1 00:00:35,786 --> 00:00:37,412 This is your lunch, okay? 2 00:00:37,496 --> 00:00:39,580 Now, I put $1 in there so you can buy some milk. 3 00:00:39,665 --> 00:00:41,499 You can ask one of the big kids where to do that. 4 00:00:41,583 --> 00:00:44,168 Do you remember your phone number? I wrote it down for you, just in case. 5 00:00:44,253 --> 00:00:47,130 Put it in your pocket, I don't want you to lose it. 6 00:00:47,214 --> 00:00:49,757 Okay? You ready? 7 00:00:50,426 --> 00:00:51,801 I think so. 8 00:00:53,804 --> 00:00:55,763 It's Cady's big day. 9 00:00:56,682 --> 00:00:59,726 I guess it's natural for parents to cry on their kid's first day of school, 10 00:00:59,810 --> 00:01:02,562 but, you know, this usually happens when the kid is five. 11 00:01:02,646 --> 00:01:06,149 I'm 16 and until today, I was home-schooled. 12 00:01:06,233 --> 00:01:09,235 I know what you're thinking. "Home-schooled kids are freaks." 13 00:01:09,319 --> 00:01:13,865 X-Y-L-O-C-A-R-P. Xylocarp. 14 00:01:14,199 --> 00:01:16,868 Or that we're weirdly religious or something. 15 00:01:16,952 --> 00:01:21,497 And on the third day, God created the Remington bolt-action rifle 16 00:01:21,582 --> 00:01:24,041 so that man could fight the dinosaurs 17 00:01:24,126 --> 00:01:25,918 and the homosexuals. 18 00:01:26,003 --> 00:01:27,545 -Amen. -Amen. 19 00:01:27,629 --> 00:01:29,172 But my family's totally normal. 20 00:01:29,256 --> 00:01:32,091 Except for the fact that both my parents are research zoologists 21 00:01:32,176 --> 00:01:34,427 and we've spent the last 12 years in Africa. 22 00:01:34,511 --> 00:01:35,762 I had a great life. 23 00:01:35,846 --> 00:01:38,931 But then my mom got offered tenure at Northwestern University, 24 00:01:39,016 --> 00:01:42,560 so it was goodbye Africa and hello high school. 25 00:01:45,689 --> 00:01:48,232 I'm okay. Sorry. I'll be careful. 26 00:02:14,676 --> 00:02:16,010 Hi. 27 00:02:16,261 --> 00:02:18,137 I don't know if anyone told you about me. 28 00:02:18,222 --> 00:02:20,640 I'm a new student here. My name is Cady Heron. 29 00:02:20,724 --> 00:02:23,643 Talk to me again and I'll kick your ass. 30 00:02:28,065 --> 00:02:29,357 You don't wanna sit there. 31 00:02:29,441 --> 00:02:32,568 Kristen Hadley's boyfriend is gonna sit there. 32 00:02:32,986 --> 00:02:34,487 Hey, baby. 33 00:02:41,495 --> 00:02:43,246 He farts a lot. 34 00:02:52,256 --> 00:02:53,798 Hey, everybody. 35 00:02:54,424 --> 00:02:56,509 Oh, God, I'm so sorry. 36 00:02:57,928 --> 00:03:00,429 It's not you. I'm bad luck. 37 00:03:05,435 --> 00:03:06,894 Ms. Norbury? 38 00:03:07,604 --> 00:03:09,146 My T-shirt's stuck to my sweater, isn't it? 39 00:03:09,231 --> 00:03:11,190 -Yeah. -Fantastic. 40 00:03:11,275 --> 00:03:12,692 Is everything all right in here? 41 00:03:12,776 --> 00:03:17,113 -Yeah. -So, how was your summer? 42 00:03:17,197 --> 00:03:18,865 I got divorced. 43 00:03:20,033 --> 00:03:22,243 My carpal tunnel came back. 44 00:03:22,327 --> 00:03:24,620 -I win. -Yes, you do. 45 00:03:25,914 --> 00:03:29,709 Well, I just wanted to let everyone know that we have a new student joining us. 46 00:03:29,793 --> 00:03:32,336 She just moved here all the way from Africa. 47 00:03:32,421 --> 00:03:34,005 Welcome. 48 00:03:34,756 --> 00:03:37,133 -I'm from Michigan. -Great. 49 00:03:38,510 --> 00:03:40,595 Her name is Cady. Cady Heron. 50 00:03:40,679 --> 00:03:42,346 -Where are you, Cady? -That's me. 51 00:03:42,431 --> 00:03:45,057 -It's pronounced like Katie. -My apologies. 52 00:03:45,142 --> 00:03:46,934 I have a nephew named Anfernee, 53 00:03:47,019 --> 00:03:49,478 and I know how mad he gets when I call him Anthony. 54 00:03:49,563 --> 00:03:51,397 Almost as mad as I get when I think about the fact 55 00:03:51,481 --> 00:03:53,816 that my sister named him Anfernee. 56 00:03:53,901 --> 00:03:55,693 Well, welcome, Cady. 57 00:03:55,777 --> 00:03:58,863 -And thank you, Mr. Duvall. -Well, thank you. 58 00:03:58,947 --> 00:04:03,659 And if you need anything or if you wanna talk to somebody... 59 00:04:03,744 --> 00:04:05,077 Thanks. 60 00:04:05,162 --> 00:04:08,915 Maybe some other time, when my shirt isn't see-through. 61 00:04:08,999 --> 00:04:10,333 Okay. 62 00:04:11,335 --> 00:04:13,669 Okay. Good day, everybody. 63 00:04:15,297 --> 00:04:17,590 The first day of school was a blur, 64 00:04:17,674 --> 00:04:19,967 a stressful, surreal blur. 65 00:04:20,719 --> 00:04:22,929 I got in trouble for the most random things. 66 00:04:23,013 --> 00:04:26,432 -Where are you going? -I have to go to the bathroom. 67 00:04:26,516 --> 00:04:28,225 You need the lavatory pass. 68 00:04:28,310 --> 00:04:30,937 Okay. Can I have the lavatory pass? 69 00:04:31,021 --> 00:04:32,939 Nice try. Have a seat. 70 00:04:33,023 --> 00:04:35,775 I had never lived in a world where adults didn't trust me, 71 00:04:35,859 --> 00:04:37,068 where they were always yelling at me. 72 00:04:37,152 --> 00:04:39,153 -Don't read ahead! -No green pen! 73 00:04:39,237 --> 00:04:40,321 No food in class! 74 00:04:40,405 --> 00:04:42,907 Stay in your assigned seat! 75 00:04:51,708 --> 00:04:53,334 I told you, I saw the whole thing. 76 00:04:53,418 --> 00:04:55,002 -Everything. -Did you see nipple? 77 00:04:55,087 --> 00:04:58,798 -It only counts if you saw a nipple. -That's true, dude. 78 00:04:58,882 --> 00:05:01,384 I had a lot of friends in Africa. 79 00:05:04,554 --> 00:05:05,721 What? 80 00:05:05,806 --> 00:05:08,099 But so far, none in Evanston. 81 00:05:22,906 --> 00:05:25,282 Hey. How was your first day? 82 00:05:38,922 --> 00:05:40,589 Is that your natural hair color? 83 00:05:40,674 --> 00:05:43,050 -Yeah. -It's gorgeous. 84 00:05:43,135 --> 00:05:44,677 Thank you. 85 00:05:44,761 --> 00:05:46,387 See, this is the color I want. 86 00:05:46,471 --> 00:05:49,890 This is Damian. He's almost too gay to function. 87 00:05:49,975 --> 00:05:52,226 -Nice to meet you. -Nice wig, Janis. 88 00:05:52,310 --> 00:05:54,895 -What's it made of? -Your mom's chest hair! 89 00:05:54,980 --> 00:05:57,314 -I'm Janis. -Hi, I'm Cady. 90 00:05:58,567 --> 00:06:01,277 Do you guys know where Room G14 is? 91 00:06:02,696 --> 00:06:05,197 "Health, Tuesday/Thursday, Room G14." 92 00:06:05,282 --> 00:06:07,825 I think that's in the back building. 93 00:06:07,909 --> 00:06:11,037 -Yeah, that's in the back building. -Yeah, we'll take you there. 94 00:06:11,121 --> 00:06:12,621 Thanks. 95 00:06:13,623 --> 00:06:16,625 Watch out, please! New meat coming through! 96 00:06:17,794 --> 00:06:19,920 Health. Spanish. 97 00:06:20,797 --> 00:06:22,882 You're taking 12th-grade calculus? 98 00:06:22,966 --> 00:06:25,593 -Yeah, I like math. -Why? 99 00:06:26,219 --> 00:06:28,721 Because it's the same in every country. 100 00:06:28,805 --> 00:06:31,432 That's beautiful. This girl is deep. 101 00:06:32,100 --> 00:06:34,435 Where's the back building? 102 00:06:34,519 --> 00:06:36,520 It burned down in 1987. 103 00:06:36,980 --> 00:06:39,398 Won't we get in some sort of trouble for this? 104 00:06:39,483 --> 00:06:41,275 Why would we get you into trouble? 105 00:06:41,359 --> 00:06:43,110 We're your friends. 106 00:06:43,695 --> 00:06:47,198 I know it's wrong to skip class, but Janis said we were friends, 107 00:06:47,282 --> 00:06:50,117 and I was in no position to pass up friends. 108 00:06:50,202 --> 00:06:53,537 I guess I'll never know what I missed on that first day of health class. 109 00:06:53,622 --> 00:06:57,166 Don't have sex, because you will get pregnant and die. 110 00:06:57,709 --> 00:06:59,335 Don't have sex in the missionary position. 111 00:06:59,419 --> 00:07:01,796 Don't have sex standing up. 112 00:07:01,880 --> 00:07:04,131 Just don't do it, promise? 113 00:07:04,841 --> 00:07:06,801 Okay, everybody take some rubbers. 114 00:07:06,885 --> 00:07:08,803 Why didn't they just keep home-schooling you? 115 00:07:08,887 --> 00:07:10,930 They wanted me to get socialized. 116 00:07:11,014 --> 00:07:13,766 You'll get socialized, all right. A little slice like you. 117 00:07:13,850 --> 00:07:17,186 -What are you talking about? -You're a regulation hottie. 118 00:07:17,270 --> 00:07:19,146 -What? -Own it. 119 00:07:19,231 --> 00:07:20,815 How do you spell your name again, Cady? 120 00:07:20,899 --> 00:07:23,067 It's Cady. C-A-D-Y. 121 00:07:23,652 --> 00:07:25,528 Yeah, I'm gonna call you Cady. 122 00:07:25,612 --> 00:07:27,154 In the name of all that is holy, 123 00:07:27,239 --> 00:07:29,573 will you look at Karen Smith's gym clothes? 124 00:07:29,658 --> 00:07:32,576 Of course all The Plastics are in the same gym class. 125 00:07:32,661 --> 00:07:35,287 -Who are The Plastics? -They're teen royalty. 126 00:07:35,372 --> 00:07:38,791 If North Shore was Us Weekly, they would always be on the cover. 127 00:07:38,875 --> 00:07:40,459 That one there, that's Karen Smith. 128 00:07:40,544 --> 00:07:43,921 She is one of the dumbest girls you will ever meet. 129 00:07:44,673 --> 00:07:46,882 Damian sat next to her in English last year. 130 00:07:46,967 --> 00:07:49,593 She asked me how to spell "orange." 131 00:07:49,678 --> 00:07:52,596 And that little one? That's Gretchen Wieners. 132 00:07:52,681 --> 00:07:55,432 She's totally rich because her dad invented Toaster Strudel. 133 00:07:55,517 --> 00:07:57,309 Gretchen Wieners knows everybody's business. 134 00:07:57,394 --> 00:07:59,145 She knows everything about everyone. 135 00:07:59,229 --> 00:08:02,606 That's why her hair is so big. It's full of secrets. 136 00:08:03,191 --> 00:08:06,485 And evil takes a human form in Regina George. 137 00:08:06,570 --> 00:08:10,531 Don't be fooled, because she may seem like your typical selfish, back-stabbing, 138 00:08:10,615 --> 00:08:12,116 slut-faced ho-bag. 139 00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:15,828 But in reality, she is so much more than that. 140 00:08:15,912 --> 00:08:17,288 She's the queen bee. 141 00:08:17,372 --> 00:08:20,040 The star. Those other two are just her little workers. 142 00:08:20,125 --> 00:08:21,834 Regina George. 143 00:08:21,918 --> 00:08:24,670 How do I even begin to explain Regina George? 144 00:08:24,754 --> 00:08:26,630 Regina George is flawless. 145 00:08:26,715 --> 00:08:29,008 She has two Fendi purses and a silver Lexus. 146 00:08:29,092 --> 00:08:31,218 I hear her hair's insured for $10,000. 147 00:08:31,303 --> 00:08:34,388 I hear she does car commercials in Japan. 148 00:08:34,472 --> 00:08:36,265 Her favorite movie is Varsity Blues. 149 00:08:36,349 --> 00:08:38,434 One time, she met John Stamos on a plane. 150 00:08:38,518 --> 00:08:39,894 And he told her she was pretty. 151 00:08:39,978 --> 00:08:42,354 One time, she punched me in the face. 152 00:08:42,439 --> 00:08:43,898 It was awesome. 153 00:08:43,982 --> 00:08:47,318 She always looks fierce. She always wins Spring Fling Queen. 154 00:08:47,402 --> 00:08:49,445 -Who cares? -I care. 155 00:08:49,529 --> 00:08:51,572 Every year, the seniors throw this dance for the underclassmen 156 00:08:51,656 --> 00:08:53,199 called The Spring Fling. 157 00:08:53,283 --> 00:08:55,534 And whomsoever is elected Spring Fling King and Queen 158 00:08:55,619 --> 00:08:57,578 automatically becomes head of the Student Activities Committee. 159 00:08:57,662 --> 00:09:00,539 And since I am an active member of the Student Activities Committee, 160 00:09:00,624 --> 00:09:02,833 I would say, yeah, I care. 161 00:09:02,918 --> 00:09:06,170 Wow, Damian, you've truly out-gayed yourself. 162 00:09:07,797 --> 00:09:11,050 Here. This map is gonna be your guide to North Shore. 163 00:09:11,134 --> 00:09:13,802 Now, where you sit in the cafeteria is crucial 164 00:09:13,887 --> 00:09:15,221 because you got everybody there. 165 00:09:15,305 --> 00:09:17,973 You got your freshmen, ROTC guys, 166 00:09:18,058 --> 00:09:20,476 preps, J.V. jocks, 167 00:09:21,311 --> 00:09:22,895 Asian nerds, 168 00:09:23,939 --> 00:09:25,898 cool Asians, 169 00:09:25,982 --> 00:09:27,900 varsity jocks, 170 00:09:27,984 --> 00:09:30,319 unfriendly black hotties, 171 00:09:30,403 --> 00:09:32,738 girls who eat their feelings, 172 00:09:32,822 --> 00:09:34,865 girls who don't eat anything, 173 00:09:34,950 --> 00:09:36,825 desperate wannabes, 174 00:09:36,910 --> 00:09:38,244 burnouts, 175 00:09:38,328 --> 00:09:40,621 sexually active band geeks, 176 00:09:40,705 --> 00:09:44,458 the greatest people you will ever meet and the worst. 177 00:09:44,542 --> 00:09:46,585 Beware of The Plastics. 178 00:09:49,297 --> 00:09:51,882 Hey. We're doing a lunchtime survey of new students. 179 00:09:51,967 --> 00:09:53,467 Can you answer a few questions? 180 00:09:53,551 --> 00:09:55,928 -Okay. -Is your muffin buttered? 181 00:09:57,013 --> 00:09:58,430 What? 182 00:09:59,474 --> 00:10:02,768 Would you like us to assign someone to butter your muffin? 183 00:10:02,852 --> 00:10:05,145 -My what? -Is he bothering you? 184 00:10:05,230 --> 00:10:07,106 Jason, why are you such a skeez? 185 00:10:07,190 --> 00:10:09,275 I'm just being friendly. 186 00:10:09,359 --> 00:10:10,943 You were supposed to call me last night. 187 00:10:11,027 --> 00:10:14,321 Jason. You do not come to a party at my house with Gretchen 188 00:10:14,406 --> 00:10:17,950 and then scam on some poor, innocent girl right in front of us three days later. 189 00:10:18,034 --> 00:10:19,660 She's not interested. 190 00:10:19,744 --> 00:10:21,787 Do you wanna have sex with him? 191 00:10:21,871 --> 00:10:24,915 -No, thank you. -Good. So it's settled. 192 00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:27,126 So you can go shave your back now. 193 00:10:27,210 --> 00:10:28,794 Bye, Jason. 194 00:10:28,878 --> 00:10:30,170 Bitch. 195 00:10:30,922 --> 00:10:33,090 Wait. Sit down. 196 00:10:35,093 --> 00:10:37,052 Seriously, sit down. 197 00:10:40,098 --> 00:10:41,807 Why don't I know you? 198 00:10:41,891 --> 00:10:44,476 I'm new. I just moved here from Africa. 199 00:10:44,561 --> 00:10:47,187 -What? -I used to be home-schooled. 200 00:10:47,272 --> 00:10:48,772 Wait. What? 201 00:10:48,857 --> 00:10:50,316 -My mom taught me at home... -No, no. 202 00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:52,401 I know what home-school is. I'm not retarded. 203 00:10:52,485 --> 00:10:56,155 So you've actually never been to a real school before? 204 00:10:56,239 --> 00:10:57,823 Shut up. 205 00:10:58,616 --> 00:11:00,075 Shut up. 206 00:11:00,744 --> 00:11:03,162 -I didn't say anything. -Home-schooled. 207 00:11:03,246 --> 00:11:05,706 -That's really interesting. -Thanks. 208 00:11:05,790 --> 00:11:07,416 But you're, like, really pretty. 209 00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:09,835 -Thank you. -So you agree. 210 00:11:09,919 --> 00:11:12,212 -What? -You think you're really pretty. 