1
00:00:04,047 --> 00:00:06,132
(roaring)

2
00:00:11,221 --> 00:00:14,265
(somber piano music)

3
00:00:16,977 --> 00:00:19,688
(pleasant music)

4
00:00:31,116 --> 00:00:34,119
(upbeat piano music)

5
00:02:14,844 --> 00:02:17,305
I was sitting with my
friend, Arthur Cornbloom,

6
00:02:18,473 --> 00:02:19,640
in a restaurant.

7
00:02:19,641 --> 00:02:21,643
It was an Horn & Hardart cafeteria

8
00:02:22,936 --> 00:02:27,689
and this beautiful girl walked
in and I turned to Arthur

9
00:02:27,690 --> 00:02:30,943
and I said, "Arthur, you see that girl?

10
00:02:30,944 --> 00:02:32,861
"I'm going to marry her."

11
00:02:32,862 --> 00:02:35,656
And two weeks later we were married

12
00:02:35,657 --> 00:02:40,495
and it's over 50 years later
and we are still married.

13
00:02:47,585 --> 00:02:51,672
♪ It's very clear ♪

14
00:02:51,673 --> 00:02:55,676
♪ Our love is here to stay ♪

15
00:02:55,677 --> 00:02:57,928
I love you.

16
00:02:57,929 --> 00:03:02,015
♪ Not for all year ♪

17
00:03:02,016 --> 00:03:06,980
♪ But ever and a day ♪

18
00:03:07,188 --> 00:03:09,898
♪ Oh, the radio ♪

19
00:03:09,899 --> 00:03:12,693
♪ And the telephones ♪

20
00:03:12,694 --> 00:03:16,655
♪ And the movies that we know ♪

21
00:03:16,656 --> 00:03:20,159
♪ May just be passing fancies ♪

22
00:03:20,160 --> 00:03:22,871
(birds chirping)

23
00:03:26,583 --> 00:03:30,210
(clearing throat)

24
00:03:30,211 --> 00:03:32,129
(clearing throat loudly)

25
00:03:32,130 --> 00:03:33,589
Oh hi, Sally.

26
00:03:33,590 --> 00:03:35,424
Sally, this is Harry Burns.

27
00:03:35,425 --> 00:03:37,509
Harry, this is Sally Albright.

28
00:03:37,510 --> 00:03:38,886
Nice to meet you.

29
00:03:38,887 --> 00:03:40,345
You wanna drive the first shift?

30
00:03:40,346 --> 00:03:42,556
No, you're there already, you can start.

31
00:03:42,557 --> 00:03:43,349
Back's open.

32
00:03:45,643 --> 00:03:47,186
Call me.

33
00:03:47,187 --> 00:03:48,770
I'll call you as soon as I get there.

34
00:03:48,771 --> 00:03:49,939
Call me from the road.

35
00:03:51,524 --> 00:03:53,066
I'll call you before that.

36
00:03:53,067 --> 00:03:54,944
I love you.

37
00:03:57,739 --> 00:04:00,115
(horn honking)

38
00:04:00,116 --> 00:04:00,909
Sorry.

39
00:04:02,327 --> 00:04:03,535
I miss you already.

40
00:04:03,536 --> 00:04:04,369
- I miss you.
- Huh?

41
00:04:04,370 --> 00:04:05,204
I miss you already.

42
00:04:05,205 --> 00:04:06,121
Bye.

43
00:04:06,122 --> 00:04:07,039
Bye.

44
00:04:07,040 --> 00:04:10,459
♪ In time, the Rockies may crumble ♪

45
00:04:10,460 --> 00:04:13,337
♪ Gibraltar may tumble ♪

46
00:04:13,338 --> 00:04:15,839
♪ They only made of clay ♪

47
00:04:15,840 --> 00:04:18,008
♪ But ♪

48
00:04:18,009 --> 00:04:22,972
♪ Our love is here to stay ♪

49
00:04:24,265 --> 00:04:25,933
I have it all figured out.

50
00:04:25,934 --> 00:04:27,017
It's an 18 hour trip,

51
00:04:27,018 --> 00:04:29,478
which breaks down into six
shifts of three hours each

52
00:04:29,479 --> 00:04:32,398
or alternatively we can
break it down by mileage.

53
00:04:34,359 --> 00:04:37,152
There's a map on the visor

54
00:04:37,153 --> 00:04:39,488
that I've marked to show the locations

55
00:04:39,489 --> 00:04:41,198
where we can change shifts.

56
00:04:41,199 --> 00:04:41,991
Grape?

57
00:04:43,159 --> 00:04:45,078
No, I don't like to eat between meals.

58
00:04:50,166 --> 00:04:51,501
I'll roll down the window.

59
00:05:00,385 --> 00:05:02,262
Why don't you tell me
the story of your life?

60
00:05:05,139 --> 00:05:06,473
The story of my life?

61
00:05:06,474 --> 00:05:09,476
We got 18 hours to kill
before we hit New York.

62
00:05:09,477 --> 00:05:10,769
The story of my life isn't even gonna

63
00:05:10,770 --> 00:05:11,770
get us out of Chicago.

64
00:05:11,771 --> 00:05:13,563
I mean, nothing's happened to me yet.

65
00:05:13,564 --> 00:05:14,856
That's why I'm going to New York.

66
00:05:14,857 --> 00:05:15,941
So something happened to you?

67
00:05:15,942 --> 00:05:17,734
- Yes.
- Like what?

68
00:05:17,735 --> 00:05:20,445
Like I'm going journalism
school to become a reporter.

69
00:05:20,446 --> 00:05:24,449
So you can write about things
that happen to other people.

70
00:05:24,450 --> 00:05:25,867
That's one way to look at it.

71
00:05:25,868 --> 00:05:27,452
Suppose nothing happens to you.

72
00:05:27,453 --> 00:05:29,413
Suppose you lived out your
whole life and nothing happens,

73
00:05:29,414 --> 00:05:31,415
you never meet anybody,
you never become anything

74
00:05:31,416 --> 00:05:33,458
and finally you die in one
of those New York deaths

75
00:05:33,459 --> 00:05:34,751
where nobody notices for two weeks

76
00:05:34,752 --> 00:05:36,713
until the smell drifts into the hallway.

77
00:05:39,590 --> 00:05:41,591
[Sally] Amanda mentioned
you had a dark side.

78
00:05:41,592 --> 00:05:42,884
[Harry] That's what drew her to me.

79
00:05:42,885 --> 00:05:43,719
[Sally] Your dark side.

80
00:05:43,720 --> 00:05:44,553
Sure.

81
00:05:44,554 --> 00:05:46,555
Why, don't you have a dark side?

82
00:05:46,556 --> 00:05:48,181
No, you're probably one
of those cheerful people

83
00:05:48,182 --> 00:05:50,309
who dots their i's with little hearts.

84
00:05:50,310 --> 00:05:53,020
I have just as much of a
dark side as the next person.

85
00:05:53,021 --> 00:05:54,062
Oh really.

86
00:05:54,063 --> 00:05:56,565
When I buy a new book, I always
read the last page first.

87
00:05:56,566 --> 00:05:59,401
That way, in case I die before
I finish, I know how it ends.

88
00:05:59,402 --> 00:06:01,070
That, my friend, is a dark side.

89
00:06:02,155 --> 00:06:03,655
That doesn't mean
you're deep or anything.

90
00:06:03,656 --> 00:06:04,656
I mean,

91
00:06:04,657 --> 00:06:06,825
yes, basically I'm a happy person.

92
00:06:06,826 --> 00:06:07,659
[Harry] So am I.

93
00:06:07,660 --> 00:06:09,536
And I don't see that there's
anything wrong with that.

94
00:06:09,537 --> 00:06:10,829
Of course not, you're
too busy being happy.

95
00:06:10,830 --> 00:06:12,998
Do you ever think about death?

96
00:06:12,999 --> 00:06:13,957
Yes.

97
00:06:13,958 --> 00:06:14,791
Sure you do.

98
00:06:14,792 --> 00:06:15,625
A fleeting thought that jumps in and out

99
00:06:15,626 --> 00:06:16,752
of the transient of your mind.

100
00:06:16,753 --> 00:06:18,128
I spend hours, I spend days.

101
00:06:18,129 --> 00:06:20,881
And you think this
makes you a better person?

102
00:06:20,882 --> 00:06:22,507
Look, when the shit comes down,

103
00:06:22,508 --> 00:06:24,051
I'm gonna be prepared and you're
not, that's all I'm saying.

104
00:06:24,052 --> 00:06:25,886
And in the mean time, you're gonna ruin

105
00:06:25,887 --> 00:06:27,388
your whole life waiting for it.

106
00:06:31,476 --> 00:06:34,687
(pleasant piano music)

107
00:06:36,230 --> 00:06:37,064
You're wrong!

108
00:06:37,065 --> 00:06:37,898
[Harry] I'm not wrong.

109
00:06:37,899 --> 00:06:38,732
[Sally] You're wrong!

110
00:06:38,733 --> 00:06:39,691
[Harry] He wants her to leave.

111
00:06:39,692 --> 00:06:40,901
That's why he puts her on the plane.

112
00:06:40,902 --> 00:06:42,694
[Sally] I don't think she wants to stay.

113
00:06:42,695 --> 00:06:44,112
[Harry] Of course she wants to stay.

114
00:06:44,113 --> 00:06:45,864
Wouldn't you rather be
with Humphrey Bogart

115
00:06:45,865 --> 00:06:46,698
than the other guy?

116
00:06:46,699 --> 00:06:48,909
[Sally] I don't want to
spend the rest of my life

117
00:06:48,910 --> 00:06:52,537
in Casablanca married
to a man who runs a bar.

118
00:06:52,538 --> 00:06:55,165
That probably sounds very
snobbish to you but I don't.

119
00:06:55,166 --> 00:06:56,875
[Harry] You'd rather be
in a passionless marriage.

120
00:06:56,876 --> 00:06:58,794
[Sally] And be the First
Lady of Czechoslovakia.

121
00:06:58,795 --> 00:06:59,795
Than live with the man you've had

122
00:06:59,796 --> 00:07:01,630
the greatest sex of you life with,

123
00:07:01,631 --> 00:07:04,674
just because he owns a bar
and that is all he does?

124
00:07:04,675 --> 00:07:06,176
Yes.

125
00:07:06,177 --> 00:07:08,220
And so would any woman in her right mind.

126
00:07:08,221 --> 00:07:10,764
Women are very practical,
even Ingrid Bergman,

127
00:07:10,765 --> 00:07:13,976
which is why she gets on the
plane at the end of the movie.

128
00:07:17,772 --> 00:07:18,564
I understand.

129
00:07:19,941 --> 00:07:21,274
What?

130
00:07:21,275 --> 00:07:22,109
What?

131
00:07:22,110 --> 00:07:23,151
Nothing.

132
00:07:23,152 --> 00:07:23,985
What?

133
00:07:23,986 --> 00:07:25,112
Forget about it.

134
00:07:25,113 --> 00:07:26,655
What, forget about what?

135
00:07:26,656 --> 00:07:27,656
It's not important.

136
00:07:27,657 --> 00:07:28,491
Just tell me.

137
00:07:30,326 --> 00:07:33,245
Obviously you haven't had great sex yet.

138
00:07:33,246 --> 00:07:34,746
Two please.

139
00:07:34,747 --> 00:07:35,747
- Right over there.
- (crowed commotion)

140
00:07:35,748 --> 00:07:36,915
- Yes I have.
- (crowed commotion)

141
00:07:36,916 --> 00:07:37,916
- No you haven't.
- (crowed commotion)

142
00:07:37,917 --> 00:07:41,128
It just so happens that I
have had plenty of good sex.

143
00:07:41,129 --> 00:07:43,923
(crowd silencing)

144
00:07:49,720 --> 00:07:54,724
("Ramblin' Man" by The
Allman Brothers Band)

145
00:07:54,725 --> 00:07:58,813
♪ Lord, I was born a ramblin' man ♪

146
00:08:00,064 --> 00:08:01,023
With whom?

147
00:08:02,358 --> 00:08:03,608
What?

148
00:08:03,609 --> 00:08:05,403
With whom did you have this great sex?

149
00:08:06,362 --> 00:08:08,572
I'm not gonna tell you that.

150
00:08:08,573 --> 00:08:09,615
Fine, don't tell me.

151
00:08:11,117 --> 00:08:15,745
♪ I was born a ramblin' man ♪

152
00:08:15,746 --> 00:08:16,581
Shel Gordon.

153
00:08:17,540 --> 00:08:19,666
Shel? Sheldon?

154
00:08:19,667 --> 00:08:23,170
No, no, you didn't have
great sex with Sheldon.

155
00:08:23,171 --> 00:08:24,212
I did too.

156
00:08:24,213 --> 00:08:25,006
No you didn't.

157
00:08:26,048 --> 00:08:28,133
A Sheldon can do your income taxes.

158
00:08:28,134 --> 00:08:30,552
If you need a root canal,
Sheldon's your man,

159
00:08:30,553 --> 00:08:33,013
but humping and pumping is
not Sheldon's strong suit.

160
00:08:33,014 --> 00:08:33,847
It's the name.

161
00:08:33,848 --> 00:08:36,349
"Do it to me, Sheldon,
you're an animal, Sheldon,

162
00:08:36,350 --> 00:08:38,935
"ride me big Sheldon."

163
00:08:38,936 --> 00:08:40,187
Doesn't work.

164
00:08:40,188 --> 00:08:41,730
[Waitress] Hi.

165
00:08:41,731 --> 00:08:42,564
What can I get you?

166
00:08:42,565 --> 00:08:43,941
I'll have the number three.

167
00:08:45,443 --> 00:08:46,610
I'd like the chef salad, please,

168
00:08:46,611 --> 00:08:48,028
with the oil and vinegar on the side

169
00:08:48,029 --> 00:08:49,821
and the apple pie a la mode.

170
00:08:49,822 --> 00:08:52,741
Chef and apple a la mode.

171
00:08:52,742 --> 00:08:54,618
But I'd like the pie heated

172
00:08:54,619 --> 00:08:56,912
and I don't want the ice cream
on top, I want it on the side

173
00:08:56,913 --> 00:08:59,122
and I'd like strawberry instead
of vanilla if you have it.

174
00:08:59,123 --> 00:09:00,957
If not, then no ice
cream just whipped cream

175
00:09:00,958 --> 00:09:03,627
but only if it's real, if it's
out of a can then nothing.

176
00:09:03,628 --> 00:09:04,878
Not even the pie?

177
00:09:04,879 --> 00:09:06,839
No, just the pie but then not heated.

178
00:09:08,132 --> 00:09:08,925
Uh huh.

179
00:09:14,138 --> 00:09:15,472
What?

180
00:09:15,473 --> 00:09:16,390
Nothing, nothing.

181
00:09:19,227 --> 00:09:20,560
So, how come you broke up with Sheldon?

182
00:09:20,561 --> 00:09:22,562
How do you know we broke up?

183
00:09:22,563 --> 00:09:23,563
Because if you didn't break up,

184
00:09:23,564 --> 00:09:24,606
you wouldn't be here with me.

185
00:09:24,607 --> 00:09:27,109
You'd be off with Sheldon
the wonder-schlong.

186
00:09:28,194 --> 00:09:31,571
First of all, I am not "with" you,

187
00:09:31,572 --> 00:09:33,698
and second of all, it
is none of your business

188
00:09:33,699 --> 00:09:35,242
why we broke up.

189
00:09:35,243 --> 00:09:36,785
You're right, you're right.

190
00:09:36,786 --> 00:09:37,662
I don't wanna know.

191
00:09:41,457 --> 00:09:42,582
Well if you must know,

192
00:09:42,583 --> 00:09:44,125
it was because he was very jealous

193
00:09:44,126 --> 00:09:46,127
and I had these
days-of-the-week underpants.

194
00:09:46,128 --> 00:09:47,212
(imitating a wrong answer buzzer)

195
00:09:47,213 --> 00:09:49,005
I'm sorry, I need a
judge's ruling on this.

196
00:09:49,006 --> 00:09:51,216
"Days-of-week underpants."

197
00:09:51,217 --> 00:09:52,175
Yes.

198
00:09:52,176 --> 00:09:53,426
They had the days of the week on them

199
00:09:53,427 --> 00:09:55,554
and I thought they were sort of funny.

200
00:09:55,555 --> 00:09:56,930
And then one day, Sheldon says to me,

201
00:09:56,931 --> 00:09:59,307
"You never wear Sunday."

202
00:09:59,308 --> 00:10:00,976
It's all suspicious, "Where was Sunday?

203
00:10:00,977 --> 00:10:02,519
"Where had I left Sunday?"

204
00:10:02,520 --> 00:10:05,188
And I told him and he didn't believe me.

205
00:10:05,189 --> 00:10:06,356
What?

206
00:10:06,357 --> 00:10:08,275
They don't make Sunday.

207
00:10:08,276 --> 00:10:09,068
Why not?

208
00:10:09,986 --> 00:10:10,903
Because of God.

209
00:10:13,281 --> 00:10:15,907
(crickets chirping)

210
00:10:15,908 --> 00:10:18,285
Okay, so 15 percent of my share

211
00:10:18,286 --> 00:10:19,078
is 90.

212
00:10:20,997 --> 00:10:21,789
6.90.

213
00:10:26,419 --> 00:10:27,878
This leaves seven.

214
00:10:30,965 --> 00:10:31,757
What?

215
00:10:34,552 --> 00:10:37,262
Do I have something on my face?

216
00:10:37,263 --> 00:10:39,140
You're a very attractive person.

217
00:10:42,059 --> 00:10:43,435
Thank you.

218
00:10:43,436 --> 00:10:45,895
Amanda never said how
attractive you were.

219
00:10:45,896 --> 00:10:48,607
Well may be she doesn't
think I'm attractive.

220
00:10:48,608 --> 00:10:50,233
I don't think it's a matter of opinion.

221
00:10:50,234 --> 00:10:51,777
Empirically, you are attractive.

222
00:10:54,655 --> 00:10:56,823
Amanda is my friend.

223
00:10:56,824 --> 00:10:58,408
So?

224
00:10:58,409 --> 00:10:59,909
So, you're going with her.

225
00:10:59,910 --> 00:11:01,453
So?

226
00:11:01,454 --> 00:11:02,997
So you're coming on to me.

227
00:11:04,165 --> 00:11:05,041
No I wasn't.

228
00:11:07,168 --> 00:11:07,960
What?

229
00:11:09,420 --> 00:11:11,004
Can't a man say a woman is attractive

230
00:11:11,005 --> 00:11:12,298
without it being a come-on?

231
00:11:13,507 --> 00:11:14,924
All right, all right.

232
00:11:14,925 --> 00:11:17,636
Let's just say, just for
the sake of argument,

233
00:11:17,637 --> 00:11:19,679
that it was a come-on.

234
00:11:19,680 --> 00:11:21,514
What do you want me to do about it?

235
00:11:21,515 --> 00:11:22,849
I take it back, okay?

236
00:11:22,850 --> 00:11:23,975
I take it back.

237
00:11:23,976 --> 00:11:25,352
You can't take it back.

238
00:11:25,353 --> 00:11:26,353
Why not?

239
00:11:26,354 --> 00:11:28,146
Because it's already out there.

240
00:11:28,147 --> 00:11:30,148
Oh geez, what are we suppose to do?

241
00:11:30,149 --> 00:11:31,941
Call the cops, it's already out there.

242
00:11:31,942 --> 00:11:34,986
Just let it lie.

243
00:11:34,987 --> 00:11:36,237
Okay?

244
00:11:36,238 --> 00:11:37,572
Great, let it lie.

245
00:11:37,573 --> 00:11:38,949
That's my policy.

246
00:11:39,909 --> 00:11:43,119
That's what I always say, "Let it lie."

247
00:11:43,120 --> 00:11:44,913
Wanna spend the night at a motel?

248
00:11:44,914 --> 00:11:45,747
See what I did?

249
00:11:45,748 --> 00:11:47,082
- I didn't let it lie.
- Harry.

250
00:11:47,083 --> 00:11:48,208
I said I would and then I didn't.

251
00:11:48,209 --> 00:11:49,292
- Harry.
- I went the other way.

252
00:11:49,293 --> 00:11:50,086
- Harry?
- What?

253
00:11:51,003 --> 00:11:53,546
We are just going to be friends, okay?

254
00:11:53,547 --> 00:11:54,381
Great, friends.

255
00:11:54,382 --> 00:11:55,216
It's the best thing.

256
00:11:57,593 --> 00:12:00,595
You realize, of course, that
we can never be friends.

257
00:12:00,596 --> 00:12:01,971
[Sally] Why not?

258
00:12:01,972 --> 00:12:03,473
What I'm saying is,

259
00:12:03,474 --> 00:12:06,351
and this is not a come-on
in any way, shape or form,

260
00:12:06,352 --> 00:12:08,103
is that men and women can't be friends

261
00:12:08,104 --> 00:12:10,272
because the sex part
always gets in the way.

262
00:12:13,150 --> 00:12:14,192
That's not true.

263
00:12:14,193 --> 00:12:16,027
I have a number of men friends

264
00:12:16,028 --> 00:12:17,529
and there's is no sex involved.

265
00:12:17,530 --> 00:12:19,948
- No you don't.
- Yes I do.

266
00:12:19,949 --> 00:12:21,408
You only think you do.

267
00:12:21,409 --> 00:12:22,867
You're saying I'm
having sex with these men

268
00:12:22,868 --> 00:12:23,743
without my knowledge?

269
00:12:23,744 --> 00:12:27,288
No, what I'm saying is they
all want to have sex with you.

270
00:12:27,289 --> 00:12:31,292
- They do not.
- Do too.

271
00:12:31,293 --> 00:12:32,293
How do you know?

272
00:12:32,294 --> 00:12:34,045
Because no man can
be friends with a woman

273
00:12:34,046 --> 00:12:35,171
that he finds attractive.

274
00:12:35,172 --> 00:12:37,007
He always wants to have sex with her.

275
00:12:38,259 --> 00:12:40,635
So you're saying that
a man can be friends

276
00:12:40,636 --> 00:12:42,637
with a woman he finds unattractive.

277
00:12:42,638 --> 00:12:44,640
No, you pretty much wanna nail 'em too.

278
00:12:47,393 --> 00:12:49,519
What if they don't
wanna have sex with you?

279
00:12:49,520 --> 00:12:50,353
Doesn't matter,

280
00:12:50,354 --> 00:12:51,938
because the sex thing
is already out there,

281
00:12:51,939 --> 00:12:53,565
so the friendship is ultimately doomed

282
00:12:53,566 --> 00:12:55,900
and that is the end of the story.

283
00:12:55,901 --> 00:12:57,485
Well I guess we're not
gonna be friends then.

284
00:12:57,486 --> 00:12:58,820
Guess not.

285
00:12:58,821 --> 00:12:59,613
That's too bad.

286
00:13:00,656 --> 00:13:03,075
You were the only person
that I knew in New York.

287
00:13:03,993 --> 00:13:07,495
♪ You say ee-ther and I say either ♪

288
00:13:07,496 --> 00:13:11,332
♪ You say nee-ther and I say neither ♪

289
00:13:11,333 --> 00:13:13,293
♪ Ee-ther, either ♪

290
00:13:13,294 --> 00:13:15,295
♪ A nee-ther, a neither ♪

291
00:13:15,296 --> 00:13:19,174
♪ Let's call the whole thing off ♪

292
00:13:19,175 --> 00:13:23,136
♪ You like potato and I like potahto ♪

293
00:13:23,137 --> 00:13:27,098
♪ You like tomato and I like tomahto ♪

294
00:13:27,099 --> 00:13:31,269
♪ Potato, potahto, tomato, tomahto ♪

295
00:13:31,270 --> 00:13:36,233
♪ Let's call the whole thing off ♪

296
00:13:36,567 --> 00:13:39,487
(traffic commotion)

297
00:13:42,531 --> 00:13:43,865
Thanks for the ride.

