﻿1
00:00:01,934 --> 00:00:05,033
*

2
00:00:08,601 --> 00:00:12,000
* you won't admit you love me *

3
00:00:12,000 --> 00:00:13,467
* and so *

4
00:00:13,467 --> 00:00:16,200
* how am i ever *

5
00:00:16,200 --> 00:00:18,067
* to know *

6
00:00:18,067 --> 00:00:20,501
* you always tell me *

7
00:00:20,501 --> 00:00:25,400
* perhaps, perhaps, perhaps *

8
00:00:25,400 --> 00:00:27,300
* perhaps *

9
00:00:27,300 --> 00:00:29,200
* perhaps *

10
00:00:29,200 --> 00:00:31,167
* perhaps *

11
00:00:43,100 --> 00:00:45,133
i don't know what it was
about him.

12
00:00:45,133 --> 00:00:47,167
He was with these
two other guys,

13
00:00:47,167 --> 00:00:51,601
but for some mysterious reason,
he really stood out.

14
00:00:51,601 --> 00:00:54,868
I think it must have been
something very deep
and spiritual.

15
00:00:58,234 --> 00:00:59,467
So, what did you do?

16
00:00:59,467 --> 00:01:02,834
Well, you know me.
I played it cool.

17
00:01:02,834 --> 00:01:04,467
Hello, I'm Jane.

18
00:01:04,467 --> 00:01:06,467
Hello.

19
00:01:06,467 --> 00:01:08,234
Um, excuse me.

20
00:01:08,234 --> 00:01:09,400
What?

21
00:01:09,400 --> 00:01:12,300
You're standing
right in front of me.

22
00:01:12,300 --> 00:01:13,567
Yes.

23
00:01:14,868 --> 00:01:16,234
I'm bill.

24
00:01:16,234 --> 00:01:17,701
Well, hello, bill.

25
00:01:17,701 --> 00:01:19,200
You know, i thought
you were a bill.

26
00:01:19,200 --> 00:01:20,501
It really suits you.

27
00:01:20,501 --> 00:01:22,968
It's one of the names
i would have picked for you.

28
00:01:22,968 --> 00:01:25,934
Oh, I'm really interested
in the science of names.

29
00:01:25,934 --> 00:01:28,968
Well, this is Walter
and Harry.

30
00:01:28,968 --> 00:01:29,968
Fine.

31
00:01:29,968 --> 00:01:32,000
I'm Harry,
he's Walter.

32
00:01:32,000 --> 00:01:34,534
Either way.

33
00:01:35,868 --> 00:01:36,968
Sally, please!

34
00:01:36,968 --> 00:01:38,601
I said no.

35
00:01:38,601 --> 00:01:40,167
Did i miss anything?

36
00:01:40,167 --> 00:01:42,033
Lust at first sight,
contact established.

37
00:01:42,033 --> 00:01:44,067
It's just one night.
Come on, why not?

38
00:01:44,067 --> 00:01:45,634
Shh!
I want to hear this.

39
00:01:45,634 --> 00:01:47,033
So, how did it go?

40
00:01:47,033 --> 00:01:50,234
Well, there we were,
just the two of us.

41
00:01:50,234 --> 00:01:52,434
You're a scorpio,
aren't you?

42
00:01:52,434 --> 00:01:54,901
I can always spot scorpios.
It's something i sense.

43
00:01:54,901 --> 00:01:56,501
I'm not a scorpio.

44
00:01:56,501 --> 00:01:59,434
I'm a scorpio.
Maybe you were sensing me.

45
00:01:59,434 --> 00:02:01,167
No.

46
00:02:01,167 --> 00:02:02,334
Sagittarius?

47
00:02:02,334 --> 00:02:04,267
Sorry.
Not sagittarius, either.

48
00:02:04,267 --> 00:02:05,501
Now isn't this strange?

49
00:02:05,501 --> 00:02:07,200
I'm normally really good
at this.

50
00:02:07,200 --> 00:02:09,334
I'm very attuned
to astrology.

51
00:02:09,334 --> 00:02:12,634
It's one of the most
interesting things about me.

52
00:02:12,634 --> 00:02:15,067
I-i-I've written
some articles about astrology.

53
00:02:15,067 --> 00:02:16,901
That's true.
Harry's the expert.

54
00:02:16,901 --> 00:02:18,934
I don't know that
I'm actually a believer,

55
00:02:18,934 --> 00:02:20,734
but i do think
astrology represents centuries

56
00:02:20,734 --> 00:02:22,567
of accumulated understanding
of different personality types.

57
00:02:22,567 --> 00:02:24,367
When-when you say
that you're attuned,

58
00:02:24,367 --> 00:02:26,133
maybe that's what
you were attuned to.

59
00:02:26,133 --> 00:02:28,667
I'm giving a talk about this
subject on Wednesday night.

60
00:02:28,667 --> 00:02:30,234
Perhaps you'd
like to come along?

61
00:02:30,234 --> 00:02:32,567
No.

62
00:02:32,567 --> 00:02:34,000
Capricorn?

63
00:02:34,000 --> 00:02:36,300
Sorry,
not a capricorn.

64
00:02:36,300 --> 00:02:37,534
I'm so sorry.

65
00:02:37,534 --> 00:02:40,300
May i just apologize
from the very depths of my being

66
00:02:40,300 --> 00:02:42,167
for thinking you would
have the slightest interest

67
00:02:42,167 --> 00:02:43,601
in anything i had to say.

68
00:02:43,601 --> 00:02:46,234
Don't be silly.
It was an honest mistake.

69
00:02:46,234 --> 00:02:47,267
Leo.

70
00:02:47,267 --> 00:02:48,534
Hey...

71
00:02:48,534 --> 00:02:50,968
What you've got
to understand
about Harry,

72
00:02:50,968 --> 00:02:52,634
he's just had
a big breakup.

73
00:02:52,634 --> 00:02:54,501
His self-esteem
is not exactly peaking.

74
00:02:54,501 --> 00:02:57,467
I think turning down
his lecture may have been
the last straw.

75
00:02:57,467 --> 00:02:59,834
Harry...
Here's a little exercise

76
00:02:59,834 --> 00:03:02,434
i think might help you
confront your problems.

77
00:03:02,434 --> 00:03:05,267
If you go home tonight,
sit in front of the mirror

78
00:03:05,267 --> 00:03:07,100
and really, really look
at yourself,

79
00:03:07,100 --> 00:03:08,868
you might be
a bit more realistic

80
00:03:08,868 --> 00:03:12,400
about which women
you ask out in future.

81
00:03:12,400 --> 00:03:14,434
Well, that's it.

