1 00:01:39,225 --> 00:01:42,394 This is Zero One Alpha. We have secured Falcon. 2 00:01:42,770 --> 00:01:45,606 I say again, we have secured Falcon. 3 00:01:47,024 --> 00:01:48,234 By the time I count to ten... 4 00:01:48,317 --> 00:01:50,528 ...you will have told me exactly what I need to know. 5 00:01:50,986 --> 00:01:51,946 If not... 6 00:01:52,530 --> 00:01:56,033 ...the number ten will be the last thing you will ever hear. 7 00:01:56,242 --> 00:01:57,076 One 8 00:01:57,368 --> 00:01:58,035 Two 9 00:01:58,369 --> 00:01:58,702 Three 10 00:01:59,495 --> 00:02:00,204 Four 11 00:02:00,704 --> 00:02:01,622 Five 12 00:02:01,747 --> 00:02:02,665 Six 13 00:02:02,873 --> 00:02:03,791 Seven 14 00:02:04,041 --> 00:02:04,542 Eight 15 00:02:04,583 --> 00:02:06,377 Grenade! Sir, get back! 16 00:02:20,724 --> 00:02:22,059 Shit. 17 00:02:22,643 --> 00:02:24,270 Fucking missed it. 18 00:02:24,728 --> 00:02:26,897 How did I fucking miss it? 19 00:02:28,440 --> 00:02:32,695 Merlin, I apologize for putting you in this position. 20 00:02:32,862 --> 00:02:34,405 You trained him well. 21 00:02:35,406 --> 00:02:36,949 James... 22 00:02:37,783 --> 00:02:41,203 training is over. 23 00:02:42,454 --> 00:02:44,456 Welcome to Kingsman. 24 00:02:44,957 --> 00:02:46,250 Lancelot. 25 00:02:46,417 --> 00:02:47,418 Sir. 26 00:02:50,713 --> 00:02:54,758 I'll deal with this mess personally. 27 00:02:59,763 --> 00:03:02,933 I very much regret that your husband's bravery can't be publicly celebrated. 28 00:03:03,267 --> 00:03:04,393 I hope you understand. 29 00:03:04,560 --> 00:03:06,061 How can I understand? 30 00:03:06,228 --> 00:03:08,230 You won't tell me anything. 31 00:03:09,106 --> 00:03:11,609 I didn't even know he wasn't with his squad. 32 00:03:11,775 --> 00:03:12,943 I'm so sorry, I can't say more. 33 00:03:14,653 --> 00:03:16,447 But I would like to present you with this Medal of Valor... 34 00:03:16,614 --> 00:03:20,951 and if you look closely on the back, there's a number. 35 00:03:21,327 --> 00:03:23,829 And as a more concrete gesture of our gratitude... 36 00:03:23,996 --> 00:03:25,915 we'd like to offer you... 37 00:03:27,291 --> 00:03:28,459 Let's call it a favor. 38 00:03:28,626 --> 00:03:30,127 The nature of it is your choice. 39 00:03:30,294 --> 00:03:31,629 Just tell the operator... 40 00:03:32,129 --> 00:03:35,507 "oxfords not brogues," and then I'll know it's you. 41 00:03:36,967 --> 00:03:39,511 I don't want your help! 42 00:03:39,678 --> 00:03:42,097 I want my husband back! 43 00:03:49,939 --> 00:03:51,106 What's your name, young man? 44 00:03:51,690 --> 00:03:52,524 Eggs)'- 45 00:03:52,775 --> 00:03:54,109 Hello, Eggs)!- 46 00:03:55,110 --> 00:03:56,528 Can I see that? 47 00:04:03,327 --> 00:04:05,287 You take care of this, Eggsy. 48 00:04:06,288 --> 00:04:07,665 All right? 49 00:04:11,669 --> 00:04:13,212 And take care of your mum, too. 50 00:04:54,044 --> 00:04:57,715 So sorry, Professor Arnold. Just a tiny bit more. 51 00:04:57,881 --> 00:05:00,384 For God's sakes, just rip it off. 52 00:05:00,551 --> 00:05:04,096 I'm under very strict instructions not to hurt you. 53 00:05:04,263 --> 00:05:06,515 Look, you've made a mistake. 54 00:05:06,682 --> 00:05:09,435 I'm a university lecturer. I've got no money. 55 00:05:09,601 --> 00:05:11,061 This isn't about money. 56 00:05:11,228 --> 00:05:13,188 Our boss just wants to talk to you. 57 00:05:13,439 --> 00:05:15,274 Am I meant to find that reassuring? 58 00:05:15,441 --> 00:05:17,568 He'll be here soon. He'll explain. 59 00:05:18,736 --> 00:05:20,362 Do you like whiskey? 60 00:05:21,030 --> 00:05:23,741 Red, get the '62 Dalmore. 61 00:05:25,075 --> 00:05:28,120 Honestly, this whiskey, it's amazing. 62 00:05:28,454 --> 00:05:30,247 You will shit. 63 00:05:49,767 --> 00:05:52,936 I suppose asking to borrow a cup of sugar is a step too far? 64 00:06:15,834 --> 00:06:19,797 Professor Arnold, I'm here to take you home. 65 00:06:30,599 --> 00:06:32,434 1962 Dalmore. 66 00:06:32,851 --> 00:06:34,686 It'd be a sin to spill any. 67 00:06:35,437 --> 00:06:36,814 Don't you think? 68 00:07:17,729 --> 00:07:19,690 Can you hold these? Please? 69 00:07:33,954 --> 00:07:34,872 Thank you. 70 00:07:41,587 --> 00:07:43,547 Everything is clean. 71 00:07:49,261 --> 00:07:52,055 My kind of welcome. 72 00:07:59,438 --> 00:08:01,565 No stomach for violence. 73 00:08:01,732 --> 00:08:03,650 I mean, literally, I see one drop of blood... 74 00:08:03,817 --> 00:08:05,736 that is me done. 75 00:08:05,903 --> 00:08:07,070 I'm like... 76 00:08:07,237 --> 00:08:08,572 projectile. 77 00:08:08,739 --> 00:08:10,908 Listen, I'm so sorry... 78 00:08:11,074 --> 00:08:16,455 you had to witness all this unpleasantness due to our uninvited guest. 79 00:08:16,622 --> 00:08:20,751 But I promise you, by the time I've found out who he works for... 80 00:08:20,918 --> 00:08:25,255 you and I will be the best of friends. 81 00:08:31,845 --> 00:08:33,889 To the shop, please. 82 00:08:57,204 --> 00:08:58,372 Arthur's in the dining room, sir. 83 00:09:08,882 --> 00:09:10,008 Arthur. 84 00:09:10,217 --> 00:09:11,385 Galahad. 85 00:09:11,635 --> 00:09:16,265 The others were beginning to wonder if we were going to have a double toast. 86 00:09:18,976 --> 00:09:22,938 Gentlemen, I'm thankful to say it's been 17 years... 87 00:09:23,105 --> 00:09:25,482 since we last had occasion to use this decanter. 88 00:09:26,358 --> 00:09:30,779 Lancelot was an outstanding agent, and a true Kingsman. 89 00:09:30,946 --> 00:09:32,364 He will be sorely missed. 90 00:09:33,740 --> 00:09:34,908 To Lancelot. 91 00:09:35,742 --> 00:09:37,411 To Lancelot. 92 00:09:41,456 --> 00:09:46,461 I intend to start the selection process for Lancelot's replacement tomorrow. 93 00:09:46,753 --> 00:09:49,172 I want each of you to propose a candidate... 94 00:09:49,339 --> 00:09:51,675 and have them report to UK HQ... 95 00:09:51,883 --> 00:09:54,011 no later than 9 p.m. GMT. 96 00:09:54,636 --> 00:09:55,470 Thank you. 97 00:09:58,015 --> 00:09:58,849 Merlin. 98 00:09:59,891 --> 00:10:01,518 Come in. 99 00:10:01,977 --> 00:10:04,563 Lancelot was investigating a group of mercenaries... 100 00:10:04,730 --> 00:10:07,441 who were experimenting with biological weaponry. 101 00:10:07,608 --> 00:10:08,609 Glasses, gentlemen, please. 102 00:10:11,278 --> 00:10:13,614 Uganda,2012. 103 00:10:13,780 --> 00:10:15,282 Synthetic cathinones. 104 00:10:15,449 --> 00:10:18,869 They put it in the water supply of a guerrilla army base. 105 00:10:19,036 --> 00:10:22,289 Rage, cannibalism, multiple fatalities. 106 00:10:23,624 --> 00:10:25,125 Chechnya, 2013. 107 00:10:25,459 --> 00:10:27,085 Insurgents turned on one another. 108 00:10:27,252 --> 00:10:31,006 Indisputably, the work of our mercenaries, but no trace of any chemicals of any kind. 109 00:10:31,173 --> 00:10:32,257 So what happened to Lancelot? 110 00:10:33,258 --> 00:10:36,261 He tracked them to this property in Argentina. 111 00:10:36,470 --> 00:10:37,763 While he had them under surveillance... 112 00:10:37,929 --> 00:10:39,765 he became aware they'd effected a kidnapping. 113 00:10:40,599 --> 00:10:44,603 So he executed a solo rescue mission, which failed. 114 00:10:45,479 --> 00:10:46,980 This is his last transmission. 115 00:10:48,982 --> 00:10:51,526 -Who is he? -Some climate change doomsayer. 116 00:10:51,693 --> 00:10:53,195 Expounds something called "Gaia theory"... 117 00:10:53,362 --> 00:10:55,113 about the world healing itself, or some such. 118 00:10:55,280 --> 00:10:59,159 But what's curious, is he's not actually missing. 119 00:10:59,618 --> 00:11:01,953 This is Professor Arnold... 120 00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:04,164 at Imperial College this morning. 121 00:11:05,248 --> 00:11:07,000 It's all yours. 122 00:11:07,209 --> 00:11:09,461 And don't forget your membership proposal. 123 00:11:09,628 --> 00:11:12,714 Try picking a more suitable candidate this time. 124 00:11:12,881 --> 00:11:14,758 17 years and still... 125 00:11:14,925 --> 00:11:18,553 evolving with the times remains an entirely foreign concept to you. 126 00:11:18,762 --> 00:11:21,807 Need I remind you, I wouldn't be here if it weren't for that young man? 127 00:11:21,973 --> 00:11:24,559 He was as much Kingsman material as any of them. 128 00:11:24,726 --> 00:11:25,936 More so. 129 00:11:26,103 --> 00:11:29,106 But he wasn't exactly one of us, was he? 130 00:11:29,898 --> 00:11:33,485 Let's face it, Galahad, your little experiment failed. 131 00:11:35,153 --> 00:11:37,698 With respect, Arthur, you're a snob. 132 00:11:37,864 --> 00:11:38,949 "With respect"? 133 00:11:40,158 --> 00:11:42,327 The world is changing. 134 00:11:42,494 --> 00:11:46,498 There's a reason why aristocrats developed weak chins. 135 00:12:05,225 --> 00:12:05,976 Eggsy? 136 00:12:08,520 --> 00:12:10,188 Eggsy, come here. 137 00:12:13,483 --> 00:12:15,193 -Got any Rizla, babe? -No. 138 00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:17,404 Why don't you do your mum a favor, go down to the shop and get some? 139 00:12:17,571 --> 00:12:18,864 -Get them yourself. -Oi. 140 00:12:19,030 --> 00:12:21,700 What have I said to you about speaking to Dean like that? 141 00:12:21,867 --> 00:12:25,328 Three's a crowd, innit? Why don't Dean's poodle go? 142 00:12:25,495 --> 00:12:26,955 I'll tell you what. 143 00:12:27,122 --> 00:12:28,874 Why don't you take this, go and get some Rizlas... 144 00:12:29,040 --> 00:12:30,876 get yourself some sweets? And while you're gone... 145 00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:34,963 we'll show your mother how three can be good company. 146 00:12:37,549 --> 00:12:38,383 Thanks, babe. 147 00:12:46,266 --> 00:12:47,976 There we go. 148 00:12:48,977 --> 00:12:50,145 Is that better? 149 00:13:04,910 --> 00:13:07,329 If Dean treats your mum so bad, why doesn't she leave him? 150 00:13:07,496 --> 00:13:09,456 Low self-esteem. That's her problem. 151 00:13:09,623 --> 00:13:11,374 Fuck off. Why would she have low self-esteem? 152 00:13:11,541 --> 00:13:13,376 Eggsy's mum is well fit. 153 00:13:13,710 --> 00:13:15,879 -No offense, bruv. -It's all right. 154 00:13:16,797 --> 00:13:19,132 One of these days, I'm gonna smash his face in. 155 00:13:19,299 --> 00:13:20,717 Are you mental, cuz? 156 00:13:20,884 --> 00:13:23,553 He'd just get that lot to do you, and then pretend he knew nothing-- 157 00:13:26,056 --> 00:13:26,932 ...about it. 158 00:13:27,474 --> 00:13:29,768 You think you can chat shit about us and we won't do nothing... 159 00:13:29,935 --> 00:13:32,062 just because our guvnor's banging Eggsy's mum? 160 00:13:32,229 --> 00:13:34,064 Pretty much, yeah. 161 00:13:34,231 --> 00:13:36,399 Bruv, just leave it. Let's just go, man. 162 00:13:36,566 --> 00:13:37,484 It's not worth it. 163 00:13:37,651 --> 00:13:40,237 You boys have outstayed your welcome. 164 00:13:40,570 --> 00:13:41,404 Leave. 165 00:13:43,323 --> 00:13:44,324 What? 166 00:13:45,075 --> 00:13:46,910 I'm sorry about that, bruv. 167 00:13:49,996 --> 00:13:50,789 Yeah. 168 00:13:51,081 --> 00:13:52,123 Mug. 169 00:13:54,251 --> 00:13:56,419 They weren't fucking worth it, boys. 170 00:13:57,462 --> 00:14:00,757 It's freezing. Why are we walking? 171 00:14:00,924 --> 00:14:02,759 You jacked his fucking car keys, bruv? 172 00:14:02,926 --> 00:14:05,428 Yeah. Now, we're gonna nick his car. 173 00:14:06,137 --> 00:14:07,430 Shit! 174 00:14:13,311 --> 00:14:14,813 Hold on, boys. 175 00:14:17,315 --> 00:14:19,025 Hey, that's my fucking car! 176 00:14:19,192 --> 00:14:21,444 Hey! Hey! Eggsy! 177 00:14:21,611 --> 00:14:23,655 I swear, you want to fucking stop it! 178 00:14:23,822 --> 00:14:26,366 You're a fucking dead man! Stop it! 179 00:14:29,286 --> 00:14:30,287 I'm gonna fucking have ya! 180 00:14:35,458 --> 00:14:36,960 Floor it, Eggsy! 181 00:14:37,127 --> 00:14:37,961 Floor it! 182 00:14:38,837 --> 00:14:40,088 Wanker! 183 00:14:41,923 --> 00:14:43,425 Yeah, Dean. Look, it's me. 184 00:14:43,592 --> 00:14:45,594 Eggsy just stole my fucking car. 185 00:14:45,760 --> 00:14:48,597 I've come out the pub, he's done 15 donuts in my fucking face... 186 00:14:48,763 --> 00:14:50,307 and he's drove off. 187 00:14:50,473 --> 00:14:52,601 No, I can't have it! He's disrespecting me. 188 00:14:52,767 --> 00:14:54,978 And that means, he's disrespecting you. 189 00:14:55,145 --> 00:14:57,981 Hold up! What the...? 190 00:15:38,855 --> 00:15:39,689 Dickhead. 191 00:15:41,733 --> 00:15:43,652 Foxes are vermin, cuz. 192 00:15:43,818 --> 00:15:45,236 Should've driven it over. 193 00:15:45,403 --> 00:15:47,364 Should've done a lot of things. 194 00:15:47,530 --> 00:15:49,199 I'll sort this. Get out of the car. 195 00:15:49,908 --> 00:15:51,868 I said, get out of the fucking car! 196 00:16:00,460 --> 00:16:03,838 Eggsy, there is no such thing as honor amongst thieves. 197 00:16:04,839 --> 00:16:08,551 Now, you can start giving me some names of the boys you were with... 198 00:16:09,219 --> 00:16:10,553 or you go down. 199 00:16:11,429 --> 00:16:12,764 It's up to you. 200 00:16:13,974 --> 00:16:15,558 I want to exercise my right to a phone call. 201 00:16:18,353 --> 00:16:21,773 Well, I hope it's to your mum... 202 00:16:21,940 --> 00:16:25,443 to tell her you're gonna be 18 months late for your dinner. 203 00:16:56,391 --> 00:16:58,768 Customer Complaints, how may I help you? 204 00:16:59,561 --> 00:17:01,104 My name's Eggsy Unwin. 205 00:17:01,271 --> 00:17:05,775 Sorry, Gary Unwin. And I'm up shit creek. 206 00:17:05,942 --> 00:17:07,193 I'm in Holborn police station... 207 00:17:07,360 --> 00:17:09,029 and my mum said to call this number if ever I needed help. 208 00:17:09,195 --> 00:17:11,698 I'm sorry, sir. Wrong number. 209 00:17:11,865 --> 00:17:13,199 Wait! Wait! 210 00:17:14,784 --> 00:17:17,203 Oxfords not brogues. 211 00:17:18,955 --> 00:17:20,331 Your complaint has been duly noted... 212 00:17:20,498 --> 00:17:23,626 and we hope that we have not lost you as a loyal customer. 213 00:17:34,971 --> 00:17:36,056 Yeah. 214 00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:38,975 You what? 215 00:17:40,310 --> 00:17:41,352 216 00:17:41,644 --> 00:17:42,812 Yeah. 217 00:17:43,521 --> 00:17:46,149 Yes, I totally understand. 