1 00:00:01,275 --> 00:00:04,656 Okay, we'll get an estimate on adding grass to the soccer field. 2 00:00:04,820 --> 00:00:06,493 Good meeting. 3 00:00:06,655 --> 00:00:08,826 Oh, Jeff, what time's dinner? 4 00:00:09,742 --> 00:00:12,672 - Dinner? - Jeff, you didn't invite Shirley? 5 00:00:12,828 --> 00:00:16,921 Well, it's Tuesday. Shirley always goes to Elijah's karate practise on Tuesdays. 6 00:00:17,082 --> 00:00:20,179 It's okay. Part of making sacrifices for my loved ones... 7 00:00:20,336 --> 00:00:23,682 ...is not expecting my loved ones to make sacrifices. 8 00:00:25,549 --> 00:00:27,934 - I can do tomorrow. - I can't. 9 00:00:28,093 --> 00:00:30,774 - I'm free on Fridays and Mondays... - We're not moving it. 10 00:00:32,223 --> 00:00:34,856 When Shirley can have dinner, we'll have another dinner... 11 00:00:35,017 --> 00:00:36,987 ...because it's just dinner. 12 00:00:37,144 --> 00:00:40,775 And there's no need to manipulate each other. You know that's what you do. 13 00:00:40,940 --> 00:00:44,950 You know you're doing it now with that face. 14 00:00:45,110 --> 00:00:46,534 You don't like my face? 15 00:00:50,157 --> 00:00:52,209 Hello, Save Greendale Committee. 16 00:00:52,368 --> 00:00:56,710 This is David and Bixel. They're app designers. 17 00:00:56,872 --> 00:01:00,882 They'd like to beta test their latest social-networking app on our campus... 18 00:01:01,043 --> 00:01:04,140 ...which could be good for us. Look what Facebook did for Harvard. 19 00:01:04,296 --> 00:01:07,262 Hey, guys, Bixel and I would like to introduce you... 20 00:01:07,424 --> 00:01:09,975 ...to a little app called MeowMeowBeenz. 21 00:01:10,678 --> 00:01:13,359 MeowMeowBeenz lets you say how much you like... 22 00:01:13,514 --> 00:01:15,685 ...who you like, when you like... 23 00:01:15,850 --> 00:01:18,483 ...all from a standard non-boost mobile phone. 24 00:01:18,644 --> 00:01:20,234 Let's see how it works. 25 00:01:20,396 --> 00:01:23,694 Bixel, what did you think of the way the dean introduced us? 26 00:01:23,858 --> 00:01:25,068 I thought he did great. 27 00:01:25,234 --> 00:01:29,114 That's why I'm giving him five MeowMeowBeenz. 28 00:01:29,280 --> 00:01:34,369 Well, Bixel, I'm sorry, but I thought his intro was just okay. 29 00:01:34,535 --> 00:01:39,922 That's why I'm gonna give him two out of five MeowMeowBeenz. 30 00:01:40,499 --> 00:01:41,757 My MeowMeowBeenz. 31 00:01:41,917 --> 00:01:44,765 With MeowMeowBeenz, students can rate teachers. 32 00:01:44,920 --> 00:01:46,261 Teachers can rate students. 33 00:01:46,422 --> 00:01:49,269 Everyone and anyone can rate each other. 34 00:01:49,425 --> 00:01:50,931 - MeowMeowBeenz. - MeowMeowBeenz. 35 00:01:51,927 --> 00:01:54,941 You know, I could... 36 00:01:56,974 --> 00:01:59,478 I fought for this country... 37 00:01:59,727 --> 00:02:04,567 ...and I know you don't get to pick and choose the parts you fight for... 38 00:02:04,732 --> 00:02:06,285 ...but I know... 39 00:02:06,442 --> 00:02:08,743 I should go number two soon. 40 00:02:41,727 --> 00:02:43,649 Hurry up. I'm late for Human Rights class. 41 00:02:43,812 --> 00:02:45,319 I'm sorry. 42 00:02:45,898 --> 00:02:47,903 Why is Starburns carrying Garrett's books? 43 00:02:48,067 --> 00:02:49,988 It's like toast bossing crackers around. 44 00:02:50,152 --> 00:02:52,620 - I mean, I guess. - Garrett's got three MeowMeowBeenz. 