1
00:01:06,316 --> 00:01:08,401
Hello, folks at home.

2
00:01:08,485 --> 00:01:11,404
Here I am,
100 yards from the top of Mount Everest.

3
00:01:11,488 --> 00:01:15,074
Yet there's a part of me
that can't wait to end this silly vacation

4
00:01:15,159 --> 00:01:18,578
and get back to work
where the real challenges await.

5
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Shouldn't you take your age
into consideration, sir?

6
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After all, you're 82 years old.

7
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Am I 82?

8
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These numbers mean nothing to me.
My journey through life has just begun.

9
00:01:30,174 --> 00:01:31,674
Sir! Sir!

10
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- Oota tells me the storm's getting worse.
- Very, very bad.

11
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We must abandon our ascent and
proceed down the mountain immediately.

12
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We're so very close to the top,
Mr. Puffy-Jacket-Man.

13
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I'm heading down now, sir.
I advise you to do the same.

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All right, so be it.

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See you at the staff meeting on Monday.
And I'll bring the Krispy Kremes!

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There, once again,
the sad footage we've been watching all day.

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A beloved visionary who turned a single
radio station into a global media empire.

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00:02:17,971 --> 00:02:21,474
Preston Blake, dead at 82. More after this.

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You're watching
the Blake Broadcasting Network.

20
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The stock of Blake Media,
the parent company of this network,

21
00:02:30,943 --> 00:02:33,528
plunged this morning
on the news of Blake's death,

22
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but bounced back after a statement
by Blake's longtime number 2, Chuck Cedar.

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And all the king's horses
and all the king's men

24
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couldn't save Preston Blake
from becoming a human popsicle.

25
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And sources indicate that Blake,

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who was single and had no children,
did not leave a will.

27
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So, who inherits Blake's 49% stake in
the company's stock valued at $40 billion?

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We'll discuss that with people close
to Preston Blake,

29
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including his longtime barber

30
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on tomorrow's Inside Access.
Until then, I'm Mac McGrath.

31
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- Are we clear?
- Clear!

32
00:03:07,938 --> 00:03:10,523
Babe? Where's Babe?

33
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I'm gonna come over there
and I'm gonna choke you to death.

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- I gotta go.
- Freaking barber!

35
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That's the best you could get me, huh?

36
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People tell everything to their barbers, Mac.

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I mean, he's been his closest confidant
for more than 20 years.

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Babe, I'm not putting this guy on the air.

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You get me something better
and you get it quick.

40
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Or it's your ass.

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Did we find this heir yet?

42
00:03:34,965 --> 00:03:38,009
We should be getting that information
via fax any minute now.

43
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I have lawyers looking through birth records
in all 50 states, Puerto Rico, and Guam.

44
00:03:43,348 --> 00:03:45,099
In fact, we have a little pool going.

45
00:03:45,392 --> 00:03:47,852
Guam's paying off at 1,000 to 1.

46
00:03:48,520 --> 00:03:50,062
Is this a joke to you?

47
00:03:51,148 --> 00:03:54,609
Some genetic lottery winner
now controls the fate of this company.

48
00:03:54,693 --> 00:03:58,404
- No, no. I agree. It's troubling.
- Troubling?

49
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Your beard is troubling.

50
00:04:00,532 --> 00:04:04,911
Your pipe is troubling.
Your yellow teeth are really troubling.

51
00:04:04,995 --> 00:04:08,664
But if I lose control of this company,
it'll be catastrophic.

52
00:04:14,421 --> 00:04:16,964
Does anyone know a Dr. Mendlesohn?

53
00:04:18,050 --> 00:04:20,343
Congratulations, you have a spastic colon.

54
00:04:21,637 --> 00:04:23,846
That would explain a lot.

55
00:04:38,737 --> 00:04:40,488
"Longfellow Deeds."

56
00:04:46,787 --> 00:04:49,413
Chuck, I think we're there.

57
00:04:51,375 --> 00:04:53,042
My God, it's all green.

58
00:04:58,882 --> 00:05:02,677
Wow. Look at that thing.
Fighter pilot on your left.

59
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God, I've got that sucker.

60
00:05:20,654 --> 00:05:21,946
You guys lost?

61
00:05:22,030 --> 00:05:24,824
We're looking for somebody.
Longfellow Deeds.

62
00:05:25,075 --> 00:05:27,326
Wow. Is that Deeds' first name?

63
00:05:27,411 --> 00:05:29,996
Well, if the Deeds you're referring to
is Longfellow Deeds,

64
00:05:30,080 --> 00:05:32,081
then yes, that is Deeds' first name.

65
00:05:32,624 --> 00:05:35,501
Well, I don't know Deeds' first name.
Maybe it's Greg.

66
00:05:35,794 --> 00:05:36,961
Maybe it's Longfellow.

67
00:05:37,337 --> 00:05:39,171
Maybe. But I don't know.

68
00:05:39,256 --> 00:05:41,674
I know another guy named Greg.
You want me to call him up?

69
00:05:41,758 --> 00:05:44,844
No. Thank you.
Please, just tell us where Deeds lives.

70
00:05:45,137 --> 00:05:47,680
All right,
don't get all hyperactive on me, buddy.

71
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I'll take you straight to him.

72
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Step right in, fellows.

73
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- He lives at a pizzeria?
- You can't live in a pizzeria.

74
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He lives upstairs. He owns it.

75
00:06:05,615 --> 00:06:07,867
Excuse me. Is Mr. Deeds around?

76
00:06:07,951 --> 00:06:10,161
No, I'm sorry. He's out making deliveries.

77
00:06:10,245 --> 00:06:12,121
The regular delivery guy called in sick.

78
00:06:12,622 --> 00:06:14,373
But you don't look too sick to me, Murph.

79
00:06:14,458 --> 00:06:17,543
I forgot I was faking sick today.

80
00:06:18,795 --> 00:06:20,880
You two tricked me into coming here.

81
00:06:20,964 --> 00:06:23,132
Murph, put on an apron and give me a hand.

82
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You guys played me like a fiddle. Touché!

83
00:06:27,763 --> 00:06:30,473
- Is Mrs. Deeds around?
- Mrs. Deeds?

84
00:06:30,974 --> 00:06:32,767
I don't think that poor boy ever had a date.

85
00:06:33,143 --> 00:06:34,226
Do you know when he'll be back?

86
00:06:34,311 --> 00:06:36,812
Well, he'll be back before lunch is out.
Today's Card Day.

87
00:06:37,147 --> 00:06:39,190
- Card Day?
- Deeds writes greeting cards.

88
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Every Monday, he tries out a few
and then he chooses one

89
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and sends it
to one of the big card companies.

90
00:06:44,905 --> 00:06:48,574
Now, he hasn't sold any yet, but he will.

91
00:06:50,035 --> 00:06:51,869
You guys need anything else here?

92
00:06:52,370 --> 00:06:53,829
"To my sweetheart,

93
00:06:54,998 --> 00:07:00,628
"I love you completely, with all my soul.
Without you I'm nothing, a butterless roll."

94
00:07:02,214 --> 00:07:03,506
That's good.

95
00:07:03,590 --> 00:07:04,924
You like that, gentlemen?

96
00:07:06,176 --> 00:07:09,220
Hallmark said it showed some potential,
which is pretty cool.

97
00:07:09,304 --> 00:07:10,346
Longfellow Deeds?

98
00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:13,349
Just call me Deeds, pal.
Easy with that Longfellow stuff.

99
00:07:13,850 --> 00:07:15,142
Chuck Cedar, CEO.

100
00:07:15,227 --> 00:07:18,229
Cecil Anderson,
General Counsel of Blake Media.

101
00:07:18,313 --> 00:07:21,148
Hey, handshakes are for strangers.
We hug around here, buddy.

102
00:07:21,233 --> 00:07:23,901
What's up? What's up? Welcome to town.

103
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Come on, don't be shy.

104
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I like that beard. Abe Lincoln-style.
Have a seat, boys.

105
00:07:30,992 --> 00:07:32,159
- Murph!
- Yeah, Deeds?

106
00:07:32,244 --> 00:07:35,204
- I thought you were sick today.
- No. That was a lie, pal.

107
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Well, you fooled me.

108
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- I did?
- Oh, yeah.

109
00:07:38,208 --> 00:07:40,126
- Mr. Deeds?
- Just Deeds.

110
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You sounded so sick on the phone.

111
00:07:41,586 --> 00:07:43,546
You're good. Do that sick voice again.

112
00:07:44,256 --> 00:07:48,300
Deeds, I can't come to work today.
I think I got strep throat.

113
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That's unbelievable.
You could be a radio actor or something.

114
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- Thanks, buddy.
- Sure.

115
00:07:57,352 --> 00:08:00,771
Hey, Deeds. Read a card already.
I got to get back on duty.

116
00:08:01,773 --> 00:08:04,358
Okay. I'd better get up there.
Good meeting you, gentlemen.

117
00:08:04,442 --> 00:08:07,862
Mr. Deeds, does the name Preston Blake
mean anything to you?

118
00:08:07,946 --> 00:08:09,864
Well, Mom's maiden name was Blake.

119
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I only got one for you guys this week,

120
00:08:11,575 --> 00:08:14,160
but I got a feeling it's gonna
end my losing streak with Hallmark.

121
00:08:16,204 --> 00:08:19,081
Deeds, Preston Blake
was your mother's uncle.

122
00:08:19,166 --> 00:08:22,001
You're kidding me. I got an uncle?
That's awesome. How's he doing?

123
00:08:22,085 --> 00:08:23,752
He's dead.

124
00:08:23,837 --> 00:08:26,338
Oh, no. Well, if there's anything I can do...

125
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Deeds! Deeds! Deeds! Deeds!

126
00:08:28,675 --> 00:08:30,426
Okay. I'll be right with you guys.

127
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When Mr. Blake died,
he left an enormous fortune.

128
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$40 billion. He left it all to you, Deeds.

129
00:08:41,646 --> 00:08:43,230
Wait a minute.

130
00:08:44,399 --> 00:08:47,526
What are you talking about, you got
to get back on duty? You're not a cop.

131
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Yeah, you're right.
I got this down at the costume shop.

132
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But it can't hurt to pretend.

133
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What a wisenheimer!

134
00:08:55,493 --> 00:08:57,786
Okay, everybody, it's show time.

135
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I call this "50th Anniversary Card."

136
00:09:02,083 --> 00:09:03,792
Which is quite a feat nowadays.

137
00:09:04,628 --> 00:09:08,380
"Fifty years have passed by
with laughter and tears.

138
00:09:09,174 --> 00:09:13,219
"Do you remember when we went to the zoo,
and that time we drank all the beers?"

139
00:09:13,470 --> 00:09:15,763
Yeah. Beers! Oh, yeah.

140
00:09:16,973 --> 00:09:20,142
"I promise to love you for 50 years more,

141
00:09:21,061 --> 00:09:24,355
"even when your bosoms
sag down to the floor."

142
00:09:24,648 --> 00:09:28,359
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. That was awesome!
How's he do it?

143
00:09:32,155 --> 00:09:35,616
It looks like you won't have
to be delivering pizzas anymore, Deeds.

144
00:09:35,700 --> 00:09:37,368
Now you're a very rich man.

145
00:09:37,452 --> 00:09:39,828
What's that got to do with delivering pizzas?

146
00:09:40,038 --> 00:09:42,539
Ladies! The top one's yours.

147
00:09:42,624 --> 00:09:44,458
- Thank you, Deeds.
- Of course.

148
00:09:44,542 --> 00:09:46,961
- Yummy! Yummy!
- So, Deeds, what's new?

149
00:09:47,462 --> 00:09:50,130
I found out I have an uncle, but he died.

150
00:09:50,215 --> 00:09:51,590
That's too bad.

151
00:09:51,883 --> 00:09:53,509
He gave me $40 billion, though.

152
00:09:53,927 --> 00:09:56,262
- Well, that's nice.
- Oh, yeah!

153
00:09:56,346 --> 00:09:59,890
Don't you go and spend it all
on some fancy record player.

154
00:09:59,975 --> 00:10:00,933
I won't.

155
00:10:01,017 --> 00:10:02,977
Who are your friends, Deeds?

156
00:10:03,061 --> 00:10:07,690
I'm sorry.
Chuck, Cecil, this is Jane, Kitty, and Sue.

157
00:10:07,774 --> 00:10:09,692
Pleasure to meet you, Cecil.

158
00:10:09,985 --> 00:10:14,738
Pleasure's all mine, Kitty.
Or should I just say, "Meow"?

159
00:10:16,866 --> 00:10:19,201
Keep it in your pants, Anderson.

160
00:10:20,078 --> 00:10:24,832
- Now, why am I inheriting this money?
- You're Mr. Blake's closest living relative.

161
00:10:24,916 --> 00:10:27,668
- Really? He had nobody else?
- Nope, that's it.

162
00:10:27,752 --> 00:10:30,212
Gosh, I never even met the guy.

163
00:10:32,882 --> 00:10:35,134
Would you hold this for a second?

164
00:10:35,969 --> 00:10:38,345
Mr. Wetherley, how you doing, pal?

165
00:10:38,430 --> 00:10:41,473
Very well, Deeds.
Just going to the pharmacy.

166
00:10:41,558 --> 00:10:44,476
Well, let me get you there a little quicker.

167
00:10:47,063 --> 00:10:49,315
- How's your wife?
- She's fine.

168
00:10:49,399 --> 00:10:51,525
- Terrific. Say hi for me.
- I will.

169
00:10:51,609 --> 00:10:53,277
Okay. Here you go.

170
00:10:54,529 --> 00:10:57,406
- Thanks for the lift, Deeds.
- You got it.

171
00:11:00,201 --> 00:11:04,204
Deeds, we need you to come back
to New York with us. Just for a few days.

172
00:11:04,289 --> 00:11:06,498
We're drawing up some papers
that you'll need to sign.

173
00:11:06,791 --> 00:11:08,208
What kind of papers?

174
00:11:08,293 --> 00:11:12,504
You see, technically, you've inherited
300 million shares of Blake Media, Inc.

175
00:11:12,589 --> 00:11:14,798
Chuck and I,
along with some of the partners,

176
00:11:14,883 --> 00:11:18,010
are gonna buy that stock for $40 billion,

177
00:11:18,094 --> 00:11:19,636
which, of course,
we've had to borrow from various...

178
00:11:19,721 --> 00:11:21,847
Who cares about
all the financial mumbo jumbo?

179
00:11:21,931 --> 00:11:24,975
We just need a little bit of time
to dot the t's and cross the i's.

180
00:11:25,060 --> 00:11:28,228
And while we're doing that,
we need you to stay away from the press.

181
00:11:28,313 --> 00:11:31,940
All the media frenzy will die down
in a couple weeks, but until then...

182
00:11:32,025 --> 00:11:35,444
You don't want reporters crawling
all over this lovely little town, do you?

183
00:11:35,862 --> 00:11:36,862
Oh, no!

184
00:11:39,908 --> 00:11:42,117
- Crazy Eyes!
- What?

185
00:11:44,329 --> 00:11:46,288
- Hey, Deeds.
- How you doing, pal?

186
00:11:46,373 --> 00:11:48,791
I got your pizza for you,
just the way you like it.

187
00:11:48,875 --> 00:11:50,125
Oh, yes!

188
00:11:51,002 --> 00:11:54,088
French fries and Oreos.
You know me all too well, Deeds.

189
00:11:54,381 --> 00:11:55,631
What are you in for?

190
00:11:55,715 --> 00:11:58,384
I'm doing a one-nighter
for biting Ed the mailman.

191
00:11:58,468 --> 00:12:02,346
The guy was trying to cast a spell on me,
you know, like a wizard or something.

192
00:12:03,139 --> 00:12:06,975
- Are you sure about that?
- I don't know. Maybe he was just waving.

193
00:12:08,478 --> 00:12:09,561
Hey, who are your friends?

194
00:12:09,646 --> 00:12:11,814
This is Chuck and Cecil,
they're from New York.

195
00:12:13,525 --> 00:12:14,650
I don't like them.

196
00:12:15,568 --> 00:12:17,236
Okay. Nice seeing you.

197
00:12:18,321 --> 00:12:21,824
I've never been to New York before.
I suppose I could check out the sights.

198
00:12:22,158 --> 00:12:23,575
Give me an hour to pack, okay?

199
00:12:23,660 --> 00:12:24,743
You got it.

200
00:12:24,828 --> 00:12:26,703
Wow.
I'm gonna be the first guy to leave here

201
00:12:26,788 --> 00:12:28,914
since Jimmy McNally went to Disney World.

