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Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther
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♪ Give me some rope ♪
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♪ Tie me to dream ♪
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♪ Give me the hope ♪
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♪ To run out of steam ♪
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♪ Somebody said
it can be here ♪
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♪ We could be roped up ♪
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♪ Tied up, dead in a year ♪
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♪ I can't count the reasons
I should stay ♪
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♪ One by one,
they all just fade away ♪
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Okay, this awkward silence
has been going on for days.
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Granted, Jeffrey looks amazing
when he broods,
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but this has got to stop.
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Now, I don't know
what happened,
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but we have to get
to the bottom of this.
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It's too embarrassing.
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I understand.
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You don't wanna talk about it,
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and you won't have to.
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They will talk for you.
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Why did you make, have,
and bring these?
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- Mm.
- Don't answer.
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- It's puppet therapy.
- Mm-hmm.
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The psychology world
has recently embraced it
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after seeing it on Law & Order.
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You'll notice that each puppet
is made in your likeness.
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They were a rush job.
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It's not like I had them
on hand for personal use.
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Excuse me. Let me just grab this thing
that's definitely not a whip.
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In addition to being adorable,
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I know firsthand that puppet
therapy can and does work.
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Uh, Dean, puppet Kevin here thinks
I should have a candy bar right now.
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No, you know
how it winds you up.
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Fine.
We'll split it.
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00:01:48,962 --> 00:01:50,983
All right.
Got money, bro?
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He's not what he seems!
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00:01:52,931 --> 00:01:54,899
Wait.
Where's Pierce?
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I know he's not with us,
but is he still with us?
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I'm sure he's fine.
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00:01:59,555 --> 00:02:02,425
Although, no one's seen him since
he lost his mind in the woods.
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You all were in the woods?
Oh.
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00:02:04,215 --> 00:02:05,926
Oh, so the puppets are working.
Okay.
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00:02:05,938 --> 00:02:07,045
Uh...
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How did it start?
What happened?
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- We're not playing with puppets.
- Oh, Jeffrey.
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Dean, what happened
is between us and Jesus,
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and Jesus don't snitch.
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Yeah, and I don't need
a puppet to express myself.
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I already say whatever I want.
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00:02:17,939 --> 00:02:19,968
But I am a fan
of the medium, so...
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my father is withholding.
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- Ow.
- Hm.
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That's interesting.
54
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Guys, are we just gonna avoid
making eye contact forever?
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- Who are we, Jeff during sex?
- Huh?
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Let's just give it a shot
and move on.
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Fine.
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00:02:32,734 --> 00:02:34,235
If we're gonna play this game,
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00:02:34,270 --> 00:02:36,205
then, unlike sex with Britta,
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we're gonna do it quickly
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and with a small shred
of dignity.
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- Eh.
- Yeah.
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Jeffrey, dignity
is my middle name,
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and my first name is
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Dean-nocchio!
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- Whoo.
- It all started on Friday.
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00:02:59,109 --> 00:03:01,168
Britta was talking about a few
of her latest causes.
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00:03:01,236 --> 00:03:03,106
This one's for the Greendale
animal shelter,
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00:03:03,118 --> 00:03:05,968
this one's for global warming,
this one's for global cooling,
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00:03:05,985 --> 00:03:08,086
and this one's
for the amount of rubber wasted
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00:03:08,096 --> 00:03:09,918
while making stupid bracelets.
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00:03:09,936 --> 00:03:11,246
That's called rubber flubbing,
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00:03:11,252 --> 00:03:12,721
and it's a real problem.
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Open your eyes, people!
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00:03:14,445 --> 00:03:15,977
Britta said, "Open your eyes, people."
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- Square.
- Nice.
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00:03:17,240 --> 00:03:18,483
- What are you two doing?
- Oh.
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00:03:18,489 --> 00:03:19,813
We're playing
"Study Group Bingo."
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00:03:19,831 --> 00:03:20,988
Study group bingo?
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00:03:21,006 --> 00:03:22,290
We've been best friends
for four years,
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00:03:22,315 --> 00:03:24,517
so we've fallen into a
comfortable, repetitive pattern
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00:03:24,541 --> 00:03:26,803
like humorous misunderstandings
on Three's Company
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00:03:26,825 --> 00:03:28,790
or girls gossiping on
Gossip Girl.
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00:03:28,849 --> 00:03:30,692
So to liven things up,
Troy and I made this bingo chart
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00:03:30,710 --> 00:03:32,086
of the predictable things
we say.
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This game is gay.
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- Square.
- You're mocking us?
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00:03:35,609 --> 00:03:37,383
That's not a very Christian
thing to do.
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- Square.
- Oh.
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00:03:38,372 --> 00:03:39,572
Can we go back to studying now?
