1 00:00:02,609 --> 00:00:05,022 We was camping, and we was eating, 2 00:00:05,400 --> 00:00:08,474 and it was a mountain lion jump all the way down and eat my leg. 3 00:00:09,614 --> 00:00:12,974 I think a mountain lion jump down and eat someone's grammar. 4 00:00:12,975 --> 00:00:14,441 The auto-tune remix is way better. 5 00:00:14,442 --> 00:00:16,245 - Go to related videos. - Uh-huh. 6 00:00:16,246 --> 00:00:21,138 We was... we was camping, camping, we was eeeeeeating, eating... 7 00:00:21,139 --> 00:00:23,634 - Professor? - Oh, Annie, please don't start. 8 00:00:23,635 --> 00:00:24,683 We've been through this. 9 00:00:24,684 --> 00:00:27,069 Anthropology is the study of humanity. 10 00:00:27,070 --> 00:00:28,396 Nothing is off topic. 11 00:00:28,571 --> 00:00:30,504 No, it's just, I've seen this one. 12 00:00:30,559 --> 00:00:33,168 Put in "car crash camel toe". 13 00:00:33,173 --> 00:00:38,128 Wait, wait, wait, wait. "Ski lift ninja crotch rip." 14 00:00:38,231 --> 00:00:40,612 Whoo! I'm a ski lift ninja! 15 00:00:40,613 --> 00:00:41,824 Oh! 16 00:00:45,842 --> 00:00:47,857 Look, Dolly Parton eating a hot dog. 17 00:00:47,957 --> 00:00:49,442 - Stop that! - Yeah. 18 00:00:49,803 --> 00:00:51,118 I can do what I want. 19 00:00:51,375 --> 00:00:53,629 Uh, what happens if you type in "God"? 20 00:00:53,630 --> 00:00:54,923 Boo! 21 00:00:55,430 --> 00:00:57,593 - Everyone hates you and asks you to... - Do not boo her. 22 00:00:57,836 --> 00:01:00,981 This subject's lack of definition cuts both ways. 23 00:01:01,008 --> 00:01:03,583 If farts are fair game, so is God. 24 00:01:04,207 --> 00:01:05,988 Top hit, "God of farts". 25 00:01:07,353 --> 00:01:09,371 - You ask for it... - It balances out. 26 00:01:11,335 --> 00:01:13,198 That's blasphemous. Who wants to see that? 27 00:01:13,199 --> 00:01:16,376 - 17 million people. - Oh. 28 00:01:16,609 --> 00:01:19,208 There were nine people at my church last night. 29 00:01:24,164 --> 00:01:25,650 - Auto-tune God of farts. - Yeah! 30 00:01:25,651 --> 00:01:27,707 - Yeah!... - Way ahead of you. 31 00:01:36,965 --> 00:01:41,485 Community 2x05 - Messianic Myths and Ancient Peoples 32 00:01:41,486 --> 00:01:45,986 Sync by vNaru - Corrected by 4be1 www.addic7ed.com 33 00:02:06,084 --> 00:02:08,144 Abed, guess who's got two thumbs 34 00:02:08,145 --> 00:02:10,211 and has an exciting career opportunity for you? 35 00:02:10,931 --> 00:02:11,945 This guy. 36 00:02:12,977 --> 00:02:14,560 I'm pointing my thumbs at God. 37 00:02:14,690 --> 00:02:16,370 I'm using one thumb to say that's great. 38 00:02:16,371 --> 00:02:18,191 Um, I told my pastor about YouTube 39 00:02:18,192 --> 00:02:19,633 and how there's no light there for the kids, 40 00:02:19,634 --> 00:02:20,986 and our church wants to sponsor 41 00:02:20,987 --> 00:02:23,093 the making of a viral video with a Christian message. 42 00:02:23,094 --> 00:02:25,187 Ha! What are you gonna do, "rapping Jesus"? 43 00:02:25,188 --> 00:02:26,296 Pierce, please just step aside 44 00:02:26,297 --> 00:02:27,706 and make room for a new generation. 45 00:02:28,098 --> 00:02:30,966 Um, Abed, would you like to make a Christian YouTube? 46 00:02:30,967 --> 00:02:31,959 I know you're Muslim. 47 00:02:31,960 --> 00:02:33,112 As a Muslim, I'd be happy to do it. 48 00:02:33,113 --> 00:02:34,431 As a filmmaker, no way. 49 00:02:34,432 --> 00:02:35,807 I'm a storyteller, not a preacher. 