202
00:12:31,167 --> 00:12:34,420
See you later, everybody!
All right, Miss Kitty. Bye, bye.

203
00:12:36,131 --> 00:12:37,423
Tomorrow is Kids-Eat-For-Free Day,

204
00:12:37,507 --> 00:12:39,383
so don't forget to clean the highchairs,
all right?

205
00:12:39,467 --> 00:12:42,052
Don't worry about a thing, Deedsy,
I'll take care of everything.

206
00:12:42,137 --> 00:12:44,304
- You go. You have a good time!
- I'll miss you.

207
00:12:44,389 --> 00:12:46,223
Bye, Jan. Smell you later, Murph.

208
00:12:46,433 --> 00:12:47,850
Hey, Deeds.

209
00:12:48,351 --> 00:12:50,477
- Give us a card!
- Yeah!

210
00:12:52,647 --> 00:12:56,191
"On my way to the big city
for a business trip,

211
00:12:56,901 --> 00:13:01,155
"never ever left Mandrake Falls before,
ain't that a pip?

212
00:13:03,950 --> 00:13:07,703
"But while I'm gone,
I know I'll miss you all a lot.

213
00:13:08,079 --> 00:13:11,999
"So bring your rich butt back here,
and buy us all a shot!"

214
00:13:13,710 --> 00:13:14,793
You got it, pal.

215
00:13:19,757 --> 00:13:21,175
Take it easy.

216
00:13:29,934 --> 00:13:33,729
The biggest story of the year,
and we've got nothing?

217
00:13:34,522 --> 00:13:36,648
Do you people want
to be tabloid journalists?

218
00:13:36,733 --> 00:13:38,192
Because I don't think so.

219
00:13:38,526 --> 00:13:40,152
You've got to be ruthless.

220
00:13:40,236 --> 00:13:41,570
When I started out,

221
00:13:41,654 --> 00:13:43,822
I slept in Tom and Roseanne's dumpster
for two days

222
00:13:43,907 --> 00:13:46,200
disguised as a giant carton of ice cream.

223
00:13:46,284 --> 00:13:47,326
I got it!

224
00:13:47,869 --> 00:13:50,537
My source at Blake says
the company helicopter

225
00:13:50,622 --> 00:13:53,749
took off from there this afternoon
with two male passengers aboard

226
00:13:53,833 --> 00:13:55,792
- headed for Mandrake Falls.
- Where?

227
00:13:55,877 --> 00:13:57,961
It's some little hick-ass town
in New Hampshire.

228
00:13:58,046 --> 00:14:02,341
But now they're on their way back
with three male passengers.

229
00:14:02,634 --> 00:14:04,801
- That's one more!
- Duh!

230
00:14:05,720 --> 00:14:08,847
That third guy's our heir. Nice work, Marty.

231
00:14:08,932 --> 00:14:11,225
They were supposed to arrive
at Blake Media at 5:00.

232
00:14:11,309 --> 00:14:13,560
But they made an unscheduled stop
in Connecticut.

233
00:14:14,103 --> 00:14:16,313
I'm so happy I got the Big Bacon Classic.

234
00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:18,815
Thanks for stopping, buddy.
These are unbelievable.

235
00:14:18,900 --> 00:14:22,027
- Happy to do it, Deeds.
- How's that Frosty treating you, Cecil?

236
00:14:22,987 --> 00:14:24,738
You got some on your beard.

237
00:14:24,822 --> 00:14:27,866
I'm just kidding you. I got him big time, man.

238
00:14:28,785 --> 00:14:31,161
I'm going on the air in two hours' time.

239
00:14:31,246 --> 00:14:34,873
And I want that guy's life story by then.
I'm talking to you, Jim.

240
00:14:35,625 --> 00:14:37,918
And I'm also talking to you, Babe. Babe?

241
00:14:39,003 --> 00:14:40,337
Where the hell's Babe?

242
00:14:40,630 --> 00:14:43,298
You missed another staff meeting.
Mac's pissed.

243
00:14:43,383 --> 00:14:46,843
Well, he's not gonna be pissed
when I crack this Blake story.

244
00:14:46,928 --> 00:14:47,970
What do you got?

245
00:14:48,054 --> 00:14:50,138
Nothing. Do you have anything?

246
00:14:50,473 --> 00:14:52,182
I'll have a lot more in a few hours.

247
00:14:52,267 --> 00:14:53,934
Marty, you got to be a pal.

248
00:14:54,018 --> 00:14:57,729
I need this story.
I'm flat broke, and Mac is going to fire me.

249
00:14:57,814 --> 00:15:00,399
How're you flat broke?
You make more money than anyone here.

250
00:15:00,483 --> 00:15:01,525
What did you blow it on?

251
00:15:01,818 --> 00:15:02,901
Shoes.

252
00:15:03,319 --> 00:15:05,779
I'll tell you everything I know
over lunch tomorrow

253
00:15:05,863 --> 00:15:07,656
as long as your club promoter boyfriend

254
00:15:07,740 --> 00:15:10,200
doesn't try to run me over
with his motorcycle again.

255
00:15:10,535 --> 00:15:14,413
You're safe there. Ken and I kind of,
you know... We're taking a break.

256
00:15:14,497 --> 00:15:16,164
Really? So he moved out?

257
00:15:17,667 --> 00:15:20,502
Babe, what are you staying here for?
I have a spare bedroom.

258
00:15:20,753 --> 00:15:22,796
We tried that once, remember?

259
00:15:23,006 --> 00:15:27,134
I woke up and you were standing
over my bed, breathing heavily.

260
00:15:27,218 --> 00:15:30,220
I was having an asthma attack.
I couldn't find my puffer.

261
00:15:34,017 --> 00:15:37,853
Easy, fellows.
The Biggie Fries are making a comeback.

262
00:15:38,438 --> 00:15:40,188
You guys football fans?

263
00:15:40,273 --> 00:15:42,065
I think the Pats could take
the conference this year.

264
00:15:42,150 --> 00:15:45,277
I mean, the Dolphins are overrated,
and the Jets are choke artists.

265
00:15:45,778 --> 00:15:47,237
I wouldn't say that, Mr. Deeds.

266
00:15:47,488 --> 00:15:49,281
Just Deeds. Why is that, though?

267
00:15:49,365 --> 00:15:50,824
You own the Jets, Deeds.

268
00:15:50,908 --> 00:15:52,075
I do?

269
00:15:52,952 --> 00:15:55,537
Whoa, that sucks.

270
00:15:56,748 --> 00:16:00,125
Jeez, I hope they don't play the Pats
in the playoffs, or I'll have to kill myself.

271
00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:05,380
I'm still very worried about this.

272
00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:09,718
What do you got in that pipe, hashish?
You're paranoid.

273
00:16:09,802 --> 00:16:13,180
- This guy's perfect for us.
- What if he won't sell us his shares?

274
00:16:13,264 --> 00:16:15,140
If I got Preston Blake to trust me
with his company,

275
00:16:15,224 --> 00:16:16,558
I can get this moron to do the same.

276
00:16:16,893 --> 00:16:18,393
I mean, look at him.

277
00:16:44,087 --> 00:16:45,420
That's right, Anderson.

278
00:17:00,228 --> 00:17:01,269
Enough!

279
00:17:02,939 --> 00:17:04,106
Party pooper.

280
00:17:08,778 --> 00:17:10,237
Holy cow!

281
00:17:10,571 --> 00:17:12,155
What's up, New York?

282
00:17:12,949 --> 00:17:16,952
It's an honor to come
to the greatest city in the world!

283
00:17:24,293 --> 00:17:29,464
Congratulations, Deeds, you're now
the most eligible bachelor in New York.

284
00:17:29,549 --> 00:17:32,384
Well, jeez, I don't want to meet a girl
just because I'm wicked rich.

285
00:17:32,468 --> 00:17:34,720
Well, that's nice, but let's see
how you stick to your guns

286
00:17:34,804 --> 00:17:38,557
once you've paid a visit to one
of our many fine gentlemen's clubs.

287
00:17:38,641 --> 00:17:40,058
What?

288
00:17:40,143 --> 00:17:44,479
My father saved my mother. She was
figure skating and fell through the ice.

289
00:17:44,772 --> 00:17:48,442
I always thought I'd meet a girl, kind of,
the same way. Some bullspit like that.

290
00:17:48,526 --> 00:17:52,654
Well, then I'll just keep a lookout
for ladies in distress, as it were.

291
00:17:52,739 --> 00:17:55,073
- That'd be nice.
- Hey, Mandrake Falls!

292
00:17:55,825 --> 00:17:57,492
Security, stop that guy!

293
00:17:58,494 --> 00:17:59,828
Stop! Come back here!

294
00:17:59,912 --> 00:18:01,413
He's gonna get 100 grand for that picture.

295
00:18:01,497 --> 00:18:03,039
It'll be all over the news in an hour.

296
00:18:03,124 --> 00:18:05,792
Well, he deserves it with those
James Bond moves he just pulled.

297
00:18:05,877 --> 00:18:10,088
No, he deserves to get his throat cut,
the filthy spy. Come on, let's go.

298
00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:19,556
So this is where my uncle lived?

299
00:18:19,640 --> 00:18:23,185
Yes, sir.
For the last 35 years of his astonishing life.

300
00:18:23,478 --> 00:18:25,145
Boy, you kind of snuck up on me there.

301
00:18:25,229 --> 00:18:26,938
I am very, very sneaky, sir.

302
00:18:27,482 --> 00:18:29,816
I see that. My name's Deeds.

303
00:18:29,901 --> 00:18:32,569
I am Emilio, sir. I am your servant.

304
00:18:32,653 --> 00:18:36,198
Servant? I don't want a servant,
but if you want to be my friend, I'll take that.

305
00:18:37,784 --> 00:18:38,909
Friends.

306
00:18:39,494 --> 00:18:41,369
Yes, good friends.

307
00:18:42,538 --> 00:18:44,623
Would you like to go down
to your apartment, sir?

308
00:18:44,707 --> 00:18:46,792
I'm sure it's been an exhausting day.

309
00:18:47,376 --> 00:18:49,461
- That okay with you, Chuck?
- You'll be safe there.

310
00:18:49,545 --> 00:18:52,923
It'll take us a couple days
to get the papers drawn up for you to sign.

311
00:18:53,007 --> 00:18:55,133
- Go make yourself at home.
- Terrific.

312
00:18:55,218 --> 00:18:57,469
- Later.
- I will be with you shortly, sir.

313
00:18:57,553 --> 00:19:00,889
You got it. Hey, nice to meet you. I'm Deeds.

314
00:19:01,390 --> 00:19:04,142
- I'm Reuben, sir.
- This is a wicked nice elevator.

315
00:19:04,227 --> 00:19:07,479
Keep an eye on him, Emilio. Or it's your ass.

316
00:19:07,563 --> 00:19:09,064
It's nice to see you, too, sir.

317
00:19:09,398 --> 00:19:11,983
So how's the elevator business
treating you, Reuben?

318
00:19:12,068 --> 00:19:13,985
It has its ups and downs.

319
00:19:14,403 --> 00:19:18,198
All right! All right! That was good.

320
00:19:19,867 --> 00:19:22,160
Jeezum crow,
how'd you get down here so fast?

321
00:19:22,245 --> 00:19:24,955
Sneaky-sneaky, sir. Right this way.

322
00:19:28,918 --> 00:19:34,464
Wow.

323
00:19:36,259 --> 00:19:37,926
Is something the matter, sir?

324
00:19:40,596 --> 00:19:43,056
- That's an echo, sir.
- Yeah, you try it.

325
00:19:43,558 --> 00:19:45,600
- Me, sir?
- It's a lot of fun.

326
00:19:50,690 --> 00:19:52,440
Come on, you can do it louder than that.

327
00:20:01,117 --> 00:20:02,909
- Serious.
- Thank you, sir.

328
00:20:03,244 --> 00:20:05,662
Hey, buddy, how you doing?
You want to give it a shot?

329
00:20:08,499 --> 00:20:09,541
Nice.

330
00:20:11,878 --> 00:20:14,296
You guys want to join us?
Make a weird noise.

331
00:20:23,389 --> 00:20:27,100
That was a great time. Well, I'm kind of tired.
I'd like to go to sleep if I could.

332
00:20:27,184 --> 00:20:29,060
- This way, Mr. Deeds.
- Thank you very much.

333
00:20:29,145 --> 00:20:31,104
- Good night, everyone.
- Good night, Mr. Deeds.

334
00:20:38,946 --> 00:20:40,906
- Yeah?
- You just going to lie there

335
00:20:40,990 --> 00:20:42,365
and let the Post take your story?

336
00:20:57,089 --> 00:20:58,798
What's up, New York?

337
00:21:09,852 --> 00:21:12,896
He had a water fountain in his room. I love it.

338
00:21:21,197 --> 00:21:22,864
That's Hawaiian Punch.

339
00:21:23,658 --> 00:21:26,493
He adored Hawaiian Punch.

340
00:21:26,577 --> 00:21:30,830
Wow!
You kind ofjust snuck up on me there, man.

341
00:21:31,207 --> 00:21:34,501
I fear you're underestimating
the sneakiness, sir.

342
00:21:34,585 --> 00:21:37,462
Yeah. I guess I was.
What are you doing down there?

343
00:21:37,546 --> 00:21:40,131
I am assisting you with your sock change.

344
00:21:40,383 --> 00:21:41,633
You're gonna change my socks for me?

345
00:21:41,717 --> 00:21:43,510
You don't got to do that.
Come on, stand up.

346
00:21:43,594 --> 00:21:44,594
Thank you, sir.

347
00:21:44,679 --> 00:21:46,846
Besides, you don't want
to have to touch my right foot.

348
00:21:46,931 --> 00:21:51,059
I got wicked bad frostbite
when I was in the Scouts. Check it out.

349
00:21:56,440 --> 00:21:57,983
Pretty messed up, huh?

350
00:21:58,067 --> 00:22:02,404
The hideousness of that foot
will haunt my dreams forever.

351
00:22:03,197 --> 00:22:04,864
Yeah, I've heard that before.

352
00:22:05,157 --> 00:22:08,034
But the weird thing is
I got no feeling left in it.

353
00:22:08,119 --> 00:22:11,121
So you could, like, jump on it
and it wouldn't hurt me.

354
00:22:11,205 --> 00:22:12,205
Go ahead, jump on it.

355
00:22:12,873 --> 00:22:14,582
I would really rather not, sir.

356
00:22:14,667 --> 00:22:16,418
Please. Please jump on my foot.

357
00:22:26,595 --> 00:22:27,887
Yeah. I didn't feel that.

358
00:22:27,972 --> 00:22:32,350
What else you got? Hey, get that fireplace
poker right there and just whack my foot.

359
00:22:32,435 --> 00:22:36,062
- Do I absolutely have to?
- It's gonna be fun. Just grab it.

360
00:22:37,732 --> 00:22:40,608
All my friends do this when they're wasted.

361
00:22:41,027 --> 00:22:42,152
Come on.

362
00:22:43,279 --> 00:22:44,738
Go ahead, give it a whack.

363
00:22:48,451 --> 00:22:49,701
- Nothing.
- Really?

364
00:22:49,785 --> 00:22:51,077
Isn't that sick?

365
00:22:52,621 --> 00:22:56,041
Didn't feel that. Isn't that awesome?
Go ahead. Nothing.

366
00:22:56,125 --> 00:22:57,459
Yeah. I know.

367
00:22:57,543 --> 00:23:00,545
I know you're starting to like it, aren't you?
Chop that wood!

368
00:23:00,629 --> 00:23:02,172
Yeah. That's it!

369
00:23:03,841 --> 00:23:07,260
You're sick! You're sick!
Why would you do that to me?

370
00:23:07,344 --> 00:23:08,595
I'm just kidding you, pal.

371
00:23:10,598 --> 00:23:12,724
You had me going there.

372
00:23:12,808 --> 00:23:14,642
I saw your face, you were like...

373
00:23:15,978 --> 00:23:18,146
Anyway, I gotta talk to Cedar and Anderson,

374
00:23:18,230 --> 00:23:19,606
find out what I'm supposed
to be doing today.

375
00:23:19,690 --> 00:23:22,150
So could you take that out of my foot?
I'm nailed to the ground here.

376
00:23:23,903 --> 00:23:24,944
There you go.

377
00:23:25,446 --> 00:23:28,740
I must insist on absolute secrecy
regarding this discussion

378
00:23:28,824 --> 00:23:31,284
till I've officially acquired
Mr. Blake's shares.