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00:03:39,593 --> 00:03:41,983
- Square.
- I don't like this game.
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00:03:41,995 --> 00:03:43,228
- Me neither.
- I think it's mean.
93
00:03:43,250 --> 00:03:44,563
- There's no point.
- Yeah, it's insulting.
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00:03:44,581 --> 00:03:46,454
- Okay, stop.
- Square.
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00:03:47,460 --> 00:03:48,321
Abed's right.
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00:03:48,341 --> 00:03:50,743
We've had the same conversation
a million times.
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00:03:50,763 --> 00:03:52,497
I guess we're kind of stuck
in a--
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00:03:52,526 --> 00:03:53,860
- Rut?
- Yes.
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00:03:53,894 --> 00:03:56,650
But to be fair, there's not many
things you could be stuck in.
100
00:03:56,669 --> 00:03:57,925
- Elevators.
- Bad marriages.
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00:03:57,943 --> 00:03:59,578
- A peat bog.
- On a flight in the middle seat.
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00:03:59,590 --> 00:04:00,973
- Time loops.
- The bottom of a well.
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00:04:00,985 --> 00:04:02,441
- Your own emotions.
- Quicksand.
104
00:04:03,924 --> 00:04:05,761
- Okay, stop!
- Square.
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00:04:05,801 --> 00:04:07,735
How did we get so predictable?
106
00:04:07,758 --> 00:04:11,261
And here is our
state-of-the-art 1989 library
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00:04:11,288 --> 00:04:12,527
where--oh, look!
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It is my favorite study group.
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They all really typify
the diversity
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we have here at Greendale.
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Uh, ruggedly handsome
leading man...
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a mom, an activist,
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a perfect student,
a lifelong learner,
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a sidekick, and Abed.
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00:04:27,323 --> 00:04:29,395
Enough foreplay. It's time
to move this tour along
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to meet
my good friend Magnitude!
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00:04:32,375 --> 00:04:34,578
Yeah, prepare
to be pop-popped!
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Aw, he's a national treasure.
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Look, the problem isn't us.
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00:04:38,042 --> 00:04:39,310
We're awesome.
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00:04:39,332 --> 00:04:41,297
The problem is Greendale.
122
00:04:41,384 --> 00:04:43,251
It's pulling our strings,
and we need a break.
123
00:04:43,272 --> 00:04:45,407
Yeah, our Ferris Bueller
needs a day off.
124
00:04:45,430 --> 00:04:47,247
Hey, whose dad
has a vintage Ferrari?
125
00:04:47,278 --> 00:04:50,099
Abed, a pop culture reference
is more of the same.
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We need to go big.
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00:04:51,875 --> 00:04:53,242
We need an adventure!
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00:04:53,264 --> 00:04:56,033
That's a good idea, Annie,
but there's one problem.
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Where would we go?
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00:05:00,835 --> 00:05:03,538
♪ Where,
where would we go? ♪
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00:05:03,569 --> 00:05:06,775
♪ We can go anywhere
that you know ♪
132
00:05:06,802 --> 00:05:08,752
♪ Could we travel
through time? ♪
133
00:05:08,797 --> 00:05:10,630
♪ Or maybe see France? ♪
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00:05:10,647 --> 00:05:13,760
♪ Or anywhere else
naked ladies will dance? ♪
135
00:05:13,772 --> 00:05:16,064
♪ Could we fly in a booth ♪
136
00:05:16,091 --> 00:05:20,832
♪ Could we go
to church camp? ♪
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♪ I'd rather stay
at Greendale ♪
138
00:05:23,160 --> 00:05:25,004
♪ Could we ride ♪
139
00:05:25,025 --> 00:05:29,148
♪ A hot air balloon? ♪
140
00:05:29,316 --> 00:05:31,915
- ♪ Yes ♪
- ♪ Now, that's an adventure ♪
141
00:05:31,955 --> 00:05:33,809
♪ Well, we should go soon ♪
142
00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:36,396
♪ We can go anywhere
in a balloon ♪
143
00:05:36,411 --> 00:05:38,991
- ♪ Yes ♪
- ♪ That's an adventure ♪
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00:05:39,010 --> 00:05:40,886
♪ We can go high ♪
145
00:05:40,935 --> 00:05:43,650
♪ We can see anything
up in the sky ♪
146
00:05:43,669 --> 00:05:46,252
♪ Yes ♪
♪ Now that's an adventure ♪
147
00:05:46,271 --> 00:05:47,969
♪ Pierce, bring your dentures ♪
148
00:05:47,987 --> 00:05:51,487
♪ We're so thrilled
because soon ♪
149
00:05:51,510 --> 00:05:55,213
♪ We'll be
in a hot air balloon ♪
150
00:05:55,228 --> 00:05:58,480
♪ Ah, ah, ah ♪
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00:05:58,692 --> 00:06:00,760
♪ Ah, ah, ah ♪
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00:06:00,825 --> 00:06:03,950
Hey, guys.
