1 00:00:04,084 --> 00:00:05,300 Look, 12 o'clock. 2 00:00:05,319 --> 00:00:07,205 The "History of Ice Cream" class is letting out. 3 00:00:07,217 --> 00:00:09,443 It's as informative as it is delicious! 4 00:00:09,493 --> 00:00:11,394 That class should've been ours. 5 00:00:11,433 --> 00:00:13,628 I hear the final is a sundae bar. 6 00:00:13,647 --> 00:00:15,059 - Mm. - I don't get history. 7 00:00:15,084 --> 00:00:17,255 If I wanted to know what happened in Europe a long time ago, 8 00:00:17,286 --> 00:00:18,553 I'd watch Game of Thrones. 9 00:00:18,630 --> 00:00:20,768 Troy, that show takes place in a fantasy realm. 10 00:00:20,786 --> 00:00:22,393 This class is about the real world. 11 00:00:23,416 --> 00:00:24,641 Not the show. 12 00:00:24,918 --> 00:00:26,708 You need to think before you speak. 13 00:00:26,739 --> 00:00:28,410 I heard this teacher's a real hard-ass. 14 00:00:28,428 --> 00:00:31,462 - He's British, and he has a degree. - I can't have a hard-buns teacher. 15 00:00:31,486 --> 00:00:32,897 I'm already starting a new business. 16 00:00:32,921 --> 00:00:34,321 When am I supposed to see my family? 17 00:00:34,340 --> 00:00:36,190 And last week, Ben took his first steps without me. 18 00:00:36,216 --> 00:00:37,216 Quick impression. "Wah." 19 00:00:37,246 --> 00:00:38,635 Who am I? You guys. 20 00:00:38,666 --> 00:00:39,879 Ha! Dead on. 21 00:00:40,303 --> 00:00:41,801 I know "The History of Ice Cream" 22 00:00:41,820 --> 00:00:42,983 would have been fun, 23 00:00:43,020 --> 00:00:45,694 but not only will this class be much less likely 24 00:00:45,719 --> 00:00:47,152 to give us type 2 diabetes. 25 00:00:47,183 --> 00:00:50,202 We might actually learn so... n of a bitch! 26 00:00:51,598 --> 00:00:53,433 Those annoying Germans are back? 27 00:00:53,458 --> 00:00:55,060 I thought they transferred after they lost 28 00:00:55,078 --> 00:00:56,363 their foosball scholarship. 29 00:00:56,387 --> 00:00:57,857 I heard they were juicing. 30 00:00:57,872 --> 00:01:00,857 No, them leaving would mean Greendale got slightly better, 31 00:01:00,875 --> 00:01:03,721 which, as we know, does not happen. 32 00:01:03,869 --> 00:01:06,510 Lukas, Karl, I see you've grown a new douche bag. 33 00:01:06,541 --> 00:01:08,233 My name is Reinhold. 34 00:01:08,290 --> 00:01:10,892 I believe you know my brother Juergen. 35 00:01:10,938 --> 00:01:13,802 There vas some bad blood between you two, ja? 36 00:01:14,552 --> 00:01:15,521 Don't worry. 37 00:01:15,544 --> 00:01:17,438 If there is one thing Germans don't do, 38 00:01:17,456 --> 00:01:18,594 it's hold a grudge. 39 00:01:18,620 --> 00:01:20,018 Unless we're talking about Die Hard 3. 40 00:01:20,042 --> 00:01:22,116 Or the 20th century. 41 00:01:22,821 --> 00:01:23,907 Morning, everyone. 42 00:01:23,953 --> 00:01:25,203 Morning. 43 00:01:25,816 --> 00:01:27,915 I am Professor Cornwallis. 44 00:01:27,934 --> 00:01:29,679 I know what you're all thinking, 45 00:01:29,706 --> 00:01:31,955 and the answer is... 46 00:01:32,388 --> 00:01:34,995 Yes. I am a direct descendant 47 00:01:35,019 --> 00:01:37,907 of general Sir Charles Cornwallis, 48 00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:40,620 who surrendered the British forces at Yorktown. 49 00:01:40,632 --> 00:01:42,083 Was anyone thinking that? 50 00:01:42,102 --> 00:01:42,933 No. 51 00:01:42,958 --> 00:01:45,306 History is written... 52 00:01:45,794 --> 00:01:46,832 By the victors. 53 00:01:46,876 --> 00:01:48,646 Well, of course, we all know the quote. 54 00:01:48,670 --> 00:01:49,637 What does it mean? 55 00:01:49,684 --> 00:01:51,385 According to Oxford University, 56 00:01:51,392 --> 00:01:55,433 it means that my 20 years' loyal service there 57 00:01:55,451 --> 00:01:59,163 means nothing next to a little slipup 58 00:01:59,196 --> 00:02:00,875 with a co-ed. 59 00:02:01,141 --> 00:02:03,079 Ahem. But what it really means 60 00:02:03,116 --> 00:02:05,434 is that history can be seen 61 00:02:05,464 --> 00:02:07,631 from multitude of vantage points. 62 00:02:07,795 --> 00:02:10,030 So, for your first test on Monday... 63 00:02:11,549 --> 00:02:13,561 I'm confused. When do we get our ice cream? 64 00:02:13,586 --> 00:02:15,605 I want to challenge you to look at history 65 00:02:15,624 --> 00:02:17,399 from all perspectives. 66 00:02:17,731 --> 00:02:20,644 How would the story read if it was written 67 00:02:20,682 --> 00:02:22,430 not by the victors, 68 00:02:22,732 --> 00:02:24,351 but by the vanquished? 