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00:01:13.82,00:01:16.74
 'Whenever I get gloomy[br]with the state of the world,

00:01:16.82,00:01:19.95
'I think about the arrivals gate[br]at Heathrow airport.

00:01:20.03,00:01:23.91
'General opinion makes out[br]that we live in a world of hatred and greed

00:01:24.00,00:01:25.71
'but I don't see that.

00:01:25.79,00:01:28.33
'Seems to me that love is everywhere.

00:01:28.42,00:01:32.96
'Often it's not particularly dignified[br]or newsworthy but it's always there.

00:01:33.05,00:01:36.68
'Fathers and sons, mothers and daughters,[br]husbands and wives,

00:01:36.76,00:01:39.68
'boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends.

00:01:39.76,00:01:41.93
'When the planes hit the Twin Towers,

00:01:42.01,00:01:46.73
'none of the phone calls from people on[br]board were messages of hate or revenge,

00:01:46.81,00:01:49.10
'they were all messages of love.

00:01:49.19,00:01:55.61
'lf you look for it, I've got a sneaky feeling[br]you'll find that love actually is all around.'

00:02:10.63,00:02:13.92
"I feel it in my fingers

00:02:14.00,00:02:17.17
"I feel it in my toes

00:02:17.26,00:02:21.80
"Feel it in my toes, yeah

00:02:21.89,00:02:26.43
"Love is all around me[br]And so the..."

00:02:26.52,00:02:29.39
- I'm afraid you did it again, Bill.

00:02:29.48,00:02:33.86
 It's just I know the old version[br]so well, you know.

00:02:33.94,00:02:36.19
Well, we all do.

00:02:36.28,00:02:38.65
That's why we're making the new version.

00:02:38.74,00:02:40.45
Right, OK, let's go.

00:02:43.53,00:02:47.29
"I feel it in my fingers[br]"In my fingers

00:02:47.37,00:02:50.50
"I feel it in my toes

00:02:50.58,00:02:55.00
"Feel it in my toes, yeah

00:02:55.09,00:02:57.63
"Love is all ar..."

00:02:57.71,00:03:01.55
Oh, fuck, wank, bugger,[br]shitting arsehead and hole.

00:03:03.55,00:03:05.68
Start again.

00:03:10.48,00:03:14.02
"I feel it in my fingers[br]"In my fingers

00:03:14.11,00:03:17.07
"I feel it in my toes

00:03:17.15,00:03:21.82
"Feel it in my toes, yeah

00:03:21.91,00:03:25.41
"Christmas is all around me[br]"All around me

00:03:25.49,00:03:28.66
"And so the feeling grows

00:03:28.75,00:03:33.21
"So the feeling grows

00:03:33.29,00:03:36.75
"It's written in the wind[br]"In the wind

00:03:36.84,00:03:39.51
"It's everywhere I go

00:03:39.55,00:03:44.26
"Everywhere I go

00:03:44.34,00:03:48.01
"So if you really love Christmas[br]"Love Christmas

00:03:48.10,00:03:50.68
"Come on and let it snow

00:03:50.77,00:03:52.77
"Come on and let it..."

00:03:52.85,00:03:55.11
This is shit, isn't it?

00:03:55.19,00:03:57.86
Yep, solid gold shit, maestro.

00:04:21.88,00:04:25.59
- God, I'm so late.[br]- It's just round the corner, you'll make it.

00:04:25.68,00:04:28.93
You sure you don't mind[br]me going without you?

00:04:29.01,00:04:31.39
No, really. I'm just feeling so rotten.

00:04:31.43,00:04:34.14
- I love you.[br]- I know.

00:04:34.23,00:04:38.31
I love you even when you're sick[br]and look disgusting.

00:04:38.40,00:04:41.90
I know. Now, go or you will actually miss it.

00:04:41.99,00:04:43.74
Right.

00:04:46.57,00:04:51.08
- Did I mention that I love you?[br]- Yes, you did. Get out, loser.

00:05:08.35,00:05:11.14
Karen, it's me again.

00:05:11.22,00:05:15.77
I'm sorry, I literally don't have[br]anybody else to talk to.

00:05:16.64,00:05:19.94
Absolutely. Horrible moment, though.[br]Can I call you back?

00:05:20.02,00:05:21.48
Of course.

00:05:21.57,00:05:25.49
Doesn't mean I'm not terribly concerned[br]that your wife just died.

00:05:25.57,00:05:27.74
Understood.

00:05:27.82,00:05:30.20
Er, bugger off, call me later.

00:05:33.95,00:05:35.62
So what's this big news?

00:05:35.71,00:05:38.38
We've been given our parts[br]in the nativity play

00:05:38.46,00:05:40.25
and I'm the lobster.

00:05:40.34,00:05:42.00
- The lobster?[br]- Yeah.

00:05:42.09,00:05:45.92
- In the nativity play?[br]- Yeah. First Lobster.

00:05:46.01,00:05:49.30
There was more than one lobster present[br]at the birth of Jesus?

00:05:49.39,00:05:51.39
Duh.

00:05:55.93,00:05:58.23
Best sandwiches in Britain.

00:05:59.48,00:06:01.73
Try my lovely nuts?

00:06:04.15,00:06:06.82
Beautiful muffin for a beautiful lady.

00:06:10.12,00:06:12.28
Morning, my future wife.

00:06:30.89,00:06:32.85
 OK, you can stop there. Thanks.

00:06:32.93,00:06:35.31
 I need a couple of orange gels.

00:06:35.39,00:06:38.81
By the way, he introduced me as John[br]but everyone calls me Jack.

00:06:38.89,00:06:41.94
Oh, fine. Nice to meet you, Jack.

00:06:42.02,00:06:44.15
He got me right, though. I'm just Judy.

00:06:44.23,00:06:46.74
Great, Just Judy!

00:06:51.78,00:06:54.53
- No surprises?[br]- No surprises.

00:06:54.62,00:06:58.12
- Not like the stag night?[br]- Unlike the stag night.

00:06:58.20,00:07:01.83
- You admit the prostitutes were a mistake?[br]- I do.

00:07:01.92,00:07:05.42
And it would've been much better[br]if they'd not turned out to be men?

00:07:05.50,00:07:07.55
That is true.

00:07:09.92,00:07:12.05
Good luck, kiddo.

00:07:35.20,00:07:38.04
 Prime Minister, over here!

00:07:49.42,00:07:51.47
Thank you.

00:07:53.01,00:07:57.39
- Welcome, Prime Minister.[br]- Woh! I must work on my wave.

00:07:57.47,00:07:59.43
How are you?

00:07:59.52,00:08:01.69
- How are you feeling?[br]- Erm...

00:08:01.77,00:08:03.94
Cool. Powerful.

00:08:04.02,00:08:06.69
Would you like to meet[br]your household staff?

00:08:06.77,00:08:09.44
Yes, I would like that very much indeed.

00:08:09.53,00:08:12.99
Anything to put off[br]actually running the country.

00:08:14.24,00:08:17.20
- This is Terence. He's in charge.[br]- Morning, sir.

00:08:17.28,00:08:19.95
Good morning.[br]I had an uncle called Terence.

00:08:20.04,00:08:24.29
Hated him, I think he was a pervert.[br]But I very much like the look of you.

00:08:24.37,00:08:26.50
- This is Pat.[br]- Hello, Pat.

00:08:26.58,00:08:29.09
Good morning, sir. I'm the housekeeper.

00:08:29.17,00:08:31.76
Oh, right. I should be easier than the last lot.

00:08:31.84,00:08:34.68
No nappies, no teenagers, no scary wife.

00:08:34.76,00:08:37.60
And this is Natalie. She's new, like you.

00:08:37.68,00:08:41.39
- Hello, Natalie.[br]- Hello, David. I mean, sir.

00:08:41.47,00:08:43.77
Shit, I can't believe I've just said that.

00:08:43.85,00:08:47.56
And now I've gone and said "shit".[br]Twice. I'm so sorry, sir.

00:08:47.65,00:08:51.03
You could've said "fuck"[br]and we'd have been in real trouble.

00:08:51.11,00:08:54.90
Thank you, sir. I had a premonition[br]I was gonna fuck up on my first day.

00:08:56.78,00:08:59.58
Oh, piss it!

00:08:59.66,00:09:04.41
Right, I'll get my things[br]and then let's fix the country, shall we?

00:09:04.50,00:09:06.37
Yeah, I can't see why not.

00:09:19.39,00:09:22.02
- It's all right.[br]- Did you see what I did?

00:09:22.10,00:09:24.14
- Yes, I did.[br]- I just went "blurh".

00:09:24.23,00:09:26.52
- Hello there.[br]- I'm right over here.

00:09:26.60,00:09:29.94
Yeah, I'm in here. OK. Good. Thank you.

00:09:30.02,00:09:31.94
Ah.

00:09:36.15,00:09:38.41
Oh, no.

00:09:38.49,00:09:40.66
That is so inconvenient.

00:09:44.12,00:09:45.54
In the presence of God,[br]Peter and Juliet have given their consent

00:09:47.71,00:09:50.25
and made their marriage vows[br]to each other.

00:09:50.29,00:09:53.42
They've declared their marriage[br]by the giving of rings.

00:09:53.51,00:09:57.55
I therefore proclaim[br]that they are husband and wife.

00:10:03.39,00:10:06.35
And you resisted[br]the temptation for surprises.

00:10:06.39,00:10:08.56
Yeah, I'm mature now.

00:10:18.24,00:10:21.28
 " Love, love, love

00:10:22.91,00:10:26.33
"Love, love, love

00:10:27.58,00:10:29.83
- "Love, love, love..."[br]- Did you do this?

00:10:29.92,00:10:32.92
Er, no.

00:10:33.00,00:10:37.22
"Love, love, love, love

00:10:39.88,00:10:42.22
"There's nothing you can do[br]that can't be done"

00:10:42.30,00:10:44.35
Oh, it...

00:10:44.39,00:10:47.18
"There's nothing you can sing[br]that can't be sung

00:10:48.10,00:10:52.31
"There's nothing you can say[br]but you can learn how to play the game

00:10:52.40,00:10:55.90
"It's easy

00:10:57.19,00:10:59.57
"All you need is love

00:11:01.91,00:11:04.45
"All you need is love

00:11:07.00,00:11:11.12
"All you need is love, love

00:11:12.08,00:11:14.50
"Love is all you need..."

00:11:16.71,00:11:19.13
Look, it's Pikey.

00:11:30.14,00:11:32.98
Hello! What the hell are you doing here?

00:11:33.06,00:11:35.94
Oh, I just popped over[br]to borrow some old CDs.

00:11:36.02,00:11:38.94
- The lady of the house let you in, did she?[br]- Yeah.

00:11:39.03,00:11:42.41
- Lovely, obliging girl.[br]- Yeah.

00:11:42.49,00:11:45.78
I thought I'd pop back and see[br]if she's better. This is good.

00:11:45.87,00:11:50.21
- Oh.[br]- Listen, erm, I've been thinking.

00:11:50.29,00:11:54.71
I think we ought to take Mum out for[br]her birthday on Friday. What do you think?

00:11:54.79,00:11:59.42
- I just feel we've been bad sons this year.[br]- Sounds fine. A bit boring but fine.

00:11:59.51,00:12:01.47
 Hurry up, big boy!

00:12:01.55,00:12:05.64
I'm naked and I want you at least twice[br]before Jamie gets home.

00:12:16.15,00:12:18.32
 I am so happy to see you!

00:12:19.73,00:12:22.49
- Delicious delicacy?[br]- Er, no, thanks.

00:12:28.08,00:12:30.33
Taste explosion?

00:12:42.42,00:12:44.51
- Food?[br]- No, thanks.

00:12:44.59,00:12:46.64
Yeah, a bit dodgy, isn't it?

00:12:46.72,00:12:50.35
Looks like a dead baby's finger. Oooh.

00:12:50.43,00:12:52.85
Oh. Tastes like it, too.

00:12:56.52,00:12:58.65
I'm Colin, by the way.

00:12:58.73,00:13:01.23
- I'm Nancy.[br]- Wicked.

00:13:01.32,00:13:03.74
- What do you do, Nancy?[br]- I'm a cook.

00:13:03.82,00:13:05.74
- Ever do weddings?[br]- Yes, I do.

00:13:05.82,00:13:09.66
- They should've asked you to do this one.[br]- They did.

00:13:09.74,00:13:13.25
- God, I wish you hadn't have turned it down.[br]- I didn't.

00:13:13.33,00:13:15.54
 Right.

00:13:18.13,00:13:21.55
- I've worked out why I can't find true love.[br]- Why is that?

00:13:21.63,00:13:24.09
English girls. They're stuck up, you see.

00:13:24.17,00:13:28.93
And I am primarily attractive to girls[br]who are cooler, game for a laugh.

00:13:29.01,00:13:33.27
Like American girls.[br]So I should just go to America!

00:13:33.35,00:13:36.44
I'd get a girlfriend there instantly.[br]What do you think?

00:13:36.52,00:13:38.77
I think it's crap, Colin.

00:13:38.86,00:13:40.65
That's where you're wrong.

00:13:40.73,00:13:43.74
American girls would dig me[br]with my cute British accent.

00:13:43.82,00:13:47.95
- You don't have a cute British accent.[br]- Yes, I do! I'm going to America.

00:13:48.03,00:13:51.49
Colin, you're a Ionely, ugly arsehole.[br]Accept it.

00:13:51.58,00:13:56.54
Never. I am Colin, God of Sex.[br]I'm just on the wrong continent, that's all.

00:13:56.62,00:13:59.42
Bit of quiet[br]while we finish the lighting, guys!

00:14:00.79,00:14:04.17
- The traffic today was just...[br]- Unbelievable.

00:14:04.26,00:14:06.68
Judy, could you take the top off this time?

00:14:06.76,00:14:10.97
Lighting need to know when we're gonna[br]see the, erm, nipples and when we're not.

00:14:11.05,00:14:14.64
Yes, OK. Right.[br]At least it's nice and warm in here.

00:14:14.72,00:14:16.14
Not always the case, is it?

00:14:16.23,00:14:19.98
I was standing in for Brad Pitt once[br]on Seven Years In Tibet...

00:14:20.06,00:14:22.27
- Yes, yeah.[br]- Bloody freezing...

00:14:22.36,00:14:25.36
Guys, time's tight[br]and we have to get the actors in.

00:14:25.44,00:14:27.57
- Fine.[br]- I promise I won't look.

00:14:30.37,00:14:34.49
 Right, let's have[br]another look at that, please.

00:14:45.51,00:14:47.92
Can you just put your hands on her breasts?

00:14:48.01,00:14:50.30
- OK, yeah. Is that all right?[br]- Yes.

00:14:50.39,00:14:52.18
I'll warm them up!

00:14:54.97,00:14:57.85
- And massage them, please.[br]- Right.

00:15:03.31,00:15:08.36
It's junction 13 that's just murder, isn't it?[br]Total gridlock this morning.

00:15:12.45,00:15:17.33
Jo and I had a lot of time[br]to prepare for this moment.

00:15:17.41,00:15:19.79
Some of her requests,

00:15:19.87,00:15:25.59
for instance, that I should bring[br]Claudia Schiffer as my date to the funeral,

00:15:25.67,00:15:29.51
I was confident she expected me to ignore.

00:15:29.59,00:15:32.72
But others she was pretty damn clear about.

00:15:34.10,00:15:37.31
When she first mentioned[br]what's about to happen,

00:15:38.43,00:15:41.02
I said, "Over my dead body."

00:15:41.10,00:15:44.23
And she said, "No, Daniel, over mine."

00:15:44.31,00:15:47.44
And as usual, my darling girl...

00:15:49.19,00:15:51.49
and Sam's darling mum was right.

00:15:52.95,00:15:57.83
So she's going to say her final farewell[br]to you not through me but,

00:15:57.91,00:15:59.95
inevitably,

00:16:01.25,00:16:03.29
ever so coolly,

00:16:04.38,00:16:07.96
through the immortal genius[br]of the Bay City Rollers.

00:16:08.59,00:16:12.34
"Bye bye baby, baby goodbye

00:16:12.43,00:16:16.68
"Goodbye baby, baby bye bye

00:16:16.76,00:16:18.60
"Bye bye baby

00:16:18.68,00:16:23.81
"Don't make me cry[br]"Goodbye baby, baby bye bye

00:16:23.90,00:16:27.82
"You're the one girl in town I'd marry

00:16:27.90,00:16:33.24
"Girl I'd marry you now if I were free

00:16:33.28,00:16:38.37
"I wish it could be

00:16:38.45,00:16:42.37
"I could love you but why begin it?

00:16:42.46,00:16:45.50
"Cos there ain't any future in it

00:16:45.58,00:16:49.13
"She's got me but I'm not free so..."