379
00:23:31,368 --> 00:23:33,453
If that's acceptable to you,
then as far as I'm concerned

380
00:23:33,537 --> 00:23:36,164
you've just bought 2,000 radio stations.

381
00:23:37,833 --> 00:23:38,875
Morning.

382
00:23:40,461 --> 00:23:41,461
Deeds.

383
00:23:41,962 --> 00:23:43,088
What's up?

384
00:23:43,506 --> 00:23:44,964
Doing a little business.

385
00:23:48,260 --> 00:23:51,054
This room's an echo room, too.
I'm sure you guys already knew that.

386
00:23:52,932 --> 00:23:53,932
May I help you?

387
00:23:54,016 --> 00:23:57,393
I just wanted to see
if there's anything I should be doing today.

388
00:23:58,562 --> 00:24:00,438
Well, I think we've got
everything under control.

389
00:24:00,523 --> 00:24:01,940
Well, there's got to be something.

390
00:24:02,024 --> 00:24:05,860
I mean, until I sign those papers,
I kind of own this place, right?

391
00:24:06,987 --> 00:24:08,029
What?

392
00:24:12,326 --> 00:24:13,952
Anderson, what's up, buddy?

393
00:24:14,036 --> 00:24:16,121
I was dreaming about Frosties all last night.
You?

394
00:24:16,205 --> 00:24:18,706
I tried to make my own at home,
but it just wasn't the same.

395
00:24:20,501 --> 00:24:21,501
Deeds.

396
00:24:21,585 --> 00:24:25,505
Every stockholder, large and small,
has a say in the operation of this company.

397
00:24:25,589 --> 00:24:27,841
And they have this say
at the annual stockholders' meeting.

398
00:24:27,925 --> 00:24:32,345
The other 364 days of the year, the officers
of the company, like me, run the show.

399
00:24:32,638 --> 00:24:34,222
You mean now that my uncle's gone.

400
00:24:34,682 --> 00:24:37,225
Yeah, and it's not all fun and games.

401
00:24:37,309 --> 00:24:40,562
This company is a player on so many levels
and in so many areas

402
00:24:40,646 --> 00:24:43,898
that running it is literally
a 24-hour-a-day job.

403
00:24:44,525 --> 00:24:47,110
I mean,
I only got three hours of sleep last night.

404
00:24:47,444 --> 00:24:50,113
Then it's actually a 21 -hour-a-day job, huh?

405
00:24:50,614 --> 00:24:53,575
Move it, lady.
I don't give a damn about no meeting.

406
00:24:53,659 --> 00:24:55,577
- Mr. Cedar, I am sorry...
- Hey!

407
00:24:55,661 --> 00:24:59,873
I passed for 3,500 yards last season,
and I ain't even gonna touch a football

408
00:24:59,957 --> 00:25:04,419
until you get off your fat, rich asses
and renegotiate my bullshit contract.

409
00:25:04,503 --> 00:25:06,504
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Easy with the language, buddy.

410
00:25:06,589 --> 00:25:07,797
There are ladies present.

411
00:25:09,466 --> 00:25:11,843
Shut the hell up, rich boy!

412
00:25:12,511 --> 00:25:16,014
I want more money,
or y'all can just suck my...

413
00:25:20,686 --> 00:25:21,811
I warned you.

414
00:25:23,189 --> 00:25:26,983
You went down like a sack of potatoes,
I'll tell you that much. Come on.

415
00:25:28,819 --> 00:25:31,321
Come on, big man. Upsy-daisy.

416
00:25:33,115 --> 00:25:34,365
Football!

417
00:25:35,159 --> 00:25:37,285
What's the problem with your contract?

418
00:25:37,912 --> 00:25:41,915
You know, I figured if I played well,
I'd renegotiate and get more money.

419
00:25:42,333 --> 00:25:45,543
If you didn't play well,
could we renegotiate and pay you less?

420
00:25:45,628 --> 00:25:46,920
Shit, no!

421
00:25:47,296 --> 00:25:49,047
I mean, no.

422
00:25:49,965 --> 00:25:51,799
- Doesn't seem fair to me.
- Deeds.

423
00:25:52,301 --> 00:25:54,093
Kevin led the League in touchdown passes.

424
00:25:54,178 --> 00:25:55,637
That's okay, Chuck. I got this one.

425
00:25:56,889 --> 00:25:59,599
Listen, fellows, I want more money,

426
00:25:59,683 --> 00:26:01,935
or I ain't even gonna play another down.

427
00:26:05,272 --> 00:26:07,357
Well, we're gonna have to let you go then.

428
00:26:08,442 --> 00:26:09,484
Let me go?

429
00:26:09,985 --> 00:26:11,277
Yeah, you're fired.

430
00:26:12,905 --> 00:26:14,405
So can I sign with another team?

431
00:26:14,490 --> 00:26:17,408
You can do anything you want,
but I suggest you change your attitude,

432
00:26:17,493 --> 00:26:18,868
or nobody's gonna want to work with you.

433
00:26:21,288 --> 00:26:22,288
Bye.

434
00:26:23,832 --> 00:26:26,918
Deeds, Kevin won the Heisman Trophy
two years ago.

435
00:26:27,002 --> 00:26:30,129
- He is our best player.
- Don't worry about it, he'll be back.

436
00:26:30,214 --> 00:26:32,173
Biggest mistake of your lives!

437
00:26:33,217 --> 00:26:34,926
- This thing's cool.
- Hey.

438
00:26:35,010 --> 00:26:39,055
Why don't you get out and enjoy the city?
Everything's fine here. Take that with you.

439
00:26:39,139 --> 00:26:42,433
No, I'll leave it here. That's all right.
But call me if you need me, all right?

440
00:26:42,518 --> 00:26:45,270
- Absolutely.
- Thanks. Love you, Anderson.

441
00:26:45,854 --> 00:26:50,108
All you guys, I noticed you were French.
The opposite of bonjourto you.

442
00:26:53,362 --> 00:26:55,113
You look so hot as a blond.

443
00:26:55,197 --> 00:26:58,116
You don't think it's too streaky?
I feel like he did it really streaky.

444
00:26:58,200 --> 00:27:01,286
No, I love it, but you should let me go
undercover. This could get dangerous.

445
00:27:01,370 --> 00:27:05,039
No. He said he likes ladies in distress,
not men who wear too much cologne.

446
00:27:05,582 --> 00:27:07,959
- There he is.
- Thanks for the New York City tour, Tommy.

447
00:27:08,043 --> 00:27:11,421
- You're welcome, Deeds.
- Hidden cameras on, ready to go. Molest me.

448
00:27:12,589 --> 00:27:14,507
- Marty, molest me!
- You got it!

449
00:27:14,591 --> 00:27:16,634
- Oh, God. Help!
- Yeah. Come on. Give it to me.

450
00:27:16,719 --> 00:27:18,970
- Help, I'm being mugged!
- All right! Come on!

451
00:27:19,054 --> 00:27:21,597
Help! Help! I'm being mugged!

452
00:27:21,682 --> 00:27:24,183
- Stop it!
- Good luck. See you at the office.

453
00:27:26,145 --> 00:27:28,646
- Don't worry, I'll get him.
- Oh, shit!

454
00:27:28,731 --> 00:27:30,523
Stop! Stop right there.

455
00:27:36,363 --> 00:27:37,613
Come on!

456
00:27:41,869 --> 00:27:43,494
What's your problem, pal?

457
00:27:50,753 --> 00:27:51,878
Come up here.

458
00:27:53,630 --> 00:27:56,549
Got your pocketbook. Get a job, pal.

459
00:27:58,969 --> 00:28:00,428
Miss! Miss!

460
00:28:00,512 --> 00:28:03,306
- Are you okay?
- What happened?

461
00:28:03,390 --> 00:28:05,099
Let me help you up.

462
00:28:05,976 --> 00:28:07,977
All right, now. All right.

463
00:28:13,859 --> 00:28:17,153
Ma'am, you were just the victim
of a New York City mugger.

464
00:28:17,237 --> 00:28:19,697
As I suspected,
he was a coward and a weakling.

465
00:28:19,782 --> 00:28:22,533
And also wore more cologne
than any man should wear.

466
00:28:22,618 --> 00:28:25,578
- I got this back for you, though.
- Thank you.

467
00:28:26,580 --> 00:28:29,415
- Can I take you to the hospital?
- No, no.

468
00:28:30,376 --> 00:28:34,796
I'll be all right.
I just feel a little dizzy and violated.

469
00:28:35,672 --> 00:28:37,006
I'm fine.

470
00:28:38,801 --> 00:28:42,804
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Please,
let me take you to the emergency room.

471
00:28:43,806 --> 00:28:48,935
I'm sure I'll be all right.
I just need to perhaps walk it off or...

472
00:28:49,019 --> 00:28:50,728
- Could you?
- Sure. Sure.

473
00:28:50,813 --> 00:28:52,146
Thank you.

474
00:28:53,023 --> 00:28:54,690
Thank you so much.

475
00:28:55,609 --> 00:28:58,277
My name's Pam. Pam Dawson.

476
00:28:58,904 --> 00:29:03,199
My name is Deeds. I'm not from here.
I'm just visiting.

477
00:29:04,660 --> 00:29:06,661
Where do you hail from, Deeds?

478
00:29:06,745 --> 00:29:11,290
Mandrake Falls, New Hampshire.
Just a little town nobody's ever heard of.

479
00:29:11,875 --> 00:29:14,585
I'm from a little town like that.

480
00:29:14,670 --> 00:29:17,588
- In lowa.
- Is that right? What part?

481
00:29:19,007 --> 00:29:22,135
Winchestertonfieldville.

482
00:29:23,554 --> 00:29:27,682
Yes, the small town
of Winchestertonfieldville, lowa.

483
00:29:31,186 --> 00:29:32,186
I'm sorry.

484
00:29:32,896 --> 00:29:36,107
- So what are you doing in New York?
- I'm a school nurse.

485
00:29:36,191 --> 00:29:37,942
There's no way you're a school nurse.

486
00:29:38,235 --> 00:29:40,278
Why don't you believe me?

487
00:29:40,737 --> 00:29:42,864
You're too nice to be a school nurse.

488
00:29:43,365 --> 00:29:47,118
My school nurse was so mean. Every time
I would tell her I had a tummy ache,

489
00:29:47,202 --> 00:29:50,079
she'd send me back to my class
and say, "Stop whining."

490
00:29:50,164 --> 00:29:51,622
But that's awful!

491
00:29:51,707 --> 00:29:53,124
Well, I said it every day.

492
00:29:55,294 --> 00:29:56,711
I missed my mother.

493
00:29:57,546 --> 00:29:59,046
That's sweet.

494
00:30:00,132 --> 00:30:01,507
Miss Dawson?

495
00:30:02,217 --> 00:30:07,555
How would you like to maybe go out
and have a New York City dinner with me?

496
00:30:08,098 --> 00:30:09,599
Golly. Well...

497
00:30:10,809 --> 00:30:12,393
That sounds wonderful.

498
00:30:12,728 --> 00:30:14,187
- It does?
- Yeah.

499
00:30:14,730 --> 00:30:16,981
- Let's do it, then.
- Okay.

500
00:30:18,442 --> 00:30:20,401
Damn you, Old Spice.

501
00:30:23,614 --> 00:30:27,408
So you run this pizza place
and you have your poetry.

502
00:30:28,076 --> 00:30:30,203
So what brings you to the big city?

503
00:30:30,496 --> 00:30:33,206
Actually, I just inherited $40 billion.

504
00:30:34,249 --> 00:30:38,419
Well, that's nice, but I think anything
over $30 billion's just gravy.

505
00:30:41,465 --> 00:30:42,715
I like that.

506
00:30:43,800 --> 00:30:46,677
Your hair is very blond and pretty.

507
00:30:46,762 --> 00:30:50,097
I'm of Swedish ancestry.

508
00:30:50,891 --> 00:30:52,433
- Really?
- Yes.

509
00:30:53,310 --> 00:30:56,270
My grandfather was in ABBA.

510
00:30:57,606 --> 00:30:59,106
ABBA, the band?

511
00:30:59,691 --> 00:31:03,569
Excuse me,
do you get any famous people in here?

512
00:31:03,654 --> 00:31:05,196
Famous, rich, powerful.

513
00:31:05,280 --> 00:31:08,115
Really? We don't get
any famous people in Mandrake Falls.

514
00:31:08,200 --> 00:31:10,701
Actually, Stephen King stopped by
our gas station one time,

515
00:31:10,786 --> 00:31:12,620
but everybody was too scared to talk to him.

516
00:31:13,080 --> 00:31:14,789
I'd imagine he'd be very spooky.

517
00:31:15,123 --> 00:31:18,084
Jake, the gas station attendant,
made eye contact with him.

518
00:31:18,627 --> 00:31:20,795
That night he lost 200 pounds.

519
00:31:22,923 --> 00:31:23,923
Wow.

520
00:31:24,716 --> 00:31:26,968
Anyway, your chicken parmesan
should be ready soon.

521
00:31:27,052 --> 00:31:28,886
Okay, buddy. Hey, you know what?

522
00:31:28,971 --> 00:31:31,305
I saw a couple over there.
It's their anniversary.

523
00:31:31,848 --> 00:31:34,725
Give them this.
Don't say it's from us, though.

524
00:31:35,519 --> 00:31:36,894
This is, like, $20,000.

525
00:31:36,979 --> 00:31:39,272
Tell them it was like a restaurant giveaway,
or something like that.

526
00:31:39,481 --> 00:31:40,898
Thanks, buddy.

527
00:31:42,025 --> 00:31:45,111
That's an awfully nice way
to start spending your money.

528
00:31:45,195 --> 00:31:47,530
- Is that who I think it is?
- Who?

529
00:31:48,073 --> 00:31:50,950
Preston Blake's nephew, the $40 billion man.

530
00:31:51,910 --> 00:31:53,869
We have to meet him. Dave?

531
00:31:54,162 --> 00:31:57,164
Gosh, I hope that mugger got home okay.

532
00:31:57,499 --> 00:31:58,874
- Mr. Deeds.
- Yeah.

533
00:31:58,959 --> 00:32:02,420
Mr. Simonds would like
to invite you to join his party.

534
00:32:02,504 --> 00:32:04,088
Why is that?

535
00:32:04,172 --> 00:32:08,384
- Just to enjoy the pleasure of your company.
- Wow, that's pretty cool of him.

536
00:32:12,764 --> 00:32:14,849
Well, that was a very nice hug, Deeds.

537
00:32:14,933 --> 00:32:18,269
It's wicked nice of you guys
to invite us over here. This is awesome.

538
00:32:18,353 --> 00:32:19,395
Have we met?

539
00:32:19,730 --> 00:32:21,355
Not unless you have a sick kid.

540
00:32:22,024 --> 00:32:25,359
You're a very important man
in this town now, Mr. Deeds.

541
00:32:25,444 --> 00:32:26,611
I don't know about that.

542
00:32:26,695 --> 00:32:28,654
I sing at the Metropolitan Opera,

543
00:32:28,739 --> 00:32:32,450
and Blake Media contributes
50% of our budget.

544
00:32:32,534 --> 00:32:34,452
So, on behalf of the opera...

545
00:32:34,536 --> 00:32:40,082
Thank you

546
00:32:41,877 --> 00:32:43,294
That was awesome!

547
00:32:43,378 --> 00:32:46,547
You shouldn't be thanking me, though.
You should be thanking my great-uncle.

548
00:32:46,715 --> 00:32:48,257
He was a pretty interesting man.

549
00:32:48,342 --> 00:32:50,176
I served on the board
of the Guggenheim with him.

550
00:32:50,260 --> 00:32:53,387
Really? I'm not sure what that is,
but good luck with it.

551
00:32:55,182 --> 00:32:57,808
You know, I would love to write a piece
on you for The New Yorker.

552
00:32:57,893 --> 00:32:59,185
What's The New Yorker?

553
00:33:00,228 --> 00:33:01,520
It's a magazine.

554
00:33:02,397 --> 00:33:05,232
With essays, witty cartoons.

555
00:33:05,901 --> 00:33:09,737
I redd the Mandrake Falls Gazette
and they got some cartoons in there also.

556
00:33:09,821 --> 00:33:12,448
You know who's a riot?
That Beetle Bailey guy.

557
00:33:12,532 --> 00:33:14,950
He's always wearing his hat
and doing his thing.

558
00:33:15,827 --> 00:33:18,913
But it is an honor to meet
a real writer such as yourself, George.

559
00:33:18,997 --> 00:33:20,831
I've been trying
to get my stuff published for years,

560
00:33:20,916 --> 00:33:23,125
but that Hallmark
is one tough cookie to crack.

