1 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074 AmericasCardroom.com brings poker back Million Dollar Sunday Tournament every Sunday 2 00:00:45,529 --> 00:00:47,326 Basic principles: 3 00:00:47,430 --> 00:00:49,489 No woman wakes up saying: 4 00:00:49,766 --> 00:00:52,758 "God, I hope I don't get swept off my feet today." 5 00:00:55,739 --> 00:01:00,233 Now, she might say, "This is a really bad time for me." 6 00:01:02,512 --> 00:01:06,710 Or something like, "I just need some space." 7 00:01:08,218 --> 00:01:10,880 Or my personal favorite: 8 00:01:11,021 --> 00:01:13,717 "I'm really into my career right now." 9 00:01:16,860 --> 00:01:19,385 You believe that? Neither does she. 10 00:01:19,563 --> 00:01:23,431 You know why? Because she's lying to you, that's why. 11 00:01:24,134 --> 00:01:26,694 You understand me? Lying. 12 00:01:27,537 --> 00:01:31,268 It's not a bad time for her. She doesn't need any space. 13 00:01:31,408 --> 00:01:33,273 She may be into her career... 14 00:01:33,410 --> 00:01:37,073 but what she's really saying is, "Get away from me now." 15 00:01:37,480 --> 00:01:40,040 Or possibly, "Try harder, stupid." 16 00:01:43,086 --> 00:01:44,849 Well, which one is it? 17 00:01:44,955 --> 00:01:49,187 60% of all human communication is nonverbal. 18 00:01:49,559 --> 00:01:51,049 Body language. 19 00:01:51,161 --> 00:01:53,186 30% is your tone. 20 00:01:53,763 --> 00:01:57,426 So that means that 90% of what you're saying... 21 00:01:57,667 --> 00:02:00,033 ain't coming out of your mouth. 22 00:02:02,973 --> 00:02:04,099 Toby! 23 00:02:05,675 --> 00:02:06,733 Shit! 24 00:02:06,843 --> 00:02:08,140 Of course she'll lie to you. 25 00:02:08,278 --> 00:02:11,042 She's a nice person, she doesn't wanna hurt your feelings. 26 00:02:11,147 --> 00:02:13,775 What else is she gonna say? She doesn't even know you. 27 00:02:13,917 --> 00:02:14,975 Yet. 28 00:02:17,821 --> 00:02:20,654 Luckily, the fact is that just like the rest of us... 29 00:02:20,790 --> 00:02:25,159 even a beautiful woman doesn't know what she wants until she sees it. 30 00:02:25,428 --> 00:02:27,089 And that's where I come in. 31 00:02:27,197 --> 00:02:29,392 My job is to open her eyes. 32 00:02:31,835 --> 00:02:33,234 Oh, my God! 33 00:02:37,507 --> 00:02:39,498 Is this what you're looking for? 34 00:02:39,643 --> 00:02:43,511 Basic principles: No matter what, no matter when, no matter who... 35 00:02:43,647 --> 00:02:47,139 any man has a chance to sweep any woman off her feet. 36 00:02:47,550 --> 00:02:49,347 Just needs the right broom. 37 00:02:58,828 --> 00:03:01,092 You cannot use what you do not have. 38 00:03:01,197 --> 00:03:04,189 So if you're shy, be shy. If you're outgoing, be outgoing. 39 00:03:04,334 --> 00:03:06,768 - I'm not outgoing. - That's okay. 40 00:03:06,870 --> 00:03:10,328 She may not want the whole truth, but she does want the real you. 41 00:03:10,473 --> 00:03:13,840 She may not want to see it all at once, but she does want to see it. 42 00:03:13,977 --> 00:03:18,778 So tonight, when you're wondering what to say, how you look, or if she likes you... 43 00:03:18,882 --> 00:03:21,851 just remember, she is already out with you. 44 00:03:22,185 --> 00:03:26,349 That means she said yes when she could have said no. 45 00:03:26,556 --> 00:03:30,492 That means she made a plan when she could have just blown you off. 46 00:03:30,627 --> 00:03:34,688 So that means it is no longer your job to try to make her like you. 47 00:03:34,831 --> 00:03:37,766 It is your job not to mess it up. 48 00:03:41,071 --> 00:03:43,631 The shoes are hot. You went to the place I told you? 49 00:03:43,740 --> 00:03:48,268 Yeah, but I don't think they're really me. 50 00:03:48,745 --> 00:03:52,112 "You" is a very fluid concept right now. 51 00:03:52,215 --> 00:03:55,776 You bought the shoes. You look great in the shoes. 52 00:03:55,885 --> 00:03:57,682 That's the you I'm talking about. 53 00:04:00,523 --> 00:04:03,287 The key tonight is hang back. 54 00:04:04,327 --> 00:04:06,352 Give her plenty of space. 55 00:04:07,030 --> 00:04:10,022 If she lingers at a photograph, move on. 56 00:04:12,001 --> 00:04:13,992 But maintain the visual. 57 00:04:17,907 --> 00:04:22,708 It's supposed to be 64 and clear tonight. So when you leave the club, walk a little. 58 00:04:22,846 --> 00:04:25,144 Ask her what she thought about the show... 59 00:04:25,248 --> 00:04:27,978 what was her favorite photograph, why that one. 60 00:04:28,084 --> 00:04:31,485 And when she answers, don't be looking at her mouth. 61 00:04:31,588 --> 00:04:34,250 Don't be wondering what she looks like naked. 62 00:04:34,390 --> 00:04:37,848 Listen to what she is saying and respond. 63 00:04:38,261 --> 00:04:40,752 Listen and respond. 64 00:04:41,431 --> 00:04:43,228 That way, when it's your turn to talk... 65 00:04:43,366 --> 00:04:46,267 you'll have something better to say than, "I like your mouth." 66 00:04:46,402 --> 00:04:48,666 What was your favorite one? 67 00:04:49,472 --> 00:04:51,565 The elephant, definitely. 68 00:04:51,708 --> 00:04:54,370 And all of a sudden, we're on date number two. 69 00:04:58,214 --> 00:04:59,374 Ready. 70 00:05:05,388 --> 00:05:06,582 No way. 71 00:05:08,291 --> 00:05:11,351 We're going back in there. You have to smile. 72 00:05:11,661 --> 00:05:15,256 In case you didn't go to high school, hitting is a good thing. 73 00:05:15,398 --> 00:05:17,923 So how does it happen, great love? 74 00:05:18,067 --> 00:05:19,091 Are you okay? 75 00:05:19,235 --> 00:05:20,862 - Nobody knows. - I'm good. 76 00:05:20,970 --> 00:05:24,303 Let me get a Bomb Pop and a Screwball for the lady. 77 00:05:24,440 --> 00:05:28,706 But what I can tell you, is that it happens in the blink of an eye. 78 00:05:31,080 --> 00:05:33,571 One moment, you're enjoying your life. 79 00:05:33,750 --> 00:05:37,880 And the next, you're wondering how you ever lived without them. 80 00:05:39,122 --> 00:05:41,215 Three dates is all I need. 81 00:05:41,825 --> 00:05:45,784 Three dates, and I'll get you here, to the high-stakes medal round... 82 00:05:45,929 --> 00:05:48,921 where eight out of 10 women believe that the first kiss... 83 00:05:49,032 --> 00:05:52,900 will tell them everything they need to know about the relationship. 84 00:06:22,398 --> 00:06:24,798 After that, you're on your own. 85 00:06:25,468 --> 00:06:27,333 But always remember... 86 00:06:27,670 --> 00:06:30,662 life is not the amount of breaths you take. 87 00:06:32,342 --> 00:06:35,368 It's the moments that take your breath away. 88 00:06:39,716 --> 00:06:42,048 Did I call it or did I call it? 89 00:06:42,252 --> 00:06:44,345 I mean, what did I say, six months? 90 00:06:44,487 --> 00:06:46,216 And when was her first date? 91 00:06:46,356 --> 00:06:49,348 So five-and-a-half? God, I hate it when I'm right. 92 00:06:49,492 --> 00:06:53,121 What is it about guys that makes them want to screw anything that walks... 93 00:06:53,229 --> 00:06:56,562 even when they're going out with someone as awesome as Allegra Cole? 94 00:06:56,699 --> 00:06:59,463 She's only the most fabulous thing walking around New York. 95 00:06:59,569 --> 00:07:00,627 Thanks, Young. 96 00:07:00,737 --> 00:07:03,035 Are you kidding? Of course I'm gonna run it. 97 00:07:03,206 --> 00:07:06,573 Why should she waste her heart on some Swedish aristo-brat? 98 00:07:06,709 --> 00:07:08,677 Even if he is gorgeous. 99 00:07:09,045 --> 00:07:10,512 If he's stupid enough to cheat... 100 00:07:10,613 --> 00:07:13,047 the world should know he's dumb enough to get caught. 101 00:07:13,182 --> 00:07:15,582 Exactly. I'm in the elevator. See you in a minute. 102 00:07:15,718 --> 00:07:17,845 Good morning, how are you? 103 00:07:18,187 --> 00:07:20,018 Bitter, party of one. 104 00:07:21,391 --> 00:07:22,653 You should try it sometime. 105 00:07:22,759 --> 00:07:26,024 Barbados by myself? I wouldn't last five minutes. 106 00:07:26,129 --> 00:07:27,926 It was just what the doctor ordered. 107 00:07:28,064 --> 00:07:31,522 I slept in, I did my yoga, I read a couple of books... 108 00:07:31,634 --> 00:07:33,329 flirted with my scuba instructor. 109 00:07:33,436 --> 00:07:36,530 - And apparently never left the office. - I know, isn't that great? 110 00:07:36,639 --> 00:07:38,766 You should've taken someone with you. 111 00:07:38,908 --> 00:07:41,035 Who am I gonna take with me? 112 00:07:41,144 --> 00:07:43,408 This is where a boyfriend comes in handy. 113 00:07:43,546 --> 00:07:48,006 - I don't have time for a boyfriend. - You said that two years ago. 114 00:07:48,117 --> 00:07:51,086 Yes, and it's as true today as it was then. 115 00:07:51,487 --> 00:07:53,114 I thought you were on vacation. 116 00:07:53,256 --> 00:07:56,589 See if these are in focus and have them in my desk in an hour. 117 00:07:56,726 --> 00:08:01,095 Besides, relationships are for people waiting for something better to come along. 118 00:08:01,230 --> 00:08:03,528 Spoken like a true cynic. 119 00:08:03,900 --> 00:08:05,765 I'm not a cynic. I'm a realist. 120 00:08:05,902 --> 00:08:10,362 You are a realist masquerading as a cynic who is secretly an optimist. 121 00:08:10,473 --> 00:08:13,101 What are you doing here? What is she doing here? 122 00:08:13,242 --> 00:08:14,766 She works here, remember? 123 00:08:14,911 --> 00:08:17,539 No, she doesn't. Not for another four days. 124 00:08:17,647 --> 00:08:19,444 - This couldn't wait. - It could. 125 00:08:19,582 --> 00:08:21,447 What are you doing? Go back to the beach. 126 00:08:21,584 --> 00:08:24,417 - I don't want you here. - No, really, you do. 127 00:08:24,554 --> 00:08:27,546 You are becoming a sick, workaholic lunatic... 128 00:08:27,657 --> 00:08:29,352 and this is exactly... 129 00:08:29,459 --> 00:08:33,623 the kind of nervous, overwrought behavior that leads to... 130 00:08:33,763 --> 00:08:36,596 Pictures of Sebby with a busty brunette. 131 00:08:36,899 --> 00:08:39,629 A very big raise. 132 00:08:39,836 --> 00:08:43,237 Jesus. You could find dirt in a snowstorm. 133 00:08:43,840 --> 00:08:45,273 Comes with the job. 134 00:08:45,408 --> 00:08:50,072 You know, kiddo, there is more to life than watching other people live it. 135 00:08:50,646 --> 00:08:52,978 Can I help he was cheating on my beach? 136 00:08:53,116 --> 00:08:55,641 I think it's great that you're so good at your job. 137 00:08:55,785 --> 00:08:58,413 I'm just a little worried as to why. 138 00:08:59,856 --> 00:09:01,881 Let me worry about that. 139 00:09:02,258 --> 00:09:05,250 Okay. I want that column on my desk by lunch. 140 00:09:05,361 --> 00:09:06,726 So you'll pay for my hotel? 141 00:09:06,829 --> 00:09:10,265 For you to sip mai tais? I don't think so. Get out. 142 00:09:22,779 --> 00:09:24,178 - Come on. - What? 143 00:09:24,313 --> 00:09:25,746 - That's good, right? - No. 144 00:09:25,848 --> 00:09:27,440 No, it was in and it freaked out. 145 00:09:27,550 --> 00:09:31,577 You know what your problem is, Hitch? You're all about the short game. 146 00:09:33,189 --> 00:09:36,488 You pick your shots based on what you see first... 147 00:09:36,893 --> 00:09:40,158 not what's necessarily best for you... 148 00:09:41,330 --> 00:09:42,957 in the long run. 149 00:09:43,733 --> 00:09:48,102 All of us are not married to the woman of our dreams and about to have a baby. 150 00:09:48,204 --> 00:09:51,765 You know, I'm very happy for you. Just not meant for everybody. 151 00:09:51,874 --> 00:09:54,809 So please just leave me to my hot, sweaty... 152 00:09:54,911 --> 00:09:58,142 totally varied, wildly experimental short game. 153 00:09:59,048 --> 00:10:02,347 - I was talking about pool, but whatever. - Yeah, okay. 154 00:10:02,485 --> 00:10:05,215 Honestly, I just hope one day you're able to experience... 155 00:10:05,354 --> 00:10:09,051 the unconditional love, trust, and openness... 156 00:10:09,192 --> 00:10:11,057 that I share with Grace every single day. 157 00:10:11,194 --> 00:10:14,823 - Is this really barroom talk? - You need to listen to me. I'm serious. 158 00:10:14,931 --> 00:10:17,627 Because when you get to a place with a woman like that... 159 00:10:17,733 --> 00:10:19,564 it's so beyond anything physical that... 160 00:10:19,702 --> 00:10:22,364 when I think back to when I used to run around with you... 161 00:10:22,505 --> 00:10:25,474 and chase all these really gorgeous but shallow women... 162 00:10:25,608 --> 00:10:30,545 I don't know, it's kind of ridiculous and vaguely pathetic. 163 00:10:37,687 --> 00:10:40,713 Yeah, I see what you mean. That's pathetic. 164 00:10:45,194 --> 00:10:46,559 So, how'd you meet him? 165 00:10:46,696 --> 00:10:49,597 I was in La Perla just buying some weekend thongs. 166 00:10:49,732 --> 00:10:52,257 - And he was doing likewise? - No. 167 00:10:52,735 --> 00:10:55,670 Actually, he said he was buying something for his mom. 168 00:10:55,771 --> 00:10:57,068 His mom? 169 00:10:57,373 --> 00:11:00,035 Casey, who buys high-priced lingerie for their mother? 170 00:11:00,143 --> 00:11:02,441 Well, maybe he was looking for a robe. 171 00:11:02,778 --> 00:11:07,112 Casey, he was hitting on you while he was buying lingerie for another woman. 172 00:11:08,151 --> 00:11:11,780 - I prefer the mother story. - I know you do, but that's not the point. 173 00:11:11,921 --> 00:11:15,186 No, the point is I'm not gonna start out assuming the guy's a liar. 174 00:11:15,291 --> 00:11:17,919 - Why not? - Because that's how you wind up... 175 00:11:19,228 --> 00:11:21,253 Like me? Is that what you were gonna say? 176 00:11:21,397 --> 00:11:23,865 No. I was gonna say, "Like you." 177 00:11:24,267 --> 00:11:26,201 - What's his name? - Why? 178 00:11:26,636 --> 00:11:29,070 - I'm gonna Google him. - No. Google your own guy. 179 00:11:29,172 --> 00:11:31,140 Let's just see if his mother's still alive. 