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We are gathered here today
to immortalise in song
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the life and untimely death
of a great legend.
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-Rango.
-So sit back, relax,
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and enjoy your low-calorie popcorn
and assorted confections
5
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while we tell you the strange
and bewildering tale of a hero
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who has yet to enter his own story.
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Crunchy, creamy, cookie,
candy, cupcake.
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Okay, everybody,
let's take it from the top.
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The stage is set,
the night moist with apprehension.
10
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Alone in her chamber, the princess
prepares to take her own life.
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"It is far better to nourish worms
than to live without love."
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She reaches for the poisoned chalice.
13
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Meanwhile, the wicked Malvolio
plots his ascension to the throne
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while her ageing father lies gravely ill.
15
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"Yes, I am gravely ill."
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"Hark, who goes there?"
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'Tis l, the much-anticipated hero,
18
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returning to rescue
his emotionally unstable maiden!
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Unhand her, you jailers of virtue,
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or taste the bitter sting
of my vengeance!
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The sting of my...
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Dr Marx?
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Dr Marx,
I'm not getting anything from you.
24
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People, we've talked about this.
Acting is reacting.
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Victor, you were wooden!
There, I said it.
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Mr Timms? You were good.
27
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Perhaps a little too good.
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What's that, Victor? My character's
undefined? That's absurd.
29
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I know who I am.
I'm the guy, the protagonist, the hero.
30
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Every story needs a hero.
I mean, who else is better qualified
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to bask in the adulation
of his numerous companions?
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The stage is waiting.
33
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The audience thirsts for adventure.
34
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Who am I?
35
00:03:44,850 --> 00:03:46,434
I could be anyone.
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I could be the sea cap'n
returning from a mighty voyage
37
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to reclaim his mechanical arm!
38
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Or I could be the rogue anthropologist,
battling pythons down in the Congo!
39
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Down, Chongo, down!
40
00:04:01,867 --> 00:04:04,118
And if you desire romance,
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I will become the greatest lover
the world has ever known!
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I couldn't help but notice you
noticing me noticing you.
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You know, the womens find me
uncomfortably good looking.
44
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But you seem remarkably at ease.
45
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Stop it. No, really.
46
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Well, if you must. What are you doing?
47
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That tickles. Are those real?
48
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That's it! Conflict.
49
00:04:36,401 --> 00:04:38,986
Victor, you were right.
I have been undefined.
50
00:04:39,821 --> 00:04:44,200
People, I've had an epiphany.
The hero cannot exist in a vacuum!
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What our story needs is an ironic,
unexpected event
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that will propel the hero into conflict!
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Mr Timms?
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That's right! You!
55
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Don't be shy. Come on.
56
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It's okay.
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That's it, a little closer.
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Good.
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I won't bite you.
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I need a little help here.
61
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Are you okay?
62
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I must get to the other side.
63
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The other side? You mean, just now,
that was you crossing the road?
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That's why the...
65
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Why'd you do that?
66
00:07:00,629 --> 00:07:03,756
This is my quest. He waits for me.
67
00:07:03,840 --> 00:07:05,216
What? Who?
68
00:07:05,300 --> 00:07:08,886
The Spirit of the West, amigo. The one.
69
00:07:08,970 --> 00:07:13,349
They say he rides an alabaster carriage
with golden guardians to protect him.
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What are you talking about?
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Enlightenment.
We are nothing without it.
72
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Nothing? Your delusional quest
just ruined my life!
73
00:07:22,484 --> 00:07:24,944
I had an incredibly complex
social network going!
74
00:07:25,028 --> 00:07:27,905
Highly sophisticated friends!
I was very popular!
75
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Friends? I don't see no friends.
76
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You are a very lonely lizard.
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Look, I need water, hydration.
My teeth are chapped.
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I need lotion.
I'm down to one layer of skin already.
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Pretty soon,
I'm going to start seeing my insides.
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00:07:43,088 --> 00:07:45,714
Not unlike what you've got going there.
81
00:07:45,841 --> 00:07:47,633
Listen, I can't survive
in the desert, okay?
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I... I don't belong here.
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That may be true, but here you are.
84
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Now help me up
and I will help you find what you seek.
85
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-You will?
-And perhaps more.
86
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Quickly. I must get back to my quest.
87
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-You mean you've done this before?
-Yes. Many times.
88
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Come, come. That's it, pull my finger.
89
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The Spirit is waiting for me.
90
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Okay, okay.
91
00:08:19,958 --> 00:08:22,251
Okay. That's not going to work.
92
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I must get to the other side.
93
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Why don't you just wait
until there are no cars coming?
94
00:08:27,966 --> 00:08:29,633
It's not so easy as it looks.
95
00:08:29,718 --> 00:08:30,759
What?
96
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ls a metaphor.
97
00:09:02,834 --> 00:09:04,001
There's another one!
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00:09:05,837 --> 00:09:06,920
I knew it.
99
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You need a little help, amigo?
100
00:09:20,352 --> 00:09:23,437
I think the metaphor broke my spleen.
101
00:09:23,521 --> 00:09:26,106
The path to knowledge
is fraught with consequence.
102
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I'm just looking for the path to water.
103
00:09:29,110 --> 00:09:33,822
If you want to find water,
you must first find Dirt.
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Dirt.
105
00:09:37,118 --> 00:09:39,536
Destiny, she is kind to you.
106
00:09:39,663 --> 00:09:42,539
Tomorrow is Wednesday.
The water comes.
107
00:09:43,541 --> 00:09:47,169
At noon, the townspeople gather
for a mysterious ritual.
108
00:09:48,380 --> 00:09:52,132
A town? You mean, with real people
and everything? Where?
109
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A day's journey. Follow your shadow.
110
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You want me to just walk out
into the desert?
111
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That's the way.
112
00:10:01,559 --> 00:10:03,977
Okay. So you're saying
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there's a town, a real town,
not a metaphor town.
114
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Go on. It's okay.
115
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Okay.
116
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Well, then, I'm going.
117
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I am leaving the road now!
118
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I'm walking into the desert!
119
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Alone!
120
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We all have ourjourneys to make!
121
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I will see you on the other side.
122
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Welcome, amigo
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To the land without end
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The desert and death
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Are the closest of friends
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We sing of his courage
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In magnificent song
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But pay close attention
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He won't be here long
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As the birds pluck his eyes
The sun bleaches his bones
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see his entrails get scattered
Watch him lose his cojones
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Here in the Mojave Desert,
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00:11:29,147 --> 00:11:34,401
animals have had millions of years
to adapt to the harsh environment.
134
00:11:34,486 --> 00:11:37,738
But the lizard? He is going to die.
135
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"Four score and seven years ago,
our fathers..."
136
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-Don't move.
-What?
137
00:11:49,667 --> 00:11:51,585
-Don't move!
-Not moving.
138
00:11:51,669 --> 00:11:52,753
Not moving.
139
00:11:52,837 --> 00:11:55,005
Try to blend in.
140
00:11:55,131 --> 00:11:56,673
Blend in? What do you mean?
141
00:12:00,470 --> 00:12:01,678
Blend in.
142
00:12:01,805 --> 00:12:03,514
What are you saying?
143
00:12:05,350 --> 00:12:06,934
-Too late.
-No, no. It's not too late!
144
00:12:07,018 --> 00:12:09,269
I'm blending! I'm a blender!
145
00:12:09,521 --> 00:12:11,480
Hey, calm down! What are you doing?
146
00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:15,901
Stop moving!
147
00:12:16,528 --> 00:12:18,237
Try not to look conspicuous.
148
00:12:27,914 --> 00:12:29,289
-What are you doing?
-I'm blending.
149
00:12:29,374 --> 00:12:31,208
-Go blend somewhere else.
-Don't distract me.
150
00:12:31,292 --> 00:12:33,126
-No room at the inn.
-It's an art, not a science.
151
00:12:33,211 --> 00:12:35,170
-Find your own hiding place.
-No, this is good.
152
00:12:35,755 --> 00:12:37,965
Here she comes! You better run, Mojito!
153
00:12:38,049 --> 00:12:41,844
-What? I thought you said, "Don't move."
-That was before. Now, you run.
154
00:13:29,225 --> 00:13:31,226
Oh, hey. Proboscis.
155
00:13:31,895 --> 00:13:32,936
Testy.
156
00:13:45,909 --> 00:13:49,786
Please, no, please. I have vertigo!
My glands are swelling!
157
00:13:51,289 --> 00:13:52,456
Please, no.
158
00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:04,426
You! I'll kill you! You stupid lizard!
159
00:14:04,510 --> 00:14:06,428
Get out of there.
I'm going to strangle your huevos!
160
00:14:06,512 --> 00:14:08,305
Big bird! Big bird!
161
00:14:09,182 --> 00:14:11,892
No, wait! Come back! I was just kidding!
162
00:14:11,976 --> 00:14:13,894
-Come on, we're friends, right?
-I don't know you!
163
00:14:13,978 --> 00:14:15,771
-Lizards, frogs...
-Find your own hiding place!
164
00:14:15,855 --> 00:14:17,522
-We're practically related!
-No room at the inn!
165
00:14:17,607 --> 00:14:19,024
-Come on, move over!
-You're not my friend!
166
00:14:19,108 --> 00:14:21,234
I'll let you kiss my sister!
167
00:14:30,203 --> 00:14:31,870
You son of a...
168
00:15:26,759 --> 00:15:29,845
Where are your friends now, amigo?
169
00:15:58,374 --> 00:16:01,168
Get your slimy-webbed phalanges
off my boots!
170
00:16:02,253 --> 00:16:03,295
Sorry.
171
00:16:03,379 --> 00:16:06,631
I got a bead on you, stranger.
So you get up real slow
172
00:16:06,716 --> 00:16:08,175
lessen you want to spend the better part
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00:16:08,259 --> 00:16:10,135
of the afternoon
putting your face back together!
174
00:16:10,219 --> 00:16:12,929
-No, ma'am, I don't.
-Who are you?
175
00:16:13,014 --> 00:16:15,348
-Who am I?
-I'm asking the questions here!
176
00:16:15,433 --> 00:16:17,893
Our town is drying up.
We're in the middle of a drought.
177
00:16:17,977 --> 00:16:19,728
Now someone's dumping water
in the desert!
178
00:16:19,812 --> 00:16:21,938
It's a puzzle of undeterminable size
and dimension,
179
00:16:22,023 --> 00:16:24,858
but I intend to find out
what role you playing in all this.
180
00:16:24,942 --> 00:16:27,569
-Role?
-What are you involved in?
181
00:16:27,904 --> 00:16:30,197
Well, I'm glad you asked.
182
00:16:30,281 --> 00:16:33,408
I've got two one-acts, a mystery
and a musical I've been gestating.
183
00:16:33,493 --> 00:16:36,620
I got the words, I'm just working on
the melody right now. It's like a...
184
00:16:38,790 --> 00:16:40,040
I think it's gonna be a western.
185
00:16:40,124 --> 00:16:42,751
A monkey got a cracker
His mother was a slapper
186
00:16:42,835 --> 00:16:46,463
She'll be coming 'round the mountain
in the rain
187
00:16:47,715 --> 00:16:50,634
You ain't from around here, are you?
188
00:16:51,803 --> 00:16:53,970
I'm still working on it.
189
00:16:55,556 --> 00:16:56,890
So, what's your name?
190
00:16:57,600 --> 00:16:59,518
-Beans.
-That's a funny kind of name.
191
00:16:59,602 --> 00:17:02,562
What can I say?
My daddy plumb loved baked beans.
192
00:17:02,647 --> 00:17:04,397
Well, you're lucky
he didn't plumb love asparagus.
193
00:17:04,482 --> 00:17:05,690
What are you saying?
194
00:17:05,775 --> 00:17:07,859
I mean,
I enjoy a hearty puttanesca myself,
195
00:17:07,944 --> 00:17:10,237
but I'm not sure that a child
would appreciate the moniker.
196
00:17:10,321 --> 00:17:14,950
My daddy was a great man, even if
he did exhibit a proclivity for legumes.
197
00:17:15,034 --> 00:17:17,577
-Spicy.
-You're eating his ashes!
198
00:17:18,955 --> 00:17:20,122
You carry his remains?
199
00:17:20,206 --> 00:17:23,500
No, his ashes. He loved to smoke.
They never found the body.
200
00:17:23,584 --> 00:17:25,585
Well, I'm sure he had his reasons.
201
00:17:25,670 --> 00:17:27,671
-What are you implying?
-Nothing.
202
00:17:27,755 --> 00:17:29,756
My daddy was never near
that mine shaft.
203
00:17:29,841 --> 00:17:31,424
He'd been sober for over a month!
204
00:17:31,509 --> 00:17:34,469
And for you to insinuate that he would
abandon his parental responsibilities
205
00:17:34,554 --> 00:17:38,515
at a delicate time in my personal
development is an affront to my sense...
206
00:17:42,186 --> 00:17:43,562
Miss Beans?
207
00:17:44,355 --> 00:17:46,815
Miss Beans? Hello?
208
00:17:48,776 --> 00:17:49,860
Hello?
209
00:18:06,127 --> 00:18:08,003
And until the people ofAndromeda Five
210
00:18:08,087 --> 00:18:11,256
return him safe and sound,
I will not sell my ranch!
211
00:18:12,633 --> 00:18:14,968
-What... What are you doing?
-What are you doing?
212
00:18:15,052 --> 00:18:16,928
-What am I doing?
-You're cuddling me.
213
00:18:17,013 --> 00:18:18,430
-You were frozen.
-I was not.
214
00:18:18,514 --> 00:18:20,432
Yes, you were. You stopped talking.
215
00:18:20,516 --> 00:18:23,810
It's a defence mechanism.
Actually, lots of lizards have it.
