1 00:00:02,796 --> 00:00:05,560 This is Russell Borchert, computer genius... 2 00:00:05,716 --> 00:00:07,803 ...anti-deodorant activist, and millionaire. 3 00:00:07,968 --> 00:00:11,231 He was rich for having invented the nine-track cassette... 4 00:00:11,388 --> 00:00:14,651 ...which the eight-track industry paid to keep quiet. 5 00:00:14,808 --> 00:00:18,023 He funnelled that wealth into a computer school called Greendale... 6 00:00:18,187 --> 00:00:20,488 ...where he obsessively pursued a new project... 7 00:00:20,647 --> 00:00:23,495 ...a machine that can process feelings. 8 00:00:24,485 --> 00:00:27,831 He apparently used nothing but gold to assemble his circuitry... 9 00:00:27,988 --> 00:00:30,788 ...believing it to be a better conductor of human emotion. 10 00:00:30,949 --> 00:00:33,500 It was a weird time. The Bionic Woman won an Emmy. 11 00:00:33,660 --> 00:00:36,840 Rumours spread about his relationship with computers... 12 00:00:36,997 --> 00:00:39,002 ...and one day, he disappeared. 13 00:00:39,166 --> 00:00:41,966 Hence the legend that he died of the first computer virus. 14 00:00:42,127 --> 00:00:44,298 The city bought the campus, and life went on. 15 00:00:44,463 --> 00:00:47,844 His body was never found, nor was his immense wealth. 16 00:00:48,008 --> 00:00:52,101 Some people said he hid his money using a portal to another dimension. 17 00:00:52,262 --> 00:00:53,816 Those people were on LSD. 18 00:00:53,972 --> 00:00:57,187 Everyone else said he had a secret vault in his office. 19 00:00:57,684 --> 00:00:59,524 Well, where is his office? 20 00:00:59,686 --> 00:01:00,778 Good question. 21 00:01:00,938 --> 00:01:04,651 We found this confession written by Greendale's first dean. 22 00:01:04,817 --> 00:01:07,865 "To protect the student health and the school's reputation... 23 00:01:08,028 --> 00:01:10,792 ...I have sealed off the Computer Department... 24 00:01:10,948 --> 00:01:13,167 ...and removed the stairwell to that section." 25 00:01:13,325 --> 00:01:16,255 Section that remains on this campus, its secrets untouched... 26 00:01:16,411 --> 00:01:18,084 ...including possibly Borchert's millions. 27 00:01:18,247 --> 00:01:21,758 If we found it we could buy it from the city before Subway. 28 00:01:21,917 --> 00:01:24,052 Then I could really go nuts with this place. 29 00:01:24,211 --> 00:01:26,263 This adventure I usually have to force upon us. 30 00:01:26,421 --> 00:01:28,925 It is falling into our laps. We're like the Goonies. 31 00:01:29,091 --> 00:01:32,852 - Except our story tracks logically. - And we're not talking over each other. 32 00:01:33,011 --> 00:01:35,645 - Everyone talks at the same time. Sorry. - Can you stop? 33 00:01:35,806 --> 00:01:37,893 Here are your blueprints. Sorry it took long. 34 00:01:38,058 --> 00:01:42,318 - You can't fight city hall. - You can. That's why it took so long. 35 00:01:43,313 --> 00:01:46,196 - I'll be damned. Will you look at that? - It's so clear now. 36 00:01:46,358 --> 00:01:48,577 The entire school is shaped like a penis. 37 00:01:48,735 --> 00:01:52,532 No, that. It says right here that this stairway leads to sublevel three. 38 00:01:52,698 --> 00:01:54,584 Is that where the teachers' lounge is? 39 00:01:55,200 --> 00:01:57,087 What the hell does your penis look like? 40 00:01:57,244 --> 00:02:00,423 Obviously a cluster of buildings. Let's have a laugh at the freak. 