180 00:11:31,274 --> 00:11:34,209 - So when is Grace due again? - Soon. 181 00:11:34,644 --> 00:11:37,204 - You excited? - What'd you say? 182 00:11:37,513 --> 00:11:40,107 Do you want me to go get them and bring them over here? 183 00:11:40,249 --> 00:11:41,409 No, don't do that. 184 00:11:41,517 --> 00:11:45,544 Are you saying you don't wanna talk to them because you can't go home with them? 185 00:11:45,655 --> 00:11:47,885 I'm just trying to keep my head above water. 186 00:11:47,990 --> 00:11:50,720 - Have you heard of the Date Doctor? - Urban myth. 187 00:11:50,826 --> 00:11:52,088 - Really? - Absolutely. 188 00:11:52,195 --> 00:11:53,822 I was hoping he also helped women. 189 00:11:53,963 --> 00:11:56,989 Casey, you're not sick. You're single. 190 00:11:57,266 --> 00:11:59,598 You just have to relax and enjoy the ride. 191 00:11:59,702 --> 00:12:01,932 I haven't been ridden in months. 192 00:12:05,007 --> 00:12:09,967 On that happy note, I'm gonna go see if anybody interesting came in tonight. 193 00:12:10,112 --> 00:12:12,307 - You mean, besides me. - Right. 194 00:12:12,949 --> 00:12:13,938 Bye. 195 00:12:14,050 --> 00:12:16,450 I'll go get those girls, bring them over here... 196 00:12:16,552 --> 00:12:18,782 and we'll have a conversation like human beings. 197 00:12:18,888 --> 00:12:22,619 Then you're gonna home, and I'll take them back to my apartment. 198 00:12:22,725 --> 00:12:27,185 Well, that sounds like fun for me. But you might want to get in line, pal. 199 00:12:27,330 --> 00:12:30,197 - Hey, girl. - Hey, how are you? 200 00:12:31,968 --> 00:12:36,166 Hey, baby, can I get a couple Coronas at the pool table, please? Thanks. 201 00:12:36,305 --> 00:12:37,670 Excuse me. 202 00:12:40,343 --> 00:12:42,174 Lime wedges in the bottle's fine. 203 00:12:42,311 --> 00:12:44,677 Hey, asshole, I don't work here. 204 00:12:48,985 --> 00:12:53,922 I'm sorry. The paramedics will have to come to get my foot out of my mouth, sweetheart. 205 00:12:54,023 --> 00:12:56,321 Just don't let it happen again. 206 00:12:56,459 --> 00:12:58,984 - I knew you didn't work here. - You did? 207 00:12:59,128 --> 00:13:02,586 How else was I supposed to get you away from all those guys? 208 00:13:03,299 --> 00:13:05,597 Why would you want to do that? 209 00:13:06,068 --> 00:13:09,504 Some guys naturally develop a comfort with the opposite sex. 210 00:13:09,705 --> 00:13:13,539 They like women, women like them. Everything flows naturally. 211 00:13:14,377 --> 00:13:17,938 Back in college, I was just not one of them. 212 00:13:22,385 --> 00:13:25,320 I seemed to lack the basic understanding... 213 00:13:25,421 --> 00:13:27,981 that my peers just intuitively grasped. 214 00:13:28,090 --> 00:13:32,652 But like any late bloomer, I was eager to make up for lost time. 215 00:13:35,531 --> 00:13:38,625 Her name was Cressida Baylor. 216 00:13:39,602 --> 00:13:42,730 Can you tell me where the registration building is? 217 00:13:46,242 --> 00:13:48,676 And my life would never be the same. 218 00:13:48,778 --> 00:13:51,246 - I'm Alex. - Cressida. 219 00:13:54,617 --> 00:13:56,983 What we had was beautiful. 220 00:14:02,792 --> 00:14:04,191 I love you. 221 00:14:06,962 --> 00:14:08,725 I love you so much. 222 00:14:09,765 --> 00:14:11,596 I love you, too, Alex. 223 00:14:17,973 --> 00:14:21,033 I know you don't love me as much as I love you. 224 00:14:21,143 --> 00:14:25,011 But that's okay. I'm just glad you love me at all. 225 00:14:25,114 --> 00:14:28,447 In retrospect, I guess I may have come on a little strong. 226 00:14:32,655 --> 00:14:35,055 But the experience taught me a lot. 227 00:14:35,157 --> 00:14:36,454 Cressida! 228 00:14:40,329 --> 00:14:42,024 What are you doing? 229 00:14:42,131 --> 00:14:43,530 I'm sorry, Alex. 230 00:14:43,632 --> 00:14:48,035 But I love you. What did I do wrong? Just tell me what I did wrong. 231 00:14:48,237 --> 00:14:50,296 You're doing it right now. 232 00:14:51,307 --> 00:14:52,934 Alex, I'm sorry. 233 00:14:56,512 --> 00:15:00,710 And it's an education I feel obliged to pass on to my fellow men. 234 00:15:04,620 --> 00:15:08,750 Because with no guile and no game, there's no girl. 235 00:15:10,159 --> 00:15:11,786 If ever a man born was without game... 236 00:15:13,362 --> 00:15:15,421 it was Albert Brennaman. 237 00:15:40,956 --> 00:15:45,757 My business is 100% referral and, thus far, untraceable. 238 00:15:45,861 --> 00:15:47,692 And if there's one thing I've learned... 239 00:15:47,830 --> 00:15:51,527 when you orchestrate, coordinate, and otherwise mess with fate... 240 00:15:51,667 --> 00:15:54,135 it's best to fly under the radar. 241 00:16:32,208 --> 00:16:34,574 I hope she's single 'cause I don't do break-ups. 242 00:16:34,710 --> 00:16:36,678 Hi. Thank you for seeing me. 243 00:16:36,779 --> 00:16:40,237 Yeah, no. I mean, she just got out of a relationship. 244 00:16:40,716 --> 00:16:43,742 Is that a problem? Because if it is, that's fine. 245 00:16:43,886 --> 00:16:46,184 I'm a little uncomfortable with this anyway. 246 00:16:46,288 --> 00:16:50,520 Definitely been hurt a lot. I had a lot of bad experiences. 247 00:16:50,626 --> 00:16:54,084 Some good ones. But definitely a lot of bad ones. 248 00:16:54,797 --> 00:16:58,893 I'm desperate, basically. I mean, not in general, you understand? 249 00:16:59,034 --> 00:17:02,731 You know, not just for anybody. But, man, for her... Yeah. 250 00:17:03,205 --> 00:17:05,571 Why don't you tell me about her? 251 00:17:06,709 --> 00:17:08,836 Let's see, what can I say? 252 00:17:09,144 --> 00:17:12,841 My company handles her finances. I'm her tax consultant. 253 00:17:13,382 --> 00:17:16,681 Well, I'm one of them. I'm the junior man on the account. 254 00:17:16,785 --> 00:17:19,219 - So does she know you're interested? - No. 255 00:17:23,392 --> 00:17:24,552 Alive? 256 00:17:25,628 --> 00:17:27,095 I lent her my pen once. 257 00:17:27,596 --> 00:17:29,894 Shoot. Does anyone have a pen? 258 00:17:30,032 --> 00:17:33,524 - Here, take mine. - Albert, you're crushing my arm. 259 00:17:33,636 --> 00:17:36,161 Sorry about that. Here you go, Allegra. 260 00:17:39,375 --> 00:17:42,071 Allegra? As in Allegra Cole? 261 00:17:42,211 --> 00:17:44,941 Yeah, I realize that I'm not her usual type. 262 00:17:45,080 --> 00:17:48,880 Well, her last boyfriend owned Sweden or something. 263 00:17:48,984 --> 00:17:50,713 And that guy was a bum. 264 00:17:50,819 --> 00:17:53,879 He didn't seem like a very nice person to me. 265 00:17:54,924 --> 00:17:56,949 You swing for the fence. 266 00:17:57,126 --> 00:18:00,527 Look, you don't think I tried talking myself out of this? 267 00:18:00,629 --> 00:18:04,463 I mean, you don't think I know how ridiculous this is? I know, okay? 268 00:18:04,600 --> 00:18:08,036 I just thought that maybe with your help... 269 00:18:10,105 --> 00:18:14,098 You know what? I'm really sorry I wasted your time. 270 00:18:25,521 --> 00:18:27,580 Hold on a second, Albert. 271 00:18:30,125 --> 00:18:34,221 You know what it's like getting up every morning feeling hopeless? 272 00:18:34,430 --> 00:18:37,922 Feeling like the love of your life is waking up with the wrong man? 273 00:18:38,033 --> 00:18:42,936 But at the same time, hoping that she still finds happiness... 274 00:18:43,439 --> 00:18:46,272 even if it's never gonna be with you? 275 00:18:47,643 --> 00:18:50,441 You are flat-out... 276 00:18:51,313 --> 00:18:54,476 out of your mind. You know that? 277 00:18:58,387 --> 00:18:59,820 That's good. 278 00:19:00,956 --> 00:19:02,116 It is? 279 00:19:03,058 --> 00:19:05,424 You ever heard of Michelangelo? 280 00:19:05,527 --> 00:19:07,757 Heard of the Sistine Chapel? 281 00:19:09,298 --> 00:19:10,765 Michelangelo. 282 00:19:11,700 --> 00:19:13,258 Sistine Chapel. 283 00:19:13,502 --> 00:19:15,265 You saying you can do this? 284 00:19:15,371 --> 00:19:18,932 My name is Alex Hitchens. Let's go paint that ceiling. 285 00:19:48,437 --> 00:19:49,904 Take it easy. 286 00:19:51,273 --> 00:19:52,706 Oh, my God! 287 00:20:38,587 --> 00:20:41,112 Well, it looks like I'm still rich. 288 00:20:44,760 --> 00:20:49,094 But what I would really like, and what I was wondering is... 289 00:20:50,399 --> 00:20:54,460 if I could have $500,000 to invest on my own. 290 00:20:56,472 --> 00:21:00,568 And what were you thinking of investing in, Allegra? 291 00:21:02,077 --> 00:21:06,707 Well, it's something that I really have a passion for. 292 00:21:12,788 --> 00:21:15,120 Daydreams are for private time. 293 00:21:15,457 --> 00:21:17,721 When you're in the room, be in the room. 294 00:21:17,826 --> 00:21:21,455 Concentrate. Focus. Women respond when you respond to them. 295 00:21:21,663 --> 00:21:24,496 My friend Maggie is a talented designer. 296 00:21:24,933 --> 00:21:29,267 I've seen the business plan and the samples look fantastic. 297 00:21:30,305 --> 00:21:34,401 And I would really like to get involved. 298 00:21:39,014 --> 00:21:40,675 I'll tell you what. 299 00:21:40,816 --> 00:21:45,480 Let us come up with a range of investments that we think you might be interested in... 300 00:21:45,621 --> 00:21:49,216 and next month, we'll run the whole lot of them by you. 301 00:21:52,327 --> 00:21:53,316 Okay. 302 00:21:53,462 --> 00:21:55,953 Fine. Thank you. All right, gentlemen. 303 00:21:56,498 --> 00:21:59,092 Let's go over this one more time. What is the objective? 304 00:21:59,201 --> 00:22:00,634 Shock and awe. 305 00:22:00,769 --> 00:22:03,636 That was shockingly awful. What is the objective? 306 00:22:03,772 --> 00:22:04,932 Shock and awe. 307 00:22:05,040 --> 00:22:07,406 What is the objective? 308 00:22:08,210 --> 00:22:11,008 - Excuse me, sir. - Yes, Albert? 309 00:22:18,620 --> 00:22:21,919 I don't really agree with that. 310 00:22:22,024 --> 00:22:24,515 You don't really agree with what? 311 00:22:31,200 --> 00:22:34,601 I think if you want to invest $500,000 in your friend's business... 312 00:22:34,703 --> 00:22:36,193 that's exactly what you should do. 313 00:22:36,338 --> 00:22:39,136 You don't need us to tell you what to do. 314 00:22:39,241 --> 00:22:42,301 We're a board of advisers, not your kindergarten teachers. 315 00:22:42,411 --> 00:22:44,641 If you want to be taken seriously as an adult... 316 00:22:44,746 --> 00:22:47,112 then start taking yourself seriously as an adult... 317 00:22:47,216 --> 00:22:50,185 instead of asking for permission to invest your own money... 318 00:22:50,319 --> 00:22:53,015 from a boardroom full of your daddy's golf buddies. 319 00:22:53,155 --> 00:22:54,884 - That's quite enough! - I'm not finished. 320 00:22:55,023 --> 00:22:59,221 I'd like to see anybody in this room handle the attention and publicity... 321 00:22:59,361 --> 00:23:03,024 that she's had to deal with her whole life, with half her class. 322 00:23:05,334 --> 00:23:09,464 We should be taking advice from you, Miss Cole. Not the other way around. 323 00:23:09,571 --> 00:23:12,335 - Sit down... - No! You know what? I quit! 324 00:23:22,718 --> 00:23:24,083 Oh, my God. 325 00:23:34,229 --> 00:23:36,925 Just breathe. How'd it go? 326 00:23:37,065 --> 00:23:40,592 I yelled at her. I screamed at my boss! I quit my job! 327 00:23:41,136 --> 00:23:42,899 - What? - You said... 328 00:23:43,272 --> 00:23:45,832 - I gotta go back. - No, I didn't tell you to quit. 329 00:23:45,941 --> 00:23:47,704 Relax. Okay, listen, we're fine. 330 00:23:47,809 --> 00:23:50,277 - Would you let me go? - Albert, no! 331 00:23:51,647 --> 00:23:54,514 Just relax! Okay? 332 00:23:55,050 --> 00:23:58,417 - Just let it marinate for a second. Trust me. - No! 333 00:24:08,730 --> 00:24:10,755 Relax. 334 00:24:10,899 --> 00:24:13,026 - It's Allegra Cole. - Answer it. 335 00:24:13,135 --> 00:24:16,696 - Could I speak to you a second? - Answer the door, Albert. 336 00:24:21,143 --> 00:24:22,405 Yes. Hi. 337 00:24:23,178 --> 00:24:24,577 What's up? 338 00:24:24,913 --> 00:24:26,813 Listen, Albert, right? 339 00:24:27,649 --> 00:24:32,586 - People don't usually talk to me like that. - Close your mouth, man. 340 00:24:32,688 --> 00:24:35,282 Let me rephrase that. 341 00:24:35,424 --> 00:24:38,257 People never talk to me like that. 342 00:24:39,861 --> 00:24:41,055 Stand up. 343 00:24:41,163 --> 00:24:43,927 I guess it's kind of scary for them. 344 00:24:44,766 --> 00:24:48,634 But that's why I really appreciate what you did in there. 345 00:24:50,038 --> 00:24:51,938 But I was wondering... 346 00:24:52,040 --> 00:24:56,272 do you think that you and I could get together sometime this week? 347 00:24:58,347 --> 00:25:01,009 You know, to go over things. 348 00:25:01,984 --> 00:25:03,747 Financial things. 349 00:25:03,852 --> 00:25:07,982 I'd like to see the areas where I can afford to take some risks. 350 00:25:08,123 --> 00:25:10,455 - Check your schedule. - I'll check my schedule. 351 00:25:10,559 --> 00:25:13,995 Great. Let me give you my number. Do you have a pen? 352 00:25:14,229 --> 00:25:16,322 I don't think I have one. 353 00:25:21,236 --> 00:25:22,999 - Yes, I do. - Great. 354 00:25:35,217 --> 00:25:37,014 And call me Allegra. 355 00:25:39,521 --> 00:25:42,319 - You're done. - Goodbye. 356 00:25:46,061 --> 00:25:47,358 Good job. 357 00:25:50,232 --> 00:25:51,290 Oh, damn. 358 00:26:12,754 --> 00:26:17,157 She's some kind of newspaper columnist. Comes in here once in a while. Great tipper. 