1 00:00:04,963 --> 00:00:07,215 MAN: I don't have custody of the kids I don't get custody. 2 00:00:07,383 --> 00:00:09,050 WOMAN: It is pathetic what I've had to go through 3 00:00:09,218 --> 00:00:11,052 MAN: Right now, she doesn't know where the kids are. 4 00:00:11,220 --> 00:00:12,553 WOMAN: Do not talk about me as a mother 5 00:00:12,721 --> 00:00:13,763 MAN: Are they home? 6 00:00:13,931 --> 00:00:15,932 WOMAN: I'm so sick to death of you talking about me as a mother. 7 00:00:16,100 --> 00:00:17,934 MAN: They're probably at a firehouse somewhere 8 00:00:18,102 --> 00:00:19,352 WOMAN: Do not talk about that. 9 00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:21,521 I'm sick of you accusing me of not being a good mother. 10 00:00:21,689 --> 00:00:23,272 MAN: Are they home? WOMAN: I've been a good mother! 11 00:00:23,440 --> 00:00:25,108 MAN: A perfect mother? I can't have custody. 12 00:00:25,275 --> 00:00:26,901 WOMAN: Just remember how you-- MAN: Right now. 13 00:00:27,069 --> 00:00:28,111 Where is Tim right now? 14 00:00:28,278 --> 00:00:29,612 WOMAN: Don't you talk about me being a mother. 15 00:00:29,780 --> 00:00:31,698 -I hate you! MAN: Hey, I got an idea. 16 00:00:31,865 --> 00:00:34,117 Why don't you just kiss my left nut? 17 00:00:34,284 --> 00:00:36,411 -I told you this was a bad idea. JEREMY: You know what, Ken? 18 00:00:36,578 --> 00:00:39,122 A bad idea would be to let your client walk out of here today... 19 00:00:39,289 --> 00:00:43,418 ...and drag this thing out for another year, wasting more time and more money. 20 00:00:43,585 --> 00:00:46,129 The only good idea is to let me and John do our job... 21 00:00:46,296 --> 00:00:47,797 ...and mediate this thing right here. 22 00:00:47,965 --> 00:00:49,549 You wanna hear the crazy thing? 23 00:00:49,717 --> 00:00:51,968 I know it doesn't feel like it, but we're making progress. 24 00:00:52,136 --> 00:00:54,637 JEREMY: Mm-hm. -We settled the deal with the cars. 25 00:00:54,805 --> 00:00:57,098 That takes us to frequent-flyer miles. We're flying. 26 00:00:57,266 --> 00:00:58,474 KROEGER: Those are mine. -I want them. 27 00:00:58,642 --> 00:01:00,476 We're gonna split them right down the middle. 28 00:01:00,644 --> 00:01:02,061 How'd that be, Mr. Kroeger? 29 00:01:02,229 --> 00:01:05,481 It would be not good at all. I earned those miles. 30 00:01:05,649 --> 00:01:07,984 Yeah, you earned them flying to Denver to meet your whore. 31 00:01:08,152 --> 00:01:09,152 Oh, Lord. 32 00:01:09,319 --> 00:01:11,821 Well, she's not afraid to express herself sexually. 33 00:01:11,989 --> 00:01:13,406 She is a stripper, for God's sake! 34 00:01:13,574 --> 00:01:16,075 -She is not. -Her name is Chastity. 35 00:01:16,243 --> 00:01:18,828 She is white trash. Same as you. 36 00:01:18,996 --> 00:01:20,163 Hillbilly. 37 00:01:20,748 --> 00:01:22,957 That's it, go comatose for me, baby. 38 00:01:23,125 --> 00:01:26,252 You shut your mouth when you're talking to me. 39 00:01:26,879 --> 00:01:28,838 Hold it. This is getting confusing. 40 00:01:29,006 --> 00:01:31,090 You didn't always hate each other. 41 00:01:31,258 --> 00:01:33,676 There had to be nice moments, during the courtship, maybe? 42 00:01:33,844 --> 00:01:36,137 -Or the wedding? -The wedding had to be fun. 43 00:01:36,305 --> 00:01:38,097 -You have your families. -Your decorations. 44 00:01:38,265 --> 00:01:40,391 Families coming together. That's a nice moment. 45 00:01:40,559 --> 00:01:42,518 -What'd you have to eat? -Crab cakes. 46 00:01:42,686 --> 00:01:45,605 Are you kidding me? How could you not have a good time? 47 00:01:45,773 --> 00:01:48,357 -I love them. They're phenomenal. -And did you have a band? 48 00:01:48,525 --> 00:01:49,984 -Yeah. JOHN: Good or bad? 49 00:01:50,152 --> 00:01:52,987 Who gives a shit? It's a great band, a bad band, it's like pizza, baby. 50 00:01:53,155 --> 00:01:54,781 It's good no matter what. There's music! 51 00:01:54,948 --> 00:01:57,533 You get them playing "Shout" and you hate it. 52 00:01:57,701 --> 00:01:59,660 [SINGING THE ISLEY BROTHERS' "SHOUT"] 53 00:02:02,164 --> 00:02:03,623 JEREMY: It's a good time, know what I mean? 54 00:02:03,791 --> 00:02:06,209 Rubbing up against each other, a couple of kids who like to fuck... 55 00:02:06,376 --> 00:02:07,877 ...trying to make it honest. I get it. 56 00:02:08,253 --> 00:02:12,006 Guys, the real enemy here is the institution of marriage. 57 00:02:12,174 --> 00:02:14,300 It's not realistic, it's crazy. 58 00:02:14,468 --> 00:02:15,968 Don't do this for the other person. 59 00:02:16,136 --> 00:02:18,679 -Say yes to yourself and your future. -Say yes. 60 00:02:18,847 --> 00:02:22,099 Have some opportunities for yourself. I'm sure you'd love to be free... 61 00:02:22,267 --> 00:02:24,727 ...maybe go out and meet some Latin guy that can dance... 62 00:02:24,895 --> 00:02:27,897 ...grind up on you, make you feel dangerous but also safe. 63 00:02:28,065 --> 00:02:30,066 And you? Don't you wanna get inside Chastity... 64 00:02:30,234 --> 00:02:32,151 ...without wondering if anyone's gonna find out? 65 00:02:32,319 --> 00:02:34,320 JOHN: Wouldn't that be sweet? JEREMY: Wouldn't that be nice? 66 00:02:34,488 --> 00:02:36,531 And have some Latin guy sweating all over you... 67 00:02:36,698 --> 00:02:38,491 ...talking to you in languages you don't understand... 68 00:02:38,659 --> 00:02:40,409 ...needing you, wanting you, taking you? 69 00:02:40,577 --> 00:02:43,204 All we're trying to say is... 70 00:02:43,372 --> 00:02:45,456 ...put your swords away for a second. 71 00:02:45,624 --> 00:02:48,292 Let's finish this and let's move on. 72 00:02:48,460 --> 00:02:50,711 Get out there and get some strange ass. 73 00:02:51,505 --> 00:02:54,006 Could you give her a glass of water so she can take that? 74 00:02:58,887 --> 00:03:02,098 Hey, John, that's weird. That glass looks half full to me. 75 00:03:02,266 --> 00:03:06,269 Wow, now that you mention it, it is half full. 76 00:03:08,438 --> 00:03:10,773 He can have the miles. 77 00:03:10,941 --> 00:03:14,360 No, sweetie, you take the miles. 78 00:03:14,528 --> 00:03:17,822 Great. Great! Let's sign the paperwork and we are done. 79 00:03:17,990 --> 00:03:20,783 This is just semantics. You guys wanna throw a couple miles at us... 80 00:03:20,951 --> 00:03:23,536 ...we'll take a couple. The big thing is that we're all moving on. 81 00:03:23,912 --> 00:03:26,205 Could you two just not talk anymore? 82 00:03:39,678 --> 00:03:41,888 Oh, good, you got it. Is it 1 00 percent goose down? 83 00:03:42,055 --> 00:03:43,931 -Yes. Why do you need this? -Are you sure? 84 00:03:44,099 --> 00:03:46,642 I sleep over at John's house every year for his birthday. 85 00:03:46,810 --> 00:03:48,728 Okay, that's not creepy. 86 00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:50,813 I guess it is a little creepy... 87 00:03:50,981 --> 00:03:53,816 ...when a young man who happens to be an only child... 88 00:03:53,984 --> 00:03:58,321 ...loses both of his parents in a tragic accident one month before his birthday... 89 00:03:58,488 --> 00:04:00,281 ...and then has a best friend make a vow... 90 00:04:00,449 --> 00:04:03,326 ...that he will never spend his birthday alone again. 91 00:04:03,577 --> 00:04:06,495 Maybe that would fall under the category of creepy. 92 00:04:06,663 --> 00:04:09,081 Oh, my God. I'm so sorry. 93 00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:11,792 -That's okay. -No, you're really sweet. 94 00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:13,628 I've got the perfect girl for you. 95 00:04:14,504 --> 00:04:16,797 Janice, I apologize to you if I don't seem real eager... 96 00:04:16,965 --> 00:04:19,926 ...to jump into a forced, awkward intimate situation... 97 00:04:20,093 --> 00:04:22,511 ...that people like to call dating. I don't like the feeling. 98 00:04:22,679 --> 00:04:24,972 You're wondering, "Do I have food on my face? Am I eating? 99 00:04:25,140 --> 00:04:27,183 Am I talking too much? Are they talking enough? 100 00:04:27,351 --> 00:04:29,685 Should I play like I'm interested? I'm not that interested. 101 00:04:29,853 --> 00:04:31,854 She might be interested. Do I want to be interested? 102 00:04:32,022 --> 00:04:35,358 Now she's not interested. So now, all of sudden, I'm starting to get interested." 103 00:04:35,525 --> 00:04:37,526 When am I supposed to kiss her? Do I wait for the door? 104 00:04:37,694 --> 00:04:40,613 Then it's awkward. It's like, "Good night." Do you do the ass-out hug? 105 00:04:40,781 --> 00:04:42,531 Where you, like, hug each other like this... 106 00:04:42,699 --> 00:04:44,659 ...and the ass sticks out because you're trying not to get too close. 107 00:04:44,826 --> 00:04:47,119 Do you kiss them on the lips? Or don't kiss them at all? 108 00:04:47,287 --> 00:04:49,038 It's very difficult to read the situation. 109 00:04:49,206 --> 00:04:51,874 All the while you're wondering, "Are we gonna get hopped up enough... 110 00:04:52,042 --> 00:04:53,292 ...to make some bad decisions?" 111 00:04:53,460 --> 00:04:55,753 And perhaps play a little game called Just the Tip. 112 00:04:55,921 --> 00:04:57,755 Just for a second, just to see how it feels. 113 00:04:57,923 --> 00:04:59,632 Or Ouch, Ouch, You're on My Hair. 114 00:05:00,175 --> 00:05:01,634 Okay. 115 00:05:01,802 --> 00:05:04,887 Okay, can you--? Can you put that so he can't see it? And thank you. 116 00:05:05,055 --> 00:05:08,015 Hey, Janice. Great talk. 117 00:05:09,559 --> 00:05:10,559 [PHONE BEEPS] 118 00:05:10,727 --> 00:05:11,769 -John? -Yeah? 119 00:05:11,937 --> 00:05:13,562 I gotta see you right away, it's important. 120 00:05:15,607 --> 00:05:17,400 What's going on? 121 00:05:19,569 --> 00:05:21,570 We got three really big weeks ahead of us. 122 00:05:22,239 --> 00:05:25,700 -It's wedding season, kid. -You sandbagging son of a bitch. 123 00:05:25,867 --> 00:05:27,576 I got us down for 1 7 of them already. 124 00:05:27,744 --> 00:05:28,911 Okay, how many are cash bars? 125 00:05:29,079 --> 00:05:31,956 Great question, love where your head's at, and two of them actually are. 126 00:05:32,124 --> 00:05:34,917 But I got us covered. 127 00:05:36,044 --> 00:05:38,754 Purple Hearts. We won't have to pay for a drink all night. 128 00:05:38,922 --> 00:05:40,506 Oh, yeah. Perfect. 129 00:05:40,674 --> 00:05:43,259 We are gonna have tons of opportunities to meet gorgeous ladies... 130 00:05:43,427 --> 00:05:46,762 ...that are so aroused by marriage, they'll throw their inhibitions to the wind. 131 00:05:46,930 --> 00:05:48,222 Who's gonna be there to catch them? 132 00:05:48,390 --> 00:05:50,599 Grab that net and catch that beautiful butterfly, pal. 133 00:05:50,767 --> 00:05:52,935 What do you like better? Christmas or wedding season? 134 00:05:53,103 --> 00:05:56,105 -Mr. Grey. -Yes, um, the answer would be... 135 00:05:56,273 --> 00:05:57,773 ...wedding season? 136 00:05:57,941 --> 00:06:01,027 Bingo. I'm gonna go get my suit. Oh, now, who are we this time? 137 00:06:01,194 --> 00:06:03,195 [SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY] 138 00:06:07,075 --> 00:06:10,286 Hey, Lou Epstein, I want you to meet a real mensch, Chuck Schwartz. 139 00:06:10,454 --> 00:06:11,954 Oh, stop. 140 00:06:19,421 --> 00:06:23,090 And as we carry on the tradition of thousands of years... 141 00:06:23,258 --> 00:06:25,384 ...we honor the eternal bond... 142 00:06:25,552 --> 00:06:27,803 ...that stretches through the ages. 143 00:06:28,597 --> 00:06:31,307 I have known this couple for many years. 144 00:06:31,641 --> 00:06:34,810 Deborah I've actually known for her entire life. 145 00:06:35,604 --> 00:06:39,148 I was at her house when her parents brought her home from the hospital... 146 00:06:39,316 --> 00:06:42,985 ...and I was there the day she graduated from medical school. 147 00:06:43,153 --> 00:06:45,654 Josh I have known since his bar mitzvah... 148 00:06:46,364 --> 00:06:52,161 ...which those of you who were there know it was not a very pretty sight. 149 00:06:52,329 --> 00:06:55,122 But he has pulled himself together nicely... 150 00:06:55,290 --> 00:06:59,585 ...and he's grown into a remarkable young man himself. 151 00:06:59,753 --> 00:07:01,754 -Okay. RABBI: He never got the courage... 152 00:07:01,922 --> 00:07:07,426 ...to ask her out, until 1 0 years later, Josh was in the emergency room... 153 00:07:07,594 --> 00:07:09,428 ...and he saw Deborah again... 154 00:07:09,596 --> 00:07:11,180 -...and he said to himself: - [WHISPERING] Hi. 155 00:07:11,348 --> 00:07:14,517 RABBI: "Wait. That's the girl I'm going to marry." 156 00:07:14,684 --> 00:07:18,521 I now pronounce you man and wife. 157 00:07:19,272 --> 00:07:21,899 BOTH: Mazel tov! 158 00:07:22,067 --> 00:07:26,195 Mazel tov, baby! From my family to yours, mazel tov. Beautiful. 159 00:07:26,363 --> 00:07:28,364 [PLAYING "HAVA NAGILA"] 160 00:07:33,036 --> 00:07:35,037 [SINGING "HAVA NAGILA"] 161 00:07:39,501 --> 00:07:40,876 [SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY AND LAUGHING] 162 00:07:41,044 --> 00:07:42,753 Oh, my yarmulke fell off! 163 00:07:42,921 --> 00:07:45,381 You sly son of a bitch. 164 00:07:45,882 --> 00:07:47,883 [LAUGHING] 165 00:07:49,636 --> 00:07:51,637 [SINGING "HAVA NAGILA"] 166 00:07:52,556 --> 00:07:55,057 Does anyone know what this here is used for? 167 00:07:55,225 --> 00:07:58,727 -Rolling a fatty. -No, not for-- Where'd you learn that? 168 00:07:58,895 --> 00:08:00,563 You want to get a whole combination. 169 00:08:00,730 --> 00:08:02,565 Get the frostings in the middle and the end. 170 00:08:02,732 --> 00:08:04,108 [HUMMING] 171 00:08:04,276 --> 00:08:07,736 That's it, that's it, that's it! Come on! 172 00:08:07,904 --> 00:08:12,658 You both look beautiful up there today, particularly Debbie in that white dress. 173 00:08:12,826 --> 00:08:15,744 Enjoy it. After tomorrow, I don't think you're gonna be able to get away... 174 00:08:15,912 --> 00:08:18,205 ...with wearing a white dress. 175 00:08:18,373 --> 00:08:22,585 Here, I'll just pick this off, I'll go grab another piece. That's it. 176 00:08:24,337 --> 00:08:26,338 [CHILDREN GASPING AND OOHING] 177 00:08:27,257 --> 00:08:28,591 In the words of the old country.... 178 00:08:28,758 --> 00:08:29,758 [SPEAKS IN HEBREW] 179 00:08:29,926 --> 00:08:31,552 [ALL SPEAK IN HEBREW] 180 00:08:31,720 --> 00:08:32,761 [BAND PLAYING JAZZ MUSIC] 181 00:08:32,929 --> 00:08:34,263 Ooh. 182 00:08:41,438 --> 00:08:43,105 Come here! 183 00:08:43,273 --> 00:08:44,940 I want you to take this note to that blond girl. 184 00:08:45,108 --> 00:08:47,568 Hurry, because I'm gonna time you. Go! 185 00:08:49,738 --> 00:08:50,779 Hi. 186 00:08:52,741 --> 00:08:54,783 Who gave this to you? 187 00:08:56,119 --> 00:08:57,494 [JAZZ MUSIC PLAYS OVER SPEAKERS] 188 00:08:57,662 --> 00:08:59,747 You know, I saw you at the wedding. 189 00:08:59,915 --> 00:09:01,749 -And? -You were crying. 190 00:09:01,917 --> 00:09:05,294 Oh, shit. You weren't supposed to see that. Now you probably think I'm a big pussy. 191 00:09:05,462 --> 00:09:08,756 No, you were so sweet. Come here. 192 00:09:09,382 --> 00:09:12,468 Look, I knew I was never gonna be a professional bullfighter... 193 00:09:12,636 --> 00:09:15,638 -...but that's not why I did it. -Weren't you scared? 194 00:09:15,805 --> 00:09:17,848 Can I say yes? 195 00:09:28,902 --> 00:09:30,778 -Sanjay Collins. -Chuck Vindaloo. 196 00:09:30,946 --> 00:09:32,279 Excited to be here. 197 00:09:32,906 --> 00:09:34,615 -Shamus O'Toole. -Bobby O'Shea. 198 00:09:34,783 --> 00:09:36,825 -I'm ready to get drunk. -Ha, ha. 199 00:09:36,993 --> 00:09:38,994 [DANCE MUSIC PLAYS OVER SPEAKERS] 200 00:09:39,913 --> 00:09:42,748 -Who is that? -Ah, him. 201 00:09:42,916 --> 00:09:46,001 I think that's his kid Leonard. The diabetic. 202 00:09:46,169 --> 00:09:47,169 WOMAN: Who is that? 203 00:09:47,337 --> 00:09:50,923 That's Luigi and Gina's son Christopher. You know, the banker. 204 00:09:51,091 --> 00:09:55,761 Oh, that's Mae Lin's adopted son Benny, the veterinarian. 205 00:09:55,929 --> 00:09:58,722 -The French Foreign Legion? -Yeah. 206 00:09:58,890 --> 00:10:01,183 We lost a lot of good men out there. 207 00:10:01,351 --> 00:10:04,353 Wow, really? Mount Everest? 208 00:10:04,521 --> 00:10:08,023 I just don't like to talk about it because we lost so many good men out there. 209 00:10:08,191 --> 00:10:09,275 Oh. 210 00:10:09,442 --> 00:10:11,819 Lost so many good men out there. 211 00:10:11,987 --> 00:10:14,363 WOMAN: Playing with the Yankees? 212 00:10:14,990 --> 00:10:16,573 Yes, with the Yankees. 213 00:10:16,741 --> 00:10:19,535 You lose good men to trades and unruly fans. 214 00:10:19,703 --> 00:10:22,538 I-- Look, I don't want to talk about it, I'm sorry. 215 00:10:24,833 --> 00:10:26,375 It's just a matter of trying to get it down. 216 00:10:26,543 --> 00:10:29,837 Tattoo on the lower back. Might as well be a bull's-eye. 217 00:10:30,380 --> 00:10:33,966 You know how they say we only use 1 0 percent of our brains? 218 00:10:35,427 --> 00:10:38,053 I think we only use 1 0 percent of our hearts. 219 00:10:38,805 --> 00:10:41,056 I feel so tiny in your arms. 220 00:10:41,224 --> 00:10:44,310 Really? How tall are you? 221 00:10:44,477 --> 00:10:47,896 I'm 6'5", but I feel like I'm 4 feet. 222 00:10:48,398 --> 00:10:53,444 And some poetry, courtesy of Sarah McLachlan. 223 00:10:58,158 --> 00:11:00,159 [THE ISLEY BROTHERS' "SHOUT" PLAYS OVER SPEAKERS] 224 00:11:09,753 --> 00:11:11,754 [ALL SINGING] 225 00:11:24,768 --> 00:11:25,768 Beautiful! 226 00:11:30,065 --> 00:11:31,732 The bride! 227 00:11:31,900 --> 00:11:34,068 All right, let's go, let's go, let's make a memory! 228 00:11:34,235 --> 00:11:37,112 What are you gonna do for an encore? Walk on water? 229 00:11:37,280 --> 00:11:38,739 Great guy. He brung me along too. 230 00:11:38,907 --> 00:11:40,908 [LAUGHING] 231 00:11:43,536 --> 00:11:46,580 -Jesus. Come on. You ruined it. JOHN: Come on. Get in there. 232 00:11:46,748 --> 00:11:49,792 You butchered the whole damn cake! You don't treat cake like that. 233 00:11:50,001 --> 00:11:52,044 -You gotta treat cake like a lady. -Look at that. 234 00:11:52,212 --> 00:11:53,796 Oh, I meant in front of all of them. 235 00:11:53,963 --> 00:11:55,422 [CHORTLING] 236 00:12:00,887 --> 00:12:03,472 And then everyone said, "Jabroni!" 237 00:12:03,640 --> 00:12:05,474 [ALL LAUGHING] 238 00:12:05,642 --> 00:12:08,769 Jabroni! This fucking guy, unbelievable! 239 00:12:08,937 --> 00:12:10,646 Pop it in. 240 00:12:12,065 --> 00:12:13,565 Now spread it around on each other. 241 00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:15,567 We need a picture of this. They're crazy! 242 00:12:15,735 --> 00:12:17,736 [SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE] 243 00:12:20,323 --> 00:12:22,991 Time to party! Time to party! 244 00:12:23,159 --> 00:12:25,869 Come on, get a picture, get a picture, get a picture. 245 00:12:46,599 --> 00:12:47,808 Hot. 246 00:13:50,955 --> 00:13:52,956 [LAUGHING AND MOANING] 247 00:13:55,251 --> 00:13:56,793 Oh, no, no. 248 00:13:56,961 --> 00:13:58,420 Oh, I'm sorry. 249 00:13:58,588 --> 00:14:01,590 Sarah, I feel like I don't even know you. 250 00:14:01,841 --> 00:14:03,884 It's Vivian. 251 00:14:07,722 --> 00:14:11,767 Would you say you're completely full of shit or just 50 percent? 252 00:14:12,685 --> 00:14:15,103 I hope just 50, but who knows? 