69 00:02:24,382 --> 00:02:25,795 Ja. 70 00:02:25,909 --> 00:02:29,078 How indeed? 71 00:02:39,103 --> 00:02:40,848 I was recalling a very funny episode 72 00:02:40,891 --> 00:02:42,723 of the German version of The Nanny. 73 00:02:42,910 --> 00:02:45,050 "Franlein" gets a... 74 00:02:45,850 --> 00:02:47,150 It wouldn't translate. 75 00:02:47,900 --> 00:02:49,444 ♪ Give me some rope 76 00:02:49,569 --> 00:02:51,069 ♪ tie me to dream 77 00:02:51,239 --> 00:02:52,730 ♪ give me the hope 78 00:02:52,749 --> 00:02:54,510 ♪ to run out of steam 79 00:02:54,531 --> 00:02:57,827 ♪ somebody said it can be here ♪ 80 00:02:57,840 --> 00:02:59,407 ♪ We could be roped up 81 00:02:59,529 --> 00:03:01,836 ♪ tied up, dead in a year ♪ 82 00:03:01,898 --> 00:03:06,785 ♪ I can't count the reasons I should stay ♪ 83 00:03:06,870 --> 00:03:11,086 ♪ One by one, they all just fade away ♪ 84 00:03:11,105 --> 00:03:13,902 Sync and corrected by Elderfel www.addic7ed.com Resync for WEB-DL by Norther 85 00:03:14,208 --> 00:03:17,044 And I still have those pants. True story. 86 00:03:17,916 --> 00:03:19,191 Oh, we have fun. 87 00:03:20,219 --> 00:03:21,148 Sorry. 88 00:03:21,180 --> 00:03:23,067 I should've realized that might be startling. 89 00:03:23,137 --> 00:03:26,155 Dr. Ken Kedan, greater Greendale mental health services. 90 00:03:26,303 --> 00:03:29,726 Kevin, does this gentleman look familiar to you? 91 00:03:30,264 --> 00:03:32,223 I'm sorry. He doesn't. 92 00:03:32,260 --> 00:03:35,359 Kevin? Uh-uh. His name is Chang. 93 00:03:35,371 --> 00:03:36,972 Oh, of course. 94 00:03:36,998 --> 00:03:39,239 That explains the note. 95 00:03:40,267 --> 00:03:42,498 "Hello, my name is Kevin. I have Changnesia"? 96 00:03:42,513 --> 00:03:43,937 - What is that? - It's not uncommon 97 00:03:43,955 --> 00:03:45,782 for victims of memory loss to experience 98 00:03:45,813 --> 00:03:47,526 some syntactical confusion. 99 00:03:47,712 --> 00:03:49,469 Thus the inappropriate insertion of his name 100 00:03:49,474 --> 00:03:50,682 into an unrelated phrase. 101 00:03:50,698 --> 00:03:52,851 No, he's always Dean that. 102 00:03:52,863 --> 00:03:54,564 Once we learned of the connection to Greendale, 103 00:03:54,589 --> 00:03:56,647 we realized it would be the perfect environment 104 00:03:56,671 --> 00:03:58,188 for some immersive therapy. 105 00:03:58,227 --> 00:04:00,889 What? No, absolutely not. 106 00:04:01,066 --> 00:04:03,592 I can't have an unbalanced nut job 107 00:04:03,617 --> 00:04:05,751 traipsing around on my campus! 108 00:04:05,877 --> 00:04:07,397 Put that on the rack. Put that in the fridge. 109 00:04:07,421 --> 00:04:09,183 Get him out of here! 110 00:04:09,198 --> 00:04:12,031 Sorry. Your school board already signed off on it. 111 00:04:12,100 --> 00:04:14,663 Kevin is now your responsibility. 112 00:04:18,637 --> 00:04:20,011 I just felt a strange disturbance. 113 00:04:20,029 --> 00:04:22,254 - Did you have dairy this morning? - Could be that. 114 00:04:22,317 --> 00:04:24,018 Or it could be that great evil is nearby. 115 00:04:24,162 --> 00:04:25,730 I'll take a provisional lactaid. 116 00:04:26,718 --> 00:04:28,388 Won't be needing the lactaid. 117 00:04:28,422 --> 00:04:31,373 Uh, guys? This is our study room. 118 00:04:31,398 --> 00:04:34,029 Please leave, and take that mushroom cloud of drakkar with you. 119 00:04:34,058 --> 00:04:35,976 Why must he hurt so with his vords? 120 00:04:36,008 --> 00:04:38,094 He's like a less funny Hans Rickles. 121 00:04:38,100 --> 00:04:40,344 I'm not here to argue, Angela Jerk-els. 122 00:04:40,368 --> 00:04:41,931 - Beat it! - Ohhh! 123 00:04:41,949 --> 00:04:44,100 Someone must have changed the channel to USA, 124 00:04:44,140 --> 00:04:45,951 'cause I just watched a burn notice. 125 00:04:45,975 --> 00:04:46,975 Oh. 126 00:04:47,372 --> 00:04:48,839 Who's Angela Jerk-els? 127 00:04:48,859 --> 00:04:50,931 I can assure you, ve are here for no reason 128 00:04:50,944 --> 00:04:52,219 other than to study. 129 00:04:52,243 --> 00:04:53,717 Our usual off-campus haunt, 130 00:04:53,735 --> 00:04:55,751 der kaffee hausen, is closed for the shooting 131 00:04:55,770 --> 00:04:57,651 of an esoteric art film. 132 00:04:57,695 --> 00:04:59,516 Tomorrow it shall re-open, unt we shall be 133 00:04:59,541 --> 00:05:01,955 out of your heavily product-laden hair. 134 00:05:04,220 --> 00:05:07,440 Jeff, it's just a little table in the corner of the room. 135 00:05:07,470 --> 00:05:08,750 Why don't we just let them have it? 136 00:05:08,768 --> 00:05:10,572 Because that's called appeasement. 