1
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074
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2
00:01:12,440 --> 00:01:14,249
There he is again.

3
00:01:16,840 --> 00:01:19,002
Almost two decades
and he still comes.

4
00:01:19,600 --> 00:01:20,806
So sad.

5
00:01:23,320 --> 00:01:24,970
How you doing, buddy?

6
00:01:25,600 --> 00:01:28,171
Brought you all
your favorite candies.

7
00:01:33,480 --> 00:01:36,086
Come on, Lloyd,
you gotta get over her!

8
00:01:36,280 --> 00:01:38,089
Mary Samsonite
was just a girl.

9
00:01:40,280 --> 00:01:41,850
Besides, she's married.

10
00:01:42,320 --> 00:01:43,685
And even if
it had worked out,

11
00:01:43,760 --> 00:01:46,161
would you really want
ginger babies? Ugh.

12
00:01:46,600 --> 00:01:47,681
Gross.

13
00:01:50,040 --> 00:01:51,690
Man, you gotta
give me something!

14
00:02:04,640 --> 00:02:07,484
Lloyd, I got something
important to tell you.

15
00:02:08,840 --> 00:02:10,569
I can't come here anymore.

16
00:02:12,400 --> 00:02:16,246
I got kind of a serious
medical problem.

17
00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:21,563
It's sort of complicated.

18
00:02:22,520 --> 00:02:26,241
Basically, I'm gonna be pretty
busy for the next few months.

19
00:02:28,640 --> 00:02:29,721
Anyway...

20
00:02:30,240 --> 00:02:32,686
You're in good
hands here. So...

21
00:02:37,200 --> 00:02:38,770
Take care, buddy.

22
00:02:43,520 --> 00:02:44,885
Lloyd, did you
say something?

23
00:02:45,680 --> 00:02:47,011
<i>I</i> got you.

24
00:02:51,160 --> 00:02:52,650
That's it, kid.
You can do it.

25
00:02:52,720 --> 00:02:54,449
Come on, come on, come on!
Spit it out!

26
00:02:55,720 --> 00:02:57,290
Got ya!

27
00:02:59,960 --> 00:03:01,724
What?

28
00:03:02,240 --> 00:03:04,686
You should see the
look on your face!

29
00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:07,810
I got you so good!

30
00:03:07,920 --> 00:03:10,082
Wait a second!

31
00:03:10,200 --> 00:03:13,761
Are you telling me that you
were faking for 20 years?

32
00:03:14,120 --> 00:03:15,121
Uh-huh.

33
00:03:15,200 --> 00:03:18,921
So you mean that you just wasted
the best years of your life?

34
00:03:19,400 --> 00:03:20,731
Out the window!

35
00:03:20,800 --> 00:03:25,044
And you let me come here every
Wednesday for, like, a thousand weeks,

36
00:03:25,440 --> 00:03:27,283
and it was all
just for a gag?

37
00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:29,206
Uh-huh.

38
00:03:29,440 --> 00:03:30,601
That's

39
00:03:31,120 --> 00:03:32,485
awesome!

40
00:03:32,600 --> 00:03:33,761
I know!

41
00:03:33,840 --> 00:03:36,969
You gotta admit, I totally
had you suckered, didn't I?

42
00:03:37,200 --> 00:03:38,486
Hook, line and sphincter!

43
00:03:39,800 --> 00:03:42,121
Oh, oh.
On! Oh, oh. Oh.

44
00:03:43,160 --> 00:03:45,811
Legs are a little rubbery after
all that time sitting here.

45
00:03:45,960 --> 00:03:47,086
Why don't you
roll me inside?

46
00:03:47,160 --> 00:03:49,481
We'll get the nurse to take
the catheter out of me.
Oh.

47
00:03:49,640 --> 00:03:52,086
I wanna see if my lizard's
still spitting straight.

48
00:03:52,160 --> 00:03:54,640
We don't need nurses for that.
I know how to do it.

49
00:03:54,800 --> 00:03:55,926
But don't you have to...

50
00:03:59,000 --> 00:04:00,081
Oh, God!

51
00:04:00,320 --> 00:04:01,810
That thing's
really taken root!

52
00:04:02,280 --> 00:04:03,770
Hey, fellas!

53
00:04:03,840 --> 00:04:05,171
Give me a hand over here.
Si.

54
00:04:07,840 --> 00:04:09,683
Yankos los pee-pee.

55
00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:11,331
<i>Are you sure
about this, Har?</i>

56
00:04:11,680 --> 00:04:13,603
Usually, doctors like
to do this sort of thing.

57
00:04:13,680 --> 00:04:15,523
Oh, that's just for
insurance purposes.

58
00:04:15,840 --> 00:04:17,763
On three. Three!

59
00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:28,841
You are a fricking
genius, Lloyd!

60
00:04:28,920 --> 00:04:30,760
I mean, nobody else
could have pulled that off!

61
00:04:30,800 --> 00:04:31,800
Eh!
Nobody!

62
00:04:31,840 --> 00:04:35,367
I mean,
the shock treatments,
the partial lobotomy!

63
00:04:35,680 --> 00:04:37,364
That's commitment!
Yeah.

64
00:04:38,400 --> 00:04:39,845
It broke up the monotony.

65
00:04:39,920 --> 00:04:41,081
One thing
I don't get, though.

66
00:04:41,320 --> 00:04:43,322
Why did you play it out
for 20 whole years?

67
00:04:43,720 --> 00:04:45,960
Because it wouldn't
have been funny if
I stopped too soon.

68
00:04:46,160 --> 00:04:47,685
Comedy is all
about timing, Har.

69
00:04:47,840 --> 00:04:51,322
Yeah, but wouldn't it still have been
funny if you quit after 10 years?

70
00:04:51,400 --> 00:04:53,528
Oh, definitely.
But not as!

71
00:04:53,600 --> 00:04:55,250
Whoa!

72
00:04:55,840 --> 00:04:57,046
Pretty bird.

73
00:04:57,160 --> 00:04:58,889
Crap on toast!
Pretty bird.

74
00:04:59,520 --> 00:05:01,443
Is that grown-up Billy in 4-C?
Uh-huh.

75
00:05:01,920 --> 00:05:03,809
Come on, Siskel,
give me a movie quote.

76
00:05:03,880 --> 00:05:05,689
What did they say
in Jerry Maguire?

77
00:05:05,840 --> 00:05:07,365
"You had me at hello."

78
00:05:07,440 --> 00:05:08,601
<i>Um, Titanic?</i>

79
00:05:08,720 --> 00:05:10,165
"I'm king of the world."

80
00:05:10,240 --> 00:05:11,730
Good job!

81
00:05:12,360 --> 00:05:13,407
We better
tiptoe past him.

82
00:05:13,520 --> 00:05:15,363
Oh, no, you can't
tiptoe past a blindy.

83
00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:16,441
Their hearing's too good.

84
00:05:17,120 --> 00:05:18,246
What?
Mmm-hmm.

85
00:05:18,400 --> 00:05:20,084
That's just an
old wives' tale.

86
00:05:20,360 --> 00:05:22,362
Like women shouldn't
smoke during pregnancy.

87
00:05:22,560 --> 00:05:25,450
I turned out fine. My mom
smoked like a chimney.

88
00:05:25,760 --> 00:05:27,480
Especially when she was drinking!

89
00:05:27,560 --> 00:05:28,560
Whatever.
Doesn't matter.

90
00:05:28,640 --> 00:05:30,000
Billy's over
the whole Petey thing.

91
00:05:30,240 --> 00:05:31,241
You should see
his apartment.

92
00:05:31,360 --> 00:05:33,931
He's got the best rare
bird collection in Rhody!

93
00:05:35,280 --> 00:05:36,770
I gotta see this.

94
00:05:36,960 --> 00:05:38,450
Hey, Billy!

95
00:05:40,240 --> 00:05:42,811
I hear you got a lot
of flocking birds.

96
00:05:46,120 --> 00:05:48,282
Is that you, Lloyd?

97
00:05:49,280 --> 00:05:50,611
Very good.

98
00:05:50,760 --> 00:05:53,411
I didn't think you'd recognize
me after all these years.

99
00:05:53,560 --> 00:05:55,130
So what have you
been up to, buddy boy?

100
00:05:55,280 --> 00:05:56,611
Seen any good
movies lately?

101
00:05:58,000 --> 00:06:00,002
I mean, you know,
like...

102
00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:01,400
On the radio?

103
00:06:03,000 --> 00:06:04,411
What was that?

104
00:06:04,600 --> 00:06:05,880
Did you just feed
them something?

105
00:06:05,920 --> 00:06:06,920
Relax.

106
00:06:06,960 --> 00:06:08,007
It's just a little candy.

107
00:06:08,280 --> 00:06:09,725
You can't feed
candy to birds!

108
00:06:09,800 --> 00:06:10,961
Their stomachs
will explode!

109
00:06:11,240 --> 00:06:12,810
Even if it's just
a few Pop Rocks?

110
00:06:12,920 --> 00:06:15,127
Are you crazy?
Pick those up!

111
00:06:15,240 --> 00:06:17,129
Pick them up!
All right, all right!

112
00:06:17,400 --> 00:06:18,845
Sheesh.

113
00:06:20,840 --> 00:06:22,365
Well, nice catching up.

114
00:06:22,840 --> 00:06:24,001
See you later.

115
00:06:24,480 --> 00:06:25,720
Not if I see you first!

116
00:06:25,800 --> 00:06:27,325
Ha-ha! Good one!

117
00:06:27,440 --> 00:06:29,488
No, no, no,
it's okay, Siskel.

118
00:06:30,680 --> 00:06:33,604
Daddy's not gonna let him
get anywhere near you.

119
00:06:33,720 --> 00:06:35,688
Booga!

120
00:06:36,120 --> 00:06:38,088
See? I told you
that hearing thing

121
00:06:38,160 --> 00:06:39,280
was a wives' tale.

122
00:06:41,040 --> 00:06:43,008
Oh, yeah!

123
00:06:43,520 --> 00:06:45,443
Hey, who's this?
Ah.

124
00:06:46,440 --> 00:06:47,440
That's Butthole.

125
00:06:47,480 --> 00:06:48,925
I found him out in the
alley a couple years ago.

126
00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:50,684
Why did you name him Butthole?
Oh.

127
00:06:52,360 --> 00:06:53,691
Because of this.

128
00:06:53,840 --> 00:06:55,205
Oh, yeah. Good name.

129
00:06:55,680 --> 00:06:56,681
Totally fits.

130
00:06:57,680 --> 00:06:59,489
I like what you've
done with the place.

131
00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:01,804
Nice cappuccino machine.

132
00:07:01,960 --> 00:07:03,041
Who's the astronaut?

133
00:07:03,160 --> 00:07:04,366
Oh, that's my roommate.

134
00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:06,040
Roommate?

135
00:07:06,480 --> 00:07:07,720
You got a new roommate?

136
00:07:07,840 --> 00:07:10,127
I had to get somebody to
pay your half of the rent

137
00:07:10,240 --> 00:07:11,480
while you were
in the hospital.

138
00:07:12,360 --> 00:07:13,691
How's it going,
Ice Pick?

139
00:07:13,880 --> 00:07:16,565
Best day ever. Greatest
day of my life, really.

140
00:07:18,360 --> 00:07:19,850
Pick cooks up
a rock candy

141
00:07:19,960 --> 00:07:21,121
that will
make you dizzy.

142
00:07:21,200 --> 00:07:23,089
Folks come from all over
the city to buy it.

143
00:07:23,560 --> 00:07:25,005
It's burning my eyes.

144
00:07:25,480 --> 00:07:26,845
Must be Cajun style.

145
00:07:28,520 --> 00:07:31,330
So what's this serious
medical problem you've
been blabbing about?

146
00:07:31,840 --> 00:07:33,080
And it better be good.

147
00:07:33,920 --> 00:07:36,571
Lloyd,
there's something...

148
00:07:37,720 --> 00:07:38,687
I've known about
this for a while,

149
00:07:38,760 --> 00:07:39,880
but I didn't
wanna worry you.

150
00:07:40,560 --> 00:07:42,324
Mmm-hmm?

151
00:07:42,880 --> 00:07:44,689
I need a kidney transplant.

152
00:07:46,000 --> 00:07:48,207
No way! Really?

153
00:07:48,680 --> 00:07:49,727
Wow.

154
00:07:50,040 --> 00:07:51,166
So what do you wanna
do for dinner tonight?

155
00:07:51,440 --> 00:07:52,726
Wanna hit Haven Brothers?

156
00:07:53,040 --> 00:07:55,321
I could eat the mud-hole out
of a dead skunk!

157
00:07:55,920 --> 00:07:57,365
Are you not listening
to me, Lloyd?

158
00:07:57,600 --> 00:07:59,568
Getting a new kidney
is a really big deal.

159
00:07:59,920 --> 00:08:03,242
There's waiting lists,
lots and lots of
forms to fill out,

160
00:08:03,440 --> 00:08:06,569
and if I can't find another
kidney real soon, I'm dead meat.

161
00:08:08,560 --> 00:08:09,607
Yeah, well,

162
00:08:10,280 --> 00:08:12,806
maybe, just maybe,

163
00:08:12,960 --> 00:08:16,362
there's a person out there
who cares about you so much

164
00:08:16,520 --> 00:08:17,965
that said person
would be willing

165
00:08:18,040 --> 00:08:20,805
to give up a little piece of
himself to save your life.

166
00:08:21,360 --> 00:08:23,442
Really, Lloyd?
You'd do that?

167
00:08:23,760 --> 00:08:27,446
Me?
Yeah, right! Nice try!

168
00:08:27,600 --> 00:08:29,250
The nerve!
Oh.

169
00:08:31,200 --> 00:08:34,249
I mean, I would,
in a New York heartbeat.

170
00:08:34,720 --> 00:08:36,085
I'm just not a urine match.

171
00:08:36,280 --> 00:08:38,248
My wizz doesn't get
all sudsy like yours.

172
00:08:39,160 --> 00:08:40,446
Ow.

173
00:08:41,600 --> 00:08:43,568
Wait. Don't panic.

174
00:08:44,560 --> 00:08:46,642
I know exactly
what we gotta do.

175
00:08:49,560 --> 00:08:50,527
I don't know
about this, Lloyd.

176
00:08:50,600 --> 00:08:52,170
I haven't been home
in over 20 years.

177
00:08:52,320 --> 00:08:53,731
Come on, Harry!

178
00:08:53,800 --> 00:08:55,609
You need a genital
organ match.

179
00:08:55,720 --> 00:08:56,926
They're your parents.

180
00:08:57,160 --> 00:08:58,650
I'm not gonna go crawling
back to them, Lloyd.

181
00:08:58,720 --> 00:09:00,085
Not after what
they did to me.

182
00:09:00,160 --> 00:09:01,241
What did they do?

183
00:09:01,400 --> 00:09:02,845
They threw me
out of the house.

184
00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:05,241
Why? Just because I
told them I was gay.

185
00:09:05,840 --> 00:09:07,126
Why did you
tell them that?

186
00:09:07,520 --> 00:09:08,601
I was sick of
mowing the lawn.

187
00:09:08,680 --> 00:09:09,761
Oh, yeah.

188
00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:12,047
Well, I don't see
what choice you have.

189
00:09:12,440 --> 00:09:13,680
You either go home
and face the music

190
00:09:13,760 --> 00:09:15,808
or you suffocate
in your own pee.

191
00:09:16,200 --> 00:09:17,645
Yeah, I guess
you're right.

192
00:09:17,720 --> 00:09:18,767
Okay, let's do this.

193
00:09:18,840 --> 00:09:20,330
All right. Hop on.

194
00:09:22,480 --> 00:09:24,084
Engage super thrusters!

195
00:09:24,160 --> 00:09:25,400
Don't, Lloyd!

196
00:09:27,600 --> 00:09:29,045
Pardon me, Harry.

197
00:09:41,480 --> 00:09:42,845
Here we are.

198
00:09:44,160 --> 00:09:45,810
Place looks smaller
than I remember.

199
00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:47,047
Oh, yeah.

200
00:09:47,160 --> 00:09:48,161
Wow.

201
00:09:48,320 --> 00:09:50,527
Lot of memories
on this street.

202
00:09:50,640 --> 00:09:51,846
Yeah.

203
00:09:52,520 --> 00:09:53,646
Remember when we
pulled up on the bike

204
00:09:53,720 --> 00:09:55,245
and parked it
a couple seconds ago?

205
00:09:55,360 --> 00:09:56,407
Yeah, that was cool.

206
00:09:56,480 --> 00:09:58,403
Oh, those were the days.

207
00:09:58,800 --> 00:10:00,040
I remember
one afternoon,

208
00:10:00,160 --> 00:10:01,525
it was the first
day of spring,

209
00:10:01,680 --> 00:10:03,762
the flowers were blooming,
the sun was shining

210
00:10:03,840 --> 00:10:05,444
and you and I
were doing cartwheels

211
00:10:05,520 --> 00:10:06,806
right down that
hill over there.

212
00:10:06,880 --> 00:10:08,245
Yeah, I remember that!

213
00:10:08,360 --> 00:10:10,328
We were in your dad's
Lincoln, right? Yeah.

214
00:10:13,200 --> 00:10:15,521
You totally lost it
when I yanked the wheel.

215
00:10:24,840 --> 00:10:26,569
Come on! Pick it up!

216
00:10:26,640 --> 00:10:29,041
Show a little
hustle in there!

217
00:10:33,760 --> 00:10:36,286
Wow. Rong time, Harry!

218
00:10:36,880 --> 00:10:38,530
Oh, sorry.
We'll come back later.

219
00:10:38,760 --> 00:10:40,728
Hey!
No, no, no! I mean,

220
00:10:40,880 --> 00:10:42,848
<i>rong time, no see.</i>

221
00:10:43,440 --> 00:10:44,726
Oh.

222
00:10:45,040 --> 00:10:46,724
Where you been?

223
00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:48,120
Come! Come in!

224
00:10:48,280 --> 00:10:50,089
Oh!
Thanks, Dad.

225
00:10:53,400 --> 00:10:54,447
So you see,

226
00:10:54,560 --> 00:10:58,042
my best hope for a donor match
is with a blood relative.

227
00:10:58,120 --> 00:10:59,246
Family.

228
00:11:01,760 --> 00:11:03,922
Harry, you not touch
your peanut butter.

229
00:11:04,240 --> 00:11:06,561
Oh, that's okay.
I'm not very
hungry, Dad.

230
00:11:06,640 --> 00:11:08,244
When Harry young,

231
00:11:08,360 --> 00:11:11,045
oh, boy, he loves
the peanut butter.

232
00:11:11,240 --> 00:11:12,241
Oh.

233
00:11:12,720 --> 00:11:14,290
Three jar a week disappear!

234
00:11:14,440 --> 00:11:15,487
Good to know.

235
00:11:15,600 --> 00:11:18,809
So anyway, which one of you
two's gonna cough up a kidney?

236
00:11:23,040 --> 00:11:25,281
What? What was that?

237
00:11:26,160 --> 00:11:27,207
Wait!

238
00:11:27,280 --> 00:11:29,169
I know! You're the gopher
from Caddyshack.

239
00:11:29,600 --> 00:11:31,602
Look at her!
She's got it down!

240
00:11:31,960 --> 00:11:33,405
We love you, Harry.

241
00:11:34,240 --> 00:11:36,163
Do you love
him long time?

242
00:11:37,960 --> 00:11:40,850
But you know you're
not our real son, right?

243
00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:42,411
You adopted.

244
00:11:43,840 --> 00:11:44,966
Ouch.

245
00:11:51,480 --> 00:11:52,970
Dad, what are you saying?

246
00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:55,290
Sorry, Harry.

247
00:11:55,400 --> 00:11:56,970
We thought you know.

248
00:11:58,480 --> 00:11:59,527
Wow.

249
00:11:59,640 --> 00:12:01,085
What a nut punch.

250
00:12:01,320 --> 00:12:02,651
Don't be glum, Har.

251
00:12:02,800 --> 00:12:05,451
All this means is that your real
parents are out there somewhere.

252
00:12:05,600 --> 00:12:07,125
And I will go to
the ends of the earth to...

253
00:12:07,200 --> 00:12:08,326
Real parents dead.

254
00:12:08,480 --> 00:12:09,641
You're boned.

255
00:12:12,320 --> 00:12:14,049
James boned.

256
00:12:14,800 --> 00:12:16,450
Harry, Harry.

257
00:12:26,720 --> 00:12:29,564
No idea what you're saying,
Ma, but right back at you.

258
00:12:29,720 --> 00:12:33,441
Harry, before you go, your
mail piling up for many year.

259
00:12:33,520 --> 00:12:35,522
Oh.
We saving for you.

260
00:12:38,240 --> 00:12:41,642
Huh. Junk mail,
junk mail.

261
00:12:43,320 --> 00:12:45,368
I got accepted
to Arizona State.

262
00:12:45,480 --> 00:12:46,480
Hmm?

263
00:12:46,520 --> 00:12:47,885
Oh, look at this.

264
00:12:48,680 --> 00:12:50,364
It's a postcard
from Fraida Felcher.

265
00:12:50,680 --> 00:12:52,045
The chick from Cranston?

266
00:12:52,240 --> 00:12:53,890
Ooh!

267
00:12:55,200 --> 00:12:56,690
So, what'd she
have to say?

268
00:12:57,480 --> 00:12:59,562
"Harry, I'm pregnant.
Please call me."

269
00:13:00,200 --> 00:13:02,168
Lloyd,
I'm gonna be a dad!

270
00:13:02,920 --> 00:13:04,001
No way!

271
00:13:07,160 --> 00:13:08,366
Look at the postmark.

272
00:13:08,440 --> 00:13:09,726
1991.

