1 00:00:06,825 --> 00:00:07,814 And we're back. 2 00:00:22,596 --> 00:00:26,560 ♪ I said oh my, I don't know why ♪ 3 00:00:26,561 --> 00:00:30,208 ♪ I was just busy watching everyone go by ♪ 4 00:00:30,209 --> 00:00:34,077 ♪ She got my number, though I can't stand her ♪ 5 00:00:34,078 --> 00:00:37,959 ♪ I can't help diggin her a hope I guess I wonder ♪ 6 00:00:37,960 --> 00:00:42,160 ♪ And oh it's clear, you want me dear ♪ 7 00:00:42,255 --> 00:00:47,989 Welcome students, new and old, to another fall semester at Greendale. 8 00:00:48,194 --> 00:00:50,924 It's time for clean slates and fresh starts. 9 00:00:51,831 --> 00:00:53,822 Celebrate your fresh start tonight 10 00:00:54,033 --> 00:00:56,831 at the Fresh-Start Dance in the cafeteria. 11 00:00:57,036 --> 00:01:01,132 The same cafeteria where Britta Perry, publicly professed her love to Jeff Winger 12 00:01:01,340 --> 00:01:04,070 who then walked out on her. Unforgettable. 13 00:01:04,277 --> 00:01:06,802 Plus, free punch and fresh start cookies 14 00:01:07,013 --> 00:01:09,811 tonight, at the Fresh-Start Dance. 15 00:01:10,016 --> 00:01:13,008 Look at us, living together, driving to school together. 16 00:01:13,066 --> 00:01:15,660 I know, we're like Batman and Shaft. 17 00:01:16,022 --> 00:01:18,490 Batman actually had a guy. His name was Robin. 18 00:01:18,691 --> 00:01:19,988 He rode around with him. 19 00:01:20,193 --> 00:01:22,718 Troy, Batman's friend didn't have to be Robin, 20 00:01:22,742 --> 00:01:26,473 he could have been Shaft, Dolemite, Leroy Brown. 21 00:01:26,866 --> 00:01:29,232 Don't let society limit your people. 22 00:01:31,070 --> 00:01:34,398 "Batman and Shaft", wow. You're reading Troy's Twitter's page where 23 00:01:34,407 --> 00:01:38,472 - he posts everything Pierce says? - Yeah, "Old white man says"? It's hilarious. 24 00:01:40,146 --> 00:01:42,046 Hey. Hello, Annie. 25 00:01:42,248 --> 00:01:44,113 I like your hair. Thank you, Abed. 26 00:01:44,349 --> 00:01:46,442 - You're welcome. - Oh, Jeffrey. Hello. 27 00:01:46,555 --> 00:01:48,880 Hey! how was your summer? I live with you. 28 00:01:48,955 --> 00:01:51,048 - How was your summer? - Great. How are you doing? 29 00:01:51,257 --> 00:01:53,521 - Oh, okay. - Hey. 30 00:01:54,794 --> 00:01:56,694 - It's good to be back here. - I know. 31 00:01:56,896 --> 00:01:58,261 Okay. 32 00:01:58,464 --> 00:02:01,997 So... are you guys ready for whatever Anthropology is? 33 00:02:02,034 --> 00:02:03,296 We should wait for Britta. 34 00:02:03,416 --> 00:02:07,147 Do we know she's coming back? She never returned any of my calls or e-mails. 35 00:02:07,359 --> 00:02:08,792 Me neither. 36 00:02:09,242 --> 00:02:11,608 It's not gonna be the same without her. 37 00:02:14,647 --> 00:02:16,405 Hey, did you guys see Toy Story 3? 38 00:02:16,415 --> 00:02:18,406 - Yes. - Oh, I loved Toy Story 3. 39 00:02:18,618 --> 00:02:20,586 - It was amazing, I love... - Hey! 40 00:02:20,713 --> 00:02:22,180 - Whoa! - Oh! 41 00:02:22,455 --> 00:02:25,913 - Hey, Toy Story... Britta. - How's it going? 42 00:02:26,158 --> 00:02:29,821 Okay, yeah, yeah. I made an ass of myself and Jeff at that dance. 43 00:02:29,947 --> 00:02:33,375 I was caught up in a competition with his turd of an ex-girlfriend, 44 00:02:33,432 --> 00:02:35,706 and I wish I could erase the entire night. 45 00:02:35,707 --> 00:02:38,496 - And I owe you an apology. - I accept. 