298
00:13:43,866 --> 00:13:46,201
Yeah, it was interesting.

299
00:13:46,202 --> 00:13:47,744
It was nice knowing you.

300
00:13:47,745 --> 00:13:48,537
Yeah.

301
00:13:58,088 --> 00:13:59,757
Well, have a nice life.

302
00:14:00,925 --> 00:14:01,717
You too.

303
00:14:03,677 --> 00:14:06,262
♪ You like potato and I like potahto ♪

304
00:14:06,263 --> 00:14:10,308
♪ You like tomato and I like tomahto ♪

305
00:14:10,309 --> 00:14:14,270
♪ Potato, potahto, tomato, tomahto. ♪

306
00:14:14,271 --> 00:14:19,235
♪ Let's call the whole thing off ♪

307
00:14:20,152 --> 00:14:21,945
We fell in love in high school.

308
00:14:21,946 --> 00:14:24,239
Yeah, we were high school sweethearts.

309
00:14:24,240 --> 00:14:27,534
But then after our junior
year, his parents moved away.

310
00:14:27,535 --> 00:14:29,078
But I never forgot her.

311
00:14:29,995 --> 00:14:31,621
He never forgot me.

312
00:14:31,622 --> 00:14:35,375
No, her face was burned on my brain

313
00:14:35,376 --> 00:14:39,087
and it was 34 years later that
I was walking down Broadway

314
00:14:39,088 --> 00:14:41,422
and I saw her come out of Toffenetti's.

315
00:14:41,423 --> 00:14:43,424
And we both looked at each other,

316
00:14:43,425 --> 00:14:47,846
and it was just as though
not a single day had gone by.

317
00:14:47,847 --> 00:14:51,933
She was just as beautiful
as she was at sixteen.

318
00:14:51,934 --> 00:14:53,519
He was just the same.

319
00:14:54,395 --> 00:14:56,313
He looked exactly the same.

320
00:14:59,441 --> 00:15:03,820
♪ It seems we stood and talked ♪

321
00:15:03,821 --> 00:15:08,241
♪ Like this, before ♪

322
00:15:08,242 --> 00:15:13,205
♪ We looked at each other
in the same way then ♪

323
00:15:13,372 --> 00:15:18,335
♪ But I can't remember where or when ♪

324
00:15:23,173 --> 00:15:25,885
(Sally giggling)

325
00:15:29,346 --> 00:15:32,015
Joe, I thought it was
you, I thought it was you.

326
00:15:32,016 --> 00:15:32,849
Harry Burns.

327
00:15:32,850 --> 00:15:34,350
Harry, Harry how're you doing?

328
00:15:34,351 --> 00:15:35,685
Good, how're you doing?

329
00:15:35,686 --> 00:15:37,020
Fine, I'm doing fine.

330
00:15:37,021 --> 00:15:37,854
Yeah, that's great.

331
00:15:37,855 --> 00:15:39,188
I was just walking by
and I thought it was you

332
00:15:39,189 --> 00:15:40,023
and there it is, it's you!

333
00:15:40,024 --> 00:15:41,733
- Yeah, yeah, it was.
- (laughing)

334
00:15:41,734 --> 00:15:42,859
Are you still with the DA's office?

335
00:15:42,860 --> 00:15:45,111
[Joe] No, I switched to the other side.

336
00:15:45,112 --> 00:15:45,945
What about you?

337
00:15:45,946 --> 00:15:48,406
I work with a small firm,
we do political consulting.

338
00:15:48,407 --> 00:15:50,408
- Oh, yeah.
- It's been great, yeah.

339
00:15:50,409 --> 00:15:51,784
(laughing)

340
00:15:51,785 --> 00:15:53,578
Oh, Harry, this is Sally Albright.

341
00:15:53,579 --> 00:15:54,413
Harry Burns.

342
00:15:55,539 --> 00:15:58,082
Harry and I, we used to, we
lived in the same building.

343
00:15:58,083 --> 00:16:00,252
(laughing)

344
00:16:02,046 --> 00:16:03,212
Well, listen, I got a plane to catch,

345
00:16:03,213 --> 00:16:04,380
it was really good to see you, Joe.

346
00:16:04,381 --> 00:16:05,214
[Joe] You too, Harry.

347
00:16:05,215 --> 00:16:06,008
Bye.

348
00:16:12,723 --> 00:16:14,182
Thank God he couldn't place me.

349
00:16:14,183 --> 00:16:16,601
I drove from college to New
York with him five years ago

350
00:16:16,602 --> 00:16:18,812
and it was the longest night of my life.

351
00:16:21,315 --> 00:16:22,315
What happened?

352
00:16:22,316 --> 00:16:24,275
He made a pass at me and when I said no,

353
00:16:24,276 --> 00:16:26,153
he was going with a girlfriend of mine.

354
00:16:28,322 --> 00:16:30,115
Oh God, I can't remember her name.

355
00:16:31,533 --> 00:16:32,784
Don't get involved with me, Joe,

356
00:16:32,785 --> 00:16:35,286
I am 26 years old and I
can't even remember the name

357
00:16:35,287 --> 00:16:36,746
of the girl I was such good friends with

358
00:16:36,747 --> 00:16:38,624
I wouldn't get involved
with her boyfriend.

359
00:16:39,583 --> 00:16:41,125
So what happened?

360
00:16:41,126 --> 00:16:41,960
When?

361
00:16:41,961 --> 00:16:43,878
When he made a pass
at you and you said no.

362
00:16:43,879 --> 00:16:45,088
Oh, oh.

363
00:16:45,089 --> 00:16:46,674
I said we could just be friends.

364
00:16:47,758 --> 00:16:48,841
And this part I remember,

365
00:16:48,842 --> 00:16:51,720
he said that men and women
could never really be friends.

366
00:16:53,263 --> 00:16:54,473
Do you think that's true?

367
00:16:56,558 --> 00:16:57,976
No.

368
00:16:57,977 --> 00:17:00,229
Do you have any women
friends, just friends?

369
00:17:01,522 --> 00:17:02,314
No.

370
00:17:03,315 --> 00:17:05,526
But I will get one if
it is important to you.

371
00:17:07,987 --> 00:17:10,196
Amanda Reese.

372
00:17:10,197 --> 00:17:11,949
That was her name, thank God.

373
00:17:12,866 --> 00:17:13,742
I will miss you.

374
00:17:14,660 --> 00:17:15,452
I love you.

375
00:17:16,704 --> 00:17:17,496
You do?

376
00:17:18,831 --> 00:17:19,623
Yes.

377
00:17:21,500 --> 00:17:22,292
I love you.

378
00:17:47,026 --> 00:17:48,359
And what would you like to drink?

379
00:17:48,360 --> 00:17:49,736
[Woman] Nothing, thanks.

380
00:17:49,737 --> 00:17:51,237
Do you have any Bloody Marry mix?

381
00:17:51,238 --> 00:17:52,071
[Attendant] Yes.

382
00:17:52,072 --> 00:17:53,448
No, wait.

383
00:17:53,449 --> 00:17:54,615
Here's what I want.

384
00:17:54,616 --> 00:17:56,993
Regular tomato juice, filled
up about three quarters

385
00:17:56,994 --> 00:17:59,579
than add a splash of Bloody
Marry mix, just a splash,

386
00:17:59,580 --> 00:18:01,789
and a little piece of
lime but on the side.

387
00:18:01,790 --> 00:18:03,500
The University of Chicago, right?

388
00:18:05,377 --> 00:18:06,419
Yes.

389
00:18:06,420 --> 00:18:09,088
Did you look this good at
the University of Chicago?

390
00:18:09,089 --> 00:18:09,881
No.

391
00:18:09,882 --> 00:18:10,674
Did we ever?

392
00:18:11,717 --> 00:18:12,801
No, no.

393
00:18:14,470 --> 00:18:17,473
We drove from Chicago to New
York together after graduation.

394
00:18:18,515 --> 00:18:19,599
Would you two like to sit together?

395
00:18:19,600 --> 00:18:21,018
- No.
- Great, thank you.

396
00:18:28,233 --> 00:18:29,568
You were a good friend of.

397
00:18:31,361 --> 00:18:32,154
Amanda's.

398
00:18:33,238 --> 00:18:35,031
I can't believe you
can't remember her name.

399
00:18:35,032 --> 00:18:36,282
What do you mean, I can remember.

400
00:18:36,283 --> 00:18:37,575
Amanda, right, Amanda Rice.

401
00:18:37,576 --> 00:18:38,659
- Reese.
- Reese, right.

402
00:18:38,660 --> 00:18:39,452
That's what I said.

403
00:18:39,453 --> 00:18:40,620
Whatever happened to her?

404
00:18:40,621 --> 00:18:41,537
I have no idea.

405
00:18:41,538 --> 00:18:43,414
You have no idea?

406
00:18:43,415 --> 00:18:44,624
You were really good friends with her.

407
00:18:44,625 --> 00:18:47,001
We didn't make it because
you were such good friends.

408
00:18:47,002 --> 00:18:47,960
You went with her.

409
00:18:47,961 --> 00:18:49,003
And was it worth it?

410
00:18:49,004 --> 00:18:50,546
The sacrifice for a
friend that you don't even

411
00:18:50,547 --> 00:18:51,672
keep in touch with?

412
00:18:51,673 --> 00:18:53,925
Harry, you might not believe this

413
00:18:53,926 --> 00:18:57,429
but I never considered not
sleeping with you a sacrifice.

414
00:18:58,388 --> 00:18:59,847
Fair enough.

415
00:18:59,848 --> 00:19:00,682
Fair enough.

416
00:19:04,478 --> 00:19:05,353
You were gonna be a gymnast.

417
00:19:05,354 --> 00:19:06,270
A journalist.

418
00:19:06,271 --> 00:19:08,231
Right, that's what I said, and?

419
00:19:08,232 --> 00:19:10,483
I am a journalist, I work at the news.

420
00:19:10,484 --> 00:19:12,111
Great and you're with Joe.

421
00:19:12,986 --> 00:19:14,737
Well that's great.

422
00:19:14,738 --> 00:19:15,947
Great.

423
00:19:15,948 --> 00:19:17,658
You're together, what, three weeks?

424
00:19:19,535 --> 00:19:20,618
A month.

425
00:19:20,619 --> 00:19:21,452
How did you know that?

426
00:19:21,453 --> 00:19:22,703
You take someone to the airport,

427
00:19:22,704 --> 00:19:24,539
it's clearly the beginning
of a relationship.

428
00:19:24,540 --> 00:19:26,666
That's why I have never
taken anyone to the airport

429
00:19:26,667 --> 00:19:28,876
at the beginning of a relationship.

430
00:19:28,877 --> 00:19:29,877
Why?

431
00:19:29,878 --> 00:19:31,337
Because eventually things move on

432
00:19:31,338 --> 00:19:32,922
and you don't take someone to the airport,

433
00:19:32,923 --> 00:19:34,590
and I never wanted anyone to say to me,

434
00:19:34,591 --> 00:19:37,136
"How come you never take
me to the airport anymore?"

435
00:19:38,470 --> 00:19:41,180
It's amazing, you look
like a normal person

436
00:19:41,181 --> 00:19:43,391
but actually you're the Angel of Death.

437
00:19:43,392 --> 00:19:44,643
Are you gonna marry him?

438
00:19:46,854 --> 00:19:48,604
We have only known
each other for a month,

439
00:19:48,605 --> 00:19:50,189
and besides, neither one of us is looking

440
00:19:50,190 --> 00:19:51,858
to get married right now.

441
00:19:51,859 --> 00:19:53,734
I'm getting married.

442
00:19:53,735 --> 00:19:54,569
You are?

443
00:19:54,570 --> 00:19:56,028
Mhmm.

444
00:19:56,029 --> 00:19:56,988
You are.

445
00:19:56,989 --> 00:19:57,781
Yeah.

446
00:19:58,991 --> 00:20:00,199
Who is she?

447
00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:03,327
Helen Helson, she's a
lawyer, she's keeping her name.

448
00:20:03,328 --> 00:20:04,495
(laughing)

449
00:20:04,496 --> 00:20:05,955
You're getting married.

450
00:20:05,956 --> 00:20:07,957
- Yeah.
- (laughing)

451
00:20:07,958 --> 00:20:09,208
What's so funny about that?

452
00:20:09,209 --> 00:20:09,960
It's, no.

453
00:20:11,336 --> 00:20:13,212
(laughing)

454
00:20:13,213 --> 00:20:15,464
It's just so optimistic of you, Harry.

455
00:20:15,465 --> 00:20:17,175
Well you'd be amazed
what falling madly in love

456
00:20:17,176 --> 00:20:18,467
can do for you.

457
00:20:18,468 --> 00:20:19,552
Well it's wonderful.

458
00:20:19,553 --> 00:20:22,138
It's nice to see you
embracing life in this manner.

459
00:20:22,139 --> 00:20:24,098
Yeah, plus you know you
just get to a certain point

460
00:20:24,099 --> 00:20:26,475
where you get tired of the whole thing.

461
00:20:26,476 --> 00:20:27,560
What "whole thing?"

462
00:20:27,561 --> 00:20:29,812
The whole life-of-a-single-guy thing.

463
00:20:29,813 --> 00:20:31,606
You meet someone, you have the safe lunch,

464
00:20:31,607 --> 00:20:34,275
you decide you like each other
enough to move on to dinner.

465
00:20:34,276 --> 00:20:36,653
You go dancing, you do
the white-man's over-bite,

466
00:20:38,155 --> 00:20:39,739
go back to her place, you have sex

467
00:20:39,740 --> 00:20:40,615
and the minute you're finished,

468
00:20:40,616 --> 00:20:42,241
you know what goes through your mind?

469
00:20:42,242 --> 00:20:44,076
How long do I have to
lie here and hold her

470
00:20:44,077 --> 00:20:45,995
before I can get up and go home?

471
00:20:45,996 --> 00:20:47,164
Is 30 seconds enough?

472
00:20:48,248 --> 00:20:49,749
That's what you're thinking?

473
00:20:49,750 --> 00:20:51,083
Is that true?

474
00:20:51,084 --> 00:20:52,461
Sure, all men think that.

475
00:20:53,754 --> 00:20:56,005
How long do you want
to be held afterwards?

476
00:20:56,006 --> 00:20:57,298
All night, right?

477
00:20:57,299 --> 00:20:58,299
See that's the problem.

478
00:20:58,300 --> 00:21:01,552
Somewhere between 30 seconds
and all night is your problem.

479
00:21:01,553 --> 00:21:02,887
I don't have a problem.

480
00:21:02,888 --> 00:21:03,680
Yeah you do.

481
00:21:05,807 --> 00:21:08,936
(airplane screeching)

482
00:21:19,321 --> 00:21:20,113
Staying over?

483
00:21:21,240 --> 00:21:22,073
Yes.

484
00:21:22,074 --> 00:21:23,242
Would you like to have dinner?

485
00:21:24,368 --> 00:21:25,618
Just friends.

486
00:21:25,619 --> 00:21:26,619
I thought you didn't believe

487
00:21:26,620 --> 00:21:28,162
men and women could be friends.

488
00:21:28,163 --> 00:21:28,996
When did I say that?

489
00:21:28,997 --> 00:21:29,997
On the ride to New York.

490
00:21:29,998 --> 00:21:32,167
No, no, no, no, I never said that.

491
00:21:33,293 --> 00:21:36,380
Yes, that's right, they can't be friends.

492
00:21:37,381 --> 00:21:39,173
Unless both of them are
involved with other people,

493
00:21:39,174 --> 00:21:40,174
then they can.

494
00:21:40,175 --> 00:21:41,676
This is an amendment to the earlier rule,

495
00:21:41,677 --> 00:21:43,511
if the two people are in relationships,

496
00:21:43,512 --> 00:21:46,098
the pressure of possibility
of involvement is lifted.

497
00:21:47,266 --> 00:21:49,350
That doesn't work either
because what happens then

498
00:21:49,351 --> 00:21:51,102
is the person you're involved
with can't understand

499
00:21:51,103 --> 00:21:51,978
why you need to be friends

500
00:21:51,979 --> 00:21:53,437
with the person you're just friends with.

501
00:21:53,438 --> 00:21:55,022
Like it means something is
missing from their relationship

502
00:21:55,023 --> 00:21:57,024
and "Why do you have to
go outside to get it?"

503
00:21:57,025 --> 00:21:58,651
Then when you say, "No,
no, no, no, it's not true.

504
00:21:58,652 --> 00:22:00,111
"Nothing is missing
from the relationship."

505
00:22:00,112 --> 00:22:01,988
The person you're involved
with then accuses you

506
00:22:01,989 --> 00:22:03,864
of being secretly attracted to the person

507
00:22:03,865 --> 00:22:05,700
you're just friends with,
which we probably are.

508
00:22:05,701 --> 00:22:07,076
I mean, come on, who
the hell are we kidding?

509
00:22:07,077 --> 00:22:07,910
Let's face it.

510
00:22:07,911 --> 00:22:09,370
Which brings us back to the earlier rule

511
00:22:09,371 --> 00:22:10,246
before the amendment,

512
00:22:10,247 --> 00:22:11,914
which is men and women can't be friends,

513
00:22:11,915 --> 00:22:13,291
so where does that leave us?

514
00:22:13,292 --> 00:22:14,583
- Harry?
- What?

515
00:22:14,584 --> 00:22:15,377
Goodbye.

516
00:22:16,962 --> 00:22:17,754
Okay.

517
00:22:25,345 --> 00:22:27,848
I'll just stop walking,
I'll let you go ahead.

518
00:22:32,436 --> 00:22:34,854
We were married 40 years ago.

519
00:22:34,855 --> 00:22:37,106
We were married three
years, we got a divorce.

520
00:22:37,107 --> 00:22:38,733
Then I married Marjorie.

521
00:22:38,734 --> 00:22:40,192
But first you lived with Barbara.

522
00:22:40,193 --> 00:22:41,277
Right, Barbara.

523
00:22:41,278 --> 00:22:44,238
But I didn't marry Barbara,
I married Marjorie.

524
00:22:44,239 --> 00:22:45,698
Then he got a divorce.

525
00:22:45,699 --> 00:22:47,658
Right, then I married Katie.

526
00:22:47,659 --> 00:22:49,076
Another divorce.

527
00:22:49,077 --> 00:22:50,286
Then, a couple of years later,

528
00:22:50,287 --> 00:22:51,954
at Eddie Collecio's funeral,

529
00:22:51,955 --> 00:22:53,664
I ran into her.

530
00:22:53,665 --> 00:22:56,209
I was with some girl
I don't even remember.

531
00:22:57,085 --> 00:22:58,044
Roberta.

532
00:22:58,045 --> 00:22:59,962
Right, Roberta.

533
00:22:59,963 --> 00:23:02,381
But I couldn't take my eyes off you.

534
00:23:02,382 --> 00:23:04,968
I remember I snuck over to her and I said.

535
00:23:05,886 --> 00:23:07,470
What did I say?

536
00:23:07,471 --> 00:23:09,180
You said, "What're you doing after?"

537
00:23:09,181 --> 00:23:10,014
Right.

538
00:23:10,015 --> 00:23:12,391
So I ditch Roberta, we go for coffee.

539
00:23:12,392 --> 00:23:13,851
A month later we're married.

540
00:23:13,852 --> 00:23:16,521
35 years, to the day,
after our first marriage.

541
00:23:20,650 --> 00:23:21,484
I went through his pockets, okay?

542
00:23:21,485 --> 00:23:23,778
Marie, why do you go
through his pockets?

543
00:23:23,779 --> 00:23:24,737
You know what I found?

544
00:23:24,738 --> 00:23:25,654
No, what?

545
00:23:25,655 --> 00:23:27,490
They just bought a dinning room table.

546
00:23:27,491 --> 00:23:29,617
He and his wife just went out
and spent 16 hundred dollars

547
00:23:29,618 --> 00:23:30,618
on a dinning room table.

548
00:23:30,619 --> 00:23:31,452
Where?

549
00:23:31,453 --> 00:23:33,621
The point isn't where, Alice.

550
00:23:33,622 --> 00:23:35,873
The point is he's never gonna leave her.

551
00:23:35,874 --> 00:23:38,667
So what else is new, you've
known this for two years.

552
00:23:38,668 --> 00:23:41,128
You're right, you're
right, I know you're right.

553
00:23:41,129 --> 00:23:42,421
Why can't you find someone single?

554
00:23:42,422 --> 00:23:45,257
When I was single I knew
lots of nice single men.

555
00:23:45,258 --> 00:23:46,842
There must be someone.

556
00:23:46,843 --> 00:23:48,427
Sally found someone.

557
00:23:48,428 --> 00:23:50,679
[Marie] Sally got the last good one.

558
00:23:50,680 --> 00:23:51,972
Joe and I broke up.

559
00:23:51,973 --> 00:23:52,807
What?

560
00:23:52,808 --> 00:23:53,641
When?

561
00:23:53,642 --> 00:23:54,475
Monday.

562
00:23:54,476 --> 00:23:55,518
You waited three days to tell us?

563
00:23:55,519 --> 00:23:56,644
Joe's available?

564
00:23:56,645 --> 00:23:57,895
Oh for God sakes, Marie,

565
00:23:57,896 --> 00:23:59,480
don't you have any feelings about this?

566
00:23:59,481 --> 00:24:00,898
She's obviously upset.

567
00:24:00,899 --> 00:24:01,857
I'm not that upset,

568
00:24:01,858 --> 00:24:04,276
we've been growing apart for quite a while

569
00:24:04,277 --> 00:24:05,528
But you guys were a couple,

570
00:24:05,529 --> 00:24:06,737
you had someone to go places with,

571
00:24:06,738 --> 00:24:09,698
you had a date on national holidays.

572
00:24:09,699 --> 00:24:11,826
I said to myself, "You
deserve more than this.

573
00:24:11,827 --> 00:24:13,327
"You're thirty one years old."

574
00:24:13,328 --> 00:24:14,620
And the clock is ticking.

575
00:24:14,621 --> 00:24:16,080
No, the clock doesn't
really start to tick

576
00:24:16,081 --> 00:24:17,790
until you're 36.

577
00:24:17,791 --> 00:24:20,334
God, you're in such great shape.

578
00:24:20,335 --> 00:24:21,919
Well, I've had a few
days to get use to it

579
00:24:21,920 --> 00:24:24,588
and I feel okay.

580
00:24:24,589 --> 00:24:26,133
Good, then you're ready.

581
00:24:28,468 --> 00:24:29,301
Really, Marie.

582
00:24:29,302 --> 00:24:31,595
Well how else do you think you do it?

583
00:24:31,596 --> 00:24:32,972
I've got the perfect guy.

584
00:24:32,973 --> 00:24:35,433
I don't happen to find him
attractive but you might.

585
00:24:35,434 --> 00:24:37,685
She doesn't have a problem with chins.

586
00:24:37,686 --> 00:24:39,478
Marie, I'm not ready yet.

587
00:24:39,479 --> 00:24:41,647
But you just said you were over him.