♪ I'm the balloon guide ♪
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00:06:03,974 --> 00:06:07,533
♪ Before we take off, I'm gonna
check the balloon ties ♪
154
00:06:07,551 --> 00:06:11,036
♪ Look at the burner,
check out the basket ♪
155
00:06:11,196 --> 00:06:14,371
♪ If you have a question,
feel free to ask it ♪
156
00:06:14,377 --> 00:06:16,596
♪ Could we go
to space? ♪
157
00:06:16,614 --> 00:06:21,288
♪ Could we fly
to heaven? ♪
158
00:06:21,307 --> 00:06:23,307
♪ I'd rather fly to Vegas ♪
159
00:06:23,326 --> 00:06:25,402
♪ It's getting time ♪
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00:06:25,420 --> 00:06:29,635
♪ To ride the balloon ♪
161
00:06:29,785 --> 00:06:32,368
♪ Yes, now this is adventure ♪
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00:06:32,387 --> 00:06:34,138
♪ About to go soon ♪
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00:06:34,152 --> 00:06:37,054
♪ We're gonna go anywhere
in the balloon ♪
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00:06:37,081 --> 00:06:39,513
♪ Yes ♪
♪ this is adventure ♪
165
00:06:39,531 --> 00:06:41,352
♪ We're starting to fly ♪
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00:06:41,364 --> 00:06:44,733
♪ We can see everything
here in the sky ♪
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00:06:44,911 --> 00:06:46,665
♪ This is adventure ♪
168
00:06:46,681 --> 00:06:50,584
♪ There's beautiful weather
now outside ♪
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00:06:50,600 --> 00:06:51,930
♪ And we're fine ♪
170
00:06:51,954 --> 00:06:56,317
♪ As long as we have
a balloon guide ♪
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00:06:56,368 --> 00:06:57,549
- Uh...
- Oh, no!
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00:06:59,311 --> 00:07:00,431
Oh, boy.
173
00:07:00,456 --> 00:07:03,531
From now on,
no more singing in the balloon.
174
00:07:03,914 --> 00:07:06,149
- Did I miss it?
- Miss what?
175
00:07:06,246 --> 00:07:08,192
Who said anything
about a runaway balloon?
176
00:07:08,237 --> 00:07:10,940
Okay, let me process this.
177
00:07:12,930 --> 00:07:14,694
No!
178
00:07:14,712 --> 00:07:16,150
- Oh, God.
- Whoa, whoa.
179
00:07:16,181 --> 00:07:18,063
- We're really high.
- I'm really scared of heights.
180
00:07:18,082 --> 00:07:20,409
Guys, what are we gonna do?
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00:07:20,478 --> 00:07:22,379
I had a dream
it would end this way.
182
00:07:22,513 --> 00:07:24,744
Oh, Jeffrey,
you're on a runaway balloon?
183
00:07:24,762 --> 00:07:27,166
You could have died.
You could have died.
184
00:07:27,172 --> 00:07:28,626
How could you almost
let him die?
185
00:07:28,680 --> 00:07:31,181
We all almost died,
but we all didn't.
186
00:07:31,221 --> 00:07:32,674
You know, plus,
a near death experience
187
00:07:32,692 --> 00:07:34,609
would've only brought us
closer together.
188
00:07:34,625 --> 00:07:36,134
Good point.
189
00:07:36,329 --> 00:07:38,215
Although it did
get pretty hairy after that
190
00:07:38,235 --> 00:07:40,170
especially once Pierce
started helping.
191
00:07:40,211 --> 00:07:43,025
Okay, everyone push down
with me at the same time.
192
00:07:43,068 --> 00:07:45,489
One, two, three!
193
00:07:47,068 --> 00:07:49,369
Come on, people.
I can't do this alone.
194
00:07:49,416 --> 00:07:51,417
You can't do it at all.
195
00:07:51,441 --> 00:07:53,097
Oh, look.
A downstream.
196
00:07:53,754 --> 00:07:55,310
Pierce! No!
197
00:07:55,329 --> 00:07:58,172
Whoa!
198
00:07:58,185 --> 00:07:59,338
If we fly to heaven,
199
00:07:59,350 --> 00:08:01,920
please don't tell my grandpa
about me and Britta.
200
00:08:08,667 --> 00:08:10,667
This is not good.
201
00:08:10,898 --> 00:08:13,202
There are so many clouds.
It's so dark!
202
00:08:13,229 --> 00:08:15,405
I can't even see
the Landing Strip
203
00:08:15,453 --> 00:08:17,015
or any of the other nudie bars.