50 00:02:35,808 --> 00:02:38,887 Well, the Bible has been called the greatest story ever told. 51 00:02:39,117 --> 00:02:41,095 Ben Lyons said the same thing about I am legend. 52 00:02:41,390 --> 00:02:44,185 Oh, well, I'll have to rent that, then. 53 00:02:45,123 --> 00:02:47,049 - Whoa. - What? 54 00:02:47,518 --> 00:02:49,026 That's a lot of pasta for no veggies. 55 00:02:49,027 --> 00:02:50,605 You're not in charge of what I eat. 56 00:02:50,606 --> 00:02:52,316 That's true. Britta! 57 00:02:56,603 --> 00:02:58,820 And some damn broccoli, please. 58 00:02:59,088 --> 00:03:01,014 Pierce has been acting out a lot lately. 59 00:03:01,015 --> 00:03:02,336 Maybe you should talk to him. 60 00:03:03,294 --> 00:03:04,759 How is that my job? 61 00:03:05,193 --> 00:03:06,847 Aren't you, like, the dad? 62 00:03:06,848 --> 00:03:09,111 Would the dad walk away from this conversation? 63 00:03:09,532 --> 00:03:10,444 No? 64 00:03:10,887 --> 00:03:11,751 Ah! 65 00:03:15,907 --> 00:03:17,257 You're having cookies for lunch? 66 00:03:17,258 --> 00:03:19,497 - Yeah. - Hey, you didn't pay for those. 67 00:03:19,540 --> 00:03:20,809 Call a cop. 68 00:03:23,634 --> 00:03:25,035 Heads up, gay wads. 69 00:03:25,036 --> 00:03:27,140 - Hey! - Cookies! 70 00:03:27,390 --> 00:03:29,301 Fresh and stolen. 71 00:03:31,114 --> 00:03:32,675 What are you looking at? 72 00:03:33,119 --> 00:03:34,164 Your face. 73 00:03:34,165 --> 00:03:36,334 That's what you're supposed to look at. 74 00:03:36,886 --> 00:03:37,569 So? 75 00:03:37,570 --> 00:03:39,227 So? You gonna sit down or what? 76 00:03:39,228 --> 00:03:42,704 Oh, no, I usually sit with the younger people. 77 00:03:42,705 --> 00:03:45,197 Well, la de da de da. 78 00:03:45,198 --> 00:03:47,151 No, no, we watch videos on "YouTune", 79 00:03:47,152 --> 00:03:49,623 and you guys probably don't even know what that is. 80 00:03:49,624 --> 00:03:50,668 We don't care. 81 00:03:50,669 --> 00:03:51,790 Pierce, are you looking for us? 82 00:03:51,791 --> 00:03:53,593 - We're sitting over there. - I can see! 83 00:03:53,594 --> 00:03:56,106 Sheesh! Did you take your pills? 84 00:03:56,107 --> 00:03:58,404 - Ooh! - Mama's boy. 85 00:03:58,405 --> 00:04:00,895 We're having a private conversation here. 86 00:04:00,896 --> 00:04:02,783 Oh. Oh, I'm sorry. Um, hi. 87 00:04:02,784 --> 00:04:05,421 - I'm... I'm Britta, Pierce's... - Pbbt! 88 00:04:06,672 --> 00:04:08,815 Very nice meeting you guys. 89 00:04:11,395 --> 00:04:13,554 "Very nice meeting you guys." 90 00:04:16,090 --> 00:04:17,218 She's a lesbian. 91 00:04:25,366 --> 00:04:26,477 - Shirley. - Hmm? 92 00:04:26,478 --> 00:04:28,966 - I read the new testament. - The whole thing? 93 00:04:29,030 --> 00:04:30,336 You know, being raised by TV and movies, 94 00:04:30,337 --> 00:04:32,049 I always thought that Jesus just walked on water 95 00:04:32,050 --> 00:04:33,476 and told people not to have abortions, 96 00:04:33,477 --> 00:04:34,981 but it's so much cooler than that. 97 00:04:35,004 --> 00:04:37,977 He was like ET, Edward Scissorhands, and Marty McFly combined. 98 00:04:38,829 --> 00:04:40,309 I would love to make a Jesus movie. 99 00:04:40,310 --> 00:04:42,342 Oh, Abed, that's wonderful! 100 00:04:42,348 --> 00:04:43,586 What do you think we should do? 101 00:04:43,587 --> 00:04:45,271 It needs to be cool and addictive, 102 00:04:45,272 --> 00:04:47,562 like that video of the kitten falling asleep. 103 00:04:47,563 --> 00:04:48,478 Absolutely. 