588
00:24:41,648 --> 00:24:44,651
I am over him but I'm
in a mourning period.

589
00:24:47,654 --> 00:24:48,654
Who is it?

590
00:24:48,655 --> 00:24:50,072
Alex Anderson.

591
00:24:50,073 --> 00:24:51,365
(groaning)

592
00:24:51,366 --> 00:24:54,118
You fixed me up with him six years ago.

593
00:24:54,119 --> 00:24:55,744
- Sorry.
- (laughing)

594
00:24:55,745 --> 00:24:56,829
God.

595
00:24:56,830 --> 00:24:58,038
All right, wait, here.

596
00:24:58,039 --> 00:24:59,331
Here we go.

597
00:24:59,332 --> 00:25:00,875
Ken Darman.

598
00:25:00,876 --> 00:25:03,085
He's been married for over a year.

599
00:25:03,086 --> 00:25:03,879
Really?

600
00:25:05,213 --> 00:25:06,298
Married.

601
00:25:07,591 --> 00:25:08,716
Oh, wait, wait, wait.

602
00:25:08,717 --> 00:25:09,842
- Look.
- I got one.

603
00:25:09,843 --> 00:25:11,552
There is no point in
my going out with someone

604
00:25:11,553 --> 00:25:14,263
I might really like if I
met him at the right time

605
00:25:14,264 --> 00:25:16,807
but who, right now, has no
chance of being anything to me

606
00:25:16,808 --> 00:25:18,267
but a transitional man.

607
00:25:18,268 --> 00:25:20,978
Okay but don't wait too long.

608
00:25:20,979 --> 00:25:23,230
Remember what happened to David Warsaw?

609
00:25:23,231 --> 00:25:24,565
His wife left him and everyone said

610
00:25:24,566 --> 00:25:27,860
give him some time,
don't move in too fast.

611
00:25:27,861 --> 00:25:29,571
Six months later, he was dead.

612
00:25:30,489 --> 00:25:31,363
What are you saying?

613
00:25:31,364 --> 00:25:32,823
I should get married to someone right away

614
00:25:32,824 --> 00:25:34,408
in case he's about to die?

615
00:25:34,409 --> 00:25:36,994
At least you could say you were married.

616
00:25:36,995 --> 00:25:39,038
I'm saying that the right man for you

617
00:25:39,039 --> 00:25:41,499
might be out there right now,
and if you don't grab him

618
00:25:41,500 --> 00:25:43,042
someone else will and you'll have to spend

619
00:25:43,043 --> 00:25:44,960
the rest of your life
knowing that someone else

620
00:25:44,961 --> 00:25:46,713
is married to your husband.

621
00:25:51,510 --> 00:25:53,135
(yelling)

622
00:25:53,136 --> 00:25:56,181
(football commotion)

623
00:25:57,641 --> 00:26:00,352
(crowd cheering)

624
00:26:07,526 --> 00:26:09,527
When did this happen?

625
00:26:09,528 --> 00:26:11,111
Friday.

626
00:26:11,112 --> 00:26:13,280
Helen comes home from work and she says,

627
00:26:13,281 --> 00:26:15,824
"I don't know if I want
to be married anymore."

628
00:26:15,825 --> 00:26:17,117
Like it's the institution.

629
00:26:17,118 --> 00:26:18,327
You know, like it's nothing personal,

630
00:26:18,328 --> 00:26:21,455
just something she's been
thinking about in a casual way.

631
00:26:21,456 --> 00:26:23,207
I'm calm, I say,

632
00:26:23,208 --> 00:26:24,250
"Why don't we take some
time to think about it,

633
00:26:24,251 --> 00:26:26,210
"you know, don't rush into anything."

634
00:26:26,211 --> 00:26:27,211
Yeah, right.

635
00:26:27,212 --> 00:26:29,463
Next day, she said
she's thought about it,

636
00:26:29,464 --> 00:26:31,382
and she wants a trial separation.

637
00:26:31,383 --> 00:26:34,426
She just wants to try it, she
says, but we can still date.

638
00:26:34,427 --> 00:26:36,011
Like this is supposed to cushion the blow.

639
00:26:36,012 --> 00:26:38,264
I mean, I got married
so I can stop dating.

640
00:26:38,265 --> 00:26:40,808
So I don't see where we can
still date is any big incentive,

641
00:26:40,809 --> 00:26:42,977
since the last thing you
want to do is date your wife,

642
00:26:42,978 --> 00:26:44,478
who's suppose to love you,

643
00:26:44,479 --> 00:26:45,896
which is what I'm saying,
when it occurs to me

644
00:26:45,897 --> 00:26:48,399
that may be she doesn't.

645
00:26:48,400 --> 00:26:51,318
So I say to her, "Don't
you love me anymore?"

646
00:26:51,319 --> 00:26:52,611
You know what she says?

647
00:26:52,612 --> 00:26:54,280
"I don't know if I've ever loved you."

648
00:26:54,281 --> 00:26:55,656
Oh, that's harsh.

649
00:26:55,657 --> 00:26:57,491
(crowd cheering)

650
00:26:57,492 --> 00:26:59,034
You don't bounce back
from that right away.

651
00:26:59,035 --> 00:27:00,119
Thanks, Jess.

652
00:27:00,120 --> 00:27:01,787
No, I'm a writer, I know dialogue

653
00:27:01,788 --> 00:27:03,956
and that's particularly harsh.

654
00:27:03,957 --> 00:27:05,749
Then she tells me that
somebody in her office

655
00:27:05,750 --> 00:27:09,044
is going to South America and
she can sub-let his apartment.

656
00:27:09,045 --> 00:27:11,922
I can't believe this,
and the doorbell rings.

657
00:27:11,923 --> 00:27:13,299
"I can sub-let his apartment."

658
00:27:13,300 --> 00:27:14,967
The words are still hanging in the air,

659
00:27:14,968 --> 00:27:16,760
you know, like in a balloon
attached to a mouth.

660
00:27:16,761 --> 00:27:17,678
Like a cartoon.

661
00:27:17,679 --> 00:27:18,470
Right.

662
00:27:18,471 --> 00:27:21,473
So I go to the door and
there were moving men there.

663
00:27:21,474 --> 00:27:23,434
Now I start to get suspicious.

664
00:27:23,435 --> 00:27:25,853
I say, "Helen, when did
you call these movers?"

665
00:27:25,854 --> 00:27:27,438
And she doesn't say anything.

666
00:27:27,439 --> 00:27:28,272
So I asked the movers,

667
00:27:28,273 --> 00:27:30,274
"When did this woman
book you for this gig?"

668
00:27:30,275 --> 00:27:31,275
And they're just standing there.

669
00:27:31,276 --> 00:27:32,943
Three huge guys, one of them was wearing

670
00:27:32,944 --> 00:27:35,571
a t-shirt that says,
"Don't fuck with Mr. Zero."

671
00:27:35,572 --> 00:27:39,366
So I said, "Helen, when did
you make this arrangement?"

672
00:27:39,367 --> 00:27:41,368
She says, "A week ago."

673
00:27:41,369 --> 00:27:44,455
I said, "You've known for a
week and you didn't tell me?"

674
00:27:44,456 --> 00:27:47,374
And she says, "I didn't
want to ruin your birthday."

675
00:27:47,375 --> 00:27:50,085
(crowd cheering)

676
00:27:50,086 --> 00:27:52,630
You're say Mr. Zero knew
you were getting a divorce

677
00:27:52,631 --> 00:27:53,589
a week before you did?

678
00:27:53,590 --> 00:27:54,715
Mr. Zero knew.

679
00:27:54,716 --> 00:27:55,591
I can't believe this.

680
00:27:55,592 --> 00:27:57,468
I haven't told you the bad part yet.

681
00:27:57,469 --> 00:28:00,137
What could be worse
than Mr. Zero knowing?

682
00:28:00,138 --> 00:28:00,930
It's all a lie.

683
00:28:02,807 --> 00:28:04,767
She's in love with somebody else.

684
00:28:04,768 --> 00:28:05,894
Some tax attorney.

685
00:28:06,895 --> 00:28:08,437
She moved in with him.

686
00:28:08,438 --> 00:28:09,564
How did you find out?

687
00:28:11,191 --> 00:28:13,400
I followed her, I stood
outside the building.

688
00:28:13,401 --> 00:28:14,777
So humiliating.

689
00:28:14,778 --> 00:28:16,570
Tell me about it.

690
00:28:16,571 --> 00:28:18,155
And do you know I knew?

691
00:28:18,156 --> 00:28:20,115
I knew the whole time that
even though we were happy

692
00:28:20,116 --> 00:28:21,659
it was just an illusion and that one day

693
00:28:21,660 --> 00:28:23,786
she would kick the shit out of me.

694
00:28:23,787 --> 00:28:26,789
Marriages don't break up
on account of infidelity.

695
00:28:26,790 --> 00:28:29,500
It's just a symptom that
something else is wrong.

696
00:28:29,501 --> 00:28:30,334
Oh really?

697
00:28:30,335 --> 00:28:32,378
Well that symptom is fucking my wife.

698
00:28:32,379 --> 00:28:35,090
(crowd cheering)

699
00:28:36,633 --> 00:28:39,427
So I just happen to see
his American Express bill.

700
00:28:41,137 --> 00:28:43,889
What do you mean you
just "happened" to see it?

701
00:28:43,890 --> 00:28:47,601
Well, he was shaving and
there it was, in his briefcase.

702
00:28:47,602 --> 00:28:48,435
What if he came out

703
00:28:48,436 --> 00:28:50,354
and saw you looking through his briefcase?

704
00:28:50,355 --> 00:28:53,232
You're missing the point,
I'm telling you what I found.

705
00:28:53,233 --> 00:28:55,859
He just spent a hundred and twenty dollars

706
00:28:55,860 --> 00:28:57,696
on a new night gown for his wife.

707
00:28:59,364 --> 00:29:01,949
I don't think he's ever
going to leave her.

708
00:29:01,950 --> 00:29:04,660
No one thinks he's ever gonna leave her.

709
00:29:04,661 --> 00:29:06,705
You're right, you're
right, I know you're right.

710
00:29:10,083 --> 00:29:13,294
(faint city commotion)

711
00:29:22,804 --> 00:29:25,807
Someone is staring at
you in "Personal Growth."

712
00:29:29,185 --> 00:29:30,728
I know him.

713
00:29:30,729 --> 00:29:32,147
You'd like him, he's married.

714
00:29:33,523 --> 00:29:34,898
Who is he?

715
00:29:34,899 --> 00:29:36,985
Harry Burns, he's a
political consultant.

716
00:29:37,902 --> 00:29:39,695
[Marie] He's cute.

717
00:29:39,696 --> 00:29:41,280
[Sally] You think he's cute?

718
00:29:41,281 --> 00:29:43,073
[Marie] How do you know he's married?

719
00:29:43,074 --> 00:29:45,284
'Cause last time I saw
him, he was getting married.

720
00:29:45,285 --> 00:29:46,077
When was that?

721
00:29:46,953 --> 00:29:48,537
Six years ago.

722
00:29:48,538 --> 00:29:50,582
So he might not be married anymore.

723
00:29:51,791 --> 00:29:53,876
Also, he's obnoxious.

724
00:29:53,877 --> 00:29:55,335
This is just like in
the movies, remember?

725
00:29:55,336 --> 00:29:56,962
In "The Lady Vanishes,"
when she says to him,

726
00:29:56,963 --> 00:29:58,046
"You're the most obnoxious
man I ever met--"

727
00:29:58,047 --> 00:29:59,548
"The most contemptible."

728
00:29:59,549 --> 00:30:01,383
Then they fall madly in love.

729
00:30:01,384 --> 00:30:02,968
Also, he never remembers me.

730
00:30:02,969 --> 00:30:04,179
[Harry] Sally Albright.

731
00:30:06,765 --> 00:30:07,890
Hi, Harry.

732
00:30:07,891 --> 00:30:08,932
I thought it was you.

733
00:30:08,933 --> 00:30:10,559
It is.

734
00:30:10,560 --> 00:30:11,352
This is Marie.

735
00:30:13,438 --> 00:30:14,230
Was Marie.

736
00:30:15,440 --> 00:30:16,315
How are you?

737
00:30:16,316 --> 00:30:17,274
Fine.

738
00:30:17,275 --> 00:30:18,650
How's Joe?

739
00:30:18,651 --> 00:30:20,277
Fine.

740
00:30:20,278 --> 00:30:21,237
I hear he's fine.

741
00:30:22,280 --> 00:30:23,740
You're not with Joe anymore?

742
00:30:24,616 --> 00:30:26,116
We just broke up.

743
00:30:26,117 --> 00:30:27,534
Aw.

744
00:30:27,535 --> 00:30:28,828
I'm sorry, that's too bad.

745
00:30:30,413 --> 00:30:31,580
Yeah.

746
00:30:31,581 --> 00:30:32,456
Well, you know.

747
00:30:32,457 --> 00:30:33,290
(chuckling)

748
00:30:33,291 --> 00:30:34,583
Yeah.

749
00:30:34,584 --> 00:30:35,376
So,

750
00:30:36,836 --> 00:30:37,836
what about you?

751
00:30:37,837 --> 00:30:38,962
I'm fine.

752
00:30:38,963 --> 00:30:39,964
How's married life?

753
00:30:42,050 --> 00:30:43,592
Not so good.

754
00:30:43,593 --> 00:30:45,302
I'm getting a divorce.

755
00:30:45,303 --> 00:30:46,554
Oh, I'm sorry.

756
00:30:47,555 --> 00:30:48,598
I'm really sorry.

757
00:30:49,766 --> 00:30:51,476
Yeah, well, what're you gonna do?

758
00:30:52,811 --> 00:30:54,770
What happened with you guys?

759
00:30:54,771 --> 00:30:56,313
When Joe and I started
seeing each other,

760
00:30:56,314 --> 00:30:57,941
we wanted exactly the same thing.

761
00:30:58,858 --> 00:31:01,193
We wanted to live together but
we didn't want to get married

762
00:31:01,194 --> 00:31:03,320
because every time anyone
we knew got married

763
00:31:03,321 --> 00:31:04,696
it ruined their relationship,

764
00:31:04,697 --> 00:31:06,491
they practically never had sex again.

765
00:31:07,408 --> 00:31:08,659
It's true.

766
00:31:08,660 --> 00:31:11,328
It's one of those secrets
that no one ever tells you.

767
00:31:11,329 --> 00:31:14,248
I would sit around with my
girlfriends who have kids.

768
00:31:14,249 --> 00:31:17,000
Actually, my one girlfriend
who has kids, Alice,

769
00:31:17,001 --> 00:31:18,877
and she would complain
about how she and Garry

770
00:31:18,878 --> 00:31:19,921
never did it anymore.

771
00:31:21,339 --> 00:31:22,589
She didn't even complain about it,

772
00:31:22,590 --> 00:31:23,423
now that I think about it.

773
00:31:23,424 --> 00:31:24,758
She just said it matter-of-factly.

774
00:31:24,759 --> 00:31:26,635
She said, "They were up all night,

775
00:31:26,636 --> 00:31:28,262
"they were both exhausted all the time,

776
00:31:28,263 --> 00:31:30,305
"the kids just took every sexual impulse

777
00:31:30,306 --> 00:31:31,391
"they had out of them."

778
00:31:33,935 --> 00:31:35,644
Joe and I use to talk
about it and we'd say,

779
00:31:35,645 --> 00:31:38,605
"We are so lucky we have
this wonderful relationship,

780
00:31:38,606 --> 00:31:40,649
"we can have sex on the kitchen floor

781
00:31:40,650 --> 00:31:43,110
"and not worry about the kids walking in.

782
00:31:43,111 --> 00:31:45,613
"We can fly off to Rome
on a moment's notice."

783
00:31:48,074 --> 00:31:49,199
And then, one day,

784
00:31:49,200 --> 00:31:51,326
I was taking to Alice's
little girl for the afternoon

785
00:31:51,327 --> 00:31:53,328
because I promised I'd
take her to the circus,

786
00:31:53,329 --> 00:31:56,707
and we were in the cab playing eye-spy.

787
00:31:56,708 --> 00:31:59,085
Eye-spy mailbox, eye-spy lamppost.

788
00:32:00,545 --> 00:32:02,504
And she looked out the window and she saw

789
00:32:02,505 --> 00:32:05,132
this man and this woman
with these two little kids

790
00:32:05,133 --> 00:32:08,594
and the man had one of the
little kids on his shoulders

791
00:32:08,595 --> 00:32:11,514
and she said, "I spy a family."

792
00:32:12,932 --> 00:32:14,475
And I started to cry.

793
00:32:15,560 --> 00:32:17,061
You know I just started crying.

794
00:32:19,022 --> 00:32:20,898
And I went home and I said,

795
00:32:20,899 --> 00:32:21,773
"The thing is Joe,

796
00:32:21,774 --> 00:32:25,319
"we never do fly off to
Rome on a moment's notice."

797
00:32:25,320 --> 00:32:26,487
And the kitchen floor?

798
00:32:27,614 --> 00:32:28,780
Not once.

799
00:32:28,781 --> 00:32:32,576
It's this very cold, hard
Mexican ceramic tile.

800
00:32:32,577 --> 00:32:33,369
Hmmm.

801
00:32:34,662 --> 00:32:36,246
Anyway,

802
00:32:36,247 --> 00:32:38,582
we talked about it for
a long time and I said,

803
00:32:38,583 --> 00:32:39,541
"This is what I want."

804
00:32:39,542 --> 00:32:41,877
And he says, "Well I don't."

805
00:32:41,878 --> 00:32:44,505
And I said, "Well I guess
it's over" and he left.

806
00:32:48,092 --> 00:32:51,262
And the thing is I feel really fine.

807
00:32:52,180 --> 00:32:54,599
I am over him, I mean,
I really am over him.

808
00:32:55,475 --> 00:32:56,433
And that was it for him.

809
00:32:56,434 --> 00:32:58,769
That was the most that he could give.

810
00:32:58,770 --> 00:33:01,563
And every time I think about
it I am more and more convinced

811
00:33:01,564 --> 00:33:02,857
that I did the right thing.

812
00:33:03,983 --> 00:33:05,568
Boy, you sound really healthy.

813
00:33:06,569 --> 00:33:07,362
Yeah.

814
00:33:08,613 --> 00:33:10,113
At least I got the apartment.

815
00:33:10,114 --> 00:33:11,990
That's what everybody says to me too.

816
00:33:11,991 --> 00:33:14,534
But really, what's so hard
about finding an apartment?

817
00:33:14,535 --> 00:33:17,079
What you do is you read
the obituary column.

818
00:33:17,080 --> 00:33:18,872
Yeah, you find out who
died, go to the building

819
00:33:18,873 --> 00:33:20,707
and then you tip the doorman.

820
00:33:20,708 --> 00:33:21,917
What they could do to make it easier

821
00:33:21,918 --> 00:33:24,586
is to combine the obituaries
with the real estate section.

822
00:33:24,587 --> 00:33:26,421
Then you'd have "Mr. Klein died today,

823
00:33:26,422 --> 00:33:28,173
"leaving a wife, two children,

824
00:33:28,174 --> 00:33:29,716
"and a spacious three bedroom apartment

825
00:33:29,717 --> 00:33:31,176
"with a wood burning fireplace."

826
00:33:31,177 --> 00:33:33,011
(laughing)

827
00:33:33,012 --> 00:33:35,764
(somber piano music)

828
00:33:35,765 --> 00:33:36,807
You know, the first time we met,

829
00:33:36,808 --> 00:33:38,809
I really didn't like you that much.

830
00:33:38,810 --> 00:33:39,768
I didn't like you.

831
00:33:39,769 --> 00:33:40,644
Yeah you did.

832
00:33:40,645 --> 00:33:41,478
You were just so uptight then.

833
00:33:41,479 --> 00:33:42,647
You're much softer now.

834
00:33:44,315 --> 00:33:45,857
You know, I hate that kind of remark.

835
00:33:45,858 --> 00:33:48,485
It sounds like a compliment
but really, it's an insult.

836
00:33:48,486 --> 00:33:50,779
Okay, you're still as hard as nails.

837
00:33:50,780 --> 00:33:52,114
I just didn't want to sleep with you

838
00:33:52,115 --> 00:33:54,282
and you had to write it
off as a character flaw

839
00:33:54,283 --> 00:33:55,826
instead of dealing with the possibility

840
00:33:55,827 --> 00:33:57,870
that it might have
something to do with you.

841
00:33:59,956 --> 00:34:02,333
What's the statute of
limitation on apologies?

842
00:34:04,627 --> 00:34:05,460
Ten years.

843
00:34:05,461 --> 00:34:07,422
Oh, I can just get it in under the wire.

844
00:34:08,381 --> 00:34:11,592
(pleasant piano music)

845
00:34:13,219 --> 00:34:16,346
Would you like to have
dinner with me sometime?

846
00:34:16,347 --> 00:34:17,807
Are we becoming friends now?

847
00:34:20,226 --> 00:34:21,019
Well,

848
00:34:23,187 --> 00:34:23,980
yeah.

849
00:34:26,107 --> 00:34:27,566
Great.

850
00:34:27,567 --> 00:34:29,985
A woman friend.

851
00:34:29,986 --> 00:34:31,695
You know, you may be the
first attractive woman

852
00:34:31,696 --> 00:34:34,157
I have not wanted to sleep
with in my entire life.

853
00:34:35,074 --> 00:34:36,743
[Sally] That's wonderful, Harry.

854
00:34:38,828 --> 00:34:40,787
We were both born in the same hospital.

855
00:34:40,788 --> 00:34:42,080
In 1921.

856
00:34:42,081 --> 00:34:44,708
- Seven days apart.
- In the same hospital.

857
00:34:44,709 --> 00:34:45,959
We both grew up one block

858
00:34:45,960 --> 00:34:47,753
away from each other.
- We both lived in tenements.

859
00:34:47,754 --> 00:34:49,087
On the lower East Side.

860
00:34:49,088 --> 00:34:50,839
On Delancey Street.

861
00:34:50,840 --> 00:34:52,466
My family moved to the Bronx

862
00:34:52,467 --> 00:34:54,051
when I was ten.
- He lived on Fordham Road.

863
00:34:54,052 --> 00:34:55,552
Hers moved when she was eleven.

864
00:34:55,553 --> 00:34:57,220
I lived on a hundred
and eighty third Street.

865
00:34:57,221 --> 00:34:59,639
For six years she
worked on the 15 floor--

866
00:34:59,640 --> 00:35:01,183
I worked for a very
prominent neurologist.

867
00:35:01,184 --> 00:35:04,936
As a nurse where I had
a practice on the 14 floor

868
00:35:04,937 --> 00:35:06,313
of the very same building.

869
00:35:06,314 --> 00:35:07,439
We never met.

870
00:35:07,440 --> 00:35:08,273
Never met.

871
00:35:08,274 --> 00:35:09,941
Can you imagine that?

872
00:35:09,942 --> 00:35:11,443
You know where we met?

873
00:35:11,444 --> 00:35:12,277
In an elevator.

874
00:35:12,278 --> 00:35:13,528
I was visiting family.

875
00:35:13,529 --> 00:35:15,489
In the ambassador hotel
in Chicago, Illinois.

876
00:35:15,490 --> 00:35:17,824
He was on the third
floor, I was on the 12th.

877
00:35:17,825 --> 00:35:21,661
I rode up nine extra floors
just to keep talking to her.

878
00:35:21,662 --> 00:35:22,830
Nine extra floors.

