1 00:50:35,586 --> 00:50:37,671 [IN RUSSIAN] 2 00:50:55,147 --> 00:50:57,107 [IN KOREAN] 3 00:50:58,150 --> 00:50:59,484 [YELLS] 4 00:51:17,461 --> 00:51:19,796 [IN ARABIC] 5 00:51:21,757 --> 00:51:23,633 [IN ARABIC] 6 00:51:34,437 --> 00:51:37,939 [ABBA'S "TAKE A CHANCE ON ME" PLAYS ON HEADPHONES] 7 00:52:07,219 --> 00:52:10,513 WOMAN: And this display is all that's left of CONTROL, a secret spy agency... 8 00:52:10,681 --> 00:52:14,350 ...which once battled against the criminal syndicate known as KAOS. 9 00:52:14,518 --> 00:52:17,270 CONTROL was disbanded at the end of the Cold War. 10 00:52:17,688 --> 00:52:20,690 Okay, up next, an exhibit.... 11 00:53:02,024 --> 00:53:04,067 [BEEPING] 12 00:53:27,132 --> 00:53:31,427 Judy, the elevator is still doing that thing where it drops really fast. 13 00:53:31,595 --> 00:53:33,263 Are you sure Maintenance fixed that? 14 00:53:33,430 --> 00:53:34,764 Let me check. 15 00:53:34,932 --> 00:53:36,683 Yep, they fixed it. 16 00:53:38,602 --> 00:53:39,936 See you later. 17 00:53:42,982 --> 00:53:44,774 -Hey, Max. MAX: Agent 50. 18 00:53:45,109 --> 00:53:46,109 [FLY BUZZING] 19 00:53:46,277 --> 00:53:48,403 16 floors down, how'd a fly even get in here? 20 00:53:48,571 --> 00:53:49,946 -Hey, Max. -Max! 21 00:53:50,114 --> 00:53:51,447 Hey, Larabee, 91. 22 00:53:51,615 --> 00:53:55,159 Yeah, big day. Could be your last chance to push a pencil. 23 00:53:55,327 --> 00:53:57,161 Field-agent test results are due. 24 00:53:57,329 --> 00:54:01,457 Oh. Is that today? I wasn't really thinking about it. 25 00:54:01,625 --> 00:54:04,043 Can you imagine Max as an agent? Little suit, little shoes. 26 00:54:04,211 --> 00:54:05,837 [LAUGHING] 27 00:54:06,005 --> 00:54:07,005 Uh-oh. Two-nerd pile-up. 28 00:54:07,172 --> 00:54:08,172 [IMITATES CARS CRASHING] 29 00:54:08,340 --> 00:54:10,466 -Move! -Ow! 30 00:54:10,634 --> 00:54:13,428 Pretty boys. Nothing but empty suits. 31 00:54:13,596 --> 00:54:16,639 -Good morning, Bruce, Lloyd. -Why would you wanna be an agent? 32 00:54:16,807 --> 00:54:20,560 I mean, lab guys like us, analysts like you, we're the real soldiers. 33 00:54:20,728 --> 00:54:23,104 BRUCE: We're the true guardians of freedom and democracy. 34 00:54:23,272 --> 00:54:25,732 And I hear we're getting a new cappuccino machine. 35 00:54:25,900 --> 00:54:27,317 No, that's only for agents. 36 00:54:27,943 --> 00:54:29,068 Oh. 37 00:54:41,290 --> 00:54:43,875 MAN: Hey, Agent 23 is back. 38 00:54:53,177 --> 00:54:55,011 Thank you. Thank you, thank you. 39 00:54:55,679 --> 00:54:57,597 -Welcome back, 23. -Maxie. 40 00:54:57,765 --> 00:54:59,641 So how was the assassination? 41 00:54:59,808 --> 00:55:02,602 Maxie, you know assassinations are specifically prohibited... 42 00:55:02,770 --> 00:55:04,646 ...by executive order 12333. 43 00:55:05,940 --> 00:55:07,941 [ALL LAUGHING] 44 00:55:08,442 --> 00:55:09,776 23, you kill me. 45 00:55:09,944 --> 00:55:12,195 -I could if I wanted to. -Yes, you-- Oh. Oh! 46 00:55:12,363 --> 00:55:14,864 Did you see that face he made? Scary. 47 00:55:17,868 --> 00:55:21,204 Six months' work. 18 million dollars. 48 00:55:22,581 --> 00:55:24,540 Fricking agents, man. 49 00:55:24,708 --> 00:55:26,042 MAN: Come on, let's see it. 50 00:55:26,210 --> 00:55:31,005 MAX: A lot of chatter in this region involves nuclear material. 51 00:55:31,173 --> 00:55:34,717 You may remember from page 627 of my last report... 52 00:55:34,885 --> 00:55:37,679 ...that there has been an uptick in KAOS interest in nukes. 53 00:55:37,846 --> 00:55:39,722 [BEEPING] 54 00:55:39,890 --> 00:55:42,725 To wit, I offer the following conversation. 55 00:55:42,893 --> 00:55:45,061 What are you doing? Are you texting? 56 00:55:45,229 --> 00:55:48,481 Yeah, letting my fiancée know we won't be able to get married in June. 57 00:55:48,649 --> 00:55:50,233 I'll still be in this meeting. 58 00:55:51,151 --> 00:55:52,735 AGENT 23: Can I see that a second? -Yeah. 59 00:55:53,153 --> 00:55:54,195 That's great. 60 00:55:54,363 --> 00:55:55,363 [CRACKING] 61 00:55:55,531 --> 00:55:57,573 That's weird. You lost your signal. 62 00:55:57,741 --> 00:55:59,742 Sorry to interrupt, Maxie, go ahead. 63 00:56:00,244 --> 00:56:02,495 Next time use your own damn phone. 64 00:56:03,831 --> 00:56:05,915 Good morning, men. No, offense, Karen. 65 00:56:06,083 --> 00:56:07,375 Snappy tie. 66 00:56:07,543 --> 00:56:10,336 Sorry I'm late, but I just came out of a budget meeting... 67 00:56:10,504 --> 00:56:14,507 ...with our incredibly abrasive, dismissive and sarcastic vice president. 68 00:56:14,675 --> 00:56:15,842 MAX: It's no problem. 69 00:56:16,010 --> 00:56:21,014 I have obtained a snippet, at great risk to a busboy in Balahd. 70 00:56:22,599 --> 00:56:24,600 [MAN SPEAKING IN PUNJABI ON RECORDING] 71 00:56:24,768 --> 00:56:27,020 "Aftab, how is your coffee?" 72 00:56:27,980 --> 00:56:30,857 "Good, Dalip, it's decaf. 73 00:56:31,692 --> 00:56:32,984 How is yours?" 74 00:56:34,194 --> 00:56:36,279 "It is good also. 75 00:56:36,655 --> 00:56:38,990 How is your muffin?" 76 00:56:40,534 --> 00:56:41,909 Powerful stuff. 77 00:56:42,286 --> 00:56:44,746 So "muffin," then, is a code word? 78 00:56:44,913 --> 00:56:46,581 No, it is comfort food... 79 00:56:46,749 --> 00:56:49,625 ...and quite frankly, more fattening than most people realize. 80 00:56:49,793 --> 00:56:51,169 Which begs the question... 81 00:56:51,336 --> 00:56:55,506 ...why would two hardened KAOS agents... 82 00:56:55,674 --> 00:56:58,468 ...risk the carbs? 83 00:56:59,470 --> 00:57:01,971 Because they are under a great deal of stress. 84 00:57:02,139 --> 00:57:03,806 -Hence the decaf. -For Aftab, yes. 85 00:57:03,974 --> 00:57:06,350 Dalip takes his full-strength. Why? 86 00:57:06,518 --> 00:57:09,312 Because he has been sleeping on the couch for three days... 87 00:57:09,480 --> 00:57:12,815 ...because he called his sister-in-law a "leathery hag." 88 00:57:12,983 --> 00:57:15,818 People often say things in anger they don't really mean. 89 00:57:15,986 --> 00:57:19,989 Leathery hag, fat cow, ungrateful whore. 90 00:57:20,157 --> 00:57:24,994 Just words, really, that shouldn't be used against you in a custody hearing. 91 00:57:25,496 --> 00:57:28,748 Let it go, man. Those kids don't even look like you. 92 00:57:29,208 --> 00:57:30,833 Can we put a pin in this, please... 93 00:57:31,001 --> 00:57:33,795 ...and go back to Max's extraordinarily detailed report? 94 00:57:33,962 --> 00:57:35,713 Thank you, Chief. All I'm saying is... 95 00:57:35,881 --> 00:57:38,758 ...that until we understand that our enemies are also human... 96 00:57:38,926 --> 00:57:40,593 ...we will never defeat them. 97 00:57:40,761 --> 00:57:46,432 Yes, they are bad guys, but that is what they do, not who they are. 98 00:57:46,725 --> 00:57:48,518 Let's continue listening... 99 00:57:48,685 --> 00:57:52,522 ...and bear in mind that the next 100 pages can get a little bit dry. 100 00:57:52,689 --> 00:57:54,524 MAN: Come on.... 101 00:58:06,078 --> 00:58:09,080 Easy, Durat! This stuff is radioactive. 102 00:58:09,248 --> 00:58:11,207 One slip-up, and it's "ka-fricking-boom!" 103 00:58:11,375 --> 00:58:12,542 MAN: Shtarker. 104 00:58:13,877 --> 00:58:17,797 This is KAOS. We don't "ka-fricking-boom" here. 105 00:58:18,298 --> 00:58:19,924 Sorry, Mr. Siegfried. 106 00:58:20,092 --> 00:58:23,553 Get it in the truck, and let's burn this place to the ground. 107 00:58:23,720 --> 00:58:26,222 But if we have what we want, why burn the building? 108 00:58:33,564 --> 00:58:35,857 Any more questions? 109 00:58:59,923 --> 00:59:01,090 Missed me! 110 00:59:01,258 --> 00:59:02,925 [LAUGHS] 111 00:59:03,427 --> 00:59:06,512 All right! All right! I'm out! 112 00:59:06,680 --> 00:59:08,681 He was lying, Max. It was a good shot. 113 00:59:08,849 --> 00:59:10,141 Thanks. 114 00:59:10,309 --> 00:59:13,019 I am so sick of training. I wanna get out in the field. 115 00:59:13,187 --> 00:59:16,939 AGENT 91: Give it up, 23! It's just you and Maxi-pad against the six of us. 116 00:59:17,107 --> 00:59:20,359 Oh, gee, Maxi-pad, I've never heard that one before! 117 00:59:20,777 --> 00:59:22,778 I never have actually heard that before. 118 00:59:24,531 --> 00:59:26,157 [YELLS] 119 00:59:29,786 --> 00:59:30,995 23, you're bleeding. 120 00:59:31,455 --> 00:59:35,082 It's a knife wound from the last mission. My blood gets pumping, it seeps. 121 00:59:35,250 --> 00:59:36,626 LARABEE: Hey, Maxine! 122 00:59:36,793 --> 00:59:39,503 Come over here and we'll play a game I like to call: 123 00:59:39,671 --> 00:59:41,547 "Let's Go to the Dog Show." 124 00:59:41,715 --> 00:59:43,841 I put a collar on you and make you my bi--! 125 00:59:44,009 --> 00:59:45,134 [GUNSHOT] 126 00:59:45,302 --> 00:59:47,094 [LARABEE GROANING] 127 00:59:48,722 --> 00:59:50,890 I think I really got inside his head. 128 00:59:51,058 --> 00:59:52,725 I am not proud of what I just did. 129 00:59:52,893 --> 00:59:54,518 Game over, Chatty Cathy. 130 00:59:56,438 --> 00:59:58,564 [GRUNTING] 131 01:00:00,150 --> 01:00:02,526 Game over when I say it's over. 132 01:00:02,986 --> 01:00:04,487 -Okay. -Wet willy. 133 01:00:06,323 --> 01:00:07,990 Okay. Who wants lunch? 134 01:00:08,158 --> 01:00:11,535 Well, excellent work, 23, but I could've handled it my-- 135 01:00:11,870 --> 01:00:12,912 [MAN GRUNTS] 136 01:00:13,080 --> 01:00:14,497 [EARS RINGING] 137 01:00:14,665 --> 01:00:18,084 -Max, the Chief wants to see you. -It is nice to see you too! 138 01:00:25,509 --> 01:00:26,884 You wanted to see me, Chief? 139 01:00:27,052 --> 01:00:29,512 Yes, Max, yes, please, sit down. 140 01:00:29,680 --> 01:00:33,224 Your field-agent test results just came in and-- 141 01:00:34,643 --> 01:00:37,311 -Something wrong with your ear? -Absolutely not. 142 01:00:37,479 --> 01:00:39,897 Would you like me to wait while you answer that? 143 01:00:40,065 --> 01:00:41,190 Answer what? 144 01:00:41,358 --> 01:00:43,276 Nothing. You were saying? 145 01:00:43,443 --> 01:00:45,861 I was saying the results are quite extraordinary. 146 01:00:46,029 --> 01:00:49,031 In fact, your essay on existentialism was quite amazing. 147 01:00:49,199 --> 01:00:50,700 I left that section blank. 148 01:00:50,867 --> 01:00:52,702 Blank? Brilliant. 149 01:00:52,869 --> 01:00:54,370 Brilliant, Max. 150 01:00:54,538 --> 01:00:57,206 -You passed with flying colors. -Yes! 151 01:00:57,374 --> 01:00:59,875 You know what, sir? I can't say that I am shocked. 152 01:01:00,043 --> 01:01:02,753 I felt good about this year's test, in light of the fact... 153 01:01:02,921 --> 01:01:05,631 ...that in previous years, my fitness has been an issue. 154 01:01:13,140 --> 01:01:14,181 Personal best. 155 01:01:14,349 --> 01:01:17,226 But not anymore. I'm ready for duty. 156 01:01:17,394 --> 01:01:19,562 I know how hard you've prepared for this... 157 01:01:19,730 --> 01:01:21,522 ...and how much this means to you... 158 01:01:21,690 --> 01:01:23,858 ...but I'm afraid I can't promote you. 159 01:01:24,026 --> 01:01:27,570 -What? -I can't afford to give up my best analyst. 160 01:01:27,738 --> 01:01:30,906 I mean, the amount of chatter you get through, and the reports... 161 01:01:31,074 --> 01:01:33,242 ...I mean, they go way beyond the raw data. 162 01:01:33,910 --> 01:01:39,999 So to be clear, you're not promoting me, because I do such a great job. 163 01:01:40,834 --> 01:01:44,253 Max, the way you and I work is becoming a lost art form. 164 01:01:44,421 --> 01:01:47,256 I spend half my days trying to convince the vice president... 165 01:01:47,424 --> 01:01:50,217 ...that intelligence comes from humans and not satellites. 166 01:01:50,385 --> 01:01:53,804 Men with hunches, that's where the real work gets done. 167 01:01:53,972 --> 01:01:55,931 I'm very proud of you, Max... 168 01:01:56,433 --> 01:01:58,601 ...very proud of you... 169 01:01:58,769 --> 01:02:00,644 ...but I need you where you are. 170 01:02:24,628 --> 01:02:26,962 MAX: I am sorry, but we can never be. 171 01:02:27,130 --> 01:02:31,133 Despite today's setback, I will at some point become a field agent... 172 01:02:31,301 --> 01:02:32,593 ...and when that happens... 173 01:02:32,761 --> 01:02:36,013 ...one phone call could take me to the other side of the world. 174 01:02:36,640 --> 01:02:40,476 Who am I kidding? I'm a middle-aged man who's missed the train. 