I got it, I got it.
Just--
You're like a bee at a damn picnic, Marie.
Bzzz. Good morning.
Hey, buddy.
Ready to get your rocks on?
See? I knew it.
"Mineral show" is just some sort of guy code
for strip club.
Hey, you got any singles?
- Got it? - Yeah.
Yeah.
Don't let him get too crazy, okay?
Cram one more giant geode in here,
we'll be sleeping in the garage.
Got it. I got it.
I'm sorry.
Christ.
Longest week ever.
I just hope we get something good, you know?
Keep your fingers crossed.
Relax, buddy. This ain't no spy movie.
It's more like Rocky, you know?
♪ Chk-a bom bom bom♪
♪ Bom, chka-chka-chka-chka, bom bom bom♪
Get the bad guy!
♪ It's the eye of the tiger, it's the thrill of the fight♪
♪ Risin' up to keep 'em alive♪
Uhh!
What-- What-- But-- But-- What are you doing, buddy?
Leaving.
No, you got to go inside
and order something like last time
to avoid suspicion.
Besides, I want a vanilla shake.
We'll use the drive-through.
All right, baby. Let's see what we got.
What the hell?
Look at this. Bom, bom, bom, bom, bom.
That's work, that's home, that's work, that's home.
What, this guy goes two places every day all week?
It's unbelievable.
Chicken-slinging son of a bitch.
Hank, is it possible that...
maybe, just maybe...
he's not your guy?
Oh, a guy this clean's got to be dirty.
What's the play here, buddy?
How do I get this guy?
Yeah.
How?
Yes, hi.
I live on the 4900 block of Doswell Place,
and I want to report a very suspicious man
who's lurking in my neighborhood.
He's sitting in a blue Sedan,
and he-- He's been staring at a particular house
for a very long time.
Thank you. Thank you so much.
If you would, I would appreciate it.
All right.
So I guess we better get started.
I already did.
Yeah?
Hey, uh...
You got one of those for me?
One of those what?
Cigarette.
Like, it's still in there, all right?
I didn't get a chance yet.
Just give me one.
Hmm.
So what have you been up to?
What?
You know, just a day in the life.
What do you do after work?
Go home, watch TV.
What do you watch?
I don't know. Stuff.
Like what?
Like, uh...
Ice Road Truckers.
What happens on that one?
Guys drive on ice.
I am going to do it.
You got to inhale, by the way.
What the hell, man, don't you have enough cancer already?
Look, I said...I'd do it.
I'll do it.
Yeah, well, what does it matter?
We're both dead men anyway.
Hi.
Am I, uh, catching you at a bad time?
No, I have a few minutes.
So Mr. I'm Almost 16 So Leave Me Alone
doesn't want a big thing for his birthday.
He just wants to hang out with his friends,
which is fine by me. You?
Fine by me.
Okay. So I figured, uh,
low-key family dinner, no official party,
and we bite the bullet and...
buy him a car--
Uh, used, I was thinking, would be best.
But no more than five years old.
Air bags, safety rated, all that.
Do you, um, have any thoughts
on what kind,
or should I just go ahead and--
Yeah. No, you just go ahead.
Okay.
Listen. On another subject,
I just wanted to tell you that
business is good.
Really good.
So good that I'm thinking maybe...
you don't even need to work your second job.
You're turning a profit?
We're coming close.
Give us another month or two,
and, uh, yeah, we'll be there.
All of this to say
maybe you could start thinking about an exit strategy.
I'm working on it.
Okay.
Hello.
Hey, buddy. Wake you?
No, Hank, I'm up.
Oh, good. Uh, what you doing?
I'm, uh...
Hey, listen, I-I'll cut to it.
I got another favor to ask.
I've been thinking about this Gus Fring, right?
How he never goes anywhere,
one restaurant, home, one restaurant, home,
back and forth back and forth?
Which, now I'm even more convinced
is bullshit, because the man owns
13 other restaurants, right?
So I started thinking about this little empire of his, right?
Fourteen restaurants. Who supplies them?
What's the base of operations?
So I do a little diggin', and bingo!
Pollos Hermanos has a main distribution center.
Uh... It's not far from town.
The place is huge. I mean--
I'm looking at it online right now.
I tell you, it's a big warehouse
and rows of these long poultry buildings,
or hatcheries, or whatever you call 'em.
Lots of space to hide illicit activity.
Sounds promising, right?
Huh.
So. Whaddya say, buddy?
Got another field trip in you?
Uhh...
You know, Hank. Um...
I mean, it sounds great.
It really does. But I--
You know, I won't lie, uh--
You caught me... somewhat...
indisposed.