879
00:35:26,375 --> 00:35:29,878
(somber piano music)

880
00:35:29,879 --> 00:35:32,507
(phone ringing)

881
00:35:34,425 --> 00:35:35,675
[Sally Voiceover] Hello?

882
00:35:35,676 --> 00:35:37,094
[Harry Voiceover] You sleeping?

883
00:35:37,095 --> 00:35:38,804
[Sally Voiceover] No, I
was watching "Casablanca."

884
00:35:38,805 --> 00:35:39,930
[Harry Voiceover] Channel, please.

885
00:35:39,931 --> 00:35:40,764
[Sally Voiceover] 11.

886
00:35:40,765 --> 00:35:41,807
[Harry Voiceover] Thank you.

887
00:35:41,808 --> 00:35:42,849
Got it.

888
00:35:42,850 --> 00:35:45,393
Now you're telling me you will
be happier with Victor Laszlo

889
00:35:45,394 --> 00:35:46,978
than with Humphrey Bogart?

890
00:35:46,979 --> 00:35:48,146
[Sally Voiceover] When did I say that?

891
00:35:48,147 --> 00:35:50,232
[Harry Voiceover] When
we drove to New York.

892
00:35:50,233 --> 00:35:51,233
[Sally Voiceover] I never said that.

893
00:35:51,234 --> 00:35:52,442
I would have never have said that.

894
00:35:52,443 --> 00:35:54,320
[Harry Voiceover] All
right, fine, have it your way.

895
00:35:56,614 --> 00:35:57,948
Have you been sleeping?

896
00:35:57,949 --> 00:35:58,782
[Sally Voiceover] Why?

897
00:35:58,783 --> 00:36:01,034
[Harry Voiceover] Because
I haven't been sleeping.

898
00:36:01,035 --> 00:36:02,120
I really miss Helen.

899
00:36:04,122 --> 00:36:05,831
Maybe I'm coming down with something.

900
00:36:05,832 --> 00:36:07,290
Last night I was up at four in the morning

901
00:36:07,291 --> 00:36:09,584
watching "Leave it to Beaver" in Spanish.

902
00:36:09,585 --> 00:36:13,630
(Harry speaking Spanish)

903
00:36:13,631 --> 00:36:14,923
I'm not well.

904
00:36:14,924 --> 00:36:17,008
[Sally Voiceover] Well I
went to bed at 7:30 last night.

905
00:36:17,009 --> 00:36:18,844
I haven't don't that
since the third grade.

906
00:36:18,845 --> 00:36:19,719
[Harry Voiceover] Well
that's the good thing

907
00:36:19,720 --> 00:36:22,222
about depression, you get your rest.

908
00:36:22,223 --> 00:36:23,598
[Sally Voiceover] I'm not depressed.

909
00:36:23,599 --> 00:36:25,642
[Harry Voiceover] Okay, fine.

910
00:36:25,643 --> 00:36:28,228
Do you still sleep on
the same side of the bed?

911
00:36:28,229 --> 00:36:29,062
[Sally Voiceover] I did for awhile

912
00:36:29,063 --> 00:36:31,189
but now I'm pretty much
using the whole bed.

913
00:36:31,190 --> 00:36:32,941
[Harry Voiceover] God, that's great.

914
00:36:32,942 --> 00:36:35,153
I feel weird when just
my leg wanders over.

915
00:36:36,863 --> 00:36:37,655
I miss her.

916
00:36:39,073 --> 00:36:40,949
[Sally Voiceover] I don't
miss him, I really don't.

917
00:36:40,950 --> 00:36:42,742
[Harry Voiceover] Not even a little?

918
00:36:42,743 --> 00:36:44,995
[Sally Voiceover] You know what I miss?

919
00:36:44,996 --> 00:36:46,873
I miss the idea of him.

920
00:36:48,916 --> 00:36:52,210
[Harry Voiceover] Maybe I
only miss the idea of Helen.

921
00:36:52,211 --> 00:36:53,713
No, I miss the whole Helen.

922
00:36:58,050 --> 00:37:00,051
[Sally Voiceover] Last scene.

923
00:37:00,052 --> 00:37:03,264
(television commotion)

924
00:37:06,642 --> 00:37:08,143
[Harry] Oh, Ingrid Bergman,

925
00:37:08,144 --> 00:37:09,853
now she's low maintenance.

926
00:37:09,854 --> 00:37:11,021
[Sally] Low maintenance?

927
00:37:11,022 --> 00:37:12,480
[Harry] There are two kinds of women.

928
00:37:12,481 --> 00:37:14,691
High maintenance and low maintenance.

929
00:37:14,692 --> 00:37:17,027
And Ingrid Bergman is low maintenance?

930
00:37:17,028 --> 00:37:19,029
An LM, definitely.

931
00:37:19,030 --> 00:37:20,322
Which one am I?

932
00:37:20,323 --> 00:37:21,156
You're the worst kind.

933
00:37:21,157 --> 00:37:21,990
You're high maintenance

934
00:37:21,991 --> 00:37:24,117
but you think you're low maintenance.

935
00:37:24,118 --> 00:37:24,951
I don't see that.

936
00:37:24,952 --> 00:37:26,369
You don't see that?

937
00:37:26,370 --> 00:37:27,996
"Waiter, I'll begin with a house salad,

938
00:37:27,997 --> 00:37:29,456
"but I don't want the regular dressing.

939
00:37:29,457 --> 00:37:31,208
"I'll have the balsamic vinegar and oil,

940
00:37:31,209 --> 00:37:32,042
"but on the side.

941
00:37:32,043 --> 00:37:33,543
"And then the salmon
with the mustard sauce,

942
00:37:33,544 --> 00:37:35,712
"but I want the mustard
sauce on the side."

943
00:37:35,713 --> 00:37:37,756
"On the side" is a very big thing for you.

944
00:37:37,757 --> 00:37:39,758
Well I just want it the way I want it.

945
00:37:39,759 --> 00:37:41,052
I know, high maintenance.

946
00:37:41,969 --> 00:37:45,055
About 10 thousand Francs
should pay our expenses.

947
00:37:45,056 --> 00:37:46,431
[Rick] Our expenses?

948
00:37:46,432 --> 00:37:47,307
[Louie] Mhmm.

949
00:37:47,308 --> 00:37:49,768
[Rick] Louie, I think
this is the beginning

950
00:37:49,769 --> 00:37:51,145
of a beautiful friendship.

951
00:37:52,897 --> 00:37:55,066
[Harry] Best last line of a movie ever.

952
00:37:56,692 --> 00:37:57,485
Hmmmm.

953
00:37:59,362 --> 00:38:01,446
I'm definitely coming
down with something.

954
00:38:01,447 --> 00:38:03,949
Probably a twenty four hour
tumor, they're going around.

955
00:38:03,950 --> 00:38:05,075
You don't have a tumor.

956
00:38:05,076 --> 00:38:05,909
How do you know?

957
00:38:05,910 --> 00:38:08,411
If you're so worried, go see a doctor.

958
00:38:08,412 --> 00:38:10,373
No, they'll just tell me it's nothing.

959
00:38:11,290 --> 00:38:12,582
Will you be able to sleep?

960
00:38:12,583 --> 00:38:13,541
If not, I'll be okay.

961
00:38:13,542 --> 00:38:15,543
What'll you do?

962
00:38:15,544 --> 00:38:17,337
I'll stay up and moan.

963
00:38:17,338 --> 00:38:19,464
Maybe I should practice now.

964
00:38:19,465 --> 00:38:21,592
(moaning)

965
00:38:25,596 --> 00:38:27,180
Goodnight, Harry.

966
00:38:27,181 --> 00:38:28,306
(moaning)

967
00:38:28,307 --> 00:38:29,100
Goodnight.

968
00:38:31,102 --> 00:38:34,813
(television commotion)

969
00:38:34,814 --> 00:38:37,525
(Harry groaning)

970
00:39:04,802 --> 00:39:06,052
(pleasant music)

971
00:39:06,053 --> 00:39:07,387
I had my dream again,

972
00:39:07,388 --> 00:39:10,265
where I'm making love and the
Olympic judges are watching.

973
00:39:10,266 --> 00:39:13,018
I've nailed the compulsories
so this is it, the finals.

974
00:39:13,019 --> 00:39:14,352
I got a nine eight from the Canadian,

975
00:39:14,353 --> 00:39:16,771
a perfect ten from the American,

976
00:39:16,772 --> 00:39:18,815
and my mother, disguised
as a East German judge,

977
00:39:18,816 --> 00:39:20,442
gave me a five six.

978
00:39:20,443 --> 00:39:21,694
Must've been the dismount.

979
00:39:23,154 --> 00:39:24,237
[Sally] Well basically it's the same one

980
00:39:24,238 --> 00:39:26,239
I've been having since I was 12.

981
00:39:26,240 --> 00:39:27,073
What happens?

982
00:39:27,074 --> 00:39:29,117
It's too embarrassing.

983
00:39:29,118 --> 00:39:30,285
Don't tell me.

984
00:39:30,286 --> 00:39:31,786
Okay, there's this guy.

985
00:39:31,787 --> 00:39:33,288
What's he look like?

986
00:39:33,289 --> 00:39:34,914
I don't know, he's just kinda faceless.

987
00:39:34,915 --> 00:39:36,959
A faceless guy, okay, then what?

988
00:39:38,794 --> 00:39:41,004
He rips off my clothes.

989
00:39:41,005 --> 00:39:43,048
Then what happens?

990
00:39:43,049 --> 00:39:44,008
That's it.

991
00:39:45,801 --> 00:39:47,260
That's it?

992
00:39:47,261 --> 00:39:48,887
A faceless guy rips off your clothes

993
00:39:48,888 --> 00:39:50,430
and that's the sex
fantasies you've been having

994
00:39:50,431 --> 00:39:51,848
since you were 12.

995
00:39:51,849 --> 00:39:53,391
Exactly the same.

996
00:39:53,392 --> 00:39:56,102
Well sometimes I vary it a little.

997
00:39:56,103 --> 00:39:57,020
Which part?

998
00:39:57,021 --> 00:39:57,938
What I'm wearing.

999
00:39:58,939 --> 00:40:01,650
(pleasant music)

1000
00:40:03,778 --> 00:40:04,903
What?

1001
00:40:04,904 --> 00:40:05,696
Nothing.

1002
00:40:08,115 --> 00:40:11,534
I have decided that
for the rest of the day

1003
00:40:11,535 --> 00:40:14,537
we are going to talk like this.

1004
00:40:14,538 --> 00:40:15,372
[Sally] Like this?

1005
00:40:15,373 --> 00:40:18,083
[Harry] No. Please, to repeat after me.

1006
00:40:18,084 --> 00:40:18,917
Pepper.

1007
00:40:18,918 --> 00:40:19,751
[Sally] Pepper.

1008
00:40:19,752 --> 00:40:20,585
[Harry] Pepper.

1009
00:40:20,586 --> 00:40:22,253
- Pepper.
- Pepper.

1010
00:40:22,254 --> 00:40:26,341
Waiter, there is too much
pepper on my paprikash.

1011
00:40:26,342 --> 00:40:27,175
(laughing)

1012
00:40:27,176 --> 00:40:28,927
"Waiter, there is too much pepper."

1013
00:40:28,928 --> 00:40:29,969
On my paprikash.

1014
00:40:29,970 --> 00:40:30,887
"On my paprikash."

1015
00:40:30,888 --> 00:40:34,808
But I would be proud to
partake of your pecan pie.

1016
00:40:34,809 --> 00:40:35,642
(laughing)

1017
00:40:35,643 --> 00:40:36,643
Oh no.

1018
00:40:36,644 --> 00:40:37,477
But I would be proud.

1019
00:40:37,478 --> 00:40:38,812
"But I would be proud."

1020
00:40:38,813 --> 00:40:39,896
- To partake.
- "To partake"

1021
00:40:39,897 --> 00:40:41,981
Of your pecan pie.

1022
00:40:41,982 --> 00:40:44,234
- "Of your pecan pie."
- Pecan pie.

1023
00:40:44,235 --> 00:40:46,277
- "Pecan pie."
- Pecan pie.

1024
00:40:46,278 --> 00:40:47,737
"Pecan pie."

1025
00:40:47,738 --> 00:40:48,780
(laughing)

1026
00:40:48,781 --> 00:40:51,032
Would you like to go to
the movies with me tonight?

1027
00:40:51,033 --> 00:40:52,659
"Would you like to go, what?"

1028
00:40:52,660 --> 00:40:53,493
Not to repeat.

1029
00:40:53,494 --> 00:40:54,911
Please, to answer.

1030
00:40:54,912 --> 00:40:58,540
Would you like to go to
the movies with me tonight?

1031
00:40:58,541 --> 00:41:00,750
Oh, oh.

1032
00:41:00,751 --> 00:41:02,836
Oh, I'd love to Harry but I can't.

1033
00:41:02,837 --> 00:41:06,047
What do you have, a hot date?

1034
00:41:06,048 --> 00:41:07,966
Well, yeah, yeah.

1035
00:41:07,967 --> 00:41:08,800
Really?

1036
00:41:08,801 --> 00:41:09,592
Yeah.

1037
00:41:09,593 --> 00:41:11,886
I was gonna tell you
about it but I don't know,

1038
00:41:11,887 --> 00:41:13,012
I felt strange about it.

1039
00:41:13,013 --> 00:41:13,847
Why?

1040
00:41:13,848 --> 00:41:15,140
Well because we've been
spending so much time together.

1041
00:41:15,141 --> 00:41:18,309
Oh, I think it's great
that you have a date.

1042
00:41:18,310 --> 00:41:19,144
You do?

1043
00:41:19,145 --> 00:41:19,937
Yeah.

1044
00:41:27,111 --> 00:41:28,528
Is that what you're gonna wear?

1045
00:41:28,529 --> 00:41:29,946
Yeah.

1046
00:41:29,947 --> 00:41:32,115
Well, I don't know.

1047
00:41:32,116 --> 00:41:33,616
Why?

1048
00:41:33,617 --> 00:41:35,326
I think you should wear skirts more.

1049
00:41:35,327 --> 00:41:37,370
You look really good in skirts.

1050
00:41:37,371 --> 00:41:38,205
- I do?
- Yeah.

1051
00:41:41,625 --> 00:41:43,042
You know, I have a
theory that Hieroglyphics

1052
00:41:43,043 --> 00:41:44,502
are really an ancient comic strip

1053
00:41:44,503 --> 00:41:46,713
about a character named Sphinxie.

1054
00:41:46,714 --> 00:41:48,798
You know, Harry, I think
you should get out there too.

1055
00:41:48,799 --> 00:41:50,383
Oh, I'm not ready.

1056
00:41:50,384 --> 00:41:51,718
You should.

1057
00:41:51,719 --> 00:41:54,095
I would not be good
for anybody right now.

1058
00:41:54,096 --> 00:41:54,889
It's time.

1059
00:41:56,182 --> 00:41:59,434
It was the most
uncomfortable night of my life.

1060
00:41:59,435 --> 00:42:01,061
See, no, it has to go this way.

1061
00:42:02,688 --> 00:42:05,648
The first date back is
always the toughest, Harry.

1062
00:42:05,649 --> 00:42:06,901
You only had one date.

1063
00:42:07,818 --> 00:42:10,028
How do you know it's not gonna get worse?

1064
00:42:10,029 --> 00:42:12,238
How much worse can it
get than finishing dinner,

1065
00:42:12,239 --> 00:42:14,491
having him reaching over,
pull a hair out of my head

1066
00:42:14,492 --> 00:42:16,910
and starts flossing with it at the table?

1067
00:42:16,911 --> 00:42:19,871
We're talking dream date
compared to my horror.

1068
00:42:19,872 --> 00:42:21,706
It started out fine.

1069
00:42:21,707 --> 00:42:23,625
She's a very nice person.

1070
00:42:23,626 --> 00:42:24,751
And we're sitting and we're talking

1071
00:42:24,752 --> 00:42:27,086
in this Ethiopian restaurant
that she wanted to go to.

1072
00:42:27,087 --> 00:42:28,796
And I was making jokes, you know like,

1073
00:42:28,797 --> 00:42:30,882
"Hey, I didn't know that
they had food in Ethiopia?

1074
00:42:30,883 --> 00:42:32,008
"This will be a quick meal.

1075
00:42:32,009 --> 00:42:34,093
"I'll order two empty
plates and we can leave."

1076
00:42:34,094 --> 00:42:34,928
(laughing)

1077
00:42:34,929 --> 00:42:37,263
Yeah, nothing from
her, not even a smile.

1078
00:42:37,264 --> 00:42:39,349
So I down shift into small talk,

1079
00:42:39,350 --> 00:42:40,433
and I asked her where she went to school

1080
00:42:40,434 --> 00:42:42,268
and she says Michigan State.

1081
00:42:42,269 --> 00:42:44,187
And this reminds me of Helen.

1082
00:42:44,188 --> 00:42:46,439
All of a sudden, I'm in
the middle of this mess

1083
00:42:46,440 --> 00:42:48,816
of an anxiety attack, my
heart's beating like a wild man

1084
00:42:48,817 --> 00:42:50,610
and I start sweating like a pig.

1085
00:42:50,611 --> 00:42:51,819
Helen went to Michigan State?

1086
00:42:51,820 --> 00:42:53,530
No, she went to Northwestern.

1087
00:42:53,531 --> 00:42:55,074
But they're both Big 10 schools.

1088
00:42:56,033 --> 00:42:58,743
I got so upset, I had
to leave the restaurant.

1089
00:42:58,744 --> 00:43:01,204
(Sally sighing)

1090
00:43:01,205 --> 00:43:03,665
Harry, I think this takes a long time.

1091
00:43:03,666 --> 00:43:06,000
It might be months before
we're actually able to enjoy

1092
00:43:06,001 --> 00:43:08,044
going out with someone new.

1093
00:43:08,045 --> 00:43:08,962
Yeah.

1094
00:43:08,963 --> 00:43:10,046
And maybe longer

1095
00:43:10,047 --> 00:43:12,507
before we're actually able to
go to bed with someone new.

1096
00:43:12,508 --> 00:43:16,427
Oh, I went to bed with her.

1097
00:43:16,428 --> 00:43:17,554
You went to bed with her?

1098
00:43:17,555 --> 00:43:18,347
Sure.

1099
00:43:20,099 --> 00:43:21,224
Huh.

1100
00:43:21,225 --> 00:43:24,186
(machinery buzzing)

1101
00:43:25,229 --> 00:43:27,021
[Jess] I don't understand
this relationship.

1102
00:43:27,022 --> 00:43:28,189
What do you mean?

1103
00:43:28,190 --> 00:43:29,107
You enjoy being with her?

1104
00:43:29,108 --> 00:43:29,983
Yeah.

1105
00:43:29,984 --> 00:43:31,109
You find her attractive?

1106
00:43:31,110 --> 00:43:32,151
Yeah.

1107
00:43:32,152 --> 00:43:33,111
And you're not sleeping with her.

1108
00:43:33,112 --> 00:43:34,279
No.

1109
00:43:34,280 --> 00:43:36,906
You're afraid to let yourself be happy.

1110
00:43:36,907 --> 00:43:38,658
Why can't you give me credit for this?

1111
00:43:38,659 --> 00:43:40,410
This is a big thing for me.

1112
00:43:40,411 --> 00:43:41,995
I never had a relationship with a woman

1113
00:43:41,996 --> 00:43:43,079
that didn't involve sex.

1114
00:43:43,080 --> 00:43:44,122
I feel like I'm growing.

1115
00:43:44,123 --> 00:43:46,165
[Kid] Are you finished?

1116
00:43:46,166 --> 00:43:47,917
Hey, I got a whole stack of
quarters and I was here first.

1117
00:43:47,918 --> 00:43:50,379
- Were not!
- Was too!

1118
00:43:51,297 --> 00:43:52,505
Big jerk.

1119
00:43:52,506 --> 00:43:53,965
Little creep.

1120
00:43:53,966 --> 00:43:54,799
Where was I?

1121
00:43:54,800 --> 00:43:56,092
You were growing.

1122
00:43:56,093 --> 00:43:57,719
Yeah.

1123
00:43:57,720 --> 00:43:59,429
It's very freeing.

1124
00:43:59,430 --> 00:44:00,681
I can say anything to her.

1125
00:44:01,599 --> 00:44:03,057
Are you saying you can say things to her

1126
00:44:03,058 --> 00:44:04,018
you can't say to me?

1127
00:44:04,935 --> 00:44:06,227
No, it's just different.

1128
00:44:06,228 --> 00:44:07,854
It's a whole different perspective.

1129
00:44:07,855 --> 00:44:09,981
I get the women's point of view on things.

1130
00:44:09,982 --> 00:44:11,858
She tells me about the
men that she goes out with

1131
00:44:11,859 --> 00:44:13,901
and I can talk to her
about the women that I see.

1132
00:44:13,902 --> 00:44:15,111
You tell her about other women.

1133
00:44:15,112 --> 00:44:16,154
Yeah.

1134
00:44:16,155 --> 00:44:16,988
Like the other night.

1135
00:44:16,989 --> 00:44:19,949
I made love to this woman,
and it was so incredible,

1136
00:44:19,950 --> 00:44:21,659
I took her to a place that wasn't human,

1137
00:44:21,660 --> 00:44:22,786
she actually meowed.

1138
00:44:23,787 --> 00:44:25,121
You made a woman meow?

1139
00:44:25,122 --> 00:44:26,456
Yeah, that's the point.

1140
00:44:26,457 --> 00:44:28,458
I can say these things to her.

1141
00:44:28,459 --> 00:44:30,418
And the great thing
is, I don't have to lie

1142
00:44:30,419 --> 00:44:31,628
because I'm not always thinking about

1143
00:44:31,629 --> 00:44:32,920
how to get her into bed.

1144
00:44:32,921 --> 00:44:35,048
I can just be myself.

1145
00:44:35,049 --> 00:44:36,342
You made a woman meow?

1146
00:44:38,469 --> 00:44:39,385
[Sally] So what do
you do with these women?

1147
00:44:39,386 --> 00:44:41,346
You just get up out of bed and leave?

1148
00:44:41,347 --> 00:44:42,388
[Harry] Sure.

1149
00:44:42,389 --> 00:44:43,806
Well explain to me how you do it.

1150
00:44:43,807 --> 00:44:44,849
What do you say?

1151
00:44:44,850 --> 00:44:46,559
Just say I have an early
meeting, early haircut,

1152
00:44:46,560 --> 00:44:47,518
early squash game.

1153
00:44:47,519 --> 00:44:48,603
You don't play squash.

1154
00:44:48,604 --> 00:44:50,314
They don't know that, they just met me.

1155
00:44:52,066 --> 00:44:52,899
That's disgusting.

1156
00:44:52,900 --> 00:44:53,942
I know, I feel terrible.

1157
00:44:54,943 --> 00:44:57,487
You know, I'm so glad I
never got involved with you.

1158
00:44:57,488 --> 00:44:59,072
I just would've ended being some woman

1159
00:44:59,073 --> 00:45:00,323
you had to get up out of bed and leave

1160
00:45:00,324 --> 00:45:03,076
at three o'clock in the morning
and go clean your andirons

1161
00:45:03,077 --> 00:45:04,786
and you don't even have a fireplace,

1162
00:45:04,787 --> 00:45:06,371
not that I would know this.

1163
00:45:06,372 --> 00:45:07,538
Why are you getting so upset?

1164
00:45:07,539 --> 00:45:08,790
This is not about you.