211 00:11:12,297 --> 00:11:15,174 -I don't know... -Oh, my God, I love your bracelet. 212 00:11:15,258 --> 00:11:18,135 -Where did you get it? -My mom made it for me. 213 00:11:18,219 --> 00:11:20,846 -It's adorable. -It's so fetch. 214 00:11:20,930 --> 00:11:24,683 -What is "fetch"? -It's, like, slang from England. 215 00:11:24,768 --> 00:11:27,811 So if you're from Africa, why are you white? 216 00:11:28,605 --> 00:11:31,899 Oh, my God, Karen, you can't just ask people why they're white. 217 00:11:31,983 --> 00:11:34,526 Could you give us some privacy for, like, one second? 218 00:11:34,611 --> 00:11:36,195 Yeah, sure. 219 00:11:37,489 --> 00:11:39,448 What are you doing? 220 00:11:42,827 --> 00:11:44,912 Okay, you should just know that we don't do this a lot, 221 00:11:44,996 --> 00:11:47,039 so this is, like, a really huge deal. 222 00:11:47,123 --> 00:11:49,291 We wanna invite you to have lunch with us 223 00:11:49,376 --> 00:11:51,168 every day for the rest of the week. 224 00:11:51,252 --> 00:11:53,045 -It's okay... -Coolness. 225 00:11:53,129 --> 00:11:54,922 So we'll see you tomorrow. 226 00:11:55,006 --> 00:11:56,965 On Wednesdays, we wear pink. 227 00:11:57,050 --> 00:11:59,843 Oh, my God! Okay, you have to do it, okay? 228 00:11:59,928 --> 00:12:02,471 And then you have to tell me all the horrible things that Regina says. 229 00:12:02,555 --> 00:12:04,640 Regina seems sweet. 230 00:12:04,724 --> 00:12:06,225 Regina George is not sweet. 231 00:12:06,309 --> 00:12:09,311 She's a scum-sucking road whore! She ruined my life! 232 00:12:09,396 --> 00:12:10,646 She's fabulous, but she's evil. 233 00:12:10,730 --> 00:12:12,815 -Hey, get out of here! -Oh, my God, Danny DeVito. 234 00:12:12,899 --> 00:12:14,608 I love your work! 235 00:12:15,193 --> 00:12:17,194 -Why do you hate her? -What do you mean? 236 00:12:17,278 --> 00:12:19,321 Regina. You seem to really hate her. 237 00:12:19,406 --> 00:12:20,989 Yes. What's your question? 238 00:12:21,074 --> 00:12:23,492 -Well, my question is, why? -Regina started this rumor 239 00:12:23,576 --> 00:12:26,578 -that Janis was... -Damian! Shall we not? 240 00:12:26,663 --> 00:12:28,455 Now, look, this isn't about hating her, okay? 241 00:12:28,540 --> 00:12:30,499 I just think that it would be, like, a fun little experiment 242 00:12:30,583 --> 00:12:33,293 if you were to hang out with them and then tell us everything that they say. 243 00:12:33,378 --> 00:12:35,546 -What do we even talk about? -Hair products. 244 00:12:35,630 --> 00:12:37,423 -Ashton Kutcher. -Is that a band? 245 00:12:37,507 --> 00:12:39,883 Would you just do it? Please? 246 00:12:40,844 --> 00:12:43,220 Okay, fine. Do you have anything pink? 247 00:12:43,304 --> 00:12:44,680 -Yes. -No. 248 00:12:45,640 --> 00:12:48,434 By eighth period, I was so happy to get to math class. 249 00:12:48,518 --> 00:12:50,978 I mean, I'm good at math. I understand math. 250 00:12:51,062 --> 00:12:53,397 Nothing in math class could mess me up. 251 00:12:53,481 --> 00:12:56,442 Hey, do you have a pencil I can borrow? 252 00:12:57,610 --> 00:12:59,820 I've only had one other crush in my life. 253 00:12:59,904 --> 00:13:01,572 His name was Nfume, and we were five. 254 00:13:01,656 --> 00:13:03,866 I like you. 255 00:13:03,950 --> 00:13:05,617 Go away! 256 00:13:05,994 --> 00:13:07,786 It didn't work out. 257 00:13:08,538 --> 00:13:10,789 But this one hit me like a big, yellow school bus. 258 00:13:10,874 --> 00:13:13,125 -Cady, what do you say? -He was... 259 00:13:13,209 --> 00:13:14,877 ...so cute. 260 00:13:16,337 --> 00:13:20,048 I mean, A-sub-N equals N plus one over four. 261 00:13:20,717 --> 00:13:22,342 That's right. 262 00:13:22,427 --> 00:13:24,470 That's good. Very good. 263 00:13:24,554 --> 00:13:27,389 All right, let's talk about your homework. 264 00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:30,684 Hey. How was your second day? 265 00:13:31,060 --> 00:13:33,103 -Fine. -Were people nice? 266 00:13:33,396 --> 00:13:35,939 -No. -Did you make any friends? 267 00:13:36,024 --> 00:13:37,232 Yeah. 268 00:13:39,903 --> 00:13:42,571 Having lunch with The Plastics was like leaving the actual world 269 00:13:42,655 --> 00:13:44,198 and entering Girl World. 270 00:13:44,282 --> 00:13:46,450 And Girl World had a lot of rules. 271 00:13:46,534 --> 00:13:48,535 You can't wear a tank top two days in a row, 272 00:13:48,620 --> 00:13:51,788 and you can only wear your hair in a ponytail once a week. 273 00:13:51,873 --> 00:13:54,166 So I guess you picked today. 274 00:13:54,667 --> 00:13:57,669 And we only wear jeans or track pants on Fridays. 275 00:13:57,754 --> 00:14:01,173 Now, if you break any of these rules, you can't sit with us at lunch. 276 00:14:01,257 --> 00:14:03,550 Well, I mean, not just you. Like, any of us. 277 00:14:03,635 --> 00:14:05,594 Okay, like, if I was wearing jeans today, 278 00:14:05,678 --> 00:14:08,931 I would be sitting over there with the art freaks. 279 00:14:10,308 --> 00:14:12,643 And we always vote before we ask someone to eat lunch with us, 280 00:14:12,727 --> 00:14:15,646 because you have to be considerate of the rest of the group. 281 00:14:15,730 --> 00:14:17,856 I mean, you wouldn't buy a skirt without asking your friends first 282 00:14:17,941 --> 00:14:20,359 -if it looks good on you. -I wouldn't? 283 00:14:20,443 --> 00:14:22,528 Right. And it's the same with guys. 284 00:14:22,612 --> 00:14:26,615 Like, you may think you like someone, but you could be wrong. 285 00:14:27,075 --> 00:14:30,452 120 calories and 48 calories from fat. What percent is that? 286 00:14:31,454 --> 00:14:32,704 Forty-eight into 120? 287 00:14:32,789 --> 00:14:35,165 I'm only eating foods with less than 30% calories from fat. 288 00:14:35,250 --> 00:14:37,125 It's 40%. 289 00:14:37,210 --> 00:14:40,629 Well, 48 over 120 equals X over 100, 290 00:14:40,713 --> 00:14:43,924 and then you cross-multiply and get the value of X. 291 00:14:44,008 --> 00:14:46,760 Whatever. I'm getting cheese fries. 292 00:14:48,680 --> 00:14:52,099 So have you seen any guys that you think are cute yet? 293 00:14:52,183 --> 00:14:54,059 Well, there's this guy in my calculus class... 294 00:14:54,143 --> 00:14:56,061 -Who is it? -It's a senior? 295 00:14:56,145 --> 00:14:58,564 -His name's Aaron Samuels. -No! 296 00:14:58,648 --> 00:15:00,941 Oh, no, you can't like Aaron Samuels. 297 00:15:01,025 --> 00:15:02,901 That's Regina's ex-boyfriend. 298 00:15:02,986 --> 00:15:04,236 They went out for a year. 299 00:15:04,320 --> 00:15:07,531 Yeah, and then she was devastated when he broke up with her last summer. 300 00:15:07,615 --> 00:15:09,366 I thought she dumped him for Shane Oman. 301 00:15:09,450 --> 00:15:12,661 Okay, irregardless. Ex-boyfriends are just off-limits to friends. 302 00:15:12,745 --> 00:15:16,039 I mean, that's just, like, the rules of feminism. 303 00:15:16,124 --> 00:15:19,459 Don't worry. I'll never tell Regina what you said. 304 00:15:20,211 --> 00:15:22,421 It'll be our little secret. 305 00:15:23,590 --> 00:15:27,259 We define the sum of the infinite geometric series... 306 00:15:27,343 --> 00:15:29,344 Even though I wasn't allowed to like Aaron, 307 00:15:29,429 --> 00:15:32,055 I was still allowed to look at him. 308 00:15:33,224 --> 00:15:35,225 And think about him. 309 00:15:36,936 --> 00:15:38,562 And talk to him. 310 00:15:39,022 --> 00:15:41,940 -Hey... -Hey, you're the Africa girl, right? 311 00:15:42,025 --> 00:15:43,525 -Yeah. -I'm Kevin Gnapoor, 312 00:15:43,610 --> 00:15:45,444 captain of the North Shore Mathletes. 313 00:15:45,528 --> 00:15:46,945 We participate in math challenges 314 00:15:47,030 --> 00:15:48,655 against other high schools around the state, 315 00:15:48,740 --> 00:15:51,199 and we can get twice as much funding if we've got a girl. 316 00:15:51,284 --> 00:15:52,909 So you should think about joining. 317 00:15:52,994 --> 00:15:55,912 -You'd be perfect for it. -Yeah, definitely. 318 00:15:55,997 --> 00:15:58,707 Great, great. Let me give you my card. 319 00:16:00,668 --> 00:16:03,128 Okay. So think it over, 320 00:16:03,796 --> 00:16:06,256 because we'd like to get jackets. 321 00:16:06,883 --> 00:16:08,216 Okay. 322 00:16:20,563 --> 00:16:21,563 Hey. 323 00:16:24,108 --> 00:16:26,693 Get in, loser. We're going shopping. 324 00:16:26,778 --> 00:16:29,029 Regina's like the Barbie doll I never had. 325 00:16:29,113 --> 00:16:31,782 I'd never seen anybody so glamorous. 326 00:16:34,243 --> 00:16:37,079 -So how do you like North Shore? -It's good. 327 00:16:37,163 --> 00:16:38,664 I think I'm joining the Mathletes. 328 00:16:38,748 --> 00:16:39,998 -No! No, no. -No, no. 329 00:16:40,083 --> 00:16:42,834 You cannot do that. That is social suicide. 330 00:16:42,919 --> 00:16:46,171 Damn, you are so lucky you have us to guide you. 331 00:16:56,307 --> 00:16:59,851 Being at Old Orchard Mall kind of reminded me of being home in Africa, 332 00:16:59,936 --> 00:17:03,313 by the watering hole when the animals are in heat. 333 00:17:11,698 --> 00:17:13,031 Oh, my God, there's Jason! 334 00:17:13,116 --> 00:17:15,367 Where? There he is. 335 00:17:17,578 --> 00:17:19,871 -And he's with Taylor Wedell. -I heard they're going out. 336 00:17:19,956 --> 00:17:22,708 Wait. Jason's not going out with Taylor. 337 00:17:22,792 --> 00:17:25,293 No. He cannot blow you off like that. 338 00:17:25,378 --> 00:17:28,422 He's such a little skeez. Give me your phone. 339 00:17:29,674 --> 00:17:32,259 -You're not gonna call him, right? -Do you think I'm an idiot? 340 00:17:32,343 --> 00:17:33,635 No. 341 00:17:36,597 --> 00:17:39,015 -Wedell on South Boulevard. -Caller ID. 342 00:17:39,100 --> 00:17:41,101 Not when you connect from Information. 343 00:17:41,185 --> 00:17:42,310 -Hello? -Hello. 344 00:17:42,395 --> 00:17:43,979 May I please speak to Taylor Wedell? 345 00:17:44,063 --> 00:17:45,605 She's not home yet. Who's calling? 346 00:17:45,690 --> 00:17:47,899 This is Susan from Planned Parenthood. 347 00:17:47,984 --> 00:17:49,317 I have her test results. 348 00:17:49,402 --> 00:17:51,737 If you can have her give me a call as soon as she can. 349 00:17:51,821 --> 00:17:53,864 It's urgent. Thank you. 350 00:17:55,366 --> 00:17:57,242 She's not going out with anyone. 351 00:17:57,326 --> 00:17:59,619 Okay, that was so fetch. 352 00:18:07,336 --> 00:18:08,628 Mom. 353 00:18:21,225 --> 00:18:23,643 Wow, your house is really nice. 354 00:18:23,728 --> 00:18:25,437 I know, right? 355 00:18:25,855 --> 00:18:27,564 Make sure you check out her mom's boob job. 356 00:18:27,648 --> 00:18:29,608 They're hard as rocks. 357 00:18:31,360 --> 00:18:33,612 I'm home! Hey, Kylie. 358 00:18:34,071 --> 00:18:35,363 Hey. 359 00:18:37,033 --> 00:18:40,494 Hey, hey, hey! How are my best girlfriends? 360 00:18:40,578 --> 00:18:43,038 Hey, Mrs. George. This is Cady. 361 00:18:43,122 --> 00:18:44,748 Hello, sweetheart. 362 00:18:45,625 --> 00:18:47,709 -Hi. -Welcome to our home. 363 00:18:51,130 --> 00:18:54,925 Just want you to know, if you need anything, don't be shy, okay? 364 00:18:55,009 --> 00:18:58,011 There are no rules in this house. I'm not like a regular mom. 365 00:18:58,095 --> 00:19:00,806 I'm a cool mom. Right, Regina? 366 00:19:00,890 --> 00:19:02,557 -Please stop talking. -Okay. 367 00:19:02,642 --> 00:19:05,685 I'm gonna make you girls a "hump day" treat. 368 00:19:11,108 --> 00:19:12,901 This is your room? 369 00:19:12,985 --> 00:19:16,238 It was my parents' room, but I made them trade me. 370 00:19:17,073 --> 00:19:19,074 Hey, put on 98.8. 371 00:19:24,372 --> 00:19:27,499 Cady, do you even know who sings this? 372 00:19:27,583 --> 00:19:29,668 -The Spice Girls? -I love her. 373 00:19:29,752 --> 00:19:30,919 She's like a Martian. 374 00:19:31,003 --> 00:19:34,631 -God, my hips are huge! -Oh, please. I hate my calves. 375 00:19:34,715 --> 00:19:37,551 At least you guys can wear halters. I've got man shoulders. 376 00:19:37,635 --> 00:19:40,011 I used to think there was just fat and skinny. 377 00:19:40,096 --> 00:19:42,806 Apparently, there's a lot of things that can be wrong on your body. 378 00:19:42,890 --> 00:19:45,684 -My hairline is so weird. -My pores are huge. 379 00:19:45,768 --> 00:19:47,602 My nail beds suck. 380 00:19:50,606 --> 00:19:53,441 I have really bad breath in the morning. 381 00:19:54,694 --> 00:19:58,029 Hey, you guys. Happy hour is from 4:00 to 6:00! 382 00:19:59,907 --> 00:20:01,283 Thanks. 383 00:20:02,493 --> 00:20:04,411 Is there alcohol in this? 384 00:20:04,495 --> 00:20:07,914 Oh, God, honey, no. What kind of mother do you think I am? 385 00:20:07,999 --> 00:20:09,374 Why? Do you want a little bit? 386 00:20:09,458 --> 00:20:11,668 'Cause if you're gonna drink, I'd rather you do it in the house. 387 00:20:11,752 --> 00:20:13,378 -No, thank you. -Okay. 388 00:20:13,462 --> 00:20:17,215 So, you guys, what is the 411? 389 00:20:17,967 --> 00:20:20,802 What has everybody been up to? 390 00:20:20,887 --> 00:20:23,930 What is the hot gossip? Tell me everything. 391 00:20:24,015 --> 00:20:26,391 What are you guys listening to? What's the cool jams? 392 00:20:26,475 --> 00:20:27,809 Mom. 393 00:20:27,935 --> 00:20:30,437 -Could you go fix your hair? -Okay. 394 00:20:30,521 --> 00:20:33,982 You girls keep me young. I love you so much. 395 00:20:36,652 --> 00:20:38,987 Oh, my God, I remember this. 396 00:20:39,071 --> 00:20:42,365 -I haven't looked at that in forever. -Come check it out, Cady. 397 00:20:42,450 --> 00:20:43,867 It's our Burn Book. 398 00:20:43,951 --> 00:20:45,911 See, we cut out girls' pictures from the yearbook, 399 00:20:45,995 --> 00:20:48,038 and then we wrote comments. 400 00:20:48,122 --> 00:20:51,374 -"Trang Pak is a grotsky little byotch." -Still true. 401 00:20:51,459 --> 00:20:54,961 -"Dawn Schweitzer is a fat virgin." -Still half true. 402 00:20:56,464 --> 00:21:00,091 "Amber D'Alessio." She made out with a hot dog. 403 00:21:00,176 --> 00:21:02,177 "Janis Ian, dyke." 404 00:21:02,970 --> 00:21:05,639 -Who is that? -I think that's that kid Damian. 405 00:21:05,723 --> 00:21:08,516 Yeah. He's almost too gay to function. 406 00:21:08,601 --> 00:21:11,269 That's funny. Put that in there. 407 00:21:11,437 --> 00:21:14,522 Oh, no. Maybe that was only okay when Janis said it. 408 00:21:15,650 --> 00:21:17,525 And they have this Burn Book where they write mean things 409 00:21:17,610 --> 00:21:20,946 -about all the girls in our grade. -What does it say about me? 410 00:21:21,030 --> 00:21:23,740 -You're not in it. -Those bitches. 411 00:21:23,824 --> 00:21:27,327 -Will this minimize my pores? -No. Cady, you gotta steal that book. 412 00:21:27,411 --> 00:21:29,245 -No way! -Oh, come on. We could publish it, 413 00:21:29,330 --> 00:21:31,915 and then everybody would see what an ax-wound she really is. 414 00:21:31,999 --> 00:21:34,793 -I don't steal. -That is for your feet. 415 00:21:34,877 --> 00:21:38,046 Cady, there are two kinds of evil people. 