46 00:02:38,497 --> 00:02:42,192 Oh, sweetie, you don't owe us anything and you don't have to hide from us. 47 00:02:42,233 --> 00:02:46,301 You? I'm hiding from them. It's like high school all over again. 48 00:02:46,612 --> 00:02:48,739 Psycho Britta, the walking freak show 49 00:02:48,948 --> 00:02:51,174 for every Barbie with a Cosmo subscription. 50 00:02:51,175 --> 00:02:56,212 Look, I don't mean to be a tool, but you embarrassed me that night too, so call it karma. 51 00:02:56,989 --> 00:03:00,588 Wow, boy, I hope I'm not around when you do mean to be a tool. 52 00:03:00,726 --> 00:03:04,287 Let's just put this behind us and just walk to class, okay? 53 00:03:04,864 --> 00:03:06,354 - Yeah. - Yeah. 54 00:03:09,635 --> 00:03:12,263 - You're Britta Perry? - Yeah, what's it to you? 55 00:03:12,505 --> 00:03:14,973 You're the coolest. 56 00:03:15,207 --> 00:03:16,606 Right. Um... 57 00:03:16,809 --> 00:03:18,003 At what exactly? 58 00:03:18,244 --> 00:03:22,010 Being fearless, honest, speaking from your heart. 59 00:03:22,214 --> 00:03:25,650 - "Jeff Winger, I love you". - Right. 60 00:03:25,885 --> 00:03:28,615 - My heart may have overstated... - Do you sign stuff? 61 00:03:28,736 --> 00:03:30,226 - Now and again. - Awesome. 62 00:03:30,368 --> 00:03:32,302 I don't like where that's going. 63 00:03:32,692 --> 00:03:34,489 I know, right? 64 00:03:35,628 --> 00:03:37,323 Look... 65 00:03:38,397 --> 00:03:41,366 uhm, remember the little talk we had? 66 00:03:41,634 --> 00:03:44,070 The one about discretion? Yes. Stop that. 67 00:03:44,071 --> 00:03:46,903 Look, uhm, we agreed you and I kissing was a mistake. 68 00:03:47,006 --> 00:03:50,169 And, if anyone were to find out about it, I would be tarred, feathered, 69 00:03:50,259 --> 00:03:53,387 and put on one of those websites people check when buying a house. 70 00:03:53,426 --> 00:03:57,021 It's forgotten, Jeff. Jeez, I'm not some love-struck teenybopper. 71 00:03:57,516 --> 00:03:59,707 But you should know, we didn't just kiss, we technically frenched. 72 00:03:59,719 --> 00:04:02,916 I checked the make-out meter in this month's issue of... 73 00:04:03,155 --> 00:04:05,214 National Review. 74 00:04:09,395 --> 00:04:11,226 I don't like where that's going. 75 00:04:11,506 --> 00:04:16,006 Community 2x01 - Anthropology 101 76 00:04:16,007 --> 00:04:20,507 Sync and corrected by vNaru www.addic7ed.com 77 00:04:40,760 --> 00:04:44,589 Señor Chang. Oh, wait, I guess it's not señor anymore. 78 00:04:44,597 --> 00:04:46,656 What should we call you? Student Chang? 79 00:04:46,866 --> 00:04:48,299 Two-credits-into- a-music-major Chang? 80 00:04:48,501 --> 00:04:51,265 Ok, how about not calling me anything? 81 00:04:51,504 --> 00:04:54,473 Why are you guys in this class? We chose it together. 82 00:04:54,707 --> 00:04:56,937 The real question is, why are you in it? 83 00:04:57,143 --> 00:04:59,470 - Oh, you missed us? - Oh! 84 00:04:59,512 --> 00:05:02,970 Don't flatter yourself. Ok, have you checked out the course description? 85 00:05:03,021 --> 00:05:08,084 Ancient weaponry? Genital mutilation? This subject's talking my Chang-uage. 86 00:05:08,521 --> 00:05:09,713 Ugh. 87 00:05:18,597 --> 00:05:19,621 I don't get it. 88 00:05:19,832 --> 00:05:22,626 Well, Star-Burns has grown reliant on his star-shaped sideburns, 89 00:05:22,635 --> 00:05:25,402 but still craves identity beyond them, so he added a hat. 90 00:05:25,491 --> 00:05:28,756 No, what's up with Britta-mania? Oh, that's even simpler. 