359 00:26:17,259 --> 00:26:18,317 What's her drink? 360 00:26:18,427 --> 00:26:21,726 Usually beer. Tonight, Grey Goose martini, dirty. 361 00:26:32,040 --> 00:26:33,064 Hi. 362 00:26:35,010 --> 00:26:36,705 I noticed your glass was getting low... 363 00:26:36,845 --> 00:26:39,712 so I took the liberty of bringing you another apple martini. 364 00:26:39,848 --> 00:26:40,837 Thank you. 365 00:26:40,949 --> 00:26:44,976 And I couldn't help but notice you look a lot like my next girlfriend. 366 00:26:45,554 --> 00:26:48,045 - What's your name? - They call me Chip. 367 00:26:48,190 --> 00:26:50,351 You can't get them to stop? 368 00:26:51,526 --> 00:26:52,720 That was funny. 369 00:26:52,861 --> 00:26:56,353 Listen, I understand the courage it takes to walk across a room... 370 00:26:56,465 --> 00:26:58,990 and try to generate a relationship out of thin air. 371 00:26:59,101 --> 00:27:02,901 - So don't take the following personally. - You have fantastic eyes. 372 00:27:04,306 --> 00:27:06,240 Thanks. Try to listen. 373 00:27:06,374 --> 00:27:10,333 This is no reflection on you. I'm just not interested. 374 00:27:10,645 --> 00:27:13,113 But thank you for the compliment of coming over. 375 00:27:13,248 --> 00:27:16,115 You're welcome. So do you like Cuban food? 376 00:27:16,885 --> 00:27:20,787 Chip, seriously, that was not code for, "I wish you'd try harder." 377 00:27:20,922 --> 00:27:25,052 Are you always so shut-down and afraid that the right man might make you... 378 00:27:25,160 --> 00:27:27,253 Feel like a natural woman? 379 00:27:28,063 --> 00:27:31,260 Sorry I'm late, honey. I couldn't get a cab. How was the meeting? 380 00:27:31,399 --> 00:27:35,062 Well, there was a beginning, a middle, and an end. 381 00:27:35,504 --> 00:27:37,472 Nice to meet you, Chip. 382 00:27:42,777 --> 00:27:44,108 You, too. 383 00:27:47,182 --> 00:27:49,810 On the one hand, it is very difficult for a man... 384 00:27:49,951 --> 00:27:52,647 to even speak to someone who looks like you. 385 00:27:52,787 --> 00:27:55,984 But on the other hand, should that be your problem? 386 00:27:56,124 --> 00:27:58,615 So life's kind of hard all around. 387 00:27:59,261 --> 00:28:01,593 Not if you pay attention. 388 00:28:03,431 --> 00:28:05,399 You're sending all the right signals: 389 00:28:05,500 --> 00:28:08,958 no earrings, heels under two inches, your hair is pulled back... 390 00:28:09,104 --> 00:28:12,733 wearing reading glasses with no book, drinking a Grey Goose martini... 391 00:28:12,841 --> 00:28:16,106 which means you had a hell of a week and a beer just wouldn't do it. 392 00:28:16,211 --> 00:28:17,576 If that wasn't clear enough... 393 00:28:17,679 --> 00:28:21,809 there's always the "fuck off" that you have stamped on your forehead. 394 00:28:21,950 --> 00:28:26,250 Who'd believe there's a man out there that can sit by a woman he doesn't know... 395 00:28:26,354 --> 00:28:30,450 and genuinely be interested in who she is, what she does, without his own agenda? 396 00:28:30,559 --> 00:28:33,494 I wouldn't even know what that would look like. 397 00:28:33,662 --> 00:28:35,653 So what would a guy like that say? 398 00:28:35,797 --> 00:28:39,198 He'd say, "My name is Alex Hitchens and I'm a consultant." 399 00:28:39,334 --> 00:28:41,165 But she wouldn't be interested in that... 400 00:28:41,303 --> 00:28:43,771 because she'd be counting the seconds until he left. 401 00:28:43,872 --> 00:28:46,363 Thinking he was like every other guy. 402 00:28:46,508 --> 00:28:49,705 Which, life experience has taught her, is a virtual certainty. 403 00:28:49,844 --> 00:28:52,642 But then he'd ask her name and what she did for a living... 404 00:28:52,747 --> 00:28:54,942 and she might blow him off. 405 00:28:55,150 --> 00:28:56,947 Or she might say... 406 00:29:01,489 --> 00:29:05,391 I'm Sara Melas. I run the gossip column at the Standard. 407 00:29:05,527 --> 00:29:08,496 And then he'd ask all these penetrating questions about her... 408 00:29:08,597 --> 00:29:11,828 because he was sincerely, if atypically, interested. 409 00:29:11,933 --> 00:29:12,991 No. 410 00:29:13,368 --> 00:29:15,802 - No? - He'd be interested. 411 00:29:17,205 --> 00:29:19,366 But he'd see that there was no way... 412 00:29:19,507 --> 00:29:23,307 he could possibly make her realize that he was for real. 413 00:29:23,411 --> 00:29:28,542 Well, he could be funny and charming and refreshingly original. 414 00:29:29,384 --> 00:29:30,851 Wouldn't help. 415 00:29:30,952 --> 00:29:34,080 - Don't you hate it when that happens? - Not really. 416 00:29:34,222 --> 00:29:37,919 They'd both probably go on to lead the lives they were headed toward. 417 00:29:38,059 --> 00:29:40,857 My guess is they'd do just fine. 418 00:29:42,964 --> 00:29:46,024 It's a pleasure to have met you, Sara Melas. 419 00:29:51,072 --> 00:29:54,530 Grey Goose martini from the gentleman who just left. 420 00:29:59,914 --> 00:30:01,506 Is that for me? 421 00:30:04,319 --> 00:30:05,445 What? 422 00:30:20,735 --> 00:30:22,965 Vance Munson. Sorry I'm late. 423 00:30:23,972 --> 00:30:26,873 No, not a problem. 424 00:30:28,109 --> 00:30:29,906 Wow, you're the... 425 00:30:30,845 --> 00:30:34,576 - Can I get you something to drink, Mr... - No, I'm fine, thank you. 426 00:30:34,683 --> 00:30:36,548 So, tell me about her. 427 00:30:39,020 --> 00:30:40,715 Have you ever met someone... 428 00:30:40,822 --> 00:30:43,620 and you knew right away she was gonna be important to you? 429 00:30:43,758 --> 00:30:47,159 Not just because of her looks, but that X factor. 430 00:30:48,196 --> 00:30:49,720 How'd you meet her? 431 00:30:49,831 --> 00:30:53,232 Actually, I was in a shop buying pajamas for my mom. 432 00:30:53,335 --> 00:30:55,235 And by that, of course, you mean... 433 00:30:55,337 --> 00:30:58,272 you were buying lingerie for another woman. 434 00:30:59,641 --> 00:31:03,270 Yes. You can't help where you meet somebody. 435 00:31:03,978 --> 00:31:06,503 And the lingerie is for a woman I'm no longer seeing. 436 00:31:06,648 --> 00:31:09,515 But anyway, the girl I met, the one I was talking about... 437 00:31:09,651 --> 00:31:12,347 she's so sweet, funny, Southern. 438 00:31:12,487 --> 00:31:15,513 She gives me her number. Now she won't return my phone calls. 439 00:31:15,657 --> 00:31:19,320 I don't know what it is about her. I just can't get her out of my mind. 440 00:31:19,461 --> 00:31:23,488 You know, food has lost its taste. Colors, they seem dull. 441 00:31:23,631 --> 00:31:27,362 Things that used to matter... I don't know, they just no longer do. 442 00:31:27,502 --> 00:31:30,471 I think things aren't gonna snap back unless I... 443 00:31:32,374 --> 00:31:34,103 Unless I bang her. 444 00:31:36,311 --> 00:31:37,676 Excuse me? 445 00:31:39,414 --> 00:31:42,872 You know, bang her. Clear my head. Get in, get off, get out. 446 00:31:45,653 --> 00:31:48,952 I think you may have misunderstood what I do exactly. 447 00:31:49,057 --> 00:31:51,787 No, I was told you help guys get in there. 448 00:31:51,893 --> 00:31:53,827 Right. But, see, here's the thing. 449 00:31:53,928 --> 00:31:57,329 My clients actually like women. 450 00:32:00,068 --> 00:32:02,502 Hit it and quit it is not my thing. 451 00:32:02,604 --> 00:32:06,540 Let me make one thing clear to you, rabbi. I need professional help. 452 00:32:06,674 --> 00:32:09,472 Well, that is for damn certain. 453 00:32:09,911 --> 00:32:14,473 And I'm glad you can admit it because generally that's the hardest part. 454 00:32:17,419 --> 00:32:20,547 You see what I'm doing? This is what I'm about. 455 00:32:21,456 --> 00:32:23,720 Power suit, power tie, power steering. 456 00:32:23,858 --> 00:32:27,885 People can wince, cry, beg, but eventually they do what I want. 457 00:32:29,798 --> 00:32:31,891 So that's, like, a metaphor. 458 00:32:34,469 --> 00:32:37,336 Well, I'm more of a literal kind of guy. 459 00:32:37,439 --> 00:32:39,236 So when I do this... 460 00:32:41,276 --> 00:32:45,542 this is more like me saying that I will literally break your shit off... 461 00:32:45,647 --> 00:32:48,514 if you ever touch me again. Okay, pumpkin? 462 00:32:48,616 --> 00:32:49,844 Got it. 463 00:32:57,892 --> 00:32:59,860 No. 464 00:32:59,961 --> 00:33:04,227 Pablo, I can't just mention your restaurant. Somebody has to eat there. 465 00:33:04,332 --> 00:33:07,267 No, somebody famous. You know that. 466 00:33:07,569 --> 00:33:09,196 - Sara Melas? - No. 467 00:33:10,104 --> 00:33:11,696 Okay. Bye. 468 00:33:13,775 --> 00:33:15,606 I need your signature. 469 00:33:29,824 --> 00:33:34,488 I hate it when a guy calls a girl who did not give him her number. 470 00:33:34,629 --> 00:33:37,063 So this is me not calling. Over. 471 00:33:37,165 --> 00:33:40,134 Yes, you're right. This is much less invasive. 472 00:33:40,268 --> 00:33:43,135 I've been thinking about that sign on your forehead. 473 00:33:43,271 --> 00:33:47,264 And I was wondering if you'd mind taking it down for dinner Friday night. Over. 474 00:33:47,709 --> 00:33:51,008 I can't. I have a couple of parties I have to hit. 475 00:33:51,679 --> 00:33:53,340 Gossip never sleeps. 476 00:33:53,848 --> 00:33:55,839 Not till about 4:00 a.m. 477 00:33:56,351 --> 00:33:57,648 Saturday. 478 00:34:00,655 --> 00:34:02,145 I have a date. 479 00:34:03,691 --> 00:34:06,592 Do you know the definition of "perseverance," Miss Melas? 480 00:34:06,694 --> 00:34:08,787 An excuse to be obnoxious? 481 00:34:08,963 --> 00:34:10,954 Continuing in a course of action... 482 00:34:11,065 --> 00:34:15,331 without regard to discouragement, opposition or previous failure. Over. 483 00:34:15,703 --> 00:34:17,796 Okay, Webster, how do I get rid of you? 484 00:34:17,906 --> 00:34:20,875 Breakfast, Sunday. And you can barely even call that a date. 485 00:34:21,009 --> 00:34:24,877 You do that with out-of-town relatives that you don't even like. Over. 486 00:34:28,883 --> 00:34:30,145 Come on. 487 00:34:32,654 --> 00:34:35,020 Okay, I guess I could do Sunday. 488 00:34:35,590 --> 00:34:37,956 You forgot to say "over." Over. 489 00:34:38,426 --> 00:34:41,486 This conversation's over as soon as you tell me when and where. 490 00:34:41,596 --> 00:34:44,565 7:00 a.m., North Cove Marina. Over and out. 491 00:34:45,033 --> 00:34:48,901 7:00 a.m.? Are you crazy? I don't do 7:00 a.m. 492 00:34:50,872 --> 00:34:52,237 - Hello? - Sign here. 493 00:34:52,674 --> 00:34:54,301 - What? - You said Sunday, right? 494 00:34:54,409 --> 00:34:55,535 Yeah. 495 00:34:58,513 --> 00:35:00,981 What if I would have said Friday? 496 00:35:01,082 --> 00:35:02,310 Sunday. 497 00:35:06,521 --> 00:35:09,251 So I guess you're not going to church. 498 00:35:22,070 --> 00:35:24,766 Do you really expect me to wear this? 499 00:35:26,307 --> 00:35:28,832 lt'll be awful cold out there without it. 500 00:35:28,943 --> 00:35:32,071 - Good morning. - "Good" would have been at 10:00. 501 00:35:36,484 --> 00:35:38,782 You're a lot taller than I remember. 502 00:35:38,920 --> 00:35:40,854 You ever ride one of these? 503 00:35:40,955 --> 00:35:42,616 Not on the Hudson. 504 00:35:42,757 --> 00:35:45,749 So, what do you wanna do? Race me around the Statue of Liberty? 505 00:35:45,893 --> 00:35:47,520 If there's time. 506 00:35:47,962 --> 00:35:50,590 - But you might need these. - All right. 507 00:35:50,732 --> 00:35:52,097 - Bam. - Wow. 508 00:35:53,301 --> 00:35:54,791 How do I look? 509 00:35:56,070 --> 00:35:57,367 Fabulous. 510 00:35:59,173 --> 00:36:00,902 All right, I give. 511 00:36:01,743 --> 00:36:03,370 Where do I change? 512 00:36:04,345 --> 00:36:08,941 So we'll go past the wall, then take a left. It's pretty much a straight shot from there. 513 00:36:09,083 --> 00:36:12,314 - Straight shot to where? - That's for me to know and you to find out. 514 00:36:12,453 --> 00:36:14,114 What you do with these babies is... 515 00:36:14,255 --> 00:36:17,452 Yeah, what I do with this baby is kick your ass. 516 00:37:28,629 --> 00:37:32,030 - What happened? You change your mind? - It just died. 517 00:37:33,201 --> 00:37:34,828 Did you put gas in it? 518 00:37:35,403 --> 00:37:39,362 No. You know, I think it must have sucked up a diaper or something. 519 00:37:39,474 --> 00:37:41,942 Gross. Try it again. 520 00:37:45,747 --> 00:37:47,339 You want me to call AAA? 521 00:37:47,448 --> 00:37:49,939 Come on around and let me hop on with you. 522 00:37:50,084 --> 00:37:53,781 I don't know. What if you break mine, too? Then we'll both be sitting ducks. 523 00:37:53,921 --> 00:37:57,584 - I didn't break it. It just died. - Yeah, yeah. 524 00:37:57,725 --> 00:37:59,716 All right, hop on. 525 00:38:01,329 --> 00:38:04,093 - Scoot back. - Hitch, I'm already here. 526 00:38:04,665 --> 00:38:06,428 But you don't know where we're going. 527 00:38:06,567 --> 00:38:09,263 Why don't you tell me? Then we'll both know. 528 00:38:12,073 --> 00:38:13,700 Man, male egos. 529 00:38:13,808 --> 00:38:16,641 I don't know how you guys make it through the day with them. 530 00:38:16,778 --> 00:38:18,871 What? It is not my ego. 531 00:38:18,980 --> 00:38:21,744 I just don't want to ruin the surprise. 532 00:38:31,826 --> 00:38:34,590 I'm sorry. Are you all right? 533 00:38:36,697 --> 00:38:39,632 There. I always keep a few of those around. 534 00:38:39,767 --> 00:38:40,791 Thank you. 535 00:38:40,935 --> 00:38:44,894 I have lower back trouble. I just shove the ice packs right down there. 