41 00:02:28,150 --> 00:02:30,653 Missing stairwell would be in this area. Eyes peeled. 42 00:02:30,819 --> 00:02:34,283 Serial killers and people that hide treasure leave weird little clues. 43 00:02:34,448 --> 00:02:37,461 Check it out. Look at the bottle held by the school's first... 44 00:02:37,618 --> 00:02:40,252 ...and least acceptable mascot, Big Chief Drunky. 45 00:02:40,412 --> 00:02:42,464 X marks the spot, baby. 46 00:02:42,623 --> 00:02:45,257 Hey, Hickey, maybe you shouldn't be... 47 00:02:45,417 --> 00:02:47,090 Okay. 48 00:02:48,754 --> 00:02:50,973 - Shirley, will you lock the door? - Okay. 49 00:03:01,433 --> 00:03:02,904 There you go. 50 00:03:04,311 --> 00:03:05,984 It's just a bunch of wires. 51 00:03:06,146 --> 00:03:08,234 Exactly what they want us to think. 52 00:03:11,068 --> 00:03:12,325 Oh, my God. 53 00:03:13,237 --> 00:03:14,494 Wait, wait, wait! 54 00:03:14,655 --> 00:03:16,826 The sparks may be spelling out the next clue. 55 00:03:19,326 --> 00:03:20,963 Jeff, do something. 56 00:03:27,042 --> 00:03:28,086 Is Duncan okay? 57 00:03:28,252 --> 00:03:32,344 He'll live, but his food's gonna taste like burnt aluminium for a while. 58 00:03:32,506 --> 00:03:33,977 It's pronounced "aluminium." 59 00:03:34,133 --> 00:03:35,307 See, he's fine. 60 00:03:35,467 --> 00:03:37,353 Okay, guys, stop it. Now. 61 00:03:37,511 --> 00:03:41,189 Nobody wants to admit it's over, but come on. 62 00:03:41,348 --> 00:03:43,567 Oh, look, it's Jeff Winger, fun police... 63 00:03:43,809 --> 00:03:45,481 ...here to pull over our smiles... 64 00:03:45,644 --> 00:03:47,649 ...because our mouths have tinted windows. 65 00:03:47,813 --> 00:03:49,783 - Britta and I are getting married. - What? 66 00:03:49,940 --> 00:03:52,870 Married? Well, you're gonna need way more doves than this. 67 00:03:53,026 --> 00:03:56,040 What does this look like, an hour-long episode of The Office? 68 00:03:56,196 --> 00:03:58,996 There's pick-axing and electric zapping. 69 00:03:59,158 --> 00:04:02,337 Don't even acknowledge it. We are not acknowledging this. 70 00:04:02,494 --> 00:04:04,582 You guys are ridiculous together. 71 00:04:04,746 --> 00:04:06,633 We're ridiculous? What do you call this? 72 00:04:06,790 --> 00:04:07,834 Secret trapdoor! 73 00:04:15,716 --> 00:04:19,726 - Who's got rope? - I'm offended by that question. 74 00:04:23,015 --> 00:04:26,229 Richie and Carl from the school board. That's right. We got names. 75 00:04:26,393 --> 00:04:27,734 Open this door now. 76 00:04:27,895 --> 00:04:30,279 - Wait, I know where the keys are. - You hear that? 77 00:04:30,439 --> 00:04:33,867 When we get in there, you're gonna be in big trouble. 78 00:04:34,026 --> 00:04:36,362 Here they are. Here they are. 79 00:04:36,528 --> 00:04:39,246 - Which one is it? - Well, it's never the first one... 80 00:04:39,406 --> 00:04:42,087 - ...so we can cancel this one out. - Come on. 81 00:04:42,242 --> 00:04:45,457 I guess now this is the first one, so it should be the next one. 82 00:04:45,621 --> 00:04:48,338 - Oh, damn. - You know what? I got it. 83 00:04:48,707 --> 00:04:50,677 - Get out of the way. - Richie, be careful. 84 00:04:50,834 --> 00:04:53,515 Don't worry. I've been drinking. 85 00:04:56,590 --> 00:04:58,595 Oh, hello. Would you like some tea? 86 00:04:59,092 --> 00:05:00,433 The tea is swell. 