What do you mean, like taking a dump indisposed?
Yeah. That's--
Embarrassingly, that's it.
You know, it's just...
upset stomach, you know, and everything...
- Yeah. - It's out of control.
Really explosive.
Bad Tex-Mex.
- At the mall. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I get it. You don't have to paint me a picture.
Probably one guy in a diaper is enough for this trip anyway.
Yeah. I'm sorry, Hank.
Hey, don't be.
I've been asking a lot of you lately.
I appreciate it.
I'll find another ride for this one.
Another ride?
Yeah. I'm sure I can get someone else to take me.
Uh, my trainer, Chuck.
Maybe I'll ask him.
Look, I'm-- I'm--
This is probably just a 24-hour thing.
Maybe 48 hours, at the most.
And, um...
Do you think you could possibly hold off
for a day or two?
Aw, jeez, buddy. I mean, I-- You know--
You know, I just--
I would just really...
love to be the one to be able to--
to take you there, and--
I mean, I have just really enjoyed, you know,
the time with you,
- and helping you. - Well, yeah.
Okay, sure. If it means that much to you.
Just, you know, give me a call
when you're feeling up to it, all right?
Thank you. I will. Okay.
Bye.
- Yeah. - Uh, Mike.
Listen. I just want to say, first off,
don't be angry.
What is it, Walter?
My brother-in-law,
My DEA-- He--
Soon, he will probably,
in the near future, take a ride out to
a certain distribution center,
to look around for things.
Look around for things. And... Yeah.
Uh.
Mike?
- Where's this all going? - Elsewhere.
You're all set.
Thank you. Please give this to your car care professional.
So. A hand wax for you today?
Okay. Great.
Please give this to your car care professional.
And the black Explorer?
Well, of course we could shampoo your floor mats, but really,
deluxe detailing is the best bang for your buck.
Oh, and SUVs are extra.
And please give this to your car care professional.
Thank you!
Please give this to your car care professional.
Hey, Sky.
Oh, my God. Ted.
What are you, uh--
Someone from the office, uh,
said you worked down here, so I thought I'd...
come down and say hi.
Wow. Well, uh...
Hello.
You look great.
No. I'm gonna like--
I probably just look crazed.
Not at all. You look happy.
Last time I saw you--
Hi, there.
Uh, thing is,
Skyler, um,
I really need to talk to you.
Ted,
I really don't think we have anything to talk about.
Actually, we do.
An audit?
Wait, an audit tomorrow?
How long have you had this?
Awhile. I'd...
debated, you know, contacting you.
Contact me? What about a lawyer? Ted--
Ted, this is--
This is the CID.
The Criminal Division.
My God, you facing a felony charge here.
$100,000 fine on top of the taxes
you already owe, plus
five years in prison!
Yeah. It's bad.
Yeah. It most certainly is.
Look, here's the thing.
I was wondering, maybe, if um,
there's some way you could help with this.
Help? Help how?
Well, with your knowledge of how the books
got the way they are, maybe there's some way
you could, uh,
undo what's in there.
You want me to uncook your books?
Maybe there's some method, or some accounting trick
- you could, you know, use-- - Ted.
It doesn't work like that.
The damage is already--
My name. My signatures
are all over those books.
Skyler, I'm accountable, not you.
Let me explain what's gonna happen here, okay?
Once the CID sees this as willful tax fraud,
there are going to build the strongest possible case
against you, and once they start down that path,
they have an 80% conviction rate.
That's because they're allowed to monitor your mail,
and tap your phones-- and not just you, Ted.
Everyone involved in those books.
I can't have this in my life.
I cannot be audited.
Skyler, you-- you--
You're going to be fine, okay? They're after me.
It's the captain they want, not some cashier at a car wash.
No offense. I'm sorry.
I, uh,
I don't want you to worry, okay?
I'm gonna figure out a way through this.
Somehow. Okay?
Here.
Right here.
So is he gonna kill him?
Is who gonna kill who?
Gus.
Is he gonna kill Mr. White's brother-in-law?
I mean, he's the reason for all this here, right?
Because it's totally logical for him to off the dude.
A-hole DEA agent,
pokin' around your junk--
Who needs that, right?
Makes sense to get rid of him...
for good.
But killing a cop--
I don't know.
It could look suspicious if, uh,
the dude who's investigating you
suddenly up and dies.
Then there's-- There's Mr. White.
Who'd be even more ape shit
if he had family getting murdered.
He'd never cook for Gus again.
Guess there's a lot of angles to consider.
If something were to happen to the man,
would you have a problem with that?