91 00:05:29,008 --> 00:05:32,138 In the eyes of the public, Britta put herself out there and you walked away, 92 00:05:32,178 --> 00:05:34,271 making her the underdog, the GLT, the Aniston. 93 00:05:34,480 --> 00:05:36,343 - That's ridiculous. - Yeah. 94 00:05:36,344 --> 00:05:38,976 Hey Jeff, do you have any hillbilly cousins? I wish, why? 95 00:05:39,056 --> 00:05:42,321 What about a wealthy uncle, or and old drinking buddy, that may or may not have had a sex change? 96 00:05:42,569 --> 00:05:45,510 Abed, why are you mining my life for sitcom scenarios? 97 00:05:45,511 --> 00:05:48,036 I guess I'm just excited about the new year, looking for ways to improve things. 98 00:05:48,068 --> 00:05:50,152 I'm hoping we can move away from the soapy relationship-y stuff, 99 00:05:50,155 --> 00:05:52,879 and into bigger fast-paced, self-contained escapades. 100 00:05:52,950 --> 00:05:57,079 What is it exactly that separates man from animal? 101 00:05:57,369 --> 00:05:58,597 Divorce? 102 00:06:09,715 --> 00:06:13,014 Tools. Like this blowgun I used to hunt monkeys 103 00:06:13,219 --> 00:06:15,016 with the Korubo in the Amazon. 104 00:06:15,688 --> 00:06:17,622 My name is Professor June Bauer, 105 00:06:17,857 --> 00:06:22,084 and this semester I will guide you to the very threshold of your humanity, 106 00:06:22,161 --> 00:06:25,653 where you will lock eyes with the shrieking, blood-drenched, 107 00:06:25,865 --> 00:06:29,665 sister-raping beasts from which we sprang. 108 00:06:29,869 --> 00:06:31,996 You will also have to make a diorama. 109 00:06:33,051 --> 00:06:36,520 For your first assignment, I would like you to form tribes 110 00:06:36,675 --> 00:06:41,135 of no more than eight, and if you can, mix up the races. 111 00:06:41,347 --> 00:06:44,339 Or you'll be surprised at how quickly things get awkward. 112 00:06:47,419 --> 00:06:50,521 You know, now that Troy's off the streets and living with me, 113 00:06:50,522 --> 00:06:52,487 he's learning so much about the world. 114 00:06:52,525 --> 00:06:55,517 Yeah. Tell me again why Jewish people wear yarmulkes. 115 00:06:55,761 --> 00:06:57,888 Half a hat, saves money. 116 00:06:58,464 --> 00:07:00,159 Thank you. 117 00:07:00,399 --> 00:07:03,698 "Half a hat"? That is so offensive. 118 00:07:03,903 --> 00:07:05,734 I love Old White Man Says . 119 00:07:05,938 --> 00:07:08,470 Hey, find an eighth dork for your tribe of dorks? 120 00:07:08,474 --> 00:07:10,608 Chang, I'm starting to think you took Anthropology, 121 00:07:10,609 --> 00:07:13,402 because you wanna be in our group, but are too proud to ask. 122 00:07:13,403 --> 00:07:14,997 What?! Keep dreaming, Winger. 123 00:07:15,186 --> 00:07:18,578 Would somebody with too much pride... do this? 124 00:07:18,751 --> 00:07:22,050 Current balance: $23.20. 125 00:07:22,254 --> 00:07:24,916 Consider yourself Chang'd. 126 00:07:26,625 --> 00:07:27,853 Mac and cheese, please. 127 00:07:29,061 --> 00:07:31,757 Sorry, looks like your food just walked out on you. 128 00:07:31,997 --> 00:07:33,760 Same way you did Britta. 129 00:07:39,805 --> 00:07:41,739 Hey, can we talk? 130 00:07:41,974 --> 00:07:46,070 Oh, now he wants to talk. No, it's fine, I'll be right back. 131 00:07:47,313 --> 00:07:51,615 Man, you got some real passionate fans. Eh. It'll blow over. 132 00:07:51,616 --> 00:07:54,278 Well, would you mind, uhm, helping it blow over? 133 00:07:54,620 --> 00:07:56,952 My stock is kind of plummeting around here. 134 00:07:57,156 --> 00:08:01,422 Oh, I don't mean to sound like a tool, but maybe it's karma. 