1 00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:04,201 Subtitle By: GoldenBeard & Improved By: Fidel33 Sub Upload Date: July 9, 2018 2 00:00:04,403 --> 00:00:08,539 (DRUMROLL) 3 00:00:08,541 --> 00:00:13,046 (FANFARE PLAYING) 4 00:00:21,755 --> 00:00:23,890 (MUSIC ENDS) 5 00:00:25,000 --> 00:00:31,074 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today 6 00:00:33,567 --> 00:00:36,834 ♪ Yes, I ride the lightning, yes, I'm on the go ♪ 7 00:00:36,836 --> 00:00:40,337 ♪ And when I go down slow, I need more power now ♪ 8 00:00:40,339 --> 00:00:43,273 ♪ It keeps me damn lucky, yes, I just won't stop ♪ 9 00:00:43,275 --> 00:00:47,479 ♪ I'm lit to pop, oh, yes, I got the power now ♪ 10 00:00:47,481 --> 00:00:51,919 (♪ MUSIC ♪) 11 00:00:55,856 --> 00:00:59,190 ♪ I got a secret that I'm gonna tell ♪ 12 00:00:59,192 --> 00:01:03,294 ♪ I'm feeling power from the pit of Hell, yeah ♪ 13 00:01:03,296 --> 00:01:05,532 (SIREN WAILING) 14 00:01:09,035 --> 00:01:11,569 ♪ The power's flowing and it just won't stop ♪ 15 00:01:11,571 --> 00:01:13,104 (INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER) 16 00:01:13,106 --> 00:01:16,074 ♪ I touch a woman, make the flesh burn hot, yeah ♪ 17 00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:19,713 ♪ Want love to spread, I think I'm gonna spread it ♪ 18 00:01:22,047 --> 00:01:25,584 ♪ The secret's easy, now lend me your ear ♪ 19 00:01:25,586 --> 00:01:28,152 ♪ Don't hesitate, there's not a thing to fear ♪ 20 00:01:28,154 --> 00:01:31,354 ♪ Oh yes I ride the lightning, yes I'm on the go ♪ 21 00:01:31,356 --> 00:01:35,360 ♪ And when I go down slow I need more power now ♪ 22 00:01:35,362 --> 00:01:37,328 (POUNDING) 23 00:01:37,330 --> 00:01:39,763 (ROCK MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING) 24 00:01:39,765 --> 00:01:42,033 Do you know how fast you were going? 25 00:01:42,035 --> 00:01:43,737 No, I don't, Officer. 26 00:01:44,503 --> 00:01:46,604 Turn that radio off, please. 27 00:01:46,606 --> 00:01:49,908 That's not the radio. That's the band practicing. 28 00:01:49,910 --> 00:01:51,244 (SNIFFING) 29 00:01:54,047 --> 00:01:55,378 Is that marijuana? 30 00:01:55,380 --> 00:01:56,513 (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) 31 00:01:56,515 --> 00:01:58,282 You got a party bowl up there? 32 00:01:58,284 --> 00:01:59,384 Mm, nah. 33 00:01:59,386 --> 00:02:02,220 It's okay, it's okay. Is it good? 34 00:02:02,222 --> 00:02:03,220 (STRAINED) Mm. 35 00:02:03,222 --> 00:02:07,491 Yeah. Open it up! I'm fucking boarding you! 36 00:02:07,493 --> 00:02:10,627 DRIVER: 5-0! 5-0 coming on board. 37 00:02:10,629 --> 00:02:12,797 Officer, you can't just waltz on in here! 38 00:02:12,799 --> 00:02:14,331 Do you know who these guys are? 39 00:02:14,333 --> 00:02:16,533 Unplug this shit right now. 40 00:02:16,535 --> 00:02:18,067 (ROCK MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING) 41 00:02:18,069 --> 00:02:19,539 No way. 42 00:02:20,407 --> 00:02:21,972 No fucking way. 43 00:02:21,974 --> 00:02:24,942 ♪ I got a secret that I'm gonna tell ♪ 44 00:02:24,944 --> 00:02:28,512 ♪ I'm feeling power from the pit of hell, yeah ♪ 45 00:02:28,514 --> 00:02:30,548 ♪ I got something to say ♪ 46 00:02:30,550 --> 00:02:32,349 ♪ I think I'm gonna say it ♪ 47 00:02:32,351 --> 00:02:33,553 Holy shit! 48 00:02:35,720 --> 00:02:36,988 You guys are the highway cops 49 00:02:36,990 --> 00:02:39,390 that got shut down and became local cops. 50 00:02:39,392 --> 00:02:41,726 Then due to some kinda crazy "incident"... 51 00:02:41,728 --> 00:02:43,593 you got kicked off of that force, 52 00:02:43,595 --> 00:02:44,961 so you started playing music. 53 00:02:44,963 --> 00:02:47,734 And before you knew it, you won America's Got Talent. 54 00:02:48,468 --> 00:02:50,067 You're Cracklin' Bacon! 55 00:02:50,069 --> 00:02:52,402 What a long, strange trip it's been. 56 00:02:52,404 --> 00:02:53,804 I love you guys! (CHUCKLING) 57 00:02:53,806 --> 00:02:55,705 Oh, I gotta tell my partner. 58 00:02:55,707 --> 00:02:57,307 He's not gonna believe this! Okay, hold on. 59 00:02:57,309 --> 00:02:59,476 - Dude, you gotta get over here right now. - WAGNER: Copy. 60 00:02:59,478 --> 00:03:00,544 He's gonna shit his pants. 61 00:03:00,546 --> 00:03:01,679 MAC: You know what would be hilarious? 62 00:03:01,681 --> 00:03:02,780 When he comes on the bus, 63 00:03:02,782 --> 00:03:04,348 kick him in the nuts as hard as you can. 64 00:03:04,350 --> 00:03:06,016 - Really? - Just drill the guy! 65 00:03:06,018 --> 00:03:07,785 What the hell is going on in here? 66 00:03:07,787 --> 00:03:09,289 - (GROANS) - (ALL EXCLAIMING) 67 00:03:09,755 --> 00:03:11,288 (WAGNER COUGHING) 68 00:03:11,290 --> 00:03:13,159 (LAUGHTER) 69 00:03:14,159 --> 00:03:17,961 Oh, my God! You're Cracklin' Bacon! 70 00:03:17,963 --> 00:03:19,864 You guys are my favorite band, like, ever! 71 00:03:19,866 --> 00:03:22,365 What? You didn't even know who Cracklin' Bacon was... 72 00:03:22,367 --> 00:03:23,434 until I played them for you. 73 00:03:23,436 --> 00:03:24,502 Yeah, I did! 74 00:03:24,504 --> 00:03:26,037 Oh, really? What's your favorite song? 75 00:03:26,039 --> 00:03:26,904 "Pulled Pork." 76 00:03:26,906 --> 00:03:28,605 - Yeah? How does it go then? - Uh... 77 00:03:28,607 --> 00:03:31,476 ♪ I'm gonna eat you like a pulled pork sandwich ♪ 78 00:03:31,478 --> 00:03:34,579 ♪ Get inside your bread like a hot steak Manwich ♪ 79 00:03:34,581 --> 00:03:36,413 (ALL EXCLAIMING) 80 00:03:36,415 --> 00:03:37,882 This guy's got some pipes! 81 00:03:37,884 --> 00:03:40,817 Hey, how would you like to join Cracklin' Bacon? 82 00:03:40,819 --> 00:03:42,319 We're looking for a new lead singer. 83 00:03:42,321 --> 00:03:43,488 Holy shit! (LAUGHING) 84 00:03:43,490 --> 00:03:45,355 Yeah, oh, I can do it better than him. 85 00:03:45,357 --> 00:03:48,158 ♪ I'm gonna eat you like a pulled pork sandwich ♪ 86 00:03:48,160 --> 00:03:52,263 ♪ Kung Fu you like a Jackie Chan-wich ♪ 87 00:03:52,265 --> 00:03:53,496 - (ALL EXCLAIMS) - Not bad. 88 00:03:53,498 --> 00:03:54,565 (LAUGHS) 89 00:03:54,567 --> 00:03:56,067 You guys clearly have the sound. 90 00:03:56,069 --> 00:03:58,635 But do you have the moves? Hit it. 91 00:03:58,637 --> 00:04:00,471 (BAND PLAYING ROCK MUSIC) 92 00:04:00,473 --> 00:04:02,806 - Fist-pumps! - (ALL CHEERING) 93 00:04:02,808 --> 00:04:04,876 - Pelvic thrusts. - (BOTH PUFFING) 94 00:04:04,878 --> 00:04:06,377 Shake your tail feathers. 95 00:04:06,379 --> 00:04:07,679 - Shake that ass. - (ALL CHEERS) 96 00:04:07,681 --> 00:04:08,779 Now kiss each other. 97 00:04:08,781 --> 00:04:09,948 I'm sorry. Come again? 98 00:04:09,950 --> 00:04:11,615 Come on, rock and roll! Rock and roll, baby! 99 00:04:11,617 --> 00:04:12,949 - WOMAN #1: Do it! - MEN: Kiss him! 100 00:04:12,951 --> 00:04:15,353 (CHANTING) Kiss him! Kiss him! Kiss him! Kiss him! 101 00:04:15,355 --> 00:04:17,658 (ROCK MUSIC CONTINUES) 102 00:04:19,226 --> 00:04:20,491 (ALL EXCLAIMING) 103 00:04:20,493 --> 00:04:22,393 (LAUGHTER) 104 00:04:22,395 --> 00:04:23,727 I knew you were fucking with us. 105 00:04:23,729 --> 00:04:25,028 You're fucking with us, man! 106 00:04:25,030 --> 00:04:26,830 All right, all right. You guys clearly have 107 00:04:26,832 --> 00:04:28,165 what it takes for rock and roll. 108 00:04:28,167 --> 00:04:30,267 But there's one more test you gotta pass 109 00:04:30,269 --> 00:04:32,869 before we let you join Cracklin' Bacon. 110 00:04:32,871 --> 00:04:36,607 We wanna know if you can keep up with Juicy Lucy. 111 00:04:36,609 --> 00:04:37,741 (ALL EXCLAIM TEASINGLY) 112 00:04:37,743 --> 00:04:39,609 She looks pretty juicy to me. 113 00:04:39,611 --> 00:04:40,710 Oh, no, she's in the back, okay? 114 00:04:40,712 --> 00:04:42,748 But I warn you, she can be quite a handful. 115 00:04:43,649 --> 00:04:45,148 Let's go handle that! 116 00:04:45,150 --> 00:04:48,419 ALL: (CHANTING) Juicy Lucy! Juicy Lucy! Juicy Lucy! 117 00:04:48,421 --> 00:04:50,757 About to get juicy up in here! 118 00:04:51,424 --> 00:04:52,689 WOMAN #1: Hey, baby. 119 00:04:52,691 --> 00:04:54,058 Hello, Juicy Lucy. 120 00:04:54,060 --> 00:04:56,794 Oh, that's not Lucy. Lucy's better. 121 00:04:56,796 --> 00:04:58,265 (CHUCKLES) Oh, man! 122 00:04:59,765 --> 00:05:01,398 Fellas, on the other side of this door 123 00:05:01,400 --> 00:05:04,635 is everlasting fame and glory. 124 00:05:04,637 --> 00:05:07,705 You get the giney, I'll get the hiney. 125 00:05:07,707 --> 00:05:08,974 (BEEPS) 126 00:05:10,010 --> 00:05:12,479 Say hello to Lucy! (YELLS) 127 00:05:13,279 --> 00:05:14,347 (BOTH GROANS) 128 00:05:15,681 --> 00:05:17,549 Move it or lose it! It's time to cruise it! 129 00:05:17,551 --> 00:05:18,683 Let's do it! 130 00:05:18,685 --> 00:05:20,184 (TYRES SCREECH) 131 00:05:20,186 --> 00:05:21,518 Motherfucker! 132 00:05:21,520 --> 00:05:23,957 (BAND PLAYING ROCK MUSIC) 133 00:05:25,258 --> 00:05:27,224 (TYRES SCREECHING) 134 00:05:27,226 --> 00:05:29,061 (ALL CHEERING) 135 00:05:30,229 --> 00:05:31,095 (LAUGHING) 136 00:05:31,097 --> 00:05:32,929 - Son-of-a-bitch! - Crap damnit! 137 00:05:32,931 --> 00:05:36,200 We sang our hearts off for those guys. Our hearts! 138 00:05:36,202 --> 00:05:37,938 (SIREN WAILING) 139 00:05:41,306 --> 00:05:42,408 THORNY: We got company. 140 00:05:44,144 --> 00:05:45,378 (ALL EXCLAIMING) 141 00:05:47,113 --> 00:05:48,148 (LAUGHING) 142 00:05:50,683 --> 00:05:52,984 Can't outrun the law, motherfucker! 143 00:05:52,986 --> 00:05:56,619 ♪ Don't hesitate, there's not a thing to fear ♪ 144 00:05:56,621 --> 00:05:59,556 Fuck you, Cracklin' Bacon! 145 00:05:59,558 --> 00:06:00,857 Whoa! 146 00:06:00,859 --> 00:06:02,061 (TYRES SCREECHING) 147 00:06:03,863 --> 00:06:06,032 (OFFICERS SCREAMING) 148 00:06:07,065 --> 00:06:08,167 Oh, shit! 149 00:06:10,436 --> 00:06:12,138 (ALL EXCLAIMING) 150 00:06:12,505 --> 00:06:13,839 Motherfucker. 151 00:06:15,041 --> 00:06:16,607 Eat it. Eat it. Eat it. Eat it. 152 00:06:16,609 --> 00:06:18,042 (GUNSHOTS) 153 00:06:18,044 --> 00:06:20,143 - (GUNSHOTS CONTINUE) - (SHOUTING) 154 00:06:20,145 --> 00:06:21,413 Ah. 155 00:06:26,352 --> 00:06:27,984 (ALL CHEERING) 156 00:06:27,986 --> 00:06:29,852 Suck these fucking bullets, bitch! 157 00:06:29,854 --> 00:06:31,424 - (GUNSHOTS) - (GLASS SHATTERS) 158 00:06:33,325 --> 00:06:35,493 (GASPS AND WHIMPERS) 159 00:06:35,495 --> 00:06:36,994 - (GLASS SHATTERS) - (MUSIC STOPS) 160 00:06:36,996 --> 00:06:39,664 Oh, shit! Mac. Hey, stay with me. Stay with me. 161 00:06:39,666 --> 00:06:43,503 (WHEEZING) We almost got those stupid cops... 162 00:06:44,669 --> 00:06:45,936 (CHUCKLES) 163 00:06:45,938 --> 00:06:48,074 - ...to kiss. - Shit. 164 00:06:48,440 --> 00:06:50,510 (SCREAMING) 165 00:06:52,578 --> 00:06:53,846 What's that? 166 00:06:54,813 --> 00:06:56,015 What the... 167 00:06:56,582 --> 00:06:58,184 Whoa! (YELLS) 168 00:06:58,751 --> 00:07:01,253 (OFFICERS SHRIEKING) 169 00:07:07,193 --> 00:07:08,195 Shit! 170 00:07:08,693 --> 00:07:10,196 (SIGHS) 171 00:07:10,697 --> 00:07:12,065 Hey. 172 00:07:12,964 --> 00:07:14,732 I still love those guys. 173 00:07:14,734 --> 00:07:16,700 Yeah, they're cool as hell. (CHUCKLES) 174 00:07:16,702 --> 00:07:18,201 I mean, look at him. 175 00:07:18,203 --> 00:07:19,205 Still cool. 176 00:07:20,839 --> 00:07:22,573 We should probably hide that body, though. 177 00:07:22,575 --> 00:07:23,577 Yeah. 178 00:07:25,178 --> 00:07:26,980 Hey, great driving, Thorn! 179 00:07:27,412 --> 00:07:29,046 Thorny? Thorny? 180 00:07:29,048 --> 00:07:30,780 Oh, my God! He's dead! 181 00:07:30,782 --> 00:07:32,215 - Oh, no! - Ha-ha! 182 00:07:32,217 --> 00:07:33,784 - Aha! - I got you, motherfucker! 183 00:07:33,786 --> 00:07:35,152 (LAUGHTER) 184 00:07:35,154 --> 00:07:37,891 - I'm not dead! I'm alive! - He's alive! 185 00:07:38,590 --> 00:07:39,592 Look out! 186 00:07:40,325 --> 00:07:41,693 Holy... 187 00:07:41,695 --> 00:07:43,129 (ALL YELLING) 188 00:07:44,296 --> 00:07:46,398 (ALL SCREAMING) 189 00:07:48,702 --> 00:07:50,337 - (GRUNTS) - (SCREAMING CONTINUES) 190 00:07:51,203 --> 00:07:52,504 (SHOUTS) 191 00:07:53,606 --> 00:07:55,642 - Ahhh! - (YELLING) 192 00:07:57,109 --> 00:07:58,444 (SHOUTS MANIACALLY) 193 00:07:58,878 --> 00:08:01,414 (BOTH SCREAMING) 194 00:08:02,647 --> 00:08:04,080 - (FARVA LAUGHS) - (SIGHS) 195 00:08:04,082 --> 00:08:06,150 You sleeping, baby boy? 196 00:08:06,152 --> 00:08:08,385 No, I'm just checking out the ceiling, Farva. 197 00:08:08,387 --> 00:08:09,520 Good work up there. 198 00:08:09,522 --> 00:08:11,354 All right, pull out your caulk and let's go. 199 00:08:11,356 --> 00:08:12,489 What? 200 00:08:12,491 --> 00:08:14,825 Let's go! I'm standing here with my caulk in my hand. 201 00:08:14,827 --> 00:08:16,326 Grab your caulk, let's put it in the holes! 202 00:08:16,328 --> 00:08:17,595 Come on, let me see that big caulk. 203 00:08:17,597 --> 00:08:18,695 Oh, shut up. 204 00:08:18,697 --> 00:08:19,996 Show me your Rabbit caulk! 205 00:08:19,998 --> 00:08:21,064 MAC: You know what's funny, Farva? 206 00:08:21,066 --> 00:08:22,633 You've made that joke 400 times 207 00:08:22,635 --> 00:08:23,801 and it still sucks. 208 00:08:23,803 --> 00:08:25,001 Fuck you, Mac. 209 00:08:25,003 --> 00:08:26,436 You don't talk to your site supervisor like that. 210 00:08:26,438 --> 00:08:28,539 That's one demerit on your permanent record. 211 00:08:28,541 --> 00:08:30,506 (GASPS)On my permanent construction record? 212 00:08:30,508 --> 00:08:32,109 That's right. You want another one, keep it up. 213 00:08:32,111 --> 00:08:33,476 Yeah, give me another and I'll pinch your dick. 214 00:08:33,478 --> 00:08:35,812 - That's two. You want to go for three? - Okay. 215 00:08:35,814 --> 00:08:37,480 Bingo! You got it! You want another one? 216 00:08:37,482 --> 00:08:39,149 - Pretty, pretty please. - You got it! 217 00:08:39,151 --> 00:08:40,450 - You want another one? - I'll take them all! 218 00:08:40,452 --> 00:08:41,786 That's seven! You want another one?! 219 00:08:41,788 --> 00:08:42,853 Give me ten! 220 00:08:42,855 --> 00:08:44,220 Bingo! 221 00:08:44,222 --> 00:08:46,290 Mac! Stop. 222 00:08:46,292 --> 00:08:50,061 You mess with the bull, you get covered in bullshit. 223 00:08:50,063 --> 00:08:52,265 (CHEWING LOUDLY) 224 00:08:55,500 --> 00:08:57,500 - What a tool. - Yeah. 225 00:08:57,502 --> 00:08:59,003 I had the craziest dream. 226 00:08:59,005 --> 00:09:00,571 Who were the cops this time? 227 00:09:00,573 --> 00:09:01,939 Stifler and Damon Wayans Jr. 228 00:09:01,941 --> 00:09:03,074 Did they almost kiss? 229 00:09:03,076 --> 00:09:05,976 Yeah. Yeah. Almost got them to. 230 00:09:05,978 --> 00:09:07,878 (COUNTRY MUSIC RINGTONE PLAYING) 231 00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:09,012 Uh, hello. 232 00:09:09,014 --> 00:09:11,715 - Morning, Mac! - Good morning, Uncle Argyle. 233 00:09:11,717 --> 00:09:14,685 Code names? Is Farva nearby? 234 00:09:14,687 --> 00:09:15,920 Oh, yeah. Spitting distance. 235 00:09:15,922 --> 00:09:18,187 Do me a favor, spackle his mouth shut. 236 00:09:18,189 --> 00:09:19,523 MAC: (LAUGHS) Okay, will do. 237 00:09:19,525 --> 00:09:22,659 So, change of location for this weekend's fishing trip. 238 00:09:22,661 --> 00:09:24,295 Just over the Canadian border. 239 00:09:24,297 --> 00:09:26,162 Oh, sweet! I love Canada. 240 00:09:26,164 --> 00:09:29,200 (CHUCKLES) Good one! I'll mail you the address. 241 00:09:29,202 --> 00:09:31,902 - What, like with a stamp? Just text me. - Text? 242 00:09:31,904 --> 00:09:35,340 Oh, you mean like, uh, mail text? Yeah. 243 00:09:35,342 --> 00:09:37,941 I do believe I have that facility on this phone. 244 00:09:37,943 --> 00:09:39,343 Okay, will do. 245 00:09:39,345 --> 00:09:41,311 That's it. I'm teaching you how to text this weekend. 246 00:09:41,313 --> 00:09:43,013 - No personal calls, Mac. - What the fuck? 247 00:09:43,015 --> 00:09:45,748 - Whoop. - Oh, God damn it, Farva. 248 00:09:45,750 --> 00:09:48,418 - I told you no personal calls. - It was a sales call. 249 00:09:48,420 --> 00:09:49,720 Oh, yeah? What were they selling? 250 00:09:49,722 --> 00:09:51,622 Ooh, was it canned salmon? I love canned salmon. 251 00:09:51,624 --> 00:09:53,791 It's better than tuna, you know. It's a salty fish. 252 00:09:53,793 --> 00:09:54,892 I like a salty fish. 253 00:09:54,894 --> 00:09:56,527 Like a grouper or maybe a branzino. 254 00:09:56,529 --> 00:09:58,595 Something that really jerks off your blood pressure. 255 00:09:58,597 --> 00:10:01,132 You know what's salty? Turtle. You ever had turtle before? 256 00:10:01,134 --> 00:10:02,800 Saltiest part? The shell. 257 00:10:02,802 --> 00:10:04,935 What do I have to say to get you to end this conversation? 258 00:10:04,937 --> 00:10:06,336 You could say, "The guy on the phone 259 00:10:06,338 --> 00:10:08,104 was trying to sell me hard dicks." 260 00:10:08,106 --> 00:10:10,007 The guy on the phone was trying to sell me hard dicks. 261 00:10:10,009 --> 00:10:11,908 I bet you bought a baker's dozen. (LAUGHS) 262 00:10:11,910 --> 00:10:13,109 Let's lay some caulk! 263 00:10:13,111 --> 00:10:15,615 I got fresh caulk, everybody! Hot caulk here. 264 00:10:16,549 --> 00:10:18,681 Who wants caulk? 265 00:10:18,683 --> 00:10:21,218 MAC: He really wants to leave right from work, huh? 266 00:10:21,220 --> 00:10:23,223 RABBIT: He said, "Real men travel light." 267 00:10:26,726 --> 00:10:29,162 (GRUNTING) 268 00:10:35,134 --> 00:10:37,270 God, he looks ridiculous. 269 00:10:40,505 --> 00:10:42,306 No, I think he looks pretty cool. 270 00:10:42,308 --> 00:10:43,541 Like the Brawny Paper Towel Guy. 271 00:10:43,543 --> 00:10:46,210 See, I was gonna say the Bombay Paper Towel Guy. 272 00:10:46,212 --> 00:10:47,311 - RABBIT: Hey, Thorn. - MAC: Hey. 273 00:10:47,313 --> 00:10:49,913 Job sucks. It's all sap and splinters. 274 00:10:49,915 --> 00:10:51,014 (MAC LAUGHS) 275 00:10:51,016 --> 00:10:52,649 Now it smells like Bombay. 276 00:10:52,651 --> 00:10:53,984 - You wanna put that shirt back on? - Whew! 277 00:10:53,986 --> 00:10:55,119 Breathe it in, little fella. 278 00:10:55,121 --> 00:10:56,619 That's the smell of a mountain man. 279 00:10:56,621 --> 00:10:59,156 Right. Okay, what time you due back at the hobo zoo? 280 00:10:59,158 --> 00:11:00,592 - (LAUGHS) - (SIREN CHIRPS) 281 00:11:04,962 --> 00:11:06,229 Hey, hey! 282 00:11:06,231 --> 00:11:07,531 What's up, guys? 283 00:11:07,533 --> 00:11:08,899 Nice ride! 284 00:11:08,901 --> 00:11:10,133 RABBIT: Hey, Chief. 285 00:11:10,135 --> 00:11:11,438 Son of a bitch. 286 00:11:12,203 --> 00:11:13,970 - Ta-da! - MEN: Hey! 287 00:11:13,972 --> 00:11:15,473 What's up, Foster? 288 00:11:15,475 --> 00:11:16,541 He is all yours. 289 00:11:16,543 --> 00:11:19,009 I'm tired of him riding in my sidecar anyway. 290 00:11:19,011 --> 00:11:20,543 That's not what you said last night. 291 00:11:20,545 --> 00:11:22,079 OFFICER: (ON RADIO) Chief, we have a 214 292 00:11:22,081 --> 00:11:23,614 out at the Shuck n' Rack Motel. 293 00:11:23,616 --> 00:11:24,715 Officer needs guidance. 294 00:11:24,717 --> 00:11:26,349 - I'll be right there. - OFFICER: (ON RADIO) Copy. 295 00:11:26,351 --> 00:11:28,152 (SIGHS) I wish you guys didn't get fired. 296 00:11:28,154 --> 00:11:30,888 We weren't fired. We were invited to resign. 297 00:11:30,890 --> 00:11:32,255 - Ah. - Ooh, I like that. 298 00:11:32,257 --> 00:11:35,057 No, you were fired. There was that ride-along gone wrong. 299 00:11:35,059 --> 00:11:37,060 Then you were fired. 300 00:11:37,062 --> 00:11:38,662 We'll just have to agree to disagree. 301 00:11:38,664 --> 00:11:39,796 All right. 302 00:11:39,798 --> 00:11:41,998 Well, you fellas have fun. 303 00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:44,234 Just get him back in one piece, all right? 304 00:11:44,236 --> 00:11:46,637 With the rod. I'm gonna need it next weekend. 305 00:11:46,639 --> 00:11:47,704 Hello! 306 00:11:47,706 --> 00:11:48,672 That's my girl. 307 00:11:48,674 --> 00:11:50,375 All right, boys, let's go fishing. 308 00:11:53,411 --> 00:11:55,177 THORNY: And the beauty is, the black is so black 309 00:11:55,179 --> 00:11:56,346 that it's really blue. 310 00:11:56,348 --> 00:11:58,282 I mean, it's really midnight blue. 311 00:11:58,284 --> 00:12:00,082 Ah, just like the old days, huh? 312 00:12:00,084 --> 00:12:01,417 Driving around the countryside, 313 00:12:01,419 --> 00:12:02,987 listening to Thorny talk about his dick. 314 00:12:02,989 --> 00:12:04,922 - I miss the old days. - RABBIT: That's bullshit, man. 315 00:12:04,924 --> 00:12:06,523 That Fred Savage thing was not our fault. 316 00:12:06,525 --> 00:12:08,325 Actors shouldn't do ride-alongs. 317 00:12:08,327 --> 00:12:09,926 Actors shouldn't even try to play cops. 318 00:12:09,928 --> 00:12:11,662 I mean, (SCOFFS) they never get it right. 319 00:12:11,664 --> 00:12:12,664 (LAUGHTER) 320 00:12:19,038 --> 00:12:21,205 - Hey, there. - How you doin'? 321 00:12:21,207 --> 00:12:23,540 Good. You boys here for business or pleasure? 322 00:12:23,542 --> 00:12:25,176 - Just going fishing. - Good timing. 323 00:12:25,178 --> 00:12:26,777 You'll be up to yer tits in the walleye. 