Who really cares what I think?
Son of a bitch!
You get comfortable, kid. We may be here a while.
- Hey. - Get down!
Sí.
- Should I even ask? - I wouldn't.
So what? Is this going to be a regular thing now?
Meth cooking and corpse disposal? Jesus.
Just grab us a spare barrel, Walter.
What was it this time?
What did this poor bastard do to piss off Gus?
Or did Gus just need to send another message?
Shut your mouth.
You shut your mouth, or I'll shut it for you.
I don't want you talking to me or Jesse.
Just get the barrel.
And if you ever plan on calling the cops
on one of my guys again,
you go ahead and get two barrels.
Yo, like, uh,
I guess I never thanked you for
what you did.
Thanks.
Next time, don't stand there like an idiot.
Move your feet, run and so forth.
But seriously, what--
What was the deal with Gus?
- The deal? - The Terminator shit?
Walking right into the bullets?
What the hell was he doing?
The cartel needs Gus.
His distribution network.
They're not looking to kill him.
But what? The rest of us are like, open season?
Is he doing anything about that?
Or do we just keep hanging out
for target practice while he's--
Kid.
Enough. You got questions,
ask him yourself.
And here again. Unreported income.
That's more than a year straight so far.
Do you want to say something about this?
Because I'm having a hard time figuring it out.
Well, I-- I'd have to, um,
have a look at the copies of the receipts
to refresh my memory.
Take all the time you need, Mr. Beneke.
That's why we're here.
Oh, I am so sorry I am late.
I got lost.
- Hey, Ted. - Sky.
Whoo!
This building is so confusing.
There are doors everywhere.
Hi. You are--
Special Agent James Bekaris.
Ooh. Special.
Skyler White.
Ms. White. You are the accountant
of record for many of these reports.
- Is that correct? - Guilty as charged.
Well then, perhaps you can shed some light
on this history of missing revenue.
Missing? Uh-huh.
- No, it's there. - No.
Revenue most definitely flowed through this company.
But it's not all accounted for in your reports.
Huh!
Hmm, let's take a look.
Hmm. Oh.
Well, you know, this account here?
That is Mr. Keller's account,
and Mr. Keller's an old friend of Ted's dad,
and he always sends an electronic payment,
which personally I hate,
because I'm a real paper person,
but Mr. Keller's one of those environmental people.
So anyway, since there wasn't a physical check,
I didn't enter it into the book, but...
the money's there.
Ms. White, you've read Section 61 of the IRC?
I... did not follow what you just said.
How gross income for a business is defined.
- You're not allowed to do that. - Well, I think I am.
No, you're not.
Well, you know what they say about opinions, right?
Everyone's got one.
But seriously, I am.
Look, it doesn't matter if its an electronic check
or a paper check, income is income.
You're not allowed to not declare it.
When I input everything into the Quicken,
nothing flashed red, so that's gotta mean
it's okay, right?
Quicken. Uh-huh.
You used Quicken to manage books
for a business this size.
I did. Oh, do you guys use that here?
'Cause it is the best.
It's like having a calculator on your computer. Amazing.
Ms. White, how did you get this job?
- Oh, Ted hired me. - No.
I mean your qualifications.
What are your qualifications?
Where did you get your training?
Ooh, well I haven't had any training per se,
I've always been naturally good with numbers.
Got a good instinct for them.
Right, Teddy?
Right.
This is all falling into place now.
Ms. White, I just have to ask.
You're not managing accounts anywhere else, are you?
Right now? No.
I'm a cashier at a car wash.
I'm not really clear about what happened in there.
What happened is good news.
Ignorance of the law does not equate to criminality.
It equates to ignorance.
Look, pay your back taxes, pay the penalties,
and move on from this. Just put it behind you.
Pay with what?
I owe them $617,000.
- What am I-- - Look, just figure it out.
All right? You just dodged prison.
Sell your assets. Get rid of the BMW,
take out a second mortgage on your house.
Take a mortgage? I have a lien on my house.
I don't have any assets. There are no assets
- left to sell. - Ted.
If you don't pay them, they will reopen the investigation.
And that little fiction I just spun up there
will completely unravel.
You have to settle.
Wish I could.
Come in.
I hope you brought an appetite.
Yeah. I guess.
Mike mentioned you have some questions.
Yeah.
We'll eat first. And then we'll talk.
Right on.
What am I doing here?
I know you have concerns.
What happened yesterday
to my man at the farm--
It was a terrible thing.
Oh, the dude getting his head blown off? Yeah.
I have invited you into my home,
prepared food,
so we could sit and talk.
