1 00:00:06,882 --> 00:00:08,758 (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) 2 00:01:17,411 --> 00:01:20,329 I don't think you want to go into that part of town, 3 00:01:20,414 --> 00:01:22,498 not alone. 4 00:01:22,583 --> 00:01:25,251 I'll go with you, Joe, if you want. 5 00:01:26,837 --> 00:01:28,296 - What do you think? - Sounds good. 6 00:01:28,380 --> 00:01:30,840 - Yeah, for real? - Very natural. 7 00:01:30,924 --> 00:01:32,842 Yeah, I think I'm gonna get this one, I really do. 8 00:01:32,926 --> 00:01:35,553 You know, I feel like it was written for me. 9 00:01:35,637 --> 00:01:36,846 I mean, with Eddie Burns producing... 10 00:01:36,930 --> 00:01:39,390 I mean, the guy knows me from back in the day. 11 00:01:39,475 --> 00:01:40,933 You sure that's a good thing? 12 00:01:41,018 --> 00:01:43,603 Don't listen to him, Johnny, I love the positivity. 13 00:01:43,687 --> 00:01:46,105 - Yeah, thanks, Vince. - Look, you do sound good, Drama, 14 00:01:46,190 --> 00:01:48,983 but I wouldn't count on Eddie Burns knowing you. You should focus. 15 00:01:49,067 --> 00:01:50,318 You're right, you're right. 16 00:01:50,861 --> 00:01:52,987 Focused. Like a laser. 17 00:01:53,947 --> 00:01:57,074 - No. No. Okay, sorry. - (PHONE RINGING) 18 00:01:57,242 --> 00:02:00,411 Ari Gold's office. No, n... 19 00:02:00,496 --> 00:02:01,496 LLOYD: Can I ask you to hold please? 20 00:02:01,705 --> 00:02:03,456 What's up? You look like hell. 21 00:02:03,540 --> 00:02:04,916 The phones have been ringing off the hook. 22 00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:07,210 Everyone knows that you took the new space. 23 00:02:07,294 --> 00:02:08,711 They're asking me if we're a new major. 24 00:02:08,796 --> 00:02:10,421 Terrance signed the papers. It doesn't matter. 25 00:02:10,506 --> 00:02:12,507 Just deny deny deny. It'll all be over soon. 26 00:02:12,716 --> 00:02:14,801 You know I don't like to lie, Ari. 27 00:02:14,885 --> 00:02:16,469 Lloyd, be a man. 28 00:02:16,553 --> 00:02:20,306 Or as much of a man as you can possibly be for God fuckin' sakes. 29 00:02:20,390 --> 00:02:22,308 Now what's up this morning? 30 00:02:22,392 --> 00:02:24,852 - Vince and the boys are on their way. - It's gonna be a good day. 31 00:02:24,937 --> 00:02:26,562 A good day, Lloyd. I can feel it. 32 00:02:26,647 --> 00:02:28,731 (PHONES CONTINUE RINGING) 33 00:02:29,358 --> 00:02:31,859 Ari Gold's office. No, I haven't heard anything about that. 34 00:02:31,944 --> 00:02:33,152 No, I don't know anything about that. 35 00:02:37,282 --> 00:02:38,282 I'll be here. 36 00:02:38,951 --> 00:02:40,076 You gonna make me hang up there alone? 37 00:02:40,410 --> 00:02:42,870 Sorry, bro. Audition's at 3:00. 38 00:02:43,831 --> 00:02:47,542 - I'm a laser. - You're a retard, but okay. 39 00:02:47,626 --> 00:02:49,418 - (PHONES RINGING) - LLOYD: No, that is so not true. 40 00:02:49,503 --> 00:02:50,878 So not true! 41 00:02:50,963 --> 00:02:52,755 You guys can go right in. 42 00:02:52,840 --> 00:02:55,925 LLOYD: Ari Gold's office, please hold. Ari Gold's office, please hold. 43 00:02:56,009 --> 00:02:58,928 I'll be out here all alone. 44 00:02:59,096 --> 00:03:00,763 What's going on out there, Ari? You having a telethon? 45 00:03:00,848 --> 00:03:03,474 Yeah, E. Raising cash for the subordinates of movie stars 46 00:03:03,559 --> 00:03:04,767 who can't fend for themselves. 