324 00:12:26,779 --> 00:12:29,146 I caught one last week. Was seven kilograms. 325 00:12:29,148 --> 00:12:30,580 Is that big? 326 00:12:30,582 --> 00:12:32,863 Is that big? That's like nine decimeters from tip to tail. 327 00:12:33,785 --> 00:12:36,152 - You a jigger man? - What did you call me? 328 00:12:36,154 --> 00:12:37,321 Well, I like to use the jigger rod 329 00:12:37,323 --> 00:12:38,622 for when I'm catching the walleye. 330 00:12:38,624 --> 00:12:39,923 But of course when you're doing that 331 00:12:39,925 --> 00:12:41,224 you gotta run extra light. 332 00:12:41,226 --> 00:12:44,128 Unless you're someone like you there in the back. 333 00:12:44,130 --> 00:12:45,963 - What are you, a bodybuilder? - (CHUCKLES) No. 334 00:12:45,965 --> 00:12:47,630 What do you bench? Wait, don't tell me. 335 00:12:47,632 --> 00:12:49,365 I don't want you to embarrass me. 336 00:12:49,367 --> 00:12:52,569 - But I would like two tickets to your gun show. (LAUGHS) - FOSTER: Ah, okay. 337 00:12:52,571 --> 00:12:55,504 You guys are good to go. Sorry to hold ya up. 338 00:12:55,506 --> 00:12:58,377 - Let them go! - MAC: Thanks! Take her easy. 339 00:12:59,611 --> 00:13:01,744 (IN CANADIAN ACCENT) Typical Canadian hardass. 340 00:13:01,746 --> 00:13:04,047 (IN CANADIAN ACCENT) "Sorry. I'm really sorry. Sorry." 341 00:13:04,049 --> 00:13:05,748 (IN CANADIAN ACCENT) "Oh, so sorry." 342 00:13:05,750 --> 00:13:07,750 (IN CANADIAN ACCENT) Hey, fellas, any chance you can 343 00:13:07,752 --> 00:13:10,053 come over to the house later and play some Sorry? 344 00:13:10,055 --> 00:13:12,322 MAC: Sure. How about nine o'clock? 345 00:13:12,324 --> 00:13:14,191 THORNY: Ooh, nine o'clock doesn't work. 346 00:13:14,193 --> 00:13:15,593 - Sorry about that. - (LAUGHTER) 347 00:13:15,595 --> 00:13:17,327 MAC (IN NORMAL TONE): French ones are the worst. Ha! 348 00:13:17,329 --> 00:13:19,428 (IN FRENCH ACCENT) Would you like some ratatouille 349 00:13:19,430 --> 00:13:21,731 with your pain du chocolat? 350 00:13:21,733 --> 00:13:25,268 Oui, oui! I'm gonna get some jambon et fromage. 351 00:13:25,270 --> 00:13:26,705 (LAUGHTER) 352 00:13:28,274 --> 00:13:29,505 THORNY: This can't be it. 353 00:13:29,507 --> 00:13:31,374 MAC: Well, this is the address Cap sent me. 354 00:13:31,376 --> 00:13:34,109 Although he did just learn how to text. 355 00:13:34,111 --> 00:13:35,345 Now what would compel somebody 356 00:13:35,347 --> 00:13:36,714 to throw a tire up on the roof? 357 00:13:36,716 --> 00:13:39,215 FOSTER: What, you never played "Throw the Tire on the Roof"? 358 00:13:39,217 --> 00:13:40,383 MAC: (LAUGHS) No, is that the kind of shit 359 00:13:40,385 --> 00:13:41,551 you guys played in Rutland? 360 00:13:41,553 --> 00:13:43,923 FOSTER: Sure. Never got "tired" of that game. 361 00:13:49,861 --> 00:13:52,428 (FLIES BUZZING) 362 00:13:52,430 --> 00:13:54,797 FOSTER: Uh, we are in the wrong place. 363 00:13:54,799 --> 00:13:58,167 O'HAGAN: No. You're in the right place. 364 00:13:58,169 --> 00:13:59,302 MAC: What's the deal with the creepy, 365 00:13:59,304 --> 00:14:00,470 remote shithole, Cap? 366 00:14:00,472 --> 00:14:02,038 You gonna make us put the lotion in the basket? 367 00:14:02,040 --> 00:14:03,641 No, I've got a surprise for you. 368 00:14:03,643 --> 00:14:06,075 I didn't tell you up front 'cause you tend to be 369 00:14:06,077 --> 00:14:08,479 a bunch of wide-mouth bassholes. 370 00:14:08,481 --> 00:14:13,048 Well, then, why don't you let me reel in these fish, John? 371 00:14:13,050 --> 00:14:14,618 THORNY: Governor Jessman? 372 00:14:14,620 --> 00:14:16,119 Hey, I didn't see the motorcade. 373 00:14:16,121 --> 00:14:18,656 - We're keeping my visit quiet. - Mm. 374 00:14:18,658 --> 00:14:20,023 (CHUCKLES) Oh, Cappy, you dirty dog. 375 00:14:20,025 --> 00:14:21,691 Show some respect, Mac! 376 00:14:21,693 --> 00:14:22,659 Sorry. 377 00:14:22,661 --> 00:14:24,561 I'm here on official business. 378 00:14:24,563 --> 00:14:26,864 We've got an intriguing situation 379 00:14:26,866 --> 00:14:28,599 going on in these parts. 380 00:14:28,601 --> 00:14:31,369 JESSMAN: With all the heat on immigration these days, 381 00:14:31,371 --> 00:14:33,036 the U.S. has been going through 382 00:14:33,038 --> 00:14:34,470 a border reassessment. 383 00:14:34,472 --> 00:14:37,273 It turns out that some of the original stone markers 384 00:14:37,275 --> 00:14:39,442 that delineated America from Canada, 385 00:14:39,444 --> 00:14:40,813 weren't where we thought they'd be. 386 00:14:41,612 --> 00:14:43,714 Here is where the border was. 387 00:14:43,716 --> 00:14:47,784 But here is where we found the stone markers. 388 00:14:47,786 --> 00:14:50,521 So this town, St. Georges du Laurent, 389 00:14:50,523 --> 00:14:52,422 and the area surrounding it, 390 00:14:52,424 --> 00:14:54,490 are actually on American soil. 391 00:14:54,492 --> 00:14:55,926 So we're going to war? 392 00:14:55,928 --> 00:14:58,195 (IN CANADIAN ACCENT) Ah, gee, that'd be a quick one, eh? 393 00:14:58,197 --> 00:14:59,428 (ALL LAUGHS) 394 00:14:59,430 --> 00:15:00,898 No. After negotiations, 395 00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:02,832 they've agreed to turn the land over. 396 00:15:02,834 --> 00:15:03,801 Vermont's about to get 397 00:15:03,803 --> 00:15:05,636 - a little more head room. - RABBIT: Hm. 398 00:15:05,638 --> 00:15:07,305 So, it was up to me to find 399 00:15:07,307 --> 00:15:09,773 a temporary police force to help with the transition. 400 00:15:09,775 --> 00:15:13,009 A group of officers familiar with the border area, 401 00:15:13,011 --> 00:15:16,846 experienced in patrolling a stretch of highway. 402 00:15:16,848 --> 00:15:20,883 Guys who maybe caught a bad break the last time around? 403 00:15:20,885 --> 00:15:23,186 So, you fellas want a crack at your old jobs? 404 00:15:23,188 --> 00:15:25,455 (ALL CHEERING) 405 00:15:25,457 --> 00:15:28,925 Easy, you hooligans! I'm a senior citizen! 406 00:15:28,927 --> 00:15:31,461 And if this two-week assignment goes well, 407 00:15:31,463 --> 00:15:33,297 I might be able to make it permanent. 408 00:15:33,299 --> 00:15:35,700 Trust us. It'll go well. 409 00:15:35,702 --> 00:15:37,032 And who are you? 410 00:15:37,034 --> 00:15:38,869 Oh, I'm one of the cops. 411 00:15:38,871 --> 00:15:40,671 We picked him up outside of Home Depot. 412 00:15:40,673 --> 00:15:42,505 Fantastic. 413 00:15:42,507 --> 00:15:44,575 You'll be phasing out a Canadian Mountie unit. 414 00:15:44,577 --> 00:15:46,777 We lined up a meet and greet with them tomorrow. 415 00:15:46,779 --> 00:15:47,779 (CAR HORN HONKING) 416 00:15:49,180 --> 00:15:50,480 Oh, yeah! 417 00:15:50,482 --> 00:15:52,682 I wanted to make sure you had your full team back, 418 00:15:52,684 --> 00:15:54,618 so I tracked down your other guy too. 419 00:15:54,620 --> 00:15:55,985 (SIGHS) No fucking way. 420 00:15:55,987 --> 00:15:56,887 - (DOOR OPENS) - Oh, no. 421 00:15:56,889 --> 00:16:00,356 Sorry I'm late. Hit a moose doing 90. 422 00:16:00,358 --> 00:16:02,359 - Vaporized the beyotch! - (O'HAGAN SIGHS) 423 00:16:02,361 --> 00:16:03,826 FARVA: You know they have Eskimo hookers up here? 424 00:16:03,828 --> 00:16:05,930 When they have sex, they really get "Inuit". 425 00:16:05,932 --> 00:16:07,663 (LAUGHS) Pelé! 426 00:16:07,665 --> 00:16:08,532 (GROANS) 427 00:16:08,534 --> 00:16:09,736 MAC: God damn it. 428 00:16:10,502 --> 00:16:11,835 Farva, you fuck. 429 00:16:11,837 --> 00:16:13,003 Back in business! 430 00:16:13,005 --> 00:16:15,408 - (ROCK MUSIC PLAYING) - (TRIMMER WHIRRING) 431 00:16:36,093 --> 00:16:40,196 Bullshit! Who ordered these? I can't feel my tits! 432 00:16:40,198 --> 00:16:41,500 (ALL LAUGHS) 433 00:17:04,823 --> 00:17:05,888 Hey! 434 00:17:05,890 --> 00:17:07,323 Desk buddies, guy? 435 00:17:07,325 --> 00:17:09,560 Are you positive you want to quit your old job? 436 00:17:09,562 --> 00:17:11,528 I mean, Construction Supervisor. 437 00:17:11,530 --> 00:17:13,329 And give up the chance to crack some Canuck melons? 438 00:17:13,331 --> 00:17:15,134 I don't think so, bro-haim. 439 00:17:16,201 --> 00:17:17,801 ♪ Welcome to the Fart Zone ♪ 440 00:17:17,803 --> 00:17:19,668 - (BLOWS RASPBERRY) - FOSTER: Body armor, check. 441 00:17:19,670 --> 00:17:22,305 Tactical flashlights. Why not? 442 00:17:22,307 --> 00:17:24,440 Ooh, heat vision goggles. Check. 443 00:17:24,442 --> 00:17:25,743 Why would we need those? 444 00:17:25,745 --> 00:17:26,943 Uh, we're in Canada now, Rabbit. 445 00:17:26,945 --> 00:17:28,677 What if we have to find somebody in the snow? 446 00:17:28,679 --> 00:17:29,745 Uh, there is snow in Vermont. 447 00:17:29,747 --> 00:17:31,481 Okay, I'm the "order stuff" guy. 448 00:17:31,483 --> 00:17:32,851 You do your thing. All right? 449 00:17:33,252 --> 00:17:34,384 Okay. 450 00:17:34,386 --> 00:17:37,788 One yellow safety vest for Rabbit. 451 00:17:37,790 --> 00:17:40,991 Woo! A roving GPS triangulator. 452 00:17:40,993 --> 00:17:43,459 Triangulator? Get a load of James Bond over here. 453 00:17:43,461 --> 00:17:44,727 (LAUGHS SARCASTICALLY) 454 00:17:44,729 --> 00:17:47,164 Another yellow safety vest for Thorny. 455 00:17:47,166 --> 00:17:48,698 FARVA: Thorn, Thorn, Thorn, Thorn, Thorn, Thorn. 456 00:17:48,700 --> 00:17:52,369 Ram. Rod. Ram. Rod. Ramrod. You're out, he's in. 457 00:17:52,371 --> 00:17:54,370 Okay. 458 00:17:54,372 --> 00:17:56,706 O'HAGAN: Hey, place looks great! 459 00:17:56,708 --> 00:17:58,074 MAC: What have you been cleaning, Cap? 460 00:17:58,076 --> 00:18:00,377 I'll clean your clock if you don't watch out. 461 00:18:00,379 --> 00:18:01,880 Okay, let's get started. 462 00:18:03,048 --> 00:18:04,446 Don't push it, Mac. 463 00:18:04,448 --> 00:18:05,916 Get started doing some pullovers? 464 00:18:05,918 --> 00:18:07,250 No, we're not doing your pullovers. 465 00:18:07,252 --> 00:18:08,553 Everything will be by the book. 466 00:18:09,353 --> 00:18:10,655 Everything! 467 00:18:13,592 --> 00:18:15,724 Cap, you know how hard I worked on this thing? 468 00:18:15,726 --> 00:18:17,526 Big face, big mustache. 469 00:18:17,528 --> 00:18:19,329 I don't care how big your face is. Shave it! 470 00:18:19,331 --> 00:18:20,397 FARVA: Cap, Cap, Cap, Cap! 471 00:18:20,399 --> 00:18:21,464 I'm good, right? 472 00:18:21,466 --> 00:18:23,532 I got a tight mouth-muff. (EXHALES) 473 00:18:23,534 --> 00:18:26,269 - Talk about big faces. - That's face-ism, Cap. 474 00:18:26,271 --> 00:18:28,138 Not regulation! Shave it! 475 00:18:28,140 --> 00:18:31,041 Right! Let's go and see some Mounties. 476 00:18:31,043 --> 00:18:34,981 (CHUCKLES) Remember the three B's: Best Behavior, Boys. 477 00:18:38,817 --> 00:18:39,851 Hey. 478 00:18:41,152 --> 00:18:44,053 - How's it going? - Feels like 1983 in here. 479 00:18:44,055 --> 00:18:45,588 (IN CANADIAN ACCENT) Oh, there they are. 480 00:18:45,590 --> 00:18:47,590 I am Mayor Guy LeFranc. 481 00:18:47,592 --> 00:18:50,394 Mayor of Saint Georges du Laurent, Canada! 482 00:18:50,396 --> 00:18:52,663 Or, as it's about to be known: 483 00:18:52,665 --> 00:18:55,398 St. George of Lawrence, America. (CHUCKLES) 484 00:18:55,400 --> 00:18:58,435 I don't know. I'm not so good with American. Welcome. 485 00:18:58,437 --> 00:19:00,169 Uh, the Guy LeFranc? 486 00:19:00,171 --> 00:19:02,438 From the Montreal Canadiens Minor League system? 487 00:19:02,440 --> 00:19:04,875 The leading scorer of the Halifax Bear Eaters? 488 00:19:04,877 --> 00:19:06,743 Eighth most points in CHL history. 489 00:19:06,745 --> 00:19:09,111 Yeah, I know. Two points behind Shotti Fitznugly. 490 00:19:09,113 --> 00:19:10,179 Look at this guy! 491 00:19:10,181 --> 00:19:11,415 I love hockey. 492 00:19:11,417 --> 00:19:12,782 Your nickname, um, 493 00:19:12,784 --> 00:19:14,517 don't tell me, it was, uh, "The Explosion". 494 00:19:14,519 --> 00:19:16,387 "The Halifax Explosion." 495 00:19:16,389 --> 00:19:18,420 Named after the single greatest 496 00:19:18,422 --> 00:19:20,890 man-made explosion before Hiroshima. 497 00:19:20,892 --> 00:19:22,591 It was 1917, 498 00:19:22,593 --> 00:19:24,026 ship laden with dynamite 499 00:19:24,028 --> 00:19:26,429 crashed into another ship in Halifax Harbor. 500 00:19:26,431 --> 00:19:27,997 Tremendous explosion and loss of life. 501 00:19:27,999 --> 00:19:29,733 Burned people's eyes out with the blast. 502 00:19:29,735 --> 00:19:31,401 Many were blinded by the light. 503 00:19:31,403 --> 00:19:32,534 Like the song says. 504 00:19:32,536 --> 00:19:35,138 And a First Nations tribe was lost. 505 00:19:35,140 --> 00:19:36,639 Probably would've happened to them anyway, 506 00:19:36,641 --> 00:19:38,207 - but it kind of moved up the timetable, eh? - (ALL AGREES) 507 00:19:38,209 --> 00:19:42,178 So, I am the second biggest explosion from Halifax. 508 00:19:42,180 --> 00:19:43,312 But enough about me. 509 00:19:43,314 --> 00:19:44,747 Meet the Mounties. Guys! 510 00:19:44,749 --> 00:19:46,949 Guys, come on over here. 511 00:19:46,951 --> 00:19:50,119 This here is Sergeant Major Roger Archambault. 512 00:19:50,121 --> 00:19:53,823 This is Staff Sergeant Major Henri Podein, 513 00:19:53,825 --> 00:19:56,392 and Sergeant Christophe Bellefuille. 514 00:19:56,394 --> 00:19:57,694 Total gobbledygook. 515 00:19:57,696 --> 00:20:00,597 I'm John O'Hagan. This is Rod Farva, 516 00:20:00,599 --> 00:20:03,567 Robbie Roto, Carl Foster, MacIntyre Womack 517 00:20:03,569 --> 00:20:05,369 and Arcot Ramathorn. 518 00:20:05,371 --> 00:20:07,338 (SPEAKS FRENCH) 519 00:20:07,340 --> 00:20:08,804 (MOUNTIES LAUGH) 520 00:20:08,806 --> 00:20:10,205 (IN ENGLISH) I'll let you guys chew the cud. 521 00:20:10,207 --> 00:20:11,707 Why don't we go fuck off to the other room here? 522 00:20:11,709 --> 00:20:14,011 - Yeah, sure. - (DOOR OPENS) 523 00:20:14,013 --> 00:20:15,078 (DOOR CLOSES) 524 00:20:15,080 --> 00:20:18,384 I'm gonna get a Schlitz! That's American for beer. 525 00:20:21,620 --> 00:20:23,719 So, you do guys ride horses or... 526 00:20:23,721 --> 00:20:25,288 (IN CANADIAN ACCENT) Yeah, this isn't 1957. 527 00:20:25,290 --> 00:20:26,823 We drive Crown Victorias. 528 00:20:26,825 --> 00:20:28,657 Hey, us too. You get a little soup in them, 529 00:20:28,659 --> 00:20:31,026 they can really rip your knob off. Am I right? 530 00:20:31,028 --> 00:20:32,028 (SPITS) 531 00:20:32,030 --> 00:20:34,130 (IN FRENCH ACCENT) We hear about you guy, heh? 532 00:20:34,132 --> 00:20:37,433 Because first, you get your highway station shut down. 533 00:20:37,435 --> 00:20:39,101 And then, you get kick out 534 00:20:39,103 --> 00:20:41,873 from your second job because of this, uh, 535 00:20:42,608 --> 00:20:44,407 Fred Savage thing. 536 00:20:44,409 --> 00:20:45,676 (IN FRENCH ACCENT) "Savage." 537 00:20:45,678 --> 00:20:47,310 (IN NORMAL TONE) Makes it sound intriguing, at least. 538 00:20:47,312 --> 00:20:49,279 BELLEFUILLE: (IN CANADIAN ACCENT) So, what are you going to do here? 539 00:20:49,281 --> 00:20:50,613 Go for the hat trick? 540 00:20:50,615 --> 00:20:51,947 (MOUNTIES LAUGHING) 541 00:20:51,949 --> 00:20:53,715 Well, we're actually hoping to hold on to these jobs. 542 00:20:53,717 --> 00:20:54,818 (TROOPERS CHUCKLE) 543 00:20:54,820 --> 00:20:56,719 What are you guys doing after the turnover? 544 00:20:56,721 --> 00:20:59,590 Oh, they're transferring us up to Labrador City. 545 00:20:59,592 --> 00:21:00,657 - Oh! - Cool. 546 00:21:00,659 --> 00:21:01,992 BELLEFUILLE: It's cool, all right. 547 00:21:01,994 --> 00:21:05,494 Average winter temperature is minus 18 degrees Celsius! 548 00:21:05,496 --> 00:21:07,129 Yeah, all you have to do to convert 549 00:21:07,131 --> 00:21:10,567 is times two, add 32 and join the rest of the human race. 550 00:21:10,569 --> 00:21:11,667 Hey, Rookie, 551 00:21:11,669 --> 00:21:13,035 they got non-alcoholic Molsons over here. 552 00:21:13,037 --> 00:21:15,370 Want me to get you a half carafe? (LAUGHS) 553 00:21:15,372 --> 00:21:18,641 Oh, we got a rookie there? They shave your nuts yet? 554 00:21:18,643 --> 00:21:20,377 Canadian tradition says you got to shave 555 00:21:20,379 --> 00:21:22,544 the rook's nuts, otherwise it's bad luck. 556 00:21:22,546 --> 00:21:24,080 - You don't say? - Bad luck? 557 00:21:24,082 --> 00:21:25,715 I'm actually not a rookie... 558 00:21:25,717 --> 00:21:27,184 Which one of you guys has least seniority? 559 00:21:27,186 --> 00:21:29,584 - (TROOPERS MUMBLE) - I mean, technically I... 560 00:21:29,586 --> 00:21:30,821 (CHUCKLES) Shave this guy ball! 561 00:21:30,823 --> 00:21:32,655 Come on, shave both of his ball. 562 00:21:32,657 --> 00:21:33,823 (MOUNTIES COAXING) 563 00:21:33,825 --> 00:21:36,260 - Shave your ball, your dick. - (ALL LAUGHING) 564 00:21:36,262 --> 00:21:38,860 (IN FRENCH ACCENT) Hello, hello! Welcome to Canada. 565 00:21:38,862 --> 00:21:40,664 I'm Genevieve Aubois, 566 00:21:40,666 --> 00:21:43,166 Cultural Attaché of Saint Georges du Laurent. 567 00:21:43,168 --> 00:21:45,636 I will see that things go smoothly 568 00:21:45,638 --> 00:21:47,036 in the next few weeks. 569 00:21:47,038 --> 00:21:49,371 And please, if you have any questions, 570 00:21:49,373 --> 00:21:51,043 don't hesitate to ask. 571 00:21:52,477 --> 00:21:53,478 (SMACKS LIPS) 572 00:21:54,978 --> 00:21:57,046 Keep heading north, big fella. 573 00:21:57,048 --> 00:21:59,649 You don't look at the mantel when you're poking the fire, you know what I'm saying? 574 00:21:59,651 --> 00:22:01,484 - Right, guys? You know what I'm saying, right? - Jesus, Farva. 575 00:22:01,486 --> 00:22:02,519 (FARVA LAUGHS) 576 00:22:02,521 --> 00:22:03,753 GENEVIEVE: Okay. 577 00:22:03,755 --> 00:22:06,423 Well, they are waiting for us in the other room. 578 00:22:06,425 --> 00:22:08,792 So, please, suivez-moi. 579 00:22:08,794 --> 00:22:10,463 Who is waiting where? 580 00:22:12,630 --> 00:22:13,996 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 581 00:22:13,998 --> 00:22:16,334 (MARCHING DRUMS PLAYING) 582 00:22:22,040 --> 00:22:24,810 Boy, I didn't know the whole town was gonna be here. 583 00:22:29,814 --> 00:22:31,281 (MIC FEEDBACK) 584 00:22:31,283 --> 00:22:32,784 (SPEAKING FRENCH) 585 00:22:38,923 --> 00:22:40,157 - (CHUCKLES) - Oh. 586 00:22:40,159 --> 00:22:41,124 (ALL LAUGHING) 587 00:22:41,126 --> 00:22:42,592 It's about my mustache, right? 588 00:22:42,594 --> 00:22:43,894 They're laughing at my mustache? 589 00:22:43,896 --> 00:22:46,795 Please, let's give a big Canadian welcome 590 00:22:46,797 --> 00:22:49,599 to the Vermont Highway Patrol. 591 00:22:49,601 --> 00:22:51,900 (CROWD BOOING) 592 00:22:51,902 --> 00:22:53,235 GUY: Hey, hey, everyone! 593 00:22:53,237 --> 00:22:54,504 Come on, guys. They've come up here 594 00:22:54,506 --> 00:22:55,571 to tell us how great it's gonna be 595 00:22:55,573 --> 00:22:56,872 for all of us to become Americans. 596 00:22:56,874 --> 00:22:59,010 So, let them speak. Captain? 597 00:22:59,745 --> 00:23:01,744 Uh... (CLEARS THROAT) 598 00:23:01,746 --> 00:23:04,214 - Bonsoir. - (MIC FEEDBACK) 599 00:23:04,216 --> 00:23:07,951 You know, this reminds me of the story of the rabbi, 600 00:23:07,953 --> 00:23:11,053 the priest, and the Hindu in a canoe. 601 00:23:11,055 --> 00:23:12,621 WOMAN: Go blow yourself! 602 00:23:12,623 --> 00:23:13,889 (LAUGHTER) 603 00:23:13,891 --> 00:23:15,724 I'm Captain John O'Hagan. I... 604 00:23:15,726 --> 00:23:18,094 Yeah, eat it, you old donkey! 605 00:23:18,096 --> 00:23:19,061 (LAUGHTER) 606 00:23:19,063 --> 00:23:21,464 Hey, easy. Hey, look, look. 607 00:23:21,466 --> 00:23:23,699 Technically, we're all Americans, right? 608 00:23:23,701 --> 00:23:25,267 North Americans. 609 00:23:25,269 --> 00:23:27,804 Very little is gonna change around here. 610 00:23:27,806 --> 00:23:29,038 Oh, yeah, right! You're probably gonna tell us 611 00:23:29,040 --> 00:23:30,473 we can't listen to Rush anymore! 612 00:23:30,475 --> 00:23:31,907 Or the Barenaked Ladies! 613 00:23:31,909 --> 00:23:34,410 - (ANGRY CHATTER) - Hey. Hey. Hey! 614 00:23:34,412 --> 00:23:35,712 People, people. 615 00:23:35,714 --> 00:23:37,647 I love Rush and the Barenaked Ladies. 616 00:23:37,649 --> 00:23:38,848 You should listen to both. 617 00:23:38,850 --> 00:23:40,817 So, you are telling us who to listen to! 618 00:23:40,819 --> 00:23:41,951 No, no. I'm just... 619 00:23:41,953 --> 00:23:43,019 And then that one's gonna tell us 620 00:23:43,021 --> 00:23:44,454 we have to start eating tortillas! 621 00:23:44,456 --> 00:23:46,825 - FOSTER: It's a common mistake. - MAN #1: Bullshit! 622 00:23:47,426 --> 00:23:48,692 Hey! Listen up. 623 00:23:48,694 --> 00:23:50,793 This is America now. Like it or lump it! 624 00:23:50,795 --> 00:23:52,262 Repeat after me: 625 00:23:52,264 --> 00:23:55,631 I pledge of allegiance to the flag 626 00:23:55,633 --> 00:23:58,169 of the United States of America. 627 00:23:58,704 --> 00:23:59,969 Learn the words! 628 00:23:59,971 --> 00:24:01,503 Learn the words! 629 00:24:01,505 --> 00:24:02,507 Fuck you! 630 00:24:03,508 --> 00:24:05,410 - (GROANS) - (CROWD CLAMORING) 631 00:24:07,012 --> 00:24:09,081 (INDISTINCT SHOUTING) 632 00:24:10,114 --> 00:24:11,880 MAN #2: You don't even know how to play hockey! 