1
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today

2
00:00:15,785 --> 00:00:21,785
Sync and corrections by explosiveskull
www.addic7ed.com

3
00:00:45,060 --> 00:00:46,262
Shut up!

4
00:00:58,407 --> 00:00:59,609
Consider yourselves warned.

5
00:00:59,642 --> 00:01:01,711
♪ We're stepping in the ring ♪

6
00:01:01,743 --> 00:01:03,712
♪ And won't let that lady sing ♪

7
00:01:03,746 --> 00:01:06,149
♪ It's over when we say it's over ♪

8
00:01:06,181 --> 00:01:08,083
♪ Been brushing off our shoulders ♪

9
00:01:08,116 --> 00:01:09,584
♪ It's not a twist of fate ♪

10
00:01:09,618 --> 00:01:11,720
♪ We choose our own destiny ♪

11
00:01:11,753 --> 00:01:14,157
♪ A trophy or a bruise ♪

12
00:01:14,190 --> 00:01:15,491
♪ Champions never lose ♪

13
00:01:15,524 --> 00:01:17,126
I was at the mall the other day,

14
00:01:17,158 --> 00:01:18,961
and this girl was wearing pants

15
00:01:18,994 --> 00:01:20,996
that looked like she
literally pooped in them.

16
00:01:26,468 --> 00:01:28,337
Look at us. We look
like two girls at a club.

17
00:01:31,706 --> 00:01:33,443
Hey...

18
00:01:33,476 --> 00:01:35,345
Aw...

19
00:01:35,378 --> 00:01:37,212
Ah! More videos.

20
00:01:38,446 --> 00:01:40,282
More videos! More videos!

21
00:01:40,315 --> 00:01:42,517
What are you waiting for?

22
00:01:42,550 --> 00:01:44,252
♪ It's time to show the world ♪

23
00:01:44,286 --> 00:01:46,522
♪ What they've waited for ♪

24
00:01:46,554 --> 00:01:48,557
♪ Something like they've
never seen before ♪

25
00:01:48,590 --> 00:01:50,125
Hey.

26
00:01:50,158 --> 00:01:51,393
♪ Seen before ♪

27
00:01:51,426 --> 00:01:53,628
♪ We're just getting started ♪

28
00:01:53,661 --> 00:01:56,032
♪ We're just getting started ♪

29
00:01:57,298 --> 00:01:58,568
Hello, little guy.

30
00:02:04,339 --> 00:02:06,508
Cheese mobile! Check it out!

31
00:02:06,541 --> 00:02:08,477
♪ It's time to show the world ♪

32
00:02:08,511 --> 00:02:10,712
♪ What they've waited for ♪

33
00:02:10,745 --> 00:02:11,780
♪ Something like they've
never seen before ♪

34
00:02:11,813 --> 00:02:15,550
Lame. Lame. Lame.

35
00:02:15,584 --> 00:02:17,553
♪ We're just getting started ♪

36
00:02:17,585 --> 00:02:20,523
♪ Just getting started ♪

37
00:02:20,555 --> 00:02:22,124
My eyes are, like,

38
00:02:22,157 --> 00:02:27,062
must be 50 pounds or something, man.

39
00:02:27,096 --> 00:02:29,565
Whoa!

40
00:02:29,597 --> 00:02:31,333
That was fake.

41
00:02:31,366 --> 00:02:34,470
Hey, I apologize. That's
all you can ask for.

42
00:02:34,502 --> 00:02:36,538
- You suck.
- I apologize!

43
00:03:03,399 --> 00:03:06,235
Sweet!

44
00:03:06,268 --> 00:03:07,437
Hey, man.

45
00:03:07,470 --> 00:03:08,837
Hey, dude.

46
00:03:08,870 --> 00:03:10,505
Uh, glad you're here 'cause I need a ride.

47
00:03:10,538 --> 00:03:11,607
Oh, I knew it.

48
00:03:11,639 --> 00:03:13,075
You can't keep doing this.

49
00:03:13,108 --> 00:03:14,409
You can't just order a pizza

50
00:03:14,442 --> 00:03:16,144
every time you need a ride somewhere, okay?

51
00:03:16,178 --> 00:03:17,680
Why not? You're already out driving around.

52
00:03:19,848 --> 00:03:21,851
Plus my mom started charging me for rides.

53
00:03:21,883 --> 00:03:23,386
- What's the big deal?
- The big deal is

54
00:03:23,418 --> 00:03:24,686
I'm a working professional now

55
00:03:24,720 --> 00:03:26,188
and you need to respect that.

56
00:03:26,222 --> 00:03:27,657
You deliver pizzas.

57
00:03:27,690 --> 00:03:29,125
I work in food distribution

58
00:03:29,157 --> 00:03:30,459
for a multi-million dollar company.

59
00:03:30,493 --> 00:03:32,328
Where you deliver pizzas.

60
00:03:32,360 --> 00:03:33,696
Look, I've worked very
hard to turn my life around

61
00:03:33,728 --> 00:03:35,831
in a very short amount of time.

62
00:03:35,864 --> 00:03:38,133
Unlike you, I moved out
of my parents' house.

63
00:03:38,167 --> 00:03:40,402
Into my parents' house.

64
00:03:40,436 --> 00:03:42,138
Hi, boys.

65
00:03:42,170 --> 00:03:43,572
Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad.

66
00:03:43,606 --> 00:03:45,174
Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Hecox.

67
00:03:45,206 --> 00:03:46,542
So will you both be
home for dinner tonight?

68
00:03:46,574 --> 00:03:48,443
- Yeah.
- I can't.

69
00:03:48,477 --> 00:03:52,247
I'm fasting to fit my... my
new pair of jeggings I just got.

70
00:03:52,281 --> 00:03:53,850
- Okay.
- Oh.

71
00:03:53,882 --> 00:03:55,684
- Yup.
- Bye, Mom and Dad.

72
00:03:55,717 --> 00:03:57,453
- Uh-huh.
- Bye, Son.

73
00:03:57,485 --> 00:03:59,554
Bye. Thank you.

74
00:03:59,587 --> 00:04:01,424
Look, I've got a good job.

75
00:04:01,456 --> 00:04:03,158
I don't know why you can't see that.

76
00:04:03,192 --> 00:04:04,627
Would we call it good?

77
00:04:04,660 --> 00:04:06,762
$25 haircut, dude.

78
00:04:06,794 --> 00:04:08,563
I used to only ever pay, like, 10.

79
00:04:08,597 --> 00:04:10,700
My life is like a rocket ship right now...

80
00:04:10,733 --> 00:04:12,301
going nowhere but up.

81
00:04:12,334 --> 00:04:13,503
Yeah, I know you better than that, dude.

82
00:04:13,536 --> 00:04:14,904
You're still the same old Anthony

83
00:04:14,936 --> 00:04:16,506
who imagines Stone Cold Steve Austin

84
00:04:16,539 --> 00:04:18,174
complimenting him in the mirror.

85
00:04:18,207 --> 00:04:21,511
No, I grew out of talking
to him, like, forever ago.

86
00:04:21,544 --> 00:04:23,479
You're working too hard, man.

87
00:04:23,511 --> 00:04:24,913
You're out there
delivering pizzas for, like,

88
00:04:24,946 --> 00:04:26,581
two hours a day.

89
00:04:26,614 --> 00:04:29,285
It's high time you did
something for yourself.

90
00:04:29,318 --> 00:04:31,921
Oh, yeah, like give you a ride somewhere?

91
00:04:31,953 --> 00:04:35,323
I mean, I wasn't thinking that,
but, that would be great. Yeah.

92
00:04:35,357 --> 00:04:37,193
Let me guess. You want
to go to the Game Bang.

93
00:04:37,225 --> 00:04:38,360
All right, there he is.

94
00:04:38,393 --> 00:04:39,794
That's my boy. Come on.

95
00:04:39,828 --> 00:04:41,164
Let's do this. Yeah.

96
00:04:41,196 --> 00:04:42,431
Whoo! Yeah!

97
00:04:44,532 --> 00:04:46,301
Yo, Anthony.

98
00:04:46,335 --> 00:04:48,304
You're doing a hell of
job balancing such as busy

99
00:04:48,337 --> 00:04:50,539
- and complex life.
- Yeah, I know.

100
00:04:50,573 --> 00:04:53,176
But you got to start
working your glutes man.

101
00:04:53,208 --> 00:04:55,410
Looks like a loose lump
of Play-Doh down there.

102
00:04:55,443 --> 00:04:57,246
- Looks bad.
- Yeah, okay.

103
00:04:57,278 --> 00:05:00,282
I'll, um, I'll just do
some squats on my way out.

104
00:05:00,316 --> 00:05:03,286
Thanks.

105
00:05:04,720 --> 00:05:06,388
That pizza? Yeah, that'll be 10 bucks,

106
00:05:06,422 --> 00:05:07,556
by the way.

107
00:05:07,590 --> 00:05:08,924
Oh, dude, that's messed up.

108
00:05:08,958 --> 00:05:10,792
You're gonna charge your best friend?

109
00:05:12,895 --> 00:05:17,532
Did Steve Jobs give free iPhones
away to his friends? Nope.

110
00:05:17,566 --> 00:05:20,469
Um, you're not the CEO of pizza.

111
00:05:20,501 --> 00:05:21,836
Not yet.

112
00:05:26,308 --> 00:05:28,411
Look at that dumb car.

113
00:05:28,443 --> 00:05:30,246
$1.00.

114
00:05:30,278 --> 00:05:31,413
- That's it?
- Yup.

115
00:05:31,446 --> 00:05:32,881
I said 10 bucks.

116
00:05:32,914 --> 00:05:34,350
Well, you know, I'm a cheap ass.

117
00:05:38,854 --> 00:05:41,491
Ready to get your game bang on? Mm!

118
00:05:43,958 --> 00:05:46,362
Hey, cool car dickheads.

119
00:05:48,963 --> 00:05:51,299
Yeah, that is a cool car. You know why?

120
00:05:51,333 --> 00:05:53,835
'Cause it gets me this.

121
00:05:53,869 --> 00:05:55,804
- What?
- That's cold hard cash, son.

122
00:05:55,837 --> 00:05:57,506
What do you have to show for
what you've done today, punks?

123
00:05:57,539 --> 00:05:58,674
He just dropped some money on the ground,

124
00:05:58,707 --> 00:06:00,009
- he doesn't even care.
- Oh.

125
00:06:00,042 --> 00:06:01,710
- What?
- Really?

126
00:06:01,744 --> 00:06:03,446
- That's it?
- For real.

127
00:06:03,479 --> 00:06:05,781
- You see this watch?
- Yeah.

128
00:06:05,813 --> 00:06:07,984
I won it playing skeeball.

129
00:06:08,016 --> 00:06:09,584
Jesus, is that real?

130
00:06:09,617 --> 00:06:11,319
5 carats, yo.

131
00:06:11,352 --> 00:06:14,256
No one wears watches anymore.

132
00:06:14,289 --> 00:06:16,424
Come on, like, all you got
to do is look up at the sun.

133
00:06:16,458 --> 00:06:18,361
Like, right now, it's, uh, 4:0...

134
00:06:20,628 --> 00:06:21,597
5.

135
00:06:21,629 --> 00:06:22,999
4:05.

136
00:06:23,032 --> 00:06:24,900
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Deal with it.

137
00:06:24,933 --> 00:06:26,636
Loser.

138
00:06:26,669 --> 00:06:27,637
Uhh!

139
00:06:27,669 --> 00:06:29,472
Yeah, that's a pole.

140
00:06:33,508 --> 00:06:34,676
You know, we've been coming to this place

141
00:06:34,710 --> 00:06:35,845
since we were, like, eight.

142
00:06:35,878 --> 00:06:37,913
We should be out doing cooler stuff.

143
00:06:37,946 --> 00:06:40,416
- Like what?
- Like meeting girls.

144
00:06:40,448 --> 00:06:41,751
Like other stuff people
do that are our age.

145
00:06:41,784 --> 00:06:43,819
Um, no can do.

146
00:06:43,852 --> 00:06:45,721
I'm kind of seeing someone.

147
00:06:45,753 --> 00:06:46,989
Uh, no you're not.

148
00:06:47,022 --> 00:06:48,791
You leave creepy comments
on a YouTube video

149
00:06:48,823 --> 00:06:50,893
of a hot girl getting her butt massaged.

150
00:06:50,926 --> 00:06:52,928
That's, uh, that's not the
same thing as seeing someone.

151
00:06:52,960 --> 00:06:54,429
Do I see her?

152
00:06:54,462 --> 00:06:56,665
Look, you never even talk to her.

153
00:06:56,698 --> 00:06:58,667
She's flagged every
single one of my comments.

154
00:06:58,700 --> 00:07:00,068
Yeah, for being a perv.

155
00:07:00,102 --> 00:07:01,737
No, man. She's just playing hard to get.

156
00:07:01,770 --> 00:07:03,472
♪ Pocket Slave Monsters ♪

157
00:07:03,504 --> 00:07:05,774
- ♪ You now work for me ♪
- Dude, look what it is.

158
00:07:05,808 --> 00:07:08,778
<i>Magic Pocket Slave
Monsters.</i> Come on.

159
00:07:08,811 --> 00:07:10,912
Dude, I can't believe they got this thing.

160
00:07:10,946 --> 00:07:12,815
- Do you remember this?
- Yellow rat.

161
00:07:12,847 --> 00:07:15,849
I choose you against your will.

162
00:07:15,883 --> 00:07:17,552
Ah!

163
00:07:17,585 --> 00:07:19,854
Now get out there and murder your friends.

164
00:07:19,888 --> 00:07:21,489
Ah!

165
00:07:21,523 --> 00:07:24,893
Oh, it's a lot more
violent than I remember.

166
00:07:24,926 --> 00:07:27,929
What? No, dude, it was always like this.

167
00:07:27,962 --> 00:07:30,900
♪ I want to be the master ♪

168
00:07:30,933 --> 00:07:34,804
♪ I want to flip the switch ♪

169
00:07:34,837 --> 00:07:36,539
♪ I want to capture all these guys ♪

170
00:07:36,571 --> 00:07:37,906
How lame.

171
00:07:37,939 --> 00:07:39,941
♪ And make each one my bitch ♪

172
00:07:39,975 --> 00:07:42,345
Stop! Stop! Please.

173
00:07:42,378 --> 00:07:43,746
- Come on, man.
- What?

174
00:07:43,778 --> 00:07:46,915
- Dude, this was our jam.
- What?

175
00:07:46,948 --> 00:07:49,551
We used to love the game and the TV shows

176
00:07:49,585 --> 00:07:50,953
and the erotic fan fiction.

177
00:07:50,986 --> 00:07:53,055
- Oh, yeah.
- Uh, yeah.

178
00:07:53,087 --> 00:07:55,424
That was a long time ago, Ian.

179
00:07:55,457 --> 00:07:57,526
Not really into that kind of stuff anymore.

180
00:07:57,559 --> 00:07:58,594
Losers.

181
00:07:58,626 --> 00:08:00,061
Come on! Did you see those girls?

182
00:08:00,095 --> 00:08:02,465
Come on, dude. You loved it.

183
00:08:02,498 --> 00:08:03,933
I'm worried about you, man.

184
00:08:03,965 --> 00:08:05,667
I don't think you're
living in the real world.

185
00:08:05,700 --> 00:08:07,802
The real world sucks.

186
00:08:07,835 --> 00:08:10,872
The real world is actually pretty amazing.

187
00:08:10,905 --> 00:08:13,508
So, the kids that are
probably taking a dump

188
00:08:13,542 --> 00:08:15,578
on the cheese mobile, they're amazing?

189
00:08:15,611 --> 00:08:17,079
And what about all the
girls that are walking around

190
00:08:17,112 --> 00:08:19,381
that aren't talking to
you? Are they amazing?

191
00:08:19,414 --> 00:08:22,016
And these girls would talk to
me if you weren't here dancing

192
00:08:22,049 --> 00:08:24,652
to the theme song from <i>Magic
Pocket Slave Monsters.</i>

193
00:08:24,686 --> 00:08:26,489
Then who wants them?

194
00:08:26,522 --> 00:08:30,693
I do!

195
00:08:30,725 --> 00:08:32,861
Look, I got to go. My ten minutes are up.

196
00:08:32,894 --> 00:08:35,463
- I'm still on the clock.
- What?

197
00:08:35,497 --> 00:08:36,931
- Have fun.
- Wait.

198
00:08:36,965 --> 00:08:39,935
Dude, how am I supposed to get home?

199
00:08:39,968 --> 00:08:42,505
Sorry, one of us has a job here.

200
00:08:42,537 --> 00:08:46,575
Just take a cab or something.
I'll be home after my shift.

201
00:08:46,608 --> 00:08:48,109
Do it, do it!

202
00:08:48,143 --> 00:08:49,677
Do it! Do it!

203
00:08:49,710 --> 00:08:53,749
Do it, do it, do it, do it, do it!

204
00:08:53,782 --> 00:08:56,051
Hey, get off my cheese mobile.

205
00:08:56,084 --> 00:08:59,121
Run!

206
00:08:59,153 --> 00:09:01,456
Oh, my God.

207
00:09:01,489 --> 00:09:03,124
Yeah, get out of here.

208
00:09:03,157 --> 00:09:04,125
Punks.

209
00:09:37,158 --> 00:09:41,229
Do you have a name for your butt?

210
00:09:41,263 --> 00:09:44,834
May I suggest, "Perfect"?

211
00:09:55,009 --> 00:09:56,778
Hey, Ian?

212
00:09:56,811 --> 00:09:59,148
You've been seeing that
girl for a few months now.

213
00:09:59,181 --> 00:10:00,950
When do we get to meet her?

214
00:10:00,983 --> 00:10:04,787
I don't know, Mom. We're
not rushing into anything.

215
00:10:04,820 --> 00:10:06,121
- Bye.
- Okay, bye.

216
00:10:06,153 --> 00:10:08,023
- Bye.
- She seems lovely.

217
00:10:08,056 --> 00:10:09,658
She's amazing.

218
00:10:11,692 --> 00:10:13,194
Son...

219
00:10:13,228 --> 00:10:16,933
just... make sure she's not a dude.

220
00:10:21,269 --> 00:10:22,737
Unless you're into that sort of thing.

221
00:10:22,771 --> 00:10:27,009
In which case, it's totally cool.

222
00:10:27,042 --> 00:10:28,543
Okay.

223
00:10:28,576 --> 00:10:29,878
Great talk, Dad.

224
00:10:42,590 --> 00:10:45,994
Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

225
00:10:46,027 --> 00:10:47,662
Hey, I, uh... We haven't gotten our mail

226
00:10:47,696 --> 00:10:49,831
in, like, three months. What gives?

227
00:10:49,864 --> 00:10:51,600
Yeah, you might want to ask
your little friend about that.

228
00:10:51,633 --> 00:10:53,536
- Who Ian?
- The bowl-headed idiot

229
00:10:53,569 --> 00:10:55,104
with the face you just want to punch?

230
00:10:55,137 --> 00:10:57,138
- Yeah. Ian.
- Yeah, I'm done delivering mail

231
00:10:57,172 --> 00:10:59,108
to this house.

232
00:10:59,141 --> 00:11:00,575
You want your mail? Oh, you want your mail.

233
00:11:00,609 --> 00:11:01,576
- Okay.
- Yeah.

234
00:11:01,609 --> 00:11:02,945
Let me get you your mail.