47 00:03:04,935 --> 00:03:06,686 - Hardee-har-har. - What's the big surprise, Ari? 48 00:03:06,770 --> 00:03:09,689 - Wow, getting right to it, huh, Vin? - Last time you surprised me, 49 00:03:09,773 --> 00:03:11,732 I was fired, so naturally I'm a bit anxious. 50 00:03:11,817 --> 00:03:14,026 Okay, here it is, you remember "Queens Boulevard" 51 00:03:14,111 --> 00:03:15,778 that was supposed to be released on six screens, 52 00:03:15,863 --> 00:03:17,530 so NYU students had something to do on a Friday night? 53 00:03:18,448 --> 00:03:21,617 Turns out the studio has decided to push the release. 54 00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:23,327 - Why? - What the fuck?! 55 00:03:23,412 --> 00:03:24,787 Because they want to release it wide 56 00:03:24,872 --> 00:03:28,332 on 1,200 motherfuckin' screens! Boom! 57 00:03:28,417 --> 00:03:31,377 Turns out E's lucky pick has been testing through the roof 58 00:03:31,461 --> 00:03:33,838 - and with the success of "Aquaman"... - Two for two! 59 00:03:33,922 --> 00:03:37,466 It gets better. The Hollywood Foreign Press wants to sit down with you, 60 00:03:37,801 --> 00:03:41,470 to discuss everything "QB," wanna have a press conference this afternoon. 61 00:03:41,638 --> 00:03:43,139 Jesus, give me a little less notice. 62 00:03:43,348 --> 00:03:44,974 When the Hollywood Foreign Press calls, 63 00:03:45,058 --> 00:03:47,059 you run, Vinnie, okay? Will you be there? 64 00:03:47,144 --> 00:03:48,769 - I'll be there... - Will you do something for me? 65 00:03:49,146 --> 00:03:52,064 Will you smile? Will you look happy? Will you look cooperative? 66 00:03:52,149 --> 00:03:54,025 Well, what exactly does cooperative look like? 67 00:03:54,318 --> 00:03:56,736 Vin, we need this. We want people to forget about 68 00:03:56,820 --> 00:03:59,989 the fact that you just got fired. Will you smile? 69 00:04:02,659 --> 00:04:03,951 Oh, hey, Eddie. 70 00:04:04,036 --> 00:04:05,745 It's great to see you too. 71 00:04:05,829 --> 00:04:07,413 Me? (CHUCKLES) 72 00:04:07,497 --> 00:04:10,082 Thanks, yeah, things are great, just great. 73 00:04:10,167 --> 00:04:12,627 Life is just so amazing, isn't it? 74 00:04:14,046 --> 00:04:15,212 What the hell? 75 00:04:16,298 --> 00:04:20,509 Uh, maybe you didn't notice, but I'm sitting in the car. 76 00:04:21,178 --> 00:04:22,178 I noticed. 77 00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:24,347 Obviously, you didn't notice the meter needed feeding. 78 00:04:24,806 --> 00:04:26,974 What, no heads-up? No tap on the window? 79 00:04:27,267 --> 00:04:28,809 (LAUGHS) Sorry, pal. 80 00:04:29,144 --> 00:04:31,395 The meter's red... the car is dead. 81 00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:33,230 (MAKES GUNSHOT SOUND) 82 00:04:33,357 --> 00:04:34,482 - Civil servant? - (RAP MUSIC PLAYING) 83 00:04:34,566 --> 00:04:37,860 What the fuck is civil about not giving a guy a warning? It's anti-American. 84 00:04:38,111 --> 00:04:39,153 I think that's in the Bill of Rights. 85 00:04:39,237 --> 00:04:41,364 DRAMA: The point is, this isn't Communist Russia. 86 00:04:41,448 --> 00:04:43,824 Communist Russia isn't Communist Russia anymore either, Drama. 87 00:04:43,909 --> 00:04:45,076 You wanna fuckin' start, E?! 88 00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:48,287 Johnny, relax, I'll pay for the ticket. 89 00:04:48,372 --> 00:04:50,331 That's not the point, Vince, it's the principle. 