633 00:24:11,882 --> 00:24:14,417 (CLAMORING CONTINUES) 634 00:24:14,419 --> 00:24:16,852 I didn't think they'd see us as an occupying force. 635 00:24:16,854 --> 00:24:18,420 Oh, my God! Your eye. 636 00:24:18,422 --> 00:24:19,789 That might leave a scar. 637 00:24:19,791 --> 00:24:20,924 I was looking too pretty anyway. 638 00:24:20,926 --> 00:24:22,090 (CHUCKLES) 639 00:24:22,092 --> 00:24:23,859 I can sew you up at my car. 640 00:24:23,861 --> 00:24:25,026 You're a doctor? 641 00:24:25,028 --> 00:24:27,128 No, no. I coach the girls' hockey team, 642 00:24:27,130 --> 00:24:29,301 so I know my way around a gash. 643 00:24:29,935 --> 00:24:31,067 Are you making a... 644 00:24:31,069 --> 00:24:34,771 Oui . A double entendre for la vagine. 645 00:24:34,773 --> 00:24:36,372 (INDISTINCT SHOUTING) 646 00:24:36,374 --> 00:24:38,474 Let's go, quickly! 647 00:24:38,476 --> 00:24:40,810 THORNY: I thought Canadians are supposed to be harmless. 648 00:24:40,812 --> 00:24:42,579 Oh, come on. Cut them some slack. 649 00:24:42,581 --> 00:24:44,446 They're upset about losing their identities. 650 00:24:44,448 --> 00:24:47,449 They called you an old donkey. Doesn't that piss you off? 651 00:24:47,451 --> 00:24:48,818 Well, I don't love it. 652 00:24:48,820 --> 00:24:51,186 Actually, I didn't sleep at all last night. 653 00:24:51,188 --> 00:24:52,488 But we got a job to do. 654 00:24:52,490 --> 00:24:54,890 - Rabbit, how's your head? - It's okay. 655 00:24:54,892 --> 00:24:59,263 That, uh... Genevieve, she, uh, patched me up. 656 00:24:59,265 --> 00:25:01,363 (ALL EXCLAIMING) 657 00:25:01,365 --> 00:25:02,331 Oh, please! 658 00:25:02,333 --> 00:25:04,967 Frenchy had her eyes on my thighs all night long. 659 00:25:04,969 --> 00:25:06,101 - Yeah. - Did she, now? 660 00:25:06,103 --> 00:25:07,337 FARVA: Oh, yeah? Keep laughing. 661 00:25:07,339 --> 00:25:09,638 I bet you a buck I bang the crêpe out of her first. 662 00:25:09,640 --> 00:25:10,807 - (BLOWS RASPBERRY) - Okay. 663 00:25:10,809 --> 00:25:12,042 Put your money where your mouth's been. 664 00:25:12,044 --> 00:25:14,778 Fuck the buck. Loser sits on a cactus. 665 00:25:14,780 --> 00:25:16,978 No, loser gets a perm. 666 00:25:16,980 --> 00:25:19,916 No, loser cuts his pinky-toe off with a shovel. 667 00:25:19,918 --> 00:25:21,517 Take that bet. 668 00:25:21,519 --> 00:25:23,520 - I suggest you take the bet, Rabbit. Really, honestly. - Jump on it. 669 00:25:23,522 --> 00:25:24,721 Please shut up, Farva. 670 00:25:24,723 --> 00:25:26,188 Okay. We have a deal. 671 00:25:26,190 --> 00:25:27,657 You heard it, right? We have a deal. 672 00:25:27,659 --> 00:25:30,327 Oh, so, this is where they keep the illegal aliens, huh? 673 00:25:30,329 --> 00:25:32,328 - (BELLEFUILLE CHUCKLES) - Ah, welcome, Officers! 674 00:25:32,330 --> 00:25:33,964 Welcome to the guys who stood around 675 00:25:33,966 --> 00:25:35,630 while people threw hockey pucks at us? 676 00:25:35,632 --> 00:25:36,765 You gonna come up here talking 677 00:25:36,767 --> 00:25:38,334 all that "Make America Great" crap, 678 00:25:38,336 --> 00:25:41,170 you're bound to catch a face full of Canadian tomato. 679 00:25:41,172 --> 00:25:42,539 O'HAGAN: Okay, okay. Listen up. 680 00:25:42,541 --> 00:25:44,507 Two of you are gonna ride with the Mounties. 681 00:25:44,509 --> 00:25:46,341 They'll show you where the bodies are buried. 682 00:25:46,343 --> 00:25:48,344 - BOTH: Not it. - Actually, it is you two. 683 00:25:48,346 --> 00:25:49,411 (CHUCKLES) 684 00:25:49,413 --> 00:25:51,414 It's not our idea of a good time either, fellas. 685 00:25:51,416 --> 00:25:53,953 Personally, I'd rather fuck a moose. 686 00:25:54,852 --> 00:25:56,552 You would need a ladder to do that. 687 00:25:56,554 --> 00:25:59,955 Obviously, I would need a ladder to fuck a moose. 688 00:25:59,957 --> 00:26:02,926 But I would find one, and I would fuck that moose. 689 00:26:02,928 --> 00:26:04,093 O'HAGAN: Okay! 690 00:26:04,095 --> 00:26:06,596 Thorny, Rabbit, I got a highway job for you. 691 00:26:06,598 --> 00:26:07,599 Let's do it! 692 00:26:11,969 --> 00:26:13,668 FARVA: Hey, Cap? Cap? 693 00:26:13,670 --> 00:26:14,971 Whose car do I ride in? 694 00:26:14,973 --> 00:26:17,040 Why don't you stay here with me? 695 00:26:17,042 --> 00:26:18,640 Sit over here. 696 00:26:18,642 --> 00:26:20,011 That's the radio, though. 697 00:26:20,411 --> 00:26:21,378 Great idea! 698 00:26:21,380 --> 00:26:24,813 That way, if a call comes in, you can answer it. 699 00:26:24,815 --> 00:26:26,081 Huh? 700 00:26:26,083 --> 00:26:27,484 (O'HAGAN VOCALIZING) 701 00:26:27,486 --> 00:26:30,052 Okay, just today, though, okay? 702 00:26:30,054 --> 00:26:32,358 Everyone takes a turn. It's a new station. 703 00:26:33,591 --> 00:26:34,657 (SIGHS) 704 00:26:34,659 --> 00:26:35,727 Fuckin' radio. 705 00:26:38,196 --> 00:26:39,598 What the fuck is this shit? 706 00:26:41,132 --> 00:26:42,732 I mean, it's not gonna kill him, is it? 707 00:26:42,734 --> 00:26:45,070 I don't know. Do you want it to kill him? 708 00:26:46,705 --> 00:26:47,803 BELLEFUILLE: Allons-y! 709 00:26:47,805 --> 00:26:49,406 - (HORN HONKS) - (SHOUTS IN FRENCH) 710 00:26:49,408 --> 00:26:50,674 Just a minute! 711 00:26:50,676 --> 00:26:52,042 Just a, uh... 712 00:26:52,044 --> 00:26:53,976 What's Canadian for "minute"? 713 00:26:53,978 --> 00:26:55,613 (MUMBLES MOCKINGLY) 714 00:26:58,784 --> 00:26:59,983 Ah. 715 00:26:59,985 --> 00:27:01,520 There they are. Okay. 716 00:27:03,221 --> 00:27:04,255 Hm. 717 00:27:05,823 --> 00:27:07,191 (GULPING) 718 00:27:10,161 --> 00:27:12,861 Are you swallowing M&M's whole? 719 00:27:12,863 --> 00:27:15,500 Yeah. The green ones make me horny. 720 00:27:17,735 --> 00:27:19,301 Why don't you chew them first? 721 00:27:19,303 --> 00:27:22,073 (SCOFFS) They all go to the same place, right? 722 00:27:25,409 --> 00:27:27,342 (SIGHS) 723 00:27:27,344 --> 00:27:29,011 FOSTER: (ON RADIO) Hey, Farva, can I get a radio check? 724 00:27:29,013 --> 00:27:30,713 - (CRACKLING) - (YELPS) 725 00:27:30,715 --> 00:27:31,717 (GROANS) 726 00:27:33,784 --> 00:27:35,819 (BOTH LAUGHING) 727 00:27:35,821 --> 00:27:37,454 Why did you shock your buddy, buddy? 728 00:27:37,456 --> 00:27:38,788 (LAUGHING) 729 00:27:38,790 --> 00:27:42,891 You know, every job has that one guy that you love to hate. 730 00:27:42,893 --> 00:27:44,593 Yeah, obnoxious. Oafish. 731 00:27:44,595 --> 00:27:47,097 Oh, yeah, you mean like your typical American? 732 00:27:47,099 --> 00:27:48,467 (BOTH CHUCKLES) 733 00:27:51,268 --> 00:27:52,703 Still waiting on that radio check. 734 00:27:57,042 --> 00:27:58,776 - (CRACKLING) - (SCREAMS) 735 00:28:00,211 --> 00:28:01,679 FARVA: Fuckin' shit! 736 00:28:02,412 --> 00:28:03,980 This is an awesome assignment. 737 00:28:03,982 --> 00:28:06,582 Oh, come on, it's great. Outside. On duty. 738 00:28:06,584 --> 00:28:10,352 Hey, what's 80 kilometers per hour in English? 739 00:28:10,354 --> 00:28:14,057 I guess 49.7097 miles per hour. 740 00:28:14,059 --> 00:28:16,024 Uh, I don't think we have any decimals. 741 00:28:16,026 --> 00:28:18,195 - Do you have a Sharpie? - Uh, no. 742 00:28:18,197 --> 00:28:20,964 FARVA: Unit 23. Come in, 23. Unit 23. Come in, 23. 743 00:28:20,966 --> 00:28:23,965 Radio, until the turnover, we have to keep things metric. 744 00:28:23,967 --> 00:28:28,603 So we are now Unit 37.015. Try again. 745 00:28:28,605 --> 00:28:29,539 Whatever. 746 00:28:29,541 --> 00:28:33,042 I got a call out on Rue de Autoroute 77 747 00:28:33,044 --> 00:28:34,776 or some Frère Jacques bullshit. 748 00:28:34,778 --> 00:28:37,179 There's a gaggle of dead Canadian Geese on the road. 749 00:28:37,181 --> 00:28:39,282 Yeah, up here, they just call them geese, Radio. 750 00:28:39,284 --> 00:28:41,384 Yeah, well, in two weeks, I call them American Geese. 751 00:28:41,386 --> 00:28:43,185 Honk, honk. Go clean them off. 752 00:28:43,187 --> 00:28:46,891 That's a big 16.09-6436, good buddy. 753 00:28:49,328 --> 00:28:51,359 Ah, ya, there's the Pancake Shed. 754 00:28:51,361 --> 00:28:53,329 And that's the Flapjack's. 755 00:28:53,331 --> 00:28:54,496 Oh, there on the right, 756 00:28:54,498 --> 00:28:56,599 that's Gigi's Bait, Tackle and Pancakes. 757 00:28:56,601 --> 00:28:59,202 - But they're really known more for their waffles. - Yeah, they are. 758 00:28:59,204 --> 00:29:01,503 Sounds like the Queen must really love pancakes. 759 00:29:01,505 --> 00:29:03,039 What's that supposed to mean? 760 00:29:03,041 --> 00:29:05,375 FOSTER: Aren't you guys still ruled by the Queen of England? 761 00:29:05,377 --> 00:29:06,442 I mean, she's all over your money. 762 00:29:06,444 --> 00:29:07,510 BELLEFUILLE: I'll have you know that 763 00:29:07,512 --> 00:29:10,312 we achieved our independence in 1982. 764 00:29:10,314 --> 00:29:11,580 - Ooh! - Oh! 765 00:29:11,582 --> 00:29:13,215 - MAC: 1982. - (FOSTER CHUCKLES) 766 00:29:13,217 --> 00:29:15,685 - Did Wham! perform at the ceremony? - (LAUGHS) 767 00:29:15,687 --> 00:29:17,620 Maybe if we had our independence sooner, 768 00:29:17,622 --> 00:29:19,588 we'd have no gun control, not believe in evolution 769 00:29:19,590 --> 00:29:22,694 and all be morbidly obese without healthcare. 770 00:29:24,362 --> 00:29:26,462 BELLEFUILLE: Why don't you pull in right up here? 771 00:29:26,464 --> 00:29:28,867 Time for you to meet the local business owners. 772 00:29:47,619 --> 00:29:48,917 Escorts? 773 00:29:48,919 --> 00:29:50,253 BELLEFUILLE: Here we are, boys. 774 00:29:50,255 --> 00:29:52,021 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 775 00:29:52,023 --> 00:29:53,225 (GREETS IN FRENCH) 776 00:29:56,627 --> 00:29:58,494 Are we here to bust up a cat-house? 777 00:29:58,496 --> 00:30:00,830 PODEIN: You can't arrest people for having boners. 778 00:30:00,832 --> 00:30:02,264 It's legal up here, Yank. 779 00:30:02,266 --> 00:30:04,466 A hockey-themed, dual-sex bordello. 780 00:30:04,468 --> 00:30:06,101 Do we have that in the U.S.? 781 00:30:06,103 --> 00:30:07,703 I don't know, but put me in, Coach. 782 00:30:07,705 --> 00:30:09,538 Oh, oh! Look who it is! It's the fuzz. 783 00:30:09,540 --> 00:30:11,273 The Mayor hangs out in a bordello? 784 00:30:11,275 --> 00:30:13,908 No, the Mayor own the bordello. 785 00:30:13,910 --> 00:30:14,843 Here you go, boys. 786 00:30:14,845 --> 00:30:16,911 How about a beer and a tug? On the house. 787 00:30:16,913 --> 00:30:18,648 - Hey! - Oh, uh... 788 00:30:18,650 --> 00:30:19,616 Uh, maybe later. 789 00:30:19,618 --> 00:30:22,385 Oh, I understand. Scram, girls. 790 00:30:22,387 --> 00:30:24,986 - How's it going, eh? - Yeah, no, no. Maybe later. 791 00:30:24,988 --> 00:30:26,188 You guys! 792 00:30:26,190 --> 00:30:27,590 You don't like women, you don't like men. 793 00:30:27,592 --> 00:30:29,559 I mean, what should I get, a river beaver to pleasure you? 794 00:30:29,561 --> 00:30:32,361 It's a joke. Their teeth are so sharp, it would be horrible. 795 00:30:32,363 --> 00:30:33,597 How can I help you fellas? 796 00:30:33,599 --> 00:30:35,665 Oh, the Yanks want to talk about their U.S. laws. 797 00:30:35,667 --> 00:30:37,899 You know, like serving weaker beer 798 00:30:37,901 --> 00:30:39,836 and shutting down brothels. 799 00:30:39,838 --> 00:30:41,270 Shutting down brothels? 800 00:30:41,272 --> 00:30:42,405 Who put you up to this? 801 00:30:42,407 --> 00:30:44,572 Was it Jean-Paul down at Chez Poontang? 802 00:30:44,574 --> 00:30:46,109 Huh? You guys pulling my chain? 803 00:30:46,111 --> 00:30:47,176 Look, I don't think this is anything 804 00:30:47,178 --> 00:30:48,610 we need to get too hung up on right now. 805 00:30:48,612 --> 00:30:49,978 I can't believe down in the States, 806 00:30:49,980 --> 00:30:51,880 it's illegal to have a beer and enjoy tits and a dick. 807 00:30:51,882 --> 00:30:54,250 I mean, beep beep! 808 00:30:54,252 --> 00:30:55,952 - There's no harm there. - Oh. Uh... 809 00:30:55,954 --> 00:30:57,954 (IMITATING PUNCHING BAG) 810 00:30:57,956 --> 00:30:59,722 - Good workout, eh? - Wow. 811 00:30:59,724 --> 00:31:02,524 Honestly, Guy, we're not here to lay down any laws. 812 00:31:02,526 --> 00:31:04,693 We're very sorry if there's been a misunderstanding. 813 00:31:04,695 --> 00:31:07,562 - "We're sahrry?" "Sahrry." - (LAUGHTER) 814 00:31:07,564 --> 00:31:09,231 (CROWD MIMICS MAC MOCKINGLY) 815 00:31:09,233 --> 00:31:11,303 I'm sorry, but that sounds stupid. 816 00:31:12,370 --> 00:31:14,436 - So sahrry. - Sahrry. 817 00:31:14,438 --> 00:31:16,339 It's funny. I know. 818 00:31:16,341 --> 00:31:19,208 And what exactly is your beef with our beer? 819 00:31:19,210 --> 00:31:20,708 Oh, I don't have any problem with the beer. 820 00:31:20,710 --> 00:31:22,611 I mean, I think the limit in the U.S. is what, nine percent? 821 00:31:22,613 --> 00:31:25,113 Nine percent? How are you supposed to get drunk? 822 00:31:25,115 --> 00:31:26,482 I mean, you know, 823 00:31:26,484 --> 00:31:28,083 I think the idea is you drink more of the weaker stuff. 824 00:31:28,085 --> 00:31:29,252 I bet it is. 825 00:31:29,254 --> 00:31:30,753 You Americans drinking and eating everything. 826 00:31:30,755 --> 00:31:33,255 - Oh, no, you shouldn't. - (BLOWS RASPBERRY) So fat. 827 00:31:33,257 --> 00:31:34,823 How about a little help over here, huh? 828 00:31:34,825 --> 00:31:37,060 Yeah, I don't think we have jurisdiction here anymore, buddy. 829 00:31:37,062 --> 00:31:38,528 Okay, all right. 830 00:31:38,530 --> 00:31:40,329 It's not like we're here to "screw you" out of your rights. 831 00:31:40,331 --> 00:31:41,898 Darn tootin' you're not. 832 00:31:41,900 --> 00:31:42,999 Okay, look, relax. 833 00:31:43,001 --> 00:31:44,266 Go away, you American pigs! 834 00:31:44,268 --> 00:31:46,503 (CROWD SHOUTING ANGRILY) 835 00:31:46,505 --> 00:31:48,003 - WOMAN: Go home! - Oh! 836 00:31:48,005 --> 00:31:49,205 Take it easy. 837 00:31:49,207 --> 00:31:50,876 Fight, fight, fight, fight! 838 00:31:52,377 --> 00:31:53,976 Sorry about that. It was an accident. 839 00:31:53,978 --> 00:31:56,111 (GRUNTING) 840 00:31:56,113 --> 00:31:58,316 ♪ Round and round ♪ 841 00:31:59,516 --> 00:32:00,718 MAN: Get out of here! 842 00:32:02,320 --> 00:32:04,356 - (GRUNTING) - (CROWD EXCLAIMING) 843 00:32:05,189 --> 00:32:06,390 Get the fuck off me. 844 00:32:07,691 --> 00:32:09,593 Fuck you, motherfuckers. Fuck you! 845 00:32:10,961 --> 00:32:12,463 (CROWD CHEERING) 846 00:32:13,631 --> 00:32:15,997 - DRIVER: Vermont sucks, eh! - RABBIT: Thank you. 847 00:32:15,999 --> 00:32:17,367 See you later, sunshine! 848 00:32:18,399 --> 00:32:20,035 - BOTH: Stupid Americans! - RABBIT: Cheerio! 849 00:32:20,037 --> 00:32:23,004 Okay, this job isn't as fun as I thought it was. 850 00:32:23,006 --> 00:32:24,106 Arrogant American! 851 00:32:24,108 --> 00:32:26,375 The whole world's metric. What's your problem, eh? 852 00:32:26,377 --> 00:32:27,676 Just doing our job, sir. 853 00:32:27,678 --> 00:32:29,445 You're 185 centimeters tall, 854 00:32:29,447 --> 00:32:31,582 you weigh 92 kilogram. Get used to it! 855 00:32:32,617 --> 00:32:33,582 Okay. 856 00:32:33,584 --> 00:32:36,418 Your authority don't mean cheese up here. 857 00:32:36,420 --> 00:32:38,888 I can't tell if he's calling me skinny or fat. 858 00:32:38,890 --> 00:32:40,122 FOSTER: (ON RADIO) Officers requesting assistance 859 00:32:40,124 --> 00:32:42,091 at the L'Explosion Bordello on Route Four. 860 00:32:42,093 --> 00:32:44,292 We are under assault by hookers. 861 00:32:44,294 --> 00:32:45,593 Lots of them. Male and female. 862 00:32:45,595 --> 00:32:47,530 Copy, 91. We'll be right there. 863 00:32:47,532 --> 00:32:49,532 Just as soon as we finish taking selfies 864 00:32:49,534 --> 00:32:51,699 with the Victoria's Secret Blow Job Team. 865 00:32:51,701 --> 00:32:54,204 I'm not kidding, Thorny! There's too many of them. 866 00:32:54,206 --> 00:32:55,603 Will you get your dick out of my face! 867 00:32:55,605 --> 00:32:57,372 I just... I got glitter! 868 00:32:57,374 --> 00:32:59,175 Glittering and... Glittering and... 869 00:32:59,177 --> 00:33:01,342 I love it. It's like we never left. 870 00:33:01,344 --> 00:33:03,378 (TYRES SCREECHING) 871 00:33:03,380 --> 00:33:06,448 What the hell? Remote driver? 872 00:33:06,450 --> 00:33:07,651 Ghost car? 873 00:33:16,393 --> 00:33:18,360 We drilled that sign! 874 00:33:18,362 --> 00:33:19,563 They're kids. 875 00:33:20,165 --> 00:33:21,363 Give me those keys. 876 00:33:21,365 --> 00:33:23,499 Ow! No biting, you little shitsky! 877 00:33:23,501 --> 00:33:24,567 What's your name, kid? 878 00:33:24,569 --> 00:33:25,968 Stranger danger! Stranger danger! 879 00:33:25,970 --> 00:33:27,169 Where did you get the car? 880 00:33:27,171 --> 00:33:28,739 - Suck it, cop! - (GROANING) 881 00:33:32,476 --> 00:33:34,076 Holy Christmas. 882 00:33:34,078 --> 00:33:35,544 Oh, my God. 883 00:33:35,546 --> 00:33:37,379 They're all hopped up on goofballs. 884 00:33:37,381 --> 00:33:39,583 You can't catch me! (YELLING) 885 00:33:40,384 --> 00:33:42,150 I'm gonna get my bean bag gun! 886 00:33:42,152 --> 00:33:43,218 Show me where you got these 887 00:33:43,220 --> 00:33:44,387 and I'll let you play with my Taser. 888 00:33:44,389 --> 00:33:45,623 Ooh! Yeah, yeah, yeah! 889 00:33:48,359 --> 00:33:49,558 THORNY: We gotta be careful. 890 00:33:49,560 --> 00:33:52,197 This is the kind of image that could go viral. 891 00:33:53,296 --> 00:33:54,463 There! 892 00:33:54,465 --> 00:33:56,435 (KIDS GRUNTING) 893 00:33:58,503 --> 00:34:00,472 All right. Whoa, whoa, whoa, boys. 894 00:34:01,238 --> 00:34:02,471 (KIDS YELLING) 895 00:34:02,473 --> 00:34:04,142 Stay! Stay. 896 00:34:23,628 --> 00:34:26,061 - What's up, Soapy? - (WHISTLES) 897 00:34:26,063 --> 00:34:27,064 More pills? 898 00:34:29,334 --> 00:34:30,902 Did Apple change their logo? 899 00:34:32,235 --> 00:34:33,604 THORNY: What have we here? 900 00:34:34,505 --> 00:34:36,405 (SNIFFS) Cubans. 901 00:34:36,407 --> 00:34:38,173 Must make you feel right at home. 902 00:34:38,175 --> 00:34:39,640 Good one. 903 00:34:39,642 --> 00:34:41,142 KID: Pills, pills, pills! 904 00:34:41,144 --> 00:34:42,211 THORNY: Oh, boy. 905 00:34:42,213 --> 00:34:43,849 (KIDS SCREAMING) 906 00:34:45,849 --> 00:34:48,184 Viva la revolución, baby! 907 00:34:48,186 --> 00:34:49,484 - Ay, ay, ay! - FARVA: Ugh. 908 00:34:49,486 --> 00:34:50,986 You ever hear of the Cuban Embargo? 909 00:34:50,988 --> 00:34:52,655 That embargo is yesterday's news. 910 00:34:52,657 --> 00:34:53,923 Not for me it isn't. 911 00:34:53,925 --> 00:34:56,595 That's like sucking Castro's cold wrinkled dick. 912 00:34:58,530 --> 00:34:59,762 Cuban cigars, 913 00:34:59,764 --> 00:35:01,763 counterfeit iPhones and unmarked pills. 914 00:35:01,765 --> 00:35:02,999 We got something here. 915 00:35:03,001 --> 00:35:05,934 You boys stumbled on quite a booty closet. 916 00:35:05,936 --> 00:35:07,068 A what now? 917 00:35:07,070 --> 00:35:08,838 Booty. Contraband. 918 00:35:08,840 --> 00:35:10,773 What? They don't say "booty" anymore? 919 00:35:10,775 --> 00:35:12,776 - Not really, no. - Nah. 920 00:35:13,577 --> 00:35:14,709 Canadian counterfeit iPhones? 921 00:35:14,711 --> 00:35:17,044 We should call them "A"-Phones, eh? Right? 922 00:35:17,046 --> 00:35:18,949 (DIALING) 923 00:35:20,117 --> 00:35:21,216 (LINE RINGING) 924 00:35:21,218 --> 00:35:23,619 (CELL PHONES RINGING) 925 00:35:23,621 --> 00:35:26,055 They all have the same number? That's a rip-off. 926 00:35:26,057 --> 00:35:28,323 So, what pills do we have? 927 00:35:28,325 --> 00:35:29,591 Not sure. 928 00:35:29,593 --> 00:35:32,028 Five different kinds. None of them have markings. 929 00:35:32,030 --> 00:35:33,195 Send them to the lab. 930 00:35:33,197 --> 00:35:35,330 I tried! The U.S. lab said send them to the Canadian lab. 931 00:35:35,332 --> 00:35:36,432 The Canadian lab said, 932 00:35:36,434 --> 00:35:37,566 (IN CANADIAN ACCENT) "Oh, ya, hey there. 933 00:35:37,568 --> 00:35:38,600 "Send 'em over to the U.S. lab there." 934 00:35:38,602 --> 00:35:39,968 Maybe the Mounties have some pull? 935 00:35:39,970 --> 00:35:41,604 - Boo! - (OVERLAPPING CHATTER) 936 00:35:41,606 --> 00:35:42,671 Fuck the Mounties! 937 00:35:42,673 --> 00:35:43,939 - Fuckin' Canada. - Fuck that. 938 00:35:43,941 --> 00:35:45,740 For all we know, this was the Mounties. 939 00:35:45,742 --> 00:35:47,742 Easy on the local cop conspiracies. 940 00:35:47,744 --> 00:35:49,945 We'll solve this case ourselves. 941 00:35:49,947 --> 00:35:51,546 I'll put a call out to Montpelier, 942 00:35:51,548 --> 00:35:54,283 see if they can line up a lab for us. 943 00:35:54,285 --> 00:35:56,519 Wah, wah! I don't need some nerd 944 00:35:56,521 --> 00:35:58,201 in a lab coat to tell me what this shit is. 945 00:35:59,691 --> 00:36:01,689 (EXCLAIMS, CRUNCHING) 946 00:36:01,691 --> 00:36:03,658 Sometimes even I've gotta hand it to you, 947 00:36:03,660 --> 00:36:04,959 you weird son of a bitch. 948 00:36:04,961 --> 00:36:06,662 But why is it that you chew a pill 949 00:36:06,664 --> 00:36:08,564 yet you swallow M&M's whole? 950 00:36:08,566 --> 00:36:10,934 I'm a complicated guy, Mac. (CHEWS GUM) 951 00:36:10,936 --> 00:36:12,303 Okay. All right. 