216
00:18:23,895 --> 00:18:25,103
You're making that up.
217
00:18:25,897 --> 00:18:28,148
So, you gonna die out here,
or you want a ride into town?
218
00:18:28,232 --> 00:18:32,194
No, no, no. Yeah. No. Yes, please.
Thank you. Sorry.
219
00:18:32,278 --> 00:18:36,031
Today's Wednesday.
Wednesday's when we all get to it.
220
00:18:36,782 --> 00:18:38,241
So who are you, really?
221
00:18:38,326 --> 00:18:40,076
Well, I'm a man of many epithets.
222
00:18:40,161 --> 00:18:42,537
There's my stage name, my pen name,
my avatar.
223
00:18:42,622 --> 00:18:45,165
I had a pseudonym once,
but I had it legally changed.
224
00:18:45,249 --> 00:18:49,252
And so the stranger,
seeking companionship,
225
00:18:49,337 --> 00:18:53,673
finds the woman,
much like the sirens of ancient times
226
00:18:53,758 --> 00:18:58,053
luring him to his certain demise.
227
00:18:58,638 --> 00:19:00,430
...nom de plume, I have a CB handle.
228
00:19:00,514 --> 00:19:02,224
I'm actually one of the few men
with a maiden name.
229
00:19:02,308 --> 00:19:04,976
Whoa! Well, here we are.
230
00:19:12,360 --> 00:19:13,485
Right.
231
00:19:13,569 --> 00:19:16,154
Well, I sure do appreciate this,
Miss Beans,
232
00:19:16,239 --> 00:19:18,990
-and if there's ever anything that l...
-Get on up!
233
00:19:19,617 --> 00:19:21,117
Okay, then!
234
00:19:21,619 --> 00:19:23,620
See you, Beans.
235
00:19:40,263 --> 00:19:41,429
You heading out, Jim?
236
00:19:41,514 --> 00:19:44,641
Well, we gave it our best shot.
We had to sell out.
237
00:19:44,725 --> 00:19:47,602
Can't grow no crops without no water.
238
00:19:48,938 --> 00:19:50,689
Bye, now!
239
00:19:55,528 --> 00:19:56,945
What is it?
240
00:20:00,199 --> 00:20:01,283
What was that for?
241
00:20:01,742 --> 00:20:03,076
You're funny looking.
242
00:20:03,494 --> 00:20:05,829
Oh, yeah?
Well, you're funny looking, too.
243
00:20:05,913 --> 00:20:08,290
-That's a funny-looking shirt.
-That's a funny-looking dress.
244
00:20:08,374 --> 00:20:10,792
-You got funny-looking eyes!
-You got a funny-looking face!
245
00:20:11,836 --> 00:20:15,839
You're a stranger.
Strangers don't last long here.
246
00:20:16,215 --> 00:20:18,341
Here's your beans, Beans.
247
00:20:18,426 --> 00:20:20,468
I'm gonna need some more feed, too,
Willie.
248
00:20:20,553 --> 00:20:24,597
Now, Beans, you owe me three quarts
already. I can't give you more credit.
249
00:20:24,682 --> 00:20:26,975
But I'll have what I owe you at noon.
250
00:20:27,059 --> 00:20:32,314
You don't understand. It's Mr Merrimack
down at the bank. He cut off all credit.
251
00:20:32,398 --> 00:20:34,607
Hey, Beans! Beans!
252
00:20:34,775 --> 00:20:36,818
You know that there fella?
253
00:20:36,902 --> 00:20:38,445
Hey, Beans! Miss Beans!
254
00:20:38,904 --> 00:20:40,488
Nope.
255
00:20:40,573 --> 00:20:41,781
Hey, Beans!
256
00:20:41,991 --> 00:20:43,033
Hey.
257
00:20:44,785 --> 00:20:47,787
Right. Blend in. Yeah, blend in.
258
00:22:18,963 --> 00:22:20,797
I'd like a glass of water.
259
00:22:23,551 --> 00:22:25,218
He wants a glass of water!
260
00:22:25,636 --> 00:22:27,595
Make it a double!
261
00:22:27,680 --> 00:22:29,055
Give him the spittoon!
262
00:22:33,978 --> 00:22:37,689
Cactus juice. That's what we got.
263
00:23:01,505 --> 00:23:03,256
Hey, there, fruit cup.
264
00:23:03,340 --> 00:23:07,385
You're a long ways from home, ain't ya?
265
00:23:07,511 --> 00:23:10,013
Who exactly are you?
266
00:23:14,351 --> 00:23:15,685
Who am I?
267
00:23:17,438 --> 00:23:18,521
I could be anyone.
268
00:23:22,359 --> 00:23:26,571
What's the matter?
You missing your mommy's mangos?
269
00:23:27,698 --> 00:23:29,866
As a matter of fact, I am.
270
00:23:30,743 --> 00:23:32,869
But not as much as
your daddy's cooking!
271
00:23:35,122 --> 00:23:38,291
Exactly where did you say
you were from?
272
00:23:38,375 --> 00:23:41,711
Me? I'm from the West.
273
00:23:41,795 --> 00:23:45,048
Out there, beyond the horizon.
Past the sunset.
274
00:23:46,050 --> 00:23:47,717
The Far West.
275
00:23:49,720 --> 00:23:51,387
Yeah, that's right, hombres.
276
00:23:51,472 --> 00:23:54,224
The place I come from,
we kill a man before breakfast
277
00:23:54,308 --> 00:23:56,476
just to work up an appetite.
278
00:23:57,144 --> 00:23:59,270
Then we salt him, and we pepper him.
279
00:23:59,396 --> 00:24:03,525
Then we braise him in clarified butter.
And then we eat him.
280
00:24:03,609 --> 00:24:05,652
-You eat him?
-That's what I said!
281
00:24:05,736 --> 00:24:09,864
Hell, I seen things make a grown man
lose control of his glandular functions!
282
00:24:09,949 --> 00:24:13,159
You spend three days in a horse
carcass, living off your own juices.
283
00:24:13,244 --> 00:24:16,120
lt'll change a man. Oh, yeah.
284
00:24:18,499 --> 00:24:23,086
Had a few extra aces in this deck,
gents. Just the way I like it.
285
00:24:23,420 --> 00:24:28,091
So, no, my hirsute little rodent friend,
I am not from around these parts.
286
00:24:28,175 --> 00:24:30,510
You might say I'm from everywhere
there's trouble brewing
287
00:24:30,594 --> 00:24:32,887
and hell waiting to be raised.
288
00:24:32,972 --> 00:24:36,432
You might say
I'm what hell's already raised up.
289
00:24:37,643 --> 00:24:39,269
Name's
290
00:24:39,979 --> 00:24:41,604
Rango.
291
00:24:43,023 --> 00:24:44,274
Rango.
292
00:24:45,985 --> 00:24:48,111
Are you the fella
that killed them Jenkins brothers?
293
00:24:49,280 --> 00:24:51,573
Killed them with one bullet.
294
00:24:51,657 --> 00:24:53,449
Don't get no deader.
295
00:24:53,534 --> 00:24:55,618
All seven of them?
296
00:24:56,662 --> 00:24:58,121
That's right.
297
00:24:58,664 --> 00:25:00,456
All seven of them.
298
00:25:01,333 --> 00:25:04,669
Exactly how you do that, Mr Rango?
299
00:25:07,214 --> 00:25:09,048
You know, I'm glad you asked me that.
300
00:25:09,133 --> 00:25:13,136
And I will be happy to tell you how.
But you're all gonna have to listen up!
301
00:25:14,346 --> 00:25:16,639
Because this is where it gets
302
00:25:17,349 --> 00:25:19,017
complicated.
303
00:25:21,145 --> 00:25:24,022
That'll close out your account,
Mrs Oats, two gulps and a swig.
304
00:25:24,148 --> 00:25:27,400
Hands off, Mordecai! That's what's left
of your college education!
305
00:25:29,820 --> 00:25:32,071
I don't rightly have
no other choice, Beans.
306
00:25:32,156 --> 00:25:36,326
Times being so hard,
we just can't give no more credit.
307
00:25:36,910 --> 00:25:39,662
But this here is a bank.
This is where you keep the water.
308
00:25:42,833 --> 00:25:47,170
Beans, you've been like a niece to me
ever since your daddy
309
00:25:48,672 --> 00:25:52,216
did not fall drunk down a mine shaft.
310
00:25:52,343 --> 00:25:56,846
I've tried to protect you and others
from certain realities.
311
00:25:56,930 --> 00:25:58,931
But that... Well...
312
00:25:59,516 --> 00:26:01,225
-Mr Merrimack?
-Realities are bearing down.
313
00:26:01,352 --> 00:26:02,852
Mr Merrimack!
314
00:26:03,687 --> 00:26:04,896
Are you all right?
315
00:26:05,522 --> 00:26:09,025
Beans, I need to show you something.
316
00:26:16,742 --> 00:26:20,203
-That's all that's left?
-And this here is the reserve!
317
00:26:20,287 --> 00:26:21,954
I don't know if you've noticed,
318
00:26:22,039 --> 00:26:25,541
but folks just ain't making deposits
on a Wednesday no more!
319
00:26:25,626 --> 00:26:29,087
Mr Merrimack, if I don't get some water,
I'm gonna lose my ranch
320
00:26:29,213 --> 00:26:31,547
and you're telling me
that's all that's left in the whole town?
321
00:26:31,632 --> 00:26:34,801
Now that just don't make no sense.
Now, listen.
322
00:26:34,885 --> 00:26:38,888
Someone is dumping water
in the desert.
323
00:26:39,556 --> 00:26:42,308
I seen it with my own eyes.
324
00:26:44,103 --> 00:26:46,020
Water in the desert?
325
00:26:46,105 --> 00:26:49,148
Was this during
one of your special times?
326
00:26:49,441 --> 00:26:50,483
No.
327
00:26:50,567 --> 00:26:54,654
Well, we can all dream,
but this is the reality.
328
00:26:54,738 --> 00:26:58,366
Why do you think so many people
are selling out? They just can't make it.
329
00:26:58,450 --> 00:27:00,910
Well, what am I supposed to do?
330
00:27:01,328 --> 00:27:04,038
Well, I suppose
we could talk to the Mayor.
331
00:27:04,123 --> 00:27:07,291
I hear he's been helping people out
in this time of crisis.
332
00:27:07,418 --> 00:27:08,501
The Mayor?
333
00:27:08,585 --> 00:27:11,295
He may be our only hope.
334
00:27:11,422 --> 00:27:14,340
Bullet hits a shovel, ricochets back
towards number three,
335
00:27:14,425 --> 00:27:15,800
and that's when the roof caved in,
336
00:27:15,926 --> 00:27:18,010
igniting the thermos
of pure grain alcohol
337
00:27:18,095 --> 00:27:21,931
instantly vapourising his bodily form,
leaving nothing but a charcoal statue
338
00:27:22,015 --> 00:27:24,142
and a high-pitched squeal.
339
00:27:29,940 --> 00:27:33,860
Hold on, there. That's only six.
What happened to number seven?
340
00:27:35,112 --> 00:27:36,446
Number seven?
341
00:27:36,530 --> 00:27:38,865
Hell, he died of infection.
342
00:27:42,119 --> 00:27:44,162
-Seven men!
-One bullet!
343
00:27:44,288 --> 00:27:46,289
Drinks all around!
344
00:27:49,126 --> 00:27:51,169
Dance for me, Sod Buster!
345
00:27:51,295 --> 00:27:54,005
-Yes, dance like a chicken!
-That's right! Dance!
346
00:27:55,466 --> 00:27:57,633
You got corn in your ears, mate?
347
00:27:57,718 --> 00:28:00,678
You don't pay the mortgage,
you don't own the land!
348
00:28:00,804 --> 00:28:03,848
-That's basic real estate law, my friend.
-Quid pro quo!
349
00:28:03,974 --> 00:28:07,018
If I see your face in this town again,
350
00:28:07,144 --> 00:28:11,522
I'm gonna slice it off and use it
to wipe my unmentionables.
351
00:28:12,191 --> 00:28:13,399
Mind the beak.
352
00:28:14,568 --> 00:28:17,153
And don't come back!
353
00:28:18,989 --> 00:28:21,699
What are you all gawping at?
354
00:28:25,245 --> 00:28:28,831
Hey, Bad Bill,
there's something I got to tell you!
355
00:28:33,420 --> 00:28:34,712
What is this?
356
00:28:34,838 --> 00:28:38,841
You know who that is, Bill?
That there's Rango!
357
00:28:38,926 --> 00:28:42,762
Yeah, he ain't afraid of you!
He ain't afraid of none of you.
358
00:28:42,846 --> 00:28:44,305
Killed them Jenkins brothers.
359
00:28:44,389 --> 00:28:47,350
-Done it with one bullet, Bill.
-All seven of them!
360
00:28:48,018 --> 00:28:49,894
ls that right?
361
00:29:27,599 --> 00:29:29,892
Let me get that before you...
362
00:29:34,314 --> 00:29:36,065
No. Oh, I know. Here.
363
00:29:39,903 --> 00:29:42,446
Just take care of that for you.
364
00:29:43,240 --> 00:29:45,449
There. All better.
365
00:30:09,892 --> 00:30:12,435
T.O. T.O. Just a second.
366
00:30:14,771 --> 00:30:16,147
All right, now listen!
367
00:30:16,273 --> 00:30:19,483
I'm going to give you fellas
one last chance to reconsider!
368
00:30:23,989 --> 00:30:27,241
And if you don't want to reconsider
369
00:30:27,326 --> 00:30:30,453
I might consider reconsidering myself.
370
00:30:41,798 --> 00:30:45,176
Now that's what I'm talking about. Yeah.
371
00:30:45,302 --> 00:30:46,886
All right, now listen up!