90 00:04:50,415 --> 00:04:53,292 A guy should be able to sit in his own car on a public street 91 00:04:53,377 --> 00:04:55,378 without being unjustly harassed. 92 00:05:05,973 --> 00:05:08,015 - What are you doing? - I'm gonna fight for my rights. 93 00:05:08,100 --> 00:05:11,560 I'm gonna go down there, I'm gonna make that guy's day a living hell. 94 00:05:12,020 --> 00:05:13,604 (MOCKING) I thought you were a laser. 95 00:05:13,689 --> 00:05:15,898 - This won't affect me. You in? - VINCE: Forget about him. 96 00:05:16,274 --> 00:05:17,358 Come on, you're nervous. 97 00:05:17,526 --> 00:05:19,485 You always get uptight when you have something big. 98 00:05:19,569 --> 00:05:22,196 You don't have to be. You can get this if you stay focused. 99 00:05:24,950 --> 00:05:26,617 - Yeah, you're right. - Right? 100 00:05:26,743 --> 00:05:30,204 Yeah. You're right, bro. Thanks. 101 00:05:30,288 --> 00:05:31,706 All right, Turtle, let's go get a cup of coffee, 102 00:05:31,790 --> 00:05:33,541 start heading west so I'm not late. Thanks, Vince! 103 00:05:33,875 --> 00:05:35,251 - You betcha. - Hey, good luck, Drama. 104 00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:36,335 Thanks, E. 105 00:05:36,420 --> 00:05:37,878 (ENGINE TURNS OVER) 106 00:05:41,758 --> 00:05:44,593 - See how calming I can be? - Yeah, very impressive. 107 00:05:44,678 --> 00:05:47,013 - Now, what should we do? - Call Walsh, let's celebrate. 108 00:05:47,097 --> 00:05:49,265 - No. Really? - Yeah, he'll be happy to hear from you. 109 00:05:49,433 --> 00:05:51,517 STADIUM ANNOUNCER: Hillbilly Willy is starting to come on 110 00:05:51,601 --> 00:05:53,269 - as he passes Marshal Tito in stride. - (PHONE RINGING) 111 00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:55,813 Hillbilly Willy is starting to come on... 112 00:05:56,106 --> 00:05:58,566 Suit! What a pleasant fucking surprise. 113 00:05:58,817 --> 00:06:01,110 - How you doing, Billy? - BILLY: I'm awful. 114 00:06:01,194 --> 00:06:02,862 Yeah, well, maybe this will make you feel better. 115 00:06:02,946 --> 00:06:05,489 "Queens Boulevard" is gonna open on 1,200 screens. 116 00:06:05,615 --> 00:06:07,533 - ANNOUNCER: Willy is closing fast... - Yes! 117 00:06:07,617 --> 00:06:08,617 - (ANNOUNCER CHATTERING) - Run! 118 00:06:09,036 --> 00:06:10,828 Run, you fucking slag! 119 00:06:11,621 --> 00:06:12,621 Come on! 120 00:06:12,789 --> 00:06:14,248 Hello? 121 00:06:14,332 --> 00:06:16,000 - ANNOUNCER: Hillbilly winning by a nose! - Fuck! 122 00:06:16,084 --> 00:06:17,918 What a finishing kick on that horse! 123 00:06:18,003 --> 00:06:19,045 (ANNOUNCER CONTINUES CHATTERING) 124 00:06:19,129 --> 00:06:21,630 Fucking fillies, suit. Never count on a broad. 125 00:06:22,007 --> 00:06:23,924 Did you hear me, Billy? 1,200 screens. 126 00:06:24,009 --> 00:06:25,134 BILLY: Yeah, I fuckin' heard ya 127 00:06:25,218 --> 00:06:26,343 and I already know all about it. 128 00:06:27,095 --> 00:06:28,596 Why do you think I'm out blowing all my money 129 00:06:28,680 --> 00:06:31,098 on booze and ponies? I'm depressed as shit. 130 00:06:31,224 --> 00:06:33,017 Depressed? Billy, this is good news. 131 00:06:33,101 --> 00:06:35,394 No, it ain't, suit. And it ain't gonna happen either. 132 00:06:35,479 --> 00:06:37,730 I'm slapping those fucks with an injunction. 133 00:06:37,814 --> 00:06:40,816 I'm gonna make sure that film never sees the light of day. 134 00:06:40,984 --> 00:06:43,360 Jesus Christ, Billy. He's trying to kill the release of the movie. 