175 01:02:41,144 --> 01:02:44,772 You don't deserve this. I don't deserve you. 176 01:02:44,940 --> 01:02:47,400 You're so young and so full of life. 177 01:02:48,485 --> 01:02:49,610 Don't do it, Fang. 178 01:02:50,487 --> 01:02:51,779 Don't love me. 179 01:02:51,947 --> 01:02:53,531 [GRUNTING] 180 01:02:54,282 --> 01:02:55,574 MAX: Here. 181 01:02:55,742 --> 01:02:57,701 -Oh, great. -Sorry. 182 01:02:57,869 --> 01:03:00,329 That was my last mile. I have no idea how fast it was. 183 01:03:00,497 --> 01:03:02,832 You were moving. It's not easy to knock me down. 184 01:03:02,999 --> 01:03:05,251 I have a low center of gravity. Pretty solid. 185 01:03:05,419 --> 01:03:07,753 I'm just gonna call that one a 4:50. 186 01:03:07,921 --> 01:03:11,924 Impressive. I once ran a 5:16. 187 01:03:12,092 --> 01:03:14,969 Oh, really? That's, uh, slower. 188 01:03:15,137 --> 01:03:16,637 Not everything's a competition. 189 01:03:16,888 --> 01:03:18,639 Well, if it were, I'd win. 190 01:03:18,807 --> 01:03:21,016 Ah. Are you flirting with me? 191 01:03:22,060 --> 01:03:24,186 Not at all. Are you flirting with me? 192 01:03:24,354 --> 01:03:26,105 That depends. Is it working? 193 01:03:26,648 --> 01:03:28,482 Not at all. 194 01:03:28,650 --> 01:03:31,110 Well, nice meeting you! I admire your focus! 195 01:03:31,278 --> 01:03:33,028 [YELLS] 196 01:03:34,698 --> 01:03:36,323 Am I invisible? 197 01:03:48,420 --> 01:03:51,130 [ALARM WAILING] 198 01:04:12,194 --> 01:04:14,987 Bruce, Lloyd, what happened? 199 01:04:15,155 --> 01:04:17,698 And what is that ungodly smell? 200 01:04:18,074 --> 01:04:19,366 Fear. 201 01:04:21,077 --> 01:04:22,411 I'll be back. 202 01:04:22,579 --> 01:04:23,996 [ELECTRICITY BUZZING] 203 01:04:28,543 --> 01:04:29,627 AGENT 99: Freeze. 204 01:04:29,794 --> 01:04:31,086 Freeze. 205 01:04:31,755 --> 01:04:33,255 -No, you freeze. -You freeze. 206 01:04:33,423 --> 01:04:35,591 -I told you to freeze. -Freeze times infinity. 207 01:04:35,759 --> 01:04:37,051 Oh, my God. 208 01:04:37,844 --> 01:04:39,261 -You. -You. 209 01:04:39,429 --> 01:04:41,222 -Are you CONTROL? -I'm Maxwell Smart. 210 01:04:41,389 --> 01:04:43,349 I am a CONTROL analyst. Who are you? 211 01:04:45,101 --> 01:04:46,685 I'm Agent 99. 212 01:04:46,853 --> 01:04:50,064 Oh, my word. You are Agent 99? 213 01:04:50,232 --> 01:04:52,942 -I am a huge fan! -Thank you. 214 01:04:53,109 --> 01:04:54,860 [CLATTERING] 215 01:05:03,495 --> 01:05:05,246 What are you doing? 216 01:05:05,956 --> 01:05:07,456 I'm right here, just talk to me! 217 01:05:07,624 --> 01:05:10,042 I'm going to cause a diversion. You run and get help. 218 01:05:10,210 --> 01:05:12,169 -I really don't think that that's a-- -Shh. 219 01:05:12,337 --> 01:05:14,296 -Did you just--? -Shh! 220 01:05:32,482 --> 01:05:33,649 Go, go, go! 221 01:05:34,150 --> 01:05:35,192 MAN 1: Wait! 222 01:05:37,654 --> 01:05:38,988 MAN 2: Somebody shut it off! 223 01:05:46,997 --> 01:05:49,748 MAX: Good, 23, just in time. I think I got one of them. 224 01:05:51,793 --> 01:05:53,377 Is that the Chief? 225 01:05:54,838 --> 01:05:56,463 AGENT 99: Yes, it is. 226 01:05:56,631 --> 01:05:57,840 Sorry about that, Chief. 227 01:05:58,466 --> 01:06:00,467 Is that a dent in his head? 228 01:06:10,103 --> 01:06:12,438 [WHISTLES] 229 01:06:17,360 --> 01:06:19,028 Hi. Hi. 230 01:06:19,195 --> 01:06:22,031 Agent 13, you are in a tree. 231 01:06:22,198 --> 01:06:25,492 Yeah, communications got knocked down, so they put me in a tree. 232 01:06:25,660 --> 01:06:27,661 -Old-school stuff. -Glad to see you're okay. 233 01:06:27,829 --> 01:06:28,871 Yeah, yeah. 234 01:06:29,372 --> 01:06:32,708 Well, I have to get going. Would you raise up the walkway, please? 235 01:06:32,876 --> 01:06:35,210 You don't have to get going. You don't have to go. 236 01:06:35,378 --> 01:06:36,545 Yeah, I've got a meeting. 237 01:06:36,713 --> 01:06:38,339 -How you been? -I've been well. 238 01:06:38,506 --> 01:06:41,216 -Everything good? -It's great. Well, I gotta.... 239 01:06:41,384 --> 01:06:43,010 Could you come back this way? 240 01:06:44,220 --> 01:06:45,888 Yeah, yeah, I think I will. 241 01:06:46,222 --> 01:06:47,556 What time? 242 01:06:48,016 --> 01:06:50,559 Well.... Mm. 243 01:06:50,935 --> 01:06:52,686 I get it. 244 01:06:53,772 --> 01:06:55,773 Who wants to talk to a guy in a tree? 245 01:06:55,940 --> 01:06:57,232 I get it. 246 01:06:58,360 --> 01:07:01,153 Hang in there. Don't cry, don't-- Please don't cry. 247 01:07:11,748 --> 01:07:13,832 [BEEPING] 248 01:07:22,175 --> 01:07:24,259 CHIEF: Okay. Let's get started. 249 01:07:24,427 --> 01:07:27,096 You'll have to bear with me, I'm still a little fuzzy. 250 01:07:27,263 --> 01:07:29,765 I got a pretty good hit in the head yesterday. 251 01:07:29,933 --> 01:07:33,936 Yes, it was dark in there. You probably tripped. 252 01:07:34,104 --> 01:07:37,147 I hurt my knee. It was smoky too. 253 01:07:38,608 --> 01:07:40,651 CHIEF: All right, here's what we know. 254 01:07:40,819 --> 01:07:43,612 Wait. Chief, I request the cone of silence. 255 01:07:43,780 --> 01:07:47,533 Max, not the cone of silence. We're in a safe room, for God's sakes. 256 01:07:47,701 --> 01:07:49,284 We thought CONTROL was safe. 257 01:07:50,078 --> 01:07:51,412 Okay. Lloyd. 258 01:07:55,333 --> 01:07:59,169 CHIEF: Okay, we have reason to believe that our security was breached by KAOS. 259 01:07:59,337 --> 01:08:01,630 -You have to speak up. CHIEF: Can you hear me? 260 01:08:01,798 --> 01:08:03,632 -I'm not hearing anyone. -What? 261 01:08:03,800 --> 01:08:05,718 CHIEF: Can you hear me? AGENT 99: What did you say? 262 01:08:05,885 --> 01:08:08,470 -Bruce, it's not working. -It's not working! 263 01:08:09,723 --> 01:08:12,516 Chief! I hit you in the head with a fire extinguisher! 264 01:08:12,684 --> 01:08:14,643 No, no, no, we're not ready yet. 265 01:08:14,811 --> 01:08:16,770 LARABEE: Okay. All right. 266 01:08:16,938 --> 01:08:19,189 -It doesn't work, get rid of it. -Turn it off. 267 01:08:19,357 --> 01:08:21,984 This thing is no good. It's a useless piece of garbage. 268 01:08:22,152 --> 01:08:24,319 -Turn it off! -Larabee, you all right? 269 01:08:24,487 --> 01:08:26,405 Larabee wants out! 270 01:08:29,325 --> 01:08:30,993 [YELLS] 271 01:08:31,161 --> 01:08:33,954 Today's the day, and we're gonna get rid of this damn thing. 272 01:08:34,122 --> 01:08:36,707 LARABEE: That is cold. That's cold. AGENT 91: All right, easy. 273 01:08:36,875 --> 01:08:38,500 CHIEF: All right, are we done? 274 01:08:38,668 --> 01:08:40,043 Yep. I can hear now. 275 01:08:40,211 --> 01:08:43,338 Sorry, Chief, someone led me to believe the cone was ready. 276 01:08:43,506 --> 01:08:46,175 For the record, I never actually used the word "ready." 277 01:08:46,342 --> 01:08:50,012 "I'll show them the cone. The cone's the shizzle." You said that to me. 278 01:08:50,180 --> 01:08:52,097 All right, shut up. Listen up, people. 279 01:08:52,265 --> 01:08:54,725 There's been a rash of thefts of nuclear material... 280 01:08:54,893 --> 01:08:57,352 ...especially yellowcake, over the last three months. 281 01:08:57,520 --> 01:09:02,149 Now, based on Max's intel, we were able to get Agent 38 inside KAOS. 282 01:09:02,317 --> 01:09:04,526 We must've been close to uncovering something... 283 01:09:04,694 --> 01:09:06,528 ...so KAOS hit us and they hit us hard. 284 01:09:06,696 --> 01:09:08,489 They hacked our system... 285 01:09:08,656 --> 01:09:11,366 ...and learned the identities of all our field agents. 286 01:09:11,534 --> 01:09:13,577 Around the world our people are under attack. 287 01:09:13,745 --> 01:09:15,829 [DARTS WHIZZING] 288 01:09:20,960 --> 01:09:24,671 Our only lead is the maker of the bomb KAOS used against us. 289 01:09:24,839 --> 01:09:26,381 Vladimir Krs.... 290 01:09:26,549 --> 01:09:28,467 -It's pronounced "Krstic," sir. -Yes.... 291 01:09:28,635 --> 01:09:29,676 [MUMBLES] 292 01:09:29,844 --> 01:09:31,220 MAX: Krstic. 293 01:09:31,387 --> 01:09:32,554 [MUMBLES] 294 01:09:32,722 --> 01:09:37,059 Yes. He is a Bosnian national, and one of KAOS' favorite munitions suppliers. 295 01:09:37,227 --> 01:09:40,020 Unfortunately, we have no idea where he is. 296 01:09:40,188 --> 01:09:42,314 Actually, sir, we do. He is in Russia. 297 01:09:42,482 --> 01:09:45,526 -How do you know that? -It was on page 482 of my report. 298 01:09:47,862 --> 01:09:49,488 Doesn't anybody read my reports? 299 01:09:50,740 --> 01:09:54,201 All right, our mission is clear, people. Find Krs.... 300 01:09:54,369 --> 01:09:55,953 -Krstic. -Yes. Find him! 301 01:09:56,120 --> 01:09:58,121 -Kris Kringle. Fish stick. CHIEF: Yes, Krs-- 302 01:09:58,289 --> 01:09:59,915 -Okay, I got it, I got it. MAX: Krstic. 303 01:10:00,083 --> 01:10:03,669 Use him to get to KAOS, then recover the stolen nuclear material... 304 01:10:03,837 --> 01:10:06,255 ...before they can do something less than friendly... 305 01:10:06,422 --> 01:10:10,425 ...and maybe, if we're lucky, we can apprehend the man behind it all... 306 01:10:10,593 --> 01:10:11,677 ...Siegfried. 307 01:10:11,845 --> 01:10:14,763 Pictured here with his number two man, Shtarker. 308 01:10:14,931 --> 01:10:17,766 How are we gonna do that when our agents are compromised? 309 01:10:17,934 --> 01:10:20,769 Put me out there, Chief. I'm not afraid to expose myself. 310 01:10:20,937 --> 01:10:23,021 Do you ever think before you speak? 311 01:10:23,189 --> 01:10:25,607 No, I just whip it out there. It's what's best. 312 01:10:25,775 --> 01:10:27,442 Fortunately, we have other options. 313 01:10:27,610 --> 01:10:32,364 99 recently underwent massive plastic surgery, so her new face is not known yet. 314 01:10:32,532 --> 01:10:35,450 We also have a new agent, Agent 86. 315 01:10:35,618 --> 01:10:36,910 Who's that, sir? 316 01:10:37,078 --> 01:10:38,704 It's you, Max. 317 01:10:40,498 --> 01:10:42,124 All right, Maxie. 318 01:10:43,418 --> 01:10:44,459 You did it. 319 01:10:46,379 --> 01:10:48,130 Lloyd, may I have the C.O.S. please? 320 01:10:52,969 --> 01:10:54,136 I'm so happy! 321 01:10:54,304 --> 01:10:58,432 I'm so happy! This is the best day of my life! 322 01:11:00,643 --> 01:11:04,104 Max, you didn't push the button hard enough. 323 01:11:04,272 --> 01:11:06,773 -So you could hear me? BRUCE: Yes. 324 01:11:07,567 --> 01:11:09,276 -Right. AGENT 99: Excuse me, Chief. 325 01:11:09,444 --> 01:11:11,904 Just a thought, I'm not questioning your judgment-- 326 01:11:12,071 --> 01:11:14,031 MAX: 99, I insist on complete honesty. 327 01:11:14,198 --> 01:11:17,242 If you have something to say to me, I wish you would just say it. 328 01:11:17,410 --> 01:11:19,745 Max has no experience. I don't want him as my partner. 329 01:11:19,913 --> 01:11:23,332 Well, that is a sucker punch to the gonads. 330 01:11:25,835 --> 01:11:29,755 Hey, Max. We got you a lovely parting gift for your first mission. 331 01:11:29,923 --> 01:11:32,174 Oh, a pocketknife. 332 01:11:32,342 --> 01:11:34,676 Not just a pocketknife, Swiss Army knife. 333 01:11:34,844 --> 01:11:37,346 Comes with tweezers, pliers, a tiny magnifying glass. 334 01:11:37,513 --> 01:11:40,682 Fish scaler, a saw, a flamethrower, chisel, a wire-crimping tool. 335 01:11:40,850 --> 01:11:42,726 -What was that thing you said? -Chisel? 336 01:11:42,894 --> 01:11:44,686 Before that. Did you say flamethrower? 337 01:11:44,854 --> 01:11:46,188 -Yeah. -Check it. 338 01:11:48,816 --> 01:11:50,984 We also added a crossbow that fires harpoons... 339 01:11:51,152 --> 01:11:54,863 ...connected to spider-silk nano-thread. Has the strength of steel cable. 340 01:11:55,031 --> 01:11:57,532 It's a time-consuming, labor-intensive technology. 341 01:11:57,700 --> 01:11:59,868 The spiders have to be individually milked. 342 01:12:00,036 --> 01:12:01,995 And they do not like it. 343 01:12:02,163 --> 01:12:03,497 No, they don't. 344 01:12:03,665 --> 01:12:05,624 Gentlemen, you're the best. 345 01:12:06,125 --> 01:12:07,167 Thanks. 346 01:12:24,227 --> 01:12:26,603 WOMAN: Ladies and gentlemen, while you are in your seats... 347 01:12:26,771 --> 01:12:28,981 ...please keep your seatbelts fastened. 348 01:12:29,899 --> 01:12:32,484 I feel really good about us as partners. 349 01:12:32,652 --> 01:12:34,361 23 says that's important. 350 01:12:35,071 --> 01:12:37,739 "Trust is a must." That's what 23 says. 351 01:12:37,907 --> 01:12:38,907 Does he? 352 01:12:39,075 --> 01:12:42,077 You and I share a bond, I think. 