45 00:02:52,780 --> 00:02:55,579 - Starburns is at two. - People are using this stupid app? 46 00:02:55,741 --> 00:02:57,829 - It's effective. - No, it's effectively stupid. 47 00:02:57,993 --> 00:03:01,256 There was a rating system in place called "cool people get more"... 48 00:03:01,413 --> 00:03:02,671 ...and it was working fine. 49 00:03:02,832 --> 00:03:05,715 MeowMeowBeenz takes everything about human interaction... 50 00:03:05,876 --> 00:03:08,344 ...and reduces it to explicit, objective numbers. 51 00:03:08,504 --> 00:03:09,761 I've never felt more alive. 52 00:03:09,922 --> 00:03:12,307 As long as you're happy, I'm unsettled. 53 00:03:13,175 --> 00:03:14,729 Hey, guys. 54 00:03:15,636 --> 00:03:18,436 - What happened to you? - I sat so long, my feet fell asleep. 55 00:03:18,597 --> 00:03:21,065 Then I noticed limping was getting MeowMeowBeenz... 56 00:03:21,225 --> 00:03:23,859 ...so I just kind of started committing. 57 00:03:24,019 --> 00:03:26,440 Did you understand a word he said? 58 00:03:36,699 --> 00:03:39,083 Hey, here you go. Here you go. 59 00:03:39,243 --> 00:03:42,541 Nobody is gonna down-vote a guy on his birthday. 60 00:03:42,705 --> 00:03:45,837 - Wait. Are you using MeowMeowBeenz? - If you can't kill it, join it. 61 00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:47,839 You get older, you see warning signs. 62 00:03:48,002 --> 00:03:51,430 Mark Zuckerberg is Fidel Castro in flip-flops. 63 00:03:51,589 --> 00:03:55,350 MeowMeowBeenz is gonna make East Berlin look like Woodstock. 64 00:03:55,509 --> 00:03:56,720 You take my word for that. 65 00:03:57,261 --> 00:04:00,476 Do you own stock in Trivial Pursuit's Baby Boom Edition? 66 00:04:02,975 --> 00:04:05,692 Britta, please tell me you're not using this app. 67 00:04:05,853 --> 00:04:09,365 I liked the idea at first, giving a voice to the unheard... 68 00:04:09,523 --> 00:04:11,860 ...but then Annie told me that the rating system... 69 00:04:12,026 --> 00:04:13,497 ...is exponentially weighted. 70 00:04:13,652 --> 00:04:17,164 As your ratings go up, your ratings of other people become more important. 71 00:04:17,323 --> 00:04:19,292 - No. - It means the more others like you... 72 00:04:19,450 --> 00:04:21,751 ...the more likeable you make others. Makes sense. 73 00:04:21,911 --> 00:04:25,541 - You know who else it made sense to? - Say "Hitler" and I'm giving you a two. 74 00:04:25,706 --> 00:04:29,503 You not registered? The longer you wait, the harder to get your number up. 75 00:04:29,668 --> 00:04:33,263 Annie. Listen to yourself. You're learning its language. 76 00:04:33,422 --> 00:04:36,768 You're letting a video game play you. I gotta set these people straight. 77 00:04:36,926 --> 00:04:38,183 Hey, hey, you've got a... 78 00:04:39,970 --> 00:04:42,688 Students of Greendale! 79 00:04:42,848 --> 00:04:45,980 We don't have to worship a calculator! 80 00:04:46,143 --> 00:04:50,023 There is no formula for people! 81 00:04:53,150 --> 00:04:56,199 You're punishing me for being alive! 82 00:04:56,362 --> 00:04:58,082 That's the general idea, baby. 83 00:05:00,616 --> 00:05:03,879 You're gonna think I'm joking, but you were getting through more... 84 00:05:04,036 --> 00:05:05,792 - ...with mustard on your lip. - Shut up. 85 00:05:05,955 --> 00:05:08,126 He's not kidding. I thought I was imagining it. 86 00:05:08,290 --> 00:05:11,138 When you had mustard on your lip, I was open to your opinion. 