1
00:00:02,898 --> 00:00:05,908
It's that very special time of year,
Greendale.

2
00:00:05,909 --> 00:00:07,629
A time for me to remind you

3
00:00:07,630 --> 00:00:10,355
that your school acknowledges
no specialness

4
00:00:10,356 --> 00:00:11,830
to this time of year.

5
00:00:11,866 --> 00:00:14,378
You do, of course, have
a constitutional right

6
00:00:14,379 --> 00:00:15,723
to lend this season

7
00:00:15,724 --> 00:00:17,135
the significance of your choosing

8
00:00:17,136 --> 00:00:19,941
in any of our designated holiday zones.

9
00:00:22,443 --> 00:00:23,614
Merry Christmas, everybody.

10
00:00:23,615 --> 00:00:25,455
Don't you mean season's greetings?

11
00:00:25,456 --> 00:00:26,968
Come on, Shirley. You know it's Christmas.

12
00:00:26,969 --> 00:00:28,545
Yes, but as a modern Christian,

13
00:00:28,546 --> 00:00:29,778
I've learned to be sensitive

14
00:00:29,779 --> 00:00:31,277
to other cultures' jealousies.

15
00:00:31,278 --> 00:00:32,444
So what are we doing this year?

16
00:00:32,445 --> 00:00:34,235
Well, I'm taking a relaxation course

17
00:00:34,236 --> 00:00:35,217
next semester.

18
00:00:35,218 --> 00:00:36,268
And I was going to use the break

19
00:00:36,269 --> 00:00:37,620
to do all the reading in advance.

20
00:00:37,621 --> 00:00:39,679
I'm shutting myself in with my video games.

21
00:00:39,734 --> 00:00:41,365
Fake-murdering people is gonna be

22
00:00:41,366 --> 00:00:43,029
my new holiday tradition.

23
00:00:43,515 --> 00:00:44,739
Hm. This is disappointing.

24
00:00:44,740 --> 00:00:46,269
What do you care about Christmas, Abed?

25
00:00:46,270 --> 00:00:46,992
You're Muslim.

26
00:00:46,993 --> 00:00:48,085
Don't your people spend this season

27
00:00:48,086 --> 00:00:49,872
writing angry letters to TV guide?

28
00:00:49,873 --> 00:00:51,611
It's true. Religiously, I'm Muslim.

29
00:00:51,612 --> 00:00:53,286
But I've always been a big fan
of Christmas.

30
00:00:53,287 --> 00:00:54,789
And this is the most important Christmas

31
00:00:54,790 --> 00:00:56,337
in the history of the universe.

32
00:00:56,338 --> 00:00:58,474
I'm assuming that's why we're all
stop-motion animated.

33
00:01:00,391 --> 00:01:01,766
I vote we let it go.

34
00:01:01,774 --> 00:01:03,266
What did you say we were, Abed?

35
00:01:03,267 --> 00:01:04,339
We're stop-motion animated.

36
00:01:04,340 --> 00:01:05,660
I don't understand what he's saying.

37
00:01:05,661 --> 00:01:07,437
I never understand what
any of you are saying.

38
00:01:07,438 --> 00:01:08,422
You guys don't see it?

39
00:01:08,423 --> 00:01:09,767
I noticed it this morning.

40
00:01:09,787 --> 00:01:11,424
That's how I knew it was
a special Christmas.

41
00:01:11,425 --> 00:01:13,032
We've clearly entered a whole new medium.

44
00:01:16,815 --> 00:01:18,782
It's probably Arabic for "not clearly."

45
00:01:19,689 --> 00:01:21,593
You really expect me to tarnish
the high five

46
00:01:21,594 --> 00:01:22,748
for that?

47
00:01:23,033 --> 00:01:24,759
You guys really don't see what I'm seeing?

48
00:01:25,549 --> 00:01:26,927
That worries me a little.

49
00:01:26,928 --> 00:01:28,612
I think it worries all of us.

50
00:01:28,613 --> 00:01:30,186
Is there something that we can do

51
00:01:30,187 --> 00:01:33,534
to help you with your situation, Abed?

52
00:01:33,535 --> 00:01:35,076
For starters, you could move around more.

53
00:01:35,077 --> 00:01:36,127
Not much point in being animated

54
00:01:36,128 --> 00:01:36,945
if you don't.

55
00:01:36,946 --> 00:01:38,388
And I think we should commit to the format.

56
00:01:38,538 --> 00:01:40,068
Starting with a song.

57
00:01:41,522 --> 00:01:43,774
You start. I'm sure we'll join in.

58
00:01:44,440 --> 00:01:45,999
♪ Give me the snow ♪

59
00:01:46,000 --> 00:01:47,639
♪ light up the trees ♪

60
00:01:47,649 --> 00:01:49,205
♪ deck every hall ♪

61
00:01:49,217 --> 00:01:50,847
♪ and while you can see ♪

62
00:01:50,929 --> 00:01:52,612
♪ roast every nut ♪

63
00:01:52,695 --> 00:01:54,219
♪ mistle the toe ♪

64
00:01:54,220 --> 00:01:56,341
♪ this needs to be the best Christmas ♪

65
00:01:56,342 --> 00:01:58,223
♪ since the original. ♪

66
00:01:58,224 --> 00:02:01,461
♪ 20,000 years from now ♪

67
00:02:01,462 --> 00:02:03,138
♪ they'll say ♪

68
00:02:03,307 --> 00:02:05,929
♪ the most successful Christmas ♪

69
00:02:05,930 --> 00:02:08,418
♪ was today. ♪

70
00:02:09,716 --> 00:02:11,123
Okay, we got him.

71
00:02:11,124 --> 00:02:12,628
We got him. He's down.

72
00:02:12,925 --> 00:02:15,678
Now, how many fingers am I holding up?

73
00:02:15,679 --> 00:02:17,001
And, more importantly,

74
00:02:17,002 --> 00:02:18,837
are they still made of clay?

75
00:02:18,838 --> 00:02:20,262
Three, and I told you, we're not clay.

76
00:02:20,263 --> 00:02:21,648
We're silicone dolls with foam bodies

77
00:02:21,649 --> 00:02:23,026
over ball-and-socket armatures.