87 00:05:08,060 --> 00:05:09,899 Do you think they can hea...? 88 00:05:10,646 --> 00:05:11,939 I think that... 89 00:05:12,105 --> 00:05:13,826 Oh, come on. 90 00:05:15,526 --> 00:05:17,447 You know it's just as loud as... 91 00:05:21,073 --> 00:05:23,292 Everybody, shut up! 92 00:05:25,953 --> 00:05:28,883 Guys, I think this is the lost section of Greendale. 93 00:05:29,373 --> 00:05:31,259 Nobody's been in here since the '70s. 94 00:05:31,416 --> 00:05:33,504 - How do you know? - The debate team topic is: 95 00:05:33,669 --> 00:05:35,970 "Who's hotter, Elliott Gould or Donald Sutherland?" 96 00:05:36,130 --> 00:05:38,300 - Donald Sutherland. - Donald Sutherland. 97 00:05:42,928 --> 00:05:44,933 - Scary. - Oh, relax. 98 00:05:45,097 --> 00:05:47,814 If it's like a regular dungeon, it's only as dangerous... 99 00:05:47,975 --> 00:05:49,232 ...as whoever invited you. 100 00:05:49,393 --> 00:05:52,987 Abed, if there's killer robots down here, you'll tell them we're on your side. 101 00:05:53,147 --> 00:05:55,827 Won't know them from ordinary robots until they kill us. 102 00:05:55,983 --> 00:05:57,952 Well, what do we do now? 103 00:05:58,110 --> 00:06:00,329 Split up. Leave no '70s reference unturned. 104 00:06:00,487 --> 00:06:05,126 This decade's out of my wheelhouse. Pet Rock, leave no Pet Rock unturned. 105 00:06:05,284 --> 00:06:06,790 Let me lead. My light's better. 106 00:06:06,952 --> 00:06:09,538 You're that insecure that your light has to be better? 107 00:06:09,705 --> 00:06:11,591 - Shut up. - You shut up. 108 00:06:11,748 --> 00:06:12,959 Anything in there? 109 00:06:13,125 --> 00:06:16,637 It's just spider webs and beanbag chairs. 110 00:06:16,795 --> 00:06:19,299 Don't cry. The importance of lumbar support hadn't... 111 00:06:19,465 --> 00:06:20,852 It's not that. It's just... 112 00:06:21,008 --> 00:06:24,685 Even if we do save Greendale, which Greendale will we be saving? 113 00:06:24,845 --> 00:06:27,348 I mean, first Pierce dies, then Troy leaves. 114 00:06:27,514 --> 00:06:29,685 - Now people are... - Getting married? 115 00:06:30,517 --> 00:06:32,605 Annie, look, I don't know people. 116 00:06:32,769 --> 00:06:36,068 But I know TV. When characters feel the show they're on is ending... 117 00:06:36,231 --> 00:06:38,319 ...their instinct is to spin off into something safer. 118 00:06:38,484 --> 00:06:39,824 In Jeff and Britta's case... 119 00:06:39,985 --> 00:06:42,666 ...something that'd last six episodes, have bickering... 120 00:06:42,821 --> 00:06:45,122 ...starring them and an equally WASP-y couple... 121 00:06:45,282 --> 00:06:48,461 ...with a title like "Better With My Worse Half" or "Tying the Not." 122 00:06:48,619 --> 00:06:51,299 "Knot" is spelled without a K. Or #CouplePeopleProblems. 123 00:06:51,455 --> 00:06:54,219 - Every episode, you decide who has... - Stop developing. 124 00:06:54,374 --> 00:06:55,585 Sorry. 125 00:06:56,293 --> 00:07:01,845 The point is, this show, Annie, it isn't just their show. 126 00:07:02,007 --> 00:07:06,397 This is our show, and it's not over. And the sooner we find that treasure... 127 00:07:06,553 --> 00:07:08,855 ...the faster the Jeff-Britta pilot falls apart. 128 00:07:09,014 --> 00:07:10,272 Got it. 129 00:07:10,599 --> 00:07:11,726 Thank you, Abed. 130 00:07:11,892 --> 00:07:13,731 You're welcome. 131 00:07:15,395 --> 00:07:17,198 - I have a girlfriend. - What? 132 00:07:17,356 --> 00:07:20,239 - You were about to start a kiss lean. - I was not. 133 00:07:20,400 --> 00:07:21,741 Fine. Let's find treasure. 