135 00:06:43,445 --> 00:06:44,487 - What? Why? - Why? 136 00:06:44,654 --> 00:06:47,239 Because I'm not gonna let those douche bags 137 00:06:47,324 --> 00:06:49,492 Aquaman-ify my movie. 138 00:06:50,202 --> 00:06:51,827 Billy, where are you? We're gonna come see you. 139 00:06:52,120 --> 00:06:53,454 Meet me at my girl's. I gotta go home 140 00:06:53,538 --> 00:06:55,331 and tell her I lost the rent money again. 141 00:06:55,499 --> 00:06:56,832 ARl: It's not true, Shauna! 142 00:06:56,917 --> 00:06:59,126 Tell "Variety" they can suck my balls, 143 00:06:59,211 --> 00:07:00,836 but clean it up. 144 00:07:03,340 --> 00:07:04,340 You Indian now, Lloyd? 145 00:07:05,675 --> 00:07:07,093 Jesus, you can see this? 146 00:07:07,511 --> 00:07:10,638 This lying is making me break out. God, and I have a date tonight! 147 00:07:10,931 --> 00:07:13,641 Well, I'm sure your date will pop that with his pecker, don't worry. 148 00:07:13,934 --> 00:07:15,684 Tell me why you came in here or get out. 149 00:07:15,769 --> 00:07:16,769 Barbara Miller's on three. 150 00:07:18,355 --> 00:07:20,439 Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. 151 00:07:20,524 --> 00:07:23,192 Now get out! Get out! I don't want to hear your bitch-ass whiny voice again. 152 00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:24,568 Do you understand? Go go go! 153 00:07:25,445 --> 00:07:28,614 - Hey, Babs, what are you wearin'? - We need to have lunch, Ari. 154 00:07:28,698 --> 00:07:30,032 The word is out and it's spreading. 155 00:07:30,242 --> 00:07:31,408 You mean that shit about you getting lipo? 156 00:07:31,493 --> 00:07:33,119 Don't worry about that. You know, from what I hear, 157 00:07:33,203 --> 00:07:35,412 Dr. Dessler's like a fucking Picasso with that knife. 158 00:07:35,497 --> 00:07:37,248 Wake up, Ari. I'm coming to you as a friend. 159 00:07:37,833 --> 00:07:39,125 People are mobilizing against you 160 00:07:39,209 --> 00:07:40,501 and you need to know what's going on. 161 00:07:40,585 --> 00:07:43,587 Now do you want a Caesar fucking salad or not? 162 00:07:48,343 --> 00:07:50,553 Let me call you back, Barbara. 163 00:07:51,638 --> 00:07:53,222 Speak, Lloyd. 164 00:07:53,974 --> 00:07:55,099 You're not talking? 165 00:07:57,352 --> 00:07:59,145 Rob Rubino's in the conference room. 166 00:08:00,939 --> 00:08:01,981 Terrance fucking fired him?! 167 00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:04,108 I did not say the "F" word. 168 00:08:04,693 --> 00:08:06,861 (WHIMPERING) My... I... we... 169 00:08:06,945 --> 00:08:09,071 I don't have the sk... the skill set... 170 00:08:09,156 --> 00:08:11,157 I can't understand you through the whimpering, Rob. Talk to me... 171 00:08:11,241 --> 00:08:13,909 - why did Terrance fire you? - Well, because he knows. 172 00:08:13,994 --> 00:08:15,035 - What does he know? - He knows, Ari. 173 00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:17,371 - They saw your name on my call sheet. - Fuck. 174 00:08:17,455 --> 00:08:19,290 And they escorted me out of the building. 175 00:08:19,374 --> 00:08:21,792 And then they gave everybody employment contracts 176 00:08:22,252 --> 00:08:24,336 and they had to sign them by 5:00 p.m. This afternoon 177 00:08:24,421 --> 00:08:26,505 saying that they wouldn't work for you. 178 00:08:26,590 --> 00:08:29,008 - What should I do? - I don't know! I don't know, 179 00:08:29,092 --> 00:08:31,677 but just stop fucking crying so I can think, okay? 180 00:08:34,055 --> 00:08:35,347 Call Barbara, tell her I'll go to lunch. 