204
00:08:17,035 --> 00:08:18,870
Oh, heaven, help us.
205
00:08:18,892 --> 00:08:21,048
We must be a mile
above the ground.
206
00:08:21,075 --> 00:08:22,866
That's international airspace.
207
00:08:22,878 --> 00:08:24,761
We're literally above the law.
208
00:08:24,851 --> 00:08:26,525
Jeff can marry any man
he wants.
209
00:08:26,543 --> 00:08:27,831
Wait a second, guys.
210
00:08:27,868 --> 00:08:29,769
I think we're starting
to go down.
211
00:08:29,899 --> 00:08:31,580
You see?
Prayer works.
212
00:08:31,606 --> 00:08:33,301
So does gravity, Shirley.
213
00:08:33,320 --> 00:08:35,376
And you know
who invented gravity, right?
214
00:08:35,417 --> 00:08:37,551
- Oh.
- Whoa!
215
00:08:37,585 --> 00:08:41,140
Guys, let's put a pin in the mysteries
of the universe convo until we land.
216
00:08:41,263 --> 00:08:42,659
Which will be sooner
than we thought.
217
00:08:42,691 --> 00:08:44,127
We're gaining
speed fast, people.
218
00:08:44,139 --> 00:08:45,539
Oh!
Brace for impact.
219
00:08:45,563 --> 00:08:48,216
- Oh, damn you, gravity!
- Damn you, prayer!
220
00:08:48,234 --> 00:08:49,506
Damn you, Vicki!
221
00:08:52,717 --> 00:08:54,044
Has anyone else noticed
Professor Duncan
222
00:08:54,069 --> 00:08:55,836
hasn't been around
for a long time?
223
00:08:59,514 --> 00:09:01,145
Maybe I can soften our descent.
224
00:09:01,157 --> 00:09:02,294
Pierce, no!
225
00:09:03,707 --> 00:09:06,238
Bring it to me strong,
old man monkey strength!
226
00:09:10,843 --> 00:09:12,005
Okay.
227
00:09:12,263 --> 00:09:14,976
Okay, obviously,
that was very scary.
228
00:09:14,989 --> 00:09:17,440
Post-traumatic stress
is a real issue,
229
00:09:17,458 --> 00:09:20,470
but with these puppets
giving voice to our feelings,
230
00:09:20,513 --> 00:09:22,915
we can begin to heal.
- Hey, come on.
231
00:09:22,939 --> 00:09:25,958
This is gonna be
a long and arduous process.
232
00:09:25,988 --> 00:09:27,155
There's more.
233
00:09:27,183 --> 00:09:28,767
Hey, well, excuse Dean
234
00:09:28,791 --> 00:09:31,806
for reacting to the natural lull
in your story.
235
00:09:32,134 --> 00:09:33,400
I'm so sorry.
236
00:09:33,709 --> 00:09:36,987
When you hurt, I hurt.
237
00:09:37,946 --> 00:09:38,880
What happened next?
238
00:09:38,914 --> 00:09:40,014
Whoa.
239
00:09:40,048 --> 00:09:41,715
- We made it.
- Everyone okay?
240
00:09:41,731 --> 00:09:43,115
- I'm alive.
- Square.
241
00:09:43,130 --> 00:09:45,186
- Guys, knock it off.
- Okay, still alive?
242
00:09:45,198 --> 00:09:47,073
Okay, we're all safe.
243
00:09:47,186 --> 00:09:49,739
We just have to figure out
how to get back to Greendale.
244
00:09:50,781 --> 00:09:52,268
But we're in the middle
of the woods.
245
00:09:52,293 --> 00:09:53,378
Where do we start?
246
00:09:53,399 --> 00:09:55,750
We need to split into two groups,
the survivors and the others.
247
00:09:55,775 --> 00:09:56,676
Where's the manifest?
248
00:09:56,694 --> 00:09:58,550
Oh, stop it
with your Lost references.
249
00:09:58,566 --> 00:09:59,918
We need to get back home.
250
00:09:59,930 --> 00:10:01,318
What if we're stuck here?
251
00:10:01,364 --> 00:10:02,938
We need to start
a prison system.
252
00:10:02,957 --> 00:10:04,701
We'll be stranded here forever,
253
00:10:04,722 --> 00:10:06,090
and I've never seen
Blue Man Group!
254
00:10:06,117 --> 00:10:08,179
Guys, guys,
we're gonna make it outta here.
255
00:10:08,198 --> 00:10:09,896
We gotta relax.
We're all gonna be fine.
256
00:10:10,111 --> 00:10:11,418
Ahh!
257
00:10:11,435 --> 00:10:12,320
What is that?
