58,496
that this flight is overbooked.
342
00:14:58,498 --> 00:15:00,031
Anyone who's willing to
343
00:15:00,033 --> 00:15:02,800
give up their ticket
will receive a voucher
344
00:15:02,802 --> 00:15:04,669
- of $400...
- Ooh.
345
00:15:04,671 --> 00:15:06,504
- For your next flight.
346
00:15:06,506 --> 00:15:08,072
Okay, what's up?
Can I help y'all?
347
00:15:09,441 --> 00:15:12,043
- We're the only two people here.
- Yeah.
348
00:15:13,912 --> 00:15:15,646
Come on, man,
I'm just messing with y'all.
349
00:15:15,648 --> 00:15:16,948
- Come on, you guys.
350
00:15:16,950 --> 00:15:18,115
- Oh, that was...
- You guys...
351
00:15:18,117 --> 00:15:19,217
You were joking.
352
00:15:19,219 --> 00:15:20,418
- Because I thought...
- Ah!
353
00:15:20,420 --> 00:15:22,086
It's funny looking back,
but at the time
354
00:15:22,088 --> 00:15:23,587
- I did not...
- It was pretty brutal.
355
00:15:23,589 --> 00:15:25,756
- Yeah.
- Anyways, the more important thing is
356
00:15:25,758 --> 00:15:27,491
let's get you two
love birds in the air.
357
00:15:27,493 --> 00:15:29,193
Right this way, gentlemen.
358
00:15:29,195 --> 00:15:31,796
- Are you sure you want to do this?
- Do what?
359
00:15:31,798 --> 00:15:33,965
I wouldn't trust this guy
with my dry cleaning.
360
00:15:33,967 --> 00:15:36,133
We're going to let him
fly a plane that we're in?
361
00:15:36,135 --> 00:15:37,735
Harry, fucking relax, okay?
362
00:15:37,737 --> 00:15:40,104
Literally no one has ever
died in a plane crash.
363
00:15:40,106 --> 00:15:42,707
What are you talking about?
JFK Jr.
364
00:15:42,709 --> 00:15:44,742
- John Denver. Aaliyah.
- Okay, three.
365
00:15:44,744 --> 00:15:47,411
Three people in the history of
aviation, that's pretty good, Harry.
366
00:15:47,413 --> 00:15:48,813
I think you should
fact-check that.
367
00:15:48,815 --> 00:15:50,295
Hey, Randy,
you ever crash this thing?
368
00:15:51,483 --> 00:15:52,984
Yeah.
369
00:15:52,986 --> 00:15:54,185
And look at him,
he's doing great.
370
00:15:54,187 --> 00:15:55,285
Hey, guys, guys.
371
00:15:55,287 --> 00:15:58,022
I've got two parachutes and a
flotation device. We're good.
372
00:15:58,024 --> 00:15:59,957
See? We're good!
373
00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:02,960
I like you, Randy.
I like you a bunch.
374
00:16:02,962 --> 00:16:04,662
I got dibs on the parachute.
375
00:16:04,664 --> 00:16:07,231
All right, the meal on today's
flight is shut the hell up
376
00:16:07,233 --> 00:16:10,968
and the in-flight movie is strap
on and hold on to your dicks.
377
00:16:10,970 --> 00:16:13,404
Or each other's.
Whatever you're into.
378
00:16:13,406 --> 00:16:16,073
Could you play the
movie alive? That'd be funny.
379
00:16:16,075 --> 00:16:18,242
All right, boys, we are all set
380
00:16:18,244 --> 00:16:20,077
and ready to go.
381
00:16:20,079 --> 00:16:22,446
It's like a sophisticated
pinball machine, right?
382
00:16:22,448 --> 00:16:25,149
Uh, tower, this is
Stroker Ace-six-nine,
383
00:16:25,151 --> 00:16:26,484
ready for takeoff.
384
00:16:26,486 --> 00:16:28,419
Now you've just got to
get out there and push.
385
00:16:29,521 --> 00:16:31,355
You're just fucking
with us, right?
386
00:16:33,559 --> 00:16:34,959
You're catching on, grasshopper.
387
00:16:34,961 --> 00:16:36,494
- That's pretty good.
388
00:16:36,496 --> 00:16:37,561
That's pretty good.
389
00:16:54,546 --> 00:16:55,946
Okay, now I'm not.
390
00:16:55,948 --> 00:16:58,068
You're going to have to
really get out there and push.
391
00:16:58,884 --> 00:17:00,951
I have a hard time reading you.
392
00:17:30,382 --> 00:17:31,949
That was a surprisingly
smooth flight.
393
00:17:31,951 --> 00:17:34,185
- Yeah.
- Huh? What?
394
00:17:34,187 --> 00:17:36,821
He said that that was a surprisingly
smooth flight, Randy, it was great.
395
00:17:36,823 --> 00:17:39,523
Come on, guys, we all know
I'm not allowed to fly.
396
00:17:40,425 --> 00:17:42,660
No. Nope, we did
not know that, Randy.
397
00:17:42,662 --> 00:17:45,596
If you Google me it says,
"don't let him fly."
398
00:17:46,765 --> 00:17:49,834
Okay, well, looks like
we're here. Thanks again.
399
00:17:55,507 --> 00:17:57,475
Oh, shit.
400
00:17:57,477 --> 00:17:59,310
On behalf of everyone here
401
00:17:59,312 --> 00:18:01,011
at the Tradewinds island resort,
402
00:18:01,013 --> 00:18:02,880
it is my pleasure to say to you
403
00:18:02,882 --> 00:18:05,616
welcome to Rancho para
404
00:18:05,618 --> 00:18:07,852
and happy honeymoon Mr. and...
405
00:18:09,388 --> 00:18:10,588
Nice!
406
00:18:14,025 --> 00:18:17,395
- Mr. and Mr. Fluder.
- Oh, uh...
407
00:18:17,397 --> 00:18:19,463
No, no, no. Not Mr. and Mr.
408
00:18:19,465 --> 00:18:22,266
Well, I mean, we are both misters.
I'm a boy so it's fine.
409
00:18:22,268 --> 00:18:24,268
A lover's quarrel already?
410
00:18:24,270 --> 00:18:25,803
This is supposed
to be the honeymoon.
411
00:18:25,805 --> 00:18:26,871
- Don't worry...
- Hey!
412
00:18:26,873 --> 00:18:29,273
Nothing a few days
in paradise won't cure.
413
00:18:29,275 --> 00:18:30,674
No, you don't understand.
414
00:18:30,676 --> 00:18:31,742
No bags?
415
00:18:31,744 --> 00:18:33,442
- No, we have bags.
- Yeah, we have bags.
416
00:18:33,444 --> 00:18:36,046
I must say, you two are doing
your honeymoon properly.
417
00:18:36,048 --> 00:18:38,015
Should I have all your
meals sent to your room?
418
00:18:38,017 --> 00:18:39,550
Double the maid service?
419
00:18:39,552 --> 00:18:40,985
I don't know what that means.
420
00:18:40,987 --> 00:18:42,085
I know what that means.
421
00:18:42,087 --> 00:18:44,722
Did you forget our bags? We're the
only two people on the plane.
422
00:18:45,124 --> 00:18:47,658
What? No! I know exactly
where your bags are.
423
00:18:54,666 --> 00:18:56,901
Hey, you guys enjoy
your honeymoon, all right?
424
00:18:56,903 --> 00:18:58,436
You guys make a cute couple.
425
00:18:58,438 --> 00:19:01,038
- What about my toiletries?
- Dude, who cares? Come on, let's go.
426
00:19:01,040 --> 00:19:02,773
- Hey.
- Hello.
427
00:19:02,775 --> 00:19:04,575
The ultimate
honeymoon experience.
428
00:19:04,577 --> 00:19:06,243
Dude, I can tell, man.
This thing rules.
429
00:19:06,245 --> 00:19:08,212
I feel like
fucking Beyonce right now.
430
00:19:08,214 --> 00:19:09,680
Does that make me Jay z?
431
00:19:11,716 --> 00:19:12,850
I don't know who that is.
432
00:19:25,564 --> 00:19:28,332
- Usa! Usa!
433
00:19:51,524 --> 00:19:53,424
As you can see,
we've taken great pains
434
00:19:53,426 --> 00:19:55,826
to ensure that your room
and your entire stay
435
00:19:55,828 --> 00:19:58,329
caters to your every desire.
436
00:19:58,331 --> 00:20:01,232
If you need anything
your wish is my command.
437
00:20:01,733 --> 00:20:02,800
Good day, gentlemen.
438
00:20:03,134 --> 00:20:04,635
Good day.
439
00:20:04,637 --> 00:20:06,237
That guy talked
like a genie, huh?
440
00:20:07,005 --> 00:20:08,205
Yeah.
441
00:20:08,207 --> 00:20:10,074
All right.
What do you wanna do now?
442
00:20:10,609 --> 00:20:12,176
You mean after we fuck?
443
00:20:12,178 --> 00:20:15,079
Obviously, yeah. I mean, we have to fuck.
It would be rude not to.
444
00:20:15,081 --> 00:20:16,313
- Let's get a drink.
- Okay.
445
00:20:18,383 --> 00:20:19,750
It's just so wonderful.
446
00:20:19,752 --> 00:20:22,219
Thank you. Oh, yeah.
447
00:20:22,221 --> 00:20:23,687
Look how tropical
this shit is, man.
448
00:20:23,689 --> 00:20:26,223
- Mmm.
- Fuckin', who is getting whiskey in paradise?
449
00:20:26,225 --> 00:20:27,291
Get tropical with me.
450
00:20:27,993 --> 00:20:29,159
Not feeling very tropical.
451
00:20:29,661 --> 00:20:31,362
Ooh, that's good.
452
00:20:31,364 --> 00:20:33,197
That's good.
453
00:20:33,199 --> 00:20:36,867
When I pictured this,
I didn't exactly picture this.
454
00:20:36,869 --> 00:20:39,870
Look, I know she-who-shall-not-be-named
fucking sucks, but still.
455
00:20:39,872 --> 00:20:41,405
I know, I know. I'm sorry.
456
00:20:41,407 --> 00:20:44,341
I forgot why I was here.
Take care of my buddy.
457
00:20:44,343 --> 00:20:46,544
I'm gonna go get us the three WS.
How's that sound?
458
00:20:46,546 --> 00:20:48,712
- Huh?
- Weed, women...
459
00:20:50,215 --> 00:20:51,982
Fuck. Should've been two WS.
460
00:20:51,984 --> 00:20:54,184
I'm gonna go do that, then.
I'm gonna get us the two WS.
461
00:20:55,520 --> 00:20:56,954
Third one could've been whiskey.
462
00:21:01,259 --> 00:21:02,860
Watermelon's the third one.
463
00:21:14,639 --> 00:21:15,706
Oh yeah.
464
00:21:17,309 --> 00:21:18,976
Hey. How's it going?
465
00:21:19,778 --> 00:21:21,912
All at once
and at the same time.
466
00:21:21,914 --> 00:21:22,980
Okay.
467
00:21:24,316 --> 00:21:27,151
Did you order caviar
or diamonds or something?
468
00:21:27,819 --> 00:21:29,920
Oh, you see him too, huh?
469
00:21:29,922 --> 00:21:31,455
Okay, good.
470
00:21:31,457 --> 00:21:33,424
Hello, time traveler.
471
00:21:33,426 --> 00:21:34,625
- Come, sit.
472
00:21:36,094 --> 00:21:37,194
I'm bowie.
473
00:21:37,196 --> 00:21:39,163
Hi, bowie.
474
00:21:39,165 --> 00:21:41,465
Are you from
dancing with the stars?
475
00:21:41,467 --> 00:21:43,233
No, no. I'm not.
476
00:21:43,235 --> 00:21:44,568
But I think that show's great.
477
00:21:45,770 --> 00:21:47,538
Um...
478
00:21:47,540 --> 00:21:48,939
I'm just gonna
come out and say it.
479
00:21:48,941 --> 00:21:52,810
Uh, I don't wanna, assume too much
that it might offend you guys,
480
00:21:52,812 --> 00:21:57,548
but you just seem like
the sort that might know this.
481
00:21:57,550 --> 00:22:00,083
You guys might be able to help me out.
I'm not from around here,
482
00:22:00,085 --> 00:22:03,654
and if someone from not around
here was looking to, maybe,
483
00:22:03,656 --> 00:22:08,092
elevate themselves to, like, the
level you guys seem to be on...
484
00:22:08,760 --> 00:22:09,827
You know what I...
485
00:22:09,829 --> 00:22:11,895
You know what I mean?
486
00:22:19,137 --> 00:22:22,473
You're sayin' an awful lot
of words right now, man.
487
00:22:22,475 --> 00:22:23,475
Are you a narc?
488
00:22:24,843 --> 00:22:28,278
Oh, stop teasing him.
We're just fuckin' with you.
489
00:22:28,280 --> 00:22:29,546
- We're just fuckin' with you.
490
00:22:29,548 --> 00:22:31,315
Our level, our level.
Sure, sure, sure.
491
00:22:31,317 --> 00:22:33,117
Look. All you gotta do, look.
492
00:22:33,119 --> 00:22:35,386
You just gotta
eat this bag of mushrooms,
493
00:22:36,488 --> 00:22:38,656
and smoke this bag of weed.
494
00:22:38,658 --> 00:22:40,424
Okay.
495
00:22:40,426 --> 00:22:44,294
Every day for 20 years.
496
00:22:45,130 --> 00:22:46,263
Get out... you...
497
00:22:46,265 --> 00:22:49,033
You do that, and you
might be able to, like,
498
00:22:49,035 --> 00:22:52,269
smell the orbit that we're
working with, you know?
499
00:22:53,638 --> 00:22:56,940
I mean, yeah, it... It would get you close.
It would get you close.
500
00:22:56,942 --> 00:22:58,142
It's true.
501
00:22:58,144 --> 00:23:00,444
I once did peyote
with a leprechaun...
502
00:23:00,446 --> 00:23:02,980
Could've been
a well-dressed armadillo.
503
00:23:02,982 --> 00:23:06,316
Either way, we both peaked at the
same time, so it was all good.
504
00:23:06,318 --> 00:23:10,087
Yeah, I mean, you know, you gotta
start somewhere, right? So...
505
00:23:10,089 --> 00:23:11,655
Yeah, here.
506
00:23:11,657 --> 00:23:13,524
Oh, man.
507
00:23:13,526 --> 00:23:14,591
What do I owe you?
508
00:23:14,593 --> 00:23:15,993
That's from the earth, man.
509
00:23:15,995 --> 00:23:18,495
Who am I to charge for nature's bounty?
You know it's, uh...
510
00:23:18,497 --> 00:23:20,464
That'd be like charging
for water, you know?
511
00:23:20,466 --> 00:23:21,698
They do charge you for water.
512
00:23:21,700 --> 00:23:23,333
You shut the fuck up, Richard!
513
00:23:23,335 --> 00:23:25,536
That's not a funny joke,
and I told you that.
514
00:23:25,538 --> 00:23:27,538
What's wrong with you?
515
00:23:27,540 --> 00:23:29,506
Having a little shindig
by the casino, later, man.
516
00:23:29,508 --> 00:23:31,608
You should stop by, man.
It's gonna be fun, you know.
517
00:23:31,610 --> 00:23:34,011
Well, real mellow, you know.
Nothing formal, although...
518
00:23:34,013 --> 00:23:36,714
Well, that sounds great. I'm just
here with my buddy, so I gotta...
519
00:23:36,716 --> 00:23:38,048
We love buddies.
520
00:23:38,050 --> 00:23:39,950
Yeah, man. The more the merrier.
That's what I say.
521
00:23:39,952 --> 00:23:41,618
Shit. Bring him, you know.
It's easy to find.
522
00:23:41,620 --> 00:23:43,854
You just gotta cut through
the woods right down...
523
00:23:45,557 --> 00:23:47,624
There. Right down there,
and, uh...
524
00:23:47,626 --> 00:23:49,426
It's off the beaten path,
but you can't miss it, man.
525
00:23:49,428 --> 00:23:50,926
It's right down there,
you'll see it.
526
00:23:50,928 --> 00:23:53,130
All right, man. Well, I'm so
glad I ran into you guys.
527
00:23:53,132 --> 00:23:55,599
I appreciate everything. This is so cool.
Thank you very much.
528
00:23:55,601 --> 00:23:57,434
Hey, you wanna...
529
00:23:57,436 --> 00:23:59,269
You know? Just a little toke
for the road?
530
00:23:59,271 --> 00:24:01,338
- Yeah. Yeah. Course.
- There you go.
531
00:24:01,340 --> 00:24:03,574
That's gonna put some fuzz
on your peaches, you know.
532
00:24:03,576 --> 00:24:04,842
This is fine, here?
533
00:24:04,844 --> 00:24:06,677
- Yeah, never got caught.
- I hope so, man.
534
00:24:06,679 --> 00:24:08,112
We been doin' it for years.
535
00:24:10,682 --> 00:24:13,717
Oh, fuck, dude, fuck.
536
00:24:13,719 --> 00:24:17,354
Oh, come on, man. That's
the breakfast blend, man.
537
00:24:17,356 --> 00:24:19,690
That's the shit I smoke
to stop being high.
538
00:24:19,692 --> 00:24:21,258
- Oh, god.
- Come on, man.
539
00:24:21,260 --> 00:24:22,493
Look at him go.
540
00:24:22,495 --> 00:24:23,727
I'm gonna
do one more for the road.
541
00:24:23,729 --> 00:24:24,828
Okay, you go for that.
542
00:24:24,830 --> 00:24:26,196
You gotta try
everything twice, yeah.
543
00:24:26,198 --> 00:24:27,798
Ah, there we go.
544
00:24:27,800 --> 00:24:29,266
Similar results.
545
00:24:29,268 --> 00:24:31,969
This guy's funny.
546
00:24:31,971 --> 00:24:33,971
Well, you guys are cool.
547
00:24:35,407 --> 00:24:38,142
Come tonight. Don't forget
to bring your friends.
548
00:24:40,178 --> 00:24:41,945
- I like him.
- Yeah, yeah.
549
00:24:41,947 --> 00:24:43,313
Looked like a Butler.
550
00:24:43,315 --> 00:24:44,982
But he didn't bring us anything.
551
00:24:44,984 --> 00:24:46,483
- Yeah.
- Butlers usually bring you something.
552
00:24:46,485 --> 00:24:48,152
- He's not good at his job?
- No.
553
00:24:49,454 --> 00:24:50,687
What the fuck?
554
00:25:07,572 --> 00:25:09,940
'Sup? That feels so weird, huh.
555
00:25:09,942 --> 00:25:11,642
Oh, my god!
556
00:25:11,644 --> 00:25:13,010
Watch where
you're going, asshole.
557
00:25:14,146 --> 00:25:15,746
I'm looking for an armadillo.
558
00:25:15,748 --> 00:25:19,349
I'm sorry. Did you just say
you're looking for an armadillo?
559
00:25:19,351 --> 00:25:21,418
Oh, he lost his armadillo.
560
00:25:21,420 --> 00:25:23,453
Oh, yeah? Well, he's about to
lose the contents of his nut sack
561
00:25:23,455 --> 00:25:25,889
if I don't have another drink
in my hand by then.
562
00:25:25,891 --> 00:25:27,691
Here, just have mine.
I haven't even taken a sip.
563
00:25:27,693 --> 00:25:28,792
No, it's fine.
564
00:25:28,794 --> 00:25:29,960
"Lose the contents
of his nut sack?"
565
00:25:29,962 --> 00:25:31,728
Are you gonna hurt him
or blow him?
566
00:25:31,730 --> 00:25:33,130
Oh yeah. Good, Colette.
567
00:25:33,132 --> 00:25:35,833
'Cause I suck every guy's dick
who spills a drink on me. Nice.
568
00:25:35,835 --> 00:25:38,268
I mean, he's wearing a tuxedo
in 90 degree weather.
569
00:25:38,270 --> 00:25:40,070
He's obviously a masochist.
570
00:25:40,072 --> 00:25:42,005
Rip off his nuts.
I bet he'd like it.
571
00:25:42,007 --> 00:25:44,608
Try and remember the last place
that you saw your armadillo.
572
00:25:44,610 --> 00:25:46,643
Ooh, I know.
Check your other hand.
573
00:25:46,645 --> 00:25:50,180
I can't tell you how many times I've lost
something and ended up finding it there.