253 00:14:32,497 --> 00:14:35,082 JEREMY: Bet that blond was a real shot of life. 254 00:14:35,250 --> 00:14:37,709 Yeah, real shot. 255 00:14:39,837 --> 00:14:41,421 You don't think we're being-- 256 00:14:41,589 --> 00:14:43,840 I don't wanna say sleazy, because that's not the right word... 257 00:14:44,008 --> 00:14:46,885 ...but a little irresponsible? I mean, you know? 258 00:14:47,053 --> 00:14:49,096 No. 259 00:14:49,264 --> 00:14:52,140 One day, you'll look back on all this and laugh... 260 00:14:52,308 --> 00:14:53,809 ...say we were young and stupid. 261 00:14:53,977 --> 00:14:55,727 [CHUCKLING] 262 00:14:55,895 --> 00:14:58,939 A couple of dumb kids running around. 263 00:14:59,983 --> 00:15:01,984 We're not that young. 264 00:15:16,583 --> 00:15:18,166 Hell of a season, pal. 265 00:15:18,334 --> 00:15:20,335 JOHN: Hell of a season. 266 00:15:27,343 --> 00:15:29,636 Oh, baba ganoush. 267 00:15:29,804 --> 00:15:31,346 What do we got? 268 00:15:32,223 --> 00:15:33,348 Christmas come early. 269 00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:37,603 JOHN: Secretary Cleary? JEREMY: Secretary of the treasury. 270 00:15:37,770 --> 00:15:40,439 The guy you loved since business school. Don't thank me. 271 00:15:40,607 --> 00:15:42,482 I don't know. I thought the season was over. 272 00:15:42,650 --> 00:15:44,943 I was looking forward to taking a break for a little bit. 273 00:15:45,111 --> 00:15:48,447 John, what are you talking about? This is the Kentucky Derby of weddings. 274 00:15:48,615 --> 00:15:50,657 It's the Clearys. They're an American institution. 275 00:15:50,825 --> 00:15:54,369 Pal, there's gonna be over 200 single women at this wedding. 276 00:15:54,537 --> 00:15:56,455 Not to mention, they got three live bands... 277 00:15:56,623 --> 00:15:59,333 ...they got oysters, snacks, phenomenal finger food. 278 00:15:59,500 --> 00:16:02,961 I'm tired, okay? My feet hurt. My voice is hoarse. 279 00:16:03,129 --> 00:16:05,339 Oh, please don't take a turn to negative town. 280 00:16:05,506 --> 00:16:07,174 What? Who's getting negative? 281 00:16:07,342 --> 00:16:10,010 At the Buckner nuptials you were sitting and sulking in the corner. 282 00:16:10,178 --> 00:16:12,512 I wasn't sulking. I twisted my ankle. 283 00:16:12,680 --> 00:16:15,557 Rule number 6: Do not sit in the corner and sulk. 284 00:16:15,725 --> 00:16:17,893 It draws attention to you in a negative way. 285 00:16:18,061 --> 00:16:20,479 Draw attention to yourself, but on your own terms. 286 00:16:20,647 --> 00:16:22,314 Don't quote the rules to me, I know them. 287 00:16:22,482 --> 00:16:26,193 When Chazz Reinhold passed the sacred rules of wedding crashing onto us... 288 00:16:26,361 --> 00:16:29,529 ... 1 2 years ago, he gave us a legacy. 289 00:16:29,697 --> 00:16:31,073 You make it sound like a cult. 290 00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:33,659 From everything you told me about him, he sounds like a kook. 291 00:16:33,826 --> 00:16:36,662 You bite your tongue. Chazz Reinhold is not a kook. 292 00:16:36,829 --> 00:16:39,373 He is a brave and a decent man. He is a pioneer. 293 00:16:39,540 --> 00:16:42,584 He lived with his mother till he was 40. She tried to poison his oatmeal. 294 00:16:42,752 --> 00:16:46,421 Erroneous! Erroneous. Erroneous on both counts. 295 00:16:46,589 --> 00:16:49,091 -Oh, Lord. Here we go again. -What you should be worried about... 296 00:16:49,258 --> 00:16:51,885 ...is not Chazz Reinhold, who's in the hall of fame. 297 00:16:52,053 --> 00:16:54,763 What you should be worried about is you're getting sloppy. 298 00:16:54,931 --> 00:16:57,974 Now, if you sit there and expect me to go out on a limb... 299 00:16:58,142 --> 00:17:01,103 ...and try to pull off the greatest crash of all time... 300 00:17:01,270 --> 00:17:03,438 ...I gotta know that your head's right. 301 00:17:05,108 --> 00:17:07,776 There is no room for error. 302 00:17:07,944 --> 00:17:10,278 Secret Service. Consequences. 303 00:17:11,280 --> 00:17:13,031 I love your enthusiasm. 304 00:17:13,199 --> 00:17:15,951 If I do this, I don't wanna half-ass it. 305 00:17:16,119 --> 00:17:17,619 I want it well planned. 306 00:17:17,787 --> 00:17:19,913 He's back. 307 00:17:20,081 --> 00:17:22,249 All right, partner. We'll start scheming tonight, okay? 308 00:17:22,417 --> 00:17:24,876 -Sounds good. Okay. -If you need me, I'll be on line six. 309 00:17:30,717 --> 00:17:31,883 Could be fun. 310 00:17:43,646 --> 00:17:44,646 Wow 311 00:17:44,814 --> 00:17:47,149 KATHLEEN: Mr. Senator. Thank you. -Congratulations, Kathleen. 312 00:17:47,316 --> 00:17:49,192 -Bill, congratulations. -Thank you, senator. 313 00:17:49,360 --> 00:17:51,319 Secretary, they just grow up so damn fast. 314 00:17:51,487 --> 00:17:52,612 That's the truth, yeah. 315 00:17:52,780 --> 00:17:57,617 -Okay. Let's do our pregame. -What do you got? 316 00:17:57,785 --> 00:18:00,579 Articles on Secretary Cleary's economic policies. 317 00:18:00,747 --> 00:18:04,249 There's also a roster of key family members, a glossary, sailing terms. 318 00:18:04,417 --> 00:18:06,209 -Sailing? -Sailing's like sex to these people. 319 00:18:06,377 --> 00:18:08,837 -They love it. -Harvard, Kennedy School of Government. 320 00:18:09,005 --> 00:18:11,465 Mom's big with charities, blah, blah, blah. 321 00:18:11,632 --> 00:18:13,133 Three daughters, one son. 322 00:18:13,301 --> 00:18:15,594 -I get it. Good work. -Good. 323 00:18:16,137 --> 00:18:18,138 [CHATTERING] 324 00:18:31,277 --> 00:18:32,819 Let me see that again, please. 325 00:18:33,279 --> 00:18:35,614 Pretty handsome. 326 00:18:35,782 --> 00:18:37,491 Okay, what's our back-story? 327 00:18:37,658 --> 00:18:40,827 We're brothers from New Hampshire, we're venture capitalists. 328 00:18:40,995 --> 00:18:42,871 JEREMY: I'm sick of that. 329 00:18:43,039 --> 00:18:46,833 Let's be from Vermont, and let's have an emerging maple-syrup conglomerate. 330 00:18:47,001 --> 00:18:49,544 Wait, that's stupid. We don't know anything about maple syrup. 331 00:18:49,712 --> 00:18:51,797 I know everything there is to know about maple syrup. 332 00:18:51,964 --> 00:18:53,965 I love maple syrup. I love maple syrup on pancakes. 333 00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:56,802 I love it on pizza. I put a little bit in my hair... 334 00:18:56,969 --> 00:18:59,012 ...when I've had a rough week. What do you think holds it up, slick? 335 00:18:59,180 --> 00:19:01,890 The first quarter of the big game and you wanna toss up a Hail Mary. 336 00:19:02,058 --> 00:19:04,434 I'd like to be pimps from Oakland or cowboys from Arizona... 337 00:19:04,602 --> 00:19:08,230 ...but it's not Halloween. Grow up, Peter Pan. Count Chocula. 338 00:19:08,397 --> 00:19:10,148 Look, we've been to a million weddings. 339 00:19:10,316 --> 00:19:12,400 And guess what. We've rocked them all. 340 00:19:19,492 --> 00:19:20,909 Great day. 341 00:19:21,077 --> 00:19:23,328 - [WHISPERING] The Eagle has landed. JEREMY: The big show. 342 00:19:23,496 --> 00:19:26,873 Hey, hey. Fifth row back with the fancy hat. 343 00:19:27,041 --> 00:19:29,376 I like that. 344 00:19:29,544 --> 00:19:32,879 No, don't waste your time on girls with hats, they tend to be very proper. 345 00:19:34,173 --> 00:19:35,382 JEREMY: Yeah? 346 00:19:35,550 --> 00:19:38,426 The proper girl in the hat just eye-fucked the shit out of me. 347 00:19:39,679 --> 00:19:42,013 JOHN: I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 348 00:19:42,181 --> 00:19:46,017 Why don't you say it a little louder? I don't think the priest heard you. 349 00:19:46,185 --> 00:19:48,895 Look, John, I'm sorry I'm not sorry, okay? 350 00:19:49,063 --> 00:19:50,939 I'm not gonna apologize. I'm a cocksman. 351 00:19:52,942 --> 00:19:55,735 JOHN: Tourette's. -Frank Myers. 352 00:19:55,903 --> 00:19:57,904 John Ryan. Say hello to my brother, Jeremy. 353 00:19:58,072 --> 00:19:59,364 -Hi. -How are you? 354 00:19:59,532 --> 00:20:01,908 So, um, how do you know the groom? 355 00:20:02,076 --> 00:20:04,536 We are Uncle Ned's kids. 356 00:20:04,704 --> 00:20:06,580 Uncle Ned. 357 00:20:06,747 --> 00:20:10,417 -Is he Liz's brother? -Uncle Ned, the brother of Aunt Liz. 358 00:20:10,585 --> 00:20:12,085 How is everybody? 359 00:20:12,253 --> 00:20:14,588 Well, Dad kind of putters around the house. 360 00:20:14,755 --> 00:20:17,007 Aunt Liz sends her best. She couldn't make it. 361 00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:19,801 Yeah, I know. 362 00:20:20,011 --> 00:20:21,469 She's dead. 363 00:20:22,805 --> 00:20:24,472 From the grave. 364 00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:26,308 She sends her best from the grave. 365 00:20:26,475 --> 00:20:28,476 We've become extremely spiritual... 366 00:20:28,644 --> 00:20:30,812 -...ever since she passed. -I see. 367 00:20:31,022 --> 00:20:33,148 But thank you so much for your kindness, brother. 368 00:20:33,316 --> 00:20:35,817 Lord knows we need family now more than ever. 369 00:20:35,985 --> 00:20:38,904 -Well, you're welcome. JEREMY: Thank you. 370 00:20:39,071 --> 00:20:41,031 [PACHELBEL'S "CANON IN D" PLAYS OVER SPEAKERS] 371 00:20:41,449 --> 00:20:43,491 How many times are you gonna do this shit? 372 00:20:43,659 --> 00:20:45,952 Rule number 32: You don't commit to a relative... 373 00:20:46,120 --> 00:20:48,580 ...unless you're absolutely positive that they have a pulse. 374 00:20:48,748 --> 00:20:50,957 Rule 1 6: Give me an up-to-date family tree. 375 00:20:51,125 --> 00:20:53,126 Your mistake. You made me look like an idiot. 376 00:20:53,294 --> 00:20:55,629 Rule number 76: No excuses, play like a champion. 377 00:21:07,350 --> 00:21:09,184 Hello, Red. 378 00:21:11,646 --> 00:21:14,147 -Dibs. -She's all yours. 379 00:21:16,192 --> 00:21:17,859 I ain't gonna fight you. 380 00:21:18,027 --> 00:21:20,028 [WAGNER'S "BRIDAL CHORUS" PLAYS OVER SPEAKERS] 381 00:21:41,968 --> 00:21:43,718 I think we've got a crier. 382 00:21:43,886 --> 00:21:46,471 -No shot. -Twenty bucks. 383 00:21:46,639 --> 00:21:48,682 -Make it 40. -Done. 384 00:21:50,142 --> 00:21:51,893 [CRYING] 385 00:21:52,061 --> 00:21:53,895 Oh, are you kidding me? 386 00:21:54,063 --> 00:21:56,564 It's beautiful. It's moving. It's a wedding. 387 00:21:56,732 --> 00:22:02,821 And now for our next reading, I'd like to ask the bride's sister Gloria... 388 00:22:02,989 --> 00:22:04,864 ...up to the lectern. 389 00:22:05,032 --> 00:22:06,825 Twenty bucks, 1 Corinthians. 390 00:22:06,993 --> 00:22:09,327 Double or nothing, Colossians 3: 1 2. 391 00:22:11,914 --> 00:22:15,166 And now a reading from Paul's First Letter to the Corinthians. 392 00:22:15,334 --> 00:22:19,254 "Love is patient, love is kind." 393 00:22:19,422 --> 00:22:22,424 As you all know, Craig and Christina... 394 00:22:22,591 --> 00:22:25,552 ...are quite the sailing enthusiasts. 395 00:22:25,720 --> 00:22:29,764 In that light, they have elected to exchange vows... 396 00:22:29,932 --> 00:22:32,434 ...which they themselves have written. 397 00:22:33,561 --> 00:22:35,270 The ring. 398 00:22:36,564 --> 00:22:37,939 CRAIG: I, Craig... 399 00:22:38,107 --> 00:22:40,692 ...take you, Christina, to be my wife... 400 00:22:40,860 --> 00:22:44,112 ...my best friend and my first mate... 401 00:22:44,280 --> 00:22:45,613 [SNICKERING] 402 00:22:46,032 --> 00:22:50,285 ...through sickness and health, clear skies and squalls. 403 00:22:50,453 --> 00:22:51,578 [GIGGLING] 404 00:22:51,954 --> 00:22:52,954 [CLAIRE CLEARS THROAT] 405 00:22:53,122 --> 00:22:54,914 I'm sorry, I have a tickle in my throat. 406 00:22:56,584 --> 00:22:59,627 CHRISTINA: I, Christina, take you, Craig... 407 00:22:59,795 --> 00:23:01,880 ...to be my best friend... 408 00:23:02,048 --> 00:23:04,174 ...and my captain... 409 00:23:05,009 --> 00:23:08,261 ...to be your anchor and your sail... 410 00:23:08,429 --> 00:23:09,804 Well, this is a first. 411 00:23:09,972 --> 00:23:12,432 CHRISTINA: ...your starboard and your port. 412 00:23:12,600 --> 00:23:13,641 [SNORTS] 413 00:23:13,809 --> 00:23:18,563 And now I pronounce you husband and wife. 414 00:23:18,731 --> 00:23:20,648 You may kiss the first mate. 415 00:23:20,816 --> 00:23:22,150 [GIGGLES] 416 00:23:22,318 --> 00:23:24,319 [PEOPLE CHEERING] 417 00:23:24,487 --> 00:23:26,988 [MENDELSSOHN'S "WEDDING MARCH" PLAYS OVER SPEAKERS] 418 00:23:28,157 --> 00:23:30,158 [LAUGHING] 419 00:23:46,967 --> 00:23:48,968 [BAND PLAYING SWING MUSIC] 420 00:24:04,693 --> 00:24:06,778 Sorry, just a sampler. 421 00:24:06,946 --> 00:24:09,489 -Told you this would be classy, right? -Yes, you did. 422 00:24:09,657 --> 00:24:12,867 Class, first class all the way. You were not lying. 423 00:24:13,035 --> 00:24:14,536 Class, class, class. 424 00:24:18,290 --> 00:24:21,334 They've got some kind of seasoning on here. It must be sprinkled. 425 00:24:21,502 --> 00:24:24,796 Okay, go get us seats near, but not too near, the bridal party. 426 00:24:24,964 --> 00:24:27,549 I'm gonna go drop this box of fresh Wyoming air. 427 00:24:28,884 --> 00:24:31,177 If you see crab cakes, get some because I love them. 428 00:24:31,345 --> 00:24:33,138 Consider it done. 429 00:24:37,685 --> 00:24:40,812 -Fondue set. -Excuse me? 430 00:24:40,980 --> 00:24:43,731 The present you're holding is a sterling-silver fondue set. 431 00:24:43,899 --> 00:24:47,068 -John Ryan. -Claire Cleary. 432 00:24:47,236 --> 00:24:48,862 Uh, so how do you know that? 433 00:24:49,029 --> 00:24:51,322 Well, I'm a psychic. 434 00:24:51,490 --> 00:24:52,991 -You're psychic? -I am. 435 00:24:53,159 --> 00:24:54,742 -Really? -Yes. 436 00:24:55,536 --> 00:24:58,329 -What's that one? -Knife set. German. Very nice. 437 00:24:58,497 --> 00:25:01,416 -Hm. And that? -Cotton linens, Egyptian. 438 00:25:01,584 --> 00:25:02,625 Ooh. 439 00:25:02,793 --> 00:25:04,419 -What about that? -Oh, I'll go all day. 440 00:25:04,587 --> 00:25:07,297 Place settings, candlesticks, crystal stemware... 441 00:25:07,464 --> 00:25:10,717 ...which they'll probably never use because it's crystal stemware. 442 00:25:10,885 --> 00:25:13,428 -Okay, how about that? -This? 443 00:25:13,762 --> 00:25:14,804 Uh.... 444 00:25:14,972 --> 00:25:19,100 Massage oils and a book on tantra, probably from the wacky aunt. 445 00:25:21,187 --> 00:25:22,896 Let's check. 446 00:25:24,190 --> 00:25:26,232 -Who's it from? -Aunt Millie. 447 00:25:26,400 --> 00:25:29,110 -Yes! -Well, you have a gift. 448 00:25:29,278 --> 00:25:32,405 I know. Unfortunately my powers only apply to useless consumer products. 449 00:25:32,573 --> 00:25:37,118 Well, if the police are missing a Belgian waffle maker, you could give them a hand. 450 00:25:37,453 --> 00:25:39,204 [CHUCKLING] 451 00:25:39,371 --> 00:25:41,289 -Claire, we need you for pictures. -Oh, okay. 452 00:25:41,457 --> 00:25:43,541 -Who's your friend? -This is John Ryan. 453 00:25:44,084 --> 00:25:46,628 -Hello. -Excuse us. 454 00:25:49,965 --> 00:25:52,675 JEREMY: I might just have one more of the samplers here. 455 00:25:52,843 --> 00:25:54,302 -Good. -What have we got? 456 00:25:54,470 --> 00:25:56,596 Come back with some more stuff. That's good, though. 457 00:25:56,764 --> 00:25:59,140 These bacon-wrapped scallops, phenomenal. 458 00:25:59,808 --> 00:26:02,602 Really hit the spot. Unbelievable. 459 00:26:03,229 --> 00:26:06,606 Oh, shit. Isn't that the girl you hooked up with at the Andersons' wedding? 460 00:26:09,818 --> 00:26:12,153 -Oh, Jesus, I'm smoked. -No, no, don't panic. 461 00:26:12,321 --> 00:26:15,073 We're gonna do number 1 0 from the playbook. Here she comes. 462 00:26:15,241 --> 00:26:19,661 Shlomo? I thought you were renouncing all your possessions and moving to Nepal. 463 00:26:20,829 --> 00:26:23,456 Shlomo, don't you remember me? 464 00:26:24,500 --> 00:26:26,501 JOHN: Oh, my God, you didn't hear. 465 00:26:26,669 --> 00:26:30,171 I'm so sorry. Shlomo had a scuba-diving accident. 466 00:26:30,965 --> 00:26:34,092 Yeah, he came up too fast and the oxygen deprivation.... 467 00:26:34,677 --> 00:26:37,387 Poor guy. He doesn't remember anyone, even me, his own brother. 468 00:26:37,554 --> 00:26:39,514 I'm just some nice guy who helps him out. 469 00:26:40,849 --> 00:26:42,100 You poor thing. 470 00:26:44,436 --> 00:26:46,938 He can't hear anything either. It's part of the accident. 471 00:26:47,106 --> 00:26:48,690 So are you here for the Clearys' wedding? 472 00:26:49,358 --> 00:26:52,860 Oh, yes. Yes, but I have to leave. 473 00:26:53,028 --> 00:26:55,405 -I've got a flight to Madrid. JOHN: Oh, you have to leave? 474 00:26:55,572 --> 00:26:57,365 -Yes. JOHN: Oh, okay. 475 00:26:58,158 --> 00:26:59,951 I could hang out for a few minutes. 476 00:27:02,830 --> 00:27:05,206 Oh, actually that won't be necessary. 477 00:27:05,374 --> 00:27:08,835 Shlomo would like me to take him to the bathroom, then get him some crab cakes. 478 00:27:09,003 --> 00:27:10,837 So, yeah, no, that's not-- 479 00:27:11,005 --> 00:27:12,297 Okay, okay. 480 00:27:12,464 --> 00:27:16,092 Okay, I'll take you to get crab cakes first, then I'll take you to the bathroom. 481 00:27:17,428 --> 00:27:18,886 You know what? 482 00:27:19,054 --> 00:27:22,348 Here's my number. If there is anything I can do to help.... 483 00:27:22,516 --> 00:27:24,142 Okay. 484 00:27:24,310 --> 00:27:26,477 Okay, have a safe flight. Don't worry about us. 485 00:27:26,645 --> 00:27:29,647 -We're gonna be fine, we're gonna make it. -Okay. 486 00:27:30,899 --> 00:27:32,567 Doctor. 487 00:27:33,402 --> 00:27:35,153 She looked good. I might give her a shout. 488 00:27:35,321 --> 00:27:36,904 How? She thinks you're deaf. 489 00:27:37,072 --> 00:27:40,366 Everyone wants to be part of a miracle. I turned the corner, she's a part of it. 490 00:27:40,534 --> 00:27:42,368 People helping people. It's powerful stuff. 491 00:27:42,536 --> 00:27:45,997 God, you're a sick man. You also may be a genius. 492 00:27:46,165 --> 00:27:47,999 Okay, so, what angle are we gonna play here? 493 00:27:48,167 --> 00:27:50,835 I'm gonna go with the balloon-animal display for the kids... 494 00:27:51,003 --> 00:27:54,005 ...and then when she comes to check it out, guess who's a broken man. 495 00:27:54,173 --> 00:27:55,757 -Haunted past. -Haunted past. Excellent. 496 00:27:55,924 --> 00:27:57,884 -How about you? -I'll dance with the flower girl. 497 00:27:58,052 --> 00:28:00,011 Or be a charter member of Oprah's Book Club. 498 00:28:00,179 --> 00:28:02,847 -It's all deadly. I'll see you in a little. -Yes. 499 00:28:03,015 --> 00:28:06,142 Final touch. There it is. 500 00:28:06,310 --> 00:28:08,436 One happy elephant. 501 00:28:08,979 --> 00:28:11,606 All right. Who else wants something? 502 00:28:11,774 --> 00:28:13,149 I want a bicycle. 503 00:28:13,317 --> 00:28:17,111 A bicycle? Well, a bicycle, that would take a lot of balloons... 504 00:28:17,279 --> 00:28:19,405 ...and Uncle Jeremy's a little tired right now... 505 00:28:19,573 --> 00:28:22,283 ...so why don't we do something like, let's say, a giraffe? 506 00:28:22,451 --> 00:28:24,535 I just want a bicycle! 507 00:28:27,331 --> 00:28:28,623 Why are you yelling at me? 508 00:28:28,791 --> 00:28:31,084 Whatever. Make me a bicycle, clown. 509 00:28:38,175 --> 00:28:41,594 I'm gonna make you a bicycle. But I don't want to make you a bicycle. 