1 00:00:01,053 --> 00:00:07,826 From the marble steps of old DC to the sun soaked Tampa coast. 2 00:00:07,827 --> 00:00:12,614 I have been to every place where you can find a human race but 3 00:00:12,615 --> 00:00:15,003 I have been Vicki the mooooooost! 4 00:00:16,011 --> 00:00:19,572 I'm gonna go get a shovel, because theater is dead. 5 00:00:19,573 --> 00:00:20,573 Shh. 6 00:00:29,766 --> 00:00:30,548 Hi Starburns. 7 00:00:30,549 --> 00:00:35,140 Todd, you know you don't have to creep around to be weird, right? 8 00:00:35,141 --> 00:00:37,250 You're weird at picnics. 9 00:00:37,251 --> 00:00:39,140 Did you hear about the paintball game? 10 00:00:39,141 --> 00:00:40,210 Yeah, I heard there was no paintball. 11 00:00:40,211 --> 00:00:41,490 I heard it was banned. 12 00:00:41,491 --> 00:00:44,370 Well, you can't believe everything you hear. 13 00:00:44,371 --> 00:00:48,309 Okay, you just asked if I heard something and 14 00:00:48,310 --> 00:00:51,635 now you're invalidating the whole. 15 00:00:51,636 --> 00:00:52,636 Oh! Aah! 16 00:01:35,990 --> 00:01:38,110 Do you know why I beat you, Todd? 17 00:01:38,780 --> 00:01:40,726 Seriously, you don't? 18 00:01:40,856 --> 00:01:42,183 Cuz I don't either, but that was insane. 19 00:01:42,184 --> 00:01:43,698 I'm 50, here. 20 00:01:44,717 --> 00:01:45,733 I think, I think I could win this year. 21 00:01:45,734 --> 00:01:47,114 I think I can go all the way. 22 00:01:47,115 --> 00:01:50,860 Actually, you'll be settling for silver. 23 00:02:27,342 --> 00:02:29,977 Names, you give me names or you're expelled, that simple. 24 00:02:29,978 --> 00:02:33,239 I told ya, I don't know nothing about no secret paintball games. 25 00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:35,748 This is from huffing paint, I swear. 26 00:02:35,749 --> 00:02:37,785 Escort Alex Osbourne off campus. 27 00:02:37,786 --> 00:02:38,795 Hey, hey, hey! 28 00:02:38,796 --> 00:02:39,962 Hold your horse panties. 29 00:02:39,963 --> 00:02:41,901 You didn't tell me you knew my name. 30 00:02:41,902 --> 00:02:45,273 Look, I was about to take Todd out, and then we both got shot. 31 00:02:45,274 --> 00:02:46,602 Guy was invisible. 32 00:02:46,603 --> 00:02:48,013 A ghost. 33 00:02:48,014 --> 00:02:50,759 Uses silver paint. 34 00:02:50,760 --> 00:02:51,889 A ghost? 35 00:02:51,890 --> 00:02:52,399 So no name? 36 00:02:52,400 --> 00:02:53,780 I'd call him Silver Ghost, but 37 00:02:53,781 --> 00:02:57,116 that's probably already taken by an indie comic book or a terrible tequila. 38 00:02:57,117 --> 00:02:58,916 Bye forever Starburns. 39 00:02:58,917 --> 00:02:59,489 No. 40 00:02:59,490 --> 00:03:01,187 No. No, no, no, no. 41 00:03:01,188 --> 00:03:01,938 No, don't make me. Frankie? 42 00:03:01,939 --> 00:03:04,649 Dean, I respect that you are my boss, so either fire me or 43 00:03:04,650 --> 00:03:07,027 let me handle this and go to your office. 44 00:03:07,028 --> 00:03:11,214 I want to give your paintball friends a message, Jeff. 45 00:03:11,215 --> 00:03:12,317 Good morning. 46 00:03:12,318 --> 00:03:14,684 This era is over. 47 00:03:14,685 --> 00:03:17,004 It was fun while it lasted, but now mommy's home. 48 00:03:17,005 --> 00:03:19,914 Everybody with a gun will be expelled or fired. 49 00:03:19,915 --> 00:03:20,844 Don't worry, Miss Dart. 50 00:03:20,845 --> 00:03:22,884 My boys and I will get this cleaned up in no time. 51 00:03:22,885 --> 00:03:23,704 Thank you. 52 00:03:23,705 --> 00:03:25,564 Jeff, do you know Deputy Custodian Lapari. 53 00:03:25,565 --> 00:03:29,034 Oh, we haven't had the pleasure because Mr. Winger has caused me nothing 54 00:03:29,035 --> 00:03:31,264 but pain over the years with his paint balling. 55 00:03:31,265 --> 00:03:32,354 I'm sorry. I quit that. 56 00:03:32,355 --> 00:03:33,314 That's behind me. 57 00:03:33,315 --> 00:03:34,315 Sure it is. 58 00:03:35,995 --> 00:03:37,764 Handling turds has rubbed off on him. 59 00:03:37,765 --> 00:03:41,164 Custodian Lapari is gonna be honored this week at the Gala for 60 00:03:41,165 --> 00:03:42,334 a Cleaner Greendale. 61 00:03:42,335 --> 00:03:43,624 I'd like you to introduce him. 62 00:03:43,625 --> 00:03:44,294 Why would I do that? 63 00:03:44,295 --> 00:03:46,444 Because you're the de facto leader of Greendale. 64 00:03:46,445 --> 00:03:49,764 And if you gave a speech coming out against paintball, it might end it. 65 00:03:49,765 --> 00:03:50,474 No. No. 66 00:03:50,475 --> 00:03:53,094 Just because I'm not playing doesn't mean I'm the weenie that tells 67 00:03:53,095 --> 00:03:54,095 people not to. 68 00:03:54,975 --> 00:03:56,284 Please? 69 00:03:56,285 --> 00:03:57,645 If not for Greendale, then for me? 70 00:03:59,830 --> 00:04:02,872 I'll think about it. 71 00:04:06,801 --> 00:04:07,862 Look, I was a different guy back then. 72 00:04:07,863 --> 00:04:09,114 Yeah. Two, never mind. 73 00:04:09,115 --> 00:04:10,634 Well, Frankie's upset. 