952 00:36:13,637 --> 00:36:15,504 See you boys in the Renaissance Period. 953 00:36:15,506 --> 00:36:16,571 Huzzah! 954 00:36:16,573 --> 00:36:18,142 (ALL GULPING) 955 00:36:20,276 --> 00:36:22,079 (MOANING) 956 00:36:22,914 --> 00:36:24,981 (DRAWLING) Can't move. 957 00:36:24,983 --> 00:36:26,716 My mouth's dry. 958 00:36:26,718 --> 00:36:28,249 What do you think, like a heavy barbiturate? 959 00:36:28,251 --> 00:36:29,417 Maybe a muscle relaxant? 960 00:36:29,419 --> 00:36:30,852 You really can't move? 961 00:36:30,854 --> 00:36:33,821 I'm numb. I'm totally numb. 962 00:36:33,823 --> 00:36:35,360 - (SMACKS LIPS) - MAC: Okay. 963 00:36:36,227 --> 00:36:37,593 What are you doing? 964 00:36:37,595 --> 00:36:38,693 - (GROANS) - Oh! 965 00:36:38,695 --> 00:36:40,829 Fuck you, Mac. I need medical attention. 966 00:36:40,831 --> 00:36:43,298 Side effects may include fatness and irritability. 967 00:36:43,300 --> 00:36:45,069 I think it's a mood enhancer. 968 00:36:46,537 --> 00:36:47,903 (GROANS) God damn it. 969 00:36:47,905 --> 00:36:50,305 - I know I'm in a better mood. - (ALL LAUGH) 970 00:36:50,307 --> 00:36:51,372 Do we have any more fly strips? 971 00:36:51,374 --> 00:36:52,874 I want to make him a headband. 972 00:36:52,876 --> 00:36:54,276 FOSTER: ♪ Three little maids from school are we ♪ 973 00:36:54,278 --> 00:36:56,512 ♪ Pert as a school-girl well should be ♪ 974 00:36:56,514 --> 00:36:57,745 ♪ Filled to the brim with girlish glee ♪ 975 00:36:57,747 --> 00:36:59,048 ♪ Three little maids from school ♪ 976 00:36:59,050 --> 00:37:01,582 - That's gotta be speed, right? - Absolutely. 977 00:37:01,584 --> 00:37:04,019 Wow. You seem kinda wired. 978 00:37:04,021 --> 00:37:05,988 I'm just psyched to be back on the job! 979 00:37:05,990 --> 00:37:07,722 URSULA: Yeah, okay, well, I knew you would be. 980 00:37:07,724 --> 00:37:08,791 Ooh, did I tell ya the oth... 981 00:37:08,793 --> 00:37:09,992 Oh, yeah, I got, I got a triangulator. 982 00:37:09,994 --> 00:37:11,994 Why would you need a triangulator? 983 00:37:11,996 --> 00:37:13,095 Why does everyone keep saying that? 984 00:37:13,097 --> 00:37:14,930 - To triangulate, baby! - (CHUCKLES) 985 00:37:14,932 --> 00:37:16,231 Hey, how come we never go dancing anymore? 986 00:37:16,233 --> 00:37:19,167 When I get home, we're gonna go fuckin' dancing. 987 00:37:19,169 --> 00:37:20,234 Okay. I can't wait. 988 00:37:20,236 --> 00:37:21,104 (HUFFING) 989 00:37:21,106 --> 00:37:23,539 FARVA: Rabbit, get me some lemonade. 990 00:37:23,541 --> 00:37:26,041 Rabbit. Get me some lemonade, please. 991 00:37:26,043 --> 00:37:27,008 (GRUNTING) 992 00:37:27,010 --> 00:37:29,544 Get me some goddamn lemonade, rookie! 993 00:37:29,546 --> 00:37:31,814 Don't you call me rookie, you fucker! 994 00:37:31,816 --> 00:37:34,082 I will fucking put my fist right through your head! 995 00:37:34,084 --> 00:37:35,785 - I'm thinkin' 'roids. - Absolutely. 996 00:37:35,787 --> 00:37:37,486 How about you? You feel anything? 997 00:37:37,488 --> 00:37:40,155 Wet mouth. Sweaty palms. 998 00:37:40,157 --> 00:37:44,892 Moist ear canals. And I'm just feeling emotional. 999 00:37:44,894 --> 00:37:46,664 - Hm. Okay. - (TYPING) 1000 00:37:50,200 --> 00:37:52,167 I think you took a Canadian female 1001 00:37:52,169 --> 00:37:55,970 sexual enhancement drug called Flova Scotia. 1002 00:37:55,972 --> 00:37:58,472 "Made in Canada, but banned in the U.S." 1003 00:37:58,474 --> 00:38:00,411 (MUSIC PLAYING ON LAPTOP) 1004 00:38:02,914 --> 00:38:04,579 FEMALE NARRATOR: When the time is right, 1005 00:38:04,581 --> 00:38:05,916 but you're not. 1006 00:38:06,684 --> 00:38:08,917 Flova Scotia, eh? 1007 00:38:08,919 --> 00:38:10,218 Side effects may include 1008 00:38:10,220 --> 00:38:12,287 wet mouth, sweaty palms, damp ears, moist groin, 1009 00:38:12,289 --> 00:38:15,925 varicose breasts, hair loss, queefing, and bitchiness. 1010 00:38:15,927 --> 00:38:18,026 Flova Scotia, eh? 1011 00:38:18,028 --> 00:38:20,396 You can say "queefing" on Canadian TV? 1012 00:38:20,398 --> 00:38:21,796 Ha! What a country! 1013 00:38:21,798 --> 00:38:23,564 What about you? You're awful smiley. 1014 00:38:23,566 --> 00:38:24,767 I'm on acid. 1015 00:38:24,769 --> 00:38:27,003 Pharmaceutical acid? Is there such a thing? 1016 00:38:27,005 --> 00:38:29,070 Don't know. But I do know you have exactly 1017 00:38:29,072 --> 00:38:31,307 1,509 hairs in your mustache. 1018 00:38:31,309 --> 00:38:34,977 Close! 1,521. I had them counted for my birthday. 1019 00:38:34,979 --> 00:38:36,812 - Really? - Yeah. 1020 00:38:36,814 --> 00:38:38,448 - Really? - Yeah! 1021 00:38:38,450 --> 00:38:40,749 (LAUGHS) I don't know what to believe, Thorn! 1022 00:38:40,751 --> 00:38:42,651 - Okay. - FARVA: Don't you do that. 1023 00:38:42,653 --> 00:38:44,119 I'm really looking forward to this. 1024 00:38:44,121 --> 00:38:45,122 Well? 1025 00:38:46,055 --> 00:38:47,222 You guys come up with anything? 1026 00:38:47,224 --> 00:38:49,825 Indeed we have some very interesting leads. 1027 00:38:49,827 --> 00:38:51,225 Some of them from that computer! 1028 00:38:51,227 --> 00:38:53,762 I think that we are on top of this case. 1029 00:38:53,764 --> 00:38:55,296 RABBIT: We're gonna find out who did this 1030 00:38:55,298 --> 00:38:58,001 and we're gonna stomp in their stupid fucking faces! 1031 00:38:58,501 --> 00:38:59,769 Okay. 1032 00:38:59,771 --> 00:39:01,671 Well, the shack's a dead end. 1033 00:39:01,673 --> 00:39:04,138 It's on abandoned land owned by a defunct mining company. 1034 00:39:04,140 --> 00:39:06,207 So, anyone could have put the booty out there. 1035 00:39:06,209 --> 00:39:07,608 (LAUGHS) 1036 00:39:07,610 --> 00:39:08,979 Why you laughing, Guy Smiley? 1037 00:39:10,381 --> 00:39:12,250 (PSYCHEDELIC MUSIC PLAYING) 1038 00:39:13,483 --> 00:39:14,983 (MAC LAUGHS) 1039 00:39:14,985 --> 00:39:17,218 Okay, if we stake out the shack 1040 00:39:17,220 --> 00:39:19,588 maybe we can catch someone coming or going. 1041 00:39:19,590 --> 00:39:20,655 Let's get back out there. 1042 00:39:20,657 --> 00:39:22,992 (PSYCHEDELIC MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING) 1043 00:39:22,994 --> 00:39:25,227 Farva, hit the radio. 1044 00:39:25,229 --> 00:39:27,064 (SPEAKING JAPANESE) 1045 00:39:29,332 --> 00:39:30,334 (GONG RINGS) 1046 00:39:39,175 --> 00:39:40,642 O'HAGAN: (DISTORTED) You hearing this? 1047 00:39:40,644 --> 00:39:42,477 Come on! Hit the radio! 1048 00:39:42,479 --> 00:39:44,048 Farva! Come on! 1049 00:39:46,450 --> 00:39:48,186 (GIGGLING) 1050 00:39:51,088 --> 00:39:53,222 - (DOOR OPENS) - Uh-oh. 1051 00:39:53,224 --> 00:39:54,657 Woo-hoo! 1052 00:39:54,659 --> 00:39:56,425 I love grass! 1053 00:39:56,427 --> 00:39:58,193 I love life! 1054 00:39:58,195 --> 00:39:59,563 I love music! 1055 00:40:00,965 --> 00:40:02,597 RABBIT: Think puppies, not steroids. 1056 00:40:02,599 --> 00:40:04,800 Think puppies, not steroids. 1057 00:40:04,802 --> 00:40:07,372 Smiling. Puppies. 1058 00:40:08,338 --> 00:40:09,573 (EXHALES) 1059 00:40:10,206 --> 00:40:11,342 Whew! 1060 00:40:15,878 --> 00:40:18,747 Bunnies! Bunnies! 1061 00:40:18,749 --> 00:40:20,483 Hi, bunny. Hi. 1062 00:40:20,485 --> 00:40:23,986 Rabbit. My name's Rabbit. Oh, so cute little thing. 1063 00:40:23,988 --> 00:40:25,423 Bub, bub, bub, bub. 1064 00:40:31,461 --> 00:40:32,530 (CHUCKLES) 1065 00:40:35,832 --> 00:40:37,202 (CHUCKLES) 1066 00:40:37,867 --> 00:40:39,702 (LOUDLY) Just stay there! 1067 00:40:39,704 --> 00:40:42,104 (PETS WHIMPERING) 1068 00:40:42,106 --> 00:40:45,740 - (CHAIRS WHIRRING) - Feel the steroids melting away. 1069 00:40:45,742 --> 00:40:46,776 (MOANS) 1070 00:40:46,778 --> 00:40:48,843 Don't let the job stress you out. 1071 00:40:48,845 --> 00:40:50,044 I love the job. 1072 00:40:50,046 --> 00:40:52,780 Doesn't stress me out. Farva stresses me out. 1073 00:40:52,782 --> 00:40:53,981 Such a shame. 1074 00:40:53,983 --> 00:40:56,621 Why are the good-looking ones always so obnoxious? 1075 00:40:57,621 --> 00:40:58,921 You think he's good-looking? 1076 00:40:58,923 --> 00:41:00,388 (SPEAKS FRENCH) 1077 00:41:00,390 --> 00:41:03,892 "The bigger the cushion, the better the pushing." 1078 00:41:03,894 --> 00:41:06,095 - No. - (CHUCKLES) No. 1079 00:41:06,097 --> 00:41:06,995 (LAUGHS) 1080 00:41:06,997 --> 00:41:09,265 I would rather have sex with a baboon. 1081 00:41:09,267 --> 00:41:10,599 (BOTH LAUGHING) 1082 00:41:10,601 --> 00:41:11,600 It's funny though, huh? 1083 00:41:11,602 --> 00:41:14,436 We all have that one horrible person we work with. 1084 00:41:14,438 --> 00:41:17,740 For me, it's my office manager Lonnie Laloush. 1085 00:41:17,742 --> 00:41:21,175 Oh, he can be such a "deeckwad". 1086 00:41:21,177 --> 00:41:23,278 - (CHUCKLES) - What? 1087 00:41:23,280 --> 00:41:24,345 It's just with your accent, 1088 00:41:24,347 --> 00:41:26,314 the way you say "dickwad" is adorable. 1089 00:41:26,316 --> 00:41:28,649 No, but it's true. He is a deeckwad. 1090 00:41:28,651 --> 00:41:29,718 (LAUGHS) 1091 00:41:29,720 --> 00:41:31,519 (BELLEFUILLE SPEAKS FRENCH) 1092 00:41:31,521 --> 00:41:33,689 First you steal our job 1093 00:41:33,691 --> 00:41:34,856 and now you sit here 1094 00:41:34,858 --> 00:41:37,294 gazing lovingly into the eyes of our women. 1095 00:41:37,727 --> 00:41:39,260 Your women? 1096 00:41:39,262 --> 00:41:41,162 Well, maybe we should take him in the back, 1097 00:41:41,164 --> 00:41:43,265 give him Canadian handshake, eh? 1098 00:41:43,267 --> 00:41:44,265 What's that? 1099 00:41:44,267 --> 00:41:46,901 Let's just say it involve a bag of hockey puck 1100 00:41:46,903 --> 00:41:49,437 and a lot of warm gravy. 1101 00:41:49,439 --> 00:41:50,606 Mm. Sounds delicious. 1102 00:41:50,608 --> 00:41:52,140 - (HORN BLARES) - FARVA: Make way! 1103 00:41:52,142 --> 00:41:54,044 Hot soup coming through! 1104 00:41:54,878 --> 00:41:57,345 Oh, Canadian standoff, huh? 1105 00:41:57,347 --> 00:41:59,146 Oh, it look like professor Stephen Hawking 1106 00:41:59,148 --> 00:42:01,015 has really let himself go these days. 1107 00:42:01,017 --> 00:42:02,550 (LAUGHS BOISTEROUSLY) 1108 00:42:02,552 --> 00:42:04,320 (MIMICS LAUGHTER) 1109 00:42:04,322 --> 00:42:06,287 (IN ROBOTIC VOICE) When God created Canada, 1110 00:42:06,289 --> 00:42:09,390 it was like the universe farted. 1111 00:42:09,392 --> 00:42:10,291 (BLOWS RASPBERRY) 1112 00:42:10,293 --> 00:42:12,160 Why do all the fat one always ride around 1113 00:42:12,162 --> 00:42:13,528 on these little scooters? 1114 00:42:13,530 --> 00:42:15,664 You ever stop and think that if you walk, 1115 00:42:15,666 --> 00:42:16,899 you might actually be thin? 1116 00:42:16,901 --> 00:42:18,436 (BLOWING WHISTLE) 1117 00:42:19,570 --> 00:42:20,801 Wow. 1118 00:42:20,803 --> 00:42:23,939 These pigs are harassing the handicapped! 1119 00:42:23,941 --> 00:42:26,307 Everybody look. Take a phone video! 1120 00:42:26,309 --> 00:42:31,046 - MAN: Hey! Leave him alone! - Hey! This it is far from over. 1121 00:42:31,048 --> 00:42:33,314 - You want to go to TJ's Arcade? - Oui. 1122 00:42:33,316 --> 00:42:35,316 I have some loonie I need to break. 1123 00:42:35,318 --> 00:42:36,619 C'est bon. 1124 00:42:36,621 --> 00:42:38,454 (MUMBLES MOCK FRENCH) 1125 00:42:38,456 --> 00:42:39,957 Fuckin' Frenchies. 1126 00:42:42,059 --> 00:42:44,392 What are you two doing together? Mall walking? 1127 00:42:44,394 --> 00:42:47,195 We ran into each other at the pet store. 1128 00:42:47,197 --> 00:42:50,231 (CHUCKLES) Rabbit. You shopping for a new gerbil? 1129 00:42:50,233 --> 00:42:52,968 (LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY) 1130 00:42:52,970 --> 00:42:54,937 Hey, Gwenevieve how about the two of us 1131 00:42:54,939 --> 00:42:56,437 go over to the Saskatchuan Palace 1132 00:42:56,439 --> 00:42:58,707 and get a wang dang doodle? (CHUCKLES) 1133 00:42:58,709 --> 00:42:59,841 Uh, non. 1134 00:42:59,843 --> 00:43:02,276 Ooh, woof woof. Put a little bark on that and I'll bite. 1135 00:43:02,278 --> 00:43:05,449 (SCOFFS) Okay, I'm going to go. 1136 00:43:07,517 --> 00:43:08,850 It was great seeing you. 1137 00:43:08,852 --> 00:43:10,621 Don't leave on my account. (CHUCKLES) 1138 00:43:11,555 --> 00:43:13,358 Uh-huh! Cocky, huh? 1139 00:43:14,492 --> 00:43:15,657 How about we up the bet? 1140 00:43:15,659 --> 00:43:16,957 There is no bet, Farva. 1141 00:43:16,959 --> 00:43:18,394 Okay, new bet then. 1142 00:43:18,396 --> 00:43:21,662 Loser not only cuts off his pinky toe with a shovel, 1143 00:43:21,664 --> 00:43:22,997 he puts it in a blender 1144 00:43:22,999 --> 00:43:25,633 and drinks it in a smoothie, toenail and all. 1145 00:43:25,635 --> 00:43:26,867 - (SCOFFS) - Come on. 1146 00:43:26,869 --> 00:43:28,169 Shake it, don't mistake it. 1147 00:43:28,171 --> 00:43:29,637 You're serious? 1148 00:43:29,639 --> 00:43:30,805 Serious as a heart attack. 1149 00:43:30,807 --> 00:43:33,508 And I should know. I've had two. 1150 00:43:33,510 --> 00:43:36,010 (SCOOTER BEEPING) 1151 00:43:36,012 --> 00:43:37,547 - Wow. - FARVA: Pinky toe smoothie! 1152 00:43:42,485 --> 00:43:44,486 (LAUGHS) 1153 00:43:44,488 --> 00:43:46,657 - Somebody clean this up. - (HORN HONKS) 1154 00:43:55,532 --> 00:43:56,899 Son of a bitch. 1155 00:43:56,901 --> 00:43:57,966 Hey! 1156 00:43:57,968 --> 00:44:00,070 Heat goggles have arrived! 1157 00:44:01,037 --> 00:44:02,472 Looking hot, Mac. 1158 00:44:03,206 --> 00:44:05,474 Hey, nickel plated cuffs! 1159 00:44:05,476 --> 00:44:08,843 Oh, shit. These things are defective. 1160 00:44:08,845 --> 00:44:10,012 What's wrong with them? 1161 00:44:10,014 --> 00:44:11,213 They don't seem to lock. 1162 00:44:11,215 --> 00:44:12,914 Here. Let me see. 1163 00:44:12,916 --> 00:44:14,552 Here you go, Rabbit, give me that hand. 1164 00:44:17,887 --> 00:44:20,055 - THORNY: I got mine to work. - FOSTER: Maybe it's this one. 1165 00:44:20,057 --> 00:44:21,856 - Okay. - Oh, yeah, that works. Okay, good. 1166 00:44:21,858 --> 00:44:23,124 Try the ankle ones. 1167 00:44:23,126 --> 00:44:24,359 THORNY: Oh, you always gotta check the ankle ones. 1168 00:44:24,361 --> 00:44:25,628 FOSTER: That's the most important. 1169 00:44:25,630 --> 00:44:26,495 And here we go. 1170 00:44:26,497 --> 00:44:28,162 (CHUCKLES) You son-a-bitches. 1171 00:44:28,164 --> 00:44:29,664 You're not shaving my balls! 1172 00:44:29,666 --> 00:44:31,566 It would be an insult to our Canadian hosts if we didn't. 1173 00:44:31,568 --> 00:44:33,436 I'm not a rookie anymore. Get these off me. 1174 00:44:33,438 --> 00:44:35,003 Do you not want to be an ambassador of goodwill? 1175 00:44:35,005 --> 00:44:36,539 No. I don't. Get these off me. 1176 00:44:36,541 --> 00:44:38,673 Rabbit, it's not like we want to shave your balls. 1177 00:44:38,675 --> 00:44:40,242 Thorny, do you want to shave his balls? 1178 00:44:40,244 --> 00:44:41,776 - Me? Hell no. - Foster? 1179 00:44:41,778 --> 00:44:43,678 - No way. - You don't wanna shave his balls, do you, Farva? 1180 00:44:43,680 --> 00:44:44,879 Hell yeah, I do! 1181 00:44:44,881 --> 00:44:45,948 I even went out and bought 1182 00:44:45,950 --> 00:44:47,314 one of those old-timey straight razors. 1183 00:44:47,316 --> 00:44:49,417 - No. No. - Check this out. 1184 00:44:49,419 --> 00:44:51,419 - (CRACKLING) - (SHRIEKS) 1185 00:44:51,421 --> 00:44:52,287 FARVA: Jesus! 1186 00:44:52,289 --> 00:44:54,122 Goddamn Canadian wiring! 1187 00:44:54,124 --> 00:44:56,160 It's wrecking my freakin' sperm count! 1188 00:44:56,827 --> 00:44:58,059 (FARVA GROANS) 1189 00:44:58,061 --> 00:45:00,495 Are you still taking the Flova Scotia? 1190 00:45:00,497 --> 00:45:02,129 What part of "side effects include 1191 00:45:02,131 --> 00:45:03,832 "queefing and bitchiness" did you not understand? 1192 00:45:03,834 --> 00:45:06,600 Dude, the orgasms are like a moonshot. (CHUCKLES) 1193 00:45:06,602 --> 00:45:08,169 You can't keep taking female hormones. 1194 00:45:08,171 --> 00:45:09,537 It's gonna mess you up. 1195 00:45:09,539 --> 00:45:10,506 Jealous much? 1196 00:45:10,508 --> 00:45:12,140 Now who are you orgasming with? 1197 00:45:12,142 --> 00:45:14,309 (IN CANADIAN ACCENT) Her name is Quebecois Debbie. 1198 00:45:14,311 --> 00:45:17,345 Oh, Thorny, your cock, she is so wide. 1199 00:45:17,347 --> 00:45:19,981 - (BOTH CHUCKLING) - I'd fuck her. 1200 00:45:19,983 --> 00:45:21,050 (SCOFFS) 1201 00:45:21,052 --> 00:45:23,121 - Okay, let's shave this. - Don't. 1202 00:45:31,863 --> 00:45:33,164 (BEAR GRUNTS) 1203 00:45:35,898 --> 00:45:36,965 THORNY: Ready? 1204 00:45:36,967 --> 00:45:38,466 Seriously, cut the crap, guys. 1205 00:45:38,468 --> 00:45:40,605 (INDISTINCT CHATTER, LAUGHTER) 1206 00:45:43,706 --> 00:45:46,008 - O'HAGAN: Ahem! - (FOSTER CLEARS THROAT) 1207 00:45:46,010 --> 00:45:47,575 There's a bear in the station. 1208 00:45:47,577 --> 00:45:50,312 Is that a euphemism for something? 1209 00:45:50,314 --> 00:45:53,282 It's a euphemism for there's a goddamn bear 1210 00:45:53,284 --> 00:45:56,753 eating slabs of raw meat in the goddamn station! 1211 00:45:59,055 --> 00:46:01,356 (BEAR GROWLING) 1212 00:46:01,358 --> 00:46:03,024 - Yeah. Bear. - Okay. 1213 00:46:03,026 --> 00:46:04,091 Where are the guns? 1214 00:46:04,093 --> 00:46:05,794 In the room with the bear. 1215 00:46:05,796 --> 00:46:07,028 Tear gas grenades? 1216 00:46:07,030 --> 00:46:09,030 - I just got a new delivery! - There you go! Where is it? 1217 00:46:09,032 --> 00:46:11,499 In the room with the guns and the bear. 1218 00:46:11,501 --> 00:46:13,434 What if we send Rabbit out to fuck the bear 1219 00:46:13,436 --> 00:46:14,903 as a means of distracting said bear? 1220 00:46:14,905 --> 00:46:16,370 - Yes. - God damn it, 1221 00:46:16,372 --> 00:46:17,909 we've got to get the meat out of there! 1222 00:46:19,376 --> 00:46:21,042 Fine, fuck it. I'll do it. 1223 00:46:21,044 --> 00:46:22,577 - I'll go with you. - Really? 1224 00:46:22,579 --> 00:46:24,046 Yeah. What's the worst that could happen? 1225 00:46:24,048 --> 00:46:25,213 You get mauled by the bear. 1226 00:46:25,215 --> 00:46:26,648 Or that bear could get mauled by me. 1227 00:46:26,650 --> 00:46:28,416 - You ever think about that? - No, I didn't. 1228 00:46:28,418 --> 00:46:29,484 Okay, here's the plan: 1229 00:46:29,486 --> 00:46:30,753 I'll go out there and distract the bear, 1230 00:46:30,755 --> 00:46:31,619 while you get the meat 1231 00:46:31,621 --> 00:46:32,921 and get it the hell out of the station. 1232 00:46:32,923 --> 00:46:33,988 Team Ram-Rod! 1233 00:46:33,990 --> 00:46:35,492 Please don't start with that shit. 1234 00:46:39,796 --> 00:46:40,861 (SNORTS) 1235 00:46:40,863 --> 00:46:42,365 FOSTER: Good luck, fellas. 1236 00:46:44,099 --> 00:46:46,203 (WHISPERS) Okay. You stay here. 1237 00:46:49,872 --> 00:46:51,905 Big boy. Hey, big boy! 1238 00:46:51,907 --> 00:46:53,774 (WHISTLES, CAWING) 1239 00:46:53,776 --> 00:46:54,843 (GRUNTS) 1240 00:46:54,845 --> 00:46:56,211 - Oh, boy. - Oh, no. 1241 00:46:56,213 --> 00:46:59,213 Come here, Ditka. Come here. Come here, boy! 1242 00:46:59,215 --> 00:47:00,418 (WHISPERS) Go, go, go. 1243 00:47:01,050 --> 00:47:02,419 - Come on! - (GROWLS) 1244 00:47:02,985 --> 00:47:04,419 Come on! Come on! 1245 00:47:04,421 --> 00:47:05,820 - Come, come! - (ROARS) 1246 00:47:05,822 --> 00:47:06,887 Okay. 1247 00:47:06,889 --> 00:47:08,390 Okay, okay. 1248 00:47:08,392 --> 00:47:09,457 Fuck you, bear. 1249 00:47:09,459 --> 00:47:10,995 - (GROWLING) - Shit. 1250 00:47:14,764 --> 00:47:15,765 Shit. 1251 00:47:19,535 --> 00:47:20,604 (GRUNTS) 1252 00:47:23,807 --> 00:47:25,006 (YELLING) 1253 00:47:25,008 --> 00:47:26,310 THORNY: Go, go, go, go! 1254 00:47:29,012 --> 00:47:30,814 (WHIMPERING) 1255 00:47:31,481 --> 00:47:32,448 (SNARLS) 1256 00:47:32,450 --> 00:47:34,182 ♪ Big bear ♪ 1257 00:47:34,184 --> 00:47:35,350 (GRUNTING) 1258 00:47:35,352 --> 00:47:36,818 ♪ Got a chest like a rug ♪ 1259 00:47:36,820 --> 00:47:37,986 Oh, shit. 1260 00:47:37,988 --> 00:47:40,921 ♪ He don't take no guff, he's Big Bear ♪ 1261 00:47:40,923 --> 00:47:42,157 Hey. Hey. 1262 00:47:42,159 --> 00:47:44,425 Get out of there. Stop. 1263 00:47:44,427 --> 00:47:46,195 - Should I shoot him? - Who? Farva? 1264 00:47:46,197 --> 00:47:47,329 Ooh, good idea. 1265 00:47:47,331 --> 00:47:48,932 No, no! No, no, no. 1266 00:47:49,832 --> 00:47:50,999 (WHIMPERS) 1267 00:47:51,001 --> 00:47:52,267 (GROWLS) 1268 00:47:52,269 --> 00:47:53,934 Go away! 1269 00:47:53,936 --> 00:47:55,405 (SHRIEKING) 1270 00:47:56,506 --> 00:47:57,675 ALL: Oh! 1271 00:47:58,541 --> 00:48:00,441 - Get away, bear. - (GROWLS) 1272 00:48:00,443 --> 00:48:03,644 ♪ Come on, give a bear a hug ♪ 1273 00:48:03,646 --> 00:48:05,946 Go! Go! Go! 1274 00:48:05,948 --> 00:48:07,418 Get out of here. Fuck. 1275 00:48:09,986 --> 00:48:11,986 (ALL CHEERING) 1276 00:48:11,988 --> 00:48:14,088 Holy shit, I "bear-ly" made it. 1277 00:48:14,090 --> 00:48:16,224 (ALL LAUGHING) 1278 00:48:16,226 --> 00:48:17,925 That could've been "grizzly". 