00:16:50.17,00:16:52.92
"Bye bye baby, baby goodbye

00:16:53.01,00:16:57.68
"Goodbye baby, baby bye bye

00:16:57.76,00:17:00.56
"Bye bye baby, don't make me cry

00:17:00.64,00:17:04.64
"Goodbye baby, baby bye bye

00:17:04.73,00:17:06.52
"Wish I never had known you..."

00:17:06.60,00:17:09.15
Do you love him?

00:17:09.23,00:17:11.28
Er, er, what?

00:17:11.36,00:17:15.11
No, l-I just thought I'd ask bluntly[br]in case it was the right question

00:17:15.20,00:17:20.08
and you needed someone to talk to about it[br]and no one had ever asked you.

00:17:20.16,00:17:24.96
No. No. No is the answer. Absolutely not.

00:17:25.04,00:17:27.00
"...on my finger..."

00:17:27.08,00:17:28.96
So that's a no, then?

00:17:29.04,00:17:31.17
Yes. Erm...

00:17:31.25,00:17:33.72
"Bye bye baby, baby goodbye

00:17:33.80,00:17:35.84
"Goodbye baby, baby bye bye..."

00:17:35.93,00:17:38.80
This DJ, what do you reckon?

00:17:38.89,00:17:41.77
- The worst in history?[br]- Probably.

00:17:41.85,00:17:44.27
I think it all hangs on the next song.

00:17:44.35,00:17:46.35
Now here's one for the lovers.

00:17:46.44,00:17:50.44
That's quite a few of you,[br]I shouldn't be surprised and a half.

00:17:54.24,00:17:56.53
"And they called it..."

00:17:56.61,00:18:01.74
- He's done it, it's official.[br]- Worst DJ in the world.

00:18:01.83,00:18:05.96
"Oh, I guess they'll never know..."

00:18:09.33,00:18:11.17
Sarah's waiting for you.

00:18:12.30,00:18:14.80
Oh, yes, of course, erm...

00:18:15.55,00:18:17.84
Great, er, good, good.

00:18:17.93,00:18:22.10
How are you doing, Mia?[br]Settling in fine? Learning who to avoid?

00:18:22.18,00:18:23.89
Absolutely.

00:18:26.23,00:18:28.02
- Harry?[br]- Sarah,

00:18:28.10,00:18:35.19
switch off your phone and tell me exactly[br]how long it is that you've been working here.

00:18:37.95,00:18:40.91
Two years, seven months,

00:18:40.95,00:18:43.66
three days and, I suppose, what, two hours?

00:18:43.74,00:18:48.75
And how long have you been in love[br]with Karl, our enigmatic chief designer?

00:18:49.83,00:18:51.88
Um...

00:18:54.84,00:18:59.80
Two years, seven months, three days[br]and, I suppose, an hour and 30 minutes.

00:18:59.84,00:19:01.55
Thought as much.

00:19:01.64,00:19:03.68
- Do you think everybody knows?[br]- Yes.

00:19:03.76,00:19:06.02
- Do you think Karl knows?[br]- Yes.

00:19:07.14,00:19:10.10
Oh, that is... that is bad news.

00:19:10.15,00:19:15.61
I just thought that maybe the time[br]had come to do something about it.

00:19:16.65,00:19:19.15
- Like what?[br]- Invite him out for a drink

00:19:19.24,00:19:24.08
then casually mention you'd like to marry[br]him and have lots of sex and babies.

00:19:24.16,00:19:26.49
- You know that?[br]- Yes.

00:19:27.75,00:19:30.00
And so does Karl.

00:19:30.08,00:19:32.54
Think about it, for all our sakes.

00:19:32.63,00:19:35.17
It's Christmas.

00:19:36.59,00:19:40.13
Certainly. Excellent. Will do.

00:19:40.22,00:19:42.39
Thanks, boss.

00:19:44.01,00:19:46.26
- Hi, Sarah.[br]- Hi, Karl.

00:19:56.94,00:20:00.15
Babe. Absolutely, fire away.

00:20:01.32,00:20:03.49
Mia, Mia, would you turn that down?

00:20:05.62,00:20:07.33
What is that?

00:20:07.41,00:20:11.00
That was the Christmas effort[br]from the once great Billy Mack.

00:20:11.08,00:20:14.00
Oh, dear me, how are the mighty fallen.

00:20:14.08,00:20:19.71
I can safely say that is the worst record[br]I've heard this century...

00:20:19.80,00:20:23.93
Oh, and coincidentally,[br]I believe Billy will be a guest

00:20:24.01,00:20:26.72
on my friend Mike's show[br]in a few minutes' time.

00:20:27.43,00:20:29.97
Welcome back, Bill.

00:20:30.06,00:20:32.10
Billy, welcome back to the airwaves.

00:20:32.19,00:20:35.36
New Christmas single,[br]cover of Love Is All Around.

00:20:35.44,00:20:40.78
Except we've changed[br]the word "love" to "Christmas".

00:20:40.82,00:20:43.99
Yes, is that an important message[br]to you, Bill?

00:20:44.07,00:20:46.53
 Not really, Mike.

00:20:46.62,00:20:50.91
Christmas is a time for people[br]with someone they love in their lives.

00:20:51.00,00:20:53.46
- And that's not you?[br]- That's not me, Michael.

00:20:53.50,00:20:57.50
When I was young and successful,[br]I was greedy and foolish

00:20:57.54,00:21:01.72
and now I'm left with no one,[br]wrinkled and alone.

00:21:01.80,00:21:04.51
- Wow. Thanks for that, Bill.[br]- For what?

00:21:04.59,00:21:07.43
For actually giving[br]a real answer to a question.

00:21:07.51,00:21:11.22
It doesn't often happen here[br]at Radio Watford, I can tell you.

00:21:11.31,00:21:15.06
- Ask me anything, I'll tell you the truth.[br]- Best shag you ever had?

00:21:15.15,00:21:17.86
- Britney Spears.[br]- Wow.

00:21:17.94,00:21:20.19
No, only kidding!

00:21:20.28,00:21:22.65
- She was rubbish.[br]- OK, here's one.

00:21:22.69,00:21:27.32
How do you think the new record[br]compares to your old, classic stuff?

00:21:27.41,00:21:30.91
Come on, Mikey, you know as well as I do[br]the record's crap.

00:21:32.75,00:21:36.17
But wouldn't it be great[br]if number one this Christmas

00:21:36.25,00:21:38.54
wasn't some smug teenager

00:21:38.59,00:21:42.92
but an old ex-heroin addict[br]searching for a comeback at any price?

00:21:43.01,00:21:46.51
Those young popsters come Christmas[br]will be stretched out naked

00:21:46.55,00:21:49.26
with a cute bird balancing on their balls

00:21:49.35,00:21:52.93
and I'll be stuck in some dingy flat[br]with me manager Joe,

00:21:53.02,00:21:55.10
ugliest man in the world,

00:21:55.14,00:21:59.61
fucking miserable because[br]our fucking gamble didn't pay off.

00:21:59.69,00:22:04.94
So if you believe in Father Christmas,[br]children, like your Uncle Billy does,

00:22:05.03,00:22:08.78
buy my festering turd of a record.

00:22:08.82,00:22:11.87
And particularly enjoy[br]the incredible crassness

00:22:11.95,00:22:16.37
of the moment we try to squeeze[br]an extra syllable into the fourth line.

00:22:16.46,00:22:18.71
I think you're referring to

00:22:18.79,00:22:21.09
"If you really love Christmas..."

00:22:21.17,00:22:24.38
"Come on and let it snow." Ouch.

00:22:24.46,00:22:26.51
So, here it is one more time,

00:22:26.55,00:22:29.89
the dark horse for this year's[br]Christmas number one,

00:22:29.97,00:22:34.43
Christmas Is All Around.[br]Thank you, Billy. After this, the news.

00:22:34.52,00:22:37.02
Is the new prime minister in trouble already?

00:22:38.19,00:22:42.19
"I feel it in my fingers[br]I feel it in my toes"

00:22:43.19,00:22:45.86
- OK. What's next?[br]- The President's visit.

00:22:45.90,00:22:49.99
Ah, yes, yes. I fear this is going to be[br]a difficult one to play. Alex.

00:22:51.12,00:22:55.41
There's a strong feeling in the party[br]we mustn't allow ourselves to be bullied

00:22:55.50,00:22:58.00
- like the last government.[br]- Here, here.

00:22:58.08,00:23:02.17
This is our first really important test,[br]let's take a stand.

00:23:02.25,00:23:06.92
Right. Right. I understand that[br]but I have decided...

00:23:08.51,00:23:10.55
not to. Not this time.

00:23:10.64,00:23:15.14
Let's not forget that America[br]is the most powerful country in the world.

00:23:15.22,00:23:17.73
I'm not going to act like a petulant child.

00:23:19.81,00:23:23.57
Who do you have to screw round here[br]to get a cup of tea and a biscuit?

00:23:30.57,00:23:32.32
Right.

00:23:34.20,00:23:36.33
Yeah, come in.

00:23:40.58,00:23:43.25
- These are from the Treasury...[br]- Uh-huh.

00:23:43.29,00:23:46.38
...and these are for you.

00:23:46.46,00:23:48.21
Excellent. Thanks a lot.

00:23:48.30,00:23:52.47
I was hoping you'd win, not that[br]I wouldn't have been nice to the other bloke,

00:23:52.55,00:23:56.43
just always given him the boring biscuits[br]with no chocolate.

00:23:56.51,00:23:58.39
Thanks very much. Thanks...

00:24:00.06,00:24:02.19
Natalie.

00:24:06.69,00:24:11.49
God, come on, get a grip.[br]You're the Prime Minister, for God's sake.

00:24:13.57,00:24:16.08
So what do you reckon[br]to our new prime minister?

00:24:16.16,00:24:20.71
Oh, I like him. I can't understand[br]why he's not married, though.

00:24:20.79,00:24:23.92
You know the type, he's married to his job.

00:24:24.00,00:24:27.21
Either that or gay as a picnic basket.

00:24:27.30,00:24:30.55
Excuse me, Judy, if you could[br]just lower the nipples

00:24:30.63,00:24:33.09
- and cheat them a bit to the left?[br]- OK.

00:24:36.39,00:24:38.97
I have to say, Judy, this is a real pleasure,

00:24:39.06,00:24:42.73
it's lovely to find someone[br]I can actually chat to.

00:24:42.81,00:24:44.85
- Thank you![br]- Oh, well, you know.

00:24:44.94,00:24:46.65
- And ditto.[br]- Thank you.

00:24:46.73,00:24:49.07
The move again, please, Judy.

00:24:49.15,00:24:51.65
- Ooh, sorry.[br]- Oh, God, sorry. You all right?

00:24:54.78,00:24:57.83
- Exciting news![br]- What?

00:24:57.91,00:25:01.20
I've bought a ticket to the States.[br]I'm off in three weeks.

00:25:01.29,00:25:02.71
- No.[br]- Yes!

00:25:02.79,00:25:06.92
- To a fantastic place called Wisconsin.[br]- No!

00:25:07.00,00:25:10.63
Yes! Wisconsin babes,[br]here comes Sir Colin!

00:25:10.71,00:25:14.88
No, Col! There are a few babes in America,[br]I grant you,

00:25:14.97,00:25:17.72
but they're going out[br]with rich, attractive guys.

00:25:17.80,00:25:21.02
Tone, you're just jealous.

00:25:21.10,00:25:24.98
You know perfectly well[br]that any bar anywhere in America

00:25:25.06,00:25:29.44
contains ten girls more beautiful[br]and more likely to have sex with me

00:25:29.52,00:25:34.15
- than the whole of the United Kingdom.[br]- That is total bollocks. You're mad.

00:25:34.24,00:25:39.16
No, I'm wise. Stateside I am Prince William[br]without the weird family.

00:25:39.24,00:25:41.49
- No, Colin, no![br]- Yes!

00:25:41.58,00:25:42.75
- Nyet![br]- Da!

00:25:42.83,00:25:44.16
- Nein![br]- Ja, darling!

00:25:44.25,00:25:47.96
Right, the Christmas party,[br]not my favourite night of the year

00:25:48.04,00:25:50.38
and your unhappy job to organise.

00:25:50.46,00:25:53.42
- Tell me.[br]- It's basic, really.

00:25:53.51,00:25:57.30
Find a venue, over-order on the drinks,[br]bulk buy the guacamole

00:25:57.39,00:26:01.39
and advise the girls to avoid Kevin[br]if they want their breasts unfondled.

00:26:01.47,00:26:05.94
- Wives and family and stuff?[br]- Yeah. I mean, not children.

00:26:06.02,00:26:09.61
But their wives and girlfriends, et cetera.

00:26:09.69,00:26:15.40
Oh, Christ, you haven't got some horrible[br]six-foot, tight-T-shirt-wearing boyfriend?

00:26:15.49,00:26:20.24
No. I'll just be hanging around the mistletoe,[br]hoping to be kissed.

00:26:21.62,00:26:24.33
Really?

00:26:24.41,00:26:26.46
Right.

00:26:35.84,00:26:39.68
He now spends all the time in his room.[br]I mean, he'll be up there now.

00:26:39.76,00:26:43.43
- That's not unusual. My horrid son...[br]- Bernard?

00:26:43.52,00:26:48.02
Bernard. Stays in his room all the time.[br]Thank goodness.

00:26:48.10,00:26:50.90
Yeah, but Karen, this is all the time.

00:26:52.40,00:26:56.53
I'm afraid that there's something[br]really wrong, you know?

00:26:56.61,00:26:58.66
I mean, clearly it's about his mum

00:26:58.74,00:27:03.87
but Christ, he might be injecting heroin[br]into his eyeballs for all I know.

00:27:03.95,00:27:05.70
 At the age of 11?

00:27:05.79,00:27:10.00
 Well, maybe not his eyeballs, then.[br]Maybe just his veins.

00:27:10.08,00:27:14.42
The problem is his mum[br]always used to talk to him, you know, and...

00:27:16.17,00:27:21.51
I don't know, this whole stepfather thing[br]seems suddenly to somehow matter

00:27:21.55,00:27:23.81
like it never did before.

00:27:23.89,00:27:28.69
Listen, it was always going to be[br]a totally shit time.

00:27:28.77,00:27:31.31
Just be patient.

00:27:31.40,00:27:33.73
And maybe check the room for needles.

00:27:33.82,00:27:38.78
And then when he sometimes does[br]come out, it's obvious he's been crying.

00:27:48.00,00:27:51.50
It's just such a ridiculous waste.

00:27:51.58,00:27:54.79
And now if it's going to ruin[br]Sam's life as well...

00:27:56.13,00:27:58.97
I just don't know.

00:27:59.05,00:28:01.72
Get a grip.

00:28:01.80,00:28:03.97
People hate sissies.

00:28:04.05,00:28:07.31
No one's ever gonna shag you[br]if you cry all the time.

00:28:07.39,00:28:10.31
Yeah. Absolutely.

00:28:10.39,00:28:12.44
Helpful.

00:28:20.15,00:28:23.99
So, what's the problem, Samuel?

00:28:25.91,00:28:30.71
Is it just Mum or is it something else, huh?

00:28:32.12,00:28:34.25
Maybe school?

00:28:35.46,00:28:37.38
Are you being bullied?

00:28:38.51,00:28:40.67
Or is it something worse?

00:28:42.51,00:28:44.80
Can you give me any clues at all?

00:28:46.39,00:28:49.60
- You really want to know?[br]- I really want to know.

00:28:49.68,00:28:52.23
Even though you won't be able to help?

00:28:52.31,00:28:54.90
Even if that's the case, yeah.

00:28:56.94,00:28:59.36
OK. Well...

00:29:00.57,00:29:03.32
truth is, actually...

00:29:04.41,00:29:06.28
I'm in love.

00:29:06.37,00:29:07.95
Sorry?

00:29:08.03,00:29:12.58
I know I should be thinking[br]about Mum and I am but I'm in love.

00:29:12.66,00:29:16.92
I was before she died[br]and there's nothing I can do about it.

00:29:17.00,00:29:21.05
- Aren't you a bit young to be in love?[br]- No.

00:29:21.13,00:29:24.13
Ah, well. OK, well...

00:29:26.01,00:29:28.51
I'm a little relieved.

00:29:29.64,00:29:31.77
- Why?[br]- Because I...

00:29:31.85,00:29:33.98
thought it'd be something worse.

00:29:34.06,00:29:37.06
Worse than the total agony of being in love?

00:29:37.15,00:29:39.82
Er...

00:29:39.86,00:29:42.53
No, you're right.

00:29:42.61,00:29:44.74
Total agony.

00:30:21.82,00:30:23.99
- Night, Sarah.[br]- Night, Karl.

00:30:33.91,00:30:35.96
Yeah, absolutely.

00:30:37.08,00:30:39.29
Free as a bird. Fire away.

00:31:10.82,00:31:12.95
Alone again.

00:31:14.24,00:31:15.91
Naturally.