87 00:05:11,293 --> 00:05:15,137 Maybe it dilutes or distracts from your excessive intensity. 88 00:05:15,297 --> 00:05:18,477 Maybe it dilutes or distracts from your stupid butt. 89 00:05:18,634 --> 00:05:20,390 - How you doing, Rog? - Oh, don't be... 90 00:05:20,553 --> 00:05:22,973 Hey, Charlotte. I see what you did there. 91 00:05:23,138 --> 00:05:25,108 Vicki, I love this. 92 00:05:26,600 --> 00:05:29,104 - Shirley's a five. - How? 93 00:05:29,270 --> 00:05:31,654 She's nice to people, Jeff. You know Shirley. 94 00:05:31,814 --> 00:05:33,321 Oh, Vicki, thank you. 95 00:05:33,482 --> 00:05:36,828 Did you just give me four MeowMeowBeenz? 96 00:05:37,403 --> 00:05:40,286 I love my four from Vicki. 97 00:05:41,866 --> 00:05:43,337 No. 98 00:05:43,492 --> 00:05:45,213 Stop it! 99 00:05:45,369 --> 00:05:47,421 I didn't mean it. 100 00:05:48,414 --> 00:05:51,131 Yeah. I do know Shirley. 101 00:05:55,212 --> 00:05:56,802 We should be having brownies. 102 00:05:57,381 --> 00:05:58,674 I'm going to help Shirley. 103 00:05:58,841 --> 00:06:01,142 Not a bad idea. She could make you a two again. 104 00:06:01,302 --> 00:06:03,307 Screw your twos, and screw MeowMeowBeenz. 105 00:06:03,470 --> 00:06:05,108 I know that's your one talking. 106 00:06:07,683 --> 00:06:10,103 - What are you doing? - Registering for MeowMeowBeenz. 107 00:06:10,269 --> 00:06:12,986 I'm gonna become a five and expose this for the sham it is. 108 00:06:13,147 --> 00:06:15,401 Oh, now you're speaking my language. 109 00:06:15,566 --> 00:06:17,820 That's unintentional, trust me. 110 00:06:18,402 --> 00:06:20,953 Make sure you know the reason you're doing something... 111 00:06:21,113 --> 00:06:22,869 ...or you'll fail before you start. 112 00:06:23,032 --> 00:06:26,793 - That's actually a good point. - It is? Why? 113 00:06:28,579 --> 00:06:30,382 Oh, come on. 114 00:06:34,710 --> 00:06:37,095 I'm like, "That's two cups," and she's like, "What?" 115 00:06:37,254 --> 00:06:41,051 I'm like, "Two cups, balls back, tops off." 116 00:06:41,217 --> 00:06:44,811 All right, Trent, Mulch, Dave... 117 00:06:44,970 --> 00:06:50,439 ...Herpie, Clutch, Dirt Mouth, Rope, Tingles, Cat Woman, Steve. 118 00:06:50,601 --> 00:06:51,894 All right, keep it floppy. 119 00:06:52,061 --> 00:06:53,900 Haul it, ball it, never call it. 120 00:06:54,063 --> 00:06:55,404 - Girls are objects. - Yeah! 121 00:07:02,988 --> 00:07:04,412 Two MeowMeowBeenz. 122 00:07:04,573 --> 00:07:05,700 Congratulations. 123 00:07:05,866 --> 00:07:08,584 Abed was just explaining that the fives get to choose... 124 00:07:08,744 --> 00:07:10,298 ...what setting the air conditioning is on. 125 00:07:10,454 --> 00:07:11,795 Yep. 126 00:07:12,498 --> 00:07:14,835 Is it me, or are more people wearing grey? 127 00:07:15,000 --> 00:07:17,586 I feel like someone's about to hand me a Starburst. 128 00:07:17,753 --> 00:07:20,304 Wear neutral colours. Looking like you wanna move up... 129 00:07:20,464 --> 00:07:22,386 - ...can get you moved down. - Abed, hey. 130 00:07:22,550 --> 00:07:24,720 - Hey, come here. - Hi. Come on. 131 00:07:24,885 --> 00:07:28,516 Those are other threes. We talk about how we're glad we're not twos. 132 00:07:29,598 --> 00:07:31,152 Small talk, guys. 133 00:07:31,308 --> 00:07:32,435 I make small talk now. 134 00:07:33,686 --> 00:07:36,450 Hello, Jeffrey. I see you decided to join MeowMeowBeenz. 