1 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074 AmericasCardroom.com brings poker back Million Dollar Sunday Tournament every Sunday 2 00:01:01,912 --> 00:01:03,384 Yay! Yay! 3 00:01:04,081 --> 00:01:06,253 - Rohan! Rohan! - This is anarchy! 4 00:01:06,459 --> 00:01:07,966 Yeah! 5 00:01:08,086 --> 00:01:09,972 It was a stray bomb. 6 00:01:10,213 --> 00:01:11,934 Thank you, Adolf. 7 00:01:15,928 --> 00:01:19,108 It was 1952, nine years later. 8 00:01:19,349 --> 00:01:23,774 I was waiting to be called up to serve two years' conscription in the Army. 9 00:01:23,895 --> 00:01:26,399 I was 18. I hoped they'd forgotten me. 10 00:01:26,940 --> 00:01:28,910 After all, we were easy to miss. 11 00:01:29,026 --> 00:01:31,660 We lived on an island in the River Thames. 12 00:01:31,779 --> 00:01:34,330 You had to ring a bell to reach us. 13 00:01:37,703 --> 00:01:39,790 I swam each morning at the same hour 14 00:01:39,913 --> 00:01:42,471 because a lovely girl rode past on the tow path. 15 00:01:43,042 --> 00:01:46,308 I promised myself that one day I would swim across and meet her. 16 00:01:46,646 --> 00:01:47,897 But I never did. 17 00:01:56,974 --> 00:01:59,478 Cut, cut! Get him out of there. 18 00:01:59,681 --> 00:02:01,687 Dry him off. Go again. 19 00:02:02,022 --> 00:02:04,276 Feeble, feeble. Dry him off. 20 00:02:13,281 --> 00:02:15,050 - Cut. - End board. 21 00:02:15,075 --> 00:02:16,795 Cut. Get him out. 22 00:02:16,959 --> 00:02:20,368 They did it over and over until they got it right. 23 00:02:21,001 --> 00:02:23,722 That seemed much better than fife. Where you only got one go. 24 00:02:26,215 --> 00:02:29,348 That'll do. Print it. That's a wrap. 25 00:02:29,955 --> 00:02:33,419 We lived near the famous Shepperton Film Studios. 26 00:02:37,812 --> 00:02:39,153 Billy! 27 00:02:44,194 --> 00:02:46,235 I thought they'd forgotten you, Billy. 28 00:02:47,114 --> 00:02:48,668 It's come. 29 00:02:48,782 --> 00:02:50,752 They'll have their work cut out, 30 00:02:50,868 --> 00:02:53,372 making a soldier of you, pipsqueak. 31 00:03:07,236 --> 00:03:08,488 We're locked in. 32 00:03:08,513 --> 00:03:10,364 It's only for two years. 33 00:03:10,390 --> 00:03:13,288 Hands out of your pockets! Get in three ranks! 34 00:03:13,314 --> 00:03:15,235 Get in step! Left, right! Left, right! 35 00:03:15,354 --> 00:03:19,115 Left right! Left right! Left, right! Left, right! 36 00:03:19,483 --> 00:03:22,248 - Percy Hapgood. - Bill Rohan. 37 00:03:22,487 --> 00:03:25,287 And Percy, this could be the beginning of a... 38 00:03:25,407 --> 00:03:26,949 a beautiful fucking friendship. 39 00:03:27,529 --> 00:03:30,247 - Claude Rains? - Humphrey Bogart. 40 00:03:30,538 --> 00:03:31,789 Casablanca. 41 00:03:39,942 --> 00:03:41,532 Big head, come here. 42 00:03:41,758 --> 00:03:43,182 You stand there. Come round. 43 00:03:43,761 --> 00:03:45,564 Move. Move. 44 00:03:45,680 --> 00:03:47,566 Get on the end. On the end. 45 00:03:47,682 --> 00:03:50,945 Come here now. Get in. Get in. Stand still. 46 00:03:52,062 --> 00:03:53,801 Right, put your berets on straight. 47 00:03:54,273 --> 00:03:57,322 Right, your berets, the cap badges need to be above the left eye. 48 00:03:57,526 --> 00:03:59,496 What a pitiful bunch. 49 00:03:59,987 --> 00:04:01,328 Turn! 50 00:04:01,447 --> 00:04:03,670 - Left, two, three, one! - Right, two, three, one! 51 00:04:03,695 --> 00:04:04,955 Jesus! What a rabble! 52 00:04:04,981 --> 00:04:07,674 Put your right arm up now. Your right arm. 53 00:04:07,788 --> 00:04:09,674 You, big head, get on the end. 54 00:04:09,790 --> 00:04:12,386 Swap over with the ginger one. Swap over. 55 00:04:13,044 --> 00:04:15,808 Put your arm up. Arm's distance from the man on your right. 56 00:04:15,922 --> 00:04:17,310 Put it up now. Put it up! 57 00:04:17,424 --> 00:04:20,281 Look over your shoulder there. Look over at the man next to you. 58 00:04:20,306 --> 00:04:21,897 Stand to attention! 59 00:04:22,179 --> 00:04:25,892 Slope arms! Present arms! 60 00:04:26,104 --> 00:04:29,699 Shoulder arms! Order arms! 61 00:04:30,173 --> 00:04:31,466 Stand still! 62 00:04:32,274 --> 00:04:34,160 About turn! 63 00:04:34,276 --> 00:04:35,617 Shh. 64 00:04:36,195 --> 00:04:37,867 Out of the way! 65 00:04:38,656 --> 00:04:41,604 - Stand still! - What a bunch of wankers! 66 00:04:43,036 --> 00:04:45,531 You've got six weeks to shape up, 67 00:04:45,642 --> 00:04:48,871 then off to Korea to fight the might of the Red Army. 68 00:04:49,167 --> 00:04:51,469 You lot against the Chinese. 69 00:05:00,096 --> 00:05:01,348 Shut up! 70 00:05:02,059 --> 00:05:05,239 - Go back to sleep, you arsehole. - Put a sock in it. 71 00:05:05,477 --> 00:05:07,234 Fucking hell. 72 00:05:09,165 --> 00:05:10,506 Fuck you. 73 00:05:18,492 --> 00:05:19,963 Jane Russell. 74 00:05:25,542 --> 00:05:26,857 She was in my bed last night. 75 00:05:26,883 --> 00:05:28,686 I said, "Get out. Too narrow for the two of us." 76 00:05:28,712 --> 00:05:30,843 Then she jumped into bed with me and woke me up. 77 00:05:31,634 --> 00:05:33,188 Left, right! Left, right! 78 00:05:33,425 --> 00:05:35,016 Left, right! Left! 79 00:05:36,637 --> 00:05:39,402 About turn! 80 00:05:39,516 --> 00:05:42,102 Left, right! Left, forward! 81 00:05:45,230 --> 00:05:47,865 About turn! 82 00:05:47,983 --> 00:05:49,989 Left, right! Left, forward! 83 00:05:50,111 --> 00:05:51,997 Left, right! Left, right! 84 00:05:52,113 --> 00:05:55,791 Left, right! Left, right! Left, right! Left! 85 00:05:56,284 --> 00:05:59,749 About turn! 86 00:06:00,372 --> 00:06:03,801 Left, right! Left, forward! 87 00:06:03,918 --> 00:06:06,094 When we go! It right, it was exhilarating. 88 00:06:06,215 --> 00:06:09,229 We were like a dance troupe. Except Percy, who thought it was... 89 00:06:09,344 --> 00:06:10,595 Shit. 90 00:06:10,634 --> 00:06:12,770 Eyes right! 91 00:06:16,349 --> 00:06:18,769 Eyes front! 92 00:06:26,777 --> 00:06:28,070 Oh! 93 00:06:28,821 --> 00:06:30,292 Bastard! I've had enough. 94 00:06:30,462 --> 00:06:33,092 As soon as he's taught me how to do it, I'm gonna kill him. 95 00:06:33,117 --> 00:06:34,718 "Murder is my favourite crime." 96 00:06:34,744 --> 00:06:37,057 - Who's that? Edward G Robinson? - No, Clifton Webb. 97 00:06:38,499 --> 00:06:41,049 Elbow. Elbow. Elbow. 98 00:06:42,199 --> 00:06:46,053 When we finished the commando course, Percy and I expected to be sent to Korea, 99 00:06:46,078 --> 00:06:47,763 or to teach others how to kill. 100 00:06:47,884 --> 00:06:49,972 But no, they made us Sergeant Instructors 101 00:06:50,679 --> 00:06:52,357 and we had to teach them how to type. 102 00:06:52,514 --> 00:06:56,311 A-R-M-Y! 103 00:06:56,435 --> 00:06:57,907 Space! 104 00:06:58,312 --> 00:07:00,282 Return carriage. 105 00:07:01,191 --> 00:07:05,248 You are slouching and slovenly! Sit to attention! 106 00:07:06,989 --> 00:07:09,457 You will type at attention! 107 00:07:16,249 --> 00:07:17,970 Resume typing at the slouch. 108 00:07:20,421 --> 00:07:23,470 The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog. 109 00:07:23,591 --> 00:07:27,435 The, T-H-E, space... 110 00:07:27,762 --> 00:07:32,692 quick, Q-U-I-C-K, space... 111 00:07:33,060 --> 00:07:38,447 brown, B-R-OW-N, space... 112 00:07:38,566 --> 00:07:42,114 fox, F-O-X, space. 113 00:07:42,320 --> 00:07:44,372 Return carriage. 114 00:07:44,489 --> 00:07:46,495 Do you know why you're here? Yes? 115 00:07:46,617 --> 00:07:48,373 Because you are the dregs. 116 00:07:48,494 --> 00:07:51,840 Because you can't shoot and you can't march. 117 00:07:52,540 --> 00:07:53,881 We get the dregs. 118 00:07:53,907 --> 00:07:56,292 Well, your arses will be glued to these seats 119 00:07:56,503 --> 00:07:58,674 until you can touch-type like girls! 120 00:07:58,700 --> 00:08:02,414 Your, Y-O-U-R, space... 121 00:08:02,760 --> 00:08:06,901 arses, A-R-S-E-S, space, 122 00:08:07,015 --> 00:08:10,278 will, W-I-L-L, space, 123 00:08:10,393 --> 00:08:12,399 be, B-E, space, 124 00:08:12,521 --> 00:08:14,906 glued, G-L-U-E... 125 00:08:15,024 --> 00:08:16,577 What's your name, soldier? 126 00:08:16,692 --> 00:08:17,943 Private Kitto, Sarge. 127 00:08:18,277 --> 00:08:20,093 And why are you typing gibberish? 128 00:08:20,738 --> 00:08:22,079 There's no point. 129 00:08:22,449 --> 00:08:24,630 You'll see the point if I put you on jankers. 130 00:08:25,035 --> 00:08:27,206 It's all over, everything. 131 00:08:27,496 --> 00:08:29,797 Ah. Armageddon. Atomic war. 132 00:08:30,458 --> 00:08:32,344 - It's inevitable. - I agree. 133 00:08:32,627 --> 00:08:34,712 But while we're waiting, learn to fucking type. 134 00:08:35,922 --> 00:08:40,597 T-O-U-C-H, type, T-Y-P-E, space, like, L-I-K-E, 135 00:08:40,719 --> 00:08:45,311 girls, G-I-R-L-S! 136 00:08:45,933 --> 00:08:47,548 Return carriage! 137 00:08:48,019 --> 00:08:49,490 Oh, bother. Sergeant? 138 00:08:50,897 --> 00:08:52,238 I think I made a mistake. 139 00:08:52,607 --> 00:08:54,447 Okay, Henderson. 140 00:08:54,693 --> 00:08:56,663 You're the clown of the class. 141 00:08:56,862 --> 00:08:59,911 There's always one and it always ends badly. 142 00:09:00,408 --> 00:09:03,671 Just trying to type like a girl, like you said, Sarge. 143 00:09:08,542 --> 00:09:09,930 And be proud. 144 00:09:10,044 --> 00:09:13,176 Remember, if a pen is mightier than the sword, 145 00:09:13,248 --> 00:09:16,179 well, a typewriter can be more terrible than a tank. 146 00:09:18,454 --> 00:09:21,254 You will conduct the instruction of these soldiers 147 00:09:21,280 --> 00:09:24,831 according to the manual and properly dressed, Sergeant Rohan. 148 00:09:24,953 --> 00:09:26,655 Your top button is undone. 149 00:09:26,771 --> 00:09:29,038 You will be arraigned before the company commander. 150 00:09:29,065 --> 00:09:30,316 What, for a button? 151 00:09:30,400 --> 00:09:32,203 Yes, for a button! 152 00:09:32,229 --> 00:09:34,281 For the want of a nail, a kingdom was lost. 153 00:09:34,488 --> 00:09:36,707 Discipline. Wars are won and lost... 154 00:09:36,824 --> 00:09:38,794 on buttons, sir? 155 00:09:41,956 --> 00:09:44,375 Insolence will be appended to that charge. 156 00:09:44,416 --> 00:09:48,177 Private Redmond, I instructed you to remove these boxes. 157 00:09:48,245 --> 00:09:51,510 Will you explain why they are still present and cluttering up the office? 158 00:09:51,535 --> 00:09:56,091 And you do not salute an NCO, Private Redmond. 159 00:09:56,355 --> 00:09:58,859 Out of respect to you, Sergeant Major Bradley. 160 00:09:59,057 --> 00:10:00,350 Spontaneous, like. 161 00:10:00,684 --> 00:10:01,935 The boxes. 162 00:10:02,978 --> 00:10:05,149 Excused lifting. Hernia. 163 00:10:05,898 --> 00:10:07,239 I have a chitty from the doc. 164 00:10:07,525 --> 00:10:11,073 Those boxes are empty, Redmond. Empty. 165 00:10:11,738 --> 00:10:13,743 It's not the weight, Sergeant Major. 166 00:10:13,769 --> 00:10:17,068 It's the act of lifting. It's in the bending of the knees. 167 00:10:17,786 --> 00:10:19,293 I'll do it. 168 00:10:19,931 --> 00:10:23,147 Put that box down, Sergeant! You're not an orderly. 169 00:10:28,419 --> 00:10:29,843 Right. 170 00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:33,976 Lifting is not specified. 171 00:10:34,551 --> 00:10:36,971 Implied, Sergeant Major. Implied. 172 00:10:37,513 --> 00:10:39,780 Those boxes can be lifted without bending the knees 173 00:10:39,805 --> 00:10:42,226 and I instruct you to do so. Refusing to obey an order 174 00:10:42,310 --> 00:10:44,991 is a court martial offence! 175 00:10:45,105 --> 00:10:47,026 Fire! 176 00:10:47,148 --> 00:10:48,739 Fire! 177 00:10:52,279 --> 00:10:53,531 Fire! 178 00:11:12,423 --> 00:11:14,645 - Don't you hate being hemmed in? - No, I love it. 179 00:11:16,178 --> 00:11:18,174 I could stomach it if it wasn't for Bradley. 180 00:11:18,199 --> 00:11:20,287 - We can't do much about that. - Yes, we can. 181 00:11:20,313 --> 00:11:22,136 - What? - We set him up. 182 00:11:22,855 --> 00:11:25,110 Get rid of him. Bump him off. 183 00:11:25,233 --> 00:11:27,300 You haven't killed that other sergeant yet. 184 00:11:27,326 --> 00:11:30,990 - Good point. Let's find some girls. - You're still a virgin, aren't you? 185 00:11:31,016 --> 00:11:32,994 - No, no, no, I'm not. - Yes, you are. 186 00:11:33,117 --> 00:11:35,418 No, I'm not. I've kissed loads of girls. 187 00:11:52,889 --> 00:11:54,312 There. There. 188 00:11:55,559 --> 00:11:56,810 Sorry- 189 00:11:59,313 --> 00:12:00,701 Shh. 190 00:12:27,928 --> 00:12:31,310 Forget the unobtainable and take what's on offer. 191 00:13:02,217 --> 00:13:03,474 We're in. 192 00:13:47,017 --> 00:13:49,521 - Oh. - It was lovely to see you. 193 00:13:54,817 --> 00:13:56,408 Hello. Percy. 194 00:13:56,528 --> 00:13:58,615 - Sophie. - Peggy. 195 00:13:58,739 --> 00:14:00,080 Hi. 196 00:14:00,741 --> 00:14:01,992 You coming? We're leaving. 197 00:14:03,244 --> 00:14:06,518 There was such pain in her eyes, Percy. I think she needs help. 198 00:14:06,706 --> 00:14:08,094 Hold on. 199 00:14:08,468 --> 00:14:10,917 Don't get into that shit. We're the ones who need help. 200 00:14:10,943 --> 00:14:12,187 Come on. 201 00:14:12,213 --> 00:14:15,640 Bill, this is the beautiful Sophie and her lovely friend Peggy. 202 00:14:15,758 --> 00:14:17,265 Hello. Are you shy, Bill? 203 00:14:17,384 --> 00:14:18,642 Mmm-mmm. 204 00:14:19,262 --> 00:14:21,812 Yes, you are. I just made you blush. 205 00:14:24,184 --> 00:14:25,856 - He's still a virgin. - No, I'm not. 206 00:14:25,977 --> 00:14:28,149 - Yes, you are. - No, I'm not. Shut up. 207 00:14:29,648 --> 00:14:30,957 Come on! 208 00:14:30,983 --> 00:14:33,403 We have to be in by 10:00! 209 00:14:39,659 --> 00:14:40,917 That's our dorm! 210 00:14:43,289 --> 00:14:45,009 Come on, girls. Faster. 211 00:14:45,583 --> 00:14:47,351 Come along now, girls. Inside, quickly. 212 00:14:47,685 --> 00:14:49,046 How fast can you run? 213 00:14:49,071 --> 00:14:51,975 - You two! Come on! Late again! - Sorry, Matron. 