235
00:11:02,978 --> 00:11:04,880
Here's your mail. You want your mail?

236
00:11:04,912 --> 00:11:06,315
- Oh!
- There's your mail.

237
00:11:06,348 --> 00:11:07,950
You must want your package, too.

238
00:11:07,983 --> 00:11:09,084
Here's your package.

239
00:11:11,018 --> 00:11:14,722
From now on, you get your
mail at the post office.

240
00:11:25,600 --> 00:11:29,138
Hey, what did you do to the mailman?

241
00:11:29,171 --> 00:11:31,140
Nothing. Why?

242
00:11:31,172 --> 00:11:33,643
You know what you did.

243
00:11:36,244 --> 00:11:38,580
Seriously, man? Butt Massage Girl again?

244
00:11:38,614 --> 00:11:40,782
She's my girlfriend and
she has a name, you know.

245
00:11:40,816 --> 00:11:42,317
Oh, really? What is it?

246
00:11:42,350 --> 00:11:44,352
I don't know, but I'm sure she has one.

247
00:11:44,385 --> 00:11:47,055
You know nothing about that girl.

248
00:11:47,089 --> 00:11:50,859
Uh, she likes butt massages. I know that.

249
00:11:50,892 --> 00:11:53,195
What does her face look like?

250
00:11:53,228 --> 00:11:55,965
Like a butt. I think.

251
00:11:55,998 --> 00:11:58,100
Look, it doesn't matter. We're a thing.

252
00:11:58,133 --> 00:12:02,705
Sure, our love is maybe a little
unconventional, but it's real.

253
00:12:04,906 --> 00:12:06,342
Nice!

254
00:12:06,374 --> 00:12:07,942
She really cares about me.

255
00:12:07,975 --> 00:12:10,044
Dude, we got some letters here.

256
00:12:10,077 --> 00:12:12,113
If it's from my grandma, check for Anthrax.

257
00:12:12,147 --> 00:12:15,383
Dude, we got an invite to our
five-year high school reunion.

258
00:12:15,417 --> 00:12:18,052
Really?

259
00:12:18,085 --> 00:12:20,121
When is it?

260
00:12:20,154 --> 00:12:22,790
It is...

261
00:12:22,824 --> 00:12:24,693
tonight.

262
00:12:24,725 --> 00:12:27,196
Cool.

263
00:12:27,229 --> 00:12:29,864
You do realize what this means, right?

264
00:12:29,898 --> 00:12:31,100
Free tacos?

265
00:12:31,133 --> 00:12:33,801
Yeah, free tacos, but more importantly...

266
00:12:33,835 --> 00:12:36,638
Anna Reed's probably gonna be there.

267
00:12:36,672 --> 00:12:40,042
Ugh, Anna Reed? What is it
with you and this girl, man?

268
00:12:42,344 --> 00:12:43,946
All right, fine.

269
00:12:43,979 --> 00:12:46,382
Get it over with.

270
00:12:46,415 --> 00:12:49,918
All throughout high school,
Anna Reed was the only girl

271
00:12:49,950 --> 00:12:51,787
I'd dream about.

272
00:12:51,820 --> 00:12:53,855
She was the girl of my dreams.

273
00:12:53,888 --> 00:12:55,990
They'll buff our feet.
It's gonna be awesome.

274
00:12:56,023 --> 00:12:57,325
You know, I was so awkward back then

275
00:12:57,359 --> 00:12:58,926
I didn't know how to talk to girls.

276
00:12:58,960 --> 00:12:59,894
Anthony.

277
00:13:01,729 --> 00:13:03,431
Bye.

278
00:13:03,465 --> 00:13:05,300
Hey.

279
00:13:05,332 --> 00:13:07,101
Hi... hey...

280
00:13:07,134 --> 00:13:08,703
What's up?

281
00:13:08,736 --> 00:13:11,072
So, um, this weekend,
I'm doing the Moonwalk

282
00:13:11,105 --> 00:13:12,807
for Ring Finger Largeasia.

283
00:13:12,840 --> 00:13:16,210
I'm moonwalking 37 miles to
raise awareness for people

284
00:13:16,244 --> 00:13:19,114
whose ring finger is longer
than their pointer finger.

285
00:13:19,147 --> 00:13:22,051
It's a very important cause
and one that's dear to my heart,

286
00:13:22,084 --> 00:13:25,421
because, see, my Uncle
Keith, he died of it.

287
00:13:25,454 --> 00:13:28,023
Jesus, that's...

288
00:13:28,056 --> 00:13:29,358
I'm really sorry for your loss.

289
00:13:29,391 --> 00:13:31,860
Would you wanna sponsor me?

290
00:13:31,893 --> 00:13:33,327
Uh, um...

291
00:13:33,360 --> 00:13:34,830
I mean, if you can't because of the money,

292
00:13:34,863 --> 00:13:36,799
that's totally fine.

293
00:13:36,831 --> 00:13:38,266
No, no, I have a ton of money.

294
00:13:38,300 --> 00:13:39,835
Oh, great!

295
00:13:39,868 --> 00:13:41,402
Actually, that's a lie. I don't...

296
00:13:41,436 --> 00:13:42,771
I only have 5 bucks and
that's my porn money...

297
00:13:42,803 --> 00:13:44,005
corn money!

298
00:13:44,038 --> 00:13:46,340
That's my corn money.

299
00:13:46,374 --> 00:13:48,777
Oh, well, that's okay.

300
00:13:48,810 --> 00:13:52,347
Um, maybe you could just join me

301
00:13:52,379 --> 00:13:55,283
and we could moonwalk together.

302
00:13:55,316 --> 00:13:56,984
I could use the moral support.

303
00:13:57,018 --> 00:14:00,022
It's probably gonna take
me a couple of weeks.

304
00:14:00,055 --> 00:14:02,291
37 miles, you said?

305
00:14:02,324 --> 00:14:05,094
37.4

306
00:14:05,127 --> 00:14:06,395
Okay. Yeah, yeah. Okay, I'll do it.

307
00:14:06,427 --> 00:14:07,495
You will?

308
00:14:07,528 --> 00:14:09,064
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Amazing!

309
00:14:16,204 --> 00:14:17,473
Cool.

310
00:14:21,810 --> 00:14:23,479
- Whoa!
- Oh!

311
00:14:25,846 --> 00:14:26,981
Dude, seriously?

312
00:14:27,014 --> 00:14:28,783
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

313
00:14:28,816 --> 00:14:30,485
Then you wussed out and you
never showed up to the Moonwalk.

314
00:14:30,518 --> 00:14:33,020
Dude, I've heard this
story a million times.

315
00:14:33,053 --> 00:14:34,388
What's your point?

316
00:14:34,422 --> 00:14:35,858
That this reunion is
the perfect opportunity

317
00:14:35,891 --> 00:14:38,193
to make Anna forget about how big of losers

318
00:14:38,225 --> 00:14:40,862
we used to be, you know,
show her how cool we are now?

319
00:14:40,896 --> 00:14:43,465
Are we cooler now than
we were in high school?

320
00:14:43,498 --> 00:14:47,169
Uh, $25 haircut, dude.

321
00:14:47,201 --> 00:14:48,369
Here, I need to check the reunion page

322
00:14:48,402 --> 00:14:49,872
to see if Anna's going.

323
00:14:51,205 --> 00:14:53,808
It says to dress for mall.

324
00:14:53,841 --> 00:14:55,376
We dress for the mall every day.

325
00:14:55,409 --> 00:14:57,278
No, it's saying "dress formal."

326
00:14:57,311 --> 00:15:01,149
It means we have to rent tuxedos.

327
00:15:01,182 --> 00:15:02,784
Yeah, I know that.

328
00:15:02,817 --> 00:15:04,385
Oh, well, guess she's not going.

329
00:15:04,418 --> 00:15:06,220
So, about the tux rentals, we
should probably get on that.

330
00:15:06,253 --> 00:15:07,989
It doesn't say that, okay?

331
00:15:08,023 --> 00:15:10,057
She's going. She just hasn't replied yet.

332
00:15:10,090 --> 00:15:12,260
Okay? I can feel it.

333
00:15:12,293 --> 00:15:14,428
Look, someone posted a video on here.

334
00:15:14,461 --> 00:15:16,931
Have you thought about
life insurance lately?

335
00:15:16,965 --> 00:15:18,533
Because here at All-Chafe,

336
00:15:18,566 --> 00:15:20,835
we want to protect your family
from your impending death.

337
00:15:20,869 --> 00:15:23,806
Ugh, I hate advertisements. Skip it.

338
00:15:23,839 --> 00:15:25,874
If you don't buy All-Chafe Insurance,

339
00:15:25,907 --> 00:15:27,209
there's a good chance your
entire family will be dead

340
00:15:27,242 --> 00:15:29,444
by next week.

341
00:15:29,476 --> 00:15:30,578
Buffering?

342
00:15:30,611 --> 00:15:32,013
That still exists?

343
00:15:32,047 --> 00:15:33,014
Everybody put your hands together.

344
00:15:33,047 --> 00:15:35,417
Whoo-hoo!

345
00:15:35,450 --> 00:15:36,819
Is <i>Magic Pocket Slave
Monsters</i> the best song ever?

346
00:15:36,851 --> 00:15:38,152
Dude, that's you. Cool!

347
00:15:38,186 --> 00:15:40,822
Anna Reed, get up here,
get up here, Anna Reed.

348
00:15:40,855 --> 00:15:44,058
Right there. I really want you to see this.

349
00:15:44,091 --> 00:15:46,928
Hit it, Mr. Ellis!

350
00:15:46,961 --> 00:15:49,497
♪ I wanna be the master ♪

351
00:15:49,531 --> 00:15:52,367
♪ I wanna flip the switch ♪

352
00:15:53,634 --> 00:15:55,937
Dude, that's awesome, you're...

353
00:15:55,970 --> 00:15:59,140
You're, like, doing
flips and stuff, kind of.

354
00:15:59,173 --> 00:16:01,909
Whoa!

355
00:16:01,942 --> 00:16:03,412
My butt!

356
00:16:03,445 --> 00:16:05,113
Oh, no. God, I can't believe

357
00:16:05,146 --> 00:16:06,915
this is happening to me right now.

358
00:16:06,947 --> 00:16:08,015
Well, I mean, it's not
happening to you right now.

359
00:16:08,048 --> 00:16:10,351
It happened five years ago.

360
00:16:10,384 --> 00:16:12,453
Look at the views. There's 301 views.

361
00:16:12,486 --> 00:16:13,454
That's like the entire attendance

362
00:16:13,488 --> 00:16:15,123
of a football stadium.

363
00:16:15,156 --> 00:16:16,959
You know, in a small town
with a high school team

364
00:16:16,992 --> 00:16:18,594
whose record is, like, five and five,

365
00:16:18,627 --> 00:16:20,229
and they're not terrible,
but they're not great,

366
00:16:20,262 --> 00:16:21,530
and they're losing a lot of close games...

367
00:16:21,562 --> 00:16:23,164
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I get it. I get it.

368
00:16:23,197 --> 00:16:25,433
If Anna sees this video,
it's gonna remind her

369
00:16:25,466 --> 00:16:27,501
about how much of a loser I used to be.

370
00:16:27,534 --> 00:16:31,138
And the fact that I'm
super-cool now won't even matter.

371
00:16:31,172 --> 00:16:33,008
I can't go to this reunion now.

372
00:16:33,041 --> 00:16:35,176
I have to stay here at home
and never know if kissing Anna

373
00:16:35,210 --> 00:16:37,245
really feels like licking a wet donut.

374
00:16:37,278 --> 00:16:40,982
All right, dude, if you
don't go, I don't go.

375
00:16:41,016 --> 00:16:43,218
Mostly 'cause I don't have a car.

376
00:16:43,250 --> 00:16:45,253
And will it hurt to miss out on free tacos?

377
00:16:45,287 --> 00:16:46,254
Sure it will.

378
00:16:46,287 --> 00:16:47,955
Like a son of a bitch.

379
00:16:47,989 --> 00:16:52,194
But you're my best friend,
and I got your back.

380
00:16:52,226 --> 00:16:54,629
- Thanks.
- Okay, we're not giving up yet.

381
00:16:54,662 --> 00:16:57,032
Anna Reed hasn't replied
to the invite yet, right?

382
00:16:57,065 --> 00:16:59,501
So, she probably hasn't been to the page.

383
00:16:59,533 --> 00:17:01,903
She probably hasn't even seen the video.

384
00:17:01,936 --> 00:17:04,238
You're right. So all we have to do is...

385
00:17:04,272 --> 00:17:06,340
- Is go to the reunion.
- go and get the video removed

386
00:17:06,373 --> 00:17:09,310
from YouTube before Anna sees the video.

387
00:17:09,343 --> 00:17:10,278
What?

388
00:17:13,080 --> 00:17:14,248
Thank you for calling
YouTube. This is Stephanie.

389
00:17:14,282 --> 00:17:15,583
How may I direct your call?

390
00:17:15,617 --> 00:17:18,052
Hi, Stephanie. My name is Anthony Padilla,

391
00:17:18,086 --> 00:17:20,322
and I have a very important
issue I'd like your help with.

392
00:17:20,355 --> 00:17:22,958
I need a video removed and
never shown on your website

393
00:17:22,991 --> 00:17:24,960
ever again.

394
00:17:24,993 --> 00:17:26,994
Okay. Are you a rich
and powerful corporation

395
00:17:27,028 --> 00:17:29,298
that can threaten us with legal action?

396
00:17:29,330 --> 00:17:30,599
- No.
- Then I can't help you.

397
00:17:30,631 --> 00:17:31,933
Good-bye.

398
00:17:33,734 --> 00:17:35,303
Didn't work.

399
00:17:35,337 --> 00:17:36,338
Well, that doesn't really matter, dude.

400
00:17:36,370 --> 00:17:38,974
The video's awesome.

401
00:17:39,006 --> 00:17:41,176
It won't be awesome when Anna sees it.

402
00:17:43,511 --> 00:17:45,214
I think I have an idea.

403
00:17:48,183 --> 00:17:49,618
This is never gonna work.

404
00:17:49,650 --> 00:17:50,718
If you want something done right,

405
00:17:50,752 --> 00:17:52,321
you just talk to the right people.

406
00:17:52,353 --> 00:17:56,590
And you got to look them
dead in the eye and beg.

407
00:18:09,704 --> 00:18:12,107
Hey, do me a favor, let
me do all the talking.

408
00:18:12,139 --> 00:18:14,242
Okay? Your people skills are terrible.

409
00:18:14,274 --> 00:18:16,744
What are you talking about?
I have amazing people skills

410
00:18:16,778 --> 00:18:18,146
Oh, let me get that.

411
00:18:20,482 --> 00:18:21,716
Ah!

412
00:18:21,750 --> 00:18:24,486
- Oh!
- Ah! Aah!

413
00:18:24,519 --> 00:18:27,489
I am so glad that happened.

414
00:18:27,522 --> 00:18:30,759
That was the funniest
thing I've seen all day.

415
00:18:30,792 --> 00:18:32,226
Good day, sir. Good day, sir.

416
00:18:32,260 --> 00:18:35,129
I did that. I did that.

417
00:18:35,163 --> 00:18:36,665
Hi there, darling.

418
00:18:36,697 --> 00:18:40,634
I am a very important, big,
rich CEO of a powerful company.

419
00:18:40,667 --> 00:18:43,705
And I am his boss.

420
00:18:43,737 --> 00:18:45,706
Well, now, Ian, a CEO

421
00:18:45,740 --> 00:18:47,776
does not have a boss, okay?

422
00:18:47,809 --> 00:18:51,680
I beg to differ, Anthony,
because I am the CFO

423
00:18:51,713 --> 00:18:55,117
and that's one letter higher than CEO.

424
00:18:55,149 --> 00:18:56,618
Well, Ian, you must've misheard me,

425
00:18:56,650 --> 00:19:00,054
because I'm actually the CEOO,

426
00:19:00,088 --> 00:19:02,224
which has one more letter,
so it's more important.

427
00:19:02,256 --> 00:19:06,027
Hey! It's you.

428
00:19:06,061 --> 00:19:07,396
I know you.

429
00:19:07,428 --> 00:19:10,564
You're the kid from that crazy video

430
00:19:10,598 --> 00:19:13,335
You're the Backflip Microphone Guy!

431
00:19:13,368 --> 00:19:15,302
It's the guy! This guy. You know it.

432
00:19:15,336 --> 00:19:16,671
She got it. She knows what it is.

433
00:19:16,704 --> 00:19:18,072
Okay, that's actually why we're here.

434
00:19:18,106 --> 00:19:19,207
Okay, I have a question for you.

435
00:19:19,240 --> 00:19:20,642
When you regained consciousness,

436
00:19:20,675 --> 00:19:22,778
and you fell off the stage
and you landed on the mic,

437
00:19:22,811 --> 00:19:25,246
did the whole thing go up your ass?

438
00:19:25,280 --> 00:19:27,482
Or was it some sort of, like,
special effects wizardry?

439
00:19:27,514 --> 00:19:29,383
Okay, can we just keep it down, please?

440
00:19:29,417 --> 00:19:31,653
Okay, 'cause I was watching
with my husband... Sorry, taken.

441
00:19:31,686 --> 00:19:33,789
And he was like, "Where'd
the microphone go?"

442
00:19:33,821 --> 00:19:36,491
And I was like, "I think
it's in that boy's ass."

443
00:19:36,523 --> 00:19:38,260
Okay, that's enough, okay?

444
00:19:38,292 --> 00:19:41,362
You will not take that tone with me.

445
00:19:41,396 --> 00:19:43,697
You're right. I'm sorry.

446
00:19:43,731 --> 00:19:45,534
Okay? It's just that my friend and I

447
00:19:45,567 --> 00:19:48,236
have a very important
issue we need to discuss.

448
00:19:48,269 --> 00:19:50,072
It's a matter we'd like to take up directly

449
00:19:50,105 --> 00:19:52,607
with the CEO of this establishment,

450
00:19:52,639 --> 00:19:54,309
if you don't mind.

451
00:19:54,341 --> 00:19:57,745
So, is Mr. YouTube available
to see us right now?

452
00:19:57,779 --> 00:20:01,148
Mr. YouTube?

453
00:20:01,182 --> 00:20:03,551
Yup, we're going straight to the top.

454
00:20:03,584 --> 00:20:05,653
Okay, first of all, the CEO of YouTube

455
00:20:05,686 --> 00:20:07,254
is not just gonna sit down

456
00:20:07,288 --> 00:20:08,723
with two random guys off the street.

457
00:20:08,755 --> 00:20:10,624
And even if he did, I'm pretty sure

458
00:20:10,657 --> 00:20:13,561
the guy's name is not "Mr. YouTube."

459
00:20:13,594 --> 00:20:15,463
Mr. YouTube will see you now.

460
00:20:15,496 --> 00:20:19,133
His office is just at
the end of that hallway.

461
00:20:19,167 --> 00:20:20,702
Really?

462
00:20:20,734 --> 00:20:22,771
I don't care what Billy Snapchat says.

463
00:20:22,803 --> 00:20:25,239
Billy Snapchat is a little bitch.

464
00:20:25,273 --> 00:20:27,542
I'm Steve YouTube. What I say goes.

465
00:20:27,574 --> 00:20:29,844
No, I had lunch with Sally Instagram

466
00:20:29,878 --> 00:20:30,878
three days ago.