135 00:08:01,627 --> 00:08:04,255 Britta I know you're excited to finally be popular with women, 136 00:08:04,321 --> 00:08:06,755 but don't get too high on your own drama. 137 00:08:07,099 --> 00:08:10,125 High on my own drama?! 138 00:08:12,938 --> 00:08:14,398 People's champion. 139 00:08:15,440 --> 00:08:18,170 Sorry, man, I gotta go where the heat is. 140 00:08:18,544 --> 00:08:20,603 Jeff Winger, you're a jerk. 141 00:08:22,448 --> 00:08:24,575 She's turned every woman on campus against me. 142 00:08:24,817 --> 00:08:27,843 Well, not every woman. Certainly not the one that deserves to be with you. 143 00:08:28,053 --> 00:08:30,847 Annie, all women deserve to be with me, and vice versa. 144 00:08:30,856 --> 00:08:33,235 Granted, but who doesn't eventually settle down? 145 00:08:33,236 --> 00:08:36,535 I don't, and I never will. And if I did... 146 00:08:38,564 --> 00:08:40,532 If I did, 147 00:08:41,967 --> 00:08:44,026 I could beat Britta at her own game. 148 00:08:45,504 --> 00:08:49,463 Oh, good. Yeah, you better take a hike. 149 00:08:49,808 --> 00:08:52,402 Do you know where the cleanest bathroom is? 150 00:08:52,945 --> 00:08:55,140 - Teacher's lounge. - Thank you. 151 00:08:55,681 --> 00:08:57,774 Don't be shy, come on up, have a sip. 152 00:08:58,017 --> 00:09:01,509 The yogi of India swear by its restorative powers. 153 00:09:02,988 --> 00:09:07,152 Okay, more of my urine for me. 154 00:09:07,393 --> 00:09:09,122 Now, for your tribe's assignment. 155 00:09:09,728 --> 00:09:13,061 This box contains nine different tools, 156 00:09:13,256 --> 00:09:16,282 all of them important to humanity's survival. 157 00:09:16,602 --> 00:09:20,368 One of them, is the most important of all. 158 00:09:20,572 --> 00:09:26,477 Your tribe's assignment for tomorrow is to tell me which tool that is. 159 00:09:26,679 --> 00:09:29,011 Questions? I have a question. 160 00:09:29,248 --> 00:09:31,079 But not for you. 161 00:09:31,283 --> 00:09:32,716 It's for Britta. 162 00:09:35,087 --> 00:09:36,520 Britta. 163 00:09:37,623 --> 00:09:38,749 I love you. 164 00:09:42,739 --> 00:09:46,538 Now I know this puts you in an awkwardly powerful position, 165 00:09:46,632 --> 00:09:49,256 but I have to know, right now, in front of everyone. 166 00:09:49,624 --> 00:09:51,717 Do you love me too? 167 00:09:54,640 --> 00:09:58,576 More than anything in the world. 168 00:10:00,312 --> 00:10:01,870 - Really? - Yeah. 169 00:10:02,715 --> 00:10:06,981 - So it begins. - Hmm. 170 00:10:07,920 --> 00:10:11,913 The greatest relationship ever known. 171 00:10:22,134 --> 00:10:24,398 This is making me sick. 172 00:10:28,440 --> 00:10:31,807 - I'm gonna love you forever. - Good, I'm gonna love you forever. 173 00:10:31,970 --> 00:10:35,133 - I don't believe you. - Why, don't you want me to? 174 00:10:35,447 --> 00:10:37,415 No, I do. Bring it. 175 00:10:38,751 --> 00:10:40,651 Doesn't it make you wanna cry? 176 00:10:40,853 --> 00:10:43,048 Something like that. Excuse me. 177 00:10:43,288 --> 00:10:45,729 I downloaded a song that makes me think of you. 178 00:10:45,730 --> 00:10:49,166 Let's listen to it, each using one ear bud. 179 00:10:51,532 --> 00:10:53,080 Shirley, would you consider spinning off with me? 180 00:10:53,655 --> 00:10:55,755 Just riffing, but we could open a hair salon together. 181 00:10:55,801 --> 00:10:58,235 I don't understand. Is this you being meta? 182 00:10:58,437 --> 00:11:01,985 I wanted to come out of the gate having adventures, like paintball. This is boring. 