353 01:12:42,245 --> 01:12:46,415 We both know what it feels like to look in the mirror and not like what we see. 354 01:12:46,582 --> 01:12:49,418 You with the surgery, me with the weight loss. 355 01:12:49,669 --> 01:12:51,670 I wanna show you something. 356 01:12:55,842 --> 01:12:56,925 That was me. 357 01:12:57,093 --> 01:12:59,011 AGENT 99: Wow, impressive. 358 01:12:59,178 --> 01:13:00,846 Congratulations. 359 01:13:01,014 --> 01:13:02,514 Thank you. 360 01:13:05,101 --> 01:13:08,061 This is me. 361 01:13:08,896 --> 01:13:10,605 MAX: Wow . 362 01:13:10,773 --> 01:13:12,691 Very impressive, 99. 363 01:13:13,401 --> 01:13:15,944 You were truly hideous back then. 364 01:13:18,531 --> 01:13:21,074 Since we are going to be portraying husband and wife... 365 01:13:21,242 --> 01:13:23,618 ...maybe we should get our story set. 366 01:13:23,953 --> 01:13:25,454 Okay, good idea. 367 01:13:27,290 --> 01:13:31,793 We met at a marketing convention in Vegas. Married a year later. No kids. 368 01:13:31,961 --> 01:13:33,879 I like your parents, but you hate mine. 369 01:13:34,047 --> 01:13:35,422 Do we want kids? 370 01:13:35,590 --> 01:13:38,467 Well, you do, but I'm concentrating on my career. 371 01:13:38,634 --> 01:13:41,386 I don't know if that's fair. I mean, I'm older than you are. 372 01:13:41,554 --> 01:13:44,598 -Well, not by much. -Really? 373 01:13:46,142 --> 01:13:49,478 When they gave me a new face, I had them... 374 01:13:50,313 --> 01:13:52,439 ...take a couple years off. 375 01:13:52,607 --> 01:13:54,107 You know, why not? 376 01:13:54,942 --> 01:13:59,654 Well, if that's the case, then you are at an advanced age, and you should be-- 377 01:13:59,822 --> 01:14:01,615 Well, no. I was never.... 378 01:14:01,783 --> 01:14:05,994 I'm just saying that your eggs could dry up and fall out of your uterus. 379 01:14:06,162 --> 01:14:08,497 So time is of the essence. 380 01:14:09,624 --> 01:14:12,584 -That's your opinion. -No, that is a medical fact. 381 01:14:12,752 --> 01:14:15,462 There is a lot of time for me to make this decision. 382 01:14:15,630 --> 01:14:18,006 I will not be rushed into it by you or my mother. 383 01:14:18,174 --> 01:14:20,634 -You don't have much time. -Where is the drink cart? 384 01:14:25,348 --> 01:14:26,348 Uh-oh. 385 01:14:26,516 --> 01:14:28,266 -What? -Six o'clock. 386 01:14:29,143 --> 01:14:32,729 Don't turn around, don't turn around. Use your peripherals. 387 01:14:37,193 --> 01:14:38,527 Do you see him? 388 01:14:38,778 --> 01:14:42,030 I'm just widening my eyes. I'm not actually seeing anything more. 389 01:14:42,198 --> 01:14:44,658 The big guy that might as well be holding up a sign: 390 01:14:44,826 --> 01:14:46,618 "I'm an assassin, here to kill you." 391 01:14:46,786 --> 01:14:49,204 Okay, 99, you know what? That is profiling. 392 01:14:49,372 --> 01:14:54,000 Just because he is large doesn't necessarily mean that he is a bad guy. 393 01:14:55,878 --> 01:14:58,463 Oh. Wow. 394 01:14:58,631 --> 01:15:01,716 That's a bad guy. That's a really bad guy. 395 01:15:01,884 --> 01:15:03,677 -You don't say. -Did you see his face? 396 01:15:03,845 --> 01:15:04,886 Yes. 397 01:15:05,054 --> 01:15:08,390 His head looks like one of the Easter Island heads. 398 01:15:10,643 --> 01:15:12,644 You know what? I'm doing the same thing. 399 01:15:12,812 --> 01:15:15,689 That's profiling, and I will have none of it. 400 01:15:15,857 --> 01:15:19,693 Darn it, I have gum on my new shoes. 401 01:15:24,699 --> 01:15:27,033 -He's trying to light his shoe. MAN: It's a shoe bomb! 402 01:15:27,201 --> 01:15:28,451 -Get him! -It's gum. 403 01:15:28,619 --> 01:15:32,122 -He's got a gun! -Not-- Gum! Not-- No! Gum! 404 01:15:32,290 --> 01:15:34,541 [PEOPLE SCREAMING] 405 01:15:35,334 --> 01:15:36,918 Gum! 406 01:15:37,086 --> 01:15:39,087 Federal marshal, you're under arrest. 407 01:15:39,255 --> 01:15:42,674 Sir, I believe you just shattered my coccyx. 408 01:15:43,968 --> 01:15:46,720 MAN [OVER SPEAKER]: Folks, we may be experiencing a little turbulence. 409 01:15:46,888 --> 01:15:49,431 The "fasten seatbelt" sign has been turned on. 410 01:15:51,267 --> 01:15:54,060 Well, you were no help whatsoever. 411 01:15:54,228 --> 01:15:57,939 How could I help? I'm just a woman with a dusty old uterus. 412 01:15:58,107 --> 01:16:00,400 I never said dusty. 413 01:16:01,027 --> 01:16:03,111 We're close to the drop site. I'll go first. 414 01:16:03,279 --> 01:16:06,281 -Gonna be all right with your cuffs? -No cuffs can contain me. 415 01:16:08,117 --> 01:16:10,118 Excuse me, violent sky marshal. 416 01:16:11,037 --> 01:16:12,287 What do you want? 417 01:16:12,455 --> 01:16:13,914 I have to squeeze the lemon. 418 01:16:14,081 --> 01:16:15,582 MAN: Ugh. 419 01:16:16,042 --> 01:16:17,459 MAX: You heard me. 420 01:16:17,627 --> 01:16:19,794 Squeeze the lemon. 421 01:16:32,934 --> 01:16:36,311 -Do you work out? -Occasionally. 422 01:16:36,479 --> 01:16:38,647 Yeah, I'm big on protein. Protein's great. 423 01:16:49,700 --> 01:16:51,618 [GROANING] 424 01:16:51,786 --> 01:16:54,663 I gotta get it out. I gotta get that out! 425 01:16:54,830 --> 01:16:56,456 [MAX GROANING] 426 01:16:56,624 --> 01:16:59,501 That's in there, that's in there. 427 01:17:08,302 --> 01:17:09,970 No time for pain. 428 01:17:10,137 --> 01:17:11,846 Over the drop zone. 429 01:17:16,519 --> 01:17:17,852 [YELLS] 430 01:17:18,020 --> 01:17:19,854 Ball sack! 431 01:17:29,365 --> 01:17:30,991 Son of a hamster. 432 01:17:31,158 --> 01:17:33,368 MARSHAL: You all right in there? -Yeah. Yes, I am. 433 01:17:33,661 --> 01:17:34,828 Everything's fine. 434 01:17:34,996 --> 01:17:37,038 Mother of pearl! 435 01:17:44,380 --> 01:17:45,964 That burns! 436 01:17:46,132 --> 01:17:47,465 Last chance. 437 01:17:51,053 --> 01:17:54,723 WOMAN [ON RECORDING]: Airlock activated. Three, two, one. 438 01:17:56,058 --> 01:17:58,310 [SCREAMS] 439 01:17:59,312 --> 01:18:01,146 First package away. 440 01:18:08,738 --> 01:18:10,655 Absolutely, I love cats. 441 01:18:10,823 --> 01:18:11,865 -Really? -Yeah. 442 01:18:18,039 --> 01:18:19,497 Damn. 443 01:18:33,095 --> 01:18:34,929 Second package away. 444 01:18:40,102 --> 01:18:42,562 [MAX YELLING] 445 01:18:53,449 --> 01:18:55,367 Oh, good, you heard me. 446 01:18:58,245 --> 01:19:00,121 Third package away. 447 01:19:01,207 --> 01:19:02,248 Third package? 448 01:19:08,464 --> 01:19:10,632 99, Easter Island. 449 01:19:13,177 --> 01:19:14,302 [YELLS] 450 01:19:14,470 --> 01:19:16,054 [FABRIC TEARS] 451 01:19:17,807 --> 01:19:22,644 -I'll be right back! -Where could you possibly be going? 452 01:19:43,332 --> 01:19:44,791 [YELLING] 453 01:19:47,670 --> 01:19:50,880 Okay, never do that again! 454 01:19:51,048 --> 01:19:53,091 AGENT 99: Stop hanging on me! MAX: Never! Stop it! 455 01:19:59,432 --> 01:20:03,101 AGENT 99: Max, I can't reach my reserve! Do something! 456 01:20:09,108 --> 01:20:10,608 [LAUGHS] 457 01:20:10,776 --> 01:20:13,153 That would have definitely worked on me. 458 01:20:13,320 --> 01:20:17,699 Are you crazy? If I can't pull my chute, you'll die too! 459 01:20:37,887 --> 01:20:39,554 MAX: Aim for the haystack. AGENT 99: Stop talking. 460 01:20:39,722 --> 01:20:42,474 -Aim for the haystack, it's softer. -Stop talking! 461 01:20:44,226 --> 01:20:45,643 MAX: You missed it. 462 01:20:47,229 --> 01:20:49,272 [IN RUSSIAN] 463 01:21:13,923 --> 01:21:16,549 MAX: Okay, not to keep dwelling on this... 464 01:21:16,717 --> 01:21:19,052 ...but that was some kiss. 465 01:21:19,220 --> 01:21:20,762 How did you know that would work? 466 01:21:20,930 --> 01:21:23,598 Have you kissed other men who plummeted to their deaths? 467 01:21:23,766 --> 01:21:24,766 Okay, you know what? 468 01:21:24,934 --> 01:21:26,809 So far, our entire partnership... 469 01:21:26,977 --> 01:21:29,354 ...has consisted of me getting you out of trouble. 470 01:21:29,522 --> 01:21:31,773 Do you know why? It is because you keep leading. 471 01:21:32,274 --> 01:21:34,442 So here's how we stop that. I lead now. 472 01:21:34,610 --> 01:21:36,736 I'm the one with experience. You know nothing. 473 01:21:37,071 --> 01:21:38,613 I beg to differ. 474 01:21:38,781 --> 01:21:41,449 I looked up your field agent exam, and I scored-- 475 01:21:41,617 --> 01:21:43,618 -My what? -Your field agent exam. 476 01:21:43,786 --> 01:21:45,578 I scored eight points higher than you. 477 01:21:45,746 --> 01:21:46,829 This is not a classroom. 478 01:21:46,997 --> 01:21:49,541 That's the difference between an A plus and an A minus. 479 01:21:49,708 --> 01:21:53,461 -You'll get us killed if you don't listen! -A minus! 480 01:21:54,213 --> 01:21:57,048 Okay, you're faced with an assassin. What do you do? 481 01:21:57,216 --> 01:22:00,635 -I take out my gun, and I would shoot-- -You don't have a gun. 482 01:22:00,803 --> 01:22:02,595 -I did until you took it. -Bang. You're dead. 483 01:22:02,763 --> 01:22:03,972 -No, I'm not. -Bang. You're dead. 484 01:22:04,139 --> 01:22:05,431 -Stop shooting me. -You are dead. 485 01:22:05,599 --> 01:22:07,559 -I don't like it when you shoot me. -Bang. Bang. Bang. 486 01:22:07,726 --> 01:22:08,893 -Stop it. -Bang. Bang. 487 01:22:09,061 --> 01:22:12,230 Stop shooting me more. You already said I was-- Hey. 488 01:22:12,731 --> 01:22:14,274 Throw out your manual. 489 01:22:14,441 --> 01:22:17,819 Out here there are no grades, there's only dead, and not dead. 490 01:22:18,946 --> 01:22:22,991 You know, I am not completely incompetent without a gun. 491 01:22:23,158 --> 01:22:26,160 I am a master in the art of Hwa Rang Do. 492 01:22:27,830 --> 01:22:29,330 [GRUNTS] 493 01:22:29,498 --> 01:22:31,666 -I was not ready. -That's my point. 494 01:22:31,834 --> 01:22:33,126 Yeah, you know what? That-- 495 01:22:33,294 --> 01:22:35,461 Hey, what was that? 496 01:22:40,509 --> 01:22:44,262 Max is halfway to Moscow. Don't tell me you're still translating that Russian. 497 01:22:44,430 --> 01:22:46,014 They talk fast, it's hard. 498 01:22:47,141 --> 01:22:49,684 BRUCE: It takes like eight of these morons to do what Max did. 499 01:22:49,852 --> 01:22:52,020 I can't wait till we finish the Hymie project. 500 01:22:52,187 --> 01:22:54,230 All these stupid agents will be obsolete. 501 01:22:54,398 --> 01:22:55,898 -Bye-bye. -What's a Hymie? 502 01:22:56,066 --> 01:22:59,193 Hybrid Mechanical Intelligence Entity. Basically a robot. 503 01:22:59,361 --> 01:23:01,279 It's a stolen KAOS technology. 504 01:23:01,447 --> 01:23:03,865 Being reprogrammed. Top-secret. Need-to-know. 505 01:23:04,033 --> 01:23:05,700 And you don't need. 506 01:23:06,118 --> 01:23:09,370 I'm a trained killer. I can kill you with anything in this office. 507 01:23:09,538 --> 01:23:12,540 You wanna die by Post-its? Because I could make that happen. 508 01:23:12,708 --> 01:23:14,375 And that's a slow death. 509 01:23:15,878 --> 01:23:17,211 AGENT 23: Larabee. -Yeah. 510 01:23:17,379 --> 01:23:19,130 -Were you the last one to use the copier? -Yeah. 511 01:23:19,298 --> 01:23:20,465 You left it jammed. 512 01:23:20,633 --> 01:23:22,967 So? Why don't you... 513 01:23:23,344 --> 01:23:24,636 ...unjam it? 514 01:23:24,803 --> 01:23:27,805 -Just open the door, read the instructions. -This your stapler? 515 01:23:27,973 --> 01:23:30,558 -Want me to show you how to use it? -No. 516 01:23:32,269 --> 01:23:33,311 Unjam that. 517 01:23:33,479 --> 01:23:34,729 -23. -Yes. 518 01:23:34,897 --> 01:23:37,398 -Can I have a moment, please? -Sure. 519 01:23:38,067 --> 01:23:39,233 Yes, Chief. 520 01:23:39,401 --> 01:23:42,570 Let me tell you about a pattern that's beginning to emerge. 521 01:23:42,738 --> 01:23:44,947 As a former field agent, I'm very much aware... 522 01:23:45,115 --> 01:23:48,242 ...of how difficult it is to make the transition to office life. 523 01:23:48,410 --> 01:23:49,911 He didn't unjam the copier. 524 01:23:50,079 --> 01:23:52,955 We have rules here. If you don't follow the rules, then what are we? 525 01:23:53,123 --> 01:23:54,540 I'll tell you what we're not. 526 01:23:54,708 --> 01:23:57,710 We're not people who jam staples into people's heads. 527 01:23:57,878 --> 01:23:59,504 That's CIA crap. 528 01:23:59,672 --> 01:24:01,881 All right, look, Chief, I'm your best guy. 529 01:24:02,049 --> 01:24:05,551 I don't belong in an office making copies. I should be out there with Max. 530 01:24:05,719 --> 01:24:08,137 Look, 23, no more stapling today. 531 01:24:08,305 --> 01:24:09,430 [LARABEE GROANING] 532 01:24:09,598 --> 01:24:10,890 Just hold on. 533 01:24:17,231 --> 01:24:19,273 So how do you know this place? 