536 00:38:45,439 --> 00:38:47,339 No. That's a fresh one. 537 00:38:49,210 --> 00:38:50,905 So, Ellis Island. 538 00:38:51,179 --> 00:38:55,309 I have to admit, I have lived in New York my whole life and I've never been here. 539 00:38:55,449 --> 00:38:56,973 I figured that. Most people haven't. 540 00:38:57,118 --> 00:38:59,678 So I got my man Larry here to set us up a private tour. 541 00:38:59,821 --> 00:39:01,812 - Great! - Anything for Hitch. 542 00:39:03,457 --> 00:39:06,688 It was originally known as Oyster Island. 543 00:39:06,828 --> 00:39:09,490 The island was expanded to its present size... 544 00:39:09,630 --> 00:39:13,760 with dirt removed during the construction of the New York subway system. 545 00:39:14,502 --> 00:39:16,094 - Are you serious? - Yes. 546 00:39:16,204 --> 00:39:19,435 - Did you know this? - Yeah. That's why I brought you here. 547 00:39:19,540 --> 00:39:24,341 In fact, over 100 million Americans can trace their ancestry... 548 00:39:24,478 --> 00:39:28,505 back to a single man, woman, or child on the ship's manifest... 549 00:39:28,649 --> 00:39:30,674 to an inspector's ledger. 550 00:39:31,252 --> 00:39:36,212 By 1910, 75%% of the residents of New York... 551 00:39:36,357 --> 00:39:39,656 Chicago, Detroit, Cleveland, and Boston... 552 00:39:39,760 --> 00:39:42,558 were immigrants, or the children of immigrants. 553 00:39:42,697 --> 00:39:46,224 They generally lived in the poorest sections of the cities... 554 00:39:46,367 --> 00:39:50,463 in Little Italys, Chinatowns and other ethnic enclaves. 555 00:39:50,872 --> 00:39:53,067 It's called The Kissing Post. 556 00:39:53,608 --> 00:39:57,977 The plaque explains how different cultures kiss after long absences. 557 00:39:58,880 --> 00:40:02,179 Now, what exactly would qualify as a long absence? 558 00:40:02,717 --> 00:40:04,082 I mean... 559 00:40:04,952 --> 00:40:07,386 - That count? - No. 560 00:40:10,958 --> 00:40:15,224 I actually had a relative come through here. 561 00:40:15,796 --> 00:40:17,320 - Really? - Yeah. 562 00:40:19,533 --> 00:40:20,659 What? 563 00:40:21,569 --> 00:40:24,732 - What? - What was that thing? 564 00:40:25,940 --> 00:40:29,376 No. You know, I was just thinking... 565 00:40:29,810 --> 00:40:33,678 you can't really know where you're going until you know where you've been. 566 00:40:33,781 --> 00:40:36,682 - Ain't that right, Larry? - Amen, brother. 567 00:40:36,884 --> 00:40:40,411 That's kind of deep for a first date, don't you think? 568 00:40:43,891 --> 00:40:45,358 What is that? 569 00:41:03,945 --> 00:41:05,708 Oh, my God! 570 00:41:12,253 --> 00:41:16,952 That's my great-great-grandfather. That's his signature. 571 00:41:17,091 --> 00:41:19,082 Jesus, it's right here! 572 00:41:22,096 --> 00:41:24,155 How did you know? 573 00:41:25,099 --> 00:41:28,125 Hitch did the search. I just found the page. 574 00:41:51,826 --> 00:41:53,157 I'm sorry. 575 00:42:02,470 --> 00:42:05,701 I saw that going differently in my mind. 576 00:42:08,142 --> 00:42:12,602 So my family never saw him again. Well, except for on the Wanted posters. 577 00:42:12,980 --> 00:42:15,346 Look, I'm really sorry. 578 00:42:15,850 --> 00:42:19,809 When I saw it on the computer, it said, "the Butcher of Cádiz." 579 00:42:21,522 --> 00:42:26,289 I thought it was a profession, not a headline. 580 00:42:27,695 --> 00:42:32,359 It's just one of those horrible family legacies we've all tried to forget. 581 00:42:33,167 --> 00:42:34,532 But thank you. 582 00:42:34,668 --> 00:42:35,999 No, it was... 583 00:42:36,103 --> 00:42:38,196 - A train wreck. - No. 584 00:42:38,339 --> 00:42:39,806 Let me get you a cab. 585 00:42:44,612 --> 00:42:45,874 Thanks. 586 00:42:48,182 --> 00:42:50,082 - Bye. - Bye-bye. 587 00:42:59,894 --> 00:43:01,020 Taxi! 588 00:43:04,732 --> 00:43:07,292 Poor guy. Sounds like he went to a lot of trouble. 589 00:43:07,401 --> 00:43:12,236 It was fun. In a disastrous kind of way. I mean, this isn't exactly a hickey. 590 00:43:13,374 --> 00:43:16,502 At least you got a good story out of it, right? 591 00:43:18,946 --> 00:43:20,004 Right? 592 00:43:20,114 --> 00:43:23,675 - You should try mine, it's great. - Wait. You're seeing him again? 593 00:43:25,252 --> 00:43:29,018 Well, look, you said that I'm always expecting men... 594 00:43:29,123 --> 00:43:32,183 to let me down, right? Assuming that they're gonna fail? 595 00:43:32,293 --> 00:43:33,760 Which he did. 596 00:43:34,595 --> 00:43:37,587 Yeah, but he did it with flair. 597 00:43:39,834 --> 00:43:42,632 I mean, Case, he really tanked. 598 00:43:42,736 --> 00:43:44,966 And that's a desirable trait? 599 00:43:45,739 --> 00:43:48,537 Yeah. Weird, huh? 600 00:43:51,078 --> 00:43:53,672 Now, just keep it simple. Just like we practiced. 601 00:43:53,814 --> 00:43:55,304 We're just leaving a message. 602 00:43:55,416 --> 00:43:58,647 Women like Allegra Cole don't pick up numbers they don't recognize. 603 00:44:02,189 --> 00:44:03,349 Hello? 604 00:44:03,991 --> 00:44:05,720 She's on the phone! 605 00:44:08,329 --> 00:44:10,297 - Yes. Hello, Miss Cole? - Yeah. 606 00:44:10,397 --> 00:44:12,490 Hi, I have Albert Brennaman for you. 607 00:44:12,600 --> 00:44:15,068 - One moment, please. - No. Tell her I'm at lunch. 608 00:44:15,169 --> 00:44:18,104 We called her to tell her you're at lunch? 609 00:44:22,743 --> 00:44:26,804 Allegra. Hi, it's Albert Brennaman. 610 00:44:27,948 --> 00:44:29,575 Hi, how are you? 611 00:44:29,783 --> 00:44:32,013 Good. I'm doing good. 612 00:44:32,419 --> 00:44:35,479 The reason I'm calling is about our appointment this Wednesday. 613 00:44:36,157 --> 00:44:37,954 Not gonna be able to make it. 614 00:44:39,059 --> 00:44:41,152 Well, when can you make it? 615 00:44:41,795 --> 00:44:43,228 When can I do it? 616 00:44:46,700 --> 00:44:49,999 I don't even know, because my whole next week is slammed. 617 00:44:50,738 --> 00:44:53,400 Right. But it's all good. 618 00:44:55,809 --> 00:44:58,437 No, we're gonna make it happen though, that's for sure. 619 00:44:59,079 --> 00:45:00,944 We're going to make it happen. Yes. 620 00:45:09,723 --> 00:45:11,190 What's going on over there? 621 00:45:11,292 --> 00:45:13,692 Just moving some things around. 622 00:45:15,763 --> 00:45:17,060 Sky Studios. 623 00:45:17,164 --> 00:45:20,565 Tonight I'm actually going to this fashion thing at Sky Studios. 624 00:45:20,668 --> 00:45:21,930 Designer friend. 625 00:45:22,069 --> 00:45:26,130 I just thought it might be something your designer friend would be interested in. 626 00:45:26,273 --> 00:45:27,604 Yeah, definitely. 627 00:45:27,741 --> 00:45:31,472 Well, great. Then I will put you back on with my... 628 00:45:50,097 --> 00:45:52,395 - Allegra, over here, please. - Miss Cole, this way. 629 00:45:52,499 --> 00:45:53,830 Great. One more. 630 00:45:53,934 --> 00:45:57,062 - Hi, there. - This was a fantastic idea. 631 00:45:57,371 --> 00:45:59,737 I suppose. Hey, where's Maggie? 632 00:46:00,274 --> 00:46:01,798 Late as usual. 633 00:46:03,978 --> 00:46:07,744 Tonight I want you to meditate on the image of an iceberg. 634 00:46:08,115 --> 00:46:09,946 Do you know why I want you to do that? 635 00:46:10,217 --> 00:46:11,912 Because I'm cool? 636 00:46:12,019 --> 00:46:13,850 - No. - I know, I'm not. 637 00:46:14,622 --> 00:46:16,487 I'm saying that you are an iceberg... 638 00:46:16,624 --> 00:46:20,617 in that over 90%% of your mass is below the surface. 639 00:46:21,328 --> 00:46:23,421 I know I'm heavy. I am. 640 00:46:23,530 --> 00:46:26,966 I'm talking about who you are. It's a metaphor. 641 00:46:27,067 --> 00:46:28,432 Accounting, business... 642 00:46:28,535 --> 00:46:33,131 all of that is just a small part of a much deeper, richer Albert. 643 00:46:34,375 --> 00:46:35,672 One more. 644 00:46:37,044 --> 00:46:38,341 It's gonna be loud in there... 645 00:46:38,479 --> 00:46:41,107 so this is our opportunity to break the touch barrier... 646 00:46:41,215 --> 00:46:42,477 in a non-sleazy way. 647 00:46:42,583 --> 00:46:45,609 So get to where it's loudest. Ask her if she'd like a drink. 648 00:46:45,719 --> 00:46:48,153 Lean in, place your hand on the small of her back... 649 00:46:48,255 --> 00:46:50,052 and say it in her ear like a secret. 650 00:46:50,190 --> 00:46:53,591 Watch your hand placement. Too high says, "I just wanna be friends." 651 00:46:53,694 --> 00:46:56,060 Too low says, "I just wanna grab some ass." 652 00:46:57,164 --> 00:46:59,792 Friends. Ass. Me. 653 00:47:05,072 --> 00:47:07,563 Special issues: Allegra Cole is a celebrity... 654 00:47:07,708 --> 00:47:11,166 which means that when people talk to her, they'll ignore you completely. 655 00:47:11,278 --> 00:47:13,041 She's classy, so she'll introduce you. 656 00:47:13,180 --> 00:47:16,707 When she does, shake hands hard and speak up. Let them know you're there. 657 00:47:16,817 --> 00:47:18,682 Show her you can handle being her escort. 658 00:47:18,786 --> 00:47:21,983 - Egon, this is Albert. - How you doing? 659 00:47:22,189 --> 00:47:24,419 - Albert, this is Zak. - Nice to see you. 660 00:47:24,858 --> 00:47:26,723 These guys are friends with Maggie. 661 00:47:26,960 --> 00:47:30,020 - Been to that new Brazilian restaurant? - No, but I am... 662 00:47:30,130 --> 00:47:32,724 It's disgusting. I'm writing an article about it. 663 00:47:33,901 --> 00:47:36,028 Did you see the new installation at MOMA? 664 00:47:36,270 --> 00:47:39,000 - Yes, did you think... - Disgusting. 665 00:47:40,607 --> 00:47:43,838 Women can always tell when you're not being real with them. 666 00:47:44,144 --> 00:47:47,636 Worst thing you can do is try to fake it, because you are a great guy. 667 00:47:47,981 --> 00:47:51,348 And you do have something to offer Allegra that no other man does. 668 00:47:52,252 --> 00:47:53,719 What was your name? Eggnog? 669 00:47:55,556 --> 00:47:56,682 Egon. 670 00:47:57,191 --> 00:48:01,127 What do you think of the design of the Jets' new football stadium on the West Side? 671 00:48:01,662 --> 00:48:03,960 Let me guess. Disgusting? 672 00:48:04,865 --> 00:48:06,765 Think it over. We'll be back. 673 00:48:09,169 --> 00:48:12,297 Thank you. I can't stand those guys. 674 00:48:12,439 --> 00:48:14,634 Really? I kind of liked them. 675 00:48:14,775 --> 00:48:16,572 But when all is said and done... 676 00:48:16,777 --> 00:48:19,371 tonight is not about Allegra. 677 00:48:20,180 --> 00:48:22,876 - It's not? - No. Tonight is about Maggie. 678 00:48:23,250 --> 00:48:27,209 A woman's best friend has to sign off on all big relationship decisions. 679 00:48:27,388 --> 00:48:29,083 So you can't afford to mess this up. 680 00:48:29,189 --> 00:48:31,657 Albert, I want you to meet my friend, Maggie. 681 00:48:32,192 --> 00:48:35,025 Hi, Maggie. It's an absolute pleasure to meet you. 682 00:48:35,162 --> 00:48:36,527 I'm Maggie. 683 00:48:37,464 --> 00:48:40,592 - No, you're not. - Actually, I am. 684 00:48:41,068 --> 00:48:44,504 Magnus Forester. Thank you so much for inviting us. 685 00:48:46,774 --> 00:48:48,901 - You have very soft hands. - Thank you. 686 00:48:51,211 --> 00:48:53,611 - Wow. So do you. - Thank you. 687 00:48:53,714 --> 00:48:57,650 So tonight, you focus on one thing and one thing only. 688 00:48:58,018 --> 00:48:58,916 Maggie. 689 00:48:59,086 --> 00:49:02,613 - Where does your inspiration come from? - Oh, my God. 690 00:49:03,490 --> 00:49:05,014 Anything I see. 691 00:49:05,492 --> 00:49:09,189 Something in a magazine, out on the street... 692 00:49:09,830 --> 00:49:10,888 in an old movie. 693 00:49:11,899 --> 00:49:15,494 The receptive nature of the creative facility just astounds me. 694 00:49:16,336 --> 00:49:17,894 Anybody want any spring rolls? 695 00:49:18,038 --> 00:49:21,337 That's a beautiful tie, by the way. This whole thing, it just works. 696 00:49:21,675 --> 00:49:23,040 Thank you. 697 00:49:24,711 --> 00:49:27,475 - Is he gay? - I don't think so. 698 00:49:29,149 --> 00:49:30,138 I like him. 699 00:49:30,250 --> 00:49:34,983 About the deejay. Generally, I have a firm no-dancing policy. 700 00:49:35,088 --> 00:49:37,989 But if she asks, you cannot say no. 701 00:49:38,091 --> 00:49:40,958 I'm not worried about dancing. But if there are people there... 702 00:49:41,061 --> 00:49:45,521 I'm sorry, I hate to be a stickler, but I need to be thorough. 703 00:49:46,767 --> 00:49:49,292 Show me what you mean by you're not worried about it. 704 00:49:49,403 --> 00:49:51,633 Trust me. You know what I'm gonna do. 705 00:49:54,741 --> 00:49:56,834 That's what it's all about, right there. 706 00:49:57,578 --> 00:49:58,875 See how it gets bigger? 707 00:50:02,149 --> 00:50:03,673 Now I'm gonna start the fire. 708 00:50:04,017 --> 00:50:07,817 But the feet are going. I start the fire, I make the pizza. 709 00:50:08,121 --> 00:50:09,383 Hips are always going. 710 00:50:11,091 --> 00:50:12,353 Can't get enough hip. 711 00:50:12,593 --> 00:50:15,061 From there, the Q-Tip. 712 00:50:16,129 --> 00:50:19,462 Q-Tip. Throw it away. 713 00:50:20,200 --> 00:50:22,225 That's not working, hit them with this. 714 00:50:30,978 --> 00:50:33,742 Don't ever... 715 00:50:34,681 --> 00:50:35,773 do that again. 716 00:50:37,484 --> 00:50:38,644 Do you hear me? 717 00:50:39,486 --> 00:50:41,351 - Just expressing myself. - No. 718 00:50:42,823 --> 00:50:46,020 Not like that, you're not, all right? 719 00:50:49,029 --> 00:50:50,462 This is where you live. 720 00:50:51,365 --> 00:50:52,764 Right here. 721 00:50:52,866 --> 00:50:55,858 You live right here, okay? This is home. 722 00:50:56,503 --> 00:50:57,527 None of this. 723 00:50:58,171 --> 00:50:59,832 I don't wanna see none of that. 724 00:50:59,940 --> 00:51:02,033 Don't need no pizza. They got food there. 