273
00:13:09,920 --> 00:13:11,570
Do you know what
this means, Harry?

274
00:13:11,760 --> 00:13:13,762
You have a grown kid.
Oh.

275
00:13:14,080 --> 00:13:15,730
With grown kidneys.

276
00:13:20,920 --> 00:13:23,446
But, Lloyd, we don't have
a phone number or address,

277
00:13:23,560 --> 00:13:25,722
or nothing.
And who we fooling?

278
00:13:25,920 --> 00:13:28,366
Even if I find him,
my kid's never met me.

279
00:13:28,520 --> 00:13:30,443
Why would he wanna
give me a kidney?

280
00:13:30,880 --> 00:13:32,609
Are you serious?

281
00:13:32,880 --> 00:13:34,530
After all you've
done for him?

282
00:13:34,760 --> 00:13:36,364
It's the least he can do.

283
00:13:36,720 --> 00:13:38,131
What have I ever
done for him?

284
00:13:39,600 --> 00:13:41,967
You gave him his space.
Kids love that.

285
00:13:43,400 --> 00:13:45,767
I didn't wanna be
a helicopter parent.

286
00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:47,565
And you filled him
with wonder.

287
00:13:47,960 --> 00:13:49,405
Wonder?
Yeah.

288
00:13:50,200 --> 00:13:52,089
Like, "I wonder who
my deadbeat dad is?"

289
00:13:54,360 --> 00:13:55,771
Oh, it's okay, Lloyd.

290
00:13:56,920 --> 00:13:58,604
I've had a full life.

291
00:13:59,640 --> 00:14:01,483
I was a paperboy
for a week.

292
00:14:01,600 --> 00:14:03,329
I fathered a child.

293
00:14:03,760 --> 00:14:05,922
I've seen every episode
of Full House.

294
00:14:06,280 --> 00:14:07,406
Wow!

295
00:14:07,480 --> 00:14:08,811
Every episode?

296
00:14:09,600 --> 00:14:10,886
Okay, Okay-

297
00:14:11,040 --> 00:14:12,246
So how are
we gonna do this?

298
00:14:13,640 --> 00:14:15,210
If we find Fraida,
we find your kid.

299
00:14:15,280 --> 00:14:16,880
If we find your kid,
we find your kidney.

300
00:14:17,080 --> 00:14:18,286
Simple.

301
00:14:18,600 --> 00:14:20,568
Yeah, but I never even
knew where Fraida lived.

302
00:14:20,720 --> 00:14:23,610
I didn't have a car.
She always had to
pick me up in her van.

303
00:14:25,080 --> 00:14:26,969
Didn't you meet her
through Pete Stainer?

304
00:14:27,280 --> 00:14:28,964
Who?
Pee-Stain!

305
00:14:29,320 --> 00:14:30,651
He'll know how
to reach her.

306
00:14:30,760 --> 00:14:33,809
Yeah, but I haven't talked to
Pee-Stain in a hundred years!

307
00:14:33,920 --> 00:14:35,960
I can't drop by his house
in the middle of the night

308
00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:37,923
and ask him for
some chick's number.

309
00:14:39,480 --> 00:14:40,527
Sure you can!

310
00:14:41,120 --> 00:14:44,169
Oh, okay. But we gotta
be sub-tull about it.

311
00:14:45,920 --> 00:14:47,968
The word is pronounced
"subtle," Harry.

312
00:14:48,040 --> 00:14:49,087
It's a silent "B."

313
00:14:52,800 --> 00:14:53,847
What was that for?

314
00:14:54,160 --> 00:14:55,810
You had a gah-nat on you.

315
00:14:57,160 --> 00:14:59,811
Maybe we should catch a bus
to Pee-Stain's house.

316
00:15:00,160 --> 00:15:01,400
We can't. We got the bike.

317
00:15:01,480 --> 00:15:04,211
Oh, that's okay.
They got bike racks on
the front of buses now.

318
00:15:04,680 --> 00:15:05,841
Cool.

319
00:15:11,160 --> 00:15:12,207
Perfect.

320
00:15:13,240 --> 00:15:14,765
That's very convenient.

321
00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:18,240
Hey, guys!

322
00:15:18,560 --> 00:15:20,005
You forgot your bike!

323
00:15:20,200 --> 00:15:23,329
Oh, it's not ours. Somebody
abandoned it in front of our place.

324
00:15:23,560 --> 00:15:27,167
Yeah. Just left it there
double-chained to a tree.

325
00:15:31,080 --> 00:15:32,081
Hey, Har.

326
00:15:32,200 --> 00:15:34,123
You wanna hear the second most
annoying sound in the world?

327
00:15:34,200 --> 00:15:35,281
Sure.

328
00:15:42,960 --> 00:15:44,485
Yeah, that's
pretty annoying.

329
00:15:44,560 --> 00:15:45,766
No, not that.

330
00:15:45,880 --> 00:15:47,006
What the
hell are you doing

331
00:15:47,080 --> 00:15:49,208
ringing our doorbell like that
in the middle of the night?

332
00:15:49,360 --> 00:15:50,407
That!

333
00:15:52,200 --> 00:15:54,931
Mr. Stainer. Mrs. Stainer.
Nice to see you.

334
00:15:55,440 --> 00:15:56,885
Harry, Lloyd.

335
00:15:57,080 --> 00:15:59,765
To what do we owe the honor
at this late hour, gentlemen?

336
00:16:00,480 --> 00:16:01,891
We were just wondering
if Pee-Stain

337
00:16:01,960 --> 00:16:03,371
wanted to come out
for some suds.

338
00:16:03,880 --> 00:16:05,291
And maybe have
his ass handed to him

339
00:16:05,400 --> 00:16:06,640
in a couple of games
of Dig Dug.

340
00:16:08,200 --> 00:16:09,565
Lloyd.

341
00:16:10,600 --> 00:16:11,886
Peter is dead.

342
00:16:13,480 --> 00:16:15,881
Yeah, right. Since when?

343
00:16:16,560 --> 00:16:19,404
Since 1991. Remember?

344
00:16:20,280 --> 00:16:21,327
The motorcycle accident?

345
00:16:22,640 --> 00:16:24,722
But I thought
he pulled through.

346
00:16:24,800 --> 00:16:27,849
The obituary said he was
survived by his parents.

347
00:16:28,640 --> 00:16:31,450
Uh, no. He did
not pull through.

348
00:16:32,480 --> 00:16:33,606
Are you sure?

349
00:16:34,600 --> 00:16:35,761
Yes.

350
00:16:38,160 --> 00:16:40,447
Oh, yeah.

351
00:16:41,240 --> 00:16:42,924
You guys are right.

352
00:16:43,320 --> 00:16:46,005
Anyway. Sorry about
that whole thing.

353
00:16:46,280 --> 00:16:48,282
Pee-Stain and I were
very close friends.

354
00:16:48,480 --> 00:16:49,560
Yeah, we know.

355
00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:52,162
You're the one who
sold him the motorcycle.

356
00:16:52,440 --> 00:16:53,441
And if I recall,

357
00:16:53,640 --> 00:16:55,005
I made him a sweet deal.

358
00:16:55,080 --> 00:16:57,287
My bike for his
helmet, straight up.

359
00:16:57,600 --> 00:16:59,329
That thing was a rocket.

360
00:16:59,680 --> 00:17:01,040
A little squirrelly
on the corners,

361
00:17:01,120 --> 00:17:02,451
but when you got it
on a straightaway...

362
00:17:02,480 --> 00:17:04,960
Good night, Lloyd.
Good night, Harry.

363
00:17:09,960 --> 00:17:10,961
That was awkward.

364
00:17:11,040 --> 00:17:12,326
You're not kidding.

365
00:17:12,960 --> 00:17:15,042
When somebody comes
to your door at 3:00 a.m..

366
00:17:15,200 --> 00:17:16,804
put some pants on!

367
00:17:17,280 --> 00:17:18,486
Hey, wait a second.

368
00:17:18,680 --> 00:17:20,284
That's where
I met Fraida Felcher.

369
00:17:20,440 --> 00:17:24,331
She worked at
the funeral parlor where
they buried Pee-Stain.

370
00:17:25,280 --> 00:17:26,327
Wow.

371
00:17:27,200 --> 00:17:28,850
Think about it.

372
00:17:29,280 --> 00:17:32,204
If I hadn't sold that
crotch rocket to Pee-Stain,

373
00:17:32,400 --> 00:17:33,765
you wouldn't have
a bastard child

374
00:17:33,840 --> 00:17:35,649
who's gonna save your life.

375
00:17:37,160 --> 00:17:39,640
God's got a pretty warped
sense of humor, huh?

376
00:17:39,800 --> 00:17:42,326
Yeah. I bet
he smokes weed.

377
00:17:42,800 --> 00:17:45,451
Otherwise, why would he put our
testicles outside our bodies

378
00:17:45,520 --> 00:17:46,681
where someone
could do this?

379
00:18:03,040 --> 00:18:04,690
Ow!

380
00:18:05,040 --> 00:18:06,166
Bush club!

381
00:18:07,760 --> 00:18:09,444
What are
you doing, Lloyd?

382
00:18:10,440 --> 00:18:12,090
I'm about to meet my kid!

383
00:18:12,240 --> 00:18:13,321
Sorry, Har.

384
00:18:13,400 --> 00:18:15,562
Bushes like that don't
come along every day.

385
00:18:21,360 --> 00:18:24,204
Excuse me, sir.
ls Fraida working today?

386
00:18:27,040 --> 00:18:28,201
- I'm Fraida.
- Oh.

387
00:18:28,520 --> 00:18:29,681
Sorry for the confusion.

388
00:18:29,760 --> 00:18:31,967
We meant your smoking-hot
daughter, Fraida Junior.

389
00:18:32,960 --> 00:18:35,042
There is no
Fraida Junior.

390
00:18:35,760 --> 00:18:37,489
I'm the only Fraida
in the family.

391
00:18:37,560 --> 00:18:40,723
That little hottie
must have given us a fake name.

392
00:18:41,200 --> 00:18:42,725
Look, guys, it's me,

393
00:18:42,920 --> 00:18:43,967
Fraida Felcher.

394
00:18:44,080 --> 00:18:45,081
Yeah, right.

395
00:18:45,200 --> 00:18:48,807
Like we'd be fighting over those
blowfish jowls.

396
00:18:49,040 --> 00:18:50,121
No offense.

397
00:18:50,560 --> 00:18:51,607
Harry.

398
00:18:52,200 --> 00:18:53,247
Lloyd.

399
00:18:54,040 --> 00:18:55,405
I'm gonna say
this one more time.

400
00:18:56,560 --> 00:18:58,050
I'm Fraida.

401
00:19:00,760 --> 00:19:01,807
Tattoo.

402
00:19:01,880 --> 00:19:02,881
<i>Oh, Yeah?</i>

403
00:19:02,960 --> 00:19:04,405
Then show us your tattoo.
Mmm-hmm.

404
00:19:04,720 --> 00:19:07,326
Because Fraida had a cute
little smiley face on her back

405
00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:09,289
right above
her bikini line.

406
00:19:17,240 --> 00:19:18,287
Well?

407
00:19:26,640 --> 00:19:27,641
Hmm.

408
00:19:28,160 --> 00:19:29,400
It's close.
Mmm.

409
00:19:31,600 --> 00:19:32,886
Oh. Hi, Fraida.

410
00:19:32,960 --> 00:19:34,485
Oh, hey!
How you been?

411
00:19:34,760 --> 00:19:35,841
Have you been
doing yoga?

412
00:19:36,640 --> 00:19:39,769
Yeah, I'm kind of busy. ls there
a reason you guys are here?

413
00:19:40,600 --> 00:19:41,761
Yes.

414
00:19:42,080 --> 00:19:45,687
I just received this postcard
that you sent me 22 years ago.

415
00:19:47,640 --> 00:19:49,688
Talk about snail mail.

416
00:19:52,640 --> 00:19:53,721
You better come in.

417
00:20:00,240 --> 00:20:02,766
So, did you, uh,
ever have the baby?

418
00:20:03,080 --> 00:20:05,481
I had a daughter. Named her Fanny.

419
00:20:05,600 --> 00:20:07,364
You hear that, Har?
A little girl.

420
00:20:07,560 --> 00:20:09,005
Fanny Felcher!
Ow!

421
00:20:09,600 --> 00:20:11,409
Are you all right?
Uh, bad back.

422
00:20:11,600 --> 00:20:14,080
Oh, I have so many
questions for you.

423
00:20:14,160 --> 00:20:15,207
Like?

424
00:20:15,280 --> 00:20:17,328
For starters,
how was the pregnancy?

425
00:20:17,400 --> 00:20:20,324
Was it a tough one? Did
they have to saw you open?

426
00:20:20,480 --> 00:20:22,562
Whoa, Har.
Dial it down!

427
00:20:22,920 --> 00:20:24,920
We're talking about the
miracle of childbirth here.

428
00:20:24,960 --> 00:20:27,327
What my insensitive
friend meant was,

429
00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:28,765
did you have a C-section

430
00:20:28,840 --> 00:20:32,287
or were you able to have
the baby </i>au snatch-urel?</i>

431
00:20:34,120 --> 00:20:36,441
It went smoothly.

432
00:20:42,280 --> 00:20:43,770
So, uh, where is she?

433
00:20:45,400 --> 00:20:46,561
Can I meet her?

434
00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:49,730
I gave her up for adoption.

435
00:20:51,280 --> 00:20:52,406
What?

436
00:20:54,080 --> 00:20:56,447
Why? Because I was
broke and scared.

437
00:20:56,640 --> 00:20:58,847
I regretted it
as soon as I did it.

438
00:20:59,360 --> 00:21:00,964
But it was too late.

439
00:21:01,200 --> 00:21:03,328
I'd already signed
away all my rights.

440
00:21:04,800 --> 00:21:05,926
Then a couple years ago

441
00:21:06,000 --> 00:21:07,604
I wrote her a letter.

442
00:21:08,760 --> 00:21:10,330
But she never
wrote me back.

443
00:21:11,160 --> 00:21:12,207
Wait here.

444
00:21:13,680 --> 00:21:15,489
What do we do now?

445
00:21:15,960 --> 00:21:17,928
What do you mean,
"What do we do now?"

446
00:21:18,400 --> 00:21:20,607
I mean, at this exact moment
in time, what do we do?

447
00:21:20,800 --> 00:21:22,290
Harry, don't you hear that?

448
00:21:22,360 --> 00:21:24,089
It's the fat lady singing.

449
00:21:24,240 --> 00:21:25,480
It's over!

450
00:21:26,080 --> 00:21:27,889
I need something to drink.

451
00:21:28,240 --> 00:21:29,730
But...
Harry, enough!

452
00:21:30,160 --> 00:21:31,571
We tried and we failed!

453
00:21:31,720 --> 00:21:33,290
As Vince Lombardi
used to say,

454
00:21:33,360 --> 00:21:34,521
you gotta know
when to quit!

455
00:21:35,600 --> 00:21:38,080
Hey, you should pick out one of
those coffins while we're here.

456
00:21:38,160 --> 00:21:39,571
What if...
Darn it, Har!

457
00:21:39,800 --> 00:21:42,929
I cannot live on this emotional
roller coaster any longer.

458
00:21:43,080 --> 00:21:44,889
I feel bad saying it,
but you're slunk meat.

459
00:21:45,240 --> 00:21:47,080
Here's a picture I found
of my daughter online.

460
00:21:58,920 --> 00:22:00,922
Or, we could suck it up,

461
00:22:01,080 --> 00:22:02,206
pick ourselves up
by our bootstraps

462
00:22:02,320 --> 00:22:04,846
and go find that little girl!

463
00:22:06,120 --> 00:22:07,201
Hold on.

464
00:22:07,280 --> 00:22:09,248
You wrote her a letter. You
must know where she lives!

465
00:22:09,320 --> 00:22:13,211
Yeah. I tracked her down through
this adoption search site.

466
00:22:13,560 --> 00:22:15,767
She was raised by
this hotshot scientist.

467
00:22:15,960 --> 00:22:17,849
Why didn't you just go
find her in person?

468
00:22:18,600 --> 00:22:19,886
If she doesn't
want to meet me,

469
00:22:19,960 --> 00:22:21,883
I am not going to
force myself on her.

470
00:22:22,440 --> 00:22:23,965
Maybe she didn't
get your letter.

471
00:22:24,400 --> 00:22:25,811
She got it, all right.

472
00:22:27,880 --> 00:22:29,600
What if we go
track her down for you?

473
00:22:29,680 --> 00:22:31,250
There's no lawsuit
against that.

474
00:22:31,600 --> 00:22:32,806
Are you guys serious?

475
00:22:33,000 --> 00:22:34,161
You'd help me out?

476
00:22:34,640 --> 00:22:36,529
Of course we'll
help you out.

477
00:22:36,600 --> 00:22:37,601
We're gonna need
some wheels.

478
00:22:37,720 --> 00:22:38,767
I'll lend you a car.

479
00:22:38,840 --> 00:22:39,921
Then it's done.

480
00:22:40,000 --> 00:22:42,731
Yeah, using this address
and our superior instincts,

481
00:22:42,920 --> 00:22:44,524
you and your little girl
are gonna be having

482
00:22:44,600 --> 00:22:46,090
a family reunion
in no time.

483
00:22:46,240 --> 00:22:47,366
Cheers!

484
00:22:47,840 --> 00:22:49,365
Whoa! Wait.
Where did you get that?

485
00:22:50,040 --> 00:22:51,280
The Slurpee machine
in the back.

486
00:22:51,400 --> 00:22:52,925
That's embalming fluid.

487
00:22:53,800 --> 00:22:54,801
Oh.

488
00:22:55,360 --> 00:22:56,725
Does it have aspartame?

489
00:22:57,160 --> 00:22:58,241
No.

490
00:22:58,520 --> 00:22:59,681
Cool.

491
00:23:12,080 --> 00:23:14,082
Hey, guys,
check this out!

492
00:23:34,400 --> 00:23:36,846
What about the blue roads
with the big numbers?

493
00:23:37,160 --> 00:23:38,207
Those are rivers.

494
00:23:38,280 --> 00:23:39,327
They're rivers?
Yeah.

495
00:23:39,400 --> 00:23:40,890
We could get a boat.

496
00:23:44,720 --> 00:23:46,324
Boats are dangerous.

497
00:24:01,040 --> 00:24:02,280
This is it.

498
00:24:02,440 --> 00:24:05,046
6765 Elmwood.

499
00:24:13,440 --> 00:24:14,521
You look nervous.

500
00:24:14,640 --> 00:24:16,290
I am nervous!
I'm about to meet my kid

501
00:24:16,360 --> 00:24:17,600
and I don't know
what to say to her.

502
00:24:17,680 --> 00:24:18,920
That's real easy, Har.

503
00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:21,367
You make a little small talk about
why you missed all those birthdays,

504
00:24:21,480 --> 00:24:23,130
holidays and graduations.

505
00:24:23,200 --> 00:24:25,168
Maybe a couple of dick
jokes to put her at ease.

506
00:24:25,480 --> 00:24:26,720
And boing, you hit
her up for the kidney.

507
00:24:26,800 --> 00:24:28,643
Okay. What if
she says no?

508
00:24:28,800 --> 00:24:29,801
She's not gonna say no.

509
00:24:29,880 --> 00:24:31,325
She's the fruit
of your loom.

510
00:24:37,000 --> 00:24:39,321
Suck me sideways.

511
00:24:40,080 --> 00:24:42,208
You're the spitting
image of your mother.

512
00:24:42,400 --> 00:24:44,004
You morons.

513
00:24:45,280 --> 00:24:47,726
This is the return address.

514
00:24:48,200 --> 00:24:52,046
Hers is on the side
with the stamp.

515
00:24:53,480 --> 00:24:54,481
Oh.

516
00:24:55,240 --> 00:24:57,242
But it's still uncanny!

517
00:25:19,720 --> 00:25:21,210
Oxford, Maryland, huh?

518
00:25:21,280 --> 00:25:24,204
So that's where
my little girl's been
living all these years.

519
00:25:25,040 --> 00:25:26,246
Hey, Har!

520
00:25:26,320 --> 00:25:28,288
Look it.
Giant nutcracker.

521
00:25:28,600 --> 00:25:30,204
Oh.

522
00:25:31,200 --> 00:25:33,680
I want

523
00:25:33,880 --> 00:25:35,962
your nuts,

524
00:25:36,120 --> 00:25:38,407
Harry!

525
00:25:41,440 --> 00:25:45,081
Boy, I sure wish I could
have been there for her
when she was little.

526
00:25:45,160 --> 00:25:46,241
Whatever.

527
00:25:46,320 --> 00:25:48,721
That's all water under
the fridge now, Har.

528
00:25:48,880 --> 00:25:49,881
Think of the bright side.

529
00:25:49,960 --> 00:25:51,280
You're finally
getting to meet her

530
00:25:51,440 --> 00:25:53,647
and you never had to change
all those poopie diapers.

531
00:25:53,760 --> 00:25:55,842
That's called being
a parent, Lloyd.

532
00:25:55,960 --> 00:25:59,089
Besides, I changed your
poopie diapers for 20 years.

533
00:26:10,800 --> 00:26:13,007
I totally sucked you in.

534
00:26:13,440 --> 00:26:15,488
Half the time,
it wasn't even my poop.

535
00:26:22,800 --> 00:26:26,122
I wonder what it would have
been like to raise a child.

536
00:26:28,920 --> 00:26:31,685
Maybe I couldn't afford to send
her to the best public schools,

537
00:26:33,080 --> 00:26:35,731
but I'll bet I would have
been a pretty good dad.

538
00:26:42,920 --> 00:26:45,571
You don't need
training wheels.
You can do this.