214 00:14:52,090 --> 00:14:54,475 - Sorry, Matron. - Go away! 215 00:14:54,843 --> 00:14:57,228 - Come along... - Come on. Come on. Come on. 216 00:15:02,185 --> 00:15:03,442 Come on! 217 00:15:06,106 --> 00:15:08,076 I can't see shit. Higher! 218 00:15:09,693 --> 00:15:10,945 Come on! 219 00:15:18,620 --> 00:15:19,913 Wow. 220 00:15:20,038 --> 00:15:23,031 We're talking maybe 20 student nurses in varying states of undress. 221 00:15:23,125 --> 00:15:24,762 You should see it. 222 00:15:24,960 --> 00:15:27,511 Tits flying everywhere. 223 00:15:29,716 --> 00:15:32,397 Two nurses dancing in the nude. 224 00:15:33,261 --> 00:15:34,602 Wow. 225 00:15:35,013 --> 00:15:36,354 Come on, then, my turn. 226 00:15:41,437 --> 00:15:42,689 Higher... 227 00:15:43,147 --> 00:15:46,446 Higher... That's it. 228 00:15:46,902 --> 00:15:48,159 Good. 229 00:15:53,492 --> 00:15:54,744 I see no tits. 230 00:16:01,251 --> 00:16:02,758 It's Sophie. 231 00:16:10,845 --> 00:16:13,016 Wow. I see what you mean. 232 00:16:14,099 --> 00:16:15,522 What? 233 00:16:26,947 --> 00:16:28,715 What do you mean, "You see what I mean?" 234 00:16:28,740 --> 00:16:30,580 Your girl, Sophie. 235 00:16:30,784 --> 00:16:33,881 The curve of that breast. The pink nipple. 236 00:16:33,996 --> 00:16:35,468 Pressed against the window. 237 00:16:35,581 --> 00:16:37,717 You lying ponce. 238 00:16:37,917 --> 00:16:39,554 Yeah, right. 239 00:16:40,128 --> 00:16:42,098 Sophie. 240 00:16:47,470 --> 00:16:49,938 Don't let them get to you, Percy. 241 00:16:50,390 --> 00:16:52,110 They won't break me. 242 00:16:53,101 --> 00:16:54,904 We'll stick together. 243 00:16:55,520 --> 00:16:56,944 Like shit to a blanket. 244 00:17:06,408 --> 00:17:08,045 Who's this malingerer? 245 00:17:08,159 --> 00:17:10,473 - What's your name, soldier? - Private Redmond, sir. 246 00:17:10,498 --> 00:17:14,043 - And why are you not saluting the officer? - Excused saluting, sir. Hernia. 247 00:17:14,166 --> 00:17:16,433 Required to keep hand in pocket to keep it in, sir. 248 00:17:16,458 --> 00:17:18,720 I know your type, Redmond. You're a Skiver. 249 00:17:18,838 --> 00:17:22,057 Because you're an old sweat, you think you have the measure of the Army. 250 00:17:22,082 --> 00:17:23,954 Well, now you've me to contend with. 251 00:17:24,011 --> 00:17:26,312 I'll leave this in your hands, RSM. 252 00:17:32,812 --> 00:17:34,615 Right, this one. 253 00:17:45,535 --> 00:17:47,338 Every sergeant is a suspect 254 00:17:47,454 --> 00:17:50,966 and so is every soldier who has access to the Sergeants' Mess. 255 00:17:51,250 --> 00:17:52,975 What do I want a clock for, sir? 256 00:17:53,001 --> 00:17:54,912 Sure I can't even tell the time. 257 00:17:58,800 --> 00:18:01,897 That clock was given to one of my predecessors by Queen Victoria 258 00:18:02,012 --> 00:18:04,349 after the Crimean War for valour. 259 00:18:04,723 --> 00:18:06,277 Valour! 260 00:18:06,600 --> 00:18:09,566 It has kept time in the mess for a hundred years. 261 00:18:09,687 --> 00:18:12,950 Now some twit of a conscript has nicked it. 262 00:18:13,066 --> 00:18:15,118 Well, this is a closed camp. 263 00:18:15,485 --> 00:18:19,080 No one will smuggle a clock out of here. 264 00:18:19,782 --> 00:18:23,376 We've found it, sir, in the back kitchen, being cleaned. 265 00:18:32,713 --> 00:18:35,845 Right, let's clear up this mess, Redmond, 266 00:18:36,050 --> 00:18:38,055 and I don't want to hear about your hernia. 267 00:18:38,177 --> 00:18:40,017 I'll get my broom, sir. 268 00:18:46,311 --> 00:18:48,233 They say he's ill, the King. 269 00:18:52,694 --> 00:18:56,455 If that were so, Buckingham Palace would issue a bulletin. 270 00:18:56,698 --> 00:18:59,284 It has not, so he is not. 271 00:18:59,618 --> 00:19:01,458 Do you have any family, Sergeant Major? 272 00:19:02,788 --> 00:19:05,125 No, you're married to the Army. 273 00:19:05,708 --> 00:19:08,426 That makes the King kind of like your dad. 274 00:19:08,670 --> 00:19:09,963 Huh. 275 00:19:10,088 --> 00:19:13,766 That silly remark will result in a charge of insolence, Sergeant Hapgood. 276 00:19:14,343 --> 00:19:18,566 I think he only meant it in the sense that nuns are married to Jesus, sir. 277 00:19:18,681 --> 00:19:20,983 - I have a class. - Me, too. 278 00:19:23,812 --> 00:19:25,817 Hey. Psst. Come here. 279 00:19:45,753 --> 00:19:47,011 What? 280 00:19:47,463 --> 00:19:49,800 Where did you get all these snouts? 281 00:19:49,977 --> 00:19:51,519 Lad in the NAAFI owed me a favour. 282 00:19:52,030 --> 00:19:53,786 Yours is a murky world, Redmond. 283 00:19:55,556 --> 00:19:58,985 You're my hero, Redmond. Skiver par excellence. 284 00:19:59,268 --> 00:20:03,065 Yeah, well, skiving is not a skill acquired overnight. 285 00:20:03,356 --> 00:20:06,820 You're only in two years. Skiving takes longer than that. 286 00:20:06,944 --> 00:20:08,996 But you show promise, Percy. 287 00:20:09,947 --> 00:20:12,395 And how would you define your complete Skiver, Redmond? 288 00:20:15,578 --> 00:20:17,215 Put it like this. 289 00:20:17,789 --> 00:20:20,918 Army training brainwashes you. When you're told to get out of a trench 290 00:20:20,943 --> 00:20:24,407 and walk towards a machine gun that's shooting at you, you do it. 291 00:20:24,672 --> 00:20:26,894 A Skiver will find a reason to stay in the trench. 292 00:20:28,426 --> 00:20:30,930 You've got to be brave to be that cowardly. 293 00:20:32,597 --> 00:20:35,896 Wow. That is so profound, hmm? 294 00:20:36,644 --> 00:20:37,985 Yeah. 295 00:20:39,130 --> 00:20:42,070 - And how do you get on top of the officers? - Find a weak spot. 296 00:20:42,313 --> 00:20:44,206 Like this young doc. 297 00:20:44,361 --> 00:20:46,117 Insecure, easy to con. 298 00:20:46,488 --> 00:20:48,873 I can get a chitty off him no bother. 299 00:20:49,074 --> 00:20:51,613 Everyone in the Army's trying to get away with something. 300 00:20:51,744 --> 00:20:54,378 Find out what it is and play on it. 301 00:20:55,707 --> 00:20:58,127 Except our Bradley. A tough nut. 302 00:20:59,002 --> 00:21:00,544 He lives by the letter of the law. 303 00:21:00,670 --> 00:21:02,676 No weak spot? No chink in the armour? 304 00:21:02,965 --> 00:21:04,555 Not sure. 305 00:21:05,092 --> 00:21:06,682 Could be rage. 306 00:21:07,220 --> 00:21:08,857 He's a tinderbox. 307 00:21:09,555 --> 00:21:11,442 - I'll get him in the end. - No. 308 00:21:12,267 --> 00:21:14,070 We'll do it together. 309 00:21:20,610 --> 00:21:22,366 Hernia still playing up, Redmond? 310 00:21:22,987 --> 00:21:24,239 Yes, sir. Required to... 311 00:21:24,322 --> 00:21:26,577 Keep hand in pocket. Yes, we know. 312 00:21:26,700 --> 00:21:29,832 Well, take it out and salute properly. 313 00:21:32,873 --> 00:21:35,508 What infraction is it this time, Sergeant Major Bradley? 314 00:21:35,793 --> 00:21:38,973 Disruptive behaviour contrary to good order, sir. 315 00:21:39,339 --> 00:21:42,472 What is that? Frolicking? Messing about? 316 00:21:43,177 --> 00:21:44,730 Not language I would use, sir. 317 00:21:45,054 --> 00:21:46,976 Reprimanded, Redmond. 318 00:21:47,306 --> 00:21:49,857 And Sergeant Major, try to maintain discipline 319 00:21:49,976 --> 00:21:51,609 without resorting to company orders. 320 00:21:51,634 --> 00:21:53,889 It is tiresome. Dismiss. 321 00:22:00,154 --> 00:22:01,577 Improperly dressed, sir. 322 00:22:02,323 --> 00:22:04,126 How, Sergeant Major? 323 00:22:04,492 --> 00:22:07,755 Did Sergeant Hapgood come to work wearing pyjamas? 324 00:22:08,038 --> 00:22:09,289 Flies undone? 325 00:22:09,373 --> 00:22:11,010 Top jacket button, sir. 326 00:22:12,126 --> 00:22:14,511 Admonished, Sergeant Hapgood. 327 00:22:18,403 --> 00:22:21,018 What on earth is it this time, Sergeant Major? 328 00:22:21,303 --> 00:22:22,596 Dumb insolence, sir. 329 00:22:23,764 --> 00:22:25,354 Dumb insolence? 330 00:22:25,841 --> 00:22:27,445 Dumb insolence? 331 00:22:28,561 --> 00:22:30,828 That hasn't been invoked since the First World War. 332 00:22:31,159 --> 00:22:36,070 It's still an offence, sir, under Section 83-A of the Army Act. 333 00:22:38,030 --> 00:22:40,284 So what did he do or not do? 334 00:22:40,699 --> 00:22:43,797 He refused to accept my criticism of his work methods. 335 00:22:44,454 --> 00:22:45,705 Sergeant Rohan? 336 00:22:46,122 --> 00:22:49,478 Sergeant Major Bradley's insistence that every letter of the law be enforced 337 00:22:49,503 --> 00:22:51,635 makes teaching these men almost impossible, sir. 338 00:22:51,712 --> 00:22:54,049 - Guilty'? - If silence is an offence, yes, sir. 339 00:22:54,398 --> 00:22:55,650 Admonished. 340 00:22:55,675 --> 00:22:58,356 May I remind you, sir, that the relevant section 341 00:22:58,469 --> 00:23:02,480 demands a reprimand as the minimum punishment for this offence. 342 00:23:03,725 --> 00:23:07,107 - Sir? - The rest is silence. 343 00:23:12,110 --> 00:23:14,660 We have to stop him! We have to bring him down. 344 00:23:14,779 --> 00:23:16,548 Charge him with something for a change. 345 00:23:16,574 --> 00:23:19,293 - It won't work. He lives by the law. - Then let's kill him. 346 00:23:19,332 --> 00:23:21,919 - Murder is my... - Favourite crime. 347 00:23:22,455 --> 00:23:24,460 We keep it simple. Break into his quarters. 348 00:23:24,582 --> 00:23:28,545 You and Redmond hold him down. I stuff a pillow over his face. 349 00:23:28,670 --> 00:23:30,892 Found dead in the morning. No signs of a struggle. 350 00:23:30,917 --> 00:23:33,057 - Celebrations all around. - I couldn't do that. 351 00:23:33,175 --> 00:23:35,560 Why not? The Army's training you to kill. 352 00:23:35,586 --> 00:23:37,389 Get some practice in. 353 00:23:39,223 --> 00:23:42,273 God. Have you got a better idea? 354 00:23:46,106 --> 00:23:48,277 - Psychological warfare. - What? 355 00:23:48,400 --> 00:23:51,167 Well, you know how he gets enraged if his routine's disrupted. 356 00:23:51,334 --> 00:23:52,379 So? 357 00:23:52,405 --> 00:23:55,507 He does the Telegraph crossword every lunchtime in the mess. 358 00:23:55,598 --> 00:23:56,750 Well? 359 00:23:56,799 --> 00:23:59,875 Well, one of us slips down mid-morning and solves it. He'll go nuts. 360 00:23:59,997 --> 00:24:02,536 That's some leap from murder to fucking up his crossword. 361 00:24:09,507 --> 00:24:12,640 This is your guide to hygiene in Korea, 362 00:24:12,761 --> 00:24:16,356 with nasty pictures about syphilis and what it can do to you. 363 00:24:16,891 --> 00:24:20,237 We had that lecture on our way to France in the war. 364 00:24:21,938 --> 00:24:27,194 The doc said, "So don't ruin your life for 10 minutes of pleasure. 365 00:24:27,653 --> 00:24:29,124 "Any questions?" 366 00:24:29,238 --> 00:24:31,041 And one lad said, "Yes, sir. 367 00:24:31,157 --> 00:24:32,835 "How do you make it last 10 minutes?" 368 00:24:38,373 --> 00:24:41,422 While we're waiting, take a few tips from an old sweat. 369 00:24:41,543 --> 00:24:45,056 Now, saluting. This is what they tell you to do. 370 00:24:46,632 --> 00:24:49,350 Longest way up, shortest way down. 371 00:24:50,053 --> 00:24:53,102 Finish with thumb pointing down trouser seam. 372 00:24:53,223 --> 00:24:56,438 Up, one, two, down, two, three. 373 00:24:57,603 --> 00:25:00,487 Well, you can make a statement with saluting. 374 00:25:00,732 --> 00:25:04,114 This is the "fuck you, sir" salute. 375 00:25:11,869 --> 00:25:13,542 Silence! 376 00:25:16,207 --> 00:25:19,173 You are all about to posted to Korea, 377 00:25:19,795 --> 00:25:22,808 which is no laughing matter, I can assure you! 378 00:25:26,761 --> 00:25:31,234 Sergeant Rohan will take the first of three orientation lectures. 379 00:25:31,600 --> 00:25:34,020 Inciting disorder. See me in my office. 380 00:25:44,948 --> 00:25:46,289 Okay. 381 00:25:46,700 --> 00:25:50,711 This is a war between North and South Korea. 382 00:25:52,081 --> 00:25:55,047 The North, supported by China and Russia, 383 00:25:55,168 --> 00:25:57,588 the South by America and us. 384 00:25:58,630 --> 00:26:02,142 And General MacArthur is in charge of the war. Was. 385 00:26:03,302 --> 00:26:05,224 President Truman has just sacked him. 386 00:26:05,596 --> 00:26:08,861 MacArthur wasn't satisfied with driving the Chinese back over the border. 387 00:26:08,886 --> 00:26:12,066 He wanted to invade China and drop a few atom bombs on them. 388 00:26:12,604 --> 00:26:15,404 Wasn't he a hero in the Second World War, Sarge? 389 00:26:15,858 --> 00:26:19,370 Well, yes, but like a lot of generals in the history of war, 390 00:26:19,487 --> 00:26:20,910 he's probably completely nuts. 391 00:26:26,161 --> 00:26:29,756 Will I be typing out there, Sarge, in a nice warm office? 392 00:26:30,290 --> 00:26:33,221 No, you won't, Henderson. You're all on active duty. 393 00:26:33,461 --> 00:26:34,884 Even a nice gin like me? 394 00:26:38,675 --> 00:26:41,689 Shut up and let me tell you what to expect. 395 00:26:42,471 --> 00:26:46,232 Korea is pan of the war between communism and capitalism, 396 00:26:46,475 --> 00:26:48,362 the so-called Cold War. 397 00:26:48,478 --> 00:26:51,942 And it is cold, bitterly cold, where you'll be fighting. 398 00:26:52,941 --> 00:26:57,034 Unlike the Americans, you will not be issued with special clothing. 399 00:26:57,821 --> 00:27:02,128 So get your mums to send you gloves and jumpers and warm underwear. 400 00:27:03,453 --> 00:27:07,629 This is how we ate our grub in India. Kills all germs. 401 00:27:07,833 --> 00:27:10,550 Never get Delhi belly when your curry's this fiery. 402 00:27:14,382 --> 00:27:16,075 More curry for Sergeant Hapgood, Redmond. 403 00:27:16,101 --> 00:27:17,359 No. 404 00:27:17,385 --> 00:27:19,471 - No, please, please, please. - No? 405 00:27:19,496 --> 00:27:22,925 Yes. Fill his plate, Redmond. 406 00:27:25,311 --> 00:27:27,363 Hapgood. Eat up. 407 00:27:28,356 --> 00:27:30,916 - Young pup like you needs his nosh. - It's hot. 408 00:27:30,942 --> 00:27:34,703 No, you don't, Redmond. Stay right here where I can see you. 409 00:27:35,197 --> 00:27:37,997 You can't skive in the mess like you did up at the centre. 