1
00:00:23,023 --> 00:00:26,651
MAN:
Do I have an original thought
in my head? My bald head?

2
00:00:26,860 --> 00:00:29,654
Maybe if I were happier,
my hair wouldn't be falling out.

3
00:00:29,863 --> 00:00:33,241
Life is short. I need
to make the most of it.

4
00:00:33,450 --> 00:00:36,953
Today is the first day
of the rest of my life.

5
00:00:38,038 --> 00:00:39,455
I'm a walking cliché.

6
00:00:39,665 --> 00:00:42,250
I really need to go to the doctor,
have my leg checked.

7
00:00:42,459 --> 00:00:44,043
There's something wrong.
A bump.

8
00:00:44,253 --> 00:00:46,504
The dentist called again.
I'm way overdue.

9
00:00:46,714 --> 00:00:48,923
If I stopped putting things off,
I'd be happier.

10
00:00:49,091 --> 00:00:51,342
All I do is sit on my fat ass.

11
00:00:51,510 --> 00:00:53,720
If my ass wasn't fat,
I'd be happier.

12
00:00:53,929 --> 00:00:57,098
I wouldn't have to wear these shirts
with the tails out all the time.

13
00:00:57,307 --> 00:00:58,850
Like that's fooling anyone.

14
00:00:59,059 --> 00:01:02,770
Fat ass. I should start jogging again.
Five miles a day.

15
00:01:02,980 --> 00:01:05,982
Really do it this time.
Maybe rock climbing.

16
00:01:06,191 --> 00:01:07,817
I need to turn my life around.

17
00:01:08,026 --> 00:01:10,611
What do I need to do?
I need to fall in love.

18
00:01:10,821 --> 00:01:12,238
I need to have a girlfriend.

19
00:01:12,448 --> 00:01:14,615
I need to read more,
improve myself.

20
00:01:14,825 --> 00:01:16,617
What if I learned Russian
or something?

21
00:01:16,827 --> 00:01:19,787
Or took up an instrument?
I could speak Chinese.

22
00:01:19,997 --> 00:01:23,374
I would be the screenwriter
who speaks Chinese.
And plays the oboe.

23
00:01:23,584 --> 00:01:26,210
That would be cool.
I should get my hair cut short.

24
00:01:26,420 --> 00:01:29,630
Stop trying to fool everyone into
thinking I have a full head of hair.

25
00:01:29,840 --> 00:01:32,717
How pathetic is that?
Just be real. Confident.

26
00:01:32,926 --> 00:01:35,094
Isn't that what women
are attracted to?

27
00:01:35,304 --> 00:01:36,804
Men don't have to be attractive.

28
00:01:37,014 --> 00:01:39,432
But that's not true,
especially these days.

29
00:01:39,641 --> 00:01:42,643
Almost as much pressure on men
as there is on women these days.

30
00:01:42,853 --> 00:01:45,897
Why should I be made to feel I have
to apologize for my existence?

31
00:01:46,106 --> 00:01:47,732
Maybe it's my brain chemistry.

32
00:01:47,941 --> 00:01:50,109
Maybe that's what's wrong:
Bad chemistry.

33
00:01:50,319 --> 00:01:53,488
All my problems and anxiety can be
reduced to a chemical imbalance

34
00:01:53,697 --> 00:01:55,490
or some kind of
misfiring synapses.

35
00:01:55,699 --> 00:01:57,450
I need to get help for that.

36
00:01:57,659 --> 00:01:59,744
But I'll still be ugly, though.

37
00:01:59,953 --> 00:02:01,579
Nothing's gonna change that.

38
00:02:01,789 --> 00:02:05,333
MALKOVICH:
Shut up! Shut up! Okay?

39
00:02:05,501 --> 00:02:09,003
Let's really try today
to solve our camera problems.

40
00:02:09,171 --> 00:02:12,548
Keep between-take time
at an absolute minimum.

41
00:02:12,758 --> 00:02:14,926
These masks are really hot. Okay?

42
00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:17,720
I wanna be very well-heard
on that from everybody.

43
00:02:17,930 --> 00:02:22,767
Don't futz unless it's absolutely
important to the shot, okay?

44
00:02:22,976 --> 00:02:26,145
I don't say that for me.
I say that for the people sitting here

45
00:02:26,355 --> 00:02:27,939
SMITH: Thank you.
In the rubber.

46
00:02:28,148 --> 00:02:30,733
I like my dress. Okay?
SMITH: Very good.

47
00:02:31,568 --> 00:02:34,237
So now, folks, you better
heed that advice.

48
00:02:34,446 --> 00:02:37,698
Okay? Heed that advice.
Stand by for picture.

49
00:02:37,866 --> 00:02:42,036
Have her rotate around the table
a little bit further.

50
00:02:42,246 --> 00:02:44,997
[CREW CHATTERING]

51
00:02:45,165 --> 00:02:46,374
ACORD:
Hold on until we're clear.

52
00:02:46,583 --> 00:02:49,502
SMITH: You. You're in the eyeline.
Can you please get off the stage?

53
00:02:49,711 --> 00:02:52,004
GAFFER:
Yeah, just bring in the six-footer.

54
00:02:57,010 --> 00:02:59,929
KAUFMAN: What am I doing here?
Why did I bother to come here today?

55
00:03:00,264 --> 00:03:02,056
Nobody even seems to know
my name.

56
00:03:02,266 --> 00:03:07,228
I've been on this planet for 40 years,
and I don't understand a single thing.

57
00:03:07,437 --> 00:03:10,398
Why am I here?
How did I get here?

58
00:03:10,566 --> 00:03:12,567
[♪♪♪]

59
00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:09,624
My leg hurts.
I wonder if it's cancer.

60
00:04:09,833 --> 00:04:12,293
There's a bump. I'm starting
to sweat. Stop sweating.

61
00:04:12,502 --> 00:04:14,545
I've got to stop sweating.

62
00:04:14,755 --> 00:04:17,465
Can she see it dripping
down my forehead?

63
00:04:17,674 --> 00:04:20,301
She looked at my hairline.
She thinks I'm bald. She...

64
00:04:20,510 --> 00:04:22,970
We think you're great.
Oh, wow.

65
00:04:23,180 --> 00:04:24,847
Thanks.
That's nice to hear.

66
00:04:25,057 --> 00:04:27,808
We all just loved
the Malkovich script.

67
00:04:28,018 --> 00:04:30,311
Thanks. Thanks...
Such a unique voice.

68
00:04:30,520 --> 00:04:33,147
Boy, I'd love to find
a portal into your brain.

69
00:04:33,357 --> 00:04:35,149
Trust me, it's no fun.
Heh, heh.

70
00:04:37,361 --> 00:04:40,363
So tell me your thoughts
on this crazy little project of ours.

71
00:04:42,491 --> 00:04:44,575
First, I think it's a great book.

72
00:04:45,035 --> 00:04:47,787
Laroche is a fun character.
Absolutely.

73
00:04:47,996 --> 00:04:51,165
And Orlean makes orchids
so fascinating.

74
00:04:51,375 --> 00:04:55,503
Plus, her musings on Florida
and orchid poaching, Indians.

75
00:04:55,671 --> 00:04:58,339
It's just... It's great,
sprawling New Yorker stuff.

76
00:04:58,548 --> 00:05:00,132
I'd want to remain true to that.

77
00:05:00,342 --> 00:05:02,593
I'd wanna let the movie exist,

78
00:05:02,761 --> 00:05:05,930
rather than be artificially
plot-driven.

79
00:05:06,098 --> 00:05:07,848
Great.

80
00:05:08,767 --> 00:05:10,893
I guess I'm not exactly sure
what that means.

81
00:05:11,061 --> 00:05:12,311
Oh.

82
00:05:13,772 --> 00:05:16,524
I'm not sure I know
what that means either.

83
00:05:16,733 --> 00:05:19,694
I don't wanna ruin it by making it
a Hollywood thing. You know?

84
00:05:19,903 --> 00:05:24,532
Like an orchid heist movie
or something, you know?

85
00:05:24,741 --> 00:05:27,284
Or changing the orchids
into poppies

86
00:05:27,494 --> 00:05:29,453
and making it about
drug running.

87
00:05:29,663 --> 00:05:31,622
Definitely.
Why can't there be a movie

88
00:05:31,832 --> 00:05:33,624
simply about flowers?

89
00:05:34,167 --> 00:05:36,043
I guess we thought that maybe

90
00:05:36,253 --> 00:05:39,547
Susan Orlean and Laroche
could fall in love, and...

91
00:05:39,756 --> 00:05:43,509
Okay. But I'm saying, it's like,
I don't wanna cram in sex

92
00:05:43,719 --> 00:05:46,721
or guns or car chases,

93
00:05:46,930 --> 00:05:50,558
you know,
or characters, you know,

94
00:05:50,767 --> 00:05:53,227
learning profound life lessons.

95
00:05:53,437 --> 00:05:55,396
Or growing,
or coming to like each other,

96
00:05:55,605 --> 00:05:58,858
or overcoming obstacles to succeed
in the end, you know? I mean...

97
00:05:59,067 --> 00:06:01,569
The book isn't like that

98
00:06:01,778 --> 00:06:05,614
and life isn't like that.
You know, it just isn't. And... Ahem.

99
00:06:08,285 --> 00:06:10,953
I feel very strongly about this.

100
00:06:11,121 --> 00:06:12,747
[♪♪♪]

101
00:06:12,914 --> 00:06:16,167
ORLEAN:
John Laroche is a tall guy,
skinny as a stick,

102
00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:19,128
pale-eyed,
slouch-shouldered,

103
00:06:19,337 --> 00:06:23,924
sharply handsome, despite the fact
he's missing all his front teeth.

104
00:06:24,134 --> 00:06:27,720
I went to Florida two years ago
to write a piece for The New Yorker.

105
00:06:27,929 --> 00:06:31,932
After reading a small article about a
white man and three Seminole men

106
00:06:32,142 --> 00:06:34,852
arrested with rare orchids
they'd stolen from a place

107
00:06:35,062 --> 00:06:38,314
called the Fakahatchee Strand
State Preserve.

108
00:06:38,982 --> 00:06:40,816
[TIRES SCREECH]

109
00:06:41,485 --> 00:06:46,947
MAN [OVER SPEAKERS]:
As natural selection works solely by
and for the good of each being,

110
00:06:47,115 --> 00:06:52,536
all corporeal and mental
endowments will tend to
progress towards perfection.

111
00:06:52,746 --> 00:06:56,749
It's interesting to contemplate
an entangled bank...

112
00:06:58,085 --> 00:06:59,335
[GROWLS]

113
00:07:14,768 --> 00:07:16,936
LAROCHE:
Polyrrhiza lindenii.

114
00:07:18,355 --> 00:07:19,980
A ghost.

115
00:07:23,151 --> 00:07:25,361
Cut her down, Russell.

116
00:08:07,195 --> 00:08:08,237
[CAR DOOR CLOSES]

117
00:08:08,405 --> 00:08:10,447
TONY: Morning.
Hey.

118
00:08:10,657 --> 00:08:13,492
May I ask you gentlemen what you
have in those pillowcases?

119
00:08:13,785 --> 00:08:16,328
Yes, sir,
you absolutely may.

120
00:08:16,663 --> 00:08:19,623
Okay, then, I'm asking.
Well, okay, then.

121
00:08:19,833 --> 00:08:21,250
Let's see.

122
00:08:21,668 --> 00:08:25,379
We've got five kinds
of bromeliad,

123
00:08:25,589 --> 00:08:28,799
one peperomia,
nine orchid varieties.

124
00:08:28,967 --> 00:08:30,593
Uh...

125
00:08:30,760 --> 00:08:34,180
You know,
about 130 plants all told.

126
00:08:34,389 --> 00:08:36,682
Which my colleagues here
removed from the swamp.

127
00:08:36,892 --> 00:08:41,395
You're aware it's illegal
to remove plants or animals
from state-owned land?

128
00:08:41,605 --> 00:08:43,480
LAROCHE:
Yeah, and don't forget,

129
00:08:43,690 --> 00:08:47,067
these plants are
all endangered, sir.
Every one of them.

130
00:08:47,277 --> 00:08:51,280
Well, exactly.
That's exactly the issue.
This is a state preserve.

131
00:08:51,781 --> 00:08:53,616
Yes, sir. It is.

132
00:08:54,326 --> 00:08:57,077
But...
My colleagues are Seminole Indians.

133
00:08:57,287 --> 00:08:59,538
Did I mention that?
You're familiar, I'm sure,

134
00:08:59,748 --> 00:09:02,208
with the State of Florida
v. James E. Billie?

135
00:09:02,709 --> 00:09:07,421
So you know even though
Seminole Chief Billie
killed a Florida panther,

136
00:09:07,631 --> 00:09:09,757
one of, what,
40 in the entire world?

137
00:09:09,966 --> 00:09:11,258
Forty.
Forty.

138
00:09:11,468 --> 00:09:13,802
The state couldn't
successfully prosecute him,

139
00:09:14,012 --> 00:09:16,889
because, you know,
he's an Indian, and it's his right.

140
00:09:17,098 --> 00:09:22,102
As repugnant as you and I,
as white conservationists,
find his actions.

141
00:09:22,312 --> 00:09:25,064
But...
Not to mention the failed attempts

142
00:09:25,273 --> 00:09:29,610
on three occasions
to prosecute Seminoles
for poaching palm fronds.

143
00:09:29,819 --> 00:09:35,115
Which I believe they use
to thatch the roofs of their
traditional chickee huts.

144
00:09:35,659 --> 00:09:38,077
How about that?
With the chickee huts, right?

145
00:09:38,286 --> 00:09:42,122
Yeah, he's right. That's exactly what
we use them for. Chickee huts.

146
00:09:42,290 --> 00:09:43,916
Yeah.
Yeah.

147
00:09:45,502 --> 00:09:46,794
Yeah.

148
00:09:46,962 --> 00:09:48,879
Yeah, but I don't...

149
00:09:49,089 --> 00:09:52,424
I can't let you fellas leave yet.

150
00:09:53,301 --> 00:09:56,762
Just hold on there a minute.
Okay?

151
00:09:58,598 --> 00:10:00,975
MAN:
Charles, is that you?

152
00:10:02,936 --> 00:10:04,770
Did you eat lunch?

153
00:10:05,355 --> 00:10:09,233
I had that shrimp cocktail
in the fridge. Was it yours?

154
00:10:09,442 --> 00:10:12,695
I hope not. I couldn't remember,
so I ate it.

155
00:10:12,904 --> 00:10:15,990
Maybe we should write
our names on our food
items from now on.

156
00:10:16,199 --> 00:10:18,701
What's with you?
My back.

157
00:10:18,910 --> 00:10:23,289
Charles, you'll be glad.
I have a plan to get me
out of your house, pronto.

158
00:10:23,498 --> 00:10:28,002
A job is a plan. Is your plan a job?
Drum roll, please.

159
00:10:28,169 --> 00:10:29,545
[IMITATES DRUM ROLL]

160
00:10:29,713 --> 00:10:32,756
I'm gonna be a screenwriter.
Like you.

161
00:10:32,966 --> 00:10:35,843
I know you think this is one
of my "get rich quick" schemes,

162
00:10:36,052 --> 00:10:37,636
but I'm doing it right.

163
00:10:37,846 --> 00:10:41,557
I'm taking a three-day seminar,
and it's only 500 bucks.

164
00:10:41,766 --> 00:10:44,310
Screenwriting seminars
are bullshit.

165
00:10:44,519 --> 00:10:47,479
In theory, I agree with you.
But this one's different.

166
00:10:47,689 --> 00:10:49,648
This one's highly regarded
in the industry.

167
00:10:49,858 --> 00:10:52,026
Donald, don't say "industry."

168
00:10:52,235 --> 00:10:54,153
I'm sorry. I forgot.

169
00:10:54,362 --> 00:10:56,864
Charles, this guy
knows screenwriting.

170
00:10:57,073 --> 00:10:59,450
People come from all over
to study with him.

171
00:10:59,659 --> 00:11:02,411
I'll pay you back as soon as I...
Let me explain something.

172
00:11:02,829 --> 00:11:06,123
Anybody who says
he's got "the answer" will
attract desperate people,

173
00:11:06,333 --> 00:11:07,958
be it in the world of religion...

174
00:11:08,168 --> 00:11:10,419
I need to lie down
while you explain this.

175
00:11:10,628 --> 00:11:12,755
Sorry. I apologize.

176
00:11:13,590 --> 00:11:15,341
Okay, go ahead.

177
00:11:15,550 --> 00:11:17,926
So...
Sorry. Okay. Go.

178
00:11:18,136 --> 00:11:19,428
There are no rules, Donald.

179
00:11:19,637 --> 00:11:22,097
And anybody who says there are
is just, you know...

180
00:11:22,307 --> 00:11:25,392
Not rules. Principles.

181
00:11:26,019 --> 00:11:29,772
McKee writes that a rule says,
"You must do it this way."

182
00:11:29,981 --> 00:11:34,568
A principle says, "This works and
has through all remembered time."

183
00:11:34,778 --> 00:11:36,612
The script I'm starting,

184
00:11:36,780 --> 00:11:38,530
it's about flowers.
Oh.

185
00:11:38,698 --> 00:11:40,991
Nobody's ever done a movie
about flowers before.

186
00:11:41,201 --> 00:11:44,953
So there are no guidelines.
What about Flowers for Algernon?

187
00:11:45,163 --> 00:11:47,831
Well, that's not about flowers.
And it's not a movie.

188
00:11:48,041 --> 00:11:49,917
I'm sorry.
I never saw it.

189
00:11:50,126 --> 00:11:51,502
How...? Okay, keep going.

190
00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:54,254
Look, my point is that
those teachers are dangerous

191
00:11:54,464 --> 00:11:56,423
if your goal is to do
something new.

192
00:11:56,633 --> 00:12:00,386
A writer should always
have that goal. Writing is
a journey into the unknown.

193
00:12:00,595 --> 00:12:03,889
It's not building, you know,
one of your model airplanes.

194
00:12:08,395 --> 00:12:10,854
McKee is a former
Fulbright Scholar, Charles.

195
00:12:11,064 --> 00:12:14,191
Are you a former
Fulbright Scholar?

196
00:12:17,404 --> 00:12:20,531
KAUFMAN:
Say something. I dragged her here,
and now I'm not saying anything.