82
00:03:14,434 --> 00:03:16,767
Harry.
I was being
sympathetic.

83
00:03:16,767 --> 00:03:18,267
I was, you saw me.

84
00:03:18,267 --> 00:03:20,133
No disrespect,
but i don't think you're capable

85
00:03:20,133 --> 00:03:21,501
of sympathy for someone
like me.

86
00:03:21,501 --> 00:03:24,067
I cried
at the elephant man.

87
00:03:25,868 --> 00:03:27,701
I'm off. Good night.

88
00:03:30,434 --> 00:03:32,601
You'd better go after him,
Walter.

89
00:03:32,601 --> 00:03:34,367
You understand
what he's going through.

90
00:03:36,834 --> 00:03:38,834
So, come on.
How far did you get?

91
00:03:38,834 --> 00:03:41,601
Well, after we left the bar

92
00:03:41,601 --> 00:03:43,133
i was about to head off,

93
00:03:43,133 --> 00:03:45,400
because we were going
in different directions.

94
00:03:45,400 --> 00:03:47,033
It's always Scary
when you see

95
00:03:47,033 --> 00:03:48,834
that final
corner approaching,
isn't it?

96
00:03:48,834 --> 00:03:49,901
And you're thinking,

97
00:03:49,901 --> 00:03:51,667
"did i touch his thigh
often enough?

98
00:03:51,667 --> 00:03:53,634
"Did i stare at his mouth
long enough?

99
00:03:53,634 --> 00:03:55,400
Did i flick my hair
too much?"

100
00:03:55,400 --> 00:03:56,734
Flick your hair?

101
00:03:56,734 --> 00:03:58,667
Yeah, i used to
over-flick.

102
00:03:58,667 --> 00:04:00,501
It's so easy
to cross the line

103
00:04:00,501 --> 00:04:02,934
between suggesting
"flirtatious and approachable,"

104
00:04:02,934 --> 00:04:05,367
and suggesting there's something
living in your ear.

105
00:04:05,367 --> 00:04:07,234
You don't want to give
the impression

106
00:04:07,234 --> 00:04:08,968
you acquire vermin
when aroused.

107
00:04:10,234 --> 00:04:11,400
Tonight's hot tip.

108
00:04:11,400 --> 00:04:13,701
This is great.
This is so much more detail

109
00:04:13,701 --> 00:04:15,033
than we ever get into.

110
00:04:15,033 --> 00:04:17,267
It's like a whole pit stop
for women.

111
00:04:17,267 --> 00:04:19,200
Patrick,
why are you here?

112
00:04:19,200 --> 00:04:21,667
He needs a pretend-wife.
Just for tonight.

113
00:04:21,667 --> 00:04:23,634
What?
It's a long story.

114
00:04:23,634 --> 00:04:24,834
Who cares?
Details, Jane.

115
00:04:24,834 --> 00:04:27,400
Okay. We were walking
along and then--

116
00:04:27,400 --> 00:04:31,300
don't ask me how
it happened--

117
00:04:31,300 --> 00:04:33,467
but suddenly,
out of nowhere,

118
00:04:33,467 --> 00:04:36,634
we were in
each other's arms.

119
00:04:45,567 --> 00:04:47,734
You look totally amazed.

120
00:04:47,734 --> 00:04:52,033
Hard to tell if it's the kiss
or the impact of the wall.

121
00:04:52,033 --> 00:04:55,634
Oh, that's so sweet.

122
00:04:58,100 --> 00:04:59,234
What are you doing?

123
00:04:59,234 --> 00:05:01,133
What's wrong?

124
00:05:01,133 --> 00:05:03,267
Well, you were a bit
horrible to my friends.

125
00:05:03,267 --> 00:05:06,000
Oh.
Of course i wasn't.

126
00:05:07,601 --> 00:05:08,868
Jane, no!

127
00:05:08,868 --> 00:05:10,534
Oh, bill.

128
00:05:10,534 --> 00:05:13,234
Do you want to do something
completely wicked, huh?

129
00:05:13,234 --> 00:05:16,901
Doesn't it excite you,
the idea of getting caught?

130
00:05:16,901 --> 00:05:19,434
Come on, bill,
i can tell you're excited.

131
00:05:19,434 --> 00:05:22,567
And anyway,
Walter can keep watch.

132
00:05:25,100 --> 00:05:27,200
Actually, do you mind
if i just go?

133
00:05:27,200 --> 00:05:28,868
No, no.

134
00:05:28,868 --> 00:05:30,667
I'll see you
in a minute, okay?

135
00:05:30,667 --> 00:05:32,634
Yeah, sure.

136
00:05:32,634 --> 00:05:34,634
A minute?

137
00:05:34,634 --> 00:05:36,467
Walter's
a really good guy, Jane.

138
00:05:36,467 --> 00:05:38,567
Oh, he's great.

139
00:05:38,567 --> 00:05:40,434
You'd hardly know
he was there.

140
00:05:40,434 --> 00:05:43,767
Listen, I'd really like
to see you again.

141
00:05:43,767 --> 00:05:44,868
Good.

142
00:05:44,868 --> 00:05:46,934
But for now...

143
00:05:46,934 --> 00:05:48,701
I'm going to check
if Walter's okay.

144
00:05:49,834 --> 00:05:50,901
Oh.

145
00:05:52,267 --> 00:05:53,801
I'll call you.

146
00:05:53,801 --> 00:05:57,033
Yes. Right.

147
00:06:00,400 --> 00:06:02,667
You do know where to find
my phone number?

148
00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:05,000
My right thigh.

149
00:06:06,734 --> 00:06:08,300
Hope i didn't
smudge it.

150
00:06:09,400 --> 00:06:10,534
See ya.

151
00:06:15,267 --> 00:06:16,701
Jane?

152
00:06:16,701 --> 00:06:19,000
Dinner tomorrow night,
my place?

153
00:06:19,000 --> 00:06:20,968
Your place?

154
00:06:20,968 --> 00:06:22,167
I'm a great cook.

155
00:06:22,167 --> 00:06:25,400
I'll help.
I'm a great dessert.

156
00:06:27,801 --> 00:06:30,234
So that's nice,
gorgeous, and can cook?

157
00:06:30,234 --> 00:06:32,234
So rare to find someone
like that

158
00:06:32,234 --> 00:06:34,801
who doesn't have,
you know, breasts.

159
00:06:35,801 --> 00:06:37,467
So what's your plan
of attack now?

160
00:06:37,467 --> 00:06:39,734
You're gonna be
at his door in an hour.

161
00:06:39,734 --> 00:06:41,501
It's all down
to the dress now.

162
00:06:41,501 --> 00:06:43,701
Yeah.
The dress is the clincher.

