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Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
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A girl will never forget
the first boy she likes.
3
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Even if things don't quite work out.
4
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Why did you do that?
5
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Because you smell like dog poo.
6
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You're so stupid, just like dog poo.
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You're made out of poo!
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But usually someone is there
to offer words of wisdom.
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Made...
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...of...
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...dog...
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...poo.
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Honey...
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...do you know why that little boy
did those things and said those things?
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It's because he likes you.
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And there it is.
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That's the beginning of our problem.
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That little boy is doing those terrible things
because he's got a crush on you.
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Do you know
what this means?
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We're all encouraged...
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... no, programmed...
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... to believe that if a guy
acts like a total jerk...
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... that means he likes you.
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Here's the problem:
He likes you too much.
25
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You're too pretty and too awesome.
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- Yes.
- He can't handle it.
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That Phi Delt so obviously liked you.
28
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I'm sure he just lost your number.
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He's not asking you out because he's
intimidated by your professional success.
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Trust me. It's because he's just
getting out of a serious relationship.
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Trust me. It's because he's never had
a serious relationship.
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Why do we say this stuff
to each other?
33
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Is it possible that it's because
we're too scared...
34
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... and it's too hard to say
the one obvious truth...
35
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... that's staring everyone in the face?
36
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So Janine says
you're a real-estate agent.
37
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Yeah, but I'm not
one of those cheesy ones...
38
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...that puts my headshots on bus benches
and grocery carts.
39
00:03:05,401 --> 00:03:07,733
So just, like, Frisbees and notepads?
40
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Basically.
41
00:03:09,105 --> 00:03:11,005
- It's much classier.
- My thoughts exactly.
42
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Wonder why Janine never thought
to introduce us before.
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I don't know. I don't know.
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- Hey, guys. Want another round?
- You want one more?
45
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Only if you do. I mean,
if you need to get going, I totally...
46
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Uh...
47
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Okay, well...
48
00:03:35,732 --> 00:03:37,359
Sure. One more. Ketel and soda?
49
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And a beer, please.
50
00:03:40,003 --> 00:03:41,868
Be right back.
51
00:03:42,839 --> 00:03:46,866
Well, Conor, I had a really nice time.
- It was really nice meeting you.
52
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- Bye.
- See you.
53
00:03:57,720 --> 00:03:58,744
Hey, it's me.
54
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He's cute, and I think it went well.
55
00:04:01,524 --> 00:04:06,086
And I think he might be leaving me
a message at home as we speak.
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Hey, it's me. Just wanted to let you know
I was thinking about you.
57
00:04:10,900 --> 00:04:13,425
Oh, that's very sweet of you,
Conor. Thanks.
58
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Listen, I was wondering if you
wanted to grab a late bite.
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Tonight? I...
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00:04:19,475 --> 00:04:23,536
No, I was supposed to meet friends
but I'm burnt out. Don't be mad at me.
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No, of course, I'm not mad.
Well, I'll be up for a while.
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- Do you wanna go ahead of me?
- I'll be up.
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- Oh, can you hold on?
- Okay.
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No, that's fine.
You just have one thing, so...
65
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No, technically I have six...
66
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...and I'm mulling over a gum purchase,
so I think you should go.
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Okay.
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Let me call you right back.
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All right. Okay.
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- Hi.
- Hey.
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Just that and that, please.
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Thank you.
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Oh, my word.
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Seriously? That's not possible.
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I just deposited cash three days ago,
so it's just not possible.
76
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Oh, it's not that.
Let me check something.
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Congratulations, you won.
78
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What?
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00:05:07,790 --> 00:05:11,851
Our Funky Fall promotion.
You're our 1000th customer this month.
80
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What?
81
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Are you kidding me?
82
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I don't do kidding.
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Oh, my God.
I can't believe this, it's so exciting.
84
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Oh, my God.
I never won anything before.
85
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This is the most exciting thing
that ever happened to me. Is that sad?
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Yea-- No.
I don't think so.
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- Really?
- Yes.
88
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Thank you! Come here.
89
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Wow.
90
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...as the Terps move
to mid-ice, trying to...
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- Hey.
- Hey.
92
00:05:51,868 --> 00:05:54,837
- How was the date?
- It was fine. Whatever.
93
00:05:55,004 --> 00:05:56,972
- Why are you here?
- My cable's out.
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Come on, Spiewak,
it's not the Ice Capades.
95
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You didn't hear the phone ring
by any chance, did you?
96
00:06:03,579 --> 00:06:05,911
- No, I didn't.
- Shit.
97
00:06:06,082 --> 00:06:08,778
Anna gave me the old,
"I'll call you right back."
98
00:06:08,951 --> 00:06:11,010
Oh, shit, yeah? Well, how long ago?
99
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That was 22 minutes ago.
100
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Do I call back?
101
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Should you call back? No, absolutely not.
102
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I'm gonna call back
and say I'm going to bed.
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What? No. It's 9:30.
You're gonna--?
104
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No, it's a great idea.
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I'll call and say, "In case you were
gonna call me back, don't...
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...because I'll be sleeping."
A genius idea.
107
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Okay, no,
that's brilliant.
108
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When you wake up you can say, "I'm awake
now, I'm available to take your call."
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Oh, gosh. A second.
110
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- Sorry about that.
- It's all right.
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I was--
112
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Wait, what was I saying again?
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You don't wanna be like your mother,
wake up one morning...
114
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...and realize
you never pursued your dreams.
115
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Is that what I was saying?
116
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- You want some gum?
- No, thank you.
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God, that's kind of heavy
for a grocery chat.
118
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- No, that's okay.
- Isn't it?
119
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- Sorry.
- I actually might be able to help.
120
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Yeah, I know a guy at my office
who deals exclusively with music clients.
121
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- Are you kidding?
- Uh-uh.
122
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Oh, my God.
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- Are you my savior or something?
- No.
124
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- Can you hold this for a second?
- Yeah.
125
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Oh, this is so unexpected.
126
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Okay...
127
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I don't...
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I'm married.
129
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I don't do this.
130
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You don't do what?
You don't help struggling singers?
131
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Not hot yoga-instructing singers...
132
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...who are incredibly charming.
133
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Hm.
134
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Well, you could--
You could give me your card.
135
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That's legit, right? Is that allowed?
136
00:08:05,134 --> 00:08:06,226
I could do that.
137
00:08:06,402 --> 00:08:08,165
- Yeah.
- That'd be okay, right?
138
00:08:08,337 --> 00:08:09,998
Yeah.
139
00:08:12,408 --> 00:08:13,739
Great, thank you so much.
140
00:08:13,910 --> 00:08:15,639
Course. Do you need help to your car?
141
00:08:15,811 --> 00:08:18,075
- Where'd you park?
- No, I'm fine. It's okay.
142
00:08:19,582 --> 00:08:21,482
- It was very nice to meet you.
- Yeah.
143
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Okay.
144
00:08:35,164 --> 00:08:36,426
Who was that?
145
00:08:37,200 --> 00:08:41,796
- Oh, that was a prospective client.
- Oh.
146
00:08:42,538 --> 00:08:44,096
Okay.
147
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I can talk to a woman.
It doesn't have to be like that.
148
00:08:48,477 --> 00:08:50,377
No. Absolutely not.
149
00:08:51,581 --> 00:08:53,811
- Just drive.
- Relax.
150
00:09:12,335 --> 00:09:14,735
- Hi.
- Hi.
151
00:09:14,904 --> 00:09:17,065
- How you doing?
- Good.
152
00:09:17,240 --> 00:09:20,209
- Yeah?
- Yeah. I just got off the phone.
153
00:09:20,376 --> 00:09:22,401
- Yeah?
- Yeah, with my little sister.
154
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- How's she doing?
- She's getting married.
155
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Really?
156
00:09:27,583 --> 00:09:28,982
Yeah.
157
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Great.
158
00:09:30,453 --> 00:09:31,852
You really think that's great?
159
00:09:32,021 --> 00:09:33,613
Yeah.
160
00:09:33,789 --> 00:09:35,916
Devon seems like...
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00:09:36,092 --> 00:09:37,821
...a great guy.
162
00:09:40,396 --> 00:09:43,695
Well, so you think it's great
that they're getting married...
163
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...but you don't ever feel like
we're going against nature, or something...
164
00:09:49,472 --> 00:09:51,804
...by not getting married?
165
00:09:53,409 --> 00:09:54,501
No.
166
00:09:55,111 --> 00:09:59,946
Going against nature
is like the cat who suckled that monkey.
167
00:10:00,116 --> 00:10:04,382
You and I are just two people
who happen not to be married.
168
00:10:04,787 --> 00:10:08,120
Let me tell you something. People
who get married are not to be trusted.
169
00:10:08,291 --> 00:10:10,486
You are so weird.
170
00:10:10,660 --> 00:10:11,888
They're not. You know why?
171
00:10:12,061 --> 00:10:14,791
Because if you are so legitimately happy,
honestly...
172
00:10:14,964 --> 00:10:17,660
...you wouldn't feel the need
to make a big show out of it.
173
00:10:17,833 --> 00:10:19,528
You wouldn't have to broadcast it.
174
00:10:19,702 --> 00:10:21,465
They do it because they're insecure...
175
00:10:21,637 --> 00:10:24,868
...and they think getting married's
what they're supposed to be doing.
176
00:10:25,041 --> 00:10:27,601
So they're lying to themselves
and to other people.
177
00:10:27,777 --> 00:10:29,108
Seriously.
178
00:10:29,278 --> 00:10:32,645
Think about you and your friends.
Okay?
179
00:10:32,815 --> 00:10:35,010
These women you have
great relationships with...
180
00:10:35,184 --> 00:10:38,051
...you're close to them,
some of them you've known for years.
181
00:10:38,220 --> 00:10:39,653
But you don't feel the need...
182
00:10:39,822 --> 00:10:45,260
...to write a $45 check to the state
of Maryland for a friendship certificate.
183
00:10:45,428 --> 00:10:47,089
- Yeah. No, I get that.
- Right?
184
00:10:47,263 --> 00:10:50,323
Why should it be any different,
you know, with me and you?
185
00:10:50,499 --> 00:10:54,094
We're very happy, I love you,
I'm committed to you...
186
00:10:54,270 --> 00:10:56,500
...we have a great life, you know?
187
00:10:56,672 --> 00:10:57,696
Yes, you're right.
188
00:10:57,873 --> 00:11:00,967
Why can't we just be happy?
189
00:11:01,143 --> 00:11:02,804
You're right.
190
00:11:02,978 --> 00:11:05,572
- I'm gonna get you some more tea.
- Okay.
191
00:11:13,656 --> 00:11:15,817
Please enter your pass--
192
00:11:15,991 --> 00:11:17,515
You have no messages.
193
00:11:17,693 --> 00:11:19,593
Main menu.
To send a message--
194
00:11:22,631 --> 00:11:25,623
Okay, so clearly he hasn't called.
195
00:11:25,801 --> 00:11:27,598
Maybe he's away on business.
196
00:11:27,770 --> 00:11:30,796
He sells real estate. In Baltimore.
197
00:11:30,973 --> 00:11:33,305
- Staying in town is his business.
- Right.
198
00:11:33,476 --> 00:11:35,205
Well, look, let me tell you.
199
00:11:35,378 --> 00:11:39,144
After I went out with Ben for the first
time, he didn't call me for 11 days.
200
00:11:39,315 --> 00:11:41,840
Eleven days. And now
he's the world's best husband.
201
00:11:42,017 --> 00:11:43,211
That happens all the time.
202
00:11:43,386 --> 00:11:44,614
- Really?
- Really.
203
00:11:45,087 --> 00:11:46,918
You want coffee?
204
00:11:47,089 --> 00:11:49,557
- I got you 2 percent.
- Thanks.
205
00:11:54,096 --> 00:11:55,654
This is all your fault.
206
00:11:55,831 --> 00:11:57,662
What? Why?
207
00:11:57,833 --> 00:11:59,357
You set us up.
208
00:11:59,535 --> 00:12:05,371
No. You asked me if I know any guys,
and I gave Conor your phone number.
209
00:12:05,541 --> 00:12:07,168
That's not a setup.
210
00:12:07,343 --> 00:12:10,141
When I do a setup,
I weigh the pros and cons.
211
00:12:10,312 --> 00:12:12,371
I do my due diligence.
212
00:12:12,548 --> 00:12:17,008
All I know about Conor
is that he sold us this house.
213
00:12:20,556 --> 00:12:23,047
Seriously, stop.
214
00:12:23,893 --> 00:12:26,794
He said he always hangs out after work
at the City Supper Club.
215
00:12:26,962 --> 00:12:29,192
Maybe I should do
a little drive-by?
216
00:12:29,999 --> 00:12:31,364
Please don't.
217
00:12:32,368 --> 00:12:33,596
He'll call.
218
00:12:39,175 --> 00:12:41,166
Okay, I have a question:
219
00:12:41,343 --> 00:12:42,935
Why'd they even invent caller ID?
220
00:12:43,112 --> 00:12:45,376
It's, like, who is this service helping?
221
00:12:45,548 --> 00:12:47,413
I mean, for centuries...
222
00:12:48,017 --> 00:12:51,680
Okay, well maybe not centuries,
but for, like, a lot and lot of years...
223
00:12:51,854 --> 00:12:54,914
...people have been answering their phone,
not knowing who it is...
224
00:12:55,090 --> 00:12:57,524
...and as far as I can tell,
no one's died from that.
225
00:12:57,693 --> 00:13:02,392
And it's like if the police wanna know
who placed a call, they could trace it.
226
00:13:02,565 --> 00:13:04,055
I mean, what am I, the police?
227
00:13:04,233 --> 00:13:07,964
This constant obsession with needing
to know who's calling all the time...
228
00:13:08,137 --> 00:13:09,399
...it's, like, so gross.
229
00:13:09,572 --> 00:13:13,201
Like, you pick up the phone,
you find out who it is, then you know.
230
00:13:13,375 --> 00:13:14,842
It's, like...
231
00:13:15,611 --> 00:13:17,476
Look, all I'm saying...
232
00:13:18,414 --> 00:13:22,248
...if a guy doesn't call me,
I would like to reserve the right...
233
00:13:22,418 --> 00:13:25,444
...to call him at 15-minute intervals
until he picks up.
234
00:13:25,621 --> 00:13:27,748
But if he looks down
and sees my numbers...
235
00:13:27,923 --> 00:13:31,222
...he's gonna think
I'm some kind of psycho or something.
236
00:13:31,660 --> 00:13:33,525
Which I'm not.
237
00:13:33,696 --> 00:13:35,391
Obviously.
238
00:13:42,204 --> 00:13:44,035
Hello?
239
00:13:44,206 --> 00:13:45,696
Mom.
240
00:13:45,875 --> 00:13:47,809
I gotta call you back.
241
00:13:50,579 --> 00:13:52,479
Inhale.
Upward-facing dog.
242
00:13:52,648 --> 00:13:55,014
Look up towards the ceiling.
243
00:13:55,184 --> 00:13:57,948
Look up towards the ceiling.
244
00:13:58,420 --> 00:14:00,888
He ordered more drinks for us
when the waitress came.
245
00:14:01,056 --> 00:14:02,990
He remembered exactly what I wanted.
246
00:14:03,158 --> 00:14:05,649
He initiated the hug.
He said it was nice meeting me.
247
00:14:05,828 --> 00:14:09,855
So wait. This was at the end of the date
or the beginning of the date?
248
00:14:10,032 --> 00:14:12,330
End. Why, does it matter?
249
00:14:12,501 --> 00:14:15,834
Yeah. "Nice meeting you" at the beginning
of the date, that's normal.
250
00:14:16,005 --> 00:14:18,269
"Nice meeting you"
at the end of the date...
251
00:14:18,841 --> 00:14:20,331
It could be a blowoff.
252
00:14:20,976 --> 00:14:22,375
Maybe it was at the beginning.
253
00:14:22,545 --> 00:14:25,605
Okay. That's fine. He's gonna call.
254
00:14:25,781 --> 00:14:27,214
Or maybe it was at the end.
255
00:14:27,383 --> 00:14:29,442
Or maybe it was just nice to meet me.
256
00:14:29,618 --> 00:14:31,108
Help.
257
00:14:31,287 --> 00:14:33,551
Hi. This is torture.
258
00:14:33,722 --> 00:14:36,657
How am I supposed to come up
with something pithy and dynamic...
259
00:14:36,825 --> 00:14:38,292
...to say about cinnamon blends?
260
00:14:38,460 --> 00:14:39,927
It's hard to focus on nutmeg...
261
00:14:40,095 --> 00:14:42,529
...when the guy who might be
the guy of my dreams...
262
00:14:42,698 --> 00:14:44,996
...refuses to call me.
263
00:14:45,834 --> 00:14:47,768
After my first date with Neil...
264
00:14:47,937 --> 00:14:48,961
...I called him.
265
00:14:49,772 --> 00:14:51,933
There are no rules anymore.
266
00:14:52,107 --> 00:14:55,702
And, I mean, why should you
have to wait for him to get off his ass?
267
00:15:00,215 --> 00:15:03,309
- It's ringing.
- That's pretty standard.
268
00:15:03,485 --> 00:15:05,350
- Hey, you've reached Conor.
- Yes! Voicemail.
269
00:15:05,521 --> 00:15:08,354
- Leave a message, I'll get back to you.
- Notes.
270
00:15:08,524 --> 00:15:10,355
"Hey, Conor, it's Gigi.
271
00:15:10,526 --> 00:15:12,494
I just thought, I hadn't heard from you...
272
00:15:12,661 --> 00:15:17,894
...and how stupid is it that a gal has
to wait for a guy's call anyway, right?"
273
00:15:19,868 --> 00:15:22,029
What does that say?
What's that say?
274
00:15:23,405 --> 00:15:25,202
Because we're all equal, right?
275
00:15:25,374 --> 00:15:27,239
More than equal.
276
00:15:27,409 --> 00:15:30,242
More women are accepted
into law school now than men.
277
00:15:30,412 --> 00:15:32,846
And, I mean, I don't know
if you saw that Dateline...
278
00:15:33,015 --> 00:15:35,677
...but women practically
have penises now, right? So...
279
00:15:36,785 --> 00:15:37,809
Call me.
280
00:15:37,987 --> 00:15:40,455
Oh, this is Gigi. Call me.
281
00:15:43,025 --> 00:15:46,756
Don't worry, he's totally gonna call.
282
00:16:04,413 --> 00:16:05,812
What?
283
00:16:05,981 --> 00:16:09,280
How can there not be a dial tone?
How can there not be a dial tone?
284
00:16:09,818 --> 00:16:11,877
No dial tone. Come here, dial tone.
285
00:16:12,054 --> 00:16:13,282
Gigi, are you there?
286
00:16:13,455 --> 00:16:14,820
Hello, Gigi?
287
00:16:14,990 --> 00:16:16,423
- Mom, is that you?
- Yes.
288
00:16:16,592 --> 00:16:20,255
- I can't talk now, I'll call you back.
- Wait, I need you to--
289
00:16:27,503 --> 00:16:29,494
Hi, it's Janine. Leave a message.
290
00:16:29,672 --> 00:16:31,071
Hi, Janine, it's me.
291
00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:32,366
Conor never called...
292
00:16:32,541 --> 00:16:37,274
...so I'm on the precipice of staging
a casual run-in at the City Supper Club.
293
00:16:37,446 --> 00:16:39,346
Pick up if you wanna stop me.
294
00:16:40,649 --> 00:16:44,415
All right, I'm interpreting your silence
as tacit compliance. Bye.
295
00:16:48,724 --> 00:16:50,282
- What's up, girl?
- Hey.
296
00:16:50,459 --> 00:16:52,620
- How are you?
- Good.
297
00:16:58,667 --> 00:16:59,759
Knock, knock.
298
00:16:59,935 --> 00:17:01,300
Hey.
299
00:17:02,237 --> 00:17:03,704
So...
300
00:17:04,640 --> 00:17:07,006
...here we are. Same shift again.
301
00:17:08,711 --> 00:17:11,441
I know. I make the schedule. Remember?
302
00:17:11,613 --> 00:17:15,014
Well, I figured it was no coincidence.
303
00:17:19,388 --> 00:17:21,049
I had...
304
00:17:21,890 --> 00:17:23,323
...a good time the other night.
305
00:17:23,792 --> 00:17:24,986
Yeah.
306
00:17:25,160 --> 00:17:27,720
It's amazing where 10 shots
of Patrón will get you.
307
00:17:32,334 --> 00:17:33,494
So I was thinking...
308
00:17:34,103 --> 00:17:36,765
...after work we could...
309
00:17:37,806 --> 00:17:38,830
You know...
310
00:17:40,008 --> 00:17:45,537
Look, Kelli Ann, what happened
between us the other night was fun.
311
00:17:45,714 --> 00:17:46,874
It was definitely fun.
312
00:17:47,049 --> 00:17:49,950
But we're way understaffed tonight.
I even have to man the bar.
313
00:17:50,119 --> 00:17:53,145
So that's why I scheduled you.