1279 00:48:17,927 --> 00:48:19,494 - (ALL CHUCKLE) - Yeah. 1280 00:48:19,496 --> 00:48:21,428 I think someone took a "growler" in here. 1281 00:48:21,430 --> 00:48:22,765 - Shoot him. - (COCKS GUN) 1282 00:48:22,767 --> 00:48:25,867 - (INDISTINCT CHATTER IN CAR) - MAC: Fuckin' Mounties! 1283 00:48:25,869 --> 00:48:27,135 Son of a bitch! 1284 00:48:27,137 --> 00:48:29,738 Those guys have been assholes since the moment we arrived 1285 00:48:29,740 --> 00:48:31,405 and now they are trying to kill us. 1286 00:48:31,407 --> 00:48:33,240 This goes a lot farther than just being angry 1287 00:48:33,242 --> 00:48:34,709 about losing their jobs. 1288 00:48:34,711 --> 00:48:36,345 Cap, we've been pelted by hockey pucks, 1289 00:48:36,347 --> 00:48:37,945 had dicks tugged in front of our faces 1290 00:48:37,947 --> 00:48:40,548 and gotten our asses kicked by prostitutes of both sexes. 1291 00:48:40,550 --> 00:48:42,984 I think it's time we had our own fun. Who's with me? 1292 00:48:42,986 --> 00:48:44,253 - (ALL CHEERS) - Yeah! Let's go! 1293 00:48:44,255 --> 00:48:46,854 Dude, you fuckin' stink. 1294 00:48:46,856 --> 00:48:47,992 Sorry. 1295 00:48:48,825 --> 00:48:52,693 Guys! Guys! Anyone? 1296 00:48:52,695 --> 00:48:54,930 The shaving cream is starting to burn. 1297 00:48:54,932 --> 00:48:56,164 Did you use menthol?! 1298 00:48:56,166 --> 00:48:58,934 FEMALE NARRATOR: Hair loss, queefing and bitchiness. 1299 00:48:58,936 --> 00:49:01,669 Flova Scotia, eh? 1300 00:49:01,671 --> 00:49:04,705 Fuckin' rights. It's the same guy, bud. 1301 00:49:04,707 --> 00:49:07,408 No, no, no. It's a different guy, that guy, eh. 1302 00:49:07,410 --> 00:49:09,510 Yeah, no! That's Danny DeVito! 1303 00:49:09,512 --> 00:49:12,280 (GRUNTS) Danny DeVito is the actor from Taxi, 1304 00:49:12,282 --> 00:49:13,615 but that guy I like, 1305 00:49:13,617 --> 00:49:16,350 he come out on Always Sunny in Philadelphia's. 1306 00:49:16,352 --> 00:49:17,686 Bud, they're the same guy. 1307 00:49:17,688 --> 00:49:19,653 How many 145-centimeter actors do you think there are? 1308 00:49:19,655 --> 00:49:21,222 They're both Danny DeVito! 1309 00:49:21,224 --> 00:49:22,390 (INDISTINCT MUMBLING) 1310 00:49:22,392 --> 00:49:24,792 No, Danny DeVito Taxi long time ago. 1311 00:49:24,794 --> 00:49:27,662 But this producer from Always Sunnys, 1312 00:49:27,664 --> 00:49:29,530 they like him so much, (POPS LIPS) 1313 00:49:29,532 --> 00:49:31,932 they put him it into the show, eh. 1314 00:49:31,934 --> 00:49:34,401 That doesn't mean they can't be the same guy, bud. 1315 00:49:34,403 --> 00:49:35,836 That's one guy. It's a different era. 1316 00:49:35,838 --> 00:49:37,704 He can do two shows in fucking 30 years. 1317 00:49:37,706 --> 00:49:39,673 How many times do we have to go over this? 1318 00:49:39,675 --> 00:49:41,577 It's the same fucking guy! 1319 00:49:41,579 --> 00:49:43,812 - (OBJECT CLATTERING) - (MUMBLING) 1320 00:49:43,814 --> 00:49:46,981 He is right, you know. It is the same guy. 1321 00:49:46,983 --> 00:49:48,983 Danny DeVito was in Taxis 1322 00:49:48,985 --> 00:49:51,921 but he is also in It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia's. 1323 00:49:52,588 --> 00:49:54,455 I know. I make joke on him. 1324 00:49:54,457 --> 00:49:57,291 He think I don't know but I know, eh. 1325 00:49:57,293 --> 00:50:00,061 (CHUCKLES) 1326 00:50:00,063 --> 00:50:02,997 You know who is my favorite, uh, superhero villain? 1327 00:50:02,999 --> 00:50:05,499 Is the Penguin from Batman film, eh. 1328 00:50:05,501 --> 00:50:07,903 That's fuckin' Danny DeVito, bud. 1329 00:50:07,905 --> 00:50:09,204 Get a fucking clue! 1330 00:50:09,206 --> 00:50:10,771 That's Danny DeVito you just said! 1331 00:50:10,773 --> 00:50:12,407 Can you believe this fuckin' guy doesn't know 1332 00:50:12,409 --> 00:50:13,474 who Danny DeVito is? 1333 00:50:13,476 --> 00:50:14,742 Who you mean? The singer? 1334 00:50:14,744 --> 00:50:17,479 No, the fuckin' actor! Danny DeVito. 1335 00:50:17,481 --> 00:50:19,513 The guy who's married to Rhea Perlman! 1336 00:50:19,515 --> 00:50:21,349 Oh, I like him in Hellboy. 1337 00:50:21,351 --> 00:50:22,785 That's Ron Perlman! 1338 00:50:22,787 --> 00:50:25,887 Doesn't matter. Archambault! Hockey is back on! 1339 00:50:25,889 --> 00:50:27,187 What the fuck is wrong with you guys? 1340 00:50:27,189 --> 00:50:28,923 Both of you. You're fucki'' from another planet. 1341 00:50:28,925 --> 00:50:30,725 I can't believe we live in the same country. 1342 00:50:30,727 --> 00:50:32,093 - (PHONE RINGING) - Oh, the fucking phone 1343 00:50:32,095 --> 00:50:33,628 is ringing during hockey night in Canada! 1344 00:50:33,630 --> 00:50:35,662 Who is calling during hockey night in Canada?! 1345 00:50:35,664 --> 00:50:37,832 Who the fuck even has a hard line anymore? 1346 00:50:37,834 --> 00:50:40,401 Archambault, rip the fuckin' phone out of the wall! 1347 00:50:40,403 --> 00:50:41,637 What's next? You're gonna have someone 1348 00:50:41,639 --> 00:50:43,704 deliver a pizza during the fuckin' overtime?! 1349 00:50:43,706 --> 00:50:44,909 (YELLS) 1350 00:50:46,309 --> 00:50:47,943 - (HISSING) - What the fuck? 1351 00:50:47,945 --> 00:50:48,946 (PODEIN COUGHS) 1352 00:50:54,751 --> 00:50:56,751 You know, the other guy I like, 1353 00:50:56,753 --> 00:50:58,586 is the one giving Billy Crystal 1354 00:50:58,588 --> 00:51:00,990 the problem in Throw Momma and the Trains. 1355 00:51:03,860 --> 00:51:05,729 Holy merde. 1356 00:51:06,095 --> 00:51:07,564 (YELLS) 1357 00:51:08,365 --> 00:51:10,398 (GRUNTING) 1358 00:51:10,400 --> 00:51:11,602 (GROANS) 1359 00:51:14,371 --> 00:51:15,840 (GROWLING) 1360 00:51:16,405 --> 00:51:17,674 (LAUGHTER) 1361 00:51:19,443 --> 00:51:20,575 (GRUNTING) 1362 00:51:20,577 --> 00:51:21,779 THORNY: Get him! 1363 00:51:22,512 --> 00:51:23,881 (CRACKLING) 1364 00:51:26,082 --> 00:51:27,517 (GROANING) 1365 00:51:30,320 --> 00:51:32,189 (CHEERING) 1366 00:51:34,124 --> 00:51:35,490 Great fight, guys! 1367 00:51:35,492 --> 00:51:38,292 Pennyworth ADH4 SureShot Cattle Prod. 1368 00:51:38,294 --> 00:51:39,494 Every station needs one. 1369 00:51:39,496 --> 00:51:41,495 (ALL CHEERING) 1370 00:51:41,497 --> 00:51:43,501 I can't breathe. 1371 00:51:53,343 --> 00:51:56,180 - (MUFFLED GRUNTS AND SHOUTS) - (CATTLE PROD CRACKLING) 1372 00:51:58,148 --> 00:52:00,148 (MOUNTIES GROANING) 1373 00:52:00,150 --> 00:52:03,050 We know it's you guys. We can see your mustaches. 1374 00:52:03,052 --> 00:52:04,919 Come on, you can't leave us out here. 1375 00:52:04,921 --> 00:52:07,789 We are at least 100 kilomètres in the woods! 1376 00:52:07,791 --> 00:52:09,193 ARCHAMBAULT: Maybe more, huh? 1377 00:52:14,264 --> 00:52:15,762 (ALL PANTING) 1378 00:52:15,764 --> 00:52:18,568 BELLEFUILLE: Ah, tabernacle. Here come the mosquito. 1379 00:52:19,235 --> 00:52:21,204 (ALL CHEERING) 1380 00:52:23,572 --> 00:52:24,805 We got 24 hours 1381 00:52:24,807 --> 00:52:26,975 to desecrate the good names of these dickfucks. 1382 00:52:26,977 --> 00:52:29,244 - (ALL CHEERING) - Let's do it! 1383 00:52:29,246 --> 00:52:31,345 (ALL CHEERING AND WHOOPING) 1384 00:52:31,347 --> 00:52:34,283 (COUNTS IN FRENCH) 1385 00:52:34,285 --> 00:52:36,120 Let's do it. 1386 00:52:39,956 --> 00:52:42,126 License and registration, eh! 1387 00:52:43,293 --> 00:52:44,291 Here you go. 1388 00:52:44,293 --> 00:52:45,660 FARVA: (ON RADIO) Captain, come in, Captain. 1389 00:52:45,662 --> 00:52:47,495 - Officer. - FARVA: Captain, come in. 1390 00:52:47,497 --> 00:52:49,231 MAN: Officer, here you go. 1391 00:52:49,233 --> 00:52:50,532 FARVA: Are you hearing anything, Captain? 1392 00:52:50,534 --> 00:52:51,865 You think maybe your buddy is getting 1393 00:52:51,867 --> 00:52:53,938 a little old for this? I mean, a deaf cop? 1394 00:52:54,438 --> 00:52:56,338 Who said that, eh? 1395 00:52:56,340 --> 00:52:59,673 Ooh. You, sir, have the nose of a king. 1396 00:52:59,675 --> 00:53:02,443 Hold tight, I'm gonna get my ticket book. 1397 00:53:02,445 --> 00:53:03,879 (FOSTER GROANS) 1398 00:53:03,881 --> 00:53:05,613 (IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE) Ya! Hey there. 1399 00:53:05,615 --> 00:53:07,548 - License and registration. - All right. 1400 00:53:07,550 --> 00:53:09,416 (IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE) Let's go! License and registration, eh! 1401 00:53:09,418 --> 00:53:10,617 (SNICKERING) 1402 00:53:10,619 --> 00:53:11,686 (IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE) What's so funny... 1403 00:53:11,688 --> 00:53:14,354 ...Mr. Matt Tomon? 1404 00:53:14,356 --> 00:53:15,423 You think it's funny that 1405 00:53:15,425 --> 00:53:16,925 I lost my balls in a tractor pull? 1406 00:53:16,927 --> 00:53:18,727 Wait, you both got your nuts ripped off 1407 00:53:18,729 --> 00:53:19,861 in a tractor pull? 1408 00:53:19,863 --> 00:53:21,695 I lost mine in the spokes of my bicycle. 1409 00:53:21,697 --> 00:53:23,666 You know how fast that will stop a bicycle? 1410 00:53:25,802 --> 00:53:27,468 MAN: Hey, Officer! 1411 00:53:27,470 --> 00:53:29,870 - Hey, you're on my wagon. - What? 1412 00:53:29,872 --> 00:53:33,039 Come on! Wake up! Wake up! 1413 00:53:33,041 --> 00:53:34,877 FARVA: License and registration, hey? 1414 00:53:36,445 --> 00:53:38,678 'Scuse me one second, eh. 1415 00:53:38,680 --> 00:53:40,080 - You bitch! - (GRUNTS) 1416 00:53:40,082 --> 00:53:42,052 - Get back here, you! - FARVA: Ow! Ow! 1417 00:53:44,287 --> 00:53:46,254 - Hey, there. - Hi. 1418 00:53:46,256 --> 00:53:48,323 License and registration. 1419 00:53:48,325 --> 00:53:51,559 Aren't you the two that pulled me over before? 1420 00:53:51,561 --> 00:53:52,861 Beg your pardon? 1421 00:53:52,863 --> 00:53:56,497 How are you Mounties now? Or should I say Meow-nties? 1422 00:53:56,499 --> 00:53:58,133 - (CHUCKLES) - Say what now? 1423 00:53:58,135 --> 00:54:00,166 Few years ago, you pulled me over 1424 00:54:00,168 --> 00:54:02,269 and you played some game where you said "meow." 1425 00:54:02,271 --> 00:54:04,271 Buddy, I've said a thousand stupid things 1426 00:54:04,273 --> 00:54:05,472 to people over the years. 1427 00:54:05,474 --> 00:54:07,140 You asked if I saw you jumping around 1428 00:54:07,142 --> 00:54:09,843 all nimbly-bimbly from tree to tree? 1429 00:54:09,845 --> 00:54:12,012 (CHUCKLES) I can assure you I've never said the words 1430 00:54:12,014 --> 00:54:14,481 "nimbly-bimbly" in my life. 1431 00:54:14,483 --> 00:54:16,151 - You fucker! - Oh, you bitch! 1432 00:54:16,153 --> 00:54:17,517 (FARVA GROANING) 1433 00:54:17,519 --> 00:54:19,620 Where's the gosh darn cruiser? 1434 00:54:19,622 --> 00:54:20,854 (TYRES SCREECHING) 1435 00:54:20,856 --> 00:54:22,724 Dude, your partner is about to get mucked! 1436 00:54:22,726 --> 00:54:24,691 Where you going, mister? Freeze! 1437 00:54:24,693 --> 00:54:25,973 - (HORN BLARES) - (TYRES SCREECH) 1438 00:54:27,396 --> 00:54:28,431 Ow. Ow! 1439 00:54:31,233 --> 00:54:32,499 (SIGHS) 1440 00:54:32,501 --> 00:54:33,700 - (HONKS HORN) - (SCREAMS) 1441 00:54:33,702 --> 00:54:35,470 (ALL SCREAMING) 1442 00:54:35,472 --> 00:54:37,338 Bro! 1443 00:54:37,340 --> 00:54:39,374 Hang on. Do you really not remember this guy 1444 00:54:39,376 --> 00:54:40,508 or you just fuckin' with him? 1445 00:54:40,510 --> 00:54:41,709 (WHISPERS) Yeah, I have no idea who he is. 1446 00:54:41,711 --> 00:54:43,044 You know I heard everything you said. 1447 00:54:43,046 --> 00:54:44,778 Son of a bitch. We've been doing that for years. 1448 00:54:44,780 --> 00:54:46,948 Forget it. Am I getting a ticket here, or... 1449 00:54:46,950 --> 00:54:48,249 You know what? I want to get my head around this 1450 00:54:48,251 --> 00:54:49,850 'cause now it's driving me crazy. 1451 00:54:49,852 --> 00:54:51,820 Let's do this. We'll switch. You'll be me, I'll be you 1452 00:54:51,822 --> 00:54:53,220 and then you'll do the routine. 1453 00:54:53,222 --> 00:54:54,122 What? All right. 1454 00:54:54,124 --> 00:54:55,759 Ah, you'll kill it, you'll kill it. 1455 00:54:56,126 --> 00:54:57,358 (GRUNTS) 1456 00:54:57,360 --> 00:55:00,961 License and registration meow. Come on, meow. 1457 00:55:00,963 --> 00:55:03,330 - Hey! Now I remember it! - (BOTH LAUGHING) 1458 00:55:03,332 --> 00:55:05,432 - I remember it now. - You remember that. 1459 00:55:05,434 --> 00:55:07,736 In the meanwhile, never give your car keys to a stranger. 1460 00:55:07,738 --> 00:55:08,836 Why is that? 1461 00:55:08,838 --> 00:55:10,805 FOSTER: (GIGGLES) See you, sucker! 1462 00:55:10,807 --> 00:55:14,041 MAC: I knew it was you the whole time, asshole! 1463 00:55:14,043 --> 00:55:16,343 (IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE) What the hell's going on here? Huh? 1464 00:55:16,345 --> 00:55:18,847 Looks like someone's smoking the reefer joints. 1465 00:55:18,849 --> 00:55:20,247 No, that's not marijuana. 1466 00:55:20,249 --> 00:55:21,416 We'll see about that. 1467 00:55:21,418 --> 00:55:23,117 (IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE) Farva, that's not a good idea! 1468 00:55:23,119 --> 00:55:24,287 (SCREAMING) 1469 00:55:25,287 --> 00:55:26,354 What's the... 1470 00:55:26,356 --> 00:55:28,789 (SIREN WAILING) 1471 00:55:28,791 --> 00:55:30,059 Okay, this is happening. 1472 00:55:33,762 --> 00:55:35,998 (SPEAKING FRENCH) 1473 00:55:37,066 --> 00:55:38,265 Sorry. 1474 00:55:38,267 --> 00:55:40,602 (SPEAKING FRENCH) 1475 00:55:40,604 --> 00:55:41,669 We're from America. 1476 00:55:41,671 --> 00:55:42,937 We don't speak French. 1477 00:55:42,939 --> 00:55:43,974 Oh. 1478 00:55:44,508 --> 00:55:45,909 (HORSE NEIGHING) 1479 00:55:47,876 --> 00:55:49,477 (SPEAKING FRENCH) 1480 00:55:49,479 --> 00:55:50,945 Do neither of you speak English? 1481 00:55:50,947 --> 00:55:52,613 - (IN FRENCH ACCENT) I do. - Oh. 1482 00:55:52,615 --> 00:55:54,448 Em... (CLICKS TONGUE) 1483 00:55:54,450 --> 00:55:55,950 Your papers. 1484 00:55:55,952 --> 00:55:59,954 We would like to eat your papers. 1485 00:55:59,956 --> 00:56:02,990 (IN FRENCH ACCENT) Can you show me your party papers? 1486 00:56:02,992 --> 00:56:05,459 - You want to see our party papers? - Party papers? 1487 00:56:05,461 --> 00:56:06,928 Bon vivant bouillabaisse, 1488 00:56:06,930 --> 00:56:09,162 cul de sac, les serve chicken cordon bleu. 1489 00:56:09,164 --> 00:56:10,965 Formidable Baton Rouge. 1490 00:56:10,967 --> 00:56:13,234 No bles or blis, o bon pain Château Marmont? 1491 00:56:13,236 --> 00:56:15,202 - Croque monsieur? - Croque madame! 1492 00:56:15,204 --> 00:56:16,271 (SCOFFS) Non! 1493 00:56:16,273 --> 00:56:17,405 Est stupid! 1494 00:56:17,407 --> 00:56:19,573 Frère Jacques, Grey Poupon, Marquis de Sade, 1495 00:56:19,575 --> 00:56:20,774 tourette whoop! 1496 00:56:20,776 --> 00:56:22,943 Feather duster, croissant, Les Miserables, 1497 00:56:22,945 --> 00:56:25,211 fart catcher, Luc Robitaille, D'artagnan, 1498 00:56:25,213 --> 00:56:27,881 Perrier, Fran Tarkenton, peanut butter parfait. 1499 00:56:27,883 --> 00:56:28,983 Eau de toilette! 1500 00:56:28,985 --> 00:56:30,352 (IMITATES MOCKINGLY) 1501 00:56:30,354 --> 00:56:31,952 Officers? I'm sorry. 1502 00:56:31,954 --> 00:56:33,421 You're, you're obviously in... 1503 00:56:33,423 --> 00:56:34,722 No, no, no, no, no. 1504 00:56:34,724 --> 00:56:37,825 I must apologize, uh, for me and my partner. 1505 00:56:37,827 --> 00:56:39,227 We should not fight. 1506 00:56:39,229 --> 00:56:41,327 To argue is no way to go through the life. 1507 00:56:41,329 --> 00:56:42,329 I know. 1508 00:56:42,331 --> 00:56:44,499 - Do you know the key to life? - What's that? 1509 00:56:44,501 --> 00:56:46,803 The key to life is a... 1510 00:56:47,436 --> 00:56:50,004 a penis in your asshole. 1511 00:56:50,006 --> 00:56:52,273 I beg your pardon, sir! 1512 00:56:52,275 --> 00:56:54,508 I think you must be saying that wrong! 1513 00:56:54,510 --> 00:56:59,180 No, no, no. The key to life is a penis in your asshole. 1514 00:56:59,182 --> 00:57:01,716 I don't think you're saying what you mean to say. 1515 00:57:01,718 --> 00:57:02,916 Oui! Oui! Oui! 1516 00:57:02,918 --> 00:57:04,151 A penis. A penis. 1517 00:57:04,153 --> 00:57:07,224 You know, eh, eh, to smile. To be happy. 1518 00:57:07,490 --> 00:57:09,057 Oh! 1519 00:57:09,059 --> 00:57:11,291 - "Happiness!" - (ALL CHUCKLE) 1520 00:57:11,293 --> 00:57:12,794 Honey! It's... 1521 00:57:12,796 --> 00:57:14,229 Okay. 1522 00:57:14,231 --> 00:57:15,866 In your asshole. 1523 00:57:16,532 --> 00:57:17,631 That's... 1524 00:57:17,633 --> 00:57:19,899 Your asshole. Eh, where you live. 1525 00:57:19,901 --> 00:57:22,570 Your apartment, your domicile. 1526 00:57:22,572 --> 00:57:23,970 Your house. 1527 00:57:23,972 --> 00:57:25,340 - "Household!" - Ah! 1528 00:57:25,342 --> 00:57:28,809 "The key to life is happiness in your household!" 1529 00:57:28,811 --> 00:57:31,345 Oui, the key to life is "a penis in your asshole"! 1530 00:57:31,347 --> 00:57:33,314 - Oh! - I'm trying to tell her that. 1531 00:57:33,316 --> 00:57:35,052 (ALL LAUGHING) 1532 00:57:37,720 --> 00:57:39,287 What you think I say? 1533 00:57:39,289 --> 00:57:40,754 Oh, I don't even want to tell you. 1534 00:57:40,756 --> 00:57:42,657 Maybe they'll get a kick out of it. 1535 00:57:42,659 --> 00:57:44,459 We thought that you said, 1536 00:57:44,461 --> 00:57:49,396 that the key to life is a penis in your asshole. 1537 00:57:49,398 --> 00:57:51,365 Sacrebleu, non! 1538 00:57:51,367 --> 00:57:53,767 You Americans think everyone want to fuck you! 1539 00:57:53,769 --> 00:57:55,736 No one want to fuck you! 1540 00:57:55,738 --> 00:57:57,137 Merde! 1541 00:57:57,139 --> 00:57:59,275 Here is your party papers! 1542 00:58:00,008 --> 00:58:02,376 I thought Canadians were nice. 1543 00:58:02,378 --> 00:58:04,711 THORNY: Whoa! Whoa! Wait for me. Okay. 1544 00:58:04,713 --> 00:58:05,879 (LAUGHTER) 1545 00:58:05,881 --> 00:58:07,048 I was thinking we could do like 1546 00:58:07,050 --> 00:58:08,316 a "Who's on First?" pullover. 1547 00:58:08,318 --> 00:58:10,986 "Rabbit and Fostello." You know, old-time comedy. 1548 00:58:10,988 --> 00:58:12,189 - Love it. - Ooh. 1549 00:58:15,057 --> 00:58:17,392 - How are they back so quick? - Shit! Shit, shit, shit! 1550 00:58:17,394 --> 00:58:18,428 - Shit! - Go, go, go, go! 1551 00:58:26,903 --> 00:58:28,669 There are these son-of-a-bitch guys, eh! 1552 00:58:28,671 --> 00:58:30,405 Stomp you a new mudhole! 1553 00:58:30,407 --> 00:58:31,338 O'HAGAN: Whoa, whoa! 1554 00:58:31,340 --> 00:58:33,173 What the hell happened to you guys? 1555 00:58:33,175 --> 00:58:35,042 They dump us in the woods! 1556 00:58:35,044 --> 00:58:36,878 What?! Why would we do that? We're the police. 1557 00:58:36,880 --> 00:58:38,312 Too bad for you my dad dropped me in the woods 1558 00:58:38,314 --> 00:58:40,481 - naked every summer! - Hah? 1559 00:58:40,483 --> 00:58:41,881 Oh, sounds too bad for you. 1560 00:58:41,883 --> 00:58:43,785 Come on. You know you do this. Look at us. 1561 00:58:43,787 --> 00:58:46,153 We are paint all red, white and blue. 1562 00:58:46,155 --> 00:58:47,821 Aren't those the colors of the French flag? 1563 00:58:47,823 --> 00:58:49,957 (SPUTTERS) Oh, the color the French flag. 1564 00:58:49,959 --> 00:58:51,091 Perhaps the guys who did this were British. 1565 00:58:51,093 --> 00:58:52,626 Could've been Costa Rican. 1566 00:58:52,628 --> 00:58:54,361 Who wants breakfast burritos? 1567 00:58:54,363 --> 00:58:56,664 - (SPEAKS FRENCH) - (EXCLAIMING) 1568 00:58:56,666 --> 00:58:57,532 Take that off or I'll kill you. 1569 00:58:57,534 --> 00:58:59,066 Let's settle this the Canadian way! 1570 00:58:59,068 --> 00:59:00,334 You're in America now! 1571 00:59:00,336 --> 00:59:02,604 (CLAMORING) 1572 00:59:02,606 --> 00:59:05,106 Hey! What's going on here? 1573 00:59:05,108 --> 00:59:07,475 Great Tim Horton's ghost! 1574 00:59:07,477 --> 00:59:09,343 First, I get a call that the Mounties 1575 00:59:09,345 --> 00:59:11,278 are out farting sideways on the highways. 1576 00:59:11,280 --> 00:59:12,914 Then I get a call to come down here. 1577 00:59:12,916 --> 00:59:14,115 BELLEFUILLE: Oh, it wasn't us! 1578 00:59:14,117 --> 00:59:16,117 These fucking guys, they kidnap us 1579 00:59:16,119 --> 00:59:17,550 and they leave us in the woods to die. 1580 00:59:17,552 --> 00:59:20,620 Yeah, then they steal all three of our uniform, eh. 1581 00:59:20,622 --> 00:59:23,390 These guys put a bear in our station! A real bear. Big bear! 1582 00:59:23,392 --> 00:59:25,892 You don't have any proof of that. 1583 00:59:25,894 --> 00:59:27,026 A real bear? 1584 00:59:27,028 --> 00:59:29,898 Maybe. And maybe they deserve a bear! 1585 00:59:29,900 --> 00:59:31,231 - (CLAMORING) - Nobody deserves a bear! 1586 00:59:31,233 --> 00:59:32,834 I give a bear to you! 1587 00:59:32,836 --> 00:59:34,705 - We could have been eaten! - (LAUGHING) 1588 00:59:36,972 --> 00:59:39,273 Why you laughing, Guy? 1589 00:59:39,275 --> 00:59:43,044 Fellas, you are thinking about this all wrong, eh? 1590 00:59:43,046 --> 00:59:46,316 These guys? They impersonated officers. 1591 00:59:47,416 --> 00:59:50,149 There is no way they're holding onto their jobs. 1592 00:59:50,151 --> 00:59:52,519 And I'll do you one better. 1593 00:59:52,521 --> 00:59:55,756 When I get done talking to my good friend Justin Trudeau... 