163
00:06:43,701 --> 00:06:45,667
Sorry, am i in
a dress conversation?

164
00:06:45,667 --> 00:06:47,734
I can't be
in a dress conversation.

165
00:06:47,734 --> 00:06:49,567
The moment you take
your coat off

166
00:06:49,567 --> 00:06:51,133
and he sees
what you're wearing,

167
00:06:51,133 --> 00:06:52,767
that's when
it's all decided.

168
00:06:52,767 --> 00:06:53,934
So what did you choose?

169
00:06:53,934 --> 00:06:55,701
I've got so many,
that's the trouble.

170
00:06:55,701 --> 00:06:57,667
Took me all day
to narrow it down

171
00:06:57,667 --> 00:06:58,701
to the main contenders.

172
00:06:58,701 --> 00:07:00,167
Oh, God.

173
00:07:01,667 --> 00:07:02,667
Which were?

174
00:07:02,667 --> 00:07:04,334
Well...

175
00:07:04,334 --> 00:07:05,434
( rings )

176
00:07:09,667 --> 00:07:10,667
hi.

177
00:07:11,667 --> 00:07:12,701
Hi.

178
00:07:12,701 --> 00:07:16,067
Dress one--Black
and sort of see-through.

179
00:07:16,067 --> 00:07:17,434
<i> Ort of</i> see-through.

180
00:07:17,434 --> 00:07:18,667
It's quite subtle.

181
00:07:18,667 --> 00:07:20,634
You can't really tell
what you're looking at.

182
00:07:20,634 --> 00:07:21,868
It's a dress that says,

183
00:07:21,868 --> 00:07:24,934
"hello, boys.
Next time bring a torch."

184
00:07:27,067 --> 00:07:28,767
Does a torch work
on dresses?

185
00:07:28,767 --> 00:07:29,901
Patrick!

186
00:07:31,167 --> 00:07:32,400
And dress two?

187
00:07:32,400 --> 00:07:33,634
Come in.

188
00:07:35,234 --> 00:07:36,701
Thank you.

189
00:07:36,701 --> 00:07:41,601
Dress two is the absolute peak
of my "skimpy" collection.

190
00:07:43,200 --> 00:07:45,467
I <i>love</i> dress two.

191
00:07:45,467 --> 00:07:47,067
Every time you inhale,

192
00:07:47,067 --> 00:07:49,200
you can see
the hope in their eyes.

193
00:07:49,200 --> 00:07:51,801
That's the one.
Definitely.

194
00:07:51,801 --> 00:07:52,901
Patrick.

195
00:07:52,901 --> 00:07:54,000
What's dress three?

196
00:07:54,000 --> 00:07:55,534
There is no dress three.

197
00:07:55,534 --> 00:07:57,234
It's dress two then.
It's got to be.

198
00:07:57,234 --> 00:07:59,334
Dress one.
Always go for subtlety.

199
00:07:59,334 --> 00:08:02,234
So, come on.
Time for the grand unveiling.

200
00:08:03,300 --> 00:08:06,067
Which one did you choose?

201
00:08:06,067 --> 00:08:07,968
Dress three.

202
00:08:14,234 --> 00:08:15,501
Nice.

203
00:08:15,501 --> 00:08:16,968
You look great.

204
00:08:17,968 --> 00:08:19,400
So do you.

205
00:08:19,400 --> 00:08:21,200
You said there was
no dress three.

206
00:08:22,434 --> 00:08:23,534
There isn't.

207
00:08:26,901 --> 00:08:28,667
You've got nothing on
under your coat?

208
00:08:30,400 --> 00:08:31,567
Don't wait up.

209
00:08:37,934 --> 00:08:42,567
Is there somewhere
i can leave my coat?

210
00:08:42,567 --> 00:08:44,267
What?
Oh, yes, my bedroom.

211
00:08:44,267 --> 00:08:46,467
Your bedroom.

212
00:08:46,467 --> 00:08:49,634
Yeah, everyone's just piled
their coats on the bed.

213
00:08:50,767 --> 00:08:51,934
Everyone?

214
00:08:53,400 --> 00:08:54,601
I'll introduce you.

215
00:08:58,501 --> 00:09:01,167
Everyone,
this is Jane.

216
00:09:01,167 --> 00:09:03,834
Hello.
Hi, Jane.

217
00:09:03,834 --> 00:09:05,934
( weakly )
hello, everyone.

218
00:09:05,934 --> 00:09:07,767
Listen,
bit of a kitchen crisis.

219
00:09:07,767 --> 00:09:10,200
Can i let you
just dive in and say hi?

220
00:09:10,200 --> 00:09:11,767
Oh, Harry?

221
00:09:11,767 --> 00:09:14,067
Yeah?
Could you take
Jane's coat?

222
00:09:16,000 --> 00:09:17,601
A pretend-wife?

223
00:09:18,734 --> 00:09:19,734
A torch?

224
00:09:21,701 --> 00:09:22,701
Apparently.

225
00:09:22,701 --> 00:09:24,701
Torches work on dresses?

226
00:09:26,434 --> 00:09:28,734
So what do you need
a pretend-wife for?

227
00:09:28,734 --> 00:09:30,634
It's to do with some bloke
at his office.

228
00:09:30,634 --> 00:09:32,701
No, no, no.
Different office,
different firm.

229
00:09:32,701 --> 00:09:35,200
This guy, <i>Ivan...</i>

230
00:09:36,567 --> 00:09:38,367
I see him at conferences
and stuff.

231
00:09:38,367 --> 00:09:40,667
He's the same level as me,
but we're always competing.

232
00:09:40,667 --> 00:09:42,734
Cars, office size,
toilet breaks.

233
00:09:44,434 --> 00:09:45,834
"Toilet breaks"?

234
00:09:45,834 --> 00:09:49,701
I can retain for seven more
hours than he can.

235
00:09:51,968 --> 00:09:54,167
You really used to go out
with this guy?

236
00:09:54,167 --> 00:09:55,400
No idea.

237
00:09:55,400 --> 00:09:57,601
You've erased all other men
from my memory.

238
00:09:58,601 --> 00:09:59,968
Must have taken a while.

239
00:10:06,601 --> 00:10:08,133
Anyway,
Ivan is always going on

240
00:10:08,133 --> 00:10:11,334
about this really gorgeous woman
he's married.

241
00:10:11,334 --> 00:10:12,467
One day i cracked.

242
00:10:12,467 --> 00:10:14,434
So you invented
a whole marriage?

243
00:10:14,434 --> 00:10:15,901
What, competitively?

244
00:10:15,901 --> 00:10:17,267
What choice
did i have?