534 01:24:19,441 --> 01:24:21,776 Well, as an analyst, I like to keep my ears open. 535 01:24:21,944 --> 01:24:23,319 It's amazing what you learn... 536 01:24:23,487 --> 01:24:27,281 ...listening to chatter. In fact, Ladislas Krstic loves this place. 537 01:24:27,449 --> 01:24:32,412 As do many KAOS agents. Café Minsk-Pinsk in Smolensk. 538 01:24:32,579 --> 01:24:34,789 It doesn't get any better than "thinsk." 539 01:24:36,125 --> 01:24:38,126 You see what I just did? 540 01:24:38,293 --> 01:24:40,920 I added an "insk" at the end, made it sound Russian. 541 01:24:41,088 --> 01:24:42,630 Should've smacked you harder. 542 01:24:42,798 --> 01:24:44,132 Is that your default setting? 543 01:24:44,299 --> 01:24:46,801 Do you just punch people in the face willy-nilly? 544 01:24:46,969 --> 01:24:48,928 "It's Tuesday, I'll punch Max in the face." 545 01:24:49,096 --> 01:24:51,806 "A box of kittens, time to punch Max in the face." 546 01:24:51,974 --> 01:24:54,308 "I'm having bread, time to punch Max in the face." 547 01:24:54,476 --> 01:24:55,977 You know, I love bread... 548 01:24:56,145 --> 01:24:58,479 ...and I know bread has a few carbs, but... 549 01:24:58,647 --> 01:25:00,732 ...I've never really been afraid of carbs... 550 01:25:00,899 --> 01:25:05,319 ...because it seems like no matter how many I eat, I stay "thinsk." 551 01:25:13,954 --> 01:25:16,581 [IN RUSSIAN] 552 01:25:20,586 --> 01:25:22,795 I'm sorry, are you talking to me? 553 01:25:22,963 --> 01:25:24,672 No sprechen Sie Russian. 554 01:25:26,175 --> 01:25:28,593 [URINATING] 555 01:25:29,511 --> 01:25:31,012 [IN RUSSIAN] 556 01:25:33,849 --> 01:25:35,349 [STOPS URINATING] 557 01:25:35,517 --> 01:25:37,393 [URINATING] 558 01:25:39,563 --> 01:25:41,731 [STOPS URINATING] 559 01:25:41,899 --> 01:25:43,983 [URINATING] 560 01:25:45,444 --> 01:25:46,819 [STOPS URINATING] 561 01:25:46,987 --> 01:25:48,946 [URINATING] 562 01:25:53,911 --> 01:25:55,203 [STOPS URINATING] 563 01:25:55,370 --> 01:25:57,622 [URINATING] 564 01:26:00,042 --> 01:26:01,542 [STOPS URINATING] 565 01:26:01,710 --> 01:26:03,085 [URINATING] 566 01:26:06,840 --> 01:26:08,591 [TOILET FLUSHES] 567 01:26:08,759 --> 01:26:11,719 MAX: Boy, you know what? I will tell you, I love your country. 568 01:26:11,887 --> 01:26:15,223 No more Communism. No rules of any kind, really. 569 01:26:15,390 --> 01:26:19,060 I'm filling my suitcase with steroids and art from ancient Mesopotamia. 570 01:26:19,228 --> 01:26:22,855 Ran over an old woman yesterday. Best vacation I've ever had. 571 01:26:23,023 --> 01:26:25,233 [WATCH BEEPING] 572 01:26:26,568 --> 01:26:28,569 Time to take my pill. 573 01:26:35,035 --> 01:26:37,370 There was a guy in the bathroom who's really hot. 574 01:26:38,997 --> 01:26:40,540 Okay.... 575 01:26:40,707 --> 01:26:42,834 No, no, no. Radioactive hot. 576 01:26:43,001 --> 01:26:46,254 Although he did have a certain rugged quality that some find appealing. 577 01:26:46,421 --> 01:26:48,422 How did you know he was radioactive? 578 01:26:48,757 --> 01:26:52,260 My watch is a Geiger counter. You don't have one of these? Huh. 579 01:26:52,719 --> 01:26:55,680 Listen, I think he was part of the nuclear theft in Chechnya. 580 01:26:55,848 --> 01:26:57,056 We should follow him. 581 01:26:57,224 --> 01:26:58,850 AGENT 99: I gotta say, Max... 582 01:26:59,601 --> 01:27:01,060 ...you picked a good restaurant. 583 01:27:39,057 --> 01:27:40,141 MAX: Of course. 584 01:27:40,976 --> 01:27:42,393 Tripe soup. 585 01:27:42,561 --> 01:27:45,646 -This must be Ladislas Krstic's house. -What? 586 01:27:45,814 --> 01:27:49,400 Tripe soup is his favorite dish. It was in the mission dossier. 587 01:27:49,568 --> 01:27:51,652 Let's just see what we're up against, okay? 588 01:27:53,447 --> 01:27:55,823 [WRAPPER CRINKLING] 589 01:28:00,245 --> 01:28:02,246 I didn't get to eat at the restaurant. 590 01:28:02,414 --> 01:28:05,625 And if you skip a meal, the next meal you overindulge. 591 01:28:05,792 --> 01:28:07,835 -Well, let me. I've got nails. -It's a recipe for-- 592 01:28:08,003 --> 01:28:09,629 [SPLASHES] 593 01:28:09,796 --> 01:28:11,130 You owe me $3. 594 01:28:13,008 --> 01:28:16,177 AGENT 99: More guards. We'll have to figure out a way in. 595 01:28:22,059 --> 01:28:23,100 Miniature blowgun. 596 01:28:23,268 --> 01:28:25,478 You don't have one of these? 597 01:28:25,646 --> 01:28:29,690 These darts are tipped with a tranquilizer derived from the skin of a lizard... 598 01:28:29,858 --> 01:28:32,026 ...known as los zapatos de la muerte. 599 01:28:32,194 --> 01:28:33,277 "The shoes of death." 600 01:28:34,196 --> 01:28:35,488 Excuse me. 601 01:28:36,031 --> 01:28:39,200 They're 40 yards out, that's definitely the edge of my range. 602 01:28:39,368 --> 01:28:43,037 I'm going to have to give this one a little something extra. 603 01:28:43,205 --> 01:28:44,747 [BREATHING DEEPLY] 604 01:28:44,915 --> 01:28:46,415 [CHOKES] 605 01:28:47,209 --> 01:28:48,918 [THUDS] 606 01:28:58,762 --> 01:29:00,304 Wow . 607 01:29:00,472 --> 01:29:02,056 You look spectacular. 608 01:29:02,224 --> 01:29:03,349 Thanks. 609 01:29:03,642 --> 01:29:05,476 You don't look too bad yourself. 610 01:29:06,728 --> 01:29:08,020 Is that a wig? 611 01:29:08,188 --> 01:29:09,730 Yeah, it came with the dress. 612 01:29:10,399 --> 01:29:14,402 -How did I get into these clothes? -That's not important. Let's go. 613 01:29:17,698 --> 01:29:18,990 Am I wearing boxers? 614 01:29:22,035 --> 01:29:25,246 For future reference, I usually prefer briefs... 615 01:29:25,414 --> 01:29:27,873 ...for their security and peace of mind. 616 01:29:28,041 --> 01:29:30,376 Going free-bird is not exactly ideal. 617 01:29:30,711 --> 01:29:32,378 I don't like it. 618 01:29:42,931 --> 01:29:45,933 [BAND PLAYING WALTZ] 619 01:29:48,270 --> 01:29:50,187 There must be 200 people here. 620 01:29:50,355 --> 01:29:53,441 Finding Krstic will be like finding a needle in a haystack. 621 01:29:53,942 --> 01:29:56,819 [IN RUSSIAN] 622 01:30:00,532 --> 01:30:02,199 [SPEAKS IN RUSSIAN] 623 01:30:02,367 --> 01:30:03,617 I'd love to dance. 624 01:30:03,785 --> 01:30:07,788 English? But you understand Russian? Very impressive. 625 01:30:08,457 --> 01:30:10,041 Shall we? 626 01:30:10,876 --> 01:30:12,585 I hope your date doesn't mind. 627 01:30:12,753 --> 01:30:14,628 AGENT 99: Oh, he's not my date. 628 01:30:14,796 --> 01:30:17,965 He's just a local horse groomer I hired to drive me around. 629 01:30:18,133 --> 01:30:22,136 It's a tragic story. He's quite deaf. Really not bright. 630 01:30:23,096 --> 01:30:26,640 I am going to dance now. 631 01:30:26,975 --> 01:30:30,895 You go get yourself some punch. 632 01:30:32,147 --> 01:30:33,564 Okay. 633 01:30:34,816 --> 01:30:37,276 I don't even know how much gets through. 634 01:30:46,161 --> 01:30:47,661 Chief, I need your help. 635 01:30:47,829 --> 01:30:49,163 You're on. Go ahead. 636 01:30:49,331 --> 01:30:50,456 MAX: We have found Krstic. 637 01:30:50,624 --> 01:30:53,167 I searched his house. I can't find his computer network. 638 01:30:53,335 --> 01:30:55,002 Get me an infrared satellite scan. 639 01:30:55,170 --> 01:30:58,255 I have to get back to 99, she is in grave danger. 640 01:31:01,510 --> 01:31:03,427 Your house is so beautiful. 641 01:31:03,762 --> 01:31:06,180 It must be difficult to go to work. 642 01:31:07,182 --> 01:31:09,600 I don't have to go very far. 643 01:31:40,966 --> 01:31:42,758 [CLEARS THROAT] 644 01:31:42,926 --> 01:31:45,094 [IN RUSSIAN] 645 01:31:45,262 --> 01:31:47,012 I don't think so. 646 01:31:47,347 --> 01:31:48,889 I wasn't talking to you. 647 01:31:53,186 --> 01:31:54,228 Me? 648 01:31:54,396 --> 01:31:55,813 [SPEAKS IN RUSSIAN] 649 01:31:55,981 --> 01:31:57,148 I don't know. 650 01:31:57,315 --> 01:31:58,899 It'll be fun. 651 01:31:59,276 --> 01:32:00,317 Trust me. 652 01:32:08,910 --> 01:32:10,744 [WOMEN LAUGHING] 653 01:32:52,120 --> 01:32:53,954 You are so light on your feet. 654 01:32:54,122 --> 01:32:55,539 I recently lost 150 pounds. 655 01:32:55,874 --> 01:32:57,666 So did I. 656 01:32:57,834 --> 01:33:00,085 Isn't it great? I have so much more energy now. 657 01:33:00,253 --> 01:33:01,712 Me too. 658 01:34:08,446 --> 01:34:10,656 -Thanks for jumping. -No problem. 659 01:34:34,514 --> 01:34:36,557 Thank you for the lovely dance. 660 01:34:58,288 --> 01:35:00,164 Did you see anything while I was dancing? 661 01:35:00,332 --> 01:35:03,709 Just once, but I don't think you expected him to lift you so high. 662 01:35:05,086 --> 01:35:08,088 Anyway, I found out that the office is in the guest house. 663 01:35:08,256 --> 01:35:09,882 Really? How'd you do that? 664 01:35:10,050 --> 01:35:12,718 Show him a little décolletage, cleavage, bat your eyes? 665 01:35:12,886 --> 01:35:14,887 I'm not judging, just detecting a pattern. 666 01:35:15,055 --> 01:35:17,431 -Ready to work? -I'm ready to work. You ready? 667 01:35:17,599 --> 01:35:19,516 -Oh, my God. -You're just having fun showing your: 668 01:35:19,684 --> 01:35:20,684 [GRUNTING] 669 01:35:28,026 --> 01:35:30,277 Six guards. We are going to need another way in. 670 01:35:30,445 --> 01:35:32,613 Stand by, Max. Larabee, let's go. Move it. 671 01:35:33,073 --> 01:35:35,199 -What'd you do? -I can't find the right screen. 672 01:35:35,367 --> 01:35:37,576 It was here a second ago, then it went away. 673 01:35:37,744 --> 01:35:40,412 -What did you hit? -Don't yell at me. It's not helping! 674 01:35:40,580 --> 01:35:42,039 If you don't find that screen... 675 01:35:42,207 --> 01:35:45,125 ...I'm gonna have you hunting for land mines, with a hammer! 676 01:35:48,129 --> 01:35:50,130 AGENT 23: Got it, Max. There is one other entrance. 677 01:35:50,298 --> 01:35:51,382 What kind of entrance? 678 01:35:51,549 --> 01:35:54,468 The kind where you'll wanna throw your shoes out afterwards. 679 01:35:55,136 --> 01:35:59,139 MAX: Oh, great, rats. It's not enough that there's poop. 680 01:35:59,307 --> 01:36:04,228 You know what, I never saw James Bond in rats or poop, let alone rats and poop. 681 01:36:05,105 --> 01:36:07,981 Look, a rat riding on a piece of poop. 682 01:36:08,149 --> 01:36:10,901 AGENT 99: Stop it. It's just a storm drain. 683 01:36:15,156 --> 01:36:16,615 Here it is. 684 01:36:28,002 --> 01:36:31,630 Exploding dental floss. You don't have this? Hm. 685 01:36:41,182 --> 01:36:43,100 Three, two... 686 01:36:43,768 --> 01:36:44,810 ...one. 687 01:37:07,709 --> 01:37:09,334 Right. 688 01:37:15,175 --> 01:37:16,341 Come on. 689 01:37:33,485 --> 01:37:34,860 Are you staring at my butt? 690 01:37:35,737 --> 01:37:37,529 No, I am not. 691 01:37:37,697 --> 01:37:40,032 I might have been before, but I am-- 692 01:37:40,200 --> 01:37:42,910 Now I am again. All right, I'm stopping. 693 01:37:43,077 --> 01:37:46,163 Pay attention to what I'm doing, so that you can follow me exactly. 694 01:37:46,581 --> 01:37:47,831 Yep. 695 01:38:08,269 --> 01:38:10,521 Okay, Max. Little heads-up. 696 01:38:10,688 --> 01:38:13,774 High-intensity lasers. Whatever part of you does touch gets sliced. 697 01:38:13,942 --> 01:38:17,110 One more reason why boxers were a bad idea. 698 01:38:29,374 --> 01:38:31,792 All right, so do I have to do it exactly like that? 699 01:38:31,960 --> 01:38:33,126 Just come on. 700 01:38:46,849 --> 01:38:49,268 That's impressive. Wow. 701 01:38:51,563 --> 01:38:53,272 Careful, this one's tricky. 702 01:38:53,439 --> 01:38:54,898 Good. 703 01:38:55,066 --> 01:38:56,108 Very good. 704 01:38:58,319 --> 01:38:59,486 Okay, it's not that good. 705 01:39:04,951 --> 01:39:06,159 [GASPS] 706 01:39:19,173 --> 01:39:20,340 Max. Max. 707 01:39:20,592 --> 01:39:21,842 Stay calm. 708 01:39:23,761 --> 01:39:26,471 Max, keep it together. Keep it together. 709 01:39:27,515 --> 01:39:29,016 Max. Max. 710 01:39:30,602 --> 01:39:32,185 Careful! No, no. 711 01:39:32,353 --> 01:39:34,271 He's nibbling. That's not cheese! 712 01:39:34,439 --> 01:39:35,897 [MAX GROANING] 713 01:39:36,065 --> 01:39:37,316 Max, be quiet! 714 01:39:45,617 --> 01:39:47,618 Okay, shall we? 715 01:40:21,027 --> 01:40:23,153 [BEADS RATTLING] 716 01:40:26,074 --> 01:40:27,574 Did I hear something? 717 01:40:27,742 --> 01:40:30,994 Yes, there were some tap dancers in the hallway. 718 01:40:33,331 --> 01:40:36,416 Damn it. I can't get into their system. Biometric security. 719 01:40:36,584 --> 01:40:38,377 If you don't mind, 99.... 