372
00:30:46,970 --> 00:30:50,014
Things are going to be different
around here now that Rango's in town.
373
00:30:50,140 --> 00:30:53,184
Got some new rules!
I want my shoes shined every morning,
374
00:30:53,310 --> 00:30:55,186
my coffee hot, Danish on the side.
375
00:30:55,312 --> 00:30:57,521
Whatever you do,
don't look me in the eye.
376
00:30:57,648 --> 00:31:00,107
Stay out of my peripheral vision!
377
00:31:00,359 --> 00:31:02,151
-It's Rango.
-What's he up to?
378
00:31:02,277 --> 00:31:05,404
He ain't afraid of nobody.
He's telling that bird what's for!
379
00:31:05,489 --> 00:31:07,323
And when you see me coming,
stand aside.
380
00:31:07,616 --> 00:31:10,368
I take large steps and I don't want
none of you hayseeds
381
00:31:10,494 --> 00:31:13,162
getting your bodily fluids on my boots!
382
00:31:14,623 --> 00:31:17,833
Of course, there is no need for violence,
383
00:31:17,960 --> 00:31:20,878
as long as we stick together,
work as a team.
384
00:31:21,004 --> 00:31:24,382
So I want you all to come outside now
and line up single file
385
00:31:24,508 --> 00:31:25,967
while I take a brief intermission!
386
00:31:28,845 --> 00:31:30,638
What's he doing now?
387
00:31:30,722 --> 00:31:32,348
I think it's a number two.
388
00:31:53,870 --> 00:31:55,871
Never mind.
389
00:32:16,768 --> 00:32:18,477
Take a look-see over here!
390
00:32:18,562 --> 00:32:19,812
Well, look at him now!
391
00:32:19,896 --> 00:32:21,772
He's chasing after that hawk!
392
00:32:21,898 --> 00:32:52,887
Give him hell, Rango!
393
00:34:17,305 --> 00:34:20,099
-Did you see that?
-He killed that thing!
394
00:34:20,183 --> 00:34:21,851
What do you think, Doc?
395
00:34:22,561 --> 00:34:25,312
This hawk is dead!
396
00:34:25,897 --> 00:34:28,357
Shoot, I say we cook that right up.
397
00:34:28,483 --> 00:34:30,150
He did it with one bullet!
398
00:34:30,235 --> 00:34:31,777
Just like he said!
399
00:34:31,862 --> 00:34:33,612
It's about time
we had a hero around here.
400
00:34:33,697 --> 00:34:35,990
One who ain't in a pine box.
401
00:34:36,658 --> 00:34:39,493
I think it's time he met the Mayor.
402
00:34:39,578 --> 00:34:42,538
You hear that, Rango?
You're going to meet the Mayor!
403
00:34:42,664 --> 00:34:44,999
Let's hear it for Rango!
404
00:34:48,336 --> 00:34:50,754
And so the stranger basks
405
00:34:50,881 --> 00:34:54,216
in the adulation of his new friends,
406
00:34:54,342 --> 00:34:59,513
sinking deeper into the guacamole
of his own deception.
407
00:34:59,598 --> 00:35:01,265
When is he going to die?
408
00:35:01,391 --> 00:35:03,851
Soon, compadre. Soon.
409
00:35:20,410 --> 00:35:22,411
My land is not for sale!
410
00:35:23,580 --> 00:35:26,081
I came here to save my land, not sell it!
411
00:35:26,207 --> 00:35:29,877
I'm sure there's something reasonable
we can work out if you just talk to him!
412
00:35:31,254 --> 00:35:33,047
Beans! Where are you going? Beans?
413
00:35:33,590 --> 00:35:35,424
The Mayor will see you now.
414
00:35:40,889 --> 00:35:44,141
Water, Mr Rango, water.
415
00:35:44,601 --> 00:35:47,937
Without it,
there's nothing but dust and decay.
416
00:35:48,063 --> 00:35:52,566
But with water there's life.
417
00:35:54,444 --> 00:35:59,448
Look at them, so desperate to live,
they'll follow it anywhere.
418
00:36:00,116 --> 00:36:02,201
That's the immutable law of the desert.
419
00:36:04,120 --> 00:36:08,332
Control the water
and you control everything.
420
00:36:08,583 --> 00:36:12,920
But I don't have to tell you that being
a true man of the West, as you are.
421
00:36:13,171 --> 00:36:17,424
Oh, yeah. The West is the best.
422
00:36:17,592 --> 00:36:19,760
This is from my private stock.
423
00:36:19,844 --> 00:36:22,972
Vintage rainwater
from the Great Deluge.
424
00:36:24,099 --> 00:36:27,559
Not Noah's deluge.
Good heavens, I'm not that old.
425
00:36:30,313 --> 00:36:32,690
I guess power has its privileges.
426
00:36:33,274 --> 00:36:34,775
You make a good point, son.
427
00:36:35,944 --> 00:36:38,862
But with privilege comes responsibility.
428
00:36:40,490 --> 00:36:43,450
Hell, I was mayor here
before there was a Dirt!
429
00:36:43,535 --> 00:36:46,870
And I may be
just a sentimental old turtle
430
00:36:46,997 --> 00:36:52,001
but I think there's a future for this town.
And I hope you'll be part of it.
431
00:36:54,129 --> 00:36:56,630
-To Dirt!
-To Dirt.
432
00:36:59,676 --> 00:37:03,178
You see them, Mr Rango?
All my friends and neighbours?
433
00:37:04,180 --> 00:37:07,516
It's a hard life here. Very hard.
434
00:37:08,476 --> 00:37:12,021
Do you know how they make it through
each and every day?
435
00:37:12,147 --> 00:37:13,188
They believe.
436
00:37:13,815 --> 00:37:16,692
They believe it's going to be better.
437
00:37:16,818 --> 00:37:20,154
They believe that the water will come.
438
00:37:20,238 --> 00:37:22,740
They believe against all odds
and all evidence
439
00:37:22,866 --> 00:37:25,034
that tomorrow will be better than today.
440
00:37:27,245 --> 00:37:29,663
People have to believe in something.
441
00:37:30,540 --> 00:37:33,584
Right now, they believe in you.
442
00:37:35,837 --> 00:37:40,049
Pick it up, Mr Rango.
Your destiny awaits.
443
00:37:43,553 --> 00:37:47,014
People have to believe in something.
444
00:37:53,396 --> 00:37:55,647
It's almost noon. ls everything ready?
445
00:37:55,732 --> 00:37:58,567
Yeah. But he might be a problem.
446
00:37:58,651 --> 00:38:02,071
He's not a problem, William.
He's a solution.
447
00:38:05,408 --> 00:38:06,742
It just don't make no sense.
448
00:38:06,993 --> 00:38:08,410
This whole town is drying up,
449
00:38:08,495 --> 00:38:11,079
and the Mayor is the only one
who don't seem to be affected.
450
00:38:11,206 --> 00:38:13,207
Doesn't that make you
just a wee bit suspicious?
451
00:38:13,333 --> 00:38:16,502
And what about that water
I saw out in the desert?
452
00:38:16,586 --> 00:38:20,923
All right! No need to incite anxiety.
I'll inquire about the Mayor.
453
00:38:21,049 --> 00:38:24,760
But if you really feel
there's some conspiracy occurring,
454
00:38:24,844 --> 00:38:27,888
I suggest you take it up
with the new sheriff.
455
00:38:29,182 --> 00:38:32,226
This is going to be good. Hey!
Watch that needle there.
456
00:38:32,310 --> 00:38:34,269
Not too tight.
I want to leave room for some pucker!
457
00:38:34,354 --> 00:38:35,395
That's good.
458
00:38:35,480 --> 00:38:37,022
Oh, easy there, tiger.
459
00:38:37,148 --> 00:38:38,690
-A little up and back?
-I don't think so.
460
00:38:38,775 --> 00:38:39,817
Have you got French cuffs with that?
461
00:38:39,901 --> 00:38:41,568
Excuse me, Sheriff Rango.
I want to talk to you.
462
00:38:41,653 --> 00:38:43,153
Hey, Beans,
what do you think of the new duds?
463
00:38:43,238 --> 00:38:45,239
I got a 1 0-gallon hat
marked down from 1 5.
464
00:38:45,323 --> 00:38:46,907
-That's nice.
-Have you met Angelique?
465
00:38:46,991 --> 00:38:48,826
-Hello, Beans.
-Hello, Angelique.
466
00:38:48,910 --> 00:38:49,952
-Tart.
-Floozy.
467
00:38:50,036 --> 00:38:52,246
-Trollop.
-Excuse me, Mr Rango.
468
00:38:52,330 --> 00:38:53,956
I will blow that ugly right off your face!
469
00:38:54,249 --> 00:38:56,250
I was just thinking that...
470
00:38:57,001 --> 00:38:58,710
You want the old John Hancock,
do you?
471
00:38:58,795 --> 00:39:00,921
-Well, here. Hold this.
-Sheriff Rango, this isn't a social call.
472
00:39:01,005 --> 00:39:02,714
There's a bullet in there.
473
00:39:02,799 --> 00:39:04,341
I know about the shindig this afternoon.
474
00:39:04,425 --> 00:39:06,927
-I ordered myself some right fancy duds.
-Sheriff, I'd like to file a...
475
00:39:07,011 --> 00:39:08,762
-Mr Rango!
-Oh, you, too? No problem.
476
00:39:08,847 --> 00:39:10,472
-Here, let me just...
-I need you to investigate...
477
00:39:10,557 --> 00:39:13,433
You know, Beans, I bet you clean up
real nice, you put a little effort into it.
478
00:39:13,518 --> 00:39:14,726
-What?
-Now, remember, son,
479
00:39:14,811 --> 00:39:17,354
stay in school, eat your veggies,
burn everything but Shakespeare.
480
00:39:17,438 --> 00:39:19,064
-Who's Shakespeare?
-Sheriff Rango,
481
00:39:19,524 --> 00:39:21,275
if that is your real name.
482
00:39:21,359 --> 00:39:23,569
I am trying to save my daddy's ranch,
483
00:39:23,653 --> 00:39:25,737
which is on the verge
of an agricultural meltdown
484
00:39:25,822 --> 00:39:28,740
while you're playing patty-cake
with this here trollop!
485
00:39:30,952 --> 00:39:34,288
Sad, really. Such a drab little thing.
486
00:39:34,956 --> 00:39:36,123
Why does she do that?
487
00:39:36,207 --> 00:39:39,459
-It's a survival reflex.
-Her switch is just broken.
488
00:39:39,544 --> 00:39:41,003
Well, that's an inconvenience.
489
00:39:41,087 --> 00:39:43,714
It is not a rash! It is a birthmark!
490
00:39:45,383 --> 00:39:46,675
I did it again, didn't l?
491
00:39:46,759 --> 00:39:48,010
Did what?
492
00:39:48,386 --> 00:39:49,970
Let me ask you something.
493
00:39:50,054 --> 00:39:54,141
Did anybody here mention
what happened to our last sheriff?
494
00:40:33,473 --> 00:40:37,851
Pardon, but may I ask you...
Excuse me, may I ask you...
495
00:40:37,936 --> 00:40:41,772
The last sheriff... Pardon me.
Where is everybody going?
496
00:40:42,315 --> 00:40:45,275
What exactly happened to the...
497
00:40:49,614 --> 00:40:51,198
All day
498
00:40:51,282 --> 00:40:55,285
I've faced the barren waste
499
00:40:55,787 --> 00:40:59,665
Without the taste of water
500
00:41:03,544 --> 00:41:07,047
Cool water
501
00:41:10,051 --> 00:41:13,303
Old Dan and l
502
00:41:13,388 --> 00:41:15,389
With throats burned dry
503
00:41:15,932 --> 00:41:20,143
And souls that cry
504
00:41:20,228 --> 00:41:22,813
For water
505
00:41:25,900 --> 00:41:27,192
Cool
506
00:41:29,112 --> 00:41:30,570
I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.
507
00:41:30,655 --> 00:41:33,115
Clear water
508
00:41:41,124 --> 00:41:42,874
This is a heck of a hoedown
you got going.
509
00:41:42,959 --> 00:41:44,751
Still working out those steps.
510
00:41:44,836 --> 00:41:48,714
So, is this considered
normal civic behaviour?
511
00:41:48,798 --> 00:41:51,299
Every Wednesday, just like clockwork.
512
00:41:51,384 --> 00:41:53,135
You kill bird.
513
00:41:53,219 --> 00:41:56,096
Yeah. Matter of fact, I did.
514
00:41:56,180 --> 00:41:58,724
Bird dead. Snake come.
515
00:41:58,975 --> 00:41:59,975
Snake?
516
00:42:00,059 --> 00:42:01,852
He means Rattlesnake Jake, Mr Rango.
517
00:42:02,020 --> 00:42:04,187
He never comes to town 'cause
he's scared of that hawk.
518
00:42:04,272 --> 00:42:05,564
But he might come now.
519
00:42:05,648 --> 00:42:07,232
Can I have your boots
when you're dead?
520
00:42:07,316 --> 00:42:08,400
No!
521
00:42:08,484 --> 00:42:10,861
And I ain't got no problem
with this Rattlesnake Jake.
522
00:42:10,945 --> 00:42:12,612
That's just what Amos said.
523
00:42:12,864 --> 00:42:14,823
Amos?
524
00:42:18,161 --> 00:42:20,495
You got any gold fillings?
525
00:42:38,765 --> 00:42:41,349
My fellow Dirtonians.
526
00:42:41,434 --> 00:42:46,438
l welcome you to our great day
of deliverance. Hallelujah.
527
00:42:46,522 --> 00:42:48,106
-Hallelujah!
-Hallelujah!
528
00:42:48,191 --> 00:42:51,735
Acolytes, prepare the holy spigot!