183 00:11:01,986 --> 00:11:05,143 Well, I think that's selfish, Abed. If you were a friend to Jeff and Britta, 184 00:11:05,144 --> 00:11:07,942 you would see their relationship as an adventure. 185 00:11:08,523 --> 00:11:12,619 I hadn't thought about it that way. Oh! Look at how they walk. 186 00:11:15,418 --> 00:11:19,745 Clearly, the most important tool to a tribe's survival is here. The cross, representing Christianity. 187 00:11:19,825 --> 00:11:21,452 It's an ax. It's an ax? 188 00:11:21,693 --> 00:11:25,459 Maybe the telescope. Look through it backwards. Shrink your enemies. 189 00:11:25,618 --> 00:11:28,383 I'll show you the tool that's most important to our survival, 190 00:11:28,384 --> 00:11:31,509 but fair warning, it's my penis. 191 00:11:38,844 --> 00:11:40,004 Old White Man. 192 00:11:40,212 --> 00:11:42,806 Sorry I'm late. I was in my car loving Britta. 193 00:11:47,319 --> 00:11:50,420 - I guess I just love you too much. - Not half as much as me. 194 00:11:50,422 --> 00:11:53,296 - Aww. - Jeff, do you think you'll marry Britta? 195 00:11:53,297 --> 00:11:56,591 - I'd like to see someone stop me. - I just peed a little. 196 00:11:57,729 --> 00:11:59,788 - Then here, propose. - Oh. 197 00:12:04,770 --> 00:12:09,036 I got it, I got it, got it. Jeff Winger, will you marry me? 198 00:12:09,241 --> 00:12:10,868 Yeah, of course. 199 00:12:11,677 --> 00:12:14,368 No problem. Perfect, I'll be right back. 200 00:12:16,582 --> 00:12:19,364 Thank the Lord, you're getting married. I was so worried about your souls, 201 00:12:19,365 --> 00:12:22,061 ever since you had pre-marital sex on the table. 202 00:12:23,422 --> 00:12:25,253 Oh! 203 00:12:25,457 --> 00:12:26,583 Awesome. 204 00:12:26,792 --> 00:12:29,460 - You told Shirley? - Well, there's no need for secrecy now. 205 00:12:29,461 --> 00:12:30,763 It was during the paintball game. 206 00:12:30,764 --> 00:12:33,358 Was there anything you didn't win that day? 207 00:12:34,867 --> 00:12:36,061 Oh, my God! 208 00:12:36,802 --> 00:12:39,498 You slept with her and then kissed me? 209 00:12:39,705 --> 00:12:40,729 What? 210 00:12:43,976 --> 00:12:48,003 ♪ Now they're in so deep. ♪ 211 00:12:48,213 --> 00:12:52,547 ♪ You know she's such a fool for him. ♪ 212 00:12:52,751 --> 00:12:57,347 ♪ She has a ring around her finger, ♪ 213 00:12:57,556 --> 00:13:00,024 ♪ and Abed hired an Irish singer. ♪ 214 00:13:00,225 --> 00:13:04,982 ♪ Britta's marrying, Britta's marrying Britta's marrying Jeffrey Winger ♪ 215 00:13:04,983 --> 00:13:08,177 - What the hell is this? - A wedding, episode. 216 00:13:08,233 --> 00:13:10,463 - Abed, there's no wedding. - Cold feet? 217 00:13:10,702 --> 00:13:12,897 Talk it over with your best man, George Clooney. 218 00:13:13,105 --> 00:13:14,801 - What's up? - He's a George Clooney impersonator, 219 00:13:14,803 --> 00:13:17,464 - but still razzle-dazzle, right? - Abed? 220 00:13:17,509 --> 00:13:19,067 Hmm? 221 00:13:19,912 --> 00:13:21,602 - Jeff made out with Annie. - What? 222 00:13:21,613 --> 00:13:23,307 - When? Where? - Yeah, where? 223 00:13:23,308 --> 00:13:25,833 That's inappropriate. I'm assuming on the mouth. 224 00:13:25,911 --> 00:13:27,903 - It was after the Transfer Dance. - Oh! 225 00:13:27,992 --> 00:13:32,592 So I tell you that I love you, and then you go outside and stick your tongue into a teenager? 226 00:13:32,658 --> 00:13:34,387 What is wrong with you, Jeffrey? 