1 00:00:01,688 --> 00:00:03,989 Jeff, we've known each other a long time, right? 2 00:00:04,149 --> 00:00:06,866 - You've come to respect me. - Sure. 3 00:00:07,027 --> 00:00:09,079 Well, get ready to stop. 4 00:00:09,321 --> 00:00:13,461 Please, help me seduce Britta now that you've finished doing it with her. 5 00:00:13,617 --> 00:00:15,419 - Please. - Do you even like Britta? 6 00:00:15,577 --> 00:00:18,080 Seems like you like her because she doesn't like you. 7 00:00:18,246 --> 00:00:20,086 Have you met the women that do like me? 8 00:00:20,248 --> 00:00:22,585 Neither have I, but trust me, they're bad people. 9 00:00:22,751 --> 00:00:25,681 Fine. To get near Britta, think like Britta. 10 00:00:25,837 --> 00:00:29,183 Grab one of those free papers for hippies, go to the calendar page... 11 00:00:29,341 --> 00:00:32,390 ...and find a cause so tragic... Are you writing this down? 12 00:00:32,552 --> 00:00:36,978 We have confirmation that all the bones were removed from the football field. 13 00:00:37,140 --> 00:00:40,438 We agree teachers should get a 10-minute head start at the job fair. 14 00:00:40,602 --> 00:00:41,990 Any other items? 15 00:00:42,729 --> 00:00:45,695 It's Friday night. What's everybody doing? 16 00:00:45,857 --> 00:00:50,117 Oh, there's a benefit show at the Forefront Theatre in Riverside... 17 00:00:50,278 --> 00:00:53,707 ...for starving children with cleft palates. 18 00:00:55,158 --> 00:00:59,038 Crash the premiere of the Kickpuncher reboot dressed as classic Kickpuncher. 19 00:00:59,204 --> 00:01:02,798 They shouldn't have redesigned that costume. Keep your heads in the sand. 20 00:01:02,958 --> 00:01:06,256 Professor Duncan, I didn't know that cause interested you. 21 00:01:06,419 --> 00:01:08,804 It's starving children with cleft palates, Britta. 22 00:01:08,964 --> 00:01:11,348 What part would you have me be disinterested in? 23 00:01:11,508 --> 00:01:14,011 Forefront Theatre? What time? I'm going. 24 00:01:15,679 --> 00:01:16,972 - I'm going too. - Me too. 25 00:01:17,138 --> 00:01:20,852 Kids with cleft palates should have extra food, not less. I'm in. 26 00:01:21,852 --> 00:01:25,695 I have dinner plans. 27 00:01:25,856 --> 00:01:28,703 - Really? - Yeah, make sure it's a hearty meal. 28 00:01:28,859 --> 00:01:30,116 - Butter! - Help me out here. 29 00:01:30,277 --> 00:01:32,661 - Yeah. Yeah. - Well... 30 00:01:33,780 --> 00:01:36,995 Are you really the one that needs help here, Winger? 31 00:01:37,159 --> 00:01:39,460 Should we write a cheque to the Jeff Foundation? 32 00:01:39,619 --> 00:01:41,874 Okay, maybe I'll go too. 33 00:01:42,038 --> 00:01:43,675 Well, it's the least you can do. 34 00:01:43,832 --> 00:01:45,588 Yeah, feels good to help. 35 00:01:45,750 --> 00:01:47,590 God bless you. 36 00:01:48,378 --> 00:01:51,012 Cool, so 7:30? 37 00:02:18,742 --> 00:02:19,869 Sure, open arms. 38 00:02:20,035 --> 00:02:21,921 Did you get it? I don't think I got it. 39 00:02:22,078 --> 00:02:25,507 Well, the ants were people. The queen ant was an oil company. 40 00:02:25,665 --> 00:02:28,679 Okay, so it was about our marginalized perceptions as drones... 41 00:02:28,835 --> 00:02:33,557 - ...born into a corporate hive mind? - Yeah, wow. 42 00:02:33,715 --> 00:02:36,100 - McDonald's? - Oh, I was just thinking about that. 43 00:02:36,259 --> 00:02:37,600 - Hungry. - Hello? 