1594 00:59:55,758 --> 00:59:57,158 Eh, the Prime Minister! 1595 00:59:57,160 --> 00:59:58,892 I bet you this whole turnover thing 1596 00:59:58,894 --> 01:00:00,260 goes right out the window. 1597 01:00:00,262 --> 01:00:01,428 Boom! 1598 01:00:01,430 --> 01:00:03,898 So, boys, unpack your bags. Revive those cable bundles. 1599 01:00:03,900 --> 01:00:05,599 'Cause you are not going anywhere. 1600 01:00:05,601 --> 01:00:07,767 I say we celebrate. What are we having for breakfast? 1601 01:00:07,769 --> 01:00:09,937 - Pancake. - Pancake, yeah? 1602 01:00:09,939 --> 01:00:11,439 All right. Oatmeal and raisins it is. 1603 01:00:11,441 --> 01:00:13,506 - Oh. - Kidding. It's pancakes. 1604 01:00:13,508 --> 01:00:16,611 Eh, pancake! Maybe two eggs side by each, eh? 1605 01:00:16,613 --> 01:00:17,778 I don't want this oatmeal. 1606 01:00:17,780 --> 01:00:20,061 BELLEFUILLE: Maybe you put the raisins inside the pancake. 1607 01:00:20,916 --> 01:00:22,416 Genevieve, wait. 1608 01:00:22,418 --> 01:00:24,684 You brought this on yourselves. 1609 01:00:24,686 --> 01:00:26,155 They put a bear... 1610 01:00:27,990 --> 01:00:30,057 This is bad, fellas. 1611 01:00:30,059 --> 01:00:33,294 This is "Fred Savage Ridin'-Along Incident" bad. 1612 01:00:33,296 --> 01:00:34,829 Tell that to Fred Savage. 1613 01:00:34,831 --> 01:00:37,398 Well, no sense in having good breakfast go to waste. 1614 01:00:37,400 --> 01:00:38,765 - I've lost my appetite. - I'm sorry, man. 1615 01:00:38,767 --> 01:00:40,401 - I'm just not hungry. - (CHUCKLES AND STAMMERS) 1616 01:00:40,403 --> 01:00:42,369 You try to do something nice for people, 1617 01:00:42,371 --> 01:00:44,775 and then it just, I just, you know. 1618 01:00:45,508 --> 01:00:47,276 What's the point? 1619 01:00:48,244 --> 01:00:51,412 Stop taking female hormones! 1620 01:00:51,414 --> 01:00:52,680 ♪ Makin' money ♪ 1621 01:00:52,682 --> 01:00:54,115 ♪ Makin' dollars, makin' money ♪ 1622 01:00:54,117 --> 01:00:55,483 MAC: Can we please come in, Cap? 1623 01:00:55,485 --> 01:00:57,885 - He's taking years off my life. - (BURPING) 1624 01:00:57,887 --> 01:00:59,452 O'HAGAN: Just the bad years, kid. 1625 01:00:59,454 --> 01:01:01,521 - I'm serious, Cap. I'm about to snap like a dry twig. - (BURPS) 1626 01:01:01,523 --> 01:01:04,225 Things are still pretty dicey here. Best keep Farva away. 1627 01:01:04,227 --> 01:01:06,394 We'll let you know when the coast is clear. 1628 01:01:06,396 --> 01:01:08,465 (MUSIC PLAYING ON EARPHONES) 1629 01:01:09,499 --> 01:01:11,698 (LOUDLY) Have you heard the new Kanye? 1630 01:01:11,700 --> 01:01:14,602 He's not just about big butts! He's a really good singer. 1631 01:01:14,604 --> 01:01:15,769 (FARVA CHEWING LOUDLY) 1632 01:01:15,771 --> 01:01:19,374 This is great. It's like being on the road again. 1633 01:01:19,376 --> 01:01:21,908 I like to chew mint gum when I'm on the road. 1634 01:01:21,910 --> 01:01:23,276 When I'm radio, it's fruit. 1635 01:01:23,278 --> 01:01:26,548 You know, like Juicy Fruit, Bubblicious, Hubba Bubba. 1636 01:01:26,550 --> 01:01:28,115 Anything fruity. 1637 01:01:28,117 --> 01:01:29,383 On the road, I like mint, though. 1638 01:01:29,385 --> 01:01:31,885 Mint, mint, mint, mint, mint. 1639 01:01:31,887 --> 01:01:33,586 And Beech-Nut, have you tried that? 1640 01:01:33,588 --> 01:01:35,323 They should call it "Beech-Not!" (CHUCKLES) 1641 01:01:35,325 --> 01:01:37,957 Oh, shit, I'm gonna write that down. 1642 01:01:37,959 --> 01:01:39,859 What kind of gum do you chew? 1643 01:01:39,861 --> 01:01:41,331 They should make a black mint gum. 1644 01:01:41,997 --> 01:01:43,164 That would be choice. 1645 01:01:43,166 --> 01:01:45,365 They could call it "Minty Black". 1646 01:01:45,367 --> 01:01:46,934 Yeah, I'm gonna write that down too. 1647 01:01:46,936 --> 01:01:48,803 - No one would buy that. - What? 1648 01:01:48,805 --> 01:01:50,273 No one would buy that stupid gum. 1649 01:01:53,041 --> 01:01:54,108 (UNZIPS) 1650 01:01:54,110 --> 01:01:55,209 - Bullshit. - (URINATING) 1651 01:01:55,211 --> 01:01:58,012 They'd buy it if it was on Friends. 1652 01:01:58,014 --> 01:01:59,247 Like if Ross or Rachel chewed it, 1653 01:01:59,249 --> 01:02:00,648 it'd sell like hotcakes. 1654 01:02:00,650 --> 01:02:01,983 Are you a mutant? 1655 01:02:01,985 --> 01:02:03,917 You follow me out here while I'm pissing just to tell me this shit? 1656 01:02:03,919 --> 01:02:05,285 Quit looking at my dick. 1657 01:02:05,287 --> 01:02:06,519 I'm not looking at your dick. We're taking a piss. 1658 01:02:06,521 --> 01:02:08,189 - So, piss. - I don't have to go. 1659 01:02:08,191 --> 01:02:10,691 (ENGINE ROARING) 1660 01:02:10,693 --> 01:02:12,894 I'll fuck that Canadian right in his back bacon! 1661 01:02:12,896 --> 01:02:13,897 Rod! Rod! 1662 01:02:15,064 --> 01:02:17,432 (GRUNTING) 1663 01:02:17,434 --> 01:02:19,434 - (CHUCKLES) Yeah! - Farva! 1664 01:02:19,436 --> 01:02:21,537 - (SIREN WAILING) - Farva! 1665 01:02:22,637 --> 01:02:23,838 Farva! 1666 01:02:23,840 --> 01:02:25,342 (TYRES SCREECH) 1667 01:02:28,010 --> 01:02:29,478 Dumb fuck. 1668 01:02:29,945 --> 01:02:31,747 (ALARM BEEPING) 1669 01:02:34,450 --> 01:02:35,730 - Unbelievable. - (BEEPING STOPS) 1670 01:02:36,653 --> 01:02:38,753 Who pops an airbag? 1671 01:02:38,755 --> 01:02:40,557 God. You weigh a ton. 1672 01:02:43,927 --> 01:02:46,229 You gotta be shitting me. Don't die on me, Farva. 1673 01:02:48,131 --> 01:02:49,466 Okay. You can do it. 1674 01:02:59,843 --> 01:03:01,344 (MAC GAGS) 1675 01:03:05,581 --> 01:03:06,615 Oh! Fuck! 1676 01:03:07,082 --> 01:03:08,182 From upside down, 1677 01:03:08,184 --> 01:03:10,251 your mustache looks like a big hairy smile. 1678 01:03:10,253 --> 01:03:11,486 Why would you give me the Shocker? 1679 01:03:11,488 --> 01:03:14,354 My way of saying, "Thanks, honey. You saved my life." 1680 01:03:14,356 --> 01:03:16,356 I was dead. I went to Heaven. 1681 01:03:16,358 --> 01:03:17,624 And you were there. 1682 01:03:17,626 --> 01:03:19,994 - You know what you were doing? - What? 1683 01:03:19,996 --> 01:03:23,198 Trying to make out with me, sweetheart! I'm on to you. 1684 01:03:23,200 --> 01:03:25,767 (CHUCKLES) Come here. Give me some more of that. 1685 01:03:25,769 --> 01:03:26,867 (MAKES KISSING NOISES) 1686 01:03:26,869 --> 01:03:27,938 What the hell is that? 1687 01:03:29,773 --> 01:03:31,274 (FARVA GROANS) 1688 01:03:34,843 --> 01:03:36,679 Well, hello, Laverne! 1689 01:03:37,447 --> 01:03:38,879 Looks like the same stuff. 1690 01:03:38,881 --> 01:03:40,816 Yeah, but a shit-ton more of it. 1691 01:03:42,852 --> 01:03:44,617 Holy Hindu holidays. 1692 01:03:44,619 --> 01:03:46,288 There's a new guest at the party. 1693 01:03:47,256 --> 01:03:49,226 AK-47s. 1694 01:03:53,662 --> 01:03:54,595 RABBIT: Hey. 1695 01:03:54,597 --> 01:03:56,329 Oh, no, I don't want to hear it, Rabbit. 1696 01:03:56,331 --> 01:03:58,131 Genevieve, could I just explain? 1697 01:03:58,133 --> 01:03:59,867 There is nothing to explain. 1698 01:03:59,869 --> 01:04:01,635 They put bears in our station. 1699 01:04:01,637 --> 01:04:02,870 This is Canada! 1700 01:04:02,872 --> 01:04:04,470 There are bears everywhere. 1701 01:04:04,472 --> 01:04:05,872 There are bears that go through 1702 01:04:05,874 --> 01:04:06,874 my garbage every night. 1703 01:04:06,876 --> 01:04:09,609 I have cereal with bears in it: Bearios. 1704 01:04:09,611 --> 01:04:11,678 Canada's most popular breakfast. 1705 01:04:11,680 --> 01:04:13,180 LALOUSH: Someone say "Bearios"? 1706 01:04:13,182 --> 01:04:16,350 (IN FRENCH ACCENT) Hey there, Genny. Wanna grab some eats? 1707 01:04:16,352 --> 01:04:17,718 No, thanks. 1708 01:04:17,720 --> 01:04:21,120 Turn that into a maybe and I'll have your baby. 1709 01:04:21,122 --> 01:04:22,325 (CHUCKLES) 1710 01:04:23,126 --> 01:04:24,691 Lonnie Laloush? 1711 01:04:24,693 --> 01:04:27,528 That's mon nom. Don't wear it out, eh? 1712 01:04:27,530 --> 01:04:30,164 You want a hot coffee? I'm pouring. 1713 01:04:30,166 --> 01:04:32,233 Oui, s'il te plait. 1714 01:04:32,235 --> 01:04:33,901 Seems like a real "dickwa-duh", huh? 1715 01:04:33,903 --> 01:04:37,271 I told everyone how wonderful you all are. 1716 01:04:37,273 --> 01:04:40,506 Well, you're not. You have bad hearts. 1717 01:04:40,508 --> 01:04:41,878 Who wants crème fraiche? 1718 01:04:42,878 --> 01:04:44,012 Nobody? 1719 01:04:44,014 --> 01:04:45,345 (CHEWING LOUDLY) 1720 01:04:45,347 --> 01:04:47,449 Okay, no crème fraiche! 1721 01:04:48,450 --> 01:04:50,283 - Please just go. - Genevieve... 1722 01:04:50,285 --> 01:04:51,820 Just go. 1723 01:04:57,260 --> 01:04:58,828 (GUNS FIRING) 1724 01:05:01,231 --> 01:05:04,499 They're actually AK-48s. Illegal in the U.S. 1725 01:05:04,501 --> 01:05:05,631 THORNY: Why 48? 1726 01:05:05,633 --> 01:05:08,869 Because they hold one extra bullet. 1727 01:05:08,871 --> 01:05:09,736 Yeah, sure. You never know 1728 01:05:09,738 --> 01:05:11,271 when you're gonna need just one more. 1729 01:05:11,273 --> 01:05:12,640 This one says "Tiger Penis". 1730 01:05:12,642 --> 01:05:13,774 Suck it! 1731 01:05:13,776 --> 01:05:14,608 Shut up, Farva. 1732 01:05:14,610 --> 01:05:16,443 The Chinese use it to get hard-ons. 1733 01:05:16,445 --> 01:05:17,812 I tried to get it once. 1734 01:05:17,814 --> 01:05:19,814 - You can't buy it in the United States. - (SCOFFS) 1735 01:05:21,349 --> 01:05:23,117 Dude, what's up with your mustache? 1736 01:05:23,119 --> 01:05:24,321 Nothing. 1737 01:05:26,421 --> 01:05:28,155 - Are you wearing a mustache wig? - No! 1738 01:05:28,157 --> 01:05:30,457 It's a postiche, okay? I'm having a little hair loss. 1739 01:05:30,459 --> 01:05:31,526 Don't worry about it. 1740 01:05:31,528 --> 01:05:33,760 Worry about your own goddamn mustache. 1741 01:05:33,762 --> 01:05:34,928 Fuckin' asshole. 1742 01:05:34,930 --> 01:05:36,997 Hey, Mac tell you guys about our little moment? 1743 01:05:36,999 --> 01:05:38,765 Did you, Mac and Cheese? 1744 01:05:38,767 --> 01:05:41,135 You told us, Farva. I don't want to hear it again. 1745 01:05:41,137 --> 01:05:42,535 I'm the Cheese. 1746 01:05:42,537 --> 01:05:43,637 THORNY: All right, look, guys. 1747 01:05:43,639 --> 01:05:45,104 I know we're in some serious shit here, 1748 01:05:45,106 --> 01:05:46,340 but if we can crack this case, 1749 01:05:46,342 --> 01:05:47,575 we might just be able to get 1750 01:05:47,577 --> 01:05:48,943 beyond this whole Mountie thing. 1751 01:05:48,945 --> 01:05:50,276 We didn't do anything. 1752 01:05:50,278 --> 01:05:51,479 Foster, we kidnapped and impersonated 1753 01:05:51,481 --> 01:05:52,916 officers of a sovereign nation. 1754 01:05:53,349 --> 01:05:54,615 Right. 1755 01:05:54,617 --> 01:05:57,617 Cuban cigars, Canadian pills, counterfeit cell phones, 1756 01:05:57,619 --> 01:05:59,285 AK-48s and Tiger Penis. 1757 01:05:59,287 --> 01:06:01,021 What's the link? 1758 01:06:01,023 --> 01:06:03,823 All this stuff is more valuable in the U.S. 1759 01:06:03,825 --> 01:06:04,758 than in Canada. 1760 01:06:04,760 --> 01:06:06,160 So, it's a smuggling operation. 1761 01:06:06,162 --> 01:06:08,061 Someone's trying to move this shit over the border. 1762 01:06:08,063 --> 01:06:09,099 No, they're not. 1763 01:06:10,066 --> 01:06:11,198 Think about it. 1764 01:06:11,200 --> 01:06:12,832 This stuff is just sitting on Canadian land. Yeah. Okay. 1765 01:06:12,834 --> 01:06:15,135 But what happens when this Canadian land 1766 01:06:15,137 --> 01:06:16,704 becomes American land? 1767 01:06:16,706 --> 01:06:20,374 No need to move it at all. It's already on U.S. soil. 1768 01:06:20,376 --> 01:06:21,774 Exactly, huh? 1769 01:06:21,776 --> 01:06:24,579 Passive smuggling. (CHUCKLES) It's my kind of crime. 1770 01:06:24,581 --> 01:06:27,213 So, they must have this shit stashed all along the border. 1771 01:06:27,215 --> 01:06:28,850 Yeah. But who is "they"? 1772 01:06:28,852 --> 01:06:30,383 Who "are" they. 1773 01:06:30,385 --> 01:06:31,484 FOSTER: Hey, look, I said this earlier 1774 01:06:31,486 --> 01:06:32,885 and you guys laughed at me. 1775 01:06:32,887 --> 01:06:36,090 But I think it's the Mounties. They are shit people. Okay? 1776 01:06:36,092 --> 01:06:38,057 And they smoke Cubans cigars. We've seen that. 1777 01:06:38,059 --> 01:06:40,093 They're getting transferred to God knows where. 1778 01:06:40,095 --> 01:06:41,294 I mean, what do they have to lose? 1779 01:06:41,296 --> 01:06:44,664 I am starting to agree with Sherlock McSerpico over here. 1780 01:06:44,666 --> 01:06:46,099 - (CLAP ECHOES) - Ooh! 1781 01:06:46,101 --> 01:06:47,801 I'm telling you, fellas. 1782 01:06:47,803 --> 01:06:49,669 In my experience, it's always the local cops. 1783 01:06:49,671 --> 01:06:51,671 What would you guys give me if I kill that bird? 1784 01:06:51,673 --> 01:06:53,307 Farva, that's a Bald Eagle! 1785 01:06:53,309 --> 01:06:54,441 Get a wig, baldy! 1786 01:06:54,443 --> 01:06:57,443 (GUN FIRING) 1787 01:06:57,445 --> 01:06:59,180 - Yeah! - (EAGLE CAWING) 1788 01:06:59,182 --> 01:07:00,580 Put the goddamn gun down. 1789 01:07:00,582 --> 01:07:02,682 - What? - (EAGLE SCREECHES, WHIMPERS) 1790 01:07:02,684 --> 01:07:05,285 Oh, booyah! Guys, what do I win? 1791 01:07:05,287 --> 01:07:07,254 A one-way ticket to hell. 1792 01:07:07,256 --> 01:07:09,426 (MUSIC PLAYING) 1793 01:07:11,494 --> 01:07:12,559 (BLOWS RASPBERRY) 1794 01:07:12,561 --> 01:07:14,628 This place wishes it was Shenanigans. 1795 01:07:14,630 --> 01:07:16,064 Welcome to Chicanery's, eh! 1796 01:07:16,666 --> 01:07:17,798 Can I get you a booth? 1797 01:07:17,800 --> 01:07:20,233 Uh, no. We're meeting somebody here. 1798 01:07:20,235 --> 01:07:21,401 Oh, yeah, there he is. 1799 01:07:21,403 --> 01:07:23,836 ♪ I'll pay the rent ♪ 1800 01:07:23,838 --> 01:07:26,908 - Cap! - ♪ God knows I've done you wrong ♪ 1801 01:07:26,910 --> 01:07:28,774 MAC: Chief, we've been looking all over for you. 1802 01:07:28,776 --> 01:07:30,410 Cap, Cap, Cap, I think we've figured it out! 1803 01:07:30,412 --> 01:07:32,445 - ♪ Do you re... ♪ - Chief. I think we cracked the thing. 1804 01:07:32,447 --> 01:07:34,282 What are you doing? What are you doing? 1805 01:07:34,284 --> 01:07:35,414 I've been waiting here for an hour. 1806 01:07:35,416 --> 01:07:36,751 I think you're gonna want to know this. 1807 01:07:36,753 --> 01:07:38,553 - This is my song. - I know, but listen, I think we... 1808 01:07:38,555 --> 01:07:40,387 - I'm singing here. Sit the fuck down. - No, no, no. 1809 01:07:40,389 --> 01:07:41,555 I'm singing here. 1810 01:07:41,557 --> 01:07:43,459 I'm singing here. Sit the fuck down! 1811 01:07:46,262 --> 01:07:51,765 ♪ Bill Bailey, won't you please come home ♪ 1812 01:07:51,767 --> 01:07:53,334 What can I get for you guys? 1813 01:07:53,336 --> 01:07:55,936 Maybe a cold beer? Liter of cola? 1814 01:07:55,938 --> 01:07:57,137 What did you say? 1815 01:07:57,139 --> 01:07:58,271 Do you want a liter of cola? 1816 01:07:58,273 --> 01:07:59,640 You have that here? 1817 01:07:59,642 --> 01:08:01,075 Yeah, we got the Decaliter Delight. 1818 01:08:01,077 --> 01:08:03,376 You get a punch card, you rack up ten liters of cola, 1819 01:08:03,378 --> 01:08:04,544 get yourself a free dessert. 1820 01:08:04,546 --> 01:08:06,249 Bring them all. Bring them all right now. 1821 01:08:07,515 --> 01:08:09,216 Bring all ten liters and the punch card. 1822 01:08:09,218 --> 01:08:10,253 I want it all right now. 1823 01:08:12,387 --> 01:08:13,454 Come on. 1824 01:08:13,456 --> 01:08:14,988 Canada's pretty awesome. 1825 01:08:14,990 --> 01:08:17,190 - Boop boop. - Uh, don't do that. 1826 01:08:17,192 --> 01:08:19,929 - Boop beep boo boop beep. - (STUTTERS) Cut the crap. 1827 01:08:26,501 --> 01:08:28,601 - Genevieve? - (SIGHS) 1828 01:08:28,603 --> 01:08:32,006 I feel terrible about what I said to you. 1829 01:08:32,008 --> 01:08:34,041 I know I overreacted. 1830 01:08:34,043 --> 01:08:37,511 It's just the town is so upset about the turnover. 1831 01:08:37,513 --> 01:08:38,578 Sure. 1832 01:08:38,580 --> 01:08:40,680 Anyway, you are not a bad person. 1833 01:08:40,682 --> 01:08:42,483 Even if you are American. 1834 01:08:42,485 --> 01:08:43,851 (LAUGHS) 1835 01:08:43,853 --> 01:08:45,586 Well, I've actually been working on that for you. 1836 01:08:45,588 --> 01:08:46,720 - For me? - Yeah. 1837 01:08:46,722 --> 01:08:49,356 Moosehead. Canadian beer. 1838 01:08:49,358 --> 01:08:51,425 Beaver chili. Très Canadien. 1839 01:08:51,427 --> 01:08:52,592 (LAUGHS) 1840 01:08:52,594 --> 01:08:54,797 And I've been working on my French too. 1841 01:08:55,697 --> 01:08:57,465 - (ROMANTIC SONG PLAYING) - (GASPS) 1842 01:08:57,467 --> 01:09:00,133 Oh, I love this song! 1843 01:09:00,135 --> 01:09:04,270 Oh, it reminds me of summers on Etang de la Soupe Aux Pois. 1844 01:09:04,272 --> 01:09:06,174 (SINGING ALONG IN FRENCH) 1845 01:09:18,554 --> 01:09:21,355 Wow! That's very good. 1846 01:09:21,357 --> 01:09:23,556 Oh, I wouldn't say that, but, 1847 01:09:23,558 --> 01:09:24,824 I don't even know what it means. 1848 01:09:24,826 --> 01:09:28,564 It's a sad song about the Nazi Occupation of France. 1849 01:09:29,898 --> 01:09:31,230 Oh. 1850 01:09:31,232 --> 01:09:32,466 I'm sorry. I... 1851 01:09:32,468 --> 01:09:33,699 No. No, no. 1852 01:09:33,701 --> 01:09:35,336 It's about two lovers 1853 01:09:35,338 --> 01:09:38,672 trapped in a war that neither wanted, 1854 01:09:38,674 --> 01:09:41,711 but they love each other anyway. 1855 01:09:42,277 --> 01:09:43,444 Oh. 1856 01:09:43,446 --> 01:09:45,782 So much better. (CHUCKLES) 1857 01:09:48,250 --> 01:09:49,953 (SONG CONTINUES PLAYING) 1858 01:09:58,626 --> 01:10:00,228 - Is this really happening? - Oh, yes. 1859 01:10:02,063 --> 01:10:03,296 I love it. 1860 01:10:03,298 --> 01:10:04,765 (GENEVIEVE MOANING) 1861 01:10:04,767 --> 01:10:05,899 Wait, wait, wait. 1862 01:10:05,901 --> 01:10:08,001 - Where is the fat one's desk? - Right there. 1863 01:10:08,003 --> 01:10:09,168 Okay. 1864 01:10:09,170 --> 01:10:10,503 You don't know his name? 1865 01:10:10,505 --> 01:10:11,939 Flarvla. 1866 01:10:11,941 --> 01:10:13,876 (CHUCKLES) I smell a new nickname. 1867 01:10:14,576 --> 01:10:16,144 Guess we hurry. 1868 01:10:22,851 --> 01:10:24,950 Passive smuggling? It's brilliant. 1869 01:10:24,952 --> 01:10:26,252 And it's gotta be the Mounties. 1870 01:10:26,254 --> 01:10:27,154 - Why? - (SLURPING) 1871 01:10:27,156 --> 01:10:29,155 'Cause it's always the local cops. 1872 01:10:29,157 --> 01:10:30,222 Here's your punch card. 1873 01:10:30,224 --> 01:10:32,458 (PUNCHING) 1874 01:10:32,460 --> 01:10:34,694 Five, six, seven, eight. 1875 01:10:34,696 --> 01:10:37,030 Number nine. This is ten. 1876 01:10:37,032 --> 01:10:39,666 Technically, you have to drink all ten to get the dessert. 1877 01:10:39,668 --> 01:10:40,734 Oh, you challenging me? 1878 01:10:40,736 --> 01:10:42,101 This will be gone in three seconds. 1879 01:10:42,103 --> 01:10:44,105 I'll have the butter tart yule log. 1880 01:10:44,107 --> 01:10:45,940 Come on. Chop-chop! 1881 01:10:45,942 --> 01:10:47,844 MAC: Just do it, dude. 1882 01:10:50,211 --> 01:10:51,779 Canada! 1883 01:10:51,781 --> 01:10:53,079 And the beauty is, 1884 01:10:53,081 --> 01:10:54,748 there's nothing they can do with all that contraband, 1885 01:10:54,750 --> 01:10:56,583 until this land becomes America. 1886 01:10:56,585 --> 01:10:58,918 So all we have to do is push back the turnover, 1887 01:10:58,920 --> 01:11:00,753 until we can find the rest of the stuff. 1888 01:11:00,755 --> 01:11:02,021 O'HAGAN: Well, you heard LeFranc. 1889 01:11:02,023 --> 01:11:03,990 Who knows what's gonna happen with the turnover? 1890 01:11:03,992 --> 01:11:07,159 Whatever happens, we gotta solve this case. Now. 1891 01:11:07,161 --> 01:11:09,129 Let's take another look at that contraband. 1892 01:11:09,131 --> 01:11:11,597 - We may have missed something. - (SLURPING) 1893 01:11:11,599 --> 01:11:14,267 Hold on! I didn't get my free dessert. 1894 01:11:14,269 --> 01:11:15,334 Move it, Farva! 1895 01:11:15,336 --> 01:11:17,404 Come on! It's a fucki'' butter tart yule log! 1896 01:11:17,406 --> 01:11:19,573 O'HAGAN: Let's go! Now! 1897 01:11:19,575 --> 01:11:20,809 Damn it. 1898 01:11:23,211 --> 01:11:24,944 Oh! Whoa! Watch it, pal. 1899 01:11:24,946 --> 01:11:27,082 Walk faster, finger blaster. 1900 01:11:31,353 --> 01:11:33,055 (BOTH EXHALE) 1901 01:11:37,793 --> 01:11:39,793 Son of a... Rabbit! 1902 01:11:39,795 --> 01:11:40,894 MAC: Whoa! 1903 01:11:40,896 --> 01:11:42,895 Whoa! The booty's gone! 1904 01:11:42,897 --> 01:11:44,299 Did they take the Flova Scotia? 1905 01:11:45,433 --> 01:11:47,802 In addition to Rabbit! 1906 01:11:47,804 --> 01:11:50,002 Hold your bones. Rabbit's car. 1907 01:11:50,004 --> 01:11:52,004 The dash cam! Look at this. 1908 01:11:52,006 --> 01:11:53,641 Ooh, you clever little prick, you. 1909 01:11:53,643 --> 01:11:55,141 Prick? I'm tired of these putdowns! 1910 01:11:55,143 --> 01:11:56,709 It's a compliment, shithead. 1911 01:11:56,711 --> 01:11:59,081 Fuck you, midget Burt Reynolds. 1912 01:12:00,883 --> 01:12:02,919 - Mm. - Mm-mm. 1913 01:12:04,085 --> 01:12:06,319 MAC: (CHUCKLES) Oh, a little ménage à two. 1914 01:12:06,321 --> 01:12:07,957 FARVA AND MAC: Mm. 1915 01:12:08,823 --> 01:12:10,524 - MAC: Ah. - THORNY: Yeah, partner. 