1 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today 2 00:01:04,040 --> 00:01:06,042 (SURRENDER PLAYING) 3 00:01:17,960 --> 00:01:19,380 Mother told me 4 00:01:19,480 --> 00:01:21,740 Yes, she told me 5 00:01:21,840 --> 00:01:24,820 That I'd meet girls like you 6 00:01:24,920 --> 00:01:26,460 She also told me 7 00:01:26,560 --> 00:01:31,043 Stay away You'll never know what you'll catch 8 00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:34,206 (TIRES SCREECHING) 9 00:01:35,560 --> 00:01:36,740 Cooper, it's open. 10 00:01:36,840 --> 00:01:37,780 It's open? 11 00:01:37,880 --> 00:01:38,927 Come on! 12 00:01:40,640 --> 00:01:42,165 It's supposed to be awesome. 13 00:01:42,920 --> 00:01:46,660 - COOPER: Thank you. - Hey, give me back my quarters, you hoser! 14 00:01:46,760 --> 00:01:48,125 Mom! 15 00:01:49,880 --> 00:01:52,860 They just seem a little weird 16 00:01:52,960 --> 00:01:56,740 Surrender, surrender 17 00:01:56,840 --> 00:02:02,370 But don't give yourself away 18 00:02:20,200 --> 00:02:23,900 Whatever happened to all this season's 19 00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:26,082 Losers of the year? 20 00:02:27,280 --> 00:02:30,900 Every time I got to thinking 21 00:02:31,000 --> 00:02:34,340 Where'd they disappear? 22 00:02:34,440 --> 00:02:37,540 But when I woke up, Mom and Dad 23 00:02:37,640 --> 00:02:42,140 Are rolling on the couch 24 00:02:42,240 --> 00:02:43,241 Damn. 25 00:02:44,440 --> 00:02:45,441 What? 26 00:02:47,640 --> 00:02:48,721 I suck. 27 00:02:49,080 --> 00:02:51,980 Mommy's all right, daddy's all right 28 00:02:52,080 --> 00:02:56,700 They just seem a little weird 29 00:02:56,800 --> 00:02:57,801 COOPER: Wow, Sam. 30 00:02:58,440 --> 00:03:02,380 How are you so good at this? You've never even played it before. 31 00:03:02,480 --> 00:03:03,606 I don't know. 32 00:03:04,520 --> 00:03:06,887 There's a pattern to how they're moving. Watch. 33 00:03:09,880 --> 00:03:12,645 I don't see it, but you sure as hell do. 34 00:03:16,680 --> 00:03:19,126 Away 35 00:03:24,400 --> 00:03:27,700 Surrender, surrender 36 00:03:27,800 --> 00:03:31,700 But don't give yourself away 37 00:03:31,800 --> 00:03:34,660 Surrender, surrender 38 00:03:34,760 --> 00:03:37,860 But don't give yourself away 39 00:03:37,960 --> 00:03:41,487 - Use the Force. Use the Force. - (MECHANICAL HAND WHIRRING) 40 00:03:44,560 --> 00:03:46,642 (CHEERING) 41 00:03:49,640 --> 00:03:50,880 BRENNER: Hey, Chewie. 42 00:03:51,000 --> 00:03:52,500 COOPER: You're a superstar, dude. 43 00:03:52,600 --> 00:03:54,409 And it's time to show the world. 44 00:03:54,520 --> 00:03:56,100 Surrender 45 00:03:56,200 --> 00:03:59,900 But don't give yourself away 46 00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:03,322 Surrender, surrender 47 00:04:03,440 --> 00:04:07,220 But don't give yourself away 48 00:04:07,320 --> 00:04:08,860 MAN: (ON PA SYSTEM) Attention, all contestants. 49 00:04:08,960 --> 00:04:11,566 The competition will start in 15 minutes. 50 00:04:12,800 --> 00:04:16,122 You too? That's so funny. 51 00:04:17,800 --> 00:04:18,881 Really? 52 00:04:19,160 --> 00:04:22,084 I think you're pretty darn foxy yourself. 53 00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:29,922 Lady Lisa, I'll love you till the end of time. 54 00:04:30,040 --> 00:04:31,980 - Who are you talking to? - Nobody! 55 00:04:32,080 --> 00:04:33,140 (SOFTLY) We'll talk later. 56 00:04:33,240 --> 00:04:35,580 You're Ludlow Lamonsoff, the Wonder Kid, right? 57 00:04:35,680 --> 00:04:37,900 Who told you that? The government? 58 00:04:38,000 --> 00:04:41,368 'Cause I'm this close to figuring out the secret of the Bermuda Triangle. 59 00:04:41,840 --> 00:04:43,940 Wow, you don't have any friends, do you? 60 00:04:44,040 --> 00:04:45,610 Just my grandma. 61 00:04:46,080 --> 00:04:47,081 Yoo-hoo! 62 00:04:48,880 --> 00:04:51,281 Well, Wonder Kid, you can hang out with us. 63 00:04:51,640 --> 00:04:53,051 - Really? - (PEOPLE EXCLAIMING) 64 00:04:56,080 --> 00:04:58,460 What's up, geeks and goobers? 65 00:04:58,560 --> 00:05:00,900 They call me the Fire Blaster! 66 00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:02,940 'Cause my hands are blazing fast, 67 00:05:03,040 --> 00:05:07,364 and also I will blast and burn all my competitors' weak-ass moves. 68 00:05:13,560 --> 00:05:15,580 You must be the local talent. 69 00:05:15,680 --> 00:05:19,241 If this was a fugly contest, I'd be in trouble. 70 00:05:19,560 --> 00:05:21,620 At least we didn't make up our own nicknames, Fire Blaster. 71 00:05:21,720 --> 00:05:23,740 Who cares who came up with it? 72 00:05:23,840 --> 00:05:25,740 It's totally tubular. 73 00:05:25,840 --> 00:05:29,460 Welcome, gamers, to the first annual 74 00:05:29,560 --> 00:05:33,100 Worldwide Video Arcade Championships! 75 00:05:33,200 --> 00:05:34,620 (CHEERING) 76 00:05:34,720 --> 00:05:38,980 Tonight, we have representatives here from the Guinness Book of World Records, 77 00:05:39,080 --> 00:05:42,460 as well as NASA, the National Aeronautics and Space Administration, 78 00:05:42,560 --> 00:05:44,980 who will be videotaping tonight's competition 79 00:05:45,080 --> 00:05:49,369 to be included in a compilation of 1982's news events and popular culture. 80 00:05:49,720 --> 00:05:53,060 That videotape will be placed in a space probe 81 00:05:53,160 --> 00:05:56,220 which will be launched by NASA into our solar system 82 00:05:56,320 --> 00:05:59,380 with the hope of connecting to, and perhaps providing a message for 83 00:05:59,480 --> 00:06:02,450 extraterrestrial life, should it exist. 84 00:06:02,560 --> 00:06:03,900 Oh, it exists. 85 00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:06,100 Ladies and gentlemen, 86 00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:09,249 start your gaming! 87 00:06:11,200 --> 00:06:12,531 (GAME BEEPING) 88 00:06:14,800 --> 00:06:15,801 (CONTROLLER CLICKING) 89 00:06:20,560 --> 00:06:23,660 All right, ladies and gentlemen, what an evening we have had here. 90 00:06:23,760 --> 00:06:26,420 Six new US records set. 91 00:06:26,520 --> 00:06:28,980 - Three new world records set. - Oh, yeah. 92 00:06:29,080 --> 00:06:34,580 And, as the smoke clears, right now we have a tie. 93 00:06:34,680 --> 00:06:36,523 - Two hundred and fifty-nine points - (CHEERING) 94 00:06:36,640 --> 00:06:39,380 for your new Pac-Man world champion. 95 00:06:39,480 --> 00:06:41,767 The Fire Blaster, Eddie Plant! 96 00:06:42,520 --> 00:06:44,340 - (CHEERING) - GIRL: Go, Fire Blaster! 97 00:06:44,440 --> 00:06:46,220 And 259 points 98 00:06:46,320 --> 00:06:49,980 for your new Galaga Centipede world champion, rookie sensation, 99 00:06:50,080 --> 00:06:51,730 Sam Brenner! 100 00:06:52,480 --> 00:06:54,369 - (CHEERING) - Yeah, Sam! 101 00:06:56,960 --> 00:06:59,740 Well, gentlemen, how 'bout we break this tie. 102 00:06:59,840 --> 00:07:00,860 Let's play 103 00:07:00,960 --> 00:07:03,281 Donkey Kong! 104 00:07:07,520 --> 00:07:09,700 - Good luck, man. - Thanks. 105 00:07:09,800 --> 00:07:12,041 You have the patterns down pretty good with these games. 106 00:07:12,160 --> 00:07:13,764 You're gonna be tough to beat. 107 00:07:15,680 --> 00:07:16,681 (COIN DROPS) 108 00:07:18,080 --> 00:07:20,970 (WE WILL ROCK YOU VONLICHTEN PLAYING) 109 00:07:23,920 --> 00:07:26,140 Buddy you're a boy make a big noise 110 00:07:26,240 --> 00:07:29,340 Playing in the street gonna be a big man some day 111 00:07:29,440 --> 00:07:31,980 You got mud on your face You big disgrace 112 00:07:32,080 --> 00:07:34,900 Kickin' your can all over the place 113 00:07:35,000 --> 00:07:41,300 - Singin' - We will, we will rock you 114 00:07:41,400 --> 00:07:45,644 We will, we will rock you 115 00:07:51,080 --> 00:07:53,048 You see, the thing about Donkey Kong is, 116 00:07:53,160 --> 00:07:57,006 at the higher levels the barrels become more random, possessed almost. 117 00:07:57,120 --> 00:07:59,740 And playing by the patterns doesn't do the trick anymore. 118 00:07:59,840 --> 00:08:01,100 Does it, Brenner? 119 00:08:01,200 --> 00:08:05,364 We will, we will rock you 120 00:08:21,280 --> 00:08:22,327 Congratulations. 121 00:08:24,600 --> 00:08:26,921 On coming in second! 122 00:08:27,440 --> 00:08:28,441 (CROWD CHEERING) 123 00:08:31,000 --> 00:08:33,020 Fire Blaster is the world champ! 124 00:08:33,120 --> 00:08:36,540 The local yokel looked destiny in the eye and blinked. 125 00:08:36,640 --> 00:08:40,140 He's a loser, and he will always be a loser. 126 00:08:40,240 --> 00:08:41,540 Sam! 127 00:08:41,640 --> 00:08:43,380 Sam, Sam, wait. 128 00:08:43,480 --> 00:08:44,460 Sam, listen. 129 00:08:44,560 --> 00:08:45,980 You're still gonna go to MIT 130 00:08:46,080 --> 00:08:48,060 and invent something that makes you a millionaire. 131 00:08:48,160 --> 00:08:50,242 And maybe even marry Olivia Newton-John. 132 00:08:52,360 --> 00:08:54,500 I was actually thinking Samantha Fox. 133 00:08:54,600 --> 00:08:56,443 Nice, but she's no Sheena Easton. 134 00:08:57,480 --> 00:08:58,700 Well, 135 00:08:58,800 --> 00:09:00,484 there's always Madonna. 136 00:09:01,000 --> 00:09:02,500 How about Scarlett Johansson? 137 00:09:02,600 --> 00:09:03,660 So hot. 138 00:09:03,760 --> 00:09:06,660 Mmm. Not Halle Berry hot, but so, so hot. 139 00:09:06,760 --> 00:09:08,046 And don't forget Katy Perry. 140 00:09:08,600 --> 00:09:11,780 What are we doin' right now? We're too old. It's just gross already. 141 00:09:11,880 --> 00:09:13,420 Plus, you're married to a woman who hates you. 142 00:09:13,520 --> 00:09:16,126 She doesn't hate me. She just doesn't get it, you know. 143 00:09:16,240 --> 00:09:19,660 We don't have the free time to do stuff together like we did 10 years ago. 144 00:09:19,760 --> 00:09:21,300 This job is killing me, man. 145 00:09:21,400 --> 00:09:23,340 If I were you, 146 00:09:23,440 --> 00:09:27,340 maybe a half hour a day, turn off the cell phone, 147 00:09:27,440 --> 00:09:29,900 shut down the emails, put away the Reggie bars 148 00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:31,060 and focus on your wife. 149 00:09:31,160 --> 00:09:33,686 FEMALE NEWS ANCHOR: The President's gaffe-filled summer continued today... 150 00:09:33,800 --> 00:09:34,860 Hold on a second. I gotta see this. 151 00:09:34,960 --> 00:09:38,620 ...at Joseph Knibb Elementary School to promote his new youth reading initiative. 152 00:09:38,720 --> 00:09:39,780 Here's what happened. 153 00:09:39,880 --> 00:09:44,260 "Mittens jumped up onto the table and knocked over the whole bowl of soup. 154 00:09:44,360 --> 00:09:46,860 "Mrs. Pickles gassed... Gasped." 155 00:09:46,960 --> 00:09:47,961 She gasped. 156 00:09:48,520 --> 00:09:50,580 - (CLEARS THROAT) - "And the whole room fell silent. 157 00:09:50,680 --> 00:09:52,300 "This was casta... 158 00:09:52,400 --> 00:09:53,561 "This is cast... (CLEARS THROAT) 159 00:09:54,560 --> 00:09:56,050 "Catatastrophic." 160 00:09:56,160 --> 00:09:57,260 Catastrophic. 161 00:09:57,360 --> 00:09:58,850 I got it, sweetheart, okay? 162 00:10:00,240 --> 00:10:01,580 Why'd you yell at me? 163 00:10:01,680 --> 00:10:02,780 You're mean. 164 00:10:02,880 --> 00:10:04,086 Leave her alone. 165 00:10:04,800 --> 00:10:06,564 The President can't read. 166 00:10:06,680 --> 00:10:09,763 (GIRLS GIGGLING) 167 00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:12,900 (LAUGHING) 168 00:10:13,000 --> 00:10:15,100 You gotta learn how to read, buddy. It's as simple as that. 169 00:10:15,200 --> 00:10:16,860 (GUARDS SNICKERING) 170 00:10:16,960 --> 00:10:18,980 (SNICKERING STOPS) 171 00:10:19,080 --> 00:10:21,242 I was on three hours' sleep, all right? 172 00:10:21,360 --> 00:10:22,860 WOMAN: Your economics are hurting poor people! 173 00:10:22,960 --> 00:10:24,020 Nice to see ya! 174 00:10:24,120 --> 00:10:26,540 MAN: You've got the blood of innocent children on your hands. 175 00:10:26,640 --> 00:10:27,620 Thank you for your support. 176 00:10:27,720 --> 00:10:29,700 I can't afford to go to college because of you! 177 00:10:29,800 --> 00:10:30,780 - (CROWD JEERING) - That's a lovely dress. 178 00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:33,884 - You're ruining the country! - Yeah, we're all in this together, now. 179 00:10:34,320 --> 00:10:35,460 You got a rough life, bud. 180 00:10:35,560 --> 00:10:36,971 - Sir? Okay. - Thank you. 181 00:10:38,640 --> 00:10:39,780 But at least you have a life. 182 00:10:39,880 --> 00:10:42,220 Look, Brenner, you're meant for something more than this. 183 00:10:42,320 --> 00:10:44,926 You just need to channel your genius into something productive. 184 00:10:45,040 --> 00:10:47,300 I mean, you were incredible at video games back in the day, 185 00:10:47,400 --> 00:10:49,140 but that's a useless skill now. 186 00:10:49,240 --> 00:10:50,844 It's like being a great blacksmith. 187 00:10:51,080 --> 00:10:55,140 Ooh! That hurt, man. That's catatastrophic that you said that. 188 00:10:55,240 --> 00:10:56,685 I'm gonna get you back for that. 189 00:10:56,800 --> 00:11:00,460 Mr. President, if you take away all the libraries, sir, 190 00:11:00,560 --> 00:11:02,449 how will the children ever learn to read? 191 00:11:03,400 --> 00:11:05,780 (JEERING INTENSIFIES) 192 00:11:05,880 --> 00:11:08,087 Blacksmith, over and out. 193 00:11:34,600 --> 00:11:36,125 (DOORBELL RINGING) 194 00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:41,860 Hello. I am a nerd from the Nerd Brigade. 195 00:11:41,960 --> 00:11:45,089 Here to nerd out on all your audio and visual needs. 196 00:11:45,320 --> 00:11:47,700 Do you have to say that every time you show up at a house? 197 00:11:47,800 --> 00:11:49,540 If I wanna get paid, yes. 198 00:11:49,640 --> 00:11:51,100 Isn't that kind of demeaning? 199 00:11:51,200 --> 00:11:52,690 Only if someone brings it up. 200 00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:55,128 - Okay, I won't bring it up, then. - Thanks. 201 00:11:55,480 --> 00:11:56,766 Come on in. 202 00:11:58,360 --> 00:12:00,740 So, what am I installing? 203 00:12:00,840 --> 00:12:03,860 (SIGHS) A new 85-inch, 4K, 3D TV, 204 00:12:03,960 --> 00:12:07,660 - PlayStation 4, 7.1 surround-sound speakers. - Mmm-hmm. 205 00:12:07,760 --> 00:12:10,540 Really, if you guys sell it, we've probably bought it. 206 00:12:10,640 --> 00:12:12,420 Huh. Is it your birthday? 207 00:12:12,520 --> 00:12:13,965 No, my parents are getting a divorce. 208 00:12:14,360 --> 00:12:16,100 Oh. So it's like 10 birthdays. 209 00:12:16,200 --> 00:12:20,500 Yeah, my dad cheated on my mom with his 19-year-old Pilates instructor. 210 00:12:20,600 --> 00:12:22,340 Her name's Sinnamon, with an "S" 211 00:12:22,440 --> 00:12:24,841 which really tells you all you need to know about her. 212 00:12:25,320 --> 00:12:27,220 No, I could hear a little more. You got any pictures? 213 00:12:27,320 --> 00:12:28,740 I'm kiddin'. I'm sorry to hear that. 214 00:12:28,840 --> 00:12:30,500 My mom kind of hates him right now. 215 00:12:30,600 --> 00:12:34,220 And she says she's gonna invent a slut-seeking missile to take out Sinnamon. 216 00:12:34,320 --> 00:12:38,370 Okay, Matty, you don't need to tell the nice installer man our whole life. 217 00:12:40,120 --> 00:12:41,121 Whoa. 218 00:12:41,440 --> 00:12:43,044 I'm sorry, "Whoa"? 219 00:12:43,160 --> 00:12:45,580 - What? - No, just you. Whoa. 220 00:12:45,680 --> 00:12:49,220 Me? Whoa? I don't even know what that means. 221 00:12:49,320 --> 00:12:54,645 I mean, it's just, when your son told me that your husband left you for a 19-year-old, 222 00:12:55,360 --> 00:12:58,380 I guess I thought you were gonna be, like 223 00:12:58,480 --> 00:13:00,860 one of those "hot when we first met in high school, 224 00:13:00,960 --> 00:13:05,010 "but then let herself go and got a potbelly and turkey neck 225 00:13:06,120 --> 00:13:07,451 "with a hairy chin." 226 00:13:07,840 --> 00:13:10,660 But clearly that's not the case. 227 00:13:10,760 --> 00:13:12,100 So more like, 228 00:13:12,200 --> 00:13:15,660 "Whoa, I should have brushed my teeth before I left the house this morning." 