218 00:18:05,543 --> 00:18:06,753 Eggs)'- 219 00:18:07,754 --> 00:18:08,880 Would you like a lift home? 220 00:18:09,756 --> 00:18:10,840 Who are you? 221 00:18:11,007 --> 00:18:12,342 The man who got you released. 222 00:18:12,509 --> 00:18:13,843 That ain't an answer. 223 00:18:14,177 --> 00:18:16,346 A little gratitude would be nice. 224 00:18:17,347 --> 00:18:20,850 My name is Harry Hart, and I gave you that medal. 225 00:18:22,393 --> 00:18:24,395 Your father saved my life. 226 00:18:27,690 --> 00:18:29,818 So before you was a tailor, was you in the army? 227 00:18:30,360 --> 00:18:31,694 Like an officer. 228 00:18:31,861 --> 00:18:33,363 Not quite. 229 00:18:33,530 --> 00:18:35,323 So where was you posted, Iraq or something? 230 00:18:35,490 --> 00:18:37,742 Sorry, Eggsy. Classified. 231 00:18:38,827 --> 00:18:40,370 But my dad saved your life, yeah? 232 00:18:41,412 --> 00:18:44,916 The day your father died, I missed something. 233 00:18:46,042 --> 00:18:47,168 And if it weren't for his courage... 234 00:18:47,335 --> 00:18:50,255 my mistake would have cost the lives of every man present. 235 00:18:51,339 --> 00:18:52,674 So I owe him. 236 00:18:53,925 --> 00:18:55,885 Your father was a brave man. 237 00:18:57,095 --> 00:18:58,888 A good man. 238 00:18:59,055 --> 00:19:00,098 And having read your files... 239 00:19:00,265 --> 00:19:02,684 I think he'd be bitterly disappointed in the choices you've made. 240 00:19:02,851 --> 00:19:04,018 You can't talk to me like that. 241 00:19:04,185 --> 00:19:05,061 Huge l.Q. 242 00:19:05,228 --> 00:19:07,105 Great performance at primary school. 243 00:19:08,022 --> 00:19:09,357 And it all went tits up. 244 00:19:09,524 --> 00:19:12,235 Drugs, petty crime. Never had a job. 245 00:19:12,402 --> 00:19:14,070 You think there's a lot of jobs going around here, do you? 246 00:19:14,237 --> 00:19:15,738 Doesn't explain why you gave up your hobbies. 247 00:19:15,905 --> 00:19:18,491 First prize, regional Under-10s gymnastics... 248 00:19:18,658 --> 00:19:19,868 two years in a row. 249 00:19:20,034 --> 00:19:22,245 Your coach had you pegged as Olympic team material. 250 00:19:22,412 --> 00:19:24,080 Yeah, well, when you grow up around someone like my stepdad... 251 00:19:24,247 --> 00:19:25,707 you pick up new hobbies pretty quick. 252 00:19:25,874 --> 00:19:27,584 Of course. Always someone else's fault. 253 00:19:29,335 --> 00:19:31,004 Who's to blame for you quitting the Marines? 254 00:19:31,171 --> 00:19:33,548 You were halfway through training, doing brilliantly, but you gave up. 255 00:19:33,715 --> 00:19:35,717 Because my mum went mental. 256 00:19:35,884 --> 00:19:38,678 Banging on about losing me as well as my dad. 257 00:19:38,845 --> 00:19:41,264 Didn't want me being cannon fodder for snobs like you. 258 00:19:41,431 --> 00:19:43,850 Judging people like me from your ivory towers... 259 00:19:44,017 --> 00:19:46,227 with no thought about why we do what we do. 260 00:19:46,686 --> 00:19:49,272 We ain't got much choice. You get me? 261 00:19:49,731 --> 00:19:52,108 And if we was born with the same silver spoon up our arses... 262 00:19:52,275 --> 00:19:55,111 we'd do just as well as you. If not, better. 263 00:19:55,278 --> 00:19:58,114 What the fuck you doing here? You taking the piss? 264 00:19:59,908 --> 00:20:01,075 Some more examples of young men... 265 00:20:01,242 --> 00:20:02,952 who simply need a silver suppository? 266 00:20:03,119 --> 00:20:04,621 No, they're exceptions. Come on. 267 00:20:04,787 --> 00:20:06,247 Nonsense. We haven't finished our drinks. 268 00:20:06,414 --> 00:20:07,498 After you nicked his car... 269 00:20:07,665 --> 00:20:08,958 Dean says you're fair game. 270 00:20:09,125 --> 00:20:10,585 He don't give a shit what your mum says. 271 00:20:10,793 --> 00:20:12,128 Listen, boys... 272 00:20:13,504 --> 00:20:15,465 I've had a rather emotional day... 273 00:20:15,632 --> 00:20:19,969 so whatever your beef with Eggsy is, and I'm sure it's well-founded... 274 00:20:20,303 --> 00:20:21,804 I'd appreciate it enormously... 275 00:20:21,971 --> 00:20:23,932 if you could just leave us in peace... 276 00:20:24,098 --> 00:20:26,643 until I finish this lovely pint of Guinness. 277 00:20:29,812 --> 00:20:32,357 You should get out of the way, Granddad, or you'll get hurt and all. 278 00:20:32,649 --> 00:20:33,983 He ain't joking. You should go. 279 00:20:40,823 --> 00:20:41,991 Excuse me. 280 00:20:43,826 --> 00:20:46,537 If you're looking for another rent boy, they're on the corner of Smith street. 281 00:20:52,502 --> 00:20:53,795 Manners... 282 00:20:55,004 --> 00:20:56,297 maketh... 283 00:20:59,050 --> 00:21:00,551 man. 284 00:21:08,059 --> 00:21:09,811 Do you know what that means? 285 00:21:11,688 --> 00:21:13,856 Then let me teach you a lesson. 286 00:21:22,699 --> 00:21:25,743 Are we going to stand around here all day, or are we going to fight? 287 00:22:10,538 --> 00:22:13,541 You fucking dirty, fucking dirty-- 288 00:22:54,791 --> 00:22:56,209 Sorry about that. 289 00:22:56,376 --> 00:22:58,127 Needed to let off a little steam. 290 00:22:59,295 --> 00:23:02,799 I heard yesterday a friend of mine died. 291 00:23:02,965 --> 00:23:05,009 He knew your father too, actually. 292 00:23:07,512 --> 00:23:09,639 Now, I do apologize, Eggsy. 293 00:23:09,806 --> 00:23:11,808 I shouldn't have done this in front of you. 294 00:23:11,974 --> 00:23:13,976 No, please! I won't say nothing, I swear! 295 00:23:14,143 --> 00:23:15,645 If there's one thing I can do, it's keep my mouth shut. 296 00:23:15,812 --> 00:23:17,146 -You won't tell a soul? -Ask the feds. 297 00:23:17,313 --> 00:23:18,314 I've never grassed anyone up. 298 00:23:18,481 --> 00:23:20,817 -Is that a promise? -On my life! 299 00:23:24,987 --> 00:23:26,823 Much appreciated, Eggsy. 300 00:23:26,989 --> 00:23:28,741 You're right about the snobs. 301 00:23:28,908 --> 00:23:31,160 But there, too, there are exceptions. 302 00:23:32,078 --> 00:23:33,871 Best of luck with everything. 303 00:23:48,219 --> 00:23:52,432 In celebrity news, the Richmond Valentine movie premiered in Hollywood last night. 304 00:23:52,598 --> 00:23:55,393 The story of the Internet billionaire's rise to power... 305 00:23:55,560 --> 00:23:58,354 is expected to be this award season's hot ticket. 306 00:23:58,521 --> 00:24:01,524 One notable absence from the red carpet was Iggy Azalea... 307 00:24:01,691 --> 00:24:05,194 still missing three days after she failed to appear at her Oakland concert. 308 00:24:05,361 --> 00:24:06,904 No ransom has been demanded. 309 00:24:07,071 --> 00:24:09,031 Eggsy, just go, please, because he's gonna... 310 00:24:10,241 --> 00:24:11,701 No, please, don't hurt him! 311 00:24:11,868 --> 00:24:13,578 Fuck off! Get the fuck away with ya! 312 00:24:13,744 --> 00:24:14,954 Shut the fuck up! 313 00:24:15,121 --> 00:24:17,248 Who was with you in that fucking pub? 314 00:24:17,415 --> 00:24:19,542 I want to know the name of the geezer you was with. 315 00:24:19,709 --> 00:24:21,544 -I wasn't with no one! -Who was it? 316 00:24:21,711 --> 00:24:23,129 -I don't know what you're on about. -Who was it? 317 00:24:23,296 --> 00:24:24,422 I don't know who you're fucking on about! 318 00:24:24,589 --> 00:24:25,715 Fucking tell me his name! 319 00:24:25,882 --> 00:24:28,217 I don't know who you're fucking on about! 320 00:24:32,430 --> 00:24:33,431 You listen to me! 321 00:24:33,598 --> 00:24:35,558 I want to know who you was with in that pub. Do you understand? 322 00:24:35,725 --> 00:24:37,602 I want to know his fucking name! 323 00:24:37,768 --> 00:24:40,730 Because, I swear, I'll rip your head off. 324 00:24:40,897 --> 00:24:43,941 -Tell me! -I don't know what you're fucking on about! 325 00:24:44,108 --> 00:24:45,151 Just tell him, Eggsy! 326 00:24:45,318 --> 00:24:47,111 Fuck off! Fuck off, Michelle! 327 00:24:47,278 --> 00:24:48,571 I could kill you right now... 328 00:24:48,738 --> 00:24:51,240 and no one in the whole world will notice! 329 00:24:51,407 --> 00:24:53,075 But I would. 330 00:24:53,242 --> 00:24:55,077 I have enough evidence on your activities... 331 00:24:55,244 --> 00:24:57,246 to have you looked up for the rest of your life... 332 00:24:57,413 --> 00:24:59,624 -Mr. Dean Anthony Baker. -What the fuck? 333 00:24:59,832 --> 00:25:01,417 So I suggest you leave the boy alone... 334 00:25:01,584 --> 00:25:05,171 or I shall be forced to deliver it to the appropriate authorities. 335 00:25:06,172 --> 00:25:08,716 Eggsy, meet me at the tailor I told you about. 336 00:25:08,883 --> 00:25:11,344 What the fuck's going on here? 337 00:25:13,304 --> 00:25:14,514 Eggsy, you fucking maggot! 338 00:25:14,680 --> 00:25:15,890 Hey, we got a racer! 339 00:25:16,057 --> 00:25:17,517 Come here. Hey! 340 00:25:18,226 --> 00:25:19,352 Eggsy. you fucking-- 341 00:25:19,519 --> 00:25:20,811 Come here, son! 342 00:25:33,241 --> 00:25:34,325 You wanker! 343 00:25:34,492 --> 00:25:36,118 I'll have you, son! 344 00:26:01,561 --> 00:26:03,563 I've never met a tailor before. 345 00:26:04,397 --> 00:26:05,731 But I know you ain't one. 346 00:26:09,694 --> 00:26:11,362 Come with me. 347 00:26:20,037 --> 00:26:21,330 Come on in. 348 00:26:27,044 --> 00:26:28,045 What do you see? 349 00:26:28,337 --> 00:26:31,549 Someone who wants to know what the fuck is going on. 350 00:26:33,259 --> 00:26:35,595 I see a young man with potential. 351 00:26:36,929 --> 00:26:38,681 A young man who is loyal. 352 00:26:39,849 --> 00:26:41,559 Who can do as he's asked. 353 00:26:41,726 --> 00:26:44,520 And who wants to do something good with his life. 354 00:26:46,105 --> 00:26:48,107 Did you see the film Trading Places? 355 00:26:48,858 --> 00:26:50,192 No. 356 00:26:50,610 --> 00:26:52,111 How about Nikita? 357 00:26:53,195 --> 00:26:54,530 Pretty Woman ? 358 00:26:55,448 --> 00:26:56,532 All right. 359 00:26:56,699 --> 00:26:59,702 My point is, that the lack of a silver spoon has set you on a certain path... 360 00:26:59,869 --> 00:27:01,704 but you needn't stay on it. 361 00:27:01,954 --> 00:27:06,792 If you're prepared to adapt and learn, you can transform. 362 00:27:07,376 --> 00:27:09,211 Like in My Fair Lady. 363 00:27:10,254 --> 00:27:12,298 Well, you're full of surprises. 364 00:27:12,548 --> 00:27:15,259 Yes, like My Fair Lady. 365 00:27:16,302 --> 00:27:19,597 Only, in this case, I'm offering you the opportunity to become a Kingsman. 366 00:27:20,264 --> 00:27:21,599 A tailor? 367 00:27:22,099 --> 00:27:23,392 A Kingsman agent. 368 00:27:24,977 --> 00:27:26,228 Like a spy? 369 00:27:26,437 --> 00:27:27,563 Of sorts. 370 00:27:29,565 --> 00:27:30,399 Interested? 371 00:27:31,067 --> 00:27:33,235 You think I've got anything to lose? 372 00:27:40,409 --> 00:27:41,744 Since 1849... 373 00:27:41,911 --> 00:27:46,082 Kingsman tailors have clothed the world's most powerful individuals. 374 00:27:46,248 --> 00:27:50,920 By 1919, a great number of them had lost their heirs to World War One. 375 00:27:51,754 --> 00:27:55,091 That meant a lot of money going uninherited. 376 00:27:55,257 --> 00:27:59,261 And a lot of powerful men with a desire to preserve peace and protect life. 377 00:27:59,428 --> 00:28:02,348 Our founders realized that they could channel that wealth and influence... 378 00:28:02,515 --> 00:28:04,141 for the greater good. 379 00:28:04,308 --> 00:28:07,603 And so began our other venture. 380 00:28:08,437 --> 00:28:10,773 An independent, international intelligence agency... 381 00:28:10,940 --> 00:28:14,276 operating at the highest level of discretion. 382 00:28:15,069 --> 00:28:16,570 Above the politics and bureaucracy... 383 00:28:16,737 --> 00:28:20,908 that undermine the integrity of government-run spy organizations. 384 00:28:21,659 --> 00:28:23,994 The suit is a modern gentleman's armor. 385 00:28:24,829 --> 00:28:27,915 And the Kingsman agents are the new knights. 386 00:28:28,999 --> 00:28:30,584 How deep does this fucking thing go? 387 00:28:30,751 --> 00:28:31,794 Deep enough. 388 00:29:16,464 --> 00:29:18,174 Shit, we're late. 389 00:29:42,823 --> 00:29:45,367 Your father had the same look on his face. 390 00:29:47,036 --> 00:29:48,412 As did I. 391 00:29:50,080 --> 00:29:51,207 Come on. 392 00:29:54,001 --> 00:29:55,044 Galahad. 393 00:29:55,211 --> 00:29:56,212 My code name. 394 00:29:56,378 --> 00:29:57,838 Late again, sir. 395 00:29:58,214 --> 00:29:59,507 Good luck. 396 00:29:59,882 --> 00:30:01,217 In you go. 397 00:30:12,728 --> 00:30:13,896 Fall in. 398 00:30:16,106 --> 00:30:18,943 Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Merlin. 399 00:30:19,109 --> 00:30:20,194 You are about to embark... 400 00:30:20,361 --> 00:30:23,072 on what is probably the most dangerous job interview in the world. 401 00:30:23,906 --> 00:30:28,744 One of you, and only one of you, will become the next Lancelot. 402 00:30:29,537 --> 00:30:32,748 Can anybody tell me what this is? 403 00:30:33,624 --> 00:30:35,251 -Yes? -Body bag, sir. 404 00:30:35,417 --> 00:30:37,711 Correct. Charlie, isn't it? 405 00:30:37,920 --> 00:30:38,796 Yes, sir. 406 00:30:38,963 --> 00:30:39,713 Good. 407 00:30:39,880 --> 00:30:42,258 In a moment, you will each collect a body bag. 408 00:30:42,424 --> 00:30:44,260 You will write your name on that bag. 409 00:30:44,593 --> 00:30:47,847 You will write the details of your next of kin on that bag. 410 00:30:48,013 --> 00:30:51,267 This represents your acknowledgment of the risks that you are about to face... 411 00:30:51,600 --> 00:30:54,728 as well as your agreement to strict confidentiality. 412 00:30:54,895 --> 00:30:57,940 Which, incidentally, if you break, will result in you... 413 00:30:58,232 --> 00:31:00,568 and your next of kin... 414 00:31:01,026 --> 00:31:02,611 being in that bag. 415 00:31:04,280 --> 00:31:05,698 Is that understood? 416 00:31:07,199 --> 00:31:08,367 Excellent. 417 00:31:08,951 --> 00:31:10,244 Fall out. 418 00:31:17,543 --> 00:31:19,962 Roxanne. But call me Roxy. 419 00:31:20,713 --> 00:31:22,131 -I'm Eggsy. -"Eggy"? 420 00:31:22,298 --> 00:31:23,257 No, "Eggsy." 421 00:31:23,424 --> 00:31:24,758 Eggy? 422 00:31:24,925 --> 00:31:26,051 Where did they dig you up? 423 00:31:26,218 --> 00:31:28,304 You know we're not allowed to discuss who proposed us. 424 00:31:28,470 --> 00:31:29,763 No need to bite his head off. 425 00:31:29,930 --> 00:31:32,266 Charlie's only making conversation, right, Charlie? 