137 00:05:10,681 --> 00:05:13,643 And everyone knows if you give the Germans something small, 138 00:05:13,661 --> 00:05:15,684 like the study room or Austria, 139 00:05:15,706 --> 00:05:17,123 they end up wanting something big, 140 00:05:17,144 --> 00:05:18,144 like Earth. 141 00:05:18,324 --> 00:05:19,870 - Oh. - Jeff's right. 142 00:05:19,895 --> 00:05:21,514 If there were more people in the world like Annie, 143 00:05:21,540 --> 00:05:23,576 we'd all be speaking vietnamese right now. 144 00:05:24,322 --> 00:05:25,624 That was my war. 145 00:05:25,679 --> 00:05:27,749 I had flashbacks for years. 146 00:05:27,786 --> 00:05:29,170 Pierce, you moved to Canada. 147 00:05:29,258 --> 00:05:31,188 And it was hell. 148 00:05:31,858 --> 00:05:33,749 Those people call ham "bacon". 149 00:05:33,792 --> 00:05:36,209 This is silly. I'm just gonna walk over there 150 00:05:36,235 --> 00:05:39,258 and tell them they are welcome to share our room. 151 00:05:39,544 --> 00:05:40,845 Delightful. 152 00:05:40,868 --> 00:05:43,119 So today, ve study in here. 153 00:05:43,213 --> 00:05:44,947 Unt tonight, we dine in hell. 154 00:05:50,484 --> 00:05:52,382 Doktor Blitz, knight of the Atlantis Guild, 155 00:05:52,407 --> 00:05:56,026 wielder of the four-pronged trident on SpawnCraft? 156 00:05:56,276 --> 00:05:57,320 How did you know? 157 00:05:57,382 --> 00:05:59,492 I recognized your catchphrase, "Tonight we dine in hell!" 158 00:05:59,504 --> 00:06:01,086 I'm SpaceTimer8032. 159 00:06:01,104 --> 00:06:03,769 You are SpaceTimer8032? 160 00:06:03,809 --> 00:06:06,212 - The one and only. - It's wonderful to meet you... 161 00:06:06,263 --> 00:06:08,163 Brother. 162 00:06:12,327 --> 00:06:13,910 What was that all about? 163 00:06:13,985 --> 00:06:15,772 You two seemed pretty chummy. 164 00:06:15,850 --> 00:06:17,523 That man saved my life. 165 00:06:17,607 --> 00:06:19,107 In a video game. 166 00:06:19,170 --> 00:06:21,872 Let me get this as straight as I can get things. 167 00:06:21,892 --> 00:06:23,412 You authorized this? 168 00:06:23,563 --> 00:06:25,704 After everything that happened last year? 169 00:06:25,758 --> 00:06:27,004 Hear us out. 170 00:06:27,082 --> 00:06:28,709 They offered money. 171 00:06:28,734 --> 00:06:31,173 Did it ever occur to you that this man is a psychopath 172 00:06:31,191 --> 00:06:32,757 who may be faking his own Changnesia? 173 00:06:32,770 --> 00:06:34,504 Oh, now he has me saying it. 174 00:06:34,767 --> 00:06:35,829 Amdeansia. 175 00:06:35,835 --> 00:06:37,454 Amdeansia... I'm all turned around. 176 00:06:37,495 --> 00:06:39,772 If he is faking, you're welcome to prove it. 177 00:06:40,022 --> 00:06:41,453 We get the money either way. 178 00:06:41,821 --> 00:06:42,553 Mm! 179 00:06:42,607 --> 00:06:44,467 Oh, I will prove it. 180 00:06:44,717 --> 00:06:47,508 And I'll have fun doing it. 181 00:06:48,163 --> 00:06:49,597 Now, what to wear? 182 00:06:52,738 --> 00:06:53,600 See? 183 00:06:53,619 --> 00:06:55,188 I know those guys were annoying yesterday, 184 00:06:55,201 --> 00:06:56,840 but aren't you glad we didn't turn it 185 00:06:56,865 --> 00:06:59,125 into a whole big macho war thing? 186 00:06:59,137 --> 00:07:01,456 Gosh, Annie, you're right. I can't believe I doubted you. 187 00:07:01,487 --> 00:07:02,831 Hey, apropos of nothing, 188 00:07:02,853 --> 00:07:04,677 what's that sound you make when you see something shocking? 189 00:07:04,683 --> 00:07:06,220 Oh, yeah, that's it. 190 00:07:06,249 --> 00:07:07,768 What are you guys doing at our table? 191 00:07:07,792 --> 00:07:10,111 What happened to der kaffee hausen? 192 00:07:10,138 --> 00:07:11,593 Our time in this room yesterday 193 00:07:11,605 --> 00:07:13,398 proved more pleasant than expected. 194 00:07:13,465 --> 00:07:15,112 It's got a good energy. 195 00:07:15,140 --> 00:07:16,766 That table is ours. 196 00:07:16,778 --> 00:07:18,112 This room is ours! 197 00:07:18,141 --> 00:07:19,357 You guys need to leave. 198 00:07:19,383 --> 00:07:21,659 - Hey, Karl. - Hi, Abed. 199 00:07:22,115 --> 00:07:24,500 I am afraid it is you who must do 200 00:07:24,516 --> 00:07:27,122 the making like a tree, which is to say, leaving. 201 00:07:27,257 --> 00:07:28,320 Uh, security! 202 00:07:28,347 --> 00:07:29,953 You want us to leave? 