510 00:28:41,762 --> 00:28:43,596 Shut your mouth, funny guy, and make it. 511 00:28:46,517 --> 00:28:48,393 JOHN: You got it. 512 00:28:49,812 --> 00:28:52,730 There you go. Yeah, you got it. 513 00:29:03,992 --> 00:29:05,952 Let's see how you do with somebody your own age. 514 00:29:06,120 --> 00:29:08,371 I think I'm up to the challenge. 515 00:29:08,539 --> 00:29:10,289 All right, will you save me a dance for later? 516 00:29:10,499 --> 00:29:13,668 -Maybe. JOHN: Ha, ha. Okay. 517 00:29:17,798 --> 00:29:19,799 [CLEARS THROAT AND CHUCKLES] 518 00:29:25,514 --> 00:29:28,015 Go on, take it, you hyena. 519 00:29:28,684 --> 00:29:30,309 Don't say thank you. 520 00:29:30,519 --> 00:29:32,353 Hi. You're good. 521 00:29:32,521 --> 00:29:35,440 That thing? I'm just warming up. Last week I did a... 522 00:29:35,607 --> 00:29:38,526 -...exact replica to scale of Wrigley Field. -Ha, ha. 523 00:29:38,694 --> 00:29:41,028 Honest to God. I don't have anywhere to put it. 524 00:29:41,196 --> 00:29:42,947 Okay, then I'll take a sports car. 525 00:29:43,699 --> 00:29:44,866 How about a dance? 526 00:29:45,033 --> 00:29:46,826 That's what I really wanted. 527 00:30:12,060 --> 00:30:14,061 [MUSIC ENDS AND PEOPLE CLAPPING] 528 00:30:18,775 --> 00:30:21,152 So how long have you and the secretary been married? 529 00:30:21,320 --> 00:30:23,863 -Thirty years next April. -Oh, that's beautiful. 530 00:30:24,031 --> 00:30:26,491 Yeah, and we were faithful for two of them. 531 00:30:28,076 --> 00:30:30,953 -Hm? -Enjoy the party. 532 00:30:35,334 --> 00:30:37,793 -Congratulations, Mr. Secretary. CLEARY: Thanks. 533 00:30:42,799 --> 00:30:44,592 Secretary Cleary, John Ryan. 534 00:30:44,760 --> 00:30:46,886 -Hi, John. -I just wanted to tell you how much... 535 00:30:47,095 --> 00:30:50,890 ...I enjoyed your position paper on economic expansion in Micronesia. 536 00:30:51,600 --> 00:30:53,184 You've read my position paper? 537 00:30:53,352 --> 00:30:55,353 I read it while I was sailing my boat to Bermuda. 538 00:30:55,521 --> 00:30:57,021 A sailor? 539 00:30:57,189 --> 00:30:59,941 -Good man, take a seat. -Oh, thanks. 540 00:31:00,108 --> 00:31:02,193 You didn't happen to catch my speech... 541 00:31:02,361 --> 00:31:05,404 ...on the Paraguayan debt and money supply issue, did you? 542 00:31:05,572 --> 00:31:07,740 Are you kidding me? I thought it was great. 543 00:31:07,908 --> 00:31:12,912 Your argument for the inverse ratio of capitalization to debt was genius. 544 00:31:13,121 --> 00:31:16,290 Now, if we can just get Congress not to be so shortsighted. 545 00:31:16,458 --> 00:31:20,628 Yes. Well put. "Shortsighted." 546 00:31:20,796 --> 00:31:25,299 John, what do you say you and I head out to the deck and light up a couple of cigars? 547 00:31:25,467 --> 00:31:26,634 -Stogies? -Yeah. 548 00:31:26,802 --> 00:31:28,052 Why not? 549 00:31:28,637 --> 00:31:31,806 It's just that we lost a lot of really good men out there. 550 00:31:34,393 --> 00:31:35,977 I'm sorry. 551 00:31:36,144 --> 00:31:39,230 Gloria, I think I gotta go get some fresh air. 552 00:31:40,357 --> 00:31:43,818 Thank you so much for the dance and it was wonderful to meet you. 553 00:31:46,363 --> 00:31:48,614 I wish I were stronger. 554 00:31:55,080 --> 00:31:57,498 Jeremy! 555 00:31:58,709 --> 00:32:00,710 Jeremy, wait up! 556 00:32:04,172 --> 00:32:07,341 CLEARY: John, you seem like an astute man. JOHN: Thank you. 557 00:32:07,509 --> 00:32:09,677 Maybe you can help explain something to me. 558 00:32:10,095 --> 00:32:12,471 See that young man out there on the dock? 559 00:32:12,973 --> 00:32:14,849 JOHN: Sure. CLEARY: That's my son, Todd. 560 00:32:15,017 --> 00:32:18,436 Twenty-two years old, the whole world in front of him. 561 00:32:18,604 --> 00:32:21,856 Every advantage in life, advantages I never had. 562 00:32:22,024 --> 00:32:23,733 Well, that's not exactly true. 563 00:32:24,067 --> 00:32:27,361 He had the same advantages I had, which is a hell of a lot of advantages. 564 00:32:27,529 --> 00:32:30,031 So here's my question: 565 00:32:30,407 --> 00:32:32,491 What's he got to be so morose about? 566 00:32:33,410 --> 00:32:35,286 Maybe he hasn't found something to believe in. 567 00:32:35,454 --> 00:32:37,496 Oh, he says he believes in art. 568 00:32:37,873 --> 00:32:39,624 But all I've seen him do... 569 00:32:39,791 --> 00:32:43,878 ...is dribble his own blood on a canvas and smear it around with a stick. 570 00:32:44,046 --> 00:32:46,714 -You know, some people call that art. -It's crap. 571 00:32:47,466 --> 00:32:51,886 What about having a public service, an obligation to our fellow man? 572 00:32:52,763 --> 00:32:54,305 Well, maybe he's.... 573 00:32:54,473 --> 00:32:56,849 Maybe he's just trying to find his own way, his own path. 574 00:32:57,017 --> 00:32:59,352 I mean, you cast a pretty big shadow. 575 00:33:02,272 --> 00:33:03,814 Yeah. 576 00:33:04,608 --> 00:33:07,610 Yeah. Yeah, perhaps... 577 00:33:07,778 --> 00:33:10,321 ...I should take it easier on him. 578 00:33:10,489 --> 00:33:11,530 Perhaps. 579 00:33:11,948 --> 00:33:14,909 Death, you are my bitch lover! 580 00:33:16,953 --> 00:33:18,496 CLEARY: Todd, that's good! 581 00:33:19,581 --> 00:33:20,998 Tell that mean ocean! 582 00:33:23,001 --> 00:33:24,710 Oh, see that? 583 00:33:25,295 --> 00:33:27,129 It's a start. 584 00:33:28,131 --> 00:33:30,675 GLORIA: So you dove into the icy water? 585 00:33:30,842 --> 00:33:35,763 Why would a man risk his own life for the life of a complete stranger? 586 00:33:35,931 --> 00:33:38,724 The great 1 9th century philosopher Schopenhauer... 587 00:33:39,393 --> 00:33:44,146 ...he said, at that moment, when a human sees another human in danger... 588 00:33:44,523 --> 00:33:48,567 ...that there's this breaking in of metaphysical awareness. 589 00:33:49,319 --> 00:33:51,570 Do you know what that awareness is, Gloria? 590 00:33:51,738 --> 00:33:54,281 -What? -That we're all one. 591 00:33:55,200 --> 00:33:59,453 That separateness is an illusion. 592 00:34:00,414 --> 00:34:02,331 And that I'm one with everyone. 593 00:34:02,499 --> 00:34:06,961 With the prime minister of England and my cousin Harry. 594 00:34:07,629 --> 00:34:09,714 You and me. 595 00:34:10,006 --> 00:34:11,966 The fat kid from What's Happening!! 596 00:34:12,634 --> 00:34:14,343 The Olsen twins. 597 00:34:14,511 --> 00:34:16,262 Natalie Portman. 598 00:34:16,430 --> 00:34:18,931 The guy who wrote Catcher in the Rye. 599 00:34:19,266 --> 00:34:21,142 Nat King Cole. 600 00:34:21,309 --> 00:34:22,393 Carrot Top. 601 00:34:23,228 --> 00:34:24,812 Jay-Z. 602 00:34:24,980 --> 00:34:26,897 -"Weird Al" Yankovic. -Hm. 603 00:34:27,315 --> 00:34:29,650 Harry Potter, if he existed. 604 00:34:29,943 --> 00:34:31,402 The whore on the street corner. 605 00:34:31,987 --> 00:34:33,320 Your mother. 606 00:34:33,780 --> 00:34:36,115 -We're all one. -We are? 607 00:34:36,283 --> 00:34:38,075 That my hands are your hands. 608 00:34:38,243 --> 00:34:39,285 Oh. 609 00:34:39,453 --> 00:34:41,620 And that my cheek... 610 00:34:42,289 --> 00:34:44,498 ...is really your cheek. 611 00:34:45,667 --> 00:34:46,917 And that my lips.... 612 00:34:47,335 --> 00:34:48,753 Are my lips. 613 00:34:48,920 --> 00:34:52,339 According to Mr. Schopenhauer, they are. 614 00:34:53,175 --> 00:34:55,176 [GLORIA MOANING] 615 00:34:55,844 --> 00:34:57,845 CLEARY: Well, the guy wants to run for president. 616 00:34:58,013 --> 00:34:59,722 Oh, so you're hiding, I see. 617 00:34:59,890 --> 00:35:02,475 He thinks Moby Dick is a venereal disease. 618 00:35:02,642 --> 00:35:04,560 Well, that's what I need. Claire. 619 00:35:04,728 --> 00:35:06,353 [JOHN LAUGHING] 620 00:35:06,521 --> 00:35:08,439 Sorry to interrupt. 621 00:35:08,607 --> 00:35:11,025 -Christina wants to talk to you. -Fun's over. 622 00:35:13,862 --> 00:35:15,196 -Yeah. -Funny. 623 00:35:15,363 --> 00:35:17,865 CLEARY: Franklin! -What a great guy. 624 00:35:18,784 --> 00:35:20,743 You are a big hit at this wedding. 625 00:35:20,911 --> 00:35:23,954 Well, everyone's so nice. It's easy. 626 00:35:26,291 --> 00:35:29,001 -They're all full of shit. -What? 627 00:35:29,169 --> 00:35:31,337 Half of these people are here because of my dad. 628 00:35:31,505 --> 00:35:35,174 They're all just, you know, suckling at the power teat. 629 00:35:35,383 --> 00:35:38,928 No, no. Come on, they're here because they want to believe... 630 00:35:39,095 --> 00:35:42,097 ...they're in the presence of true love. That's why people come to weddings. 631 00:35:42,265 --> 00:35:45,392 Because they wanna believe in true love. 632 00:35:45,560 --> 00:35:46,811 What's true love? 633 00:35:48,730 --> 00:35:52,608 True love is your soul's recognition of its counterpoint in another. 634 00:35:57,322 --> 00:36:00,491 Well, it's a little cheesy, but I like it. 635 00:36:00,659 --> 00:36:02,243 I saw it on a bumper sticker. 636 00:36:02,410 --> 00:36:03,744 [CHUCKLES] 637 00:36:04,412 --> 00:36:06,205 -So you gonna give a toast? -Yes. 638 00:36:06,373 --> 00:36:08,415 -You nervous? -Mmm, little bit, um. 639 00:36:08,583 --> 00:36:11,585 -What are you gonna say? -Would you...? 640 00:36:13,255 --> 00:36:16,507 -You keep it in your cleavage. -Nowhere else to put it. 641 00:36:16,675 --> 00:36:20,886 Normally, I'm not very good at these things, but I think this one's pretty good. 642 00:36:21,054 --> 00:36:23,013 "I never thought my sister would find someone... 643 00:36:23,181 --> 00:36:25,850 ...who cared about what other people thought as much as she did... 644 00:36:26,017 --> 00:36:28,269 -...until I met Craig"? -Yes. 645 00:36:28,436 --> 00:36:30,688 That's funny. That's funny because it's true. 646 00:36:30,856 --> 00:36:32,356 You know, people like funny. 647 00:36:32,524 --> 00:36:35,359 I know. But the whole funny-because-it's-true bit... 648 00:36:35,527 --> 00:36:37,903 ...only works if the truth is a small thing. 649 00:36:38,071 --> 00:36:41,115 Like, "Everyone knows Jennifer likes to shop, ha, ha, ha." 650 00:36:41,283 --> 00:36:43,617 You're better off going with something from the heart. 651 00:36:43,785 --> 00:36:45,786 I think that people are gonna like this. 652 00:36:45,954 --> 00:36:47,621 I think you're gonna hear crickets. 653 00:36:47,789 --> 00:36:49,623 -I think you're wrong. -Sounds of silence. 654 00:36:49,791 --> 00:36:52,167 -Nope. Mm-mm. -Okay, go walk the plank. 655 00:36:52,335 --> 00:36:54,253 -I'm sticking to it. -Go ahead. 656 00:36:54,421 --> 00:36:57,798 Hey, meet me at the back of the room. I'll be waiting to say, "I told you so." 657 00:37:01,720 --> 00:37:03,304 Good luck. 658 00:37:03,471 --> 00:37:09,226 And so, after my ninth stint in rehab, um, Craig.... 659 00:37:09,394 --> 00:37:11,061 Oh, Craig. 660 00:37:11,229 --> 00:37:15,190 Craig was the only one who still believed in me. 661 00:37:15,358 --> 00:37:17,276 Been sober now for eight months. 662 00:37:17,444 --> 00:37:18,736 [CHUCKLING] 663 00:37:18,904 --> 00:37:23,240 And, uh, I thank God every day... 664 00:37:23,408 --> 00:37:26,827 ...for sending me a friend like Craig. 665 00:37:26,995 --> 00:37:28,871 I love you, man. 666 00:37:29,039 --> 00:37:31,040 [PEOPLE CLAPPING] 667 00:37:40,008 --> 00:37:41,467 [CLAIRE CLEARS THROAT] 668 00:37:44,763 --> 00:37:47,264 I never thought my sister would find someone who cared about... 669 00:37:47,432 --> 00:37:50,684 ...what other people thought as much as she did until I met Craig. 670 00:37:56,816 --> 00:37:58,150 Uh.... 671 00:37:58,318 --> 00:38:01,695 As you all know, my sister and Craig are both lawyers... 672 00:38:01,863 --> 00:38:04,490 ...at big law firms in New York. 673 00:38:04,866 --> 00:38:07,868 But that's not the only thing they have in common. Um.... 674 00:38:08,036 --> 00:38:10,704 They both like the color green... 675 00:38:10,872 --> 00:38:14,291 ...like Craig's eyes and money. 676 00:38:18,964 --> 00:38:20,881 Um, heh.... 677 00:38:32,560 --> 00:38:35,813 You know, someone once told me that... 678 00:38:35,981 --> 00:38:38,107 ...true love is... 679 00:38:38,274 --> 00:38:41,318 ...the soul's recognition of its counterpoint in another. 680 00:38:43,363 --> 00:38:46,907 And I think that that's a very rare thing in this world. 681 00:38:48,827 --> 00:38:51,495 And I think it's something to be valued. 682 00:38:51,663 --> 00:38:55,124 And I'm just really happy that my big sister's found it. 683 00:38:55,291 --> 00:38:57,835 Congratulations, Chris. 684 00:38:58,086 --> 00:38:59,586 [MOUTHING] Thank you. 685 00:38:59,754 --> 00:39:01,714 [PEOPLE CLAPPING] 686 00:39:10,932 --> 00:39:12,266 Ah! 687 00:39:12,434 --> 00:39:15,519 -That was amazing! -It was really great. 688 00:39:15,812 --> 00:39:19,314 We should probably head back so they're not looking for us. 689 00:39:19,482 --> 00:39:22,276 I always knew my first time would be on a beach. 690 00:39:23,653 --> 00:39:25,612 First time? 691 00:39:28,658 --> 00:39:30,034 You were a virgin? 692 00:39:30,201 --> 00:39:31,744 -Mm-hm. -Wow. 693 00:39:31,911 --> 00:39:35,372 Jeremy, we're gonna be so happy together. 694 00:39:36,416 --> 00:39:37,583 I love you. 695 00:39:37,751 --> 00:39:39,752 -I'm sorry? -I love you. 696 00:39:49,679 --> 00:39:51,597 CLAIRE: You totally saved me. -No. 697 00:39:51,765 --> 00:39:54,141 -Yes. -Claire, come on. Come on. 698 00:39:55,852 --> 00:39:58,187 Oh, baby, you were awesome. 699 00:39:58,354 --> 00:39:59,980 -No. -Listen to me, awesome. 700 00:40:00,148 --> 00:40:01,565 Okay. 701 00:40:01,733 --> 00:40:04,401 John, this is my boyfriend, Sack. 702 00:40:04,569 --> 00:40:06,612 -Hey, fella. -How you doing? 703 00:40:06,780 --> 00:40:08,655 -Listen, we gotta go meet the Schreibers. -Okay. 704 00:40:08,823 --> 00:40:10,074 It was great to meet you. 705 00:40:10,241 --> 00:40:11,658 [WHISPERING] Thank you. 706 00:40:14,245 --> 00:40:15,788 Boom, I gotcha. 707 00:40:15,955 --> 00:40:16,997 [LAUGHING] 708 00:40:17,165 --> 00:40:20,000 -How you doing? -Oh, great. Good to see you. 709 00:40:20,418 --> 00:40:22,002 I gotta get out of here, pronto. 710 00:40:22,170 --> 00:40:24,588 -I got a Stage 5 clinger. -No, no, I need more time. 711 00:40:25,131 --> 00:40:28,550 Did you hear what I just said to you? Stage 5? Virgin? Clinger? 712 00:40:28,718 --> 00:40:31,887 Let's go, I'm gonna start the car. I'm serious, let's go. 713 00:40:34,015 --> 00:40:35,641 I don't think you appreciate the urgency. 714 00:40:35,809 --> 00:40:38,393 Not only is she a virgin, she's totally off the reservation. 715 00:40:38,561 --> 00:40:40,771 I'm terrified of this broad. 716 00:40:40,939 --> 00:40:44,274 -There you are. -Hey, Gloria, wow. 717 00:40:44,442 --> 00:40:46,985 What a coincidence, I was just singing your praises. This is John Ryan. 718 00:40:47,153 --> 00:40:48,403 GLORIA: Oh, hi. -Yeah. 719 00:40:48,571 --> 00:40:51,698 My family and a few friends, we're all going back to our place on the shore... 720 00:40:51,866 --> 00:40:53,951 ...and it would be so great if you guys came. 721 00:40:54,119 --> 00:40:55,202 Really? 722 00:40:55,370 --> 00:40:56,787 -Sounds sort of wonderful. -I am-- 723 00:40:56,955 --> 00:40:58,705 Well, it does, it sounds very nice. 724 00:40:58,873 --> 00:41:00,707 And I'm flattered that you would think of me... 725 00:41:00,875 --> 00:41:02,876 ...to include me in something like that. Thank you. 726 00:41:03,044 --> 00:41:06,547 It kills me however to have to tell you I'm sorry, I just-- 727 00:41:06,714 --> 00:41:08,715 -Timing's no good. I can't make it. -Why? 728 00:41:08,883 --> 00:41:11,510 -It's gonna be so much fun. -It's gonna be so much fun. 729 00:41:11,678 --> 00:41:13,846 I'm sure it will be fun for the people that are going. 730 00:41:14,013 --> 00:41:17,641 I unfortunately can't go. I don't have-- I only have this monkey suit. 731 00:41:17,809 --> 00:41:20,185 -I don't have any clothes. -No, we have everything you need. 732 00:41:20,353 --> 00:41:23,063 -Problem solved. Problem solved. -The problem's not solved. 733 00:41:23,231 --> 00:41:25,399 -Deal us in. -Oh, cool, cool, cool. 734 00:41:25,567 --> 00:41:27,192 I'm gonna run and find my dad. 735 00:41:27,360 --> 00:41:28,819 Don't ask your dad. Don't ask your-- 736 00:41:28,987 --> 00:41:31,905 -The train's going. We gotta get on. -Why not just feed me to the lions? 737 00:41:32,073 --> 00:41:34,074 -What? -Step on my head when I'm drowning. 738 00:41:34,242 --> 00:41:35,951 -What? -What do you mean, what? 739 00:41:36,119 --> 00:41:37,828 John, this is completely against the rules. 740 00:41:37,996 --> 00:41:40,497 You have a wedding and a reception to seal the deal. Period. 741 00:41:40,665 --> 00:41:42,416 -There's no overtime. No. -Oh, no overtime? 742 00:41:42,584 --> 00:41:44,209 What about the Chang wedding three years ago? 743 00:41:44,377 --> 00:41:46,962 -Oh, that's bullshit. -Yeah, thought I forgot about that. 744 00:41:47,130 --> 00:41:49,506 Two a.m., you dragged me 50 miles to watch you and some chick... 745 00:41:49,674 --> 00:41:52,384 ...play mahjong with her grandmother at a retirement home. 746 00:41:52,552 --> 00:41:54,303 -Yeah, completely different situation. -How? 747 00:41:54,470 --> 00:41:57,431 What do you mean, how? She was a very, very family-oriented girl. 748 00:41:57,599 --> 00:41:59,266 She was very into her grandmother. 749 00:41:59,434 --> 00:42:01,476 -Give me a break. -That was my first Asian! 750 00:42:03,771 --> 00:42:05,439 -You better lock it up. -You better lock it up. 751 00:42:05,607 --> 00:42:08,609 -No, you lock it up. Lock it up. -You lock it up. Lock it up. 752 00:42:08,776 --> 00:42:12,279 Please. It would mean so much to me. Please. 753 00:42:12,447 --> 00:42:14,031 Look at the way he's looking at me. 754 00:42:14,199 --> 00:42:16,283 He doesn't like me. He's the secretary of the treasury. 755 00:42:16,451 --> 00:42:18,702 To be honest with you, my taxes aren't exactly in line. 756 00:42:18,870 --> 00:42:21,455 -You're being paranoid. -He's threatened by the way I dance. 757 00:42:21,623 --> 00:42:23,957 Damn it. Why'd I have to go showing off like that? 758 00:42:24,125 --> 00:42:26,293 Now I'm all over his radar. Stupid. 759 00:42:26,461 --> 00:42:27,878 You're not that good a dancer. 760 00:42:28,046 --> 00:42:30,631 Oh, please. You and I both know I'm a phenomenal dancer. 761 00:42:30,798 --> 00:42:33,342 Now I know you're lying. You'll do anything to get me to go... 762 00:42:33,509 --> 00:42:36,053 ...even if I have to walk right into the lion's den. 763 00:42:36,221 --> 00:42:37,971 Gloria, come on! 764 00:42:38,139 --> 00:42:40,849 You know I'm not gonna give in to this kind of behavior. 765 00:42:41,017 --> 00:42:43,143 She's like a kid at Toys "R" Us. I can't be around it. 766 00:42:43,311 --> 00:42:45,354 Oh, get off your high horse. Stop judging people. 767 00:42:45,521 --> 00:42:47,522 You take off the white wig and you stop judging me. 768 00:42:47,690 --> 00:42:49,858 I don't want to be around someone who's a nut job. 769 00:42:50,026 --> 00:42:52,569 -I need alone time with her. -You wanna hang out with Claire... 770 00:42:52,737 --> 00:42:55,322 ...the boyfriend and Sybil, by all means. I'm not going. 771 00:42:55,490 --> 00:42:57,741 I'll lay it out for you in chapter and verse: You're going. 772 00:42:57,909 --> 00:43:01,328 Let me break it down for you, I'll hold your hand like a small child: 773 00:43:01,496 --> 00:43:02,537 -I'm not going. -You are. 774 00:43:02,705 --> 00:43:04,915 -You can go if you want. -You're gonna be a team player. 