00:31:16.00,00:31:18.12
- I'll deal with it.[br]- Mm.

00:31:19.25,00:31:22.79
- Ah. Natalie.[br]- Sir.

00:31:24.80,00:31:26.38
Thanks.

00:31:26.46,00:31:28.51
Natalie.

00:31:30.84,00:31:33.56
Erm, I'm starting to feel...

00:31:34.76,00:31:38.48
uncomfortable about us[br]working so closely every day

00:31:38.56,00:31:43.11
and me knowing so little about you,[br]it seems elitist and wrong.

00:31:44.23,00:31:46.03
Well, there's not much to know.

00:31:46.11,00:31:49.61
Well, erm, where do you live, for instance?

00:31:49.70,00:31:51.87
Wandsworth. The dodgy end.

00:31:51.95,00:31:55.29
- Ah, my sister lives in Wandsworth.[br]- Oh.

00:31:56.58,00:31:59.12
So which exactly is the dodgy end?

00:31:59.21,00:32:02.79
At the end of the high street,[br]Harris Street, near the Queen's Head.

00:32:02.88,00:32:05.71
- Oh, yeah, yeah, that is dodgy.[br]- Hm.

00:32:05.80,00:32:10.05
Erm, and you live[br]with your husband? Boyfriend?

00:32:11.34,00:32:14.30
- Three illegitimate but charming children?[br]- No.

00:32:14.39,00:32:19.02
I've just split up with my boyfriend, so[br]I'm back with my mum and dad for a while.

00:32:19.10,00:32:23.40
- Ah. Sorry.[br]- No, it's fine.

00:32:23.48,00:32:25.90
I'm well shot of him.

00:32:25.98,00:32:28.78
- He said I was getting fat.[br]- I beg your pardon?

00:32:28.86,00:32:32.78
He said no one'd fancy a girl[br]with thighs the size of tree trunks.

00:32:32.86,00:32:35.45
Not a nice guy, actually, in the end.

00:32:36.83,00:32:38.87
No.

00:32:45.92,00:32:48.09
You know, erm...

00:32:48.76,00:32:52.05
being Prime Minister,[br]I could just have him murdered.

00:32:53.18,00:32:55.64
Thank you, sir. I'll think about it.

00:32:55.72,00:32:59.64
Do. The SAS are absolutely charming.

00:32:59.72,00:33:03.69
Ruthless, trained killers[br]are just a phone call away.

00:33:09.40,00:33:11.44
Oh, God.

00:33:14.11,00:33:16.45
Did you have this kind of problem?

00:33:18.91,00:33:21.50
Yeah, course you did, you saucy minx.

00:33:21.58,00:33:25.00
So, let's go. We can definitely crack this.

00:33:25.08,00:33:27.29
Remember, I was a kid once, too.

00:33:27.38,00:33:31.76
So, come on, it's someone at school. Right?

00:33:31.84,00:33:33.72
- Yeah.[br]- Uh-huh. Good, good.

00:33:33.80,00:33:36.89
And what does she, he, feel about you?

00:33:36.97,00:33:39.89
SHE doesn't even know my name.

00:33:39.97,00:33:42.77
And even if she did, she'd despise me.

00:33:42.85,00:33:45.19
She's the coolest girl in school.

00:33:45.27,00:33:49.36
And everyone worships her[br]because she's heaven.

00:33:49.44,00:33:51.94
Good. Good.

00:33:53.24,00:33:55.36
Well,

00:33:55.45,00:33:58.12
basically you're fucked, aren't you?

00:34:04.37,00:34:06.83
Hi there and welcome back.

00:34:06.92,00:34:11.21
So, three weeks till Christmas, looks like[br]the real competition is gonna be Blue.

00:34:11.30,00:34:15.80
I saw them on the show last week.[br]They weren't very nice about my record.

00:34:15.88,00:34:18.26
No. Little scamps.

00:34:18.35,00:34:21.77
But very, very talented musicians.

00:34:21.85,00:34:26.10
Yeah. I understand you've got a prize[br]for our competition winners.

00:34:26.19,00:34:27.65
Yes, I have, Ant or Dec.

00:34:27.73,00:34:31.73
It's a personalised felt-tip pen.

00:34:31.82,00:34:33.44
Oh, great.

00:34:33.53,00:34:37.28
It's brilliant. It even writes on glass,

00:34:37.36,00:34:42.12
so if you've got a framed picture,[br]like, for instance, this one of Blue,

00:34:42.20,00:34:44.25
you can just write on it.

00:34:58.01,00:35:01.89
 Er, a lot of kids watching, Billy.[br] Oh, yeah.

00:35:01.97,00:35:04.81
Hiya, kids.

00:35:04.89,00:35:08.27
Here's an important message[br]from your Uncle Bill -

00:35:08.35,00:35:10.48
don't buy drugs.

00:35:12.48,00:35:15.53
Become a pop star[br]and they give you them for free.

00:35:15.61,00:35:20.41
And I do believe it's a commercial break.[br]We'll see you soon. Bye-bye.

00:35:20.49,00:35:25.29
"All I want for Christmas is you"

00:35:32.54,00:35:36.67
- Look at him! Eurh![br]- Just a minute.

00:35:36.76,00:35:39.30
Actually, they're not funny. They're art.

00:35:43.85,00:35:46.56
OK, let's say, er, Thursday, my place.

00:35:46.64,00:35:50.98
Great. I've got Juliet on the other line,[br]she wants to ask you a favour.

00:35:51.06,00:35:56.03
- OK, fine.[br]- Thanks and, er, be nice.

00:35:56.11,00:36:01.20
- I'm always nice.[br]- 'You know what I mean, Marky, be friendly.'

00:36:01.28,00:36:03.62
- I'm always...[br]- 'Mark? '

00:36:03.70,00:36:06.62
Hi. How was the honeymoon?

00:36:06.70,00:36:09.46
It was great.[br]Thanks for the gorgeous sendoff.

00:36:09.54,00:36:13.13
- So, what can I do for you?[br]- 'It's only a tiny favour.'

00:36:13.21,00:36:16.17
I've just tried the wedding video[br]and it's a disaster.

00:36:16.25,00:36:19.30
- 'It's come out all blue and wibbly.'[br]- I'm sorry.

00:36:19.38,00:36:23.05
I remember you filming a lot[br]and I wondered if I could look at it.

00:36:23.14,00:36:25.22
To be honest, I didn't really...

00:36:25.31,00:36:29.98
Please. All I want is one shot of me[br]in a wedding dress that isn't turquoise.

00:36:30.06,00:36:34.98
I'll have a look but I'm pretty sure I wiped it,[br]so don't get any hopes up.

00:36:35.02,00:36:37.90
- 'Must go.'

00:36:42.57,00:36:45.37
Any progress with our matchmaking plans?

00:36:45.45,00:36:49.37
No. I've done fuck-all and never will[br]because he's too good for me.

00:36:49.45,00:36:51.50
How true.

00:36:52.96,00:36:55.00
- Stop.

00:36:55.09,00:36:57.30
And of course, your mobile goes.

00:36:58.34,00:37:01.01
Hello. Hi. How you doing?

00:37:02.09,00:37:04.97
- So, how's the Christmas party going?[br]- Good.

00:37:05.05,00:37:07.22
Think I've found a venue.

00:37:07.31,00:37:10.68
- What's it like?[br]- Good. Good.

00:37:10.73,00:37:15.86
It's an art gallery. Full of dark corners[br]for doing dark deeds.

00:37:17.73,00:37:21.07
Oh. Right.

00:37:21.15,00:37:25.32
Good. Well, I suppose I should[br]take a look at it or something.

00:37:25.41,00:37:27.49
You should.

00:37:46.59,00:37:48.14
Ah, bonjour, Eleonore.

00:37:48.22,00:37:51.06
Bonjour, Monsieur Bennett. Welcome back.

00:37:51.14,00:37:53.23
And this year you bring a lady guest?

00:37:53.31,00:37:56.52
No. There's a change of situation. Just me.

00:37:56.60,00:38:01.03
- Oh. Am I sad or not sad?[br]- I think you're not surprised.

00:38:01.11,00:38:03.82
- And you stay here till Christmas?[br]- Yeah, yeah.

00:38:03.90,00:38:09.12
Good. Well, I find you[br]a perfect lady to clean the house.

00:38:09.20,00:38:11.75
This is Aurelia.

00:38:11.83,00:38:13.75
Ah.

00:38:13.79,00:38:17.88
- Er, bonjour, Aurelia.[br]- Bonjour.

00:38:17.96,00:38:23.09
 Er, je suis, er, tres heureux[br]de vous avoir ici.

00:38:23.88,00:38:28.22
Unfortunately, she cannot speak French,[br]just like you.

00:38:28.30,00:38:30.22
She's Portuguese.

00:38:30.31,00:38:32.89
 Ah, ah, buongiorno.

00:38:32.97,00:38:34.89
Eusebio, er, er...

00:38:34.93,00:38:37.35
 Er, molto bueno...

00:38:38.65,00:38:43.65
I think she's ten years too young[br]to remember a footballer called Eusebio.

00:38:43.74,00:38:46.11
And "molto bueno" is Spanish.

00:38:46.20,00:38:47.70
Right.

00:38:47.78,00:38:50.53
Anyway, it's nice to meet you and...

00:38:51.08,00:38:53.33
Can you drive her home after her work?

00:38:53.41,00:38:57.21
Oh, absolutely, yes.[br]Con-Con grande, er, pl-plesura.

00:38:57.29,00:38:59.50
Which is what? Turkish?

00:39:07.26,00:39:09.30
 Bello.

00:39:10.97,00:39:13.01
Er, bella.

00:39:14.22,00:39:16.56
Er, mon-montagno,

00:39:16.64,00:39:18.69
arvarez...

00:39:21.65,00:39:24.19
No, right. Silence is golden.

00:39:26.28,00:39:28.45
As the Tremeloes said.

00:39:30.32,00:39:31.99
Clever guys,

00:39:32.08,00:39:37.33
although I think the original version was[br]by Frankie Valli And The Four Seasons.

00:39:37.41,00:39:39.37
Gr-great band.

00:39:42.04,00:39:44.42
Oh, shut up.

00:39:55.22,00:39:57.43
 Mr President!

00:39:59.23,00:40:01.94
- Over here, sir![br]- What will you be talking about?

00:40:03.40,00:40:05.07
Mr President, welcome.

00:40:05.11,00:40:06.74
It's a pleasure to meet you.

00:40:06.82,00:40:09.61
Come through.[br]I'm sorry your wife couldn't make it.

00:40:09.70,00:40:12.95
So is she. Although she would have been[br]kind of Ionely.

00:40:13.03,00:40:15.08
Yes. Pathetic, isn't it?

00:40:15.16,00:40:17.62
Just never been able to tie a girl down.

00:40:17.70,00:40:20.37
Not sure that politics and dating go together.

00:40:20.42,00:40:23.38
Really? I've never found that.

00:40:23.46,00:40:27.88
Yeah, you're still sickeningly handsome,[br]whereas I look like my Aunt Mildred.

00:40:27.96,00:40:32.64
- Very jealous of your plane, by the way.[br]- Thank you. We love that thing.

00:40:32.72,00:40:34.97
Ah, Natalie. Hi.

00:40:35.06,00:40:37.77
Morning, ma'am. How's your day so far?

00:40:37.85,00:40:40.52
- Excellent.

00:40:43.19,00:40:46.94
 My goodness,[br]that's a pretty little son of a bitch.

00:40:47.03,00:40:49.07
Did you see those pipes?

00:40:49.15,00:40:52.32
Yeah, she's terrific. At her job.

00:40:52.41,00:40:57.08
No, absolutely not. We cannot[br]and will not consult on that either.

00:40:57.16,00:40:59.04
That is unexpected.

00:40:59.08,00:41:01.58
Well, it shouldn't be.

00:41:01.67,00:41:04.83
The last administration[br]made it perfectly clear.

00:41:04.92,00:41:07.75
We're being consistent with their policies.

00:41:07.84,00:41:10.67
With all respect, they were bad policies.

00:41:10.76,00:41:13.97
Thanks, Alex. I don't think[br]we're making progress here.

00:41:14.05,00:41:17.93
Let's, erm... move on, shall we?

00:41:20.43,00:41:23.85
Well, now, that was an interesting day.

00:41:25.48,00:41:29.48
Sorry if our line was firm but there's[br]no point in tiptoeing around today,

00:41:29.57,00:41:32.32
then just disappointing you for four years.

00:41:32.40,00:41:35.32
I have plans and I plan to see them through.

00:41:35.41,00:41:38.45
Absolutely.[br]There is one final thing to look at.

00:41:38.54,00:41:41.75
It's very close to my heart.[br]Just give me a second.

00:41:41.83,00:41:44.42
I'll give you anything you ask for.

00:41:44.50,00:41:47.59
As long as it's not something[br]I don't wanna give.

00:41:52.34,00:41:54.01
Hi.

00:41:54.09,00:41:56.14
Pathetic.

00:42:16.87,00:42:20.33
It's great Scotch.

00:42:20.41,00:42:24.33
I'II, erm... I'll be going, then.

00:42:25.83,00:42:28.13
Er, Natalie,

00:42:28.21,00:42:33.13
I hope to see much more of you[br]as our countries work toward a better future.

00:42:33.17,00:42:35.68
Thank you, sir.

00:42:51.94,00:42:53.90
Er, yes, Peter.

00:42:53.99,00:42:56.24
Mr President, has it been a good visit?

00:42:56.32,00:42:59.87
Very satisfactory indeed.

00:42:59.95,00:43:02.62
We got what we came for

00:43:02.62,00:43:06.16
and our special relationship[br]is still very special.

00:43:06.25,00:43:08.75
Prime Minister?

00:43:08.83,00:43:13.34
I love that word "relationship".[br]Covers all manner of sins, doesn't it?

00:43:13.42,00:43:16.93
I fear that this has become[br]a bad relationship.

00:43:18.13,00:43:22.22
A relationship based on[br]the President taking what he wants

00:43:22.31,00:43:27.31
and casually ignoring all those things[br]that really matter to, erm...

00:43:29.98,00:43:32.02
Britain.

00:43:32.11,00:43:36.24
We may be a small country[br]but we're a great one, too.

00:43:36.28,00:43:39.53
The country of Shakespeare,[br]Churchill, the Beatles,

00:43:39.61,00:43:42.83
- Sean Connery, Harry Potter.

00:43:42.91,00:43:45.87
- David Beckham's right foot.

00:43:45.91,00:43:48.62
David Beckham's left foot, come to that.

00:43:48.71,00:43:52.71
And a friend who bullies us[br]is no longer a friend.

00:43:52.79,00:43:56.01
And since bullies only respond to strength,[br]from now onward,

00:43:56.09,00:43:59.80
I will be prepared to be much stronger.

00:43:59.88,00:44:03.14
And the President[br]should be prepared for that.

00:44:13.02,00:44:15.07
Mr President!

00:44:19.20,00:44:20.45
Joe.

00:44:21.53,00:44:23.74
It's your sister on line four.

00:44:25.12,00:44:29.66
All right. Er, yes, I'm very busy[br]and important, how can I help you?

00:44:29.71,00:44:31.88
Have you gone completely insane?

00:44:31.96,00:44:35.67
- You can't always be sensible.[br]- 'You can if you're Prime Minister.'

00:44:35.71,00:44:38.51
- It's the Chancellor on the other line.[br]- It isn't!

00:44:38.55,00:44:41.34
- 'I'll call you back.'[br]- No, you won't!

00:44:43.26,00:44:49.14
The trouble with being the Prime Minister's[br]sister is it puts your life into perspective.

00:44:49.23,00:44:52.31
What did my brother do today?[br]He fought for his country.

00:44:52.40,00:44:56.94
What did I do?[br]I made a papier-mache lobster head.

00:44:57.03,00:44:59.57
What is this we're listening to?

00:44:59.65,00:45:01.91
Joni Mitchell.

00:45:01.99,00:45:04.82
I can't believe you still listen to Joni Mitchell.

00:45:04.91,00:45:08.45
I love her and true love lasts a lifetime.

00:45:09.91,00:45:14.96
Joni Mitchell is the woman who taught[br]your cold English wife how to feel.

00:45:15.04,00:45:19.21
Did she? Oh, well, that's good,[br]I must write to her and say thanks.

00:45:20.63,00:45:22.88
Which doll for Daisy's friend Emily?

00:45:22.97,00:45:27.14
The one that looks like a transvestite[br]or the one that looks like a dominatrix?

00:45:28.43,00:45:31.85
 'It's almost enough[br]to make you feel patriotic,

00:45:31.94,00:45:35.56
'so here's one[br]for our arse-kicking prime minister.

00:45:35.65,00:45:38.32
'A golden oldie for a golden oldie.'

