1 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074 AmericasCardroom.com brings poker back Million Dollar Sunday Tournament every Sunday 2 00:00:53,100 --> 00:00:55,258 My name is Happy Gilmore. 3 00:00:55,602 --> 00:00:59,434 Ever since I was old enough to skate, I loved hockey. 4 00:01:00,274 --> 00:01:03,191 I wasn't really the greatest skater. 5 00:01:04,027 --> 00:01:06,944 But that didn't keep my dad from teaching me... 6 00:01:07,197 --> 00:01:09,569 ...the secret of making a great slap shot. 7 00:01:11,951 --> 00:01:15,118 My dad worshipped hockey. My mom didn't. 8 00:01:15,455 --> 00:01:20,450 So she moved to Egypt, where there's not a hockey rink within 1500 miles. 9 00:01:21,169 --> 00:01:24,170 Dad took ne to games to see our favorite player... 10 00:01:24,423 --> 00:01:26,748 ...Terry O'ReiIIy, ''The Tasnanian DeviI''. 11 00:01:27,008 --> 00:01:31,172 He wasn't a big guy, but he feared nobody, just Like me. 12 00:01:31,513 --> 00:01:36,174 Handsone feIIow, huh? He said when I grew up, I could be anything. 13 00:01:36,434 --> 00:01:39,601 But all I ever wanted to be was a hockey player. 14 00:01:40,688 --> 00:01:45,184 My childhood was going great, but Life is fuII of surprises. 15 00:01:53,033 --> 00:01:57,944 After the funeraI, I was sent to Live with my grandma in Waterbury. 16 00:02:03,835 --> 00:02:07,038 I was nervous, since I didn't know her that well. 17 00:02:08,048 --> 00:02:11,463 She dressed Like Gene Sinnons from KISS to cheer ne up. 18 00:02:11,719 --> 00:02:14,636 She's the sweetest person in the world. 19 00:02:18,225 --> 00:02:21,060 After my dad died, I developed a short fuse. 20 00:02:21,311 --> 00:02:23,304 That kid stoIe ny party bIower. 21 00:02:23,563 --> 00:02:27,643 Instead of asking for it back, I hit hin in the head repeatedIy... 22 00:02:27,734 --> 00:02:28,564 with a hanner. 23 00:02:29,235 --> 00:02:32,818 Most of the time, I was quick to say I was sorry. 24 00:02:34,657 --> 00:02:38,322 Years Iater, I played junior hockey and still hold two Ieague records... 25 00:02:38,578 --> 00:02:40,570 ...nost time spent in a penaIty box... 26 00:02:40,830 --> 00:02:45,077 ...and I was the onIy guy to ever try to stab someone with his skates. 27 00:02:46,794 --> 00:02:50,044 After I graduated, I had a lot of different jobs. 28 00:02:50,130 --> 00:02:51,589 I was a road worker... 29 00:02:53,759 --> 00:02:55,253 ...a janitor... 30 00:02:59,097 --> 00:03:01,090 ...a security guard... 31 00:03:04,604 --> 00:03:06,762 ...a gas station attendant... 32 00:03:09,942 --> 00:03:11,769 ...and a plunber. 33 00:03:12,945 --> 00:03:16,777 Lately, I've been working construction. It's not bad. 34 00:03:17,115 --> 00:03:18,942 I知 a good shot with a nall gun. 35 00:03:19,284 --> 00:03:24,279 But one day ny boss, Mr. Larson, got in the way. 36 00:03:25,248 --> 00:03:29,328 ApparentIy, he aIso has a short fuse. Look at the nonster. 37 00:03:29,919 --> 00:03:33,751 He got in a few Lucky punches, but I feeI I won the fight. 38 00:03:34,007 --> 00:03:35,999 Anyway, those jobs weren't for ne. 39 00:03:36,259 --> 00:03:40,091 I was put on this planet for one reason--to play hockey. 40 00:03:41,597 --> 00:03:45,761 It's my puck, baby! Don't you ever touch my puck! 41 00:03:46,268 --> 00:03:50,764 Is that Gilmore again? How nany times has he tried out? 42 00:03:51,023 --> 00:03:52,434 At Least ten times. 43 00:03:52,775 --> 00:03:54,767 He has a lot of intensity. 44 00:03:56,779 --> 00:03:58,606 Not a strong skater, though. 45 00:03:58,781 --> 00:04:00,441 Nor the best puck handIer. 46 00:04:05,121 --> 00:04:06,366 But, ny God... 47 00:04:09,959 --> 00:04:11,619 What a shot. 48 00:04:12,711 --> 00:04:17,207 It that goal regulation size or what?! 49 00:04:21,553 --> 00:04:23,213 Number one... 50 00:04:23,722 --> 00:04:26,888 ...number fifty-two...number sixteen... 51 00:04:27,142 --> 00:04:30,226 They saw my power. They won't dog ne this year. 52 00:04:30,478 --> 00:04:31,392 ...number nine... 53 00:04:32,397 --> 00:04:36,145 ...and number forty-three. The rest of you... 54 00:04:36,401 --> 00:04:38,726 ...better Luck next year. 55 00:04:39,237 --> 00:04:42,403 Coach, what's going on? What about ne? 56 00:04:42,740 --> 00:04:44,068 Gilmore. 57 00:04:44,325 --> 00:04:47,242 I called your number, didn't I? 58 00:04:47,578 --> 00:04:49,156 No, you didn't. 59 00:04:50,415 --> 00:04:52,740 Well, better Luck next year. 60 00:04:53,751 --> 00:04:55,827 That wasn't very nice! 61 00:05:02,426 --> 00:05:04,253 You think you're better than me?! 62 00:05:09,683 --> 00:05:11,261 Where you going? I got Subway. 63 00:05:11,518 --> 00:05:12,847 I aIready ate. 64 00:05:13,270 --> 00:05:16,769 I knew the guy working there, so we got extra neatballs. 65 00:05:17,024 --> 00:05:18,850 Great. I got to run. 66 00:05:19,109 --> 00:05:21,267 Can you stay? I had a rough day. 67 00:05:21,528 --> 00:05:22,358 Bye. 68 00:05:22,612 --> 00:05:24,272 -When will you be back? -Never. 69 00:05:31,204 --> 00:05:32,117 Terry, wait! 70 00:05:32,455 --> 00:05:35,124 Wait! Hold on a second, babe. 71 00:05:35,958 --> 00:05:38,284 You're not going for good, are you? 72 00:05:38,544 --> 00:05:41,036 You're going nowhere and taking ne with you. 73 00:05:41,298 --> 00:05:46,292 ALL you ever taIk about is being a pro hockey player, but you're not any good. 74 00:05:46,553 --> 00:05:50,385 I an good! You know what? You're a Lousy kindergarten teacher! 75 00:05:50,640 --> 00:05:53,973 I saw the finger paintings you bring hone--they suck! 76 00:05:55,645 --> 00:06:00,307 I知 sorry. I didn't mean that. They're excellent finger paintings. 77 00:06:00,816 --> 00:06:02,145 Please don't go. 78 00:06:02,401 --> 00:06:05,319 I知 not spending the rest of ny Life with a Loser. 79 00:06:05,571 --> 00:06:06,484 I知 gone. 80 00:06:06,655 --> 00:06:11,317 Good! Get the hell out of my Life! Who needs you? Beat it! 81 00:06:12,327 --> 00:06:14,320 I知 sorry. I didn't mean that. 82 00:06:14,663 --> 00:06:17,498 I just yell 'cause I get so scared. 83 00:06:17,833 --> 00:06:20,158 Scared of being a nobody. 84 00:06:20,502 --> 00:06:23,835 Why don't you cone back upstairs, honey? 85 00:06:24,172 --> 00:06:27,505 I'II give you the oId snoochy-snoo kissy-wissy. 86 00:06:28,843 --> 00:06:32,342 You know Happy will make everything okay. 87 00:06:39,688 --> 00:06:43,187 I want to kiss you all over 88 00:06:43,692 --> 00:06:45,768 And over and again 89 00:06:46,695 --> 00:06:50,028 I want to kiss you all over 90 00:06:52,867 --> 00:06:55,702 Till the night cIoses in 91 00:06:56,537 --> 00:06:59,372 Till the night cIoses in 92 00:07:01,375 --> 00:07:02,454 Terry! 93 00:07:18,225 --> 00:07:20,217 Sit tight. I'II be right over. 94 00:07:27,067 --> 00:07:29,902 Hey, you don't want breakfast? 95 00:07:39,830 --> 00:07:40,576 Grandma? 96 00:07:43,750 --> 00:07:45,992 Put that down! It's my grandmother's! 97 00:07:46,252 --> 00:07:48,922 Cut it out, kid. We're just doing our job. 98 00:07:49,172 --> 00:07:50,749 What are you talking about? 99 00:07:51,007 --> 00:07:53,580 Your grandmother hasn't paid taxes in 10 years. 100 00:07:56,179 --> 00:07:58,504 Grandma, you didn't pay your taxes? 101 00:07:58,764 --> 00:08:01,682 I would have, but I didn't have any money. 102 00:08:02,935 --> 00:08:04,595 Where are you taking her stuff? 103 00:08:04,854 --> 00:08:07,523 I知 not taking her stuff, the governement is. 104 00:08:07,773 --> 00:08:11,605 It's not like I知 taking her stuff over to my place. 105 00:08:11,944 --> 00:08:13,272 Don't get nad at ne. 106 00:08:13,612 --> 00:08:17,610 But she's an oId Lady. Look at her. She's oId. 107 00:08:17,867 --> 00:08:21,034 You can't just take her stuff. She's too oId. 108 00:08:21,287 --> 00:08:25,284 I知 sorry. I have no discretion. Her stuff is now our stuff. 109 00:08:26,292 --> 00:08:29,127 Well, at Least we got the house. 110 00:08:29,378 --> 00:08:32,961 I'II bring furniture fron ny place. We'II be okay. 111 00:08:33,215 --> 00:08:36,631 Now you'II really be nad. I知 taking the house, too. 112 00:08:36,969 --> 00:08:40,302 My grandfather built this house with his bare hands. 113 00:08:40,555 --> 00:08:44,884 My Grandma's been here over 60 years. You can't take her house. 114 00:08:45,143 --> 00:08:49,805 Mrs. Gilmore owes the IRS $270,000 in back taxes. 115 00:08:50,148 --> 00:08:52,473 We have to take the house. 116 00:08:52,817 --> 00:08:57,479 If you can't repay the money in 90 days, we seII the house to someone else. 117 00:08:57,822 --> 00:08:59,150 You hate ne, don't you? 118 00:08:59,824 --> 00:09:01,318 No, I don't hate you. 119 00:09:08,082 --> 00:09:09,326 He hates ne. 120 00:09:12,712 --> 00:09:14,455 Don't worry- things will be okay. 121 00:09:15,131 --> 00:09:16,459 Look at this place. 122 00:09:16,799 --> 00:09:21,128 Sliver Acres Rest Hone. It Looks more Like a country club. 123 00:09:21,470 --> 00:09:23,629 Nice grass, nice people. 124 00:09:23,889 --> 00:09:26,131 I hope you brought your bathing suit. 125 00:09:26,475 --> 00:09:29,144 You're going to make friends in no time. 126 00:09:29,395 --> 00:09:30,059 Mister! 127 00:09:31,230 --> 00:09:34,314 Get ne out of here!!! 128 00:09:35,484 --> 00:09:38,484 Here, eat that! Leave us alone! 129 00:09:39,821 --> 00:09:42,312 Grandma, you could cone Live with ne. 130 00:09:42,657 --> 00:09:44,982 Nonsense, dear. You're a grown man. 131 00:09:45,243 --> 00:09:48,742 I wouldn't burden you Like that and that's finaI. 132 00:09:48,997 --> 00:09:51,997 TeII ne, how is that nice girlfriend of yours? 133 00:09:52,333 --> 00:09:54,491 She got hit by a car. She's dead. 134 00:09:54,836 --> 00:09:58,667 Listen, I will get that $270,000 and get your house back. 135 00:09:59,006 --> 00:10:00,169 I promise. 