1165
00:45:08,791 --> 00:45:09,916
Yes it is.

1166
00:45:09,917 --> 00:45:13,127
You are a human affront to
all women and I am a woman.

1167
00:45:13,128 --> 00:45:13,961
Hey, I don't feel great about this

1168
00:45:13,962 --> 00:45:16,214
but I don't hear anyone complaining.

1169
00:45:16,215 --> 00:45:19,008
Of course not, you're
out the door too fast.

1170
00:45:19,009 --> 00:45:21,344
I think they have an okay time.

1171
00:45:21,345 --> 00:45:23,179
How do you know?

1172
00:45:23,180 --> 00:45:25,473
What do you mean how do I know? I know.

1173
00:45:25,474 --> 00:45:27,058
Because they?

1174
00:45:27,059 --> 00:45:28,519
Yes, because they.

1175
00:45:30,020 --> 00:45:32,188
How do you know that they're really?

1176
00:45:32,189 --> 00:45:35,525
What are you saying,
that they fake orgasm?

1177
00:45:35,526 --> 00:45:36,859
It's possible.

1178
00:45:36,860 --> 00:45:37,944
Get outta here.

1179
00:45:37,945 --> 00:45:38,778
Why?

1180
00:45:38,779 --> 00:45:41,489
Most women, at one time
or another, have faked it.

1181
00:45:41,490 --> 00:45:43,116
Well they haven't faked it with me.

1182
00:45:43,117 --> 00:45:43,992
How do you know?

1183
00:45:45,619 --> 00:45:46,995
Because I know.

1184
00:45:48,831 --> 00:45:50,331
Oh.

1185
00:45:50,332 --> 00:45:52,208
Right, that's right.

1186
00:45:52,209 --> 00:45:54,669
I forgot, you're a man.

1187
00:45:54,670 --> 00:45:55,795
What does that supposed to me?

1188
00:45:55,796 --> 00:45:56,796
Nothing.

1189
00:45:56,797 --> 00:45:58,756
It's just that all men are
sure it never happened to them

1190
00:45:58,757 --> 00:46:00,216
and that most women,
at one time or another,

1191
00:46:00,217 --> 00:46:01,844
have done it, so you do the math.

1192
00:46:03,011 --> 00:46:05,722
You don't think that I
could tell the difference?

1193
00:46:05,723 --> 00:46:06,597
No.

1194
00:46:06,598 --> 00:46:08,058
Get out of here.

1195
00:46:14,940 --> 00:46:17,525
Oh.

1196
00:46:17,526 --> 00:46:18,318
Oh.

1197
00:46:20,404 --> 00:46:21,196
Ooh.

1198
00:46:23,031 --> 00:46:23,824
Are you okay?

1199
00:46:24,867 --> 00:46:25,659
Oh.

1200
00:46:28,579 --> 00:46:30,164
Oh, God.

1201
00:46:31,415 --> 00:46:33,333
Ooh, oh God.

1202
00:46:34,293 --> 00:46:35,127
Oh.

1203
00:46:36,462 --> 00:46:37,254
Ah.

1204
00:46:38,589 --> 00:46:40,798
Oh.

1205
00:46:40,799 --> 00:46:43,509
Oh, God.

1206
00:46:43,510 --> 00:46:44,595
Oh yeah, right there.

1207
00:46:45,512 --> 00:46:47,805
(gasping)

1208
00:46:47,806 --> 00:46:49,098
Oh.

1209
00:46:49,099 --> 00:46:50,516
Ah.

1210
00:46:50,517 --> 00:46:51,893
Oh.

1211
00:46:51,894 --> 00:46:53,394
Oh, God.

1212
00:46:53,395 --> 00:46:54,188
Oh, yes!

1213
00:46:55,147 --> 00:46:55,939
Yes! Yes!

1214
00:46:57,191 --> 00:47:00,067
Yes! Yes!

1215
00:47:00,068 --> 00:47:02,278
(gasping)

1216
00:47:02,279 --> 00:47:03,739
Oh, yes, yes, yes!

1217
00:47:05,866 --> 00:47:07,074
Oh!

1218
00:47:07,075 --> 00:47:10,203
Yes! Yes! Yes!
(thudding)

1219
00:47:10,204 --> 00:47:11,330
Yes! Yes! Yes!

1220
00:47:12,664 --> 00:47:13,457
Oh, oh.

1221
00:47:14,833 --> 00:47:16,751
Oh.

1222
00:47:16,752 --> 00:47:17,544
Oh, God.

1223
00:47:18,670 --> 00:47:19,463
Oh.

1224
00:47:28,555 --> 00:47:30,681
I'll have what she's having.

1225
00:47:30,682 --> 00:47:32,099
("Winder Wonderland" by Ray Charles)

1226
00:47:32,100 --> 00:47:36,896
♪ Sleigh bells ring, are you list'nin' ♪

1227
00:47:36,897 --> 00:47:41,317
♪ In the lane, snow is glist'nin' ♪

1228
00:47:41,318 --> 00:47:43,611
♪ A beautiful sight ♪

1229
00:47:43,612 --> 00:47:45,905
♪ We're happy tonight ♪

1230
00:47:45,906 --> 00:47:49,283
♪ Walkin' in a winter wonderland ♪

1231
00:47:49,284 --> 00:47:53,412
♪ Gone away is the bluebird ♪

1232
00:47:53,413 --> 00:47:55,748
♪ Here to stay ♪

1233
00:47:55,749 --> 00:47:59,085
♪ Is a new bird ♪

1234
00:47:59,086 --> 00:48:02,797
♪ He sings a love song as we go along ♪

1235
00:48:02,798 --> 00:48:07,093
♪ Walkin' in a winter wonderland ♪

1236
00:48:07,094 --> 00:48:11,514
♪ In a meadow we can build a snowman ♪

1237
00:48:11,515 --> 00:48:15,852
♪ And pretend that he is Parson Brown ♪

1238
00:48:15,853 --> 00:48:17,603
♪ He'll say, are you married ♪

1239
00:48:17,604 --> 00:48:20,106
♪ We'll say, no, man ♪

1240
00:48:20,107 --> 00:48:24,068
♪ But you can do the job when
you're in town, brother ♪

1241
00:48:24,069 --> 00:48:26,195
♪ Later on ♪

1242
00:48:26,196 --> 00:48:29,532
♪ We'll conspire ♪

1243
00:48:29,533 --> 00:48:33,202
♪ As we dream by the fire ♪

1244
00:48:33,203 --> 00:48:37,665
♪ To face unafraid the
plans that we made ♪

1245
00:48:37,666 --> 00:48:41,127
♪ Walkin' in a winter wonderland ♪

1246
00:48:41,128 --> 00:48:42,253
(popping)

1247
00:48:42,254 --> 00:48:45,673
♪ If they asked me ♪

1248
00:48:45,674 --> 00:48:49,886
♪ I could write a book ♪

1249
00:48:49,887 --> 00:48:52,722
♪ About the way you walk ♪

1250
00:48:52,723 --> 00:48:54,557
♪ And whisper and look ♪

1251
00:48:54,558 --> 00:48:56,601
I like you without your
beard, you can see your face.

1252
00:48:56,602 --> 00:48:58,185
Hey, there's my face.

1253
00:48:58,186 --> 00:48:59,854
(laughing)

1254
00:48:59,855 --> 00:49:00,688
Dipping you.

1255
00:49:00,689 --> 00:49:01,481
Oh!

1256
00:49:04,776 --> 00:49:06,819
I really wanna thank you
for taking me out tonight.

1257
00:49:06,820 --> 00:49:07,904
Oh, don't be silly.

1258
00:49:07,905 --> 00:49:09,530
The next New Year's Eve,
if neither one of us

1259
00:49:09,531 --> 00:49:12,033
is with anybody, you got a date.

1260
00:49:12,034 --> 00:49:12,826
Deal.

1261
00:49:14,953 --> 00:49:16,788
See, now we can dance cheek to cheek.

1262
00:49:19,124 --> 00:49:19,917
Mmmm.

1263
00:49:20,876 --> 00:49:23,419
♪ Is just to tell them ♪

1264
00:49:23,420 --> 00:49:28,299
♪ That I love you a lot ♪

1265
00:49:28,300 --> 00:49:33,054
♪ Then the world discovers ♪

1266
00:49:33,055 --> 00:49:36,807
♪ As my book ends ♪

1267
00:49:36,808 --> 00:49:41,187
♪ How to make two lovers ♪

1268
00:49:41,188 --> 00:49:43,856
♪ Of friends ♪

1269
00:49:43,857 --> 00:49:44,732
[Man] Hey, everybody!

1270
00:49:44,733 --> 00:49:47,318
10 seconds to New Years!

1271
00:49:47,319 --> 00:49:48,235
10!

1272
00:49:48,236 --> 00:49:49,779
Wanna get some air?

1273
00:49:49,780 --> 00:49:50,613
Yeah.

1274
00:49:50,614 --> 00:49:51,906
[Crowd] Six, five,

1275
00:49:51,907 --> 00:49:52,865
four,

1276
00:49:52,866 --> 00:49:54,159
three, two, one.

1277
00:49:55,535 --> 00:49:57,286
(cheering)

1278
00:49:57,287 --> 00:49:59,915
(horns honking)

1279
00:50:00,832 --> 00:50:02,750
[Woman] Happy New Years!

1280
00:50:02,751 --> 00:50:04,962
(cheering)

1281
00:50:06,046 --> 00:50:09,799
♪ Should old acquaintance be forgot ♪

1282
00:50:09,800 --> 00:50:14,763
♪ And never brought to mind ♪

1283
00:50:15,389 --> 00:50:19,183
♪ Should old acquaintance be forgot ♪

1284
00:50:19,184 --> 00:50:20,685
[Both] Happy New Year.

1285
00:50:20,686 --> 00:50:25,232
♪ And old lang syne ♪

1286
00:50:28,360 --> 00:50:31,112
Well, he was the head
counselor and the boys' camp

1287
00:50:31,113 --> 00:50:34,031
and I was the head counselor
at the girls' camp,

1288
00:50:34,032 --> 00:50:35,783
and they had a social one night,

1289
00:50:35,784 --> 00:50:37,994
and he walked across the room.

1290
00:50:37,995 --> 00:50:41,080
I thought he was coming to
talk to my friend, Maxine,

1291
00:50:41,081 --> 00:50:44,084
'cause people were always
crossing rooms to talk to Maxine.

1292
00:50:45,043 --> 00:50:48,212
But he was coming to
talk to me, and he said--

1293
00:50:48,213 --> 00:50:51,132
I'm Ben Small of the
Coney Island Smalls.

1294
00:50:51,133 --> 00:50:52,800
At that moment I knew.

1295
00:50:52,801 --> 00:50:54,928
I knew the way you know
about a good melon.

1296
00:50:57,639 --> 00:51:00,516
You sent flowers to yourself.

1297
00:51:00,517 --> 00:51:02,768
60 dollars I spent on this big stupid

1298
00:51:02,769 --> 00:51:04,478
arrangement of flowers and I wrote a card

1299
00:51:04,479 --> 00:51:05,855
that I planned to leave on the front table

1300
00:51:05,856 --> 00:51:08,399
where Arthur would just happen to see it.

1301
00:51:08,400 --> 00:51:10,317
What did the card say?

1302
00:51:10,318 --> 00:51:13,696
"Please say yes, love, Johnathon."

1303
00:51:13,697 --> 00:51:14,613
Did it work?

1304
00:51:14,614 --> 00:51:15,990
He never even came over.

1305
00:51:15,991 --> 00:51:17,283
He forgot this charity thing

1306
00:51:17,284 --> 00:51:18,868
that his wife was a chairman of.

1307
00:51:18,869 --> 00:51:20,327
He's never going to leave her.

1308
00:51:20,328 --> 00:51:21,328
Of course he isn't.

1309
00:51:21,329 --> 00:51:23,372
You're right, you're
right, I knew you're right.

1310
00:51:23,373 --> 00:51:24,874
Where is this place?

1311
00:51:24,875 --> 00:51:26,625
Somewhere on the next block.

1312
00:51:26,626 --> 00:51:27,626
(groaning)

1313
00:51:27,627 --> 00:51:29,462
I can't believe I'm doing this.

1314
00:51:29,463 --> 00:51:31,672
Look, Harry is one of my best friends

1315
00:51:31,673 --> 00:51:33,174
and you are one of my best friends

1316
00:51:33,175 --> 00:51:34,925
and if by some chance you two hit it off,

1317
00:51:34,926 --> 00:51:37,762
then we could all still be
friends instead of drifting apart

1318
00:51:37,763 --> 00:51:39,388
the way you do when you
get involved with someone

1319
00:51:39,389 --> 00:51:40,514
who doesn't know your friends.

1320
00:51:40,515 --> 00:51:41,766
You and I haven't drifted apart

1321
00:51:41,767 --> 00:51:43,226
since I started seeing Arthur.

1322
00:51:44,936 --> 00:51:47,271
If Arthur ever left his wife

1323
00:51:47,272 --> 00:51:48,606
and I actually met him,

1324
00:51:48,607 --> 00:51:51,276
I am sure that you and
I would drift apart.

1325
00:51:52,235 --> 00:51:54,528
He's never gonna leave her.

1326
00:51:54,529 --> 00:51:55,530
Of course he isn't.

1327
00:51:56,698 --> 00:51:58,949
You're right, you're
right, I know you're right.

1328
00:51:58,950 --> 00:52:00,451
I don't know about this.

1329
00:52:00,452 --> 00:52:01,619
It's just a dinner.

1330
00:52:01,620 --> 00:52:03,204
You know, I've finally gone
to a new place in my life

1331
00:52:03,205 --> 00:52:04,830
where I'm comfortable with the fact

1332
00:52:04,831 --> 00:52:06,999
that it's just me and my work.

1333
00:52:07,000 --> 00:52:08,584
If she's so great, why
aren't you taking her out?

1334
00:52:08,585 --> 00:52:10,127
How many times do I have to tell you?

1335
00:52:10,128 --> 00:52:11,128
We're just friends.

1336
00:52:11,129 --> 00:52:12,379
So you're saying she's
not that attractive.

1337
00:52:12,380 --> 00:52:14,006
No, I told you she is attractive.

1338
00:52:14,007 --> 00:52:15,758
Yeah but you also said
she has a good personality.

1339
00:52:15,759 --> 00:52:17,177
She has a good personality.

1340
00:52:20,263 --> 00:52:21,388
What?

1341
00:52:21,389 --> 00:52:23,140
When someone's not that attractive,

1342
00:52:23,141 --> 00:52:26,393
they're always described as
having a good personality.

1343
00:52:26,394 --> 00:52:28,270
Look, if you would ask me,
"What does she look like?"

1344
00:52:28,271 --> 00:52:30,147
and I said, "She has a good personality."

1345
00:52:30,148 --> 00:52:31,690
That means she's not attractive.

1346
00:52:31,691 --> 00:52:33,150
But just because I happened to mention

1347
00:52:33,151 --> 00:52:35,694
that she has a good personality,
she could be either.

1348
00:52:35,695 --> 00:52:37,488
She could be attractive
with a good personality,

1349
00:52:37,489 --> 00:52:39,532
or not attractive with a good personality.

1350
00:52:39,533 --> 00:52:40,658
So which one is she?

1351
00:52:40,659 --> 00:52:41,659
Attractive.

1352
00:52:41,660 --> 00:52:43,036
But not beautiful, right?

1353
00:52:46,665 --> 00:52:48,499
It's like, whenever
I read Jimmy Breslin,

1354
00:52:48,500 --> 00:52:49,751
it's as if he's leaving

1355
00:52:51,211 --> 00:52:54,755
a wake-up call for the
City of New York, you know?

1356
00:52:54,756 --> 00:52:56,298
What do you mean by a wake-up call?

1357
00:52:56,299 --> 00:52:57,259
Well, he's saying.

1358
00:53:01,972 --> 00:53:05,474
Would I have seen any of your windows?

1359
00:53:05,475 --> 00:53:08,853
A couple of weeks ago, I
did a thing with hostages.

1360
00:53:08,854 --> 00:53:09,937
People in blindfolds?

1361
00:53:09,938 --> 00:53:11,397
Yeah.

1362
00:53:11,398 --> 00:53:12,899
I thought it was like late 80s.

1363
00:53:14,943 --> 00:53:16,402
It's interesting.

1364
00:53:16,403 --> 00:53:19,446
Let's just say I'm really
not a big fan of Jimmy Breslin.

1365
00:53:19,447 --> 00:53:21,407
Well, he's the reason I become a writer

1366
00:53:21,408 --> 00:53:23,160
but that's not important.

1367
00:53:36,882 --> 00:53:38,257
Harry?

1368
00:53:38,258 --> 00:53:40,509
You and Marie are both from New Jersey.

1369
00:53:40,510 --> 00:53:41,343
Really?

1370
00:53:41,344 --> 00:53:42,178
Where are you from?

1371
00:53:42,179 --> 00:53:43,137
South Orange.

1372
00:53:43,138 --> 00:53:44,096
Haddonfield.

1373
00:53:44,097 --> 00:53:45,140
Oh.

1374
00:53:51,771 --> 00:53:53,772
So what're we gonna order?

1375
00:53:53,773 --> 00:53:56,192
Well, I'm going to start
with the grilled riddichio.

1376
00:53:56,193 --> 00:53:57,776
Jess, Sally is a great orderer.

1377
00:53:57,777 --> 00:53:59,653
Not only does she always pick
the best thing in the menu

1378
00:53:59,654 --> 00:54:01,697
but she orders it in a way that the chef

1379
00:54:01,698 --> 00:54:03,282
didn't even know how good it could be.

1380
00:54:03,283 --> 00:54:05,326
I think restaurants
have become too important.

1381
00:54:05,327 --> 00:54:06,660
I agree.

1382
00:54:06,661 --> 00:54:08,120
Restaurants are to people in the 80s

1383
00:54:08,121 --> 00:54:10,165
what theatre was to people in the 60s.

1384
00:54:11,041 --> 00:54:12,375
I read that in magazine.

1385
00:54:13,627 --> 00:54:14,419
I wrote that.

1386
00:54:15,795 --> 00:54:16,629
Get out of here.

1387
00:54:16,630 --> 00:54:18,714
No, I did, I wrote that.

1388
00:54:18,715 --> 00:54:21,342
I've never quoted anything
from a magazine in my life.

1389
00:54:21,343 --> 00:54:23,385
That's amazing, don't
you think that's amazing?

1390
00:54:23,386 --> 00:54:24,429
And you wrote it?

1391
00:54:25,764 --> 00:54:28,349
I also wrote "Pesto is
the quiche of the 80s."

1392
00:54:28,350 --> 00:54:30,267
Get over yourself.

1393
00:54:30,268 --> 00:54:31,602
I did.

1394
00:54:31,603 --> 00:54:32,895
Where did I read that?

1395
00:54:32,896 --> 00:54:33,979
New York Magazine.

1396
00:54:33,980 --> 00:54:36,523
Sally writes for New York Magazine.

1397
00:54:36,524 --> 00:54:39,235
You know that piece
had a real impact on me.

1398
00:54:39,236 --> 00:54:40,986
I don't know that much about writing but--

1399
00:54:40,987 --> 00:54:43,197
It spoke to you and that pleases me.

1400
00:54:43,198 --> 00:54:46,116
[Marie] You have to
admire people who can be

1401
00:54:46,117 --> 00:54:47,284
that articulate.

1402
00:54:47,285 --> 00:54:50,705
[Jess] Nobody has ever
quoted me back to me before.

1403
00:55:00,298 --> 00:55:03,969
Oh, I've been looking
for a red suede pump.

1404
00:55:06,096 --> 00:55:07,347
What do you think of Jess?

1405
00:55:09,349 --> 00:55:10,474
Well.

1406
00:55:10,475 --> 00:55:12,269
Do you think you could go out with him?

1407
00:55:13,645 --> 00:55:14,478
I don't know.

1408
00:55:14,479 --> 00:55:16,648
Because I feel really
comfortable with him.

1409
00:55:17,565 --> 00:55:19,316
You wanna go out with Jess.

1410
00:55:19,317 --> 00:55:20,943
If it would be all right with you.

1411
00:55:20,944 --> 00:55:21,736
Sure, sure.

1412
00:55:22,862 --> 00:55:24,029
I'm just worried about Harry.

1413
00:55:24,030 --> 00:55:25,322
He's very sensitive,

1414
00:55:25,323 --> 00:55:26,657
he's going through a rough period

1415
00:55:26,658 --> 00:55:29,326
and I just don't want you
to reject him right now.

1416
00:55:29,327 --> 00:55:31,787
I won't, I totally understand.

1417
00:55:31,788 --> 00:55:33,038
If you don't think
you're going to call Marie,

1418
00:55:33,039 --> 00:55:35,291
do you mind if I call her?

1419
00:55:35,292 --> 00:55:36,917
- No, no.
- Good, good, good.

1420
00:55:36,918 --> 00:55:38,919
But for tonight, you shouldn't.

1421
00:55:38,920 --> 00:55:40,754
I mean, Sally's very vulnerable right now.

1422
00:55:40,755 --> 00:55:42,464
I mean, you can call Marie, it's fine.

1423
00:55:42,465 --> 00:55:44,383
But just wait for a week or so, you know?

1424
00:55:44,384 --> 00:55:45,467
Don't make any moves tonight.

1425
00:55:45,468 --> 00:55:46,468
Fine, no problem.

1426
00:55:46,469 --> 00:55:48,305
I wasn't even thinking about tonight.

1427
00:55:49,848 --> 00:55:52,224
Well, I don't really feel
much like walking anymore.

1428
00:55:52,225 --> 00:55:53,559
I think I'll get a cab.

1429
00:55:53,560 --> 00:55:54,393
I'll go with you.

1430
00:55:54,394 --> 00:55:55,227
Great!

1431
00:55:55,228 --> 00:55:56,021
Taxi!

1432
00:56:08,283 --> 00:56:10,701
A man came to me and said,

1433
00:56:10,702 --> 00:56:13,871
"I found nice girl for you.

1434
00:56:13,872 --> 00:56:17,459
"She lives in the next village,

1435
00:56:18,376 --> 00:56:21,212
"and she is ready for marriage."

1436
00:56:22,797 --> 00:56:25,967
We were not suppose to
meet until the wedding

1437
00:56:27,177 --> 00:56:29,386
but I wanted to make sure.

1438
00:56:29,387 --> 00:56:31,722
So I sneak into her village,

1439
00:56:31,723 --> 00:56:33,849
hid behind a tree,

1440
00:56:33,850 --> 00:56:36,353
watch her washing the clothes.

1441
00:56:37,479 --> 00:56:41,482
I think if I don't like the way she looks,

1442
00:56:41,483 --> 00:56:43,484
I don't marry her.

1443
00:56:43,485 --> 00:56:45,320
But she look very nice to me.

1444
00:56:46,279 --> 00:56:48,990
So I said okay to the man.

1445
00:56:50,241 --> 00:56:51,909
We get married.

1446
00:56:51,910 --> 00:56:54,871
We married for 55 years.

1447
00:56:56,373 --> 00:56:59,334
(traffic commotion)

1448
00:57:02,045 --> 00:57:03,712
I have to get this, I have to get this.

1449
00:57:03,713 --> 00:57:05,881
Harry, we're here for Jess and Marie.

1450
00:57:05,882 --> 00:57:06,715
I know, we'll find them something.

1451
00:57:06,716 --> 00:57:08,550
There's great stuff here.