229 00:13:15,760 --> 00:13:18,060 Or studio apartment, if we're getting real here. 230 00:13:18,160 --> 00:13:20,401 Did you really not brush your teeth this morning? 231 00:13:21,080 --> 00:13:22,206 No, I did. 232 00:13:22,880 --> 00:13:26,487 I guess I should just start settin' this stuff up right now. 233 00:13:26,920 --> 00:13:28,331 Go get 'em. 234 00:13:34,320 --> 00:13:35,321 (TSKS) 235 00:13:38,480 --> 00:13:39,481 (CHUCKLES) 236 00:13:43,680 --> 00:13:45,300 Colonel Devereux. 237 00:13:45,400 --> 00:13:47,084 You need to see this, sir. 238 00:13:51,880 --> 00:13:53,291 We're under attack. 239 00:13:54,360 --> 00:13:56,647 (SOLDIERS CLAMORING) 240 00:14:03,120 --> 00:14:04,804 What the hell are those things? 241 00:14:05,760 --> 00:14:07,364 So are you a gamer? 242 00:14:08,240 --> 00:14:09,220 Uh... 243 00:14:09,320 --> 00:14:10,380 Yeah. 244 00:14:10,480 --> 00:14:12,528 I played when I was your age. 245 00:14:12,960 --> 00:14:14,460 Were you any good? 246 00:14:14,560 --> 00:14:17,660 I was pretty good at some of the classic games. 247 00:14:17,760 --> 00:14:20,420 Hmm. Classics. You mean like Halo and Call of Duty. 248 00:14:20,520 --> 00:14:22,727 No! The real classics. 249 00:14:22,840 --> 00:14:25,900 Defender, Pac-Man, Asteroids. 250 00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:27,860 Games you played in an arcade 251 00:14:27,960 --> 00:14:30,380 which was a building outside of your house. 252 00:14:30,480 --> 00:14:34,340 You would go there with your friends, listen to music, cute girls everywhere. 253 00:14:34,440 --> 00:14:37,091 In ancient times, they called it "socializing." 254 00:14:38,040 --> 00:14:39,326 What are you guys talking about? 255 00:14:39,800 --> 00:14:41,211 - Video games. - Video games. 256 00:14:41,320 --> 00:14:43,641 - (CELL PHONE VIBRATING) - (CHUCKLES) 257 00:14:47,640 --> 00:14:48,687 I'll be right back. 258 00:14:51,800 --> 00:14:54,060 - (KNOCK ON DOOR) - BRENNER: Mrs. Van Patten. 259 00:14:54,160 --> 00:14:55,740 All finished up down there. 260 00:14:55,840 --> 00:14:57,820 I need you to sign the work order. 261 00:14:57,920 --> 00:14:58,967 VIOLET: (VOICE WAVERING) Okay. 262 00:15:01,120 --> 00:15:03,620 Mrs. Van Patten, are you in the closet? 263 00:15:03,720 --> 00:15:04,881 Yes. 264 00:15:06,480 --> 00:15:09,404 Not judging, but what are you doin' in the closet? 265 00:15:10,240 --> 00:15:11,810 I'm mostly crying. 266 00:15:12,800 --> 00:15:14,450 A little drinking. 267 00:15:15,320 --> 00:15:17,700 Probably equally crying and drinking. 268 00:15:17,800 --> 00:15:20,580 Something I do often, also. 269 00:15:20,680 --> 00:15:22,523 But why in the closet? 270 00:15:23,880 --> 00:15:26,500 Because I don't want Matty to see me. 271 00:15:26,600 --> 00:15:28,329 (SOBBING) 272 00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:32,844 I'm comin' in the closet, Mrs. Van Patten. 273 00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:35,209 I'm opening the door. 274 00:15:39,040 --> 00:15:40,690 Are you all right? 275 00:15:41,440 --> 00:15:45,180 I'm sobbing on the floor of my closet drinking Chardonnay out of a sippy cup. 276 00:15:45,280 --> 00:15:46,820 So I guess not. 277 00:15:46,920 --> 00:15:49,207 Sorry. I withdraw the question. 278 00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:56,002 (SOBBING) Oh, God. 279 00:15:57,840 --> 00:16:00,081 - Wanna talk about it? - No. 280 00:16:01,200 --> 00:16:02,281 Yes! 281 00:16:03,360 --> 00:16:04,771 Yes. 282 00:16:07,680 --> 00:16:09,364 Oh, God. 283 00:16:10,880 --> 00:16:15,540 Sir, we are in the midst of an aerial attack by an unidentified force! 284 00:16:15,640 --> 00:16:17,620 Activate the QRF. 285 00:16:17,720 --> 00:16:18,960 (ELECTRICITY CRACKLING) 286 00:16:34,280 --> 00:16:35,486 (GRUNTS) 287 00:16:38,200 --> 00:16:39,611 (SOLDIER COUGHS) 288 00:17:02,200 --> 00:17:03,770 (SCREAMING) 289 00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:09,968 Mama! No! 290 00:17:15,880 --> 00:17:17,420 We were high-school sweethearts. 291 00:17:17,520 --> 00:17:19,060 - Mmm-hmm. - The perfect couple. 292 00:17:19,160 --> 00:17:22,060 Do you know that he proposed in a waterfall? 293 00:17:22,160 --> 00:17:24,620 - I mean, a freaking waterfall. - Smooth. 294 00:17:24,720 --> 00:17:27,140 But now, according to a text I got 20 minutes ago, 295 00:17:27,240 --> 00:17:30,164 he's marrying a 19-year-old named after a spice. 296 00:17:31,040 --> 00:17:32,963 It's not even spelled correctly. 297 00:17:33,120 --> 00:17:34,485 - Mmm. - (SCOFFS) 298 00:17:36,240 --> 00:17:39,300 It's just not where I thought I'd be at this point in my life. 299 00:17:39,400 --> 00:17:41,700 - Oh, God. I hear that. - (SIGHS) 300 00:17:41,800 --> 00:17:45,180 I was supposed to have a baby with my ex-wife. 301 00:17:45,280 --> 00:17:47,740 And the doctor who was helping us make the baby 302 00:17:47,840 --> 00:17:49,420 did help us make the baby. 303 00:17:49,520 --> 00:17:51,522 But, unfortunately, I wasn't in the room. 304 00:17:54,120 --> 00:17:56,327 (TOOTS SHAVE AND A HAIRCUT) 305 00:18:01,920 --> 00:18:04,571 Maybe this really is all for the best. 306 00:18:05,120 --> 00:18:06,500 How do you mean? 307 00:18:06,600 --> 00:18:09,888 You already married the wrong guy. You got the worst part over with. 308 00:18:10,320 --> 00:18:12,926 True, and you married the wrong girl. 309 00:18:15,760 --> 00:18:18,843 Maybe it just means we're gonna meet the right person now. 310 00:18:23,160 --> 00:18:24,161 Yeah. 311 00:18:24,920 --> 00:18:26,046 Yeah. 312 00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:34,001 Whoa! 313 00:18:35,440 --> 00:18:37,220 Are you trying to kiss me? 314 00:18:37,320 --> 00:18:38,500 Absolutely not. 315 00:18:38,600 --> 00:18:39,886 Oh, God. 316 00:18:40,760 --> 00:18:42,620 Sorry, I thought we were having a moment. 317 00:18:42,720 --> 00:18:44,688 We were. A moment. 318 00:18:46,160 --> 00:18:49,700 Look, you seem like a very nice guy, but I just met you, okay? 319 00:18:49,800 --> 00:18:51,180 And, no offense, 320 00:18:51,280 --> 00:18:54,900 I don't think my rebound guy is a 210-pound person 321 00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:57,810 that installs flat screens for a living. 322 00:18:58,280 --> 00:19:00,380 First of all, 208. 323 00:19:00,480 --> 00:19:03,860 And, wow, I didn't peg you as the snobby type. 324 00:19:03,960 --> 00:19:05,700 Snob? Me? 325 00:19:05,800 --> 00:19:07,180 (CHUCKLING) Okay. 326 00:19:07,280 --> 00:19:08,660 I am not a snob. 327 00:19:08,760 --> 00:19:13,766 Okay, well, let's just say I was a billionaire, and we were out on my giant yacht 328 00:19:13,880 --> 00:19:16,460 in the middle of the Mediterranean, sipping champagne, 329 00:19:16,560 --> 00:19:17,820 and I went in to kiss you. 330 00:19:17,920 --> 00:19:19,160 Would you have kissed me back, then? 331 00:19:21,600 --> 00:19:24,001 - (CELL PHONE VIBRATING) - Hold that thought, snobby. 332 00:19:25,560 --> 00:19:26,860 Big Man! 333 00:19:26,960 --> 00:19:28,740 COOPER: Can you get to the White House right now? 334 00:19:28,840 --> 00:19:30,524 I'll be there in 15. 335 00:19:31,600 --> 00:19:32,860 While I'd love to stick around 336 00:19:32,960 --> 00:19:36,100 and listen to you lie about not wanting to make out with the yacht guy, 337 00:19:36,200 --> 00:19:37,201 I have to go. 338 00:19:38,200 --> 00:19:40,540 For the record, I'm an amazing kisser. 339 00:19:40,640 --> 00:19:41,860 All us nerds are. 340 00:19:41,960 --> 00:19:44,008 'Cause we appreciate it more. 341 00:19:44,800 --> 00:19:47,620 You didn't even brush your teeth this morning. 342 00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:49,324 I ate a Tic Tac. 343 00:19:50,640 --> 00:19:51,641 (DOOR CLOSING) 344 00:20:06,520 --> 00:20:09,410 Too late, sweetheart. You had your shot and ya blew it. 345 00:20:09,520 --> 00:20:10,980 I'm not following you. 346 00:20:11,080 --> 00:20:14,482 Yeah, whatever you say, stalky. It's over. Deal with it. 347 00:20:17,480 --> 00:20:19,130 (TIRES SCREECHING) 348 00:20:24,440 --> 00:20:27,540 Whoa, she went from zero to psycho in 3.4 seconds, 349 00:20:27,640 --> 00:20:28,801 a new world record. 350 00:20:31,640 --> 00:20:32,766 (TIRES SCREECHING) 351 00:20:44,320 --> 00:20:45,460 BRENNER: Hey, Steve-O. 352 00:20:45,560 --> 00:20:48,820 There's a crazy woman following me. I guarantee she's here to shoot the President. 353 00:20:48,920 --> 00:20:50,980 And if I were you, I'd break out the billy club 354 00:20:51,080 --> 00:20:52,923 and go full throttle on her, seriously. 355 00:21:00,920 --> 00:21:02,729 Go right on through, Lieutenant Colonel. 356 00:21:08,360 --> 00:21:10,820 - At this point, it's primarily data collection. - (BRENNER SIGHS) 357 00:21:10,920 --> 00:21:13,180 - Why are you following me? - Oh, God. 358 00:21:13,280 --> 00:21:16,700 Oh, God. I can't believe they even let you in here. 359 00:21:16,800 --> 00:21:17,881 BRENNER: Right. 360 00:21:18,760 --> 00:21:21,980 Colonel Van Patten, you can go right into the Situation Room. 361 00:21:22,080 --> 00:21:23,940 Yeah, see, they need me in the Situation Room, 362 00:21:24,040 --> 00:21:26,407 - so have fun doing whatever you're doing. - Mmm. 363 00:21:26,520 --> 00:21:29,649 Mr. Brenner, the President is waiting for you in the Oval Office. 364 00:21:31,160 --> 00:21:34,004 (MOCKINGLY) Somebody's more important. 365 00:21:38,760 --> 00:21:41,889 Freddy, can you keep the riffraff outta here? 366 00:21:47,280 --> 00:21:48,780 Yo, wassup? 367 00:21:48,880 --> 00:21:51,100 Oh, come on, you couldn't have at least changed? 368 00:21:51,200 --> 00:21:53,060 You told me to rush right over. 369 00:21:53,160 --> 00:21:55,660 What's going on, man? Why's it so crazy out there? 370 00:21:55,760 --> 00:21:58,220 (SIGHS) Our Air Force base in Guam was attacked. 371 00:21:58,320 --> 00:21:59,500 By who? 372 00:21:59,600 --> 00:22:01,140 I'm not sure. That's what I wanted to ask you. 373 00:22:01,240 --> 00:22:03,380 Come here. Check this out. 374 00:22:03,480 --> 00:22:06,165 - Me? - Yes, you. Come here. 375 00:22:07,680 --> 00:22:09,250 - Listen to this. - (KEYBOARD CLACKS) 376 00:22:09,360 --> 00:22:12,180 - (DEEP WHIRRING) - Does that sound familiar to you? 377 00:22:12,280 --> 00:22:14,647 Yeah. Where do I know that from? 378 00:22:15,280 --> 00:22:17,203 - Can you freeze it? - Yeah, hold on. 379 00:22:18,080 --> 00:22:21,482 - Go in tighter. - (BEEPING) 380 00:22:22,720 --> 00:22:23,660 That can't be real. 381 00:22:23,760 --> 00:22:25,888 Okay, so you're seeing the same thing I'm seeing. 382 00:22:26,760 --> 00:22:30,048 What kind of mushrooms did that guy put on our burgers? 383 00:22:31,320 --> 00:22:33,402 - They're ready for you, Mr. President. - COOPER: Great. 384 00:22:33,840 --> 00:22:35,620 Now I gotta explain this to the National Security Council. 385 00:22:35,720 --> 00:22:36,980 Listen, do me a favor, Sam. 386 00:22:37,080 --> 00:22:38,220 Watch that again, okay? 387 00:22:38,320 --> 00:22:41,060 And just see if there's anything you can find to help us out. 388 00:22:41,160 --> 00:22:42,900 Yeah. Can I sit in your chair? 389 00:22:43,000 --> 00:22:44,620 No, you can't, and everything's recorded. 390 00:22:44,720 --> 00:22:47,326 Okay, I won't. I won't. I won't. 391 00:22:48,280 --> 00:22:50,681 I'm sittin' in the chair. Gimme a break. 392 00:22:51,440 --> 00:22:53,900 (ALL SPEAKING TOGETHER) 393 00:22:54,000 --> 00:22:58,500 Mr. President, we told the press that it was an advanced weapons test that misfired. 394 00:22:58,600 --> 00:23:00,820 - So there's no mass panic yet. - Well, good. 395 00:23:00,920 --> 00:23:02,940 Then let's solve this thing before there is. 396 00:23:03,040 --> 00:23:05,700 Mr. President, someone's made a major breakthrough in drone technology 397 00:23:05,800 --> 00:23:06,820 and it wasn't us. 398 00:23:06,920 --> 00:23:08,540 CIA CHIEF: This has got Moscow's fingerprints all over it. 399 00:23:08,640 --> 00:23:11,140 Nonsense! It's an Iranian black-ops sideshow. 400 00:23:11,240 --> 00:23:12,241 I guarantee it. 401 00:23:12,640 --> 00:23:13,700 I have a theory. 402 00:23:13,800 --> 00:23:16,300 I think, based on analysis of the footage, 403 00:23:16,400 --> 00:23:20,325 that preliminary indications are that we were attacked by 404 00:23:21,440 --> 00:23:22,441 (MUMBLING) Galaga. 405 00:23:23,640 --> 00:23:24,846 By who, sir? 406 00:23:25,400 --> 00:23:26,731 Galaga. 407 00:23:26,840 --> 00:23:28,410 Sons of bitches. 408 00:23:28,960 --> 00:23:31,247 Then let's blow Galaga to hell. 409 00:23:31,520 --> 00:23:32,521 Who's Galaga? 410 00:23:33,120 --> 00:23:37,020 It's an old-timey video game, '80s kind of folks like my dad used to play. 411 00:23:37,120 --> 00:23:40,900 Mr. President, there is no nation on Earth that has the military technology 412 00:23:41,000 --> 00:23:43,820 to simply pixelate entire buildings. 413 00:23:43,920 --> 00:23:44,921 Except Iran. 414 00:23:45,240 --> 00:23:46,340 DEFENSE SECRETARY: Forget Iran! 415 00:23:46,440 --> 00:23:48,860 I'm thinking this is a cutting-edge multinational enterprise. 416 00:23:48,960 --> 00:23:51,380 An NGO, a think tank, maybe even a corporation. 417 00:23:51,480 --> 00:23:53,847 We're thinkin' Iran when we should be thinking Google. 418 00:23:54,560 --> 00:23:55,900 So let's blow up Google. 419 00:23:56,000 --> 00:23:57,001 (KNOCK ON DOOR) 420 00:23:57,120 --> 00:24:00,363 Can somebody take Grandpa's keys away before he drives us into a ditch? 421 00:24:01,720 --> 00:24:02,846 (PERSON CLEARS THROAT) 422 00:24:03,920 --> 00:24:05,843 - Who is this person? - The sandwich guy? 423 00:24:06,440 --> 00:24:10,684 This here is, uh, my old arcade game technical 424 00:24:10,800 --> 00:24:13,167 advisor person-guy. 425 00:24:13,880 --> 00:24:15,980 Sam Brenner. He works in the tech sector. 426 00:24:16,080 --> 00:24:17,820 So Caltech, MIT? 427 00:24:17,920 --> 00:24:19,260 MIT. Yes. 428 00:24:19,360 --> 00:24:21,580 Mississippi Institute of Technology, though. 429 00:24:21,680 --> 00:24:22,780 Not the one you were thinking of. 430 00:24:22,880 --> 00:24:24,380 Anyway, more to the current point, 431 00:24:24,480 --> 00:24:27,060 uh, Mr. Brenner here was the World Galaga Champion. 432 00:24:27,160 --> 00:24:29,540 He knows everything there is to know about this game. 433 00:24:29,640 --> 00:24:32,620 So, what is it you and your orange shorts barged in here to say? 434 00:24:32,720 --> 00:24:35,580 Oh, just the Galaga that attacked us, 435 00:24:35,680 --> 00:24:37,580 that doesn't exist anymore. 436 00:24:37,680 --> 00:24:41,571 Hello. You can download Galaga on your phone for $1.99. 437 00:24:41,840 --> 00:24:44,300 Yeah, not this version though, Blue Lagoon. 438 00:24:44,400 --> 00:24:48,100 The Galaga that exists now came out in 1986. 439 00:24:48,200 --> 00:24:50,726 But this is the 1982 arcade version. 440 00:24:50,840 --> 00:24:53,460 And all those machines, they recalled them, they reprogrammed them, 441 00:24:53,560 --> 00:24:55,340 because there were glitches in the original code. 442 00:24:55,440 --> 00:24:58,700 You can see from the giant space bugs, the way they come swoopin' in. 443 00:24:58,800 --> 00:25:00,060 Kind of ziggy-zaggy. 444 00:25:00,160 --> 00:25:01,400 Ziggy-zag? Is that the snobby term? 445 00:25:02,000 --> 00:25:04,140 VIOLET: So someone designed these space bugs 446 00:25:04,240 --> 00:25:07,780 after an old out-of-print version of a video game from 30 years ago 447 00:25:07,880 --> 00:25:09,140 that nobody would know today? 448 00:25:09,240 --> 00:25:12,050 Does she really get to talk twice? She's not even at the grown-ups table. 449 00:25:12,360 --> 00:25:15,500 I'm sorry. Is this a National Security Council meeting, 450 00:25:15,600 --> 00:25:16,965 or a dorm-room drug party? 451 00:25:17,640 --> 00:25:21,180 Our nation has just been attacked by an unknown military force. 