539
00:26:46,000 --> 00:26:47,206
Here we go!

540
00:26:47,280 --> 00:26:48,770
Come on, come on!

541
00:26:51,560 --> 00:26:53,483
No way!

542
00:26:53,640 --> 00:26:55,085
That was awesome!

543
00:26:55,520 --> 00:26:56,567
Awesome!

544
00:26:58,000 --> 00:26:59,843
Perfect. Okay.

545
00:27:00,160 --> 00:27:01,207
One,

546
00:27:01,520 --> 00:27:02,681
two,

547
00:27:03,440 --> 00:27:04,885
three.

548
00:27:34,600 --> 00:27:35,726
Hey, Mr. Dunne.

549
00:27:35,840 --> 00:27:38,207
Hello, Baxter.
How are you?
Good to see you.

550
00:27:38,280 --> 00:27:39,406
Here you go, honey.

551
00:27:39,480 --> 00:27:40,970
Thank you, Mr. Dunne!
Bye, Dad!

552
00:27:42,280 --> 00:27:43,691
Isn't that good?
Mmm-hmm.

553
00:27:45,120 --> 00:27:46,770
Mr. Dunne!

554
00:27:49,360 --> 00:27:51,442
Mr. Dunne!

555
00:27:51,720 --> 00:27:53,961
Hey, Mr. Dunne!

556
00:27:55,360 --> 00:27:56,805
Do you mind?

557
00:27:56,880 --> 00:27:58,291
<i>Bon appétit, kid!</i>

558
00:28:13,840 --> 00:28:14,966
Lloyd!

559
00:28:15,880 --> 00:28:17,086
What are you doing?

560
00:28:17,280 --> 00:28:19,203
I was trying to
clean off this smudge!

561
00:28:19,280 --> 00:28:20,406
But you know what?

562
00:28:20,840 --> 00:28:23,127
I think it might
be on the inside!

563
00:28:26,200 --> 00:28:28,441
<i>This type
of evening always provides</i>

564
00:28:28,560 --> 00:28:29,641
<i>nonstop surprises.</i>

565
00:28:29,720 --> 00:28:31,290
<i>Ah, look who's arrived.
Tom Brady</i>

566
00:28:31,640 --> 00:28:34,484
<i>with his gorgeous wife,
Gisele, by his side.</i>

567
00:28:34,640 --> 00:28:37,689
<i>Doesn't she look radiant?
Tom's in agreement, I think.</i>

568
00:28:39,200 --> 00:28:41,328
Now that is hot.

569
00:28:41,880 --> 00:28:43,006
Yep-

570
00:28:43,360 --> 00:28:45,681
That's why he gets
all the girls.

571
00:29:00,800 --> 00:29:02,802
It sure would be nice.

572
00:29:03,560 --> 00:29:04,721
What would be nice, Lloyd?

573
00:29:05,160 --> 00:29:06,924
Oh! You know,

574
00:29:07,000 --> 00:29:09,000
if she introduced me to
one of her hot girlfriends.

575
00:29:09,040 --> 00:29:10,804
Girlfriends.

576
00:29:10,880 --> 00:29:12,245
She's 22!

577
00:29:12,600 --> 00:29:13,806
So?

578
00:29:13,880 --> 00:29:16,281
So, that's a lot
younger than you.

579
00:29:16,880 --> 00:29:17,881
Don't worry,
when we get home,

580
00:29:17,960 --> 00:29:19,962
I'm gonna fix you up
with someone your own age.

581
00:29:20,120 --> 00:29:22,202
My age? Gross!

582
00:29:23,360 --> 00:29:24,850
I mean, what would
we talk about?

583
00:29:25,400 --> 00:29:27,448
I don't know.
Same stuff you talked
about in high school

584
00:29:27,560 --> 00:29:30,803
when you took chicks down to
Oyster Swallow Cove.

585
00:29:30,960 --> 00:29:32,564
Oyster Swallow Cove.

586
00:29:33,320 --> 00:29:34,970
There's a trip down
Mammary Lane.

587
00:29:40,600 --> 00:29:41,806
Oh, crap!

588
00:29:41,880 --> 00:29:43,211
We gotta get
back to Providence!

589
00:29:43,520 --> 00:29:44,726
What? Why?

590
00:29:44,800 --> 00:29:46,131
Remember I told you
Ice Pick had to make

591
00:29:46,200 --> 00:29:47,531
that rock candy
run down to Maine?

592
00:29:47,600 --> 00:29:48,681
Yeah.

593
00:29:48,800 --> 00:29:50,882
I forgot to get someone to
feed Butthole.

594
00:29:51,280 --> 00:29:53,123
Relax. I took care of it.

595
00:29:53,680 --> 00:29:54,806
You did?

596
00:29:54,880 --> 00:29:57,326
Yeah. Billy in 4-C's
gonna feed him.

597
00:29:57,920 --> 00:29:59,809
Oh, great!

598
00:29:59,960 --> 00:30:01,600
Did you give him the key
to our apartment?

599
00:30:01,640 --> 00:30:02,687
No.

600
00:30:02,760 --> 00:30:04,603
You think
I want wheel
marks all over the rug?

601
00:30:04,680 --> 00:30:06,205
I just wrote him a note,
left some food

602
00:30:06,280 --> 00:30:08,567
and threw Butthole inside his
place when we were leaving.

603
00:30:09,840 --> 00:30:13,561
But, Lloyd, Billy has over a
hundred rare birds in there!

604
00:30:14,160 --> 00:30:15,241
So?

605
00:30:15,480 --> 00:30:17,926
They're not gonna mess
with a 30-pound alley cat.

606
00:30:18,080 --> 00:30:19,241
Sheesh!

607
00:30:20,480 --> 00:30:22,687
Hey, gang! I'm home!

608
00:30:24,120 --> 00:30:25,246
Guys?

609
00:30:27,160 --> 00:30:28,286
You sure are quiet.

610
00:30:31,320 --> 00:30:33,209
Speak to me, Siskel.

611
00:30:33,360 --> 00:30:35,647
The horror! The horror!

612
00:30:43,240 --> 00:30:44,969
Are you sure you
don't wanna come, Dad?

613
00:30:45,040 --> 00:30:47,441
It's not gonna be nearly
as much fun without you.

614
00:30:47,520 --> 00:30:49,249
Oh, of course
I wanna come, monkey,

615
00:30:49,320 --> 00:30:50,606
but it's out
of the question.

616
00:30:52,560 --> 00:30:53,721
I'm way too
flu-ey to travel.

617
00:30:53,800 --> 00:30:56,485
But all the geeky science guys
are gonna be so disappointed.

618
00:30:56,560 --> 00:30:59,006
They were finally gonna
get to meet you in person!

619
00:30:59,080 --> 00:31:00,081
So sorry, honey.

620
00:31:00,160 --> 00:31:02,401
Ms. Pinchelow,
your car is here.

621
00:31:02,600 --> 00:31:03,726
Thanks, Travis!

622
00:31:04,640 --> 00:31:05,846
Okay!

623
00:31:05,920 --> 00:31:07,524
Take care
of my dad, Adele.

624
00:31:08,400 --> 00:31:09,401
Oh, oh, oh, oh, whoa!

625
00:31:09,520 --> 00:31:11,320
Penny, do you have the
speech I wrote for you?

626
00:31:11,440 --> 00:31:12,521
I do.

627
00:31:12,640 --> 00:31:13,721
Good. Oh!

628
00:31:13,840 --> 00:31:15,400
I almost forgot.
There's one more thing.

629
00:31:16,160 --> 00:31:18,288
I want you
to take this box

630
00:31:18,640 --> 00:31:21,849
and personally give it to the head
of the conference, Dr. Walcott,

631
00:31:22,000 --> 00:31:24,924
and say how sorry I am
that I can't be there.

632
00:31:25,000 --> 00:31:26,047
Got it.

633
00:31:26,120 --> 00:31:28,043
Oh, what's in the box, honey?
Mmm.

634
00:31:28,160 --> 00:31:30,003
Just a small gift.

635
00:31:30,120 --> 00:31:32,043
Wow, Penny.
You're giving a speech?

636
00:31:32,200 --> 00:31:34,771
Oh, it's only a couple of
sentences on the last day,

637
00:31:34,960 --> 00:31:37,122
but then I'm picking up
a reward for my dad.

638
00:31:37,200 --> 00:31:38,440
Award, honey.

639
00:31:38,840 --> 00:31:40,968
Did you remember
to bring the ATM card
I gave you?

640
00:31:41,120 --> 00:31:44,761
Yes. But what's
my PIN number again?
I keep forgetting.

641
00:31:44,960 --> 00:31:46,724
It's 11-11.

642
00:31:48,760 --> 00:31:50,762
I thought it had
to be four numbers.

643
00:31:51,880 --> 00:31:53,086
There are four numbers.

644
00:31:53,480 --> 00:31:56,165
One-one-one-one.

645
00:31:57,400 --> 00:31:59,801
Time to go!
Come on, Penny.

646
00:32:12,240 --> 00:32:13,446
Aw!

647
00:32:15,480 --> 00:32:18,962
Are you smiling at me?
Are you smiling at me?

648
00:32:19,200 --> 00:32:21,362
He's a good boy!
Yes, he is!

649
00:32:21,440 --> 00:32:23,010
Let me see
your purty teeth!

650
00:32:23,080 --> 00:32:24,366
Oh! Say it,
don't spray it!

651
00:32:36,240 --> 00:32:39,130
We're almost there.
The guy told me to
get off at the next exit.

652
00:32:39,200 --> 00:32:40,929
Shh. They're picking
the lottery balls.

653
00:32:41,200 --> 00:32:44,602
<i>Here's today's Mega-Lottery
picks, worth 34 million dollars.</i>

654
00:32:44,840 --> 00:32:47,889
<i>The first number is 44.
The next is 2.</i>

655
00:32:48,160 --> 00:32:52,131
<i>38, 24, 21 and 54.</i>

656
00:32:52,440 --> 00:32:55,728
Cripes! I was so close!

657
00:32:56,080 --> 00:32:58,287
I had all the right numbers,
but in the wrong order.

658
00:33:02,480 --> 00:33:04,642
<i>Honey,
my stomach is killing me.</i>

659
00:33:04,800 --> 00:33:06,325
<i>Can you bring me
some more Pepto?</i>

660
00:33:06,480 --> 00:33:08,403
I'm making you some
nice warm oatmeal.

661
00:33:08,760 --> 00:33:10,330
It will settle your tummy.

662
00:33:23,720 --> 00:33:24,926
What are you doing?

663
00:33:27,720 --> 00:33:29,722
I'm fixing lunch
for my husband.

664
00:33:40,240 --> 00:33:41,685
That's not enough.

665
00:33:43,720 --> 00:33:46,405
We gotta pick up
the pace a little bit.
We want him dead

666
00:33:46,520 --> 00:33:49,330
before Dumbelina gets back from
that egghead convention, remember?

667
00:33:49,400 --> 00:33:51,084
Slow it down.

668
00:33:51,160 --> 00:33:54,050
If we put too much in at once,
it could show up in an autopsy.

669
00:33:54,120 --> 00:33:55,246
Not this stuff.

670
00:33:55,640 --> 00:33:57,881
I got it from
my twin brother.
He's Special Ops.

671
00:33:58,040 --> 00:33:59,565
It's totally undetectable.

672
00:34:00,720 --> 00:34:02,768
Now come on.
Let's hurry this up.

673
00:34:03,280 --> 00:34:05,044
That way we have a few
extra days to ourselves,

674
00:34:05,120 --> 00:34:06,804
to enjoy our inheritance.

675
00:34:07,160 --> 00:34:09,322
Oh, there's gonna be
plenty of time for that.

676
00:34:10,000 --> 00:34:13,163
Five million dollars buys
a lot of champagne.

677
00:34:18,560 --> 00:34:19,686
Give it to me.

678
00:34:27,040 --> 00:34:28,371
You like that,
don't you?

679
00:34:28,640 --> 00:34:30,404
Yeah. It's all right.

680
00:34:32,120 --> 00:34:33,804
I'll be honest.
It's not my favorite thing.

681
00:34:36,160 --> 00:34:37,571
Who the hell is that?

682
00:34:40,480 --> 00:34:42,289
Boy, this is quite
a shack, huh, Har?

683
00:34:42,440 --> 00:34:44,807
Yeah, but I bet if you pulled
the weeds off the walls

684
00:34:44,920 --> 00:34:47,764
and slapped up
some aluminum siding,
it wouldn't be half bad.

685
00:34:47,840 --> 00:34:50,411
Yeah. Those things
are rat ladders.

686
00:34:50,920 --> 00:34:52,081
<i>Please stop that.</i>

687
00:34:52,160 --> 00:34:54,925
<i>There's a very sick man in
here who's trying to rest.</i>

688
00:34:55,080 --> 00:34:58,562
I'm sorry, lady! We're
looking for Fanny Felcher!

689
00:34:59,640 --> 00:35:00,846
The one with the kidneys.

690
00:35:00,920 --> 00:35:02,046
Is she there?

691
00:35:02,280 --> 00:35:04,601
There is no one here
by that horrible name.

692
00:35:04,880 --> 00:35:06,041
Now go away.

693
00:35:06,120 --> 00:35:08,771
Is this 6765
Elmwood Avenue,

694
00:35:08,840 --> 00:35:10,604
Cranston,
Rhode Island?

695
00:35:11,400 --> 00:35:12,811
You're in Maryland.

696
00:35:13,160 --> 00:35:14,650
The side with the stamp!

697
00:35:14,800 --> 00:35:17,770
I mean, uh,
is this 1111 Foothill Road?

698
00:35:17,840 --> 00:35:18,966
<i>That's right.</i>

699
00:35:19,040 --> 00:35:20,246
But there are
no Felchers here.

700
00:35:20,320 --> 00:35:22,004
This is the Pinchelow
residence.

701
00:35:22,160 --> 00:35:24,242
Wait a second.
My friend Harry here

702
00:35:24,400 --> 00:35:26,880
gave his daughter up for
adoption 20-something years ago

703
00:35:27,040 --> 00:35:29,042
and we were told this
is where she lives.

704
00:35:29,120 --> 00:35:30,246
It's kind of a medical

705
00:35:30,680 --> 00:35:31,806
<i>emergency
that we find her.</i>

706
00:35:31,880 --> 00:35:33,723
<i>As long as she
doesn't have AIDS.</i>

707
00:35:33,800 --> 00:35:35,325
<i>Adele, darling,
whoever they are,</i>

708
00:35:35,400 --> 00:35:36,811
<i>they must be
talking about Penny!</i>

709
00:35:36,880 --> 00:35:38,120
<i>She was adopted.</i>

710
00:35:38,520 --> 00:35:40,682
<i>I'll see them.
Let them in.</i>

711
00:35:42,760 --> 00:35:44,205
What the hell was that?

712
00:35:44,840 --> 00:35:46,842
That's exactly the kind of
random crap we don't need!

713
00:35:46,920 --> 00:35:48,046
Relax.

714
00:35:52,440 --> 00:35:54,124
Would you like some
hot tea with lemon?

715
00:35:54,520 --> 00:35:57,000
Oh, no. I can see
why you might think that.

716
00:35:57,280 --> 00:35:59,044
Two gentlemen
traveling together.

717
00:35:59,120 --> 00:36:00,281
But we're straight.

718
00:36:02,160 --> 00:36:03,525
I must tell you, Harry,

719
00:36:04,400 --> 00:36:06,243
this is an unexpected treat.

720
00:36:06,840 --> 00:36:08,046
Yeah! Me, too.

721
00:36:08,520 --> 00:36:12,320
You know, I always wondered what
Penny's natural father was like.

722
00:36:12,680 --> 00:36:14,205
When my late wife
and I adopted her,

723
00:36:14,280 --> 00:36:16,561
we weren't given much information
about her birth parents.

724
00:36:16,680 --> 00:36:20,082
We were only told
that her mother was single
and that she was...

725
00:36:22,000 --> 00:36:23,411
You can say it, dear.

726
00:36:23,880 --> 00:36:25,882
She was rumored
to be a titanic whore.

727
00:36:26,040 --> 00:36:29,362
That's a lie! Fraida never
stepped foot on the Titanic!

728
00:36:29,720 --> 00:36:31,722
They must be talking about the
time she did the night crew

729
00:36:31,800 --> 00:36:33,484
on the Block Island Ferry.

730
00:36:34,640 --> 00:36:35,687
That's good!

731
00:36:36,920 --> 00:36:38,922
So, is Penny here?

732
00:36:39,080 --> 00:36:40,241
Unfortunately, no.

733
00:36:40,320 --> 00:36:41,845
She flew out
this morning to El Paso.

734
00:36:42,000 --> 00:36:43,684
She's going to
the KEN Conference.

735
00:36:43,800 --> 00:36:46,121
What? Who's this Ken guy?

736
00:36:46,200 --> 00:36:47,361
No. No.

737
00:36:48,080 --> 00:36:50,242
The KEN Conference
is a symposium

738
00:36:50,400 --> 00:36:51,731
where the year's
newest technologies,

739
00:36:51,800 --> 00:36:53,131
creative concepts
and ideas

740
00:36:53,200 --> 00:36:54,929
are introduced
and discussed.

741
00:36:55,200 --> 00:36:56,406
Wow.

742
00:36:56,480 --> 00:36:59,450
That's the single
most boring sentence
I ever heard.

743
00:36:59,560 --> 00:37:02,166
Adele, what do you say
we call Penny right now

744
00:37:02,280 --> 00:37:04,647
with the news that her biological
father is looking for her?

745
00:37:04,760 --> 00:37:06,171
She'll be so excited.

746
00:37:06,920 --> 00:37:10,049
She might not be as excited
as you think, Doc.

747
00:37:10,160 --> 00:37:12,288
When her mother tried to
get in touch with her,

748
00:37:12,440 --> 00:37:14,363
she sent this
letter right back.

749
00:37:16,320 --> 00:37:17,321
Mmm.

750
00:37:17,680 --> 00:37:19,045
That's interesting.

751
00:37:19,320 --> 00:37:20,685
What's that, dear?

752
00:37:21,120 --> 00:37:22,531
Uh, nothing.

753
00:37:22,600 --> 00:37:24,011
She just, uh,
never mentioned it.

754
00:37:25,320 --> 00:37:26,680
But that was
a couple of years ago.

755
00:37:26,720 --> 00:37:29,121
I'm sure she'll appreciate
all the trouble you've gone to

756
00:37:29,200 --> 00:37:31,248
to find her.
Let's call her.

757
00:37:36,840 --> 00:37:38,444
It's ringing!

758
00:37:44,320 --> 00:37:45,367
Whoever this is,

759
00:37:45,440 --> 00:37:46,930
we're in the middle of
something really important.

760
00:37:47,080 --> 00:37:48,241
Can you call back later?

761
00:37:48,320 --> 00:37:49,731
No, I can't
call back later.

762
00:37:49,800 --> 00:37:52,400
I have something to
tell you that might freak
you out a little bit,

763
00:37:53,880 --> 00:37:55,291
but this is your dad.

764
00:37:55,760 --> 00:37:57,489
What? Hold on.

765
00:37:57,920 --> 00:38:00,844
Hey, guys, I know
this is weird timing,
but I gotta take this.

766
00:38:00,920 --> 00:38:02,081
It's my dead dad.

767
00:38:02,160 --> 00:38:03,400
She's got me on hold.

768
00:38:04,880 --> 00:38:06,882
Dad, what did you do with
all those Penthouses?

769
00:38:06,960 --> 00:38:08,007
Did you throw them out?

770
00:38:08,120 --> 00:38:09,770
No, they're under
my mattress. Why?

771
00:38:09,920 --> 00:38:12,082
You idiot,
that is Penny's phone!

772
00:38:12,200 --> 00:38:13,201
Oh.

773
00:38:13,280 --> 00:38:14,850
Oh, no. No.

774
00:38:14,920 --> 00:38:16,843
No! This is awful!

775
00:38:17,160 --> 00:38:18,571
She forgot the package!

776
00:38:18,640 --> 00:38:20,483
What are you doing?
You shouldn't be up!

777
00:38:21,000 --> 00:38:22,729
Just relax. We can
overnight it to her.

778
00:38:22,800 --> 00:38:24,484
No! No. We can't.

779
00:38:24,640 --> 00:38:27,211
The culmination of my
life's work is in this box.

780
00:38:27,360 --> 00:38:28,885
It's much too
valuable to ship.

781
00:38:29,560 --> 00:38:31,289
I thought you
said it was just a gift.

782
00:38:31,560 --> 00:38:33,403
Oh, it is.

783
00:38:33,480 --> 00:38:35,482
A gift to all humanity.

784
00:38:36,480 --> 00:38:38,289
I wanted it to be
a surprise, Adele.

785
00:38:38,360 --> 00:38:40,601
That's why I was unveiling
it at the KEN Conference.

786
00:38:40,680 --> 00:38:41,761
Wow.

787
00:38:41,880 --> 00:38:43,880
Something like that's gotta
be worth millions, huh?

788
00:38:44,120 --> 00:38:46,487
Try billions.
Billions?

789
00:38:46,600 --> 00:38:49,171
Oh, yes.
But I won't get a dime.

790
00:38:49,440 --> 00:38:51,761
It would be morally wrong
to profit from this.

791
00:38:52,240 --> 00:38:53,241
Huh?

792
00:38:53,560 --> 00:38:56,131
This box contains one
of the most important

793
00:38:56,200 --> 00:38:58,043
discoveries in
human history

794
00:38:58,120 --> 00:39:01,090
and all mankind deserves
free access to it

795
00:39:01,160 --> 00:39:03,766
and that is why
I have relinquished

796
00:39:04,000 --> 00:39:05,923
all proprietary rights.