561
00:33:23,585 --> 00:33:24,627
Hallmark?

562
00:33:25,003 --> 00:33:26,879
He writes greeting cards.

563
00:33:26,963 --> 00:33:28,005
I try.

564
00:33:28,090 --> 00:33:30,216
You must share one with us.

565
00:33:30,425 --> 00:33:32,385
I don't know about that, Mr. French.

566
00:33:32,469 --> 00:33:33,928
Who's Mr. French?

567
00:33:34,012 --> 00:33:35,346
Doesn't he look like Mr. French?

568
00:33:35,430 --> 00:33:37,098
I've never heard of him.

569
00:33:37,766 --> 00:33:39,684
- Come on.
- All right. All right, I'll give you one.

570
00:33:39,768 --> 00:33:41,602
This is a Mother's Day card
I've been working on.

571
00:33:42,521 --> 00:33:46,941
"Mom, you are the one
who brought me to Planet Earth.

572
00:33:47,567 --> 00:33:51,028
"You are the one who suffered
through my 14-hour birth.

573
00:33:51,488 --> 00:33:55,324
"You are the one who made lemonade for me
after I'd come back from play.

574
00:33:55,826 --> 00:33:59,912
"I love you, Mom,
so have a wicked nice Mother's Day."

575
00:34:00,414 --> 00:34:01,455
Something like that.

576
00:34:02,666 --> 00:34:03,791
An instant classic!

577
00:34:03,875 --> 00:34:05,835
Genius, genius, genius

578
00:34:06,294 --> 00:34:08,295
Do you write your poems
with a crayon, Deeds?

579
00:34:12,634 --> 00:34:13,884
It's amazing!

580
00:34:15,262 --> 00:34:18,305
I see why you brought me here.
To goof on me, huh?

581
00:34:18,640 --> 00:34:19,890
Don't be silly, Deeds.

582
00:34:19,975 --> 00:34:21,308
Pipe down, George.

583
00:34:22,060 --> 00:34:24,770
I may seem funny to you,
but if you came to Mandrake Falls,

584
00:34:24,855 --> 00:34:26,313
you might seem funny to us.

585
00:34:26,398 --> 00:34:28,691
Only nobody would laugh at you
and make you feel stupid,

586
00:34:28,775 --> 00:34:29,984
'cause that wouldn't be good manners.

587
00:34:30,736 --> 00:34:34,321
Maybe my poems aren't that great,
but I know some people who like them.

588
00:34:34,740 --> 00:34:36,282
Anyways, it's the best I can do.

589
00:34:36,825 --> 00:34:38,743
Okay. Well, we're going to get going.

590
00:34:38,827 --> 00:34:41,495
Sorry about that, Pam.
I hope I didn't embarrass you.

591
00:34:47,085 --> 00:34:50,504
And if it wasn't for Miss Dawson being here,
I'd probably knock your heads in.

592
00:34:50,589 --> 00:34:52,840
- I don't mind.
- Okay.

593
00:34:57,053 --> 00:34:58,512
No

594
00:35:04,603 --> 00:35:08,731
I think I just shat myself.

595
00:35:09,357 --> 00:35:11,734
How would you like to go
see the sights now, Miss Dawson?

596
00:35:11,818 --> 00:35:14,361
Yes. I just need to powder my nose.

597
00:35:14,446 --> 00:35:15,905
That'd be great. I'll get your coat.

598
00:35:15,989 --> 00:35:17,406
- Okay.
- Okay.

599
00:35:17,491 --> 00:35:21,327
Hey, buddy, this will pay for everything
I damaged. Sorry about that.

600
00:35:21,411 --> 00:35:23,120
- Good to meet you guys.
- Thank you.

601
00:35:23,830 --> 00:35:27,041
God, that was good stuff. Yes, yes, yes, yes.

602
00:35:29,044 --> 00:35:30,503
I want a raise, Mac.

603
00:35:32,589 --> 00:35:33,964
Yes. Yes.

604
00:35:34,925 --> 00:35:36,467
Hey, man! What's up?

605
00:35:37,052 --> 00:35:39,386
Holy cannoli, you're John McEnroe!

606
00:35:39,554 --> 00:35:42,598
Hey, I saw what you did to those guys
who were making fun of you. Nice work.

607
00:35:42,891 --> 00:35:45,434
You know what it's like to get riled up,
don't you, Johnny Mac?

608
00:35:45,519 --> 00:35:46,685
That I do.

609
00:35:47,145 --> 00:35:48,312
I'm Deeds, by the way.

610
00:35:48,605 --> 00:35:49,980
Deeds, nice to meet you.

611
00:35:50,065 --> 00:35:54,151
- You got to let me buy you a drink.
- Miss Dawson, this is John McEnroe.

612
00:35:54,236 --> 00:35:56,570
- Hello.
- Miss Dawson, nice to meet you.

613
00:35:56,655 --> 00:35:58,072
Nice to meet you, too.

614
00:35:58,156 --> 00:36:00,699
I kind of promised Miss Dawson
I'd take her out sightseeing.

615
00:36:00,784 --> 00:36:03,619
Look, the sights are great.
I've seen the sights. I love the sights.

616
00:36:04,079 --> 00:36:06,539
Let me show you a New York
most people will never see.

617
00:36:07,582 --> 00:36:10,876
- That okay with you, Miss Dawson?
- Sounds like fun!

618
00:36:10,961 --> 00:36:13,254
Here's to a big night on the town.

619
00:36:14,047 --> 00:36:15,172
Okay.

620
00:36:15,257 --> 00:36:16,257
Yes!

621
00:36:26,017 --> 00:36:27,852
What happened?

622
00:36:27,936 --> 00:36:30,187
Here are some aspirins, Mr. Deeds.

623
00:36:30,272 --> 00:36:32,481
They make your head seem smaller.

624
00:36:36,069 --> 00:36:37,862
How did I get in these pajamas?

625
00:36:37,946 --> 00:36:38,946
I changed you.

626
00:36:39,865 --> 00:36:41,657
I was very gentle, sir.

627
00:36:42,951 --> 00:36:46,287
I think I drank all the alcohol
in Manhattan last night.

628
00:36:46,454 --> 00:36:49,665
And you nearly succeeded
according to Miss Dawson.

629
00:36:50,584 --> 00:36:54,420
Miss Dawson. I don't even remember
taking her home. Is she okay?

630
00:36:54,504 --> 00:36:57,256
I took the liberty of sending her off
in the company limousine.

631
00:36:57,340 --> 00:37:00,301
She was a lady in distress and I helped her.

632
00:37:01,136 --> 00:37:02,803
Dreamt about her last night.

633
00:37:03,346 --> 00:37:06,140
Usually when you get blackout drunk,
you don't dream.

634
00:37:07,642 --> 00:37:08,726
So I read.

635
00:37:13,315 --> 00:37:14,648
What's up, Chuck?

636
00:37:18,153 --> 00:37:20,154
America's newest billionaire...

637
00:37:21,907 --> 00:37:23,115
...stupid and drunk.

638
00:37:23,199 --> 00:37:24,241
What's this?

639
00:37:24,326 --> 00:37:26,827
Well, it was quite a night
for Longfellow Deeds.

640
00:37:27,120 --> 00:37:30,080
Oh, no.
They're gonna know my name's Longfellow.

641
00:37:30,165 --> 00:37:32,541
After punching out some society types,

642
00:37:34,294 --> 00:37:38,714
Deeds joined forces with the original
bad boy of tennis, John McEnroe.

643
00:37:38,798 --> 00:37:41,258
And stupidity won in straight sets.

644
00:37:48,516 --> 00:37:50,059
How'd they get that footage?

645
00:37:50,644 --> 00:37:52,186
Watch out, Johnny!

646
00:37:54,856 --> 00:37:58,275
What kind of driving is that?
You're a... disgrace!

647
00:37:58,526 --> 00:38:00,611
No, sir. You're a disgrace.

648
00:38:00,904 --> 00:38:02,780
- We did it, man!
- Johnny McEnroe!

649
00:38:02,864 --> 00:38:06,575
Look at Deedsy hanging out with McEnroe!
That's awesome!

650
00:38:07,535 --> 00:38:09,161
I love the Beach Boys.

651
00:38:09,913 --> 00:38:12,039
Here I go, here I go.

652
00:38:14,626 --> 00:38:17,419
This is not the kind of attention
we need right now.

653
00:38:17,504 --> 00:38:18,504
What do you mean?

654
00:38:18,588 --> 00:38:21,715
For the moment,
you are the largest stockholder,

655
00:38:21,800 --> 00:38:23,842
and people might think
any instability you show

656
00:38:23,927 --> 00:38:26,553
may equal instability in the company.

657
00:38:30,517 --> 00:38:31,725
My bad.

658
00:38:33,603 --> 00:38:35,771
My bad. My bad.

659
00:38:35,855 --> 00:38:36,897
Okay. Okay.

660
00:38:36,982 --> 00:38:38,065
- My bad.
- Okay.

661
00:38:38,149 --> 00:38:41,151
Shall I call your car, Mr. Cedar,
to take you to the funeral?

662
00:38:41,236 --> 00:38:42,736
What funeral?

663
00:38:43,613 --> 00:38:46,323
- Your great-uncle's funeral.
- His funeral's today?

664
00:38:46,408 --> 00:38:47,408
Today, yes.

665
00:38:47,742 --> 00:38:49,618
I'll go get my suit on.

666
00:38:57,043 --> 00:38:59,169
- Cute, bigmouth.
- Sir?

667
00:38:59,754 --> 00:39:01,672
As soon as that moron goes back
to Cowpie Falls,

668
00:39:01,756 --> 00:39:04,591
you are out of here
on your fat Puerto Rican ass.

669
00:39:09,597 --> 00:39:11,515
I hail from Spain, sir.

670
00:39:20,150 --> 00:39:24,445
Now, Brother Preston is soaring
with eagles high above.

671
00:39:25,488 --> 00:39:28,323
Because he lived a life of love.

672
00:39:29,701 --> 00:39:32,536
Yes, he's flying way up high

673
00:39:33,496 --> 00:39:35,956
because he was a super cool guy.

674
00:39:37,417 --> 00:39:40,794
He's gone away, too soon, it seems,

675
00:39:41,421 --> 00:39:44,590
leaving behind his unfinished dreams.

676
00:39:44,674 --> 00:39:47,384
This guy could make a fortune
writing greeting cards.

677
00:39:47,469 --> 00:39:50,304
Yes, we remember Preston Blake.

678
00:39:50,847 --> 00:39:53,682
A man with faith no man could shake.

679
00:39:54,517 --> 00:39:56,685
A strength no man could break.

680
00:39:57,228 --> 00:39:59,730
A character no man could fake.

681
00:40:00,523 --> 00:40:03,150
For goodness sake, let's eat some cake.

682
00:40:03,485 --> 00:40:05,819
- Amen.
- Amen.

683
00:40:06,821 --> 00:40:09,782
Excuse me, Reverend, that was a grand slam.

684
00:40:09,866 --> 00:40:12,910
I mean, that part with soaring
with the eagles gave me goose bumps.

685
00:40:12,994 --> 00:40:14,369
Thank you, my brother.

686
00:40:14,454 --> 00:40:16,246
My friend got me a mug for my birthday.

687
00:40:16,331 --> 00:40:20,167
It says, "It's hard to soar with the eagles
when you're surrounded by turkeys."

688
00:40:20,376 --> 00:40:23,462
- But what you said was better.
- It's all good.

689
00:40:24,214 --> 00:40:25,881
Rest in peace, Preston.

690
00:40:26,299 --> 00:40:28,133
That concludes today's service.

691
00:40:29,677 --> 00:40:32,012
I actually, I thought I would say something.

692
00:40:33,765 --> 00:40:36,350
Deedsy was always the best speaker
in school.

693
00:40:36,976 --> 00:40:37,976
Deedsy?

694
00:40:38,061 --> 00:40:40,020
Awesome job, by the way, Your Majesty.

695
00:40:40,396 --> 00:40:43,023
I thought we were watching Scooby-Doo.

696
00:40:43,399 --> 00:40:47,569
Hi, my name is Deeds.
I was Preston Blake's great-nephew.

697
00:40:47,987 --> 00:40:51,323
I wrote a poem for him
on my way over here, in my head.

698
00:40:51,658 --> 00:40:54,076
And I'm going to recite it for you.

699
00:40:54,744 --> 00:40:58,205
I didn't realize I'd be following
the rhyme-master Reverend Sharpton.

700
00:40:59,207 --> 00:41:00,749
But here we go anyways.

701
00:41:01,501 --> 00:41:04,461
"You climbed mountains
and built skyscrapers

702
00:41:05,672 --> 00:41:09,550
"You made TV shows
and put out newspapers

703
00:41:11,219 --> 00:41:13,846
"You were wicked good at doing stocks

704
00:41:14,973 --> 00:41:17,432
"You liked it when Emilio
would change your socks

705
00:41:19,060 --> 00:41:21,854
"We never hung out and that makes me sad

706
00:41:22,772 --> 00:41:25,107
"All the good times we could've had"

707
00:41:25,817 --> 00:41:27,234
Nice rhyme.

708
00:41:27,610 --> 00:41:31,071
"But when I die, Uncle Preston,
you'd better say, 'Cheers! '

709
00:41:31,948 --> 00:41:34,616
"'Cause me and you are hanging
at the pearly gates

710
00:41:34,701 --> 00:41:38,495
"I'll bring the beers, I'll bring the beers"

711
00:41:39,330 --> 00:41:40,414
He's good.

712
00:41:40,915 --> 00:41:41,957
Amen.

713
00:41:42,041 --> 00:41:45,460
Now, I know this is supposed to be
a closed casket, but where I come from

714
00:41:45,545 --> 00:41:49,214
we feel it's good to see the body
for the grieving process, so...

715
00:41:52,343 --> 00:41:55,345
Sorry about that! I'll keep this sucker closed.

716
00:41:59,934 --> 00:42:01,768
He's still pretty frozen.

717
00:42:02,437 --> 00:42:03,645
Almost there.

718
00:42:06,232 --> 00:42:08,650
I'll keep an eye on the company
for you, buddy. Love you.

719
00:42:08,735 --> 00:42:10,652
Nice meeting you. Thanks for the apartment.

720
00:42:11,279 --> 00:42:12,487
That was freaky.

721
00:42:12,947 --> 00:42:14,489
Everybody drive home safe.

722
00:42:15,074 --> 00:42:17,117
Man, this guy is in way over his head.

723
00:42:17,202 --> 00:42:19,203
- Take care, Father.
- You're gonna see him again tonight?

724
00:42:19,287 --> 00:42:22,831
Yes, I'm calling at around 4:00.
That's when I get off work.

725
00:42:22,916 --> 00:42:28,503
Remember, I'm Pam Dawson, virgin school
nurse from Winchestertonfieldville, lowa.

726
00:42:30,882 --> 00:42:32,341
That's priceless.

727
00:42:33,718 --> 00:42:35,260
You, a virgin.

728
00:42:41,476 --> 00:42:44,019
- All right, thank you.
- Excuse me, sir.

729
00:42:44,437 --> 00:42:46,897
- It's all right. I told him he could have that.
- Thanks, Deeds.

730
00:42:46,981 --> 00:42:48,982
Right on, buddy. Nice seeing you.

731
00:42:49,067 --> 00:42:51,568
You need to use our bathroom,
come back and use it, okay?

732
00:42:51,653 --> 00:42:53,779
- Will do, Deeds.
- All right.

733
00:42:55,073 --> 00:42:59,201
- How do you think I did at the funeral today?
- You spoke beautifully, sir.

734
00:42:59,285 --> 00:43:00,410
I still feel bad.

735
00:43:00,495 --> 00:43:04,414
I think I snapped my uncle's hand off
when I was putting him back in the casket.

736
00:43:04,499 --> 00:43:06,833
Lucky for him, he was dead, sir.

737
00:43:06,918 --> 00:43:09,962
Even though his face was frozen that way,

738
00:43:10,046 --> 00:43:12,547
it looked to me like he was a happy guy.
Am I right?

739
00:43:13,424 --> 00:43:14,925
He truly was.

740
00:43:15,009 --> 00:43:16,301
Come on, sit down, please.

741
00:43:16,636 --> 00:43:20,514
And I got to hang out with him, just like this,

742
00:43:20,598 --> 00:43:22,724
almost every day for 30 years.

743
00:43:23,351 --> 00:43:24,601
What did you guys talk about?