104 00:04:48,479 --> 00:04:49,524 But the story's been told to death, 105 00:04:49,525 --> 00:04:50,967 so I want to approach it in a new way. 106 00:04:50,968 --> 00:04:53,642 We need a Jesus movie for the post post-modern world. 107 00:04:53,953 --> 00:04:57,007 Like Jesus as a rapper? 108 00:04:57,008 --> 00:04:57,884 No. 109 00:04:58,741 --> 00:04:59,955 I want to tell the story of Jesus 110 00:04:59,956 --> 00:05:02,558 from the perspective of a filmmaker exploring the life of Jesus. 111 00:05:02,559 --> 00:05:05,509 That sounds very appealing to filmmakers. 112 00:05:05,510 --> 00:05:07,668 See, in the filmmaker's film, Jesus is a filmmaker 113 00:05:07,669 --> 00:05:09,150 trying to find God with his camera. 114 00:05:09,151 --> 00:05:11,252 But then the filmmaker realizes that he's actually Jesus 115 00:05:11,253 --> 00:05:12,823 and he's being filmed by God's camera. 116 00:05:12,824 --> 00:05:14,304 And it goes like that forever in both directions, 117 00:05:14,305 --> 00:05:15,164 like a mirror in a mirror, 118 00:05:15,165 --> 00:05:16,520 because all of the filmmakers are Jesus, 119 00:05:16,521 --> 00:05:19,875 and all their cameras are God, and the movie is called ABED. 120 00:05:21,147 --> 00:05:22,371 All caps. 121 00:05:22,372 --> 00:05:25,401 Filmmaking beyond film. A metafilm. 122 00:05:25,514 --> 00:05:26,843 My masterpiece. 123 00:05:26,844 --> 00:05:31,212 - But I don't like it. - Well, that's okay. 124 00:05:31,213 --> 00:05:33,199 You know, you're reacting the way the world did to Jesus. 125 00:05:34,135 --> 00:05:35,580 I'm reacting the way the world does 126 00:05:35,581 --> 00:05:38,099 to movies about making movies about making movies. 127 00:05:38,100 --> 00:05:39,317 I mean, come on, Charlie Kaufman, 128 00:05:39,318 --> 00:05:41,190 some of us have work in the morning, damn. 129 00:05:41,199 --> 00:05:42,819 Does this mean you don't want to work on the movie? 130 00:05:43,394 --> 00:05:45,000 This means there is no movie. 131 00:05:51,440 --> 00:05:53,013 This is the movie. 132 00:05:54,552 --> 00:05:56,793 The game is Jacks and deuces wild. 133 00:05:56,794 --> 00:05:59,889 Except if the dean comes in, and then it's bingo. 134 00:06:02,855 --> 00:06:04,598 Keep it. I've got another one. 135 00:06:05,493 --> 00:06:09,504 If you get caught with that, just say it's your 90th birthday. 136 00:06:09,505 --> 00:06:11,272 Suddenly, it's adorable. 137 00:06:12,428 --> 00:06:13,398 That's right. 138 00:06:13,402 --> 00:06:16,243 All right, now. What is this again? 139 00:06:16,960 --> 00:06:18,567 B-19. 140 00:06:18,568 --> 00:06:20,482 No. B-19, my butt. 141 00:06:20,483 --> 00:06:22,887 I told you guys no poker, all right? 142 00:06:22,888 --> 00:06:24,807 Shut this down! 143 00:06:24,808 --> 00:06:27,369 Shut your mouth down, fruit. 144 00:06:27,370 --> 00:06:30,405 Oh, hey, unacceptable, and none of your business, 145 00:06:30,406 --> 00:06:31,678 and barely the whole truth. 146 00:06:31,679 --> 00:06:34,106 All right, everyone go home. 147 00:06:34,107 --> 00:06:36,638 - Excuse me, mister? - What, Pierce? 148 00:06:37,307 --> 00:06:38,295 What year is it? 149 00:06:38,296 --> 00:06:39,193 What? 150 00:06:39,861 --> 00:06:41,833 Poker helps him remember. 151 00:06:42,891 --> 00:06:43,887 Veronica. 152 00:06:54,296 --> 00:06:56,147 Yeah, yeah, yeah! 153 00:06:56,157 --> 00:06:57,229 You are okay, kid. 154 00:06:57,230 --> 00:06:58,702 Go ahead and deal. Let's go. 155 00:06:59,057 --> 00:07:02,109 Jesus, did you really die for our sins? That's dopey. 