529
00:43:02,330 --> 00:43:05,665
We have a newcomer
amongst us today, my friends.
530
00:43:05,750 --> 00:43:08,502
A man I think needs
little introduction to you
531
00:43:08,586 --> 00:43:12,756
so bold has been his entry
into our fair society.
532
00:43:12,840 --> 00:43:16,093
Mr Rango, would you step forward?
533
00:43:21,933 --> 00:43:26,269
The time has come, my friends.
The time that was foretold!
534
00:43:26,354 --> 00:43:28,021
-Hallelujah!
-Hallelujah!
535
00:43:28,106 --> 00:43:29,523
The sacred time!
536
00:43:29,607 --> 00:43:31,399
-Hallelujah!
-Hallelujah!
537
00:43:31,484 --> 00:43:33,860
The time of destiny!
538
00:43:33,945 --> 00:43:35,529
-Hallelujah!
-Hallelujah!
539
00:43:35,613 --> 00:43:38,115
The time of deliverance!
540
00:43:38,199 --> 00:43:39,241
-Hallelujah!
-Hallelujah!
541
00:43:39,325 --> 00:43:43,453
It is the time of hydration!
542
00:43:58,970 --> 00:44:01,388
-It's his fault!
-It's the newcomer!
543
00:44:01,472 --> 00:44:03,181
-Burn him!
-He's a witch!
544
00:44:03,266 --> 00:44:04,391
I get his boots!
545
00:44:04,475 --> 00:44:08,728
My friends, my friends!
Temper your frustrations.
546
00:44:08,813 --> 00:44:13,900
Times will be tough from now on.
Sacrifices will have to be made.
547
00:44:13,985 --> 00:44:17,654
But if I can help in any way,
please know that my door is always...
548
00:44:17,738 --> 00:44:19,364
Hold it, hold it!
549
00:44:19,448 --> 00:44:22,242
Now, this whole thing
stinks three ways to Sunday.
550
00:44:22,326 --> 00:44:24,828
First the bank's run dry
and now this here spigot?
551
00:44:24,912 --> 00:44:25,954
The bank's run dry?
552
00:44:26,038 --> 00:44:28,748
-What's she talking about?
-She said there's no water in the bank!
553
00:44:34,005 --> 00:44:37,174
This is all we have!
We can't give it all out!
554
00:44:37,258 --> 00:44:39,467
That was my rehydration account!
555
00:44:40,887 --> 00:44:44,890
None of that civil disobedience
in my town, thank you very much.
556
00:44:47,476 --> 00:44:50,770
Thank goodness you're here, Sheriff.
Things were getting out of hand.
557
00:44:50,855 --> 00:44:52,731
Come right in.
558
00:44:52,815 --> 00:44:56,860
Let me have a gander at the source
of the societal discontentment here.
559
00:44:59,655 --> 00:45:01,072
Mercy.
560
00:45:01,157 --> 00:45:03,867
All right, listen up! I've been thinking
561
00:45:03,951 --> 00:45:06,745
and I believe I've figured something out.
562
00:45:06,829 --> 00:45:09,289
You folks have a water problem!
563
00:45:11,292 --> 00:45:13,919
Nowjust pay attention, everybody.
I'm trying to make a point here.
564
00:45:14,003 --> 00:45:16,796
Let's say this fella here
were to take a drink of water.
565
00:45:16,881 --> 00:45:19,674
Just one little drink.
No harm, no foul, right?
566
00:45:22,845 --> 00:45:24,012
And you!
567
00:45:24,347 --> 00:45:27,098
You're just as dried up and parched
as a jackrabbit in July.
568
00:45:27,183 --> 00:45:30,268
So you belly on up
and take you a double shot!
569
00:45:31,479 --> 00:45:33,355
Stay with me.
570
00:45:34,232 --> 00:45:38,109
What do you think happens then?
Why we'd all be drinking!
571
00:45:38,819 --> 00:45:41,738
And before you know it,
there wouldn't be any more water.
572
00:45:41,822 --> 00:45:43,823
And then where would we be?
573
00:45:45,159 --> 00:45:46,910
We'd be thirsty.
574
00:45:47,453 --> 00:45:49,162
Real thirsty.
575
00:45:49,580 --> 00:45:52,082
We'd turn on each other
like a bunch of animals!
576
00:45:54,710 --> 00:45:59,589
Now look here.
We have got six days of water.
577
00:46:04,595 --> 00:46:07,305
We have got five days...
578
00:46:08,683 --> 00:46:12,435
As long as we've got water,
we've got ourselves a town.
579
00:46:13,646 --> 00:46:15,563
Sheriff Rango is right.
580
00:46:15,648 --> 00:46:19,276
As long as we have this water,
we have some hope.
581
00:46:19,360 --> 00:46:21,152
And you can all take it from me.
582
00:46:21,237 --> 00:46:24,698
My 1 00% full-time employment
from this moment on
583
00:46:24,782 --> 00:46:28,743
will be to protect
our precious natural resource.
584
00:46:28,828 --> 00:46:32,664
Ain't no one gonna tango
with the Rango.
585
00:46:45,553 --> 00:46:46,803
Evening, ladies.
586
00:46:46,887 --> 00:46:48,680
Evening, Sheriff.
587
00:46:48,764 --> 00:46:50,890
And don't you come back!
588
00:46:50,975 --> 00:46:54,561
Hold on there, Gordy. You get back
in there and you assert yourself,
589
00:46:54,645 --> 00:46:57,897
and I think you'll find the people of this
here town to be surprisingly hospitable.
590
00:46:57,982 --> 00:46:59,274
Thank you, Sheriff.
591
00:46:59,358 --> 00:47:01,234
What? Not you again!
592
00:47:02,695 --> 00:47:04,487
I stand corrected.
593
00:47:10,578 --> 00:47:13,121
-This ain't the bank.
-I told you, Jedidiah!
594
00:47:13,205 --> 00:47:14,497
Hold it right there!
595
00:47:14,582 --> 00:47:15,874
-Who's that?
-It's the Sheriff!
596
00:47:15,958 --> 00:47:17,625
Get them hands up
where I can see them!
597
00:47:18,336 --> 00:47:20,420
Just as I suspected.
598
00:47:20,504 --> 00:47:23,256
Prospecting without the authorised
equipment. Don't move a muscle.
599
00:47:24,050 --> 00:47:25,550
Prospecting?
600
00:47:29,638 --> 00:47:32,390
Now, you got your shovel,
pickaxe, Benadryl, loofah,
601
00:47:32,475 --> 00:47:35,727
assorted snacks, some puzzle books
and you're gonna need a permit.
602
00:47:35,811 --> 00:47:37,520
-Loofah.
-Ezekiel, Jedidiah!
603
00:47:37,605 --> 00:47:39,856
What the Sam Hill's going on up there?
604
00:47:39,940 --> 00:47:43,526
I've had polyps removed
smarter than the two of you!
605
00:47:43,986 --> 00:47:46,196
Hell's fire, this ain't the bank!
606
00:47:46,322 --> 00:47:49,908
Pappy, the Sheriff is standing right here,
helping us out.
607
00:47:49,992 --> 00:47:52,744
Gonna give us a permit for prospecting.
608
00:47:52,828 --> 00:47:55,413
That's right, sir. Just doing my duty.
609
00:47:56,165 --> 00:47:58,249
The lonely constable on his rounds,
610
00:47:58,334 --> 00:48:00,668
keeping an eagle eye out
for mayhem and malfeasance.
611
00:48:01,212 --> 00:48:03,213
Does he look like he sounds?
612
00:48:04,673 --> 00:48:08,468
Well, Sheriff,
if we was to hit the mother lode,
613
00:48:08,552 --> 00:48:10,678
being prospectors and such,
614
00:48:10,763 --> 00:48:13,932
where would we deposit said annuity?
615
00:48:14,016 --> 00:48:15,975
Here in the town of Dirt,
we happen to have
616
00:48:16,060 --> 00:48:18,895
the finest financial institution
this side of the Missouri.
617
00:48:20,648 --> 00:48:23,233
Protected morning, noon and night
by yours truly.
618
00:48:24,985 --> 00:48:26,986
Much obliged.
619
00:48:27,196 --> 00:48:30,073
The bank's been robbed!
The bank's been robbed!
620
00:48:30,157 --> 00:48:32,617
Good Lord, the bank's been robbed!
621
00:48:32,701 --> 00:48:34,119
What's going on?
622
00:48:34,203 --> 00:48:36,413
-It's gone! The water's all gone!
-What'd he say?
623
00:48:36,497 --> 00:48:37,789
He said the bank's been robbed!
624
00:48:38,707 --> 00:48:41,543
Dr Marx! I'm on fire! Embrace me!
625
00:48:42,169 --> 00:48:46,798
The bank's been robbed, the town is dry
"We'll die of thirst," the people cry
626
00:48:46,882 --> 00:48:51,428
He promised to protect the vault
The water's gone, it's all his fault
627
00:48:52,096 --> 00:48:54,055
All right, folks, stand back,
clear the area.
628
00:48:54,140 --> 00:48:55,473
This is a crime scene now.
629
00:48:55,558 --> 00:48:58,685
Secure the perimeter, dust for prints,
check for fibres, scan for DNA.
630
00:48:58,769 --> 00:49:01,479
I want a urine sample from everyone.
And get me a latte.
631
00:49:01,564 --> 00:49:02,897
And don't mix up the two.
632
00:49:02,982 --> 00:49:04,149
What's this?
633
00:49:04,233 --> 00:49:05,900
"Prospecting Permit."
634
00:49:05,985 --> 00:49:07,777
I'll take that. Material evidence.
635
00:49:07,862 --> 00:49:09,404
What are we gonna do now, Sheriff?
636
00:49:09,488 --> 00:49:12,198
-We need that water.
-We're all going to die!
637
00:49:12,283 --> 00:49:15,910
My friends, we all know
what we have to do now.
638
00:49:15,995 --> 00:49:19,789
That's right.
We all know what we have to do now.
639
00:49:19,874 --> 00:49:21,916
-And that would be?
-Form a posse.
640
00:49:22,001 --> 00:49:23,877
Form a possum!
641
00:49:26,130 --> 00:49:27,630
A posse.
642
00:49:29,049 --> 00:49:32,135
Now, we're gonna be doing this
in an orderly fashion.
643
00:49:32,720 --> 00:49:37,640
First off, does anybody here know
how to use a firearm of any kind?
644
00:49:40,102 --> 00:49:41,728
All right, then.
645
00:49:41,812 --> 00:49:43,354
What do we do now, Sheriff?
646
00:49:43,439 --> 00:49:46,149
Now we ride!
647
00:49:59,121 --> 00:50:01,539
Where are we going?
648
00:50:01,624 --> 00:50:02,874
What?
649
00:50:02,958 --> 00:50:04,792
Where are we going?
650
00:50:12,134 --> 00:50:15,970
Now, as my deputy, you'll be in charge
of all tracking and finding of villains,
651
00:50:16,055 --> 00:50:18,890
utilising your well-developed
Injun-uity, no offence taken.
652
00:50:18,974 --> 00:50:20,225
So which way do you think they went?
653
00:50:20,309 --> 00:50:22,894
You want to sniff the air or commune
with a buffalo or something?
654
00:50:26,607 --> 00:50:28,483
Oh, you're good.
655
00:50:31,070 --> 00:50:32,779
I'm depending on you, Spoons.
656
00:50:32,863 --> 00:50:35,532
You got a little tobaccy
in the beard there.
657
00:50:35,616 --> 00:50:38,576
Always good to have a medical man
along, Doc.
658
00:50:38,661 --> 00:50:41,412
Reptiles got to stick together, right,
my brother?
659
00:50:41,497 --> 00:50:42,789
I'm an amphibian.
660
00:50:42,873 --> 00:50:44,415
Ain't no shame in that.
661
00:50:47,670 --> 00:50:50,171
You sure you're
fit for duty there, soldier?
662
00:50:52,049 --> 00:50:53,883
Well, you got a little something
in your eye there.
663
00:50:54,635 --> 00:50:58,429
Oh, that? That there's conjunctivitis, sir.
It's hereditary.
664
00:50:59,431 --> 00:51:02,350
Well, I'm glad to hear
it's not contagious.
665
00:51:03,018 --> 00:51:06,688
Now, just wait a cotton-picking minute!
A posse ain't no place for a...
666
00:51:07,439 --> 00:51:08,773
Never mind.
667
00:51:08,857 --> 00:51:10,817
Hold on there, little sister.
668
00:51:10,901 --> 00:51:13,611
Someone's gonna have
to look after the town while I'm gone.
669
00:51:15,447 --> 00:51:16,864
Can I gut-shoot someone?
670
00:51:18,200 --> 00:51:20,243
Let's put a pin in that.
671
00:51:20,744 --> 00:51:23,705
Sheriff, you're going to bring
that water back, aren't you?
672
00:51:24,582 --> 00:51:26,082
Count on it, little sister.
673
00:51:29,169 --> 00:51:32,380
-Which way do we go, Sheriff?
-There's tunnels everywhere.
674
00:51:32,464 --> 00:51:34,048
Whole town's perforated with them.
675
00:51:34,133 --> 00:51:37,677
She got more holes in her
than a painted lady on a porcupine.
676
00:51:37,803 --> 00:51:40,722
Hey, my daddy took me to her place.
677
00:51:41,390 --> 00:51:43,099
Not what I expected.
678
00:51:43,934 --> 00:51:46,853
How'd them fellers
find the bank, anyway?
679
00:51:46,937 --> 00:51:49,063
Gentlemen, if we can just
stay on task here.
680
00:51:49,148 --> 00:51:51,691
Sheriff! Over here!
681
00:51:55,029 --> 00:51:56,738
-Would you look at that?