203 00:07:30,134 --> 00:07:31,134 There a problem here? 204 00:07:31,135 --> 00:07:32,569 Yeah, there's a problem. 205 00:07:32,570 --> 00:07:34,387 These dussle-dorks won't leave our study room. 206 00:07:34,434 --> 00:07:35,465 Nice! 207 00:07:35,478 --> 00:07:37,146 I don't understand any of these puns. 208 00:07:37,174 --> 00:07:38,670 I think I need to learn history. 209 00:07:38,726 --> 00:07:40,077 Do you have a sign-in sheet? 210 00:07:40,103 --> 00:07:41,884 You're asking for our papers? 211 00:07:41,987 --> 00:07:44,101 I thought this was America, not Arizona. 212 00:07:44,123 --> 00:07:47,241 We have a sign-in sheet. Lukas. 213 00:07:47,424 --> 00:07:49,226 Perhaps we should all just go home 214 00:07:49,244 --> 00:07:51,958 and see our families and think things through, huh? 215 00:07:52,006 --> 00:07:54,195 Looks like the room is theirs. 216 00:07:54,234 --> 00:07:56,931 Shirley, call your babysitter, 217 00:07:56,956 --> 00:07:59,289 because this... means... 218 00:07:59,311 --> 00:08:00,812 Let me guess. 219 00:08:01,007 --> 00:08:01,839 War? 220 00:08:01,845 --> 00:08:03,045 Let the lady finish her sentence. 221 00:08:03,066 --> 00:08:05,032 Thank you, Jeff! 222 00:08:06,005 --> 00:08:07,308 War. Yeah. 223 00:08:20,314 --> 00:08:22,040 We'd like to sign out study room "F". 224 00:08:22,058 --> 00:08:25,358 It would appear that in this battle, our bulge was a little bit bigger. 225 00:08:25,383 --> 00:08:26,939 Guten bye-bye. 226 00:08:26,987 --> 00:08:28,321 Excuse me. Don't touch. 227 00:08:28,352 --> 00:08:31,206 Damn them and their perfectly crafted timepieces. 228 00:08:31,529 --> 00:08:32,845 What else do you have available? 229 00:08:39,153 --> 00:08:41,254 It's like a Darren Aronofsky film. 230 00:08:41,293 --> 00:08:42,393 I'll get this. 231 00:08:42,405 --> 00:08:44,615 My fifth father-in-law was an electrician. 232 00:08:44,639 --> 00:08:46,527 You pick up a thing or two. 233 00:08:48,769 --> 00:08:51,114 Agh! Everybody grab me, please! Ugh! 234 00:08:51,142 --> 00:08:52,893 Nobody grab him. 235 00:08:53,213 --> 00:08:54,966 Pierce, just let go. 236 00:08:54,998 --> 00:08:57,648 - You'd like that, wouldn't you? - Of the thing, Pierce. 237 00:08:57,689 --> 00:08:59,634 Oh, it smells like barbecue. 238 00:08:59,652 --> 00:09:01,270 We're getting up earlier tomorrow. 239 00:09:17,910 --> 00:09:18,910 Oh, no. 240 00:09:18,942 --> 00:09:20,730 - Oh! - Ugh! 241 00:09:33,054 --> 00:09:34,797 Oh, look at them! 242 00:09:58,596 --> 00:10:00,108 Hi. 243 00:10:00,266 --> 00:10:02,288 Thanks again for taking me in. 244 00:10:02,308 --> 00:10:05,247 We must have been great pals before my Changnesia, huh? 245 00:10:05,286 --> 00:10:07,060 Oh, my... That's it. 246 00:10:07,144 --> 00:10:09,066 You may have fooled that handsome doctor, 247 00:10:09,084 --> 00:10:10,447 but you can't fool me. 248 00:10:10,466 --> 00:10:11,831 Oh, how convenient. 249 00:10:11,844 --> 00:10:13,753 Showing up here with Changnesia 250 00:10:13,784 --> 00:10:16,836 after you staged a coup, almost blew up the school, 251 00:10:16,854 --> 00:10:19,839 and locked me in a basement for months! 252 00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:22,427 Without so much as a drop of moisturizer! 253 00:10:22,472 --> 00:10:23,628 I did all that? 254 00:10:23,640 --> 00:10:25,396 I mean, Chang did all that? 255 00:10:25,683 --> 00:10:26,865 If that's true, 256 00:10:26,883 --> 00:10:29,890 then Chang, who is me, 257 00:10:30,131 --> 00:10:31,197 deserves to go to jail. 258 00:10:31,226 --> 00:10:32,192 Well, he did. 259 00:10:32,243 --> 00:10:33,694 And you do. 260 00:10:34,026 --> 00:10:35,616 This is the worst thing that's happened to me 261 00:10:35,635 --> 00:10:37,954 in my 96 hours of memory. 262 00:10:39,303 --> 00:10:42,955 And that failed ventriloquist's name was... 263 00:10:43,251 --> 00:10:44,586 Slobodan Milosevic. 264 00:10:44,617 --> 00:10:45,919 Ohh. 265 00:10:45,935 --> 00:10:48,730 For the essay portion of your test on Monday, 266 00:10:48,761 --> 00:10:51,923 you will be asked to describe a historical battle 267 00:10:51,965 --> 00:10:55,160 from the perspectives of both the winners and the losers. 268 00:10:55,429 --> 00:10:56,660 No dioramas. 269 00:10:59,410 --> 00:11:01,239 Guten luck on the examination. 270 00:11:01,316 --> 00:11:03,858 Ve vill be preparing for it in study room "F", 271 00:11:04,095 --> 00:11:05,367 as in "Fictory". 272 00:11:05,497 --> 00:11:08,429 I like the way your old chair cradles mein knaidels. 