136 00:10:00,424 --> 00:10:01,587 Oh, sure. 137 00:10:01,842 --> 00:10:05,841 In the meantime, just stay here and have sone fun. 138 00:10:06,181 --> 00:10:08,007 I will, dear. Don't worry. 139 00:10:09,684 --> 00:10:12,353 Pardon ne, but it's nap time. 140 00:10:13,021 --> 00:10:14,847 Nap time--that sounds nice. 141 00:10:15,523 --> 00:10:17,681 -You go. -I Love you. 142 00:10:18,859 --> 00:10:20,852 I Love you, too, darling. 143 00:10:23,364 --> 00:10:26,863 Buddy, do ne a favor. You see that Lady? 144 00:10:27,201 --> 00:10:29,359 She's very important to ne. 145 00:10:29,703 --> 00:10:33,037 I want you to take extra special care of her. 146 00:10:33,373 --> 00:10:34,951 You know what I mean? 147 00:10:35,208 --> 00:10:38,293 I can't accept that. But this is what I can do. 148 00:10:38,545 --> 00:10:42,542 I can take extra special care of that young Lady for nothing. 149 00:10:44,217 --> 00:10:46,210 I appreciate that. 150 00:10:47,053 --> 00:10:48,713 Have a nice afternoon. 151 00:10:49,305 --> 00:10:54,133 Sir, could I trouble you for a gIass of warn milk? It helps put ne to sleep. 152 00:10:54,478 --> 00:10:57,644 You could trouble ne for a warn gIass of shut the hell up. 153 00:10:59,566 --> 00:11:01,891 Go to sleep or I will put you to sleep. 154 00:11:02,152 --> 00:11:05,485 Check out the name tag. You're in my world now, Grandma. 155 00:11:05,739 --> 00:11:07,398 Oh, dear. 156 00:11:09,576 --> 00:11:12,576 Bet you I can hit a ball past that tree. 157 00:11:12,912 --> 00:11:14,905 Twenty bucks says you can't. 158 00:11:15,164 --> 00:11:18,165 Morons, I toId you I want to watch the hockey game. 159 00:11:18,417 --> 00:11:20,908 Cut the golf sissy crap and finish up. 160 00:11:21,253 --> 00:11:22,249 Oh, relax. 161 00:11:22,505 --> 00:11:26,170 You can enjoy your Grandma's possessions for another haIf hour. 162 00:11:28,927 --> 00:11:31,597 Oh, you got a hold of that one! 163 00:11:31,763 --> 00:11:34,433 -You try it. -It's not as easy as it Looks. 164 00:11:34,683 --> 00:11:37,090 Sorry, Ladies. I知 not the golfing type. 165 00:11:37,352 --> 00:11:39,594 You hit a ball past ny ball... 166 00:11:39,854 --> 00:11:43,354 ...we'II finish work so you can watch your hockey game. 167 00:11:43,608 --> 00:11:45,601 Give ne the stupid club. 168 00:11:51,617 --> 00:11:53,277 Look at this stupid thing. 169 00:11:53,535 --> 00:11:57,034 This will be hilarious. Look how he's standing. 170 00:11:57,789 --> 00:11:59,449 You Like that? 171 00:12:13,554 --> 00:12:15,048 HoIy shit. 172 00:12:15,306 --> 00:12:16,136 Back to work. 173 00:12:16,390 --> 00:12:18,217 That house is 400 yards away. 174 00:12:18,476 --> 00:12:19,389 Is that good? 175 00:12:19,643 --> 00:12:22,217 -That's unbelievable. -Beginner's Luck. 176 00:12:22,897 --> 00:12:24,723 I bet $20 you can't do it again. 177 00:12:24,982 --> 00:12:26,310 Bring it on. 178 00:12:39,664 --> 00:12:41,905 You boys are going to pay for that-- 179 00:12:44,251 --> 00:12:46,920 -You hit hin! -He shouldn't have been standing there. 180 00:12:47,254 --> 00:12:49,579 One more time. DoubIe or nothing. 181 00:12:49,840 --> 00:12:51,168 You better pay up. 182 00:13:01,351 --> 00:13:04,684 Oops. Maybe we should get back inside. 183 00:13:05,021 --> 00:13:07,690 You nade a bet. Pay the nan. 184 00:13:25,708 --> 00:13:27,534 Thanks. TeII your friends. 185 00:13:27,876 --> 00:13:29,869 Step right up, foIks! 186 00:13:30,128 --> 00:13:34,957 See if you can outdrive the amazing Golf Ball, uh, Whacker Guy! 187 00:13:37,887 --> 00:13:39,714 That's great. 188 00:13:40,222 --> 00:13:41,302 Very good. 189 00:13:42,475 --> 00:13:46,554 Bend your knees. Remember, it's in the hips. You're doing great. 190 00:13:46,895 --> 00:13:48,473 It's in the hips. 191 00:13:48,730 --> 00:13:51,304 Fifty bucks I can hit it over the highway. 192 00:14:00,158 --> 00:14:02,151 That's real good. 193 00:14:03,578 --> 00:14:05,736 So Long, sucker. 194 00:14:10,585 --> 00:14:12,577 How often do you play? 195 00:14:12,837 --> 00:14:14,165 This is ny first time. 196 00:14:15,506 --> 00:14:18,079 You should play in the Waterbury Open tomorrow. 197 00:14:18,342 --> 00:14:20,335 Yeah, right, I'II see you there. 198 00:14:24,599 --> 00:14:26,259 He's going to play. 199 00:14:26,768 --> 00:14:29,093 And, by God, he's going to win. 200 00:14:39,947 --> 00:14:41,441 Mister, you need a helmet. 201 00:14:41,699 --> 00:14:43,276 Don't worry about it. 202 00:14:49,790 --> 00:14:51,533 Yeah, bring that shit on. 203 00:14:52,459 --> 00:14:53,622 I Love it. 204 00:14:53,960 --> 00:14:55,455 Awesone. 205 00:14:55,962 --> 00:14:58,121 God, that hurt, but I知 okay. 206 00:14:58,465 --> 00:15:00,125 What the hell are you doing? 207 00:15:00,383 --> 00:15:04,215 Just 364 more days till the next hockey tryouts. I got to get tough. 208 00:15:06,472 --> 00:15:07,967 God, that feIt good. 209 00:15:08,224 --> 00:15:10,466 Cut that out. You're making ne sick. 210 00:15:12,812 --> 00:15:14,804 So you're a hockey player. 211 00:15:15,147 --> 00:15:18,066 You got to give that up and concentrate on golf. 212 00:15:18,318 --> 00:15:19,314 Who are you? 213 00:15:19,569 --> 00:15:22,060 I知 the club pro here-- Chubbs Peterson. 214 00:15:22,322 --> 00:15:26,651 I知 offering to teach you how to play golf, personally, for free. 215 00:15:26,910 --> 00:15:27,905 No. 216 00:15:28,161 --> 00:15:29,987 You don't know who I an, do you? 217 00:15:30,246 --> 00:15:31,574 No, I don't. 218 00:15:32,165 --> 00:15:33,991 Back in 1965... 219 00:15:34,333 --> 00:15:38,165 ...Sports said I would be the next ArnoId PaIner. 220 00:15:38,421 --> 00:15:39,416 What happened? 221 00:15:39,672 --> 00:15:41,913 I wasn't allowed to play pro anymore. 222 00:15:42,174 --> 00:15:44,416 I知 sorry. Because you're bIack? 223 00:15:44,677 --> 00:15:47,428 Hell, no. An alligator bit ny hand off. 224 00:15:47,846 --> 00:15:49,009 Oh, ny God! 225 00:15:49,348 --> 00:15:52,681 Tournament in FIorida. My ball went down by a Iake. 226 00:15:52,934 --> 00:15:57,181 Dann alligator just popped up! Cut ne down in my prime. 227 00:15:57,522 --> 00:16:01,769 But I tore one of that bastard's eyes out. Look at that. 228 00:16:02,527 --> 00:16:04,187 You're pretty sick, Chubbs. 229 00:16:04,445 --> 00:16:06,023 I've never seen anyone... 230 00:16:06,280 --> 00:16:09,946 ...who can hit the ball haIf as far as you. You got real talent. 231 00:16:10,202 --> 00:16:14,698 That's nice of you to say, but I trained all my Life to play hockey. 232 00:16:15,040 --> 00:16:18,373 Golf is no different--requires talent, seIf-discipIine. 233 00:16:18,793 --> 00:16:21,284 Golf requires goofy pants and a fat ass. 234 00:16:21,546 --> 00:16:24,463 TaIk to ny neighbor--a great golfer. Huge ass. 235 00:16:24,716 --> 00:16:28,381 I bet your neighbor can't drive the ball 400 yards. 236 00:16:28,720 --> 00:16:33,132 I bet your neighbor doesn't have a shot to get on the Pro Tour. 237 00:16:34,058 --> 00:16:35,386 How would I do that? 238 00:16:35,643 --> 00:16:38,727 You win the Open tomorrow, you're on the Pro Tour. 239 00:16:38,979 --> 00:16:42,146 Then, who knows? Maybe you'II win the Tour Chanpionship. 240 00:16:42,733 --> 00:16:44,476 Get that Gold jacket I never got. 241 00:16:44,902 --> 00:16:47,393 Gold jacket, green jacket-- who cares? 242 00:16:52,576 --> 00:16:55,742 Don't worry. It's nade of wood-- real sturdy. 243 00:17:01,418 --> 00:17:03,411 Sorry about that. 244 00:17:03,754 --> 00:17:06,589 It was good to neet you, but, uh.... 245 00:17:08,342 --> 00:17:10,002 I知 out of here. 246 00:17:10,260 --> 00:17:12,419 This is not real snart, kid. 247 00:17:12,679 --> 00:17:16,013 I thought you were pro material, primed for the big bucks. 248 00:17:23,439 --> 00:17:24,435 Hey, Chubbs... 249 00:17:24,774 --> 00:17:26,601 ...what kind of big bucks? 250 00:17:33,616 --> 00:17:37,115 Stupid golf clubs. Why the hell an I doing this? 251 00:17:40,956 --> 00:17:43,625 Whoa--nust be Burt Reynolds or something. 252 00:17:46,295 --> 00:17:47,623 Good morning! 253 00:17:48,130 --> 00:17:52,293 Isn't this great? BIue skies, fresh-cut grass, birds chirping. 254 00:17:52,552 --> 00:17:57,048 You going to recite ne a poem? Geez, you Love this golf stuff. 255 00:17:57,723 --> 00:18:01,057 A guy your size--why not play a real sport, Like football? 256 00:18:01,310 --> 00:18:04,477 My nana wouldn't Iet ne. Said it was too dangerous. 257 00:18:04,813 --> 00:18:06,473 Yeah, good call. 258 00:18:07,232 --> 00:18:08,726 Hey, who's that? 259 00:18:09,318 --> 00:18:13,149 The shorter guy is Doug Thonpson, president of the Tour. 260 00:18:13,488 --> 00:18:17,568 The other guy is Shooter McGavin, Leading money winner this year. 261 00:18:17,993 --> 00:18:19,072 Who's the girI? 262 00:18:19,327 --> 00:18:22,992 I知 Virginia Venit, Director of PubIic ReIations for the Tour. 263 00:18:23,248 --> 00:18:27,744 Of course. I've heard you've done sone really interesting things. 264 00:18:28,002 --> 00:18:30,837 Right now I知 working on a pronotion-- 265 00:18:31,172 --> 00:18:34,671 You know what would be great? If I could get a Pepsi. 266 00:18:35,176 --> 00:18:36,255 Sure. 267 00:18:37,845 --> 00:18:39,339 Oh, niss? 268 00:18:39,930 --> 00:18:40,926 Diet. 269 00:18:41,849 --> 00:18:43,177 Right. 270 00:18:44,268 --> 00:18:47,104 Hey, thanks for dressing up. 271 00:18:47,355 --> 00:18:51,020 If I wore cIothes Like those, I'd have to kick ny own ass. 272 00:18:51,359 --> 00:18:52,687 Good morning, everyone. 273 00:18:53,027 --> 00:18:57,689 Welcome to the Waterbury Open. Before we begin, I have a treat for you. 274 00:18:57,948 --> 00:19:00,190 Ladies and gentIenen, Shooter McGavin. 275 00:19:06,623 --> 00:19:09,957 Thank you, Doug. I saw Doug play yesterday. 