78
00:02:23,027 --> 00:02:24,295
Fascinating.

79
00:02:24,551 --> 00:02:25,732
And publishable.

80
00:02:25,733 --> 00:02:27,333
And you say you have no memory

81
00:02:27,334 --> 00:02:28,245
of this morning.

82
00:02:28,246 --> 00:02:30,222
You don't recall the emotional crisis

83
00:02:30,223 --> 00:02:31,560
that caused you to take shelter

84
00:02:31,561 --> 00:02:32,653
in this delusion.

85
00:02:32,654 --> 00:02:35,527
- It's not a delusion.
- Very, very publishable.

86
00:02:35,551 --> 00:02:37,836
Abed, I've been a professor of psychology

87
00:02:37,837 --> 00:02:40,392
here at Greendale for many years.

88
00:02:40,393 --> 00:02:42,157
And I think I see a solution to this

89
00:02:42,158 --> 00:02:45,327
that might also help you
with your situation.

90
00:02:45,328 --> 00:02:47,438
I'd like to do extensive sessions with you,

91
00:02:47,439 --> 00:02:48,834
including hypnosis.

92
00:02:48,835 --> 00:02:50,865
- I don't need therapy.
- Nobody said you did.

93
00:02:50,866 --> 00:02:52,686
I just think it would benefit you

94
00:02:52,687 --> 00:02:54,998
and, incidentally, me,

95
00:02:54,999 --> 00:02:57,467
to get to the real meaning of all this.

96
00:02:57,468 --> 00:02:58,861
You're right. That's it.

97
00:02:58,862 --> 00:03:00,374
I need to find the meaning of Christmas.

98
00:03:00,375 --> 00:03:01,322
Ah, well...

99
00:03:01,323 --> 00:03:02,385
If I can find the meaning of Christmas,

100
00:03:02,386 --> 00:03:03,892
everything will go back to normal.

101
00:03:03,922 --> 00:03:04,821
Asterisk.

102
00:03:04,822 --> 00:03:06,060
Abed, the dean says

103
00:03:06,061 --> 00:03:07,261
if you don't get help,

104
00:03:07,262 --> 00:03:09,209
they might kick you out of school.

105
00:03:09,210 --> 00:03:10,242
Why would I want to be in a school

106
00:03:10,243 --> 00:03:11,685
that hates Christmas?

107
00:03:12,752 --> 00:03:13,923
He's got a point.

108
00:03:13,924 --> 00:03:15,055
Kidding.

109
00:03:15,104 --> 00:03:17,912
♪ Sad quick Christmas song ♪

110
00:03:18,105 --> 00:03:21,088
♪ sad quick Christmas snowman ♪

111
00:03:21,089 --> 00:03:23,841
♪ tragic day gone wrong ♪

112
00:03:23,914 --> 00:03:27,052
♪ sad quick Christmas song. ♪

113
00:03:27,278 --> 00:03:28,685
I don't suppose you know
the meaning of Christmas,

114
00:03:28,686 --> 00:03:29,846
lonely snowman.

115
00:03:29,847 --> 00:03:31,397
Apparently, it means getting fondled

116
00:03:31,398 --> 00:03:32,952
by singing mental cases.

117
00:03:32,953 --> 00:03:34,346
My snowman is alive!

118
00:03:34,347 --> 00:03:35,564
I'm not a snowman.

119
00:03:35,565 --> 00:03:36,698
I'm Chang.

120
00:03:36,699 --> 00:03:38,288
What the hell's wrong with you today?

121
00:03:38,289 --> 00:03:39,221
I thought I made you.

122
00:03:39,222 --> 00:03:40,573
Yeah, you made me need to cry

123
00:03:40,574 --> 00:03:42,001
in the shower tonight.

124
00:03:42,825 --> 00:03:43,944
It's a text from Britta.

125
00:03:43,945 --> 00:03:45,226
She says, "the meaning of Christmas

126
00:03:45,227 --> 00:03:46,715
is in the study room."

127
00:03:47,041 --> 00:03:48,650
Hey, now that you started it,

128
00:03:48,651 --> 00:03:51,374
how 'bout ten more seconds
on that third button, huh?

129
00:03:55,585 --> 00:03:57,738
You lied to lure me into
a group therapy session?

130
00:03:57,739 --> 00:03:58,662
Surprise!

131
00:03:58,663 --> 00:04:00,751
Pierce, you promised not to do that.

132
00:04:00,795 --> 00:04:01,929
Surprise.

133
00:04:01,930 --> 00:04:03,486
- Not cool.
- H-h-hold on, Abed.

134
00:04:03,487 --> 00:04:05,113
I'm not just a psych professor.

135
00:04:05,114 --> 00:04:08,355
I'm also a Christmas wizard.

136
00:04:08,356 --> 00:04:08,986
You are?

137
00:04:08,987 --> 00:04:09,779
I am.

138
00:04:09,780 --> 00:04:13,560
And I can help you find
the meaning of Christmas.

139
00:04:13,561 --> 00:04:14,419
Right, guys?

140
00:04:14,420 --> 00:04:16,076
- Mm-hmm.
- Oh, yeah.

141
00:04:16,135 --> 00:04:17,525
Oh, this feels safe.

142
00:04:17,526 --> 00:04:18,655
Shut up, Winger.

143
00:04:18,656 --> 00:04:20,637
What do you think, Abed?

144
00:04:20,638 --> 00:04:22,627
Christmas wizard. Hm.

145
00:04:23,857 --> 00:04:24,946
I guess I can see that.

146
00:04:24,947 --> 00:04:26,205
Have a seat, then.

147
00:04:26,206 --> 00:04:27,827
Nothing to be afraid of.

148
00:04:27,828 --> 00:04:29,269
All your friends are here.

149
00:04:29,270 --> 00:04:31,367
They just want to help.

150
00:04:31,919 --> 00:04:33,263
I'm here for the cookies.

151
00:04:33,264 --> 00:04:34,228
So what do we do?

152
00:04:34,229 --> 00:04:35,244
Well, with your permission,

153
00:04:35,245 --> 00:04:36,586
I'd like to put you into a state

154
00:04:36,587 --> 00:04:39,391
of christmasnosis

155
00:04:39,392 --> 00:04:42,077
and take you on a magic journey.