426 00:31:32,892 --> 00:31:34,101 I'm Digby. 427 00:31:35,394 --> 00:31:36,061 Digby. 428 00:31:36,228 --> 00:31:37,646 Eggy, this is Rufus. 429 00:31:37,813 --> 00:31:39,315 Rufus, Egg)!- 430 00:31:41,483 --> 00:31:44,278 So, Eggy, are you Oxford or Cambridge? 431 00:31:44,778 --> 00:31:45,446 Neither. 432 00:31:45,613 --> 00:31:46,906 -Saint Andrews? -Durham? 433 00:31:47,072 --> 00:31:48,991 No, wait, I think we may have met. 434 00:31:49,158 --> 00:31:52,912 Did you serve me at the McDonald's in Winchester service station? 435 00:31:53,078 --> 00:31:53,829 No. 436 00:31:53,996 --> 00:31:56,457 But if I had, I would have given you an extra helping of secret sauce. 437 00:31:57,249 --> 00:31:59,752 It's definitely Saint Andrews. 438 00:32:00,336 --> 00:32:01,503 Just ignore them. 439 00:32:01,670 --> 00:32:02,755 You need a pen? 440 00:32:02,922 --> 00:32:03,672 Cheers. 441 00:32:03,839 --> 00:32:05,257 Amelia, isn't it? 442 00:32:05,424 --> 00:32:06,842 Amelia, Eggs)!- 443 00:32:07,009 --> 00:32:08,177 Hi, Eggs)!- 444 00:32:08,510 --> 00:32:10,262 Don't take any notice of those guys. 445 00:32:10,429 --> 00:32:12,139 That's what I told him. 446 00:32:14,433 --> 00:32:15,643 It's just scare tactics. 447 00:32:16,018 --> 00:32:17,519 Classic army technique. 448 00:32:17,853 --> 00:32:18,854 No one's gonna die. 449 00:32:22,983 --> 00:32:24,193 Shame. 450 00:32:26,320 --> 00:32:28,530 Great. You don't know, the CIA don't know. 451 00:32:28,697 --> 00:32:31,200 Nobody knows who this guy is? 452 00:32:31,951 --> 00:32:32,952 Fine. 453 00:32:33,118 --> 00:32:34,495 Seriously, it's fine. 454 00:32:34,662 --> 00:32:38,540 Well, it's not really fine, but it's not why I'm here. 455 00:32:38,707 --> 00:32:42,169 Hell, man, you know me. Money's not my issue. 456 00:32:42,336 --> 00:32:44,046 I could've retired straight out of MIT... 457 00:32:44,213 --> 00:32:46,674 fucked off to some island, let the business run itself. 458 00:32:46,840 --> 00:32:49,593 Nobody told me to try and save the planet. 459 00:32:49,760 --> 00:32:51,387 I wanted to. 460 00:32:51,553 --> 00:32:55,265 Climate change research, lobbying, years of study, billions of dollars... 461 00:32:55,432 --> 00:32:57,226 and you know why I quit? 462 00:32:57,685 --> 00:33:02,439 Because the last time I checked, the planet was still fucked. 463 00:33:02,773 --> 00:33:05,275 Hence, my epiphany- 464 00:33:05,442 --> 00:33:08,195 Money won't solve this. 465 00:33:08,570 --> 00:33:11,031 Those idiots who call themselves politicians... 466 00:33:11,198 --> 00:33:15,244 have buried their heads in the sand and stood for nothing but re-election. 467 00:33:16,036 --> 00:33:20,374 So I spent the last two years trying to find a real solution. 468 00:33:20,958 --> 00:33:22,876 And I found it. 469 00:33:23,961 --> 00:33:27,089 Now, if you really want to make the world a better place... 470 00:33:27,256 --> 00:33:31,719 I suggest you open your fucking ears, because I'm about to tell it to you. 471 00:33:31,927 --> 00:33:33,762 Go on, Mr. Valentine. 472 00:33:33,929 --> 00:33:35,431 I'm still listening. 473 00:33:36,223 --> 00:33:40,102 As long as you agree to all my terms. 474 00:34:28,317 --> 00:34:29,860 All right, no one panic. Listen to me. 475 00:34:30,110 --> 00:34:31,153 Stay calm. 476 00:34:31,987 --> 00:34:32,696 Fuck. 477 00:34:34,823 --> 00:34:36,366 Loo snorkels, loo snorkels! 478 00:34:36,658 --> 00:34:37,618 Loo snorkels? 479 00:34:37,785 --> 00:34:38,619 Showerheads! 480 00:34:39,828 --> 00:34:40,662 Showerheads? 481 00:34:40,829 --> 00:34:42,289 She's right. Fucking go! 482 00:34:44,208 --> 00:34:46,710 Hey, hang about, what's wrong with the fucking door? 483 00:36:10,419 --> 00:36:13,213 Congratulations on completing your first task. 484 00:36:13,463 --> 00:36:16,133 Charlie, Roxy, well done. 485 00:36:16,300 --> 00:36:18,093 For those of you who are still confused... 486 00:36:18,260 --> 00:36:20,429 if you can get a breathing tube around a U-bend of a toilet... 487 00:36:20,596 --> 00:36:22,431 you have an unlimited air supply. 488 00:36:22,598 --> 00:36:25,100 Simple physics, worth remembering. 489 00:36:25,267 --> 00:36:28,562 Eggsy, well done for spotting that was a two-way mirror. 490 00:36:28,729 --> 00:36:29,730 He's probably seen enough of them. 491 00:36:29,897 --> 00:36:32,774 Yeah, you can all wipe those smirks off your faces. 492 00:36:32,941 --> 00:36:36,778 Because as far as I'm concerned, every single one of you has failed. 493 00:36:37,112 --> 00:36:40,157 You all forgot the most important thing... 494 00:36:41,158 --> 00:36:42,451 teamwork. 495 00:36:56,632 --> 00:36:59,301 So much for classic army technique. 496 00:37:02,471 --> 00:37:03,722 35. 497 00:37:04,389 --> 00:37:05,766 105. 498 00:37:06,391 --> 00:37:08,727 That's it. That's it. 499 00:37:13,315 --> 00:37:13,982 Hello. 500 00:37:14,775 --> 00:37:15,817 Can I help you? 501 00:37:15,984 --> 00:37:19,363 Yes. I have a question about anthropogenic force. 502 00:37:20,822 --> 00:37:23,951 Really? It's actually quite fascinating. 503 00:37:25,827 --> 00:37:27,496 My colleague died trying to rescue you... 504 00:37:27,663 --> 00:37:29,373 and I'm sure you saw how well trained he was... 505 00:37:29,539 --> 00:37:32,125 so I suggest you tell me who kidnapped you and why they let you go. 506 00:37:32,292 --> 00:37:34,044 I have no idea what you're talking-- 507 00:37:34,836 --> 00:37:37,089 I'm not supposed to say it, but it was-— 508 00:37:37,464 --> 00:37:39,174 For God's sake, I've barely touched you. 509 00:37:39,341 --> 00:37:40,634 Man up! 510 00:38:01,488 --> 00:38:03,407 Fuck that guy, whoever he is. I'm gonna-- 511 00:38:04,950 --> 00:38:06,910 He made me kill Professor Arnold. 512 00:38:07,077 --> 00:38:08,412 I goddamn loved Professor Arnold. 513 00:38:08,578 --> 00:38:09,621 Well, the good news is... 514 00:38:09,788 --> 00:38:11,581 we know the emergency and surveillance system work. 515 00:38:11,748 --> 00:38:13,709 You know what's not good news? 516 00:38:13,875 --> 00:38:15,585 "My colleague died!" 517 00:38:15,752 --> 00:38:17,170 That's what he said! 518 00:38:17,337 --> 00:38:19,673 This is an organization, and they're all over us. 519 00:38:19,923 --> 00:38:21,675 -Whoever you spoke to-- -I told you... 520 00:38:21,842 --> 00:38:25,387 I made contact with the KGB, MI6, Mossad and Beijing. 521 00:38:25,554 --> 00:38:26,972 They all insist he wasn't one of theirs. 522 00:38:27,389 --> 00:38:28,682 Beijing- 523 00:38:29,141 --> 00:38:33,353 So freaky now there's no recognizable name for the Chinese secret service. 524 00:38:33,812 --> 00:38:35,981 Now, that's what you call a secret, right? 525 00:38:36,982 --> 00:38:38,734 You know what? Fuck it. 526 00:38:39,192 --> 00:38:40,777 We need to speed things up. 527 00:38:40,944 --> 00:38:42,279 Bring the product release forward. 528 00:38:42,446 --> 00:38:44,281 We're only halfway into production... 529 00:38:44,448 --> 00:38:45,866 and speeding it will cost a fortune. 530 00:38:46,033 --> 00:38:47,326 Do I look like I give a fuck? 531 00:38:47,576 --> 00:38:49,411 Just get it done. 532 00:38:51,913 --> 00:38:54,499 As some of you will have learned last night... 533 00:38:55,917 --> 00:38:59,129 teamwork is paramount here at Kingsman. 534 00:38:59,296 --> 00:39:03,091 We're here to enhance your skills, test you to the limit. 535 00:39:03,258 --> 00:39:06,678 Which is why you're gonna pick a puppy. 536 00:39:06,845 --> 00:39:08,680 Wherever you go, your dog goes. 537 00:39:08,847 --> 00:39:11,058 You will care for it. You will teach it. 538 00:39:11,224 --> 00:39:14,269 And by the time it's fully trained, so will you be. 539 00:39:14,436 --> 00:39:17,022 Those of you who are still here, that is. 540 00:39:17,189 --> 00:39:19,107 Do you understand? 541 00:39:19,316 --> 00:39:21,193 Choose your PUPPY- 542 00:39:23,862 --> 00:39:25,030 A Doodle? 543 00:39:25,197 --> 00:39:26,031 What? 544 00:39:26,281 --> 00:39:27,866 They're gun dogs. 545 00:39:28,033 --> 00:39:29,534 Oldest working breed. 546 00:39:29,701 --> 00:39:31,495 Easy to train. 547 00:39:32,537 --> 00:39:33,789 A pug? 548 00:39:35,165 --> 00:39:36,833 It's a bulldog, innit? 549 00:39:39,294 --> 00:39:40,629 It'll get bigger, though, won't it? 550 00:39:44,549 --> 00:39:46,676 Shit. 551 00:39:48,678 --> 00:39:52,015 His MRI shows no signs of concussion. 552 00:39:52,182 --> 00:39:55,143 No direct brain trauma at all. 553 00:39:55,477 --> 00:39:57,562 How much longer can he be out? 554 00:39:57,729 --> 00:39:58,897 That's the million-dollar question. 555 00:39:59,064 --> 00:40:00,899 We don't know what he was exposed to in there. 556 00:40:01,066 --> 00:40:02,526 What about Harry's footage? 557 00:40:02,692 --> 00:40:04,361 It didn't stream to his home terminal. 558 00:40:04,528 --> 00:40:07,489 Encrypted and uncrackable. 559 00:40:07,739 --> 00:40:08,865 If and when he comes around... 560 00:40:09,032 --> 00:40:11,660 you might want to have a word with him about sharing his password. 561 00:40:11,827 --> 00:40:13,495 Is he gonna be all right? 562 00:40:14,663 --> 00:40:16,331 We need to have patience, Eggsy. 563 00:40:16,748 --> 00:40:18,083 But there's hope, okay? 564 00:40:18,667 --> 00:40:20,377 If I were you, I'd concentrate on your training. 565 00:40:20,544 --> 00:40:22,712 Make it through the tests. Make him proud. 566 00:40:30,345 --> 00:40:31,847 Come on, come on, come on! 567 00:40:32,013 --> 00:40:34,099 J.B., come on! Come on! 568 00:40:37,185 --> 00:40:39,187 I'm not coming last because of you. 569 00:40:40,021 --> 00:40:42,524 J.B., I'll shoot you! Goddamn you, I'll fucking shoot you! 570 00:40:43,775 --> 00:40:45,444 Merlin said we're not allowed to hold you. 571 00:40:47,612 --> 00:40:49,114 Bollocks. 572 00:41:31,656 --> 00:41:32,616 Water! 573 00:41:35,911 --> 00:41:37,412 -Come on, then! -Eggsy, forget it! 574 00:41:37,579 --> 00:41:39,080 What's wrong, mate? You can't take a joke? 575 00:41:39,247 --> 00:41:41,416 Seriously, you'll get thrown out, and it's just not worth it. 576 00:41:41,583 --> 00:41:43,084 Maybe I don't give a fuck if I get kicked out! 577 00:41:43,251 --> 00:41:44,586 Do it. Come on, you pleb. 578 00:41:44,753 --> 00:41:46,171 Charlie, fuck off! 579 00:41:48,298 --> 00:41:51,259 Yeah, go on, walk away. Dickhead. 580 00:41:52,594 --> 00:41:53,678 Come on, J.B. 581 00:41:53,845 --> 00:41:54,930 Come on, good boy. 582 00:42:08,735 --> 00:42:11,112 You have exactly one hour to complete the test... 583 00:42:11,279 --> 00:42:12,822 starting now. 584 00:42:14,908 --> 00:42:16,660 New target, 800 meters. 585 00:42:16,826 --> 00:42:18,453 You know, its unbelievable. You're still here... 586 00:42:18,620 --> 00:42:22,123 lingering like some big, steaming shit that just won't flush. 587 00:42:22,290 --> 00:42:23,792 Roger that. Target identified. 588 00:42:23,959 --> 00:42:25,961 And how about you shut the fuck up? 589 00:42:26,127 --> 00:42:27,254 Positive discrimination... 590 00:42:27,420 --> 00:42:28,838 that's what it is. 591 00:42:29,005 --> 00:42:32,175 It's like those fucking state school kids who get into Oxford on C grades... 592 00:42:32,342 --> 00:42:33,969 because their mum is a one-legged lesbian. 593 00:42:34,135 --> 00:42:35,637 You don't know fuck all about my grades. 594 00:42:35,804 --> 00:42:37,681 Forgive me, I'm sure you're highly educated. 595 00:42:37,847 --> 00:42:39,307 Fire when ready. 596 00:42:41,476 --> 00:42:43,478 How's that for positive discrimination? 597 00:42:56,157 --> 00:42:57,951 I want to thank you both for listening... 598 00:42:58,118 --> 00:43:01,204 and I really, really appreciate you travelling all this way... 599 00:43:01,371 --> 00:43:02,372 Your Royal Highness. 600 00:43:02,706 --> 00:43:04,332 And you, too, Prime Minister. 601 00:43:04,499 --> 00:43:07,502 I think this is quite brilliant. 602 00:43:08,003 --> 00:43:10,505 It's absolutely brilliant. 603 00:43:11,298 --> 00:43:14,134 You are completely crazy. 604 00:43:16,177 --> 00:43:17,721 And as for you, Prime Minister 605 00:43:17,846 --> 00:43:20,056 I'm speechless you'd even consider this. 606 00:43:25,353 --> 00:43:28,315 -Don't touch-- -Sorry, Your Royal Highness. 607 00:43:28,481 --> 00:43:29,524 But you've got a big role to play... 608 00:43:29,691 --> 00:43:32,235 in getting the Scandinavian region back on track. 609 00:43:32,569 --> 00:43:33,903 You're popular, inspirational... 610 00:43:34,070 --> 00:43:36,531 and you have the power to galvanize the people. 611 00:43:36,698 --> 00:43:39,534 Now, whether you're on board or not... 612 00:43:39,701 --> 00:43:41,328 I'm going to have to insist... 613 00:43:41,494 --> 00:43:44,372 on getting you somewhere I can ensure your safety. 614 00:43:44,873 --> 00:43:47,083 How about you, Prime Minister? You in or out? 615 00:43:48,043 --> 00:43:49,544 Well, I think it's about time... 616 00:43:49,711 --> 00:43:54,382 that a politician did something that actually made a difference. 617 00:43:54,883 --> 00:43:56,718 Too true. 618 00:43:56,885 --> 00:43:57,719 What? 619 00:43:57,886 --> 00:43:59,220 Take her away. 620 00:44:02,891 --> 00:44:03,725 Drink? 621 00:44:04,726 --> 00:44:06,227 Why not? 622 00:44:08,146 --> 00:44:10,106 Guards! Help! 623 00:44:10,190 --> 00:44:10,940 Don't worry. 624 00:44:11,107 --> 00:44:12,567 No harm will come to the princess. 625 00:44:13,068 --> 00:44:17,197 Well, I'm a republican anyways, so it really doesn't matter. 626 00:44:18,740 --> 00:44:19,532 Release the princess! 627 00:44:53,441 --> 00:44:54,609 Okay, you're done. 628 00:44:54,776 --> 00:44:56,277 Not so bad, right? 629 00:44:56,820 --> 00:44:58,655 Hardly felt a thing. 630 00:44:58,947 --> 00:45:00,448 Welcome aboard. 631 00:45:00,907 --> 00:45:02,742 Pleasure is all mine. 632 00:45:09,082 --> 00:45:10,083 Ever heard of knocking? 633 00:45:11,292 --> 00:45:12,627 Only when I'm casing a place to rob. 634 00:45:14,129 --> 00:45:15,296 Merlin said you wanted to see me? 635 00:45:16,589 --> 00:45:18,633 I hope J.B.'s training is going as well as yours is. 636 00:45:18,925 --> 00:45:19,968 Sit. 637 00:45:22,470 --> 00:45:25,348 Congratulations on making it to the final six candidates. 