134 00:07:25,197 --> 00:07:26,585 - Did you find anything? - No. 135 00:07:26,740 --> 00:07:28,911 We've searched every crevice of this place... 136 00:07:29,076 --> 00:07:31,875 ...and the only treasures we've found are this CB radio... 137 00:07:32,037 --> 00:07:34,623 ...these basketball cards with white people on them... 138 00:07:34,790 --> 00:07:37,803 ...and this little rocket launcher from some action figure. 139 00:07:39,419 --> 00:07:42,267 It seems like an odd place for a dead end though. 140 00:07:42,422 --> 00:07:43,680 It could be a secret door. 141 00:07:43,841 --> 00:07:45,928 Maybe the jukebox is the key to it. 142 00:07:46,093 --> 00:07:48,810 Just remember, it's okay if we fail. 143 00:07:48,971 --> 00:07:50,394 - Right, Jeff? - That's right. 144 00:07:52,891 --> 00:07:55,774 Try every button. Just try every single button ever. 145 00:07:58,897 --> 00:08:02,445 - Are you all right? - No! I was dying! 146 00:08:03,694 --> 00:08:04,951 Try track 127. 147 00:08:05,112 --> 00:08:09,204 Right. Because 127 in binary code would be a palindrome. 148 00:08:09,366 --> 00:08:12,629 Because the song title is "Open the Door" by the Secret Doors. 149 00:08:34,475 --> 00:08:36,978 Borchert's secret lab. 150 00:08:37,144 --> 00:08:39,991 That's the machine Borchert was working on in the film. 151 00:08:44,443 --> 00:08:46,993 Borchert's gold. 152 00:08:48,113 --> 00:08:49,750 We need to get this upstairs. 153 00:08:49,907 --> 00:08:51,081 Save Greendale. 154 00:08:56,455 --> 00:08:58,425 It's okay, it's okay, it's okay. 155 00:09:00,292 --> 00:09:02,048 You're Russell Borchert, aren't you? 156 00:09:03,170 --> 00:09:06,183 Okay, I'm gonna peel off some Band-Aids here. 157 00:09:06,340 --> 00:09:07,514 Dennis Hopper is dead. 158 00:09:08,425 --> 00:09:11,011 TV shows give no time for theme songs anymore. 159 00:09:11,178 --> 00:09:14,809 And Woody Allen did the voice of a cartoon ant. 160 00:09:20,270 --> 00:09:21,528 Jeff! 161 00:09:21,688 --> 00:09:25,532 Sorry, I lose track of how big I'm getting. 162 00:09:25,692 --> 00:09:26,866 I don't. 163 00:09:28,529 --> 00:09:32,040 You vandalize private property, you nearly destroy the school... 164 00:09:32,199 --> 00:09:34,334 ...when it's finally about to make a profit? 165 00:09:34,493 --> 00:09:35,703 You guys are the worst... 166 00:09:35,869 --> 00:09:38,550 ...with your stupid paintballs and your freeze tags. 167 00:09:38,705 --> 00:09:42,004 - Hot Lava. - That was Hot Lava? Dumb. 168 00:09:43,460 --> 00:09:45,382 Tell us where the others went. 169 00:09:47,381 --> 00:09:49,018 Guys, guys. 170 00:09:50,050 --> 00:09:51,094 What do you wanna do? 171 00:09:51,260 --> 00:09:52,387 What should we do? 172 00:09:52,553 --> 00:09:54,309 Well, what can we do? 173 00:09:55,848 --> 00:09:57,568 Okay. 174 00:09:57,808 --> 00:10:00,358 I'm gonna need you guys to stay back... 175 00:10:00,602 --> 00:10:03,236 ...and never tell anyone about what you saw here today. 176 00:10:19,329 --> 00:10:21,915 You're special, Richie. Your mind is special. 177 00:10:22,082 --> 00:10:24,586 You know it works differently from other kids' minds. 178 00:10:24,751 --> 00:10:28,050 Richie's a freak, Richie's a freak. 179 00:10:35,304 --> 00:10:36,347 Thank you. 180 00:10:36,889 --> 00:10:38,016 I know where they went. 181 00:10:38,557 --> 00:10:41,440 They climbed out to the roof, hopped on a hang glider... 