452 00:25:21,280 --> 00:25:23,660 If this gets out to the press that we're pinning the blame 453 00:25:23,760 --> 00:25:25,220 on some old computer game, 454 00:25:25,320 --> 00:25:29,211 they'll not only mock you in the news, Mr. President, they'd impeach you! 455 00:25:30,760 --> 00:25:34,890 So I suggest the man in the orange shorts leave the room immediately. 456 00:25:35,160 --> 00:25:38,740 And those of us with long pants and government positions 457 00:25:38,840 --> 00:25:41,650 can discuss our options. 458 00:25:43,920 --> 00:25:47,561 All right, Brenner. Do me a favor. Take off, all right? I appreciate the help. 459 00:25:47,880 --> 00:25:48,881 (MOUTHING) Bye! 460 00:25:50,480 --> 00:25:52,767 Sorry, everybody. (STAMMERS) 461 00:25:53,760 --> 00:25:55,285 Mr. President. 462 00:25:56,480 --> 00:25:58,940 Generals and Admirals. 463 00:25:59,040 --> 00:26:00,326 Guys in suits. 464 00:26:01,280 --> 00:26:02,406 Zac Efron. 465 00:26:03,640 --> 00:26:04,660 Gandalf, 466 00:26:04,760 --> 00:26:06,842 and Harry Potter in the same room. 467 00:26:06,960 --> 00:26:08,121 Imagine that. 468 00:26:08,520 --> 00:26:11,683 Grandpa, we'll see you around the, uh, nursing home. 469 00:26:13,200 --> 00:26:14,804 Oh, uh, the sandwich guy is here. 470 00:26:16,000 --> 00:26:17,001 Fooled you. 471 00:26:19,760 --> 00:26:22,843 COMMENTATOR 1: (ON RADIO) Past the shortstop into left center field for a single. 472 00:26:23,240 --> 00:26:26,900 That's the second straight inning where Washington has led off with a single. 473 00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:30,060 COMMENTATOR 2: They're talking about how he's standing straight up over the plate. 474 00:26:30,160 --> 00:26:31,241 That seems to be working out for him, 475 00:26:31,360 --> 00:26:34,060 'cause he just drove that ball into the gap hard. 476 00:26:34,160 --> 00:26:36,740 COMMENTATOR 1: First pitch taken outside for a ball, 1-0, 477 00:26:36,840 --> 00:26:38,020 and the 1-0 swung... 478 00:26:38,120 --> 00:26:39,121 - Brenner! - (SCREAMS) 479 00:26:41,400 --> 00:26:42,401 (TIRES SCREECH) 480 00:26:42,920 --> 00:26:44,660 (GROANING) 481 00:26:44,760 --> 00:26:46,580 What's your problem, dude? 482 00:26:46,680 --> 00:26:49,300 - What's goin' on? - Whoa, whoa, whoa! 483 00:26:49,400 --> 00:26:50,420 No, Brenner! 484 00:26:50,520 --> 00:26:52,140 No, Brenner, no, no, no! 485 00:26:52,240 --> 00:26:55,005 Stop! It's me! It's me! It's Ludlow! It's Ludlow. 486 00:26:55,680 --> 00:26:59,140 - Ludlow Lamonsoff, the Wonder Kid? - Yeah. 487 00:26:59,240 --> 00:27:00,287 How'd you get into my van? 488 00:27:00,600 --> 00:27:03,100 I've been in there ever since you went to that nice lady's house. 489 00:27:03,200 --> 00:27:04,260 She's cute, by the way. 490 00:27:04,360 --> 00:27:05,361 - What? - Hey! 491 00:27:06,840 --> 00:27:09,844 - What is that? - This is moisturizer. 492 00:27:10,280 --> 00:27:11,645 Show me what that is. 493 00:27:13,040 --> 00:27:14,166 Chloroform? 494 00:27:14,440 --> 00:27:15,620 Is that what that says? 495 00:27:15,720 --> 00:27:17,100 You were gonna drug me? 496 00:27:17,200 --> 00:27:19,220 - Only as a last resort. - What are you... 497 00:27:19,320 --> 00:27:22,051 - There was something I had to tell you. - Why didn't you call me, then? 498 00:27:22,720 --> 00:27:24,860 Because the CIA has been tapping my phones 499 00:27:24,960 --> 00:27:27,740 ever since I found out the Zapruder film has been edited. 500 00:27:27,840 --> 00:27:29,604 JFK shot first! 501 00:27:31,360 --> 00:27:32,407 Ludlow, it is you! 502 00:27:33,320 --> 00:27:36,900 - Hi, buddy! Let me look at you! - Hey! Good to see you, my boy! 503 00:27:37,000 --> 00:27:39,980 How are you? My goodness! Look at you! 504 00:27:40,080 --> 00:27:42,060 - I know. - Stayin' in shape! 505 00:27:42,160 --> 00:27:44,260 I'm on an all protein diet, but I'm also doing carbs. 506 00:27:44,360 --> 00:27:46,010 - Good. - But seriously, Brenner. 507 00:27:46,720 --> 00:27:48,900 There's something I have to show you. 508 00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:51,020 And let's just say 509 00:27:51,120 --> 00:27:52,724 (WHISPERING) it's a game changer. 510 00:27:56,120 --> 00:27:58,980 LUDLOW: You're the first guest I've had here. Voluntarily. 511 00:27:59,080 --> 00:28:00,286 That's a shocker. 512 00:28:06,360 --> 00:28:08,169 If Lady Lisa was real, 513 00:28:08,280 --> 00:28:11,380 she'd have about 17 restraining orders out on you. 514 00:28:11,480 --> 00:28:12,660 Actually, I think if she was real, 515 00:28:12,760 --> 00:28:14,524 things might just play out a little bit differently. 516 00:28:14,800 --> 00:28:16,140 - Hmm? - You wanna know how I know that? 517 00:28:16,240 --> 00:28:17,580 - Mmm. - If She Was Real. 518 00:28:17,680 --> 00:28:19,682 A book written and illustrated by Ludlow Lamonsoff. 519 00:28:19,800 --> 00:28:20,847 Oh, boy. 520 00:28:25,360 --> 00:28:26,600 (GASPS) 521 00:28:27,320 --> 00:28:29,700 You should sell that at Barnes & Unstable. 522 00:28:29,800 --> 00:28:31,220 - Do you want a copy? - No. 523 00:28:31,320 --> 00:28:32,401 I have eight others. 524 00:28:32,520 --> 00:28:35,020 Why am I here right now? Why did you try to roofie me? 525 00:28:35,120 --> 00:28:37,020 - Right. Thank you for reminding me. - Uh-huh. 526 00:28:37,120 --> 00:28:39,122 Okay. Follow me. 527 00:28:40,160 --> 00:28:43,642 Earlier today, our military base in Guam was attacked by this guy, Galaga. 528 00:28:44,240 --> 00:28:45,220 How would you know that? 529 00:28:45,320 --> 00:28:47,700 I have a pen pal in Guam. His name is Baubau. 530 00:28:47,800 --> 00:28:48,900 Baubau was terribly frightened, 531 00:28:49,000 --> 00:28:52,300 so I hacked into the government's servers to assure Baubau that everything was okay. 532 00:28:52,400 --> 00:28:53,380 But you know what? 533 00:28:53,480 --> 00:28:54,641 - What? - Everything was not okay. 534 00:28:54,760 --> 00:28:56,060 - (DOOR OPENS) - MICKEY: Ludlow! 535 00:28:56,160 --> 00:28:59,540 Did you get me some diet root beer while you were out? 536 00:28:59,640 --> 00:29:01,780 - You remember my grandma. - Sure. 537 00:29:01,880 --> 00:29:04,690 She's still a character after all those years. 538 00:29:05,160 --> 00:29:09,100 No, no, Grandma! It's funny. I didn't get a chance to because, um... 539 00:29:09,200 --> 00:29:10,860 Oh, what happened? Oh, I remember now. 540 00:29:10,960 --> 00:29:14,900 (SCREAMING) I'm trying to save the world from annihilation! 541 00:29:15,000 --> 00:29:16,331 Are you nuts? 542 00:29:16,440 --> 00:29:17,980 You cracker! 543 00:29:18,080 --> 00:29:19,809 - Don't yell at me! - (DOOR SLAMS) 544 00:29:20,680 --> 00:29:24,300 So look, I know that sometimes people think of me as a bit of a conspiracy nut. 545 00:29:24,400 --> 00:29:25,401 Right. 546 00:29:25,800 --> 00:29:28,100 But sometimes, Brenner, sometimes 547 00:29:28,200 --> 00:29:30,202 the conspiracies are real. 548 00:29:30,720 --> 00:29:32,740 Have you been playing Space Invaders a lot lately? 549 00:29:32,840 --> 00:29:33,921 I have. How did you know that? 550 00:29:34,040 --> 00:29:35,849 'Cause you're invading my space. Back up. 551 00:29:37,000 --> 00:29:38,340 Brenner, do you remember when we were children, 552 00:29:38,440 --> 00:29:40,820 and we played in that video game championship? 553 00:29:40,920 --> 00:29:42,729 Of course, buddy. 554 00:29:42,840 --> 00:29:44,700 Do you remember how there was a tape of the event 555 00:29:44,800 --> 00:29:46,980 and all the games that were played that was then put in a capsule 556 00:29:47,080 --> 00:29:48,700 and shot out into the universe 557 00:29:48,800 --> 00:29:51,140 - looking for extraterrestrial life? - Mmm-hmm. 558 00:29:51,240 --> 00:29:55,404 I have reason to believe that some alien life force found that tape 559 00:29:55,520 --> 00:30:00,020 and has sent down real-life versions of what they saw 560 00:30:00,120 --> 00:30:01,360 to attack us. 561 00:30:01,680 --> 00:30:02,980 Brenner, I spent the day on 4chan 562 00:30:03,080 --> 00:30:05,900 searching for messages from the aliens to prove my theory. 563 00:30:06,000 --> 00:30:07,889 - And you wanna know something? - Tell me. 564 00:30:08,200 --> 00:30:09,565 I came up absolutely empty. 565 00:30:09,840 --> 00:30:12,060 So then, as a distraction, I got up 566 00:30:12,160 --> 00:30:15,660 to try to watch an episode of One Tree Hill that I recorded on my VCR last night. 567 00:30:15,760 --> 00:30:17,220 I've been binge-watching to catch up. 568 00:30:17,320 --> 00:30:19,140 And you don't have cable because... 569 00:30:19,240 --> 00:30:22,100 Because the government spies on us through our cable boxes, Brenner. 570 00:30:22,200 --> 00:30:23,340 That's been proven. 571 00:30:23,440 --> 00:30:25,140 And you don't want them to see you dancin' around 572 00:30:25,240 --> 00:30:26,860 in your underwear for Lady Lisa. I get it. 573 00:30:26,960 --> 00:30:29,486 No, that tape was burned three months ago. Anyway... 574 00:30:31,320 --> 00:30:33,140 In the middle of the UHF broadcast, 575 00:30:33,240 --> 00:30:37,500 something peculiar interrupted Sophia Bush's sexy shenanigans. 576 00:30:37,600 --> 00:30:39,250 No, you're the freak with the fat... 577 00:30:39,640 --> 00:30:42,166 (TRIUMPHANT MUSIC PLAYING) 578 00:30:44,680 --> 00:30:46,409 Inhabitants of Earth, 579 00:30:46,920 --> 00:30:49,366 we are a race from the planet Volula. 580 00:30:49,520 --> 00:30:52,260 We came to you in these familiar Earth forms 581 00:30:52,360 --> 00:30:54,408 to tell we received your vessel. 582 00:30:54,720 --> 00:30:56,780 And in it, your hostile challenge. 583 00:30:56,880 --> 00:31:01,860 We accept your offer to compete in winner-take-all battles. 584 00:31:01,960 --> 00:31:06,682 Gather your bravest warriors to face our bravest warriors! 585 00:31:06,880 --> 00:31:08,700 The winner takes the loser's planet. 586 00:31:08,800 --> 00:31:10,609 You have already lost the first battle. 587 00:31:10,720 --> 00:31:13,121 And for our victory, we have taken a trophy. 588 00:31:14,400 --> 00:31:16,050 I'm okay, Mama. 589 00:31:16,760 --> 00:31:18,171 I love you. 590 00:31:19,200 --> 00:31:20,804 That's not the real Madonna! 591 00:31:21,800 --> 00:31:23,660 You will get three lives. 592 00:31:23,760 --> 00:31:25,100 You have two lives left. 593 00:31:25,200 --> 00:31:29,260 Losing both will lead to the total destruction of your planet. 594 00:31:29,360 --> 00:31:31,660 The next battle is in 15 hours 595 00:31:31,760 --> 00:31:35,287 (VOICE DISTORTING) at coordinates 27° 24' 79". 596 00:31:36,120 --> 00:31:37,100 (FEEDBACK SCREECHES) 597 00:31:37,200 --> 00:31:38,700 Okay, I got lost about halfway through. 598 00:31:38,800 --> 00:31:40,780 Why does Madonna wanna take over our planet? 599 00:31:40,880 --> 00:31:44,726 These moron aliens think that the footage NASA sent up to space 600 00:31:44,840 --> 00:31:46,540 of us playing video games in 1982 601 00:31:46,640 --> 00:31:48,300 was a declaration of war. 602 00:31:48,400 --> 00:31:53,300 Intergalactic war, Mr. President. Isn't that crazy? Isn't that unpredictable? 603 00:31:53,400 --> 00:31:54,740 Lud, listen. 604 00:31:54,840 --> 00:31:56,900 You helped unscramble my Cinemax when we were kids. 605 00:31:57,000 --> 00:31:58,365 I think you can call me Chewie. 606 00:31:58,880 --> 00:32:00,962 What do they mean by three lives? What is that? 607 00:32:01,240 --> 00:32:03,820 Uh-huh. If I may. See, that's just it. 608 00:32:03,920 --> 00:32:07,860 It's like the video games of old, Chewie Mr. President. 609 00:32:07,960 --> 00:32:10,611 One quarter, three lives. 610 00:32:11,000 --> 00:32:13,740 This is clearly not a quarter. This is far more valuable. May I keep this? 611 00:32:13,840 --> 00:32:15,500 - Put it back on the desk. - LUDLOW: Fair enough. 612 00:32:15,600 --> 00:32:17,602 We lost the first one, Galaga. 613 00:32:17,960 --> 00:32:19,420 Two more losses and... 614 00:32:19,520 --> 00:32:20,740 LUDLOW: It's game over. 615 00:32:20,840 --> 00:32:22,380 Now, assuming that... 616 00:32:22,480 --> 00:32:24,540 - You know what, that's not happening. - Fair enough. 617 00:32:24,640 --> 00:32:28,260 Assuming that Alien Madonna's numbers are actually latitude and longitude, 618 00:32:28,360 --> 00:32:31,603 then we can safely assume that the next attack should happen somewhere 619 00:32:31,720 --> 00:32:33,100 in Northern India tonight. 620 00:32:33,200 --> 00:32:35,940 If you can get your guys from the NSA to clean up the signal, 621 00:32:36,040 --> 00:32:38,940 then we can pinpoint exactly where the attack is gonna be, 622 00:32:39,040 --> 00:32:42,100 and maybe even which game they're gonna use to attack us. 623 00:32:42,200 --> 00:32:44,460 - Right? - I can't authorize a military response 624 00:32:44,560 --> 00:32:48,460 based off a video that looks like it was made by a couple high school kids. 625 00:32:48,560 --> 00:32:51,620 You gotta at least warn the people of India somethin' could be comin'. 626 00:32:51,720 --> 00:32:54,540 The whole country thinks I'm a buffoon right now as it is. 627 00:32:54,640 --> 00:32:57,291 Look, I can't risk it, Brenner. I just can't! 628 00:32:58,560 --> 00:32:59,540 (MAN SPEAKING HINDI) 629 00:32:59,640 --> 00:33:01,700 So I guess we've been dating for almost three years now. 630 00:33:01,800 --> 00:33:03,460 Yes, almost three. 631 00:33:03,560 --> 00:33:06,370 They have been the best years of my life. 632 00:33:07,080 --> 00:33:09,686 ...and I think we have something very special. 633 00:33:09,800 --> 00:33:13,771 Raj, is this what I think it is? 634 00:33:14,400 --> 00:33:15,401 (CHUCKLES) 635 00:33:16,560 --> 00:33:18,608 (TRUE PLAYING OVER SPEAKER) 636 00:33:21,440 --> 00:33:24,046 (MAN SINGING IN THE STYLE OF TRUE IN HINDI) 637 00:33:27,120 --> 00:33:28,884 Will you marry me? 638 00:33:31,880 --> 00:33:33,041 - (SCREAMING) - (EXPLOSION) 639 00:33:39,520 --> 00:33:41,363 (BREATHING HEAVILY) 640 00:33:56,680 --> 00:33:57,681 (GASPS) 641 00:34:01,120 --> 00:34:03,248 (SCREAMING) 642 00:34:09,720 --> 00:34:11,580 Don't sweat the whole Taj Mahal thing. 643 00:34:11,680 --> 00:34:14,540 It's probably better that there's only an even six Wonders of the World now. 644 00:34:14,640 --> 00:34:16,220 You know what? I get it. I screwed up. 645 00:34:16,320 --> 00:34:17,940 It won't happen again. Shut up. 646 00:34:18,040 --> 00:34:19,530 Good morning, Mr. President. 647 00:34:20,560 --> 00:34:23,484 What's Radio Shack Robbie doing here? And this other 648 00:34:23,760 --> 00:34:24,700 fella. 649 00:34:24,800 --> 00:34:26,940 Hi. Ludlow Lamonsoff. 650 00:34:27,040 --> 00:34:28,900 We've actually met before, but you wouldn't remember 651 00:34:29,000 --> 00:34:32,049 because it was in the back of Brenner's van and I was watching you through a window. 652 00:34:32,320 --> 00:34:35,688 (SNIFFS) You smell so nice, like the Book of Genesis. 653 00:34:35,800 --> 00:34:38,060 Mr. Lamonsoff and Mr. Brenner 654 00:34:38,160 --> 00:34:41,140 have agreed to share their video game expertise with you and your team. 655 00:34:41,240 --> 00:34:42,220 Happy to do it. 656 00:34:42,320 --> 00:34:43,380 With all due respect, sir, 657 00:34:43,480 --> 00:34:46,660 having civilians with zero security clearance in this facility is... 658 00:34:46,760 --> 00:34:49,900 These civilians have better insight into our current crisis 659 00:34:50,000 --> 00:34:51,570 than my entire administration. 660 00:34:51,680 --> 00:34:54,100 I dunno if I wanna do it now. She's being so mean. 661 00:34:54,200 --> 00:34:55,300 - I kind of wanna leave. - Okay. 662 00:34:55,400 --> 00:34:57,129 - If he leaves, I leave. We're a team. - Stop it. 663 00:34:57,240 --> 00:34:59,900 - This is how it's gonna be the whole time? - Guys, knock it off. Lead the way. 664 00:35:00,000 --> 00:35:01,206 Of course, Mr. President. 665 00:35:01,360 --> 00:35:02,850 (DOOR BUZZES) 666 00:35:04,240 --> 00:35:06,780 So have we made any progress, Colonel? 667 00:35:06,880 --> 00:35:08,620 Enormous progress, sir. 668 00:35:08,720 --> 00:35:11,620 We now understand the entities that attacked us were made of energy. 669 00:35:11,720 --> 00:35:12,960 Intelligent energy. 670 00:35:13,520 --> 00:35:16,046 - Morning, Colonel. - Good morning, Michael. 