314
00:17:53,322 --> 00:17:55,187
To work.
315
00:17:55,357 --> 00:17:56,984
So...
316
00:17:59,361 --> 00:18:01,090
Are we good?
317
00:18:02,531 --> 00:18:04,556
- Nope, we're good.
- Okay.
318
00:18:04,733 --> 00:18:05,961
Hey, oh, Kelli Ann.
319
00:18:06,135 --> 00:18:08,535
Hey, babe, could you get the door?
Thanks.
320
00:18:19,515 --> 00:18:21,881
Hi. Are you joining us
for dinner, or?
321
00:18:22,050 --> 00:18:23,381
I'm meeting someone. A guy.
322
00:18:23,552 --> 00:18:25,019
- Why?
- Hm?
323
00:18:25,187 --> 00:18:27,052
Nothing. Sorry. For dinner?
324
00:18:28,824 --> 00:18:29,848
I'll wait at the bar.
325
00:18:31,393 --> 00:18:32,951
That's a great idea.
326
00:18:41,336 --> 00:18:42,701
What can I get you?
327
00:18:42,871 --> 00:18:44,270
Oh, no, I'm meeting someone.
328
00:18:44,439 --> 00:18:47,135
Oh yeah? What, you got a hot date?
329
00:18:48,110 --> 00:18:49,873
I don't know if you'd call it "hot."
330
00:18:50,045 --> 00:18:52,309
This guy Conor and I
have only been out one time--
331
00:18:52,481 --> 00:18:54,073
Wait, wait, wait. Conor Barry?
332
00:18:54,516 --> 00:18:55,540
Yeah.
333
00:18:55,717 --> 00:18:57,708
Conor's not coming in tonight.
Thanks a lot.
334
00:18:57,886 --> 00:19:00,446
Did he forget he was
supposed to meet you here?
335
00:19:00,622 --> 00:19:04,490
Oh, see, when I said "meeting someone,"
I guess it was kind of a broad term.
336
00:19:04,660 --> 00:19:06,685
A wide interpretation
of the word "meeting."
337
00:19:06,862 --> 00:19:08,921
Right. You know what? I'll call him.
338
00:19:09,097 --> 00:19:12,260
Oh, no. I mean, just totally unnecessary.
339
00:19:14,436 --> 00:19:15,733
Okay.
340
00:19:15,904 --> 00:19:17,701
I just was actually in the area...
341
00:19:17,873 --> 00:19:21,138
...and so I just figured I'd swing by
and see if he was around.
342
00:19:21,310 --> 00:19:25,610
Because I had to return his pen.
343
00:19:26,048 --> 00:19:27,879
Had to return this pen. He left this.
344
00:19:28,050 --> 00:19:33,010
And I just thought I should really return it
before he, you know, freaks out.
345
00:19:33,922 --> 00:19:35,617
Yeah. Okay, I'll get it to him.
346
00:19:36,558 --> 00:19:37,616
Thanks.
347
00:19:39,595 --> 00:19:43,463
"Wilson Ward, DDS,
Adult, Child and Geriatric Dentistry."
348
00:19:44,533 --> 00:19:47,900
Look, I'm not going to judge what may
or may not be important to someone.
349
00:19:48,070 --> 00:19:50,595
Yeah. That's not even
his dentist, though.
350
00:19:50,772 --> 00:19:52,501
Oh, really. Who is?
351
00:19:53,375 --> 00:19:54,967
My dad.
352
00:20:01,083 --> 00:20:02,209
Oh.
353
00:20:05,454 --> 00:20:08,753
I'm Gigi. I went out
with Conor last week.
354
00:20:08,924 --> 00:20:11,324
And I just...
355
00:20:13,095 --> 00:20:15,928
I thought if I just ran into him...
356
00:20:17,799 --> 00:20:19,858
I don't know. I'm gonna go.
357
00:20:20,035 --> 00:20:21,662
Wait.
358
00:20:21,837 --> 00:20:22,861
Wait, just--
359
00:20:23,038 --> 00:20:25,131
Hang out for a second.
Let me buy you a drink.
360
00:20:25,841 --> 00:20:28,867
One drink. Okay?
361
00:20:29,711 --> 00:20:32,976
Give me two seconds, I'll be right back.
362
00:20:34,483 --> 00:20:38,715
Look, you seem like a cool girl,
so I'm just gonna be honest with you.
363
00:20:38,887 --> 00:20:41,185
Conor's never gonna call you.
364
00:20:41,356 --> 00:20:43,950
Oh, really. How do you know?
365
00:20:44,126 --> 00:20:46,651
Because I'm a guy,
and it's just how we do it.
366
00:20:46,828 --> 00:20:48,295
He said it was nice meeting me.
367
00:20:48,463 --> 00:20:50,988
I don't care if he said
you were his favorite female...
368
00:20:51,166 --> 00:20:53,498
...since his mommy
and Joanie Cunningham.
369
00:20:53,669 --> 00:20:56,832
Over a week went by, okay, Gigi?
And he didn't call you.
370
00:20:57,005 --> 00:20:59,633
But maybe he did call
and I didn't get the message.
371
00:20:59,808 --> 00:21:01,207
Or maybe he lost my number...
372
00:21:01,376 --> 00:21:05,403
...or he's out of town,
or got hit by a cab, or his grandma died.
373
00:21:05,580 --> 00:21:08,572
Or he didn't call because
he has no interest in seeing you again.
374
00:21:10,552 --> 00:21:14,181
Yeah. But my friend Terri once went
out with a guy who never called.
375
00:21:14,356 --> 00:21:15,914
She totally wrote him off.
376
00:21:16,091 --> 00:21:17,786
- Over a year goes by.
- Right.
377
00:21:17,960 --> 00:21:19,621
She ran into him,
and it ended up that--
378
00:21:19,795 --> 00:21:22,457
Your friend Terri's an idiot.
She's also the exception...
379
00:21:23,098 --> 00:21:24,622
...by the way.
The rare exception.
380
00:21:24,800 --> 00:21:27,667
Okay. Okay.
But what if I'm the exception?
381
00:21:27,836 --> 00:21:30,600
No, you're not. You're not at all.
In fact, you're the rule.
382
00:21:30,772 --> 00:21:35,175
And the rule is this: If a guy doesn't
call you, he doesn't wanna call you.
383
00:21:35,344 --> 00:21:36,971
- Really?
- Yeah.
384
00:21:37,145 --> 00:21:38,942
- Always?
- Yeah, always.
385
00:21:39,114 --> 00:21:43,141
Look, I know what blowing off
a woman looks like, okay?
386
00:21:43,318 --> 00:21:45,786
I do it early, I do it often.
387
00:21:45,954 --> 00:21:50,414
So trust me when I say if a guy
is treating you like he doesn't give a shit...
388
00:21:50,592 --> 00:21:53,083
...he genuinely
doesn't give a shit.
389
00:21:53,261 --> 00:21:55,126
No exceptions.
390
00:22:05,340 --> 00:22:07,035
Thank you.
391
00:22:08,276 --> 00:22:10,335
Given me a lot to think about.
392
00:22:16,752 --> 00:22:18,686
- Morning, morning.
- Excuse me.
393
00:22:18,854 --> 00:22:20,014
- Hi.
- Hi.
394
00:22:20,188 --> 00:22:21,450
Everything okay?
395
00:22:21,623 --> 00:22:22,749
Oh, I was up all night.
396
00:22:22,924 --> 00:22:24,949
Please say you were working
on the nutmeg copy.
397
00:22:25,127 --> 00:22:28,255
Sure. It's basically done.
I have to tell you something important.
398
00:22:28,430 --> 00:22:30,295
Sweetie?
What's going on with your hair?
399
00:22:30,465 --> 00:22:33,798
Yeah, come here before people
see you have a mini muffin in your hair.
400
00:22:33,969 --> 00:22:35,630
Okay.
401
00:22:35,804 --> 00:22:37,135
So...
402
00:22:39,708 --> 00:22:42,472
Thank you. I think I figured it out.
403
00:22:43,211 --> 00:22:45,771
Remember that notary public
who cheated on me?
404
00:22:45,947 --> 00:22:49,246
Then Anastasia told me her boyfriend
cheated on her at the beginning...
405
00:22:49,418 --> 00:22:52,512
...but then he changed and now
they're married and crazy in love?
406
00:22:53,155 --> 00:22:55,555
- I thought that guy was a process server.
- No, notary.
407
00:22:55,724 --> 00:22:58,659
Anyway, my point is,
Anastasia's the exception, not the rule.
408
00:22:58,827 --> 00:23:00,795
We have to stop listening
to these stories.
409
00:23:00,962 --> 00:23:04,022
The rule is that guys who cheat on you
don't care about you much.
410
00:23:04,900 --> 00:23:08,427
- Okay.
- Okay, so Exhibit A:
411
00:23:08,603 --> 00:23:11,401
Chad, the drummer who lived
in a storage space.
412
00:23:11,573 --> 00:23:15,407
He only used me for rides, and yet
I continued to stalk him for most of 1998.
413
00:23:15,577 --> 00:23:18,102
And then... Oh, there was Don...
414
00:23:18,280 --> 00:23:21,841
...who broke up with me every Friday
so that he could have his weekends free.
415
00:23:22,017 --> 00:23:23,917
I was delusional about that relationship.
416
00:23:24,086 --> 00:23:26,577
I'd refer to him as my husband
to my dental hygienist.
417
00:23:26,755 --> 00:23:29,019
And all of my friends
used to tell me stories...
418
00:23:29,191 --> 00:23:31,819
...about how things might work out
with these dipshits...
419
00:23:31,993 --> 00:23:34,791
...because they knew someone
who dated a dipshit like mine...
420
00:23:34,963 --> 00:23:36,931
...and that girl ended up getting married.
421
00:23:37,099 --> 00:23:40,159
But that's the exception.
We're not the exception, we're the rule.
422
00:23:45,707 --> 00:23:48,972
Okay, let me just see if I understand.
423
00:23:49,411 --> 00:23:50,844
So what you're saying is...
424
00:23:51,012 --> 00:23:54,311
...if I hear a story about a girl
who's been with a guy for 13 years...
425
00:23:54,483 --> 00:23:57,008
...and he finally married her,
that's the exception.
426
00:23:57,185 --> 00:23:58,812
Yes.
427
00:23:58,987 --> 00:24:01,854
But the rule are guys like Neil...
428
00:24:02,657 --> 00:24:05,956
...who are with girls like me...
429
00:24:06,128 --> 00:24:08,653
...for seven years and aren't married...
430
00:24:08,830 --> 00:24:10,388
...they're never getting married.
431
00:24:10,832 --> 00:24:12,231
- No.
- No.
432
00:24:12,400 --> 00:24:13,924
- No, no, no. No, no, no.
- No.
433
00:24:14,102 --> 00:24:17,970
- It's not what she meant in that--
- No, it's got nothing to do with you.
434
00:24:18,140 --> 00:24:20,267
I absolutely was not talking about you.
435
00:24:20,442 --> 00:24:24,378
- These are specific relationship situations.
- I was talking about myself specifically.
436
00:24:24,546 --> 00:24:27,140
Just me specifically,
you know?
437
00:24:31,586 --> 00:24:34,248
This guy is, like, impossible
not to like, you know?
438
00:24:34,422 --> 00:24:37,687
He's flirting with me pretty heavily
outside of the Handy Mart...
439
00:24:37,859 --> 00:24:41,955
...and, you know, everything just kind
of lines up, it's really magical.
440
00:24:42,130 --> 00:24:44,121
And then he tells me that he's married.
441
00:24:44,299 --> 00:24:46,733
Which, of course,
I should be pissed about, right?
442
00:24:46,902 --> 00:24:49,928
But I just can't stop thinking about him.
443
00:24:50,105 --> 00:24:51,299
But he's married.
444
00:24:51,473 --> 00:24:54,909
I know, I realize that.
I don't know what's wrong with me.
445
00:24:55,076 --> 00:24:56,338
What's wrong with me?
446
00:24:57,879 --> 00:24:59,369
Okay.
447
00:24:59,548 --> 00:25:02,312
I know this guy,
he works in my dad's printing business.
448
00:25:02,484 --> 00:25:07,080
And he was married for 15 years
to a nice lady.
449
00:25:07,255 --> 00:25:11,954
And one night he meets this woman
at some church event.
450
00:25:12,127 --> 00:25:16,461
And he tells my dad that he's never
felt anything like it before.
451
00:25:17,132 --> 00:25:19,999
That he had finally met the one.
452
00:25:20,168 --> 00:25:21,931
So he divorced his wife...
453
00:25:22,103 --> 00:25:25,368
...and he's been with this other woman
for 22 years...
454
00:25:25,540 --> 00:25:27,838
...and they're insanely happy.
455
00:25:28,009 --> 00:25:30,603
I mean, what if you meet
the love of your life...
456
00:25:30,779 --> 00:25:32,872
...but you already married someone else?
457
00:25:33,048 --> 00:25:35,175
Are you supposed to
let them pass you by?
458
00:25:37,519 --> 00:25:40,955
You're right. Okay.
459
00:25:41,656 --> 00:25:42,782
I'm gonna call him.
460
00:25:43,592 --> 00:25:45,116
Okay.
461
00:26:00,475 --> 00:26:02,966
- Hello?
- Hey, Ben. This is Anna Marks.
462
00:26:03,144 --> 00:26:05,544
Hey, Anna. What's up?
463
00:26:05,714 --> 00:26:08,808
Nothing, I was just--
I was taking you up on your offer.
464
00:26:08,984 --> 00:26:13,421
I know you said you had a couple
of contacts you thought could help me.
465
00:26:13,588 --> 00:26:18,855
And I thought maybe we could talk
about it over coffee or something like that.
466
00:26:22,030 --> 00:26:24,294
Look, I just...
467
00:26:26,134 --> 00:26:28,102
I can't, Anna.
468
00:26:29,237 --> 00:26:31,762
You seemed great. I just--
I don't know.
469
00:26:31,940 --> 00:26:33,908
I should probably go.
470
00:26:34,075 --> 00:26:35,770
Take care, though. Bye.
471
00:26:43,652 --> 00:26:44,778
- Hey.
- Hey.
472
00:26:44,953 --> 00:26:46,352
- I'm psyched you called.
- Cool.
473
00:26:46,521 --> 00:26:48,955
Kind of given up on you
when you didn't call me back.
474
00:26:49,124 --> 00:26:50,785
I was just thinking about you.
475
00:26:50,959 --> 00:26:52,756
- Want a glass of wine?
- Sure.
476
00:26:52,927 --> 00:26:54,758
Okay, what were the categories again?
477
00:26:54,929 --> 00:26:56,760
Four categories:
478
00:26:56,931 --> 00:27:00,492
Smart, sexy, funny and cute.
479
00:27:00,669 --> 00:27:02,830
But you can only be two things.
480
00:27:03,004 --> 00:27:07,338
Like Sarah Jessica Parker
would be funny and sexy.
481
00:27:07,509 --> 00:27:09,477
Bill Clinton would be smart and sexy.
482
00:27:09,644 --> 00:27:11,475
I can't believe you're hot for Clinton.
483
00:27:11,646 --> 00:27:13,170
Go. What am I?
484
00:27:13,348 --> 00:27:14,508
Wait, what was I again?
485
00:27:14,683 --> 00:27:16,514
You're smart and cute.
486
00:27:16,685 --> 00:27:19,711
Okay, you are sexy, very sexy.
487
00:27:19,888 --> 00:27:21,412
And cute.
488
00:27:22,357 --> 00:27:24,086
No, you can't--
489
00:27:24,259 --> 00:27:26,386
Sexy and cute
are both in the looks column.
490
00:27:26,561 --> 00:27:28,324
Nobody wants to be all in one column.
491
00:27:28,496 --> 00:27:32,455
I sound like a jackass if I say you're all four,
which obviously you are.
492
00:27:32,634 --> 00:27:34,829
Especially sexy.
493
00:27:35,003 --> 00:27:36,834
You're the best.
494
00:27:41,576 --> 00:27:43,567
I better go.
495
00:27:43,945 --> 00:27:47,938
Okay, well, you know
you could stay here if you want.
496
00:27:48,550 --> 00:27:50,381
What? It's been a while.
497
00:27:50,552 --> 00:27:52,281
No, I can't.
498
00:27:52,454 --> 00:27:54,888
I can't stay, I'm totally--
499
00:27:55,056 --> 00:27:56,648
I'm totally, totally fried.
500
00:27:56,825 --> 00:27:58,019
Is that okay?
501
00:27:58,193 --> 00:27:59,626
Yeah.
502
00:28:04,165 --> 00:28:05,757
I'll see you later.
503
00:28:05,934 --> 00:28:07,367
Bye.
504
00:28:17,746 --> 00:28:19,304
Hey.
505
00:28:19,914 --> 00:28:21,438
That look straight to you?
506
00:28:21,616 --> 00:28:23,811
Why are you hanging that?
507
00:28:24,753 --> 00:28:27,847
Because you asked me to
about three weeks ago.
508
00:28:28,022 --> 00:28:30,217
I'm getting around to it.
509
00:28:30,392 --> 00:28:32,417
Why? You don't want it here?
510
00:28:32,594 --> 00:28:34,289
No, I love it there. But just stop.
511
00:28:34,929 --> 00:28:36,920
Why? Is it the painting?
512
00:28:37,098 --> 00:28:42,058
You know, I know, it looks
kind of like a deflated boob here.
513
00:28:42,237 --> 00:28:43,534
Right? I know.
514
00:28:43,705 --> 00:28:46,173
It's gonna be depressing.
Should I take it down?
515
00:28:47,375 --> 00:28:50,208
No, I want you
to stop doing anything nice.
516
00:28:52,647 --> 00:28:54,376
This feels like a trick.
517
00:28:54,549 --> 00:28:56,016
- No.
- No?
518
00:28:56,184 --> 00:29:00,177
No, I just-- I just need you
to stop being nice to me...
519
00:29:00,355 --> 00:29:02,346
...unless you're gonna marry me after.
520
00:29:04,058 --> 00:29:06,049
Is that funny?
521
00:29:06,227 --> 00:29:07,694
Do you think that's funny?
522
00:29:09,230 --> 00:29:11,221
No, I guess it's not funny.
523
00:29:11,399 --> 00:29:13,333
See, you can't keep being nice to me...
524
00:29:13,501 --> 00:29:17,198
...and I can't keep pretending
that this is something that it's not.
525
00:29:17,572 --> 00:29:20,666
We've been together
for over seven years.
526
00:29:20,842 --> 00:29:22,366
You know me, you know who I am.
527
00:29:22,544 --> 00:29:25,377
You either wanna marry me
or you don't.
528
00:29:27,882 --> 00:29:30,248
Or there's the possibility...
529
00:29:30,485 --> 00:29:33,750
...that I mean it when I say
I don't believe in marriage--
530
00:29:33,922 --> 00:29:35,389
Bullshit.
531
00:29:35,557 --> 00:29:36,581
Bullshit.
532
00:29:36,758 --> 00:29:39,090
Come on, it's bullshit for every woman...
533
00:29:39,260 --> 00:29:42,855
...that has been told by some man
that he doesn't believe in marriage...
534
00:29:43,031 --> 00:29:48,492
...and then six months later he's married
to some 24-year-old that he met at a gym.
535
00:29:48,670 --> 00:29:50,570
It's just--
It's bullshit.
536
00:29:50,738 --> 00:29:52,205
Where is this coming from?
537
00:29:52,373 --> 00:29:55,399
From the place I've been hiding
from you for about five years.
538
00:29:55,577 --> 00:29:56,601
Okay.
539
00:29:56,778 --> 00:29:59,372
Five years, because I haven't wanted
to seem demanding.
540
00:29:59,547 --> 00:30:04,143
And I haven't wanted
to seem clingy or psycho.
541
00:30:04,886 --> 00:30:06,444
Or whatever.
542
00:30:06,621 --> 00:30:08,748
So I haven't asked you.
543
00:30:10,058 --> 00:30:11,821
But I...
544
00:30:13,928 --> 00:30:15,725
I have to.
545
00:30:17,198 --> 00:30:19,029
I mean...
546
00:30:21,636 --> 00:30:24,503
...are you ever gonna marry me?
547
00:30:42,724 --> 00:30:45,158
Oh, I can't do this anymore.
548
00:31:02,977 --> 00:31:05,138
I used to think that I had
never been dumped.
549
00:31:05,313 --> 00:31:07,304
Yeah, then we started comparing notes.
550
00:31:07,482 --> 00:31:11,509
Then we realized we've both been dumped
by every man we've ever been with.
551
00:31:11,686 --> 00:31:13,313
- Every one.
- Yeah.
552
00:31:13,488 --> 00:31:16,013
- But they do it so skillfully.
- Mm-hm.
553
00:31:16,190 --> 00:31:19,523
They just so sneaky
that you think it was your idea.
554
00:31:19,694 --> 00:31:21,924
Yeah. You're sitting back
and you're like:
555
00:31:22,096 --> 00:31:25,964
"Oh, yeah. This my idea.