227 00:13:34,593 --> 00:13:39,628 Well Shirley, since you have clearly failed to grasp the central insipid metaphor 228 00:13:39,631 --> 00:13:42,911 of those Twilight books you devour, let me explain it to you. 229 00:13:42,912 --> 00:13:46,245 Men are monsters who crave young flesh. The end. 230 00:13:46,338 --> 00:13:49,166 At least we have the decency to be ashamed of it and keep it a secret, 231 00:13:49,174 --> 00:13:53,003 instead of publicly blurting I love you to everyone who sleeps with us. 232 00:13:53,011 --> 00:13:56,610 Oh, please, I never loved you. Ah-ha! 233 00:13:56,615 --> 00:14:00,114 I win, I win, I win. In your face. 234 00:14:00,118 --> 00:14:01,483 So this was all a game? 235 00:14:01,753 --> 00:14:04,134 Everything they do is some sick competition. 236 00:14:04,135 --> 00:14:06,235 Oh... like you hate competition. 237 00:14:06,258 --> 00:14:09,615 How long did it take you to kiss Jeff after I told him I loved him? 238 00:14:09,616 --> 00:14:11,979 Oh, that's right. First Vaughn, now Jeff. 239 00:14:12,030 --> 00:14:15,761 I better not smile at that wall outlet or you'll fry your tongue off! 240 00:14:15,968 --> 00:14:17,575 Way to hog all the girls, Jeff. 241 00:14:17,576 --> 00:14:21,273 You know, when there's three sprinkle doughnuts, you don't eat one and then lick another. 242 00:14:21,416 --> 00:14:23,904 Anyone object to us being referred to as doughnuts? No one? 243 00:14:23,905 --> 00:14:26,571 I'm sorry we can't all be as honorable as you Troy. 244 00:14:26,622 --> 00:14:28,988 And post Pierce quotes all day on Twitter. 245 00:14:29,348 --> 00:14:32,977 Wow, is that your lame attempt to try and pass the hot seat to me? 246 00:14:33,185 --> 00:14:36,120 - Nice try. - Wait, I'm Old White Man Says? 247 00:14:36,321 --> 00:14:38,721 No wonder he says everything I'm thinking. 248 00:14:38,924 --> 00:14:41,051 You bastard. 249 00:14:41,560 --> 00:14:43,221 I'm just sharing what you say. 250 00:14:43,428 --> 00:14:46,192 Yeah, well, what if I shared all the stuff you say? 251 00:14:46,398 --> 00:14:48,968 He thinks all dogs are boys and all cats are girls. 252 00:14:48,969 --> 00:14:52,461 There's no way to disprove that. Have you ever seen a cat penis? 253 00:14:52,748 --> 00:14:54,313 Where are you going? 254 00:14:54,606 --> 00:14:57,871 By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you canceled. 255 00:14:58,076 --> 00:15:01,019 Oh, good. Yeah Abed, cancel us. And while you're at it, 256 00:15:01,020 --> 00:15:04,820 why don't you take your cutesy "I can't tell life from TV" gimmick with you? 257 00:15:04,950 --> 00:15:06,781 You know, it's very "season one". 258 00:15:12,224 --> 00:15:13,851 I can tell life from TV, Jeff. 259 00:15:14,059 --> 00:15:18,758 TV makes sense, it has structure, logic, rules, and likable leading men. 260 00:15:18,964 --> 00:15:21,228 In life we have this. 261 00:15:21,566 --> 00:15:22,794 We have you. 262 00:15:30,680 --> 00:15:33,590 I'm on the clock for another hour if you want me to do some Batman lines. 263 00:15:53,169 --> 00:15:56,361 - Not sitting with your little group? - The group is done. 264 00:15:56,372 --> 00:16:00,099 Yeah, well, missionary accomplished, right? 265 00:16:00,668 --> 00:16:04,197 What does that mean? Come on, I know you and Britta did it. 266 00:16:04,280 --> 00:16:06,880 Isn't the whole reason you got together with those people? 267 00:16:06,883 --> 00:16:09,078 Because you wanted to bang the blond? 