276 00:19:10,210 --> 00:19:13,626 He spends more time in the sand than David HasseIhoff. 277 00:19:14,047 --> 00:19:16,538 Let ne get serious. You're all aware... 278 00:19:16,800 --> 00:19:20,963 ...today's winner will be invited to join the Pro Tour. 279 00:19:21,221 --> 00:19:23,972 AIthough onIy one will becone ny coIIeague... 280 00:19:24,223 --> 00:19:26,382 ...all of you are now my friends. 281 00:19:30,062 --> 00:19:32,387 Thank you. Now go get 'en! 282 00:19:34,900 --> 00:19:39,896 Next up: Lafferty, DanieI and Gilmore...Happy. 283 00:19:42,408 --> 00:19:44,567 Where you taking those clubs, punk?! 284 00:19:46,996 --> 00:19:48,656 Mr. Gilmore, I知 your caddy. 285 00:19:49,082 --> 00:19:51,407 Sorry. I'II carry these. 286 00:19:51,459 --> 00:19:53,582 They're ny grandfather's. They're pretty oId. 287 00:19:54,420 --> 00:19:56,578 What should I do then? 288 00:19:56,922 --> 00:19:59,081 Why don't you just watch ne... 289 00:19:59,341 --> 00:20:02,093 ...and make sure I don't do anything stupid? 290 00:20:04,680 --> 00:20:07,515 Mr. Gilmore, Mr. Lafferty is teeing off now. 291 00:20:07,766 --> 00:20:09,759 Okay. Good Luck, buddy. 292 00:20:11,436 --> 00:20:13,014 Get out of the way. 293 00:20:21,446 --> 00:20:23,438 Where were you that time, dipshit? 294 00:20:37,295 --> 00:20:39,620 ProbabIy the best I'II hit all day. 295 00:20:39,964 --> 00:20:41,791 Mr. Gilmore, you're up. 296 00:21:04,071 --> 00:21:05,067 Dann it! 297 00:21:07,157 --> 00:21:08,236 Time! 298 00:21:09,076 --> 00:21:12,242 Relax. Do what we discussed. Don't Look at the green. 299 00:21:12,495 --> 00:21:15,662 Hit the ball. There's no goalie anywhere to bIock it. 300 00:21:15,915 --> 00:21:19,498 Remember, it's all in the hip. Cone on. Work with ne. 301 00:21:19,836 --> 00:21:23,170 It's all in the hips. ALL in the hips. 302 00:21:23,507 --> 00:21:25,998 It's all in the hips. 303 00:21:26,343 --> 00:21:27,339 Get off ne! 304 00:21:27,594 --> 00:21:30,595 Just easing the tension. Just easing the tension. 305 00:21:30,847 --> 00:21:33,089 Well, ease it on someone else. 306 00:21:51,534 --> 00:21:53,194 What the hell? 307 00:21:57,039 --> 00:21:59,364 Good. Now we just worry about putting. 308 00:21:59,708 --> 00:22:01,202 Oh, yeah. Putting. 309 00:22:03,212 --> 00:22:05,204 Remember what I said. 310 00:22:05,464 --> 00:22:08,381 Use your shoulders to push the ball, not the arns. 311 00:22:08,633 --> 00:22:10,293 Don't break the wrist. 312 00:22:10,552 --> 00:22:14,882 Whoa, you're confusing ne. Just Iet ne put the ball in the hoIe. 313 00:22:29,905 --> 00:22:30,900 Is he kidding? 314 00:22:51,425 --> 00:22:52,919 This is pathetic. 315 00:23:06,858 --> 00:23:08,268 Good shot. 316 00:23:08,609 --> 00:23:09,605 It's about time. 317 00:23:09,777 --> 00:23:14,439 True. I just couldn't get the ball in the hoIe. I wanted to, but I couldn't. 318 00:23:45,311 --> 00:23:47,802 He shoots, he scores! 319 00:23:48,314 --> 00:23:53,141 That was nuch easier than putting. I should try and do that every time. 320 00:23:53,486 --> 00:23:54,814 Good pIan. 321 00:23:55,070 --> 00:23:57,063 -Did you see that? -Yes. Nice. 322 00:23:57,323 --> 00:23:59,814 He got a hoIe in one on a par four. 323 00:24:00,076 --> 00:24:01,404 I said I saw it. 324 00:24:01,661 --> 00:24:04,828 I hope he wins. He's a pubIicist's drean. 325 00:24:05,164 --> 00:24:09,493 A guy who can drive the ball that far--he could really draw a crowd. 326 00:24:09,752 --> 00:24:13,750 So could a golfer with an arn growing out of his ass. 327 00:25:25,575 --> 00:25:29,075 Now, you make this one in four or Iess shots... 328 00:25:29,412 --> 00:25:30,907 ...you win the tournament. 329 00:25:31,081 --> 00:25:32,076 Four shots. 330 00:25:33,083 --> 00:25:37,080 Think of it this way. The other tean has puIIed their goalie. 331 00:25:37,420 --> 00:25:40,919 It's wide open. ALL you have to do is tap it in. 332 00:25:41,758 --> 00:25:43,253 I can do that. 333 00:26:02,612 --> 00:26:04,770 Don't worry. You're doing fine. 334 00:26:05,114 --> 00:26:08,779 ALL you have to do is tap it in. Just tap it in. 335 00:26:09,785 --> 00:26:11,944 Just tap it in. 336 00:26:18,293 --> 00:26:22,955 Just tap it in. Just tap it in. Give it a IittIe tappy. 337 00:26:23,298 --> 00:26:24,792 Tap, tap, tap-a-roo. 338 00:26:28,970 --> 00:26:30,630 Grandma, Grandma... 339 00:26:30,972 --> 00:26:33,130 ...Grandma, Grandma. 340 00:26:36,395 --> 00:26:37,806 ALL right! 341 00:26:48,824 --> 00:26:51,314 He's going to be on the Tour. Super. 342 00:26:54,829 --> 00:26:56,656 That's cute. 343 00:26:57,665 --> 00:27:02,493 Mr. Gilmore, Virginia Venit. I知 P.R. Director of the Tour. 344 00:27:02,837 --> 00:27:03,833 Nice to neet you. 345 00:27:04,088 --> 00:27:05,582 CongratuIations. 346 00:27:05,840 --> 00:27:09,588 I saw that hoIe in one on a par four. That nust be a record. 347 00:27:09,844 --> 00:27:11,836 I got a hockey record. 348 00:27:12,096 --> 00:27:15,844 I tried to stab someone with ny skate. Nobody else ever did that. 349 00:27:16,517 --> 00:27:17,679 That's wonderfuI. 350 00:27:17,935 --> 00:27:20,935 I an a bit bunned. I thought we got money for this. 351 00:27:21,188 --> 00:27:26,182 Cheer up. Next week in Portland, the winner takes hone $216,000. 352 00:27:26,943 --> 00:27:28,522 And the guy who cones in Last? 353 00:27:29,196 --> 00:27:30,525 $2,400. 354 00:27:30,781 --> 00:27:33,451 So no natter what, I'II get sone money. 355 00:27:37,037 --> 00:27:40,536 Yeah. Well, I'II see you next week then. 356 00:27:41,041 --> 00:27:42,369 Bye. 357 00:27:45,212 --> 00:27:48,545 I hate to adnit this, but this is ny first trophy. 358 00:27:48,882 --> 00:27:51,373 I wish that goofy golf guy wasn't on top. 359 00:27:51,426 --> 00:27:53,798 Maybe I'II put a hockey guy on instead. 360 00:27:54,054 --> 00:27:55,880 Happy, shut your trap. 361 00:27:56,389 --> 00:27:58,714 -You were great out there today. -Thank you. 362 00:27:58,975 --> 00:28:01,892 But not that great. A Iot of that was Luck. 363 00:28:02,145 --> 00:28:04,980 Sone night call it Luck. I Like to call it... 364 00:28:05,231 --> 00:28:07,223 ...well, Luck, I guess. So what? 365 00:28:07,483 --> 00:28:09,392 Don't join the Pro Tour yet. 366 00:28:09,902 --> 00:28:12,571 We got work to do before you go against professionaIs. 367 00:28:12,821 --> 00:28:15,491 Forget it. I'II pick up the rest as I go. 368 00:28:15,741 --> 00:28:19,739 Don't be a fooI! People would kiII to hit the Long ball Like you. 369 00:28:19,996 --> 00:28:22,748 You got an advantage over any other golfer. 370 00:28:22,999 --> 00:28:25,324 By deveIoping the rest of your game... 371 00:28:25,585 --> 00:28:27,245 ...you'd be unstoppabIe. 372 00:28:27,587 --> 00:28:29,912 You're right, but I need money. 373 00:28:30,256 --> 00:28:34,917 Don't be an asshoIe. Give ne six nonths. I'II work with you every day. 374 00:28:35,594 --> 00:28:40,422 No, I got to go. I appreciate everything. Wish ne Luck. 375 00:28:44,603 --> 00:28:46,844 Best of Luck, kid. Best of Luck. 376 00:28:47,105 --> 00:28:50,106 Marty, shut up and I'II teII you. 377 00:28:50,442 --> 00:28:52,933 The price is $200 per quiIt. 378 00:28:53,194 --> 00:28:55,864 Well, this is handnade quallty shit. 379 00:28:56,281 --> 00:28:58,950 When do you need then by? Okay. 380 00:28:59,283 --> 00:29:00,943 Good doing business with you. 381 00:29:01,202 --> 00:29:04,535 Okay, everyone. Turn up your voIunes. Announcenent. 382 00:29:04,789 --> 00:29:07,955 Good news--arts and crafts time is extended 4 hours. 383 00:29:08,209 --> 00:29:09,869 My fingers hurt. 384 00:29:10,211 --> 00:29:11,539 What's that? 385 00:29:12,297 --> 00:29:13,957 My fingers hurt. 386 00:29:15,967 --> 00:29:20,130 Well, soon your back will hurt because you just got Iandscaping duty. 387 00:29:20,638 --> 00:29:22,298 Anyone else's fingers hurt? 388 00:29:24,225 --> 00:29:25,553 I didn't think so. 389 00:29:27,645 --> 00:29:30,314 Why do you make ne act Like that, huh? 390 00:29:30,648 --> 00:29:33,649 Mr. Gilmore! Toidy's to the right, dear. 391 00:29:33,901 --> 00:29:36,818 -How's Grandma? -Super. It's arts and crafts time. 392 00:29:37,071 --> 00:29:38,814 Grandma is quite a quiIter. 393 00:29:39,990 --> 00:29:41,899 That's a trenendous trophy. 394 00:29:42,159 --> 00:29:44,650 Happy, I知 so gIad to see you. 395 00:29:44,911 --> 00:29:46,405 I知 gIad to see you, too. 396 00:29:46,663 --> 00:29:48,988 I think about you all the time. 397 00:29:49,332 --> 00:29:52,001 Looks Like everyone's having fun here. 398 00:29:57,006 --> 00:30:00,340 Good news--I nade the ProfessionaI Golfers' Tour. 399 00:30:00,593 --> 00:30:01,756 That's LoveIy. 400 00:30:02,011 --> 00:30:04,503 You know what else is LoveIy? 401 00:30:04,848 --> 00:30:09,011 If I can beat those other guys... we'II get the house back. 402 00:30:09,352 --> 00:30:13,599 Oh, thank God! I can't stand to Live in this place another ninute! 403 00:30:13,857 --> 00:30:15,683 I thought you Liked it here. 404 00:30:16,025 --> 00:30:18,695 That orderIy is nice. Don't you Like hin? 405 00:30:19,028 --> 00:30:20,357 Oh, I do. 406 00:30:20,613 --> 00:30:25,109 It's just that the air conditioner's broken. I知 getting a IittIe warn. 407 00:30:25,368 --> 00:30:27,526 Let the kid fix it for you. 408 00:30:28,037 --> 00:30:30,528 Get the IittIe twisty knobs. 409 00:30:32,041 --> 00:30:34,532 That ain't doing it. Okay. 410 00:30:38,046 --> 00:30:39,873 Mister! Mister! 411 00:30:40,215 --> 00:30:42,540 Get this off of ne! Mister! 412 00:30:42,884 --> 00:30:44,378 I'II be right down! 413 00:30:45,053 --> 00:30:49,216 You know that ''Mister, nister'' Lady? I think I kiIIed her. 414 00:31:01,904 --> 00:31:05,901 Nornan spends more time in the sand than David HasseIhoff. 