135 00:07:36,605 --> 00:07:38,159 Oh, it's a great tool for living. 136 00:07:38,315 --> 00:07:40,202 - You look great. - You look great. 137 00:07:40,359 --> 00:07:42,613 - Know what you're doing. - Know what you're doing. 138 00:07:42,778 --> 00:07:44,285 I'm watching you, okay? 139 00:07:47,366 --> 00:07:49,870 Yeah, you'll be watching my hinder, Mama... 140 00:07:50,035 --> 00:07:53,915 ...and choking on its billowing plume of highly rated dust. 141 00:08:11,390 --> 00:08:12,778 Fours and above only. 142 00:08:12,933 --> 00:08:14,570 These are snacks for the fives. 143 00:08:15,144 --> 00:08:17,196 Yeah? You're a two. 144 00:08:17,354 --> 00:08:21,412 Leonard, would you rather a three serve the fives food? 145 00:08:21,567 --> 00:08:22,778 No. 146 00:08:24,778 --> 00:08:27,626 It is no secret that the threes and twos... 147 00:08:27,781 --> 00:08:30,166 ...are growing suspicious of the fours and fives. 148 00:08:30,326 --> 00:08:33,624 All I know is that it's my birthday. 149 00:08:33,787 --> 00:08:37,845 What if we give these people something to believe in again? 150 00:08:38,000 --> 00:08:39,127 - Koogler? - Hey. 151 00:08:39,293 --> 00:08:41,263 I know what you guys think of me, okay? 152 00:08:41,420 --> 00:08:44,303 "Hey, it's Koogler. You know, he's cool. 153 00:08:44,465 --> 00:08:46,802 He likes to get laid. He's not that old." 154 00:08:47,551 --> 00:08:51,348 I'm a five because I know what the twos and the threes need. What do we need? 155 00:08:52,515 --> 00:08:53,689 Entertainment. 156 00:08:53,849 --> 00:08:55,486 A talent show. 157 00:08:55,643 --> 00:08:58,442 An event where threes and twos can rise and fall. 158 00:08:58,604 --> 00:09:01,701 - Helps people believe in the system. - Give my spot to someone else. 159 00:09:01,857 --> 00:09:04,740 I don't wanna be a five. I was happy as a three. I'm miserable. 160 00:09:04,902 --> 00:09:07,785 Oh, dear Abed. So humble. 161 00:09:11,909 --> 00:09:13,879 You people are monsters. 162 00:09:14,036 --> 00:09:17,833 Well, if there's nothing else, then. Speak. 163 00:09:17,998 --> 00:09:19,209 Headline items. 164 00:09:19,375 --> 00:09:22,388 Twos broke into a supply closet and stole a box of peanut butter. 165 00:09:22,545 --> 00:09:25,095 The futurization of the campus decor is almost complete. 166 00:09:25,256 --> 00:09:28,388 And a few hours ago, Jeff Winger became a four. 167 00:09:28,551 --> 00:09:31,054 That's nice. 168 00:09:41,397 --> 00:09:42,738 You there, girl. 169 00:09:42,898 --> 00:09:44,405 How many MeowMeowBeenz? 170 00:09:45,818 --> 00:09:47,455 Two. 171 00:09:47,736 --> 00:09:50,417 - Two? Are you lost, Two? - Yes. 172 00:09:51,073 --> 00:09:52,794 Are you lost, Two? 173 00:09:52,950 --> 00:09:55,251 I'll escort her to the common area. 174 00:09:55,411 --> 00:09:59,088 - You're a four? I don't recognise you. - He's new Beenz. 175 00:10:00,082 --> 00:10:01,256 Bye-bye, new Beenz. 176 00:10:01,417 --> 00:10:05,178 Threes and twos must leave Building 1 after 7. 177 00:10:05,337 --> 00:10:08,267 Building 1 after 7 is fours only. 178 00:10:08,424 --> 00:10:10,595 - What are you doing? - How goes the revolution? 