74 00:04:10,635 --> 00:04:11,774 Did she break up with someone? 75 00:04:11,775 --> 00:04:12,684 Which gender? 76 00:04:12,685 --> 00:04:14,306 I don't care, but everybody else does. 77 00:04:14,307 --> 00:04:15,746 She's upset about paintball. 78 00:04:15,747 --> 00:04:16,757 Paint? 79 00:04:18,010 --> 00:04:18,915 Ball? 80 00:04:18,916 --> 00:04:22,107 Occasionally our campus erupts into a flawless, post modern, homage to 81 00:04:22,108 --> 00:04:25,914 action adventure mythology, mischaracterized by the ignorant as parody. 82 00:04:25,915 --> 00:04:29,944 Apparently, now that Frankie's declared it illegal, it's gone underground, 83 00:04:29,945 --> 00:04:31,679 and is still happening as we speak. 84 00:04:31,680 --> 00:04:33,044 Well maybe for freshman, but 85 00:04:33,045 --> 00:04:35,294 honestly we've kind of done it to death, right? 86 00:04:35,295 --> 00:04:36,014 Done it? 87 00:04:36,015 --> 00:04:37,399 Nailed it? I've won a few time now. 88 00:04:37,400 --> 00:04:40,234 No, who keeps track of that? 89 00:04:40,235 --> 00:04:41,766 Lame! I'm thinking mostly about Frankie. 90 00:04:41,767 --> 00:04:45,471 She's our friend, and she cares about this school, and I think it would 91 00:04:45,472 --> 00:04:48,650 break her heart if she caught any of us undermining her goals. 92 00:04:48,651 --> 00:04:49,312 Yeah. Yeah. 93 00:04:49,313 --> 00:04:50,909 I agree. A reasonable agreement. 94 00:04:50,910 --> 00:04:52,441 You're both right. 95 00:04:52,442 --> 00:04:53,282 Well, meeting adjourned, I guess. Hm-hm. 96 00:04:53,283 --> 00:04:53,921 This is good. 97 00:04:53,922 --> 00:04:55,819 I'm glad we all agree not to do this. 98 00:04:55,820 --> 00:04:58,873 Is gonna make it a lot easier for me to beat you. 99 00:05:01,178 --> 00:05:03,900 What the hell? 100 00:05:03,901 --> 00:05:06,275 They killed meeeeeee! 101 00:05:06,276 --> 00:05:07,192 Whoa, whoa, whoa. 102 00:05:07,193 --> 00:05:08,318 Don't do anything stupid. 103 00:05:08,319 --> 00:05:09,525 Do something stupid. 104 00:05:09,526 --> 00:05:10,317 I thought we weren't playing. 105 00:05:10,318 --> 00:05:11,109 Is this an alliance? 106 00:05:11,110 --> 00:05:11,692 I don't know, is it? 107 00:05:11,693 --> 00:05:13,604 Who's people? Cut the crap, Elroy. 108 00:05:13,605 --> 00:05:14,805 Stop that, what are you doing? 109 00:05:15,901 --> 00:05:17,109 Aah! Go back to class. 110 00:05:17,110 --> 00:05:19,025 Winger's playing paintball. 111 00:05:19,026 --> 00:05:20,609 No, he's not. 112 00:05:20,610 --> 00:05:21,650 Don't think about it, don't think about it. 113 00:05:21,651 --> 00:05:22,860 Don't do it. 114 00:05:32,901 --> 00:05:37,025 Grow up. 115 00:05:37,026 --> 00:05:37,900 What are you doing? 116 00:05:37,901 --> 00:05:39,234 I'm not playing. 117 00:05:39,235 --> 00:05:41,924 For a guy who's not playing, you sure are shooting a bunch of mothers. 118 00:05:41,925 --> 00:05:42,714 That was instinct. 119 00:05:42,715 --> 00:05:44,294 I can't help being a bad ass. 120 00:05:44,295 --> 00:05:46,294 But I am not playing. 121 00:05:46,295 --> 00:05:48,274 Okay, so let's make this painless. 122 00:05:48,275 --> 00:05:49,174 Take it easy. Leave her alone. 123 00:05:49,175 --> 00:05:49,844 Stop it. 124 00:05:49,845 --> 00:05:51,094 Knock it off. 125 00:05:51,095 --> 00:05:52,254 Frankie is coming. 126 00:05:52,255 --> 00:05:53,860 What is important to you people? 127 00:05:56,485 --> 00:06:01,109 Jeff Winger shot me. 128 00:06:01,110 --> 00:06:03,567 Do I use echo location to navigate? 129 00:06:03,568 --> 00:06:05,442 Why would you ask that after learning you aren't a bat? 130 00:06:05,443 --> 00:06:06,484 Hello. 131 00:06:06,485 --> 00:06:07,900 Hi, Frankie. 132 00:06:07,901 --> 00:06:08,442 Frankie. 133 00:06:08,443 --> 00:06:13,193 Yes, Jeff, student just passed by me and said you shot him with paint. 134 00:06:14,443 --> 00:06:16,317 Okay. 135 00:06:16,318 --> 00:06:18,942 So, you are definitely not playing paint ball? 136 00:06:18,943 --> 00:06:20,567 No. 137 00:06:20,568 --> 00:06:22,936 Frankie, I've been cool up until now, but I gotta tell you, 138 00:06:22,937 --> 00:06:25,734 I'm starting to get offended by your suspicion about this. 139 00:06:25,735 --> 00:06:27,914 Well. Well is a hole in the ground when you're thirsty. 140 00:06:27,915 --> 00:06:30,484 Oh. I'm telling you, I ain't playing no paintball. 141 00:06:30,485 --> 00:06:32,692 Boo hee haw, boo hew haw, bam. 142 00:06:32,693 --> 00:06:36,192 Okay, take it easy guys. 143 00:06:36,193 --> 00:06:39,264 And for what it's worth, thank you for teaching me the cool, 144 00:06:39,265 --> 00:06:42,352 new way to respond to people saying the word well. 145 00:06:42,353 --> 00:06:43,734 All right guys. 146 00:06:43,735 --> 00:06:46,360 Bye Franks take it easy. 147 00:06:49,485 --> 00:06:51,067 Would you stop doing that? 148 00:06:51,068 --> 00:06:52,067 Don't hate the player. 