1452
00:57:08,551 --> 00:57:09,885
We should've gone to the plant store.

1453
00:57:09,886 --> 00:57:11,303
Here, perfect for them.

1454
00:57:11,304 --> 00:57:13,263
What's that?

1455
00:57:13,264 --> 00:57:16,183
Battery operated pith helmet, with fan.

1456
00:57:16,184 --> 00:57:17,768
Why is this necessary in life?

1457
00:57:17,769 --> 00:57:18,853
I don't know.

1458
00:57:19,771 --> 00:57:22,439
Look at this, also makes great fries.

1459
00:57:22,440 --> 00:57:23,273
Uh oh.

1460
00:57:23,274 --> 00:57:24,108
Good.

1461
00:57:24,109 --> 00:57:26,276
Hold off the dogs, the hunt is over.

1462
00:57:26,277 --> 00:57:29,279
Sally, this is the greatest.

1463
00:57:29,280 --> 00:57:31,782
Sally, please report to me.

1464
00:57:31,783 --> 00:57:32,616
Look at this.

1465
00:57:32,617 --> 00:57:34,660
This is the greatest,
you're gonna love this.

1466
00:57:34,661 --> 00:57:36,286
This is a singing machine.

1467
00:57:36,287 --> 00:57:37,121
Look.

1468
00:57:37,122 --> 00:57:40,124
You sing the lead and it has
the backup and everything.

1469
00:57:40,125 --> 00:57:41,041
This is from Oklahoma!

1470
00:57:41,042 --> 00:57:41,959
Here is the lyrics right here.

1471
00:57:41,960 --> 00:57:43,210
"The Surrey with the Fringe on Top."

1472
00:57:43,211 --> 00:57:44,711
Yes, perfect.

1473
00:57:44,712 --> 00:57:45,546
Oh.

1474
00:57:45,547 --> 00:57:47,548
(pleasant music)

1475
00:57:47,549 --> 00:57:50,426
♪ Chicks and ducks and
geese better scurry ♪

1476
00:57:50,427 --> 00:57:56,306
♪ When I take you out in my surrey ♪

1477
00:57:56,307 --> 00:57:58,100
♪ With the fringe on top ♪

1478
00:57:58,101 --> 00:57:59,309
♪ Now you ♪

1479
00:57:59,310 --> 00:58:01,895
♪ Watch that fringe and
see how it flutters ♪

1480
00:58:01,896 --> 00:58:04,815
♪ When I drive them
high steppen strutters ♪

1481
00:58:04,816 --> 00:58:07,484
♪ Nosy pokes will peek
through their shutters ♪

1482
00:58:07,485 --> 00:58:09,903
♪ And their eyes will pop ♪

1483
00:58:09,904 --> 00:58:11,321
♪ The wheels are yellow ♪

1484
00:58:11,322 --> 00:58:12,781
♪ The upholstery's brown ♪

1485
00:58:12,782 --> 00:58:15,451
♪ The dashboard's genuine leather ♪

1486
00:58:15,452 --> 00:58:18,579
♪ With isinglass curtains you can roll ♪

1487
00:58:18,580 --> 00:58:19,372
What?

1488
00:58:20,373 --> 00:58:21,206
It's my voice, isn't it?

1489
00:58:21,207 --> 00:58:23,625
I hate my voice.

1490
00:58:23,626 --> 00:58:25,377
I know, it's terrible, Joe hated--

1491
00:58:25,378 --> 00:58:27,212
It's Helen.

1492
00:58:27,213 --> 00:58:28,006
Helen?

1493
00:58:29,299 --> 00:58:31,508
She's coming right towards me.

1494
00:58:31,509 --> 00:58:35,555
(pleasant karaoke machine music)

1495
00:58:39,601 --> 00:58:40,602
How are you, Harry?

1496
00:58:41,811 --> 00:58:42,854
Fine, I'm fine.

1497
00:58:44,981 --> 00:58:46,648
This is Ira Stone.

1498
00:58:46,649 --> 00:58:47,858
Harry Burns.

1499
00:58:47,859 --> 00:58:48,651
[Ira] Harry.

1500
00:58:49,736 --> 00:58:54,072
(pleasant karaoke machine music)

1501
00:58:54,073 --> 00:58:55,741
I'm sorry, this is Sally Albright.

1502
00:58:55,742 --> 00:58:56,534
Helen Hillson

1503
00:58:57,577 --> 00:58:58,369
and Ira.

1504
00:58:59,621 --> 00:59:01,288
Sally.

1505
00:59:01,289 --> 00:59:02,623
Nice to meet you.

1506
00:59:02,624 --> 00:59:03,416
Hi.

1507
00:59:06,878 --> 00:59:07,670
Well,

1508
00:59:09,255 --> 00:59:10,547
see you.

1509
00:59:10,548 --> 00:59:11,508
Yeah, bye.

1510
00:59:14,135 --> 00:59:15,552
Nice to meet you,

1511
00:59:15,553 --> 00:59:17,095
Ira.

1512
00:59:17,096 --> 00:59:21,642
(pleasant karaoke machine music)

1513
00:59:21,643 --> 00:59:22,435
You okay?

1514
00:59:24,979 --> 00:59:25,939
Yeah, I'm perfect.

1515
00:59:27,565 --> 00:59:28,774
She looked weird, didn't she?

1516
00:59:28,775 --> 00:59:31,068
She looked really weird,
she looked very weird.

1517
00:59:31,069 --> 00:59:32,236
I've never seen her before.

1518
00:59:32,237 --> 00:59:33,403
Trust me, she looked weird.

1519
00:59:33,404 --> 00:59:34,947
Her legs looked heavy.

1520
00:59:34,948 --> 00:59:36,365
Really, she must be retaining water.

1521
00:59:36,366 --> 00:59:37,199
Harry.

1522
00:59:37,200 --> 00:59:38,826
Believe me, the woman saved everything.

1523
00:59:42,747 --> 00:59:45,040
[Sally] You sure you're okay?

1524
00:59:45,041 --> 00:59:46,625
Oh, I'm fine.

1525
00:59:46,626 --> 00:59:48,126
Look, it had to happen at some point,

1526
00:59:48,127 --> 00:59:49,336
in a city of eight million people,

1527
00:59:49,337 --> 00:59:50,629
you're bound to run into your ex-wife,

1528
00:59:50,630 --> 00:59:52,130
so, boom, it happened,

1529
00:59:52,131 --> 00:59:53,508
and now I'm fine.

1530
00:59:57,387 --> 00:59:59,137
I like it, it works.

1531
00:59:59,138 --> 01:00:00,347
It says "home" to me.

1532
01:00:00,348 --> 01:00:01,348
All right, all right.

1533
01:00:01,349 --> 01:00:03,268
Well let Harry and Sally be the judge.

1534
01:00:04,686 --> 01:00:05,562
What do you think?

1535
01:00:07,397 --> 01:00:08,230
It's nice.

1536
01:00:08,231 --> 01:00:09,356
Case closed.

1537
01:00:09,357 --> 01:00:11,858
Of course he likes it, he's a guy.

1538
01:00:11,859 --> 01:00:12,694
Sally?

1539
01:00:15,572 --> 01:00:17,197
[Jess] What's so awful about it?

1540
01:00:17,198 --> 01:00:19,199
It's so awful there's no way to even

1541
01:00:19,200 --> 01:00:21,618
begin to explain what's so awful about it.

1542
01:00:21,619 --> 01:00:23,912
Honey, I don't object
to any of your things.

1543
01:00:23,913 --> 01:00:24,913
[Marie] If we had an extra room

1544
01:00:24,914 --> 01:00:27,374
you could put all of your things
including your bar stools.

1545
01:00:27,375 --> 01:00:28,500
No, honey, wait, wait, wait,

1546
01:00:28,501 --> 01:00:29,334
honey, honey, wait, wait, wait.

1547
01:00:29,335 --> 01:00:30,962
You don't like my bar stools?

1548
01:00:32,297 --> 01:00:34,965
Harry, come on, someone
has to be on my side.

1549
01:00:34,966 --> 01:00:36,258
I'm on your side,

1550
01:00:36,259 --> 01:00:37,843
I'm just trying to help
you have good taste.

1551
01:00:37,844 --> 01:00:40,470
I have good taste!

1552
01:00:40,471 --> 01:00:42,389
Everybody thinks they have good taste

1553
01:00:42,390 --> 01:00:43,223
and a sense of humor

1554
01:00:43,224 --> 01:00:45,100
but they couldn't possibly
all have good taste.

1555
01:00:45,101 --> 01:00:47,185
You know, it's funny.

1556
01:00:47,186 --> 01:00:49,521
We started out like this, Helen and I.

1557
01:00:49,522 --> 01:00:51,273
We had blank walls, we hung things,

1558
01:00:51,274 --> 01:00:53,108
we picked out tiles together.

1559
01:00:53,109 --> 01:00:54,359
Then you know what happens?

1560
01:00:54,360 --> 01:00:56,028
Six years later, you find yourself singing

1561
01:00:56,029 --> 01:00:58,531
"Surrey With The Fringe
On Top" in front of Ira!

1562
01:00:59,907 --> 01:01:01,950
Do we have to talk about this right now?

1563
01:01:01,951 --> 01:01:04,244
Yes, I think that right now
actually is the perfect time

1564
01:01:04,245 --> 01:01:06,079
to talk about this
because I want our friends

1565
01:01:06,080 --> 01:01:08,832
to benefit from the
wisdom of my experience.

1566
01:01:08,833 --> 01:01:10,459
Right now everything is great,

1567
01:01:10,460 --> 01:01:12,419
everyone is happy, everyone is in love,

1568
01:01:12,420 --> 01:01:14,755
and that's wonderful but you gotta know

1569
01:01:14,756 --> 01:01:15,881
that sooner or later,

1570
01:01:15,882 --> 01:01:17,132
you're going to be screaming at each other

1571
01:01:17,133 --> 01:01:19,092
about who's gonna get this dish.

1572
01:01:19,093 --> 01:01:20,802
This eight dollar dish will cost you

1573
01:01:20,803 --> 01:01:22,304
a thousand dollars in phone calls

1574
01:01:22,305 --> 01:01:24,389
to the legal firm of
that's-mine-this-is-yours.

1575
01:01:24,390 --> 01:01:25,223
[Sally] Harry.

1576
01:01:25,224 --> 01:01:26,475
Please.

1577
01:01:26,476 --> 01:01:28,060
Jess, Marie,

1578
01:01:28,061 --> 01:01:29,895
do me a favor for your own good.

1579
01:01:29,896 --> 01:01:32,314
Put your name in your books right now

1580
01:01:32,315 --> 01:01:34,316
before they get mixed up and
you don't know who's is who's.

1581
01:01:34,317 --> 01:01:35,901
Because some day, believe it or not,

1582
01:01:35,902 --> 01:01:39,655
you'll go 15 rounds over who's
gonna get this coffee table.

1583
01:01:39,656 --> 01:01:42,032
This stupid, wagon wheel,

1584
01:01:42,033 --> 01:01:44,702
Roy Rogers garage sale coffee table!

1585
01:01:46,913 --> 01:01:48,622
I thought you liked it.

1586
01:01:48,623 --> 01:01:50,249
I was being nice!

1587
01:01:52,835 --> 01:01:54,961
(door thudding)

1588
01:01:54,962 --> 01:01:56,339
He just bumped into Helen.

1589
01:02:04,681 --> 01:02:05,682
I want you to know

1590
01:02:07,600 --> 01:02:11,020
that I never want that
wagon wheel coffee table.

1591
01:02:20,655 --> 01:02:22,740
I know, I know, I
shouldn't have done it.

1592
01:02:23,825 --> 01:02:25,742
Harry, you're gonna
have to try and find a way

1593
01:02:25,743 --> 01:02:28,578
of not expressing every
feeling that you have,

1594
01:02:28,579 --> 01:02:30,706
every moment that you have them.

1595
01:02:30,707 --> 01:02:32,332
Oh really?

1596
01:02:32,333 --> 01:02:33,458
Yes.

1597
01:02:33,459 --> 01:02:35,753
There are times and places for things.

1598
01:02:37,130 --> 01:02:38,797
Well the next time you're
giving a lecture series

1599
01:02:38,798 --> 01:02:42,217
on social graces would you let
me know, 'cause I'll sign up.

1600
01:02:42,218 --> 01:02:43,010
Hey.

1601
01:02:44,011 --> 01:02:46,012
You don't have to take
your anger out on me.

1602
01:02:46,013 --> 01:02:48,306
Oh, I think I'm entitled to
throw a little anger your way,

1603
01:02:48,307 --> 01:02:50,726
especially when I'm being
told how to live my life

1604
01:02:50,727 --> 01:02:52,644
by Miss Hospital-Corners.

1605
01:02:52,645 --> 01:02:53,895
What's that supposed to mean?

1606
01:02:53,896 --> 01:02:56,148
I mean, nothing bothers you.

1607
01:02:56,149 --> 01:02:58,483
You never get upset about anything!

1608
01:02:58,484 --> 01:02:59,985
Don't be ridiculous!

1609
01:02:59,986 --> 01:03:01,361
What?

1610
01:03:01,362 --> 01:03:02,988
You never get upset about Joe.

1611
01:03:02,989 --> 01:03:04,531
I never see that back up on you.

1612
01:03:04,532 --> 01:03:05,907
How is that possible?

1613
01:03:05,908 --> 01:03:08,452
Don't you experience any feelings of loss?

1614
01:03:08,453 --> 01:03:10,287
I don't have to take this crap from you!

1615
01:03:10,288 --> 01:03:12,831
If you're so over Joe, why
aren't you seeing anyone?

1616
01:03:12,832 --> 01:03:14,124
I see people!

1617
01:03:14,125 --> 01:03:14,958
See people.

1618
01:03:14,959 --> 01:03:17,669
Have you slept with one person
since you broke up with Joe?

1619
01:03:17,670 --> 01:03:20,547
What the hell does that
have to do with anything?

1620
01:03:20,548 --> 01:03:23,593
That will prove I'm over Joe,
because I fucked somebody?

1621
01:03:24,635 --> 01:03:26,511
Harry you're gonna have
to move back to New Jersey

1622
01:03:26,512 --> 01:03:28,346
because you've slept with
everybody in New York

1623
01:03:28,347 --> 01:03:29,681
and I don't see that turning Helen

1624
01:03:29,682 --> 01:03:31,225
into a faint memory for you!

1625
01:03:32,351 --> 01:03:34,102
Besides, I will make love to somebody

1626
01:03:34,103 --> 01:03:36,521
when it is "making love,"
not the way you do it

1627
01:03:36,522 --> 01:03:38,566
like you're out for revenge or something!

1628
01:03:40,026 --> 01:03:41,110
Are you finished now?

1629
01:03:42,862 --> 01:03:43,654
Yes.

1630
01:03:44,530 --> 01:03:45,615
Can I say something?

1631
01:03:47,033 --> 01:03:47,825
Yes.

1632
01:03:51,412 --> 01:03:53,289
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

1633
01:04:05,092 --> 01:04:06,219
Don't say a word.

1634
01:04:11,098 --> 01:04:12,307
It's a monkey! It's a monkey!

1635
01:04:12,308 --> 01:04:14,184
Monkey see, monkey do!

1636
01:04:14,185 --> 01:04:15,185
It's an ape!

1637
01:04:15,186 --> 01:04:16,019
Going ape!

1638
01:04:16,020 --> 01:04:16,813
It's a baby!

1639
01:04:17,730 --> 01:04:18,688
[Jess] Planet of the Apes!

1640
01:04:18,689 --> 01:04:19,523
Planet of the Apes?

1641
01:04:19,524 --> 01:04:20,357
She just said it's a baby.

1642
01:04:20,358 --> 01:04:21,233
How about "Planet of the Dopes?"

1643
01:04:21,234 --> 01:04:22,734
It doesn't look like a baby.

1644
01:04:22,735 --> 01:04:23,693
[Harry] Big mouth.

1645
01:04:23,694 --> 01:04:25,278
Mick Jagger as a baby.

1646
01:04:25,279 --> 01:04:26,238
[Jess] Baby ape! Baby ape!

1647
01:04:26,239 --> 01:04:27,948
[Harry] Stop with the
apes, would you please?

1648
01:04:27,949 --> 01:04:28,782
[Alice] Baby's breath.

1649
01:04:28,783 --> 01:04:31,243
Rosemary's Baby's Mouth.

1650
01:04:31,244 --> 01:04:32,452
Won't You Come Home, Bill Baby?

1651
01:04:32,453 --> 01:04:33,829
Kiss the baby.

1652
01:04:33,830 --> 01:04:35,288
Melancholy baby's mouth!

1653
01:04:35,289 --> 01:04:36,289
Baby fish mouth!

1654
01:04:36,290 --> 01:04:37,792
Baby fish mouth!

1655
01:04:39,335 --> 01:04:40,502
[Man] 15 seconds.

1656
01:04:40,503 --> 01:04:42,128
[Alice] Baby boom.

1657
01:04:42,129 --> 01:04:43,463
[Harry] Baby?

1658
01:04:43,464 --> 01:04:45,633
[Jess] Draw something
resembling anything.

1659
01:04:46,509 --> 01:04:47,342
Crying baby.

1660
01:04:47,343 --> 01:04:48,176
Kiss the baby.

1661
01:04:48,177 --> 01:04:49,010
Baby spitting up.

1662
01:04:49,011 --> 01:04:50,637
Exorcist baby.

1663
01:04:50,638 --> 01:04:52,430
[Alice] Yes sir, that's my baby.

1664
01:04:52,431 --> 01:04:54,140
[Harry] No sir, don't mean maybe.

1665
01:04:54,141 --> 01:04:55,600
[Man] That's it, time's up.

1666
01:04:55,601 --> 01:04:57,018
Baby talk.

1667
01:04:57,019 --> 01:04:58,603
Baby talk?

1668
01:04:58,604 --> 01:04:59,437
What's that?

1669
01:04:59,438 --> 01:05:00,272
That's not a saying.

1670
01:05:00,273 --> 01:05:02,858
Oh but "baby fish mouth"
is sweeping the nation.

1671
01:05:02,859 --> 01:05:04,568
I hear them talking.
(laughing)

1672
01:05:04,569 --> 01:05:07,320
Final score, our team 110,

1673
01:05:07,321 --> 01:05:09,031
you guys, 60.

1674
01:05:09,907 --> 01:05:11,783
Fixed, definitely fixed.

1675
01:05:11,784 --> 01:05:13,034
It's pathetic.

1676
01:05:13,035 --> 01:05:14,119
I can't draw.

1677
01:05:14,120 --> 01:05:17,081
No, that's a baby and
it's clearly talking.

1678
01:05:18,291 --> 01:05:19,125
You're wonderful.

1679
01:05:20,418 --> 01:05:22,127
[Marie] All right, who wants coffee?

1680
01:05:22,128 --> 01:05:22,961
[Jess] I do and I love you.

1681
01:05:22,962 --> 01:05:24,045
[Alice] Do you have any tea?

1682
01:05:24,046 --> 01:05:24,880
[Marie] One tea.

1683
01:05:24,881 --> 01:05:26,339
Industrial strength.

1684
01:05:26,340 --> 01:05:27,465
I'll help you.

1685
01:05:27,466 --> 01:05:28,300
De-caf?

1686
01:05:28,301 --> 01:05:29,093
Yeah.

1687
01:05:31,762 --> 01:05:32,596
[Alice] Cream.

1688
01:05:32,597 --> 01:05:33,471
[Woman] Where's the bathroom?

1689
01:05:33,472 --> 01:05:35,057
Through that door down the hall.

1690
01:05:36,350 --> 01:05:39,312
(somber jazz music)

1691
01:05:42,690 --> 01:05:44,524
Never looked like a baby to me.

1692
01:05:44,525 --> 01:05:45,358
Which part?

1693
01:05:45,359 --> 01:05:46,192
All of it.

1694
01:05:46,193 --> 01:05:48,028
Hey, Jess, you were gonna
show me the cover of your book.

1695
01:05:48,029 --> 01:05:49,654
Oh yeah, yeah, it's in the den.

1696
01:05:49,655 --> 01:05:52,449
Look, Julian, help yourself.
have some more wine.

1697
01:05:52,450 --> 01:05:54,242
Whatever you like, okay?

1698
01:05:54,243 --> 01:05:55,076
I like saying "It's in the den."

1699
01:05:55,077 --> 01:05:56,953
It's got a nice ring to it.

1700
01:05:56,954 --> 01:05:59,998
Emily is a little young
for Harry, don't you think?

1701
01:05:59,999 --> 01:06:02,792
Well she's young but
look what she's done.

1702
01:06:02,793 --> 01:06:03,710
What has she done?

1703
01:06:03,711 --> 01:06:05,462
She makes desserts.

1704
01:06:05,463 --> 01:06:07,339
Does Julian seem a little stuffy to you?

1705
01:06:07,340 --> 01:06:09,883
He's a good guy, you should
talk to him, get to know him.

1706
01:06:09,884 --> 01:06:11,343
He's too tall to talk to.

1707
01:06:11,344 --> 01:06:14,055
She makes 35 hundred
chocolate mousse pies a week.

1708
01:06:16,057 --> 01:06:18,224
Emily is "Aunt Emily?"

1709
01:06:18,225 --> 01:06:19,726
He took us all to a Met game last week.

1710
01:06:19,727 --> 01:06:20,936
It was great.

1711
01:06:20,937 --> 01:06:22,771
You all went to a Met game together?

1712
01:06:22,772 --> 01:06:23,605
Yeah,

1713
01:06:23,606 --> 01:06:25,523
but it was a last minute thing.

1714
01:06:25,524 --> 01:06:26,942
But Sally hates baseball.

1715
01:06:26,943 --> 01:06:28,944
Harry doesn't even like sweets.

1716
01:06:28,945 --> 01:06:30,863
Julian is great.

1717
01:06:32,198 --> 01:06:33,281
I know.

1718
01:06:33,282 --> 01:06:34,240
He's a grownup.

1719
01:06:34,241 --> 01:06:35,533
Emily is terrific.

1720
01:06:35,534 --> 01:06:36,576
Yeah.

1721
01:06:36,577 --> 01:06:37,869
Of course, when I asked her where she was

1722
01:06:37,870 --> 01:06:40,538
when Kennedy was shot she
said, "Ted Kennedy was shot?"

1723
01:06:40,539 --> 01:06:41,290
No.

1724
01:06:51,133 --> 01:06:53,426
(phone ringing)

1725
01:06:53,427 --> 01:06:54,260
Hello.

1726
01:06:54,261 --> 01:06:55,637
[Sally] Are you alone?

1727
01:06:55,638 --> 01:06:57,847
Yeah, I was just finishing a book.

1728
01:06:57,848 --> 01:06:59,557
[Sally] Could you come over?

1729
01:06:59,558 --> 01:07:01,017
What's the matter?

1730
01:07:01,018 --> 01:07:02,852
He's getting married.

1731
01:07:02,853 --> 01:07:04,437
[Harry] Who?

1732
01:07:04,438 --> 01:07:05,272
Joe!

1733
01:07:06,565 --> 01:07:07,608
I'll be right there.

1734
01:07:11,237 --> 01:07:12,487
(sniffling)

1735
01:07:12,488 --> 01:07:13,780
Hi.

1736
01:07:13,781 --> 01:07:14,824
Are you all right?

1737
01:07:18,077 --> 01:07:18,869
Come on in.