44 00:02:37,761 --> 00:02:39,730 Okay, Alessandra, I can't talk right now. 45 00:02:39,888 --> 00:02:41,691 I just got out of a show. 46 00:02:42,015 --> 00:02:43,736 Okay, hold on. 47 00:02:45,310 --> 00:02:46,900 Well? 48 00:02:47,646 --> 00:02:50,030 Look, if you're gonna just yell at me, why even...? 49 00:02:50,190 --> 00:02:51,862 Why are you doing this? 50 00:02:52,150 --> 00:02:56,457 This is not happening to you, okay, it's happening to us! 51 00:02:56,613 --> 00:02:58,665 Well, you called me! 52 00:02:58,824 --> 00:03:03,165 Well, then let me be the one to do this! 53 00:03:14,506 --> 00:03:18,018 My mother used to tell a story about how she killed a chicken. 54 00:03:21,304 --> 00:03:24,022 Hong Kong, 1964. 55 00:03:24,182 --> 00:03:26,686 - So you like the theatre, Ian? - Oh, are you kidding? 56 00:03:26,852 --> 00:03:29,865 I spent half my days at university in wigs and tights. 57 00:03:30,021 --> 00:03:33,118 You don't do that without befriending some actors. 58 00:03:33,650 --> 00:03:34,861 Oh, my God, Michael. 59 00:03:35,026 --> 00:03:37,114 I know Michael from my anarchist days. 60 00:03:37,279 --> 00:03:40,209 God, he's gonna smell the sellout on me. 61 00:03:42,534 --> 00:03:43,957 Hey, how's it going? 62 00:03:44,119 --> 00:03:45,293 - Oh, my God. - Oh, my God. 63 00:03:45,453 --> 00:03:46,628 - What's going on? - Well... 64 00:03:46,788 --> 00:03:49,125 - I don't like this Michael. - He doesn't like himself. 65 00:03:49,291 --> 00:03:50,797 Or he'd pronounce it "Michael." 66 00:03:50,959 --> 00:03:53,640 Isn't she great? She's everything I love about America. 67 00:03:53,795 --> 00:03:56,974 Bold, opinionated, just past her peak... 68 00:03:57,132 --> 00:03:59,979 ...and starting to realise that she has to settle for less. 69 00:04:00,135 --> 00:04:03,148 And the moment she needs a shoulder to cry on: 70 00:04:04,222 --> 00:04:06,274 - The Duncan handkerchief. - Well, I'm out. 71 00:04:06,433 --> 00:04:11,238 Have fun circling my former lover, waiting for her to cry. 72 00:04:11,396 --> 00:04:14,410 I tried to make that sound good, but that's what you're doing. 73 00:04:17,194 --> 00:04:19,911 You're all heroes tonight for making a difference... 74 00:04:20,071 --> 00:04:23,334 ...but I want to introduce one of my heroes. 75 00:04:23,742 --> 00:04:25,581 Britta Perry. 76 00:04:27,329 --> 00:04:29,085 She is the bravest... 77 00:04:29,247 --> 00:04:34,135 ...most passionate activist I have ever had the honour of imitating. 78 00:04:34,294 --> 00:04:36,762 So, hey, buy her a drink. 79 00:04:37,380 --> 00:04:39,386 Anything you wanna add, Britta? 80 00:04:40,425 --> 00:04:46,393 I'm no hero. I'm a high-school dropout and a bartender, so don't listen to me. 81 00:04:48,099 --> 00:04:49,440 Or anyone. 82 00:04:49,601 --> 00:04:51,736 Just listen to yourself... 83 00:04:51,895 --> 00:04:54,529 ...and make sure you tell yourself the truth. 84 00:04:56,566 --> 00:05:00,327 - Well, it was great seeing you, so... - I might stay for one drink. 85 00:05:00,487 --> 00:05:02,741 - Why? - I like to drink. 86 00:05:02,906 --> 00:05:05,243 - Oh, really? - Yeah, I have a serious problem. 87 00:05:05,408 --> 00:05:07,129 That had better be true. 88 00:05:13,917 --> 00:05:15,969 Cool. Cool, cool, cool. 89 00:05:25,720 --> 00:05:27,013 I am Kickpuncher. 