258
00:10:12,332 --> 00:10:14,033
I just want to say,
if we're gonna die,
259
00:10:14,039 --> 00:10:14,827
I love you guys.
260
00:10:14,840 --> 00:10:17,552
- I love you all too.
- I did see Blue Man Group.
261
00:10:17,570 --> 00:10:18,865
I just didn't get it.
262
00:10:18,883 --> 00:10:21,045
Why can't they talk?
They have so much in common.
263
00:10:25,189 --> 00:10:26,455
- Others!
- Huh?
264
00:10:27,986 --> 00:10:28,942
Oh!
265
00:10:28,981 --> 00:10:30,212
I'm sorry.
266
00:10:31,194 --> 00:10:32,602
I didn't mean
to startle anybody.
267
00:10:33,476 --> 00:10:35,122
And I thought my hair
looked fake.
268
00:10:35,147 --> 00:10:38,077
Oh, you guys are a long,
long way from Greendale.
269
00:10:38,091 --> 00:10:40,120
How did you know
we're from Greendale?
270
00:10:40,180 --> 00:10:41,476
Oh, from Pierce's shirt.
271
00:10:41,511 --> 00:10:43,274
How did you know
my name is Pierce?
272
00:10:43,298 --> 00:10:45,159
It's embroidered
on your Greendale shirt
273
00:10:45,176 --> 00:10:46,584
you got at the student store.
274
00:10:46,615 --> 00:10:48,556
How'd you know I got it
at the student store?
275
00:10:48,568 --> 00:10:50,914
- I'm a touch psychic.
- Oh! Huh. Hm.
276
00:10:50,936 --> 00:10:53,156
Anyway, I used to go
to Greendale just like you guys
277
00:10:53,179 --> 00:10:55,086
before I came out here
to be free.
278
00:10:55,123 --> 00:10:57,890
So this is
how Greendale graduates end up:
279
00:10:57,903 --> 00:10:59,970
As transient mountain men.
280
00:11:00,031 --> 00:11:02,003
Huh.
Not as bad as I thought.
281
00:11:02,037 --> 00:11:03,904
But don't you miss
having stuff?
282
00:11:03,962 --> 00:11:06,931
Out here,
you have everything you need.
283
00:11:06,985 --> 00:11:09,653
And you can be
whoever you wanna be.
284
00:11:09,688 --> 00:11:10,922
- Huh.
- Oh.
285
00:11:10,956 --> 00:11:12,790
♪ Here in the woods ♪
286
00:11:12,812 --> 00:11:14,595
♪ You're totally free ♪
287
00:11:14,615 --> 00:11:16,439
♪ You can live off the land ♪
288
00:11:16,451 --> 00:11:18,507
♪ And be who you want to be ♪
289
00:11:18,611 --> 00:11:20,630
♪ We can be our own men ♪
290
00:11:20,658 --> 00:11:22,892
♪ And I don't need an "A" ♪
291
00:11:22,919 --> 00:11:26,887
♪ The perfect mom pressure
would all go away ♪
292
00:11:27,171 --> 00:11:29,102
♪ Greendale is crazy ♪
293
00:11:29,120 --> 00:11:31,380
- ♪ And so is that moose ♪
- Hi, Troy.
294
00:11:31,392 --> 00:11:35,130
♪ Greendale turns
people's screws so loose ♪
295
00:11:35,213 --> 00:11:38,889
♪ We're no exception
to tell you the truth ♪
296
00:11:38,908 --> 00:11:41,223
♪ Which is why the woods
is perfect ♪
297
00:11:41,247 --> 00:11:43,033
♪ For all of you ♪
298
00:11:43,057 --> 00:11:46,903
♪ Being socially conscious
can be really tough ♪
299
00:11:46,926 --> 00:11:48,874
Ah.
♪ Here in the woods ♪
300
00:11:48,886 --> 00:11:51,389
♪ You can forget
all that stuff ♪
301
00:11:51,412 --> 00:11:53,446
♪ I don't like the pressure ♪
302
00:11:53,474 --> 00:11:55,708
♪ To always be cool ♪
303
00:11:55,736 --> 00:11:57,195
♪ I was gonna sing that ♪
304
00:11:57,217 --> 00:11:59,518
♪ Now I don't have a rhyme ♪
305
00:11:59,540 --> 00:12:01,363
♪ We all try our hardest ♪
306
00:12:01,385 --> 00:12:03,348
♪ But the pressure in college ♪
307
00:12:03,360 --> 00:12:05,433
♪ Sometimes gets
so tremendous ♪
308
00:12:05,455 --> 00:12:07,490
♪ That it would be stupendous ♪
309
00:12:07,524 --> 00:12:11,350
♪ To be free far away ♪
310
00:12:11,494 --> 00:12:15,445
- ♪ From Greendale ♪
- Mm, ooh, yummy.