149 00:06:52,068 --> 00:06:54,067 Colloquialisms aside, Annie's right. 150 00:06:54,068 --> 00:06:57,193 The thing to hate this year is the game. 151 00:06:57,194 --> 00:07:00,359 Can I show you all something? 152 00:07:00,360 --> 00:07:03,064 You know this game is being run anonymously through an online server, but 153 00:07:03,065 --> 00:07:03,596 who set it up? 154 00:07:03,597 --> 00:07:06,116 They haven't left a clue which is a really big clue because if they're this 155 00:07:06,117 --> 00:07:06,765 good at anything. 156 00:07:06,766 --> 00:07:07,787 Why are they here? 157 00:07:07,788 --> 00:07:11,944 Whoever's running this server is offering a huge cash prize to the winner. 158 00:07:11,945 --> 00:07:13,614 More evidence they don't go here. 159 00:07:13,615 --> 00:07:15,609 And they seem to have their own man in the game. 160 00:07:15,610 --> 00:07:19,234 You've probably heard about a mysterious player using silver paint balls. 161 00:07:19,235 --> 00:07:21,067 Well, look at these IP addresses. 162 00:07:21,068 --> 00:07:24,484 If that means what I think it means, we're dealing with gibberish. 163 00:07:24,485 --> 00:07:26,040 Those are mine. 164 00:07:26,041 --> 00:07:26,584 That's a student or 165 00:07:26,585 --> 00:07:29,784 teacher on this campus opening an encrypted tunnel to an off campus site. 166 00:07:29,785 --> 00:07:30,285 Big deal. 167 00:07:30,286 --> 00:07:31,174 I do that all the time. 168 00:07:31,175 --> 00:07:32,884 Oh, I save it all up for Saturday night. 169 00:07:32,885 --> 00:07:34,184 You're right, it's no big deal. 170 00:07:34,185 --> 00:07:36,624 Unless you always do it immediately before a paintball player is taken out 171 00:07:36,625 --> 00:07:39,854 with premium grade silver paintballs by an unknown shooter. 172 00:07:39,855 --> 00:07:44,334 And unless the IP that you're connecting to is this one. 173 00:07:44,335 --> 00:07:45,464 Aah, of course. 174 00:07:45,465 --> 00:07:47,234 So who's the Silver paintballs guy? 175 00:07:47,235 --> 00:07:50,919 Spy, assassin, mercenary, bad person walking among us laughing, 176 00:07:50,920 --> 00:07:51,984 laughing quietly. 177 00:07:51,985 --> 00:07:54,067 And then if we look pretending that he was looking at something funny. 178 00:07:54,068 --> 00:07:58,317 I suppose you all should be in trouble. 179 00:07:58,318 --> 00:08:03,236 But desperate deans hm, but 180 00:08:03,237 --> 00:08:07,986 desperates, but des, but 181 00:08:07,987 --> 00:08:14,609 desperate deans call for Deansperate measures. 182 00:08:14,610 --> 00:08:19,942 From here on out, you work for me. 183 00:08:19,943 --> 00:08:22,126 Everything you're saying just proves my point, 184 00:08:22,127 --> 00:08:24,764 that the only way to lose this game is to play it. 185 00:08:24,765 --> 00:08:27,014 And I say we do the honest thing, and tell Frankie. 186 00:08:27,015 --> 00:08:29,564 The school's playing and losing already, Frankie included. 187 00:08:29,565 --> 00:08:31,194 If the people in this room play to win, 188 00:08:31,195 --> 00:08:32,854 we can not only take City College's money. 189 00:08:32,855 --> 00:08:36,354 We can expose Silverballs, and, in turn, City College, and save Greendale. 190 00:08:36,355 --> 00:08:38,274 Which is basically saving Frankie. 191 00:08:38,275 --> 00:08:41,794 All right, so we lay low, and we try to find out who Silverballs is. 192 00:08:41,795 --> 00:08:44,394 But we're not, to be clear, we did not vote on that name. 193 00:08:44,395 --> 00:08:45,995 Here's a name you don't have to vote on. 194 00:08:46,945 --> 00:08:50,504 You just became the Secret Dean Force, The Dean Boys, 195 00:08:50,505 --> 00:08:52,974 Task Force Dean, His Dean, Secret People. 196 00:08:52,975 --> 00:08:54,722 I know the word Dean is in it. 197 00:08:54,723 --> 00:08:57,484 Because when the politicians fail, and the peace talks fall apart. 198 00:08:57,485 --> 00:09:00,404 When it seems like all is lost, and 199 00:09:00,405 --> 00:09:05,859 nobody really needs the Dean anymore because Frankie's here. 200 00:09:05,860 --> 00:09:07,025 That's when you go in. 201 00:09:07,026 --> 00:09:11,901 The last bastion of a bygone era when people respected me. 202 00:09:14,861 --> 00:09:22,861 Dean Force One. 203 00:09:23,151 --> 00:09:24,942 If you're gonna hang around, we could use some water. 204 00:09:24,943 --> 00:09:27,193 On it. 205 00:09:30,191 --> 00:09:33,274 Club Club, the last club I thought I'd ever join. 206 00:09:33,275 --> 00:09:35,732 Your target is a small time paintball munitions dealer. 207 00:09:35,733 --> 00:09:40,940 All we know is he's a white male over 30 and his street name is Fun Dad. 208 00:09:40,941 --> 00:09:44,190 All right is everybody in this club ready to party the way they 209 00:09:44,191 --> 00:09:45,191 do in clubs? 