775 00:43:05,083 --> 00:43:07,167 JEREMY: No, I'm not. -He'd love you to come. 776 00:43:07,335 --> 00:43:10,837 -Yes. Yes! Baba ganoush! -Well-- 777 00:43:11,005 --> 00:43:12,506 GLORIA: Baba ganou! 778 00:43:25,853 --> 00:43:29,523 SACK: Okay, okay. Home sweet home. 779 00:43:29,691 --> 00:43:32,192 KATHLEEN: Thank you, Sack. Thank you. 780 00:43:33,069 --> 00:43:34,945 JOHN: You okay? -Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 781 00:43:35,113 --> 00:43:37,364 JOHN: Come here, come here. 782 00:43:37,532 --> 00:43:41,201 Are you okay? I'm gonna need 1 00 percent of Jeremy and you're looking a little weird. 783 00:43:41,369 --> 00:43:44,955 She took me below deck for 45 minutes. I don't have any bodily fluids left in me. 784 00:43:45,123 --> 00:43:47,040 Gentlemen, everything okay? 785 00:43:47,208 --> 00:43:48,667 -Great. Yep. SACK: Great? 786 00:43:48,835 --> 00:43:52,379 You know, we were thinking about a little game of touch football, you know? 787 00:43:52,880 --> 00:43:55,299 -Yeah? -Cleary family tradition. 788 00:43:55,466 --> 00:43:56,842 A little pigskin, why not? 789 00:43:57,010 --> 00:43:58,927 CLEARY: Great. -Don't forget to stretch, guys. 790 00:43:59,095 --> 00:44:01,054 We're gonna be on the field in 1 0. 791 00:44:01,347 --> 00:44:03,181 CLAIRE: I'm open, I'm open! 792 00:44:06,269 --> 00:44:09,896 SACK: There you go. Nice, nice, nice. 793 00:44:10,064 --> 00:44:11,106 There you go. 794 00:44:31,002 --> 00:44:33,045 Clothes fit. 795 00:44:33,212 --> 00:44:36,465 I'm not even gonna say it, but you know I'm upset. 796 00:44:36,632 --> 00:44:39,509 I know you are. I think you look good. 797 00:44:40,386 --> 00:44:42,596 You know I don't look good. 798 00:44:43,639 --> 00:44:46,641 GLORIA: Hey, honey! I'm over here! 799 00:44:47,518 --> 00:44:49,353 Are you ready? Are you ready for some football? 800 00:44:49,520 --> 00:44:51,438 You want the noise brought on you? Here it comes. 801 00:44:51,606 --> 00:44:53,607 -The what? MAN: The noise brought on you. 802 00:44:53,775 --> 00:44:55,609 -Here it comes. -Just hike the ball, nut job. 803 00:44:55,777 --> 00:45:00,072 Ready! Set! Hut! Hut! Hike! 804 00:45:00,239 --> 00:45:02,699 One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi. 805 00:45:02,867 --> 00:45:04,743 CLAIRE: Over here! Me, me, me! 806 00:45:06,079 --> 00:45:07,537 [GRUNTING] 807 00:45:07,705 --> 00:45:08,789 MAN: Yes! 808 00:45:08,956 --> 00:45:10,123 -Wow. -Whoo! 809 00:45:10,291 --> 00:45:12,417 Yes! Crab cakes and football! 810 00:45:12,585 --> 00:45:14,378 -That's what Maryland does! CLEARY: Nice one. 811 00:45:15,088 --> 00:45:16,296 [GRUNTS] 812 00:45:16,964 --> 00:45:18,173 -A little out of shape? -Yeah. 813 00:45:18,341 --> 00:45:19,841 [CHUCKLES] 814 00:45:20,134 --> 00:45:21,676 -Way to bring it. SACK: Anticipate that rush. 815 00:45:21,844 --> 00:45:23,261 -I saw you had it. -Hey, shut up! 816 00:45:23,429 --> 00:45:25,430 -You gotta anticipate that rush. -Of course I do. 817 00:45:25,598 --> 00:45:27,724 SACK: You did a great job. JEREMY: What happened, Toast? 818 00:45:27,892 --> 00:45:29,476 I think he's on steroids. 819 00:45:29,644 --> 00:45:31,770 It was like trying to cover a fucking racehorse. 820 00:45:31,938 --> 00:45:33,021 [GRUNTING] 821 00:45:33,189 --> 00:45:36,233 -Get it up! Get it up! -Well, don't worry about it. 822 00:45:36,401 --> 00:45:40,112 -We'll burn them with the post. -No, no. No, I got a better idea. 823 00:45:40,279 --> 00:45:42,572 Look, I want you to fake the post... 824 00:45:42,740 --> 00:45:45,325 ...throw an interception to Claire, get her to feel good. 825 00:45:45,493 --> 00:45:47,452 Gets her involved. You think you can do that? 826 00:45:47,620 --> 00:45:50,705 John, I was first team, all-state. I can put the ball wherever I want to. 827 00:45:50,873 --> 00:45:55,293 I'll make it rain out here. All right, guys, bring it in. Blue 1 7! 828 00:45:56,212 --> 00:45:58,672 Blue 1 7! Red 7! 829 00:45:58,840 --> 00:46:01,341 -Oh, you're gonna cover me? -Like white on rice. 830 00:46:01,509 --> 00:46:04,344 All right, I like my odds here. I'm gonna give you a little warning: 831 00:46:04,512 --> 00:46:06,263 -I'm going downtown. -Hot route! 832 00:46:06,431 --> 00:46:08,640 Red 7, Red 7, Red 7! 833 00:46:08,808 --> 00:46:11,309 Look for me in the end zone, I'll be the guy holding the ball. 834 00:46:11,477 --> 00:46:13,186 -John! Red 7! -What? 835 00:46:13,354 --> 00:46:16,106 -I don't know what "Red 7" means. -Hot route! 836 00:46:16,274 --> 00:46:17,691 I don't-- What is "hot route"? 837 00:46:18,192 --> 00:46:20,944 Will you just go stand on the other side, please? 838 00:46:21,112 --> 00:46:22,612 CLAIRE: Are you running away from me? 839 00:46:22,780 --> 00:46:25,866 JOHN: No. I'm just getting over here. CLAIRE: You scared? 840 00:46:26,242 --> 00:46:27,951 -Down! -Come on. 841 00:46:28,119 --> 00:46:32,372 Ready, down, set! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hike! 842 00:46:33,875 --> 00:46:35,167 GLORIA: Go, Jeremy! 843 00:46:35,334 --> 00:46:37,669 Hey, yo! Hit me! Hit me! 844 00:46:39,005 --> 00:46:40,046 Booyah! 845 00:46:40,214 --> 00:46:42,716 That's what we call a "Sack lunch"! Yum, yum, yum, yum. 846 00:46:44,302 --> 00:46:45,510 Ow, burn. 847 00:46:46,345 --> 00:46:47,929 [SCREAMING] 848 00:46:48,181 --> 00:46:49,723 Big tree fall hard, right? 849 00:46:49,891 --> 00:46:52,726 How many fingers I got up? Come on, Pepe, how many fingers I got up? 850 00:46:52,894 --> 00:46:55,020 Oh, come on, I got four. Okay, here's five. 851 00:46:55,188 --> 00:46:58,899 Man down! We got a man down. You okay? 852 00:46:59,066 --> 00:47:01,026 Hey, is your brother okay? 853 00:47:01,194 --> 00:47:03,653 -What? Ah, he's fine. -I can't breathe. 854 00:47:03,821 --> 00:47:05,572 SACK: What's that? -I can't breathe. 855 00:47:05,740 --> 00:47:08,658 No, no, no, I think he's really hurt. 856 00:47:08,826 --> 00:47:11,453 Well, serves him right after that throw. 857 00:47:11,621 --> 00:47:13,413 Hey. Baba ganoush. 858 00:47:13,581 --> 00:47:15,790 I don't know what got into me, secretary, I just-- 859 00:47:15,958 --> 00:47:19,836 I do. Five generations of Lodge family breeding. 860 00:47:20,004 --> 00:47:21,963 [GROWLING AND CHUCKLING] 861 00:47:22,256 --> 00:47:25,217 -Your father used to pull the same stunt... -I can't breathe. 862 00:47:25,384 --> 00:47:27,385 -...when we were your age. -I can't breathe. 863 00:47:27,553 --> 00:47:28,762 You okay? 864 00:47:28,930 --> 00:47:31,056 [WHISPERING] Great. You threw it perfectly. 865 00:47:31,224 --> 00:47:33,099 Come on, get up. 866 00:47:33,267 --> 00:47:35,310 -Don't oversell it. -I'm not selling anything. 867 00:47:35,478 --> 00:47:39,231 Come on, stop milking it. You make us look like a bunch of pussies. 868 00:47:39,398 --> 00:47:41,608 Jeremy. Sit this play out. 869 00:47:42,026 --> 00:47:44,152 Todd, come on in. 870 00:47:45,029 --> 00:47:46,613 You must be joking. 871 00:47:46,781 --> 00:47:50,325 It wouldn't kill you to play some competitive sports... 872 00:47:50,493 --> 00:47:51,910 ...once in a while, would it? 873 00:47:52,078 --> 00:47:53,787 Oh, would that make you love me? 874 00:47:53,955 --> 00:47:55,705 Pfft. Jesus. 875 00:47:56,499 --> 00:47:59,292 Hey, Jeremy, Red Moon Dog 7-11. 876 00:47:59,460 --> 00:48:01,294 Forty-two, 30-teen. 877 00:48:01,462 --> 00:48:03,171 Hut one! Hut two! 878 00:48:03,339 --> 00:48:04,464 Blitz! 879 00:48:04,632 --> 00:48:06,925 -Oh! Ah! -Jeremy! 880 00:48:07,301 --> 00:48:09,052 [GRUNTING] 881 00:48:09,220 --> 00:48:10,637 [GASPING] 882 00:48:10,805 --> 00:48:12,347 -That looked like it hurt. -Ooh. 883 00:48:12,515 --> 00:48:14,099 -I got you. JEREMY: No, you didn't. 884 00:48:14,267 --> 00:48:16,309 -You're cheating. -You're cheating. 885 00:48:16,477 --> 00:48:19,729 Oh, my God. Your brother, he's down again. 886 00:48:22,358 --> 00:48:24,943 What is his deal? 887 00:48:25,111 --> 00:48:27,279 I don't know what's getting into me today, guys. 888 00:48:27,446 --> 00:48:31,366 Nature versus nurture, Lodge. Nature always wins. 889 00:48:31,534 --> 00:48:33,201 What are you doing? It's a game of touch. 890 00:48:33,369 --> 00:48:35,287 Every time I look over, you're on your ass again. 891 00:48:35,454 --> 00:48:37,664 If I had any air in my lungs, I'd scream at you. 892 00:48:37,832 --> 00:48:39,124 Oh, now you're gonna blame me? 893 00:48:39,292 --> 00:48:41,918 Because you're not athletic enough to stay on your two feet? 894 00:48:42,086 --> 00:48:43,169 I hate you. 895 00:48:43,337 --> 00:48:44,629 Let's take a daiquiri time-out. 896 00:48:44,797 --> 00:48:46,256 -Daiquiris. -Daiquiris. 897 00:48:48,175 --> 00:48:49,175 Oh. 898 00:48:49,343 --> 00:48:51,845 Sweetheart, why don't you take him into the house and fix him up? 899 00:48:52,013 --> 00:48:53,805 -Sure, Mom. -No, don't baby him. 900 00:48:53,973 --> 00:48:55,599 It just makes it worse. 901 00:48:56,475 --> 00:48:57,767 JEREMY: Oh, my back hurts. 902 00:48:57,935 --> 00:49:00,270 Oh, great. Game's over. Satisfied? 903 00:49:00,438 --> 00:49:03,148 You got everyone on you now. Get all the attention. 904 00:49:03,316 --> 00:49:04,524 GLORIA: Come on, baby. 905 00:49:06,027 --> 00:49:07,694 It's hot out here. 906 00:49:07,862 --> 00:49:09,446 -Yeah, it is. -Yeah. 907 00:49:09,614 --> 00:49:12,115 You should have played in your underwear. 908 00:49:13,242 --> 00:49:15,368 I'll get you a drink. 909 00:49:20,207 --> 00:49:23,209 Oh, Jesus Christ. Hss, it burns. 910 00:49:23,377 --> 00:49:25,879 -It stings. Oh, Jesus. GLORIA: Poor baby. 911 00:49:26,047 --> 00:49:27,505 You want me to blow on it? 912 00:49:27,673 --> 00:49:29,633 No. No, no, no. 913 00:49:29,800 --> 00:49:31,843 No, I don't need any blowing. I'm good. Thank you. 914 00:49:32,011 --> 00:49:33,970 Jeremy, I'm not wearing any panties. 915 00:49:35,181 --> 00:49:36,765 -That's right. -Oh. Yeah-- 916 00:49:36,932 --> 00:49:38,892 Okay. That's fun. That's nice. 917 00:49:39,060 --> 00:49:40,727 Okay. Oh, oh, yeah. 918 00:49:40,895 --> 00:49:42,854 Oh, yeah, that's fun. Yeah, that's fun. 919 00:49:43,022 --> 00:49:45,231 Okay, Gloria. You need to stop. Yeah, that's fun. 920 00:49:45,900 --> 00:49:47,233 That's fun. That's fun. 921 00:49:47,401 --> 00:49:48,401 [CLEARS THROAT] 922 00:49:50,196 --> 00:49:53,406 Don't you worry, Gloria. Mum's the word. 923 00:49:53,574 --> 00:49:54,991 Thank you, Randolph. 924 00:49:56,160 --> 00:50:00,038 -A little more discreet, though, okay? GLORIA: Hee, hee. 925 00:50:04,502 --> 00:50:05,960 Jesus Christ. 926 00:50:06,128 --> 00:50:08,546 Don't worry, he won't say anything. 927 00:50:09,423 --> 00:50:12,092 I'm confused. Like eight hours ago you were a shy little virgin... 928 00:50:12,259 --> 00:50:15,220 ...and now you're not wearing any panties. I'm trying to catch up with you. 929 00:50:15,388 --> 00:50:16,930 You do that to me. Ooh. 930 00:50:17,098 --> 00:50:18,765 -Where's my little friend? -No, no, no. 931 00:50:18,933 --> 00:50:20,433 -Where's my little friend? -He's tired. 932 00:50:20,601 --> 00:50:22,435 He's in time-out. He's in time-out. 933 00:50:22,603 --> 00:50:26,272 Gloria, please. I'm exhausted. I'm exhausted. I've had a very long day. 934 00:50:26,440 --> 00:50:30,110 I had your sister's boyfriend dry-hump me up and down the field all afternoon. 935 00:50:30,277 --> 00:50:34,948 My leg's cut and bleeding. I'm just-- I'm not really in the mood for this. 936 00:50:35,408 --> 00:50:37,367 -Fine! -Ow, Jesus Christ! 937 00:50:37,535 --> 00:50:39,994 My father warned me about people like you, Jeremy. 938 00:50:40,204 --> 00:50:43,790 -I'm just another notch on your belt. -It's not like that. It's not like that. 939 00:50:43,958 --> 00:50:46,292 Really? Then what's it like, Jeremy, huh? 940 00:50:46,460 --> 00:50:47,502 -Ow! Ow! -Huh? 941 00:50:47,670 --> 00:50:48,795 No! Wait! Wait! 942 00:50:48,963 --> 00:50:51,339 It's just that I'm feeling very strongly... 943 00:50:51,507 --> 00:50:55,468 ...that we're only expressing ourselves in a physical, sexual-specifically way. 944 00:50:55,636 --> 00:50:57,804 That's it! Wait! 945 00:50:57,972 --> 00:51:01,766 And I'd like to play some catch-up on finding out who's inside here. 946 00:51:03,811 --> 00:51:05,645 Okay? 947 00:51:06,731 --> 00:51:08,314 -Jeremy. -Heh, heh. 948 00:51:08,482 --> 00:51:11,651 -Jeremy, you're amazing. -Oh, God, I think you're amazing. 949 00:51:11,819 --> 00:51:15,029 -Oh, my God, don't ever leave me. Good. -Ever. 950 00:51:15,197 --> 00:51:17,073 [IN BABY VOICE] Because I'd find you. 951 00:51:17,241 --> 00:51:18,825 [CACKLING] 952 00:51:19,744 --> 00:51:21,369 Yeah. 953 00:51:21,537 --> 00:51:24,539 [IN NORMAL VOICE] Of course, like all kids, I had imaginary friends, but not just one. 954 00:51:24,749 --> 00:51:27,167 I had hundreds, and all of them from different backgrounds... 955 00:51:27,334 --> 00:51:30,044 ...who spoke different languages. One of them, his name was Caleb... 956 00:51:30,212 --> 00:51:33,506 ...he spoke a magical language that only I could understand. 957 00:51:33,674 --> 00:51:35,675 [GIBBERING] 958 00:51:36,677 --> 00:51:37,719 [CLEARY GIBBERING] 959 00:51:37,887 --> 00:51:39,220 Get him all patched up? 960 00:51:39,388 --> 00:51:41,639 I sure did, Daddy. 961 00:51:42,475 --> 00:51:44,017 Gloria bug. 962 00:51:44,185 --> 00:51:46,227 You go change for dinner. 963 00:51:46,395 --> 00:51:48,354 Okay. 964 00:51:51,150 --> 00:51:52,984 Phew. 965 00:51:53,152 --> 00:51:56,613 You know, she's not just another notch on the old belt. 966 00:51:59,492 --> 00:52:02,118 I don't even wear a belt. Beltless. 967 00:52:03,204 --> 00:52:05,038 I'm a very powerful man. 968 00:52:06,165 --> 00:52:07,207 Yes, you are. 969 00:52:11,378 --> 00:52:12,754 See you for dinner. 970 00:52:15,382 --> 00:52:17,884 SACK: So I am president of the Environment Defense League. 971 00:52:18,052 --> 00:52:20,929 And I pick up this little sea otter... 972 00:52:21,096 --> 00:52:23,723 ...and wipe off the oil from the tanker spill. 973 00:52:23,891 --> 00:52:26,643 You gotta step this up already. I'm gonna give you the damn eye drops. 974 00:52:26,811 --> 00:52:28,686 No, I don't want them. It's too hardcore. 975 00:52:28,854 --> 00:52:30,647 JEREMY: Do you want to be alone with her? JOHN: Yes. 976 00:52:30,815 --> 00:52:34,400 Put these in his drink and he'll be going down on a toilet seat for the next 24 hours. 977 00:52:34,568 --> 00:52:39,739 I don't wanna do it. I can beat this guy. Let's be honorable for once. 978 00:52:39,907 --> 00:52:40,949 [WHIMPERING] 979 00:52:41,116 --> 00:52:42,158 And the whiskers. 980 00:52:42,326 --> 00:52:44,327 [CONTINUES WHIMPERING] 981 00:52:44,745 --> 00:52:46,454 And the oil's-- The oil's flapping, he goes: 982 00:52:46,622 --> 00:52:48,081 [COUGHING AND WHIMPERING] 983 00:52:48,457 --> 00:52:50,917 -Give me the eye drops. -Thank you. 984 00:52:55,130 --> 00:52:56,881 Perfect. 985 00:52:57,049 --> 00:52:59,008 [CHATTERING] 986 00:53:04,765 --> 00:53:06,099 [CLINKING ON GLASS] 987 00:53:07,226 --> 00:53:09,352 Let us bow our heads in prayer. 988 00:53:15,276 --> 00:53:16,401 Heavenly Father... 989 00:53:17,570 --> 00:53:20,780 ...we thank you for thy bounty on this table... 990 00:53:20,948 --> 00:53:23,616 ...and ask that you bless the entire Cleary family... 991 00:53:23,784 --> 00:53:26,119 ...and all the friends here assembled. 992 00:53:26,287 --> 00:53:28,705 -Amen. -Amen. 993 00:53:31,667 --> 00:53:33,918 Oh, these scallops look fantastic. 994 00:53:34,086 --> 00:53:37,964 I bought them from an organic scallop farm right off the coast of Nattachoke. 995 00:53:38,132 --> 00:53:42,093 CLAIRE: Actually, Sack got the governor to subsidize part of the project. 996 00:53:42,261 --> 00:53:44,971 And now it's the state's only self-sustaining scallop farm. 997 00:53:45,139 --> 00:53:47,974 Say that five times fast. You can't do it. Self-sustaining-- 998 00:53:48,142 --> 00:53:49,309 [CHUCKLING] 999 00:53:49,476 --> 00:53:51,686 JEREMY: They look terrific. Maybe I'll actually try some... 1000 00:53:51,896 --> 00:53:55,148 ...when I get the sensation back in my face. From the football game. 1001 00:53:55,316 --> 00:53:59,611 Again, Jeremy, I'm sorry. You know, I have this damn competitive streak, um. 1002 00:53:59,778 --> 00:54:02,322 -I'm seeing a Buddhist about it. -Not just any Buddhist. 1003 00:54:02,489 --> 00:54:05,158 His Holiness, the Dalai Lama. He's a good friend. 1004 00:54:05,326 --> 00:54:07,911 Stop traffic. Because when I go back to town... 1005 00:54:08,078 --> 00:54:10,914 ...I'm actually gonna see an orthopedist about what you did to my back. 1006 00:54:11,081 --> 00:54:13,333 Not just any orthopedist. I'm gonna see a Dr. Epstein-- 1007 00:54:13,500 --> 00:54:17,003 Hey, Sack, how long have you and Claire been seeing each other? 1008 00:54:17,171 --> 00:54:20,048 Claire and I? What's it been, sweetheart? A couple years? 1009 00:54:20,841 --> 00:54:22,008 Three and a half. 1010 00:54:22,176 --> 00:54:25,970 Yeah, actually, we started dating while we were doing Habitat for Humanity. 1011 00:54:26,138 --> 00:54:27,180 Sure. 1012 00:54:27,348 --> 00:54:30,350 Pretty soon we'll be getting married. 1013 00:54:31,143 --> 00:54:32,352 Yep. 1014 00:54:32,519 --> 00:54:35,021 Well, not too soon, um.... 1015 00:54:35,189 --> 00:54:38,274 We still have a lot of things that we want to accomplish. 1016 00:54:38,442 --> 00:54:41,277 Anyway, once Claire and Sack tie the knot... 1017 00:54:41,445 --> 00:54:44,697 ...two of the great American families, the Clearys and the Lodges... 1018 00:54:44,865 --> 00:54:46,282 -...will finally unite. -Hear, hear. 1019 00:54:46,450 --> 00:54:48,701 And then, of course, you can challenge the Klingons... 1020 00:54:48,869 --> 00:54:50,703 ...for interstellar domination, right? 1021 00:54:50,871 --> 00:54:52,038 [LAUGHING] 1022 00:54:54,708 --> 00:54:57,877 Jeremy. I saw you on the dance floor. 1023 00:55:02,675 --> 00:55:04,092 You move pretty good. 1024 00:55:04,259 --> 00:55:06,094 Oh, thanks a lot. 1025 00:55:06,261 --> 00:55:08,221 I really just got lucky. 1026 00:55:08,389 --> 00:55:10,431 I was more in the zone than anything else. 1027 00:55:10,599 --> 00:55:12,684 It was the booze dancing, heh, heh. 1028 00:55:12,851 --> 00:55:14,852 [LAUGHING] 1029 00:55:15,104 --> 00:55:17,897 Sorry, guys, I forgot. How are you connected to the family again? 1030 00:55:18,065 --> 00:55:19,565 Uncle Ned's kids. 1031 00:55:21,360 --> 00:55:22,694 You know, Uncle Ned? 1032 00:55:22,861 --> 00:55:25,863 Aunt Liz's brother. Ned and Liz. 1033 00:55:27,282 --> 00:55:30,368 SACK: Hm. No, I don't know. CLEARY: So, Jeremy... 1034 00:55:30,536 --> 00:55:32,912 ...you and your brother are venture capitalists. 1035 00:55:33,080 --> 00:55:35,540 -That's right. -That's great. 1036 00:55:35,708 --> 00:55:39,127 Venture capitalist. The backbone of the system. 1037 00:55:39,294 --> 00:55:41,087 -It's the new pioneer. O'NEIL: New pioneer. 1038 00:55:41,255 --> 00:55:42,755 So is it just about the money? 1039 00:55:43,424 --> 00:55:46,217 No, no, it's about... 1040 00:55:46,385 --> 00:55:49,721 ...investing in companies that are ethically and morally defensible. 1041 00:55:49,888 --> 00:55:53,224 -Like what? Give me an example. -Like what? Well, there's the company... 1042 00:55:53,392 --> 00:55:58,604 ...that we have where we're taking the fur or the wool from sheep... 