725 00:51:10,250 --> 00:51:13,344 Elbows, 6 inches from the waist, 90-degree angles. 726 00:51:13,921 --> 00:51:16,185 Don't you bite your lip. Stop it. 727 00:51:35,876 --> 00:51:38,868 Women relate dancing to sex, all right? 728 00:51:38,979 --> 00:51:41,971 Even a great dancer can lose it with one of these. 729 00:51:43,083 --> 00:51:45,643 Okay, now that's what I need to be learning. 730 00:51:56,763 --> 00:51:58,060 Can't stop it. 731 00:51:58,732 --> 00:52:00,597 You cannot stop it. 732 00:52:03,036 --> 00:52:04,196 Next subject. 733 00:52:06,306 --> 00:52:07,295 Get out. 734 00:52:12,446 --> 00:52:13,674 Thanks. 735 00:52:14,114 --> 00:52:16,207 So, are you a Knicks fan? 736 00:52:18,251 --> 00:52:19,946 When they're good. 737 00:52:26,493 --> 00:52:28,654 - I'm really sorry. - Oh, God. Why? 738 00:52:29,963 --> 00:52:32,329 - She was there? - I left you a bunch of messages. 739 00:52:32,833 --> 00:52:34,460 My phone fell in the Hudson. 740 00:52:34,601 --> 00:52:35,966 Yeah, well, it gets worse. 741 00:52:39,906 --> 00:52:40,964 I don't believe this. 742 00:52:41,074 --> 00:52:45,010 - I thought he was a bodyguard. - I'm the only one who will need protection. 743 00:52:45,412 --> 00:52:47,812 - Max is gonna... - Gonna be really irritated. 744 00:52:48,448 --> 00:52:51,940 When I got the train this morning, I thought it was gonna be a good day. 745 00:52:52,919 --> 00:52:55,387 Who the hell is Albert Brennaman? 746 00:52:55,922 --> 00:52:59,119 - Tell me how this happened. - What? There were some photographers. 747 00:52:59,259 --> 00:53:01,318 Does this even look like dancing to you? 748 00:53:01,728 --> 00:53:03,628 That's just a little bit of me being me. 749 00:53:03,764 --> 00:53:08,326 No, that's you being a lot of something you don't need to ever be again. 750 00:53:08,669 --> 00:53:10,193 - It's just one dance. - No. 751 00:53:10,871 --> 00:53:15,365 One dance, one look, one kiss. That's all we get, Albert. 752 00:53:15,575 --> 00:53:18,237 Just one shot to make the difference... 753 00:53:18,345 --> 00:53:20,836 between happily ever after and: 754 00:53:21,081 --> 00:53:24,710 "Oh, he's just some guy I went to some thing with once." 755 00:53:25,686 --> 00:53:26,675 All right? 756 00:53:32,359 --> 00:53:35,089 - What? - You said "kiss." 757 00:53:37,798 --> 00:53:39,288 Is that a problem? 758 00:53:40,200 --> 00:53:42,828 It's not a problem, but this is Allegra Cole. 759 00:53:42,936 --> 00:53:45,268 Eight out of 10 women believe that the first kiss... 760 00:53:45,372 --> 00:53:48,398 will tell them everything they need to know about a relationship. 761 00:53:48,508 --> 00:53:51,944 And believe me, she has definitely thought about it. 762 00:53:52,412 --> 00:53:54,744 - She has? - Of course. 763 00:53:54,848 --> 00:53:58,477 Not that she's gonna act on it. So it's no real big deal. 764 00:53:58,719 --> 00:54:01,711 - All right, it's no big deal then. - It's a very big deal! 765 00:54:01,822 --> 00:54:03,289 - Huge. - Monumental! 766 00:54:03,390 --> 00:54:05,358 You are not listening... 767 00:54:06,827 --> 00:54:08,954 I need you to wrap your head around this. 768 00:54:09,062 --> 00:54:11,860 Tomorrow night, Allegra Cole... 769 00:54:12,199 --> 00:54:15,862 could have her last first kiss. 770 00:54:26,847 --> 00:54:29,145 All right, come on, just show me what you got. 771 00:54:29,983 --> 00:54:32,645 - What do you mean? - Just show me how you would kiss me. 772 00:54:33,420 --> 00:54:34,580 I wouldn't kiss you. 773 00:54:35,055 --> 00:54:36,488 I'm not me, I'm Allegra. 774 00:54:39,359 --> 00:54:40,986 But you're really not, so... 775 00:54:41,094 --> 00:54:44,962 Okay, Albert, end of the night, you're dropping me off at home. 776 00:54:45,198 --> 00:54:47,792 - Show me the magic. - I'm not comfortable with this. 777 00:54:47,901 --> 00:54:51,496 God, Albert, I had such a wonderful time with you. 778 00:54:51,605 --> 00:54:53,300 Yeah, how about those Knicks? 779 00:54:54,274 --> 00:54:58,836 You see what I'm doing? This is a signal. I'm fiddling with my keys. 780 00:54:58,945 --> 00:55:00,537 A woman that doesn't want a kiss... 781 00:55:00,680 --> 00:55:03,513 takes her keys out, puts them in the door, goes in the house. 782 00:55:03,617 --> 00:55:05,710 A woman that wants to kiss, she fiddles. 783 00:55:07,053 --> 00:55:08,418 I'm fiddling. 784 00:55:08,555 --> 00:55:10,386 Okay, you have a good night now... 785 00:55:11,725 --> 00:55:13,955 - You see what I'm doing? - Robbing me? 786 00:55:14,060 --> 00:55:15,118 No. 787 00:55:15,462 --> 00:55:18,226 This is what most guys do. They rush in to take the kiss. 788 00:55:18,565 --> 00:55:20,123 But you're not most guys. 789 00:55:20,934 --> 00:55:25,030 See, the secret to a kiss is to go 90%% of the way... 790 00:55:26,173 --> 00:55:27,367 and then hold. 791 00:55:32,379 --> 00:55:34,540 - For how long? - As long as it takes... 792 00:55:35,115 --> 00:55:36,946 for her to come the other 10%% . 793 00:55:37,083 --> 00:55:38,948 Okay, 90%% -10%% . Got it. 794 00:55:39,085 --> 00:55:42,384 Okay, come on. Shake it off. It's your turn. 795 00:55:46,159 --> 00:55:48,491 I had a really nice time tonight, Albert. 796 00:55:51,097 --> 00:55:54,328 I had a great time tonight, too, Allegra... 797 00:55:56,303 --> 00:55:57,770 with a beard. 798 00:56:31,271 --> 00:56:32,238 What's up? 799 00:56:33,139 --> 00:56:35,972 - I'm not feeling it. - What do you mean? I came 90%% . 800 00:56:36,109 --> 00:56:38,134 I'm not feeling like you want it. 801 00:56:38,245 --> 00:56:42,739 Look, I'm Allegra Cole, the woman of your dreams. 802 00:56:42,849 --> 00:56:46,615 The woman whose green eyes are limpid pools of desire. 803 00:56:46,720 --> 00:56:49,018 Now, show me the magic, Albert. 804 00:56:49,489 --> 00:56:51,889 - What the hell was that? - I'm showing you the magic! 805 00:56:52,025 --> 00:56:54,118 No, I said come 90%% and then I come 10%%! 806 00:56:54,227 --> 00:56:55,785 You don't go the whole 100%%! 807 00:56:55,896 --> 00:56:59,388 My mouth was open, Albert. You overeager son of a... 808 00:57:02,936 --> 00:57:04,403 Other than that, how was it? 809 00:57:05,438 --> 00:57:08,601 They came together, they danced together, and they left together. 810 00:57:09,109 --> 00:57:11,577 He's cute, in a sheepdog kind of way. 811 00:57:11,745 --> 00:57:13,736 For all I know, he's adorable. 812 00:57:14,080 --> 00:57:16,310 But him dating her is... 813 00:57:16,483 --> 00:57:18,007 You seem stressed. 814 00:57:18,151 --> 00:57:19,880 You and I had an understanding. 815 00:57:19,986 --> 00:57:22,477 If you invite Allegra, you're supposed to call me. 816 00:57:22,656 --> 00:57:24,146 I didn't invite her. 817 00:57:24,357 --> 00:57:26,917 Honestly, sweetie, I thought she was still in Europe. 818 00:57:27,027 --> 00:57:29,325 - So you invited Albert? - No. 819 00:57:29,963 --> 00:57:34,024 Look, it says here the tickets went to some guy named Alex Hitchens. 820 00:57:34,134 --> 00:57:35,158 What? 821 00:57:46,646 --> 00:57:47,908 Machine. 822 00:57:51,284 --> 00:57:52,911 Hi, it's Sara. 823 00:57:56,256 --> 00:57:59,123 I just wanted to say thank you... 824 00:57:59,259 --> 00:58:03,958 for an unforgettable experience... 825 00:58:04,297 --> 00:58:05,423 the other day. 826 00:58:06,933 --> 00:58:09,333 And if you ever want to see your shirt again... 827 00:58:09,436 --> 00:58:13,395 you can come by the Fulton Fish Market tonight, around 8:00. 828 00:58:13,773 --> 00:58:15,741 Okay, bye. 829 00:58:19,312 --> 00:58:21,644 - Do you think he'll show? - Yeah. 830 00:58:21,982 --> 00:58:24,815 He's too much of a player to have a bad date on his record. 831 00:58:25,118 --> 00:58:27,985 Is this a source or a date? 832 00:58:29,189 --> 00:58:30,486 A source. 833 00:58:31,491 --> 00:58:33,152 Well, it sounded like a date. 834 00:58:34,194 --> 00:58:35,661 Well, it was supposed to. 835 00:58:38,832 --> 00:58:42,029 So it looks like a date and it sounds like a date... 836 00:58:42,435 --> 00:58:45,529 - but it's not a date. - Yeah. Right. 837 00:58:46,740 --> 00:58:47,900 Just checking. 838 00:59:08,094 --> 00:59:10,756 Hi. I wasn't sure you got my message. 839 00:59:10,964 --> 00:59:15,526 I wasn't sure you called the right guy. You must be a glutton for punishment. 840 00:59:16,002 --> 00:59:18,630 Either that or I really wanna pay you back. 841 00:59:19,039 --> 00:59:20,904 I think this is yours. 842 00:59:21,841 --> 00:59:25,208 Thank you. I'm gonna frame this for my wall of shame. 843 00:59:25,678 --> 00:59:27,737 Really? There's a whole wall? 844 00:59:28,014 --> 00:59:29,641 So what are we getting into? 845 00:59:32,152 --> 00:59:34,052 Ever been to a food rave before? 846 00:59:34,154 --> 00:59:38,090 Happens once a month, all around the city. Different chefs, different venues. 847 00:59:38,291 --> 00:59:39,519 You any good in the kitchen? 848 00:59:39,659 --> 00:59:41,889 I can stand the heat, if that's what you mean. 849 00:59:41,995 --> 00:59:45,795 Good. Because that's my boss and his wife right over there. 850 00:59:46,066 --> 00:59:47,499 Interesting. 851 00:59:47,801 --> 00:59:51,669 Well, here's a concept: We're paying to cook our own food. 852 00:59:51,805 --> 00:59:54,933 Here's another concept: Shut up. It's an evening out. 853 00:59:55,041 --> 00:59:57,271 The longer you're married, the less you go out. 854 00:59:57,377 --> 01:00:01,643 In a couple of years, we're gonna end up bricked into our apartment like a Poe story. 855 01:00:02,649 --> 01:00:05,379 So, Louise, are you in the newspaper business, also? 856 01:00:05,518 --> 01:00:06,849 No, I'm a psychiatrist. 857 01:00:08,321 --> 01:00:11,620 Well, that's the last thing I'm gonna say tonight. 858 01:00:12,425 --> 01:00:15,952 So, Sara, you never told me. 859 01:00:16,229 --> 01:00:20,063 How was the Sky Studio fashion thing you went to the other night? 860 01:00:20,200 --> 01:00:23,499 Did you meet anyone worth mentioning? 861 01:00:23,903 --> 01:00:24,961 No. 862 01:00:26,673 --> 01:00:30,370 Really? I find that very odd. 863 01:00:30,910 --> 01:00:33,208 - Max. - I think you're being odd. 864 01:00:33,346 --> 01:00:36,804 Well, I'm always odd. It's why you married me. 865 01:00:36,950 --> 01:00:39,077 And it's why I married you. 866 01:00:40,286 --> 01:00:41,810 Speaking of which, Hitch... 867 01:00:41,921 --> 01:00:45,755 what exactly are your intentions for the lovely Sara? 868 01:00:45,892 --> 01:00:49,157 Wait, you know what? Actually, there was someone. 869 01:00:51,631 --> 01:00:54,361 I think I met your friends Albert and Allegra. 870 01:00:55,201 --> 01:00:57,897 - My friends who and who? - Allegra Cole? 871 01:00:58,037 --> 01:01:00,232 Really? How do you know her? 872 01:01:01,641 --> 01:01:03,905 - I don't. - So you know Albert? 873 01:01:05,445 --> 01:01:07,504 - Knew. - He had your tickets. 874 01:01:07,614 --> 01:01:11,050 I mean, how well do you really know your accountant? 875 01:01:12,252 --> 01:01:16,120 April 15, and then you don't see him again till April 15. 876 01:01:17,624 --> 01:01:18,921 Ladies and gentlemen... 877 01:01:19,025 --> 01:01:22,222 a coquille St. Jacques with a lemon butter reduction. 878 01:01:22,428 --> 01:01:24,555 - Compliments of our chef. - Thank you. 879 01:01:24,664 --> 01:01:26,723 I'm sure you're really gonna enjoy this. 880 01:01:34,674 --> 01:01:36,005 That's really good. 881 01:01:37,043 --> 01:01:39,170 I'm very impressed. 882 01:01:40,380 --> 01:01:41,404 Why is that? 883 01:01:42,448 --> 01:01:47,147 Around these two, people usually can't wait to name-drop and dish their friends... 884 01:01:47,253 --> 01:01:48,777 and you're being all discreet. 885 01:01:48,888 --> 01:01:51,015 Yeah, it's quite endearing. 886 01:01:51,157 --> 01:01:53,955 Actually, it is. So why don't we change the subject? 887 01:01:56,396 --> 01:01:59,422 - Are you all right? - Yeah. No, I'm fine. 888 01:02:00,233 --> 01:02:04,169 So Sara tells me that you're a consultant, Hitch. 889 01:02:04,737 --> 01:02:09,504 Yeah, mostly marketing, little advertising, brand management. 890 01:02:10,543 --> 01:02:12,841 I have no idea what that means. 891 01:02:13,012 --> 01:02:15,810 No one does. That's why I get to charge so much. 892 01:02:19,986 --> 01:02:21,817 Are you sure you're all right? 893 01:02:22,522 --> 01:02:26,652 Yeah, I'm fine. Is it itchy in here or is it just me? 894 01:02:27,360 --> 01:02:30,386 - I know what's happening. - No. 895 01:02:30,830 --> 01:02:32,730 You think that I'm in a stressful state... 896 01:02:32,865 --> 01:02:35,026 because I'm trying to make a good impression... 897 01:02:35,168 --> 01:02:38,331 while also dealing with my commitment issues... 898 01:02:39,672 --> 01:02:42,607 trying to avoid all these awkward conversations. 899 01:02:43,209 --> 01:02:45,837 No, I think you have food allergies. 900 01:02:49,215 --> 01:02:50,682 - Wow. - What? 901 01:02:53,253 --> 01:02:55,380 - Benadryl. Where's the Benadryl? - Aisle 2. 902 01:02:55,521 --> 01:02:58,183 - Which one's Aisle 2? - The one with the big 2 over it. 903 01:02:58,291 --> 01:02:59,849 Sara, I'm fine. 904 01:02:59,993 --> 01:03:02,120 - You sure it's in Aisle 2? - No. 905 01:03:02,295 --> 01:03:04,320 Really, it is not that serious. 906 01:03:08,401 --> 01:03:09,698 Benadryl. 