245
00:10:17,267 --> 00:10:19,467
I'm 33, single,
with neat hair.

246
00:10:19,467 --> 00:10:20,868
Even <i>i</i> think I'm gay.

247
00:10:23,167 --> 00:10:25,701
The point is, I'm meeting
Ivan for a drink tonight,

248
00:10:25,701 --> 00:10:27,501
and, oh!
He's bringing his wife.

249
00:10:27,501 --> 00:10:28,801
Now that's competitive.

250
00:10:28,801 --> 00:10:30,934
So i can't turn up
without a wife.

251
00:10:30,934 --> 00:10:32,968
How would that look?
It would be like

252
00:10:32,968 --> 00:10:35,834
turning up at the golf club
without a car.

253
00:10:35,834 --> 00:10:37,934
You know what's great
about skirts?

254
00:10:39,968 --> 00:10:42,901
When a woman's wearing a skirt,
you know--

255
00:10:42,901 --> 00:10:44,734
<i>you know</i> that,
somewhere in that room,

256
00:10:44,734 --> 00:10:47,934
shifting all the time,
there is the v.a.a.--

257
00:10:47,934 --> 00:10:50,067
the visual access angle.

258
00:10:51,634 --> 00:10:55,467
A clear line of sight
right to base camp.

259
00:10:55,467 --> 00:10:58,000
You just have to
switch chairs, right,

260
00:10:58,000 --> 00:10:59,868
or maybe move
your head a bit.

261
00:10:59,868 --> 00:11:01,767
Or accidentally fall
on the floor.

262
00:11:01,767 --> 00:11:04,334
And there'll be nothing
but clear air between you

263
00:11:04,334 --> 00:11:06,367
and intimate sighting
number one.

264
00:11:12,367 --> 00:11:14,400
Sorry. I was just thinking
about skirts.

265
00:11:16,067 --> 00:11:18,067
So why didn't you
just bring your secretary?

266
00:11:18,067 --> 00:11:19,334
Oh, how would that work?

267
00:11:19,334 --> 00:11:21,400
I'd have to bandage up
her face or something.

268
00:11:23,467 --> 00:11:25,200
You mean,
he'd recognize her?

269
00:11:25,200 --> 00:11:26,200
No.

270
00:11:28,267 --> 00:11:30,601
Bartender: Is there
a Steve Taylor in this bar?

271
00:11:30,601 --> 00:11:32,667
There's a phone call
for Steve Taylor.

272
00:11:32,667 --> 00:11:34,501
Here.

273
00:11:34,501 --> 00:11:36,067
Okay.

274
00:11:36,067 --> 00:11:37,067
What?

275
00:11:37,067 --> 00:11:38,100
I'll do it.

276
00:11:38,100 --> 00:11:39,501
Oh, great.

277
00:11:39,501 --> 00:11:41,634
You know what?

278
00:11:41,634 --> 00:11:43,467
I want to meet Ivan.

279
00:11:45,801 --> 00:11:46,868
Hello?

280
00:11:46,868 --> 00:11:48,701
Steve, I've gone
to a dinner party,

281
00:11:48,701 --> 00:11:50,501
and I'm accidentally naked.

282
00:11:51,868 --> 00:11:52,868
I-I'm sorry?

283
00:11:52,868 --> 00:11:54,601
This guy's invited me
for dinner

284
00:11:54,601 --> 00:11:56,868
and i didn't think
there'd be anyone else here.

285
00:11:56,868 --> 00:11:59,634
Steve, I'm completely naked
under my coat.

286
00:12:01,033 --> 00:12:03,167
What's wrong?
It's Jane.

287
00:12:03,167 --> 00:12:05,634
She's stuck naked
in someone else's flat.

288
00:12:05,634 --> 00:12:06,634
Naked?

289
00:12:06,634 --> 00:12:07,667
Completely!

290
00:12:07,667 --> 00:12:09,267
She's only got her coat.

291
00:12:09,267 --> 00:12:11,334
Can i speak to her?
Yeah.

292
00:12:12,634 --> 00:12:14,300
Hi, Jane.
It's Jeff.

293
00:12:14,300 --> 00:12:15,601
Hi, Jeff.

294
00:12:17,100 --> 00:12:18,267
Thanks.

295
00:12:20,267 --> 00:12:21,267
Jeff?

296
00:12:21,267 --> 00:12:23,667
Uh, he's just gone
to the loo.

297
00:12:24,734 --> 00:12:26,400
Might be some time.

298
00:12:26,400 --> 00:12:28,234
What am i gonna do?

299
00:12:28,234 --> 00:12:30,367
What happens
if i take off my coat?

300
00:12:30,367 --> 00:12:32,234
I really like this guy.

301
00:12:32,234 --> 00:12:35,934
Well, he'll certainly get
that impression.

302
00:12:35,934 --> 00:12:37,567
Not helpful, Steve.

303
00:12:37,567 --> 00:12:39,334
Well,
why are you phoning me?

304
00:12:39,334 --> 00:12:42,100
I tried the girls.
Their mobiles are off.

305
00:12:42,100 --> 00:12:44,767
You can't phone me
when you're naked.
You're an ex.

306
00:12:44,767 --> 00:12:46,400
So?!

307
00:12:46,400 --> 00:12:47,834
Well, Susan's here.

308
00:12:47,834 --> 00:12:50,567
What if she comes over
and finds out you're naked?

309
00:12:50,567 --> 00:12:51,634
Susan's paranoid about you.

310
00:12:51,634 --> 00:12:54,067
No, Steve.
She's paranoid about you.

311
00:12:54,067 --> 00:12:56,868
Look, I'm in the middle
of a serious crisis here.

312
00:12:56,868 --> 00:12:59,534
I don't have time to discuss
your relationship problems.

313
00:12:59,534 --> 00:13:02,300
What "relationship problems"?

314
00:13:02,300 --> 00:13:05,033
We don't have any
"relationship problems."

315
00:13:05,033 --> 00:13:06,534
Have you proposed yet?

316
00:13:07,868 --> 00:13:09,400
We have an understanding.

317
00:13:09,400 --> 00:13:11,868
Okay, there's your problem.

318
00:13:11,868 --> 00:13:15,400
Steve, I'm naked
and surrounded by strangers!

319
00:13:15,400 --> 00:13:17,701
What's wrong
with having an understanding?

320
00:13:17,701 --> 00:13:19,667
Oh, for Christ's sake!

321
00:13:21,601 --> 00:13:23,067
Are you all right, mate?

322
00:13:28,100 --> 00:13:29,501
Ivan, hi.

323
00:13:29,501 --> 00:13:30,734
Patrick. One minute--

324
00:13:30,734 --> 00:13:32,567
just checking
I've got the right place.