574
00:25:50,182 --> 00:25:51,348
Well, what do you say, asshole?
575
00:25:51,350 --> 00:25:53,048
You wanna step outta the way
and apologize?
576
00:25:53,050 --> 00:25:55,952
You want me to shove my foot so far
up your ass I can wear you as pants?
577
00:25:56,020 --> 00:25:57,120
Shut up, you stupid.
578
00:25:58,490 --> 00:26:00,390
Did he just call me stupid?
579
00:26:00,392 --> 00:26:01,725
Shut up, you stupid.
580
00:26:01,727 --> 00:26:03,527
Look at you, you so dumb.
581
00:26:03,529 --> 00:26:04,962
Oh, no.
582
00:26:04,964 --> 00:26:06,196
I'm gonna kick this guy's
dick off, right now.
583
00:26:06,198 --> 00:26:07,297
Wait, wait, wait.
584
00:26:07,299 --> 00:26:08,699
Wait, wait. I smell weed.
585
00:26:08,701 --> 00:26:09,766
Do you have weed?
586
00:26:11,604 --> 00:26:13,136
Oh, that's cool.
587
00:26:16,074 --> 00:26:17,174
Harry.
588
00:26:17,176 --> 00:26:18,642
I'm in sad mode.
589
00:26:18,644 --> 00:26:20,043
Entering anger mode.
590
00:26:20,045 --> 00:26:21,144
Harry.
591
00:26:23,414 --> 00:26:25,983
Dude, I'm so high, too.
592
00:26:27,652 --> 00:26:29,353
Hello.
593
00:26:29,355 --> 00:26:30,721
All right. Come on.
Let's do this.
594
00:26:30,723 --> 00:26:32,289
- Bring the sad one.
595
00:26:33,591 --> 00:26:34,658
That's you.
596
00:26:37,629 --> 00:26:39,830
I know!
597
00:26:39,832 --> 00:26:41,498
Okay.
598
00:26:41,500 --> 00:26:43,901
I didn't get watermelon.
That's the only one I forgot.
599
00:26:53,711 --> 00:26:55,145
This is your boat?
600
00:26:55,147 --> 00:26:56,413
It's awesome.
601
00:26:56,415 --> 00:26:58,115
Okay, first of all,
it's not a boat.
602
00:26:58,117 --> 00:26:59,316
It's a yacht, asshole.
603
00:27:00,285 --> 00:27:01,852
It's okay, guys.
They're with me.
604
00:27:06,157 --> 00:27:08,225
Shoes off, guys. Let's go.
605
00:27:08,227 --> 00:27:09,993
All right. Whatever.
606
00:27:10,695 --> 00:27:12,062
Fucking rules.
607
00:27:12,964 --> 00:27:14,965
You're terrifying.
608
00:27:21,172 --> 00:27:22,306
- Dude.
- Wow.
609
00:27:22,308 --> 00:27:23,840
This boat is dope.
610
00:27:23,842 --> 00:27:25,375
Mmm, thank you.
611
00:27:25,377 --> 00:27:26,443
Speaking of which,
612
00:27:27,245 --> 00:27:28,645
let's see it.
613
00:27:28,647 --> 00:27:29,745
- What?
- Huh?
614
00:27:29,747 --> 00:27:32,482
Come on. Isn't that what youse
came here for? Whip it out.
615
00:27:32,483 --> 00:27:33,550
Oh.
616
00:27:34,953 --> 00:27:36,219
No, but...
617
00:27:36,221 --> 00:27:38,155
- Uh, it's not why we came here...
- Uh...
618
00:27:38,157 --> 00:27:40,057
but it's very cool of you
to start with this.
619
00:27:40,059 --> 00:27:41,625
- Oh, that's not cool.
- Oh, my god.
620
00:27:41,627 --> 00:27:43,660
No, not your dick. The weed.
621
00:27:44,228 --> 00:27:45,329
Oh, what?
622
00:27:45,331 --> 00:27:46,863
- Yeah, I know.
- God!
623
00:27:47,632 --> 00:27:49,066
I was kidding.
624
00:27:49,068 --> 00:27:50,567
Jesus Christ.
625
00:27:50,569 --> 00:27:52,002
Heard of a joke?
626
00:27:52,004 --> 00:27:54,271
- Gross.
- So, I'm Harry.
627
00:27:54,273 --> 00:27:55,372
I'm Angela.
628
00:27:55,374 --> 00:27:56,807
Nice to meet you.
629
00:27:56,809 --> 00:27:59,276
- This is Beatrice over here.
- Hey.
630
00:27:59,278 --> 00:28:00,944
You can call me Bea.
631
00:28:00,946 --> 00:28:02,713
Everyone does.
I don't force them.
632
00:28:02,715 --> 00:28:04,414
That's Johanna over there.
633
00:28:05,183 --> 00:28:06,783
- Don't look at me.
- Okay.
634
00:28:06,785 --> 00:28:08,652
Hi, I'm Tiffani and, uh...
635
00:28:09,253 --> 00:28:10,454
It's really hot.
636
00:28:11,489 --> 00:28:14,758
Oh. Ah, that's better.
637
00:28:14,760 --> 00:28:17,327
Yeah. It... good call.
It is so hot.
638
00:28:17,329 --> 00:28:18,729
It's... yup.
639
00:28:21,032 --> 00:28:22,799
I'm Colette. Hi.
640
00:28:24,235 --> 00:28:25,335
Hi.
641
00:28:28,673 --> 00:28:29,840
I'm bowie.
642
00:28:30,441 --> 00:28:32,509
That's my weed.
643
00:28:32,511 --> 00:28:34,878
So, you guys probably think
I'm pretty cool.
644
00:28:35,847 --> 00:28:37,647
Do you have Asperger's?
645
00:28:37,649 --> 00:28:40,650
I don't think so.
Unless you're into it.
646
00:28:46,090 --> 00:28:49,659
So, what brings you ladies
to the islands?
647
00:28:49,661 --> 00:28:50,761
The boat does.
648
00:28:50,763 --> 00:28:51,861
My husband.
649
00:28:51,863 --> 00:28:54,097
He's always traveling here and
there for work, you know,
650
00:28:54,099 --> 00:28:56,533
so I said, "you gotta figure out
a way to bring us with you."
651
00:28:56,535 --> 00:28:58,368
What does your husband do?
652
00:28:58,370 --> 00:29:00,604
Oh, little bit of this,
little bit of that, you know.
653
00:29:00,606 --> 00:29:02,472
Buys me yachts to keep me happy.
654
00:29:03,642 --> 00:29:05,976
So I can hang out
with my girls and party.
655
00:29:05,978 --> 00:29:07,644
He sounds cool.
656
00:29:07,646 --> 00:29:09,346
Ooh, this weed
is really relaxing.
657
00:29:09,348 --> 00:29:11,548
- Right?
- I love smoking weed.
658
00:29:12,383 --> 00:29:13,784
So relaxing.
659
00:29:13,786 --> 00:29:15,026
Basically take a nap right now.
660
00:29:18,256 --> 00:29:21,425
Might wanna take it easy on that.
You don't wanna get paranoid.
661
00:29:21,427 --> 00:29:23,860
You need to take it easy,
tux-o. Okay?
662
00:29:23,862 --> 00:29:25,695
I'm not paranoid.
You're paranoid.
663
00:29:25,697 --> 00:29:26,795
- Shut up.
- It's okay.
664
00:29:26,797 --> 00:29:30,567
Actually, that ridiculous
marijuana-causing-paranoia thing? That's a myth.
665
00:29:30,569 --> 00:29:31,867
It just lowers your inhibitions,
666
00:29:31,869 --> 00:29:34,037
and then you become a
heightened version of yourself.
667
00:29:34,039 --> 00:29:36,539
So if you're, like, really
happy, you're extra happy.
668
00:29:37,208 --> 00:29:39,276
If you're a crazy psycho weirdo,
669
00:29:40,211 --> 00:29:41,878
you're that.
670
00:29:41,880 --> 00:29:43,280
Lemme guess. Psychiatrist?
671
00:29:43,815 --> 00:29:45,215
Psychoanalyst.
672
00:29:45,217 --> 00:29:47,317
She said anal. That's funny.
673
00:29:47,319 --> 00:29:49,419
Bowie,
674
00:29:49,421 --> 00:29:50,687
why are you here?
675
00:29:50,689 --> 00:29:52,355
Actually,
it's a pretty crazy story.
676
00:29:52,357 --> 00:29:54,157
Yesterday, I'm with Harry...
677
00:29:54,159 --> 00:29:58,829
We're masseuse... Massages?
Massage. Massages.
678
00:29:58,831 --> 00:30:00,030
Masseuses?
679
00:30:00,032 --> 00:30:01,631
You mean massage therapists?
680
00:30:01,633 --> 00:30:03,900
- Yeah. I actually
consider myself
681
00:30:03,902 --> 00:30:06,136
a massage, uh, wizard.
682
00:30:07,071 --> 00:30:09,973
It's magic what I can do
with just these.
683
00:30:10,842 --> 00:30:13,143
It sounds like magic.
684
00:30:13,145 --> 00:30:16,546
Yeah. And we are here for
the annual awards ceremony.
685
00:30:16,548 --> 00:30:17,681
Oh!
686
00:30:18,149 --> 00:30:19,249
The handies.
687
00:30:19,251 --> 00:30:21,118
- Congratulations.
- Fuck, yeah. Thank you.
688
00:30:21,120 --> 00:30:23,420
That would explain the tuxedos.
689
00:30:23,422 --> 00:30:26,089
No, not really,
but please, go on.
690
00:30:26,091 --> 00:30:27,357
You're nominated for an award.
691
00:30:27,359 --> 00:30:30,427
Well, I'm nominated
for best technique,
692
00:30:30,429 --> 00:30:32,896
and bowie's nominated
for best...
693
00:30:32,898 --> 00:30:34,164
Best oral.
694
00:30:34,166 --> 00:30:35,264
- Sup?
- Gross.
695
00:30:35,266 --> 00:30:38,134
- Ew, that's disgusting.
- No, it's different in the massage community.
696
00:30:38,136 --> 00:30:40,537
It just means good
table-side, uh, banter.
697
00:30:40,539 --> 00:30:42,539
Uh, banter. So good.
698
00:30:42,541 --> 00:30:44,508
Oh, fuck! Jesus Christ.
699
00:30:44,510 --> 00:30:46,409
What happened? What is this?
What are you doing?
700
00:30:46,411 --> 00:30:47,644
Oh, my god. Get down.
701
00:30:51,215 --> 00:30:52,415
What the hell was that?
702
00:30:52,417 --> 00:30:54,317
Oh, shit. Fuck.
703
00:30:54,319 --> 00:30:55,485
Who cares?
704
00:30:55,487 --> 00:30:57,554
Oh, my god.
I thought that was my husband.
705
00:30:57,556 --> 00:30:58,654
Who's your husband?
706
00:30:58,656 --> 00:31:01,857
Not someone you want to catch
you with his wife in a hot tub.
707
00:31:02,026 --> 00:31:04,060
Oh, god.
I fuckin' ruined the weed.
708
00:31:04,062 --> 00:31:05,962
Shit. All of it.
709
00:31:05,964 --> 00:31:07,864
I'm sorry.
710
00:31:07,866 --> 00:31:09,599
Well, you know
what that means, boys.
711
00:31:11,569 --> 00:31:13,470
Just, kinda,
feel each other up, now?
712
00:31:14,238 --> 00:31:16,173
- Okay, buh-bye.
- Byes.
713
00:31:16,541 --> 00:31:17,607
Hey, um...
714
00:31:18,643 --> 00:31:20,210
Sorry.
715
00:31:20,212 --> 00:31:21,912
No, no. It's okay.
716
00:31:21,914 --> 00:31:23,313
This was, uh...
717
00:31:23,315 --> 00:31:25,982
I wanna say fun,
but it was more interesting.
718
00:31:27,118 --> 00:31:28,585
How do I feel like I know you?
719
00:31:29,954 --> 00:31:31,188
Oh, I don't know.
720
00:31:31,190 --> 00:31:33,190
I guess I just
have one of those faces.
721
00:31:33,192 --> 00:31:36,259
No. Yours is a face
I definitely wouldn't forget.
722
00:31:38,429 --> 00:31:39,696
Wow.
723
00:31:39,698 --> 00:31:45,735
That was, like, page one of the
douchebag pickup handbook, right there.
724
00:31:45,737 --> 00:31:49,339
I'll take shitty Justin Bieber
lyrics for $1,000, Alex.
725
00:31:49,341 --> 00:31:52,275
- I'll get outta here. You don't have to see me again.
- No, no, no, no.
726
00:31:52,277 --> 00:31:54,377
I really hope
I get to see you again.
727
00:31:55,146 --> 00:31:56,913
I hope you get to see...
728
00:31:57,615 --> 00:31:59,249
I mean...
729
00:31:59,251 --> 00:32:00,450
I think you know what I mean.
730
00:32:00,452 --> 00:32:01,518
Yes.
731
00:32:01,520 --> 00:32:02,652
- Okay.
- Okay.
732
00:32:02,654 --> 00:32:04,754
- Okay, then. It's settled.
- Settled.
733
00:32:04,756 --> 00:32:05,855
Hey, tux-o.
734
00:32:05,857 --> 00:32:07,390
- Let's fucking go.
- I'm coming.
735
00:32:07,392 --> 00:32:08,959
I'm gonna go. Thank you.
736
00:32:08,961 --> 00:32:10,993
- Coming. I'm high as shit, man.
- Gotta get food.
737
00:32:10,995 --> 00:32:12,195
Don't embarrass me.
738
00:32:12,197 --> 00:32:14,764
It was nice to meet you, tux-o.
739
00:32:14,766 --> 00:32:17,834
She called you tux-o.
740
00:32:17,836 --> 00:32:20,136
Massage therapist?
What the fuck was I thinking?
741
00:32:20,138 --> 00:32:21,671
I dunno, but it was genius.
742
00:32:21,673 --> 00:32:23,473
Did you have that one
loaded in the chamber,
743
00:32:23,475 --> 00:32:25,341
or was that just
off the top of your head, man?
744
00:32:25,343 --> 00:32:26,876
- Nope, that was
right out of my ass.
745
00:32:26,878 --> 00:32:28,611
And when did you become
leisure suit Larry?
746
00:32:28,613 --> 00:32:31,781
Oh, I wish I was leisure suit Larry.
That guy's awesome.
747
00:32:31,783 --> 00:32:34,751
"Oh yeah. I'm nominated
for best oral, ha ha!"
748
00:32:34,753 --> 00:32:36,853
"Let me finger-bang you
with my wizard hand."
749
00:32:36,855 --> 00:32:39,522
- That's not how I laugh.
- That's exactly how you sound, man.
750
00:32:39,524 --> 00:32:42,125
Either way, I never said "finger-bang
you with my magical wizard hands."
751
00:32:42,127 --> 00:32:43,526
Well, you might as well have.
752
00:32:43,528 --> 00:32:45,895
The shit you were saying back
there didn't even make sense.
753
00:32:45,897 --> 00:32:47,931
Harry, look around.
754
00:32:47,933 --> 00:32:49,866
We're in a fast and the
furious movie right now.
755
00:32:49,868 --> 00:32:51,568
Nothing has to make sense.
756
00:32:51,702 --> 00:32:52,936
Dude.
757
00:32:52,938 --> 00:32:54,437
This is the stripper flight.
758
00:32:55,940 --> 00:32:57,474
Okay. What's a stripper flight?
759
00:32:57,476 --> 00:33:00,143
Stripper flight is this legendary
flight from Tampa to Vegas,
760
00:33:00,145 --> 00:33:01,243
filled with strippers.
761
00:33:01,245 --> 00:33:04,481
Because everyone knows the two meccas for
strip clubs are Tampa and Vegas, right?
762
00:33:04,483 --> 00:33:06,583
Oh. Yeah, I think that was
a question on my Lsats.
763
00:33:06,585 --> 00:33:09,119
So, all the best strippers
work both places.
764
00:33:09,121 --> 00:33:11,187
Tampa, weekdays.
Vegas, weekends.
765
00:33:11,189 --> 00:33:12,455
There's this one flight.
766
00:33:12,457 --> 00:33:14,457
According to legend,
every Thursday night,
767
00:33:14,459 --> 00:33:17,527
the hottest strippers in Tampa
get on the same plane to Vegas.
768
00:33:17,529 --> 00:33:20,930
And Vegas is a 24-hour town, so
they get on that plane ready to go.
769
00:33:20,932 --> 00:33:22,432
You know, time is money.
770
00:33:22,434 --> 00:33:24,032
And you can't just, like,
buy a ticket.
771
00:33:24,034 --> 00:33:27,003
It's not like these flights are
advertised as the stripper flight.
772
00:33:27,005 --> 00:33:29,172
They're totally random
and unpredictable.
773
00:33:29,174 --> 00:33:30,874
Dude, just like strippers.
774
00:33:30,876 --> 00:33:33,076
But every now and then,
the stars align,
775
00:33:33,078 --> 00:33:35,412
and some lucky bastard
gets bumped off his flight,
776
00:33:36,447 --> 00:33:39,649
and finds himself
on the stripper flight.
777
00:33:39,651 --> 00:33:41,618
And if you ever end up
on the stripper flight,
778
00:33:41,620 --> 00:33:45,422
you owe it to yourself
to go balls out.
779
00:33:45,505 --> 00:33:46,824
Ladies and gentlemen,
780
00:33:46,825 --> 00:33:50,694
as you can see, the captain has
turned off the fasten seatbelt sign.
781
00:33:50,696 --> 00:33:52,256
You are now free
to get your freak on.
782
00:34:12,550 --> 00:34:13,883
Yeah!
783
00:34:13,885 --> 00:34:16,052
Okay.
Not my most profound story...
784
00:34:16,054 --> 00:34:17,454
Yeah, but maybe your longest.
785
00:34:17,456 --> 00:34:19,122
But either way,
look at yesterday.
786
00:34:19,124 --> 00:34:20,457
You were this close
to marrying a woman
787
00:34:20,459 --> 00:34:21,958
who was time-sharing her vagina,
788
00:34:21,960 --> 00:34:23,058
and look at today.
789
00:34:23,060 --> 00:34:26,396
You already spent the afternoon with a
bunch of banging-hot sorority chicks
790
00:34:26,398 --> 00:34:27,497
in a hot tub.
791
00:34:27,499 --> 00:34:29,399
Okay, dickhead.
You're 30 years old.
792
00:34:29,401 --> 00:34:31,167
So are they. They're just
called women, now.
793
00:34:31,169 --> 00:34:33,937
Either way. I bet there's gonna be
a bunch of hot sorority "women"
794
00:34:33,939 --> 00:34:36,005
at this dope house party
I'm about to take you to.
795
00:34:36,007 --> 00:34:37,907
Well, we're in the middle
of nowhere.
796
00:34:37,909 --> 00:34:39,007
We look like assholes.
797
00:34:39,009 --> 00:34:42,812
And this dope-ass house party is
definitely going to be a meth lab.
798
00:34:42,814 --> 00:34:44,581
I bet the party's this way.
799
00:34:44,583 --> 00:34:47,150
Oh, directly into the jungle?
Yeah, that makes sense.
800
00:34:53,157 --> 00:34:55,325
Nicest meth lab I've seen.
801
00:34:55,327 --> 00:34:56,760
How many meth labs
have you seen?
802
00:34:57,628 --> 00:34:58,962
Three.
803
00:34:58,964 --> 00:35:00,630
This is gonna be
fucking awesome.
804
00:35:05,035 --> 00:35:08,371
You know, takes a big man
not to say I told you so.
805
00:35:08,373 --> 00:35:09,706
Okay. Let's get it over with.
806
00:35:09,708 --> 00:35:11,441
Get what over with?
807
00:35:11,443 --> 00:35:13,443
- Just say it.
- What did you think I was gonna say?
808
00:35:13,445 --> 00:35:15,143
You're not gonna
trick me into saying it.
809
00:35:15,145 --> 00:35:17,679
- Trick you into saying what do you think?
- You're basically...
810
00:35:17,748 --> 00:35:20,016
Hello. We're here for the party.
811
00:35:29,493 --> 00:35:31,127
Oh. Thank you.
812
00:35:32,396 --> 00:35:34,664
I hope they're serving food
at this party. I'm starving.
813
00:35:34,666 --> 00:35:36,699
Me too, man.