907 01:03:10,737 --> 01:03:13,968 - A lot of Benadryl. A lot. - What? Are you... 908 01:03:28,488 --> 01:03:31,218 Coquille St. Jacques. Death on a leaf! 909 01:03:35,662 --> 01:03:36,754 Come on! 910 01:03:48,007 --> 01:03:49,804 Okay, we're doing fine. 911 01:03:49,909 --> 01:03:52,377 Just a couple more blocks and you get to lie down. 912 01:04:01,321 --> 01:04:03,186 Wait, who sings that song again? 913 01:04:03,323 --> 01:04:05,154 Oh, girl. Earth, Wind & Fire. 914 01:04:05,291 --> 01:04:07,122 You should let them sing it. 915 01:04:10,830 --> 01:04:14,561 I bet this would be great on the rocks. It's good, right? 916 01:04:17,003 --> 01:04:19,972 I bet I can ask you just about anything right now. 917 01:04:20,239 --> 01:04:21,263 No. 918 01:04:21,841 --> 01:04:23,900 I'm a vault, baby. Locked down. 919 01:04:25,778 --> 01:04:29,179 What is an heiress doing with a CPA? 920 01:04:29,682 --> 01:04:31,411 They're going to the Knicks game. 921 01:04:32,085 --> 01:04:34,053 Yep, Fort Knox. 922 01:04:35,888 --> 01:04:38,482 He loves her so much! 923 01:04:39,058 --> 01:04:40,582 I'm sure he does. 924 01:04:41,194 --> 01:04:45,528 I'm telling you, people search their whole lives trying to find the... 925 01:04:45,665 --> 01:04:48,566 Reasons that we're here 926 01:04:49,736 --> 01:04:50,998 I wouldn't know. 927 01:04:52,004 --> 01:04:53,437 You would if you saw it. 928 01:04:53,840 --> 01:04:57,401 Sometimes it's really hard to see the forest through the sleaze. 929 01:04:58,678 --> 01:05:00,976 What about you? You ever been in love? 930 01:05:06,252 --> 01:05:07,378 Yep. 931 01:05:11,657 --> 01:05:13,420 But you're never gonna know that. 932 01:05:17,196 --> 01:05:20,188 Okay, I think you've had enough of the juice box. 933 01:05:22,902 --> 01:05:24,233 Let's go. 934 01:05:31,210 --> 01:05:32,939 This is some place. 935 01:05:34,280 --> 01:05:35,577 You live here alone? 936 01:05:37,417 --> 01:05:42,013 Yeah. I actually prefer it that way. What about you? 937 01:05:42,655 --> 01:05:46,955 I haven't had a roommate since college, and he upped and married my sister. 938 01:05:47,093 --> 01:05:49,755 - Really? - Yeah, they're gonna have a baby soon. 939 01:05:50,296 --> 01:05:51,763 Uncle Hitch. 940 01:05:53,433 --> 01:05:54,764 Thank you. 941 01:06:00,807 --> 01:06:03,742 - So, how do you feel? - Good. 942 01:06:05,111 --> 01:06:06,373 Relaxed. 943 01:06:07,914 --> 01:06:09,575 So what about you? Any siblings? 944 01:06:11,918 --> 01:06:15,786 Sister. Maria. Lives in D.C. 945 01:06:18,090 --> 01:06:19,614 Younger, right? 946 01:06:22,361 --> 01:06:23,953 I could hear it in your voice. 947 01:06:25,531 --> 01:06:28,989 Sort of an innate protective thing. 948 01:06:31,437 --> 01:06:32,927 Yeah, I guess. 949 01:06:38,811 --> 01:06:39,800 What? 950 01:06:43,149 --> 01:06:44,480 She almost died once. 951 01:06:49,622 --> 01:06:50,782 I was 10. 952 01:06:59,699 --> 01:07:02,463 We were skating on the pond behind our house... 953 01:07:02,902 --> 01:07:04,494 and she fell through the ice. 954 01:07:07,039 --> 01:07:08,438 My dad pulled her out. 955 01:07:12,712 --> 01:07:14,236 Gave her mouth-to-mouth. 956 01:07:17,984 --> 01:07:20,452 Longest three minutes of my life. 957 01:07:22,321 --> 01:07:23,845 Yeah, I'm sure. 958 01:07:30,096 --> 01:07:32,621 I don't think I've ever really gotten over it. 959 01:07:36,402 --> 01:07:39,633 Kind of defines you, doesn't it? 960 01:07:44,677 --> 01:07:49,239 You know like, one moment you're gliding along... 961 01:07:50,616 --> 01:07:54,552 the next moment you're standing in the rain watching your life fall apart. 962 01:07:56,622 --> 01:07:57,953 Except it was snow. 963 01:08:00,126 --> 01:08:02,686 Yeah. That's what I said, "snow." 964 01:08:05,031 --> 01:08:06,123 You said "rain." 965 01:08:08,301 --> 01:08:10,667 Some kind of precipitation. 966 01:08:15,474 --> 01:08:17,032 Is that what happened to you? 967 01:08:21,547 --> 01:08:24,880 Nothing as dramatic as falling through the ice. 968 01:08:28,921 --> 01:08:30,616 You know... 969 01:08:31,991 --> 01:08:33,515 it definitely... 970 01:08:37,296 --> 01:08:38,729 Left a scar? 971 01:08:41,000 --> 01:08:42,126 Yeah. 972 01:08:54,814 --> 01:08:58,306 I guess it's best just not to love at all, right? 973 01:09:02,655 --> 01:09:03,952 Or skate. 974 01:09:32,051 --> 01:09:33,518 Are you here? 975 01:09:42,561 --> 01:09:47,658 Sara, you're such an idiot! You moron! What the hell did you think? 976 01:09:47,767 --> 01:09:50,861 You're so stupid! You gotta learn, Sara. 977 01:09:51,003 --> 01:09:53,631 - When are you gonna learn... - Should I come back later? 978 01:09:55,841 --> 01:09:59,299 Hi. I thought you left. 979 01:09:59,545 --> 01:10:04,141 Well, I did, but then I came back with breakfast. 980 01:10:05,084 --> 01:10:08,247 I figured it was the least that I could do. 981 01:10:09,922 --> 01:10:12,413 I didn't know what you were drinking... 982 01:10:12,792 --> 01:10:17,525 so I got a grande cap, a latte, an Earl Grey tea... 983 01:10:17,797 --> 01:10:19,958 and something with "chai" in the title. 984 01:10:21,967 --> 01:10:23,161 Tea for me. 985 01:10:23,269 --> 01:10:25,999 Tea. Yes! I was hoping you'd say that. 986 01:10:28,974 --> 01:10:32,239 Oh, God. You're a morning person, aren't you? 987 01:10:33,446 --> 01:10:36,677 Well, like I always tell my clients: 988 01:10:36,782 --> 01:10:39,774 Begin each day as if it were on purpose. 989 01:10:47,493 --> 01:10:49,586 - Wow. Beautiful day. - Yeah. 990 01:10:51,297 --> 01:10:53,731 - Beautiful girl. - Thank you. 991 01:10:55,634 --> 01:10:57,534 Well, I'm this way. 992 01:10:58,003 --> 01:11:00,369 I'm that way. 993 01:11:01,674 --> 01:11:03,869 Give me a ring sometime. 994 01:11:05,778 --> 01:11:07,575 I mean, on the phone. 995 01:11:10,182 --> 01:11:12,810 No, I definitely will. 996 01:11:15,454 --> 01:11:16,580 Good. 997 01:11:45,885 --> 01:11:47,682 I gotta go to work. 998 01:11:57,463 --> 01:11:58,589 Bye. 999 01:12:01,167 --> 01:12:02,429 Goodbye. 1000 01:12:27,226 --> 01:12:30,389 Can you believe what a beautiful day it is... 1001 01:12:31,030 --> 01:12:32,292 not? 1002 01:12:32,398 --> 01:12:35,526 - What's wrong, pumpkin? - I'm so stupid. 1003 01:12:36,202 --> 01:12:38,466 I ignored your advice. I went on that date. 1004 01:12:38,571 --> 01:12:39,595 With who? 1005 01:12:40,573 --> 01:12:42,165 Not the lingerie guy. 1006 01:12:42,274 --> 01:12:45,641 Vance Munson. And you're right, there's no way he ever had a mother. 1007 01:12:45,778 --> 01:12:47,075 That bad? 1008 01:12:47,413 --> 01:12:51,577 He took me to Scalinatella, and he was affectionate and sweet. 1009 01:12:52,084 --> 01:12:55,485 He told me all these intimate things, like how he can't taste food... 1010 01:12:55,588 --> 01:12:57,078 and he wants three kids. 1011 01:12:57,223 --> 01:12:58,485 So you slept with him. 1012 01:12:59,792 --> 01:13:01,783 I never seen anybody get dressed that fast. 1013 01:13:01,894 --> 01:13:03,657 Case, I'm so sorry. 1014 01:13:05,531 --> 01:13:08,898 - Maybe I'll just die alone after all. - No, you won't. 1015 01:13:09,034 --> 01:13:13,403 You'll meet a great guy with a great smile and you'll travel the world together. 1016 01:13:13,539 --> 01:13:15,666 Who are you? Where's my best friend? 1017 01:13:15,774 --> 01:13:19,005 It's true. He just hasn't found you yet. But he will. 1018 01:13:19,111 --> 01:13:22,842 Just as he's leaving, guess what he says: "Date Doctor, my ass." 1019 01:13:22,948 --> 01:13:25,849 - What does that mean? - It means he's really out there. 1020 01:13:25,951 --> 01:13:29,819 And if I ever meet him, the only date he's gonna need is with a real doctor. 1021 01:13:42,468 --> 01:13:43,560 That's him. 1022 01:13:44,003 --> 01:13:46,096 Vance, is that you? 1023 01:13:46,805 --> 01:13:49,740 Yeah, hey there, beautiful. 1024 01:13:49,842 --> 01:13:51,309 Sara Melas, from the Standard. 1025 01:13:51,443 --> 01:13:53,911 I'd like to discuss the dating consultant you hired... 1026 01:13:54,013 --> 01:13:56,174 before you went out with Casey Sedgewick. 1027 01:13:59,718 --> 01:14:03,119 You don't wanna talk, that's fine. I'm going to write this anyway. 1028 01:14:03,222 --> 01:14:06,020 You just earned yourself a photo with a boldface caption. 1029 01:14:06,158 --> 01:14:07,591 What? Nice. 1030 01:14:07,693 --> 01:14:11,459 I can only imagine how the trading floor guys will react when they see this. 1031 01:14:11,563 --> 01:14:13,292 You have no proof, no facts. 1032 01:14:13,399 --> 01:14:16,129 Vance, I'm a gossip columnist, not the DA. 1033 01:14:16,235 --> 01:14:18,999 Okay, how much will it cost me to stay out of this? 1034 01:14:19,138 --> 01:14:20,935 I don't want money. I want a name. 1035 01:14:21,040 --> 01:14:23,372 - I don't know his name. - Well, what do you know? 1036 01:14:26,312 --> 01:14:27,711 I know this. 1037 01:14:34,086 --> 01:14:36,145 All this for a lousy lay. 1038 01:14:36,655 --> 01:14:37,952 Are we satisfied? 1039 01:14:39,692 --> 01:14:40,886 Almost. 1040 01:14:44,730 --> 01:14:47,631 No, you... You got to be... 1041 01:14:53,505 --> 01:14:54,904 Is this really necessary? 1042 01:14:55,541 --> 01:14:57,008 Have you seen your back? 1043 01:14:57,109 --> 01:15:00,909 No, but I see my front and maybe we should be starting with some sit-ups. 1044 01:15:01,714 --> 01:15:03,341 God! Mother of Troy! 1045 01:15:06,885 --> 01:15:08,079 Hello? 1046 01:15:09,555 --> 01:15:13,355 That's crazy. Just hearing your voice makes me smile. 1047 01:15:13,459 --> 01:15:14,756 How are you? 1048 01:15:14,893 --> 01:15:17,054 I'm good, I think. 1049 01:15:17,296 --> 01:15:20,823 No, actually, you know what? I feel a little strange. 1050 01:15:23,035 --> 01:15:24,332 I'm good. 1051 01:15:25,738 --> 01:15:27,103 Sweet Georgia Brown! 1052 01:15:27,239 --> 01:15:28,365 What was that? 1053 01:15:28,474 --> 01:15:31,534 No, that's just some guy screaming. 1054 01:15:32,711 --> 01:15:34,542 Listen, is there any context... 1055 01:15:34,646 --> 01:15:39,743 under which you'd consider facial edema and pharmaceutical intervention a date? 1056 01:15:41,086 --> 01:15:42,519 Probably not. 1057 01:15:42,621 --> 01:15:43,883 How about a do-over? 1058 01:15:43,989 --> 01:15:46,924 - What do you have in mind? - Dinner, my place. 1059 01:15:47,159 --> 01:15:50,754 Because obviously going anywhere public with you is out of the question. 1060 01:15:51,697 --> 01:15:54,461 God! That's it. I don't like you very much. 1061 01:15:54,566 --> 01:15:55,931 What is that? 1062 01:15:56,068 --> 01:15:57,262 Wait, I'm getting up. 1063 01:15:57,636 --> 01:16:00,036 It's like one of those makeover shows. 1064 01:16:00,139 --> 01:16:02,232 - That's a makeover show? - It's Danish. 1065 01:16:02,341 --> 01:16:04,036 Almost done! 1066 01:16:05,077 --> 01:16:06,271 Friday? 1067 01:16:06,512 --> 01:16:11,245 Can't. I told a friend I'd go speed dating. You know, for moral support. 1068 01:16:11,517 --> 01:16:13,075 But tomorrow I'm free. 1069 01:16:14,453 --> 01:16:16,387 Great. All right, 8:00? 1070 01:16:16,655 --> 01:16:17,644 Great. 1071 01:16:17,790 --> 01:16:20,588 - All right. Bye-bye. - Bye. 1072 01:16:25,931 --> 01:16:29,128 - See, it wasn't so bad, was it? - God! 1073 01:16:33,539 --> 01:16:36,099 Ball is back in play after a 20-second timeout. 1074 01:16:36,208 --> 01:16:40,338 Knicks lead the Grizzlies, 12-6, here early in the first quarter. 1075 01:16:50,155 --> 01:16:52,715 - So this is what this feels like? - "This" being? 1076 01:16:53,358 --> 01:16:55,485 Great seats, great game. 1077 01:16:57,062 --> 01:16:58,927 Great date. 1078 01:17:01,133 --> 01:17:02,760 I mean, sort of. 1079 01:17:03,402 --> 01:17:05,734 To me, it feels like a... 1080 01:17:06,405 --> 01:17:08,430 - Date? - Yeah. 1081 01:17:14,313 --> 01:17:16,042 Look at her. She looks so happy. 1082 01:17:16,915 --> 01:17:19,475 How does a guy like that end up with a girl like her? 1083 01:17:25,591 --> 01:17:28,788 I am so jealous. I've always wanted to be able to do that. 1084 01:17:29,128 --> 01:17:32,222 Really? Tonight is your lucky night. Let's see what you got. 1085 01:17:32,331 --> 01:17:33,992 Okay. You ready? 1086 01:17:36,869 --> 01:17:40,134 - Oh, God. I'm sorry. - It's fine. 1087 01:17:40,239 --> 01:17:42,400 Knicks off to a great start... 1088 01:17:42,541 --> 01:17:44,031 All right, here's how it works. 1089 01:17:44,143 --> 01:17:48,375 Central Park Zoo, tomorrow, noon, by the sea lions. 1090 01:17:49,581 --> 01:17:51,208 No, don't worry. I'll find you. 1091 01:17:51,750 --> 01:17:53,547 All right. Thank you. 1092 01:18:12,137 --> 01:18:14,469 It's all right. I'm sorry. 1093 01:18:14,840 --> 01:18:16,205 Damn me. 1094 01:18:20,646 --> 01:18:23,046 That was it! You got it. Do it again. 1095 01:18:24,750 --> 01:18:26,115 Look how cute they are. 1096 01:18:57,449 --> 01:18:58,643 Thanks. 1097 01:19:15,033 --> 01:19:17,160 I had a great time tonight, Albert. 1098 01:19:18,337 --> 01:19:21,033 I had a great time, too, Allegra. 1099 01:19:41,760 --> 01:19:43,193 Good night. 1100 01:19:43,695 --> 01:19:45,026 Good night, Albert. 1101 01:19:58,710 --> 01:20:00,871 - Allegra. - Yes? 1102 01:20:05,083 --> 01:20:06,345 Hold on. 1103 01:20:28,540 --> 01:20:30,201 I like your lips. 1104 01:20:34,313 --> 01:20:36,008 They seem to like you, too. 1105 01:20:44,489 --> 01:20:45,888 Good night. 1106 01:20:46,558 --> 01:20:47,923 Good night. 1107 01:21:24,129 --> 01:21:26,324 - Anything? - Not yet. 1108 01:21:27,132 --> 01:21:29,623 But I got some great shots of you biting your nails. 1109 01:21:30,035 --> 01:21:31,400 Well, it's a big story. 1110 01:21:33,372 --> 01:21:34,930 - Incoming. - Really? 1111 01:21:35,040 --> 01:21:36,337 Yep. They're shaking hands. 