1043 00:55:58,772 --> 00:56:02,442 ...and we turn it into thread for homeless people to sew. 1044 00:56:02,609 --> 00:56:06,821 And then they make it into cloth, which they in turn sew... 1045 00:56:06,989 --> 00:56:10,825 ...then make little shirts and pants... 1046 00:56:10,993 --> 00:56:14,495 ...for other homeless people to sell. It's a pretty good deal. 1047 00:56:14,663 --> 00:56:16,330 -People helping people. JOHN: Yeah. 1048 00:56:16,498 --> 00:56:18,583 That's very admirable. 1049 00:56:18,751 --> 00:56:21,627 Thank you. Although don't make me out to be a saint just yet. 1050 00:56:21,795 --> 00:56:23,546 We do turn a small profit. 1051 00:56:23,714 --> 00:56:29,469 After all, someone has to pay for the lap dances for the big guy here. 1052 00:56:29,636 --> 00:56:33,514 He's joking around. It feels so good when he jokes. 1053 00:56:33,682 --> 00:56:35,141 What's this company called? 1054 00:56:35,309 --> 00:56:38,144 -Holy sh-- -Shirts & Pants. Holy Shirts & Pants. 1055 00:56:38,312 --> 00:56:40,063 It's a little corny and obvious... 1056 00:56:40,230 --> 00:56:42,648 ...but what do you get out of being subtle, right? 1057 00:56:42,816 --> 00:56:45,151 Well, that's a hell of a good project. 1058 00:56:45,319 --> 00:56:47,653 I'm gonna mention something to the commerce secretary. 1059 00:56:47,821 --> 00:56:49,989 That would be terrific. That would be great, huh? 1060 00:56:50,157 --> 00:56:51,657 Terrific, it was terrific. 1061 00:56:52,367 --> 00:56:55,369 Isn't my Willy doing a wonderful job there in Washington? 1062 00:56:55,537 --> 00:56:59,290 -Mommy. -You know, Willy's father, my husband... 1063 00:56:59,458 --> 00:57:00,792 [GURGLING] 1064 00:57:00,959 --> 00:57:04,378 ...was the secretary of state for President Franklin Roosevelt. 1065 00:57:05,089 --> 00:57:07,590 That must have been so thrilling. FDR. 1066 00:57:07,758 --> 00:57:10,551 My gosh, FDR was a wonderful President. 1067 00:57:10,719 --> 00:57:12,512 MARY: He was a doll. 1068 00:57:12,679 --> 00:57:15,348 The wife, though, Eleanor? 1069 00:57:15,516 --> 00:57:17,517 -Big dyke. CLAIRE: Oh, Lord. 1070 00:57:17,684 --> 00:57:20,228 Huge dyke. A real rug muncher. 1071 00:57:20,687 --> 00:57:24,690 Looked like a big lesbian mule. 1072 00:57:26,360 --> 00:57:29,862 Grandma, you can't talk like that, okay? It's not right. 1073 00:57:30,030 --> 00:57:31,989 Somebody get me another Scotch for chrissakes. 1074 00:57:32,157 --> 00:57:33,866 I think I'm gonna go to bed. 1075 00:57:34,034 --> 00:57:36,119 CLAIRE: Honey, are you okay? SACK: Oh, yeah. 1076 00:57:36,286 --> 00:57:38,454 I'm fine. You know, I'm just a little tired. Thanks. 1077 00:57:38,622 --> 00:57:40,832 -Okay. -You all right? 1078 00:57:40,999 --> 00:57:43,501 Oh, yeah. Yeah. 1079 00:57:45,420 --> 00:57:47,839 What an athlete. A tremendous competitor. 1080 00:57:48,006 --> 00:57:50,341 I know. 1081 00:57:50,509 --> 00:57:53,386 Todd, I noticed that you haven't even touched your food yet. 1082 00:57:53,554 --> 00:57:56,180 -I don't eat meat or fish. -He's a homo. 1083 00:57:56,348 --> 00:57:57,849 [LAUGHING] 1084 00:57:58,058 --> 00:58:00,893 CLEARY: Mommy, let's not go there again. 1085 00:58:01,061 --> 00:58:04,230 Actually, Todd is an amazing painter. 1086 00:58:04,398 --> 00:58:06,566 He's going to the Rhode Island School of Design. 1087 00:58:06,733 --> 00:58:09,360 JOHN: Oh, that's a great school. Congratulations, Todd. 1088 00:58:09,528 --> 00:58:11,404 That's really impressive. RISD. 1089 00:58:11,572 --> 00:58:14,782 Yeah, Dad used to think I'd be a political liability... 1090 00:58:14,950 --> 00:58:17,285 ...you know, in case he ever ran for president. 1091 00:58:17,452 --> 00:58:20,580 Now, Todd. Actually, truth be told... 1092 00:58:20,747 --> 00:58:23,749 ...polling shows a majority of the American people... 1093 00:58:23,917 --> 00:58:27,795 ...would ultimately empathize with our situation. 1094 00:58:27,963 --> 00:58:31,132 -What is our situation, Dad? -You're a homo. 1095 00:58:31,300 --> 00:58:34,594 Oh, for God sakes, William, put Mommy to bed already. 1096 00:58:34,761 --> 00:58:37,430 Okay. Mommy, we've had a long day. 1097 00:58:37,806 --> 00:58:39,891 I can do it myself, asshole. 1098 00:58:43,312 --> 00:58:44,645 Wow 1099 00:58:45,689 --> 00:58:47,106 I'll be in my room painting. 1100 00:58:47,941 --> 00:58:49,442 Homo things. 1101 00:58:50,152 --> 00:58:52,904 You just go right ahead, Toddy. 1102 00:58:54,156 --> 00:58:57,825 WOMAN: Wonderful scallops. CLEARY: Absolutely. Wonderful. 1103 00:58:57,993 --> 00:59:01,120 You know, I think I'm gonna get some air. 1104 00:59:01,288 --> 00:59:03,789 Oh, I'll get some air if you want some company. 1105 00:59:04,499 --> 00:59:06,918 -Sure. JOHN: Let me just change my shoes. 1106 00:59:07,085 --> 00:59:09,128 -Excuse me. -All right. I'm gonna-- 1107 00:59:09,296 --> 00:59:12,465 Can't walk away from the delicious food that we got here. 1108 00:59:15,469 --> 00:59:16,802 [DOOR SLAMS] 1109 00:59:21,725 --> 00:59:23,517 I just had my tits done. 1110 00:59:24,645 --> 00:59:26,145 You like them? 1111 00:59:27,022 --> 00:59:30,650 Those seem like lovely tits. 1112 00:59:30,817 --> 00:59:33,361 William doesn't give a shit about my tits. 1113 00:59:33,528 --> 00:59:35,655 Well, darn him. 1114 00:59:35,822 --> 00:59:38,074 But, Mrs. Cleary, this is pretty sudden. 1115 00:59:38,242 --> 00:59:41,827 You've been playing cat and mouse with me ever since you came here. 1116 00:59:41,995 --> 00:59:44,372 -Mrs. Cleary, I don't-- -Call me Cat. 1117 00:59:44,957 --> 00:59:49,126 -Okay, Cat-- -Call me Kitty Cat. Rowr. 1118 00:59:50,170 --> 00:59:56,300 Okay, Kitty Cat, this feels borderline inappropriate, and-- 1119 00:59:56,468 --> 00:59:57,802 -Feel them. -What? 1120 00:59:57,970 --> 00:59:59,679 -I said, feel them. -Mrs. Cleary-- 1121 00:59:59,846 --> 01:00:01,514 Kitty Cat. 1122 01:00:01,682 --> 01:00:05,017 I'm sorry, Kitty Cat. Are you out of your fucking mind? 1123 01:00:05,185 --> 01:00:07,603 I'm not letting you out of this room... 1124 01:00:07,771 --> 01:00:10,273 ...until you feel them. 1125 01:00:21,034 --> 01:00:24,370 Wow, they feel really nice. Real orb-like. 1126 01:00:24,913 --> 01:00:27,540 It's amazing what they can do to-- 1127 01:00:28,542 --> 01:00:30,543 Pervert. 1128 01:00:40,554 --> 01:00:42,972 TODD: Mom make you feel her tits? 1129 01:00:46,727 --> 01:00:48,352 Did you say something, Todd? 1130 01:00:49,062 --> 01:00:51,897 Mom make you feel her tits? 1131 01:00:52,899 --> 01:00:55,026 Todd, where are you going with this? 1132 01:00:55,193 --> 01:00:58,779 Just don't say anything to my dad, though. 1133 01:00:59,072 --> 01:01:01,824 Some friend of my sister's... 1134 01:01:01,992 --> 01:01:05,119 ...she said something to my dad a couple of years ago... 1135 01:01:05,954 --> 01:01:08,789 ...he now lives in a shack in Guam. 1136 01:01:09,207 --> 01:01:10,374 Not by choice. 1137 01:01:11,752 --> 01:01:14,920 Stop kidding with me, Todd. You almost had me. 1138 01:01:15,088 --> 01:01:16,714 Come on. 1139 01:01:25,057 --> 01:01:27,350 -John, I need to talk to you. -No, not right now. 1140 01:01:27,517 --> 01:01:31,395 What's wrong with you? Why you got the weird look all over your face? 1141 01:01:31,563 --> 01:01:33,773 Claire's mom just made me grab her hooters. 1142 01:01:33,940 --> 01:01:37,318 Well, snap out of it! What? A hot older woman made you feel her cans? 1143 01:01:37,486 --> 01:01:40,446 -Stop crying like a little girl. -I wasn't crying like a little girl. 1144 01:01:40,614 --> 01:01:43,240 Try getting jacked off under the table in front of the family... 1145 01:01:43,408 --> 01:01:46,702 ...and have some real problems. Jackass. 1146 01:01:46,870 --> 01:01:49,455 What were they like? They look pretty good. Are they real? 1147 01:01:49,623 --> 01:01:52,249 Are they built for speed or for comfort? What'd you do with them? 1148 01:01:52,417 --> 01:01:54,960 Motorboat? You play the motorboat? Pbbbbt. 1149 01:01:55,754 --> 01:01:58,798 You motorboating son of a bitch. You old sailor, you. 1150 01:01:58,965 --> 01:02:00,883 Where is she? She still in the house? 1151 01:02:01,051 --> 01:02:02,635 What is wrong with you? 1152 01:02:02,803 --> 01:02:04,303 What do you--? What's wrong with you? 1153 01:02:04,471 --> 01:02:06,222 -What's wrong with you? -What's wrong with you? 1154 01:02:06,390 --> 01:02:07,473 -You're projecting. -Drop it. 1155 01:02:07,641 --> 01:02:09,642 You drop it. You stop projecting on me. 1156 01:02:09,810 --> 01:02:12,395 You go enjoy yourself while I go ice my balls and spit up blood. 1157 01:02:12,562 --> 01:02:15,106 JOHN: Drop it! -"Team player." 1158 01:02:33,417 --> 01:02:34,750 [JEREMY CLEARS THROAT] 1159 01:02:39,172 --> 01:02:42,591 Oh, Mr. President. 1160 01:02:50,934 --> 01:02:52,059 [SCREAMS] 1161 01:02:52,769 --> 01:02:53,936 What do you want? 1162 01:02:54,396 --> 01:02:55,688 You're in my room. 1163 01:02:56,690 --> 01:02:58,691 Oh, dear. 1164 01:03:00,402 --> 01:03:04,989 I'm too drunk to walk, so carry me to my room. 1165 01:03:06,741 --> 01:03:08,284 Carry you? 1166 01:03:09,161 --> 01:03:10,202 Sure. 1167 01:03:16,334 --> 01:03:19,044 RANDOLPH: You banging the daughter and the grandma? 1168 01:03:19,212 --> 01:03:21,672 -How much jam you got, man? -Jam? 1169 01:03:21,840 --> 01:03:24,967 Listen, man. The family dog live downstairs. 1170 01:03:25,135 --> 01:03:28,387 I can wake him up for you if you like. His name is Snooky. 1171 01:03:28,555 --> 01:03:32,725 -You could not be more wrong-- -Just be gentle with her, okay? 1172 01:03:32,893 --> 01:03:35,728 She be pushing 90. 1173 01:03:40,734 --> 01:03:42,902 Jesus Christ. 1174 01:03:52,913 --> 01:03:56,207 Hey. Good thing I didn't hold my breath. 1175 01:03:56,374 --> 01:03:58,792 Yeah, I'm sorry, I just, uh.... 1176 01:03:59,669 --> 01:04:01,545 Sorry I'm late, I just.... 1177 01:04:01,713 --> 01:04:02,880 You okay? 1178 01:04:03,048 --> 01:04:05,257 No, no, I'm fine, I just.... 1179 01:04:05,425 --> 01:04:07,801 I just got held up. 1180 01:04:09,262 --> 01:04:11,514 My family's a little strange. 1181 01:04:12,432 --> 01:04:13,599 A little strange? 1182 01:04:13,767 --> 01:04:16,393 Come on. Claire. 1183 01:04:16,561 --> 01:04:19,438 Your family are totally nuts. 1184 01:04:20,273 --> 01:04:23,067 -And guess what. -What? 1185 01:04:23,235 --> 01:04:25,236 -I love it. -You do? 1186 01:04:25,403 --> 01:04:27,238 -Yeah, it seems great. -Really? 1187 01:04:27,405 --> 01:04:29,114 -Yes. -I get a little self-conscious. 1188 01:04:29,282 --> 01:04:31,534 It's a family. You're mixing it up. 1189 01:04:31,701 --> 01:04:34,119 You got the sweet little grandma who's really sweet... 1190 01:04:34,287 --> 01:04:37,456 ...with her, like, little, like, white hair, but then she's kind of mean. 1191 01:04:37,624 --> 01:04:42,002 But you're like, "Well, fuck it, she's so old, and she's not gonna change now." 1192 01:04:42,170 --> 01:04:44,296 Shit, it was great. 1193 01:04:44,464 --> 01:04:47,633 I just hope I didn't embarrass myself with that stupid joke I told. 1194 01:04:47,801 --> 01:04:49,760 Are you kidding? That was so funny. 1195 01:04:49,928 --> 01:04:53,472 -No, really? Really? -Yeah. Yeah, you're like that crazy guest... 1196 01:04:53,640 --> 01:04:55,641 ...who thinks he's part of the family. It's great. 1197 01:04:55,809 --> 01:04:57,851 Doesn't sound that great. That sounds horrible. 1198 01:04:58,019 --> 01:05:00,437 -No, it's cute. -The crazy guest who thinks he's... 1199 01:05:00,605 --> 01:05:03,732 ...like, part of the family who's gonna say inappropriate stuff? What is that? 1200 01:05:03,900 --> 01:05:06,402 Yeah. You know, you break the ice. 1201 01:05:06,570 --> 01:05:08,445 -Yeah. -It can be so stuffy sometimes in there. 1202 01:05:08,613 --> 01:05:09,947 CLEARY: Claire? 1203 01:05:10,115 --> 01:05:12,283 CLAIRE: Yeah? -There you are. 1204 01:05:12,450 --> 01:05:15,160 Have you checked on Sack? I think he's pretty sick. 1205 01:05:15,328 --> 01:05:17,079 -Oh, really? CLEARY: Yeah. 1206 01:05:17,247 --> 01:05:20,666 Okay. Yeah. No, I'll be right in. 1207 01:05:20,834 --> 01:05:23,085 -I should-- I should go check on him. JOHN: Yeah, sure, okay. 1208 01:05:23,253 --> 01:05:26,422 Yeah, we'll take a walk some other time. 1209 01:05:27,924 --> 01:05:29,174 Claire. 1210 01:05:29,342 --> 01:05:30,676 Mm-hm? 1211 01:05:33,305 --> 01:05:35,180 I'll talk to you later. 1212 01:05:36,099 --> 01:05:37,600 Okay. 1213 01:05:49,529 --> 01:05:51,155 CLAIRE: Oh, no. 1214 01:05:51,323 --> 01:05:53,198 Are you okay? 1215 01:05:53,366 --> 01:05:55,618 Well, Claire... 1216 01:05:55,785 --> 01:05:57,369 ...my head's buried in a toilet. 1217 01:05:57,537 --> 01:05:59,830 What do you think? Why don't you do the math, okay? 1218 01:06:01,625 --> 01:06:05,002 Honey, it's okay to be vulnerable sometimes. It's just me. 1219 01:06:05,170 --> 01:06:08,714 Yeah, you can just cut that psychobabble bullshit that your mom tells you, okay? 1220 01:06:08,882 --> 01:06:10,883 -Right. -Hey, you wanna help me out? 1221 01:06:11,051 --> 01:06:14,386 Do you? Do you, kid? Why don't you go get me a 7-Up, okay? 1222 01:06:14,888 --> 01:06:18,390 All right, because I think I'm-- I think I might get vulnerable again. 1223 01:06:32,530 --> 01:06:34,573 -What the fuck is going on? -Shh. 1224 01:06:34,741 --> 01:06:36,075 [SHUSHING] 1225 01:06:36,242 --> 01:06:37,910 You'll wake my dad. 1226 01:06:38,495 --> 01:06:40,746 Baby, I started thinking about what you said before... 1227 01:06:40,914 --> 01:06:44,583 ...and I think the problem is I am not being adventurous enough for you. 1228 01:06:44,751 --> 01:06:47,628 Gloria, I am pretty sure that is not what I've been saying to you. 1229 01:06:47,796 --> 01:06:48,837 Shh. 1230 01:06:50,006 --> 01:06:51,090 Baby... 1231 01:06:51,257 --> 01:06:55,427 ...I'm gonna make all your fantasies come true. 1232 01:06:55,595 --> 01:06:57,012 But this is not a fant-- 1233 01:06:57,180 --> 01:06:59,181 [SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY] 1234 01:07:00,600 --> 01:07:01,934 I love you. 1235 01:07:02,102 --> 01:07:04,103 [MUFFLED SCREAMING] 1236 01:08:43,161 --> 01:08:45,162 [GRUNTING] 1237 01:08:48,208 --> 01:08:49,708 [VOMITING] 1238 01:09:02,972 --> 01:09:05,182 Gloria, go to sleep, honey. 1239 01:09:05,600 --> 01:09:06,975 It's not Gloria. 1240 01:09:09,354 --> 01:09:10,729 Jesus Christ. 1241 01:09:10,897 --> 01:09:12,564 We had a moment at the dinner table. 1242 01:09:12,732 --> 01:09:14,483 We did not have a moment at the dinner table. 1243 01:09:14,651 --> 01:09:16,693 Yes. We had a moment. 1244 01:09:16,861 --> 01:09:19,238 I was there. I would have noticed if there was a moment. 1245 01:09:20,698 --> 01:09:22,324 I made you a painting. 1246 01:09:22,492 --> 01:09:24,076 What? 1247 01:09:24,619 --> 01:09:26,328 TODD: I call the painting "Celebration." 1248 01:09:26,788 --> 01:09:29,039 It's sexual and violent. 1249 01:09:30,250 --> 01:09:32,000 I thought you might like it. 1250 01:09:33,169 --> 01:09:34,211 No. 1251 01:09:34,379 --> 01:09:35,712 [DOOR SLAMS] 1252 01:09:36,339 --> 01:09:38,090 CLEARY: Where's that coming from? You hear that? 1253 01:09:39,008 --> 01:09:41,593 -Hide! You gotta hide! Yes. -No. They need to know about us. 1254 01:09:41,761 --> 01:09:44,555 -It's okay. -Hide, hide, hide! Please, please, please. 1255 01:09:46,307 --> 01:09:49,768 Not there. Not there! I'm not comfortable-- I'm not comfortable with that! 1256 01:09:49,936 --> 01:09:52,104 -Let's play tummy sticks. -What's tummy sticks? 1257 01:09:52,272 --> 01:09:53,981 I don't want to play. Get in the closet. 1258 01:09:54,148 --> 01:09:56,108 It's okay, I was where you were a year ago. 1259 01:09:56,276 --> 01:09:59,152 Get in the fucking closet right now. You go get in the closet! 1260 01:09:59,320 --> 01:10:02,364 You go get in the closet! You go get in the closet! 1261 01:10:02,532 --> 01:10:03,949 Go. 1262 01:10:07,287 --> 01:10:08,829 I'll pop out at the right moment. 1263 01:10:08,997 --> 01:10:11,081 JEREMY: No, you will not. 1264 01:10:16,129 --> 01:10:20,173 Everything okay in here? I thought I heard something. 1265 01:10:20,341 --> 01:10:21,800 I was just having a bad dream. 1266 01:10:26,014 --> 01:10:28,765 I know about bad dreams. 1267 01:10:29,934 --> 01:10:33,061 You know, Todd... 1268 01:10:33,605 --> 01:10:38,233 ...screams at night sometimes. 1269 01:10:38,735 --> 01:10:43,322 You know, the doctors call it night terrors. I don't know. 1270 01:11:03,009 --> 01:11:04,343 [MUTTERING] 1271 01:11:04,510 --> 01:11:05,928 Okay, then. 1272 01:11:06,554 --> 01:11:08,597 Sleep well. 1273 01:11:10,725 --> 01:11:12,059 [DOOR SHUTS] 1274 01:11:15,855 --> 01:11:18,398 There's nothing terrifying about the night. 1275 01:11:18,566 --> 01:11:22,361 Now, listen, if you let me go to bed and get some sleep... 1276 01:11:22,528 --> 01:11:24,112 ...then we can talk tomorrow. 1277 01:11:24,280 --> 01:11:26,615 -You won't make time for me. -If I get my sleep... 1278 01:11:26,783 --> 01:11:29,952 ...I'd love to make time and talk about, uh, different things. 1279 01:11:30,119 --> 01:11:31,286 Like paintings. 1280 01:11:34,290 --> 01:11:36,875 Can't wait for tomorrow, when I got energy and I can share stuff. 1281 01:11:37,043 --> 01:11:38,627 -Okay. -Okay. 1282 01:11:38,795 --> 01:11:41,797 -Oh, it's gonna be great. -You sleep. 1283 01:11:47,720 --> 01:11:49,388 Okay. That was nice. 1284 01:11:49,555 --> 01:11:51,556 That was nice. Please let me just sleep. 1285 01:11:55,019 --> 01:11:58,230 I can't take this fucking shit anymore. 1286 01:12:06,531 --> 01:12:09,908 There he is. It's the big guy! Get in here. 1287 01:12:10,076 --> 01:12:12,327 Wait till you see the spread. Anything you want. 1288 01:12:12,495 --> 01:12:14,037 Yeah, well, get what you want to go. 1289 01:12:14,205 --> 01:12:16,373 Ferry leaves in 25 minutes. We gotta get out of here. 1290 01:12:16,541 --> 01:12:18,667 Whoa, what's your problem? Have some of this stuff. 1291 01:12:19,252 --> 01:12:21,586 I didn't get a lot of sleep last night, John. I'm fried. 1292 01:12:21,754 --> 01:12:23,547 -Soft mattress? -Yeah, that could've been it. 1293 01:12:23,715 --> 01:12:26,133 It could have been the soft mattress, or the midnight rape... 1294 01:12:26,300 --> 01:12:28,343 ...or the nude, gay art show in my room. 1295 01:12:28,511 --> 01:12:30,595 One of those probably added to the lack of sleep. 1296 01:12:30,763 --> 01:12:32,597 Try one of these scones, you'll love them. 1297 01:12:32,765 --> 01:12:34,433 I'm a little too traumatized. Let's move. 1298 01:12:34,600 --> 01:12:37,436 Will you slow down for a second? The whole eye-drop thing backfired. 1299 01:12:37,603 --> 01:12:40,480 Okay? It didn't work. She had to leave me and go attend to him. 1300 01:12:43,401 --> 01:12:44,818 Why are you looking at me like that? 1301 01:12:44,986 --> 01:12:46,903 You're falling for this broad. 1302 01:12:47,071 --> 01:12:49,448 No. I just met her. 1303 01:12:49,615 --> 01:12:51,616 Exactly. I'm gonna go. 1304 01:12:51,784 --> 01:12:53,201 -You can't go. -Watch me. 1305 01:12:53,369 --> 01:12:55,203 Watch me take this on down the road. 1306 01:12:55,371 --> 01:12:58,957 Look, if you leave, Gloria is gonna freak out and throw a shit fit... 1307 01:12:59,125 --> 01:13:02,127 ...and it's gonna go into crisis lockdown mode here at the house. 1308 01:13:02,295 --> 01:13:04,296 I don't give a baker's fuck. 1309 01:13:04,464 --> 01:13:07,215 I just had my own sock duct-taped into my mouth last night. 