179 00:10:10,759 --> 00:10:12,052 I can't break a four. 180 00:10:12,219 --> 00:10:14,853 It's impossible to get any higher without half the fives. 181 00:10:15,014 --> 00:10:17,268 - They got this thing locked up. - They're nervous. 182 00:10:17,433 --> 00:10:20,232 They're hosting a talent show to prove anyone can be a five. 183 00:10:20,394 --> 00:10:23,242 If you enter, you'll be centre stage with all eyes on you... 184 00:10:23,397 --> 00:10:26,494 ...and you can tell everyone this isn't democracy. 185 00:10:26,650 --> 00:10:27,778 This is tyranny. 186 00:10:28,777 --> 00:10:30,070 Can you put some mustard...? 187 00:10:30,237 --> 00:10:33,831 I shouldn't have to put mustard on my face for this to make sense. 188 00:10:33,991 --> 00:10:35,961 You know we have to take this system down. 189 00:10:43,375 --> 00:10:46,305 You know, I once loved a two. 190 00:10:48,797 --> 00:10:50,435 Matthew. 191 00:10:50,633 --> 00:10:52,852 He was my everything. 192 00:10:53,761 --> 00:10:56,975 But numbers change. 193 00:11:00,809 --> 00:11:03,443 I'll keep your secret, new Beenz. 194 00:11:11,695 --> 00:11:12,823 It says you're next. 195 00:11:12,988 --> 00:11:15,159 Now, Jeffrey, I beg you not to take this risk. 196 00:11:15,324 --> 00:11:16,416 You know what they say. 197 00:11:16,575 --> 00:11:20,169 Fives have lives, fours have chores, threes have fleas, twos have blues... 198 00:11:20,329 --> 00:11:22,915 ...and ones don't get a rhyme because they're garbage. 199 00:11:23,082 --> 00:11:24,802 Craig, I got this. 200 00:11:34,969 --> 00:11:37,021 No. No, please. 201 00:11:37,179 --> 00:11:39,683 Not The Outlands! Please! 202 00:11:39,849 --> 00:11:41,355 Boo on you! 203 00:11:41,517 --> 00:11:43,736 The fives have spoken. 204 00:11:43,894 --> 00:11:46,030 And you... 205 00:11:47,565 --> 00:11:49,985 ...are not very good and... 206 00:11:53,445 --> 00:11:55,285 What? No! Please! 207 00:11:55,447 --> 00:11:59,374 I'm just not very good at public speaking and... 208 00:12:00,703 --> 00:12:02,044 Last chance, Jeffrey. 209 00:12:02,204 --> 00:12:03,925 Showtime. 210 00:12:14,216 --> 00:12:15,390 My name is Jeff Winger. 211 00:12:16,010 --> 00:12:17,730 I recently became a four. 212 00:12:17,887 --> 00:12:22,276 Funny thing is, when I was a two... 213 00:12:22,725 --> 00:12:24,896 ...I didn't actually have any less. 214 00:12:27,354 --> 00:12:30,487 But I did have a lot of crazy friends. 215 00:12:30,649 --> 00:12:35,573 Hey, my name's Tommy Talouca. I'm from hallway C. I'm a two. 216 00:12:35,738 --> 00:12:40,080 I gotta get to the cafeteria before they run out of apples. 217 00:12:41,327 --> 00:12:44,044 What is with twos and apples? 218 00:12:44,205 --> 00:12:46,755 You're given three kinds of fruit. Mix it up. 219 00:12:48,751 --> 00:12:50,922 Then you become a four. 220 00:12:51,086 --> 00:12:54,016 And you get that... That four walk. 221 00:12:54,173 --> 00:12:56,937 You know what I'm talking about? It's like one of these. 222 00:12:58,552 --> 00:13:00,937 And they got a little trail of twos behind them... 223 00:13:01,096 --> 00:13:03,861 ...and they're like, "Hey, is there an apple up there?" 224 00:13:08,812 --> 00:13:10,900 What else is going on? 225 00:13:11,065 --> 00:13:12,821 He's killing it. 226 00:13:13,025 --> 00:13:17,782 There came a time when I has to ask myself... 