410 00:27:45,041 --> 00:27:48,304 Never thought I'd live to see conscripts in my mess. 411 00:27:50,005 --> 00:27:51,512 Whew! 412 00:27:54,218 --> 00:27:56,058 No, you don't. Redmond, get back here. 413 00:28:04,313 --> 00:28:07,446 Sophie, I need to get something straight, something Bill told me. 414 00:28:07,566 --> 00:28:10,070 I didn't believe him because I knew you wouldn't 415 00:28:10,319 --> 00:28:13,452 but when he was looking through the window of your dorm, did you... 416 00:28:13,949 --> 00:28:15,200 Did I what? 417 00:28:16,994 --> 00:28:18,245 Did you... 418 00:28:18,579 --> 00:28:19,830 Bare my breast? 419 00:28:19,997 --> 00:28:22,299 Yes. Did you? 420 00:28:23,125 --> 00:28:24,798 What do you take me for? 421 00:28:24,919 --> 00:28:26,473 '- Lying shit. 422 00:28:28,507 --> 00:28:30,910 Hang on. How did you know I was going to ask you that? 423 00:28:38,059 --> 00:28:39,613 Excuse me. 424 00:28:40,186 --> 00:28:42,322 I saw you at the concert 425 00:28:42,439 --> 00:28:44,076 I'm sorry. Forgive me. 426 00:28:44,191 --> 00:28:47,039 I don't mean to bother you. It's just that... 427 00:28:47,152 --> 00:28:49,537 Stop apologising. It's very unattractive. 428 00:28:49,655 --> 00:28:51,791 - Yes, well... - You sat behind me. 429 00:28:51,908 --> 00:28:55,254 I could feel your eyes boring into me. What do you want? 430 00:28:55,370 --> 00:28:58,503 I'm sorry. I just couldn't get you out of my mind. 431 00:28:59,750 --> 00:29:02,716 I'm Bill, Bill Rohan, stationed at the camp. 432 00:29:02,837 --> 00:29:04,593 Is it William or just Bill? 433 00:29:04,714 --> 00:29:07,562 Nobody ever calls me William, always Bill. 434 00:29:08,593 --> 00:29:10,312 I prefer William. 435 00:29:10,721 --> 00:29:13,818 Come in, William. You deserve a drink for courage. 436 00:29:14,058 --> 00:29:15,944 So you live here? 437 00:29:16,060 --> 00:29:18,824 No. No, it belongs to my aunt. 438 00:29:19,314 --> 00:29:21,236 I'm just here having a nervous breakdown. 439 00:29:21,358 --> 00:29:23,445 Or so they tell me. 440 00:29:23,860 --> 00:29:27,622 It basically involves lying on a couch talking about my childhood... 441 00:29:33,371 --> 00:29:36,468 - Am I boring you? - No, no, sorry. 442 00:29:37,334 --> 00:29:39,671 Usually I'm studying in Oxford. 443 00:29:40,254 --> 00:29:44,644 - How old are you? - Twenty. No... Nearly 20. 444 00:29:45,343 --> 00:29:46,933 And you? 445 00:29:47,053 --> 00:29:48,940 An older woman. 446 00:29:49,389 --> 00:29:50,682 Twenty-four. 447 00:29:52,517 --> 00:29:55,104 Don't expect anything from me, William. 448 00:29:55,980 --> 00:29:57,783 I'll disappoint you. 449 00:30:09,912 --> 00:30:11,549 Is he coming back? 450 00:30:11,747 --> 00:30:13,587 Oh, he went chasing after a girl. 451 00:30:13,708 --> 00:30:16,888 And we're stuck in a milk bar with nowhere to go. 452 00:30:22,927 --> 00:30:26,106 There's a concert tomorrow. May I take you to it? 453 00:30:26,514 --> 00:30:28,851 I don't know. Maybe. 454 00:30:29,184 --> 00:30:32,399 Perhaps I'll see you there, if I feel well enough. 455 00:30:33,438 --> 00:30:36,571 As long as it's not Chopin. Too melancholic. 456 00:30:38,277 --> 00:30:40,365 - Goodnight, William. - Goodnight. 457 00:30:51,000 --> 00:30:53,800 What's your name? I didn't ask your name. 458 00:30:58,300 --> 00:31:01,764 You fool. You stupid fool. 459 00:31:10,563 --> 00:31:11,905 Goodnight, soldier. 460 00:31:13,025 --> 00:31:16,157 Why haven't you supervised this Sergeant Rohan? 461 00:31:16,278 --> 00:31:18,081 Do you check his lecture notes? 462 00:31:18,489 --> 00:31:20,893 You may recall, sir, you have not been very supportive 463 00:31:20,918 --> 00:31:22,923 in my attempts to discipline these men. 464 00:31:23,161 --> 00:31:25,746 I'm not talking about your petty infringements! 465 00:31:25,771 --> 00:31:27,023 This is deadly serious! 466 00:31:28,709 --> 00:31:32,506 This boy, Private Kitto, has refused to go to Korea 467 00:31:32,630 --> 00:31:35,394 because Sergeant Rohan says it's an immoral war. 468 00:31:35,508 --> 00:31:37,098 Kitto. Sounds foreign. 469 00:31:37,385 --> 00:31:40,814 The boys father is a left-wing Labour MP 470 00:31:40,931 --> 00:31:43,316 and intends raising it in Parliament. 471 00:31:43,434 --> 00:31:47,575 Everyone's jumpy since Burgess and Maclean defected to Russia last year. 472 00:31:47,772 --> 00:31:50,240 It's going to be all over the papers. 473 00:31:50,525 --> 00:31:54,238 We have to take swift action before MI5 come down on us. 474 00:31:54,363 --> 00:31:56,257 We have to be seen to be doing something. 475 00:31:56,284 --> 00:31:57,921 - Do what? - Well, 476 00:31:58,200 --> 00:32:01,166 suspend Sergeant Rohan from duties at once, I suppose. 477 00:32:01,287 --> 00:32:03,043 Pending... 478 00:32:04,290 --> 00:32:06,830 There must be something we can charge him with. But what? 479 00:32:07,377 --> 00:32:10,557 May I suggest Section 35 of the Army Act, sir? 480 00:32:10,673 --> 00:32:12,892 Seducing a soldier from the course of his duty, 481 00:32:13,175 --> 00:32:14,599 a court martial offence. 482 00:32:14,719 --> 00:32:18,432 - Seducing a soldier? - From the course of his duty. 483 00:32:24,229 --> 00:32:26,158 - They charge you? - Seducing a soldier. 484 00:32:26,184 --> 00:32:29,286 - Seducing a soldier? - From the course of his duty. 485 00:32:29,485 --> 00:32:32,535 I'm suspended, on house arrest pending court martial. 486 00:32:37,035 --> 00:32:38,293 The major's gutless. 487 00:32:38,412 --> 00:32:40,667 Bradley's a fucking snake. 488 00:32:40,790 --> 00:32:42,925 That RSM is a sadistic shit. 489 00:32:45,670 --> 00:32:48,709 You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to steal his fucking clock. 490 00:32:48,799 --> 00:32:50,523 Don't do that, Percy. They'll find it. 491 00:32:50,548 --> 00:32:52,815 You can't get it out of the camp. They'll have you. 492 00:32:52,840 --> 00:32:55,574 With Redmond working in the mess, there's a way to do this. 493 00:32:55,681 --> 00:32:57,905 I was supposed to meet that girl at the concert tonight, Percy. 494 00:32:57,931 --> 00:33:00,289 - Would you go and explain for me? - What's her name? 495 00:33:00,314 --> 00:33:01,162 I don't know. 496 00:33:01,188 --> 00:33:03,410 You don't know her name but you were in her house? 497 00:33:03,440 --> 00:33:04,540 - Have you got her phone number? - No. 498 00:33:04,566 --> 00:33:07,242 Just go to the concert and call out, "Message from William." 499 00:33:07,280 --> 00:33:09,529 - Who's William? - That's what she calls me. 500 00:33:27,717 --> 00:33:29,438 Come on. 501 00:33:31,555 --> 00:33:32,806 I'm coming. 502 00:33:33,293 --> 00:33:36,976 Time for a game of billiards, isn't it, lads? Oh, what, you learn how to play? 503 00:34:10,349 --> 00:34:13,030 Percy, you're seriously deranged. 504 00:34:22,904 --> 00:34:24,328 Come in. 505 00:34:26,033 --> 00:34:27,919 - Did you get it? - Get what? 506 00:34:28,369 --> 00:34:31,086 - You know what. - No, I don't. 507 00:34:45,179 --> 00:34:46,994 Okay, Percy, you did it. Now put it back. 508 00:34:47,019 --> 00:34:48,858 - Never. - Then I will. 509 00:34:52,145 --> 00:34:54,447 No, you won't! 510 00:35:18,926 --> 00:35:20,812 Redmond, where is it? 511 00:35:21,387 --> 00:35:24,685 It was definitely here last night when we knocked off, sir. 512 00:35:24,807 --> 00:35:27,192 - Osbourne? - Yes, sir. It's always here. 513 00:35:27,310 --> 00:35:30,608 We know it's always here, but it's not here now. Where is it? 514 00:35:30,856 --> 00:35:32,528 Don't know, sir. 515 00:35:35,486 --> 00:35:38,701 You are a tripe hound, Redmond, a notorious Skiver. 516 00:35:38,823 --> 00:35:42,360 When I get to the truth of this, if I find you there at the bottom of a barrel, 517 00:35:42,386 --> 00:35:45,470 in the slime where you belong, you will wish you had never been born. 518 00:35:45,495 --> 00:35:48,658 You will curse your mother for bringing you into the world. 519 00:35:56,593 --> 00:35:58,527 All ranks return to billets 520 00:35:58,553 --> 00:36:00,808 and stand by your beds. 521 00:36:01,515 --> 00:36:03,236 All ranks return to billets 522 00:36:03,350 --> 00:36:05,023 and stand by your beds. 523 00:36:06,104 --> 00:36:07,907 Barrack C, clear. 524 00:36:10,525 --> 00:36:12,577 All gates secured, sir! 525 00:36:16,031 --> 00:36:18,661 - Has this one been searched? - Yes, sir. 526 00:36:18,784 --> 00:36:20,172 Shit. 527 00:36:27,711 --> 00:36:28,963 Shit. 528 00:36:34,928 --> 00:36:36,767 - What about this one? - Not yet, sir. 529 00:36:57,077 --> 00:36:58,371 Tenpence ha' penny. 530 00:36:58,496 --> 00:37:00,916 Oh, God! All right. 531 00:37:02,458 --> 00:37:05,223 Sixpence, sevenpence, eightpence, 532 00:37:05,337 --> 00:37:08,137 ninepence, tenpence, ha'penny. 533 00:37:20,479 --> 00:37:23,908 You two, search that block there. You two, that hut. 534 00:37:24,191 --> 00:37:26,243 You, search that hut. Come on. 535 00:37:29,238 --> 00:37:30,710 Where are you going, Hapgood? 536 00:37:30,824 --> 00:37:32,710 To my quarters, sir, to stand by my bed. 537 00:37:32,826 --> 00:37:34,463 - Do you know why'? - No, sir. 538 00:37:34,578 --> 00:37:36,346 Know anything about my clock, Sergeant? 539 00:37:36,466 --> 00:37:38,721 I thought you found it. Being cleaned, wasn't it? 540 00:37:38,844 --> 00:37:42,629 Do not trifle with me, Hapgood. Now, get a move on! Go! 541 00:37:44,464 --> 00:37:47,548 - All clear here, sir. - I've found nothing, sir. 542 00:37:53,265 --> 00:37:54,938 This room's clear, sir. 543 00:37:58,897 --> 00:38:00,238 No, nothing, sir. 544 00:38:04,987 --> 00:38:07,123 Out. Tip 'em out now. 545 00:38:15,499 --> 00:38:18,175 All soldiers whose quarters have been searched 546 00:38:18,669 --> 00:38:21,220 must return to their assigned duties. 547 00:38:22,924 --> 00:38:26,768 - No soldier must leave the camp... - There you go! 548 00:38:27,471 --> 00:38:30,650 Sergeant Major, this search is most disruptive. 549 00:38:30,766 --> 00:38:32,237 We must resume training. 550 00:38:32,351 --> 00:38:36,148 That clock is somewhere in this camp and I intend to find it. 551 00:38:42,321 --> 00:38:44,077 Open the gate. Open. 552 00:39:01,801 --> 00:39:03,473 Sit down, Sergeant. 553 00:39:04,804 --> 00:39:07,141 These gentlemen are from MI5, Sergeant. 554 00:39:07,265 --> 00:39:09,686 They've been studying your lecture notes. 555 00:39:09,810 --> 00:39:12,278 What were your sources for these lectures, Sergeant? 556 00:39:12,563 --> 00:39:14,817 The London Times, sir'". 557 00:39:15,232 --> 00:39:16,739 All this is in The Times? 558 00:39:17,372 --> 00:39:18,624 Yes, sir. 559 00:39:19,195 --> 00:39:23,206 Even this, "How the United Nations Bungled the Border Demarcation"? 560 00:39:23,992 --> 00:39:25,583 Yes, sir. The Times man was there 561 00:39:25,703 --> 00:39:28,088 and made a detailed report. 562 00:39:29,540 --> 00:39:32,764 You say that General MacArthur may have been insane. 563 00:39:33,294 --> 00:39:36,807 Not me, sir. The Times. It's in the cuttings. 564 00:39:37,174 --> 00:39:42,264 Never mind The Times. Do you think Korea is an immoral war? 565 00:39:42,513 --> 00:39:43,765 No, sir. 566 00:39:44,056 --> 00:39:46,904 - You think it's a moral one? - No, sir. 567 00:39:47,310 --> 00:39:49,647 - Then what is it? - A tactical war. 568 00:39:49,938 --> 00:39:51,539 As I explained to the men, 569 00:39:51,940 --> 00:39:53,946 part of the Cold War between the two systems. 570 00:39:53,972 --> 00:39:57,270 And which of these systems do you favour, Sergeant Rohan? 571 00:39:59,282 --> 00:40:01,121 - Neither. - Neither? 572 00:40:01,242 --> 00:40:03,627 - Neither. - So you're not a Communist? 573 00:40:04,246 --> 00:40:06,500 No, sir, nor a capitalist. 574 00:40:06,957 --> 00:40:09,543 - Sitting on the fence. - Yes, sir. 575 00:40:10,461 --> 00:40:13,427 So why do you think this soldier refused to go to Korea 576 00:40:13,548 --> 00:40:15,434 after attending your lectures? 577 00:40:16,843 --> 00:40:20,023 It may have been the freezing conditions I warned them of, sir. 578 00:40:22,892 --> 00:40:24,731 Wait outside, Sergeant. 579 00:40:30,525 --> 00:40:32,531 You can forget the court martial. 580 00:40:32,653 --> 00:40:35,157 He didn't seduce the man. 581 00:40:35,281 --> 00:40:37,666 Didn't even flirt with him. 582 00:40:39,202 --> 00:40:42,999 With respect, sir, did you not find his answers subversive? 583 00:40:43,415 --> 00:40:45,716 Of course he's up to no good. 584 00:40:46,084 --> 00:40:50,012 But should we indict The Times, the bible of the ruling class? 585 00:40:50,131 --> 00:40:51,684 You'll have to ride this one out. 586 00:40:52,842 --> 00:40:57,315 We have to charge the boy, Private Kitto, for refusing an order. 587 00:40:57,681 --> 00:40:59,359 Major, my advice would be to bury it. 588 00:41:00,309 --> 00:41:05,150 Post Kitto to somewhere far away and unpleasant. 589 00:41:05,440 --> 00:41:09,367 The jungles of Malaya or up against the Mau Mau in Kenya, 590 00:41:09,486 --> 00:41:13,283 where he can get shot at without troubling his conscience. 591 00:41:21,082 --> 00:41:24,096 Case dismissed and a 48-hour pass. 592 00:41:24,294 --> 00:41:27,012 Well, don't looked so chuffed. It depresses me. 593 00:41:27,256 --> 00:41:30,602 - Where are you going? - That girl. I'm going to find her. 594 00:41:31,931 --> 00:41:34,970 - You don't even know her name. - I know her college in Oxford. 595 00:41:35,807 --> 00:41:37,314 You're nuts. 596 00:41:40,145 --> 00:41:41,617 We need to talk, Percy. 597 00:41:42,439 --> 00:41:44,361 You can talk in front of Bill. 598 00:41:48,988 --> 00:41:50,240 We're up shit creek, mate. 599 00:41:51,741 --> 00:41:55,254 Disappointed in you, Redmond. The ultimate Skiver. 600 00:41:55,829 --> 00:41:57,965 I thought you'd relish this. 601 00:41:59,083 --> 00:42:02,382 Skivers do not take on the Army, Percy, not head-on, they don't. 602 00:42:03,254 --> 00:42:05,723 They skin around it, duck under it. 603 00:42:06,591 --> 00:42:08,727 You think you're a Skiver. 604 00:42:08,844 --> 00:42:10,431 Well, skivers keep their head down. 605 00:42:11,806 --> 00:42:13,360 You're not a Skiver, Percy. 606 00:42:14,267 --> 00:42:15,690 This is not skiving. 