I'm doing mints right now.
814
00:35:36,701 --> 00:35:39,102
Oh. I haven't brushed my teeth
since yesterday,
815
00:35:39,104 --> 00:35:40,203
so two birds.
816
00:35:40,205 --> 00:35:42,539
Cool. Pre meal, I guess.
817
00:35:42,541 --> 00:35:44,607
- Oh, baby. That sucks.
- Too big, it wouldn't work.
818
00:35:44,609 --> 00:35:45,969
Couldn't smoke it
at the same time.
819
00:35:46,578 --> 00:35:48,278
Guys, you made it.
820
00:35:48,280 --> 00:35:49,712
Like, I'm so glad
you got here, huh?
821
00:35:49,714 --> 00:35:50,847
So glad.
822
00:35:50,849 --> 00:35:51,981
I brought my friend, Harry.
823
00:35:51,983 --> 00:35:53,950
Oh, hi, friend Harry.
824
00:35:53,952 --> 00:35:56,619
Hey. So, you guys live here?
825
00:35:56,621 --> 00:35:58,119
This is our vacation home.
We just...
826
00:35:58,121 --> 00:36:00,957
We just come out here for one or
two months at a time when, uh...
827
00:36:00,959 --> 00:36:03,326
When Monte-Carlo's feeling
a little too chintzy.
828
00:36:03,328 --> 00:36:06,262
Yeah, Monte-Carlo. It's like
the Branson of the riviera.
829
00:36:06,264 --> 00:36:08,965
Yeah. Just gets...
It's too much sometimes.
830
00:36:08,967 --> 00:36:11,434
Lemme show you guys
around our little...
831
00:36:11,436 --> 00:36:12,735
Our little jungle abode.
832
00:36:14,139 --> 00:36:15,305
Have fun, boys.
833
00:36:15,307 --> 00:36:16,639
All right, eh. See ya.
834
00:36:16,641 --> 00:36:18,942
Hey, this place
fucking rules, dude.
835
00:36:18,944 --> 00:36:20,109
Oh, thanks, man. Thanks.
836
00:36:20,111 --> 00:36:21,744
- Hey, Marcel.
- Hello, monsieur.
837
00:36:21,746 --> 00:36:24,113
How're you doing?
This is my head chef, Marcel.
838
00:36:24,115 --> 00:36:25,582
Dude, you got a head chef?
839
00:36:25,584 --> 00:36:27,984
Marcel, these are my pals,
Harry and bowie.
840
00:36:27,986 --> 00:36:29,084
Pleasure to meet you.
841
00:36:29,086 --> 00:36:31,855
We stole him from one of those real
fancy restaurants over in Europe.
842
00:36:31,857 --> 00:36:34,057
You know, the kind where they
don't let you wear shorts,
843
00:36:34,059 --> 00:36:35,625
and you can't even
bring your own beer.
844
00:36:35,627 --> 00:36:36,893
One of those dumps, you know.
845
00:36:36,895 --> 00:36:38,194
Ugh, yeah.
846
00:36:38,196 --> 00:36:39,429
Cost me a fortune, man.
847
00:36:39,431 --> 00:36:43,466
This guy can make an omelet
you just wanna fuck.
848
00:36:43,468 --> 00:36:44,934
Hey, Kenny.
This place is amazing.
849
00:36:44,936 --> 00:36:47,704
I love how nothing matches.
850
00:36:47,706 --> 00:36:49,272
- Thanks, man. Thanks.
- Yeah, it's fun.
851
00:36:49,274 --> 00:36:50,472
- I like it.
- What do you do?
852
00:36:50,474 --> 00:36:52,876
Well, I like to think of myself
as an inventor, you know.
853
00:36:52,878 --> 00:36:55,712
Some of it's
alternative licensing.
854
00:36:55,714 --> 00:36:57,647
Like, have you heard of
the George foreman grill?
855
00:36:57,649 --> 00:37:00,416
- Oh, yeah. You came up with the George foreman grill?
- Dude. No way.
856
00:37:00,418 --> 00:37:02,952
No, no, no. There's a Larry Holmes
hot plate. Look at that guy.
857
00:37:02,954 --> 00:37:03,986
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
858
00:37:03,988 --> 00:37:05,321
Marcel's a wizard on that thing.
859
00:37:05,323 --> 00:37:06,956
Look, look. Out there.
You see out there?
860
00:37:06,958 --> 00:37:08,625
People under that, uh,
under the blanket,
861
00:37:08,627 --> 00:37:10,126
with all of the sleeves
cut out of it?
862
00:37:10,128 --> 00:37:11,694
- Well, I'll be. No way.
- No, no, no.
863
00:37:11,696 --> 00:37:13,863
That is a squilt.
That is a squilt.
864
00:37:13,865 --> 00:37:15,732
There's a trademark
on the other thing.
865
00:37:15,734 --> 00:37:16,866
Some lawsuits pending.
866
00:37:16,868 --> 00:37:18,568
If it is, uh,
agreeable with monsieur,
867
00:37:18,570 --> 00:37:20,236
- I started serving the hors d'oeuvres.
- Mmm-hmm.
868
00:37:20,238 --> 00:37:22,906
We have a saffron-infused
lobster mini-cake,
869
00:37:22,908 --> 00:37:25,708
- served on a jalapeño dill crouton bread.
- Ooh.
870
00:37:25,710 --> 00:37:27,911
- Mmm. That sounds really good.
- That sounds amazing.
871
00:37:27,913 --> 00:37:29,479
- Mmm-hmm.
- I mean, that's agreeable, yeah.
872
00:37:29,481 --> 00:37:30,980
- Know what else is agreeable, though?
- Hmm?
873
00:37:30,982 --> 00:37:33,416
Bagel bites. Ha ha, yeah, man.
874
00:37:33,418 --> 00:37:34,617
- Bagel bites, monsieur?
- Yeah.
875
00:37:34,619 --> 00:37:36,452
You know. It's the...
It's the...
876
00:37:36,454 --> 00:37:37,654
It's like a little pizza
877
00:37:37,656 --> 00:37:39,088
but it's on a bagel,
878
00:37:39,090 --> 00:37:40,490
and you just... you bite it.
879
00:37:40,492 --> 00:37:42,659
We got some in the freezer,
pop in the microwave.
880
00:37:42,661 --> 00:37:45,194
I tried to make my own.
Inventor.
881
00:37:45,196 --> 00:37:47,964
Uh, mini muffin munchers...
That's what I call 'em, but...
882
00:37:47,966 --> 00:37:50,166
Can't fuck with perfection, man.
883
00:37:50,168 --> 00:37:51,467
They nailed it. They nailed it.
884
00:37:51,469 --> 00:37:53,903
But those lobster croutons
sound amazing.
885
00:37:53,905 --> 00:37:55,705
You can make the other things,
too, a couple of those.
886
00:37:55,707 --> 00:37:58,708
Bagel bites. Your culinary
wish is my command.
887
00:38:01,146 --> 00:38:02,912
Gracias.
888
00:38:03,681 --> 00:38:04,980
Dude, you speak that language?
889
00:38:04,982 --> 00:38:07,283
No, no. I just don't want him
to feel left out, you know.
890
00:38:07,285 --> 00:38:08,851
It's pretty, though.
Sounds so pretty.
891
00:38:08,853 --> 00:38:11,687
Can I show you what I really do for
a living, though? My true passion.
892
00:38:11,689 --> 00:38:13,455
- You wanna see it?
- Oh, fuck, yeah, Kenny.
893
00:38:13,457 --> 00:38:15,423
- You go check it out.
- Okay, come on. Come here.
894
00:38:15,425 --> 00:38:16,992
I can't wait to.
It's gonna be so rad.
895
00:38:17,027 --> 00:38:18,127
Mints.
896
00:38:29,573 --> 00:38:31,240
Hey.
897
00:38:31,242 --> 00:38:32,775
I didn't know
you were gonna be here.
898
00:38:32,777 --> 00:38:34,310
- Hi.
- What're you doing here?
899
00:38:34,312 --> 00:38:37,680
Oh, uh, yeah. I just, uh,
came from a night dive.
900
00:38:37,682 --> 00:38:39,782
If I didn't find these shoes
in the bottom of my bag,
901
00:38:39,784 --> 00:38:41,317
I'd be standing here
in flippers.
902
00:38:41,319 --> 00:38:42,385
You look great.
903
00:38:42,387 --> 00:38:44,320
Aw, thanks. You're so sweet.
904
00:38:44,322 --> 00:38:47,323
You look exactly the same.
905
00:38:47,325 --> 00:38:49,225
- What? No.
906
00:38:49,227 --> 00:38:50,393
No, this is different.
907
00:38:51,929 --> 00:38:54,597
That was my beach tux.
908
00:38:54,599 --> 00:38:56,132
Oh, yeah. It's all right.
909
00:38:56,134 --> 00:38:57,800
Yeah.
This is my cocktail t-shirt.
910
00:38:58,569 --> 00:38:59,802
Obviously.
911
00:39:02,006 --> 00:39:05,441
This... this is my lab, huh.
912
00:39:05,443 --> 00:39:07,644
Fuckin' Harry was right.
Jesus...
913
00:39:08,847 --> 00:39:09,946
Kenny!
914
00:39:10,481 --> 00:39:11,981
You devil. What is this?
915
00:39:11,983 --> 00:39:13,549
Yeah, I know.
916
00:39:13,551 --> 00:39:16,986
Yeah. We're the premiere
manufacturer and retailer
917
00:39:16,988 --> 00:39:20,323
of alternatively-sized and
uniquely-shaped pleasure products
918
00:39:20,325 --> 00:39:21,823
- in the western hemisphere.
- Okay.
919
00:39:21,825 --> 00:39:25,094
Yeah, yeah. Well, I'm not trying to compete
with Japan. They're on another level.
920
00:39:25,096 --> 00:39:26,394
Yeah, they're the number ones?
921
00:39:26,396 --> 00:39:29,265
Yeah, they do all kinds of stuff with
real dolls and, like, fuck squids.
922
00:39:29,267 --> 00:39:31,534
Anyway, so yeah. Marthy
calls this my fuck factory.
923
00:39:31,536 --> 00:39:33,269
Dude. Uniquely-shaped,
alternatively-sized.
924
00:39:33,271 --> 00:39:35,104
All right. What is this?
What is this?
925
00:39:35,106 --> 00:39:36,506
Oh. Oh, this one here.
Okay, this guy.
926
00:39:36,508 --> 00:39:37,607
This is a top seller.
927
00:39:37,609 --> 00:39:39,242
Now, say you got a gal.
She's in the mood,
928
00:39:39,244 --> 00:39:41,210
but she has, like, a very, um,
929
00:39:41,212 --> 00:39:43,179
shallow, wide vagina.
930
00:39:43,181 --> 00:39:44,313
- Okay.
- It happens.
931
00:39:44,315 --> 00:39:45,848
- Yeah. No, no. I know.
- You know, we're all...
932
00:39:45,850 --> 00:39:48,551
It's the differences that
makes us, uh, a whole thing.
933
00:39:48,553 --> 00:39:50,019
Now, something like this.
Something like this.
934
00:39:50,021 --> 00:39:51,354
Look, this is gonna
brutalize her.
935
00:39:51,356 --> 00:39:53,356
This is gonna... this is gonna
936
00:39:53,358 --> 00:39:54,590
puncture a lung. You know?
937
00:39:54,592 --> 00:39:56,292
This is like an NBA player
938
00:39:56,294 --> 00:39:57,427
diving into a kiddie pool.
939
00:39:57,429 --> 00:39:58,695
You can't deal with this.
940
00:39:58,697 --> 00:40:00,563
This is gonna hit
all the erogenous zones,
941
00:40:00,565 --> 00:40:02,965
but not go too deep
and, uh, cause discomfort.
942
00:40:02,967 --> 00:40:04,801
That's the little miss muff
right there.
943
00:40:04,803 --> 00:40:07,870
- Feel that, that's just, the consistency's there.
- Dude, they're the same.
944
00:40:07,872 --> 00:40:10,172
- Yeah, yeah. I know.
- This one, what is this one, Kenny?
945
00:40:10,174 --> 00:40:12,108
Okay, oh. This, this one,
this is our sidewinder.
946
00:40:12,110 --> 00:40:15,411
Uh, this is for, like, okay. You're a
guy, you're in the mood all the time.
947
00:40:15,413 --> 00:40:17,647
But you're more of a
boomerang than a bow staff.
948
00:40:17,649 --> 00:40:19,315
- Hmm.
- You know what I'm saying? Rhino.
949
00:40:19,317 --> 00:40:20,583
Rhino... that's you?
950
00:40:20,585 --> 00:40:21,851
Buddy.
951
00:40:21,853 --> 00:40:23,920
So that's gonna go
right on there,
952
00:40:23,922 --> 00:40:25,054
and it's gonna hit
all the spots...
953
00:40:25,056 --> 00:40:26,989
No, I know.
I can visualize it for sure.
954
00:40:26,991 --> 00:40:28,391
Dude, how do you
come up with this shit?
955
00:40:28,393 --> 00:40:29,859
This is, fucking, so smart.
956
00:40:29,861 --> 00:40:32,028
Well, I mean,
I've always been a tinkerer.
957
00:40:32,030 --> 00:40:33,728
You know, they've got
big and tall stores
958
00:40:33,730 --> 00:40:36,399
for clothes, they've got that. But,
uh, it's like the same concept,
959
00:40:36,501 --> 00:40:38,768
but I just applied it
to, uh, your fuck parts.
960
00:40:38,770 --> 00:40:40,136
Fucking genius.
961
00:40:40,138 --> 00:40:41,604
It's why I live in a mansion,
man.
962
00:40:42,806 --> 00:40:44,107
Kenny, is that
your product shot?
963
00:40:44,109 --> 00:40:46,309
Yeah, yeah, that's
Martha's idea, you know,
964
00:40:46,311 --> 00:40:47,609
we gotta get the brand
out there,
965
00:40:47,611 --> 00:40:50,747
she's like, "we gotta put a face
to the name of the company,"
966
00:40:50,749 --> 00:40:54,016
so we're trying to be the Billy Mays
of dildos, and everything, you know?
967
00:40:54,018 --> 00:40:55,084
Yeah, but he died, though.
968
00:40:55,486 --> 00:40:56,552
What?
969
00:40:59,189 --> 00:41:01,090
Mmm.
970
00:41:02,259 --> 00:41:04,827
- To random encounters.
971
00:41:04,829 --> 00:41:09,132
So, I have a tiny confession
to make.
972
00:41:09,134 --> 00:41:12,101
- Okay.
- I knew I was going to see you here tonight.
973
00:41:12,103 --> 00:41:15,138
- You did?
- That's why I decided to cut my dive short
974
00:41:15,140 --> 00:41:16,773
and get all dressed up.
975
00:41:17,674 --> 00:41:19,142
How did you know
about the party?
976
00:41:19,144 --> 00:41:20,877
Oh, it's not that big an island.
977
00:41:20,879 --> 00:41:23,813
You ask the right people the right
questions you can find out anything.
978
00:41:23,815 --> 00:41:25,348
What else do I not
know about you?
979
00:41:26,150 --> 00:41:28,317
Oh, I am full of secrets...
980
00:41:29,953 --> 00:41:33,456
- Well, I have a tiny confession to make as well.
- Uh-oh.
981
00:41:33,458 --> 00:41:36,826
Things just got interesting.
Mmm, let me guess.
982
00:41:36,828 --> 00:41:38,060
You're a spy.
983
00:41:38,062 --> 00:41:39,160
Nope.
984
00:41:39,162 --> 00:41:41,697
The real Harry is just some guy
you left in a ditch somewhere?
985
00:41:41,699 --> 00:41:45,368
Wow, that took
a sharp left turn. No.
986
00:41:45,370 --> 00:41:48,171
Is serial killer
always your second go-to?
987
00:41:48,173 --> 00:41:50,639
I don't know why more people don't
ask that right off the bat.
988
00:41:50,641 --> 00:41:53,309
I mean, I think it's a pretty
important thing to know.
989
00:41:53,311 --> 00:41:55,951
- Why, have you killed somebody before?
- Uh-uh, I asked you first.
990
00:41:57,080 --> 00:41:58,815
- Not that I know of.
991
00:42:00,951 --> 00:42:05,121
So, what was your non-serial
killer confession?
992
00:42:05,489 --> 00:42:07,156
Oh...
993
00:42:08,025 --> 00:42:09,091
I'm not really...
994
00:42:11,862 --> 00:42:13,796
I'm not really
a big fan of the ocean.
995
00:42:13,798 --> 00:42:16,833
What? What? How
can you not like the ocean?
996
00:42:16,835 --> 00:42:20,369
That's like saying you don't like music
or are not that big a fan of food.
997
00:42:20,371 --> 00:42:22,238
Let me clarify. I used to
like the ocean,
998
00:42:22,240 --> 00:42:25,007
and then I saw this monster hunters
episode where they go looking
999
00:42:25,009 --> 00:42:28,978
for the giant squid, and then ever since
then, haven't stepped foot in the water.
1000
00:42:28,980 --> 00:42:31,647
The Kraken episode,
that is my favorite episode!
1001
00:42:31,649 --> 00:42:34,016
- Yes. It is?
- Totally!
1002
00:42:34,018 --> 00:42:36,051
Like when they find out
there's thousands of squid
1003
00:42:36,053 --> 00:42:38,421
just hanging out a few hundred
feet below the ocean surface?
1004
00:42:38,423 --> 00:42:40,122
- The squid superhighway!
- Superhighway!
1005
00:42:40,124 --> 00:42:41,757
Scariest fucking thing
I've ever seen!
1006
00:42:41,759 --> 00:42:43,759
Oh, come on, it's not
scary, it's fascinating.
1007
00:42:43,761 --> 00:42:46,729
How they all came up to that one
squid, put the camera on him,
1008
00:42:46,731 --> 00:42:50,199
and instead of attacking him they
were just curious and looking at him,
1009
00:42:50,201 --> 00:42:51,667
it was like, it was so cute.
1010
00:42:51,669 --> 00:42:54,770
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Teddy bears are cute.
1011
00:42:54,772 --> 00:42:56,505
Penguins are cute.
1012
00:42:56,507 --> 00:42:59,342
Super-intelligent squid?
Nightmare fucking material.
1013
00:42:59,344 --> 00:43:02,545
Oh, come on.
It doesn't sound amazing?
1014
00:43:02,547 --> 00:43:04,113
It's like that ll cool j movie.
1015
00:43:04,115 --> 00:43:05,213
No!
1016
00:43:05,215 --> 00:43:08,251
I mean, yes on the ll cool j movie,
except that was with sharks.
1017
00:43:08,253 --> 00:43:10,286
But no on the giant squid.
1018
00:43:10,288 --> 00:43:12,622
They are like
the assholes of the ocean.
1019
00:43:12,624 --> 00:43:15,791
That's why all the deep-sea divers
had to wear those special wet suits
1020
00:43:15,793 --> 00:43:18,527
it had so much Chainmail on it,
it was basically bulletproof.
1021
00:43:18,529 --> 00:43:20,763
I know! How awesome is that?
1022
00:43:21,832 --> 00:43:24,066
Okay, like...
1023
00:43:24,068 --> 00:43:30,106
When you see something that is
beautiful and captivating and unknown,
1024
00:43:30,108 --> 00:43:31,974
don't you just wanna jump in?
1025
00:43:37,281 --> 00:43:38,381
No!
1026
00:43:38,383 --> 00:43:42,551
Not at all. In fact, ever
since I saw that episode,
1027
00:43:42,553 --> 00:43:45,488
I've been eating more
calamari, 'cause fuck squid.
1028
00:43:45,490 --> 00:43:50,259
Well, that's just too bad,
'cause I'm part squid, you know?
1029
00:43:50,261 --> 00:43:52,728
- Oh, you are?
- Uh-huh. On my mother's side.
1030
00:43:52,730 --> 00:43:53,890
They're from northern Europe.
1031
00:43:54,898 --> 00:43:58,067
You don't look squid-ish at all.
1032
00:43:58,069 --> 00:43:59,835
Well, check it out.
1033
00:44:03,907 --> 00:44:05,007
It's a Gill.
1034
00:44:06,276 --> 00:44:07,476
How'd you do that?
1035
00:44:09,546 --> 00:44:11,113
Same way I did this.