415 00:31:07,159 --> 00:31:08,487 Cone on, that was funny. 416 00:31:08,743 --> 00:31:11,413 -It was the first time I heard it. -Drink up. 417 00:31:11,746 --> 00:31:16,242 Anyone tapped the keg yet? I'II punp. I知 Happy Gilmore. 418 00:31:16,501 --> 00:31:18,659 Mark Lye. Welcome to the Tour. 419 00:31:18,920 --> 00:31:22,336 I heard about the ace you had on a par four. Inpressive. 420 00:31:22,590 --> 00:31:24,250 You heard about that? 421 00:31:24,592 --> 00:31:26,917 CooI. That's a nice jacket. 422 00:31:27,261 --> 00:31:30,096 You get one if you win the Tour Chanpionship. 423 00:31:30,347 --> 00:31:32,340 Oh, yeah? What's that? 424 00:31:32,683 --> 00:31:34,925 OnIy the biggest tournament of the year. 425 00:31:35,185 --> 00:31:37,854 Oh, really? Where's yours? 426 00:31:38,105 --> 00:31:41,937 Good one. He's funny. I'II have nine in three nonths. 427 00:31:42,275 --> 00:31:43,935 Not if I have anything to do with it. 428 00:31:44,277 --> 00:31:46,270 Whoa, Look out. 429 00:31:46,780 --> 00:31:48,108 You better Look out. 430 00:31:48,448 --> 00:31:51,616 If you're free, join us at 9:00 on the ninth green. 431 00:31:51,869 --> 00:31:54,704 -What happens there? -Secret of the pros. 432 00:31:54,955 --> 00:31:56,449 ALL right, cooI. 433 00:31:56,790 --> 00:32:01,785 I知 out of here. I hear the Asteroids nachine calling ny name. Peace. 434 00:32:02,295 --> 00:32:04,786 And, Happy...dress nice, huh? 435 00:32:05,132 --> 00:32:06,791 ALL right, all right. 436 00:32:17,143 --> 00:32:18,970 AInost nine o'cIock. 437 00:32:41,417 --> 00:32:44,252 PubIic reIations Lady, you seen Shooter McGavin? 438 00:32:44,503 --> 00:32:47,173 -No. Why? -I need to beat the piss out of hin. 439 00:32:47,423 --> 00:32:50,589 Let ne guess--the ninth green at nine trick. 440 00:32:50,843 --> 00:32:52,503 It would appear so. 441 00:32:52,761 --> 00:32:54,339 He does deserve a beating. 442 00:32:54,596 --> 00:32:58,594 But if you beat hin up, I'II have to expIain to the papers... 443 00:32:58,850 --> 00:33:03,014 ...why the new guy beat up Shooter McGavin. More work for ne. 444 00:33:03,271 --> 00:33:04,682 I don't want to do that. 445 00:33:04,940 --> 00:33:08,106 Forget about Shooter. He's just threatened by you. 446 00:33:08,360 --> 00:33:10,685 He's afraid you'II steaI his thunder. 447 00:33:11,029 --> 00:33:12,856 That's nice of you to say. 448 00:33:15,033 --> 00:33:18,366 So, I知 going to go change now. 449 00:33:20,037 --> 00:33:23,786 My girlfriend's dead. She feII off a cIiff and died on inpact. 450 00:33:24,041 --> 00:33:26,283 Really? I知 sorry to hear that. 451 00:33:28,546 --> 00:33:32,625 You should get sone sleep. Tomorrow's a big day. 452 00:33:33,050 --> 00:33:34,711 You're right. It is. 453 00:33:46,397 --> 00:33:49,066 Hello. I知 Verne Lundquist, with Jack Beard. 454 00:33:49,316 --> 00:33:53,314 We have a nice crowd here on this sun-sationaI April morning... 455 00:33:53,570 --> 00:33:56,240 ...for the 22nd annual AT&T Invitational. 456 00:33:56,573 --> 00:33:59,740 Here today are eIite golfers fron around the world. 457 00:33:59,993 --> 00:34:04,240 The favorite is Shooter McGavin. He's won three of the Last four. 458 00:34:08,084 --> 00:34:09,744 Thanks, nan. 459 00:34:10,587 --> 00:34:11,915 Here's ny Last buck. 460 00:34:12,171 --> 00:34:13,831 This is the Last time. 461 00:34:14,090 --> 00:34:17,922 He's just trying to make sone money. Leave hin alone. 462 00:34:19,929 --> 00:34:21,921 I don't know why I知 winning. 463 00:34:22,264 --> 00:34:25,349 I知 in the zone. The hoIe seens to get bigger. 464 00:34:25,602 --> 00:34:27,013 You Like being the favorite? 465 00:34:27,270 --> 00:34:30,686 I知 not. With the great players here, anyone could win. 466 00:34:30,940 --> 00:34:32,435 I'II just do my best. 467 00:34:32,692 --> 00:34:36,524 The real favorite is Portland. Every time I visit, it's harder to Leave. 468 00:34:36,779 --> 00:34:39,780 Must be something in the water. Well, time to play golf. 469 00:34:40,032 --> 00:34:41,277 Good Luck. 470 00:34:42,201 --> 00:34:45,036 I知 a hockey player playing golf today. 471 00:34:45,287 --> 00:34:46,283 Name? 472 00:34:46,539 --> 00:34:47,701 Happy Gilmore. 473 00:34:48,123 --> 00:34:49,783 The guy with the Long drive. 474 00:34:50,042 --> 00:34:53,043 -Caddy's name? -You haven't given ne one yet. 475 00:34:53,295 --> 00:34:55,620 On the Pro Tour, you provide your own. 476 00:34:56,131 --> 00:34:57,459 Really? 477 00:34:59,301 --> 00:35:00,463 Okay. 478 00:35:02,637 --> 00:35:05,472 Easy with those clubs. They're antiques. 479 00:35:07,809 --> 00:35:10,644 Gary Potter. Great to have you on the Tour. 480 00:35:10,895 --> 00:35:15,391 I feeI a Iot of soIid energy coning out of you. Good positive aura. 481 00:35:15,650 --> 00:35:17,310 Nice to neet you. 482 00:35:17,652 --> 00:35:20,986 Is it aIways Like this--TV caneras, people and stuff? 483 00:35:21,239 --> 00:35:23,730 Yeah, a Iot of pressure. Rise above it. 484 00:35:23,992 --> 00:35:26,909 Harness in the good energy, bIock out the bad. 485 00:35:27,162 --> 00:35:29,320 Harness energy, bIock bad. 486 00:35:29,664 --> 00:35:32,333 FeeI the fIow, Happy. It's circuIar. 487 00:35:32,667 --> 00:35:34,161 It's Like a carouseI. 488 00:35:34,502 --> 00:35:37,419 You get on the horse. It goes up, down and around. 489 00:35:37,672 --> 00:35:41,835 CircuIar. CircIe. With the nusic, the fIow. ALL good things. 490 00:35:42,343 --> 00:35:45,509 Okay. Well, great. Thanks. Nice to neet you. 491 00:35:46,347 --> 00:35:47,675 Psycho. 492 00:35:48,182 --> 00:35:50,507 Next to tee off, Happy Gilmore. 493 00:35:52,186 --> 00:35:53,846 Give ne a club. 494 00:35:55,689 --> 00:35:57,017 I'II get it. 495 00:36:09,035 --> 00:36:12,535 Fu--, sh--, fu--, ass-- 496 00:36:21,882 --> 00:36:23,044 Sorry. 497 00:36:28,054 --> 00:36:29,050 Psycho. 498 00:36:45,404 --> 00:36:48,073 What a shot by Happy Gilmore! 499 00:36:48,407 --> 00:36:50,234 Who the hell is Happy Gilmore? 500 00:37:12,806 --> 00:37:14,300 Oh, yeah! 501 00:37:16,143 --> 00:37:17,305 I got it! 502 00:37:19,146 --> 00:37:20,141 Like that, baby? 503 00:37:20,397 --> 00:37:23,066 PIenty more where that cane fron! 504 00:37:25,151 --> 00:37:27,393 Get Virginia Venit in here, now. 505 00:37:27,654 --> 00:37:29,148 Use a five iron. 506 00:37:29,405 --> 00:37:31,813 You think so? Give ne ny wedge. 507 00:37:45,671 --> 00:37:49,004 Five iron, huh? You're fired. Bye-bye. 508 00:38:03,439 --> 00:38:08,101 What are you doing, Happy--riding a buII? You're acting Like a dann fooI! 509 00:38:14,199 --> 00:38:17,864 Doing the buII dance. FeeIing the fIow. Working it. 510 00:38:18,203 --> 00:38:21,370 On the 18th green, Shooter McGavin putts for the win. 511 00:38:21,623 --> 00:38:25,870 His crowd seens unusually snall for this type of nonent. 512 00:38:31,549 --> 00:38:34,384 Most people are over watching Happy Gilmore. 513 00:38:34,635 --> 00:38:36,295 He's the taIk of the course... 514 00:38:36,554 --> 00:38:39,970 ...with his huge drives and bizarre behavior. 515 00:38:40,224 --> 00:38:44,553 He's on the 17th green right now, having trouble cIosing out his day. 516 00:38:44,895 --> 00:38:49,392 Happy, the ball has its own energy or Life force, if you will. 517 00:38:49,734 --> 00:38:52,735 Its naturaI environnent is in the hoIe. 518 00:38:52,987 --> 00:38:54,731 Why don't you send hin hone? 519 00:38:55,406 --> 00:38:58,241 His bags are packed. He has his pIane ticket. 520 00:38:58,576 --> 00:39:00,236 Bring hin to the airport. 521 00:39:00,828 --> 00:39:01,991 Send hin hone. 522 00:39:03,414 --> 00:39:05,905 Send hin hone. I'II send hin hone. 523 00:39:06,250 --> 00:39:08,741 It's time to go hone, ball. 524 00:39:12,840 --> 00:39:15,840 Son of a bitch ball! Why didn't you go hone?! 525 00:39:16,093 --> 00:39:20,256 That's your hone! Are you too good for your hone?! Answer ne! 526 00:39:20,597 --> 00:39:23,004 Suck ny white ass, ball! 527 00:39:29,272 --> 00:39:33,269 Draft a press reIease stating Gilmore is being thrown off the Tour. 528 00:39:33,526 --> 00:39:35,186 I want to see it by 6:00 p.n. 529 00:39:35,444 --> 00:39:39,609 You're right--his behavior is conpIeteIy unacceptabIe. 530 00:39:39,950 --> 00:39:43,283 But golf has been waiting for a player Like this. 531 00:39:43,620 --> 00:39:46,289 A coIorfuI, enotionaI, working cIass hero. 532 00:39:46,539 --> 00:39:49,706 I will not toIerate this behavior. Gilmore is gone. 533 00:39:49,959 --> 00:39:51,786 I got a call fron the Dallas Open. 534 00:39:52,045 --> 00:39:55,710 They're deIuged with calls fron people who want to see Happy. 535 00:39:55,965 --> 00:39:57,958 -They soId out. -AIready? 536 00:39:58,301 --> 00:40:01,551 I know he's a IittIe rough. Let ne work with hin. 537 00:40:03,806 --> 00:40:07,305 Okay. Fine. But he's your responsibiIity. 538 00:40:07,643 --> 00:40:09,635 If he cIeans up, he can stay. 539 00:40:09,895 --> 00:40:12,137 If he doesn't, it's your ass. 540 00:40:12,481 --> 00:40:14,141 And any more of this... 541 00:40:17,652 --> 00:40:19,147 ...and he's gone. 542 00:40:27,161 --> 00:40:28,490 Shooter! Shooter! 543 00:40:28,746 --> 00:40:30,905 What do you think of Happy Gilmore? 544 00:40:31,165 --> 00:40:34,416 I didn't see hin play. I was too busy winning. 545 00:40:34,670 --> 00:40:36,828 But a 450-yard drive is inpressive. 546 00:40:37,089 --> 00:40:41,501 Yeah. Where did he finish again? Dead Last? Yeah, he had a good day. 547 00:40:41,843 --> 00:40:43,421 Did he really make a 450-yard ace? 548 00:40:43,678 --> 00:40:45,007 Where's ny check? 549 00:40:45,263 --> 00:40:46,591 We nall then next week. 550 00:40:46,848 --> 00:40:48,176 I want nine now. 551 00:40:48,433 --> 00:40:49,761 I don't have any checks. 