797
00:39:06,680 --> 00:39:08,091
Wait, when did
you do that?

798
00:39:08,160 --> 00:39:09,650
It's all in the speech

799
00:39:09,720 --> 00:39:12,200
that Penny's going to read
at the award ceremony.

800
00:39:12,880 --> 00:39:14,803
Oh, my God,
that's so nice!

801
00:39:17,680 --> 00:39:19,842
What in God's name?

802
00:39:20,040 --> 00:39:22,691
You guys sounded busy,
so we built a couch-fort.

803
00:39:23,560 --> 00:39:25,005
You wanna come in,
Dr. P?

804
00:39:25,160 --> 00:39:26,605
Sorry, no girls allowed.

805
00:39:27,240 --> 00:39:28,890
Boys rule, girls drool.

806
00:39:31,240 --> 00:39:32,480
Wait a minute.

807
00:39:32,920 --> 00:39:34,490
I have an idea.

808
00:39:35,000 --> 00:39:36,889
Why don't we have
Harry and Lloyd

809
00:39:36,960 --> 00:39:38,803
hand-deliver the box to Penny?

810
00:39:38,880 --> 00:39:41,850
That way Harry will get to
meet his daughter in person

811
00:39:41,920 --> 00:39:44,241
and you'll be assured
the box gets there safely.

812
00:39:47,200 --> 00:39:48,611
Are you insane?

813
00:39:48,760 --> 00:39:52,242
You think I'm just going
to hand over my invention
to these 10-year-olds?

814
00:39:52,320 --> 00:39:53,970
Oh, don't you worry. We'll
have Travis go with them.

815
00:39:54,160 --> 00:39:55,764
He won't let anything
happen to the box.

816
00:39:55,920 --> 00:39:57,684
And he will lead
them straight to Penny.

817
00:39:58,280 --> 00:39:59,520
You can
count on us, sir.

818
00:39:59,920 --> 00:40:01,285
Our word is our bond.

819
00:40:03,000 --> 00:40:04,604
James Bond.

820
00:40:10,080 --> 00:40:12,686
I'm going with them?
Why the hell did
you tell him that?

821
00:40:12,840 --> 00:40:15,002
Do you not realize what
just fell into our laps?

822
00:40:15,160 --> 00:40:18,209
Our five million just
turned into a billion.

823
00:40:18,360 --> 00:40:19,521
What's wrong
with this thing?

824
00:40:19,680 --> 00:40:21,560
Yeah, but he said he was
gonna give it all away.

825
00:40:21,680 --> 00:40:24,650
Not if we get to Penny before
she reads that speech.

826
00:40:37,720 --> 00:40:38,801
Hey,

827
00:40:39,280 --> 00:40:41,203
when is this
KEN thing, anyway?

828
00:40:41,280 --> 00:40:42,611
It actually starts today,

829
00:40:42,760 --> 00:40:44,842
but Penny doesn't give her speech
until the night of May 2nd.

830
00:40:44,960 --> 00:40:46,610
So that gives us...

831
00:40:46,880 --> 00:40:48,120
How many days
are in April?

832
00:40:48,280 --> 00:40:49,964
"Thirty days
have September,

833
00:40:50,040 --> 00:40:51,804
"all the rest
I can't remember."

834
00:40:52,080 --> 00:40:54,401
Must be 31 because
nothing rhymes with August.

835
00:40:54,560 --> 00:40:56,050
No,
I think it's 32, Har.

836
00:40:56,360 --> 00:40:57,600
April's a leap month.

837
00:40:57,760 --> 00:40:59,683
31.
32.

838
00:40:59,760 --> 00:41:00,841
31.
32.

839
00:41:00,920 --> 00:41:03,082
31.31,1,1,1!
2,2,2!

840
00:41:03,160 --> 00:41:04,605
30! There's 30!

841
00:41:04,720 --> 00:41:05,801
Thank you!

842
00:41:06,720 --> 00:41:07,801
You said 31.

843
00:41:07,880 --> 00:41:09,405
Yeah, but I was closer.

844
00:41:09,760 --> 00:41:11,410
Hey, guys,
where's the box?

845
00:41:11,800 --> 00:41:12,926
What box?

846
00:41:13,800 --> 00:41:15,723
The box with the billion-dollar
invention in it.

847
00:41:17,640 --> 00:41:19,165
Lloyd, what did you
do with the box?

848
00:41:19,320 --> 00:41:21,163
Me? You had it.

849
00:41:21,240 --> 00:41:23,288
No, remember we stopped
at that truck stop

850
00:41:23,400 --> 00:41:24,920
and we were kicking
field goals with it

851
00:41:25,000 --> 00:41:26,331
- out in that parking lot?
- Yeah.

852
00:41:26,400 --> 00:41:28,641
I remember I kicked one
over the telephone wires,
and you said...

853
00:41:28,720 --> 00:41:31,087
You know what,
you're right.
I did have it.

854
00:41:36,000 --> 00:41:37,411
Look at that!

855
00:41:37,760 --> 00:41:39,842
I just saved humanity!

856
00:41:40,480 --> 00:41:42,448
You know what? Maybe I
should hold on to that box.

857
00:41:42,640 --> 00:41:44,529
I don't think so, mister.

858
00:41:44,600 --> 00:41:46,329
Dr. P encrusted that to me.

859
00:41:46,520 --> 00:41:48,960
And I'm gonna make sure
it gets to my daughter,
safe and sound.

860
00:41:49,360 --> 00:41:52,011
Yeah, well, you're doing
a great job so far.

861
00:41:52,440 --> 00:41:54,090
You guys wanna play
"He Who Smelt it"?

862
00:41:54,160 --> 00:41:55,321
Yeah.

863
00:41:55,600 --> 00:41:56,681
What's that?

864
00:41:56,760 --> 00:41:58,922
It's complicated,
so pay attention.

865
00:41:59,000 --> 00:42:02,607
We put the windows up,
first one who smells
a fart gets a point.

866
00:42:02,760 --> 00:42:04,330
If you say who dealt it,

867
00:42:04,480 --> 00:42:05,641
double points.

868
00:42:05,760 --> 00:42:07,125
But if you say
you smelled a fart

869
00:42:07,200 --> 00:42:08,201
and nobody farted,

870
00:42:08,280 --> 00:42:09,406
like if we were just passing
a slaughterhouse...

871
00:42:09,480 --> 00:42:10,561
False fart!

872
00:42:10,640 --> 00:42:13,450
...you lose a point.
And you can't smell
your own farts, either.

873
00:42:14,160 --> 00:42:16,288
Are you guys kidding?
No! No!

874
00:42:16,440 --> 00:42:19,410
I'm not gonna sit around
sniffing your farts like
some kinda truffle pig.

875
00:42:19,480 --> 00:42:20,527
Forget it!

876
00:42:20,640 --> 00:42:22,483
Okay, fine. Lloyd and I
will play one-on-one.

877
00:42:22,640 --> 00:42:23,687
Yeah, head-to-head.

878
00:42:23,760 --> 00:42:25,364
How can you
play one-on-one?

879
00:42:25,720 --> 00:42:27,051
If you smell a fart,
and you didn't do it,

880
00:42:27,120 --> 00:42:28,804
isn't it obvious
the other guy did?

881
00:42:31,400 --> 00:42:33,129
I thought you said
you never played before.

882
00:42:33,320 --> 00:42:35,368
Yeah. Sounds like
he wrote the rulebook.

883
00:42:35,880 --> 00:42:37,405
I think we might have
a hustler here, Har.

884
00:42:37,480 --> 00:42:38,481
Uh-huh.

885
00:42:46,160 --> 00:42:47,321
What are you doing?

886
00:42:48,920 --> 00:42:50,046
I forgot.

887
00:42:50,320 --> 00:42:51,651
Uh, you know what?
I'm going to make a rule.

888
00:42:51,880 --> 00:42:54,201
There will be no fart games
while I'm in the car, got it?

889
00:42:54,320 --> 00:42:55,367
Wow.

890
00:42:55,480 --> 00:42:56,891
Who made you
king of the car?

891
00:42:58,000 --> 00:42:59,240
I know how to settle this.

892
00:42:59,400 --> 00:43:01,368
I'm thinking of a number
between one and three.

893
00:43:01,480 --> 00:43:03,164
Whoever guesses it
gets to be king of the car.

894
00:43:03,240 --> 00:43:04,366
One!
No.

895
00:43:04,480 --> 00:43:05,845
Three?
Nope.

896
00:43:07,520 --> 00:43:08,681
Okay, what is it?

897
00:43:10,160 --> 00:43:11,160
Two.

898
00:43:11,240 --> 00:43:13,527
I swear
I was gonna say that!

899
00:43:14,520 --> 00:43:17,046
All right, so it's agreed,
I'm king of the car, right?

900
00:43:17,680 --> 00:43:18,806
Fine.

901
00:43:18,880 --> 00:43:19,927
Excuse me,
Your Highness,

902
00:43:20,000 --> 00:43:22,401
would you grab me
a Slim Jim
out of the back?

903
00:43:23,000 --> 00:43:24,206
One of the long ones.

904
00:43:25,000 --> 00:43:26,764
Yeah.

905
00:43:29,520 --> 00:43:30,851
Oh, hey,
what the hell?

906
00:43:33,040 --> 00:43:34,405
On, God! Hey!

907
00:43:34,520 --> 00:43:36,045
No! Hey!

908
00:43:39,520 --> 00:43:41,204
What is that?
Oh, God!

909
00:43:43,640 --> 00:43:44,880
Look, Harry.

910
00:43:45,040 --> 00:43:46,405
He's hooked on crack.

911
00:43:48,640 --> 00:43:51,246
For the love of God,
have mercy!

912
00:43:51,800 --> 00:43:53,962
<i>Hello, you've
reached Herbert Felcher</i>

913
00:43:54,040 --> 00:43:56,122
<i>at Felcher and Felcher
Funeral Parlor.</i>

914
00:43:56,320 --> 00:43:58,163
<i>Please leave a
message at the beep.</i>

915
00:43:58,280 --> 00:44:01,250
Hi! This is a private
message for Fraida Felcher.

916
00:44:01,320 --> 00:44:03,641
Would you please tell
Fraida that Harry called?

917
00:44:03,720 --> 00:44:04,926
Harry Dunne.

918
00:44:05,240 --> 00:44:07,891
The guy who knocked her up
20-something years ago.

919
00:44:08,160 --> 00:44:11,323
Um, pleasure finally
meeting you all,
by the way.

920
00:44:12,080 --> 00:44:15,846
Anyway, would you tell her that
I've located our daughter.

921
00:44:17,000 --> 00:44:20,083
She's at a thing called the
KEN Conference in El Paso.

922
00:44:20,920 --> 00:44:22,922
The town named
after the bean dip.

923
00:44:51,320 --> 00:44:52,970
Oh, that's sweet!

924
00:44:55,120 --> 00:44:56,201
Bye, Grandma!

925
00:44:56,280 --> 00:44:57,680
Have fun, sweetie.

926
00:45:01,200 --> 00:45:02,440
Now,
there's a real man.

927
00:45:02,960 --> 00:45:05,201
I bet you he don't
pee sitting down.

928
00:45:22,680 --> 00:45:24,409
Don't touch that joystick!

929
00:45:29,520 --> 00:45:30,965
Wow, look!

930
00:45:34,640 --> 00:45:35,801
Let my people

931
00:45:36,320 --> 00:45:37,401
go!

932
00:45:37,480 --> 00:45:38,561
Harry!

933
00:45:42,240 --> 00:45:44,720
It hurts, Lloyd.
It hurts so bad.

934
00:45:44,880 --> 00:45:47,804
Which one hurts, Harry?
This one? Or this one?

935
00:45:47,880 --> 00:45:50,770
Stop it! Lloyd, please,

936
00:45:51,040 --> 00:45:52,246
save my daughter.

937
00:45:52,320 --> 00:45:53,526
And then

938
00:45:53,760 --> 00:45:56,730
I want you to bone her
like a chicken cutlet.

939
00:45:56,840 --> 00:45:58,080
You hear me, mister?

940
00:46:12,640 --> 00:46:13,641
Huh?

941
00:46:38,360 --> 00:46:39,885
Looking for these?

942
00:47:15,080 --> 00:47:16,445
Oh!

943
00:47:18,760 --> 00:47:20,171
What are you doing?

944
00:47:21,240 --> 00:47:22,810
Oh. Uh...

945
00:47:25,520 --> 00:47:26,760
She's all clean, sir.

946
00:47:27,360 --> 00:47:28,771
You're good to go.

947
00:47:29,320 --> 00:47:30,606
Nutcase.

948
00:47:33,200 --> 00:47:34,611
Hey, guys.

949
00:47:40,080 --> 00:47:41,969
Let's call
a truce, huh?

950
00:47:42,280 --> 00:47:43,770
I think we got off
on the wrong foot.

951
00:47:44,120 --> 00:47:46,600
I don't wanna argue with you guys
all the way down to El Paso.

952
00:47:47,040 --> 00:47:48,849
So what do you say?
Peace?

953
00:47:50,560 --> 00:47:52,449
Come on, bring it in!

954
00:47:53,160 --> 00:47:54,924
Yeah, why not?

955
00:47:56,960 --> 00:47:58,007
Hmm.

956
00:47:58,080 --> 00:47:59,127
Okay-

957
00:47:59,240 --> 00:48:02,164
Hey, all right. All right,
that's good. Mmm...

958
00:48:02,480 --> 00:48:04,084
All right, all right, all right.
Aw.

959
00:48:04,520 --> 00:48:06,488
Hey! Have you guys
ever played "Funnel Nuts"?

960
00:48:06,800 --> 00:48:07,847
What?

961
00:48:07,960 --> 00:48:10,167
Oh, come on. You guys have
had to play Funnel Nuts.

962
00:48:10,480 --> 00:48:12,130
This is the best game
ever invented.

963
00:48:12,320 --> 00:48:13,367
Check it out,
you take the funnel,

964
00:48:13,480 --> 00:48:15,005
you put it in the front of
your pants like that, right?

965
00:48:15,440 --> 00:48:18,842
Okay? Then you put a peanut
on your nose like this,

966
00:48:19,040 --> 00:48:20,530
and then when
you're ready...

967
00:48:21,280 --> 00:48:22,725
No way!

968
00:48:22,800 --> 00:48:24,040
You gotta be kidding!

969
00:48:24,320 --> 00:48:25,680
That's not right!

970
00:48:26,480 --> 00:48:28,528
The person who gets
the most nuts wins.

971
00:48:28,640 --> 00:48:29,846
Now, who's gonna
play me first?

972
00:48:30,320 --> 00:48:31,731
I'll do it. I got it.

973
00:48:32,200 --> 00:48:33,884
This is mine!
You always go first!

974
00:48:34,040 --> 00:48:35,166
I got it first!

975
00:48:35,280 --> 00:48:37,123
Guys, hold on,
all right? Look.

976
00:48:37,440 --> 00:48:39,840
You guys play each
other first, and then
I'll play the winner.

977
00:48:40,800 --> 00:48:41,881
All right.

978
00:48:42,160 --> 00:48:44,288
All right.
Here you go.

979
00:48:45,160 --> 00:48:46,491
Take your time.
It takes time.

980
00:48:46,560 --> 00:48:47,846
Get a good balance
on that.

981
00:48:48,000 --> 00:48:49,126
Okay.
Look way up high.

982
00:48:50,000 --> 00:48:52,685
Good. Okay,
keep looking at the sky.
When you're ready.

983
00:48:52,800 --> 00:48:54,529
Now don't drop it
until you're ready, guys.

984
00:48:54,640 --> 00:48:55,801
I got it!

985
00:48:57,840 --> 00:48:58,966
That's weird.
Ooh!

986
00:48:59,040 --> 00:49:01,691
The smell of peanuts makes
my weenie cold.
Ooh!

987
00:49:02,800 --> 00:49:03,847
It shrank mine.

988
00:49:05,440 --> 00:49:06,441
Oh!

989
00:49:06,680 --> 00:49:07,886
Hey!

990
00:49:10,320 --> 00:49:13,244
Do you believe that?
Did you see what he did?

991
00:49:14,240 --> 00:49:15,844
It's on!

992
00:49:16,840 --> 00:49:17,921
Oh, yeah.

993
00:49:18,040 --> 00:49:19,371
He's going down!

994
00:49:20,040 --> 00:49:22,611
Right after we finish
playing Funnel Nuts.

995
00:49:34,880 --> 00:49:36,723
Shh. Don't wake him up!
I know.

996
00:49:40,680 --> 00:49:41,920
How many did you
put in there?

997
00:49:42,120 --> 00:49:44,122
Just enough to get
a rise out of him.

998
00:50:01,280 --> 00:50:02,725
No! Oh, God!

999
00:50:03,600 --> 00:50:05,409
No! Oh, my God!

1000
00:50:16,760 --> 00:50:17,886
Oh, my God!

1001
00:50:19,280 --> 00:50:21,487
Wait, Lloyd. I think
he might be hurt.

1002
00:50:24,560 --> 00:50:27,450
Man, you okay?
It was just a goof.

1003
00:50:27,720 --> 00:50:30,451
Yeah. By the way,
we're even.

1004
00:50:31,440 --> 00:50:34,091
I want them dead, now!
Now! Do you hear me?

1005
00:50:34,600 --> 00:50:35,806
Calm down.

1006
00:50:35,960 --> 00:50:37,962
No! No, I can't
take it any longer!

1007
00:50:38,440 --> 00:50:39,965
If you don't
let me kill them now,

1008
00:50:40,040 --> 00:50:41,405
I am quitting,
and I mean it!

1009
00:50:41,600 --> 00:50:44,171
Okay. Give me
some time to think.

1010
00:50:44,320 --> 00:50:45,446
<i>I'll come up with a plan.</i>

1011
00:50:45,640 --> 00:50:48,644
Plan? You don't need a plan!
These guys are morons!

1012
00:50:48,800 --> 00:50:51,246
Besides, I told you,
my brother's in Special Ops.

1013
00:50:51,440 --> 00:50:52,771
I know how to
get stuff done!

1014
00:50:53,480 --> 00:50:56,848
All right.
But make sure nobody
knows they paid us a visit.

1015
00:50:57,000 --> 00:50:58,684
<i>I don't want this
coming back to us.</i>

1016
00:50:58,840 --> 00:51:00,330
God, shut up!

1017
00:51:08,840 --> 00:51:10,285
I wonder what's
in this sucker.

1018
00:51:11,480 --> 00:51:13,005
Whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa!

1019
00:51:13,440 --> 00:51:15,329
That thing is worth
a fortune! Be careful!

1020
00:51:15,440 --> 00:51:16,851
Give it to me.

1021
00:51:17,320 --> 00:51:19,607
It would be nice to know
what's in it, though.

1022
00:51:19,800 --> 00:51:21,928
I've been racking
my sack about that.

1023
00:51:22,000 --> 00:51:23,206
I have a theory.

1024
00:51:23,520 --> 00:51:24,681
Oh, yeah?

1025
00:51:24,800 --> 00:51:27,326
He said it was something
that would help everybody
in the world, right?

1026
00:51:27,520 --> 00:51:28,646
Yeah.

1027
00:51:28,720 --> 00:51:31,121
I think it might be
a baked potato.

1028
00:51:32,320 --> 00:51:34,527
How does a baked potato
help everybody in the world?

1029
00:51:35,840 --> 00:51:38,002
That's the only part
I haven't figured out yet.

1030
00:51:39,000 --> 00:51:40,411
You'll get it, Lloyd.

1031
00:51:40,520 --> 00:51:43,808
We should pick up some sour
cream and chives, just in case.

1032
00:51:44,880 --> 00:51:46,400
Do you guys have any
idea where we are?

1033
00:51:46,560 --> 00:51:47,561
Not really.

1034
00:51:47,640 --> 00:51:50,166
You're the one who told
us to take the shortcut
off the highway.

1035
00:51:50,240 --> 00:51:53,050
Yeah. It's like you wanted to get
us alone, so you could kill us

1036
00:51:53,160 --> 00:51:54,924
and take
the billion-dollar box.

1037
00:51:55,040 --> 00:51:56,849
But what would
be the motive?

1038
00:51:57,320 --> 00:51:58,367
Yeah.

1039
00:51:59,360 --> 00:52:00,407
Yeah.

1040
00:52:01,360 --> 00:52:02,930
I better get a map
out of the bag, huh?

1041
00:52:03,040 --> 00:52:04,724
Sure.
Okay.

1042
00:52:06,480 --> 00:52:09,290
So, guys, who else is
helping you look for your daughter?

1043
00:52:09,360 --> 00:52:10,520
- No one.
Mmm-hmm.

1044
00:52:10,560 --> 00:52:11,561
Nobody?

1045
00:52:11,680 --> 00:52:14,047
Not even some friends
to lend a hand?
Mmm-mmm.

1046
00:52:14,400 --> 00:52:15,765
Nope, just us.

1047
00:52:15,880 --> 00:52:17,723
- What about your wives?
- Wives?

1048
00:52:17,840 --> 00:52:19,490
How stupid do we look?

1049
00:52:21,040 --> 00:52:22,201
Harry?

1050
00:52:22,280 --> 00:52:23,725
Easy.

1051
00:52:28,040 --> 00:52:30,168
Close one.
Any girlfriends?

1052
00:52:30,240 --> 00:52:31,571
Been there, done that.

1053
00:52:32,040 --> 00:52:34,805
See, we don't want to be tied
down by anything or anyone.

1054
00:52:34,920 --> 00:52:36,604
We don't even have
social security cards.

1055
00:52:36,720 --> 00:52:38,722
We sold them for 30 bucks
to two Brazilian guys.

