1
00:00:47,423 --> 00:00:51,135
<i>In 1974, President Richard Nixon
resigned in disgrace...</i>

2
00:00:51,302 --> 00:00:52,804
<i>...amid the Watergate scandal.</i>

3
00:00:52,970 --> 00:00:55,306
<i>One of the mysteries
of the 20th century...</i>

4
00:00:55,473 --> 00:00:57,725
<i>...pertains to the identity
of Deep Throat...</i>

5
00:00:57,892 --> 00:01:01,771
<i>...the inside source who leaked the
information to the</i> Washington Post.

6
00:01:01,938 --> 00:01:04,315
<i>Who is Deep Throat?</i>

7
00:01:04,482 --> 00:01:06,651
<i>Tonight, my guests will
answer that question.</i>

8
00:01:06,818 --> 00:01:08,277
<i>Bob Woodward, Carl Bernstein...</i>

9
00:01:08,444 --> 00:01:11,656
...Post <i>reporters who broke
the story so many years ago.</i>

10
00:01:11,823 --> 00:01:14,909
<i>- Nice to have you here.
- Thank you for having us.</i>

11
00:01:15,326 --> 00:01:17,036
<i>Let's just get right to it.</i>

12
00:01:17,203 --> 00:01:18,579
<i>Who is...</i>

13
00:01:18,746 --> 00:01:19,872
<i>...Deep Throat?</i>

14
00:01:21,040 --> 00:01:23,543
<i>Uh, well, first of all,
we're not telling you.</i>

15
00:01:26,713 --> 00:01:31,050
<i>Second, I was under the impression
that I would be the only guest tonight.</i>

16
00:01:31,217 --> 00:01:32,885
<i>Well, I guess you're not, Bob.</i>

17
00:01:34,470 --> 00:01:37,056
<i>You know, you guys
are getting pretty old now.</i>

18
00:01:37,223 --> 00:01:38,725
<i>So, what's your point?</i>

19
00:01:38,891 --> 00:01:39,892
<i>I'm wondering...</i>

20
00:01:40,059 --> 00:01:43,604
<i>...are you ever going to tell
anybody who Deep Throat is...</i>

21
00:01:43,771 --> 00:01:45,189
<i>...before you die?</i>

22
00:01:45,481 --> 00:01:47,817
<i>Well, a lot bigger names than you...</i>

23
00:01:47,984 --> 00:01:49,777
<i>...have asked us
who Deep Throat is, so....</i>

24
00:01:49,944 --> 00:01:53,114
<i>I don't think we'd reveal it
on a little show like this.</i>

25
00:01:53,281 --> 00:01:54,907
<i>You know what I think?</i>

26
00:01:55,074 --> 00:01:58,202
<i>I mean, I'm just gonna
come right out and say it.</i>

27
00:01:58,369 --> 00:02:02,498
<i>I don't think there is a Deep Throat.
I think you made it up.</i>

28
00:02:02,665 --> 00:02:06,669
<i>- Yes, there is! Deep Throat is--
- Don't say it! He's trying to trick us!</i>

29
00:02:09,505 --> 00:02:10,882
<i>I'm sorry, Bob.</i>

30
00:02:11,048 --> 00:02:12,383
<i>Don't ever touch me.</i>

31
00:02:12,550 --> 00:02:14,844
<i>- Bob, I said I'm sorry.
- Don't ever!</i>

32
00:02:15,136 --> 00:02:17,388
<i>You smell like cabbage.</i>

33
00:02:48,711 --> 00:02:51,255
<i>♪ You went to school to learn, girl ♪</i>

34
00:02:51,422 --> 00:02:53,257
<i>♪ Things you never, never knew before ♪</i>

35
00:02:53,424 --> 00:02:56,385
<i>- ♪ Like "I before E, except after C" ♪
- ♪ And why 2 plus 2 makes 4 ♪</i>

36
00:02:56,552 --> 00:02:57,970
Oh, fudge!

37
00:02:58,137 --> 00:03:01,808
<i>- ♪ Now, now, now I'm gonna teach you ♪
- ♪ Teach you, teach you ♪</i>

38
00:03:01,974 --> 00:03:04,101
<i>- ♪ All about love girl ♪
- ♪ All about love ♪</i>

39
00:03:04,268 --> 00:03:09,106
<i>♪ Sit yourself down, take a seat
All you gotta do is repeat after me ♪</i>

40
00:03:09,273 --> 00:03:13,069
<i>♪ A B C
Easy as, 1 2 3 ♪</i>

41
00:03:13,236 --> 00:03:16,781
<i>♪ Simple as, do re mi
A B C ♪</i>

42
00:03:16,948 --> 00:03:20,368
<i>♪ 1 2 3
Baby, you and me, girl... ♪♪</i>

43
00:03:20,952 --> 00:03:21,994
Okay.

44
00:03:22,495 --> 00:03:24,247
Okay.

45
00:03:24,580 --> 00:03:25,957
Dear Bobby:

46
00:03:27,625 --> 00:03:30,086
I'm having so much fun already.

47
00:03:30,503 --> 00:03:32,463
I need you to concentrate.

48
00:03:32,630 --> 00:03:34,465
- Dear Bobby:
- Hold on, hold on.

49
00:03:34,632 --> 00:03:36,634
- Here's the reason--
- Wait.

50
00:03:36,801 --> 00:03:40,137
Arlene, I need to have time
to review my letters.

51
00:03:40,304 --> 00:03:41,597
Okay.

52
00:03:41,764 --> 00:03:43,850
- We have a deadline.
- I know.

53
00:03:44,016 --> 00:03:47,061
I need to concentrate. Hold on.
Let me just look at them.

54
00:03:47,436 --> 00:03:48,855
Okay. Dear Bobby:

55
00:03:49,105 --> 00:03:52,149
Here's the number one reason
that I think--

56
00:03:52,400 --> 00:03:54,402
Okay, I'm ready.

57
00:03:55,278 --> 00:03:57,738
- "A."
- Okay.

58
00:03:58,197 --> 00:03:59,532
Dear Bobby:

59
00:03:59,699 --> 00:04:03,870
Here's the number one reason that
I think that you should choose me...

60
00:04:04,120 --> 00:04:05,538
...Arlene Lorenzo...

61
00:04:05,705 --> 00:04:08,583
...for the "Win A Date
With Bobby Sherman" contest...

62
00:04:08,749 --> 00:04:11,294
- ...in <i>Tiger Beat</i> magazine.
- Hold on. Wait.

63
00:04:11,460 --> 00:04:13,045
Number one: I love you.

64
00:04:13,212 --> 00:04:15,756
And number two:
I just think you're cute.

65
00:04:15,923 --> 00:04:18,759
B, B. Oh, my God,
they're both together.

66
00:04:18,926 --> 00:04:23,639
But the main reason that I think
you should pick me, Arlene Lorenzo...

67
00:04:24,223 --> 00:04:26,809
...is because we're soul mates, Bobby.

68
00:04:28,311 --> 00:04:30,521
You are so brilliant, Arlene.

69
00:04:32,148 --> 00:04:34,025
So, what do we have so far?

70
00:04:35,192 --> 00:04:36,652
"Dear Bobb...

71
00:04:37,528 --> 00:04:38,529
...y."

72
00:04:40,656 --> 00:04:43,409
I think maybe I could type
faster than you.

73
00:04:43,868 --> 00:04:45,369
<i>Four more years!</i>

74
00:04:45,536 --> 00:04:46,829
<i>Four more years!</i>

75
00:04:50,041 --> 00:04:52,627
- What are you looking at?
- Nothing.

76
00:04:54,420 --> 00:04:56,756
You seem pretty interested in nothing.

77
00:04:56,923 --> 00:04:58,090
Give me those.

78
00:05:04,513 --> 00:05:05,723
Oh, yeah.

79
00:05:06,349 --> 00:05:08,476
I'll take the one doing cartwheels.

80
00:05:11,228 --> 00:05:12,688
What time is it?

81
00:05:13,522 --> 00:05:14,857
Shit!

82
00:05:18,653 --> 00:05:21,238
Um-- The gemstone is glistening.

83
00:05:21,489 --> 00:05:23,866
The gemstone is glistening.

84
00:05:41,842 --> 00:05:43,719
She's finally asleep!

85
00:05:44,011 --> 00:05:47,682
The deadline to enter the contest
is midnight. We have to hurry.

86
00:05:48,474 --> 00:05:50,643
We have to mail this letter. Go...

87
00:05:50,810 --> 00:05:53,187
...so I can win, or I swear I'll die.

88
00:05:59,527 --> 00:06:01,696
<i>- Evening, Mr. Whipple.
- Evening.</i>

89
00:06:01,862 --> 00:06:03,739
<i>Don't squeeze the Charmin.</i>

90
00:06:04,824 --> 00:06:06,117
<i>- Hi, Dad.
- Hi, Georgie.</i>

91
00:06:06,283 --> 00:06:09,328
<i>- Can I carry the Charmin?
- Yep, but no squeezing.</i>

92
00:06:09,495 --> 00:06:11,455
<i>What did you do in the store today?</i>

93
00:06:11,622 --> 00:06:13,374
<i>You should've seen it.</i>

94
00:06:13,624 --> 00:06:16,794
<i>There I was, and these two ladies
were squeezing the Charmin.</i>

95
00:06:21,799 --> 00:06:25,720
This way, we can get back in
without having to go to the lobby.

96
00:06:25,886 --> 00:06:28,305
So nobody'll ever see us
and tell my mom.

97
00:06:29,223 --> 00:06:30,599
Arlene.

98
00:06:31,434 --> 00:06:33,060
You're a genius!

99
00:06:52,997 --> 00:06:54,415
Okay.

100
00:06:56,709 --> 00:06:57,918
Down, down!

101
00:06:58,085 --> 00:06:59,587
It's Fat Freddy.

102
00:07:03,466 --> 00:07:05,217
Shh! Shh!

103
00:07:06,552 --> 00:07:08,512
That is so disgusting.

104
00:07:08,679 --> 00:07:10,806
Go, go. Go, go, go!

105
00:07:32,828 --> 00:07:33,954
What the--?

106
00:07:35,956 --> 00:07:37,208
Oh, shit!

107
00:07:38,834 --> 00:07:42,088
Max, call the cops.
Looks like we got a break-in here.

108
00:07:43,464 --> 00:07:45,216
You know why I love Bobby?

109
00:07:45,466 --> 00:07:49,136
Because he cares about people
but also about nature and ecology.

110
00:07:49,303 --> 00:07:52,848
I need a status report.
Give me a 20 for gemstone. Over.

111
00:07:53,766 --> 00:07:54,850
Jewel thieves.

112
00:07:55,059 --> 00:07:56,477
- Really?
- Yes.

113
00:07:56,977 --> 00:07:58,062
Hold it!

114
00:08:01,857 --> 00:08:03,400
Get away from us!

115
00:08:05,611 --> 00:08:08,447
Young people running wild
in the middle of the night.

116
00:08:09,490 --> 00:08:10,658
Hey.

117
00:08:10,866 --> 00:08:14,787
By the time you're grown, you'll be
living in the Soviet Union of America!

118
00:08:25,422 --> 00:08:26,882
She's still out like a light.

119
00:08:35,891 --> 00:08:38,477
We have the suspects in custody!

120
00:08:38,644 --> 00:08:41,063
It was a jewel heist.

121
00:08:41,230 --> 00:08:43,607
See if you can get
any statements from them.

122
00:08:47,403 --> 00:08:48,696
Arlene?

123
00:08:48,863 --> 00:08:50,072
Betsy?

124
00:08:50,239 --> 00:08:52,449
What are you two
doing up at this hour?

125
00:08:54,910 --> 00:08:56,745
Nothing.

126
00:08:56,912 --> 00:08:58,914
<i>Last night, five men were arrested...</i>

127
00:08:59,081 --> 00:09:00,958
<i>...in the Democratic Committee office...</i>

128
00:09:01,125 --> 00:09:03,919
<i>...during an attempted burglary
at the Watergate complex.</i>

129
00:09:04,086 --> 00:09:05,421
<i>It has been confirmed...</i>

130
00:09:05,588 --> 00:09:09,258
<i>...that one of the arrested was
formerly an employee of the CIA.</i>

131
00:09:09,967 --> 00:09:12,219
Aren't you students excited...

132
00:09:12,386 --> 00:09:16,891
...about visiting the home of
the president and the first family?

133
00:09:17,057 --> 00:09:19,101
- Well, not really.
- No.

134
00:09:19,268 --> 00:09:23,189
And after our tour,
we're having lunch at McDonald's.

135
00:09:26,942 --> 00:09:28,777
I love McDonald's so much!

136
00:09:28,944 --> 00:09:31,197
French fries! French fries!

137
00:09:36,535 --> 00:09:38,954
He looks like he's wearing blush.

138
00:09:46,253 --> 00:09:48,380
That guy has T.P. stuck to his shoe.

139
00:09:48,964 --> 00:09:50,007
Hey, mister!

140
00:09:51,091 --> 00:09:53,093
- Hey, you!
- Shorty, turn around.

141
00:09:54,345 --> 00:09:56,388
Young lady, I am a very busy man.

142
00:09:56,555 --> 00:09:57,848
Wait a minute, I know you.

143
00:09:58,015 --> 00:10:00,184
Me too. But from where?

144
00:10:00,351 --> 00:10:01,769
I don't know.

145
00:10:01,936 --> 00:10:03,771
Do you sell corn dogs at the mall?

146
00:10:04,104 --> 00:10:07,983
As far as you're concerned,
I have no identity at all.

147
00:10:08,150 --> 00:10:09,944
As a matter of fact...

148
00:10:10,361 --> 00:10:11,987
...I'm not even here.

149
00:10:13,113 --> 00:10:15,449
He's way weirder than the corn dog guy.

150
00:10:17,576 --> 00:10:19,161
And this isn't T.P.

151
00:10:19,328 --> 00:10:22,831
It's a piece of paper with names
and amounts of money on it.

152
00:10:23,540 --> 00:10:25,000
"CREEP list"?

153
00:10:25,542 --> 00:10:28,170
I guess all the people
on that list must be creeps.

154
00:10:28,337 --> 00:10:29,421
Mm-hm.

155
00:10:29,964 --> 00:10:31,006
Souvenir.

156
00:10:32,007 --> 00:10:33,384
Let's go.

157
00:10:39,014 --> 00:10:41,308
Jesus, Gordon,
they're just little girls.

158
00:10:41,976 --> 00:10:46,021
They were in the Watergate
last night. They know too much, Bob.

159
00:10:47,147 --> 00:10:49,900
I want to interrogate them.

160
00:10:50,693 --> 00:10:55,406
I think you've done enough,
what with bumbling the burglary and all.

161
00:10:55,864 --> 00:10:58,242
Just pay off all your guys
on that CREEP list.

162
00:10:58,409 --> 00:11:01,412
Don't worry about that.
I've got that right here.

163
00:11:01,578 --> 00:11:06,083
G. Gordon Liddy is not going to let down
the president of the United States.

164
00:11:08,627 --> 00:11:12,047
Would you ladies like to see
the West Wing of the White House?

165
00:11:21,181 --> 00:11:22,308
- Oh!
- Sorry.

166
00:11:25,060 --> 00:11:26,437
This is fun.

167
00:11:28,063 --> 00:11:29,815
Look at that b--

168
00:11:33,193 --> 00:11:34,320
Ladies...

169
00:11:35,321 --> 00:11:37,614
...when you think of your president...

170
00:11:38,073 --> 00:11:39,283
...do you think...

171
00:11:39,658 --> 00:11:41,493
...friendly thoughts?

172
00:11:45,289 --> 00:11:47,374
I don't think
about him that much.

173
00:11:47,541 --> 00:11:49,209
But when you do...

174
00:11:50,127 --> 00:11:51,754
...you don't think...

175
00:11:52,087 --> 00:11:53,589
...unfriendly thoughts, do you?

176
00:11:54,548 --> 00:11:56,467
- No.
- No.

177
00:11:56,633 --> 00:12:00,262
So you would never want
to do anything that might...

178
00:12:00,429 --> 00:12:02,848
...hurt the president?

179
00:12:03,015 --> 00:12:04,725
Never. No.

180
00:12:04,892 --> 00:12:06,101
Because you see--

181
00:12:08,645 --> 00:12:10,731
Excuse me, Mr. Haldeman.

182
00:12:10,898 --> 00:12:13,942
It's your wife.
She says it's rather urgent.

183
00:12:17,863 --> 00:12:19,448
Excuse me, ladies.