552 00:40:50,018 --> 00:40:53,517 He got one. Give ne one of then big ones, I don't care. 553 00:40:55,690 --> 00:40:57,018 Give ne a beer, paI. 554 00:40:57,358 --> 00:40:58,686 Put that on ny tab. 555 00:40:58,943 --> 00:41:01,778 You were the taIk of the tournament, Gilmore. 556 00:41:02,029 --> 00:41:03,607 Wow, thanks a Iot. 557 00:41:03,864 --> 00:41:08,193 You sure crush the ball at the tee. You'd do well in a Long-drive contest. 558 00:41:08,452 --> 00:41:12,200 You'd make good money, traveIing, hustIing at driving ranges. 559 00:41:12,456 --> 00:41:15,125 I know what you're doing right now... 560 00:41:15,375 --> 00:41:20,370 ...and I don't Like it. So just shut your trap before I put ny foot in it. 561 00:41:22,716 --> 00:41:26,714 Don't turn your back on ne. Listen, this is Shooter's tour. 562 00:41:27,054 --> 00:41:30,221 I worked hard, paid ny dues-- now it's Shooter's turn. 563 00:41:30,474 --> 00:41:34,721 Shooter won't Iet his reign at the top be spoiIed by sone freak. 564 00:41:35,062 --> 00:41:36,472 Did you call ne a freak? 565 00:41:37,064 --> 00:41:39,637 I was on this tour for one reason-- money. 566 00:41:39,733 --> 00:41:42,058 Now I got a new one-- kicking your ass. 567 00:41:42,402 --> 00:41:44,893 I'd Like to see you try. 568 00:41:45,905 --> 00:41:46,901 Let's do it. 569 00:41:48,074 --> 00:41:49,402 I meant at golf. 570 00:41:49,659 --> 00:41:51,319 What's going on here? 571 00:41:51,577 --> 00:41:54,329 I was Looking for the other haIf of this bottIe. 572 00:41:54,580 --> 00:41:57,415 Oh, there's sone of it right there. 573 00:41:57,667 --> 00:41:59,992 -Why don't you put it down? -I know. 574 00:42:01,086 --> 00:42:05,084 Just stay out of ny way. Or you'II pay. Listen to what I say. 575 00:42:05,591 --> 00:42:07,583 Why don't I go eat sone hay? 576 00:42:07,843 --> 00:42:11,176 I could make things out of cIay and Iay by the bay. 577 00:42:11,430 --> 00:42:12,924 What do you say? 578 00:42:17,770 --> 00:42:20,439 CaIn down or you'II get kicked off the Tour. 579 00:42:20,773 --> 00:42:23,774 -That can't happen. -It can, and I don't want it to. 580 00:42:24,109 --> 00:42:25,604 You could be a big star. 581 00:42:25,861 --> 00:42:27,854 I just want to make sone money. 582 00:42:28,113 --> 00:42:31,447 You won't be around Long enough to do that if you don't behave. 583 00:42:31,700 --> 00:42:33,527 What do you mean by ''behave''? 584 00:42:33,785 --> 00:42:36,111 No swearing, no throwing clubs... 585 00:42:36,371 --> 00:42:39,040 ...and especialIy no hitting other players. 586 00:42:39,291 --> 00:42:41,117 You mean no fun. 587 00:42:41,376 --> 00:42:42,954 You can have fun. 588 00:42:43,211 --> 00:42:47,873 That's why I think people cone to see you. But keep it within reason. 589 00:42:48,967 --> 00:42:53,794 I will work on what you call behaving. But I won't act Like a stiff. 590 00:42:54,138 --> 00:42:56,296 Fine. Thank you. 591 00:42:57,808 --> 00:42:59,302 Hey, un... 592 00:42:59,810 --> 00:43:01,470 ...you want to get sone food? 593 00:43:01,812 --> 00:43:04,481 No, thanks. I don't date golfers. 594 00:43:04,815 --> 00:43:06,724 Good. I知 a hockey player. 595 00:43:09,153 --> 00:43:11,479 Just behave, okay? 596 00:43:14,659 --> 00:43:18,822 Happy Gilmore approaches the tee in the 72nd annual CIeveIand CIassic. 597 00:43:19,163 --> 00:43:22,164 Happy Gilmore! Drive it 400 yards! 598 00:43:22,500 --> 00:43:26,165 I can't beIieve I have fans. I waited all ny Life for that. 599 00:43:28,172 --> 00:43:29,832 Don't be aIarned, Mr. Gilmore. 600 00:43:30,090 --> 00:43:33,257 I know we had our probIens, but I知 proud of you. 601 00:43:33,510 --> 00:43:35,253 Thanks a Iot, Mr. Larson. 602 00:43:35,512 --> 00:43:37,504 It's good to see you again. 603 00:43:37,848 --> 00:43:40,173 How's that, uh, thing feeIing? 604 00:43:40,517 --> 00:43:42,842 Terrific. The nall cones out next week. 605 00:43:43,186 --> 00:43:45,344 Well, you hardIy even notice it. 606 00:43:49,525 --> 00:43:51,352 Let's make a IittIe noise here. 607 00:43:53,696 --> 00:43:56,021 Cone on! I can't hear you! 608 00:44:22,558 --> 00:44:24,550 Trying to reach the green fron here? 609 00:44:24,810 --> 00:44:26,221 That's not possibIe, sir. 610 00:44:26,562 --> 00:44:27,557 I beg to differ. 611 00:44:27,646 --> 00:44:31,560 Happy Gilmore acconpIished that feat no more than an hour ago. 612 00:44:31,900 --> 00:44:35,732 Well, noron, good for Happy-- Oh, ny God! 613 00:44:46,247 --> 00:44:47,326 Oh, ny God. 614 00:44:55,090 --> 00:44:58,589 Hey, Shooter, you forgot your nine iron. 615 00:45:02,847 --> 00:45:07,343 A Iarge and econonically diverse crowd here at the MicheIob Invitational. 616 00:45:07,602 --> 00:45:10,271 It's the tour sensation, Happy Gilmore... 617 00:45:10,605 --> 00:45:15,350 ...who's attracting all types to this course. I even saw one guy... 618 00:45:15,610 --> 00:45:19,025 ...wearing one of those beer-dispensing helmets. 619 00:45:27,955 --> 00:45:30,955 Dann you people. Go back to your shanties. 620 00:45:31,792 --> 00:45:35,457 This is a biggie, paI. I got to make sone real money. 621 00:45:35,712 --> 00:45:38,120 What do you think? SIightIy downhiII? 622 00:45:38,381 --> 00:45:39,544 And sIanting Ieft. 623 00:45:39,799 --> 00:45:42,883 No, you think that 'cause you onIy got one shoe on. 624 00:45:44,637 --> 00:45:45,801 Oh, yeah. 625 00:46:00,153 --> 00:46:01,316 Happy Gilmore 626 00:46:32,267 --> 00:46:33,430 You got the ball? 627 00:46:43,028 --> 00:46:44,855 Happy Gilmore fron nine feet. 628 00:46:45,197 --> 00:46:47,024 Here cones the putter throw. 629 00:46:47,366 --> 00:46:52,193 Wait. He's restrained hinseIf. Maybe this is a new Happy Gilmore. 630 00:46:56,458 --> 00:46:59,957 Another tournament here in Dallas, and Shooter McGavin wins again. 631 00:47:00,295 --> 00:47:02,537 He's won here 3 years in a row. 632 00:47:15,893 --> 00:47:17,636 That son of a bitch! 633 00:47:18,062 --> 00:47:22,225 Give ne ny ball! Give it here! Cough it up, you dirty bastard! 634 00:47:22,566 --> 00:47:23,894 I'II rip it out of you! 635 00:47:24,151 --> 00:47:25,147 Give ne-- 636 00:47:25,903 --> 00:47:27,231 Give ne the ball. 637 00:47:32,326 --> 00:47:33,986 You have one eye. 638 00:47:35,579 --> 00:47:36,908 Chubbs. 639 00:47:37,581 --> 00:47:38,744 You took his hand. 640 00:48:21,457 --> 00:48:24,791 That Happy Gilmore is a real crack-up. He's a hoot! 641 00:48:25,044 --> 00:48:28,045 He's bringing in sone big crowds. 642 00:48:28,381 --> 00:48:32,461 Today, one of his fans nooned ne. He had ''HAPPY'' written on his ass. 643 00:48:32,718 --> 00:48:36,134 ''HA'' was on one cheek and ''PPY'' on the other. 644 00:48:36,389 --> 00:48:38,132 I Love what he's doing for golf. 645 00:48:38,390 --> 00:48:42,222 -Well, I知 starting to cone around. -Everyone is. 646 00:48:42,478 --> 00:48:43,972 Well, I知 not, Doug!! 647 00:48:44,229 --> 00:48:45,889 This nan is destroying golf. 648 00:48:46,148 --> 00:48:49,314 I saw two fat bikers in the woods off 17 having sex. 649 00:48:49,568 --> 00:48:51,560 How can I chip with that going on? 650 00:48:51,820 --> 00:48:55,818 -Kick hin off the Tour. -He hasn't broken any ruIes. 651 00:48:56,157 --> 00:48:57,568 He's a disgrace to the game! 652 00:48:57,826 --> 00:49:02,487 Yes, but our ratings are up. We're attracting new, youthfuI sponsors. 653 00:49:02,997 --> 00:49:04,491 I知 sorry, Shooter. 654 00:49:04,749 --> 00:49:06,243 There's nothing I can do. 655 00:49:09,921 --> 00:49:12,756 Then I'II have to take care of this nyseIf. 656 00:49:13,674 --> 00:49:17,340 Grandma, I cane in 9th place. I won $35,000. 657 00:49:17,596 --> 00:49:19,255 So we'II get the house back? 658 00:49:19,514 --> 00:49:22,183 As Long as I don't place Last the next two times... 659 00:49:22,434 --> 00:49:23,928 ...we'II get the money in time. 660 00:49:24,185 --> 00:49:26,178 That's wonderfuI, Happy. 661 00:49:26,437 --> 00:49:28,015 I Love you, Grandma. Bye. 662 00:49:28,356 --> 00:49:29,850 Good-bye, darling. 663 00:49:34,695 --> 00:49:38,360 We should go on that date. I've been pretty good IateIy. 664 00:49:38,616 --> 00:49:41,949 Oh? I hear you broke a rake and threw it in the woods. 665 00:49:42,202 --> 00:49:45,867 I didn't break it. I was testing its durabiIity. 666 00:49:46,123 --> 00:49:49,124 I put it in the woods because it's nade of wood... 667 00:49:49,209 --> 00:49:51,118 ...and he should be with his faniIy. 668 00:49:52,629 --> 00:49:54,456 At Least I didn't punch anyone. 669 00:49:55,548 --> 00:49:59,380 Okay, we'II go on a date. But just as friends. 670 00:49:59,886 --> 00:50:02,887 SIow down. I don't want to be more than friends. 671 00:50:03,139 --> 00:50:04,799 I just net you. 672 00:50:08,896 --> 00:50:10,224 Fit you okay? 673 00:50:10,522 --> 00:50:13,523 I haven't skated since I was a IittIe kid. 674 00:50:15,735 --> 00:50:18,570 Can we get a IittIe time here? 675 00:50:19,739 --> 00:50:22,740 For Happy Gilmore, anything. 676 00:50:26,079 --> 00:50:27,739 You played ice hockey? 677 00:50:28,081 --> 00:50:29,243 Shut up. 678 00:50:31,250 --> 00:50:33,077 Oh, ny God...power fallure. 679 00:50:33,544 --> 00:50:35,537 It's very scary in here. 680 00:50:35,796 --> 00:50:36,959 Did you pIan this? 681 00:50:37,214 --> 00:50:38,543 No. 682 00:50:42,886 --> 00:50:45,721 I thought we were going to be just friends. 683 00:50:46,306 --> 00:50:49,805 What? Friends Iisten to ''EndIess Love'' in the dark. 684 00:51:03,824 --> 00:51:07,656 This song reninds ne of seventh grade. 685 00:51:07,911 --> 00:51:10,402 It reninds ne of ny grandmother. 686 00:51:10,664 --> 00:51:11,992 That's kind of weird. 687 00:51:12,249 --> 00:51:14,325 She took ne to see this novie. 688 00:51:14,417 --> 00:51:17,169 I had the biggest crush on Brooke ShieIds. 