268 00:16:09,285 --> 00:16:11,913 Now I hear that you Frenched the brunette. 269 00:16:12,121 --> 00:16:15,420 What more could you have gotten out of that group? 270 00:16:16,092 --> 00:16:17,457 Good morning, class. 271 00:16:17,693 --> 00:16:21,356 Let's dive in and hear the results of your assignment. 272 00:16:21,564 --> 00:16:22,792 Who wants to go first? 273 00:16:24,066 --> 00:16:27,111 I don't know, Mr. Winger, the last time I called on you, 274 00:16:27,112 --> 00:16:30,638 I kind of got what the Maku-Maku call "dirt-roaded." 275 00:16:30,985 --> 00:16:32,546 Using it. 276 00:16:32,575 --> 00:16:34,543 Yeah, I'm sorry about that. 277 00:16:36,846 --> 00:16:37,972 It was a trick question. 278 00:16:38,781 --> 00:16:41,839 The tool most important to humanity's survival 279 00:16:41,840 --> 00:16:44,104 wasn't any of the nine in the box. 280 00:16:45,121 --> 00:16:46,383 Go on. 281 00:16:46,589 --> 00:16:49,883 The most important tool is respect. 282 00:16:49,926 --> 00:16:52,417 Ha! Gay. 283 00:16:53,321 --> 00:16:55,516 And the reason I know respect is a tool, 284 00:16:55,723 --> 00:16:59,124 is because it is clearly not a natural thing 285 00:16:59,327 --> 00:17:01,488 and we forget to use it all the time. 286 00:17:01,696 --> 00:17:05,322 And then we start competing with each other, and exploiting each other, 287 00:17:05,323 --> 00:17:08,486 and humiliating each other, and controlling each other. 288 00:17:09,170 --> 00:17:10,398 And we lose each other. 289 00:17:11,773 --> 00:17:15,004 And without each other, we'll go extinct. 290 00:17:16,210 --> 00:17:17,268 And that's a fact. 291 00:17:17,478 --> 00:17:19,002 Heh. A gay fact. 292 00:17:19,213 --> 00:17:20,703 That's my answer, professor. 293 00:17:21,549 --> 00:17:22,811 Hmm. 294 00:17:25,086 --> 00:17:27,179 Well, that's one answer. 295 00:17:27,388 --> 00:17:29,322 Here's the one I had in mind. 296 00:17:29,524 --> 00:17:35,520 Combining all nine tools, you get this, 297 00:17:35,763 --> 00:17:39,221 a deadlier weapon than any one item in the box. 298 00:17:39,467 --> 00:17:42,527 So, I'm gonna use this to attack you, 299 00:17:42,770 --> 00:17:46,171 and you use respect to defend yourself. 300 00:17:46,407 --> 00:17:47,567 Uh... Oh... Uh... 301 00:17:52,847 --> 00:17:54,508 - Oh, my God. - Jeffrey. 302 00:17:54,715 --> 00:17:57,240 I respect you. 303 00:17:57,485 --> 00:18:00,010 That's why you fail. 304 00:18:02,223 --> 00:18:04,088 - Oh, my God. - Jeffrey. 305 00:18:04,759 --> 00:18:06,886 He's passing out. 306 00:18:07,728 --> 00:18:09,457 Stay with us, buddy. 307 00:18:11,632 --> 00:18:12,713 - Hello. - Oh, thank God. 308 00:18:12,714 --> 00:18:13,414 Hello Jeffrey. 309 00:18:13,501 --> 00:18:14,490 What happened? 310 00:18:14,702 --> 00:18:17,864 Professor Bauer got suspended, and we got an automatic A on our assignment. 311 00:18:17,865 --> 00:18:19,730 Did someone throw urine in my face? 312 00:18:20,032 --> 00:18:22,527 Oh, sometimes I surprise myself under pressure. 313 00:18:22,910 --> 00:18:26,437 Jeff, about the assignment, we decided you had the right answer. 314 00:18:26,647 --> 00:18:29,514 I think we need more respect and a little less passion. 315 00:18:29,717 --> 00:18:32,743 Which will be easy for me, because I think you're kinda gross now. 316 00:18:32,954 --> 00:18:34,012 Awesome. 317 00:18:34,455 --> 00:18:36,446 Pierce, I'm gonna delete that Twitter account. 318 00:18:36,657 --> 00:18:38,899 Your friendship is more important than 600,000 strangers. 