720 01:40:43,591 --> 01:40:47,678 The old "steam sticks to everything but the oil from the last thumb print" trick. 721 01:40:47,845 --> 01:40:48,887 Here we go. 722 01:40:49,097 --> 01:40:52,349 -Shipments of explosives. -Your boyfriend is a very bad man. 723 01:40:52,517 --> 01:40:55,686 -And a really good kisser. -Ignoring that. 724 01:40:58,773 --> 01:41:01,525 Look at that shipment of detonators. It's a little odd. 725 01:41:01,693 --> 01:41:03,610 Well, he is a bomb-maker. 726 01:41:03,778 --> 01:41:06,947 No. What is odd is that it was shipped to a bakery in Moscow. 727 01:41:07,115 --> 01:41:09,700 These detonators can also be used for nuclear bombs. 728 01:41:09,867 --> 01:41:11,702 I think this is our connection to KAOS. 729 01:41:11,869 --> 01:41:13,412 [CREAKS] 730 01:41:24,799 --> 01:41:26,299 I set that up. 731 01:41:37,145 --> 01:41:38,395 Let her go. 732 01:41:38,813 --> 01:41:40,230 No. 733 01:41:40,398 --> 01:41:42,107 [SPEAKS IN RUSSIAN] 734 01:41:44,235 --> 01:41:47,738 I'm not totally incompetent without a gun, you know. 735 01:42:12,472 --> 01:42:13,597 AGENT 99: Thanks for the help. 736 01:42:14,640 --> 01:42:17,184 KRSTIC: That's enough. Pity. 737 01:42:17,810 --> 01:42:22,022 I'm about to shoot beautiful woman and her retard stable boy. 738 01:42:22,190 --> 01:42:23,231 And yet... 739 01:42:24,108 --> 01:42:26,318 ...I will sleep like baby. 740 01:42:32,283 --> 01:42:34,826 -Not bad for a rookie. -Not bad for an old lady. 741 01:42:38,873 --> 01:42:42,209 [PLAYING BEETHOVEN'S "ODE TO JOY"] 742 01:42:44,086 --> 01:42:45,170 [PHONE RINGS] 743 01:42:45,338 --> 01:42:46,379 SIEGFRIED: Siegfried here. 744 01:42:46,839 --> 01:42:48,965 MAN [OVER PHONE]: How could you possibly screw this up? 745 01:42:49,133 --> 01:42:50,634 Krstic was a fool. 746 01:42:50,802 --> 01:42:53,553 -And they got lucky. -Who's that? Who's speaking? 747 01:42:53,721 --> 01:42:54,846 That's no one, sir. 748 01:42:55,014 --> 01:42:57,808 They're heading towards you. Don't disappoint me again. 749 01:42:57,975 --> 01:42:59,476 Don't worry, sir. They won't get pa-- 750 01:42:59,644 --> 01:43:01,061 [DIAL TONE HUMS] 751 01:43:01,229 --> 01:43:02,312 Why does he do that? 752 01:43:02,480 --> 01:43:04,356 Don't look at me. I'm no one. 753 01:43:04,524 --> 01:43:06,024 And don't you forget it. 754 01:43:06,317 --> 01:43:08,568 Everyone here can be replaced. 755 01:43:08,736 --> 01:43:10,403 I even have backup for you. 756 01:43:10,571 --> 01:43:12,572 It's called a rhinoceros. 757 01:43:38,391 --> 01:43:41,184 I think it's time to find new wheels. Pull over. 758 01:43:47,233 --> 01:43:49,609 I feel good about the mission so far, don't you? 759 01:43:49,777 --> 01:43:51,027 So far, sure. 760 01:43:51,195 --> 01:43:53,113 I think we work very well together. 761 01:43:53,281 --> 01:43:54,614 Like at the mansion. 762 01:43:54,782 --> 01:43:58,910 The way I held that guy's hair while you punched him in the throat. 763 01:43:59,078 --> 01:44:00,954 That was nice. 764 01:44:01,622 --> 01:44:02,622 Nice? 765 01:44:02,790 --> 01:44:04,457 Yeah, well, good teamwork. 766 01:44:04,625 --> 01:44:06,126 What are you doing? 767 01:44:06,294 --> 01:44:08,795 I'm just saying that I think we're very compatible. 768 01:44:08,963 --> 01:44:12,424 I think that you are confusing adrenaline with, I don't know... 769 01:44:12,592 --> 01:44:14,134 ...some other kind of hormone. 770 01:44:14,302 --> 01:44:16,720 -No. That's not-- -Know what, Max? Just stop it. 771 01:44:17,889 --> 01:44:20,640 Let me give you a lesson that I had to learn the hard way. 772 01:44:20,808 --> 01:44:22,976 You can't trust anyone out here, not even me. 773 01:44:23,144 --> 01:44:25,812 I mean, you know, I could be a double agent. 774 01:44:26,397 --> 01:44:28,732 The break-in at CONTROL was probably an inside job. 775 01:44:28,900 --> 01:44:31,985 It happened just as I got back. How do you know that it wasn't me? 776 01:44:32,945 --> 01:44:35,488 -What are we talking about here? -Let's just find a car. 777 01:44:35,656 --> 01:44:38,325 Which one's gonna attract the least attention? 778 01:44:38,826 --> 01:44:42,454 All right, well, we have a couple Soviet-era sedans here... 779 01:44:42,622 --> 01:44:45,999 ...we have that tractor, that cart... 780 01:44:46,834 --> 01:44:49,002 ...and-- That'll work. 781 01:44:50,004 --> 01:44:52,881 -No. -Yes. 782 01:44:53,049 --> 01:44:54,466 No. 783 01:44:54,800 --> 01:44:56,009 Yes. 784 01:44:59,639 --> 01:45:02,641 -Oh, yeah, we are really under the radar. -Will you relax? 785 01:45:02,808 --> 01:45:05,685 Since the fall of Communism, everybody has one of these here. 786 01:45:08,940 --> 01:45:10,607 [IN RUSSIAN] 787 01:45:10,775 --> 01:45:12,067 [SHUTTER CLICKS] 788 01:45:33,089 --> 01:45:34,881 AGENT 99: There's our little KAOS bakery. 789 01:45:35,049 --> 01:45:38,176 I don't have to remind you, but this isn't like the last place. 790 01:45:38,344 --> 01:45:41,888 There's no party, there's no dancing. Everyone in there is a trained killer. 791 01:45:42,056 --> 01:45:43,890 Do you understand? Okay. 792 01:45:44,058 --> 01:45:46,559 Did they explain to you how your belt buckle works? 793 01:45:46,727 --> 01:45:49,729 No, but the technology for holding up pants hasn't changed much. 794 01:45:49,897 --> 01:45:51,898 -Max. -Hey, what? 795 01:45:52,358 --> 01:45:55,151 This one has a compartment. Inside there's a pill. 796 01:45:55,319 --> 01:45:58,405 If captured, it would cause death in nine seconds. 797 01:45:58,572 --> 01:45:59,572 Great. 798 01:46:00,116 --> 01:46:03,076 But how exactly do I get them to take it? 799 01:46:05,246 --> 01:46:09,124 -Not much of a laugher, are you? -Here. Put this on. 800 01:46:09,291 --> 01:46:10,709 -On what? -On your molar. 801 01:46:10,876 --> 01:46:14,004 It's a tooth radio. It sends sound up your jawbone, into your ear. 802 01:46:14,171 --> 01:46:16,047 I can't hear anything outside your mouth... 803 01:46:16,215 --> 01:46:18,341 ...so if you get in trouble, you have to say so. 804 01:46:18,509 --> 01:46:19,551 Is it working? 805 01:46:19,719 --> 01:46:21,636 [FEEDBACK SQUEALS] 806 01:46:22,972 --> 01:46:24,848 -[WHISPERS] Is it working? -Yes. 807 01:46:25,016 --> 01:46:26,266 Good. 808 01:46:26,434 --> 01:46:27,434 Okay. 809 01:46:27,601 --> 01:46:30,311 Well, you know what to do. Good luck in there. 810 01:46:30,479 --> 01:46:32,147 You too. 811 01:46:55,129 --> 01:46:56,755 [BELL RINGS] 812 01:47:00,301 --> 01:47:02,135 Free rugelach? 813 01:47:02,303 --> 01:47:05,096 No, thank you. I am here for something else. 814 01:47:05,431 --> 01:47:06,723 Bread? 815 01:47:06,891 --> 01:47:10,810 -Something hot. -We have rolls that just came out. 816 01:47:10,978 --> 01:47:13,646 Even hotter. Much, much hotter. 817 01:47:13,981 --> 01:47:16,149 I already have boyfriend. 818 01:47:16,942 --> 01:47:19,527 -All right-- -Although, I could make exception. 819 01:47:19,695 --> 01:47:20,737 No, that's okay. 820 01:47:20,905 --> 01:47:24,115 Sure? Flour sacks in back, very comfortable. 821 01:47:24,283 --> 01:47:27,786 I don't think we are on the same page. 822 01:47:28,120 --> 01:47:32,082 I'm here because Ladislas Krstic sent me. 823 01:47:32,249 --> 01:47:34,918 Ah. Take number. 824 01:47:36,212 --> 01:47:38,296 But I'm the only one here. 825 01:47:43,010 --> 01:47:44,636 Oh. 826 01:48:14,208 --> 01:48:15,542 Who are you? 827 01:48:15,709 --> 01:48:18,378 My name is Nudnik Shpilkes. Who are you? 828 01:48:18,546 --> 01:48:21,172 -I am Siegfried. -[LOUDLY] Did you say Siegfried? 829 01:48:21,340 --> 01:48:22,340 [FEEDBACK SQUEALS] 830 01:48:22,508 --> 01:48:23,508 Max! 831 01:48:23,717 --> 01:48:24,759 Yes. 832 01:48:24,927 --> 01:48:26,845 I understand that you're the man to see... 833 01:48:27,012 --> 01:48:30,056 ...if someone is interested in acquiring items of a nuclear nature. 834 01:48:30,224 --> 01:48:31,724 How do I know you're not CONTROL? 835 01:48:31,892 --> 01:48:33,810 If I were CONTROL, you'd already be dead. 836 01:48:33,978 --> 01:48:35,895 If you were CONTROL, you'd already be dead. 837 01:48:36,063 --> 01:48:40,066 Well, neither of us is dead, so I'm obviously not from CONTROL. 838 01:48:43,737 --> 01:48:45,738 That actually makes sense. 839 01:48:47,074 --> 01:48:50,160 Follow me, Mr. Shpilkes. 840 01:48:56,375 --> 01:48:58,418 Test. Test. 841 01:49:01,589 --> 01:49:04,424 MAX: Ah. The "Ode to Joy" from Beethoven's Ninth. 842 01:49:04,592 --> 01:49:08,595 Stone deaf when he wrote it. Syphilis. Fun stuff. 843 01:49:09,221 --> 01:49:13,766 Yes, a personal favorite. A bit familiar, but it ends with a bang. 844 01:49:15,102 --> 01:49:16,603 You're doing great, Max. 845 01:49:16,770 --> 01:49:20,815 What I'm about to show you is the inner sanctum of our entire operation. 846 01:49:20,983 --> 01:49:23,526 [LOUDLY] The inner sanctum of the entire operation? 847 01:49:23,694 --> 01:49:25,695 [FEEDBACK SQUEALS] 848 01:49:27,406 --> 01:49:28,448 Yes. 849 01:49:37,333 --> 01:49:38,791 This is it? 850 01:49:38,959 --> 01:49:40,418 Of course not. I lied. 851 01:49:40,586 --> 01:49:41,878 He does that. 852 01:49:42,046 --> 01:49:45,006 I'm going to kill you, and then I'm going to kill your partner. 853 01:49:45,174 --> 01:49:46,966 I don't know who you're talking about. 854 01:49:52,139 --> 01:49:55,767 MAX: Ah. Mrs. Shpilkes must be lost. 855 01:49:55,935 --> 01:49:59,187 I think it's only fair to warn you, this facility is surrounded... 856 01:49:59,355 --> 01:50:02,273 ...by a highly trained team of 130 Black Op snipers. 857 01:50:02,441 --> 01:50:04,400 -I don't believe you. -Would you believe... 858 01:50:04,568 --> 01:50:06,569 ...two dozen Delta Force commandos? 859 01:50:06,737 --> 01:50:09,280 -No. -How about Chuck Norris with a BB gun? 860 01:50:09,823 --> 01:50:11,282 Goodbye, Mr. Smart. 861 01:50:12,660 --> 01:50:13,785 [DOOR SLAMS] 862 01:50:13,953 --> 01:50:17,664 Well, Mr. Shtarker, I think you've underestimated me... 863 01:50:17,831 --> 01:50:19,832 ...and the element of surpr--! 864 01:50:29,885 --> 01:50:32,637 99, we've been compromised. Get out. 865 01:50:52,533 --> 01:50:54,200 COMPUTERIZED VOICE: Access denied. 866 01:50:56,495 --> 01:50:58,663 [GRUNTING] 867 01:51:06,630 --> 01:51:09,257 [MAX GRUNTING] 868 01:51:17,725 --> 01:51:19,559 [GRUNTING] 869 01:51:24,064 --> 01:51:26,566 Access denied. Access denied. 870 01:51:26,734 --> 01:51:29,235 Access denied. 871 01:51:42,249 --> 01:51:43,291 AGENT 99: Max, where are you? 872 01:51:43,459 --> 01:51:45,710 99, I found the yellowcake. 873 01:51:45,878 --> 01:51:47,545 Of course you did, it's a bakery. 874 01:51:47,713 --> 01:51:50,381 No, not yellow "cake" cake, yellowcake uranium. 875 01:51:50,549 --> 01:51:55,053 Although there is yellow "cake" cake here as well. 876 01:51:55,888 --> 01:51:57,138 Oh, Max. 877 01:52:24,792 --> 01:52:26,501 Max, do you read--? 878 01:52:26,668 --> 01:52:27,960 99! 879 01:52:28,128 --> 01:52:29,962 What happened to your radio? 880 01:52:30,130 --> 01:52:33,132 I swallowed it. I can get it back, but you may not want it. 881 01:52:33,300 --> 01:52:35,134 -Good Lord. -Listen... 882 01:52:35,302 --> 01:52:37,804 ...I've placed charges at points all over the building. 883 01:52:37,971 --> 01:52:41,682 What? Max, you can't blow up a building full of radioactive material! 884 01:52:41,850 --> 01:52:45,770 I know that, 99. I've placed only enough charges to safely bury the weapons lab. 885 01:52:46,814 --> 01:52:47,980 Max, that's brilliant. 886 01:52:48,148 --> 01:52:51,984 Wow. That's maybe the nicest thing you've ever said to me. 887 01:52:52,486 --> 01:52:54,112 [GUNFIRE] 888 01:52:57,616 --> 01:52:59,450 [BEEPING] 889 01:53:14,716 --> 01:53:17,343 [GROANING] 890 01:53:20,347 --> 01:53:24,308 -I don't get it, I thought he was dead! -I will say this, he is not a quitter. 891 01:53:40,784 --> 01:53:43,327 This is just ridiculous! 892 01:53:49,543 --> 01:53:50,543 99! 893 01:53:50,711 --> 01:53:51,878 Wake up, 99. 894 01:53:52,045 --> 01:53:54,213 Maybe you should kiss him again. 895 01:53:55,716 --> 01:53:56,966 [IN PUNJABI] 896 01:53:57,134 --> 01:54:00,428 Wait, I know that voice. The chatter! Dalip. 897 01:54:00,637 --> 01:54:02,346 [IN PUNJABI] 898 01:54:03,765 --> 01:54:05,892 [YELLS] 899 01:54:08,228 --> 01:54:09,395 Ow! That was me! 900 01:54:13,317 --> 01:54:15,359 -Max? -I'm-- Yep, still fighting. 901 01:54:34,421 --> 01:54:38,925 Now, Dalip, I can prove that I know you. Your favorite dish is chicken tikka! 