689 00:51:18,338 --> 00:51:22,335 My Grandma toId ne I should write her a Ietter, so I did. 690 00:51:22,675 --> 00:51:25,593 I got a Ietter back fron Brooke two weeks Iater. 691 00:51:25,845 --> 00:51:28,514 But it was in ny grandmother's handwriting. 692 00:51:29,348 --> 00:51:31,008 Your Grandma sounds sweet. 693 00:51:31,350 --> 00:51:35,015 She is sweet. That's why I feeI so terribIe. 694 00:51:35,354 --> 00:51:36,517 Why? 695 00:51:37,856 --> 00:51:39,849 No, forget it. 696 00:51:40,692 --> 00:51:42,851 You can teII ne. 697 00:51:43,695 --> 00:51:48,024 She's stuck in a nursing hone. The IRS repossessed her house. 698 00:51:48,617 --> 00:51:49,945 That's awfuI. 699 00:51:50,202 --> 00:51:51,697 That's why I joined the Tour. 700 00:51:52,038 --> 00:51:54,363 I知 cIose to getting her house back. 701 00:51:54,623 --> 00:51:57,458 Don't teII anyone. I知 kind of enbarrassed. 702 00:51:58,878 --> 00:52:01,285 Don't worry. I won't teII anyone. 703 00:52:03,549 --> 00:52:05,043 I'II make you a bet. 704 00:52:06,051 --> 00:52:07,711 Do you aIways carry a puck? 705 00:52:07,970 --> 00:52:08,965 Yeah. 706 00:52:10,555 --> 00:52:14,553 Now, if you get that puck in the net over there... 707 00:52:14,893 --> 00:52:17,894 ...I'II never bother you again. 708 00:52:18,396 --> 00:52:21,065 But if you niss... 709 00:52:21,900 --> 00:52:24,735 ...you have to give ne a big, fat kiss. 710 00:52:25,194 --> 00:52:26,736 And you have to pretend you Like it. 711 00:52:27,238 --> 00:52:28,401 Really? 712 00:52:28,906 --> 00:52:29,985 Good Luck. 713 00:52:43,254 --> 00:52:44,583 Shit. 714 00:52:45,423 --> 00:52:47,830 TaIk about your all-time backfires. 715 00:52:49,260 --> 00:52:50,256 Happy... 716 00:52:53,931 --> 00:52:55,591 ...I didn't see it go in. 717 00:53:08,445 --> 00:53:12,110 I'II give it all to you 718 00:53:13,783 --> 00:53:16,784 My Love, ny Love, ny Love 719 00:53:17,454 --> 00:53:20,123 My endIess Love 720 00:53:37,849 --> 00:53:40,007 Welcome to soggy San Francisco... 721 00:53:40,351 --> 00:53:42,677 ...site of this year's Pepsi Pro-An. 722 00:53:43,187 --> 00:53:45,513 Hello, Happy. I知 Bob Barker. 723 00:53:45,857 --> 00:53:47,849 What an honor. Nice to neet you. 724 00:53:48,109 --> 00:53:50,351 We're playing together today. 725 00:53:51,279 --> 00:53:53,852 That's funny. Who an I really playing with? 726 00:53:54,115 --> 00:53:56,950 In a Pro-An, each golfer plays with a ceIebrity. 727 00:53:57,117 --> 00:53:58,113 Wow. 728 00:53:58,285 --> 00:54:02,532 Nick FaIdo and I won Last year. I'd Like to win this year. 729 00:54:02,789 --> 00:54:04,616 I'II do ny best. 730 00:54:05,208 --> 00:54:06,703 Hey, Gilmore? 731 00:54:07,044 --> 00:54:09,534 You suck, you jackass. 732 00:54:09,880 --> 00:54:11,290 Shut the hell up. 733 00:54:13,633 --> 00:54:17,382 I'd Love to punch that guy in the face, but I'd get in trouble. 734 00:54:17,637 --> 00:54:19,630 You get this on ''Let's Make A DeaI''? 735 00:54:19,889 --> 00:54:21,300 ''The Price Is Right'', Happy. 736 00:54:22,141 --> 00:54:23,137 Oh, yeah. Sorry. 737 00:54:23,392 --> 00:54:25,800 It happens. Let's play sone golf. 738 00:54:31,234 --> 00:54:32,563 Jackass. 739 00:54:36,489 --> 00:54:38,233 The club went further than the ball. 740 00:54:39,993 --> 00:54:41,570 What was that all about? 741 00:54:41,828 --> 00:54:46,822 It's just that it's rainy and that guy.... It just sIipped. 742 00:54:53,756 --> 00:54:58,418 Get a bIanket and suntan Iotion, 'cause you'II never get off that beach. 743 00:54:58,927 --> 00:55:03,174 Just the way you never got into the NHL, you jackass! 744 00:55:09,771 --> 00:55:11,598 The green's that way. 745 00:55:19,197 --> 00:55:22,199 You will not make this putt, you jackass. 746 00:55:27,956 --> 00:55:29,534 Nice shooting, soIdier. 747 00:55:33,962 --> 00:55:35,954 ALL right, Happy... 748 00:55:36,464 --> 00:55:38,457 ...nice and easy. 749 00:55:43,638 --> 00:55:45,963 That was not nice and easy. 750 00:55:50,728 --> 00:55:52,555 That guy is driving ne crazy. 751 00:55:52,813 --> 00:55:56,645 What's driving ne crazy is you not getting the ball in the hoIe. 752 00:55:56,984 --> 00:55:59,819 Don't push ne, Bob. Now's not the time. 753 00:56:04,658 --> 00:56:05,986 Jackass. 754 00:56:10,830 --> 00:56:12,658 This guy sucks! 755 00:56:13,751 --> 00:56:17,914 We haven't seen Gilmore play this badIy since his first day on tour. 756 00:56:18,172 --> 00:56:21,256 He and Bob Barker are now dead Last. 757 00:56:21,508 --> 00:56:25,672 You should be working at the snack bar, not playing golf. 758 00:56:25,929 --> 00:56:27,257 Relax, Bob. 759 00:56:27,514 --> 00:56:32,010 There is no way you could have been as bad at hockey as you are at golf. 760 00:56:32,352 --> 00:56:34,012 Okay, Iet's go. 761 00:56:35,355 --> 00:56:38,356 You Like that, oId nan?! You want a piece of ne? 762 00:56:39,192 --> 00:56:42,276 I don't want a piece of you. I want the whoIe thing! 763 00:56:57,543 --> 00:56:59,784 Now you're gonna get it, Bobby! 764 00:57:20,065 --> 00:57:22,141 The price is wrong, bitch. 765 00:57:33,328 --> 00:57:34,988 I think you've had enough. 766 00:57:36,080 --> 00:57:37,076 No? 767 00:57:40,084 --> 00:57:41,744 Now you've had enough. 768 00:57:42,587 --> 00:57:43,915 Bitch. 769 00:57:46,674 --> 00:57:48,382 That couldn't have gone better. 770 00:57:48,467 --> 00:57:51,172 Instead of hitting you, he hits Bob Barker. 771 00:57:51,428 --> 00:57:52,424 Perfect. 772 00:57:52,680 --> 00:57:54,756 So, see you at the next tournament? 773 00:57:55,015 --> 00:57:59,014 No need. This was on nationaI TV. Gilmore is gone. 774 00:57:59,270 --> 00:58:03,102 Let's get something at the Red Lobster. My treat. 775 00:58:03,357 --> 00:58:04,686 Sone other time. 776 00:58:04,942 --> 00:58:06,769 I thought we were friends. 777 00:58:07,111 --> 00:58:09,436 We are. I just have to go. 778 00:58:09,780 --> 00:58:13,612 I'II be at the Red Lobster in case you change your nind. 779 00:58:13,951 --> 00:58:15,445 God bIess! 780 00:58:16,036 --> 00:58:17,365 There you are. 781 00:58:17,705 --> 00:58:20,030 Happy Gilmore, cone on down! 782 00:58:20,290 --> 00:58:22,366 Thank you, Shooter. Sit down. 783 00:58:23,126 --> 00:58:26,958 So you got in a fight with a game show host on nationaI TV. 784 00:58:27,214 --> 00:58:28,874 That is not entertainnent. 785 00:58:29,132 --> 00:58:32,382 This is not hockey, no natter how nuch you want it to be. 786 00:58:32,635 --> 00:58:34,794 I know that and I知 sorry. 787 00:58:35,138 --> 00:58:37,130 But there was a guy out there... 788 00:58:37,390 --> 00:58:40,557 ...giving ne crap. It took all I had not to hit hin. 789 00:58:40,810 --> 00:58:44,475 So you head-butt Bob Barker? Who won that fight, anyway? 790 00:58:44,814 --> 00:58:45,809 Enough, Shooter. 791 00:58:46,065 --> 00:58:48,223 The board has done the foIIowing: 792 00:58:48,484 --> 00:58:51,320 Fined you $25,000 and suspended you for one nonth. 793 00:58:51,571 --> 00:58:54,655 -What?! I got to play! -What?! Kick hin off the Tour. 794 00:58:55,158 --> 00:58:57,993 The board thinks that night be extrene... 795 00:58:58,244 --> 00:59:01,578 ...considering the fact that our ratings were... 796 00:59:02,081 --> 00:59:03,741 ...the highest we've ever had. 797 00:59:04,000 --> 00:59:06,669 My grandmother's house got repossessed. 798 00:59:07,003 --> 00:59:10,834 If I don't win more prize money, they'II seII it to someone else. 799 00:59:11,173 --> 00:59:13,498 Whoop-dee-doo. Get out. 800 00:59:18,847 --> 00:59:23,343 It's over. My grandmother will never see her house again. 801 00:59:23,602 --> 00:59:27,931 But you've nade a Iot of money. You could buy her a nice condo. 802 00:59:28,106 --> 00:59:31,938 My grandfather didn't buiId any condos with his bare hands. 803 00:59:32,360 --> 00:59:34,768 Dann it, I hate that Bob Barker. 804 00:59:35,029 --> 00:59:38,196 There nust be another way to get the $50,000. 805 00:59:38,449 --> 00:59:42,282 I don't want to taIk about it. I falled, okay? 806 00:59:42,538 --> 00:59:46,037 Let ne just enjoy the one thing that makes ne a bit happy... 807 00:59:46,291 --> 00:59:48,960 ...this fresh, deIicious, tasty... 808 00:59:49,211 --> 00:59:51,452 ...neaty, turkey-fiIIed... 809 00:59:51,713 --> 00:59:56,540 ...CoId Cut Conbo. I eat three every day just to keep ne strong. 810 00:59:56,801 --> 00:59:58,129 Hey, Happy... 811 00:59:58,386 --> 01:00:00,046 ...can I have one of those? 812 01:00:00,388 --> 01:00:02,048 Coning right up! 813 01:00:07,561 --> 01:00:09,887 TaIk about a hoIe in one. 814 01:00:10,231 --> 01:00:13,397 Subway sandwiches will drive away your hunger. 815 01:00:14,485 --> 01:00:15,480 What do you think? 816 01:00:15,652 --> 01:00:18,986 I Love it. He Looks so handsone. And it makes ne hungry. 817 01:00:19,239 --> 01:00:22,904 They gave ne a card that gives us free Subway for Life. 818 01:00:23,160 --> 01:00:24,322 That's LoveIy. 819 01:00:24,578 --> 01:00:26,570 You know what else is LoveIy? 820 01:00:26,830 --> 01:00:30,163 That connerciaI puts us up to $275,000. 821 01:00:30,417 --> 01:00:32,575 Let's go get your house back. 822 01:00:42,346 --> 01:00:44,006 What the hell? 823 01:00:49,185 --> 01:00:50,514 What's going on here? 824 01:00:50,770 --> 01:00:54,602 It's exciting. We're auctioning off your grandmother's house. 825 01:00:54,858 --> 01:00:58,191 You said if we got the money, we could buy it back. 826 01:00:58,444 --> 01:00:59,773 You can buy it back. 827 01:01:00,488 --> 01:01:03,026 Bidding will start at $100,000. Do I hear 100? 828 01:01:03,282 --> 01:01:05,607 This is the exciting part. Have fun. 829 01:01:06,952 --> 01:01:10,617 Look at all these people. What's going on, Happy? 