607 00:42:16,060 --> 00:42:19,144 This is like sticking your head up over the trench without a helm et. 608 00:42:19,169 --> 00:42:21,340 Give it back. You're both nuts. 609 00:42:21,775 --> 00:42:24,112 - I may never come back. - Yes, you will. 610 00:42:24,445 --> 00:42:27,494 Because deep down, or just below the surface, 611 00:42:27,615 --> 00:42:30,415 you are a fucking ninny. 612 00:42:32,579 --> 00:42:34,419 Just put it back, Percy. They'll find it. 613 00:42:36,000 --> 00:42:37,590 No, they won't. 614 00:42:38,753 --> 00:42:41,138 The fucking RSM has me haunted. He knows I done it. 615 00:42:41,255 --> 00:42:42,846 No, he doesn't. 616 00:42:42,966 --> 00:42:45,137 He's working me nuts off in the mess. 617 00:42:45,260 --> 00:42:47,146 You've dropped me in it. 618 00:42:47,262 --> 00:42:48,899 Just give it back, Percy. 619 00:42:49,014 --> 00:42:52,977 I can't. It's gone. Gone forever. 620 00:43:15,002 --> 00:43:17,422 The woman lies invitingly on the cushions. 621 00:43:18,714 --> 00:43:20,802 The man looms over her, 622 00:43:21,551 --> 00:43:23,936 his phallic pole sliding through his fingers. 623 00:43:26,389 --> 00:43:29,902 My family live on the Thames, downstream at Shepperton. 624 00:43:30,769 --> 00:43:33,320 I've been pulling punts since I was nine years old. 625 00:43:34,106 --> 00:43:37,571 Pity. It was such an attractive metaphor, William. 626 00:43:38,194 --> 00:43:42,075 Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. 627 00:43:46,454 --> 00:43:48,922 What would you like to do, later? 628 00:43:50,083 --> 00:43:52,420 Everything. Nothing. 629 00:43:59,260 --> 00:44:02,309 There's a film opened up called Rashomon. 630 00:44:03,348 --> 00:44:06,148 Everyone's talking about it. It's a Japanese director. 631 00:44:06,726 --> 00:44:09,277 - Kurosawa. - Yes. 632 00:44:10,397 --> 00:44:13,115 And while we're on names, what is yours? 633 00:44:14,110 --> 00:44:16,032 I keep meaning to ask. 634 00:44:16,946 --> 00:44:19,532 I think you should name me, William, 635 00:44:19,658 --> 00:44:21,912 seeing as you were clever enough to find me. 636 00:44:22,494 --> 00:44:23,965 How about Ophelia? 637 00:44:24,830 --> 00:44:26,171 Why? 638 00:44:26,707 --> 00:44:28,297 Unhappily in love. 639 00:44:28,626 --> 00:44:31,212 - Suicidal. - Why do you say that? 640 00:44:33,173 --> 00:44:34,680 Your eyes. 641 00:44:35,676 --> 00:44:37,017 Oh. 642 00:44:38,345 --> 00:44:41,229 - And have you come to save me? - Of course. 643 00:45:03,582 --> 00:45:07,345 It's brilliant. We're shown three versions of the same event but each one different. 644 00:45:07,376 --> 00:45:10,385 And which one's true? We don't know. Completely original technique. 645 00:45:10,500 --> 00:45:14,599 How can you be so passionate about something so abstract? 646 00:45:15,804 --> 00:45:18,853 In all the versions, there was one constant. 647 00:45:19,141 --> 00:45:22,689 The woman was raped. That's what the film was saying. 648 00:45:23,020 --> 00:45:26,983 It can happen in different ways but the woman is always raped. 649 00:45:27,734 --> 00:45:29,953 - Were you ever? - Raped? 650 00:45:30,946 --> 00:45:32,749 No, not raped. 651 00:45:33,198 --> 00:45:36,876 Seduced, conquered, possessed. 652 00:45:37,578 --> 00:45:39,880 I gave up, gave myself up. 653 00:45:40,957 --> 00:45:43,675 I despise him but my body does not, it seems. 654 00:45:44,795 --> 00:45:46,088 Stroke. 655 00:45:46,672 --> 00:45:47,923 Stroke. 656 00:45:48,340 --> 00:45:49,634 Stroke. 657 00:45:58,060 --> 00:45:59,401 You let Bill see. 658 00:45:59,520 --> 00:46:02,023 Through the window. That's different. 659 00:46:03,316 --> 00:46:08,536 God. It's so tedious having to go through all these steps and stages. 660 00:46:08,863 --> 00:46:11,913 Hand on bra. Bra off. 661 00:46:12,201 --> 00:46:13,921 Hand on breast. 662 00:46:14,970 --> 00:46:16,603 We're going to get there in the end. 663 00:46:16,628 --> 00:46:19,344 Why delay it with all this phoney resistance? 664 00:46:21,377 --> 00:46:25,056 - Okay, let's do it. - Good. When? 665 00:46:27,721 --> 00:46:29,442 Now. 666 00:46:30,763 --> 00:46:32,851 - Right now? - If you like. 667 00:46:36,061 --> 00:46:39,276 Here... Here in the open, in the broad daylight? 668 00:46:39,607 --> 00:46:41,198 Why not? 669 00:46:43,900 --> 00:46:46,237 You've never done it, have you? 670 00:46:46,906 --> 00:46:48,330 Course I have. 671 00:46:48,450 --> 00:46:50,087 How many times? 672 00:46:50,702 --> 00:46:52,873 Uh... 673 00:46:55,332 --> 00:46:57,338 I lost count. 674 00:46:58,920 --> 00:47:00,473 Excuse me. 675 00:47:01,089 --> 00:47:02,346 Percy. 676 00:47:07,679 --> 00:47:09,294 What is it, Percy? 677 00:47:11,851 --> 00:47:13,524 I just saw a ghost. 678 00:47:20,527 --> 00:47:22,330 Sorry, I can't. 679 00:47:30,372 --> 00:47:32,342 Sorry it's such a mess 680 00:47:33,333 --> 00:47:34,840 but so am I. 681 00:47:41,801 --> 00:47:43,771 - Will he come? - Yes. 682 00:47:45,013 --> 00:47:46,603 Are you sure? 683 00:47:47,015 --> 00:47:48,439 Yes. 684 00:47:49,977 --> 00:47:51,228 Then we'll wait. 685 00:47:56,192 --> 00:47:59,076 - Seducing a soldier? - From the course of his duty. 686 00:47:59,488 --> 00:48:01,458 Are you really going to kill this Bradley? 687 00:48:02,199 --> 00:48:03,832 I know it sounds crazy sitting here. 688 00:48:04,452 --> 00:48:06,255 But there, in that camp, 689 00:48:07,580 --> 00:48:10,345 it feels normal, necessary. 690 00:48:11,209 --> 00:48:13,323 Is there nothing good you can take from it? 691 00:48:14,504 --> 00:48:16,640 - The Army? - Yes. 692 00:48:18,259 --> 00:48:21,937 I did my basic training with these boys, from every walk of life. 693 00:48:22,639 --> 00:48:24,226 We lived together in a barrack room 694 00:48:24,251 --> 00:48:27,071 and the more they brutalised us and broke us down, 695 00:48:27,185 --> 00:48:28,906 the closer we got. 696 00:48:29,229 --> 00:48:32,611 We felt each other's pain, knew each other's thoughts. 697 00:48:33,943 --> 00:48:37,740 None of us would ever admit it but there was a lot of love in that room. 698 00:48:39,491 --> 00:48:41,128 Love and laughter. 699 00:48:42,119 --> 00:48:44,420 Well, one week, 700 00:48:45,790 --> 00:48:48,507 it was the day before pay day and we were broke. 701 00:48:48,626 --> 00:48:50,984 There wasn't even a single cigarette left between us. 702 00:48:51,337 --> 00:48:54,684 When we got back from training that day, one boy, Lionel Barker, 703 00:48:54,800 --> 00:48:56,971 found a parcel waiting for him. 704 00:48:57,595 --> 00:49:00,941 We all gathered round it because we knew that whatever else was in it, 705 00:49:01,057 --> 00:49:03,062 there would be a packet of cigarettes. 706 00:49:03,768 --> 00:49:05,939 - Oh, no. - What's that? 707 00:49:06,479 --> 00:49:07,986 - Jam. - Oh, shit. 708 00:49:08,315 --> 00:49:09,703 - Oh. - Oh, God, no. 709 00:49:11,277 --> 00:49:14,575 Of the 20 of us, I was the only one that didn't smoke. 710 00:49:18,410 --> 00:49:19,661 Gentle. 711 00:49:21,788 --> 00:49:24,173 Tweezers... Give him your tweezers. 712 00:49:24,375 --> 00:49:26,047 Lionel... Lionel... 713 00:49:28,337 --> 00:49:30,140 [- {soldier 2] Easy! 714 00:49:30,340 --> 00:49:31,728 Yes! 715 00:49:32,258 --> 00:49:33,510 Yes. 716 00:49:33,760 --> 00:49:36,726 Like a surgeon at work. Go on, that's it. 717 00:49:39,433 --> 00:49:42,114 The cravings of those 19 boys were so intense 718 00:49:42,228 --> 00:49:45,242 that it somehow seeped into me, by osmosis or something. 719 00:49:47,692 --> 00:49:49,283 I think they're ready. 720 00:49:50,028 --> 00:49:51,280 Come on, boys. 721 00:49:52,406 --> 00:49:54,538 - Right, they're dry. - Yes! 722 00:49:54,575 --> 00:49:55,827 Come on. 723 00:49:57,036 --> 00:49:58,306 Give us a light. 724 00:50:06,046 --> 00:50:08,052 I who had never smoked, 725 00:50:08,174 --> 00:50:11,437 was craving a fag‚ dying for a cigarette. 726 00:50:24,400 --> 00:50:26,038 So that was my first cigarette. 727 00:50:26,486 --> 00:50:29,500 It was pink and swollen and strawberry-flavoured. 728 00:50:37,415 --> 00:50:39,752 - He hasn't turned up. - He will. 729 00:50:39,959 --> 00:50:41,211 Good. 730 00:50:41,586 --> 00:50:43,899 You're very kind to do this for me, William. 731 00:50:44,381 --> 00:50:47,146 I don't have the will to end it on my own. 732 00:50:52,090 --> 00:50:54,890 I know what it's like with kind men. 733 00:50:56,478 --> 00:50:57,729 You give, 734 00:50:58,227 --> 00:51:01,274 console and offer oceans of sympathy. 735 00:51:03,194 --> 00:51:07,370 And the girl soon finds she has this great debt of goodness 736 00:51:07,490 --> 00:51:09,875 that finally needs to be rewarded. 737 00:51:12,246 --> 00:51:14,880 And you get what you wanted all along. 738 00:51:17,585 --> 00:51:21,548 On the whole, women prefer to be seized and taken, 739 00:51:24,051 --> 00:51:26,554 not have their resistance worn down. 740 00:51:29,473 --> 00:51:31,194 Oh, William, I do like you. 741 00:51:32,685 --> 00:51:35,134 If I got my body back, I would probably give it to you. 742 00:51:35,397 --> 00:51:37,117 Send me a postcard when it happens. 743 00:51:37,232 --> 00:51:39,487 Oh, please don't go, William. I need your help. 744 00:51:43,572 --> 00:51:44,830 William, 745 00:51:45,742 --> 00:51:47,996 this is Paul, my tutor I was telling you about. 746 00:51:48,536 --> 00:51:51,087 Well, William, it's time for you to leave. 747 00:51:58,798 --> 00:52:00,139 Paul! Stop! 748 00:52:00,425 --> 00:52:01,932 Don't hurt him any more. 749 00:52:06,994 --> 00:52:08,916 Oh, darling, oh. 750 00:52:09,518 --> 00:52:10,776 Paul, I'm so sorry. 751 00:52:12,689 --> 00:52:15,323 Are you all right? 752 00:52:19,363 --> 00:52:24,501 Order! O-R-D-E-R. 753 00:52:25,495 --> 00:52:27,464 You'll be typing like girls in no time. 754 00:52:31,251 --> 00:52:33,138 What are you flouncing about, Henderson? 755 00:52:33,253 --> 00:52:36,468 I'm still trying to type like a girl, like you said, Sarge. 756 00:52:36,674 --> 00:52:38,560 Are you a Nancy boy, Henderson? 757 00:52:38,676 --> 00:52:40,230 No, Sarge, I'm not. 758 00:52:40,511 --> 00:52:42,235 But I've fucked a lot of boys who are. 759 00:52:45,308 --> 00:52:48,073 - Well? What happened? - I found her. 760 00:52:48,312 --> 00:52:50,364 - The mysterious lady? - Yes. 761 00:52:51,774 --> 00:52:54,823 - Well, how was it? - Eventful. 762 00:52:58,073 --> 00:52:59,912 Come on, out with it. 763 00:53:00,284 --> 00:53:02,538 I fell in love, got in a fight. 764 00:53:02,647 --> 00:53:05,447 - Did you win? - Won the fight, lost the girl. 765 00:53:06,341 --> 00:53:08,429 I don't understand them. 766 00:53:09,186 --> 00:53:11,192 - Women? - Yes. 767 00:53:11,490 --> 00:53:13,626 I mean, no, I don't. 768 00:53:49,255 --> 00:53:51,011 Silence! 769 00:53:53,677 --> 00:53:56,805 The new Hitchcock film opened this week, Strangers on a Train. 770 00:53:57,097 --> 00:53:59,365 These two guys both have someone they want to kill. 771 00:53:59,390 --> 00:54:02,320 Yes, they exchange victims. That way each would have an alibi. 772 00:54:02,645 --> 00:54:04,401 Exactly. 773 00:54:04,898 --> 00:54:07,256 Now, if we could find someone to kill Bradley for us, 774 00:54:07,317 --> 00:54:09,868 I'd be happy to kill his nagging wife for him. 775 00:54:11,739 --> 00:54:14,669 It's spooky. I think he knows our thoughts. 776 00:54:15,785 --> 00:54:17,208 He's evil. 777 00:54:25,421 --> 00:54:27,889 Here, tell me about the lovely Sophie. 778 00:54:28,007 --> 00:54:30,475 Did you get your way with her? 779 00:54:30,969 --> 00:54:33,852 Well, Sophie's a nice gin, not a slapper. 780 00:54:36,058 --> 00:54:38,277 I have too much respect for her. 781 00:54:38,519 --> 00:54:41,652 Respect? You, the master of disrespect? 782 00:54:42,523 --> 00:54:43,947 Fuck you. 783 00:54:48,280 --> 00:54:50,228 - Do you hear what's he's whistling? - Yes. 784 00:54:50,254 --> 00:54:51,887 We're Soldiers of the Queen, My Lad. 785 00:54:51,912 --> 00:54:53,778 Ah, the King must be dead. 786 00:54:56,497 --> 00:54:58,633 "We're soldiers of the Queen..." 787 00:54:59,459 --> 00:55:02,971 We're soldiers of the Queen, mylad. 788 00:55:03,088 --> 00:55:06,517 The Queen, my lad The Queen, my lad. 789 00:55:06,634 --> 00:55:09,398 We're soldiers of the Queen, mylad. 790 00:55:09,971 --> 00:55:12,391 Have you heard the news? The King is dead. 791 00:55:15,727 --> 00:55:17,448 On whose authority? 792 00:55:17,730 --> 00:55:20,632 We heard this cook whistling We're Soldiers of the Queen, My Lad, 793 00:55:20,657 --> 00:55:21,908 so we know. 794 00:55:24,779 --> 00:55:26,031 Yes. 795 00:55:26,072 --> 00:55:29,869 We're soldiers of the Queen, mylad. 796 00:55:31,078 --> 00:55:33,498 Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. 797 00:55:33,742 --> 00:55:36,840 And based on this whistling cook, 798 00:55:37,126 --> 00:55:42,430 you countenance this rumour, this seditious rumour, 799 00:55:43,011 --> 00:55:47,104 a rumour concerning our monarch, a false rumour, Sergeant. 800 00:55:47,365 --> 00:55:49,086 If the King were dead, 801 00:55:49,501 --> 00:55:51,838 the regimental flag would be flying at half-mast. 802 00:55:51,921 --> 00:55:54,733 Take a look out of the window. Is the flag flying at half-mast? 803 00:55:54,759 --> 00:55:58,390 He's dead. He never wanted to be King and now he isn't. 804 00:55:59,529 --> 00:56:03,954 Did you or did you not sign an oath of allegiance to the King 805 00:56:04,034 --> 00:56:06,004 when you joined the Army, Sergeant? 806 00:56:06,104 --> 00:56:08,572 I didn't join. I was conscripted. 807 00:56:08,923 --> 00:56:12,886 Have you no respect for the King, for the Army, for your country, 808 00:56:13,020 --> 00:56:15,025 or do you save all your respect 809 00:56:15,179 --> 00:56:17,564 for that little floozy you run around with? 810 00:56:23,054 --> 00:56:27,017 You have less than a year to serve, Sergeant Hapgood. 811 00:56:27,142 --> 00:56:31,283 An assault would cost you an extra six months in military prison! 812 00:56:31,397 --> 00:56:33,236 Next time I will kill you. 813 00:56:39,864 --> 00:56:43,080 I know you fought in the war, the war against fascism, 814 00:56:43,202 --> 00:56:45,650 though it's hard to think of you being against fascism. 