1056
00:52:39,240 --> 00:52:40,765
And the good thing
about having no identity

1057
00:52:40,880 --> 00:52:43,326
is that you never have to
worry about identity theft.

1058
00:52:43,400 --> 00:52:45,562
He can't even be
identified by his teeth

1059
00:52:45,800 --> 00:52:47,564
because he's never
even been to a dentist.

1060
00:52:47,960 --> 00:52:50,201
And I've never
joined anything. Ever.

1061
00:52:50,760 --> 00:52:52,285
That's how you
keep a low-pro.

1062
00:52:52,400 --> 00:52:55,244
Yep, there's no actual
proof that we even exist.

1063
00:52:55,920 --> 00:52:58,241
If we died,
no one would
even miss us.

1064
00:52:58,600 --> 00:53:00,728
We are truly blessed.

1065
00:53:16,280 --> 00:53:18,248
What the hell
happened, Harry?

1066
00:53:18,760 --> 00:53:19,966
What?

1067
00:53:20,240 --> 00:53:22,527
What the hell happened?

1068
00:53:22,600 --> 00:53:25,285
- Whoo!
- I can't hear you!

1069
00:53:25,480 --> 00:53:26,891
So long, boys.

1070
00:53:41,960 --> 00:53:45,203
We may have been involved in
an alien abduction, Harry.

1071
00:53:45,480 --> 00:53:46,891
Is your butt okay?

1072
00:53:49,440 --> 00:53:50,646
Harry!

1073
00:53:50,800 --> 00:53:52,211
Holy crap!

1074
00:53:52,280 --> 00:53:53,770
He took off on us!

1075
00:53:54,160 --> 00:53:55,321
What?

1076
00:53:55,640 --> 00:53:59,008
He took off on us.

1077
00:53:59,880 --> 00:54:01,120
What?

1078
00:54:02,280 --> 00:54:05,124
I can't believe that
douchebag stole our hearse.

1079
00:54:05,800 --> 00:54:07,962
I hope something really
bad happens to him.

1080
00:54:08,120 --> 00:54:10,726
No, but I tried
ostrich once.

1081
00:54:11,320 --> 00:54:13,527
Harry, holy cow.

1082
00:54:13,880 --> 00:54:15,291
I'm worried about you.

1083
00:54:15,360 --> 00:54:16,805
You're as deaf as a bat.

1084
00:54:17,280 --> 00:54:19,886
That's not exactly
how it happened, Lloyd.

1085
00:54:20,040 --> 00:54:22,805
Your mother got
into bed with me.

1086
00:54:24,720 --> 00:54:27,200
That's it.
We're getting
you hearing aids.

1087
00:54:31,160 --> 00:54:32,525
May I help you?

1088
00:54:33,520 --> 00:54:34,521
Um...

1089
00:54:34,840 --> 00:54:37,923
My friend here would like to
visit his sweet ol' grandma.

1090
00:54:38,640 --> 00:54:39,687
What's the name?

1091
00:54:39,880 --> 00:54:41,041
I'll give you a hint.

1092
00:54:41,560 --> 00:54:43,881
She's the one with
the biggest hearing aids.

1093
00:54:48,760 --> 00:54:51,491
Ms. Snergle,
your grandson
and his friend are here.

1094
00:54:54,360 --> 00:54:55,521
This is stupid, Lloyd!

1095
00:54:55,600 --> 00:54:57,682
I'm not gonna steal
an old lady's hearing aid!

1096
00:54:58,880 --> 00:55:00,086
Relax!

1097
00:55:00,240 --> 00:55:04,404
We're just looking
for a backup pair.

1098
00:55:04,920 --> 00:55:06,922
There's gotta be
some around here.

1099
00:55:11,840 --> 00:55:13,080
Mikey?

1100
00:55:14,240 --> 00:55:15,571
Yeah, Gran.

1101
00:55:15,720 --> 00:55:16,801
It's Mikey.

1102
00:55:16,880 --> 00:55:19,087
Oh, thank
God you're here.

1103
00:55:19,400 --> 00:55:21,209
I've got the diamonds.

1104
00:55:22,040 --> 00:55:23,405
Did she say diamonds?

1105
00:55:25,720 --> 00:55:28,246
Go ahead, Granny.
Mikey's listening.

1106
00:55:28,400 --> 00:55:31,563
I want you to take all the
diamonds with you when you go.

1107
00:55:31,760 --> 00:55:34,764
I've been hiding them
from those thieving lawyers.

1108
00:55:34,920 --> 00:55:36,081
That's good.

1109
00:55:36,240 --> 00:55:37,924
Granny did a good thing!

1110
00:55:38,080 --> 00:55:40,208
So, where are the rocks?

1111
00:55:40,440 --> 00:55:42,044
They're underneath me.

1112
00:55:42,120 --> 00:55:43,246
You mean,
under the bed?

1113
00:55:43,400 --> 00:55:45,402
No, under the blanket.
Oh.

1114
00:55:51,040 --> 00:55:52,246
I'm not finding anything.

1115
00:55:52,400 --> 00:55:54,243
Go up more.

1116
00:55:55,720 --> 00:55:57,324
Up here?
Keep going.

1117
00:55:58,880 --> 00:56:00,484
Did you hide them
inside this turkey?

1118
00:56:00,800 --> 00:56:01,961
Yeah, right.

1119
00:56:02,200 --> 00:56:03,964
Wait.

1120
00:56:04,240 --> 00:56:05,605
There's no diamonds here!

1121
00:56:05,760 --> 00:56:08,331
And you're not
my grandson!

1122
00:56:08,800 --> 00:56:10,290
Harry, she's got me.

1123
00:56:10,920 --> 00:56:12,251
She's really clamping down!

1124
00:56:13,800 --> 00:56:15,211
Ahhh!

1125
00:56:17,240 --> 00:56:18,401
Lloyd?

1126
00:56:18,680 --> 00:56:20,762
I think that
was her gran-gina.

1127
00:56:20,840 --> 00:56:22,001
That's right!

1128
00:56:22,160 --> 00:56:25,130
So you can cross that one
off your bucket list!

1129
00:56:28,840 --> 00:56:31,969
Hey, Goldfinger!

1130
00:56:32,480 --> 00:56:34,244
Here.

1131
00:56:34,480 --> 00:56:36,482
You've earned them.

1132
00:56:45,520 --> 00:56:47,010
Are you serious?

1133
00:56:47,280 --> 00:56:48,964
Travis is dead?

1134
00:56:49,320 --> 00:56:50,367
<i>That's right.</i>

1135
00:56:50,480 --> 00:56:52,400
<i>The Kansas state police
informed me this morning.</i>

1136
00:56:52,480 --> 00:56:54,164
<i>I thought
you'd want to know.</i>

1137
00:56:55,320 --> 00:56:57,846
Thank you,
Captain Lippincott.

1138
00:56:58,200 --> 00:57:01,363
I know it's never easy to
relay this kind of sad news.

1139
00:57:01,720 --> 00:57:03,768
But I want you to know
that your brother, Travis,

1140
00:57:03,840 --> 00:57:05,683
was more than just
a handyman to us.

1141
00:57:05,840 --> 00:57:07,001
He was

1142
00:57:07,680 --> 00:57:08,966
family.

1143
00:57:09,520 --> 00:57:10,646
<i>Really?</i>

1144
00:57:11,120 --> 00:57:14,363
<i>Do you suck the toe jam
off Mommy and Daddy, too?</i>

1145
00:57:15,480 --> 00:57:17,642
Um, I beg your pardon?

1146
00:57:18,360 --> 00:57:20,089
My brother
told me everything.

1147
00:57:23,800 --> 00:57:25,320
I don't know what
you're talking about.

1148
00:57:25,400 --> 00:57:27,767
Look, lady, I know you're
terminating your husband.

1149
00:57:27,880 --> 00:57:29,928
I'm the one who supplied
you with the untraceables.

1150
00:57:30,240 --> 00:57:31,810
Remember? I also know

1151
00:57:31,880 --> 00:57:34,531
that my brother was supposed
to eliminate those two idiots,

1152
00:57:34,880 --> 00:57:37,008
but somehow they
turned the tables on him.

1153
00:57:38,160 --> 00:57:39,366
Relax.

1154
00:57:39,560 --> 00:57:40,891
I'm not here
to turn you in.

1155
00:57:41,760 --> 00:57:43,171
I'm here to
help you out.

1156
00:57:48,520 --> 00:57:49,760
So how are those
things working?

1157
00:57:49,880 --> 00:57:51,689
Not bad.
I can hear you a little.

1158
00:57:51,840 --> 00:57:53,046
Here, let me
turn them up.

1159
00:57:56,880 --> 00:57:58,928
Honey, would you
like some pancakes?

1160
00:57:59,560 --> 00:58:00,891
Yeah, I'd love
some pancakes.

1161
00:58:01,080 --> 00:58:02,127
What?

1162
00:58:03,440 --> 00:58:05,568
Stop yelling!
I'm not yelling.

1163
00:58:05,840 --> 00:58:07,285
Why would you say
I'm yelling?

1164
00:58:07,440 --> 00:58:09,090
This is yelling!

1165
00:58:12,400 --> 00:58:13,606
Harry!

1166
00:58:15,560 --> 00:58:17,801
I think I might have
turned them up too high!

1167
00:58:19,240 --> 00:58:21,811
Oh, look!
Barbara Hershey Highway.

1168
00:58:23,800 --> 00:58:24,961
Wait a minute.

1169
00:58:25,920 --> 00:58:27,968
I think I know
where we are.

1170
00:58:28,280 --> 00:58:29,611
Follow me.

1171
00:58:37,080 --> 00:58:38,809
Are you sure
about this, Lloyd?

1172
00:58:38,960 --> 00:58:42,760
Positive. The kid
worked at the hockey rink
just past the museum.

1173
00:58:44,600 --> 00:58:45,806
Come on, Harry!

1174
00:58:47,440 --> 00:58:49,329
He drove a Zamboni!

1175
00:58:58,120 --> 00:59:01,249
Oh, my God.
I never thought
I'd see her again.

1176
00:59:01,960 --> 00:59:03,849
I don't know if
I told you this, Har,

1177
00:59:04,440 --> 00:59:07,000
but that kid kinda porked me when
I traded him for the mini bike.

1178
00:59:07,640 --> 00:59:10,120
And he only gave me
a quarter-tank of gas.

1179
00:59:12,680 --> 00:59:14,489
Are you thinking
what I'm thinking?

1180
00:59:40,480 --> 00:59:41,720
Yeah!

1181
00:59:58,720 --> 00:59:59,846
Bush club!

1182
00:59:59,880 --> 01:00:02,531
Bush club! Bush club!
Bush club!

1183
01:00:16,080 --> 01:00:17,650
I feel really good, Har.

1184
01:00:17,720 --> 01:00:18,846
Me, too!

1185
01:00:18,920 --> 01:00:20,365
Really good!

1186
01:00:20,720 --> 01:00:22,848
You might want to
step on it, Har!

1187
01:00:49,520 --> 01:00:51,090
Wow, look at
all the brains.

1188
01:00:51,240 --> 01:00:53,242
They're
blinding me with science!

1189
01:00:53,400 --> 01:00:55,760
Okay, Lloyd. I'm gonna find out
what time this thing starts.

1190
01:00:55,920 --> 01:00:57,126
You keep an eye
out for Penny.

1191
01:00:57,240 --> 01:00:58,401
Roger that.

1192
01:00:58,960 --> 01:01:01,770
Ladies and gentlemen,
this is an AMBER Alert.

1193
01:01:01,920 --> 01:01:05,811
Has anybody seen this
lovely, delicate angel?

1194
01:01:05,960 --> 01:01:08,406
Have you seen her?
Lovely and delicate.

1195
01:01:08,600 --> 01:01:10,284
This girl is slammin'.

1196
01:01:11,880 --> 01:01:13,370
Oh, yeah, sure,
I know her.

1197
01:01:13,480 --> 01:01:14,561
I got a hit.

1198
01:01:14,640 --> 01:01:15,687
It's, uh,
Penny Pinchelow.

1199
01:01:15,760 --> 01:01:16,960
I met her at
the bar yesterday.

1200
01:01:17,040 --> 01:01:18,160
What's that
supposed to mean?

1201
01:01:18,200 --> 01:01:19,929
Whoa! Easy, hoser!

1202
01:01:20,000 --> 01:01:21,047
We just hung out a little.

1203
01:01:21,600 --> 01:01:22,761
Oh.

1204
01:01:24,080 --> 01:01:25,840
Do you happen to know
where she is right now?

1205
01:01:26,160 --> 01:01:28,561
Yeah, my, uh, friends
just went to meet her
at her hotel room.

1206
01:01:28,720 --> 01:01:29,687
They're walking
her over here.

1207
01:01:29,760 --> 01:01:30,920
She's giving
a speech tonight.

1208
01:01:31,120 --> 01:01:32,201
When you see her,

1209
01:01:32,280 --> 01:01:34,442
tell her that Lloyd and her
dad are looking for her.

1210
01:01:34,600 --> 01:01:36,807
And get her to
call me on this.

1211
01:01:38,320 --> 01:01:39,446
There you are!

1212
01:01:41,000 --> 01:01:42,360
I've been looking
all over for you.

1213
01:01:42,920 --> 01:01:44,046
Cool!

1214
01:01:44,120 --> 01:01:45,963
I just ran into a Mexican
guy who knows Penny.

1215
01:01:46,040 --> 01:01:47,087
He said she's on her way!

1216
01:01:47,280 --> 01:01:48,611
Come on,
let's get in line.

1217
01:01:48,680 --> 01:01:50,170
Dressed like this?

1218
01:01:50,400 --> 01:01:52,767
Harry, people who come to
these things are smart.

1219
01:01:53,600 --> 01:01:55,807
We can't go in there looking
like a couple of goofballs.

1220
01:01:56,000 --> 01:01:58,401
Oh, yeah. Let's go buy
some smart stuff.

1221
01:02:17,040 --> 01:02:18,246
How's your day?

1222
01:02:18,920 --> 01:02:20,331
Living the dream.

1223
01:02:24,040 --> 01:02:27,840
Ooh, that mac and
cheese looks good!

1224
01:02:31,680 --> 01:02:34,968
Um, I think I'm gonna
need some chopsticks

1225
01:02:35,040 --> 01:02:37,850
or a really,
really skinny fork.

1226
01:02:38,160 --> 01:02:39,685
You got it.

1227
01:02:41,400 --> 01:02:42,606
It's open!

1228
01:02:42,920 --> 01:02:44,046
Hey, Penny!

1229
01:02:44,160 --> 01:02:46,288
Hey, Tom!
Hey, Gus!

1230
01:02:46,360 --> 01:02:48,522
Hey, uh,
Penny. Um...

1231
01:02:49,040 --> 01:02:50,320
What are you doing
in your undies

1232
01:02:50,360 --> 01:02:52,727
in front of the room
service guy here, eh?

1233
01:02:52,880 --> 01:02:53,961
You don't know him.

1234
01:02:54,080 --> 01:02:57,163
Oh, no. Someone told me
this great trick about
how not to get nervous

1235
01:02:57,240 --> 01:02:58,605
when you're
giving a speech.

1236
01:02:58,760 --> 01:03:01,047
All you do is imagine that
you're in your underwear.

1237
01:03:01,360 --> 01:03:03,522
So I've been practicing
all afternoon.

1238
01:03:03,680 --> 01:03:05,091
Will there be
anything else, ma'am?

1239
01:03:05,200 --> 01:03:07,089
Oh, no.
Just that skinny fork.

1240
01:03:07,520 --> 01:03:08,601
Right.

1241
01:03:08,960 --> 01:03:10,371
Okay. Burning daylight.

1242
01:03:10,440 --> 01:03:12,966
Yeah. Oh! Great news. Your dad
showed up for the conference.

1243
01:03:13,400 --> 01:03:15,607
What?
Yeah, Gordy just called us.

1244
01:03:15,720 --> 01:03:18,007
He ran into some guy named Lloyd
who was with your father.

1245
01:03:18,080 --> 01:03:20,731
They were looking for them out
front of the convention hall.

1246
01:03:25,960 --> 01:03:27,883
Oh, my goodness.

1247
01:03:28,400 --> 01:03:30,448
Are you absolutely certain?

1248
01:03:31,240 --> 01:03:32,765
And there's no way
you're mistaken?

1249
01:03:33,720 --> 01:03:35,802
All right, um, yes,
then I'll have someone

1250
01:03:35,880 --> 01:03:37,245
meet him at the
door in a hurry.

1251
01:03:37,320 --> 01:03:39,129
Yes, okay. Goodbye.

1252
01:03:39,240 --> 01:03:40,446
What is it?

1253
01:03:40,560 --> 01:03:42,164
Dr. Pinchelow is coming.

1254
01:03:42,240 --> 01:03:44,846
What? Are you certain?
I thought he was sick!

1255
01:03:44,920 --> 01:03:46,081
Apparently he's better.

1256
01:03:46,160 --> 01:03:47,605
I just spoke with his
daughter, Penny,
on the phone

1257
01:03:47,760 --> 01:03:49,125
and she's headed right
over here to meet him.

1258
01:03:49,240 --> 01:03:51,400
Oh, the man didn't even show
up for his Nobel ceremony.

1259
01:03:51,440 --> 01:03:54,284
He showed up for us.
Go find him.

1260
01:03:54,600 --> 01:03:55,965
Uh, yeah, yeah,
I'm on it.

1261
01:04:02,840 --> 01:04:03,921
Lloyd, look!

1262
01:04:04,400 --> 01:04:05,765
Penny is speaking soon.

1263
01:04:06,800 --> 01:04:08,689
That's so hot.

1264
01:04:18,280 --> 01:04:20,965
Is it done?
No.

1265
01:04:21,280 --> 01:04:23,806
Some Canadian douchebags barged
in before I could finish her.

1266
01:04:25,960 --> 01:04:27,121
Okay-

1267
01:04:27,200 --> 01:04:30,807
You follow Penny, and the next
chance you get, kill her.

1268
01:04:30,960 --> 01:04:32,689
I'll take out the guys,
get the box.

1269
01:04:33,040 --> 01:04:34,929
What if they have already
gone into the KEN conference?

1270
01:04:35,000 --> 01:04:36,161
Not a chance.

1271
01:04:36,280 --> 01:04:39,409
The event's been sold
out for over a year,
and the security is insane.

1272
01:04:39,520 --> 01:04:40,806
Tickets, please.

1273
01:04:41,040 --> 01:04:42,451
No, thank you.

1274
01:04:42,520 --> 01:04:44,284
We're not much
for boring speeches.

1275
01:04:44,480 --> 01:04:47,211
We just have to make sure that
his daughter gets this box.

1276
01:04:47,480 --> 01:04:50,689
No tickie, no entry.
No exceptions.

1277
01:04:52,800 --> 01:04:54,325
<i>Have you found
Dr. Pinchelow yet?</i>

1278
01:04:54,400 --> 01:04:56,402
No. I don't even know
what he looks like.

1279
01:04:56,560 --> 01:04:57,561
This is ridiculous.

1280
01:04:57,640 --> 01:04:59,369
How am I supposed to find
the man in this throng

1281
01:04:59,480 --> 01:05:02,245
when all I know about him is
that he wears hearing aids?

1282
01:05:02,400 --> 01:05:05,324
Great. It's sold out.
I'm dead.

1283
01:05:06,480 --> 01:05:08,209
So much for
higher education.

1284
01:05:11,320 --> 01:05:12,401
Relax, Har.

1285
01:05:12,480 --> 01:05:15,563
We're gonna find her.
Don't get that dying
kidney all worked up.

1286
01:05:15,680 --> 01:05:17,091
Oh, it's not the kidney.

1287
01:05:17,160 --> 01:05:18,605
I think I gotta
pinch a loaf.

1288
01:05:18,840 --> 01:05:21,571
Pinchelow?
Did someone
say Pinchelow?

1289
01:05:21,840 --> 01:05:23,683
Oh, my goodness,
it is you!

1290
01:05:23,840 --> 01:05:26,207
You're really here!
I'm Dr. Meldmann.

1291
01:05:26,320 --> 01:05:27,606
How was your trip
from Maryland?

1292
01:05:27,880 --> 01:05:28,927
Not so great.

1293
01:05:29,000 --> 01:05:31,401
Somebody stole our car and he
finger-bombed an old lady.

1294
01:05:33,360 --> 01:05:34,441
Sounds terrible.

1295
01:05:34,520 --> 01:05:36,204
We'll take really good care
of you now that you're here.

1296
01:05:36,280 --> 01:05:37,611
Uh, would you like
to go into the foyer

1297
01:05:37,680 --> 01:05:39,320
for the cocktail reception,
Dr. Pinchelow?

1298
01:05:39,760 --> 01:05:41,444
Oh. Yes, Dr. Pinchelow
would love to go

1299
01:05:41,520 --> 01:05:43,284
to the foyer for
the cocktail reception.

1300
01:05:43,440 --> 01:05:45,363
Yeah, cool.
Let's get ripped.

1301
01:05:46,760 --> 01:05:48,922
Uh, this way, please.

1302
01:05:49,520 --> 01:05:51,204
I'm sorry, your name is?

1303
01:05:51,400 --> 01:05:53,209
I'm his associate,
Dr. Christmas.

1304
01:05:53,280 --> 01:05:54,884
Ah, Christmas
like the holiday?

1305
01:05:54,960 --> 01:05:56,883
No.
Like the tree.

1306
01:05:58,720 --> 01:06:00,000
May I ask you
a question, Doctor,

1307
01:06:00,040 --> 01:06:01,485
and I don't mean
to be insensitive,

1308
01:06:01,600 --> 01:06:04,490
but, uh, does Dr. Pinchelow
have Asperger's?