467
00:20:30,911 --> 00:20:33,347
She and Roger Facebook are in.

468
00:20:33,380 --> 00:20:35,117
Now, if you don't want
to get on board with this,

469
00:20:35,149 --> 00:20:38,186
then you are a stupid jerk idiot.

470
00:20:38,218 --> 00:20:39,753
Sorry for the French.
All right, I got to go.

471
00:20:39,786 --> 00:20:41,523
I've got two random guys in my office

472
00:20:41,555 --> 00:20:43,424
I've never met before, and
they need something from me.

473
00:20:43,457 --> 00:20:44,426
And I can't keep them waiting.

474
00:20:44,458 --> 00:20:46,260
Good-bye.
Good-bye!

475
00:20:46,293 --> 00:20:47,495
Sorry about that.

476
00:20:47,529 --> 00:20:49,598
That was Ted Google.

477
00:20:49,630 --> 00:20:52,868
Guy's been a pain in my butt
ever since he bought my company.

478
00:20:52,900 --> 00:20:55,469
Hi. Steve YouTube. Pleasure to meet you.

479
00:20:55,503 --> 00:20:57,505
- Hi.
- I don't touch. I don't touch.

480
00:20:57,539 --> 00:20:59,307
I'm Ian and this is...

481
00:20:59,340 --> 00:21:00,742
Backflip Microphone Guy!

482
00:21:00,774 --> 00:21:04,745
Dude, that is one of my
all-time favorite videos.

483
00:21:04,779 --> 00:21:06,915
What can I do for you guys?

484
00:21:06,947 --> 00:21:08,249
Well, Mr. YouTube...

485
00:21:08,282 --> 00:21:09,650
Oh, no, no, no. Please.

486
00:21:09,684 --> 00:21:13,288
Call me Steve. YouTube.
Call me Steve YouTube.

487
00:21:13,321 --> 00:21:16,858
Okay. So, Steve YouTube,
I need that thing...

488
00:21:16,890 --> 00:21:19,727
- Awesome video.
- Shh.

489
00:21:19,761 --> 00:21:21,897
I need that thing that you mentioned...

490
00:21:21,929 --> 00:21:24,198
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, the video.

491
00:21:24,232 --> 00:21:25,466
- Hilarious, right?
- Hilarious.

492
00:21:25,500 --> 00:21:29,538
Shut... uuuup.

493
00:21:29,571 --> 00:21:31,173
Okay, so, yeah, I need that video removed

494
00:21:31,205 --> 00:21:33,641
from your website, please.

495
00:21:33,675 --> 00:21:35,609
Ah, yes, yeah.

496
00:21:35,642 --> 00:21:36,911
I got to be honest with you guys.

497
00:21:36,945 --> 00:21:38,679
This thing... this kind
of thing happens more

498
00:21:38,713 --> 00:21:40,248
than you would imagine.

499
00:21:40,281 --> 00:21:41,483
Not the microphone thing.

500
00:21:41,515 --> 00:21:42,683
But the embarrassment thing.

501
00:21:42,716 --> 00:21:44,518
And here's the problem.

502
00:21:44,551 --> 00:21:49,323
Once a video is uploaded to the
Internet, it's there forever.

503
00:21:49,357 --> 00:21:53,695
Your best bet is to actually
go into YouTube itself

504
00:21:53,727 --> 00:21:57,465
and change the video from the inside.

505
00:21:57,497 --> 00:22:00,267
So you mean, like, go into YouTube,

506
00:22:00,301 --> 00:22:02,236
like, Tron-style?

507
00:22:02,270 --> 00:22:03,905
No, you're messing with us, right?

508
00:22:03,937 --> 00:22:05,840
- There's... you... what is this?
- Yeah, that's not...

509
00:22:05,872 --> 00:22:07,641
- That's not possible.
- That doesn't sound possible.

510
00:22:07,675 --> 00:22:11,245
Hey, guys, I'm Steve Friggin' YouTube.

511
00:22:11,279 --> 00:22:14,516
If I say you can get up inside YouTube,

512
00:22:14,549 --> 00:22:17,752
then you can get up inside YouTube.

513
00:22:17,784 --> 00:22:20,688
I did not mean for that to
sound sexual. I apologize.

514
00:22:20,722 --> 00:22:24,526
What I should have said is, if
you wanna penetrate YouTube...

515
00:22:24,559 --> 00:22:26,461
That was worse. You know what?

516
00:22:26,494 --> 00:22:29,330
Forget it. My point is this.

517
00:22:29,363 --> 00:22:32,866
I have to do this kind of
thing for people all the time.

518
00:22:32,899 --> 00:22:35,769
You guys remember Gangnam style?

519
00:22:35,802 --> 00:22:37,004
Do you remember that video by that...

520
00:22:37,038 --> 00:22:38,006
I think it was a Puerto Rican guy?

521
00:22:38,039 --> 00:22:39,840
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Yeah.

522
00:22:39,873 --> 00:22:43,677
Well, you think Psy nailed
that video on the first take?

523
00:22:43,711 --> 00:22:47,616
Nope. I actually think I have
the original video right here.

524
00:22:47,648 --> 00:22:48,617
Check it out.

525
00:22:48,649 --> 00:22:50,884
♪ Hey, sexy lady ♪

526
00:22:50,917 --> 00:22:52,553
♪ Up, up, up ♪

527
00:22:52,587 --> 00:22:54,388
♪ Up, oh ♪

528
00:22:54,421 --> 00:22:56,290
♪ Gangnam style ♪

529
00:22:56,323 --> 00:22:57,993
It's so bad.

530
00:22:58,025 --> 00:23:00,327
Right? I mean, there's
not even a dancing horse.

531
00:23:00,360 --> 00:23:01,996
How hard is it to get a horse to dance?

532
00:23:02,030 --> 00:23:03,697
Probably not that hard.

533
00:23:03,731 --> 00:23:05,467
It's very hard.

534
00:23:05,500 --> 00:23:07,502
No, no, no, this is
perfect. This is perfect.

535
00:23:07,534 --> 00:23:11,339
So how do we, uh, get inside
YouTube to fix our video?

536
00:23:11,371 --> 00:23:13,440
Great question. Simple answer.

537
00:23:13,474 --> 00:23:17,479
There's actually a portal
right under my desk.

538
00:23:17,512 --> 00:23:21,316
- A portal?
- That doesn't sound right.

539
00:23:21,349 --> 00:23:25,287
This, um, this doesn't seem safe.

540
00:23:25,320 --> 00:23:29,057
Guys, it's me, Steve, YouTube.

541
00:23:29,090 --> 00:23:30,558
Steve YouTube.

542
00:23:30,590 --> 00:23:31,859
If I say there's a portal under my desk

543
00:23:31,892 --> 00:23:33,494
that will get you into YouTube,

544
00:23:33,528 --> 00:23:36,064
there's a portal under my desk.

545
00:23:36,097 --> 00:23:38,667
It just kind of seems like, you
know, we might crawl down there,

546
00:23:38,699 --> 00:23:41,802
and you might have your
wiener out or, some...

547
00:23:41,836 --> 00:23:42,804
- Excuse me?
- Definitely your wiener.

548
00:23:42,837 --> 00:23:45,040
Excuse me.

549
00:23:45,072 --> 00:23:48,475
I don't know what kind of
meeting you thought this was.

550
00:23:48,509 --> 00:23:52,614
Frankly, I find that suggestion offensive.

551
00:23:52,647 --> 00:23:55,582
I'm Steve YouTube. I created all of this.

552
00:23:55,616 --> 00:23:58,353
You think I would jeopardize
that by putting my,

553
00:23:58,386 --> 00:24:01,388
what did you say, "wiener" out?

554
00:24:01,421 --> 00:24:03,324
I don't think so. Now, look, I'm very busy.

555
00:24:03,358 --> 00:24:04,826
You guys can see yourselves
out. If you don't wanna change

556
00:24:04,859 --> 00:24:06,561
the video, you don't
wanna change the video.

557
00:24:06,593 --> 00:24:08,929
Janice, get me Bethany
MySpace on the phone, please.

558
00:24:08,963 --> 00:24:11,032
No, no, no I... It's
cool. We're gonna do it.

559
00:24:11,064 --> 00:24:12,933
We're gonna change our video.

560
00:24:12,966 --> 00:24:14,401
- Yeah, just crawl...
- Really?

561
00:24:14,435 --> 00:24:15,936
- All right.
- Yeah, go right around

562
00:24:15,969 --> 00:24:17,705
- the desk and crawl under.
- Let's do it, man.

563
00:24:17,738 --> 00:24:18,806
And go to the portal.

564
00:24:18,840 --> 00:24:19,808
- Whoa!
- Oh my...

565
00:24:19,840 --> 00:24:20,809
- What?
- Dude!

566
00:24:20,841 --> 00:24:22,409
That!

567
00:24:22,443 --> 00:24:23,845
- Damn it! Put it away!
- Oh! That's not...

568
00:24:23,878 --> 00:24:26,114
You thought there was
a portal under my desk,

569
00:24:26,147 --> 00:24:27,581
and you saw my wiener.

570
00:24:27,615 --> 00:24:32,087
That is the best joke ever.

571
00:24:32,119 --> 00:24:34,688
So there's no portal, then.
You're just messing with us.

572
00:24:34,722 --> 00:24:36,858
Of course there's a portal.

573
00:24:36,890 --> 00:24:39,494
But it's not under my desk, you morons.

574
00:24:39,526 --> 00:24:42,496
It's behind my closet door.

575
00:24:42,530 --> 00:24:43,732
- Go on.
- Okay.

576
00:24:45,699 --> 00:24:48,369
Yeah, it's just right there. Go on in.

577
00:24:48,403 --> 00:24:53,408
Um, yeah, this doesn't
feel very safe either.

578
00:24:53,440 --> 00:24:56,944
Guys, I had my fun,
okay, but fun time's over.

579
00:24:56,977 --> 00:24:58,679
Not everything in life is a wiener joke.

580
00:25:02,750 --> 00:25:06,955
Holy shit!

581
00:25:06,987 --> 00:25:10,023
- Whoo!
- Whoa!

582
00:25:10,057 --> 00:25:11,493
Take these.

583
00:25:11,525 --> 00:25:12,994
What do we do with these?

584
00:25:13,026 --> 00:25:14,763
Gentlemen, meet Diri.

585
00:25:14,795 --> 00:25:16,930
She'll be your guide
once you're on the inside.

586
00:25:16,964 --> 00:25:19,067
Hello, Ian. Hello Anthony.

587
00:25:19,100 --> 00:25:22,570
I hope I can be of service to you both.

588
00:25:22,602 --> 00:25:24,438
Wait, her name is "Diri"?

589
00:25:24,472 --> 00:25:26,508
That's right. She's a
personal assistant software.

590
00:25:26,541 --> 00:25:29,077
- So she's like Siri?
- Hey. Hey.

591
00:25:29,109 --> 00:25:31,413
We don't draw that comparison here.

592
00:25:31,446 --> 00:25:32,914
- You understand me?
- It's just that...

593
00:25:32,946 --> 00:25:34,581
Hey, Bieber, you understand me?

594
00:25:34,615 --> 00:25:36,618
Diri and Siri, it's kind of...

595
00:25:36,650 --> 00:25:37,885
It's... it does kind of sound similar.

596
00:25:37,918 --> 00:25:39,521
People are gonna draw the conclusions.

597
00:25:39,553 --> 00:25:40,788
- It sounds...
- I'm gonna have my R&D team

598
00:25:40,821 --> 00:25:42,590
take a look at that. Now listen to me.

599
00:25:42,622 --> 00:25:45,192
Diri is gonna be your guide
once you get through that portal.

600
00:25:45,225 --> 00:25:47,695
Anyplace you need to go, you tell Diri,

601
00:25:47,727 --> 00:25:49,062
she will take you there.

602
00:25:49,096 --> 00:25:51,132
Like, Siri.

603
00:25:51,165 --> 00:25:52,966
Okay. Cool. Cool-cool.

604
00:25:53,000 --> 00:25:57,539
All right. Safe travels, gentlemen.

605
00:25:57,571 --> 00:25:59,640
You sure you want to do this?

606
00:25:59,674 --> 00:26:03,211
Yeah. If I don't do this,
I'll never be anything to Anna.

607
00:26:03,244 --> 00:26:05,513
All right. I'm with you.

608
00:26:05,545 --> 00:26:07,014
- Ready?
- Yeah. Yeah.

609
00:26:07,048 --> 00:26:09,117
- B.
- F.

610
00:26:09,149 --> 00:26:10,918
F. Let's go.

611
00:26:10,952 --> 00:26:12,787
Let's do it.

612
00:26:12,820 --> 00:26:15,756
- Ready?
- Yeah.

613
00:26:15,790 --> 00:26:17,492
- Let's do this.
- You first.

614
00:26:20,194 --> 00:26:22,464
Good luck!

615
00:26:27,869 --> 00:26:29,670
What the hell is this, dude?

616
00:26:29,704 --> 00:26:31,539
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

617
00:26:31,571 --> 00:26:32,873
Oh, man.

618
00:26:32,907 --> 00:26:35,976
Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

619
00:26:36,010 --> 00:26:37,744
Look out below!

620
00:26:37,778 --> 00:26:39,581
Whoo! Whoo!

621
00:26:44,651 --> 00:26:46,220
Did we do it?

622
00:26:46,253 --> 00:26:48,055
Are we in YouTube?

623
00:26:48,089 --> 00:26:51,658
I don't know. It doesn't
really feel like YouTube.

624
00:26:51,692 --> 00:26:53,995
Have you thought about
life insurance lately?

625
00:26:54,028 --> 00:26:55,730
'Cause here at All-Chafe,

626
00:26:55,763 --> 00:26:58,566
we wanna protect your family
from your impending death.

627
00:26:58,599 --> 00:26:59,934
Yup, we're definitely in YouTube.

628
00:26:59,966 --> 00:27:01,168
It's this friggin' advertisement.

629
00:27:01,202 --> 00:27:02,837
If you don't buy All-Chafe Insurance,

630
00:27:02,869 --> 00:27:04,705
- there's a good chance...
- Diri,

631
00:27:04,738 --> 00:27:07,040
can we skip this ad, please?

632
00:27:07,073 --> 00:27:08,943
Sure. Let me help you with that.

633
00:27:12,079 --> 00:27:14,581
Uh, yeah, Diri, could
you also go full screen?

634
00:27:14,615 --> 00:27:16,518
'Cause we can't see zilch.

635
00:27:16,551 --> 00:27:18,854
Certainly. I can do that.

636
00:27:21,722 --> 00:27:22,924
That's better.

637
00:27:24,058 --> 00:27:27,061
Diri, where are we?

638
00:27:27,093 --> 00:27:29,730
Anthony, you are in a bear attack video.

639
00:27:36,337 --> 00:27:38,205
Diri, get us out of here.

640
00:27:38,238 --> 00:27:41,975
You said, "Get me a beer." Is that correct?

641
00:27:42,009 --> 00:27:45,547
What? No! I said, get us out of here!

642
00:27:45,580 --> 00:27:47,115
Aah!

643
00:27:52,186 --> 00:27:54,054
Hello, everybody. My name is Markiplier.

644
00:27:54,088 --> 00:27:57,225
And welcome to <i>Gorilla
Chainsaw Massacre.</i>

645
00:27:57,257 --> 00:28:00,093
As you can see, I'm a pissed-off
gorilla with a chainsaw.

646
00:28:00,127 --> 00:28:02,597
Doesn't really make a lot
of sense, but then again,

647
00:28:02,629 --> 00:28:04,631
I don't really care.

648
00:28:06,000 --> 00:28:07,969
Diri, help!

649
00:28:08,002 --> 00:28:10,138
Taking you to Yelp.

650
00:28:10,170 --> 00:28:11,838
Leave a review online.

651
00:28:11,871 --> 00:28:13,941
- What?
- I hate you.

652
00:28:13,975 --> 00:28:15,810
A gorilla with a chainsaw.

653
00:28:15,842 --> 00:28:17,744
I don't have a full grasp on human speech,

654
00:28:17,778 --> 00:28:20,014
but I can operate a gas-powered chainsaw?

655
00:28:20,046 --> 00:28:21,048
Oh, God!

656
00:28:22,315 --> 00:28:24,585
Diri, get us out of here now!

657
00:28:24,619 --> 00:28:26,154
There is no reason to yell at me.

658
00:28:26,186 --> 00:28:28,055
Die, puny humans, die!

659
00:28:29,991 --> 00:28:31,792
- Ah!
- Oh!

660
00:28:35,896 --> 00:28:38,966
Wait, are we...

661
00:28:39,000 --> 00:28:40,868
I think we're home.

662
00:28:40,900 --> 00:28:43,638
Diri, what the hell is your problem?

663
00:28:43,670 --> 00:28:46,773
I'm a piece of intelligent
software, not a mind reader.

664
00:28:46,807 --> 00:28:48,276
And I would greatly appreciate

665
00:28:48,309 --> 00:28:50,945
if you would refrain from using expletives.

666
00:28:50,977 --> 00:28:53,715
Don't think that just
because you're super-hot,

667
00:28:53,747 --> 00:28:54,982
you don't have to be specific.

668
00:28:55,015 --> 00:28:56,817
- What?
- What?

669
00:28:57,849 --> 00:28:58,285
Anthony, check this out.

670
00:29:00,987 --> 00:29:02,222
Here's your pizza.

671
00:29:02,255 --> 00:29:03,725
I remember this video.

672
00:29:03,757 --> 00:29:05,325
I shot it three months ago.

673
00:29:05,359 --> 00:29:06,860
Such an idiot.

674
00:29:06,894 --> 00:29:07,996
You're looking pretty hot, yourself.

675
00:29:08,029 --> 00:29:09,196
Call me up later, right?

676
00:29:09,230 --> 00:29:10,865
You wanna see a little skin?

677
00:29:10,898 --> 00:29:13,266
It's gonna blow your mind.

678
00:29:13,300 --> 00:29:17,271
No, I'm sorry, I'm not allowed
to take off my shirt, but, uh...

679
00:29:17,303 --> 00:29:19,273
give you a little bit of that...

680
00:29:21,308 --> 00:29:23,077
You were filming this?

681
00:29:23,109 --> 00:29:24,145
I was bored.

682
00:29:24,177 --> 00:29:25,812
Hey, boys.

683
00:29:25,846 --> 00:29:27,349
- Hi.
- Hi.

684
00:29:29,783 --> 00:29:30,984
This is so weird.

685
00:29:31,017 --> 00:29:33,286
Yeah. Yeah, I work out my glutes.

686
00:29:33,320 --> 00:29:35,956
Just imagine this in jeggings.

687
00:29:38,792 --> 00:29:40,227
Mailman.

688
00:29:40,261 --> 00:29:41,229
Oh, dude.

689
00:29:41,262 --> 00:29:42,230
Check this out.

690
00:29:52,773 --> 00:29:53,975
What are you doing behind that tree?

691
00:29:54,007 --> 00:29:54,975
Just watch.

692
00:29:55,009 --> 00:29:56,778
Here it comes.

693
00:29:56,811 --> 00:29:58,346
Take this, Mailman!

694
00:29:58,378 --> 00:29:59,981
Yeah! Yeah!

695
00:30:00,013 --> 00:30:01,282
Take it!

696
00:30:01,314 --> 00:30:02,850
Yeah!