638 00:45:25,515 --> 00:45:28,017 Your test results were even better than I could've hoped. 639 00:45:30,645 --> 00:45:31,813 Come in. 640 00:45:35,984 --> 00:45:38,653 Eggsy, I need to have a private conversation. 641 00:45:38,820 --> 00:45:39,779 You're dismissed. 642 00:45:39,946 --> 00:45:41,656 Nonsense. Let him observe. 643 00:45:41,865 --> 00:45:43,491 Might learn a thing or two. 644 00:45:43,992 --> 00:45:45,994 As you wish. Take a look at this. 645 00:45:46,161 --> 00:45:47,954 For God's sake, I've barely touched you. 646 00:45:48,121 --> 00:45:48,955 Man up! 647 00:45:49,622 --> 00:45:51,332 Fucking hell! 648 00:45:51,499 --> 00:45:53,460 That is rank, Harry. 649 00:45:54,169 --> 00:45:55,503 You blew up his head? 650 00:45:55,670 --> 00:45:57,130 It's a bit much, innit? 651 00:45:57,297 --> 00:46:00,967 Actually, the explosion was caused by an implant in his neck. 652 00:46:01,176 --> 00:46:02,677 Here, under the scar. 653 00:46:03,011 --> 00:46:05,513 Did my hardware pick up the signal that triggered it? 654 00:46:05,680 --> 00:46:07,182 Fortunately, yes. 655 00:46:07,515 --> 00:46:09,476 Unfortunately, the IP address I traced it to... 656 00:46:09,642 --> 00:46:11,853 is registered to the Valentine Corporation. 657 00:46:12,020 --> 00:46:14,856 That's not much of a lead. He has millions of employees worldwide. 658 00:46:15,023 --> 00:46:17,192 That Richmond Valentine is a genius. 659 00:46:20,820 --> 00:46:22,989 Did you not see his announcement today? 660 00:46:23,698 --> 00:46:24,866 No. 661 00:46:28,912 --> 00:46:32,499 We each spend on average $2,000 a year... 662 00:46:32,665 --> 00:46:34,542 on cell phone and internet usage. 663 00:46:34,709 --> 00:46:37,837 It gives me great pleasure to announce... 664 00:46:38,004 --> 00:46:40,548 those days are over. 665 00:46:40,715 --> 00:46:41,758 As of tomorrow... 666 00:46:41,925 --> 00:46:45,762 every man, woman and child can claim a free SIM card... 667 00:46:45,929 --> 00:46:50,058 compatible with any cell phone, any computer... 668 00:46:50,225 --> 00:46:54,395 and utilize my communications network for free. 669 00:46:54,562 --> 00:46:55,897 Free calls... 670 00:46:56,064 --> 00:46:57,565 free internet... 671 00:46:57,732 --> 00:46:59,234 for everyone. 672 00:47:00,235 --> 00:47:01,569 Forever. 673 00:47:17,418 --> 00:47:20,088 Valentine's assistant has the same implant scar. 674 00:47:20,588 --> 00:47:23,258 I think Mr. Valentine and I should have a tête-à-tête. 675 00:47:26,761 --> 00:47:29,222 He's having a gala dinner next week. 676 00:47:29,389 --> 00:47:32,225 I'll get you an invitation. You need to be careful, though. 677 00:47:32,433 --> 00:47:34,394 Since you've been out, hundreds of VIPs have gone missing. 678 00:47:34,561 --> 00:47:36,938 No ransom notes, exactly like Professor Arnold. 679 00:47:37,272 --> 00:47:40,984 Then I suggest you make my alias somebody worth kidnapping. 680 00:47:53,788 --> 00:47:54,956 Fuck, fuck, fuck! 681 00:47:55,123 --> 00:47:56,291 What, don't like heights? 682 00:47:56,457 --> 00:47:57,458 Yeah, it's okay. 683 00:47:57,667 --> 00:48:01,296 I've done it before, which is probably why, come to think of it. 684 00:48:02,589 --> 00:48:04,465 Hey, it's gonna be all right. 685 00:48:04,632 --> 00:48:06,092 You're top of the class. 686 00:48:08,094 --> 00:48:09,304 Listen up. 687 00:48:09,470 --> 00:48:12,265 Your mission is to land in the target without the radar detecting you. 688 00:48:12,432 --> 00:48:16,102 If I read you on the radar, or you miss the target, you go home. 689 00:48:16,477 --> 00:48:17,645 Is that understood? 690 00:48:21,149 --> 00:48:23,776 Drop zone coming up, 20 seconds. 691 00:48:25,111 --> 00:48:26,529 We gotta go. 692 00:48:35,788 --> 00:48:37,665 Eggsy, I really don't think I can do this. 693 00:48:37,832 --> 00:48:38,833 Of course you can't. 694 00:48:39,000 --> 00:48:40,335 Head to the back and I'll show you how, yeah? 695 00:48:48,843 --> 00:48:50,845 Eggsy, wait! Hang on! 696 00:48:51,846 --> 00:48:53,348 Roxy, just stop fucking about! 697 00:48:54,974 --> 00:48:55,850 Follow me, yeah? 698 00:49:10,031 --> 00:49:11,866 Come on! 699 00:49:13,159 --> 00:49:15,203 Roxy, it's now or never. 700 00:49:16,496 --> 00:49:17,705 Jump] 701 00:49:36,349 --> 00:49:37,684 Good girl, Rox... 702 00:49:37,850 --> 00:49:39,435 I'm glad you made it! 703 00:49:52,240 --> 00:49:53,908 Yeah! 704 00:49:54,575 --> 00:49:55,576 Come on! 705 00:49:57,954 --> 00:50:00,081 My, my, you're all very cheerful. 706 00:50:00,248 --> 00:50:02,417 Did you really think it was gonna be that straightforward? 707 00:50:02,583 --> 00:50:04,961 Any idiot can read a heads-up display. 708 00:50:05,128 --> 00:50:08,798 A Kingsman agent needs to be able to solve problems under pressure. 709 00:50:09,382 --> 00:50:12,885 Like what to do when one of your group has no parachute. 710 00:50:14,262 --> 00:50:15,930 -What, no parachute? -Shit! 711 00:50:16,305 --> 00:50:17,432 Who? 712 00:50:17,598 --> 00:50:18,433 Fuck! 713 00:50:18,599 --> 00:50:19,559 Which one? 714 00:50:19,726 --> 00:50:21,144 What do we do? 715 00:50:21,310 --> 00:50:22,729 I told you. Aim for the target. 716 00:50:22,895 --> 00:50:24,147 Come in under the radar. 717 00:50:24,313 --> 00:50:26,274 And I hope not to be scraping one of you up. 718 00:50:26,649 --> 00:50:29,610 But if I do have to, and you're inside the target... 719 00:50:30,111 --> 00:50:31,821 please know I'll be very impressed. 720 00:50:31,988 --> 00:50:33,406 -Fuck! -Oh, shit! 721 00:50:37,285 --> 00:50:38,953 Everybody listen, I've got a plan! 722 00:50:40,663 --> 00:50:43,624 Pair off! Grab the closest person to them. 723 00:50:46,294 --> 00:50:47,462 Rufus, come on! 724 00:50:47,670 --> 00:50:48,588 Fuck! 725 00:50:49,464 --> 00:50:50,339 Rufus! 726 00:50:50,798 --> 00:50:51,966 Shit! I can't! 727 00:50:55,803 --> 00:50:56,471 Fuck! 728 00:50:57,847 --> 00:50:58,973 Thank God! 729 00:50:59,140 --> 00:51:00,975 Rufus, you wanker! 730 00:51:02,185 --> 00:51:03,603 Shit, we're an odd number now! 731 00:51:04,687 --> 00:51:05,772 Quick, make a circle! 732 00:51:05,938 --> 00:51:07,648 Fuck, he's right! Boys, let's do it. 733 00:51:12,361 --> 00:51:14,447 We pull our cords one by one! 734 00:51:14,614 --> 00:51:15,823 When we know who's fucked... 735 00:51:15,990 --> 00:51:17,325 the person on their right grabs them. 736 00:51:19,118 --> 00:51:20,369 Okay, Eggsy. 737 00:51:20,828 --> 00:51:21,829 Good plan, Eggs)'- 738 00:51:21,996 --> 00:51:24,165 You have 30 seconds. Come on now, hurry. 739 00:51:24,332 --> 00:51:25,333 Me first! 740 00:51:27,835 --> 00:51:28,669 Fuck! 741 00:51:28,836 --> 00:51:30,171 Yes! 742 00:51:32,215 --> 00:51:34,634 Okay, me next. 743 00:51:36,636 --> 00:51:38,179 See you on the ground, boys. 744 00:51:42,016 --> 00:51:43,017 Now me. 745 00:51:46,896 --> 00:51:47,730 Fuck! 746 00:51:52,360 --> 00:51:53,152 Roxy... 747 00:51:53,319 --> 00:51:54,987 no matter what happens now, I've got you, all right? 748 00:51:58,866 --> 00:52:00,159 Okay, Eggsy. 749 00:52:00,326 --> 00:52:01,494 -Yours first, okay? -Yep. 750 00:52:14,674 --> 00:52:15,550 Shit! 751 00:52:23,349 --> 00:52:24,600 Shit! 752 00:52:26,727 --> 00:52:27,395 Shit! 753 00:52:29,397 --> 00:52:30,064 Rox! 754 00:52:33,860 --> 00:52:34,944 Fuck. 755 00:52:51,294 --> 00:52:53,462 Hugo, Digby. 756 00:52:53,629 --> 00:52:56,424 You don't land in the K, you're not in the K. 757 00:52:56,591 --> 00:52:58,926 Rufus, you opened too soon. 758 00:52:59,093 --> 00:53:00,428 You were all over the radar. 759 00:53:00,595 --> 00:53:02,430 All three of you, pack your bags, go home. 760 00:53:04,557 --> 00:53:06,767 Eggsy, Roxy, congratulations. 761 00:53:07,101 --> 00:53:08,728 You set a new record. 762 00:53:08,895 --> 00:53:10,104 Opening at 300 feet... 763 00:53:10,271 --> 00:53:11,314 that's pretty ballsy. 764 00:53:11,480 --> 00:53:13,983 Well done for completing another task. Fall out. 765 00:53:15,109 --> 00:53:16,110 Sorry, sir. 766 00:53:16,277 --> 00:53:17,945 But why the fuck did you choose me as the gimp? 767 00:53:18,112 --> 00:53:19,322 Am I the expendable candidate? 768 00:53:19,488 --> 00:53:22,074 No,no,no. You don't talk to me like that. 769 00:53:22,241 --> 00:53:24,452 You have a complaint, you come here and you whisper it in my ear. 770 00:53:31,292 --> 00:53:34,003 You need to take that chip off your shoulder. 771 00:54:04,992 --> 00:54:07,495 Mr. DeVere. It's a pleasure to meet you. 772 00:54:08,120 --> 00:54:10,831 I'm awfully sorry. I seem to have my dates muddled up. 773 00:54:10,998 --> 00:54:13,876 No,no,no. I cancelled the gala because of you. 774 00:54:14,210 --> 00:54:16,003 Anybody willing to donate that much... 775 00:54:16,170 --> 00:54:18,339 deserves their own dinner. Come in! 776 00:54:19,966 --> 00:54:20,967 Thank you. 777 00:54:22,843 --> 00:54:25,346 Got to admit, I was really intrigued to meet you. 778 00:54:25,513 --> 00:54:27,348 There aren't many billionaires I don't know. 779 00:54:27,515 --> 00:54:28,516 I don't doubt it. 780 00:54:28,683 --> 00:54:31,686 And, obviously, I had my people look into your affairs... 781 00:54:31,852 --> 00:54:33,562 and that's some pretty old money you're from. 782 00:54:33,729 --> 00:54:34,563 How'd your folks make it? 783 00:54:35,189 --> 00:54:38,192 Property, mostly. Property and the markets. 784 00:54:38,359 --> 00:54:40,403 Nothing questionable, if that's your concern. 785 00:54:40,569 --> 00:54:43,322 Look, I'm just into finding out what caliber person you are. 786 00:54:43,489 --> 00:54:44,323 I'm sure you understand that. 787 00:54:44,865 --> 00:54:45,908 I most certainly do. 788 00:54:46,075 --> 00:54:47,576 -Hope you're hungry. -I'm famished. 789 00:54:47,743 --> 00:54:48,786 Good. 790 00:54:48,869 --> 00:54:49,870 Grab a seat. 791 00:55:11,642 --> 00:55:12,727 I'll have the Big Mac, please. 792 00:55:12,893 --> 00:55:14,061 Great choice. 793 00:55:14,228 --> 00:55:17,648 But nothing beats two cheeseburgers with secret sauce. 794 00:55:17,815 --> 00:55:19,608 Goes great with this '45 Lafite. 795 00:55:19,775 --> 00:55:20,776 A classic pairing. 796 00:55:21,193 --> 00:55:24,196 And may I suggest Twinkies and a 1937 Chateau d'Yquem for pudding? 797 00:55:25,031 --> 00:55:26,407 I like it. 798 00:55:26,991 --> 00:55:30,786 So, you want to donate to my foundation. 799 00:55:30,953 --> 00:55:34,290 You are aware that I wound things down in that area, right? 800 00:55:34,457 --> 00:55:37,376 Climate change is a threat, which affects us all, Mr. Valentine. 801 00:55:37,543 --> 00:55:40,671 And you're one of the few powerful men who seems to share my concerns. 802 00:55:40,838 --> 00:55:43,507 No, I shut things down, because I wasn't getting anywhere. 803 00:55:43,674 --> 00:55:46,510 Every bit of research kept pointing to the same thing. 804 00:55:46,677 --> 00:55:48,054 That carbon emissions are a red herring... 805 00:55:48,220 --> 00:55:51,891 and that we're past the point of no return no matter what remedial actions we take? 806 00:55:52,266 --> 00:55:53,893 You know your shit. 807 00:55:54,060 --> 00:55:57,646 I sometimes envy the blissful ignorance of those less well versed in their... 808 00:55:58,189 --> 00:55:59,398 "shit." 809 00:56:00,441 --> 00:56:01,984 As Professor Arnold always said... 810 00:56:02,568 --> 00:56:04,987 "Humankind is the only virus cursed to live... 811 00:56:05,154 --> 00:56:08,407 "with the horrifying knowledge of its host's fragile mortality." 812 00:56:09,658 --> 00:56:12,203 You know, not a lot of people knew about him. 813 00:56:14,914 --> 00:56:17,291 You like spy movies, Mr. DeVere? 814 00:56:20,961 --> 00:56:24,006 Nowadays, they're all a little serious for my taste. 815 00:56:24,173 --> 00:56:25,132 But the old ones... 816 00:56:25,925 --> 00:56:27,176 Marvelous. 817 00:56:27,343 --> 00:56:29,595 Give me a far-fetched theatrical plot any day. 818 00:56:29,762 --> 00:56:33,265 The old Bond movies. Oh, man! 819 00:56:33,432 --> 00:56:36,977 When I was a kid, that was my dream job. 820 00:56:37,770 --> 00:56:39,355 Gentleman spy. 821 00:56:39,730 --> 00:56:43,067 I always felt the old Bond films were only as good as the villain. 822 00:56:43,442 --> 00:56:47,571 As a child, I rather fancied a future as a colorful megalomaniac. 823 00:56:49,448 --> 00:56:52,743 What a shame we both had to grow up. 824 00:56:57,373 --> 00:56:58,582 Bon appétit. 825 00:57:01,127 --> 00:57:04,088 Just give me a couple of days to think over your proposal. 826 00:57:04,255 --> 00:57:05,840 I'll have my people get in touch with yours... 827 00:57:06,006 --> 00:57:07,508 and it's all good. 828 00:57:07,675 --> 00:57:11,220 And thank you for such a happy meal. 829 00:57:16,559 --> 00:57:17,935 Well, want me to follow him? 830 00:57:18,102 --> 00:57:19,228 Nah. 831 00:57:19,520 --> 00:57:21,981 I put a nano tracker gel in the wine. 832 00:57:22,148 --> 00:57:25,151 We'll know his every move for the next 24 hours. 833 00:57:25,317 --> 00:57:27,862 Finally find out who he works for. 834 00:57:29,447 --> 00:57:31,407 Valentine didn't let me out of his sight. 835 00:57:31,574 --> 00:57:34,076 All I got was this on the way in. 836 00:57:38,205 --> 00:57:41,292 South Glade Mission Church is a hate group based in Kentucky. 837 00:57:42,168 --> 00:57:43,752 FBI have been monitoring them for years. 838 00:57:43,919 --> 00:57:45,713 But you think Valentine is a supporter? 839 00:57:45,880 --> 00:57:49,175 No evidence yet of a direct connection, but I'll keep looking. 840 00:57:50,050 --> 00:57:51,427 By the way... 841 00:57:51,594 --> 00:57:56,640 our ever-growing list of missing persons now includes Scandinavian royalty. 842 00:57:57,057 --> 00:57:59,768 Royal Crown Princess Tilde. 843 00:58:01,854 --> 00:58:04,690 Just let me out, you psycho! 844 00:58:04,857 --> 00:58:07,693 I told you, you're free to go any time you want. 845 00:58:07,860 --> 00:58:10,112 As long as you agree to my conditions. 846 00:58:10,529 --> 00:58:12,156 I don't agree... 847 00:58:12,323 --> 00:58:15,034 and I am never ever going to agree! 848 00:58:15,201 --> 00:58:16,452 Tough shit. 849 00:58:16,869 --> 00:58:17,870 Bitch. 850 00:58:20,039 --> 00:58:21,790 I want to speak to the British Council! 