1309
01:06:04,640 --> 01:06:05,880
Probably.

1310
01:06:06,040 --> 01:06:08,202
I know he doesn't
wipe real well.

1311
01:06:12,480 --> 01:06:14,369
Why don't you gentlemen
make yourselves at home.

1312
01:06:14,440 --> 01:06:16,841
I'm gonna go fetch the, uh,
director of the conference,

1313
01:06:16,920 --> 01:06:18,331
Dr. Barbara Walcott.

1314
01:06:18,400 --> 01:06:20,084
She can't
wait to meet you.

1315
01:06:20,160 --> 01:06:22,970
Dr. Barbara?
A lady doctor?
Seriously?

1316
01:06:23,560 --> 01:06:25,722
Lady doctor, that
always cracks me up.

1317
01:06:25,800 --> 01:06:27,802
Yeah, doctor of doing
the laundry, maybe.

1318
01:06:27,920 --> 01:06:28,921
Am I right?

1319
01:06:30,960 --> 01:06:32,166
I'll be right back.

1320
01:06:33,920 --> 01:06:35,285
What were you
thinking, Lloyd?

1321
01:06:35,360 --> 01:06:36,725
Now he thinks
we're doctors.

1322
01:06:36,800 --> 01:06:38,404
At least we're
in the door.

1323
01:06:38,560 --> 01:06:40,483
Now all we gotta do
is act intelligent.
We'll fit right in.

1324
01:06:40,600 --> 01:06:41,601
Okay-

1325
01:06:44,400 --> 01:06:45,765
Hi, barkeep.

1326
01:06:45,920 --> 01:06:47,445
How much for a beer?
It's gratis.

1327
01:06:48,200 --> 01:06:49,326
Ooh.

1328
01:06:49,480 --> 01:06:50,845
That sounds expensive.

1329
01:06:51,760 --> 01:06:53,364
Can you give
us a moment?

1330
01:06:54,120 --> 01:06:56,248
Lloyd, we blew our money
on the graduation robes.

1331
01:06:56,320 --> 01:06:57,481
Maybe we shouldn't drink.

1332
01:06:57,600 --> 01:06:59,364
No way.
I need booze, man.

1333
01:06:59,600 --> 01:07:01,045
If I meet your daughter
without a buzz on,

1334
01:07:01,160 --> 01:07:02,321
she'll think
I'm an idiot.

1335
01:07:04,760 --> 01:07:06,046
Hey,
wait a minute!

1336
01:07:06,680 --> 01:07:09,047
What about
the old Stinkeroo?

1337
01:07:09,280 --> 01:07:11,203
Yeah, I'm in.

1338
01:07:30,640 --> 01:07:32,369
Excuse me, ma'am.
Yes?

1339
01:07:32,480 --> 01:07:33,641
This beer smells funky.

1340
01:07:33,720 --> 01:07:35,006
Can I have
a new one, please?

1341
01:07:35,640 --> 01:07:36,721
What do you mean "funky"?

1342
01:07:37,400 --> 01:07:38,606
Go ahead, take a sniff.

1343
01:07:38,680 --> 01:07:39,966
Ew!

1344
01:07:42,720 --> 01:07:43,801
I'll get you a freshie.

1345
01:07:43,880 --> 01:07:45,530
Mine is stinky, too.

1346
01:07:52,680 --> 01:07:54,569
Yours smells even worse!

1347
01:07:54,680 --> 01:07:56,842
I'll be right back.

1348
01:07:57,480 --> 01:07:59,050
"Yours smells even worse."

1349
01:07:59,160 --> 01:08:00,321
Thanks!

1350
01:08:00,520 --> 01:08:01,885
You're really good
at that, Lloyd.

1351
01:08:02,320 --> 01:08:03,526
I learned from the best.

1352
01:08:04,000 --> 01:08:05,331
Thanks, Mom.

1353
01:08:05,760 --> 01:08:07,524
I can't wait to see
what's in this.

1354
01:08:07,840 --> 01:08:09,922
Yeah. Hey, Har?
Mmm?

1355
01:08:10,080 --> 01:08:11,161
Do you know how long
you have to wait

1356
01:08:11,240 --> 01:08:13,242
after kidney surgery
to have sex?

1357
01:08:13,320 --> 01:08:15,004
I don't think I'll
have to wait too long.

1358
01:08:15,160 --> 01:08:17,447
No, not you.
I meant the donor chick.

1359
01:08:18,400 --> 01:08:20,562
What are you talking about?
Okay! Fine!

1360
01:08:20,680 --> 01:08:21,920
Let's just drop it!

1361
01:08:22,000 --> 01:08:23,411
Here you go,
doctors.

1362
01:08:23,680 --> 01:08:24,841
Fresh beers.

1363
01:08:25,000 --> 01:08:28,686
And I also brought you some
hydroponically grown goji berries

1364
01:08:28,760 --> 01:08:30,205
with vegan barbecue sauce

1365
01:08:30,280 --> 01:08:32,567
and some organic
pumpkin chips. Enjoy.

1366
01:08:32,680 --> 01:08:34,091
Why, thank you!
Mmm.

1367
01:08:35,960 --> 01:08:37,291
Mmm.

1368
01:08:39,200 --> 01:08:40,201
Mmm.

1369
01:08:40,400 --> 01:08:42,129
These are salty.
Mmm-hmm.

1370
01:08:42,240 --> 01:08:43,446
Try these.

1371
01:08:46,720 --> 01:08:47,881
Mmm.

1372
01:08:48,240 --> 01:08:49,765
Yours are super tangy.

1373
01:08:50,560 --> 01:08:52,050
I like it a lot.

1374
01:08:53,040 --> 01:08:54,246
Gentlemen.

1375
01:08:54,400 --> 01:08:55,811
I'd like you to meet the
director of the conference,

1376
01:08:55,880 --> 01:08:56,961
Dr. Barbara Walcott.

1377
01:08:57,040 --> 01:08:58,963
And, Barbara,
this is Dr. Pinchelow

1378
01:08:59,120 --> 01:09:01,282
and his associate,
Dr. Christmas.

1379
01:09:01,440 --> 01:09:04,887
Wonderful. It is a high
honor to meet you both.

1380
01:09:04,960 --> 01:09:07,440
Wow. Great accent, doc.
Where you from?

1381
01:09:07,560 --> 01:09:08,891
England. Surrey.

1382
01:09:09,120 --> 01:09:11,521
Oh, no need to apologize.
That was years ago.

1383
01:09:11,600 --> 01:09:13,568
We kicked your butt anyway,
so we're cool with it.

1384
01:09:17,640 --> 01:09:18,920
Oh,
you're a leg-puller!

1385
01:09:18,960 --> 01:09:21,486
Let's get you
both to your seats.

1386
01:09:21,560 --> 01:09:23,927
Professor Garabedian's
KEN talk is about to begin.

1387
01:09:24,080 --> 01:09:28,005
Now, the existence of dark
matter is largely inferred

1388
01:09:28,080 --> 01:09:31,323
from the gravitational
effect on visible matter

1389
01:09:31,760 --> 01:09:35,446
and the gravitational lensing
of background radiation.

1390
01:09:35,600 --> 01:09:37,602
We saved two seats for you at
the end of the second row.

1391
01:09:37,680 --> 01:09:38,681
Just there.

1392
01:09:40,600 --> 01:09:44,207
...because they were trying to
figure out the discrepancies...

1393
01:09:44,280 --> 01:09:45,566
You could actually
go in the front.

1394
01:09:45,640 --> 01:09:47,369
- Coming through.
- My bad!

1395
01:09:47,600 --> 01:09:48,965
Here we go. Oops!

1396
01:09:49,120 --> 01:09:50,929
Wow. Is that silk?

1397
01:09:53,480 --> 01:09:54,686
That sucks!

1398
01:09:55,320 --> 01:09:57,129
That's good. Sorry.

1399
01:09:57,680 --> 01:09:58,886
Watch my knee.

1400
01:09:58,960 --> 01:10:00,760
We make a better door
than a window, don't we?

1401
01:10:01,680 --> 01:10:03,603
I hope this isn't
your favorite part.

1402
01:10:04,000 --> 01:10:05,843
There are a couple
of hotties over here.

1403
01:10:05,960 --> 01:10:07,371
I got it!
Oh!

1404
01:10:09,280 --> 01:10:10,964
That was easy!

1405
01:10:11,720 --> 01:10:14,530
That Dr. Pinchelow is certainly
a fascinating character.

1406
01:10:14,680 --> 01:10:16,808
Of course he is.
He's a genius.

1407
01:10:17,120 --> 01:10:21,523
Indeed, the Large Hadron
Collider has already shown us

1408
01:10:21,680 --> 01:10:23,648
that dark matter
is likely...

1409
01:10:23,800 --> 01:10:25,325
Especially when
you eat prunes!

1410
01:10:27,160 --> 01:10:28,207
Yes.

1411
01:10:28,800 --> 01:10:31,007
That dark
matter is likely...

1412
01:10:34,240 --> 01:10:36,561
...the missing piece
of the puzzle

1413
01:10:36,720 --> 01:10:40,327
that physicists have been
searching for, for years.

1414
01:10:40,880 --> 01:10:43,247
Nerd!

1415
01:10:43,320 --> 01:10:45,209
Nerd! Nerd! Nerd!

1416
01:10:45,320 --> 01:10:48,563
Nerd! Nerd! Nerd!

1417
01:10:48,680 --> 01:10:51,001
<i>Excuse me, gentlemen.</i>

1418
01:10:51,400 --> 01:10:52,765
Holy crap!

1419
01:10:52,840 --> 01:10:54,200
Did that come from you?

1420
01:10:54,240 --> 01:10:57,722
<i>Dr. Garabedian is a
world-renowned astrophysicist</i>

1421
01:10:58,040 --> 01:11:00,725
<i>and many of us are interested
in hearing his findings.</i>

1422
01:11:01,080 --> 01:11:03,367
I'm reading his mind. Mmm-hmm.
I'm picking it up, too.

1423
01:11:04,520 --> 01:11:06,249
Who is that?

1424
01:11:06,400 --> 01:11:08,004
It's Dr. Pinchelow!

1425
01:11:09,680 --> 01:11:10,886
Bernard Pinchelow?

1426
01:11:12,280 --> 01:11:14,362
<i>- Dark matter is not</i> a <i>joke.</i>

1427
01:11:15,040 --> 01:11:17,771
<i>Your antics are proving
to be disruptive.</i>

1428
01:11:17,840 --> 01:11:20,366
Thank you, Dr. Dilbeck,

1429
01:11:21,680 --> 01:11:22,966
but Dr. Pinchelow is right.

1430
01:11:23,720 --> 01:11:26,405
My dark matter data was insufficient.

1431
01:11:27,200 --> 01:11:28,247
<i>What the fuck?</i>

1432
01:11:29,560 --> 01:11:31,369
My methods were sloppy.

1433
01:11:32,880 --> 01:11:34,405
I'm a hack.

1434
01:11:35,560 --> 01:11:37,403
I'm really sorry.

1435
01:11:41,080 --> 01:11:42,241
See?

1436
01:11:42,480 --> 01:11:44,050
<i>Eat me.
Suck it!</i>

1437
01:11:44,440 --> 01:11:46,647
You <i>wish.</i>
Lloyd. Lloyd.

1438
01:11:46,720 --> 01:11:49,041
<i>Thank you,
Professor Garabedian.</i>

1439
01:11:49,600 --> 01:11:51,409
<i>That's what the KEN
Conference is all about.</i>

1440
01:11:51,880 --> 01:11:52,927
<i>Truth.</i>

1441
01:11:53,040 --> 01:11:55,088
<i>But I will ask that
everyone please behave</i>

1442
01:11:55,160 --> 01:11:56,730
<i>in a professional
and dignified...</i>

1443
01:11:56,920 --> 01:11:58,570
Show us your tits!

1444
01:11:59,760 --> 01:12:01,520
- Both Of them!
- Yeah!

1445
01:12:02,600 --> 01:12:04,967
<i>We're just gonna take a short
two-minute break. Thank you!</i>

1446
01:12:06,960 --> 01:12:08,086
Man.

1447
01:12:08,160 --> 01:12:09,366
Hey, this is great!

1448
01:12:09,440 --> 01:12:11,681
We're learning so much
about dark matter.

1449
01:12:13,760 --> 01:12:14,807
Yes, indeed.

1450
01:12:14,920 --> 01:12:16,046
Uh, I'm sorry,
Dr. Pinchelow,

1451
01:12:16,120 --> 01:12:19,124
but we can't seem to find Dr.
Christmas on the roster.

1452
01:12:19,240 --> 01:12:20,924
Oh, that's okay.
He's with me.

1453
01:12:21,240 --> 01:12:25,165
Due to security concerns everyone
must be on the list to get in.

1454
01:12:25,600 --> 01:12:27,125
It's all right, Doctor.

1455
01:12:28,080 --> 01:12:30,287
I think I know a shakedown
when I see one.

1456
01:12:30,480 --> 01:12:31,641
I'll tell you what.

1457
01:12:31,760 --> 01:12:35,128
I'm gonna write an IOU
and I'm gonna leave it blank.

1458
01:12:35,640 --> 01:12:36,766
Anybody have a pen?

1459
01:12:36,840 --> 01:12:39,446
There are no exceptions.

1460
01:12:39,840 --> 01:12:41,080
Really?

1461
01:12:41,160 --> 01:12:42,366
I'll tell you what, warden.

1462
01:12:42,680 --> 01:12:43,966
If I'm leaving,

1463
01:12:44,120 --> 01:12:46,487
then my steamed colleague
is leaving with me.

1464
01:12:46,600 --> 01:12:47,840
No, he's not.

1465
01:12:49,960 --> 01:12:51,121
Quick conference.

1466
01:12:54,640 --> 01:12:56,130
What are you doing, Har?

1467
01:12:56,360 --> 01:12:58,601
You're killing me!
Lloyd, I can't leave.

1468
01:12:58,680 --> 01:13:01,570
Penny is gonna be speaking soon.
I wanna meet her!

1469
01:13:01,640 --> 01:13:02,721
What?

1470
01:13:02,800 --> 01:13:04,484
How come you get to
meet her before I do?

1471
01:13:05,520 --> 01:13:07,602
Lloyd, this is about me.

1472
01:13:07,680 --> 01:13:09,170
Me, my daughter
and my kidney.

1473
01:13:09,320 --> 01:13:10,810
That's why we're
here, remember?

1474
01:13:11,120 --> 01:13:12,849
How can I forget? It's
all you ever talk about.

1475
01:13:12,960 --> 01:13:14,450
Penny and my kidney.
My kidney and Penny.

1476
01:13:14,520 --> 01:13:16,680
To tell you the truth, I'm
getting a little sick of it.

1477
01:13:16,960 --> 01:13:18,086
Wait a minute.

1478
01:13:18,160 --> 01:13:19,844
I know what
you're up to, mister.

1479
01:13:21,360 --> 01:13:23,761
You wanna stay because
you're hot for my daughter!

1480
01:13:23,840 --> 01:13:26,241
What?
Am I right?

1481
01:13:26,320 --> 01:13:27,731
That's insane!

1482
01:13:27,840 --> 01:13:28,921
Don't deny it, Lloyd!

1483
01:13:29,000 --> 01:13:30,365
You have been
drooling over her

1484
01:13:30,440 --> 01:13:32,408
ever since you
first saw her picture.

1485
01:13:32,480 --> 01:13:33,561
So what?

1486
01:13:33,640 --> 01:13:36,166
I'm not gonna apologize for letting
nature take its course, Har.

1487
01:13:36,320 --> 01:13:38,448
I hate to burst
your butthole, mister.

1488
01:13:38,520 --> 01:13:39,681
It ain't gonna happen.

1489
01:13:39,840 --> 01:13:42,047
It's my job to
protect my daughter.

1490
01:13:42,160 --> 01:13:43,207
Protect her?

1491
01:13:43,680 --> 01:13:45,011
Look who's talking!

1492
01:13:45,200 --> 01:13:47,009
You're trying to swindle
her out of a kidney!

1493
01:13:47,160 --> 01:13:48,685
At least I'm gonna
marry her.

1494
01:13:50,720 --> 01:13:51,801
Marry her? No.

1495
01:13:51,880 --> 01:13:53,769
You're not gonna marry.
Why not?

1496
01:13:53,840 --> 01:13:56,605
No! Lloyd, you are not going
to marry my daughter.

1497
01:13:56,840 --> 01:13:59,571
Why? Because she's a tick younger than me?
Get over it.

1498
01:13:59,720 --> 01:14:00,881
Age is just a letter, man.

1499
01:14:01,040 --> 01:14:04,249
It's got nothing
to do with age!
It's got to do...

1500
01:14:05,600 --> 01:14:06,726
With what?

1501
01:14:10,680 --> 01:14:12,205
I'm her father, Lloyd,

1502
01:14:14,800 --> 01:14:16,131
and, frankly,

1503
01:14:19,040 --> 01:14:20,565
I think she can do better.

1504
01:14:22,320 --> 01:14:23,526
Oh...

1505
01:14:27,800 --> 01:14:29,211
Okay-

1506
01:14:41,480 --> 01:14:43,448
Time to go, Doctor.
All right, buddy.

1507
01:14:43,920 --> 01:14:45,410
- Harry?
- Let's go.

1508
01:14:48,080 --> 01:14:49,241
Harry?

1509
01:14:51,720 --> 01:14:52,801
Harry?

1510
01:14:55,640 --> 01:14:57,961
Dr. Walcott just
had a wonderful idea.

1511
01:14:58,080 --> 01:14:59,161
How would you like
to come with us

1512
01:14:59,240 --> 01:15:01,242
and judge the Young
Inventors competition?

1513
01:15:03,840 --> 01:15:05,683
Yeah, cool.
Let's judge shit.

1514
01:15:06,320 --> 01:15:07,970
Hey! Hey!

1515
01:15:15,520 --> 01:15:17,602
So this is what
rock bottom feels like.

1516
01:15:19,520 --> 01:15:21,761
Mmm, not that bad.

1517
01:15:27,360 --> 01:15:28,521
Hello?

1518
01:15:28,680 --> 01:15:30,523
<i>Hello? Hello?</i>

1519
01:15:30,600 --> 01:15:31,886
Hello?

1520
01:15:32,160 --> 01:15:33,286
Penny?

1521
01:15:33,440 --> 01:15:35,442
I can't hear you,
you're breaking up.

1522
01:15:35,600 --> 01:15:36,806
Penny?

1523
01:15:37,960 --> 01:15:40,691
Penny! How's this?

1524
01:15:41,040 --> 01:15:44,010
<i>Just</i> hang on.
Don't <i>go</i> anywhere.

1525
01:15:48,800 --> 01:15:49,847
<i>Can you hear me now?</i>

1526
01:15:49,960 --> 01:15:51,485
Yes, I can hear you now.

1527
01:15:51,640 --> 01:15:54,484
Good! I can hear
you loud and clear.

1528
01:15:55,000 --> 01:15:57,241
This is Lloyd,
your dad's good buddy.

1529
01:15:57,720 --> 01:16:00,564
Unfortunately, I don't
have him at the moment,

1530
01:16:01,000 --> 01:16:04,447
but, uh, he wanted me to ask you
to find a nice, romantic place

1531
01:16:04,520 --> 01:16:06,090
where we can all meet.

1532
01:16:07,800 --> 01:16:10,087
No, by "romantic"
I meant convenient.

1533
01:16:10,640 --> 01:16:13,644
And it has to be some place
outside the convention center.

1534
01:16:16,360 --> 01:16:19,728
The fountain? On Main Street?
In 10 minutes?

1535
01:16:19,880 --> 01:16:21,166
Perfect!

1536
01:16:22,320 --> 01:16:23,526
Yes!

1537
01:16:24,000 --> 01:16:26,048
It's marvelous
to meet you, Mrs. Pinchelow.

1538
01:16:26,160 --> 01:16:27,844
I trust you had
a safe journey in?

1539
01:16:27,920 --> 01:16:29,046
It was lovely.

1540
01:16:29,160 --> 01:16:31,527
Great. We have a seat saved
for you in the front row.

1541
01:16:31,600 --> 01:16:34,251
We're just about to introduce
your charming husband.

1542
01:16:34,600 --> 01:16:36,045
My husband?

1543
01:16:37,160 --> 01:16:39,049
<i>So let's
give a warm, KEN welcome</i>

1544
01:16:39,120 --> 01:16:40,963
<i>to our very
distinguished judge,</i>

1545
01:16:41,040 --> 01:16:43,088
<i>Dr. Bernard Pinchelow.</i>

1546
01:17:29,120 --> 01:17:30,246
Hi!

1547
01:17:30,480 --> 01:17:31,606
Hello!

1548
01:17:33,440 --> 01:17:34,805
How about a hug?

1549
01:17:35,080 --> 01:17:36,320
Sure!

1550
01:17:40,400 --> 01:17:41,401
Oh!

1551
01:17:42,560 --> 01:17:43,971
I love hellos.

1552
01:17:44,280 --> 01:17:45,964
Oh, me, too.

1553
01:17:50,240 --> 01:17:51,241
Wow!

1554
01:17:51,320 --> 01:17:52,606
You're really
sweet, mister,

1555
01:17:52,680 --> 01:17:56,082
but I'm waiting for my dad and his
friend, so if you'll excuse me.

1556
01:17:57,120 --> 01:18:00,442
No, it's me, Lloyd!

1557
01:18:00,600 --> 01:18:02,090
Hi, Lloyd, I'm Penny.

1558
01:18:02,440 --> 01:18:04,488
On! Lloyd! Hi!

1559
01:18:04,760 --> 01:18:06,649
It's so nice to meet you!