181 00:08:37,017 --> 00:08:40,186 You know, Eddie Burns offered me "Brothers McMullen." 182 00:08:40,312 --> 00:08:41,312 (RAP MUSIC PLAYING) 183 00:08:41,438 --> 00:08:44,565 True story. But I took a TV show instead. 184 00:08:45,317 --> 00:08:48,152 Was that when you did your full-frontal "Red Shoe Diary"? 185 00:08:48,236 --> 00:08:51,572 No, that's when I did my three-episode arc on "90210," 186 00:08:51,656 --> 00:08:54,158 sexually harassing Tori Spelling. 187 00:08:54,242 --> 00:08:55,242 Nice choice. 188 00:08:55,327 --> 00:08:57,119 (RAP MUSIC PLAYING) 189 00:09:00,290 --> 00:09:03,792 - ERIC: This can't be the right address. - Look, there he is. 190 00:09:09,007 --> 00:09:10,633 Walsh, what is this, your house? 191 00:09:10,967 --> 00:09:14,011 No, I'm house-sitting for my girl's folks. 192 00:09:14,095 --> 00:09:17,556 They made a fortune off ginseng and kombucha drinks. 193 00:09:17,641 --> 00:09:19,642 They won't let her see a dime of it though. 194 00:09:19,726 --> 00:09:22,603 I'm just praying they drop dead before they raise the estate tax. 195 00:09:22,729 --> 00:09:24,521 - How are you, Vince? - Good, good, how you doing? 196 00:09:24,606 --> 00:09:26,440 So, what... what happened to "Queens Boulevard"? 197 00:09:26,524 --> 00:09:28,442 - They butchered her. - They changed it? 198 00:09:28,526 --> 00:09:29,860 They murdered her. 199 00:09:29,945 --> 00:09:31,820 You wanna see the body? 200 00:09:34,616 --> 00:09:36,450 Take care of yourself. 201 00:09:37,285 --> 00:09:39,912 MAN: Hey, you ever coming back? 202 00:09:40,872 --> 00:09:42,289 You kidding? 203 00:09:42,874 --> 00:09:44,959 I am Queens Boulevard. 204 00:09:45,669 --> 00:09:47,544 (PROJECTOR RATTLING) 205 00:09:48,088 --> 00:09:49,338 Insane, ain't it? 206 00:09:49,464 --> 00:09:51,632 Looks more like Willy Wonka's factory than Queens. 207 00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:53,842 Now you see why I have to do what I have to do. 208 00:09:53,927 --> 00:09:55,552 How could they ruin a great movie like that? 209 00:09:55,804 --> 00:09:57,179 They're fucking animals 210 00:09:57,264 --> 00:09:59,056 and they need to be put to sleep. 211 00:09:59,140 --> 00:10:02,226 Sign the injunction with me and they'll know we ain't fucking around. 212 00:10:02,644 --> 00:10:04,603 - What do you think, E? - I think we should call Ari. 213 00:10:04,688 --> 00:10:07,273 One suit, two suit, three suit, four! 214 00:10:07,399 --> 00:10:09,066 Look, Billy, I'm with you, all right? 215 00:10:09,150 --> 00:10:10,317 But we have to talk to somebody first 216 00:10:10,402 --> 00:10:12,194 before we just sign an injunction. 217 00:10:12,279 --> 00:10:14,530 Can't afford to be pissing off another studio right now. 218 00:10:15,699 --> 00:10:16,657 - Pussy. - Asshole. 219 00:10:16,741 --> 00:10:18,701 All right, guys, chill. 220 00:10:19,953 --> 00:10:21,203 Call Ari. 221 00:10:23,290 --> 00:10:26,458 So who's picking up the tab on this little chow-down? 222 00:10:26,543 --> 00:10:28,377 Relax, Ari, my treat. 223 00:10:32,966 --> 00:10:34,591 (PHONE RINGING) 224 00:10:35,051 --> 00:10:36,343 (BEEPS) 225 00:10:38,388 --> 00:10:39,930 Greetings, Ari. 226 00:10:42,392 --> 00:10:43,392 (SIGHS) 227 00:10:43,560 --> 00:10:45,019 I always knew that you liked dick, Babs. 228 00:10:45,103 --> 00:10:47,146 I just didn't know you were a cocksucker. 