311
00:12:15,986 --> 00:12:17,964
♪ I really love these berries ♪
312
00:12:17,991 --> 00:12:20,499
♪ Where are they from? ♪
313
00:12:20,674 --> 00:12:23,142
♪ My hand just made a rainbow ♪
314
00:12:23,171 --> 00:12:25,258
- ♪ And my-- ♪
- ♪ Magic, magic ♪
315
00:12:25,293 --> 00:12:28,244
♪ Well, these magical berries ♪
316
00:12:28,269 --> 00:12:30,269
♪ Put us
in a drug seq-- ♪
317
00:12:30,303 --> 00:12:32,303
♪ They make everything swirly ♪
318
00:12:32,315 --> 00:12:35,089
♪ Whoa, that bush
sounds like Shirley ♪
319
00:12:35,108 --> 00:12:37,120
♪ Now we're free ♪
320
00:12:37,167 --> 00:12:39,895
♪ Far away ♪
321
00:12:40,158 --> 00:12:42,839
♪ From Greendale ♪
322
00:12:42,865 --> 00:12:44,804
Be free, my friends.
323
00:12:44,816 --> 00:12:48,020
- ♪ From Greendale ♪
- Be free.
324
00:12:51,659 --> 00:12:53,078
Simply inspiring.
325
00:12:53,090 --> 00:12:54,956
Ten minutes ago,
you weren't even speaking.
326
00:12:54,975 --> 00:12:57,107
And now, you've admitted
that a strange man
327
00:12:57,139 --> 00:12:59,208
hand-fed you
psychotropic berries.
328
00:12:59,220 --> 00:13:01,108
- This is puppet therapy work--
- Dean!
329
00:13:01,136 --> 00:13:04,305
- There is a fire in the cafeteria.
- Garrett, not now!
330
00:13:07,167 --> 00:13:09,057
Where was I?
Ah! I was healing you.
331
00:13:09,089 --> 00:13:10,523
Hm?
Go on.
332
00:13:10,558 --> 00:13:15,344
Well, those devil berries
freed our minds
333
00:13:15,362 --> 00:13:18,515
and loosened our tongues.
334
00:13:19,559 --> 00:13:23,552
Your skin is so beautiful
335
00:13:23,636 --> 00:13:25,470
and soft.
336
00:13:25,580 --> 00:13:27,303
It's like felt.
337
00:13:30,790 --> 00:13:32,197
I feel so free out here,
338
00:13:32,237 --> 00:13:33,613
like I'm my own man.
339
00:13:33,625 --> 00:13:35,514
If Jeff said
we had to live out here,
340
00:13:35,536 --> 00:13:37,301
I'd totally be down with that.
341
00:13:37,319 --> 00:13:39,013
Me too.
342
00:13:39,119 --> 00:13:40,626
Can I tell you guys a secret?
343
00:13:40,644 --> 00:13:43,887
Yeah, sure.
344
00:13:43,937 --> 00:13:46,003
I was at the grocery store
with my kids,
345
00:13:46,021 --> 00:13:49,472
and I thought I saw Andre
walk by with another woman.
346
00:13:49,546 --> 00:13:51,647
I love women.
347
00:13:51,706 --> 00:13:53,306
Mm.
348
00:13:53,345 --> 00:13:55,253
I'm gonna go take a growler.
349
00:13:55,305 --> 00:13:58,279
Anyway, I wanted
to follow Andre and the woman,
350
00:13:58,298 --> 00:14:00,211
so I left my kids
at the magazine stand
351
00:14:00,242 --> 00:14:02,056
for just a minute, but somehow,
352
00:14:02,081 --> 00:14:04,276
I lost track of time
and ended up tailing them
353
00:14:04,295 --> 00:14:05,984
all the way out of town.
354
00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:08,101
It wasn't even Andre.
355
00:14:08,416 --> 00:14:11,509
The horrible part is
I forgot my kids
356
00:14:11,528 --> 00:14:15,415
and left them all night
in the grocery store.
357
00:14:25,638 --> 00:14:29,450
Well, there y'all go,
giving me that look,
358
00:14:29,630 --> 00:14:31,475
treating me like Judas,
359
00:14:31,499 --> 00:14:33,699
judging me like Judy.
360
00:14:34,350 --> 00:14:37,528
You know, Judge Judy.
She judges people.
361
00:14:37,590 --> 00:14:40,281
Shirley, this is the first
I've heard of you
362
00:14:40,299 --> 00:14:42,269
leaving your kids
in a grocery store.
363
00:14:42,293 --> 00:14:43,156
Me too.
364
00:14:43,191 --> 00:14:44,559
I have no memory
of you saying that.