-Like seeing the face of God.
682
00:51:58,115 --> 00:51:59,574
Amen, brother.
683
00:51:59,658 --> 00:52:02,535
I remember when it used to flow
every Wednesday.
684
00:52:02,619 --> 00:52:04,620
Those were the halcyon days.
685
00:52:04,705 --> 00:52:06,956
Must be a reason she quit on us.
686
00:52:07,249 --> 00:52:10,793
Whatever the reason,
something is controlling this here water.
687
00:52:10,878 --> 00:52:12,670
What do you say, Sheriff?
688
00:52:13,672 --> 00:52:16,674
Clearly, the robbers came
from this direction.
689
00:52:16,759 --> 00:52:19,177
I say we track this pipe
back to its hydraulic origin
690
00:52:19,261 --> 00:52:21,763
and apprehend the culprits
behind this aquatic conundrum.
691
00:52:21,847 --> 00:52:24,182
-What'd he say?
-I think he said follow the pipe.
692
00:52:24,266 --> 00:52:26,684
-He said follow the pipe.
-He said follow the pipe.
693
00:52:31,231 --> 00:52:33,149
Sure is humid down here.
694
00:52:33,233 --> 00:52:36,277
Yeah, it's activating my piles.
695
00:52:36,362 --> 00:52:38,112
I had a goitre removed once.
696
00:52:38,197 --> 00:52:41,324
Looked like Tony Bennett
stepping out of the shower.
697
00:52:41,408 --> 00:52:44,243
Shoot, I put that on a tortilla.
698
00:52:55,506 --> 00:52:59,842
Whatever you do, do not look down.
699
00:53:02,346 --> 00:53:05,473
-What is this place?
-It's an aquifer.
700
00:53:07,351 --> 00:53:08,851
What's an aquifer?
701
00:53:08,936 --> 00:53:10,937
Well, it's for aqua.
702
00:53:11,939 --> 00:53:13,815
Well, it's empty now.
703
00:53:32,709 --> 00:53:34,669
That's a big one.
704
00:53:37,297 --> 00:53:39,924
-It's the end of the line.
-Don't go no further.
705
00:53:40,008 --> 00:53:43,803
Well, now that there is a pipe.
It's got to be connected to something.
706
00:53:43,887 --> 00:53:46,514
You talk too much.
Why don't you put a cork in it?
707
00:53:46,598 --> 00:53:48,975
Why don't you put a cork...
Tell you where the sun don't shine.
708
00:53:49,059 --> 00:53:50,560
Your mama did.
I'll cook her right up.
709
00:53:50,644 --> 00:53:52,186
You two just don't get it, do you?
710
00:53:52,271 --> 00:53:55,940
Someone or something
is messing with our hydration
711
00:53:56,024 --> 00:53:57,984
and that pipe
has got something to do with it.
712
00:53:58,068 --> 00:53:59,902
I thought
we was following bank robbers!
713
00:53:59,987 --> 00:54:02,280
We're experiencing a paradigm shift.
714
00:54:02,364 --> 00:54:04,991
I'm gonna shift the features on your face
if you don't shut up!
715
00:54:05,075 --> 00:54:06,367
Go ahead and try!
716
00:54:08,245 --> 00:54:11,038
Quiet, you savages! Stop your rattling.
You're affecting my cogitation.
717
00:54:13,417 --> 00:54:16,419
Whoa! I got it. Snuff out them torches.
718
00:54:22,176 --> 00:54:23,217
Sure enough.
719
00:54:23,802 --> 00:54:25,553
Smart thinking there, feller.
720
00:54:25,637 --> 00:54:28,347
-Start climbing.
-Get your foot out of my face!
721
00:54:28,432 --> 00:54:29,974
Not bad, huh, Beans?
722
00:54:30,058 --> 00:54:32,476
You keep thinking like that,
your hat's gonna catch on fire.
723
00:54:32,561 --> 00:54:35,021
Well, you know, you get on a roll,
you just...
724
00:54:35,856 --> 00:54:37,190
Hot, hot! Burn.
725
00:54:48,577 --> 00:54:51,954
Poor things.
All they wanted was a little water.
726
00:54:52,039 --> 00:54:55,499
Cactus dying of thirst. It don't bode well.
727
00:54:55,584 --> 00:54:57,293
-Hey, look what I found!
-What you got there?
728
00:54:57,377 --> 00:55:00,296
-I saw that first!
-Hey, that's mine!
729
00:55:00,380 --> 00:55:01,964
Give me that!
730
00:55:02,049 --> 00:55:04,050
It's empty anyway.
731
00:55:04,134 --> 00:55:05,593
I knew that.
732
00:55:05,677 --> 00:55:06,969
Where'd you find that?
733
00:55:07,054 --> 00:55:09,889
Sheriff! You're going to want to see this!
734
00:55:13,560 --> 00:55:15,269
It's Mr Merrimack from the bank.
735
00:55:15,354 --> 00:55:16,771
What's he doing here?
736
00:55:16,855 --> 00:55:18,397
-Everybody stand back.
-All right, let me see.
737
00:55:18,482 --> 00:55:20,983
Looks like them varmints shot him
in the back.
738
00:55:21,068 --> 00:55:25,238
No, this man wasn't shot.
He was drowned!
739
00:55:25,322 --> 00:55:27,990
-Drowned?
-In the middle of the desert?
740
00:55:28,075 --> 00:55:29,825
What a way to go.
741
00:55:31,495 --> 00:55:35,248
Well, now, whose boot prints are those?
742
00:55:39,086 --> 00:55:42,546
That's interesting.
The ground's still wet.
743
00:55:42,798 --> 00:55:44,632
I suppose we should bury him.
744
00:55:44,716 --> 00:55:47,301
I don't know. Birds got to eat, too.
745
00:55:47,386 --> 00:55:48,678
Circle of life!
746
00:55:48,762 --> 00:55:49,804
Sheriff.
747
00:55:49,888 --> 00:55:51,430
Will you say a few words?
748
00:55:52,808 --> 00:55:54,725
Yeah. Yeah.
749
00:55:57,187 --> 00:55:58,479
Dearly beloved.
750
00:55:58,563 --> 00:56:03,317
We are gathered here today
to honour this man.
751
00:56:03,944 --> 00:56:05,152
Mr Merrimack,
752
00:56:05,570 --> 00:56:07,154
you have the right to remain silent.
753
00:56:07,364 --> 00:56:09,573
Speak now or forever hold your peace.
754
00:56:09,658 --> 00:56:10,700
Amen.
755
00:56:10,993 --> 00:56:12,034
-Amen.
-Amen.
756
00:56:12,244 --> 00:56:15,079
Hey! What's that dad-gum Indian doing?
757
00:56:19,001 --> 00:56:21,711
I see you're consulting with the spirits.
758
00:56:21,795 --> 00:56:25,131
No, I'm moulting.
Means I'm ready to mate.
759
00:56:26,633 --> 00:56:28,175
I'll keep that in mind.
760
00:56:28,844 --> 00:56:29,969
Cactus fruit.
761
00:56:30,053 --> 00:56:32,847
Ah, yes. The ancient cactus fruit.
762
00:56:32,931 --> 00:56:34,724
I believe your people use it
as seasoning
763
00:56:34,808 --> 00:56:36,267
when preparing your native dishes.
764
00:56:36,351 --> 00:56:38,185
Also natural laxative.
765
00:56:39,855 --> 00:56:40,938
Pick up trail.
766
00:56:41,023 --> 00:56:44,483
Three men heading west.
One blind, one with
767
00:56:46,111 --> 00:56:48,529
enlarged prostate, riding sidesaddle.
768
00:56:48,613 --> 00:56:51,907
-What did he say?
-They're riding sidesaddle.
769
00:56:51,992 --> 00:56:53,409
-We're whispering.
-What'd he say?
770
00:56:53,493 --> 00:56:54,618
Someone's got a bad valve.
771
00:56:54,703 --> 00:56:57,663
All right, which one of you fellers
needs a check-up?
772
00:56:58,623 --> 00:56:59,749
Awkward.
773
00:57:01,084 --> 00:57:04,378
What exactly are we going to do now?
774
00:57:05,005 --> 00:57:07,381
Now we ride!
775
00:57:12,220 --> 00:57:15,931
That means we're riding now!
This moment.
776
00:57:58,934 --> 00:58:01,352
Marshmallows remind me
of going camping with my daddy.
777
00:58:01,436 --> 00:58:03,604
I could eat them all night long.
778
00:58:05,398 --> 00:58:08,609
Of course he did make me cough them
back up again for breakfast.
779
00:58:10,278 --> 00:58:13,447
This one time,
I coughed up an entire Dalmatian.
780
00:58:13,532 --> 00:58:17,368
That ain't nothing.
I coughed up a whole tribe of pygmies.
781
00:58:18,370 --> 00:58:20,329
They started looking at me weird.
782
00:58:20,413 --> 00:58:23,707
I remember them.
They was quite friendly.
783
00:58:23,792 --> 00:58:27,336
I found a human spinal column
in my fecal matter once.
784
00:58:30,423 --> 00:58:33,008
You might want to get that looked at.
785
00:58:34,344 --> 00:58:36,262
Pass the beans, Beans.
786
00:58:36,346 --> 00:58:38,055
-Sheriff?
-No, thanks.
787
00:58:38,140 --> 00:58:42,560
Mr Rango? Can you tell us
about the Spirit of the West?
788
00:58:43,353 --> 00:58:46,480
-Yeah, tell us about that.
-Is it true what they say?
789
00:58:46,565 --> 00:58:50,234
Yes, the Spirit of the West!
790
00:58:50,318 --> 00:58:52,736
The eternally unattainable ideal.
791
00:58:53,155 --> 00:58:55,781
They say he rides in
an alabaster carriage
792
00:58:55,866 --> 00:58:57,449
with golden guardians to protect him.
793
00:58:58,577 --> 00:59:01,495
But he only appears to those
who have undertaken an epic quest!
794
00:59:02,247 --> 00:59:03,664
And have made it
795
00:59:03,999 --> 00:59:06,000
to the other side.
796
00:59:10,297 --> 00:59:11,547
The other side of what?
797
00:59:12,007 --> 00:59:13,591
It's a metaphor.
798
00:59:13,675 --> 00:59:14,717
My eye!
799
00:59:14,801 --> 00:59:16,343
That's gonna heal right up.
800
00:59:16,428 --> 00:59:20,431
Sheriff? What are you going to do
about Rattlesnake Jake?
801
00:59:20,974 --> 00:59:22,016
What? Where?
802
00:59:23,768 --> 00:59:27,730
Sorry about that. Word is
you come against him once or twice.
803
00:59:28,773 --> 00:59:30,107
Yeah.
804
00:59:30,192 --> 00:59:32,193
Jake. You mean my brother.
805
00:59:32,277 --> 00:59:34,153
-Your brother?
-That's what I said!
806
00:59:34,946 --> 00:59:37,531
But he's a snake and you're a lizard.
807
00:59:37,949 --> 00:59:40,409
Well, Momma had an active social life.
808
00:59:41,828 --> 00:59:42,953
Did he ever bite you?
809
00:59:43,038 --> 00:59:46,457
Sure enough did. Look at that baby.
Go ahead, you can touch it.
810
00:59:46,541 --> 00:59:50,461
That's interesting.
That there's a belly button.
811
00:59:50,587 --> 00:59:52,129
Luckily, I'm immune to his venom.
812
00:59:52,214 --> 00:59:54,131
Put some in my coffee
just to give it a little tang.
813
00:59:54,216 --> 00:59:56,175
ls it true he's only scared
of them hawks?
814
00:59:56,259 --> 00:59:59,887
Them's what we call
his natural predator.
815
01:00:01,640 --> 01:00:04,808
All this talk of that serpentine devil
is putting my quills on edge!
816
01:00:04,893 --> 01:00:06,894
I ain't sleeping tonight. No, sir.
817
01:00:06,978 --> 01:00:10,147
Don't you all worry about a thing.
Come tomorrow, we'll locate that water
818
01:00:10,232 --> 01:00:12,233
and return to a hero's welcome.
819
01:00:13,360 --> 01:00:15,903
Friends, before we bunk down
820
01:00:15,987 --> 01:00:18,447
I'd like us all to join hands
for a moment,
821
01:00:18,531 --> 01:00:21,283
say a few words
to the Spirit of the West.
822
01:00:21,368 --> 01:00:22,993
That's a good idea.
823
01:00:25,121 --> 01:00:28,123
Ain't always spoken rightly to you,
Spirit of the West.
824
01:00:28,500 --> 01:00:34,129
But tonight I want to thank you for
bringing Sheriff Rango into our lives.
825
01:00:35,048 --> 01:00:36,799
It's a hard life we got.
826
01:00:36,883 --> 01:00:39,802
Sometimes I don't know how
we're gonna make it.
827
01:00:40,262 --> 01:00:43,722
But somehow, Sheriff Rango
makes me think we will.
828
01:00:44,724 --> 01:00:47,601
We needed a brave man
and you sent us one.
829
01:00:48,728 --> 01:00:51,772
Nice to have someone
to believe in again.
830
01:00:51,856 --> 01:00:55,484
Thank you, Spirit of the West. Amen.
831
01:00:56,444 --> 01:00:58,320
-Amen.
-Amen.
832
01:01:30,145 --> 01:01:31,979
Just checking.
833
01:01:34,566 --> 01:01:37,318
-It's a little cold tonight.
-Thank you.
834
01:01:39,821 --> 01:01:42,656
You ever feel like those things
are looking at you?
835
01:01:42,824 --> 01:01:44,491
That's a Spanish dagger.
836
01:01:44,617 --> 01:01:47,411
But around here,
we just call them the Walking Cactus.