416 00:21:38,130 --> 00:21:39,673 People who do evil stuff, 417 00:21:39,757 --> 00:21:43,593 and people who see evil stuff being done and don't try to stop it. 418 00:21:43,678 --> 00:21:47,722 Does that mean I'm morally obligated to burn that lady's outfit? 419 00:21:48,557 --> 00:21:49,975 Oh, my God, that's Ms. Norbury. 420 00:21:50,059 --> 00:21:51,643 I love seeing teachers outside of school. 421 00:21:51,727 --> 00:21:54,270 It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs. 422 00:21:55,564 --> 00:21:57,107 Hey, guys, what's up? I didn't know you worked here. 423 00:21:57,191 --> 00:21:59,985 Yeah, moderately-priced soaps are my calling. 424 00:22:00,069 --> 00:22:03,446 -You shopping? -No, I'm just here with my boyfriend. 425 00:22:05,741 --> 00:22:08,994 Joking. Sometimes older people make jokes. 426 00:22:09,078 --> 00:22:11,746 My nana takes her wig off when she's drunk. 427 00:22:11,831 --> 00:22:14,040 Your nana and I have that in common. 428 00:22:14,125 --> 00:22:16,960 No, actually, I'm just here because I bartend a couple nights a week 429 00:22:17,044 --> 00:22:19,212 down at P.J. Calamity's. 430 00:22:19,797 --> 00:22:21,548 Cady, I hope you do join Mathletes, you know, 431 00:22:21,632 --> 00:22:23,008 because we start in a couple weeks 432 00:22:23,092 --> 00:22:24,718 and I would love to have a girl on the team, 433 00:22:24,802 --> 00:22:27,679 just, you know, so the team could meet a girl. 434 00:22:27,763 --> 00:22:29,848 -I think I'm gonna do it. -Great. 435 00:22:29,932 --> 00:22:32,308 You can't join Mathletes. It's social suicide. 436 00:22:32,393 --> 00:22:33,935 Thanks, Damian. 437 00:22:34,979 --> 00:22:38,565 Well, this has been sufficiently awkward, 438 00:22:38,649 --> 00:22:40,692 and I'll see you guys tomorrow. 439 00:22:40,776 --> 00:22:42,527 -Bye. -Bye. 440 00:22:42,611 --> 00:22:44,946 Oh, man, that is bleak. 441 00:22:45,948 --> 00:22:48,199 So when are you gonna see Regina again? 442 00:22:48,284 --> 00:22:50,285 I can't spy on her anymore. It's weird. 443 00:22:50,369 --> 00:22:54,706 Come on, she's never gonna find out. It'll be like our little secret. 444 00:22:57,543 --> 00:22:59,210 -Hello? -I know your secret. 445 00:22:59,295 --> 00:23:00,420 Oh, God, busted. 446 00:23:00,504 --> 00:23:03,131 Just start apologizing and crying. No, play it cool. 447 00:23:03,215 --> 00:23:04,799 Secret? What are you saying about? 448 00:23:04,884 --> 00:23:07,260 Gretchen told me that you like Aaron Samuels. 449 00:23:07,344 --> 00:23:09,679 I mean, I don't care. Do whatever you want, 450 00:23:09,764 --> 00:23:12,223 but let me just tell you something about Aaron. 451 00:23:12,308 --> 00:23:16,019 All he cares about is school and his mom and his friends. 452 00:23:16,812 --> 00:23:18,938 -Is that bad? -But if you like him... 453 00:23:19,023 --> 00:23:22,567 Whatever. I mean, I could talk to him for you if you want. 454 00:23:22,651 --> 00:23:24,027 Really? You would do that? 455 00:23:24,111 --> 00:23:25,653 I mean, nothing embarrassing, though, right? 456 00:23:25,738 --> 00:23:28,656 Oh, no, trust me. I know exactly how to play it. 457 00:23:28,741 --> 00:23:32,202 But wait. Aren't you so mad at Gretchen for telling me? 458 00:23:32,995 --> 00:23:34,454 -No. -Because if you are, 459 00:23:34,538 --> 00:23:37,874 you can tell me. It was a really bitchy thing for her to do. 460 00:23:37,958 --> 00:23:41,044 Yeah, it was pretty bitchy, but I'm not mad. 461 00:23:41,128 --> 00:23:42,587 I mean, I guess she just likes the attention. 462 00:23:42,671 --> 00:23:44,255 See, Gretch? I told you she's not mad at you. 463 00:23:44,340 --> 00:23:45,965 I can't believe you think I like attention! 464 00:23:46,050 --> 00:23:48,510 Okay, love you. See you tomorrow. 465 00:23:49,553 --> 00:23:52,097 I had survived my first three-way calling attack. 466 00:23:52,181 --> 00:23:55,350 And with Regina's blessing, I started talking to Aaron more and more. 467 00:23:56,018 --> 00:23:58,603 On October third, he asked me what day it was. 468 00:23:58,687 --> 00:24:00,438 It's October third. 469 00:24:00,523 --> 00:24:02,357 Two weeks later, we spoke again. 470 00:24:02,441 --> 00:24:05,151 -It's raining. -Yeah. 471 00:24:06,028 --> 00:24:10,073 But I wanted things to move faster, so I followed my instincts. 472 00:24:10,825 --> 00:24:13,660 Hey, I'm totally lost. Can you help me? 473 00:24:13,744 --> 00:24:14,828 -But I wasn't lost. -Yeah. 474 00:24:14,912 --> 00:24:16,871 I knew exactly what Ms. Norbury was talking about. 475 00:24:16,956 --> 00:24:20,250 It's a factorial, so you multiply each one by N. 476 00:24:20,334 --> 00:24:21,376 Wrong. 477 00:24:21,460 --> 00:24:23,378 Is that the summation? 478 00:24:24,505 --> 00:24:25,964 Yeah, they're the same thing. 479 00:24:26,048 --> 00:24:27,841 Wrong. He was so wrong. 480 00:24:27,925 --> 00:24:30,385 Thanks. I... I get it now. 481 00:24:31,011 --> 00:24:32,220 Lights, please. 482 00:24:32,304 --> 00:24:34,722 Okay. See you guys tomorrow. 483 00:24:36,976 --> 00:24:39,978 We're having a Halloween party at my friend Chris' tonight. 484 00:24:40,062 --> 00:24:42,230 Do you wanna come? 485 00:24:42,314 --> 00:24:43,982 Yeah, sure. 486 00:24:44,066 --> 00:24:46,442 Great. Here's where it is. 487 00:24:46,527 --> 00:24:49,070 It's a costume party. People get pretty into it. 488 00:24:49,155 --> 00:24:50,697 Okay. 489 00:24:50,781 --> 00:24:55,785 That flyer admits one person only, so don't bring some other guy with you. 490 00:24:56,620 --> 00:24:57,954 Grool. 491 00:24:59,039 --> 00:25:01,374 I meant to say "cool" and then I started to say "great." 492 00:25:01,458 --> 00:25:04,294 Right. Well, grool. 493 00:25:05,462 --> 00:25:07,088 See you tonight. 494 00:25:09,175 --> 00:25:12,677 Hey, Africa. You staying for the Mathletes meeting? 495 00:25:12,761 --> 00:25:14,762 Yeah, I'll be right back. 496 00:25:16,140 --> 00:25:17,223 Okay, I lied, 497 00:25:17,308 --> 00:25:20,435 but I had to go home and work on my costume. 498 00:25:20,519 --> 00:25:23,730 In the regular world, Halloween is when children dress up in costumes 499 00:25:23,814 --> 00:25:25,356 and beg for candy. 500 00:25:25,441 --> 00:25:27,984 In Girl World, Halloween is the one night a year 501 00:25:28,068 --> 00:25:29,736 when a girl can dress like a total slut 502 00:25:29,820 --> 00:25:31,863 and no other girls can say anything about it. 503 00:25:31,947 --> 00:25:35,575 The hard-core girls just wear lingerie and some form of animal ears. 504 00:25:35,659 --> 00:25:38,203 Doesn't she look great, honey? 505 00:25:39,997 --> 00:25:42,415 -What are you? -I'm a mouse. 506 00:25:44,001 --> 00:25:46,920 Unfortunately, no one told me about the slut rule, 507 00:25:47,004 --> 00:25:49,088 so I showed up like this. 508 00:25:55,721 --> 00:25:56,971 Hey. 509 00:25:59,350 --> 00:26:01,351 Yes! Yes! 510 00:26:06,982 --> 00:26:08,233 Hey. 511 00:26:08,817 --> 00:26:10,902 Why are you dressed so scary? 512 00:26:10,986 --> 00:26:12,528 It's Halloween. 513 00:26:12,613 --> 00:26:14,572 Have you seen Jason? 514 00:26:14,657 --> 00:26:16,950 You know who's looking fine tonight? 515 00:26:17,034 --> 00:26:19,077 Seth Mosakowski. 516 00:26:19,161 --> 00:26:23,164 -Okay, you did not just say that. -What? He's a good kisser. 517 00:26:23,249 --> 00:26:24,749 He's your cousin. 518 00:26:24,833 --> 00:26:27,085 Yeah, but he's my first cousin. 519 00:26:27,169 --> 00:26:29,087 -Right. -So you have your cousins 520 00:26:29,171 --> 00:26:30,922 and then you have your first cousins, 521 00:26:31,006 --> 00:26:34,092 -then you have your second cousins... -No, honey. 522 00:26:34,176 --> 00:26:35,677 That's not right, is it? 523 00:26:35,761 --> 00:26:37,512 That is so not right. 524 00:26:37,596 --> 00:26:39,764 -Hey! -Hey. 525 00:26:39,848 --> 00:26:41,266 You made it, 526 00:26:41,350 --> 00:26:44,936 and you are a zombie bride. 527 00:26:45,604 --> 00:26:47,438 An "ex-wife." 528 00:26:47,523 --> 00:26:49,565 Love it. Can I get you something to drink? 529 00:26:49,650 --> 00:26:51,192 -Yeah. -Be right back. 530 00:26:51,277 --> 00:26:52,568 Thanks. 531 00:26:54,571 --> 00:26:56,489 Karen, stop it. 532 00:26:56,573 --> 00:26:58,783 -Don't, Karen... -Hey, Seth! 533 00:27:02,538 --> 00:27:03,746 Hey. 534 00:27:03,831 --> 00:27:05,832 Oh, no. 535 00:27:05,916 --> 00:27:07,250 Didn't anybody tell you? 536 00:27:07,334 --> 00:27:09,377 You were supposed to wear a costume. 537 00:27:09,461 --> 00:27:12,130 Shut up. I need to talk to you. 538 00:27:12,589 --> 00:27:15,049 -You know that girl Cady? -Yeah, she's cool. 539 00:27:15,134 --> 00:27:17,135 I invited her tonight. 540 00:27:17,761 --> 00:27:20,471 Well, be careful, because she has a huge crush on you. 541 00:27:20,556 --> 00:27:22,765 Really? How do you know? 542 00:27:23,434 --> 00:27:25,310 Because she told me. 543 00:27:25,394 --> 00:27:27,937 She tells everybody. It's kind of cute, actually. 544 00:27:28,022 --> 00:27:30,898 She's like a little girl. She, like, writes all over her notebook, 545 00:27:30,983 --> 00:27:32,608 "Mrs. Aaron Samuels." 546 00:27:32,693 --> 00:27:35,153 And she made this T-shirt that says, "I heart Aaron" 547 00:27:35,237 --> 00:27:36,946 and she wears it under all her clothes. 548 00:27:37,031 --> 00:27:39,490 -Oh, come on. -Well, who can blame her? 549 00:27:39,575 --> 00:27:41,743 I mean, you're gorgeous. 550 00:27:42,411 --> 00:27:45,371 And, okay, look, I'm not saying she's a stalker, 551 00:27:45,456 --> 00:27:48,041 but she saved this Kleenex you used 552 00:27:48,125 --> 00:27:51,669 and she said she's gonna do some kind of African voodoo with it 553 00:27:51,754 --> 00:27:53,713 to make you like her. 554 00:27:53,797 --> 00:27:55,089 What? 555 00:27:59,345 --> 00:28:00,428 This was it. 556 00:28:00,512 --> 00:28:03,139 Regina said she would talk to Aaron for me, and now she was. 557 00:28:03,223 --> 00:28:07,602 I know she's kind of socially retarded and weird, but she's my friend, 558 00:28:08,395 --> 00:28:11,064 so just promise me you won't make fun of her. 559 00:28:11,148 --> 00:28:13,191 Of course I'm not gonna make fun of her. 560 00:28:13,275 --> 00:28:15,109 How could Janis hate Regina? 561 00:28:15,194 --> 00:28:17,278 She was such a good... 562 00:28:18,364 --> 00:28:19,697 Slut! 563 00:28:26,121 --> 00:28:28,873 What are you doing? You broke up with me. 564 00:28:28,957 --> 00:28:31,667 That's crazy. Why would I break up with you? 565 00:28:31,752 --> 00:28:33,461 You're so hot. 566 00:28:40,969 --> 00:28:43,054 That's a scary mask, bro. 567 00:28:43,138 --> 00:28:44,889 I had never felt this feeling before. 568 00:28:44,973 --> 00:28:46,724 I could hear my heartbeat in my ears. 569 00:28:46,809 --> 00:28:49,060 My stomach felt like it was going to fall out my butt. 570 00:28:49,144 --> 00:28:52,355 I had this lump in my throat like after you dry-swallow a big pill. 571 00:28:52,439 --> 00:28:54,649 I hated Regina. I hated her! 572 00:29:11,333 --> 00:29:12,917 She took him back. 573 00:29:13,001 --> 00:29:14,961 Regina took Aaron back. 574 00:29:15,045 --> 00:29:18,131 -Oh, no, Cady. -Why would she do that? 575 00:29:18,215 --> 00:29:20,049 Because she's a life-ruiner. 576 00:29:20,134 --> 00:29:21,551 She ruins people's lives. 577 00:29:21,635 --> 00:29:24,095 When we were 13, she made people sign this petition 578 00:29:24,179 --> 00:29:26,347 -saying that Janis was... -Damian! Please! 579 00:29:26,432 --> 00:29:28,433 Look, she's not gonna get away with this again, okay? 580 00:29:28,517 --> 00:29:30,852 -We're gonna do something. -We are? 581 00:29:33,021 --> 00:29:35,440 Regina George is an evil dictator. 582 00:29:35,524 --> 00:29:37,733 Now, how do you overthrow a dictator? 583 00:29:37,818 --> 00:29:40,319 You cut off her resources. 584 00:29:40,404 --> 00:29:43,573 Regina would be nothing without her high-status man candy, 585 00:29:44,950 --> 00:29:46,367 technically good physique 586 00:29:47,911 --> 00:29:50,288 and ignorant band of loyal followers. 587 00:29:52,875 --> 00:29:55,585 Now, Cady, if we want this to work, 588 00:29:55,669 --> 00:29:58,296 you are gonna have to keep hanging out with them like nothing is wrong. 589 00:29:58,380 --> 00:30:00,298 Can you do it? 590 00:30:00,382 --> 00:30:01,466 I can do it. 591 00:30:01,550 --> 00:30:03,885 Okay, let's rock this bitch. 592 00:30:06,221 --> 00:30:09,390 Pretending like nothing was wrong turned out to be surprisingly easy. 593 00:30:09,475 --> 00:30:12,435 Regina wanted me to tell you that she was trying to hook you up with Aaron, 594 00:30:12,519 --> 00:30:15,021 but he was just interested in getting her back, 595 00:30:15,105 --> 00:30:16,439 and that's not Regina's fault. 596 00:30:16,523 --> 00:30:18,983 -No, I know. -Okay, so you're not mad at Regina? 597 00:30:19,067 --> 00:30:20,860 -God, no. -Okay, good. 598 00:30:20,944 --> 00:30:24,030 Because Regina wanted me to give you this. 599 00:30:28,118 --> 00:30:29,535 It's called the South Beach Fat Flush, 600 00:30:29,620 --> 00:30:32,121 and all you drink is cranberry juice for 72 hours. 601 00:30:32,206 --> 00:30:33,331 This isn't even cranberry juice. 602 00:30:33,415 --> 00:30:35,833 It's cranberry juice cocktail. It's all sugar. 603 00:30:35,918 --> 00:30:38,586 -I wanna lose 3 pounds. -You're crazy. 604 00:30:40,088 --> 00:30:43,841 Why do you wear your hair like that? Your hair looks so sexy pushed back. 605 00:30:43,926 --> 00:30:46,928 Cady, will you please tell him his hair looks sexy pushed back. 606 00:30:47,012 --> 00:30:49,555 Regina was dangling Aaron in front of me on purpose. 607 00:30:49,640 --> 00:30:53,100 I knew how this would be settled in the animal world. 608 00:31:01,944 --> 00:31:03,444 But this was Girl World. 609 00:31:03,529 --> 00:31:06,113 Your hair looks sexy pushed back. 610 00:31:06,907 --> 00:31:10,284 And in Girl World, all the fighting had to be sneaky. 611 00:31:11,537 --> 00:31:14,664 All this cranberry juice is making me break out. 612 00:31:15,499 --> 00:31:18,376 Wait. I have this really good skin stuff I'll bring you. 613 00:31:18,460 --> 00:31:19,585 Okay. 614 00:31:19,670 --> 00:31:23,005 We kept our eyes open for opportunities for sabotage. 615 00:31:29,471 --> 00:31:30,680 Regina. 616 00:31:31,473 --> 00:31:32,723 -Here you go. -Thank you. 617 00:31:37,479 --> 00:31:38,938 -Hey. -Hey. 618 00:31:43,485 --> 00:31:45,903 Your face smells like peppermint. 619 00:32:19,646 --> 00:32:21,522 This is ass, you guys. 620 00:32:21,607 --> 00:32:25,443 It's been a month, and all we've done is make Regina's face smell like a foot. 621 00:32:25,527 --> 00:32:26,861 I've been really busy with choir. 622 00:32:26,945 --> 00:32:28,613 We gotta crack Gretchen Wieners. 