210 00:09:48,358 --> 00:09:51,138 Connor stop horsing around with Billy and party. 211 00:09:51,139 --> 00:09:53,099 DJ might be the guy from MeowMeowBeenz. 212 00:09:53,100 --> 00:09:54,622 We need clean intelligence, Abed. 213 00:09:54,623 --> 00:09:55,830 No references, call backs. 214 00:09:55,831 --> 00:09:58,488 Excuse me good sir, if I could have the mic. 215 00:09:58,489 --> 00:10:03,733 Attention shoppers there's a sale on partying in my pants aisle. 216 00:10:03,734 --> 00:10:05,791 Everything in my pants must go. 217 00:10:05,792 --> 00:10:09,224 Well not everything, that doesn't, you know what I. 218 00:10:09,225 --> 00:10:10,225 Koogler? 219 00:10:10,945 --> 00:10:13,594 Aladdin. I thought your name was Fun Dad. 220 00:10:13,595 --> 00:10:14,154 No. 221 00:10:14,155 --> 00:10:15,674 That was easy. 222 00:10:15,675 --> 00:10:16,444 I need ammunition. 223 00:10:16,445 --> 00:10:18,464 Are you a narc? Why would I answer that honestly? 224 00:10:18,465 --> 00:10:19,244 Good point. 225 00:10:19,245 --> 00:10:20,535 It's how most people answer, so. 226 00:10:21,535 --> 00:10:22,544 Yeah, come on, it's a bad question. 227 00:10:22,545 --> 00:10:23,654 You just get so many narcs. 228 00:10:23,655 --> 00:10:24,404 Hey don't forget. 229 00:10:24,405 --> 00:10:27,964 There's a sign up sheet on the back wall for Club Club Club. 230 00:10:27,965 --> 00:10:30,754 Listen, I'm so glad Omar that you're interested in paintball. 231 00:10:30,755 --> 00:10:32,784 Now I have to tell you, no shooting in here. 232 00:10:32,785 --> 00:10:35,584 The first rule of Club Club is that we are not a fight club. 233 00:10:35,585 --> 00:10:40,354 The second rule is that if you're a hot lady, you have to have sex with me. 234 00:10:40,355 --> 00:10:41,604 And then there's a bunch of rules and 235 00:10:41,605 --> 00:10:44,924 restriction that they've just now been adding because of the lawsuits based 236 00:10:44,925 --> 00:10:48,174 on that, second rule, which, I'm not allowed to call a rule. 237 00:10:48,175 --> 00:10:48,954 That was my screw up. 238 00:10:48,955 --> 00:10:50,376 Let me show you what I've got here. 239 00:10:50,377 --> 00:10:53,034 All right, these are blue travelers. 240 00:10:53,035 --> 00:10:57,394 I think I've got some sarcastic mellow yellows in here. 241 00:10:57,395 --> 00:10:58,064 Those are great. 242 00:10:58,065 --> 00:10:59,994 And these are green meanies. 243 00:10:59,995 --> 00:11:03,584 They explode on contact, and they mark your target with paint. 244 00:11:03,585 --> 00:11:05,264 That's a description of every paint ball. 245 00:11:05,265 --> 00:11:06,784 Okay, so you know your stuff. 246 00:11:06,785 --> 00:11:08,004 Why don't I give you a pro discount? 247 00:11:08,005 --> 00:11:11,614 I'm thinking something more exotic, something in silver? 248 00:11:14,423 --> 00:11:17,232 Yeah, okay, great. 249 00:11:17,233 --> 00:11:18,753 I think that's a great idea, you know? 250 00:11:25,083 --> 00:11:25,954 You want to stay in the game? 251 00:11:25,955 --> 00:11:26,955 Talk. 252 00:11:27,735 --> 00:11:29,264 Okay, look. 253 00:11:29,265 --> 00:11:30,784 If you're a narc, you can't play. 254 00:11:30,785 --> 00:11:36,186 And if you're playing, I do accept sex for ammo. 255 00:11:36,187 --> 00:11:37,974 Or beer, right? 256 00:11:37,975 --> 00:11:38,904 But not Bitcoin. 257 00:11:38,905 --> 00:11:39,904 I mean, I believe in it. 258 00:11:39,905 --> 00:11:43,234 I just, I think I feel like I need it to stabilize. 259 00:11:43,235 --> 00:11:45,914 Who is Silver Man? 260 00:11:45,915 --> 00:11:47,089 My accountant? 261 00:11:47,090 --> 00:11:47,804 Oh, how do you know David? 262 00:11:47,805 --> 00:11:48,874 You know what I mean. 263 00:11:48,875 --> 00:11:50,094 Who buys the silver ammo? 264 00:11:50,095 --> 00:11:54,056 Oh, look, if I tell you that, I'm pretendsies dead. 265 00:12:05,131 --> 00:12:07,713 Koogler? We got him. 266 00:12:07,714 --> 00:12:09,686 That's good. 267 00:12:09,687 --> 00:12:10,847 Then he wont be needing this. 268 00:12:13,655 --> 00:12:17,039 Koogler's thumb drive is actually a hardware encryption key. 269 00:12:17,040 --> 00:12:19,814 Hm, can it be unencrypted? 270 00:12:19,815 --> 00:12:21,994 No, you use it to decrypt something encrypted. 271 00:12:21,995 --> 00:12:23,914 A key with a lock on it. 272 00:12:23,915 --> 00:12:25,354 I'll give our enemy this. 273 00:12:25,355 --> 00:12:26,355 They're clever. 274 00:12:27,245 --> 00:12:28,445 Why did they pair us together? 275 00:12:29,415 --> 00:12:32,704 Look, a message chain between Koogler and Silverballs. 