671 00:35:17,800 --> 00:35:20,060 Michael's a robot! 672 00:35:20,160 --> 00:35:23,420 I think maybe the extraterrestrials took what they saw in the orbiter 673 00:35:23,520 --> 00:35:26,410 and recreated the same things using light energy. 674 00:35:26,520 --> 00:35:29,364 And then sent these light creatures back at us. 675 00:35:29,480 --> 00:35:34,100 That's why solid matter, bullets and missiles, won't harm them. 676 00:35:34,200 --> 00:35:35,340 Can anything harm them? 677 00:35:35,440 --> 00:35:36,680 Maybe. 678 00:35:37,320 --> 00:35:41,180 The cubes we recovered in Guam are normally pretty feisty. 679 00:35:41,280 --> 00:35:42,725 BRENNER: Hey, look at that! COOPER: Whoa! 680 00:35:43,280 --> 00:35:44,725 Oh, he didn't like it though. 681 00:35:44,880 --> 00:35:45,881 (GASPS) 682 00:35:47,400 --> 00:35:49,100 But they calm down pretty quick 683 00:35:49,200 --> 00:35:51,931 when we hit them with some super-charged light particles. 684 00:35:53,640 --> 00:35:55,980 And the slut-seeking missile, I'd love to see that. 685 00:35:56,080 --> 00:35:58,260 - Do you have that around here? - You are so smart. 686 00:35:58,360 --> 00:35:59,780 Yeah? You think so? 687 00:35:59,880 --> 00:36:02,460 Is that how you got into the Mississippi Institute of Technology? 688 00:36:02,560 --> 00:36:04,820 You know, I wish I never went in that closet with you. 689 00:36:04,920 --> 00:36:07,660 I was very happy drinking and crying by myself. 690 00:36:07,760 --> 00:36:09,140 I so regret trying to kiss you. 691 00:36:09,240 --> 00:36:12,323 I would kiss the guy in the yacht 100 times before I kissed you. 692 00:36:20,320 --> 00:36:21,845 - Moving on. - Yeah. 693 00:36:23,600 --> 00:36:26,180 We have begun instructing the Navy SEAL task force 694 00:36:26,280 --> 00:36:27,964 on the use of the prototype weapons. 695 00:36:28,640 --> 00:36:30,180 PORTER: What do we train for? SEALS: War! 696 00:36:30,280 --> 00:36:31,850 - Why do we fight? - To win! 697 00:36:31,960 --> 00:36:33,500 - When do we quit? - Never! 698 00:36:33,600 --> 00:36:35,340 - What do we train for? - War! 699 00:36:35,440 --> 00:36:37,060 - Why do we fight? - To win! 700 00:36:37,160 --> 00:36:39,340 - When do we quit? - Never! 701 00:36:39,440 --> 00:36:44,162 Perhaps our new expert advisors would like to say a few words to the SEALs. 702 00:36:44,840 --> 00:36:45,921 Oh, boy. 703 00:36:47,320 --> 00:36:49,860 Men, you have served this nation with distinction, 704 00:36:49,960 --> 00:36:55,000 in combat zones, in every nook and cranny of this godforsaken world, 705 00:36:55,280 --> 00:36:58,329 defeating every enemy they've thrown at you. 706 00:36:58,640 --> 00:36:59,721 (WHISPERING) Hey, what's up? 707 00:37:00,320 --> 00:37:01,260 Brenner? 708 00:37:01,360 --> 00:37:03,780 - I couldn't get a babysitter. - Oh. 709 00:37:03,880 --> 00:37:09,580 The President has brought in these two civilian Arcaders 710 00:37:09,680 --> 00:37:11,762 who we are required to listen to 711 00:37:12,240 --> 00:37:15,005 for 120 seconds, 712 00:37:15,360 --> 00:37:16,340 starting... 713 00:37:16,440 --> 00:37:17,540 I can't do this. 714 00:37:17,640 --> 00:37:18,641 - You can do this. - Uh, no. 715 00:37:18,840 --> 00:37:19,820 ...now! 716 00:37:19,920 --> 00:37:21,540 I can't do this. I'm gonna throw up! 717 00:37:21,640 --> 00:37:24,220 We know how to do this. They don't. Just act the part. 718 00:37:24,320 --> 00:37:25,560 Hey, guys. 719 00:37:25,680 --> 00:37:29,140 How are you? Hey, thank you, General Zod, for that beautiful intro. 720 00:37:29,240 --> 00:37:31,860 Hey, uh, fellas. Good to see you. 721 00:37:31,960 --> 00:37:32,961 Um... 722 00:37:33,240 --> 00:37:36,460 Let me introduce myself. My name is Sam Brenner. 723 00:37:36,560 --> 00:37:40,246 And this is the Wonder Kid, also known as... 724 00:37:40,360 --> 00:37:42,522 Your worst nightmare! 725 00:37:46,200 --> 00:37:47,900 Looks to me, Brenner, 726 00:37:48,000 --> 00:37:50,660 like someone forgot to send us the best of the best. 727 00:37:50,760 --> 00:37:51,780 Oops. 728 00:37:51,880 --> 00:37:55,740 And instead, dropped off a bunch of incontinent, 729 00:37:55,840 --> 00:37:57,940 adult diaper-wearing, 730 00:37:58,040 --> 00:38:01,180 candy-assed, cries-himself-to-sleep, 731 00:38:01,280 --> 00:38:03,760 women-baby-man-people! 732 00:38:04,200 --> 00:38:05,770 What am I lookin' at right now? 733 00:38:06,040 --> 00:38:09,620 Are you guys soldiers? Or the cast of Magic Mike? 734 00:38:09,720 --> 00:38:12,451 You gonna fight? Or dance naked? 735 00:38:14,600 --> 00:38:16,260 From now on, 736 00:38:16,360 --> 00:38:19,140 you maggots, you little girl maggots... 737 00:38:19,240 --> 00:38:21,780 Whatever the hell the female form of maggot is. 738 00:38:21,880 --> 00:38:22,940 Magina? 739 00:38:23,040 --> 00:38:24,540 You magina! 740 00:38:24,640 --> 00:38:27,620 When you magina poop your pants, 741 00:38:27,720 --> 00:38:29,700 you're gonna be thinking of me! 742 00:38:29,800 --> 00:38:30,940 In your pants! 743 00:38:31,040 --> 00:38:32,565 You know what I mean. 744 00:38:32,840 --> 00:38:33,887 (LAUGHING) 745 00:38:34,480 --> 00:38:36,084 Do you feel me? 746 00:38:37,080 --> 00:38:39,048 Do you feel me, sailor? 747 00:38:39,800 --> 00:38:41,900 You beautiful Nubian man! 748 00:38:42,000 --> 00:38:44,924 You gorgeous specimen of what God can make! 749 00:38:46,440 --> 00:38:47,740 Do you feel me? 750 00:38:47,840 --> 00:38:49,410 I think you're about to feel him, Lud. 751 00:38:50,240 --> 00:38:51,401 I can't move. 752 00:38:52,080 --> 00:38:53,980 Lemme help you. Hey, come here. 753 00:38:54,080 --> 00:38:56,140 Sorry. Don't touch the guy. Just sit down. 754 00:38:56,240 --> 00:38:57,460 - Did I do good? - You did awful. 755 00:38:57,560 --> 00:38:58,641 Sit down. 756 00:38:59,800 --> 00:39:01,325 Sorry about that, everybody. 757 00:39:01,760 --> 00:39:03,250 I know it's weird. 758 00:39:03,360 --> 00:39:06,660 Two buffoons like me and this guy giving advice to you badasses. 759 00:39:06,760 --> 00:39:10,048 But the truth is we've been training. 760 00:39:10,160 --> 00:39:13,820 Since childhood, we've been training our prefrontal cortex 761 00:39:13,920 --> 00:39:17,100 to perform extremely complex motor feats 762 00:39:17,200 --> 00:39:22,380 with hand-eye coordination unique to a very specific cognitive acuity. 763 00:39:22,480 --> 00:39:25,290 I learned a lot of big words at the dorm-room drug parties. 764 00:39:25,880 --> 00:39:29,168 All of it's been meaningless in all areas of our life. 765 00:39:30,440 --> 00:39:35,287 But suddenly, it might be comin' in handy to saving our planet. 766 00:39:35,800 --> 00:39:39,460 So we're hopin' you guys can forget about us bein' civilian morons, 767 00:39:39,560 --> 00:39:43,121 and let us teach you a few things in the little time we have. 768 00:39:43,680 --> 00:39:46,490 I think we might help you win this thing. 769 00:39:47,200 --> 00:39:50,940 BRENNER: There is only one objective in Asteroids. 770 00:39:51,040 --> 00:39:55,380 That is to destroy every rock and every saucer. 771 00:39:55,480 --> 00:39:58,420 You don't wanna get hit by any of these boulders. 772 00:39:58,520 --> 00:40:01,380 That's why I recommend stayin' in the middle. 773 00:40:01,480 --> 00:40:03,900 Just 'cause you see a hammer doesn't mean grab it. 774 00:40:04,000 --> 00:40:05,980 You're not gonna climb a ladder with a hammer in your hand. 775 00:40:06,080 --> 00:40:07,889 - Very good. - Good piloting, Maverick! 776 00:40:08,480 --> 00:40:09,481 (GRUNTS) 777 00:40:09,680 --> 00:40:10,940 Don't lock into radar. 778 00:40:11,040 --> 00:40:12,980 Okay, it's fine, son. It's fine. 779 00:40:13,080 --> 00:40:15,162 You just blew up our entire planet. 780 00:40:15,480 --> 00:40:17,767 Ain't no way Inky's catching up to you! 781 00:40:20,560 --> 00:40:23,980 I want you to focus mostly on the ships. 782 00:40:24,080 --> 00:40:27,660 Every 10,000 points, you get another triangle ship. 783 00:40:27,760 --> 00:40:29,460 That's a good thing. 784 00:40:29,560 --> 00:40:30,800 (ARCADE GAME PINGING) 785 00:40:31,680 --> 00:40:32,841 Damn. 786 00:40:33,200 --> 00:40:35,340 He's still the master. 787 00:40:35,440 --> 00:40:36,740 COOPER: This is just like when we were dating. 788 00:40:36,840 --> 00:40:39,140 JANE: Aw. COOPER: No distractions, just us. 789 00:40:39,240 --> 00:40:40,924 (CHUCKLES) And cake. 790 00:40:41,040 --> 00:40:43,980 Whoa, Big Man. Settle down there with that butterscotch frosting. 791 00:40:44,080 --> 00:40:45,940 What? Too much? Well, you know what? 792 00:40:46,040 --> 00:40:48,780 You're really not gonna like what I do with the rainbow sprinkles. 793 00:40:48,880 --> 00:40:51,780 - Come on now! No! I love it! - Will! No! 794 00:40:51,880 --> 00:40:53,660 Here comes the sprinkle monster! 795 00:40:53,760 --> 00:40:55,410 - (GROWLING) - (CHUCKLING) 796 00:40:56,960 --> 00:40:58,041 Mr. President. 797 00:40:58,640 --> 00:40:59,700 (MUFFLED) Yes, Jennifer. 798 00:40:59,800 --> 00:41:02,940 We just received an alien transmission from the "Where's the Beef?" lady. 799 00:41:03,040 --> 00:41:04,060 (STUTTERS) What did she say? 800 00:41:04,160 --> 00:41:06,380 First of all, she asked where the beef was. 801 00:41:06,480 --> 00:41:09,460 Then she said that the next battle was on at sundown tomorrow. 802 00:41:09,560 --> 00:41:13,060 5130' 29" latitude. 09' 42" longitude. 803 00:41:13,160 --> 00:41:14,207 Where is that? 804 00:41:37,080 --> 00:41:38,605 Go! Go! Go! Move! Move! Move! 805 00:41:42,680 --> 00:41:43,681 (GRUNTS) 806 00:41:48,920 --> 00:41:50,445 Clear the area! 807 00:41:50,760 --> 00:41:53,500 The lot of ya, come on! Move it! 808 00:41:53,600 --> 00:41:55,180 I said, move it! 809 00:41:55,280 --> 00:41:57,820 - What's all this then, mate? - Hey, I got this. Hi. 810 00:41:57,920 --> 00:41:59,180 We're Americans. 811 00:41:59,280 --> 00:42:01,340 Our Navy SEALs were given permission by your government 812 00:42:01,440 --> 00:42:04,260 to prepare for an extraterrestrial invasion, 813 00:42:04,360 --> 00:42:07,842 which we believe will occur at these coordinates in approximately 60 minutes. 814 00:42:09,040 --> 00:42:10,166 We're shootin' a beer commercial. 815 00:42:11,600 --> 00:42:13,648 Oh, right, then. Break a leg, then, yeah? 816 00:42:14,160 --> 00:42:17,340 Whoa, whoa, whoa. What was that, man? Why'd you lie to him? 817 00:42:17,440 --> 00:42:20,125 I'm trying not to cause total panic, Yank. 818 00:42:20,880 --> 00:42:21,961 And, you... 819 00:42:23,120 --> 00:42:26,522 I don't want to hear another word out of you. All right? 820 00:42:28,520 --> 00:42:29,965 You walkin' wiener coat. 821 00:42:30,640 --> 00:42:32,802 What's a wiener coat? 822 00:42:33,600 --> 00:42:35,648 (SIRENS BLARING) 823 00:42:36,400 --> 00:42:40,041 Madam Prime Minister, I can't thank you enough for your cooperation on this. 824 00:42:40,160 --> 00:42:41,700 But of course, Will. 825 00:42:41,800 --> 00:42:44,060 Well, I trust with the concord of our powers 826 00:42:44,160 --> 00:42:46,891 we can duff up the jiggery-pokery of these blighters 827 00:42:47,000 --> 00:42:48,809 and send them scuffering back 828 00:42:48,920 --> 00:42:51,180 to the fractious firmament from whence they came! 829 00:42:51,280 --> 00:42:52,281 I know, right? 830 00:42:52,920 --> 00:42:54,160 Bang on! 831 00:42:54,320 --> 00:42:55,321 (CHUCKLING) 832 00:42:56,240 --> 00:42:58,004 (SOFTLY) No idea what she just said. 833 00:43:01,040 --> 00:43:03,008 I just wanna touch it. 834 00:43:03,720 --> 00:43:07,770 Easy with those light cannons, gentlemen. We don't have any backups. 835 00:43:08,600 --> 00:43:10,580 These ray guns gonna work, Van Patten? 836 00:43:10,680 --> 00:43:12,060 We had no way to field-test them, sir. 837 00:43:12,160 --> 00:43:14,740 But our computer models show a great likelihood of effectiveness. 838 00:43:14,840 --> 00:43:18,460 "Great likelihood"? You're sending my men into battle with untested ordnance? 839 00:43:18,560 --> 00:43:21,723 I had two days to do things never done before on this planet, sir. 840 00:43:22,200 --> 00:43:24,521 Just remember who you're talking to, missy. 841 00:43:25,600 --> 00:43:26,580 HILL: All right! 842 00:43:26,680 --> 00:43:31,208 Anybody who doesn't need to be here, follow me to the support area. 843 00:43:32,040 --> 00:43:33,690 That means you two nipple-twisters. 844 00:43:35,520 --> 00:43:36,567 Move it! 845 00:43:37,760 --> 00:43:40,206 Hey, Colonel. Don't worry. They're gonna work. 846 00:43:42,520 --> 00:43:45,780 The US military was attacked and what does President Cooper do? 847 00:43:45,880 --> 00:43:48,020 His critics say, "Nothing." 848 00:43:48,120 --> 00:43:51,260 That's not strictly true. He made a cake. 849 00:43:51,360 --> 00:43:53,283 No, because I'm the sprinkle monster! 850 00:43:53,400 --> 00:43:55,084 - You are my sprinkle monster! - (GROWLING) 851 00:43:56,240 --> 00:43:57,287 (COOPER CHUCKLING ON TV) 852 00:43:57,400 --> 00:43:59,721 - Let's put that on pause, Sean. - Thank you. 853 00:44:02,720 --> 00:44:04,051 - Turn it off. - (CLEARS THROAT) 854 00:44:04,560 --> 00:44:05,891 Apologies, Will. 855 00:44:06,560 --> 00:44:10,020 Just wanted to spend some quality time with the wife. 856 00:44:10,120 --> 00:44:11,500 Oh, I understand. 857 00:44:11,600 --> 00:44:14,620 My husband actually said that we don't spend time together like we used to, 858 00:44:14,720 --> 00:44:18,460 so I took him to one of those, um, do-it-yourself pottery studios. 859 00:44:18,560 --> 00:44:22,406 And he made me a "World's Sexiest Prime Minister" coffee mug. 860 00:44:22,840 --> 00:44:25,810 Well, maybe he sees somethin' that nobody else does, you know. (CHUCKLES) 861 00:44:27,400 --> 00:44:28,401 (CLEARS THROAT) 862 00:44:28,600 --> 00:44:30,602 Anything, Colonel Van Patten? 863 00:44:31,080 --> 00:44:33,321 It's eerily quiet, Mr. President. 864 00:44:42,960 --> 00:44:43,980 In case it's Space Invaders, 865 00:44:44,080 --> 00:44:45,081 I just thought of something I should tell... 866 00:44:45,200 --> 00:44:47,009 Please return to the support area! 867 00:44:47,120 --> 00:44:49,260 Okay, but there's a 5 plus 1 formation, all right? 868 00:44:49,360 --> 00:44:52,842 If we need ya, we know where to find ya. All right? 869 00:44:52,960 --> 00:44:54,325 Now, bugger off. 870 00:44:55,880 --> 00:44:57,291 Bloody geek. 871 00:45:36,480 --> 00:45:38,050 It's Centipede. 872 00:45:43,840 --> 00:45:46,740 Okay, boys! Do exactly what we talked about! 873 00:45:46,840 --> 00:45:49,060 Shoot each centipede from the head down! 874 00:45:49,160 --> 00:45:53,051 Do not hit him in the middle or he will split into two! 875 00:46:09,280 --> 00:46:12,180 No! No! Didn't we just say don't split him in half? 876 00:46:12,280 --> 00:46:13,460 Shoot for the head! 877 00:46:13,560 --> 00:46:15,688 The mushroom things are in the way! 878 00:46:16,840 --> 00:46:18,888 You shoot the mushroom things! Like the game! 879 00:46:22,560 --> 00:46:26,121 Guys, every time he hits a mushroom, he's gonna change direction! 880 00:46:28,120 --> 00:46:31,420 My God! Will you please find the pattern and anticipate! 881 00:46:31,520 --> 00:46:33,540 I don't know the patterns! 882 00:46:33,640 --> 00:46:35,483 Sergeant Duff! 12 o'clock! 883 00:46:36,720 --> 00:46:37,721 (GROWLING) 884 00:46:38,760 --> 00:46:41,445 (GROANING) 885 00:46:44,640 --> 00:46:45,641 (GASPS) 886 00:46:48,800 --> 00:46:50,006 (SNARLING) 887 00:46:50,640 --> 00:46:53,246 What the hell kind of beer commercial is this? 888 00:46:53,720 --> 00:46:58,408 If I say it's a beer commercial, it's a bloody beer commercial. 889 00:47:06,760 --> 00:47:08,410 Get your flabby ass back here, Yank! 890 00:47:30,280 --> 00:47:32,340 - (ALL CHEERING) - Shock and awe, baby! 891 00:47:32,440 --> 00:47:34,180 High score, alien trash! 892 00:47:34,280 --> 00:47:35,740 You messed with the wrong planet! 893 00:47:35,840 --> 00:47:37,820 From Land's End to John o'Groats! 