184
00:12:25,120 --> 00:12:26,288
Hello, dear.

185
00:12:26,747 --> 00:12:31,001
Mm-hm. Yeah, just putting out a little fire
here at the White House.

186
00:12:31,168 --> 00:12:33,212
I can stop by the store
on the way home.

187
00:12:33,379 --> 00:12:35,672
Mm-hm. A dozen? The poppy kind.

188
00:12:35,923 --> 00:12:39,385
I'll tell you the problem.
The dog doesn't like me.

189
00:12:39,927 --> 00:12:44,056
Kennedy and Johnson had dogs
that liked them. That's the problem.

190
00:12:44,223 --> 00:12:48,352
Mr. President, maybe you should
show the dog more affection.

191
00:12:48,602 --> 00:12:50,687
Maybe I ought to fire you!

192
00:12:52,147 --> 00:12:53,565
Come on, boy.

193
00:12:54,942 --> 00:12:56,735
Looks away. Doesn't look at me.

194
00:12:56,985 --> 00:12:58,487
What'd I do to him? Nothing.

195
00:12:58,737 --> 00:13:01,115
You're supposed to love me, Checkers.

196
00:13:01,281 --> 00:13:03,951
Shouldn't you call him
King Timahoe, sir?

197
00:13:06,745 --> 00:13:08,038
Come here.

198
00:13:08,205 --> 00:13:09,873
Where's he going?

199
00:13:11,917 --> 00:13:14,086
No, I am not uptight.

200
00:13:14,253 --> 00:13:16,755
When did you start
talking like that, anyway?

201
00:13:17,714 --> 00:13:19,508
What's going on in here?

202
00:13:22,469 --> 00:13:23,971
Mr. President, if I may.

203
00:13:24,138 --> 00:13:25,806
Look how cute you are.
Come here.

204
00:13:26,306 --> 00:13:27,724
Come here, baby.

205
00:13:27,891 --> 00:13:29,017
It's the president.

206
00:13:29,184 --> 00:13:33,814
I mean, all I asked for
was a simple bugging, all right?

207
00:13:33,981 --> 00:13:36,150
I don't know how many times
we've done that.

208
00:13:36,316 --> 00:13:38,235
And here they go and screw it up.

209
00:13:39,236 --> 00:13:41,697
Hi, puppy. Nice puppy!

210
00:13:41,864 --> 00:13:43,198
Nice puppy!

211
00:13:44,450 --> 00:13:45,951
Have you paid them off?

212
00:13:46,118 --> 00:13:48,287
CREEP has made up
a list of who to pay off...

213
00:13:48,537 --> 00:13:50,497
...and Liddy's taking care of it now.

214
00:13:53,667 --> 00:13:55,836
Are you the president's dog trainer?

215
00:13:56,003 --> 00:13:59,256
I'm John Dean,
Chief White House Counsel.

216
00:13:59,423 --> 00:14:00,591
Oh....

217
00:14:01,175 --> 00:14:02,718
That's too bad.

218
00:14:04,636 --> 00:14:05,929
Oh, thank you!

219
00:14:06,096 --> 00:14:07,723
That one lives in the Watergate.

220
00:14:07,890 --> 00:14:10,058
They were there
the night of the break-in.

221
00:14:10,225 --> 00:14:11,310
Do they know anything?

222
00:14:11,477 --> 00:14:13,896
I love your ears.
Look at the ears!

223
00:14:14,188 --> 00:14:17,941
Sir, I've met yams with more going
on upstairs than those two.

224
00:14:18,108 --> 00:14:19,234
Now, Bob.

225
00:14:20,027 --> 00:14:22,070
I remember when....

226
00:14:22,237 --> 00:14:27,201
When Julie and, uh,
what's her name, Tricia...

227
00:14:27,367 --> 00:14:29,161
...were that age.

228
00:14:29,328 --> 00:14:34,249
If it wasn't about makeup or
Frankie Avalon, they didn't give a hoot.

229
00:14:35,375 --> 00:14:38,629
- Aw. You're the softest dog.
- What should I do with them?

230
00:14:39,254 --> 00:14:41,131
I'll take care of it.

231
00:14:44,092 --> 00:14:46,136
How're you doing, young ladies?

232
00:14:46,303 --> 00:14:48,013
What are your names?

233
00:14:48,180 --> 00:14:50,807
I'm Betsy and this is Arlene,
Mr. President.

234
00:14:50,974 --> 00:14:52,476
Call me Dick.

235
00:14:52,643 --> 00:14:54,102
Hi, Dick.

236
00:14:54,269 --> 00:14:55,270
How old are you?

237
00:14:55,521 --> 00:14:56,813
- Fifteen.
- Fifteen.

238
00:14:56,980 --> 00:14:59,274
- Well--
- We have an urgent communiqué...

239
00:14:59,441 --> 00:15:01,109
...from Anderson Air Force Base.

240
00:15:01,276 --> 00:15:02,319
What?

241
00:15:02,486 --> 00:15:04,029
So cute.

242
00:15:04,196 --> 00:15:08,116
Excuse me, I wasn't informed
that you are in the middle of....

243
00:15:08,283 --> 00:15:10,244
What are you in the middle of?

244
00:15:10,410 --> 00:15:12,287
One minute, Henry.

245
00:15:12,496 --> 00:15:13,830
Uh, young ladies...

246
00:15:14,748 --> 00:15:17,167
...I've got a proposition for you.

247
00:15:18,001 --> 00:15:20,379
How would you two
be interested in being...

248
00:15:20,629 --> 00:15:24,550
...official White House dog walkers?
What do you think?

249
00:15:26,635 --> 00:15:28,845
- Really?
- Yeah.

250
00:15:29,304 --> 00:15:30,681
Jesus.

251
00:15:30,847 --> 00:15:32,808
Who are these little girls, Henry?

252
00:15:32,975 --> 00:15:35,561
I don't know, but it doesn't
look constitutional to me.

253
00:15:35,727 --> 00:15:36,770
Thank you!

254
00:15:36,937 --> 00:15:39,439
- Thank you so much.
- We're gonna walk you!

255
00:15:39,731 --> 00:15:42,484
- I'm so happy.
- Thank you. I'm really excited!

256
00:15:42,651 --> 00:15:44,319
Sure. Very good.

257
00:15:44,486 --> 00:15:47,531
Mr. President, really,
we have to make a decision...

258
00:15:47,781 --> 00:15:51,326
...regarding offensive action
north of the 22nd parallel.

259
00:15:51,493 --> 00:15:53,245
Bottom line, Henry...

260
00:15:53,412 --> 00:15:56,248
...is we bomb them
or we don't, isn't it?

261
00:15:56,415 --> 00:15:58,250
I wouldn't put it exactly in that--

262
00:15:58,875 --> 00:16:00,168
I have something to say.

263
00:16:00,335 --> 00:16:01,378
Go on, Arlene.

264
00:16:03,088 --> 00:16:07,092
War is not healthy for children
and other living things.

265
00:16:07,259 --> 00:16:08,885
- Yeah.
- Henry...

266
00:16:09,052 --> 00:16:11,597
...that's the voice
of the youth of America.

267
00:16:12,347 --> 00:16:14,099
Yeah, well, first of all...

268
00:16:14,266 --> 00:16:17,060
...it wasn't a war
that this administration started.

269
00:16:17,603 --> 00:16:20,105
Henry, Jesus, let's not start that.

270
00:16:20,355 --> 00:16:22,733
Isn't there somebody
waiting out there for me?

271
00:16:22,899 --> 00:16:24,693
The Joint Chiefs of Staff.
Let's go!

272
00:16:24,860 --> 00:16:27,446
Welcome on board.
Hey, good to have you.

273
00:16:28,780 --> 00:16:30,115
Mr. Haldeman, it's your wife.

274
00:16:30,282 --> 00:16:32,534
Have a great day. Congratulations!

275
00:16:32,701 --> 00:16:34,703
I don't have time to talk to her.

276
00:16:34,953 --> 00:16:38,373
- You're starting another war!
- I don't have time to talk to her.

277
00:16:38,540 --> 00:16:41,668
If you have a problem with Vietnam,
talk to Johnson.

278
00:16:41,835 --> 00:16:44,046
- He's dead!
- Yeah, thank God.

279
00:16:44,212 --> 00:16:47,716
Do we bomb or not bomb?
Let's get this done with today.

280
00:16:49,259 --> 00:16:50,510
Wow.

281
00:16:55,390 --> 00:16:57,017
There they are.

282
00:16:58,685 --> 00:17:00,437
Oh! Whoops!

283
00:17:01,396 --> 00:17:02,522
I'm sorry!

284
00:17:02,773 --> 00:17:04,566
We're coming!

285
00:17:05,942 --> 00:17:08,278
Because of your thoughtlessness...

286
00:17:08,445 --> 00:17:11,490
...we have missed the field trip lunch
at McDonald's...

287
00:17:11,657 --> 00:17:15,410
...which the students on
the other buses are now enjoying.

288
00:17:15,577 --> 00:17:17,454
We will return to school...

289
00:17:17,621 --> 00:17:19,748
...for a cold lunch...

290
00:17:20,374 --> 00:17:21,583
...in the cafeteria.

291
00:17:22,417 --> 00:17:25,420
But we really did meet the president.
I swear to God.

292
00:17:25,587 --> 00:17:29,132
And he did ask us to be the
official White House dog walkers.

293
00:17:32,094 --> 00:17:34,388
Every lie is another brick...

294
00:17:34,554 --> 00:17:37,641
...in the pathway to hell.

295
00:17:51,405 --> 00:17:52,989
You're so stupid.

296
00:17:54,032 --> 00:17:55,450
I hate you.

297
00:18:38,201 --> 00:18:40,495
Guess what happened to us today?

298
00:18:44,499 --> 00:18:45,834
What's the matter?

299
00:18:46,001 --> 00:18:48,503
Your brother got his letter.

300
00:18:49,588 --> 00:18:51,506
I got drafted.

301
00:18:52,007 --> 00:18:55,218
Now you can get my room,
like you always wanted.

302
00:19:06,521 --> 00:19:08,273
Betsy, are you okay?

303
00:19:11,610 --> 00:19:12,861
I'm fine.

304
00:19:13,862 --> 00:19:18,033
I was wondering what we'll do with
his crappy bed, dresser and nightstand.

305
00:19:20,535 --> 00:19:24,039
You think the president meant it
when he said we could walk Checkers?

306
00:19:24,289 --> 00:19:27,209
He's the president, Betsy.
He always means what he says.

307
00:19:27,459 --> 00:19:29,211
We should bake him cookies.

308
00:19:29,544 --> 00:19:32,631
Let's make Hello Dollies.
It's my mom's special recipe.

309
00:19:39,429 --> 00:19:43,141
All's my mom says is that my dad died
in a car crash before I was born.

310
00:19:43,433 --> 00:19:45,894
You've never seen
a single picture or anything?

311
00:19:46,144 --> 00:19:49,564
She said it upset her too much,
so she threw everything away.

312
00:19:50,232 --> 00:19:51,274
Arlene...

313
00:19:51,441 --> 00:19:54,444
...no offense, but it's obvious
you're being lied to.

314
00:19:54,611 --> 00:19:56,780
The whole story is way too convenient.

315
00:19:59,574 --> 00:20:01,243
- Is the butter melting?
- Mm-hm.

316
00:20:03,161 --> 00:20:04,830
Are you making those cookies?

317
00:20:05,080 --> 00:20:06,706
Yes, but you can't have any.

318
00:20:06,873 --> 00:20:09,334
- They're for the president.
- Oh.

319
00:20:10,252 --> 00:20:11,628
Okay.

320
00:20:11,795 --> 00:20:14,548
Don't forget the walnuts, man.

321
00:20:20,262 --> 00:20:23,014
So you really think
that my father could be alive?

322
00:20:23,181 --> 00:20:26,142
Alive and famous.
It makes perfect sense.

323
00:20:26,309 --> 00:20:27,686
He was probably married...

324
00:20:27,853 --> 00:20:31,481
...and your mom had to keep it
a secret to protect his reputation.

325
00:20:34,943 --> 00:20:37,529
How come there's little
green leaves in the walnuts?

326
00:20:37,696 --> 00:20:39,739
Oh. Larry says they're just
from the walnut tree.

327
00:20:39,906 --> 00:20:41,575
- Oh.
- Anyway...

328
00:20:41,741 --> 00:20:45,120
...your dad could be watching you now,
his heart breaking...

329
00:20:45,287 --> 00:20:49,499
...because he can't reach out
to the only person that matters to him:

330
00:20:49,666 --> 00:20:51,793
His beautiful, darling daughter.

331
00:20:51,960 --> 00:20:54,296
My life is so tragic.

332
00:20:54,713 --> 00:20:56,965
Or it could be even worse.

333
00:20:57,132 --> 00:20:59,843
What if you fall in love
and are about to marry...

334
00:21:00,093 --> 00:21:02,596
...and you find out your
fiancé's dad is your dad too...

335
00:21:02,762 --> 00:21:04,556
...and that you're brother and sister!

336
00:21:04,723 --> 00:21:05,974
Oh, my God!

337
00:21:07,017 --> 00:21:08,894
It's called incest, Arlene...

338
00:21:09,519 --> 00:21:11,354
...and it's against the law.

339
00:21:21,072 --> 00:21:22,407
Hi.

340
00:21:23,491 --> 00:21:26,745
We're here to play with Checkers.
The president knows about it.

341
00:21:26,912 --> 00:21:29,664
You're not on the appointment list.
Please step back.

342
00:21:30,790 --> 00:21:33,960
The president wants us
to walk his dog, Checkers.

343
00:21:34,586 --> 00:21:38,131
Please step back.
If you don't comply, you'll be removed.

344
00:21:41,217 --> 00:21:42,928
You are a meanie!

345
00:21:47,390 --> 00:21:48,600
Stupid kids.

346
00:21:49,851 --> 00:21:51,770
<i>I'm cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs!</i>

347
00:21:52,562 --> 00:21:55,523
<i>I can't believe
I ate that whole thing.</i>

348
00:21:55,690 --> 00:21:57,025
<i>You ate it, Ralph.</i>

349
00:22:00,695 --> 00:22:05,075
Doesn't anybody realize
that Kung Fu isn't Chinese?

350
00:22:06,451 --> 00:22:09,829
He doesn't even look Chinese.
He looks like the mailman.

351
00:22:10,789 --> 00:22:13,583
Why don't you go to Canada
like Mom says?

352
00:22:13,750 --> 00:22:17,712
Too much information's coming in.
I have to maintain.

353
00:22:18,171 --> 00:22:20,048
But the old drugs aren't working.

354
00:22:20,215 --> 00:22:22,842
We need to create new drugs.

355
00:22:25,762 --> 00:22:28,264
Have you guys
been eating those cookies?

356
00:22:28,431 --> 00:22:30,558
We gave them
to Mom and Dad to taste.

357
00:22:30,725 --> 00:22:33,937
They ate all of them
and started giggling and went upstairs.

358
00:22:34,104 --> 00:22:35,772
I think they're having sex now.

359
00:22:37,232 --> 00:22:43,405
<i>♪ Louie, Louie, Louie, Louie
Louie, Louie, Louie, Louie... ♪</i>

360
00:22:43,613 --> 00:22:44,864
<i>I have an idea.</i>

361
00:22:45,448 --> 00:22:46,449
What?

362
00:22:46,783 --> 00:22:49,035
Let's ask the president
to stop the war.

363
00:22:50,078 --> 00:22:51,746
Okay.

364
00:22:51,913 --> 00:22:53,873
How will we get
into the White House?

365
00:22:54,040 --> 00:22:57,544
Unless you wanna keep the war going,
so you can have Larry's room.

366
00:22:58,628 --> 00:23:00,005
No.

367
00:23:00,922 --> 00:23:03,091
Larry's a freak and all...

368
00:23:03,550 --> 00:23:06,344
...but I'd be sad if he, you know....

369
00:23:08,179 --> 00:23:10,390
- Died?
- Yeah.

370
00:23:12,225 --> 00:23:14,019
I really hope that this works.

371
00:23:14,310 --> 00:23:15,311
Of course it will.

372
00:23:15,478 --> 00:23:17,689
You're the smartest person I know.

373
00:23:19,441 --> 00:23:20,859
But you don't know anybody.

374
00:23:24,863 --> 00:23:27,907
<i>♪ Louie, Louie, Louie, Louie ♪</i>

375
00:23:29,034 --> 00:23:32,996
<i>♪ Louie, Louie, I gotta go ♪♪</i>

376
00:23:34,456 --> 00:23:35,707
If you flirt with him...