325
00:13:32,567 --> 00:13:34,367
Excellent.
Massive.

326
00:13:37,467 --> 00:13:38,467
Okay, she's coming.

327
00:13:38,467 --> 00:13:40,567
Right. What have you
told Ivan about me?

328
00:13:40,567 --> 00:13:42,901
You won a beauty contest
when you were 17,

329
00:13:42,901 --> 00:13:45,033
you worked as
an airline stewardess, a nurse,

330
00:13:45,033 --> 00:13:46,234
and a catalogue model.

331
00:13:46,234 --> 00:13:50,234
Your bra size is 38-d,
and your hobby is massage.

332
00:13:50,234 --> 00:13:52,534
Oh, and if it comes up,
you're completely shaved.

333
00:13:57,667 --> 00:13:58,701
Okay.

334
00:13:58,701 --> 00:13:59,901
What's my name?

335
00:13:59,901 --> 00:14:02,100
Well, just choose
any one you like.

336
00:14:03,200 --> 00:14:04,734
I can't believe
you're doing this.

337
00:14:04,734 --> 00:14:07,000
Patrick.
Ivan.

338
00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:08,834
Nice place,
like this a lot.

339
00:14:08,834 --> 00:14:10,300
Great.

340
00:14:10,300 --> 00:14:13,434
Oh, and this is my wife,
Miranda.

341
00:14:16,801 --> 00:14:19,133
And you must be Patrick.

342
00:14:19,133 --> 00:14:21,133
Hello. Heard loads.

343
00:14:27,067 --> 00:14:28,367
Um...hello.

344
00:14:28,367 --> 00:14:29,834
Hello.

345
00:14:30,834 --> 00:14:31,901
Sorry. And, uh--

346
00:14:31,901 --> 00:14:33,434
( clears throat )

347
00:14:33,434 --> 00:14:34,834
this is my wife...

348
00:14:34,834 --> 00:14:36,200
Susan.

349
00:14:40,200 --> 00:14:42,767
It is good to meet you
at last.

350
00:14:44,334 --> 00:14:45,767
Uh, no.
Hang on, you see--

351
00:14:45,767 --> 00:14:47,300
yeah, that's my wife,
all right.

352
00:14:47,300 --> 00:14:48,300
Aren't you, darling?

353
00:14:51,868 --> 00:14:52,868
No actually, listen--

354
00:14:52,868 --> 00:14:54,400
do you know,

355
00:14:54,400 --> 00:14:56,667
you're exactly as i was
expecting.

356
00:14:56,667 --> 00:14:58,501
No, you see,
the thing--

357
00:14:58,501 --> 00:15:00,000
sorry, what do you mean?

358
00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:03,200
Well, silly old Ivan here
thought you were going to be

359
00:15:03,200 --> 00:15:05,167
some kind of sex bomb.

360
00:15:05,167 --> 00:15:06,667
( both laughing )

361
00:15:06,667 --> 00:15:08,767
look what he's got
me wearing.

362
00:15:08,767 --> 00:15:10,067
But here you are.

363
00:15:11,167 --> 00:15:13,300
I mean, you're just so sweet,
aren't you?

364
00:15:13,300 --> 00:15:16,000
"I wish i can do sweet,"
I'm always saying.

365
00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:17,334
Aren't i, dear?

366
00:15:20,133 --> 00:15:22,033
What a pity.

367
00:15:22,033 --> 00:15:23,267
I'm sorry?

368
00:15:23,267 --> 00:15:26,133
Didn't you want
a ring on your finger?

369
00:15:26,133 --> 00:15:29,868
Are you one of those girls
who finds that too committing?

370
00:15:29,868 --> 00:15:32,868
Personally,
i think my commitment rings

371
00:15:32,868 --> 00:15:35,100
are deeply erotic.

372
00:15:39,067 --> 00:15:40,934
Not as erotic as mine.

373
00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:53,400
( laughing )

374
00:15:53,400 --> 00:15:54,701
i didn't marry her.

375
00:15:59,100 --> 00:16:01,467
I won't go down
without a fight.

376
00:16:01,467 --> 00:16:04,200
Well,
that will be why, then.

377
00:16:08,567 --> 00:16:10,601
I better just go
and, um, you know.

378
00:16:10,601 --> 00:16:12,767
Yeah.

379
00:16:12,767 --> 00:16:15,334
I didn't know he had a blonde.
I needed a blonde.

380
00:16:15,334 --> 00:16:17,234
You were my first choice
for pretend-wife,

381
00:16:17,234 --> 00:16:18,501
you're just not blonde enough.

382
00:16:18,501 --> 00:16:20,334
Do you think
i want everyone to think

383
00:16:20,334 --> 00:16:21,767
I'm some mad, lonely,
desperate woman?

384
00:16:21,767 --> 00:16:23,834
Of course you don't.
It's just bad luck.

385
00:16:26,567 --> 00:16:27,934
"I didn't marry her."

386
00:16:27,934 --> 00:16:29,968
How do you think
that makes me look?

387
00:16:29,968 --> 00:16:31,267
I had to say something.
You slapped me!

388
00:16:31,267 --> 00:16:33,167
Twice.
Once.

389
00:16:36,067 --> 00:16:37,267
Don't argue.

390
00:16:40,267 --> 00:16:42,667
What is wrong
with having an "understanding"?

391
00:16:42,667 --> 00:16:44,067
Well,
have you actually told her

392
00:16:44,067 --> 00:16:45,234
that you're gonna marry her?

393
00:16:45,234 --> 00:16:47,033
In my own way.

394
00:16:47,033 --> 00:16:49,234
Your "own way"?

395
00:16:49,234 --> 00:16:51,834
Well, she accidentally overheard
me saying it on the phone

396
00:16:51,834 --> 00:16:54,367
when i thought i was talking
to my ex-girlfriend.

397
00:16:56,534 --> 00:16:59,000
No offense, and of course
it's none of my business,

398
00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:01,434
but that could be the worst
proposal in human history.

399
00:17:01,434 --> 00:17:02,534
Steve.

400
00:17:02,534 --> 00:17:04,367
You're gonna have to be
my husband.

401
00:17:04,367 --> 00:17:06,000
Patrick prefers blondes.

402
00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:07,400
I love this bar.

403
00:17:08,400 --> 00:17:09,834
I'm sorry?

404
00:17:09,834 --> 00:17:12,501
Patrick chose Susan
for his pretend-wife.

405
00:17:12,501 --> 00:17:14,167
I need an emergency
pretend-husband.

406
00:17:14,167 --> 00:17:15,300
You'll have to do.