894 00:47:37,920 --> 00:47:40,366 - What the hell are you saying? - I don't know! 895 00:47:42,080 --> 00:47:43,220 (BRENNER GRUNTS) 896 00:47:43,320 --> 00:47:47,260 Hey, Ludlow! Grab a light cannon! Get out here now! I need your help! 897 00:47:47,360 --> 00:47:49,860 Me? No! Look at me! I look delicious! 898 00:47:49,960 --> 00:47:52,420 They'll gobble me up like space dim sum! 899 00:47:52,520 --> 00:47:53,521 (PIXELS CLICKING) 900 00:47:54,720 --> 00:47:56,020 BRENNER: It's level two! 901 00:47:56,120 --> 00:47:58,407 We're the only ones who can do this! 902 00:47:58,520 --> 00:48:00,363 Come on! You're the Wonder Kid! 903 00:48:00,480 --> 00:48:03,484 You have no authority to dispense weapons here, Mr. Brenner! 904 00:48:03,800 --> 00:48:05,131 Mr. President? 905 00:48:05,720 --> 00:48:07,882 Let the nerds take over. 906 00:48:08,560 --> 00:48:10,020 VIOLET: What was that, sir? 907 00:48:10,120 --> 00:48:12,407 Let the nerds take over! 908 00:48:14,040 --> 00:48:15,724 Let the nerds take over! 909 00:48:17,360 --> 00:48:18,805 Brenner's right. 910 00:48:20,160 --> 00:48:21,810 I am the Wonder Kid. 911 00:48:23,480 --> 00:48:25,050 (WORKING FOR THE WEEKEND PLAYING) 912 00:48:30,240 --> 00:48:36,700 Everyone's watching to see what you will do 913 00:48:36,800 --> 00:48:41,044 Everyone's looking at you, oh 914 00:48:41,160 --> 00:48:42,420 This is the best, huh? 915 00:48:42,520 --> 00:48:46,570 I've never been happier and more alive! 916 00:48:47,000 --> 00:48:48,001 (BRENNER LAUGHING) 917 00:48:49,840 --> 00:48:53,460 Everyone's trying to get it right 918 00:48:53,560 --> 00:48:56,260 Get it right 919 00:48:56,360 --> 00:48:59,682 Everybody's working for the weekend 920 00:49:00,040 --> 00:49:01,041 (PINGING) 921 00:49:03,000 --> 00:49:05,940 Everybody wants a new romance 922 00:49:06,040 --> 00:49:07,280 (SCREAMING) 923 00:49:09,400 --> 00:49:11,940 Everybody's going off the deep end 924 00:49:12,040 --> 00:49:14,725 Okay. You can let go of each other now. 925 00:49:16,080 --> 00:49:19,260 Everybody needs a second chance 926 00:49:19,360 --> 00:49:20,740 Oh 927 00:49:20,840 --> 00:49:24,260 You want a piece of my heart? 928 00:49:24,360 --> 00:49:26,488 All right, you finish that. I'll finish this. 929 00:49:29,400 --> 00:49:30,401 (TIRES SCREECHING) 930 00:49:32,280 --> 00:49:35,966 It's been 30 years since I kicked your butt, and it's gonna happen again! 931 00:49:36,400 --> 00:49:38,129 (PEOPLE SCREAMING) 932 00:49:41,520 --> 00:49:42,521 (SCREAMS) 933 00:49:49,320 --> 00:49:50,651 With the arms! 934 00:49:51,160 --> 00:49:52,571 Let's take it forward. 935 00:49:54,440 --> 00:49:55,930 Then take it back. 936 00:49:58,280 --> 00:49:59,930 - Enjoy it! - BRENNER: Hey! 937 00:50:06,600 --> 00:50:07,601 Come here! 938 00:50:07,800 --> 00:50:08,801 (PEOPLE CLAMORING) 939 00:50:09,080 --> 00:50:10,081 You little... (GRUNTS) 940 00:50:20,000 --> 00:50:22,580 Who are you, mister? 941 00:50:22,680 --> 00:50:25,650 Son, I'm just a loser who's good at old video games. 942 00:50:26,200 --> 00:50:28,441 Well, thank God for that. 943 00:50:28,720 --> 00:50:30,961 - Drinks are on the US government! - (ALL CHEERING) 944 00:50:32,200 --> 00:50:33,860 Which is covering up the truth 945 00:50:33,960 --> 00:50:36,440 about the ancient pyramid under the Hoover Dam! 946 00:50:38,800 --> 00:50:40,100 You know, you're all right, Brenner. 947 00:50:40,200 --> 00:50:42,123 You're all right too, snobby. 948 00:50:42,960 --> 00:50:45,860 You gonna nurse that all night long, or when are you gonna start hittin' it? 949 00:50:45,960 --> 00:50:48,361 We ding up a few foreign belligerents, beer is fine. 950 00:50:48,480 --> 00:50:50,660 We defeat a full-on alien invasion, 951 00:50:50,760 --> 00:50:53,604 I'm thinking something a little stronger. 952 00:50:54,640 --> 00:50:55,580 - Mmm-hmm. - No. 953 00:50:55,680 --> 00:50:57,860 You're really challenging me to drink you under the table? 954 00:50:57,960 --> 00:50:58,900 - You got it. - Oh! 955 00:50:59,000 --> 00:51:00,968 I'm not so sure you can, buddy. 956 00:51:01,360 --> 00:51:03,780 I was the vodka shot record holder in my class at West Point. 957 00:51:03,880 --> 00:51:06,100 Well, one time I drank 15 milkshakes at Denny's, 958 00:51:06,200 --> 00:51:07,884 so we'll see what happens. 959 00:51:08,360 --> 00:51:10,540 - Where are my gamers at, huh? - (CHEERING) 960 00:51:10,640 --> 00:51:13,820 Looks like all the time you wasted when we were kids is finally payin' off. 961 00:51:13,920 --> 00:51:15,740 - Yeah, baby. - All right, huh? 962 00:51:15,840 --> 00:51:18,047 Sir, may I have the honor of pouring you a frosty? 963 00:51:18,480 --> 00:51:21,404 The President can't be seen drinking during times of crisis. 964 00:51:22,680 --> 00:51:23,780 So nobody look! 965 00:51:23,880 --> 00:51:25,769 - That's it. Look away! - (ALL CHEERING) 966 00:51:26,360 --> 00:51:28,220 MR. ROARKE ON TV: (IN SPANISH ACCENT) Inhabitants of Earth. 967 00:51:28,320 --> 00:51:31,881 Congratulations, you have won this battle. 968 00:51:33,160 --> 00:51:37,529 Please accept one of our warriors as a trophy of your victory. 969 00:51:40,360 --> 00:51:41,361 (LAUGHING) 970 00:51:43,000 --> 00:51:44,001 (BARKING) 971 00:51:44,920 --> 00:51:45,921 Aw. 972 00:51:46,360 --> 00:51:48,580 (IN FRENCH ACCENT) The next challenge will not be as easy. 973 00:51:48,680 --> 00:51:51,620 The details will be sent via this signal shortly 974 00:51:51,720 --> 00:51:55,520 Remember, we are still leading two battles to one. 975 00:51:56,200 --> 00:52:00,260 One more loss for you will mean the annihilation of your world. 976 00:52:00,360 --> 00:52:02,966 Good luck and may the best planet win. 977 00:52:05,600 --> 00:52:06,647 COOPER: Well, you heard 'em. 978 00:52:06,920 --> 00:52:08,206 Let's get back to work. 979 00:52:08,360 --> 00:52:10,140 We gotta get you guys ready for your next battle. 980 00:52:10,240 --> 00:52:11,620 Battle? Us? Huh? 981 00:52:11,720 --> 00:52:13,290 This is like a regular thing now? 982 00:52:13,400 --> 00:52:16,210 Remember when I told you that you were meant for something more in life? 983 00:52:16,320 --> 00:52:17,540 Yeah. 984 00:52:17,640 --> 00:52:19,300 This could be it, buddy. 985 00:52:19,400 --> 00:52:21,300 There's nobody better than you. 986 00:52:21,400 --> 00:52:22,380 LUDLOW: Well, 987 00:52:22,480 --> 00:52:24,881 (INHALES SHARPLY) not at every game. 988 00:52:25,480 --> 00:52:28,131 No. No! Never gonna happen. 989 00:52:29,120 --> 00:52:30,406 You know, he's right, Brenner. 990 00:52:30,600 --> 00:52:33,080 We don't even know where to find that idiot! 991 00:52:33,440 --> 00:52:35,283 (SIRENS WAILING) 992 00:52:37,280 --> 00:52:40,140 VIOLET: Eddie Plant. Married and divorced four times, 993 00:52:40,240 --> 00:52:43,740 declared bankruptcy in 1991 and 2004. 994 00:52:43,840 --> 00:52:46,140 In 2005, he was caught hacking cell phone companies 995 00:52:46,240 --> 00:52:48,481 and adding one of those fees you see on your bill every month, 996 00:52:48,600 --> 00:52:50,260 - but have no idea what it is. - What an idiot. 997 00:52:50,360 --> 00:52:52,460 Made about 50 million before he was convicted and sentenced 998 00:52:52,560 --> 00:52:54,449 to 20 years in prison. 999 00:52:58,360 --> 00:53:00,740 Guards, get me outta here. 1000 00:53:00,840 --> 00:53:03,220 It's that mean Centipede killer. 1001 00:53:03,320 --> 00:53:06,500 I hope he don't zap me with his space gun. 1002 00:53:06,600 --> 00:53:08,060 How are you, Eddie? 1003 00:53:08,160 --> 00:53:10,020 'Sup, Second Place? 1004 00:53:10,120 --> 00:53:12,380 Oh! And your sidekick here, 1005 00:53:12,480 --> 00:53:13,766 Presi-donut. 1006 00:53:14,480 --> 00:53:18,380 I didn't know you can have an approval rating so catatastrophic. 1007 00:53:18,480 --> 00:53:21,340 - Okay, look, Eddie, here's what we need. - EDDIE: I know what you need. 1008 00:53:21,440 --> 00:53:23,540 You need the Fire Blaster. 1009 00:53:23,640 --> 00:53:24,900 Who's the Fire Blaster? 1010 00:53:25,000 --> 00:53:27,731 Me. That's my nickname, sugar buns. 1011 00:53:28,200 --> 00:53:30,580 Oh, yeah. That's right. The one you made up for yourself. 1012 00:53:30,680 --> 00:53:32,220 Yeah. Who cares who made it up? 1013 00:53:32,320 --> 00:53:33,900 It's totally tubular! 1014 00:53:34,000 --> 00:53:34,980 Yeah. 1015 00:53:35,080 --> 00:53:40,060 See, this is why I don't think I can have Brenner on my team. 1016 00:53:40,160 --> 00:53:41,700 He's just not really a gamer. 1017 00:53:41,800 --> 00:53:44,460 Break out a bag of quarters. Pick a game. I'll destroy you at it. 1018 00:53:44,560 --> 00:53:46,528 Oh, I'll pick a game, all right. 1019 00:53:46,920 --> 00:53:48,126 (GIBBERING) 1020 00:53:48,560 --> 00:53:51,380 - Okay. I'm leaving. - No, no, no. Hey, here, come on. 1021 00:53:51,480 --> 00:53:52,561 Sit down. 1022 00:53:53,720 --> 00:53:55,380 Okay, in exchange for helping us, 1023 00:53:55,480 --> 00:53:59,326 I will personally speak to the parole board about reducing your sentence. 1024 00:54:02,560 --> 00:54:04,642 - Pass. - Pass? 1025 00:54:05,000 --> 00:54:07,100 That deal don't work for Eddie Plant. 1026 00:54:07,200 --> 00:54:10,488 You want the Fire Blaster's help, he has some demands. 1027 00:54:10,840 --> 00:54:12,080 Demands? 1028 00:54:20,240 --> 00:54:22,402 The Bifocal Blaster is here, by the way. 1029 00:54:26,520 --> 00:54:27,660 I want an island. 1030 00:54:27,760 --> 00:54:28,900 Oh, my God. 1031 00:54:29,000 --> 00:54:31,820 There are 18,617 named islands 1032 00:54:31,920 --> 00:54:34,420 that are part of the United States and its territories. 1033 00:54:34,520 --> 00:54:37,740 Not to mention all the countless unnamed ones, 1034 00:54:37,840 --> 00:54:40,684 like the soon-to-be-called Edwahii. 1035 00:54:41,120 --> 00:54:42,565 Mmm. You're not getting an island. 1036 00:54:43,440 --> 00:54:46,500 Then I want a full pardon. I wanna get outta here for good. 1037 00:54:46,600 --> 00:54:49,524 And after I do, I don't wanna pay no taxes like, 1038 00:54:49,640 --> 00:54:50,700 forever. 1039 00:54:50,800 --> 00:54:53,860 And no sales tax. If I wanna buy some, for instance, gum, 1040 00:54:53,960 --> 00:54:56,700 I wanna flash me a card that says "I saved the world." 1041 00:54:56,800 --> 00:54:59,929 I don't have to pay no shitballs taxes on the gum. 1042 00:55:01,880 --> 00:55:05,260 And I want a stealth-attack helicopter, like they fly over the Super Bowl 1043 00:55:05,360 --> 00:55:07,340 at my disposal, at all times. 1044 00:55:07,440 --> 00:55:09,124 You know, so I can fly around. 1045 00:55:09,240 --> 00:55:12,562 If the world's still here, I don't wanna deal with traffic no more. 1046 00:55:13,760 --> 00:55:15,171 And lastly, 1047 00:55:16,560 --> 00:55:18,847 I want you to set up a romantic rendezvous 1048 00:55:18,960 --> 00:55:22,300 between me, Serena Williams and Martha Stewart 1049 00:55:22,400 --> 00:55:24,860 in the Lincoln Bedroom. 1050 00:55:24,960 --> 00:55:29,124 Number one. You're not getting a helicopter or any sort of flying or driving vehicle. 1051 00:55:29,320 --> 00:55:31,561 Number two. I'm pretty sure the federal government 1052 00:55:31,680 --> 00:55:34,140 could do without your income taxes and be fine. 1053 00:55:34,240 --> 00:55:38,740 And number three. If you help us beat these things, 1054 00:55:38,840 --> 00:55:40,808 I think we can get you outta here. 1055 00:55:42,080 --> 00:55:44,526 And the Martha-Serena sandwich? 1056 00:55:44,960 --> 00:55:47,060 Pick one of 'em. We'll set up a coffee. 1057 00:55:47,160 --> 00:55:48,924 Serena Williams. And we are closed. 1058 00:55:50,320 --> 00:55:51,321 (CELL PHONE VIBRATING) 1059 00:55:52,920 --> 00:55:53,921 Hello? 1060 00:55:55,280 --> 00:55:56,691 I understand. 1061 00:55:58,160 --> 00:56:00,020 It's happening tonight. 1062 00:56:00,120 --> 00:56:01,180 Where? 1063 00:56:01,280 --> 00:56:02,281 New York City. 1064 00:56:03,040 --> 00:56:05,580 Oh! Fuhgeddaboutit! 1065 00:56:05,680 --> 00:56:08,650 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! (CHUCKLING) 1066 00:56:26,600 --> 00:56:28,020 Hello, Big Apple. 1067 00:56:28,120 --> 00:56:30,851 - The cavalry has arrived. - (PEOPLE CHEERING) 1068 00:56:37,600 --> 00:56:39,060 Thanks for comin'. 1069 00:56:39,160 --> 00:56:42,260 We saw how you guys took care of the centipedes. 1070 00:56:42,360 --> 00:56:44,060 We hope you can do the same for us. 1071 00:56:44,160 --> 00:56:46,845 We hope so also. Well, what are we dealin' with? 1072 00:56:47,520 --> 00:56:48,851 Over here. 1073 00:56:50,520 --> 00:56:53,729 Rookie, just tell 'em what you saw. 1074 00:56:55,000 --> 00:56:56,580 It was awful. 1075 00:56:56,680 --> 00:56:59,180 It was like one of those monster movies, you know? 1076 00:56:59,280 --> 00:57:00,340 But this time 1077 00:57:00,440 --> 00:57:01,940 (WHISPERING) the monster was real. 1078 00:57:02,040 --> 00:57:03,963 And who was this monster? 1079 00:57:05,520 --> 00:57:06,740 Pac-Man. 1080 00:57:06,840 --> 00:57:08,740 Pac-Man? Boom. That's my jam. 1081 00:57:08,840 --> 00:57:10,740 Let's get us some light cannons and blow this sucker back 1082 00:57:10,840 --> 00:57:12,260 to whatever planet it came from. 1083 00:57:12,360 --> 00:57:14,740 No! No, light cannons don't kill Pac-Man. 1084 00:57:14,840 --> 00:57:16,300 Those little ghosts do. 1085 00:57:16,400 --> 00:57:18,780 Boom! Let's get us some little ghosts. 1086 00:57:18,880 --> 00:57:20,484 You want ghosts? 1087 00:57:21,040 --> 00:57:22,530 She's got ghosts. 1088 00:57:32,360 --> 00:57:35,420 We used the energy force-field technology from the cube 1089 00:57:35,520 --> 00:57:38,420 to develop four mini-generators for each of the cars. 1090 00:57:38,520 --> 00:57:39,487 Ghosts. 1091 00:57:39,600 --> 00:57:42,860 We're calling them XM950 attack modules. 1092 00:57:42,960 --> 00:57:44,500 - (WHISTLES) - Okay and we're callin' 'em Mini Ghosts 1093 00:57:44,600 --> 00:57:47,060 'cause we'll never remember what you just said. 1094 00:57:47,160 --> 00:57:49,481 Why are there four of 'em? There's only three of us. Who's our fourth? 1095 00:57:50,000 --> 00:57:53,402 May I introduce to you Professor Toru Iwatani. 1096 00:57:55,880 --> 00:57:57,564 The creator of Pac-Man. 1097 00:58:01,560 --> 00:58:02,561 (SPEAKING JAPANESE) 1098 00:58:12,800 --> 00:58:14,140 You speak Japanese? 1099 00:58:14,240 --> 00:58:15,571 No. 1100 00:58:16,800 --> 00:58:17,940 Sir, what an honor. 1101 00:58:18,040 --> 00:58:20,327 Thanks for all the joy you brought to our lives. 1102 00:58:20,640 --> 00:58:21,880 Awesome. 1103 00:58:23,800 --> 00:58:26,565 I made your game my bitch. 1104 00:58:29,280 --> 00:58:31,100 What is a 1105 00:58:31,200 --> 00:58:32,420 "bitch"? 1106 00:58:32,520 --> 00:58:34,124 Don't worry about it. He's a criminal. 1107 00:58:38,520 --> 00:58:39,540 (SEATBELT CLICKS) 1108 00:58:39,640 --> 00:58:41,540 - You all right? - Yeah. 1109 00:58:41,640 --> 00:58:44,980 Okay, now, assuming they play by the rules of the game like they did with Centipede, 1110 00:58:45,080 --> 00:58:48,926 if you guys hit Pac-Man three times with this energy field, we win. 1111 00:58:49,240 --> 00:58:51,163 Ludlow's right. You do smell good. 1112 00:58:53,160 --> 00:58:54,810 - Good luck. - Yeah. 1113 00:58:58,120 --> 00:59:00,487 (SIRENS WAILING) 1114 00:59:08,440 --> 00:59:10,820 Gentlemen, I'll be sending Pac-Man's current coordinates 1115 00:59:10,920 --> 00:59:12,604 to each of your car's GPSes. 1116 00:59:12,800 --> 00:59:14,131 Let's locate and eliminate. 1117 00:59:16,480 --> 00:59:17,606 Come on, guys. 1118 00:59:18,240 --> 00:59:19,730 (PEOPLE CLAMORING) 1119 00:59:25,480 --> 00:59:27,244 (TIRES SCREECHING) 1120 00:59:37,000 --> 00:59:39,002 Pac-Man's a bad guy? 1121 00:59:41,800 --> 00:59:42,801 (MAN GRUNTS) 1122 00:59:43,960 --> 00:59:45,849 Pac-Man is not bad! 1123 00:59:46,520 --> 00:59:49,842 I created him to bring joy to all the people of the world. 1124 00:59:50,000 --> 00:59:51,206 They have brainwashed him! 1125 00:59:53,680 --> 00:59:57,651 Deep down, he's kind, gentle. 