156
00:04:42,078 --> 00:04:43,070
To winter wonderland?

157
00:04:43,071 --> 00:04:43,932
Sure.

158
00:04:43,933 --> 00:04:46,275
Your own personal winter wonderland.

159
00:04:46,276 --> 00:04:47,490
Come on, everyone.

160
00:04:47,491 --> 00:04:50,010
You all know how magic
Christmas journeys work.

161
00:04:50,011 --> 00:04:51,056
Mm-hmm.

162
00:04:51,057 --> 00:04:52,679
You are playing with so much fire.

163
00:04:52,680 --> 00:04:53,899
Shut up, Winger.

164
00:04:53,900 --> 00:04:55,417
Hands on the table.

165
00:04:55,443 --> 00:04:56,932
Eyes closed.

166
00:04:56,950 --> 00:04:58,193
Heads relaxing.

167
00:04:58,199 --> 00:04:59,609
Necks relaxing.

168
00:04:59,610 --> 00:05:01,703
Don't relax Pierce any lower.

169
00:05:01,704 --> 00:05:02,569
Screw you.

170
00:05:02,570 --> 00:05:05,300
Abed, focus on the sound of my voice,

171
00:05:05,301 --> 00:05:07,319
and let yourself relax.

172
00:05:07,320 --> 00:05:09,314
With each breath, you'll feel...

173
00:05:09,315 --> 00:05:10,634
- It's beginning.
- All right, then.

174
00:05:10,635 --> 00:05:11,515
The table's moving.

175
00:05:11,516 --> 00:05:13,539
Shaking like a rocket about to take off.

176
00:05:13,556 --> 00:05:14,839
Now it's leaving the floor

177
00:05:14,840 --> 00:05:16,303
as the walls and the ceiling fly away.

178
00:05:16,867 --> 00:05:19,007
We're in outer Christmas space.

179
00:05:19,160 --> 00:05:20,466
There's planet holly.

180
00:05:20,550 --> 00:05:21,910
And planet jolly.

181
00:05:22,241 --> 00:05:24,274
Oh, and what's that up ahead?

182
00:05:24,275 --> 00:05:26,390
Ah, it's planet Abed.

183
00:05:26,391 --> 00:05:27,022
Subtle.

184
00:05:27,023 --> 00:05:27,931
Yeah, we're actually descending

185
00:05:27,932 --> 00:05:29,057
onto planet Abed now.

186
00:05:29,058 --> 00:05:31,047
It's the most christmassy planet
in the universe.

187
00:05:31,048 --> 00:05:32,894
Its atmosphere is 7% cinnamon.

188
00:05:32,900 --> 00:05:34,161
Awww.

189
00:05:38,365 --> 00:05:40,159
We're here. Winter wonderland.

190
00:05:40,160 --> 00:05:41,112
See how sparkly?

191
00:05:41,113 --> 00:05:42,770
What, are you crazy?
All I see is the study...

192
00:05:42,771 --> 00:05:44,807
Ooh, sparkly wonderland.

193
00:05:44,808 --> 00:05:46,192
You might notice that during our journey,

194
00:05:46,193 --> 00:05:47,680
you've transformed into Christmas versions

195
00:05:47,681 --> 00:05:48,726
of yourselves.

196
00:05:48,727 --> 00:05:49,929
Jeff-in-the-box.

197
00:05:52,237 --> 00:05:53,205
Uh-huh.

198
00:05:53,206 --> 00:05:54,358
Troy soldier.

199
00:05:54,757 --> 00:05:56,476
Cool! Do I have a gun?

200
00:05:56,477 --> 00:05:58,135
- You have a drum.
- Cool.

201
00:05:58,136 --> 00:05:59,680
Britta, you're Britta-bot.

202
00:05:59,731 --> 00:06:00,982
- Uh...
- Just go with it.

203
00:06:00,983 --> 00:06:02,364
Bleep, bloop.

204
00:06:02,365 --> 00:06:03,542
Teddy Pierce.

205
00:06:04,228 --> 00:06:05,850
Bleep, bloop for me, too.

206
00:06:05,851 --> 00:06:07,049
Ballerannie.

207
00:06:07,638 --> 00:06:08,396
Oh.

208
00:06:08,397 --> 00:06:09,720
Baby doll Shirley.

209
00:06:10,126 --> 00:06:11,901
Baby what? What the hell?

210
00:06:12,279 --> 00:06:14,322
Well, we are making fabulous

211
00:06:14,323 --> 00:06:16,813
and unexpectedly intense progress.

212
00:06:16,814 --> 00:06:18,076
Now, what I'd like to do

213
00:06:18,077 --> 00:06:22,479
is visit the cave of frozen memories.

214
00:06:22,480 --> 00:06:23,979
Pass. Let's head for the north pole.

215
00:06:23,980 --> 00:06:25,612
The meaning of Christmas will be there.

216
00:06:25,642 --> 00:06:27,188
Um, well, yeah.

217
00:06:27,189 --> 00:06:28,295
Yeah, sure. Cheers.

218
00:06:28,296 --> 00:06:30,323
And I actually think I know a shortcut

219
00:06:30,324 --> 00:06:31,331
to the north pole

220
00:06:31,332 --> 00:06:34,066
through the cave of frozen memor...

221
00:06:34,067 --> 00:06:35,214
Fine, I guess we can take gumdrop road

222
00:06:35,215 --> 00:06:36,784
through Carol Canyon
and stop at the cave.

223
00:06:36,785 --> 00:06:37,913
I wouldn't call it a shortcut,

224
00:06:37,914 --> 00:06:39,853
but you got us here,
so I'll throw you a bone.

225
00:06:40,413 --> 00:06:41,605
♪ Come with me

226
00:06:41,606 --> 00:06:42,871
and walk with me

227
00:06:42,872 --> 00:06:45,069
and see what we can find.

228
00:06:45,356 --> 00:06:46,513
♪ Accompany me

229
00:06:46,514 --> 00:06:47,953
on a journey with me

230
00:06:47,954 --> 00:06:50,032
through the wonderland

231
00:06:50,033 --> 00:06:52,586
in my mind. *

232
00:06:53,396 --> 00:06:54,530
Let's move, folks.