197
00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:22,574
Make her laugh.
Say something funny.

198
00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:26,328
I hate parties, Amelia.
Why did we come here?

199
00:12:26,538 --> 00:12:29,206
Because we're hip, young
trendsetters on the make?

200
00:12:29,416 --> 00:12:32,126
More like old losers
sitting on the floor, maybe.

201
00:12:32,335 --> 00:12:33,502
Jesus, Charlie.

202
00:12:33,670 --> 00:12:37,172
Heh, heh, heh.
Speak for yourself. Okay...

203
00:12:38,341 --> 00:12:40,384
Charlie, we're gonna fix you up.

204
00:12:40,593 --> 00:12:44,930
We're gonna solve the whole Charlie
Kaufman mess for once and for all.

205
00:12:45,140 --> 00:12:46,807
Okay.
Okay, let me see.

206
00:12:47,016 --> 00:12:50,436
What do you need?
What, what, what?

207
00:12:51,104 --> 00:12:53,480
Well, I'm glad you took
the orchid script.

208
00:12:53,773 --> 00:12:56,984
I think it will be good for you
to get out of your head.

209
00:12:57,193 --> 00:13:01,530
It'll ground you to think
about the bigger picture,
about nature and stuff.

210
00:13:01,781 --> 00:13:04,575
I still can't believe
they gave me that job.

211
00:13:04,784 --> 00:13:08,620
I mean, after that lunch.
I was sweating insanely.

212
00:13:08,830 --> 00:13:11,665
I was ranting. I was a mess.

213
00:13:11,875 --> 00:13:13,834
You were nervous
because she was pretty.

214
00:13:14,043 --> 00:13:15,794
How do you know
she was pretty?

215
00:13:16,004 --> 00:13:19,882
After eight months of knowing you,
I think I get what makes you sweat.

216
00:13:20,842 --> 00:13:23,719
Well, whatever.
Well, moving on, what next?

217
00:13:23,928 --> 00:13:27,431
You need a new getup.
This whole flannel-shirt thing,

218
00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:31,226
it's not really doing anything
for you anymore.

219
00:13:31,394 --> 00:13:33,395
[BOTH LAUGHING

220
00:13:34,230 --> 00:13:37,065
Thanks for coming out
with me tonight, Amelia.

221
00:13:37,233 --> 00:13:40,235
[FOLK IMPLOSION'S
"ONE PART LULLABY"
PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]

222
00:13:53,124 --> 00:13:54,917
KAUFMAN:
To begin.

223
00:13:55,126 --> 00:13:56,502
To begin.

224
00:13:57,086 --> 00:13:58,921
How to start?

225
00:14:00,548 --> 00:14:01,924
I'm hungry.

226
00:14:02,133 --> 00:14:03,550
I should get coffee.

227
00:14:03,760 --> 00:14:05,552
Coffee would help me think.

228
00:14:05,762 --> 00:14:09,389
But I should write something first,
then reward myself with coffee.

229
00:14:09,599 --> 00:14:15,187
Coffee and a muffin. Okay,
so I need to establish the themes.

230
00:14:16,731 --> 00:14:18,565
Maybe banana-nut.

231
00:14:18,775 --> 00:14:20,901
That's a good muffin.

232
00:14:21,110 --> 00:14:22,319
[KEYBOARD CLACKING]

233
00:14:22,487 --> 00:14:24,363
[♪♪♪]

234
00:14:24,531 --> 00:14:26,573
ORLEAN:
Orchid hunting is
a mortal occupation.

235
00:14:28,284 --> 00:14:31,161
Victorian-era orchid hunter
William Arnold

236
00:14:31,371 --> 00:14:33,914
drowned on
a collecting expedition.

237
00:14:34,874 --> 00:14:38,001
Osmers vanished without a trace
in Asia.

238
00:14:40,797 --> 00:14:46,760
Augustus Margary survived
toothache, rheumatism,
pleurisy and dysentery,

239
00:14:48,429 --> 00:14:51,390
only to be murdered when
he completed his mission

240
00:14:51,599 --> 00:14:54,476
and traveled beyond Bhamo.

241
00:14:57,647 --> 00:15:00,274
Laroche loved orchids, but I...

242
00:15:00,483 --> 00:15:04,236
I came to believe he loved
the difficulty and fatality
of getting them

243
00:15:04,445 --> 00:15:08,073
almost as much as he loved
the orchids themselves.

244
00:15:09,200 --> 00:15:12,995
LAROCHE:
I've been a professional
horticulturist for like 12 years.

245
00:15:13,162 --> 00:15:17,040
Uh, I owned my own
plant nursery, which was
destroyed by the hurricane.

246
00:15:17,250 --> 00:15:19,293
I'm a professional
plant lecturer.

247
00:15:19,502 --> 00:15:22,796
I've given over, like, 60 lectures
on the cultivation of plants.

248
00:15:23,006 --> 00:15:26,717
I'm a published author,
both in magazine and book form.

249
00:15:26,926 --> 00:15:29,261
And I have extensive experience
with orchids

250
00:15:29,470 --> 00:15:34,808
and the asexual micropropagation
of orchids under aseptic cultures.

251
00:15:35,018 --> 00:15:38,729
That's laboratory work.
It's not at all like your nursery work.

252
00:15:38,896 --> 00:15:40,606
Um...

253
00:15:40,815 --> 00:15:43,275
I'm probably
the smartest person I know.

254
00:15:43,860 --> 00:15:46,111
Thank you.
You're very welcome.

255
00:15:50,908 --> 00:15:53,243
Mr. Laroche?
I'm Susan Orlean.

256
00:15:53,453 --> 00:15:55,954
I'm a writer for The New Yorker.
It's a magazine that...

257
00:15:56,164 --> 00:15:58,165
I'm familiar with
The New Yorker.

258
00:15:58,374 --> 00:16:01,585
"The New Yorker?
Yes, The New Yorker." Right?

259
00:16:01,794 --> 00:16:03,378
That's right.

260
00:16:03,588 --> 00:16:07,215
I'm very interested in doing a piece
on your situation here, and...

261
00:16:07,675 --> 00:16:11,136
Oh, yeah? Yeah.
You wanna put this in?

262
00:16:11,346 --> 00:16:13,388
I don't care what goes on here.

263
00:16:13,598 --> 00:16:16,516
I'm right, and I'll take it all the way
to Supreme Court.

264
00:16:16,726 --> 00:16:19,853
Because that judge
can screw herself.

265
00:16:26,402 --> 00:16:30,072
That for real would go in?
Absolutely.

266
00:16:31,616 --> 00:16:33,408
Hmm.

267
00:16:34,243 --> 00:16:36,662
[♪♪♪]

268
00:16:38,915 --> 00:16:41,208
KAUFMAN:
We open on State Road 29.

269
00:16:41,417 --> 00:16:44,711
A battered white van speeds along,
making a sharp, skidding right

270
00:16:44,921 --> 00:16:47,631
into the Fakahatchee Strand
State Preserve.

271
00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:51,510
The driver of the van is
a skinny man with no front teeth.

272
00:16:51,928 --> 00:16:54,846
This is John Laroche.

273
00:16:56,724 --> 00:16:58,100
I need a break.

274
00:16:59,185 --> 00:17:03,689
I loved the Sibelius violin concerto.
Yeah, me too. It was great.

275
00:17:03,898 --> 00:17:07,234
The end was a little weird, but...
Oh, no! God, it was passionate.

276
00:17:07,443 --> 00:17:08,902
It was exultant.

277
00:17:09,112 --> 00:17:13,615
The soloist was amazing.
Such beautiful tones. So precise.

278
00:17:13,825 --> 00:17:15,492
God, it blows my mind.

279
00:17:15,702 --> 00:17:18,620
I wish I could play like that.
You do.

280
00:17:18,788 --> 00:17:22,708
Oh, Charlie. I don't.
I'm mediocre at best.

281
00:17:22,917 --> 00:17:25,168
Well, I love listening to you play.

282
00:17:25,378 --> 00:17:26,962
Oh, thanks, Charlie.

283
00:17:27,672 --> 00:17:29,131
[CHUCKLES]

284
00:17:29,757 --> 00:17:31,425
Here we are.

285
00:17:31,592 --> 00:17:33,218
[LAUGHS]

286
00:17:33,386 --> 00:17:34,845
So, uh...

287
00:17:35,638 --> 00:17:37,472
What are you up to now, then?

288
00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:40,600
Oh, um, I should
probably get to bed.

289
00:17:40,768 --> 00:17:43,395
I have a lot of work
to do tomorrow.

290
00:17:43,604 --> 00:17:46,022
Well, good night, then.

291
00:17:46,441 --> 00:17:49,443
[BECK'S "DEAD MELODIES"
PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]

292
00:17:54,490 --> 00:17:55,866
I would stay out.

293
00:17:56,075 --> 00:17:59,119
It's just that I've been struggling
on the script right now.

294
00:17:59,328 --> 00:18:02,748
Been thinking about it too small,
writing it like a story about Laroche.

295
00:18:02,957 --> 00:18:06,042
That's not enough. I mean,
I wanted to write about flowers.

296
00:18:06,252 --> 00:18:10,338
Anyway, I can't figure it out, and I
haven't been sleeping well lately,

297
00:18:10,548 --> 00:18:12,215
so I thought I should get home

298
00:18:12,425 --> 00:18:16,261
and try to get a good night's sleep,
you know. Start fresh in the morning.

299
00:18:16,429 --> 00:18:18,722
Hm.
Otherwise, I'd stay out.

300
00:18:18,890 --> 00:18:22,976
I understand. I hope you
figure it out, Charlie. I really do.

301
00:18:23,186 --> 00:18:26,146
Thanks. Thanks for coming out
with me and everything.

302
00:18:26,355 --> 00:18:28,190
Sure, it was fun.

303
00:18:28,399 --> 00:18:32,986
So I have to go to Santa Barbara
next weekend for this orchid show
up there.

304
00:18:33,196 --> 00:18:34,946
I thought maybe you could come.

305
00:18:36,574 --> 00:18:38,074
No, I...

306
00:18:39,035 --> 00:18:41,745
I don't think I can make it
next weekend.

307
00:18:41,954 --> 00:18:44,164
I don't think I can.

308
00:18:44,373 --> 00:18:46,833
I've got something. Sorry.

309
00:18:47,043 --> 00:18:48,627
Okay.

310
00:18:48,836 --> 00:18:51,797
So, well, okay, then.
So good night, then.

311
00:18:52,006 --> 00:18:54,132
Good night, Charlie.

312
00:18:55,676 --> 00:18:57,844
KAUFMAN:
Why didn't I go in?
I'm such a chicken.

313
00:18:58,054 --> 00:19:00,847
I'm such an idiot. I should have
kissed her. I've blown it.

314
00:19:01,057 --> 00:19:03,767
I should go and knock
on her door right now and kiss her.

315
00:19:03,976 --> 00:19:08,396
It would be romantic. Something
we could someday tell our kids.

316
00:19:09,023 --> 00:19:11,399
I'm gonna do that right now.

317
00:19:23,704 --> 00:19:25,747
Hi.
Hey.

318
00:19:26,249 --> 00:19:29,543
Thanks for picking me up.
This van's a piece of shit.

319
00:19:29,752 --> 00:19:32,879
But when I hit the jackpot,
I'll buy myself an awesome car.

320
00:19:33,089 --> 00:19:34,881
Hey, what are you driving?

321
00:19:35,049 --> 00:19:37,467
Um, it's... Well, it's a rental.

322
00:19:37,677 --> 00:19:40,679
It's a Lumina.
Awesome.

323
00:19:40,888 --> 00:19:43,723
I think I'll get one of those too.

324
00:19:48,896 --> 00:19:50,272
Here we go.

325
00:19:50,731 --> 00:19:52,566
[TIRES SCREECHING]

326
00:19:52,775 --> 00:19:55,735
Where do these people
learn to drive, huh? Ha, ha!

327
00:19:56,112 --> 00:19:57,696
The world's insane.

328
00:19:57,905 --> 00:20:00,323
So I was impressed to hear

329
00:20:00,533 --> 00:20:03,076
how accomplished you are
in horticulture.

330
00:20:03,286 --> 00:20:05,078
The thing you gotta know is,

331
00:20:05,288 --> 00:20:08,248
my whole life is looking for
a goddamn profitable plant, see?

332
00:20:08,457 --> 00:20:09,708
And that's the ghost.

333
00:20:09,917 --> 00:20:11,543
Why the ghost orchid?

334
00:20:12,420 --> 00:20:14,254
Well, the sucker's rare.

335
00:20:14,422 --> 00:20:15,589
You know?
Mm-hm.

336
00:20:15,798 --> 00:20:18,842
And I'm the only one in the world
who knows how to cultivate it.

337
00:20:19,010 --> 00:20:20,051
Mmm.

338
00:20:20,219 --> 00:20:23,221
See, the idea was, get the Indians
to pull it from the swamp.

339
00:20:23,431 --> 00:20:27,475
I researched it. Long as I don't touch
the plant, Florida can't touch us.

340
00:20:28,060 --> 00:20:32,939
And I stop future poaching
by making the flowers
readily available in stores.

341
00:20:33,149 --> 00:20:35,984
I'm a hero, the flowers are saved,

342
00:20:36,193 --> 00:20:38,403
Laroche and nature win.

343
00:20:38,696 --> 00:20:41,323
ORLEAN:
Oh. Great.

344
00:20:41,490 --> 00:20:42,782
Did you get that last part?

345
00:20:43,242 --> 00:20:45,660
Uh, yeah, I sure did.

346
00:20:45,870 --> 00:20:48,914
ORLEAN:
Orchids are the sexiest
flowers on earth.

347
00:20:49,123 --> 00:20:54,544
The name orchid derives from the
Latin orchis, which means testicle.

348
00:20:54,754 --> 00:20:56,129
DONALD:
Hey, Charles.

349
00:20:56,339 --> 00:20:58,048
I pitched my screenplay
to Mom.

350
00:20:58,257 --> 00:21:01,384
Don't say "pitch."
Sorry.

351
00:21:01,552 --> 00:21:04,888
Anyway, she said it was
Silence of the Lambs
meets Psycho.

352
00:21:05,097 --> 00:21:09,184
Maybe you guys could collaborate.
I hear Mom's good with structure.

353
00:21:11,479 --> 00:21:13,688
So how come Amelia doesn't
come around anymore?

354
00:21:13,898 --> 00:21:16,983
Did you put the moves on her
or something?

355
00:21:40,508 --> 00:21:41,549
ORLEAN:
Hi.

356
00:21:41,968 --> 00:21:44,469
I'm looking for John Laroche.

357
00:21:44,679 --> 00:21:47,222
Hi. Hi.

358
00:21:47,390 --> 00:21:49,933
I'm writing an article on John,
and I stopped by.

359
00:21:50,142 --> 00:21:51,977
Hoped I could see him.
John's not here.

360
00:21:52,561 --> 00:21:53,853
Oh.

361
00:21:54,146 --> 00:21:57,399
Well, you were at the swamp
with him, weren't you?

362
00:21:57,608 --> 00:21:59,651
Saw you at the courthouse,
that's how I know.

363
00:21:59,860 --> 00:22:01,820
I'm Matthew Osceola.

364
00:22:02,029 --> 00:22:03,863
Susan Orlean. Nice to meet you.

365
00:22:04,073 --> 00:22:06,700
Maybe I could talk to you
for a second.

366
00:22:06,909 --> 00:22:09,536
I'm just trying to get a feel
for the whole operation...

367
00:22:09,745 --> 00:22:12,580
You have very beautiful hair.

368
00:22:16,669 --> 00:22:19,045
Thank you very much.

369
00:22:19,255 --> 00:22:20,922
Thank you. I just...

370
00:22:21,132 --> 00:22:25,260
I just washed it this morning.

371
00:22:26,554 --> 00:22:29,014
I just used a new conditioner.

372
00:22:33,144 --> 00:22:35,770
I can see your sadness.

373
00:22:36,230 --> 00:22:37,772
It's lovely.

374
00:22:40,026 --> 00:22:44,070
Well, I'm just tired, that's all.
That's my problem.

375
00:22:44,280 --> 00:22:46,614
So maybe we could chat
a little bit,

376
00:22:46,991 --> 00:22:50,785
and I could get some background...
I'm not going to talk to you much.

377
00:22:50,995 --> 00:22:52,787
It's not personal.

378
00:22:54,331 --> 00:22:55,957
It's the Indian way.

379
00:23:08,137 --> 00:23:10,847
Angraecum sesquipedale.

380
00:23:11,640 --> 00:23:14,017
Beauty! God!

381
00:23:14,226 --> 00:23:16,436
Darwin wrote about this one.

382
00:23:16,979 --> 00:23:21,066
Charles Darwin?
Evolution guy? Hello?

383
00:23:21,275 --> 00:23:23,234
You see that nectary down there?

384
00:23:23,444 --> 00:23:25,737
Darwin hypothesized a moth

385
00:23:26,197 --> 00:23:29,449
with a nose 12 inches long
to pollinate it.

386
00:23:29,700 --> 00:23:31,785
Everyone thought he was a loon.

387
00:23:31,994 --> 00:23:34,162
Then, sure enough,
they found this moth

388
00:23:34,330 --> 00:23:36,372
with a 12-inch proboscis.

389
00:23:36,582 --> 00:23:39,584
"Proboscis" means nose, by the way.
I know what it means.

390
00:23:39,794 --> 00:23:43,838
Hey, let's not get off the subject.
This isn't a pissing contest.

391
00:23:44,048 --> 00:23:46,591
The point is,
what's so wonderful

392
00:23:46,801 --> 00:23:49,803
is that all these flowers
have a specific relationship

393
00:23:50,012 --> 00:23:51,805
with the insect
that pollinates it.

394
00:23:52,014 --> 00:23:54,849
There's a certain orchid
looks exactly like a certain insect.

395
00:23:55,059 --> 00:23:57,602
So the insect is drawn
to this flower,

396
00:23:57,812 --> 00:24:00,939
its double, its soul mate,

397
00:24:01,148 --> 00:24:04,567
and wants nothing more
than to make love to it.

398
00:24:05,069 --> 00:24:07,278
After the insect flies off,

399
00:24:07,488 --> 00:24:12,117
it spots another soul-mate flower
and makes love to it, pollinating it.