851 00:58:22,416 --> 00:58:26,837 The list of missing celebrities and dignitaries has continued to grow in recent weeks... 852 00:58:27,004 --> 00:58:30,883 and world leaders are coming under increasing pressure to provide answers. 853 00:58:31,050 --> 00:58:34,803 We are doing everything in our power to find Princess Tilde. 854 00:58:34,970 --> 00:58:38,140 You know, governments and security forces worldwide... 855 00:58:38,307 --> 00:58:42,019 are working together to find the person behind these abductions. 856 00:58:42,186 --> 00:58:43,854 In other news, people all over the world... 857 00:58:44,021 --> 00:58:48,400 continue to wait in line day and night to get their free SIM cards. 858 00:58:48,567 --> 00:58:51,028 Mrs. P, did you get one? 859 00:58:51,195 --> 00:58:53,781 Yeah, I've been queuing up all day. 860 00:58:53,948 --> 00:58:58,202 This unprecedented giveaway by the philanthropist Richmond Valentine... 861 00:58:58,369 --> 00:59:01,205 has already seen over a billion cards distributed. 862 00:59:01,372 --> 00:59:02,581 At ease. 863 00:59:04,750 --> 00:59:07,169 So you thought we were done for the day, huh? 864 00:59:07,962 --> 00:59:09,171 Well, we're not. 865 00:59:10,798 --> 00:59:12,800 -A party? -Tonight, in London. 866 00:59:14,552 --> 00:59:16,887 -Who's this? -Your target. 867 00:59:17,054 --> 00:59:19,014 Your mission is to use your NLP training... 868 00:59:19,181 --> 00:59:21,559 to win over the individual on the photograph in your envelope. 869 00:59:21,725 --> 00:59:23,227 And when I say "win over"... 870 00:59:23,561 --> 00:59:25,187 I do mean in the biblical sense. 871 00:59:25,354 --> 00:59:26,522 Easy. 872 00:59:27,439 --> 00:59:29,483 Posh girls love a bit of rough. 873 00:59:29,650 --> 00:59:31,277 We'll see about that, yeah? 874 00:59:31,569 --> 00:59:33,362 We certainly will. 875 00:59:38,576 --> 00:59:39,535 Hi! 876 00:59:39,702 --> 00:59:42,997 Sorry, I just had to come over and say, amazing eyes. 877 00:59:43,372 --> 00:59:44,582 Are you wearing color contacts? 878 00:59:44,748 --> 00:59:46,959 -No! -You so are. 879 00:59:47,126 --> 00:59:49,503 Oh, my God, negging! That's hilarious. 880 00:59:49,670 --> 00:59:51,547 I haven't heard anyone try that since the noughties. 881 00:59:51,714 --> 00:59:52,840 Excuse me? 882 00:59:53,007 --> 00:59:53,882 "Negging-" 883 00:59:54,049 --> 00:59:58,012 Saying something negative to a pretty girl in order to undermine her social value. 884 00:59:58,178 --> 01:00:00,222 It's supposed to make you want to win his approval. 885 01:00:00,806 --> 01:00:03,851 Absurdly basic neuro-linguistic programming technique. 886 01:00:04,018 --> 01:00:06,145 Is it just me, or does this champagne taste a little bit funny? 887 01:00:06,312 --> 01:00:08,188 -It's an acquired taste, mate. -I think it's just cheap. 888 01:00:08,355 --> 01:00:10,190 Get one of these instead. They're delicious. 889 01:00:10,357 --> 01:00:13,068 If you're into seduction techniques, this guy is textbook. 890 01:00:13,235 --> 01:00:15,988 See what he just did? It's called an opinion opener. 891 01:00:16,155 --> 01:00:17,656 He got you talking with a neutral question... 892 01:00:17,823 --> 01:00:19,533 got all of us involved in the conversation... 893 01:00:19,700 --> 01:00:21,368 so that you craved individual attention. 894 01:00:22,077 --> 01:00:23,412 No, I'm just saying the champagne tastes rank. 895 01:00:23,579 --> 01:00:25,331 Lady Sophie Montague-Herring. 896 01:00:25,497 --> 01:00:26,790 Phone call for you at reception. 897 01:00:26,957 --> 01:00:28,667 -Be right back. -We'll see you in a bit, yeah? 898 01:00:28,834 --> 01:00:30,210 See you in a bit. 899 01:00:30,377 --> 01:00:32,212 Budge up, Rox. I'm feeling a bit rough. 900 01:00:32,379 --> 01:00:33,881 -Are you all right? -No. 901 01:00:34,048 --> 01:00:35,090 Sorry to eavesdrop... 902 01:00:35,257 --> 01:00:38,802 but there's a much easier way to guarantee getting someone home. 903 01:00:39,011 --> 01:00:40,554 Rohypnol. 904 01:00:42,723 --> 01:00:44,475 Or even something stronger. 905 01:01:02,034 --> 01:01:03,702 Who the fuck are you? 906 01:01:04,286 --> 01:01:05,704 Where am I? 907 01:01:08,123 --> 01:01:09,291 This knife... 908 01:01:09,458 --> 01:01:11,502 can save your life. 909 01:01:15,756 --> 01:01:16,757 Fuck! 910 01:01:17,174 --> 01:01:19,968 My employer's got two questions for you, Eggsy. 911 01:01:20,135 --> 01:01:22,012 What the fuck is Kingsman? 912 01:01:22,179 --> 01:01:23,806 And who's Harry Hart? 913 01:01:23,972 --> 01:01:25,808 I don't know who the fuck that is! 914 01:01:25,974 --> 01:01:26,767 Shit! 915 01:01:26,934 --> 01:01:30,729 Eggsy, I just killed two of your friends who gave me the same bullshit answer! 916 01:01:31,355 --> 01:01:32,272 Fuck! 917 01:01:32,731 --> 01:01:35,275 Just cut the fucking ropes, please! 918 01:01:35,442 --> 01:01:36,485 Hey, Eggsy! 919 01:01:36,652 --> 01:01:37,986 Is Kingsman worth dying for? 920 01:01:40,197 --> 01:01:41,573 FUCK you! 921 01:01:55,879 --> 01:01:57,172 Congratulations. 922 01:01:57,339 --> 01:01:58,549 Bloody well done. 923 01:02:00,843 --> 01:02:02,428 How did the others do? 924 01:02:02,594 --> 01:02:04,388 Roxy passed with flying colors. 925 01:02:04,930 --> 01:02:07,182 Charlie's up next. Want to watch? 926 01:02:08,600 --> 01:02:10,060 Yeah, all right. 927 01:02:12,563 --> 01:02:14,606 Is Kingsman really worth dying for? 928 01:02:14,773 --> 01:02:16,108 No, it fucking isn't! 929 01:02:16,275 --> 01:02:18,110 Shit, I'll tell you what you want. Please! 930 01:02:18,277 --> 01:02:19,570 Chester King is Arthur. 931 01:02:19,737 --> 01:02:21,947 Arthur's head of a spy agency. It's called Kingsman. 932 01:02:22,114 --> 01:02:23,657 -Get me out of here! -Thank you, Charlie. 933 01:02:23,824 --> 01:02:25,159 Much appreciated. 934 01:02:25,325 --> 01:02:27,703 Come on! That wasn't the fucking deal! 935 01:02:28,120 --> 01:02:30,414 Fuck! 936 01:02:37,421 --> 01:02:39,715 I had such high hopes for you. 937 01:02:39,923 --> 01:02:41,842 You're a bloody disgrace. 938 01:02:42,009 --> 01:02:43,010 Arthur, I'm sorry. 939 01:02:43,844 --> 01:02:45,179 At least untie me. 940 01:02:45,512 --> 01:02:46,847 Untie yourself. 941 01:02:48,515 --> 01:02:50,684 Arthur, please. 942 01:02:52,019 --> 01:02:54,563 I'm the fucking son of the... Shit! 943 01:02:54,730 --> 01:02:57,232 Anyone? Hello? 944 01:02:57,399 --> 01:02:59,943 Galahad, Percival, congratulations. 945 01:03:00,235 --> 01:03:03,030 Your candidates have reached the final stage of the testing process. 946 01:03:03,197 --> 01:03:06,742 As tradition allows, you now have 24 hours to spend with them. 947 01:03:07,367 --> 01:03:10,537 Eggsy, you should know your father reached this point. 948 01:03:11,288 --> 01:03:12,289 From now on... 949 01:03:12,748 --> 01:03:14,208 there are no safety nets, understood? 950 01:03:18,086 --> 01:03:18,962 Good. Dismissed. 951 01:03:22,925 --> 01:03:25,052 Charlie, time to go home. 952 01:03:25,219 --> 01:03:26,553 Fuck you. 953 01:03:26,970 --> 01:03:29,223 Fucking dad's gonna hear about this! 954 01:03:31,391 --> 01:03:32,392 "To pee or not to pee?" 955 01:03:34,645 --> 01:03:35,646 That was the headline... 956 01:03:35,729 --> 01:03:38,398 the day after I defused a dirty bomb in Paris. 957 01:03:38,899 --> 01:03:40,567 "Germany, 1, England, 5." 958 01:03:40,734 --> 01:03:41,819 Missed that game. 959 01:03:41,985 --> 01:03:44,947 I was breaking up an undercover spy ring at the Pentagon. 960 01:03:50,452 --> 01:03:51,745 My first mission. 961 01:03:51,912 --> 01:03:53,413 Foiled the assassination of Margaret Thatcher. 962 01:03:54,915 --> 01:03:56,250 Not everybody would thank you for that one. 963 01:03:56,667 --> 01:03:59,419 The point is, Eggsy, nobody thanked me for any of them. 964 01:04:00,087 --> 01:04:03,632 Front page news on all these occasions was celebrity nonsense. 965 01:04:03,924 --> 01:04:07,469 Because it's the nature of Kingsman that our achievements remain secret. 966 01:04:07,928 --> 01:04:11,265 A gentleman's name should appear in the newspaper only three times. 967 01:04:11,431 --> 01:04:13,767 When he's born, when he marries, and when he dies. 968 01:04:13,934 --> 01:04:17,104 And we are, first and foremost, gentlemen. 969 01:04:17,437 --> 01:04:18,772 That's me fucked then. 970 01:04:19,773 --> 01:04:21,650 It's like Charlie said. I'm just a pleb. 971 01:04:21,817 --> 01:04:22,818 Nonsense. 972 01:04:22,985 --> 01:04:25,487 Being a gentleman has nothing to do with the circumstances of one's birth. 973 01:04:26,446 --> 01:04:28,282 Being a gentleman is something one learns. 974 01:04:29,032 --> 01:04:30,868 Yeah, but how? 975 01:04:31,785 --> 01:04:33,036 All right, first lesson. 976 01:04:33,203 --> 01:04:34,621 You should've asked me before you took a seat. 977 01:04:36,498 --> 01:04:37,624 Second lesson... 978 01:04:38,625 --> 01:04:39,960 how to make a proper martini. 979 01:04:40,961 --> 01:04:43,046 Yes, Harry. 980 01:04:45,632 --> 01:04:48,677 Goddamn it! This fucking hurts! 981 01:04:49,177 --> 01:04:51,680 You're the one who asked for a biometric security system. 982 01:04:51,847 --> 01:04:52,973 What's wrong with a simple switch? 983 01:04:53,140 --> 01:04:54,141 A simple switch? 984 01:04:54,308 --> 01:04:57,978 This is an extremely dangerous machine. 985 01:04:58,145 --> 01:05:02,691 It should only be operated by someone as responsible and sane as me. 986 01:05:02,900 --> 01:05:05,152 Bad shit could happen if this falls into the wrong hands. 987 01:05:08,363 --> 01:05:10,032 We done here? Shit! 988 01:05:10,198 --> 01:05:12,826 No. Now this one. 989 01:05:12,993 --> 01:05:14,036 For the test at the church. 990 01:05:14,202 --> 01:05:16,038 This one just has a short range. 991 01:05:16,204 --> 01:05:17,748 A simple switch will do. 992 01:05:23,712 --> 01:05:26,590 So are you gonna teach me how to talk proper, like in My Fair Lady? 993 01:05:26,757 --> 01:05:28,216 Don't be absurd. 994 01:05:28,508 --> 01:05:31,053 Being a gentleman has nothing to do with one's accent. 995 01:05:31,219 --> 01:05:33,513 It's about being at ease in one's own skin. 996 01:05:33,680 --> 01:05:35,223 As Hemingway said, "There is nothing noble... 997 01:05:35,390 --> 01:05:37,768 "in being superior to your fellow man. 998 01:05:38,185 --> 01:05:41,688 "True nobility is being superior to your former self." 999 01:05:45,400 --> 01:05:48,737 Now, the first thing every gentleman needs is a good suit. 1000 01:05:48,904 --> 01:05:52,199 By which I mean, a bespoke suit. Never off-the-peg. 1001 01:05:52,366 --> 01:05:54,743 And Kingsman suits are always bulletproof. 1002 01:05:54,910 --> 01:05:57,704 So let's get you measured, and then, whether you get the job or not... 1003 01:05:57,871 --> 01:06:02,250 you'll have a lasting and useful memento of your time at Kingsman. 1004 01:06:02,417 --> 01:06:06,046 I'm so sorry, sir, but a gentleman is completing his fitting. 1005 01:06:06,213 --> 01:06:08,382 Fitting Room Two is available. 1006 01:06:08,548 --> 01:06:12,552 One does not use Fitting Room Two when one is popping one's cherry. 1007 01:06:13,637 --> 01:06:16,431 Perhaps I'll show you Fitting Room Three while we wait. 1008 01:06:26,817 --> 01:06:28,068 So we going up or down? 1009 01:06:28,235 --> 01:06:29,403 Neither. 1010 01:06:30,654 --> 01:06:31,655 Is this it? 1011 01:06:31,822 --> 01:06:34,908 Of course not. Pull the hook on your left. 1012 01:06:42,165 --> 01:06:42,916 Oh, yes. 1013 01:06:43,417 --> 01:06:45,585 Very, very nice. 1014 01:06:48,630 --> 01:06:51,133 You're going to need a pair of shoes to go with your suit. 1015 01:06:51,299 --> 01:06:55,429 An oxford is any formal shoe with open lacing. 1016 01:06:55,595 --> 01:06:58,807 This additional decorative piece is called broguing. 1017 01:06:58,974 --> 01:07:00,142 "Oxfords not brogues." 1018 01:07:00,308 --> 01:07:01,935 Words to live by, Eggsy. 1019 01:07:02,144 --> 01:07:04,771 Words to live by. Try a pair. 1020 01:07:05,522 --> 01:07:07,274 Your weapon scores are excellent, by the way. 1021 01:07:08,442 --> 01:07:11,695 These you are familiar with, and this is our standard issue pistol. 1022 01:07:11,862 --> 01:07:13,488 It's quite unique, as you'll see. 1023 01:07:13,655 --> 01:07:16,992 It also fires a shotgun cartridge for use in messy close-range situations. 1024 01:07:17,159 --> 01:07:18,618 -How do they feel? -Yeah, good. 1025 01:07:18,785 --> 01:07:20,120 Now do your very best impersonation... 1026 01:07:20,287 --> 01:07:21,955 of a German aristocrat's formal greeting. 1027 01:07:25,500 --> 01:07:26,710 No, Eggsy. 1028 01:07:30,839 --> 01:07:32,090 That is sick. 1029 01:07:33,133 --> 01:07:35,093 In the old days, they had a phone in the heel as well. 1030 01:07:35,260 --> 01:07:36,303 How do I get it back in? 1031 01:07:36,470 --> 01:07:40,348 Well, it's coated in one of the fastest acting neurotoxins known to man... 1032 01:07:40,515 --> 01:07:42,017 so very carefully. 1033 01:07:43,935 --> 01:07:47,647 Now, I've had a lot of fun with this. 1034 01:07:47,814 --> 01:07:50,817 One of our finest examples of chemical engineering. 1035 01:07:50,984 --> 01:07:53,487 A poison, harmless when ingested... 1036 01:07:53,653 --> 01:07:55,530 but at a time convenient to you... 1037 01:07:55,697 --> 01:07:59,701 can be remotely activated. Primed. 1038 01:08:01,161 --> 01:08:02,037 Lethal. 1039 01:08:03,371 --> 01:08:05,499 What about these? What do these do? 1040 01:08:05,874 --> 01:08:07,834 -Electrocute you? -Don't be ridiculous. 1041 01:08:08,001 --> 01:08:09,836 -It's a hand grenade. -Shut up! 1042 01:08:10,003 --> 01:08:12,297 If you want to electrocute someone, you'll need a signet ring. 1043 01:08:12,464 --> 01:08:14,549 A gentleman traditionally wears the signet on his left hand. 1044 01:08:14,716 --> 01:08:17,677 But a Kingsman wears it on whichever hand happens to be dominant. 1045 01:08:17,844 --> 01:08:19,179 Touch the contact behind the ring... 1046 01:08:19,346 --> 01:08:20,472 it delivers 50,000 volts. 1047 01:08:22,390 --> 01:08:24,851 And what about them? What makes them so special? 1048 01:08:25,018 --> 01:08:26,019 Nothing. 1049 01:08:26,186 --> 01:08:28,897 That technology has caught up with the spy world. 1050 01:08:29,898 --> 01:08:31,691 Put it back, Eggsy. 