233
00:06:54,531 --> 00:06:57,466
This isn't going to be fun, easy, or safe.

234
00:07:03,094 --> 00:07:04,214
Shut up, Winger.

235
00:07:04,215 --> 00:07:05,446
Mm-hmm.

236
00:07:12,041 --> 00:07:12,987
Fair warning, guys.

237
00:07:12,988 --> 00:07:14,067
A journey through winter wonderland

238
00:07:14,068 --> 00:07:15,842
tends to test your commitment to Christmas.

239
00:07:15,843 --> 00:07:17,808
And when I say test, I mean wonka style.

240
00:07:17,809 --> 00:07:19,110
I'm talkin' dark.

241
00:07:19,226 --> 00:07:21,519
Stay honest, stay alert,

242
00:07:21,520 --> 00:07:22,877
and for the love of God,

243
00:07:22,878 --> 00:07:24,453
stay between the gumdrops.

244
00:07:25,081 --> 00:07:26,649
Look up there, Abed.

245
00:07:26,650 --> 00:07:30,543
I think I see the cave of frozen memories.

246
00:07:30,544 --> 00:07:31,652
A great place...

247
00:07:31,653 --> 00:07:33,017
It's actually the cave of frozen peas.

248
00:07:33,018 --> 00:07:34,167
It's a common mistake.

249
00:07:34,168 --> 00:07:35,272
Don't worry, Christmas wizard.

250
00:07:35,273 --> 00:07:36,119
I got this.

251
00:07:36,120 --> 00:07:37,159
Terrific.

252
00:07:39,122 --> 00:07:41,584
Abed, did you say my Christmas self

253
00:07:41,585 --> 00:07:42,633
was a baby?

254
00:07:42,634 --> 00:07:45,144
Are you sure you didn't say
I was a Christmas angel?

255
00:07:45,145 --> 00:07:46,529
I think that must be what you said, right?

256
00:07:46,530 --> 00:07:47,451
Because you respect me too much

257
00:07:47,452 --> 00:07:48,398
to imagine me as a baby.

258
00:07:48,399 --> 00:07:50,502
Jeez, maybe if you cry enough,
he'll change you.

259
00:07:50,503 --> 00:07:52,523
Uh, you do know why he said
you were a robot, right?

260
00:07:52,524 --> 00:07:54,400
Because I'm progressive and kick ass.

261
00:07:54,401 --> 00:07:55,971
How 'bout heartless and godless?

262
00:07:55,972 --> 00:07:57,787
I think he just gave us random identities,

263
00:07:57,788 --> 00:07:58,472
you guys.

264
00:07:58,473 --> 00:08:00,193
I mean, me, a ballerina?

265
00:08:00,194 --> 00:08:03,200
It's not like I'm that thin and graceful.

266
00:08:03,201 --> 00:08:04,026
Right?

267
00:08:04,027 --> 00:08:07,432
Annie, it's because you're fragile
and tightly wound.

268
00:08:08,647 --> 00:08:09,452
Oh!

269
00:08:09,453 --> 00:08:11,075
Ladies, cut the non-thematic chatter,

270
00:08:11,076 --> 00:08:12,482
and keep your eyes on the prize.

271
00:08:12,578 --> 00:08:14,032
We're looking for the meaning of Christmas.

272
00:08:14,033 --> 00:08:15,161
Uh, you know what, Abed?

273
00:08:15,162 --> 00:08:16,689
I happen to know the meaning of Christmas.

274
00:08:16,690 --> 00:08:18,529
And I'm pretty sure I'm the only one
here that does.

275
00:08:18,530 --> 00:08:20,654
So I would appreciate
a certain level of respect,

276
00:08:20,655 --> 00:08:21,588
even if I am a guest

277
00:08:21,589 --> 00:08:23,249
in your make-believe therapy wonderland.

278
00:08:23,250 --> 00:08:24,614
- Therapy?
- All right!

279
00:08:24,615 --> 00:08:27,346
I am freezing Shirley with my wand.

280
00:08:27,897 --> 00:08:30,791
And I am ejecting her from planet Abed

281
00:08:30,792 --> 00:08:36,519
with a remote control
Christmas pterodactyl.

282
00:08:37,563 --> 00:08:39,700
- Oh, nice.
- Now we're talking.

283
00:08:41,578 --> 00:08:43,276
The point being, if you're not interested

284
00:08:43,277 --> 00:08:44,176
in helping Abed,

285
00:08:44,177 --> 00:08:45,835
there's no reason to be here.

286
00:08:46,830 --> 00:08:47,936
Cookies.

287
00:08:49,575 --> 00:08:51,861
♪ Swaddled in her diaper

288
00:08:51,877 --> 00:08:53,877
high upon her throne

289
00:08:53,924 --> 00:08:55,942
the queen of Christmas babies

290
00:08:55,943 --> 00:08:59,576
thought that Christmas was her own. *

291
00:09:00,693 --> 00:09:02,810
That's wonderful.

292
00:09:02,811 --> 00:09:04,184
Let's get back to the magic journey

293
00:09:04,185 --> 00:09:04,968
and wrap up.

294
00:09:04,969 --> 00:09:06,368
Some of us have women to sleep with.

295
00:09:06,369 --> 00:09:07,474
You guys hear that?

296
00:09:07,714 --> 00:09:08,761
Humbugs.

297
00:09:08,762 --> 00:09:11,048
- Humbugs?
- Yeah, a whole swarm of them.

298
00:09:11,049 --> 00:09:11,996
See?

299
00:09:14,509 --> 00:09:15,962
Everyone stay perfectly sincere.

300
00:09:15,963 --> 00:09:17,677
Humbugs are attracted to sarcasm.

301
00:09:17,678 --> 00:09:18,430
Wow.

302
00:09:18,431 --> 00:09:20,256
Somewhere out there,
Tim Burton just got a boner.

303
00:09:20,257 --> 00:09:21,996
Jeff, don't be sarcastic.

304
00:09:21,997 --> 00:09:23,422
Oh, are they on me now?

305
00:09:23,423 --> 00:09:24,930
Oh, no.

306
00:09:24,931 --> 00:09:26,204
They're eating him alive.

307
00:09:26,205 --> 00:09:27,733
If only he could find the power

308
00:09:27,734 --> 00:09:29,350
to not be a smug douche.