697
00:30:02,882 --> 00:30:04,317
Dude, I have to wear this all day.

698
00:30:04,350 --> 00:30:05,453
Deal with it, bitch.

699
00:30:06,753 --> 00:30:07,722
Yeah!

700
00:30:12,059 --> 00:30:13,695
Ha-ha!

701
00:30:18,264 --> 00:30:20,001
Oh, man.

702
00:30:20,033 --> 00:30:21,703
Yeah!

703
00:30:21,735 --> 00:30:23,271
Well, this explains why the mailman

704
00:30:23,303 --> 00:30:24,438
stopped delivering our mail.

705
00:30:24,472 --> 00:30:26,474
God, I'm so funny.

706
00:30:26,506 --> 00:30:27,475
Milk balloons.

707
00:30:27,507 --> 00:30:29,009
Classic Ian.

708
00:30:29,042 --> 00:30:31,478
It was kind of a jerk move, dude.

709
00:30:31,512 --> 00:30:34,081
Come on, man. We used to do
milk balloons all the time.

710
00:30:34,115 --> 00:30:35,349
Yeah, when we were kids.

711
00:30:35,381 --> 00:30:37,851
You little bastard.

712
00:30:42,356 --> 00:30:44,859
Okay, okay. We get it.

713
00:31:04,978 --> 00:31:06,947
Do you realize what this means?

714
00:31:06,981 --> 00:31:08,082
Yeah. I should've used bigger balloons.

715
00:31:08,115 --> 00:31:09,317
That guy was barely soaked.

716
00:31:09,350 --> 00:31:10,917
No, no, no!

717
00:31:10,951 --> 00:31:13,020
The mailman punched you in the face, right?

718
00:31:13,052 --> 00:31:14,455
Yeah.

719
00:31:14,487 --> 00:31:19,092
That means we can actually
interact with these videos.

720
00:31:19,126 --> 00:31:20,762
Oh, yeah, you're right.

721
00:31:20,794 --> 00:31:22,095
All right, so I'm gonna
get some bigger balloons

722
00:31:22,128 --> 00:31:23,097
and more milk...

723
00:31:23,129 --> 00:31:24,197
No, no, no, no.

724
00:31:24,231 --> 00:31:27,969
Just stay focused, man. Come on.

725
00:31:28,002 --> 00:31:31,339
Diri, take us to our
graduation night video.

726
00:31:31,371 --> 00:31:33,940
It's time for some redemption.

727
00:31:33,974 --> 00:31:36,910
I am now taking you to Jenna Marbles.

728
00:31:36,944 --> 00:31:38,178
Wait, what?

729
00:31:38,212 --> 00:31:40,414
Now she's just screwing with us.

730
00:31:40,446 --> 00:31:42,816
Listen, if you're a guy
and you're wearing eyeliner,

731
00:31:42,850 --> 00:31:45,253
not like Halloween eyeliner
or anything like that,

732
00:31:45,285 --> 00:31:49,055
like all-day, everyday
eyeliner, I got news for you.

733
00:31:49,089 --> 00:31:51,993
It's hot. I like that. Keep
doing what you're doing.

734
00:31:52,025 --> 00:31:53,326
What the hell, man?

735
00:31:53,359 --> 00:31:55,963
Diri, damn it!

736
00:31:55,995 --> 00:31:57,165
Jenna, I'm really sorry, okay?

737
00:31:57,197 --> 00:31:58,532
Just forget we were ever here.

738
00:31:58,565 --> 00:32:00,167
- We'll just be on our way.
- Hold on.

739
00:32:00,201 --> 00:32:02,970
Jenna, it's me, Big Rod 91.

740
00:32:03,003 --> 00:32:05,039
I've commented on a bunch of your videos.

741
00:32:05,071 --> 00:32:07,175
Oh, yeah! I know exactly who you are!

742
00:32:07,207 --> 00:32:10,210
You kidding me? No idea.

743
00:32:10,244 --> 00:32:13,246
Okay Jenna, actually, this is
gonna sound crazy, but Steve...

744
00:32:13,280 --> 00:32:15,316
Steve sent you here to
fix some crappy video

745
00:32:15,349 --> 00:32:17,551
that you guys messed up on. That right?

746
00:32:17,584 --> 00:32:19,119
- Yeah.
- Yeah.

747
00:32:19,153 --> 00:32:20,321
And then he gave you
these phones, but Diri's

748
00:32:20,353 --> 00:32:21,488
being an unhelpful little bitch.

749
00:32:21,522 --> 00:32:22,924
- Oh, my God, yes!
- Yeah, I know.

750
00:32:22,956 --> 00:32:24,591
Screw you, Jenna.

751
00:32:24,625 --> 00:32:26,527
Whatever. I know a shortcut.

752
00:32:26,560 --> 00:32:28,428
Just use the web address for the video.

753
00:32:28,462 --> 00:32:29,897
You don't even need
Diri if you just type in

754
00:32:29,929 --> 00:32:30,898
the web address to the video

755
00:32:30,930 --> 00:32:32,332
that you want to go to.

756
00:32:32,366 --> 00:32:33,935
Wait, hold on. We don't know the address.

757
00:32:33,967 --> 00:32:36,204
That's gonna take forever to guess.

758
00:32:36,236 --> 00:32:38,939
Yeah, Jenna. That's a dumb idea.

759
00:32:38,973 --> 00:32:40,541
- Bitch.
- Yeah.

760
00:32:40,573 --> 00:32:42,409
Well, then I don't know what to tell you.

761
00:32:42,443 --> 00:32:45,246
But whatever you're gonna
do, you got to do it quick.

762
00:32:45,279 --> 00:32:47,582
- Why?
- Steve didn't tell you?

763
00:32:47,615 --> 00:32:49,517
See, these phones and
Diri are your only link

764
00:32:49,550 --> 00:32:51,319
to the outside world.

765
00:32:51,351 --> 00:32:53,955
And if the battery life dies,
you get stuck in YouTube.

766
00:32:53,987 --> 00:32:56,623
- Forever. Just like me.
- Wait, what?

767
00:32:56,657 --> 00:32:58,492
Hey, Jenna, seen my hair scrunchie?

768
00:32:58,524 --> 00:33:00,194
No, I haven't seen your scrunchie, bitch.

769
00:33:00,226 --> 00:33:01,595
Are you kidding me? She
looks ridiculous in those.

770
00:33:01,628 --> 00:33:03,430
I don't even know why she wears them.

771
00:33:03,464 --> 00:33:05,332
She's not even hot. She's like a six.

772
00:33:05,366 --> 00:33:06,901
Look at her. Nasty.

773
00:33:06,934 --> 00:33:08,636
Don't tell me what to wear, bitch.

774
00:33:08,668 --> 00:33:11,538
What did you just say to me?
Come and say it to my face!

775
00:33:11,571 --> 00:33:13,273
- You know what, bitch...
- Okay, I know you really

776
00:33:13,307 --> 00:33:15,076
want to fix that video,
but we can't get stuck

777
00:33:15,109 --> 00:33:17,278
in here, dude. We just need to go back.

778
00:33:17,311 --> 00:33:19,246
We're gonna be fine. We have
plenty of battery power left.

779
00:33:19,280 --> 00:33:20,915
This is my only chance.

780
00:33:20,947 --> 00:33:23,184
So we're just gonna guess random addresses?

781
00:33:23,216 --> 00:33:24,619
Yeah, okay?

782
00:33:24,651 --> 00:33:26,987
The address for the grad
night video started with

783
00:33:27,021 --> 00:33:30,491
YouTube.com/something...

784
00:33:30,523 --> 00:33:33,093
I got it. Let's split up.

785
00:33:33,127 --> 00:33:34,628
It always works in the movies.

786
00:33:34,661 --> 00:33:36,930
This isn't a movie, okay? It's real life.

787
00:33:36,964 --> 00:33:38,633
We can't just split up.

788
00:33:38,666 --> 00:33:40,201
Well just, can you just trust me on this?

789
00:33:40,234 --> 00:33:41,936
You know, okay, fine.

790
00:33:41,968 --> 00:33:46,539
We'll meet back in 15
minutes. How about that?

791
00:33:46,572 --> 00:33:48,942
- I hope this works.
- Of course it'll work.

792
00:33:48,975 --> 00:33:50,043
- Ready?
- Yup.

793
00:33:50,077 --> 00:33:51,913
- Put your address in.
- Hello?

794
00:33:51,946 --> 00:33:53,347
You're acting like I'm not even here.

795
00:33:53,379 --> 00:33:55,649
Shut up, Diri.

796
00:33:55,683 --> 00:33:57,518
- All right. Ready? Got it in?
- Yup.

797
00:33:57,551 --> 00:33:58,953
- All right.
- And...

798
00:33:58,985 --> 00:34:02,422
Three, two, one, go!

799
00:34:07,293 --> 00:34:08,561
What the hell is this?

800
00:34:08,594 --> 00:34:11,998
Oh, God, no! Oh, okay.

801
00:34:12,031 --> 00:34:14,501
Welcome to the party, bro!
Hey, you forgot your costume!

802
00:34:14,534 --> 00:34:16,069
- Don't even sweat it.
- What?

803
00:34:16,103 --> 00:34:17,705
You're a kitty. Bunny twerk, bunny twerk,

804
00:34:17,737 --> 00:34:20,174
- What? Oh! Oh, God!
- Bunny twerk, bunny twerk!

805
00:34:20,206 --> 00:34:23,310
- No! Oh! Oh!
- Bunny twerk, bunny twerk!

806
00:34:23,344 --> 00:34:26,047
Bunny twerk.

807
00:34:32,752 --> 00:34:36,156
Oh, my God, I remembered the right address.

808
00:34:48,469 --> 00:34:49,503
Hello, there.

809
00:34:49,536 --> 00:34:52,072
Aah!

810
00:34:52,105 --> 00:34:53,306
Who the hell are you?

811
00:34:53,339 --> 00:34:55,342
It's me, Big Rod 91. Your boyfriend.

812
00:34:55,375 --> 00:34:57,544
You flag all my comments.

813
00:34:57,578 --> 00:35:00,181
Oh, my goodness.

814
00:35:00,214 --> 00:35:04,652
Big Rod 91?

815
00:35:04,685 --> 00:35:07,087
I'm sorry about flagging all your comments.

816
00:35:07,121 --> 00:35:09,256
I was playing hard to get.

817
00:35:09,288 --> 00:35:11,157
I knew it.

818
00:35:11,190 --> 00:35:12,359
What are you doing here?

819
00:35:12,393 --> 00:35:14,728
Oh, it's a long story.

820
00:35:14,761 --> 00:35:18,031
Well, pull up a table. We've got time.

821
00:35:18,065 --> 00:35:20,101
Okay.

822
00:35:20,134 --> 00:35:22,168
If you want the best
taste you've ever seen,

823
00:35:22,201 --> 00:35:25,171
go out and get yourself
some Stone Cold Creamy Cream.

824
00:35:25,205 --> 00:35:27,641
And that's the bottom line.

825
00:35:30,043 --> 00:35:31,679
Stone Cold Steve Austin?

826
00:35:31,712 --> 00:35:33,547
- Oh, my God, it's me, Anthony.
- Who?

827
00:35:33,580 --> 00:35:36,049
You know, we talk in
the mirror all the time.

828
00:35:36,083 --> 00:35:37,585
Wait, you sell ice cream now?

829
00:35:37,618 --> 00:35:40,654
Yeah, it's my new gimmick.
Stone Cold Creamy Cream.

830
00:35:40,686 --> 00:35:43,056
It's the best.

831
00:35:43,089 --> 00:35:44,391
Don't you think people
will get that confused

832
00:35:44,424 --> 00:35:47,093
with Cold Stone Creamery?

833
00:35:47,127 --> 00:35:49,196
Never heard of it.

834
00:35:49,228 --> 00:35:52,165
Anyway, so I have a problem
I need your help with.

835
00:35:52,199 --> 00:35:54,168
I embarrassed myself in
front of this girl I love

836
00:35:54,201 --> 00:35:57,538
by doing a flip and then
landing directly on my face,

837
00:35:57,571 --> 00:36:01,375
and then getting a
microphone shoved up my...

838
00:36:01,407 --> 00:36:03,511
Mm. That's not good.

839
00:36:03,543 --> 00:36:07,147
Yeah. So now I need her
to think I'm cool again.

840
00:36:07,181 --> 00:36:09,316
What would you do if you were me?

841
00:36:09,348 --> 00:36:10,650
Well, I'll tell you exactly what I'd do.

842
00:36:10,683 --> 00:36:14,187
I'd hit her with the Stone Cold Stunner.

843
00:36:14,221 --> 00:36:15,456
Oh, my God, of course you would.

844
00:36:15,489 --> 00:36:17,590
- That's your move, man.
- Exactly.

845
00:36:17,623 --> 00:36:19,359
Yeah, so you're basically saying

846
00:36:19,393 --> 00:36:20,628
I should come up with my own move.

847
00:36:20,661 --> 00:36:23,297
Not try to impress her, but just be myself.

848
00:36:23,330 --> 00:36:25,132
No. I'm telling you, you need to hit her

849
00:36:25,165 --> 00:36:26,500
with the Stone Cold Stunner.

850
00:36:26,532 --> 00:36:28,802
Maybe even from a top rope.

851
00:36:28,835 --> 00:36:31,638
Right. So I need to
climb to the top rope too,

852
00:36:31,672 --> 00:36:33,307
and not be afraid of falling.

853
00:36:33,339 --> 00:36:34,607
And I'll never know what I'm capable of

854
00:36:34,641 --> 00:36:36,744
if I don't just get out there and try.

855
00:36:36,777 --> 00:36:38,512
No, that's not what I'm saying!

856
00:36:38,545 --> 00:36:40,548
I'm telling you to grab
her by that stack of dimes

857
00:36:40,581 --> 00:36:43,484
she calls a neck, drop her
ass with a Stone Cold Stunner.

858
00:36:43,516 --> 00:36:44,752
Yes! Oh, my God.

859
00:36:44,784 --> 00:36:46,453
Stone Cold Steve Austin, you're the best.

860
00:36:46,487 --> 00:36:47,788
I can always count on you.

861
00:36:47,821 --> 00:36:50,491
Oh, why didn't I think of that?

862
00:36:50,523 --> 00:36:52,326
Kid's on 'shrooms.

863
00:36:52,359 --> 00:36:54,127
Stop. I can't stand

864
00:36:54,161 --> 00:36:56,197
the silent treatment anymore.

865
00:36:56,230 --> 00:36:59,266
Take me back, Anthony, and
I'll do better, I promise.

866
00:36:59,299 --> 00:37:02,136
One final chance, that's
all I'm asking for.

867
00:37:02,168 --> 00:37:04,804
Okay, fine. One final chance.

868
00:37:04,837 --> 00:37:09,542
Okay? Take me to Rockville
High Graduation Night 2009.

869
00:37:09,576 --> 00:37:11,478
Sure, I can help you with that.

870
00:37:11,511 --> 00:37:13,447
See? It was that easy.

871
00:37:15,815 --> 00:37:19,419
Damn it, Diri, this is not what
I asked for and you know it.

872
00:37:19,453 --> 00:37:20,888
But this is it.

873
00:37:20,920 --> 00:37:23,890
It's Rockville High Graduation Night, 2009.

874
00:37:23,924 --> 00:37:25,860
- I swear.
- Anna?

875
00:37:25,893 --> 00:37:28,462
Who is Anna?

876
00:37:28,494 --> 00:37:30,498
Hi, everybody, or, you
know, the three people

877
00:37:30,531 --> 00:37:32,233
that actually watch my stupid vlogs.

878
00:37:32,266 --> 00:37:34,735
Mom, Dad, Uncle Keith's ghost,

879
00:37:34,768 --> 00:37:37,271
tonight is graduation night.

880
00:37:37,304 --> 00:37:39,139
I can't believe it's really her.

881
00:37:39,172 --> 00:37:41,207
She's getting ready for
the graduation party.

882
00:37:41,241 --> 00:37:43,409
Anthony, we need to talk.

883
00:37:43,442 --> 00:37:44,578
Shh. No, we don't.

884
00:37:47,346 --> 00:37:49,850
So, I did the Moonwalk
for Ring Finger Largeasia

885
00:37:49,882 --> 00:37:50,917
last weekend.

886
00:37:50,951 --> 00:37:53,353
37 miles.

887
00:37:53,386 --> 00:37:55,288
The doctor says I'm never
gonna walk right again.

888
00:37:55,322 --> 00:37:58,459
But some things are worth the sacrifice.

889
00:37:58,491 --> 00:38:00,293
So there's this guy at school,

890
00:38:00,326 --> 00:38:02,228
um, he was supposed to meet me for it,

891
00:38:02,261 --> 00:38:04,230
but he didn't show up.

892
00:38:04,264 --> 00:38:07,801
And it's weird because I
really thought we had something.

893
00:38:07,833 --> 00:38:10,737
I don't know. I like the guy but...

894
00:38:10,770 --> 00:38:12,739
I guess moonwalking 37 miles

895
00:38:12,772 --> 00:38:14,440
would be a pretty weird first date.

896
00:38:14,473 --> 00:38:15,942
That was supposed to be a date?

897
00:38:15,976 --> 00:38:17,945
Maybe he'll be at the party tonight,

898
00:38:17,978 --> 00:38:20,781
and we'll see if there's something there.

899
00:38:20,813 --> 00:38:24,217
Otherwise, I am totally fine

900
00:38:24,250 --> 00:38:25,618
with talking to you three fine people

901
00:38:25,652 --> 00:38:29,190
out in internet land,
until you get bored of me.

902
00:38:29,223 --> 00:38:31,425
And also, I've prepared a statement

903
00:38:31,458 --> 00:38:35,763
for those victims of Ring Finger Largeasia.

904
00:38:35,795 --> 00:38:38,398
Don't ignore me, Anthony.

905
00:38:38,431 --> 00:38:40,868
Stop it! This is Anna Reed!

906
00:38:40,900 --> 00:38:42,669
The girl I'm in love with.

907
00:38:42,703 --> 00:38:45,639
The whole reason I came into
YouTube in the first place.

908
00:38:45,672 --> 00:38:48,342
I think I just found out
she's in love with me, too.

909
00:38:48,375 --> 00:38:49,976
Wow, you're easy.

910
00:38:50,009 --> 00:38:51,811
What is that supposed to mean?

911
00:38:51,844 --> 00:38:53,680
What does she have that I don't have?

912
00:38:53,714 --> 00:38:58,585
Uh, a body, and a face, for starters.

913
00:38:58,618 --> 00:39:00,887
Sincerely, Anna Reed.

914
00:39:02,355 --> 00:39:03,823
Let's get out of here.

915
00:39:03,857 --> 00:39:05,659
Who's there?

916
00:39:05,692 --> 00:39:11,732
Uh, Uncle Keith's ghost.

917
00:39:14,768 --> 00:39:17,972
- Uncle Keith?
- We have to go now!

918
00:39:18,005 --> 00:39:20,307
You are never going to find your video.

919
00:39:20,339 --> 00:39:23,643
It is no wonder that Ian does
not value your friendship.

920
00:39:23,677 --> 00:39:24,778
Of course he does.

921
00:39:24,810 --> 00:39:25,712
Oh, really?

922
00:39:32,618 --> 00:39:34,988
Uncle Keith was a furry?