815 00:56:46,372 --> 00:56:48,175 And maybe you were a hero. 816 00:56:48,624 --> 00:56:50,380 Did you shoot Germans? 817 00:56:50,585 --> 00:56:53,468 Was your best friend killed? Did you lose the woman you loved? 818 00:56:53,630 --> 00:56:55,718 Though it takes a supreme act of imagination 819 00:56:55,841 --> 00:56:58,973 to think of you loving anyone or anything except the Army. 820 00:56:59,887 --> 00:57:02,106 I am sorry for you, Sergeant Major Bradley. 821 00:57:02,390 --> 00:57:04,062 You are a pathetic figure. 822 00:57:05,185 --> 00:57:07,407 And I want you to know that what you said to Percy 823 00:57:07,432 --> 00:57:09,817 amounts to a declaration of war. 824 00:57:10,732 --> 00:57:15,657 You are weak, Sergeant Rohan, because you lack conviction. 825 00:57:18,616 --> 00:57:20,752 I have nothing to fear from you. 826 00:57:42,935 --> 00:57:44,905 Private Redmond. 827 00:57:45,188 --> 00:57:47,592 As you know, a little twerp has refused to go to Korea 828 00:57:47,617 --> 00:57:50,381 after listening to Sergeant Rohan's little fucking talks. 829 00:57:51,320 --> 00:57:55,543 Well, that means we're a man short, so I've put you in to fill the hole. 830 00:57:56,158 --> 00:57:59,374 Meanwhile, you can trot off back to the centre, pending your posting. 831 00:58:03,041 --> 00:58:05,722 Of course, if that clock were to turn up, 832 00:58:05,836 --> 00:58:08,601 well, things might be different. 833 00:58:26,192 --> 00:58:29,656 - Did they leave you off, Redmond? - Yes, sir. Sorry, sir. 834 00:58:30,739 --> 00:58:33,503 Well, I'll make sure you're in the next batch. 835 00:58:39,415 --> 00:58:40,673 Can I come in, Percy? 836 00:58:42,377 --> 00:58:43,884 Your fucking head's already in. 837 00:58:47,257 --> 00:58:50,355 - You wanted to see me? - I thought you were off to Korea? 838 00:58:50,803 --> 00:58:52,643 It's still hanging over me. 839 00:58:54,474 --> 00:58:58,271 I've been perusing Bradley’s bible, the Army Act. 840 00:58:58,604 --> 00:59:00,609 I think we might hoist him on his own petard. 841 00:59:01,357 --> 00:59:02,608 What? Hang him? 842 00:59:07,572 --> 00:59:09,791 Listen to this. 843 00:59:10,075 --> 00:59:13,338 "It is an offence for an NCO to admonish another NCO 844 00:59:13,454 --> 00:59:15,541 in the presence of a private soldier." 845 00:59:15,956 --> 00:59:17,463 So? 846 00:59:19,001 --> 00:59:22,051 Here's what we do. Percy and I provoke him into a rant 847 00:59:22,172 --> 00:59:24,303 and you slip into the room without him noticing. 848 00:59:24,328 --> 00:59:27,259 And we charge him and march him down to Major fucking Cross. 849 00:59:28,679 --> 00:59:30,233 So what do I get out of it? 850 00:59:31,432 --> 00:59:32,986 You get Bradley off your back. 851 00:59:34,310 --> 00:59:36,481 If you were to get the RSM off me back, Percy... 852 00:59:40,442 --> 00:59:42,737 - And how would I do that? - You fucking know how. 853 00:59:42,764 --> 00:59:44,295 - Say it, Redmond. - Give it back. 854 00:59:44,322 --> 00:59:47,419 - Give what back? - The clock, the fucking clock. 855 00:59:51,913 --> 00:59:56,553 Well, let's get rid of Bradley and then we'll see about the RSM. 856 00:59:57,128 --> 00:59:59,097 You can trust me. 857 01:00:00,548 --> 01:00:03,016 - Sergeant Rohan? - Yes? 858 01:00:06,430 --> 01:00:08,400 At the gate, Sarge. 859 01:00:16,983 --> 01:00:20,661 William, I didn't know how else to reach you. I'm staying with my aunt. 860 01:00:21,113 --> 01:00:23,664 - What do you want? - To say sorry. 861 01:00:24,992 --> 01:00:26,244 I'm so sorry. 862 01:00:26,619 --> 01:00:29,585 - For what? - For ruining your 48-hour pass. 863 01:00:31,583 --> 01:00:34,347 Everything. What a bitch! Can you forgive me? 864 01:00:34,670 --> 01:00:36,666 Can you let me out for a few minutes, please? 865 01:00:36,691 --> 01:00:39,009 No, Sarge. I took a risk in coming to get you. 866 01:00:39,133 --> 01:00:42,480 It meant leaving my post. Can't open the gate. 867 01:00:50,729 --> 01:00:52,569 I go on leave tomorrow. 868 01:00:52,982 --> 01:00:54,821 Come with me, to my parents'. 869 01:00:55,693 --> 01:00:57,449 And my sister's back from Canada. 870 01:00:57,904 --> 01:01:01,618 I can't, William. I can meet you in a couple of days. 871 01:01:02,826 --> 01:01:05,626 - What's their telephone number? - They don't have a phone. 872 01:01:06,038 --> 01:01:08,969 - They don't have a phone? - No one I know has a phone. 873 01:01:10,376 --> 01:01:12,263 I'll give you the address. 874 01:01:12,546 --> 01:01:16,473 - The Sphinx... - Sphinx? Like in Egypt? 875 01:01:17,176 --> 01:01:19,680 The Sphinx, Pharaoh's Island, Shepperton. 876 01:01:20,179 --> 01:01:22,220 Pharaoh's Island? Are you kidding? 877 01:01:22,432 --> 01:01:25,149 No. Ring the bell. 878 01:01:29,565 --> 01:01:30,816 Billy! 879 01:01:33,569 --> 01:01:36,250 Billy! Look at you! 880 01:01:37,115 --> 01:01:39,200 You were a skinny little 9-year-old when I left 881 01:01:39,225 --> 01:01:40,998 and now you're a big sexy man. 882 01:01:41,119 --> 01:01:44,022 Stop with the kisses. I preferred it when you used to beat me up. 883 01:01:44,047 --> 01:01:44,999 Yeah, I hated you. 884 01:01:45,207 --> 01:01:47,837 I was an only child for eight years and then you turned up. 885 01:01:47,862 --> 01:01:49,998 - I wanted to kill you. - Sorry. 886 01:01:50,755 --> 01:01:52,428 Come on. Come on, Bill! 887 01:01:54,926 --> 01:01:56,896 Mum, Bill's here. 888 01:01:58,848 --> 01:02:01,268 - Oh, Bill, you're home! - Hello, Mum. 889 01:02:01,392 --> 01:02:02,643 Oh! 890 01:02:03,186 --> 01:02:04,858 - Look at you. - I've missed you. 891 01:02:04,979 --> 01:02:06,231 - Come in. - Look at her. 892 01:02:06,314 --> 01:02:08,117 I haven't missed you at all. 893 01:02:08,567 --> 01:02:11,699 Come and sit. Come and sit. Come and sit. Oh! My darling. 894 01:02:11,820 --> 01:02:13,458 - Oh, Bill. - Hello, Dad. 895 01:02:13,864 --> 01:02:17,079 Bill... Grace, where did I leave those newspapers? 896 01:02:17,201 --> 01:02:19,538 Oh, where you left them. 897 01:02:20,247 --> 01:02:25,716 I was mortified. My own son named and shamed in these newspapers. 898 01:02:25,836 --> 01:02:29,135 - Shamed. - What is it? "Seducing." 899 01:02:29,257 --> 01:02:31,524 "Seducing a soldier from the course of his duties." 900 01:02:31,549 --> 01:02:32,526 Seducing? 901 01:02:32,552 --> 01:02:34,638 Are you saying that my grandson's a homosexual? 902 01:02:34,813 --> 01:02:35,857 Oh... 903 01:02:36,067 --> 01:02:39,313 - A nine-bob note? - Of course not, Dada. 904 01:02:39,852 --> 01:02:42,356 I... I mean, look at it. 905 01:02:42,480 --> 01:02:44,236 Look at it. 906 01:02:45,233 --> 01:02:48,531 Do you know how humiliating it is 907 01:02:49,071 --> 01:02:50,993 for a man who fought in two world wars? 908 01:02:51,115 --> 01:02:52,838 Except you didn't actually fight, Dad. 909 01:02:52,950 --> 01:02:55,086 - I rode into battle. - With a drawn sword. 910 01:02:55,411 --> 01:02:57,831 - Leading my Gurkhas. - Against the Turks. 911 01:02:57,956 --> 01:02:59,462 It was a suicide mission. 912 01:02:59,666 --> 01:03:01,338 Except the Turks had skedaddled. 913 01:03:01,580 --> 01:03:03,486 They were terrified of facing the Gurkhas. 914 01:03:03,511 --> 01:03:06,062 Or was it Dad on his horse who made them run? 915 01:03:06,841 --> 01:03:10,851 And as for the Second World War, you were stationed up North, 916 01:03:10,970 --> 01:03:13,391 some place the Luftwaffe had never heard of, 917 01:03:13,515 --> 01:03:15,935 while we were in London getting bombed every night. 918 01:03:16,268 --> 01:03:19,234 Well, I'm a patriot. Bill is clearly not. 919 01:03:19,355 --> 01:03:21,360 - I was exonerated, Dad. - Oh. 920 01:03:21,649 --> 01:03:25,446 So, you're not... You're not a Nancy boy after all. 921 01:03:25,737 --> 01:03:28,585 Yeah, well, those two spies are, Burgess and Maclean. 922 01:03:28,698 --> 01:03:31,997 Buggery and skulduggery go hand-in-hand. 923 01:03:32,119 --> 01:03:33,840 I don't suppose 924 01:03:33,954 --> 01:03:36,968 either of you are interested in the Coronation? 925 01:03:37,083 --> 01:03:39,847 Well, I am and so is Grace. 926 01:03:40,170 --> 01:03:42,190 - Don't... - I've bought 927 01:03:42,339 --> 01:03:45,388 one of these television things to watch it on. 928 01:03:45,843 --> 01:03:49,307 And unless it's against your principles, 929 01:03:49,931 --> 01:03:53,728 I would be very grateful for a hand setting it up. 930 01:03:55,812 --> 01:03:57,366 - How about this? - Stop. 931 01:03:57,481 --> 01:03:59,652 That's too far. Back a bit. 932 01:04:00,734 --> 01:04:02,206 - A little more. - There? 933 01:04:03,195 --> 01:04:06,079 No. No, go South. 934 01:04:06,199 --> 01:04:07,967 South. You have to turn it south, Bill. 935 01:04:09,244 --> 01:04:11,000 No, no, no. Go back, back. 936 01:04:11,413 --> 01:04:13,798 - You've got to go back. - That it? 937 01:04:13,916 --> 01:04:18,757 That's it. No. No. We're talking subtle increments here. 938 01:04:19,088 --> 01:04:21,936 That's too much, that's too much, Bill. We're talking subtle, 939 01:04:22,050 --> 01:04:23,687 subtle increments, okay? 940 01:04:23,969 --> 01:04:27,101 - Subtle increments? - To the south. 941 01:04:27,514 --> 01:04:29,899 No, back. Okay, back, back. 942 01:04:30,768 --> 01:04:32,856 There we are. Hold it! Hold it. We've almost... 943 01:04:32,979 --> 01:04:35,198 Oh, blast. We've lost it. 944 01:04:35,440 --> 01:04:36,781 You've lost it, Bill! 945 01:04:37,025 --> 01:04:38,295 - There? - Great! 946 01:04:38,321 --> 01:04:39,745 - Keep it there. - Yeah? 947 01:04:40,254 --> 01:04:41,633 - You sure? - Hold it. 948 01:04:41,659 --> 01:04:43,452 Hold it. There we are. There we are. 949 01:04:43,574 --> 01:04:46,368 We've got a picture, Bill. You did it! 950 01:04:49,080 --> 01:04:51,928 Here's my friend Percy. He's come in a red sportscar. 951 01:04:52,042 --> 01:04:53,335 Would you fetch him, Dawn? 952 01:05:04,264 --> 01:05:05,557 Hello! 953 01:05:19,239 --> 01:05:21,920 The crowned heads of Europe continue to arrive in London 954 01:05:22,368 --> 01:05:25,500 for the coronation of Queen Elizabeth II. 955 01:05:25,746 --> 01:05:27,549 Preparations continue 956 01:05:27,665 --> 01:05:31,213 and the Golden Coach has been put through its paces up and down The Mail. 957 01:05:31,336 --> 01:05:33,785 So, where did you get that beautiful sports car, Percy? 958 01:05:33,810 --> 01:05:35,061 I stole it. 959 01:05:35,215 --> 01:05:37,636 But I'll return it before the owner gets back. 960 01:05:38,094 --> 01:05:39,482 Percy has no conscience. 961 01:05:39,804 --> 01:05:41,244 It's supposed to prick you, but it never does... 962 01:05:41,270 --> 01:05:42,857 - What? - But it never does. 963 01:05:42,883 --> 01:05:45,434 Don't you feel even a twinge of guilt about the owner? 964 01:05:45,553 --> 01:05:47,528 God, no. I rather resent him. 965 01:05:47,646 --> 01:05:48,987 Please. 966 01:05:49,231 --> 01:05:52,826 The tank was nearly empty and I had to fill it up with my own money. 967 01:05:53,294 --> 01:05:54,545 Shh! 968 01:05:54,570 --> 01:05:55,822 Shh! 969 01:06:04,248 --> 01:06:07,214 Blue 970 01:06:08,628 --> 01:06:11,677 Moon. 971 01:06:13,425 --> 01:06:16,558 You saw me standing alone. 972 01:06:17,304 --> 01:06:20,686 So, have you guys got girlfriends? 973 01:06:23,186 --> 01:06:25,357 Son of but... 974 01:06:26,189 --> 01:06:28,325 she lives in a hospital, I live in a camp. 975 01:06:28,442 --> 01:06:31,657 We have nowhere to go. We end up in the wet grass. 976 01:06:33,698 --> 01:06:35,454 Making love? 977 01:06:37,202 --> 01:06:40,417 - Conditions are never quite right. - What? 978 01:06:40,622 --> 01:06:43,553 I would do it anywhere at your age, well, younger than you. 979 01:06:43,667 --> 01:06:47,049 Wet grass, in the rain, against a wall. 980 01:06:47,171 --> 01:06:48,512 And look what happened. 981 01:06:48,631 --> 01:06:50,850 You got knocked up at 17 and shamed your family. 982 01:06:50,967 --> 01:06:54,100 It was the war. Do it quick before a bomb drops on your head. 983 01:06:54,221 --> 01:06:56,191 It was urgent. 984 01:06:58,267 --> 01:06:59,525 - Billy. - No. 985 01:06:59,852 --> 01:07:01,145 Yes. 986 01:07:01,896 --> 01:07:04,862 And you, Billy boy? Have you got a girl? 987 01:07:04,983 --> 01:07:07,320 Kind of. You'll meet her tomorrow. 988 01:07:07,611 --> 01:07:11,242 Tomorrow? What does "kind of" mean? 989 01:07:11,490 --> 01:07:13,460 It's complicated. 990 01:07:17,747 --> 01:07:20,713 - She's in love with someone else and... - Oh... 991 01:07:20,834 --> 01:07:23,338 she's turning Bill inside-out. 992 01:07:23,462 --> 01:07:24,713 Billy. 993 01:07:24,964 --> 01:07:26,767 And she's really old. 994 01:07:27,133 --> 01:07:30,645 - What? Old like me? - Not as old as that. 995 01:07:32,472 --> 01:07:35,438 I am going for a swim. 996 01:07:35,559 --> 01:07:37,896 The moon had turned to gold. 997 01:07:40,648 --> 01:07:42,202 - Blue moon. - Come on, boys! 998 01:07:42,316 --> 01:07:44,452 Don't be boring! 999 01:07:46,237 --> 01:07:49,666 Now I'm no Langer alone. - Whoo! 1000 01:08:33,457 --> 01:08:35,545 - Is Dawn not up yet? - No. 1001 01:08:35,793 --> 01:08:37,763 - Percy? - Still in bed. 1002 01:08:39,631 --> 01:08:42,182 I'm worried about Dawn, Billy. 1003 01:08:42,592 --> 01:08:45,725 She came for a holiday but I don't think she intends to go back. 1004 01:08:45,846 --> 01:08:48,266 She wouldn't abandon the children. 1005 01:09:00,237 --> 01:09:02,233 Was that Mac you were waving to this morning? 1006 01:09:05,660 --> 01:09:07,915 - You saw him? - And you. 1007 01:09:08,788 --> 01:09:10,461 Waving. 1008 01:09:11,416 --> 01:09:13,885 - Do you still see him? - No. 1009 01:09:15,463 --> 01:09:17,764 We never meet. 1010 01:09:18,007 --> 01:09:19,977 We wave. 1011 01:09:20,218 --> 01:09:22,188 Just wave. 1012 01:09:26,100 --> 01:09:28,022 I'm sorry, Billy. 1013 01:09:28,686 --> 01:09:32,234 It was the war. We all did silly things. 1014 01:09:32,357 --> 01:09:34,023 I was 10. 1015 01:09:34,581 --> 01:09:37,357 Do I betray my mother or do I betray my father? 1016 01:09:42,118 --> 01:09:44,039 On, Billy. 