1310 01:13:07,383 --> 01:13:09,760 -Whoa, what? -Yeah, the sock... 1311 01:13:09,927 --> 01:13:13,180 ...that I wore around all day, playing football in, pouring sweat in... 1312 01:13:13,347 --> 01:13:16,391 ...was shoved into my mouth, and there was duct tape over it. 1313 01:13:16,559 --> 01:13:18,268 Let's talk about it. I'm a good listener. 1314 01:13:18,436 --> 01:13:20,479 I'm not in a place to discuss what happened. Okay? 1315 01:13:20,646 --> 01:13:22,731 I felt like Jodie Foster in The Accused last night. 1316 01:13:22,899 --> 01:13:25,484 I'm gonna go home, see Dr. Finkelstein... 1317 01:13:25,651 --> 01:13:28,236 ...and I'm gonna tell him we got a whole new bag of issues. 1318 01:13:28,404 --> 01:13:31,907 We can forget about Mom for a while. I'm gonna go. 1319 01:13:32,075 --> 01:13:35,744 Suit yourself. Rule number 1. 1320 01:13:35,912 --> 01:13:39,331 Rule number 1: Never leave a fellow crasher behind. 1321 01:13:42,460 --> 01:13:45,587 -I can't believe how selfish you are. -I need you. 1322 01:13:49,801 --> 01:13:51,635 A friend in need is a pest. 1323 01:13:55,473 --> 01:13:58,016 I'll stick it out with you because you're desperate. 1324 01:13:58,184 --> 01:13:59,434 I need the big guy. 1325 01:13:59,602 --> 01:14:02,312 I'll give you a little bit more time because somebody can't close. 1326 01:14:02,480 --> 01:14:04,523 -Fair enough. -But if you want my help, listen. 1327 01:14:04,690 --> 01:14:07,192 Number one: Stop being a pussy. 1328 01:14:07,360 --> 01:14:09,486 Number two: Make a move. 1329 01:14:09,654 --> 01:14:11,696 Number three.... 1330 01:14:11,864 --> 01:14:13,240 You know it. 1331 01:14:13,407 --> 01:14:15,450 Could you pop the syrup for me? Just as a top off? 1332 01:14:15,618 --> 01:14:18,036 Here's what's gonna happen, Tonto. 1333 01:14:18,204 --> 01:14:20,205 Kimosabe's gonna have some flavor. 1334 01:14:20,373 --> 01:14:22,707 -I choose not to eat with you. -We're not eating together? 1335 01:14:22,875 --> 01:14:25,877 No. I'd like to recharge my batteries, and shut down the engines... 1336 01:14:26,045 --> 01:14:27,712 ...and get myself back to neutral. 1337 01:14:27,880 --> 01:14:30,090 When the meal's over with, I will talk to you. 1338 01:14:30,258 --> 01:14:32,676 I don't want to get into what happened last night. 1339 01:14:32,844 --> 01:14:35,929 Let's get through today, let's keep our eye on the prize, let's focus... 1340 01:14:36,097 --> 01:14:38,265 -...and let's close some ass. -Noted. 1341 01:14:44,105 --> 01:14:47,649 Can I tell you something without you getting angry? 1342 01:14:48,651 --> 01:14:50,360 I love you. 1343 01:14:52,196 --> 01:14:54,364 Yeah, you, big guy. 1344 01:14:55,658 --> 01:14:57,951 I love you too. 1345 01:14:59,620 --> 01:15:00,829 [LINE RINGING] 1346 01:15:00,997 --> 01:15:02,080 MAN: Hello 1347 01:15:02,248 --> 01:15:05,250 -Trapster, it's Sack. -Sackmaster. 1348 01:15:05,459 --> 01:15:07,878 -How was the wedding? -Oh, it was boring, you know 1349 01:15:08,045 --> 01:15:09,713 But the bachelor party, of course, rocked. 1350 01:15:09,881 --> 01:15:13,508 We got Heidi, a couple of those fucking sluts from the environmental group, remember? 1351 01:15:13,676 --> 01:15:16,344 No way. Did you tap that again? 1352 01:15:16,512 --> 01:15:18,930 Once at my place, then once back in the cab. 1353 01:15:19,098 --> 01:15:21,224 Damn! Sluts. 1354 01:15:21,392 --> 01:15:22,767 Oh, how's Claire? 1355 01:15:22,935 --> 01:15:25,979 Still trying to figure out what she's doing with her life? 1356 01:15:26,147 --> 01:15:28,106 Claire? She's, you know, whatever, I don't know. 1357 01:15:28,274 --> 01:15:31,067 She's saving the world one maladjusted kid at a time. 1358 01:15:31,235 --> 01:15:33,445 But that'll all change when we're married. 1359 01:15:33,613 --> 01:15:35,780 I want a wife. I don't want a fucking martyr, right? 1360 01:15:35,948 --> 01:15:37,866 I hear that, my friend 1361 01:15:38,868 --> 01:15:41,077 Hey, man, listen, I, uh, got-- 1362 01:15:41,245 --> 01:15:43,246 Do you remember that private detective we used... 1363 01:15:43,414 --> 01:15:45,081 ...to set up that Shearson Lehman prick? 1364 01:15:45,249 --> 01:15:47,626 The "Big Sleazy," Tommy Gufano. He's a wop genius. 1365 01:15:47,793 --> 01:15:50,462 Yes. I need you to get some dirt on these two guys... 1366 01:15:50,630 --> 01:15:53,632 ...John and Jeremy Ryan. They're brothers from New Hampshire. 1367 01:15:53,799 --> 01:15:57,052 They got some sort of N.P.O. called Holy Shirts & Pants. 1368 01:15:57,220 --> 01:15:59,846 -I will check into them. -Excellent, bro. 1369 01:16:00,014 --> 01:16:01,640 -You the man. -Take it easy. 1370 01:16:02,516 --> 01:16:04,517 [GURGLING AND BELCHING] 1371 01:16:07,605 --> 01:16:08,939 CLEARY: Where's Sack? 1372 01:16:09,106 --> 01:16:11,316 CLAIRE: Oh, he's still not feeling very well. 1373 01:16:11,484 --> 01:16:14,319 CLEARY: Well, then, we'll sail without him. 1374 01:16:42,181 --> 01:16:43,807 CLEARY: John, my boy. -Yes? 1375 01:16:43,975 --> 01:16:45,809 We're tacking back round. 1376 01:16:45,977 --> 01:16:48,144 Do me a favor, ease the sheets... 1377 01:16:48,312 --> 01:16:50,522 ...swing the jib starboard. 1378 01:16:50,690 --> 01:16:52,649 Okay, let me, uh-- 1379 01:16:55,903 --> 01:16:57,529 Okay. 1380 01:17:07,665 --> 01:17:09,374 JOHN: One minute. 1381 01:17:09,917 --> 01:17:11,876 -Hi. How's it going? -Hi. 1382 01:17:12,044 --> 01:17:14,713 Oh, just swinging the jib here for your dad. 1383 01:17:14,880 --> 01:17:17,841 Starboard. Trying to get it over here and crease the sheet. 1384 01:17:18,009 --> 01:17:20,051 But starboard's this way. 1385 01:17:21,137 --> 01:17:24,014 -Oh, that's right. What am I--? -Yeah. 1386 01:17:24,181 --> 01:17:25,807 -What am I thinking? -I'll help. 1387 01:17:25,975 --> 01:17:27,767 -Okay. CLAIRE: Hang on, hang on. 1388 01:17:28,394 --> 01:17:30,020 Watch the jib boom. 1389 01:17:33,607 --> 01:17:36,901 All right, push it. Push it this way. 1390 01:17:37,069 --> 01:17:39,571 Oh, yeah. Yeah, this is better. 1391 01:17:39,739 --> 01:17:42,198 -Come on, use some muscle. -There we go. 1392 01:17:42,366 --> 01:17:44,617 All right, that's beautiful. Done. Done. 1393 01:17:44,785 --> 01:17:46,911 I'm used to sailing down under with the Kiwis... 1394 01:17:47,079 --> 01:17:49,581 ...so everything is backwards. 1395 01:17:49,749 --> 01:17:54,419 Even the toilets, when you flush them, the water spins the opposite way. 1396 01:17:54,587 --> 01:17:56,921 Really freaks you out the first time you see it. 1397 01:18:13,314 --> 01:18:14,939 CLEARY: John, my boy. 1398 01:18:15,107 --> 01:18:16,816 Come on up here. 1399 01:18:16,984 --> 01:18:18,693 Man the Woodwind for a while. 1400 01:18:18,861 --> 01:18:20,820 On my way. 1401 01:18:25,201 --> 01:18:28,203 Hey, your dad was telling me about a great beach near here... 1402 01:18:28,371 --> 01:18:32,374 ...that maybe we could check out, if you have any interest, when we get back. 1403 01:18:34,293 --> 01:18:35,293 -Yeah. -Great. 1404 01:18:35,461 --> 01:18:38,963 Okay, it can get confusing up here. If you have a problem, just give me a call. 1405 01:18:39,131 --> 01:18:41,174 CLAIRE: Thank you. 1406 01:18:41,342 --> 01:18:43,385 JOHN: Ah, sailing. What have we got, captain? 1407 01:18:43,552 --> 01:18:45,804 Take the wheel. 1408 01:19:09,662 --> 01:19:12,872 -Thanks. -How would one get to this Sook's Bend? 1409 01:19:13,040 --> 01:19:14,916 Actually, it would be a really nice bike ride. 1410 01:19:15,084 --> 01:19:16,751 [GUN COCKS] 1411 01:19:16,919 --> 01:19:18,753 Everything's ready for the quail hunt! 1412 01:19:18,921 --> 01:19:20,630 -Sack? -For the quail hunt? 1413 01:19:20,798 --> 01:19:23,216 It's a Cleary family tradition. 1414 01:19:23,384 --> 01:19:26,511 Well, I think you might have to deal me out on this, because we were gonna-- 1415 01:19:26,679 --> 01:19:28,012 Nonsense, I insist. 1416 01:19:28,180 --> 01:19:30,682 John, you gotta go. You're gonna love it. You're gonna love it. 1417 01:19:30,850 --> 01:19:34,144 Sack, honey, you a little bit sick for hunting? 1418 01:19:34,311 --> 01:19:36,229 Oh, no, I'm great. Honey, I'm great. 1419 01:19:36,397 --> 01:19:39,023 No, I'm going. Right? Right? 1420 01:19:39,191 --> 01:19:40,442 [SACK CACKLES] 1421 01:19:40,860 --> 01:19:42,068 [SACK GUFFAWS] 1422 01:19:42,236 --> 01:19:44,028 Okay. You're going. 1423 01:19:44,196 --> 01:19:47,449 -So I guess I'll see you later. -See you later. 1424 01:19:48,367 --> 01:19:49,534 Just take it easy, okay? 1425 01:19:49,702 --> 01:19:51,286 -Okay. CLAIRE: Okay. 1426 01:19:51,454 --> 01:19:55,540 Mr. Environmental is also a hunter. It's kind of an interesting combination. 1427 01:19:55,708 --> 01:19:57,333 I hunt quail, Jeremy. 1428 01:19:57,501 --> 01:20:00,753 They're overpopulated and they're decimating the grub-worm population. 1429 01:20:00,921 --> 01:20:02,297 Got a fucking problem with that? 1430 01:20:02,465 --> 01:20:05,383 Not nearly as much as I do with the attire that you have on... 1431 01:20:05,551 --> 01:20:07,844 ...or just your general point of view towards everybody. 1432 01:20:08,012 --> 01:20:09,679 But let's go kill some birds. I'm psyched. 1433 01:20:13,100 --> 01:20:15,310 Have you even shot one of these things before? 1434 01:20:15,478 --> 01:20:17,270 The whole 1 7 years we've known each other... 1435 01:20:17,438 --> 01:20:20,231 ...I've been sneaking off to go on hunting trips around the world. 1436 01:20:20,399 --> 01:20:22,609 No, I don't even know what the fuck a quail is. 1437 01:20:22,776 --> 01:20:25,778 I feel totally ridiculous. It's like, why do I have to be in camouflage? 1438 01:20:25,946 --> 01:20:27,489 So the big bad quail doesn't see me? 1439 01:20:27,656 --> 01:20:30,033 I know. It's like, why can't we hunt something cool... 1440 01:20:30,201 --> 01:20:33,661 ...like a hawk, or an eagle, or something with some talons? 1441 01:20:33,829 --> 01:20:35,914 That'd be awesome. Big game, even like a gorilla? 1442 01:20:36,081 --> 01:20:37,749 -Yeah. Gorilla. -Or a rhinoceros. 1443 01:20:37,917 --> 01:20:39,584 -Rhino. -Or a fucking human being? 1444 01:20:39,752 --> 01:20:41,961 That'll get you jacked up. 1445 01:20:42,129 --> 01:20:43,588 That's a little heavy. 1446 01:20:43,756 --> 01:20:46,049 I mean, like-- You're hunting a human being right now. 1447 01:20:46,217 --> 01:20:47,926 Most Dangerous Game 1448 01:20:48,093 --> 01:20:50,929 Like a worthy adversary. Not a human being that's armed... 1449 01:20:51,096 --> 01:20:53,640 -Oh, if he wasn't armed. -...but a clever human being... 1450 01:20:53,807 --> 01:20:56,267 -...who knows the jungle, or the woods. -Like a bad guy. 1451 01:21:00,231 --> 01:21:02,232 [BIRDCALL WHISTLING] 1452 01:21:06,779 --> 01:21:08,696 There's something not right about these guys. 1453 01:21:09,448 --> 01:21:11,866 MAN: What do you mean? -I mean, it's time to send them home. 1454 01:21:12,034 --> 01:21:13,576 Sack, don't do anything crazy. 1455 01:21:13,744 --> 01:21:16,621 -I'm just gonna scare them a little bit. -All right. 1456 01:21:18,040 --> 01:21:20,458 To the right! 1457 01:21:20,626 --> 01:21:21,668 [SCREAMING] 1458 01:21:22,545 --> 01:21:24,546 [SCREAMING] 1459 01:21:24,713 --> 01:21:25,964 BOTH: Ooh. 1460 01:21:26,131 --> 01:21:27,507 Ooh. 1461 01:21:28,342 --> 01:21:30,635 -They got me! -Oh, shit. 1462 01:21:30,803 --> 01:21:32,887 JEREMY: They got me! -Oh, shit. 1463 01:21:33,055 --> 01:21:34,389 JEREMY: Ow! 1464 01:21:35,558 --> 01:21:37,809 Ow! Jesus! 1465 01:21:37,977 --> 01:21:40,436 -You okay, buddy? -Oh, don't "okay, buddy" me. 1466 01:21:40,604 --> 01:21:44,148 We're gonna take a little bike ride, and then we'll come back and check up on you. 1467 01:21:44,316 --> 01:21:47,819 And take care of him, okay? I want you to get my little angel up and running. 1468 01:21:47,987 --> 01:21:49,988 -Hang in there. -I hope you flip your bike over... 1469 01:21:50,155 --> 01:21:53,157 ...and knock your two front teeth out, you selfish son of a bitch! 1470 01:21:53,325 --> 01:21:55,952 You leave me in the trenches taking grenades, John! 1471 01:22:13,512 --> 01:22:15,763 CLAIRE: Wait, wait, wait, wait. 1472 01:22:26,150 --> 01:22:27,859 Yes! 1473 01:22:29,320 --> 01:22:30,403 JOHN: Whoa. 1474 01:22:32,364 --> 01:22:33,823 Come on! 1475 01:22:35,159 --> 01:22:36,826 JOHN: Slow down! 1476 01:22:39,413 --> 01:22:40,872 MAN [ON TV]: Tough luck, Ralphie boy 1477 01:22:42,124 --> 01:22:43,625 -Randolph. -Shh. 1478 01:22:43,792 --> 01:22:45,710 I'm watching my stories, man. 1479 01:22:46,795 --> 01:22:48,671 Is that what you get paid to do? 1480 01:22:48,839 --> 01:22:51,049 It's exactly what I get paid to do. 1481 01:22:51,216 --> 01:22:53,384 Look, I want to know where Claire is. 1482 01:22:53,552 --> 01:22:56,179 She took a bike ride down to the beach. 1483 01:22:57,222 --> 01:22:58,222 With who? 1484 01:22:58,390 --> 01:23:03,394 With that fella from the wedding that everyone seems to be so fond of. 1485 01:23:09,193 --> 01:23:11,569 CLAIRE: So you're a venture capitalist? 1486 01:23:11,737 --> 01:23:13,571 What does that mean? 1487 01:23:13,739 --> 01:23:16,449 JOHN: Oh, it's really not that interesting, actually. 1488 01:23:17,242 --> 01:23:19,410 CLAIRE: You don't sound very enthused. 1489 01:23:19,578 --> 01:23:22,747 JOHN: Well, no, it's just-- You know, things start happening... 1490 01:23:22,915 --> 01:23:27,543 ...and you go down a road and you think it's just for a little while. 1491 01:23:27,711 --> 01:23:32,215 And then you get caught up in it and you get kind of into it... 1492 01:23:32,424 --> 01:23:36,344 ...and just don't even have time to really ask questions about it. 1493 01:23:36,512 --> 01:23:39,597 And before you know it, you're living a life that you didn't set out to... 1494 01:23:39,765 --> 01:23:41,265 ...or that you intended to. 1495 01:23:42,601 --> 01:23:44,852 Do you know what I mean? 1496 01:23:45,020 --> 01:23:47,063 Yes, I do. 1497 01:23:48,065 --> 01:23:51,776 I think that there's some great things that I'd like to do... 1498 01:23:51,944 --> 01:23:54,946 ...that maybe I'm capable of, hopefully. 1499 01:23:55,114 --> 01:23:57,115 Oh, yeah? Like what? 1500 01:23:57,282 --> 01:23:59,117 I don't know. 1501 01:23:59,284 --> 01:24:01,119 We'll see. I'm still young. 1502 01:24:03,455 --> 01:24:06,165 Well... 1503 01:24:06,333 --> 01:24:08,042 ...you're not that young. 1504 01:24:11,130 --> 01:24:13,423 I'm sorry. 1505 01:24:14,007 --> 01:24:15,550 Give me your hands. 1506 01:24:15,718 --> 01:24:17,093 I know this game. Okay. 1507 01:24:17,803 --> 01:24:20,221 JOHN: I'm not gonna bite you. 1508 01:24:21,682 --> 01:24:23,891 Do you want full speed or half speed? 1509 01:24:24,059 --> 01:24:26,144 Full. Oh, ha, ha, wow. 1510 01:24:28,272 --> 01:24:31,149 You're never gonna hit me, I don't think. I'm pretty quick. 1511 01:24:33,193 --> 01:24:36,904 CLAIRE: What? You didn't approve of that? -Let me get settled before you go. 1512 01:24:37,072 --> 01:24:38,656 No, because you're supposed to-- 1513 01:24:38,824 --> 01:24:40,116 [SLAPPING] 1514 01:24:40,284 --> 01:24:42,535 You gotta wait until I put them back. 1515 01:24:42,703 --> 01:24:44,662 Come on. 1516 01:24:45,706 --> 01:24:48,750 So, what about you, with Sack? 1517 01:24:48,917 --> 01:24:50,752 Is that a good thing? 1518 01:24:50,919 --> 01:24:54,005 Yes, I think it's a good thing. 1519 01:24:55,632 --> 01:24:57,508 You don't sound very enthused. 1520 01:24:57,676 --> 01:24:59,177 I am. 1521 01:24:59,344 --> 01:25:02,680 Well, I mean, I think I am. I.... 1522 01:25:03,348 --> 01:25:05,558 I'm.... 1523 01:25:06,602 --> 01:25:08,311 Okay. 1524 01:25:09,146 --> 01:25:12,690 I-- You know, we've just been talking so much about the future lately... 1525 01:25:12,858 --> 01:25:17,570 ...and, uh, I mean, I always assumed that we would get married. 1526 01:25:17,738 --> 01:25:19,197 But.... 1527 01:25:21,450 --> 01:25:23,409 I'm scared. 1528 01:25:23,827 --> 01:25:25,036 I am. 1529 01:25:27,039 --> 01:25:30,082 But that that's how everyone feels before they're about to get married. 1530 01:25:30,250 --> 01:25:32,543 I mean, don't you think? 1531 01:25:33,587 --> 01:25:35,379 Yeah, no. Don't answer that. 1532 01:25:35,547 --> 01:25:38,508 That's my rationalization and I'm sticking to it. 1533 01:25:38,675 --> 01:25:41,052 Fair enough. 1534 01:25:41,220 --> 01:25:43,721 And I don't mean to pry. 1535 01:25:44,181 --> 01:25:45,556 Yes, you did. 1536 01:25:51,730 --> 01:25:54,649 Well, however it works out, I hope you.... 1537 01:25:55,776 --> 01:25:56,984 Um.... 1538 01:25:57,152 --> 01:26:00,530 I hope you realize that you deserve somebody great. 1539 01:26:35,732 --> 01:26:37,567 I have an announcement. 1540 01:26:40,654 --> 01:26:43,948 I know that we said we were gonna wait... 1541 01:26:44,116 --> 01:26:47,743 ...but given the spirit of this weekend, well.... 1542 01:26:49,246 --> 01:26:52,790 Claire, come on. Come on. Come on, come on, it's okay. 1543 01:26:52,958 --> 01:26:54,292 Come on. Come on. 1544 01:26:59,131 --> 01:27:00,256 [CHUCKLING] 1545 01:27:03,218 --> 01:27:04,677 Claire and I are getting married. 1546 01:27:04,887 --> 01:27:06,596 [CHATTERING AND CLAPPING] 1547 01:27:07,306 --> 01:27:10,433 KEN: Good, Sack. That's wonderful. 1548 01:27:10,809 --> 01:27:12,101 MAN 1: Isn't that great? 1549 01:27:12,269 --> 01:27:14,145 -Wonderful. -Wonderful. 1550 01:27:14,313 --> 01:27:15,354 [SNORING] 1551 01:27:15,522 --> 01:27:17,607 MAN 2: Way to go, man. Way to go. 1552 01:27:17,774 --> 01:27:19,317 Claire bear, you never told me. 1553 01:27:19,484 --> 01:27:21,652 Two of the great American families. 1554 01:27:21,820 --> 01:27:24,655 MAN 3: Claire, you took us all by surprise! SACK: Yeah. 1555 01:27:24,823 --> 01:27:26,991 -Yeah. MAN 3: You're good! You're good! 1556 01:27:27,743 --> 01:27:29,535 Can you just give me one minute? 1557 01:27:29,703 --> 01:27:31,954 -Yeah. Mmm. -Okay. 1558 01:27:32,122 --> 01:27:33,873 KEN: Great. 1559 01:27:34,041 --> 01:27:35,374 Congratulations, young man. 1560 01:27:35,542 --> 01:27:37,335 Welcome to the family. This is wonderful. 1561 01:27:38,170 --> 01:27:41,088 Look, kid, I'm sorry. You win some, you lose some, right? Let's go home. 1562 01:27:41,256 --> 01:27:44,258 -No, I'm not-- I can't do that. -What are you talking about? 1563 01:27:44,426 --> 01:27:46,469 Look, I think I'm in love with her. 1564 01:27:46,637 --> 01:27:50,848 Yeah, I think-- I think that you're nuts. That's what I think. 1565 01:27:51,266 --> 01:27:53,517 I'm gonna tell her the truth. 1566 01:27:54,353 --> 01:27:56,187 Jesus Christ! 1567 01:27:59,983 --> 01:28:03,027 -Hey. How are you? -Hey. 1568 01:28:04,029 --> 01:28:06,989 Okay, listen, Gloria, you know that I think... 1569 01:28:07,157 --> 01:28:09,700 ...that you're an amazing person, a really amazing person... 1570 01:28:09,868 --> 01:28:11,953 ...but I feel like I have to be up-front with you. 1571 01:28:12,120 --> 01:28:14,872 I really don't see this relationship going further than this weekend. 1572 01:28:15,499 --> 01:28:17,208 -But I love you. -Yeah. 1573 01:28:17,376 --> 01:28:19,794 You'll learn as time goes on that there's a difference... 1574 01:28:19,962 --> 01:28:23,297 ...between infatuation and love, you know? 1575 01:28:23,465 --> 01:28:26,217 Obviously, you're gonna have strong feelings for me... 1576 01:28:26,385 --> 01:28:28,219 ...because you lost your virginity to me... 1577 01:28:28,387 --> 01:28:30,388 -...but that doesn't mean-- -Oh, I wasn't a virgin. 