273 00:11:09,646 --> 00:11:10,980 I just made that up. 274 00:11:10,995 --> 00:11:12,743 You know, English is my second language. 275 00:11:12,769 --> 00:11:14,800 Jeff, stop. 276 00:11:14,918 --> 00:11:16,579 - It's over. - No. 277 00:11:16,603 --> 00:11:18,690 These guys are horrible. 278 00:11:18,738 --> 00:11:20,139 Totally. Except Karl. 279 00:11:20,152 --> 00:11:21,368 - Really, Abed? - Mm-hmm. 280 00:11:21,382 --> 00:11:22,304 Karl's not horrible? 281 00:11:22,316 --> 00:11:23,751 Even though he took your home? 282 00:11:23,776 --> 00:11:24,545 All right. 283 00:11:24,565 --> 00:11:26,287 When I was growing up, it was just me and my mom. 284 00:11:26,293 --> 00:11:27,543 I didn't have much of a family. 285 00:11:27,594 --> 00:11:30,042 That is, until I met you guys. 286 00:11:30,082 --> 00:11:32,641 So excuse me if I'm not willing to give up 287 00:11:32,666 --> 00:11:36,102 the place where we became a family. 288 00:11:36,122 --> 00:11:37,683 So what are we gonna do? 289 00:11:37,707 --> 00:11:39,992 We literally can't get up any earlier. 290 00:11:40,231 --> 00:11:41,547 Many years ago, 291 00:11:41,571 --> 00:11:44,690 before the concept of "too soon" existed, 292 00:11:44,714 --> 00:11:47,088 there was a show about a bunch of goofy Nazis 293 00:11:47,106 --> 00:11:48,501 running a prison camp, 294 00:11:48,591 --> 00:11:51,143 - and that show was called... - Hogan's Heroes? 295 00:11:51,355 --> 00:11:53,612 - Hogan's Heroes. - Yes. 296 00:11:53,991 --> 00:11:56,871 And while, for a latchkey kid with no jewish friends, 297 00:11:56,877 --> 00:11:59,102 it was a bit desensitizing, 298 00:11:59,208 --> 00:12:00,672 it still taught me 299 00:12:00,777 --> 00:12:04,010 that the lovable misfits always win. 300 00:12:04,500 --> 00:12:06,977 And the bumbling Germans always lose. 301 00:12:07,369 --> 00:12:08,937 All we need is a clever ruse. 302 00:12:08,962 --> 00:12:11,146 Strike that. All we need is a ruse. 303 00:12:11,210 --> 00:12:12,661 You had me at "ruse." 304 00:12:12,931 --> 00:12:15,231 - That was the last thing I said. - Good thing you said it. 305 00:12:25,550 --> 00:12:26,851 Ah! 306 00:12:26,902 --> 00:12:29,606 Welcome to Oktoberfest. 307 00:12:29,769 --> 00:12:32,104 - Vat is this? - Call it a peace offering. 308 00:12:32,124 --> 00:12:33,741 You won. We lost. 309 00:12:33,742 --> 00:12:35,657 Let's end this dumb war and move on. 310 00:12:35,675 --> 00:12:37,332 Care for some authentic blutwurst? 311 00:12:37,344 --> 00:12:39,026 This stuff's the real deal. 312 00:12:39,045 --> 00:12:40,576 We got it down in little Munich. 313 00:12:40,594 --> 00:12:42,712 It's been banned by the FDA. 314 00:12:42,732 --> 00:12:43,891 - Ooh! - No, Karl! 315 00:12:43,941 --> 00:12:45,849 That blutwurst was probably injected 316 00:12:45,861 --> 00:12:49,047 with a laxative to make us pull a grete waitz in our trousers. 317 00:12:49,084 --> 00:12:50,103 I promise you, 318 00:12:50,127 --> 00:12:52,269 there's nothing gross in this sausage. 319 00:12:52,333 --> 00:12:54,955 It's just pig's blood stuffed into a cow's intestine. 320 00:12:54,967 --> 00:12:58,042 Gott, that must be nearly 100 luftballons! 321 00:12:59,152 --> 00:13:01,186 Idiot! Do not accept their gifts. 322 00:13:01,219 --> 00:13:02,980 Something is clearly up. 323 00:13:02,998 --> 00:13:05,528 Please, these are just small tokens of our friendship. 324 00:13:05,631 --> 00:13:06,543 Oh, come on. 325 00:13:06,587 --> 00:13:08,902 Dirndls, blutwurst, luftballons. 326 00:13:08,928 --> 00:13:11,263 A cartoonishly large cake. 327 00:13:11,408 --> 00:13:12,920 This is a ruse. 328 00:13:12,932 --> 00:13:15,534 It is exactly like an episode of Hogan's Villains. 329 00:13:15,577 --> 00:13:17,926 Ruse? This is no ruse. 330 00:13:17,965 --> 00:13:20,416 Just take that large cake back to the study room 331 00:13:20,454 --> 00:13:21,805 and enjoy it there. 332 00:13:21,884 --> 00:13:22,938 So there's nothing hiding 333 00:13:22,957 --> 00:13:25,485 inside this giant German chocolate cake? 334 00:13:25,513 --> 00:13:26,763 Ask Abed. 335 00:13:26,794 --> 00:13:30,049 You can trust him. He's a friend. 336 00:13:30,968 --> 00:13:32,802 Nope. Just solid cake. 337 00:13:32,828 --> 00:13:34,318 Hmm. 338 00:13:35,410 --> 00:13:37,468 Then you wouldn't mind if I... 339 00:13:37,494 --> 00:13:38,524 Cut the cake? 340 00:13:38,567 --> 00:13:40,127 Or you could save it for later. 