400
00:24:12,326 --> 00:24:15,745
And neither the flower nor the insect
will ever understand

401
00:24:15,955 --> 00:24:18,873
the significance
of their lovemaking.

402
00:24:19,208 --> 00:24:22,752
How could they know that because
of their little dance, the world lives?

403
00:24:22,962 --> 00:24:24,754
But it does.

404
00:24:24,964 --> 00:24:27,090
By simply doing
what they're designed to do

405
00:24:27,299 --> 00:24:30,009
something large
and magnificent happens.

406
00:24:30,219 --> 00:24:32,470
In this sense, they show us
how to live.

407
00:24:32,680 --> 00:24:36,307
How the only barometer
you have is your heart.

408
00:24:36,517 --> 00:24:42,021
How when you spot your flower,
you can't let anything get in your way.

409
00:24:42,189 --> 00:24:43,731
[♪♪♪]

410
00:24:49,446 --> 00:24:52,282
He's really quite a character.
No front teeth.

411
00:24:52,491 --> 00:24:55,618
Doesn't seem to bother him at all.
Why doesn't he get them fixed?

412
00:24:55,828 --> 00:24:59,247
It seems almost sociopathic
to make everybody look at that.

413
00:24:59,456 --> 00:25:02,250
Yeah, but he gives
a great blowjob, honey.

414
00:25:02,418 --> 00:25:03,793
[ALL LAUGHING]

415
00:25:03,961 --> 00:25:06,546
He is a fascinating character,
though.

416
00:25:06,755 --> 00:25:09,007
Sounds like a gold mine,
Sue.

417
00:25:09,216 --> 00:25:12,635
It could be. I don't know,
you know? He's, uh...

418
00:25:12,845 --> 00:25:16,931
He lives with his dad,
he's obsessed with his
dead mother, and...

419
00:25:17,141 --> 00:25:21,394
He wears his sunglasses on a little
dingle-dangle around his neck.

420
00:25:21,604 --> 00:25:22,770
Loving it.

421
00:25:22,938 --> 00:25:23,980
[ALL LAUGHING]

422
00:25:24,148 --> 00:25:27,358
Tell them about the van.
Okay, the van. The van.

423
00:25:27,568 --> 00:25:30,737
I can't tell about the van. I gotta pee.
No, tell us about the van.

424
00:25:31,363 --> 00:25:33,990
It's amazing. It's...
MAN 1: What's in it?

425
00:25:34,200 --> 00:25:35,825
MAN 2:
You did it in the van.

426
00:25:35,993 --> 00:25:37,410
Shut up.

427
00:25:37,620 --> 00:25:40,163
David, you tell...
Don't you tell them.
Don't tell them.

428
00:25:40,372 --> 00:25:41,915
Okay, the van.

429
00:25:42,291 --> 00:25:43,708
David!

430
00:25:43,876 --> 00:25:45,376
[ALL LAUGHING]

431
00:25:46,045 --> 00:25:48,087
DAVID:
This van was filled
with junk...

432
00:25:48,297 --> 00:25:49,339
Shut up!

433
00:25:49,548 --> 00:25:53,760
DAVID:
Potting soil. Shovels.
Food wrappers. Fertilizer.

434
00:25:53,969 --> 00:25:56,179
Susie said she hoped
it was fertilizer, anyway.

435
00:25:56,347 --> 00:25:57,430
[GUESTS LAUGHING]

436
00:25:57,598 --> 00:26:01,017
Said she couldn't be sure.
Laroche had a certain
aromatic look about him.

437
00:26:01,227 --> 00:26:02,268
And she said...

438
00:26:02,478 --> 00:26:05,813
She said perhaps his obsessiveness
didn't leave room in his schedule

439
00:26:06,023 --> 00:26:07,565
for personal hygiene.

440
00:26:07,733 --> 00:26:08,858
[GUESTS LAUGHING]

441
00:26:09,026 --> 00:26:12,403
Maybe the orchids got
all the available water.

442
00:26:13,197 --> 00:26:18,701
ORLEAN:
I wanted to want something as much
as people wanted these plants.

443
00:26:19,578 --> 00:26:20,995
But...

444
00:26:21,664 --> 00:26:24,832
it isn't part of my constitution.

445
00:26:25,876 --> 00:26:29,921
I suppose I do have
one unembarrassed passion.

446
00:26:30,089 --> 00:26:32,131
[♪♪♪]

447
00:26:32,299 --> 00:26:37,345
I wanna know what it feels like to care
about something passionately.

448
00:26:49,525 --> 00:26:52,277
"Should one be lucky enough
to see a ghost orchid,

449
00:26:52,486 --> 00:26:55,822
all else will seem eclipsed."

450
00:26:58,450 --> 00:27:01,452
If the ghost orchid
was really a phantom,

451
00:27:01,662 --> 00:27:05,915
it was such a bewitching one that
it could seduce people to pursue it

452
00:27:06,125 --> 00:27:09,419
year after year
and mile after miserable mile.

453
00:27:09,628 --> 00:27:13,047
If it was a real flower,
I wanted to see one.

454
00:27:13,257 --> 00:27:16,843
The reason wasn't that
I love orchids. I don't even
especially like orchids.

455
00:27:17,052 --> 00:27:20,596
What I wanted
was to see this thing

456
00:27:20,806 --> 00:27:27,103
that people were drawn to
in such a singular and powerful way.

457
00:27:30,232 --> 00:27:33,359
So how many turtles
did you end up collecting?

458
00:27:33,569 --> 00:27:36,237
Oh, I lost interest right after that.

459
00:27:37,614 --> 00:27:38,823
Oh.

460
00:27:39,074 --> 00:27:42,035
I dropped turtles when I fell
in love with Ice Age fossils.

461
00:27:42,244 --> 00:27:44,704
Collected the shit out of them.

462
00:27:44,913 --> 00:27:48,916
Fossils were the only thing that made
sense to me in this fucked-up world.

463
00:27:49,543 --> 00:27:52,879
I ditched fossils
for resilvering old mirrors.

464
00:27:53,088 --> 00:27:55,006
My mom and I
had the largest collection

465
00:27:55,215 --> 00:27:58,259
of 19th-century Dutch mirrors
on the planet.

466
00:27:58,469 --> 00:28:01,304
Perhaps you read about us.
Mirror World, October '88?

467
00:28:01,513 --> 00:28:04,098
I got a copy here somewhere.

468
00:28:05,559 --> 00:28:08,895
I guess I'd just like to know
how you can detach from something

469
00:28:09,104 --> 00:28:11,481
that you've invested
so much of your soul in.

470
00:28:11,690 --> 00:28:16,152
I mean, didn't you ever
miss turtles?

471
00:28:16,362 --> 00:28:20,615
The only thing that made
your 10-year-old life worth living?

472
00:28:21,158 --> 00:28:24,494
Look, I'll tell you a story, all right?

473
00:28:24,745 --> 00:28:30,333
I once fell deeply, you know,
profoundly in love with tropical fish.

474
00:28:30,542 --> 00:28:32,627
I had 60 goddamn fish tanks
in my house.

475
00:28:32,836 --> 00:28:35,505
I'd skin-dive to find
just the right ones.

476
00:28:35,714 --> 00:28:41,094
Anisotremus virginicus,
Holacanthus ciliaris,
Chaetodon capistratus.

477
00:28:41,303 --> 00:28:43,054
You name it.

478
00:28:43,472 --> 00:28:46,432
Then one day I say, "Fuck fish."

479
00:28:46,642 --> 00:28:50,937
I renounce fish. I vow never
to set foot in that ocean again.

480
00:28:51,146 --> 00:28:53,856
That's how much "fuck fish."

481
00:28:54,817 --> 00:28:59,404
That was 17 years ago, and I have
never since stuck a toe in that ocean.

482
00:28:59,613 --> 00:29:01,823
And I love the ocean.

483
00:29:03,242 --> 00:29:04,909
But why?

484
00:29:06,787 --> 00:29:08,955
Done with fish.

485
00:29:09,915 --> 00:29:14,293
ORLEAN:
If you'd really loved something,
wouldn't a little bit of it linger?

486
00:29:14,503 --> 00:29:17,505
Evidently Laroche's finishes
were downright and absolute.

487
00:29:17,714 --> 00:29:19,173
He just moved on.

488
00:29:19,383 --> 00:29:23,302
I sometimes wished
I could do the same.

489
00:29:28,642 --> 00:29:31,561
Good afternoon.
So, what looks good today?

490
00:29:31,770 --> 00:29:33,563
The key lime pie, please.

491
00:29:33,772 --> 00:29:35,481
A small slice.

492
00:29:35,691 --> 00:29:38,359
And a coffee, please.
Skim milk, please.

493
00:29:39,903 --> 00:29:42,780
Orchids. I love orchids.

494
00:29:42,990 --> 00:29:45,658
Oh, cool. That's... Heh.

495
00:29:48,662 --> 00:29:51,706
Well, I'll be right back
with your pie.

496
00:30:02,301 --> 00:30:05,511
I'm so excited. I've always wanted
to come to an orchid show.

497
00:30:05,888 --> 00:30:08,222
I think these flowers are so sexy.

498
00:30:10,184 --> 00:30:11,976
Let's see what's around back.

499
00:30:33,916 --> 00:30:34,916
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

500
00:30:35,083 --> 00:30:36,209
What?

501
00:30:36,418 --> 00:30:39,212
You wanna hear my pitch?
Go away, goddamn it.

502
00:30:41,465 --> 00:30:43,841
You know, I'm just trying
to do something.

503
00:30:48,847 --> 00:30:51,307
Hey, thanks a lot, buddy.
Cool.

504
00:30:51,517 --> 00:30:53,559
Okay, there's this
serial killer, right?

505
00:30:53,769 --> 00:30:56,437
Well, no, wait.
And he's being hunted by a cop.

506
00:30:56,647 --> 00:31:00,608
And he's taunting the cop, right?
Sending clues who his next victim is.

507
00:31:00,817 --> 00:31:03,319
He's already holding her
hostage in his basement.

508
00:31:03,529 --> 00:31:06,197
So the cop gets obsessed
with figuring out her identity

509
00:31:06,406 --> 00:31:08,616
and in the process
falls in love with her.

510
00:31:08,825 --> 00:31:11,786
Even though he's never even
met her. She becomes like...

511
00:31:11,995 --> 00:31:15,122
Like the unattainable.
Like the Holy Grail.

512
00:31:15,290 --> 00:31:17,083
It's a little obvious,
don't you think?

513
00:31:17,251 --> 00:31:18,876
Okay, but here's the twist.

514
00:31:19,086 --> 00:31:21,295
We find out that the killer

515
00:31:21,505 --> 00:31:24,423
really suffers from
multiple personality disorder. Right?

516
00:31:24,633 --> 00:31:28,177
See, he's actually really the cop
and the girl.

517
00:31:28,387 --> 00:31:31,556
All of them are him.
Isn't that fucked up?

518
00:31:33,016 --> 00:31:37,728
The only idea more overused than
serial killers is multiple personality.

519
00:31:37,938 --> 00:31:40,273
On top of that,
you explore the notion

520
00:31:40,482 --> 00:31:43,526
that cop and criminal are
two aspects of the same person.

521
00:31:43,735 --> 00:31:46,696
See every cop movie ever made
for other examples of this.

522
00:31:46,905 --> 00:31:49,448
Mom called it
psychologically taut.

523
00:31:49,658 --> 00:31:53,494
The other thing is, there's no way
to write this. Did you consider that?

524
00:31:53,704 --> 00:31:58,124
I mean, how could you
have somebody held
prisoner in a basement

525
00:31:58,333 --> 00:32:02,420
and working in a police station
at the same time?

526
00:32:03,755 --> 00:32:06,382
Trick photography.
Okay, that's not what I'm asking.

527
00:32:06,592 --> 00:32:09,302
Listen closely.
What I'm asking is:

528
00:32:09,511 --> 00:32:14,307
In the reality of this movie, where
there's only one character, right?

529
00:32:14,516 --> 00:32:16,058
Okay?

530
00:32:16,268 --> 00:32:18,227
How could you?

531
00:32:19,855 --> 00:32:22,023
What exactly would?

532
00:32:24,109 --> 00:32:25,818
I agree with Mom. Very taut.

533
00:32:26,028 --> 00:32:28,863
Sybil meets, I don't know...
Dressed to Kill.

534
00:32:29,072 --> 00:32:31,324
Cool. I really liked
Dressed to Kill.

535
00:32:31,533 --> 00:32:35,828
Until the third act denouement.
That's not how it's pronounced.

536
00:32:37,372 --> 00:32:39,540
Sorry. I...
Okay, sorry.

537
00:32:43,337 --> 00:32:45,588
Hi.
Hey.

538
00:32:45,756 --> 00:32:49,175
Some key lime pie for you today?
Okay, yeah. That sounds great.

539
00:32:49,384 --> 00:32:52,011
I'll cut you an extra-large slice.
Preferred customer.

540
00:32:52,220 --> 00:32:54,430
Thank you.
That's really sweet of you.

541
00:32:54,598 --> 00:32:56,265
Well, I'm just a sweetie, ain't I?

542
00:32:56,433 --> 00:32:59,518
Still reading about orchids, I hope?
Yes, I am.

543
00:32:59,728 --> 00:33:02,521
This friend of mine
has this little, tiny pink one

544
00:33:02,731 --> 00:33:05,858
that grows on a tree branch
just like that.

545
00:33:06,068 --> 00:33:08,152
I can't remember...
It's called an epiphyte.

546
00:33:08,362 --> 00:33:10,404
Right. Right!

547
00:33:10,614 --> 00:33:12,198
Boy, you know your stuff.

548
00:33:12,407 --> 00:33:15,534
No, not really.
I'm just learning.

549
00:33:15,744 --> 00:33:18,621
Epiphytes grow on trees,
but they're not parasites.

550
00:33:18,830 --> 00:33:21,374
They get their nourishment
from the air and the rain.

551
00:33:22,042 --> 00:33:25,586
Well, I'm impressed.
That's great.

552
00:33:26,213 --> 00:33:28,923
There are more than 30,000 kinds
of orchids in the world.

553
00:33:29,257 --> 00:33:32,593
Wow, that's a lot, huh?
Yeah. Yeah.

554
00:33:32,803 --> 00:33:33,969
Yeah.

555
00:33:34,179 --> 00:33:39,266
I'll be back with an extra-large slice
of key lime pie for my orchid expert.

556
00:33:39,726 --> 00:33:42,937
But... So anyway,
I was also wondering...

557
00:33:44,564 --> 00:33:49,026
I'm going up to Santa Barbara this
Saturday for an orchid show, and I...

558
00:33:49,903 --> 00:33:51,445
Oh.

559
00:33:51,655 --> 00:33:53,030
I'm sorry.
Well, um...

560
00:33:53,240 --> 00:33:57,076
I apologize. I'm sorry.
So I'll just be right back with your pie.

561
00:34:00,205 --> 00:34:02,206
[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

562
00:34:07,087 --> 00:34:11,590
ORLEAN:
There are more than 30,000
known orchid species.

563
00:34:11,800 --> 00:34:14,051
One looks like a turtle.

564
00:34:14,469 --> 00:34:17,138
One looks like a monkey.

565
00:34:17,681 --> 00:34:20,015
One looks like an onion.

566
00:34:20,225 --> 00:34:22,143
KAUFMAN:
One looks like a schoolteacher.

567
00:34:22,477 --> 00:34:24,145
One looks like a gymnast.

568
00:34:24,479 --> 00:34:27,314
One looks like that girl
in high school with creamy skin.

569
00:34:27,899 --> 00:34:29,734
One looks like a New York
intellectual

570
00:34:29,943 --> 00:34:32,945
with whom you do the Sunday
Times crossword puzzle in bed.

571
00:34:33,155 --> 00:34:35,823
One looks like a Midwestern
beauty queen.

572
00:34:36,116 --> 00:34:38,284
One looks like Amelia.

573
00:34:38,493 --> 00:34:40,119
One has eyes that dance.

574
00:34:40,328 --> 00:34:44,039
One has eyes that contain
the sadness of the world.

575
00:34:44,207 --> 00:34:46,625
[♪♪♪]

576
00:34:49,212 --> 00:34:52,298
So I got married,
and me and my beautiful new wife,

577
00:34:52,507 --> 00:34:55,342
my now ex-wife, the bitch,

578
00:34:56,386 --> 00:34:58,429
opened up a nursery.

579
00:34:58,638 --> 00:35:01,640
People started coming out
of the woodwork to ask me stuff

580
00:35:01,850 --> 00:35:04,393
and admire my plants
and admire me.

581
00:35:04,561 --> 00:35:07,396
[THE ROLLING STONES'
"WILD HORSES"
PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]

582
00:35:07,564 --> 00:35:12,026
I think people were spending time
with me because they were lonely.

583
00:35:12,778 --> 00:35:16,947
♪ Couldn't drag me away ♪

584
00:35:18,325 --> 00:35:21,535
And you know why I like plants?
Huh-uh.

585
00:35:21,745 --> 00:35:23,454
♪ Wild, wild horses ♪

586
00:35:23,622 --> 00:35:26,123
Because they're so mutable.

587
00:35:27,709 --> 00:35:31,170
Adaptation's a profound process.

588
00:35:31,588 --> 00:35:33,088
It means you

589
00:35:33,298 --> 00:35:36,717
figure out how to thrive
in the world.

590
00:35:41,139 --> 00:35:46,143
Yeah, but it's easier for plants.
I mean, they have no memory.

591
00:35:47,020 --> 00:35:51,398
You know, they just move on to
whatever's next. But a person, now...

592
00:35:53,109 --> 00:35:56,153
adapting's almost shameful.
I mean, it's like

593
00:35:56,363 --> 00:35:58,781
running away.

594
00:36:00,784 --> 00:36:02,868
♪ No sweeping... ♪♪

595
00:36:17,884 --> 00:36:19,385
[WOMAN LAUGHING]

596
00:36:19,594 --> 00:36:21,470
[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

597
00:36:33,275 --> 00:36:35,609
MAN:
Keener!

598
00:36:47,622 --> 00:36:49,790
DONALD:
Hey, man.

599
00:36:50,292 --> 00:36:52,209
Please don't hit
on crew members, Donald.

600
00:36:52,419 --> 00:36:57,214
What, the makeup girl?
She was hitting on me, bro.
Heh, heh, heh.