1017 01:09:45,997 --> 01:09:48,252 It's so good to have you home. 1018 01:10:01,890 --> 01:10:04,275 You can go. Be back in an hour. 1019 01:10:12,860 --> 01:10:14,414 Ophelia! 1020 01:10:27,085 --> 01:10:29,635 Wow. She's elegant, all right. 1021 01:10:35,511 --> 01:10:38,560 Look at the way she stepped into the boat. It's not easy. 1022 01:10:39,307 --> 01:10:42,237 Well, William. You really do live on an island. 1023 01:10:46,315 --> 01:10:48,402 She has a great body. 1024 01:10:48,609 --> 01:10:51,457 I'm beginning to see why Bill keeps at it. 1025 01:10:51,737 --> 01:10:57,373 Yeah, she's... She's beautiful but she's not... sensual. 1026 01:10:59,871 --> 01:11:01,343 How can you tell that? 1027 01:11:01,874 --> 01:11:03,784 Oh, because when you're sensual yourself, 1028 01:11:03,810 --> 01:11:06,279 you can always tell if it's missing in someone else. 1029 01:11:08,464 --> 01:11:09,888 Oh. 1030 01:11:17,683 --> 01:11:19,854 Yeah, no, she hasn't got it. 1031 01:11:21,896 --> 01:11:24,067 The full welcome. 1032 01:11:24,316 --> 01:11:26,653 Is this the first time you've brought a girl home? 1033 01:11:27,277 --> 01:11:29,199 You're so beautiful. 1034 01:11:30,531 --> 01:11:32,002 Thank you for coming. 1035 01:11:35,745 --> 01:11:37,881 Class written all over her. 1036 01:11:38,081 --> 01:11:41,463 What can a woman like that see in Bill? 1037 01:11:41,794 --> 01:11:43,087 Bit old. 1038 01:11:44,880 --> 01:11:46,434 Hi! Hello. 1039 01:11:49,469 --> 01:11:52,566 How lovely. Ophelia, isn't it? 1040 01:11:52,806 --> 01:11:54,776 It can be. 1041 01:11:55,100 --> 01:11:58,031 I hope you'll watch the coronation with us. 1042 01:11:58,145 --> 01:12:01,242 Oh, sadly, I can't. I'm being picked up in an hour. 1043 01:12:02,025 --> 01:12:03,448 - Oh... 1044 01:12:03,651 --> 01:12:05,657 Oh, well. Come in. 1045 01:12:07,155 --> 01:12:09,125 "I'm being picked up in an hour." 1046 01:12:09,241 --> 01:12:11,329 I'm sorry. 1047 01:12:15,248 --> 01:12:20,254 Stop it. So... So, what do you, uh, study at Oxford? 1048 01:12:20,796 --> 01:12:22,349 Philosophy. 1049 01:12:23,549 --> 01:12:25,934 Does that help you understand life? 1050 01:12:26,677 --> 01:12:29,774 On the contrary, the more I read, the less I understand. 1051 01:12:30,682 --> 01:12:31,933 Oh. 1052 01:12:32,392 --> 01:12:36,236 See, I thought it was supposed to, um, guide your behaviour, you know? 1053 01:12:36,522 --> 01:12:40,532 I'm amazed at how people do behave. Aren't you Dawn? 1054 01:12:43,238 --> 01:12:44,958 All the time. 1055 01:12:45,365 --> 01:12:48,462 I find my own behaviour impossible to understand. 1056 01:12:50,287 --> 01:12:53,799 - What about Bill's behaviour? - Oh, yes. 1057 01:12:55,334 --> 01:12:56,592 William... 1058 01:12:57,253 --> 01:12:59,508 - William? - Yes, William. 1059 01:13:00,006 --> 01:13:02,343 I take him seriously. I take his name seriously. 1060 01:13:02,593 --> 01:13:04,645 Stop quizzing the poor girl. 1061 01:13:05,095 --> 01:13:06,852 I'm sorry, Ophelia, 1062 01:13:06,972 --> 01:13:11,196 but we islanders are so fascinated by people from the mainland. 1063 01:13:14,189 --> 01:13:15,743 Oh, come on. 1064 01:13:15,941 --> 01:13:18,955 And the Queen will pass 1065 01:13:19,695 --> 01:13:24,584 as they move in slow procession through the aisle of the abbey... 1066 01:13:26,161 --> 01:13:28,961 What other nation could put on a pageant like this? 1067 01:13:30,958 --> 01:13:33,177 There's hope in it. 1068 01:13:35,630 --> 01:13:38,098 We're entering a new Elizabethan age. 1069 01:13:38,216 --> 01:13:40,138 God forbid. 1070 01:13:40,552 --> 01:13:44,313 The first Elizabeth murdered her cousin, 1071 01:13:44,431 --> 01:13:47,279 persecuted Catholics and died a virgin. 1072 01:13:47,393 --> 01:13:49,730 Oh, shut up, Dada. 1073 01:13:51,064 --> 01:13:54,029 Oh, that poor, sweet girl. 1074 01:13:54,150 --> 01:13:56,370 She's Dawn's age. 1075 01:13:56,486 --> 01:13:58,492 She has to take on a life of duty. 1076 01:13:58,697 --> 01:14:01,996 And she'll never have to draw a curtain or draw a bath 1077 01:14:02,451 --> 01:14:04,421 or squeeze her own toothpaste. 1078 01:14:04,871 --> 01:14:09,297 Our queen deserves a few small comforts to help her through it. 1079 01:14:10,752 --> 01:14:12,722 God bless her. 1080 01:14:14,882 --> 01:14:18,062 I agree. It's all quite lovely. 1081 01:14:18,498 --> 01:14:21,215 - They're all Germans. - Oh! 1082 01:14:21,487 --> 01:14:23,971 The Kaiser was Queen Victoria's nephew. 1083 01:14:24,242 --> 01:14:26,828 Now they call themselves Windsor. 1084 01:14:26,854 --> 01:14:28,859 Windsor my arse! 1085 01:14:28,981 --> 01:14:33,039 Windsor is a brown soup or a way to knot your tie. 1086 01:14:33,153 --> 01:14:35,158 It is not a royal line. 1087 01:14:35,280 --> 01:14:36,531 Have some respect, George. 1088 01:14:36,615 --> 01:14:38,287 It's all medieval mumbo jumbo. 1089 01:14:38,408 --> 01:14:40,710 They're calling on God to anoint them. 1090 01:14:40,828 --> 01:14:43,711 "The divine right of kings." 1091 01:14:43,998 --> 01:14:45,671 Tradition. 1092 01:14:46,584 --> 01:14:49,384 Do not underestimate the power of tradition. 1093 01:14:49,504 --> 01:14:51,001 It doesn't matter. It's harmless. 1094 01:14:51,026 --> 01:14:53,723 Why get so worked up about it? It's just fun. 1095 01:14:53,926 --> 01:14:55,314 Oh! It's Ophelia! 1096 01:14:55,803 --> 01:14:58,022 - I saw Ophelia! - It can't be. 1097 01:14:58,489 --> 01:14:59,741 It was her. 1098 01:14:59,766 --> 01:15:01,937 Look! Look! There she is again. 1099 01:15:02,060 --> 01:15:03,353 - There. - It is. It is. 1100 01:15:07,024 --> 01:15:09,325 - What's her family name? - I don't know. 1101 01:15:09,652 --> 01:15:12,915 You don't know? What? Are you witless? 1102 01:15:14,491 --> 01:15:16,911 I don't even know her first name. It's not Ophelia. 1103 01:15:18,370 --> 01:15:20,836 History will be written and sung hem today... 1104 01:15:22,124 --> 01:15:25,471 I've got to get that car back before the end of the ceremony. 1105 01:15:25,586 --> 01:15:27,556 The owner's also in the abbey. 1106 01:15:33,011 --> 01:15:37,188 Billy, why are you against everything? 1107 01:15:37,808 --> 01:15:39,648 Like what? 1108 01:15:39,894 --> 01:15:43,489 Like the Army, the war, royalty, 1109 01:15:43,607 --> 01:15:45,908 the Tories, the class system, God, 1110 01:15:45,934 --> 01:15:47,904 Dad's patriotism. 1111 01:15:48,445 --> 01:15:50,996 So, what are you for? 1112 01:15:51,240 --> 01:15:53,447 - What are you for? - Me? 1113 01:15:54,018 --> 01:15:58,325 Life, love, freedom, adventure. 1114 01:15:58,874 --> 01:16:01,010 Does that include flirting with Percy? 1115 01:16:03,671 --> 01:16:07,432 It's interesting that you choose a friend with no morals or scruples. 1116 01:16:07,675 --> 01:16:10,310 That way you owe him nothing, like no commitment. 1117 01:16:10,554 --> 01:16:14,896 And this girl, you're entranced by her. 1118 01:16:16,268 --> 01:16:19,502 She's in love with someone else, unhappily. 1119 01:16:19,587 --> 01:16:22,875 Probably married. And you think you have to protect her, 1120 01:16:22,901 --> 01:16:26,164 like you protected Mother when she was having it off with Mac. 1121 01:16:26,989 --> 01:16:30,086 And because Ophelia is not free, 1122 01:16:30,409 --> 01:16:33,375 you're free to yearn for her. 1123 01:16:35,331 --> 01:16:37,882 That girl needs a rock, not a wet rag. 1124 01:16:38,001 --> 01:16:39,508 For God's sake, stop. 1125 01:16:40,671 --> 01:16:42,723 And leave me alone. 1126 01:16:43,048 --> 01:16:45,683 You look at yourself. Your marriage is messed up, 1127 01:16:46,761 --> 01:16:49,479 you left your kids behind. Don't lecture me. 1128 01:16:49,764 --> 01:16:52,366 Sorry, Billy. Come and sit down. 1129 01:16:52,392 --> 01:16:55,525 - I promise I'll be nice. - You don't know how. 1130 01:17:01,527 --> 01:17:04,625 My darling, dopey little brother. 1131 01:17:08,410 --> 01:17:11,341 Do you know, Mum and Mac... 1132 01:17:11,455 --> 01:17:13,211 Do they still see each other? 1133 01:17:13,583 --> 01:17:18,471 No. But they wave to each other across the river. 1134 01:17:19,840 --> 01:17:21,975 - Every day, they just wave. - Oh. 1135 01:17:24,136 --> 01:17:26,142 That's quite touching. 1136 01:17:30,977 --> 01:17:32,899 Their affair... 1137 01:17:34,565 --> 01:17:36,700 That's her guilt, not yours. 1138 01:17:38,903 --> 01:17:42,783 You should have told Dad instead of bottling it up for all these years. 1139 01:17:42,991 --> 01:17:44,711 I couldn't. 1140 01:17:45,243 --> 01:17:47,379 You don't think he knew at some level? 1141 01:17:49,832 --> 01:17:51,718 I don't know. 1142 01:18:08,811 --> 01:18:11,078 You're mine now, for the next two years! 1143 01:18:11,103 --> 01:18:11,904 Left, right! 1144 01:18:11,930 --> 01:18:15,777 Well, it's not the first time I've had to correct you in this matter. 1145 01:18:15,903 --> 01:18:19,415 When teaching illiterates, you will use the words in the manual, 1146 01:18:19,532 --> 01:18:21,667 not frivolous ones that pop into your head. 1147 01:18:21,784 --> 01:18:23,870 You're not teaching them to write letters home. 1148 01:18:23,895 --> 01:18:26,508 You're teaching them to understand orders, Army orders. 1149 01:18:26,623 --> 01:18:28,711 I will remind you of the words in question. 1150 01:18:28,834 --> 01:18:32,382 "Orders, regiment, sir, company, posting, 1151 01:18:32,505 --> 01:18:36,765 "Sergeant, corporal, officer, report obey." 1152 01:18:37,510 --> 01:18:39,231 Yes, obey. 1153 01:18:39,346 --> 01:18:43,143 That seems to be a word not in your vocabulary, let alone in theirs. 1154 01:18:43,267 --> 01:18:46,905 Teaching them words to write a letter home motivates them to learn to read, sir. 1155 01:18:47,021 --> 01:18:48,492 You will do as you are ordered. 1156 01:18:48,606 --> 01:18:52,237 I'm sick to death of your rigid fucking rants, sir. 1157 01:18:52,944 --> 01:18:56,159 You are a nasty little subversive. 1158 01:18:56,281 --> 01:18:59,093 You think you're clever. You think you're better than the Army. 1159 01:18:59,118 --> 01:19:02,000 You are vermin! You have infested this centre. 1160 01:19:02,121 --> 01:19:04,672 You are disruptive, rabid, rancid! 1161 01:19:04,791 --> 01:19:07,508 You have brought anarchy to this centre! 1162 01:19:08,712 --> 01:19:10,266 Should I be hearing all this, sir? 1163 01:19:13,676 --> 01:19:14,933 Section 73. 1164 01:19:15,052 --> 01:19:20,024 An NCO shall not admonish another NCO in the presence of a private soldier. 1165 01:19:21,852 --> 01:19:25,067 Are you party to this tawdry affair, Sergeant Rohan? 1166 01:19:36,868 --> 01:19:38,755 Well, this is a surprise. 1167 01:19:39,580 --> 01:19:42,546 Admonishing an NCO in the presence of a private soldier. 1168 01:19:43,668 --> 01:19:46,717 A serious offence, contrary to good order. 1169 01:19:47,797 --> 01:19:49,793 Do you admit to this, Sergeant Major Bradley? 1170 01:19:49,818 --> 01:19:51,852 - Entrapment, sir. - What? 1171 01:19:51,969 --> 01:19:55,398 - Entrapment, sir. - Entrapment? 1172 01:19:56,641 --> 01:19:58,397 Is that covered in the Army Act? 1173 01:19:58,893 --> 01:20:00,798 Well, you know it backwards. Is it in here? 1174 01:20:01,187 --> 01:20:03,323 - No, sir. - Then guilty. 1175 01:20:07,862 --> 01:20:11,125 My record is unblemished. 1176 01:20:12,283 --> 01:20:16,792 I've obeyed the law to the letter, every iota correct in every respect. 1177 01:20:17,080 --> 01:20:19,928 I'm what the Army Act intended a soldier to be. 1178 01:20:22,420 --> 01:20:24,757 The moral high ground is mine. It's mine. 1179 01:20:24,881 --> 01:20:27,515 I tell you, I'm what a soldier's supposed to be. 1180 01:20:27,634 --> 01:20:30,683 The Army is me. I am the Army. 1181 01:20:30,887 --> 01:20:35,360 Land the Army are indivisible to a tee. 1182 01:20:37,436 --> 01:20:39,489 You, sir, you fudge and prevaricate. 1183 01:20:39,731 --> 01:20:42,317 You betray your commission in your quest for easement... 1184 01:20:42,442 --> 01:20:44,438 That is quite enough, Sergeant Major Bradley. 1185 01:20:44,463 --> 01:20:46,385 You're digging a hole for yourself. 1186 01:20:47,740 --> 01:20:50,588 Relieved of duties. Confined to quarters 1187 01:20:50,993 --> 01:20:52,999 pending psychological assessment. 1188 01:20:59,837 --> 01:21:02,471 I didn't think he would fall apart. 1189 01:21:02,673 --> 01:21:05,058 The only thing I regret is we took the easy way. 1190 01:21:05,176 --> 01:21:06,849 We should have killed the bollocks. 1191 01:21:06,970 --> 01:21:08,477 We've wrecked his life, Percy. 1192 01:21:12,392 --> 01:21:15,490 Have you seen this? Invitation to the regimental ball. 1193 01:21:15,855 --> 01:21:18,358 "Officers and their ladies, NCOs and their wives, 1194 01:21:18,483 --> 01:21:20,452 "other ranks and their women." 1195 01:21:22,779 --> 01:21:25,164 It actually says that in cold print. 1196 01:21:25,282 --> 01:21:26,836 I thought you were making it up. 1197 01:21:28,202 --> 01:21:30,788 There's no mention of skivers and their slappers. 1198 01:21:31,080 --> 01:21:32,670 Get your feet off Bradley's desk. 1199 01:21:32,999 --> 01:21:34,838 Aint's his no more. 1200 01:21:35,335 --> 01:21:37,387 Clean up the place. It's a shambles. 1201 01:21:37,671 --> 01:21:38,922 Okay, Sarge. 1202 01:21:45,847 --> 01:21:47,400 Come on, do it. 1203 01:21:50,101 --> 01:21:52,985 All in good time, Percy. Will you have a beer? 1204 01:21:53,397 --> 01:21:54,951 Just get on with it. 1205 01:21:57,818 --> 01:22:01,663 I thought when I got rid of Bradley for you we could all take it nice and easy. 1206 01:22:02,657 --> 01:22:04,247 Clean up. That's an order. 1207 01:22:04,743 --> 01:22:06,665 We're all in this together, Percy. 1208 01:22:12,835 --> 01:22:14,805 Here she is, Bill. 1209 01:22:17,674 --> 01:22:20,392 Well, hello. 1210 01:22:20,594 --> 01:22:21,887 Thank you. 1211 01:22:23,347 --> 01:22:27,405 Sophie, this used to be Ophelia. And this is Sophie, Percy's friend. 1212 01:22:28,019 --> 01:22:29,941 Breast at the window. 1213 01:22:30,271 --> 01:22:32,692 Do you tell everyone? 1214 01:22:35,861 --> 01:22:40,417 So, Helen Montague, your cover is blown. 