744
00:43:24,894 --> 00:43:29,189
We spoke of life, love, art, wine, business.

745
00:43:29,649 --> 00:43:31,358
I learned much from him.

746
00:43:31,442 --> 00:43:32,818
I bet you miss him, too.

747
00:43:32,902 --> 00:43:35,779
I do. He was like a parent to me.

748
00:43:36,614 --> 00:43:42,411
You see, I never knew my father. And Mama,
she passed while giving the birth to me.

749
00:43:46,040 --> 00:43:48,208
- You want some Cocoa Pebbles?
- No, thanks.

750
00:43:48,293 --> 00:43:49,293
Okay.

751
00:43:49,377 --> 00:43:52,629
I have much work to do.

752
00:43:52,714 --> 00:43:54,965
Thanks. You don't got to do that. All right.
Thank you.

753
00:43:55,049 --> 00:43:56,800
Enjoy your Pebbles.

754
00:43:57,468 --> 00:43:58,468
One more thing.

755
00:43:59,512 --> 00:44:02,222
Your great-uncle did not let me
change his socks for him, either.

756
00:44:04,142 --> 00:44:07,269
I like feet. I do not know why.

757
00:44:15,695 --> 00:44:16,737
Hello.

758
00:44:17,071 --> 00:44:19,990
Hi, Deeds? It's Pam. Pam Dawson.

759
00:44:20,074 --> 00:44:23,827
I'm so happy you called.
I'm wicked sorry about last night.

760
00:44:23,911 --> 00:44:25,412
I don't drink very often.

761
00:44:25,830 --> 00:44:28,582
I thought you held your liquor very well.

762
00:44:28,666 --> 00:44:31,043
Well, unfortunately,
I couldn't hold it for too long.

763
00:44:31,127 --> 00:44:34,755
That's okay.
I didn't really like that skirt anyway.

764
00:44:36,382 --> 00:44:37,841
I'm getting a call on the other line.

765
00:44:37,925 --> 00:44:39,509
Do you think you can hang on
for a second?

766
00:44:39,594 --> 00:44:42,596
- Sure.
- Thank you. Hello.

767
00:44:42,847 --> 00:44:46,016
Mr. Deeds, this is Kevin Ward,
the quarterback you punched.

768
00:44:46,434 --> 00:44:47,934
Okay. What's up, buddy?

769
00:44:48,019 --> 00:44:53,273
Yeah. I wanted to say that I was thinking
it over and I'd like to live up to my word.

770
00:44:53,358 --> 00:44:55,025
And I'd like to win you a Super Bowl.

771
00:44:55,109 --> 00:44:58,320
- That's terrific, pal.
- And my daddy wants to speak to you.

772
00:44:59,197 --> 00:45:01,365
Deeds. Buddy Ward here, Kevin's daddy.

773
00:45:01,449 --> 00:45:02,699
How you doing there, Mr. Ward?

774
00:45:02,784 --> 00:45:05,369
I just want to thank you
for teaching my boy a lesson.

775
00:45:05,453 --> 00:45:07,120
Not a problem, sir. He's a good kid.

776
00:45:07,205 --> 00:45:09,414
He's just gotta watch his language
in front of the ladies.

777
00:45:12,502 --> 00:45:14,294
I'll remind Kevin where he comes from.

778
00:45:14,670 --> 00:45:16,338
Okay. That sounds terrific.

779
00:45:16,422 --> 00:45:19,424
You used foul language in front of a lady?

780
00:45:20,134 --> 00:45:21,134
No, Daddy, no!

781
00:45:25,139 --> 00:45:26,181
Pam.

782
00:45:26,265 --> 00:45:27,682
Still here, Deeds.

783
00:45:27,767 --> 00:45:29,309
So how's it going? You at work?

784
00:45:29,769 --> 00:45:33,313
- Yep, up here in the nurse's office.
- Any customers?

785
00:45:33,564 --> 00:45:35,732
Customers? Oh, sick kids.

786
00:45:36,818 --> 00:45:40,153
Well, little Billy Barty's here.

787
00:45:40,947 --> 00:45:42,489
You're not feeling too good, Billy?

788
00:45:43,032 --> 00:45:45,951
Miss Dawson, my tummy hurts.

789
00:45:46,452 --> 00:45:49,162
Okay. Why don't you just lay back and relax?

790
00:45:49,455 --> 00:45:50,789
That was nice. Good job.

791
00:45:50,873 --> 00:45:54,626
I've got too much doo-doo
in my underpants.

792
00:45:55,837 --> 00:45:58,171
Make the stinky go away.

793
00:45:58,589 --> 00:46:00,590
Well, you sound like
you got your hands full,

794
00:46:00,675 --> 00:46:03,260
so I'll just come out with it.

795
00:46:04,178 --> 00:46:06,346
How would you like
to do something with me tonight?

796
00:46:07,348 --> 00:46:09,099
I'd love to do something with you.

797
00:46:09,183 --> 00:46:11,184
Great. Well, we can't go out drinking

798
00:46:11,269 --> 00:46:13,019
'cause I got our company in trouble.

799
00:46:13,104 --> 00:46:17,023
That's okay.
I was brought up never to drink alcohol.

800
00:46:17,400 --> 00:46:19,609
Not even rum raisin ice cream.

801
00:46:19,694 --> 00:46:22,446
I like that.
I'll think of something good, okay?

802
00:46:22,530 --> 00:46:23,697
See you tonight.

803
00:46:23,781 --> 00:46:25,115
Okay. Bye.

804
00:46:29,328 --> 00:46:30,996
I got to try this.

805
00:46:43,509 --> 00:46:44,885
Was that awesome?

806
00:46:46,554 --> 00:46:47,888
Am I out or safe?

807
00:46:50,057 --> 00:46:51,558
I'm with you.

808
00:46:53,394 --> 00:46:57,022
What is this?
My great-uncle's personal journal.

809
00:46:58,441 --> 00:46:59,483
Should I read it?

810
00:47:00,067 --> 00:47:01,318
Family.

811
00:47:02,904 --> 00:47:04,696
Family, safe, good.

812
00:47:05,448 --> 00:47:08,909
All right, have a good night. My back hurts!

813
00:47:13,581 --> 00:47:15,916
- Nice doing business with you, fellows.
- Thank you, Mr. Deeds.

814
00:47:16,000 --> 00:47:17,709
Thanks for the bikes.

815
00:47:18,085 --> 00:47:21,254
- What are you gonna do with your $20,000?
- Buy a giraffe.

816
00:47:21,339 --> 00:47:24,174
- What are you gonna do with your $20,000?
- Quit school.

817
00:47:24,592 --> 00:47:29,095
Good idea. School is for fools. Look at me!

818
00:47:54,497 --> 00:47:56,414
The park is beautiful.

819
00:47:57,041 --> 00:48:00,669
These trees, they remind you
of Winchestertonfieldville at all?

820
00:48:00,753 --> 00:48:04,256
Yes. Yes. Very much so.

821
00:48:04,882 --> 00:48:08,385
- What was it like growing up there?
- It was great.

822
00:48:08,970 --> 00:48:13,014
I remember walking down
to the corner drugstore

823
00:48:13,099 --> 00:48:15,392
and getting malted milkshakes.

824
00:48:16,310 --> 00:48:17,727
What was your house like?

825
00:48:18,688 --> 00:48:23,358
We had this big Victorian.
Right off Main Street.

826
00:48:24,485 --> 00:48:27,070
Blue shutters and a big red door.

827
00:48:27,530 --> 00:48:28,572
All right.

828
00:48:29,115 --> 00:48:31,741
And a tire swing in the front yard.

829
00:48:31,826 --> 00:48:32,867
I love it.

830
00:48:33,494 --> 00:48:37,414
And I remember the time I fell out of
old Boo Radley's apple tree

831
00:48:37,498 --> 00:48:39,165
and broke my arm.

832
00:48:39,834 --> 00:48:43,712
And my father, before he passed away

833
00:48:43,796 --> 00:48:46,214
from the disease of the lepers,

834
00:48:47,049 --> 00:48:51,386
he came and he scooped me up,
and he ran me all the way to Dr. Pepper's.

835
00:48:53,097 --> 00:48:54,264
Dr. Pepper?

836
00:48:54,974 --> 00:48:55,974
Yeah.

837
00:48:56,225 --> 00:48:57,976
I'm glad that guy was around.

838
00:48:59,061 --> 00:49:01,187
- Want to sit down?
- Sure.

839
00:49:03,232 --> 00:49:05,191
- Thank you.
- My pleasure.

840
00:49:05,568 --> 00:49:08,778
I was reading my great-uncle's journal
on my way over to you.

841
00:49:08,863 --> 00:49:11,239
And when he was age nine,

842
00:49:11,324 --> 00:49:15,118
he wrote that he had the only family
on the block with a radio,

843
00:49:15,202 --> 00:49:17,871
and he was dreaming about becoming
a disc jockey someday.

844
00:49:18,331 --> 00:49:19,956
- A disc jockey?
- Yeah.

845
00:49:20,041 --> 00:49:21,041
Wow.

846
00:49:22,710 --> 00:49:26,046
You know, when I was a kid,
I wanted to be a news reporter.

847
00:49:26,130 --> 00:49:27,505
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.

848
00:49:27,840 --> 00:49:29,841
I used to go around interviewing everyone,

849
00:49:29,925 --> 00:49:33,345
and writing notes
in my little Holly Hobbie notebook.

850
00:49:35,056 --> 00:49:38,266
People didn't like that. I got beat up a lot.

851
00:49:38,351 --> 00:49:42,062
- Do you remember their names?
- No, it was a long time ago.

852
00:49:42,146 --> 00:49:43,146
Okay.

853
00:49:43,522 --> 00:49:45,482
But my grandma said to me,

854
00:49:45,566 --> 00:49:48,818
"One day, honey, you're gonna grow up,
and you're gonna work for 60 Minutes,

855
00:49:48,903 --> 00:49:51,571
"and make a difference in the world."

856
00:49:51,989 --> 00:49:55,575
Well, you do make a difference in the world
every day. You're a school nurse.

857
00:49:57,620 --> 00:49:58,787
Yeah.

858
00:49:59,246 --> 00:50:01,456
Anyways, this is what happened to my uncle.

859
00:50:01,540 --> 00:50:05,168
Later on in his life, he'd go
to this radio station that he owned

860
00:50:05,252 --> 00:50:08,380
at, like, 3:00 in the morning,
and DJ for an hour.

861
00:50:08,547 --> 00:50:10,757
- That's great.
- Yeah.

862
00:50:10,841 --> 00:50:14,552
So don't give up hope.
You'll be a reporter someday.

863
00:50:14,637 --> 00:50:15,762
If you really want to.

864
00:50:17,723 --> 00:50:19,432
That would be nice.

865
00:50:22,311 --> 00:50:24,604
- Jeezum crow, a fire!
- Fire?

866
00:50:24,855 --> 00:50:26,773
- We should help.
- We should?

867
00:50:26,857 --> 00:50:28,525
- Let's get going.
- To the fire?

868
00:50:28,609 --> 00:50:29,609
Yeah.

869
00:50:29,944 --> 00:50:33,530
- Fifi, get over here right now.
- Come on, we'll catch you.

870
00:50:33,614 --> 00:50:37,659
Go away! No! I can't leave without me kitties.
They're all I got.

871
00:50:38,160 --> 00:50:39,953
- Crazy lady!
- Babies, where are you?

872
00:50:40,037 --> 00:50:42,122
- Don't worry!
- Get up there now. Get going!

873
00:50:42,415 --> 00:50:45,208
Longfellow Deeds,
Mandrake Falls volunteer fire chief.

874
00:50:45,292 --> 00:50:47,127
I'll be up there in a jiff, buddy.

875
00:50:47,211 --> 00:50:49,796
- Get right back in the car.
- Yeah, take them.

876
00:50:49,880 --> 00:50:52,382
Where's he going?

877
00:50:53,467 --> 00:50:54,592
Watch it, man!

878
00:50:54,927 --> 00:50:57,387
- Hey, Sully, who's that guy up there?
- I don't know.

879
00:50:57,471 --> 00:51:00,014
He says he's from
the Mandrake Falls Fire Department.

880
00:51:01,183 --> 00:51:02,600
How the hell does he climb like that?

881
00:51:02,685 --> 00:51:04,811
He must have monkey blood in him
or something.

882
00:51:04,895 --> 00:51:07,647
It's an honor to work
with New York's bravest guys.

883
00:51:07,898 --> 00:51:09,357
Be careful, Deeds!

884
00:51:09,442 --> 00:51:10,442
I'm gonna get you.

885
00:51:10,526 --> 00:51:12,736
Where are me babies?
Babies, where are you?

886
00:51:12,820 --> 00:51:14,988
- Ma'am!
- Oh, Lord, it's hot in here.

887
00:51:15,489 --> 00:51:16,740
Calm down. Calm down.

888
00:51:16,824 --> 00:51:18,575
- Kitties, come to Mommy.
- Everything's gonna be all right.

889
00:51:18,659 --> 00:51:20,493
Okay, but I'm not leaving without me kitties.

890
00:51:20,828 --> 00:51:22,495
- How many do you got?
- Seven.

891
00:51:22,955 --> 00:51:24,998
Holy shit! Let's get cracking.

892
00:51:26,876 --> 00:51:28,251
I apologize for the language.

893
00:51:28,335 --> 00:51:29,461
Apology accepted.

894
00:51:34,341 --> 00:51:37,010
- Fire excites me.
- Knock yourself out.

895
00:51:38,804 --> 00:51:41,264
- Come here. Come here.
- Yes. That's Freddy.

896
00:51:42,016 --> 00:51:43,349
Here we go!

897
00:51:43,851 --> 00:51:45,018
My children!

898
00:51:45,186 --> 00:51:46,519
Look out!

899
00:51:51,150 --> 00:51:52,484
Nice catch, Pam!

900
00:51:52,568 --> 00:51:54,194
Good throw, Deeds!

901
00:52:05,164 --> 00:52:08,041
- That's Frobo. Thank you, darling.
- Coming at you, boys.

902
00:52:12,546 --> 00:52:13,838
I'll take that.

903
00:52:14,799 --> 00:52:15,882
There's a lot more.

904
00:52:15,966 --> 00:52:17,675
Okay, okay, okay.

905
00:52:29,188 --> 00:52:30,897
Holy shit, it's a cat!

906
00:52:34,568 --> 00:52:36,903
Oh, snap. I got you, kitty.

907
00:52:39,240 --> 00:52:40,573
Nice grab!

908
00:52:42,409 --> 00:52:43,618
One more to go.

909
00:52:44,036 --> 00:52:46,162
Fifi, where are you?

910
00:52:47,331 --> 00:52:50,166
- I think I found Fifi.
- Good!

911
00:52:51,085 --> 00:52:53,127
Hang in there. Hang in there, buddy!

912
00:52:54,588 --> 00:52:56,047
I got it! I got it!

913
00:53:03,556 --> 00:53:05,890
- Okay, let's do this together.
- I'm scared.

914
00:53:06,725 --> 00:53:08,226
Deeds, be careful!

915
00:53:08,310 --> 00:53:10,395
All right, they do it all the time. Here we go.

916
00:53:14,441 --> 00:53:15,650
Oh, shit!

917
00:53:18,946 --> 00:53:19,946
Deeds.

918
00:53:20,489 --> 00:53:21,739
I'm okay.

919
00:53:22,449 --> 00:53:23,575
Are you okay?

920
00:53:24,827 --> 00:53:27,495
Yes, I am. Thanks to you!

921
00:53:29,665 --> 00:53:30,999
You're hurting me!

922
00:53:35,254 --> 00:53:37,589
Longfellow Deeds is at it again.

923
00:53:38,048 --> 00:53:40,091
His latest victim, Coretta Keeling,

924
00:53:40,175 --> 00:53:43,052
whose only crime
was loving her cats too much.

925
00:53:43,137 --> 00:53:45,680
And letting Deeds find out about it.

926
00:53:45,764 --> 00:53:47,056
I'm gonna get you!

927
00:53:47,141 --> 00:53:48,182
Go away!

928
00:53:48,726 --> 00:53:50,643
- I love it.
- Here comes two!

929
00:53:53,731 --> 00:53:56,983
- Cat killer! Cat killer!
- After he finished with her cats,

930
00:53:57,067 --> 00:53:59,819
he turned his sights on Miss Keeling herself.

931
00:54:00,154 --> 00:54:01,571
No! No!

932
00:54:01,780 --> 00:54:02,780
My God!

933
00:54:03,824 --> 00:54:05,241
That's not what I shot.