601
00:36:57,382 --> 00:36:59,800
Don't embarrass me.
I have to work with these people.

602
00:37:00,010 --> 00:37:03,137
I won't. Anyway, listen,

603
00:37:03,346 --> 00:37:07,224
I meant to ask you,
I need a cool way
to kill people.

604
00:37:09,227 --> 00:37:11,937
Don't worry. For my script.

605
00:37:12,147 --> 00:37:14,273
I don't write that kind of stuff.

606
00:37:14,482 --> 00:37:18,235
Come on, man, please?
You're the genius.

607
00:37:19,237 --> 00:37:21,947
Here you go: The killer's
a literature professor.

608
00:37:22,157 --> 00:37:25,951
He cuts off little chunks from
his victim's bodies until they die.

609
00:37:26,161 --> 00:37:29,371
He calls himself
"The Deconstructionist."

610
00:37:31,041 --> 00:37:35,002
That's kind of good. I like that.
See, I was kidding, Donald.

611
00:37:36,171 --> 00:37:38,714
Oh, okay. Sorry.

612
00:37:38,924 --> 00:37:41,133
You got me. Heh, heh.

613
00:37:42,761 --> 00:37:45,346
Do you mind
if I use it, though?

614
00:37:50,018 --> 00:37:52,645
[CHATTERING]

615
00:37:52,854 --> 00:37:56,607
It's really good.
I tried to split the Cassie scene

616
00:37:56,816 --> 00:38:00,027
from the beginning to the end.
I saw that. Why did you do that?

617
00:38:00,236 --> 00:38:04,073
Because I wanted there to be more
tension. Then you pick it up later...

618
00:38:04,282 --> 00:38:06,742
CAROLINE: But are you changing?
DONALD: Keeps more tension.

619
00:38:06,952 --> 00:38:10,537
That way the audience
gets stuck early on.

620
00:38:10,872 --> 00:38:12,790
You like it?
CAROLINE: I really like it.

621
00:38:13,541 --> 00:38:19,546
MAN [OVER SPEAKERS]:
♪ Oh, it's so funny to be seeing you
After so long, girl ♪

622
00:38:19,798 --> 00:38:21,757
♪ The way you look... ♪

623
00:38:21,925 --> 00:38:24,760
Heh. You look hot tonight, baby.

624
00:38:24,970 --> 00:38:29,014
Thanks, Donald.
That's swell of you to say.

625
00:38:29,724 --> 00:38:33,018
Don't you think she's hot, bro?
I'm heading home, Donald.

626
00:38:33,228 --> 00:38:35,270
Really? Come on.

627
00:38:35,480 --> 00:38:38,190
Hey, it's Amelia.

628
00:38:38,900 --> 00:38:40,150
Hey, Amelia!

629
00:38:40,568 --> 00:38:43,904
Hey, Donald. Hey, Charlie.

630
00:38:44,447 --> 00:38:45,531
Hey. Hi there.

631
00:38:45,699 --> 00:38:49,076
DONALD:
Amelia, we don't see you anymore.
What happened to you?

632
00:38:49,285 --> 00:38:50,411
It's good
to see you.

633
00:38:50,578 --> 00:38:54,623
Oh! This is my girlfriend,
Caroline. She's a makeup artist
for the movies.

634
00:38:54,791 --> 00:38:58,877
Hi.

635
00:38:59,087 --> 00:39:00,713
This is David, my friend.

636
00:39:01,923 --> 00:39:03,716
Hi.
Hey. Nice to meet you.

637
00:39:03,925 --> 00:39:06,552
Amelia's talked a lot about you.
DONALD: Hi, I'm Donald.

638
00:39:06,761 --> 00:39:09,221
Hey.
CAROLINE: Caroline.

639
00:39:09,431 --> 00:39:11,015
DONALD: Cool camera.
So how are you?

640
00:39:11,808 --> 00:39:14,893
You know me, a mess.
Oh, Charlie,

641
00:39:15,103 --> 00:39:17,479
it's really good to see you.
Is the work good?

642
00:39:17,689 --> 00:39:19,773
It's a disaster.
I don't know what I'm doing.

643
00:39:19,983 --> 00:39:22,568
But, anyway, it's my problem.
I don't want to bore you.

644
00:39:22,777 --> 00:39:26,488
You have your stuff, right? I mean,
we both have our own separate stuff.

645
00:39:26,698 --> 00:39:29,491
Anyway, I should go. I was
heading home to do some work.

646
00:39:29,701 --> 00:39:32,911
You coming?
No, I'm gonna stay at Caroline's.

647
00:39:33,121 --> 00:39:35,873
A little push, push
in the bush.

648
00:39:36,082 --> 00:39:39,418
CAROLINE:
Donald, you're such a tard!

649
00:39:39,627 --> 00:39:41,420
DONALD:
See you, Charlie.

650
00:39:41,588 --> 00:39:43,589
[♪♪♪]

651
00:39:46,051 --> 00:39:48,761
KAUFMAN:
To write about a flower,
to dramatize a flower,

652
00:39:48,970 --> 00:39:50,846
I have to show the flower's arc.

653
00:39:51,056 --> 00:39:54,183
And the flower's arc stretches back
to the beginning of life.

654
00:39:54,392 --> 00:39:57,519
How did this flower get here?
What was its journey?

655
00:39:58,229 --> 00:40:01,356
DARWIN:
Therefore, I should infer
from analogy

656
00:40:01,524 --> 00:40:07,321
that probably all the organic beings
which have ever lived on this earth

657
00:40:07,530 --> 00:40:12,785
have descended
from some one primordial form

658
00:40:12,994 --> 00:40:15,829
into which life was first breathed.

659
00:40:16,039 --> 00:40:18,832
KAUFMAN:
It is a journey of evolution.
Adaptation.

660
00:40:19,042 --> 00:40:23,128
The journey we all take.
A journey that unites
each and every one of us.

661
00:40:23,338 --> 00:40:26,799
Darwin writes that we all come from
the very first single-cell organism.

662
00:40:27,342 --> 00:40:28,675
Yet here I am.

663
00:40:28,968 --> 00:40:31,470
And there's Laroche.
There's Orlean.

664
00:40:31,679 --> 00:40:35,265
And there's the ghost orchid.
All trapped in our own bodies,

665
00:40:35,475 --> 00:40:38,519
in moments in history. That's it.

666
00:40:38,728 --> 00:40:42,773
That's what I need to do.
Tie all of history together.

667
00:40:44,734 --> 00:40:47,361
Start right before
life begins on the planet.

668
00:40:47,570 --> 00:40:48,821
All is...

669
00:40:49,030 --> 00:40:51,824
lifeless.
And then, like, life begins, um,

670
00:40:52,033 --> 00:40:54,118
with organisms.
Those single-cell ones.

671
00:40:54,327 --> 00:40:57,287
Oh, and it's before sex, because,
like, everything was asexual.

672
00:40:57,497 --> 00:40:59,832
From there we go to bigger things.
Jellyfish.

673
00:41:00,041 --> 00:41:02,668
Then that fish that got legs
and crawled out on the land.

674
00:41:02,877 --> 00:41:06,130
And then we see,
you know, like, dinosaurs.

675
00:41:06,339 --> 00:41:11,009
Then they're around for a long time.
Then an asteroid comes and "phwar!"

676
00:41:11,219 --> 00:41:14,388
KAUFMAN [ON RECORDING]:
- The insects, the mammals,
the primates, monkeys.

677
00:41:14,597 --> 00:41:18,016
The simple monkeys.
Old-fashioned monkeys
giving way to the new ones.

678
00:41:18,226 --> 00:41:20,686
Whatever. And then apes.
Whatever. And man.

679
00:41:20,895 --> 00:41:25,357
Then we see the history of human
civilization: Hunting, war, love,

680
00:41:25,567 --> 00:41:27,693
heartache, disease,
loneliness, technology.

681
00:41:27,902 --> 00:41:31,738
And we end with Susan Orlean
in her office at The New Yorker

682
00:41:31,948 --> 00:41:34,366
writing about flowers, and bang!
The movie begins.

683
00:41:34,576 --> 00:41:38,120
This is the breakthrough I've been
hoping for. It's never been done.

684
00:41:38,329 --> 00:41:40,164
McKee is a genius!

685
00:41:40,331 --> 00:41:41,373
[TAPE RECORDER CLICKS]

686
00:41:41,875 --> 00:41:46,587
Hilarious. He just comes up
with these great jokes,
and everybody laughs.

687
00:41:47,505 --> 00:41:49,882
But he's serious too, Charles.
You'd love him.

688
00:41:50,091 --> 00:41:52,885
He's all for originality, just like you.

689
00:41:53,094 --> 00:41:56,930
But he says we have to realize
that we all write in a genre

690
00:41:57,140 --> 00:42:00,267
and we must find our originality
within that genre.

691
00:42:00,476 --> 00:42:05,898
See, it turns out, there hasn't
been a new genre since Fellini
invented the mockumentary.

692
00:42:06,107 --> 00:42:08,734
My genre's thriller. What's yours?

693
00:42:08,943 --> 00:42:12,946
You and I
share the same DNA.

694
00:42:13,698 --> 00:42:16,533
Is there anything
more lonely than that?

695
00:42:16,743 --> 00:42:18,118
What'd you say, bro?

696
00:42:18,286 --> 00:42:19,786
[PHONE RINGING]

697
00:42:24,459 --> 00:42:26,460
Yeah?
SUSAN: Hey.

698
00:42:26,669 --> 00:42:29,379
Hey, Susie-Q.

699
00:42:29,589 --> 00:42:30,631
What you up to?

700
00:42:31,132 --> 00:42:34,968
I don't wanna bother you.
Just thought I'd call
and get some more info.

701
00:42:36,095 --> 00:42:40,349
I think you say some
pretty smart things, John.

702
00:42:40,558 --> 00:42:42,476
Yeah, smartest guy I know, huh?

703
00:42:45,480 --> 00:42:47,606
So...

704
00:42:47,815 --> 00:42:50,567
whatever happened
to your nursery?

705
00:42:54,113 --> 00:42:56,406
It was going pretty well.

706
00:42:56,616 --> 00:43:01,411
But, you know, sometimes bad
things happen, darkness descends.

707
00:43:10,713 --> 00:43:12,631
Nursery business good,
Johnny?

708
00:43:12,840 --> 00:43:15,092
LAROCHE:
Everything's good, Uncle Jim.

709
00:43:15,301 --> 00:43:17,678
This last year's been a dream.

710
00:43:17,887 --> 00:43:20,639
I'm telling you.
Finally pulling out of debt.

711
00:43:20,848 --> 00:43:23,850
Amen, honey.
I'm so proud of you two, and...

712
00:43:24,727 --> 00:43:25,894
[TIRES SCREECHING]

713
00:43:29,857 --> 00:43:31,733
[LAROCHE PANTING]

714
00:43:39,242 --> 00:43:40,284
[VEHICLE BEEPING]

715
00:43:40,868 --> 00:43:42,828
MAN 1:
No, ma'am. I'm sorry,
I can't answer that.

716
00:43:43,037 --> 00:43:44,663
MAN 2: Stay right there.
Hey.

717
00:43:46,082 --> 00:43:48,959
Hold it. Which ones are dead?
MAN 3: Sir, please, don't move.

718
00:43:49,168 --> 00:43:53,213
Which ones are dead?
MAN 4: Let's move it!

719
00:43:56,884 --> 00:44:01,680
LAROCHE:
I killed my mom, you know,
and my uncle.

720
00:44:01,848 --> 00:44:05,726
Um, that's how I lost
my front teeth.

721
00:44:07,854 --> 00:44:12,691
And my wife was in a coma
for like three weeks.

722
00:44:13,526 --> 00:44:17,237
And she divorced me soon after
she regained consciousness.

723
00:44:17,405 --> 00:44:19,448
[♪♪♪]

724
00:44:27,623 --> 00:44:29,082
[SIGHS]

725
00:44:30,877 --> 00:44:36,423
Well, I think if I almost died,
I would leave my marriage too.

726
00:44:38,343 --> 00:44:40,260
Why?

727
00:44:40,762 --> 00:44:43,055
Because I could.

728
00:44:43,264 --> 00:44:47,184
Because it's like a free pass.
Nobody can judge you

729
00:44:47,393 --> 00:44:50,729
if you almost died.

730
00:44:50,938 --> 00:44:53,690
Well, I judged her.

731
00:44:54,984 --> 00:44:57,110
Maybe I was being judged too.

732
00:44:59,030 --> 00:45:03,575
It was like a month after that,
Hurricane Andrew came and just

733
00:45:03,785 --> 00:45:06,203
swooped down
like an angel of God...

734
00:45:08,247 --> 00:45:12,042
and just wiped out
everything I had left.

735
00:45:13,544 --> 00:45:15,545
Everything.

736
00:45:15,755 --> 00:45:19,257
I knew it'd break my heart
to start another nursery,

737
00:45:19,467 --> 00:45:22,302
so, you know,
when the Seminoles called,

738
00:45:22,512 --> 00:45:27,974
wanted a white guy or an expert to
get their nursery going, I took the job.

739
00:45:28,184 --> 00:45:33,105
I wasn't gonna give them a
conventional little potted-plant place.

740
00:45:33,815 --> 00:45:35,941
I was gonna give them
something

741
00:45:36,150 --> 00:45:38,860
amazing, you know?

742
00:45:39,070 --> 00:45:42,280
Yeah, I know, John.

743
00:45:43,324 --> 00:45:44,699
I know.

744
00:45:44,909 --> 00:45:47,661
VALERIE:
"I was going to give them
something amazing."

745
00:45:50,081 --> 00:45:53,125
It's beautifully written.
You have such a unique voice.

746
00:45:53,334 --> 00:45:55,961
Thank you very much.
Ahem.

747
00:45:56,170 --> 00:45:59,297
We're big fans.
Oh, thank you.

748
00:45:59,507 --> 00:46:02,134
Laroche is such
a fun character.

749
00:46:03,136 --> 00:46:05,512
Yeah.
It's funny and fresh.

750
00:46:05,888 --> 00:46:08,265
And sad in a way.

751
00:46:08,516 --> 00:46:10,475
So we were wondering
what's next.

752
00:46:10,685 --> 00:46:13,687
Well, Random House
has asked me

753
00:46:13,896 --> 00:46:16,481
to expand it into a book,
so I'm gonna be doing that.

754
00:46:16,691 --> 00:46:19,693
And...
Susan, we would like to option this.

755
00:46:21,988 --> 00:46:25,198
You wanna make it into a movie?
Into a movie.

756
00:46:25,408 --> 00:46:27,159
Ha, ha, ha. Oh, God!

757
00:46:28,244 --> 00:46:31,121
That's really...
How does that sound?

758
00:46:31,330 --> 00:46:33,165
That's very exciting.
Good.

759
00:46:33,374 --> 00:46:37,335
It's just comical. I hadn't
thought of it. I've never
written a screenplay before.

760
00:46:37,545 --> 00:46:41,506
Don't worry about that.
We have screenwriters
to write the screenplay.

761
00:46:43,676 --> 00:46:45,177
[MACHINE BEEPS]

762
00:46:45,720 --> 00:46:48,263
MAN [ON MESSAGE]:
Hey, superstar.
It's Marty, super agent.

763
00:46:48,473 --> 00:46:51,308
I just wanna remind you
it's been 13 weeks

764
00:46:51,517 --> 00:46:53,351
and Valerie's anxious
to see a draft.

765
00:46:53,561 --> 00:46:56,730
If you could wrap things up, get
it to her by Monday, that'd be great.

766
00:46:56,939 --> 00:47:00,275
Call me when you get this.
Adiós, amigo.

767
00:47:03,070 --> 00:47:04,196
[VALERIE LAUGHS]

768
00:47:04,363 --> 00:47:08,366
What? What'd you laugh at?

769
00:47:09,619 --> 00:47:11,536
You're a genius.
Which line?

770
00:47:11,746 --> 00:47:13,371
You're a genius.
You're a genius.

771
00:47:13,539 --> 00:47:15,207
[MOANING]

772
00:47:15,416 --> 00:47:17,209
[KAUFMAN GRUNTING]

773
00:47:20,129 --> 00:47:22,422
[KAUFMAN PANTING]

774
00:47:30,014 --> 00:47:32,015
[♪♪♪]

775
00:47:36,020 --> 00:47:37,979
[TURNS TYPEWRITER ON]

776
00:47:39,732 --> 00:47:42,108
KAUFMAN:
"We see orchid hunter
Augustus Margary.

777
00:47:42,318 --> 00:47:46,780
He wears a filthy, spittle-soaked rag
around his head to quell the pain.

778
00:47:46,989 --> 00:47:50,659
The back of his trousers are stained
greasy black from an anal leakage

779
00:47:50,868 --> 00:47:52,410
due to dysentery.

780
00:47:52,620 --> 00:47:58,250
He moans with each tentative step
through the overgrown jungle."

781
00:47:58,501 --> 00:47:59,918
I'm fucked.

782
00:48:00,127 --> 00:48:04,130
We open with Laroche. He's funny.
He says, "I love to mutate plants."

783
00:48:04,340 --> 00:48:07,259
He says, "Mutation is fun."
Okay, we show flowers and... Okay.

784
00:48:07,468 --> 00:48:09,261
We have to have the case.
Show Laroche.

785
00:48:09,470 --> 00:48:12,180
He says, "I was mutated as a baby.
It's why I'm so smart."

786
00:48:12,390 --> 00:48:16,601
That's funny. Okay, we open
at the beginning of time. No!
Laroche is driving into the swamp.

787
00:48:16,769 --> 00:48:18,562
Crazy White Man!
Aah!

788
00:48:20,356 --> 00:48:22,941
[DONALD & CAROLINE
CHATTERING AND LAUGHING]

789
00:48:24,777 --> 00:48:27,946
I don't know how to adapt this.
I should've stuck with my own stuff.

790
00:48:28,155 --> 00:48:30,198
Don't know why I thought
I could write this.

791
00:48:30,408 --> 00:48:31,616
See her?

792
00:48:32,493 --> 00:48:34,911
I fucked her up the ass.

793
00:48:35,121 --> 00:48:37,205
No. I'm kidding.

794
00:48:37,373 --> 00:48:38,665
Um...

795
00:48:39,500 --> 00:48:41,918
Maybe I can help.