623 00:32:28,697 --> 00:32:30,615 We crack Gretchen, and then we crack the lock 624 00:32:30,699 --> 00:32:32,491 on Regina's whole dirty history. 625 00:32:32,576 --> 00:32:34,285 -Say "crack" again. -Crack. 626 00:32:34,369 --> 00:32:36,454 -All right, let's reconvene tonight. -I can't. 627 00:32:36,538 --> 00:32:39,123 I have to go to Regina's to practice for the talent show. 628 00:32:39,207 --> 00:32:40,875 We're doing a dance to this song... 629 00:32:40,959 --> 00:32:42,293 -Jingle Bell Rock. -Jingle Bell Rock. 630 00:32:42,377 --> 00:32:43,461 You guys know that song? 631 00:32:43,545 --> 00:32:46,339 Everybody in the English-speaking world knows that song. 632 00:32:46,423 --> 00:32:48,049 They do it every year. 633 00:32:48,133 --> 00:32:50,217 Well, I have to learn it. 634 00:32:50,302 --> 00:32:51,469 Go. 635 00:32:52,387 --> 00:32:55,306 -Hey. -Why were you talking to Janis Ian? 636 00:32:55,390 --> 00:32:56,932 I don't know. I mean, she's so weird. 637 00:32:57,017 --> 00:33:00,603 She just, you know, came up to me and started talking to me about crack. 638 00:33:00,687 --> 00:33:02,480 She's so pathetic. 639 00:33:02,564 --> 00:33:04,607 Let me tell you something about Janis Ian. 640 00:33:04,691 --> 00:33:06,651 We were best friends in middle school. 641 00:33:06,735 --> 00:33:08,736 I know, right? It's so embarrassing. 642 00:33:08,820 --> 00:33:10,905 I don't even... Whatever. 643 00:33:10,989 --> 00:33:13,949 So then in eighth grade, I started going out with my first boyfriend, Kyle, 644 00:33:14,034 --> 00:33:16,869 who was totally gorgeous, but then he moved to Indiana. 645 00:33:16,953 --> 00:33:19,330 And Janis was, like, weirdly jealous of him. 646 00:33:19,414 --> 00:33:21,832 Like, if I would blow her off to hang out with Kyle, 647 00:33:21,917 --> 00:33:23,959 she'd be like, "Why didn't you call me back?" 648 00:33:24,044 --> 00:33:27,129 And I'd be like, "Why are you so obsessed with me?" 649 00:33:27,214 --> 00:33:30,132 So then, for my birthday party, which was an all-girls pool party, 650 00:33:30,217 --> 00:33:34,345 I was like, "Janis, I can't invite you, because I think you're a lesbian." 651 00:33:34,429 --> 00:33:36,681 I mean, I couldn't have a lesbian at my party. 652 00:33:36,765 --> 00:33:39,141 There are gonna be girls there in their bathing suits. 653 00:33:39,226 --> 00:33:40,935 I mean, right? She was a lesbian. 654 00:33:41,019 --> 00:33:43,646 So then her mom called my mom and started yelling at her. 655 00:33:43,730 --> 00:33:45,189 It was so retarded. 656 00:33:45,273 --> 00:33:47,525 And then she dropped out of school because no one would talk to her. 657 00:33:47,609 --> 00:33:49,360 When she came back in the fall for high school, 658 00:33:49,444 --> 00:33:52,071 all of her hair was cut off and she was totally weird, 659 00:33:52,155 --> 00:33:54,532 and now I guess she's on crack. 660 00:33:54,991 --> 00:33:58,536 Oh, my God! I love your skirt. Where did you get it? 661 00:33:59,287 --> 00:34:01,205 It was my mom's in the '80s. 662 00:34:01,289 --> 00:34:03,582 Vintage. So adorable. 663 00:34:03,667 --> 00:34:04,959 Thanks. 664 00:34:05,919 --> 00:34:09,130 That is the ugliest F-ing skirt I've ever seen. 665 00:34:09,715 --> 00:34:13,217 Oh, my God, I love your bracelet. Where did you get it? 666 00:34:15,721 --> 00:34:17,430 So are you gonna send any candy canes? 667 00:34:17,514 --> 00:34:20,349 No. I don't send them. I just get them. 668 00:34:20,434 --> 00:34:22,893 So you better send me one, byotch. 669 00:34:22,978 --> 00:34:24,311 Love you. 670 00:34:25,230 --> 00:34:26,981 I was definitely sending her one. 671 00:34:27,065 --> 00:34:30,151 I was gonna use three candy canes to crack Gretchen Wieners. 672 00:34:30,235 --> 00:34:31,485 Three, please. 673 00:34:31,570 --> 00:34:35,239 "Why, man, he doth bestride the narrow world like a colossus" 674 00:34:35,323 --> 00:34:37,241 might translate into, 675 00:34:37,325 --> 00:34:39,952 "Why is he so huge and obnoxious?" 676 00:34:42,622 --> 00:34:45,916 -Candy-cane grams! -Okay, hurry up. 677 00:34:46,001 --> 00:34:48,335 Taylor Zimmerman? Two for you. 678 00:34:49,171 --> 00:34:50,421 Glenn Cocco? 679 00:34:50,505 --> 00:34:53,841 Four for you, Glenn Cocco. You go, Glenn Cocco. 680 00:34:54,509 --> 00:34:56,427 And Cady Heron. 681 00:34:56,511 --> 00:34:57,928 Do we have a Cady Heron here? 682 00:34:58,013 --> 00:35:00,598 -It's Cady. -Cady, here you go. 683 00:35:00,682 --> 00:35:03,893 One for you. And none for Gretchen Wieners. Bye. 684 00:35:06,521 --> 00:35:07,938 Who's that from? 685 00:35:08,023 --> 00:35:10,608 "Thanks for being such a great friend. Love, Regina." 686 00:35:10,692 --> 00:35:12,151 That's so sweet. 687 00:35:12,486 --> 00:35:14,987 Okay, back to Caesar. 688 00:35:15,489 --> 00:35:17,531 Once Gretchen thought Regina was mad at her, 689 00:35:17,616 --> 00:35:19,617 the secrets started pouring out. 690 00:35:19,701 --> 00:35:21,619 All I had to do was wait for one we could use. 691 00:35:21,703 --> 00:35:23,204 Thank you. 692 00:35:24,831 --> 00:35:28,125 Welcome to the North Shore High School winter talent show. 693 00:35:28,210 --> 00:35:30,628 Let me hear you make some noise. 694 00:35:35,801 --> 00:35:37,802 All right, settle down. 695 00:35:38,637 --> 00:35:42,056 Our first act calls himself a star on the rise. 696 00:35:42,140 --> 00:35:44,433 Let's hear it for Damian. 697 00:35:49,898 --> 00:35:51,565 Don't look at me. 698 00:35:53,026 --> 00:35:56,987 Every day is so wonderful... 699 00:35:57,489 --> 00:36:01,492 I mean, why would Regina send you guys candy canes and not me? 700 00:36:01,576 --> 00:36:03,244 Maybe she forgot about you. 701 00:36:03,328 --> 00:36:05,120 Yeah, Regina has been acting kind of weird lately. 702 00:36:05,205 --> 00:36:07,164 I mean, is something bothering her? 703 00:36:07,249 --> 00:36:10,626 Well, I mean, her parents totally don't sleep in the same bed anymore, 704 00:36:10,710 --> 00:36:12,837 if that's what you mean. 705 00:36:12,921 --> 00:36:15,005 Oh, my God. Don't tell her I told you that. 706 00:36:15,090 --> 00:36:20,010 I am beautiful in every single way 707 00:36:20,554 --> 00:36:24,849 Yes, words can't bring me down 708 00:36:25,475 --> 00:36:28,978 Don't you bring me down today... 709 00:36:29,062 --> 00:36:33,399 I mean, no offense, but why would she send you a candy cane? 710 00:36:33,483 --> 00:36:35,985 She doesn't even like you that much. 711 00:36:36,069 --> 00:36:37,278 Maybe she feels weird around me 712 00:36:37,362 --> 00:36:41,073 because I'm the only person that knows about her nose job. 713 00:36:41,491 --> 00:36:44,368 Oh, my God. Pretend you didn't hear that. 714 00:36:44,870 --> 00:36:46,370 Yo, yo, yo. 715 00:36:46,454 --> 00:36:50,457 All you sucker MCs Ain't got nothing on me 716 00:36:50,542 --> 00:36:52,668 From my grades to my lines You can't touch Kevin G 717 00:36:52,752 --> 00:36:54,795 I'm a Mathlete So nerd is inferred 718 00:36:54,880 --> 00:36:56,839 But forget what you heard I'm like James Bond the Third 719 00:36:56,923 --> 00:36:58,883 Shaken not stirred I'm Kevin Gnapoor 720 00:36:58,967 --> 00:37:01,051 The G is silent When I sneak in your door 721 00:37:01,136 --> 00:37:03,137 And make love to your woman On the bathroom floor 722 00:37:03,221 --> 00:37:05,514 I don't play it like Shaggy You'll know it was me 723 00:37:05,599 --> 00:37:08,726 Because the next time you see her She'll be like, "Kevin G!" 724 00:37:08,810 --> 00:37:10,895 Thank you, Kevin, that's enough. 725 00:37:10,979 --> 00:37:13,147 Happy holidays, everybody. 726 00:37:17,986 --> 00:37:20,195 K.G. and the Power of Three. 727 00:37:20,822 --> 00:37:22,615 That was something. 728 00:37:23,325 --> 00:37:25,951 Does it bother you that they still use your original choreography? 729 00:37:26,036 --> 00:37:27,411 Shut up. 730 00:37:27,495 --> 00:37:28,829 Damn. 731 00:37:29,372 --> 00:37:31,123 -What? -I'd rather see you out there 732 00:37:31,207 --> 00:37:33,000 shaking that thing. 733 00:37:35,211 --> 00:37:37,421 Gretchen, switch sides with Cady. 734 00:37:37,505 --> 00:37:38,881 But I'm always on your left. 735 00:37:38,965 --> 00:37:40,466 Well, that was when there were three of us, 736 00:37:40,550 --> 00:37:42,426 and now the tallest go in the middle. 737 00:37:42,510 --> 00:37:44,803 But the whole dance will be backwards. 738 00:37:44,888 --> 00:37:46,472 I'm always on your left. 739 00:37:46,556 --> 00:37:50,184 And right now you're getting on my last nerve. Switch. 740 00:37:51,144 --> 00:37:54,229 And, finally, please welcome to the stage 741 00:37:54,314 --> 00:37:57,274 Santa's Helpers doing Jingle Bell Rock. 742 00:38:44,990 --> 00:38:46,323 Jason? 743 00:38:53,081 --> 00:38:57,209 What a bright time It's the right time 744 00:38:57,293 --> 00:38:59,878 To rock the night away 745 00:39:00,714 --> 00:39:04,717 Jingle bell time is a swell time 746 00:39:05,301 --> 00:39:08,303 To go riding in a one-horse sleigh 747 00:39:09,139 --> 00:39:12,599 Giddyap jingle horse Pick up your feet 748 00:39:12,767 --> 00:39:16,228 Jingle around the clock 749 00:39:16,312 --> 00:39:20,065 Mix and mingle in a jingling beat 750 00:39:20,150 --> 00:39:21,859 That's the jingle bell 751 00:39:21,943 --> 00:39:23,694 That's the jingle bell 752 00:39:23,778 --> 00:39:27,114 That's the jingle bell rock 753 00:39:41,796 --> 00:39:43,088 That was the best it ever went! 754 00:39:43,173 --> 00:39:45,299 -That was awesome. -Lip gloss. 755 00:39:45,800 --> 00:39:48,385 -Hey, good job, Africa. -Thanks. 756 00:39:48,470 --> 00:39:50,387 Cady's blushing. Oh, my God. 757 00:39:50,472 --> 00:39:52,723 -You totally have a crush on that guy. -No, I don't. 758 00:39:52,807 --> 00:39:54,808 That's why you wanted to join the Mathletes. 759 00:39:54,893 --> 00:39:56,894 Mathletes? You hate math. 760 00:39:56,978 --> 00:39:58,687 Look how red she is. 761 00:39:58,772 --> 00:40:01,065 You love him, and he totally complimented you. 762 00:40:01,149 --> 00:40:02,816 That is so fetch. 763 00:40:03,068 --> 00:40:05,360 Gretchen, stop trying to make "fetch" happen. 764 00:40:05,445 --> 00:40:06,487 It's not going to happen. 765 00:40:12,660 --> 00:40:14,995 "Why should Caesar get to stomp around like a giant 766 00:40:15,080 --> 00:40:19,166 "while the rest of us try not to get smushed under his big feet? 767 00:40:19,250 --> 00:40:21,085 "What's so great about Caesar? 768 00:40:21,169 --> 00:40:22,920 "Brutus is just as cute as Caesar. 769 00:40:23,004 --> 00:40:24,671 "Okay, Brutus is just as smart as Caesar. 770 00:40:24,756 --> 00:40:27,091 "People totally like Brutus just as much as they like Caesar. 771 00:40:27,175 --> 00:40:28,634 "And when did it become okay for one person 772 00:40:28,718 --> 00:40:30,260 "to be the boss of everybody? 773 00:40:30,345 --> 00:40:31,929 "Because that's not what Rome is about! 774 00:40:32,013 --> 00:40:34,848 "We should totally just stab Caesar!" 775 00:40:36,851 --> 00:40:39,144 Gretchen Wieners had cracked. 776 00:40:39,979 --> 00:40:43,357 Okay, if you even knew how mean she really is... 777 00:40:44,150 --> 00:40:47,319 You know that I'm not allowed to wear hoop earrings, right? 778 00:40:47,403 --> 00:40:50,656 Yeah. Two years ago, she told me that hoop earrings were her thing 779 00:40:50,740 --> 00:40:52,699 and that I wasn't allowed to wear them anymore. 780 00:40:52,784 --> 00:40:54,785 And then for Hanukkah, my parents got me this pair 781 00:40:54,869 --> 00:40:57,663 of really expensive white-gold hoops. 782 00:40:58,039 --> 00:41:01,291 And I had to pretend like I didn't even like them, 783 00:41:01,376 --> 00:41:03,210 and it was so sad. 784 00:41:03,294 --> 00:41:04,837 And you know she cheats on Aaron? 785 00:41:04,921 --> 00:41:07,131 Yes. Every Thursday he thinks she's doing SAT prep, 786 00:41:07,215 --> 00:41:10,175 but really she's hooking up with Shane Oman in the projection room 787 00:41:10,260 --> 00:41:13,387 above the auditorium, and I never told anybody that, 788 00:41:13,471 --> 00:41:17,266 because I'm such a good friend. 789 00:41:20,603 --> 00:41:24,606 Jackpot. Gretchen's secret had put the plan back in motion. 790 00:41:24,691 --> 00:41:26,650 After Christmas break, we tried every Thursday 791 00:41:26,734 --> 00:41:29,528 to help Aaron catch Regina in the act. 792 00:42:00,268 --> 00:42:03,478 -Hey. -Hey, what's up? 793 00:42:03,563 --> 00:42:04,938 My purse! 794 00:42:05,940 --> 00:42:07,691 Looks like he's headed for the projection room 795 00:42:07,775 --> 00:42:09,651 above the auditorium! 796 00:42:19,162 --> 00:42:20,621 Coach Carr? 797 00:42:22,332 --> 00:42:24,208 Trang Pak? 798 00:42:24,292 --> 00:42:26,501 Guys, why did we think we could do this? We're amateurs. 799 00:42:26,586 --> 00:42:29,379 No, we just have to regroup. Think outside our box. 800 00:42:29,464 --> 00:42:31,298 What are Kälteen bars? 801 00:42:31,382 --> 00:42:33,342 They're these weird Swedish nutrition bars. 802 00:42:33,426 --> 00:42:37,971 My mom used to give them to the kids in Africa to help them gain weight. 803 00:42:40,225 --> 00:42:43,435 They're these weird nutrition bars my mom uses to lose weight. 804 00:42:43,519 --> 00:42:45,103 Give me it. 805 00:42:48,274 --> 00:42:50,901 It's all in, like, Swedish or something. 806 00:42:50,985 --> 00:42:53,278 Yeah, you know, there's some weird ingredient in them 807 00:42:53,363 --> 00:42:55,113 that's not legal in the U.S. yet. 808 00:42:55,198 --> 00:42:57,157 -Ephedrine? -No. 809 00:42:57,533 --> 00:42:59,493 -Phentermine. -No. 810 00:43:01,079 --> 00:43:04,164 It burns carbs. It just burns up all your carbs. 811 00:43:04,832 --> 00:43:07,251 I really wanna lose 3 pounds. 812 00:43:08,753 --> 00:43:09,753 Oh, my God, what are you talking about? 813 00:43:09,837 --> 00:43:12,047 -You're so skinny. -Shut up. 814 00:43:12,799 --> 00:43:13,840 Yes. 815 00:43:13,925 --> 00:43:15,509 The weird thing about hanging out with Regina 816 00:43:15,593 --> 00:43:17,261 was that I could hate her, and at the same time, 817 00:43:17,345 --> 00:43:18,845 I still wanted her to like me. 818 00:43:18,930 --> 00:43:21,431 Okay, you have really good eyebrows. 819 00:43:21,516 --> 00:43:23,558 -Thanks. -Move. 820 00:43:23,643 --> 00:43:24,726 Same with Gretchen. 821 00:43:24,811 --> 00:43:26,228 The meaner Regina was to her, 822 00:43:26,312 --> 00:43:28,647 the more Gretchen tried to win Regina back. 823 00:43:28,731 --> 00:43:30,524 She knew it was better to be in The Plastics, 824 00:43:30,608 --> 00:43:33,318 hating life, than to not be in at all. 825 00:43:33,403 --> 00:43:36,905 Because being with The Plastics was like being famous. 826 00:43:36,990 --> 00:43:38,323 People looked at you all the time, 827 00:43:38,408 --> 00:43:40,867 and everybody just knew stuff about you. 828 00:43:40,952 --> 00:43:43,036 That new girl moved here from Africa. 