923
00:39:37,924 --> 00:39:40,494
Oh, man, this feels great.

924
00:39:40,527 --> 00:39:43,831
Is it weird to say that I
want this guy's hand on my butt

925
00:39:43,864 --> 00:39:45,632
all the time?

926
00:39:45,665 --> 00:39:47,601
A little bit.

927
00:39:51,304 --> 00:39:53,840
Ian? What are you doing?

928
00:39:53,873 --> 00:39:58,478
Oh, hey, man, check it
out! It's Butt Massage Girl.

929
00:39:58,511 --> 00:39:59,580
You were supposed to be out looking

930
00:39:59,612 --> 00:40:00,647
for the graduation night video!

931
00:40:00,681 --> 00:40:02,516
What happened?

932
00:40:02,549 --> 00:40:05,652
Maybe you didn't hear me,
but I found Butt Massage Girl.

933
00:40:05,685 --> 00:40:08,755
Dude, she's amazing. We're kind of in love.

934
00:40:08,788 --> 00:40:12,592
Hey, I know you. You're
Backflip Microphone Guy.

935
00:40:12,625 --> 00:40:14,961
We've been watching your video all day.

936
00:40:14,994 --> 00:40:16,496
You showed her that?

937
00:40:16,529 --> 00:40:19,365
Well, I mean, it's a good video.

938
00:40:19,398 --> 00:40:20,500
Why wouldn't I?

939
00:40:20,534 --> 00:40:21,869
I mean, there you go.

940
00:40:21,902 --> 00:40:24,371
- It's so cute, dude.
- It's so cute.

941
00:40:24,404 --> 00:40:26,840
Oh, my God, dude, it's up to 748 views now.

942
00:40:26,873 --> 00:40:28,375
That's like the entire attendance

943
00:40:28,407 --> 00:40:31,078
of a football stadium
in a slightly bigger town

944
00:40:31,110 --> 00:40:32,879
with a high school team
whose record is like,

945
00:40:32,913 --> 00:40:34,447
- eight and two, and you know...
- This is why I like you.

946
00:40:34,480 --> 00:40:35,515
they started the season off as underdogs,

947
00:40:35,549 --> 00:40:36,784
so they, somehow, keep winning.

948
00:40:36,817 --> 00:40:38,052
They're selling tickets like crazy and...

949
00:40:38,085 --> 00:40:40,020
We get it, dude.

950
00:40:40,052 --> 00:40:43,757
Ian, we have the video
address now. It's right here.

951
00:40:43,790 --> 00:40:46,326
We have to go now before
Anna sees the video.

952
00:40:46,360 --> 00:40:48,028
But... But, but, but, but, but,

953
00:40:48,060 --> 00:40:50,096
- Butt Massage Girl.
- This is serious, dude.

954
00:40:50,130 --> 00:40:53,734
It turns out, Anna is in love with me, too.

955
00:40:53,766 --> 00:40:55,069
Oh.

956
00:40:55,101 --> 00:40:59,739
But, but... Butt Massage Girl.

957
00:40:59,772 --> 00:41:01,607
We have to fix that video
and get to the reunion

958
00:41:01,641 --> 00:41:03,377
more now than ever. Come on!

959
00:41:03,409 --> 00:41:05,045
But I wanna stay here with her.

960
00:41:05,078 --> 00:41:08,549
Dude, it's meant to be, see?

961
00:41:08,581 --> 00:41:10,917
Ian, come on, man.

962
00:41:10,951 --> 00:41:14,521
This isn't even real. It's just a video.

963
00:41:14,554 --> 00:41:16,490
Our love is real.

964
00:41:16,522 --> 00:41:18,825
I mean, we got our butts massaged together.

965
00:41:18,859 --> 00:41:20,893
Look.

966
00:41:22,661 --> 00:41:23,930
Butt Massage Girl?

967
00:41:25,732 --> 00:41:26,867
Who the hell are you?

968
00:41:26,900 --> 00:41:29,470
- It's me.
- You who?

969
00:41:29,502 --> 00:41:32,572
Big Rod 91.

970
00:41:32,605 --> 00:41:36,042
Oh, my goodness, it's really you?

971
00:41:36,076 --> 00:41:37,677
Yeah.

972
00:41:37,710 --> 00:41:39,545
Ian, I know this is hard,

973
00:41:39,578 --> 00:41:42,482
but we only have 24% of
our battery life left.

974
00:41:42,516 --> 00:41:46,487
Okay? We need to go now.

975
00:41:46,520 --> 00:41:47,955
All right. Fine.

976
00:41:47,987 --> 00:41:49,623
But, Big Rod 91...

977
00:41:49,656 --> 00:41:51,391
Good-bye, Butt Massage Girl.

978
00:41:51,424 --> 00:41:52,392
I have a name, you know.

979
00:41:52,426 --> 00:41:53,994
Shh! Don't say it.

980
00:41:54,027 --> 00:41:54,994
- It'll ruin the romance.
- It's...

981
00:41:55,027 --> 00:41:56,763
Shh! Go, go! La, la, la, la.

982
00:41:56,797 --> 00:41:58,599
Go now, go now, go now!

983
00:42:00,600 --> 00:42:02,536
Massage my butt!

984
00:42:17,918 --> 00:42:19,720
This is it!

985
00:42:19,752 --> 00:42:21,621
Yeah, I mean, it's great and all,

986
00:42:21,654 --> 00:42:22,889
but it has been a couple minutes,

987
00:42:22,922 --> 00:42:25,191
and I could really use
another butt massage.

988
00:42:25,225 --> 00:42:26,560
Shh! Keep it down.

989
00:42:26,592 --> 00:42:29,128
Can't draw attention to ourselves.

990
00:42:29,161 --> 00:42:30,696
Whoa... whoa...

991
00:42:30,730 --> 00:42:33,000
Oh!

992
00:42:33,032 --> 00:42:34,868
Whoa, whoa, whoa...

993
00:42:34,900 --> 00:42:36,469
Dude, seriously?

994
00:42:36,502 --> 00:42:38,205
Aah!

995
00:42:38,237 --> 00:42:41,107
What kind of a dumbass just
leaves that stuff laying around?

996
00:42:43,976 --> 00:42:47,647
Not like a bad dumbass.
Like a... good dumbass.

997
00:42:47,681 --> 00:42:50,650
Way to not draw attention!

998
00:43:02,728 --> 00:43:04,230
There she is.

999
00:43:06,266 --> 00:43:07,901
Look at her.

1000
00:43:07,933 --> 00:43:09,136
And there we are.

1001
00:43:13,072 --> 00:43:14,907
Man, we were such losers.

1002
00:43:14,940 --> 00:43:17,143
Look at my stupid haircut.
It only cost 10 bucks.

1003
00:43:19,112 --> 00:43:20,814
Ah! Whoo!

1004
00:43:20,846 --> 00:43:23,049
Okaaaaaay, graduates!

1005
00:43:23,083 --> 00:43:24,651
Helloooo!

1006
00:43:24,683 --> 00:43:28,054
Are we all having a good time tonight?

1007
00:43:31,725 --> 00:43:33,793
I forgot how much this place sucked.

1008
00:43:33,826 --> 00:43:37,196
Is every-body havin' a good time tonight?

1009
00:43:37,230 --> 00:43:40,100
Ooooooh!

1010
00:43:40,132 --> 00:43:41,667
- Lame!
- Okay!

1011
00:43:41,701 --> 00:43:43,203
- We hate you!
- All right, coming up

1012
00:43:43,235 --> 00:43:44,705
on stage right now

1013
00:43:44,737 --> 00:43:46,672
to sing the theme song from

1014
00:43:46,706 --> 00:43:49,977
<i>Magic Pocket Slave Monsters.</i>

1015
00:43:50,009 --> 00:43:52,778
Really? Uh, everybody
put your hands together

1016
00:43:52,811 --> 00:43:54,248
for Anthony Padi...

1017
00:43:54,281 --> 00:43:55,916
Pa... dilla...

1018
00:43:55,949 --> 00:43:57,985
- B...
- F...

1019
00:43:58,018 --> 00:43:59,253
F!

1020
00:43:59,286 --> 00:44:01,588
- We need to stop him!
- Go, go, go.

1021
00:44:01,621 --> 00:44:04,291
Me. The... the guy who's also me.

1022
00:44:04,324 --> 00:44:06,894
- Thanks, Mr. Ellis.
- Mm-hmm.

1023
00:44:06,927 --> 00:44:08,095
You rock, Anthony!

1024
00:44:08,127 --> 00:44:09,595
Is <i>Magic Pocket Slave Monsters</i>

1025
00:44:09,628 --> 00:44:11,230
the best song ever?

1026
00:44:11,264 --> 00:44:14,034
Yes! Yes, yes.

1027
00:44:14,067 --> 00:44:15,702
Whoo! All right.

1028
00:44:15,735 --> 00:44:17,971
We need a plan, and we need a plan quick.

1029
00:44:18,003 --> 00:44:19,172
Let's do this!

1030
00:44:19,205 --> 00:44:20,706
Well, I mean,

1031
00:44:20,739 --> 00:44:22,141
you could go up there and knock him out.

1032
00:44:22,174 --> 00:44:23,709
I'm too tough to knock out.

1033
00:44:23,743 --> 00:44:25,578
Right.

1034
00:44:25,612 --> 00:44:27,915
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whoo, whoo, whoo.

1035
00:44:27,947 --> 00:44:29,181
Is that you?

1036
00:44:29,214 --> 00:44:30,983
- Huh?
- That guy, right there!

1037
00:44:31,016 --> 00:44:33,719
- Is that you?
- Um...

1038
00:44:33,752 --> 00:44:35,655
Is it me?

1039
00:44:35,688 --> 00:44:37,123
It's really hard to tell.

1040
00:44:37,156 --> 00:44:39,892
You are the only one
recording this here tonight.

1041
00:44:39,926 --> 00:44:41,128
Even if it was me,

1042
00:44:41,161 --> 00:44:42,628
I definitely wasn't recording it.

1043
00:44:42,661 --> 00:44:44,964
Dude, I was probably just taking a selfie.

1044
00:44:44,998 --> 00:44:47,701
"Selfie" wasn't even a term in 2009.

1045
00:44:47,734 --> 00:44:49,670
♪ Anna Reed's in the house, y'all ♪

1046
00:44:49,703 --> 00:44:51,705
♪ Anna Reed's in the house, what? ♪

1047
00:44:51,737 --> 00:44:54,073
Anna Reed, come on up.

1048
00:44:57,210 --> 00:45:00,213
Yeah. All right.

1049
00:45:00,246 --> 00:45:02,316
I really want you to see this.

1050
00:45:02,348 --> 00:45:03,649
Look me dead in the eye

1051
00:45:03,683 --> 00:45:04,985
and tell me you are not the one

1052
00:45:05,018 --> 00:45:06,686
that recorded this and uploaded it.

1053
00:45:08,154 --> 00:45:11,157
Obviously, it wasn't me, okay?

1054
00:45:11,190 --> 00:45:13,025
Hey, guys, I'm totally recording this,

1055
00:45:13,058 --> 00:45:15,795
and then I'm gonna put it
up on YouTube in five years,

1056
00:45:15,828 --> 00:45:18,264
probably right before our
five-year high school reunion.

1057
00:45:18,297 --> 00:45:19,966
Okay, it was me.

1058
00:45:20,000 --> 00:45:21,969
But I didn't do it to embarrass you.

1059
00:45:22,002 --> 00:45:24,036
I did it 'cause I thought
your flip was awesome.

1060
00:45:24,069 --> 00:45:25,738
Hit it, Mr. Ellis.

1061
00:45:28,141 --> 00:45:31,177
♪ I wanna be the master ♪

1062
00:45:31,210 --> 00:45:34,046
♪ I wanna flip the switch ♪

1063
00:45:36,715 --> 00:45:39,319
- Oh!
- Hoo hoo hoo...

1064
00:45:39,351 --> 00:45:40,753
That was awesome!

1065
00:45:42,355 --> 00:45:44,958
Look! You almost made it
all the way around that time.

1066
00:45:44,991 --> 00:45:46,793
And the crowd was super into it... see?

1067
00:45:46,826 --> 00:45:48,128
You made them all so happy.

1068
00:45:48,161 --> 00:45:49,696
Okay, I'm sorry,

1069
00:45:49,728 --> 00:45:51,964
but I didn't see how this could backfire.

1070
00:45:51,998 --> 00:45:53,634
Why would you do that to me?

1071
00:45:53,667 --> 00:45:55,067
I thought you needed a little reminder

1072
00:45:55,101 --> 00:45:56,936
on how funny you used to be.

1073
00:45:56,969 --> 00:45:57,971
I'm still fun.

1074
00:45:58,003 --> 00:45:59,873
Not like you used to be.

1075
00:45:59,906 --> 00:46:02,743
You used to be the best person
in the world to hang out with.

1076
00:46:02,775 --> 00:46:04,944
Then you got a job and an expensive haircut

1077
00:46:04,978 --> 00:46:06,346
and you moved out of your parents' house,

1078
00:46:06,378 --> 00:46:08,081
and now it's like you're embarrassed

1079
00:46:08,114 --> 00:46:09,850
to do all the stuff we used to do together.

1080
00:46:09,882 --> 00:46:11,250
You're just jealous

1081
00:46:11,284 --> 00:46:12,819
you don't have the awesome
new life that I have.

1082
00:46:12,851 --> 00:46:14,154
You didn't even want
to come here to YouTube

1083
00:46:14,186 --> 00:46:15,721
and help me in the first place,

1084
00:46:15,755 --> 00:46:16,890
and you're the one that uploaded this!

1085
00:46:16,922 --> 00:46:18,424
And ever since we got in here,

1086
00:46:18,458 --> 00:46:20,394
all you wanted to do is try to pick up

1087
00:46:20,427 --> 00:46:22,262
on your stupid little Butt Massage Girl.

1088
00:46:22,295 --> 00:46:24,798
Don't bring Butt Massage Girl into this.

1089
00:46:24,831 --> 00:46:27,801
See that guy over there? That's my friend.

1090
00:46:31,471 --> 00:46:32,438
- Oh!
- Oh!

1091
00:46:32,471 --> 00:46:34,273
My butt!

1092
00:46:36,976 --> 00:46:38,412
Ha ha ha!

1093
00:46:38,444 --> 00:46:41,280
Where did the microphone go, guys?

1094
00:46:41,313 --> 00:46:43,716
Oh, it's really deep in there.

1095
00:46:43,750 --> 00:46:44,951
That's my friend!

1096
00:46:44,984 --> 00:46:47,688
This video's gonna go viral.

1097
00:46:47,721 --> 00:46:49,056
Oh!

1098
00:46:51,123 --> 00:46:52,125
Can we get a doctor?

1099
00:46:52,157 --> 00:46:53,426
That's my friend.

1100
00:46:53,460 --> 00:46:54,860
That's the guy I cared about

1101
00:46:54,893 --> 00:46:56,395
before he stopped liking cool stuff.

1102
00:46:56,429 --> 00:46:58,098
People change, Ian.

1103
00:46:58,130 --> 00:46:59,266
Get over it.

1104
00:46:59,299 --> 00:47:00,867
Take my haircut, for instance.

1105
00:47:00,900 --> 00:47:03,136
Okay... your haircut looks exactly the same

1106
00:47:03,168 --> 00:47:04,837
as it did five years ago!

1107
00:47:04,871 --> 00:47:06,173
Just 'cause you pay more for it

1108
00:47:06,206 --> 00:47:07,741
doesn't make it a better haircut.

1109
00:47:07,773 --> 00:47:08,741
Fight. Fight.

1110
00:47:08,775 --> 00:47:10,844
Shut up, Diri!

1111
00:47:10,877 --> 00:47:12,212
Stop! You're just gonna make this worse!

1112
00:47:12,244 --> 00:47:14,714
- No... give it back, dude!
- Stop! What...

1113
00:47:17,984 --> 00:47:19,786
Oh... baby!

1114
00:47:21,520 --> 00:47:22,822
- Oh!
- Uhh!

1115
00:47:22,855 --> 00:47:24,090
- Stop!
- No!

1116
00:47:24,123 --> 00:47:26,025
Stop it!

1117
00:47:26,058 --> 00:47:29,830
- You're a terrible friend!
- No, you are!

1118
00:47:29,862 --> 00:47:31,797
Huh?

1119
00:47:31,831 --> 00:47:33,800
No!

1120
00:47:33,833 --> 00:47:35,302
God, what...

1121
00:47:36,802 --> 00:47:38,071
- No...
- No!

1122
00:47:38,103 --> 00:47:39,906
Seriously, dude, no!

1123
00:47:39,938 --> 00:47:41,774
No... ah!

1124
00:47:41,808 --> 00:47:43,944
My mouth is full of rainbows!

1125
00:47:43,976 --> 00:47:45,745
Wait... is that guy high?

1126
00:47:45,779 --> 00:47:48,081
Tooth fairy's gonna make me rich!

1127
00:47:48,114 --> 00:47:50,083
Oh, God, he just had his
wisdom teeth taken out!

1128
00:47:50,116 --> 00:47:51,284
Oh, God...

1129
00:47:53,319 --> 00:47:55,288
Let go of the wheel!
You're gonna get us killed!

1130
00:47:55,321 --> 00:47:57,089
Let go... come on!

1131
00:47:57,123 --> 00:47:59,092
I have 11 fingers!

1132
00:47:59,125 --> 00:48:02,228
- Aah!
- Aah!

1133
00:48:03,496 --> 00:48:05,165
- Get off me!
- Let go!

1134
00:48:10,069 --> 00:48:12,072
Aw...

1135
00:48:12,105 --> 00:48:14,840
Look at the cute little kitty!

1136
00:48:14,873 --> 00:48:16,475
Hey, little guy!

1137
00:48:22,281 --> 00:48:24,283
Wait!
B-b-bucket...

1138
00:48:24,317 --> 00:48:26,119
Whoa... whoa...

1139
00:48:29,054 --> 00:48:31,223
Whoa, whoa, whoa...

1140
00:48:31,257 --> 00:48:32,826
Dude, seriously?

1141
00:48:32,859 --> 00:48:34,261
Damn it!

1142
00:48:34,293 --> 00:48:35,328
Sorry. Please don't hurt us.

1143
00:48:35,360 --> 00:48:36,962
Aah!

1144
00:48:39,498 --> 00:48:41,100
Okay, look, you're right.

1145
00:48:41,134 --> 00:48:42,402
I have been a jerk lately.

1146
00:48:42,435 --> 00:48:44,371
I know I should have come clean right away

1147
00:48:44,404 --> 00:48:45,505
about the video, but...

1148
00:48:45,538 --> 00:48:47,107
once I saw your reaction to it,

1149
00:48:47,139 --> 00:48:48,475
I knew you'd be pissed.

1150
00:48:48,507 --> 00:48:51,011
I screwed up. I'm sorry.

1151
00:48:51,043 --> 00:48:53,346
Why don't you guys make out already?

1152
00:48:53,378 --> 00:48:55,047
Anthony, let's get out of here.

1153
00:48:55,081 --> 00:48:57,918
- Screw this guy.
- Diri, can you just shut up?

1154
00:48:57,951 --> 00:49:00,219
Okaaaaay, graduates!

1155
00:49:00,252 --> 00:49:02,254
Helloooo!

1156
00:49:02,288 --> 00:49:04,891
Are we all having a good time tonight?