90 00:05:27,180 --> 00:05:29,316 You are in violation of future law. 91 00:05:40,235 --> 00:05:41,991 Damn it, come on. 92 00:05:45,824 --> 00:05:47,959 - What are you doing? - What? 93 00:05:48,368 --> 00:05:49,791 What are you doing? 94 00:05:49,953 --> 00:05:53,417 Making a costume. Annie banned glue guns after an incident so hilarious... 95 00:05:53,582 --> 00:05:56,085 ...describing it would eclipse what's happening here. 96 00:05:56,251 --> 00:05:59,430 - What's happening here? - You and me bonding. Check it out. 97 00:06:02,674 --> 00:06:04,928 If you were a post-apocalyptic survivor... 98 00:06:05,093 --> 00:06:08,190 I would raise goats, hoard cinnamon, and travel only at night. 99 00:06:08,346 --> 00:06:10,980 But, please, I have some work to do here. 100 00:06:11,141 --> 00:06:14,984 Just one thing. Watch this. Initiate ballistic foam. 101 00:06:28,533 --> 00:06:30,040 - What the hell? - Sorry. 102 00:06:30,202 --> 00:06:32,456 You just destroyed five hours of work. 103 00:06:32,621 --> 00:06:34,673 - I'll clean it up. - No, you don't touch it. 104 00:06:39,044 --> 00:06:42,721 I know this is bad timing, but I should go if I'm gonna make the movie, so... 105 00:06:45,383 --> 00:06:49,227 - What are you doing? - Oh, something nobody ever does. 106 00:06:49,387 --> 00:06:51,024 Teaching you consequences. 107 00:06:53,058 --> 00:06:54,861 - But I have to go. - But you can't. 108 00:06:55,018 --> 00:06:58,233 Isn't that crazy? You ever been grounded? You ever been punished? 109 00:06:58,396 --> 00:07:01,493 Do you have any idea what it feels like to be refused something? 110 00:07:01,650 --> 00:07:04,330 I know what it feels like when people try to control me. 111 00:07:04,486 --> 00:07:06,787 You should know it never goes their way. 112 00:07:07,072 --> 00:07:09,658 And what Kickypunch movie is that from? 113 00:07:09,825 --> 00:07:13,171 The ones you've seen, or the one I'm gonna watch you miss? 114 00:07:20,669 --> 00:07:22,259 I said I was sorry. 115 00:07:22,420 --> 00:07:26,347 I'm sorry I punched my landlord, but I'm not getting my deposit back. 116 00:07:26,508 --> 00:07:29,142 That's you being punished for choosing to hurt someone. 117 00:07:29,302 --> 00:07:31,639 - I wrecked your papers by accident. - You chose... 118 00:07:31,805 --> 00:07:34,902 ...to spray this crap on purpose. You didn't care what happened. 119 00:07:35,058 --> 00:07:37,063 I'll tell you something. For five years... 120 00:07:37,227 --> 00:07:40,157 ...I have watched people walk around on your eggshells. 121 00:07:40,313 --> 00:07:43,243 "Oh, Abed. He's so imaginative, so magical. 122 00:07:43,400 --> 00:07:44,953 Everybody hide their hamburgers. 123 00:07:45,110 --> 00:07:48,207 If Abed sees a hamburger, we'll all travel in time. 124 00:07:48,363 --> 00:07:50,036 Let's eat cookies and ice cream... 125 00:07:50,198 --> 00:07:52,583 ...and dress in pyjamas in the middle of the day." 126 00:07:52,742 --> 00:07:55,839 I watched my third wife die. 127 00:07:58,456 --> 00:07:59,500 You think I'm spoiled? 128 00:08:00,292 --> 00:08:03,922 And you think I'm spoiled because it's never occurred to anyone to do this? 129 00:08:04,087 --> 00:08:07,017 You're not Marco Polo of bullying me, just another tourist... 