1578 01:28:33,350 --> 01:28:35,726 -What? -I wasn't a virgin. 1579 01:28:35,894 --> 01:28:38,062 Far from it. 1580 01:28:38,230 --> 01:28:41,440 I just thought that that's what guys wanted to hear. 1581 01:28:43,527 --> 01:28:45,319 Come on. 1582 01:28:46,196 --> 01:28:48,239 Jeremy. 1583 01:28:51,743 --> 01:28:52,743 Wow 1584 01:28:57,874 --> 01:28:58,958 Hello, son. 1585 01:28:59,126 --> 01:29:01,752 -You okay? -Not now, Father, please. 1586 01:29:02,254 --> 01:29:05,840 No offense to you, I think we might be on different wavelengths. 1587 01:29:06,466 --> 01:29:08,509 I think you'd just be spinning your wheels with me. 1588 01:29:08,677 --> 01:29:10,761 But have a little of the sacrament here. 1589 01:29:10,929 --> 01:29:13,639 No one likes to drink alone. We'll set you up. 1590 01:29:14,391 --> 01:29:16,767 There you go, get your hands on it. Take it while it's hot. 1591 01:29:16,935 --> 01:29:19,770 I'm gonna pour till it's on the tray. Here it is. 1592 01:29:21,898 --> 01:29:23,941 Can I ask you a question, Father? 1593 01:29:24,735 --> 01:29:26,235 You ever get horny? 1594 01:29:26,403 --> 01:29:28,404 [CHUCKLING] 1595 01:29:28,697 --> 01:29:32,742 I'm sure you do. But I guess in your position, right? You're not allowed to... 1596 01:29:33,201 --> 01:29:35,036 -...sleep with anybody, right? -No. 1597 01:29:35,203 --> 01:29:37,163 Does that get tough sometimes? 1598 01:29:37,330 --> 01:29:39,915 Do you ever pull on yourself or...? 1599 01:29:41,084 --> 01:29:42,126 Everything works? 1600 01:29:42,377 --> 01:29:44,962 -Do you get swelled up still? -Yeah, of course. 1601 01:29:45,881 --> 01:29:48,132 -Well, what do you do? -You pray. 1602 01:29:48,300 --> 01:29:50,509 Yeah, I pray too, you know what I mean? 1603 01:30:01,313 --> 01:30:03,022 She's good. 1604 01:30:03,190 --> 01:30:05,483 I mean, I believed that she was a virgin. 1605 01:30:05,650 --> 01:30:07,151 It hurts to be lied to like that. 1606 01:30:07,319 --> 01:30:09,403 It's a horrible feeling to feel that way. 1607 01:30:09,571 --> 01:30:11,822 But I was looking to take advantage of something too. 1608 01:30:11,990 --> 01:30:14,075 So could I really feel that bad? 1609 01:30:14,242 --> 01:30:16,494 It's not like I was who I was. You know? So fair play. 1610 01:30:16,661 --> 01:30:18,287 And let's be honest here, okay? 1611 01:30:18,455 --> 01:30:21,665 Let's put all the cards on the table. She's fit for a straitjacket. 1612 01:30:21,833 --> 01:30:23,709 She's fucked three ways towards the weekend. 1613 01:30:23,877 --> 01:30:26,796 And you wanna know what? I dig it. It turns me on. 1614 01:30:26,963 --> 01:30:28,380 Yeah. It turns me on. 1615 01:30:28,548 --> 01:30:30,299 You wanna know what the kicker is, Father? 1616 01:30:30,467 --> 01:30:34,345 Maybe I'm a little fucking crazy. That's right. Maybe Jeremy's a little nuts. 1617 01:30:34,513 --> 01:30:36,263 Maybe I'm a little cuckoo. 1618 01:30:36,431 --> 01:30:38,140 I know it's a surprise. It's not on the surface. 1619 01:30:38,308 --> 01:30:41,060 I had an imaginary friend when I was a kid. His name was Shilo. 1620 01:30:41,228 --> 01:30:43,437 We used to play checkers with each other every day... 1621 01:30:43,605 --> 01:30:45,856 ...and bless his heart, Shilo would always let me win. 1622 01:30:46,024 --> 01:30:47,983 [CHUCKLING] 1623 01:30:48,276 --> 01:30:50,361 And that ain't normal. There's something odd in that. 1624 01:30:50,529 --> 01:30:54,365 Maybe that's what it takes to make you feel connected to somebody. I don't know. 1625 01:30:54,533 --> 01:30:56,367 I know when that redhead starts getting kooky... 1626 01:30:56,535 --> 01:30:59,203 ...that something about me feels alive inside. 1627 01:30:59,371 --> 01:31:01,372 I dig talking with you. You're an enlightened cat... 1628 01:31:01,540 --> 01:31:05,126 ...and I like that about you. I think you're a special, special man. 1629 01:31:05,293 --> 01:31:07,211 Okay, come in for the real thing. 1630 01:31:07,379 --> 01:31:09,130 -Get in here for the real thing. -Oh, oh. 1631 01:31:09,297 --> 01:31:11,382 I love you. You're a sweet man. 1632 01:31:11,550 --> 01:31:13,342 Oh, dear God. 1633 01:31:29,442 --> 01:31:30,985 You can't marry this guy. 1634 01:31:31,987 --> 01:31:33,154 Why? 1635 01:31:33,321 --> 01:31:35,239 Because I've fallen for you. 1636 01:31:41,746 --> 01:31:42,746 [CELL PHONE RINGING] 1637 01:31:42,914 --> 01:31:44,123 WOMAN: Oh, this is wonderful. -Oh. 1638 01:31:44,291 --> 01:31:46,584 Good news travels fast. 1639 01:31:46,751 --> 01:31:51,255 Excuse me. I'm just gonna take this. Sorry, thanks. Thanks. 1640 01:31:51,965 --> 01:31:54,258 Trapster, talk to me. 1641 01:31:55,719 --> 01:31:57,094 No shit. 1642 01:32:01,349 --> 01:32:03,392 And do you maybe feel the same way? 1643 01:32:04,477 --> 01:32:06,312 -Maybe. -Maybe. 1644 01:32:06,479 --> 01:32:08,606 That's all I needed to know. 1645 01:32:08,773 --> 01:32:10,608 But this is crazy, because I don't know any-- 1646 01:32:10,775 --> 01:32:13,485 -Why? -I don't know anything about you! 1647 01:32:13,653 --> 01:32:15,988 -What do you mean? -You do investments in New Hampshire... 1648 01:32:16,156 --> 01:32:19,116 ...and you have a crazy brother-- 1649 01:32:19,284 --> 01:32:21,327 I need to talk to you. It's not a big deal... 1650 01:32:21,494 --> 01:32:23,287 ...but maybe you wanna sit back on the swing. 1651 01:32:23,455 --> 01:32:24,788 [GUNSHOT] 1652 01:32:25,040 --> 01:32:26,707 Run! 1653 01:32:26,875 --> 01:32:29,960 Johnny! She's trying to kill me! 1654 01:32:30,670 --> 01:32:32,630 -Grandma! -Get the gun from her! 1655 01:32:32,797 --> 01:32:34,882 Put the gun down! Mother, stop! 1656 01:32:35,050 --> 01:32:36,634 This is the real world, lady! 1657 01:32:36,801 --> 01:32:39,053 You can't just go shooting people on a whim! 1658 01:32:39,221 --> 01:32:40,804 MAN: Why does Grandma have a gun? 1659 01:32:40,972 --> 01:32:43,599 -What did you do? -I told you that in confidence. 1660 01:32:45,310 --> 01:32:48,812 -That was a confession. -What are you talking about? 1661 01:32:49,648 --> 01:32:51,232 Why don't you tell her, John? 1662 01:32:53,109 --> 01:32:54,944 -I don't know what's going on. -You don't know? 1663 01:32:55,111 --> 01:32:56,779 -I'm playing catch-up, too. -I don't-- 1664 01:32:56,947 --> 01:32:59,073 CLAIRE: Sack, what are you doing? SACK: Remembering yet? 1665 01:32:59,241 --> 01:33:00,658 -You remember yet? CLAIRE: Are you okay? 1666 01:33:00,825 --> 01:33:02,618 SACK: They're not who they say they are, Claire. 1667 01:33:02,786 --> 01:33:05,537 -Those aren't even their real names. -What? 1668 01:33:05,705 --> 01:33:08,207 -Everything he told you is a lie. CLAIRE: I don't understand. 1669 01:33:08,375 --> 01:33:10,376 Claire, they crash weddings. 1670 01:33:10,543 --> 01:33:12,795 They crash weddings so they can sleep with girls. 1671 01:33:13,213 --> 01:33:16,048 Everything that they have told us is a complete fabrication. 1672 01:33:16,216 --> 01:33:19,134 -No, you're joking. -All of it is-- Don't you fucking get up. 1673 01:33:19,302 --> 01:33:21,804 -Sack, will you just stop? -Okay, okay. 1674 01:33:22,681 --> 01:33:25,641 CLAIRE: Is that true? -No, well, it's-- Not entirely. 1675 01:33:26,142 --> 01:33:27,977 No, it's a yes-or-no question. 1676 01:33:28,144 --> 01:33:29,561 I know, but it's complicated. 1677 01:33:29,729 --> 01:33:31,689 CLAIRE: Yes or no? 1678 01:33:37,028 --> 01:33:38,445 Yes or no? 1679 01:33:39,698 --> 01:33:41,365 Yes. 1680 01:33:42,909 --> 01:33:45,077 With shades of gray. 1681 01:33:47,914 --> 01:33:52,126 I'm not perfect, but who are we kidding? Neither are you. 1682 01:33:52,711 --> 01:33:55,212 And you wanna know what? I dig it. 1683 01:33:55,380 --> 01:33:57,131 Jeremy tried to seduce me! 1684 01:33:59,050 --> 01:34:01,218 You did? 1685 01:34:01,386 --> 01:34:03,053 I want my painting back. 1686 01:34:03,221 --> 01:34:05,264 The painting was a gift, Todd. 1687 01:34:05,432 --> 01:34:06,724 I'm taking it with me. 1688 01:34:08,810 --> 01:34:10,519 You had me going, son. 1689 01:34:10,687 --> 01:34:12,730 I thought it was something special. 1690 01:34:12,897 --> 01:34:16,025 There's a ferry leaving in 1 0 minutes. 1691 01:34:16,192 --> 01:34:17,818 I suggest you be on it. 1692 01:34:19,487 --> 01:34:21,488 Come on, let's go. 1693 01:34:23,533 --> 01:34:26,702 - [WHISPERING] I want you. - [WHISPERING] I love you. 1694 01:34:28,955 --> 01:34:31,123 He made a fool out of you, Claire. 1695 01:34:35,337 --> 01:34:37,129 Come on, let's go. 1696 01:34:40,675 --> 01:34:42,217 Sweetheart. 1697 01:35:21,466 --> 01:35:25,010 Now bunch those panties up into a little ball. 1698 01:35:25,303 --> 01:35:27,679 Put that little ball right in your mouth. Oh, that's good. 1699 01:35:27,847 --> 01:35:30,015 -Hang up the phone. -Okay. 1700 01:35:30,183 --> 01:35:32,476 And I will definitely call you back later then. 1701 01:35:32,644 --> 01:35:35,312 -Come on, wrap it up. -Talk to you soon. Thank you, Larry. 1702 01:35:35,480 --> 01:35:37,064 What the fuck? You can't knock anymore? 1703 01:35:37,232 --> 01:35:39,066 -I know how I can get to her. -What? 1704 01:35:39,234 --> 01:35:41,276 I know how I can get to Claire. 1705 01:35:41,444 --> 01:35:42,611 Oh. 1706 01:35:42,779 --> 01:35:45,989 John, you gotta drop this thing. I can't do this anymore with you, okay? 1707 01:35:46,157 --> 01:35:48,283 It's been months, you haven't heard anything from her. 1708 01:35:48,451 --> 01:35:51,787 She hasn't returned your phone calls, she's never responded to your letters. 1709 01:35:51,955 --> 01:35:54,123 -She didn't respond to the candygram. -Right. 1710 01:35:54,290 --> 01:35:56,333 God knows what happened to the kitten you got her. 1711 01:35:56,501 --> 01:35:58,961 She didn't keep it and I know you're not raising that thing. 1712 01:35:59,129 --> 01:36:00,671 -Okay. -I think it's very obvious... 1713 01:36:00,839 --> 01:36:05,092 ...at this juncture that she just flat out does not wanna see you. 1714 01:36:05,260 --> 01:36:07,803 I disagree. Now, look, they're having the engagement party... 1715 01:36:07,971 --> 01:36:10,681 ...for her tonight at the Burke's club. We're going at 7:30. 1716 01:36:10,849 --> 01:36:12,683 I'm not g-- John, I can't-- Heh, heh, heh. 1717 01:36:13,852 --> 01:36:16,228 Okay, okay, listen to me. Tasmanian devil. 1718 01:36:16,396 --> 01:36:18,814 -Listen to me. I can't go. -Why? 1719 01:36:18,982 --> 01:36:22,025 Because I can't go, because I have a schedule. Because I have-- 1720 01:36:23,236 --> 01:36:25,612 What is your deal? What is your problem? 1721 01:36:25,780 --> 01:36:27,865 For the past couple months you've been a ghost. 1722 01:36:28,032 --> 01:36:30,200 I can't find you, and now I come to you with an idea... 1723 01:36:30,368 --> 01:36:32,786 ...put myself on the line, you shoot it down with negativity. 1724 01:36:32,954 --> 01:36:36,039 Your goddamn negativity. I don't need it. I'm an idea man. 1725 01:36:36,207 --> 01:36:39,710 I thrive on enthusiasm. Don't take the wind out of my sails. I need you. 1726 01:36:39,878 --> 01:36:43,922 Buddy, you know I love you, and I hate to see you like this... 1727 01:36:44,090 --> 01:36:45,757 ...but we gotta look at reality here. 1728 01:36:45,925 --> 01:36:48,302 There's gonna be Secret Service. They have pictures of us. 1729 01:36:48,470 --> 01:36:51,054 There's not a shot in hell we can get into this thing. 1730 01:36:51,222 --> 01:36:53,515 You're so cautious. I'm more of a risk taker. 1731 01:36:53,683 --> 01:36:57,019 I'm two steps ahead of you and 1 0 steps ahead of the Secret Service. 1732 01:36:57,187 --> 01:37:01,106 Oh, yeah. 46 extra long, baba ganoush special. 1733 01:37:02,066 --> 01:37:03,233 We're waiters. 1734 01:37:03,568 --> 01:37:06,236 Buddy, for your own good, you gotta let this thing go. 1735 01:37:06,404 --> 01:37:09,031 Now, I'm gonna meet you there at 7:30, okay? 1736 01:37:10,241 --> 01:37:11,825 Okay. 1737 01:37:24,339 --> 01:37:26,215 JOHN: Hey, how do I look? -Good, man. 1738 01:37:26,382 --> 01:37:28,258 -Good. -Where's your friend? 1739 01:37:28,426 --> 01:37:30,594 Late, as usual. Is Claire--? 1740 01:37:30,762 --> 01:37:32,429 -Oh, she's looking fine. -Okay. 1741 01:37:54,786 --> 01:37:58,580 SACK: Next thing you know they pick me up, put me on the top of this mountain... 1742 01:37:58,748 --> 01:38:01,083 ...and they start chanting, and I realized... 1743 01:38:01,251 --> 01:38:04,461 ...they thought I was God. 1744 01:38:05,088 --> 01:38:07,464 And I'll tell you something, I thought I was too. 1745 01:38:07,632 --> 01:38:09,007 CLEARY: Claire. 1746 01:38:10,510 --> 01:38:11,552 Let's dance. 1747 01:38:11,719 --> 01:38:13,720 [PEOPLE CLAPPING] 1748 01:38:21,437 --> 01:38:23,438 [BAND PLAYING POLKA MUSIC] 1749 01:38:38,663 --> 01:38:39,663 SACK: You. -Huh? 1750 01:38:39,831 --> 01:38:41,665 [GRUNTING] 1751 01:38:43,334 --> 01:38:45,419 Let's go, sport. 1752 01:38:48,172 --> 01:38:49,381 Whoa, hold it. 1753 01:38:49,757 --> 01:38:50,799 Sack! 1754 01:38:57,056 --> 01:38:59,766 Okay, Sackmaster, one more. We should get back to the bar. 1755 01:39:01,227 --> 01:39:02,352 You're right. 1756 01:39:05,440 --> 01:39:08,233 You get near my fiancée again... 1757 01:39:08,401 --> 01:39:09,693 ...I'll kill you. 1758 01:39:12,030 --> 01:39:13,071 Let me say one thing. 1759 01:39:19,162 --> 01:39:20,829 You check out the rack on that bartender? 1760 01:39:20,997 --> 01:39:23,040 Hey, you're the Sack. She'll come to you. 1761 01:39:23,207 --> 01:39:25,208 Oh, my God-- Yeah, she will. You're right. 1762 01:39:47,940 --> 01:39:49,399 JOHN: Jeremy! 1763 01:39:49,567 --> 01:39:51,568 [ROCK MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS] 1764 01:39:52,236 --> 01:39:54,446 Goddamn it. 1765 01:40:03,581 --> 01:40:05,082 Perfect. 1766 01:40:07,251 --> 01:40:09,086 Johnny, wait a second. 1767 01:40:09,253 --> 01:40:10,754 Come on, John! 1768 01:40:10,922 --> 01:40:13,173 Oh, what time is it? 1769 01:40:13,591 --> 01:40:15,759 John, will you wait a second so I can talk to you? 1770 01:40:15,927 --> 01:40:17,719 Hold on, man. 1771 01:40:17,887 --> 01:40:21,431 Will you stop? I'm not gonna chase you down the whole fucking street, man. 1772 01:40:21,599 --> 01:40:24,017 -Hold on a second. Let me talk to you. -About what? 1773 01:40:24,185 --> 01:40:26,978 About how you left me high and dry to get my ass kicked by Sack again? 1774 01:40:27,146 --> 01:40:28,188 Sack did that to you? 1775 01:40:28,356 --> 01:40:30,941 How long you been sneaking around with Gloria behind my back? 1776 01:40:31,109 --> 01:40:34,569 I wanted to tell you about Gloria. I tried to. I didn't know how. 1777 01:40:34,737 --> 01:40:36,863 And I'm sorry that you had to find out this way. 1778 01:40:37,448 --> 01:40:38,949 I'll level with you. 1779 01:40:39,117 --> 01:40:41,159 I care about her a lot. 1780 01:40:42,787 --> 01:40:44,037 I love her. 1781 01:40:44,622 --> 01:40:46,289 What? 1782 01:40:47,792 --> 01:40:50,127 You're unbelievable. Judas. 1783 01:40:50,294 --> 01:40:52,796 Rule number 5: You're an idiot. 1784 01:40:53,589 --> 01:40:56,174 JEREMY: You're wrong to pull out the rulebook. There was never rules about this. 1785 01:40:56,342 --> 01:41:00,053 What's the rule about walking away? Never walk away on a crasher in a funny jacket. 1786 01:41:00,221 --> 01:41:02,889 Rule number 115. 1787 01:41:03,349 --> 01:41:05,350 You're an asshole. 1788 01:41:25,329 --> 01:41:27,330 [MAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY ON TV] 1789 01:41:36,340 --> 01:41:38,091 [MAN CONTINUES SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY ON TV] 1790 01:41:38,259 --> 01:41:40,260 [PHONE RINGS] 1791 01:41:41,012 --> 01:41:44,181 JOHN [ON ANSWERING MACHINE]: This is John. Whatever. 1792 01:41:44,348 --> 01:41:45,348 [MACHINE BEEPS] 1793 01:41:45,516 --> 01:41:47,309 JEREMY: Hey, John, it's Jeremy 1794 01:41:47,477 --> 01:41:50,145 Just calling to see what you're up to 1795 01:41:50,813 --> 01:41:52,731 Would love to hear back from you, man 1796 01:41:52,899 --> 01:41:54,858 Give me a shout 1797 01:41:55,401 --> 01:41:57,277 We'll do the wedding in peaches and apricots. 1798 01:41:57,445 --> 01:41:59,571 It's a June wedding, but if the weather turns nasty... 1799 01:41:59,739 --> 01:42:02,741 -...warm colors will really help you. -That's right.... 1800 01:42:11,000 --> 01:42:12,459 Johnny. 1801 01:42:14,212 --> 01:42:16,129 Johnny, open up, man. 1802 01:42:16,339 --> 01:42:18,924 Does anyone ever feel like they're just... 1803 01:42:19,091 --> 01:42:20,383 ...disappearing? 1804 01:42:21,052 --> 01:42:24,387 I feel so much like giving up. 1805 01:42:24,555 --> 01:42:25,722 [SCREAMING] 1806 01:42:29,602 --> 01:42:31,144 Yeah! 1807 01:42:35,233 --> 01:42:36,233 Get it? 1808 01:42:36,901 --> 01:42:38,235 Put your hands out like this. 1809 01:42:38,402 --> 01:42:40,445 -Claire. -Please. 1810 01:42:43,366 --> 01:42:45,909 Hi. Thanks for coming. 1811 01:42:46,536 --> 01:42:50,288 MAN 1: Hey! MAN 2: Get off her! What are you doing? 1812 01:42:51,791 --> 01:42:55,502 -You're supposed to move your hands. -You're not getting enough attention? 1813 01:42:57,547 --> 01:43:00,549 Love doesn't exist. That's what I'm trying to tell you guys. 1814 01:43:00,716 --> 01:43:02,300 And I'm not picking on love... 1815 01:43:02,468 --> 01:43:04,553 ...because I don't think friendship exists either. 1816 01:43:08,933 --> 01:43:11,226 Hey! Shout! 1817 01:43:11,394 --> 01:43:13,854 Shout! Put your hands up and shout! 1818 01:43:17,400 --> 01:43:20,151 Are you okay? Get up, buddy. 1819 01:43:20,319 --> 01:43:21,945 Move it on. 1820 01:43:23,406 --> 01:43:26,616 JEREMY: Gloria, I've been doing a lot of soul-searching lately... 1821 01:43:26,784 --> 01:43:31,121 ...and I think that I'm ready to take, um, this relationship... 1822 01:43:31,289 --> 01:43:33,623 ...our relationship, to the next level. 1823 01:43:33,791 --> 01:43:36,877 To what the next level of the relationship would be. 1824 01:43:37,044 --> 01:43:39,504 -Jeremy. Jeremy! -Is that good? 1825 01:43:39,672 --> 01:43:41,798 I am so ready to take it to the next level too. 1826 01:43:41,966 --> 01:43:43,300 Do you wanna watch me with a girl? 1827 01:43:43,467 --> 01:43:46,595 What about those Brazilian twins we met at the ballgame? 1828 01:43:48,306 --> 01:43:53,143 I was-- I was thinking more along the lines of an engagement. 1829 01:43:53,311 --> 01:43:55,812 But that sounds terrific. That sounds unbelievable. 1830 01:43:55,980 --> 01:43:58,315 The Brazilian girls were very nice. They seemed like-- 1831 01:43:58,482 --> 01:44:01,318 Oh, Jeremy, I do! 1832 01:44:01,485 --> 01:44:03,695 -I love you. -I love you. 1833 01:44:03,863 --> 01:44:06,406 I can't believe that they're getting married. 1834 01:44:06,574 --> 01:44:08,491 I mean, don't you think that's really soon? 1835 01:44:08,659 --> 01:44:11,369 Well, you know Gloria. She's impetuous. 1836 01:44:11,537 --> 01:44:13,705 Has to have what she wants when she wants it. 1837 01:44:13,873 --> 01:44:17,250 Well, we had to give her a Sweet 1 6... 1838 01:44:17,418 --> 01:44:19,753 ...on her 1 3th birthday. You remember that. 1839 01:44:19,921 --> 01:44:21,880 Yeah, I remember, but this is-- 1840 01:44:22,048 --> 01:44:23,757 Dad, this is marriage. 