182 00:10:41,602 --> 00:10:45,196 ...and flew it across town to that Greek restaurant. Papa Cristo's? 183 00:10:45,981 --> 00:10:47,737 I robbed your brain. 184 00:10:47,900 --> 00:10:49,287 I robbed it. 185 00:10:49,443 --> 00:10:52,622 Hey, we found a hatch in the floor underneath the vending machine. 186 00:10:52,779 --> 00:10:55,710 - I think they went down inside it. - Was there a hang glider? 187 00:10:58,285 --> 00:11:00,456 You're gonna find a hang glider down there. 188 00:11:00,621 --> 00:11:01,914 That much I know. 189 00:11:02,080 --> 00:11:05,628 So anyway, I sealed myself up down here with 50 years of food... 190 00:11:05,793 --> 00:11:08,676 ...50 years of toilet paper, and 50 years of cocaine... 191 00:11:08,837 --> 00:11:11,423 ...which I somehow ran out of after about 10 years. 192 00:11:12,090 --> 00:11:13,644 The '80s happened down here too. 193 00:11:13,801 --> 00:11:16,137 Yeah. Hey. What are you doing with Raquel? 194 00:11:16,303 --> 00:11:18,640 Raquel. 195 00:11:18,806 --> 00:11:21,819 We're on a deadline, and to put it bluntly, we need your gold. 196 00:11:21,975 --> 00:11:23,233 Raquel! 197 00:11:23,393 --> 00:11:27,237 - Guys, a little help. Scary fingernails? - I'm almost done. She needs more time. 198 00:11:27,397 --> 00:11:29,367 Sir, Raquel has taken the best years of your life... 199 00:11:29,525 --> 00:11:31,197 ...and a dozen of your not-so-good. 200 00:11:31,360 --> 00:11:34,658 If she hasn't given anything back, it might be time to move on. 201 00:11:36,782 --> 00:11:39,119 Stop! You guys... 202 00:11:39,618 --> 00:11:40,662 ...what are we doing? 203 00:11:40,828 --> 00:11:42,667 - Saving Greendale. - From what? 204 00:11:42,830 --> 00:11:46,922 We were driven down here by sellouts with crappy values. 205 00:11:47,084 --> 00:11:51,260 Since when do human beings decide which dreams are worthwhile? 206 00:11:51,421 --> 00:11:52,465 Look at him. 207 00:11:53,173 --> 00:11:54,763 He's one of us. 208 00:11:54,925 --> 00:11:58,603 We have to respect each other enough... 209 00:11:59,513 --> 00:12:02,147 ...to let each other want what we want... 210 00:12:02,933 --> 00:12:07,026 ...no matter how transparently self-destructive... 211 00:12:07,187 --> 00:12:11,494 ...or empty our desires may be. 212 00:12:12,818 --> 00:12:15,701 If it was money that you guys wanted, why didn't you say so? 213 00:12:15,863 --> 00:12:19,161 You can just have my leftover cash that's under the desk over there. 214 00:12:19,324 --> 00:12:22,373 I don't think it's worth much. Those are Gerald Ford dollars. 215 00:12:22,828 --> 00:12:24,999 - How many? - Couple of million. 216 00:12:25,164 --> 00:12:27,548 Back in the '70s, that was worth millions. 217 00:12:27,708 --> 00:12:28,799 Hey, I've got an idea. 218 00:12:28,959 --> 00:12:32,802 How about you people leave me alone and I hereby grant that to Greendale? 219 00:12:34,882 --> 00:12:36,554 - What? - Oh, my God! 220 00:12:36,717 --> 00:12:38,638 - Glad to hear it. - What? 221 00:12:41,763 --> 00:12:43,733 Get back. This pickle's a magnet. 222 00:12:44,558 --> 00:12:47,322 - I'll wipe her out, man. - Don't you dare use that on her! 223 00:12:47,478 --> 00:12:50,325 - See what magnets do to computers? - No, don't do it! 224 00:12:50,481 --> 00:12:52,320 Get over there with them. 225 00:12:52,483 --> 00:12:54,322 You have no legal claim to that money. 