1126 00:59:58,880 --> 01:00:02,202 Someone you can tell your troubles to or grab a hamburger with. 1127 01:00:07,640 --> 01:00:08,880 You'll see. 1128 01:00:13,200 --> 01:00:15,420 Professor Iwatani, get back in the car! 1129 01:00:15,520 --> 01:00:17,460 Professor Iwatani, what are you doin'? 1130 01:00:17,560 --> 01:00:20,006 I will talk to him. He's my son! 1131 01:00:20,160 --> 01:00:21,491 No, that's a bad idea. 1132 01:00:29,080 --> 01:00:30,525 Hello, 1133 01:00:31,240 --> 01:00:33,208 my sweet little boy. 1134 01:00:34,160 --> 01:00:36,003 Look how big you've grown! 1135 01:00:36,680 --> 01:00:38,569 I'm so proud of you. 1136 01:00:39,000 --> 01:00:41,367 It's so sweet. He's so sweet. 1137 01:00:43,240 --> 01:00:45,620 But all these destructive things you're doing, 1138 01:00:45,720 --> 01:00:47,006 it's wrong. 1139 01:00:48,840 --> 01:00:50,444 I'm your father. 1140 01:00:53,520 --> 01:00:54,760 I know 1141 01:00:55,280 --> 01:00:56,406 you're a good boy. 1142 01:01:00,920 --> 01:01:01,921 (BEEPS) 1143 01:01:02,720 --> 01:01:03,980 (SCREAMING) 1144 01:01:04,080 --> 01:01:05,206 No! 1145 01:01:07,360 --> 01:01:10,364 Somebody kill this stupid bitch! 1146 01:01:11,880 --> 01:01:16,761 That was some twisted Pinocchio-Geppetto stuff right there. 1147 01:01:18,600 --> 01:01:19,601 (WOMAN SCREAMING) 1148 01:01:19,960 --> 01:01:21,291 All right, losers! 1149 01:01:22,080 --> 01:01:23,491 - It's three on one. - (ENGINE REVVING) 1150 01:01:23,760 --> 01:01:24,921 Let's hit it. 1151 01:01:39,720 --> 01:01:41,290 (TIRES SCREECHING) 1152 01:01:45,960 --> 01:01:46,961 (SCREAMING) 1153 01:01:54,640 --> 01:01:56,802 Pac-Man's faster than I remember. 1154 01:02:00,120 --> 01:02:02,300 Pac-Man's always been faster than the ghosts. 1155 01:02:02,400 --> 01:02:04,562 We're gonna have to outmaneuver his ass. 1156 01:02:09,200 --> 01:02:10,201 (STRAINED GRUNTING) 1157 01:02:14,120 --> 01:02:17,363 EDDIE: Wonderfro, you and Silver Medal break off. 1158 01:02:18,520 --> 01:02:20,488 I'll stay with Big Yellow. 1159 01:02:22,320 --> 01:02:24,163 (GAME PINGING) 1160 01:02:24,480 --> 01:02:26,482 VIOLET: Whoa, Eddie, how did you do that so fast? 1161 01:02:26,680 --> 01:02:28,523 'Cause I'm the champ, Lieutenant Long Legs. 1162 01:02:30,040 --> 01:02:31,041 (SIREN WAILING) 1163 01:02:34,240 --> 01:02:35,321 Nope! 1164 01:02:36,960 --> 01:02:37,961 What's up? 1165 01:02:41,520 --> 01:02:43,010 Oh, yeah! 1166 01:02:47,960 --> 01:02:48,940 (ALL CHEERING) 1167 01:02:49,040 --> 01:02:50,180 Good one, Eddie. 1168 01:02:50,280 --> 01:02:51,520 (EXHALES) 1169 01:02:52,200 --> 01:02:53,420 BRENNER OVER RADIO: One down. 1170 01:02:53,520 --> 01:02:54,567 Two to go! 1171 01:02:56,840 --> 01:02:57,841 (TIRES SCREECHING) 1172 01:03:00,040 --> 01:03:01,420 All right, Pac-Man Number Two 1173 01:03:01,520 --> 01:03:04,251 just regenerated four streets away headed northbound. 1174 01:03:04,720 --> 01:03:07,900 Turn east at the next intersection. 1175 01:03:08,000 --> 01:03:09,001 Brenner, go straight. 1176 01:03:09,240 --> 01:03:10,260 Got it. 1177 01:03:10,360 --> 01:03:11,964 - VIOLET: Ludlow, go left. - (TIRES SCREECHING) 1178 01:03:13,240 --> 01:03:16,050 Eddie, at the next intersection, turn left. 1179 01:03:17,200 --> 01:03:18,260 LUDLOW: We got him! 1180 01:03:18,360 --> 01:03:20,203 He's got nowhere to go! 1181 01:03:22,560 --> 01:03:23,561 (TIRES SCREECHING) 1182 01:03:25,920 --> 01:03:28,127 Oh, God. No! 1183 01:03:28,240 --> 01:03:29,300 "Oh, God. No," what? 1184 01:03:29,400 --> 01:03:30,660 He ate the power pellet. 1185 01:03:30,760 --> 01:03:33,127 Pac-Man's got 10 seconds where he can eat us. 1186 01:03:36,360 --> 01:03:37,885 Why me? 1187 01:03:45,560 --> 01:03:47,420 Oh, God. Don't eat me, don't eat me, don't eat me. 1188 01:03:47,520 --> 01:03:48,931 Please, please, don't eat me! 1189 01:03:50,920 --> 01:03:52,206 (SCREAMING) 1190 01:03:55,560 --> 01:03:57,540 Guys! Help! 1191 01:03:57,640 --> 01:03:59,768 I'm gonna die a virgin! 1192 01:04:04,080 --> 01:04:05,081 (SCREAMING) 1193 01:04:13,880 --> 01:04:16,611 Why are you doing this to me? 1194 01:04:18,560 --> 01:04:20,483 You've been brainwashed! 1195 01:04:20,640 --> 01:04:23,166 You're a good boy! 1196 01:04:23,440 --> 01:04:25,442 Ludlow, run! Pump your legs! Go, baby! 1197 01:04:26,240 --> 01:04:27,241 (TIRES SCREECHING) 1198 01:04:30,400 --> 01:04:31,970 - (ALL CHEERING) - Attaboy, Eddie! 1199 01:04:32,360 --> 01:04:36,160 (CHUCKLES) You just got fire-blasted, sucka. 1200 01:04:36,640 --> 01:04:37,620 Uh-huh. 1201 01:04:37,720 --> 01:04:38,721 (THUDS) 1202 01:04:38,840 --> 01:04:40,968 (SIGHS) What? 1203 01:04:41,480 --> 01:04:43,801 How the hell did he get over there so fast? 1204 01:04:45,680 --> 01:04:46,841 Way to go, champ. 1205 01:04:47,000 --> 01:04:49,367 Aren't you glad you sprung me, Second Place? 1206 01:04:49,640 --> 01:04:51,500 Yeah, thrilled. 1207 01:04:51,600 --> 01:04:54,206 One more to go and it's happy hour. 1208 01:05:04,800 --> 01:05:07,531 So I guess they're just leaving me here. 1209 01:05:12,840 --> 01:05:15,161 Now it's time for the hat trick. 1210 01:05:22,320 --> 01:05:23,731 (SCREAMING) 1211 01:05:27,280 --> 01:05:28,327 Wow! 1212 01:05:28,640 --> 01:05:30,300 Brenner, it's on you. 1213 01:05:30,400 --> 01:05:32,940 There are still three other power pellets out there. 1214 01:05:33,040 --> 01:05:34,530 So stay alert. 1215 01:05:34,720 --> 01:05:35,801 I got this. 1216 01:05:36,480 --> 01:05:37,900 If I don't, 1217 01:05:38,000 --> 01:05:39,684 the world ends. 1218 01:05:39,840 --> 01:05:41,365 Can't let that happen. 1219 01:05:41,520 --> 01:05:43,682 Come on, Brenner. Come on. 1220 01:05:46,040 --> 01:05:47,371 (TIRES SCREECHING) 1221 01:05:49,400 --> 01:05:52,220 Brenner, he's leading you directly towards one of the power pellets. 1222 01:05:52,320 --> 01:05:53,765 Get out of there. 1223 01:05:55,560 --> 01:05:56,641 (BRAKES SCREECHING) 1224 01:06:01,680 --> 01:06:02,681 One. 1225 01:06:03,200 --> 01:06:04,361 What the hell is he doing? 1226 01:06:05,800 --> 01:06:06,780 Two. 1227 01:06:06,880 --> 01:06:10,140 VIOLET: Damn it, Brenner. I have a son who I'd like to see grow up. 1228 01:06:10,240 --> 01:06:12,049 Three. You'll see your boy grow up. 1229 01:06:15,400 --> 01:06:16,420 Four. 1230 01:06:16,520 --> 01:06:19,251 Brenner, get out! He's going to eat you! 1231 01:06:21,400 --> 01:06:22,447 Five. 1232 01:06:24,920 --> 01:06:26,001 Six. 1233 01:06:28,040 --> 01:06:29,087 Seven. 1234 01:06:31,200 --> 01:06:32,326 Eight. 1235 01:06:33,680 --> 01:06:34,841 Nine. 1236 01:06:40,200 --> 01:06:41,247 Ten. 1237 01:06:46,360 --> 01:06:48,761 - (BREATHING HEAVILY) - (PAC-MAN POWERING DOWN) 1238 01:06:49,160 --> 01:06:50,980 (ALL CHEERING) 1239 01:06:51,080 --> 01:06:54,289 You did it! Brenner! That's the one, baby! 1240 01:06:57,600 --> 01:06:59,090 (ALL CHEERING) 1241 01:07:01,680 --> 01:07:02,806 (CHUCKLES) 1242 01:07:05,280 --> 01:07:06,805 MAN: He's over here! 1243 01:07:07,760 --> 01:07:09,728 (PEOPLE CHEERING) 1244 01:07:16,040 --> 01:07:18,202 (HORN BLARING) 1245 01:07:26,960 --> 01:07:29,850 (INAUDIBLE) 1246 01:07:31,960 --> 01:07:34,327 WOMAN: Fire Blaster, I love you! 1247 01:07:34,840 --> 01:07:35,940 LUDLOW: Hey, guys! 1248 01:07:36,040 --> 01:07:38,820 Sorry. Coming through. I'm one of tonight's heroes. Sorry. 1249 01:07:38,920 --> 01:07:40,001 Hey! 1250 01:07:40,320 --> 01:07:41,367 (SOFTLY) Hey. 1251 01:07:41,960 --> 01:07:43,200 Check it out. 1252 01:07:44,160 --> 01:07:46,925 I think I might have found our next trophy. 1253 01:07:47,360 --> 01:07:50,603 (MUMBLING) 1254 01:07:51,320 --> 01:07:52,651 It's Q*bert. 1255 01:07:52,800 --> 01:07:55,007 Yeah, I know! I know. 1256 01:07:55,840 --> 01:07:57,100 Can I kill it? 1257 01:07:57,200 --> 01:07:58,326 No! 1258 01:07:58,480 --> 01:08:01,563 Let's get to know him a little bit. Ask him some questions. 1259 01:08:01,680 --> 01:08:02,900 And then we'll kill him. 1260 01:08:03,000 --> 01:08:04,047 Huh? 1261 01:08:04,680 --> 01:08:07,411 - I'm joking. Just put the blanket on him. - Q*BERT: Bye. 1262 01:08:07,520 --> 01:08:08,940 - Mr. President! - Mr. President! 1263 01:08:09,040 --> 01:08:10,260 - Yes, Hal. - HAL: Mr. President, 1264 01:08:10,360 --> 01:08:13,900 your approval ratings have tripled since this crisis began. 1265 01:08:14,000 --> 01:08:17,020 Do you feel the heretofore sanguine causata 1266 01:08:17,120 --> 01:08:19,327 are tracking toward an auspicious denouement? 1267 01:08:20,960 --> 01:08:22,580 REPORTER: Oh, shut up, Hal. 1268 01:08:22,680 --> 01:08:25,445 You're just using big words to try to make him look like an idiot. 1269 01:08:26,560 --> 01:08:29,211 We love you, Mr. President. Thank you for saving us. 1270 01:08:30,480 --> 01:08:32,300 Please, don't thank me. 1271 01:08:32,400 --> 01:08:35,882 It's Sam Brenner and his team who have brought us here to the brink of victory. 1272 01:08:36,160 --> 01:08:38,242 And we understand you're holding a soirée in their honor. 1273 01:08:38,560 --> 01:08:41,848 Is that a good idea when another attack may be imminent? 1274 01:08:42,000 --> 01:08:43,140 COOPER: No need to worry. 1275 01:08:43,240 --> 01:08:46,180 They will have their Arcader uniforms on underneath their tuxes, 1276 01:08:46,280 --> 01:08:48,362 ready to go at a moment's notice. 1277 01:08:48,720 --> 01:08:50,220 And for the record, Hal, 1278 01:08:50,320 --> 01:08:53,369 I happen to know what several of those big words meant. 1279 01:08:54,040 --> 01:08:57,700 I drank a few cold sanguines on my last trip to México. 1280 01:08:57,800 --> 01:08:58,780 (ALL LAUGHING) 1281 01:08:58,880 --> 01:09:00,609 Bite on that, Hal! 1282 01:09:00,880 --> 01:09:03,724 ALL: (CHANTING) You! You! You! You! You! 1283 01:09:07,400 --> 01:09:08,481 (TURNS TV OFF) 1284 01:09:10,720 --> 01:09:12,722 I don't know what would be worse. 1285 01:09:13,560 --> 01:09:15,085 Them failing, 1286 01:09:15,560 --> 01:09:18,140 or them actually pulling this off. 1287 01:09:18,240 --> 01:09:19,620 WOMAN: What was that, Jim? 1288 01:09:19,720 --> 01:09:22,087 Can you shut up for five seconds? 1289 01:09:26,800 --> 01:09:28,780 We need to increase the rate of fire. 1290 01:09:28,880 --> 01:09:31,929 Now you already calculated that in your beautiful mind, didn't you? 1291 01:09:33,720 --> 01:09:35,768 BRENNER: There's no rhyme or reason to this game. 1292 01:09:35,920 --> 01:09:39,140 I mean, where are the patterns? He just attacks out of left field. 1293 01:09:39,240 --> 01:09:42,289 Patterns? Is that why you were so good with Pac-Man and Centipede? 1294 01:09:42,440 --> 01:09:43,780 You memorized the patterns? 1295 01:09:43,880 --> 01:09:45,660 Yeah. Only way to beat these things. 1296 01:09:45,760 --> 01:09:48,820 Count the bullets, calculate the speed, crunch the numbers. 1297 01:09:48,920 --> 01:09:50,180 Where's the fun in that? 1298 01:09:50,280 --> 01:09:52,009 Oh, boy. Why? What do you do? 1299 01:09:52,160 --> 01:09:55,164 You gotta pretend you're the guy and you don't wanna die. 1300 01:09:55,320 --> 01:09:58,860 Yeah, that sounds cool, but it's not gonna work every time. 1301 01:09:58,960 --> 01:10:01,167 Well, that's why you have your reset button. 1302 01:10:01,480 --> 01:10:03,642 Yeah, we didn't have those growin' up. 1303 01:10:05,120 --> 01:10:07,060 Most violent game I've ever seen. 1304 01:10:07,160 --> 01:10:08,820 I don't think it's healthy for you. 1305 01:10:08,920 --> 01:10:10,060 It's fine. I can handle it. 1306 01:10:10,160 --> 01:10:12,447 No, I'm not talkin' to you. I'm talkin' to homeboy. 1307 01:10:12,720 --> 01:10:16,327 (SHIVERING) So much blood! 1308 01:10:16,640 --> 01:10:19,007 Yeah. Hey. You know what'll cheer you up? 1309 01:10:19,160 --> 01:10:20,900 - A cheese ball. - Q*BERT: Yep. 1310 01:10:21,000 --> 01:10:22,001 Huh? 1311 01:10:22,280 --> 01:10:23,645 Come on, suck one up. 1312 01:10:24,480 --> 01:10:25,970 - (GULPS) - Take a handful. 1313 01:10:27,960 --> 01:10:31,203 That was smooth. (CHUCKLING) That was very smooth. 1314 01:10:31,360 --> 01:10:33,140 You know, we should get him some exercise. 1315 01:10:33,240 --> 01:10:35,004 Maybe throw him on the trampoline for a little bit? 1316 01:10:35,160 --> 01:10:37,380 Q*BERT: Trampoline! Trampoline! Trampoline! 1317 01:10:37,480 --> 01:10:38,900 Okay. How about me and him do that 1318 01:10:39,000 --> 01:10:42,049 while you go ask my mom to the ball tomorrow night? 1319 01:10:42,360 --> 01:10:44,647 Unfortunately, I'm not attracted to your mother. 1320 01:10:44,840 --> 01:10:46,490 Q*BERT: Bullcrap. 1321 01:10:46,640 --> 01:10:48,210 You're right, I am. Okay. 1322 01:10:48,360 --> 01:10:49,850 Here. Finish these. 1323 01:10:50,520 --> 01:10:53,205 - You're gettin' chubby. - (Q*BERT CHUCKLES) 1324 01:10:54,840 --> 01:10:55,966 - Hi. - (Q*BERT WHOOPING) 1325 01:10:56,640 --> 01:10:57,687 Hi. 1326 01:10:59,000 --> 01:11:00,161 So... 1327 01:11:01,400 --> 01:11:02,526 So... 1328 01:11:02,880 --> 01:11:03,881 Q*BERT: Whoo! 1329 01:11:05,840 --> 01:11:06,841 (LAUGHING) 1330 01:11:09,440 --> 01:11:10,700 Sorry! 1331 01:11:10,800 --> 01:11:12,962 Q*BERT: Again! Again! Again! Again! 1332 01:11:13,800 --> 01:11:17,740 So I'm feeling obligated to make an appearance at that thing tomorrow night. 1333 01:11:17,840 --> 01:11:19,620 I was wondering, when you got there, 1334 01:11:19,720 --> 01:11:23,420 if possibly you'd like to hang out with me while I was there? 1335 01:11:23,520 --> 01:11:24,726 - Like a date? - Like a date, but... 1336 01:11:24,840 --> 01:11:25,860 - Ooh! - Yeah. 1337 01:11:25,960 --> 01:11:27,380 I dunno about that. 1338 01:11:27,480 --> 01:11:29,780 I'm a snob. I have mental problems, so... 1339 01:11:29,880 --> 01:11:32,060 Well, you know, you are and you do, 1340 01:11:32,160 --> 01:11:34,686 but I'm willin' to overlook that for the evening. 1341 01:11:35,200 --> 01:11:36,140 Okay. 1342 01:11:36,240 --> 01:11:37,526 - You will? - Mmm-hmm. 1343 01:11:39,320 --> 01:11:41,687 (MUSIC PLAYING) 1344 01:11:51,320 --> 01:11:52,685 MAN: Three, four. 1345 01:11:52,880 --> 01:11:54,291 (TRIUMPHANT MUSIC PLAYING) 1346 01:11:55,760 --> 01:11:58,140 - Thank you. Thank you. - Thanks. 1347 01:11:58,240 --> 01:12:00,049 Nice welcome, for a change, huh? 1348 01:12:05,720 --> 01:12:08,371 Bring it down, Travolta. Bring it down. 1349 01:12:11,080 --> 01:12:14,084 They love the Big Man! Good to see the respect, pal. 1350 01:12:17,720 --> 01:12:19,100 Well, lookie here, Serena. 1351 01:12:19,200 --> 01:12:21,680 They threw me a big party to thank me for savin' the world. 1352 01:12:22,240 --> 01:12:24,368 And you get to stand next to me all night. 1353 01:12:24,800 --> 01:12:26,723 - MAN: Champagne, sir? - Thanks. 1354 01:12:27,200 --> 01:12:29,680 - They promised me an island if I did this. - Ah. 1355 01:12:30,000 --> 01:12:31,900 I'm dying to meet Sam's new ladyfriend. 1356 01:12:32,000 --> 01:12:34,740 She's nothin'. It's just a little hangin' out thing. 1357 01:12:34,840 --> 01:12:35,966 Yeah, right. 1358 01:12:36,160 --> 01:12:37,685 Is she pretty, Will? 1359 01:12:37,840 --> 01:12:40,969 Uh, define pretty. I mean, you're pretty. (CHUCKLES) 1360 01:12:41,360 --> 01:12:43,140 - Extremely pretty. - Thank you. 1361 01:12:43,240 --> 01:12:47,340 She, I think, in the classical sense of the word, is certainly... I mean, I feel... 1362 01:12:47,440 --> 01:12:49,180 - Brenner, help me out here. - No, you're doing great. 1363 01:12:49,280 --> 01:12:50,500 - Keep going. - Okay. 1364 01:12:50,600 --> 01:12:53,820 Uh, You know, she, for military personnel, certainly. 1365 01:12:53,920 --> 01:12:54,921 I mean... 1366 01:12:55,080 --> 01:12:56,764 You're the First Lady, 1367 01:12:56,920 --> 01:12:58,365 she's a 10. 1368 01:13:03,680 --> 01:13:04,966 Hey, Brenner. 1369 01:13:07,000 --> 01:13:08,490 Q*BERT: Hey, Brenner. 1370 01:13:09,520 --> 01:13:11,488 Excuse me for a second. 1371 01:13:12,080 --> 01:13:14,526 Come on, Matty. Let's dance! 