156 00:07:02,110 --> 00:07:03,716 Oh, uh, dope. 157 00:07:03,717 --> 00:07:07,515 Ooh, freudian slip, perhaps due to my feeling kind of dopey. 158 00:07:07,516 --> 00:07:08,926 Do the line, atheist. 159 00:07:08,927 --> 00:07:11,254 Jesus, did you really die for our sins? 160 00:07:11,255 --> 00:07:12,688 That's dope. 161 00:07:13,365 --> 00:07:14,736 You think that's dope? 162 00:07:14,737 --> 00:07:18,228 Check out these... beatitudes. 163 00:07:25,142 --> 00:07:27,269 Blessed be the peacemakers, word to the meek, 164 00:07:27,270 --> 00:07:30,609 the kingdom of heaven is open all week, Jesus and me were... 165 00:07:30,610 --> 00:07:31,723 Oh! 166 00:07:32,036 --> 00:07:33,602 I have arrived! 167 00:07:33,603 --> 00:07:36,401 I am watched, as I am watching. 168 00:07:36,862 --> 00:07:40,365 I am audience and creation. 169 00:07:42,327 --> 00:07:44,480 The earth shall know my power! 170 00:07:44,631 --> 00:07:46,370 Abed, what are you doing? 171 00:07:46,371 --> 00:07:48,792 Oh, great! You blew the take! 172 00:07:48,793 --> 00:07:51,067 No, no, keep rolling. 173 00:07:52,414 --> 00:07:53,940 This can all be part of it. 174 00:07:55,337 --> 00:07:56,739 There are no takes. 175 00:07:56,936 --> 00:07:58,275 There is no viewer. 176 00:07:59,028 --> 00:08:00,471 The film is the story. 177 00:08:00,472 --> 00:08:01,972 The story is us. 178 00:08:02,495 --> 00:08:04,612 We are the film. 179 00:08:04,613 --> 00:08:05,843 It's totally meta. 180 00:08:05,844 --> 00:08:08,672 Well, let's get back to our non-meta production, shall we? 181 00:08:08,673 --> 00:08:10,801 - Come on. - No, I want to watch this. 182 00:08:10,802 --> 00:08:12,137 Troy, there's no time. 183 00:08:12,690 --> 00:08:15,032 Then, we quit. Right, Britta? 184 00:08:15,033 --> 00:08:18,164 I don't even believe in God, but I love me some Abed. 185 00:08:18,165 --> 00:08:19,180 Yeah. 186 00:08:20,298 --> 00:08:21,400 Wait, wait. 187 00:08:35,338 --> 00:08:38,151 "The story of the story is the story." 188 00:08:38,311 --> 00:08:40,402 Sure, that'll play in poughkeepsie. 189 00:08:40,543 --> 00:08:43,335 I heard some theaters are gonna show it in reverse. 190 00:08:43,336 --> 00:08:45,970 I heard it's the same movie backward and forward. 191 00:08:45,971 --> 00:08:48,255 I heard the deleted scenes are the scenes 192 00:08:48,256 --> 00:08:50,469 and the scenes are the deleted scenes. 193 00:08:50,470 --> 00:08:52,522 I heard Jesus died for our sins. 194 00:08:53,211 --> 00:08:54,258 Oh, hey, guys, 195 00:08:54,684 --> 00:08:57,235 the director's answering questions in the cafeteria, 196 00:08:57,236 --> 00:08:59,889 and it both is and isn't part of the movie! 197 00:08:59,890 --> 00:09:01,208 - Ah! - Get a table! 198 00:09:04,087 --> 00:09:07,327 Abed, are we all in the movie right now? 199 00:09:08,765 --> 00:09:11,965 We are all in a movie, even when there are no cameras. 200 00:09:12,936 --> 00:09:14,753 When will the movie be released? 201 00:09:15,316 --> 00:09:16,811 When is life released? 202 00:09:17,867 --> 00:09:19,799 Every minute of our lives is a world premiere, 203 00:09:19,800 --> 00:09:21,663 and my father has already bought the popcorn. 204 00:09:21,668 --> 00:09:22,866 Whoa! 205 00:09:23,461 --> 00:09:26,958 Excuse me, Abed, but you aren't actually trying to say 206 00:09:26,959 --> 00:09:29,526 that you're Jesus, are you? 207 00:09:29,787 --> 00:09:31,821 I am who you say I am. 208 00:09:32,834 --> 00:09:34,144 Oh, man. 209 00:09:34,633 --> 00:09:38,116 Okay, yeah, ooh, it's meta now. 210 00:09:38,117 --> 00:09:39,520 Except here's the thing. 