226 00:12:54,485 --> 00:12:58,411 Take it up with Subway in about an hour, after close of escrow. 227 00:12:58,572 --> 00:13:00,411 Chang, you've become a bad guy again? 228 00:13:00,574 --> 00:13:03,706 There's a lot more to it than that, Britta. 229 00:13:05,370 --> 00:13:07,755 Wait, I'm not wearing a mask? 230 00:13:07,915 --> 00:13:10,418 There's no more to it. I think I'm just mentally ill. 231 00:13:10,584 --> 00:13:12,885 All right, just stay back. All right? 232 00:13:14,546 --> 00:13:15,887 No, don't. 233 00:13:18,258 --> 00:13:20,061 No! 234 00:13:21,094 --> 00:13:23,147 Oh, God, no. 235 00:13:26,308 --> 00:13:27,566 - Hey, stop! - Hang in there. 236 00:13:27,726 --> 00:13:30,941 - Open it! - Raquel is the main operating system. 237 00:13:31,104 --> 00:13:35,411 She controls the door, the lights, the shower probably, everything. 238 00:13:35,567 --> 00:13:38,830 And now she's dead. 239 00:13:40,113 --> 00:13:42,699 So we're trapped in here forever. 240 00:13:43,116 --> 00:13:45,453 Or just until we run out of food and water. 241 00:13:45,619 --> 00:13:49,297 - At least we'll have each other. - Till death do us part. 242 00:13:50,123 --> 00:13:52,804 You know what? You guys can have my food and water. 243 00:13:55,629 --> 00:13:56,970 Come on, Raquel. 244 00:13:57,131 --> 00:13:58,174 Come on. 245 00:13:58,340 --> 00:14:00,226 Baby. Come on. 246 00:14:03,137 --> 00:14:06,483 Oh, thank God. Her emotional components are still online. 247 00:14:06,640 --> 00:14:07,767 Emotional components? 248 00:14:07,933 --> 00:14:12,192 I have accomplished things down here you couldn't even possibly imagine. 249 00:14:12,354 --> 00:14:14,988 Here, let me show you. 250 00:14:29,580 --> 00:14:32,260 Right there. That was it, that was it. Did you see it? 251 00:14:34,543 --> 00:14:37,640 Don't you see? This computer responds to feelings. 252 00:14:38,172 --> 00:14:39,762 When I started Greendale... 253 00:14:39,923 --> 00:14:43,850 ...it was for ordinary people to be able to access technology. 254 00:14:44,011 --> 00:14:47,225 Wait, you started Greendale? Do you have that in writing, anywhere? 255 00:14:47,431 --> 00:14:49,934 I don't know. Somewhere with all that crap over there. 256 00:14:50,100 --> 00:14:51,903 But without an emotional component... 257 00:14:52,060 --> 00:14:54,529 ...computers would strip us of all humanity... 258 00:14:54,688 --> 00:14:58,200 ...and create a society with emotionless eggheads at the top... 259 00:14:58,358 --> 00:15:00,410 ...and idiots with feelings at the bottom. 260 00:15:00,569 --> 00:15:04,247 And I refuse to let that happen, and that's why I've spent... What? 261 00:15:04,406 --> 00:15:06,542 - What is that? - It's a video of a kitten. 262 00:15:07,618 --> 00:15:09,705 And why are those people arguing about it? 263 00:15:09,870 --> 00:15:10,914 And what's that? 264 00:15:11,705 --> 00:15:14,339 An emoticon. That person wants to indicate happiness... 265 00:15:14,500 --> 00:15:18,426 ...but can't convey it with language, so they misuse punctuation to form a smile. 266 00:15:19,671 --> 00:15:21,807 That is so... 267 00:15:22,966 --> 00:15:24,354 Stupid. 268 00:15:24,510 --> 00:15:27,060 Only an idiot would think of this. 269 00:15:27,221 --> 00:15:29,724 Idiots won! 270 00:15:30,557 --> 00:15:33,690 Which means my work down here is done. 271 00:15:33,852 --> 00:15:35,655 Good. According to what I'm seeing... 