227 00:13:17,947 --> 00:13:20,415 ...did I even wanna be a three? 228 00:13:21,200 --> 00:13:25,210 Or did I just hate myself for being a two? 229 00:13:25,913 --> 00:13:26,957 I don't know. 230 00:13:28,290 --> 00:13:30,461 All I know is... 231 00:13:30,960 --> 00:13:33,759 ...I sure do love them apples! 232 00:13:51,981 --> 00:13:55,694 Oh, the Koog approogs. That's a five. 233 00:14:00,030 --> 00:14:02,166 Yeah! 234 00:14:04,326 --> 00:14:07,838 Review, review! Meow, meow, meow! 235 00:14:07,997 --> 00:14:11,425 Review, review! Meow, meow, meow! 236 00:14:11,584 --> 00:14:13,470 Down here, guys. 237 00:14:13,836 --> 00:14:15,675 - Yeah, yeah. - Can I get a picture? 238 00:14:15,838 --> 00:14:18,009 I want my future kids to know this happened. 239 00:14:18,174 --> 00:14:20,309 I admire your optimism, Garrett. 240 00:14:22,678 --> 00:14:24,517 - What the hell? - I don't wanna hear it. 241 00:14:24,680 --> 00:14:26,401 I got this far to take Shirley down. 242 00:14:26,557 --> 00:14:30,816 - What about everyone else? - Look around you. Everyone wanted this. 243 00:14:31,353 --> 00:14:32,777 Fives only, ma'am. 244 00:14:32,938 --> 00:14:34,694 Oh, great. Come on. 245 00:14:34,857 --> 00:14:37,538 You... You think this system's gonna last forever? 246 00:14:37,693 --> 00:14:39,200 I'm gonna free people's minds. 247 00:14:39,361 --> 00:14:41,663 I'm a psych major. Words are my weapons. 248 00:14:41,822 --> 00:14:44,373 I'm a security guard. Weapons are my weapons. 249 00:14:53,667 --> 00:14:58,887 Welcome, fives, to the inaugural fancy future dance. 250 00:15:09,141 --> 00:15:12,071 I'm glad you don't think making Jeff a five was a mistake. 251 00:15:12,228 --> 00:15:13,818 I believe in taking risks. 252 00:15:13,979 --> 00:15:15,569 Yeah. Jeff's really cool. 253 00:15:17,149 --> 00:15:18,407 Couldn't help but notice... 254 00:15:18,567 --> 00:15:21,830 ...that Shirley didn't clap with the rest of you after my performance. 255 00:15:21,987 --> 00:15:23,827 Is she always so different? 256 00:15:23,989 --> 00:15:25,745 I can't concentrate on the dance moves. 257 00:15:25,908 --> 00:15:30,084 You don't believe the rumours, do you, that Jeff manipulated his way to the top? 258 00:15:30,246 --> 00:15:32,215 Shirley, I can hear what you're saying. 259 00:15:32,373 --> 00:15:35,587 You're trying to manipulate someone into thinking I'm manipulative. 260 00:15:35,751 --> 00:15:37,507 I have no idea what you're talking about. 261 00:15:37,670 --> 00:15:40,350 No one knows what you're talking about. 262 00:15:40,506 --> 00:15:44,100 Do you wanna have this conversation, or just keep flexing your veiny arms... 263 00:15:44,260 --> 00:15:46,099 ...and throwing out apples? 264 00:15:46,637 --> 00:15:49,057 Tranquillity is advancement. 265 00:15:49,223 --> 00:15:51,358 A happy three is a future four. 266 00:15:51,517 --> 00:15:56,026 Twos and Threes, you're accepting a life you don't have to live. 267 00:15:57,815 --> 00:16:00,698 Stand up for yourselves! 268 00:16:00,860 --> 00:16:02,615 Really? 269 00:16:04,405 --> 00:16:07,952 - Fine. Give me that. - Hey. 270 00:16:11,203 --> 00:16:13,006 You're all alive. 271 00:16:13,164 --> 00:16:16,260 You are all alive. 272 00:16:16,417 --> 00:16:21,138 Look at the mustard on my face, but listen to my words. 273 00:16:21,297 --> 00:16:23,302 - You're one of the angriest... - You're angry. 