829 00:43:43,121 --> 00:43:45,747 I saw Cady Heron wearing Army pants and flip-flops, 830 00:43:45,832 --> 00:43:48,125 so I bought Army pants and flip-flops. 831 00:43:48,209 --> 00:43:50,377 That Cady girl is hot. 832 00:43:50,461 --> 00:43:52,254 She might even be hotter than Regina George. 833 00:43:52,338 --> 00:43:55,132 I hear Regina George is dating Aaron Samuels again. 834 00:43:55,216 --> 00:43:58,427 The two were seen canoodling at Chris Eisel's Halloween party. 835 00:43:58,511 --> 00:44:01,054 They've been inseparable ever since. 836 00:44:11,316 --> 00:44:12,899 I was a woman possessed. 837 00:44:12,984 --> 00:44:15,902 I spent about 80% of my time talking about Regina, 838 00:44:15,987 --> 00:44:17,237 and the other 20% of the time, 839 00:44:17,322 --> 00:44:18,989 I was praying for someone else to bring her up 840 00:44:19,073 --> 00:44:21,199 so I could talk about her more. 841 00:44:21,284 --> 00:44:23,535 She's not even that good-looking if you really look at her. 842 00:44:23,619 --> 00:44:25,537 I don't know. Now that she's getting fatter, 843 00:44:25,621 --> 00:44:27,289 she's got pretty big jugs. 844 00:44:27,373 --> 00:44:29,166 I could hear people getting bored with me, 845 00:44:29,250 --> 00:44:32,919 but I couldn't stop. It just kept coming up like word vomit. 846 00:44:33,004 --> 00:44:34,921 I have this theory that if you cut all her hair off, 847 00:44:35,006 --> 00:44:36,465 she'd look like a British man. 848 00:44:36,549 --> 00:44:39,426 Yeah, I know. You told me that one before. 849 00:44:40,136 --> 00:44:41,428 Hey, I'm having an art show. 850 00:44:41,512 --> 00:44:43,680 So you should take a night off from your double life. 851 00:44:43,765 --> 00:44:46,224 -I want you to see it. -Coolness. 852 00:44:47,852 --> 00:44:49,186 What is that smell? 853 00:44:49,270 --> 00:44:51,229 Regina gave me some perfume. 854 00:44:51,314 --> 00:44:53,648 You smell like a baby prostitute. 855 00:44:53,733 --> 00:44:55,025 Thanks. 856 00:44:56,110 --> 00:44:59,488 Meanwhile, I was finding any excuse I could to talk to Aaron. 857 00:44:59,572 --> 00:45:02,699 I don't get this. Do you get any of this? 858 00:45:02,784 --> 00:45:04,618 Nice job, Cady. 859 00:45:05,620 --> 00:45:07,954 Kind of seems like you get it. 860 00:45:08,039 --> 00:45:12,209 If I was gonna keep this going, I was gonna have to really commit. 861 00:45:13,503 --> 00:45:15,170 Not your best. 862 00:45:15,755 --> 00:45:17,964 Damn, Africa, what happened? 863 00:45:18,049 --> 00:45:20,801 -How'd you do? -Not so good. 864 00:45:20,885 --> 00:45:23,220 You know, I think I need a tutor. 865 00:45:23,304 --> 00:45:26,390 I'll tutor you, if you ever wanna get together after school or something. 866 00:45:26,474 --> 00:45:28,308 Do you think Regina would mind? 867 00:45:28,393 --> 00:45:30,477 No. You guys are friends. 868 00:45:32,647 --> 00:45:35,065 Well, maybe we just won't tell her. 869 00:45:35,149 --> 00:45:37,526 So, what did you get for this one? 870 00:45:37,610 --> 00:45:39,528 Well, the first time I did it, I got a zero. 871 00:45:39,612 --> 00:45:43,073 -Wrong. -But then when I checked it, I got one. 872 00:45:43,157 --> 00:45:44,282 There you go. 873 00:45:44,367 --> 00:45:45,992 I got one, too. 874 00:45:46,619 --> 00:45:49,246 Yeah, you have to check it because sometimes the product 875 00:45:49,330 --> 00:45:52,249 of two negative integers is a positive number. 876 00:45:52,333 --> 00:45:55,085 Yeah, like negative four and negative six. 877 00:45:55,169 --> 00:45:57,337 That's right. That's good. 878 00:45:58,047 --> 00:46:00,173 Well, you're a good tutor. 879 00:46:08,599 --> 00:46:12,352 Man, look, I... I can't do this. 880 00:46:13,146 --> 00:46:15,856 -It's not fair to Regina. -Why do you like her? 881 00:46:15,940 --> 00:46:18,525 Look, I know she can be really mean sometimes, but... 882 00:46:18,609 --> 00:46:21,319 -Then why do you like her? -Why do you? 883 00:46:21,404 --> 00:46:22,863 Look, there's good and bad to everybody. 884 00:46:22,947 --> 00:46:25,198 Right? Regina's just... 885 00:46:25,283 --> 00:46:26,700 She's just more up-front about it. 886 00:46:26,784 --> 00:46:28,243 Oh, no. It was coming up. 887 00:46:28,327 --> 00:46:30,162 The word vomit. I didn't mean to say it, but... 888 00:46:30,246 --> 00:46:32,497 She's cheating on you! 889 00:46:34,208 --> 00:46:35,667 What? 890 00:46:40,214 --> 00:46:41,840 Did he say why? 891 00:46:42,717 --> 00:46:45,093 Somebody told him about Shane Oman. 892 00:46:45,178 --> 00:46:46,219 Who? 893 00:46:46,304 --> 00:46:48,305 He said some guy on the baseball team. 894 00:46:48,389 --> 00:46:49,931 Baseball team? 895 00:46:50,475 --> 00:46:54,144 I gave him everything. I was half a virgin when I met him. 896 00:46:54,228 --> 00:46:56,646 You wanna do something fun? 897 00:46:56,731 --> 00:46:58,398 You wanna go to Taco Bell? 898 00:46:58,483 --> 00:47:01,943 I can't go to Taco Bell. I'm on an all-carb diet. 899 00:47:02,028 --> 00:47:04,237 God, Karen, you are so stupid! 900 00:47:04,822 --> 00:47:06,406 Regina, wait. Talk to me. 901 00:47:06,491 --> 00:47:09,618 -Nobody understands me. -I understand you. 902 00:47:10,244 --> 00:47:12,078 You're not stupid, Karen. 903 00:47:12,163 --> 00:47:13,997 No. I am, actually. 904 00:47:14,499 --> 00:47:16,666 I'm failing almost everything. 905 00:47:16,751 --> 00:47:20,003 Well, there must be something you're good at. 906 00:47:20,630 --> 00:47:22,589 I can put my whole fist in my mouth. 907 00:47:22,673 --> 00:47:23,840 Wanna see? 908 00:47:23,925 --> 00:47:26,009 No. That's okay. 909 00:47:26,093 --> 00:47:27,802 Anything else? 910 00:47:28,429 --> 00:47:30,180 I'm kind of psychic. 911 00:47:30,264 --> 00:47:32,182 I have a fifth sense. 912 00:47:32,975 --> 00:47:36,853 -What do you mean? -It's like I have ESPN or something. 913 00:47:36,938 --> 00:47:40,065 My breasts can always tell when it's gonna rain. 914 00:47:41,692 --> 00:47:44,027 Really? That's amazing. 915 00:47:45,112 --> 00:47:47,864 Well, they can tell when it's raining. 916 00:47:51,994 --> 00:47:53,954 I have to admit, I was mildly horrified 917 00:47:54,038 --> 00:47:56,498 when Aaron didn't immediately ask me to be his girlfriend. 918 00:47:56,582 --> 00:47:58,917 I mean, I know he was sad, but how much time did he need? 919 00:47:59,001 --> 00:48:00,293 Regina had moved on. 920 00:48:03,214 --> 00:48:07,092 Do you guys need anything? Some snacks? A condom? 921 00:48:07,677 --> 00:48:10,470 Let me know. Oh, God love you. 922 00:48:11,264 --> 00:48:13,181 But overall, the plan was going pretty well. 923 00:48:13,266 --> 00:48:15,475 Aaron had dumped Regina, and she was unknowingly 924 00:48:15,560 --> 00:48:17,644 eating 5,000 calories a day. 925 00:48:17,728 --> 00:48:19,479 It was time to turn our attention to the army of skanks. 926 00:48:21,274 --> 00:48:25,777 And finally, the nominees for Spring Fling Queen are as follows. 927 00:48:26,195 --> 00:48:27,779 Regina George. 928 00:48:29,865 --> 00:48:31,575 Gretchen Wieners. 929 00:48:33,995 --> 00:48:35,537 Janis Ian. 930 00:48:36,080 --> 00:48:38,415 What is happening to the world? 931 00:48:38,916 --> 00:48:40,417 And the final nominee... 932 00:48:40,501 --> 00:48:42,919 I couldn't help myself. It was so easy. 933 00:48:43,004 --> 00:48:44,796 ...is Cady Heron. 934 00:48:45,298 --> 00:48:47,799 Damian, you put me in there, too? That's not part of the plan. 935 00:48:47,883 --> 00:48:49,426 I didn't put you in there. 936 00:48:49,510 --> 00:48:52,012 You mean I'm really nominated? 937 00:48:55,850 --> 00:48:58,643 In January, Regina had put a Spring Fling dress on hold 938 00:48:58,728 --> 00:49:00,270 at a store called 1-3-5. 939 00:49:00,354 --> 00:49:02,314 But being Plastic, she needed our advice 940 00:49:02,398 --> 00:49:03,773 before she could actually buy it. 941 00:49:03,858 --> 00:49:06,026 Can someone zip me up? 942 00:49:08,404 --> 00:49:10,739 -It won't close. -It's a 5. 943 00:49:10,823 --> 00:49:13,033 Okay, it must be marked wrong. 944 00:49:13,117 --> 00:49:16,077 Cady, all I've been eating are these Kälteen bars. They suck. 945 00:49:16,162 --> 00:49:18,413 No, no, this is just how they work. 946 00:49:18,497 --> 00:49:20,040 This is all your water weight. 947 00:49:20,124 --> 00:49:23,209 First you bloat, and then you drop 10 pounds like that. 948 00:49:23,419 --> 00:49:25,629 Well, the Kälteen bars have burned up all your carbs, 949 00:49:25,713 --> 00:49:27,797 and now your body's just running on water. 950 00:49:27,882 --> 00:49:30,342 But once the water's gone, then you'll be all muscle. 951 00:49:30,426 --> 00:49:32,218 It explains it all on the label. 952 00:49:32,303 --> 00:49:33,970 You know Swedish? 953 00:49:34,055 --> 00:49:36,848 Yeah, everyone in Africa can read Swedish. 954 00:49:36,932 --> 00:49:39,142 Ma'am, do you have this in the next size up? 955 00:49:39,226 --> 00:49:42,270 Sorry. We only carry sizes 1, 3 and 5. 956 00:49:42,355 --> 00:49:44,147 You could try Sears. 957 00:49:55,618 --> 00:49:56,910 Cady. 958 00:49:57,370 --> 00:50:00,955 I need your parents to sign this so they know that you're failing. 959 00:50:01,040 --> 00:50:02,082 Failing? 960 00:50:02,166 --> 00:50:03,833 You know what's weird about your quizzes, Cady, 961 00:50:03,918 --> 00:50:07,796 is that all the work is right and just the answers are wrong. 962 00:50:07,880 --> 00:50:09,589 -Really? -Really. 963 00:50:10,383 --> 00:50:12,300 Cady, I know that having a boyfriend 964 00:50:12,385 --> 00:50:15,178 may seem like the most important thing in the world right now, 965 00:50:15,262 --> 00:50:18,181 but you don't have to dumb yourself down to get guys to like you. 966 00:50:18,265 --> 00:50:19,974 -How would you know? -I know, 967 00:50:20,059 --> 00:50:22,060 "How would I know," right? 968 00:50:22,144 --> 00:50:25,438 I'm divorced. I'm broke from getting divorced. 969 00:50:25,523 --> 00:50:28,983 The only guy that ever calls my house is Randy from Chase Visa. 970 00:50:29,068 --> 00:50:30,360 And you know why? 971 00:50:30,444 --> 00:50:33,196 Because I'm a pusher. I push people. 972 00:50:33,280 --> 00:50:36,157 I pushed my husband into law school. That was a bust. 973 00:50:36,242 --> 00:50:38,660 I pushed myself into working three jobs. 974 00:50:38,744 --> 00:50:40,245 And now I'm gonna push you, 975 00:50:40,329 --> 00:50:42,205 because I know you're smarter than this. 976 00:50:42,289 --> 00:50:43,373 Thanks, Ms. Norbury. 977 00:50:43,457 --> 00:50:46,209 And if there's anything I can do for extra credit, please let me know. 978 00:50:46,293 --> 00:50:47,711 I will. 979 00:50:48,170 --> 00:50:50,880 I hate her! I mean, she's totally failing me on purpose 980 00:50:50,965 --> 00:50:52,716 because I didn't join those stupid Mathletes! 981 00:50:52,800 --> 00:50:53,967 She was so queer. 982 00:50:54,051 --> 00:50:57,303 She was like, "I'm a pusher, Cady. I'm a pusher." 983 00:50:58,013 --> 00:50:59,222 What does that even mean? 984 00:50:59,306 --> 00:51:01,224 -Like a drug pusher? -Probably. 985 00:51:01,308 --> 00:51:02,976 She said she works three jobs. 986 00:51:03,060 --> 00:51:04,561 You know, I bet she sells drugs on the side 987 00:51:04,645 --> 00:51:06,187 to pay for her pathetic divorce. 988 00:51:06,272 --> 00:51:08,398 You let it out, honey. 989 00:51:08,482 --> 00:51:10,483 Put it in the book. 990 00:51:15,072 --> 00:51:17,323 I know it may look like I'd become a bitch, 991 00:51:17,408 --> 00:51:19,951 but that's only because I was acting like a bitch. 992 00:51:20,035 --> 00:51:22,662 Hey, I called you last night. How come you didn't call me back? 993 00:51:22,747 --> 00:51:24,914 I got busy. Sorry. 994 00:51:24,999 --> 00:51:28,042 So you need a ride to my art show this weekend? 995 00:51:28,127 --> 00:51:30,420 No. I have to go to Madison with my parents. 996 00:51:30,504 --> 00:51:32,213 I'm so sorry. 997 00:51:32,298 --> 00:51:33,965 Well, you wanna watch a movie tonight? 998 00:51:34,049 --> 00:51:37,260 Can't. I'm doing major Plastic sabotage tonight. 999 00:51:37,344 --> 00:51:39,971 But we don't have anything planned for tonight. 1000 00:51:40,055 --> 00:51:42,515 I planned this one on my own. 1001 00:51:42,600 --> 00:51:44,267 Love you. Bye. 1002 00:51:46,854 --> 00:51:48,021 Gretchen thinks you're mad at her 1003 00:51:48,105 --> 00:51:49,939 because she's running for Spring Fling Queen. 1004 00:51:50,024 --> 00:51:53,318 Oh, my God, I'm not mad at her. I'm worried about her. 1005 00:51:53,402 --> 00:51:55,528 I think somebody nominated her as a joke or something. 1006 00:51:55,613 --> 00:51:58,907 And when nobody votes for her, she's gonna have a total meltdown. 1007 00:51:58,991 --> 00:52:01,409 And who's gonna have to take care of her? Me. 1008 00:52:01,494 --> 00:52:04,454 So you don't think anyone will vote for her? 1009 00:52:04,997 --> 00:52:06,956 Cady, she's not pretty. 1010 00:52:07,041 --> 00:52:09,250 I mean, that sounds bad, but whatever. 1011 00:52:09,335 --> 00:52:11,461 The Spring Fling Queen is always pretty. 1012 00:52:11,545 --> 00:52:13,379 And the crazy thing is, is that it should be Karen, 1013 00:52:13,464 --> 00:52:16,591 but people forget about her because she's such a slut. 1014 00:52:16,675 --> 00:52:19,552 Anyway, I gotta go. I'm going to bed. 1015 00:52:21,806 --> 00:52:24,265 Well, she's not mad at you. 1016 00:52:24,350 --> 00:52:26,559 -Hold on. -Are you okay? 1017 00:52:34,443 --> 00:52:36,361 -Hello? -If someone said something bad 1018 00:52:36,445 --> 00:52:39,489 about you, you'd want me to tell you, right? 1019 00:52:39,573 --> 00:52:40,865 -No. -What if it was someone 1020 00:52:40,950 --> 00:52:42,575 you thought was your friend? 1021 00:52:42,660 --> 00:52:44,869 What are you... Hold on. Other line. 1022 00:52:44,954 --> 00:52:46,996 -I'm not taking this anymore. -Good for you, Gretch. 1023 00:52:47,081 --> 00:52:48,665 -Hello? -Let's go out. 1024 00:52:48,749 --> 00:52:50,834 Okay, hold on. I'm on the other line with Gretchen. 1025 00:52:50,918 --> 00:52:53,419 Don't invite Gretchen. She's driving me nuts. 1026 00:52:53,504 --> 00:52:55,630 -Hold on. -Okay, hurry up. 1027 00:52:56,340 --> 00:52:57,841 It's Regina. 1028 00:52:57,925 --> 00:53:00,593 She wants to hang out with me tonight, but she told me not to tell you. 1029 00:53:00,678 --> 00:53:02,512 Do not hang out with her. 1030 00:53:02,596 --> 00:53:05,348 -Why? -You don't want me to tell you. 1031 00:53:05,432 --> 00:53:07,600 You can tell me. Hold on. 1032 00:53:08,602 --> 00:53:11,020 Oh, my God, she's so annoying. 1033 00:53:11,105 --> 00:53:12,480 Who is? 1034 00:53:12,565 --> 00:53:14,774 -Who's this? -Gretchen. 