211 00:09:39,521 --> 00:09:41,768 I'm a devout Christian, and you guys 212 00:09:41,769 --> 00:09:44,711 are feeding into this poor boy's delusions. 213 00:09:44,712 --> 00:09:48,305 So cool! She's an actual real life pharisee! 214 00:09:48,368 --> 00:09:50,888 Hey, bitch, why don't you go back to your temple? 215 00:09:50,889 --> 00:09:51,808 Yeah! 216 00:09:52,579 --> 00:09:55,148 Why don't you all stop confusing Jesus 217 00:09:55,149 --> 00:09:58,288 with an egotistical filmmaking lunatic? 218 00:10:01,184 --> 00:10:02,413 I forgive her. 219 00:10:19,204 --> 00:10:21,790 So, how's your film going, Abed? 220 00:10:21,791 --> 00:10:23,019 Blasphemously. 221 00:10:23,020 --> 00:10:25,390 It's not blasphemy to say that we are God, Shirley. 222 00:10:26,209 --> 00:10:27,562 First Corinthians: 223 00:10:27,829 --> 00:10:32,051 "He who unites himself with the Lord is one with him in spirit." 224 00:10:32,052 --> 00:10:33,899 Did you just scripture me, Muslim? 225 00:10:34,178 --> 00:10:35,367 Jesus was Jewish. 226 00:10:35,368 --> 00:10:37,063 Are you ever gonna let that go? 227 00:10:37,121 --> 00:10:39,362 Hey. No religious talk. 228 00:10:41,642 --> 00:10:42,868 Somebody's late. 229 00:10:43,410 --> 00:10:44,922 What is that in your pocket? 230 00:10:45,582 --> 00:10:47,776 Jeff, Britta, Pierce is smoking cigars. 231 00:10:49,640 --> 00:10:51,205 What's it to you, butt-breath? 232 00:10:51,729 --> 00:10:52,851 Look at your eyes. 233 00:10:52,852 --> 00:10:54,272 Have you been out all night with those hipsters? 234 00:10:54,273 --> 00:10:55,330 Hipsters? 235 00:10:55,331 --> 00:10:57,405 That pack of old people that hang out in the cafeteria. 236 00:10:57,406 --> 00:10:59,483 People call them hipsters 'cause they all have hip replacements. 237 00:10:59,484 --> 00:11:00,866 They do not. 238 00:11:01,227 --> 00:11:03,107 Leonard could probably kick your ass. 239 00:11:04,109 --> 00:11:05,064 Leonard? 240 00:11:05,689 --> 00:11:07,252 You're hanging out with Leonard? 241 00:11:07,634 --> 00:11:08,686 You know I hate him. 242 00:11:08,687 --> 00:11:10,933 So? Everybody hates him. 243 00:11:10,934 --> 00:11:12,279 That's why he's cool. 244 00:11:13,248 --> 00:11:14,476 You people don't get it. 245 00:11:14,477 --> 00:11:16,730 Well, Pierce, I'm not sure that I want to get it, 246 00:11:16,731 --> 00:11:18,145 and I think you ought to take a break 247 00:11:18,146 --> 00:11:19,227 from these new friends of yours. 248 00:11:19,228 --> 00:11:20,779 They've got you all riled up. 249 00:11:20,780 --> 00:11:22,234 That's what Leonard said you'd say. 250 00:11:22,235 --> 00:11:24,954 Well, Leonard is not a part of this study group, 251 00:11:24,955 --> 00:11:26,942 so you apologize right now to... 252 00:11:27,264 --> 00:11:28,470 what? Ah! 253 00:11:28,628 --> 00:11:29,818 I'm not your father! 254 00:11:29,819 --> 00:11:31,093 I never said you were! 255 00:11:31,396 --> 00:11:33,187 - Where are you going? - Out! 256 00:11:34,687 --> 00:11:36,832 When did Pierce become awesome? 257 00:11:36,833 --> 00:11:38,859 I am gonna shut you down, you know that? 258 00:11:38,860 --> 00:11:40,589 - I do. - Oh! Oh, I get it! 259 00:11:40,590 --> 00:11:41,719 I'm supposed to shut you down. 260 00:11:41,720 --> 00:11:43,050 - Well, I'm not gonna do it. - Don't. 261 00:11:43,051 --> 00:11:44,384 - I won't. - Good. 262 00:11:44,385 --> 00:11:45,447 I am gonna shut you down. 263 00:11:45,448 --> 00:11:46,347 Good. 264 00:11:52,041 --> 00:11:53,423 You should have seen his face. 265 00:11:53,980 --> 00:11:55,369 He was terrified. 