274 00:16:23,465 --> 00:16:25,019 The rules got changed on you. 275 00:16:25,176 --> 00:16:27,394 You can't just be cool and be in charge now. 276 00:16:27,553 --> 00:16:30,768 No, you have to gossip and give out food and make people feel guilty. 277 00:16:30,931 --> 00:16:34,111 Okay, yeah. I bust my ass making a world full of selfish idiots... 278 00:16:34,268 --> 00:16:35,312 ...remember my name. 279 00:16:35,477 --> 00:16:38,824 Call it hard work, but don't tell me the system measures who's nice. 280 00:16:38,981 --> 00:16:40,784 Actually, it kind of does. 281 00:16:45,488 --> 00:16:49,498 Security, banish them to The Outlands with the rest of the ones. 282 00:16:49,658 --> 00:16:52,672 - No! No! No! - Okay, okay, okay. 283 00:16:53,204 --> 00:16:58,673 Ladies and gentlemen, please put your tray tables in their party positions. 284 00:16:58,834 --> 00:17:00,341 So sayeth Captain Koogler. 285 00:17:01,128 --> 00:17:04,177 Actually, keep the tray tables where they are, Koogler. 286 00:17:04,340 --> 00:17:06,511 The rule of the fives is over. 287 00:17:06,675 --> 00:17:09,475 Long live the review-lution! 288 00:17:09,637 --> 00:17:10,811 No! 289 00:17:10,971 --> 00:17:12,182 That comes down? 290 00:17:12,348 --> 00:17:15,729 - Okay, all right, all right, all right. - All right. 291 00:17:25,027 --> 00:17:27,661 - Happy? - Are you happy? 292 00:17:27,822 --> 00:17:29,874 I knew you couldn't go to that stupid dinner. 293 00:17:30,032 --> 00:17:32,832 - That's why I didn't invite you. - It's nice to be invited. 294 00:17:32,993 --> 00:17:34,666 Sure, if you're a control freak. 295 00:17:34,829 --> 00:17:36,549 Oh, and you clearly hate control. 296 00:17:36,705 --> 00:17:39,671 No. I love it. 297 00:17:41,710 --> 00:17:45,851 I guess it's easy to pretend that you don't when you got it. 298 00:17:46,924 --> 00:17:48,347 You'd think we'd be better friends... 299 00:17:48,509 --> 00:17:51,357 ...because we're big fans of the same thing. 300 00:17:52,388 --> 00:17:54,227 You there. Ones. 301 00:17:54,390 --> 00:18:00,523 You are permitted back indoors by decree of Britta, the Mother of Ones. 302 00:18:01,897 --> 00:18:04,401 And do I hear correctly that as a five... 303 00:18:04,567 --> 00:18:07,829 ...you felt you could park in handicap spots? 304 00:18:07,987 --> 00:18:10,834 Well, you see, that's just part of the Koogler style. 305 00:18:10,990 --> 00:18:12,959 It's human-crap style. 306 00:18:13,117 --> 00:18:15,288 Rate him. 307 00:18:17,037 --> 00:18:19,089 Okay, well, that's low. 308 00:18:21,250 --> 00:18:26,849 All fives must be cleansed of their five filth and reduced to oneness. 309 00:18:28,215 --> 00:18:31,976 Jeff. Hey, Shirley. I'm not a five anymore. I'm a one like everyone else. 310 00:18:32,136 --> 00:18:33,773 I'm like everyone else. 311 00:18:33,929 --> 00:18:35,021 Who's next? 312 00:18:35,181 --> 00:18:37,945 All right, time to pull the plug. 313 00:18:38,267 --> 00:18:39,690 Oh, great Mother of Ones... 314 00:18:40,352 --> 00:18:42,025 ...mustard-faced saviour... 315 00:18:42,188 --> 00:18:45,865 ...there is still a five hiding among us that has not been cleansed. 316 00:18:46,025 --> 00:18:49,453 Nonsense. All fives were reduced to oneness... 317 00:18:49,612 --> 00:18:52,115 ...in the great purge of about two minutes ago. 318 00:18:52,281 --> 00:18:53,953 This five cheats. 