276 00:12:32,705 --> 00:12:34,914 Now he's ordering a huge batch of ammo, and 277 00:12:34,915 --> 00:12:37,854 stressing that he needs it before the Cleaner Greendale Gala. 278 00:12:37,855 --> 00:12:40,344 City College is-Whoa! 279 00:12:40,345 --> 00:12:43,594 Oh! City College is going to crash Frankie's Gala. 280 00:12:43,595 --> 00:12:47,254 And here's where Silverballs decides on silver balls. 281 00:12:47,255 --> 00:12:51,774 Which color will look coolest against a navy blue jumpsuit? 282 00:12:51,775 --> 00:12:53,804 Who wears a jumpsuit to a black tie gala? 283 00:12:53,805 --> 00:12:56,465 The guest of honor. 284 00:12:58,555 --> 00:13:00,034 Is your Internet not working? 285 00:13:00,035 --> 00:13:00,904 It's one photo. 286 00:13:00,905 --> 00:13:01,885 It's taking an hour. 287 00:13:01,886 --> 00:13:06,365 You have keystrokes programmed to, eesh, that's dorky. 288 00:13:06,366 --> 00:13:09,035 Looks like we'll be renting formal wear. 289 00:13:09,036 --> 00:13:10,628 I'll measure Jeffrey. 290 00:13:15,758 --> 00:13:18,504 Mister Winger, you clean up nice. 291 00:13:18,505 --> 00:13:19,985 Oh, come on. I'm always good looking. 292 00:13:20,825 --> 00:13:22,994 This seems ambitious. 293 00:13:22,995 --> 00:13:27,734 Well, the monorail is more symbolic of our potential than it is potential, 294 00:13:27,735 --> 00:13:29,914 and none of our buildings will ever be shaped like this. 295 00:13:29,915 --> 00:13:32,484 But with a little work, this is how we could feel. 296 00:13:32,485 --> 00:13:34,472 You should be proud. 297 00:13:34,473 --> 00:13:38,465 Thank you, Jeff, for supporting this. 298 00:13:40,055 --> 00:13:41,055 Why is that in your ear? 299 00:13:41,975 --> 00:13:44,923 Oh, I'm raising awareness of Armenian American stereotypes. 300 00:13:44,924 --> 00:13:46,044 Bale to belfry. 301 00:13:46,045 --> 00:13:47,394 Let's check in. 302 00:13:47,395 --> 00:13:52,454 Should stereotypes have their awareness raised, I? 303 00:13:52,455 --> 00:13:53,304 Oh, good lord. 304 00:13:53,305 --> 00:13:54,434 I'm questioning you again. 305 00:13:54,435 --> 00:13:55,084 Why? 306 00:13:55,085 --> 00:13:57,344 Follow your bliss, sir. 307 00:13:57,345 --> 00:13:58,345 You've earned it. 308 00:13:59,615 --> 00:14:02,334 Keaton to belfry, I need to just all make sure we are very, 309 00:14:02,335 --> 00:14:03,294 very careful here. 310 00:14:03,295 --> 00:14:03,854 Bale to Keaton, 311 00:14:03,855 --> 00:14:06,575 why don't you set a good example by keeping your mind on the mission? 312 00:14:07,445 --> 00:14:08,525 And your eyes on the prize. 313 00:14:10,735 --> 00:14:11,414 Prize is secure. 314 00:14:11,415 --> 00:14:12,415 Keaton out. 315 00:14:13,505 --> 00:14:14,364 West to belfry. 316 00:14:14,365 --> 00:14:15,964 Entrances secure. 317 00:14:15,965 --> 00:14:17,774 Keaton to Kilmer, status. 318 00:14:17,775 --> 00:14:20,334 Kilmer to Belfry, I'm currently examining a spoon, 319 00:14:20,335 --> 00:14:22,254 only I'm not really examining it. 320 00:14:22,255 --> 00:14:26,524 I'm using it was cover while watching a somewhat suspicious waiter. 321 00:14:26,525 --> 00:14:28,014 Voice of Diedrich Bader to belfry. 322 00:14:28,015 --> 00:14:30,104 I've checked the custodial wing for the third time. 323 00:14:30,105 --> 00:14:31,944 Can I come join the mission now? 324 00:14:31,945 --> 00:14:33,214 Negative voice of Diedrich Bader. 325 00:14:33,215 --> 00:14:34,824 Continue to check the custodial wing, 326 00:14:34,825 --> 00:14:37,994 and then check the parameter of the inside of your office. 327 00:14:37,995 --> 00:14:38,995 Okay. 328 00:14:41,245 --> 00:14:43,254 And for the record, I feel very vulnerable without a gun. 329 00:14:43,255 --> 00:14:47,344 Ugh, I know that someone plays in this thing. 330 00:14:47,345 --> 00:14:50,310 Hey there, Dean. 331 00:14:50,311 --> 00:14:51,599 We need a custodian. 332 00:14:51,600 --> 00:14:54,216 Dean. 333 00:14:54,217 --> 00:14:55,151 Dean. 334 00:14:55,152 --> 00:14:56,463 Dean. 335 00:14:56,464 --> 00:14:57,464 Dean. 336 00:15:10,356 --> 00:15:12,585 Clooney to belfry I've got a bogey with a gun. 337 00:15:12,586 --> 00:15:13,641 Excuse me. 338 00:15:13,642 --> 00:15:16,491 I wasn't talking to you, I was ordering dinner. 339 00:15:16,492 --> 00:15:23,988 Yes hello can I get a bogey with a gun no pickles and three orders of gun. 340 00:15:23,989 --> 00:15:26,217 Damn it. 341 00:15:26,218 --> 00:15:28,719 Clooney slooped the bogey, now he's headed for the kitchen. 342 00:15:28,720 --> 00:15:32,370 Should we go? 343 00:15:32,371 --> 00:15:34,044 Negative, we don't know it's our man. 344 00:15:34,045 --> 00:15:38,166 Kilmer, Clooney do nothing unless you can do it quietly and calmly. 345 00:15:39,292 --> 00:15:40,598 Whoa, what the hell? 346 00:15:40,599 --> 00:15:41,195 No. Nothing. 347 00:15:41,196 --> 00:15:42,431 Are you ready? 348 00:15:42,432 --> 00:15:44,601 Yes. 349 00:15:44,602 --> 00:15:47,203 Clooney to Kilmer. 