796
00:48:47,800 --> 00:48:50,594
It's about flowers.

797
00:48:51,137 --> 00:48:53,680
Okay. Um...

798
00:48:53,848 --> 00:48:57,934
But it's not only about flowers, right?
You have the crazy plant-nut guy?

799
00:48:58,144 --> 00:49:00,520
He's funny. Right?

800
00:49:04,275 --> 00:49:07,652
"There's not nearly enough of him
to fill a book."

801
00:49:07,862 --> 00:49:12,657
So Orlean "digresses in long
passages." Blah, blah, blah.

802
00:49:12,867 --> 00:49:15,869
"No narrative unites these passages."
New York Times Book Review.

803
00:49:16,078 --> 00:49:19,247
I can't structure this.
It's that sprawling New Yorker shit.

804
00:49:19,457 --> 00:49:21,541
Oh, man, I'd fuck her up the ass.

805
00:49:24,045 --> 00:49:26,963
Sorry.
The book has no story.

806
00:49:27,173 --> 00:49:29,090
All right. Make one up.

807
00:49:29,300 --> 00:49:33,011
I mean, nobody in this town
can make up a crazy story like you.

808
00:49:33,220 --> 00:49:37,265
You're the king of that.
No, I didn't want to do that this time.

809
00:49:37,475 --> 00:49:41,853
It's someone else's material.
I have a responsibility to Susan...

810
00:49:42,063 --> 00:49:46,191
Anyway, I wanted to grow as a writer.
I wanted to do something simple.

811
00:49:46,400 --> 00:49:49,569
Show people how amazing
flowers are.

812
00:49:50,279 --> 00:49:52,030
Are they amazing?

813
00:49:54,367 --> 00:49:57,869
I don't know. I think they are.

814
00:49:58,037 --> 00:49:59,454
[CHUCKLES]

815
00:50:01,415 --> 00:50:04,376
I need you to get me out of this.
All right.

816
00:50:05,920 --> 00:50:08,505
Charlie, you've been stringing
them along for months.

817
00:50:08,714 --> 00:50:13,343
Not to give them anything
at this point would be
a terrible career move.

818
00:50:17,264 --> 00:50:19,057
[KEYBOARD CLACKING]

819
00:50:21,769 --> 00:50:23,895
Hey, my script's going amazing.

820
00:50:24,105 --> 00:50:26,272
Right now, I'm working out
an image system.

821
00:50:26,482 --> 00:50:29,526
Because of my multiple personality
theme, I've chosen a motif

822
00:50:29,735 --> 00:50:33,738
of broken mirrors to show my
protagonist's fragmented self.

823
00:50:33,948 --> 00:50:38,201
Bob says an image system
increases the complexity
of an aesthetic emotion.

824
00:50:38,411 --> 00:50:40,537
Bob says...
You sound like you're in a cult.

825
00:50:40,746 --> 00:50:43,832
No, it's just good
writing technique.

826
00:50:44,041 --> 00:50:47,252
I made you a copy
of McKee's 10 Commandments.

827
00:50:47,461 --> 00:50:49,921
I posted one over
both our work areas.

828
00:50:59,765 --> 00:51:01,766
You shouldn't have done that.

829
00:51:04,019 --> 00:51:08,064
Because it's extremely helpful.
Hey, Charles, I'm putting a song on.

830
00:51:08,274 --> 00:51:09,524
"Happy Together."

831
00:51:09,734 --> 00:51:12,652
Like when characters sing
in their pajamas and dance around.

832
00:51:12,862 --> 00:51:14,571
I thought it'd break the tension.

833
00:51:14,780 --> 00:51:18,074
At first I was nervous
about putting a song in a thriller,

834
00:51:18,284 --> 00:51:22,829
but Bob says that Casablanca,
one of the greatest screenplays
ever written,

835
00:51:23,038 --> 00:51:26,124
did exactly that. Mixed genres.

836
00:51:26,333 --> 00:51:28,460
I haven't slept in a week,
Donald.

837
00:51:28,669 --> 00:51:31,588
I need to go to bed.
Oh. Okay.

838
00:51:32,173 --> 00:51:33,965
Good night.

839
00:51:36,135 --> 00:51:38,136
[♪♪♪]

840
00:51:38,929 --> 00:51:39,971
[LINE CONNECTS]

841
00:51:40,139 --> 00:51:42,640
LAROCHE: Yeah?
Hi.

842
00:51:42,850 --> 00:51:44,851
John, it's Susan again.

843
00:51:45,060 --> 00:51:47,270
Hey, Susie-Q.

844
00:51:47,438 --> 00:51:48,980
Um...

845
00:51:49,190 --> 00:51:50,857
How's it going?

846
00:51:51,233 --> 00:51:54,277
Great. I'm training myself
on the Internet.

847
00:51:54,862 --> 00:51:57,155
It's fascinating.
I'm doing pornography.

848
00:51:57,364 --> 00:52:01,326
It's amazing how much these suckers
will pay for photographs of chicks.

849
00:52:01,535 --> 00:52:05,330
It doesn't matter if they're fat
or ugly or what.

850
00:52:05,539 --> 00:52:07,165
Well, that sounds good.

851
00:52:07,374 --> 00:52:10,001
It's great, is what it is.

852
00:52:10,211 --> 00:52:14,631
Listen, John, I hate feeling like
I'm being a pain to you, but I...

853
00:52:14,840 --> 00:52:16,674
I still haven't seen a ghost.

854
00:52:16,926 --> 00:52:21,513
Yeah?
And I was hoping maybe you'd...

855
00:52:21,722 --> 00:52:22,972
Yeah.

856
00:52:23,182 --> 00:52:24,891
Yeah, I'll take you in.

857
00:52:25,100 --> 00:52:27,852
Tomorrow.
Really?

858
00:52:28,854 --> 00:52:32,190
Thank you so much.

859
00:52:32,399 --> 00:52:33,900
Oh, John.

860
00:52:34,944 --> 00:52:36,569
KAUFMAN:
Damn it.

861
00:52:48,249 --> 00:52:51,876
ORLEAN:
There are too many ideas
and things and people.

862
00:52:52,086 --> 00:52:53,962
Too many directions to go.

863
00:52:54,171 --> 00:52:58,842
I was starting to believe the reason
it matters to care about something

864
00:52:59,176 --> 00:53:01,261
is that it whittles the world down

865
00:53:01,470 --> 00:53:05,056
to a more manageable size.

866
00:53:05,266 --> 00:53:09,102
Such sweet, sad insights.

867
00:53:10,271 --> 00:53:12,647
So true.

868
00:53:18,028 --> 00:53:20,029
[♪♪♪]

869
00:53:25,703 --> 00:53:28,621
I like looking at you.

870
00:53:30,040 --> 00:53:32,876
ORLEAN:
I like looking at you too, Charlie.

871
00:53:37,715 --> 00:53:39,299
[PANTING]

872
00:53:44,388 --> 00:53:46,723
[♪♪♪]

873
00:53:55,357 --> 00:53:57,400
[BOTH MOANING]

874
00:54:10,831 --> 00:54:12,498
I don't know how to do this.

875
00:54:13,042 --> 00:54:15,960
I'm afraid I'll disappoint you.

876
00:54:16,170 --> 00:54:19,339
You've written a beautiful book.

877
00:54:19,548 --> 00:54:22,175
I can't sleep.

878
00:54:23,719 --> 00:54:26,763
I'm losing my hair.
I'm fat and repulsive.

879
00:54:26,972 --> 00:54:30,516
ORLEAN:
Shh. You're not. You're not.

880
00:54:31,685 --> 00:54:36,105
Just whittle it down, you know?

881
00:54:36,315 --> 00:54:38,775
Focus on one thing in the story.

882
00:54:39,443 --> 00:54:41,945
Find that one thing

883
00:54:42,154 --> 00:54:45,490
that you care passionately about

884
00:54:45,699 --> 00:54:47,742
and then write about that.

885
00:54:47,952 --> 00:54:51,162
We see Susan Orlean:
Delicate, haunted by loneliness,

886
00:54:51,372 --> 00:54:52,830
fragile, beautiful.

887
00:54:53,040 --> 00:54:56,876
She lies awake next to her sleeping,
insensitive husband.

888
00:54:57,086 --> 00:54:58,294
Her voice-over begins,

889
00:54:58,837 --> 00:55:02,632
"I suppose I do have one
unembarrassed passion.

890
00:55:03,217 --> 00:55:07,303
I want to know how it feels to care
about something passionately."

891
00:55:07,471 --> 00:55:08,846
[FOOTSTEPS]

892
00:55:10,891 --> 00:55:13,184
Hey.
DONALD: Morning.

893
00:55:13,394 --> 00:55:17,897
Hey, you two.
Up early for a change?

894
00:55:18,107 --> 00:55:22,610
You seem chipper.
I'm good. I have some new ideas.

895
00:55:22,820 --> 00:55:27,699
God, you guys are so smart.
It's like a brain factory in here.

896
00:55:27,908 --> 00:55:32,537
I got some ideas too this morning.
He got really, really good ones.

897
00:55:32,746 --> 00:55:35,081
You know,
in a Donald sort of way.

898
00:55:35,290 --> 00:55:37,917
I'm putting...
Hey! What?

899
00:55:40,087 --> 00:55:44,549
I'm putting in a chase sequence.
So the killer flees on horseback
with the girl.

900
00:55:44,717 --> 00:55:46,592
Cop's after them on a motorcycle.

901
00:55:46,802 --> 00:55:49,429
And it's like a battle between
motors and horses.

902
00:55:49,638 --> 00:55:52,390
Like technology versus horse.

903
00:55:52,599 --> 00:55:54,934
And they're still
all one person, right?

904
00:55:55,519 --> 00:55:57,520
Well, that's the big payoff.

905
00:55:57,730 --> 00:56:00,481
It sounds exciting.
Thanks, man.

906
00:56:00,691 --> 00:56:03,735
Thanks.
See, I told you he was gonna like it.

907
00:56:04,319 --> 00:56:09,115
DONALD: You're my muse. You are.
CAROLINE: I love being your muse.

908
00:56:09,575 --> 00:56:12,118
DONALD:
I'm so happy about that.

909
00:56:13,537 --> 00:56:16,039
I'm picking up
an order for Kaufman.

910
00:56:31,138 --> 00:56:32,680
Oh.

911
00:56:34,266 --> 00:56:36,100
Valerie.
Hi, Charlie.

912
00:56:36,310 --> 00:56:38,227
It's quite a coincidence
bumping into you.

913
00:56:38,437 --> 00:56:41,022
I'm sorry I didn't call you back.
I was away last week.

914
00:56:41,231 --> 00:56:43,149
That's okay.
I meant to because

915
00:56:43,358 --> 00:56:45,777
things are going well,
and I wanted you to know.

916
00:56:45,986 --> 00:56:48,112
That's great.
I'm anxious to see something.

917
00:56:48,322 --> 00:56:50,823
You should sit because
I'm here with Susan right now.

918
00:56:51,033 --> 00:56:53,659
She's dying to meet you,
so it's funny bumping into you.

919
00:56:53,869 --> 00:56:55,453
Have a seat.
Susan Orlean's here?

920
00:56:55,662 --> 00:57:00,291
Yeah, she's here in town
for a reading or something.
She's just on the phone.

921
00:57:01,251 --> 00:57:04,003
Sit down. Have a seat.
She's dying to meet you.

922
00:57:04,546 --> 00:57:09,383
Oh, um, um... Well, I should
probably go, because...

923
00:57:09,593 --> 00:57:11,385
Well, I'd love to meet her too,

924
00:57:11,595 --> 00:57:14,597
but I don't want to be beholden.
And, well...

925
00:57:14,807 --> 00:57:17,600
Once you meet somebody
that you've been writing about,

926
00:57:17,810 --> 00:57:20,186
it becomes very hard
to separate. So...

927
00:57:20,395 --> 00:57:22,980
Well, okay, I'll speak to you soon.
And I'm almost done.

928
00:57:23,190 --> 00:57:24,232
I'm almost done.

929
00:57:24,441 --> 00:57:27,360
Tell Susan that I would love
to meet with her at a future date.

930
00:57:27,569 --> 00:57:29,153
As she sees fit.
Okay.

931
00:57:32,366 --> 00:57:34,659
KAUFMAN:
Who am I kidding?
This isn't Susan Orlean's story.

932
00:57:34,868 --> 00:57:37,286
I have no connection with her.
I can't even meet her.

933
00:57:37,496 --> 00:57:40,706
I have no understanding of anything
but my own panic, self-loathing

934
00:57:40,916 --> 00:57:42,500
and pathetic, little existence.

935
00:57:42,709 --> 00:57:46,420
The only thing I'm qualified to write
about is myself and my own self...

936
00:57:46,630 --> 00:57:48,172
We open on Charlie Kaufman.

937
00:57:48,382 --> 00:57:52,218
Fat, old, bald, repulsive,
sitting in a Hollywood restaurant

938
00:57:52,427 --> 00:57:57,431
across from Valerie Thomas,
a lovely, statuesque film executive.

939
00:57:57,641 --> 00:58:00,434
Kaufman, trying to get
a writing assignment,

940
00:58:00,644 --> 00:58:03,688
wanting to impress her,
sweats profusely.

941
00:58:07,067 --> 00:58:12,238
Fat, bald Kaufman
paces furiously in his bedroom.

942
00:58:12,447 --> 00:58:16,033
He speaks into his hand-held
tape recorder, and he says,

943
00:58:18,579 --> 00:58:20,746
"Charlie Kaufman, fat, bald,
repulsive, old,

944
00:58:20,956 --> 00:58:23,457
sits at a Hollywood restaurant
with Valerie Thomas."

945
00:58:23,667 --> 00:58:25,376
[ON RECORDING]
Kaufman, repugnant, ridiculous,

946
00:58:25,586 --> 00:58:28,045
jerks off to the book jacket photo
of Susan Or...

947
00:58:28,255 --> 00:58:29,714
What do you want?

948
00:58:29,923 --> 00:58:31,549
I've finished my script.

949
00:58:32,384 --> 00:58:33,801
I'm done.

950
00:58:36,471 --> 00:58:38,556
So would you show it
to your agent?

951
00:58:39,933 --> 00:58:42,101
It's called The Three.

952
00:58:46,773 --> 00:58:48,983
Thanks. I also want to
thank you for your idea.

953
00:58:49,193 --> 00:58:51,235
It was very helpful.
I changed it a little.

954
00:58:51,445 --> 00:58:55,031
Now the killer cuts off body pieces
and makes his victims eat them.

955
00:58:55,240 --> 00:58:58,409
Caroline has this tattoo of a snake
swallowing its own tail, and...

956
00:58:58,619 --> 00:59:01,662
Ouroboros.
I don't know what that means.

957
00:59:01,872 --> 00:59:04,081
The snake.
It's called Ouroboros.

958
00:59:04,291 --> 00:59:07,585
Don't think so. It's cool for my killer
to have this modus operandi.

959
00:59:07,794 --> 00:59:10,588
When he forces the woman
who's him to eat herself

960
00:59:10,797 --> 00:59:12,423
he's eating himself to death.

961
00:59:12,633 --> 00:59:13,966
I'm insane.

962
00:59:14,468 --> 00:59:17,220
I'm Ouroboros.
I don't know what that word means.

963
00:59:17,429 --> 00:59:19,555
I've written myself
into my screenplay.

964
00:59:19,723 --> 00:59:21,182
That's kind of weird, huh?

965
00:59:21,391 --> 00:59:24,268
It's self-indulgent.
It's narcissistic.

966
00:59:24,478 --> 00:59:26,896
It's solipsistic.
It's pathetic.

967
00:59:27,105 --> 00:59:29,023
I'm pathetic.
I'm fat and pathetic.

968
00:59:29,233 --> 00:59:32,777
I'm sure you had good reasons,
Charles. You're an artist.

969
00:59:32,986 --> 00:59:36,155
It's because I'm too timid to speak
to the woman who wrote the book.

970
00:59:36,365 --> 00:59:38,157
Because I'm pathetic.

971
00:59:38,367 --> 00:59:42,370
Because I have no idea how to write.
I can't make flowers fascinating.

972
00:59:43,038 --> 00:59:44,497
Because I suck.

973
00:59:44,706 --> 00:59:47,667
Hey, am I in the script?
I'm going to New York.

974
00:59:48,752 --> 00:59:51,128
I'll meet her. That's it.
That's what I have to do.

975
00:59:51,338 --> 00:59:52,880
Don't get mad at me
for saying,

976
00:59:53,090 --> 00:59:55,591
but Bob's having a seminar
in New York this weekend.

977
00:59:55,801 --> 00:59:57,635
So if you're stuck...

978
00:59:58,428 --> 01:00:02,306
And she said, "Laroche
is such a fun character."

979
01:00:02,516 --> 01:00:04,809
No shit, I'm a fun character.

980
01:00:05,018 --> 01:00:06,227
Who's gonna play me?

981
01:00:06,436 --> 01:00:08,562
Well, I've gotta write
the book first, John.

982
01:00:08,772 --> 01:00:11,565
Then, you know, they get
somebody to write the screenplay.

983
01:00:11,775 --> 01:00:14,026
Hey, I think I should play me.
Ha, ha, ha.

984
01:00:14,403 --> 01:00:19,657
ORLEAN:
Most people yearn for something
exceptional, something so inspiring

985
01:00:19,866 --> 01:00:24,954
they'd want to risk everything for
that passion, but few would act on it.

986
01:00:25,163 --> 01:00:28,291
It was very powerful,

987
01:00:28,500 --> 01:00:32,795
and it's intoxicating to be
around someone so alive.

988
01:00:33,005 --> 01:00:35,923
Come on, just follow me.
They're right nearby.

989
01:00:36,258 --> 01:00:37,800
Okay.

990
01:00:38,135 --> 01:00:40,219
[♪♪♪]

991
01:00:48,895 --> 01:00:51,147
Can I ask you
a personal question?

992
01:00:51,356 --> 01:00:54,066
Look, we're not lost.

993
01:01:00,240 --> 01:01:02,241
[♪♪♪]

994
01:01:12,377 --> 01:01:14,003
[WATER SPLASHES]

995
01:01:14,629 --> 01:01:16,922
I've done this a million times.

996
01:01:17,132 --> 01:01:21,385
When everything is killing me,
I just say, "Screw it,"
and go straight ahead.