309
00:09:29,351 --> 00:09:30,873
Ah, no can do.

310
00:09:30,874 --> 00:09:32,388
I'm just a horrible guy.

311
00:09:32,391 --> 00:09:35,383
Guess I'll have to go get laid...

312
00:09:38,500 --> 00:09:40,345
Ooh, can I sing this one?

313
00:09:41,561 --> 00:09:43,741
Bitter shallow hipster

314
00:09:43,742 --> 00:09:46,024
sweater matching socks

315
00:09:46,025 --> 00:09:47,877
Christmas needs more presence

316
00:09:47,878 --> 00:09:51,656
than a haircut in a box.

317
00:09:52,075 --> 00:09:53,504
Annie, nice.

318
00:09:53,505 --> 00:09:55,491
Get what I did with the word presence?

319
00:09:57,190 --> 00:09:58,280
This is Carol canyon.

320
00:09:58,281 --> 00:09:59,133
Instead of oxygen,

321
00:09:59,134 --> 00:10:00,496
the plants produce Christmas songs.

322
00:10:00,497 --> 00:10:01,915
Will it cost a lot to walk through here?

323
00:10:01,916 --> 00:10:02,987
No, no, it's public domain.

324
00:10:02,988 --> 00:10:04,249
You guys know Jesus was born

325
00:10:04,250 --> 00:10:05,918
in the middle of April, right?

326
00:10:05,919 --> 00:10:07,710
The church moved his birthday to December

327
00:10:07,711 --> 00:10:09,139
so they could steal the solstice

328
00:10:09,140 --> 00:10:10,202
from the pagans.

329
00:10:10,203 --> 00:10:12,772
Season's greetings from Britta Perry.

330
00:10:12,920 --> 00:10:14,692
Maybe you could sing
a song about it, Britta.

331
00:10:14,693 --> 00:10:15,777
I don't sing.

332
00:10:15,778 --> 00:10:18,466
And if I did, I wouldn't sing
Christmas songs.

333
00:10:18,737 --> 00:10:20,159
I guess that means
you're gonna have me ejected

334
00:10:20,160 --> 00:10:21,543
from winter wonderland

335
00:10:21,544 --> 00:10:23,247
for not loving Christmas enough.

336
00:10:23,248 --> 00:10:24,581
Nope, not for that.

337
00:10:24,903 --> 00:10:26,646
Let's get to the cave of frozen memories.

338
00:10:27,205 --> 00:10:29,713
Man, it is cave-like in here.

339
00:10:29,714 --> 00:10:31,629
What do you mean, cave-like? It's a cave.

340
00:10:31,863 --> 00:10:33,032
Nothing to be afraid of.

341
00:10:33,033 --> 00:10:36,233
The cave of frozen memories is a safe place

342
00:10:36,234 --> 00:10:39,788
where we can observe suppressed experiences

343
00:10:39,789 --> 00:10:42,203
without being affected by them.

344
00:10:42,204 --> 00:10:43,350
Can you show me how to do it?

345
00:10:43,558 --> 00:10:44,454
Sure.

346
00:10:44,455 --> 00:10:47,187
Here, I'm focusing on a part of the cave,

347
00:10:47,188 --> 00:10:49,705
and I'm seeing my tenth Christmas.

348
00:10:49,706 --> 00:10:50,453
All right?

349
00:10:50,454 --> 00:10:52,330
Now you try with this morning.

350
00:10:52,959 --> 00:10:54,466
I can't see your tenth Christmas.

351
00:10:54,467 --> 00:10:55,632
How do you even know that's you?

352
00:10:55,633 --> 00:10:58,707
Well, it's my house on 52nd street

353
00:10:58,708 --> 00:10:59,672
in Islington.

354
00:10:59,673 --> 00:11:01,558
What room are you in?
What color are the walls?

355
00:11:01,559 --> 00:11:02,815
Our living room.

356
00:11:02,816 --> 00:11:04,326
Cream-colored plaster.

357
00:11:04,698 --> 00:11:06,097
There's an oil painting of a forest

358
00:11:06,098 --> 00:11:07,468
above the sofa.

359
00:11:07,908 --> 00:11:09,781
I'm reading Paddington books.

360
00:11:10,114 --> 00:11:12,480
Mom got me Paddington every year.

361
00:11:12,481 --> 00:11:13,662
Where's your dad?

362
00:11:13,901 --> 00:11:15,316
It's Christmas, professor.

363
00:11:15,317 --> 00:11:16,151
Where is your dad?

364
00:11:16,152 --> 00:11:18,405
I don't know! We never know!

365
00:11:18,406 --> 00:11:20,128
Mom won't stop crying!

366
00:11:20,129 --> 00:11:22,795
I'm going to America with grandma!

367
00:11:28,539 --> 00:11:30,315
He is good.

368
00:11:30,316 --> 00:11:31,550
We lost our wizard.

369
00:11:31,551 --> 00:11:32,950
We don't need him. Never did.

370
00:11:32,951 --> 00:11:34,497
And nobody needs this cave.

371
00:11:35,896 --> 00:11:37,296
Initiate self-destruct.

372
00:11:37,297 --> 00:11:39,640
Self-destruct initiating.

373
00:11:40,967 --> 00:11:43,422
This slide goes directly
to pine tree station.

374
00:11:43,423 --> 00:11:45,241
We can catch a train
to the north pole from there.

375
00:11:45,781 --> 00:11:46,624
The wizard didn't bring us here

376
00:11:46,625 --> 00:11:47,974
to find the meaning of Christmas.

377
00:11:47,975 --> 00:11:49,488
And I can't have anyone
going beyond this point

378
00:11:49,489 --> 00:11:50,797
that's on his side.

379
00:11:52,404 --> 00:11:53,673
With you to the end, man.

380
00:11:54,089 --> 00:11:55,302
Always.

381
00:12:01,245 --> 00:12:03,043
Like I said, I came for the cookies.

382
00:12:03,044 --> 00:12:04,036
Ouch!

383
00:12:04,435 --> 00:12:05,228
I'm not ejecting you

384
00:12:05,229 --> 00:12:06,832
for your not liking Christmas music,
Britta.