1051 01:08:34,069 --> 01:08:35,529 Perfect timing. 1052 01:08:35,695 --> 01:08:37,572 The gentleman's just finished. 1053 01:08:42,702 --> 01:08:44,037 Mr. DeVere! 1054 01:08:45,539 --> 01:08:47,207 What a coincidence. 1055 01:08:47,833 --> 01:08:50,710 You are totally the reason I'm here. 1056 01:08:50,919 --> 01:08:52,045 When you left my house... 1057 01:08:52,212 --> 01:08:56,007 I was thirsting for that dope-ass smoking jacket you had on. 1058 01:08:56,174 --> 01:08:57,676 And since I'm going to Royal Ascot... 1059 01:08:57,843 --> 01:08:59,886 and, apparently, you need one of these penguin suits... 1060 01:09:00,428 --> 01:09:01,596 here I am. 1061 01:09:02,180 --> 01:09:03,181 What are you doing here? 1062 01:09:03,431 --> 01:09:04,766 What's up, man? 1063 01:09:04,933 --> 01:09:06,059 Richmond Valentine. 1064 01:09:06,393 --> 01:09:09,396 This is my new valet. I was just introducing him to my tailor. 1065 01:09:09,563 --> 01:09:12,399 Another coincidence. So am I. 1066 01:09:12,774 --> 01:09:14,860 Have you had any chance to think further on my proposal? 1067 01:09:15,026 --> 01:09:16,027 Most definitely. 1068 01:09:16,236 --> 01:09:19,239 My people will be getting in touch with you very soon. 1069 01:09:19,406 --> 01:09:20,866 I guarantee it. 1070 01:09:21,575 --> 01:09:22,909 A word of advice. 1071 01:09:23,243 --> 01:09:25,453 Ascot requires top hat. 1072 01:09:26,454 --> 01:09:29,583 I might suggest Lock and Co. Hatters. 1073 01:09:30,417 --> 01:09:31,459 Saint James's. 1074 01:09:31,626 --> 01:09:32,878 "Lox" as in smoked fish? 1075 01:09:33,211 --> 01:09:35,755 As in, "locked up." 1076 01:09:38,800 --> 01:09:41,720 I have trouble understanding you people sometimes. 1077 01:09:42,304 --> 01:09:44,389 You all talk so funny. 1078 01:09:51,396 --> 01:09:54,482 Gentlemen, would you look after him, please? 1079 01:10:06,995 --> 01:10:08,288 Now this... 1080 01:10:08,455 --> 01:10:10,332 is a dope-ass top hat. 1081 01:10:12,000 --> 01:10:15,295 Gazelle, let's go ascoting. 1082 01:10:16,796 --> 01:10:18,006 Your hat looks fine, Gazelle. 1083 01:10:18,173 --> 01:10:21,009 Come on! Don't make me late for the queen. 1084 01:10:21,760 --> 01:10:24,429 Come on, Gazelle! We're gonna be late. 1085 01:10:24,596 --> 01:10:26,139 How far is Ascot? 1086 01:10:26,598 --> 01:10:27,641 How far? 1087 01:10:31,853 --> 01:10:33,146 Merlin said you wanted to see me, sir? 1088 01:10:33,647 --> 01:10:35,148 Sit down. 1089 01:10:40,362 --> 01:10:41,613 Pretty dog. 1090 01:10:42,030 --> 01:10:43,323 What's his name? 1091 01:10:43,490 --> 01:10:44,491 J.B. 1092 01:10:44,658 --> 01:10:46,826 -As in "James Bond"? -No. 1093 01:10:47,118 --> 01:10:48,620 "Jason Bourne"? 1094 01:10:48,787 --> 01:10:50,789 No. "Jack Bauer." 1095 01:10:51,122 --> 01:10:52,165 Oh! 1096 01:10:52,832 --> 01:10:53,833 Bravo. 1097 01:10:54,501 --> 01:10:55,627 It pains me to admit it... 1098 01:10:55,794 --> 01:10:58,672 but I think that one day, you might be as good a spy... 1099 01:10:58,838 --> 01:11:00,298 as any of them. 1100 01:11:07,347 --> 01:11:09,015 Take it. 1101 01:11:15,855 --> 01:11:17,065 Shoot the dog. 1102 01:11:23,863 --> 01:11:25,156 This weapon is live. 1103 01:11:28,368 --> 01:11:29,244 Shoot the dog. 1104 01:12:08,033 --> 01:12:09,075 Give me the gun. 1105 01:12:20,420 --> 01:12:22,130 At least the girl's got balls. 1106 01:12:25,759 --> 01:12:26,760 Get out. 1107 01:12:27,427 --> 01:12:29,429 I knew you couldn't make it. 1108 01:12:32,724 --> 01:12:34,059 Go home. 1109 01:12:35,560 --> 01:12:38,396 Merlin, send in Roxy, please. 1110 01:13:02,170 --> 01:13:05,173 Welcome to Kingsman... 1111 01:13:06,132 --> 01:13:07,258 Lancelot. 1112 01:13:30,615 --> 01:13:31,616 Mum! 1113 01:13:32,033 --> 01:13:33,159 Eggsy! 1114 01:13:33,368 --> 01:13:34,661 Oh, God. Where have you been? 1115 01:13:34,828 --> 01:13:36,830 I've been so worried about you. 1116 01:13:38,790 --> 01:13:42,043 Oh, my days. Look how big you've grown! 1117 01:13:47,841 --> 01:13:49,884 -Where is he? -I'm fine. 1118 01:13:50,051 --> 01:13:51,719 Eggsy, please, just don't get involved. 1119 01:13:51,886 --> 01:13:53,555 I should never have left you on your own. 1120 01:13:53,721 --> 01:13:56,141 This stops right now. 1121 01:13:56,307 --> 01:13:57,392 I'll be right back. 1122 01:13:57,559 --> 01:13:59,144 Eggs)'- 1123 01:14:01,521 --> 01:14:02,856 Oi, Dean! 1124 01:14:03,857 --> 01:14:05,692 Mugsy, so you're back. 1125 01:14:05,859 --> 01:14:07,735 What, you gone and nicked a fucking taxi, now? 1126 01:14:07,902 --> 01:14:09,320 Yeah. 1127 01:14:09,487 --> 01:14:11,531 Can I have a word about my mum's black eye? 1128 01:14:12,532 --> 01:14:14,242 You want to have a word with me, you get out of that cab... 1129 01:14:14,409 --> 01:14:16,077 I'll knock you straight back down on your fucking arse. 1130 01:14:18,329 --> 01:14:20,331 Tell your muppets to go inside, then I'll get out. 1131 01:14:22,584 --> 01:14:24,502 Go on, lads. It'll be two hits. 1132 01:14:24,669 --> 01:14:26,713 Me hitting him, him hitting the floor. 1133 01:14:27,213 --> 01:14:29,549 Come on, then, you prick. 1134 01:14:29,716 --> 01:14:31,593 Let's see what you got. Want a bit of me? 1135 01:14:31,759 --> 01:14:32,552 What are you doing? 1136 01:14:32,719 --> 01:14:33,595 No,no,no! 1137 01:14:33,761 --> 01:14:34,554 Get out of the fucking car! 1138 01:14:34,721 --> 01:14:36,598 What are you doing? Where you going, you mug? 1139 01:14:36,764 --> 01:14:38,057 Go on, you got no bollocks! 1140 01:14:38,850 --> 01:14:40,852 Come on, bruv, he hit my fucking mum! 1141 01:14:41,019 --> 01:14:42,395 Come back when you've grown a pair! 1142 01:14:42,562 --> 01:14:43,438 Mugsy! 1143 01:15:06,336 --> 01:15:07,337 You throw away... 1144 01:15:07,504 --> 01:15:11,466 your biggest opportunity over a fucking dog. 1145 01:15:12,467 --> 01:15:14,802 And then you humiliate me by stealing my boss's car. 1146 01:15:15,053 --> 01:15:17,138 You shot a dog just to get a fucking job. 1147 01:15:17,555 --> 01:15:18,556 Yes, I did. 1148 01:15:21,559 --> 01:15:25,438 And Mr. Pickle here reminds me of that every time I take a shit! 1149 01:15:27,023 --> 01:15:29,526 You shot your dog and had it stuffed? 1150 01:15:29,692 --> 01:15:30,902 You fucking freak. 1151 01:15:31,069 --> 01:15:32,445 No, I shot my dog... 1152 01:15:32,612 --> 01:15:34,280 and then I brought him home and continued to care for him... 1153 01:15:34,447 --> 01:15:36,866 for the next 11 years until he died of pancreatitis. 1154 01:15:37,617 --> 01:15:40,245 -What? -It was a blank, Eggsy. 1155 01:15:41,412 --> 01:15:43,081 It was a fucking blank. 1156 01:15:43,873 --> 01:15:45,250 Remember Amelia? 1157 01:15:45,416 --> 01:15:46,167 Yeah. 1158 01:15:46,334 --> 01:15:47,460 She didn't drown. 1159 01:15:47,627 --> 01:15:50,380 She works in our tech department in Berlin. She's fine. 1160 01:15:50,547 --> 01:15:51,756 Limits must be tested... 1161 01:15:51,923 --> 01:15:54,551 a Kingsman only condones the risking of a life to save another. 1162 01:15:54,717 --> 01:15:57,679 Like my dad saved your life even though your fuck-up cost his. 1163 01:15:57,845 --> 01:15:59,514 Or have you got him stuffed here and all? 1164 01:16:01,558 --> 01:16:04,644 Can't you see that everything I've done has been about trying to repay him? 1165 01:16:10,441 --> 01:16:12,110 Harry, listen to this. 1166 01:16:12,277 --> 01:16:14,028 Valentine is at last saying something of note. 1167 01:16:14,445 --> 01:16:16,698 Do you know what I love about pen and paper? 1168 01:16:17,198 --> 01:16:19,701 Nobody can hack into this shit. 1169 01:16:20,118 --> 01:16:23,454 Our worldwide tour was a complete success. 1170 01:16:23,621 --> 01:16:26,082 We have total coverall. 1171 01:16:26,249 --> 01:16:29,043 Like when all your numbers in bingo are crossed out. 1172 01:16:29,210 --> 01:16:30,086 Bingo? 1173 01:16:30,253 --> 01:16:33,631 Bingo, the game. You have played bingo, right? 1174 01:16:34,507 --> 01:16:36,301 Do I look like I play bingo? 1175 01:16:38,511 --> 01:16:39,554 Point is... 1176 01:16:40,221 --> 01:16:44,684 if our tests go well at the church tomorrow, we are good to go. 1177 01:16:44,851 --> 01:16:47,353 South Glade Mission Church. 1178 01:16:48,271 --> 01:16:50,440 -Merlin, get the plane ready. -Will do. 1179 01:16:50,607 --> 01:16:52,233 Harry, I'm so sorry. I'm gonna do whatever-- 1180 01:16:52,400 --> 01:16:53,401 You should be. 1181 01:16:53,568 --> 01:16:55,987 You just stay right there. I'll sort this mess out when I get back. 1182 01:17:02,368 --> 01:17:04,078 And I say to you... 1183 01:17:04,245 --> 01:17:05,496 bear witness! 1184 01:17:05,663 --> 01:17:08,249 Watch the news. Watch the news. 1185 01:17:08,416 --> 01:17:09,709 AIDS! 1186 01:17:10,168 --> 01:17:11,002 Floods! 1187 01:17:11,169 --> 01:17:13,296 The blood of the innocent, spilled! 1188 01:17:13,463 --> 01:17:18,635 And yet, there are those who doubt this is the wrath of God. 1189 01:17:20,470 --> 01:17:27,143 Our filthy government condones sodomy, divorce, abortion! 1190 01:17:27,310 --> 01:17:29,854 And yet, some still doubt... 1191 01:17:30,021 --> 01:17:33,900 this is the work of the antichrist! 1192 01:17:34,067 --> 01:17:38,946 You do not have to be a Jew, a nigger, a whore... 1193 01:17:39,113 --> 01:17:41,866 or an atheistic, science-loving evolution spouter... 1194 01:17:42,200 --> 01:17:43,660 Charming sermon. 1195 01:17:43,826 --> 01:17:45,495 Can you see Valentine anywhere? 1196 01:17:45,662 --> 01:17:47,080 So, my friends... 1197 01:17:47,246 --> 01:17:50,291 although he is a just God, he is justly a vengeful one... 1198 01:17:50,458 --> 01:17:53,419 and there can be no turning back... 1199 01:17:53,586 --> 01:17:55,213 from the almighty wrath... 1200 01:17:55,380 --> 01:17:56,839 Are you sure we're out of range? 1201 01:17:57,090 --> 01:17:58,633 We're over 1,000 feet away. What's wrong? 1202 01:17:58,800 --> 01:18:00,051 What if the calculations are wrong? 1203 01:18:00,218 --> 01:18:01,803 You just have to trust me. 1204 01:18:03,012 --> 01:18:07,475 ...Jew, nigger, fag lovers, and the devil is burning them... 1205 01:18:07,642 --> 01:18:08,935 for all eternity. 1206 01:18:09,102 --> 01:18:10,269 Would you excuse me? 1207 01:18:11,270 --> 01:18:12,105 Where are you going? 1208 01:18:12,939 --> 01:18:14,732 Hey! What's your problem? 1209 01:18:16,317 --> 01:18:17,735 I'm a Catholic whore... 1210 01:18:17,902 --> 01:18:21,489 currently enjoying congress out of wedlock with my black, Jewish boyfriend... 1211 01:18:21,656 --> 01:18:24,200 who works in a military abortion clinic. 1212 01:18:24,784 --> 01:18:26,119 So, hail Satan... 1213 01:18:26,285 --> 01:18:28,287 and have a lovely afternoon, madam. 1214 01:18:31,666 --> 01:18:33,084 Oh, shit. He's leaving. 1215 01:18:33,251 --> 01:18:34,836 I'm starting the test now. 1216 01:18:35,294 --> 01:18:37,380 Let's hope enough of these freaks have our SIM cards. 1217 01:18:40,174 --> 01:18:43,052 I kindly ask you to sit down, my friend! 1218 01:18:43,219 --> 01:18:44,262 Just leave this church! 1219 01:18:44,429 --> 01:18:46,806 You just leave this church like the infidel you are! 1220 01:18:49,350 --> 01:18:52,562 Satan cannot save you now! You will eat your babies. 1221 01:18:52,729 --> 01:18:56,232 You will drown in the blood of the Lord! 1222 01:18:56,399 --> 01:18:57,859 He will not save you! 1223 01:19:04,073 --> 01:19:05,074 Holy fuck! 1224 01:19:06,826 --> 01:19:08,995 Shit, I can't watch this. Get over here. 1225 01:19:50,995 --> 01:19:52,997 Jeez! Fuck. 1226 01:19:53,873 --> 01:19:56,000 Galahad, can you hear me? 1227 01:19:56,417 --> 01:19:57,251 Harry! 1228 01:19:57,794 --> 01:20:00,171 Harry, what the heck is going on? 1229 01:20:01,339 --> 01:20:02,799 Could you turn the volume down, please? 1230 01:20:04,133 --> 01:20:06,093 I didn't expect it to be that effective. 1231 01:20:06,260 --> 01:20:07,386 What kind of response are we talking? 1232 01:20:08,262 --> 01:20:09,263 100 percent. 1233 01:20:10,389 --> 01:20:13,392 So, everyone's been affected, whether they have a SIM card or not. 1234 01:20:13,810 --> 01:20:15,978 And we get the added benefit of wiping out the Kingsman. 1235 01:20:16,604 --> 01:20:18,439 Not yet. 1236 01:21:13,411 --> 01:21:14,704 You need to see this. 1237 01:23:11,779 --> 01:23:13,614 What did you do to me? 1238 01:23:13,948 --> 01:23:15,574 I had no control. 1239 01:23:16,909 --> 01:23:18,369 I killed all those people. 1240 01:23:20,329 --> 01:23:21,539 I wanted to. 1241 01:23:21,706 --> 01:23:22,790 Clever, isn't it? 1242 01:23:22,957 --> 01:23:25,668 In simple terms, it's a neurological wave... 1243 01:23:25,835 --> 01:23:27,378 that triggers the centers of aggression... 1244 01:23:27,545 --> 01:23:29,255 and switches off inhibitors. 1245 01:23:29,797 --> 01:23:32,717 Transmitted through your nasty, free SIM cards, I assume. 1246 01:23:35,970 --> 01:23:37,847 Do you know what this is like? 1247 01:23:38,055 --> 01:23:41,308 It's like those old movies we both love. 1248 01:23:41,475 --> 01:23:44,562 Now, I'm going to tell you my whole plan... 1249 01:23:44,729 --> 01:23:47,982 and then I'm going to come up with some absurd and convoluted way to kill you... 1250 01:23:48,149 --> 01:23:50,776 and you'll find an equally convoluted way to escape. 1251 01:23:51,861 --> 01:23:53,320 Sounds good to me. 1252 01:23:54,071 --> 01:23:56,198 Well, this ain't that kind of movie. 1253 01:23:59,827 --> 01:24:02,329 No! 1254 01:24:10,463 --> 01:24:12,173 Is he dead? 1255 01:24:12,339 --> 01:24:14,800 That tends to happen when you shoot someone in the head. 1256 01:24:15,009 --> 01:24:16,135 It feels good, right? 1257 01:24:16,594 --> 01:24:18,679 No, no, it does not feel good. It feels fucking awful. 1258 01:24:18,846 --> 01:24:21,140 What? You just killed how many people in that church? 1259 01:24:21,307 --> 01:24:22,266 This is one guy. 1260 01:24:22,433 --> 01:24:24,435 No, no, they killed each other. 1261 01:24:27,313 --> 01:24:29,231 Okay, send out the countdown clock. 1262 01:24:29,398 --> 01:24:32,068 This party starts tomorrow. 1263 01:25:06,727 --> 01:25:08,104 Arthur? 1264 01:25:10,231 --> 01:25:11,732 Are you there? 1265 01:25:12,024 --> 01:25:14,193 Sadly, I am. 1266 01:25:14,568 --> 01:25:18,030 Assemble the Kingsmen. 