350 00:15:47,204 --> 00:15:48,714 What? Should I come in now? 351 00:15:48,715 --> 00:15:52,626 No, no you can't ever come in ever, you're sloppy. 352 00:15:52,627 --> 00:15:55,062 Excuse me can I have a word with you? 353 00:15:55,063 --> 00:15:56,108 About what? 354 00:15:59,218 --> 00:16:03,584 Well, there's been some reports about a paintball game on campus. 355 00:16:03,585 --> 00:16:06,295 Oh yeah, you better believe the kitchen boys are playing and 356 00:16:06,296 --> 00:16:08,117 this year we got a new winning strategy. 357 00:16:08,118 --> 00:16:10,798 Let the idiots come to you. 358 00:16:10,799 --> 00:16:17,568 Oh really, oh Britta you can come in now. 359 00:16:18,921 --> 00:16:20,006 Oh! 360 00:16:25,380 --> 00:16:26,380 Boom boom! 361 00:16:29,396 --> 00:16:30,396 Oh! 362 00:16:38,352 --> 00:16:39,738 Oh! 363 00:16:39,739 --> 00:16:42,549 Oh! Oh! 364 00:16:42,550 --> 00:16:43,550 I'm sorry! 365 00:16:46,408 --> 00:16:47,924 Agh. 366 00:16:47,925 --> 00:16:55,190 Oh! Agh! 367 00:16:55,191 --> 00:16:59,911 I stand before you one of Greendale's biggest perpetrators of paint related 368 00:16:59,912 --> 00:17:04,282 mayhem and I am happy to say that those days are fully behind our school. 369 00:17:04,283 --> 00:17:08,338 Looking back on those dark days, it's clear that the only heroes were 370 00:17:08,339 --> 00:17:11,868 the janitors and the custodians left to clean up our messes. 371 00:17:13,928 --> 00:17:16,680 Oh! 372 00:17:16,681 --> 00:17:17,278 Ow! 373 00:17:17,279 --> 00:17:19,489 Oh, ow! 374 00:17:19,490 --> 00:17:20,806 Ow! 375 00:17:20,807 --> 00:17:21,411 Oh. 376 00:17:21,412 --> 00:17:23,048 Oh. 377 00:17:31,069 --> 00:17:35,104 So it is with great shame and poetic irony that I present 378 00:17:35,105 --> 00:17:39,682 the custodial innovation award to Vice Custodian, Lapari. 379 00:17:43,710 --> 00:17:44,511 What the hell are you doing in there? 380 00:17:44,512 --> 00:17:45,416 Jeff, focus. 381 00:17:45,417 --> 00:17:46,200 You all right, man? 382 00:17:46,201 --> 00:17:47,802 Yes. It wasn't our guy. 383 00:17:47,803 --> 00:17:49,880 The assassin is not in the kitchen. 384 00:17:49,881 --> 00:17:50,664 He's still at large. 385 00:17:50,665 --> 00:17:56,202 And now let's all enact what I hope will become a yearly tradition, 386 00:17:56,203 --> 00:17:58,639 the popping of the balloons. 387 00:17:58,640 --> 00:17:59,283 What? 388 00:17:59,284 --> 00:18:07,242 And Stay calm, check your zones. 389 00:18:08,703 --> 00:18:12,214 Who's that? 390 00:18:12,215 --> 00:18:12,854 Where? 391 00:18:12,855 --> 00:18:13,632 Where? 392 00:18:13,633 --> 00:18:14,950 I don't see anything. 393 00:18:14,951 --> 00:18:15,951 Him. 394 00:18:20,116 --> 00:18:21,116 Oh! 395 00:18:42,162 --> 00:18:43,162 Sorry. 396 00:18:53,336 --> 00:18:55,274 It's the custodians. 397 00:18:55,275 --> 00:18:59,294 Greendale's custodial staff is running the underground paintball tournament 398 00:18:59,295 --> 00:19:01,844 probably with City College money. 399 00:19:01,845 --> 00:19:04,954 The people that clean Greendale don't want a cleaner Greendale, 400 00:19:04,955 --> 00:19:08,765 they want Greendale to be afraid of itself and reliant on them. 401 00:19:11,235 --> 00:19:12,744 Oh, what an exciting story. 402 00:19:12,745 --> 00:19:15,084 We're got a real life M Night Shamalyan here. 403 00:19:15,085 --> 00:19:16,084 It's Shyamalan. 404 00:19:16,085 --> 00:19:22,184 Unfortunately, as with his stories I don't anticipate yours holding up. 405 00:19:22,185 --> 00:19:23,034 Easy target. 406 00:19:23,035 --> 00:19:24,834 Who's heckling me? 407 00:19:24,835 --> 00:19:26,644 Oh, of course, it's the Indian guy. 408 00:19:26,645 --> 00:19:27,244 I'm Arabic. 409 00:19:27,245 --> 00:19:30,375 Ow, okay, let's go with that. 410 00:19:31,675 --> 00:19:34,884 Anyway, you know what goes great with crazy stories? 411 00:19:34,885 --> 00:19:36,774 Evidence. You're the evidence. 412 00:19:36,775 --> 00:19:40,924 Come back to our side and tell the truth, so City College can be exposed. 413 00:19:40,925 --> 00:19:43,564 Or I could leave and get a job at City College, 414 00:19:43,565 --> 00:19:47,344 where their pay phones aren't only herpe-free, they're actually removed. 415 00:19:47,345 --> 00:19:49,294 You think City College will take you if you lose their 416 00:19:49,295 --> 00:19:50,235 paintball prize money? 417 00:19:50,236 --> 00:19:53,558 I don't know how many men you have left in your game, but 418 00:19:53,559 --> 00:19:57,048 if you're leaving this room, it needs to be a small army. 419 00:19:57,049 --> 00:19:58,040 Oh! 420 00:19:58,041 --> 00:19:59,041 Mm. 421 00:20:02,494 --> 00:20:04,799 Okay. I agree. 