130 00:08:07,174 --> 00:08:09,558 - ...taking pictures of a wall. - Gonna make me cry. 131 00:08:09,718 --> 00:08:12,186 - Has someone physically limited you? - Oh, just now. 132 00:08:12,345 --> 00:08:15,809 You physically ruined my drawings. 133 00:08:16,641 --> 00:08:18,481 Drawings of what? 134 00:08:20,103 --> 00:08:21,859 You're an artist? 135 00:08:23,231 --> 00:08:25,486 I destroyed something valuable? 136 00:08:29,279 --> 00:08:31,201 Looked like you were doodling chickens. 137 00:08:31,364 --> 00:08:32,752 He is a duck. 138 00:08:37,746 --> 00:08:41,708 Hey, you're not allowed in there. 139 00:08:41,875 --> 00:08:44,556 Well, I just did a one-man show for a little audience... 140 00:08:44,711 --> 00:08:47,843 - ...that would beg to disagree. - Audience? In there? 141 00:08:48,006 --> 00:08:52,182 We haven't had a single person or performance in that theatre... 142 00:08:52,344 --> 00:08:54,645 ...since the 1997 fire. 143 00:08:54,804 --> 00:08:57,355 Twenty-four people died. 144 00:08:58,850 --> 00:09:00,523 So, what have you guys been up to? 145 00:09:00,685 --> 00:09:03,615 This. Raising money, organising, trying to make a difference. 146 00:09:03,772 --> 00:09:06,358 I'm impressed, and embarrassed. I sold out. 147 00:09:06,525 --> 00:09:08,197 - We sold out. - You did not sell out. 148 00:09:08,360 --> 00:09:10,863 I'm going to community college to start a career. 149 00:09:11,029 --> 00:09:13,995 We're in real estate. We own the building we're standing in. 150 00:09:14,449 --> 00:09:16,537 Wow, you guys did sell out. 151 00:09:16,701 --> 00:09:17,959 I know. 152 00:09:18,411 --> 00:09:20,582 I should introduce myself to her friends and... 153 00:09:20,747 --> 00:09:23,428 I knew it. You don't have a drinking problem. 154 00:09:23,583 --> 00:09:26,217 You have feelings for Britta, you disgusting monster. 155 00:09:26,378 --> 00:09:29,261 Fine, yes. Something about everybody liking her turns me on. 156 00:09:29,422 --> 00:09:30,466 It's a problem I have. 157 00:09:30,632 --> 00:09:33,100 I hated Reese's Pieces before E.T. ate them. Sorry. 158 00:09:33,260 --> 00:09:36,059 - You're a bad friend. - That's not fair. 159 00:09:36,221 --> 00:09:39,021 Wait, that's really not fair. You're a terrible friend. 160 00:09:39,182 --> 00:09:40,393 She was mine first. 161 00:09:40,559 --> 00:09:42,730 - Not like she belongs to anybody. - Here we go. 162 00:09:42,894 --> 00:09:45,279 "Love isn't a game," say the guys that always win. 163 00:09:45,438 --> 00:09:49,069 Now you're gonna pull a Dane Cook in one of those three movies he was in... 164 00:09:49,234 --> 00:09:51,488 ...about Dane Cook getting laid by accident. 165 00:09:51,653 --> 00:09:57,419 Only it's not a Dane Cook movie, Jeff, because this time someone's watching. 166 00:09:57,576 --> 00:10:00,922 Me, your friend, British Jason Biggs. 167 00:10:01,079 --> 00:10:04,923 If you never call me Dane Cook again, I'll stand down. 168 00:10:05,458 --> 00:10:08,840 - For an hour. - Okay, an hour. 169 00:10:12,841 --> 00:10:15,771 Are your drawings a secret? You do them when nobody's around? 170 00:10:15,927 --> 00:10:19,771 Not that it's any of your business, but I am a cartoonist in my spare time. 171 00:10:19,931 --> 00:10:22,779 My cartoon's about a duck. I was drawing him. 172 00:10:22,934 --> 00:10:25,189 Does the duck have a name? Does he have powers? 