997
01:01:30,479 --> 01:01:32,104
Oh, fuck...

998
01:01:37,652 --> 01:01:39,111
Sundial.

999
01:01:40,155 --> 01:01:43,115
I'll just set this up,
we'll wait a few minutes,

1000
01:01:43,325 --> 01:01:46,410
and then we'll be able to tell
which way the sun's moving.

1001
01:01:46,620 --> 01:01:49,205
We should be headed southeast.

1002
01:01:53,835 --> 01:01:56,921
So you collect anything?

1003
01:01:57,130 --> 01:01:58,964
ORLEAN:
Not really, no.

1004
01:01:59,800 --> 01:02:02,093
Yeah, well, you know,

1005
01:02:02,302 --> 01:02:04,970
it's not really about
collecting the thing.

1006
01:02:05,180 --> 01:02:08,599
It's about being able...

1007
01:02:11,061 --> 01:02:13,270
The thing about computers,
the thing I like,

1008
01:02:13,480 --> 01:02:15,064
is that I'm immersed in them,

1009
01:02:15,273 --> 01:02:19,985
but it's not like a living thing that's
gonna leave or die or something.

1010
01:02:26,910 --> 01:02:29,662
John, I'm sorry. I just...
Okay.

1011
01:02:30,497 --> 01:02:32,415
I don't...
Hey. Okay.

1012
01:02:32,624 --> 01:02:34,208
Fuck the sundial.

1013
01:02:34,418 --> 01:02:37,378
I know how to get out of here.
I know how to get out of here.

1014
01:02:37,587 --> 01:02:40,464
I know this swamp like
the back of my goddamn hand.

1015
01:02:40,674 --> 01:02:43,217
You're just like everybody else.
Fucking leeches.

1016
01:02:43,427 --> 01:02:47,388
You just attach yourself to me
and suck me dry, spit me out.

1017
01:02:47,597 --> 01:02:50,808
Why don't you get your own life?
Your own fucking interests?

1018
01:02:51,017 --> 01:02:53,477
Fucking spoiled bitch.

1019
01:02:53,645 --> 01:02:55,646
[♪♪♪]

1020
01:02:58,775 --> 01:03:04,321
ORLEAN:
Life seemed to be filled with things
that were just like the ghost orchid.

1021
01:03:04,531 --> 01:03:08,951
Wonderful to imagine
and easy to fall in love with,

1022
01:03:09,661 --> 01:03:11,996
but a little fantastic

1023
01:03:12,205 --> 01:03:14,039
and fleeting

1024
01:03:14,749 --> 01:03:16,542
and out of reach.

1025
01:03:20,046 --> 01:03:23,174
[♪♪♪]

1026
01:03:28,513 --> 01:03:33,058
KAUFMAN:
"...but a little fantastic
and fleeting and out of reach."

1027
01:03:39,816 --> 01:03:42,067
[♪♪♪]

1028
01:04:01,880 --> 01:04:11,305
[ELEVATOR DINGS]

1029
01:04:43,922 --> 01:04:44,964
[BABBLES]

1030
01:05:01,648 --> 01:05:02,773
[ELEVATOR DINGS]

1031
01:05:07,320 --> 01:05:09,863
[PHONE RINGING]

1032
01:05:13,410 --> 01:05:14,618
Hello?

1033
01:05:14,828 --> 01:05:16,745
Hey, it's Marty. How's it going?

1034
01:05:16,955 --> 01:05:19,748
Has it been helpful talking
to the writer? What's her name?

1035
01:05:19,958 --> 01:05:21,917
Susan Orlean. It's been okay.

1036
01:05:22,085 --> 01:05:25,838
Uh-huh. Well, I mean,
are you making headway?

1037
01:05:26,047 --> 01:05:28,090
Valerie's breathing down my neck.

1038
01:05:29,050 --> 01:05:32,970
You can't rush inspiration.
Okay. All right. Fair enough.

1039
01:05:33,179 --> 01:05:36,557
Listen, the other reason
I called was The Three.

1040
01:05:37,350 --> 01:05:38,809
It's just amazing.

1041
01:05:39,519 --> 01:05:41,979
I don't know what that is.
Donald's script.

1042
01:05:42,188 --> 01:05:45,899
A smart, edgy thriller.
It's the best script I've read all year.

1043
01:05:50,030 --> 01:05:51,363
Oh.

1044
01:05:52,032 --> 01:05:54,867
Good.
Yeah, I'm gonna sell it for a shitload.

1045
01:05:55,076 --> 01:05:57,745
Two fucking talented guys
in one family.

1046
01:05:57,954 --> 01:06:01,498
Maybe you could get your brother
to help you with the orchid thing.

1047
01:06:01,708 --> 01:06:06,420
Marty, don't say that. I mean...
All right. It's just a thought, buddy.

1048
01:06:06,630 --> 01:06:10,174
I mean, he's really
goddamn amazing at structure.

1049
01:06:10,383 --> 01:06:12,676
I have to go.
All right. Adiós, amigo.

1050
01:06:12,886 --> 01:06:14,136
Finish that...

1051
01:06:18,475 --> 01:06:19,892
Fuck!

1052
01:06:23,980 --> 01:06:25,981
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]

1053
01:06:29,361 --> 01:06:31,570
McKEE:
Okay, thank you, thank you.

1054
01:06:31,780 --> 01:06:34,490
We have a long three days ahead.

1055
01:06:34,699 --> 01:06:39,161
Years from now, you'll be at a posh
cocktail party congratulating yourself

1056
01:06:39,371 --> 01:06:45,084
on how you spent
a weekend with an asshole
from Hollywood for your art.

1057
01:06:45,585 --> 01:06:47,419
KAUFMAN:
I am pathetic. I am a loser.

1058
01:06:47,587 --> 01:06:51,048
So, what is the substance
of writing?

1059
01:06:51,257 --> 01:06:54,551
I have failed. I am panicked.
I have sold out. I am worthless.

1060
01:06:54,761 --> 01:06:57,471
I... What the fuck am I doing here?

1061
01:06:57,681 --> 01:06:59,640
What the fuck
am I doing here? Fuck!

1062
01:06:59,849 --> 01:07:04,061
It is my weakness, my ultimate lack
of conviction that brings me here.

1063
01:07:04,270 --> 01:07:07,106
Easy answers,
rules to shortcut yourself to success.

1064
01:07:07,315 --> 01:07:10,526
And here I am because my jaunt
into the abyss brought me nothing.

1065
01:07:10,735 --> 01:07:13,779
Well, isn't that the risk one takes
for attempting something new?

1066
01:07:13,988 --> 01:07:17,783
I should leave right now.
I'll start over. I need to face
this project head-on...

1067
01:07:17,992 --> 01:07:21,412
And God help you if you use
voice-over in your work, my friends.

1068
01:07:21,621 --> 01:07:25,207
God help you.
It's flaccid, sloppy writing.

1069
01:07:25,917 --> 01:07:30,254
Any idiot can write narration to
explain the thoughts of the character.

1070
01:07:30,463 --> 01:07:32,214
Okay, that's it.
One hour for lunch.

1071
01:07:36,428 --> 01:07:39,263
McKEE:
You cannot have a protagonist
without desire.

1072
01:07:39,472 --> 01:07:43,142
It doesn't make any sense.
Any fucking sense.

1073
01:07:44,102 --> 01:07:46,812
You follow? Good.

1074
01:07:47,063 --> 01:07:48,439
Anyone else?

1075
01:07:52,569 --> 01:07:53,652
Yes?

1076
01:07:53,820 --> 01:07:58,532
What if a writer is attempting
to create a story where nothing
much happens?

1077
01:07:58,742 --> 01:08:02,035
Where people don't change,
they don't have any epiphanies.

1078
01:08:02,245 --> 01:08:05,956
They struggle and are frustrated,
and nothing is resolved.

1079
01:08:06,166 --> 01:08:08,333
More a reflection
of the real world.

1080
01:08:08,960 --> 01:08:10,669
The real world?

1081
01:08:11,171 --> 01:08:12,379
Yes, sir.

1082
01:08:12,589 --> 01:08:14,673
The real fucking world.

1083
01:08:14,883 --> 01:08:18,510
First of all, you write a screenplay
without conflict or crisis,

1084
01:08:18,720 --> 01:08:20,888
you'll bore your audience to tears.

1085
01:08:21,097 --> 01:08:24,808
Secondly, nothing happens
in the world?

1086
01:08:25,810 --> 01:08:28,604
Are you out of your fucking mind?

1087
01:08:29,689 --> 01:08:31,690
People are murdered every day.

1088
01:08:32,192 --> 01:08:34,985
There's genocide, war, corruption.

1089
01:08:35,195 --> 01:08:37,780
Every fucking day,
somewhere in the world,

1090
01:08:37,989 --> 01:08:40,324
somebody sacrifices his life
to save somebody.

1091
01:08:40,533 --> 01:08:43,911
Every day, someone somewhere
takes a conscious decision

1092
01:08:44,120 --> 01:08:46,538
to destroy someone else.

1093
01:08:46,748 --> 01:08:48,999
People find love.
People lose it.

1094
01:08:49,209 --> 01:08:53,754
A child watches a mother beaten
to death on the steps of a church.

1095
01:08:53,963 --> 01:08:55,380
Someone goes hungry.

1096
01:08:55,590 --> 01:08:58,884
Somebody else betrays
his best friend for a woman.

1097
01:08:59,427 --> 01:09:01,845
If you can't find that stuff in life,

1098
01:09:02,055 --> 01:09:05,224
then you, my friend,
don't know crap about life!

1099
01:09:05,433 --> 01:09:11,104
And why the fuck are you wasting my
two precious hours with your movie?

1100
01:09:12,023 --> 01:09:14,024
I don't have any use for it!

1101
01:09:14,234 --> 01:09:17,903
I don't have any
bloody use for it!

1102
01:09:19,614 --> 01:09:21,073
Okay, thanks.

1103
01:09:24,744 --> 01:09:26,161
Thank you.
You're welcome.

1104
01:09:26,371 --> 01:09:27,704
No. Thank you.

1105
01:09:27,914 --> 01:09:29,915
WOMAN 1:
Thank you so much, Mr. McKee.

1106
01:09:31,125 --> 01:09:35,087
WOMAN 2:
This course makes you look at
writing in a whole different way.

1107
01:09:36,673 --> 01:09:38,507
Mr. McKee.
Yes?

1108
01:09:38,716 --> 01:09:42,010
I'm the guy you yelled at
this morning.

1109
01:09:43,680 --> 01:09:44,930
I need more.

1110
01:09:45,181 --> 01:09:48,600
I'm the one who thought
things didn't happen in life.

1111
01:09:48,768 --> 01:09:51,395
Ah. Right. Okay.

1112
01:09:51,604 --> 01:09:53,772
Nice to see you.
I need to talk.

1113
01:09:55,650 --> 01:09:58,068
Mr. McKee, my even
standing here is very scary.

1114
01:09:58,278 --> 01:09:59,570
I don't meet people well.

1115
01:09:59,779 --> 01:10:02,322
But what you said this morning
shook me to the bone.

1116
01:10:02,532 --> 01:10:04,741
It was bigger than
my screenwriting choices.

1117
01:10:04,951 --> 01:10:08,245
It was about my choices
as a human being. Please.

1118
01:10:11,249 --> 01:10:12,791
Yeah.

1119
01:10:13,626 --> 01:10:17,254
Well, you know, I could
sure use a drink, my friend.

1120
01:10:20,466 --> 01:10:24,094
"...but a little fantastic
and fleeting and out of reach."

1121
01:10:24,304 --> 01:10:26,221
Then what happens?

1122
01:10:28,057 --> 01:10:29,975
Well, that's the end
of the book.

1123
01:10:30,184 --> 01:10:31,768
I wanted to present it simply

1124
01:10:31,978 --> 01:10:34,897
without big character arcs
or sensationalizing the story.

1125
01:10:35,106 --> 01:10:37,149
I wanted to show flowers
as God's miracles.

1126
01:10:37,358 --> 01:10:41,278
I wanted to show
that Orlean never saw
the blooming ghost orchid.

1127
01:10:41,487 --> 01:10:43,155
It was about disappointment.

1128
01:10:45,325 --> 01:10:46,700
I see.

1129
01:10:48,286 --> 01:10:49,828
That's not a movie.

1130
01:10:50,330 --> 01:10:53,457
You gotta go back,
put in the drama.

1131
01:10:54,626 --> 01:10:59,796
I can't go back. I've got pages of
false starts and wrong approaches.

1132
01:11:00,006 --> 01:11:03,175
I'm way past my deadline.
I'll tell you a secret.

1133
01:11:05,887 --> 01:11:07,721
A last act makes a film.

1134
01:11:09,265 --> 01:11:11,725
Wow them in the end,
and you got a hit.

1135
01:11:11,935 --> 01:11:15,604
You can have flaws, problems,
but wow them in the end

1136
01:11:16,397 --> 01:11:18,106
and you've got a hit.

1137
01:11:19,025 --> 01:11:22,569
Find an ending. But don't cheat.

1138
01:11:22,779 --> 01:11:26,156
And don't you dare bring in
a deus ex machina.

1139
01:11:28,159 --> 01:11:30,953
Your characters must change

1140
01:11:32,205 --> 01:11:34,873
and the change
must come from them.

1141
01:11:37,085 --> 01:11:40,337
Do that and you'll be fine.

1142
01:11:42,256 --> 01:11:43,882
You promise?

1143
01:11:46,344 --> 01:11:48,637
Mr. McKee.

1144
01:11:48,805 --> 01:11:50,305
[McKEE CHUCKLES]

1145
01:11:51,641 --> 01:11:54,434
Have you taken my course before?
My brother did.

1146
01:11:54,644 --> 01:11:57,980
My twin brother, Donald.
He's the one who got me to come.

1147
01:11:58,189 --> 01:12:00,399
Twin screenwriters?
Yeah.

1148
01:12:00,608 --> 01:12:04,528
Well, Julius and Philip Epstein,

1149
01:12:04,737 --> 01:12:07,489
who wrote Casablanca,

1150
01:12:07,699 --> 01:12:10,617
they were twins
You mentioned that in class.

1151
01:12:11,661 --> 01:12:13,537
Finest screenplay ever written.

1152
01:12:14,122 --> 01:12:15,706
DONALD:
Great writers' residence.

1153
01:12:15,915 --> 01:12:18,375
Donald.
Hey, how's your trip going?

1154
01:12:18,543 --> 01:12:21,211
You getting it on with that
lady journalist, you dog, you?

1155
01:12:21,421 --> 01:12:22,587
Yeah.

1156
01:12:23,006 --> 01:12:26,049
Listen, I'm just calling to say
congratulations on your script.

1157
01:12:26,259 --> 01:12:31,096
Isn't that cool? Marty says he can
get me high-sixes against a mil-five.

1158
01:12:33,558 --> 01:12:34,725
That's great, Donald.

1159
01:12:34,934 --> 01:12:37,394
I want to thank you
for all your help.

1160
01:12:37,603 --> 01:12:39,187
I wasn't any help.

1161
01:12:39,397 --> 01:12:41,565
Come on,
you let me stay in your place.

1162
01:12:41,774 --> 01:12:44,860
And your integrity
inspired me to even try.

1163
01:12:45,945 --> 01:12:47,738
It's been a wild ride.

1164
01:12:47,947 --> 01:12:49,906
Catherine says
she wants to play Cassie.

1165
01:12:50,116 --> 01:12:52,451
Oh, please!
Ha, ha, ha.

1166
01:12:52,618 --> 01:12:54,119
Please, Donald?

1167
01:12:54,328 --> 01:12:55,787
Catherine Keener?

1168
01:12:56,789 --> 01:12:59,750
Catherine Keener's in my house?
Yeah, we're playing Boggle.

1169
01:12:59,959 --> 01:13:02,753
She's great. You should really
hang out with her, Charles.

1170
01:13:03,337 --> 01:13:05,464
Yeah. Um, look...

1171
01:13:06,507 --> 01:13:08,467
I've been thinking.

1172
01:13:11,637 --> 01:13:15,766
Maybe you'd be interested
in hanging out for a few days
in New York.

1173
01:13:15,975 --> 01:13:18,018
Oh, my God, yes.

1174
01:13:18,227 --> 01:13:19,352
Yeah?

1175
01:13:19,562 --> 01:13:21,772
I was gonna show my script
to some people,

1176
01:13:21,981 --> 01:13:25,776
and, well, maybe you could
read it too, you know, if you like.

1177
01:13:25,985 --> 01:13:28,487
Of course. I'd be flattered.

1178
01:13:30,364 --> 01:13:31,740
Okay.

1179
01:13:31,949 --> 01:13:33,742
Thanks, Charles.

1180
01:13:33,951 --> 01:13:35,243
Okay, bye.

1181
01:13:48,508 --> 01:13:51,051
So, like, what would you do?

1182
01:13:51,427 --> 01:13:53,428
The script kind of
makes fun of me, huh?

1183
01:13:53,638 --> 01:13:56,932
I'm sorry. I was trying something...
Hey, I don't mind. It's funny.

1184
01:13:57,141 --> 01:13:58,308
Good. Okay.

1185
01:13:59,018 --> 01:14:01,019
So, what would you do?

1186
01:14:02,605 --> 01:14:05,982
You and me are so different,
Charles. We're different talents.

1187
01:14:06,192 --> 01:14:07,651
I know. Just for fun...

1188
01:14:07,860 --> 01:14:10,028
how would the great Donald
end this script?

1189
01:14:10,238 --> 01:14:13,156
Heh, heh. Shut up.
"The great Donald."

1190
01:14:15,201 --> 01:14:17,160
I feel like you're missing something.

1191
01:14:19,163 --> 01:14:20,872
All right. Like what?
Look.

1192
01:14:24,502 --> 01:14:26,837
I did a little research
on the airplane.

1193
01:14:28,923 --> 01:14:32,175
"Sometimes this kind of story
turns out to be something more,

1194
01:14:32,385 --> 01:14:34,678
some glimpse of life
that expands

1195
01:14:34,887 --> 01:14:37,681
like those Japanese paper balls
you drop in water

1196
01:14:37,890 --> 01:14:41,476
and they bloom into flowers
and the flower is so marvelous

1197
01:14:41,686 --> 01:14:44,688
you can't believe there was
a time all you saw

1198
01:14:44,897 --> 01:14:46,815
was a paper ball
and a glass of water."