934
00:54:05,326 --> 00:54:08,119
Has Longfellow Deeds been locked up?
Of course not.

935
00:54:08,203 --> 00:54:12,081
While the rest of us obey the law,
rich playboys like himself get to laugh at it.

936
00:54:14,293 --> 00:54:15,710
Longfellow Deeds.

937
00:54:15,920 --> 00:54:17,879
Ourjackass of the week.

938
00:54:18,547 --> 00:54:20,840
What the hell? Who edited that?

939
00:54:21,216 --> 00:54:22,300
I did.

940
00:54:22,384 --> 00:54:25,803
Your first cut was great,
but I needed to spice it up a bit.

941
00:54:25,888 --> 00:54:31,434
The truth was a great story.
He saved that woman and her seven cats.

942
00:54:31,518 --> 00:54:34,270
- He was heroic!
- Heroic is nice.

943
00:54:34,355 --> 00:54:37,106
- Depraved and insane is better.
- Hell, yeah!

944
00:54:37,191 --> 00:54:41,027
Babe, this footage you're getting, gorgeous.
Keep it coming!

945
00:54:41,695 --> 00:54:44,238
God, how can we do this
to such a sweet guy?

946
00:54:44,323 --> 00:54:48,451
Sweet? Sweet? Look at me!

947
00:54:48,827 --> 00:54:52,205
Was he being sweet when he gave me
the most savage beating of my life?

948
00:54:52,539 --> 00:54:54,040
You were mugging me!

949
00:54:54,291 --> 00:54:59,003
Babe, no one is as good
as this guy's pretending to be.

950
00:54:59,838 --> 00:55:01,381
Don't be a sucker.

951
00:55:01,882 --> 00:55:03,508
He doesn't deserve this.

952
00:55:05,552 --> 00:55:07,428
He doesn't deserve you.

953
00:55:08,973 --> 00:55:10,264
My neck!

954
00:55:14,937 --> 00:55:19,148
I feel like an idiot.
They made me look like a fool, Jan.

955
00:55:19,858 --> 00:55:23,194
I was thinking of going down
to that Inside Access place

956
00:55:23,278 --> 00:55:26,239
and giving Mac McGrath
the beating of a lifetime.

957
00:55:26,615 --> 00:55:29,909
That sounds like fun,
but don't stoop to their level.

958
00:55:30,452 --> 00:55:32,078
You're better than that, Deedsy.

959
00:55:32,538 --> 00:55:36,207
So hang in there.
And know that we are always here for you.

960
00:55:38,335 --> 00:55:42,422
Thanks, Jan.
My uncle really built an amazing company.

961
00:55:42,506 --> 00:55:45,925
Because of him, 50,000 people have jobs.

962
00:55:46,010 --> 00:55:48,511
And he always tried to do the right thing.

963
00:55:49,763 --> 00:55:55,435
Well, he does sound amazing.
But don't forget, he was related to you.

964
00:55:56,103 --> 00:56:00,481
Enough about that.
Tell me more about this girl.

965
00:56:01,567 --> 00:56:05,570
She's nice. A small-town kid, like me.

966
00:56:06,155 --> 00:56:09,365
Deedsy, you sick-ass mo' fo'.

967
00:56:09,450 --> 00:56:13,870
You got to tap that before she starts
boning other guys, kid. Boo-Yah!

968
00:56:16,290 --> 00:56:19,625
He thinks it's you! He thinks it's you!

969
00:56:21,086 --> 00:56:24,464
- Let's go, Cedar. Put some steam on it, kid.
- Here it comes.

970
00:56:27,801 --> 00:56:29,093
He's trying to kill me.

971
00:56:29,178 --> 00:56:30,470
You're good at this.

972
00:56:30,554 --> 00:56:33,931
You know, when you asked me to play,
I thought you'd done this before.

973
00:56:34,099 --> 00:56:36,976
No, Johnny McEnroe said
it was wicked easy.

974
00:56:37,061 --> 00:56:39,187
Plus, it was my uncle's favorite game, right?

975
00:56:39,271 --> 00:56:40,354
How'd you know that?

976
00:56:40,439 --> 00:56:41,814
I read it in his diary.

977
00:56:42,983 --> 00:56:46,235
Really? I didn't know he kept a diary.

978
00:56:51,200 --> 00:56:52,533
Sorry about that, dude.

979
00:56:52,993 --> 00:56:54,994
It's okay. He's a new member.

980
00:56:55,871 --> 00:56:56,871
Ball boy.

981
00:56:58,040 --> 00:56:59,040
Ball boy!

982
00:57:01,376 --> 00:57:03,002
All right, baby, I'm ready for you.

983
00:57:08,008 --> 00:57:09,008
You okay?

984
00:57:09,426 --> 00:57:10,468
Not a problem.

985
00:57:10,552 --> 00:57:13,721
- Anderson, you liked that, didn't you?
- I did.

986
00:57:13,806 --> 00:57:16,057
Listen, Deeds, I got some good news.

987
00:57:16,141 --> 00:57:18,309
Those papers will be ready
to sign tomorrow.

988
00:57:18,393 --> 00:57:21,437
So you can relax knowing your uncle's
company's gonna be in good hands,

989
00:57:21,522 --> 00:57:24,273
and you can go home $40 billion richer.

990
00:57:24,358 --> 00:57:26,734
I actually was thinking about
maybe sticking around here

991
00:57:26,819 --> 00:57:28,820
- and going to some meetings with you.
- What?

992
00:57:31,740 --> 00:57:32,907
Fault!

993
00:57:33,033 --> 00:57:35,701
I figured I could learn, you know,
like this tennis thing.

994
00:57:39,373 --> 00:57:42,041
I swear to God, I'm not trying to do that.

995
00:57:43,669 --> 00:57:45,878
I don't got to sell my shares right away,
do I?

996
00:57:46,964 --> 00:57:50,466
Plus, I met this girl, Cedar.
I swear to God, I think she's the one.

997
00:57:51,885 --> 00:57:53,010
That's wonderful for you.

998
00:57:56,932 --> 00:57:58,474
That got you right in the throat, huh?

999
00:58:00,227 --> 00:58:02,895
Got to ask you, though, if it hits you,
is it my point or yours?

1000
00:58:03,564 --> 00:58:05,731
- Yours.
- Well, I'm winning then, I guess.

1001
00:58:20,372 --> 00:58:21,622
Sweet Jesus!

1002
00:58:22,457 --> 00:58:23,457
Who are you?

1003
00:58:24,918 --> 00:58:25,960
And what do you want to tell me?

1004
00:58:26,336 --> 00:58:29,088
I'm a junior producer at Inside Access.

1005
00:58:29,173 --> 00:58:33,217
And I have information that will help you
get Deeds out of town. Interested?

1006
00:58:33,635 --> 00:58:38,181
Very. Provided the information is good,
and you stop soaping your ass.

1007
00:58:42,269 --> 00:58:43,644
You know Deeds' girlfriend?

1008
00:58:43,937 --> 00:58:44,937
The school nurse.

1009
00:58:45,606 --> 00:58:46,939
Not quite.

1010
00:58:49,234 --> 00:58:52,987
Lucy, bring me the overnights.
JD will tell you where they are.

1011
00:58:53,071 --> 00:58:55,656
Hey, what the hell are you doing
in my chair?

1012
00:58:56,366 --> 00:58:57,783
Chuck Cedar.

1013
00:58:58,243 --> 00:59:00,745
I think you and I could help each other out,
Mr. McGrath.

1014
00:59:05,292 --> 00:59:06,709
You excited about this trip?

1015
00:59:06,793 --> 00:59:08,461
I'm so excited.

1016
00:59:09,129 --> 00:59:12,256
- Where are you taking me?
- I told you that's a surprise.

1017
00:59:19,264 --> 00:59:20,306
Well...

1018
00:59:25,979 --> 00:59:27,730
You got to be shitting me.

1019
00:59:27,814 --> 00:59:31,984
- Whoa! I never heard you curse before.
- I'm that excited!

1020
00:59:34,363 --> 00:59:35,780
Hey, hey, hey, hey!

1021
00:59:35,864 --> 00:59:40,534
All you Winchestertonfieldvillians,
recognize this little girl?

1022
00:59:43,288 --> 00:59:46,332
Hey, I'll give you a hint.
"I fell out of Boo Radley's apple tree,

1023
00:59:46,416 --> 00:59:48,334
"and my arm is killing me!"

1024
00:59:52,673 --> 00:59:54,674
Come on, it's little Pammy Dawson!

1025
00:59:56,677 --> 00:59:57,718
Hello.

1026
00:59:58,804 --> 01:00:00,513
You related to Bill Dawson?

1027
01:00:00,931 --> 01:00:03,683
Yes, he's my relative.

1028
01:00:04,434 --> 01:00:05,851
I think I remember you.

1029
01:00:06,937 --> 01:00:09,355
Did you used to have a kind of hump
on your back?

1030
01:00:10,357 --> 01:00:14,360
- Yes, that was me. I had a slight hump.
- Really?

1031
01:00:14,444 --> 01:00:16,279
This was no slight hump.

1032
01:00:16,363 --> 01:00:19,949
The girl I'm thinking of looked like
she had a damn beach ball on her back.

1033
01:00:20,951 --> 01:00:24,704
Okay, it was a huge hump,
and I'm a little sensitive about it.

1034
01:00:24,788 --> 01:00:28,165
Look, Martha, it's Quasimodo, all growed up.

1035
01:00:28,250 --> 01:00:31,502
How wonderful! I thought you died.

1036
01:00:31,586 --> 01:00:34,088
No! She actually became a school nurse.

1037
01:00:34,881 --> 01:00:35,881
You're a nurse?

1038
01:00:36,216 --> 01:00:38,175
- Yes.
- What should I do about this?

1039
01:00:45,934 --> 01:00:47,476
I would call Dr. Pepper.

1040
01:00:47,561 --> 01:00:48,561
Who?

1041
01:00:48,645 --> 01:00:52,732
It was so great seeing everybody again.
We're going to leave now.

1042
01:00:52,899 --> 01:00:54,066
Bye.

1043
01:00:55,736 --> 01:00:57,069
- Hi, mailman.
- Morning.

1044
01:00:57,154 --> 01:00:58,487
How you doing?

1045
01:01:01,950 --> 01:01:03,409
Oh, my God, there it is.

1046
01:01:03,910 --> 01:01:06,537
Blue shutters, red door, tire swing.

1047
01:01:06,621 --> 01:01:08,331
That's your house, isn't it?

1048
01:01:09,541 --> 01:01:10,833
Wouldn't you know it?

1049
01:01:11,752 --> 01:01:12,918
Come on.

1050
01:01:15,339 --> 01:01:16,339
Hey, how you guys doing?

1051
01:01:16,923 --> 01:01:18,215
You know who she is?

1052
01:01:19,593 --> 01:01:22,636
She actually used to live in this house
when she was a little girl.

1053
01:01:22,721 --> 01:01:23,679
It's true.

1054
01:01:23,764 --> 01:01:26,599
You live here and she used to live here.
You're practically cousins.

1055
01:01:27,642 --> 01:01:28,642
Wow!

1056
01:01:29,936 --> 01:01:31,687
So many memories.

1057
01:01:33,607 --> 01:01:34,940
Where to begin?

1058
01:01:35,776 --> 01:01:38,778
This is our fireplace

1059
01:01:38,862 --> 01:01:42,948
where my dad would build fires
out of wood.

1060
01:01:43,158 --> 01:01:46,869
And this is the dining room
where we would have our meals

1061
01:01:46,953 --> 01:01:48,120
made of food.

1062
01:01:48,789 --> 01:01:51,207
And this was my brother's room.

1063
01:01:52,000 --> 01:01:54,085
My parents hated my brother.

1064
01:01:54,169 --> 01:01:57,755
My daddy built this house
with his bare hands six years ago.

1065
01:01:58,757 --> 01:02:00,466
Well, your daddy is a liar.

1066
01:02:01,468 --> 01:02:02,802
How come you...

1067
01:02:06,139 --> 01:02:08,974
He's choking. We should go.

1068
01:02:09,059 --> 01:02:10,684
- Help.
- What are you talking about?

1069
01:02:10,769 --> 01:02:13,229
- You're the nurse. Come on, help him.
- Save him!

1070
01:02:13,313 --> 01:02:15,689
- Stand back, kids.
- He's gonna die!

1071
01:02:16,316 --> 01:02:18,317
- Take him to the hospital!
- Smack it out of him!

1072
01:02:19,069 --> 01:02:21,612
- Save him!
- Get it out of him!

1073
01:02:21,696 --> 01:02:23,489
Save him, please!

1074
01:02:28,787 --> 01:02:31,080
- That was amazing.
- Thank you.

1075
01:02:31,498 --> 01:02:33,874
- I saved his life.
- Yeah.

1076
01:02:33,959 --> 01:02:35,876
You're my hero, Nurse Dawson.

1077
01:02:41,049 --> 01:02:42,633
Thank you, thank you.

1078
01:02:43,927 --> 01:02:46,137
- Good parking job, buddy.
- Thanks, Deeds.

1079
01:02:46,888 --> 01:02:48,431
Testing, testing.

1080
01:02:48,723 --> 01:02:51,058
I had such a wonderful time.

1081
01:02:51,143 --> 01:02:55,146
- Thank you for such a great day.
- Yeah.

1082
01:02:55,230 --> 01:02:59,066
- Thanks for showing me your town.
- I hope sometime to see your hometown.

1083
01:02:59,818 --> 01:03:02,528
Maybe someday this will be
my new hometown.

1084
01:03:03,655 --> 01:03:07,283
Deeds, there's something I have to tell you.

1085
01:03:07,367 --> 01:03:08,742
What's the matter?

1086
01:03:10,745 --> 01:03:11,745
What?

1087
01:03:13,290 --> 01:03:16,542
Go back to New Hampshire,
and enjoy being rich.

1088
01:03:17,294 --> 01:03:21,422
Just don't let anyone
hurt you anymore, okay?

1089
01:03:23,133 --> 01:03:24,216
Sucker.

1090
01:03:26,970 --> 01:03:27,970
Pam.

1091
01:03:30,432 --> 01:03:34,059
I made a card for you. It's kind of dumb.

1092
01:03:34,144 --> 01:03:38,105
I never worked on anything harder, though,
so don't laugh at me.

1093
01:03:39,858 --> 01:03:42,359
Remember we went to the restaurant
that first night,

1094
01:03:42,444 --> 01:03:43,903
and you ordered chicken parmesan?

1095
01:03:44,529 --> 01:03:46,489
So I drew you a plate.

1096
01:03:46,990 --> 01:03:49,450
There's the chicken and the cheese

1097
01:03:50,410 --> 01:03:53,454
and the linguini. That actually took me
a long time with the squigglies.

1098
01:03:55,081 --> 01:03:56,248
It's beautiful.

1099
01:03:56,583 --> 01:03:58,626
There's a poem inside for you.

1100
01:04:03,381 --> 01:04:06,133
"Hard to breathe, feels like floating

1101
01:04:07,135 --> 01:04:10,429
"So full of love, my heart's exploding

1102
01:04:12,432 --> 01:04:14,892
"Mouth is dry, hands are shaking

1103
01:04:16,102 --> 01:04:18,395
"My heart is yours for the taking

1104
01:04:20,106 --> 01:04:22,775
"Acting weird, not myself

1105
01:04:24,694 --> 01:04:28,113
"Dancing around like the Keebler Elf"

1106
01:04:28,698 --> 01:04:29,865
That was funny.

1107
01:04:32,118 --> 01:04:35,120
"Finally time for this poor schlub

1108
01:04:35,580 --> 01:04:38,457
"To know how it feels to fall in lub"

1109
01:04:39,626 --> 01:04:42,002
Couldn't think of anything else
that rhymes with "schlub."

1110
01:04:42,837 --> 01:04:44,505
"Rub" and "tub" didn't work.

1111
01:04:52,889 --> 01:04:53,889
Wow!

1112
01:04:54,516 --> 01:04:56,225
I'm sorry, Deeds.

1113
01:04:58,436 --> 01:05:02,982
- I'm really sorry.
- Don't be sorry, that was unbelievable.

1114
01:05:07,028 --> 01:05:10,906
Hi, Mrs. Finch and Atticus.

1115
01:05:11,825 --> 01:05:13,158
Sleep well.

1116
01:05:17,497 --> 01:05:20,332
- AI, I'm gonna walk home.
- Okay, Deeds.

1117
01:05:30,176 --> 01:05:32,177
I love New York!

1118
01:05:32,512 --> 01:05:34,054
Nobody cares!