407
00:17:17,033 --> 00:17:19,200
He can't have Susan
for his pretend-wife.

408
00:17:19,200 --> 00:17:20,968
She's my almost-fiancã©e.

409
00:17:20,968 --> 00:17:22,901
You still haven't proposed?

410
00:17:23,901 --> 00:17:25,601
We have an understanding!

411
00:17:26,767 --> 00:17:28,534
Yeah, right.
An understanding.

412
00:17:28,534 --> 00:17:30,567
I don't want to be
your pretend-husband.

413
00:17:30,567 --> 00:17:31,801
I don't want you either,

414
00:17:31,801 --> 00:17:33,701
but there's absolutely
nobody else available.

415
00:17:36,367 --> 00:17:37,901
It has to be you,
Steve.

416
00:17:40,167 --> 00:17:41,901
Are you sure
i can't take your coat?

417
00:17:41,901 --> 00:17:43,901
Oh, buy a magazine!

418
00:17:46,801 --> 00:17:47,801
What?

419
00:17:47,801 --> 00:17:50,300
Sorry, nothing.

420
00:17:50,300 --> 00:17:52,334
You know, you're
extremely difficult to talk to.

421
00:17:52,334 --> 00:17:54,467
Well, stop trying
to undress me, then.

422
00:17:55,567 --> 00:17:57,767
Sorry.
I'm sorry again.

423
00:17:57,767 --> 00:18:00,334
You seem very uncomfortable.
Is there a problem?

424
00:18:00,334 --> 00:18:03,267
No, no.
No problem.

425
00:18:04,334 --> 00:18:05,968
So it's just that
you're stuck talking

426
00:18:05,968 --> 00:18:08,000
to the least attractive guy
you've ever seen.

427
00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:10,133
Yeah, that's all it is.

428
00:18:13,767 --> 00:18:17,234
Yeah. Well, I'll save you
any further discomfort, then.

429
00:18:17,234 --> 00:18:18,367
For the record,

430
00:18:18,367 --> 00:18:20,400
i have absolutely no interest
in undressing you,

431
00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:22,434
and believe it or not,
I've spent absolutely

432
00:18:22,434 --> 00:18:24,400
no time whatsoever
imagining you naked.

433
00:18:25,667 --> 00:18:28,701
Well actually, that is a bit
unbelievable, isn't it?

434
00:18:38,501 --> 00:18:39,534
Jane.

435
00:18:39,534 --> 00:18:41,767
You're not leaving,
are you?

436
00:18:42,801 --> 00:18:43,968
Leaving?

437
00:18:43,968 --> 00:18:45,767
Why would you think
i was leaving?

438
00:18:45,767 --> 00:18:48,434
You've got your coat on
and you're opening the door.

439
00:18:48,434 --> 00:18:52,033
Well, hello,
mr. Jump-to-conclusions.

440
00:18:52,033 --> 00:18:54,767
Listen, i was just worrying
about something.

441
00:18:54,767 --> 00:18:56,300
When i invited you to dinner,

442
00:18:56,300 --> 00:18:59,534
you didn't think it would be
just the two of us, did you?

443
00:18:59,534 --> 00:19:01,200
No, no. Not at all.

444
00:19:01,200 --> 00:19:03,534
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

445
00:19:03,534 --> 00:19:06,501
Just the two of us?
I never thought that. Not me.

446
00:19:06,501 --> 00:19:09,467
What a laugh!

447
00:19:09,467 --> 00:19:12,234
It's just that i like
to take things kind of slowly.

448
00:19:12,234 --> 00:19:14,167
Slow? So do i.
That's great.

449
00:19:14,167 --> 00:19:15,968
Yeah, give me
some of that slow.

450
00:19:15,968 --> 00:19:18,300
And i just thought
you might be slipping out

451
00:19:18,300 --> 00:19:19,567
because you were disappointed.

452
00:19:19,567 --> 00:19:22,067
No, no.
Not at all.

453
00:19:22,067 --> 00:19:25,801
What a crazy, mad, insane,
demented...sick idea.

454
00:19:27,934 --> 00:19:28,934
Please stay.

455
00:19:28,934 --> 00:19:30,167
Okay.

456
00:19:31,868 --> 00:19:33,868
Oh, what are you doing?

457
00:19:33,868 --> 00:19:36,133
I thought you might
like to take off your coat.

458
00:19:36,133 --> 00:19:37,467
My coat?

459
00:19:37,467 --> 00:19:40,767
What happened
to taking things slowly?

460
00:19:40,767 --> 00:19:42,667
I'm sorry?

461
00:19:42,667 --> 00:19:47,267
It's our first date.
Let's not go coat-crazy!

462
00:19:47,267 --> 00:19:48,400
What?!

463
00:19:48,400 --> 00:19:49,934
Where's your bathroom?
My bathroom?

464
00:19:49,934 --> 00:19:51,200
Is this it?

465
00:19:51,200 --> 00:19:54,000
I just want to pop
to your bathroom for a minute.

466
00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:56,601
Just to freshen up,
nothing horrid.

467
00:20:08,667 --> 00:20:09,901
Oh!

468
00:20:09,901 --> 00:20:10,901
Hello.

469
00:20:10,901 --> 00:20:12,734
Hello.

470
00:20:12,734 --> 00:20:14,234
I'm Emily.

471
00:20:14,234 --> 00:20:18,100
Hello, Emily.
Are you in the next flat?

472
00:20:18,100 --> 00:20:19,300
No.
Oh.

473
00:20:19,300 --> 00:20:20,434
You are.

474
00:20:20,434 --> 00:20:23,767
Oh, right.
Right.

475
00:20:23,767 --> 00:20:25,567
Emily...

476
00:20:25,567 --> 00:20:28,834
Does your mother have
any nice dresses?

477
00:20:28,834 --> 00:20:31,567
( Patrick laughing )

478
00:20:31,567 --> 00:20:33,834
that's the thing
about marriage, isn't it?

479
00:20:33,834 --> 00:20:35,400
It's about sacrifice.

480
00:20:35,400 --> 00:20:37,834
Yes, absolutely.
Sacrifice.

481
00:20:37,834 --> 00:20:41,033
Yeah, i agree with you totally.
One hundred percent sacrifice.

482
00:20:41,033 --> 00:20:42,367
A hundred and ten percent.

483
00:20:42,367 --> 00:20:43,434
A hundred and fifteen.

484
00:20:46,300 --> 00:20:49,100
I sacrificed so much
to be with Ivan.

485
00:20:49,100 --> 00:20:53,367
My acting, my modeling,
my musical career,

486
00:20:53,367 --> 00:20:54,934
my novel-writing.