377
00:23:35,874 --> 00:23:39,002
...then I can stand off to the side
and do my special whistle.

378
00:23:39,169 --> 00:23:40,378
Okay!

379
00:23:57,812 --> 00:23:58,813
Hi.

380
00:24:02,817 --> 00:24:05,779
I like your hair.
It's really "dry look."

381
00:24:09,574 --> 00:24:11,534
Oh! Okay, stop that.

382
00:24:11,701 --> 00:24:13,787
We have to talk to the president.

383
00:24:13,953 --> 00:24:15,497
Code yellow, central corridor.

384
00:24:15,663 --> 00:24:17,999
Code yellow, central corridor.

385
00:24:18,166 --> 00:24:19,834
Aah! Oh, my God!

386
00:24:20,668 --> 00:24:21,920
Ladies, this way.

387
00:24:23,338 --> 00:24:24,506
Let's go.

388
00:24:25,840 --> 00:24:28,551
Make sure photographers
are outside the restaurant...

389
00:24:28,718 --> 00:24:30,303
...when I come out after lunch.

390
00:24:30,470 --> 00:24:32,555
- Let me go.
- Keep moving.

391
00:24:32,722 --> 00:24:34,682
Hey, German guy!
Remember us?

392
00:24:34,849 --> 00:24:37,769
We're here to walk Checkers
and talk to Dick about the war!

393
00:24:37,936 --> 00:24:39,437
Oh. Oh.

394
00:24:39,854 --> 00:24:41,022
I know them.

395
00:24:41,314 --> 00:24:46,027
Yes, that's all right. That's okay.
I'm familiar with these young ladies.

396
00:24:46,194 --> 00:24:49,489
Well, I'm not "familiar" familiar.
I know them.

397
00:24:49,656 --> 00:24:53,076
We've had discussions
about foreign policy and....

398
00:24:53,326 --> 00:24:55,495
What, what?
Don't you give me that look.

399
00:24:55,995 --> 00:24:57,705
I'll take responsibility.

400
00:24:57,872 --> 00:25:00,041
I'll be the only person
who's willing...

401
00:25:00,208 --> 00:25:02,127
...to take responsibility
for anything.

402
00:25:02,293 --> 00:25:04,671
- I think I got bruised.
- Did somebody hurt you?

403
00:25:05,922 --> 00:25:08,967
You have to remember
it took Charles de Gaulle...

404
00:25:09,134 --> 00:25:12,262
...four years to extricate
himself from Algeria.

405
00:25:12,512 --> 00:25:14,806
Not that I'm comparing
myself to de Gaulle.

406
00:25:14,973 --> 00:25:17,642
- Wars are extremely hard to stop.
- You're right.

407
00:25:17,892 --> 00:25:20,562
Rose, these young--
You're very becoming this morning.

408
00:25:20,812 --> 00:25:22,689
These ladies want
to see the president.

409
00:25:22,897 --> 00:25:26,776
Our president has the weight
of the free world on his shoulders...

410
00:25:26,943 --> 00:25:29,612
...and he doesn't have time
to see any old person.

411
00:25:30,864 --> 00:25:31,906
Hello, girls.

412
00:25:32,073 --> 00:25:33,491
- How are you?
- Oh, hi.

413
00:25:33,658 --> 00:25:36,911
- Come on in.
- The president will see you now.

414
00:25:38,329 --> 00:25:40,415
Not you, Henry.

415
00:25:40,665 --> 00:25:43,751
That's all right.
I'm late for an interview anyway...

416
00:25:43,918 --> 00:25:46,963
- ...with the Nobel Committee.
- Right.

417
00:25:47,630 --> 00:25:49,340
I'll be a monkey's uncle...

418
00:25:49,591 --> 00:25:52,969
...if these aren't
the yummiest cookies I've ever had.

419
00:25:54,179 --> 00:25:57,223
Thanks. It's a secret recipe.

420
00:25:57,390 --> 00:25:58,391
Secret, eh?

421
00:25:58,641 --> 00:25:59,809
Anyway...

422
00:26:00,685 --> 00:26:02,896
...there doesn't seem
to be any point to it.

423
00:26:03,438 --> 00:26:04,731
Point to what?

424
00:26:05,732 --> 00:26:06,774
The war.

425
00:26:10,820 --> 00:26:12,197
See, girls...

426
00:26:12,989 --> 00:26:17,410
...we're fighting the Communists
because Communism is immoral.

427
00:26:17,577 --> 00:26:19,204
That's the whole point.

428
00:26:19,913 --> 00:26:22,749
Don't you think it's more important
what's going on here?

429
00:26:22,916 --> 00:26:23,958
What do you mean?

430
00:26:24,667 --> 00:26:26,628
Well, I mean...

431
00:26:26,794 --> 00:26:29,380
...nobody at our school's
worried about Communism...

432
00:26:29,547 --> 00:26:33,259
...but everybody talks about Mac
Washington because he got killed there.

433
00:26:33,509 --> 00:26:36,679
- And Betsy's brother just got drafted.
- He's maintaining.

434
00:26:36,846 --> 00:26:38,932
- He's maintaining?
- Yeah.

435
00:26:39,098 --> 00:26:40,475
Good for him.

436
00:26:41,517 --> 00:26:45,021
I just think people would like you better
if you stopped the war.

437
00:26:45,188 --> 00:26:48,942
Well, don't worry your
pretty little heads. Okay?

438
00:26:49,108 --> 00:26:51,152
I think we know what we're doing.

439
00:26:53,363 --> 00:26:54,614
I guess so.

440
00:26:54,781 --> 00:26:57,617
Yeah. Mm, mm, mm.

441
00:26:59,494 --> 00:27:00,828
Can we walk Checkers now?

442
00:27:00,995 --> 00:27:02,997
Yeah, go ahead. Have a ball.

443
00:27:03,873 --> 00:27:05,333
Secret recipe, eh?

444
00:27:05,959 --> 00:27:08,002
I'm feeling lightheaded.

445
00:27:09,045 --> 00:27:11,047
These are scrumptious.

446
00:27:11,214 --> 00:27:14,592
Well, I've gotta tell you,
I haven't felt this way in--

447
00:27:19,097 --> 00:27:20,223
Whoa-ho.

448
00:27:23,017 --> 00:27:24,227
Whoo-hoo!

449
00:27:27,981 --> 00:27:30,441
Again? They must never let him out.

450
00:27:30,692 --> 00:27:32,652
I know. Would you look
at all that shit?

451
00:27:34,070 --> 00:27:35,571
Oh, I mean, poo-poo.

452
00:27:38,032 --> 00:27:40,118
I think it was left.

453
00:27:42,036 --> 00:27:44,539
That's because you couldn't go right.

454
00:27:49,502 --> 00:27:51,045
Well, let's ask someone.

455
00:27:54,132 --> 00:27:55,341
Or not.

456
00:27:56,050 --> 00:27:59,053
Come on.
Let's go, Checkers. Come on.

457
00:28:04,058 --> 00:28:05,476
Who the hell are you?

458
00:28:05,643 --> 00:28:06,853
Oh, um....

459
00:28:07,020 --> 00:28:10,940
We're walking the dog, Checkers,
and we sort of got lost.

460
00:28:11,107 --> 00:28:13,109
We went left because
you couldn't go right.

461
00:28:13,359 --> 00:28:16,029
And we're looking
for the president's office...

462
00:28:16,195 --> 00:28:18,906
...because that's who
we walk the dog for.

463
00:28:19,073 --> 00:28:21,367
- We're really sorry.
- Shit!

464
00:28:27,457 --> 00:28:30,251
Oh, I'm so sorry.
We brought your dog back.

465
00:28:30,418 --> 00:28:31,586
We didn't know!

466
00:28:31,753 --> 00:28:33,504
What in bejesus is going on?

467
00:28:39,802 --> 00:28:41,220
All right, settle down.

468
00:28:41,387 --> 00:28:43,097
What's going on, Bob?

469
00:28:43,264 --> 00:28:45,099
They walked in on the shredding.

470
00:28:46,100 --> 00:28:48,644
They actually saw
documents being shredded?

471
00:28:48,811 --> 00:28:49,937
Yes.

472
00:28:50,104 --> 00:28:52,398
And the cash for the payoffs.

473
00:28:53,941 --> 00:28:55,943
Checkers pooped.

474
00:28:56,903 --> 00:29:00,698
The president's dog doesn't poop.
He "does his business."

475
00:29:00,865 --> 00:29:02,325
- Um....
- Uh....

476
00:29:02,533 --> 00:29:04,077
I'll take care of it.

477
00:29:04,243 --> 00:29:07,622
I've got a way with young people.
They trust me.

478
00:29:08,539 --> 00:29:10,958
Why were they shredding
all that paper?

479
00:29:11,834 --> 00:29:15,046
Papier-mâché is a hobby of mine.

480
00:29:16,130 --> 00:29:18,466
- Nice painting of a boat.
- Yeah.

481
00:29:18,633 --> 00:29:20,259
Step right here, actually.

482
00:29:21,511 --> 00:29:24,931
I want to have a little
private chat with you.

483
00:29:25,139 --> 00:29:26,182
You know, today...

484
00:29:26,349 --> 00:29:31,145
...you ladies gave me some very, very
good counsel in foreign affairs.

485
00:29:31,396 --> 00:29:36,192
So in addition to being
official dog walkers...

486
00:29:36,442 --> 00:29:40,154
...I'd like you to be
my Secret Youth Advisers.

487
00:29:40,488 --> 00:29:43,116
Which means you mustn't
say a thing...

488
00:29:43,282 --> 00:29:46,369
...about anything that happens
in the White House.

489
00:29:46,619 --> 00:29:48,454
Do I have your word on that?

490
00:29:48,621 --> 00:29:49,997
Okay. Okay.

491
00:29:50,164 --> 00:29:51,666
Swear to God?

492
00:29:52,166 --> 00:29:53,292
- Promise.
- Hope to die?

493
00:29:53,459 --> 00:29:55,962
- Stick a needle in my eye!
- Stick a needle in my eye!

494
00:29:57,171 --> 00:29:58,881
Congratulations.

495
00:30:04,387 --> 00:30:06,764
Are you sure, man?
Are we sure it's over?

496
00:30:07,014 --> 00:30:08,057
Honey...

497
00:30:08,224 --> 00:30:12,145
...it's the president.
He's on national TV.

498
00:30:12,311 --> 00:30:16,524
If he says the war is over,
I think you can believe him.

499
00:30:18,025 --> 00:30:19,068
Sweetie.

500
00:30:19,318 --> 00:30:22,280
<i>At 12:30 Paris-time today...</i>

501
00:30:22,530 --> 00:30:26,033
<i>...January 23, 1973....</i>

502
00:30:27,118 --> 00:30:28,619
What's going on?

503
00:30:30,413 --> 00:30:32,206
I'm gonna live.

504
00:30:32,415 --> 00:30:35,460
They're pulling everybody out
of Vietnam. The war's over.

505
00:30:36,002 --> 00:30:38,171
I don't believe it.

506
00:30:38,963 --> 00:30:40,089
She's bumming...

507
00:30:40,256 --> 00:30:43,801
...because her dreams
of being an only child are dashed.

508
00:30:44,093 --> 00:30:45,887
Larry, stop it.

509
00:30:47,305 --> 00:30:49,098
I'm not supposed to tell you this.

510
00:30:49,807 --> 00:30:53,603
But Arlene and I are the ones who asked
the president to stop the war.

511
00:30:54,270 --> 00:30:56,564
We did it because
we felt sorry for you.

512
00:30:57,440 --> 00:30:59,150
You should be thanking me.

513
00:31:01,194 --> 00:31:03,321
I just want you to know...

514
00:31:03,571 --> 00:31:06,282
...whatever she's on,
I didn't give it to her.

515
00:31:08,868 --> 00:31:11,537
Well, all right.
Grooving right along.

516
00:31:11,787 --> 00:31:15,625
Betsy Jobs, your turn
to come on up and express yourself.

517
00:31:23,716 --> 00:31:25,301
Current events.

518
00:31:27,720 --> 00:31:31,933
I probably shouldn't be telling you this
because of national security...

519
00:31:32,099 --> 00:31:34,352
...but what the heck.

520
00:31:34,727 --> 00:31:37,188
Arlene Lorenzo and I...

521
00:31:37,647 --> 00:31:40,399
...are Secret Youth Advisers
for President Nixon.

522
00:31:40,983 --> 00:31:44,195
"--in addition to being the
official White House dog walkers.

523
00:31:44,362 --> 00:31:47,073
It's fun being
a Secret Youth Adviser.

524
00:31:47,240 --> 00:31:49,992
The president trusts us
with national issues."

525
00:31:50,159 --> 00:31:52,662
We bake him cookies
called Hello Dollies...

526
00:31:52,828 --> 00:31:55,039
...that he loves,
and are easy to make.

527
00:31:55,331 --> 00:31:59,043
You get graham cracker crumbs,
sweetened condensed milk...

528
00:31:59,335 --> 00:32:01,837
...and all this other stuff,
and you bake them.

529
00:32:02,088 --> 00:32:04,173
But they're really good.

530
00:32:04,340 --> 00:32:07,260
"I like being a Secret Youth Adviser
to the resident...

531
00:32:07,426 --> 00:32:10,930
...because it means I am helping
to run the country. The end."

532
00:32:13,349 --> 00:32:15,768
How dare you...

533
00:32:16,227 --> 00:32:18,437
...come up in front of the class...

534
00:32:18,980 --> 00:32:22,358
...and make up lies
about our president?

535
00:32:22,692 --> 00:32:25,403
Absolutely wild.

536
00:32:26,112 --> 00:32:30,491
And I really dug the way
you used fantasy...

537
00:32:30,741 --> 00:32:31,826
...current events...

538
00:32:31,993 --> 00:32:36,455
...and cooking in a kind
of tapestry of storytelling.

539
00:32:37,039 --> 00:32:38,249
Thank you, Betsy.

540
00:32:38,416 --> 00:32:41,377
That was real special.
Thank you. Give her a hand.

541
00:32:41,669 --> 00:32:43,170
Thank you. Thanks.

542
00:32:45,506 --> 00:32:47,216
- Hi.
- Hi.

543
00:32:49,385 --> 00:32:50,845
Got the cookies?

544
00:32:51,470 --> 00:32:52,680
Uh-huh.

545
00:32:55,141 --> 00:32:56,350
- Yeah.
- Oh, yeah.

546
00:33:03,524 --> 00:33:06,110
- I've been dreaming about these.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.

547
00:33:08,821 --> 00:33:10,823
- Bye.
- Bye.

548
00:33:10,990 --> 00:33:12,033
What's that mean?

549
00:33:13,075 --> 00:33:14,118
Peace.

550
00:33:14,285 --> 00:33:15,953
Oh. Good.

551
00:33:16,412 --> 00:33:17,955
I mean, uh...

552
00:33:18,289 --> 00:33:19,582
...groovy.

553
00:33:20,124 --> 00:33:22,001
- Bye.
- Bye.

554
00:33:22,418 --> 00:33:23,544
Come on, Checkers.

555
00:34:36,575 --> 00:34:39,203
There's something different about you.

556
00:34:39,912 --> 00:34:41,872
Why aren't you wearing your glasses?

557
00:34:42,123 --> 00:34:44,083
Because I got contact lenses.

558
00:34:49,505 --> 00:34:52,133
- Looks cool!
- Okay. Thanks!

559
00:34:52,967 --> 00:34:53,968
Hi, Rose.

560
00:34:54,135 --> 00:34:56,846
It is imperative
that we put a freeze...

561
00:34:57,012 --> 00:34:59,682
...on nuclear weapons
of mass destruction.

562
00:35:02,226 --> 00:35:05,312
Yeah, I know what <i>nyet nyet</i> means.

563
00:35:06,021 --> 00:35:08,065
Excuse me a moment, Leonid.

564
00:35:10,735 --> 00:35:13,028
Settle down, Checkers.

565
00:35:13,696 --> 00:35:15,531
Hello, girls. How are you?

566
00:35:15,781 --> 00:35:17,742
Are these what I think they are?

567
00:35:19,618 --> 00:35:20,661
Nice to see you.

568
00:35:21,370 --> 00:35:22,496
Leonid.

569
00:35:22,663 --> 00:35:25,583
You gotta try one of these cookies.

570
00:35:25,833 --> 00:35:30,504
I assure you, there's nothing
like them in all the Soviet Union.