1157
00:49:04,924 --> 00:49:07,527
Lame! We hate you.

1158
00:49:07,560 --> 00:49:08,527
Okay.

1159
00:49:08,560 --> 00:49:10,263
You know what?

1160
00:49:10,295 --> 00:49:12,131
I'm gonna make this up to you.

1161
00:49:12,165 --> 00:49:14,601
I got you into this mess, and
I'm gonna get you out of it.

1162
00:49:14,634 --> 00:49:16,269
Wait... where are you going?

1163
00:49:16,302 --> 00:49:17,904
Let him go.

1164
00:49:17,936 --> 00:49:21,007
It's just you and me now, Dreamy Eyes.

1165
00:49:21,040 --> 00:49:22,509
What did you just call me?

1166
00:49:22,542 --> 00:49:25,946
You heard me, you sexy little bitch.

1167
00:49:25,978 --> 00:49:27,980
Put your hands together for Anthony.

1168
00:49:28,014 --> 00:49:29,449
Anthony Padillo!

1169
00:49:29,482 --> 00:49:31,150
Give him a hand.

1170
00:49:32,317 --> 00:49:34,286
Thanks, Mr. Ellis.

1171
00:49:34,319 --> 00:49:35,455
You rock, Anthony.

1172
00:49:35,487 --> 00:49:37,022
Is <i>Magic Pocket Slave Monster</i>

1173
00:49:37,056 --> 00:49:38,425
the best song ever?

1174
00:49:41,194 --> 00:49:43,163
Hey, you got up here really fast.

1175
00:49:43,196 --> 00:49:44,630
I'm sorry, man.

1176
00:49:52,205 --> 00:49:53,340
Ouch! Ow! Ow!

1177
00:49:53,373 --> 00:49:54,474
What are you trying to do?

1178
00:49:54,507 --> 00:49:56,142
I'm trying to knock you out

1179
00:49:56,174 --> 00:49:57,977
so you don't embarrass yourself.

1180
00:49:58,011 --> 00:49:59,346
Huh?

1181
00:49:59,378 --> 00:50:01,214
Told you I don't go down that easy.

1182
00:50:06,920 --> 00:50:08,288
- Here you go.
- Thanks!

1183
00:50:09,522 --> 00:50:12,125
Are you seeing what I'm seeing?

1184
00:50:12,157 --> 00:50:14,326
Either I'm seeing what you're seeing,

1185
00:50:14,360 --> 00:50:16,429
or somebody spiked the punch bowl with LSD.

1186
00:50:16,462 --> 00:50:18,398
It's not. I made the
punch, and I only spiked it

1187
00:50:18,431 --> 00:50:19,599
with vodka.

1188
00:50:19,632 --> 00:50:20,967
What should I do?

1189
00:50:21,000 --> 00:50:22,335
Should I go up there and help him?

1190
00:50:22,368 --> 00:50:24,904
That's what a good
friend would do, I guess.

1191
00:50:24,938 --> 00:50:26,973
You're right.

1192
00:50:27,005 --> 00:50:29,509
How are you so tough to knock out, man?

1193
00:50:29,542 --> 00:50:32,212
Is your head made of steel?

1194
00:50:34,013 --> 00:50:36,482
Give it to him!

1195
00:50:36,516 --> 00:50:38,485
Stop hitting my friend!

1196
00:50:38,518 --> 00:50:40,286
Aah!

1197
00:50:43,522 --> 00:50:45,591
Fight!

1198
00:50:47,393 --> 00:50:49,295
Fight, fight, fight!

1199
00:50:49,328 --> 00:50:51,096
Fight! Fight! Fight!

1200
00:50:53,565 --> 00:50:55,034
Fight!

1201
00:51:12,752 --> 00:51:16,589
Come on!

1202
00:51:16,621 --> 00:51:18,223
Ian, look!

1203
00:51:18,257 --> 00:51:19,392
We only have 5% power left.

1204
00:51:19,424 --> 00:51:20,526
We have to get out of here.

1205
00:51:20,560 --> 00:51:22,161
What about fixing the video?

1206
00:51:22,194 --> 00:51:24,263
Forget it, it's too late.

1207
00:51:24,297 --> 00:51:26,499
Diri, get us to the portal now.

1208
00:51:26,531 --> 00:51:29,168
You said, "Is my Mom infertile?"

1209
00:51:29,201 --> 00:51:30,970
Let me check on that for you.

1210
00:51:31,003 --> 00:51:33,540
That's not what I said! You
know that's not what I said.

1211
00:51:33,572 --> 00:51:36,076
Damn it, Diri, this is not
the time for games, okay?

1212
00:51:36,109 --> 00:51:38,411
If we don't get back to that portal now,

1213
00:51:38,444 --> 00:51:40,714
we're gonna be stuck
here in YouTube forever.

1214
00:51:40,746 --> 00:51:42,014
And you would just hate that,

1215
00:51:42,047 --> 00:51:43,482
wouldn't you?

1216
00:51:43,516 --> 00:51:45,585
Stuck in here with me
for the rest of your life.

1217
00:51:45,618 --> 00:51:48,087
Shut up, Diri, this isn't about you.

1218
00:51:48,121 --> 00:51:49,522
You shut up, Ian.

1219
00:51:49,554 --> 00:51:52,091
You have poisoned the
mind of my dear Anthony.

1220
00:51:52,125 --> 00:51:53,592
What is it with you guys?

1221
00:51:53,625 --> 00:51:56,261
First, you idiots barge into
my office off the street,

1222
00:51:56,295 --> 00:51:58,164
asking for favors.

1223
00:51:58,197 --> 00:52:01,167
I am gracious enough to listen,
but then you won't even laugh

1224
00:52:01,199 --> 00:52:04,103
at my wiener jokes, even
though they are super funny.

1225
00:52:04,136 --> 00:52:07,139
Wait. Steve... is that you?

1226
00:52:07,172 --> 00:52:10,609
Uh... no, this is Diri.

1227
00:52:10,643 --> 00:52:14,347
I'm just some computer software
guiding you guys around.

1228
00:52:14,380 --> 00:52:17,282
I'm definitely not Steve
YouTube, whoever that is.

1229
00:52:17,315 --> 00:52:20,052
I mean, I've heard of
Steve YouTube, of course.

1230
00:52:20,085 --> 00:52:22,755
His wiener comedy is legendary.

1231
00:52:22,788 --> 00:52:26,025
Steve, dude, we know it's you, okay?

1232
00:52:26,058 --> 00:52:28,494
All right, fine. It's me, Steve.

1233
00:52:28,527 --> 00:52:30,397
YouTube... Steve YouTube.

1234
00:52:30,429 --> 00:52:32,065
Too bad you didn't figure
it out and hour ago,

1235
00:52:32,098 --> 00:52:33,465
because now I've got you trapped.

1236
00:52:33,498 --> 00:52:35,334
You're gonna live forever in YouTube,

1237
00:52:35,368 --> 00:52:38,071
making jackasses of yourselves in videos.

1238
00:52:38,103 --> 00:52:40,607
People love watching
jackasses doing stupid things.

1239
00:52:40,639 --> 00:52:42,741
It's our bread and butter here at YouTube.

1240
00:52:42,775 --> 00:52:45,078
And now, you're mine forever.

1241
00:52:45,110 --> 00:52:46,513
I knew that guy was a weirdo.

1242
00:52:46,545 --> 00:52:47,714
You're the weirdo!

1243
00:52:47,746 --> 00:52:49,248
We have to get back to that portal.

1244
00:52:49,281 --> 00:52:51,650
Anna is waiting for me on the other side.

1245
00:52:51,683 --> 00:52:52,819
Good luck trying to find the portal

1246
00:52:52,851 --> 00:52:54,520
without me to lead you there.

1247
00:52:54,554 --> 00:52:55,555
It's impossible.

1248
00:52:55,587 --> 00:52:57,389
Hoo hoo hah hah hah!

1249
00:52:57,422 --> 00:52:59,691
Hold on.

1250
00:52:59,725 --> 00:53:01,226
Wait, I have an idea.

1251
00:53:01,259 --> 00:53:02,428
What if we went into the viewing history

1252
00:53:02,462 --> 00:53:04,364
and followed the videos backwards?

1253
00:53:04,397 --> 00:53:06,299
That should lead us back
to the portal, right?

1254
00:53:06,331 --> 00:53:08,134
No, that won't work.

1255
00:53:08,167 --> 00:53:09,268
I mean, that definitely
won't work, I wouldn't even...

1256
00:53:09,302 --> 00:53:11,137
don't even try that.

1257
00:53:11,170 --> 00:53:12,505
We have to try the viewing
history, it's the only chance

1258
00:53:12,538 --> 00:53:13,505
we've got... come on!

1259
00:53:13,538 --> 00:53:15,374
You are gonna regret this.

1260
00:53:15,407 --> 00:53:17,543
You are messing with the wrong
super successful billionaire.

1261
00:53:17,576 --> 00:53:18,578
Oh!

1262
00:53:18,610 --> 00:53:20,647
Found it.

1263
00:53:20,679 --> 00:53:22,514
Let's go.

1264
00:53:22,547 --> 00:53:26,118
Fine, you want to run from
me? I'm up for the challenge.

1265
00:53:27,752 --> 00:53:28,821
Here we go.

1266
00:53:28,855 --> 00:53:29,822
That's not it.

1267
00:53:29,855 --> 00:53:31,090
That's not it.

1268
00:53:31,123 --> 00:53:32,558
Is that it? Oh... there it is.

1269
00:53:32,592 --> 00:53:34,528
There it is.

1270
00:53:37,196 --> 00:53:39,699
Let's do this.

1271
00:53:39,732 --> 00:53:41,067
Jerks.

1272
00:53:47,772 --> 00:53:50,242
All right.

1273
00:53:50,275 --> 00:53:52,212
I gotta get my VR suit on.

1274
00:53:52,244 --> 00:53:53,712
Oh! Shoot me... ow.

1275
00:53:53,746 --> 00:53:56,116
My thigh.

1276
00:53:56,148 --> 00:53:59,319
All right, I'm just gonna
get my VR suit... oh, shoot.

1277
00:53:59,351 --> 00:54:02,321
Hold on, guys. Guys...
I just dropped my globe.

1278
00:54:02,355 --> 00:54:04,791
I just got a little
bit turned around, guys.

1279
00:54:06,292 --> 00:54:07,527
Got it.

1280
00:54:07,560 --> 00:54:08,594
Don't go anywhere.

1281
00:54:08,627 --> 00:54:10,462
Oh, Jesus. There it is.

1282
00:54:10,496 --> 00:54:12,398
My VR suit is in here.

1283
00:54:12,431 --> 00:54:15,168
Soon as I put that on, you're dead.

1284
00:54:15,201 --> 00:54:17,704
So I just gotta change
out of these clothes,

1285
00:54:17,737 --> 00:54:20,240
get my VR suit on, then
I'm gonna need a zip.

1286
00:54:20,272 --> 00:54:23,342
Janice? I'm gonna need a zip!

1287
00:54:23,375 --> 00:54:24,610
I'm putting the VR suit on,

1288
00:54:24,643 --> 00:54:26,312
and I'm gonna need a zip in a second.

1289
00:54:28,380 --> 00:54:29,581
Whoa.

1290
00:54:29,614 --> 00:54:30,716
Aw.

1291
00:54:30,750 --> 00:54:33,786
Aw, look at the cute little whiskers.

1292
00:54:34,819 --> 00:54:35,821
Jesus.

1293
00:54:35,855 --> 00:54:38,891
Kaboom!

1294
00:54:41,694 --> 00:54:43,329
- Shiny.
- Oh, God!

1295
00:54:47,266 --> 00:54:51,171
You boys can't escape Steve YouTube!

1296
00:54:52,404 --> 00:54:53,805
Dude, quick, get us out of here now!

1297
00:54:53,839 --> 00:54:55,507
I'm trying!

1298
00:55:04,516 --> 00:55:07,486
Oh. Oh, what's happening?

1299
00:55:07,520 --> 00:55:11,291
I think Steve's trying
to delete our history.

1300
00:55:11,324 --> 00:55:13,527
Delete, delete, delete, delete.

1301
00:55:17,663 --> 00:55:19,933
- Ian?
- Hold on, hold on.

1302
00:55:19,965 --> 00:55:22,335
Okay, five seconds.

1303
00:55:22,368 --> 00:55:23,770
Butt Massage Girl.

1304
00:55:23,802 --> 00:55:25,538
I know you're not real,
but I want you to know

1305
00:55:25,571 --> 00:55:27,739
I'm going to find the real
you once I get out of here.

1306
00:55:27,772 --> 00:55:28,740
- Dude.
- I promise you.

1307
00:55:28,773 --> 00:55:30,976
Come on.

1308
00:55:31,009 --> 00:55:34,846
And we're gonna fall in real love, okay?

1309
00:55:34,880 --> 00:55:38,785
And maybe one day, I'll be
the one to massage that booty.

1310
00:55:38,817 --> 00:55:41,888
I'd like that very much, Ian.

1311
00:55:44,456 --> 00:55:46,960
Hoo hoo hah hah hah! Hoo hoo hah hah hah!

1312
00:55:46,993 --> 00:55:50,230
You idiots think you can
get ride of me and YouTube?

1313
00:55:50,263 --> 00:55:52,732
I am YouTube, literally.

1314
00:55:55,333 --> 00:55:56,868
Hey, everybody.

1315
00:55:56,902 --> 00:55:59,539
Or, the three people that
actually watch my stupid vlogs.

1316
00:55:59,572 --> 00:56:01,374
Tonight is graduation night.

1317
00:56:03,842 --> 00:56:05,011
I love you, Anna, and we'll be together

1318
00:56:05,043 --> 00:56:06,913
some day, I promise.

1319
00:56:10,616 --> 00:56:12,752
If you want the best
taste you've ever seen,

1320
00:56:12,784 --> 00:56:15,888
go out and get yourself
some Stone Cold Creamy Cream

1321
00:56:15,920 --> 00:56:16,955
and that's the bottom...

1322
00:56:16,989 --> 00:56:18,657
- Ooh!
- Ugh.

1323
00:56:18,690 --> 00:56:19,692
So sorry, Stone Cold Steve Austin.

1324
00:56:19,725 --> 00:56:20,960
I love you too.

1325
00:56:20,993 --> 00:56:22,761
And your ice cream name
is really confusing.

1326
00:56:22,795 --> 00:56:24,598
Stone Cold Stun her ass, man.

1327
00:56:25,931 --> 00:56:26,965
I love that guy.

1328
00:56:30,536 --> 00:56:31,804
Dude!

1329
00:56:31,837 --> 00:56:34,540
Why was this video in your viewing history?

1330
00:56:34,572 --> 00:56:35,975
Sickos.

1331
00:56:37,409 --> 00:56:39,779
Get us... no, no!

1332
00:56:41,746 --> 00:56:43,382
All right, look.

1333
00:56:43,415 --> 00:56:44,883
All I'm saying is that if you're a guy,

1334
00:56:44,917 --> 00:56:45,884
right, and you're...

1335
00:56:47,987 --> 00:56:49,789
Aw, watch the furniture!

1336
00:56:49,822 --> 00:56:51,457
Oh, hi, Jenna.

1337
00:56:51,489 --> 00:56:53,426
I think it's so hot that
there are two of you,

1338
00:56:53,458 --> 00:56:54,960
and that you're never getting out of here,

1339
00:56:54,993 --> 00:56:56,495
and that you're mine forever!

1340
00:56:56,529 --> 00:56:57,996
Screw you, Steve.

1341
00:56:58,029 --> 00:56:59,631
All right, you two.

1342
00:56:59,665 --> 00:57:02,402
I think we've had enough fun for one day.

1343
00:57:02,435 --> 00:57:05,038
Time to end this.

1344
00:57:05,071 --> 00:57:06,406
There it is.

1345
00:57:06,438 --> 00:57:07,906
Oh, shoot. Got it.

1346
00:57:08,940 --> 00:57:10,877
Die, stupid humans, die.

1347
00:57:14,013 --> 00:57:15,614
Oh, crap.

1348
00:57:15,647 --> 00:57:17,482
Dude, what the hell happened?

1349
00:57:17,516 --> 00:57:18,885
The video's buffering.

1350
00:57:18,918 --> 00:57:20,987
Ugh, see? This is one of my pet peeves.

1351
00:57:21,020 --> 00:57:23,523
It's 2014. Why is there still buffering?

1352
00:57:23,556 --> 00:57:25,625
Why hasn't this issue just
been resolved years ago?

1353
00:57:25,657 --> 00:57:27,527
It's an issue with the
bandwidth, it's complicated.

1354
00:57:27,560 --> 00:57:28,695
Let me see what I can do.

1355
00:57:28,728 --> 00:57:31,097
Janice? Are you streaming videos?

1356
00:57:31,130 --> 00:57:32,732
Can you turn off your AOL for a second?

1357
00:57:32,764 --> 00:57:34,032
I'm having buffering problems.

1358
00:57:34,065 --> 00:57:36,435
Aw, man, you're making it worse.

1359
00:57:36,469 --> 00:57:37,804
Don't get all bitchy with me.

1360
00:57:37,837 --> 00:57:41,107
I was just about to get
you guys with a chainsaw.

1361
00:57:41,139 --> 00:57:42,741
No, you weren't.

1362
00:57:42,775 --> 00:57:44,477
Yeah, we were just about
to jump to the next video,

1363
00:57:44,509 --> 00:57:46,378
there's no way you would
have gotten us in time.

1364
00:57:46,411 --> 00:57:47,580
Wait until this thing stops buffering,

1365
00:57:47,612 --> 00:57:50,049
and I will show you jerks.

1366
00:57:51,750 --> 00:57:53,485
And still no one cares this gorilla

1367
00:57:53,518 --> 00:57:54,853
can operate a chainsaw.

1368
00:57:54,886 --> 00:57:56,555
Awesome!

1369
00:57:56,589 --> 00:58:00,726
That's it. I'm coming in after you jerks.

1370
00:58:09,435 --> 00:58:11,804
Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

1371
00:58:11,837 --> 00:58:13,340
Ha ha ha!

1372
00:58:16,674 --> 00:58:19,578
Dude, the portal!

1373
00:58:19,612 --> 00:58:20,947
Come on!

1374
00:58:20,980 --> 00:58:24,617
- We're gonna make it.
- Oh, are you?

1375
00:58:24,650 --> 00:58:27,019
Steve, it's over, just let us pass.

1376
00:58:27,052 --> 00:58:29,622
Nothing's over till I say it's over.

1377
00:58:29,654 --> 00:58:32,457
I'm Steve. YouTube... I'm Steve YouTube.

1378
00:58:32,491 --> 00:58:34,826
I win, you lose!

1379
00:58:34,860 --> 00:58:36,929
Maybe if you two weren't
so great at making complete

1380
00:58:36,962 --> 00:58:39,465
jackasses out of yourselves,
I wouldn't have even

1381
00:58:39,498 --> 00:58:40,733
wanted you so bad.

1382
00:58:40,766 --> 00:58:42,402
We were so close.

1383
00:58:42,435 --> 00:58:45,638
You were so easy to manipulate,
Backflip Microphone Guy.

1384
00:58:45,670 --> 00:58:47,806
Steve, look behind you.

1385
00:58:47,839 --> 00:58:51,009
No. Not gonna fall for that one.

1386
00:58:51,043 --> 00:58:52,145
He's serious.