266 00:11:55,805 --> 00:11:58,166 You're his worst nightmare now. 267 00:11:58,167 --> 00:11:59,959 You're old and you don't give a damn. 268 00:11:59,960 --> 00:12:00,966 Booyah! 269 00:12:08,953 --> 00:12:10,997 Don't make eye contact, and we'll be fine. 270 00:12:13,248 --> 00:12:14,692 Mmm, here comes the boss! 271 00:12:15,338 --> 00:12:18,332 - The dean has got a date. - What a lovely couple. 272 00:12:18,333 --> 00:12:20,082 Please, give us a break, will you? 273 00:12:20,083 --> 00:12:22,639 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh! 274 00:12:23,523 --> 00:12:25,659 I don't want to see you hipsters when I come back out here! 275 00:12:25,660 --> 00:12:27,466 Go! Run, run. We made them angry. 276 00:12:27,467 --> 00:12:30,033 - We've made them angry. - Hey, he left his keys. 277 00:12:30,034 --> 00:12:32,197 Ooh, who's up for a joyride? 278 00:12:32,198 --> 00:12:34,470 - Hell yeah. - Oh, I don't know. 279 00:12:34,471 --> 00:12:36,413 We could get into some serious trouble here. 280 00:12:36,414 --> 00:12:37,363 Oh, come on. 281 00:12:37,364 --> 00:12:40,786 We get caught, we can just pretend we're disoriented, 282 00:12:40,787 --> 00:12:42,434 and he can give us a ride home. 283 00:12:42,435 --> 00:12:46,017 Where am I? What year is it? 284 00:12:48,016 --> 00:12:49,317 But we've all been drinking. 285 00:12:49,318 --> 00:12:51,523 Oh, grow a schmekel. 286 00:12:54,326 --> 00:12:55,857 Okay, everyone, this is the last scene. 287 00:12:55,953 --> 00:12:58,253 I want to thank you all for contributing in your small way 288 00:12:58,254 --> 00:13:00,648 to the greatest film ever made. 289 00:13:00,649 --> 00:13:04,056 And on the seventh day, Shirley shut down production. 290 00:13:04,057 --> 00:13:05,570 Abed, Shirley has informed me 291 00:13:05,571 --> 00:13:06,922 that you are using school equipment 292 00:13:06,923 --> 00:13:09,590 on school property to make a religious film. 293 00:13:09,591 --> 00:13:11,610 She has filed an official complaint, 294 00:13:11,611 --> 00:13:14,056 invoking the separation of church and state. 295 00:13:14,057 --> 00:13:16,023 I pointed out the irony to her already. 296 00:13:16,024 --> 00:13:17,706 Don't give a crap. Let's be ironic. 297 00:13:17,707 --> 00:13:18,598 Shut it down. 298 00:13:18,599 --> 00:13:21,545 Abed, are you making a religious film? 299 00:13:21,925 --> 00:13:23,722 All movies are religious to me. 300 00:13:23,962 --> 00:13:27,312 Nice. But is it a movie about Jesus? 301 00:13:27,313 --> 00:13:29,683 Is the Matrix? Is Robocop? 302 00:13:29,851 --> 00:13:31,488 Is Superman Returns? 303 00:13:31,678 --> 00:13:34,318 All stories are about death and resurrection. 304 00:13:34,319 --> 00:13:36,392 I've got one. Wrath of Khan, hmm? 305 00:13:36,393 --> 00:13:37,184 That's a good one. 306 00:13:37,185 --> 00:13:39,816 Spock sacrifices himself for the crew and gets reborn. 307 00:13:39,817 --> 00:13:42,564 How captivating was Ricardo Montalban in that? 308 00:13:42,565 --> 00:13:45,989 Except in Abed's film, the character's name isn't Spock! 309 00:13:46,299 --> 00:13:49,095 That's true. It's Abed. 310 00:13:49,096 --> 00:13:52,434 Oh. I'm getting creative goose bumps here. 311 00:13:52,446 --> 00:13:54,234 I love Charlie Kaufman. 