1035 00:53:14,859 --> 00:53:16,526 Right. Hold on. 1036 00:53:18,445 --> 00:53:22,615 -Oh, my God, she's so annoying. -I know. Just get rid of her. 1037 00:53:24,660 --> 00:53:26,035 Okay, what is it? 1038 00:53:26,120 --> 00:53:29,622 Regina says everyone hates you because you're such a slut. 1039 00:53:29,707 --> 00:53:31,416 She said that? 1040 00:53:31,500 --> 00:53:33,793 You didn't hear it from me. 1041 00:53:34,503 --> 00:53:37,171 -Little harsh, Gretch. -Whatever. She has a right to know. 1042 00:53:37,256 --> 00:53:39,090 I can't go out. 1043 00:53:39,925 --> 00:53:41,467 I'm sick. 1044 00:53:41,552 --> 00:53:43,136 Boo. You whore. 1045 00:53:49,268 --> 00:53:52,228 Regina, we have to talk to you. 1046 00:53:52,813 --> 00:53:54,522 Is butter a carb? 1047 00:53:55,065 --> 00:53:58,818 -Yes. -Regina, you're wearing sweatpants. 1048 00:53:59,361 --> 00:54:01,154 It's Monday. 1049 00:54:01,238 --> 00:54:03,406 -So? -So that's against the rules, 1050 00:54:03,490 --> 00:54:05,408 and you can't sit with us. 1051 00:54:05,492 --> 00:54:08,036 Whatever. Those rules aren't real. 1052 00:54:08,746 --> 00:54:10,538 They were real that day I wore a vest. 1053 00:54:10,623 --> 00:54:14,334 -Because that vest was disgusting. -You can't sit with us! 1054 00:54:20,507 --> 00:54:23,843 These sweatpants are all that fits me right now. 1055 00:54:30,059 --> 00:54:31,434 Fine. 1056 00:54:31,518 --> 00:54:33,770 You can walk home, bitches. 1057 00:54:34,688 --> 00:54:37,357 Watch where you're going, fat-ass! 1058 00:54:44,949 --> 00:54:47,659 Gretchen and Karen followed me around all afternoon. 1059 00:54:47,743 --> 00:54:49,827 -So, what are we doing this weekend? -Yeah, what are we doing? 1060 00:54:49,912 --> 00:54:52,121 I have to go to Madison with my parents. 1061 00:54:52,206 --> 00:54:53,623 What... 1062 00:54:54,249 --> 00:54:56,125 We have tickets for this thing. 1063 00:54:56,210 --> 00:54:57,794 -What? -What? 1064 00:54:57,878 --> 00:55:00,004 Was I the new queen bee? 1065 00:55:01,590 --> 00:55:03,424 I can try and get out of it. 1066 00:55:03,509 --> 00:55:04,801 -Yeah. -Yeah. Yeah. 1067 00:55:04,885 --> 00:55:07,804 Because I told my friend Janis I'd go to her art show. 1068 00:55:07,888 --> 00:55:09,806 We've had these tickets for months. 1069 00:55:09,890 --> 00:55:12,141 You love Ladysmith Black Mambazo. 1070 00:55:12,226 --> 00:55:15,103 But she's my friend, and I made her a promise. 1071 00:55:15,187 --> 00:55:18,898 I think Cady's old enough to spend one night on her own. 1072 00:55:21,443 --> 00:55:24,612 I had learned how to control everyone around me. 1073 00:55:25,531 --> 00:55:28,783 Hey. I'm having a small get-together at my house tomorrow night. 1074 00:55:28,867 --> 00:55:31,786 -Is Regina going? -No. Do you think I'm an idiot? 1075 00:55:31,870 --> 00:55:35,498 No, it's just gonna be a few cool people, and you better be one of them, byotch. 1076 00:55:35,582 --> 00:55:37,583 -Fine, I'll go. -Shut up. 1077 00:55:37,668 --> 00:55:39,711 I love that shirt on you. 1078 00:55:45,300 --> 00:55:48,511 Aaron Samuels was going to be in my house at my party. 1079 00:55:48,595 --> 00:55:50,888 Everything had to be perfect. 1080 00:55:55,144 --> 00:55:56,769 And this time when Aaron saw me, 1081 00:55:56,854 --> 00:56:00,023 I wouldn't be caught in some ridiculous costume. 1082 00:56:00,107 --> 00:56:01,482 Hey, guys. 1083 00:56:02,776 --> 00:56:04,485 -You look awesome! -You look awesome! 1084 00:56:04,570 --> 00:56:06,404 I know, right? 1085 00:56:06,488 --> 00:56:08,448 Okay, so I got enough cheese and crackers for eight people. 1086 00:56:08,532 --> 00:56:10,366 Do you think that's enough? 1087 00:56:10,451 --> 00:56:12,160 -Yeah. -Yeah. Oh, yeah. 1088 00:56:12,244 --> 00:56:13,578 Okay. 1089 00:56:18,083 --> 00:56:19,292 It was not enough. 1090 00:56:19,376 --> 00:56:22,045 Somehow, the word had gotten out about my small get-together. 1091 00:56:22,129 --> 00:56:24,297 Jason is here with Taylor Wedell. 1092 00:56:24,381 --> 00:56:26,382 He's just using her to make you mad. 1093 00:56:26,467 --> 00:56:29,052 -Have you guys seen Aaron yet? -No. 1094 00:56:30,679 --> 00:56:33,514 Dude, put on the Ramayana Monkey Chant. 1095 00:56:42,399 --> 00:56:45,151 -Do I know you? -Deek! What up, dog? 1096 00:56:52,201 --> 00:56:54,410 She thinks she's gonna have a party and not invite me? 1097 00:56:54,495 --> 00:56:56,496 -Who does she think she is? -You're right, hon. 1098 00:56:56,580 --> 00:56:59,665 I like, invented her, you know what I mean? 1099 00:57:07,257 --> 00:57:08,466 Jason. 1100 00:57:09,510 --> 00:57:11,511 I have to talk to you. 1101 00:57:12,096 --> 00:57:13,429 Whatever. 1102 00:57:14,181 --> 00:57:16,766 -I love you. -I know, I know. 1103 00:57:19,478 --> 00:57:21,896 Hey! Put that down! 1104 00:57:28,153 --> 00:57:30,196 Was Aaron blowing me off? 1105 00:57:37,371 --> 00:57:39,997 What's up? Gretchen came to talk to me. 1106 00:57:40,082 --> 00:57:41,916 -Oh, no. -Look, 1107 00:57:42,000 --> 00:57:46,087 I don't wanna hurt your feelings, but I only date women of color. 1108 00:57:46,547 --> 00:57:48,214 I have to pee. 1109 00:58:00,936 --> 00:58:02,311 Get out. 1110 00:58:47,191 --> 00:58:48,357 -Hey. -Hey. 1111 00:58:48,442 --> 00:58:49,817 I've been looking for you everywhere. 1112 00:58:49,902 --> 00:58:51,360 Me, too. 1113 00:58:52,404 --> 00:58:54,780 Wow, you look... 1114 00:58:56,033 --> 00:58:58,117 -New clothes? -Thanks. 1115 00:58:59,620 --> 00:59:01,037 You wanna go downstairs? 1116 00:59:01,121 --> 00:59:03,289 No, no. Let's stay here. 1117 00:59:06,835 --> 00:59:08,502 Thanks for getting me to come out tonight. 1118 00:59:08,587 --> 00:59:09,754 Yeah, sure, no problem. 1119 00:59:09,838 --> 00:59:13,049 I've wasted too much time being pissed off at Regina. 1120 00:59:13,175 --> 00:59:14,634 No more liars. 1121 00:59:14,718 --> 00:59:16,552 I would never lie to you. 1122 00:59:16,637 --> 00:59:18,429 I know, I know. 1123 00:59:18,722 --> 00:59:20,223 Although... 1124 00:59:20,307 --> 00:59:22,725 Okay, listen. I mean, I did lie to you once, 1125 00:59:22,809 --> 00:59:25,102 but you're totally gonna laugh when I tell you, so... 1126 00:59:25,187 --> 00:59:26,854 Tell me what? 1127 00:59:28,232 --> 00:59:31,150 I pretended to be bad at math so that you'd help me. 1128 00:59:31,235 --> 00:59:34,403 But the thing is, I'm not really bad at math. 1129 00:59:34,488 --> 00:59:37,740 I'm actually really good at math. You're kind of bad at math. 1130 00:59:37,824 --> 00:59:40,409 Anyways, now I'm failing. Isn't that funny? 1131 00:59:40,494 --> 00:59:43,079 Wait. You're failing on purpose? That's stupid. 1132 00:59:43,163 --> 00:59:45,915 No. Not on purpose. Just, you know... 1133 00:59:45,999 --> 00:59:47,708 I just wanted a reason to talk to you. 1134 00:59:47,793 --> 00:59:49,543 So why didn't you just talk to me? 1135 00:59:49,628 --> 00:59:51,712 Well, because I couldn't. Because of Regina. 1136 00:59:51,797 --> 00:59:53,339 Because you were her property... 1137 00:59:53,423 --> 00:59:55,633 -Her property? -No. Shut up. Not her property... 1138 00:59:55,717 --> 00:59:57,426 No, don't tell me to shut up. 1139 00:59:57,511 --> 00:59:59,595 -I wasn't... -God, you know what? 1140 00:59:59,680 --> 01:00:02,223 You are just like a clone of Regina. 1141 01:00:02,307 --> 01:00:05,226 Oh, no, no, listen to me. You're not listening to me... 1142 01:00:05,310 --> 01:00:09,855 Oh, no. It was coming up again. Word vomit. No, wait a minute... 1143 01:00:09,940 --> 01:00:11,190 What is this? 1144 01:00:11,275 --> 01:00:12,733 Actual vomit. 1145 01:00:16,113 --> 01:00:17,613 Aaron! 1146 01:00:17,698 --> 01:00:19,824 Aaron, wait! Just... 1147 01:00:21,201 --> 01:00:23,828 Okay. Call me. 1148 01:00:28,625 --> 01:00:31,669 -Oh, God. -You dirty little liar. 1149 01:00:31,753 --> 01:00:33,546 I'm sorry. I can explain. 1150 01:00:33,630 --> 01:00:35,840 Explain how you forgot to invite us to your party? 1151 01:00:35,924 --> 01:00:37,758 Janis, I cannot stop this car. I have a curfew. 1152 01:00:37,843 --> 01:00:40,469 You know I couldn't invite you. I had to pretend to be Plastic. 1153 01:00:40,554 --> 01:00:42,930 Hey, buddy, you're not pretending anymore. 1154 01:00:43,015 --> 01:00:46,434 You're Plastic. Cold, shiny, hard Plastic. 1155 01:00:46,518 --> 01:00:48,019 Curfew, 1:00 a.m. It is now 1:10. 1156 01:00:48,103 --> 01:00:50,187 Did you have an awesome time? 1157 01:00:50,272 --> 01:00:53,441 Did you drink awesome shooters and listen to awesome music, 1158 01:00:53,525 --> 01:00:56,277 and then just sit around and soak up each other's awesomeness? 1159 01:00:56,361 --> 01:00:57,945 You know what? You're the one who made me like this 1160 01:00:58,030 --> 01:01:00,531 so you could use me for your eighth-grade revenge. 1161 01:01:00,615 --> 01:01:03,659 God! See, at least me and Regina George know we're mean. 1162 01:01:03,744 --> 01:01:08,039 You try to act like you're so innocent. Like, "I used to live in Africa 1163 01:01:08,123 --> 01:01:10,249 "with all the little birdies and the little monkeys." 1164 01:01:10,334 --> 01:01:13,419 You know what? It's not my fault you're, like, in love with me or something! 1165 01:01:13,503 --> 01:01:15,171 -What? -Oh, no, she did not! 1166 01:01:15,255 --> 01:01:17,673 See? That is the thing with you Plastics. 1167 01:01:17,758 --> 01:01:20,092 You think that everybody is in love with you, 1168 01:01:20,177 --> 01:01:22,678 when actually everybody hates you. 1169 01:01:22,763 --> 01:01:24,722 Like Aaron Samuels, for example. 1170 01:01:24,806 --> 01:01:26,682 He broke up with Regina and guess what. 1171 01:01:26,767 --> 01:01:28,392 He still doesn't want you. 1172 01:01:28,477 --> 01:01:31,896 So why are you still messing with Regina, Cady? I'll tell you why. 1173 01:01:31,980 --> 01:01:35,066 Because you are a mean girl! You're a bitch! 1174 01:01:36,610 --> 01:01:39,612 Here. You can have this. It won a prize. 1175 01:01:42,032 --> 01:01:44,158 And I want my pink shirt back! 1176 01:01:44,242 --> 01:01:46,535 I want my pink shirt back! 1177 01:02:01,301 --> 01:02:02,760 Hon, slow down. 1178 01:02:02,844 --> 01:02:05,805 It's like I can't trust anyone anymore. 1179 01:02:06,640 --> 01:02:08,099 Why are you eating a Kälteen bar? 1180 01:02:08,183 --> 01:02:10,726 -I'm starving. -Man, I hate those things. 1181 01:02:10,811 --> 01:02:15,147 Coach Carr makes us eat those when we wanna move up a weight class. 1182 01:02:15,941 --> 01:02:17,233 What? 1183 01:02:17,901 --> 01:02:20,653 They make you gain weight like crazy. 1184 01:02:21,613 --> 01:02:23,030 Mother... 1185 01:02:49,307 --> 01:02:55,146 This girl is the nastiest skank bitch 1186 01:02:55,230 --> 01:02:58,482 I've ever met. 1187 01:02:59,693 --> 01:03:02,027 Do not trust her. 1188 01:03:02,904 --> 01:03:07,491 She is a fugly slut! 1189 01:03:28,221 --> 01:03:32,808 I found it in the girls' bathroom. It's so mean, Mr. Duvall. 1190 01:03:33,685 --> 01:03:35,102 Is this true? 1191 01:03:35,187 --> 01:03:37,730 Trang Pak made out with Coach Carr? 1192 01:03:38,815 --> 01:03:40,399 Good Lord. 1193 01:03:41,693 --> 01:03:44,320 What's that say? "Kaitlyn Caussin is a..." 1194 01:03:44,404 --> 01:03:46,113 Fat whore. 1195 01:03:49,034 --> 01:03:51,744 Okay, calm down, Miss George. 1196 01:03:51,828 --> 01:03:55,080 Why would someone write that? That's just so mean. 1197 01:03:55,790 --> 01:03:58,292 Don't worry. We're gonna find out who did it. 1198 01:03:58,376 --> 01:04:01,837 There's only three girls in the whole school who aren't in it. 1199 01:04:01,922 --> 01:04:04,507 At your age, you're gonna be having a lot of urges. 1200 01:04:04,591 --> 01:04:08,135 You're gonna want to take off your clothes and touch each other. 1201 01:04:08,220 --> 01:04:12,598 But if you do touch each other, you will get chlamydia and die. 1202 01:04:12,724 --> 01:04:14,141 Coach Carr. 1203 01:04:17,646 --> 01:04:21,273 Cady Heron, they wanna see you in the principal's office. 1204 01:04:22,526 --> 01:04:26,487 All right, chlamydia. K-L-A... 1205 01:04:29,533 --> 01:04:31,534 In here, Miss Heron. 1206 01:04:39,793 --> 01:04:42,711 -What's going on? -Have a seat, Miss Heron. 1207 01:04:46,800 --> 01:04:49,426 -Have you ever seen this before? -No. 1208 01:04:49,511 --> 01:04:51,929 I mean, yes, I've seen it before, but it's not mine. 1209 01:04:52,013 --> 01:04:53,722 You better get your story straight, Miss Heron, 1210 01:04:53,807 --> 01:04:55,558 because I'm not messing around here. 1211 01:04:55,642 --> 01:04:57,643 It's not ours. It's Regina's. 1212 01:04:57,727 --> 01:05:01,647 Yeah, she's trying to make it look like we wrote it, but really, she wrote it. 1213 01:05:01,731 --> 01:05:03,607 Miss Wieners, why would Regina 1214 01:05:03,692 --> 01:05:07,778 refer to herself as a "fugly slut"? 1215 01:05:10,282 --> 01:05:13,075 Miss Smith, this is no time to be laughing. 1216 01:05:13,159 --> 01:05:16,412 We're gonna get to the bottom of this right now. 1217 01:05:34,097 --> 01:05:37,600 Maybe we're not in that book because everybody likes us, 1218 01:05:37,684 --> 01:05:40,477 and I don't wanna be punished for being well-liked. 1219 01:05:40,562 --> 01:05:44,398 And I don't think my father, the inventor of Toaster Strudel, 1220 01:05:44,482 --> 01:05:46,191 would be too pleased to hear about this. 1221 01:05:55,577 --> 01:05:57,828 "Made out with a hot dog"? 1222 01:05:57,912 --> 01:06:00,539 Oh, my God, that was one time! 1223 01:06:03,209 --> 01:06:06,962 "Dawn Schweitzer has a huge ass"? Who would write that? 1224 01:06:07,547 --> 01:06:09,548 Who wouldn't write that? 1225 01:06:10,467 --> 01:06:12,968 "Trang Pak made out with Coach Carr"? 1226 01:06:13,053 --> 01:06:14,720 "And so did Sun Jin Dinh." 1227 01:06:15,555 --> 01:06:16,597 You little slut! 1228 01:06:16,681 --> 01:06:18,223 You're the slut! 1229 01:06:22,479 --> 01:06:25,564 Hey! Hey! Settle down! All right, hey. 1230 01:06:25,649 --> 01:06:28,317 No. You do not push and... 1231 01:06:42,248 --> 01:06:44,166 Do you have anything else you wanna say? 1232 01:06:44,250 --> 01:06:48,712 No, I can't answer any more questions until I have a parent or lawyer present. 1233 01:06:48,797 --> 01:06:50,339 Miss Smith? 1234 01:06:51,091 --> 01:06:54,718 Whoever wrote it probably didn't think anyone would ever see it. 1235 01:06:54,803 --> 01:06:57,054 I hope that nobody else ever does see it. 1236 01:07:08,441 --> 01:07:10,984 Mom, can you pick me up? I'm scared. 1237 01:07:12,487 --> 01:07:14,738 -"Janis Ian, dyke"? -That's original. 1238 01:07:14,823 --> 01:07:16,782 -"Too gay to function"? -Hey! 1239 01:07:16,866 --> 01:07:19,201 That's only okay when I say it. 1240 01:07:19,285 --> 01:07:22,037 -Did you write this? -No, I swear! 1241 01:07:22,122 --> 01:07:24,957 -Then you told somebody! -She told! 1242 01:07:25,041 --> 01:07:27,668 -You little bitch! -You're a bitch! 