1112 01:21:36,475 --> 01:21:38,807 This is so great. I can't wait to nail this guy. 1113 01:21:38,944 --> 01:21:40,935 Make sure you get a good shot of his face. 1114 01:21:41,046 --> 01:21:43,446 - What's he look like? - Tall, dark, and handsome. 1115 01:21:43,615 --> 01:21:45,207 Basic principles: 1116 01:21:45,350 --> 01:21:47,716 No matter what, no matter who, no matter when. 1117 01:21:47,853 --> 01:21:49,548 This is killing me. 1118 01:21:49,688 --> 01:21:51,349 Geoff is managing to play it straight. 1119 01:21:51,490 --> 01:21:53,287 How long have you been in love with her? 1120 01:21:53,392 --> 01:21:57,055 Her? About two-and-a-half years. 1121 01:21:59,731 --> 01:22:00,891 Take a look. 1122 01:22:09,007 --> 01:22:12,170 - How'd you get my card? - Albert Brennaman. 1123 01:22:12,277 --> 01:22:14,302 - Great guy, isn't he? - Excellent guy. 1124 01:22:16,715 --> 01:22:18,148 What? Sara. 1125 01:22:24,423 --> 01:22:27,654 - Pleasure to meet you, Geoff. - Hey, what... 1126 01:22:32,264 --> 01:22:35,859 - How'd you get my card? - Albert Brennaman. 1127 01:22:36,101 --> 01:22:38,262 - Great guy, isn't he? - Excellent guy. 1128 01:22:40,605 --> 01:22:42,163 You sure you want to do this? 1129 01:22:42,908 --> 01:22:43,932 Why wouldn't I? 1130 01:22:47,446 --> 01:22:51,906 Louise made an interesting observation on the way home the other night. 1131 01:22:53,051 --> 01:22:56,509 She said people who are guarded are afraid... 1132 01:22:57,556 --> 01:22:59,490 that you can see right through them. 1133 01:22:59,624 --> 01:23:03,890 That's why they hide behind layers of secrecy or humor. 1134 01:23:04,095 --> 01:23:07,462 He'll have to hide behind a lot more than that once this hits the fan. 1135 01:23:08,233 --> 01:23:09,427 She meant you. 1136 01:23:14,773 --> 01:23:16,206 What do you want me to say? 1137 01:23:17,742 --> 01:23:21,906 That I like the guy? Yeah, sure, I liked the guy. 1138 01:23:23,648 --> 01:23:26,082 Well, here's his shirt. 1139 01:23:28,153 --> 01:23:32,112 - Why don't you think about it? Call me. - Thanks. 1140 01:23:43,935 --> 01:23:46,165 Papi, Sara Melas is here to see you. 1141 01:23:47,672 --> 01:23:50,732 Thanks a lot, Raoul. Send her up. And stop calling me papi. 1142 01:24:02,521 --> 01:24:05,820 Well, aren't you a sight for sore eyes. 1143 01:24:07,125 --> 01:24:09,286 I believe this belongs to you. 1144 01:24:13,498 --> 01:24:16,126 Yeah, this thing is like a bad penny. 1145 01:24:16,234 --> 01:24:17,360 Wow! 1146 01:24:18,503 --> 01:24:19,993 So this is it. 1147 01:24:20,705 --> 01:24:22,366 Yeah, this is it. 1148 01:24:24,209 --> 01:24:26,109 Business must be good. 1149 01:24:26,745 --> 01:24:29,339 Well, it has its rewards. 1150 01:24:31,182 --> 01:24:32,513 I'll bet. 1151 01:24:33,985 --> 01:24:35,316 Tough day? 1152 01:24:36,388 --> 01:24:37,685 You could say that. 1153 01:24:39,157 --> 01:24:42,285 Well, you know what? You can just sit back and relax. 1154 01:24:42,394 --> 01:24:44,225 I got this all covered. 1155 01:24:47,399 --> 01:24:49,890 Spanish wine! 1156 01:24:51,703 --> 01:24:54,331 How thoughtful are we? 1157 01:24:54,439 --> 01:24:57,340 - Here, let me pour that for you. - No, that's okay. 1158 01:24:57,943 --> 01:25:00,673 - You want some? - Sure. 1159 01:25:02,447 --> 01:25:04,574 So, Hitch. 1160 01:25:05,250 --> 01:25:08,651 Is that a noun or a verb? 1161 01:25:11,356 --> 01:25:12,618 I guess it depends. 1162 01:25:15,226 --> 01:25:19,026 Let's see, what should we toast to? 1163 01:25:22,200 --> 01:25:25,101 Never lie, steal, cheat, or drink. 1164 01:25:26,104 --> 01:25:29,301 But if you must lie, lie in the arms of the one you love. 1165 01:25:30,241 --> 01:25:33,176 If you must steal, steal away from bad company. 1166 01:25:33,278 --> 01:25:36,042 If you must cheat, cheat death. 1167 01:25:36,948 --> 01:25:38,313 And if you must drink... 1168 01:25:38,883 --> 01:25:42,114 drink in the moments that take your breath away. 1169 01:25:44,389 --> 01:25:45,947 Did you just make that up? 1170 01:25:58,370 --> 01:25:59,769 Make yourself at home. 1171 01:26:00,438 --> 01:26:02,770 I'm gonna check on the risotto. 1172 01:26:04,509 --> 01:26:07,740 Look at this! Which one's the music? 1173 01:26:15,053 --> 01:26:16,850 It does lights, too? 1174 01:26:19,024 --> 01:26:21,515 Let me help you out with that. 1175 01:26:21,660 --> 01:26:24,322 Now, this is nifty. 1176 01:26:25,964 --> 01:26:27,261 What are you doing? 1177 01:26:27,732 --> 01:26:29,825 How does it work, exactly? 1178 01:26:31,469 --> 01:26:36,372 Well, usually you have dinner, then you have dessert. 1179 01:26:37,242 --> 01:26:40,609 No, I mean your thriving business. 1180 01:26:45,050 --> 01:26:46,449 I don't do interviews. 1181 01:26:48,386 --> 01:26:52,117 But if you'd like to get back to the evening, I'd be happy to sit and talk. 1182 01:26:52,223 --> 01:26:54,157 Great idea. You start. 1183 01:26:55,460 --> 01:26:59,988 Well, maybe I would if you weren't snarling. 1184 01:27:06,571 --> 01:27:08,539 What if I told you... 1185 01:27:08,640 --> 01:27:13,577 that I know exactly what you do and how you do it? 1186 01:27:13,712 --> 01:27:15,612 And I think it's despicable! 1187 01:27:15,714 --> 01:27:18,547 You know what? We might need to go out to dinner. 1188 01:27:18,683 --> 01:27:22,244 There's a great seafood restaurant I'd love to take you to. 1189 01:27:24,289 --> 01:27:26,416 How about you just get a cleaver, butcher? 1190 01:27:26,958 --> 01:27:29,927 - Maybe I will! - What the hell is wrong with you? 1191 01:27:30,061 --> 01:27:31,892 Nothing a front-page story can't cure. 1192 01:27:32,030 --> 01:27:33,429 So that's what this is all about? 1193 01:27:33,565 --> 01:27:36,363 Albert and Allegra on the front of your crap-ass newspaper? 1194 01:27:36,468 --> 01:27:38,265 - You put them there! - No, you did! 1195 01:27:38,403 --> 01:27:41,065 No, he did! The minute he called you! 1196 01:28:08,633 --> 01:28:10,692 Dr. Hitch. Listen to me, papi. 1197 01:28:10,802 --> 01:28:14,795 I need to bring my partner, Amir, somewhere amazing for our anniversary. 1198 01:28:15,473 --> 01:28:18,374 Maybe it's not your thing, but maybe it is. 1199 01:28:18,476 --> 01:28:20,444 What the hell are you talking about, Raoul? 1200 01:28:20,578 --> 01:28:22,068 It's you, no? 1201 01:28:42,600 --> 01:28:46,559 So, my friend, how was she? Pretty good? 1202 01:28:50,675 --> 01:28:53,166 How was she? I'll tell you! She was great! 1203 01:29:07,659 --> 01:29:08,921 Isn't that the Date Doctor? 1204 01:29:09,027 --> 01:29:12,155 - I'm telling you, that's him. - He doesn't look anything like him. 1205 01:29:12,297 --> 01:29:14,925 - Excuse me. Do you know him? - No. 1206 01:29:15,400 --> 01:29:18,995 I want you to look me in the eye and tell me that he did not hire you. 1207 01:29:19,137 --> 01:29:22,937 Ma'am, I have never seen this man before in my life. 1208 01:29:23,041 --> 01:29:24,099 See you later, Tony. 1209 01:29:24,209 --> 01:29:26,803 Tony? You have got some serious explaining to do. 1210 01:29:26,911 --> 01:29:28,879 Albert. Hitch. You all right? 1211 01:29:29,013 --> 01:29:31,811 I can't really talk right now. I'm kind of tied up. 1212 01:29:31,916 --> 01:29:33,884 One, two. On three. 1213 01:29:41,926 --> 01:29:43,791 Women will remain seated. 1214 01:29:43,895 --> 01:29:47,058 Men will rotate to the left at the buzzer. 1215 01:29:47,365 --> 01:29:49,390 You get two minutes each, four minutes total. 1216 01:29:49,534 --> 01:29:53,095 So trade your talk time when you hear... 1217 01:29:55,373 --> 01:29:56,567 the gong. 1218 01:29:56,708 --> 01:29:58,608 If it's mutual, you get numbers. 1219 01:29:58,743 --> 01:30:02,235 If not, better luck next time, okay? 1220 01:30:03,114 --> 01:30:05,582 Ladies, take your seats. 1221 01:30:06,951 --> 01:30:11,615 Case, you are a living testimonial to the triumph of hope over experience. 1222 01:30:11,756 --> 01:30:12,916 Thanks for coming. 1223 01:30:13,057 --> 01:30:16,254 I know it's lame. I'm sure it's the last thing you feel like doing. 1224 01:30:16,527 --> 01:30:20,486 I really prefer Rachmaninoff to the heavier romantic composers. 1225 01:30:20,665 --> 01:30:23,725 But despite the pan-Germanic anti-Semitism... 1226 01:30:23,835 --> 01:30:26,929 I'd still have to say my favorite is Wagner. 1227 01:30:29,274 --> 01:30:31,765 - Nice talking to you. - Thank you. Bye. 1228 01:30:31,910 --> 01:30:32,968 Bye. 1229 01:30:34,846 --> 01:30:36,108 Excuse me. 1230 01:30:36,681 --> 01:30:38,273 That's my seat, man. 1231 01:30:40,418 --> 01:30:42,409 My name is Ron. I'm 28. 1232 01:30:42,520 --> 01:30:45,045 Albert Brennaman is a good man. 1233 01:30:45,189 --> 01:30:47,953 In fact, Albert Brennaman is a great man. 1234 01:30:48,092 --> 01:30:50,788 I just got out of a five-year relationship. 1235 01:30:50,929 --> 01:30:53,796 I'm a lot of fun at parties. I like dogs... 1236 01:30:53,932 --> 01:30:56,594 And then you're mad at me for what I do for a living? 1237 01:30:56,701 --> 01:30:58,066 I've already got your number... 1238 01:30:58,169 --> 01:31:00,763 so why don't you go consult your conscience? 1239 01:31:00,872 --> 01:31:03,636 - Albert is in love with her. - Just like Sebastian? 1240 01:31:03,775 --> 01:31:05,675 - Is there a problem? - No, just one sec. 1241 01:31:05,810 --> 01:31:08,574 - What do you have against Allegra anyway? - Nothing. 1242 01:31:08,680 --> 01:31:11,774 My interest is protecting women from assholes like you. 1243 01:31:11,883 --> 01:31:13,578 I did ice climbing once. 1244 01:31:13,685 --> 01:31:15,983 - You don't even know me. - And whose fault is that? 1245 01:31:16,120 --> 01:31:18,918 ...the sun comes up, the ice really starts to fall apart. 1246 01:31:19,023 --> 01:31:20,251 I bet. I'm sorry. 1247 01:31:20,358 --> 01:31:22,451 - Do you know this guy? - Apparently not. 1248 01:31:22,560 --> 01:31:24,187 You're in my seat. 1249 01:31:24,329 --> 01:31:27,821 You really... I'm doing you a favor, believe me. 1250 01:31:27,966 --> 01:31:32,096 Basically, I like outdoor sports. But indoor sports have their place, too. 1251 01:31:32,203 --> 01:31:34,865 There are certain aspects of my job that are secretive. 1252 01:31:35,006 --> 01:31:37,133 And my job is to try to find the truth. 1253 01:31:37,241 --> 01:31:40,870 The truth? You wouldn't know the truth if it kicked you in the head. 1254 01:31:41,012 --> 01:31:43,606 If Albert Brennaman has to take a fall for it, so be it. 1255 01:31:43,715 --> 01:31:45,945 Why don't you say what's really pissing you off? 1256 01:31:46,050 --> 01:31:47,540 I've been waiting to talk to her... 1257 01:31:47,685 --> 01:31:50,153 - You want to sit down? Here you go. Gong! - Thank you. 1258 01:31:50,254 --> 01:31:51,312 Excuse me. 1259 01:31:51,422 --> 01:31:54,482 Hi. Actually, you're not supposed to move. 1260 01:31:54,592 --> 01:31:57,356 I'm Alex Hitchens. No, it's okay. Go. 1261 01:31:57,495 --> 01:31:59,053 - I'm Casey. - Hi, Casey. 1262 01:31:59,197 --> 01:32:02,166 I work for a small publishing house in the press department... 1263 01:32:02,266 --> 01:32:05,326 which isn't actually where I want to be. But it's a good house... 1264 01:32:05,436 --> 01:32:07,996 You handled me. You manipulated me. 1265 01:32:08,106 --> 01:32:11,735 You researched me and you showed me my great-grandfather's signature. 1266 01:32:11,876 --> 01:32:14,003 Wait. You're Ellis Island? 1267 01:32:14,112 --> 01:32:16,012 - I thought that was real sweet. - Thank you. 1268 01:32:16,114 --> 01:32:17,775 Case, you're not helping. 1269 01:32:17,882 --> 01:32:19,509 Excuse me, I'm on a date. 1270 01:32:20,852 --> 01:32:24,515 Does it ever occur to women that maybe a guy might like to have a plan... 1271 01:32:24,622 --> 01:32:26,089 because he's nervous? 1272 01:32:26,224 --> 01:32:30,183 He's not sure that he could just walk up to you and you'd respond if he said: 1273 01:32:30,294 --> 01:32:31,761 "I like you." 1274 01:32:36,200 --> 01:32:39,294 - That sounds good to me. - True, you can't tell them you like them. 1275 01:32:39,404 --> 01:32:42,601 - I tried that. It didn't go well. - I've crashed and burned on that. 1276 01:32:42,740 --> 01:32:45,402 That is what you did, and I did like you! 1277 01:32:45,543 --> 01:32:48,569 I just didn't know I was being worked over by some professional. 1278 01:32:48,679 --> 01:32:50,044 He doesn't have a badge. 1279 01:32:50,715 --> 01:32:52,740 The only time he was sincere or spontaneous... 1280 01:32:52,884 --> 01:32:56,684 was when everything was going wrong or when you were stoned out of your head. 1281 01:32:56,788 --> 01:33:00,087 - I'm sorry to interrupt. Do I know you? - No, I don't think so. 1282 01:33:00,224 --> 01:33:03,091 - You wanna see me be spontaneous? - Sure, you want a Benadryl? 1283 01:33:03,227 --> 01:33:07,789 This is really kind of distracting. And I haven't gotten laid in a year! 1284 01:33:14,138 --> 01:33:16,971 We're sorry. Why don't you guys get back to your date? 1285 01:33:17,842 --> 01:33:20,208 Or go somewhere. 1286 01:33:21,279 --> 01:33:22,507 Maybe from the bank? 1287 01:33:23,114 --> 01:33:26,880 If this doesn't work out, call him. He might hook you up with Paris Hilton. 1288 01:33:26,984 --> 01:33:30,317 Wait, that's it. You're the Date Doctor, right? 1289 01:33:34,959 --> 01:33:37,928 - You're the Date Doctor? - Do we have a problem here? 1290 01:33:38,029 --> 01:33:42,625 Yeah, a big one! What the hell did I ever do to you? 1291 01:33:44,602 --> 01:33:46,001 Am I missing something? 1292 01:33:46,504 --> 01:33:48,563 Sir, I'm gonna have to ask you to leave. 