487
00:20:54,934 --> 00:20:57,901
I went through a phase where
i just sacrificed everything.

488
00:20:59,133 --> 00:21:01,767
Lucky you didn't bump
into any goats, then.

489
00:21:03,834 --> 00:21:07,100
Excellent dress.
I think i can see nipples.

490
00:21:09,467 --> 00:21:12,000
How could she sit there,
pretending to be a couple?

491
00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:13,901
We've got
an understanding.

492
00:21:13,901 --> 00:21:15,734
Steve,
we've got to get over there,

493
00:21:15,734 --> 00:21:18,067
and you've got to pretend
to be my husband.

494
00:21:18,067 --> 00:21:20,367
I can't have complete strangers
thinking I'm some kind

495
00:21:20,367 --> 00:21:21,801
of man-repellent psychopath.

496
00:21:21,801 --> 00:21:24,601
Bad enough from the people
who know me.

497
00:21:24,601 --> 00:21:27,133
So, Susan, you must have
made lots of sacrifices

498
00:21:27,133 --> 00:21:28,601
to be with Patrick.

499
00:21:28,601 --> 00:21:31,167
Probably not as many
as you did, darling.

500
00:21:31,167 --> 00:21:32,701
Oh, i bet she did,
actually.

501
00:21:32,701 --> 00:21:33,868
Didn't you, darling?

502
00:21:33,868 --> 00:21:35,601
My little filly,

503
00:21:35,601 --> 00:21:38,434
she made sacrifices
all over the place.

504
00:21:38,434 --> 00:21:39,434
Didn't you, Susan?

505
00:21:40,601 --> 00:21:42,701
Absolutely,
Patrick, honey.

506
00:21:42,701 --> 00:21:44,834
What do you think
was your <i>biggest</i> sacrifice?

507
00:21:44,834 --> 00:21:47,934
Your number one,
seriously massive,

508
00:21:47,934 --> 00:21:50,534
senior executive,
corner-office sacrifice?

509
00:21:50,534 --> 00:21:51,601
What would that be?

510
00:21:53,334 --> 00:21:55,300
Well,
that would have to be...

511
00:21:55,300 --> 00:21:56,367
My penis.

512
00:22:05,634 --> 00:22:06,634
Kidding!!!

513
00:22:07,868 --> 00:22:09,601
I've still got my penis.

514
00:22:12,300 --> 00:22:13,334
Kidding!!!

515
00:22:14,501 --> 00:22:15,701
Never had a penis,

516
00:22:15,701 --> 00:22:17,868
and that's what we've got
in common.

517
00:22:19,801 --> 00:22:22,367
( chuckles nervously )

518
00:22:22,367 --> 00:22:25,701
look, all I'm asking you to do
is sneak into mummy's room

519
00:22:25,701 --> 00:22:27,334
and steal
an expensive-looking dress.

520
00:22:27,334 --> 00:22:29,467
Mummy doesn't have
expensive dresses.

521
00:22:29,467 --> 00:22:31,968
Mummy says we can't have
expensive things

522
00:22:31,968 --> 00:22:34,801
because of the government
and daddy's girlfriend.

523
00:22:36,234 --> 00:22:39,267
I only get little presents
and no crisps.

524
00:22:39,267 --> 00:22:40,968
Right.

525
00:22:40,968 --> 00:22:42,801
What do mummy's dresses
look like?

526
00:22:42,801 --> 00:22:44,667
Fat with big flowers.

527
00:22:46,033 --> 00:22:48,367
Okay.
Let's forget about mummy.

528
00:22:48,367 --> 00:22:49,901
Do you have a big sister?

529
00:22:49,901 --> 00:22:51,300
An au pair?

530
00:22:51,300 --> 00:22:53,033
Is daddy's girlfriend staying?

531
00:22:54,534 --> 00:22:58,067
Melissa's got dresses.
She's got lots.

532
00:22:58,067 --> 00:22:59,133
And what age is Melissa?

533
00:22:59,133 --> 00:23:01,667
Twenty-two
and three quarters.

534
00:23:01,667 --> 00:23:04,300
Oh, that's perfect!
So am i.

535
00:23:05,801 --> 00:23:08,033
What's her nicest dress?

536
00:23:08,033 --> 00:23:09,834
Her little Black one.

537
00:23:09,834 --> 00:23:13,467
That sounds lovely.
Could you go and get it?

538
00:23:13,467 --> 00:23:14,934
And don't tell Melissa.

539
00:23:14,934 --> 00:23:16,501
Okay.

540
00:23:16,501 --> 00:23:18,400
Bill: Jane?
Yes?

541
00:23:18,400 --> 00:23:19,667
Are you okay
in there?

542
00:23:19,667 --> 00:23:21,434
Still freshening up.

543
00:23:21,434 --> 00:23:24,367
It's just...
Taking longer than i expected.

544
00:23:26,133 --> 00:23:27,501
Jane.

545
00:23:27,501 --> 00:23:29,667
Did you get the dress?
Yes.

546
00:23:29,667 --> 00:23:31,334
Can i have it?!
No.

547
00:23:33,067 --> 00:23:34,834
So, Susan,
do you work,

548
00:23:34,834 --> 00:23:37,067
or does Patrick manage
to support you?

549
00:23:37,067 --> 00:23:38,868
Well, i think
it's important

550
00:23:38,868 --> 00:23:40,534
for women to keep
their independence.

551
00:23:40,534 --> 00:23:42,133
We have a marriage
of equals.

552
00:23:42,133 --> 00:23:43,934
( scoffs )
she's just kidding again.

553
00:23:44,968 --> 00:23:47,434
I often thought I'd like
a part-time job

554
00:23:47,434 --> 00:23:49,434
as a top-flight
fashion consultant.

555
00:23:49,434 --> 00:23:52,000
You see,
I'm very interested in clothes.

556
00:23:52,000 --> 00:23:54,567
Really?
You should wear some.

557
00:24:06,067 --> 00:24:08,334
How do you do that?

558
00:24:08,334 --> 00:24:09,334
Do what?

559
00:24:20,133 --> 00:24:21,567
( laughs )

560
00:24:21,567 --> 00:24:22,567
men.

561
00:24:23,834 --> 00:24:25,667
No, there was
this beam of light.

562
00:24:25,667 --> 00:24:29,667
You are so poetic.

563
00:24:29,667 --> 00:24:31,634
Actually, i think
it's coming from over there.

564
00:24:31,634 --> 00:24:33,901
Yeah, it'll be some guy
with a torch, as usual.

565
00:24:35,701 --> 00:24:39,868
So you don't mind your husband
groping my wife, then?

566
00:24:39,868 --> 00:24:41,300
Well, i--
no, no.