1916 01:12:10,526 --> 01:12:12,359 - (CHUCKLES) - (HOWLS) 1917 01:12:12,361 --> 01:12:14,595 Can you believe she picked Donnie Osmond over me? 1918 01:12:14,597 --> 01:12:16,762 - MAC: Yes. - I mean, is anyone else shocked here? 1919 01:12:16,764 --> 01:12:18,131 - No. - And on my desk? 1920 01:12:18,133 --> 01:12:20,566 O'HAGAN: Shut up, Farva. This is serious. 1921 01:12:20,568 --> 01:12:22,535 - ALL: Whoa! - What the fuck? 1922 01:12:22,537 --> 01:12:24,038 THORNY: Now how are we gonna find them? 1923 01:12:24,040 --> 01:12:26,640 All those iPhones had the same number. 1924 01:12:26,642 --> 01:12:28,641 Now, if we only had a triangulator, 1925 01:12:28,643 --> 01:12:29,878 we could locate them. 1926 01:12:31,012 --> 01:12:33,913 Aha! Take that, you bastards. 1927 01:12:33,915 --> 01:12:35,748 MAC: Those are the phones right there. 1928 01:12:35,750 --> 01:12:36,985 Enhance. 1929 01:12:37,987 --> 01:12:39,586 All right, but what is this place? 1930 01:12:39,588 --> 01:12:40,790 Enhance. 1931 01:12:42,424 --> 01:12:44,591 - Enhance. - Okay, okay. 1932 01:12:44,593 --> 01:12:46,427 FOSTER: "Sciere de la Vache." 1933 01:12:46,429 --> 01:12:48,561 All right, you guys speak French, what does that mean? 1934 01:12:48,563 --> 01:12:52,099 (SMACKS LIPS) I don't know what sciere means 1935 01:12:52,101 --> 01:12:54,135 and I also don't know what vache means. 1936 01:12:54,137 --> 01:12:56,535 THORNY: So you really don't understand anything? 1937 01:12:56,537 --> 01:12:57,872 Sciere de la Vache? 1938 01:12:57,874 --> 01:13:00,373 I believe it's "The Scary Vase". 1939 01:13:00,375 --> 01:13:02,909 MAC: Yeah, yeah. Let's see, sciere is "beetle". 1940 01:13:02,911 --> 01:13:04,977 - Beetle vase. No. Yes. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 1941 01:13:04,979 --> 01:13:08,248 But la vache is "angry". "Angry Beetle." 1942 01:13:08,250 --> 01:13:10,083 - Okay. - Yeah. Angry Beetle, we think. 1943 01:13:10,085 --> 01:13:13,220 It's "The Sawmill of the Cow", you idiots! 1944 01:13:13,222 --> 01:13:14,654 It's a sawmill! 1945 01:13:14,656 --> 01:13:17,690 - Why "Sawmill of the Cow"? No. - It doesn't make any sense. 1946 01:13:17,692 --> 01:13:19,793 Let's go and give those Canuckleheads 1947 01:13:19,795 --> 01:13:22,163 a good old-fashioned red-white-and-blue, 1948 01:13:22,165 --> 01:13:23,262 fist-fucking! 1949 01:13:23,264 --> 01:13:24,704 - (ALL CHEERING) - Yeah! Let's do it! 1950 01:13:26,635 --> 01:13:27,937 FARVA: Shotgun! Shotgun! Shotgun! 1951 01:13:28,237 --> 01:13:29,238 Whoa! 1952 01:13:29,571 --> 01:13:30,770 Shit. 1953 01:13:30,772 --> 01:13:33,373 (SIRENS WAILING) 1954 01:13:33,375 --> 01:13:37,243 ♪ You know you're always paying for the shit that's free ♪ 1955 01:13:37,245 --> 01:13:39,846 Hey, pull over. I gotta take a pee-ahs. 1956 01:13:39,848 --> 01:13:41,284 Shouldn't have drank all that soda. 1957 01:13:43,853 --> 01:13:45,084 You know, it just now occurred to me, 1958 01:13:45,086 --> 01:13:46,720 you and I have never been alone together before. 1959 01:13:46,722 --> 01:13:49,155 - Yeah, thank God. - (SCOFFS) 1960 01:13:49,157 --> 01:13:51,925 Seriously. Have we ever had a one-on-one conversation? 1961 01:13:51,927 --> 01:13:54,130 Why would we? You seem like a pretty boring dude. 1962 01:13:55,731 --> 01:13:57,998 You still banging that blonde cop, or... 1963 01:13:58,000 --> 01:14:01,401 ♪ You say you want to finish, but you never start ♪ 1964 01:14:01,403 --> 01:14:04,169 ♪ You want to get it finished but you just try hard ♪ 1965 01:14:04,171 --> 01:14:05,374 Where the hell are they going? 1966 01:14:07,041 --> 01:14:08,208 (MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING ON RADIO) 1967 01:14:08,210 --> 01:14:10,343 That was the turn, back there. 1968 01:14:10,345 --> 01:14:12,378 Are you sure? I don't think so. 1969 01:14:12,380 --> 01:14:14,480 Have you completely lost your sense of direction? 1970 01:14:14,482 --> 01:14:17,050 Well, your yelling at me certainly doesn't help! 1971 01:14:17,052 --> 01:14:18,517 Cap's right, Thorn. That was the turn. 1972 01:14:18,519 --> 01:14:21,120 Shut up, Mr. Perfect. 1973 01:14:21,122 --> 01:14:23,392 - MAC AND O'HAGAN: Whoa! - (TYRES SCREECHING) 1974 01:14:24,692 --> 01:14:28,061 ♪ To broke to pay attention, better get you some ♪ 1975 01:14:28,063 --> 01:14:31,530 ♪ When trouble's up, I double up on bubble gum ♪ 1976 01:14:31,532 --> 01:14:32,901 (MUSIC TURNS OFF) 1977 01:14:33,469 --> 01:14:34,537 (SIGHS) 1978 01:14:35,970 --> 01:14:37,540 - (SWITCH CLICKS) - (ROCK MUSIC RESUMES) 1979 01:14:40,275 --> 01:14:41,775 I saw that! 1980 01:14:41,777 --> 01:14:43,142 Where are those female sex pills? 1981 01:14:43,144 --> 01:14:44,077 Cap! 1982 01:14:44,079 --> 01:14:45,481 Give them me! Give them me! 1983 01:14:52,019 --> 01:14:53,222 - Thank you. - (SIGHS) 1984 01:15:08,237 --> 01:15:10,102 FOSTER: (WHISPERING) No sign of Rabbit. 1985 01:15:10,104 --> 01:15:12,705 But I got two Mountie cars... 1986 01:15:12,707 --> 01:15:15,608 and our contraband. 1987 01:15:15,610 --> 01:15:16,679 Where the hell's Farva? 1988 01:15:18,879 --> 01:15:20,615 Ah. I got him. 1989 01:15:21,616 --> 01:15:23,182 (FARVA SNEEZES AND FARTS) 1990 01:15:23,184 --> 01:15:26,252 FOSTER: He's like a walking hydrothermal explosion. 1991 01:15:26,254 --> 01:15:28,591 You want to see some fartography? 1992 01:15:30,724 --> 01:15:31,858 I'm still gonna go back 1993 01:15:31,860 --> 01:15:33,396 and get that butter tart yule log. 1994 01:15:34,329 --> 01:15:37,265 All right, boys. Let's milk this cow. 1995 01:15:43,371 --> 01:15:44,872 (KEYS JANGLING) 1996 01:15:44,874 --> 01:15:46,105 PODEIN: I moved this stuff the last time. 1997 01:15:46,107 --> 01:15:47,873 BELLEFUILLE: I don't want to lift it either. 1998 01:15:47,875 --> 01:15:49,109 PODEIN: You don't move anything. 1999 01:15:49,111 --> 01:15:51,380 You don't move your body, you don't move boxes. 2000 01:15:53,081 --> 01:15:54,616 (WHISPERING) One, two, three, go! 2001 01:15:59,155 --> 01:16:00,419 Alright freeze! You're under arrest! 2002 01:16:00,421 --> 01:16:02,789 Bullshit, eh! You're under arrest! 2003 01:16:02,791 --> 01:16:04,190 Bullshit, you fucking smugglers! 2004 01:16:04,192 --> 01:16:06,092 We're not the smugglers! You're the fucking smugglers. 2005 01:16:06,094 --> 01:16:07,159 We're not the fucking smugglers! 2006 01:16:07,161 --> 01:16:08,227 You're the fucking smugglers! 2007 01:16:08,229 --> 01:16:09,729 O'HAGAN: Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! 2008 01:16:09,731 --> 01:16:11,663 Everyone, lower your weapons! 2009 01:16:11,665 --> 01:16:12,632 Something's not right. 2010 01:16:12,634 --> 01:16:15,901 Wait, wait, wait. The old-timey one is right. 2011 01:16:15,903 --> 01:16:17,740 Something doesn't add up here. 2012 01:16:18,740 --> 01:16:20,205 - (GROWLS) - (GRUNTS) 2013 01:16:20,207 --> 01:16:22,376 - THORNY: Oh, shit! - Die, you fucking smuggler! 2014 01:16:22,378 --> 01:16:23,776 O'HAGAN: Farva, you idiot! 2015 01:16:23,778 --> 01:16:25,011 (CLAMORING) 2016 01:16:25,013 --> 01:16:27,047 Put the gun down! Put the gun down! 2017 01:16:27,049 --> 01:16:28,582 Fuck you. Fuck you. 2018 01:16:28,584 --> 01:16:29,449 Put down the fuckin' gun! 2019 01:16:29,451 --> 01:16:31,752 Drop the gun, I don't want to shoot! 2020 01:16:31,754 --> 01:16:33,319 You fuckin' Canadians! 2021 01:16:33,321 --> 01:16:34,387 Cool. 2022 01:16:34,389 --> 01:16:35,756 (BOTH WHIMPER) 2023 01:16:35,758 --> 01:16:37,226 What the fuck are you guys doing? 2024 01:16:37,858 --> 01:16:39,294 (LIGHTS SWITCH ON) 2025 01:16:40,763 --> 01:16:43,096 GUY: ♪ Blinded by the light ♪ 2026 01:16:43,098 --> 01:16:44,730 Apropos, right? 2027 01:16:44,732 --> 01:16:46,332 Go on, kill each other. 2028 01:16:46,334 --> 01:16:49,068 What ever happened to "Shoot first and ask questions later"? 2029 01:16:49,070 --> 01:16:50,671 Uh, what the shit, Guy? 2030 01:16:50,673 --> 01:16:53,138 Why you tell us these guys are the smuggler, huh? 2031 01:16:53,140 --> 01:16:54,675 Well, it's a lot smarter than telling you 2032 01:16:54,677 --> 01:16:56,008 that I'm the smuggler. 2033 01:16:56,010 --> 01:16:58,177 What do you mean, you're the smuggler? 2034 01:16:58,179 --> 01:17:00,879 I'm sorry, but what else was I gonna do? 2035 01:17:00,881 --> 01:17:03,048 Being the mayor of a small Canadian town 2036 01:17:03,050 --> 01:17:04,383 sounds romantic and cool. 2037 01:17:04,385 --> 01:17:06,218 Being the mayor of a small American town 2038 01:17:06,220 --> 01:17:08,555 sounds like you're a loser. For reals. 2039 01:17:08,557 --> 01:17:11,358 - (BOTH LAUGHING) - You got to admit it's a good scam. 2040 01:17:11,360 --> 01:17:12,892 All along the borderline. 2041 01:17:12,894 --> 01:17:14,194 But I never would've thought that 2042 01:17:14,196 --> 01:17:16,296 the guys from the Fred Savage incident, 2043 01:17:16,298 --> 01:17:18,231 would be the ones to trip me up. 2044 01:17:18,233 --> 01:17:20,266 These are the cops that killed Fred Savage? 2045 01:17:20,268 --> 01:17:21,467 Sadly. 2046 01:17:21,469 --> 01:17:26,105 But I will say, this little rivalry between police forces, 2047 01:17:26,107 --> 01:17:28,208 is the perfect opportunity to take you both out. 2048 01:17:28,210 --> 01:17:29,775 Well, now we're taking you in. 2049 01:17:29,777 --> 01:17:31,177 (CHUCKLES) I'm sorry. 2050 01:17:31,179 --> 01:17:33,312 But that's not the way it's going to go. 2051 01:17:33,314 --> 01:17:35,351 Henri, if you would be so kind. 2052 01:17:37,052 --> 01:17:38,752 - THORNY: No! - MAC: Oh, Jesus. 2053 01:17:38,754 --> 01:17:41,553 - FARVA: Holy shit! - And do pay attention to that man behind the curtain. 2054 01:17:41,555 --> 01:17:43,259 (MUFFLED WHIMPERING) 2055 01:17:46,528 --> 01:17:47,828 Your Rabbit wasn't quick enough. 2056 01:17:47,830 --> 01:17:50,230 Maybe next time, he'll hop a little faster, eh? 2057 01:17:50,232 --> 01:17:51,398 If anything happens to him, 2058 01:17:51,400 --> 01:17:53,432 I'm gonna fuck you six ways to Sunday! 2059 01:17:53,434 --> 01:17:57,136 Jeez Louise. Now I know who gobbled all my Flova Scotia. 2060 01:17:57,138 --> 01:17:58,538 (BOTH CHUCKLING) 2061 01:17:58,540 --> 01:18:00,873 So, drop your guns, 2062 01:18:00,875 --> 01:18:02,909 or the Rabbit and his girlfriend 2063 01:18:02,911 --> 01:18:06,846 will multiply in gruesome fashion. 2064 01:18:06,848 --> 01:18:07,849 I'm so sorry. 2065 01:18:09,183 --> 01:18:11,351 (MACHINE WHIRRING) 2066 01:18:11,353 --> 01:18:13,252 Let her go, Guy. She has nothing to do with this! 2067 01:18:13,254 --> 01:18:14,954 Well, if they put their guns down, 2068 01:18:14,956 --> 01:18:16,191 no harm will come to her. 2069 01:18:19,728 --> 01:18:20,729 Go on. Drop them. 2070 01:18:21,863 --> 01:18:23,698 (SOFTLY) Drop your guns. Drop it. 2071 01:18:27,469 --> 01:18:29,305 GUY: Now get those hands in the air. 2072 01:18:29,972 --> 01:18:31,173 Like you just don't care. 2073 01:18:33,642 --> 01:18:35,074 So, are you ready... 2074 01:18:35,076 --> 01:18:36,445 (STOMPS) 2075 01:18:38,914 --> 01:18:40,249 for the big twist? 2076 01:18:42,483 --> 01:18:43,682 (WHISTLES) 2077 01:18:43,684 --> 01:18:45,120 (SHUDDERING) 2078 01:18:48,890 --> 01:18:50,726 What the fuck? 2079 01:18:52,260 --> 01:18:54,396 What are you doing? What? 2080 01:18:55,263 --> 01:18:57,096 Shut the front door! 2081 01:18:57,098 --> 01:18:58,400 RABBIT: Genevieve. 2082 01:18:59,200 --> 01:19:00,566 What's going on here? 2083 01:19:00,568 --> 01:19:02,302 He'll kill me. Let me out of my chains. 2084 01:19:02,304 --> 01:19:04,703 What the fuck took you so long, Guy? 2085 01:19:04,705 --> 01:19:07,306 First I have to have his circumcised dick in me 2086 01:19:07,308 --> 01:19:09,108 and then you tie me to this log? 2087 01:19:09,110 --> 01:19:11,179 (SPEAKING FRENCH) 2088 01:19:12,915 --> 01:19:15,317 (SPEAKS FRENCH) 2089 01:19:18,821 --> 01:19:20,252 Are you fucking kidding me? 2090 01:19:20,254 --> 01:19:22,257 (BIDS GOOD-BYE IN FRENCH) 2091 01:19:23,023 --> 01:19:24,524 I hate you! 2092 01:19:24,526 --> 01:19:25,624 I hate you. 2093 01:19:25,626 --> 01:19:26,629 Shoot them. 2094 01:19:28,563 --> 01:19:29,695 Shoot them all. 2095 01:19:29,697 --> 01:19:30,865 With pleasure, boss. 2096 01:19:32,067 --> 01:19:33,233 FARVA: Hold on! 2097 01:19:33,235 --> 01:19:37,136 If I'm going down, I'm going down American! 2098 01:19:37,138 --> 01:19:41,408 ♪ Oh say can you sing ♪ 2099 01:19:41,410 --> 01:19:45,211 ♪ By the dawn's early fight ♪ 2100 01:19:45,213 --> 01:19:49,349 ♪ What so loudly we sail ♪ 2101 01:19:49,351 --> 01:19:53,252 ♪ At the nightlife on the street ♪ 2102 01:19:53,254 --> 01:19:57,190 ♪ And the red rocking chair ♪ 2103 01:19:57,192 --> 01:20:00,927 ♪ The bombs gasping for air ♪ 2104 01:20:00,929 --> 01:20:04,064 ♪ Gave proof in the life ♪ 2105 01:20:04,066 --> 01:20:05,568 All right, enough with that song. 2106 01:20:06,902 --> 01:20:07,967 Shoot them. 2107 01:20:07,969 --> 01:20:09,405 - (GUNSHOTS) - (GRUNTS) 2108 01:20:11,705 --> 01:20:13,441 (SCREAMING) 2109 01:20:16,111 --> 01:20:17,780 Hurry, it's about to slice my johnson! 2110 01:20:22,817 --> 01:20:23,882 This is not happening. 2111 01:20:23,884 --> 01:20:26,222 ♪ I got it right now, but I don't feel it ♪ 2112 01:20:28,223 --> 01:20:29,558 (WHIMPERING) 2113 01:20:30,959 --> 01:20:34,093 (♪ MUSIC ♪) 2114 01:20:34,095 --> 01:20:35,363 (THORNY YELLING) 2115 01:20:37,631 --> 01:20:39,731 That was a hell of a thing to do. 2116 01:20:39,733 --> 01:20:42,235 I guess my maternal instinct is kicking in. 2117 01:20:42,237 --> 01:20:45,105 ♪ Go real fast, I think you got it right now ♪ 2118 01:20:45,107 --> 01:20:46,638 - (BULLETS FIRING) - La vache. 2119 01:20:46,640 --> 01:20:47,807 What? 2120 01:20:47,809 --> 01:20:48,843 Shoot the cow. 2121 01:20:49,777 --> 01:20:50,778 Ah! 2122 01:20:51,812 --> 01:20:57,452 (♪ MUSIC ♪) 2123 01:20:58,518 --> 01:21:00,655 Damn it! I'm out of bullets! 2124 01:21:01,122 --> 01:21:02,388 I got one more! 2125 01:21:02,390 --> 01:21:03,592 Make it count! 2126 01:21:10,965 --> 01:21:12,300 Oh! 2127 01:21:12,701 --> 01:21:13,702 Ow. 2128 01:21:14,869 --> 01:21:16,401 (WHIMPERING) 2129 01:21:16,403 --> 01:21:18,504 - (GRUNTING) - (CHEERING) 2130 01:21:18,506 --> 01:21:19,939 Gotta love that 48th bullet. 2131 01:21:19,941 --> 01:21:21,841 (SPEAKS FRENCH) Drop it! Drop your weapon! 2132 01:21:21,843 --> 01:21:24,276 ARCHAMBAULT: Come on, get up from the dirt. 2133 01:21:24,278 --> 01:21:26,745 (SCREAMING) I'm about to get neutered! 2134 01:21:26,747 --> 01:21:27,846 Hang on! 2135 01:21:27,848 --> 01:21:29,582 Get this outta here! 2136 01:21:29,584 --> 01:21:31,754 (WHIMPERING) Get me off this! 2137 01:21:33,321 --> 01:21:34,654 I don't think so. 2138 01:21:34,656 --> 01:21:39,059 Okay. Now you've lit the fuse of the Halifax Explosion. 2139 01:21:39,061 --> 01:21:41,226 Yeah. In my day... 2140 01:21:41,228 --> 01:21:42,828 when your big boy teeth came in, 2141 01:21:42,830 --> 01:21:45,198 your hockey coach would pull them out... 2142 01:21:45,200 --> 01:21:46,466 so you wouldn't miss a shift. 2143 01:21:46,468 --> 01:21:48,534 Yeah? In my country, 2144 01:21:48,536 --> 01:21:50,636 we let the Tooth Fairy deal with that shit. 2145 01:21:50,638 --> 01:21:53,138 You would know all about fairies, wouldn't you? 2146 01:21:53,140 --> 01:21:54,340 Okay. Let's do this, moosefucker. 2147 01:21:54,342 --> 01:21:55,475 Yeah, you want to do it? 2148 01:21:55,477 --> 01:21:56,842 - You wanna go? - Yeah. Let's go. 2149 01:21:56,844 --> 01:21:59,712 - Yeah. You wanna go? You wanna go? - Yeah. I wanna go. 2150 01:21:59,714 --> 01:22:02,481 (GRUNTS) Ooh, clip-on. Little tacky, eh? 2151 01:22:02,483 --> 01:22:04,553 (BOTH GRUNTING) 2152 01:22:17,131 --> 01:22:18,364 Yeah! 2153 01:22:18,366 --> 01:22:19,899 That's one former hockey player 2154 01:22:19,901 --> 01:22:21,100 who can shut the puck up! 2155 01:22:21,102 --> 01:22:22,168 Right, guys? 2156 01:22:22,170 --> 01:22:23,535 (RABBIT WHIMPERING) 2157 01:22:23,537 --> 01:22:25,607 Shit, that was a good line. 2158 01:22:26,640 --> 01:22:28,641 - (RABBIT SCREAMING) - (BULLETS RICOCHETING) 2159 01:22:28,643 --> 01:22:30,443 O'HAGAN: Come on, damn it! 2160 01:22:30,445 --> 01:22:31,847 Oh, my God! 2161 01:22:33,514 --> 01:22:35,181 (PANICKED SHOUTING) 2162 01:22:35,183 --> 01:22:37,115 (ALL YELLING) 2163 01:22:37,117 --> 01:22:38,786 (RABBIT SCREAMING) 2164 01:22:41,522 --> 01:22:43,592 (ALL EXCLAIMING AND CHEERING) 2165 01:22:45,160 --> 01:22:46,758 MAC: That's great! That's great! 2166 01:22:46,760 --> 01:22:48,828 (IN CANADIAN ACCENT) What the hell is wrong with you guys? 2167 01:22:48,830 --> 01:22:50,997 It's like none of you Yanks ever operated 2168 01:22:50,999 --> 01:22:53,600 an industrial grade rotary timber saw, eh? 2169 01:22:53,602 --> 01:22:55,267 Hey! What about your accent? 2170 01:22:55,269 --> 01:23:00,071 Andrea Spooner, Ontario Provincial Police. 2171 01:23:00,073 --> 01:23:01,708 - What? - Shut up! 2172 01:23:01,710 --> 01:23:02,711 What? 2173 01:23:04,545 --> 01:23:06,111 - (RABBIT SCREAMING) - (ALL EXCLAIMING) 2174 01:23:06,113 --> 01:23:08,549 (SCREAMING CONTINUES) 2175 01:23:12,786 --> 01:23:15,520 GENEVIEVE: Why is the Vermont Highway Patrol even here? 2176 01:23:15,522 --> 01:23:18,024 I've been undercover three years. 2177 01:23:18,026 --> 01:23:19,124 Part of a task force... 2178 01:23:19,126 --> 01:23:20,493 with the Organized Crime Unit 2179 01:23:20,495 --> 01:23:22,395 of the Ontario Provincial Police. 2180 01:23:22,397 --> 01:23:23,829 She's down with OPP. 2181 01:23:23,831 --> 01:23:27,800 You assholes just blew three years of work for me. 2182 01:23:27,802 --> 01:23:29,502 I was this close to getting their supplier. 2183 01:23:29,504 --> 01:23:30,837 Now I'll never get them. 2184 01:23:30,839 --> 01:23:33,239 Well, I'm happy to offer you full cooperation of our... 2185 01:23:33,241 --> 01:23:34,643 Shut the fuck up! 2186 01:23:35,710 --> 01:23:37,276 Hm. 2187 01:23:37,278 --> 01:23:38,677 - Wow. - Wow. 2188 01:23:38,679 --> 01:23:40,713 GUY: Hey, guys, do me a solid, eh? 2189 01:23:40,715 --> 01:23:41,914 When you're sweeping up back there, 2190 01:23:41,916 --> 01:23:43,315 keep an eye out for my falsies. 2191 01:23:43,317 --> 01:23:45,284 Nah. You're not going to need teeth 2192 01:23:45,286 --> 01:23:46,452 where you're going, eh. 2193 01:23:46,454 --> 01:23:48,253 You were our hero, Guy. 2194 01:23:48,255 --> 01:23:49,989 An hockey player who owned a whorehouse. 2195 01:23:49,991 --> 01:23:51,623 Yeah, and to think you spent 11 years 2196 01:23:51,625 --> 01:23:52,958 in the Canadian system. 2197 01:23:52,960 --> 01:23:55,560 Newsy Lalonde would be rolling in his grave right now. 2198 01:23:55,562 --> 01:23:58,230 You would have fit in good in Calgary, eh. 2199 01:23:58,232 --> 01:23:59,931 Talk about a bunch of goon. 2200 01:23:59,933 --> 01:24:01,635 PODEIN: Especially that defenseman Bonchance. 2201 01:24:01,637 --> 01:24:03,002 That guy is the worst. 2202 01:24:03,004 --> 01:24:04,169 What a mucker, that guy, eh? 2203 01:24:04,171 --> 01:24:07,440 No, he end up in the QSPHL by the time he's 38. 2204 01:24:07,442 --> 01:24:09,044 Boring! 2205 01:24:09,678 --> 01:24:12,514 (GROANING) Easy! Easy! 2206 01:24:12,847 --> 01:24:14,114 Ah! Oh! 2207 01:24:14,116 --> 01:24:15,681 There he is! 2208 01:24:15,683 --> 01:24:17,516 They wrapped you in the Japanese flag. 2209 01:24:17,518 --> 01:24:19,517 (CONTINUES GROANING) 2210 01:24:19,519 --> 01:24:21,587 Hey, man, thanks for saving my life. 2211 01:24:21,589 --> 01:24:23,855 I don't know what I would have done without you. 2212 01:24:23,857 --> 01:24:26,124 Oh, that's okay, I don't need a hug. (GROANS) 2213 01:24:26,126 --> 01:24:27,562 It's not for you. 2214 01:24:30,264 --> 01:24:31,467 Okay. 2215 01:24:32,666 --> 01:24:35,504 RABBIT: (GROANING) Careful, careful, careful! 2216 01:24:40,207 --> 01:24:42,074 Dude, are you lactating? 2217 01:24:42,076 --> 01:24:45,944 I'm just doing what my body tells me to do, okay? 2218 01:24:45,946 --> 01:24:48,381 (CHUCKLES) Okay, Thorn. You're the tits! 2219 01:24:48,383 --> 01:24:49,949 Good luck with the wet T-shirt contest. 2220 01:24:49,951 --> 01:24:51,687 (BOTH LAUGHING) 2221 01:25:05,967 --> 01:25:07,102 Men. 2222 01:25:09,571 --> 01:25:10,904 How are ya feelin'? 2223 01:25:10,906 --> 01:25:12,571 Oh, it's okay. 2224 01:25:12,573 --> 01:25:15,041 I'm so sorry about saying "I hate you" back there. 2225 01:25:15,043 --> 01:25:17,409 Yeah. I know. I'm sorry I lied. 2226 01:25:17,411 --> 01:25:18,810 I just can't believe I didn't know. 2227 01:25:18,812 --> 01:25:21,717 Well, you were very sweet, but also very gullible. 2228 01:25:27,589 --> 01:25:29,455 Maybe you and I could get together 2229 01:25:29,457 --> 01:25:32,292 and listen to some old-timey French music... 2230 01:25:32,294 --> 01:25:34,360 when that gets all healed up. 2231 01:25:34,362 --> 01:25:35,597 Yeah, sure. 2232 01:25:39,299 --> 01:25:40,936 Fuckin' Canadian. 