1036
00:44:13,417 --> 00:44:15,785
This is for my aunt Bernice.
1037
00:44:25,796 --> 00:44:26,862
Fuck squid!
1038
00:44:27,297 --> 00:44:28,731
Harry?
1039
00:44:28,733 --> 00:44:31,167
Harry, are you okay?
1040
00:44:31,169 --> 00:44:33,703
- What happened?
- I don't know, you just kept saying
1041
00:44:33,705 --> 00:44:36,339
"fuck squid" over and over
again, and then you...
1042
00:44:36,341 --> 00:44:38,774
Okay, you know what?
This party is lame,
1043
00:44:38,776 --> 00:44:41,410
we're leaving. Are you
coming or are you staying?
1044
00:44:42,579 --> 00:44:44,814
What the fuck
are you looking at?
1045
00:44:44,816 --> 00:44:46,816
Are you having a stroke?
1046
00:44:50,854 --> 00:44:52,054
Hello?
1047
00:44:57,194 --> 00:44:59,929
What the fuck is wrong
with this guy?
1048
00:44:59,931 --> 00:45:01,831
Okay, you know what?
We're leaving.
1049
00:45:01,833 --> 00:45:04,834
Okay. Are you gonna be okay?
Bye, Harry.
1050
00:45:08,238 --> 00:45:09,405
Fuck squid.
1051
00:45:12,810 --> 00:45:16,278
So this guy, he's like, "hey,
man, that's not a wrench,"
1052
00:45:16,280 --> 00:45:18,614
and I was like, "don't worry,
I'm not a mechanic!"
1053
00:45:21,986 --> 00:45:24,706
Oh, man, that was... I didn't see
that one coming, man. That's great.
1054
00:45:25,589 --> 00:45:28,391
Thanks, Kenny. Thanks, Martha.
1055
00:45:28,393 --> 00:45:30,860
I just want to say thanks
for inviting us over here,
1056
00:45:30,862 --> 00:45:31,960
you guys are so cool.
1057
00:45:31,962 --> 00:45:34,964
You thought you were going to a
meth lab in the woods, didn't you?
1058
00:45:34,966 --> 00:45:37,232
- No, I didn't...
- That's what, that's what he thought.
1059
00:45:37,234 --> 00:45:39,735
Okay, for, like, a second!
Just for a second!
1060
00:45:39,737 --> 00:45:42,104
You don't know what you're
getting into!
1061
00:45:42,106 --> 00:45:45,608
No, man, now see, that's the thing,
like, I know what it looks like,
1062
00:45:45,610 --> 00:45:48,010
but we don't judge people here,
that's what's going on here.
1063
00:45:48,012 --> 00:45:49,110
I love that.
1064
00:45:49,212 --> 00:45:51,346
- Anybody can come, you do what you wanna do.
- Yes.
1065
00:45:51,348 --> 00:45:52,648
- You do who you wanna do.
- Yes.
1066
00:45:52,650 --> 00:45:54,717
I know it looks like
a lot of derelicts
1067
00:45:54,719 --> 00:45:57,319
and ne'er do Wells around here,
shady characters, you know?
1068
00:45:57,321 --> 00:46:01,557
But some of these people, some of
these people are Nobel prize winners,
1069
00:46:01,559 --> 00:46:03,059
- you know?
- Mmm-hmm. Mmm-hmm.
1070
00:46:03,061 --> 00:46:04,627
That guy won a Nobel prize?
1071
00:46:04,629 --> 00:46:07,730
Him, oh, no, no.
That's Jerry. Jerry's...
1072
00:46:07,732 --> 00:46:09,832
Jerry's got a crack problem.
1073
00:46:09,834 --> 00:46:11,667
Here, baby. Have one of these.
1074
00:46:11,669 --> 00:46:15,404
Martha, I can't have any more of these, I've
been fucking eating the shit out of them.
1075
00:46:15,406 --> 00:46:17,907
- So I'm full. You know.
- You ate a bunch of these?
1076
00:46:17,909 --> 00:46:19,942
Yeah, kind of for dinner.
1077
00:46:21,546 --> 00:46:23,245
What?
1078
00:46:23,247 --> 00:46:24,980
He ate them for dinner.
1079
00:46:26,617 --> 00:46:28,451
You wanted to get on our level.
1080
00:46:28,453 --> 00:46:30,653
You just did, man.
1081
00:46:30,655 --> 00:46:32,955
- With a bullet.
1082
00:46:32,957 --> 00:46:35,458
I hope that tux has
a seatbelt, buddy.
1083
00:46:35,460 --> 00:46:39,395
- These aren't mints?
- No, baby, these aren't just mints.
1084
00:46:39,397 --> 00:46:42,131
We found out these orgies always
turned out a little more fun
1085
00:46:42,133 --> 00:46:44,066
if everybody was tripping balls.
1086
00:46:44,068 --> 00:46:45,668
So we...
1087
00:46:45,670 --> 00:46:46,902
Ooh, speaking of balls.
1088
00:46:46,904 --> 00:46:48,204
Did you say orgy?
1089
00:46:48,206 --> 00:46:50,940
Here we go. What is it,
8:30 already?
1090
00:46:52,409 --> 00:46:54,577
Um, bowie, guess what type
of oreo I like best.
1091
00:46:55,245 --> 00:46:56,512
Can you guess?
1092
00:46:56,514 --> 00:46:58,914
Probably a double stuffed,
you're going to say?
1093
00:46:58,916 --> 00:47:00,549
How did you...
1094
00:47:00,551 --> 00:47:01,749
You heard that joke already.
1095
00:47:01,751 --> 00:47:04,953
I love that almost as much as I love getting
banged by two boys at the same time.
1096
00:47:04,955 --> 00:47:07,790
All right. Dealer's choice. Lightning
round. Let's go. Who wants what?
1097
00:47:07,792 --> 00:47:09,425
Yeah, look,
I gotta coach, so get...
1098
00:47:09,693 --> 00:47:11,393
Jesus Christ.
1099
00:47:11,395 --> 00:47:14,663
Look at the ass on this one.
Who's your dad, Michelangelo?
1100
00:47:14,665 --> 00:47:17,166
It's like two cantaloupes trying
to kiss each other back there.
1101
00:47:17,168 --> 00:47:19,668
Look at that. Let them even
move when you did that.
1102
00:47:19,670 --> 00:47:21,036
That's good.
1103
00:47:21,038 --> 00:47:24,473
That's a strong ass.
Just relax, man. Just relax.
1104
00:47:24,475 --> 00:47:26,494
Sweetie, do you want to get fucked?
Because,
1105
00:47:26,519 --> 00:47:28,110
no, no, you're a
guest in our home.
1106
00:47:28,112 --> 00:47:30,412
- You gotta loosen up.
- You fucked me, Kenny.
1107
00:47:30,414 --> 00:47:33,249
No, I mean somebody might
fuck you, but it wasn't me.
1108
00:47:43,226 --> 00:47:44,894
Gotta find Harry.
1109
00:47:51,067 --> 00:47:52,902
Gotta find Harry.
1110
00:47:55,639 --> 00:47:57,273
Gotta find Harry.
1111
00:48:01,311 --> 00:48:02,378
Gotta find Harry.
1112
00:48:04,848 --> 00:48:06,048
Gotta find Harry.
1113
00:48:06,165 --> 00:48:07,184
Gotta find Harry.
1114
00:48:07,185 --> 00:48:12,755
Fuck Harry. Let's go bury
ourselves in some man ass.
1115
00:48:12,757 --> 00:48:14,056
Who said that?
1116
00:48:14,058 --> 00:48:15,791
Down here!
1117
00:48:16,893 --> 00:48:18,627
What's up, motherfucker?
1118
00:48:19,596 --> 00:48:22,298
No. This is crazy. This is bad.
1119
00:48:22,300 --> 00:48:24,934
Oh, I know. This orgy
started 20 minutes ago,
1120
00:48:24,936 --> 00:48:28,504
and I haven't played reverse Jenga with
any of these fine pieces of man meat.
1121
00:48:28,506 --> 00:48:30,372
It's a tragedy!
1122
00:48:30,374 --> 00:48:32,775
How is that a tragedy? We're not
gay, that sounds crazy to me.
1123
00:48:32,777 --> 00:48:34,877
Speak for yourself, breeder.
1124
00:48:34,879 --> 00:48:36,111
What do you mean, I bang chicks!
1125
00:48:36,113 --> 00:48:38,414
Ugh, don't remind me.
I was there.
1126
00:48:38,416 --> 00:48:40,482
Yeah, so how are you gay? I don't
fucking get what you're saying.
1127
00:48:40,484 --> 00:48:41,717
Don't talk so loud.
1128
00:48:41,719 --> 00:48:43,352
Bitch, you're not
the boss of me.
1129
00:48:43,354 --> 00:48:44,852
You don't know everything
that I do.
1130
00:48:44,854 --> 00:48:49,490
Yeah, I thought I did. This is a real
betrayal I didn't see coming at all.
1131
00:48:51,294 --> 00:48:52,628
Harry.
1132
00:48:52,630 --> 00:48:53,829
- Harry.
- Hmm?
1133
00:48:53,831 --> 00:48:56,365
Harry, I'm freaking out, man.
1134
00:48:57,667 --> 00:48:58,734
Don't be rude.
1135
00:49:00,604 --> 00:49:01,670
Say hi to Jessica.
1136
00:49:04,841 --> 00:49:05,908
Hello.
1137
00:49:07,544 --> 00:49:09,024
How are you doing that
with your eyes?
1138
00:49:12,048 --> 00:49:13,115
I don't know.
1139
00:49:47,250 --> 00:49:50,819
Ten, 20, 30. Suppose we have ten fingers.
What if we had nine fingers?
1140
00:49:50,821 --> 00:49:53,589
Then what would it be?
Nine, eight, 27, 36.
1141
00:49:58,361 --> 00:50:00,896
Look at my times tables. I'm a
fucking times table wizard.
1142
00:50:00,898 --> 00:50:03,098
I remember in first grade
I couldn't do my times tables,
1143
00:50:03,100 --> 00:50:06,768
I cried so hard, the teacher just passed me
because she didn't want to deal with it.
1144
00:50:16,646 --> 00:50:18,326
Dude, my thoughts
are in Spanish right now.
1145
00:50:20,150 --> 00:50:21,830
That's fucked,
'cause I don't know Spanish.
1146
00:50:27,223 --> 00:50:28,290
Bowie.
1147
00:50:28,825 --> 00:50:30,759
What?
1148
00:50:30,761 --> 00:50:32,895
Christine never liked
regular red M&M's.
1149
00:50:33,897 --> 00:50:35,464
She thought they were boring.
1150
00:50:35,466 --> 00:50:36,532
That's weird.
1151
00:50:37,434 --> 00:50:39,134
She'd never eat a red M&M.
1152
00:50:40,070 --> 00:50:41,904
Never eat a red M&M.
1153
00:50:42,238 --> 00:50:43,972
Red M&M.
1154
00:50:43,974 --> 00:50:45,741
Maybe I'm just a regular
red M&M.
1155
00:50:47,578 --> 00:50:49,778
You are a regular red M&M.
1156
00:50:49,780 --> 00:50:52,014
There's so many other types
of M&M's.
1157
00:50:52,016 --> 00:50:54,917
I don't like when the M&M's
take their shells off...
1158
00:50:54,919 --> 00:50:57,286
And they pretend like
it's their clothes.
1159
00:50:57,288 --> 00:50:59,621
'Cause that's not their clothes.
That's their skin.
1160
00:51:00,156 --> 00:51:01,857
Dark chocolate M&M's.
1161
00:51:01,859 --> 00:51:02,925
Dark chocolate.
1162
00:51:03,326 --> 00:51:04,793
Pretzel M&M's.
1163
00:51:04,795 --> 00:51:06,695
- Pretzel.
- Mini M&M's.
1164
00:51:06,697 --> 00:51:09,798
- Mini.
- Pumpkin spice M&M's!
1165
00:51:09,800 --> 00:51:11,233
- Harry?
- Uh-huh?
1166
00:51:11,235 --> 00:51:12,768
You need to bust out
of your shell.
1167
00:51:12,770 --> 00:51:14,470
Oh.
1168
00:51:14,572 --> 00:51:16,612
That's a good metaphor
for what we're talking about.
1169
00:51:21,811 --> 00:51:24,012
I'm just an M&M!
1170
00:51:27,051 --> 00:51:29,251
I'm just an M&M.
1171
00:51:29,253 --> 00:51:31,420
I don't wanna be an M&M anymore.
1172
00:51:37,627 --> 00:51:39,261
I think my dick's gay, man.
1173
00:51:39,829 --> 00:51:40,896
Huh?
1174
00:51:52,208 --> 00:51:53,275
Good morning.
1175
00:51:56,312 --> 00:51:57,646
What happened?
1176
00:51:57,648 --> 00:51:58,714
I don't know.
1177
00:52:03,887 --> 00:52:04,953
Wait...
1178
00:52:05,688 --> 00:52:07,256
Is this crocodile Dundee ii?
1179
00:52:07,258 --> 00:52:08,724
Yeah.
1180
00:52:08,726 --> 00:52:10,959
You got up just in time, man,
this is my favorite part.
1181
00:52:10,961 --> 00:52:12,461
Oh, yeah.
1182
00:52:12,463 --> 00:52:14,663
This is where he switches
clothes with the bad guy
1183
00:52:14,665 --> 00:52:17,533
so that the other bad guys shoot
their boss instead of him.
1184
00:52:17,535 --> 00:52:18,600
- Yeah.
- It's genius.
1185
00:52:18,868 --> 00:52:19,935
So good.
1186
00:52:22,038 --> 00:52:23,918
You know what would make
this movie even better?
1187
00:52:24,007 --> 00:52:25,240
Danny Trejo?
1188
00:52:25,242 --> 00:52:26,708
Fucking right!
1189
00:52:26,710 --> 00:52:28,844
- Danny Trejo makes everything better.
- Yeah, he does.
1190
00:52:28,846 --> 00:52:32,181
Imagine crocodile Dundee ii
starring Danny Trejo...
1191
00:52:32,183 --> 00:52:33,481
Movie would be 10 minutes long.
1192
00:52:33,483 --> 00:52:36,451
They would just steal his girlfriend,
and then they'd call him and be like,
1193
00:52:36,453 --> 00:52:38,653
"hey, we have your girlfriend,"
and he'd just be like...
1194
00:52:40,090 --> 00:52:42,557
And then they would just send
her back with an apology letter
1195
00:52:42,559 --> 00:52:44,193
and a box of chocolates.
1196
00:52:44,195 --> 00:52:46,295
What about jaws
starring Danny Trejo?
1197
00:52:46,297 --> 00:52:48,664
- Okay, is Danny Trejo jaws?
- No.
1198
00:52:48,666 --> 00:52:52,201
Danny Trejo swims out into the
middle of the ocean to find jaws,
1199
00:52:52,203 --> 00:52:54,937
uppercuts jaws,
sends jaws in orbit,
1200
00:52:54,939 --> 00:52:58,674
and then Danny Trejo just stares into
the camera for an hour and a half.
1201
00:52:58,676 --> 00:53:01,109
Ooh. Independence day
starring Danny Trejo.
1202
00:53:01,111 --> 00:53:03,445
Danny Trejo rides his
motorcycle into space,
1203
00:53:03,447 --> 00:53:04,745
straight onto the
alien spaceship
1204
00:53:04,747 --> 00:53:08,350
and just looks at them all and goes,
"don't even fucking think about it."
1205
00:53:08,452 --> 00:53:10,652
And then aliens are like,
"sorry," and they leave,
1206
00:53:10,654 --> 00:53:12,654
and then Danny Trejo just
goes to will Smith like,
1207
00:53:12,756 --> 00:53:15,023
"quit fucking around
and start rapping."
1208
00:53:15,025 --> 00:53:17,259
Castaway starring Danny Trejo.
1209
00:53:17,261 --> 00:53:19,728
Where it's just Trejo?
I like a just Trejo film.
1210
00:53:19,730 --> 00:53:22,564
Except for the volleyball,
which is also Danny Trejo.
1211
00:53:22,566 --> 00:53:24,833
Indiana Trejo, where, the...
1212
00:53:24,835 --> 00:53:28,403
That he opens up the ark of the covenant
and then the ark of the covenant melts.
1213
00:53:28,405 --> 00:53:30,739
- Mmm.
- 'Cause it saw Danny Trejo.
1214
00:53:30,741 --> 00:53:33,542
What if, instead of fight
club, it's Danny Trejo club.
1215
00:53:33,544 --> 00:53:36,211
Danny Trejo is...
Mrs. Doubtfire.
1216
00:53:36,213 --> 00:53:38,046
- Ooh.
- "Toodeloo."
1217
00:53:38,615 --> 00:53:40,082
"I miss my kids."
1218
00:53:40,084 --> 00:53:42,484
- What about Sophie's choice starring Danny Trejo.
- Ooh.
1219
00:53:42,486 --> 00:53:45,621
So Danny Trejo has to decide
between two other Danny Trejos.
1220
00:53:45,623 --> 00:53:48,090
- So that's a triple Trejo.
- Talking about a triple Trejo.
1221
00:53:48,092 --> 00:53:51,693
Ooh. The lion king,
after Mufasa held up Simba,
1222
00:53:51,695 --> 00:53:55,163
the camera turns around, and it's not
Simba, it's goddamn Danny Trejo.
1223
00:53:55,165 --> 00:53:56,632
- Mmm.
- And then Mufasa's like,
1224
00:53:56,634 --> 00:53:58,267
"everything the light touches,
1225
00:53:58,269 --> 00:54:01,103
"except for the elephant graveyard," and
Danny Trejo's like, "fuck you, dude,"
1226
00:54:01,105 --> 00:54:03,138
and he goes straight to the
elephant graveyard, and guess what?
1227
00:54:03,140 --> 00:54:04,273
That's his now, too.
1228
00:54:14,317 --> 00:54:15,484
Oh, yes.
1229
00:54:16,119 --> 00:54:17,185
Thank you.
1230
00:54:18,988 --> 00:54:20,822
- Got the bags!
- Yes!
1231
00:54:20,824 --> 00:54:22,424
Can't wait to get out
of these tuxedos.
1232
00:54:22,426 --> 00:54:24,192
Yeah, I've been needing
this guy.
1233
00:54:24,861 --> 00:54:26,028
All right.
1234
00:54:27,397 --> 00:54:28,463
Yes.
1235
00:54:29,198 --> 00:54:30,999
This is your go bag?
1236
00:54:31,001 --> 00:54:32,067
Booze and candy?
1237
00:54:32,069 --> 00:54:33,902
What would be in your go bag?
1238
00:54:33,904 --> 00:54:36,204
I dunno, maybe a toothbrush,
some socks...
1239
00:54:36,206 --> 00:54:39,041
No, man, I wanna have some
fun if I need to leave town.
1240
00:54:39,043 --> 00:54:40,323
Dig around. You're gonna
love it.
1241
00:54:41,210 --> 00:54:42,444
Nice. Baseball cards.
1242
00:54:42,446 --> 00:54:44,513
Yeah, I've been thinking,
and in the future,
1243
00:54:44,515 --> 00:54:46,315
money will end up being
valueless,
1244
00:54:46,317 --> 00:54:48,550
but you know what people will
always Cherish and want?
1245
00:54:48,552 --> 00:54:49,785
Ken Griffey Jr.
1246
00:54:51,387 --> 00:54:53,655
- Whoa!
- Fuck man, what the shit?
1247
00:54:53,657 --> 00:54:55,190
That is not my bag.
1248
00:54:55,192 --> 00:54:56,290
Yeah, I know.
1249
00:54:56,292 --> 00:54:59,094
I think I'd figure it out if my best
friend was fucking Pablo Escobar.
1250
00:54:59,096 --> 00:55:01,229
What are you doing? How did
this fucking get here?
1251
00:55:01,231 --> 00:55:02,998
Hello?
1252
00:55:03,000 --> 00:55:04,800
- Hi. The door was open.
- Hey, Colette.
1253
00:55:05,468 --> 00:55:07,336
- Hi.
- Do you want some, uh...
1254
00:55:07,338 --> 00:55:09,638
- Some salt water Taffy?
- No, we don't have a lot of it.
1255
00:55:09,640 --> 00:55:11,573
No thanks, I'm good.
1256
00:55:11,575 --> 00:55:14,676
I just came by because Angela wants
to hire you for us for the day.