902 01:54:39,676 --> 01:54:42,720 Like me, you enjoy American Top 40 with Ryan Seacrest. 903 01:54:55,192 --> 01:54:56,776 [GROANS] 904 01:54:56,944 --> 01:54:58,653 Ow . 905 01:55:08,413 --> 01:55:11,582 Wait, wait, Dalip, there's something else that I know. 906 01:55:11,750 --> 01:55:12,917 Max. Max. 907 01:55:13,085 --> 01:55:16,796 Your marriage is in trouble. Your darling wife, Zeenat, is leaving you. 908 01:55:17,422 --> 01:55:19,632 But there is still hope. 909 01:55:19,800 --> 01:55:21,259 Do you love her? 910 01:55:26,473 --> 01:55:30,309 -Wha--? -Then show her. Go home for lunch. 911 01:55:30,477 --> 01:55:33,062 Take her with you the next time you go to kill someone. 912 01:55:33,480 --> 01:55:35,064 She just wants to be with you... 913 01:55:35,232 --> 01:55:37,483 ...and that means less time with her sister... 914 01:55:37,651 --> 01:55:40,361 ...who we both know is undermining your relationship. 915 01:55:41,196 --> 01:55:43,656 Kick the gun to me. 916 01:55:43,824 --> 01:55:45,366 99, please. 917 01:55:46,118 --> 01:55:47,660 Big people feel pain too. 918 01:55:59,840 --> 01:56:01,173 What are you doing? 919 01:56:01,967 --> 01:56:04,343 Oh, no. Oh, no. 920 01:56:04,511 --> 01:56:06,178 Max! 921 01:56:08,515 --> 01:56:13,185 Okay. Okay. That's all right. That's okay. 922 01:56:13,353 --> 01:56:15,104 [DALIP SOBBING] 923 01:56:15,272 --> 01:56:18,441 Her sister's such a bitch. 924 01:56:25,991 --> 01:56:28,284 -You all right? -Yeah. That was amazing. 925 01:56:29,578 --> 01:56:30,953 Thank you. 926 01:56:33,040 --> 01:56:34,582 We gotta go. 927 01:56:43,133 --> 01:56:44,175 99. 928 01:56:51,016 --> 01:56:53,726 -What was that? -I cramped up. 929 01:56:56,229 --> 01:56:57,730 Come on. Come here. 930 01:56:58,065 --> 01:56:59,732 Good idea. 931 01:56:59,900 --> 01:57:03,653 We will climb up with you, and we'll all go...together. 932 01:57:08,075 --> 01:57:09,992 [IN RUSSIAN] 933 01:57:13,622 --> 01:57:14,955 MAX: He left us here. 934 01:57:15,290 --> 01:57:16,916 What a douche. 935 01:57:34,643 --> 01:57:37,561 Missed it by that much. 936 01:57:41,358 --> 01:57:44,276 Well, that's convenient. Shoot them. 937 01:57:52,786 --> 01:57:55,121 Whatever you do, 99, don't look down! 938 01:57:55,288 --> 01:57:58,916 I'm gonna try to get us over to that ledge! We can do this, 99! 939 01:58:00,252 --> 01:58:01,293 Max. 940 01:58:01,962 --> 01:58:02,962 Right. 941 01:58:07,801 --> 01:58:09,051 AGENT 99: Thanks, Chief. 942 01:58:09,636 --> 01:58:11,178 Okay, no problem. 943 01:58:11,346 --> 01:58:14,181 The Chief is thrilled. He sent 23 out to observe the cleanup. 944 01:58:14,349 --> 01:58:15,391 Great. 945 01:58:16,601 --> 01:58:20,855 Listen, is it possible that you could answer a personal question? 946 01:58:21,022 --> 01:58:22,857 It's possible. 947 01:58:23,692 --> 01:58:25,818 Why did you change your looks? 948 01:58:26,945 --> 01:58:30,573 Oh. Um.... That's not really a personal question. 949 01:58:30,866 --> 01:58:34,368 Things from my non-work sphere spilled into my work sphere. 950 01:58:34,536 --> 01:58:38,497 Facts became known, identities were compromised, and I became a brunette. 951 01:58:38,665 --> 01:58:41,709 Wow. That is a great story... 952 01:58:41,877 --> 01:58:45,296 ...in which you revealed absolutely nothing about yourself. 953 01:58:50,719 --> 01:58:52,344 I blew a mission. 954 01:58:54,139 --> 01:58:58,809 I was involved with someone from work. I lost focus. The mission blew up. 955 01:58:58,977 --> 01:59:03,439 I broke it off with that person, but my identity had already been revealed. 956 01:59:03,607 --> 01:59:05,191 So I had two choices. 957 01:59:05,358 --> 01:59:08,027 I could either spend the rest of my life behind a desk... 958 01:59:08,904 --> 01:59:10,863 ...which would be like eight hours a day... 959 01:59:11,031 --> 01:59:13,741 ...of scraping a cheese grater against my forehead. 960 01:59:13,909 --> 01:59:15,743 -Oh, you know. -Yes. 961 01:59:15,911 --> 01:59:18,537 Or I could change my face, so that's what I did. 962 01:59:21,374 --> 01:59:26,045 And it was painful, but it needed to be done, and s-- 963 01:59:30,509 --> 01:59:33,803 -I don't wanna talk about this anymore. -Okay. 964 01:59:37,265 --> 01:59:39,558 I used to look like my mom. 965 01:59:44,898 --> 01:59:47,900 I used to look like two of my moms put together. 966 02:00:26,147 --> 02:00:28,983 Sir, if I may ask... 967 02:00:29,150 --> 02:00:31,318 ...how did you choose the target? 968 02:00:31,486 --> 02:00:33,863 -Why Los Angeles? -Major city... 969 02:00:34,030 --> 02:00:35,906 ...lots of media attention... 970 02:00:36,283 --> 02:00:37,950 ...and the president will be there. 971 02:00:38,451 --> 02:00:41,745 Still, it's too bad about all the dead movie stars. 972 02:00:41,913 --> 02:00:43,205 Yes. 973 02:00:43,373 --> 02:00:47,751 What will we do without their razor-sharp political advice? 974 02:00:52,257 --> 02:00:55,342 Oh, my God, have you eaten the crew? 975 02:00:55,844 --> 02:00:58,429 Oh, look, it understands. 976 02:00:58,597 --> 02:01:00,264 Get back to work. 977 02:01:16,489 --> 02:01:20,659 AGENT 99: No, that's not possible. No, no, no. Max said that-- 978 02:01:23,121 --> 02:01:24,288 No. 979 02:01:28,001 --> 02:01:29,960 That doesn't make any sense. 980 02:01:31,713 --> 02:01:34,673 Yellowcake uranium, warheads, an entire production line. 981 02:01:34,841 --> 02:01:37,801 There's nothing here but what used to be a bakery. 982 02:01:37,969 --> 02:01:40,512 There are no weapons? No radioactivity of any kind? 983 02:01:40,680 --> 02:01:43,474 Nothing. I've swept the entire area, and it's clean. 984 02:01:43,642 --> 02:01:46,852 -But Max said that he s-- -Did you see the evidence yourself? 985 02:01:47,354 --> 02:01:48,687 No. 986 02:01:49,064 --> 02:01:51,857 No, every time he found something, he was alone. 987 02:01:58,073 --> 02:01:59,865 What do you want me to do with Max? 988 02:02:00,033 --> 02:02:01,533 -Do with Max? -Max? 989 02:02:04,162 --> 02:02:06,664 You were right when you said I shouldn't trust you. 990 02:02:08,500 --> 02:02:09,708 Give me the phone. 991 02:02:14,005 --> 02:02:16,465 And who might this be? Siegfried? 992 02:02:16,633 --> 02:02:17,800 Hello, Max. 993 02:02:17,968 --> 02:02:19,009 Chief? 994 02:02:21,429 --> 02:02:23,222 Knockout gas, 99? 995 02:02:23,390 --> 02:02:26,725 Please. I have trained my body to be impervious to-- 996 02:02:26,893 --> 02:02:28,227 That's the new stuff. 997 02:02:31,189 --> 02:02:32,731 Oh, Max. 998 02:02:40,115 --> 02:02:42,157 CHIEF: I'm very disappointed, Max. 999 02:02:42,325 --> 02:02:45,244 I thought you and I were supposedly cut from the same cloth. 1000 02:02:45,412 --> 02:02:47,579 How can you think that I am a double agent? 1001 02:02:47,747 --> 02:02:50,249 You lied about finding evidence of radioactivity. 1002 02:02:50,417 --> 02:02:52,710 Killed Krstic before anybody could question him. 1003 02:02:52,877 --> 02:02:56,088 There's a matter of your stoving my head in with a fire extinguisher. 1004 02:02:56,256 --> 02:03:00,551 I said I was sorry. You just didn't hear me, because you were in a mini coma. 1005 02:03:00,719 --> 02:03:02,428 You've made CONTROL a laughingstock. 1006 02:03:02,595 --> 02:03:05,389 The vice president wants to shut us down, you know. 1007 02:03:08,143 --> 02:03:09,184 99. 1008 02:03:09,894 --> 02:03:11,478 This whole week... 1009 02:03:12,105 --> 02:03:13,397 ...last night... 1010 02:03:14,315 --> 02:03:15,524 ...you know me. 1011 02:03:15,692 --> 02:03:17,109 Apparently not. 1012 02:03:17,944 --> 02:03:19,111 Oh, my God! 1013 02:03:19,279 --> 02:03:21,405 You two? You and Max? 1014 02:03:21,573 --> 02:03:24,283 You said we had to break up because we work together. 1015 02:03:24,451 --> 02:03:25,617 Oh, my God! You and 23? 1016 02:03:26,244 --> 02:03:28,704 I am so sexually threatened right now. 1017 02:03:32,625 --> 02:03:34,001 [LINE RINGING] 1018 02:03:34,169 --> 02:03:35,669 MAN [ON RECORDING]: You have reached... 1019 02:03:35,837 --> 02:03:37,713 ...the United States Department of Homeland Security. 1020 02:03:37,881 --> 02:03:40,340 For threats against the continental United States, press 1 . 1021 02:03:40,508 --> 02:03:43,302 For threats against Hawaii, press 2. For threats against Puerto Rico.... 1022 02:03:43,470 --> 02:03:44,803 [SHTARKER BREATHING NOISILY] 1023 02:03:44,971 --> 02:03:48,390 You know, you're the only human being I know who snores when he's awake? 1024 02:03:48,558 --> 02:03:50,184 If you're calling from a rotary.... 1025 02:03:50,351 --> 02:03:52,978 Okay, today's threat assessment. 1026 02:03:53,146 --> 02:03:57,649 -There are 72 threats on the list. Mike? -Thank you, Mr. Vice President. 1027 02:03:57,817 --> 02:04:01,070 Okay, we have a deteriorating situation in Venezuela. 1028 02:04:01,237 --> 02:04:03,822 We have a deteriorating situation in Afghanistan. 1029 02:04:03,990 --> 02:04:06,658 What about the deteriorating situation in North Korea? 1030 02:04:06,826 --> 02:04:08,702 -I was getting to that. -When? Next week? 1031 02:04:08,870 --> 02:04:11,205 Yes, next Tuesday, right after I kick your ass. 1032 02:04:11,372 --> 02:04:15,626 Gentlemen, when we argue, the terrorists win. 1033 02:04:19,089 --> 02:04:21,840 Anyway, last night at a private dinner... 1034 02:04:22,008 --> 02:04:25,719 ...President Kim Jong-il made a very odd threat to, and I quote: 1035 02:04:25,887 --> 02:04:28,514 "Make a pudding from the bones of Americans." 1036 02:04:28,681 --> 02:04:30,516 That guy's insane. 1037 02:04:30,683 --> 02:04:34,686 Doesn't he know bones are crunchy? Who'd want a crunchy pudding? 1038 02:04:34,854 --> 02:04:36,563 [PHONE RINGS] 1039 02:04:36,731 --> 02:04:37,773 War room. 1040 02:04:37,941 --> 02:04:41,944 Finally. My name is Siegfried, and I represent KAOS. 1041 02:04:42,112 --> 02:04:43,445 Over the past few months... 1042 02:04:43,613 --> 02:04:46,323 ...we have assembled a stockpile of nuclear weapons... 1043 02:04:46,491 --> 02:04:51,370 ...which we have distributed to 20 unfriendly, unstable dictators. 1044 02:04:52,163 --> 02:04:55,415 For the moment, KAOS retains the bomb activation codes... 1045 02:04:55,583 --> 02:04:59,503 ...but we will release the codes unless our demands are met. 1046 02:04:59,671 --> 02:05:00,712 What are your demands? 1047 02:05:00,880 --> 02:05:02,965 200 billion dollars by 3 p.m. 1048 02:05:03,133 --> 02:05:05,676 200 billion dollars by 3 p.m.? 1049 02:05:05,844 --> 02:05:07,219 You seem a bit slow. 1050 02:05:07,387 --> 02:05:10,597 -Is there someone else I can talk to? -Good one. 1051 02:05:11,182 --> 02:05:13,892 Look, Siegfried, we don't negotiate with terrorists... 1052 02:05:14,060 --> 02:05:16,395 ...and you're obviously bluffing. Take a hike. 1053 02:05:16,563 --> 02:05:18,230 CHIEF: What? Are you kidding me? 1054 02:05:18,398 --> 02:05:22,025 You spent the morning talking about pudding, and you ignore a credible threat? 1055 02:05:22,193 --> 02:05:24,653 Credible? Come on. KAOS has been defunct for 20 years. 1056 02:05:24,821 --> 02:05:27,364 CHIEF: With all due respect, the CIA knows nothing about KAOS. 1057 02:05:27,532 --> 02:05:29,950 CONTROL has to be in charge here. 1058 02:05:30,118 --> 02:05:33,120 -Like when you bombed that bakery? -Muffins of mass destruction. 1059 02:05:33,288 --> 02:05:34,830 [MEN LAUGHING] 1060 02:05:34,998 --> 02:05:37,166 That's it! I've been waiting for this since Nixon. 1061 02:05:37,333 --> 02:05:40,586 -Here we go. -I got a new pacemaker, I can go all day! 1062 02:05:40,753 --> 02:05:42,796 -Okay! -Okay! Come on! 1063 02:05:46,092 --> 02:05:48,719 It seems like they don't believe you. 1064 02:05:49,262 --> 02:05:53,599 Which is why we've arranged for a little demonstration. 1065 02:06:41,606 --> 02:06:43,398 Chief, you wanted to see me? 1066 02:06:43,566 --> 02:06:46,985 Yes. You and 23 are coming with me to see the president. 1067 02:06:47,153 --> 02:06:49,863 -Can't you call him? -Vice president won't let me through. 1068 02:06:50,281 --> 02:06:53,116 I can't believe we have to go all the way to Los Angeles. 1069 02:06:53,284 --> 02:06:55,118 Why is the president never here? 1070 02:06:55,286 --> 02:06:57,829 I'm sure whatever he's doing is vital to the nation. 1071 02:06:58,206 --> 02:07:00,082 "Good night, moon. 1072 02:07:00,833 --> 02:07:03,794 Good night, cow jumping over the moon." 1073 02:07:04,796 --> 02:07:08,090 Actually, I think you would suck as my teacher. 