1215 01:22:41,159 --> 01:22:45,419 Pity. Anonymity was the basis of our relati... 1216 01:22:47,457 --> 01:22:49,629 Ophelia was a much nicer girl than Helen. 1217 01:22:50,669 --> 01:22:53,256 And like Ophelia, you ended up in the lily pond. 1218 01:22:53,673 --> 01:22:55,643 Not quite. 1219 01:22:56,426 --> 01:22:58,396 - Have you seen Sunset... - Boulevard? 1220 01:22:58,720 --> 01:23:01,900 I was first in the queue. Great movie. Billy Wilder. 1221 01:23:02,349 --> 01:23:05,897 That was me, face down in the swimming pool, 1222 01:23:06,020 --> 01:23:08,784 living my life in flashback like William Holden. 1223 01:23:08,940 --> 01:23:11,111 - All because of Paul? - No. 1224 01:23:13,111 --> 01:23:15,496 He got me out of myself. 1225 01:23:15,781 --> 01:23:17,786 He broke through. 1226 01:23:18,617 --> 01:23:21,038 Now I'm back in this awful shell. 1227 01:23:22,372 --> 01:23:26,963 It's like living underwater. Everything is muffled and far away. 1228 01:23:27,711 --> 01:23:28,969 I'm here. 1229 01:23:29,588 --> 01:23:31,593 Thank you, William. 1230 01:23:32,466 --> 01:23:34,472 I said I'd save you and I will. 1231 01:23:35,970 --> 01:23:37,228 How, William? 1232 01:23:37,972 --> 01:23:39,693 With love. 1233 01:23:39,808 --> 01:23:41,979 Oh? 1234 01:23:43,103 --> 01:23:46,187 I love you. I fell in love with the back of your head at that concert 1235 01:23:46,232 --> 01:23:47,483 I will always love you! 1236 01:23:49,319 --> 01:23:52,831 God, William, can't you see I'm an invalid? 1237 01:23:55,492 --> 01:23:59,206 I am going to marry a sweet, dull man 1238 01:23:59,330 --> 01:24:02,011 who will never overexcite me. 1239 01:24:05,503 --> 01:24:07,639 I liked your sister, William. 1240 01:24:08,840 --> 01:24:11,095 I wish I was more like her. 1241 01:24:12,136 --> 01:24:15,233 A free spirit, spontaneous. 1242 01:24:19,603 --> 01:24:21,026 Goodbye, William. 1243 01:24:25,484 --> 01:24:27,454 I'm so tired. 1244 01:24:40,960 --> 01:24:42,930 What is it, Bill? 1245 01:24:46,174 --> 01:24:47,728 Oh, Bill. 1246 01:24:51,054 --> 01:24:53,024 Stay in here for a bit. 1247 01:25:44,197 --> 01:25:46,167 I'm sorry. 1248 01:25:47,076 --> 01:25:49,377 - It was lovely. - You are beautiful. 1249 01:26:03,010 --> 01:26:05,431 Look. You've stopped trembling. 1250 01:26:06,055 --> 01:26:07,942 Oh, God. Percy. 1251 01:26:08,183 --> 01:26:13,356 Oh, pooey. It's my duty as a nurse. I was giving first aid. 1252 01:26:14,273 --> 01:26:17,453 My Hippocratic oath forbids me to tell Percy about it. 1253 01:26:18,277 --> 01:26:19,571 Hmm. 1254 01:26:22,532 --> 01:26:24,834 See? All better. 1255 01:26:27,288 --> 01:26:28,539 Cured. 1256 01:26:31,000 --> 01:26:32,251 Yes! 1257 01:26:33,253 --> 01:26:35,507 I'm on the list. 1258 01:26:36,047 --> 01:26:37,305 I'm on the list! 1259 01:26:38,884 --> 01:26:40,854 Oh, shit. 1260 01:26:47,602 --> 01:26:49,442 Sir. 1261 01:26:57,154 --> 01:26:58,661 Yes, sir? 1262 01:26:58,990 --> 01:27:00,662 Go in. 1263 01:27:03,620 --> 01:27:04,871 Well? 1264 01:27:05,205 --> 01:27:07,970 - Sir, it's about my posting. - Posting? 1265 01:27:08,417 --> 01:27:09,668 Korea, sir. 1266 01:27:10,252 --> 01:27:11,504 Well? 1267 01:27:12,171 --> 01:27:16,680 Well, sir, you said it might be different if... 1268 01:27:17,427 --> 01:27:18,981 If what? 1269 01:27:19,096 --> 01:27:20,353 If the clock... 1270 01:27:20,973 --> 01:27:22,230 Out with it. 1271 01:27:22,766 --> 01:27:24,819 If I could tell you something about the clock. 1272 01:27:25,186 --> 01:27:26,437 Well? 1273 01:27:28,439 --> 01:27:31,952 It was Sergeant Hapgood, sir. He took it. 1274 01:27:36,115 --> 01:27:39,544 Show us exactly what you did, Redmond. 1275 01:27:47,044 --> 01:27:49,049 The fucking window's closed, you twat. 1276 01:27:49,713 --> 01:27:52,846 Yes, sir. I opened the window before I picked up the clock, 1277 01:27:52,967 --> 01:27:56,349 I threw it out, the clock, sir, then I closed the window after. 1278 01:27:56,471 --> 01:27:58,523 Do it again. Do it right. 1279 01:28:15,325 --> 01:28:19,383 I waited till Osbourne was in the kitchen, then I did it quick. 1280 01:28:20,415 --> 01:28:23,547 - Osbourne? - Must have been very quick, sir. 1281 01:28:23,835 --> 01:28:26,553 I was only in the kitchen to drop off the crockery, like. 1282 01:28:26,797 --> 01:28:30,854 All right, we'll time it. Osbourne, off to the kitchen. 1283 01:28:31,093 --> 01:28:33,015 Redmond, do the business. 1284 01:28:37,767 --> 01:28:39,191 Go! 1285 01:28:53,660 --> 01:28:55,381 Caught red-handed. 1286 01:28:55,913 --> 01:28:58,815 What did you do when you saw Redmond holding the clock, Osbourne? 1287 01:28:58,840 --> 01:29:01,882 I didn't, sir. I swear on my mothers life. 1288 01:29:02,003 --> 01:29:04,091 I don't give a fuck about your mother's life. 1289 01:29:04,214 --> 01:29:07,311 She deserves to die for giving birth to you. 1290 01:29:08,468 --> 01:29:10,022 If you were in on it, Osbourne, 1291 01:29:10,471 --> 01:29:14,980 I swear, I'll cut your nuts off and make you swallow them. 1292 01:29:16,102 --> 01:29:20,113 Sir, I... I saw nothing, sir. 1293 01:29:22,734 --> 01:29:25,784 So, Sergeant Hapgood, 1294 01:29:25,905 --> 01:29:29,084 Redmond says you told him to throw the clock out the window. 1295 01:29:29,492 --> 01:29:30,785 Why would I do that, sir? 1296 01:29:30,910 --> 01:29:33,331 I'm asking the fucking questions! 1297 01:29:33,663 --> 01:29:36,214 - I did not. - "I did not, sir!" 1298 01:29:36,542 --> 01:29:37,930 I did not, sir! 1299 01:29:38,335 --> 01:29:41,598 Redmond, why would you agree to this plan? 1300 01:29:41,839 --> 01:29:43,227 What did you hope to gain? 1301 01:29:43,633 --> 01:29:47,264 - Percy promised to pay me, sir. - "Percy"? Your chum, is he? 1302 01:29:47,804 --> 01:29:50,688 Sergeant Hapgood, sir. - And did he pay you? 1303 01:29:50,808 --> 01:29:53,738 Yes, sir. I went straight to his quarters after. 1304 01:29:53,853 --> 01:29:57,400 He paid me. Sergeant Rohan was there. He saw it. 1305 01:29:57,899 --> 01:29:59,987 Did Sergeant Hapgood have the clock? 1306 01:30:00,110 --> 01:30:04,251 - He got it. He had it. - Did you see it in his quarters? 1307 01:30:04,657 --> 01:30:07,207 - He must have hid it, sir. Sergeant Rohan. 1308 01:30:08,369 --> 01:30:10,920 Describe what transpired, if you will. 1309 01:30:11,956 --> 01:30:14,804 Private Redmond asked Sergeant Hapgood if he had got it. 1310 01:30:15,001 --> 01:30:17,007 The clock? He meant the clock? 1311 01:30:17,421 --> 01:30:21,218 Sergeant Hapgood said, "Got what?" Redmond said, "You know what." 1312 01:30:21,342 --> 01:30:23,145 Sergeant Hapgood said, 'No, I don't.' 1313 01:30:23,386 --> 01:30:25,059 Did he give Redmond money? 1314 01:30:27,140 --> 01:30:29,395 He put something in his hand, sir. 1315 01:30:29,518 --> 01:30:32,484 I owed him money for doing my brasses. 1316 01:30:33,147 --> 01:30:35,995 I never done anyone's brasses, sir. 1317 01:30:36,275 --> 01:30:38,245 I get nignogs to do my brasses. 1318 01:30:38,361 --> 01:30:40,497 It was for throwing the clock out the window. 1319 01:30:44,576 --> 01:30:48,338 What a bunch of lying fucking wankers. 1320 01:30:49,081 --> 01:30:52,546 This clock is going to haunt you. I swear, you will never be free of it. 1321 01:30:52,669 --> 01:30:55,173 You will rue the day. 1322 01:30:55,422 --> 01:30:56,845 Dismiss! 1323 01:31:00,469 --> 01:31:03,055 Sergeant Rohan, private word. 1324 01:31:07,060 --> 01:31:08,946 Let us imagine for a moment 1325 01:31:09,062 --> 01:31:11,946 that Sergeant Hapgood was outside that window 1326 01:31:12,691 --> 01:31:15,456 and adroitly caught the flying clock. 1327 01:31:18,406 --> 01:31:21,372 Had he done so, he would have taken it back to his quarters, 1328 01:31:21,493 --> 01:31:23,249 which, of course, he shares with you. 1329 01:31:23,370 --> 01:31:25,094 And you could hardly not have seen it, 1330 01:31:25,119 --> 01:31:27,299 thus implicating you in the robbery. 1331 01:31:27,416 --> 01:31:28,970 I did not see the clock, sir. 1332 01:31:29,418 --> 01:31:33,381 Don't be hasty, Sergeant. Think carefully. 1333 01:31:35,008 --> 01:31:39,398 Next day, when the camp was turned upside-down, 1334 01:31:39,513 --> 01:31:44,105 Hapgood succeeded in disposing of the clock, if indeed he had it, 1335 01:31:44,227 --> 01:31:46,267 and you must have been aware of how he did it. 1336 01:31:49,191 --> 01:31:50,781 Habeas corpus. 1337 01:31:51,234 --> 01:31:53,619 No clock, no case. 1338 01:31:54,196 --> 01:31:55,620 So, basically, he's saying 1339 01:31:55,740 --> 01:31:58,160 if you testify against me, he'll let you off. 1340 01:31:58,284 --> 01:32:00,087 And if I don't, I'm as guilty as you. 1341 01:32:01,246 --> 01:32:06,003 The problem is, you look guilty. I don't. 1342 01:32:07,544 --> 01:32:09,479 - Anything you left out? - No, nothing. 1343 01:32:09,505 --> 01:32:12,186 What about when you went to the hospital to see Ophelia? 1344 01:32:12,300 --> 01:32:14,981 Sophie was there, wasn't she? My Sophie. 1345 01:32:15,220 --> 01:32:17,272 You left that out. I wonder why'? 1346 01:32:17,514 --> 01:32:19,851 - Didn't I mention that? - No, you fucking didn't. 1347 01:32:20,138 --> 01:32:22,269 - Where's Redmond? - He's locked up in his cell. 1348 01:32:22,294 --> 01:32:25,509 For his own safety. Afraid that I'm going to fucking kill him. 1349 01:32:26,566 --> 01:32:28,785 Look, just give it back, the clock. 1350 01:32:29,027 --> 01:32:31,495 Let's make a deal. We give it back, they drop charges. 1351 01:32:31,859 --> 01:32:34,263 - You've made that deal, haven't you? - Of course not. 1352 01:32:34,288 --> 01:32:36,258 To save your own skin, you lying shit! 1353 01:32:37,286 --> 01:32:39,256 And you fucked Sophie. 1354 01:32:41,124 --> 01:32:43,260 You betrayed me, your friend, 1355 01:32:43,376 --> 01:32:45,512 and you haven't even got the guts to fight. 1356 01:32:58,143 --> 01:33:01,073 I did not make a deal with Major Cross. I denied everything! 1357 01:33:01,563 --> 01:33:04,411 But you did fuck Sophie? 1358 01:33:06,068 --> 01:33:07,362 It was a moment of madness. 1359 01:33:08,988 --> 01:33:10,376 Ophelia had just dumped me. 1360 01:33:10,949 --> 01:33:13,001 Ophelia was out of your class. 1361 01:33:13,911 --> 01:33:16,592 Sophie wanted you, not me. 1362 01:33:17,081 --> 01:33:18,967 They know what they want, women. 1363 01:33:19,250 --> 01:33:22,050 I'm sorry, Percy. 1364 01:33:22,170 --> 01:33:26,560 Well, I fucked your sister, so we're even. 1365 01:33:43,152 --> 01:33:47,079 - How did you... - Work it out? Same way as you did. 1366 01:33:47,615 --> 01:33:49,455 Only way to get it out of the camp. 1367 01:33:49,576 --> 01:33:51,047 I was complicit, sir. I... 1368 01:33:51,161 --> 01:33:53,249 No, he didn't. He knew nothing about it. 1369 01:33:53,372 --> 01:33:57,797 Sergeant Hapgood, your court martial has been arranged for next week. 1370 01:33:58,377 --> 01:34:01,474 Lieutenant Fortesque-Brown, to my right, will defend you. 1371 01:34:02,382 --> 01:34:04,517 In the meantime, you are under house arrest, 1372 01:34:05,218 --> 01:34:07,555 under the supervision of Sergeant Rohan. 1373 01:34:07,679 --> 01:34:08,937 Dismiss. 1374 01:34:21,945 --> 01:34:24,117 Shepton Mallet Military Prison. 1375 01:34:24,240 --> 01:34:26,960 The name is enough to strike fear in the bravest of soldiers, 1376 01:34:26,985 --> 01:34:28,878 let alone a fucking conscript. 1377 01:34:28,995 --> 01:34:31,250 I was Sergeant Major there for a year. 1378 01:34:31,373 --> 01:34:35,679 Hell on Earth, Hapgood. Hell on Earth. 1379 01:34:37,463 --> 01:34:40,049 How dare you take my clock! 1380 01:34:43,595 --> 01:34:46,478 - Have you done this before? - Actually not. 1381 01:34:46,723 --> 01:34:48,729 - Any legal training? - No. 1382 01:34:49,101 --> 01:34:51,735 But then, we're not expecting to win, are we? 1383 01:34:52,104 --> 01:34:55,118 The best we can do is, um... Oh, sit up, for God's sake. 1384 01:34:55,233 --> 01:34:57,500 The best we can do is get some character references 1385 01:34:57,525 --> 01:35:00,954 to say what a good chap you are and hope to reduce your sentence. 1386 01:35:01,114 --> 01:35:03,285 - Right. - Some names? 1387 01:35:03,492 --> 01:35:05,912 Private Redmond and Sergeant Major Bradley. 1388 01:35:06,245 --> 01:35:07,716 How do I Contact them? 1389 01:35:08,039 --> 01:35:09,759 Redmond's on his way to Korea 1390 01:35:09,874 --> 01:35:11,915 and Bradley’s in a military hospital somewhere. 1391 01:35:12,002 --> 01:35:14,137 I'm not a fool, Sergeant. 1392 01:35:17,091 --> 01:35:19,594 It says here that your father was killed in the war. 1393 01:35:19,969 --> 01:35:23,600 - It could help our case. - I don't want him used for this. 1394 01:35:24,098 --> 01:35:27,563 I see here he was a rear gunner in Lancaster bombers. 1395 01:35:27,686 --> 01:35:29,109 Very high mortality rate. 1396 01:35:30,314 --> 01:35:33,945 He, um, came out of a pub pissed and fell under a truck. 1397 01:35:34,068 --> 01:35:37,165 They gave him the Distinguished Flying Cross for that? 1398 01:35:38,698 --> 01:35:40,793 You are determined not to help your cause. 1399 01:35:41,576 --> 01:35:43,463 But I insist you see a psychiatrist. 1400 01:35:44,163 --> 01:35:46,002 Yours is not normal behaviour. 1401 01:35:53,757 --> 01:35:55,727 Get up off your knees. 1402 01:36:01,432 --> 01:36:04,289 If you want to do a runner, Percy, I'll get you out of the camp. 1403 01:36:04,769 --> 01:36:06,062 Right now, tonight. 1404 01:36:06,980 --> 01:36:10,029 - What, and drop you in it? - I can handle that. 1405 01:36:10,609 --> 01:36:12,911 - You'd do that for me? - Yes. 1406 01:36:13,320 --> 01:36:14,874 - Why'? - Why'? 1407 01:36:15,406 --> 01:36:16,747 Why... Why do you think? 1408 01:36:17,492 --> 01:36:19,378 Guilt, I expect. 1409 01:36:20,912 --> 01:36:22,164 Fuck you. 1410 01:36:27,753 --> 01:36:29,344 Good luck, Percy. 1411 01:36:29,964 --> 01:36:31,215 Attention! 1412 01:36:32,217 --> 01:36:35,349 All right, let's get this over with. 1413 01:36:36,513 --> 01:36:38,768 This court martial is now in session. 