1199
01:14:47,024 --> 01:14:50,694
First of all, that's inconsistent.
She said she didn't care
about flowers.

1200
01:14:50,903 --> 01:14:54,197
For God's sake, it's just a metaphor.
Well, but for what?

1201
01:14:54,740 --> 01:14:56,741
What turned that paper ball
into a flower?

1202
01:14:56,909 --> 01:14:58,368
It's not in the book, Charles.

1203
01:14:58,578 --> 01:15:00,954
I don't know. You're reaching.
Maybe.

1204
01:15:01,164 --> 01:15:05,417
But I think you actually need
to speak to this woman.
To know her.

1205
01:15:07,086 --> 01:15:08,628
I can't.

1206
01:15:10,256 --> 01:15:12,257
Really.
I'll go.

1207
01:15:12,592 --> 01:15:14,217
I'll pretend I'm you.

1208
01:15:14,760 --> 01:15:16,136
I want to do it, Charles.

1209
01:15:16,345 --> 01:15:20,015
We'll get to the bottom of this.
We're gonna fix your movie, bro.

1210
01:15:23,060 --> 01:15:25,270
But you've gotta be
exactly me.

1211
01:15:25,897 --> 01:15:27,898
I have a reputation
to maintain.

1212
01:15:28,733 --> 01:15:30,817
You can't be a goofball.
Can't be an asshole.

1213
01:15:31,027 --> 01:15:32,986
I'm not an asshole.
You know what I mean.

1214
01:15:33,196 --> 01:15:36,364
No flirting.
No bad jokes.

1215
01:15:36,574 --> 01:15:38,783
Don't laugh
how you laugh.

1216
01:15:38,993 --> 01:15:42,996
I'm not gonna laugh.
I get to have people
think I'm you.

1217
01:15:43,206 --> 01:15:44,789
It's an honor.

1218
01:15:44,957 --> 01:15:46,958
[BOTH LAUGHING]

1219
01:15:48,628 --> 01:15:51,296
So I guess I'll bring out
the big guns now.

1220
01:15:52,465 --> 01:15:54,132
Do you keep in touch
with Laroche?

1221
01:15:55,301 --> 01:16:01,431
I felt I detected an attraction to him
in the subtext. Care to comment?

1222
01:16:03,017 --> 01:16:04,476
Uh...

1223
01:16:04,644 --> 01:16:07,687
Well, our relationship
was strictly reporter-subject.

1224
01:16:07,897 --> 01:16:14,069
I mean, certainly an intimacy does
evolve in this kind of relationship.

1225
01:16:14,278 --> 01:16:18,782
By definition, I was so interested
in everything he had to say.

1226
01:16:19,951 --> 01:16:23,161
But the relationship ends
when the book ends.

1227
01:16:27,667 --> 01:16:29,793
Mendacious deceit.
What?

1228
01:16:30,002 --> 01:16:31,336
Nothing.

1229
01:16:31,837 --> 01:16:33,505
I just have one more question.

1230
01:16:34,674 --> 01:16:36,132
[DONALD HUMS]

1231
01:16:37,176 --> 01:16:40,845
If you could have dinner with one
historical personage, living or dead,

1232
01:16:41,055 --> 01:16:42,514
who would it be?

1233
01:16:42,890 --> 01:16:45,934
Uh, well, I would have to say...

1234
01:16:46,602 --> 01:16:49,229
Einstein.

1235
01:16:50,314 --> 01:16:51,690
Or Jesus.

1236
01:16:53,150 --> 01:16:54,859
Very good.

1237
01:16:55,069 --> 01:16:56,528
Interesting answer.

1238
01:16:59,949 --> 01:17:02,325
She's lying.
What do you mean?

1239
01:17:02,535 --> 01:17:05,370
What happened?
Nothing. She said everything right.

1240
01:17:06,789 --> 01:17:10,250
Too right.
Well, maybe because they're true.

1241
01:17:10,626 --> 01:17:11,835
Did you embarrass me?

1242
01:17:12,044 --> 01:17:14,212
People who answer questions
too right are liars.

1243
01:17:14,422 --> 01:17:17,632
Everybody says Jesus and Einstein.
That's a prepackaged answer.

1244
01:17:18,217 --> 01:17:21,011
"Jesus and Einstein"?
Listen, Charles, I have an idea.

1245
01:17:21,220 --> 01:17:23,263
You'll need to buy me
a pair of binoculars.

1246
01:17:23,472 --> 01:17:25,056
What's
"Jesus and Einstein"?

1247
01:17:25,224 --> 01:17:27,309
♪ lmagine me and you
I do ♪

1248
01:17:27,476 --> 01:17:28,727
Come on.

1249
01:17:28,894 --> 01:17:31,354
♪ I think about you day and night
It's only right ♪

1250
01:17:31,522 --> 01:17:32,772
Sing with me.

1251
01:17:32,940 --> 01:17:36,318
♪ To think about the one you love
And hold her tight ♪

1252
01:17:36,485 --> 01:17:37,902
♪ So happy together ♪♪

1253
01:17:38,070 --> 01:17:39,988
What the hell do you need
binoculars for?

1254
01:17:41,824 --> 01:17:43,742
Let's go, let's go.

1255
01:17:44,827 --> 01:17:47,370
She hung up the phone.
She's upset.

1256
01:17:47,580 --> 01:17:49,581
Stop watching her.
Leave her alone.

1257
01:17:49,790 --> 01:17:51,541
DONALD:
She's crying.

1258
01:17:53,085 --> 01:17:55,337
She's at her computer.

1259
01:17:55,546 --> 01:17:57,380
This is morally reprehensible.

1260
01:17:57,590 --> 01:17:59,382
United

1261
01:17:59,925 --> 01:18:01,468
to Miami.

1262
01:18:02,803 --> 01:18:07,098
Eleven fifty-five a.m.
Tomorrow.

1263
01:18:07,975 --> 01:18:10,977
Thought she was done with Laroche.
Her parents live in Florida.

1264
01:18:11,187 --> 01:18:13,688
That was no parent phone call,
my friend.

1265
01:18:13,898 --> 01:18:15,231
Don't say "my friend."

1266
01:18:15,441 --> 01:18:17,108
DONALD:
A guy entering.

1267
01:18:17,651 --> 01:18:18,943
Handsome.

1268
01:18:19,236 --> 01:18:21,529
[♪♪♪]

1269
01:18:22,114 --> 01:18:23,448
KAUFMAN:
Must be her husband.

1270
01:18:24,492 --> 01:18:26,785
She's acting weird
with him, though, right?

1271
01:18:27,370 --> 01:18:28,787
Don't you think?

1272
01:18:32,416 --> 01:18:35,085
What's she hiding
from him?

1273
01:18:37,630 --> 01:18:40,131
Maybe she's a lesbian
and doesn't know how to tell him.

1274
01:18:40,341 --> 01:18:41,633
What do you think?

1275
01:18:43,135 --> 01:18:44,969
Have you checked out
Laroche's porn site?

1276
01:18:45,179 --> 01:18:47,055
No. I'm trying to read.

1277
01:18:47,264 --> 01:18:50,392
Anyway, I'm gonna look
at the porn site. Research.

1278
01:18:50,559 --> 01:18:51,935
[CHUCKLES]

1279
01:18:52,144 --> 01:18:53,937
Don't tell my old lady.
You mean Mom?

1280
01:18:54,146 --> 01:18:55,772
No, I don't mean Mom.

1281
01:18:58,192 --> 01:19:00,026
Still say we should go
to Miami tomorrow.

1282
01:19:00,236 --> 01:19:01,277
Forget it.

1283
01:19:01,487 --> 01:19:03,571
Some of these chicks
look okay.

1284
01:19:03,781 --> 01:19:05,949
Hey, guess what.
We're going to Miami tomorrow.

1285
01:19:06,158 --> 01:19:09,911
I said, no.
I said, oh, yeah, baby. Come here.

1286
01:19:16,252 --> 01:19:18,670
[♪♪♪]

1287
01:19:29,181 --> 01:19:34,310
ORLEAN:
What I came to understand
is that change is not a choice.

1288
01:19:34,520 --> 01:19:38,481
Not for a species of plant,
and not for me.

1289
01:19:38,691 --> 01:19:42,652
It happens, and you are different.

1290
01:19:44,280 --> 01:19:46,990
Maybe the only distinction
between the plant and me

1291
01:19:47,199 --> 01:19:49,742
is that afterward,
I lied about my change.

1292
01:19:49,952 --> 01:19:53,413
I lied in my book.
I pretended with my husband

1293
01:19:53,622 --> 01:19:56,332
that everything was the same.

1294
01:19:56,542 --> 01:20:00,003
But something happened
in the swamp that day.

1295
01:20:03,215 --> 01:20:04,507
Hey, look.

1296
01:20:04,967 --> 01:20:08,011
I told you I'd find
the jewel of the Fakahatchee.

1297
01:20:14,226 --> 01:20:15,727
It's a flower.

1298
01:20:17,271 --> 01:20:19,063
Just a flower.

1299
01:20:20,399 --> 01:20:22,442
Well, might as well grab it.

1300
01:20:22,651 --> 01:20:24,486
Long as I'm here.

1301
01:20:33,412 --> 01:20:34,537
LAROCHE:
Oh, man.

1302
01:20:43,672 --> 01:20:46,090
Boy, my porn site's
gonna be big.

1303
01:20:52,264 --> 01:20:55,391
Look, something
I didn't tell you

1304
01:20:55,601 --> 01:20:59,103
that I want to tell you
about the ghost. Okay?

1305
01:21:00,814 --> 01:21:02,607
I think it might help you.

1306
01:21:05,444 --> 01:21:07,111
I'd just started at the nursery.

1307
01:21:08,364 --> 01:21:11,074
And I went back one night
to pick up something.

1308
01:21:12,451 --> 01:21:14,452
[MEN CHATTERING]

1309
01:21:30,469 --> 01:21:33,471
They wanted the ghost
just to extract the drug.

1310
01:21:34,098 --> 01:21:35,932
It had been a ceremonial thing,

1311
01:21:36,141 --> 01:21:38,935
but the young guys, you know,
they liked to get stoned.

1312
01:21:39,144 --> 01:21:40,520
So Matthew?

1313
01:21:41,146 --> 01:21:42,814
He was one of the guys who...?
Sure.

1314
01:21:43,023 --> 01:21:45,775
Matthew lived on that shit
till they ran out.

1315
01:21:45,985 --> 01:21:49,946
Because there was this one day
he was fascinated by me.

1316
01:21:50,155 --> 01:21:54,492
By my hair and my sadness.

1317
01:21:54,702 --> 01:21:57,620
Yeah, well, it does that.
That's what I wanted to tell you.

1318
01:21:57,830 --> 01:22:03,459
I mean, I think you'd like it,
Susie. It seems to help
people be fascinated.

1319
01:22:04,044 --> 01:22:06,629
I can extract it for you.
I know how. I watched.

1320
01:22:06,839 --> 01:22:08,798
I'm probably the only
white guy who knows.

1321
01:22:10,801 --> 01:22:12,343
I want to do this, Susie.

1322
01:22:15,931 --> 01:22:18,182
I'm done with orchids, Laroche.

1323
01:23:15,407 --> 01:23:17,617
[DIAL TONE HUMMING]

1324
01:23:19,662 --> 01:23:21,829
[ORLEAN HUMMING]

1325
01:23:25,584 --> 01:23:27,585
[HUMMING]

1326
01:23:30,422 --> 01:23:32,423
[PHONE RINGING]

1327
01:23:40,099 --> 01:23:41,891
Hello?
JOHN: Hi.

1328
01:23:42,101 --> 01:23:43,643
It's John.

1329
01:23:43,852 --> 01:23:46,104
Did you get my package?

1330
01:23:46,647 --> 01:23:47,814
John?

1331
01:23:48,941 --> 01:23:50,483
John!

1332
01:23:51,902 --> 01:23:53,194
Johnny.

1333
01:23:53,362 --> 01:23:54,904
[LAROCHE CHUCKLES]

1334
01:23:55,114 --> 01:23:57,240
Hey, John?
Yeah?

1335
01:23:57,616 --> 01:23:59,242
[SIGHS]

1336
01:24:03,372 --> 01:24:05,164
Very happy now.

1337
01:24:05,749 --> 01:24:07,208
Well, I'm glad.

1338
01:24:08,085 --> 01:24:09,502
[GIGGLES]

1339
01:24:10,212 --> 01:24:11,587
Very happy.

1340
01:24:13,173 --> 01:24:15,967
Um, John?
Hm?

1341
01:24:16,885 --> 01:24:18,469
Will you go like this...?

1342
01:24:19,221 --> 01:24:21,347
[HUMMING]

1343
01:24:23,600 --> 01:24:26,394
[BOTH HUMMING]

1344
01:24:28,814 --> 01:24:30,857
No. Keep going.

1345
01:24:32,860 --> 01:24:36,362
[BOTH HUMMING]

1346
01:24:37,406 --> 01:24:38,865
No. No.

1347
01:24:39,116 --> 01:24:41,492
[LAUGHING]

1348
01:24:42,369 --> 01:24:45,496
I'm trying to make a dial tone.
And you have to sustain.

1349
01:24:45,706 --> 01:24:48,249
And then I will join you,
and together...

1350
01:24:48,459 --> 01:24:51,669
See, I can't do it by myself.
Which one do you want me to do?

1351
01:24:52,087 --> 01:24:53,838
[JOHN HUMS]

1352
01:24:54,006 --> 01:24:56,174
Yes. Yes. Yes.
Okay. Here we go.

1353
01:24:56,550 --> 01:24:59,552
[BOTH HUMMING]

1354
01:25:05,225 --> 01:25:06,976
That's it.
We got it.

1355
01:25:07,186 --> 01:25:10,688
We got it. That's fucking amazing.

1356
01:25:13,233 --> 01:25:16,068
Do you ever get
lonely sometimes, Johnny?

1357
01:25:17,488 --> 01:25:19,530
Well, I was a weird kid.

1358
01:25:21,200 --> 01:25:22,992
Nobody liked me.

1359
01:25:24,453 --> 01:25:26,621
But I had this idea...

1360
01:25:26,789 --> 01:25:28,498
[♪♪♪]

1361
01:25:28,665 --> 01:25:31,209
If I waited long enough,
someone would

1362
01:25:32,377 --> 01:25:34,545
come around and just,

1363
01:25:35,547 --> 01:25:38,883
you know, understand me.

1364
01:25:44,640 --> 01:25:46,557
Like my mom.

1365
01:25:50,020 --> 01:25:52,104
Except someone else.

1366
01:25:53,941 --> 01:25:59,821
She'd look at me and quietly say,

1367
01:26:00,906 --> 01:26:02,156
"Yes."

1368
01:26:04,243 --> 01:26:06,285
Just like that.

1369
01:26:07,746 --> 01:26:11,332
And I wouldn't be alone anymore.

1370
01:26:25,806 --> 01:26:28,641
Oh, I wish I were an ant.

1371
01:26:29,351 --> 01:26:32,603
Oh, they're so shiny.

1372
01:26:35,691 --> 01:26:37,775
You're shinier than any ant,
darling.

1373
01:26:39,611 --> 01:26:43,406
That's the sweetest thing
anybody has ever said to me.

1374
01:26:43,615 --> 01:26:44,824
Well,

1375
01:26:45,450 --> 01:26:47,368
I like you, that's why.

1376
01:26:51,582 --> 01:26:54,417
[PLANE ENGINE ROARING]

1377
01:26:55,085 --> 01:26:56,294
Hey.

1378
01:27:00,716 --> 01:27:01,966
[SQUEALS]

1379
01:27:02,175 --> 01:27:03,926
[♪♪♪]

1380
01:27:36,877 --> 01:27:39,086
ORLEAN:
I don't have time for that.

1381
01:27:50,849 --> 01:27:54,852
I'll get a closer look. You wait here.

1382
01:28:02,361 --> 01:28:04,111
No, wait.

1383
01:28:06,490 --> 01:28:07,865
I should go.

1384
01:28:08,200 --> 01:28:10,868
I mean, it should be me, right?

1385
01:28:11,078 --> 01:28:14,288
I mean, it's my...

1386
01:28:15,624 --> 01:28:17,166
I was, you know...
Go for it.

1387
01:28:17,376 --> 01:28:19,210
You're the man.

1388
01:28:27,511 --> 01:28:29,345
[DOG BARKING IN DISTANCE]

1389
01:28:37,896 --> 01:28:40,773
[♪♪♪]

1390
01:29:20,647 --> 01:29:22,356
[ORLEAN LAUGHING]

1391
01:29:22,524 --> 01:29:23,983
LAROCHE:
Rip them.

1392
01:29:24,693 --> 01:29:26,027
Just rip them.

1393
01:29:28,822 --> 01:29:30,531
[ORLEAN MOANS]

1394
01:29:45,464 --> 01:29:46,881
[LAROCHE SIGHS]

1395
01:29:48,675 --> 01:29:51,260
LAROCHE:
Darling, I don't know
what's come over you.

1396
01:29:51,762 --> 01:29:56,599
You came all over me last time
I was here, as I recall.

1397
01:29:57,017 --> 01:29:58,601
[ORLEAN LAUGHS]

1398
01:30:04,649 --> 01:30:06,108
Oh!

1399
01:30:07,986 --> 01:30:09,445
Mmm!

1400
01:30:16,119 --> 01:30:17,578
Ooh.

1401
01:30:22,793 --> 01:30:25,252
Goddamn!

1402
01:30:25,462 --> 01:30:28,047
Hey! Fuck. Hey! Hey!
Aah! Aah!

1403
01:30:28,256 --> 01:30:29,465
LAROCHE:
Get in here!

1404
01:30:29,674 --> 01:30:32,676
Shut the fuck up, now!
Sit the fuck down!

1405
01:30:33,178 --> 01:30:35,262
Who is that, Johnny?
Who the fuck are you?

1406
01:30:35,472 --> 01:30:37,098
I just... Nobody.
Huh?

1407
01:30:37,307 --> 01:30:38,891
I just... I'm just...

1408
01:30:39,059 --> 01:30:41,018
ORLEAN:
Wait a minute, wait a minute.

1409
01:30:42,312 --> 01:30:44,188
He's that screenwriter.