1243 01:07:30,380 --> 01:07:32,381 Yeah! Take your top off! 1244 01:07:34,217 --> 01:07:36,635 -Now, here's what we're gonna do... -Ron, come quick! 1245 01:07:36,720 --> 01:07:39,638 They've gone wild. The girls have gone wild. 1246 01:07:49,232 --> 01:07:51,775 It was full-tilt jungle madness. 1247 01:07:54,863 --> 01:07:56,864 And it wasn't going away. 1248 01:08:02,996 --> 01:08:05,914 Hey, I pulled these two off each other. 1249 01:08:05,999 --> 01:08:09,418 Coach Carr, step away from the underage girls. 1250 01:08:13,882 --> 01:08:15,883 Let me help you down there. 1251 01:08:15,967 --> 01:08:19,344 Hell, no! I did not leave the South Side for this! 1252 01:08:23,141 --> 01:08:25,267 Oh, crap! My hair! 1253 01:08:25,351 --> 01:08:29,646 All junior girls report to the gymnasium, immediately! 1254 01:08:29,939 --> 01:08:31,064 Immediately! 1255 01:08:36,446 --> 01:08:38,113 Have you ever walked up to people and realized 1256 01:08:38,198 --> 01:08:40,699 they were just talking about you? 1257 01:08:42,368 --> 01:08:45,454 Have you ever had it happen 60 times in a row? 1258 01:08:46,039 --> 01:08:47,414 I have. 1259 01:09:06,392 --> 01:09:10,604 Never in my 14 years as an educator have I seen such behavior, 1260 01:09:11,397 --> 01:09:13,273 and from young ladies. 1261 01:09:13,817 --> 01:09:17,986 I got parents calling me on the phone asking, "Did someone get shot?" 1262 01:09:18,071 --> 01:09:20,322 I ought to cancel your Spring Fling. 1263 01:09:20,406 --> 01:09:21,824 -No! -No! 1264 01:09:21,908 --> 01:09:23,325 -No. -What are we supposed to do? 1265 01:09:23,409 --> 01:09:26,495 Now, I'm not gonna do that, because we've already paid the DJ, 1266 01:09:26,579 --> 01:09:30,082 but don't think that I'm not taking this book seriously. 1267 01:09:30,166 --> 01:09:32,835 Coach Carr has fled school property. 1268 01:09:33,711 --> 01:09:36,839 Ms. Norbury has been accused of selling drugs. 1269 01:09:37,507 --> 01:09:39,925 Now, what the young ladies in this grade need 1270 01:09:40,009 --> 01:09:42,094 is an attitude makeover. 1271 01:09:42,512 --> 01:09:44,972 And you're gonna get it right now. 1272 01:09:45,056 --> 01:09:48,892 I don't care how long it takes. I will keep you here all night. 1273 01:09:48,977 --> 01:09:50,602 We can't keep them past 4:00. 1274 01:09:50,687 --> 01:09:53,105 I will keep you here until 4:00. 1275 01:09:54,816 --> 01:09:57,317 Now, what we're gonna try to do is fix the way you young ladies 1276 01:09:57,402 --> 01:09:58,986 relate to each other. 1277 01:09:59,070 --> 01:10:01,196 Okay. Lady to lady. 1278 01:10:01,823 --> 01:10:05,659 So who has a lady problem that they'd like to talk about? 1279 01:10:08,705 --> 01:10:10,163 Yes? 1280 01:10:10,248 --> 01:10:13,542 Somebody wrote in that book that I'm lying about being a virgin 1281 01:10:13,626 --> 01:10:15,335 because I use super-jumbo tampons. 1282 01:10:15,420 --> 01:10:19,798 But I can't help it if I've got a heavy flow and a wide-set vagina. 1283 01:10:21,759 --> 01:10:23,886 Yeah, I can't do this. 1284 01:10:23,970 --> 01:10:25,387 Ms. Norbury. 1285 01:10:25,471 --> 01:10:29,391 You're a successful, intelligent, caring, graceful woman. 1286 01:10:29,475 --> 01:10:30,684 I am? 1287 01:10:30,768 --> 01:10:33,186 There has to be something that you can say to these young ladies, 1288 01:10:33,271 --> 01:10:35,397 something to help them with their self-esteem. 1289 01:10:35,481 --> 01:10:36,732 It's not a self-esteem problem. 1290 01:10:36,816 --> 01:10:40,235 I think they're all pretty pleased with themselves. 1291 01:10:41,696 --> 01:10:43,030 Okay. 1292 01:10:44,324 --> 01:10:48,493 Okay. Everybody, close your eyes. 1293 01:10:49,245 --> 01:10:52,372 All right. I want you to raise your hand if you have ever had a girl 1294 01:10:52,457 --> 01:10:55,626 say something bad about you behind your back. 1295 01:10:57,587 --> 01:10:59,171 Open your eyes. 1296 01:11:01,341 --> 01:11:02,883 Now, close your eyes again. 1297 01:11:02,967 --> 01:11:05,802 And this time, I want you to raise your hand if you have ever 1298 01:11:05,887 --> 01:11:09,014 said anything about a friend behind her back. 1299 01:11:14,896 --> 01:11:16,229 Open them. 1300 01:11:20,318 --> 01:11:23,278 There's been some girl-on-girl crime here. 1301 01:11:24,405 --> 01:11:28,075 Okay, so what we could do today is a couple exercises to help you 1302 01:11:28,159 --> 01:11:31,078 express your anger in a healthy way. 1303 01:11:32,372 --> 01:11:33,497 Let's start over here. 1304 01:11:33,581 --> 01:11:35,457 Ms. Norbury had us confront each other directly 1305 01:11:35,541 --> 01:11:37,250 about the things that were bothering us, 1306 01:11:37,335 --> 01:11:39,378 and it seemed like every clique had its own problems. 1307 01:11:39,462 --> 01:11:42,381 You've been acting really stuck-up ever since you switched to shortfielder, 1308 01:11:42,465 --> 01:11:44,591 and Dawn agrees with me. 1309 01:11:44,676 --> 01:11:46,301 -Dawn? -Don't drag me into this. 1310 01:11:46,386 --> 01:11:47,427 I'm pitching tomorrow. 1311 01:11:47,512 --> 01:11:49,304 Why are you scamming on my boyfriend? 1312 01:11:49,389 --> 01:11:52,391 You're just jealous because guys like me better. 1313 01:11:52,642 --> 01:11:54,601 Nigga, please. 1314 01:11:55,561 --> 01:11:57,604 Okay. Good. 1315 01:11:58,564 --> 01:12:01,608 Can I just say that we don't have a clique problem at this school? 1316 01:12:01,693 --> 01:12:03,819 And some of us shouldn't have to take this workshop, 1317 01:12:03,903 --> 01:12:06,780 because some of us are just victims in this situation. 1318 01:12:06,864 --> 01:12:08,156 That's probably true. 1319 01:12:08,241 --> 01:12:09,950 How many of you have ever felt 1320 01:12:10,034 --> 01:12:13,078 personally victimized by Regina George? 1321 01:12:22,964 --> 01:12:25,507 Good. Okay, who's next? 1322 01:12:25,591 --> 01:12:27,175 Who's next? 1323 01:12:29,429 --> 01:12:30,846 Cady. 1324 01:12:30,930 --> 01:12:33,181 Do you have anything you wanna own up to? 1325 01:12:33,266 --> 01:12:34,307 Yes. 1326 01:12:34,392 --> 01:12:35,642 No. 1327 01:12:35,727 --> 01:12:38,520 You never made up a rumor about anybody? 1328 01:12:38,604 --> 01:12:39,980 Just that you sell drugs. 1329 01:12:40,064 --> 01:12:41,565 No. 1330 01:12:41,649 --> 01:12:44,276 Nothing you want to apologize for? 1331 01:12:44,360 --> 01:12:45,694 I couldn't apologize to Ms. Norbury 1332 01:12:45,778 --> 01:12:48,113 without getting blamed for the whole Burn Book. 1333 01:12:48,197 --> 01:12:49,406 No. 1334 01:12:50,950 --> 01:12:53,785 I'm really disappointed in you, Cady. 1335 01:12:55,580 --> 01:12:58,790 Okay, so we're all here because of this book, right? 1336 01:12:58,875 --> 01:13:01,626 Well, I don't know who wrote this book, 1337 01:13:01,711 --> 01:13:05,672 but you all have got to stop calling each other sluts and whores. 1338 01:13:05,757 --> 01:13:08,884 It just makes it okay for guys to call you sluts and whores. 1339 01:13:08,968 --> 01:13:11,636 Who here has ever been called a slut? 1340 01:13:15,683 --> 01:13:17,517 Okay, everybody up. 1341 01:13:17,602 --> 01:13:21,521 Ms. Norbury had us write out apologies to people that we'd hurt in our lives. 1342 01:13:21,606 --> 01:13:25,358 "Alyssa, I'm sorry I called you a gap-toothed bitch. 1343 01:13:25,443 --> 01:13:28,487 "It's not your fault you're so gap-toothed." 1344 01:13:32,492 --> 01:13:33,992 "Gretchen, 1345 01:13:34,077 --> 01:13:36,703 "I'm sorry I laughed at you that time you got diarrhea 1346 01:13:36,788 --> 01:13:38,163 "at Barnes & Noble, 1347 01:13:38,247 --> 01:13:40,916 "and I'm sorry I told everyone about it," 1348 01:13:41,000 --> 01:13:43,543 and I'm sorry for repeating it now. 1349 01:13:48,174 --> 01:13:50,383 Laura, I don't hate you because you're fat. 1350 01:13:50,468 --> 01:13:52,844 You're fat because I hate you. 1351 01:13:56,516 --> 01:14:00,602 "I just wish we could all get along like we used to in middle school. 1352 01:14:00,686 --> 01:14:04,481 "I wish that I could bake a cake made out of rainbows and smiles, 1353 01:14:04,565 --> 01:14:06,858 "and we'd all eat it and be happy." 1354 01:14:06,943 --> 01:14:09,111 She doesn't even go here! 1355 01:14:10,530 --> 01:14:12,614 Do you even go to this school? 1356 01:14:12,698 --> 01:14:15,742 No. I just have a lot of feelings. 1357 01:14:16,702 --> 01:14:18,203 Okay, go home. 1358 01:14:22,041 --> 01:14:23,875 Sharon, I think you're doing a great job. 1359 01:14:23,960 --> 01:14:25,585 Thanks. I feel like I'm getting through. 1360 01:14:25,670 --> 01:14:28,588 "I'm sorry that people are so jealous of me, 1361 01:14:28,673 --> 01:14:31,550 "but I can't help it that I'm popular." 1362 01:14:36,347 --> 01:14:39,432 Oh, my God! Oh, jeez. Okay, walk it off. Walk it off. 1363 01:14:39,517 --> 01:14:41,518 Okay, that hurt. 1364 01:14:42,687 --> 01:14:44,479 They're okay. 1365 01:14:44,564 --> 01:14:46,314 They're okay. 1366 01:14:47,567 --> 01:14:51,778 Oh, boy. Okay, who's next? Who's next? Keep it going. 1367 01:14:55,533 --> 01:15:00,036 Oh, my God. It's her dream come true, diving into a big pile of girls. 1368 01:15:01,080 --> 01:15:03,582 Okay. Yeah, I've got an apology. 1369 01:15:06,169 --> 01:15:10,130 So I have this friend who is a new student this year, 1370 01:15:10,214 --> 01:15:15,385 and I convinced her that it would be fun to mess up Regina George's life. 1371 01:15:15,469 --> 01:15:17,846 So I had her pretend to be friends with Regina, 1372 01:15:17,930 --> 01:15:19,389 and then she would come to my house after 1373 01:15:19,473 --> 01:15:22,058 and we would just laugh about all the dumb stuff Regina said. 1374 01:15:22,143 --> 01:15:26,188 And we gave her these candy bar things that would make her gain weight, 1375 01:15:26,272 --> 01:15:28,815 and we turned her best friends against her. 1376 01:15:28,900 --> 01:15:31,568 And then... Oh, yeah, Cady. You know my friend Cady. 1377 01:15:31,652 --> 01:15:34,112 She made out with Regina's boyfriend 1378 01:15:34,197 --> 01:15:36,156 and then convinced him to break up with her. 1379 01:15:36,240 --> 01:15:38,992 Oh, God, and we gave you foot cream instead of face wash. 1380 01:15:39,076 --> 01:15:41,953 God! I am so sorry, Regina. 1381 01:15:42,038 --> 01:15:43,830 Really, I don't know why I did it. 1382 01:15:43,915 --> 01:15:49,711 I guess it's probably because I've got a big lesbian crush on you. 1383 01:15:49,795 --> 01:15:51,504 Suck on that! 1384 01:15:53,007 --> 01:15:56,927 Janis! Janis! Janis! Janis! 1385 01:16:02,850 --> 01:16:04,100 Regina! 1386 01:16:05,895 --> 01:16:07,896 Regina, wait! I didn't mean for that to happen. 1387 01:16:07,980 --> 01:16:09,898 To find out that everyone hates me? I don't care. 1388 01:16:09,982 --> 01:16:11,983 Regina, please! Regina, stop! 1389 01:16:12,068 --> 01:16:14,986 No! Do you know what everyone says about you? 1390 01:16:15,071 --> 01:16:17,197 They say that you're a home-schooled jungle freak 1391 01:16:17,281 --> 01:16:19,241 who's a less-hot version of me. 1392 01:16:19,325 --> 01:16:21,826 Yeah. So don't try to act so innocent. 1393 01:16:21,911 --> 01:16:25,497 You can take that fake apology and shove it right up your hairy... 1394 01:16:29,502 --> 01:16:32,128 And that's how Regina George died. 1395 01:16:32,213 --> 01:16:35,423 No, I'm totally kidding, but she did get hurt. 1396 01:16:35,508 --> 01:16:37,926 Some girls say they saw her head go all the way around, 1397 01:16:38,010 --> 01:16:39,427 but that's just a rumor. 1398 01:16:39,512 --> 01:16:42,305 Some people swear they saw me push her in front of the bus. 1399 01:16:42,390 --> 01:16:44,933 That was an even worse rumor. 1400 01:16:45,017 --> 01:16:48,395 -Everybody done? -No. Mom, I didn't do it. 1401 01:16:48,980 --> 01:16:50,855 I don't know what to believe anymore. 1402 01:16:50,940 --> 01:16:53,608 Mom, believe me. I'm your daughter. 1403 01:16:56,153 --> 01:16:59,114 Why are my tribal vases under the sink? 1404 01:16:59,198 --> 01:17:02,701 My tribal vases. Why were they under the sink? 1405 01:17:02,785 --> 01:17:04,286 I don't know. 1406 01:17:04,370 --> 01:17:06,788 This is the fertility vase of the Ndebele tribe. 1407 01:17:06,872 --> 01:17:09,624 -Does that mean anything to you? -No. 1408 01:17:10,710 --> 01:17:12,335 Who are you? 1409 01:17:17,091 --> 01:17:20,593 Great. All my friends hate me, and now my mom hates me. 1410 01:17:21,095 --> 01:17:23,096 Your mom does not hate you. 1411 01:17:23,180 --> 01:17:25,432 She's afraid of you. 1412 01:17:26,934 --> 01:17:30,562 I don't know, maybe we mainstream-schooled you too soon. 1413 01:17:31,147 --> 01:17:35,358 Maybe you should come back and be home-schooled again for a while. 1414 01:17:35,443 --> 01:17:39,279 No. Only thing worse than going back will be not going back. 1415 01:17:40,406 --> 01:17:42,574 How bad's it gonna be tomorrow? 1416 01:17:42,658 --> 01:17:46,536 Remember when we saw those lions fighting over the wart hog carcass? 1417 01:17:46,620 --> 01:17:48,246 I'll be the wart hog. 1418 01:17:48,331 --> 01:17:51,082 You're not a wart hog. You're a lion. 1419 01:17:52,209 --> 01:17:54,919 Just focus on your studies for a little while. 1420 01:17:55,004 --> 01:17:57,505 You're still an excellent student, right? 1421 01:17:57,590 --> 01:18:00,717 Oh, yeah. I need you to sign my calculus test. 1422 01:18:01,385 --> 01:18:03,428 -Why? -I'm failing. 1423 01:18:06,557 --> 01:18:08,892 Okay. You are... 1424 01:18:10,978 --> 01:18:12,771 What do they call it? 1425 01:18:12,855 --> 01:18:14,189 Grounded. 1426 01:18:14,273 --> 01:18:15,940 You're grounded. 1427 01:18:44,637 --> 01:18:46,888 She pushed her in front of the bus. 1428 01:18:46,972 --> 01:18:48,640 Did you see her do it? 1429 01:18:48,724 --> 01:18:50,100 Yes. 1430 01:19:04,657 --> 01:19:08,743 Did your teacher ever try to sell you marijuana or ecstasy tablets? 1431 01:19:08,828 --> 01:19:11,246 -No. -What are marijuana tablets? 1432 01:19:11,330 --> 01:19:13,623 What's going on? Where's Ms. Norbury? 1433 01:19:13,707 --> 01:19:17,919 Mr. Duvall, this is ridiculous. Ms. Norbury does not sell drugs. 1434 01:19:18,003 --> 01:19:19,045 I know, Aaron, 1435 01:19:19,130 --> 01:19:21,214 but after the allegations against Coach Carr 1436 01:19:21,298 --> 01:19:23,883 turned out to be extremely true, 1437 01:19:23,968 --> 01:19:27,053 the school board felt that it was best that we investigate every claim made 1438 01:19:27,138 --> 01:19:28,596 in this Burn Book. 1439 01:19:28,681 --> 01:19:31,057 That book was written by a bunch of stupid girls 1440 01:19:31,142 --> 01:19:33,059 who make up rumors because they're bored 1441 01:19:33,144 --> 01:19:35,103 with their own lame lives. 1442 01:19:35,187 --> 01:19:38,106 Well, unless someone wants to come forward and say, "I made it all up," 1443 01:19:38,190 --> 01:19:40,900 this is how we have to handle it. To say that someone... 