422 00:20:09,735 --> 00:20:16,280 Annie look 423 00:20:16,281 --> 00:20:19,920 out. 424 00:20:22,855 --> 00:20:23,855 Oh. 425 00:20:27,635 --> 00:20:28,668 An eye for an eye. 426 00:20:32,291 --> 00:20:35,029 Oh. 427 00:20:35,030 --> 00:20:36,447 Aah! 428 00:20:39,349 --> 00:20:40,091 Oh! 429 00:20:40,092 --> 00:20:42,425 No! 430 00:20:42,426 --> 00:20:47,731 No! 431 00:20:51,859 --> 00:20:52,859 Aah! 432 00:20:53,909 --> 00:20:55,186 Ow! 433 00:20:55,187 --> 00:20:59,603 We're the last ones left? 434 00:20:59,604 --> 00:21:00,484 Cover me. 435 00:21:00,485 --> 00:21:02,245 Oh, dreams do come true! 436 00:21:09,036 --> 00:21:09,953 Okay, we got him. 437 00:21:09,954 --> 00:21:11,044 He went into a supply closet. 438 00:21:11,045 --> 00:21:11,619 I know. 439 00:21:11,620 --> 00:21:14,162 I guess to a custodian, a supply closet is like a location. 440 00:21:21,167 --> 00:21:23,525 I'm actually relieved. I thought this was gonna be a whole gauntlet. 441 00:21:23,526 --> 00:21:24,974 My heart was not in it. 442 00:21:24,975 --> 00:21:26,644 I mean, I shot a disabled kid. 443 00:21:26,645 --> 00:21:27,594 I can't do this anymore. 444 00:21:27,595 --> 00:21:29,053 What are you looking at? 445 00:21:29,054 --> 00:21:30,442 This isn't a closet. 446 00:21:44,683 --> 00:21:46,738 Oh, it's really nice of you guys to visit, 447 00:21:46,739 --> 00:21:49,193 not that you ever would have done it intentionally. 448 00:21:51,968 --> 00:21:53,442 Your steamy pipes can't stop us. 449 00:21:53,443 --> 00:21:57,265 Well, it would be a pretty bad museum exhibit if it could. 450 00:21:58,705 --> 00:22:00,014 Give it up, Lapari. 451 00:22:00,015 --> 00:22:01,914 Hey Dean, I have a microphone. 452 00:22:01,915 --> 00:22:02,994 You have a beer. 453 00:22:02,995 --> 00:22:03,995 God has a plan. 454 00:22:06,207 --> 00:22:07,036 I have a beer? 455 00:22:07,037 --> 00:22:09,124 It's an old stand up line for using up hecklers. 456 00:22:09,125 --> 00:22:10,125 Keep moving. 457 00:22:10,945 --> 00:22:11,945 Did you do stand up? 458 00:22:13,345 --> 00:22:14,745 Is that how you became a custodian? 459 00:22:15,975 --> 00:22:18,954 Listen man, I was there in the 90s. 460 00:22:18,955 --> 00:22:21,284 I did a few open mic nights. 461 00:22:21,285 --> 00:22:23,384 I saw what karaoke did. 462 00:22:23,385 --> 00:22:26,284 It wasn't cool man. 463 00:22:26,285 --> 00:22:29,401 We're not so different, you and I, Dean. 464 00:22:29,402 --> 00:22:32,153 Don't you see we're both in the same situation? 465 00:22:32,154 --> 00:22:35,283 Oh, you gotta be kidding me. 466 00:22:38,609 --> 00:22:39,449 Screw it. Shoot them all. 467 00:22:39,450 --> 00:22:40,350 One of them is him. 468 00:22:40,351 --> 00:22:41,351 Shoot every single one. 469 00:22:49,528 --> 00:22:50,107 He's not back here. 470 00:22:50,108 --> 00:22:51,054 Okay. 471 00:22:51,055 --> 00:22:51,721 Reload. 472 00:22:51,722 --> 00:22:55,355 Must be a mock jousting bridge over sawdust canyon. 473 00:22:56,655 --> 00:22:59,134 We're both dinosaurs roaring in vain at the mammals. 474 00:22:59,135 --> 00:23:02,434 What do you think was gonna happen when you let Frankie Dart 475 00:23:02,435 --> 00:23:04,284 into our world? 476 00:23:04,285 --> 00:23:07,964 How much more clean can she make the school before she notices 477 00:23:07,965 --> 00:23:09,365 the dirtiest thing of all about it. 478 00:23:11,025 --> 00:23:13,294 You think I'm a villain, but I'm not. 479 00:23:13,295 --> 00:23:17,624 I'm defending a place where we all get to be our own heroes. 480 00:23:17,625 --> 00:23:21,645 We're all here because none of us can have nice things. 481 00:23:21,646 --> 00:23:24,161 I thought you guys were mannequins! 482 00:23:24,162 --> 00:23:25,960 What a backfire! 483 00:23:25,961 --> 00:23:27,435 Is the money real? 484 00:23:28,665 --> 00:23:29,665 No mater who wins? 485 00:23:30,955 --> 00:23:31,955 Dean, what are you doing? 486 00:23:33,615 --> 00:23:35,194 What are you thinking about? 487 00:23:35,195 --> 00:23:36,194 I don't know, I don't know. 488 00:23:36,195 --> 00:23:37,894 He's right, Jeffrey. 489 00:23:37,895 --> 00:23:41,614 A cleaner Greendale is like a healthier cigarette. 490 00:23:41,615 --> 00:23:42,544 Yes, a carrot stick. 491 00:23:42,545 --> 00:23:44,154 Frankie can make us a carrot stick. 492 00:23:44,155 --> 00:23:45,344 We're tobacco. 493 00:23:45,345 --> 00:23:46,814 No, we are not tobacco. 494 00:23:46,815 --> 00:23:48,284 We are Robert Downey Jr, 495 00:23:48,285 --> 00:23:50,834 he was so high he was crawling into people's windows. 496 00:23:50,835 --> 00:23:51,842 Now he's Iron Man. 497 00:23:51,843 --> 00:23:55,604 We self destruct like this because we'd rather be heroes than villains than 498 00:23:55,605 --> 00:23:59,744 just kind of sucky people, that need to work a lot at getting less sucky. 