1257
00:55:15,778 --> 00:55:16,845
Okay, for what?
1258
00:55:17,780 --> 00:55:19,348
Massages.
1259
00:55:19,350 --> 00:55:23,251
- Oh, yes. Because that's...
- That's what we do. That's what we do.
1260
00:55:23,253 --> 00:55:24,319
That's who we are.
1261
00:55:25,154 --> 00:55:26,253
Great.
1262
00:55:26,255 --> 00:55:29,091
So we'll come... You should go,
you go get ready on the yacht.
1263
00:55:29,093 --> 00:55:31,026
Yeah, we'll freshen up, and...
1264
00:55:31,028 --> 00:55:32,588
- We'll meet you there.
- Just go ahead.
1265
00:55:33,496 --> 00:55:34,896
Okay, yeah. I'll see you there.
1266
00:55:35,331 --> 00:55:36,398
Okay.
1267
00:55:37,867 --> 00:55:38,966
- Oh, my god.
- Oh, my god.
1268
00:55:38,968 --> 00:55:43,237
You figure out what to do with this, um,
I'm gonna go get us some clothes, okay?
1269
00:55:47,844 --> 00:55:50,012
You couldn't
find anything better?
1270
00:55:50,014 --> 00:55:51,513
I wouldn't be caught dead
in this.
1271
00:55:51,515 --> 00:55:54,149
This is by far the coolest stuff
they had at the gift shop.
1272
00:55:54,151 --> 00:55:56,118
We look like extras
on Magnum, p.I.
1273
00:55:56,120 --> 00:55:57,986
Okay, how is that a bad thing?
1274
00:55:58,588 --> 00:55:59,655
Tom Selleck?
1275
00:56:01,190 --> 00:56:02,257
Goddamn it, you're right.
1276
00:56:02,692 --> 00:56:03,759
He is timeless.
1277
00:56:04,661 --> 00:56:05,994
Ladies!
1278
00:56:05,996 --> 00:56:09,197
Last night was crazy. Who's
ready to feel some magic...
1279
00:56:09,199 --> 00:56:11,400
What are you guys? What are you...
okay. Ouch.
1280
00:56:11,402 --> 00:56:13,602
Hey, this guy's
pinching my neck right now!
1281
00:56:13,604 --> 00:56:14,936
He's got a monkey grip.
1282
00:56:18,041 --> 00:56:19,541
Who the fuck are you?
1283
00:56:19,543 --> 00:56:20,903
I don't know.
Who the fuck are you?
1284
00:56:22,111 --> 00:56:23,378
What?
1285
00:56:27,316 --> 00:56:28,750
Honey...
1286
00:56:31,721 --> 00:56:32,888
Do you know these guys?
1287
00:56:33,690 --> 00:56:35,590
Um...
1288
00:56:35,592 --> 00:56:37,592
No, I never seen them
before in my life.
1289
00:56:39,128 --> 00:56:42,297
Well what's he talking
about magic fingers, then?
1290
00:56:42,932 --> 00:56:44,031
Um...
1291
00:56:44,033 --> 00:56:48,537
Oh, you know what? I was dancing with
the girls the other night at the club,
1292
00:56:48,539 --> 00:56:50,605
and I hurt my back,
1293
00:56:50,607 --> 00:56:53,775
so I called the hotel and I said, "do
youse have any massage therapists?"
1294
00:56:53,777 --> 00:56:56,311
This must be them, you guys are
the massage therapists, right?
1295
00:56:56,313 --> 00:56:58,847
- Yep, that's us.
- Okay, cool, yeah, so they're from the hotel.
1296
00:56:58,849 --> 00:57:01,349
- Oh, that makes sense. Yeah.
- Mmm. Yeah.
1297
00:57:01,351 --> 00:57:04,419
I mean, what two idiots are going to
voluntarily wear clothes like that?
1298
00:57:05,822 --> 00:57:07,956
So, the hotel makes you wear
this shit?
1299
00:57:07,958 --> 00:57:10,459
Uh, yes, sir.
Feels like fiberglass.
1300
00:57:10,461 --> 00:57:11,893
- Pretty itchy.
- Oh, I bet it is.
1301
00:57:11,895 --> 00:57:12,993
May I see?
1302
00:57:12,995 --> 00:57:16,630
I actually think it makes me look
quite strapping. Kinda buff, even.
1303
00:57:16,766 --> 00:57:18,366
Also a magnet for Bo.
1304
00:57:19,035 --> 00:57:20,134
I guess.
1305
00:57:20,136 --> 00:57:22,371
Okay, honey, why don't you
go downstairs and get ready.
1306
00:57:22,473 --> 00:57:24,306
I'll send your friends
down in a sec.
1307
00:57:24,308 --> 00:57:26,241
Thank you, honey, I love you.
1308
00:57:26,243 --> 00:57:27,876
Anything for you, sugar lips.
1309
00:57:30,847 --> 00:57:32,658
You guys have a really
beautiful relationship.
1310
00:57:32,682 --> 00:57:34,316
Thank you.
1311
00:57:34,318 --> 00:57:38,253
So... Your massage therapy
story might check out,
1312
00:57:39,422 --> 00:57:41,389
but that still doesn't mean
you're not gonna try
1313
00:57:41,391 --> 00:57:44,326
to get your slimy little
pencil dicks into my wife.
1314
00:57:44,328 --> 00:57:45,794
- Slimy...
- Mine's actually average,
1315
00:57:45,796 --> 00:57:48,029
I've done research, and I have
nothing to be ashamed of.
1316
00:57:48,031 --> 00:57:50,132
Sir, I can assure you
that on behalf of the...
1317
00:57:50,134 --> 00:57:52,334
Tradewinds island resort,
1318
00:57:52,336 --> 00:57:54,736
we have no ill-intentions
towards your wife whatsoever.
1319
00:57:56,172 --> 00:57:57,239
Why would I believe that?
1320
00:57:58,908 --> 00:58:01,543
- Because...
- Because we're gay.
1321
00:58:01,545 --> 00:58:03,278
- Because we're gay.
- Yep.
1322
00:58:03,280 --> 00:58:04,846
Yeah.
1323
00:58:05,481 --> 00:58:06,948
- Gay?
- Super.
1324
00:58:06,950 --> 00:58:08,750
Super gay. We do all
the stereotypes.
1325
00:58:08,752 --> 00:58:10,418
Uh... I won best dressed
in high school...
1326
00:58:10,420 --> 00:58:12,387
Yep, yep,
we watch a lot of bravo.
1327
00:58:12,389 --> 00:58:14,856
- Really?
- We make, like, passionate love to lady gaga, like,
1328
00:58:14,858 --> 00:58:17,859
- passionate love, it's like two suns burning.
- That's a lot of detail.
1329
00:58:17,861 --> 00:58:19,361
You two knuckleheads,
1330
00:58:20,229 --> 00:58:21,730
you walk on to my yacht,
1331
00:58:22,365 --> 00:58:24,599
wanna touch my wife,
1332
00:58:24,601 --> 00:58:26,902
tell me you're gay and you
expect me to believe it?
1333
00:58:29,705 --> 00:58:30,772
Yes?
1334
00:58:33,176 --> 00:58:35,677
Okay, then. Do you need help
finding your way downstairs?
1335
00:58:37,613 --> 00:58:40,148
Wait, for real?
You believe it? We're good?
1336
00:58:40,150 --> 00:58:41,449
Yeah, sure. I believe you.
1337
00:58:41,451 --> 00:58:43,985
I mean, what, I'm gonna make
you touch dicks or something?
1338
00:58:43,987 --> 00:58:47,155
This is the 21st century
for Christ's sakes,
1339
00:58:47,157 --> 00:58:51,326
couple of finnocchios tell me they're
gay, which you two obviously are,
1340
00:58:51,328 --> 00:58:52,994
I'm not gonna make you
have to prove it.
1341
00:58:52,996 --> 00:58:56,798
It's like telling me you're
left-handed or red-headed.
1342
00:58:56,800 --> 00:58:58,733
I mean, I dunno if it's
obvious that we're gay.
1343
00:58:58,735 --> 00:59:00,735
Not quite sure what
Pinocchio has to do with this.
1344
00:59:00,737 --> 00:59:02,370
I feel like we give off
a masculine vibe.
1345
00:59:02,372 --> 00:59:04,339
Not at all. See my guys here?
1346
00:59:05,208 --> 00:59:06,541
They're gay!
1347
00:59:06,543 --> 00:59:07,743
I officiated at their wedding.
1348
00:59:08,344 --> 00:59:09,811
Very beautiful.
1349
00:59:09,813 --> 00:59:11,012
Your mother cried...
1350
00:59:11,981 --> 00:59:13,281
- Very sweet.
- That's wonderful.
1351
00:59:13,283 --> 00:59:15,917
Now go.
Don't keep my wife waiting.
1352
00:59:15,919 --> 00:59:17,785
You guys need help
finding your way downstairs?
1353
00:59:17,787 --> 00:59:18,820
Nope, we'll find it.
1354
00:59:18,822 --> 00:59:20,789
If you guys excuse me, I've got
some business to attend to.
1355
00:59:20,791 --> 00:59:21,857
No problem.
1356
00:59:25,027 --> 00:59:26,695
Just go below.
1357
00:59:26,697 --> 00:59:28,430
But way below, 'cause it's
a big boat.
1358
00:59:35,371 --> 00:59:36,905
I'm nervous.
1359
00:59:36,907 --> 00:59:38,483
I'm not. I do this stuff
at work all the time.
1360
00:59:38,507 --> 00:59:39,574
What?
1361
00:59:40,409 --> 00:59:41,476
Hello?
1362
00:59:44,513 --> 00:59:45,981
- Hello.
- Hi.
1363
00:59:46,582 --> 00:59:47,682
You ready?
1364
00:59:47,684 --> 00:59:49,150
Yeah, so, uh, where
do you want me?
1365
00:59:49,152 --> 00:59:50,452
Uh, the bed.
1366
00:59:50,454 --> 00:59:51,887
I mean... this table.
1367
00:59:51,889 --> 00:59:52,988
Table bed.
1368
00:59:54,557 --> 00:59:56,258
- Yeah.
- I'll turn around.
1369
00:59:56,260 --> 00:59:57,325
Thank you.
1370
00:59:57,994 --> 00:59:59,060
Okay.
1371
01:00:04,033 --> 01:00:05,400
- Hello.
- Hi.
1372
01:00:05,402 --> 01:00:07,135
Before we get started,
you should know that
1373
01:00:07,137 --> 01:00:09,938
a lot of my clients refer to
me as the David Blaine of
1374
01:00:09,940 --> 01:00:11,006
magic.
1375
01:00:11,674 --> 01:00:12,807
That doesn't make sense.
1376
01:00:12,809 --> 01:00:14,242
David Blaine... never mind.
1377
01:00:14,244 --> 01:00:15,342
Teachable moment.
1378
01:00:15,344 --> 01:00:20,649
Did you know that it's well documented in
scientific and anthropological communities
1379
01:00:20,651 --> 01:00:21,749
that while
1380
01:00:21,751 --> 01:00:26,888
comparable and complementary skills and
attributes are absolutely essential
1381
01:00:26,890 --> 01:00:29,157
in achieving intimacy
between two people,
1382
01:00:29,159 --> 01:00:31,359
the same is not so much
1383
01:00:31,361 --> 01:00:33,194
true when it comes
to things like
1384
01:00:33,196 --> 01:00:34,596
sexual fulfillment or
1385
01:00:34,598 --> 01:00:36,031
sheer, unbridled
1386
01:00:36,033 --> 01:00:37,933
animalistic passion.
1387
01:00:37,935 --> 01:00:40,368
- What the fuck is happening?
- Eye contact.
1388
01:00:40,370 --> 01:00:43,972
Studies have shown that when it comes to
pure adulterated no strings attached sex
1389
01:00:43,974 --> 01:00:47,309
that's when the highest levels of dopamine
and oxytocin are released from the body.
1390
01:00:47,311 --> 01:00:48,443
And subsequently,
1391
01:00:48,445 --> 01:00:51,046
the most intense and
pleasurable orgasms occur
1392
01:00:51,048 --> 01:00:55,016
when one partner has disproportionately
more of something than the other.
1393
01:00:55,018 --> 01:00:58,586
In our case, it's like, "oh, my god,
take your pick," I mean maturity.
1394
01:00:58,588 --> 01:01:00,388
- No.
- Basic self-awareness.
1395
01:01:00,390 --> 01:01:02,290
I am very aware that I am great.
1396
01:01:02,292 --> 01:01:03,858
Ability to see at night.
1397
01:01:03,860 --> 01:01:05,493
Who has that?
Which one of us is a lemur?
1398
01:01:05,495 --> 01:01:07,228
I mean the list
goes on and on. You get it,
1399
01:01:07,230 --> 01:01:08,963
blah, blah, blah.
You're terrible!
1400
01:01:11,934 --> 01:01:13,234
Intercourse...
1401
01:01:13,236 --> 01:01:14,302
Commence!
1402
01:01:15,137 --> 01:01:16,338
Okay!
1403
01:01:32,054 --> 01:01:33,455
Whoa.
1404
01:01:33,457 --> 01:01:34,622
Are you okay?
1405
01:01:35,024 --> 01:01:36,424
Yep. Yeah.
1406
01:01:36,426 --> 01:01:38,360
Just, uh...
1407
01:01:38,362 --> 01:01:39,427
Fluffing your aura.
1408
01:01:40,363 --> 01:01:41,529
Oh.
1409
01:01:41,531 --> 01:01:42,964
Yeah.
1410
01:01:42,966 --> 01:01:44,232
- Thank you.
- Yeah.
1411
01:01:50,573 --> 01:01:51,940
So, um...
1412
01:01:51,942 --> 01:01:54,709
Do you that think maybe
you can get my upper bicuspid?
1413
01:01:56,479 --> 01:01:57,545
Your upper bicuspid?
1414
01:01:58,414 --> 01:02:00,382
- Sure.
- Hmm.
1415
01:02:00,384 --> 01:02:02,917
Of course, mine always
gets tight as well.
1416
01:02:04,720 --> 01:02:06,287
Okay, okay...
1417
01:02:06,289 --> 01:02:07,355
What are you doing?
1418
01:02:07,357 --> 01:02:08,523
What are you talking about?
1419
01:02:08,525 --> 01:02:09,924
This is my bicuspid!
1420
01:02:10,726 --> 01:02:12,394
Why do you want me
to massage your tooth?
1421
01:02:12,396 --> 01:02:14,362
Oh, my god, I don't want you
to massage my tooth.
1422
01:02:14,364 --> 01:02:15,830
- Now who the fuck are you?
- Okay!
1423
01:02:15,832 --> 01:02:16,898
Okay.
1424
01:02:17,800 --> 01:02:19,868
- I'm not a massage therapist.
- No shit.
1425
01:02:19,870 --> 01:02:21,069
Or a dentist.
1426
01:02:21,071 --> 01:02:22,704
Oh, and by the way I looked up
the handies.
1427
01:02:22,706 --> 01:02:23,905
You don't even want to know
what came up.
1428
01:02:23,907 --> 01:02:24,973
All right, the truth...
1429
01:02:26,175 --> 01:02:27,242
I'm here on my honeymoon.
1430
01:02:28,711 --> 01:02:29,811
With bowie?
1431
01:02:29,813 --> 01:02:31,246
Yeah.
1432
01:02:31,248 --> 01:02:32,514
Oh.
1433
01:02:32,516 --> 01:02:33,848
No, not like that.
1434
01:02:34,950 --> 01:02:37,552
I was supposed to get married
this past weekend.
1435
01:02:37,554 --> 01:02:39,054
Obviously, it didn't happen.
1436
01:02:39,056 --> 01:02:40,288
And so now,
1437
01:02:40,290 --> 01:02:42,490
bowie and I decided to go on
the honeymoon together.
1438
01:02:42,492 --> 01:02:44,125
It's just been a complete
what-the-fuck fest ever since.
1439
01:02:44,127 --> 01:02:45,325
I don't know what's going on.
1440
01:02:45,327 --> 01:02:48,195
Okay, the only thing I do know is
that the only time I'm not completely
1441
01:02:48,197 --> 01:02:50,164
miserable is when I'm with you.
1442
01:02:51,400 --> 01:02:52,667
Wow.
1443
01:02:52,669 --> 01:02:53,735
Yeah.
1444
01:02:54,503 --> 01:02:55,570
That really sucks.
1445
01:02:56,872 --> 01:02:58,406
Oh.
1446
01:02:58,408 --> 01:02:59,874
No, I mean that part about
1447
01:02:59,876 --> 01:03:01,076
your wedding sucks.
1448
01:03:02,244 --> 01:03:04,212
The other part was really sweet.
1449
01:03:06,249 --> 01:03:08,489
You're the best thing that's
happened to me since Friday.
1450
01:03:15,424 --> 01:03:17,192
You know, I've seen a lot of
1451
01:03:17,194 --> 01:03:19,294
movies that start out this way.
1452
01:03:19,296 --> 01:03:21,996
I've been in a lot of movies
that started out this way.
1453
01:03:23,899 --> 01:03:24,966
Oh.
1454
01:03:25,534 --> 01:03:27,068
No, really.
1455
01:03:27,070 --> 01:03:31,706
So if at any point I start taking
off these sexy little shorts...
1456
01:03:33,809 --> 01:03:35,343
Just stop me, it's a bad habit.
1457
01:03:37,646 --> 01:03:38,847
Uh, okay, noted.
1458
01:03:40,616 --> 01:03:42,350
I'll...
1459
01:03:42,352 --> 01:03:43,585
Do some rocks.
1460
01:03:43,587 --> 01:03:44,652
My specialty.
1461
01:03:52,761 --> 01:03:54,729
That's...
1462
01:03:56,265 --> 01:03:57,499
Oh, ow!
1463
01:03:57,501 --> 01:03:59,261
Okay, that one was hot.
It was on the bottom.
1464
01:04:00,002 --> 01:04:01,069
It's okay.
1465
01:04:02,138 --> 01:04:03,605
- Yes!
1466
01:04:08,211 --> 01:04:09,811
- Oh, my god, damn it!
1467
01:04:12,015 --> 01:04:14,215
I'm out of rocks, um...
1468
01:04:14,217 --> 01:04:15,450
I'm gonna go find some more.
1469
01:04:15,452 --> 01:04:16,518
You stay right here.
1470
01:04:17,920 --> 01:04:19,721
You're a sweet,
sweet angel from heaven.
1471
01:04:20,556 --> 01:04:21,990
- Hmm.
1472
01:04:24,927 --> 01:04:25,994
So...
1473
01:04:25,996 --> 01:04:27,061
How did it end?
1474
01:04:27,997 --> 01:04:29,430
Spectacularly.
1475
01:04:32,034 --> 01:04:33,234
So what do you really do?
1476
01:04:35,438 --> 01:04:36,538
I'm a lawyer.
1477
01:04:36,540 --> 01:04:38,239
- Shut up, you're a lawyer?
- Yeah.
1478
01:04:38,241 --> 01:04:40,608
And you've lied about being
a massage therapist?
1479
01:04:40,610 --> 01:04:41,743
I plead the fifth.
1480
01:04:43,213 --> 01:04:44,279
Well done.
1481
01:04:45,080 --> 01:04:46,320
What about you? What do you do?
1482
01:04:46,682 --> 01:04:48,416
Oh, um...
1483
01:04:48,418 --> 01:04:51,486
I am a professional
waster of potential.
1484
01:04:53,088 --> 01:04:54,589
Okay, what does that mean?
1485
01:04:54,591 --> 01:04:56,324
You know when you're a kid
1486
01:04:56,326 --> 01:04:58,626
and all you dream about is all
the wonderful and amazing
1487
01:04:58,628 --> 01:05:00,188
things you're gonna do
when you grow up?
1488
01:05:00,329 --> 01:05:01,863
Sure.
1489
01:05:01,865 --> 01:05:03,905
Well, I grew up and I never
did any of those things.
1490
01:05:05,401 --> 01:05:06,935
Oh, come on.
1491
01:05:06,937 --> 01:05:09,170
When I was a kid, I dreamed
about being a firetruck.
1492
01:05:09,172 --> 01:05:11,606
Like literally a firetruck.
1493
01:05:11,608 --> 01:05:12,840
That's what I wanted to be.
1494
01:05:12,842 --> 01:05:14,876
Stop.