1119
01:05:41,688 --> 01:05:43,188
I'm in love with him.

1120
01:05:44,524 --> 01:05:47,860
And I'm going to see him tonight,
and I'm telling him everything.

1121
01:05:49,529 --> 01:05:50,863
He'll probably punch you in the face.

1122
01:05:51,197 --> 01:05:52,615
I kind of hope he does.

1123
01:05:52,699 --> 01:05:55,200
Come on, Babe, snap out of it.

1124
01:05:55,285 --> 01:05:58,203
You really want to throw all this away
for a dipshit like that?

1125
01:05:58,872 --> 01:06:00,539
He's not a dipshit.

1126
01:06:00,624 --> 01:06:03,375
He's a goodhearted guy
who we think is a weirdo

1127
01:06:03,460 --> 01:06:07,212
because he doesn't share
our sense of ironic detachment.

1128
01:06:07,714 --> 01:06:11,383
- All this hip, snide, smart-alecky...
- Bullshit?

1129
01:06:11,718 --> 01:06:13,177
Yes, bullshit.

1130
01:06:13,803 --> 01:06:18,015
Well, in a few moments,
I'm gonna put on my Versace overcoat,

1131
01:06:18,099 --> 01:06:21,769
get into my Mercedes,
drive to my Fifth Avenue apartment,

1132
01:06:21,895 --> 01:06:25,356
and squeeze my girlfriend's big, fake boobs.

1133
01:06:25,899 --> 01:06:29,693
And that bullshit you're talking about
paid for all of it.

1134
01:06:30,403 --> 01:06:33,364
Good for you, Mac. But I'm still telling him.

1135
01:06:33,907 --> 01:06:34,948
Well.

1136
01:06:36,618 --> 01:06:38,744
Babe Bennett falls in love.

1137
01:06:39,954 --> 01:06:42,456
I'm happy for you. I am.

1138
01:06:43,708 --> 01:06:47,920
Gonna miss you, Babe. Something fierce.

1139
01:07:16,950 --> 01:07:18,200
You think she's gonna like this?

1140
01:07:19,202 --> 01:07:20,244
All right.

1141
01:07:20,328 --> 01:07:23,455
Chicken parmesan? Terrific, thank you.

1142
01:07:24,332 --> 01:07:25,624
Let's hear it.

1143
01:07:28,878 --> 01:07:31,505
- She gonna like that, Mr. Deeds.
- Okay.

1144
01:07:32,340 --> 01:07:34,967
- Emilio, it looks beautiful.
- Thank you.

1145
01:07:35,301 --> 01:07:36,301
Okay.

1146
01:07:39,013 --> 01:07:41,890
Think these roses might be a little too high.
I won't be able to see her.

1147
01:07:41,975 --> 01:07:43,642
- Do we have anything smaller?
- Yes, sir.

1148
01:07:44,310 --> 01:07:45,310
Okay.

1149
01:07:46,062 --> 01:07:47,062
Byron?

1150
01:07:47,939 --> 01:07:49,064
That's terrific.

1151
01:07:49,816 --> 01:07:52,109
- Would you mind sitting down for a second?
- Yes, sir.

1152
01:07:54,863 --> 01:07:56,822
Say something to me.
Pretend that you're her.

1153
01:07:57,115 --> 01:07:58,115
Me, sir?

1154
01:07:58,366 --> 01:07:59,366
Please.

1155
01:08:00,201 --> 01:08:01,410
Well.

1156
01:08:02,495 --> 01:08:05,831
It's nice of you to have invited me
to dine with you this evening.

1157
01:08:06,207 --> 01:08:07,499
It's my pleasure.

1158
01:08:08,001 --> 01:08:10,335
Actually, you're a little too tall.
Can you slink down?

1159
01:08:12,464 --> 01:08:13,422
Like this?

1160
01:08:13,506 --> 01:08:14,673
That's good.

1161
01:08:15,049 --> 01:08:18,510
This is one of the best dates
I've ever been on.

1162
01:08:19,679 --> 01:08:21,847
You make me feel very special.

1163
01:08:22,515 --> 01:08:25,017
You make me feel very special, too.

1164
01:08:25,393 --> 01:08:27,686
That's why I got this for you.

1165
01:08:28,146 --> 01:08:29,146
Okay, could you lean forward?

1166
01:08:34,652 --> 01:08:36,236
I really like you a lot.

1167
01:08:36,321 --> 01:08:37,654
I like you, too.

1168
01:08:38,031 --> 01:08:41,575
I can't stop thinking about you.

1169
01:08:42,035 --> 01:08:43,327
Please let me touch your feet.

1170
01:08:44,370 --> 01:08:47,039
Okay, this is getting weird.
You can stand up now.

1171
01:08:50,293 --> 01:08:51,293
Deeds!

1172
01:08:51,586 --> 01:08:52,628
Fellows!

1173
01:08:53,213 --> 01:08:55,672
We wanted to come by
and wish you the best on your big night.

1174
01:08:55,757 --> 01:08:59,718
Thanks a lot. I'm so nervous.
I never asked anybody to marry me before.

1175
01:09:00,053 --> 01:09:02,638
It's 7:30, time for Inside Access.

1176
01:09:02,722 --> 01:09:05,224
We're not in for any more
nasty surprises, are we?

1177
01:09:05,683 --> 01:09:09,144
I don't think so. I haven't done
anything stupid all day. I've been here.

1178
01:09:09,229 --> 01:09:13,607
Let's see what kind of lame show they put on
when they don't have Deeds to pick on.

1179
01:09:13,691 --> 01:09:14,691
Excuse me!

1180
01:09:15,819 --> 01:09:18,028
Could you put on Channel 8, please?

1181
01:09:18,404 --> 01:09:19,655
You got it.

1182
01:09:22,116 --> 01:09:25,077
Welcome to Inside Access. I'm Mac McGrath.

1183
01:09:25,537 --> 01:09:29,331
All of us here at IA take pride
in our ability to handle

1184
01:09:29,415 --> 01:09:33,460
- every story with sensitivity and empathy...
- Okay, pal.

1185
01:09:33,545 --> 01:09:35,879
...while maintaining
an appropriate journalistic distance.

1186
01:09:35,964 --> 01:09:40,509
But what happens when a reporter
becomes part of what she's reporting?

1187
01:09:40,593 --> 01:09:44,638
What happens when a journalist
falls in love with an idiot?

1188
01:09:45,682 --> 01:09:48,350
That's Longfellow Deeds with Pam Dawson.

1189
01:09:48,434 --> 01:09:50,602
- I can't believe they dragged her in this.
- 28-year-old school nurse

1190
01:09:50,687 --> 01:09:54,064
who recently moved to New York City
from Winchestertonfieldville, Iowa.

1191
01:09:54,274 --> 01:09:59,820
But wait. Doesn't Pam Dawson bear
a striking resemblance to Babe Bennett,

1192
01:09:59,904 --> 01:10:02,364
a producerhere at Inside Access?

1193
01:10:02,448 --> 01:10:05,117
In fact, the two are one and the same.

1194
01:10:05,201 --> 01:10:08,871
Hey, we're gonna wire your apartment
with state-of-the-art surveillance video.

1195
01:10:09,497 --> 01:10:10,789
Sounds good.

1196
01:10:11,666 --> 01:10:12,791
Deeds.

1197
01:10:19,799 --> 01:10:22,968
I came here to try to explain.

1198
01:10:52,081 --> 01:10:54,625
I'm the biggest sucker in the world, fellows.

1199
01:10:55,335 --> 01:10:56,835
This town can be brutal.

1200
01:10:57,670 --> 01:10:59,129
I don't belong here.

1201
01:10:59,213 --> 01:11:01,840
I can't run the company,
I can't even run my own damn life.

1202
01:11:01,966 --> 01:11:04,551
Well, sure you can.
The good news is the papers are ready.

1203
01:11:04,636 --> 01:11:08,138
So once you sign them, we'll get our stock,
and you'll get your $40 billion.

1204
01:11:08,222 --> 01:11:11,600
I don't want that money.
Just give it to a charity.

1205
01:11:11,684 --> 01:11:12,893
What's a good charity?

1206
01:11:12,977 --> 01:11:15,437
The United Negro College Fund?

1207
01:11:15,855 --> 01:11:17,522
Okay, give it to those guys.

1208
01:11:23,529 --> 01:11:26,949
Can we give you a ride to the airport?
The company chopper will take you home.

1209
01:11:27,033 --> 01:11:29,993
Thanks, anyway. I'll be all right on my own.

1210
01:11:30,787 --> 01:11:33,872
- Nice meeting you all.
- Nice meeting you, Deeds.

1211
01:11:37,210 --> 01:11:38,418
Goodbye!

1212
01:11:40,213 --> 01:11:41,254
Goodbye.

1213
01:12:25,925 --> 01:12:29,428
Not right. It's not right.

1214
01:12:54,412 --> 01:12:55,620
Hi.

1215
01:12:56,289 --> 01:12:59,708
- You must be Jan. My name is...
- I know who you are.

1216
01:13:00,543 --> 01:13:04,671
Wham-bam Dawson.
AKA Little Miss Slut-Slut.

1217
01:13:06,090 --> 01:13:08,133
Okay, I deserve that.

1218
01:13:08,217 --> 01:13:10,052
Do you have any idea
how much you hurt him?

1219
01:13:10,762 --> 01:13:12,637
You're not getting anywhere near that boy.

1220
01:13:12,972 --> 01:13:16,725
I have to find him,
and there's nothing you can do to stop me.

1221
01:13:18,603 --> 01:13:20,645
There's a lot I can do to stop you.

1222
01:13:20,730 --> 01:13:23,231
He needs to know how bad I feel.

1223
01:13:23,316 --> 01:13:25,400
And that I would go to the end of the earth.

1224
01:13:25,485 --> 01:13:29,154
I would do anything,
anything to take back what I did to him.

1225
01:13:29,822 --> 01:13:33,533
I'm sorry, all I heard was,
"Blah, blah, blah, I'm a dirty tramp."

1226
01:13:34,994 --> 01:13:36,161
Tell you what.

1227
01:13:36,496 --> 01:13:38,121
You get by me,

1228
01:13:39,624 --> 01:13:41,291
I'll tell you where he is.

1229
01:13:47,465 --> 01:13:48,465
Feeling crazy!

1230
01:13:50,176 --> 01:13:52,803
- Okay.
- Come to Mama.

1231
01:13:59,435 --> 01:14:01,770
I was a rodeo clown for six years.

1232
01:14:01,854 --> 01:14:03,688
You're gonna have to
step it up a notch, shorty.

1233
01:14:04,148 --> 01:14:05,357
You mean like this?

1234
01:14:10,071 --> 01:14:13,240
Where were you kicking?
I ain't got no balls, dummy!

1235
01:14:15,701 --> 01:14:17,786
- Please. Put me down!
- You got it!

1236
01:14:22,750 --> 01:14:26,044
- Just tell me where Deeds is.
- Bring your bony ass over here.

1237
01:14:27,255 --> 01:14:30,924
I want to cut you
into eight slices of bitcheroni.

1238
01:14:45,148 --> 01:14:46,398
Are you all right?

1239
01:14:47,441 --> 01:14:49,818
Good kick, honey. Good kick.

1240
01:14:53,573 --> 01:14:54,948
Crazy Eyes!

1241
01:15:02,165 --> 01:15:03,915
- All right.
- Here you go.

1242
01:15:04,417 --> 01:15:06,543
Peanut butter and gumballs. Nice combo.

1243
01:15:07,086 --> 01:15:08,336
Don't worry about what happened.

1244
01:15:08,546 --> 01:15:10,172
Time heals all things.

1245
01:15:11,591 --> 01:15:13,133
Except these crazy eyes.

1246
01:15:13,718 --> 01:15:15,927
Well, it's good to be home.
I know that much.

1247
01:15:16,637 --> 01:15:19,681
I wasn't talking to you, Deeds.
I was talking to that squirrel over there.

1248
01:15:23,019 --> 01:15:25,187
Although it is a shame
about that Cedar fellow

1249
01:15:25,271 --> 01:15:26,438
tearing apart your uncle's company,

1250
01:15:26,564 --> 01:15:29,774
- and firing all those nice people.
- Where'd you hear that?

1251
01:15:29,859 --> 01:15:31,818
I watch the stock market channel all the time.

1252
01:15:32,612 --> 01:15:36,615
I just watch 'cause I suspect that anchorman
of being an evil leprechaun.

1253
01:15:36,699 --> 01:15:39,367
He can bullshit everybody else,
but he ain't fooling me.

1254
01:15:43,831 --> 01:15:46,208
There it is. Okay.

1255
01:15:54,800 --> 01:15:55,800
Somebody help me!

1256
01:15:56,177 --> 01:15:57,177
Help!

1257
01:16:02,975 --> 01:16:04,809
Deeds! Help!

1258
01:16:06,479 --> 01:16:07,479
Deeds!

1259
01:16:07,813 --> 01:16:09,272
Help! Oh, God!

1260
01:16:09,649 --> 01:16:10,857
Deeds!

1261
01:16:21,619 --> 01:16:22,702
Oh, my God!

1262
01:16:23,496 --> 01:16:26,665
Deeds! Deeds!

1263
01:16:32,255 --> 01:16:34,589
Where do you got the camera hidden,
in the woods?

1264
01:16:34,674 --> 01:16:35,924
No camera.

1265
01:16:36,008 --> 01:16:38,635
I'm so cold. Please!

1266
01:16:38,719 --> 01:16:40,595
You gonna get mugged in there, too?

1267
01:16:40,680 --> 01:16:43,598
I'm so sorry.

1268
01:16:44,308 --> 01:16:47,352
I really love you.

1269
01:16:48,521 --> 01:16:49,604
Bullshit!

1270
01:16:55,319 --> 01:16:59,698
Hey.

1271
01:17:15,381 --> 01:17:16,756
I'm coming!

1272
01:17:19,051 --> 01:17:21,553
Go down! Go down!

1273
01:17:21,846 --> 01:17:23,680
Here comes the black foot.

1274
01:17:25,391 --> 01:17:26,558
No!

1275
01:17:30,521 --> 01:17:32,188
I know it's gross, but grab it.

1276
01:17:34,900 --> 01:17:35,900
Okay.

1277
01:17:37,236 --> 01:17:39,321
I got you. I got you.

1278
01:17:39,739 --> 01:17:44,409
- Oh, God, your foot. It's disgusting!
- I know, I know. Come here.

1279
01:17:44,994 --> 01:17:47,620
Come on, you okay? You okay?

1280
01:17:48,331 --> 01:17:49,581
I think so.

1281
01:17:53,044 --> 01:17:55,628
You didn't really fall out of an apple tree,
did you?

1282
01:17:57,923 --> 01:17:58,923
No.

1283
01:18:01,510 --> 01:18:03,053
But I really love you.

1284
01:18:05,097 --> 01:18:07,265
I don't even know who you are.

1285
01:18:08,184 --> 01:18:09,559
I'm sorry.

1286
01:18:36,212 --> 01:18:38,296
I am so sorry.

1287
01:18:46,055 --> 01:18:50,517
A company in tatters. Preston Blake's
great legacy gone to the highest bidder.

1288
01:18:50,768 --> 01:18:52,685
The shocking announcement
from Chuck Cedar today

1289
01:18:52,770 --> 01:18:54,437
confirmed that Blake Media

1290
01:18:54,522 --> 01:18:57,649
will be stripped down
and sold off piece by piece.

1291
01:18:57,733 --> 01:19:00,902
The only man who could stand up
to Mr. Cedar and save the company,

1292
01:19:00,986 --> 01:19:06,032
Longfellow Deeds, has apparently
given up his voting rights and left the city.

1293
01:19:06,117 --> 01:19:08,576
The sale is expected to pass
with unanimous consent

1294
01:19:08,661 --> 01:19:13,039
at the annual stockholders' meeting
here in New York tomorrow afternoon.

1295
01:19:13,124 --> 01:19:16,835
Sources indicate that virtually
all of Blake's 50,000 employees

1296
01:19:16,919 --> 01:19:18,837
are likely to lose theirjobs.

1297
01:19:19,422 --> 01:19:21,506
Hey, wait a minute. I'm a Blake employee.

1298
01:19:22,216 --> 01:19:25,009
Holy shit! This sucks.

1299
01:19:26,345 --> 01:19:29,931
Ladies and gentlemen,
the bottom line is that this divestiture

1300
01:19:30,015 --> 01:19:35,019
will result in every shareholder,
all of you and myself included,

1301
01:19:35,479 --> 01:19:38,523
getting a substantial premium
for our shares.