319 00:18:38,900 --> 00:18:42,996 Wow, wow, wow . Are you saying 600,000 people read what I say on Twitter? 320 00:18:43,531 --> 00:18:45,624 Come on, we gotta cash in on that. 321 00:18:45,833 --> 00:18:48,996 How about Old White Man Says, the TV Show? 322 00:18:49,470 --> 00:18:51,233 - No. - Who would watch that? 323 00:18:51,439 --> 00:18:54,306 Speaking of bad development strategy, I owe you all an apology. 324 00:18:54,336 --> 00:18:56,093 I was trying so hard to make our first week a great one, 325 00:18:56,094 --> 00:18:58,123 that I didn't realize there was something great in front of us the whole time. 326 00:18:58,496 --> 00:19:00,496 An old woman drinking her own pee. 327 00:19:00,581 --> 00:19:02,048 - You're Right. - That's true. 328 00:19:02,250 --> 00:19:04,241 Guys? 329 00:19:04,485 --> 00:19:05,520 I got a confession to make. 330 00:19:05,521 --> 00:19:09,321 I took Anthropology because I wanna be a part of your study group. 331 00:19:10,191 --> 00:19:13,424 Now I gotta do the honest thing and just ask. 332 00:19:13,694 --> 00:19:18,131 Is there any room in this pocket for a little spare Chang? 333 00:19:18,911 --> 00:19:23,075 Uh... look, we've been through a lot today. 334 00:19:23,638 --> 00:19:26,864 - Give us a little time to think it over. - Totally, totally, man. 335 00:19:26,874 --> 00:19:30,071 Just think about it. Take your time and let me know. 336 00:19:30,278 --> 00:19:31,836 - Bye. - See you, Chang. 337 00:19:31,946 --> 00:19:33,208 Bye. 338 00:19:33,248 --> 00:19:36,275 Aww. Poor guy. We'll let him in eventually. 339 00:19:36,350 --> 00:19:37,442 Says who? 340 00:19:37,466 --> 00:19:39,627 Look, we have the strength to survive anything. 341 00:19:39,755 --> 00:19:41,830 What's the worst that can happen with Chang? 342 00:19:41,831 --> 00:19:44,163 - Yeah, that's true. - Yeah, Good point. 343 00:19:46,494 --> 00:19:49,361 I told you they hate you. 344 00:19:50,998 --> 00:19:54,434 No, they said they just needed more time. 345 00:19:54,635 --> 00:19:57,763 Time? They destroyed your life. 346 00:19:57,972 --> 00:20:01,305 How much time before we take revenge? 347 00:20:01,509 --> 00:20:02,999 But they're my friends. 348 00:20:03,210 --> 00:20:05,269 I'm your only friend. 349 00:20:05,479 --> 00:20:07,208 No. 350 00:20:07,415 --> 00:20:09,280 No. 351 00:20:09,483 --> 00:20:11,075 No! 352 00:20:19,260 --> 00:20:21,660 ♪ Kingdom: Animalia. Phylum: Chordata ♪ 353 00:20:21,862 --> 00:20:23,222 ♪ The class is... Mammalia ♪ 354 00:20:23,230 --> 00:20:24,527 ♪ 'Cuz boobies we gotta ♪ 355 00:20:24,732 --> 00:20:27,093 ♪ Order is Primate. Family: Hominidae ♪ 356 00:20:27,134 --> 00:20:28,494 ♪ The genus is... Homo ♪ 357 00:20:28,502 --> 00:20:29,798 ♪ But you know you're into me, ♪ 358 00:20:29,799 --> 00:20:32,468 ♪ 'Cause I am in the species known as Sapien. ♪ 359 00:20:32,469 --> 00:20:35,165 ♪ Dogs used to eat me, but now they bring the paper in. ♪ 360 00:20:35,324 --> 00:20:39,387 ♪ It's gonna take a lot to get me away from you. ♪ 361 00:20:39,447 --> 00:20:40,573 ♪ Damn, damn. ♪ 362 00:20:40,781 --> 00:20:44,581 ♪ There's nothing that a hundred men or more could ever do. ♪ 363 00:20:44,785 --> 00:20:45,809 ♪ Sapien. ♪ 364 00:20:46,020 --> 00:20:49,148 ♪ I bless the rains down in Africa. ♪ 365 00:20:49,357 --> 00:20:55,819 ♪ Oh, bless the rains ♪ ♪ I bless the rains down in Africa ♪ 366 00:20:56,397 --> 00:21:00,163 ♪ I bless the rains down in Africa ♪ 367 00:21:00,368 --> 00:21:01,357 ♪ Africa ♪