1074 02:07:08,258 --> 02:07:10,759 Well, from wh-- 1075 02:07:11,678 --> 02:07:14,429 Hey, Smart. Happy birthday. 1076 02:07:21,688 --> 02:07:23,438 I'm fat! 1077 02:07:29,904 --> 02:07:32,030 [BEEPING] 1078 02:07:33,366 --> 02:07:34,825 Gentlemen. 1079 02:07:37,078 --> 02:07:39,871 Oh. Good, the itchy kind. 1080 02:07:40,039 --> 02:07:41,164 My favorite. 1081 02:07:41,332 --> 02:07:43,125 Does this one also have smallpox? 1082 02:07:44,877 --> 02:07:46,128 [CLINKING] 1083 02:07:46,296 --> 02:07:48,422 And that was a human tooth. 1084 02:07:48,589 --> 02:07:52,301 MAN 1 [OVER RADIO]: American Top 40. WOMAN: With Ryan Seacrest. 1085 02:07:52,468 --> 02:07:55,304 MAN 2: Here's a sweet dedication from a little lady named Dalip. 1086 02:07:55,471 --> 02:07:56,930 It's to her boyfriend, Max. 1087 02:07:57,098 --> 02:08:01,643 "Meet me in L.A. Things will be very hot. Nuclear hot." 1088 02:08:01,811 --> 02:08:05,188 I don't know, if I were Max, I would get myself to L.A. 1089 02:08:05,356 --> 02:08:08,400 [MADONNA'S "4 MINUTES" PLAYS ON RADIO] 1090 02:08:14,991 --> 02:08:17,367 Hey! Dumb guards! 1091 02:08:17,535 --> 02:08:21,747 Why don't you come in here so I can make you my pretty little girlfriends. 1092 02:08:21,914 --> 02:08:23,415 You'll have to shower for weeks! 1093 02:08:23,583 --> 02:08:25,375 [BEEPING] 1094 02:08:25,626 --> 02:08:27,419 But you will never get the smell off-- 1095 02:08:27,587 --> 02:08:29,796 You two seem very angry. 1096 02:08:31,549 --> 02:08:33,675 Thank you, sir, may I have another? 1097 02:08:35,970 --> 02:08:37,596 I was kidding. 1098 02:08:45,688 --> 02:08:49,274 9-4-3-6-8. 1099 02:08:51,402 --> 02:08:52,736 [BEEPING] 1100 02:08:52,904 --> 02:08:55,822 9-4-3-6-8. 1101 02:08:55,990 --> 02:08:57,574 [DOOR CLICKS] 1102 02:09:12,882 --> 02:09:14,633 BRUCE: Turn around slowly. 1103 02:09:16,844 --> 02:09:20,138 Guys, you have to believe me. I am not a double agent. 1104 02:09:20,306 --> 02:09:22,808 -We never thought you were. -Yeah, we love you, man. 1105 02:09:22,975 --> 02:09:25,769 Then what's with the firearm and the freak-show expressions? 1106 02:09:25,937 --> 02:09:27,312 For the security cameras. 1107 02:09:27,480 --> 02:09:30,774 If it looks like we let you go, we'd totally get fired. 1108 02:09:30,942 --> 02:09:31,983 Got it. 1109 02:09:34,654 --> 02:09:36,113 So where are the Chief and 99? 1110 02:09:36,280 --> 02:09:38,240 They flew to L.A. to talk to the president. 1111 02:09:38,408 --> 02:09:40,826 I need to get out of here before someone stops me. 1112 02:09:40,993 --> 02:09:42,577 -Overpower us. -Good idea. 1113 02:09:42,745 --> 02:09:44,413 Bruce, I will smash you in the face. 1114 02:09:44,580 --> 02:09:47,165 -Thank you. -Lloyd, I'll simulate your disembowelment. 1115 02:09:47,333 --> 02:09:48,875 Ready? One-- 1116 02:09:49,043 --> 02:09:51,461 Not yet! I haven't punched yet. React when I punch. 1117 02:09:51,629 --> 02:09:53,004 -Oh, yeah. -One... 1118 02:09:53,172 --> 02:09:54,923 ...two, three. 1119 02:09:56,342 --> 02:09:58,009 -Wrong way. -Okay, wait. 1120 02:09:58,177 --> 02:10:00,637 -Sometimes I faint. -I'm not going to hit you. 1121 02:10:00,805 --> 02:10:04,391 No, but when I see blood, or when I talk about blood, or think about blood.... 1122 02:10:04,559 --> 02:10:07,227 There will be no blood. Hang in there. Hang in, buddy. 1123 02:10:37,967 --> 02:10:40,218 [ENGINE SPUTTERING] 1124 02:10:54,567 --> 02:10:56,234 What are you doing, dummkopf? 1125 02:10:56,402 --> 02:11:00,155 Running out in the middle of the road! You could get hit by a car! 1126 02:11:00,615 --> 02:11:03,158 Well, that was ironic. 1127 02:11:17,423 --> 02:11:18,924 PRESIDENT: Chief, I'm not buying it. 1128 02:11:19,091 --> 02:11:22,093 With all our satellites, there's no way anybody could possibly... 1129 02:11:22,261 --> 02:11:24,554 ...have nuclear bombs that we wouldn't know about. 1130 02:11:24,722 --> 02:11:26,097 "Nuclear!" 1131 02:11:26,516 --> 02:11:28,099 -What's that? -Sorry. 1132 02:11:28,267 --> 02:11:31,603 AGENT 99: Mr. President, if I could just please show you some data, you'd agree-- 1133 02:11:31,771 --> 02:11:33,271 Well, just back up here a second. 1134 02:11:33,439 --> 02:11:35,440 First thing I'd like to know is... 1135 02:11:35,608 --> 02:11:37,776 ...what did the vice president say about this? 1136 02:11:37,944 --> 02:11:41,696 I'm afraid the vice president and I had a less-than-cordial encounter yesterday. 1137 02:11:41,864 --> 02:11:43,615 -Less-than-cordial, you say? -Yes, sir. 1138 02:11:43,783 --> 02:11:44,824 I'll say. 1139 02:11:46,202 --> 02:11:48,912 The chairman of joint chiefs sent me this little movie. 1140 02:11:49,080 --> 02:11:50,747 Put it right here on my cell phone. 1141 02:11:50,915 --> 02:11:52,916 Let me share this with you. This is my favorite part. 1142 02:11:53,084 --> 02:11:55,585 VICE PRESIDENT [ON VIDEO]: I got a new pacemaker, I can go all day! 1143 02:11:55,753 --> 02:11:57,295 [GROANING & CLATTERING ON VIDEO] 1144 02:11:57,463 --> 02:11:58,630 Oh, Chief. 1145 02:11:58,798 --> 02:11:59,965 Very sweet tackle. 1146 02:12:00,132 --> 02:12:02,634 Look. Look at the surprise on his face. 1147 02:12:02,802 --> 02:12:05,136 I probably owe you an apology for that, sir. 1148 02:12:05,304 --> 02:12:06,930 No. Please, just save your breath. 1149 02:12:07,098 --> 02:12:09,349 But I have to agree with that son of a bitch. 1150 02:12:09,517 --> 02:12:11,851 We cannot respond to every threat. 1151 02:12:13,229 --> 02:12:14,646 Case closed. 1152 02:12:34,792 --> 02:12:36,835 [PHONE RINGS] 1153 02:12:38,254 --> 02:12:39,296 Max? 1154 02:12:39,463 --> 02:12:40,589 MAX [OVER PHONE]: Hello, 99. 1155 02:12:40,756 --> 02:12:42,591 Trace 99's call, now! 1156 02:12:42,758 --> 02:12:44,634 -Where are you? -That's not important. 1157 02:12:44,802 --> 02:12:47,220 What is important is that KAOS has planted a bomb... 1158 02:12:47,388 --> 02:12:48,680 ...somewhere in Los Angeles. 1159 02:12:48,848 --> 02:12:50,849 We got him. He's still in Washington. 1160 02:12:51,017 --> 02:12:54,269 Listen, while I was in my cell, I had some time to think. 1161 02:12:56,397 --> 02:13:01,484 I realized that even though I was accused of something I didn't do, I was happy. 1162 02:13:01,902 --> 02:13:06,781 Because at least for a little while, I got to live my dream of being an agent. 1163 02:13:07,783 --> 02:13:09,534 And I got to be with you. 1164 02:13:09,702 --> 02:13:12,537 I learned that you have a mean right cross... 1165 02:13:12,705 --> 02:13:15,915 ...you are almost as good a dancer as me... 1166 02:13:16,083 --> 02:13:19,336 -...and you used to look like your mom. -Max. 1167 02:13:19,503 --> 02:13:22,839 Please, 99. All I'm asking is for you to look me in the eyes... 1168 02:13:23,007 --> 02:13:25,592 ...and tell me that you don't feel something too. 1169 02:13:26,385 --> 02:13:27,552 MAN: Freeze! 1170 02:13:27,720 --> 02:13:31,473 Oh, Max. How could I look in your eyes? 1171 02:13:32,850 --> 02:13:34,100 Just turn around. 1172 02:13:41,525 --> 02:13:43,526 Why are you talking into your shoe? 1173 02:13:43,694 --> 02:13:47,072 The old "call forwarding from the shoe phone to the cell phone... 1174 02:13:47,239 --> 02:13:50,575 ...so you don't know where I am, then I appear on the roof behind you... 1175 02:13:50,743 --> 02:13:52,744 ...and surprise everyone" trick. 1176 02:13:52,912 --> 02:13:54,788 -Don't move. -What are you doing? 1177 02:13:54,955 --> 02:13:55,997 How did you get here? 1178 02:13:57,124 --> 02:13:59,000 [VOMITING] 1179 02:13:59,168 --> 02:14:01,252 Do you have another one of these? 1180 02:14:05,091 --> 02:14:06,091 It doesn't matter. 1181 02:14:06,258 --> 02:14:09,260 What matters is that there is a bomb, and I'm here to find it. 1182 02:14:09,428 --> 02:14:11,596 -How do you know this? -I'd rather not say. 1183 02:14:11,764 --> 02:14:13,765 CHIEF: Max, there are millions of lives at stake. 1184 02:14:13,933 --> 02:14:17,102 If you have credible information from a reliable source... 1185 02:14:17,269 --> 02:14:19,479 ...I wanna know it, and I wanna know it now. 1186 02:14:20,564 --> 02:14:23,441 I heard it from America's sweetheart, Ryan Seacrest. 1187 02:14:23,609 --> 02:14:24,943 -Whoa. AGENT 23: Come on. 1188 02:14:25,111 --> 02:14:26,695 It was a coded message. 1189 02:14:26,862 --> 02:14:30,240 CHIEF: Max, we're running out of time here. What are you talking about? 1190 02:14:30,408 --> 02:14:34,244 I received a tip from a KAOS agent who I befriended at the bakery. 1191 02:14:39,750 --> 02:14:41,501 I think we should trust him, Chief. 1192 02:14:41,669 --> 02:14:43,628 AGENT 23: Absolutely, Chief. I'm with 99 on that one. 1193 02:14:43,796 --> 02:14:46,631 Every time I look at Max's puppy eyes, I'm a goner. 1194 02:14:46,799 --> 02:14:50,593 Oh, my God. You've really never had anyone break up with you, have you? 1195 02:14:52,138 --> 02:14:55,056 Chief, you said that you and I are alike. 1196 02:14:55,224 --> 02:14:57,600 That we are both old-fashioned men. 1197 02:14:58,269 --> 02:15:00,395 Well, I have an old-fashioned hunch. 1198 02:15:00,563 --> 02:15:05,150 I have a hunch that you have a hunch that I am telling the truth. 1199 02:15:06,235 --> 02:15:07,318 Max.... 1200 02:15:08,779 --> 02:15:11,990 Any double agent who escapes from a high-security holding situation... 1201 02:15:12,158 --> 02:15:15,785 ...only to fall into the arms of the people that got him in the first place... 1202 02:15:15,953 --> 02:15:19,748 ...is either an idiot or not a double agent, and I don't think you're an idiot. 1203 02:15:20,499 --> 02:15:21,541 Thank you, Chief. 1204 02:15:22,168 --> 02:15:25,503 Now, we know that the president is in town. 1205 02:15:25,671 --> 02:15:29,507 -But what exactly is he doing here today? -Max. 1206 02:15:29,675 --> 02:15:33,970 -Yes. We need to find out his itinerary. -But, Max, the-- 1207 02:15:34,138 --> 02:15:36,848 I know, 99. I need to go get a paper. 1208 02:15:46,233 --> 02:15:47,776 We're in position. More or less. 1209 02:15:47,943 --> 02:15:50,862 Roger. I have the whole security system online. Just remember-- 1210 02:15:51,030 --> 02:15:54,824 Yes, we know. How about a little radio silence? 1211 02:15:54,992 --> 02:15:58,995 I wanna quit, but what can I do? He's married to my sister. 1212 02:15:59,163 --> 02:16:03,625 By the way, I reviewed the security tapes from the explosion at the bakery... 1213 02:16:03,793 --> 02:16:07,837 ...and I know that you let those CONTROL agents get away. 1214 02:16:08,005 --> 02:16:10,256 So unless you do your job today... 1215 02:16:10,424 --> 02:16:16,554 ...your lovely wife, Zeenat, will have eaten her last kebab. 1216 02:16:38,244 --> 02:16:42,163 Blue team, check for access violation at quadrant three, sector seven. 1217 02:16:42,331 --> 02:16:43,373 Copy that. 1218 02:16:44,750 --> 02:16:45,917 Go. 1219 02:17:03,394 --> 02:17:05,103 SHTARKER: That's it. You're there. 1220 02:17:36,844 --> 02:17:38,595 Door secure. 1221 02:18:11,128 --> 02:18:13,379 We need to get everyone out and shut this place. 1222 02:18:13,547 --> 02:18:15,006 We've swept the building. 1223 02:18:15,174 --> 02:18:18,968 The Secret Service doesn't make mistakes like the fabulous bakery boys. 1224 02:18:19,136 --> 02:18:21,054 Who told you about that? Who told you? 1225 02:18:21,221 --> 02:18:23,514 Take it easy. You'll give yourself a heart attack. 1226 02:18:23,682 --> 02:18:26,309 And this day will not include me blowing into your mouth. 1227 02:18:26,477 --> 02:18:29,479 -You want a piece of me? -Come on, Chief! he's not worth it. 1228 02:18:29,647 --> 02:18:31,272 -Hey. -I'm shaking. I'm shaking. 1229 02:18:31,440 --> 02:18:32,482 You better watch it. 1230 02:18:32,650 --> 02:18:34,150 CHIEF: Let me at him! 1231 02:18:38,072 --> 02:18:40,156 [CROWD APPLAUDING] 1232 02:18:43,535 --> 02:18:45,453 MAN [OVER RADIO]: From Los Angeles, California... 1233 02:18:45,621 --> 02:18:47,497 ...we welcome you to a live broadcast... 1234 02:18:47,665 --> 02:18:49,666 ...of our concert for the president. 1235 02:18:49,833 --> 02:18:52,293 Dignitaries from around the world have gathered. 1236 02:18:52,461 --> 02:18:55,421 We will be broadcasting from the Walt Disney Concert Hall... 1237 02:18:55,589 --> 02:18:56,881 ...throughout the evening. 1238 02:18:57,049 --> 02:18:59,509 MAX: There has got to be another way in. 1239 02:18:59,677 --> 02:19:02,553 Why are we even still here? There are 50 other perfect targets. 