00:45:38.40,00:45:40.78
"Hold me

00:45:40.86,00:45:43.57
"I'll give you all that you need

00:45:44.70,00:45:47.74
"Wrap your love around me

00:45:47.83,00:45:51.50
"You're so excited[br]I can feel you getting hotter

00:45:51.58,00:45:53.25
"Oh baby

00:45:53.33,00:45:57.92
"I'll take you down, I'll take you down

00:45:58.00,00:46:00.34
"Where no one's ever gone before

00:46:00.42,00:46:02.26
"And if you want more

00:46:02.34,00:46:07.14
"If you want more, more, more

00:46:07.22,00:46:09.97
"Jump for my love

00:46:10.06,00:46:11.93
"Jump in

00:46:12.02,00:46:13.77
"And feel my touch

00:46:13.85,00:46:17.98
"Jump, if you wanna taste[br]my kisses in the night then

00:46:18.06,00:46:20.73
"Jump for my love

00:46:21.94,00:46:26.36
"I'll take you down, I'll take you down

00:46:26.45,00:46:27.91
"Where no one's ever gone"

00:46:27.99,00:46:29.87
- Yeah, erm,

00:46:29.95,00:46:35.08
Mary, can we move the Japanese[br]ambassador to four o'clock tomorrow?

00:46:35.17,00:46:38.67
- Certainly, sir.[br]- Terrific. Thanks so much.

00:46:46.09,00:46:48.80
Erm. Would you like the last, er...?

00:46:48.89,00:46:51.18
 Thank you very much but no.

00:46:51.26,00:46:53.39
If you saw my sister, you'd understand why.

00:46:53.48,00:46:55.56
That's all right, more for me.

00:46:55.64,00:46:57.81
Just don't go eating it all yourself,

00:46:57.90,00:46:59.40
you're getting chubbier every day.

00:46:59.48,00:47:03.94
I'm very lucky I've got a constitution[br]where I never put on weight.

00:47:06.20,00:47:09.82
- Hello.

00:47:16.67,00:47:19.13
Oop. Sorry.

00:47:22.63,00:47:24.21
Hello?

00:47:40.19,00:47:42.73
- Thank you.[br]- Nao!

00:47:42.82,00:47:45.99
- Eu peco imensa desculpa.[br]- Oh, no. Hold on.

00:47:46.07,00:47:48.61
- God, it's half the book. Oh, no.[br]- Que desastre.

00:47:48.70,00:47:52.20
Just leave them, please![br]They're not important.

00:47:52.28,00:47:54.95
They're not worth it!

00:47:55.04,00:47:57.96
Stop! Stop.

00:47:58.04,00:48:00.63
Aa-ahh.

00:48:01.84,00:48:04.00
It's all just rubbish.

00:48:05.67,00:48:07.80
Just leave it.

00:48:19.73,00:48:22.94
Oh, God, she's in.

00:48:23.02,00:48:26.82
And now she'll think I'm a total spaz[br]if I don't go in too.

00:48:27.94,00:48:30.32
 Fuck - it's cold!

00:48:33.87,00:48:36.20
Fuck - it's freezing! Fuck!

00:48:36.29,00:48:39.58
 This stuff better be good.

00:48:40.21,00:48:43.13
It's not worth it,[br]this isn't bloody Shakespeare.

00:48:43.21,00:48:45.05
 I don't want to drown

00:48:45.13,00:48:47.88
saving some shit my grandmother[br]could have written.

00:48:47.96,00:48:49.38
Just stop. Stop.

00:48:49.47,00:48:52.18
 What kind of idiot[br]doesn't make copies?

00:48:52.30,00:48:54.14
I really must do copies.

00:48:55.56,00:48:57.72
There'd better not be eels in here.

00:48:57.81,00:49:00.89
 Try not to disturb the eels.

00:49:00.98,00:49:02.94
Oh, what the hell is that?

00:49:13.20,00:49:15.49
Thank you. Thank you so much.

00:49:19.91,00:49:23.42
I know. I'll name[br]one of the characters after you.

00:49:23.50,00:49:28.00
 Maybe you could name[br]one of the characters after me.

00:49:28.09,00:49:31.22
Or give me 50% of the profits.

00:49:31.30,00:49:34.47
Or I could give you 5% of the profits.

00:49:37.51,00:49:40.27
 What kind of book is it?

00:49:49.11,00:49:51.19
- Romance?[br]- Yes.

00:49:51.28,00:49:54.24
It's, erm...

00:49:54.32,00:49:55.53
Ah, er...

00:49:55.62,00:49:57.83
 Thriller... crime...

00:49:57.91,00:50:01.87
 Sim.[br] Crime. Crime, murder.

00:50:01.96,00:50:03.67
 Frightening?

00:50:03.75,00:50:06.84
Er, scary? Yes, sometimes scary.

00:50:06.92,00:50:11.34
And, er, sometimes not.[br]Mainly scary how bad the writing is.

00:50:20.60,00:50:23.02
Mm.

00:50:24.94,00:50:28.73
 I'd better get back to work.

00:50:28.82,00:50:32.57
- Ah.[br]- Later you'll drive me home?

00:50:32.65,00:50:34.70
Sure.

00:50:38.03,00:50:40.99
It's my favourite time of day...

00:50:41.08,00:50:43.12
driving you.

00:50:45.42,00:50:49.92
 It's the saddest part[br]of my day, leaving you.

00:50:55.80,00:50:57.30
Sorry.

00:51:24.75,00:51:28.21
 'And coming up[br]later this morning, it's this guy... '

00:51:28.29,00:51:32.67
"There's no beginning, there'll be no end

00:51:32.75,00:51:36.51
- " Cos on Christmas...[br]- '... the bad grandad of rock'n'roll,

00:51:36.59,00:51:39.18
'here at 10:30. Do not switch off.'

00:51:45.14,00:51:47.02
Banoffee pie?

00:51:47.10,00:51:48.85
No, thanks.

00:51:48.94,00:51:52.40
Thank God. You would've broken my heart[br]if you'd said yes.

00:51:52.48,00:51:55.94
Right, well, lucky you.

00:51:56.03,00:51:59.91
- Can I come in?[br]- Er, yeah, well, I'm a bit busy...

00:51:59.99,00:52:04.87
I was just passing and I thought[br]we might check that video thing out.

00:52:04.95,00:52:07.87
I thought I might be able[br]to swap it for some pie

00:52:07.96,00:52:10.21
or maybe Munchies?

00:52:10.29,00:52:14.67
Actually, I was serious - I don't know[br]where it is. I'll have a look tonight.

00:52:14.75,00:52:17.67
Mark, can I say something?

00:52:17.76,00:52:19.80
Yeah.

00:52:20.89,00:52:23.39
I know you're Peter's best friend

00:52:23.47,00:52:28.60
and I know you've never[br]particularly warmed to me.

00:52:28.69,00:52:31.56
Look, don't, don't argue.

00:52:31.65,00:52:34.02
We've never got friendly.

00:52:34.11,00:52:36.61
But I wanted to say, I hope that can change.

00:52:36.69,00:52:40.74
I'm nice. I really am.[br]Apart from my terrible taste in pie and...

00:52:42.12,00:52:44.70
It would be great if we could be friends.

00:52:45.37,00:52:47.41
Absolutely. Absolutely.

00:52:51.04,00:52:53.42
Great.

00:52:53.50,00:52:56.46
Doesn't mean we'll be able[br]to find the video, though.

00:52:56.55,00:53:00.38
I had a real search when you first called[br]and couldn't find it so...

00:53:00.47,00:53:03.39
This one says[br]"Peter and Juliet's Wedding".

00:53:03.47,00:53:05.76
Do you think we might be on the right track?

00:53:05.85,00:53:10.39
Er, yeah, well... Wow. That-that could be it.

00:53:10.48,00:53:13.19
- Do you mind if I...?[br]- I've probably taped over it.

00:53:13.27,00:53:16.36
Almost everything's episodes of West Wing.

00:53:17.48,00:53:19.53
Oh.

00:53:21.15,00:53:23.24
Oh, bingo.

00:53:24.91,00:53:26.99
That's lovely.

00:53:27.08,00:53:29.20
Well done, you.

00:53:30.58,00:53:32.79
Oh, that's gorgeous.

00:53:34.25,00:53:38.34
Thank you so much, Mark,[br]this is exactly what I was hoping for.

00:53:45.35,00:53:47.60
I look quite pretty.

00:53:54.90,00:53:57.02
You've stayed rather close.

00:54:51.16,00:54:53.41
They're all of me.

00:54:57.50,00:55:00.63
 Yeah. Yeah.

00:55:00.71,00:55:02.76
Yes.

00:55:32.95,00:55:34.91
But...

00:55:36.04,00:55:38.21
you never talk to me.

00:55:40.63,00:55:42.67
You always talk to Peter.

00:55:45.26,00:55:47.43
You don't like me.

00:55:48.68,00:55:50.72
I hope it's useful.

00:55:50.80,00:55:53.85
Don't show it around too much.

00:55:53.93,00:55:57.10
Needs a bit of editing.

00:55:57.19,00:56:00.86
Look, I've got to get to a... lunch.

00:56:00.94,00:56:02.86
Early lunch.

00:56:02.94,00:56:05.86
You can just show yourself out, can't you?

00:56:11.57,00:56:15.91
It's a... self-preservation thing, you see.

00:56:27.17,00:56:30.22
"Oh I am what I am

00:56:30.30,00:56:33.22
"I'll do what I want

00:56:33.30,00:56:38.06
"But I can't hide

00:56:38.14,00:56:40.27
"And I won't go

00:56:41.23,00:56:44.02
"I won't sleep

00:56:44.11,00:56:46.99
"And I can't breathe

00:56:47.07,00:56:50.11
"Until you're resting here with me

00:56:50.20,00:56:52.78
"And I won't leave

00:56:52.87,00:56:55.62
"And I can't hide

00:56:55.70,00:56:58.50
"I cannot be

00:56:58.58,00:57:01.17
"Until you're resting here

00:57:01.25,00:57:04.09
"And I won't go

00:57:04.17,00:57:06.96
"And I won't sleep

00:57:07.05,00:57:09.92
"And I can't breathe

00:57:10.01,00:57:14.47
"Until you're resting here with me"

00:57:14.55,00:57:17.43
- Yeah.

00:57:19.81,00:57:22.77
Annie, my darling, my dream, my boat.

00:57:23.77,00:57:25.94
Ah...

00:57:26.02,00:57:28.61
- Need you to do a favour for me.[br]- Of course.

00:57:28.69,00:57:30.74
Anything for the hero of the hour.

00:57:32.57,00:57:35.53
Don't ask me why,[br]and don't read stuff into this,

00:57:35.62,00:57:38.04
it's just a weird personality thing.

00:57:38.12,00:57:41.16
But, erm, you know Natalie who works here?

00:57:41.25,00:57:43.75
The chubby girl?

00:57:43.83,00:57:45.88
Ooh, would we call her chubby?

00:57:45.96,00:57:50.59
I think there's a pretty sizeable arse there,[br]yes, sir. Huge thighs.

00:57:51.72,00:57:54.72
Yeah. Well, whatever, erm...

00:57:55.89,00:57:59.72
I'm sure she's a lovely girl[br]but I wonder if you could, erm...

00:58:02.35,00:58:05.36
redistribute her?

00:58:05.44,00:58:07.48
It's done.

00:58:42.48,00:58:44.60
Hey, Sammo. Can't sleep?

00:58:45.35,00:58:47.48
I got some terrible news today.

00:58:47.56,00:58:49.52
Let's have it.

00:58:49.61,00:58:52.65
- Joanna's going back to America.[br]- Your girl's American?

00:58:52.74,00:58:55.24
Yes, she's American.

00:58:55.32,00:58:57.70
And she's not my girl.

00:58:57.78,00:59:01.87
And she's going back to America.[br]That's the end of my life as I know it.

00:59:01.95,00:59:04.12
That is bad news.

00:59:06.25,00:59:08.71
Well, we need Kate

00:59:08.79,00:59:12.09
and we need Leo, and we need them now.

00:59:12.17,00:59:13.97
Come on.

00:59:17.68,00:59:19.80
'Hold on. Hold on.

00:59:19.89,00:59:22.14
'Keep your eyes closed.

00:59:22.22,00:59:26.69
- 'Do you trust me? '[br]- 'I trust you.'

00:59:27.65,00:59:30.23
- Do you trust me?[br]- I trust you.

00:59:30.32,00:59:32.90
- Fool![br]- Get off, you big bully.

00:59:35.49,00:59:38.57
'AII right, open your eyes.'

00:59:41.74,00:59:45.33
You know, Sammy,[br]I'm sure she's unique and extraordinary

00:59:45.41,00:59:48.38
but general wisdom is that in the end,

00:59:48.46,00:59:51.88
there isn't just one person for each of us.

00:59:53.00,00:59:55.05
There was for Kate and Leo.

00:59:55.13,00:59:57.80
There was for you.

00:59:57.84,00:59:59.76
And there is for me.

00:59:59.84,01:00:01.81
She's the one.

01:00:03.47,01:00:06.35
Fair enough. And her name's Joanna?

01:00:06.43,01:00:09.60
Yeah, I know. Same as Mum.

01:00:19.95,01:00:22.41
- Yeah.

01:00:26.20,01:00:29.29
- Prime Minister.[br]- Thank you very much.

01:00:44.47,01:00:47.27
Oh. Appolo... Erm, appologia.

01:00:47.35,01:00:52.56
Grande, er... grande familio,[br]grande tradizione de Christmas presents.

01:00:52.65,01:00:54.69
Stupido.

01:01:20.84,01:01:23.51
Well, goodbye.

01:01:23.60,01:01:25.68
 Thank you.

01:01:28.77,01:01:31.23
Erm, it was, erm...

01:01:32.35,01:01:35.36
 I will miss you.

01:01:36.69,01:01:39.57
And your very slow typing...

01:01:40.70,01:01:43.53
and your very bad driving.

01:02:44.22,01:02:48.39
"You know I love Christmas, I always will

01:02:49.89,01:02:54.44
"My mind's made up, the way that I feel

01:02:55.90,01:03:00.44
"There's no beginning, there'll be no end

01:03:00.53,01:03:05.53
"Cos on Christmas you can depend"

01:03:11.75,01:03:13.79
Daniel!

01:03:14.91,01:03:18.96
- I have a plan.[br]- Thank the Lord. Tell me.

01:03:19.04,01:03:22.13
- Well, girls love musicians, don't they?[br]- Uh-huh.

01:03:22.21,01:03:25.13
- Even the weird ones get girlfriends.[br]- That's right.

01:03:25.22,01:03:27.64
Meat Loaf definitely got laid at least once.

01:03:27.72,01:03:31.51
For God's sake,[br]Ringo Starr married a Bond girl.

01:03:31.60,01:03:35.60
Whatever. There's this big concert[br]at the end of term and Joanna's in it.

01:03:35.69,01:03:39.48
I thought if I was in the band[br]and played superbly,

01:03:39.56,01:03:42.65
she might fall in love with me.[br]What do you think?

01:03:42.73,01:03:45.57
I think it's brilliant, I think it's stellar.

01:03:45.65,01:03:49.53
Apart from the one obvious[br]tiny little baby little hiccup.

01:03:49.62,01:03:52.91
- I don't play a musical instrument?[br]- Yes, sir.

01:03:53.75,01:03:55.87
A tiny, insignificant detail.

01:03:59.21,01:04:01.54
"You look into my eyes

01:04:01.63,01:04:04.30
"I go out of my mind

01:04:04.34,01:04:06.30
"I can't see anything

01:04:06.38,01:04:08.93
"Cos this love's got me blind

01:04:09.01,01:04:11.81
"I can't help myself

01:04:11.89,01:04:13.56
"I can't break this spell

01:04:13.64,01:04:17.27
"I can't even try

01:04:18.52,01:04:23.07
"Baby, I'm too lost in you

01:04:23.15,01:04:25.32
"Caught in you

01:04:25.40,01:04:28.86
"Lost in everything about you

01:04:28.95,01:04:33.41
"So deep I can't sleep, I can't..."

01:04:33.49,01:04:36.20
I suppose I'd better do the duty round.

01:04:36.29,01:04:38.33
You're a saint.

01:04:45.34,01:04:48.01
Any chance of a dance with the boss?

01:04:49.05,01:04:51.30
Yeah, sure, sure.

01:04:51.39,01:04:53.72
As long as your boyfriend doesn't mind.

01:04:56.52,01:04:58.52
Not my boyfriend.

01:04:58.60,01:05:00.73
"And you're all I see

01:05:00.81,01:05:03.31
"And you're all I need

01:05:03.40,01:05:05.53
"Help me, baby[br]"Help me, baby

01:05:05.61,01:05:07.07
"Help me, baby

01:05:07.15,01:05:12.49
"Oh baby, I'm too lost in you

01:05:12.53,01:05:13.74
"Caught in you..."