173 00:10:25,353 --> 00:10:27,275 I'm not pitching to you. 174 00:10:27,772 --> 00:10:29,825 - You're afraid I won't like it. - Sure. 175 00:10:29,983 --> 00:10:34,622 Been a cab driver, soldier, a cop, but what terrifies me the most... 176 00:10:34,779 --> 00:10:37,745 ...is the opinion of a man-child in cardboard pants. 177 00:10:37,908 --> 00:10:40,328 Kickpuncher was a cop before he became a cyborg. 178 00:10:40,494 --> 00:10:43,459 So you were a cop before you became this. 179 00:10:43,622 --> 00:10:48,011 And what were you before this? Were you normal? 180 00:10:48,168 --> 00:10:52,130 Or you act like this because somebody stuffed you in a locker? Is that it? 181 00:10:52,297 --> 00:10:55,145 Other way around. What else do you wanna know about me? 182 00:10:55,300 --> 00:10:56,937 - Can you stop talking? - Let me go. 183 00:10:57,093 --> 00:11:00,023 - After you missed your movie. - Because you want me to suffer. 184 00:11:00,180 --> 00:11:02,481 For destroying your duck cartoons? 185 00:11:02,641 --> 00:11:03,982 The ones you're ashamed of? 186 00:11:28,667 --> 00:11:30,921 Which one were you laughing at? 187 00:11:33,004 --> 00:11:36,137 No, no, no, stop that! You're ghosts! 188 00:11:36,299 --> 00:11:37,343 We're ghosts? 189 00:11:37,509 --> 00:11:40,012 The janitor out there told me you died in 1997. 190 00:11:40,679 --> 00:11:42,518 Janitor? 191 00:11:44,224 --> 00:11:46,194 Hey, those guys in there told me... 192 00:11:46,351 --> 00:11:49,364 ...that you're the one that died in a fire, and you're a ghost. 193 00:11:49,521 --> 00:11:51,692 And you just believed them? 194 00:11:51,857 --> 00:11:55,487 You just believed a bunch of ghosts? 195 00:12:02,701 --> 00:12:05,204 Have you guys seen that billboard on Water Street... 196 00:12:05,370 --> 00:12:07,458 ...for Consensual perfume? 197 00:12:07,622 --> 00:12:11,134 The man chasing the woman through the grass, says, "Proven in its field." 198 00:12:11,293 --> 00:12:14,425 Yeah, proven in its field and in labs on the eyeballs of rabbits. 199 00:12:14,588 --> 00:12:17,601 We should make it say that. Who's got the spray paint? 200 00:12:19,509 --> 00:12:22,641 No, guys, I'm serious. Doug and Janet, you're on lookout. 201 00:12:22,804 --> 00:12:26,067 Michael works the ladder. I will Banksy that mother! 202 00:12:26,224 --> 00:12:28,728 Come on, guys, we gotta start taking risks again. 203 00:12:28,894 --> 00:12:32,073 Oh, well, that's convenient for the one with nothing to lose. 204 00:12:34,357 --> 00:12:38,747 Oh, so the person with the least wealth has the least valid argument? 205 00:12:38,904 --> 00:12:39,947 That's convenient. 206 00:12:40,530 --> 00:12:43,627 Britta, how many people have you fed this year besides yourself? 207 00:12:43,783 --> 00:12:47,378 - Oh, Janet. - No, I spent enough time feeling bad. 208 00:12:50,957 --> 00:12:53,045 Fight the power. 209 00:13:05,764 --> 00:13:07,983 - Would you like to go...? - Yeah. 210 00:13:08,141 --> 00:13:11,320 Yeah? Oh, my God. 211 00:13:24,950 --> 00:13:26,077 These are really good. 212 00:13:26,785 --> 00:13:31,293 It helps me see why you were so upset. I ruin anything as good as what's here? 213 00:13:31,456 --> 00:13:33,177 Just practice drawings. 214 00:13:33,333 --> 00:13:36,133 I have to practise drawing the duck from different angles. 