1444 01:19:40,985 --> 01:19:44,696 Oh, no. Bye, Aaron. You're gonna hate me forever. 1445 01:19:46,866 --> 01:19:49,617 Mr. Duvall. I wrote it. 1446 01:19:53,038 --> 01:19:54,747 Come on, Cady. 1447 01:20:01,547 --> 01:20:05,133 When you get bit by a snake, you're supposed to suck the poison out. 1448 01:20:05,217 --> 01:20:09,053 That's what I had to do, suck all the poison out of my life. 1449 01:20:09,722 --> 01:20:11,389 I started with Regina, 1450 01:20:11,474 --> 01:20:13,892 who was living proof that the more people are scared of you, 1451 01:20:13,976 --> 01:20:16,060 the more flowers you get. 1452 01:20:16,437 --> 01:20:17,896 Then there was Ms. Norbury, 1453 01:20:17,980 --> 01:20:21,566 who was living proof that no good deed goes unpunished. 1454 01:20:22,109 --> 01:20:24,736 Hi. Did you wanna buy some drugs? 1455 01:20:24,820 --> 01:20:28,823 -I'm just done with my quiz. -Wait. I'll grade it right now. 1456 01:20:32,995 --> 01:20:35,663 I gotta say, watching the police search my house 1457 01:20:35,748 --> 01:20:39,292 really was the cherry on top of a fantastic year. 1458 01:20:40,544 --> 01:20:43,171 How much trouble did you get in for telling the truth? 1459 01:20:43,255 --> 01:20:44,589 A lot. 1460 01:20:45,090 --> 01:20:46,591 Well, you didn't write that whole book yourself. 1461 01:20:46,675 --> 01:20:48,927 Did you tell Mr. Duvall who else did it? 1462 01:20:49,011 --> 01:20:50,428 No, because I'm trying this new thing 1463 01:20:50,513 --> 01:20:52,972 where I don't talk about people behind their backs. 1464 01:20:53,057 --> 01:20:54,182 That's right. 1465 01:20:54,266 --> 01:20:56,267 Getting hit by a bus is pretty good punishment. 1466 01:20:56,352 --> 01:20:57,727 Ninety-four. 1467 01:20:57,811 --> 01:20:59,604 Welcome back, nerd. 1468 01:21:00,064 --> 01:21:01,356 Thanks. 1469 01:21:02,483 --> 01:21:05,610 Anyway, I'm sorry. 1470 01:21:06,570 --> 01:21:08,112 I forgive you. 1471 01:21:08,197 --> 01:21:10,657 But as my own personal form of punishment, 1472 01:21:10,741 --> 01:21:14,536 I figured out how you're gonna earn that extra credit. 1473 01:21:14,620 --> 01:21:16,120 What's up? 1474 01:22:14,513 --> 01:22:17,140 Excellent. Great turnout this year. 1475 01:22:24,857 --> 01:22:26,858 -All right. It's all you. -Okay. 1476 01:22:26,942 --> 01:22:28,860 -Make me look good out there. -Okay. 1477 01:22:28,944 --> 01:22:33,031 Marymount, you sons of bitches. You no-good sons of bitches. 1478 01:22:33,115 --> 01:22:34,741 -You nervous? -Yes. 1479 01:22:34,825 --> 01:22:36,200 Don't be. You can do this. 1480 01:22:36,285 --> 01:22:38,328 There's nothing to break your focus, 1481 01:22:38,412 --> 01:22:41,623 because not one of those Marymount boys is cute. 1482 01:22:43,042 --> 01:22:44,167 Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, 1483 01:22:44,251 --> 01:22:47,253 and welcome to the Illinois High School Mathletes State Championship. 1484 01:22:47,338 --> 01:22:50,673 Let's start the competition. Here is the first question. 1485 01:22:50,758 --> 01:22:54,385 Twice the larger of two numbers is three more than five times the smaller, 1486 01:22:54,470 --> 01:22:56,137 and the sum of four times the larger 1487 01:22:56,221 --> 01:22:59,557 and three times the smaller is 71. What are... 1488 01:22:59,642 --> 01:23:01,726 -North Shore? -Fourteen and five. 1489 01:23:01,810 --> 01:23:03,519 That is correct. Question number two. 1490 01:23:03,604 --> 01:23:06,814 Find an odd three-digit number whose digits add up to 12. 1491 01:23:06,899 --> 01:23:08,149 The digits are all different, 1492 01:23:08,233 --> 01:23:09,942 and the difference between the first two digits 1493 01:23:10,027 --> 01:23:11,694 equals the difference between... 1494 01:23:11,779 --> 01:23:13,696 -Marymount? -741. 1495 01:23:13,781 --> 01:23:16,824 -Correct. -Shoot. I was really rusty. 1496 01:23:18,160 --> 01:23:20,536 -Where's Cady? -She went out. 1497 01:23:21,080 --> 01:23:22,830 She's grounded. 1498 01:23:22,915 --> 01:23:26,209 Are they not allowed out when they're grounded? 1499 01:23:32,257 --> 01:23:35,468 Don't forget to vote for Spring Fling King and Queen, people. 1500 01:23:35,552 --> 01:23:38,596 These A-holes will represent you for a full calendar year. 1501 01:23:38,681 --> 01:23:41,766 I'm gonna vote for Regina George because she got hit by that bus. 1502 01:23:41,850 --> 01:23:44,977 I'm voting for Cady Heron because she pushed her. 1503 01:23:53,112 --> 01:23:56,864 She's supposed to be grounded, but he let her out. 1504 01:23:56,949 --> 01:24:00,868 After 87 minutes of very competitive play, we have a tie. 1505 01:24:00,953 --> 01:24:04,205 In the event of a tie, we move into a sudden-death round. 1506 01:24:04,289 --> 01:24:08,209 Each team is given the opportunity to choose their opponent. 1507 01:24:08,293 --> 01:24:12,213 -North Shore, who do you select? -The girl, dude. The girl. 1508 01:24:12,297 --> 01:24:13,881 Contestant Krafft. 1509 01:24:13,966 --> 01:24:16,718 From Marymount, Miss Caroline Krafft. 1510 01:24:20,139 --> 01:24:21,681 We pick the girl, too. 1511 01:24:21,765 --> 01:24:24,392 And from North Shore, Miss Cady Heron. 1512 01:24:24,476 --> 01:24:25,977 It's Cady. 1513 01:24:26,812 --> 01:24:28,813 Oh, my God, that's me. 1514 01:24:36,321 --> 01:24:39,907 Miss Caroline Krafft seriously needed to pluck her eyebrows. 1515 01:24:39,992 --> 01:24:43,828 Her outfit looked like it was picked out by a blind Sunday school teacher, 1516 01:24:43,912 --> 01:24:47,540 and she had some 99¢ lip gloss on her snaggletooth. 1517 01:24:47,624 --> 01:24:50,585 And that's when I realized, making fun of Caroline Krafft 1518 01:24:50,669 --> 01:24:53,254 wouldn't stop her from beating me in this contest. 1519 01:24:53,338 --> 01:24:56,841 Contestants, find the limit of this equation. 1520 01:24:57,843 --> 01:25:00,428 Calling somebody else fat won't make you any skinnier. 1521 01:25:00,512 --> 01:25:02,930 Calling someone stupid doesn't make you any smarter. 1522 01:25:03,015 --> 01:25:06,601 And ruining Regina George's life definitely didn't make me any happier. 1523 01:25:06,685 --> 01:25:10,938 All you can do in life is try to solve the problem in front of you. 1524 01:25:11,023 --> 01:25:12,440 The limit is negative one. 1525 01:25:12,524 --> 01:25:14,025 Oh, crap. I lost. 1526 01:25:14,109 --> 01:25:16,194 That answer is incorrect. 1527 01:25:16,570 --> 01:25:17,820 Now, we are in a sudden death. 1528 01:25:17,905 --> 01:25:22,033 If Miss Heron can answer this problem correctly, we have a winner. 1529 01:25:22,910 --> 01:25:25,787 Limits. Why couldn't I remember anything about limits? 1530 01:25:25,871 --> 01:25:28,456 Limits. That was the week Aaron got his hair cut. 1531 01:25:28,540 --> 01:25:31,125 Oh, God, he looked so cute. Okay, focus, Cady. 1532 01:25:31,210 --> 01:25:33,127 What was on the board behind Aaron's head? 1533 01:25:34,630 --> 01:25:37,131 If the limit never approaches anything... 1534 01:25:37,216 --> 01:25:39,300 The limit does not exist. 1535 01:25:39,384 --> 01:25:40,968 The limit does not exist! 1536 01:25:41,053 --> 01:25:43,054 Our new state champions, 1537 01:25:43,138 --> 01:25:45,723 -the North Shore Mathletes. -Yeah! 1538 01:25:54,733 --> 01:25:56,818 How do you like me now? 1539 01:25:56,902 --> 01:26:00,321 You like that? Yeah! Get some! Get some! 1540 01:26:00,906 --> 01:26:03,199 Awesome. You went with the leather sleeves. 1541 01:26:03,283 --> 01:26:06,244 -Africa, you did the damn thing. -Thanks. 1542 01:26:06,829 --> 01:26:08,329 Thanks, K.G. 1543 01:26:08,413 --> 01:26:11,541 We're gonna look so kick-ass in these when we roll into Spring Fling. 1544 01:26:11,625 --> 01:26:13,543 -Oh, no, I'm not going. -What? 1545 01:26:13,627 --> 01:26:14,836 Cady, this is your night. 1546 01:26:14,920 --> 01:26:17,547 Don't let the haters stop you from doing your thang. 1547 01:26:17,631 --> 01:26:18,840 Did you just say "thang"? 1548 01:26:18,924 --> 01:26:21,300 Cady, you don't have to punish yourself forever. 1549 01:26:21,385 --> 01:26:23,302 But I'm grounded. 1550 01:26:23,387 --> 01:26:25,221 You're already out. 1551 01:26:35,899 --> 01:26:37,775 All right, do we have all of our nominees 1552 01:26:37,860 --> 01:26:40,403 for king and queen on the stage? 1553 01:26:40,487 --> 01:26:41,696 Okay, good. 1554 01:26:41,780 --> 01:26:45,074 I just wanted to say that you're all winners, 1555 01:26:45,158 --> 01:26:48,953 and I could not be happier that this school year's ending. 1556 01:26:49,746 --> 01:26:51,038 Here we go. 1557 01:26:51,123 --> 01:26:55,126 The winner of the Spring Fling King, 1558 01:26:56,211 --> 01:26:58,462 -Shane Oman. -Yes! 1559 01:26:59,423 --> 01:27:01,799 That's what I'm talking about! 1560 01:27:04,136 --> 01:27:06,679 And your Spring Fling Queen, 1561 01:27:06,763 --> 01:27:09,223 future co-chair of the Student Activities Board 1562 01:27:09,308 --> 01:27:13,853 and winner of two gift certificates to the Walker Brothers Pancake House, 1563 01:27:14,730 --> 01:27:16,147 Cady Heron. 1564 01:27:20,569 --> 01:27:22,320 Where is Cady? 1565 01:27:24,323 --> 01:27:25,823 There she is. 1566 01:27:41,673 --> 01:27:43,841 Wow. Thanks. 1567 01:27:46,386 --> 01:27:48,763 Well, half the people in this room are mad at me 1568 01:27:48,847 --> 01:27:51,891 and the other half only like me 1569 01:27:51,975 --> 01:27:55,269 because they think I pushed somebody in front of a bus. 1570 01:27:55,354 --> 01:27:57,271 So that's not good. 1571 01:27:58,231 --> 01:28:00,691 You know, it's not really required of you to make a speech. 1572 01:28:00,776 --> 01:28:02,818 I'm almost done, I swear. 1573 01:28:03,904 --> 01:28:08,157 To all the people whose feelings that got hurt by the Burn Book, 1574 01:28:09,201 --> 01:28:11,035 I'm really sorry. 1575 01:28:12,287 --> 01:28:15,456 You know, I've never been to one of these things before, 1576 01:28:15,540 --> 01:28:18,876 and when I think about how many people wanted this 1577 01:28:19,711 --> 01:28:22,880 and how many people cried over it and stuff... 1578 01:28:23,715 --> 01:28:27,635 I mean, I think everybody looks like royalty tonight. 1579 01:28:27,719 --> 01:28:31,138 Look at Jessica Lopez. That dress is amazing. 1580 01:28:32,057 --> 01:28:34,850 And Emma Gerber, I mean, that hairdo must have taken hours, 1581 01:28:34,935 --> 01:28:37,228 and you look really pretty. 1582 01:28:39,147 --> 01:28:40,439 So, 1583 01:28:41,441 --> 01:28:43,901 why is everybody stressing over this thing? 1584 01:28:43,986 --> 01:28:47,571 I mean, it's just plastic. Could really just... 1585 01:28:51,368 --> 01:28:52,952 Share it. 1586 01:28:53,036 --> 01:28:56,914 A piece for Gretchen Wieners, a partial Spring Fling Queen. 1587 01:28:59,751 --> 01:29:01,752 A piece for Janis Ian. 1588 01:29:03,630 --> 01:29:06,340 Seriously, most people just take the crown and go. 1589 01:29:06,425 --> 01:29:08,509 And a piece for Regina George. 1590 01:29:08,593 --> 01:29:12,513 She fractured her spine, and she still looks like a rock star. 1591 01:29:13,932 --> 01:29:15,349 Thank you. 1592 01:29:15,434 --> 01:29:17,935 And some for everybody else. 1593 01:29:27,821 --> 01:29:30,364 God, Mr. Duvall, can you wrap it up? 1594 01:29:30,449 --> 01:29:31,949 Thanks. 1595 01:29:32,617 --> 01:29:35,286 All right, have a good time, everyone. 1596 01:29:41,960 --> 01:29:43,461 Look. I'm a queen. 1597 01:29:43,545 --> 01:29:45,504 As am I. 1598 01:29:45,589 --> 01:29:47,298 -Hey. -Hey. 1599 01:29:48,050 --> 01:29:50,134 So are we still in a fight? 1600 01:29:50,635 --> 01:29:52,803 Are you still an asshole? 1601 01:29:52,888 --> 01:29:54,305 I don't think so. 1602 01:29:54,389 --> 01:29:56,682 Well, then I guess we're okay. 1603 01:29:56,767 --> 01:29:58,392 Oh, my God, I love this song! 1604 01:29:58,477 --> 01:29:59,852 I hate this song. 1605 01:29:59,936 --> 01:30:01,812 I know this song! 1606 01:30:03,106 --> 01:30:05,107 Man candy, stage right. 1607 01:30:08,028 --> 01:30:11,489 -Hey, what's up? -Hey. Didn't think you'd make it. 1608 01:30:13,116 --> 01:30:14,283 On behalf of the senior class, 1609 01:30:14,367 --> 01:30:16,368 I'd like to present you with two gift certificates... 1610 01:30:16,453 --> 01:30:18,704 -Thanks, sucker. -Yo, peace. 1611 01:30:20,040 --> 01:30:23,459 One gift certificate to the Walker Brothers Pancake House. 1612 01:30:23,543 --> 01:30:25,127 Thank you. 1613 01:30:30,008 --> 01:30:32,468 Congratulations on winning State. 1614 01:30:33,095 --> 01:30:34,637 I was so nervous. They made us do limits. 1615 01:30:34,721 --> 01:30:36,722 I thought I was gonna hurl. 1616 01:30:36,807 --> 01:30:39,141 -How's your stomach now? -It's fine. 1617 01:30:39,226 --> 01:30:41,769 -Do you feel nauseous at all? -No. 1618 01:30:42,229 --> 01:30:44,396 -Have you been drinking? -No. 1619 01:30:44,481 --> 01:30:46,899 Okay. Grool. 1620 01:31:12,175 --> 01:31:13,551 -No. -No. 1621 01:31:15,887 --> 01:31:18,222 -What's up? -Can I help you? 1622 01:31:19,266 --> 01:31:20,808 You Puerto Rican? 1623 01:31:20,892 --> 01:31:23,686 -Lebanese. -I feel that. 1624 01:31:39,619 --> 01:31:42,163 In case you're wondering, The Plastics broke up. 1625 01:31:42,247 --> 01:31:44,582 Regina's spine healed, and her physical therapist 1626 01:31:44,666 --> 01:31:47,877 taught her to channel all her rage into sports. 1627 01:31:52,090 --> 01:31:55,885 It was perfect, because the jock girls weren't afraid of her. 1628 01:31:59,097 --> 01:32:02,600 Karen used her special talents to do the morning weather announcements. 1629 01:32:02,684 --> 01:32:04,393 Hi. This is Karen Smith. 1630 01:32:04,477 --> 01:32:06,020 It's 68 degrees, 1631 01:32:06,104 --> 01:32:09,773 and there's a 30% chance that it's already raining. 1632 01:32:11,484 --> 01:32:13,235 And Gretchen found herself a new clique 1633 01:32:13,320 --> 01:32:14,820 and a new queen bee to serve. 1634 01:32:20,118 --> 01:32:23,662 Aaron went to Northwestern, so I still get to see him on weekends. 1635 01:32:23,747 --> 01:32:26,165 And me? I had gone from home-schooled jungle freak 1636 01:32:26,249 --> 01:32:30,586 to shiny Plastic to most hated person in the world to actual human being. 1637 01:32:30,670 --> 01:32:31,962 Hey. 1638 01:32:32,756 --> 01:32:36,634 All the drama from last year just wasn't important anymore. 1639 01:32:36,718 --> 01:32:40,471 School used to be like a shark tank, but now I could just float. 1640 01:32:40,555 --> 01:32:41,889 Regina. 1641 01:32:41,973 --> 01:32:44,516 Finally, Girl World was at peace. 1642 01:32:46,728 --> 01:32:50,022 Hey, check it out. Junior Plastics. 1643 01:32:50,815 --> 01:32:54,235 And if any freshmen tried to disturb that peace... 1644 01:32:54,319 --> 01:32:57,863 Well, let's just say we knew how to take care of it. 1645 01:33:03,328 --> 01:33:06,328 Just kidding.