1560
01:18:07,400 --> 01:18:09,323
Um, where's my dad?

1561
01:18:10,120 --> 01:18:13,806
Uh, he was delayed, so, uh,
he asked me to come by

1562
01:18:13,920 --> 01:18:15,001
and entertain you...

1563
01:18:18,800 --> 01:18:20,165
...until he can
meet up with us.

1564
01:18:21,200 --> 01:18:23,202
I think he wanted us
to have a chance to bond.

1565
01:18:24,800 --> 01:18:26,131
James Bond.

1566
01:18:26,680 --> 01:18:27,806
Great!

1567
01:18:27,880 --> 01:18:29,723
Are you hungry? Can I get
you something to eat?

1568
01:18:29,800 --> 01:18:31,290
Sure!

1569
01:18:31,640 --> 01:18:32,880
Awesome!

1570
01:18:37,640 --> 01:18:38,687
Wow!

1571
01:18:38,840 --> 01:18:40,126
We can go somewhere nice.

1572
01:18:40,280 --> 01:18:41,406
Sounds yummy!

1573
01:18:43,040 --> 01:18:44,405
Here, try this.

1574
01:18:44,560 --> 01:18:46,210
This is incredible popcorn.

1575
01:18:46,360 --> 01:18:49,409
And I know popcorn. I'm the
second-best popcorn maker I know.

1576
01:18:49,560 --> 01:18:51,608
All right, I'll take the bait.
Who's the third-best?

1577
01:18:51,680 --> 01:18:54,684
I know, right? I've
always wondered that!

1578
01:18:57,160 --> 01:18:58,924
Shrub club!

1579
01:18:59,640 --> 01:19:00,846
Sorry!

1580
01:19:00,920 --> 01:19:03,571
It's just this game that I play
with my friends back home.

1581
01:19:04,400 --> 01:19:05,925
I love you!

1582
01:19:06,560 --> 01:19:07,766
What?

1583
01:19:08,400 --> 01:19:09,526
Um...

1584
01:19:09,840 --> 01:19:12,889
That's a direct quote,
from your dad.

1585
01:19:13,320 --> 01:19:14,401
"I love you."

1586
01:19:14,680 --> 01:19:15,761
His words.

1587
01:19:15,840 --> 01:19:17,251
Hey, wait a second.

1588
01:19:17,520 --> 01:19:19,249
How do I even know
that you know my dad?

1589
01:19:19,400 --> 01:19:21,402
You could be one of
those foreign guys
who always calls me up

1590
01:19:21,520 --> 01:19:23,090
and makes me get undressed
in front of the computer

1591
01:19:23,160 --> 01:19:24,764
because he lost
his passports and money.

1592
01:19:24,840 --> 01:19:26,524
No, no, that's not me.

1593
01:19:27,000 --> 01:19:28,923
Look, I can prove it.

1594
01:19:29,520 --> 01:19:30,885
I have your cell phone.

1595
01:19:31,000 --> 01:19:34,288
Oh, my gosh! No wonder no
one's been calling me!

1596
01:19:35,480 --> 01:19:36,481
Oh.

1597
01:19:37,440 --> 01:19:39,000
I, uh, plugged
my number in there

1598
01:19:39,600 --> 01:19:41,523
in case you need me
late at night.

1599
01:19:43,040 --> 01:19:46,362
Oh, and we brought your box.
You left it at the house,
you stupid idiot.

1600
01:19:47,880 --> 01:19:49,006
Hey, you wanna
see something neat?

1601
01:19:49,080 --> 01:19:50,286
Okay!

1602
01:19:55,800 --> 01:19:59,361
Wait, are you sure that it's okay
for birds to be eating Pop Rocks?

1603
01:19:59,800 --> 01:20:01,840
I mean, you'd think it would
be bad for their teeth.

1604
01:20:02,240 --> 01:20:05,323
Nah! That's just
a suburban legend.

1605
01:20:05,400 --> 01:20:06,640
Oh.

1606
01:20:08,280 --> 01:20:09,441
Shit!

1607
01:20:13,640 --> 01:20:16,962
Spontaneous combustion,
however, totally real.

1608
01:20:17,080 --> 01:20:18,081
Oh.

1609
01:20:22,120 --> 01:20:24,487
What?
<i>You gotta
get back here right now.</i>

1610
01:20:24,600 --> 01:20:26,011
One of those idiots
is in the building

1611
01:20:26,080 --> 01:20:27,923
and he's pretending
to be my husband!

1612
01:20:28,160 --> 01:20:30,208
Why don't you tell them
he's not your husband?

1613
01:20:30,280 --> 01:20:32,040
Because I don't even know
what they're up to.

1614
01:20:32,560 --> 01:20:34,289
He must be trying
to sell the box.

1615
01:20:34,600 --> 01:20:36,648
Just get back here!

1616
01:20:36,840 --> 01:20:40,128
This microscopic robot,
or nanobot

1617
01:20:40,520 --> 01:20:42,170
can be injected
into the human body

1618
01:20:42,320 --> 01:20:45,449
to detect and cure cancer.

1619
01:20:47,080 --> 01:20:48,366
Interesting.

1620
01:20:49,080 --> 01:20:50,764
Can it sing?

1621
01:20:51,800 --> 01:20:52,801
Uh...

1622
01:20:53,080 --> 01:20:54,161
What?

1623
01:20:54,280 --> 01:20:56,726
They got a large-mouth bass now
that you hang it on the wall.

1624
01:20:56,800 --> 01:20:59,644
When you walk past it,
it sings
Take Me to the River.

1625
01:21:04,520 --> 01:21:06,841
Are you saying...
What I'm saying is,

1626
01:21:07,000 --> 01:21:08,604
you're this close,

1627
01:21:08,800 --> 01:21:10,848
but there's a drawing board
you should be getting back to.

1628
01:21:11,000 --> 01:21:12,126
Next!

1629
01:21:13,600 --> 01:21:15,728
But it cures cancer.

1630
01:21:25,280 --> 01:21:26,486
<i>Ni</i> hao.

1631
01:21:30,640 --> 01:21:31,846
Listen to this.

1632
01:21:31,960 --> 01:21:34,008
"You will do important
things in the world."

1633
01:21:34,480 --> 01:21:35,527
That's so weird

1634
01:21:35,640 --> 01:21:38,325
because I actually want to do
important things in the world.

1635
01:21:38,400 --> 01:21:40,402
Wow. That's neat.

1636
01:21:41,000 --> 01:21:43,207
Someday, I wanna do
important things, too.

1637
01:21:43,320 --> 01:21:44,481
Oh, yeah? Like what?

1638
01:21:46,800 --> 01:21:48,928
I'm thinking about
getting new speakers.

1639
01:21:49,000 --> 01:21:50,365
Oh.

1640
01:21:51,360 --> 01:21:52,850
I've always wanted
to go to India

1641
01:21:52,920 --> 01:21:55,491
and volunteer at one of
those leprechaun colonies.

1642
01:21:55,760 --> 01:21:57,364
I think you mean Ireland.

1643
01:21:57,920 --> 01:21:59,126
Oh.

1644
01:21:59,320 --> 01:22:01,049
So what does
your cookie say?

1645
01:22:03,000 --> 01:22:04,843
"You will have
an amazing romance

1646
01:22:04,920 --> 01:22:07,526
"with the person sitted
across from you."

1647
01:22:09,520 --> 01:22:11,648
It's a good thing
I'm not your uncle.

1648
01:22:11,720 --> 01:22:14,007
"And don't be concerned
about the age difference.

1649
01:22:14,440 --> 01:22:16,169
"Just shut up
and make out.

1650
01:22:16,240 --> 01:22:19,005
"It will all sort itself
out later. You'll see!"

1651
01:22:19,440 --> 01:22:21,681
That's ridiculously specific.
Let me see that.

1652
01:22:23,400 --> 01:22:25,402
If you don't eat it,
it doesn't come true.

1653
01:22:28,880 --> 01:22:30,086
Hey, where's my dad?

1654
01:22:30,200 --> 01:22:31,645
Do you know if
Adele came with him?

1655
01:22:31,720 --> 01:22:33,280
She's probably the one
slowing him down.

1656
01:22:33,560 --> 01:22:34,891
Adele?

1657
01:22:35,040 --> 01:22:36,201
His wife.

1658
01:22:37,080 --> 01:22:38,286
Harry doesn't have a wife.

1659
01:22:38,520 --> 01:22:39,931
Who's Harry?

1660
01:22:40,520 --> 01:22:41,681
Your father.

1661
01:22:41,760 --> 01:22:42,966
My father's
name's not Harry.

1662
01:22:43,040 --> 01:22:44,040
It's Bernard.

1663
01:22:44,080 --> 01:22:46,048
Oh, yeah, but I'm talking
about your real dad.

1664
01:22:46,560 --> 01:22:47,686
Harry Dunne!

1665
01:22:47,760 --> 01:22:50,286
The guy who abandoned you when
you were a little, tiny baby.

1666
01:22:50,640 --> 01:22:51,926
You're gonna love him!

1667
01:22:52,600 --> 01:22:53,886
Wait a second.

1668
01:22:54,280 --> 01:22:55,805
So you're saying we're
supposed to be meeting

1669
01:22:55,880 --> 01:22:57,245
my biographical father?

1670
01:22:57,720 --> 01:22:58,767
Yes.

1671
01:22:58,960 --> 01:23:00,121
Here.

1672
01:23:00,400 --> 01:23:03,609
This is a letter from
your real mother, Fraida,
that you sent back to her.

1673
01:23:03,760 --> 01:23:04,886
Nice.

1674
01:23:05,080 --> 01:23:06,570
"Do not contact again."

1675
01:23:07,400 --> 01:23:08,640
This isn't my handwriting.

1676
01:23:08,720 --> 01:23:10,563
I don't even know cursive.

1677
01:23:13,080 --> 01:23:16,084
"Dear daughter, I gave you
up for adoption 18 years ago

1678
01:23:16,160 --> 01:23:18,242
"because I thought it was
the right thing to do.

1679
01:23:18,400 --> 01:23:20,641
"I hope and pray I made
the correct decision.

1680
01:23:20,800 --> 01:23:23,406
"You were conceived in Rhode
Island on a chilly autumn night

1681
01:23:23,480 --> 01:23:25,642
"in the parking lot
at Oyster Swallow Cove.

1682
01:23:25,760 --> 01:23:28,604
"We were young and stupid,
especially him."

1683
01:23:28,680 --> 01:23:30,125
Oyster Swallow Cove?

1684
01:23:37,720 --> 01:23:39,370
Are you ready, baby?

1685
01:23:42,880 --> 01:23:44,086
Mmm-hmm.

1686
01:23:44,200 --> 01:23:45,361
Whoa! Whoa!

1687
01:23:45,720 --> 01:23:46,846
Slow down.

1688
01:23:46,920 --> 01:23:48,285
Let's be responsible here.

1689
01:23:49,000 --> 01:23:50,650
I brought some protection.

1690
01:23:55,600 --> 01:23:57,250
Let's do this.

1691
01:24:01,920 --> 01:24:04,360
"So, if you ever wanna get in
touch, I would love to meet you.

1692
01:24:04,800 --> 01:24:07,610
"All my love, Fraida
Felcher, your mom."

1693
01:24:09,720 --> 01:24:11,290
That means I'm your...

1694
01:24:12,480 --> 01:24:13,641
And we almost...

1695
01:24:13,720 --> 01:24:15,643
Lloyd? Are you okay?

1696
01:24:17,760 --> 01:24:20,000
I'm sorry, Lloyd, but I gotta
get back to the convention.

1697
01:24:20,040 --> 01:24:22,964
I'm supposed to be giving a big
speech for my dad any minute.

1698
01:24:23,040 --> 01:24:24,644
But, wait. We have
so much to talk about.

1699
01:24:24,720 --> 01:24:25,721
It's an emergency!

1700
01:24:25,800 --> 01:24:28,007
It's all a big misunderstanding!
I've gotta go!

1701
01:24:28,080 --> 01:24:29,491
Not dressed
like that, you're not!

1702
01:24:29,560 --> 01:24:31,005
You're grounded!

1703
01:24:34,880 --> 01:24:36,166
Wait a minute.

1704
01:24:36,320 --> 01:24:38,004
If she's my kid,

1705
01:24:39,120 --> 01:24:41,168
then she's not
Harry's kid,

1706
01:24:41,240 --> 01:24:43,163
and he can't
take her kidneys.

1707
01:24:45,040 --> 01:24:46,485
What have I done?

1708
01:24:54,560 --> 01:24:55,891
Hi, I need to get in.

1709
01:24:56,200 --> 01:24:57,440
Credentials, please?

1710
01:24:57,520 --> 01:24:59,045
Oh, I'm giving a speech.

1711
01:24:59,720 --> 01:25:01,324
Credentials, please.

1712
01:25:01,600 --> 01:25:02,601
What is that?

1713
01:25:02,680 --> 01:25:05,286
Is it that thingy that they
gave me to get in here?

1714
01:25:06,120 --> 01:25:07,690
I think I've got
it here, somewhere.

1715
01:25:07,840 --> 01:25:11,731
Mister, l am appealing to your
sense of God and family.

1716
01:25:11,960 --> 01:25:13,121
I got a message
that my daughter,

1717
01:25:13,200 --> 01:25:15,441
who I have not
seen in 22 years,

1718
01:25:15,600 --> 01:25:16,681
is in there.

1719
01:25:16,880 --> 01:25:18,564
The event will be
letting out soon.

1720
01:25:18,640 --> 01:25:21,928
After 22 years,
what's another
couple of hours, right?

1721
01:25:22,240 --> 01:25:23,480
Okay, buddy.

1722
01:25:24,840 --> 01:25:26,763
There's got to be a, uh,

1723
01:25:26,840 --> 01:25:28,444
broom closet around
here somewhere, huh?

1724
01:25:29,320 --> 01:25:32,210
I'm sure we could
work something out.

1725
01:25:33,880 --> 01:25:36,929
I didn't take 34 years
to come out of the closet

1726
01:25:37,040 --> 01:25:38,405
just to go back into one

1727
01:25:38,480 --> 01:25:39,811
with you.

1728
01:25:41,080 --> 01:25:44,971
Okay, this device will give us a visual
rendering of your cognitive processes.

1729
01:25:45,720 --> 01:25:47,480
Could you repeat the question?

1730
01:25:47,800 --> 01:25:50,280
This device will show us
what he's thinking

1731
01:25:50,560 --> 01:25:51,846
right on this screen.

1732
01:25:53,080 --> 01:25:54,525
Yeah, really.

1733
01:25:54,600 --> 01:25:56,125
Go ahead,
Dr. Pinchelow.

1734
01:25:56,720 --> 01:25:58,880
Think of a pleasant memory
from your childhood.

1735
01:25:59,080 --> 01:26:00,844
Okay-

1736
01:26:18,160 --> 01:26:19,161
Oh!

1737
01:26:19,240 --> 01:26:20,366
<i>Here, Biscuit!</i>

1738
01:26:21,080 --> 01:26:22,127
<i>Biscuit, come here, boy.</i>

1739
01:26:24,080 --> 01:26:25,286
<i>The door, buddy.
Get the door.</i>

1740
01:26:34,080 --> 01:26:35,411
Oh, okay.

1741
01:26:37,800 --> 01:26:39,962
No! This gadget
is way off!

1742
01:26:40,040 --> 01:26:42,805
First of all,
my bedspread was orange.

1743
01:26:57,840 --> 01:26:59,330
Are you okay, honey?

1744
01:26:59,520 --> 01:27:00,851
No, not really.

1745
01:27:01,040 --> 01:27:02,326
Boyfriend trouble?

1746
01:27:02,520 --> 01:27:04,602
No. I need a ticket
to get in

1747
01:27:04,680 --> 01:27:07,445
and I lost the ticket that they
need to take, plus, I lost my pass.

1748
01:27:07,520 --> 01:27:08,567
And I thought
that I grabbed it,

1749
01:27:08,640 --> 01:27:09,641
but when I looked
in my purse,

1750
01:27:09,720 --> 01:27:11,563
all I saw was
the toothbrush.
So maybe I took...

1751
01:27:11,640 --> 01:27:13,051
Okay, okay, okay-

1752
01:27:14,320 --> 01:27:15,481
All right.

1753
01:27:16,160 --> 01:27:17,241
What's going on?

1754
01:27:17,400 --> 01:27:19,687
My father's supposed to be
getting a huge reward,

1755
01:27:19,800 --> 01:27:21,400
and I'm supposed to be
making the speech,

1756
01:27:21,560 --> 01:27:23,050
and the speech is supposed
to start right now,

1757
01:27:23,160 --> 01:27:25,280
and there's no way they'll
let me in without a ticket.

1758
01:27:27,160 --> 01:27:28,491
Oh, honey.

1759
01:27:29,400 --> 01:27:31,926
There is always a way.

1760
01:27:35,200 --> 01:27:37,009
I admit,
it's thought-provoking.

1761
01:27:37,160 --> 01:27:39,288
An invention that
ends world hunger.

1762
01:27:39,360 --> 01:27:41,601
But, have you
considered this,

1763
01:27:41,920 --> 01:27:43,490
where does all
the extra poop go?

1764
01:27:44,680 --> 01:27:45,841
What? No.

1765
01:27:45,920 --> 01:27:47,410
The point is that
there's no more hunger.

1766
01:27:47,520 --> 01:27:48,487
Excuse me,
ladies and gentlemen.

1767
01:27:48,560 --> 01:27:49,846
We're gonna take
a very brief break.

1768
01:27:49,920 --> 01:27:50,967
Uh, please stay
in your seats

1769
01:27:51,040 --> 01:27:53,008
and we will resume,
uh, shortly.

1770
01:27:53,120 --> 01:27:54,167
Why?

1771
01:27:54,240 --> 01:27:55,571
We're gonna have
to take a walk.

1772
01:27:55,720 --> 01:27:57,245
Come on.
I'm judging.

1773
01:27:57,360 --> 01:27:58,725
You're out of here.
Okay!

1774
01:27:58,840 --> 01:28:00,080
You're out.

1775
01:28:00,360 --> 01:28:01,361
Mrs. P,

1776
01:28:01,520 --> 01:28:02,521
what are you
doing here?

1777
01:28:02,600 --> 01:28:05,729
Do you always
call your wife
Mrs. P?

1778
01:28:06,360 --> 01:28:07,691
Oh, uh...

1779
01:28:08,880 --> 01:28:10,803
How you doing, sugar tits?
I missed you.

1780
01:28:10,880 --> 01:28:12,530
This man is a fraud.

1781
01:28:12,720 --> 01:28:14,722
And that box belongs
to my husband.

1782
01:28:15,040 --> 01:28:16,087
He stole it from us.

1783
01:28:16,200 --> 01:28:17,247
Hand it over, buddy.

1784
01:28:17,320 --> 01:28:19,687
Uh-uh. I swore I'd only
give this box to Penny.

1785
01:28:19,760 --> 01:28:21,762
Give me the box!
Here you go.

1786
01:28:27,040 --> 01:28:28,960
- What's happening?
- I have no idea.

1787
01:28:29,240 --> 01:28:30,287
Hey!

1788
01:28:30,400 --> 01:28:32,402
Hey, hey!
Get back here!

1789
01:28:32,720 --> 01:28:34,245
Out of my way!

1790
01:28:36,480 --> 01:28:38,244
Thanks a lot, lady!

1791
01:28:38,720 --> 01:28:40,165
It's the least I could do.

1792
01:28:48,400 --> 01:28:50,243
There's something
I need to tell you.

1793
01:28:50,440 --> 01:28:51,771
You're my...

1794
01:28:54,160 --> 01:28:55,525
Okay. The reason
I'm here is...

1795
01:28:55,640 --> 01:28:56,687
Fraida!

1796
01:28:56,960 --> 01:28:58,325
Harry?

1797
01:28:58,440 --> 01:28:59,680
You made it!
Oh!

1798
01:29:01,440 --> 01:29:03,010
Oh, and you found Penny.

1799
01:29:03,960 --> 01:29:05,928
Hey, how do you
know my...

1800
01:29:06,000 --> 01:29:08,287
Oh! You're Harry?

1801
01:29:08,360 --> 01:29:10,362
Yes! And I'm your mother!

1802
01:29:13,200 --> 01:29:14,804
He's got a gun!

1803
01:30:09,240 --> 01:30:10,685
Why you standing
in the toilet?

1804
01:30:11,320 --> 01:30:12,845
So you wouldn't
see my feet.

1805
01:30:13,480 --> 01:30:14,925
Why not just
stand on the rim?

1806
01:30:15,040 --> 01:30:17,008
There's ball hairs
all over that thing.

1807
01:30:17,080 --> 01:30:18,206
I'm not stupid.

1808
01:30:20,080 --> 01:30:21,844
Get out of there!
Move it!

1809
01:30:22,320 --> 01:30:23,560
Now!

1810
01:30:24,520 --> 01:30:26,249
Please don't hurt Penny,
Mrs. P.

1811
01:30:26,320 --> 01:30:29,563
She's young and still has most
of her future ahead of her.

1812
01:30:29,680 --> 01:30:31,011
Get the box.

1813
01:30:33,400 --> 01:30:36,210
Harry! There you are!

1814
01:30:36,600 --> 01:30:39,206
Good thing you're loud.

1815
01:30:40,000 --> 01:30:41,525
What are you
doing, Mrs. P?

1816
01:30:41,600 --> 01:30:42,761
I'm about to kill you.

1817
01:30:43,040 --> 01:30:44,690
Wait, wait, wait!

1818
01:30:45,200 --> 01:30:46,531
Can't you kill
someone else?

1819
01:30:46,600 --> 01:30:48,045
My daughter, Penny,
needs me now.