But wait a second, why am I alone?"
556
00:31:26,134 --> 00:31:28,625
"Why am I unhappy?
Why have I gained 20 pounds?"
557
00:31:28,803 --> 00:31:31,203
- They Jedi mind-trick you.
- Yes, they do.
558
00:31:31,372 --> 00:31:32,805
- So they do a soft pass.
- Yeah.
559
00:31:32,974 --> 00:31:35,033
They got little lines they like to tell you.
560
00:31:35,209 --> 00:31:37,074
Like, "I don't wanna stand in your way."
561
00:31:37,245 --> 00:31:40,646
Or, "You're perfect,
it's just I have to work on myself."
562
00:31:40,815 --> 00:31:42,874
Right. "I'm just thinking
of your happiness."
563
00:31:43,051 --> 00:31:45,645
"Oh, I don't deserve you."
That's my favorite one.
564
00:31:45,820 --> 00:31:47,219
You know the other one I like?
565
00:31:47,388 --> 00:31:49,856
"I am so jealous of the guy
who gets to marry you."
566
00:31:50,024 --> 00:31:51,821
- Well, that could have been you.
- Yeah.
567
00:31:51,993 --> 00:31:53,688
That's what I was leaning towards.
568
00:31:53,861 --> 00:31:55,829
Yeah. And the second you hear that...
569
00:31:55,997 --> 00:31:58,989
...run to the store, get yourself some ribs
and some ice cream...
570
00:31:59,167 --> 00:32:00,896
...because you have been dumped.
571
00:32:01,469 --> 00:32:03,494
Hey Anna, it's Ben.
572
00:32:03,671 --> 00:32:06,572
Listen, I know it's been a while
since you called.
573
00:32:06,741 --> 00:32:09,835
It's just--
It took me by surprise.
574
00:32:10,011 --> 00:32:12,411
But I did offer to help you
with your career...
575
00:32:12,580 --> 00:32:14,673
...and I don't see why
I can't do that, right?
576
00:32:14,849 --> 00:32:16,441
So why don't you give me a call...
577
00:32:16,618 --> 00:32:19,143
...and maybe you can
come by the office or something.
578
00:32:19,320 --> 00:32:21,811
Okay? All right, take care. Bye.
579
00:32:21,990 --> 00:32:23,116
Hey, you.
580
00:32:23,291 --> 00:32:25,316
Oh, shit.
581
00:32:25,493 --> 00:32:28,428
- What?
- You scared me.
582
00:32:28,596 --> 00:32:30,427
- You okay?
- Yeah.
583
00:32:30,598 --> 00:32:32,429
Everything's fine.
584
00:32:32,734 --> 00:32:33,996
Are you smoking again?
585
00:32:34,168 --> 00:32:36,227
No, sweetie, I'm not smoking.
586
00:32:36,404 --> 00:32:37,428
Why?
587
00:32:37,605 --> 00:32:39,095
You get jumpy when you smoke.
588
00:32:39,273 --> 00:32:40,865
I'm not smoking, I promise.
589
00:32:41,042 --> 00:32:43,101
No, I was just sitting here...
590
00:32:43,277 --> 00:32:46,940
...trying to picture what this room's
gonna look like when it's finished.
591
00:32:47,115 --> 00:32:48,377
- I like that game.
- You do?
592
00:32:48,549 --> 00:32:49,948
Yeah.
593
00:32:51,052 --> 00:32:53,577
What color did you picture?
594
00:32:53,755 --> 00:32:55,723
That's where I got stuck.
595
00:32:55,890 --> 00:32:57,289
Yeah.
596
00:32:58,426 --> 00:33:00,394
I was thinking...
597
00:33:00,962 --> 00:33:03,692
...maybe yellow.
598
00:33:04,365 --> 00:33:07,266
- Yellow? Okay.
- Yeah. I mean, it's neutral.
599
00:33:07,435 --> 00:33:11,269
- Mm-hm.
- Yeah. So it could be whatever.
600
00:33:11,439 --> 00:33:14,931
It could be an office,
it could be a guest room...
601
00:33:15,109 --> 00:33:17,805
...a gym, a baby's room...
602
00:33:21,683 --> 00:33:24,550
Wait, did you mean "neutral,"
or "gender-neutral"?
603
00:33:24,719 --> 00:33:28,280
- I don't know what you're talking about.
- Oh, really?
604
00:33:30,224 --> 00:33:32,920
I know we said
we'd wait to talk about it.
605
00:33:33,094 --> 00:33:34,823
- Uh-huh.
- Mm-hm.
606
00:33:35,697 --> 00:33:41,431
But I think that we're almost ready
to start talking about it.
607
00:33:57,819 --> 00:34:00,379
So that's the last time
I do anything pro bono.
608
00:34:03,658 --> 00:34:06,650
Well, ladies, I guess
I have to get back to the office.
609
00:34:07,295 --> 00:34:10,492
You go back to the office after happy hour?
What's happy about that?
610
00:34:10,665 --> 00:34:12,223
I met you.
611
00:34:14,535 --> 00:34:17,026
I would love to call you sometime.
Do you have a card?
612
00:34:18,873 --> 00:34:20,033
- Of course.
- Oh, great.
613
00:34:20,208 --> 00:34:23,371
Here is my info.
614
00:34:24,378 --> 00:34:26,471
- Nice to meet you, Janine.
- Nice to meet you.
615
00:34:27,181 --> 00:34:28,876
Look forward to hearing from you, Gigi.
616
00:34:31,085 --> 00:34:32,575
Oh, wait.
617
00:34:34,021 --> 00:34:35,318
So...
618
00:34:35,723 --> 00:34:37,156
...how are we doing this?
619
00:34:37,325 --> 00:34:40,317
Are you hearing from me
or am I getting a call?
620
00:34:40,495 --> 00:34:41,519
What?
621
00:34:42,029 --> 00:34:43,690
You said you'd love to call me...
622
00:34:43,865 --> 00:34:46,766
...but then you said,
"Look forward to hearing from you," and--
623
00:34:46,934 --> 00:34:48,834
You see how that's kind of confusing?
624
00:34:49,003 --> 00:34:51,870
Yeah, look, we'll talk. We'll get in touch.
625
00:34:53,241 --> 00:34:55,368
You did it again. Very vague.
626
00:34:55,543 --> 00:34:58,205
You know what?
Let's just say that you'll call me...
627
00:34:58,379 --> 00:35:00,973
...and then we can skip all the nonsense.
628
00:35:01,149 --> 00:35:03,014
Goodbye, Gigi.
629
00:35:13,094 --> 00:35:16,757
- He was cute.
- Yeah, please don't cyber-stalk him.
630
00:35:19,233 --> 00:35:20,791
What are you doing?
631
00:35:20,968 --> 00:35:22,128
I'm not calling him.
632
00:35:22,303 --> 00:35:24,601
If he wants to see me, he'll call.
633
00:35:24,839 --> 00:35:26,067
Wow.
634
00:35:26,240 --> 00:35:29,266
That guy Alex really
made an impression on you.
635
00:35:29,443 --> 00:35:30,637
Was he hot?
636
00:35:30,812 --> 00:35:33,337
No. He was just...
637
00:35:33,548 --> 00:35:34,708
...right.
638
00:35:36,350 --> 00:35:37,715
Morning.
639
00:35:37,885 --> 00:35:39,477
Morning, Ryan.
640
00:35:39,654 --> 00:35:42,521
A surprise mocha venti
just because you're so awesome.
641
00:35:42,690 --> 00:35:45,124
- Love you.
- Love you.
642
00:35:46,093 --> 00:35:47,390
Good morning.
643
00:35:57,705 --> 00:35:59,798
Okay.
644
00:36:03,477 --> 00:36:04,501
So?
645
00:36:05,546 --> 00:36:06,604
Oh, hi.
646
00:36:12,220 --> 00:36:14,415
- He asked me out.
- Oh, my God. He called?
647
00:36:15,923 --> 00:36:18,118
- Well...
- He e-mailed?
648
00:36:18,292 --> 00:36:19,782
- No.
- What?
649
00:36:19,961 --> 00:36:21,986
Left his calling card
with your lady-in-waiting?
650
00:36:23,664 --> 00:36:26,963
- He MySpaced me.
- Ouch.
651
00:36:27,268 --> 00:36:31,500
- Oh.
- Oh, girl, I don't know about that.
652
00:36:31,672 --> 00:36:35,301
My trampy little sister says
MySpace is the new booty call.
653
00:36:36,244 --> 00:36:38,712
Well, what am I supposed to do?
654
00:36:38,880 --> 00:36:40,507
I mean, things have changed.
655
00:36:40,681 --> 00:36:43,013
People don't meet each other
organically anymore.
656
00:36:43,184 --> 00:36:47,143
If I would like to make myself seem
more attractive to the opposite sex...
657
00:36:47,321 --> 00:36:50,381
...I don't go and get a new haircut,
I update my profile.
658
00:36:50,558 --> 00:36:52,458
That's just the way it is, you know?
659
00:36:53,828 --> 00:36:55,022
Yeah, she's right.
660
00:36:55,196 --> 00:36:57,460
Back, back, back, back.
661
00:36:58,733 --> 00:37:00,530
Ad sales, this is Mary.
662
00:37:00,701 --> 00:37:04,865
Hi, Mary, this is Conor,
Anna's friend, or whatever.
663
00:37:05,039 --> 00:37:06,063
Hi.
664
00:37:06,474 --> 00:37:08,965
So, what'd you think?
665
00:37:09,143 --> 00:37:11,475
Looking at it right now.
I'm not sure about this.
666
00:37:11,646 --> 00:37:12,908
Oh, you have to trust me.
667
00:37:13,080 --> 00:37:15,640
It's a burgeoning market,
you're gonna make a fortune.
668
00:37:15,816 --> 00:37:18,944
I know. Did you have to put me
with the massage ads?
669
00:37:19,120 --> 00:37:22,681
Well, it was either that or the page
with the personals, so...
670
00:37:22,857 --> 00:37:24,722
This page gets a lot of action.
671
00:37:24,892 --> 00:37:26,723
Yeah, I guess you're right.
672
00:37:26,894 --> 00:37:28,555
Hey, have you spoken to Anna lately?
673
00:37:28,729 --> 00:37:30,356
Yeah.
674
00:37:32,266 --> 00:37:33,893
Okay.
675
00:37:35,102 --> 00:37:37,366
All right, Mary,
I'll talk to you soon. Thank you.
676
00:37:37,538 --> 00:37:38,971
Bye.
677
00:37:39,707 --> 00:37:42,835
What I'm trying to show you is
that there's a difference.
678
00:37:43,511 --> 00:37:44,808
There is a difference.
679
00:37:44,979 --> 00:37:48,813
Hey, how did you get Aunt Linda
to sew these dresses in two weeks?
680
00:37:48,983 --> 00:37:50,211
She wanted to do it.
681
00:37:50,384 --> 00:37:53,751
Really? She told me she felt like
an old Indonesian lady in a sweat shop.
682
00:37:53,921 --> 00:37:55,684
- Is that not right?
- No, she didn't.
683
00:37:55,856 --> 00:37:56,948
No?
684
00:37:57,124 --> 00:38:01,356
What's the--?
Why the big rush to get married?
685
00:38:01,529 --> 00:38:05,863
Because I am not having my wedding
during a gross Baltimore winter...
686
00:38:06,033 --> 00:38:07,898
...and I am not waiting till spring.
687
00:38:08,069 --> 00:38:10,060
You are so pregnant.
688
00:38:10,237 --> 00:38:11,761
Oh, God,
I'm not pregnant.
689
00:38:11,939 --> 00:38:13,907
I'm not pregnant. That's ridiculous.
690
00:38:14,075 --> 00:38:16,270
- Chug a beer then.
- No, I'm not chugging a beer.
691
00:38:16,444 --> 00:38:17,468
Chug a beer.
692
00:38:17,645 --> 00:38:19,374
We're in love,
you assholes.
693
00:38:19,547 --> 00:38:23,108
That's what people do
when they're in love, they get married.
694
00:38:25,953 --> 00:38:29,548
But you know what?
Not everybody gets married, you know?
695
00:38:29,724 --> 00:38:33,216
There are many people
who never get married.
696
00:38:33,728 --> 00:38:36,026
Well, thanks
for the inspirational pep talk.
697
00:38:36,197 --> 00:38:40,258
What she meant to say was that it's fine
that you broke up with Neil.
698
00:38:40,434 --> 00:38:41,458
Right.
699
00:38:41,635 --> 00:38:44,399
Tons of people make the choice
to be alone. They're happy.
700
00:38:45,306 --> 00:38:47,001
Look at Al Pacino.
701
00:38:47,174 --> 00:38:50,439
Never been married, happy as a clam.
702
00:38:50,611 --> 00:38:54,240
Would that--? Am I--?
Would I be Al Pacino in this scenario?
703
00:38:54,415 --> 00:38:56,508
No, Bethie, we just--
We want you to be happy.
704
00:38:56,917 --> 00:38:59,977
Well, then you should have
rethought the coral.
705
00:39:00,154 --> 00:39:02,054
Oh, her face.
706
00:39:02,223 --> 00:39:03,656
- Your face.
- Don't make her cry.
707
00:39:03,824 --> 00:39:05,815
I'm sick of these coral jokes.
708
00:39:05,993 --> 00:39:08,928
I know, you're sensitive.
Trust me, I get it.
709
00:39:09,096 --> 00:39:12,691
Hey, why don't you have dinner
with me and Steven and the kids...
710
00:39:12,867 --> 00:39:14,391
...then you can just stay over--?
711
00:39:14,568 --> 00:39:16,934
Why'd she wanna hang out
with you and your husband?
712
00:39:17,104 --> 00:39:18,696
The last thing I'd feel like doing.
713
00:39:18,873 --> 00:39:20,773
If being in this wedding is too painful--
714
00:39:20,941 --> 00:39:24,570
Oh, God, you guys. Please, stop it.
Relax, relax.
715
00:39:25,046 --> 00:39:27,344
That's enough, okay?
Seriously, you guys, I'm f--
716
00:39:27,515 --> 00:39:31,679
I've gone through breakups before.
If you remember, I handle them quite well.
717
00:39:31,852 --> 00:39:36,186
You've been there, you've seen it.
I'm perfectly capable of doing this.
718
00:39:36,357 --> 00:39:37,949
I can do it again.
719
00:39:38,125 --> 00:39:40,320
I want you to stop worrying about me.
720
00:39:40,494 --> 00:39:42,359
I'm fine.
721
00:39:43,230 --> 00:39:45,357
I know it's here
somewhere.
722
00:39:45,533 --> 00:39:50,596
I spoke with George Lane in Music.
He had a whole list of references for you.
723
00:39:51,972 --> 00:39:55,908
Well, that's okay.
You can just call me when you find it.
724
00:39:58,446 --> 00:40:01,711
I swear I didn't lure you here
under false pretenses.
725
00:40:01,882 --> 00:40:03,611
I know.
726
00:40:03,784 --> 00:40:05,149
A girl can dream, though.
727
00:40:07,655 --> 00:40:10,215
You're just too good a guy.
728
00:40:17,998 --> 00:40:19,192
Why are you married again?
729
00:40:21,669 --> 00:40:23,296
Seriously, why?
730
00:40:23,471 --> 00:40:26,167
No, I really think
that it would be good for me to know...
731
00:40:26,340 --> 00:40:29,207
...why you cannot live
without this other woman.
732
00:40:30,644 --> 00:40:35,775
Well, we'd been together since college
and she gave me an ultimatum.
733
00:40:35,950 --> 00:40:39,545
She said, "Either we get married
or we break up."
734
00:40:39,720 --> 00:40:41,085
So we got married.
735
00:40:41,922 --> 00:40:44,220
Wow. You caved.
736
00:40:46,460 --> 00:40:47,586
It's complicated.
737
00:40:48,062 --> 00:40:49,495
Really?
738
00:40:51,031 --> 00:40:55,058
What? You're a dick if you date a girl
for too long and don't marry her.
739
00:40:55,636 --> 00:40:58,730
You marry her and you're an asshole
for marrying before you're ready.
740
00:40:58,906 --> 00:41:02,342
I mean, shit, I don't know.
741
00:41:15,656 --> 00:41:17,385
You're really hot.
742
00:41:18,259 --> 00:41:21,092
And I am obviously attracted to you.
743
00:41:23,364 --> 00:41:25,696
So I think the best I can do is...
744
00:41:26,667 --> 00:41:30,433
...eventually find this piece of paper
and call you...
745
00:41:31,105 --> 00:41:34,734
...and hope to just help you out in
your career in some small way.
746
00:41:45,753 --> 00:41:46,777
Hi.
747
00:41:46,954 --> 00:41:49,081
Hi. What's going on?
748
00:41:57,965 --> 00:41:59,660
Javier.
749
00:42:01,435 --> 00:42:04,996
Javier, I thought we talked
about tarping the furniture.
750
00:42:47,248 --> 00:42:48,272
City Supper.
751
00:42:48,449 --> 00:42:50,314
Hi, this is Gigi. Is Alex there?
752
00:42:50,484 --> 00:42:51,951
Hold on.
753
00:42:52,119 --> 00:42:53,916
- Alex?
- Yo.
754
00:42:54,088 --> 00:42:56,022
- Drinks are good?
- Yeah, one more.
755
00:42:56,190 --> 00:42:58,181
- Hello?
- Hi, this is Gigi.
756
00:42:58,359 --> 00:43:00,190
- Gigi?
- Gigi Phillips.
757
00:43:00,361 --> 00:43:02,989
- Huh?
- I, um...
758
00:43:03,163 --> 00:43:04,653
...had the dentist pen.
759
00:43:04,832 --> 00:43:06,993
Right. Hey. How you doing?
760
00:43:07,167 --> 00:43:09,965
- I'm really sorry to bug you.
- That's okay.
761
00:43:10,137 --> 00:43:13,334
You had some really good insights
and I wanted to ask you a question.
762
00:43:13,507 --> 00:43:15,998
Okay, look, now I need
to be harsh with you.
763
00:43:16,176 --> 00:43:18,701
Conor's never gonna be
interested in you, Geege.
764
00:43:18,879 --> 00:43:21,905
No, I know. This is about Jarrad.
765
00:43:22,082 --> 00:43:23,174
Jarrad.
766
00:43:23,350 --> 00:43:26,251
So we meet at happy hour
and he's completely charming--
767
00:43:26,420 --> 00:43:30,356
Hey, give me two seconds, okay?
Two seconds, hold on.
768
00:43:40,634 --> 00:43:41,658
Let me guess.
He said:
769
00:43:41,835 --> 00:43:44,269
"The only thing happy
about this hour is you."
770
00:43:45,806 --> 00:43:48,297
He might have used
some derivative of that.
771
00:43:51,178 --> 00:43:55,137
So he says he's going to call, but then
he gives me his card and he says--
772
00:43:55,316 --> 00:43:56,806
Oh, he's not interested.
773
00:43:56,984 --> 00:43:59,782
- You don't even know if he's called.
- Oh, did he?
774
00:44:00,387 --> 00:44:01,411
No.
775
00:44:01,955 --> 00:44:04,947
- But I honestly think he's expect--
- Okay.
776
00:44:05,125 --> 00:44:09,425
Gigi, he is not interested.
777
00:44:10,831 --> 00:44:12,025
Alex, this is jacked.
778
00:44:12,199 --> 00:44:14,963
The hostess is giving me shit
for not wearing a black shirt.
779
00:44:15,135 --> 00:44:16,534
- It's not black.
- Look at it.
780
00:44:16,704 --> 00:44:19,673
Not a black shirt. I see it. It's not black.
781
00:44:19,840 --> 00:44:21,501
This shit is black.
782
00:44:24,778 --> 00:44:28,612
If a guy gives you his phone number
instead of taking yours, he's not interested.
783
00:44:28,782 --> 00:44:30,374
He took mine first. Then he gave--
784
00:44:30,551 --> 00:44:34,009
And also, if a guy wants to see you,
believe me, he will see you.
785
00:44:36,123 --> 00:44:39,991
I once called 55 Lauren Bells
until I got the right one.
786
00:44:40,661 --> 00:44:41,855
That's cute.
787
00:44:42,029 --> 00:44:43,087
What happened?
788
00:44:43,263 --> 00:44:46,721
Oh, yeah, as it turns out,
her ass looked really huge in the daylight.
789
00:44:48,569 --> 00:44:51,504
Is it your sensitivity that makes you
so popular with women?
790
00:44:51,839 --> 00:44:54,171
Don't call him. He doesn't like you.
791
00:44:54,641 --> 00:44:56,336
Don't tiptoe around my feelings.
792
00:44:56,510 --> 00:44:59,138
- Well, I'm just trying to help.
- I know. Thank you.
793
00:44:59,313 --> 00:45:00,746
Sure.
794
00:45:00,914 --> 00:45:03,678
I gotta get back to work, but good luck.
795
00:45:03,851 --> 00:45:05,648
Okay, bye.