312 00:13:54,235 --> 00:13:55,791 I need to run into editing for one second, 313 00:13:55,792 --> 00:13:57,106 but if you want, we can grab you a chair 314 00:13:57,107 --> 00:13:58,386 and you can watch a take. 315 00:13:59,440 --> 00:14:01,190 I would love that. 316 00:14:01,476 --> 00:14:03,013 I've never watched a take before. 317 00:14:03,014 --> 00:14:05,270 - This is exciting. - Uh, you... 318 00:14:06,908 --> 00:14:10,558 Say what you will about Abed, but the man cannot be killed. 319 00:14:12,511 --> 00:14:14,259 I mean, it's almost like he's Jesus. 320 00:14:14,260 --> 00:14:15,632 I got it. 321 00:14:16,216 --> 00:14:17,717 I don't think we should be driving. 322 00:14:17,718 --> 00:14:20,937 I mean, we're all, you know, old and groggy. 323 00:14:20,938 --> 00:14:22,968 God, stop worrying. 324 00:14:23,081 --> 00:14:25,313 Richard flew zeroes during the big one. 325 00:14:26,161 --> 00:14:27,254 What do you mean, "flew zeroes"? 326 00:14:27,255 --> 00:14:28,298 He's not Japanese. 327 00:14:28,299 --> 00:14:30,782 Well, what did you fly during the big one, rich? 328 00:14:31,201 --> 00:14:32,447 Where am I? 329 00:14:32,448 --> 00:14:34,002 Oh, come on. Stop farting around. 330 00:14:34,003 --> 00:14:36,314 Seriously, I don't know where I am. 331 00:14:37,021 --> 00:14:38,288 What year is it? 332 00:14:40,076 --> 00:14:41,260 How do I drive? 333 00:14:58,422 --> 00:14:59,435 Let's bail. 334 00:14:59,853 --> 00:15:01,193 Wait a minute. What about Richard? 335 00:15:01,194 --> 00:15:03,627 Screw Richard! It's every man for himself! 336 00:15:12,229 --> 00:15:13,586 Richard, are you all right? 337 00:15:14,053 --> 00:15:17,069 Well, am I Richard? 338 00:15:17,492 --> 00:15:18,313 Yes. 339 00:15:18,314 --> 00:15:19,498 Then I'm fine. 340 00:15:19,573 --> 00:15:22,089 But who were those people that ran away? 341 00:15:22,090 --> 00:15:23,342 Our friends? 342 00:15:24,287 --> 00:15:25,555 That's a good question. 343 00:15:25,700 --> 00:15:26,659 Oh. 344 00:15:28,459 --> 00:15:29,538 What is? 345 00:15:33,565 --> 00:15:36,333 There are no takes. There is no viewer. 346 00:15:37,288 --> 00:15:40,059 The film is the story. The story is us. 347 00:15:40,750 --> 00:15:42,802 We are the film. 348 00:15:44,600 --> 00:15:46,836 So, what do you think? 349 00:15:48,238 --> 00:15:49,397 I need to take a walk. 350 00:16:03,776 --> 00:16:06,869 Dear God, my movie is the worst piece of crap 351 00:16:06,870 --> 00:16:08,568 I have ever seen in my entire life. 352 00:16:09,972 --> 00:16:11,438 How could I have been so blind? 353 00:16:12,123 --> 00:16:13,803 It's a self-indulgent, adolescent mess. 354 00:16:13,804 --> 00:16:15,189 I can barely sit through it. 355 00:16:16,973 --> 00:16:17,870 And now, with all this hype, 356 00:16:17,871 --> 00:16:19,542 I've got a real snakes on a plane brewing. 357 00:16:21,013 --> 00:16:22,154 The critics are gonna crucify me. 358 00:16:22,155 --> 00:16:24,109 My career will be over before it begins. 359 00:16:25,366 --> 00:16:28,322 God, if you're out there, I know I don't deserve it, 360 00:16:28,323 --> 00:16:29,642 but I need your help. 361 00:16:29,704 --> 00:16:31,449 Please take this project away from me. 362 00:16:32,092 --> 00:16:34,568 Make it rain, send a meteor, 363 00:16:35,220 --> 00:16:37,545 anything. Please? 364 00:16:38,560 --> 00:16:39,729 Now? 365 00:16:44,335 --> 00:16:47,021 Okay, I get it. This is what I deserve. 366 00:16:49,088 --> 00:16:50,352 I'll finish it up. 367 00:17:48,786 --> 00:17:51,672 Hi, I'm Pierce Hawthorne's emergency contact. 