2233 01:25:42,103 --> 01:25:43,668 (CHUCKLES) 2234 01:25:43,670 --> 01:25:47,472 - Give me 50 cc's of morphine, shaving cream and a razor. - A razor for what? 2235 01:25:47,474 --> 01:25:49,042 To remove the hair from your testicles. 2236 01:25:49,044 --> 01:25:50,109 I have to stitch you up. 2237 01:25:50,111 --> 01:25:51,776 RABBIT: (STAMMERS) Why would you need to stitch me up? 2238 01:25:51,778 --> 01:25:53,046 It's like a paper cut. 2239 01:25:53,048 --> 01:25:55,047 All we need to do is get a little Band-Aid. Hey, guys! 2240 01:25:55,049 --> 01:25:56,181 Happy trails! 2241 01:25:56,183 --> 01:25:59,151 Looks like the rook's getting his nuts shaved after all. 2242 01:25:59,153 --> 01:26:01,022 (ALL LAUGHING) 2243 01:26:01,688 --> 01:26:03,758 (RABBIT SCREAMING) 2244 01:26:05,360 --> 01:26:07,493 - Who wants coffee? - Sounds good. 2245 01:26:07,495 --> 01:26:08,863 (HORN HONKS) 2246 01:26:14,235 --> 01:26:15,670 Captain O'Hagan! 2247 01:26:16,972 --> 01:26:19,972 I hear you and your men did some good work. 2248 01:26:19,974 --> 01:26:22,809 We did. We caught the smugglers. 2249 01:26:22,811 --> 01:26:23,876 Again. 2250 01:26:23,878 --> 01:26:25,310 (YELLS) 2251 01:26:25,312 --> 01:26:26,878 - (SCREAMING) - (SQUELCHING) 2252 01:26:26,880 --> 01:26:28,381 What the hell was that? 2253 01:26:28,383 --> 01:26:30,516 FARVA: Oh, shit. 2254 01:26:30,518 --> 01:26:32,020 (LAUGHING) 2255 01:26:33,454 --> 01:26:36,788 Done and done. (GROANING) 2256 01:26:36,790 --> 01:26:39,958 This little piggy cried, "God damn! That hurt!" 2257 01:26:39,960 --> 01:26:40,825 (LAUGHS) 2258 01:26:40,827 --> 01:26:42,529 What the hell happened to you? 2259 01:26:42,531 --> 01:26:44,497 Ah. I just lost a pussy bet. 2260 01:26:44,499 --> 01:26:46,164 If I "toed" ya, I'd have to kill ya. 2261 01:26:46,166 --> 01:26:47,400 (LAUGHS) Oh! 2262 01:26:47,402 --> 01:26:49,068 Watch the hoof! Ow! Watch the hoof! 2263 01:26:49,070 --> 01:26:50,403 - (STUN GUN CRACKLING) - (FARVA SCREAMING) 2264 01:26:50,405 --> 01:26:53,672 Officers! Cassandra Anne Gacek, Action Five News. 2265 01:26:53,674 --> 01:26:55,574 Given your involvement with this bust 2266 01:26:55,576 --> 01:26:56,842 how does it feel to know 2267 01:26:56,844 --> 01:26:58,613 that you are still being replaced? 2268 01:26:59,946 --> 01:27:04,784 Uh, you know, when they first arrive I am wondering: 2269 01:27:04,786 --> 01:27:06,318 "Who are these people 2270 01:27:06,320 --> 01:27:08,520 they come here taked our land?" 2271 01:27:08,522 --> 01:27:11,226 But then I have it, my answer, huh. 2272 01:27:13,995 --> 01:27:16,462 They are heroes. 2273 01:27:16,464 --> 01:27:17,863 CROWD: Aw! 2274 01:27:17,865 --> 01:27:22,168 These men... they putted their life on the line for us. 2275 01:27:22,170 --> 01:27:25,739 One of them, he even saved my life. 2276 01:27:25,741 --> 01:27:29,242 This tan guy here with the wet tits. 2277 01:27:29,244 --> 01:27:30,208 (CROWD LAUGHS) 2278 01:27:30,210 --> 01:27:33,178 - But we hate Americans! - I hear you. I hear you. 2279 01:27:33,180 --> 01:27:34,547 But I have to tell you... 2280 01:27:34,549 --> 01:27:36,516 if these gentlemen are an example 2281 01:27:36,518 --> 01:27:39,017 of what it means to be American... 2282 01:27:39,019 --> 01:27:39,952 I'm okay. 2283 01:27:39,954 --> 01:27:42,187 Then I am proud to be an American too. 2284 01:27:42,189 --> 01:27:45,257 - All right. - I am. I'm proud to be American. 2285 01:27:45,259 --> 01:27:47,627 So, we're leaving to start our station up north. 2286 01:27:47,629 --> 01:27:48,860 But I say with great confidence 2287 01:27:48,862 --> 01:27:50,096 that we couldn't leave you in better hands 2288 01:27:50,098 --> 01:27:53,666 than in those of the Vermont Highway Patrol. 2289 01:27:53,668 --> 01:27:55,970 (ALL CHEERING AND APPLAUDING) 2290 01:27:58,406 --> 01:28:01,408 How does it feel to be the coolest motherfucker on this planet? 2291 01:28:01,410 --> 01:28:04,310 You tell me, buddy. You tell me. 2292 01:28:04,312 --> 01:28:07,646 - (CAMERA SHUTTERS CLICKING) - CROWD: Aw. 2293 01:28:07,648 --> 01:28:09,950 JESSMAN: Uh, yeah. Excuse me. 2294 01:28:10,285 --> 01:28:11,318 Hold on. 2295 01:28:12,620 --> 01:28:14,787 Actually, I'm here to tell you 2296 01:28:14,789 --> 01:28:16,890 that the U.S. and Canadian governments 2297 01:28:16,892 --> 01:28:19,124 have decided to postpone the turnover 2298 01:28:19,126 --> 01:28:22,160 until the rest of the hidden contraband is found. 2299 01:28:22,162 --> 01:28:24,596 - (CROWD GASPS) - CASSANDRA: So, wait. 2300 01:28:24,598 --> 01:28:27,132 Are we Canadians or are we Americans? 2301 01:28:27,134 --> 01:28:29,767 You're still Canadians for now. 2302 01:28:29,769 --> 01:28:33,038 And that's going to continue indefinitely. 2303 01:28:33,040 --> 01:28:34,242 (IN CANADIAN ACCENT) Sorry. 2304 01:28:35,143 --> 01:28:37,012 (ALL CLAMORING) 2305 01:28:38,312 --> 01:28:41,948 Okay, so we are now in control of this area again, eh? 2306 01:28:41,950 --> 01:28:44,117 No, no. We both have authority. 2307 01:28:44,119 --> 01:28:45,685 You got the authority to go take 2308 01:28:45,687 --> 01:28:47,119 a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut. 2309 01:28:47,121 --> 01:28:49,154 Hey, we just saved your lives, you remember that? 2310 01:28:49,156 --> 01:28:50,788 BELLEFUILLE: We have an expression here. 2311 01:28:50,790 --> 01:28:52,958 It go, "What have you done for me lately?" 2312 01:28:52,960 --> 01:28:54,394 Yeah, maybe we'll haul your ass 2313 01:28:54,396 --> 01:28:55,560 back out to the woods naked. 2314 01:28:55,562 --> 01:28:58,596 Or maybe we could burn down your White House again! Eh? 2315 01:28:58,598 --> 01:28:59,931 What the hell does that mean? 2316 01:28:59,933 --> 01:29:02,702 The War of 1812, eh. Learn your history. 2317 01:29:02,704 --> 01:29:04,406 - (GRUNTS) - (ALL EXCLAIMING) 2318 01:29:06,174 --> 01:29:09,007 Oh! You punched the mustache right off his face! 2319 01:29:09,009 --> 01:29:11,711 No, no, no! Look, he's wearing a postiche, eh! 2320 01:29:11,713 --> 01:29:13,846 (ALL LAUGHING) 2321 01:29:13,848 --> 01:29:15,681 You shut up about his postiche, come on! 2322 01:29:15,683 --> 01:29:16,985 (ALL GRUNTING) 2323 01:29:18,753 --> 01:29:22,186 ♪ Well, she was, she was, she was ♪ 2324 01:29:22,188 --> 01:29:25,824 ♪ She was blinded by the light ♪ 2325 01:29:25,826 --> 01:29:27,426 ♪ Revved up like a deuce ♪ 2326 01:29:27,428 --> 01:29:29,729 ♪ Another runner in the night ♪ 2327 01:29:29,731 --> 01:29:32,931 ♪ Blinded by the light ♪ 2328 01:29:32,933 --> 01:29:34,766 ♪ Revved up like a deuce ♪ 2329 01:29:34,768 --> 01:29:36,836 ♪ Another runner in the night ♪ 2330 01:29:36,838 --> 01:29:40,071 ♪ Blinded by the light ♪ 2331 01:29:40,073 --> 01:29:41,574 ♪ Revved up like a... ♪ 2332 01:29:41,576 --> 01:29:42,778 (MUSIC STOPS) 2333 01:29:45,914 --> 01:29:47,154 - (CAT MEOWS) - What do you got? 2334 01:29:47,781 --> 01:29:48,814 Cat in a tree. 2335 01:29:48,816 --> 01:29:51,318 - (CAT MEOWS) - THORNY: Ah, yeah. 2336 01:29:51,952 --> 01:29:53,052 Hey, Fred Savage. 2337 01:29:53,054 --> 01:29:54,787 - How's it going? - Macintyre Womack. 2338 01:29:54,789 --> 01:29:56,189 Oh, pleasure to meet you, Officer. 2339 01:29:56,191 --> 01:29:56,954 Carl Foster. 2340 01:29:56,956 --> 01:29:58,457 Nice to meet you. Fred. 2341 01:29:58,459 --> 01:30:00,126 So, what's with the ride-along? You got a cop movie coming out? 2342 01:30:00,128 --> 01:30:02,293 Uh, no, it's actually a new show for the Syfy Channel. 2343 01:30:02,295 --> 01:30:05,832 Kind of a small-town alien invasion show called Vermonsters. 2344 01:30:05,834 --> 01:30:07,365 - ALL: Oh! - I'd see that. 2345 01:30:07,367 --> 01:30:08,801 So, do you guys spend a lot of time 2346 01:30:08,803 --> 01:30:10,435 getting, um, cats out of trees? 2347 01:30:10,437 --> 01:30:12,303 Is that kinda the job? 2348 01:30:12,305 --> 01:30:14,205 No, we get the call and then we call the Fire Department. 2349 01:30:14,207 --> 01:30:15,909 - They get the damn thing out. - Oh. 2350 01:30:15,911 --> 01:30:18,543 Could I actually trouble you for a quick selfie? 2351 01:30:18,545 --> 01:30:20,945 - (BOTH CHUCKLING) - I'm a big Princess Bride fan. 2352 01:30:20,947 --> 01:30:22,080 SAVAGE: Yes. My pleasure. 2353 01:30:22,082 --> 01:30:23,649 That was my "get laid movie" in high school. 2354 01:30:23,651 --> 01:30:25,184 Oh! You're welcome. 2355 01:30:25,186 --> 01:30:26,718 - MAC AND SAVAGE: Buttercup! - (CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS) 2356 01:30:26,720 --> 01:30:27,787 Holy shit! 2357 01:30:27,789 --> 01:30:28,686 - Did you get it? - MAC: Nailed it. 2358 01:30:28,688 --> 01:30:30,256 Fred fuckin' Savage, huh? 2359 01:30:30,258 --> 01:30:32,123 - Uh, yes. That's me. - He's right here! Look at him! 2360 01:30:32,125 --> 01:30:33,626 - Yeah, we know. - SAVAGE: How are ya? 2361 01:30:33,628 --> 01:30:34,927 You still with Winnie? 2362 01:30:34,929 --> 01:30:37,029 Uh, no, no. Just a... just a show, man. 2363 01:30:37,031 --> 01:30:39,164 - I call sloppy seconds! - Okay, great. 2364 01:30:39,166 --> 01:30:41,033 I think I'm gonna get the cat. I'm gonna get the cat. 2365 01:30:41,035 --> 01:30:42,400 Mr. Savage, we can't let you do that, 2366 01:30:42,402 --> 01:30:43,302 because, you know, well, 2367 01:30:43,304 --> 01:30:44,537 we're responsible for your safety. 2368 01:30:44,539 --> 01:30:46,105 Don't worry about it. I'm an expert climber. 2369 01:30:46,107 --> 01:30:47,873 Remember the movie Super Monkey? 2370 01:30:47,875 --> 01:30:49,242 ALL: Yeah. 2371 01:30:49,244 --> 01:30:50,542 I did all my own stunts in that movie. 2372 01:30:50,544 --> 01:30:51,642 I'm good with the trees. 2373 01:30:51,644 --> 01:30:52,744 - Okay. - (CAT MEOWS) 2374 01:30:52,746 --> 01:30:53,846 (GRUNTS) 2375 01:30:53,848 --> 01:30:56,414 Look at him go. Wow. 2376 01:30:56,416 --> 01:30:58,984 SAVAGE: I can see it! I got the cat. 2377 01:30:58,986 --> 01:31:00,586 Take it easy, Mr. Savage. 2378 01:31:00,588 --> 01:31:02,288 I thought Super Monkey sucked. 2379 01:31:02,290 --> 01:31:04,155 Yeah. And the monkeys were so fuckin' fake. 2380 01:31:04,157 --> 01:31:06,324 - A.O. Scott said the plot was bananas. - SAVAGE: Hey, buddy. 2381 01:31:06,326 --> 01:31:08,026 Hey, you know, I can hear you guys. 2382 01:31:08,028 --> 01:31:09,461 Alright, you should try acting in a movie 2383 01:31:09,463 --> 01:31:11,462 and doing your own stunts. It's really hard! 2384 01:31:11,464 --> 01:31:13,699 - (LAUGHS) Sure. - All right, don't be dicks. 2385 01:31:13,701 --> 01:31:15,266 - (BRANCHES SNAP) - (YELPS) 2386 01:31:15,268 --> 01:31:17,203 - (SAVAGE GROANING) - (ALL EXCLAIMING) 2387 01:31:17,205 --> 01:31:19,271 (THUDDING) 2388 01:31:19,273 --> 01:31:20,707 (YELLS, GRUNTS) 2389 01:31:20,709 --> 01:31:21,940 (EXHALES) Woo! 2390 01:31:21,942 --> 01:31:23,542 (ALL CHEERING) 2391 01:31:23,544 --> 01:31:24,743 Did you see that shit?! 2392 01:31:24,745 --> 01:31:25,810 (ALL LAUGH) 2393 01:31:25,812 --> 01:31:27,779 Any of you motherfuckers want some pussy? 2394 01:31:27,781 --> 01:31:29,548 - What's up?! - (ALL CHEER) 2395 01:31:29,550 --> 01:31:30,682 (HORN BLARES) 2396 01:31:30,684 --> 01:31:31,950 (ALL GASP) 2397 01:31:31,952 --> 01:31:34,155 (UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC PLAYING) 2398 01:31:52,773 --> 01:31:55,074 ♪ Madman drummers bummers ♪ 2399 01:31:55,076 --> 01:31:56,309 ♪ Indians in the summer ♪ 2400 01:31:56,311 --> 01:31:59,811 ♪ With a teenage diplomat ♪ 2401 01:31:59,813 --> 01:32:01,748 ♪ In the dumps with the mumps ♪ 2402 01:32:01,750 --> 01:32:03,349 ♪ As the adolescent pumps ♪ 2403 01:32:03,351 --> 01:32:06,586 ♪ His way into his hat ♪ 2404 01:32:06,588 --> 01:32:08,753 ♪ With a boulder on my shoulder ♪ 2405 01:32:08,755 --> 01:32:10,321 ♪ Feelin' kinda older ♪ 2406 01:32:10,323 --> 01:32:13,592 ♪ I tripped the merry-go-round ♪ 2407 01:32:13,594 --> 01:32:15,860 ♪ With this very unpleasin' ♪ 2408 01:32:15,862 --> 01:32:17,529 ♪ Sneezin' and wheezin' ♪ 2409 01:32:17,531 --> 01:32:21,201 ♪ The calliope crashed to the ground ♪ 2410 01:32:30,946 --> 01:32:34,180 ♪ The calliope crashed to the ground ♪ 2411 01:32:34,182 --> 01:32:38,650 ♪ Yeah, she was blinded by the light ♪ 2412 01:32:38,652 --> 01:32:40,351 ♪ Revved up like a deuce ♪ 2413 01:32:40,353 --> 01:32:42,355 ♪ Another runner in the night ♪ 2414 01:32:42,357 --> 01:32:45,757 ♪ Blinded by the light ♪ 2415 01:32:45,759 --> 01:32:47,391 ♪ Revved up like a deuce ♪ 2416 01:32:47,393 --> 01:32:49,694 ♪ Another runner in the night ♪ 2417 01:32:49,696 --> 01:32:52,830 ♪ Blinded by the light ♪ 2418 01:32:52,832 --> 01:32:54,565 ♪ Revved up like a deuce ♪ 2419 01:32:54,567 --> 01:32:56,769 ♪ Another runner in the night ♪ 2420 01:32:56,771 --> 01:33:00,108 ♪ Blinded by the light ♪ 2421 01:33:02,977 --> 01:33:05,410 ♪ Some silicone sister ♪ 2422 01:33:05,412 --> 01:33:07,378 ♪ With a manager mister ♪ 2423 01:33:07,380 --> 01:33:10,283 ♪ Told me I got what it takes ♪ 2424 01:33:10,285 --> 01:33:14,052 ♪ She said "I'll turn you on sonny to something strong ♪ 2425 01:33:14,054 --> 01:33:17,221 ♪ Play the song with the funky breaks" ♪ 2426 01:33:17,223 --> 01:33:19,324 ♪ And go-cart Mozart ♪ 2427 01:33:19,326 --> 01:33:21,459 ♪ Was checkin' out the weather chart ♪ 2428 01:33:21,461 --> 01:33:24,363 ♪ See if it was safe outside ♪ 2429 01:33:24,365 --> 01:33:28,300 ♪ And little early-pearly came by in his curly-wurly ♪ 2430 01:33:28,302 --> 01:33:32,206 ♪ And asked me if I needed a ride ♪ 2431 01:33:41,715 --> 01:33:44,617 ♪ The calliope crashed to the ground ♪ 2432 01:33:44,619 --> 01:33:49,187 ♪ Yeah, she was blinded by the light ♪ 2433 01:33:49,189 --> 01:33:50,955 ♪ Revved up like a deuce ♪ 2434 01:33:50,957 --> 01:33:53,159 ♪ Another runner in the night ♪ 2435 01:33:53,161 --> 01:33:56,364 ♪ Blinded by the light ♪ 2436 01:34:02,170 --> 01:34:04,404 JAY: (ON RADIO) You reach for your ticket book. 2437 01:34:04,406 --> 01:34:05,337 I got ya. Okay. 2438 01:34:05,339 --> 01:34:07,808 'Scuse me. Sorry. (CHUCKLES) Sorry. 2439 01:34:08,709 --> 01:34:10,309 (SPITS) 2440 01:34:10,311 --> 01:34:12,243 Don't worry about it. Hold that for me. 2441 01:34:12,245 --> 01:34:13,611 - JAY: Here we go. Ready? - Yeah. 2442 01:34:13,613 --> 01:34:16,015 (SPEAKING FRENCH) 2443 01:34:16,017 --> 01:34:17,552 (HORSE NEIGHS) 2444 01:34:18,853 --> 01:34:21,287 - (SPEAKING FRENCH) - (HORSE WHINNIES) 2445 01:34:21,289 --> 01:34:24,489 - (SPEAKING FRENCH) - (HORSE NICKERS) 2446 01:34:24,491 --> 01:34:27,226 - (SPEAKING FRENCH) Ooh! - (HORSE WHINNIES) 2447 01:34:27,228 --> 01:34:29,194 I can't believe it's a crime down in the U.S. 2448 01:34:29,196 --> 01:34:31,363 to drink beer and enjoy tits and dick. 2449 01:34:31,365 --> 01:34:34,533 I mean, beep beep! There's no harm there. 2450 01:34:34,535 --> 01:34:36,802 I mean... (IMITATES BUZZER) There's no harm there. 2451 01:34:36,804 --> 01:34:39,441 (IMITATING PUNCHING BAG) It's a good workout, eh. 2452 01:34:41,308 --> 01:34:42,908 JAY: Cut. I could do that all night. 2453 01:34:42,910 --> 01:34:44,877 - I know... - (ALL LAUGHING) 2454 01:34:44,879 --> 01:34:46,944 JAY: And action! 2455 01:34:46,946 --> 01:34:48,713 - Oh! - (ALL LAUGHING) 2456 01:34:48,715 --> 01:34:51,050 That's how easy it is. 2457 01:34:51,052 --> 01:34:52,717 Oh! Jesus Christ. Motherfucker. 2458 01:34:52,719 --> 01:34:55,788 What do we got, till lunch? We got till lunch? 2459 01:34:55,790 --> 01:34:56,855 - JAY: Action. - (BALLOON POPS) 2460 01:34:56,857 --> 01:34:58,091 - Oh! - (ALL LAUGH) 2461 01:34:58,093 --> 01:35:01,493 Which one of you guys has a, le, a le seniority? 2462 01:35:01,495 --> 01:35:03,561 (ALL LAUGHING) 2463 01:35:03,563 --> 01:35:05,467 (SPEAKING SPANISH) 2464 01:35:07,300 --> 01:35:09,435 JAY: You got to blow those cheeks out. 2465 01:35:09,437 --> 01:35:10,502 Okay. 2466 01:35:10,504 --> 01:35:14,138 I think I have some of your mustache in my mouth. 2467 01:35:14,140 --> 01:35:15,708 Where's your asshole? 2468 01:35:15,710 --> 01:35:18,377 STEVE LEMME: It's right about... right there. 2469 01:35:18,379 --> 01:35:19,811 Just follow the heat. 2470 01:35:19,813 --> 01:35:23,048 First you steal our job and now you sit here 2471 01:35:23,050 --> 01:35:24,783 getting a sensual massage from a chair 2472 01:35:24,785 --> 01:35:28,619 in the center of the mall with our women. 2473 01:35:28,621 --> 01:35:31,356 JAY: (LAUGHS) Can you shorten that? 2474 01:35:31,358 --> 01:35:33,158 No, that's the only way I can say it. 2475 01:35:33,160 --> 01:35:35,761 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Jeez Louise. 2476 01:35:35,763 --> 01:35:38,196 Now I know who gobbled up all my Lava Scotia. 2477 01:35:38,198 --> 01:35:39,364 JAY: Uh, Flova Scotia. 2478 01:35:39,366 --> 01:35:41,800 Now I know who gobbled up all my Flava Scotia. 2479 01:35:41,802 --> 01:35:43,903 - JAY: Uh, Flo, uh, Flova. - Flova. God damn it. 2480 01:35:43,905 --> 01:35:45,104 All my Flava Scotia. 2481 01:35:45,106 --> 01:35:47,273 - All my Flava Scotia. - JAY: (LAUGHING) Flova. 2482 01:35:47,275 --> 01:35:49,141 I'm gonna get it. Nova. Flova. 2483 01:35:49,143 --> 01:35:52,110 Now I know who gobbled up all my Flava Scotia. 2484 01:35:52,112 --> 01:35:54,079 - Close? - JAY: No. Not really. 2485 01:35:54,081 --> 01:35:56,280 (SHOUTING IN FRENCH) 2486 01:35:56,282 --> 01:35:58,484 What about this?! What about this, huh?! 2487 01:35:58,486 --> 01:36:00,084 Didn't we do that to like 2488 01:36:00,086 --> 01:36:01,886 a skinny blond guy with a big forehead? 2489 01:36:01,888 --> 01:36:02,988 Smelled like bacon? 2490 01:36:02,990 --> 01:36:04,623 Always yakking about Hot Pockets? 2491 01:36:04,625 --> 01:36:05,824 That was me. 2492 01:36:05,826 --> 01:36:07,959 You asked if I saw you 2493 01:36:07,961 --> 01:36:10,361 jumping around all mimbly bimbly... 2494 01:36:10,363 --> 01:36:11,963 You asked if I saw you 2495 01:36:11,965 --> 01:36:14,800 jumping around all nimby, ni... 2496 01:36:14,802 --> 01:36:16,668 All nibbily-bimbly. 2497 01:36:16,670 --> 01:36:18,537 Sorry, what... It's nimbly-bimbly. 2498 01:36:18,539 --> 01:36:20,506 - STEVE LEMME: Come on, Gaffigan! - (ALL LAUGHING) 2499 01:36:20,508 --> 01:36:24,142 - (GRUNTS) - Idiot. (GRUNTS) 2500 01:36:24,144 --> 01:36:29,315 Bon vivant bouillabaisse, croissant, le chicken cordon bleu? 2501 01:36:29,317 --> 01:36:31,749 JAY: Eh, that's a little much. 2502 01:36:31,751 --> 01:36:34,218 - This one says "Tiger Penis". - FARVA: Suck it! 2503 01:36:34,220 --> 01:36:36,887 - Shut up, Farva. - Sorry. It's just funny. 2504 01:36:36,889 --> 01:36:39,691 Eh... (STAMMERING) 2505 01:36:39,693 --> 01:36:41,360 (IN FRENCH ACCENT) What the shit, Guy? 2506 01:36:41,362 --> 01:36:42,694 Why you tell us they are the smuggler... 2507 01:36:42,696 --> 01:36:45,696 - Sorry, I'm sorry. - (ALL LAUGHING) 2508 01:36:45,698 --> 01:36:47,902 (CONTINUING IN FRENCH ACCENT) Uh... Eh... 2509 01:36:48,869 --> 01:36:51,168 All right. All right. Here we go, here we go. 2510 01:36:51,170 --> 01:36:52,837 - Just gotta find it. - Yeah, I got it. 2511 01:36:52,839 --> 01:36:54,575 Uh... 2512 01:36:55,576 --> 01:36:57,445 (ALL LAUGHING) 2513 01:36:58,077 --> 01:37:01,078 Uh... Eh... 2514 01:37:01,080 --> 01:37:03,748 Sorry. I'm totally... Okay, okay. 2515 01:37:03,750 --> 01:37:04,850 Hey, cut it. 2516 01:37:04,852 --> 01:37:06,586 (MAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY) 2517 01:37:06,588 --> 01:37:08,988 (ALL APPLAUDING) 2518 01:37:08,990 --> 01:37:12,591 ♪ She got down, but she never got tight ♪ 2519 01:37:12,593 --> 01:37:16,227 ♪ She's gonna make it ♪ 2520 01:37:16,229 --> 01:37:20,265 ♪ Through the night ♪ 2521 01:37:20,267 --> 01:37:21,803 (BLOWS RASPBERRY) 2522 01:37:35,214 --> 01:37:38,417 ♪ What a drag ♪ 2523 01:37:38,419 --> 01:37:42,924 ♪ Sittin' here at home on Saturday night ♪ 2524 01:37:44,157 --> 01:37:46,891 ♪ And I'm alone ♪ 2525 01:37:46,893 --> 01:37:51,562 ♪ Just staring at my phone trying to make it ring ♪ 2526 01:37:51,564 --> 01:37:54,498 ♪ Wish I had a friend ♪ 2527 01:37:54,500 --> 01:37:56,937 ♪ I can tell my jokes to ♪ 2528 01:37:59,874 --> 01:38:02,673 ♪ My truck ♪ 2529 01:38:02,675 --> 01:38:05,444 ♪ Is runnin' pretty rough ♪ 2530 01:38:05,446 --> 01:38:08,346 ♪ It don't matter much ♪ 2531 01:38:08,348 --> 01:38:11,684 ♪ I'm out of gas ♪ 2532 01:38:11,686 --> 01:38:16,320 ♪ If I had a tank, I'd take a ride ♪ 2533 01:38:16,322 --> 01:38:19,158 ♪ But I don't know where to ♪ 2534 01:38:19,160 --> 01:38:21,528 ♪ Great Saturday night ♪ 2535 01:38:24,397 --> 01:38:26,900 (VOCALIZING) 2536 01:38:33,374 --> 01:38:35,576 ♪ Saturday night ♪ 2537 01:38:38,112 --> 01:38:40,915 (VOCALIZING) 2538 01:38:46,920 --> 01:38:49,456 ♪ Saturday night ♪ 2539 01:39:00,397 --> 01:39:05,397 Subtitle By: GoldenBeard & Improved By: Fidel33 Sub Upload Date: July 9, 2018 2540 01:39:07,540 --> 01:39:10,344 (SONG PLAYING ON RADIO) 2541 01:39:11,112 --> 01:39:12,580 (SIGHS DEEPLY) 2542 01:39:16,784 --> 01:39:19,821 (WHIRRING) 2543 01:39:22,790 --> 01:39:23,791 (SIGHS) 2544 01:39:24,892 --> 01:39:26,494 (GULPING) 2545 01:39:28,195 --> 01:39:29,597 Mm-mm. 2545 01:39:30,305 --> 01:39:36,562 Please rate this subtitle at www.osdb.link/6fm44 Help other users to choose the best subtitles