796
00:45:10,057 --> 00:45:11,285
Hey, buddy, you home?
797
00:45:11,458 --> 00:45:13,688
Yeah. Come on in.
798
00:45:17,030 --> 00:45:18,793
Hey, you want a beer?
799
00:45:20,434 --> 00:45:22,595
Or an apple martini?
800
00:45:22,770 --> 00:45:24,101
Oh, that's funny.
801
00:45:26,039 --> 00:45:27,802
Have you told your parents?
802
00:45:27,975 --> 00:45:30,500
It's for work.
I'm trying to expand my client base.
803
00:45:30,677 --> 00:45:32,474
By pretending to be gay?
804
00:45:32,646 --> 00:45:35,342
No, by being
more gay-friendly.
805
00:45:35,516 --> 00:45:37,575
Or, in real estate terms,
"gay-adjacent."
806
00:45:37,751 --> 00:45:39,343
Nice. I'm gonna use that.
807
00:45:39,520 --> 00:45:41,954
I should change this.
It's maybe a little much.
808
00:45:42,122 --> 00:45:45,683
I don't know. Dressing like that,
seeing a girl who won't sleep with you...
809
00:45:45,859 --> 00:45:47,326
...I think you can pull it off.
810
00:45:47,494 --> 00:45:49,689
It's not that she won't sleep with me,
douche bag.
811
00:45:49,863 --> 00:45:52,331
I have slept with her.
It's just she, you know...
812
00:45:53,367 --> 00:45:55,358
Won't sleep with you anymore.
813
00:45:55,869 --> 00:45:57,769
Pretty much, yeah.
814
00:45:58,338 --> 00:45:59,896
What do you think?
815
00:46:00,073 --> 00:46:01,438
I think you got a problem...
816
00:46:01,608 --> 00:46:05,669
...because you're gonna have to beat them
away with a stick, you gorgeous, sexy man.
817
00:46:05,846 --> 00:46:07,108
Holy shit.
818
00:46:07,614 --> 00:46:09,809
Observe your breath.
819
00:46:10,551 --> 00:46:13,384
Inhale, belly rise.
820
00:46:15,088 --> 00:46:18,683
And exhale, belly fall.
821
00:46:20,027 --> 00:46:22,689
Bring your hands together
in front of your chest.
822
00:46:23,464 --> 00:46:26,024
Bow your head in gratitude.
823
00:46:30,304 --> 00:46:33,102
- Namaste.
- Namaste.
824
00:46:33,273 --> 00:46:35,366
Thank you for coming.
See you next week.
825
00:46:39,313 --> 00:46:40,803
Great class.
826
00:46:52,793 --> 00:46:54,727
We ran into each other.
827
00:46:55,762 --> 00:46:57,059
You came to my class.
828
00:46:57,965 --> 00:46:59,557
I had no idea this was your class.
829
00:47:01,101 --> 00:47:03,569
You called to ask me
if this was my class.
830
00:47:03,737 --> 00:47:05,102
No, you never called back.
831
00:47:05,272 --> 00:47:08,207
Because you told me not to call you
if it was my class. It was.
832
00:47:08,375 --> 00:47:10,673
- No. We just ran into each other.
- Okay.
833
00:47:10,844 --> 00:47:15,474
We're just two innocent folks who happen
to be working out near each other.
834
00:47:15,649 --> 00:47:17,617
Exactly.
835
00:47:19,686 --> 00:47:20,948
Do you want a swim?
836
00:47:22,122 --> 00:47:23,146
Sure.
837
00:47:29,663 --> 00:47:31,597
You know, I was just thinking...
838
00:47:33,300 --> 00:47:34,631
...why can't we be friends?
839
00:47:35,402 --> 00:47:38,428
I mean, am I not allowed
to have friends anymore?
840
00:47:38,872 --> 00:47:42,706
I mean, am I not allowed to be friends
with people that are hot?
841
00:47:42,876 --> 00:47:45,572
I mean, what kind of
reverse prejudice is that?
842
00:47:45,746 --> 00:47:46,940
I hear you.
843
00:47:47,114 --> 00:47:48,604
I mean...
844
00:47:48,782 --> 00:47:52,183
...am I not supposed to be friends
with a guy just because he's married?
845
00:47:52,352 --> 00:47:53,376
Right.
846
00:47:53,554 --> 00:47:55,454
Or has an insane smile?
847
00:47:55,622 --> 00:47:57,988
Or an ass that makes me
wanna dry hump?
848
00:48:03,297 --> 00:48:06,630
- Did you just say "dry hump"?
- Yeah.
849
00:48:10,270 --> 00:48:11,635
Think I just fell in love.
850
00:48:18,245 --> 00:48:20,008
So we're friends.
851
00:48:20,881 --> 00:48:22,143
Yeah.
852
00:48:57,484 --> 00:48:58,849
You wanna come in?
853
00:49:02,723 --> 00:49:04,418
I'm sorry, I don't trust myself.
854
00:49:05,058 --> 00:49:07,856
That's okay. You can just watch.
855
00:49:10,430 --> 00:49:13,399
You know, you may be
the best friend I've ever had.
856
00:49:24,778 --> 00:49:27,178
- Hi.
- Hey.
857
00:49:33,020 --> 00:49:35,887
- Take a shower. Hey.
- What? Hi.
858
00:49:36,056 --> 00:49:38,047
- Honey?
- Yeah.
859
00:49:39,860 --> 00:49:41,725
You smell weird.
860
00:49:41,895 --> 00:49:43,988
- I smell weird?
- Yeah, different.
861
00:49:44,164 --> 00:49:47,395
- Different how?
- I don't know.
862
00:49:49,169 --> 00:49:50,659
Sort of an odd thing to say.
863
00:49:50,837 --> 00:49:54,136
You know, maybe it was the ashtray
and cigarettes I found.
864
00:49:54,307 --> 00:49:56,241
In the back yard.
865
00:49:56,943 --> 00:50:00,401
What part of
"My dad died of lung cancer"...
866
00:50:00,580 --> 00:50:03,572
...is so hard for you
to wrap your brain around?
867
00:50:03,750 --> 00:50:04,774
What?
868
00:50:04,951 --> 00:50:08,443
Do not lie to me, Ben. Please, okay?
869
00:50:12,793 --> 00:50:14,761
Are you serious?
870
00:50:18,098 --> 00:50:23,468
We have, like, 8000 undocumented
workers here daily.
871
00:50:23,637 --> 00:50:28,301
Okay, and you find an ashtray
with cigarettes in it and you think--
872
00:50:28,475 --> 00:50:31,535
You automatically assume
that they're mine.
873
00:50:31,712 --> 00:50:33,270
Oh, yeah.
874
00:50:33,447 --> 00:50:35,540
Honey, I'm not lying to you.
875
00:50:40,587 --> 00:50:42,282
I think...
876
00:50:43,056 --> 00:50:45,286
...you are really freaking out.
877
00:50:45,659 --> 00:50:49,459
This whole renovation thing's getting
to you because nothing's happening.
878
00:50:55,235 --> 00:50:57,100
Just say no.
879
00:50:57,270 --> 00:50:58,498
Get it out.
880
00:50:58,672 --> 00:50:59,832
Gonna take a shower.
881
00:51:00,407 --> 00:51:02,739
- I'm exhausted.
- Okay.
882
00:51:06,246 --> 00:51:09,545
- Sorry.
- It's all right.
883
00:51:19,326 --> 00:51:21,590
Who'd have thought that a random girl
from yoga...
884
00:51:21,762 --> 00:51:25,664
...would fix me up with such a good kisser?
- Back at you, sister.
885
00:51:29,236 --> 00:51:30,863
I can't wait to kiss you again.
886
00:51:31,505 --> 00:51:33,097
But we're kissing right now.
887
00:51:33,273 --> 00:51:34,433
I know, next time.
888
00:51:34,608 --> 00:51:37,304
The second-date kiss
is way more intimate.
889
00:51:39,246 --> 00:51:40,474
Well, listen...
890
00:51:40,647 --> 00:51:44,139
...I'm leaving tomorrow,
so I'll be out of touch for a little bit.
891
00:51:46,653 --> 00:51:49,520
Can you excuse me a quick second?
Too many Diet Cokes.
892
00:51:49,990 --> 00:51:51,150
Okay.
893
00:52:09,476 --> 00:52:10,534
Oh, yeah.
894
00:52:10,710 --> 00:52:11,768
Yeah?
895
00:52:11,945 --> 00:52:14,709
Hey, sorry to bug you again.
Quick question.
896
00:52:14,881 --> 00:52:17,179
Excuse me one minute, babe. Sorry.
897
00:52:17,350 --> 00:52:19,284
What's going on?
898
00:52:19,452 --> 00:52:22,478
Okay, I'm making out with this guy--
PG stuff.
899
00:52:22,656 --> 00:52:26,092
And he mentions that he's going
out of town, he's gonna be out of touch.
900
00:52:26,259 --> 00:52:27,385
Run.
901
00:52:28,161 --> 00:52:30,152
But maybe he is going out of town.
902
00:52:30,330 --> 00:52:32,924
Where? Where's he going
that he's gonna be out of touch?
903
00:52:35,602 --> 00:52:37,467
Where are you going
out of town to again?
904
00:52:37,637 --> 00:52:39,901
Um-- Uh--
Pittsburgh.
905
00:52:41,441 --> 00:52:42,601
Pittsburgh.
906
00:52:42,776 --> 00:52:43,902
Run.
907
00:52:44,077 --> 00:52:47,513
So, what, now I'm just supposed to run
from every guy who doesn't like me?
908
00:52:48,114 --> 00:52:49,775
Yeah.
909
00:52:50,650 --> 00:52:53,278
There's not gonna be anybody left.
910
00:52:54,354 --> 00:52:56,584
I don't know why I'm saying this...
911
00:52:56,756 --> 00:52:59,589
...but I think I know a nice guy
who might actually like you.
912
00:52:59,759 --> 00:53:01,454
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
913
00:53:01,628 --> 00:53:03,721
He's friends with my brother.
His name's Bill.
914
00:53:03,897 --> 00:53:06,422
We'll all meet for drinks and it'll be good.
915
00:53:06,600 --> 00:53:10,627
So, I mean, I'm in his bathroom
right now.
916
00:53:10,804 --> 00:53:11,828
What do I do?
917
00:53:12,005 --> 00:53:16,135
Well, you gotta come out eventually, right?
But I'd take my time in there.
918
00:53:16,576 --> 00:53:18,373
I'd let him sweat.
919
00:53:18,545 --> 00:53:20,809
- Thanks.
- Good luck.
920
00:53:50,877 --> 00:53:52,640
Yeah,
the boat looks great.
921
00:53:52,812 --> 00:53:54,336
You look like shit.
922
00:53:54,514 --> 00:53:56,414
But your boat looks great.
923
00:53:56,583 --> 00:54:00,383
Yeah. I live on my boat, man.
924
00:54:00,553 --> 00:54:02,680
Personal hygiene goes out the window.
925
00:54:02,856 --> 00:54:05,120
A lot of time to work on the place.
926
00:54:05,292 --> 00:54:07,123
You should try
working on a shower.
927
00:54:07,294 --> 00:54:08,886
Yeah.
928
00:54:09,229 --> 00:54:12,255
Hey, what can I tell you?
929
00:54:12,432 --> 00:54:16,368
Standing on principle, man. It's all I got.
930
00:54:20,507 --> 00:54:21,997
Cigarette?
931
00:54:22,175 --> 00:54:23,369
No, I'm good.
932
00:54:23,543 --> 00:54:25,875
That's right, you quit.
933
00:54:27,013 --> 00:54:28,503
Good for you.
934
00:54:34,621 --> 00:54:38,751
So did Janine send you out here
to check up on me?
935
00:54:39,392 --> 00:54:41,189
Yeah, pretty much.
936
00:54:41,361 --> 00:54:43,226
What are you gonna tell her?
937
00:54:44,030 --> 00:54:47,227
I'll tell her how gorgeous you look
out here on the ocean.
938
00:54:48,568 --> 00:54:50,559
Break.
939
00:54:50,737 --> 00:54:52,534
Any word from Beth?
940
00:54:54,040 --> 00:54:57,476
She's so busy organizing
her sister's funeral, I think she must be--
941
00:54:57,644 --> 00:54:58,736
Sister's what?
942
00:54:58,912 --> 00:55:00,903
Her wedding. Her sister's wedding.
943
00:55:01,081 --> 00:55:03,709
- Isn't that what I said?
- No. You said "funeral."
944
00:55:03,883 --> 00:55:05,441
- No, I didn't.
- Yes, you did.
945
00:55:05,618 --> 00:55:07,245
Shit, did I really?
946
00:55:07,420 --> 00:55:09,615
That's so weird.
947
00:55:10,056 --> 00:55:12,286
I don't understand
why people wanna get married.
948
00:55:14,361 --> 00:55:15,419
They don't.
949
00:55:15,595 --> 00:55:17,119
- They don't?
- No.
950
00:55:17,664 --> 00:55:20,656
No, no guy actually wants to get married.
951
00:55:20,834 --> 00:55:24,031
And if they do,
all they're really thinking about?
952
00:55:24,204 --> 00:55:26,399
All the women
they're gonna miss out on.
953
00:55:26,573 --> 00:55:28,768
I don't wanna be with anybody else,
just Beth.
954
00:55:30,643 --> 00:55:32,508
I don't know, man, I...
955
00:55:32,679 --> 00:55:34,340
Why'd you get married?
956
00:55:36,583 --> 00:55:38,483
I love Janine.
957
00:55:38,651 --> 00:55:40,278
You're a happily married guy.
958
00:55:41,054 --> 00:55:42,749
Yeah.
959
00:55:42,922 --> 00:55:44,947
Yeah, I'd say so.
960
00:55:51,464 --> 00:55:53,625
Now, I know I don't need
to tell any of you...
961
00:55:53,800 --> 00:55:57,463
...that my cousin Paige is hot.
962
00:55:59,339 --> 00:56:02,570
In high school, if I told the popular guys
that Paige was my cousin...
963
00:56:02,742 --> 00:56:04,801
...it'd keep me
from getting my ass kicked...
964
00:56:04,978 --> 00:56:07,708
...because no one wanted
to blow their chances with her.
965
00:56:09,282 --> 00:56:13,946
And when she gets up there
and says those marriage vows to Devon...
966
00:56:14,120 --> 00:56:16,816
...there will be hearts breaking
all over the world.
967
00:56:16,990 --> 00:56:18,855
- Hear, hear.
- That's sweet.
968
00:56:20,293 --> 00:56:25,663
But, you know, keep in mind
that her sister Beth is still on the market.
969
00:56:26,833 --> 00:56:29,563
Yeah, sure, she may be an older model...
970
00:56:29,736 --> 00:56:32,466
...but she got a lot of good miles
left in that tank.
971
00:56:32,639 --> 00:56:34,368
But don't stay on the lot too long...
972
00:56:34,541 --> 00:56:37,476
...or next year's models are gonna
slip in there and steal all--
973
00:56:37,644 --> 00:56:39,635
Okay, that's enough of the speeches.
974
00:56:39,813 --> 00:56:40,837
Okay.
975
00:56:41,014 --> 00:56:42,914
So enjoy the crab.
976
00:56:43,083 --> 00:56:48,817
And that yellow stuff is not hot mustard,
it's the crab's hepatopancreas.
977
00:56:52,459 --> 00:56:53,721
Bethie.
978
00:56:55,128 --> 00:56:57,961
Your cousin Jay
has always been a jackass.
979
00:56:58,131 --> 00:56:59,155
I know.
980
00:56:59,632 --> 00:57:01,896
And somehow even he's married.
981
00:57:03,436 --> 00:57:05,734
Oh, honey, look.
982
00:57:05,905 --> 00:57:09,363
Back when everyone
was just going to camp at the Y...
983
00:57:09,542 --> 00:57:11,533
...you borrowed my New York Times...
984
00:57:11,711 --> 00:57:14,077
...found some arts camp
in the Berkshires...
985
00:57:14,247 --> 00:57:17,410
...wrote away for information
and got accepted on your own.
986
00:57:17,584 --> 00:57:20,246
You never did things like everyone else.
987
00:57:20,420 --> 00:57:21,717
Why not?
988
00:57:21,888 --> 00:57:23,412
Because that's you.
989
00:57:23,957 --> 00:57:26,790
That's why you're my favorite daughter.
990
00:57:27,393 --> 00:57:29,861
You're not supposed to say that.
991
00:57:30,029 --> 00:57:31,860
I don't give a shit.
992
00:57:32,031 --> 00:57:34,556
I'm retired, I'll say what I want to.
993
00:57:34,734 --> 00:57:36,725
I'll say it to the whole room if you want.
994
00:57:36,903 --> 00:57:39,667
Wait, wait, wait! Come here. Stop.
995
00:57:39,839 --> 00:57:41,704
It's true, though.
996
00:57:59,025 --> 00:58:00,049
Hey.
997
00:58:01,895 --> 00:58:04,159
- What are you doing?
- Waiting for you.
998
00:58:07,901 --> 00:58:09,732
Come on.
999
00:58:14,073 --> 00:58:15,131
Sorry I'm late.
1000
00:58:15,308 --> 00:58:16,639
No, it's okay.
1001
00:58:16,809 --> 00:58:18,743
I like a little time before a blind date.
1002
00:58:18,912 --> 00:58:22,609
Prepare myself mentally, remind myself
not to tell the story about my molars...
1003
00:58:22,782 --> 00:58:24,010
Gigi, he's not coming.
1004
00:58:24,184 --> 00:58:27,381
But you can tell me the story
about the molars. I'd love to hear it.
1005
00:58:27,554 --> 00:58:29,317
Hey.
1006
00:58:29,489 --> 00:58:31,184
How could he already not like me?
1007
00:58:31,357 --> 00:58:34,588
I screwed up. I told Bill it was Thursday,
not Tuesday. It's my fault.
1008
00:58:34,761 --> 00:58:36,160
Hi. Are you good?
1009
00:58:36,329 --> 00:58:38,422
- Can I get a Jameson on the rocks?
- Sure.
1010
00:58:41,201 --> 00:58:44,637
Awesome. I'm stuck with a guy who
can't distinguish Tuesday from Thursday.
1011
00:58:44,804 --> 00:58:48,900
Meanwhile, this girl, she's probably
meeting her soul mate as we speak.
1012
00:58:49,075 --> 00:58:50,542
- This one right here?
- Mm-hm.
1013
00:58:50,710 --> 00:58:52,177
Oh, God, no.
1014
00:58:52,879 --> 00:58:54,574
How do you know?
1015
00:58:55,348 --> 00:58:57,282
The guy working the Tom Cruise thing?
1016
00:58:57,450 --> 00:58:59,782
She's interested, he's clearly not.
1017
00:58:59,953 --> 00:59:02,945
You cannot tell from a cursory glance
that he's not into her.
1018
00:59:03,122 --> 00:59:05,784
Actually, I can.
I see this stuff going on every night.
1019
00:59:05,959 --> 00:59:08,519
Watch this. She's going on
about her macrobiotic diet.
1020
00:59:08,695 --> 00:59:10,959
He's thinking,
"Dear Christ, get me out of here."
1021
00:59:11,130 --> 00:59:12,529
And look, how fortuitous.
1022
00:59:12,699 --> 00:59:15,361
Drinks spill, which is perfect for him,
because now...
1023
00:59:15,535 --> 00:59:17,799
He can move on to the girl
with the shoulder tattoo.
1024
00:59:19,105 --> 00:59:20,902
Man, you have a gift.
1025
00:59:21,074 --> 00:59:23,167
Now check out Droopy Dog
on the other side.
1026
00:59:23,343 --> 00:59:27,370
He's gonna buy her drinks all night and
she's still gonna insist there's no spark.
1027
00:59:27,547 --> 00:59:29,674
Maybe there's not. You need a spark.
1028
00:59:29,849 --> 00:59:32,682
Oh, the spark thing is bullshit.
1029
00:59:32,852 --> 00:59:34,444
- Really?
- Bullshit.
1030
00:59:34,621 --> 00:59:35,952
Enlighten me.
1031
00:59:36,122 --> 00:59:37,783
Guys invented the spark...
1032
00:59:37,957 --> 00:59:41,791
...so they could not call and treat you
kind of badly and keep you guessing...
1033
00:59:41,961 --> 00:59:45,692
...then convince you that that anxiety
and fear that just develops naturally...
1034
00:59:45,865 --> 00:59:47,457
...was actually just a spark.
1035
00:59:47,634 --> 00:59:50,831
And you guys all buy it.
You eat it up and you love it.
1036
00:59:51,004 --> 00:59:54,201
You love it because you feed off
that drama. You all love that drama.
1037
00:59:54,374 --> 00:59:55,398
I don't.
1038
00:59:55,575 --> 00:59:58,908
So you never wait until the last minute
on a deadline or a phone bill...
1039
00:59:59,078 --> 01:00:00,978
...because secretly you love the drama...
1040
01:00:01,147 --> 01:00:03,615
...of not knowing whether or not
you're gonna make it?