1495
01:05:14,878 --> 01:05:17,345
I mean, you had to have done
some cool things with your life.
1496
01:05:19,315 --> 01:05:20,515
Yeah, I've done some things.
1497
01:05:22,218 --> 01:05:24,419
Okay...
1498
01:05:24,421 --> 01:05:26,821
It's killing me. I know that I know you.
How do I know you?
1499
01:05:27,356 --> 01:05:28,423
Um...
1500
01:05:28,425 --> 01:05:29,490
Hmm...
1501
01:05:29,492 --> 01:05:31,459
Ah... okay. When I was 21,
1502
01:05:31,461 --> 01:05:34,762
I was picked to be the face
of a new energy sports drink.
1503
01:05:37,366 --> 01:05:39,267
- Diesel valve.
1504
01:05:39,269 --> 01:05:41,069
- Yeah.
- Oh, my god.
1505
01:05:41,071 --> 01:05:42,870
You're the diesel Valkyrie.
1506
01:05:42,872 --> 01:05:45,707
Holy shit.
1507
01:05:45,709 --> 01:05:48,876
That super bowl commercial was huge.
You were everywhere.
1508
01:05:48,878 --> 01:05:52,680
Yeah, I was. I mean one minute I was
just some college kid and the next...
1509
01:05:52,682 --> 01:05:53,781
Boom.
1510
01:05:54,283 --> 01:05:55,516
It's crazy.
1511
01:05:55,518 --> 01:05:57,819
You think your life is gonna
go this one way
1512
01:05:57,821 --> 01:06:00,455
and then something happens
that completely changes it.
1513
01:06:01,023 --> 01:06:02,457
Yeah.
1514
01:06:02,459 --> 01:06:03,524
So then what do you do?
1515
01:06:06,128 --> 01:06:07,495
It's your life.
1516
01:06:07,497 --> 01:06:08,596
You live it.
1517
01:06:10,332 --> 01:06:11,499
So no regrets, huh?
1518
01:06:11,501 --> 01:06:14,002
Well, I was just
1519
01:06:14,004 --> 01:06:18,139
two credits shy of getting my degree in
marine biology when everything happened.
1520
01:06:18,141 --> 01:06:21,209
Okay, I get it. That's why
you're scuba diving every day.
1521
01:06:21,211 --> 01:06:23,778
Yeah, yeah, I've actually been
doing it with some of the people
1522
01:06:23,780 --> 01:06:25,313
from the marine
institute here and...
1523
01:06:25,315 --> 01:06:27,649
They said if I wanted to stay
to work on a fellowship
1524
01:06:27,651 --> 01:06:29,450
and finish my degree, I could.
1525
01:06:30,019 --> 01:06:31,085
That's awesome.
1526
01:06:32,187 --> 01:06:33,488
Is it?
1527
01:06:33,490 --> 01:06:34,588
I don't know.
1528
01:06:34,590 --> 01:06:37,258
I mean, I wouldn't do it 'cause I'm
scared shitless of the ocean...
1529
01:06:37,260 --> 01:06:38,326
But it's cool for you.
1530
01:06:38,328 --> 01:06:39,426
It's scary
1531
01:06:39,428 --> 01:06:43,530
actually, possibly becoming the
person you've always wanted to be.
1532
01:06:43,932 --> 01:06:46,534
I'm not big on plans.
1533
01:06:46,536 --> 01:06:48,770
Well I think if you
have a chance,
1534
01:06:48,772 --> 01:06:49,837
you should go for it.
1535
01:06:53,676 --> 01:06:54,742
Okay.
1536
01:06:56,979 --> 01:06:58,046
Okay what?
1537
01:06:59,048 --> 01:07:00,114
Okay, I'll do it.
1538
01:07:02,651 --> 01:07:04,352
- Yeah.
- That's it?
1539
01:07:04,354 --> 01:07:07,722
You're just gonna make a huge
life-altering decision just like that?
1540
01:07:07,724 --> 01:07:09,657
How else do you make one?
1541
01:07:10,626 --> 01:07:14,362
You just changed my entire life.
1542
01:07:14,364 --> 01:07:15,997
Hold on. Slow down.
1543
01:07:15,999 --> 01:07:19,033
I think maybe you should think about it.
I can't handle that responsibility.
1544
01:07:19,035 --> 01:07:20,902
- It's stressing me out.
1545
01:07:25,374 --> 01:07:27,608
Today was a good day.
1546
01:07:27,610 --> 01:07:29,277
You didn't even have
to use your AK.
1547
01:07:37,219 --> 01:07:39,487
Hmm. That feels so good.
1548
01:07:40,789 --> 01:07:42,623
Yeah.
1549
01:07:42,625 --> 01:07:44,892
Yeah, you're so good
with your hands.
1550
01:07:44,894 --> 01:07:47,195
Thanks, it's called
the curious cat.
1551
01:07:47,197 --> 01:07:48,730
Hmm.
1552
01:07:48,732 --> 01:07:51,099
You want the ocean breeze
package now?
1553
01:07:51,101 --> 01:07:52,567
Ooh, yes, please!
1554
01:07:52,569 --> 01:07:53,868
- Coming right up.
- Hmm.
1555
01:07:58,941 --> 01:08:00,708
Just like you're at
the ocean, right?
1556
01:08:00,710 --> 01:08:03,244
Maybe if the ocean ate a giant
fucking bowl of nachos.
1557
01:08:03,246 --> 01:08:04,846
Jesus Christ, what'd you eat?
1558
01:08:06,281 --> 01:08:07,448
A giant bowl of nachos.
1559
01:08:08,183 --> 01:08:09,317
We'll stay down here.
1560
01:08:10,185 --> 01:08:12,754
Hey, come on in.
1561
01:08:12,756 --> 01:08:15,490
- Doing this.
- Yeah, doing this.
1562
01:08:15,492 --> 01:08:17,225
- Just, uh...
- Ah!
1563
01:08:17,227 --> 01:08:18,325
Whoa.
1564
01:08:18,327 --> 01:08:20,661
- You all right?
- Sorry, I didn't know you were starting.
1565
01:08:20,663 --> 01:08:21,829
Seem a little tense?
1566
01:08:21,831 --> 01:08:23,131
A little tense.
1567
01:08:23,133 --> 01:08:24,732
Yeah, uh, I haven't
1568
01:08:24,734 --> 01:08:26,934
been back here
since my husband passed away
1569
01:08:26,936 --> 01:08:28,836
tragically.
1570
01:08:28,838 --> 01:08:31,606
You're husband passed away
in Rancho para?
1571
01:08:31,608 --> 01:08:34,542
Um, yeah, he was.
1572
01:08:34,544 --> 01:08:36,244
Vincent's accountant
for many years,
1573
01:08:36,246 --> 01:08:38,312
and then he died in a very
tragic accident.
1574
01:08:39,181 --> 01:08:40,248
What happened?
1575
01:08:40,649 --> 01:08:41,949
Well, he
1576
01:08:41,951 --> 01:08:44,385
accidentally shot himself
in the face
1577
01:08:44,387 --> 01:08:46,554
and then he fell into
a car trunk
1578
01:08:46,556 --> 01:08:49,023
and it landed in the bottom
of the ocean, so...
1579
01:08:49,025 --> 01:08:50,725
It was a lot.
1580
01:08:50,727 --> 01:08:52,427
It was like Murphy's law.
1581
01:08:52,429 --> 01:08:53,694
Like, what else could go wrong?
1582
01:08:53,696 --> 01:08:55,296
Yeah...
1583
01:08:55,298 --> 01:08:57,231
I trust the trip was enjoyable?
1584
01:08:57,233 --> 01:08:59,133
Can we get you anything?
1585
01:08:59,135 --> 01:09:00,802
Hors d'oeuvres,
drinks, something?
1586
01:09:04,006 --> 01:09:05,573
If it's all the same to you,
1587
01:09:05,575 --> 01:09:07,508
let us dispense with the
1588
01:09:07,510 --> 01:09:09,310
- pleasantries.
- Right.
1589
01:09:09,312 --> 01:09:11,245
Straight to business.
No bullshit.
1590
01:09:11,247 --> 01:09:12,447
A man after my own heart.
1591
01:09:14,917 --> 01:09:16,284
I love cash.
1592
01:09:16,286 --> 01:09:18,653
It's always the right size
and the right color.
1593
01:09:18,655 --> 01:09:20,121
You're just so talented.
1594
01:09:20,123 --> 01:09:21,456
Do you ever turn it off?
1595
01:09:22,925 --> 01:09:24,358
I don't know how.
1596
01:09:27,063 --> 01:09:29,597
Careful, my husband's upstairs.
1597
01:09:29,599 --> 01:09:30,799
Yeah, what's up with that guy?
1598
01:09:32,034 --> 01:09:33,201
Well, you know...
1599
01:09:33,203 --> 01:09:34,869
It's funny you should ask.
1600
01:09:34,871 --> 01:09:37,805
He and I have sort of
1601
01:09:37,807 --> 01:09:39,106
an agreement.
1602
01:09:39,108 --> 01:09:40,708
Like?
1603
01:09:40,710 --> 01:09:43,277
You both agree Shawshank
redemption is a great move?
1604
01:09:43,279 --> 01:09:44,345
Uh-uh.
1605
01:09:45,681 --> 01:09:48,616
That is a different agreement!
Yeah, no, I like...
1606
01:09:48,618 --> 01:09:51,052
I like this agreement more.
1607
01:09:51,054 --> 01:09:52,653
Wow...
1608
01:09:52,655 --> 01:09:54,655
It's actually, like,
totally average.
1609
01:09:54,657 --> 01:09:55,790
Thank you.
1610
01:09:55,792 --> 01:09:57,358
What does Vincent do exactly?
1611
01:09:57,360 --> 01:09:59,460
Oh, he's a man of many pursuits.
1612
01:09:59,462 --> 01:10:00,528
Um...
1613
01:10:00,530 --> 01:10:03,130
He has an import-export
business of some sort.
1614
01:10:03,132 --> 01:10:05,066
He owns many
abandoned warehouses.
1615
01:10:05,068 --> 01:10:06,467
He has a limo company.
1616
01:10:06,469 --> 01:10:09,537
Strip club. The limo takes
people to the strip club.
1617
01:10:09,539 --> 01:10:12,106
He has an exotic animal farm
with a lot of lizards.
1618
01:10:12,108 --> 01:10:15,176
He also has very hungry pigs.
1619
01:10:15,178 --> 01:10:17,111
You're going to like
our product.
1620
01:10:17,113 --> 01:10:18,813
It's, uh, Primo shit.
1621
01:10:23,252 --> 01:10:26,187
Okay, well, why don't
you lay down, I just gotta
1622
01:10:26,189 --> 01:10:27,655
take care of some things.
1623
01:10:27,657 --> 01:10:29,090
That sounds like Vincent.
1624
01:10:30,593 --> 01:10:32,860
- That's a good impression.
- Just give me one minute...
1625
01:10:32,862 --> 01:10:35,830
- Sure.
- And I'll be right back.
1626
01:10:37,299 --> 01:10:39,133
Bowie?
1627
01:10:39,135 --> 01:10:40,434
Bowie?
1628
01:10:40,436 --> 01:10:42,003
Okay, remember that agreement.
1629
01:10:42,005 --> 01:10:43,671
- Okay.
- Keep that up here.
1630
01:10:43,673 --> 01:10:44,793
- Okay.
- I'll be right back.
1631
01:10:50,813 --> 01:10:53,047
Bowie, come out here.
1632
01:10:53,049 --> 01:10:55,650
Can I talk to you for one minute please?
Thank you.
1633
01:10:55,652 --> 01:10:57,852
What are you doing?
I'm getting to know Angela
1634
01:10:57,854 --> 01:11:00,154
and I'm this close to a fucking
two for Tuesday right now.
1635
01:11:00,156 --> 01:11:02,156
That's a bad idea. Do you
know who her husband is?
1636
01:11:02,158 --> 01:11:05,259
Yeah, he's the nicest man I've ever heard
of. They have a beautiful agreement.
1637
01:11:05,261 --> 01:11:06,294
Yeah, I'm sure they do.
1638
01:11:06,296 --> 01:11:08,796
I bet he made her an offer
she couldn't refuse.
1639
01:11:08,798 --> 01:11:10,197
What are you talking about?
1640
01:11:10,199 --> 01:11:12,066
When she said this
is her family's yacht,
1641
01:11:12,068 --> 01:11:13,968
she didn't mean her family.
1642
01:11:13,970 --> 01:11:15,903
She meant the family!
1643
01:11:16,638 --> 01:11:17,939
Like the Kardashians?
1644
01:11:17,941 --> 01:11:20,107
No! The fucking mafia!
1645
01:11:20,109 --> 01:11:22,076
We need to get the hell
out of here.
1646
01:11:22,078 --> 01:11:23,978
Okay, we just need
seven minutes.
1647
01:11:23,980 --> 01:11:25,146
Now!
1648
01:11:25,148 --> 01:11:27,248
I can do it in two and a half.
1649
01:11:36,992 --> 01:11:39,293
Excuse me?
1650
01:11:40,329 --> 01:11:41,596
No, no, no, hold on.
1651
01:11:41,598 --> 01:11:43,764
Let me pull up
my translation app.
1652
01:11:43,766 --> 01:11:45,132
- It's some kind of mistake...
1653
01:11:45,134 --> 01:11:47,101
- Can you say that again?
- How dare you disrespect me!
1654
01:11:47,103 --> 01:11:48,383
We'll get this straightened out.
1655
01:11:53,743 --> 01:11:55,142
Bang, bang, bang.
1656
01:11:55,144 --> 01:11:56,304
Nope, you're right, let's go.
1657
01:11:58,347 --> 01:12:00,081
Holy shit!
1658
01:12:03,585 --> 01:12:05,252
This shouldn't
have been that easy.
1659
01:12:06,622 --> 01:12:09,156
I mean these are Japanese
triads for Christ's sake.
1660
01:12:10,692 --> 01:12:11,926
I mean these guys
1661
01:12:11,928 --> 01:12:14,829
are lethal killing machines.
You ever watched the movies?
1662
01:12:14,831 --> 01:12:17,131
They, they use knives
and swords and shit.
1663
01:12:17,133 --> 01:12:21,102
I mean one guy can take out
an entire squad.
1664
01:12:21,104 --> 01:12:22,870
But here, it was like...
1665
01:12:22,872 --> 01:12:25,706
Bang, bang, bang, they're dead.
1666
01:12:25,708 --> 01:12:28,709
I mean, Craig, you didn't
even put down your tray.
1667
01:12:29,411 --> 01:12:30,778
I'm proud of you.
1668
01:12:30,780 --> 01:12:31,946
Hey, moron!
1669
01:12:32,447 --> 01:12:33,514
Get up here.
1670
01:12:34,016 --> 01:12:35,082
Yeah, boss man.
1671
01:12:36,385 --> 01:12:37,451
What the fuck is this?
1672
01:12:38,086 --> 01:12:39,253
Uh...
1673
01:12:39,255 --> 01:12:41,389
It's a suitcase full of clothes.
1674
01:12:43,258 --> 01:12:44,959
And, um...
1675
01:12:44,961 --> 01:12:46,360
A bunch of dead
1676
01:12:46,362 --> 01:12:47,762
Koreans or...
1677
01:12:47,764 --> 01:12:49,130
Hawaiians maybe?
1678
01:12:49,132 --> 01:12:50,931
Ooh, mini hot-dogs!
1679
01:12:51,433 --> 01:12:53,100
Okay. Hmm...
1680
01:12:53,802 --> 01:12:55,436
- You had one job.
- Mmm-hmm.
1681
01:12:55,438 --> 01:12:57,171
One fucking job!
1682
01:12:57,173 --> 01:12:58,839
To go to the airport,
1683
01:12:58,841 --> 01:13:01,075
pick up a suitcase for me,
1684
01:13:01,077 --> 01:13:02,243
and bring it back here.
1685
01:13:03,245 --> 01:13:04,879
This is not my suitcase.
1686
01:13:05,580 --> 01:13:07,815
Where is my fucking suitcase?
1687
01:13:07,817 --> 01:13:09,283
Oh, right.
1688
01:13:09,285 --> 01:13:12,119
Funny story, I gave a lift
to these guys as a favor
1689
01:13:12,121 --> 01:13:14,822
of a buddy of mine who
scored me really great weed
1690
01:13:14,824 --> 01:13:17,258
and concert tickets,
if you guys need some.
1691
01:13:17,260 --> 01:13:18,358
Anyways, uh...
1692
01:13:18,360 --> 01:13:22,263
I went and had to get their luggage as
well, I might have switched their bag
1693
01:13:22,265 --> 01:13:23,330
with your bag.
1694
01:13:23,332 --> 01:13:24,398
Honest mistake.
1695
01:13:24,400 --> 01:13:25,498
You know, my fault, but
1696
01:13:25,500 --> 01:13:28,369
they're staying here on the island
so it should be easy just to get
1697
01:13:28,371 --> 01:13:30,004
the bag back. No harm, no foul.
1698
01:13:36,344 --> 01:13:39,880
Randy, if you weren't my mother's favorite
nephew, I swear to Christ you'd be
1699
01:13:39,882 --> 01:13:40,948
dead like them!
1700
01:13:42,885 --> 01:13:44,452
Thanks, cuz! I love you too.
1701
01:13:50,325 --> 01:13:52,727
Okay, boys, get me Harry Fluder.
1702
01:13:52,729 --> 01:13:54,762
F-I-u-d-e-r.
1703
01:13:55,464 --> 01:13:56,664
Flounder? Fluder?
1704
01:13:57,699 --> 01:13:58,766
Just find him.
1705
01:14:00,969 --> 01:14:03,370
- Tell me you didn't fuck his wife.
- I didn't fuck his wife.
1706
01:14:03,372 --> 01:14:04,838
Promise me you didn't
fuck his wife.
1707
01:14:04,840 --> 01:14:05,873
I promise.
1708
01:14:05,875 --> 01:14:07,741
- I might of touched a boob.
- What?
1709
01:14:09,111 --> 01:14:12,446
We have two minutes to Keyser
Soze the fuck out of here.
1710
01:14:12,448 --> 01:14:14,415
Okay, well, what are we gonna
do about your drugs?
1711
01:14:14,417 --> 01:14:15,683
They're not my drugs!
1712
01:14:15,685 --> 01:14:16,851
We're gonna get rid of them.
1713
01:14:16,853 --> 01:14:18,419
It's not exactly a carry-on.
1714
01:14:18,421 --> 01:14:19,487
Goddamn it.
1715
01:14:21,991 --> 01:14:24,225
- What can I do?
- I don't know. Get a plunger or something.
1716
01:14:24,227 --> 01:14:25,326
- Something...
- Okay, all right.
1717
01:14:25,328 --> 01:14:26,393
Maybe a hanger?
1718
01:14:29,097 --> 01:14:30,564
This is what I got.
1719
01:14:30,566 --> 01:14:32,032
We can't fuck the drugs away.
1720
01:14:32,034 --> 01:14:33,367
It's all I have right now, man.
1721
01:14:38,641 --> 01:14:39,707
Let me try. Let me try.
1722
01:14:50,520 --> 01:14:52,052
I'm gonna fucking kill you.
1723
01:14:52,054 --> 01:14:54,855
- Fuck man.
- Is everything a fucking joke to you?
1724
01:14:54,857 --> 01:14:57,258
Can you even comprehend the
situation that we're in right now?
1725
01:14:57,260 --> 01:14:59,527
Oh, now is when I bet you tell
me that this is all my fault.
1726
01:14:59,529 --> 01:15:01,395
Yes! Of course
this is your fault!
1727
01:15:01,397 --> 01:15:03,597
Who else's fault could it be?
1728
01:15:03,599 --> 01:15:04,698
News flash.
1729
01:15:04,700 --> 01:15:05,966
You're not Ferris Bueller.
1730
01:15:05,968 --> 01:15:07,368
You're just a fucking asshole.
1731
01:15:07,370 --> 01:15:08,468
Oh, fuck you, man.
1732
01:15:08,470 --> 01:15:11,372
Now is when it comes out? I spend
my whole life looking after you.
1733
01:15:11,374 --> 01:15:13,774
Fucking showing you the time of your
life and this is the thanks I get?
1734
01:15:13,776 --> 01:15:15,476
Oh, oh, sorry did
you want me to thank you?