368 00:17:51,673 --> 00:17:53,046 - You're here to pick him up? - No, no. 369 00:17:53,047 --> 00:17:55,463 I'm here to be removed as his emergency contact. 370 00:17:55,678 --> 00:17:59,147 - One second. - Hey, I got a class! 371 00:18:00,040 --> 00:18:01,137 Where is everybody? 372 00:18:01,389 --> 00:18:02,881 Is anyone coming to get Leonard? 373 00:18:03,534 --> 00:18:06,018 No. Nobody comes for him anymore. 374 00:18:06,252 --> 00:18:08,393 His kids asked us to stop calling them. 375 00:18:09,706 --> 00:18:11,294 Why do you think he acts like that? 376 00:18:16,680 --> 00:18:18,128 So we're in prison, right? 377 00:18:20,439 --> 00:18:21,587 All right, bring him out. 378 00:18:23,106 --> 00:18:25,337 Over here, Pierce. Come on. Book. 379 00:18:27,573 --> 00:18:28,244 Hey. 380 00:18:28,245 --> 00:18:29,456 Go wait in the car. 381 00:18:30,093 --> 00:18:30,902 It wasn't my fault. 382 00:18:30,903 --> 00:18:33,452 Go. Wait. In. The. Car. 383 00:18:36,116 --> 00:18:37,103 Ooh!... 384 00:18:39,562 --> 00:18:41,021 You want me to change that or not? 385 00:18:41,022 --> 00:18:42,191 I guess not. 386 00:18:42,918 --> 00:18:44,442 Uh, but, um, could you do me a favor? 387 00:18:44,443 --> 00:18:47,317 Could you add Britta Perry as a contact? 388 00:18:47,329 --> 00:18:48,968 P-e-r-r-y. 389 00:18:49,190 --> 00:18:51,024 And would you give her a call a couple of times a week? 390 00:18:51,025 --> 00:18:52,586 She gets pretty worried about him. 391 00:18:53,162 --> 00:18:55,878 And, uh, she works days, so make sure you call at night. 392 00:19:13,840 --> 00:19:15,877 Everyone thinks what you did was destined to happen, 393 00:19:16,629 --> 00:19:18,683 that it was proof that God was making my movie, 394 00:19:18,776 --> 00:19:20,425 a movie so good, it could never exist. 395 00:19:20,791 --> 00:19:22,808 They think I'm a genius, and they think you're a villain. 396 00:19:26,494 --> 00:19:27,679 You heard me praying. 397 00:19:28,429 --> 00:19:29,895 I don't know what you mean. 398 00:19:31,125 --> 00:19:32,837 Oh, this is gonna be good! 399 00:19:32,838 --> 00:19:37,210 Abed sent me a new link, and that man knows his video virality. 400 00:19:37,211 --> 00:19:40,945 So you're just gonna drop all pretense of actually teaching us? 401 00:19:40,946 --> 00:19:42,598 Yeah. Here we go. 402 00:19:43,135 --> 00:19:45,859 Blessed be the peacemakers, word to the meek, 403 00:19:45,860 --> 00:19:48,833 the kingdom of heaven is open all week. 404 00:19:48,834 --> 00:19:50,320 You finished my movie. 405 00:19:50,797 --> 00:19:52,028 I don't know what you mean. 406 00:19:57,544 --> 00:19:58,566 You humble me. 407 00:19:59,675 --> 00:20:01,123 You humble me too. 408 00:20:09,341 --> 00:20:13,236 Okay, open your books, because Abed has broken the Internet. 409 00:20:21,746 --> 00:20:22,776 Great. 410 00:20:22,839 --> 00:20:27,140 So which one of us is gonna head home and change? 411 00:20:30,460 --> 00:20:31,633 Hilarious. 412 00:20:31,634 --> 00:20:33,789 So you guys bought one of my outfits 413 00:20:33,790 --> 00:20:37,775 and then staked out my apartment every day until I wore it? 414 00:20:37,810 --> 00:20:39,303 That's not pathetic. 415 00:20:39,650 --> 00:20:40,548 Okay. 416 00:20:41,219 --> 00:20:42,103 Well. 417 00:20:42,620 --> 00:20:43,948 Good job. 418 00:20:44,271 --> 00:20:46,688 I guess I'm heading home to change now. 419 00:20:48,168 --> 00:20:50,264 Oh, I hit traffic. Did I miss it?