385
00:12:06,833 --> 00:12:07,986
I'm ejecting you for lying

386
00:12:07,987 --> 00:12:09,200
to trick me into therapy.

387
00:12:09,201 --> 00:12:12,325
Abed, they will kick you out of school.

388
00:12:12,338 --> 00:12:14,303
I was trying to save you.

389
00:12:14,985 --> 00:12:16,959
♪ Britta-bot ♪

390
00:12:16,960 --> 00:12:19,209
♪ programmed badly ♪

391
00:12:19,525 --> 00:12:23,723
♪ wires with fraying ends ♪

392
00:12:23,975 --> 00:12:26,006
♪ functioning ♪

393
00:12:26,007 --> 00:12:28,319
♪ mad and sadly ♪

394
00:12:28,605 --> 00:12:32,240
♪ no faith in herself ♪

395
00:12:32,530 --> 00:12:35,463
♪ or friends. ♪

396
00:12:37,746 --> 00:12:38,757
bye, Britta.

397
00:12:51,867 --> 00:12:54,475
Damn, it got real up in that memory cave.

398
00:12:54,476 --> 00:12:55,767
I know, right?

399
00:12:55,768 --> 00:12:57,474
Speaking of real, this has been great.

400
00:12:57,475 --> 00:12:58,497
But the cookies are gone,

401
00:12:58,498 --> 00:13:00,103
and I have to take a giant leak.

402
00:13:02,399 --> 00:13:03,433
We should be at the north pole

403
00:13:03,434 --> 00:13:05,373
00 eastern candy time.

404
00:13:05,475 --> 00:13:06,888
You guys see the countryside?

405
00:13:07,133 --> 00:13:08,506
There's the menorah mountains.

406
00:13:08,507 --> 00:13:09,822
And Jehovah witness bay.

407
00:13:09,828 --> 00:13:11,351
Thanks for adding that, man.

408
00:13:12,599 --> 00:13:14,513
This is nicer than all the Christmases

409
00:13:14,514 --> 00:13:15,888
I ever celebrated.

410
00:13:15,889 --> 00:13:16,881
But you're Jewish.

411
00:13:16,882 --> 00:13:18,072
On my mom's side.

412
00:13:18,073 --> 00:13:19,738
But my dad's episcopalian.

413
00:13:19,739 --> 00:13:21,280
And before the divorce,

414
00:13:21,281 --> 00:13:24,064
the holidays were a minefield
of overlapping rituals.

415
00:13:24,065 --> 00:13:25,400
I like the rituals.

416
00:13:25,616 --> 00:13:27,142
My parents are divorced, too.

417
00:13:27,416 --> 00:13:28,526
My mom's Polish.

418
00:13:28,527 --> 00:13:29,894
She loves Christmas.

419
00:13:29,895 --> 00:13:31,783
Every year, she visits on the same day.

420
00:13:31,784 --> 00:13:32,791
December 9th.

421
00:13:32,792 --> 00:13:34,004
And every year, we sit and watch

422
00:13:34,005 --> 00:13:36,358
Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer together,

423
00:13:36,542 --> 00:13:37,583
every year.

424
00:13:39,021 --> 00:13:41,515
But, Abed, today is December 9th.

425
00:13:41,874 --> 00:13:43,925
It's the last day of classes.

426
00:13:45,447 --> 00:13:46,365
Yeah.

427
00:13:46,366 --> 00:13:47,456
That can't be right.

428
00:13:47,457 --> 00:13:48,624
She comes every year.

429
00:13:48,745 --> 00:13:50,216
Today must be December 8th.

430
00:13:50,966 --> 00:13:52,222
'Cause she comes every year.

431
00:13:56,251 --> 00:13:57,275
Okay, Abed.

432
00:13:57,276 --> 00:13:58,693
Time to stop the train.

433
00:13:58,758 --> 00:14:01,172
After you emasculated me in the ice caves,

434
00:14:01,173 --> 00:14:02,922
I went to your dorm room.

435
00:14:02,930 --> 00:14:04,527
I know what happened now.

436
00:14:04,528 --> 00:14:05,157
It doesn't matter.

437
00:14:05,158 --> 00:14:06,230
I just need to get to the north pole.

438
00:14:06,231 --> 00:14:08,391
Abed, there is no north pole.

439
00:14:08,392 --> 00:14:09,934
We're in the library study room,

440
00:14:09,935 --> 00:14:11,763
and I'm not a Christmas wizard.

441
00:14:11,764 --> 00:14:12,477
I know.

442
00:14:12,478 --> 00:14:14,085
You're a Christmas warlock.

443
00:14:14,864 --> 00:14:16,031
You're trying to destroy Christmas

444
00:14:16,032 --> 00:14:17,523
because you blame your sadness on it.

445
00:14:17,524 --> 00:14:18,775
I'm crawling out the window.

446
00:14:18,776 --> 00:14:19,777
No, you're not.

447
00:14:19,778 --> 00:14:21,186
Snap out of it.

448
00:14:21,187 --> 00:14:22,440
Whoa, whoa, who taught you therapy?

449
00:14:22,441 --> 00:14:23,500
Michael Jackson's dad?

450
00:14:23,501 --> 00:14:25,001
I am a professional.

451
00:14:25,002 --> 00:14:25,847
And you are tampering

452
00:14:25,848 --> 00:14:27,705
with a highly delicate book deal.

453
00:14:27,706 --> 00:14:29,524
I mean, human being.

454
00:14:29,669 --> 00:14:30,925
Oh, now we're losing him.

455
00:14:30,926 --> 00:14:32,145
I'm on the roof of the train.

456
00:14:32,146 --> 00:14:32,971
Oh, great.

457
00:14:32,972 --> 00:14:35,205
Well, I'm teleporting there.

458
00:14:35,206 --> 00:14:36,588
Because I can do that.

459
00:14:36,589 --> 00:14:38,421
'Cause I'm a wizard.

460
00:14:38,422 --> 00:14:39,478
Bloink!

461
00:14:40,938 --> 00:14:43,064
Abed, there is no train.

462
00:14:43,065 --> 00:14:44,759
This is not real!

463
00:14:44,760 --> 00:14:45,811
I can't hear you.

464
00:14:45,812 --> 00:14:47,245
I'm going to the front car.