365
00:14:44,577 --> 00:14:45,795
Well, if you don't know
my secret,
366
00:14:45,820 --> 00:14:47,947
why have we all been
so awkward around each other?
367
00:14:47,968 --> 00:14:50,176
I thought everyone heard
my secret.
368
00:14:50,232 --> 00:14:52,205
I didn't hear you say anything.
369
00:14:52,295 --> 00:14:55,099
So nobody else heard
my terrible secret
370
00:14:55,112 --> 00:14:57,661
about how I...
371
00:14:58,006 --> 00:15:01,041
trail off from time to time?
372
00:15:01,213 --> 00:15:03,047
Did everyone here
reveal a secret?
373
00:15:03,082 --> 00:15:04,148
Mm-hmm.
374
00:15:04,172 --> 00:15:07,631
And no one remembers
anyone else's, including mine?
375
00:15:07,662 --> 00:15:08,971
Mm-mm.
376
00:15:09,021 --> 00:15:11,527
Those berries made
us real talky but
377
00:15:11,720 --> 00:15:13,120
not real listen-y.
378
00:15:13,149 --> 00:15:16,032
So if no one heard or remembers
379
00:15:16,065 --> 00:15:18,434
anything anyone else said...
380
00:15:18,462 --> 00:15:20,075
We're in the clear.
381
00:15:20,099 --> 00:15:21,800
- ♪ We're in the clear ♪
- I'm a genius!
382
00:15:21,834 --> 00:15:23,443
- ♪ We're in the clear ♪
- Yeah!
383
00:15:23,461 --> 00:15:26,736
♪ We're in the clear ♪
384
00:15:27,333 --> 00:15:30,039
Um, guys?
385
00:15:41,737 --> 00:15:43,831
Um, don't mind me.
386
00:15:44,060 --> 00:15:46,518
I'm sure you guys can get on
with your lives without the
387
00:15:46,537 --> 00:15:49,006
worst mom ever.
388
00:15:52,711 --> 00:15:54,219
Sounds good.
Anyone up for a movie?
389
00:15:54,259 --> 00:15:55,793
Abed, sit.
390
00:15:56,157 --> 00:15:58,776
Shirley, you have nothing
to be ashamed of.
391
00:15:58,795 --> 00:16:01,415
No one thinks you're a bad mom.
392
00:16:01,731 --> 00:16:05,053
Thanks, Jeff, but I'm--
I'm just gonna go home now.
393
00:16:05,098 --> 00:16:06,499
Shirley, wait.
394
00:16:06,614 --> 00:16:10,016
I think I know how to make
you feel a little less horrible.
395
00:16:10,051 --> 00:16:12,185
I like where you're headed.
Okay, who's holding?
396
00:16:12,203 --> 00:16:13,041
I have four berries,
397
00:16:13,068 --> 00:16:14,813
but I am saving them
for Laser Floyd.
398
00:16:14,838 --> 00:16:17,861
No, we all need
to re-share our secrets sober.
399
00:16:17,879 --> 00:16:19,055
Oh, God.
400
00:16:19,085 --> 00:16:21,563
Look, we were all
feeling crappy earlier,
401
00:16:21,569 --> 00:16:23,438
but at least we were
feeling crappy together.
402
00:16:23,490 --> 00:16:25,250
Shirley is alone now.
403
00:16:25,282 --> 00:16:27,430
This is the only way to put us
on equal footing,
404
00:16:27,454 --> 00:16:29,909
and if it makes it any easier,
405
00:16:30,019 --> 00:16:31,155
we can use these puppets.
406
00:16:31,188 --> 00:16:32,588
- Ah, yay!
- Shut up.
407
00:16:32,627 --> 00:16:34,255
Okay.
408
00:16:35,768 --> 00:16:37,873
I found the perfect girl
for me,
409
00:16:37,957 --> 00:16:39,623
and then, I met her kid.