830 01:01:10,956 --> 01:01:12,285 Thank you, two. 831 01:01:12,625 --> 01:01:14,284 They're auctioning it off. 832 01:01:14,543 --> 01:01:17,378 Good. We'II get it cheaper than we thought. 833 01:01:17,629 --> 01:01:19,622 Two fifty, thank you. 834 01:01:20,299 --> 01:01:22,457 Maybe not. Two seventy-five! 835 01:01:22,717 --> 01:01:24,959 Two seventy-five. And three. 836 01:01:25,303 --> 01:01:26,633 Three fifty down front. 837 01:01:26,973 --> 01:01:30,306 I have three fifty. Seventy-five anywhere? 838 01:01:30,643 --> 01:01:34,142 Three fifty--soId to the gentleman in the white sweater. 839 01:01:34,480 --> 01:01:36,057 What just happened, Happy? 840 01:01:37,733 --> 01:01:39,560 Go wait in the car, Grandma. 841 01:01:41,403 --> 01:01:43,479 What the hell is wrong with you? 842 01:01:43,739 --> 01:01:45,814 I enjoy real estate speculation. 843 01:01:47,242 --> 01:01:51,239 You touch ne, I burn the house down and piss on the ashes. 844 01:01:51,579 --> 01:01:53,157 What do you want for it? 845 01:01:53,748 --> 01:01:54,744 You know what. 846 01:01:55,166 --> 01:01:57,159 You off the Tour. 847 01:01:57,418 --> 01:01:59,909 Quit, and the house is yours. 848 01:02:00,171 --> 01:02:01,250 Fine. I quit. 849 01:02:01,506 --> 01:02:03,498 No way. Happy, come here. 850 01:02:03,758 --> 01:02:07,589 He's right. I don't belong in golf. I'm a hockey player. 851 01:02:07,845 --> 01:02:10,252 -What team do you play for? -Easy. 852 01:02:10,514 --> 01:02:13,431 Face it, Happy. You are a golfer. 853 01:02:14,268 --> 01:02:18,765 I did this to get Grandma's house back. Now I can. No regrets. 854 01:02:19,190 --> 01:02:24,184 What do you think she wants more--to get her house back or see you succeed? 855 01:02:26,364 --> 01:02:30,029 Maybe she can have both. Hey, Shooter. 856 01:02:30,701 --> 01:02:32,943 The Tour Chanpionship is next week. 857 01:02:33,704 --> 01:02:37,369 If I beat you, I get the house. You beat ne, I'II quit. 858 01:02:37,624 --> 01:02:40,542 You're going to beat ne? At golf? 859 01:02:42,629 --> 01:02:43,957 You're on. 860 01:02:44,548 --> 01:02:48,130 But you're in trouble. I eat pieces of shit Like you for breakfast. 861 01:02:48,385 --> 01:02:50,626 You eat pieces of shit for breakfast? 862 01:02:52,555 --> 01:02:53,718 No. 863 01:02:58,561 --> 01:03:01,728 That was great. I know you will kick his ass. 864 01:03:02,064 --> 01:03:03,724 That makes one of us. 865 01:03:03,983 --> 01:03:06,734 Take care of Grandma. I'II waIk fron here. 866 01:03:06,986 --> 01:03:10,070 -Where are you going? -To Iearn to play golf. 867 01:03:12,742 --> 01:03:15,233 I知 stupid, you're snart. 868 01:03:15,745 --> 01:03:17,903 I was wrong, you were right. 869 01:03:18,414 --> 01:03:20,905 You're the best, I知 the worst. 870 01:03:21,250 --> 01:03:25,082 You're very good-Looking, I知 not attractive. 871 01:03:25,338 --> 01:03:29,003 Okay, as Long as you're willing to adnit that. Now... 872 01:03:29,258 --> 01:03:33,090 ...are you ready to work and do what I teII you? 873 01:03:33,429 --> 01:03:35,006 BeIieve ne, I知 ready. 874 01:03:36,098 --> 01:03:37,758 Then Iet's get to work. 875 01:03:39,685 --> 01:03:42,175 I知 sorry. Here. 876 01:03:43,271 --> 01:03:44,765 Here's your pinky. 877 01:03:52,447 --> 01:03:54,274 ''HappyIand'', just Like ne. 878 01:03:54,532 --> 01:03:56,857 Don't get excited. I've been here before. 879 01:03:59,453 --> 01:04:03,618 This is enbarrassing. I知 a professionaI golfer, for God's sake. 880 01:04:03,875 --> 01:04:07,707 No, it's your short game that's enbarrassing. Let's go. 881 01:04:22,977 --> 01:04:26,310 Just Iine up the putt. Don't even Look at the hoIe. 882 01:04:26,647 --> 01:04:31,143 Ain for a spot six inches in front of the hoIe. Line up with that. 883 01:04:31,485 --> 01:04:33,478 Okay. Six inches. 884 01:04:56,510 --> 01:04:58,502 This one's very tough. 885 01:05:03,350 --> 01:05:05,177 He's Iaughing, having fun. 886 01:05:05,435 --> 01:05:07,760 Yeah, Iaugh it up. Enjoy your night. 887 01:05:08,688 --> 01:05:10,515 Happy, concentrate. 888 01:05:17,530 --> 01:05:19,190 I hate that cIown. 889 01:05:19,448 --> 01:05:24,110 Easy. If you can't beat the cIown, how will you beat Shooter McGavin? 890 01:05:32,628 --> 01:05:34,288 You're gonna die, cIown! 891 01:05:36,214 --> 01:05:39,215 Is that funny? I don't hear you Iaughing now! 892 01:05:39,551 --> 01:05:40,714 Enough. 893 01:05:40,969 --> 01:05:42,547 What? I can't do it! 894 01:05:43,054 --> 01:05:46,221 Cone with ne, Happy. Cone on! 895 01:05:46,558 --> 01:05:48,635 You suck, you stupid cIown! 896 01:05:50,896 --> 01:05:52,723 Remember, this isn't hockey. 897 01:05:53,065 --> 01:05:57,228 You don't play with raw enotion. You can't putt angry. 898 01:05:57,569 --> 01:06:01,401 You nust cIear your nind of everything else and stay focused. 899 01:06:06,244 --> 01:06:08,071 How can I do that? 900 01:06:08,413 --> 01:06:11,579 Think of a place that's really perfect. 901 01:06:11,916 --> 01:06:14,075 Your own happy place. 902 01:06:14,419 --> 01:06:17,585 Go there and all your anger will disappear. 903 01:06:17,922 --> 01:06:19,250 Then putt. 904 01:06:20,091 --> 01:06:21,419 Happy place. 905 01:06:21,759 --> 01:06:23,586 Happy place. 906 01:06:23,928 --> 01:06:25,754 Your happy place. 907 01:06:55,709 --> 01:06:56,705 Now how do you feeI? 908 01:06:56,960 --> 01:06:57,956 Better. 909 01:06:58,629 --> 01:06:59,624 Now putt. 910 01:07:22,318 --> 01:07:23,646 Your happy place. 911 01:07:30,576 --> 01:07:33,150 We took sone giant steps tonight. 912 01:07:33,997 --> 01:07:35,657 I知 really proud of you. 913 01:07:36,165 --> 01:07:37,328 Here. 914 01:07:38,334 --> 01:07:40,659 I got something special for you. 915 01:07:41,003 --> 01:07:41,999 Thanks, Chubbs. 916 01:07:42,254 --> 01:07:47,000 It's the putter I used when I played-- sIightIy nodified, of course. 917 01:07:47,343 --> 01:07:49,834 Man, this is excellent. 918 01:07:51,013 --> 01:07:55,924 You got the spirit of a hockey player in you, so I figured--why fight it? 919 01:07:56,184 --> 01:07:58,510 I got something for you, too. 920 01:07:59,020 --> 01:08:02,187 If not for you, none of this would have happened... 921 01:08:02,440 --> 01:08:04,766 ...so I wanted to show ny appreciation. 922 01:08:08,696 --> 01:08:10,689 This Looks nice. What is it? 923 01:08:10,949 --> 01:08:11,944 Open it. 924 01:08:12,200 --> 01:08:13,195 Shit. 925 01:08:13,868 --> 01:08:14,947 Oh, nan. 926 01:08:15,203 --> 01:08:17,279 Remember the 'gator that got your hand? 927 01:08:17,538 --> 01:08:19,198 I got his head. 928 01:08:31,719 --> 01:08:34,389 First ny dad and now Chubbs. 929 01:08:34,722 --> 01:08:38,221 Anyone I get cIose to, dies. If I were you, I'd run. 930 01:08:38,559 --> 01:08:41,050 You can't bIane yourseIf for this. 931 01:08:41,395 --> 01:08:44,562 I guess that alligator finally finished the job. 932 01:08:45,065 --> 01:08:46,643 I知 going to niss you, paI. 933 01:08:55,409 --> 01:08:57,069 How an I going to play today? 934 01:08:57,327 --> 01:08:59,070 Just remember what he taught you. 935 01:08:59,329 --> 01:09:03,327 CongratuIations, nurderer. You kiIIed a golf Iegend. 936 01:09:03,583 --> 01:09:04,662 Beat it, McGavin. 937 01:09:04,918 --> 01:09:09,414 I知 dedicating ny perfornance at the Tour Chanpionship to Chubbs' nenory. 938 01:09:09,756 --> 01:09:11,748 I知 playing for Chubbs. 939 01:09:12,008 --> 01:09:13,585 I called it first. 940 01:09:14,010 --> 01:09:17,344 You want to beat hin? Beat hin on the course. 941 01:09:17,598 --> 01:09:20,267 Yeah, I知 gonna beat your ass out there. 942 01:09:20,517 --> 01:09:22,759 Right. And GrizzIy Adans had a beard. 943 01:09:23,019 --> 01:09:24,763 GrizzIy Adans did have a beard. 944 01:09:28,149 --> 01:09:29,941 The golfers of the Tour Chanpionship... 945 01:09:30,276 --> 01:09:33,692 ...are ready to begin. There nay be 63 professionaIs... 946 01:09:33,946 --> 01:09:35,489 ...vying for the titIe of world's best... 947 01:09:35,531 --> 01:09:38,947 but in the ninds of the spectators, there are onIy two. 948 01:09:39,201 --> 01:09:41,194 Tour kingpin Shooter McGavin... 949 01:09:41,454 --> 01:09:44,787 ...and bad boy Happy Gilmore, just off suspension. 950 01:09:45,040 --> 01:09:48,041 Wouldn't you know it? They've been paired together. 951 01:09:48,293 --> 01:09:51,958 I have sone good interior design ideas for Grandma's house. 952 01:09:52,214 --> 01:09:54,621 You know the bedroon next to the stairs? 953 01:09:54,883 --> 01:09:56,211 Yeah, that was ny roon. 954 01:09:56,468 --> 01:09:59,041 I知 turning it into ny trophy roon. 955 01:10:11,900 --> 01:10:13,644 It just nay not be big enough. 956 01:10:14,987 --> 01:10:16,149 ALL right. 957 01:10:30,335 --> 01:10:34,249 You know what's pathetic? You've been playing golf all your Life. 958 01:10:39,010 --> 01:10:41,417 Let ne show you how we do it in the pros. 959 01:10:48,769 --> 01:10:50,097 That's got to hurt. 960 01:10:58,361 --> 01:11:02,027 Happy Iearned how to putt. Uh-oh. 961 01:11:03,951 --> 01:11:05,576 Here's a free Iesson. 962 01:11:11,917 --> 01:11:13,910 Can't Iearn that on a hockey rink. 963 01:11:25,305 --> 01:11:27,796 Sonebody's cLoser. 964 01:11:29,934 --> 01:11:32,769 After one day, Shooter McGavin is Leading. 965 01:11:32,979 --> 01:11:36,145 But the big surprise is young Happy Gilmore... 966 01:11:36,816 --> 01:11:40,149 ...nipping at his heeIs, tralling by onIy one stroke. 967 01:11:41,779 --> 01:11:43,107 Shooter fron the sand. 968 01:11:43,322 --> 01:11:45,991 Playing Like he really wants that jacket. 969 01:11:51,997 --> 01:11:54,785 Happy Gilmore answers back with a birdie. 970 01:12:08,514 --> 01:12:11,349 Happy with a Long eagIe opportunity. 971 01:12:13,352 --> 01:12:14,680 It's good! 972 01:12:15,354 --> 01:12:17,346 And Shooter can't beIieve it! 973 01:12:17,689 --> 01:12:20,690 He is now tied with Happy Gilmore! 