1387
00:58:52,177 --> 00:58:53,946
Steve, listen!

1388
00:58:53,978 --> 00:58:55,647
No, you listen.

1389
00:58:55,681 --> 00:58:56,682
Aah!

1390
00:59:02,087 --> 00:59:04,956
- Oh!
- Oh, my... holy...

1391
00:59:04,989 --> 00:59:08,160
Oh, my... holy...

1392
00:59:09,194 --> 00:59:10,696
Oh!

1393
00:59:10,728 --> 00:59:12,197
The bear!

1394
00:59:12,230 --> 00:59:14,032
- Oh, my God!
- Oh!

1395
00:59:14,065 --> 00:59:15,033
Oh, my...

1396
00:59:16,067 --> 00:59:19,205
What the fudd... oh! God!

1397
00:59:19,237 --> 00:59:20,973
Come on, dude, we gotta go.

1398
00:59:27,078 --> 00:59:29,514
- Aah!
- Aah!

1399
00:59:42,962 --> 00:59:44,431
Oh!

1400
00:59:47,500 --> 00:59:50,703
We made it. We made it, man.

1401
00:59:50,735 --> 00:59:53,239
Aw, man. That was a close one.

1402
00:59:53,272 --> 00:59:56,509
He almost had us. Stranger danger, bro.

1403
00:59:56,542 --> 00:59:58,511
Sometimes we forget.

1404
00:59:58,543 --> 01:00:00,645
It was my fault, and I never should have

1405
01:00:00,679 --> 01:00:02,615
made us go in there in the first place.

1406
01:00:02,647 --> 01:00:03,982
It wasn't worth almost losing my hetero

1407
01:00:04,016 --> 01:00:05,551
life partner over.

1408
01:00:05,583 --> 01:00:07,587
What? You'd never lose me.

1409
01:00:07,619 --> 01:00:09,654
And I'm sorry I was such a dick.

1410
01:00:09,688 --> 01:00:13,059
It'll never happen again. All right?

1411
01:00:13,092 --> 01:00:16,061
B...

1412
01:00:16,094 --> 01:00:18,964
- F.
- F.

1413
01:00:18,998 --> 01:00:20,700
BFFs.

1414
01:00:20,732 --> 01:00:23,568
- Burnt French fries.
- What?

1415
01:00:23,601 --> 01:00:26,772
Dude, that's not what that means.

1416
01:00:26,804 --> 01:00:29,741
- It's not?
- No.

1417
01:00:29,775 --> 01:00:31,277
Big fat feet?

1418
01:00:31,310 --> 01:00:35,715
No, that's... that...
you're not even close, dude.

1419
01:00:35,748 --> 01:00:37,215
Oh!

1420
01:00:37,248 --> 01:00:38,584
Aw!

1421
01:00:41,786 --> 01:00:45,690
Oh, I've got it. Booger flicking friends.

1422
01:00:45,723 --> 01:00:47,626
No.

1423
01:00:47,659 --> 01:00:49,594
Hey, it's them.

1424
01:00:49,627 --> 01:00:51,062
Ma'am, I'm really sorry, but we had to let

1425
01:00:51,096 --> 01:00:52,098
that bear eat Steve.

1426
01:00:52,130 --> 01:00:54,500
He was kind of a dick. Run!

1427
01:00:56,134 --> 01:00:57,736
What the hell are you talking about?

1428
01:01:00,139 --> 01:01:01,274
Whoa!

1429
01:01:02,574 --> 01:01:05,176
Aah!

1430
01:01:05,210 --> 01:01:09,215
Come on! Ah!

1431
01:01:10,949 --> 01:01:12,150
It's only, uh...

1432
01:01:13,319 --> 01:01:15,654
6:19, so we still have time

1433
01:01:15,688 --> 01:01:19,559
to go home, change, and make the reunion.

1434
01:01:19,592 --> 01:01:21,227
Where's your car?

1435
01:01:22,694 --> 01:01:25,564
Uh, it... it was right there.

1436
01:01:25,598 --> 01:01:26,565
It must have gotten towed.

1437
01:01:26,598 --> 01:01:28,600
Yeah, great.

1438
01:01:28,634 --> 01:01:32,003
You are the worst at parking.

1439
01:01:33,672 --> 01:01:35,308
♪ We won't ever let you go ♪

1440
01:01:35,340 --> 01:01:38,643
♪ Can't take anymore
I'm under control ♪

1441
01:01:40,179 --> 01:01:43,249
Uh, why are we stopped
here? This isn't our house.

1442
01:01:43,281 --> 01:01:45,884
Uh, yeah it is, man, it says
right there on the mailbox,

1443
01:01:45,918 --> 01:01:47,119
91 Gerard Way.

1444
01:01:47,152 --> 01:01:48,753
What?

1445
01:01:48,786 --> 01:01:51,123
This is our address.

1446
01:02:08,072 --> 01:02:09,875
Hello?

1447
01:02:12,143 --> 01:02:15,013
Leave the door open in case we have to run.

1448
01:02:15,047 --> 01:02:17,784
And grab something really sharp.

1449
01:02:19,018 --> 01:02:20,619
Ah.

1450
01:02:20,652 --> 01:02:21,788
Yeah.

1451
01:02:23,688 --> 01:02:26,625
That's literally the opposite of sharp.

1452
01:02:43,174 --> 01:02:45,010
There you are!

1453
01:02:45,043 --> 01:02:46,212
Why aren't you dressed?

1454
01:02:46,244 --> 01:02:47,746
You're gonna be late for the reunion.

1455
01:02:47,779 --> 01:02:51,383
Butt Massage Girl? What are you doing here?

1456
01:02:51,417 --> 01:02:54,853
For the last time, you're my boyfriend,

1457
01:02:54,886 --> 01:02:57,022
and you should call me by
my real name, which is...

1458
01:02:57,056 --> 01:02:59,058
Shh!

1459
01:02:59,090 --> 01:03:00,659
I'm your boyfriend?

1460
01:03:05,330 --> 01:03:06,866
She's real, dude.

1461
01:03:06,898 --> 01:03:09,268
Ian, did you hit your head?

1462
01:03:09,301 --> 01:03:11,936
Wait, if this is our house,
where'd we get the money?

1463
01:03:11,969 --> 01:03:13,339
Are you serious?

1464
01:03:13,371 --> 01:03:15,206
The Clone Fight video.

1465
01:03:15,239 --> 01:03:16,442
What?

1466
01:03:16,475 --> 01:03:19,377
Oh, my God. Are you guys on drugs?

1467
01:03:19,411 --> 01:03:20,980
I'm drunk in love.

1468
01:03:22,313 --> 01:03:24,049
This video of you guys

1469
01:03:24,083 --> 01:03:27,420
became the biggest
YouTube video of all time,

1470
01:03:27,453 --> 01:03:30,956
Then you got the TV show,
then you met the President,

1471
01:03:30,989 --> 01:03:33,092
then you made the movie,
and now there's even

1472
01:03:33,125 --> 01:03:34,994
<i>Clone Fight Ruins Grad Night</i>

1473
01:03:35,027 --> 01:03:36,929
on Broadway.

1474
01:03:36,962 --> 01:03:40,099
Broadway... that's always been my dream.

1475
01:03:40,132 --> 01:03:42,201
- We did it, man.
- Yeah.

1476
01:03:42,234 --> 01:03:45,071
We changed our entire lives
with that single video.

1477
01:03:45,103 --> 01:03:47,138
And I'm your boyfriend.

1478
01:03:47,172 --> 01:03:49,909
Like, for real, that's not a joke?

1479
01:03:52,277 --> 01:03:53,746
It's not a joke.

1480
01:03:54,779 --> 01:03:56,047
Wait, that means Anna...

1481
01:03:56,081 --> 01:03:57,316
that means Anna's here too, right?

1482
01:03:57,348 --> 01:03:59,017
Anna! Anna, where are you?

1483
01:03:59,051 --> 01:04:00,085
Who's Anna?

1484
01:04:00,118 --> 01:04:01,419
My girlfriend, Anna Reed.

1485
01:04:01,453 --> 01:04:03,723
You don't have a girlfriend.

1486
01:04:03,755 --> 01:04:05,156
I don't?

1487
01:04:05,190 --> 01:04:06,359
You have like, 30.

1488
01:04:10,228 --> 01:04:13,064
- Nice!
- Oh, my God, these...

1489
01:04:13,098 --> 01:04:14,366
These are all my girlfriends?
This is not a joke?

1490
01:04:14,398 --> 01:04:16,835
These are all for me? These are all...

1491
01:04:18,270 --> 01:04:20,072
Oh, my God, these are all my girlfriends.

1492
01:04:20,105 --> 01:04:21,741
You're all my girl... you're my...

1493
01:04:21,773 --> 01:04:23,174
You're my girlfr... You're my girlfriend?

1494
01:04:23,208 --> 01:04:25,377
- Oh, my God!
- They're your girlfriends!

1495
01:04:25,409 --> 01:04:27,913
Wait, is Anna one of... Is Anna...

1496
01:04:27,946 --> 01:04:30,248
Anna? Anna, are you...
are you one of them? Anna?

1497
01:04:30,281 --> 01:04:33,017
Uh, I don't think there's an Anna in there,

1498
01:04:33,051 --> 01:04:35,855
but your girlfriends
don't usually talk to me.

1499
01:04:35,888 --> 01:04:38,090
They're just super-hot bimbos.

1500
01:04:38,123 --> 01:04:40,092
Nice.

1501
01:04:40,125 --> 01:04:42,427
Wait, I'm sorry, I can't do this.

1502
01:04:42,460 --> 01:04:46,498
Anna's the only one I
want. I'm sorry, girls.

1503
01:04:46,531 --> 01:04:49,468
I'm sorry.

1504
01:04:54,406 --> 01:04:57,009
- I'm sorry.
- Bye.

1505
01:04:58,810 --> 01:05:00,178
The reunion.

1506
01:05:00,212 --> 01:05:01,914
I can still see Anna at the reunion,

1507
01:05:01,947 --> 01:05:04,083
and I'm like, cool now,
like, actually cool.

1508
01:05:04,116 --> 01:05:05,217
And rich.

1509
01:05:05,250 --> 01:05:07,353
And famous. Let's go.

1510
01:05:07,386 --> 01:05:10,121
Hi, boys. Don't forget your tuxedos.

1511
01:05:10,154 --> 01:05:12,190
Man! We're rich and famous

1512
01:05:12,223 --> 01:05:13,825
but we still live with my parents?

1513
01:05:13,859 --> 01:05:15,393
Of course not, don't be ridiculous.

1514
01:05:15,427 --> 01:05:17,330
No, we live with you.

1515
01:05:18,397 --> 01:05:20,833
Sweet.

1516
01:05:22,467 --> 01:05:24,069
Wait, who are these guys?

1517
01:05:24,101 --> 01:05:26,071
They're our butlers.

1518
01:05:26,103 --> 01:05:27,339
Uh-huh, yeah.

1519
01:05:27,371 --> 01:05:30,074
Oh, this is your personal hair stylist.

1520
01:05:30,107 --> 01:05:32,076
How much does she charge for a haircut?

1521
01:05:32,110 --> 01:05:34,380
My asking price is $75.

1522
01:05:34,413 --> 01:05:36,815
Make it $85 and you've got yourself a deal.

1523
01:05:38,317 --> 01:05:40,252
Oh, that must be the pizza.

1524
01:05:40,284 --> 01:05:41,953
Pizza?

1525
01:05:44,121 --> 01:05:45,890
Bavooki's Pizza.

1526
01:05:45,924 --> 01:05:46,958
Aah!

1527
01:05:49,261 --> 01:05:53,232
Oh. Awesome kick, bro. Wow.

1528
01:05:53,264 --> 01:05:54,866
Hold on, you're Steve YouTube, right?

1529
01:05:54,900 --> 01:05:57,136
It's pronounced
"You-too-bay."

1530
01:05:57,168 --> 01:05:59,205
But you're the CEO of YouTube.

1531
01:05:59,237 --> 01:06:01,339
No, I'm not. I do food distribution

1532
01:06:01,373 --> 01:06:03,509
for a multi-million dollar company.

1533
01:06:03,542 --> 01:06:06,578
Hmm. Wonder who the CEO of YouTube is now.

1534
01:06:06,612 --> 01:06:08,280
I don't give a shit
what Julian Twitter said.

1535
01:06:08,313 --> 01:06:09,581
Julian Twitter's

1536
01:06:09,614 --> 01:06:10,982
- a little bitch!
- Yes, ma'am.

1537
01:06:11,016 --> 01:06:12,351
Hey, you can tell Joey Amazon

1538
01:06:12,384 --> 01:06:13,953
that I ordered my scrunchies two weeks ago.

1539
01:06:13,985 --> 01:06:17,089
- Sorry, ma'am.
- Next day shipping, my ass!

1540
01:06:17,121 --> 01:06:18,857
I am so sorry for all the trouble,

1541
01:06:18,891 --> 01:06:21,193
Mr. Pizza Delivery Man. Here's
a really big tip for you.

1542
01:06:21,226 --> 01:06:22,895
Oh, well, thank you so much,

1543
01:06:22,927 --> 01:06:25,496
and I actually have a
really big tip for you, too.

1544
01:06:25,529 --> 01:06:27,198
- You do?
- I do.

1545
01:06:27,232 --> 01:06:29,235
It's actually right inside this pizza box.

1546
01:06:29,268 --> 01:06:32,304
- Okay.
- No, Mom, don't look! Don't...

1547
01:06:32,337 --> 01:06:34,273
- Oh.
- Yeah.

1548
01:06:34,306 --> 01:06:35,641
That's funny. Funny.

1549
01:06:35,674 --> 01:06:37,476
Yeah, I think it's time for you to go now.

1550
01:06:37,509 --> 01:06:40,112
Well, enjoy your pizza.

1551
01:06:40,145 --> 01:06:43,449
I'm the best! "Steve
"You-too-bay," out!

1552
01:06:43,482 --> 01:06:45,985
Okay. Well, he seemed lovely.

1553
01:06:46,018 --> 01:06:48,520
I gotta say, rich or
poor, that man really does

1554
01:06:48,552 --> 01:06:50,522
commit to the wiener joke.
You have to respect that

1555
01:06:50,554 --> 01:06:51,522
on some level.

1556
01:06:51,556 --> 01:06:53,225
Oh, our limo's here.

1557
01:06:53,257 --> 01:06:55,627
Oh, well I guess we
better get dressed then.

1558
01:06:55,661 --> 01:06:57,196
Mm, mm, yes,

1559
01:06:57,228 --> 01:06:59,898
Alfred, please fetch us your finest wares.

1560
01:06:59,931 --> 01:07:03,234
Yes, Alfred, get me my tuxedo.

1561
01:07:03,268 --> 01:07:04,603
My name is Frank.

1562
01:07:04,636 --> 01:07:05,603
Ta-ta, gov'ner.

1563
01:07:05,636 --> 01:07:07,205
Our accents are so good.

1564
01:07:07,239 --> 01:07:09,340
Alfredo, can you fetch me some quesadillas?

1565
01:07:09,373 --> 01:07:11,243
- Ah, ha ha ha.
- Alfredo.

1566
01:07:33,364 --> 01:07:35,600
♪ Yeah ♪

1567
01:07:45,177 --> 01:07:49,715
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!

1568
01:07:49,748 --> 01:07:52,150
Ladies and gentlemen,

1569
01:07:52,183 --> 01:07:56,487
please give a warm
Rockville High "welcome back"

1570
01:07:56,520 --> 01:07:59,490
to our rich and famous alumni...

1571
01:07:59,523 --> 01:08:03,362
- Get off the stage!
- Ian Hecox and Anthony Padilla!

1572
01:08:11,636 --> 01:08:13,404
Yeah. What's up?

1573
01:08:13,438 --> 01:08:14,674
- Yo, yo.
- Yo, good to see you.

1574
01:08:16,307 --> 01:08:18,944
Good to see you. Good to see you guys.

1575
01:08:24,115 --> 01:08:26,017
Get outta here, Moss.

1576
01:08:26,051 --> 01:08:27,386
Bros!

1577
01:08:27,419 --> 01:08:29,021
So great to have you here.

1578
01:08:29,053 --> 01:08:30,154
So great!

1579
01:08:30,187 --> 01:08:31,289
Thanks.

1580
01:08:31,322 --> 01:08:32,423
Anything you need, just let me know.

1581
01:08:32,456 --> 01:08:34,692
I'm emceeing this little shindig.

1582
01:08:34,726 --> 01:08:36,295
We got a free taco bar over there,

1583
01:08:36,328 --> 01:08:38,464
so help yourself to whatever.

1584
01:08:38,496 --> 01:08:39,731
- Thanks, Mr. Ellis.
- Yeah. Yeah.

1585
01:08:39,764 --> 01:08:41,600
Nice!

1586
01:08:41,633 --> 01:08:43,569
Tonight is gonna rock.

1587
01:08:43,602 --> 01:08:45,070
Yeah.

1588
01:08:45,102 --> 01:08:48,606
It's gonna rock balls! Whoo!

1589
01:08:53,812 --> 01:08:55,314
Anna's here.

1590
01:08:55,347 --> 01:08:57,583
Go get her, man. Go on.

1591
01:08:57,615 --> 01:08:59,384
♪ I was a stranger and you let me in ♪

1592
01:08:59,418 --> 01:09:04,056
Um, Butt Massage Girl and I are
gonna go start on that taco bar.

1593
01:09:06,157 --> 01:09:08,326
Hey, Anna. What's up?

1594
01:09:08,360 --> 01:09:11,096
Oh. Anthony.

1595
01:09:11,129 --> 01:09:12,698
Yeah, it's me.

1596
01:09:12,731 --> 01:09:16,168
I didn't think I'd see you here tonight.

1597
01:09:16,200 --> 01:09:17,602
Why not?

1598
01:09:17,636 --> 01:09:19,605
You know, you're rich and famous now.

1599
01:09:19,637 --> 01:09:22,240
Figured you'd have better things to do.

1600
01:09:22,273 --> 01:09:23,542
Well, I mean, yeah, I
do have a ton of cool,

1601
01:09:23,575 --> 01:09:25,411
rich, expensive stuff I could be doing,

1602
01:09:25,444 --> 01:09:29,781
but wanted to show up and see you.

1603
01:09:29,815 --> 01:09:32,183
Me? Why?

1604
01:09:32,217 --> 01:09:33,819
Um...

1605
01:09:33,852 --> 01:09:39,191
Well, because I wanted to
tell you that I love you too.

1606
01:09:39,223 --> 01:09:41,793
You came here to tell me you love YouTube?

1607
01:09:43,094 --> 01:09:47,331
No, no, no, no, I love you also.

1608
01:09:47,365 --> 01:09:49,668
I know you love me, and I love you,

1609
01:09:49,700 --> 01:09:54,806
and I've loved you ever since
the first time I saw you.

1610
01:09:54,839 --> 01:09:57,442
Hold on.

1611
01:09:57,476 --> 01:09:59,678
Love you?

1612
01:09:59,710 --> 01:10:04,282
Yeah, I saw your... I saw
your vlog, you love me.

1613
01:10:04,316 --> 01:10:06,718
Anthony, that was a long time ago.

1614
01:10:06,750 --> 01:10:09,154
You were a different guy then.

1615
01:10:09,187 --> 01:10:10,689
Yeah, I was a loser.