571
00:35:31,255 --> 00:35:32,548
Go ahead.

572
00:35:35,509 --> 00:35:37,678
They're called Hello Dollies.

573
00:35:43,934 --> 00:35:45,060
What are they?

574
00:35:46,687 --> 00:35:48,564
What do you think, Leonid?

575
00:35:51,567 --> 00:35:53,235
Hello Dollies, eh?

576
00:35:57,823 --> 00:36:00,367
♪ Hello, Dolly ♪

577
00:36:00,576 --> 00:36:03,579
♪ Well, Hello, Dolly ♪

578
00:36:03,746 --> 00:36:08,375
♪ It's so nice to have you back
Where you belong ♪

579
00:36:10,586 --> 00:36:11,754
Sing something.

580
00:36:12,046 --> 00:36:15,925
♪ You're looking swell, Dolly
I can tell, Dolly ♪

581
00:36:16,842 --> 00:36:21,013
♪ You're still glowing
You're still growing ♪

582
00:36:21,263 --> 00:36:24,183
♪ You're still going strong ♪

583
00:36:28,395 --> 00:36:29,438
You know, girls...

584
00:36:29,605 --> 00:36:32,483
...I think your cookies
have just saved the world...

585
00:36:32,650 --> 00:36:34,944
...from nuclear catastrophe.

586
00:36:35,444 --> 00:36:36,445
Ha!

587
00:36:38,447 --> 00:36:40,741
There you go, Leonid.
Hello, Dolly.

588
00:36:41,325 --> 00:36:44,620
♪ Golly gee, fellas ♪

589
00:36:45,162 --> 00:36:48,374
♪ I'll have another of those ♪

590
00:37:32,418 --> 00:37:33,878
Arlene.

591
00:37:34,503 --> 00:37:36,672
Come away with me.

592
00:37:37,339 --> 00:37:39,133
But what about Pat?

593
00:37:39,300 --> 00:37:41,343
She understands.

594
00:38:59,588 --> 00:39:06,512
<i>♪ I can't stop this feeling
Deep inside of me ♪</i>

595
00:39:07,805 --> 00:39:13,018
<i>♪ Girl, you don't realize
What you do to me ♪</i>

596
00:39:13,185 --> 00:39:14,478
Arlene, watch out!

597
00:39:18,774 --> 00:39:20,985
- Oh, my God! Are you all right?
- Uh-huh.

598
00:39:21,276 --> 00:39:23,737
Quick, tell me what your name is!

599
00:39:24,530 --> 00:39:26,281
Rhoda Morgenstern.

600
00:39:28,784 --> 00:39:30,828
I am so embarrassed.

601
00:39:31,620 --> 00:39:34,456
- I don't think anyone saw.
- Freak!

602
00:39:45,134 --> 00:39:47,511
Has something been
on your mind lately?

603
00:39:48,137 --> 00:39:49,388
No.

604
00:39:50,347 --> 00:39:52,349
There isn't some deep feeling...

605
00:39:52,599 --> 00:39:55,352
...you need to confess
to your best and only friend?

606
00:39:55,519 --> 00:39:56,812
What are you talking about?

607
00:39:57,021 --> 00:39:58,772
- Just say it!
- Say what?

608
00:39:58,939 --> 00:40:00,816
Just say it, because I already know!

609
00:40:01,025 --> 00:40:03,193
All right, I love Dick!

610
00:40:07,072 --> 00:40:08,282
Ew!

611
00:40:12,077 --> 00:40:15,831
This is everything about
him and us since we first met.

612
00:40:16,915 --> 00:40:20,169
Okay. Here's me as his wife.

613
00:40:20,335 --> 00:40:22,838
- It looks so real.
- Thank you.

614
00:40:25,049 --> 00:40:28,135
- This is cartoon Dick.
- It's cute. I like that one.

615
00:40:29,094 --> 00:40:31,430
This is our White House souvenir.

616
00:40:32,389 --> 00:40:34,808
Oh. Look, I found these
old magazine clippings...

617
00:40:34,975 --> 00:40:37,311
...with stuff about him
when he was young.

618
00:40:37,561 --> 00:40:38,854
Look.

619
00:40:39,646 --> 00:40:41,982
He's way more distinguished now.

620
00:40:42,149 --> 00:40:43,817
- Yeah.
- Yeah.

621
00:40:43,984 --> 00:40:47,988
<i>A jury today convicted
G. Gordon Liddy and James McCord...</i>

622
00:40:48,155 --> 00:40:51,533
<i>...of eight counts, including burglary,
in the Watergate break-in.</i>

623
00:40:51,700 --> 00:40:55,287
Ugh. Enough already.
I am sick of Watergate.

624
00:40:55,537 --> 00:40:57,581
And I am sick
of Woodward and Bernstein.

625
00:40:58,791 --> 00:40:59,833
Who are they?

626
00:41:00,000 --> 00:41:01,960
Snot-nosed <i>Washington Post</i> reporters...

627
00:41:02,127 --> 00:41:04,338
...who are trying
to disgrace the president.

628
00:41:04,505 --> 00:41:06,048
Anybody want some more Jell-O?

629
00:41:06,423 --> 00:41:07,591
Yes, please. Here.

630
00:41:08,133 --> 00:41:09,176
Betsy, look.

631
00:41:09,343 --> 00:41:11,470
<i>One more question, Mr. Liddy.</i>

632
00:41:11,637 --> 00:41:15,641
<i>- The White House denied involvement.</i>
- He's so familiar.

633
00:41:16,934 --> 00:41:18,268
It's that weird guy!

634
00:41:18,894 --> 00:41:21,688
- What was he doing at the White House?
- I don't know.

635
00:41:23,315 --> 00:41:24,817
Done! We're going upstairs.

636
00:41:25,317 --> 00:41:28,028
<i>A spokesman
for the Administration once again...</i>

637
00:41:28,195 --> 00:41:31,573
<i>...denied any participation
in the Watergate burglary.</i>

638
00:41:31,740 --> 00:41:35,369
<i>President Nixon is said to be
in seclusion with advisers.</i>

639
00:41:37,913 --> 00:41:39,498
It's starting.

640
00:41:45,587 --> 00:41:47,089
Goddamn it!

641
00:41:49,216 --> 00:41:51,760
- Hello?
- Hello.

642
00:41:51,927 --> 00:41:53,595
Mr. President, this is Arlene.

643
00:41:53,762 --> 00:41:54,805
Oh.

644
00:41:55,430 --> 00:41:56,765
Yeah. Hello, Arlene. Yeah.

645
00:41:56,932 --> 00:41:58,934
<i>- I'm not waking you, am I?</i>
- No, no. No, no.

646
00:41:59,143 --> 00:42:01,186
- Uh, I'm a night owl.
<i>- Oh.</i>

647
00:42:01,645 --> 00:42:03,772
What's the deal with
that Watergate thing?

648
00:42:03,939 --> 00:42:06,358
- Do you know anything about it?
- Uh....

649
00:42:06,567 --> 00:42:08,527
No. No, no.

650
00:42:08,694 --> 00:42:12,030
No, no, absolutely nothing.
I don't know a thing.

651
00:42:12,322 --> 00:42:14,158
No way, José!

652
00:42:14,324 --> 00:42:16,243
Oh, because I live in the Watergate...

653
00:42:16,410 --> 00:42:19,913
...and one time we saw
that Liddy guy there...

654
00:42:20,080 --> 00:42:24,209
...then we saw him at the White House,
and now he's gonna go to jail.

655
00:42:26,628 --> 00:42:30,424
Arlene, is there something
I can do for you...

656
00:42:30,591 --> 00:42:32,176
<i>...or your family?</i>

657
00:42:32,426 --> 00:42:33,427
No.

658
00:42:33,594 --> 00:42:36,555
There must be something you desire.

659
00:42:38,974 --> 00:42:40,893
I have to go now. Good night.

660
00:42:43,478 --> 00:42:45,189
My sweet prince.

661
00:42:45,355 --> 00:42:46,982
<i>I think he's a vampire.</i>

662
00:42:47,149 --> 00:42:49,985
<i>Ha-ha-ha.
But he doesn't even have a tuxedo.</i>

663
00:42:50,652 --> 00:42:53,238
<i>Oh, Myrna, you are something.</i>

664
00:42:53,488 --> 00:42:55,282
<i>You are really something.</i>

665
00:43:01,455 --> 00:43:04,124
Pat, will you stop snoring,
goddamn it!

666
00:43:04,374 --> 00:43:06,919
My head is about to explode!

667
00:43:09,004 --> 00:43:11,006
So you're the president's lawyer?

668
00:43:11,256 --> 00:43:12,758
Yes.

669
00:43:15,761 --> 00:43:18,013
Why does the president need
a lawyer?

670
00:43:21,642 --> 00:43:24,102
Good question. I, uh, just....

671
00:43:26,104 --> 00:43:27,147
I don't know.

672
00:43:31,568 --> 00:43:33,695
- It's you two.
- Mr. President.

673
00:43:33,862 --> 00:43:37,199
The Attorney General
is waiting upstairs, sir.

674
00:43:37,366 --> 00:43:38,533
Didn't I fire him?

675
00:43:38,700 --> 00:43:40,118
It's the new one, sir.

676
00:43:42,788 --> 00:43:44,122
Yeah.

677
00:43:51,380 --> 00:43:53,924
- We're here to walk Checkers.
- Oh, my goodness!

678
00:43:54,091 --> 00:43:58,845
I'm so busy that I sometimes forget
about the rest of God's creatures.

679
00:44:00,514 --> 00:44:04,142
- Here. I'll be back after lunch.
- Okay.

680
00:44:04,935 --> 00:44:06,353
Bye.

681
00:44:16,738 --> 00:44:18,115
Look.

682
00:44:18,365 --> 00:44:20,492
We should leave a message for Dick.

683
00:44:20,659 --> 00:44:22,077
Like what?

684
00:44:24,997 --> 00:44:26,581
Arlene...

685
00:44:27,708 --> 00:44:30,585
...I think it's time
you told him how you feel.

686
00:44:32,921 --> 00:44:34,006
I can't.

687
00:44:34,172 --> 00:44:37,384
Maybe he loves you too, but he
doesn't think you're interested.

688
00:44:41,138 --> 00:44:43,307
If you care for him at all...

689
00:44:43,724 --> 00:44:45,392
...you'll tell him.

690
00:44:48,979 --> 00:44:51,106
Okay, you just have to go first.

691
00:45:00,574 --> 00:45:02,034
Hi, Mr. President!

692
00:45:02,200 --> 00:45:04,077
This is Betsy and Arlene.

693
00:45:04,244 --> 00:45:08,623
We wanted to thank you for letting us
be your Secret Youth Advisers...

694
00:45:08,874 --> 00:45:12,127
...and for, um,
letting us walk Checkers...

695
00:45:12,294 --> 00:45:13,712
...and for....

696
00:45:16,256 --> 00:45:17,257
Well....

697
00:45:17,466 --> 00:45:20,052
I don't know what else for,
so here's Arlene.

698
00:45:20,218 --> 00:45:23,347
She has something
very personal to tell you.

699
00:45:25,766 --> 00:45:27,184
I love you.

700
00:45:27,809 --> 00:45:29,311
Um....

701
00:45:31,813 --> 00:45:35,150
I know that you have a lot
of things on your mind...

702
00:45:35,359 --> 00:45:38,070
...because you're
the president and all. Um....

703
00:45:40,197 --> 00:45:43,158
But I can't keep my feelings
inside any longer.

704
00:45:43,367 --> 00:45:45,494
I've never felt this way
about anyone...

705
00:45:45,744 --> 00:45:48,080
...not even Bobby Sherman,
who I adore...

706
00:45:48,246 --> 00:45:51,166
...but now I realize that
that was just puppy love...

707
00:45:51,708 --> 00:45:53,043
...and this is the real thing.

708
00:45:53,210 --> 00:45:55,087
Hey, Checkers. Hi, sweetie.

709
00:45:55,253 --> 00:45:59,091
I realize you're married and that
we can never really be together...

710
00:45:59,383 --> 00:46:00,717
...but I'll love you forever.

711
00:46:00,884 --> 00:46:02,386
Good boy.

712
00:46:03,970 --> 00:46:05,514
- Poo-poo.
- Um...

713
00:46:06,139 --> 00:46:08,767
...there's this song
by Olivia Newton-John...

714
00:46:09,184 --> 00:46:12,187
...that I think best describes
the way I feel about you.

715
00:46:13,563 --> 00:46:15,190
It goes like this:

716
00:46:16,983 --> 00:46:19,194
♪ I love you ♪

717
00:46:19,986 --> 00:46:22,280
♪ I honestly love you ♪

718
00:46:23,907 --> 00:46:26,743
♪ You don't have to answer ♪

719
00:46:27,202 --> 00:46:30,205
♪ I could see it in your eyes ♪

720
00:46:30,622 --> 00:46:33,083
♪ But it's coming from my heart ♪

721
00:46:33,250 --> 00:46:37,087
♪ And not my head ♪♪

722
00:46:38,547 --> 00:46:41,550
And then there was that time...

723
00:46:41,842 --> 00:46:44,219
...when you put your hand
on my shoulder...

724
00:46:44,761 --> 00:46:48,932
...and I got this warm,
tingly feeling inside.

725
00:46:49,349 --> 00:46:52,644
And I knew, right then,
at that moment--

726
00:46:52,894 --> 00:46:56,565
They'll be back soon.
You've been on for 18 and a half minutes.

727
00:46:57,899 --> 00:47:00,819
Oh. I have to go now. Goodbye.

728
00:47:00,986 --> 00:47:03,155
I can't believe you were
talking that whole time.

729
00:47:03,321 --> 00:47:05,615
- What did you say?
- Heh.

730
00:47:05,991 --> 00:47:07,159
- Stuff.
- Oh. Ha-ha-ha.

731
00:47:07,325 --> 00:47:08,910
It's personal.

732
00:47:09,161 --> 00:47:10,829
I want to make sure it recorded.

733
00:47:13,999 --> 00:47:17,043
<i>Hunt's link to Colson is a problem.</i>

734
00:47:17,252 --> 00:47:18,837
I must've pushed fast-forward.

735
00:47:22,799 --> 00:47:26,052
<i>We can arrange for Hunt
to disappear in Latin America.</i>

736
00:47:26,261 --> 00:47:29,723
<i>And we could always
un-disappear him if we want to.</i>

737
00:47:34,019 --> 00:47:35,770
<i>Get down off of me, Checkers.</i>

738
00:47:35,937 --> 00:47:38,398
<i>Get down off of me,
you piece of shit!</i>

739
00:47:41,276 --> 00:47:45,780
<i>So let me tell you something.
We are going to use any means.</i>

740
00:47:50,494 --> 00:47:53,997
<i>I just don't want this whole
fucking Watergate business...</i>

741
00:47:54,247 --> 00:47:55,290
<i>...biting me in the ass!</i>

742
00:47:55,499 --> 00:47:58,376
<i>You know the goddamn Jews
are out to get me!</i>

743
00:48:03,924 --> 00:48:06,218
I don't think
the president of the U.S...

744
00:48:06,384 --> 00:48:09,304
...should be recording
conversations like that.

745
00:48:13,725 --> 00:48:17,312
- Make it 8:30.
- Okay, Mr. President, will do.

746
00:48:17,687 --> 00:48:19,940
Ooh, girls. Uh...

747
00:48:20,190 --> 00:48:21,942
...did Checkers do his business?

748
00:48:22,275 --> 00:48:23,693
Uh-huh.

749
00:48:23,860 --> 00:48:25,612
- Excellent.
- Good, good.

750
00:48:25,862 --> 00:48:29,115
I hope you left me
some of those yummy cookies.

751
00:48:29,491 --> 00:48:30,825
Take care.

752
00:48:32,786 --> 00:48:34,329
We have to go.

753
00:48:36,873 --> 00:48:38,333
Oh, my stars!

754
00:48:39,918 --> 00:48:41,836
Arlene!

755
00:48:43,088 --> 00:48:45,048
Arlene!

756
00:48:53,056 --> 00:48:54,849
Sounds very important.

757
00:48:56,351 --> 00:48:57,727
It is.

758
00:48:59,354 --> 00:49:00,939
Mr. President?

759
00:49:01,606 --> 00:49:02,691
What is it, Bob?

760
00:49:03,024 --> 00:49:05,569
I was wondering if you had
that package ready for me...

761
00:49:05,735 --> 00:49:07,696
...to take home over the weekend?