974 01:12:23,862 --> 01:12:26,862 Uh-oh. A IittIe too nuch zip on that one. 975 01:12:28,366 --> 01:12:31,367 Hold it, hold it, hold it. 976 01:12:31,702 --> 01:12:33,031 No! 977 01:12:36,874 --> 01:12:40,872 I didn't see that. Did it go in? I wasn't watching. 978 01:12:41,212 --> 01:12:45,709 I wasn't watching. I saw it go up. Did it go back in? 979 01:12:46,217 --> 01:12:49,337 At the end of day three, Happy Gilmore has the Iead. 980 01:12:49,679 --> 01:12:53,890 One has to be inpressed with the vast inprovenent in his short game. 981 01:13:13,410 --> 01:13:15,070 DonaId, it's Shooter. 982 01:13:15,412 --> 01:13:18,081 Shooter! It's great to hear fron you! 983 01:13:18,373 --> 01:13:20,579 Want to go to SizzIer and get sone grub? 984 01:13:21,042 --> 01:13:22,536 No, thanks. Not hungry. 985 01:13:22,752 --> 01:13:27,248 This call is about business. I need you here in the morning. 986 01:13:27,590 --> 01:13:29,832 It's the finaI day of the Tour Chanpionship... 987 01:13:29,884 --> 01:13:32,090 ...and it promises to be a cIassic. 988 01:13:32,553 --> 01:13:34,593 Happy Gilmore Ieads the pack. 989 01:13:34,889 --> 01:13:39,101 Is this a changing of the guard? We'II know in 18 hoIes. 990 01:13:45,608 --> 01:13:48,443 Happy is really on today. 991 01:14:01,290 --> 01:14:02,405 There he is. 992 01:14:02,958 --> 01:14:04,287 That worn. 993 01:14:04,793 --> 01:14:06,453 Happy, Look out! 994 01:14:12,592 --> 01:14:13,588 Are you okay? 995 01:14:13,802 --> 01:14:15,462 VoIkswagen. 996 01:14:15,762 --> 01:14:17,422 Jackass! 997 01:14:33,322 --> 01:14:34,650 Jackass! 998 01:14:35,282 --> 01:14:39,326 You have no serious injuries. Just keep off your feet for a few days. 999 01:14:39,619 --> 01:14:41,327 Forget it. I have to finish. 1000 01:14:41,621 --> 01:14:44,456 Do what you Like. What do I know? I知 just a doctor. 1001 01:14:44,666 --> 01:14:46,160 -Are you okay? -I知 fine. 1002 01:14:46,459 --> 01:14:49,626 There is no shane in throwing in the toweI. 1003 01:14:49,837 --> 01:14:51,996 You nust be carefuI with your heaIth. 1004 01:14:52,298 --> 01:14:54,172 Let's just play sone golf. 1005 01:14:54,967 --> 01:14:56,627 I knew Happy Gilmore was tough... 1006 01:14:56,844 --> 01:15:00,509 ...but I can't beIieve he's playing after being hit by a car. 1007 01:15:00,848 --> 01:15:03,173 Let's hope it doesn't affect his game. 1008 01:15:07,146 --> 01:15:10,645 That's the first time he's falled to outdrive McGavin. 1009 01:15:10,857 --> 01:15:14,522 Well, well, well. Happy Gilmore is hunan after all. 1010 01:15:15,529 --> 01:15:19,858 Happy Gilmore is in trouble if he can't hit the Long ball. 1011 01:15:20,200 --> 01:15:21,528 If he has a chance... 1012 01:15:21,826 --> 01:15:25,030 ...of winning today, he nust do it on the green. 1013 01:15:30,711 --> 01:15:35,372 He has to focus now. He has to save this one for par. 1014 01:15:38,552 --> 01:15:41,339 That bogey drops hin out of the Iead. 1015 01:15:41,721 --> 01:15:44,556 If he wants to stay in this thing... 1016 01:15:44,849 --> 01:15:46,343 ...he has to caIn down. 1017 01:15:53,232 --> 01:15:57,064 Don't worry about your Grandma. She can Live with ne--be ny naid. 1018 01:16:03,534 --> 01:16:05,526 Look at the cabbage he's in now. 1019 01:16:05,744 --> 01:16:09,409 Things just keep getting worse for Happy Gilmore. 1020 01:16:12,084 --> 01:16:14,575 Just remember what Chubbs said. 1021 01:16:14,921 --> 01:16:16,913 ''Go to a happy place.'' 1022 01:16:17,256 --> 01:16:19,581 ''Go to a happy place.'' 1023 01:16:57,294 --> 01:16:58,623 God! 1024 01:17:11,309 --> 01:17:13,882 This Looks Like the end for Happy Gilmore. 1025 01:17:13,936 --> 01:17:16,308 Shooter now has a connanding Iead. 1026 01:17:35,999 --> 01:17:37,659 Happy, Look who's here. 1027 01:17:38,001 --> 01:17:39,329 Grandma. 1028 01:17:40,170 --> 01:17:42,839 Happy, you Look upset. What's wrong? 1029 01:17:43,173 --> 01:17:45,960 I stink. I知 not going to win. 1030 01:17:46,175 --> 01:17:50,837 Don't worry, sweetheart. The house isn't important. It's just a house. 1031 01:17:51,138 --> 01:17:53,511 Stop fraternizing with the help, Gilmore. 1032 01:17:53,808 --> 01:17:56,808 Just hit your ball, if you can find it. 1033 01:17:57,353 --> 01:17:58,515 Hi, Grandma. 1034 01:17:59,522 --> 01:18:04,018 Forget hin. I just want you to be happy, darling. 1035 01:18:06,654 --> 01:18:07,983 ALL right, Grandma. 1036 01:18:14,537 --> 01:18:17,372 Grandma wants ne to be happy. 1037 01:18:38,727 --> 01:18:42,060 Chin up, Happy. Don't feeI bad about ne. 1038 01:18:42,397 --> 01:18:44,223 I got ny hand back, see? 1039 01:18:46,567 --> 01:18:49,237 We've onIy just begun 1040 01:18:51,406 --> 01:18:54,076 To Live 1041 01:18:55,911 --> 01:18:58,911 White Iace and promises 1042 01:19:01,082 --> 01:19:05,080 A kiss for Luck and we're on our way 1043 01:19:14,595 --> 01:19:19,257 It ain't over yet, McGavin. The way I see it, we've onIy just begun. 1044 01:19:46,919 --> 01:19:50,085 Happy, the Gold jacket's yours. Shooter will choke. 1045 01:19:55,552 --> 01:19:56,548 Unbelievable! 1046 01:20:08,815 --> 01:20:12,978 Dann you people! This is golf, not a rock concert! 1047 01:20:19,825 --> 01:20:20,988 Putz! 1048 01:20:40,346 --> 01:20:41,674 Happy... 1049 01:20:42,181 --> 01:20:43,841 ...ruIes! 1050 01:20:57,529 --> 01:21:00,150 Happy Gilmore has charged in the back nine... 1051 01:21:00,240 --> 01:21:02,528 ...and is now even with Shooter McGavin. 1052 01:21:02,867 --> 01:21:06,201 If Shooter doesn't get out of the funk he's in... 1053 01:21:06,537 --> 01:21:08,862 ...he nay niss out on the Gold jacket. 1054 01:21:09,207 --> 01:21:13,500 Ladies and gentIenen, the 18th hoIe is a par three, 160 yards. 1055 01:21:13,711 --> 01:21:16,546 In the event of a tie, there will be a play-off. 1056 01:21:16,839 --> 01:21:19,330 Mr. Gilmore, you have the honors. 1057 01:21:20,551 --> 01:21:22,876 No natter what, I知 having fun. 1058 01:21:23,220 --> 01:21:25,545 You're starting to sound Like a golfer. 1059 01:21:25,847 --> 01:21:27,674 I know. Keep it down. 1060 01:21:47,703 --> 01:21:51,368 Nice shot! Fifteen feet short of the hoIe. 1061 01:22:03,259 --> 01:22:05,252 Shooter's ball is in the woods. 1062 01:22:05,553 --> 01:22:09,253 Happy's on the 18th green, where a car driven by a crazed fan... 1063 01:22:09,557 --> 01:22:11,217 ...ranned the TV tower. 1064 01:22:14,103 --> 01:22:16,558 Let ne through-- I知 Looking for ny ball. 1065 01:22:16,772 --> 01:22:20,771 This is golf, okay? Excuse ne. Thank you. 1066 01:22:26,616 --> 01:22:27,778 Is this your ball? 1067 01:22:28,618 --> 01:22:30,242 Yes, it is. 1068 01:22:30,453 --> 01:22:32,280 It struck ny foot. 1069 01:22:32,622 --> 01:22:33,950 Doug! 1070 01:22:35,291 --> 01:22:36,785 Do I get a drop? 1071 01:22:37,960 --> 01:22:40,118 The ruIe says, ''Play it as it Iies.'' 1072 01:23:03,776 --> 01:23:05,484 That's two so far, Shooter. 1073 01:23:05,820 --> 01:23:07,978 You can count. Good for you. 1074 01:23:08,281 --> 01:23:12,493 And you can count on ne waiting for you in the parking Iot. 1075 01:23:26,340 --> 01:23:27,669 You're still away. 1076 01:23:28,009 --> 01:23:30,001 I知 aware of that. Thank you. 1077 01:23:31,137 --> 01:23:32,132 I can't see. 1078 01:23:32,346 --> 01:23:33,461 Hey, up here. 1079 01:23:47,027 --> 01:23:49,518 Shooter needs this to put pressure on Happy. 1080 01:23:49,821 --> 01:23:52,359 If he nisses, Happy can two-putt to victory. 1081 01:24:03,209 --> 01:24:05,001 Choke on that, baby! 1082 01:24:14,888 --> 01:24:16,050 Shooter. 1083 01:24:24,897 --> 01:24:28,895 If Gilmore sinks this, it will cap an amazing coneback. 1084 01:24:46,585 --> 01:24:49,420 Great. Now I have a tower bIocking ny ball. 1085 01:24:49,713 --> 01:24:53,212 We'II get it noved and you'II finish tomorrow. Right, Doug? 1086 01:24:53,425 --> 01:24:57,091 No, he has to hit it now. ''Play it as it Iies.'' 1087 01:24:57,429 --> 01:25:01,925 I hit it off Frankenstein's fat foot. Those are the ruIes. 1088 01:25:02,267 --> 01:25:05,054 He's right. Take your shot, Mr. Gilmore. 1089 01:25:06,271 --> 01:25:10,103 Virginia, just so you know, ny jacket size is 44 Long. 1090 01:25:10,400 --> 01:25:13,734 And ny right arn is a bit Longer than ny Ieft. 1091 01:25:14,279 --> 01:25:18,775 Hit it around the tower, sink your putt and we'II go to sudden death. 1092 01:25:26,123 --> 01:25:28,116 Nah, I'II just beat hin now. 1093 01:25:29,752 --> 01:25:30,748 Good Luck. 1094 01:25:36,133 --> 01:25:38,624 Chubbs, I know you'II help ne here. 1095 01:26:14,170 --> 01:26:16,329 Oh, ny God. 1096 01:26:17,173 --> 01:26:21,005 IncredibIe! Happy Gilmore wins the Gold jacket. 1097 01:26:24,180 --> 01:26:26,505 I Love you. I Love you. 1098 01:26:26,849 --> 01:26:28,509 And I Love you. 1099 01:26:29,185 --> 01:26:31,510 Doug! It's inpossibIe! 1100 01:26:31,854 --> 01:26:34,689 That's ny jacket! It's nine! 1101 01:26:35,524 --> 01:26:37,351 He stoIe ny jacket! 1102 01:26:38,026 --> 01:26:40,185 I beIieve that's Mr. Gilmore's. 1103 01:27:02,217 --> 01:27:04,542 I will get you, Shooter! 1104 01:27:06,054 --> 01:27:07,714 Stop! Stop! 1105 01:27:08,890 --> 01:27:10,384 Be still! 1106 01:27:10,725 --> 01:27:11,840 Don't!!! 1107 01:27:24,906 --> 01:27:26,234 -Coning? -You bet. 1108 01:27:26,574 --> 01:27:27,902 ALL right. 1109 01:27:41,422 --> 01:27:44,092 Here's to Chubbs, wherever he is. 1110 01:27:47,595 --> 01:27:49,089 Hey, Happy. 1111 01:27:51,766 --> 01:27:53,260 Nice jacket. 1112 01:27:56,103 --> 01:27:58,261 Who are you waving at, Happy? 1113 01:27:59,940 --> 01:28:02,609 Nobody, Grandma. Let's go hone. 1114 01:28:03,305 --> 01:28:09,498 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org