1041
01:00:04,550 --> 01:00:05,915
Maybe.
1042
01:00:06,085 --> 01:00:07,677
And let me guess:
1043
01:00:07,854 --> 01:00:10,084
When you were stalking Conor
the other night...
1044
01:00:10,256 --> 01:00:12,417
...were you obsessing
about him calling...
1045
01:00:12,592 --> 01:00:15,823
...constantly pacing back and forth,
staring at your phone for days...
1046
01:00:15,995 --> 01:00:18,486
...even though the date
was just kind of mediocre?
1047
01:00:20,533 --> 01:00:22,501
Okay. Yeah.
1048
01:00:22,669 --> 01:00:25,331
Because you all thrive on the drama.
Thank you.
1049
01:00:25,505 --> 01:00:28,338
Look, you gotta be more like me.
If a girl likes me, great.
1050
01:00:28,508 --> 01:00:31,705
But if not, there are plenty more
out there like her, you know?
1051
01:00:31,878 --> 01:00:33,903
With smaller pores and bigger implants.
1052
01:00:34,380 --> 01:00:36,905
- That's beautiful.
- I know.
1053
01:00:37,083 --> 01:00:40,712
Why are you sharing all of this inside
dating information with me again?
1054
01:00:40,887 --> 01:00:42,718
I don't know, I like you.
1055
01:00:44,023 --> 01:00:45,047
You do?
1056
01:00:47,160 --> 01:00:50,721
Well, yeah. Okay, don't start doodling
my name on your binder, okay?
1057
01:00:50,897 --> 01:00:54,924
I just mean-- I mean, I like you
the way I like basset hounds.
1058
01:00:55,101 --> 01:00:57,899
Something pathetic about them.
You just wanna cheer them up.
1059
01:00:58,071 --> 01:01:00,096
Again with the sensitivity.
1060
01:01:00,707 --> 01:01:02,299
To sensitivity.
1061
01:01:09,653 --> 01:01:11,416
It looks good.
1062
01:01:11,588 --> 01:01:13,021
Yeah.
1063
01:01:13,190 --> 01:01:14,714
Yeah.
1064
01:01:15,592 --> 01:01:18,322
- He does good work.
- Yeah, he does.
1065
01:01:20,397 --> 01:01:22,126
Very nice.
1066
01:01:26,069 --> 01:01:27,832
Very nice.
1067
01:01:30,707 --> 01:01:33,267
- Javier?
- Yeah.
1068
01:01:34,978 --> 01:01:36,411
Javier...
1069
01:01:37,080 --> 01:01:39,844
...if I asked you an honest question...
1070
01:01:40,016 --> 01:01:42,450
...do you think you could
give me an honest answer?
1071
01:01:42,619 --> 01:01:45,588
- I think so.
- Good, good.
1072
01:01:46,122 --> 01:01:50,024
Because I think some of your guys
might be smoking.
1073
01:01:51,061 --> 01:01:52,528
Javier?
1074
01:01:52,696 --> 01:01:54,493
- Is that the question?
- Yes.
1075
01:01:54,664 --> 01:01:57,224
- Seemed like a statement.
- The question part's implied.
1076
01:01:57,400 --> 01:01:59,834
I really didn't hear it in the inflection.
1077
01:02:00,003 --> 01:02:01,334
Javier...
1078
01:02:02,172 --> 01:02:03,867
...have you guys been smoking...
1079
01:02:04,407 --> 01:02:05,806
...or not?
1080
01:02:07,544 --> 01:02:11,207
No, ma'am. My guys, they don't smoke
on the job site. They're good guys.
1081
01:02:11,748 --> 01:02:13,909
Are you sure your guys haven't been...
1082
01:02:14,084 --> 01:02:16,416
...sneaking around here?
1083
01:02:16,586 --> 01:02:17,644
And smoking?
1084
01:02:18,688 --> 01:02:20,815
And lying to me?
1085
01:02:20,991 --> 01:02:22,253
And smoking?
1086
01:02:22,425 --> 01:02:23,483
I'm pretty sure.
1087
01:02:23,660 --> 01:02:26,094
I need you to be honest with me, Javier.
1088
01:02:26,263 --> 01:02:28,629
Because I can't have someone
lying to me.
1089
01:02:28,798 --> 01:02:32,234
To my face, under my roof,
on my time.
1090
01:02:32,836 --> 01:02:34,167
That's a lot of prepositions.
1091
01:02:34,337 --> 01:02:39,001
I mean, there's no reason
for that kind of dishonesty, is there?
1092
01:02:39,175 --> 01:02:42,508
I mean, we made promises to each other.
1093
01:02:43,780 --> 01:02:45,839
I mean, we have a contract.
1094
01:02:46,016 --> 01:02:49,008
That's like making promises. Isn't it?
1095
01:02:51,221 --> 01:02:52,950
Maybe I should get back to work.
1096
01:02:55,392 --> 01:02:57,417
Oh, yeah. Right, yeah.
1097
01:02:57,594 --> 01:02:59,960
That's great, yeah.
1098
01:03:00,130 --> 01:03:02,792
- Javier?
- Yeah.
1099
01:03:03,733 --> 01:03:06,258
We're good. Right? You and me.
1100
01:03:07,103 --> 01:03:09,435
- Oh, yeah, yeah. We're good.
- Oh, good.
1101
01:03:10,006 --> 01:03:11,439
Okay, that's great.
1102
01:03:11,608 --> 01:03:13,633
Yeah, he did great work.
1103
01:03:19,015 --> 01:03:20,448
Hey.
1104
01:03:21,785 --> 01:03:24,583
Welcome, everybody.
Thanks for coming. I'm Conor.
1105
01:03:24,754 --> 01:03:27,279
Sign in when you get a second.
Make yourselves at home.
1106
01:03:27,457 --> 01:03:30,654
We got some cookies over here,
some cold beverages. Help yourself.
1107
01:03:30,827 --> 01:03:33,387
Conor, you are the Liza Minnelli
of real estate.
1108
01:03:33,563 --> 01:03:37,329
- I know. Your friend Mary's a genius.
- I know, she's so great.
1109
01:03:38,501 --> 01:03:41,959
Well, I gotta go,
so I guess I'll see you later.
1110
01:03:42,138 --> 01:03:43,469
What, you got a class, or?
1111
01:03:43,640 --> 01:03:47,007
Yeah. No. No, just something.
1112
01:03:47,177 --> 01:03:49,611
- Stuff I gotta do.
- Okay. Well...
1113
01:03:49,779 --> 01:03:52,748
- I'll see you. Okay. Bye.
- Okay.
1114
01:03:52,916 --> 01:03:55,180
Okay. Bye.
1115
01:03:55,352 --> 01:03:57,252
- See you later.
- All right. Call me.
1116
01:04:01,624 --> 01:04:02,648
What?
1117
01:04:03,927 --> 01:04:06,452
She's holding out on you, isn't she?
1118
01:04:08,298 --> 01:04:10,266
Not quite sure I get your meaning.
1119
01:04:10,433 --> 01:04:12,526
It's obvious she won't sleep with you.
1120
01:04:13,069 --> 01:04:16,095
It's written all over
your puppy-dog face.
1121
01:04:17,674 --> 01:04:20,643
- It's killing me, literally. I'm dying.
- Here, have a cookie.
1122
01:04:20,810 --> 01:04:22,243
No, I'm cool.
1123
01:04:22,412 --> 01:04:25,074
I don't know what she's doing.
I cannot read her signals.
1124
01:04:25,248 --> 01:04:27,113
We used to sleep together all the time.
1125
01:04:30,019 --> 01:04:32,180
That's not true.
I don't know why I said that.
1126
01:04:32,355 --> 01:04:35,847
It wasn't all the time, but it happened.
I know I'm not just making this up.
1127
01:04:36,025 --> 01:04:38,858
And then out of nowhere it just stops.
But she still calls.
1128
01:04:39,028 --> 01:04:42,225
She wants a massage.
She leaves cute messages.
1129
01:04:42,399 --> 01:04:44,890
But it's not going anywhere.
What is she doing?
1130
01:04:45,068 --> 01:04:48,003
Honestly, we may not
have the best insight.
1131
01:04:48,171 --> 01:04:51,140
Gay signals have nothing
to do with straight signals.
1132
01:04:51,307 --> 01:04:54,071
He's right.
The signals are totally different.
1133
01:04:54,244 --> 01:04:57,975
Like, here.
Here's "I wanna sleep with you."
1134
01:04:58,448 --> 01:05:01,576
One, two, three.
1135
01:05:01,751 --> 01:05:04,083
That's it, three seconds or more, it's on.
1136
01:05:04,254 --> 01:05:06,882
And here's
"I don't wanna sleep with you."
1137
01:05:07,056 --> 01:05:08,580
One, two...
1138
01:05:08,758 --> 01:05:11,420
- Nope, thanks for playing, move along.
- It's that simple.
1139
01:05:12,796 --> 01:05:14,696
You're right, that didn't help me at all.
1140
01:05:14,864 --> 01:05:16,729
All right, well,
I can tell you this:
1141
01:05:16,900 --> 01:05:19,892
Gay or straight, you're not gonna
get anywhere by being inactive.
1142
01:05:20,069 --> 01:05:23,368
She likes you. Maybe she just wants you
to be a man and do something.
1143
01:05:26,009 --> 01:05:28,603
Hit me up with an oatmeal raisin,
will you?
1144
01:05:28,778 --> 01:05:31,178
- Thanks.
- Here you go.
1145
01:05:34,617 --> 01:05:36,551
If a girl's into you,
she's sleeping with you.
1146
01:05:37,387 --> 01:05:40,185
If after a month,
or two months at the very outside...
1147
01:05:40,356 --> 01:05:42,415
...she's not sleeping with you?
1148
01:05:43,059 --> 01:05:44,924
She doesn't like you.
1149
01:05:45,395 --> 01:05:47,192
The trick is to spot this girl early.
1150
01:05:47,363 --> 01:05:51,299
Don't wanna waste the one to seven weeks
waiting to find out it's never gonna happen.
1151
01:05:51,468 --> 01:05:55,302
So I've come up with some signs
about how to spot this girl.
1152
01:05:56,506 --> 01:05:58,804
A girl will never sleep with you...
1153
01:05:58,975 --> 01:06:02,035
...if she calls you "cuddly"
or "dependable."
1154
01:06:02,378 --> 01:06:04,369
If she pops a zit in front of you...
1155
01:06:04,914 --> 01:06:08,077
...if her name is Amber or Christine...
1156
01:06:08,485 --> 01:06:10,453
...if she takes a dump in your bathroom...
1157
01:06:10,620 --> 01:06:14,215
...or she takes home leftovers
on dates one, two, or three.
1158
01:06:14,390 --> 01:06:16,858
I know it's not scientific...
1159
01:06:17,026 --> 01:06:19,290
...but I'm just saying,
you were warned.
1160
01:06:41,484 --> 01:06:42,508
Wait, stop.
1161
01:06:45,788 --> 01:06:46,812
What?
1162
01:06:47,524 --> 01:06:49,253
Shit.
1163
01:06:50,059 --> 01:06:51,083
What?
1164
01:06:53,563 --> 01:06:55,121
I am so into you.
1165
01:06:56,099 --> 01:06:58,158
Seriously, I've never felt like this before.
1166
01:06:58,501 --> 01:07:01,993
I have to actively stop my brain
from thinking about you.
1167
01:07:02,505 --> 01:07:04,666
Like, all the time.
1168
01:07:08,211 --> 01:07:09,610
Why stop?
1169
01:07:12,749 --> 01:07:14,774
Because I don't do stuff like this.
1170
01:07:14,951 --> 01:07:16,816
Stuff like what?
1171
01:07:18,721 --> 01:07:20,621
Like sleep with women
that aren't my wife.
1172
01:07:21,291 --> 01:07:25,193
First of all, I am not "women,"
I'm just one.
1173
01:07:25,862 --> 01:07:27,227
And second of all?
1174
01:07:28,932 --> 01:07:30,524
Oh, I didn't have a second of all.
1175
01:07:30,700 --> 01:07:33,498
I was hoping "second of all"
would make me feel better.
1176
01:07:38,174 --> 01:07:40,165
Second of all...
1177
01:07:41,144 --> 01:07:44,204
...I can't stop thinking about you either.
1178
01:07:56,793 --> 01:08:00,058
He's totally leaving his wife for me.
That's crazy.
1179
01:08:00,229 --> 01:08:02,322
That's crazy. We hardly know each other.
1180
01:08:02,498 --> 01:08:04,557
I don't know. I mean, look at Becca.
1181
01:08:04,734 --> 01:08:06,361
You know, my sister's friend.
1182
01:08:06,536 --> 01:08:08,265
One guy waits on her at Bennigan's...
1183
01:08:08,438 --> 01:08:11,737
...and by the end of the meal,
they both knew they had found the one.
1184
01:08:12,809 --> 01:08:16,370
You're right. You're totally right.
I mean, it could happen, right?
1185
01:08:16,846 --> 01:08:18,711
Not for me.
1186
01:08:19,182 --> 01:08:20,581
What about texter?
1187
01:08:20,750 --> 01:08:23,446
Texter has yet to make verbal contact.
1188
01:08:23,620 --> 01:08:27,579
I mean, this guy could've had surgery,
leaving him without a voice box...
1189
01:08:27,757 --> 01:08:29,224
...breathing through a stoma...
1190
01:08:29,392 --> 01:08:32,850
...and I would never know because
I've never actually heard his voice.
1191
01:08:33,029 --> 01:08:34,963
Well, I doubt he has a stoma.
1192
01:08:35,131 --> 01:08:38,191
That's not the point.
I can't text.
1193
01:08:38,368 --> 01:08:40,529
You know, I'm not charming via text.
1194
01:08:40,703 --> 01:08:42,330
Maybe you should
just stop texting.
1195
01:08:42,505 --> 01:08:47,465
But it's not just texting, it's e-mail.
It's voicemail. It's snail mail.
1196
01:08:47,644 --> 01:08:48,736
That's regular mail.
1197
01:08:48,911 --> 01:08:50,640
Whatever. None of it's working.
1198
01:08:50,813 --> 01:08:55,807
I had this guy leave me a voicemail
at work, so I called him at home.
1199
01:08:55,985 --> 01:09:00,422
And then he e-mailed me to my BlackBerry,
and so I texted to his cell.
1200
01:09:00,590 --> 01:09:05,527
Then he e-mailed me to my home account
and the whole thing just got out of control.
1201
01:09:05,695 --> 01:09:10,962
And I miss the days where you had one
phone number and one answering machine.
1202
01:09:11,134 --> 01:09:13,898
And that one answering machine
housed one cassette tape...
1203
01:09:14,070 --> 01:09:17,733
...and that one cassette tape either
had a message from the guy or it didn't.
1204
01:09:17,907 --> 01:09:21,104
And now you have to go around
checking all these different portals...
1205
01:09:21,277 --> 01:09:24,337
...just to get rejected
by seven different technologies.
1206
01:09:24,514 --> 01:09:26,345
It's exhausting.
1207
01:09:26,816 --> 01:09:28,977
What about that MySpace guy?
1208
01:09:29,152 --> 01:09:31,712
- Jude. I like him.
- Good.
1209
01:09:32,321 --> 01:09:34,789
Yeah, I felt like we connected.
1210
01:09:34,957 --> 01:09:36,254
Great.
1211
01:09:36,526 --> 01:09:39,290
What if she wants you to kiss her?
1212
01:09:39,462 --> 01:09:43,159
Well, then I guess
I'm just gonna have to kiss her.
1213
01:09:43,332 --> 01:09:45,095
"Amanda Jones
is no minor leaguer...
1214
01:09:45,268 --> 01:09:48,294
...who'll be swept off her feet
at the touch of your amateur lips."
1215
01:09:49,772 --> 01:09:51,672
This babe has
plenty of battle scars.
1216
01:09:52,141 --> 01:09:53,165
Hello?
1217
01:09:54,477 --> 01:09:55,842
Oh, hey, you're home.
1218
01:09:57,013 --> 01:09:58,344
Where am I supposed to be?
1219
01:09:59,082 --> 01:10:01,448
Out, maybe? It's Saturday night.
1220
01:10:01,884 --> 01:10:05,342
You won't let me go out with guys
who don't like me. It's kind of limiting.
1221
01:10:05,521 --> 01:10:07,785
Right. Listen, I was just gonna
leave a message.
1222
01:10:07,957 --> 01:10:10,448
I'm having a party next weekend.
You should come.
1223
01:10:11,194 --> 01:10:15,130
Oh, I don't know. Won't Conor be there?
Might be kind of awkward.
1224
01:10:15,298 --> 01:10:19,234
He's at a real-estate conference in D.C.
But there'll be a lot of single guys.
1225
01:10:19,402 --> 01:10:21,962
So there will be plenty of chances
for me to be awkward.
1226
01:10:22,138 --> 01:10:24,629
Don't worry, I'll be there.
I'll talk you through it.
1227
01:10:25,975 --> 01:10:27,067
Okay, gotta go.
1228
01:10:27,243 --> 01:10:30,303
Someone just dropped like 84,000 plates.
Maybe I'll see you there.
1229
01:10:30,480 --> 01:10:32,914
You're busy. I shouldn't have called.
You called me.
1230
01:10:33,082 --> 01:10:35,141
- Yup, good.
- Bye.
1231
01:10:38,988 --> 01:10:41,718
How--How do you work on it?
1232
01:10:42,358 --> 01:10:44,986
Pretend I'm a girl, okay?
1233
01:10:46,195 --> 01:10:47,685
I mean...
1234
01:10:48,197 --> 01:10:49,391
... pretend I'm her.
1235
01:10:50,299 --> 01:10:51,960
Amanda.
1236
01:10:55,204 --> 01:10:56,466
He's into me.
1237
01:10:56,639 --> 01:10:58,800
Awesome. I knew it.
1238
01:10:58,975 --> 01:11:00,909
- Who's this now?
- Alex.
1239
01:11:01,077 --> 01:11:04,342
It's totally clear to me now. He's Watts.
1240
01:11:04,514 --> 01:11:07,677
- He's what?
- From Some Kind of Wonderful.
1241
01:11:07,850 --> 01:11:09,875
I thought Mary Stuart Masterson
was Watts.
1242
01:11:10,052 --> 01:11:12,282
- Yes.
- So why aren't you Watts?
1243
01:11:12,889 --> 01:11:14,447
I'm Eric Stoltz.
1244
01:11:15,825 --> 01:11:19,090
Alex is Watts. Watts helps Eric Stoltz
go on a date with Amanda Jones.
1245
01:11:19,262 --> 01:11:21,127
Really, she's in love with Eric Stoltz.
1246
01:11:21,798 --> 01:11:23,959
So Amanda Jones is Conor?
1247
01:11:24,834 --> 01:11:28,702
I guess. At first. Now men in general,
but that's not the point.
1248
01:11:28,871 --> 01:11:30,736
The point is he's into me.
1249
01:11:30,907 --> 01:11:34,365
I knew there had to be some reason why
he was spending that time with you.
1250
01:11:34,544 --> 01:11:38,105
I know. It's so obvious now.
There are so many signs.
1251
01:11:38,281 --> 01:11:41,739
Signs. Love signs. You gotta
tell me about the signs. I love signs.
1252
01:11:41,918 --> 01:11:45,854
First they were small. At first when I
called, he said, "Good to hear from you."
1253
01:11:46,022 --> 01:11:47,455
- Totally good sign.
- Right?
1254
01:11:47,623 --> 01:11:50,251
And then the next time I called
he was with a woman...
1255
01:11:50,426 --> 01:11:53,122
...but he took the call
and we talked for a while.
1256
01:11:53,296 --> 01:11:55,355
- You know it was a woman?
- Called her "babe."
1257
01:11:55,531 --> 01:11:59,467
Okay, a guy doesn't leave a woman
to go talk to another woman unless he's...
1258
01:11:59,635 --> 01:12:00,966
And it gets more obvious.
1259
01:12:01,137 --> 01:12:05,130
I mean, please. There was no guy
he was gonna fix me up with.
1260
01:12:05,308 --> 01:12:06,775
The fix-up was him.
1261
01:12:06,943 --> 01:12:08,069
No.
1262
01:12:08,244 --> 01:12:12,180
Yes. He shows up
without this fictitious Bill character.
1263
01:12:12,348 --> 01:12:14,077
The two of us basically have a date.
1264
01:12:14,250 --> 01:12:19,187
And then he calls and invites me
to a party at his place.
1265
01:12:19,355 --> 01:12:21,755
He so likes you.
1266
01:12:22,792 --> 01:12:25,488
I'm so happy for you.
1267
01:12:25,661 --> 01:12:28,596
Let's look up places
for your destination wedding.
1268
01:12:31,601 --> 01:12:34,695
How do you feel about Napa Valley?
1269
01:12:34,871 --> 01:12:37,032
I have really always wanted to go there.
1270
01:12:40,142 --> 01:12:41,769
Oh, he's cute.