762
00:49:07,862 --> 00:49:11,157
Oh. Yeah, the musical tapes.

763
00:49:11,324 --> 00:49:12,450
Yeah.

764
00:49:13,201 --> 00:49:16,997
Bob and I are very big fans
of Guy Lombardo.

765
00:49:18,081 --> 00:49:19,916
I taped them myself.

766
00:49:20,333 --> 00:49:21,501
Let me know what you think.

767
00:49:21,668 --> 00:49:22,877
I will, sir.

768
00:49:27,591 --> 00:49:29,259
You were saying, Arlene?

769
00:49:31,052 --> 00:49:33,763
We don't think you've been
completely honest with us.

770
00:49:34,180 --> 00:49:38,184
If this is about
that Watergate nonsense...

771
00:49:38,518 --> 00:49:40,228
...let me say once again...

772
00:49:40,395 --> 00:49:42,939
...I had nothing to do with it, okay?

773
00:49:43,189 --> 00:49:46,735
It's a plot created
by my enemies to disgrace me!

774
00:49:46,901 --> 00:49:51,364
Those radical, muckraking bastards,
Woodward and Bernstein...

775
00:49:51,531 --> 00:49:52,907
...at the <i>Washington Post!</i>

776
00:49:53,074 --> 00:49:55,118
They're the liars here, you know!

777
00:49:55,410 --> 00:49:58,413
Always hiding behind
the goddamn First Amendment!

778
00:49:58,705 --> 00:50:00,332
Let me tell you something!

779
00:50:00,498 --> 00:50:03,627
It won't protect them from me!

780
00:50:06,212 --> 00:50:08,882
Actually, it was just about the dog.

781
00:50:09,215 --> 00:50:11,301
You act like you like him...

782
00:50:11,509 --> 00:50:13,261
...but we don't think you do.

783
00:50:14,596 --> 00:50:16,097
What dog?

784
00:50:18,808 --> 00:50:22,437
Now that you mention it,
people are talking about Watergate...

785
00:50:22,687 --> 00:50:24,147
...and they say you lied.

786
00:50:24,314 --> 00:50:26,441
And I'm Jewish.

787
00:50:26,775 --> 00:50:28,151
I know.

788
00:50:29,194 --> 00:50:30,779
I had you checked out.

789
00:50:33,490 --> 00:50:37,202
There's probably more in there
than you know about yourselves.

790
00:50:39,454 --> 00:50:41,122
- Even grades?
- Yeah.

791
00:50:41,289 --> 00:50:42,707
Grades...

792
00:50:43,208 --> 00:50:46,044
...your parents' income tax returns...

793
00:50:46,836 --> 00:50:49,547
...overdue library books.

794
00:50:49,714 --> 00:50:52,217
The whole kit and caboodle.

795
00:50:55,095 --> 00:50:57,472
Is there stuff
about my father in there?

796
00:50:59,099 --> 00:51:00,141
Who was he?

797
00:51:00,308 --> 00:51:04,312
A lady's shoe salesman
at Garfinkle's or some such place.

798
00:51:04,479 --> 00:51:07,524
Got hit by a garbage truck
at the age of 24.

799
00:51:08,483 --> 00:51:10,694
Your mom never said
it was a garbage truck.

800
00:51:10,860 --> 00:51:13,905
Strictly small time.
Never amounted to much.

801
00:51:18,243 --> 00:51:20,245
Well, at least he wasn't a liar.

802
00:51:21,621 --> 00:51:23,498
We heard that tape!

803
00:51:23,665 --> 00:51:25,959
- What'd you hear?
- You kick Checkers!

804
00:51:26,209 --> 00:51:29,337
And you're prejudiced,
and you have a potty mouth!

805
00:51:29,504 --> 00:51:31,798
You're a bad man!

806
00:51:31,965 --> 00:51:34,551
You stinking little idiots,
get out of here!

807
00:51:34,801 --> 00:51:37,011
And don't ever come back here again!

808
00:51:39,139 --> 00:51:41,433
You don't mess with the big boys!

809
00:51:44,602 --> 00:51:45,812
Betsy. Arlene.

810
00:51:45,979 --> 00:51:47,021
Wait!

811
00:51:48,898 --> 00:51:51,359
I would like to apologize
for his actions.

812
00:51:51,526 --> 00:51:53,528
He's been under
a lot of stress lately.

813
00:51:53,695 --> 00:51:57,198
It's too late. We're not friends
with him anymore, period!

814
00:51:57,490 --> 00:52:00,577
And if you stay,
you're just as bad as he is.

815
00:52:06,249 --> 00:52:08,251
Oh.

816
00:52:12,255 --> 00:52:13,882
Arlene!

817
00:52:14,132 --> 00:52:15,842
Arlene!

818
00:52:18,344 --> 00:52:19,387
Wait!

819
00:52:20,430 --> 00:52:21,973
It's gonna be okay.

820
00:52:22,557 --> 00:52:24,142
I hate Dick!

821
00:52:26,561 --> 00:52:28,980
It was stupid of me
to fall in love with Dick.

822
00:52:29,230 --> 00:52:30,690
What was I thinking?

823
00:52:31,483 --> 00:52:33,943
Dick just disgusts me now.

824
00:52:34,944 --> 00:52:36,571
You know, Arlene...

825
00:52:37,822 --> 00:52:40,492
...Dick meant a lot to me too.
But I've been thinking...

826
00:52:41,826 --> 00:52:43,703
...you can't let Dick run your life!

827
00:52:48,416 --> 00:52:49,959
Do you mind?

828
00:52:50,585 --> 00:52:53,338
We're having a personal conversation.

829
00:52:55,256 --> 00:52:56,549
<i>♪ Mr. Big Stuff ♪</i>

830
00:52:58,134 --> 00:52:59,928
<i>♪ Who do you think you are? ♪</i>

831
00:53:00,094 --> 00:53:01,554
<i>♪ Mr. Big Stuff ♪</i>

832
00:53:03,097 --> 00:53:05,099
<i>♪ You're never gonna get my love ♪</i>

833
00:53:05,975 --> 00:53:07,811
<i>♪ Now because you wear ♪</i>

834
00:53:08,394 --> 00:53:10,772
<i>- ♪ All those fancy clothes ♪
- ♪ Oh, oh, yeah ♪</i>

835
00:53:11,105 --> 00:53:12,774
<i>♪ And have a big fine car ♪</i>

836
00:53:12,941 --> 00:53:14,859
<i>♪ Oh, oh, oh
Yes, you do now ♪</i>

837
00:53:15,443 --> 00:53:17,529
<i>♪ Do you think I can afford ♪</i>

838
00:53:18,071 --> 00:53:21,032
<i>- ♪ To give you my love? ♪
- ♪ Oh, oh, yeah ♪</i>

839
00:53:21,199 --> 00:53:24,828
<i>♪ You think you're higher
Than every star above ♪</i>

840
00:53:25,620 --> 00:53:27,038
<i>♪ Mr. Big Stuff ♪</i>

841
00:53:28,623 --> 00:53:30,583
<i>♪ Who do you think you are? ♪</i>

842
00:53:30,792 --> 00:53:32,252
<i>♪ Mr. Big Stuff ♪♪</i>

843
00:53:38,508 --> 00:53:39,592
What happened?

844
00:53:39,759 --> 00:53:43,012
Larry wasn't at Jake's house.
Larry was at a porno movie.

845
00:53:43,179 --> 00:53:44,222
Ooh....

846
00:53:44,806 --> 00:53:47,183
- Hi, Daddy!
- Hi.

847
00:53:48,184 --> 00:53:49,561
Hi, girls.

848
00:53:49,727 --> 00:53:52,355
Would you mind
going upstairs for just a minute?

849
00:53:55,650 --> 00:53:58,444
I don't understand
the title of that porno movie.

850
00:54:03,867 --> 00:54:05,493
"Deep throat" means...

851
00:54:05,660 --> 00:54:09,289
...when the woman puts
the man's penis in her mouth....

852
00:54:16,296 --> 00:54:19,048
<i>♪ I remember
When rock was young ♪</i>

853
00:54:19,299 --> 00:54:22,135
<i>♪ Me and Suzie
Had so much fun ♪</i>

854
00:54:22,510 --> 00:54:24,512
<i>♪ Holding hands
And skimming stones ♪</i>

855
00:54:28,933 --> 00:54:31,185
<i>♪ But the biggest kick I ever got ♪</i>

856
00:54:31,352 --> 00:54:33,730
<i>♪ Was doing a thing
Called the Crocodile Rock ♪♪</i>

857
00:54:37,483 --> 00:54:39,027
Okay, what now?

858
00:54:41,446 --> 00:54:42,906
Prank phone calls?

859
00:54:44,115 --> 00:54:45,491
Okay, who?

860
00:54:47,535 --> 00:54:48,745
Miss Spinnler?

861
00:54:49,412 --> 00:54:50,997
No.

862
00:54:52,832 --> 00:54:54,334
Sean Freshman?

863
00:54:55,418 --> 00:54:59,005
- No, we always do him.
- Um....

864
00:55:01,716 --> 00:55:04,385
I know, I know! These guys!

865
00:55:05,762 --> 00:55:07,931
The "radical, muckraking bastards."

866
00:55:09,724 --> 00:55:12,894
These are the guys that are writing
all that stuff about Watergate.

867
00:55:13,061 --> 00:55:14,562
Oh.

868
00:55:15,188 --> 00:55:19,025
- Oh, and this one's kind of hunky.
- Gross.

869
00:55:19,984 --> 00:55:22,195
Well, you liked Dick.

870
00:55:28,034 --> 00:55:30,203
<i>- Washington Post.
- Hello.</i>

871
00:55:30,370 --> 00:55:32,455
I'm the daughter
of the British ambassador...

872
00:55:32,622 --> 00:55:36,960
...and I have some very important
information concerning Watergate...

873
00:55:37,210 --> 00:55:38,628
...for your newspaper.

874
00:55:39,212 --> 00:55:40,713
One moment.

875
00:55:41,255 --> 00:55:43,633
- I'm on hold!
- Okay.

876
00:55:47,720 --> 00:55:48,721
Woodward.

877
00:55:49,472 --> 00:55:50,598
I can't. I can't.

878
00:55:51,015 --> 00:55:52,058
Hello?

879
00:55:53,017 --> 00:55:55,311
Hello? Hello.

880
00:55:55,478 --> 00:55:56,771
Who's this?

881
00:55:57,063 --> 00:55:59,983
I just told you. Bob Woodward.

882
00:56:00,733 --> 00:56:02,568
Oh. Um, good.

883
00:56:02,944 --> 00:56:04,612
We, um, know things.

884
00:56:04,779 --> 00:56:06,614
What kind of things?

885
00:56:08,032 --> 00:56:09,283
About Dick.

886
00:56:10,159 --> 00:56:11,619
I mean, the president.

887
00:56:12,996 --> 00:56:14,205
On the record?

888
00:56:15,415 --> 00:56:16,457
Huh?

889
00:56:16,624 --> 00:56:17,875
Can I use your name?

890
00:56:18,376 --> 00:56:20,878
Heh. They don't get that it's a joke!

891
00:56:21,129 --> 00:56:23,297
- That just makes it funnier.
- Okay.

892
00:56:23,464 --> 00:56:26,426
Unless you go on the record
or have documentation....

893
00:56:29,220 --> 00:56:32,015
I have deadlines.
This is the <i>Washington Post.</i>

894
00:56:32,181 --> 00:56:34,475
A documentation.
Like a piece of paper.

895
00:56:34,642 --> 00:56:35,977
Yeah. Yeah.

896
00:56:36,144 --> 00:56:37,812
We have a piece of paper.

897
00:56:37,979 --> 00:56:42,233
Hold on. We have a list of creeps.
We got it at the White House.

898
00:56:43,818 --> 00:56:45,361
A list of creeps?

899
00:56:45,528 --> 00:56:47,864
Uh-huh. C-R-E-E-P.

900
00:56:50,408 --> 00:56:52,326
The Committee to Re-elect
the President.

901
00:56:52,493 --> 00:56:57,165
It's to Haldeman. It has a list of names,
amounts of money and dates.

902
00:56:58,791 --> 00:57:00,626
Go ahead. What do you have?

903
00:57:02,503 --> 00:57:05,506
It's Magruder, Barker, Brown....

904
00:57:05,673 --> 00:57:06,674
Uh-huh.

905
00:57:08,009 --> 00:57:09,719
Right.

906
00:57:10,803 --> 00:57:12,138
Yeah.

907
00:57:12,472 --> 00:57:14,974
Okay. Okay, can--?

908
00:57:16,309 --> 00:57:17,351
Yeah.

909
00:57:19,854 --> 00:57:21,064
Can I help you?

910
00:57:21,856 --> 00:57:23,858
- I'm cool.
- I'm sorry, go ahead.

911
00:57:26,903 --> 00:57:28,780
Right. Uh-huh.

912
00:57:32,450 --> 00:57:33,868
Go away!

913
00:57:34,744 --> 00:57:35,745
Right.

914
00:57:35,912 --> 00:57:38,623
You actually have this document
in your possession?

915
00:57:38,790 --> 00:57:40,750
Yeah, it's sitting right here.

916
00:57:41,459 --> 00:57:43,461
But the only problem is that...

917
00:57:43,711 --> 00:57:48,424
...we drew all over it and I dropped
my grilled cheese sandwich on it...

918
00:57:48,591 --> 00:57:50,259
...so it's kind of rank.

919
00:57:50,510 --> 00:57:53,012
Benji, stop it. Get off!

920
00:57:54,263 --> 00:57:57,225
Are you insane?
Or are your pants too tight?

921
00:57:57,683 --> 00:57:59,018
Who are you talking to?

922
00:57:59,185 --> 00:58:02,814
A source with proof that the Committee
to Re-elect the President...

923
00:58:02,980 --> 00:58:04,607
...paid off the Water--

924
00:58:05,066 --> 00:58:07,360
Paid off the Watergate burglars.

925
00:58:07,610 --> 00:58:09,487
And the White House knows about it.

926
00:58:14,367 --> 00:58:16,828
You can't have
that conversation on the phone.

927
00:58:16,994 --> 00:58:18,704
It's too dangerous.

928
00:58:18,913 --> 00:58:21,290
- Arrange a meeting.
- Okay.

929
00:58:21,457 --> 00:58:22,917
Ow! That really hurt me.

930
00:58:23,126 --> 00:58:24,919
That really hurt me.

931
00:58:26,587 --> 00:58:27,713
Could I meet you?

932
00:58:27,880 --> 00:58:30,258
We've been too permissive
with you, young man.

933
00:58:30,758 --> 00:58:33,427
From now on,
we're watching you like a hawk.

934
00:58:34,095 --> 00:58:35,680
Not around here.

935
00:58:35,847 --> 00:58:38,933
Right, you're being watched.
I understand. Um....

936
00:58:39,934 --> 00:58:42,937
There is an underground
parking garage...

937
00:58:44,438 --> 00:58:47,775
...on A Street and York Avenue.

938
00:58:48,025 --> 00:58:49,402
Across from Garfinkle's.

939
00:58:49,569 --> 00:58:51,904
We can go shopping
after we meet them.

940
00:58:52,071 --> 00:58:56,367
Yes. I can meet you there
tomorrow at 9 p.m.

941
00:58:57,118 --> 00:58:58,369
Okay.

942
00:58:59,245 --> 00:59:00,288
How will I know you?

943
00:59:01,205 --> 00:59:03,666
That's for me to know
and you to find out.

944
00:59:07,962 --> 00:59:09,380
What are you staring at?

945
00:59:09,547 --> 00:59:11,507
There's yelling. Are you in trouble?

946
00:59:14,260 --> 00:59:17,513
Give me a name, so when you call next,
I'll know it's you.

947
00:59:21,017 --> 00:59:22,852
Deep Throat! Aah!

948
00:59:23,060 --> 00:59:24,103
<i>Deep Throat!</i>

949
00:59:25,438 --> 00:59:27,899
Carl Bernstein. Tell me your story.

950
00:59:28,065 --> 00:59:29,358
Up yours, man!

951
00:59:31,152 --> 00:59:33,988
Deep Throat! Come here,
Deep Throat boy! Come here!

952
00:59:34,155 --> 00:59:36,699
- Deep Throat!
- Deep Throat! Deep Throat!

953
00:59:37,366 --> 00:59:38,659
They hung up.

954
00:59:38,993 --> 00:59:40,661
- What are you doing?
- It's cool.

955
00:59:40,912 --> 00:59:42,580
- What are you doing?
- Helping you out.