229 00:10:47,230 --> 00:10:49,064 Please, join us. 230 00:10:51,776 --> 00:10:53,235 It's like a meeting of the five families. 231 00:10:53,570 --> 00:10:56,655 Maybe I should've had a gun taped up in the bathroom stall. 232 00:10:57,407 --> 00:10:58,365 Look, all the majors are here... 233 00:10:58,450 --> 00:11:01,243 CAA, UTA, ICM, Endeavor, William Morris. 234 00:11:02,287 --> 00:11:03,787 Who the fuck invited APA? 235 00:11:05,749 --> 00:11:08,125 - There it is. - There's no spots. 236 00:11:08,501 --> 00:11:11,045 Just pull up in the red, I'll go grab one. 237 00:11:11,129 --> 00:11:12,629 All right. 238 00:11:16,760 --> 00:11:19,428 Cafe latte, $4.50. 239 00:11:19,512 --> 00:11:21,847 Well, actually, I'm on my 10th purchase, 240 00:11:21,931 --> 00:11:23,724 paid for the last nine, 241 00:11:23,808 --> 00:11:25,267 so you'll be paying for that, bad boy. 242 00:11:25,435 --> 00:11:27,561 Actually, I won't, 'cause we don't take those anymore. 243 00:11:28,271 --> 00:11:29,271 What do you mean? 244 00:11:29,647 --> 00:11:30,689 Too many people were counterfeiting them, 245 00:11:30,774 --> 00:11:32,983 so we stopped. 246 00:11:33,068 --> 00:11:36,779 Well, unfortunately, the only form of currency I have is that card, 247 00:11:36,863 --> 00:11:39,490 so either you accept that card or you're gonna have to eat that drink. 248 00:11:40,408 --> 00:11:41,450 I'm not gonna have to eat anything. 249 00:11:42,077 --> 00:11:43,869 Anybody ordering a cafe latte? 250 00:11:43,953 --> 00:11:46,330 - Right here. - Hey, wait, wait, hold on, hold on. 251 00:11:46,414 --> 00:11:48,624 That... that's my drink. 252 00:11:48,708 --> 00:11:50,459 Get me the manager. 253 00:11:51,127 --> 00:11:52,544 Yeah, well, you tell Ari when you find him 254 00:11:52,629 --> 00:11:55,255 - that he needs to call me back. - LLOYD: I will indeed. 255 00:11:55,757 --> 00:11:58,550 - ERIC: Ari's M.I.A. - What the fuck is he so busy with? 256 00:11:58,635 --> 00:12:00,260 Press conference is in three hours. We can't be sitting 257 00:12:00,345 --> 00:12:02,388 - on our asses doing nothing. - Attaboy, Vince. 258 00:12:02,472 --> 00:12:04,890 Well, fuck Ari! Fuck this injunction. 259 00:12:04,974 --> 00:12:07,267 - Let's handle this ourselves. - VINCE: What do you have in mind? 260 00:12:07,352 --> 00:12:08,685 I got Jamie Burke's number from Lloyd. 261 00:12:08,770 --> 00:12:12,314 Don't waste your minutes. I already called. They ain't seeing nobody. 262 00:12:12,482 --> 00:12:14,691 Well, if they ever want to do another movie with Vince, they'll see us. 263 00:12:15,819 --> 00:12:18,779 I like your newfound balls, suit. 264 00:12:19,155 --> 00:12:21,073 My rapper's signing a big deal this month, 265 00:12:21,157 --> 00:12:23,742 but I still have time to handle Vince as well. 266 00:12:23,827 --> 00:12:24,993 (MUFFLED YELLING) 267 00:12:25,412 --> 00:12:26,662 TURTLE: Aw, shit. 268 00:12:26,871 --> 00:12:28,872 Excuse me. Can you leave your number on the windshield? 269 00:12:28,957 --> 00:12:30,165 Yeah. 270 00:12:31,501 --> 00:12:33,168 I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave. 271 00:12:33,461 --> 00:12:35,921 And I'm afraid I'm going to have to say no, 272 00:12:36,005 --> 00:12:39,800 'cause I ain't going anywhere until I get my free cup of coffee! 273 00:12:40,385 --> 00:12:42,219 Jesus Christ, Drama! What the fuck? 274 00:12:42,637 --> 00:12:44,430 They discontinued my free coffee card. 275 00:12:44,514 --> 00:12:47,683 Listen, pal, I'll buy you the lousy $3 cup of coffee. 