1302
01:19:40,234 --> 01:19:43,778
But before we vote, the company bylaws
require me to open the floor

1303
01:19:43,863 --> 01:19:47,657
to shareholders for statements
either for or against this buyout plan.

1304
01:19:48,075 --> 01:19:50,493
Does anyone wish to make a statement?

1305
01:19:50,578 --> 01:19:54,289
Dismantling this company
would be an insult to a great man.

1306
01:19:54,957 --> 01:19:56,040
You scared me.

1307
01:19:56,542 --> 01:20:00,128
It is an unspeakable outrage,
and it cannot be allowed to happen.

1308
01:20:04,550 --> 01:20:05,675
Excuse me.

1309
01:20:05,759 --> 01:20:06,759
I got a statement.

1310
01:20:09,555 --> 01:20:11,139
Longfellow Deeds.

1311
01:20:11,223 --> 01:20:14,642
Unfortunately, since you sold me
your 300 million shares,

1312
01:20:14,727 --> 01:20:16,227
you have no right to speak at this meeting.

1313
01:20:16,520 --> 01:20:20,398
Well, unfortunately for you, I bought
one share of Blake Media this morning.

1314
01:20:20,608 --> 01:20:23,651
You told me every stockholder
has a say in this company.

1315
01:20:23,736 --> 01:20:24,819
Even the little guy.

1316
01:20:27,698 --> 01:20:29,240
You've got two minutes, Deeds,
but just remember,

1317
01:20:29,325 --> 01:20:31,284
I now control 49% of this company.

1318
01:20:31,368 --> 01:20:36,498
So you're gonna have to persuade just
about everyone else to start hating money.

1319
01:20:44,673 --> 01:20:46,883
Hello, everybody. I'm Deeds.

1320
01:20:47,760 --> 01:20:50,261
For a little while,
I was a big part of this company.

1321
01:20:51,472 --> 01:20:53,765
I was wicked rich and powerful.

1322
01:20:54,517 --> 01:20:56,935
Now, being rich and powerful
isn't a bad thing.

1323
01:20:58,395 --> 01:21:01,606
It looks like the Monopoly guy over there
is pretty darned psyched about it.

1324
01:21:03,275 --> 01:21:06,236
But the problem is
what can happen when you decide

1325
01:21:06,320 --> 01:21:10,823
that you would do absolutely anything
to become rich and powerful.

1326
01:21:10,908 --> 01:21:13,493
I don't know who licked
the red off your lollipop today, son,

1327
01:21:13,577 --> 01:21:16,329
but you are preaching to the wrong choir.

1328
01:21:16,413 --> 01:21:18,540
All I'm saying is, when you were kids,

1329
01:21:18,624 --> 01:21:22,043
did you dream
about becoming a savvy investor one day

1330
01:21:22,127 --> 01:21:24,420
who would think with his wallet
instead of his heart?

1331
01:21:26,298 --> 01:21:29,968
Come on, I know I didn't.
I wanted to be a fireman.

1332
01:21:31,011 --> 01:21:34,722
I wanted to be the guy everybody called on
if they were in trouble.

1333
01:21:34,807 --> 01:21:36,432
I wanted to help people,

1334
01:21:36,517 --> 01:21:39,477
and yeah, I wanted to slide down
those wicked awesome poles.

1335
01:21:41,021 --> 01:21:44,440
But money,
that was the last thing I thought about.

1336
01:21:45,484 --> 01:21:48,528
What about you, sir?
Did you want to be a fireman?

1337
01:21:48,612 --> 01:21:49,946
No, I did not.

1338
01:21:51,532 --> 01:21:53,449
Truth be told, I wanted to be a veterinarian.

1339
01:21:53,742 --> 01:21:56,202
Cool. Why would you want to do that?

1340
01:21:57,204 --> 01:21:58,329
I wanted to help sick animals.

1341
01:21:58,664 --> 01:21:59,747
And what do you do now?

1342
01:22:00,499 --> 01:22:02,500
I own a chain of slaughterhouses.

1343
01:22:02,918 --> 01:22:05,086
Okay. You kind of went the other way
on that one, didn't you?

1344
01:22:06,880 --> 01:22:08,673
Okay. In the back. Come on.

1345
01:22:09,008 --> 01:22:10,383
Tell me what you wanted to be.

1346
01:22:10,467 --> 01:22:12,677
I wanted to be a magician.

1347
01:22:14,305 --> 01:22:15,305
And what do you do now?

1348
01:22:16,098 --> 01:22:18,516
I operate a pornographic website.

1349
01:22:19,101 --> 01:22:23,187
That makes people happy also, I guess.
But kind of in a grosser way.

1350
01:22:24,440 --> 01:22:26,774
- Who else?
- I wanted to be a senator.

1351
01:22:27,359 --> 01:22:28,526
I wanted to be a florist.

1352
01:22:28,652 --> 01:22:31,112
International House Pancake.

1353
01:22:31,614 --> 01:22:33,364
I wanted to be a man.

1354
01:22:35,451 --> 01:22:37,327
That explains a lot.

1355
01:22:37,911 --> 01:22:40,496
I wanted to be a ping-pong champion.

1356
01:22:43,042 --> 01:22:46,294
But you're not those things
you wanted to be, are you?

1357
01:22:46,378 --> 01:22:50,173
Everybody made a compromise,
then another compromise, and now,

1358
01:22:50,257 --> 01:22:52,800
you're about to put 50,000 people
out of work

1359
01:22:52,885 --> 01:22:54,969
just to make a quick buck? Come on.

1360
01:22:55,679 --> 01:22:58,931
I bet if we ran into the sixth grade versions
of ourselves right now,

1361
01:22:59,016 --> 01:23:02,060
they would kick our asses all over the place,
and put Bubble Yum in our hair

1362
01:23:02,144 --> 01:23:03,645
for even thinking about doing this.

1363
01:23:06,398 --> 01:23:09,317
He's right.
I would've beat my greedy ass red.

1364
01:23:09,401 --> 01:23:11,486
I would've thrown myself off
the merry-go-round.

1365
01:23:11,570 --> 01:23:15,490
I would've tied myself naked to a chair
and burned myself with lit cigarettes.

1366
01:23:17,534 --> 01:23:20,495
Did anybody here dream
about becoming a psychiatrist?

1367
01:23:20,579 --> 01:23:22,163
Just kidding, pal.

1368
01:23:22,915 --> 01:23:25,667
There's still hope for the kids
inside of all of us.

1369
01:23:25,751 --> 01:23:28,419
Please don't break up my uncle's company.

1370
01:23:30,589 --> 01:23:31,923
I always wanted to do that.

1371
01:23:43,060 --> 01:23:44,060
Well...

1372
01:23:45,354 --> 01:23:46,771
That was very touching, Deeds.

1373
01:23:47,940 --> 01:23:50,191
It appears this divestiture has been defeated.

1374
01:23:50,984 --> 01:23:52,610
Unless I'm forgetting something.

1375
01:23:54,279 --> 01:23:55,863
My 300 million votes

1376
01:23:55,948 --> 01:23:59,534
plus the five million votes I control
as proxy for the foreign investors.

1377
01:23:59,868 --> 01:24:02,120
So which way should I vote my 51%?

1378
01:24:03,997 --> 01:24:05,248
I vote aye.

1379
01:24:05,708 --> 01:24:08,126
305 million times.

1380
01:24:09,169 --> 01:24:10,253
The ayes have it.

1381
01:24:10,546 --> 01:24:13,005
And Blake Media is no more.

1382
01:24:13,090 --> 01:24:14,966
Not so fast, Chuck.

1383
01:24:16,135 --> 01:24:19,429
Too bad for you, when I was a kid,
I wanted to be a good reporter.

1384
01:24:19,513 --> 01:24:22,306
Miss Bennett,
I wasn't aware that you were a stockholder.

1385
01:24:22,391 --> 01:24:24,559
There's a couple things you're not aware of.

1386
01:24:24,643 --> 01:24:26,728
Like how to tweeze your eyebrows,
for instance.

1387
01:24:27,688 --> 01:24:32,316
Also, when Deeds gave away his fortune,
he gave away something that wasn't his.

1388
01:24:33,652 --> 01:24:34,694
What are you talking about?

1389
01:24:34,778 --> 01:24:38,156
I have here the diary of Preston Blake.

1390
01:24:40,743 --> 01:24:42,785
I stole it and read it.
Please don't be mad at me.

1391
01:24:42,870 --> 01:24:45,455
I did it for good reasons, I promise.

1392
01:24:46,165 --> 01:24:49,208
I would like to read a passage
from Mr. Blake's diary

1393
01:24:49,293 --> 01:24:51,836
dated April 12, 1957.

1394
01:24:52,880 --> 01:24:55,047
"I am a volcano of lust."

1395
01:24:55,299 --> 01:24:58,968
I've gotten this far in business
by following my heart.

1396
01:24:59,553 --> 01:25:02,805
And I must follow it now in love.

1397
01:25:04,850 --> 01:25:08,352
If she just gives me a sign, an opening.

1398
01:25:08,812 --> 01:25:11,355
Want me to wipe the leaves
on your ficus tree, Mr. Blake?

1399
01:25:13,275 --> 01:25:15,026
You can call me Preston.

1400
01:25:16,987 --> 01:25:20,865
Want me to wipe the leaves
on your ficus tree, Preston?

1401
01:25:22,451 --> 01:25:26,579
Yes.

1402
01:25:27,498 --> 01:25:28,498
Yes!

1403
01:25:29,666 --> 01:25:31,334
Who was this mystery woman?

1404
01:25:31,877 --> 01:25:36,506
I have here the Blake Media ledger
sign-in book from April, 1957.

1405
01:25:37,132 --> 01:25:42,220
On the night of the 12th, there was only one
woman working on Preston Blake's floor.

1406
01:25:42,513 --> 01:25:46,974
Sadly, nine months later, she died,
giving birth to a son.

1407
01:25:47,434 --> 01:25:48,935
A son born

1408
01:25:49,394 --> 01:25:52,522
January 23, 1958.

1409
01:25:53,065 --> 01:25:54,440
That is my birthday.

1410
01:25:54,733 --> 01:25:56,901
To Miss Consuela Lopez.

1411
01:25:57,528 --> 01:25:58,820
That is my mother.

1412
01:25:59,071 --> 01:26:01,864
And the rightful heir to $40 billion!

1413
01:26:02,366 --> 01:26:03,825
That is my money?

1414
01:26:03,992 --> 01:26:06,494
A simple DNA test will show

1415
01:26:06,578 --> 01:26:10,581
that Emilio Lopez is the majority
stockholder to Blake Media.

1416
01:26:10,916 --> 01:26:11,958
It is my money!

1417
01:26:12,042 --> 01:26:13,042
That's your money!

1418
01:26:13,126 --> 01:26:14,669
That is my money!

1419
01:26:16,380 --> 01:26:17,880
Way to go, Emilio!

1420
01:26:17,965 --> 01:26:20,383
I will do good things,
good things for everyone.

1421
01:26:21,009 --> 01:26:23,135
Free flamenco lessons for all.

1422
01:26:23,220 --> 01:26:25,388
People, people! Please!

1423
01:26:25,472 --> 01:26:26,681
That is my money.

1424
01:26:26,765 --> 01:26:29,100
Don't be misled. These are all lies.

1425
01:26:29,351 --> 01:26:30,393
Mr. Cedar.

1426
01:26:31,478 --> 01:26:32,645
You are fired.

1427
01:26:33,105 --> 01:26:34,856
You can't fire me!

1428
01:26:35,274 --> 01:26:36,774
I'm in control!

1429
01:26:37,276 --> 01:26:38,985
Get your hands off me! I'm Chuck Cedar!

1430
01:26:39,778 --> 01:26:41,362
At the lake, when you saved my life,

1431
01:26:41,446 --> 01:26:43,906
which I never got a chance
to properly thank you for...

1432
01:26:43,991 --> 01:26:46,367
- You're welcome.
- You said that you didn't know who I was.

1433
01:26:46,451 --> 01:26:49,161
And it made me realize
I don't know who I am.

1434
01:26:49,246 --> 01:26:52,999
So I started working on it,
and here's what I got so far.

1435
01:26:53,083 --> 01:26:56,711
My name is Babe Bennett.
I grew up in Syosset, Long Island.

1436
01:26:56,795 --> 01:27:00,590
I have brown eyes and I don't know
what my natural hair color is anymore.

1437
01:27:01,174 --> 01:27:04,135
When I was in fifth grade,
I got a crush on Walter Cronkite.

1438
01:27:04,219 --> 01:27:07,555
And I really did have that Holly Hobbie
notebook I was telling you about.

1439
01:27:07,973 --> 01:27:12,310
I love Bruce Springsteen, Almond ROCA,
and Abbott and Costello movies.

1440
01:27:12,394 --> 01:27:14,478
I don't like licorice or my ankles.

1441
01:27:15,063 --> 01:27:18,399
More importantly,
I know that I messed up real bad.

1442
01:27:18,483 --> 01:27:21,319
And I'd be willing to spend
the rest of my life

1443
01:27:21,403 --> 01:27:23,446
begging you to give me another chance

1444
01:27:23,906 --> 01:27:27,158
because I am so deeply in love with you,

1445
01:27:27,242 --> 01:27:30,661
and I know that it's definitely
that forever kind of love...

1446
01:27:30,746 --> 01:27:31,787
You're crazy.

1447
01:27:34,499 --> 01:27:36,167
You have beautiful ankles.

1448
01:27:46,511 --> 01:27:47,970
Let's go home.

1449
01:27:50,682 --> 01:27:53,267
You're fired! You! You!

1450
01:27:53,685 --> 01:27:56,020
You, sir. You are definitely fired.

1451
01:27:56,772 --> 01:28:01,943
I'd like to stay. I think I can really do
some good if I just got another chance.

1452
01:28:05,530 --> 01:28:09,659
Not fired. But tomorrow morning,
you let me change your socks.

1453
01:28:11,036 --> 01:28:12,036
Okay.

1454
01:28:13,372 --> 01:28:16,499
And you, Long-Long-Longfellow,

1455
01:28:16,875 --> 01:28:20,169
you are the one who made all this possible

1456
01:28:20,253 --> 01:28:23,255
with your beautiful words
and your beautiful spirit.

1457
01:28:23,548 --> 01:28:26,509
And Miss Bennett
with her beautiful research.

1458
01:28:26,885 --> 01:28:28,344
How can I thank you?

1459
01:28:28,762 --> 01:28:32,056
All I want is your friendship, Emilio.
You're a good man.

1460
01:28:33,141 --> 01:28:34,684
I'll miss you.

1461
01:28:35,686 --> 01:28:36,686
Deeds!

1462
01:28:38,063 --> 01:28:39,814
How about $1 billion?

1463
01:28:39,898 --> 01:28:41,023
All right.

1464
01:28:41,108 --> 01:28:42,108
Done.

1465
01:28:55,372 --> 01:28:56,789
Holy jeez!

1466
01:28:57,124 --> 01:28:58,332
I can't believe it!

1467
01:28:59,001 --> 01:29:01,544
- What's that, Deedsy?
- It's a letter from Hallmark.

1468
01:29:01,628 --> 01:29:03,796
They're actually going
to buy one of my cards.

1469
01:29:03,880 --> 01:29:06,173
Oh, my gosh! Which one?

1470
01:29:06,258 --> 01:29:08,426
The one I wrote for you,
do you remember it?

1471
01:29:09,011 --> 01:29:10,845
Do I remember?

1472
01:29:10,929 --> 01:29:14,056
"Hard to breathe, feels like floating

1473
01:29:14,141 --> 01:29:16,934
"So full of love, my heart's exploding

1474
01:29:17,185 --> 01:29:20,354
"Mouth is dry, hands are shaking

1475
01:29:20,439 --> 01:29:23,274
"My heart is yours for the taking

1476
01:29:23,358 --> 01:29:25,943
"Acting weird, not myself

1477
01:29:26,028 --> 01:29:28,863
"Dancing around like the Keebler Elf

1478
01:29:28,947 --> 01:29:32,366
"Finally time for this poor schlub

1479
01:29:33,702 --> 01:29:37,204
"To know how it feels to fall in lub"

1480
01:29:37,289 --> 01:29:39,123
I'm so proud of you.

1481
01:29:44,796 --> 01:29:47,590
Can you believe Deeds bought us all these?

1482
01:29:52,137 --> 01:29:53,971
Damn, these things are fast!

1483
01:29:58,351 --> 01:30:01,812
I'm okay!