837
01:01:47,495 --> 01:01:48,579
Walking?
838
01:01:48,663 --> 01:01:52,583
There's an old legend they actually
walk across the desert to find water.
839
01:01:52,667 --> 01:01:56,420
When I was a little girl, I'd stay up late
watching them, to see if they'd move.
840
01:01:56,504 --> 01:02:00,591
I thought if I could follow them,
they'd lead me to someplace wonderful.
841
01:02:00,675 --> 01:02:04,345
Someplace with enough water
for everyone.
842
01:02:05,263 --> 01:02:09,808
Night after night, I watched them.
I never saw them move.
843
01:02:10,685 --> 01:02:11,810
But you're still watching.
844
01:02:12,354 --> 01:02:14,938
Who doesn't want to find
someplace wonderful?
845
01:02:15,690 --> 01:02:18,692
We'll find the water, Beans.
I promise you.
846
01:02:22,113 --> 01:02:24,490
That's such a lonely sound.
847
01:02:25,325 --> 01:02:27,284
You ever get lonely?
848
01:02:27,369 --> 01:02:28,786
Sometimes.
849
01:02:28,870 --> 01:02:33,374
I can't imagine it. You're such a charmer
and everyone likes you so much.
850
01:02:33,875 --> 01:02:36,877
-I never made friends easy like that.
-No?
851
01:02:37,670 --> 01:02:40,130
No, we're pretty isolated
out there on the ranch,
852
01:02:40,215 --> 01:02:42,966
sort of like being sealed up
in a little box.
853
01:02:43,051 --> 01:02:46,470
Don't really see a lot of folks.
854
01:02:46,554 --> 01:02:48,806
I wouldn't know what that's like.
855
01:02:49,557 --> 01:02:52,184
There someone special
in your life, Rango?
856
01:02:52,727 --> 01:02:55,646
There used to be.
But she couldn't keep her head.
857
01:02:55,730 --> 01:02:57,731
Besides, my life's too dangerous
for that kind of thing.
858
01:02:57,857 --> 01:03:00,901
You know, it's an awful solitary
existence out there on the prairie.
859
01:03:01,027 --> 01:03:03,237
Riding the ranges and the suchlike.
860
01:03:04,989 --> 01:03:06,240
Beans?
861
01:03:07,867 --> 01:03:09,159
Beans?
862
01:03:26,261 --> 01:03:30,347
I'm gonna skin you alive, boy! I'm gonna
whup you like a red-headed stepchild!
863
01:03:30,432 --> 01:03:31,765
Choleric varmints, ain't they?
864
01:03:31,891 --> 01:03:34,852
Dysfunctional family. Need intervention.
865
01:03:35,937 --> 01:03:37,396
What's that coming?
866
01:03:39,441 --> 01:03:40,899
It's the water.
867
01:03:42,944 --> 01:03:46,780
I have a plan, and each and every one
of you has a part to play.
868
01:03:46,906 --> 01:03:48,115
What do I do?
869
01:03:48,241 --> 01:03:50,033
Spoons, you got
the most important job of all.
870
01:03:50,285 --> 01:03:52,369
You stay up here on the ridge,
and if anything goes wrong,
871
01:03:52,454 --> 01:03:55,289
you give the signal.
872
01:04:06,301 --> 01:04:09,636
Hey, Beans.
What size dress you wearing?
873
01:04:09,762 --> 01:04:12,389
-He got it!
-Hallelujah!
874
01:04:12,474 --> 01:04:14,141
-He found the water!
-You did it, son.
875
01:04:14,267 --> 01:04:15,309
Well, actually...
876
01:04:15,393 --> 01:04:18,228
Why can't you be all brainy
like your brother?
877
01:04:18,313 --> 01:04:20,731
Pappy, about that water.
There's something I gots to tell you.
878
01:04:20,815 --> 01:04:22,649
Hush up, now. Somebody's coming.
879
01:04:25,111 --> 01:04:28,489
Good sirs, gracious good afternoon
to thee and thee and thee.
880
01:04:28,615 --> 01:04:30,824
May I present Madame Lupone's
881
01:04:30,909 --> 01:04:33,327
Terpsichorean Troupe
of Travelling Thespians!
882
01:04:35,163 --> 01:04:37,331
-What is that?
-I think they's thespians.
883
01:04:37,415 --> 01:04:40,501
Thespians?
That's illegal in seven states!
884
01:04:40,627 --> 01:04:44,421
The stage is set. The princess
prepares to take her own life.
885
01:04:44,506 --> 01:04:46,131
I yearn for love.
886
01:04:47,091 --> 01:04:49,134
Meanwhile, the lone sentry
stands watch at the castle gate.
887
01:04:51,179 --> 01:04:52,930
Stands watch at the castle gate...
888
01:04:54,098 --> 01:04:56,099
Hark! Who goes there?
889
01:04:56,184 --> 01:04:58,018
This plot is highly predictable.
890
01:04:58,102 --> 01:04:59,436
Quiet! This is my favourite part.
891
01:04:59,521 --> 01:05:02,189
Arriving to great fanfare
'twas her aged father,
892
01:05:05,777 --> 01:05:07,653
strucketh by Cupid.
893
01:05:08,947 --> 01:05:12,032
Prithee, unhand my fair daughter
894
01:05:12,158 --> 01:05:13,825
and reach for the...
895
01:05:16,454 --> 01:05:17,996
-Line?
-"Reach for the sky!"
896
01:05:20,542 --> 01:05:22,125
What was that?
897
01:05:22,210 --> 01:05:24,211
Must be that immersive theatre.
898
01:05:24,337 --> 01:05:25,546
We got you surrounded!
899
01:05:25,672 --> 01:05:29,550
You and your entire family get
your hands up where I can see them.
900
01:05:29,634 --> 01:05:32,052
My entire family?
901
01:05:36,724 --> 01:05:40,978
Grits and spit and collard greens
902
01:05:41,062 --> 01:05:45,482
Waffle chitlins, monkey brains
903
01:05:45,567 --> 01:05:49,403
Refried bones and booger blood
904
01:05:49,487 --> 01:05:52,864
Pickled eggs and flaps of mud
905
01:05:56,202 --> 01:05:58,328
It's a full house.
906
01:05:58,413 --> 01:06:01,707
Looks like we're gonna have ourselves
a good old-fashioned standoff.
907
01:06:02,584 --> 01:06:06,587
I'll have you know, you're not looking
at our entire contingent.
908
01:06:13,177 --> 01:06:15,596
What's that supposed to be?
909
01:06:15,722 --> 01:06:17,097
That's the signal.
910
01:06:17,223 --> 01:06:20,851
That's the signal!
Something must have gone wrong!
911
01:06:24,606 --> 01:06:28,609
So something's supposed to happen?
912
01:06:28,735 --> 01:06:32,195
I am open to suggestions.
913
01:06:40,079 --> 01:06:41,622
Run!
914
01:06:47,795 --> 01:06:49,046
Get on the wagon!
915
01:06:55,094 --> 01:06:57,804
Should we have ourselves
some sport, chill'ens?
916
01:06:58,765 --> 01:07:00,724
I likes it when they run.
917
01:07:00,808 --> 01:07:03,810
Maybelle, give the holler!
918
01:07:10,443 --> 01:07:11,735
Looks like we made it!
919
01:07:11,819 --> 01:07:13,320
That audience was quite responsive.
920
01:07:13,446 --> 01:07:16,281
Yeah, well, I think that
chromosome pool is about dried up.
921
01:07:43,518 --> 01:07:44,935
We got bats!
922
01:07:45,853 --> 01:07:47,646
Here! You drive.
923
01:07:55,655 --> 01:07:58,031
Looks like there's gonna be
soup tonight!
924
01:07:58,491 --> 01:08:00,617
Come on, let's get some!
925
01:08:09,961 --> 01:08:13,213
What in tarnation?
Don't shoot the water!
926
01:08:13,339 --> 01:08:16,800
Jedidiah! It's time for
the Alabama squeeze box!
927
01:08:16,884 --> 01:08:18,343
Okay, Pa!
928
01:08:25,309 --> 01:08:27,227
I am sensing hostility.
929
01:08:27,311 --> 01:08:28,520
Incoming!
930
01:08:34,318 --> 01:08:35,569
Hello!
931
01:08:35,653 --> 01:08:36,862
Goodbye!
932
01:08:46,664 --> 01:08:49,040
Lasso that swine!
933
01:09:09,395 --> 01:09:11,271
I suggest we take evasive action!
934
01:09:11,355 --> 01:09:13,273
I suggest you shut up and shoot!
935
01:09:13,399 --> 01:09:15,942
-What happened to the Sheriff?
-He had a previous engagement!
936
01:09:16,068 --> 01:09:18,737
Boseefus, give them some gumbo now!
937
01:09:25,411 --> 01:09:28,079
What was that? Go check it out!
938
01:09:29,373 --> 01:09:31,082
What is it? ls there a problem?
939
01:09:33,461 --> 01:09:34,920
You could call it that.
940
01:10:23,344 --> 01:10:24,469
Headache.
941
01:10:27,139 --> 01:10:29,266
ls that all you got?
942
01:10:47,159 --> 01:10:49,369
That wasn't altogether unpleasant!
943
01:10:50,997 --> 01:10:52,038
Eat lead!
944
01:11:02,717 --> 01:11:04,301
Here, hold these.
945
01:11:15,062 --> 01:11:16,855
Get your hands off me!
946
01:11:21,903 --> 01:11:23,361
Oh, I'm sorry.
947
01:11:32,163 --> 01:11:33,246
Jump!
948
01:11:56,145 --> 01:11:57,729
It's impossible.
949
01:11:58,147 --> 01:12:01,066
It can't be. It's empty.
950
01:12:01,150 --> 01:12:02,859
There's no water!
951
01:12:02,944 --> 01:12:06,404
No water?
Then what the hell we been fighting for?
952
01:12:06,489 --> 01:12:10,742
Sir, you have defiled and desecrated
the very sustenance of our livelihood!
953
01:12:10,826 --> 01:12:13,453
I think that there fella in the purty dress
is the Sheriff.
954
01:12:13,579 --> 01:12:16,122
That's the same fellow what give us
a prospecting permit?
955
01:12:16,248 --> 01:12:19,084
-A what?
-Irrelevant! Obfuscation.
956
01:12:19,168 --> 01:12:21,169
You and your kin are under arrest
for bank robbery
957
01:12:21,295 --> 01:12:23,296
and the murder
of our beloved financial advisor
958
01:12:23,422 --> 01:12:26,883
Johannes Merrimack the Third,
AKA, Fluffy Joe.
959
01:12:26,968 --> 01:12:28,551
Sheriff, we didn't kill nobody.
960
01:12:28,636 --> 01:12:31,012
We done tunnelled into that vault,
but there weren't nothing in it.
961
01:12:31,138 --> 01:12:33,056
Somebody done robbed that bank
before we robbed it.
962
01:12:33,140 --> 01:12:34,891
Then where'd you get this here jug?
963
01:12:34,976 --> 01:12:36,977
That's what I been trying
to tell you, Pappy.
964
01:12:37,103 --> 01:12:38,269
I found it in the desert.
965
01:12:38,354 --> 01:12:41,606
Then why in tarnation
did you bring it here?
966
01:12:41,691 --> 01:12:45,652
Hold on! You're saying this here jug
was empty when you found it?
967
01:12:45,778 --> 01:12:46,987
That's right.
968
01:12:47,113 --> 01:12:48,405
I don't believe a word of it.
969
01:12:48,489 --> 01:12:50,031
-Let's hang them, Sheriff!
-String them up!
970
01:12:50,157 --> 01:12:51,616
Who'd dump water in the desert?
971
01:12:52,159 --> 01:12:53,785
Wouldn't be the first time.
972
01:12:54,286 --> 01:12:57,038
It's a puzzle!
It's like a big old mammogram!
973
01:12:57,164 --> 01:12:58,999
What's going on, Sheriff?
974
01:12:59,125 --> 01:13:00,458
I don't know.
975
01:13:00,543 --> 01:13:04,587
But I'm going to strip away this mystery
and expose its private parts.
976
01:13:04,672 --> 01:13:06,965
You and your kin are coming with me.
977
01:13:11,470 --> 01:13:12,679
They're coming!
978
01:13:12,805 --> 01:13:14,514
Here they come!
979
01:13:15,725 --> 01:13:18,184
Looks like they got them robbers.
980
01:13:40,708 --> 01:13:42,167
Where's the water?
981
01:13:45,212 --> 01:13:47,172
There weren't no water.
982
01:14:01,270 --> 01:14:03,021
Where is he going?
983
01:14:04,065 --> 01:14:06,566
He's going to see the Mayor.
984
01:14:08,694 --> 01:14:10,653
He's got to be pleased with that.
985
01:14:10,738 --> 01:14:12,572
That's a good one, boss!
986
01:14:22,374 --> 01:14:23,458
That's interesting.
987
01:14:23,584 --> 01:14:26,419
I do apologise for the shoes, Mr Rango,
988
01:14:26,545 --> 01:14:29,839
but there's a certain protocol
to this game, you understand.
989
01:14:29,924 --> 01:14:32,258
I'm a bit of a stickler for protocol.
990
01:14:32,384 --> 01:14:35,303
Well, that's good, 'cause you got
a few questions to answer
991
01:14:35,429 --> 01:14:37,722
and I've got my own protocol.
992
01:14:41,727 --> 01:14:44,604
But why would anyone dump water
in the blooming desert?
993
01:14:44,730 --> 01:14:48,733
It does seem a bit naïve, taking the word
of admitted bank robbers.
994
01:14:48,818 --> 01:14:52,445
Besides, once they hang,
yourjob is done.
995
01:14:52,571 --> 01:14:54,030
-Bravo!
-Job well done.