1240 02:19:02,721 --> 02:19:06,140 The Golden Gate Bridge, Space Needle. There's no chatter to support this. 1241 02:19:06,308 --> 02:19:09,102 And you know what, I'm done with this. Stop! 1242 02:19:09,269 --> 02:19:12,730 Wait a minute, 23. You're radioactive hot. 1243 02:19:12,898 --> 02:19:14,983 When were you exposed to radioactivity? 1244 02:19:15,150 --> 02:19:18,444 I just got back from Russia. Half the people there are radioactive. 1245 02:19:18,612 --> 02:19:19,654 The bakery. 1246 02:19:19,822 --> 02:19:22,448 You said you swept the area and everything was clean. 1247 02:19:22,616 --> 02:19:25,034 -I did, and it was. AGENT 99: Really? 1248 02:19:25,202 --> 02:19:27,787 Was there anyone else there, or do we just trust you? 1249 02:19:28,247 --> 02:19:29,288 23. 1250 02:19:30,457 --> 02:19:32,166 Your knife wound is seeping. 1251 02:19:32,751 --> 02:19:34,585 Sudden rise in blood pressure? 1252 02:19:34,753 --> 02:19:38,089 Perhaps you're nervous because there is a bomb here and you know it. 1253 02:19:38,257 --> 02:19:41,759 And what is with the briefcase? Could that actually be the football? 1254 02:19:41,927 --> 02:19:44,929 You mean the computer containing the bomb activation codes? 1255 02:19:45,097 --> 02:19:48,933 Exactly. I have no interest in a real football unless it is signed by Joe Montana... 1256 02:19:49,101 --> 02:19:51,310 ...and I don't believe that's the case. 1257 02:19:53,063 --> 02:19:54,814 Well, 23? 1258 02:19:55,607 --> 02:19:57,650 You know what? We're out of time. 1259 02:19:59,153 --> 02:20:01,237 You follow us, she dies. 1260 02:20:11,040 --> 02:20:12,749 Stop this car! 1261 02:20:13,125 --> 02:20:16,544 Max! You idiot! What the hell is wrong with you? 1262 02:20:16,712 --> 02:20:20,048 You don't just slap your hands on a government vehicle! 1263 02:20:21,592 --> 02:20:25,970 All right, that's it! When we get back to Washington, you morons are through! 1264 02:20:29,099 --> 02:20:32,560 Damn it. How have you gotten away with this for so long? 1265 02:20:32,728 --> 02:20:35,104 I can't believe none of us saw it, especially me. 1266 02:20:35,272 --> 02:20:37,648 Don't beat yourself up. You'll be dead soon anyway. 1267 02:20:40,194 --> 02:20:42,278 Chief, he's heading southbound on Grand. 1268 02:20:42,446 --> 02:20:44,030 Thanks, Bruce. Keep us posted. 1269 02:20:44,656 --> 02:20:48,326 AGENT [OVER RADIO]: Hey! CONTROL assholes who just stole my vehicle! 1270 02:20:48,494 --> 02:20:52,914 I know you're listening! You two dickwads put one scratch on that car.... 1271 02:20:54,124 --> 02:20:55,500 What was that? 1272 02:20:55,667 --> 02:20:57,418 Sorry, I'm losing you. 1273 02:20:58,170 --> 02:20:59,212 What the...? 1274 02:21:00,672 --> 02:21:03,174 All right, fellas. 20 dollars if you hit the car. 1275 02:21:05,177 --> 02:21:09,013 MAX: Chief, I have to say, this whole thing really steams my clams. 1276 02:21:09,181 --> 02:21:11,891 I cannot get over the fact that 23 is a traitor. 1277 02:21:12,059 --> 02:21:13,476 Sand trap! 1278 02:21:13,644 --> 02:21:16,479 Now I know how you felt when you thought I was a traitor. 1279 02:21:16,647 --> 02:21:17,897 Tractor! 1280 02:21:18,065 --> 02:21:20,942 I don't know how I missed it. I'm usually very observant. 1281 02:21:21,110 --> 02:21:22,443 Swordfish! 1282 02:21:29,618 --> 02:21:32,036 MAX: Are you thinking what I'm thinking? CHIEF: I don't know. 1283 02:21:32,204 --> 02:21:36,040 Were you thinking, "Holy shit, holy shit, a swordfish almost went through my head?" 1284 02:21:36,208 --> 02:21:37,750 If so, yes. 1285 02:21:37,918 --> 02:21:39,210 Come on. 1286 02:22:01,608 --> 02:22:03,401 On behalf of the United States Government... 1287 02:22:03,569 --> 02:22:05,319 ...I hereby commandeer this plane. 1288 02:22:06,238 --> 02:22:08,114 The device is armed. I hope you're moving. 1289 02:22:08,282 --> 02:22:11,242 Don't worry, sir. I'll be well clear. 1290 02:22:15,747 --> 02:22:17,665 BRUCE: Chief, they're headed southbound on I-47 . 1291 02:22:17,833 --> 02:22:19,667 Thanks, Bruce. I got them! 1292 02:22:20,544 --> 02:22:22,253 I need to get down to that car! 1293 02:22:22,421 --> 02:22:25,923 No, no good. If I get too low, he'll hear me coming! 1294 02:22:29,761 --> 02:22:31,721 I have another idea. 1295 02:22:32,556 --> 02:22:34,223 What are you doing? 1296 02:22:36,727 --> 02:22:39,437 Get back in the plane! You're gonna kill yourself! 1297 02:22:40,731 --> 02:22:42,023 Hang on! 1298 02:22:58,540 --> 02:23:00,124 Hang on! We're going in! 1299 02:23:02,211 --> 02:23:03,669 [MAX SCREAMING] 1300 02:23:04,922 --> 02:23:06,047 Sorry, Max. 1301 02:23:11,637 --> 02:23:14,305 Tuesday's not gonna work. Cannot do Tuesday, I'm already-- 1302 02:23:14,473 --> 02:23:16,474 -Mom! Mom! Mom! -Sean! Sean! Sean! 1303 02:23:16,642 --> 02:23:18,643 See how annoying that is? 1304 02:23:38,997 --> 02:23:42,875 See, this is your problem. Some men like women more feminine! 1305 02:23:43,043 --> 02:23:44,502 -I'm not feminine? -No. 1306 02:23:44,670 --> 02:23:45,836 I'm not feminine? 1307 02:23:56,515 --> 02:23:57,515 Freeze! 1308 02:23:58,558 --> 02:24:00,268 That was so cool. 1309 02:24:01,186 --> 02:24:02,520 Max! 1310 02:24:11,029 --> 02:24:12,029 Damn it to hell. 1311 02:24:21,873 --> 02:24:24,000 You know, I might be more help if you untie me! 1312 02:24:24,251 --> 02:24:26,627 There's a knife in my right front pocket! 1313 02:24:31,425 --> 02:24:32,925 [MAX LAUGHING] 1314 02:24:33,093 --> 02:24:34,343 Stop it! Stop it! 1315 02:24:34,803 --> 02:24:35,845 What? 1316 02:24:37,055 --> 02:24:39,682 That's not my knife! That's not my-- 1317 02:24:40,225 --> 02:24:41,517 I got it! 1318 02:24:48,233 --> 02:24:49,900 No, 99, don't touch that! 1319 02:24:53,238 --> 02:24:54,739 Oh, my Lord. 1320 02:25:16,428 --> 02:25:18,512 Yeah! The kid's still got it. 1321 02:25:24,311 --> 02:25:25,353 AGENT 99: Max, hurry! 1322 02:25:27,439 --> 02:25:29,190 MAX: Hold on, 99! 1323 02:25:35,238 --> 02:25:39,116 Chief, we can't stop the car! We have the football, but we do not know the code! 1324 02:25:39,284 --> 02:25:40,743 We need to figure out something! 1325 02:25:40,911 --> 02:25:43,746 These tracks are taking us back downtown, towards the bomb! 1326 02:25:48,168 --> 02:25:51,045 We gotta get you out of there, and you won't survive the jump! 1327 02:25:51,213 --> 02:25:52,254 I'm coming to get you! 1328 02:26:13,610 --> 02:26:15,236 [AGENT 99 SCREAMS] 1329 02:26:17,280 --> 02:26:19,323 -Oh, God! -Hold on, 99! 1330 02:26:20,826 --> 02:26:23,619 It's not over, Max! I'll take that briefcase! 1331 02:26:23,787 --> 02:26:25,830 If you want it, you'll have to take it! 1332 02:26:26,289 --> 02:26:29,834 -That's what I just said! -I know, I'm just trying to annoy you! 1333 02:26:43,682 --> 02:26:45,224 [GROANING] 1334 02:27:18,550 --> 02:27:20,468 Unusual but effective. 1335 02:27:20,886 --> 02:27:22,428 [TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS] 1336 02:27:28,226 --> 02:27:30,144 -You all right? -I'm fine! 1337 02:27:36,443 --> 02:27:37,902 Max! 1338 02:27:38,612 --> 02:27:39,653 Max, your foot! 1339 02:27:45,577 --> 02:27:48,579 -I wish we had more time! -What? 1340 02:28:08,934 --> 02:28:12,102 -Max! -No! 1341 02:28:32,958 --> 02:28:34,416 Oh, Max. 1342 02:28:36,962 --> 02:28:39,088 [SQUEAKING] 1343 02:28:40,465 --> 02:28:41,966 No. No! 1344 02:28:47,639 --> 02:28:50,099 I wish we had more time too. 1345 02:28:52,811 --> 02:28:54,603 MAX: So you did hear me? 1346 02:28:57,399 --> 02:28:58,440 Max? 1347 02:29:02,612 --> 02:29:04,446 But the train.... 1348 02:29:05,448 --> 02:29:07,658 Missed it by that much. 1349 02:29:26,970 --> 02:29:28,846 "Operation Joy"? 1350 02:29:30,348 --> 02:29:34,184 The "Ode to Joy" will end with a bang. 1351 02:29:36,021 --> 02:29:39,106 [PERFORMING BEETHOVEN'S "ODE TO JOY"] 1352 02:29:39,274 --> 02:29:42,443 -Chief! -Yeah, Maxie! Are you okay? 1353 02:29:42,611 --> 02:29:46,697 Listen, I think the final notes of the "Ode to Joy" trigger the bomb! 1354 02:29:46,865 --> 02:29:48,657 We have to stop the concert! 1355 02:29:48,825 --> 02:29:50,117 I'm on it. 1356 02:30:13,224 --> 02:30:14,516 [CLEARS THROAT] 1357 02:30:26,613 --> 02:30:30,199 My buttocks are really stinging from being dragged. 1358 02:30:39,417 --> 02:30:41,877 Hey, grandpa, I already told you-- 1359 02:30:42,587 --> 02:30:45,798 Speak up, son. I'm an old man, you know. 1360 02:30:52,722 --> 02:30:54,348 [CLATTERING] 1361 02:30:57,060 --> 02:30:59,311 I like that tackling part. 1362 02:31:03,608 --> 02:31:06,402 MAX: I am so, so sorry about that. 1363 02:31:06,569 --> 02:31:08,362 Wait! No, no, let him go. 1364 02:31:09,322 --> 02:31:11,448 -There is a bomb. -Where? 1365 02:31:11,616 --> 02:31:14,618 Would you believe in the piano? 1366 02:31:19,916 --> 02:31:22,292 Whoa. How did we miss that? That is huge. 1367 02:31:22,752 --> 02:31:27,256 -Max. Was that--? -A total guess, yes, it was. 1368 02:31:36,015 --> 02:31:38,517 That old son of a gun can take a hit, huh? 1369 02:31:45,859 --> 02:31:50,279 -Do you think I should tell him? -No. Let's just savor the moment. 1370 02:31:58,955 --> 02:32:01,290 He's a funny son of a bitch, isn't he? 1371 02:32:02,000 --> 02:32:04,460 This is the proudest moment of my life! 1372 02:32:07,380 --> 02:32:08,964 Bomb not go off. 1373 02:32:09,132 --> 02:32:11,675 Oh, really, bright-eyes? What alerted you? 1374 02:32:11,843 --> 02:32:15,012 Was it no "Boom, boom," or the lack of a mushroom cloud? 1375 02:32:15,180 --> 02:32:17,848 It was the mushroom cloud for me. 1376 02:32:18,850 --> 02:32:23,687 Well, you did your job, so I suppose I can't kill your wife. 1377 02:32:24,105 --> 02:32:27,691 Although to be honest, I'd be doing the sighted world a favor. 1378 02:32:31,654 --> 02:32:33,530 [SCREAMS] 1379 02:32:36,159 --> 02:32:38,452 What good hang time, huh? 1380 02:32:39,204 --> 02:32:42,414 Yes, Mr. President. Thank you and goodbye, sir. 1381 02:32:42,624 --> 02:32:46,168 86, the President wanted me to convey his personal thanks... 1382 02:32:46,336 --> 02:32:50,047 ...and to tell you how impressed he was with that dragged-by-a-train thing. 1383 02:32:50,215 --> 02:32:54,343 Well, sir, as an agent, I have trained myself to be impervious to pain. 1384 02:32:54,511 --> 02:32:55,552 [DOG BARKING] 1385 02:32:55,720 --> 02:32:57,971 Ah! Hey, it's Fang. 1386 02:32:58,139 --> 02:33:00,808 I wanted him to be a surprise. 1387 02:33:00,975 --> 02:33:04,102 99, please, nobody here knows that we're dating. 1388 02:33:04,270 --> 02:33:05,854 CHIEF: Yes, they do. 1389 02:33:07,106 --> 02:33:08,398 On the cheek. 1390 02:33:09,526 --> 02:33:11,235 -Let's go. -Maybe a little one? 1391 02:33:12,237 --> 02:33:16,114 Hey, new guy. Hold up a second. Welcome to CONTROL. 1392 02:33:16,282 --> 02:33:19,535 We have a tradition called "pick on the new guy." Here's how it works. 1393 02:33:19,702 --> 02:33:22,704 -We pick on the new guy. -And you can't do anything about it. 1394 02:33:22,872 --> 02:33:24,248 Let's try one. 1395 02:33:25,083 --> 02:33:28,085 -You dropped your pencil. -Did you hear the man? 1396 02:33:28,461 --> 02:33:31,755 I don't see a man, I see two little girls. 1397 02:33:31,923 --> 02:33:35,926 I think I'll call you Maureen, and you Brittany. 1398 02:33:36,094 --> 02:33:39,429 -New guy did not. -New guy did. 1399 02:33:39,597 --> 02:33:41,598 AGENT 91 : Okay, new guy-- LARABEE: I got this. 1400 02:33:42,100 --> 02:33:43,600 And I'm going to enjoy it. 1401 02:33:43,768 --> 02:33:45,769 That will make me happy, Maureen. 1402 02:33:46,145 --> 02:33:47,187 Maureen. 1403 02:33:47,355 --> 02:33:48,480 [DINGS] 1404 02:33:48,648 --> 02:33:49,940 Ow! What's in there? 1405 02:33:50,483 --> 02:33:52,317 -And just for the record. -What's in there? 1406 02:33:52,485 --> 02:33:53,735 [LARABEE SCREAMS] 1407 02:33:53,903 --> 02:33:55,404 My name is not "new guy." 1408 02:33:56,614 --> 02:33:57,990 My name is Hymie. 1409 02:33:58,157 --> 02:34:00,576 Now, if you ladies will excuse me. 1410 02:34:02,954 --> 02:34:04,746 This is gonna be so fun. 1411 02:34:04,914 --> 02:34:06,498 Make him high-five me. 1412 02:34:40,867 --> 02:34:42,117 Max, we're gonna be late. 1413 02:34:46,122 --> 02:34:48,790 Oh, Max. Let Maintenance take care of it. 1414 02:34:52,921 --> 02:34:54,004 Ah! 1415 02:34:54,172 --> 02:34:56,131 You've gotta be kidding me! 1416 02:39:33,618 --> 02:39:35,619 Subtitles by SDI Media Group 1417 02:39:35,786 --> 02:39:37,787 [ENGLISH SDH]