Discuss what's going on in this business,
our business, like men.
And I will explain everything that's happening.
I will answer your questions.
But first, I need you...
to answer one question for me.
Can you cook Walter's formula?
What?
Walter's formula.
Can you produce this product?
Without any help, alone?
No.
Why?
You asking me if I can cook Mr. White's crystal?
Without him? Me?
The junkie loser you were about to waste
and dump in the desert a month ago?
This is your plan, huh?
Invite me in your house, make whatever this is,
be my buddy and-- And make me feel
important,
then get me to keep cooking for you
after you kill Mr. White.
You want to-- You want to talk like men?
Let's talk like men!
You kill Mr. White, you're gonna have to kill me too.
That is not what I asked you.
You are here
because circumstances with the cartel are untenable.
And I need your help.
I need you to help prevent an all-out war.
Now, if you would,
answer the question.
Hey, you, uh-- You headed out?
Yeah.
Yo, Mr. White. Hey, uh,
I really got to talk to you. I-- I don't know
if you're with your family or whatever,
but this is important, so I'm hoping
you could come over.
Thank God. Come on in.
You uh-- You want a beer?
- Or something? - No.
- Should I sit down? - Oh, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, sorry. Go ahead.
Okay, so, um--
Okay. So...
word has come down that they--
They want me to go to Mexico.
There's some sort of war brewing
between Gus and the cartel.
"Word has come down?"
Yeah, the cartel has been messing with Gus's operation.
Like jacking trucks to like, send a message,
and you know, yesterday, that dude
we brought to the lab?
I mean, they shot him right in front of me.
Just blew his head open.
Some sniper nailed him from like a mile away.
Anyway, they've been holding them off,
but between the cartel taking pot shots
and your brother-in-law trying to throw a net
over the whole deal, it's like, what do you call,
a rock and a hard place situation.
So Gus is gonna cave.
So the cartel wants half
of Gus' entire operation, and they want
your formula, and he's gonna give it to them.
Well, I-- I gotta give it to them.
I mean, I'm supposed to go to Mexico
and teach a bunch of cartel chemists
how to cook a batch of blue.
You know, Gus doesn't trust you, so...
I gotta go-- I mean, you're the chemist, man!
You know, not me.
Let's say I go down
to, you know, go over there, go to the jungle
or-- Or whatever.
You know, and say they got, like, actual chemists,
like cartel chemists, asking me chemistry stuff
that I don't know how to answer because I'm not you?
And what if, like, all the equipment
is uh, is in Mexican, instead of English?
You know? Oh!
I don't know. I don't know.
I mean, if I mess this up,
I am dead, you know?
All of us!
So I-- Look, I-- I need your help.
Okay, maybe you could--
Maybe you could, like, coach me
or something, you know?
Or you can give me some notes.
Mr. White.
So you saw Gus?
What? No.
You didn't see Gus. No.
Then who told you all of that?
It was passed down, like I said.
Passed down?
By whom?
By, uh... By Mike and them.
They did. They--
So "they" doesn't include Gus.
You haven't been with Gus.
You haven't seen Gus. You haven't spoken to Gus.
Why are you...
You weren't at Gus's house last night.
What?
What the hell?
J-Jesus--
It's still here.
- It's still here. - Oh, Jesus.
You look me in the eye and you tell me
that you weren't at his house last night.
I, um...
Look, I didn't have a chance.
All right?
Okay, I knew you would react this way.
I knew you would freak out
and wouldn't believe me--
That's why I didn't say anything.
Look, there was just this one big pot of stew, okay?
He just made this one big pot,
and we both ate from it-- What was I supposed to do?
Huh? Poison myself?
Two hours and 18 minutes,
and you couldn't figure out a way to give it to him.
- He never left the room! - You lying little shit!
You had one thing to do!
One thing! That is the only thing, I might add,
that would save our lives.
Right there. You were in his house!
And you didn't have the guts to do it.
Two hours and 18 minutes?
You never had any intention of killing him, did you?
How did you know I was at his house last night?
Were you following me?
This. This is how I knew.
You bugged my car?
7:10 to 9:28 p.m.
Two hours and 18 minutes,
but you had no intentions, did you?
Not the slightest intention.
Everything that I have done for you--
You put a bug on my car?
I'm sorry. After everything you've done for me?
What you've done for me?
You've killed me is what you've done.
You've signed my death warrant.
And now you want advice?
All right, I'll give you advice.
Go to Mexico and screw up, like I know you will,
and wind up in a barrel somewhere!
Oh, God!
Can you walk?
Yeah.
You get the fuck out of here and never come back.
Ohh!