465
00:14:47,798 --> 00:14:48,972
You're very clever.

466
00:14:48,973 --> 00:14:50,701
But it stops here.

467
00:14:50,713 --> 00:14:52,196
There's no more journey.

468
00:14:52,197 --> 00:14:54,228
It's just you against reality.

469
00:14:54,229 --> 00:14:56,945
And reality always wins.

470
00:14:57,000 --> 00:14:58,150
Abed!

471
00:14:58,151 --> 00:15:00,142
I'm unhitching the cars, okay?

472
00:15:00,413 --> 00:15:02,583
What? Oh, give me a break.

473
00:15:02,584 --> 00:15:04,058
Do you know what you're doing?

474
00:15:04,059 --> 00:15:06,035
Bloink! We're learning to teleport.

475
00:15:06,036 --> 00:15:07,866
And we're helping our friend
find the meaning

476
00:15:07,867 --> 00:15:08,860
of Christmas.

477
00:15:08,861 --> 00:15:10,197
Hey, you're actually grabbing me

478
00:15:10,198 --> 00:15:11,858
in real life, delinquent!

479
00:15:11,859 --> 00:15:13,482
We'll keep him away, Abed!

480
00:15:13,483 --> 00:15:14,341
Go!

481
00:15:14,342 --> 00:15:16,208
Find the meaning of Christmas!

482
00:15:16,209 --> 00:15:17,485
At the very least,

483
00:15:17,486 --> 00:15:19,113
take notes!

484
00:15:36,843 --> 00:15:38,536
Whoof. All right, where are we?

485
00:15:38,537 --> 00:15:39,665
Christmas train?

486
00:15:40,925 --> 00:15:42,408
I didn't wanna go home.

487
00:15:42,481 --> 00:15:44,376
It's depressing there this time of year.

488
00:16:00,013 --> 00:16:01,423
What are we looking at?

489
00:16:02,485 --> 00:16:03,751
Santa's workshop.

490
00:16:10,075 --> 00:16:10,673
Okay.

491
00:16:10,674 --> 00:16:12,408
So, meaning of Christmas, right?

492
00:16:12,518 --> 00:16:13,585
You see it?

493
00:16:14,429 --> 00:16:16,116
Well, can it just be anywhere?

494
00:16:16,186 --> 00:16:18,178
Like...There?

495
00:16:20,127 --> 00:16:21,304
Good job, Pierce.

496
00:16:33,879 --> 00:16:36,073
It's the first season of lost on DVD.

497
00:16:36,306 --> 00:16:38,032
That's the meaning of Christmas?

498
00:16:38,033 --> 00:16:39,389
No, it's a metaphor.

499
00:16:39,390 --> 00:16:40,785
It represents lack of payoff.

500
00:16:40,786 --> 00:16:41,989
Correct.

501
00:16:41,990 --> 00:16:43,551
Thinking there was something you could do

502
00:16:43,552 --> 00:16:44,901
to save Christmas,

503
00:16:44,902 --> 00:16:47,317
turning yourself into an animated character

504
00:16:47,318 --> 00:16:49,113
in search of the holiday's meaning,

505
00:16:49,114 --> 00:16:53,137
these were mechanisms you used
to escape this.

506
00:16:54,299 --> 00:16:55,625
This Christmas card.

507
00:16:55,626 --> 00:16:57,469
Left where you dropped it

508
00:16:57,470 --> 00:16:59,166
on the floor of your dorm.

509
00:16:59,637 --> 00:17:00,786
"Abed,

510
00:17:00,833 --> 00:17:02,504
"I can't make it this year.

511
00:17:02,840 --> 00:17:04,591
"I have a new family now.

512
00:17:04,846 --> 00:17:06,224
"You'll meet them one day.

513
00:17:06,531 --> 00:17:07,862
"You're a man now.

514
00:17:08,264 --> 00:17:09,686
"Take care of dad.

515
00:17:10,246 --> 00:17:11,522
Wash your dupa."

516
00:17:12,249 --> 00:17:13,696
Mommy's moved on.

517
00:17:14,534 --> 00:17:15,734
New family.

518
00:17:15,830 --> 00:17:16,963
New life.

519
00:17:17,873 --> 00:17:19,202
There's nothing left to do now

520
00:17:19,203 --> 00:17:20,545
but heal.

521
00:17:20,637 --> 00:17:22,874
And share the experience

522
00:17:22,875 --> 00:17:26,735
with as many reputable journals
as possible.

523
00:17:27,986 --> 00:17:28,871
Great.

524
00:17:28,872 --> 00:17:30,208
Look what you did to the kid.

525
00:17:30,209 --> 00:17:31,509
What's your article gonna be called?

526
00:17:31,510 --> 00:17:32,464
"Worst shrink ever"?

527
00:17:32,465 --> 00:17:34,389
Hey, this is not my fault.

528
00:17:34,390 --> 00:17:36,515
This is what Christmas does to people.

529
00:17:36,516 --> 00:17:38,209
We put too much meaning into it,

530
00:17:38,210 --> 00:17:39,625
and it lets us down.

531
00:17:40,292 --> 00:17:41,662
We beg to differ.

532
00:17:41,663 --> 00:17:42,885
What are you doing back here?

533
00:17:42,886 --> 00:17:44,436
Saving Christmas.

534
00:17:44,437 --> 00:17:47,935
Everybody point your magic Christmas
weapons at him.

535
00:17:49,110 --> 00:17:50,134
Oh, brother.

536
00:17:50,135 --> 00:17:51,267
This is ridiculous.

537
00:17:51,268 --> 00:17:53,468
You are enabling a delusion.

538
00:17:53,469 --> 00:17:54,877
The delusion you're trying to cure

539
00:17:54,878 --> 00:17:57,061
is called Christmas, Duncan.

540
00:17:57,062 --> 00:17:58,192
It's the crazy notion

541
00:17:58,193 --> 00:18:00,840
that the longest, coldest, darkest nights

542
00:18:00,841 --> 00:18:02,876
can be the warmest and brightest.

543
00:18:02,877 --> 00:18:05,228
Yeah, and when we all agree
to support each other

544
00:18:05,229 --> 00:18:06,491
in that insanity,

545
00:18:06,492 --> 00:18:08,976
something even crazier happens.