341 00:13:40,145 --> 00:13:41,445 You don't have to share it. 342 00:13:41,480 --> 00:13:43,491 Shirley stayed up all night baking that for you. 343 00:13:43,559 --> 00:13:46,976 No problem. I just used the eggs I would've used for my son's breakfast. 344 00:13:47,004 --> 00:13:48,936 But it would be so easy for me 345 00:13:48,961 --> 00:13:51,109 to carve into this cake... 346 00:13:51,147 --> 00:13:52,262 And serve us all! 347 00:13:52,284 --> 00:13:53,418 Wait! 348 00:13:53,482 --> 00:13:55,093 Damn it. Sorry. 349 00:13:55,146 --> 00:13:57,174 We thought you were stupider than this. 350 00:13:57,258 --> 00:13:58,746 Troy. 351 00:14:02,241 --> 00:14:04,292 Should I release the tear gas, or has that ship sank? 352 00:14:07,028 --> 00:14:08,509 An excellent attempt, Vinger, 353 00:14:08,527 --> 00:14:10,923 but we are smarter than you, and once again, 354 00:14:10,946 --> 00:14:12,880 it shall be us who are savoring 355 00:14:12,901 --> 00:14:16,301 the smooth and somewhat ha-ha-hoppy taste of victory. 356 00:14:16,325 --> 00:14:18,194 Beer me, bitte. 357 00:14:18,515 --> 00:14:19,559 Here you go. 358 00:14:19,576 --> 00:14:21,671 As they say in Ferris Bueller, 359 00:14:21,946 --> 00:14:22,984 danke schoen. 360 00:14:22,994 --> 00:14:24,938 And as they say in the movie, gotcha! 361 00:14:24,950 --> 00:14:27,034 Gotcha. 362 00:14:28,595 --> 00:14:30,606 - Busted. - Busted? 363 00:14:30,694 --> 00:14:31,482 For what? 364 00:14:31,519 --> 00:14:34,722 But there were dozens of students at that Oktoberfest. 365 00:14:34,873 --> 00:14:36,830 But you were the only German students 366 00:14:36,855 --> 00:14:38,355 celebrating German culture, 367 00:14:38,369 --> 00:14:40,954 and here at Greendale, that is a big, fat no-no. 368 00:14:41,018 --> 00:14:44,493 We frown on anyone celebrating their own cultural heritage. 369 00:14:44,524 --> 00:14:47,176 I mean, if the hasidic student union wants 370 00:14:47,189 --> 00:14:50,114 to host a Kwanzaa celebration, you go, Jews! 371 00:14:50,139 --> 00:14:51,873 Hanukkah? No, sir. 372 00:14:51,910 --> 00:14:53,514 It's why I keep a detailed list 373 00:14:53,545 --> 00:14:55,452 of every student's race and nationality... 374 00:14:55,480 --> 00:14:57,981 to prevent racism and nationalism. 375 00:14:58,006 --> 00:15:00,344 - This is an outrage! - Relax. 376 00:15:00,375 --> 00:15:01,550 It's not like you're expelled. 377 00:15:01,562 --> 00:15:03,952 You're just banned from certain campus amenities, 378 00:15:03,970 --> 00:15:06,092 uh, water fountains, swimming pools... huh. 379 00:15:06,110 --> 00:15:07,510 Most of these are water-based. 380 00:15:07,626 --> 00:15:09,330 Oh, and the study rooms. 381 00:15:09,361 --> 00:15:10,599 - Oh! - Uh! 382 00:15:11,330 --> 00:15:13,500 Oh, I gotta take this. Bye-bye. 383 00:15:15,115 --> 00:15:16,986 Dean Pelton... if I don't offer you a receipt, 384 00:15:17,011 --> 00:15:18,978 your education is free. 385 00:15:19,763 --> 00:15:21,063 Chang did what? 386 00:15:32,517 --> 00:15:33,721 Oh, cool. 387 00:15:33,758 --> 00:15:35,657 - What are we protesting? - You guys. 388 00:15:35,944 --> 00:15:38,260 You've been hogging that study room for three years. 389 00:15:38,293 --> 00:15:39,700 Somebody finally stood up to you, 390 00:15:39,712 --> 00:15:41,006 and you had them banned. 391 00:15:41,076 --> 00:15:43,803 Why must our people always be the victims? 392 00:15:44,025 --> 00:15:45,876 - What do we want? - Justice! 393 00:15:45,888 --> 00:15:47,737 - When do we want it? - Now! 394 00:15:47,761 --> 00:15:49,415 - What do we want? - Justice! 395 00:15:49,427 --> 00:15:50,628 - Oh, my God. - When do we want it? 396 00:15:50,650 --> 00:15:51,650 - Now! - This whole time, 397 00:15:51,668 --> 00:15:53,831 we thought the Germans were the Germans. 398 00:15:53,856 --> 00:15:57,209 But it turns out, we're the Germans. 399 00:16:01,228 --> 00:16:04,354 Hang on. You guys are all siding with the Germans? 400 00:16:04,374 --> 00:16:05,554 You realize these guys are, like, 401 00:16:05,572 --> 00:16:07,160 contractor-grade tools. 402 00:16:07,339 --> 00:16:09,819 They signed out that room fair and square, 403 00:16:09,837 --> 00:16:11,610 and then you had to take it too far, 404 00:16:11,629 --> 00:16:14,064 like you always do with that room. 405 00:16:14,079 --> 00:16:15,285 Yeah! 406 00:16:19,456 --> 00:16:20,662 Damn it! 407 00:16:20,749 --> 00:16:22,689 I signed this room out! 408 00:16:22,907 --> 00:16:24,491 And I have a final tomorrow! 