1841 01:44:23,925 --> 01:44:26,843 When you know what you want, you know what you want. 1842 01:44:29,597 --> 01:44:31,389 So... 1843 01:44:32,099 --> 01:44:33,767 ...which of these do you like? 1844 01:44:37,855 --> 01:44:39,189 Um.... 1845 01:44:39,774 --> 01:44:42,984 Well, I could go with the tall tapered arrangement... 1846 01:44:43,152 --> 01:44:46,780 ...with tulips and freesias and orchids... 1847 01:44:46,948 --> 01:44:51,785 ...or I could go with a votive of roses and lilies, I don't know. 1848 01:44:53,537 --> 01:44:56,539 -Claire bear. -Yeah? 1849 01:44:57,416 --> 01:44:58,541 What's wrong? 1850 01:45:03,589 --> 01:45:05,215 Look... 1851 01:45:09,345 --> 01:45:14,474 ...we have no way of knowing what lays ahead for us in the future. 1852 01:45:14,642 --> 01:45:17,143 All we can do is... 1853 01:45:17,311 --> 01:45:21,648 ...use the information at hand to make the best decision possible. 1854 01:45:24,568 --> 01:45:26,611 It's gonna be fine. 1855 01:45:26,779 --> 01:45:29,406 -Your whole life is gonna be fine. -Yeah. 1856 01:45:30,032 --> 01:45:31,866 [KNOCKING ON DOOR] 1857 01:45:41,127 --> 01:45:42,961 Happy birthday. 1858 01:45:43,129 --> 01:45:45,380 Can't let a little pissing and moaning break tradition. 1859 01:45:46,173 --> 01:45:48,591 Right, that's today. 1860 01:45:54,807 --> 01:45:57,726 I see you've been getting into a little light reading. 1861 01:45:57,893 --> 01:45:59,894 That's not mine. I bought that for a friend. 1862 01:46:00,062 --> 01:46:01,771 Yeah. 1863 01:46:01,939 --> 01:46:04,357 -So how you been? -Great. Really spectacular. 1864 01:46:04,525 --> 01:46:06,401 Good. What have you been up to? 1865 01:46:06,569 --> 01:46:09,446 You know, this and that. Crashing weddings. 1866 01:46:09,613 --> 01:46:12,115 -Alone? -No, not alone. 1867 01:46:12,283 --> 01:46:14,909 Well, who you been crashing with, then? 1868 01:46:15,453 --> 01:46:16,828 -Chazz. -Chazz? 1869 01:46:16,996 --> 01:46:19,122 -Chazz. -John, you don't even know Chazz-- 1870 01:46:19,290 --> 01:46:23,043 Yes, I do. He's a great guy. We've been having a ball together. 1871 01:46:23,210 --> 01:46:26,254 All right, look, I wanted to come by here... 1872 01:46:26,422 --> 01:46:30,091 ...and tell you that I feel really bad about everything that's happened between us. 1873 01:46:30,259 --> 01:46:31,968 Your friendship means a lot to me. 1874 01:46:33,137 --> 01:46:34,971 I miss seeing you. 1875 01:46:36,515 --> 01:46:38,475 I know, I.... 1876 01:46:38,642 --> 01:46:42,479 Look, I'm happy for you. I'm glad you found someone. 1877 01:46:43,272 --> 01:46:47,317 I can't tell you how glad it makes me to hear you say that, man. 1878 01:46:47,485 --> 01:46:50,403 Get on in here, let the big bear get his paws on you. 1879 01:46:50,571 --> 01:46:52,405 You know I love you. 1880 01:46:52,573 --> 01:46:54,157 -It's good to see you. -Good to see you. 1881 01:46:54,325 --> 01:46:57,077 You sure you've been okay? This does not look like a guy who's okay. 1882 01:46:57,244 --> 01:47:00,163 -I know. It's like a pigsty. -It's like a mosh pit in here. 1883 01:47:01,457 --> 01:47:02,624 Listen, I'm getting married. 1884 01:47:02,792 --> 01:47:04,501 -Get out. -What? 1885 01:47:04,668 --> 01:47:08,004 -You just said that you were happy for me-- -I'm hanging by a thread. 1886 01:47:08,172 --> 01:47:10,340 I'm reading don't-kill-myself books. 1887 01:47:10,508 --> 01:47:12,842 -You said it wasn't yours. -Don't worry about the book. 1888 01:47:13,010 --> 01:47:16,638 It isn't mine, but I glanced at it. 1889 01:47:17,681 --> 01:47:21,726 John, you've been my friend for 1 6 years. I'm getting married. 1890 01:47:21,894 --> 01:47:23,603 I need you there to be my best man. 1891 01:47:23,771 --> 01:47:25,188 Kindly leave. 1892 01:47:25,815 --> 01:47:28,316 -I'm try-- -Kindly leave. 1893 01:47:36,534 --> 01:47:40,203 -It'd mean a lot to me if you came. -Oh, I bet it would, hillbilly. 1894 01:47:40,371 --> 01:47:41,830 What? 1895 01:47:41,997 --> 01:47:44,207 -White trash. -What are you talking about? 1896 01:47:44,375 --> 01:47:46,668 Out. Out. 1897 01:47:47,461 --> 01:47:50,213 You better get your ass to that wedding. 1898 01:48:00,641 --> 01:48:03,810 -Yeah? -Hi, is Chazz here? 1899 01:48:05,437 --> 01:48:08,106 Chazz, there's someone here to see you! 1900 01:48:09,400 --> 01:48:12,527 Pick up your fucking skateboard! 1901 01:48:12,695 --> 01:48:14,696 [MUSIC PLAYS ON TV] 1902 01:48:19,994 --> 01:48:21,327 [DOOR SLAMS] 1903 01:48:33,632 --> 01:48:35,758 Chazz? 1904 01:48:38,512 --> 01:48:40,597 What the fuck do you want? 1905 01:48:40,973 --> 01:48:43,766 I'm John Beckwith. I'm friends with Jeremy Grey. 1906 01:48:44,518 --> 01:48:47,437 Goddamn it, why didn't you say so? 1907 01:48:47,605 --> 01:48:50,106 Come here, brother. Give me a hug. 1908 01:48:50,482 --> 01:48:53,401 Bring it in for the real thing. 1909 01:48:55,404 --> 01:48:57,739 Have a seat. Yeah. 1910 01:49:00,034 --> 01:49:01,367 Goddamn you. 1911 01:49:01,535 --> 01:49:03,536 I almost numchucked you, you don't even realize. 1912 01:49:03,871 --> 01:49:06,122 Ouch. 1913 01:49:06,290 --> 01:49:07,665 Yeah. 1914 01:49:07,833 --> 01:49:10,710 -Is this your place? -No. No, no, no. 1915 01:49:10,878 --> 01:49:12,712 -No, I live with my ma. -Oh. 1916 01:49:12,880 --> 01:49:14,380 Yeah. You hungry? 1917 01:49:14,548 --> 01:49:16,674 Hey, Ma! Can we get some meatloaf? 1918 01:49:16,842 --> 01:49:19,510 Chazz, I think I'm okay. I had a bite right before I came over. 1919 01:49:19,678 --> 01:49:21,554 -Thank you. -You sure? 1920 01:49:21,722 --> 01:49:22,972 So how's my protégé? 1921 01:49:23,140 --> 01:49:26,142 -Jeremy, boy, he-- -Yeah, J-bone. 1922 01:49:26,310 --> 01:49:29,103 J-bone is-- Believe it or not, he's getting married. 1923 01:49:29,271 --> 01:49:30,855 What? 1924 01:49:31,023 --> 01:49:33,024 [LAUGHING] 1925 01:49:33,817 --> 01:49:35,985 What an idiot! 1926 01:49:36,153 --> 01:49:38,655 Oh, what a loser! 1927 01:49:38,822 --> 01:49:42,075 Good. Good. More for me and you. 1928 01:49:42,284 --> 01:49:45,119 More for-- More for, uh-- 1929 01:49:48,415 --> 01:49:49,832 I gotta go. 1930 01:49:50,000 --> 01:49:51,542 CHAZZ: Hey, babe, yeah. 1931 01:49:51,710 --> 01:49:54,128 You do whatever you have to do. 1932 01:50:04,682 --> 01:50:07,058 -Thanks. -Okay, be strong. 1933 01:50:11,063 --> 01:50:13,189 I'm just living the dream. 1934 01:50:13,357 --> 01:50:15,191 [LAUGHING] 1935 01:50:16,360 --> 01:50:19,070 That's unbelievable. 1936 01:50:19,238 --> 01:50:21,155 Oh, man, I feel like, "Wow!" 1937 01:50:21,323 --> 01:50:23,741 It's like I come over, I don't know what to expect. 1938 01:50:23,909 --> 01:50:27,412 I gotta be honest, I come in, it's like-- A little like I'm trying to get my bearings. 1939 01:50:27,579 --> 01:50:30,623 There's cartoons, your mom, and it's like, you still got it! 1940 01:50:30,833 --> 01:50:34,669 Look at her. "Just living the dream," I love that. 1941 01:50:34,837 --> 01:50:37,088 I will have some meatloaf. Let's have some meatloaf. 1942 01:50:37,256 --> 01:50:39,215 -You want some? I knew you'd come-- -Yes. 1943 01:50:39,383 --> 01:50:42,635 Hey, Mom! The meatloaf! 1944 01:50:42,803 --> 01:50:45,680 We want it now! The meatloaf! 1945 01:50:47,308 --> 01:50:51,311 What is she doing? I never know what she's doing back there. 1946 01:50:51,478 --> 01:50:53,730 "Just living the dream." Where did you get that girl? 1947 01:50:53,897 --> 01:50:55,481 -She's hot. -I got her yesterday. 1948 01:50:55,649 --> 01:50:56,899 -Yesterday? -Yeah. 1949 01:50:57,234 --> 01:50:59,569 I rode my bike over to a cemetery nearby. 1950 01:51:00,404 --> 01:51:03,114 Her boyfriend just died. 1951 01:51:04,033 --> 01:51:06,200 -You met her at a funeral? -Yeah. 1952 01:51:06,368 --> 01:51:09,245 Dude died in a hang-gliding accident. What an idiot! 1953 01:51:09,413 --> 01:51:11,414 [LAUGHING] 1954 01:51:12,124 --> 01:51:16,502 Ahh! "I'm hang-gliding! Honey, take a good picture-- I'm dead!" 1955 01:51:18,297 --> 01:51:20,381 What a freak. 1956 01:51:20,799 --> 01:51:23,926 You met her at a funeral. 1957 01:51:24,094 --> 01:51:28,473 Yeah, I'll throw in a wedding every now and then, but funerals are insane. 1958 01:51:28,640 --> 01:51:31,601 The chicks are so horny, it's not even fair. 1959 01:51:31,769 --> 01:51:33,603 It's like fishing with dynamite. 1960 01:51:33,771 --> 01:51:37,106 -Horny? -Yeah, crazy horny. 1961 01:51:37,274 --> 01:51:40,568 I just-- At a funeral? 1962 01:51:40,736 --> 01:51:44,614 Grief is nature's most powerful aphrodisiac. 1963 01:51:45,366 --> 01:51:47,909 -Look it up. -I didn't know that. 1964 01:51:48,077 --> 01:51:49,786 That's what I've learned. 1965 01:51:50,537 --> 01:51:54,123 Ma, the meatloaf! Fuck! 1966 01:51:54,291 --> 01:51:56,626 Saturday-- I got one Saturday. 1967 01:51:56,794 --> 01:51:58,127 You're coming with! 1968 01:51:58,295 --> 01:52:00,713 Chazz, I'm sorry, I don't-- 1969 01:52:00,881 --> 01:52:04,467 I'm not judging you, because I think you're an innovator... 1970 01:52:05,969 --> 01:52:08,388 ...but there's no way I'm ready for that. 1971 01:52:09,223 --> 01:52:13,184 PRIEST: A time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted. 1972 01:52:13,352 --> 01:52:15,645 A time to kill and a time to heal. 1973 01:52:16,021 --> 01:52:19,816 A time to break down and a time to build up. 1974 01:52:19,983 --> 01:52:23,486 A time to weep and a time to laugh. 1975 01:52:23,654 --> 01:52:25,655 [SOBBING] 1976 01:52:27,825 --> 01:52:30,785 PRIEST: A time to cast away stones.... CHAZZ: It's so senseless. 1977 01:52:30,953 --> 01:52:32,870 Damn you, Roger. 1978 01:52:35,833 --> 01:52:36,833 Roger. 1979 01:52:37,084 --> 01:52:39,085 [CHAZZ CONTINUES SOBBING] 1980 01:52:40,087 --> 01:52:42,088 Oh! 1981 01:52:42,256 --> 01:52:44,132 Damn you, Roger! 1982 01:52:44,299 --> 01:52:46,175 Damn it! Damn you! 1983 01:52:46,343 --> 01:52:48,136 I'm in pain. 1984 01:52:48,303 --> 01:52:50,888 Try to fight it. Try to fight it. 1985 01:52:51,348 --> 01:52:53,266 I don't know about you people, but I'm in pain. 1986 01:52:53,434 --> 01:52:55,893 I know that there is no good in them... 1987 01:52:56,061 --> 01:52:59,355 ...for man to rejoice and to do good in his life... 1988 01:53:01,191 --> 01:53:04,986 ...for that which befalleth the sons of men, befalleth beasts. 1989 01:53:06,071 --> 01:53:08,614 Even one thing befalleth... 1990 01:53:08,782 --> 01:53:12,034 ...as the one dieth, so dieth the other. 1991 01:53:12,202 --> 01:53:14,662 Yea, they all have one breath... 1992 01:53:14,830 --> 01:53:18,583 ...so that a man hath no preeminence above the beast. 1993 01:53:19,293 --> 01:53:21,752 While each man thinks he knows love... 1994 01:53:21,920 --> 01:53:25,673 ...love, we have learned, is a mystery. 1995 01:53:26,592 --> 01:53:30,136 That's what makes today so special. 1996 01:53:31,889 --> 01:53:34,515 We witness two people choosing to marry... 1997 01:53:35,225 --> 01:53:38,895 ...ones they truly love. 1998 01:53:39,521 --> 01:53:40,897 [DOOR SLAMS] 1999 01:53:46,320 --> 01:53:47,570 Whoa, whoa, hey! 2000 01:53:47,738 --> 01:53:48,905 Hey! Hey! 2001 01:53:51,408 --> 01:53:52,867 He's the best man. 2002 01:53:55,329 --> 01:53:56,746 Yeah. 2003 01:53:56,914 --> 01:53:58,915 Thank you. 2004 01:54:15,265 --> 01:54:16,766 I don't believe this. 2005 01:54:27,861 --> 01:54:29,237 Hat in hand. 2006 01:54:29,404 --> 01:54:30,821 I'm sorry I'm late. 2007 01:54:31,323 --> 01:54:33,324 I'm glad you're here. 2008 01:54:33,492 --> 01:54:36,702 And I'm sorry I called you white trash. I didn't-- 2009 01:54:36,870 --> 01:54:39,539 -John, apology accepted. -Okay. 2010 01:54:39,706 --> 01:54:42,792 And I'm sorry I called you a hillbilly, I don't even know what that meant. 2011 01:54:42,960 --> 01:54:45,044 John, it's okay. 2012 01:54:45,212 --> 01:54:46,879 Do you mind if I get married now? 2013 01:54:47,047 --> 01:54:48,881 -No, go ahead. - [MOUTHING] Okay. 2014 01:54:50,217 --> 01:54:51,968 Hi, Todd. 2015 01:54:53,971 --> 01:54:56,514 Although we may choose whom we marry... 2016 01:54:57,140 --> 01:54:58,599 -...we don't always choose.... -Psst. 2017 01:54:58,767 --> 01:55:02,812 [WHISPERING] Claire, I'm not here to bother you, I just came to be his best man. 2018 01:55:02,980 --> 01:55:05,815 Don't worry about me. Pretend I'm not here. 2019 01:55:06,650 --> 01:55:07,817 [MOUTHING] Okay. 2020 01:55:08,860 --> 01:55:10,236 I'm not a nut. 2021 01:55:13,115 --> 01:55:15,783 You look really pretty, by the way. That's all I'm gonna say. 2022 01:55:18,704 --> 01:55:20,538 I can't stop thinking about you. 2023 01:55:20,706 --> 01:55:22,707 It's all I think about and I don't know what to do. 2024 01:55:22,874 --> 01:55:24,166 JEREMY: Ahem. -I'm sorry. 2025 01:55:26,837 --> 01:55:29,338 O'NEIL: You see, love is mysterious.... 2026 01:55:29,506 --> 01:55:31,132 God, I miss you. 2027 01:55:33,760 --> 01:55:35,595 [WHISPERING] Okay, excuse me, I'm sorry. 2028 01:55:37,264 --> 01:55:40,266 [IN NORMAL VOICE] Claire, hold it a second. Claire, Claire. 2029 01:55:40,434 --> 01:55:42,518 Claire, will you wait just a second? 2030 01:55:42,686 --> 01:55:46,939 All I wanted was a second alone so I could try to explain things. 2031 01:55:47,274 --> 01:55:49,025 But I've never gotten that chance. 2032 01:55:50,193 --> 01:55:52,528 Maybe I don't deserve it. 2033 01:55:52,696 --> 01:55:54,030 So here goes. 2034 01:55:54,531 --> 01:55:59,327 For longer than I care to remember, my business has been crashing weddings. 2035 01:55:59,703 --> 01:56:01,829 I crashed weddings to meet girls. 2036 01:56:01,997 --> 01:56:03,873 Business was good. 2037 01:56:04,041 --> 01:56:06,042 I met a lot of girls. 2038 01:56:06,209 --> 01:56:09,670 And it was childish, it was juvenile-- 2039 01:56:09,838 --> 01:56:11,297 And pathetic. 2040 01:56:11,673 --> 01:56:15,426 Yeah, that's probably the best word to describe it. 2041 01:56:15,594 --> 01:56:18,304 But you know what? It also led me to you. 2042 01:56:18,889 --> 01:56:21,599 So it's hard for me to completely regret it. 2043 01:56:21,767 --> 01:56:25,561 And that person that you met back at your folks' place, that was really me. 2044 01:56:25,729 --> 01:56:29,106 Maybe not my name-- I'm John Beckwith, by the way. 2045 01:56:29,274 --> 01:56:30,650 --or my job... 2046 01:56:30,817 --> 01:56:32,401 ...but the feelings we felt... 2047 01:56:32,903 --> 01:56:36,697 ...the jokes, the stupid laughs, that was all me. 2048 01:56:36,865 --> 01:56:39,575 I've changed. I've realized something. 2049 01:56:39,743 --> 01:56:42,828 -I crashed a funeral earlier, and I-- -Wha...? 2050 01:56:42,996 --> 01:56:44,038 [SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY] 2051 01:56:44,206 --> 01:56:46,207 Oh, Jesus. 2052 01:56:47,209 --> 01:56:50,002 It wasn't my idea. I was basically dragged to it. 2053 01:56:50,170 --> 01:56:53,839 I went with Chazz, who you forgot to tell me is totally insane. 2054 01:56:54,424 --> 01:56:58,302 He also might be a genius, because it actually does work. He's cleaning up. 2055 01:56:58,470 --> 01:57:00,930 CLAIRE: John. -I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. 2056 01:57:01,098 --> 01:57:02,556 That's neither here nor there. 2057 01:57:02,724 --> 01:57:05,851 And I see this widow and she's a wreck. 2058 01:57:06,019 --> 01:57:09,271 She's just lost the person she loves the most in this world. 2059 01:57:10,440 --> 01:57:13,734 And I realized we're all gonna lose the people we love. 2060 01:57:14,236 --> 01:57:16,487 That's the way it is. 2061 01:57:16,655 --> 01:57:20,282 But not me, not right now. 2062 01:57:20,450 --> 01:57:23,285 Because the person I love the most is standing right here... 2063 01:57:24,329 --> 01:57:26,455 ...and I'm not ready to lose you yet. 2064 01:57:26,957 --> 01:57:30,710 Claire, I'm not standing here asking you to marry me. 2065 01:57:30,877 --> 01:57:33,129 I'm just asking you... 2066 01:57:33,296 --> 01:57:35,548 ...not to marry him. 2067 01:57:36,633 --> 01:57:37,925 And maybe take a walk. 2068 01:57:38,093 --> 01:57:40,052 Take a chance. 2069 01:57:41,096 --> 01:57:43,973 Wow. Wow! 2070 01:57:45,559 --> 01:57:50,229 This congregation really doesn't care about how depressing your life is, John, okay? 2071 01:57:50,397 --> 01:57:54,400 Claire, baby, could you go back up on the altar so we can have a wedding? 2072 01:57:56,653 --> 01:57:58,654 I'm sorry. 2073 01:57:59,114 --> 01:58:00,156 I am. 2074 01:58:00,323 --> 01:58:01,782 SACK: What? 2075 01:58:03,160 --> 01:58:04,785 I can't marry you. 2076 01:58:07,914 --> 01:58:09,832 [CHUCKLES] 2077 01:58:10,000 --> 01:58:11,333 Secretary... 2078 01:58:11,501 --> 01:58:14,170 ...your daughter's a little.... 2079 01:58:16,882 --> 01:58:19,842 Sack, I've always liked you... 2080 01:58:20,552 --> 01:58:24,847 ...so I put up with your stories about scallops and otters... 2081 01:58:25,015 --> 01:58:28,350 ...and it's all good because you seemed to make her happy... 2082 01:58:28,518 --> 01:58:31,228 ...and that's what matters to me most. 2083 01:58:31,396 --> 01:58:34,523 But this is her decision. 2084 01:58:37,110 --> 01:58:39,653 I stand by my daughter. 2085 01:58:39,821 --> 01:58:41,030 You don't know shit. 2086 01:58:41,198 --> 01:58:43,365 -Claire, go back up on the altar. -No. 2087 01:58:43,533 --> 01:58:46,327 Claire! Claire, get up on that altar right now. 2088 01:58:46,495 --> 01:58:47,703 Stop it. 2089 01:58:47,871 --> 01:58:49,997 Claire, get your fucking ass on that altar right now! 2090 01:58:50,165 --> 01:58:52,750 Wow, getting a nice preview of what marriage is gonna be like... 2091 01:58:52,918 --> 01:58:54,001 ...with Ike Turner here. 2092 01:58:56,046 --> 01:58:57,797 -Sack! -Oh, God, here it goes. 2093 01:58:57,964 --> 01:58:59,840 [GRUNTING] 2094 01:59:00,008 --> 01:59:01,425 [PEOPLE SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY] 2095 01:59:01,593 --> 01:59:03,803 Share that with the Dalai Lama, jackass. 2096 01:59:05,889 --> 01:59:08,557 -I think I had him. -I know you did. 2097 01:59:08,725 --> 01:59:10,226 Just go kiss the broad. 2098 01:59:12,813 --> 01:59:14,814 [MOANING] 2099 01:59:21,488 --> 01:59:23,864 Would it be a total cliché if I kissed you right now? 2100 01:59:25,242 --> 01:59:26,826 Yes. 2101 01:59:35,877 --> 01:59:38,087 Just wonderful. 2102 01:59:39,464 --> 01:59:42,007 So damn beautiful. 2103 01:59:43,510 --> 01:59:45,886 With every death there comes rebirth. 2104 01:59:46,054 --> 01:59:48,138 -It's the circle of life. -Oh. 2105 01:59:49,266 --> 01:59:50,391 We're gonna be all right. 2106 01:59:51,518 --> 01:59:53,227 Hey. 2107 01:59:58,692 --> 02:00:00,651 [CRYING] 2108 02:00:00,819 --> 02:00:02,319 Hey. 2109 02:00:05,574 --> 02:00:06,949 [LAUGHING] 2110 02:00:07,117 --> 02:00:09,743 -So, what's next? -I'm starving. 2111 02:00:09,911 --> 02:00:12,371 Fujimora wedding, 3 p.m. 2112 02:00:12,539 --> 02:00:13,789 Hey, hey. 2113 02:00:13,957 --> 02:00:16,709 I'm just throwing it out there. I'm just saying, just.... 2114 02:00:18,128 --> 02:00:19,962 They would have great tempura. 2115 02:00:20,130 --> 02:00:22,381 We don't even have a back-story, I just.... 2116 02:00:22,549 --> 02:00:25,134 -No, forget it, forget it. -I'm talking out loud. 2117 02:00:26,303 --> 02:00:30,055 We're a folk-singing group from Salt Lake City. 2118 02:00:30,223 --> 02:00:32,099 Yeah. 2119 02:00:32,434 --> 02:00:33,642 Yes, we are. 2120 02:00:36,646 --> 02:00:38,647 [SCREAMING] 2121 02:06:54,357 --> 02:06:56,358 Subtitles by SDI Media Group 2122 02:06:56,526 --> 02:06:58,527 [ENGLISH SDH]