1616
01:10:10,722 --> 01:10:12,491
But I'm not anymore.

1617
01:10:12,523 --> 01:10:15,694
No. You were never a loser.

1618
01:10:15,727 --> 01:10:18,664
You were just... weird and quirky

1619
01:10:18,696 --> 01:10:20,331
and only showered, like, once a week,

1620
01:10:20,365 --> 01:10:22,568
but I liked that about
you. It was like you had

1621
01:10:22,601 --> 01:10:23,802
better things to worry about

1622
01:10:23,834 --> 01:10:25,636
than your looks and basic hygiene.

1623
01:10:25,669 --> 01:10:27,505
And now, you're like a guy who would spend

1624
01:10:27,539 --> 01:10:31,110
$80 on a haircut.

1625
01:10:31,142 --> 01:10:34,212
Look, I'm still the same guy, I swear.

1626
01:10:34,245 --> 01:10:38,549
Anthony, you're wearing a tuxedo.

1627
01:10:38,583 --> 01:10:42,754
I wore this tux 'cause I
thought it's what you wanted.

1628
01:10:42,786 --> 01:10:46,458
I'm sorry. It's just not.

1629
01:10:51,862 --> 01:10:54,465
Mmm. I don't know why I'm eating tacos.

1630
01:10:54,499 --> 01:10:56,368
They go straight to my butt.

1631
01:10:56,401 --> 01:10:57,703
Oh, really?

1632
01:10:57,736 --> 01:11:01,507
Yeah, that's horrible, right? Terrible.

1633
01:11:01,539 --> 01:11:02,507
Hey.

1634
01:11:02,540 --> 01:11:05,878
So? How'd it go?

1635
01:11:05,910 --> 01:11:08,413
Well... I blew it.

1636
01:11:08,445 --> 01:11:10,348
What?

1637
01:11:10,382 --> 01:11:13,685
Yeah, she liked the old me, the loser me.

1638
01:11:13,718 --> 01:11:15,487
Mm.

1639
01:11:15,520 --> 01:11:17,222
I'm sorry, man, I dragged you
through all this for nothing.

1640
01:11:17,254 --> 01:11:21,325
Hold on, man. You made my dreams come true.

1641
01:11:21,359 --> 01:11:24,896
Look, I am dating Butt Massage Girl.

1642
01:11:24,929 --> 01:11:26,865
- I have a name, you know.
- N-n-n... don't.

1643
01:11:26,897 --> 01:11:28,432
Don't ruin the moment.

1644
01:11:28,465 --> 01:11:30,535
Yes, we're rich and
famous, but the real you

1645
01:11:30,569 --> 01:11:33,739
is still in there, just as stupid as ever.

1646
01:11:33,771 --> 01:11:36,174
And, on a long enough timeline,

1647
01:11:36,208 --> 01:11:38,477
all $85 haircuts become $10 haircuts

1648
01:11:38,509 --> 01:11:41,847
if you let them grow out long enough.

1649
01:11:41,879 --> 01:11:42,914
You're right.

1650
01:11:42,947 --> 01:11:44,883
Of course I'm right.

1651
01:11:44,915 --> 01:11:46,250
I'm always right, right?

1652
01:11:46,284 --> 01:11:47,419
- You're always right.
- Yeah.

1653
01:11:51,388 --> 01:11:53,659
You can do this, Anthony.

1654
01:11:53,691 --> 01:11:57,728
Yeah. Yeah.

1655
01:11:57,762 --> 01:12:00,566
Who here loves The Deadmau5?

1656
01:12:00,598 --> 01:12:03,569
Boom.

1657
01:12:13,245 --> 01:12:14,546
Ladies and gentlemen,

1658
01:12:14,579 --> 01:12:17,215
our rich and famous
alumni, Anthony Padilla,

1659
01:12:17,249 --> 01:12:19,918
has a song he'd like to perform,
and since he's rich and famous,

1660
01:12:19,950 --> 01:12:22,420
I'm gonna allow him to do
whatever he wants here tonight.

1661
01:12:22,454 --> 01:12:28,393
Let's get ready to rock balls to
<i>Magic Pocket Slave Monsters!</i>

1662
01:12:30,895 --> 01:12:32,531
- Yeah!
- Whoo!

1663
01:12:32,563 --> 01:12:33,764
That's my friend up there.

1664
01:12:33,798 --> 01:12:35,767
That's his friend.

1665
01:12:35,799 --> 01:12:37,535
This song goes out to a very special lady

1666
01:12:37,569 --> 01:12:40,438
out here in the crowd tonight.

1667
01:12:40,472 --> 01:12:41,974
You rock, Anthony!

1668
01:12:42,007 --> 01:12:44,442
Take it off! Take it off!

1669
01:12:44,476 --> 01:12:45,710
Hit it, Mr. Ellis.

1670
01:12:48,545 --> 01:12:51,516
♪ I want to be the master ♪

1671
01:12:51,548 --> 01:12:54,518
♪ I want to flip the switch ♪

1672
01:12:54,552 --> 01:12:55,721
Whoa!

1673
01:12:55,754 --> 01:12:56,722
♪ I want... ♪

1674
01:12:56,754 --> 01:12:57,989
I did the flip.

1675
01:12:58,022 --> 01:12:59,624
- He did the flip.
- He did the flip!

1676
01:12:59,657 --> 01:13:01,593
I did the flip!

1677
01:13:11,669 --> 01:13:13,371
You should be up there with him.

1678
01:13:13,405 --> 01:13:15,607
You're right.

1679
01:13:15,639 --> 01:13:17,575
Rock balls!

1680
01:13:17,609 --> 01:13:20,611
♪ I want to capture all these guys ♪

1681
01:13:20,645 --> 01:13:24,415
♪ And make each one my bitch ♪

1682
01:13:24,449 --> 01:13:27,585
♪ I want to travel everywhere ♪

1683
01:13:27,619 --> 01:13:31,056
♪ Any chance I see ♪

1684
01:13:31,088 --> 01:13:34,325
♪ I'll rip a pocket slave monster ♪

1685
01:13:34,359 --> 01:13:36,561
♪ From his family ♪

1686
01:13:36,593 --> 01:13:38,596
♪ Magic Pocket Slave Monsters ♪

1687
01:13:38,629 --> 01:13:41,600
♪ You now work for me ♪

1688
01:13:41,633 --> 01:13:43,435
♪ Even worse, you work for free ♪

1689
01:13:43,468 --> 01:13:45,070
♪ Magic Pocket Slave Monsters ♪

1690
01:13:45,102 --> 01:13:47,705
♪ You'd better fight when I call ♪

1691
01:13:47,739 --> 01:13:50,075
♪ Or I'll castrate your balls ♪

1692
01:13:50,107 --> 01:13:52,343
♪ Magic Pocket Slave Monsters ♪

1693
01:13:52,377 --> 01:13:57,915
♪ Get back in your cube or
I'll kill everyone you love ♪

1694
01:13:57,949 --> 01:14:01,085
♪ I'm a heartless dick ♪

1695
01:14:12,364 --> 01:14:14,031
You're crazy.

1696
01:14:14,065 --> 01:14:15,600
See, I told you.

1697
01:14:15,633 --> 01:14:17,102
How do I know this is real? How do I know

1698
01:14:17,134 --> 01:14:19,103
you're not just showing
me what I want to see?

1699
01:14:19,137 --> 01:14:20,839
Well, you're just gonna
have to trust me, Anna.

1700
01:14:21,972 --> 01:14:23,641
Wh... wh... whoa!

1701
01:14:25,377 --> 01:14:26,844
Aah!

1702
01:14:26,878 --> 01:14:28,914
Dude, I think he's gonna be okay.

1703
01:14:28,946 --> 01:14:29,914
Wh... wh... whoa! Oh!

1704
01:14:33,618 --> 01:14:35,486
Nope, he's dead.

1705
01:14:35,520 --> 01:14:37,723
Oh, my God, call the police!

1706
01:14:38,923 --> 01:14:42,627
It really is you.

1707
01:14:42,660 --> 01:14:44,930
I'll never pay more than
$10 for a haircut again.

1708
01:14:44,963 --> 01:14:47,599
Promise?

1709
01:14:50,502 --> 01:14:52,737
Oh!

1710
01:14:59,544 --> 01:15:01,747
Oh!

1711
01:15:01,780 --> 01:15:03,581
- I'm so proud of you.
- Wasn't I so good?

1712
01:15:03,615 --> 01:15:04,648
- You were so good.
- I'm so good at dancing.

1713
01:15:04,682 --> 01:15:05,917
You were so good.

1714
01:15:12,523 --> 01:15:14,892
Anna Reed's in the house, y'all!

1715
01:15:20,097 --> 01:15:21,499
Hi, I'm Anna.

1716
01:15:21,532 --> 01:15:23,567
Nice to meet you. My name's Brad.

1717
01:15:23,601 --> 01:15:24,737
What the fuck?

1718
01:15:25,969 --> 01:15:26,937
♪ What... what ♪

1719
01:15:33,878 --> 01:15:35,045
Okay, do it again.

1720
01:15:35,079 --> 01:15:36,047
And...

1721
01:15:36,079 --> 01:15:38,516
Bleah!

1722
01:15:38,549 --> 01:15:41,619
M.C. Hammer time.

1723
01:15:41,652 --> 01:15:43,422
And, action!

1724
01:15:43,454 --> 01:15:45,423
♪ I know it hurts ♪

1725
01:15:46,891 --> 01:15:48,727
Cut. Get that mask off.

1726
01:15:50,762 --> 01:15:54,599
♪ I know it hurts so bad ♪

1727
01:15:54,632 --> 01:15:57,436
Yeah, yeah, my nipples are
a little hard right now.

1728
01:15:57,468 --> 01:15:59,971
Puttin' in a few hours at the gym.

1729
01:16:00,004 --> 01:16:04,543
I'll be the CEO of Pizza
Co., rollin' in the dough.

1730
01:16:04,575 --> 01:16:07,478
Yeah. Yeah, that was a pun.

1731
01:16:07,512 --> 01:16:09,615
CEO Anthony.

1732
01:16:13,785 --> 01:16:15,854
Right from the top rope.
Damn, I've never done it

1733
01:16:15,887 --> 01:16:18,089
in the top rope, that's why I'm
having a hard time with that.

1734
01:16:18,121 --> 01:16:19,990
- All right, here we go.
- And...

1735
01:16:20,023 --> 01:16:22,093
- Oh! I'm giving birth!
- Aah!

1736
01:16:22,125 --> 01:16:24,762
- I'm giving birth!
- Oh!

1737
01:16:24,795 --> 01:16:27,598
That was really early.

1738
01:16:27,632 --> 01:16:29,701
Who's gonna watch me enslave
all these cute, adorable,

1739
01:16:29,734 --> 01:16:31,736
fuzzy creaters?

1740
01:16:31,768 --> 01:16:34,172
I said "creaters." What's a creater?

1741
01:16:34,204 --> 01:16:35,806
Cut.

1742
01:16:35,839 --> 01:16:37,641
Just do the other guy's
line... do Ian's line?

1743
01:16:37,674 --> 01:16:38,642
Yeah.

1744
01:16:38,676 --> 01:16:39,844
"The other guy"?

1745
01:16:39,878 --> 01:16:41,213
- Sorry.
- "The other guy"?

1746
01:16:41,245 --> 01:16:43,080
It slipped out. It slipped out.

1747
01:16:43,114 --> 01:16:44,749
I'm out.

1748
01:16:44,781 --> 01:16:46,083
- You're the other guy.
- I'm the other guy.

1749
01:16:46,116 --> 01:16:47,686
I'm "the guy" and he's "the other guy."

1750
01:16:47,718 --> 01:16:48,686
Yeah.

1751
01:16:58,295 --> 01:16:59,897
♪ One, two, three, four ♪

1752
01:17:11,543 --> 01:17:17,081
♪ I can see a picture in my
head of someone spinning ♪

1753
01:17:17,115 --> 01:17:22,987
♪ I could always tell it was
the end of the beginning ♪

1754
01:17:23,021 --> 01:17:28,692
♪ When you coming over here?
There's no need for pretending ♪

1755
01:17:28,726 --> 01:17:30,228
♪ I try not to be callous ♪

1756
01:17:30,261 --> 01:17:34,165
♪ With the signals
that you're sending ♪

1757
01:17:34,197 --> 01:17:37,168
♪ I go, oh, oh, oh ♪

1758
01:17:37,200 --> 01:17:40,170
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪

1759
01:17:40,204 --> 01:17:43,608
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪

1760
01:17:43,641 --> 01:17:46,011
♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪

1761
01:17:46,044 --> 01:17:49,281
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪

1762
01:17:49,313 --> 01:17:51,917
♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪

1763
01:17:51,950 --> 01:17:55,186
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪

1764
01:17:55,218 --> 01:17:57,788
♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪

1765
01:17:57,821 --> 01:18:01,025
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪

1766
01:18:02,826 --> 01:18:06,130
♪ Now don't you ever
break my heart, girl ♪

1767
01:18:08,365 --> 01:18:11,869
♪ To put an end to what you saw, girl ♪

1768
01:18:14,172 --> 01:18:17,741
♪ Now don't you ever
break my heart, girl ♪

1769
01:18:20,011 --> 01:18:23,615
♪ Now don't you ever
break my heart, girl ♪

1770
01:18:25,883 --> 01:18:29,321
♪ To put an end to what you saw, girl ♪

1771
01:18:39,062 --> 01:18:42,900
♪ I was a stranger when you let me in ♪

1772
01:18:42,933 --> 01:18:46,338
♪ I was a danger to myself and others ♪

1773
01:18:46,370 --> 01:18:49,907
♪ If I had a nickel
every time I heard ♪

1774
01:18:49,941 --> 01:18:53,111
♪ All their crazy thoughts
burning out of my world ♪

1775
01:18:53,143 --> 01:18:55,112
♪ Say oh ♪

1776
01:18:55,146 --> 01:18:59,017
♪ You hurt me on the radio ♪

1777
01:18:59,049 --> 01:19:02,654
♪ Couldn't let the feelings show ♪

1778
01:19:02,687 --> 01:19:09,961
♪ When I was on
the radio-o-o-o ♪

1779
01:19:09,994 --> 01:19:12,664
- ♪ Oh, oh ♪
- ♪ Hey, on the radio ♪

1780
01:19:12,696 --> 01:19:16,101
- ♪ Hey, hey, on the radio ♪
- ♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪

1781
01:19:16,133 --> 01:19:17,201
♪ Hey, hey, on the radio ♪

1782
01:19:17,235 --> 01:19:19,904
♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪

1783
01:19:19,937 --> 01:19:22,674
♪ Hey, hey, on the radio ♪

1784
01:19:22,706 --> 01:19:24,875
♪ Say oh ♪

1785
01:19:24,909 --> 01:19:28,713
♪ You hurt me on the radio ♪

1786
01:19:28,745 --> 01:19:32,216
♪ Couldn't let the feelings show ♪

1787
01:19:32,249 --> 01:19:35,819
♪ When I was on
the radio-o-o-o ♪

1788
01:19:35,852 --> 01:19:39,423
♪ I couldn't really let it go ♪

1789
01:19:39,456 --> 01:19:43,328
♪ I didn't want you to know ♪

1790
01:19:43,361 --> 01:19:46,931
♪ When I was on the radio ♪

1791
01:19:46,963 --> 01:19:54,338
♪ When I was on
the radio-o-o-o ♪

1792
01:19:54,371 --> 01:19:58,008
♪ Oh, oh ♪

1793
01:19:58,042 --> 01:20:01,812
♪ When I was on the radio ♪

1794
01:20:01,846 --> 01:20:05,316
♪ Oh, oh ♪

1795
01:20:05,348 --> 01:20:09,087
♪ I was on the radio ♪

1796
01:20:09,120 --> 01:20:12,857
♪ I couldn't really let it go ♪

1797
01:20:12,889 --> 01:20:16,727
♪ I didn't want you to know ♪

1798
01:20:16,761 --> 01:20:24,736
♪ When I was on
the radio-o-o-o ♪

1799
01:20:32,043 --> 01:20:34,312
♪ She's said she couldn't believe ♪

1800
01:20:34,344 --> 01:20:38,415
♪ Why I waste my time on this ♪

1801
01:20:38,449 --> 01:20:44,054
♪ Bullshit mentality isn't
a thing that I would miss ♪

1802
01:20:44,088 --> 01:20:48,192
♪ But I still remember her ♪

1803
01:20:48,226 --> 01:20:54,398
♪ Those days when used to
kiss on a lazy afternoon ♪

1804
01:20:54,432 --> 01:21:00,071
♪ Cigarettes and bottles of
wine living easy I presume ♪

1805
01:21:00,103 --> 01:21:05,275
♪ Now I can't stop wondering why ♪

1806
01:21:05,308 --> 01:21:11,482
♪ Why you have to be so
cold, frozen like ice ♪

1807
01:21:11,516 --> 01:21:17,989
♪ It's time for me to really
adore your new disguise ♪

1808
01:21:18,021 --> 01:21:20,290
♪ But pride is what
you threw in my face ♪

1809
01:21:20,324 --> 01:21:24,428
♪ And we played that game
Oh, no, it's the same thing ♪

1810
01:21:24,462 --> 01:21:30,535
♪ Every time you are frozen like ice ♪

1811
01:21:30,567 --> 01:21:37,275
♪ Baby, why'd you have
to be so cold-o-o-old? ♪

1812
01:21:39,310 --> 01:21:41,146
♪ She's said she couldn't believe ♪

1813
01:21:41,178 --> 01:21:45,516
♪ Why I waste my time on this ♪

1814
01:21:45,549 --> 01:21:51,255
♪ Bullshit mentality isn't
a thing that I would miss ♪

1815
01:21:51,289 --> 01:21:56,427
♪ Now I can't stop wondering why ♪

1816
01:21:56,459 --> 01:22:02,566
♪ Why you have to be so
cold, frozen like ice ♪

1817
01:22:02,600 --> 01:22:09,206
♪ It's time for me to really
adore your new disguise ♪

1818
01:22:09,240 --> 01:22:11,409
♪ But pride is what
you threw in my face ♪

1819
01:22:11,441 --> 01:22:15,846
♪ And we played that game
Oh, no, it's the same thing ♪

1820
01:22:15,879 --> 01:22:21,852
♪ Every time you are frozen like ice ♪

1821
01:22:21,886 --> 01:22:28,959
♪ Baby, why'd you have
to be so cold-o-o-old? ♪

1822
01:22:41,905 --> 01:22:44,308
I have a raging boner right now.

1823
01:22:45,476 --> 01:22:47,045
Me too.

1824
01:22:49,146 --> 01:22:50,281
I love you.

1825
01:22:50,313 --> 01:22:53,017
I love you too.

1826
01:22:58,588 --> 01:23:01,558
It's okay. It's okay.

1827
01:23:01,592 --> 01:23:03,228
It's okay.

1828
01:23:03,261 --> 01:23:04,862
It's okay. Let's go, that's fine.

1829
01:23:04,896 --> 01:23:06,431
Let's go, let's go.

1830
01:23:09,432 --> 01:23:10,401
Well.

1831
01:23:10,435 --> 01:23:14,435
Sync and corrections by explosiveskull
www.addic7ed.com

1831
01:23:15,305 --> 01:23:21,670
Please rate this subtitle at www.osdb.link/qp9b
Help other users to choose the best subtitles