409 00:16:24,544 --> 00:16:26,749 They lost a pen. 410 00:16:27,844 --> 00:16:29,113 Can you come back in a few hours? 411 00:16:29,135 --> 00:16:30,823 We're playing Dungeons & Dragons. 412 00:16:31,464 --> 00:16:33,045 - Yes? - I left my notebook in there. 413 00:16:33,063 --> 00:16:34,196 Well, you're going to have to come back later. 414 00:16:34,219 --> 00:16:36,187 I'm trying to prove a point. 415 00:16:36,473 --> 00:16:38,642 You're like those guys on Hogan's Heroes. 416 00:16:38,699 --> 00:16:39,610 The Nazis. 417 00:16:40,489 --> 00:16:42,182 You take that back! 418 00:16:42,516 --> 00:16:43,608 I'm jewish. 419 00:16:43,638 --> 00:16:45,788 Yeah, Leonard. Don't call me a Nazi. 420 00:16:45,813 --> 00:16:48,104 You are wearing an S.S. t-shirt. 421 00:16:48,194 --> 00:16:49,802 - Oh. - Oh! 422 00:16:49,820 --> 00:16:52,355 - Oh! - Oh. 423 00:16:53,380 --> 00:16:55,013 Open two. 424 00:17:00,368 --> 00:17:01,527 What are you doing here? 425 00:17:01,607 --> 00:17:03,735 You, sir, have been bailed out. 426 00:17:03,772 --> 00:17:06,941 We are going to nurse you back to health. 427 00:17:07,299 --> 00:17:08,865 But why? 428 00:17:09,102 --> 00:17:11,098 Why take me back in after everything I did to you? 429 00:17:11,117 --> 00:17:12,755 When I heard that you had checked yourself into jail, 430 00:17:12,761 --> 00:17:14,732 I realized you couldn't be faking. 431 00:17:14,781 --> 00:17:17,210 The real Chang would never have remorse 432 00:17:17,229 --> 00:17:18,367 for what he did. 433 00:17:18,409 --> 00:17:19,938 I believe you... 434 00:17:20,349 --> 00:17:22,126 Kevin. 435 00:17:22,652 --> 00:17:24,969 Plus, curing Changnesia, that's a human interest story. 436 00:17:24,987 --> 00:17:26,078 That puts Greendale on the map. 437 00:17:26,097 --> 00:17:29,341 But your health comes second, whoop, first, to the school. 438 00:17:29,447 --> 00:17:31,985 Oh, let's not hug. Do you mind getting my... 439 00:17:32,021 --> 00:17:32,963 Okay. 440 00:17:33,044 --> 00:17:35,362 Probably shouldn't step on it. 441 00:17:35,515 --> 00:17:37,807 I feel guilty eating this cake. 442 00:17:38,089 --> 00:17:39,709 And not for the usual reasons. 443 00:17:39,905 --> 00:17:41,599 Hate to say it, but this is what happens 444 00:17:41,617 --> 00:17:43,252 when a group of people blindly follows 445 00:17:43,270 --> 00:17:45,231 a charismatic, golden-throated leader. 446 00:17:45,256 --> 00:17:47,266 Are you actually comparing me to Hitler? 447 00:17:47,298 --> 00:17:48,709 There are similarities. 448 00:17:48,733 --> 00:17:50,759 Hang on. Nobody's even willing 449 00:17:50,778 --> 00:17:53,485 to consider that I might be the Hitler of this group? 450 00:17:53,708 --> 00:17:55,186 We were the good guys. 451 00:17:55,205 --> 00:17:57,290 How could everybody think we're the bad guys? 452 00:17:57,315 --> 00:17:58,215 We are. 453 00:17:58,261 --> 00:17:59,962 When Karl and I were raiding the Diamond North Caves, 454 00:17:59,988 --> 00:18:01,140 I was facing 50 Death Beatles. 455 00:18:01,159 --> 00:18:02,740 I would've perished for sure, but he saved me. 456 00:18:02,764 --> 00:18:04,149 Then when I had a chance to return the favor, 457 00:18:04,168 --> 00:18:05,897 I looked him in the eye, and I told him it was solid cake. 458 00:18:05,962 --> 00:18:07,435 You were just following orders. 459 00:18:07,509 --> 00:18:09,404 There's probably a way I can make it up to him. 460 00:18:09,470 --> 00:18:10,645 Oh. 461 00:18:10,755 --> 00:18:12,609 Maybe I'll give him my four-pronged trident. 462 00:18:12,657 --> 00:18:14,210 Why don't you call it a "quadrident"? 463 00:18:14,235 --> 00:18:15,687 - Shh. - Ah! 464 00:18:15,699 --> 00:18:17,333 There you people are. 465 00:18:17,524 --> 00:18:21,098 I believe we have something to discuss. 466 00:18:21,503 --> 00:18:23,019 Oh, my God. 467 00:18:23,128 --> 00:18:25,396 You clever British bastard. 468 00:18:25,561 --> 00:18:27,742 You set this whole thing up to teach us a lesson. 469 00:18:27,760 --> 00:18:29,525 - What? - Making the school pretend 470 00:18:29,543 --> 00:18:32,152 to hate us, to show us that one man's hero 471 00:18:32,180 --> 00:18:33,536 is another man's villain. 472 00:18:33,561 --> 00:18:36,149 Of course! We aren't Nazis. 473 00:18:36,880 --> 00:18:38,564 I tip my cap to you, sir. 474 00:18:38,588 --> 00:18:39,482 Lesson learned. 