1738
01:07:21,414 --> 01:07:22,789
(crying)

1739
01:07:22,790 --> 01:07:24,541
I'm sorry to call you so late.

1740
01:07:24,542 --> 01:07:25,376
It's all right.

1741
01:07:27,378 --> 01:07:28,837
I need a Kleenex.

1742
01:07:28,838 --> 01:07:30,631
Okay.

1743
01:07:31,632 --> 01:07:34,426
He just called me up,
"Wanted to see how you were."

1744
01:07:34,427 --> 01:07:36,094
"Fine, how are you?"

1745
01:07:36,095 --> 01:07:37,262
"Fine."

1746
01:07:37,263 --> 01:07:39,389
His secretary's on vacation,

1747
01:07:39,390 --> 01:07:40,890
everything's all backed up.

1748
01:07:40,891 --> 01:07:43,101
He's got a big case in New York.

1749
01:07:43,102 --> 01:07:43,978
Blah, blah, blah.

1750
01:07:45,980 --> 01:07:48,064
And I'm sitting on the phone thinking,

1751
01:07:48,065 --> 01:07:50,108
"I'm over him, I really am over him.

1752
01:07:50,109 --> 01:07:52,402
"I can't believe that I'd
ever be remotely interested

1753
01:07:52,403 --> 01:07:53,821
"in any of that."

1754
01:07:54,989 --> 01:07:58,616
And then he said, "I have some news."

1755
01:07:58,617 --> 01:08:00,661
(crying)

1756
01:08:02,455 --> 01:08:05,165
She works in his office,
she's a paralegal.

1757
01:08:05,166 --> 01:08:07,125
Her name is Kimberley.

1758
01:08:07,126 --> 01:08:08,793
(sobbing)

1759
01:08:08,794 --> 01:08:10,795
He just met her!

1760
01:08:10,796 --> 01:08:13,673
She's suppose to be his
transitional person,

1761
01:08:13,674 --> 01:08:16,468
she's not suppose to be the one.

1762
01:08:16,469 --> 01:08:18,596
(sobbing)

1763
01:08:21,891 --> 01:08:24,517
All this time I've been saying

1764
01:08:24,518 --> 01:08:26,145
that he didn't want to get married

1765
01:08:28,064 --> 01:08:29,356
but the truth is,

1766
01:08:30,399 --> 01:08:31,859
he didn't want to marry me.

1767
01:08:36,322 --> 01:08:37,490
He didn't love me.

1768
01:08:40,618 --> 01:08:42,702
(sobbing)

1769
01:08:42,703 --> 01:08:45,330
If you could take him
back right now, would you?

1770
01:08:45,331 --> 01:08:46,998
(sobbing)

1771
01:08:46,999 --> 01:08:47,792
No!

1772
01:08:49,376 --> 01:08:52,545
But why didn't he want to marry me?

1773
01:08:52,546 --> 01:08:54,547
What's the matter with me?

1774
01:08:54,548 --> 01:08:55,799
Nothing.

1775
01:08:55,800 --> 01:08:56,925
I'm difficult.

1776
01:08:56,926 --> 01:08:58,259
You're challenging.

1777
01:08:58,260 --> 01:09:01,096
I'm too structured, I'm
completely closed off.

1778
01:09:01,097 --> 01:09:02,097
But in a good way.

1779
01:09:02,098 --> 01:09:03,014
(sobbing)

1780
01:09:03,015 --> 01:09:06,018
No, no, no, I drove him away!

1781
01:09:08,312 --> 01:09:09,939
And I'm gonna be 40.

1782
01:09:11,941 --> 01:09:13,608
When?

1783
01:09:13,609 --> 01:09:14,818
Someday.

1784
01:09:14,819 --> 01:09:16,486
In eight years.

1785
01:09:16,487 --> 01:09:17,862
But it's there.

1786
01:09:17,863 --> 01:09:21,283
It's just sitting there
like this big dead end.

1787
01:09:22,618 --> 01:09:25,078
And it's not the same for men.

1788
01:09:25,079 --> 01:09:28,373
Charlie Chaplin had babies when he was 73.

1789
01:09:28,374 --> 01:09:30,625
Yeah but he was too old to pick them up.

1790
01:09:30,626 --> 01:09:33,128
(laughing)

1791
01:09:33,129 --> 01:09:35,256
(sobbing)

1792
01:09:36,799 --> 01:09:37,841
Aw, come here.

1793
01:09:37,842 --> 01:09:38,675
Come here.

1794
01:09:38,676 --> 01:09:40,552
It's gonna be okay.

1795
01:09:40,553 --> 01:09:42,763
It's gonna be fine, you'll see.

1796
01:09:44,932 --> 01:09:47,058
Go ahead, it's not one
of my favorites anyway.

1797
01:09:47,059 --> 01:09:49,686
(sobbing)

1798
01:09:49,687 --> 01:09:50,604
It's gonna be okay.

1799
01:09:52,356 --> 01:09:54,483
(huffing)

1800
01:09:58,195 --> 01:09:59,071
Hmmm, okay.

1801
01:10:00,489 --> 01:10:01,282
Okay.

1802
01:10:05,077 --> 01:10:06,494
I'll make some tea.

1803
01:10:06,495 --> 01:10:07,328
Harry?

1804
01:10:07,329 --> 01:10:09,372
Could you just hold me a little longer?

1805
01:10:09,373 --> 01:10:09,985
Oh, sure.

1806
01:10:16,172 --> 01:10:18,299
(sighing)

1807
01:10:51,332 --> 01:10:52,416
Are you comfortable?

1808
01:10:53,334 --> 01:10:54,126
Sure.

1809
01:11:00,132 --> 01:11:02,634
Do you want something
to drink or something?

1810
01:11:02,635 --> 01:11:03,510
No, I'm okay.

1811
01:11:05,304 --> 01:11:06,804
Well, I'm gonna get up for some water,

1812
01:11:06,805 --> 01:11:08,265
so it's really no trouble.

1813
01:11:09,266 --> 01:11:10,308
Okay.

1814
01:11:10,309 --> 01:11:11,101
Water.

1815
01:11:19,443 --> 01:11:22,488
(somber piano music)

1816
01:12:06,657 --> 01:12:08,283
You have all the video tapes alphabetized

1817
01:12:08,284 --> 01:12:09,660
and on index cards.

1818
01:12:11,745 --> 01:12:13,329
Thank you.

1819
01:12:13,330 --> 01:12:15,164
Do you wanna watch something?

1820
01:12:15,165 --> 01:12:16,417
No, not unless you do.

1821
01:12:17,293 --> 01:12:18,752
No, that's okay.

1822
01:12:33,559 --> 01:12:36,019
Do you wanna go to sleep?

1823
01:12:36,020 --> 01:12:36,812
Okay.

1824
01:12:38,397 --> 01:12:41,442
(somber piano music)

1825
01:13:11,430 --> 01:13:12,514
Where are you going?

1826
01:13:14,058 --> 01:13:14,850
I gotta go.

1827
01:13:17,519 --> 01:13:19,062
Gotta go home, I gotta change my clothes

1828
01:13:19,063 --> 01:13:20,855
and then I have to go
to work and so do you.

1829
01:13:20,856 --> 01:13:22,398
But after work, I'd like
to take out to dinner

1830
01:13:22,399 --> 01:13:23,274
if you're free.

1831
01:13:23,275 --> 01:13:24,734
Are you free?

1832
01:13:24,735 --> 01:13:25,985
Yes.

1833
01:13:25,986 --> 01:13:28,029
Fine, I'll call you later.

1834
01:13:28,030 --> 01:13:30,366
Fine.

1835
01:13:40,626 --> 01:13:43,253
(phone ringing)

1836
01:13:49,343 --> 01:13:50,135
Yours.

1837
01:13:51,095 --> 01:13:51,928
Hello.

1838
01:13:51,929 --> 01:13:53,262
I'm sorry to call so early.

1839
01:13:53,263 --> 01:13:54,097
Are you all right?

1840
01:13:54,098 --> 01:13:55,431
No one I know would call at this hour.

1841
01:13:55,432 --> 01:13:56,891
- I did something terrible.
- (phone ringing)

1842
01:13:56,892 --> 01:13:57,725
What did you do?

1843
01:13:57,726 --> 01:13:59,143
No one I know would call at this hour.

1844
01:13:59,144 --> 01:14:00,353
- It's so awful.
- I need to talk.

1845
01:14:00,354 --> 01:14:01,687
- What happened?
- What's the matter?

1846
01:14:01,688 --> 01:14:02,522
Harry came over last night.

1847
01:14:02,523 --> 01:14:03,940
I went over to Sally's last night.

1848
01:14:03,941 --> 01:14:05,775
Because I was upset that
Joe was getting married.

1849
01:14:05,776 --> 01:14:06,609
And one thing led to another.

1850
01:14:06,610 --> 01:14:08,111
And before I knew it we
were kissing and then--

1851
01:14:08,112 --> 01:14:09,195
To make a long story short.

1852
01:14:09,196 --> 01:14:10,279
[Harry And Sally] We did it.

1853
01:14:10,280 --> 01:14:11,364
[Jess And Marie] They did it.

1854
01:14:11,365 --> 01:14:12,698
That's great, Sally.

1855
01:14:12,699 --> 01:14:13,533
We've been praying for it.

1856
01:14:13,534 --> 01:14:15,159
You should've done
it in the first place.

1857
01:14:15,160 --> 01:14:16,411
For months we've been
saying you should do it.

1858
01:14:16,412 --> 01:14:17,453
You guys belong together.

1859
01:14:17,454 --> 01:14:19,163
It's like killing two
birds with one stone.

1860
01:14:19,164 --> 01:14:21,082
It's like two wrongs make a right.

1861
01:14:21,083 --> 01:14:21,916
[Jess And Marie] How was it?

1862
01:14:21,917 --> 01:14:22,917
The during part was good.

1863
01:14:22,918 --> 01:14:23,751
I thought it was good.

1864
01:14:23,752 --> 01:14:24,669
And then I felt suffocated.

1865
01:14:24,670 --> 01:14:25,503
But then I guess it wasn't.

1866
01:14:25,504 --> 01:14:26,963
- Jesus, I'm sorry.
- The worst.

1867
01:14:26,964 --> 01:14:27,797
I had to get out of there.

1868
01:14:27,798 --> 01:14:28,631
He just disappeared.

1869
01:14:28,632 --> 01:14:29,465
I feel so bad.

1870
01:14:29,466 --> 01:14:30,508
I'm so embarrassed.

1871
01:14:30,509 --> 01:14:31,717
- I don't blame you.
- That's horrible.

1872
01:14:31,718 --> 01:14:32,635
I think I'm coming down with something.

1873
01:14:32,636 --> 01:14:33,845
I think I'm catching a cold.

1874
01:14:33,846 --> 01:14:35,346
Look, it would've been
great if it worked out

1875
01:14:35,347 --> 01:14:36,180
but it didn't.

1876
01:14:36,181 --> 01:14:37,515
You should never go to bed with anyone

1877
01:14:37,516 --> 01:14:39,392
when you find out your
boyfriend is getting married.

1878
01:14:39,393 --> 01:14:40,268
Who's that talking?

1879
01:14:40,269 --> 01:14:41,102
Who?

1880
01:14:41,103 --> 01:14:41,894
Is that Jess on the phone?

1881
01:14:41,895 --> 01:14:42,812
It's Jane Fonda on the VCR.

1882
01:14:42,813 --> 01:14:43,646
It's Bryant Gumbel.

1883
01:14:43,647 --> 01:14:45,231
[Jess And Marie] Do you
wanna come over for breakfast?

1884
01:14:45,232 --> 01:14:46,399
No, I'm not up to it.

1885
01:14:46,400 --> 01:14:47,525
No, I feel too awful.

1886
01:14:47,526 --> 01:14:48,818
[Jess And Marie] Good.

1887
01:14:48,819 --> 01:14:50,153
I mean, it's so early.

1888
01:14:50,154 --> 01:14:51,404
But call me later if you want.

1889
01:14:51,405 --> 01:14:52,238
I'll call you later, okay?

1890
01:14:52,239 --> 01:14:53,364
- Okay, bye.
- Bye.

1891
01:14:53,365 --> 01:14:54,908
- Bye.
- Bye.

1892
01:14:57,286 --> 01:14:58,078
God.

1893
01:14:59,037 --> 01:14:59,830
I know.

1894
01:15:01,081 --> 01:15:03,292
Tell me I never have
to be out there again.

1895
01:15:07,463 --> 01:15:09,631
You will never have
to be out there again.

1896
01:15:11,550 --> 01:15:13,634
(somber music)

1897
01:15:13,635 --> 01:15:15,596
[Sally Voiceover] I'll
just say we made a mistake.

1898
01:15:16,805 --> 01:15:19,349
[Harry Voiceover]
Sally, it was a mistake.

1899
01:15:22,019 --> 01:15:24,271
[Sally Voiceover] I just
hope I get to say it first.

1900
01:15:25,481 --> 01:15:27,983
[Harry Voiceover] I hope
she says it before I do.

1901
01:15:30,944 --> 01:15:32,361
It was a mistake.

1902
01:15:32,362 --> 01:15:34,698
I am so relieved that you think so too.

1903
01:15:36,533 --> 01:15:38,452
I'm not saying last night wasn't great.

1904
01:15:39,369 --> 01:15:40,786
It was.

1905
01:15:40,787 --> 01:15:42,080
Yes, it was.

1906
01:15:43,499 --> 01:15:45,249
We just never should've done it.

1907
01:15:45,250 --> 01:15:46,418
I couldn't agree more.

1908
01:15:47,377 --> 01:15:49,629
I am so relieved.

1909
01:15:49,630 --> 01:15:50,630
Great.

1910
01:15:50,631 --> 01:15:51,631
Yeah.

1911
01:15:51,632 --> 01:15:53,842
(laughing)

1912
01:15:54,968 --> 01:15:56,762
[Waiter] Two mixed green salads.

1913
01:16:05,437 --> 01:16:07,731
(crunching)

1914
01:16:26,375 --> 01:16:28,709
It is so nice when
you can sit with someone

1915
01:16:28,710 --> 01:16:30,253
and not have to talk.

1916
01:16:30,254 --> 01:16:31,046
Hmm?

1917
01:16:35,342 --> 01:16:38,302
It's just like most of the time
you go to bed with someone,

1918
01:16:38,303 --> 01:16:39,929
she tells you all of her stories,

1919
01:16:39,930 --> 01:16:41,764
you tell her your stories.

1920
01:16:41,765 --> 01:16:44,016
But with Sally and me,

1921
01:16:44,017 --> 01:16:46,269
we've already heard each other's stories.

1922
01:16:46,270 --> 01:16:47,562
So once we went to bed,

1923
01:16:47,563 --> 01:16:50,231
we didn't know what we were
suppose to do, you know?

1924
01:16:50,232 --> 01:16:51,233
[Jess] Sure, Harry.

1925
01:16:53,318 --> 01:16:54,527
I don't know.

1926
01:16:54,528 --> 01:16:56,779
Maybe you get to a certain
point in a relationship

1927
01:16:56,780 --> 01:16:59,157
where it's just too late
to have sex, you know?

1928
01:17:10,168 --> 01:17:13,004
Is Harry bringing anyone to the wedding?

1929
01:17:13,005 --> 01:17:13,964
I don't think so.

1930
01:17:16,300 --> 01:17:18,050
Is he seeing anyone?

1931
01:17:18,051 --> 01:17:21,221
He was seeing this anthropologist but.

1932
01:17:22,723 --> 01:17:24,390
What does she look like?

1933
01:17:24,391 --> 01:17:27,101
Thin, pretty, big tits.

1934
01:17:27,102 --> 01:17:28,270
Your basic nightmare.

1935
01:17:33,317 --> 01:17:34,192
What do you think?

1936
01:17:36,612 --> 01:17:37,404
Oh, Marie.

1937
01:17:39,781 --> 01:17:40,699
Tell the truth.

1938
01:17:42,868 --> 01:17:43,910
It's just beautiful.

1939
01:17:46,163 --> 01:17:49,958
(pleasant instrumental music)

1940
01:18:16,943 --> 01:18:19,612
[Priest] We are gathered
here today to celebrate

1941
01:18:19,613 --> 01:18:22,491
the marriage of Marie and Jess,

1942
01:18:23,450 --> 01:18:26,786
and to consecrate their vows of matrimony.

1943
01:18:26,787 --> 01:18:30,498
The vows they take to join their lives,

1944
01:18:30,499 --> 01:18:32,792
the wine they will share

1945
01:18:32,793 --> 01:18:35,711
binds all their hopes together

1946
01:18:35,712 --> 01:18:38,089
and by the rings their will wear,

1947
01:18:38,090 --> 01:18:41,968
they will be known to
all as husband and wife.

1948
01:18:43,387 --> 01:18:46,348
(upbeat band music)

1949
01:18:53,855 --> 01:18:55,940
[Sally] I've never seen her so happy.

1950
01:18:55,941 --> 01:18:57,441
She's a totally different person.

1951
01:18:57,442 --> 01:18:58,984
Oh yeah, she is.

1952
01:18:58,985 --> 01:18:59,860
It's great.

1953
01:18:59,861 --> 01:19:01,363
What're we gonna do about you?

1954
01:19:02,239 --> 01:19:03,072
- Me?
- Honey?

1955
01:19:03,073 --> 01:19:04,573
- Yeah.
- Wanna dance?

1956
01:19:04,574 --> 01:19:06,325
Oh, yeah, yeah, I do.

1957
01:19:06,326 --> 01:19:07,159
Excuse us.

1958
01:19:07,160 --> 01:19:09,371
(laughing)

1959
01:19:10,664 --> 01:19:11,831
Hi.

1960
01:19:11,832 --> 01:19:12,624
Hello.

1961
01:19:17,003 --> 01:19:17,796
Nice ceremony.

1962
01:19:18,755 --> 01:19:19,548
Beautiful.

1963
01:19:22,718 --> 01:19:24,051
Boy the holidays are rough.

1964
01:19:24,052 --> 01:19:25,219
Every year I just try to get from

1965
01:19:25,220 --> 01:19:28,055
the day before Thanksgiving
to the day after New Years.

1966
01:19:28,056 --> 01:19:29,557
A lot of suicides.

1967
01:19:29,558 --> 01:19:30,350
Hmmm.

1968
01:19:31,601 --> 01:19:33,436
[Man] Would you like
a pea pod with a shrimp?

1969
01:19:33,437 --> 01:19:34,229
Thank you.

1970
01:19:36,064 --> 01:19:36,897
How've you been?

1971
01:19:36,898 --> 01:19:37,691
Fine.

1972
01:19:38,900 --> 01:19:40,276
Are you seeing anybody?

1973
01:19:40,277 --> 01:19:41,360
- Harry?
- What?

1974
01:19:41,361 --> 01:19:42,528
I don't wanna talk about this.

1975
01:19:42,529 --> 01:19:43,362
Why not?

1976
01:19:43,363 --> 01:19:45,449
I don't want to talk about it.

1977
01:19:46,450 --> 01:19:48,325
Why can't we get past this?

1978
01:19:48,326 --> 01:19:50,870
I mean, are we gonna carry
this thing around forever?

1979
01:19:50,871 --> 01:19:52,663
Forever, it just happened.

1980
01:19:52,664 --> 01:19:55,458
It happened three weeks ago.

1981
01:19:55,459 --> 01:19:56,500
You know how a year to a person

1982
01:19:56,501 --> 01:19:58,086
is like seven years to a dog?

1983
01:19:59,379 --> 01:20:00,172
Yes.

1984
01:20:03,508 --> 01:20:06,802
Is one of us supposed to
be a dog in this scenario?

1985
01:20:06,803 --> 01:20:08,137
Yes.

1986
01:20:08,138 --> 01:20:09,472
Who is the dog?

1987
01:20:09,473 --> 01:20:10,639
You are.

1988
01:20:10,640 --> 01:20:11,766
I am?

1989
01:20:11,767 --> 01:20:12,808
- I am the dog.
- Mhmm.

1990
01:20:12,809 --> 01:20:13,602
I am the dog.

1991
01:20:21,318 --> 01:20:22,318
I don't see that, Harry.

1992
01:20:22,319 --> 01:20:24,195
If anybody is the dog, you are the dog.

1993
01:20:24,196 --> 01:20:26,530
You want to act like what
happened didn't mean anything.

1994
01:20:26,531 --> 01:20:27,948
I'm not saying it didn't mean anything.

1995
01:20:27,949 --> 01:20:29,909
I am saying, why does it
have to mean everything?

1996
01:20:29,910 --> 01:20:31,202
Because it does!

1997
01:20:31,203 --> 01:20:32,828
And you should know
that better than anybody

1998
01:20:32,829 --> 01:20:33,996
because the minute that it happened,

1999
01:20:33,997 --> 01:20:35,331
you walked right out the door.

2000
01:20:35,332 --> 01:20:36,332
I didn't walk out.

2001
01:20:36,333 --> 01:20:38,375
No, sprinted is more like it.

2002
01:20:38,376 --> 01:20:39,752
We both agreed it was a mistake!

2003
01:20:39,753 --> 01:20:41,713
[Sally] The worst mistake I ever made!

2004
01:20:43,632 --> 01:20:44,465
What do you want from me?

2005
01:20:44,466 --> 01:20:45,883
I don't want anything from you!

2006
01:20:45,884 --> 01:20:46,717
Fine, Fine!

2007
01:20:46,718 --> 01:20:47,968
But let's just get one thing straight.

2008
01:20:47,969 --> 01:20:50,054
I did not go over there that
night to make love to you,

2009
01:20:50,055 --> 01:20:51,680
that is not why I went there.

2010
01:20:51,681 --> 01:20:53,432
But you looked up at me
with these big weepy eyes.

2011
01:20:53,433 --> 01:20:54,558
"Don't go home tonight, Harry.

2012
01:20:54,559 --> 01:20:55,893
"Hold me a little longer, Harry."

2013
01:20:55,894 --> 01:20:57,603
What was I supposed to do?

2014
01:20:57,604 --> 01:20:59,897
What are you saying,
you took pity on me?

2015
01:20:59,898 --> 01:21:00,731
No, I was--

2016
01:21:00,732 --> 01:21:01,565
Fuck you!

2017
01:21:01,566 --> 01:21:03,526
(smacking)

2018
01:21:03,527 --> 01:21:06,070
(triumphant band music)

2019
01:21:06,071 --> 01:21:09,281
Everybody, could I have
your attention please?

2020
01:21:09,282 --> 01:21:13,828
I'd like to propose a
toast to Harry and Sally.

2021
01:21:13,829 --> 01:21:15,621
To Harry and Sally,

2022
01:21:15,622 --> 01:21:20,292
if Marie or I had found either
of them remotely attractive,

2023
01:21:20,293 --> 01:21:22,127
we would not be here today.

2024
01:21:22,128 --> 01:21:24,506
(applauding)

2025
01:21:32,514 --> 01:21:34,306
♪ Have yourself ♪

2026
01:21:34,307 --> 01:21:38,060
♪ A merry little Christmas ♪

2027
01:21:38,061 --> 01:21:42,314
♪ Let yourself be light ♪

2028
01:21:42,315 --> 01:21:47,279
♪ From now on, our troubles
will be out of sight ♪

2029
01:21:52,534 --> 01:21:57,371
♪ Have yourself a merry little Christmas ♪

2030
01:21:57,372 --> 01:22:02,334
♪ Make the Yuletide gay ♪

2031
01:22:02,335 --> 01:22:07,299
♪ From now on, our troubles
will be miles away ♪

2032
01:22:10,135 --> 01:22:11,594
Hi, it's me.