1271
01:12:41,944 --> 01:12:44,378
Yeah. Smoldering but sensitive.
1272
01:12:45,147 --> 01:12:49,481
Oh. "All I have is my guitar, these chords,
and the truth."
1273
01:12:49,652 --> 01:12:50,846
Bon Jovi.
1274
01:12:51,020 --> 01:12:53,420
- That's hot.
- Yeah. I like him.
1275
01:12:53,589 --> 01:12:57,650
I mean, he probably hasn't called yet
because we just had coffee last night.
1276
01:12:58,194 --> 01:12:59,991
- Really?
- Yeah, you know.
1277
01:13:00,162 --> 01:13:03,393
I mean, we actually video
iChatted while holding coffee.
1278
01:13:03,566 --> 01:13:05,227
But that's the same thing, right?
1279
01:13:05,401 --> 01:13:07,528
- Right, right.
- Just call your voicemail.
1280
01:13:07,703 --> 01:13:11,571
Yeah, but he had a gig last night
and he probably didn't get home till late.
1281
01:13:11,741 --> 01:13:13,709
- Did I tell you he's a singer?
- Mm-hm.
1282
01:13:13,876 --> 01:13:15,639
- Just call.
- Oh, honey, no, on speaker.
1283
01:13:16,245 --> 01:13:18,543
I don't think so.
I'm sure he hasn't called.
1284
01:13:18,714 --> 01:13:20,238
- Just call him.
- Okay.
1285
01:13:25,988 --> 01:13:29,446
- You have two new messages.
- Oh.
1286
01:13:31,294 --> 01:13:33,262
Mary
1287
01:13:33,429 --> 01:13:37,297
Whoa, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary
1288
01:13:37,833 --> 01:13:40,802
Oh, my Mary
1289
01:13:41,604 --> 01:13:43,003
I just got hard.
1290
01:13:43,172 --> 01:13:44,662
Hey, Mary, it's Jude.
1291
01:13:44,840 --> 01:13:48,776
I was just calling to tell you again
how special it was to meet you.
1292
01:13:48,945 --> 01:13:52,506
So call me back.
Bye-bye.
1293
01:13:54,517 --> 01:13:55,677
Amazing.
1294
01:13:56,185 --> 01:13:58,312
- This is good, this is good.
- This is...
1295
01:13:58,487 --> 01:13:59,715
See, he called.
1296
01:13:59,889 --> 01:14:01,584
Jenny
1297
01:14:01,757 --> 01:14:05,693
Whoa, Jenny, Jenny, Jenny
1298
01:14:05,861 --> 01:14:09,058
Hey, Jenny, it's Jude.
I was just calling to--
1299
01:14:09,231 --> 01:14:13,258
Whoa, shit. What number did I just dial?
1300
01:14:13,469 --> 01:14:16,461
All messages erased.
1301
01:14:27,917 --> 01:14:28,941
That one.
1302
01:14:29,118 --> 01:14:30,210
- You sure?
- Yeah.
1303
01:14:31,754 --> 01:14:33,813
No. It's a laminate.
1304
01:14:34,824 --> 01:14:37,258
- That's not real hardwood floor?
- Nope.
1305
01:14:37,426 --> 01:14:40,918
It looks exactly like it. But it is
like one one-hundredth of the cost.
1306
01:14:41,097 --> 01:14:42,291
Oh.
1307
01:14:43,866 --> 01:14:45,629
I still wanna go with the real wood.
1308
01:14:46,435 --> 01:14:48,733
What? You can't even tell the difference.
1309
01:14:48,904 --> 01:14:50,633
It's not the point.
1310
01:14:51,674 --> 01:14:53,005
Well, what is the point?
1311
01:14:53,175 --> 01:14:54,870
I just...
1312
01:14:55,344 --> 01:14:58,040
I don't like the way
it's pretending to be wood.
1313
01:14:58,214 --> 01:15:00,808
If you're not wood,
don't try and look like wood.
1314
01:15:01,584 --> 01:15:03,643
I don't think that it's pretending.
1315
01:15:04,854 --> 01:15:06,515
This is a lie, Ben.
1316
01:15:06,689 --> 01:15:10,318
Just be up front
and tell people what you really are.
1317
01:15:12,061 --> 01:15:14,256
Okay, you're right. You're right.
1318
01:15:14,430 --> 01:15:16,057
I'm sorry.
1319
01:15:18,934 --> 01:15:22,495
It's okay. Maybe we should just go
look at the grills and we'll come back.
1320
01:15:23,439 --> 01:15:24,463
Okay.
1321
01:15:29,011 --> 01:15:30,979
I slept with someone.
1322
01:15:39,522 --> 01:15:41,683
- I said--
- I heard you.
1323
01:15:46,028 --> 01:15:49,259
You tell me this in Home Depot
because you know I hate a public scene.
1324
01:15:49,432 --> 01:15:52,128
No, that is not why I'm telling--
1325
01:15:52,635 --> 01:15:54,227
I knew it.
1326
01:15:55,137 --> 01:15:56,161
I knew it.
1327
01:15:56,338 --> 01:15:58,238
- You asshole.
- I'm sorry.
1328
01:16:00,242 --> 01:16:03,177
It is you that's been smoking too,
isn't it?
1329
01:16:03,779 --> 01:16:06,247
Wha--? Wait, what does that
even matter?
1330
01:16:06,415 --> 01:16:08,110
Have you--?!
1331
01:16:09,485 --> 01:16:11,009
Have you been smoking?
1332
01:16:11,187 --> 01:16:12,518
No. No, I haven't.
1333
01:16:19,795 --> 01:16:21,092
I talked to Neil. I told him.
1334
01:16:21,263 --> 01:16:23,060
He said I could stay
at his boat for a while.
1335
01:16:23,232 --> 01:16:24,529
Excuse me?
1336
01:16:25,668 --> 01:16:27,761
Now you're moving out?
1337
01:16:27,937 --> 01:16:29,837
- You're, like, leaving me?
- No.
1338
01:16:30,005 --> 01:16:33,202
No, I just assumed
that you wouldn't want me to--
1339
01:16:34,276 --> 01:16:37,939
Aren't we gonna deal with this?
1340
01:16:38,114 --> 01:16:42,073
Don't you wanna find some way...
1341
01:16:42,251 --> 01:16:44,879
...for us to work through this?
1342
01:16:45,387 --> 01:16:49,289
I assumed that when I told you,
you would want me...
1343
01:16:50,192 --> 01:16:51,216
...out.
1344
01:16:53,963 --> 01:16:55,692
Is that what you want?
1345
01:17:08,978 --> 01:17:10,240
No.
1346
01:17:12,681 --> 01:17:14,046
Okay.
1347
01:17:14,450 --> 01:17:15,917
Okay.
1348
01:17:38,974 --> 01:17:41,465
You're doing a great job.
1349
01:17:48,484 --> 01:17:51,351
Oh, my gosh, it's Bridget. Hi!
1350
01:17:55,090 --> 01:17:56,955
Oh, my goodness.
1351
01:18:00,296 --> 01:18:02,696
Oh, what a beautiful dog.
1352
01:18:12,274 --> 01:18:16,267
Seriously, Devon, I really did feel
just a moment, a splash, of hesitation.
1353
01:18:16,445 --> 01:18:18,777
No, there wasn't.
There wasn't any hesitation at all.
1354
01:18:18,948 --> 01:18:21,007
You just did it again.
That was a pause.
1355
01:18:21,183 --> 01:18:23,447
I did not pause.
1356
01:18:29,892 --> 01:18:31,757
You must be Beth.
1357
01:18:34,196 --> 01:18:36,255
Yeah. Yeah.
1358
01:18:36,432 --> 01:18:38,730
Heard a lot about you from Paige.
1359
01:18:39,301 --> 01:18:43,169
Actually been lobbying
to sit next to her single sister for weeks.
1360
01:18:43,739 --> 01:18:45,639
Oh, yeah?
1361
01:18:45,808 --> 01:18:48,276
So you must be:
1362
01:18:48,444 --> 01:18:50,071
"Dan."
1363
01:18:50,613 --> 01:18:52,046
Sort of.
1364
01:18:53,015 --> 01:18:56,280
- Sort of?
- Well, I'm actually a Wiccan.
1365
01:18:56,452 --> 01:18:58,147
- A what?
- A Wiccan.
1366
01:18:58,887 --> 01:18:59,911
Wiccan?
1367
01:19:00,089 --> 01:19:01,647
- Male witch.
- Right.
1368
01:19:01,824 --> 01:19:04,384
So I also have a magical name.
1369
01:19:04,760 --> 01:19:07,058
It's Brother Phoenix East-Horse.
1370
01:19:07,229 --> 01:19:10,596
But I didn't know if that would fit
on the card. Love that.
1371
01:19:10,766 --> 01:19:13,394
I'm guessing that I'm gonna
hear a whole lot about you.
1372
01:19:13,569 --> 01:19:16,060
Nature-based
pre-Christian paganism, yeah.
1373
01:19:16,238 --> 01:19:18,229
Yeah. That's fantastic.
1374
01:19:18,407 --> 01:19:19,840
Well, where to begin?
1375
01:19:20,009 --> 01:19:23,001
Well, first off, it's not just a bunch
of nude farming. Dad.
1376
01:19:23,178 --> 01:19:25,203
- Wow.
- Let's look at Stonehenge.
1377
01:19:25,381 --> 01:19:26,678
Obviously not a coincidence.
1378
01:19:26,849 --> 01:19:29,647
They didn't have the machinery
to move those rocks. They're huge.
1379
01:19:29,818 --> 01:19:30,807
- Yeah, they're heavy.
- Of course.
1380
01:20:01,148 --> 01:20:04,140
- I'm Nathan. And this is Bruce.
- Gigi.
1381
01:20:05,219 --> 01:20:06,811
- Gigi. Hi.
- Hey.
1382
01:20:07,821 --> 01:20:11,222
So how do you guys know Alex?
1383
01:20:12,493 --> 01:20:16,122
We don't. Our friend Mary heard
about this from some guy named Conor.
1384
01:20:19,233 --> 01:20:21,360
And how do you know Alex?
1385
01:20:23,237 --> 01:20:24,864
I hope--
1386
01:20:25,205 --> 01:20:28,697
I'm pretty sure that something's
about to happen between us.
1387
01:20:28,876 --> 01:20:30,400
- Ooh.
- Oh.
1388
01:20:30,577 --> 01:20:34,343
So are you here as, like, a guest,
or, like, his date?
1389
01:20:34,515 --> 01:20:38,212
Oh, I hate that.
When you don't know if you're a date.
1390
01:20:38,385 --> 01:20:41,650
You don't know if you should bring
a friend, or are you co-hosting...
1391
01:20:41,822 --> 01:20:44,518
...or should you stay to the end
to have some alone time?
1392
01:20:44,692 --> 01:20:47,160
He didn't say.
I'm sure I'm more than just a guest.
1393
01:20:48,095 --> 01:20:49,858
- I mean, there have been signs.
- Cool.
1394
01:21:16,156 --> 01:21:17,384
So where's Neil?
1395
01:21:17,558 --> 01:21:18,616
We broke up.
1396
01:21:18,792 --> 01:21:21,022
- No way.
- Yeah.
1397
01:21:21,528 --> 01:21:23,689
You guys were together,
what, like 10 years?
1398
01:21:23,864 --> 01:21:25,661
Seven. But still, it's a long time.
1399
01:21:25,833 --> 01:21:26,959
Yeah.
1400
01:21:27,534 --> 01:21:30,435
It's too bad cousins can't marry,
because then we could maybe--
1401
01:21:30,604 --> 01:21:32,572
Oh, Dominic.
1402
01:21:32,906 --> 01:21:34,965
- Gross.
- No.
1403
01:21:37,010 --> 01:21:38,705
Ken, are you okay?
What happened?
1404
01:21:41,048 --> 01:21:42,072
Oh, my God.
1405
01:21:42,249 --> 01:21:44,513
- Ken, are you all right?
- Just clutched his chest.
1406
01:21:44,685 --> 01:21:46,653
He was standing there
and all of a sudden--
1407
01:21:47,121 --> 01:21:48,850
- Ken, just try to breathe.
- Call 911.
1408
01:21:49,022 --> 01:21:50,148
Dad. Excuse me.
1409
01:21:50,324 --> 01:21:52,815
Daddy, what is it? What happened?
What happened?
1410
01:21:52,993 --> 01:21:54,927
- Guys, come here!
- What happened?
1411
01:21:55,095 --> 01:21:56,528
Daddy, lay down, okay?
1412
01:21:56,697 --> 01:21:58,028
- Did he fall?
- You'll be fine.
1413
01:21:58,198 --> 01:22:01,065
You guys, did anybody
see what happened?
1414
01:22:01,235 --> 01:22:03,760
- Over there. Just go get it.
- Okay.
1415
01:22:06,173 --> 01:22:08,437
Hey, hey. I had no idea
it'd be such a madhouse.
1416
01:22:08,609 --> 01:22:09,871
Hey. Great party.
1417
01:22:10,043 --> 01:22:12,443
Thanks. Did any guys hit on you?
A lot of them here.
1418
01:22:12,613 --> 01:22:15,207
You need me to evaluate
any level of interest?
1419
01:22:15,382 --> 01:22:18,647
They were gay. Even I know
their level of interest was probably low.
1420
01:22:18,819 --> 01:22:19,843
Hey, Skilo!
1421
01:22:20,020 --> 01:22:23,217
It's too bad Bill couldn't make it.
I know you guys would hit it off.
1422
01:22:23,390 --> 01:22:24,789
Okay, right. "Bill."
1423
01:22:25,926 --> 01:22:26,950
Right.
1424
01:22:31,165 --> 01:22:35,534
Listen, I gotta go make a liquor run,
but the food needs some refreshing.
1425
01:22:36,303 --> 01:22:38,965
- Would you mind helping and refilling--?
- Like co-hosting?
1426
01:22:40,340 --> 01:22:42,467
Okay, yeah.
1427
01:22:42,643 --> 01:22:43,667
Sure.
1428
01:22:43,844 --> 01:22:46,176
Just refilling the chips.
They're on the fridge.
1429
01:22:46,346 --> 01:22:47,438
Thanks.
1430
01:22:51,718 --> 01:22:54,118
- Hey, sweetie, get me a beer?
- I'll get you another.
1431
01:22:54,288 --> 01:22:56,756
- Hi, guys.
- Nice.
1432
01:22:56,924 --> 01:22:58,915
Hey, Linda.
1433
01:23:14,641 --> 01:23:16,939
- Really great party.
- Oh, thanks.
1434
01:23:17,744 --> 01:23:21,475
You know, when Alex said he wanted
to throw a party, I was like, "Let's do it!"
1435
01:23:21,648 --> 01:23:24,446
- Thanks for having us.
- No problem, any time.
1436
01:23:25,285 --> 01:23:26,684
Can I help you find something?
1437
01:23:26,854 --> 01:23:28,913
Oh, no, it's okay. I got it.
1438
01:23:29,089 --> 01:23:30,522
Thanks for mixing that up.
1439
01:23:31,358 --> 01:23:32,416
What?
1440
01:23:32,593 --> 01:23:36,256
Alex asked me to get the dip together.
Thanks for getting it started.
1441
01:23:37,531 --> 01:23:39,294
It could use a little more dill.
1442
01:23:39,466 --> 01:23:41,195
I'm on it, though, don't worry.
1443
01:23:45,372 --> 01:23:47,101
Come on, my boy. Take it home.
1444
01:23:47,274 --> 01:23:49,105
Franchise player. My boy Marbury.
1445
01:23:49,276 --> 01:23:50,903
- Fifteen seconds.
- Let's go.
1446
01:23:51,078 --> 01:23:53,376
- Oh, a pass.
- You work too hard.
1447
01:23:53,547 --> 01:23:56,880
Well, I think I've rounded up
the last of the beer bottles.
1448
01:23:58,318 --> 01:24:01,310
- Oh, what game are we playing?
- Oh, sorry, Nash.
1449
01:24:01,488 --> 01:24:03,718
- Oh, come on.
- Come on, come on.
1450
01:24:03,891 --> 01:24:07,520
- Nash, you piece of shit. Come on.
- Maybe I should just--
1451
01:24:07,694 --> 01:24:09,423
- It's past 3, so...
- Okay, swat it.
1452
01:24:09,596 --> 01:24:11,029
Watch this. Ready?
1453
01:24:11,198 --> 01:24:12,756
- And...
- Oh, no, no, no!
1454
01:24:12,933 --> 01:24:16,130
Yes. Suck it. Yes.
1455
01:24:16,303 --> 01:24:18,237
Oh, you are--
You're sensational.
1456
01:24:18,405 --> 01:24:19,463
- Yeah, I know.
- Jesus.
1457
01:24:20,173 --> 01:24:21,731
I don't know why I bother.
1458
01:24:21,909 --> 01:24:23,877
- Did you say it's past 3?
- Yeah.
1459
01:24:24,044 --> 01:24:27,343
- Oh, man, I gotta go. Hey, good game.
- All right.
1460
01:24:27,514 --> 01:24:29,539
- Bye.
- Bye.
1461
01:24:52,539 --> 01:24:55,633
Hey, thanks for staying
and helping me clean up.
1462
01:24:56,610 --> 01:24:58,771
I really gotta go to bed, though.
1463
01:24:58,946 --> 01:25:00,436
Is that an invitation?
1464
01:25:01,315 --> 01:25:02,339
What?
1465
01:25:03,750 --> 01:25:05,911
Oh, God, that was cheesy.
1466
01:25:06,353 --> 01:25:08,844
Oh, I'm not good at this.
1467
01:25:09,289 --> 01:25:10,415
What?
1468
01:25:19,466 --> 01:25:20,728
Hey.
1469
01:25:21,134 --> 01:25:23,329
Oh, yes. I knew it.
1470
01:25:23,503 --> 01:25:26,563
The best relationships
grow out of friendships.
1471
01:25:26,740 --> 01:25:28,799
Wait, wait, wait. Gigi.
1472
01:25:29,443 --> 01:25:31,638
Wait, wait, wait.
1473
01:25:31,812 --> 01:25:33,109
What?
1474
01:25:33,280 --> 01:25:35,111
Now you and I are in a relationship?
1475
01:25:35,282 --> 01:25:39,184
Well, I'd say if we're not
at relationship station-ship...
1476
01:25:39,353 --> 01:25:40,820
...we're at least on the track.
1477
01:25:42,222 --> 01:25:45,214
And why exactly would you think that?
1478
01:25:45,392 --> 01:25:47,155
Because of the signs.
1479
01:25:47,728 --> 01:25:49,093
Really, like what?
1480
01:25:49,262 --> 01:25:52,493
Like, it was good to hear from me...
1481
01:25:52,666 --> 01:25:56,033
...and you talked to me
even when you were with a girl...
1482
01:25:56,203 --> 01:25:58,899
...and I felt something.
1483
01:25:59,439 --> 01:26:01,373
Oh, man.
1484
01:26:01,541 --> 01:26:02,803
What are you talking about?
1485
01:26:02,976 --> 01:26:06,275
Gigi, what have I been saying
since I met you?
1486
01:26:06,446 --> 01:26:10,109
If a guy wants to date you, he will make
it happen, okay? He will ask you out.
1487
01:26:10,283 --> 01:26:11,477
Did I ask you out?
1488
01:26:12,753 --> 01:26:13,845
No.
1489
01:26:14,021 --> 01:26:16,546
Why would you do this?
1490
01:26:16,857 --> 01:26:18,825
Oh, shit.
1491
01:26:18,992 --> 01:26:21,688
Why do women do this?
Build up this stuff in their minds...
1492
01:26:21,862 --> 01:26:25,730
...take each little thing a guy does,
and then twist it into something else?
1493
01:26:25,899 --> 01:26:27,594
It's insane.
1494
01:26:37,978 --> 01:26:41,038
I'd rather be like that than be like you.
1495
01:26:43,150 --> 01:26:44,378
Excuse me?
1496
01:26:44,551 --> 01:26:46,519
What is that supposed to mean?
1497
01:26:48,889 --> 01:26:51,585
I may dissect each little thing...
1498
01:26:51,758 --> 01:26:54,818
...and put myself out there too much...
1499
01:26:54,995 --> 01:26:57,327
...but at least that means I still care.
1500
01:26:57,497 --> 01:27:03,367
Oh, you think you've won
because women are expendable to you?
1501
01:27:03,537 --> 01:27:07,871
You may not get hurt
or make an ass of yourself that way...
1502
01:27:08,041 --> 01:27:10,737
...but you don't fall in love
that way either.
1503
01:27:10,911 --> 01:27:12,640
You have not won.
1504
01:27:12,813 --> 01:27:14,974
You're alone, Alex.
1505
01:27:21,721 --> 01:27:24,087
I may do a lot of stupid shit...
1506
01:27:24,257 --> 01:27:28,751
...but I know I'm a lot closer
to finding someone than you are.
1507
01:27:36,803 --> 01:27:38,930
Do you want anything else?