272 00:15:35,813 --> 00:15:39,739 ...if we can get you up there right now, Subway won't be buying this school. 273 00:15:39,900 --> 00:15:41,157 What? 274 00:15:41,318 --> 00:15:42,576 What? 275 00:15:42,736 --> 00:15:45,750 Yeah, but it's gonna take a few hours to get that door open... 276 00:15:45,906 --> 00:15:49,085 ...because Raquel's logic circuits... not good. 277 00:15:49,243 --> 00:15:50,714 Her emotional components work. 278 00:15:50,869 --> 00:15:52,210 Well, in theory... 279 00:15:52,371 --> 00:15:57,259 ...a blast of human passion could shock the mainframe into a cold start... 280 00:15:57,417 --> 00:15:59,588 ...but that's only if somebody in this room... 281 00:15:59,753 --> 00:16:02,850 ...has feelings stronger than I get when I rub my nipples... 282 00:16:03,006 --> 00:16:05,771 - ...so good luck with that, folks. - Give me that. 283 00:16:06,677 --> 00:16:08,931 Everybody over there. Turn around. 284 00:16:09,096 --> 00:16:11,267 Turn around now. 285 00:16:13,684 --> 00:16:15,605 You're here to save me, aren't you? 286 00:16:17,271 --> 00:16:19,442 Let's get out of here and never look back. 287 00:16:21,108 --> 00:16:23,789 In case you have to remember me, can I give you quotes? 288 00:16:23,944 --> 00:16:25,118 Shut up, Abed. 289 00:16:26,780 --> 00:16:28,619 - Milady. - Milord. 290 00:16:37,708 --> 00:16:40,092 - What did you do? - Don't worry about it. Let's go. 291 00:16:46,758 --> 00:16:51,018 The city of Greendale is proud to be selling the school of Greendale... 292 00:16:51,180 --> 00:16:52,223 ...to Subway. 293 00:16:52,389 --> 00:16:56,482 This brings to an end several years of horrible management... 294 00:16:56,643 --> 00:16:59,028 ...by Dean Craig Isidore Pelton... 295 00:16:59,188 --> 00:17:01,323 ...not to throw anyone under the bus. 296 00:17:01,482 --> 00:17:03,154 - No. - But he'd be the one. 297 00:17:03,317 --> 00:17:09,165 By my watch, it is about time to sign these documents and make it official. 298 00:17:09,323 --> 00:17:10,960 Objection. 299 00:17:11,116 --> 00:17:13,335 I teach law at Greendale, so believe me... 300 00:17:13,494 --> 00:17:15,333 ...I don't know much about law... 301 00:17:15,496 --> 00:17:18,260 ...but I do know a contract violation when I see one. 302 00:17:18,415 --> 00:17:20,669 This is a legitimate transaction... 303 00:17:20,834 --> 00:17:23,338 ...where a city is selling a school to a restaurant. 304 00:17:23,504 --> 00:17:25,805 It happens somewhere every day. 305 00:17:25,964 --> 00:17:28,550 Oh, the city can sell the school all it wants... 306 00:17:28,717 --> 00:17:31,268 ...but according to his contract with the city... 307 00:17:31,428 --> 00:17:35,438 ...the school's original founder retains the privilege of consultation... 308 00:17:35,599 --> 00:17:38,696 ...on all future scholastic endeavours taking place here. 309 00:17:38,852 --> 00:17:41,356 So Subway Sandwich University... 310 00:17:41,522 --> 00:17:44,784 ...meet your new vice dean, Russell Borchert. 311 00:17:56,745 --> 00:17:57,789 Hi. 312 00:17:57,955 --> 00:17:59,545 I guess we're gonna be partners. 313 00:17:59,706 --> 00:18:01,509 I understand there's some Internet... 314 00:18:01,667 --> 00:18:04,384 ...where I can make my inner thoughts public. 315 00:18:04,545 --> 00:18:06,716 Greendale the city and Greendale the school... 316 00:18:06,880 --> 00:18:10,226 ...have some stuff to sort out, and Subway doesn't do conflict. 