215 00:13:36,294 --> 00:13:39,925 It's hard when his back's turned three-quarters because of the beak. 216 00:13:41,550 --> 00:13:44,896 - Well, I'm a real jerk for wrecking it. - You didn't do it on purpose. 217 00:13:45,053 --> 00:13:47,390 - Doesn't excuse my behaviour. - I appreciate that. 218 00:13:47,556 --> 00:13:49,643 It's a good apology. You're a good kid. 219 00:13:51,977 --> 00:13:53,318 All right. 220 00:13:53,478 --> 00:13:57,571 Well, I can see from the clock that if I hit all the green lights, then... 221 00:13:57,732 --> 00:14:00,450 Sorry, can't let you go. It'd undercut the larger lesson. 222 00:14:00,610 --> 00:14:04,323 The lesson being you're very talented, but I can't walk into a movie after... 223 00:14:04,489 --> 00:14:06,126 You're not going to the movie. 224 00:14:09,077 --> 00:14:10,121 Yes, I am. 225 00:14:10,287 --> 00:14:12,126 - You need this. - Let me go. 226 00:14:12,289 --> 00:14:13,879 This is you learning. 227 00:14:14,040 --> 00:14:16,010 You're a bad person and a bad cartoonist. 228 00:14:16,168 --> 00:14:18,718 You go ahead. Hurt my feelings. 229 00:14:18,879 --> 00:14:21,512 Your feelings? Considered putting them into your work? 230 00:14:21,673 --> 00:14:23,844 Your cartoons are monuments to joylessness... 231 00:14:24,009 --> 00:14:26,690 ...jokes based on nothing from your life or anyone's. 232 00:14:26,845 --> 00:14:28,815 You're furious at me for being creative. 233 00:14:28,972 --> 00:14:31,902 You wanna create. You have this rage, shame and loneliness... 234 00:14:32,058 --> 00:14:35,072 ...which I don't know how to feel, and you put what on paper? 235 00:14:35,228 --> 00:14:38,776 Jim the Duck. I'm crazy? Something's wrong with me? Jim the Duck? 236 00:14:38,940 --> 00:14:41,408 - Publishers are interested! - Publishers are stupid. 237 00:14:41,568 --> 00:14:43,869 That or you're misinterpreting a form letter. 238 00:14:44,029 --> 00:14:45,072 - Shut up. - You shut up. 239 00:14:45,238 --> 00:14:46,662 - You shut up. - Are we yelling? 240 00:14:46,823 --> 00:14:50,667 - You're a self-centered, egotistical... - I'm yelling, I'm yelling! 241 00:14:50,827 --> 00:14:53,591 And you're not talented! You made me miss my movie! 242 00:14:57,083 --> 00:14:59,254 You made me miss my movie. 243 00:15:11,306 --> 00:15:15,399 In the words of your hacky duck, "What the hell?" 244 00:15:20,857 --> 00:15:22,743 Do you like music? 245 00:15:23,235 --> 00:15:26,034 Everyone likes music. What are you, a fish? 246 00:15:26,196 --> 00:15:29,459 I have... I tell you what we could listen to. 247 00:15:29,616 --> 00:15:32,250 Do you know Rimples and Splikket? 248 00:15:32,410 --> 00:15:35,258 They were the British Laurel and Hardy. 249 00:15:37,332 --> 00:15:38,886 Most of their stuff is timeless. 250 00:15:39,042 --> 00:15:42,174 But you do need to know that the prime minister went to Oxford... 251 00:15:42,337 --> 00:15:45,267 ...not Cambridge, as the sketch implies. 252 00:15:45,423 --> 00:15:50,679 - Are they speaking English? - Okay, '80s German techno it is. 253 00:15:52,055 --> 00:15:54,606 - Do you have any friends? - Sorry? 254 00:15:54,766 --> 00:15:59,488 I've defined myself with reactions to and from other people my whole life. 255 00:15:59,646 --> 00:16:04,071 Now I feel worthless just because I'm worthless in relation to my friends... 