1508
01:27:39,106 --> 01:27:42,564
Yeah, less of the cardboard crap
and more regular people food.
1509
01:27:42,742 --> 01:27:47,338
Well, that cardboard crap
is what we call whole-wheat toast.
1510
01:27:47,747 --> 01:27:51,239
Well, maybe you could just fry me up
a couple of sausage links.
1511
01:27:51,418 --> 01:27:54,546
People who have just had a heart attack
are generally not advised...
1512
01:27:54,721 --> 01:27:58,179
...to have animal fat that's been stuffed
into a synthetic casing.
1513
01:28:08,902 --> 01:28:12,565
Hey, Beth. Grab me a beer
when you get to the kitchen, okay?
1514
01:28:12,739 --> 01:28:15,572
And a little plate of cold cuts,
if there are any left.
1515
01:28:15,742 --> 01:28:19,269
Hey, would you guys please just turn
that down a bit? Dad's trying to sleep.
1516
01:28:19,446 --> 01:28:21,437
You think he wants
to hang on to this vinyl?
1517
01:28:21,615 --> 01:28:23,640
My collection could use a lot of these.
1518
01:28:23,817 --> 01:28:26,149
Would you just turn it the fuck down?
1519
01:28:29,422 --> 01:28:31,913
Well, we're totally out of toilet paper...
1520
01:28:32,092 --> 01:28:36,722
...and all we have left to eat
is some old jelly and some ramen noodles.
1521
01:28:36,897 --> 01:28:41,561
And our new brother would like to co-opt
Dad's property before he's even dead.
1522
01:28:41,735 --> 01:28:44,863
Laura, also your husband would
really like another beer...
1523
01:28:45,038 --> 01:28:48,166
...to go with his fifth consecutive hour
of the golf network.
1524
01:28:50,143 --> 01:28:51,735
Are you okay?
1525
01:28:53,213 --> 01:28:55,909
Don't worry, honey,
Dad's gonna be fine.
1526
01:28:57,617 --> 01:28:59,175
- Do you know who it is?
- No.
1527
01:29:00,487 --> 01:29:02,352
Doesn't matter.
1528
01:29:03,723 --> 01:29:05,190
So are you gonna leave him?
1529
01:29:06,259 --> 01:29:09,319
Gigi, he's my husband.
1530
01:29:09,496 --> 01:29:12,659
He's not some guy
who didn't call me back.
1531
01:29:12,832 --> 01:29:14,766
He did admit it to me.
1532
01:29:15,135 --> 01:29:18,627
He didn't wait to get caught,
which takes courage, you know?
1533
01:29:19,573 --> 01:29:21,939
I'm sorry, I didn't mean that.
1534
01:29:22,108 --> 01:29:23,370
I didn't mean it.
1535
01:29:23,543 --> 01:29:25,977
I know that Alex wasn't just some guy.
1536
01:29:26,346 --> 01:29:28,337
Oh, it's okay.
1537
01:29:32,385 --> 01:29:33,716
It's my fault, you know.
1538
01:29:34,221 --> 01:29:35,279
What?
1539
01:29:35,455 --> 01:29:41,724
Oh, I just think I need to take responsibility
for my share in the whole...
1540
01:29:41,895 --> 01:29:44,455
...mess. You know?
1541
01:29:44,631 --> 01:29:47,395
I forced him into getting married.
1542
01:29:48,301 --> 01:29:50,997
- You know, he wasn't ready.
- Janine, this isn't your fault.
1543
01:29:51,171 --> 01:29:54,197
No, it is. It is, I've changed.
1544
01:29:54,975 --> 01:29:56,738
I was...
1545
01:29:57,777 --> 01:29:59,904
...fun, you know?
1546
01:30:00,313 --> 01:30:02,110
I was fun when we first met.
1547
01:30:02,282 --> 01:30:03,408
You're still fun.
1548
01:30:12,192 --> 01:30:13,591
We don't have sex anymore.
1549
01:30:19,332 --> 01:30:21,163
Lots of couples go through lulls.
1550
01:30:21,334 --> 01:30:22,824
No, I mean...
1551
01:30:25,272 --> 01:30:28,139
...we never have sex.
1552
01:30:36,049 --> 01:30:39,075
I mean, realistically,
what do I expect him to do, you know?
1553
01:30:39,252 --> 01:30:41,550
I don't think that's really...
1554
01:30:43,323 --> 01:30:45,951
God, this tile is too small.
1555
01:30:46,126 --> 01:30:48,060
I have to tell Javier.
1556
01:30:48,528 --> 01:30:51,691
- What?
- This tile is too small.
1557
01:30:51,998 --> 01:30:55,832
I gotta go. I have to take a personal day,
if anyone asks.
1558
01:31:04,210 --> 01:31:07,441
Well, my first husband
was unimpressive.
1559
01:31:07,614 --> 01:31:10,412
I found him in bed
with his big-breasted secretary...
1560
01:31:10,583 --> 01:31:12,778
...when I came home early
from the Maldives.
1561
01:31:12,952 --> 01:31:15,853
It was just so unoriginal.
1562
01:31:16,022 --> 01:31:18,388
Made me feel sorry for him.
1563
01:31:18,558 --> 01:31:22,221
My second husband
was a pinch more creative.
1564
01:31:22,395 --> 01:31:24,192
Cheated on me with my sister...
1565
01:31:24,364 --> 01:31:29,427
...but made me believe that I was insane
for being suspicious.
1566
01:31:29,602 --> 01:31:33,060
So at least some mind games,
some intrigue.
1567
01:31:33,239 --> 01:31:36,868
But my last husband, he was a gem.
1568
01:31:37,043 --> 01:31:39,944
He was a veritable master
at covering his tracks.
1569
01:31:40,113 --> 01:31:45,050
I mean, I pored over his phone records,
I intercepted his credit-card bills...
1570
01:31:45,218 --> 01:31:47,311
...I had him followed
on numerous occasions...
1571
01:31:47,487 --> 01:31:50,820
...and never found
a single shred of evidence.
1572
01:31:50,990 --> 01:31:53,390
It wasn't until he died...
1573
01:31:53,560 --> 01:31:58,759
...that I found out about the property
he owned with his Austrian mistress.
1574
01:31:58,932 --> 01:32:03,631
But the real master, I have to say, is me.
1575
01:32:03,803 --> 01:32:09,469
Three husbands, countless boyfriends,
I haven't been caught yet.
1576
01:32:09,809 --> 01:32:11,936
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
1577
01:32:14,180 --> 01:32:17,172
- Oh, my God, oh, my God. I can't--
- Shh.
1578
01:32:23,123 --> 01:32:24,852
It's over there.
1579
01:32:28,461 --> 01:32:30,122
Oh, my God.
1580
01:32:30,296 --> 01:32:32,059
He liked the demo. I can't believe it.
1581
01:32:32,232 --> 01:32:33,290
It's unbelievable.
1582
01:32:33,466 --> 01:32:36,162
Did you hear when he said
that it was hauntingly beautiful?
1583
01:32:36,336 --> 01:32:38,327
Yeah, I was there. I was--
1584
01:32:38,505 --> 01:32:40,200
I was there, baby.
1585
01:32:40,740 --> 01:32:42,469
Thank you.
1586
01:33:14,541 --> 01:33:18,602
Dana, I'm working. I'm still going over
some offering statements. You gotta--
1587
01:33:19,679 --> 01:33:21,647
You gotta come back later.
1588
01:33:22,382 --> 01:33:24,441
It's not Dana.
1589
01:33:27,554 --> 01:33:28,578
Is that your--?
1590
01:33:29,589 --> 01:33:30,851
- Is that your--?
- Shh.
1591
01:33:31,458 --> 01:33:32,925
Can you get in the closet?
1592
01:33:34,727 --> 01:33:36,285
- Get in the closet.
- What?
1593
01:33:36,463 --> 01:33:38,931
Just go in the closet for a second.
Just for a second.
1594
01:33:39,098 --> 01:33:40,122
Ben?
1595
01:33:42,969 --> 01:33:46,132
I keep telling Dana
to get that damn lock fixed.
1596
01:33:46,739 --> 01:33:49,674
- Why do you even bother locking it?
- What?
1597
01:33:49,843 --> 01:33:52,243
Why do you bother locking it?
1598
01:33:53,246 --> 01:33:56,340
Oh, you know I can't get any work done
if I don't.
1599
01:34:03,957 --> 01:34:06,482
- Hey.
- Hi.
1600
01:34:07,093 --> 01:34:09,561
- Can I come in?
- Yeah, of course.
1601
01:34:22,375 --> 01:34:23,399
What are you doing?
1602
01:34:24,511 --> 01:34:26,069
Sit down.
1603
01:34:26,346 --> 01:34:27,870
Okay.
1604
01:34:39,959 --> 01:34:41,586
Hon?
1605
01:34:46,466 --> 01:34:47,524
What are you doing?
1606
01:34:48,001 --> 01:34:50,162
I don't know. I just thought...
1607
01:34:50,336 --> 01:34:51,963
...maybe we could--
1608
01:34:53,873 --> 01:34:55,067
- Sorry.
- Are you okay?
1609
01:34:55,241 --> 01:34:57,232
Maybe if you just go
over there.
1610
01:34:57,410 --> 01:34:59,674
Just trying to...
1611
01:35:00,480 --> 01:35:02,311
...you know,
re-light the fire.
1612
01:35:02,482 --> 01:35:04,643
Oh, honey.
1613
01:35:04,817 --> 01:35:09,015
Didn't you hear what I said before?
I really gotta finish these offerings.
1614
01:35:10,990 --> 01:35:12,617
Look...
1615
01:35:14,160 --> 01:35:16,424
...I'm really trying here.
1616
01:35:18,698 --> 01:35:21,826
Do you wanna save our marriage?
1617
01:35:26,773 --> 01:35:28,673
Of course.
1618
01:35:29,309 --> 01:35:30,833
Me too.
1619
01:35:55,034 --> 01:35:58,800
Tyrone, you cover 4 through 6 and pitch in
with the bussers when you can.
1620
01:35:58,972 --> 01:36:00,940
Wait a minute. I'm on 8 through 10.
1621
01:36:01,608 --> 01:36:04,577
Hey, I been working here 18 months,
8 through 10.
1622
01:36:05,812 --> 01:36:07,780
Minor oversight.
1623
01:36:09,415 --> 01:36:12,316
Luis, you cover 4 through 6, then.
1624
01:36:12,485 --> 01:36:15,943
Dude, Luis quit like 10 months ago.
1625
01:36:17,690 --> 01:36:19,180
Yeah, he quit.
1626
01:36:20,526 --> 01:36:23,461
Is there any reason
we're even having this meeting?
1627
01:36:23,630 --> 01:36:24,790
Not really.
1628
01:36:24,964 --> 01:36:26,932
- No, not for me.
- Great. Good. Great.
1629
01:36:27,100 --> 01:36:29,000
Meeting adjourned.
1630
01:36:29,168 --> 01:36:30,931
Back to work.
1631
01:36:35,508 --> 01:36:37,772
Hey, Kelli Ann.
1632
01:36:39,946 --> 01:36:41,573
Did I get any calls?
1633
01:36:41,748 --> 01:36:47,084
Since you asked me 11 minutes ago, no.
Not a lot of phone traffic.
1634
01:36:51,824 --> 01:36:54,054
- Oh, my God.
- What?
1635
01:36:54,727 --> 01:36:55,819
What's her name?
1636
01:36:57,697 --> 01:36:59,028
Who?
1637
01:36:59,198 --> 01:37:00,597
The girl, Alex.
1638
01:37:01,234 --> 01:37:03,395
There's no girl.
1639
01:37:03,569 --> 01:37:05,002
You can't hide it, man.
1640
01:37:05,171 --> 01:37:08,572
I know strung out
and you are strung out.
1641
01:37:10,476 --> 01:37:13,036
Okay, please.
1642
01:37:13,579 --> 01:37:15,171
This is amazing.
1643
01:37:15,715 --> 01:37:17,478
You can't focus, right?
1644
01:37:17,650 --> 01:37:21,916
Jumping every time your phone rings,
checking your e-mail 100 times a day...
1645
01:37:22,088 --> 01:37:23,851
...wishing you could write songs.
1646
01:37:24,023 --> 01:37:28,687
No, feeling the need to bring up her name
in random conversations.
1647
01:37:29,362 --> 01:37:33,162
It's always the same
and it has happened to you, my friend.
1648
01:37:36,969 --> 01:37:38,493
Shit.
1649
01:37:41,107 --> 01:37:42,472
Welcome to my world, asshole.
1650
01:37:44,644 --> 01:37:46,407
Let me get the door.
1651
01:37:50,049 --> 01:37:52,916
Sure I can't interest you
in a little beef and broccoli?
1652
01:37:53,086 --> 01:37:54,951
I gotta finish this stuff.
1653
01:37:55,121 --> 01:37:56,554
Okay.
1654
01:37:58,057 --> 01:38:00,958
- Yeah. So I'll see you at home.
- Okay.
1655
01:38:01,928 --> 01:38:03,589
I love you.
1656
01:38:04,097 --> 01:38:05,928
I love you too.
1657
01:38:10,703 --> 01:38:13,001
- Okay. I'll see you later. Okay, bye.
- Bye.
1658
01:38:21,447 --> 01:38:23,074
- You make me sick.
- I had no choice.
1659
01:38:23,249 --> 01:38:26,013
- You're a disgusting excuse for a man!
- What was I supposed to do?
1660
01:38:26,185 --> 01:38:28,380
- You're the one I wanna be--
- Don't touch me!
1661
01:38:28,554 --> 01:38:30,954
You will never touch me again.
1662
01:38:36,129 --> 01:38:38,563
Dino, thanks again for letting me
pay over the phone.
1663
01:38:38,731 --> 01:38:42,792
I assure you this late-payment thing
will never happen again.
1664
01:38:42,969 --> 01:38:45,529
Yep, just trying to trim
some of the drama out of my life.
1665
01:38:46,873 --> 01:38:47,965
Oh, that's my other line.
1666
01:38:48,141 --> 01:38:49,335
Okay, bye.
1667
01:38:49,509 --> 01:38:51,534
- Hello?
- Hi, Gigi?
1668
01:38:51,711 --> 01:38:53,110
This is Bill.
1669
01:38:53,279 --> 01:38:55,270
- Bill?
- Alex's friend.
1670
01:38:55,448 --> 01:38:59,544
We were supposed to meet up
but Alex told me the wrong day.
1671
01:39:00,253 --> 01:39:02,244
Bill, so you do exist.
1672
01:39:02,421 --> 01:39:03,752
I do.
1673
01:39:03,923 --> 01:39:07,984
And I'd love to buy you dinner sometime
if you're still game.
1674
01:39:09,095 --> 01:39:10,357
Yes.
1675
01:39:10,530 --> 01:39:12,657
Sure, why not?
1676
01:39:20,506 --> 01:39:21,734
Hey.
1677
01:39:21,908 --> 01:39:24,001
Coming, I'm coming, I'm coming.
1678
01:39:24,177 --> 01:39:26,577
Hi. Hi, sweetie.
1679
01:39:27,013 --> 01:39:28,810
See, why did you
just call me "sweetie"?
1680
01:39:28,981 --> 01:39:32,075
- We always call each other that.
- Why?
1681
01:39:32,251 --> 01:39:35,243
All right, look,
I wanna say something, okay?
1682
01:39:35,421 --> 01:39:37,821
We call each other "sweetie"
all the time.
1683
01:39:37,990 --> 01:39:40,754
And we fall asleep on the phone
after talking for hours.
1684
01:39:40,927 --> 01:39:44,294
I washed your hair for you after
you had shoulder surgery and everything.
1685
01:39:44,463 --> 01:39:45,828
And it's like we're together.
1686
01:39:45,998 --> 01:39:48,125
- I know that I've been--
- No, hold on a second.
1687
01:39:48,301 --> 01:39:50,132
Let me finish.
1688
01:39:50,303 --> 01:39:52,134
I think maybe this is my fault...
1689
01:39:52,305 --> 01:39:56,036
...because maybe I wasn't clear
about exactly what I want.
1690
01:39:56,209 --> 01:39:58,837
So let me--
Let me be clear.
1691
01:39:59,011 --> 01:40:00,911
I love hanging out.
1692
01:40:01,247 --> 01:40:05,081
But I'm so attracted to you.
I just-- I want both.
1693
01:40:05,251 --> 01:40:08,015
I don't know what happened
or why we stopped. I don't care.
1694
01:40:08,187 --> 01:40:09,620
Okay.
1695
01:40:10,890 --> 01:40:12,448
- What?
- Okay.
1696
01:40:12,625 --> 01:40:15,822
No, I'm talking about really doing this.
Like a full-on relationship.
1697
01:40:15,995 --> 01:40:17,485
Right.
1698
01:40:17,663 --> 01:40:18,994
With me.
1699
01:40:19,165 --> 01:40:20,564
Yeah.
1700
01:40:22,068 --> 01:40:23,933
A bunch of gay people
put you up to this?
1701
01:40:24,103 --> 01:40:25,900
Stop talking.
1702
01:40:44,891 --> 01:40:48,088
- Stay home. It's an end-around.
- No, no, it's not. He's still got it.
1703
01:40:48,261 --> 01:40:49,694
He's still got it.
1704
01:40:49,862 --> 01:40:52,456
- Shit.
- Who let that happen? It's embarrassing.
1705
01:40:52,632 --> 01:40:56,432
- Argh!
- That is so embarrassing.
1706
01:40:56,802 --> 01:40:57,826
What?
1707
01:40:59,105 --> 01:41:01,630
Did any of you guys have a chance
to get to the store?
1708
01:41:02,174 --> 01:41:04,369
Oh, yeah, no.
We're good, we got takeout.
1709
01:41:04,944 --> 01:41:07,139
No, I didn't mean for you, I meant f--
1710
01:41:07,313 --> 01:41:10,282
- All right, here we go.
- Come on, defense, wake up.
1711
01:41:11,884 --> 01:41:14,648
You have to be kidding me.
1712
01:41:27,934 --> 01:41:31,267
I just got a little bit more of this
I gotta finish.
1713
01:41:31,437 --> 01:41:33,598
There's some laundry
I'm gonna put away...
1714
01:41:33,773 --> 01:41:36,503
...then I had another load of clothes
in the dryer.
1715
01:41:37,009 --> 01:41:40,240
I did get some of the food your dad likes,
but some healthy stuff too.
1716
01:41:40,413 --> 01:41:42,244
Just, you know.
1717
01:41:45,217 --> 01:41:47,310
It's gonna be okay.
1718
01:41:50,089 --> 01:41:51,215
It'll be okay.
1719
01:43:00,292 --> 01:43:02,419
Bend your knee a little bit more.
There you go.
1720
01:43:02,595 --> 01:43:04,722
Inhale, reverse warrior, look up.
1721
01:43:04,897 --> 01:43:05,989
Exhale.
1722
01:43:17,643 --> 01:43:20,510
Hi, you've reached Ben's cell phone.
Please leave--
1723
01:43:50,176 --> 01:43:53,441
You lying sack of shit!
1724
01:43:58,784 --> 01:44:00,445
Lying!
1725
01:44:00,619 --> 01:44:01,643
Sack!
1726
01:44:01,821 --> 01:44:03,413
Shit!
1727
01:44:42,695 --> 01:44:44,458
Okay.
1728
01:44:54,874 --> 01:44:56,739
...or call my cell,
or try me at work...
1729
01:44:56,909 --> 01:45:00,242
... but definitely leave a message
here first. Thanks.
1730
01:45:00,412 --> 01:45:03,711
Hey, Gigi, it's Alex.
1731
01:45:04,283 --> 01:45:06,080
How's it going?
1732
01:45:06,252 --> 01:45:08,152
Just wondering how you're doing.
1733
01:45:08,320 --> 01:45:12,154
I haven't talked to you in a little while...
1734
01:45:12,324 --> 01:45:14,485
...and was just wondering
how you're doing.
1735
01:45:14,660 --> 01:45:18,289
So, hey, I was hoping to talk to you.
1736
01:45:19,231 --> 01:45:21,290
Obviously.
1737
01:45:21,867 --> 01:45:23,767
But you're out, I guess.
1738
01:45:23,936 --> 01:45:27,633
So just call me sometime.
1739
01:45:27,806 --> 01:45:28,966
Or tonight.
1740
01:45:29,141 --> 01:45:31,735
I'm around, I'll be--
Well, I'm in and around.
1741
01:45:32,444 --> 01:45:35,140
So that's enough for now.
1742
01:45:36,682 --> 01:45:38,377
It's Alex.
1743
01:45:38,551 --> 01:45:40,143
Okay.
1744
01:45:43,789 --> 01:45:44,813
Dude.
1745
01:45:45,925 --> 01:45:47,517
I know.
1746
01:46:06,478 --> 01:46:07,502
Hey.
1747
01:46:07,680 --> 01:46:09,409
Hey.
1748
01:46:11,417 --> 01:46:12,679
Welcome aboard.
1749
01:46:12,851 --> 01:46:14,011
Might I come aboard?