1414 01:36:39,992 --> 01:36:41,243 Prisoner and escort. 1415 01:36:41,268 --> 01:36:44,650 Quick march. Left, right. Left, right. Left, right. 1416 01:36:44,772 --> 01:36:46,363 Left, right. Mark time. 1417 01:36:48,443 --> 01:36:49,915 Halt. 1418 01:36:50,737 --> 01:36:52,743 Prisoner and escort salute. 1419 01:36:53,782 --> 01:36:55,914 You're accused of stealing the regimental clock. 1420 01:36:55,939 --> 01:36:57,190 How do you plead? 1421 01:36:58,037 --> 01:36:59,924 Guilty as charged, sir. 1422 01:37:01,041 --> 01:37:03,093 Major Cross, prosecuting, proceed. 1423 01:37:08,466 --> 01:37:10,934 Sergeant Hapgood, were you aware that this clock 1424 01:37:11,052 --> 01:37:14,350 was of great sentimental importance to the regiment? 1425 01:37:15,265 --> 01:37:16,516 Yes, sir. 1426 01:37:16,850 --> 01:37:20,279 - Was this clock of value to you? - No, sir. 1427 01:37:20,604 --> 01:37:23,108 So stealing the clock was an act of deliberate malice 1428 01:37:23,232 --> 01:37:24,739 towards the regiment? 1429 01:37:25,026 --> 01:37:27,031 It was a protest against the RSM. 1430 01:37:27,487 --> 01:37:28,875 Why the RSM? 1431 01:37:31,116 --> 01:37:35,376 Because... Because he is a sadistic bully. 1432 01:37:35,788 --> 01:37:37,959 You're not helping your cause, Sergeant. 1433 01:37:40,835 --> 01:37:42,841 Lieutenant Fortesque-Brown, proceed. 1434 01:37:43,672 --> 01:37:46,555 Sir, I ask the court 1435 01:37:46,675 --> 01:37:51,896 to hear the testimony of Major Smythe, a psychiatrist. 1436 01:37:52,223 --> 01:37:54,525 I won't have a trick cyclist in my court. 1437 01:37:54,890 --> 01:37:56,749 The minds of soldiers belong to the Army, 1438 01:37:56,774 --> 01:37:59,492 not to some dubious branch of the medical profession. 1439 01:37:59,815 --> 01:38:01,951 He is in attendance, sir. 1440 01:38:02,067 --> 01:38:03,491 Request denied. 1441 01:38:04,111 --> 01:38:08,454 Sir, if I may summarise Major Smythe's opinion. 1442 01:38:08,658 --> 01:38:12,799 He says that Sergeant Hapgood is claustrophobic 1443 01:38:12,913 --> 01:38:14,586 and living in a closed camp 1444 01:38:14,707 --> 01:38:18,385 has exerted unendurable pressure on his mind. 1445 01:38:19,379 --> 01:38:21,218 Smuggling the clock out of the camp 1446 01:38:21,339 --> 01:38:24,934 was his way of relieving that pressure. 1447 01:38:25,344 --> 01:38:27,729 I won't have it, I tell you. 1448 01:38:28,055 --> 01:38:30,322 - Strike it from the record. - Yes, sir. 1449 01:38:30,348 --> 01:38:32,055 Sir, respectfully, I would remind you 1450 01:38:32,176 --> 01:38:34,906 that Sergeant Major Bradley and others 1451 01:38:35,021 --> 01:38:37,425 have recently succumbed to the pressures of this camp. 1452 01:38:37,482 --> 01:38:39,614 There have been two suicides in the last quarter 1453 01:38:39,651 --> 01:38:41,657 and several unsuccessful attempts. 1454 01:38:42,154 --> 01:38:43,661 Are you a conscript, Lieutenant? 1455 01:38:43,781 --> 01:38:45,204 - Yes, sir. - Enough said. 1456 01:38:45,700 --> 01:38:49,497 I have to process 400 conscripts through this camp every six weeks. 1457 01:38:49,704 --> 01:38:52,919 We're all under pressure. Put up with it. Get over it. 1458 01:38:53,792 --> 01:38:55,880 All done? Right. 1459 01:38:56,003 --> 01:38:58,305 - Sir, may I call Sergeant Rohan? - What for? 1460 01:38:58,631 --> 01:39:00,304 Character witness, sir. 1461 01:39:01,426 --> 01:39:03,930 Very well. Have your say and make it quick. 1462 01:39:06,390 --> 01:39:09,273 - A loyal friend, sir and... - And what? 1463 01:39:10,561 --> 01:39:14,570 We did the commando training together and he came out on top of the course. 1464 01:39:14,756 --> 01:39:17,404 - He could kill you with his bare hands if... - If what? 1465 01:39:17,715 --> 01:39:19,058 If necessary. 1466 01:39:20,697 --> 01:39:23,415 Not you, sir. I meant the enemy. 1467 01:39:25,036 --> 01:39:27,171 Well, I don't have to be concerned about that, 1468 01:39:27,747 --> 01:39:29,799 because Hapgood will be in Shepton Mallet 1469 01:39:29,916 --> 01:39:32,467 serving three months for stealing the clock, 1470 01:39:32,586 --> 01:39:34,556 two weeks for impugning the RSM 1471 01:39:34,838 --> 01:39:38,018 and a further month for showing no contrition. 1472 01:39:38,759 --> 01:39:40,011 Sir. 1473 01:39:42,222 --> 01:39:43,990 Yes, of course. It goes without saying. 1474 01:39:44,015 --> 01:39:46,815 Sergeant Hapgood reduced to the tanks. 1475 01:39:47,019 --> 01:39:49,439 Very well. This court is no longer in session. 1476 01:39:49,647 --> 01:39:51,486 God bless Her Majesty. 1477 01:39:52,024 --> 01:39:54,160 Prisoner and escort salute. 1478 01:39:55,320 --> 01:39:56,571 About turn. 1479 01:39:57,781 --> 01:40:02,088 Quick march. Left, right. Left, right. Left, right. Left, right. 1480 01:40:02,202 --> 01:40:04,042 Left, right. Left, right... 1481 01:40:16,844 --> 01:40:18,564 Cheers! 1482 01:40:24,728 --> 01:40:27,658 - Sorry about your chum. - Thank you, sir. 1483 01:40:42,873 --> 01:40:46,836 Your mate Hapgood brought great shame on this regiment today. 1484 01:40:47,336 --> 01:40:51,299 Men like me, Sergeant Rohan, we fought for king and country, 1485 01:40:51,424 --> 01:40:52,931 we fought for what was right. 1486 01:40:53,051 --> 01:40:55,851 But you perks, you're weak, 1487 01:40:55,971 --> 01:40:58,819 'cause you've got no belief, no faith in the flag, 1488 01:40:58,933 --> 01:41:02,445 no grit, no guts, no god, no self-respect. 1489 01:41:02,812 --> 01:41:05,577 Our country is fucked. Fucked. 1490 01:41:05,690 --> 01:41:08,075 Your country, sir, but our country is not. 1491 01:41:09,403 --> 01:41:12,396 I said, "I'm the Skiver. You're the one with the donkey." 1492 01:41:13,908 --> 01:41:15,830 You should be in fucking Korea. 1493 01:41:15,952 --> 01:41:18,538 - Skived out of it, didn't I? - Yeah, by fingering Percy. 1494 01:41:19,039 --> 01:41:20,510 Well, he dropped me in the shit 1495 01:41:20,624 --> 01:41:22,664 and he'd fuck you over, too, if it suited him. 1496 01:41:26,547 --> 01:41:27,798 Was he coming on to you? 1497 01:41:27,882 --> 01:41:29,878 A uniform like that could turn a girl's head. 1498 01:41:33,388 --> 01:41:35,310 He's a posh prick. 1499 01:41:35,432 --> 01:41:39,145 You're jealous, Bill. I'm so pleased. 1500 01:41:39,520 --> 01:41:41,784 Percy wanted me to let you know why he couldn't come tonight. 1501 01:41:41,810 --> 01:41:43,613 Oh, the major told me all about it. 1502 01:41:43,691 --> 01:41:45,779 "Clever young chap but foolhardy. 1503 01:41:45,902 --> 01:41:47,907 "Not worthy of you, my dear." 1504 01:41:48,029 --> 01:41:51,494 Going to a military prison for four months is not funny. 1505 01:41:51,784 --> 01:41:55,497 It's terrible. But it does make him a bit of a hero. 1506 01:41:55,621 --> 01:41:57,792 He'll like that. 1507 01:41:58,416 --> 01:42:00,386 Oh, don't be so pompous. 1508 01:42:01,628 --> 01:42:03,716 Might as well dance, since you're here. 1509 01:42:11,306 --> 01:42:15,731 About what happened, what we did at the hospital. 1510 01:42:16,186 --> 01:42:18,737 - What was that? - You know what. 1511 01:42:19,732 --> 01:42:21,951 Oh, that. 1512 01:42:22,276 --> 01:42:24,198 What about it? 1513 01:42:25,029 --> 01:42:27,913 I'm very sorry. It won't happen again. 1514 01:42:28,658 --> 01:42:30,960 Oh! How disappointing. 1515 01:42:55,564 --> 01:42:57,070 Unlock me for a minute, will you? 1516 01:42:57,190 --> 01:43:00,662 - I've got to get something out of my kit bag. - Not a chance. 1517 01:43:00,903 --> 01:43:03,751 I'm hurt that you think I'd run off on you, Bill. 1518 01:43:03,948 --> 01:43:05,870 You can get it now. 1519 01:43:07,535 --> 01:43:10,964 The Army allows you to write one letter a week, 1520 01:43:11,081 --> 01:43:13,003 but you have to write it on an Army form 1521 01:43:13,125 --> 01:43:17,005 which has Shepton Mallet Military Prison printed at the top. 1522 01:43:17,713 --> 01:43:21,526 I don't want my mum to know I'm in prison, so I'll send the letters to you, Bill. 1523 01:43:21,772 --> 01:43:23,721 I want you to cut off the tops 1524 01:43:23,845 --> 01:43:26,432 and post them on in these stamped envelopes 1525 01:43:27,891 --> 01:43:29,315 to my mum 1526 01:43:29,643 --> 01:43:30,937 and she'll never know. 1527 01:43:31,062 --> 01:43:33,696 18 weeks' worth. Why don't you just tell her? 1528 01:43:34,774 --> 01:43:37,705 'Cause it'd break her heart, Dad being a war hero and all. 1529 01:43:42,741 --> 01:43:44,663 We've arrived at the station. 1530 01:43:45,912 --> 01:43:47,499 Someone we know is meeting us here. 1531 01:43:47,580 --> 01:43:48,832 Who? 1532 01:43:54,672 --> 01:43:57,851 - Hey! Come on. - Hey! 1533 01:43:57,967 --> 01:44:02,101 - Look, there's your Uncle Billy. - Robert. Linda. Look at you guys. 1534 01:44:02,138 --> 01:44:03,197 Hi. 1535 01:44:03,223 --> 01:44:04,519 - I'm your Uncle Bill. - Hey. 1536 01:44:04,545 --> 01:44:08,111 Wow. Handcuffs. Did they bust you, Uncle Bill? 1537 01:44:08,687 --> 01:44:10,709 They got you in the end, hey, Perce? 1538 01:44:10,824 --> 01:44:13,700 Well, Bradley, Redmond, me. Bill's the last man standing. 1539 01:44:13,818 --> 01:44:16,998 - Still on the fence, Billy. - Hmm. 1540 01:44:17,113 --> 01:44:20,376 Bill came through for me. He's a better friend than I deserve. 1541 01:44:20,951 --> 01:44:24,748 - And he has a sexy sister. - Yeah, 27, two kids. 1542 01:44:25,206 --> 01:44:26,927 Two beautiful kids. 1543 01:44:28,501 --> 01:44:31,005 I'm not going back to Canada. 1544 01:44:31,129 --> 01:44:33,384 May I come and see you after? 1545 01:44:34,133 --> 01:44:36,102 Please do. 1546 01:44:38,487 --> 01:44:39,739 All aboard! - Oh! 1547 01:44:39,764 --> 01:44:42,065 Okay, we've got to go. Come on, kids. Come on. 1548 01:44:43,101 --> 01:44:45,244 - Bye, Bill. - Bye. We'll see you at Christmas. 1549 01:44:45,270 --> 01:44:48,367 Bye. See you soon! 1550 01:44:49,400 --> 01:44:50,741 Bye, boys! 1551 01:44:50,860 --> 01:44:53,577 - Bye, Uncle Bill! - Bye, Percy! 1552 01:44:54,447 --> 01:44:55,918 Whoo! 1553 01:44:56,992 --> 01:45:00,835 - So, Dawn really got to you? - Yeah. I'm a goner. 1554 01:45:11,508 --> 01:45:13,762 Sergeant Rohan delivering Private Hapgood. 1555 01:45:13,885 --> 01:45:15,211 Open the gates! 1556 01:45:15,237 --> 01:45:17,480 Well, Percy, see you in four months. 1557 01:45:19,517 --> 01:45:21,237 Long before that. 1558 01:45:21,769 --> 01:45:24,487 There must be some way of breaking out of this place. 1559 01:45:31,322 --> 01:45:32,994 Come on! Come on! 1560 01:45:41,500 --> 01:45:45,131 And don't let Sophie slip through your fingers. 1561 01:45:45,254 --> 01:45:48,774 Where are you gonna find tits like that and a sense of humour all in one girl? 1562 01:45:48,800 --> 01:45:50,051 Thanks, Percy. 1563 01:45:50,385 --> 01:45:52,390 Come on, move it, you. Keep moving. 1564 01:46:15,621 --> 01:46:17,591 Sergeant Major Bradley? 1565 01:46:20,418 --> 01:46:23,183 - Wingate Ward, second floor. - Thank you. 1566 01:46:40,399 --> 01:46:43,413 Hello, Sarge. It's me, Henderson. 1567 01:46:43,528 --> 01:46:46,245 - What are you in for? - Frostbite. 1568 01:46:46,573 --> 01:46:48,543 You were right about the Korean weather. 1569 01:46:48,659 --> 01:46:50,960 Well, frostbite's not too bad. 1570 01:46:51,078 --> 01:46:55,670 Yeah, but then I stepped on a mine, came back without my foot. 1571 01:46:56,292 --> 01:46:58,244 You were always larking about, Henderson. 1572 01:46:58,270 --> 01:47:01,430 Yeah, well, training was a bit of a lark. 1573 01:47:01,631 --> 01:47:03,518 But when they start shooting at you, 1574 01:47:03,634 --> 01:47:06,731 well, it wipes the smile off your face. 1575 01:47:07,972 --> 01:47:10,108 Yes. 1576 01:47:11,017 --> 01:47:13,900 We will continue with the therapy every day 1577 01:47:14,020 --> 01:47:16,026 and we'll see how you get on. 1578 01:47:17,191 --> 01:47:20,121 Sir. Sergeant Major Bradley? 1579 01:47:20,236 --> 01:47:22,206 He's in the end. 1580 01:47:31,165 --> 01:47:33,502 Bill Rohan, Sergeant Major. 1581 01:47:36,212 --> 01:47:39,226 I brought you The Telegraph. 1582 01:47:40,383 --> 01:47:42,139 For the crossword. 1583 01:47:54,190 --> 01:47:55,614 I just wanted to say... 1584 01:47:55,734 --> 01:48:01,044 There is nothing you can say 1585 01:48:01,949 --> 01:48:06,291 that is of any interest to me. 1586 01:48:08,039 --> 01:48:11,801 Your demeanour is slovenly. 1587 01:48:13,545 --> 01:48:16,809 Most slovenly. 1588 01:48:19,761 --> 01:48:21,433 Dismiss. 1589 01:48:24,308 --> 01:48:26,277 Dismiss, I say. 1590 01:48:33,443 --> 01:48:36,124 Post-traumatic stress syndrome. 1591 01:48:36,238 --> 01:48:38,539 They called it shell shock in the First World War. 1592 01:48:38,949 --> 01:48:41,168 Half these lads suffer from it. 1593 01:48:41,452 --> 01:48:43,789 Bradley got a bad dose in the Normandy invasions. 1594 01:48:43,996 --> 01:48:46,215 So living by the letter of the Army law was... 1595 01:48:46,332 --> 01:48:48,717 Was his way of holding himself together. 1596 01:48:51,713 --> 01:48:54,217 - Thanks, Sarge. - Take care of yourself, Henderson. 1597 01:48:54,550 --> 01:48:57,433 You know me, Sarge. Always putting my foot in it. 1598 01:49:11,736 --> 01:49:15,284 I served up my time and went home to the river, 1599 01:49:15,615 --> 01:49:20,257 the river my mother had left to after our house was destroyed during the London Blitz. 1600 01:49:24,834 --> 01:49:26,804 Everything was different now. 1601 01:49:30,507 --> 01:49:32,144 Help! I'm drowning! 1602 01:49:35,638 --> 01:49:37,857 - Keep going, Sophie. - Bill! 1603 01:49:37,974 --> 01:49:39,535 - Bill, help! - It's really good. 1604 01:49:39,561 --> 01:49:41,777 Bill, help! I'm not acting! 1605 01:49:41,936 --> 01:49:43,324 Keep going. 1606 01:49:44,439 --> 01:49:45,863 Help me, please! 1607 01:49:46,400 --> 01:49:48,571 - Bill, I'm cramping! - What? 1608 01:49:58,997 --> 01:50:00,967 Only kidding. 1609 01:50:01,083 --> 01:50:03,847 - Do you think that's funny? - Yeah. 1610 01:50:19,918 --> 01:50:22,815 .srt Dan4Jem IX.AD.MMXV 1610 01:50:23,305 --> 01:50:29,363 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from OpenSubtitles.org