996
01:14:54,115 --> 01:14:57,075
But what if somebody did rob the bank
before they got there?
997
01:14:57,159 --> 01:14:59,327
And who would do that, Mr Rango?
998
01:14:59,453 --> 01:15:01,663
I was hoping you could tell me.
999
01:15:01,789 --> 01:15:04,749
That sounds marginally
near to an accusation.
1000
01:15:04,834 --> 01:15:06,835
Take it any way you like.
1001
01:15:12,174 --> 01:15:15,802
Something you said keeps rattling
around in my frontal lobe.
1002
01:15:15,928 --> 01:15:17,095
What's that?
1003
01:15:17,763 --> 01:15:21,474
"Control the water
and you control everything."
1004
01:15:22,101 --> 01:15:24,144
Come now, Mr Rango.
1005
01:15:24,270 --> 01:15:27,147
You attribute divine power to me.
1006
01:15:27,273 --> 01:15:30,441
How on earth
could I possibly control the water?
1007
01:15:32,945 --> 01:15:36,030
You've obviously mastered this game.
1008
01:15:36,157 --> 01:15:39,576
Well, I've been playing it
for many years, sir.
1009
01:15:39,660 --> 01:15:42,829
I was here before the highway split
this great valley.
1010
01:15:42,955 --> 01:15:45,582
I watched the march of progress,
1011
01:15:45,666 --> 01:15:48,168
and I learned a thing or two.
1012
01:15:48,669 --> 01:15:51,838
Perhaps it's time you started
to take the long view,
1013
01:15:51,964 --> 01:15:55,800
begin to appreciate
the broad sweep of history.
1014
01:15:56,468 --> 01:15:57,969
Look out there, son.
1015
01:15:58,888 --> 01:16:01,306
You can almost see time passing.
1016
01:16:04,560 --> 01:16:06,603
What are you building out here?
1017
01:16:06,687 --> 01:16:10,023
The future, Mr Rango, the future.
1018
01:16:10,149 --> 01:16:13,818
One day soon,
all this is going to fade into myth,
1019
01:16:13,903 --> 01:16:16,738
the frontier town, the lawman,
the gunslinger.
1020
01:16:16,864 --> 01:16:19,240
There's just no place
for them any more.
1021
01:16:19,366 --> 01:16:22,660
-We're civilised now.
-That's right, civilised.
1022
01:16:23,495 --> 01:16:25,079
That's what the future holds.
1023
01:16:25,206 --> 01:16:28,541
You can either be part of it,
or you can be left behind.
1024
01:16:28,918 --> 01:16:32,795
ls that what happened to
Mr Merrimack? Did he get left behind?
1025
01:16:32,880 --> 01:16:37,550
Careful, Mr Rango. You seem to forget
you're just one little lizard.
1026
01:16:37,885 --> 01:16:41,721
You seem to forget
I'm the law around these parts.
1027
01:16:44,391 --> 01:16:47,477
Our new sheriff has been
playing the hero for so long,
1028
01:16:47,561 --> 01:16:49,979
he's actually starting to believe it.
1029
01:16:50,064 --> 01:16:52,523
Call in Rattlesnake Jake.
1030
01:16:52,608 --> 01:16:55,276
But Jake's the Grim Reaper.
1031
01:16:55,402 --> 01:16:57,737
He never leaves
without taking a blooming soul.
1032
01:16:57,863 --> 01:16:59,072
Do it!
1033
01:17:13,587 --> 01:17:17,799
Now be still. You gotta look
presentable to meet your maker.
1034
01:17:23,597 --> 01:17:26,975
Death has arrived
1035
01:17:31,438 --> 01:17:35,817
How will the hero survive?
1036
01:17:39,613 --> 01:17:42,740
The Mayor has bought up
all the land in the valley,
1037
01:17:42,825 --> 01:17:44,701
except for your ranch, Miss Beans.
1038
01:17:44,785 --> 01:17:48,621
That just don't make no sense.
Without water, that land is useless.
1039
01:17:48,747 --> 01:17:51,541
Unless he controls the water.
1040
01:17:51,625 --> 01:17:53,501
Like a monkey's bladder!
1041
01:17:53,627 --> 01:17:55,878
Then he could bring it back
once he's bought up all the land.
1042
01:17:56,130 --> 01:17:58,089
But how does he control the water?
1043
01:17:59,425 --> 01:18:02,552
Well, you gotta spend some time
and train them.
1044
01:18:02,636 --> 01:18:05,763
'Cause you know monkeys, when
they do go, you rub their nose in it.
1045
01:18:05,973 --> 01:18:07,974
Sheriff, we got a problem.
1046
01:18:14,690 --> 01:18:18,109
Hold on, Beans.
That won't be necessary.
1047
01:18:21,655 --> 01:18:24,866
-Hang him till his head turns blue!
-Give us them robbers!
1048
01:18:24,992 --> 01:18:27,410
Hold on! Calm down, everyone!
Let me talk!
1049
01:18:27,494 --> 01:18:29,787
-Nail them to the courthouse!
-Now, calm down, everybody.
1050
01:18:29,872 --> 01:18:32,540
Get them out here
so we can cut off their giblets!
1051
01:18:33,167 --> 01:18:34,751
You, too, Spoons?
1052
01:18:34,835 --> 01:18:38,212
They done taken that water.
They taken everything we got!
1053
01:18:38,338 --> 01:18:41,299
No one's stringing anyone up.
Not while I'm sheriff.
1054
01:18:41,383 --> 01:18:42,633
But this is all his fault!
1055
01:18:42,718 --> 01:18:45,094
You said you's gonna
bring the water back.
1056
01:18:45,179 --> 01:18:47,722
It's just, we got no hope
without that water.
1057
01:18:47,848 --> 01:18:49,724
We got nothing left to believe in.
1058
01:18:50,392 --> 01:18:51,976
You see that sign up there?
1059
01:18:52,686 --> 01:18:54,896
As long as that sign says "Sheriff,"
1060
01:18:55,022 --> 01:18:57,356
you can believe that there's
law and order in this town.
1061
01:18:57,483 --> 01:19:01,527
But without law and order,
ruminate on that. Oh, yeah.
1062
01:19:01,653 --> 01:19:04,822
Starts out slow, like a fungus.
1063
01:19:04,907 --> 01:19:07,575
Somebody says a cross word.
Accusations start flying.
1064
01:19:07,701 --> 01:19:10,495
Neighbour turns on neighbour.
Pretty soon, we're eating our children!
1065
01:19:10,579 --> 01:19:11,996
And then dogs and cats
are getting together
1066
01:19:12,081 --> 01:19:14,749
to create all sorts of unnatural
mutant aberrations!
1067
01:19:15,751 --> 01:19:19,378
So, you want something
to believe in, Spoons?
1068
01:19:19,755 --> 01:19:21,047
Believe in me.
1069
01:19:22,591 --> 01:19:24,592
Believe in that there sign.
1070
01:19:25,552 --> 01:19:29,055
For as long as it hangs there,
we got hope.
1071
01:19:54,456 --> 01:19:56,916
Hello, brother.
1072
01:19:57,209 --> 01:19:59,085
Thirsty?
1073
01:20:09,805 --> 01:20:14,308
Long time, brother.
How you been keeping?
1074
01:20:14,810 --> 01:20:16,477
Well, you know...
1075
01:20:18,939 --> 01:20:23,234
I hear you been telling about how
you killed all them Jenkins brothers.
1076
01:20:23,318 --> 01:20:25,987
With one bullet, wasn't it?
1077
01:20:26,113 --> 01:20:27,989
Isn't that right?
1078
01:20:28,115 --> 01:20:32,326
All these good folks here
believe your little stories, don't they?
1079
01:20:32,494 --> 01:20:36,247
Why, they believe you're just
a stone killer, don't they?
1080
01:20:36,331 --> 01:20:39,584
Seems these folks trust you.
1081
01:20:39,668 --> 01:20:42,753
They think you're gonna save
their little town.
1082
01:20:42,838 --> 01:20:46,340
They think you're gonna save
their little souls!
1083
01:20:50,345 --> 01:20:53,931
But we know better, don't we?
1084
01:20:59,479 --> 01:21:03,107
So why don't you show your friends here
what you're made of?
1085
01:21:03,192 --> 01:21:06,027
Show them who you really are.
1086
01:21:06,153 --> 01:21:09,155
Why don't you just pull your gun
and shoot me?
1087
01:21:09,281 --> 01:21:12,158
But, of course, you won't need all these.
1088
01:21:12,284 --> 01:21:14,202
Just one, right?
1089
01:21:16,496 --> 01:21:19,957
Go ahead, hero. Pull the trigger.
1090
01:21:23,003 --> 01:21:25,379
You got killer in your eyes, son?
1091
01:21:27,674 --> 01:21:28,841
I don't see it.
1092
01:21:32,054 --> 01:21:35,348
You didn't do any of them things
you said, did you?
1093
01:21:35,474 --> 01:21:39,477
You didn't kill them Jenkins brothers.
You ain't even from the West!
1094
01:21:39,561 --> 01:21:40,728
Are you?
1095
01:21:41,521 --> 01:21:44,148
-Say it!
-No.
1096
01:21:44,233 --> 01:21:48,361
Speak up.
I don't think your friends here heard you.
1097
01:21:49,988 --> 01:21:51,030
No.
1098
01:21:51,156 --> 01:21:53,658
All you've done is lie
to these good people.
1099
01:21:53,742 --> 01:21:57,995
You ain't nothing but a fake
and a coward. Isn't that right?
1100
01:21:58,247 --> 01:21:59,413
Yes.
1101
01:21:59,539 --> 01:22:01,249
-Louder!
-Yes.
1102
01:22:05,712 --> 01:22:08,881
Listen close, you pathetic fraud.
1103
01:22:09,007 --> 01:22:12,009
This is my town now.
1104
01:22:12,094 --> 01:22:16,555
If I ever see you again, I will take
your soul straight down to hell!
1105
01:22:33,448 --> 01:22:35,074
Who are you?
1106
01:24:31,733 --> 01:24:33,192
Who am I?
1107
01:24:35,362 --> 01:24:37,071
I'm nobody.
1108
01:26:31,311 --> 01:26:33,270
Golden guardians.
1109
01:26:35,190 --> 01:26:36,815
The alabaster carriage.
1110
01:26:41,821 --> 01:26:44,323
The Spirit of the West.
1111
01:26:48,787 --> 01:26:52,665
Excuse me? Mister Spirit, sir?
1112
01:26:55,168 --> 01:27:00,172
There's a beaut. Sometimes you got to
dig deep to find what you're looking for.
1113
01:27:01,841 --> 01:27:03,217
So you made it.
1114
01:27:04,177 --> 01:27:05,427
ls this heaven?
1115
01:27:05,512 --> 01:27:09,348
If it were, we'd be eating Pop-Tarts
with Kim Novak.
1116
01:27:09,558 --> 01:27:10,808
Yeah.
1117
01:27:10,976 --> 01:27:14,144
No kidding.
What are you doing out here?
1118
01:27:14,521 --> 01:27:16,522
Searching, same as you.
1119
01:27:17,482 --> 01:27:20,776
I don't even know
what I'm looking for any more.
1120
01:27:20,860 --> 01:27:22,820
I don't even know who I am.
1121
01:27:23,363 --> 01:27:25,864
They used to call you
the Man with No Name.
1122
01:27:27,200 --> 01:27:31,120
These days they got a name
forjust about everything.
1123
01:27:31,204 --> 01:27:35,499
Doesn't matter what they call you.
It's the deeds make the man.
1124
01:27:35,584 --> 01:27:39,378
Yeah, but my deeds just made things
worse. I'm a fraud. I'm a phoney!
1125
01:27:39,504 --> 01:27:43,382
My friends believed in me,
but they need some kind of hero.
1126
01:27:43,508 --> 01:27:45,175
Then be a hero.
1127
01:27:45,260 --> 01:27:49,179
No. No, no, you don't understand.
I'm not even supposed to be here.
1128
01:27:49,264 --> 01:27:53,517
That's right. You came a long way
to find something that isn't out here.
1129
01:27:54,561 --> 01:27:57,271
Don't you see? It's not about you.
1130
01:27:58,273 --> 01:27:59,857
It's about them.
1131
01:28:02,777 --> 01:28:04,194
But I can't go back.
1132
01:28:04,279 --> 01:28:06,697
Don't know that you got a choice, son.
1133
01:28:10,535 --> 01:28:13,287
No man can walk out on his own story.
1134
01:28:25,759 --> 01:28:27,468
So you made it.
1135
01:28:28,887 --> 01:28:32,765
That's right, amigo.
The other side of the road.
1136
01:28:35,226 --> 01:28:37,478
Did you just see that?
1137
01:28:37,896 --> 01:28:40,773
We each see what we need to see.
1138
01:28:41,775 --> 01:28:43,776
Beautiful, isn't it?
1139
01:28:55,789 --> 01:28:56,914
Yeah.
1140
01:28:57,999 --> 01:28:59,416
It is.
1141
01:28:59,959 --> 01:29:03,796
Come, my friend.
I want to show you something.
1142
01:29:06,800 --> 01:29:12,096
Many years ago,
this entire valley was covered in agua.
1143
01:29:12,180 --> 01:29:16,141
Now only one question remains.
1144
01:29:17,352 --> 01:29:18,936
Where did it go?
1145
01:29:53,888 --> 01:29:55,973
They follow the water.
1146
01:29:56,057 --> 01:29:59,184
They follow the water! Come on!
1147
01:30:34,053 --> 01:30:38,682
Thatjust don't make no sense.
Without water, that land is useless.
1148
01:30:39,392 --> 01:30:41,351
What are you building out here?
1149
01:30:41,436 --> 01:30:43,353
The future, Mr Rango.