1410
01:30:45,482 --> 01:30:48,984
The guy that's adapting our book?
Yeah.

1411
01:30:52,072 --> 01:30:53,572
Well, that's wild.

1412
01:30:53,782 --> 01:30:55,658
It's nice to meet you.

1413
01:30:57,911 --> 01:30:59,620
Hey, dude,

1414
01:30:59,830 --> 01:31:03,833
who's gonna play me?
I don't know that. I should...

1415
01:31:04,042 --> 01:31:06,127
Well, I thought
I should play me.

1416
01:31:06,336 --> 01:31:10,422
Why...? Did he follow me?
No, of course not. I should go.

1417
01:31:10,632 --> 01:31:13,843
Yeah, yeah. I mean,
it was nice to meet you,

1418
01:31:14,052 --> 01:31:16,137
but let me give you
my number.

1419
01:31:16,346 --> 01:31:19,557
I'm really freaking here, Johnny.
Why is he here?

1420
01:31:20,058 --> 01:31:21,642
Why did he follow me?

1421
01:31:22,144 --> 01:31:25,187
What does he know?
I don't know anything about anything.

1422
01:31:25,397 --> 01:31:27,857
He did see the greenhouse.
Oh, shit.

1423
01:31:28,066 --> 01:31:29,441
Oh, shit.

1424
01:31:29,943 --> 01:31:32,278
Are you gonna write about this
in your screenplay?

1425
01:31:32,487 --> 01:31:34,572
I really don't know what "this" is.

1426
01:31:37,033 --> 01:31:38,784
He's lying.

1427
01:31:39,536 --> 01:31:41,495
Hold him.
LAROCHE: Stay! Just...

1428
01:31:44,124 --> 01:31:46,125
[♪♪♪]

1429
01:32:17,741 --> 01:32:19,617
We have to kill him.
What?

1430
01:32:19,784 --> 01:32:21,118
ORLEAN:
What are we supposed to do?

1431
01:32:21,328 --> 01:32:22,953
What can we do?
Sit the fuck down!

1432
01:32:29,961 --> 01:32:33,672
Susie, you gotta
calm down.

1433
01:32:33,882 --> 01:32:36,091
Now, you're getting
a little emotional.

1434
01:32:36,301 --> 01:32:38,802
You don't know...
I can't have him writing about me.

1435
01:32:39,012 --> 01:32:43,265
I can't have the whole world,
all the people knowing about us

1436
01:32:43,475 --> 01:32:45,434
and about this.

1437
01:32:47,479 --> 01:32:48,979
Why?

1438
01:32:49,773 --> 01:32:51,941
You ashamed of me, Susie?
No, that's not it.

1439
01:32:52,150 --> 01:32:54,235
No. How can you even think of that?
Well...

1440
01:32:54,444 --> 01:32:57,613
ORLEAN:
I'm a professional journalist,
and the drugs and...

1441
01:32:57,781 --> 01:32:59,073
LAROCHE:
Susie.

1442
01:33:00,492 --> 01:33:02,284
We can't kill anyone.

1443
01:33:02,494 --> 01:33:04,411
ORLEAN:
Okay. Okay.

1444
01:33:04,621 --> 01:33:06,664
Then I'll do it.

1445
01:33:06,998 --> 01:33:08,999
By myself.
Susan...

1446
01:33:09,167 --> 01:33:11,085
LAROCHE:
Hey! Come on. Fucking get down!

1447
01:33:11,294 --> 01:33:13,837
KAUFMAN: I wouldn't tell any...
ORLEAN: Put him in his fucking car!

1448
01:33:14,422 --> 01:33:16,507
[♪♪♪]

1449
01:33:59,634 --> 01:34:02,469
Turn it off. Just get out.

1450
01:34:27,787 --> 01:34:29,371
[CLATTERING]

1451
01:34:31,916 --> 01:34:33,917
DONALD:
Run! Run! Go!

1452
01:34:35,795 --> 01:34:37,880
LAROCHE:
Susan! What the fuck was that?

1453
01:34:38,089 --> 01:34:40,799
I don't know. I couldn't see.
Shit.

1454
01:34:41,426 --> 01:34:43,427
Fuck!

1455
01:34:43,678 --> 01:34:46,096
Come on!
Help me find the flashlight.

1456
01:34:52,187 --> 01:34:54,188
[♪♪♪]

1457
01:35:15,710 --> 01:35:18,170
LAROCHE:
So it was a guy?

1458
01:35:18,380 --> 01:35:21,840
ORLEAN:
Yeah. Fat.

1459
01:35:22,050 --> 01:35:24,551
That's all I could tell.

1460
01:35:30,350 --> 01:35:32,768
LAROCHE:
This is ridiculous.
We're gonna have to split up.

1461
01:35:32,977 --> 01:35:38,273
ORLEAN:
I can't. I can't be by myself out here.
I'm not gonna do that.

1462
01:35:40,527 --> 01:35:43,529
They're gonna find us.
I don't think so.

1463
01:35:43,905 --> 01:35:47,616
I don't want to die, Donald.
I've wasted my life.
God, I've wasted it.

1464
01:35:47,826 --> 01:35:51,620
You didn't. And you're not gonna die.
I wasted it.

1465
01:35:51,830 --> 01:35:53,705
I admire you, Donald, you know?

1466
01:35:53,915 --> 01:35:57,459
I spent my whole life paralyzed,
worrying about what people think,

1467
01:35:57,669 --> 01:36:01,797
and you, you're just oblivious.
I'm not oblivious.

1468
01:36:02,340 --> 01:36:06,176
No, you don't understand.
I mean that as a compliment.

1469
01:36:08,888 --> 01:36:11,098
There was this time in high school.

1470
01:36:11,307 --> 01:36:14,309
I was watching you out
the library window,

1471
01:36:14,519 --> 01:36:18,188
you were talking to Sarah Marsh.
Oh, God, I was so in love with her.

1472
01:36:18,398 --> 01:36:23,527
I know. And you were flirting
with her, and she was being
really sweet to you.

1473
01:36:23,736 --> 01:36:27,531
I remember that.
And then, when you walked away,

1474
01:36:28,867 --> 01:36:31,201
she started making fun of you
with Kim Canetti.

1475
01:36:32,537 --> 01:36:36,707
And it was like
they were laughing at me.

1476
01:36:38,543 --> 01:36:40,711
You didn't know at all?

1477
01:36:42,213 --> 01:36:46,675
You seemed so happy.
I knew. I heard them.

1478
01:36:48,136 --> 01:36:49,803
Well, how come
you were so happy?

1479
01:36:51,764 --> 01:36:54,391
I loved Sarah, Charles.

1480
01:36:55,894 --> 01:37:00,731
It was mine, that love.

1481
01:37:02,400 --> 01:37:04,443
I owned it.

1482
01:37:07,238 --> 01:37:10,991
Even Sarah didn't have
the right to take it away.

1483
01:37:12,785 --> 01:37:15,537
I can love whoever I want.

1484
01:37:18,082 --> 01:37:20,667
But she thought you were pathetic.

1485
01:37:21,169 --> 01:37:22,711
[CHUCKLES]

1486
01:37:25,173 --> 01:37:27,549
That was her business,
not mine.

1487
01:37:30,637 --> 01:37:35,599
You are what you love,
not what loves you.

1488
01:37:37,977 --> 01:37:41,104
That's what I decided
a long time ago.

1489
01:37:45,193 --> 01:37:47,194
[♪♪♪]

1490
01:37:54,327 --> 01:37:56,286
What's up?

1491
01:37:58,289 --> 01:38:00,249
Thank you.

1492
01:38:01,459 --> 01:38:03,669
For what?

1493
01:38:13,096 --> 01:38:15,264
ORLEAN:
No, shh, shh, shh!

1494
01:38:15,515 --> 01:38:18,267
Listen. I hear them.

1495
01:38:18,476 --> 01:38:21,770
I hear them. I hear them breathing.

1496
01:38:27,485 --> 01:38:29,820
Charlie?

1497
01:38:30,989 --> 01:38:33,574
Charlie?
LAROCHE: Charlie!

1498
01:38:33,783 --> 01:38:36,410
ORLEAN: Guys?
LAROCHE: Charlie!

1499
01:38:36,619 --> 01:38:38,370
ORLEAN:
Charlie!

1500
01:38:46,212 --> 01:38:47,796
[BIRD CHIRPING]

1501
01:39:11,613 --> 01:39:13,530
KAUFMAN:
Where's the van?

1502
01:39:14,657 --> 01:39:19,411
Are they gone?
I don't know. Maybe.

1503
01:39:47,732 --> 01:39:49,858
ORLEAN:
John? John!

1504
01:39:53,404 --> 01:39:54,696
[DONALD SCREAMING]

1505
01:39:58,409 --> 01:39:59,868
Shit!

1506
01:40:21,015 --> 01:40:23,892
I can't believe I got shot.
Isn't that fucked up? Heh, heh.

1507
01:40:24,102 --> 01:40:26,103
Shut up. Stop laughing.

1508
01:40:26,270 --> 01:40:27,437
[CAR HORN HONKING]

1509
01:40:32,068 --> 01:40:34,069
[KAUFMAN GASPING
AND COUGHING]

1510
01:40:54,382 --> 01:40:58,593
Donald? You're gonna be okay.
It's gonna be okay, Donald.

1511
01:40:59,053 --> 01:41:03,306
Just don't go to sleep. Just don't
go to sleep, Donald. Look at me.

1512
01:41:03,850 --> 01:41:06,184
Look at me, Donald.
Keep looking at me.

1513
01:41:06,394 --> 01:41:09,396
Open your eyes.
Donald, please open your eyes.

1514
01:41:09,605 --> 01:41:13,275
Donald. Donald, please
open your eyes, Donald.

1515
01:41:13,484 --> 01:41:16,319
Donald! Donald, open your eyes!

1516
01:41:24,495 --> 01:41:27,038
♪ lmagine me and you
I do ♪

1517
01:41:27,665 --> 01:41:31,376
♪ I think about you day and night
It's only right ♪

1518
01:41:31,544 --> 01:41:35,464
♪ To think about the one you love
And hold you tight ♪

1519
01:41:35,631 --> 01:41:37,966
♪ So happy together ♪

1520
01:41:38,134 --> 01:41:39,176
Look at me.

1521
01:41:39,343 --> 01:41:42,262
♪ lmagine me and you
I do ♪♪

1522
01:41:42,430 --> 01:41:43,847
♪ And I... ♪♪

1523
01:41:50,313 --> 01:41:52,314
[♪♪♪]

1524
01:41:53,858 --> 01:41:55,358
Help!

1525
01:42:04,827 --> 01:42:06,203
John!

1526
01:42:06,788 --> 01:42:09,039
[♪♪♪]

1527
01:42:37,568 --> 01:42:39,069
Halt!

1528
01:43:07,765 --> 01:43:08,849
[GASPING]

1529
01:43:09,016 --> 01:43:11,226
I'm sorry.

1530
01:43:11,435 --> 01:43:13,937
Now I have to do this too.

1531
01:43:15,022 --> 01:43:17,274
I'm not a killer.

1532
01:43:19,360 --> 01:43:20,569
You put yourself in...

1533
01:43:20,736 --> 01:43:22,529
[GATOR ROARS
AND LAROCHE SCREAMING]

1534
01:43:24,282 --> 01:43:25,657
[SCREAMING]

1535
01:43:25,867 --> 01:43:27,284
ORLEAN:
Johnny!

1536
01:43:28,369 --> 01:43:29,953
LAROCHE: Susan!
ORLEAN: No!

1537
01:43:30,162 --> 01:43:32,122
Help!
ORLEAN: No, no!

1538
01:43:34,250 --> 01:43:39,421
Johnny! Johnny! John!

1539
01:43:52,894 --> 01:43:54,978
Oh, no, no, no.

1540
01:43:58,149 --> 01:44:00,191
[SOBBING]

1541
01:44:05,156 --> 01:44:09,618
Oh, God.
Oh, you fat piece of shit!

1542
01:44:10,953 --> 01:44:13,663
He's dead, you loser!
Shut up!

1543
01:44:13,873 --> 01:44:16,583
You ruined my life, you fat fuck!
Shut up! Shut up!

1544
01:44:16,792 --> 01:44:22,714
Fuck you, lady! You're just a lonely,
old, desperate, pathetic drug addict!

1545
01:44:23,507 --> 01:44:25,550
[CRYING]

1546
01:44:27,011 --> 01:44:29,012
[♪♪♪]

1547
01:44:33,434 --> 01:44:36,519
Oh, my God.

1548
01:44:38,564 --> 01:44:43,652
It's over. Everything's over.

1549
01:44:44,236 --> 01:44:46,488
I did everything wrong.

1550
01:44:49,784 --> 01:44:52,494
I want my life back.

1551
01:44:52,703 --> 01:44:56,498
I want it back
before it all got fucked up.

1552
01:44:56,707 --> 01:45:01,711
I want to be a baby again.
I want to be new.

1553
01:45:02,046 --> 01:45:05,048
I want to be new.

1554
01:45:11,472 --> 01:45:13,890
[♪♪♪]

1555
01:45:31,409 --> 01:45:33,535
[LINE RINGING]

1556
01:45:37,164 --> 01:45:39,207
WOMAN:
Hello?

1557
01:45:41,794 --> 01:45:44,254
Hello?
Mom.

1558
01:45:44,463 --> 01:45:49,175
Charles? Charles, is that you?

1559
01:45:49,385 --> 01:45:51,302
[CRYING]

1560
01:45:51,554 --> 01:45:53,763
[♪♪♪]

1561
01:45:53,931 --> 01:45:56,891
Charles, what's the matter?
You okay?

1562
01:45:59,228 --> 01:46:01,646
[♪♪♪]

1563
01:46:18,414 --> 01:46:22,625
KAUFMAN [ON RECORDING]:
Donald says, "That was her
business, not mine.

1564
01:46:22,835 --> 01:46:26,629
You are what you love,
not what loves you.

1565
01:46:27,089 --> 01:46:30,091
I decided that a long time ago."

1566
01:46:30,634 --> 01:46:33,094
Kaufman starts to cry.

1567
01:46:33,304 --> 01:46:37,974
He tries to thank his brother,
but he can't put it into words.

1568
01:46:39,977 --> 01:46:42,187
AMELIA:
So how you getting on?

1569
01:46:42,354 --> 01:46:43,855
I'm okay.

1570
01:46:47,318 --> 01:46:48,651
I miss him, you know?

1571
01:46:51,197 --> 01:46:54,282
How's the script coming?
It's good. I'm almost finished.

1572
01:46:54,492 --> 01:46:56,993
I'll be really glad to move on
to something else.

1573
01:46:57,203 --> 01:46:58,828
I'll bet.

1574
01:47:00,372 --> 01:47:02,082
Things okay with you?

1575
01:47:02,291 --> 01:47:06,836
And then in January,
David and I went to Prague.
That was a high point.

1576
01:47:07,046 --> 01:47:10,131
That sounds great.
There's amazing puppet theater.

1577
01:47:10,341 --> 01:47:12,175
Yeah, I've heard.
I've gotta see that.

1578
01:47:12,384 --> 01:47:18,473
And there's this church decorated
with, like, human skulls and bones.

1579
01:47:18,682 --> 01:47:22,310
Forty thousand
skulls and bones.

1580
01:47:23,187 --> 01:47:25,522
I thought about you
when I went there.

1581
01:47:26,857 --> 01:47:28,858
[♪♪♪]

1582
01:47:47,920 --> 01:47:51,297
Charlie, I'm with someone.
Why are you doing this now?

1583
01:47:55,010 --> 01:47:56,970
I love you.

1584
01:48:03,310 --> 01:48:07,105
I should go. I have to...

1585
01:48:07,314 --> 01:48:11,234
Stuff I have to do.
I'm going away
this weekend...

1586
01:48:11,443 --> 01:48:15,238
Million things, okay?
Yeah.

1587
01:48:29,378 --> 01:48:31,921
I love you too, you know.

1588
01:48:51,942 --> 01:48:55,320
KAUFMAN:
I have to go right home.
I know how to finish the script now.

1589
01:48:55,529 --> 01:48:58,489
It ends with Kaufman driving home
after his lunch with Amelia,

1590
01:48:58,699 --> 01:49:01,242
thinking he knows
how to finish the script.

1591
01:49:01,452 --> 01:49:04,329
Shit, that's voice-over.
McKee would not approve.

1592
01:49:04,538 --> 01:49:07,624
How else can I show
his thoughts? I don't know.

1593
01:49:07,833 --> 01:49:10,960
Well, who cares what McKee says?
It feels right.

1594
01:49:11,170 --> 01:49:13,087
Conclusive.

1595
01:49:13,297 --> 01:49:16,799
I wonder who's gonna play me.
Someone not too fat.

1596
01:49:17,009 --> 01:49:20,386
I like that Gérard Depardieu,
but can he not do the accent?

1597
01:49:20,596 --> 01:49:24,891
Anyway, it's done.
And that's something.

1598
01:49:25,100 --> 01:49:29,771
So: "Kaufman drives off from
his encounter with Amelia

1599
01:49:29,980 --> 01:49:33,233
filled for the first time with hope."

1600
01:49:34,068 --> 01:49:36,110
I like this.

1601
01:49:36,820 --> 01:49:38,780
This is good.

1602
01:49:39,573 --> 01:49:42,867
[THE TURTLES'
"HAPPY TOGETHER" PLAYING]

1603
01:49:43,035 --> 01:49:46,037
♪ lmagine me and you
I do ♪

1604
01:49:46,205 --> 01:49:50,333
♪ I think about you day and night
It's only right ♪

1605
01:49:50,501 --> 01:49:54,212
♪ To think about the girl you love
And hold her tight ♪

1606
01:49:54,380 --> 01:50:02,220
♪ So happy together ♪

1607
01:50:02,680 --> 01:50:06,307
♪ How is the weather? ♪

1608
01:50:06,475 --> 01:50:10,395
♪ So happy together ♪

1609
01:50:10,562 --> 01:50:14,440
♪ We're happy together ♪

1610
01:50:14,608 --> 01:50:18,361
♪ So happy together ♪

1611
01:50:18,529 --> 01:50:22,323
♪ So happy together ♪♪

1612
01:50:28,330 --> 01:50:30,331
[♪♪♪]