499 00:23:59,745 --> 00:24:01,304 She will forgive us. 500 00:24:01,305 --> 00:24:05,364 I know her, I like her, and if she fires either of you, I'll quit. 501 00:24:05,365 --> 00:24:08,544 She's not the enemy, she can help us. 502 00:24:08,545 --> 00:24:09,545 We just have to cool it. 503 00:24:12,354 --> 00:24:14,756 It's true, what he said. 504 00:24:14,757 --> 00:24:19,337 If you guys lower your guns, I'm not gonna throw you a party, but 505 00:24:19,338 --> 00:24:22,354 I'm not going to get anyone fired either. 506 00:24:30,530 --> 00:24:32,992 I'll see you Monday, idiots. 507 00:24:34,816 --> 00:24:38,830 So who wins? 508 00:24:38,831 --> 00:24:39,619 What do we-. Okay, 509 00:24:39,620 --> 00:24:42,489 on the count of three we're gonna shoot ourselves in the foot. 510 00:24:46,610 --> 00:24:54,155 One, two. 511 00:24:54,156 --> 00:24:55,156 Ow. 512 00:25:04,780 --> 00:25:09,816 I'll see you guys on Monday. 513 00:25:09,817 --> 00:25:14,935 And the Pope looks at the giraffe and says I'm in the room. 514 00:25:14,936 --> 00:25:16,444 Sorry I can't remember the whole joke. 515 00:25:16,445 --> 00:25:19,644 That's okay it sounds very funny based on the last line. 516 00:25:19,645 --> 00:25:21,524 Frankie's gonna be here soon we should get ready. 517 00:25:21,525 --> 00:25:23,994 We're not seriously still doing this are we? 518 00:25:23,995 --> 00:25:27,065 We promised everyday for a week do we want her to quit? 519 00:25:29,995 --> 00:25:31,974 Good morning everyone. 520 00:25:31,975 --> 00:25:32,975 Wah. 521 00:25:34,985 --> 00:25:37,234 So, where did we leave off last time? 522 00:25:37,235 --> 00:25:38,235 Hm. Yes, sir. 523 00:25:39,785 --> 00:25:41,204 I like big trucks. 524 00:25:41,205 --> 00:25:42,734 I saw a fire truck today. 525 00:25:42,735 --> 00:25:43,424 Interesting point. 526 00:25:43,425 --> 00:25:44,564 Would anyone care to comment? 527 00:25:44,565 --> 00:25:45,364 Elroy? 528 00:25:45,365 --> 00:25:46,794 I made a stinky. 529 00:25:46,795 --> 00:25:47,864 Worth considering. 530 00:25:47,865 --> 00:25:48,674 Next item? 531 00:25:48,675 --> 00:25:50,124 How do you pronounce pasketti? 532 00:25:50,125 --> 00:25:50,774 Spaghetti. 533 00:25:50,775 --> 00:25:51,534 What else? 534 00:25:51,535 --> 00:25:52,494 Can we go to the zoo? 535 00:25:52,495 --> 00:25:54,424 Well, that raises a very important point. 536 00:25:54,425 --> 00:25:59,164 We can do anything we want if, and this is very important, if we grow up. 537 00:25:59,165 --> 00:26:00,184 All in favor? 538 00:26:00,185 --> 00:26:01,185 Wah. 539 00:26:04,191 --> 00:26:06,300 Then she starts singing about all the places she's been. 540 00:26:06,301 --> 00:26:08,380 Which, by the way, seems to be a total of two. 541 00:26:08,381 --> 00:26:11,308 One of which is old DC. 542 00:26:11,309 --> 00:26:13,133 Old DC. 543 00:26:13,134 --> 00:26:18,382 Okay fine, Vicki, you're a music major, not a history major. 544 00:26:18,383 --> 00:26:21,270 And the whole mother thing, I mean the two big feathers in her cap are that 545 00:26:21,271 --> 00:26:25,400 she hasn't let anything change her, a triumph she shared with most animals, 546 00:26:25,401 --> 00:26:29,320 and all dirt, and the fact that her mother died, 547 00:26:29,321 --> 00:26:33,420 which is like one thing all mother's do. 548 00:26:33,421 --> 00:26:34,193 I mean, was she a good mother? 549 00:26:34,194 --> 00:26:35,285 Did she collect stamps? 550 00:26:35,286 --> 00:26:36,213 Did she race cars? 551 00:26:36,214 --> 00:26:37,292 We don't know! 552 00:26:37,293 --> 00:26:41,151 We don't know her name, I think if you ask Vicki the color of her mother's 553 00:26:41,152 --> 00:26:42,595 eyes, she would say dead. 554 00:26:42,596 --> 00:26:46,770 Or, maybe she would say $7 a seat. 555 00:26:46,771 --> 00:26:48,270 It's bad man, I am telling you. 556 00:26:48,271 --> 00:26:51,011 Nobody is safe, nobody is safe. 557 00:26:52,221 --> 00:26:53,221 Blue. 558 00:27:01,345 --> 00:27:03,381 They were a very pale shade of blue. 559 00:27:06,116 --> 00:27:08,700 I'm sorry my show didn't honor her memory properly. 560 00:27:08,701 --> 00:27:10,831 I'll try to make it up to you. 561 00:27:13,013 --> 00:27:18,522 Actually we both will a, a, at the premier of our new show. 562 00:27:18,523 --> 00:27:24,552 Vicki and Garrett. 563 00:27:24,553 --> 00:27:26,160 Let's have a hand for Vicki's mother everybody. 564 00:27:26,161 --> 00:27:26,781 Stand up Connie. 565 00:27:26,782 --> 00:27:29,765 Vicki's mother, Vicki's mother! 566 00:27:29,766 --> 00:27:30,766 Boo! 567 00:27:32,831 --> 00:27:34,450 We'd rather you boo. 568 00:27:34,451 --> 00:27:36,330 It means you felt something. 569 00:27:36,331 --> 00:27:36,990 That's right. 570 00:27:36,991 --> 00:27:37,840 You can boo. 571 00:27:37,841 --> 00:27:39,705 And, Andy Kaufman loved booing. 572 00:27:39,706 --> 00:27:42,820 Mm-hm. 573 00:27:42,821 --> 00:27:46,146 Then again, we did put a fair share of work into this. 574 00:27:46,147 --> 00:27:47,482 Like, you don't have to be dicks. 575 00:28:22,576 --> 00:28:23,576 Did you get any of that?