01:05:13.83,01:05:16.33
You're looking very pretty tonight.

01:05:18.20,01:05:20.25
It's for you.

01:05:21.71,01:05:23.75
Sorry?

01:05:26.21,01:05:28.38
It's all for you, sir.

01:05:30.30,01:05:32.14
"You do

01:05:32.22,01:05:35.35
"I'm too lost in you[br]"Baby, baby

01:05:35.43,01:05:39.60
"Baby, I'm too lost in you[br]"Yeah, yeah

01:05:39.68,01:05:42.10
"Caught in you

01:05:42.19,01:05:45.36
"Lost in everything about you

01:05:45.44,01:05:49.53
"So deep I can't sleep"

01:05:50.70,01:05:55.33
'This must be very exciting for you,[br]fighting for the Christmas number one.

01:05:55.41,01:05:58.50
- 'How's it looking so far? '[br]- 'Very bad indeed.

01:05:58.58,01:06:01.75
'Blue are outselling me five to one

01:06:01.83,01:06:04.88
'but I'm hoping for a late surge.

01:06:04.96,01:06:07.96
'And, if I reach number one,

01:06:08.05,01:06:13.97
'I promise to sing a song stark naked[br]on TV on Christmas Eve.'

01:06:15.14,01:06:17.81
- 'Do you mean that? '[br]- 'Of course I do, Michael.

01:06:17.89,01:06:20.93
'Do you want a preview? You old flirt.'

01:06:24.48,01:06:26.36
'That'll never make number one.'

01:06:29.73,01:06:33.15
"And I burn every track[br]Clipse and J Timberlake..."

01:06:33.24,01:06:36.83
I suppose it's his job[br]to dance with everyone, isn't it?

01:06:36.91,01:06:39.08
Some more than others.

01:06:42.33,01:06:44.50
Just one dance?

01:06:44.58,01:06:48.04
- Before we run out of chances.[br]- Who, me?

01:06:48.13,01:06:52.30
- Unless you just...[br]- No! No! Good.

01:06:52.38,01:06:54.51
Yes. Thanks.

01:06:55.97,01:07:00.06
"You're a good girl[br]And that's what makes me trust you like I do

01:07:00.14,01:07:02.81
"Late at night I talk to you

01:07:02.85,01:07:04.35
"Hey

01:07:04.44,01:07:06.44
"You will know the difference when..."

01:07:14.90,01:07:18.87
"Like a flower

01:07:18.95,01:07:23.00
"Waiting to bloom

01:07:25.17,01:07:27.92
"Like a light bulb

01:07:29.13,01:07:31.46
"In a dark room

01:07:33.59,01:07:36.30
"I'm just sitting here

01:07:36.38,01:07:39.10
"Waiting for you

01:07:39.18,01:07:41.47
"To come on home

01:07:41.56,01:07:43.60
"And turn me on

01:07:49.52,01:07:52.40
"Like the desert

01:07:53.53,01:07:58.28
"Waiting for the rain

01:07:59.41,01:08:01.95
"Like a schoolkid

01:08:03.62,01:08:06.37
"Waiting for the spring

01:08:08.17,01:08:09.96
"I'm just sitting here

01:08:10.04,01:08:15.05
"Waiting for you to come on home

01:08:15.13,01:08:18.34
"And turn me on

01:08:18.43,01:08:23.35
"Turn me on"

01:08:23.43,01:08:25.60
Well, then. I'd better go.

01:08:25.68,01:08:27.73
OK.

01:08:29.10,01:08:31.31
- Good night.[br]- Good night.

01:08:48.50,01:08:50.54
Actually...

01:08:50.63,01:08:52.92
- I don't have to go.[br]- Right. Good.

01:08:53.00,01:08:55.09
- I mean...[br]- No, that's good.

01:08:56.13,01:08:59.68
Just, erm, would you excuse me[br]for one second?

01:08:59.76,01:09:02.43
- Sure.[br]- Just one second.

01:09:10.33,01:09:13.71
Erm, OK, that's done. Erm...

01:09:15.34,01:09:18.84
Why don't you come upstairs[br]in about ten seconds?

01:09:18.93,01:09:21.18
- Ten seconds.[br]- Ten seconds.

01:09:45.99,01:09:50.25
"For you

01:09:51.50,01:09:56.30
"There'll be no crying

01:09:58.55,01:10:04.68
"For you

01:10:06.31,01:10:11.06
"The sun will be shining

01:10:11.48,01:10:16.69
"Cos I feel that when I'm with you

01:10:17.78,01:10:21.61
"It's all right..."

01:10:21.70,01:10:24.16
- Just tug it.[br]- OK.

01:10:24.24,01:10:29.58
"I know it's right

01:10:29.62,01:10:33.21
"And the songbirds

01:10:33.29,01:10:42.22
"Keep singing like they know the score

01:10:42.30,01:10:45.55
"And I love you, I love you, I love you..."

01:10:45.64,01:10:48.35
You're beautiful.

01:10:48.43,01:10:52.81
"Like never before..."

01:11:11.66,01:11:13.92
l-I'd better answer that.

01:11:18.21,01:11:21.38
Hello. Hi. Hello, darling.

01:11:21.46,01:11:24.43
No, no, I'm not busy. No, fire away.

01:11:25.55,01:11:27.39
Right.

01:11:27.47,01:11:31.47
Yes, I... I'm not quite sure[br]it's gonna be possible

01:11:31.56,01:11:34.27
to get the Pope on the phone tonight but...

01:11:35.40,01:11:40.94
Yes. Yes, I'm sure he's very good[br]at exorcism but...

01:11:44.45,01:11:46.91
Well, I'm sure...

01:11:46.99,01:11:50.79
Jon Bon Jovi is as well[br]and I'll definitely look into it.

01:11:50.87,01:11:54.41
OK? OK, I'll talk to you later.

01:11:54.50,01:11:56.54
All right, bye-bye.

01:12:01.96,01:12:05.84
- Sorry about that.[br]- No, it's fine.

01:12:05.93,01:12:08.89
It's my brother, he's not well, he calls a lot.

01:12:10.89,01:12:13.35
- I'm sorry.[br]- No, it's fine. It's fine.

01:12:13.43,01:12:16.77
I mean, it's not really fine, it is what it is,

01:12:16.85,01:12:20.48
and there being no parents now[br]and us being over here,

01:12:20.57,01:12:25.95
it's my job to keep an eye on him.[br]Not my job, obviously, I'm glad to do it...

01:12:26.03,01:12:30.83
That's OK. Life is full[br]of interruptions and complications.

01:12:33.45,01:12:35.00
So...

01:12:51.97,01:12:54.02
Will it make him better?

01:12:55.43,01:12:57.19
No.

01:12:57.27,01:12:59.31
Then maybe...

01:13:00.11,01:13:02.15
don't answer.

01:13:09.66,01:13:12.20
Hey. How you doing?

01:13:12.95,01:13:15.91
Right, right. Oh, no, please.

01:13:16.00,01:13:19.25
Oh, please, please don't, little darling.

01:13:19.33,01:13:24.09
Between the two of us we'll find the answer[br]and it won't hurt any more.

01:13:24.17,01:13:26.13
No, no.

01:13:26.21,01:13:28.26
I'm-I'm not busy. I...

01:13:29.93,01:13:33.22
Of course, if you want me[br]to come over I will. Mm-hm.

01:13:34.97,01:13:36.81
OK.

01:13:45.82,01:13:48.65
That was a good night.

01:13:48.74,01:13:51.41
- Except I felt fat.[br]- Don't be ridiculous.

01:13:51.49,01:13:53.12
It's true.

01:13:53.20,01:13:57.37
Nowadays the only clothes I can get into[br]were once owned by Pavarotti.

01:13:57.45,01:14:00.33
I always think Pavarotti dresses very well.

01:14:03.92,01:14:05.96
Mia's very pretty.

01:14:07.88,01:14:09.92
Is she?

01:14:11.30,01:14:14.35
You know she is, darling.

01:14:14.43,01:14:16.60
Be careful there.

01:14:39.87,01:14:42.62
Have you been watching stuff on TV?

01:14:44.00,01:14:46.54
Yeah.

01:14:46.63,01:14:48.59
- Every night.[br]- Good.

01:14:48.67,01:14:50.80
And every day.

01:14:57.76,01:15:02.69
- The nurses are trying to kill me.[br]- Nobody's trying to kill you, babe.

01:15:08.82,01:15:10.86
Thank you.

01:15:13.61,01:15:16.07
Don't do that, my darling.

01:15:18.41,01:15:20.45
Thank you.

01:15:27.54,01:15:29.67
Don't do that.

01:16:02.37,01:16:06.83
Right. Back at three. Christmas shopping,[br]never easy or pleasant.

01:16:06.92,01:16:09.79
Are you gonna get me something?

01:16:09.88,01:16:11.92
Er...

01:16:13.47,01:16:15.51
I don't know, I hadn't thought.

01:16:15.59,01:16:17.43
Where's Sarah, by the way?

01:16:17.51,01:16:20.26
She couldn't make it in. Family thing.

01:16:20.35,01:16:24.06
There's a word for hangover[br]I've never heard before.

01:16:24.14,01:16:28.27
- See you later.[br]- Yes. Looking forward to it.

01:16:31.69,01:16:33.74
A lot.

01:16:45.83,01:16:48.00
Are you gonna give me something?

01:16:49.04,01:16:51.75
I thought I made it clear last night.

01:16:51.84,01:16:55.55
When it comes to me,[br]you can have everything.

01:16:55.63,01:16:59.09
So, erm, what do you need?

01:17:00.39,01:17:04.39
Something along the stationery line?[br]Are you short of staplers?

01:17:04.47,01:17:07.89
No. I don't want something I need.

01:17:07.98,01:17:11.40
I want something I want. Something pretty.

01:17:12.61,01:17:14.48
Right.

01:17:15.61,01:17:17.65
Right.

01:17:25.04,01:17:28.75
Sorry I'm late, I had to drop off[br]Bernie at rehearsal.

01:17:32.67,01:17:35.34
Right, listen, you keep yourself occupied

01:17:35.38,01:17:38.51
while I do the boring stuff for our mothers.

01:18:00.49,01:18:02.62
- Thank you.[br]- Thank you.

01:18:02.70,01:18:05.41
Looking for anything in particular, sir?

01:18:05.49,01:18:09.12
Yes. That necklace there, how much is it?

01:18:09.21,01:18:11.37
It's £270.

01:18:12.75,01:18:16.84
- Erm, all right. Er, I'll have it.[br]- Lovely.

01:18:19.84,01:18:22.97
Would you like it... giftwrapped?

01:18:23.05,01:18:25.81
- Yes, all right.[br]- Lovely.

01:18:28.93,01:18:31.14
Let me just pop it in the box.

01:18:32.81,01:18:34.27
There.

01:18:34.31,01:18:37.94
- Look, could we be quite quick?[br]- Certainly, sir.

01:18:38.03,01:18:40.86
Ready in the flashiest of flashes.

01:18:48.37,01:18:50.00
- There.[br]- That's great.

01:18:50.08,01:18:52.87
Not quite finished.

01:18:56.42,01:19:01.09
- I don't need a bag, I'll put it in my pocket.[br]- Oh, this isn't a bag, sir.

01:19:01.17,01:19:04.55
- Really?[br]- This is so much more than a bag.

01:19:11.35,01:19:13.35
Ooh!

01:19:27.78,01:19:30.16
Could we be quite quick, please?

01:19:30.25,01:19:33.00
Prontissimo.

01:19:51.31,01:19:54.02
- What's that?[br]- A cinnamon stick, sir.

01:19:54.10,01:19:57.61
- Actually, I really can't wait.[br]- You won't regret it, sir.

01:19:57.69,01:19:59.94
Want to bet?

01:20:00.03,01:20:02.44
'Tis but the work of a moment.

01:20:05.95,01:20:08.20
There we go. Almost finished.

01:20:08.28,01:20:12.75
Are you gonna dip it in yogurt?[br]Cover it with chocolate buttons?

01:20:12.83,01:20:15.92
No, sir, we're going to pop it[br]in the Christmas box.

01:20:16.00,01:20:17.58
I don't want a Christmas box.

01:20:17.67,01:20:20.42
- But you wanted it giftwrapped.[br]- I did but...

01:20:20.50,01:20:22.26
- The final flourish.[br]- Can I pay?

01:20:22.30,01:20:25.05
- All we need now...[br]- Oh, God.

01:20:25.13,01:20:27.30
...is a sprig of holly.[br]- No, no, no, no.

01:20:27.39,01:20:29.39
- No bloody holly.[br]- But sir...

01:20:29.47,01:20:32.14
- Leave it.[br]- Ooh!

01:20:32.22,01:20:36.19
- Loitering around the jewellery section?[br]- No. I was just looking around.

01:20:36.27,01:20:38.94
Don't worry. My expectations[br]are not that high

01:20:38.98,01:20:42.61
after 13 years of[br]Mr Oh-But-You-Always-Love-Scarves.

01:20:42.69,01:20:44.74
Actually, I do love this one.

01:20:47.07,01:20:49.24
"I've gotta know

01:20:49.32,01:20:55.46
"Where do the Ionely hearts go..."

01:20:55.54,01:20:58.88
- Hey![br]- What are you doing here?

01:20:58.96,01:21:01.96
Had to rent out my flat to pay for my ticket.

01:21:02.05,01:21:05.38
You're not actually going ahead[br]with this stupid plan?

01:21:05.47,01:21:07.18
I bloody am.

01:21:07.26,01:21:10.55
You think this is full of clothes?[br]Like hell it is.

01:21:10.64,01:21:13.68
It is chock-a-block full of condoms.

01:21:13.77,01:21:17.19
Excellent. Excellent.[br]Perfect, keep that going.

01:21:17.27,01:21:19.52
 Look, erm...

01:21:20.90,01:21:23.44
sorry to be a bit forward and all that but...

01:21:23.53,01:21:28.15
you don't fancy going for a Christmas drink,[br]do you? I mean, nothing implied.

01:21:28.24,01:21:33.83
Just maybe go and see something[br]Christmassy or something.

01:21:33.91,01:21:37.21
Obviously, if you don't want to,[br]you don't have to. I...

01:21:37.29,01:21:39.00
I'm rambling now, sorry.

01:21:39.08,01:21:41.75
No. That would be lovely.

01:21:41.84,01:21:44.17
Oh, great.

01:21:46.55,01:21:47.84
Yay!

01:21:47.92,01:21:50.05
You know, that is really great.

01:21:50.14,01:21:55.06
Normally, I'm really shy, takes me ages[br]to get the courage up, so thank you.

01:22:01.65,01:22:06.99
- Explain again why you're so late.[br]- Can't a man have any secrets?

01:22:07.07,01:22:11.28
We've been waiting for hours,[br]it's the first ever preview.

01:22:11.36,01:22:13.41
"...is a thing of the past

01:22:13.49,01:22:16.87
"Maybe you can bring us all hope this year

01:22:16.95,01:22:19.91
"Visions of sugarplums[br]have disappeared..."

01:22:20.00,01:22:24.04
 It was a starry night[br]in ancient Jerusalem

01:22:24.13,01:22:27.30
and the baby Jesus was in his manger.

01:22:35.43,01:22:39.10
Sherlock Holmes is not a real detective.

01:22:39.18,01:22:42.19
 Is this the way to the train station?

01:22:42.27,01:22:45.40
I would like half-pint of churly.

01:22:46.52,01:22:49.19
I would like a one-day Travelcard.

01:22:49.28,01:22:53.03
 Oh, my God,[br]I've got a terrible stomachache.

01:22:53.11,01:22:55.37
It must have been the prawns.

01:22:55.45,01:22:57.95
Milton Keynes has many roundabouts.

01:22:59.16,01:23:03.33
 My goodness,[br]this is a very big fish!

01:23:03.42,01:23:06.42
It tastes delicious!

01:23:06.50,01:23:08.17
"All alone on Christmas

01:23:08.25,01:23:10.92
"Nobody ought to be alone on Christmas

01:23:10.97,01:23:14.89
"All alone on Christmas[br]"Nobody ought to be alone on Christmas

01:23:14.97,01:23:16.47
"Tell me I've got to know

01:23:16.55,01:23:21.23
"Nobody ought to be alone on Christmas[br]"Don't leave me alone"

01:23:21.31,01:23:26.06
- You'll come back a broken man.[br]- Yeah, back broken from too much sex.

01:23:26.15,01:23:28.48
You are on the road to disaster.

01:23:28.57,01:23:32.03
No, I am on shag highway, heading west.

01:23:32.65,01:23:34.61
Farewell, failure.

01:23:34.70,01:23:38.62
America, watch out![br]Here comes Colin Frissell.

01:23:38.70,01:23:42.25
"And he's got a big knob"

01:23:53.01,01:23:55.55
- Take me to a bar.[br]- What kind of bar?