956
00:59:43,456 --> 00:59:44,957
I swear to God...!

957
00:59:45,124 --> 00:59:48,836
- Deep Throat boy!
- Deep Throat! Deep Throat!

958
00:59:49,003 --> 00:59:52,298
- You're horny! Horny little pervert!
- Pervert!

959
01:00:01,807 --> 01:00:04,268
- All right, he's not here. Let's go.
- Okay.

960
01:00:10,441 --> 01:00:12,276
You're Deep Throat?

961
01:00:12,443 --> 01:00:13,861
Yeah.

962
01:00:14,028 --> 01:00:15,488
We both are.

963
01:00:15,655 --> 01:00:17,031
How old are you?

964
01:00:18,032 --> 01:00:19,200
Twenty-three.

965
01:00:19,367 --> 01:00:20,993
Is that your combined ages?

966
01:00:22,328 --> 01:00:24,205
There's no need to be snotty.

967
01:00:24,372 --> 01:00:27,541
I'm just trying to imagine here,
what exactly...

968
01:00:27,833 --> 01:00:30,378
...is your connection
with the White House?

969
01:00:30,544 --> 01:00:32,922
We were the Secret Youth Advisers.

970
01:00:33,089 --> 01:00:36,592
And we walked the dog.
And Arlene was in love with Dick.

971
01:00:36,759 --> 01:00:39,887
Okay, I don't need to hear
any more of that, really.

972
01:00:42,014 --> 01:00:43,057
Were you followed?

973
01:00:49,981 --> 01:00:52,108
What are you doing here?

974
01:00:52,358 --> 01:00:54,110
I came to make sure
you were all right.

975
01:00:54,318 --> 01:00:55,945
You did not!

976
01:00:56,112 --> 01:00:57,989
You're trying to horn in on my source.

977
01:00:58,155 --> 01:01:01,325
How come you get to meet Deep Throat?
I'm the one who saw that movie.

978
01:01:03,119 --> 01:01:04,620
Hi, I'm Carl Bernstein.

979
01:01:04,787 --> 01:01:06,455
You're supposed to check phone records.

980
01:01:06,622 --> 01:01:07,957
It gave me a headache.

981
01:01:08,124 --> 01:01:09,959
- Stop whining.
- I'm not whining.

982
01:01:10,126 --> 01:01:12,003
Yes, you are. You're whining.

983
01:01:12,169 --> 01:01:14,046
- We've talked about this.
- Hey.

984
01:01:14,505 --> 01:01:16,299
Are you interested in the story or not?

985
01:01:16,966 --> 01:01:18,968
- Yes.
- Yes.

986
01:01:24,015 --> 01:01:26,642
At first, we thought he was really nice.

987
01:01:26,934 --> 01:01:31,355
Then we heard him saying mean things
about Jews and using foul language.

988
01:01:31,605 --> 01:01:33,149
We realized he was a jerk.

989
01:01:33,316 --> 01:01:34,734
A jerk.

990
01:01:34,984 --> 01:01:37,361
We could hear him kicking the dog
on the tape.

991
01:01:37,528 --> 01:01:38,612
There's a tape?

992
01:01:38,779 --> 01:01:41,615
He records everything. It's in
Rose Mary's desk. He's paranoid.

993
01:01:41,782 --> 01:01:43,492
What else did he say on this tape?

994
01:01:43,659 --> 01:01:45,161
They talked about hiding...

995
01:01:45,578 --> 01:01:48,998
...some guy in South America
because he knew about Watergate.

996
01:01:49,165 --> 01:01:53,169
Uh, let me get this straight. You're saying
the president of the United States--

997
01:01:53,419 --> 01:01:55,504
- Of America.
- Of America...

998
01:01:55,755 --> 01:01:59,342
...the most powerful country
in the world...

999
01:02:00,217 --> 01:02:02,720
...is involved
in this Watergate cover-up?

1000
01:02:02,887 --> 01:02:04,055
- Yeah.
- I guess.

1001
01:02:04,221 --> 01:02:06,390
Who is he talking to on this tape?

1002
01:02:06,557 --> 01:02:09,518
- Um, Erlichman?
- No.

1003
01:02:09,727 --> 01:02:11,479
- Hurlichman.
- Oh, yeah.

1004
01:02:11,645 --> 01:02:14,148
- No, there isn't a Hurlichman.
- Yes, there is.

1005
01:02:14,315 --> 01:02:15,816
There's not a Hurlichman.

1006
01:02:16,192 --> 01:02:18,986
There's a Haldeman.
And there's an Erlichman.

1007
01:02:19,320 --> 01:02:20,363
Wait, wait, wait.

1008
01:02:20,613 --> 01:02:22,823
The guy who's, like, kind of fleshy...

1009
01:02:23,074 --> 01:02:26,369
...who wears horn-rimmed glasses
and a cheesy dark suit.

1010
01:02:26,535 --> 01:02:27,620
It sounded like him.

1011
01:02:29,330 --> 01:02:30,956
Show me which one.

1012
01:02:34,293 --> 01:02:36,921
I never realized how much
they all look alike.

1013
01:02:39,340 --> 01:02:43,219
The document you mentioned on
the phone, it was written to Haldeman?

1014
01:02:43,469 --> 01:02:46,222
If we publish that, we could nail him.

1015
01:02:46,430 --> 01:02:48,432
Give me skin, Daddy.

1016
01:02:50,351 --> 01:02:51,477
No.

1017
01:02:51,644 --> 01:02:54,897
- We don't really have it right now.
- What?

1018
01:02:56,107 --> 01:02:57,733
The dog ate it.

1019
01:02:58,067 --> 01:02:59,360
The dog ate it.

1020
01:03:00,194 --> 01:03:01,862
- Yeah.
- Yeah.

1021
01:03:02,238 --> 01:03:05,866
Great. You know, I don't need this.
I went to Yale.

1022
01:03:06,033 --> 01:03:08,369
- Ow.
- Sorry.

1023
01:03:08,536 --> 01:03:12,039
Hey. We could've gotten grounded
for sneaking out.

1024
01:03:12,248 --> 01:03:14,083
If we could get that tape....

1025
01:03:14,250 --> 01:03:16,043
But it's in the White House.

1026
01:03:16,210 --> 01:03:20,339
<i>You know who else is
sexy is Robert Plant, from Led Zeppelin.</i>

1027
01:03:20,840 --> 01:03:24,343
- Ew. He reminds me of my brother.
- Oh.

1028
01:03:28,806 --> 01:03:31,892
<i>Your brother's not that bad.
Not that I like him.</i>

1029
01:03:32,268 --> 01:03:34,812
I can't run this. You don't have it.

1030
01:03:35,062 --> 01:03:36,230
What?

1031
01:03:37,231 --> 01:03:40,985
I might be willing to take the risk
on these other names...

1032
01:03:41,152 --> 01:03:42,903
...but not on Haldeman. My God!

1033
01:03:43,154 --> 01:03:47,283
He's the man who controls access
to the leader of the free world.

1034
01:03:47,700 --> 01:03:49,326
There is another source.

1035
01:03:49,493 --> 01:03:53,122
You mean, your what-do-you-call-it?

1036
01:03:53,289 --> 01:03:55,916
- Hand Job.
- Deep Throat.

1037
01:03:56,083 --> 01:03:59,795
Yeah, Deep Throat.
Well, tell me about Deep Throat.

1038
01:04:00,171 --> 01:04:03,716
Well, "he" links the president...

1039
01:04:03,883 --> 01:04:04,884
...to the burglary...

1040
01:04:05,050 --> 01:04:06,844
...and to a cover-up.

1041
01:04:07,011 --> 01:04:08,262
Jesus!

1042
01:04:08,971 --> 01:04:10,514
What branch is he in?

1043
01:04:11,140 --> 01:04:13,476
E-- E-- Executive.

1044
01:04:13,642 --> 01:04:14,935
How high?

1045
01:04:15,102 --> 01:04:16,270
About yea high.

1046
01:04:17,313 --> 01:04:18,981
Don't do this to me.

1047
01:04:19,148 --> 01:04:21,942
Get some more sources
on those names.

1048
01:04:22,318 --> 01:04:25,863
Bring me in some hard evidence
and nail it down.

1049
01:04:26,572 --> 01:04:29,658
Some people think
that Mick Jagger's lips are gross.

1050
01:04:29,909 --> 01:04:31,702
But I think that they're sexy.

1051
01:04:31,952 --> 01:04:34,872
They're like this big couch
made out of skin.

1052
01:04:35,122 --> 01:04:37,625
- You're so hard rock now.
- No.

1053
01:04:37,791 --> 01:04:40,294
- Yes.
- No.

1054
01:04:41,170 --> 01:04:42,171
What?

1055
01:04:42,338 --> 01:04:46,091
That van's been right behind us
since we left school. Don't look.

1056
01:04:46,342 --> 01:04:47,468
I have to.

1057
01:04:55,017 --> 01:04:56,602
- We're being followed.
- By who?

1058
01:04:56,894 --> 01:04:58,771
I don't know. Do you think it's Dick?

1059
01:04:58,979 --> 01:05:02,483
Maybe he knows we talked to
the "radical, muckraking bastards."

1060
01:05:02,733 --> 01:05:04,276
He couldn't know.

1061
01:05:04,443 --> 01:05:05,903
He could.

1062
01:05:08,364 --> 01:05:10,282
Dick frightens me.

1063
01:05:11,367 --> 01:05:12,952
Hello, this is Bob Woodward.

1064
01:05:13,118 --> 01:05:14,995
And Carl Bernstein, <i>Washington Post.</i>

1065
01:05:15,162 --> 01:05:19,291
Carl's on the other line. We have
a few questions we'd like to ask you.

1066
01:05:19,458 --> 01:05:21,210
Oh, girls! Arlene, Betsy!

1067
01:05:21,377 --> 01:05:22,670
We can't talk now.

1068
01:05:22,836 --> 01:05:27,299
We need to know some names from
that list you had. Do you remember any?

1069
01:05:27,466 --> 01:05:29,718
We're under a lot of pressure too.

1070
01:05:29,927 --> 01:05:32,596
<i>It's okay.
You don't have to name any names.</i>

1071
01:05:32,763 --> 01:05:34,348
- Don't answer.
- We'll say names.

1072
01:05:34,515 --> 01:05:38,060
We'll count to 10. If you don't
hang up, that's a confirmation.

1073
01:05:38,561 --> 01:05:39,645
What?

1074
01:05:40,563 --> 01:05:41,605
Hi.

1075
01:05:41,772 --> 01:05:43,774
I'm so sorry to interrupt you.

1076
01:05:43,941 --> 01:05:45,859
- Go!
- Just go with it!

1077
01:05:46,277 --> 01:05:47,319
Okay.

1078
01:05:48,112 --> 01:05:50,656
I asked you to come to dinner
15 minutes ago.

1079
01:05:50,823 --> 01:05:52,533
Now your TV dinners are ice-cold.

1080
01:05:52,700 --> 01:05:54,702
In fact, they're frozen again.

1081
01:05:54,868 --> 01:05:56,412
McCord.

1082
01:05:59,123 --> 01:06:00,124
Lang.

1083
01:06:00,291 --> 01:06:04,128
So come to the table now,
or I'll never fix you dinner again, ever!

1084
01:06:04,295 --> 01:06:05,296
Seven...

1085
01:06:05,462 --> 01:06:06,463
...eight...

1086
01:06:06,630 --> 01:06:07,631
...nine...

1087
01:06:07,965 --> 01:06:09,383
We'll be right there, Mom.

1088
01:06:11,468 --> 01:06:12,469
...ten.

1089
01:06:12,803 --> 01:06:13,804
Thank you very much.

1090
01:06:17,474 --> 01:06:19,393
- Whoo!
- Yes! Yes!

1091
01:06:21,270 --> 01:06:22,730
They hung up.

1092
01:06:25,065 --> 01:06:26,567
I'm sorry, Janet.

1093
01:06:26,817 --> 01:06:27,985
- You all right?
- Yeah.

1094
01:06:28,902 --> 01:06:32,031
<i>♪ Hey, kid, rock 'n' roll ♪</i>

1095
01:06:32,197 --> 01:06:35,159
<i>♪ Rock on
Ooh, my soul ♪</i>

1096
01:06:35,326 --> 01:06:38,412
<i>♪ Hey, kid, boogie too ♪</i>

1097
01:06:38,579 --> 01:06:40,289
<i>♪ Did ya? ♪</i>

1098
01:06:41,832 --> 01:06:43,542
<i>♪ Hey, shout ♪</i>

1099
01:06:45,085 --> 01:06:48,172
<i>♪ Jump up and down
In the blue suede shoes ♪</i>

1100
01:06:48,339 --> 01:06:49,381
<i>♪ Hey ♪♪</i>

1101
01:06:53,469 --> 01:06:55,471
You scared us to death!
What's the matter?

1102
01:06:55,679 --> 01:06:58,515
You little lying sacks of shit
are the matter!

1103
01:06:58,891 --> 01:06:59,933
Listen.

1104
01:07:04,480 --> 01:07:08,317
You guys gave us bad information
on the phone.

1105
01:07:09,026 --> 01:07:10,819
The names on the list?

1106
01:07:11,487 --> 01:07:14,615
We printed it, they denied it,
and our other source backed out.

1107
01:07:14,823 --> 01:07:17,534
Now everybody thinks
that I'm a schmuck.

1108
01:07:18,786 --> 01:07:19,953
What names?

1109
01:07:20,204 --> 01:07:22,039
The names. The information.

1110
01:07:22,331 --> 01:07:24,291
Listen, people are counting on you.

1111
01:07:24,458 --> 01:07:28,754
You're big-shot reporters. Can't you
figure anything out for yourselves?

1112
01:07:28,921 --> 01:07:31,507
How could you let your dog
eat that list?

1113
01:07:31,715 --> 01:07:33,342
You're ruining my life!

1114
01:07:36,053 --> 01:07:40,057
We have a very important report
on turquoise jewelry due in two days...

1115
01:07:40,307 --> 01:07:43,394
...and we can't find books on it,
and the president is having us followed.

1116
01:07:43,560 --> 01:07:47,022
- It's too much pressure.
- Just leave us alone!

1117
01:08:00,744 --> 01:08:02,329
Arlene?

1118
01:08:02,496 --> 01:08:04,039
Mom?

1119
01:08:04,415 --> 01:08:05,624
I'm in here, dear.

1120
01:08:06,041 --> 01:08:08,252
- How come you're home so early?
- Oh....

1121
01:08:08,419 --> 01:08:09,545
Honey...

1122
01:08:10,546 --> 01:08:12,172
...I've met someone.

1123
01:08:12,631 --> 01:08:14,425
I've met someone.

1124
01:08:14,591 --> 01:08:15,759
Here he is.

1125
01:08:17,344 --> 01:08:18,762
Hello, Arlene.

1126
01:08:21,557 --> 01:08:22,975
How did you know my name?

1127
01:08:25,561 --> 01:08:27,271
It's embroidered on your blouse.

1128
01:08:27,438 --> 01:08:28,814
Oh! Ha, ha.

1129
01:08:38,824 --> 01:08:40,284
Mm. Mmm....

1130
01:08:42,369 --> 01:08:44,455
It's really so funny how we met.

1131
01:08:44,621 --> 01:08:49,501
I was in the market at lunch and we
literally just crashed into each other.

1132
01:08:49,668 --> 01:08:54,465
I said, "Excuse me, your peanut butter
is in my chocolate."

1133
01:08:56,508 --> 01:09:01,889
And I said, "Your chocolate
is in my peanut butter." Ha-ha-ha!

1134
01:09:02,055 --> 01:09:03,265
Oh, my gosh.

1135
01:09:03,432 --> 01:09:05,476
We haven't been separated
since then.

1136
01:09:05,642 --> 01:09:09,313
Well, until I used the bathroom
just now. Ooh!

1137
01:09:11,774 --> 01:09:14,568
Roderick, you're such a treasure.

1138
01:09:20,407 --> 01:09:21,450
Honey.

1139
01:09:21,617 --> 01:09:24,286
- Honey, did you leave the door open?
- No.

1140
01:09:24,453 --> 01:09:25,954
No.

1141
01:09:34,296 --> 01:09:35,672
We've been robbed.

1142
01:09:39,301 --> 01:09:41,512
My grandmother's pearls!

1143
01:09:42,429 --> 01:09:43,889
My stash!

1144
01:09:48,811 --> 01:09:51,271
Are you absolutely positive
nothing is missing?