2033
01:22:11,595 --> 01:22:13,596
It's is the holiday season
and I thought I'd remind you

2034
01:22:13,597 --> 01:22:16,724
that this is the season of
charity and forgiveness.

2035
01:22:16,725 --> 01:22:18,642
And although it's not widely known,

2036
01:22:18,643 --> 01:22:21,395
it is also the season of groveling.

2037
01:22:21,396 --> 01:22:23,981
So if you felt like calling me back,

2038
01:22:23,982 --> 01:22:25,399
I'd be more than happy to do

2039
01:22:25,400 --> 01:22:27,068
the traditional Christmas grovel.

2040
01:22:28,111 --> 01:22:29,321
Give me a call.

2041
01:22:42,500 --> 01:22:45,128
(phone ringing)

2042
01:22:46,129 --> 01:22:47,087
[Sally On Answering Machine]
Hi, I'm not home right now.

2043
01:22:47,088 --> 01:22:47,922
Call you right back.

2044
01:22:47,923 --> 01:22:48,964
(answering machine beeping)

2045
01:22:48,965 --> 01:22:50,591
If you're there,
please pick up the phone,

2046
01:22:50,592 --> 01:22:51,885
I really wanna talk to you.

2047
01:22:55,639 --> 01:22:57,765
The fact that you're not
answering leads me to believe

2048
01:22:57,766 --> 01:23:00,351
you're either A, not at home,

2049
01:23:00,352 --> 01:23:03,062
B, home but don't want to talk to me

2050
01:23:03,063 --> 01:23:05,856
or C, home, desperately want to talk to me

2051
01:23:05,857 --> 01:23:07,525
but trapped under something heavy.

2052
01:23:08,568 --> 01:23:10,654
If it's either A or C,
please call me back.

2053
01:23:13,990 --> 01:23:15,908
Obviously, she doesn't want to talk to me.

2054
01:23:15,909 --> 01:23:18,118
What do I have to do,
be hit over the head?

2055
01:23:18,119 --> 01:23:19,370
If she wants to call me she'll call me.

2056
01:23:19,371 --> 01:23:22,539
I'm through making a
schmuck out of myself.

2057
01:23:22,540 --> 01:23:25,918
♪ If you're feeling sad and lonely ♪

2058
01:23:25,919 --> 01:23:29,421
♪ There's a service I can render ♪

2059
01:23:29,422 --> 01:23:32,383
♪ Tell the one who digs you only ♪

2060
01:23:32,384 --> 01:23:35,761
♪ I can be so warm and tender ♪

2061
01:23:35,762 --> 01:23:40,725
♪ Call me, maybe it's
late so just, call me ♪

2062
01:23:40,976 --> 01:23:44,979
♪ Don't be afraid to just, phone moi ♪

2063
01:23:44,980 --> 01:23:49,108
♪ Call me and I'll be around ♪

2064
01:23:49,109 --> 01:23:49,942
Give me a call.

2065
01:23:49,943 --> 01:23:51,527
[Sally] Hi, Harry.

2066
01:23:51,528 --> 01:23:53,153
Hello, hi, hi.

2067
01:23:53,154 --> 01:23:56,115
I didn't know that you were there.

2068
01:23:56,116 --> 01:23:57,324
What're you doing?

2069
01:23:57,325 --> 01:23:59,076
I was just on my way out.

2070
01:23:59,077 --> 01:24:00,120
[Harry] Where are you going?

2071
01:24:01,705 --> 01:24:03,247
What do you want, Harry?

2072
01:24:03,248 --> 01:24:04,331
Nothing, nothing.

2073
01:24:04,332 --> 01:24:07,127
I just called to say I'm sorry.

2074
01:24:09,587 --> 01:24:10,380
Okay.

2075
01:24:18,430 --> 01:24:19,638
I gotta go.

2076
01:24:19,639 --> 01:24:21,224
Wait a second, wait a second.

2077
01:24:22,183 --> 01:24:23,600
What're you doing for New Years?

2078
01:24:23,601 --> 01:24:24,852
Are you going to the Tyler's party?

2079
01:24:24,853 --> 01:24:26,603
'Cause I don't have a date

2080
01:24:26,604 --> 01:24:27,438
and if you don't have a date,

2081
01:24:27,439 --> 01:24:29,898
we always said that if
neither one of us had a date,

2082
01:24:29,899 --> 01:24:32,901
we could be together
for New Years, you know?

2083
01:24:32,902 --> 01:24:36,739
I can't do this anymore, I
am not your consolation prize.

2084
01:24:36,740 --> 01:24:37,490
Goodbye.

2085
01:24:39,743 --> 01:24:42,662
(dial tone buzzing)

2086
01:24:47,417 --> 01:24:49,626
And here we are, once again.

2087
01:24:49,627 --> 01:24:52,588
The 16th annual New Year Rockin' Eve

2088
01:24:52,589 --> 01:24:54,590
coming to you live from the--

2089
01:24:54,591 --> 01:24:56,633
[Harry Voiceover]
What's so bad about this?

2090
01:24:56,634 --> 01:24:58,802
You got Dick Clark, that's tradition.

2091
01:24:58,803 --> 01:25:01,430
You got Mallomars, the
greatest cookie of all time.

2092
01:25:01,431 --> 01:25:02,639
And you're about to give the Knicks

2093
01:25:02,640 --> 01:25:05,392
their first championship since 1973.

2094
01:25:05,393 --> 01:25:08,605
(television commotion)

2095
01:25:10,315 --> 01:25:12,274
("Don't Get Around Much
Anymore" by Harry Connick Jr.)

2096
01:25:12,275 --> 01:25:15,819
♪ Missed the Saturday dance ♪

2097
01:25:15,820 --> 01:25:19,281
♪ Heard they crowded the floor ♪

2098
01:25:19,282 --> 01:25:24,161
♪ Oh, I'm lonesome without you ♪

2099
01:25:24,162 --> 01:25:28,707
I don't know why I let
you drag me into this.

2100
01:25:28,708 --> 01:25:30,709
(somber piano music)

2101
01:25:30,710 --> 01:25:32,169
[Harry Voiceover] This is much better.

2102
01:25:32,170 --> 01:25:35,547
Fresh air, I have the
streets all to myself.

2103
01:25:35,548 --> 01:25:37,299
Who needs to be at a big, crowded party

2104
01:25:37,300 --> 01:25:39,551
pretending to have a good time?

2105
01:25:39,552 --> 01:25:40,677
Plus this is the perfect time

2106
01:25:40,678 --> 01:25:42,347
to catch up on my window shopping.

2107
01:25:43,598 --> 01:25:44,765
This is good.

2108
01:25:44,766 --> 01:25:47,477
(woman giggling)

2109
01:25:53,441 --> 01:25:56,860
(pleasant music)

2110
01:25:56,861 --> 01:26:00,364
So the guy says, "Read the card."

2111
01:26:00,365 --> 01:26:02,741
(laughing)

2112
01:26:02,742 --> 01:26:06,578
Oh.
(laughing)

2113
01:26:06,579 --> 01:26:07,996
Yeah.

2114
01:26:07,997 --> 01:26:09,998
(laughing)

2115
01:26:09,999 --> 01:26:11,041
I'm going home.

2116
01:26:11,042 --> 01:26:12,501
You'll never get a taxi.

2117
01:26:12,502 --> 01:26:14,336
(laughing)

2118
01:26:14,337 --> 01:26:17,214
Oh, God.

2119
01:26:17,215 --> 01:26:20,260
(somber piano music)

2120
01:26:43,074 --> 01:26:43,907
[Harry Voiceover]
You realize, of course,

2121
01:26:43,908 --> 01:26:45,742
that we can never be friends.

2122
01:26:45,743 --> 01:26:46,994
[Sally Voiceover] Why not?

2123
01:26:46,995 --> 01:26:48,036
[Harry Voiceover] What I'm saying

2124
01:26:48,037 --> 01:26:49,746
is that men and women can't be friends

2125
01:26:49,747 --> 01:26:52,207
because the sex part
always gets in the way.

2126
01:26:52,208 --> 01:26:53,458
[Sally Voiceover] That's not true.

2127
01:26:53,459 --> 01:26:54,626
[Harry Voiceover] No man can be friends

2128
01:26:54,627 --> 01:26:56,170
with a woman he finds attractive.

2129
01:26:56,171 --> 01:26:58,297
He always wants to have sex with her.

2130
01:26:58,298 --> 01:26:59,131
[Sally Voiceover] What if they

2131
01:26:59,132 --> 01:27:00,382
don't wanna have sex with you?

2132
01:27:00,383 --> 01:27:01,216
[Harry Voiceover] Doesn't matter

2133
01:27:01,217 --> 01:27:02,634
because the sex thing
is already out there,

2134
01:27:02,635 --> 01:27:04,178
so the friendship is ultimately doomed

2135
01:27:04,179 --> 01:27:05,805
and that is the end of the story.

2136
01:27:06,973 --> 01:27:07,806
[Sally Voiceover]
Well, I guess we're not

2137
01:27:07,807 --> 01:27:08,640
gonna be friends then.

2138
01:27:08,641 --> 01:27:09,892
[Harry Voiceover] Guess not.

2139
01:27:09,893 --> 01:27:11,727
[Sally Voiceover] It's too bad.

2140
01:27:11,728 --> 01:27:14,230
Because you were the only
person that I knew in New York.

2141
01:27:16,566 --> 01:27:18,567
(somber piano music)

2142
01:27:18,568 --> 01:27:23,531
♪ It had to be you ♪

2143
01:27:27,577 --> 01:27:32,540
♪ It had to be you ♪

2144
01:27:35,043 --> 01:27:38,003
♪ I wandered around ♪

2145
01:27:38,004 --> 01:27:42,132
♪ And I finally found ♪
(laughing)

2146
01:27:42,133 --> 01:27:47,096
♪ The somebody who ♪

2147
01:27:49,432 --> 01:27:54,395
♪ Would make me be true ♪

2148
01:27:55,772 --> 01:28:00,735
♪ And could make me be blue ♪

2149
01:28:01,444 --> 01:28:03,237
[Sally] I'm going.

2150
01:28:03,238 --> 01:28:04,905
It's almost midnight.

2151
01:28:04,906 --> 01:28:07,574
Well, the thought of not
kissing somebody is just--

2152
01:28:07,575 --> 01:28:08,660
[Jess] I'll kiss you.

2153
01:28:09,953 --> 01:28:11,161
Hey, taxi!

2154
01:28:11,162 --> 01:28:13,205
Taxi!

2155
01:28:13,206 --> 01:28:15,750
(horn honking)

2156
01:28:17,293 --> 01:28:19,628
Come on, stay, please.

2157
01:28:19,629 --> 01:28:21,129
Thanks, Jess, I just have to go.

2158
01:28:21,130 --> 01:28:23,090
Oh, wait two minutes.

2159
01:28:23,091 --> 01:28:24,758
I'll call you tomorrow.

2160
01:28:24,759 --> 01:28:29,722
♪ Might never be mean ♪

2161
01:28:32,225 --> 01:28:36,103
♪ Might never be cross ♪

2162
01:28:36,104 --> 01:28:40,274
♪ Or try to be boss ♪

2163
01:28:40,275 --> 01:28:45,238
♪ But they wouldn't do ♪

2164
01:28:47,198 --> 01:28:51,285
♪ For nobody else ♪

2165
01:28:51,286 --> 01:28:55,914
♪ Gave me a thrill ♪

2166
01:28:55,915 --> 01:28:58,583
♪ With all your thoughts ♪

2167
01:28:58,584 --> 01:29:01,753
♪ I love you still ♪

2168
01:29:01,754 --> 01:29:04,339
♪ It had to be you ♪

2169
01:29:04,340 --> 01:29:06,133
I've been doing a lot of thinking

2170
01:29:06,134 --> 01:29:07,635
and the thing is, I love you.

2171
01:29:08,678 --> 01:29:09,886
What?

2172
01:29:09,887 --> 01:29:10,680
I love you.

2173
01:29:11,806 --> 01:29:14,349
How do you expect me to respond to this?

2174
01:29:14,350 --> 01:29:15,685
How about you love me too?

2175
01:29:16,936 --> 01:29:18,312
How about, I'm leaving?

2176
01:29:18,313 --> 01:29:20,689
Doesn't what I said
mean anything to you?

2177
01:29:20,690 --> 01:29:22,024
I'm sorry, Harry,

2178
01:29:22,025 --> 01:29:23,442
I know it's New Years Eve,
(crowd counting down)

2179
01:29:23,443 --> 01:29:24,818
I know you're feeling lonely
(crowd counting down)

2180
01:29:24,819 --> 01:29:27,612
but you just can't show up
here, tell me you love me

2181
01:29:27,613 --> 01:29:30,157
and expect that to make
everything all right.

2182
01:29:30,158 --> 01:29:31,783
It doesn't work this way.

2183
01:29:31,784 --> 01:29:33,285
Well how does it work?

2184
01:29:33,286 --> 01:29:34,578
I don't know
(crowd cheering)

2185
01:29:34,579 --> 01:29:36,330
but not this way.
(crowd cheering)

2186
01:29:36,331 --> 01:29:37,789
How about this way?

2187
01:29:37,790 --> 01:29:40,500
I love that you get cold
when it's 71 degrees out.

2188
01:29:40,501 --> 01:29:41,376
I love that it takes you

2189
01:29:41,377 --> 01:29:43,378
an hour and a half to order a sandwich.

2190
01:29:43,379 --> 01:29:45,255
I love that you get a little
crinkle above your nose

2191
01:29:45,256 --> 01:29:46,798
when you're looking at me like I'm nuts.

2192
01:29:46,799 --> 01:29:48,717
I love that after I spend a day with you

2193
01:29:48,718 --> 01:29:50,844
I can still smell your
perfume on my clothes

2194
01:29:50,845 --> 01:29:53,764
and I love that you are the
last person I want to talk to

2195
01:29:53,765 --> 01:29:55,640
before I go to sleep at night.

2196
01:29:55,641 --> 01:29:57,434
And it's not because I'm lonely

2197
01:29:57,435 --> 01:29:59,478
and it's not because it's New Years Eve.

2198
01:29:59,479 --> 01:30:01,521
I came here tonight
because when you realize

2199
01:30:01,522 --> 01:30:03,899
you want to spend the rest
of your life with somebody,

2200
01:30:03,900 --> 01:30:06,860
you want the rest of the life
to start as soon as possible.

2201
01:30:06,861 --> 01:30:09,739
("Auld Lang Syne")

2202
01:30:10,698 --> 01:30:11,491
You see?

2203
01:30:13,493 --> 01:30:15,494
That is just like you, Harry.

2204
01:30:15,495 --> 01:30:17,537
You say things like that and you make it

2205
01:30:17,538 --> 01:30:19,832
impossible for me to hate you!

2206
01:30:21,042 --> 01:30:22,627
And I hate you Harry.

2207
01:30:25,046 --> 01:30:26,255
I really hate you.

2208
01:30:31,302 --> 01:30:32,469
I hate you.

2209
01:30:32,470 --> 01:30:37,392
♪ For auld lang syne ♪

2210
01:30:39,560 --> 01:30:44,482
♪ We'll take a cup of kindness yet ♪

2211
01:30:46,526 --> 01:30:50,404
♪ For auld lang syne ♪

2212
01:30:50,405 --> 01:30:51,822
What does this song mean?

2213
01:30:51,823 --> 01:30:53,573
My whole life, I don't
know what this song means.

2214
01:30:53,574 --> 01:30:55,826
I mean, "Should old
acquaintance be forgot."

2215
01:30:55,827 --> 01:30:57,661
Does that mean we should
forget old acquaintances

2216
01:30:57,662 --> 01:30:59,287
or does it mean if we
happen to forget them

2217
01:30:59,288 --> 01:31:00,122
we should remember them,

2218
01:31:00,123 --> 01:31:02,791
which is not possible because
we already forgot them?

2219
01:31:02,792 --> 01:31:04,584
Well maybe it just means that

2220
01:31:04,585 --> 01:31:07,171
we should remember that we
forgot them or something.

2221
01:31:10,007 --> 01:31:12,342
Anyway, it's about old friends.

2222
01:31:12,343 --> 01:31:14,803
♪ Be forgot ♪

2223
01:31:14,804 --> 01:31:19,767
♪ and days of old lang syne ♪

2224
01:31:20,184 --> 01:31:21,017
[Harry Voiceover] The first time we met

2225
01:31:21,018 --> 01:31:22,477
we hated each other.

2226
01:31:22,478 --> 01:31:25,105
[Sally Voiceover] No, you
didn't hate me, I hated you.

2227
01:31:25,106 --> 01:31:27,441
The second time we met, you
didn't even remember me.

2228
01:31:27,442 --> 01:31:29,568
[Harry Voiceover] I did
too, I remembered you.

2229
01:31:29,569 --> 01:31:32,612
The the third time we
met, we became friends.

2230
01:31:32,613 --> 01:31:34,156
[Sally Voiceover] We were
friends for a long time.

2231
01:31:34,157 --> 01:31:36,199
[Harry Voiceover] And then we weren't.

2232
01:31:36,200 --> 01:31:37,785
And then we fell in love.

2233
01:31:38,911 --> 01:31:40,745
Three months later, we got married.

2234
01:31:40,746 --> 01:31:42,706
It only took three months.

2235
01:31:42,707 --> 01:31:44,499
12 years and three months.

2236
01:31:44,500 --> 01:31:46,668
We had a really wonderful wedding.

2237
01:31:46,669 --> 01:31:48,503
It was a, it really
was a beautiful wedding.

2238
01:31:48,504 --> 01:31:51,089
We had this enormous coconut cake.

2239
01:31:51,090 --> 01:31:52,466
A huge coconut cake

2240
01:31:52,467 --> 01:31:54,759
with the tiers and there was this

2241
01:31:54,760 --> 01:31:56,928
very rich chocolate sauce on the side.

2242
01:31:56,929 --> 01:31:59,139
Right because not everybody
likes it on the cake

2243
01:31:59,140 --> 01:32:00,515
because it makes it very soggy.

2244
01:32:00,516 --> 01:32:01,641
Particularly the coconut,

2245
01:32:01,642 --> 01:32:02,976
soaks up a lot of that
stuff, so you really,

2246
01:32:02,977 --> 01:32:04,811
it's important to keep it on the side.

2247
01:32:04,812 --> 01:32:05,645
Right.

2248
01:32:05,646 --> 01:32:10,817
♪ It had to be you ♪

2249
01:32:10,818 --> 01:32:13,695
♪ I wandered around and finally found ♪

2250
01:32:13,696 --> 01:32:16,114
♪ The somebody who ♪

2251
01:32:16,115 --> 01:32:18,742
♪ Could make me be true ♪

2252
01:32:18,743 --> 01:32:21,328
♪ Could make me be blue ♪

2253
01:32:21,329 --> 01:32:24,164
♪ And even be glad just to be sad ♪

2254
01:32:24,165 --> 01:32:27,167
♪ Thinking of you ♪

2255
01:32:27,168 --> 01:32:30,086
♪ You say "either" and I say "either" ♪

2256
01:32:30,087 --> 01:32:32,672
♪ You say "neither," I say "neither" ♪

2257
01:32:32,673 --> 01:32:35,300
♪ "Either," "either",
"neither," "neither" ♪

2258
01:32:35,301 --> 01:32:38,053
♪ Let's call the whole thing off ♪

2259
01:32:38,054 --> 01:32:40,597
♪ You say "potato" and I say "patattah" ♪

2260
01:32:40,598 --> 01:32:43,141
♪ You say "tomato," I say "tomatah" ♪

2261
01:32:43,142 --> 01:32:45,852
♪ "Potato," "patattah,"
"tomato," "tamatah" ♪

2262
01:32:45,853 --> 01:32:48,647
♪ Let's call the whole thing off ♪

2263
01:32:48,648 --> 01:32:51,691
♪ Oh, if we call the whole thing off ♪

2264
01:32:51,692 --> 01:32:53,818
♪ Then we must part ♪

2265
01:32:53,819 --> 01:32:56,530
♪ And though, if we ever part ♪

2266
01:32:56,531 --> 01:32:59,199
♪ That would break my heart ♪

2267
01:32:59,200 --> 01:33:01,785
♪ You say "lever," I say "lover" ♪

2268
01:33:01,786 --> 01:33:04,412
♪ You say "either," I say "other" ♪

2269
01:33:04,413 --> 01:33:06,748
♪ For we know, we need each other so ♪

2270
01:33:06,749 --> 01:33:09,793
♪ We'd better call off, call off ♪

2271
01:33:09,794 --> 01:33:10,961
♪ Let's ♪

2272
01:33:10,962 --> 01:33:11,920
♪ Call it off ♪

2273
01:33:11,921 --> 01:33:13,547
♪ Oh, let's ♪

2274
01:33:13,548 --> 01:33:14,422
♪ Call it off ♪

2275
01:33:14,423 --> 01:33:16,049
♪ Baby, let's ♪

2276
01:33:16,050 --> 01:33:17,092
♪ Call it off ♪

2277
01:33:17,093 --> 01:33:20,345
♪ Sugar, why don't we ♪

2278
01:33:20,346 --> 01:33:21,596
♪ Let's ♪

2279
01:33:21,597 --> 01:33:23,473
♪ Let's call the whole thing ♪

2280
01:33:23,474 --> 01:33:26,519
(upbeat piano music)

2281
01:34:06,058 --> 01:34:08,518
♪ They're writing songs of love ♪

2282
01:34:08,519 --> 01:34:11,146
♪ But not for me ♪

2283
01:34:11,147 --> 01:34:13,773
♪ A lucky star's above ♪

2284
01:34:13,774 --> 01:34:16,276
♪ But not for me ♪

2285
01:34:16,277 --> 01:34:19,070
♪ With love to lead the way ♪

2286
01:34:19,071 --> 01:34:21,573
♪ I've found more clouds of gray ♪

2287
01:34:21,574 --> 01:34:24,284
♪ Than any Russian play ♪

2288
01:34:24,285 --> 01:34:26,953
♪ Could guarantee ♪

2289
01:34:26,954 --> 01:34:29,664
♪ I was a fool to fall ♪

2290
01:34:29,665 --> 01:34:32,167
♪ And get that way ♪

2291
01:34:32,168 --> 01:34:34,294
♪ Hi ho, alas ♪

2292
01:34:34,295 --> 01:34:37,589
♪ And also, lackaday ♪

2293
01:34:37,590 --> 01:34:40,467
♪ Although I can't dismiss ♪

2294
01:34:40,468 --> 01:34:43,136
♪ The memory of her kiss ♪

2295
01:34:43,137 --> 01:34:46,389
♪ I guess she's not ♪

2296
01:34:46,390 --> 01:34:48,975
♪ For ♪

2297
01:34:48,976 --> 01:34:49,476
♪ Me ♪

2298
01:34:53,522 --> 01:34:58,735
♪ It had to be you ♪

2299
01:34:58,736 --> 01:35:01,447
(exciting music)

2300
01:35:04,075 --> 01:35:06,826
♪ For nobody else gave me a thrill ♪

2301
01:35:06,827 --> 01:35:09,412
♪ With all your faults, I love you still ♪

2302
01:35:09,413 --> 01:35:11,998
♪ It had to be you, wonderful you ♪

2303
01:35:11,999 --> 01:35:16,420
♪ It had to be you ♪