01:23:55.64,01:23:59.01
Just any bar.[br]Just your average American bar.

01:23:59.81,01:24:02.68
 " Man, it's a hot one

01:24:02.77,01:24:06.06
"Like seven inches[br]from the midday sun..."

01:24:06.15,01:24:09.90
- Can I help you?[br]- Yes. I'd like a Budweiser, please.

01:24:09.98,01:24:13.36
- King of beers.[br]- Bud coming up.

01:24:14.32,01:24:16.57
Oh, my God.

01:24:16.66,01:24:18.53
Are you from England?

01:24:20.20,01:24:22.62
- Yes.[br]- Oh...

01:24:22.70,01:24:25.67
that is so cute.

01:24:25.75,01:24:29.42
Hi, I'm Stacey.

01:24:29.50,01:24:31.55
Jeannie?

01:24:33.47,01:24:35.55
Yeah?

01:24:35.63,01:24:38.39
- This is...[br]- Colin.

01:24:39.93,01:24:42.14
Frissell.

01:24:42.22,01:24:44.31
Cute name.

01:24:44.39,01:24:47.19
- Jeannie.[br]- He's from England.

01:24:47.27,01:24:49.48
Yep. Basildon.

01:24:49.56,01:24:52.44
- Oh.[br]- Oh.

01:24:52.53,01:24:57.45
Wait till Carol-Anne gets here.[br]She's crazy about English guys.

01:24:57.53,01:24:59.66
 Uh-huh.

01:25:02.74,01:25:06.71
- Hey, girls.[br]- Carol-Anne, come meet Colin.

01:25:06.79,01:25:09.38
He's from England.

01:25:09.46,01:25:13.67
Well, step aside, ladies. This one's on me.

01:25:16.84,01:25:19.39
- Hey, gorgeous.

01:25:21.18,01:25:23.26
That is so funny!

01:25:24.64,01:25:26.98
- What do you call that?[br]- Er, bottle.

01:25:27.06,01:25:29.15
 "Bottle."

01:25:29.23,01:25:31.27
- What about this?[br]- Er, straw.

01:25:31.36,01:25:33.19
 "Straw."

01:25:33.27,01:25:35.24
- What about this?[br]- Table.

01:25:36.53,01:25:38.57
- Table. The same.[br]- Oh, it's the same.

01:25:38.66,01:25:42.03
- Where are you staying?[br]- I don't actually know.

01:25:42.12,01:25:44.91
I'll just check into a motel like in the movies.

01:25:45.00,01:25:48.29
Oh, my God. Oh, my God, that is so cute.

01:25:48.37,01:25:53.09
No, no, no, listen. This may be a bit pushy[br]cos we just met you but...

01:25:53.17,01:25:55.67
why don't you come back[br]and sleep at our place?

01:25:55.76,01:25:57.88
- Yeah.[br]- Yeah.

01:25:57.97,01:26:00.93
Well, if it's not too much[br]of an inconvenience.

01:26:01.01,01:26:04.01
- Hell no![br]- But there's one problem.

01:26:04.10,01:26:06.18
What?

01:26:06.27,01:26:09.89
Well, we're not the richest of girls,[br]you know.

01:26:09.98,01:26:14.94
So we just have a little bed and no couch.

01:26:15.03,01:26:18.36
So you'd have to share with all three of us.

01:26:18.45,01:26:24.87
And on this cold, cold night it's gonna be[br]crowded and sweaty and stuff.

01:26:24.95,01:26:27.70
And we can't even afford pyjamas.

01:26:27.79,01:26:30.17
No?

01:26:30.25,01:26:32.75
Which means...

01:26:32.83,01:26:35.00
we would be naked.

01:26:39.72,01:26:41.34
No, no, I think it'd be fine.

01:26:41.43,01:26:43.80
- Great.[br]- Erm...

01:26:43.89,01:26:46.97
The thing that's gonna make it[br]more crowded...

01:26:47.06,01:26:49.23
Harriet. You haven't met Harriet.

01:26:49.31,01:26:51.14
- There's a fourth?[br]- Yeah.

01:26:51.23,01:26:55.52
Don't worry, you're totally gonna like her[br]cos she is "the sexy one".

01:26:55.61,01:26:58.36
- Really? Wow.[br]- Yeah.

01:26:58.44,01:27:02.28
- Praise the Lord![br]- Oh, and he's a Christian.

01:27:04.78,01:27:06.41
 Cheers.

01:27:06.45,01:27:09.00
"If I could

01:27:09.08,01:27:11.21
"Then I would

01:27:11.29,01:27:15.46
"I'll go wherever you will go

01:27:15.54,01:27:17.55
"Way up high

01:27:17.63,01:27:19.67
"Or down low

01:27:19.76,01:27:23.93
"I'll go wherever you will go

01:27:24.01,01:27:27.39
"If I could turn back..."

01:27:27.43,01:27:30.68
One present only each tonight.[br]Who's got one for Dad?

01:27:30.77,01:27:32.73
- I have.[br]- Let Mummy go first.

01:27:32.77,01:27:35.94
- I'll get it.[br]- No, no, no. I want to choose mine.

01:27:36.02,01:27:38.27
I think I want...

01:27:40.49,01:27:44.24
...this one.[br]- I have bought the traditional scarf as well

01:27:44.32,01:27:48.24
but this is my other,[br]slightly special, personal one.

01:27:48.28,01:27:50.45
Thank you.

01:27:50.50,01:27:52.62
That's a real first.

01:27:52.71,01:27:55.13
- Rip it![br]- What is it?

01:27:55.21,01:27:57.75
I'm going to... All right, I'll rip it.

01:28:04.34,01:28:06.72
God, that's a surprise.

01:28:07.97,01:28:09.76
 What is it?

01:28:11.68,01:28:15.35
It's a CD. Joni Mitchell, wow.

01:28:15.40,01:28:17.77
To continue your emotional education.

01:28:17.86,01:28:20.03
Yes.

01:28:20.11,01:28:22.57
Goodness.

01:28:22.65,01:28:24.61
That's great.

01:28:24.65,01:28:27.62
- My brilliant wife.[br]- Ah, yes.

01:28:29.87,01:28:34.21
Actually, do you mind if I just absent myself[br]for a second?

01:28:34.29,01:28:37.17
All that ice cream. Er...

01:28:37.25,01:28:40.50
Darling, could you make sure[br]the kids are ready to go?

01:28:40.55,01:28:43.67
- Back in a minute.[br]- All right, take it easy.

01:28:44.09,01:28:46.01
 Mine first. Mine.

01:28:46.43,01:28:49.22
"Moons and Junes

01:28:49.30,01:28:51.68
"And Ferris wheels

01:28:53.18,01:28:58.40
"The dizzy dancing way that you feel

01:28:58.48,01:29:03.53
"As every fairy tale comes real

01:29:05.95,01:29:08.41
"I've looked at love that way

01:29:12.08,01:29:15.71
"But now it's just another show

01:29:17.96,01:29:22.50
"And you leave 'em laughing when you go

01:29:23.92,01:29:26.63
"And if you care

01:29:26.72,01:29:28.89
"Don't let them know

01:29:30.72,01:29:33.93
"Don't give yourself away

01:29:36.73,01:29:39.06
"I've looked at love

01:29:39.15,01:29:42.02
"From both sides now

01:29:42.07,01:29:44.19
"From give and take

01:29:45.44,01:29:48.61
"And still somehow

01:29:48.70,01:29:53.91
"It's love's illusions that I recall

01:29:55.83,01:29:58.25
"I really don't know love

01:30:02.54,01:30:05.30
"I really don't know love at all

01:30:17.06,01:30:19.31
"Tears and fears

01:30:19.35,01:30:22.19
"And feeling proud

01:30:23.31,01:30:28.36
"To say I love you right out loud

01:30:29.49,01:30:32.16
"Dreams and schemes

01:30:32.24,01:30:35.04
"And circus crowds

01:30:36.41,01:30:39.46
"I've looked at life that way

01:30:40.96,01:30:43.13
"Oh but now old friends..."

01:30:43.21,01:30:44.84
Oh, my God.

01:30:44.92,01:30:47.96
It's a miracle. You're all dressed.

01:30:48.05,01:30:51.09
Come on, come on, come on,[br]we're horribly late.

01:30:51.18,01:30:53.60
Come on, then. In the car. In the car.

01:30:54.80,01:30:57.64
"Well something's lost

01:30:57.72,01:30:59.56
"But something's gained

01:31:01.02,01:31:04.31
"In living every day"

01:31:04.61,01:31:07.65
- Has she noticed you yet?[br]- No.

01:31:07.73,01:31:12.36
But the thing about romance is people[br]only get together right at the very end.

01:31:12.41,01:31:14.62
Of course.

01:31:15.74,01:31:19.58
By the way, I feel bad. I never ask you[br]how your love life is going.

01:31:19.66,01:31:21.62
Er-huh!

01:31:21.71,01:31:23.50
No.

01:31:23.58,01:31:26.50
As you know,[br]that was a done deal long ago.

01:31:27.84,01:31:32.80
Unless Claudia Schiffer calls, in which case[br]I want you out of here straightaway,

01:31:32.88,01:31:36.10
- you wee motherless mongrel.[br]- Oh!

01:31:36.18,01:31:40.02
No, no. We'll want to have sex[br]in every room, including yours.

01:31:40.81,01:31:43.85
'It's a rainy Christmas Eve all over the UK

01:31:43.94,01:31:48.02
'and the question is who is number one[br]on the Radio One chart show tonight?

01:31:48.11,01:31:52.07
'Is it Blue or the unexpected[br]Christmas sensation from Billy Mack?

01:31:52.15,01:31:56.03
'You might have guessed it[br]although you may not believe it.

01:31:56.12,01:31:58.33
'It's Billy Mack.'

01:32:00.54,01:32:03.21
- You are the champion![br]- Shh.

01:32:03.29,01:32:05.25
- 'Hi, Billy.'[br]- Hello.

01:32:05.33,01:32:09.13
'We're live across the nation[br]and you're number one.

01:32:09.21,01:32:11.80
- 'How will you be celebrating? '[br]- I don't know.

01:32:11.88,01:32:15.01
Er, either I could behave like[br]a real rock'n'roll loser

01:32:15.09,01:32:17.85
and get drunk with my fat manager...

01:32:17.93,01:32:20.02
or, when I hang up,

01:32:20.10,01:32:24.98
I'll be flooded by invitations[br]to a large number of glamorous parties.

01:32:25.06,01:32:28.69
'Let's hope it's the latter. Here it is.[br]Number one, from Billy Mack,

01:32:28.77,01:32:32.99
- 'it's Christmas Is All Around.'[br]- Oh, Jesus, not that crap again.

01:32:33.07,01:32:35.74
"I feel it in my fingers..."

01:32:35.78,01:32:38.24
Bill, it's for you, babe.

01:32:39.28,01:32:41.75
Hello. Elton.

01:32:41.83,01:32:45.29
O-Of course. Of course.

01:32:45.37,01:32:48.75
Send an embarrassingly big car[br]and I'll be there.

01:32:50.59,01:32:54.26
It's gonna be a very good Christmas.

01:33:02.27,01:33:05.02
- Right.[br]- I'd better be getting inside, actually.

01:33:05.10,01:33:09.27
- My mum and... you know.[br]- Of course, yeah. It's getting a bit cold.

01:33:09.36,01:33:11.82
Erm...

01:33:11.90,01:33:14.69
- Well, good night.[br]- Night.

01:33:17.32,01:33:19.16
Er...

01:33:24.62,01:33:27.67
Er... OK.

01:33:40.43,01:33:43.10
All I want for Christmas...

01:33:43.18,01:33:46.64
- is you.

01:33:46.73,01:33:49.31
Right.

01:33:49.40,01:33:52.40
Thank you. Good.

01:33:52.48,01:33:54.36
Good night.

01:33:55.49,01:33:58.78
Ha ha ha! Ho.

01:33:58.86,01:34:03.08
"I'm, I'm dreaming

01:34:04.41,01:34:08.00
"Dreaming of a white..."

01:34:08.08,01:34:10.67
Oh, look, everyone, it's Uncle Jamie.

01:34:10.75,01:34:13.59
Hi, Uncle Jamie!

01:34:13.67,01:34:17.92
Yes, oh, splendid. It's lovely to see you all.

01:34:18.01,01:34:20.47
And, er...

01:34:21.59,01:34:22.93
I'm off, actually.

01:34:23.01,01:34:25.89
But Jamie, darling.

01:34:25.97,01:34:28.52
Sorry.

01:34:28.60,01:34:31.27
Man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.

01:34:34.36,01:34:36.28
I hate Uncle Jamie!

01:34:36.36,01:34:39.61
 I hate Uncle Jamie.[br] I hate Uncle Jamie.

01:34:39.70,01:34:41.82
"And try to listen

01:34:43.58,01:34:46.62
"To hear

01:34:46.70,01:34:49.00
"Hear for the sleigh bells

01:34:49.08,01:34:51.12
"That are ringing in the snow..."

01:34:51.21,01:34:54.09
Gatwick airport, please. Fast as you can.

01:34:58.51,01:35:00.97
"l-l-I

01:35:02.05,01:35:04.10
"I'm dreaming

01:35:06.14,01:35:08.85
"Of a white..."

01:35:08.93,01:35:11.69
- Night, Sarah.[br]- Night, Karl.

01:35:12.65,01:35:14.69
I, er...

01:35:18.78,01:35:21.65
- Merry Christmas.[br]- Merry Christmas.

01:35:26.28,01:35:29.75
"I want you to know, may your day

01:35:29.83,01:35:33.00
"May your day

01:35:33.08,01:35:37.42
"Be so merry, merry and bright..."

01:35:42.05,01:35:45.05
Hi, babe, how's it going? Yeah.

01:35:45.14,01:35:47.81
Is it all party, party, party down there?

01:35:47.85,01:35:49.93
"All of your Christmases

01:35:51.06,01:35:53.60
"And may all

01:35:53.69,01:35:57.02
"And may all of your Christmases

01:35:58.57,01:36:00.40
"Baby may your days

01:36:00.49,01:36:04.20
"May your days be merry

01:36:04.28,01:36:06.49
"Merry, so merry..."

01:36:06.57,01:36:09.70
- Sam, time for dinner.[br]- I'm not hungry.

01:36:09.79,01:36:13.25
Sam, I've done chicken kebabs.

01:36:13.33,01:36:15.50
 Look at the sign on the door.

01:36:19.67,01:36:21.72
Right.

01:36:27.51,01:36:30.22
It's a little long.

01:36:30.31,01:36:36.27
"Dreaming,[br]dreaming of a white, white Christmas..."

01:36:38.40,01:36:40.44
I'll get it.

01:36:46.66,01:36:49.62
- Oh, hi.[br]- Who is it?

01:36:54.16,01:36:56.04
It's carol singers.

01:36:56.12,01:36:58.21
Give them a quid and tell them to bugger off.

01:37:01.92,01:37:06.80
"Silent night

01:37:06.89,01:37:11.26
"Holy night

01:37:11.35,01:37:15.77
"All is calm

01:37:15.85,01:37:20.27
"All is bright

01:37:20.36,01:37:24.90
"Round yon virgin

01:37:24.99,01:37:29.32
"Mother and child

01:37:29.41,01:37:33.45
"Holy infant

01:37:33.54,01:37:38.12
"So tender and mild

01:37:38.21,01:37:46.30
"Sleep in heavenly peace

01:37:47.63,01:37:52.97
"Sleep in heavenly peace

01:37:56.73,01:38:00.81
"Silent night

01:38:00.90,01:38:05.36
"Holy night

01:38:05.44,01:38:09.70
"Shepherds quake

01:38:09.78,01:38:11.74
"At the sight..."

01:38:11.83,01:38:13.91
 Merry Christmas.

01:38:13.99,01:38:18.25
"Glories stream

01:38:18.33,01:38:22.67
"From heaven afar

01:38:23.46,01:38:32.26
"Heavenly hosts sing alleluia

01:38:32.35,01:38:40.44
"Christ the saviour is born

01:38:41.56,01:38:47.07
"Christ the saviour is born"

01:38:50.11,01:38:52.82
Enough.

01:38:52.91,01:38:54.78
Enough now.

01:39:02.25,01:39:06.88
What the hell are you doing here?[br]You're supposed to be at Elton John's.

01:39:06.96,01:39:12.14
Well, I was there for a minute or two[br]and then I had an epiphany.

01:39:12.22,01:39:14.60
- Really?[br]- Yeah.

01:39:14.68,01:39:16.77
Come on. Just come up.

01:39:16.85,01:39:19.98
So what was this epiphany?

01:39:20.06,01:39:22.81
Erm, it... it was about Christmas.

01:39:22.90,01:39:25.15
You realised it was all around.

01:39:25.23,01:39:29.61
No. I realised that Christmas is the time[br]to be with the people you love.