475 00:18:39,494 --> 00:18:42,717 Are you actually suggesting that a Professor at Greendale 476 00:18:42,735 --> 00:18:44,870 would set up an elaborate ruse 477 00:18:44,890 --> 00:18:47,158 just to teach seven students a lesson? 478 00:18:47,172 --> 00:18:48,260 - Uh, yes. - Yeah. 479 00:18:48,285 --> 00:18:49,585 - Yes. - That's a Wednesday. 480 00:18:49,622 --> 00:18:51,039 Oh, my God. 481 00:18:51,122 --> 00:18:54,236 I've made a terrible mistake coming here. 482 00:18:54,448 --> 00:18:57,271 So this wasn't part of the class? 483 00:18:57,387 --> 00:18:58,785 Then why are you here? 484 00:18:58,833 --> 00:19:01,114 Because you had a test today, and you all missed it! 485 00:19:01,175 --> 00:19:02,389 "F" s for everyone. 486 00:19:02,401 --> 00:19:03,651 Oh. 487 00:19:03,824 --> 00:19:07,171 Maybe it's not too late to get out of my contract. 488 00:19:10,028 --> 00:19:11,929 - I really am Hitler. - Yeah. 489 00:19:12,174 --> 00:19:14,498 So it's just decided. 490 00:19:15,010 --> 00:19:16,524 No vote or anything. 491 00:19:16,703 --> 00:19:17,781 I hate this. 492 00:19:17,793 --> 00:19:19,193 I wish there was a way that we could 493 00:19:19,447 --> 00:19:20,598 make it up to people. 494 00:19:21,018 --> 00:19:22,131 That's it. 495 00:19:22,484 --> 00:19:24,629 We need to make reparations. 496 00:19:25,024 --> 00:19:26,975 We have to start giving back 497 00:19:27,051 --> 00:19:30,485 because Greendale has given us so much. 498 00:19:30,579 --> 00:19:32,413 It gave us the study room. 499 00:19:32,826 --> 00:19:35,967 And that study room is our home. 500 00:19:36,668 --> 00:19:40,974 But our home is more than those four walls. 501 00:19:42,124 --> 00:19:46,082 And our family is more than the seven of us. 502 00:19:46,880 --> 00:19:50,309 It's all of Greendale. 503 00:19:50,720 --> 00:19:53,972 And everyone deserves to have what we have. 504 00:19:56,921 --> 00:19:57,891 What do you know? 505 00:19:57,928 --> 00:20:00,141 Greendale just got slightly better. 506 00:20:03,426 --> 00:20:04,761 It's good to be back. 507 00:20:04,895 --> 00:20:06,628 Should we go celebrate at Skeeper's? 508 00:20:06,646 --> 00:20:08,645 Oh, come on, Shirley. We all have lives. 509 00:20:08,667 --> 00:20:09,958 There you are! 510 00:20:09,983 --> 00:20:12,669 I am so proud how you stepped up and made amends. 511 00:20:12,693 --> 00:20:15,097 And everyone forgave you. 512 00:20:15,148 --> 00:20:17,183 Because when it comes right down to it, 513 00:20:17,214 --> 00:20:18,914 Greendale's a forgiving place. 514 00:20:18,960 --> 00:20:20,158 It really is. 515 00:20:20,178 --> 00:20:21,908 Please keep that in mind the next 20 seconds. 516 00:20:21,938 --> 00:20:23,422 Remember that people can "Chang". 517 00:20:23,491 --> 00:20:24,388 People can what? 518 00:20:24,413 --> 00:20:26,037 Hmm? 519 00:20:26,553 --> 00:20:27,533 Hi, I'm Kevin. 520 00:20:30,628 --> 00:20:32,629 He has Changnesia. 521 00:20:35,459 --> 00:20:36,794 And you know what that sound is. 522 00:20:36,822 --> 00:20:38,633 It's the Troy and Abed Podcast. 523 00:20:38,651 --> 00:20:40,597 Sponsored by Shirley's Sandwiches, home of the fried chicken skin wrap. 524 00:20:40,621 --> 00:20:42,367 Is it inside? Is it outside? You find out. 525 00:20:42,382 --> 00:20:44,100 Okay, our guest today is from Germany, Europe. 526 00:20:44,125 --> 00:20:45,991 Karl, guten tag. How are you doing? 527 00:20:46,018 --> 00:20:47,192 - Sehr gut. - Great. 528 00:20:47,210 --> 00:20:48,711 Now's the part of the show where we get real. 529 00:20:48,746 --> 00:20:50,930 Friendship, loyalty, betrayal, redemption. 530 00:20:50,942 --> 00:20:52,838 - Is this an apology? - Yes. 531 00:20:52,863 --> 00:20:55,261 And for being a guest on the show today, we want you to have this. 532 00:20:55,314 --> 00:20:57,166 It's a gift certificate to Shirley's Sandwiches, 533 00:20:57,179 --> 00:20:59,680 home of the triple-fried monte cristo. 534 00:20:59,725 --> 00:21:01,494 We challenge you to taste the bread. 535 00:21:01,528 --> 00:21:03,445 This coupon is a $5 bill. 536 00:21:03,532 --> 00:21:05,049 Well, that's all the time we have today. 537 00:21:05,055 --> 00:21:06,324 For Troy Barnes, I'm Abed Nadir. 538 00:21:06,349 --> 00:21:07,872 And for Abed Nadir, I'm Troy Barnes. 539 00:21:07,884 --> 00:21:10,052 And we're out. 540 00:21:10,653 --> 00:21:11,747 Thanks so much for doing this. 541 00:21:11,766 --> 00:21:13,650 So will you be on my podcast tomorrow? 542 00:21:13,681 --> 00:21:15,668 We've got a thing. 543 00:21:15,922 --> 00:21:19,175 Beep, boop, bow!