567
00:24:41,300 --> 00:24:45,200
It's, um...it's fine.
We're not exclusive, either.

568
00:24:49,167 --> 00:24:51,133
Please, Emily!

569
00:24:51,133 --> 00:24:53,467
Melissa <i>needs</i> her dress.

570
00:24:53,467 --> 00:24:55,300
Okay, listen.
Here's an idea.

571
00:24:55,300 --> 00:24:57,267
Melissa can have my coat.

572
00:24:57,267 --> 00:25:00,133
You give me her dress,
and she can have my coat.

573
00:25:00,133 --> 00:25:01,901
Coats are better than dresses.

574
00:25:01,901 --> 00:25:03,734
Okay.

575
00:25:03,734 --> 00:25:06,234
Okay.
Give me the dress.

576
00:25:06,234 --> 00:25:08,634
My mummy's coming!

577
00:25:08,634 --> 00:25:09,968
Well quickly, then!
Quickly!

578
00:25:14,601 --> 00:25:15,968
Come on, come on!

579
00:25:20,234 --> 00:25:21,734
Here's the dress.

580
00:25:23,367 --> 00:25:24,367
Good night, Jane.

581
00:25:33,434 --> 00:25:35,067
Oh, come on.

582
00:25:35,067 --> 00:25:38,100
Are you really telling me
alittle <i>hottie</i> like you

583
00:25:38,100 --> 00:25:39,300
has never swapped?

584
00:25:39,300 --> 00:25:40,501
"Swapped"?

585
00:25:40,501 --> 00:25:42,567
I think Patrick's
quite into the idea.

586
00:25:42,567 --> 00:25:44,968
No, no.
Not at all. Not me.

587
00:25:44,968 --> 00:25:46,467
Unless you'd like to--

588
00:25:46,467 --> 00:25:47,467
no!!!

589
00:25:48,501 --> 00:25:50,100
Sorry, no.
Absolutely not.

590
00:25:50,100 --> 00:25:51,367
I told you, dear.

591
00:25:51,367 --> 00:25:54,434
Not <i>everyone</i>
is sophisticated like us.

592
00:25:55,434 --> 00:25:56,767
The thing is, Ivan...

593
00:25:58,167 --> 00:25:59,634
I don't share my woman.

594
00:26:00,767 --> 00:26:02,534
It's like finding
the right tennis racket.

595
00:26:02,534 --> 00:26:04,567
Once you've got one
you really like using,

596
00:26:04,567 --> 00:26:06,834
you keep on using it
until it falls apart

597
00:26:06,834 --> 00:26:08,868
and you have to get
a new one.

598
00:26:11,167 --> 00:26:12,400
Only more emotional.

599
00:26:13,400 --> 00:26:15,601
Point is,
I'm a one-woman guy,

600
00:26:15,601 --> 00:26:17,167
and Susan's a one-man
woman.

601
00:26:17,167 --> 00:26:18,701
Maybe you guys
aren't like that,

602
00:26:18,701 --> 00:26:20,067
but then maybe

603
00:26:20,067 --> 00:26:22,167
you guys haven't experienced
real love.

604
00:26:24,567 --> 00:26:27,534
Everybody, I'd like you
to meet my husband Steve.

605
00:26:29,434 --> 00:26:33,501
Susan, i love you
more than i can tell you.

606
00:26:33,501 --> 00:26:34,567
Will you marry me?

607
00:26:38,033 --> 00:26:39,434
Yes.

608
00:26:39,434 --> 00:26:41,200
Yes, yes.
Of course i will!

609
00:26:44,968 --> 00:26:46,000
For God's sake!

610
00:26:48,467 --> 00:26:50,834
I thought it was time
for the grand gesture.

611
00:26:50,834 --> 00:26:52,567
It is.
Let's go home.

612
00:26:52,567 --> 00:26:55,334
Oh, Patrick,
I'm sorry about this.

613
00:26:55,334 --> 00:26:56,434
Oh, that's okay.
No biggie.

614
00:26:56,434 --> 00:26:57,434
And congratulations!

615
00:27:02,534 --> 00:27:04,067
Oh, well.
Easy come, easy go.

616
00:27:04,067 --> 00:27:05,100
Care to join us?

617
00:27:05,100 --> 00:27:06,868
Yeah, why not?

618
00:27:06,868 --> 00:27:09,834
Fancy a fresh drink?

619
00:27:09,834 --> 00:27:12,133
No, I'll just carry on
with Susan's.

620
00:27:12,133 --> 00:27:13,834
What were we talking about?

621
00:27:13,834 --> 00:27:16,000
I was asking
if you swapped.

622
00:27:17,300 --> 00:27:18,467
Right.

623
00:27:20,167 --> 00:27:21,501
( laughs )

624
00:27:21,501 --> 00:27:22,834
what?

625
00:27:22,834 --> 00:27:24,901
She's not even
a real blonde.

626
00:27:29,067 --> 00:27:30,367
How would you know?

627
00:27:31,534 --> 00:27:32,534
Thanks.

628
00:27:49,300 --> 00:27:51,634
Okay, the dining room
is the first door--

629
00:27:56,634 --> 00:27:59,701
oh, hello, everyone.

630
00:28:00,868 --> 00:28:02,434
( clears throat )

631
00:28:02,434 --> 00:28:04,467
I'm feeling a bit of a chill
coming on,

632
00:28:04,467 --> 00:28:08,234
so i thought i might sneak off
home and get an early night.

633
00:28:09,567 --> 00:28:10,667
Sorry, bill.

634
00:28:10,667 --> 00:28:12,000
Some other time?

635
00:28:15,934 --> 00:28:17,901
I seemed to have
mislaid my coat.

636
00:28:17,901 --> 00:28:20,501
I hope you don't mind
if i borrow this one.

637
00:28:22,300 --> 00:28:23,701
Oh, and, Harry?

638
00:28:23,701 --> 00:28:24,801
Yeah?

639
00:28:24,801 --> 00:28:27,267
Stop imagining me naked.

640
00:28:32,801 --> 00:28:35,701
* if you can't make
your mind up *

641
00:28:35,701 --> 00:28:41,767
* we'll never get started *

642
00:28:41,767 --> 00:28:44,501
* and i don't wanna
wind up *

643
00:28:44,501 --> 00:28:50,434
* being parted,
broken-hearted *

644
00:28:50,434 --> 00:28:53,667
* so if you really love me *

645
00:28:53,667 --> 00:28:55,634
* say yes *

646
00:28:55,634 --> 00:28:58,200
* and please
don't tell me *

647
00:28:58,200 --> 00:29:02,100
* perhaps, perhaps, perhaps *