01:39:30.74,01:39:32.24
Right.

01:39:32.32,01:39:39.12
And I realised that, as dire chance[br]and fateful cockup would have it,

01:39:39.20,01:39:41.21
here I am,

01:39:41.29,01:39:43.58
mid-fifties,

01:39:43.67,01:39:46.84
and without knowing it,[br]I've spent most of my adult life

01:39:46.92,01:39:50.72
with a chubby employee.

01:39:50.80,01:39:53.51
And, much as it grieves me to say it,

01:39:53.59,01:39:59.35
it might be that the people I love is, in fact...

01:40:00.48,01:40:03.35
you.

01:40:04.48,01:40:06.56
Well, this is a surprise.

01:40:06.65,01:40:08.44
Yeah.

01:40:08.53,01:40:10.78
Ten minutes at Elton John's and you're gay?

01:40:10.86,01:40:12.90
No, look. I'm serious here.

01:40:12.99,01:40:18.83
I left Elton's and a hefty number[br]of half-naked chicks with their mouths open

01:40:18.91,01:40:23.21
in order to hang out with you at Christmas.

01:40:24.79,01:40:30.21
- Well, Bill...[br]- It's a terrible, terrible mistake, chubs...

01:40:34.05,01:40:37.39
but you turn out to be[br]the fucking love of my life.

01:40:40.89,01:40:44.77
And to be honest,[br]despite all my complaining...

01:40:46.69,01:40:49.11
we have had a wonderful life.

01:40:53.65,01:40:55.32
Well...

01:40:57.16,01:40:59.33
thank you.

01:41:01.04,01:41:04.04
I mean, come on, it's been an honour.

01:41:05.58,01:41:07.96
I feel very proud.

01:41:08.04,01:41:10.17
Oh, look, don't be a moron.

01:41:21.10,01:41:24.52
Come on, let's get pissed and watch porn.

01:41:44.00,01:41:46.50
 'Dear sir, Dear David,

01:41:46.58,01:41:50.00
'Merry Christmas and I hope you have[br]a very happy New Year.

01:41:50.09,01:41:52.59
'I'm very sorry[br]about the thing that happened.

01:41:52.67,01:41:55.76
'It was a very odd moment[br]and I feel like a prize idiot.

01:41:55.84,01:41:57.72
'Particularly because -

01:41:57.80,01:42:00.55
'if you can't say it at Christmas,[br]when can you, eh? - 

01:42:00.64,01:42:04.39
'I'm actually yours. With love, your Natalie.'

01:42:24.37,01:42:26.54
Jack, yeah, I need a car.

01:42:26.62,01:42:28.67
Right now. Thank you.

01:42:40.30,01:42:42.64
Oh, don't wait up.

01:42:46.39,01:42:48.73
I'd like to go to Wandsworth, the dodgy end.

01:42:48.81,01:42:51.02
Very good, sir.

01:42:51.10,01:42:54.73
"Tell me how you want me

01:42:54.82,01:42:58.49
"I can feel it in your heart beat

01:42:58.57,01:43:01.53
"I know you like what you see..."

01:43:01.61,01:43:04.53
 Harris Street. What number, sir?

01:43:04.62,01:43:09.50
 Oh, God, it's the longest street[br]in the world and I have absolutely no idea.

01:43:09.58,01:43:12.50
"Wrap your love around me

01:43:12.58,01:43:15.55
"You're so excited[br]I can feel you getting hotter"

01:43:17.67,01:43:19.55
Hello, does Natalie live here?

01:43:19.63,01:43:23.09
- No.[br]- Right, fine, thank you. Sorry to disturb.

01:43:23.18,01:43:25.31
Here, aren't...

01:43:25.39,01:43:28.73
Aren't you the Prime Minister?

01:43:28.81,01:43:33.48
- Er, yes. In fact, I am. Merry Christmas.[br]- Oh.

01:43:33.56,01:43:37.40
Part of the service now. Trying to get round[br]everyone by New Year's Eve.

01:43:41.65,01:43:44.95
Ah. Hello. Does Natalie live here?

01:43:45.03,01:43:47.70
- No, she doesn't.[br]- Oh dear. OK.

01:43:47.74,01:43:51.00
- Are you singing carols?[br]- Er, no. No, I'm not.

01:43:51.08,01:43:54.29
- Please, sir, please.[br]- Please.

01:43:57.17,01:43:59.01
Well, I suppose I could.

01:43:59.09,01:44:00.92
Please.

01:44:02.30,01:44:04.51
- All right.

01:44:06.85,01:44:09.81
"Good King Wenceslas looked out

01:44:09.89,01:44:13.65
"On the feast of Stephen

01:44:13.73,01:44:17.19
"When the snow lay round about

01:44:17.27,01:44:20.69
"Deep and crisp and even

01:44:20.78,01:44:24.28
"Brightly shone the moon that night"

01:44:24.36,01:44:26.91
- Hello. Sorry to disturb.

01:44:26.99,01:44:29.95
- Does Natalie live here?[br]- No.

01:44:30.04,01:44:32.16
She lives next door.

01:44:34.67,01:44:37.25
Ah. Brilliant.

01:44:37.34,01:44:40.30
You're not who I think you are, are you?

01:44:40.38,01:44:42.47
Yes and I'm sorry about all the cockups.

01:44:42.55,01:44:45.97
My cabinet are absolute crap.[br]We hope to do better next year.

01:44:46.05,01:44:48.26
Merry Christmas to you.

01:45:03.07,01:45:06.87
- Ah. Hello.

01:45:06.91,01:45:09.20
Is, er, Natalie in?

01:45:09.24,01:45:12.16
Oh, where the fuck is my fucking coat?

01:45:13.54,01:45:17.42
- Oh. Hello.[br]- Hello.

01:45:17.50,01:45:22.59
Erm, this is my mum and my dad[br]and my Uncle Tony and my Auntie Glynne.

01:45:22.67,01:45:24.59
- Hello.[br]- Very nice to meet you.

01:45:24.63,01:45:28.47
And, erm... this is the Prime Minister.

01:45:28.55,01:45:31.43
Yes, we can see that, darling.

01:45:31.51,01:45:34.31
And erm, unfortunately, we're very late.

01:45:34.39,01:45:37.48
It's the school Christmas concert,[br]you see, David.

01:45:37.56,01:45:40.98
All the local schools have joined together,[br]even St Basil's...

01:45:41.07,01:45:44.90
- Too much detail, Mum.[br]- Anyway, how can we help, sir?

01:45:44.94,01:45:48.87
Well, I... just needed Natalie...

01:45:51.66,01:45:53.70
on some state business.

01:45:53.79,01:45:58.38
- Oh.[br]- Right, yes. Of course.

01:45:58.46,01:46:00.21
Right, er...

01:46:00.29,01:46:03.00
Well, perhaps you should[br]come on later, Plumpy.

01:46:03.09,01:46:04.46
Er, Natalie.

01:46:04.51,01:46:07.05
I don't want to make you late for the concert.

01:46:07.13,01:46:10.76
- No, it's nothing, really.[br]- Keith'll be very disappointed.

01:46:10.85,01:46:14.97
- No, really, it doesn't matter.[br]- The octopus costume's taken me months.

01:46:15.06,01:46:17.06
Eight is a lot of legs, David.

01:46:17.14,01:46:19.65
Mm. Erm...

01:46:21.44,01:46:23.57
Listen, why don't I give you a lift

01:46:23.65,01:46:28.74
and then we can talk about[br]this state business business in the car.

01:46:30.32,01:46:31.83
OK.

01:46:31.87,01:46:34.74
- Lovely, yes.[br]- Thank you.

01:46:34.83,01:46:36.91
Hold tight, everybody.

01:46:43.55,01:46:46.34
- How far is this place?[br]- Just round the corner.

01:46:46.42,01:46:49.09
Ah, right. Well, er...

01:46:51.05,01:46:53.26
I just wanted to say...

01:46:55.22,01:46:57.35
thank you for the Christmas card.

01:46:57.43,01:46:59.23
You're welcome.

01:46:59.27,01:47:01.23
Look, I'm so sorry about that day.

01:47:01.31,01:47:04.61
I came in and he slinked towards me[br]and there was a fire

01:47:04.69,01:47:09.15
and he's the President of the United States[br]and nothing happened, I promise.

01:47:09.24,01:47:12.37
I just felt like such a fool because...

01:47:12.45,01:47:15.70
I think about you all the time, actually.

01:47:15.79,01:47:19.16
- And I think you're the man that I really...[br]- We're here.

01:47:19.25,01:47:20.87
...Iove.[br]- Oh, wow.

01:47:20.96,01:47:23.63
That really was just round the corner. Er...

01:47:25.34,01:47:27.38
Erm...

01:47:29.88,01:47:32.09
Ow!

01:47:38.60,01:47:40.89
Well, look, I...

01:47:42.69,01:47:45.19
I think I'd better not come in, you know?

01:47:46.19,01:47:49.74
Nobody wants some politician[br]stealing the kids' thunder.

01:47:49.82,01:47:53.41
No, please come. It'll be great.

01:47:53.49,01:47:56.16
No, I'd... I'd better not.

01:47:57.29,01:48:02.08
But I will be very sorry

01:48:02.17,01:48:04.25
to drive away from you.

01:48:05.71,01:48:07.92
Just give me one second.

01:48:21.89,01:48:25.02
John's been very mysterious.[br]Where did you two meet?

01:48:25.11,01:48:28.19
- Erm... erm...[br]- Um... um...

01:48:31.28,01:48:33.36
No!

01:49:04.73,01:49:08.36
Come on in. We can watch from backstage.

01:49:08.44,01:49:10.61
OK. Terry, I won't be long.

01:49:14.11,01:49:16.99
Look, this has to be a very secret visit, OK?

01:49:17.07,01:49:21.20
Don't worry. This was my school.[br]I know my way around. Come on.

01:49:23.91,01:49:27.17
Look, the sheep are ready already[br]and you're not even...

01:49:27.25,01:49:31.25
- Oh, David.[br]- Ah!

01:49:31.34,01:49:33.63
Oh, how are you?

01:49:33.72,01:49:37.76
Hi, guys. Hey, hey, hey. You all right?

01:49:37.84,01:49:39.97
What the hell are you doing here?

01:49:40.06,01:49:43.06
- Well, you know...[br]- We always tell your secretary

01:49:43.14,01:49:47.85
that these things are going on but it never[br]occurred to me you'd actually turn up.

01:49:47.90,01:49:49.81
I thought it was time I did.

01:49:49.90,01:49:53.28
I didn't want anyone to see,[br]so I'm gonna hide somewhere.

01:49:53.36,01:49:55.78
Good luck, Daisy, good luck, Bernie.

01:49:55.86,01:49:59.57
I've never been gladder[br]to see my stupid big brother.

01:49:59.66,01:50:02.91
- Thank you.[br]- All right.

01:50:02.99,01:50:05.91
Oh, now. We haven't been introduced.

01:50:06.00,01:50:09.04
Right. Well, this is Gavin.

01:50:09.13,01:50:11.34
- Hello, Gavin.[br]- My copper.

01:50:11.38,01:50:13.46
And this is Natalie, who's my, erm...

01:50:13.55,01:50:16.38
- who's my, erm, catering manager.[br]- Oh.

01:50:16.47,01:50:18.51
- Hi.[br]- Catering manager.

01:50:18.59,01:50:20.64
Watch he keeps his hands off you.

01:50:20.72,01:50:22.89
20 years ago, you'd have been his type.

01:50:22.97,01:50:27.89
I'll be very careful. Don't try something, sir,[br]just because it's Christmas.

01:50:27.98,01:50:30.11
- No, seriously.

01:50:30.15,01:50:32.52
Come on. Showtime. Quickly.

01:50:32.61,01:50:35.28
- Look, see you after, yeah?[br]- Probably.

01:50:35.32,01:50:38.24
- Thank you, Prime Minister.[br]- It's all right.

01:50:38.32,01:50:40.49
- Come on.[br]- Right.

01:50:40.57,01:50:43.83
"Catch a falling star[br]and put it in your pocket

01:50:43.91,01:50:48.50
"Save it for a rainy day

01:50:48.58,01:50:52.63
"Catch a falling star[br]And put it in your pocket

01:50:52.71,01:50:55.84
"Never let it fade away

01:50:56.97,01:51:01.01
"Never let it fade away

01:51:01.68,01:51:06.81
"Never let it fade away"

01:51:14.44,01:51:18.07
Hillier School would now like to present[br]their Christmas number.

01:51:18.11,01:51:21.07
Lead vocals by ten-year-old[br]Joanna Anderson,

01:51:21.16,01:51:23.74
backing vocals coordinated by her mother,

01:51:23.83,01:51:26.04
the great Mrs Jean Anderson.

01:51:26.12,01:51:29.00
Erm, some of the staff[br]have decided to help out

01:51:29.04,01:51:33.59
and for this, we ask you to forgive us.

01:51:33.67,01:51:35.50
Thank you.

01:51:41.26,01:51:44.85
 " I don't want a lot for Christmas

01:51:44.93,01:51:49.23
"There's just one thing I need

01:51:49.31,01:51:52.60
"I don't care about the presents

01:51:52.69,01:51:56.57
"Underneath the Christmas tree

01:51:56.65,01:52:00.28
"I just want you for my own

01:52:00.32,01:52:04.16
"More than you could ever know

01:52:04.24,01:52:08.16
"Make my wish come true

01:52:08.24,01:52:12.37
"All I want for Christmas

01:52:12.46,01:52:20.13
"Is you

01:52:22.22,01:52:24.80
"I don't want a lot for Christmas

01:52:24.84,01:52:28.18
"There's just one thing I need

01:52:28.22,01:52:31.23
"I don't care about the presents

01:52:31.31,01:52:34.48
"Underneath the Christmas tree

01:52:34.56,01:52:37.86
"I just want you for my own

01:52:37.94,01:52:40.86
"More than you could ever know

01:52:40.94,01:52:44.03
"Make my wish come true

01:52:44.11,01:52:48.79
"All I want for Christmas is you

01:52:50.45,01:52:52.75
"You baby

01:52:52.83,01:52:56.71
"Oh, all the lights are shining

01:52:56.79,01:53:00.88
"So brightly everywhere

01:53:00.96,01:53:04.72
"And the sound of children's laughter[br]fills the air

01:53:04.80,01:53:07.18
"Laughter fills the air

01:53:07.26,01:53:10.18
"Everyone is singing[br]"Oh yeah

01:53:10.27,01:53:12.64
"I hear those sleigh bells ringing

01:53:12.73,01:53:15.52
"Santa won't you bring me my honey

01:53:15.60,01:53:19.07
"Won't you please bring my baby to me

01:53:19.15,01:53:22.07
"I don't want a lot for Christmas

01:53:22.15,01:53:25.66
"This is all I'm asking for[br]"All I'm asking for

01:53:25.74,01:53:28.66
"I just wanna see my baby

01:53:28.70,01:53:31.87
"Standing right outside my door

01:53:31.95,01:53:34.62
"Cos I just want you for my own

01:53:34.71,01:53:38.00
"More than you could ever know[br]"You will ever know

01:53:38.08,01:53:41.42
"Make my wish come true

01:53:41.46,01:53:45.63
"All I want for Christmas

01:53:45.72,01:53:49.30
"Is you

01:53:49.39,01:53:51.68
"All I want for Christmas

01:53:51.77,01:53:55.27
"And you and you

01:53:55.31,01:53:58.23
"And you and you[br]"All I want for Christmas

01:53:59.15,01:54:02.69
"All I want for Christmas"

01:54:18.96,01:54:20.92
Right.

01:54:23.92,01:54:26.30
So, not quite as secret as we'd hoped.

01:54:26.38,01:54:28.64
- What do we do now?[br]- Smile.

01:54:29.72,01:54:31.81
Little bow.

01:54:35.18,01:54:37.35
And a wave.

01:54:50.70,01:54:53.91
Absolutely no idea.[br]I mean, can you imagine?

01:54:53.99,01:54:56.08
I'll see you later, all right?

01:54:56.16,01:54:58.29
I'll speak to you. Bye.

01:55:00.75,01:55:04.88
Tell me, if you were in my position,[br]what would you do?

01:55:04.96,01:55:07.01
What position is that?

01:55:07.09,01:55:10.80
Imagine your husband[br]bought a gold necklace

01:55:10.89,01:55:13.97
and, come Christmas,[br]gave it to somebody else.

01:55:14.06,01:55:16.81
- Oh, Karen...[br]- Would you wait around to find out...

01:55:16.89,01:55:19.56
- Good night.[br]- Night, darling. Happy Christmas.

01:55:19.60,01:55:22.56
Would you wait around to find out[br]if it's just a necklace

01:55:22.65,01:55:25.03
or if it's sex and a necklace

01:55:25.11,01:55:28.78
or if, worst of all, it's a necklace and love?