1372 01:13:19,920 --> 01:13:21,285 You look nice in a tux. 1373 01:13:22,240 --> 01:13:24,481 Green's officially my favorite color now. 1374 01:13:25,400 --> 01:13:27,050 I have a question for you. 1375 01:13:27,200 --> 01:13:30,380 President said I'm on call tonight, so I can only have half a beer. 1376 01:13:30,480 --> 01:13:31,540 Um... 1377 01:13:31,640 --> 01:13:34,564 I know you like drinkin' out of sippy cups, 1378 01:13:34,680 --> 01:13:36,170 but wanna split a bottle with me? 1379 01:13:37,920 --> 01:13:39,570 - (SNIFFS) - What happened? 1380 01:13:40,080 --> 01:13:42,260 - You brushed your teeth. - Yes! Yes. 1381 01:13:42,360 --> 01:13:43,500 All right. Lead the way. 1382 01:13:43,600 --> 01:13:44,761 You got it. 1383 01:13:48,440 --> 01:13:51,887 (SINGING) Welcome to your life 1384 01:13:52,440 --> 01:13:56,740 There's no turning back 1385 01:13:56,840 --> 01:14:00,700 Even while we sleep 1386 01:14:00,800 --> 01:14:03,020 We will find you 1387 01:14:03,120 --> 01:14:06,522 Acting on your best behavior 1388 01:14:07,600 --> 01:14:09,887 So let's hear about Sinnamon. What does she look like? 1389 01:14:10,040 --> 01:14:11,980 - Oh, God. Are you kidding? - I wanna know. 1390 01:14:12,080 --> 01:14:14,940 She's a husband-stealing Pilates teacher. She's hot! 1391 01:14:15,040 --> 01:14:16,485 - Uh-huh. - And limber. 1392 01:14:17,440 --> 01:14:18,420 That doesn't matter. 1393 01:14:18,520 --> 01:14:20,568 Yes! Actually, it does. 1394 01:14:20,880 --> 01:14:22,540 She's not perfect, though, right? 1395 01:14:22,640 --> 01:14:24,529 Girls like that who steal husbands, 1396 01:14:24,800 --> 01:14:26,962 they always got one thing wrong with them. 1397 01:14:27,240 --> 01:14:28,321 Come on. 1398 01:14:29,040 --> 01:14:31,420 - Her forehead's too big? - (CHUCKLES) No. 1399 01:14:31,520 --> 01:14:32,900 - Mole on the chin? - No. 1400 01:14:33,000 --> 01:14:34,809 - Two different nostrils? - No! 1401 01:14:36,040 --> 01:14:37,690 She's flawless. 1402 01:14:37,960 --> 01:14:39,246 She is. 1403 01:14:39,640 --> 01:14:43,247 I mean, her eyes. Okay, her eyes are a little far apart. 1404 01:14:44,800 --> 01:14:46,060 Kind of looks like a flounder. 1405 01:14:46,160 --> 01:14:48,420 - There it is! Good. - (CHUCKLES) 1406 01:14:48,520 --> 01:14:52,020 So tonight, your dopey ex-husband's gonna be lookin' into those eyes and sayin', 1407 01:14:52,120 --> 01:14:53,980 "What kind of choice did I make? 1408 01:14:54,080 --> 01:14:56,540 "I used to stare into the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen, 1409 01:14:56,640 --> 01:15:00,740 "and now I'm stuck starin' at the Filet o' Fish sandwich." 1410 01:15:00,840 --> 01:15:02,444 Did you just say I have beautiful eyes? 1411 01:15:02,640 --> 01:15:04,529 While insulting the other chick. 1412 01:15:04,760 --> 01:15:08,220 Wow. That is really, really, really, really good. 1413 01:15:08,320 --> 01:15:09,651 Thank you. 1414 01:15:11,720 --> 01:15:14,929 Can I have some of that? No? I thought we were splitting it. 1415 01:15:16,080 --> 01:15:17,445 Hooyah! 1416 01:15:17,640 --> 01:15:21,620 So glad we've almost made it 1417 01:15:21,720 --> 01:15:25,220 So sad they had to fade it 1418 01:15:25,320 --> 01:15:28,460 Everybody wants to rule the world 1419 01:15:28,560 --> 01:15:30,164 (FEEDBACK) 1420 01:15:33,000 --> 01:15:35,180 They wanna rule 1421 01:15:35,280 --> 01:15:37,328 Why do they act so mean? 1422 01:15:39,600 --> 01:15:41,820 You know, everybody's like, 1423 01:15:41,920 --> 01:15:44,340 "Brenner this" and "Brenner that." 1424 01:15:44,440 --> 01:15:48,331 But make no mistake, Fire Blaster's the leader of this crew. 1425 01:15:48,520 --> 01:15:50,124 Who's the Fire Blaster again? 1426 01:15:50,280 --> 01:15:53,380 Me, Serena! All right, lemme just cut to the chase here. 1427 01:15:53,480 --> 01:15:55,420 Fire Blaster's been in prison for eight years. 1428 01:15:55,520 --> 01:15:58,126 He hasn't been with a woman since '05. 1429 01:15:58,880 --> 01:16:02,460 You're in for the time of your life. 1430 01:16:02,560 --> 01:16:05,260 You even think about touching me, I'm gonna smack you through the wall. 1431 01:16:05,360 --> 01:16:07,124 Mmm. I'd have it no other way. 1432 01:16:10,000 --> 01:16:12,082 Should've gone with Martha Stewart. 1433 01:16:12,480 --> 01:16:16,087 At least then, I'd have a tasty panini cooked for me or some shit. 1434 01:16:19,320 --> 01:16:21,260 So, what are you gonna do after all this? 1435 01:16:21,360 --> 01:16:23,362 You gonna go back to the Nerd Brigade? 1436 01:16:23,680 --> 01:16:24,681 Wow. 1437 01:16:25,080 --> 01:16:26,740 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1438 01:16:26,840 --> 01:16:29,002 Probably. I mean... 1439 01:16:29,640 --> 01:16:30,801 What else would I do? 1440 01:16:31,040 --> 01:16:33,327 I mean, it just seems like someone with your skills, 1441 01:16:33,440 --> 01:16:36,569 you'd be better off inventing technology rather than installing it. 1442 01:16:36,880 --> 01:16:40,407 No, of course. I would love to do somethin' different. 1443 01:16:40,800 --> 01:16:42,500 You know, I had my shot 1444 01:16:42,600 --> 01:16:44,489 when I was a kid in the arcades. 1445 01:16:45,120 --> 01:16:46,201 But 1446 01:16:46,760 --> 01:16:48,569 (CLICKS TONGUE) I blew it. 1447 01:16:49,080 --> 01:16:52,084 Yeah, I always think maybe my life would've been different. 1448 01:16:52,520 --> 01:16:55,300 Any time I'm getting on a roll, 1449 01:16:55,400 --> 01:16:58,961 or I feel like everything's going great, 1450 01:16:59,960 --> 01:17:02,804 that giant ape throws another barrel at me. 1451 01:17:05,560 --> 01:17:09,451 But it's all good. Don't worry. 1452 01:17:09,560 --> 01:17:10,561 Hooyah. 1453 01:17:11,200 --> 01:17:12,201 Hooyah. 1454 01:17:13,320 --> 01:17:17,380 Ladies and gentlemen, I am proud to introduce a special message 1455 01:17:17,480 --> 01:17:21,121 to the Arcaders from the students of PS 427 1456 01:17:21,600 --> 01:17:23,250 in New York City. 1457 01:17:23,400 --> 01:17:25,050 (AUDIENCE APPLAUDING) 1458 01:17:26,400 --> 01:17:28,767 CHOIR KIDS: New York was in trouble. 1459 01:17:28,960 --> 01:17:30,980 Pac-Man caused a ruckus. 1460 01:17:31,080 --> 01:17:33,580 But the Arcaders saved us. 1461 01:17:33,680 --> 01:17:35,603 'Cause they're bad mother... 1462 01:17:36,560 --> 01:17:38,130 (AUDIENCE MURMURING) 1463 01:17:39,720 --> 01:17:40,926 People of Earth, 1464 01:17:41,240 --> 01:17:43,481 you have violated the rules of warfare, dudes. 1465 01:17:43,840 --> 01:17:45,171 Violated the rules? 1466 01:17:45,320 --> 01:17:48,881 Because of this, you forfeit and your planet is now ours. 1467 01:17:49,920 --> 01:17:54,084 Dudes, in 12 hours, we'll commence with the all-out destruction of Earth. 1468 01:17:55,080 --> 01:17:59,324 After that, we will sing this about your precious planet. 1469 01:17:59,480 --> 01:18:03,700 (SINGING) She's gone 1470 01:18:03,800 --> 01:18:06,565 I'd better learn how to face... 1471 01:18:07,080 --> 01:18:09,367 - (AUDIENCE MURMURING) - What the heck are they talkin' about? 1472 01:18:19,000 --> 01:18:20,650 Where you goin', Fire Blaster? 1473 01:18:20,840 --> 01:18:22,780 Oh, hey, kid. Uh... 1474 01:18:22,880 --> 01:18:25,281 I told Serena I needed to get some air, you know? 1475 01:18:25,440 --> 01:18:27,140 Only known her half an hour and she's already like, 1476 01:18:27,240 --> 01:18:29,641 "Mrs. Fire Blaster this. Mrs. Fire Blaster that." 1477 01:18:30,400 --> 01:18:33,643 A cop fished these out of the East River the night you fell in. 1478 01:18:33,800 --> 01:18:35,580 I was gonna give 'em back to you, 1479 01:18:35,680 --> 01:18:38,809 but I saw some interesting things written on the inside of the lenses. 1480 01:18:40,400 --> 01:18:42,562 The Pac-Man cheat code for super-speed. 1481 01:18:43,040 --> 01:18:44,883 - You're a cheater. - So what? 1482 01:18:45,520 --> 01:18:48,700 I used cheat codes back in the day to help me dominate. 1483 01:18:48,800 --> 01:18:51,660 So I figured, why not use it for the big show. And it worked. 1484 01:18:51,760 --> 01:18:53,762 You've been a cheater your whole life? 1485 01:18:54,560 --> 01:18:55,700 No. 1486 01:18:55,800 --> 01:18:58,060 Only since I was 10. 1487 01:18:58,160 --> 01:19:02,324 That's how I beat your boy Brenner at the World Championship. Oh, yeah. 1488 01:19:02,640 --> 01:19:04,005 (TAKES SUNGLASSES) 1489 01:19:04,280 --> 01:19:07,284 I owe everything I have to these bitchin' shades. 1490 01:19:12,680 --> 01:19:13,820 What did you do? 1491 01:19:13,920 --> 01:19:17,220 I didn't do anything. (STUTTERS) I thought we obeyed every rule. 1492 01:19:17,320 --> 01:19:18,900 Ya thought wrong, civilian! 1493 01:19:19,000 --> 01:19:21,180 We squandered our one chance on you! 1494 01:19:21,280 --> 01:19:22,660 A hi-fi repair man. 1495 01:19:22,760 --> 01:19:23,900 But I swear... 1496 01:19:24,000 --> 01:19:27,368 But nothin'! You heard Hall & Oates! You blew it! 1497 01:19:27,600 --> 01:19:28,681 I've seen your files. 1498 01:19:28,840 --> 01:19:31,047 You've never accomplished a damn thing in your entire life. 1499 01:19:31,160 --> 01:19:34,300 Brenner won two battles, Admiral. That's two more than you. 1500 01:19:34,400 --> 01:19:36,020 PORTER: I wouldn't get smart with me, Colonel. 1501 01:19:36,120 --> 01:19:39,203 You were all over this sideshow that did nothing but waste valuable time. 1502 01:19:39,480 --> 01:19:42,165 Sometimes I wonder if you're not working for the Martians yourself! 1503 01:19:42,320 --> 01:19:43,460 Drop dead, Admiral. 1504 01:19:43,560 --> 01:19:44,540 You're done. 1505 01:19:44,640 --> 01:19:46,380 All right. Hey, guys! That's enough. Listen. 1506 01:19:46,480 --> 01:19:48,244 - (DEEP RUMBLING) - We tried something. It didn't work. 1507 01:19:48,720 --> 01:19:49,721 (WOMAN SHRIEKING) 1508 01:19:51,040 --> 01:19:52,280 What is that? 1509 01:19:52,640 --> 01:19:53,766 Matty! 1510 01:19:55,400 --> 01:19:56,970 (SCREAMING) 1511 01:20:04,880 --> 01:20:06,609 Matty! 1512 01:20:13,240 --> 01:20:16,483 I can't believe they took Matty as a trophy. I am so sorry. 1513 01:20:16,640 --> 01:20:18,563 Well, there's gotta be somethin' we can do. 1514 01:20:18,720 --> 01:20:19,660 Where's Eddie? 1515 01:20:19,760 --> 01:20:23,128 Eddie. Yeah. He crawled into a hole. We'll never see him again. 1516 01:20:24,120 --> 01:20:25,884 Chewie won't take my calls. 1517 01:20:26,040 --> 01:20:28,380 Violet got the boot. We're on our own, guys. 1518 01:20:28,480 --> 01:20:30,020 This feels like my planet. 1519 01:20:30,120 --> 01:20:33,806 No fun. No laughter. Only war. 1520 01:20:34,080 --> 01:20:35,081 Wait. 1521 01:20:35,360 --> 01:20:38,660 Wait a second. Q*bert is from there. He knows all their secrets. 1522 01:20:38,760 --> 01:20:40,300 Q*BERT: We were once a happy planet. 1523 01:20:40,400 --> 01:20:42,140 Before you threatened us. 1524 01:20:42,240 --> 01:20:45,767 But we didn't threaten you! You saw footage of old games. 1525 01:20:46,120 --> 01:20:47,770 They do not know they are games. 1526 01:20:47,920 --> 01:20:50,380 Well, why don't you tell them that, Q*bert, and stop them? 1527 01:20:50,480 --> 01:20:51,500 Q*BERT: It's too late. 1528 01:20:51,600 --> 01:20:55,300 And now the mothership is creating millions of video-game warriors 1529 01:20:55,400 --> 01:20:56,890 to destroy your planet. 1530 01:20:57,360 --> 01:21:00,967 Look, all we have to do is get inside the mothership and try to stop them. 1531 01:21:01,120 --> 01:21:02,724 We can rescue Matty while we're up there. 1532 01:21:02,920 --> 01:21:04,809 Up there. You wanna go up there? 1533 01:21:05,000 --> 01:21:08,243 I don't know about that. You know, they took away our light cannons. 1534 01:21:08,400 --> 01:21:10,084 I don't think that's such a good idea. 1535 01:21:10,240 --> 01:21:12,607 We have something better than light cannons. 1536 01:21:12,800 --> 01:21:14,928 We have a positive can-do attitude. 1537 01:21:15,280 --> 01:21:16,281 Q*BERT: Ah. 1538 01:21:16,520 --> 01:21:19,285 I'm kidding. We are all gonna die. 1539 01:21:20,160 --> 01:21:21,286 I'm just... 1540 01:21:21,520 --> 01:21:22,726 Sorry. 1541 01:21:29,120 --> 01:21:31,600 (PEOPLE SCREAMING) 1542 01:22:02,280 --> 01:22:03,700 Are you sure we wanna do this? 1543 01:22:03,800 --> 01:22:06,280 I mean, maybe we could just find another planet to live on. 1544 01:22:06,480 --> 01:22:08,847 BRENNER: Shut up, dude. We're gettin' on that ship. 1545 01:22:09,000 --> 01:22:11,446 And the only way to do that is to get directly under it. 1546 01:22:11,840 --> 01:22:13,365 Q*BERT: That's the only way in. 1547 01:22:14,880 --> 01:22:16,370 (ARCADE GAMES PINGING) 1548 01:22:18,480 --> 01:22:19,481 (BEEPS) 1549 01:22:25,120 --> 01:22:26,121 Q*BERT: Oh! 1550 01:22:28,200 --> 01:22:30,248 Arcaders are comin'! Don't worry! 1551 01:22:35,240 --> 01:22:36,780 Come on! Come on! Come on! Go! 1552 01:22:36,880 --> 01:22:37,881 Stay with me! 1553 01:22:39,720 --> 01:22:40,721 (BEEPS) 1554 01:22:41,560 --> 01:22:42,561 (BEEPS) 1555 01:22:44,040 --> 01:22:45,041 (ALL EXCLAIMING) 1556 01:22:47,200 --> 01:22:48,201 (SCREAMING) 1557 01:22:54,560 --> 01:22:56,180 (GROWLING) 1558 01:22:56,280 --> 01:22:58,521 Nobody's better at the crane game than me. 1559 01:22:58,840 --> 01:23:00,171 Chewie? 1560 01:23:00,320 --> 01:23:02,209 What's with the disguise, buddy? 1561 01:23:02,360 --> 01:23:04,420 They tried to take me to some underground bunker, 1562 01:23:04,520 --> 01:23:06,204 so I went rogue. 1563 01:23:10,200 --> 01:23:11,929 Oh, yeah! 1564 01:23:13,000 --> 01:23:16,140 Wonder Kid, you gotta stay on the ground. These people need protection. 1565 01:23:16,240 --> 01:23:17,241 Oh, thank God. 1566 01:23:17,400 --> 01:23:20,006 Hey, live long, laugh much, love often. 1567 01:23:20,320 --> 01:23:21,300 Yeah. 1568 01:23:21,400 --> 01:23:22,447 That's it. 1569 01:23:23,120 --> 01:23:24,300 No. 1570 01:23:24,400 --> 01:23:25,606 Back it up. 1571 01:23:26,960 --> 01:23:28,121 Thanks for bein' my friend. 1572 01:23:28,680 --> 01:23:30,091 'Course, buddy. I love ya. 1573 01:23:30,240 --> 01:23:32,083 Now go kick some ass. 1574 01:23:34,800 --> 01:23:37,087 Mr. President, may I have a light cannon? 1575 01:23:42,200 --> 01:23:46,260 (SINGING) La la la la la la Sing a happy song 1576 01:23:46,360 --> 01:23:47,340 Ooh. 1577 01:23:47,440 --> 01:23:48,441 La la la la la la 1578 01:23:54,000 --> 01:23:55,968 Don't tell anyone I killed a Smurf. 1579 01:24:07,120 --> 01:24:08,884 (BIDDY BANDITS EXCLAIMING) 1580 01:24:09,480 --> 01:24:10,720 (CHILDREN SCREAMING) 1581 01:24:12,960 --> 01:24:14,180 Hey! 1582 01:24:14,280 --> 01:24:16,328 Get away from those kids now! 1583 01:24:18,080 --> 01:24:19,127 Please? 1584 01:24:19,320 --> 01:24:21,687 (BIDDY BANDITS EXCLAIMING) 1585 01:24:28,800 --> 01:24:30,290 - LUDLOW: Hey! - (EXCLAIMS) 1586 01:24:32,160 --> 01:24:33,650 (LAUGHS ECSTATICALLY) 1587 01:24:52,640 --> 01:24:56,060 I spent most of my formative years 1588 01:24:56,160 --> 01:24:58,162 trying to figure out a way to bring you to life 1589 01:24:58,640 --> 01:25:00,608 all Weird Science-style. 1590 01:25:01,480 --> 01:25:03,500 I used every birthday wish, 1591 01:25:03,600 --> 01:25:06,046 every 11:11 on the clock, 1592 01:25:06,160 --> 01:25:09,528 every little chicken wishbone I could find, and ladybug. 1593 01:25:10,040 --> 01:25:11,610 I prayed for this. 1594 01:25:14,360 --> 01:25:15,361 Oh. 1595 01:25:16,680 --> 01:25:19,001 But apparently, you don't feel the same. 1596 01:25:22,640 --> 01:25:23,971 (Q*BERT GRUNTING) 1597 01:25:27,360 --> 01:25:30,045 BRENNER: Okay. We're under it, Q*bert. Now what? 1598 01:25:34,520 --> 01:25:36,420 Well, well, well. 1599 01:25:36,520 --> 01:25:38,060 Look who's here. 1600 01:25:38,160 --> 01:25:40,020 Q*bert the traitor 1601 01:25:40,120 --> 01:25:42,300 and his cheating friends. 1602 01:25:42,400 --> 01:25:44,721 Come to beg for a second chance? 1603 01:25:44,880 --> 01:25:48,327 You're in luck. The boss wants to meet ya in person. 1604 01:25:48,880 --> 01:25:50,580 So come on up! 1605 01:25:50,680 --> 01:25:55,580 If you defeat him, you save your planet and destroy our warriors. 