1293 01:33:48,873 --> 01:33:51,501 Why don't you go hit a titty bar with your buddy Vance? 1294 01:33:57,348 --> 01:33:58,440 Wow. 1295 01:34:00,351 --> 01:34:01,545 I don't believe this. 1296 01:34:05,189 --> 01:34:06,554 That's your source? 1297 01:34:07,458 --> 01:34:08,982 You buried yourself, Alex. 1298 01:34:09,660 --> 01:34:11,321 Then you weren't listening. 1299 01:34:11,462 --> 01:34:13,657 I heard every word. 1300 01:34:14,165 --> 01:34:15,792 You're a scam artist. 1301 01:34:15,900 --> 01:34:19,461 - You trick women into getting... - Into getting out of their own way... 1302 01:34:19,570 --> 01:34:23,006 so great guys like Albert Brennaman have a fighting chance. 1303 01:34:23,141 --> 01:34:26,668 No, I want everybody to take a good look at this right now. 1304 01:34:26,811 --> 01:34:28,278 Because this right here... 1305 01:34:28,379 --> 01:34:32,372 this is exactly why falling in love is so goddamn hard. 1306 01:34:33,851 --> 01:34:35,785 Sir, let's go. Now. 1307 01:34:38,823 --> 01:34:41,257 And Vance Munson is a pig! 1308 01:34:41,359 --> 01:34:43,691 And I refused to work with him. 1309 01:34:44,428 --> 01:34:46,157 You need to get your facts right. 1310 01:34:48,432 --> 01:34:51,526 It's because of jerks like him that I even have a job. 1311 01:34:54,572 --> 01:34:55,903 Had a job. 1312 01:35:08,753 --> 01:35:10,186 Can you believe that guy? 1313 01:35:11,455 --> 01:35:14,083 Actually, I do. 1314 01:35:35,479 --> 01:35:36,707 You... 1315 01:35:38,382 --> 01:35:40,179 complete me. 1316 01:35:41,719 --> 01:35:44,119 - I might just have... - Shut up. 1317 01:35:44,822 --> 01:35:46,289 Just shut up. 1318 01:35:47,258 --> 01:35:49,249 You had me at "hello." 1319 01:36:17,421 --> 01:36:18,786 No comment. 1320 01:36:23,327 --> 01:36:27,286 This is off the record. 1321 01:36:32,603 --> 01:36:34,400 I came to apologize. 1322 01:36:34,639 --> 01:36:37,130 I made some assumptions about you... 1323 01:36:37,275 --> 01:36:40,142 based on nothing, it turns out. 1324 01:36:42,980 --> 01:36:46,814 - I guess Casey's right. My best friend... - Don't worry about it. We're straight. 1325 01:36:48,119 --> 01:36:52,146 I should've asked you. But sometimes you're so guarded. 1326 01:36:52,290 --> 01:36:55,691 I just don't wanna be another reason for you to... 1327 01:36:56,727 --> 01:37:00,857 I'm not someone who likes to get involved past a certain point. 1328 01:37:01,032 --> 01:37:04,832 And that point was about a week ago. 1329 01:37:10,908 --> 01:37:15,504 Well, I just want to say I'm really sorry... 1330 01:37:17,081 --> 01:37:18,639 and I didn't mean to hurt you. 1331 01:37:21,218 --> 01:37:22,617 You didn't. 1332 01:37:26,757 --> 01:37:27,985 That's a relief. 1333 01:37:57,054 --> 01:37:59,989 - Hey, fella. - Yeah, good. You? 1334 01:38:02,660 --> 01:38:03,854 What you got there? 1335 01:38:03,994 --> 01:38:08,658 This? I figured maybe if my heart stops beating, it wouldn't hurt so much. 1336 01:38:10,201 --> 01:38:11,498 She hasn't called back? 1337 01:38:15,940 --> 01:38:17,271 You want some coffee? 1338 01:38:22,713 --> 01:38:23,907 I want you to fix it. 1339 01:38:28,552 --> 01:38:29,814 I got nothing, Albert. 1340 01:38:31,889 --> 01:38:34,323 You wanna do something? We should get out tonight. 1341 01:38:34,425 --> 01:38:37,485 Honestly, I never knew I could feel like this. 1342 01:38:37,595 --> 01:38:40,189 I swear I'm going out of my mind. 1343 01:38:41,732 --> 01:38:44,166 I wanna throw myself off of every building in New York. 1344 01:38:44,268 --> 01:38:48,762 I see a cab and I wanna dive in front of it, because then I'll stop thinking about her. 1345 01:38:48,873 --> 01:38:51,603 Look, you will. Just give it time. 1346 01:38:51,709 --> 01:38:54,075 That's just it. I don't want to. 1347 01:38:54,545 --> 01:38:57,639 I've waited my whole life to feel this miserable. 1348 01:38:57,815 --> 01:39:00,511 If this is the only way I can stay connected with her... 1349 01:39:00,618 --> 01:39:02,176 then this is who I have to be. 1350 01:39:02,319 --> 01:39:06,415 No, you don't. You can change, you can adapt. 1351 01:39:07,057 --> 01:39:09,753 You can make it so you don't ever have to feel like this. 1352 01:39:09,860 --> 01:39:10,849 Ever again. 1353 01:39:21,338 --> 01:39:23,499 Oh, my God. You just don't get it, do you? 1354 01:39:24,508 --> 01:39:25,805 I get it. 1355 01:39:27,311 --> 01:39:28,710 Let me get this straight. 1356 01:39:28,879 --> 01:39:32,144 You're selling this stuff, but you don't believe in your own product. 1357 01:39:32,450 --> 01:39:35,248 - Love is my life. - No. Love is your job. 1358 01:39:49,066 --> 01:39:51,591 You wanna jump out a plane without a chute, be my guest. 1359 01:39:51,702 --> 01:39:53,761 But forgive me if I don't join you. 1360 01:39:55,005 --> 01:39:57,200 This isn't about love for you at all, is it? 1361 01:40:00,811 --> 01:40:02,972 This whole time, I thought I was the coward. 1362 01:40:08,052 --> 01:40:10,145 - Where you going? - Skydiving. 1363 01:40:41,252 --> 01:40:42,446 Taxi! 1364 01:41:16,186 --> 01:41:17,517 Mr. Hitchens. 1365 01:41:18,556 --> 01:41:20,854 Miss Cole, thank you very much for seeing me. 1366 01:41:20,958 --> 01:41:23,085 You said it was a matter of life and death. 1367 01:41:24,595 --> 01:41:27,826 That man would've sold his soul to make you happy. 1368 01:41:28,198 --> 01:41:30,894 So what does that make you, the devil? 1369 01:41:33,337 --> 01:41:38,138 My job is not to deceive, Miss Cole. It's to create opportunities. 1370 01:41:39,543 --> 01:41:40,669 Like the boardroom. 1371 01:41:41,445 --> 01:41:43,504 - Would you have noticed him otherwise? - Yes. 1372 01:41:43,614 --> 01:41:45,844 - Really? - Eventually. 1373 01:41:50,421 --> 01:41:51,479 Maybe. 1374 01:41:55,259 --> 01:41:57,386 How did you know all that stuff about me? 1375 01:42:00,064 --> 01:42:01,861 Well, you really did your homework. 1376 01:42:03,834 --> 01:42:07,702 Like at boarding school when everyone used to tease me because I couldn't whistle. 1377 01:42:08,138 --> 01:42:11,574 And having him dance like a buffoon knowing that I can't dance, either. 1378 01:42:12,276 --> 01:42:16,235 Then telling him to drop mustard on his shirt, so I'd feel less like a dork. 1379 01:42:19,883 --> 01:42:21,942 That was all you, right? 1380 01:42:22,586 --> 01:42:24,952 No. Hell, no. 1381 01:42:25,255 --> 01:42:26,347 That was him? 1382 01:42:26,790 --> 01:42:28,951 That's got Albert written all over it. 1383 01:42:30,828 --> 01:42:32,591 Did you put him up to the inhaler? 1384 01:42:33,063 --> 01:42:35,258 Stop it. He did not show you that. 1385 01:42:36,667 --> 01:42:38,692 He chucked it right before he kissed me. 1386 01:42:39,336 --> 01:42:40,633 So, wait... 1387 01:42:41,438 --> 01:42:43,497 that stuff worked for you? 1388 01:42:45,643 --> 01:42:47,008 It was adorable. 1389 01:42:54,818 --> 01:42:56,149 What did you do? 1390 01:42:58,522 --> 01:42:59,750 Nothing. 1391 01:43:05,062 --> 01:43:06,825 Absolutely nothing. 1392 01:43:09,033 --> 01:43:10,261 That's good. 1393 01:43:12,236 --> 01:43:14,796 - This was your plan the whole time? - Albert. 1394 01:43:14,905 --> 01:43:17,032 You sail off into the sunset with my girl? 1395 01:43:21,912 --> 01:43:25,905 You were like a brother to me! 1396 01:43:26,817 --> 01:43:29,547 - He came here for you. - Who? 1397 01:43:29,653 --> 01:43:30,984 The guy you're choking. 1398 01:43:42,633 --> 01:43:44,760 - I love you. - I love you. 1399 01:43:44,868 --> 01:43:46,665 I really love you. 1400 01:43:50,274 --> 01:43:53,266 - I love you more. - I love you more. I really do. 1401 01:43:56,013 --> 01:43:57,446 I got somewhere I gotta go. 1402 01:44:28,879 --> 01:44:31,177 - Yeah, who is it? - Hitch. 1403 01:44:32,716 --> 01:44:33,774 Can I talk to you? 1404 01:44:42,292 --> 01:44:43,259 What? 1405 01:44:45,729 --> 01:44:46,889 You almost hit me. 1406 01:44:51,401 --> 01:44:55,735 Look, I just wanted to stop by, basically. 1407 01:44:57,374 --> 01:44:58,671 See, this is the thing. 1408 01:45:05,048 --> 01:45:08,074 This is weird. I don't have me behind the door, you know. 1409 01:45:09,219 --> 01:45:10,277 Close your mouth. 1410 01:45:13,624 --> 01:45:16,855 Because I knew at some point I'd be... 1411 01:45:18,562 --> 01:45:22,225 right here. But I thought that... 1412 01:45:27,171 --> 01:45:30,163 everything would come out, but it's like... 1413 01:45:31,775 --> 01:45:33,072 That's throwing me off. 1414 01:45:38,649 --> 01:45:41,015 - Can we close the door? - What? 1415 01:45:41,118 --> 01:45:44,576 I'm sorry. Just, can we... I just need... 1416 01:45:44,721 --> 01:45:47,656 - Are you serious? - No, just like this. 1417 01:45:51,762 --> 01:45:53,423 What do you want, Hitch? 1418 01:45:55,532 --> 01:45:56,556 You. 1419 01:45:59,670 --> 01:46:03,504 For a whole lot of reasons that don't make any sense to me. 1420 01:46:04,775 --> 01:46:08,074 I mean, what, we've been on three dates? 1421 01:46:08,912 --> 01:46:10,937 See, that's what's crazy. 1422 01:46:11,114 --> 01:46:13,810 That's what's crazy, because I know. 1423 01:46:14,184 --> 01:46:15,515 I know deep... 1424 01:46:15,619 --> 01:46:20,488 like just down, just in this area... 1425 01:46:21,291 --> 01:46:23,259 that I just know... 1426 01:46:24,862 --> 01:46:26,386 that I want... 1427 01:46:27,164 --> 01:46:31,260 I want to be miserable. 1428 01:46:31,368 --> 01:46:34,166 Like, really miserable. 1429 01:46:34,705 --> 01:46:35,865 Because, hey... 1430 01:46:35,973 --> 01:46:40,535 if that's what it takes for me to be happy then... 1431 01:46:42,779 --> 01:46:44,610 Wait, that didn't come out right. 1432 01:46:44,715 --> 01:46:47,047 What the hell is wrong with you? 1433 01:46:47,150 --> 01:46:50,017 - Nothing! - No, not you. 1434 01:46:51,655 --> 01:46:53,589 I'm talking to me. 1435 01:47:14,711 --> 01:47:16,702 Alex Hitchens, Tom Reda. 1436 01:47:21,251 --> 01:47:22,809 I'll just put this in the car. 1437 01:47:37,000 --> 01:47:38,695 Maybe it's like what you said. 1438 01:47:38,936 --> 01:47:43,032 We should just both go our separate ways and then we'll do just fine. 1439 01:47:54,751 --> 01:47:56,412 What if fine isn't good enough? 1440 01:48:01,792 --> 01:48:03,384 What if I want extraordinary? 1441 01:48:04,728 --> 01:48:05,888 No such thing. 1442 01:48:18,408 --> 01:48:20,501 I'm just as scared as you are, Sara. 1443 01:48:21,278 --> 01:48:24,338 But I'm right here, and our time is right now. 1444 01:48:24,815 --> 01:48:26,305 Well, what about before? 1445 01:48:26,416 --> 01:48:29,715 I am a guy. Since when do we get anything right the first time? 1446 01:48:29,820 --> 01:48:32,288 I'm a realist, and I know what love does to people. 1447 01:48:32,789 --> 01:48:34,416 - No, you don't. - Keys. 1448 01:48:36,593 --> 01:48:39,061 There you go. Right here. 1449 01:48:42,232 --> 01:48:44,996 I don't know who this is, and I don't care. 1450 01:48:45,736 --> 01:48:50,070 What I do know is he'll never feel about you the way that I do. 1451 01:48:52,642 --> 01:48:55,304 - You know how to drive a stick? - Both of you, shut up! 1452 01:49:02,285 --> 01:49:04,776 - You okay? - Yeah. No, I'm fine. 1453 01:49:05,789 --> 01:49:07,882 You'll never be fine, and neither will I! 1454 01:49:11,361 --> 01:49:12,658 Maybe I should drive. 1455 01:49:13,764 --> 01:49:15,925 Are you trying to get yourself killed? 1456 01:49:16,099 --> 01:49:17,532 If that's what it takes. 1457 01:49:17,634 --> 01:49:19,033 Sara, what happened? 1458 01:49:19,136 --> 01:49:21,627 - He jumped on the car. - Why? 1459 01:49:22,406 --> 01:49:24,033 Because that's what people do. 1460 01:49:24,975 --> 01:49:28,342 They leap and hope to God they can fly. 1461 01:49:34,184 --> 01:49:35,412 Because otherwise... 1462 01:49:36,520 --> 01:49:39,045 we just drop like a rock... 1463 01:49:39,723 --> 01:49:41,554 wondering the whole way down: 1464 01:49:42,526 --> 01:49:46,018 "Why in the hell did I jump?" 1465 01:49:47,798 --> 01:49:51,461 But here I am, Sara, falling. 1466 01:49:52,436 --> 01:49:56,566 And there's only one person that makes me feel like I can fly. 1467 01:49:58,975 --> 01:50:00,135 That's you. 1468 01:50:05,482 --> 01:50:08,110 So, you kind of like me? 1469 01:50:09,186 --> 01:50:10,278 No. 1470 01:50:11,455 --> 01:50:12,615 I love you. 1471 01:50:13,990 --> 01:50:16,322 I love you, and I knew it from the first... 1472 01:50:26,970 --> 01:50:29,666 If I say it back now, it'll sound so stupid. 1473 01:50:32,843 --> 01:50:37,041 This is the guy I was telling you about. Hitch, that's my sister, Maria. 1474 01:50:37,147 --> 01:50:38,944 And that's her husband, Tom. 1475 01:50:43,487 --> 01:50:44,749 Her husband. 1476 01:51:26,530 --> 01:51:27,997 Where's your date? 1477 01:51:28,565 --> 01:51:30,089 Don't have one. 1478 01:51:35,972 --> 01:51:37,701 I know. Shocking, huh? 1479 01:51:41,211 --> 01:51:43,941 Oh, my God! 1480 01:51:50,954 --> 01:51:52,182 Are you all right? 1481 01:51:53,823 --> 01:51:55,313 Grandma, what happened? 1482 01:51:55,825 --> 01:51:59,124 This young lady just saved my life. 1483 01:52:03,867 --> 01:52:05,960 Ask her to dance. 1484 01:52:07,237 --> 01:52:09,432 Well, if you insist. 1485 01:52:10,574 --> 01:52:13,566 - I'm Casey. - Charles Wellington. 1486 01:52:14,844 --> 01:52:17,972 - And this... - Forget it. Just go. 1487 01:52:31,595 --> 01:52:33,290 Basic principles: 1488 01:52:34,698 --> 01:52:35,858 There are none. 1489 01:52:36,305 --> 01:52:42,777 Please rate this subtitle at www.osdb.link/fk6k Help other users to choose the best subtitles