1145
01:09:51,438 --> 01:09:52,940
Yes.

1146
01:09:53,482 --> 01:09:55,442
I don't understand it at all.

1147
01:09:55,651 --> 01:10:00,155
My jewelry case wasn't touched,
but they ripped apart the sofa cushions.

1148
01:10:00,447 --> 01:10:01,657
I need a drink.

1149
01:10:01,907 --> 01:10:05,077
Maybe they just didn't like
my wife's taste in decorating.

1150
01:10:07,788 --> 01:10:11,041
If I didn't know better, I'd say
someone was looking for something.

1151
01:10:11,291 --> 01:10:14,670
- I can't imagine what.
- We're just a normal family.

1152
01:10:14,962 --> 01:10:17,047
Okay, I wouldn't go that far.

1153
01:10:24,137 --> 01:10:26,515
They only stole
the Hello Dollies recipe.

1154
01:10:26,682 --> 01:10:29,852
Not jewelry or the TV
or Larry's pot or anything.

1155
01:10:30,018 --> 01:10:31,603
It's too much of a coincidence.

1156
01:10:31,770 --> 01:10:35,274
Your house gets robbed, and my mom
gets a boyfriend the same night?

1157
01:10:35,691 --> 01:10:37,109
Why don't you like him?

1158
01:10:37,276 --> 01:10:41,363
Because I think he's a spy for Dick.
No guy like that would go for my mom.

1159
01:10:43,866 --> 01:10:45,409
Hello? I--

1160
01:10:46,034 --> 01:10:47,077
Betsy?

1161
01:10:49,997 --> 01:10:50,998
Hello?

1162
01:11:29,745 --> 01:11:32,456
I'll buzz you up
so that my mom doesn't hear.

1163
01:11:33,373 --> 01:11:36,126
Okay.

1164
01:11:38,754 --> 01:11:40,005
Betsy, what are you doing?

1165
01:11:40,172 --> 01:11:41,590
<i>♪ Come on, baby ♪</i>

1166
01:11:41,757 --> 01:11:43,759
- We're being bugged!
- What?

1167
01:11:44,217 --> 01:11:47,471
The president of the United States
is bugging our houses...

1168
01:11:47,638 --> 01:11:49,514
...and spying on us!

1169
01:11:50,766 --> 01:11:51,892
What did you just say?

1170
01:11:52,059 --> 01:11:55,687
<i>♪ My little baby says
I can do it with ease ♪♪</i>

1171
01:11:56,396 --> 01:11:58,231
It's a line from a song. It's:

1172
01:11:58,565 --> 01:12:00,567
- ♪ We're being bugged ♪
- ♪ We're being bugged ♪

1173
01:12:00,943 --> 01:12:03,445
- ♪ The White House ♪
- ♪ Bugged ♪♪

1174
01:12:04,488 --> 01:12:08,158
There's a man from the <i>Washington Post</i>
on the phone for you.

1175
01:12:13,580 --> 01:12:15,874
- Hello?
<i>- It's Bernstein from the</i> Post.

1176
01:12:16,041 --> 01:12:17,960
- No. No.
<i>- The information you gave--</i>

1177
01:12:18,210 --> 01:12:21,463
Um, no.
We're not interested in a subscription.

1178
01:12:21,630 --> 01:12:22,673
Thanks, no.

1179
01:12:23,006 --> 01:12:25,801
No, we prefer the news on TV.
Thank you.

1180
01:12:27,135 --> 01:12:29,471
I thought we already got the <i>Post.</i>

1181
01:12:30,764 --> 01:12:34,017
You know, there is something
very strange going on here.

1182
01:12:34,184 --> 01:12:35,227
I know there is.

1183
01:12:35,852 --> 01:12:38,522
And I don't want to know
what it is. Okay?

1184
01:12:41,817 --> 01:12:44,778
<i>And in all my years
of public life, I can say...</i>

1185
01:12:44,945 --> 01:12:48,824
<i>...that I have
never, ever obstructed justice.</i>

1186
01:12:49,282 --> 01:12:50,993
This is all his fault.

1187
01:12:51,785 --> 01:12:54,830
<i>The people have got to know...</i>

1188
01:12:55,247 --> 01:12:58,000
<i>...whether or not
their president is a crook.</i>

1189
01:12:59,042 --> 01:13:00,627
<i>Well...</i>

1190
01:13:00,836 --> 01:13:01,837
<i>...I'm not a crook.</i>

1191
01:13:02,004 --> 01:13:04,256
He's trying to drive me insane.

1192
01:13:08,510 --> 01:13:09,553
Hello?

1193
01:13:10,887 --> 01:13:12,431
Hello?

1194
01:13:15,767 --> 01:13:16,768
Oh, my God!

1195
01:13:16,935 --> 01:13:18,687
We have to get out of here!

1196
01:13:22,733 --> 01:13:24,693
- Oh, my God!
- It's okay.

1197
01:13:35,871 --> 01:13:36,872
Go!

1198
01:13:47,632 --> 01:13:49,134
Oh, my God!

1199
01:14:04,900 --> 01:14:08,487
So these girls are a threat
to national security?

1200
01:14:09,279 --> 01:14:11,323
According to the president.

1201
01:14:12,908 --> 01:14:16,536
How dare those people keep treating us
like stupid teenage girls!

1202
01:14:16,912 --> 01:14:19,331
We are stupid teenage girls.

1203
01:14:19,498 --> 01:14:22,000
No, Betsy, we're human beings.

1204
01:14:22,292 --> 01:14:24,544
And we're American citizens.

1205
01:14:24,920 --> 01:14:28,548
And fourscore and seven years ago,
our forefathers...

1206
01:14:29,091 --> 01:14:30,926
...did something.
I don't know what.

1207
01:14:31,259 --> 01:14:34,596
But I do know one thing:
Dick's ass is grass.

1208
01:14:34,846 --> 01:14:37,432
Where are we going?
What are we doing?

1209
01:14:37,599 --> 01:14:40,477
If Haldeman has the tapes
that Woodward and Bernstein want...

1210
01:14:40,727 --> 01:14:42,813
- ...we're gonna find them.
- Okay.

1211
01:14:43,730 --> 01:14:45,774
This is it.
This is Haldeman's house.

1212
01:14:45,941 --> 01:14:47,150
2170.

1213
01:14:52,948 --> 01:14:54,658
Look, there's somebody there.

1214
01:14:57,828 --> 01:14:59,579
Haldeman must have a son.

1215
01:14:59,830 --> 01:15:01,540
Wait, let me see.

1216
01:15:02,457 --> 01:15:04,084
- Ahh....
- We have a mission.

1217
01:15:04,251 --> 01:15:07,754
We have to figure out a way
to get inside and find those tapes.

1218
01:15:09,589 --> 01:15:11,424
Don't worry, Arlene.

1219
01:15:11,925 --> 01:15:13,218
I'll do it.

1220
01:15:20,267 --> 01:15:22,060
Oh, hi.

1221
01:15:22,519 --> 01:15:24,146
<i>- ♪ Hey ♪
- ♪ Hey ♪</i>

1222
01:15:24,312 --> 01:15:25,480
Do you remember me?

1223
01:15:27,107 --> 01:15:29,818
- Betsy.
- Betsy, right.

1224
01:15:30,068 --> 01:15:31,611
From the Homecoming dance.

1225
01:15:32,154 --> 01:15:33,155
Right.

1226
01:15:34,281 --> 01:15:37,325
<i>♪ What's the matter
With your head, baby? ♪</i>

1227
01:15:37,492 --> 01:15:40,704
<i>♪ Find it
Come on and find it ♪</i>

1228
01:15:40,871 --> 01:15:45,125
<i>♪ Help with it, baby ♪</i>

1229
01:15:45,709 --> 01:15:46,751
You wanna make out?

1230
01:15:46,918 --> 01:15:48,003
Sure.

1231
01:15:50,505 --> 01:15:53,175
<i>♪ Come and get your love ♪</i>

1232
01:15:55,093 --> 01:15:57,888
<i>♪ Come and get your love ♪</i>

1233
01:15:59,598 --> 01:16:02,309
<i>♪ Come and get your love ♪</i>

1234
01:16:04,102 --> 01:16:06,605
<i>♪ Come and get your love ♪</i>

1235
01:16:10,400 --> 01:16:12,611
<i>- ♪ Hey ♪
- ♪ Hey ♪</i>

1236
01:16:12,903 --> 01:16:15,780
<i>♪ What's the matter with you?
Feel right? ♪</i>

1237
01:16:15,947 --> 01:16:17,324
Are you all right?

1238
01:16:17,490 --> 01:16:19,034
I'm fine.

1239
01:16:20,368 --> 01:16:22,579
I need to go to the bathroom.
Will you excuse me?

1240
01:16:22,746 --> 01:16:27,000
<i>♪ Get it from the mainline, all right ♪</i>

1241
01:16:27,667 --> 01:16:30,795
<i>♪ I said find it, find it ♪</i>

1242
01:16:31,087 --> 01:16:34,299
<i>♪ Go on and love it if you like it ♪</i>

1243
01:16:34,507 --> 01:16:35,842
<i>♪ Yeah, yeah ♪</i>

1244
01:16:36,009 --> 01:16:37,302
Okay.

1245
01:16:37,761 --> 01:16:39,971
<i>- ♪ Hey ♪
- ♪ Hey ♪</i>

1246
01:16:40,138 --> 01:16:43,350
<i>♪ It's your business
If you want some ♪</i>

1247
01:16:45,268 --> 01:16:46,269
Arlene.

1248
01:16:47,854 --> 01:16:49,981
<i>♪ Come and get your love ♪</i>

1249
01:16:52,025 --> 01:16:54,569
<i>♪ Come and get your love ♪</i>

1250
01:16:56,238 --> 01:16:58,240
<i>♪ Come and get your love ♪</i>

1251
01:17:00,742 --> 01:17:03,286
<i>♪ Come and get your love ♪</i>

1252
01:17:25,558 --> 01:17:28,395
<i>♪ Come and get your love ♪</i>

1253
01:17:30,230 --> 01:17:32,732
<i>♪ Come and get your love ♪</i>

1254
01:17:32,899 --> 01:17:34,818
What's going on here?

1255
01:17:35,568 --> 01:17:36,945
Beer bong?

1256
01:17:38,321 --> 01:17:40,740
I'm tripping heavily already.

1257
01:17:45,036 --> 01:17:47,372
<i>- ♪ Hey ♪
- ♪ Hey ♪</i>

1258
01:17:47,622 --> 01:17:50,959
<i>♪ What's the matter with you?
Feel right? ♪</i>

1259
01:17:51,126 --> 01:17:52,502
<i>♪ Don't you feel right? ♪</i>

1260
01:17:54,170 --> 01:17:56,923
<i>♪ Hey, oh, yeah ♪</i>

1261
01:17:58,258 --> 01:17:59,551
You know...

1262
01:18:02,262 --> 01:18:04,139
...I really like you.

1263
01:18:05,140 --> 01:18:06,683
Don't talk to me.

1264
01:18:07,684 --> 01:18:08,768
Kiss me.

1265
01:18:12,480 --> 01:18:14,941
<i>♪ Come and get your love ♪♪</i>

1266
01:18:17,777 --> 01:18:19,738
Ooh....

1267
01:18:44,554 --> 01:18:46,014
Hello?

1268
01:18:46,181 --> 01:18:47,766
Anybody home?

1269
01:18:55,815 --> 01:18:56,858
Hello?

1270
01:18:57,025 --> 01:18:59,027
<i>Oh, my God, it's so terrible.</i>

1271
01:18:59,194 --> 01:19:02,155
<i>- Dean's leaving. Mm-hm.</i>
- Jesus!

1272
01:19:02,322 --> 01:19:04,491
- No. No, no.
<i>- He's leaving, all right.</i>

1273
01:19:04,657 --> 01:19:08,203
Dean's a team player.
He's not gonna cave in like that.

1274
01:19:08,370 --> 01:19:10,580
No, I just don't believe it.

1275
01:19:10,830 --> 01:19:13,208
<i>You better!
It'll be in the paper tomorrow.</i>

1276
01:19:13,416 --> 01:19:16,127
<i>I talked to Dean,
and he said it was true.</i>

1277
01:19:16,294 --> 01:19:20,548
<i>It's happening. It's happening.
It's real, man.</i>

1278
01:19:20,715 --> 01:19:23,218
Well, I guess...

1279
01:19:23,718 --> 01:19:25,428
...the shit's hitting the fan now?

1280
01:19:25,720 --> 01:19:28,139
<i>- Damn right it's hitting the fan.</i>
- Yeah.

1281
01:19:32,852 --> 01:19:34,687
- Ow, ow, ow!
- What's the matter?

1282
01:19:34,854 --> 01:19:38,608
Something's in my ass. Ow.

1283
01:19:39,818 --> 01:19:41,194
Am I bleeding?

1284
01:19:41,653 --> 01:19:43,029
You're fine.

1285
01:19:43,738 --> 01:19:47,492
Figures that the pain in my ass
is Nixon, the fascist.

1286
01:19:48,243 --> 01:19:50,120
He's your dad's boss.

1287
01:19:50,787 --> 01:19:52,831
My dad's an arms manufacturer.

1288
01:19:53,331 --> 01:19:55,083
Aren't you Haldeman's son?

1289
01:19:55,583 --> 01:19:57,210
No. That's Brad.

1290
01:19:57,377 --> 01:19:59,129
I'm his roommate at school.

1291
01:19:59,295 --> 01:20:01,381
He's at the dermatologist.

1292
01:20:01,548 --> 01:20:03,007
But this is his house, right?

1293
01:20:04,259 --> 01:20:06,010
Yeah. What the hell's going on?

1294
01:20:06,177 --> 01:20:07,846
Did we meet before or not?

1295
01:20:09,264 --> 01:20:10,557
So you don't remember?

1296
01:20:11,099 --> 01:20:13,226
I remember like it was yesterday.

1297
01:20:14,686 --> 01:20:16,020
That's funny...

1298
01:20:16,604 --> 01:20:18,273
...because we never met.

1299
01:20:19,399 --> 01:20:20,567
What?

1300
01:20:21,401 --> 01:20:24,779
I just saw you on the street
and thought you were cute.

1301
01:20:25,155 --> 01:20:26,156
Really?

1302
01:20:26,322 --> 01:20:28,867
- Mm-hm.
- Heh, heh.

1303
01:20:29,534 --> 01:20:30,785
Ooh.

1304
01:20:32,662 --> 01:20:34,122
You're hot.

1305
01:20:34,330 --> 01:20:35,457
Thanks.

1306
01:20:37,292 --> 01:20:38,626
Liddy says...

1307
01:20:39,043 --> 01:20:40,879
...that these prisons are....
Heh, heh.

1308
01:20:41,045 --> 01:20:44,507
They're like Club Med,
just like Club Med.

1309
01:20:44,883 --> 01:20:45,884
Well, I have...

1310
01:20:46,301 --> 01:20:49,596
...a particularly incriminating tape
I brought home.

1311
01:20:49,762 --> 01:20:51,681
I should give that a listen.

1312
01:20:52,307 --> 01:20:55,059
Sure. Yeah, I'll say hi to the wife.

1313
01:20:55,226 --> 01:20:58,313
<i>- Take care.</i>
- Okay. You take care too.

1314
01:21:18,124 --> 01:21:21,002
Whoa. Sorry, Mr. Haldeman.

1315
01:21:21,586 --> 01:21:23,171
That's okay, Chip.

1316
01:21:23,338 --> 01:21:24,756
Uh, who is this?

1317
01:21:24,923 --> 01:21:26,758
This is Betsy, sir.

1318
01:21:26,925 --> 01:21:28,635
Betsy. Hello.

1319
01:21:28,801 --> 01:21:30,220
Hi.

1320
01:21:41,356 --> 01:21:42,440
Wait a minute.

1321
01:21:43,483 --> 01:21:44,776
I know you.

1322
01:21:45,527 --> 01:21:46,611
You're one of those dog--

1323
01:21:51,032 --> 01:21:52,367
Shit!

1324
01:21:54,994 --> 01:21:56,746
Oh, my God!

1325
01:21:56,913 --> 01:21:58,623
Come back here, you little bitches!

1326
01:22:02,460 --> 01:22:03,503
My....

1327
01:22:03,670 --> 01:22:04,712
- Hm!
- Ha-ha!

1328
01:22:04,879 --> 01:22:08,716
<i>♪ I've seen all good people
Turn their heads each day ♪</i>

1329
01:22:08,883 --> 01:22:12,762
<i>♪ So satisfied
I'm on my way ♪</i>

1330
01:22:19,394 --> 01:22:20,478
It's not right.