319 00:18:54,116 --> 00:18:59,289 It never registered, yet was given a five from outside the system. 320 00:19:01,248 --> 00:19:02,802 Behold. 321 00:19:02,958 --> 00:19:04,465 The MeowMeowBeenz app. 322 00:19:05,294 --> 00:19:07,133 Its beta test ended days ago. 323 00:19:07,296 --> 00:19:11,519 It's now available in the app store, 99 cents. 324 00:19:11,675 --> 00:19:13,431 Five stars. 325 00:19:14,053 --> 00:19:16,105 This five lied to us... 326 00:19:16,263 --> 00:19:18,814 ...used us, judged us... 327 00:19:18,974 --> 00:19:21,655 ...yet exempts itself from judgment. 328 00:19:24,146 --> 00:19:28,406 It's selling our information to spammers because I am getting a lot more e-mail... 329 00:19:28,567 --> 00:19:32,494 ...and trust me, my penis needs no enlargement. 330 00:19:32,655 --> 00:19:36,451 So how do you cleanse a five that's unregistered? 331 00:19:36,617 --> 00:19:38,254 Delete it. 332 00:19:47,628 --> 00:19:49,929 By the way, guys, it's a Saturday. 333 00:19:50,089 --> 00:19:52,888 You're all in school for nothing. Go home and get some sleep. 334 00:19:53,050 --> 00:19:54,936 - No. - No. 335 00:19:55,511 --> 00:19:58,014 No! No. Wait. 336 00:19:58,180 --> 00:20:00,020 No, don't go! Where are you going? 337 00:20:03,352 --> 00:20:05,155 No. 338 00:20:05,938 --> 00:20:07,361 Attention, Greendale. 339 00:20:07,523 --> 00:20:11,829 I'd like to propose we forget everything that happened over the last few days. 340 00:20:11,986 --> 00:20:15,533 I don't anticipate a lot of pushback on that. I think we're all embarrassed. 341 00:20:15,698 --> 00:20:17,418 - Hey there. - Oh, hey. 342 00:20:17,575 --> 00:20:20,623 So I was thinking about checking out this new restaurant tonight. 343 00:20:20,786 --> 00:20:22,542 Oh, that's sweet, but I can't tonight. 344 00:20:22,705 --> 00:20:26,667 Not even takeout? We could eat in the study room. 345 00:20:26,834 --> 00:20:31,259 Oh, I think I have time for that, Jeffrey. 346 00:20:32,089 --> 00:20:33,263 What? 347 00:20:33,424 --> 00:20:35,476 I'm not gonna take it off. 348 00:20:35,634 --> 00:20:39,692 I still got two days left on the rental. 349 00:20:43,475 --> 00:20:45,777 Every once in a while, a film comes along... 350 00:20:45,936 --> 00:20:49,567 ...that takes a serious look at higher education. 351 00:20:49,732 --> 00:20:51,285 This is not one of them. 352 00:20:51,442 --> 00:20:53,079 Gentlemen... 353 00:20:53,360 --> 00:20:54,618 ...assume the party. 354 00:20:54,778 --> 00:20:57,578 This summer, fun has a new name. 355 00:20:57,740 --> 00:20:58,914 - Koogler? - Koogler! 356 00:20:59,074 --> 00:21:00,166 - Koogler. - Koogler! 357 00:21:00,326 --> 00:21:02,580 - Koogler. - Koogler! Koogler! 358 00:21:04,079 --> 00:21:06,250 Hope you don't mind if I play through. 359 00:21:06,415 --> 00:21:09,594 Hammer Road Pictures invites you to meet the man, the myth... 360 00:21:09,752 --> 00:21:11,424 I'm photocopying my rear end. 361 00:21:11,587 --> 00:21:13,758 - ...the Koogler. - Koogler. 362 00:21:13,923 --> 00:21:18,099 I guess I have what you might call an aversion to education. 363 00:21:19,553 --> 00:21:21,274 Do you even have a career plan? 364 00:21:21,430 --> 00:21:24,527 - Yeah, does getting laid count? - No! 365 00:21:24,683 --> 00:21:28,444 Mitchell D. Hurwitz is Koogler, Rated R.