1735
01:15:15,478 --> 01:15:17,311
- Yes.
- Okay, I'm sorry, thank you.
1736
01:15:17,313 --> 01:15:20,748
Thank you for turning my life
into a complete and utter
1737
01:15:20,750 --> 01:15:22,750
fuck-a-palooza.
1738
01:15:22,752 --> 01:15:25,586
None of this was about showing
me the time of my life.
1739
01:15:25,588 --> 01:15:27,268
This is about you not having
to live yours.
1740
01:15:28,089 --> 01:15:29,490
See, you don't want me
to grow up
1741
01:15:29,492 --> 01:15:30,558
because you're afraid
1742
01:15:30,560 --> 01:15:31,959
that I'll leave you behind.
1743
01:15:31,961 --> 01:15:34,428
That's why you're always pulling
some epically stupid shit.
1744
01:15:36,331 --> 01:15:38,171
Well, I'm tired of you
always dragging me down.
1745
01:15:39,835 --> 01:15:40,995
That's what you really think?
1746
01:15:42,237 --> 01:15:43,304
Yeah.
1747
01:15:45,907 --> 01:15:46,974
Fuck you.
1748
01:15:48,076 --> 01:15:50,010
You're not my
best friend anymore.
1749
01:15:50,012 --> 01:15:51,612
You're not my best friend
anymore either.
1750
01:15:56,284 --> 01:15:57,844
We really gotta start
locking this door.
1751
01:16:04,593 --> 01:16:05,726
Hiya, boys.
1752
01:16:06,795 --> 01:16:08,195
Long time no see!
1753
01:16:09,197 --> 01:16:10,698
All right, so, uh...
1754
01:16:10,700 --> 01:16:11,866
Let's cut right to the chase.
1755
01:16:14,436 --> 01:16:15,502
You know me.
1756
01:16:16,538 --> 01:16:18,205
And I
1757
01:16:18,207 --> 01:16:19,406
know you who you are.
1758
01:16:20,175 --> 01:16:24,245
Harry Fluder, 5220 Archer road.
1759
01:16:24,247 --> 01:16:25,312
And...
1760
01:16:28,717 --> 01:16:30,818
Beauregard Pemberton.
1761
01:16:30,820 --> 01:16:32,219
Beauregard.
1762
01:16:32,221 --> 01:16:33,454
The fourth?
1763
01:16:35,190 --> 01:16:37,258
There are four of you!
1764
01:16:38,159 --> 01:16:39,660
Yeah, uh...
1765
01:16:39,662 --> 01:16:41,195
302 southwest east,
third street.
1766
01:16:42,030 --> 01:16:44,265
- Ah, bingo.
- Ah.
1767
01:16:44,267 --> 01:16:48,102
So I want to apologize for any
discomfort my guys may have caused you.
1768
01:16:48,870 --> 01:16:51,238
Um, can I get you anything?
1769
01:16:51,773 --> 01:16:53,374
Uh, we're fine.
1770
01:16:53,376 --> 01:16:54,541
Actually, uh,
1771
01:16:54,543 --> 01:16:55,609
I'd love a sparkling water.
1772
01:16:55,611 --> 01:16:56,677
Sure.
1773
01:16:56,679 --> 01:16:58,245
Get him a sparkling water.
1774
01:16:58,247 --> 01:17:00,047
Oh, ah, with a lemon wedge?
1775
01:17:00,049 --> 01:17:01,115
Lemon wedge coming up.
1776
01:17:03,618 --> 01:17:04,985
I mean, he's asking.
1777
01:17:04,987 --> 01:17:06,086
So...
1778
01:17:06,088 --> 01:17:07,821
You didn't just bring us here
to kills us?
1779
01:17:07,823 --> 01:17:09,924
No, why would I do that?
1780
01:17:09,926 --> 01:17:12,493
I don't know. 'Cause, like,
we could go to the cops.
1781
01:17:12,495 --> 01:17:14,862
I have a cousin who works in the FBI.
I can tell him about...
1782
01:17:14,864 --> 01:17:16,463
Are you actively trying
to get us shot?
1783
01:17:16,465 --> 01:17:18,265
No, you're not those
kind of guys.
1784
01:17:18,267 --> 01:17:21,101
- No, we are not those
type of guys. No.
1785
01:17:21,103 --> 01:17:22,403
Your cousin's a security guard.
1786
01:17:22,405 --> 01:17:23,904
Yeah, but at the FBI.
1787
01:17:25,307 --> 01:17:26,373
How is it?
1788
01:17:28,209 --> 01:17:29,410
It's a little warm.
1789
01:17:29,412 --> 01:17:30,711
Can I get some ice?
1790
01:17:30,713 --> 01:17:31,779
Sure.
1791
01:17:32,981 --> 01:17:34,448
What the fuck?
1792
01:17:35,517 --> 01:17:37,618
- You didn't even make it in.
- We're done here.
1793
01:17:39,387 --> 01:17:40,707
Make sure you stay
out of trouble.
1794
01:17:41,990 --> 01:17:43,457
So, that's it?
1795
01:17:43,459 --> 01:17:45,359
You're just gonna...
1796
01:17:45,361 --> 01:17:46,427
Forget about it?
1797
01:17:49,832 --> 01:17:51,265
There is one thing.
1798
01:17:51,267 --> 01:17:55,035
Uh, you guys got ahold of a
suitcase that belonged to me.
1799
01:17:55,037 --> 01:17:56,103
That suitcase.
1800
01:17:57,405 --> 01:17:59,606
Which was filled with drugs.
1801
01:17:59,608 --> 01:18:01,308
Now, not so much.
1802
01:18:01,310 --> 01:18:03,087
There's still a lot of drugs
in there, though.
1803
01:18:03,111 --> 01:18:04,545
You owe me money.
1804
01:18:04,547 --> 01:18:06,113
Secondly,
1805
01:18:06,115 --> 01:18:07,181
you've seen my face.
1806
01:18:08,116 --> 01:18:09,383
I've admitted
1807
01:18:09,385 --> 01:18:11,585
that those drugs belong to me.
1808
01:18:11,587 --> 01:18:14,121
Now, there are only
two types of people
1809
01:18:14,123 --> 01:18:15,756
that can see this kind of stuff.
1810
01:18:16,057 --> 01:18:17,491
A,
1811
01:18:17,493 --> 01:18:19,560
People that work for me and,
1812
01:18:19,562 --> 01:18:20,861
b...
1813
01:18:22,964 --> 01:18:25,532
- Oh!
1814
01:18:27,602 --> 01:18:29,903
You just cut them up and
carry them around in a bag?
1815
01:18:29,905 --> 01:18:33,273
Yeah, I thought step two of
murder was get rid of the body!
1816
01:18:33,275 --> 01:18:36,010
I'm senior staff,
I don't do the cutting.
1817
01:18:36,012 --> 01:18:38,445
Plus, I was trying
to make a point.
1818
01:18:38,447 --> 01:18:41,148
Point taken,
you fucking psycho. Relax.
1819
01:18:41,150 --> 01:18:42,683
Okay, now listen.
1820
01:18:42,685 --> 01:18:43,783
I've got good news.
1821
01:18:43,785 --> 01:18:48,288
There seems to be an immediate opening
in my organization available.
1822
01:18:48,290 --> 01:18:50,891
If you work for me
and do one job,
1823
01:18:50,893 --> 01:18:51,973
you won't owe me any money.
1824
01:18:53,228 --> 01:18:54,695
Or b...
1825
01:18:54,697 --> 01:18:56,497
You can, you know...
1826
01:18:56,499 --> 01:18:57,564
I have an empty bag.
1827
01:19:00,368 --> 01:19:01,869
Could you just give us
1828
01:19:01,871 --> 01:19:03,937
one minute to discuss this
between ourselves?
1829
01:19:03,939 --> 01:19:05,199
Sure, take your time.
1830
01:19:06,708 --> 01:19:09,043
Okay, could everybody turn
around and cover their ears?
1831
01:19:09,744 --> 01:19:10,864
No, that's not gonna happen.
1832
01:19:13,014 --> 01:19:15,449
- Okay, we'll just whisper.
- Okay.
1833
01:19:15,451 --> 01:19:18,085
I don't think this is the kind of
guy we want to be indebted too.
1834
01:19:18,087 --> 01:19:20,520
Yeah, but I don't think we really
have a choice. Look at him.
1835
01:19:20,522 --> 01:19:22,122
All white.
What is it Easter right now?
1836
01:19:22,124 --> 01:19:23,223
He's fucking crazy.
1837
01:19:23,225 --> 01:19:25,059
- Haven't you seen the godfather?
- Yeah.
1838
01:19:25,061 --> 01:19:28,062
There may be a day, where I come
in and ask you for a favor.
1839
01:19:28,064 --> 01:19:30,697
Oh, my god, Harry, that
impression was fucking spot on.
1840
01:19:30,699 --> 01:19:32,166
I've been sitting on that one
for a while.
1841
01:19:32,168 --> 01:19:34,201
- I thought it was appropriate.
- It was totally appropriate.
1842
01:19:34,203 --> 01:19:36,203
You've been crushing this whole
vacation with these impressions.
1843
01:19:36,205 --> 01:19:37,337
I didn't know you had it in you.
1844
01:19:37,339 --> 01:19:39,139
- Thanks man.
- I still fucking hate you though.
1845
01:19:39,141 --> 01:19:40,240
I still fucking hate you too.
1846
01:19:40,242 --> 01:19:41,542
There's no way this guy
really trusts us,
1847
01:19:41,544 --> 01:19:43,177
so he's not gonna give
us a big job.
1848
01:19:43,179 --> 01:19:46,013
I bet it's some, like, victimless
mundane crime. I'm positive.
1849
01:19:46,015 --> 01:19:47,848
Okay, we talked about it.
We're gonna do it.
1850
01:19:47,850 --> 01:19:49,249
- What... what, no!
- Excellent.
1851
01:19:49,251 --> 01:19:50,384
- Great.
1852
01:19:50,852 --> 01:19:51,919
Good choice.
1853
01:19:52,487 --> 01:19:54,488
I need you to, uh,
1854
01:19:54,490 --> 01:19:56,590
take care of somebody for me.
1855
01:19:56,592 --> 01:19:59,359
Uh, you know,
not my wife, just...
1856
01:19:59,361 --> 01:20:00,427
That one.
1857
01:20:01,963 --> 01:20:03,097
What did she do?
1858
01:20:03,099 --> 01:20:04,898
Nothing really...
1859
01:20:04,900 --> 01:20:07,935
I mean, accidentally, she saw
something she shouldn't have.
1860
01:20:07,937 --> 01:20:10,237
I've been agonizing
over this, really.
1861
01:20:10,239 --> 01:20:14,041
But, uh, I can't very well ask
her to whack herself, right?
1862
01:20:14,043 --> 01:20:17,878
So, listen. Vito and NICKIE
are gonna kinda tag along,
1863
01:20:17,880 --> 01:20:20,481
right, make sure
nothing goes wrong.
1864
01:20:20,483 --> 01:20:22,049
Then, you're free to go.
1865
01:20:23,051 --> 01:20:25,185
And thanks, fellas.
1866
01:20:25,187 --> 01:20:27,488
You're really taking
a load off my mind.
1867
01:20:30,592 --> 01:20:32,092
Yeah, thanks for the water.
1868
01:20:32,094 --> 01:20:33,760
JK, it fucking sucks.
1869
01:20:35,897 --> 01:20:38,132
Honestly, that could
have gone way worse.
1870
01:20:38,134 --> 01:20:39,500
What are you talking about?
1871
01:20:39,502 --> 01:20:41,869
Dude, we just had a meeting
with Vincent Gambazzo
1872
01:20:41,871 --> 01:20:44,171
in an abandoned warehouse
and he let us go.
1873
01:20:44,173 --> 01:20:46,607
- Yeah, to kill Colette.
- We're not gonna have to kill Colette.
1874
01:20:46,609 --> 01:20:48,142
We're just gotta get in
a couple of good
1875
01:20:48,144 --> 01:20:49,209
punches!
1876
01:20:51,479 --> 01:20:52,980
Huh. Fuck!
1877
01:20:54,582 --> 01:20:56,416
We're gonna
have to kill Colette.
1878
01:21:08,997 --> 01:21:10,430
Hey, hun.
1879
01:21:11,900 --> 01:21:13,734
Just finished my sudoku game.
1880
01:21:13,736 --> 01:21:17,037
And I think I just figured out
the secret to cold fusion.
1881
01:21:18,072 --> 01:21:19,706
Oh yeah?
1882
01:21:19,708 --> 01:21:22,376
I know, the patent alone
could be worth billions.
1883
01:21:22,378 --> 01:21:24,538
Anyway, I was thinking maybe
we could watch the sunset,
1884
01:21:26,381 --> 01:21:29,116
and then, practice the last
half of the Kama-Sutra.
1885
01:21:30,051 --> 01:21:31,585
That sounds great.
1886
01:21:46,100 --> 01:21:47,668
All right, I was wrong, man.
1887
01:21:48,236 --> 01:21:50,037
This is bad.
1888
01:21:50,039 --> 01:21:51,772
This is real fucking bad.
1889
01:21:55,643 --> 01:21:57,277
How are we supposed
to go through with this?
1890
01:21:57,279 --> 01:21:59,112
Yeah, man. How many
people have you killed?
1891
01:21:59,114 --> 01:22:02,216
None. But my gun has killed a bunch.
Allegedly.
1892
01:22:03,319 --> 01:22:04,651
How are we even
supposed to find her?
1893
01:22:04,653 --> 01:22:06,486
Don't worry, she'll turn up.
1894
01:22:07,655 --> 01:22:08,989
Hey, guys.
1895
01:22:09,357 --> 01:22:10,557
Kenny!
1896
01:22:10,559 --> 01:22:12,125
Kenny!
1897
01:22:12,127 --> 01:22:14,161
Kenny! Kenny's here.
1898
01:22:14,163 --> 01:22:15,829
- Hi, hi. Hi.
- Kenny!
1899
01:22:15,831 --> 01:22:16,897
Okay.
1900
01:22:16,899 --> 01:22:18,966
Uh, anyway, I'm having
a party at the house.
1901
01:22:18,968 --> 01:22:20,567
You know how those are,
Ragers, wouldn't want
1902
01:22:20,569 --> 01:22:22,869
the belles of the ball
to miss it.
1903
01:22:22,871 --> 01:22:25,405
Who are your friends? Look at these
guys, look at them. Matching set.
1904
01:22:25,407 --> 01:22:26,640
Big and tall.
1905
01:22:26,642 --> 01:22:28,575
Strong, silent type. Okay.
1906
01:22:28,577 --> 01:22:30,677
- All right, I get it. You're digging in.
- Yeah, yeah, okay.
1907
01:22:30,679 --> 01:22:32,913
Playing hard to get, huh,
mount Olympus?
1908
01:22:32,915 --> 01:22:34,581
Can't wait to climb you.
1909
01:22:34,583 --> 01:22:35,983
Both!
1910
01:22:37,286 --> 01:22:38,819
Gotta hose you off.
1911
01:22:38,821 --> 01:22:40,921
Let's save that for when the
sun goes down, at least.
1912
01:22:40,923 --> 01:22:42,421
- Come one.
- I have a big appetite.
1913
01:22:42,823 --> 01:22:45,490
I know, I'm stuffed though,
we got to get out of here.
1914
01:22:46,294 --> 01:22:47,427
All right.
1915
01:22:48,263 --> 01:22:49,830
I'll kill her. I'm gonna do it.
1916
01:22:49,832 --> 01:22:50,931
What are you talking about?
1917
01:22:50,933 --> 01:22:52,632
I need a beer if I'm gonna
murder someone.
1918
01:22:52,634 --> 01:22:53,834
Is that all right?
1919
01:22:53,836 --> 01:22:56,402
- Okay.
- What do you want? What type of beer do you guys like?
1920
01:22:56,404 --> 01:22:57,502
Just water.
1921
01:22:57,504 --> 01:23:02,007
Just water? I thought you guys
were murderers, don't be pussies.
1922
01:23:02,377 --> 01:23:04,311
Here you go.
Water for the gentlemen.
1923
01:23:04,313 --> 01:23:06,513
Important to stay hydrated.
1924
01:23:11,052 --> 01:23:12,519
We can't kill her.
1925
01:23:12,521 --> 01:23:15,322
What are we supposed to do? Just
wait and see if she shows up?
1926
01:23:15,324 --> 01:23:16,456
If she shows up.
1927
01:23:16,458 --> 01:23:18,291
I don't know, Harry.
I just don't fucking know
1928
01:23:18,293 --> 01:23:20,053
what I'm doing.
Just going with it right now.
1929
01:23:20,127 --> 01:23:21,194
Hi.
1930
01:23:21,262 --> 01:23:22,629
Oh, shit.
1931
01:23:22,631 --> 01:23:25,265
Um, I was just going to go for a
dive, you know, clear my head.
1932
01:23:25,267 --> 01:23:26,333
Look for the Kraken.
1933
01:23:28,002 --> 01:23:30,404
Sorry. Change of plans.
1934
01:23:44,019 --> 01:23:45,519
You should zip up your suit.
1935
01:24:01,302 --> 01:24:04,738
Wow, you know, I really like what
you guys have done with the place.
1936
01:24:04,740 --> 01:24:06,139
Do you guys summer here?
1937
01:24:06,141 --> 01:24:09,142
No, this is where we keep
the oars, propellers...
1938
01:24:09,144 --> 01:24:10,711
Dead bodies.
1939
01:24:11,779 --> 01:24:12,913
Go ahead.
1940
01:24:20,755 --> 01:24:21,988
No, no, no.
1941
01:24:21,990 --> 01:24:23,223
Sorry.
1942
01:24:28,863 --> 01:24:31,398
- What if I don't do it?
1943
01:24:31,400 --> 01:24:33,300
Then I shoot your friend.
1944
01:24:33,302 --> 01:24:35,068
What if I'm okay with that?
1945
01:24:35,070 --> 01:24:36,636
Listen, either you do it,
1946
01:24:36,638 --> 01:24:39,639
or we shoot you both and use
your hand to shoot her.
1947
01:24:45,213 --> 01:24:47,280
Harry, wait, there's time.
There's still time.
1948
01:24:47,282 --> 01:24:49,883
Hey guys, let me tell you this
quick story about a young boy
1949
01:24:49,885 --> 01:24:51,685
and his unbridled love
of guns n' roses.
1950
01:24:51,687 --> 01:24:52,953
Would you like to hear that...
1951
01:24:52,955 --> 01:24:54,688
- Shut the fuck up!
- You shut the fuck up!
1952
01:24:54,690 --> 01:24:56,355
You know there are
bullets in that thing.
1953
01:24:56,357 --> 01:24:57,623
Shut the fuck up about this...
1954
01:24:57,625 --> 01:24:58,625
Wait! Wait!
1955
01:24:58,627 --> 01:24:59,693
Just hold on a second.
1956
01:24:59,695 --> 01:25:01,261
I gotta say something.
1957
01:25:01,763 --> 01:25:03,230
Bowie.
1958
01:25:03,232 --> 01:25:04,798
I didn't mean
what I said before.
1959
01:25:04,800 --> 01:25:06,867
You don't bring me down.
1960
01:25:06,869 --> 01:25:09,235
Some of the best times I ever
had have been with you, man.
1961
01:25:09,237 --> 01:25:10,237
Yeah?
1962
01:25:10,239 --> 01:25:11,271
You remember that time,
1963
01:25:11,273 --> 01:25:13,140
we waited outside
Fred durst's hotel
1964
01:25:13,142 --> 01:25:14,822
just so he could sign our
red Yankees caps.
1965
01:25:15,510 --> 01:25:17,277
He was
such a fucking dick to us.
1966
01:25:17,279 --> 01:25:19,012
Or the first time
we smoked grass.
1967
01:25:19,014 --> 01:25:20,247
It wasn't really weed.
1968
01:25:20,249 --> 01:25:22,082
It was actual grass
but we still pretended
1969
01:25:22,084 --> 01:25:23,483
that we were high
for three days.
1970
01:25:24,887 --> 01:25:27,254
Look, I don't care
what you do for a living.
1971
01:25:28,222 --> 01:25:29,890
You're my best friend.
1972
01:25:33,060 --> 01:25:34,561
You're not my best friend.
1973
01:25:35,697 --> 01:25:37,464
'Cause you're my brother, man.