1150
01:30:43,438 --> 01:30:48,025
You can either be part of it,
or you can be left behind.
1151
01:30:50,403 --> 01:30:53,280
l was here before the highway split
this great valley.
1152
01:30:56,367 --> 01:30:58,952
l watched the march of progress
1153
01:30:59,078 --> 01:31:01,330
and I learned a thing or two.
1154
01:31:06,628 --> 01:31:08,796
Control the water
1155
01:31:08,922 --> 01:31:11,298
and you control everything.
1156
01:31:18,139 --> 01:31:20,390
Come now, Mr Rango.
1157
01:31:20,475 --> 01:31:22,309
You attribute divine power to me.
1158
01:31:22,435 --> 01:31:24,978
How on earth
could I possibly control the water?
1159
01:32:01,891 --> 01:32:03,892
What now, amigo?
1160
01:32:11,526 --> 01:32:14,570
No man can walk out on his own story.
1161
01:32:16,155 --> 01:32:17,573
I'm going back.
1162
01:32:19,033 --> 01:32:20,409
But why?
1163
01:32:21,536 --> 01:32:23,537
Because that's who I am.
1164
01:32:35,675 --> 01:32:40,345
You got a lot of nerve showing up here,
lawman. What is it you want?
1165
01:32:41,389 --> 01:32:45,058
Your pappy and them boys are about
to hang for something they didn't do.
1166
01:32:46,519 --> 01:32:48,186
But I've got a plan.
1167
01:33:16,257 --> 01:33:19,092
I appreciate how difficult
this is for you, Beans.
1168
01:33:19,218 --> 01:33:22,179
But you're making a practical decision.
1169
01:33:22,263 --> 01:33:25,015
Decisions, decisions.
1170
01:33:25,099 --> 01:33:28,268
There's no need for any more suffering.
1171
01:33:34,776 --> 01:33:38,278
Your family's ranch is nothing
but a wasteland now.
1172
01:33:38,821 --> 01:33:43,575
Sign the deed and relieve yourself
of your father's burden.
1173
01:33:45,620 --> 01:33:48,455
My daddy was not a burden!
1174
01:33:48,581 --> 01:33:50,958
Keep your blood money
and I'll keep my land!
1175
01:33:57,090 --> 01:34:00,258
Do what he says or,
by all the fires of the black pit,
1176
01:34:00,343 --> 01:34:03,762
I'll squeeze them pretty brown eyes
out of your skull!
1177
01:34:04,514 --> 01:34:06,723
Now, hold on, Jake.
There's no need to...
1178
01:34:06,808 --> 01:34:09,142
Let me do my job! You brought me in.
1179
01:34:09,268 --> 01:34:11,812
Now we're gonna play this thing
out to the end!
1180
01:34:12,605 --> 01:34:15,107
Sign the damn paper, woman!
1181
01:34:15,316 --> 01:34:17,109
Go to hell!
1182
01:34:17,276 --> 01:34:19,611
Where do you think I come from?
1183
01:34:20,196 --> 01:34:22,531
Look into my eyes.
1184
01:34:22,615 --> 01:34:24,992
I want to see you die.
1185
01:34:30,123 --> 01:34:31,331
Jake!
1186
01:34:34,669 --> 01:34:36,670
I'm calling you out!
1187
01:34:38,965 --> 01:34:40,465
Jake!
1188
01:34:40,800 --> 01:34:45,178
This day
just got a little more interesting.
1189
01:35:12,415 --> 01:35:13,623
Put her down.
1190
01:35:13,708 --> 01:35:17,335
Or what, little man?
You going to kill me?
1191
01:35:17,420 --> 01:35:19,337
That's just about the size of it.
1192
01:35:22,008 --> 01:35:24,634
-Get your filthy paws off me!
-Shut your gob!
1193
01:35:24,719 --> 01:35:27,888
All right, Sheriff, make your move.
1194
01:37:00,148 --> 01:37:01,648
Now, amigos!
1195
01:37:06,195 --> 01:37:08,864
-Heave! Heave!
-Heave! Heave!
1196
01:37:26,799 --> 01:37:29,050
That was a bad idea.
1197
01:37:33,472 --> 01:37:34,514
Thirsty, brother?
1198
01:37:38,227 --> 01:37:40,353
Here it comes!
1199
01:37:42,148 --> 01:37:43,190
No. No!
1200
01:37:47,570 --> 01:37:48,820
It's a miracle!
1201
01:37:48,988 --> 01:37:50,363
Look out!
1202
01:37:57,496 --> 01:37:59,164
-Lookee there!
-What is that?
1203
01:38:01,083 --> 01:38:02,500
It's our salvation, Pa!
1204
01:38:02,585 --> 01:38:05,712
It's a jailbreak, boys! We're busting out!
1205
01:38:15,932 --> 01:38:20,018
I'm gonna blow so many holes in you,
your guts'll be leaking lead!
1206
01:38:20,102 --> 01:38:22,854
Well, then
it's a good thing I brought some backup.
1207
01:38:34,116 --> 01:38:35,200
What?
1208
01:38:38,955 --> 01:38:40,830
Ain't no hawk.
1209
01:38:40,915 --> 01:38:43,375
Ain't nothing but bats!
1210
01:38:45,544 --> 01:38:49,798
Stick to the plan, boys!
Let's bleed that devil dry!
1211
01:39:01,227 --> 01:39:03,395
It only takes one bullet.
1212
01:39:03,479 --> 01:39:05,605
You ain't got the nerve.
1213
01:39:06,774 --> 01:39:08,233
Try me.
1214
01:39:12,571 --> 01:39:14,239
Oh, Mr Rango.
1215
01:39:14,907 --> 01:39:16,574
Aren't you forgetting something?
1216
01:39:21,831 --> 01:39:23,790
Hand me your gun, Sheriff.
1217
01:39:26,669 --> 01:39:28,461
Now, Mr Rango.
1218
01:39:40,599 --> 01:39:42,934
Beans! Hold on.
Don't worry, I got a plan.
1219
01:39:43,853 --> 01:39:45,979
Help!
1220
01:39:46,105 --> 01:39:48,440
Open the door!
1221
01:39:49,025 --> 01:39:50,525
Okay, plan B.
1222
01:39:51,694 --> 01:39:52,819
Beans, you're mumbling.
1223
01:39:53,362 --> 01:39:57,532
All my problems taken care of
except for one.
1224
01:39:58,200 --> 01:39:59,326
It's a new West, Jake.
1225
01:39:59,452 --> 01:40:03,788
There's no room for gunslingers
any more. We're businessmen now.
1226
01:40:03,873 --> 01:40:05,623
Yeah, we got new hats.
1227
01:40:05,708 --> 01:40:09,336
Where I come from,
we call this improvisation.
1228
01:40:10,713 --> 01:40:12,464
You came back.
1229
01:40:20,681 --> 01:40:21,890
What was that?
1230
01:40:21,974 --> 01:40:24,559
No need to panic,
but I think you just swallowed plan B.
1231
01:40:24,685 --> 01:40:25,810
What?
1232
01:40:27,396 --> 01:40:28,938
Okay, panic time.
1233
01:40:29,023 --> 01:40:31,983
You and the Sheriff are more alike
than you think.
1234
01:40:32,068 --> 01:40:33,902
You're nothing but legends.
1235
01:40:33,986 --> 01:40:37,739
Pretty soon,
no one will believe you even existed.
1236
01:40:40,993 --> 01:40:43,578
One last bullet to kill one last outlaw.
1237
01:40:45,915 --> 01:40:47,665
How fitting.
1238
01:41:21,909 --> 01:41:24,077
Sheriff, I'm sure if we work together,
1239
01:41:24,203 --> 01:41:28,331
we can reach a mutually beneficial
solution to our current situation.
1240
01:41:28,416 --> 01:41:30,708
You better take it up with him.
1241
01:41:41,929 --> 01:41:43,721
One bullet.
1242
01:41:45,099 --> 01:41:47,434
I tip my hat to you,
1243
01:41:47,560 --> 01:41:50,437
one legend to another.
1244
01:41:52,273 --> 01:41:54,482
What was that you said?
1245
01:41:54,567 --> 01:41:59,279
"Pretty soon,
no one will believe you even existed."
1246
01:41:59,447 --> 01:42:01,573
No, Jake! No!
1247
01:42:13,919 --> 01:42:15,295
Rango!
1248
01:42:16,755 --> 01:42:20,550
You brought the water back,
just like you promised.
1249
01:42:20,634 --> 01:42:22,302
You really are a hero.
1250
01:42:23,596 --> 01:42:26,764
Well, the thing about heroes is,
whenever you...
1251
01:42:26,849 --> 01:42:28,641
Don't spoil it.
1252
01:42:28,767 --> 01:42:29,976
Right.
1253
01:42:30,478 --> 01:42:33,771
Well, I don't know about you all,
but I could sure go for a dip.
1254
01:42:37,276 --> 01:42:40,195
And so the lizard completes his journey
1255
01:42:40,279 --> 01:42:44,324
from humble beginnings
to the legend we sing of today.
1256
01:42:44,450 --> 01:42:49,120
And although he is certain to die,
perhaps from a household accident,
1257
01:42:49,205 --> 01:42:52,248
which account
for 65% of all unnatural deaths,
1258
01:42:52,333 --> 01:42:55,793
the people of the village
will honour his memory
1259
01:42:55,961 --> 01:42:59,130
even as they abandon their dignity.
1260
01:43:06,680 --> 01:43:09,057
-I'm going in.
-How about a cold one, there?
1261
01:43:09,141 --> 01:43:11,184
Water ain't money. Money is money.
1262
01:43:11,310 --> 01:43:13,895
-Well, I ain't got no...
-We're talking hard cash.
1263
01:43:14,521 --> 01:43:15,772
We have a problem.
1264
01:43:15,856 --> 01:43:18,524
Who let Snuggles in the pool again?
1265
01:43:18,651 --> 01:43:21,069
I really think you complete me.
1266
01:43:21,153 --> 01:43:23,363
Prithee, unhand my fair maiden.
1267
01:43:23,489 --> 01:43:26,574
-Cut. Cut. Everybody, take five.
-How can you keep missing your mark?
1268
01:43:26,659 --> 01:43:27,700
What's my motivation?
1269
01:43:29,536 --> 01:43:31,037
Oh, you kids.
1270
01:43:31,163 --> 01:43:32,997
What did you do that for?
1271
01:43:33,082 --> 01:43:35,541
I was just checking.
I hear if you get too sunburnt,
1272
01:43:35,668 --> 01:43:37,418
you can peel a man's face right off.
1273
01:43:37,503 --> 01:43:39,087
-What is it?
-That there's some human spleen.
1274
01:43:39,171 --> 01:43:40,255
Don't touch it.
1275
01:43:40,339 --> 01:43:41,923
That's the second time
that's happened to me.
1276
01:43:42,007 --> 01:43:43,591
This water thing's great.
1277
01:43:43,676 --> 01:43:45,176
I'm urinating right now.
1278
01:43:45,261 --> 01:43:48,388
Adult swim, next five minutes.
1279
01:43:48,514 --> 01:43:50,848
Stay between the buoys.
1280
01:43:50,933 --> 01:43:52,267
I packed your lunch. Danish is in there
1281
01:43:52,351 --> 01:43:54,060
and I picked the raisins out
just the way you like it.
1282
01:43:54,186 --> 01:43:56,187
Don't forget, your nasal spray is
in your saddle-bag...
1283
01:43:56,272 --> 01:43:57,897
-Beans!
-...and your moisturising lotion...
1284
01:43:58,023 --> 01:44:00,233
-Now, Beans! We've talked about this.
-Lotion?
1285
01:44:00,359 --> 01:44:03,069
That's for my gun. That's gun lotion.
1286
01:44:03,237 --> 01:44:04,779
Sheriff, where are you headed?
1287
01:44:04,863 --> 01:44:07,782
There's trouble down a dry creek.
Bad Bill's been acting up again.
1288
01:44:07,866 --> 01:44:09,742
Now, honey, you come back
with all your digits.
1289
01:44:09,868 --> 01:44:11,202
And don't go trying to be a hero.
1290
01:44:11,287 --> 01:44:12,745
Beans, you are missing the point.
1291
01:44:12,871 --> 01:44:15,206
I got an image to protect now.
1292
01:44:16,292 --> 01:44:17,875
Where's my Tic Tacs?
1293
01:44:19,211 --> 01:44:21,129
-I found them.
-What's going on?
1294
01:44:21,213 --> 01:44:24,132
Well, in order to satisfy the needs
of the collective,
1295
01:44:24,216 --> 01:44:26,009
the hero must abandon the self
1296
01:44:26,093 --> 01:44:30,054
and solidify his image as an icon
that will forever be remembered.
1297
01:44:30,889 --> 01:44:33,266
So, this is the sunset shot.
1298
01:44:41,734 --> 01:44:43,776
Give them a good one, amigo.
1299
01:44:53,245 --> 01:44:54,787
Ready, Excelsior?
1300
01:44:55,080 --> 01:44:57,040
My fellow comrades.
1301
01:44:57,124 --> 01:44:59,792
There will be times
when you doubt yourself.
1302
01:44:59,877 --> 01:45:03,087
When you feel pummelled
by the cataclysms of life,
1303
01:45:03,505 --> 01:45:07,050
remember this moment.
Remember me.
1304
01:45:07,593 --> 01:45:10,386
Know that I will be there watching you,
1305
01:45:10,596 --> 01:45:13,431
sometimes at inappropriate moments.
1306
01:45:13,724 --> 01:45:16,059
That's part of the deal.
1307
01:45:16,143 --> 01:45:19,604
And remember, within all of us resides
1308
01:45:19,938 --> 01:45:22,690
the true Spirit of the...