410
00:16:39,664 --> 00:16:42,326
♪ I said it didn't bother me ♪
411
00:16:42,351 --> 00:16:45,320
♪ But truthfully it did ♪
412
00:16:45,391 --> 00:16:47,457
♪ I promised him I'd make it ♪
413
00:16:47,486 --> 00:16:50,740
♪ To a baseball game he had ♪
414
00:16:50,815 --> 00:16:53,664
♪ But I bailed
and never called again ♪
415
00:16:53,688 --> 00:16:57,826
♪ And now
I'm just exactly like my dad ♪
416
00:17:03,633 --> 00:17:05,923
♪ I am an activist ♪
417
00:17:05,954 --> 00:17:08,874
♪ That's always been
my choice ♪
418
00:17:08,958 --> 00:17:11,099
♪ Truth is I've never voted ♪
419
00:17:11,118 --> 00:17:14,057
♪ Except when I watch The Voice ♪
420
00:17:14,217 --> 00:17:16,813
♪ I was struggling in history ♪
421
00:17:16,844 --> 00:17:19,551
♪ I'm normally the best ♪
422
00:17:19,842 --> 00:17:22,307
♪ I let Cornwallis
rub my feet ♪
423
00:17:22,332 --> 00:17:27,287
♪ To give me all the answers
to a test ♪
424
00:17:28,186 --> 00:17:30,328
♪ I caused ♪
425
00:17:30,345 --> 00:17:34,703
♪ The Greendale fire ♪
426
00:17:34,713 --> 00:17:39,068
♪ Of '03 ♪
427
00:17:39,128 --> 00:17:41,489
♪ 55 acres ♪
428
00:17:41,501 --> 00:17:44,508
♪ Went up in a blaze ♪
429
00:17:44,601 --> 00:17:49,411
♪ All because I burned
an ant hill ♪
430
00:17:49,558 --> 00:17:52,349
♪ This secret inside me ♪
431
00:17:52,363 --> 00:17:54,898
♪ Was trapped beyond a doubt ♪
432
00:17:55,139 --> 00:18:02,082
♪ And now my most
terrible secret's out ♪
433
00:18:02,105 --> 00:18:03,839
There you are.
434
00:18:03,874 --> 00:18:05,904
Come on, guys.
435
00:18:06,366 --> 00:18:11,298
♪ I've never slept
with the great Eartha Kitt ♪
436
00:18:11,530 --> 00:18:16,801
♪ We dry humped inside
of her tour bus ♪
437
00:18:16,954 --> 00:18:19,657
♪ This secret inside me ♪
438
00:18:19,675 --> 00:18:22,151
♪ Was trapped beyond a doubt ♪
439
00:18:22,638 --> 00:18:29,733
♪ And now my most
terrible secret's out ♪
440
00:18:34,274 --> 00:18:36,383
I wanna thank you all
for being so open,
441
00:18:36,408 --> 00:18:39,556
and honest, and for syncing
your mouth and hand movements.
442
00:18:39,639 --> 00:18:42,506
And now,
for my most terrible secret.
443
00:18:43,088 --> 00:18:45,122
I am not what you would
call traditionally--
444
00:18:45,157 --> 00:18:47,436
Wait, Abed,
you never told us your secret.
445
00:18:47,474 --> 00:18:48,774
- Oh.
- That's right.
446
00:18:48,816 --> 00:18:49,895
I didn't share one that night.
447
00:18:49,914 --> 00:18:50,980
After we got back
from the woods,
448
00:18:50,992 --> 00:18:53,163
everyone was being silent
and not making eye contact.
449
00:18:53,194 --> 00:18:55,682
I didn't know why,
so I mirrored your behavior.
450
00:18:55,705 --> 00:18:56,805
Oh.
451
00:18:56,827 --> 00:18:58,511
Mm.
452
00:18:58,661 --> 00:19:00,175
Thank you, Jeff,
453
00:19:00,209 --> 00:19:02,465
and I don't think you're
anything like your father.
454
00:19:02,574 --> 00:19:05,390
I don't know how you take
care of one kid, let alone three.
455
00:19:05,436 --> 00:19:08,024
Aw.
That's nice.
456
00:19:08,280 --> 00:19:10,982
So nobody thinks
I'm a slutty cheater?
457
00:19:11,016 --> 00:19:12,468
No.
458
00:19:12,509 --> 00:19:14,588
- Or me as a criminal?
- No.
459
00:19:15,352 --> 00:19:19,306
Nobody respects me any less
as a political activist, right?
460
00:19:20,069 --> 00:19:22,197
Well, uh...
461
00:19:24,797 --> 00:19:26,631
The level
to which we respect you
462
00:19:26,665 --> 00:19:29,781
as a political activist
has definitely not changed.
463
00:19:29,806 --> 00:19:30,650
That's right.
464
00:19:30,676 --> 00:19:31,956
- That's how I would say it.
- Exactly.
465
00:19:31,979 --> 00:19:33,404
Whew.
Bye, Dean.
466
00:19:33,425 --> 00:19:35,226
- Bye-bye.
- Bye, Dean.
467
00:19:38,012 --> 00:19:40,210
Knowledge is a party.
468
00:19:40,796 --> 00:19:43,725
Once again,
I help fix everyone's problems
469
00:19:43,737 --> 00:19:46,191
only to go home alone.
470
00:19:46,216 --> 00:19:49,368
Who says you have to be alone?
471
00:19:51,393 --> 00:19:52,723
Jeffrey.
472
00:20:29,186 --> 00:20:31,336
♪ Yeah ♪
473
00:20:34,487 --> 00:20:42,487
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