546
00:18:08,977 --> 00:18:10,483
It becomes true.

547
00:18:10,484 --> 00:18:12,041
Works every year.

548
00:18:12,042 --> 00:18:13,231
Like clockwork.

549
00:18:13,232 --> 00:18:15,708
Try telling that to your catatonic friend.

550
00:18:15,709 --> 00:18:17,034
I got a better idea.

551
00:18:17,035 --> 00:18:18,872
Why don't we sing it?

552
00:18:18,873 --> 00:18:20,984
- Wait... what?
- Yeah, let's not go overboard.

553
00:18:20,985 --> 00:18:22,601
Will you two commit to something
for a change?

554
00:18:22,602 --> 00:18:24,590
- Let's sing it.
- Yeah, let's sing.

555
00:18:24,591 --> 00:18:26,485
Can we sing while we blow Duncan away?

556
00:18:26,486 --> 00:18:27,768
Absolutely.

557
00:18:27,769 --> 00:18:29,417
Ow! Ah, ah!

558
00:18:29,742 --> 00:18:31,087
You start, Britta.

559
00:18:32,252 --> 00:18:35,606
♪ Christmas time is a time to sing ♪

560
00:18:35,607 --> 00:18:38,480
♪ that's what Christmas is for ♪

561
00:18:38,564 --> 00:18:41,699
♪ Christmas can even be a Hanukkah thing ♪

562
00:18:41,718 --> 00:18:44,241
♪ that's what Christmas is for ♪

563
00:18:44,242 --> 00:18:45,984
♪ and for a huge percentage ♪

564
00:18:45,985 --> 00:18:47,512
♪ of this God-fearing planet ♪

565
00:18:47,513 --> 00:18:48,775
♪ it's about the birth ♪

566
00:18:48,776 --> 00:18:52,021
♪ of Jesus Chri-i-ist ♪

567
00:18:52,022 --> 00:18:53,409
♪ but for the rest of us ♪

568
00:18:53,410 --> 00:18:54,856
♪ it's still a good time ♪

569
00:18:54,857 --> 00:18:58,152
♪ to remember that it's good to be nice ♪

570
00:18:58,153 --> 00:19:01,185
♪ music and cookies and licorice dreams ♪

571
00:19:01,186 --> 00:19:03,989
♪ that's what Christmas is for ♪

572
00:19:04,081 --> 00:19:07,326
♪ video games for two straight weeks ♪

573
00:19:07,327 --> 00:19:09,101
♪ that's what Christmas is for. ♪

574
00:19:09,102 --> 00:19:10,165
Hey, not the face.

575
00:19:10,166 --> 00:19:13,116
♪ hanging out with the people you love ♪

576
00:19:13,117 --> 00:19:16,642
♪ and saying I love you ♪

577
00:19:17,568 --> 00:19:20,591
♪ that's what Christmas is ♪

578
00:19:20,592 --> 00:19:23,562
♪ that's what Christmas is ♪

579
00:19:23,563 --> 00:19:27,445
♪ that's what Christmas ♪

580
00:19:27,446 --> 00:19:29,758
♪ is for... ♪

581
00:19:29,759 --> 00:19:33,927
And...Christmas pterodactyl!

582
00:19:35,242 --> 00:19:37,015
All right, all right. I'm leaving.

583
00:19:37,016 --> 00:19:39,373
Initiate self-destruct.

584
00:19:39,630 --> 00:19:41,514
Don't you think that's a little bit...

585
00:19:52,734 --> 00:19:53,764
I get it.

586
00:19:54,318 --> 00:19:55,970
The meaning of Christmas is...

587
00:19:56,128 --> 00:19:57,857
The idea that Christmas has meaning.

588
00:19:58,152 --> 00:19:59,700
And it can mean whatever we want.

589
00:19:59,909 --> 00:20:01,902
For me, it used to mean being with my mom.

590
00:20:02,775 --> 00:20:04,230
Now it means being with you guys.

591
00:20:06,442 --> 00:20:07,682
Thanks, lost.

592
00:20:13,915 --> 00:20:14,847
Wow.

593
00:20:15,155 --> 00:20:16,530
I feel so much better now.

594
00:20:16,831 --> 00:20:18,654
I guess we don't need to be
stop-motion anymore.

595
00:20:18,658 --> 00:20:20,476
Well, why not just keep it going

596
00:20:20,477 --> 00:20:21,944
for the rest of Christmas?

597
00:20:22,353 --> 00:20:25,075
It just feels so right.

598
00:20:30,442 --> 00:20:32,242
You ever get the urge to just...

599
00:20:32,952 --> 00:20:34,539
"Merry Christmas!"

600
00:20:34,760 --> 00:20:36,461
Ah, there.

601
00:20:36,462 --> 00:20:37,473
Said it.

602
00:20:51,970 --> 00:20:53,043
We're stop-motion again.

603
00:20:53,044 --> 00:20:54,468
Oh, don't worry, man. I did this.

604
00:20:54,469 --> 00:20:56,135
- You did?
- Yeah, it's cool.

605
00:20:56,136 --> 00:20:57,451
Oh. Why?

606
00:20:57,452 --> 00:20:59,135
Well, I always liked the way
fake food looked

607
00:20:59,136 --> 00:21:00,263
on those animated shows.

608
00:21:00,264 --> 00:21:02,331
I mean, get a load of these things.

609
00:21:02,332 --> 00:21:03,724
They really stepped up a notch

610
00:21:03,725 --> 00:21:05,318
in terms of visual deliciousness.

611
00:21:05,319 --> 00:21:06,098
I know what you mean.

612
00:21:06,099 --> 00:21:07,410
Look at that perfect bite.

613
00:21:07,792 --> 00:21:08,814
It's a little odd that I see this,
too, though,

614
00:21:08,815 --> 00:21:09,701
don't you think?

615
00:21:09,702 --> 00:21:12,604
Yeah. We're weird that way.

616
00:21:14,302 --> 00:21:15,817
Ah, that's better.

617
00:21:15,818 --> 00:21:17,149
So weird.

618
00:21:17,150 --> 00:21:19,460
Troy and Abed in stop-motion

619
00:21:19,623 --> 00:21:23,643
www.addic7ed.com