1267 01:25:21,784 --> 01:25:25,871 Can't you see that everything I've done has been about trying to repay him? 1268 01:25:46,392 --> 01:25:48,769 I see a young man with potential... 1269 01:25:49,562 --> 01:25:52,231 who wants to do something good with his life. 1270 01:26:08,914 --> 01:26:11,250 Arthur, Harry's dead. 1271 01:26:11,917 --> 01:26:14,336 Galahad is dead. 1272 01:26:14,503 --> 01:26:16,922 Hence, we have just drunk a toast to him. 1273 01:26:17,590 --> 01:26:20,134 Well, then you know what that psycho's doing. 1274 01:26:20,301 --> 01:26:22,928 How many people around the world have got those SIM cards? 1275 01:26:23,095 --> 01:26:25,472 Valentine can send his signal to any of them, all of them. 1276 01:26:25,639 --> 01:26:27,683 If they all go homicidal at the same time then-- 1277 01:26:27,850 --> 01:26:30,144 Indeed, and thanks to Galahad's recordings... 1278 01:26:30,311 --> 01:26:32,938 we have Valentine's confession. 1279 01:26:33,105 --> 01:26:36,483 The intelligence has been passed on to the relevant authorities. 1280 01:26:36,650 --> 01:26:37,985 Our work is complete... 1281 01:26:38,152 --> 01:26:42,615 and a most distinguished legacy for our fallen friend, it is, too. 1282 01:26:43,449 --> 01:26:44,617 And that's it? 1283 01:26:45,784 --> 01:26:46,952 Come sit down, boy. 1284 01:26:50,331 --> 01:26:55,336 This is an 1815 Napoleonic brandy. 1285 01:26:56,378 --> 01:26:59,632 And we only drink it when we lose a Kingsman. 1286 01:27:00,299 --> 01:27:03,302 Galahad was very fond of you. 1287 01:27:05,471 --> 01:27:07,890 And on this occasion... 1288 01:27:08,057 --> 01:27:11,393 I think it's acceptable for us to bend the rules a little. 1289 01:27:13,812 --> 01:27:14,980 Are these all Kingsmen? 1290 01:27:15,147 --> 01:27:17,483 Yes, they're founder members. 1291 01:27:18,859 --> 01:27:20,903 I want you to join me in a toast. 1292 01:27:23,155 --> 01:27:25,157 To Galahad. 1293 01:27:26,158 --> 01:27:27,660 To Galahad. 1294 01:27:32,206 --> 01:27:34,833 Harry says you don't like to break rules, Arthur. 1295 01:27:35,334 --> 01:27:36,418 Why now? 1296 01:27:36,585 --> 01:27:37,836 You're very good, Eggsy. 1297 01:27:38,003 --> 01:27:41,590 Perhaps I will make you my proposal for Galahad's position. 1298 01:27:42,508 --> 01:27:45,219 Provided, of course, that we can see eye to eye... 1299 01:27:45,386 --> 01:27:47,513 on certain political matters. 1300 01:27:50,349 --> 01:27:51,892 Can you guess... 1301 01:27:53,018 --> 01:27:54,603 what this is? 1302 01:27:54,770 --> 01:27:56,438 I don't have to. Harry showed me. 1303 01:27:56,605 --> 01:27:58,107 You click it. I die. 1304 01:27:58,274 --> 01:28:00,067 I thought that brandy tasted a bit shit. 1305 01:28:02,027 --> 01:28:02,695 Bravo. 1306 01:28:03,362 --> 01:28:06,532 Valentine won you over, somehow. 1307 01:28:06,699 --> 01:28:09,535 Once he explained, I understood. 1308 01:28:09,702 --> 01:28:10,953 When you get a virus... 1309 01:28:11,245 --> 01:28:12,454 you get a fever. 1310 01:28:12,621 --> 01:28:16,625 That's the human body raising its core temperature to kill the virus. 1311 01:28:16,792 --> 01:28:19,044 Planet Earth works the same way. 1312 01:28:19,211 --> 01:28:21,130 Global warming is the fever. 1313 01:28:21,297 --> 01:28:24,091 Mankind is the virus. 1314 01:28:24,258 --> 01:28:26,635 We're making our planet sick. 1315 01:28:26,802 --> 01:28:29,388 A cull is our only hope. 1316 01:28:29,555 --> 01:28:31,807 If we don't reduce our population ourselves... 1317 01:28:31,974 --> 01:28:34,560 there is only one of two ways this can go. 1318 01:28:34,727 --> 01:28:38,981 The host kills the virus, or the virus kills the host. 1319 01:28:39,273 --> 01:28:40,149 Either way... 1320 01:28:40,316 --> 01:28:42,776 The result is the same. 1321 01:28:42,943 --> 01:28:44,570 The virus dies. 1322 01:28:45,654 --> 01:28:49,074 So Valentine's gonna take care of the population problem himself. 1323 01:28:49,241 --> 01:28:51,744 Well, if we don't do something, nature will. 1324 01:28:51,910 --> 01:28:56,248 Sometimes a culling is the only way to ensure that this species survives... 1325 01:28:56,957 --> 01:28:59,084 and history will see Valentine... 1326 01:28:59,251 --> 01:29:01,503 as the man who saved humanity from extinction. 1327 01:29:02,087 --> 01:29:05,424 And he gets to pick and choose who gets culled, does he? 1328 01:29:05,591 --> 01:29:06,800 All his rich mates, they get to live... 1329 01:29:06,967 --> 01:29:09,470 and anyone he thinks is worth saving, he's keeping them safe... 1330 01:29:09,636 --> 01:29:11,597 whether they agree with him or not. 1331 01:29:11,764 --> 01:29:13,932 And you, Eggsy. 1332 01:29:14,475 --> 01:29:16,435 In Harry's honor... 1333 01:29:16,602 --> 01:29:21,273 I am inviting you to be part of a new world. 1334 01:29:23,359 --> 01:29:25,652 It's time to make your decision. 1335 01:29:32,534 --> 01:29:34,495 I'd rather be with Harry. 1336 01:29:35,120 --> 01:29:36,038 Thanks. 1337 01:29:36,789 --> 01:29:38,165 So be it. 1338 01:29:54,473 --> 01:29:57,726 The problem with us common types... 1339 01:29:57,893 --> 01:29:59,478 is that we're light-fingered. 1340 01:30:00,687 --> 01:30:02,398 Kingsman's taught me a lot... 1341 01:30:02,564 --> 01:30:03,816 but sleight of hand... 1342 01:30:04,483 --> 01:30:06,235 Yes, they're founder members. 1343 01:30:08,862 --> 01:30:10,155 I had that down already. 1344 01:30:12,491 --> 01:30:16,078 You dirty little fucking... 1345 01:30:16,245 --> 01:30:17,663 prick. 1346 01:30:51,947 --> 01:30:53,699 It's okay, Lancelot. Put it down. 1347 01:30:54,867 --> 01:30:56,410 It's verified. 1348 01:30:58,787 --> 01:31:01,373 Arthur's phone is receiving update texts about getting to safety. 1349 01:31:01,540 --> 01:31:03,292 -We don't have a lot of time. -What are you going to do? 1350 01:31:03,459 --> 01:31:05,586 The question is, what are we going to do? 1351 01:31:05,752 --> 01:31:08,464 God knows who's in Valentine's pocket and who's not. 1352 01:31:09,131 --> 01:31:10,632 We have no choice. 1353 01:31:11,717 --> 01:31:13,802 We are gonna have to deal with this ourselves. 1354 01:31:17,222 --> 01:31:18,557 Follow me. 1355 01:31:37,451 --> 01:31:38,744 What the fuck is this? 1356 01:31:38,911 --> 01:31:40,746 I have no idea. 1357 01:31:41,747 --> 01:31:42,915 What you're playing with... 1358 01:31:43,081 --> 01:31:45,792 is a prototype personal transatmospheric vehicle. 1359 01:31:45,959 --> 01:31:48,253 It was developed as part of Reagan's Star Wars project. 1360 01:31:48,420 --> 01:31:51,340 It's pretty basic, but it should still work. 1361 01:31:51,590 --> 01:31:53,967 We're gonna take out one of Valentine's satellites. 1362 01:31:54,343 --> 01:31:56,803 We're gonna break the chain, stop the signal. 1363 01:31:56,970 --> 01:31:58,639 It'll take him a couple of hours to reroute it... 1364 01:31:59,306 --> 01:32:03,685 which buys us enough time for you to get me into Valentine's mainframe... 1365 01:32:03,852 --> 01:32:05,646 so I can shut it down. 1366 01:32:05,812 --> 01:32:08,106 Lancelot, you're going to be using it. 1367 01:32:08,273 --> 01:32:09,650 Get into your halo suit. 1368 01:32:22,287 --> 01:32:24,039 Swedish Prime Minister, requesting permission to land. 1369 01:32:30,045 --> 01:32:31,797 Permission granted. 1370 01:32:35,384 --> 01:32:37,886 -Please. -Thank you. 1371 01:32:38,053 --> 01:32:40,138 -How many more are we expecting? -Not many. 1372 01:32:40,305 --> 01:32:41,640 Most have their own bunkers. 1373 01:32:41,807 --> 01:32:45,143 I figure we're just getting the really nervous ones. 1374 01:32:45,394 --> 01:32:47,396 Welcome, Prime Minister. 1375 01:32:48,689 --> 01:32:51,650 It seems the implant can emit some kind of counter signal... 1376 01:32:51,817 --> 01:32:55,487 to ensure the wearer remains unaffected by the waves from the SIM cards. 1377 01:32:55,654 --> 01:32:57,698 The waves that turn everyone into a psycho killer. 1378 01:32:57,864 --> 01:33:00,409 Quite. But what he probably didn't tell anyone... 1379 01:33:00,576 --> 01:33:04,830 is it can also super heat their soft tissue at his command. 1380 01:33:04,997 --> 01:33:09,167 Valentine selected his chosen few to get the countdown warning... 1381 01:33:09,334 --> 01:33:12,170 but he had to be sure they didn't blab to the wrong people beforehand. 1382 01:33:12,337 --> 01:33:14,047 How does this help us right now? 1383 01:33:15,007 --> 01:33:16,008 It doesn't. 1384 01:33:16,383 --> 01:33:17,759 Roxy, here we go! 1385 01:33:30,689 --> 01:33:34,276 The higher you go, the more the balloons expand. 1386 01:33:34,443 --> 01:33:36,278 When you reach the edge of the atmosphere... 1387 01:33:36,445 --> 01:33:38,572 they'll explode. 1388 01:33:38,739 --> 01:33:40,741 You'll need to deploy your missile just before that, okay? 1389 01:33:40,907 --> 01:33:42,242 Edge of the atmosphere. 1390 01:33:42,409 --> 01:33:45,704 And once you've deployed, you'll need to release for descent, fast. 1391 01:33:46,705 --> 01:33:47,956 Good luck. 1392 01:33:50,292 --> 01:33:52,294 -You can do this, okay? -Yeah. 1393 01:33:52,461 --> 01:33:55,255 Eggsy, come on. Time is not our friend. 1394 01:34:17,736 --> 01:34:19,738 You're getting in on Arthur's invitation. 1395 01:34:19,905 --> 01:34:21,114 You're gonna need to blend in. 1396 01:34:21,281 --> 01:34:22,407 I'm supposed to be Arthur? 1397 01:34:22,574 --> 01:34:25,577 His invitation is in his phone. You give them this. 1398 01:34:25,744 --> 01:34:28,246 -Give his real name, Chester King. -What about you? 1399 01:34:28,413 --> 01:34:29,831 I'm your pilot. I'm gonna stay here. 1400 01:34:30,916 --> 01:34:32,000 Is that gonna fit me? 1401 01:34:32,167 --> 01:34:34,670 A bespoke suit always fits. 1402 01:34:34,836 --> 01:34:36,630 Just be grateful Harry had it made for you. 1403 01:34:37,589 --> 01:34:38,590 Get dressed. 1404 01:34:40,050 --> 01:34:41,093 What the fuck's wrong with them? 1405 01:34:41,426 --> 01:34:44,179 I don't know. Could have something to do with the mass genocide. 1406 01:34:44,346 --> 01:34:46,264 Give me the mic. 1407 01:34:48,100 --> 01:34:49,643 Hey-oh! 1408 01:34:49,810 --> 01:34:52,729 Everybody, listen up! Hello, hello! 1409 01:34:52,896 --> 01:34:55,107 What the fuck is wrong with you people? 1410 01:34:55,273 --> 01:34:58,110 I just wanna remind you that today... 1411 01:34:58,276 --> 01:35:00,862 is a day of celebration. 1412 01:35:01,697 --> 01:35:05,200 We must put aside all thoughts of death... 1413 01:35:05,367 --> 01:35:07,244 and focus on birth. 1414 01:35:08,328 --> 01:35:10,747 The birth of a new age. 1415 01:35:11,957 --> 01:35:16,920 We mustn't mourn those who give their lives today. 1416 01:35:17,087 --> 01:35:19,047 We should honor their sacrifice... 1417 01:35:19,214 --> 01:35:21,216 Has she got my number to call me back? I got a new phone. 1418 01:35:21,383 --> 01:35:24,553 ...and their roles in saving the human race. 1419 01:35:26,972 --> 01:35:30,642 We must put aside doubt and guilt. 1420 01:35:32,060 --> 01:35:35,605 You are the chosen people. 1421 01:35:37,232 --> 01:35:40,694 When folks tell their kids the story of Noah's Ark... 1422 01:35:40,861 --> 01:35:41,820 is Noah the bad guy? 1423 01:35:41,987 --> 01:35:42,654 No! 1424 01:35:42,821 --> 01:35:44,823 Is God the bad guy? 1425 01:35:44,990 --> 01:35:45,657 No! 1426 01:35:45,824 --> 01:35:48,243 How about the animals marching two by two? 1427 01:35:48,410 --> 01:35:49,202 No! 1428 01:35:49,369 --> 01:35:50,162 Of course not! 1429 01:35:51,288 --> 01:35:52,622 Yeah, that's it! 1430 01:35:52,789 --> 01:35:56,585 Let's turn those frowns upside down. 1431 01:35:56,752 --> 01:35:58,587 Eat, drink... 1432 01:35:58,754 --> 01:36:00,422 and Pam'! 1433 01:36:03,467 --> 01:36:06,011 And I will see you all in the new age. 1434 01:36:31,244 --> 01:36:33,371 Rox, it's me. 1435 01:36:33,872 --> 01:36:35,207 How's the view? 1436 01:36:38,043 --> 01:36:40,128 -Hideous -Mine's pretty sweet. 1437 01:36:40,295 --> 01:36:43,215 -They made you one of these suits yet? -No, not yet. 1438 01:36:43,381 --> 01:36:45,717 You've got something to look forward to then. 1439 01:36:45,884 --> 01:36:48,470 We're coming up on Valentine's base. Gotta go. 1440 01:36:49,930 --> 01:36:51,223 Good luck. 1441 01:36:58,897 --> 01:36:59,898 Looking good, Eggsy. 1442 01:37:02,567 --> 01:37:05,278 Feeling good, Merlin. 1443 01:37:10,575 --> 01:37:12,160 This is November-2-4-7-Charlie-Kilo... 1444 01:37:12,327 --> 01:37:14,746 requesting permission to land. 1445 01:37:17,749 --> 01:37:20,293 Permission is granted. 1446 01:37:23,964 --> 01:37:25,757 Fuck me. 1447 01:37:52,951 --> 01:37:55,412 Eggsy, we're on. 1448 01:38:10,135 --> 01:38:11,136 Chester King. 1449 01:38:12,137 --> 01:38:14,097 Mr. King, welcome. 1450 01:38:14,472 --> 01:38:18,268 I'm sure you've adhered to Valentine's strict no-weapons policy... 1451 01:38:18,435 --> 01:38:19,769 -but if you don't object... -Of course. 1452 01:38:19,936 --> 01:38:21,146 Thank you. 1453 01:38:21,646 --> 01:38:23,773 Do you have any luggage? 1454 01:38:24,774 --> 01:38:28,194 Congratulations, Mycroft, you just graduated from my pilot to my valet. 1455 01:38:28,820 --> 01:38:31,281 -You cheeky-— -Understood? 1456 01:38:31,448 --> 01:38:32,699 Good. 1457 01:38:33,992 --> 01:38:35,619 Thank you. 1458 01:39:00,894 --> 01:39:05,523 Eggsy, find a laptop, get me online. The clock is ticking. 1459 01:39:06,691 --> 01:39:09,402 And remember, try to blend in. 1460 01:39:09,569 --> 01:39:11,529 Would sir care for a drink? 1461 01:39:12,155 --> 01:39:13,365 Martini. 1462 01:39:13,531 --> 01:39:15,700 Gin, not vodka, obviously. 1463 01:39:15,867 --> 01:39:19,579 Stirred for 10 seconds while glancing at an unopened bottle of Vermouth. 1464 01:39:20,205 --> 01:39:21,414 Thank you. 1465 01:39:24,209 --> 01:39:26,002 Merlin, are you clocking this? 1466 01:39:26,211 --> 01:39:28,254 Yes, I am. Stay focused. 1467 01:39:28,880 --> 01:39:31,049 Lancelot, you're doing great. Not much further to go. 1468 01:39:31,758 --> 01:39:32,884 Yes, Merlin. 1469 01:39:34,386 --> 01:39:36,680 Eggsy, get me online now. 1470 01:39:37,597 --> 01:39:38,598 Yep, I'm on it. 1471 01:39:39,766 --> 01:39:41,893 Lancelot, you're approaching your altitude limit. 