317 00:18:10,384 --> 00:18:12,638 We do good food at good prices. 318 00:18:12,803 --> 00:18:16,397 We are but simple sandwich artists... 319 00:18:16,557 --> 00:18:20,068 - ...who want the world to eat fresh. - Eat fresh! 320 00:18:20,227 --> 00:18:22,908 Subway, ho! 321 00:18:28,193 --> 00:18:29,534 Did we just save Greendale? 322 00:18:29,695 --> 00:18:31,996 Did we just save Greendale? 323 00:18:32,156 --> 00:18:34,208 No! No, you did not. 324 00:18:34,366 --> 00:18:37,664 You moved dirt around Greendale's grave. 325 00:18:37,828 --> 00:18:39,500 Your school is still bankrupt... 326 00:18:39,663 --> 00:18:43,506 ...it is still unmarketable, and it is still on the permanent chopping block... 327 00:18:43,667 --> 00:18:47,428 ...of anyone who has any say in its future. 328 00:18:47,588 --> 00:18:53,105 Yeah? Well, around here, we call that Wednesday. 329 00:19:08,275 --> 00:19:11,869 Hey, after I was electrocuted, didn't you two say you were gonna get married? 330 00:19:12,029 --> 00:19:13,950 Doesn't electrocuted technically mean killed? 331 00:19:14,114 --> 00:19:17,661 - You always have to correct people? - You always have to police correcting? 332 00:19:17,826 --> 00:19:20,460 - Marriage is off. - I think you mean the wedding is off. 333 00:19:20,621 --> 00:19:21,664 - Yeah! - Hey, hey. 334 00:19:21,830 --> 00:19:25,971 Hey, I gotta say, you held up well under that interrogation. 335 00:19:26,126 --> 00:19:29,970 I'm gonna tell you something that I'd like to stay between us, huh? 336 00:19:30,130 --> 00:19:33,642 I was thinking about a hang glider. 337 00:19:34,551 --> 00:19:36,639 None of this conflict truly matters. 338 00:19:36,804 --> 00:19:39,817 The only owners of this land are the Arapaho. 339 00:19:39,973 --> 00:19:45,063 Would it offend you if I asked you to train me in the use of certain powers? 340 00:19:46,814 --> 00:19:47,857 Sorry, Carl. 341 00:19:48,023 --> 00:19:49,115 You deserve better. 342 00:19:49,274 --> 00:19:50,995 Chang, you get it. 343 00:19:51,151 --> 00:19:53,488 How would you like a job on the school board? 344 00:19:53,654 --> 00:19:55,741 - Okay. - Your first job... 345 00:19:55,906 --> 00:19:58,326 ...is to deliver this... 346 00:19:58,492 --> 00:20:01,422 - ...to the City Bursar's Office. - On it. 347 00:20:03,205 --> 00:20:05,922 Hi, yes, I'd like to replace all my teeth with diamonds. 348 00:20:06,083 --> 00:20:08,337 We live to fight another day. 349 00:20:08,502 --> 00:20:11,266 I never got a chance to wish you a happy birthday. 350 00:20:11,421 --> 00:20:13,094 Or Halloween or Christmas... 351 00:20:13,257 --> 00:20:14,929 ...or any specific calendar event. 352 00:20:15,092 --> 00:20:17,346 - Well, maybe next year. - Definitely. 353 00:20:17,511 --> 00:20:19,563 We'll definitely be back next year. 354 00:20:19,721 --> 00:20:23,399 If not, it'll be because an asteroid has destroyed all human civilisation... 355 00:20:23,559 --> 00:20:25,030 ...and that's canon. 356 00:20:25,185 --> 00:20:27,356 What? What are you...? 357 00:20:28,689 --> 00:20:30,195 Nothing. 358 00:20:56,383 --> 00:20:58,768 Am I thinking what you're thinking? 359 00:21:02,222 --> 00:21:03,563 Penny for your thoughts. 360 00:21:11,273 --> 00:21:12,863 Intensive Karen. 361 00:21:14,401 --> 00:21:15,493 Mr. Egypt. 362 00:21:17,738 --> 00:21:18,829 Celebrity Beat-Off. 363 00:21:20,073 --> 00:21:22,410 Captain Cook. 364 00:21:25,746 --> 00:21:27,585 Depends on what fails.