256 00:16:04,234 --> 00:16:06,619 ...which means they're not my friends. 257 00:16:06,778 --> 00:16:08,071 Who are your friends? 258 00:16:08,238 --> 00:16:09,792 Well, there's my neighbour, Pat. 259 00:16:09,948 --> 00:16:12,249 I try to stay on his good side. I owe him money. 260 00:16:12,409 --> 00:16:16,039 There's Jeff. I'd call you a friend. Well, in fact, I'd call you and Jeff... 261 00:16:16,204 --> 00:16:20,167 Right, you and Jeff have known each other longer than anybody, huh? 262 00:16:20,333 --> 00:16:24,046 I always forget that, I guess because you guys don't really act like friends. 263 00:16:26,923 --> 00:16:30,471 Yeah, I guess not so much. 264 00:16:31,428 --> 00:16:32,816 Where are we going? 265 00:16:35,640 --> 00:16:40,778 Well, I think you should go home... 266 00:16:40,937 --> 00:16:43,820 ...because you're having an existential crisis... 267 00:16:43,982 --> 00:16:46,782 ...and the best lesson you could take away from it... 268 00:16:46,943 --> 00:16:50,574 ...is that you are someone, even when you're by yourself. 269 00:16:51,031 --> 00:16:52,584 I think you're right. Thank you. 270 00:16:52,741 --> 00:16:56,703 And please don't take of fence at this, but thank you for not hitting on me. 271 00:16:56,870 --> 00:17:00,133 I was just vulnerable enough to do something really stupid. 272 00:17:02,209 --> 00:17:05,507 - What's wrong? - Nothing, nothing. It's nothing. The... 273 00:17:05,670 --> 00:17:08,933 The stupid steering wheel is on the wrong side of the car. 274 00:17:14,095 --> 00:17:16,681 - What are you doing here? - I wanna show you something. 275 00:17:20,560 --> 00:17:21,604 What's this? 276 00:17:22,854 --> 00:17:25,073 It's a script I wrote about a cop on the edge. 277 00:17:25,232 --> 00:17:29,372 Troy thought it's hilarious. I don't have the heart to tell him it wasn't a comedy. 278 00:17:29,528 --> 00:17:32,375 - Why give this to me? - I know filmmaking tricks and tropes. 279 00:17:32,531 --> 00:17:35,627 But what I'm missing is what the critics call substance... 280 00:17:35,784 --> 00:17:37,374 ...which is you more than me. 281 00:17:37,536 --> 00:17:39,291 You wanna be film partners? 282 00:17:46,628 --> 00:17:50,721 "It's time for Justice. Police Justice." 283 00:17:50,882 --> 00:17:53,386 Wait, the character's name is Police Justice? 284 00:17:54,344 --> 00:17:56,681 Yeah, I think I may be able to help. 285 00:17:57,389 --> 00:17:58,895 I'm sorry for the stuff I said. 286 00:18:01,935 --> 00:18:03,655 Me too. 287 00:18:03,812 --> 00:18:04,856 Sit down. 288 00:18:11,069 --> 00:18:12,243 You drink Scotch? 289 00:18:12,404 --> 00:18:14,243 - No. - You're gonna. 290 00:18:16,575 --> 00:18:19,707 Hey, handsome. This stool taken? 291 00:18:20,245 --> 00:18:23,210 - Struck out, huh? - If that makes you feel better. 292 00:18:23,373 --> 00:18:27,466 Or maybe I just realised that I was spending the whole night... 293 00:18:27,627 --> 00:18:29,882 ...getting to third base with the wrong person. 294 00:18:32,257 --> 00:18:35,935 You're a good friend, and I don't say that often enough. 295 00:18:36,094 --> 00:18:39,108 That's really nice. But you can't have sex with me. 296 00:18:39,806 --> 00:18:41,609 How about we have these drinks... 297 00:18:41,766 --> 00:18:45,943 ...and then not have sex with anyone together? 298 00:18:46,104 --> 00:18:47,907 Sounds good. 299 00:18:48,607 --> 00:18:49,864 Cheers. 