1472 01:39:42,227 --> 01:39:44,020 Those balloons won't last much longer. 1473 01:39:44,896 --> 01:39:46,856 Prepare to engage missile. 1474 01:40:02,247 --> 01:40:03,456 Society's dead. 1475 01:40:03,915 --> 01:40:05,750 Long live society. 1476 01:40:06,751 --> 01:40:08,086 Amen to that. 1477 01:40:09,546 --> 01:40:11,589 -I'm Morten Lindström. -Chester King. 1478 01:40:11,923 --> 01:40:13,258 How'd you get online? I couldn't. 1479 01:40:13,633 --> 01:40:16,594 It's a closed network, you see. Pre-authorized connections only. 1480 01:40:20,807 --> 01:40:22,100 I've got a fix on the satellite. 1481 01:40:22,267 --> 01:40:23,393 Do you have the correct time? 1482 01:40:23,560 --> 01:40:24,769 I think I'm still in my last time zone. 1483 01:40:24,936 --> 01:40:26,312 Yeah, yeah. Let's see now. 1484 01:40:40,410 --> 01:40:41,411 Eggsy, I'm in. 1485 01:40:41,578 --> 01:40:42,662 Get your arse back to the plane, now. 1486 01:40:42,829 --> 01:40:44,414 -On my way. -Lancelot, good luck! 1487 01:40:44,581 --> 01:40:46,750 Firing in 3...2... 1488 01:40:54,132 --> 01:40:55,133 Nice and slow. 1489 01:40:55,300 --> 01:40:56,468 Fuck are you doing here? 1490 01:40:56,634 --> 01:40:58,970 Well, my family were invited, obviously. 1491 01:40:59,137 --> 01:41:00,764 Now, get the fuck up! Slowly. 1492 01:41:01,973 --> 01:41:03,850 Shit. Lancelot, hurry up and fire! 1493 01:41:04,017 --> 01:41:05,602 That other balloon is gonna blow! 1494 01:41:05,769 --> 01:41:08,813 Yes, Merlin. I've nearly got it. Give me a second! 1495 01:41:10,690 --> 01:41:13,610 Valentine! I've caught a fucking spy! 1496 01:41:14,277 --> 01:41:15,320 V-Glass, zoom. 1497 01:41:15,487 --> 01:41:17,530 Oh, fuck! It's that young valet. 1498 01:41:21,659 --> 01:41:23,036 Son of a bitch. 1499 01:41:23,620 --> 01:41:24,704 Got it! 1500 01:41:34,839 --> 01:41:36,132 Oh, shit. Sound the alarm! 1501 01:41:38,676 --> 01:41:39,719 I'm not taking any chances. 1502 01:41:39,886 --> 01:41:41,387 Okay, you send out the two-minute warning. 1503 01:41:41,554 --> 01:41:44,015 I'm starting the override. All right, let's do this. 1504 01:41:45,350 --> 01:41:46,976 Countdown initiated. 1505 01:41:56,694 --> 01:41:58,363 -You see him? -Right here. 1506 01:42:07,163 --> 01:42:08,414 Eggsy, take a left. 1507 01:42:09,207 --> 01:42:10,208 Two guards, up ahead. 1508 01:42:22,554 --> 01:42:23,847 Lancelot! Release now! 1509 01:42:34,899 --> 01:42:36,693 Eggsy, straight ahead, then right. 1510 01:42:37,068 --> 01:42:38,069 There's two more. 1511 01:42:41,781 --> 01:42:43,867 All right, everybody on your feet! 1512 01:42:44,033 --> 01:42:45,243 Countdown to V-day! 1513 01:42:45,410 --> 01:42:46,911 Welcome in the new age! 1514 01:42:55,295 --> 01:42:56,379 Flat spin. 1515 01:43:11,561 --> 01:43:14,397 Eggsy, next left, down the narrow tunnel! 1516 01:43:23,156 --> 01:43:24,157 Here we go! 1517 01:43:24,324 --> 01:43:24,949 10... 1518 01:43:25,950 --> 01:43:27,285 9... 1519 01:43:27,785 --> 01:43:28,494 8... 1520 01:43:29,454 --> 01:43:30,121 7... 1521 01:43:31,372 --> 01:43:32,207 6... 1522 01:43:33,041 --> 01:43:34,125 5... 1523 01:43:34,709 --> 01:43:35,460 4... 1524 01:43:36,961 --> 01:43:37,712 3... 1525 01:43:37,879 --> 01:43:38,630 2... 1526 01:43:39,631 --> 01:43:40,506 1 ! 1527 01:43:46,554 --> 01:43:48,389 Nice! Well done, both of you. 1528 01:43:49,140 --> 01:43:50,141 It's not working! 1529 01:43:50,308 --> 01:43:52,352 It's supposed to be working! What the fuck? 1530 01:43:59,150 --> 01:43:59,817 Yes! 1531 01:43:59,984 --> 01:44:01,319 Well done, Rox. Good girl. 1532 01:44:04,697 --> 01:44:07,200 We've lost one of our satellites. 1533 01:44:16,751 --> 01:44:20,505 Oh, no, no. There's no way I can hack past that. 1534 01:44:26,094 --> 01:44:27,095 What's going on? 1535 01:44:28,263 --> 01:44:29,347 Is there a problem? 1536 01:44:30,515 --> 01:44:31,849 Come on. There's no need for guns. 1537 01:44:32,016 --> 01:44:33,518 I'm just a pilot. 1538 01:44:36,521 --> 01:44:37,563 Fuck. Merlin! 1539 01:44:40,358 --> 01:44:41,943 Get in here! 1540 01:44:46,197 --> 01:44:47,365 Come on! 1541 01:44:50,910 --> 01:44:52,245 Let's get the fuck out of here! 1542 01:44:52,412 --> 01:44:53,413 We can't. 1543 01:44:53,579 --> 01:44:55,039 I can't get into Valentine's machine. 1544 01:44:55,206 --> 01:44:56,791 He's got biometric security. 1545 01:44:58,293 --> 01:45:01,587 You're gonna have to get in there and make sure his hand never touches that desk. 1546 01:45:01,754 --> 01:45:03,298 Are you taking the fucking piss? 1547 01:45:03,464 --> 01:45:04,716 I'm afraid not. 1548 01:45:07,885 --> 01:45:08,886 Let's have that then. 1549 01:45:10,555 --> 01:45:11,889 This is mine. 1550 01:45:12,390 --> 01:45:14,309 I'll show you yours. 1551 01:45:31,659 --> 01:45:32,577 Good choice. 1552 01:45:35,288 --> 01:45:36,831 How long to re-link the satellite chain? 1553 01:45:36,998 --> 01:45:38,249 It'll take an hour, maybe two. 1554 01:45:38,416 --> 01:45:40,501 Bullshit! Just bring these two closer together. 1555 01:45:40,668 --> 01:45:42,003 But that's not yours. 1556 01:45:47,675 --> 01:45:49,427 V-Glass, call E-man. 1557 01:45:50,261 --> 01:45:51,596 E, it's V. 1558 01:45:51,763 --> 01:45:53,765 Listen, man, I got a little hiccup on this end. 1559 01:45:53,931 --> 01:45:54,932 I need to piggyback. 1560 01:45:55,099 --> 01:45:59,103 One of my satellites just went down, but it's right next to one of yours. 1561 01:45:59,645 --> 01:46:01,105 You read my mind. 1562 01:46:01,773 --> 01:46:03,358 How long before you make that happen? 1563 01:46:06,444 --> 01:46:07,487 Go. 1564 01:46:11,657 --> 01:46:13,618 All right, we should be coming back online. 1565 01:46:16,537 --> 01:46:17,455 10 percent. 1566 01:46:20,625 --> 01:46:21,376 Shit! 1567 01:46:21,542 --> 01:46:23,336 Eggsy, Valentine's using someone else's satellite. 1568 01:46:23,503 --> 01:46:25,463 He's going to reconnect the chain. 1569 01:46:25,630 --> 01:46:27,048 It's going to take him no time at all. 1570 01:46:28,049 --> 01:46:29,133 It's at 20 percent. 1571 01:46:47,068 --> 01:46:50,321 Eggsy, it seems Valentine's got a present for you. Get a move on! 1572 01:47:23,855 --> 01:47:25,231 Is that Kingsman kid dead yet? 1573 01:47:25,440 --> 01:47:27,066 Not yet, but he will be soon. 1574 01:47:27,233 --> 01:47:28,943 Good. 1575 01:47:41,873 --> 01:47:42,874 Merlin, I'm fucked. 1576 01:47:56,095 --> 01:47:57,096 As am I. 1577 01:47:57,263 --> 01:47:59,599 They're coming at me from both sides. I'm out of options. 1578 01:48:00,057 --> 01:48:02,894 Rox, I need a favor. 1579 01:48:03,060 --> 01:48:04,103 Call my mum. 1580 01:48:04,270 --> 01:48:05,813 Tell her to lock herself away from Dean. 1581 01:48:06,606 --> 01:48:07,482 And the baby... 1582 01:48:09,108 --> 01:48:10,109 and tell her I love her. 1583 01:48:19,076 --> 01:48:20,328 For fuck's sake. 1584 01:48:24,665 --> 01:48:27,835 Merlin, remember those implants you said were of no use to us? 1585 01:48:29,629 --> 01:48:30,796 Any chance you can turn them on? 1586 01:48:34,509 --> 01:48:35,301 All right. 1587 01:48:35,468 --> 01:48:37,929 My turn to play, Valentine. 1588 01:48:46,437 --> 01:48:47,605 Oh, no! 1589 01:48:47,772 --> 01:48:50,191 What the fuck is he doing? I can't stop this. 1590 01:49:03,621 --> 01:49:04,664 Yes, please. 1591 01:49:08,334 --> 01:49:09,502 No! 1592 01:50:06,267 --> 01:50:08,352 Oh, my God! 1593 01:50:08,519 --> 01:50:10,521 That is fucking spectacular! 1594 01:50:10,688 --> 01:50:13,441 Merlin, you're a fucking genius! 1595 01:50:13,608 --> 01:50:16,777 What the fuck is happening out there? 1596 01:50:21,073 --> 01:50:22,366 Aren't you that princess who went missing? 1597 01:50:22,533 --> 01:50:23,576 Can you get me out? 1598 01:50:24,201 --> 01:50:26,120 If I do, will you give me a kiss? 1599 01:50:26,287 --> 01:50:27,705 I've always wanted to kiss a princess. 1600 01:50:27,872 --> 01:50:29,874 If you get me out right now, I'll give you more than just a kiss. 1601 01:50:32,126 --> 01:50:33,377 You motherfucker. 1602 01:50:33,544 --> 01:50:35,379 Did you really think I was stupid enough... 1603 01:50:35,546 --> 01:50:37,715 to implant one of those things in my own head? 1604 01:50:38,174 --> 01:50:39,717 What are you, fucking crazy? 1605 01:50:40,676 --> 01:50:42,970 All those innocent people killed and for what? 1606 01:50:43,846 --> 01:50:46,682 You didn't stop shit! 1607 01:50:48,059 --> 01:50:50,061 Fine, I've looked the door. What do you want me to do now? 1608 01:50:50,227 --> 01:50:53,064 As I said, put your daughter in the bathroom and throw away the key. 1609 01:50:53,856 --> 01:50:56,233 It's still happening! 1610 01:50:56,400 --> 01:50:57,568 You're fucking insane! 1611 01:50:57,735 --> 01:50:58,861 Just do it. 1612 01:51:26,180 --> 01:51:27,515 Eggsy, the signal's started! 1613 01:51:27,682 --> 01:51:30,851 Get Valentine's hand off that bloody desk now! 1614 01:51:31,018 --> 01:51:31,936 Sorry, love. 1615 01:51:32,353 --> 01:51:33,437 Got to save the world. 1616 01:51:33,604 --> 01:51:35,189 If you save the world... 1617 01:51:35,356 --> 01:51:37,024 we can do it in the asshole. 1618 01:51:38,275 --> 01:51:40,194 I'll be right back. 1619 01:51:41,612 --> 01:51:42,571 Good luck! 1620 01:51:49,370 --> 01:51:50,246 London. 1621 01:52:18,816 --> 01:52:19,775 Rio. 1622 01:52:35,833 --> 01:52:36,667 Get down! 1623 01:52:38,836 --> 01:52:39,670 You did it! 1624 01:52:49,263 --> 01:52:51,182 The glass is not gonna hold long. 1625 01:52:52,850 --> 01:52:54,477 You stay here. 1626 01:52:56,687 --> 01:52:57,855 Merlin, quickly, how do I get up there? 1627 01:52:58,189 --> 01:53:00,107 -Keep shooting, I'll find a route. -Understood. 1628 01:53:16,665 --> 01:53:17,750 Holy fuck! 1629 01:53:36,268 --> 01:53:37,561 We're back up. 1630 01:53:38,437 --> 01:53:39,730 We're back up! 1631 01:53:46,737 --> 01:53:48,447 This is great! 1632 01:53:56,580 --> 01:53:57,414 Eggsy! 1633 01:53:57,581 --> 01:53:59,124 Fucking get on with it! 1634 01:53:59,291 --> 01:54:00,501 Kick his ass, Gazy! 1635 01:54:07,132 --> 01:54:09,927 Seoul, Caracas, Mumbai! 1636 01:54:18,310 --> 01:54:20,771 Kill that motherfucker! He killed all our friends! 1637 01:54:38,163 --> 01:54:40,165 Eggsy, the world is going to shit! 1638 01:54:49,550 --> 01:54:51,635 -Is he dead yet? -Not yet! 1639 01:54:51,802 --> 01:54:53,888 Stop playing with your food! 1640 01:54:54,054 --> 01:54:55,055 Kill him! 1641 01:56:13,175 --> 01:56:14,551 Gazelle! 1642 01:56:16,387 --> 01:56:17,554 Gazelle! 1643 01:56:27,189 --> 01:56:28,899 Come on! Come on! 1644 01:56:31,902 --> 01:56:32,569 Kill him! 1645 01:56:50,212 --> 01:56:50,879 Hey! 1646 01:57:15,946 --> 01:57:17,448 Well done, son! 1647 01:57:18,782 --> 01:57:19,742 Yes! 1648 01:57:19,908 --> 01:57:21,076 Yes, Eggsy! 1649 01:57:21,243 --> 01:57:22,786 Well done, Eggsy! 1650 01:57:23,287 --> 01:57:24,455 And you, Lancelot. 1651 01:57:27,207 --> 01:57:29,793 I'm so sorry. Mummy would never hurt you. 1652 01:57:30,419 --> 01:57:33,464 Mummy would never hurt you. I'm so sorry. 1653 01:57:35,966 --> 01:57:36,967 Are you okay? 1654 01:57:40,763 --> 01:57:42,639 Harry would be proud of you, Eggsy. 1655 01:57:43,974 --> 01:57:45,059 He was right. 1656 01:58:00,491 --> 01:58:01,784 What's up, man? 1657 01:58:02,159 --> 01:58:05,496 Is this the part where you say some really bad pun? 1658 01:58:06,997 --> 01:58:08,999 Well, it's like you said to Harry. 1659 01:58:12,169 --> 01:58:14,505 This ain't that kind of movie, bruv. 1660 01:58:16,006 --> 01:58:17,424 Perfect. 1661 01:58:38,320 --> 01:58:39,488 Eggsy, where are you going? 1662 01:58:39,655 --> 01:58:41,782 There's no need for champagne. We got loads in the plane. 1663 01:58:49,039 --> 01:58:50,124 Did you save the world? 1664 01:58:50,707 --> 01:58:52,167 Yes, I did. 1665 01:58:53,502 --> 01:58:56,296 So, you gonna come in? 1666 01:58:57,047 --> 01:58:58,549 Yes, I am. 1667 01:59:04,012 --> 01:59:05,889 Merlin, the cell's locked. How do I get in? 1668 01:59:08,183 --> 01:59:09,726 26-25. 1669 01:59:14,064 --> 01:59:16,650 Merlin, you're the guvnor. 1670 01:59:18,861 --> 01:59:21,238 You owe me, Eggsy. 1671 01:59:26,869 --> 01:59:27,911 Eggsy? 1672 01:59:33,917 --> 01:59:35,586 Oh, my word. 1673 02:00:22,799 --> 02:00:25,636 Michelle, turn that shit off. It's doing my nut in. 1674 02:00:26,637 --> 02:00:28,138 I rather like that song. 1675 02:00:28,680 --> 02:00:30,265 Leave it on, eh, Mum? 1676 02:00:34,019 --> 02:00:35,938 Mugsy's back. 1677 02:00:36,063 --> 02:00:38,106 You've finally come to have that word with me, have you, son? 1678 02:00:38,857 --> 02:00:40,150 Or are you gonna run away again... 1679 02:00:40,317 --> 02:00:41,902 and pretend you're going to court, dressed like that? 1680 02:00:42,361 --> 02:00:43,737 Oh, you mean this? 1681 02:00:45,280 --> 02:00:46,573 No. 1682 02:00:47,199 --> 02:00:50,494 I know this bloke who's just taken over a tailor shop on Savile Row. 1683 02:00:51,578 --> 02:00:53,163 He's given me a job, Mum. 1684 02:00:53,872 --> 02:00:55,165 It comes with a lot of perks. 1685 02:00:56,541 --> 02:00:57,876 Including a house. 1686 02:00:59,044 --> 02:01:00,879 Come and live with me there, Mum. 1687 02:01:01,463 --> 02:01:02,547 Come on. 1688 02:01:02,714 --> 02:01:03,423 Sit down, you. 1689 02:01:04,841 --> 02:01:07,010 Only place she'll be visiting is you in fucking hospital. 1690 02:01:07,177 --> 02:01:08,971 -Do you hear? -Just leave him alone, Dean! 1691 02:01:09,137 --> 02:01:11,390 Eggsy, just go. Please, just go, babe. 1692 02:01:12,849 --> 02:01:14,142 All right. 1693 02:01:14,309 --> 02:01:15,852 That's it, do as Mummy says. 1694 02:01:16,019 --> 02:01:18,855 Why don't you ask that tailor friend of yours, and knock up a nice chicken costume. 1695 02:01:19,022 --> 02:01:20,399 It'll suit you, you mug. 1696 02:01:22,651 --> 02:01:25,445 As a good friend once said... 1697 02:01:26,738 --> 02:01:27,864 "Manners... 1698 02:01:29,783 --> 02:01:30,742 "maketh... 1699 02:01:33,328 --> 02:01:34,329 "man." 1700 02:01:35,205 --> 02:01:37,541 -Dean? -Shut the fuck up. 1701 02:01:37,708 --> 02:01:40,127 Eggsy, I'm gonna shove your manners up your fucking-- 1702 02:01:46,091 --> 02:01:46,967 So... 1703 02:01:47,342 --> 02:01:51,346 are we gonna stand around here all day, or are we gonna fight?