1331
01:22:20,728 --> 01:22:22,730
Sources are sources.
Just because--

1332
01:22:22,981 --> 01:22:24,732
How goes it, paperboys?

1333
01:22:25,567 --> 01:22:26,818
Not too good.

1334
01:22:27,068 --> 01:22:28,820
Well, your luck's about to change.

1335
01:22:29,112 --> 01:22:33,408
The president knew about it for sure,
for absolute sure.

1336
01:22:34,409 --> 01:22:36,494
- That's the tape.
- It's the tape.

1337
01:22:36,744 --> 01:22:38,830
We finally have goods on Dick.

1338
01:22:39,289 --> 01:22:42,959
Bob, Tricky Dick's going down.

1339
01:22:44,252 --> 01:22:48,715
It's unethical to take possession
of the tape if it's stolen, but--

1340
01:22:48,965 --> 01:22:51,884
You can't have it anyway.
It's our only souvenir.

1341
01:22:52,176 --> 01:22:56,431
But we copied it down.
Thirty words a minute.

1342
01:22:56,598 --> 01:22:58,057
I passed typing.

1343
01:22:59,267 --> 01:23:02,020
A lot of people want to know
who our source is.

1344
01:23:02,270 --> 01:23:03,271
Really?

1345
01:23:03,605 --> 01:23:04,772
We'll be famous.

1346
01:23:05,023 --> 01:23:07,692
But we've decided
never to reveal your identity.

1347
01:23:08,276 --> 01:23:09,652
- For our own protection?
- Uh-huh.

1348
01:23:10,278 --> 01:23:15,033
No. It's just too embarrassing.

1349
01:23:15,199 --> 01:23:18,077
Dick's going down. Hey!

1350
01:23:18,453 --> 01:23:20,455
Dick is going down!

1351
01:23:23,291 --> 01:23:26,419
<i>♪ For the queen to use ♪</i>

1352
01:23:37,221 --> 01:23:39,390
<i>In a series of events
that rocked the nation...</i>

1353
01:23:39,557 --> 01:23:41,809
<i>...the White House accepted
the resignations...</i>

1354
01:23:41,976 --> 01:23:44,729
<i>...of Presidential Counsel John Dean....</i>

1355
01:23:45,605 --> 01:23:50,526
I can't believe this Watergate business
runs so high up.

1356
01:23:52,278 --> 01:23:54,656
You have no idea.

1357
01:23:55,615 --> 01:23:57,617
<i>I realized one day...</i>

1358
01:23:58,826 --> 01:24:00,703
<i>...that if I stayed...</i>

1359
01:24:01,496 --> 01:24:04,916
<i>...I'd be just as bad as he was.</i>

1360
01:24:21,933 --> 01:24:25,728
<i>♪ I've seen all good people
Turn their heads each day ♪</i>

1361
01:24:25,895 --> 01:24:29,732
<i>♪ So satisfied
I'm on my way ♪♪</i>

1362
01:24:35,530 --> 01:24:39,784
<i>I'd say these people are gonna
cost a million dollars...</i>

1363
01:24:40,076 --> 01:24:41,536
<i>...over the next two years.</i>

1364
01:24:43,079 --> 01:24:44,789
<i>We can get that.</i>

1365
01:24:45,164 --> 01:24:48,960
<i>You can get a million dollars,
and you can get it in cash.</i>

1366
01:24:49,210 --> 01:24:51,796
<i>I know where it could be gotten.</i>

1367
01:24:53,673 --> 01:24:55,174
<i>♪ I love you ♪</i>

1368
01:24:56,509 --> 01:24:58,594
<i>♪ I honestly love you ♪</i>

1369
01:25:00,096 --> 01:25:02,432
What in the bejesus is that?

1370
01:25:03,725 --> 01:25:04,976
<i>♪ I can see-- ♪♪</i>

1371
01:25:10,314 --> 01:25:12,400
<i>I can't keep my feelings inside
any longer.</i>

1372
01:25:12,567 --> 01:25:15,528
- Oh, no.
<i>- I've never felt this way about anybody...</i>

1373
01:25:15,695 --> 01:25:19,574
<i>- ...not even Bobby Sherman....</i>
- A 15-year-old.

1374
01:25:19,949 --> 01:25:21,367
Oh, Jesus!

1375
01:25:21,576 --> 01:25:23,619
<i>And that this is the real thing.</i>

1376
01:25:25,037 --> 01:25:27,540
Watergate, my ass!

1377
01:25:27,707 --> 01:25:30,418
They'll crucify me if they hear this.

1378
01:25:30,710 --> 01:25:32,420
Checkers, shut up!

1379
01:25:32,587 --> 01:25:35,590
Or I'll feed you to the Chinese!

1380
01:25:36,132 --> 01:25:37,842
Erase this shit.

1381
01:25:41,637 --> 01:25:43,598
What's that smell?

1382
01:25:46,017 --> 01:25:47,602
Hello Dollies!

1383
01:25:47,769 --> 01:25:49,812
Where'd you get the recipe?
It was stolen.

1384
01:25:50,062 --> 01:25:53,149
It's on the label
of every can, lamebrain.

1385
01:25:53,316 --> 01:25:55,276
- Oh.
- Except...

1386
01:25:55,651 --> 01:25:58,613
...for one special Larry Jobs addition.

1387
01:26:01,616 --> 01:26:04,410
I keep them mixed up with the walnuts.

1388
01:26:06,746 --> 01:26:09,624
You said these were
just walnut leaves.

1389
01:26:10,082 --> 01:26:11,375
I lied.

1390
01:26:11,709 --> 01:26:14,170
But the president ate those.

1391
01:26:14,337 --> 01:26:16,506
Right, your pal, Tricky Dick.

1392
01:26:16,672 --> 01:26:18,382
No, really.

1393
01:26:19,467 --> 01:26:21,052
Whoa.

1394
01:26:21,219 --> 01:26:23,429
Maybe that's why he's so paranoid.

1395
01:26:28,851 --> 01:26:30,645
Betsy. Betsy.

1396
01:26:30,812 --> 01:26:31,813
It's happening.

1397
01:26:32,063 --> 01:26:34,023
- What?
- Come on.

1398
01:26:36,776 --> 01:26:40,488
<i>Throughout the long and difficult
period of Watergate...</i>

1399
01:26:40,988 --> 01:26:44,617
<i>...I have felt it was my duty
to persevere...</i>

1400
01:26:45,618 --> 01:26:48,913
<i>...to make every possible effort
to complete the term of office...</i>

1401
01:26:49,205 --> 01:26:51,123
<i>...to which you elected me.</i>

1402
01:26:51,499 --> 01:26:53,000
<i>But as president...</i>

1403
01:26:53,793 --> 01:26:57,255
<i>...I must put the interest
of America first.</i>

1404
01:26:58,673 --> 01:27:00,007
<i>Therefore...</i>

1405
01:27:01,008 --> 01:27:03,719
<i>...I shall resign the presidency...</i>

1406
01:27:04,011 --> 01:27:06,722
<i>...effective at noon tomorrow.</i>

1407
01:27:07,515 --> 01:27:10,518
<i>Vice President Ford will be
sworn in at that hour...</i>

1408
01:27:10,685 --> 01:27:13,521
- It's gonna be different now.
<i>- ...in this office.</i>

1409
01:27:14,522 --> 01:27:16,691
They'll never lie to us again.

1410
01:27:29,704 --> 01:27:32,540
Isn't it against the law
to cut up the flag?

1411
01:27:33,457 --> 01:27:36,586
- Not if you sew it back together.
- Oh.

1412
01:27:36,752 --> 01:27:38,129
Right.

1413
01:27:39,839 --> 01:27:43,384
<i>♪ You walked into the party ♪</i>

1414
01:27:43,593 --> 01:27:47,680
<i>♪ Like you were walkin' onto a yacht ♪</i>

1415
01:27:48,389 --> 01:27:53,269
<i>♪ Your hat strategically dipped
Below one eye ♪</i>

1416
01:27:53,436 --> 01:27:56,981
<i>♪ Your scarf, it was apricot ♪</i>

1417
01:27:57,356 --> 01:28:01,402
<i>♪ You had one eye in the mirror ♪</i>

1418
01:28:01,569 --> 01:28:05,740
<i>♪ As you watched yourself gavotte ♪</i>

1419
01:28:06,032 --> 01:28:10,620
<i>♪ And all the girls dreamed
That they'd be your partner ♪</i>

1420
01:28:10,786 --> 01:28:13,706
<i>♪ They'd be your partner and ♪</i>

1421
01:28:13,873 --> 01:28:16,834
<i>♪ You're so vain ♪</i>

1422
01:28:17,668 --> 01:28:20,129
<i>♪ You probably think
This song is about you ♪</i>

1423
01:28:21,672 --> 01:28:24,133
<i>- ♪ You're so vain ♪
- ♪ You're so vain ♪</i>

1424
01:28:24,300 --> 01:28:27,595
<i>♪ I'll bet you think
This song is about you ♪</i>

1425
01:28:27,762 --> 01:28:30,348
<i>♪ Don't you? Don't you? ♪</i>

1426
01:28:30,556 --> 01:28:35,311
<i>♪ Ah, you had me several years ago ♪</i>

1427
01:28:35,686 --> 01:28:38,606
<i>♪ When I was still quite naive ♪</i>

1428
01:28:39,315 --> 01:28:44,570
<i>♪ When you said that we made
Such a pretty pair ♪</i>

1429
01:28:44,946 --> 01:28:48,491
<i>♪ And that you would never leave ♪</i>

1430
01:28:48,658 --> 01:28:53,704
<i>♪ But you gave away
The things you loved ♪</i>

1431
01:28:53,871 --> 01:28:57,124
<i>♪ And one of them was me ♪</i>

1432
01:28:57,291 --> 01:29:01,879
<i>♪ I had some dreams
They were clouds in my coffee ♪</i>

1433
01:29:02,046 --> 01:29:04,757
<i>♪ Clouds in my coffee and ♪</i>

1434
01:29:05,132 --> 01:29:07,843
<i>♪ You're so vain ♪</i>

1435
01:29:08,761 --> 01:29:12,056
<i>♪ You probably think
This song is about you ♪</i>

1436
01:29:12,223 --> 01:29:15,351
<i>- ♪ You're so vain ♪
- ♪ You're so vain ♪</i>

1437
01:29:15,518 --> 01:29:18,854
<i>♪ I'll bet you think
This song is about you ♪</i>

1438
01:29:19,021 --> 01:29:22,775
<i>♪ Don't you? Don't you? Don't you? ♪</i>

1439
01:29:23,359 --> 01:29:26,696
We look so fantastic.

1440
01:29:37,373 --> 01:29:40,584
- Oh, my God.
- We gotta hurry!

1441
01:29:48,217 --> 01:29:49,885
- Got it.
- Come on.

1442
01:29:50,094 --> 01:29:55,933
<i>♪ They were clouds in my coffee
Clouds in my coffee and ♪</i>

1443
01:29:56,100 --> 01:29:59,020
<i>♪ You're so vain ♪</i>

1444
01:29:59,812 --> 01:30:03,107
<i>♪ You probably think
This song is about you ♪</i>

1445
01:30:03,274 --> 01:30:06,068
<i>- ♪ You're so vain ♪
- ♪ You're so vain ♪</i>

1446
01:30:08,195 --> 01:30:09,196
Look!

1447
01:30:09,405 --> 01:30:12,158
You suck, Dick! Ha-ha-ha.

1448
01:30:16,620 --> 01:30:20,041
Whoo! Bye-bye!

1449
01:30:20,207 --> 01:30:22,376
Bye, Tricky Dick!

1450
01:30:22,543 --> 01:30:25,421
<i>♪ You're so vain ♪</i>

1451
01:30:25,588 --> 01:30:29,300
<i>♪ You probably think
This song is about you ♪</i>

1452
01:30:30,259 --> 01:30:34,263
<i>♪ You're so vain ♪</i>

1453
01:30:34,430 --> 01:30:38,267
<i>♪ You probably think
This song is about you ♪</i>

1454
01:30:39,101 --> 01:30:42,688
<i>♪ You're so vain ♪♪</i>

1455
01:30:52,490 --> 01:30:57,536
<i>♪ Ooh, you can dance
You can jive ♪</i>

1456
01:30:57,703 --> 01:31:01,207
<i>♪ Having the time of your life ♪</i>

1457
01:31:01,373 --> 01:31:06,504
<i>♪ Ooh, see that girl
Watch that scene ♪</i>

1458
01:31:06,670 --> 01:31:11,717
<i>♪ Diggin' the dancing queen ♪</i>

1459
01:31:16,931 --> 01:31:20,684
<i>♪ Friday night and the lights are low ♪</i>

1460
01:31:21,644 --> 01:31:25,272
<i>♪ Looking out for a place to go ♪</i>

1461
01:31:25,731 --> 01:31:28,609
<i>♪ Mm, where they play the right music ♪</i>

1462
01:31:28,776 --> 01:31:33,447
<i>♪ Getting in the swing
You come to look for a king ♪</i>

1463
01:31:35,950 --> 01:31:40,121
<i>♪ Anybody could be that guy ♪</i>

1464
01:31:40,663 --> 01:31:45,334
<i>♪ The night is young
And the music's high ♪</i>

1465
01:31:45,501 --> 01:31:47,711
<i>♪ With a bit of rock music ♪</i>

1466
01:31:47,878 --> 01:31:52,842
<i>♪ Everything is fine
You're in the mood for a dance ♪</i>

1467
01:31:53,926 --> 01:31:58,430
<i>♪ And when you get the chance ♪</i>

1468
01:31:58,597 --> 01:32:00,182
<i>♪ You are the dancing queen ♪♪</i>

1469
01:32:00,349 --> 01:32:04,311
<i>♪ You can dance, you can jive ♪</i>

1470
01:32:04,478 --> 01:32:07,815
<i>♪ Having the time of your life ♪</i>

1471
01:32:07,982 --> 01:32:12,778
<i>♪ Ooh, see that girl
Watch that scene ♪</i>

1472
01:32:12,945 --> 01:32:17,158
<i>♪ Diggin' the dancing queen ♪</i>

1473
01:32:31,755 --> 01:32:35,968
<i>♪ You can dance, you can jive ♪</i>

1474
01:32:36,135 --> 01:32:39,513
<i>♪ Having the time of your life ♪</i>

1475
01:32:39,722 --> 01:32:44,518
<i>♪ Ooh, see that girl
Watch that scene ♪</i>

1476
01:32:44,685 --> 01:32:48,439
<i>♪ Diggin' the dancing queen ♪</i>

1477
01:32:54,236 --> 01:32:57,323
<i>♪ You're the teaser
You turn 'em on ♪</i>

1478
01:32:58,699 --> 01:33:02,661
<i>♪ Leave 'em burning
And then you're gone ♪</i>

1479
01:33:03,204 --> 01:33:06,916
<i>♪ Looking out for another
Anyone will do ♪</i>

1480
01:33:07,082 --> 01:33:10,002
<i>♪ You're in the mood for a dance ♪</i>

1481
01:33:10,920 --> 01:33:15,216
<i>♪ And when you get the chance ♪</i>

1482
01:33:15,382 --> 01:33:20,012
<i>♪ You are the dancing queen
Young and sweet ♪</i>

1483
01:33:20,179 --> 01:33:23,974
<i>♪ Only 17 ♪</i>

1484
01:33:25,517 --> 01:33:28,979
<i>♪ Dancing queen
Feel the beat ♪</i>

1485
01:33:29,146 --> 01:33:33,400
<i>♪ From the tambourine
Oh, yeah ♪</i>

1486
01:33:34,443 --> 01:33:38,697
<i>♪ You can dance, you can jive ♪</i>

1487
01:33:38,864 --> 01:33:42,076
<i>♪ Having the time of your life ♪</i>

1488
01:33:42,243 --> 01:33:46,997
<i>♪ Ooh, see that girl
Watch that scene ♪</i>

1489
01:33:47,164 --> 01:33:50,918
<i>♪ Diggin' the dancing queen ♪</i>

1490
01:33:56,090 --> 01:33:59,677
<i>♪ Diggin' the dancing queen ♪</i>

1491
01:34:05,099 --> 01:34:08,644
<i>♪ Diggin' the dancing queen ♪</i>

1492
01:34:13,941 --> 01:34:18,153
<i>♪ Diggin' the dancing queen ♪♪</i>