1820
01:30:48,440 --> 01:30:50,560
What are you
talking about, Lloyd?
Penny's my daughter.

1821
01:30:50,880 --> 01:30:52,564
No, Harry, she isn't.
Mmm-mmm.

1822
01:30:52,800 --> 01:30:53,881
What?

1823
01:30:53,960 --> 01:30:56,122
Why would you think
that she's your daughter?

1824
01:30:56,600 --> 01:30:58,728
Because of the postcard.

1825
01:30:59,200 --> 01:31:01,726
I was about to be a single
mom and I needed money.

1826
01:31:01,880 --> 01:31:03,405
And you owed me 40 bucks

1827
01:31:03,520 --> 01:31:06,285
from that stupid
worm farm loan.

1828
01:31:07,200 --> 01:31:08,645
It's true, Har.

1829
01:31:09,560 --> 01:31:11,847
I'm the deadbeat dad,
not you.

1830
01:31:13,120 --> 01:31:14,804
I'm Penny's baby-papa.

1831
01:31:16,320 --> 01:31:18,084
But don't judge me
till you see this.

1832
01:31:18,400 --> 01:31:21,290
Oh, yeah, like a cooler
of cold brewskies

1833
01:31:21,360 --> 01:31:23,010
is gonna make
everything okay!

1834
01:31:23,120 --> 01:31:24,770
It's not beer,
it's my kidney!

1835
01:31:28,280 --> 01:31:29,566
Your kidney?

1836
01:31:30,560 --> 01:31:31,766
I figured

1837
01:31:32,920 --> 01:31:35,241
since you can't
get one from Penny,

1838
01:31:36,000 --> 01:31:37,411
I'd give it to you myself.

1839
01:31:38,120 --> 01:31:39,451
Holy shit.

1840
01:31:40,680 --> 01:31:42,091
How did you get this?

1841
01:31:42,480 --> 01:31:45,086
I crossed the border
into Mexico.

1842
01:31:45,520 --> 01:31:48,808
Turns out, the medical regs are
a little more chill down there.

1843
01:31:49,080 --> 01:31:51,890
Pardon me for bringing this
up, but I don't give a shit!

1844
01:31:51,960 --> 01:31:55,169
Yeah, but, Lloyd, she isn't
your daughter either.

1845
01:31:55,840 --> 01:31:57,569
Nice try, Fraida,

1846
01:31:57,640 --> 01:31:59,722
but Penny
read me the letter.

1847
01:31:59,800 --> 01:32:02,007
I know all about
Oyster Swallow Cove,

1848
01:32:02,120 --> 01:32:03,920
which is exactly where
you took me in the van!

1849
01:32:03,960 --> 01:32:05,041
So?

1850
01:32:05,200 --> 01:32:07,043
That was my spot.

1851
01:32:07,440 --> 01:32:10,205
I must have taken
hundreds of guys there.

1852
01:32:11,200 --> 01:32:12,361
What can I say?

1853
01:32:13,640 --> 01:32:15,449
I was a titanic whore.

1854
01:32:16,040 --> 01:32:17,804
That's enough bullshit.

1855
01:32:18,200 --> 01:32:19,804
Go ahead, Lippincott,
kill them.

1856
01:32:20,960 --> 01:32:22,121
Oh, I will.

1857
01:32:22,840 --> 01:32:25,491
But first, why don't
you join them.

1858
01:32:25,640 --> 01:32:26,687
What?

1859
01:32:26,800 --> 01:32:28,484
You heard me.
Drop it!

1860
01:32:28,560 --> 01:32:30,210
Get over there!
Get over there!

1861
01:32:30,280 --> 01:32:32,681
You're kidding.
She's on our team now?

1862
01:32:33,480 --> 01:32:34,766
Don't do this, Lippincott.

1863
01:32:34,840 --> 01:32:35,966
You're a military man.

1864
01:32:36,320 --> 01:32:38,129
I know you've got
more integrity than this!

1865
01:32:41,120 --> 01:32:42,326
What is this?

1866
01:32:42,560 --> 01:32:43,561
Huh?

1867
01:32:43,960 --> 01:32:45,371
Two cupcakes?

1868
01:32:45,960 --> 01:32:47,520
Actually, there were
four cupcakes, sir.

1869
01:32:47,880 --> 01:32:49,803
I ate the two chocolate ones.
Lloyd!

1870
01:32:49,880 --> 01:32:52,167
It's okay. I left the
vanilla ones for humanity.

1871
01:32:52,240 --> 01:32:53,810
Where's the invention?

1872
01:32:54,320 --> 01:32:56,800
Where's the goddamn
billion-dollar invention?

1873
01:32:58,040 --> 01:32:59,883
Put the gun down!
Freeze!

1874
01:33:00,000 --> 01:33:01,684
Put the gun down,
Lippincott!

1875
01:33:06,840 --> 01:33:08,729
Well! Hello.

1876
01:33:08,840 --> 01:33:09,887
Dad!

1877
01:33:10,000 --> 01:33:12,810
Bernard. Oh, thank
God you're here.

1878
01:33:12,880 --> 01:33:14,325
God, and you're okay!

1879
01:33:14,520 --> 01:33:15,851
Stop right there.

1880
01:33:15,920 --> 01:33:16,967
What?

1881
01:33:17,040 --> 01:33:18,405
I appreciate
your concern, Adele,

1882
01:33:18,480 --> 01:33:20,323
but it's a little
late for that.

1883
01:33:20,400 --> 01:33:21,561
You see...

1884
01:33:21,680 --> 01:33:22,680
I couldn't stop wondering

1885
01:33:22,720 --> 01:33:25,007
why every time
I ate your cooking,
I was getting sicker.

1886
01:33:25,360 --> 01:33:26,725
And then when Harry
and Lloyd showed me

1887
01:33:26,800 --> 01:33:28,240
the letter from
Penny's birth mother,

1888
01:33:28,320 --> 01:33:29,845
I recognized that
the handwriting

1889
01:33:29,920 --> 01:33:31,809
sending it back
was yours.

1890
01:33:32,040 --> 01:33:33,724
And the cruelty of this
got me to thinking.

1891
01:33:34,240 --> 01:33:37,881
So l laid a little trap,
and lo and behold,
you took the bait

1892
01:33:38,040 --> 01:33:40,008
like the toe-sucking
rat that you are.

1893
01:33:41,000 --> 01:33:42,161
After you left for El Paso,

1894
01:33:42,240 --> 01:33:44,686
I called the FBI to make
sure Penny was protected.

1895
01:33:44,760 --> 01:33:47,047
I thought those Canadian
accents were a little shaky.

1896
01:33:47,160 --> 01:33:49,049
Yeah? You try it.

1897
01:33:49,720 --> 01:33:51,370
But what about
the invention?

1898
01:33:51,720 --> 01:33:53,848
It was just cupcakes.

1899
01:33:54,160 --> 01:33:56,208
A gift for
Dr. Barbara Walcott

1900
01:33:56,280 --> 01:33:58,169
for my having canceled
at the last moment.

1901
01:33:58,240 --> 01:33:59,526
This is great, Dad!

1902
01:33:59,600 --> 01:34:02,410
Now you can pick up
your Lifetime Achievement
reward in person!

1903
01:34:02,520 --> 01:34:04,727
It's "award,"
you stupid bitch!

1904
01:34:05,240 --> 01:34:06,287
No!

1905
01:34:14,560 --> 01:34:16,289
Break it up! Get off!

1906
01:34:16,400 --> 01:34:18,448
Hands behind your back.
Hands behind your back.

1907
01:34:18,560 --> 01:34:20,801
I'm the good guy here!
All right.

1908
01:34:21,960 --> 01:34:23,769
Are you okay, Har?

1909
01:34:24,040 --> 01:34:25,246
I think so.

1910
01:34:31,240 --> 01:34:33,561
Oh, yeah,
it's just a little graze.

1911
01:34:34,080 --> 01:34:36,082
Uh, Har?

1912
01:34:36,240 --> 01:34:38,686
You might wanna put
a dab of Bactine on that.

1913
01:34:42,480 --> 01:34:43,606
Hurry, he's been shot!

1914
01:34:43,680 --> 01:34:44,681
We need a trauma room.

1915
01:34:44,760 --> 01:34:46,444
You're gonna be okay.
What have we got?

1916
01:34:46,560 --> 01:34:48,483
Gunshot wound,
left shoulder.

1917
01:34:48,960 --> 01:34:50,200
Lloyd, the kidney!

1918
01:34:50,280 --> 01:34:51,406
Kidney?

1919
01:34:51,480 --> 01:34:52,606
Oh, yeah.

1920
01:34:52,680 --> 01:34:54,762
Would you, by any chance,
have time this evening

1921
01:34:55,000 --> 01:34:56,365
to swap out a kidney?

1922
01:34:56,440 --> 01:34:58,249
I'm sorry, sir.
What is this?

1923
01:34:58,640 --> 01:35:00,768
It's a kidney.
My kidney.

1924
01:35:01,240 --> 01:35:02,730
It's for him,

1925
01:35:02,840 --> 01:35:04,888
my best pal.
Ah!

1926
01:35:04,960 --> 01:35:05,961
He needs it.

1927
01:35:07,400 --> 01:35:09,687
Gentlemen,
this is not a kidney.

1928
01:35:10,440 --> 01:35:11,680
What is it?

1929
01:35:12,120 --> 01:35:13,849
- Better not be my heart.
- No.

1930
01:35:14,680 --> 01:35:17,126
I believe it's a pork chop.

1931
01:35:17,480 --> 01:35:19,005
In a baggie.

1932
01:35:20,080 --> 01:35:23,527
I wondered why my
kidney had grill marks.

1933
01:35:24,080 --> 01:35:25,764
And a bone.

1934
01:35:26,520 --> 01:35:27,646
Hey, wait.

1935
01:35:27,800 --> 01:35:30,201
Does that mean I still
have all my kidneys?

1936
01:35:31,000 --> 01:35:32,161
Let's have a look.

1937
01:35:33,080 --> 01:35:34,081
Ah.

1938
01:35:35,320 --> 01:35:36,970
I'm going to say
probably not.

1939
01:35:38,640 --> 01:35:39,801
That's it.

1940
01:35:40,000 --> 01:35:42,526
I am gonna give
that quack an earful

1941
01:35:42,680 --> 01:35:45,001
at my follow-up
appointment next Tuesday.

1942
01:35:46,320 --> 01:35:48,163
I'm sorry, Harry.

1943
01:35:48,360 --> 01:35:50,044
I failed you again!

1944
01:35:51,880 --> 01:35:53,450
It's okay, Lloyd.

1945
01:35:53,600 --> 01:35:55,682
I forgive you.

1946
01:35:58,840 --> 01:36:00,171
What's so funny?

1947
01:36:00,840 --> 01:36:02,171
Got ya!

1948
01:36:04,360 --> 01:36:06,408
I never needed a kidney!

1949
01:36:09,360 --> 01:36:10,361
What?

1950
01:36:10,520 --> 01:36:12,682
Oh, you should have seen
the look on your face!

1951
01:36:12,800 --> 01:36:15,201
I got you so good!

1952
01:36:16,680 --> 01:36:18,205
Wait a minute.

1953
01:36:18,360 --> 01:36:19,725
You mean,

1954
01:36:19,880 --> 01:36:22,929
I had my kidney removed

1955
01:36:23,400 --> 01:36:25,641
in the backseat
of a Toyota Tercel

1956
01:36:26,080 --> 01:36:28,162
and you were faking?
Uh-huh.

1957
01:36:29,880 --> 01:36:31,484
That is awesome!

1958
01:36:34,040 --> 01:36:35,690
That is a good one.

1959
01:36:37,600 --> 01:36:39,364
Totally worth it!

1960
01:36:40,840 --> 01:36:43,002
Gentlemen, I hate to break
up this Mensa summit,

1961
01:36:43,080 --> 01:36:44,650
but we've gotta get this
man's shoulder cleaned out.

1962
01:36:44,720 --> 01:36:46,040
Do you remember,
you've been shot?

1963
01:36:46,720 --> 01:36:48,688
That was a good
gag, Harry.

1964
01:36:50,080 --> 01:36:52,367
But don't you think it still
would have been funny

1965
01:36:52,560 --> 01:36:55,928
if you had told me you were kidding
before I lost my vital organ?

1966
01:36:56,080 --> 01:36:58,811
Oh, definitely.
But not as!

1967
01:37:03,720 --> 01:37:05,210
That's true.

1968
01:37:17,600 --> 01:37:19,523
You guys are so cool.

1969
01:37:19,600 --> 01:37:21,967
How can I ever thank you
for what you did for me?

1970
01:37:22,080 --> 01:37:23,605
Got any cash?

1971
01:37:23,920 --> 01:37:25,160
Oh, yeah.

1972
01:37:25,240 --> 01:37:26,446
I think
I've got a couple...

1973
01:37:26,960 --> 01:37:28,041
Thanks.

1974
01:37:28,600 --> 01:37:30,045
Score.

1975
01:37:38,520 --> 01:37:39,646
Oh, uh...

1976
01:37:40,160 --> 01:37:42,811
I'm sure those janitors
will thank us later. Mmm.

1977
01:37:43,120 --> 01:37:45,040
We were just straightening
up their broom closet.

1978
01:37:45,360 --> 01:37:46,691
Penny,
wonderful news!

1979
01:37:47,120 --> 01:37:50,283
Your father has invited me to
come stay with you for a while,

1980
01:37:50,440 --> 01:37:52,602
so we can really get
to know each other.

1981
01:37:52,880 --> 01:37:54,530
That's fantastic!

1982
01:37:55,280 --> 01:37:57,123
So let me ask you
something, Fraida.

1983
01:37:57,440 --> 01:38:00,284
If I'm not Penny's father
and Lloyd's not her father,

1984
01:38:00,400 --> 01:38:02,050
then who's her father?

1985
01:38:02,480 --> 01:38:03,925
Funny you should ask.

1986
01:38:04,200 --> 01:38:05,406
Honey,

1987
01:38:05,560 --> 01:38:08,564
how would you like to
meet some relatives?

1988
01:38:12,120 --> 01:38:13,770
Mr. Stainer?

1989
01:38:14,280 --> 01:38:15,566
Oh, I should have known.

1990
01:38:15,720 --> 01:38:17,882
You horny, old goat!

1991
01:38:17,960 --> 01:38:19,610
No, Lloyd!

1992
01:38:20,160 --> 01:38:22,640
Mr. Stainer is
Penny's grandfather.

1993
01:38:22,800 --> 01:38:24,131
Come on.

1994
01:38:26,160 --> 01:38:29,562
So, you mean
Pee-Stain is the dad?

1995
01:38:30,560 --> 01:38:31,800
Duh!

1996
01:38:38,480 --> 01:38:39,925
Hi!

1997
01:38:40,000 --> 01:38:41,161
Oh...

1998
01:38:41,840 --> 01:38:43,604
She's beautiful!

1999
01:38:44,240 --> 01:38:45,844
Sweet Jesus,
look at her.

2000
01:38:46,760 --> 01:38:48,410
She's got Peter's eyes.

2001
01:38:48,480 --> 01:38:49,481
You're kidding!

2002
01:38:49,600 --> 01:38:51,170
He donated them?

2003
01:38:52,280 --> 01:38:53,520
Hi, Pee-Stain!

2004
01:38:53,680 --> 01:38:55,125
Stainy!

2005
01:38:55,600 --> 01:38:57,921
Hey, sorry
you got killed!

2006
01:38:58,680 --> 01:39:01,684
Let's get you away
from these guys, huh?
Let's go.

2007
01:39:01,840 --> 01:39:03,046
Yeah.

2008
01:39:04,520 --> 01:39:08,127
Guys, there's still one
thing I don't understand.

2009
01:39:08,680 --> 01:39:12,446
How could either of you
have possibly thought

2010
01:39:12,520 --> 01:39:14,443
that you were
Penny's father?

2011
01:39:15,200 --> 01:39:17,521
Why wouldn't we?
Yeah!

2012
01:39:17,880 --> 01:39:19,530
Because we never had sex.

2013
01:39:19,760 --> 01:39:21,046
Oh.

2014
01:39:25,280 --> 01:39:27,044
You could have fooled us.

2015
01:39:27,160 --> 01:39:28,650
Yeah, nice try,
Snow White.

2016
01:39:28,720 --> 01:39:31,200
Does the word "hot tub"
jog your memory?

2017
01:39:31,400 --> 01:39:32,447
If I recall,

2018
01:39:32,520 --> 01:39:34,807
I played with your boobies
for a long time that night.

2019
01:39:34,880 --> 01:39:35,961
The motor boat,

2020
01:39:36,040 --> 01:39:37,246
the windshield wipers,

2021
01:39:37,320 --> 01:39:38,560
the punching bag.

2022
01:39:38,720 --> 01:39:39,801
You know, Harry,

2023
01:39:39,880 --> 01:39:42,884
you can't get a woman pregnant
by man-handling her breasts.

2024
01:39:43,080 --> 01:39:44,081
Oh, really?

2025
01:39:44,160 --> 01:39:46,561
Then why did your
doorbells get so hard?

2026
01:39:46,800 --> 01:39:49,167
Yeah. And did you forget
about the French tickler,

2027
01:39:49,240 --> 01:39:50,480
in the back of the van?

2028
01:39:50,560 --> 01:39:54,326
Putting a frilly,
glow-in-the-dark
condom on your finger

2029
01:39:54,400 --> 01:39:56,402
is not the same
as having sex.

2030
01:39:56,560 --> 01:39:57,641
But what if
I go like this?

2031
01:39:59,360 --> 01:40:00,407
No.

2032
01:40:00,480 --> 01:40:03,882
Okay, Dr. Picasso, what's
your definition of sex?

2033
01:40:08,840 --> 01:40:10,251
No way!

2034
01:40:10,520 --> 01:40:11,760
That's just...

2035
01:40:11,920 --> 01:40:13,206
Not my mom!

2036
01:40:13,360 --> 01:40:14,600
But that's where
she pees!

2037
01:40:14,680 --> 01:40:17,923
It's in my head
and I can't unlearn it!

2038
01:40:18,160 --> 01:40:19,605
You're bad!

2039
01:40:19,680 --> 01:40:20,761
Can you show us?

2040
01:40:20,840 --> 01:40:22,444
I call sloppy seconds!

2041
01:40:26,440 --> 01:40:29,410
Looks like everyone else
ended up with someone.

2042
01:40:29,960 --> 01:40:31,041
Yep-

2043
01:40:31,120 --> 01:40:32,531
And I got this pork chop.

2044
01:40:34,080 --> 01:40:35,730
So let me get
this straight, Har.

2045
01:40:36,080 --> 01:40:38,606
When you visited me in the
nuthouse the last time...

2046
01:40:38,720 --> 01:40:40,240
Uh-huh... you knew
about Penny already?

2047
01:40:40,280 --> 01:40:42,521
No, I found out about her
when we visited my parents.

2048
01:40:42,640 --> 01:40:45,450
But I had finally figured
out that you were faking.

2049
01:40:45,640 --> 01:40:47,051
Really? How?
Mmm-hmm.

2050
01:40:47,120 --> 01:40:48,121
What gave it away?

2051
01:40:48,240 --> 01:40:50,891
A few months ago,
I was changing your
diaper before bedtime

2052
01:40:50,960 --> 01:40:53,964
and you just seemed
a little too upbeat.

2053
01:40:55,800 --> 01:40:57,131
Lloyd,

2054
01:40:57,320 --> 01:40:59,402
even though
it's Christmas Eve,

2055
01:40:59,760 --> 01:41:02,570
I want you to know
that there's no place
I would rather be

2056
01:41:02,640 --> 01:41:05,564
than right here, wiping
my best friend's dookie.

2057
01:41:07,680 --> 01:41:08,681
Oh.

2058
01:41:08,800 --> 01:41:11,121
Looks like we got
another stocking stuffer.

2059
01:41:15,280 --> 01:41:16,770
I remember that.

2060
01:41:17,160 --> 01:41:19,606
That was the night
I had all that eggnog
and lamb, right?

2061
01:41:19,800 --> 01:41:20,847
Yeah. Whoa!

2062
01:41:21,320 --> 01:41:22,401
Lloyd!

2063
01:41:26,000 --> 01:41:28,401
Check out the hotties
at 12 o'clock.

2064
01:41:28,760 --> 01:41:30,410
That's almost
three hours away.

2065
01:41:30,520 --> 01:41:32,170
Can't I check
them out now?

2066
01:41:40,840 --> 01:41:41,921
Okay, Lloyd,

2067
01:41:42,000 --> 01:41:45,083
This time we're not gonna be
stupid and pass up a sure thing.

2068
01:41:45,200 --> 01:41:46,645
I hear you, Har.

2069
01:41:47,440 --> 01:41:49,124
We'll never get
another chance like this.

2070
01:41:49,200 --> 01:41:51,521
Our time
has finally come.

2071
01:41:59,120 --> 01:42:00,485
Bush club!

2072
01:48:46,440 --> 01:48:47,601
Oh, crap!

2073
01:48:48,080 --> 01:48:50,526
I ordered a vanilla shake and
they gave me a chocolate one.

2074
01:48:50,600 --> 01:48:52,568
Tell me about it. I ordered
a chocolate shake.

2075
01:48:52,640 --> 01:48:54,529
Those dopes gave me
a vanilla one.

2076
01:48:54,640 --> 01:48:56,290
They do that a lot.

2077
01:48:58,440 --> 01:48:59,771
What the hell?

2078
01:49:01,680 --> 01:49:03,250
Kick his ass, Seabass!

2079
01:49:03,680 --> 01:49:05,240
Arr, the dirty
sons-of-bitches!

2079
01:49:06,305 --> 01:49:12,939
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