1606 01:25:55,680 --> 01:25:57,140 But if you lose... 1607 01:25:57,240 --> 01:25:58,844 (LAUGHS MANICALLY) 1608 01:26:08,040 --> 01:26:09,610 See you on the other side. 1609 01:26:20,560 --> 01:26:21,561 (LUDLOW GRUNTS) 1610 01:26:23,880 --> 01:26:26,247 You are so powerful, just as I... 1611 01:26:27,240 --> 01:26:28,241 (CHILDREN EXCLAIMING) 1612 01:26:31,880 --> 01:26:35,500 You win! I'm not gonna fight you anymore, okay? 1613 01:26:35,600 --> 01:26:37,460 I know that you have love in your heart, 1614 01:26:37,560 --> 01:26:40,928 and I know that I could make you happy, but if you need to kill me, 1615 01:26:41,080 --> 01:26:43,560 then you're just gonna have to go ahead and kill me. 1616 01:26:46,040 --> 01:26:50,284 At least I can die a happy man knowing that I found true love. 1617 01:27:20,080 --> 01:27:22,686 (CHILDREN CHEERING AND APPLAUDING) 1618 01:27:24,760 --> 01:27:27,570 And I couldn't even get a handshake from Serena Williams. 1619 01:27:27,760 --> 01:27:29,125 Well, well, well. 1620 01:27:29,280 --> 01:27:31,169 Didn't think I'd see you again. 1621 01:27:31,320 --> 01:27:35,405 I had to prove to myself and to the world that I could do this without cheating. 1622 01:27:35,600 --> 01:27:36,761 Wait, you cheated? 1623 01:27:36,920 --> 01:27:38,001 Moving on. 1624 01:27:38,120 --> 01:27:39,121 (WOMAN SCREAMING) 1625 01:27:44,480 --> 01:27:46,687 You gonna introduce me to your girlfriend? 1626 01:27:47,600 --> 01:27:48,931 Fiancée. 1627 01:28:03,200 --> 01:28:05,500 Where are we, Q*bert? What is this place? 1628 01:28:05,600 --> 01:28:06,940 I don't know. 1629 01:28:07,040 --> 01:28:08,724 But I'm scared. 1630 01:28:09,840 --> 01:28:11,285 Great. 1631 01:28:14,160 --> 01:28:16,640 (DISTANT THUDDING) 1632 01:28:19,720 --> 01:28:20,846 What is that noise? 1633 01:28:29,640 --> 01:28:31,961 - (BRENNER GRUNTS) - What the hell was that? 1634 01:28:34,040 --> 01:28:35,246 (GROWLS) 1635 01:28:37,560 --> 01:28:39,460 Donkey Kong. 1636 01:28:39,560 --> 01:28:41,562 The one game you suck at. 1637 01:28:41,720 --> 01:28:42,721 Yeah. 1638 01:28:43,120 --> 01:28:45,248 - (GROWLING) - MATTY: Mom, up here! 1639 01:28:46,200 --> 01:28:47,565 Matty! 1640 01:28:47,720 --> 01:28:48,846 Mom! 1641 01:28:49,000 --> 01:28:50,650 Where the hell is my mama? 1642 01:28:50,840 --> 01:28:52,524 We're coming for you, honey! 1643 01:28:52,960 --> 01:28:54,086 (GROWLS) 1644 01:28:58,720 --> 01:29:00,006 Q*BERT: Oh, no. 1645 01:29:02,680 --> 01:29:04,569 (SHUDDERING) 1646 01:29:18,280 --> 01:29:19,660 LUDLOW: There's too many of them! 1647 01:29:19,760 --> 01:29:20,886 This way! 1648 01:29:23,760 --> 01:29:25,603 Only one way to beat this game. Jump! 1649 01:29:27,880 --> 01:29:28,961 Up the ladder! Fast! 1650 01:29:32,080 --> 01:29:33,286 Incoming! 1651 01:29:34,240 --> 01:29:35,241 VIOLET: Oh! 1652 01:29:41,200 --> 01:29:42,486 (Q*BERT GRUNTING) 1653 01:29:48,640 --> 01:29:50,130 (VIOLET GRUNTS) 1654 01:29:53,800 --> 01:29:55,140 Q*bert! Look out! 1655 01:29:55,240 --> 01:29:56,730 - (SCREAMING) - Oh! 1656 01:29:57,240 --> 01:29:59,083 Q*bert! 1657 01:30:13,320 --> 01:30:15,860 BRENNER: I can't do this. There's no pattern. 1658 01:30:15,960 --> 01:30:18,930 Pretend you're the guy and you don't wanna die. 1659 01:30:19,480 --> 01:30:20,766 (GRUNTS) 1660 01:30:20,920 --> 01:30:22,001 I don't wanna die! 1661 01:30:22,840 --> 01:30:24,490 I couldn't even beat Eddie Plant! 1662 01:30:24,640 --> 01:30:28,486 Eddie Plant's a cheater! That's why he was so good in New York. 1663 01:30:28,640 --> 01:30:30,688 He used cheat codes. 1664 01:30:31,240 --> 01:30:34,130 He did the same thing to you when you were kids. 1665 01:30:34,920 --> 01:30:37,207 You know what that means, right? 1666 01:30:40,600 --> 01:30:43,490 I'm the Donkey Kong champion of the world. 1667 01:30:43,640 --> 01:30:46,371 And the Donkey Kong champion of the world doesn't need patterns. 1668 01:30:46,640 --> 01:30:47,641 Reset button. 1669 01:30:48,040 --> 01:30:50,202 (WE WILL ROCK YOU VONLICHTEN PLAYING) 1670 01:30:53,680 --> 01:30:55,940 Buddy you're a boy make a big noise 1671 01:30:56,040 --> 01:30:59,180 Playing in the street gonna be a big man some day 1672 01:30:59,280 --> 01:31:00,780 You got mud on your face 1673 01:31:00,880 --> 01:31:02,211 BRENNER: Freeze, Chewie! 1674 01:31:02,680 --> 01:31:05,001 Kickin' your can all over the place 1675 01:31:05,120 --> 01:31:08,920 - Singin' - We will, we will rock you 1676 01:31:09,200 --> 01:31:10,201 Brenner! 1677 01:31:11,520 --> 01:31:14,967 We will, we will rock you 1678 01:31:15,560 --> 01:31:16,561 (CHEERS PLAYFULLY) 1679 01:31:16,880 --> 01:31:19,042 Mom, Mom! Q*bert's not dead! 1680 01:31:20,040 --> 01:31:22,008 Q*BERT: Help me! Help me! 1681 01:31:22,200 --> 01:31:24,362 Nah, I'm pretty sure he's dead, Matty. 1682 01:31:24,520 --> 01:31:25,521 Mom! 1683 01:31:26,200 --> 01:31:27,980 Q*BERT: Please. 1684 01:31:28,080 --> 01:31:29,420 (SIGHS) Okay, fine. 1685 01:31:29,520 --> 01:31:30,931 What? No! 1686 01:31:31,080 --> 01:31:32,081 No! 1687 01:31:32,360 --> 01:31:35,364 We will rock you 1688 01:31:38,680 --> 01:31:40,409 Violet, get outta there! 1689 01:31:44,080 --> 01:31:45,081 (GRUNTS) 1690 01:31:46,720 --> 01:31:47,721 Look out! 1691 01:31:54,800 --> 01:31:57,940 We will, we will rock you 1692 01:31:58,040 --> 01:31:59,041 LUDLOW: We're trapped! 1693 01:32:00,680 --> 01:32:04,180 We will, we will rock you 1694 01:32:04,280 --> 01:32:05,281 Brenner! 1695 01:32:06,640 --> 01:32:10,486 We will, we will rock you 1696 01:32:12,280 --> 01:32:16,683 We will, we will rock you 1697 01:32:16,800 --> 01:32:18,564 Here, grab onto my mighty hammer. 1698 01:32:18,960 --> 01:32:19,961 (GRUNTING) 1699 01:32:20,120 --> 01:32:21,121 (BRENNER GRUNTING) 1700 01:32:21,960 --> 01:32:23,100 You loved saying that. 1701 01:32:23,200 --> 01:32:24,406 Yes, I did. 1702 01:32:27,120 --> 01:32:30,727 Brenner! Whatever you're doing, please hurry up! 1703 01:32:39,320 --> 01:32:42,290 I've been waitin' to do this since 1982. 1704 01:32:43,720 --> 01:32:44,767 (GROWLS) 1705 01:32:45,840 --> 01:32:46,841 (GRUNTS) 1706 01:32:51,160 --> 01:32:52,924 (GROANING) 1707 01:32:54,800 --> 01:32:56,086 Yeah! 1708 01:32:56,240 --> 01:32:57,810 Yeah! Yes! 1709 01:32:57,960 --> 01:33:00,850 Q*BERT: (SINGSONG) Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. 1710 01:33:12,520 --> 01:33:14,522 Matty! Oh, God! 1711 01:33:15,840 --> 01:33:17,842 - You okay? - Yeah. 1712 01:33:18,160 --> 01:33:20,003 You were so awesome down there! 1713 01:33:20,640 --> 01:33:23,120 You're my second favorite president. You know Obama's still my man, right? 1714 01:33:23,240 --> 01:33:24,526 Oh, okay. 1715 01:33:33,200 --> 01:33:35,885 Hey! We won! 1716 01:33:36,680 --> 01:33:38,125 No more taxes! 1717 01:33:38,320 --> 01:33:39,340 (EDDIE CHUCKLES) 1718 01:33:39,440 --> 01:33:41,169 We did it, baby! 1719 01:33:41,520 --> 01:33:42,885 We did it. 1720 01:33:43,040 --> 01:33:44,166 No. 1721 01:33:44,720 --> 01:33:46,700 No. No! 1722 01:33:46,800 --> 01:33:49,620 Lady Lisa! 1723 01:33:49,720 --> 01:33:51,882 No! 1724 01:34:08,680 --> 01:34:10,860 Eddie, never thought I'd see you again. 1725 01:34:10,960 --> 01:34:14,580 Brenner, I just wanted to say I'm sorry for cheatin' back in the day when we was kids, 1726 01:34:14,680 --> 01:34:17,060 and for cheatin' again more recently. (CHUCKLES) 1727 01:34:17,160 --> 01:34:18,980 I'm not goin' back to prison for that, am I? 1728 01:34:19,080 --> 01:34:22,209 No, but you need to admit to Brenner that he's the best in the world. 1729 01:34:22,440 --> 01:34:24,169 (SCOFFS) Eh, no way. 1730 01:34:24,320 --> 01:34:25,401 Prison. 1731 01:34:26,200 --> 01:34:27,850 (CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY) 1732 01:34:29,040 --> 01:34:30,246 Brenner, 1733 01:34:33,080 --> 01:34:34,684 you are the best 1734 01:34:36,040 --> 01:34:37,405 in the world 1735 01:34:38,560 --> 01:34:40,927 at (CLEARS THROAT) the Donkey Kong. 1736 01:34:41,720 --> 01:34:42,980 That's right. I am. 1737 01:34:43,080 --> 01:34:44,844 Ludlow. What's the matter, buddy? 1738 01:34:45,440 --> 01:34:47,681 I finally had the one thing I wanted 1739 01:34:48,400 --> 01:34:50,402 and now I'm back to being all alone. 1740 01:34:50,680 --> 01:34:53,420 Lady Lisa, she made an appearance. 1741 01:34:53,520 --> 01:34:58,447 And while you guys were out, you know, savin' the world, you kind of destroyed his. 1742 01:34:59,120 --> 01:35:00,610 Oh, that's horrible. 1743 01:35:00,920 --> 01:35:04,288 It's just, how come he gets to stay? Why are you still here? 1744 01:35:04,560 --> 01:35:06,050 I'm sorry. 1745 01:35:06,200 --> 01:35:07,565 Q*bert's a trophy. 1746 01:35:07,760 --> 01:35:09,444 And I guess we get to keep the trophies. 1747 01:35:10,080 --> 01:35:11,081 Yeah. 1748 01:35:12,200 --> 01:35:13,201 (SNIFFLES) 1749 01:35:13,880 --> 01:35:15,006 Q*BERT: Aw. 1750 01:35:19,480 --> 01:35:21,528 (MUMBLING) 1751 01:35:22,600 --> 01:35:24,204 Q*bert, what is it? 1752 01:35:38,000 --> 01:35:39,001 Aw. 1753 01:35:40,000 --> 01:35:43,322 Wait, no one else is weirded out by this? That was just Q*bert. 1754 01:35:43,480 --> 01:35:45,323 - REPORTER: Mr. President! Please! - Yes, Renee. 1755 01:35:45,480 --> 01:35:47,562 RENEE: Mr. President, are we out of danger? 1756 01:35:47,760 --> 01:35:50,161 Yes. In fact, I am pleased to announce 1757 01:35:50,320 --> 01:35:53,802 I have brokered a peace treaty with the alien invaders. 1758 01:35:56,160 --> 01:35:59,164 This peace is due to, and only due to 1759 01:35:59,320 --> 01:36:01,527 the bravery of the Arcaders, 1760 01:36:01,920 --> 01:36:05,811 who, against all odds, stepped up and saved us all. 1761 01:36:06,760 --> 01:36:08,060 Eddie Plant, 1762 01:36:08,160 --> 01:36:09,900 Ludlow Lamonsoff, 1763 01:36:10,000 --> 01:36:11,365 Sam Brenner, 1764 01:36:11,520 --> 01:36:13,966 and Lieutenant Colonel Violet Van Patten 1765 01:36:14,440 --> 01:36:15,965 are American heroes. 1766 01:36:16,640 --> 01:36:18,051 World heroes. 1767 01:36:18,480 --> 01:36:19,580 (CHEERING) 1768 01:36:19,680 --> 01:36:20,681 Yeah! 1769 01:36:21,200 --> 01:36:24,044 "World hero"? I guess you're not a nerd anymore. 1770 01:36:24,200 --> 01:36:25,884 You don't want me to stop being a nerd, ever. 1771 01:36:26,600 --> 01:36:27,860 (CHUCKLES) Why is that? 1772 01:36:27,960 --> 01:36:31,043 'Cause like I said, nerds are the greatest kissers. 1773 01:36:31,960 --> 01:36:33,962 I'll be the judge of that. 1774 01:36:38,520 --> 01:36:39,760 (SURRENDER PLAYING) 1775 01:36:40,960 --> 01:36:43,088 (CELL PHONE VIBRATING) 1776 01:36:52,880 --> 01:36:55,620 Mother told me Yes, she told me 1777 01:36:55,720 --> 01:36:59,247 That I'd meet girls like you 1778 01:36:59,600 --> 01:37:01,700 She also told me 1779 01:37:01,800 --> 01:37:06,727 Stay away You'll never know what you'll catch 1780 01:37:07,080 --> 01:37:13,531 Just the other day I heard of a soldier's falling off 1781 01:37:13,640 --> 01:37:19,522 Some Indonesian junk that's going round 1782 01:37:21,120 --> 01:37:24,700 Mommy's all right, daddy's all right 1783 01:37:24,800 --> 01:37:28,247 They just seem a little weird 1784 01:37:28,360 --> 01:37:31,700 Surrender, surrender 1785 01:37:31,800 --> 01:37:36,806 But don't give yourself away 1786 01:37:37,560 --> 01:37:40,404 Hey, hey 1787 01:37:43,800 --> 01:37:45,882 (BIRDS CHIRPING) 1788 01:37:48,720 --> 01:37:51,580 LUDLOW: Hey, kids. Daddy's home. 1789 01:37:51,680 --> 01:37:54,020 - Q*BERT BABY 1: Daddy! - Q*BERT BABY 2: Daddy! Daddy! 1790 01:37:54,120 --> 01:37:56,140 - Dad! Dad! - Daddy! Daddy! 1791 01:37:56,240 --> 01:37:58,242 Daddy! Daddy! 1792 01:37:59,840 --> 01:38:01,251 (GAME ON PLAYING) 1793 01:38:04,120 --> 01:38:06,820 This is not a game now 1794 01:38:06,920 --> 01:38:09,780 Nobody can save you 1795 01:38:09,880 --> 01:38:11,803 Spent up all your change 1796 01:38:11,920 --> 01:38:15,580 And now your turn is done 1797 01:38:15,680 --> 01:38:21,380 We won't be afraid 'cause we're the ones who made you 1798 01:38:21,480 --> 01:38:23,460 Knock you out the frame 1799 01:38:23,560 --> 01:38:26,300 We won't stop until you're gone 1800 01:38:26,400 --> 01:38:28,243 Game on 1801 01:38:38,160 --> 01:38:39,161 Game on 1802 01:38:45,160 --> 01:38:47,420 Assassin, soldier and a captain 1803 01:38:47,520 --> 01:38:50,300 Feel the passion, no compassion, but I'm askin' 1804 01:38:50,400 --> 01:38:53,100 You say you ready, well, I'm attackin' 1805 01:38:53,200 --> 01:38:56,090 A predatorin my competitors this second 1806 01:38:56,200 --> 01:38:58,820 I'm neverlackin' Boy, I'm ready for that action 1807 01:38:58,920 --> 01:39:02,340 That was braggin' Man, what happened to you has-beens? 1808 01:39:02,440 --> 01:39:05,180 It's amazin' all the places and the people faces 1809 01:39:05,280 --> 01:39:07,580 Ah, bought the tourbus like a spaceship 1810 01:39:07,680 --> 01:39:10,100 I'm racin' against nothin' but time 1811 01:39:10,200 --> 01:39:13,100 Probably wouldn't be so lost if you was watchin' the signs 1812 01:39:13,200 --> 01:39:16,780 They gon' play me like a PlayStation from playin' on that station 1813 01:39:16,880 --> 01:39:19,460 But I'm a be the face of a generation 1814 01:39:19,560 --> 01:39:22,484 Kids wit' no patience or directions 1815 01:39:22,600 --> 01:39:25,460 Never doubt or question my effort 1816 01:39:25,560 --> 01:39:28,140 Game on, game on Hope you people ready 1817 01:39:28,240 --> 01:39:30,780 I'm reloaded, and I hope my trigger finger steady 1818 01:39:30,880 --> 01:39:33,620 This is not a game now 1819 01:39:33,720 --> 01:39:36,540 Nobody can save you 1820 01:39:36,640 --> 01:39:38,620 Spent up all your change 1821 01:39:38,720 --> 01:39:42,220 And now your turn is done 1822 01:39:42,320 --> 01:39:48,140 We won't be afraid 'cause we're the ones who made you 1823 01:39:48,240 --> 01:39:53,140 Knock you out the frame We won't stop until you're gone 1824 01:39:53,240 --> 01:39:55,368 Game on 1825 01:40:04,760 --> 01:40:05,740 Game on 1826 01:40:05,840 --> 01:40:07,100 Can't Xbox me in 1827 01:40:07,200 --> 01:40:11,460 'Cause in my lane no controller but me playin' my game 1828 01:40:11,560 --> 01:40:13,244 - This a different league - League 1829 01:40:13,360 --> 01:40:14,540 A different bracket 1830 01:40:14,640 --> 01:40:15,940 - I'm a different gene - Gene 1831 01:40:16,040 --> 01:40:17,420 A different faction 1832 01:40:17,520 --> 01:40:19,900 I will never fall off, I just fall back 1833 01:40:20,000 --> 01:40:23,260 Don't make me pull up, pull up where you boys ball at 1834 01:40:23,360 --> 01:40:25,780 And show you little fake hustlers what the trap is 1835 01:40:25,880 --> 01:40:28,940 I have you runnin' suicides all practice 1836 01:40:29,040 --> 01:40:31,805 I got warrior blood I fearno heir 1837 01:40:31,920 --> 01:40:34,380 No army, no weapon, no man 1838 01:40:34,480 --> 01:40:40,220 Killer instinct, I just go harder than harder hard, but I pull larger 1839 01:40:40,320 --> 01:40:43,483 I can't let you Mini-Mes steal my Austin Powers 1840 01:40:43,640 --> 01:40:46,020 I've traveled plenty seas, spent many hours 1841 01:40:46,120 --> 01:40:48,540 To make Flocka be the best he can be 1842 01:40:48,640 --> 01:40:51,220 So you gon' show respect when you talkin' to me 1843 01:40:51,320 --> 01:40:54,460 That number one spot legacy I see is my hit 1844 01:40:54,560 --> 01:40:57,540 And what you take what you is, what you leave behind 1845 01:40:57,640 --> 01:41:00,300 This is not a game now 1846 01:41:00,400 --> 01:41:03,380 Nobody can save you 1847 01:41:03,480 --> 01:41:05,500 Spent up all your change 1848 01:41:05,600 --> 01:41:08,922 And now your turn is done 1849 01:41:09,040 --> 01:41:14,410 We won't be afraid 'cause we're the ones who made you 1850 01:41:14,920 --> 01:41:17,020 - Knock you out the frame - Squat, squat 1851 01:41:17,120 --> 01:41:20,060 - We won't stop until you're gone - Squat, squat, squat, squat 1852 01:41:20,160 --> 01:41:24,131 - Game on - Turn it up, turn it up, turn it up 1853 01:41:25,520 --> 01:41:29,969 - Game on - Turn it up, turn it up, turn it up 1854 01:41:31,720 --> 01:41:33,210 Game on 1854 01:41:34,305 --> 01:41:40,762 Please rate this subtitle at www.osdb.link/utvs Help other users to choose the best subtitles