1750
01:46:14,186 --> 01:46:16,620
Yeah. You remember the boat.
1751
01:46:16,789 --> 01:46:19,314
Well, you know, I thought I did.
1752
01:46:19,491 --> 01:46:21,925
- Or, you know, little...
- But it's been a while.
1753
01:46:22,094 --> 01:46:26,360
You know that dock? Over there,
there's a boat that looks just like yours.
1754
01:46:26,532 --> 01:46:27,965
- Uh-huh.
- It's not yours.
1755
01:46:28,133 --> 01:46:30,499
- No, that's not my boat.
- It's definitely not.
1756
01:46:30,669 --> 01:46:34,105
But there's a very nice gentleman...
1757
01:46:34,273 --> 01:46:35,535
...living on the boat...
1758
01:46:35,708 --> 01:46:38,836
...who invited me in
for a white-wine spritzer.
1759
01:46:39,011 --> 01:46:40,137
Oh, good.
1760
01:46:40,312 --> 01:46:44,305
Wasn't expecting visitors.
1761
01:46:44,483 --> 01:46:48,476
That's all right. I just wanted
to just come by and say thanks...
1762
01:46:48,654 --> 01:46:50,588
...for helping yesterday.
1763
01:46:50,756 --> 01:46:54,783
Beth, you know, I'm the same person.
1764
01:46:54,960 --> 01:46:57,394
I would do anything for you.
1765
01:46:57,563 --> 01:46:59,997
I just can't give you...
1766
01:47:00,165 --> 01:47:01,894
I just can't give you what you want.
1767
01:47:02,067 --> 01:47:03,864
You're what I want.
1768
01:47:04,036 --> 01:47:07,164
Our life together is what I want.
1769
01:47:07,339 --> 01:47:08,431
I miss it.
1770
01:47:08,607 --> 01:47:09,904
I miss you.
1771
01:47:10,075 --> 01:47:12,600
You see those guys my sisters
are married to--
1772
01:47:12,778 --> 01:47:15,338
You're more of a husband to me,
not being married...
1773
01:47:15,514 --> 01:47:18,972
...than those real husbands
are ever gonna be, and...
1774
01:47:19,151 --> 01:47:23,247
It's enough. It's really enough for me.
1775
01:47:25,691 --> 01:47:28,091
And you would be willing...
1776
01:47:28,260 --> 01:47:32,754
...to take the whole marriage thing
off the table completely?
1777
01:47:32,931 --> 01:47:36,890
If you promise to commit to me
and to love me, and--
1778
01:47:37,069 --> 01:47:39,196
- I already have.
- I'm not finished.
1779
01:47:39,872 --> 01:47:41,464
Okay. All right.
1780
01:47:41,640 --> 01:47:45,167
- But I've loved you for seven years--
- Ah-ah.
1781
01:47:45,344 --> 01:47:46,902
Okay.
1782
01:47:48,113 --> 01:47:51,981
You have to snake the drain
when my hair gets clogged.
1783
01:47:52,151 --> 01:47:54,119
You know that happens. Okay?
1784
01:47:54,286 --> 01:47:55,719
Okay. Yeah.
1785
01:47:55,888 --> 01:47:57,617
And also...
1786
01:47:59,792 --> 01:48:03,250
...you have to let me eat those Wheat Thins
in bed. You gotta give me that.
1787
01:48:03,429 --> 01:48:05,420
- Okay, fine. All right.
- Okay?
1788
01:48:06,699 --> 01:48:08,394
And...
1789
01:48:08,967 --> 01:48:10,298
- Yeah.
- And?
1790
01:48:10,469 --> 01:48:12,937
- That's it.
- Okay.
1791
01:48:16,842 --> 01:48:18,241
Do I get to come home now?
1792
01:48:19,211 --> 01:48:21,270
I guess you can.
1793
01:48:24,450 --> 01:48:26,645
But these cannot come.
1794
01:48:27,152 --> 01:48:28,744
- What, my pants--?
- That's correct.
1795
01:48:28,921 --> 01:48:31,116
- Can't come home? Why?
- No.
1796
01:48:31,290 --> 01:48:34,555
You just won a really big battle,
my friend. Come on.
1797
01:48:36,362 --> 01:48:41,857
So we're not gonna get married,
but I have to get rid of my pants.
1798
01:48:42,034 --> 01:48:44,867
Mm-hm.
And we both win.
1799
01:48:45,237 --> 01:48:48,172
All right. I'll get rid of them if you like.
1800
01:48:48,440 --> 01:48:50,374
You're getting
a lot of bids on this place?
1801
01:48:50,542 --> 01:48:53,773
Yeah. I know it's crazy,
but it's a neighborhood in transition.
1802
01:48:53,946 --> 01:48:56,938
Is that like young, hip, gay couples
or something like that?
1803
01:48:57,116 --> 01:49:01,212
Yeah. Hip gay people,
young couples, young families.
1804
01:49:04,223 --> 01:49:05,656
Wow.
1805
01:49:06,325 --> 01:49:09,226
God, this reminds me of where I grew up.
1806
01:49:09,628 --> 01:49:11,892
I bet it's got one of the--
1807
01:49:12,865 --> 01:49:14,924
Wait a minute.
1808
01:49:15,401 --> 01:49:17,665
Oh, yeah.
1809
01:49:18,070 --> 01:49:21,130
Yeah, that's it.
1810
01:49:22,374 --> 01:49:24,239
We used to have the exact same one...
1811
01:49:24,410 --> 01:49:27,743
...except my mom used it as a desk.
1812
01:49:29,815 --> 01:49:31,783
So...
1813
01:49:32,284 --> 01:49:35,014
...when do all the fabulous people arrive?
1814
01:49:35,187 --> 01:49:37,348
Well, actually,
the open house is tomorrow.
1815
01:49:37,523 --> 01:49:39,787
But I have this one buyer...
1816
01:49:39,958 --> 01:49:43,519
...and I wanted to make sure
his girlfriend likes it first.
1817
01:49:44,096 --> 01:49:46,428
Oh, he has a girlfriend, huh?
1818
01:49:47,966 --> 01:49:49,934
Yeah, I have an idea.
1819
01:49:50,102 --> 01:49:51,330
For this house.
1820
01:49:51,503 --> 01:49:52,629
For me.
1821
01:49:52,805 --> 01:49:55,569
And hopefully, if you like it...
1822
01:49:55,741 --> 01:49:58,335
...and things continue to, you know...
1823
01:49:59,945 --> 01:50:01,344
Anna...
1824
01:50:01,513 --> 01:50:03,572
...I have a plan, okay?
1825
01:50:03,749 --> 01:50:06,718
I know where my life is going,
and I want you to go with me.
1826
01:50:06,885 --> 01:50:09,149
I'm not saying I want you
to move in right now...
1827
01:50:09,321 --> 01:50:13,257
...but I don't want to buy this place
unless, at some point...
1828
01:50:13,425 --> 01:50:15,689
...you could see yourself moving in.
1829
01:50:16,261 --> 01:50:17,956
So, what do you think?
1830
01:50:19,531 --> 01:50:21,795
I can't do this.
1831
01:50:22,768 --> 01:50:24,395
Okay.
1832
01:50:25,504 --> 01:50:28,473
Well, if it's too fast,
I guess we can always just--
1833
01:50:28,640 --> 01:50:30,870
I can't do any of this.
1834
01:50:31,577 --> 01:50:32,908
I mean...
1835
01:50:33,078 --> 01:50:37,515
...what you're saying
and what you're offering...
1836
01:50:37,683 --> 01:50:40,743
...is what every girl wants.
1837
01:50:40,919 --> 01:50:43,251
It's what I always wanted.
1838
01:50:43,422 --> 01:50:45,413
It's just...
1839
01:50:52,197 --> 01:50:53,459
You don't want it with me.
1840
01:51:14,319 --> 01:51:15,343
Okay.
1841
01:51:16,822 --> 01:51:18,687
I have a question.
1842
01:51:20,092 --> 01:51:22,390
Is there any way we could...
1843
01:51:23,328 --> 01:51:26,354
...dial it back to before,
when we were just sleeping together...
1844
01:51:26,532 --> 01:51:30,593
...because I don't know,
I felt like that gelled.
1845
01:51:44,516 --> 01:51:46,074
Babe?
1846
01:52:20,752 --> 01:52:21,980
It was nice meeting you.
1847
01:52:22,154 --> 01:52:24,418
Thank you so much for a lovely evening.
1848
01:52:24,590 --> 01:52:26,387
You too.
1849
01:52:32,731 --> 01:52:33,755
Good night.
1850
01:52:52,818 --> 01:52:54,911
You forget something?
1851
01:52:55,887 --> 01:52:57,878
Yeah, I did.
1852
01:52:58,690 --> 01:53:00,920
Really? What did you forget?
1853
01:53:04,630 --> 01:53:06,097
This.
1854
01:53:10,936 --> 01:53:15,396
You came all the way here at 11:00 at night
to bring me back a promotional pen?
1855
01:53:15,574 --> 01:53:16,666
Yeah.
1856
01:53:16,842 --> 01:53:22,178
I thought I should just come up with
some really great excuse to get over here.
1857
01:53:22,347 --> 01:53:24,440
That's how it's done, isn't it?
1858
01:53:25,884 --> 01:53:27,215
Sometimes.
1859
01:53:27,386 --> 01:53:29,946
Look, I can't stop thinking about you.
1860
01:53:30,422 --> 01:53:31,616
It's a problem.
1861
01:53:31,790 --> 01:53:36,022
I drive by your place, I call and hang up.
1862
01:53:36,194 --> 01:53:37,218
I'm turning into--
1863
01:53:37,396 --> 01:53:38,886
Me.
1864
01:53:39,831 --> 01:53:41,492
Yeah.
1865
01:53:44,603 --> 01:53:46,935
A wise person once told me...
1866
01:53:47,105 --> 01:53:51,906
...that if a guy wants to be with a girl
he will make it happen, no matter what.
1867
01:53:52,077 --> 01:53:53,169
That's true.
1868
01:53:53,345 --> 01:53:56,371
But when I was hurling my body
onto yours...
1869
01:53:56,548 --> 01:53:58,675
...you did not seem
to want to make it happen.
1870
01:53:58,850 --> 01:54:02,183
Yeah, all right.
Here's the thing about that:
1871
01:54:02,354 --> 01:54:03,787
You were right.
1872
01:54:03,955 --> 01:54:07,652
I've gotten so used to keeping myself
at a safe distance from all these women...
1873
01:54:07,826 --> 01:54:09,191
...and having the power...
1874
01:54:09,361 --> 01:54:11,488
...that I didn't know what it felt like...
1875
01:54:11,663 --> 01:54:13,858
...when I actually fell...
1876
01:54:14,032 --> 01:54:16,193
...for one of them.
1877
01:54:19,237 --> 01:54:21,205
I didn't know.
1878
01:54:30,248 --> 01:54:32,614
Look, I just went out
with your friend Bill and...
1879
01:54:32,784 --> 01:54:33,842
Yeah.
1880
01:54:34,019 --> 01:54:36,579
He might be just exactly what I need.
1881
01:54:36,755 --> 01:54:38,484
No drama.
1882
01:54:38,657 --> 01:54:40,955
He calls, he does what he says.
1883
01:54:41,126 --> 01:54:43,253
- I can do that stuff too.
- But you didn't.
1884
01:54:43,428 --> 01:54:45,953
And that same wise person told me
that I am the rule.
1885
01:54:46,131 --> 01:54:49,726
That I have to stop thinking
that every guy will change.
1886
01:54:49,901 --> 01:54:52,165
That I have to stop thinking that--
1887
01:55:09,488 --> 01:55:11,251
I'm the exception.
1888
01:55:14,359 --> 01:55:16,919
You are my exception.
1889
01:56:00,272 --> 01:56:01,296
Conor Barry.
1890
01:56:01,473 --> 01:56:03,907
Hi, it's Mary at the Blade.
1891
01:56:04,075 --> 01:56:06,373
I'm looking at your new ad and I love it.
1892
01:56:07,312 --> 01:56:09,872
Really? You don't think the muscle T
is too much?
1893
01:56:10,549 --> 01:56:14,315
I think the shirt you're wearing now
is probably more you.
1894
01:56:16,221 --> 01:56:17,552
What, you here?
1895
01:56:17,722 --> 01:56:19,917
I'm sitting right in front of you.
1896
01:56:21,259 --> 01:56:23,159
Wow, this is you. Mary.
1897
01:56:23,328 --> 01:56:24,386
It's me.
1898
01:56:24,563 --> 01:56:25,791
I'm me.
1899
01:56:29,668 --> 01:56:30,999
Should I--?
1900
01:56:31,269 --> 01:56:32,600
- Please. Please.
- Okay.
1901
01:56:32,771 --> 01:56:34,796
- Talk to you in a minute.
- See you in a second.
1902
01:56:34,973 --> 01:56:36,838
Okay.
1903
01:56:38,577 --> 01:56:40,169
Hey.
1904
01:56:40,345 --> 01:56:41,642
- Hi.
- How are you?
1905
01:56:41,813 --> 01:56:43,212
It's nice to finally meet you.
1906
01:56:43,381 --> 01:56:44,439
- You too.
- In person.
1907
01:56:45,016 --> 01:56:47,211
This is a pleasant surprise.
1908
01:56:47,385 --> 01:56:48,613
- You...
- What?
1909
01:56:48,787 --> 01:56:51,915
- I don't know. Not what I expected.
- My voice doesn't match my face?
1910
01:56:52,090 --> 01:56:54,456
Your voice does not match your face
in a good way.
1911
01:56:54,626 --> 01:56:57,652
In a-- Yeah, I mean--
That sounded terrible.
1912
01:57:02,300 --> 01:57:04,029
Amazing.
1913
01:57:04,202 --> 01:57:06,534
I don't know how all this stuff
fit in here before.
1914
01:57:06,705 --> 01:57:09,606
I know. It seems like it just expanded.
1915
01:57:18,516 --> 01:57:22,885
You are not trying
to get these back in here.
1916
01:57:23,054 --> 01:57:25,989
- You are not getting rid of these pants.
- We had a deal, mister.
1917
01:57:26,157 --> 01:57:27,522
These are not staying.
1918
01:57:27,692 --> 01:57:32,026
- You can store those horizontally.
- Goodwill wouldn't even take these.
1919
01:57:32,197 --> 01:57:34,665
They could be pressed,
flattened, you can--
1920
01:57:34,833 --> 01:57:38,291
If you're gonna throw them out,
at least check the pockets, all right?
1921
01:57:38,470 --> 01:57:42,099
So you don't throw away
some personal items.
1922
01:57:59,357 --> 01:58:02,588
I love you so much.
1923
01:58:03,328 --> 01:58:04,920
So much.
1924
01:58:05,530 --> 01:58:07,725
And I wanna make you happy.
1925
01:58:08,366 --> 01:58:10,300
I need to make you happy...
1926
01:58:10,468 --> 01:58:14,734
...for me to even have a shot
at being happy.
1927
01:58:16,041 --> 01:58:21,240
Will you marry me?
1928
01:58:26,851 --> 01:58:30,446
Yes, of course I will. Yes.
1929
01:58:30,622 --> 01:58:32,180
Yes.
1930
01:58:36,795 --> 01:58:38,592
Thank God.
1931
01:58:42,534 --> 01:58:44,764
Girls are taught
a lot of stuff growing up:
1932
01:58:44,936 --> 01:58:47,496
If a guy punches you, he likes you.
1933
01:58:47,672 --> 01:58:49,902
Never try to trim your own bangs.
1934
01:58:50,075 --> 01:58:55,035
And someday you will meet a wonderful guy
and get your very own happy ending.
1935
01:58:55,213 --> 01:58:56,874
And your commitment
to each other.
1936
01:58:58,450 --> 01:59:01,783
Every movie we see,
every story we're told...
1937
01:59:01,953 --> 01:59:03,648
... implores us to wait for it.
1938
01:59:04,456 --> 01:59:10,292
The third act twist:
The unexpected declaration of love.
1939
01:59:11,262 --> 01:59:13,389
The exception to the rule.
1940
01:59:13,565 --> 01:59:17,126
But sometimes we're so focused
on finding our happy ending...
1941
01:59:17,302 --> 01:59:19,998
... we don't learn how to read the signs.
1942
01:59:20,171 --> 01:59:23,106
How to tell the ones who want us
from the ones who don't.
1943
01:59:23,274 --> 01:59:26,573
The ones who will stay
from the ones who will leave.
1944
01:59:35,153 --> 01:59:37,018
- Hi.
- Hi.
1945
01:59:37,555 --> 01:59:41,924
And maybe this happy ending
doesn't include a wonderful guy.
1946
01:59:43,261 --> 01:59:46,253
Maybe it's you...
1947
01:59:47,799 --> 01:59:49,699
... on your own...
1948
01:59:49,868 --> 01:59:52,928
... picking up the pieces and starting over.
1949
01:59:54,272 --> 01:59:58,231
Freeing yourself up
for something better in the future.
1950
02:00:00,011 --> 02:00:02,946
Maybe the happy ending is just...
1951
02:00:03,515 --> 02:00:05,449
... moving on.
1952
02:00:09,254 --> 02:00:12,690
Baby, what are you doing? It's our turn.
Forget the dip. Come on, come on.
1953
02:00:12,857 --> 02:00:14,916
Let's go, Alex.
1954
02:00:15,093 --> 02:00:16,685
Come on, Alex, your turn.
1955
02:00:16,861 --> 02:00:18,123
Ready? LOL.
1956
02:00:18,296 --> 02:00:20,662
Laugh out loud! We won!
1957
02:00:20,832 --> 02:00:22,697
Or maybe
the happy ending is this:
1958
02:00:22,867 --> 02:00:26,735
Knowing that through all the unreturned
phone calls and broken hearts...
1959
02:00:26,905 --> 02:00:30,397
... through all the blunders
and misread signals...
1960
02:00:30,575 --> 02:00:33,544
... through all of the pain
and embarrassment...
1961
02:00:33,711 --> 02:00:37,579
... you never,
ever gave up hope.
1962
02:00:44,823 --> 02:00:46,381
Now that
we are married...
1963
02:00:46,558 --> 02:00:47,820
We're gonna move.
1964
02:00:47,992 --> 02:00:49,960
Gonna move.
That's one thing we're gonna do.
1965
02:00:50,128 --> 02:00:54,121
Another thing we're gonna do
is move a little further away from...
1966
02:00:54,299 --> 02:00:57,063
- Baltimore?
- Your sisters.
1967
02:00:57,735 --> 02:00:59,635
I mean,
everyone makes mistakes.
1968
02:00:59,804 --> 02:01:04,798
I've started trying to figure out what
I wanna do, who I wanna be, you know?
1969
02:01:04,976 --> 02:01:08,605
Probably seems the wrong time to do that,
but why not? You know, why not?
1970
02:01:08,780 --> 02:01:10,111
Better later than never.
1971
02:01:10,281 --> 02:01:11,976
I'm dating now.
1972
02:01:14,285 --> 02:01:16,879
What do you miss
most about marriage?
1973
02:01:17,055 --> 02:01:18,522
Have you been married?
1974
02:01:18,690 --> 02:01:19,748
Yes, I'm married.
1975
02:01:19,924 --> 02:01:21,551
- You are married?
- I am married.
1976
02:01:21,726 --> 02:01:23,557
And what's your question?
1977
02:01:23,728 --> 02:01:27,562
- We're heading there, is that fair?
- It's moving fast. Just on our way.
1978
02:01:27,732 --> 02:01:30,496
I like him, I'll say that L word.
1979
02:01:30,668 --> 02:01:33,637
That's true, it does start with an L. Yeah.
1980
02:01:33,805 --> 02:01:36,205
I like her a lot, so...
1981
02:01:36,374 --> 02:01:38,934
- Good, I'm glad.
- I love her. I love her.
1982
02:01:39,644 --> 02:01:42,112
You know, what I've been focusing
my energy on...
1983
02:01:42,280 --> 02:01:46,114
... is like a self-discovery,
as opposed to dating.
1984
02:01:46,284 --> 02:01:48,718
I don't know.
Maybe dating's a little overrated.
1985
02:01:48,887 --> 02:01:53,654
Good friend of mine and I
are going to India for a few months.
1986
02:01:53,825 --> 02:01:55,224
We're going on a yoga retreat.
1987
02:01:55,393 --> 02:01:57,657
I really genuinely
love this person--
1988
02:01:57,829 --> 02:01:59,694
He had asked me
to co-host this party...
1989
02:01:59,864 --> 02:02:01,092
... and I stayed after.
1990
02:02:01,266 --> 02:02:04,929
I was trying to help you out because
there was this girl who would not leave...
1991
02:02:05,103 --> 02:02:07,867
- ... that tall girl.
- Right. She was gross.
1992
02:02:08,039 --> 02:02:09,404
I was trying to--
1993
02:02:09,574 --> 02:02:11,405
She was--
Come on.
1994
02:02:12,305 --> 02:02:18,320
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