300 00:18:50,025 --> 00:18:52,196 A 9-millimetre's better than a 10-millimetre? 301 00:18:52,360 --> 00:18:55,575 Millimetre don't make no difference. Bullets just kind of kill you. 302 00:18:55,739 --> 00:18:58,918 "Bullets just kind of kill you." Are you quoting something? Can I use that? 303 00:18:59,117 --> 00:19:00,873 - Yeah. - You left your handkerchief... 304 00:19:01,036 --> 00:19:02,293 ...at my place last night. 305 00:19:02,454 --> 00:19:03,747 We had a boys' night. 306 00:19:03,914 --> 00:19:06,500 A bottle of booze, an argument about sports cars... 307 00:19:06,666 --> 00:19:09,680 ...and I cut my hand trying to prove that I can whittle. 308 00:19:09,836 --> 00:19:11,758 Me too. 309 00:19:12,964 --> 00:19:15,100 - Oh, hey. How was your night? - Great. 310 00:19:15,258 --> 00:19:18,556 I had a monumental evening by myself. 311 00:19:19,471 --> 00:19:21,108 I almost feel left out. 312 00:19:21,264 --> 00:19:23,945 Well, we've had our share of focus lately. 313 00:19:24,100 --> 00:19:25,144 Speak for yourself. 314 00:19:27,729 --> 00:19:29,900 I'm fine. I just... 315 00:19:30,982 --> 00:19:35,158 Do you guys believe in ghosts? And if you do... 316 00:19:35,320 --> 00:19:38,452 ...do you believe what those ghosts tell you about other ghosts? 317 00:19:38,615 --> 00:19:42,957 Chang, you cannot be on the committee if you're going to be actively insane. 318 00:19:43,119 --> 00:19:49,336 I'm not insane. I just had a weird experience at the theatre last night. 319 00:19:49,501 --> 00:19:50,842 - You were there? - You were? 320 00:19:51,002 --> 00:19:53,802 - What? Of course I was. - I guess we just didn't see you. 321 00:19:56,341 --> 00:20:00,683 Well, the ants were people. The queen ant was an oil company. 322 00:20:04,683 --> 00:20:06,189 What if I don't exist? 323 00:20:06,351 --> 00:20:09,982 Oh, I got this. I had a very similar night last night. 324 00:20:10,147 --> 00:20:13,279 Go home, light some candles, and take a bath. 325 00:20:13,441 --> 00:20:15,281 Okay, coolsies. 326 00:20:15,443 --> 00:20:18,872 - I don't know what I would do without... - Just don't let anyone... 327 00:20:19,322 --> 00:20:21,327 All we have to do is... 328 00:20:43,805 --> 00:20:45,608 Hey, I was thinking off-campus lunch. 329 00:20:45,765 --> 00:20:47,652 What's that Tex-Mex place you mentioned? 330 00:20:47,809 --> 00:20:49,861 Salsa Von Taco's? Read my mind. 331 00:20:53,565 --> 00:20:55,404 - No, no. - Oh, no, no, no. 332 00:20:55,567 --> 00:20:56,860 No, no, no. 333 00:20:57,027 --> 00:20:58,664 - No. - Okay, yeah. 334 00:20:59,571 --> 00:21:00,615 No. Well, let's go. 335 00:21:00,780 --> 00:21:01,955 - No. - No. Nothing for... 336 00:21:02,115 --> 00:21:03,159 Well... Okay. 337 00:21:03,325 --> 00:21:04,997 You just... Okay. 338 00:21:05,160 --> 00:21:08,339 - I just don't like being left behind. - Well... No, no, no. 339 00:21:08,497 --> 00:21:11,130 My father got drunk in pubs and left me in my room! 340 00:21:11,291 --> 00:21:14,055 - So did mine! So did mine! - Why would he do that? 341 00:21:14,211 --> 00:21:15,468 Why do they do that? 342 00:21:15,629 --> 00:21:18,678 - Why? - Why do they do that? 343 00:21:20,342 --> 00:21:22,596 I won't go to that Tex-Mex place. 344 00:21:22,761 --> 00:21:24,647 Oh, that's all I wanted you to say.