01:55:30.07,01:55:35.20
Would you stay? Knowing life[br]would always be a little bit worse?

01:55:35.29,01:55:38.75
- Or would you cut and run?[br]- Oh, God.

01:55:43.38,01:55:46.17
I am so in the wrong.

01:55:46.25,01:55:48.30
A classic fool.

01:55:48.38,01:55:51.55
Yes, but you've also made a fool out of me.

01:55:51.63,01:55:54.47
You've made the life I lead foolish, too.

01:55:56.89,01:55:59.85
Darling. Ooh, darlings!

01:55:59.93,01:56:03.10
Oh, you were wonderful.

01:56:03.19,01:56:06.19
My little lobster, you were so...

01:56:06.27,01:56:08.57
What is that word?

01:56:08.65,01:56:10.86
Orange.

01:56:10.95,01:56:13.99
Come on, I've got treats at home.[br]Dad's coming.

01:56:15.49,01:56:20.21
Sammy! Fantastic show![br]Classic drumming, son.

01:56:20.29,01:56:24.33
- Thanks. Plan didn't work, though.[br]- Tell her, then.

01:56:24.42,01:56:26.29
- Tell her what?[br]- That you love her.

01:56:26.38,01:56:29.30
No way. Anyway, they fly tonight.

01:56:29.38,01:56:34.72
Even better. Sam, you've got nothing to lose[br]and you'll always regret it if you don't.

01:56:36.30,01:56:38.52
I never told your mum enough.

01:56:38.60,01:56:43.02
I should have told her every day[br]because she was perfect every day.

01:56:44.19,01:56:48.44
You've seen the films, kiddo.[br]It ain't over till it's over.

01:56:50.44,01:56:55.16
OK, Dad. Let's do it. Let's go get the shit[br]kicked out of us by love.

01:56:55.24,01:56:57.53
Yes.

01:56:57.62,01:56:59.91
- Just give me one sec.[br]- Yeah.

01:57:01.50,01:57:04.33
- Oh, I'm sorry.[br]- Sorry.

01:57:04.42,01:57:06.54
That's OK.

01:57:06.63,01:57:10.05
- My fault.[br]- No, no, really, it wasn't.

01:57:10.13,01:57:13.01
You're Sam's dad, aren't you?

01:57:13.09,01:57:15.97
Yeah. Stepdad, actually.

01:57:16.05,01:57:18.85
- Daniel.[br]- I'm Carol.

01:57:18.93,01:57:20.68
Carol.

01:57:20.77,01:57:25.15
- OK, I'm back. Let's go.[br]- Yeah. Well...

01:57:26.56,01:57:28.86
I hope we'll meet again, Karen.

01:57:28.94,01:57:31.15
Carol.

01:57:32.53,01:57:37.12
- I'll make sure we do.[br]- Yeah? Good.

01:57:45.00,01:57:47.04
- Tell her.[br]- What?

01:57:47.13,01:57:50.13
- You know...[br]- Don't be such an arse.

01:57:53.80,01:57:55.88
- Look, there she is.[br]- Where?

01:57:55.97,01:57:58.22
Over there.

01:58:00.10,01:58:02.10
Oh, no.

01:58:03.22,01:58:06.19
It's OK, we'll go to the airport.[br]I know a short cut.

01:58:21.41,01:58:23.50
 Good evening.

01:58:23.58,01:58:26.58
- Senhor Barros?[br]- Sim.

01:58:26.67,01:58:30.34
I am here to ask your daughter

01:58:30.42,01:58:32.34
for her hands in marriage.

01:58:32.42,01:58:34.63
You want to marry my daughter?

01:58:34.71,01:58:36.59
Yes.

01:58:36.68,01:58:38.09
Come here,

01:58:38.18,01:58:39.68
there is a man at the door.

01:58:41.30,01:58:43.47
He wants to marry you.

01:58:43.56,01:58:44.89
But I've never seen him before.

01:58:44.97,01:58:46.35
Who cares?

01:58:46.43,01:58:48.65
You're going to sell me[br]to a complete stranger?

01:58:48.73,01:58:51.73
Sell? Who said sell? I'll pay him.

01:58:51.82,01:58:56.53
Pardon me. I'm meaning[br]your other daughter - Aurelia.

01:58:56.61,01:59:00.32
She's not here - she's at work. I'll take you.

01:59:00.41,01:59:01.87
You! Stay here.

01:59:01.95,01:59:04.87
As if I would. Stupid!

01:59:07.83,01:59:12.59
Father is about to sell Aurelia[br]as a slave to this Englishman.

01:59:16.42,01:59:18.47
Wait. Wait.

01:59:21.85,01:59:23.22
Oh, no.

01:59:24.76,01:59:26.60
You better not say yes, Father.

01:59:26.68,01:59:29.64
Shut up, Miss Dunkin' Donut 2003.

01:59:34.82,01:59:38.40
- Look, we're not actually flying.[br]- You can't come through.

01:59:38.49,01:59:42.87
Not even to let the boy say goodbye[br]to the love of his life?

01:59:44.62,01:59:46.54
No.

01:59:48.66,01:59:51.83
- I'm sorry, Sam.[br]- Boarding pass, sir?

01:59:51.92,01:59:55.46
Just a moment, I know I've got it.[br]Would you hang on to that?

01:59:55.55,01:59:57.55
- Unless...[br]- What?

01:59:57.63,02:00:00.18
- Do you want to make a run for it?[br]- Hold on to that.

02:00:00.26,02:00:02.76
- You think I should?[br]- Yeah.

02:00:03.43,02:00:06.51
- OK.[br]- Yes!

02:00:06.60,02:00:10.94
I must have left them[br]where I was having a cup of coffee.

02:01:23.80,02:01:26.39
Apparently he is going to kill Aurelia.

02:01:26.47,02:01:28.64
Cool!

02:02:02.92,02:02:04.97
Joanna.

02:02:06.05,02:02:08.09
Sam?

02:02:11.35,02:02:15.60
- I thought you didn't know my name.[br]- Course I do.

02:02:15.69,02:02:19.36
Oh, Jesus. Here, I've gotta run.

02:03:11.91,02:03:14.45
- Where is Aurelia?[br]- Why should I tell you?

02:03:14.54,02:03:16.54
This man wants to marry her.

02:03:16.62,02:03:19.33
He can't do that - she's our best waitress.

02:03:38.31,02:03:40.06
Boa noite, Aurelia.

02:03:41.65,02:03:43.69
Boa noite, Jamie.

02:03:59.04,02:04:02.00
Beautiful Aurelia...

02:04:02.08,02:04:06.25
I've come here with a view to asking you...

02:04:07.38,02:04:09.55
to marriage me.

02:04:10.93,02:04:15.72
I know I seems an insane person[br]because I hardly knows you

02:04:17.39,02:04:24.36
but sometimes things are so transparency,

02:04:25.69,02:04:29.07
they don't need evidential proof.

02:04:31.03,02:04:36.99
And I will inhabit here,[br]or you can inhabit with me in England.

02:04:37.08,02:04:39.58
Definitely go for England, girl.

02:04:39.66,02:04:42.92
You'll meet Prince William -[br]then you can marry him instead.

02:04:43.96,02:04:49.92
Of course I don't expecting you[br]to be as foolish as me,

02:04:50.84,02:04:55.51
and of course I prediction you say no...

02:04:56.64,02:05:04.52
but it's Christmas[br]and I just wanted to... check.

02:05:08.78,02:05:12.36
Oh, God - say yes, you skinny moron.

02:05:15.20,02:05:17.24
 Thank you.

02:05:19.08,02:05:21.12
That will be nice.

02:05:23.42,02:05:26.17
Yes is being my answer.

02:05:27.88,02:05:30.17
Easy question.

02:05:30.26,02:05:32.67
 What did you say?

02:05:32.76,02:05:34.09
Yes, of course.

02:05:36.89,02:05:39.18
Bravo!

02:06:04.58,02:06:06.71
 You learned English?

02:06:07.25,02:06:09.42
Just in cases.

02:06:43.04,02:06:45.83
"I may not always love you

02:06:46.83,02:06:50.29
"But long as there are stars above you..."

02:06:50.38,02:06:51.80
Hello, Daisy.

02:06:51.88,02:06:54.80
- This one's Greta.[br]- Hello, Greta.

02:06:54.88,02:06:57.22
"I'll make you so sure about it..."

02:06:57.30,02:07:01.30
Here she is. This is Aurelia.[br]This is Juliet. This is Peter.

02:07:01.39,02:07:04.52
- Mark, didn't see you there.[br]- Just thought I'd tag along.

02:07:04.60,02:07:07.52
Jamie's friends are so good-Iooking.

02:07:07.60,02:07:09.85
He never tells me this.

02:07:09.94,02:07:13.07
I think maybe now[br]I have made the wrong choice,

02:07:13.15,02:07:14.82
picked wrong Englishman.

02:07:14.90,02:07:17.07
She can't speak English properly.

02:07:17.99,02:07:20.12
 Dad! Dad!

02:07:22.33,02:07:23.91
Oh, God.

02:07:23.99,02:07:27.21
- Did you get us any presents?[br]- Matter of fact, I did.

02:07:27.29,02:07:29.71
 Thanks, Dad.

02:07:32.25,02:07:35.34
- How are you?[br]- I'm fine. I'm fine.

02:07:37.42,02:07:39.59
Good to have you back.

02:07:39.68,02:07:42.05
Come on. Home.

02:07:44.85,02:07:46.89
There she is.

02:07:48.31,02:07:52.06
- Hi.[br]- Hello.

02:07:52.15,02:07:56.15
- Aw, he should have kissed her.[br]- No, that's cool.

02:07:58.19,02:08:01.70
- All right?[br]- Hey. What are you two doing here?

02:08:01.78,02:08:04.28
- I might get a shag at last.[br]- Naughty.

02:08:04.37,02:08:07.79
- Got to go.[br]- Bye.

02:08:07.87,02:08:09.79
Yahoo!

02:08:12.92,02:08:15.34
Now, this is Harriet.

02:08:16.46,02:08:21.13
- Hi. Really pleased to meet you.[br]- Hello, Harriet.

02:08:21.22,02:08:25.10
I hope you don't mind,[br]I sort of brought my sister to stay.

02:08:26.85,02:08:31.27
This is Carla. She's real friendly.

02:08:31.35,02:08:33.65
Hello, you must be Tony.

02:08:35.52,02:08:37.61
I heard you were gorgeous.

02:08:37.69,02:08:40.49
"God only knows[br]what I'd be without you..."

02:08:42.53,02:08:46.20
"God only knows what I'd be without you

02:08:46.28,02:08:49.83
"God only knows[br]what I'd be without you..."

02:08:49.91,02:08:52.37
- God, you weigh a lot.[br]- Oh, shut your face.

02:08:53.58,02:08:57.63
"God only knows what I'd be without you[br]"God only knows

02:08:57.71,02:09:01.59
"God only knows what I'd be without you

02:09:01.68,02:09:05.51
"God only knows what I'd be without you[br]"God only knows

02:09:05.60,02:09:09.47
"God only knows what I'd be without you

02:09:09.56,02:09:13.69
"God only knows what I'd be without you[br]"God only knows

02:09:13.77,02:09:17.27
"God only knows what I'd be without you

02:09:17.36,02:09:21.49
"God only knows what I'd be without you[br]"God only knows

02:09:21.57,02:09:25.41
"God only knows what I'd be without you

02:09:25.49,02:09:29.37
"God only knows what I'd be without you[br]"God only knows

02:09:29.45,02:09:33.50
"God only knows what I'd be without you

02:09:33.58,02:09:37.34
"God only knows what I'd be without you[br]"God only knows

02:09:37.42,02:09:41.51
"God only knows what I'd be without you

02:09:41.59,02:09:45.22
"God only knows what I'd be without you[br]"God only knows

02:09:45.30,02:09:49.18
"God only knows what I'd be without you

02:09:49.26,02:09:53.10
"God only knows what I'd be without you[br]"God only knows

02:09:53.18,02:09:58.27
"God only knows what I'd be without you"

02:10:00.40,02:10:02.78
Ripped by: dj-oRi

02:10:17.21,02:10:20.71
"Love can be a many splendored thing

02:10:20.80,02:10:24.88
"Can't deny the joy it brings

02:10:24.97,02:10:28.35
"A dozen roses, diamond rings

02:10:28.43,02:10:32.56
"Dreams for sale and fairy tales

02:10:32.64,02:10:36.27
"It'll make you hear a symphony

02:10:36.35,02:10:40.19
"And you just want the world to see

02:10:40.27,02:10:43.90
"But like a drug that makes you blind

02:10:43.99,02:10:46.24
"It'll fool ya every time

02:10:46.32,02:10:49.78
"The trouble with love is

02:10:51.03,02:10:55.12
"It can tear you up inside

02:10:55.21,02:10:59.08
"Make your heart believe a lie

02:10:59.17,02:11:02.13
"It's stronger than your pride

02:11:02.21,02:11:06.47
"The trouble with love is

02:11:06.55,02:11:10.76
"It doesn't care how fast you fall

02:11:10.85,02:11:14.52
"And you can't refuse the call

02:11:14.60,02:11:17.64
"See you got no say at all

02:11:19.69,02:11:23.36
"Now I was once a fool, it's true

02:11:23.44,02:11:27.45
"I played the game by all the rules

02:11:27.53,02:11:30.82
"But now my world's a deeper blue

02:11:30.91,02:11:34.24
"I'm sadder but I'm wiser too

02:11:35.20,02:11:38.37
"I swore I'd never love again

02:11:39.17,02:11:42.63
"I swore my heart would never mend

02:11:43.25,02:11:46.55
"Said love wasn't worth the pain

02:11:46.63,02:11:49.30
"But then I hear it call my name

02:11:49.38,02:11:53.68
"The trouble with love is

02:11:53.76,02:11:57.73
"It can tear you up inside

02:11:57.81,02:12:01.60
"Make your heart believe a lie

02:12:01.69,02:12:04.82
"It's stronger than your pride

02:12:04.90,02:12:09.32
"The trouble with love is

02:12:09.40,02:12:13.58
"It doesn't care how fast you fall

02:12:13.66,02:12:17.16
"And you can't refuse the call

02:12:17.25,02:12:20.21
"See you got no say at all

02:12:22.96,02:12:25.71
"Every time I turn around

02:12:25.80,02:12:29.38
"I think I've got it all figured out

02:12:29.47,02:12:33.39
"My heart keeps calling[br]And I keep on falling

02:12:33.47,02:12:37.85
"Over and over again

02:12:37.93,02:12:41.94
"The sad story always ends the same

02:12:42.02,02:12:44.81
"Me standing in the pouring rain

02:12:45.77,02:12:48.78
"It seems no matter what I do

02:12:48.86,02:12:51.65
"It tears my heart in two

02:12:51.74,02:12:56.74
"The trouble with love is[br]"The trouble with love

02:12:56.83,02:13:00.50
"It can tear you up inside[br]"It can tear you up inside

02:13:00.58,02:13:05.09
"Make your heart believe a lie[br]"Make your heart believe a lie

02:13:05.17,02:13:07.46
"It's stronger than your pride

02:13:07.55,02:13:12.47
"The trouble with love is[br]"It's in your heart, it's in your soul

02:13:12.55,02:13:15.85
"It doesn't care how fast you fall[br]"You're losing that control

02:13:15.93,02:13:19.89
"And you can't refuse the call

02:13:19.97,02:13:22.98
"See you got no say at all

02:13:23.06,02:13:27.94
"The trouble with love is[br]"Ooh, yeah

02:13:28.02,02:13:32.20
"It can tear you up inside[br]"Ooh"

02:13:39.41,02:13:44.87
"Your eyes tell me how you want me

02:13:44.96,02:13:48.38
"I can feel it in your heartbeat

02:13:48.46,02:13:52.13
"You're so excited[br]I can feel you getting hotter

02:13:52.22,02:13:53.97
"Oh baby

02:13:54.05,02:13:58.68
"I'll take you down, I'll take you down

02:13:58.76,02:14:01.18
"Where no one's ever gone before

02:14:01.27,02:14:03.14
"And if you want more

02:14:03.23,02:14:07.31
"If you want more, more, more

02:14:07.40,02:14:10.98
"Then jump for my love

02:14:11.07,02:14:12.82
"Jump in

02:14:12.90,02:14:14.82
"And feel my touch

02:14:14.90,02:14:18.16
"Jump[br]"If you want to taste my kisses in the night

02:14:18.24,02:14:22.37
"Then jump for my love

02:14:22.45,02:14:25.37
"I know my heart[br]"I know my heart can make you happy

02:14:25.46,02:14:29.04
"Jump in[br]"You know these arms can fill you up

02:14:29.13,02:14:32.55
"Jump[br]"If you want to taste my kisses in the night

02:14:32.63,02:14:36.30
"Then jump for my love"