1974
01:25:38,599 --> 01:25:40,066
I love you.
1975
01:25:42,236 --> 01:25:44,237
Are you crying?
1976
01:25:44,239 --> 01:25:46,206
If I am, it's
only 'cause of this gun.
1977
01:25:46,208 --> 01:25:47,607
Are you crying?
1978
01:25:51,078 --> 01:25:53,313
That's a beautiful friendship,
right there.
1979
01:25:54,515 --> 01:25:57,350
Okay, no. Look, I've had
enough of whatever this is.
1980
01:25:57,352 --> 01:25:58,885
- Time's up.
- Fuck you!
1981
01:26:02,089 --> 01:26:03,156
Fuck.
1982
01:26:15,903 --> 01:26:18,038
Damn it!
1983
01:26:19,006 --> 01:26:20,974
Okay, you guys are free to go.
1984
01:26:20,976 --> 01:26:22,876
Yeah, it's a good job.
1985
01:26:49,370 --> 01:26:50,537
It's done, boss.
1986
01:26:51,105 --> 01:26:52,172
Good.
1987
01:26:52,840 --> 01:26:54,374
All right.
1988
01:26:54,376 --> 01:26:57,010
Look, get everybody back here.
We're leaving in about...
1989
01:26:57,879 --> 01:26:59,079
Two hours.
1990
01:27:00,214 --> 01:27:02,315
Yeah. Wait a minute. Um,
1991
01:27:03,751 --> 01:27:05,485
bring me back a sandwich.
1992
01:27:06,687 --> 01:27:08,321
I don't care. Surprise me.
1993
01:27:08,990 --> 01:27:10,323
But no onions.
1994
01:27:16,197 --> 01:27:18,932
Where the hell is everybody?
1995
01:27:18,934 --> 01:27:22,502
Oh. Hey guys, let's go,
I want to get out of here.
1996
01:27:26,240 --> 01:27:27,474
Hey, daddy.
1997
01:27:28,276 --> 01:27:31,278
Oh, you want to arrest me?
1998
01:27:31,913 --> 01:27:32,979
Mmm-hmm.
1999
01:27:33,281 --> 01:27:35,282
Good.
2000
01:27:35,284 --> 01:27:38,919
- You have the right
to remain silent.
2001
01:27:38,921 --> 01:27:42,322
I've been wanting
to do this all week.
2002
01:27:42,324 --> 01:27:46,426
Anything you say can be used
against you in a court of law.
2003
01:27:49,064 --> 01:27:51,064
Careful, honey.
I got a glass chin.
2004
01:27:51,465 --> 01:27:52,933
Ah!
2005
01:27:52,935 --> 01:27:55,302
You have the right
to an attorney.
2006
01:27:55,304 --> 01:27:58,872
Oh baby, the things
I'm gonna do to you.
2007
01:27:58,874 --> 01:28:01,608
Vincent Anthony Gambazzo,
you are under arrest
2008
01:28:01,610 --> 01:28:03,577
for trafficking illegal
narcotics,
2009
01:28:03,579 --> 01:28:05,946
racketeering and
conspiracy to commit murder.
2010
01:28:06,447 --> 01:28:08,214
What? Ow! Hey!
2011
01:28:08,749 --> 01:28:10,750
Come here.
2012
01:28:10,752 --> 01:28:12,752
Put your hands behind your head.
2013
01:28:12,754 --> 01:28:14,921
What the fuck is going on?
2014
01:28:15,723 --> 01:28:17,190
You've got nothing on me.
2015
01:28:17,192 --> 01:28:19,792
- What do you do it so tight?
- Put your hands behind your back.
2016
01:28:19,794 --> 01:28:21,754
Does the name Colette Weller
mean anything to you?
2017
01:28:21,795 --> 01:28:22,862
Um, no.
2018
01:28:22,864 --> 01:28:23,964
How about Harry Fluder?
2019
01:28:23,966 --> 01:28:25,899
- Bowie Pemberton?
- Doesn't ring a bell.
2020
01:28:25,901 --> 01:28:26,967
Really?
2021
01:28:26,969 --> 01:28:29,102
'Cause that's
not what they have to say.
2022
01:28:31,939 --> 01:28:33,173
Never heard of us.
2023
01:28:33,175 --> 01:28:34,307
Really?
2024
01:28:34,309 --> 01:28:35,909
Beauregard, remember?
2025
01:28:35,911 --> 01:28:37,911
Lemon water, you thought
we were gay. Come on dude.
2026
01:28:38,546 --> 01:28:39,779
Oh, these guys?
2027
01:28:39,781 --> 01:28:41,247
No, I'm sorry, my bad.
2028
01:28:41,249 --> 01:28:42,482
I'm bad with names.
2029
01:28:42,484 --> 01:28:46,019
Yeah, I know these guys. They've
been guests on my boat.
2030
01:28:46,021 --> 01:28:48,121
So, you're telling me
that I'm under arrest
2031
01:28:48,123 --> 01:28:50,490
for killing three people
that aren't dead?
2032
01:28:50,992 --> 01:28:52,058
Yes, I am.
2033
01:28:52,060 --> 01:28:53,493
You should be indicted
2034
01:28:53,495 --> 01:28:56,563
for conspiring to be an idiot.
2035
01:28:56,565 --> 01:28:58,932
I need you to take care
of somebody for me.
2036
01:28:58,934 --> 01:29:00,800
Um, you know,
not my wife, just...
2037
01:29:01,669 --> 01:29:03,303
That one. And thanks, fellas.
2038
01:29:04,472 --> 01:29:07,173
You're really taking
a load off my mind.
2039
01:29:07,175 --> 01:29:08,541
And that's not even half of it.
2040
01:29:08,543 --> 01:29:10,010
And I've got it all here.
2041
01:29:10,012 --> 01:29:12,512
Enough to put your sad,
soft dick in prison.
2042
01:29:12,514 --> 01:29:14,280
Wait. How did you get
that recording?
2043
01:29:14,282 --> 01:29:17,317
Well, talk about blowjobs
anywhere near a guy's dick and
2044
01:29:17,319 --> 01:29:20,453
I could have tattooed a
rainbow unicorn on you,
2045
01:29:20,455 --> 01:29:21,788
and you
never would have noticed.
2046
01:29:21,790 --> 01:29:23,823
Just stop me, it's a bad habit.
2047
01:29:23,825 --> 01:29:24,923
Oh, oh.
2048
01:29:24,925 --> 01:29:27,794
It's also the least thoroughly
searched area in a pat down.
2049
01:29:27,796 --> 01:29:29,529
All right, come
on guys. Let's go.
2050
01:29:30,364 --> 01:29:31,665
Hold on to me.
2051
01:29:31,667 --> 01:29:33,066
If I trip, I'll sue you.
2052
01:29:33,068 --> 01:29:35,669
Who gives a shit, these are
so fucking tight.
2053
01:29:35,671 --> 01:29:39,039
You know what? You're all uninvited to
my party in the Hamptons, you hear me?
2054
01:29:39,041 --> 01:29:41,708
We also had
Vincent's phone tapped.
2055
01:29:41,710 --> 01:29:44,477
And we recorded this,
right after you guys left.
2056
01:29:44,479 --> 01:29:45,745
As soon as this two
2057
01:29:45,747 --> 01:29:47,714
fuck-sticks are done
taking care of her,
2058
01:29:47,716 --> 01:29:50,083
I want you to take care of them.
2059
01:29:50,518 --> 01:29:51,885
No loose ends.
2060
01:29:52,720 --> 01:29:54,087
Whoa!
2061
01:29:54,089 --> 01:29:55,321
That's pretty cool.
2062
01:29:55,323 --> 01:29:56,856
They wanted to kill you.
2063
01:29:56,858 --> 01:29:59,092
Yeah, but you knew about
it so, it's all right.
2064
01:30:00,662 --> 01:30:02,528
The bug we had on you
only transmitted locally
2065
01:30:02,530 --> 01:30:04,030
so we had no idea
where they took you.
2066
01:30:04,032 --> 01:30:07,000
Our guys couldn't pick you up until
after you called us from the mansion,
2067
01:30:07,002 --> 01:30:08,282
so, how did you get
out of there?
2068
01:30:08,436 --> 01:30:09,969
Oh, so,
2069
01:30:09,971 --> 01:30:11,938
you weren't really
that careful about it.
2070
01:30:11,940 --> 01:30:13,506
Could have got killed.
2071
01:30:13,508 --> 01:30:14,841
Okay, here is what happened.
2072
01:30:14,843 --> 01:30:16,109
All right,
2073
01:30:16,111 --> 01:30:20,246
I can never remember, do we do
this like a burrito or a crepe?
2074
01:30:20,248 --> 01:30:21,815
What's the difference?
2075
01:30:21,817 --> 01:30:23,550
Well, burrito's folded
into a pocket
2076
01:30:23,552 --> 01:30:25,318
but stuff spills out the bottom.
2077
01:30:25,320 --> 01:30:27,087
Whereas, a crepe,
you just fold over
2078
01:30:27,089 --> 01:30:29,189
and it spills out the top.
2079
01:30:29,191 --> 01:30:31,391
Why don't we just roll her
up like a Taquito, then?
2080
01:30:31,393 --> 01:30:33,827
No, see, you're thinking
of a blintz, I think.
2081
01:30:33,829 --> 01:30:35,261
Ah,
2082
01:30:35,263 --> 01:30:36,529
maybe, maybe we'll do, oh...
2083
01:30:36,531 --> 01:30:38,498
Oh... maybe we'll do it
like a hot...
2084
01:30:38,899 --> 01:30:39,966
Hot pocket.
2085
01:30:40,401 --> 01:30:41,501
Kick.
2086
01:30:41,503 --> 01:30:42,902
Hum...
2087
01:30:42,904 --> 01:30:44,871
How are you doing that
with your eyes?
2088
01:30:46,774 --> 01:30:49,242
How are you doing
that with your arm?
2089
01:30:50,611 --> 01:30:51,845
I'm not sure.
2090
01:30:52,346 --> 01:30:53,446
Ah.
2091
01:30:53,448 --> 01:30:54,514
Oh.
2092
01:30:55,549 --> 01:30:57,083
Is that a ninja
2093
01:30:57,085 --> 01:30:58,251
or a samurai?
2094
01:31:00,355 --> 01:31:02,989
Damn it! I would have had
a really cool one liner
2095
01:31:02,991 --> 01:31:04,357
about how badass
that just looked
2096
01:31:04,359 --> 01:31:05,992
if my brain wasn't so fucking
muddled with terror,
2097
01:31:05,994 --> 01:31:09,129
on account you just killed
Colette like a son of a bitch.
2098
01:31:09,131 --> 01:31:11,564
Aw! Did anyone oar-Der
an ass whopping?
2099
01:31:11,566 --> 01:31:13,299
That would have
been perfect, damn it!
2100
01:31:13,301 --> 01:31:14,501
Sorry, it's
not important to what we're
2101
01:31:14,503 --> 01:31:15,769
talking about right now, though.
2102
01:31:15,771 --> 01:31:16,869
Bowie!
2103
01:31:16,871 --> 01:31:19,172
Why the fuck did you do that?
I was trying to buy us time.
2104
01:31:19,174 --> 01:31:21,674
I drugged those two assholes, we
just needed two more minutes.
2105
01:31:21,676 --> 01:31:23,409
- Bowie!
- No, don't bowie me, man.
2106
01:31:23,411 --> 01:31:25,209
We just made up
and now I'm going to have to
2107
01:31:25,211 --> 01:31:28,147
fucking testify against you in court.
They're going to say, "who was it?"
2108
01:31:28,149 --> 01:31:30,282
And I'm not a liar. So, I'm
gonna have to point at you
2109
01:31:30,284 --> 01:31:32,251
and I'm gonna have to say,
"it was fucking Harry."
2110
01:31:32,253 --> 01:31:33,352
Bowie!
2111
01:31:33,354 --> 01:31:34,420
Holy shit, Colette!
2112
01:31:34,421 --> 01:31:35,588
You okay?
2113
01:31:35,590 --> 01:31:36,923
Why are you not dead?
2114
01:31:36,925 --> 01:31:38,524
I mean, I'm really
glad you're not dead,
2115
01:31:38,526 --> 01:31:40,860
but why the fuck
are you not dead?
2116
01:31:40,862 --> 01:31:44,130
Fuck squid. They are like
the assholes of the ocean.
2117
01:31:44,132 --> 01:31:47,467
That's why all the deep-sea divers
had to wear those special wet suits
2118
01:31:47,469 --> 01:31:49,469
it had so much Chainmail
on it, it was basically...
2119
01:31:50,638 --> 01:31:51,905
Bullet-proof.
2120
01:31:51,907 --> 01:31:53,006
You knew it!
2121
01:31:53,008 --> 01:31:54,474
So, you're
not just like a murderer.
2122
01:31:57,512 --> 01:31:58,645
You should zip up your suit.
2123
01:31:59,380 --> 01:32:00,480
Trust me.
2124
01:32:01,148 --> 01:32:02,282
Okay.
2125
01:32:11,325 --> 01:32:13,026
This is big, Harry.
2126
01:32:13,028 --> 01:32:14,527
I am fucking jacked up
right now.
2127
01:32:14,862 --> 01:32:16,095
You okay?
2128
01:32:16,097 --> 01:32:17,163
Yeah, yeah.
2129
01:32:17,565 --> 01:32:18,998
Good shot.
2130
01:32:19,000 --> 01:32:20,466
I was aiming for your leg.
2131
01:32:20,835 --> 01:32:22,035
Never mind.
2132
01:32:22,037 --> 01:32:23,135
This is great.
2133
01:32:23,137 --> 01:32:26,272
Isn't this great? Look around. Look
at what we did. This is so great.
2134
01:32:26,274 --> 01:32:27,674
Where did you get the drugs?
2135
01:32:27,676 --> 01:32:28,741
Oh, dude.
2136
01:32:29,777 --> 01:32:30,844
It was Kenny.
2137
01:32:31,312 --> 01:32:32,478
Guys!
2138
01:32:32,480 --> 01:32:33,580
Kenny!
2139
01:32:33,582 --> 01:32:34,714
Kenny!
2140
01:32:34,716 --> 01:32:36,049
Kenny!
2141
01:32:36,051 --> 01:32:37,784
Good to see Kenny!
2142
01:32:37,786 --> 01:32:39,552
Kenny, we're in trouble,
do you have mints?
2143
01:32:39,554 --> 01:32:41,254
- Back pocket.
- Oh, Kenny!
2144
01:32:42,022 --> 01:32:44,190
- Hi, hi. Hi.
- Kenny!
2145
01:32:47,862 --> 01:32:49,929
Here. Water for the gentlemen.
2146
01:32:49,931 --> 01:32:51,231
Important to stay hydrated.
2147
01:32:52,066 --> 01:32:54,067
Ow, ow, gentle, gentle! Oh, god.
2148
01:32:54,069 --> 01:32:56,269
I can't believe you
fucking did it, man.
2149
01:32:56,271 --> 01:32:58,571
Yeah, yeah, can we just
get out of here? -Wait.
2150
01:33:01,675 --> 01:33:03,009
I have an idea.
2151
01:33:05,779 --> 01:33:07,580
Is this really necessary?
2152
01:33:07,582 --> 01:33:09,983
Told you I wouldn't be
caught dead in those clothes.
2153
01:33:12,486 --> 01:33:13,653
Watch you head, Colette.
2154
01:33:17,224 --> 01:33:18,291
Son of a...
2155
01:33:33,173 --> 01:33:35,041
It's done, boss.
2156
01:33:35,043 --> 01:33:36,976
Scientifically speaking,
what we did is called
2157
01:33:36,978 --> 01:33:38,611
crocodile Dundee ii -ing.
2158
01:33:38,613 --> 01:33:40,647
This is where he switches
clothes with the bad guy
2159
01:33:40,649 --> 01:33:43,283
so that the other bad guys shoot
their boss instead of him.
2160
01:33:44,118 --> 01:33:45,418
Wow!
2161
01:33:45,420 --> 01:33:46,619
I've got to say, I'm...
2162
01:33:46,621 --> 01:33:47,820
I'm impressed.
2163
01:33:47,822 --> 01:33:48,955
What do you say, like,
2164
01:33:48,957 --> 01:33:50,437
maybe when we get
back to the mainland
2165
01:33:51,158 --> 01:33:52,358
go on like, a date?
2166
01:33:54,128 --> 01:33:55,662
You seem like a pretty nice guy.
2167
01:33:56,263 --> 01:33:57,797
I know, thanks.
2168
01:33:57,799 --> 01:33:59,098
So, how should I put this?
2169
01:33:59,100 --> 01:34:00,767
Um... mmm!
2170
01:34:00,769 --> 01:34:02,802
- You see that, right there?
- Yeah.
2171
01:34:02,804 --> 01:34:06,372
I'd rather shove that up my
ass and pull it out my vagina
2172
01:34:06,374 --> 01:34:07,607
than do anything with you.
2173
01:34:08,309 --> 01:34:10,910
Whoa!
2174
01:34:10,912 --> 01:34:12,912
What a Grosso!
2175
01:34:12,914 --> 01:34:14,280
What a fuckin' nut!
2176
01:34:14,282 --> 01:34:15,548
Did you hear that?
2177
01:34:15,550 --> 01:34:17,650
Oh yeah, we heard all that.
2178
01:34:17,652 --> 01:34:19,452
Oh my god, man.
2179
01:34:19,454 --> 01:34:22,255
I think I'm in love, I bet
she's into some weird shit.
2180
01:34:22,257 --> 01:34:23,556
Wait! Hold on! I love you!
2181
01:34:23,558 --> 01:34:24,991
Match made in heaven.
2182
01:34:27,261 --> 01:34:28,461
Well, um,
2183
01:34:28,463 --> 01:34:29,929
it was really great meeting you.
2184
01:34:29,931 --> 01:34:31,197
Thanks for shooting me.
2185
01:34:31,598 --> 01:34:32,697
You're welcome.
2186
01:34:32,699 --> 01:34:36,436
Now, if you ask me if I've ever killed
someone, I can say that I tried.
2187
01:34:36,438 --> 01:34:39,305
Yeah, how about next time,
we overthrow a dictator.
2188
01:34:39,307 --> 01:34:41,407
Or, yeah, we could stop
a bank robbery.
2189
01:34:41,875 --> 01:34:43,142
Yeah.
2190
01:34:44,178 --> 01:34:45,611
Or just play it by ear.
2191
01:34:47,214 --> 01:34:50,216
That would really mess
with my plans.
2192
01:34:50,218 --> 01:34:51,918
Hey! Where are
you going? Freeze!
2193
01:34:51,920 --> 01:34:52,986
I'll get you, you bitch.
2194
01:35:06,900 --> 01:35:08,134
Whoa!
2195
01:35:10,038 --> 01:35:11,437
Oh no!
2196
01:35:11,439 --> 01:35:13,239
Was that the first time
you guys were gonna...
2197
01:35:13,474 --> 01:35:14,974
I ruined it.
2198
01:35:14,976 --> 01:35:16,175
Shit!
2199
01:35:16,177 --> 01:35:18,044
Okay, well, keep
going and all that.
2200
01:35:18,579 --> 01:35:20,046
You guys are cute!
2201
01:35:20,514 --> 01:35:21,714
Hi.
2202
01:35:32,394 --> 01:35:35,595
- Help, help.
- All right, I got you.
2203
01:35:37,197 --> 01:35:39,565
Dude, that trip was
exactly what I needed.
2204
01:35:39,567 --> 01:35:41,100
You know what?
2205
01:35:41,102 --> 01:35:42,468
Me too.
2206
01:35:42,470 --> 01:35:44,303
- For real?
- Yeah, man, I feel great.
2207
01:35:44,305 --> 01:35:46,706
I like this new Harry, man.
What are going to do now?
2208
01:35:46,708 --> 01:35:49,709
Oh, I got this text
on the plane.
2209
01:35:49,711 --> 01:35:52,545
I guess I should just
probably go back in to work.
2210
01:35:53,648 --> 01:35:55,048
Dude, I haven't
got shit, this week.
2211
01:35:55,416 --> 01:35:56,749
I'm coming.
2212
01:35:56,751 --> 01:35:58,885
I still have no idea
what you do for work.
2213
01:35:58,887 --> 01:36:01,054
I work hard, man, what else
do you need to know?
2213
01:36:02,305 --> 01:36:08,653
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