276 00:12:48,184 --> 00:12:49,935 You really want to get involved in this, dickhead? 277 00:12:50,019 --> 00:12:51,812 Drama, Drama, come on, come on! 278 00:12:52,355 --> 00:12:53,355 You don't need any more coffee. 279 00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:55,149 You're wired up enough as it is. 280 00:12:55,233 --> 00:12:57,276 You only got 15 minutes to get to Ed Burns. 281 00:12:59,112 --> 00:13:01,864 Fuck it. Fuck all of you! 282 00:13:01,948 --> 00:13:03,574 I'm gonna go get me a pilot! 283 00:13:03,658 --> 00:13:06,452 But I will be back and you will give me a free cup of coffee. 284 00:13:06,619 --> 00:13:08,454 Oh, fuck, the car! 285 00:13:11,416 --> 00:13:14,001 Hey! Hey! 286 00:13:14,085 --> 00:13:16,170 Hey, come back here! 287 00:13:16,254 --> 00:13:18,338 Turtle, call a cab! 288 00:13:18,423 --> 00:13:21,550 Come on, Ari, you really think we haven't been watching you? 289 00:13:21,759 --> 00:13:23,010 I don't know. Have you been watching me? 290 00:13:23,094 --> 00:13:25,179 Yes, we have. And we know what you've been up to. 291 00:13:25,263 --> 00:13:27,014 - What have I been to? - MAN: Why don't you tell us? 292 00:13:27,223 --> 00:13:28,599 Why should I tell you if you already know? 293 00:13:28,683 --> 00:13:29,683 (ALL YELLING) 294 00:13:29,767 --> 00:13:31,602 All right, come on, this is getting us nowhere here. 295 00:13:31,686 --> 00:13:34,563 Let me just say this... I've known you for 20 years. 296 00:13:34,939 --> 00:13:36,064 - Yeah. - I always knew 297 00:13:36,149 --> 00:13:39,276 that you were a smug little rat with grand aspirations. 298 00:13:39,652 --> 00:13:41,487 That's why it was such a shock to me to see you 299 00:13:41,571 --> 00:13:44,198 sitting in that little boutique agency of yours 300 00:13:44,282 --> 00:13:45,491 for the last nine months. 301 00:13:45,575 --> 00:13:47,743 But I guess... I've seen this before... 302 00:13:47,827 --> 00:13:49,745 it's all a ruse in your master plan. 303 00:13:50,580 --> 00:13:51,747 Master plan? 304 00:13:52,957 --> 00:13:55,459 Look, Ari, simply put, 305 00:13:55,543 --> 00:13:58,253 we're here to assure you that the eight of us 306 00:13:58,338 --> 00:14:00,506 who represent most of the power in this town 307 00:14:00,590 --> 00:14:02,883 are lined up to say 308 00:14:02,967 --> 00:14:05,177 that if you go near one of our clients 309 00:14:05,261 --> 00:14:06,428 or one of our agents 310 00:14:06,513 --> 00:14:10,015 or even one of our highly-prized mailroom boys, 311 00:14:10,099 --> 00:14:12,100 we will all come down on you 312 00:14:12,185 --> 00:14:14,394 with the wrath of 10,000 suns. 313 00:14:15,063 --> 00:14:16,021 You know what's interesting... 314 00:14:16,105 --> 00:14:17,898 (CLEARS THROAT) about that... 315 00:14:17,982 --> 00:14:20,776 is that you used the words 316 00:14:20,860 --> 00:14:22,986 "master plan" and "rat" 317 00:14:23,071 --> 00:14:26,281 when talking about me, you Hitler-loving, anti-Semitic cunt-bag. 318 00:14:26,533 --> 00:14:28,700 - (GROANS, CHATTERING) - ARl: I can only hope, 319 00:14:28,785 --> 00:14:31,954 that 50% of the power at this table is as offended as I am. 320 00:14:32,080 --> 00:14:34,456 Ari! Is it true? 321 00:14:34,541 --> 00:14:36,583 MAN: Come on. Yes or no. 322 00:14:42,048 --> 00:14:43,840 Okay, you got me. I'm setting up my own shop. 323 00:14:43,967 --> 00:14:45,717 - (GRUNTS, GROANS) - Thank you, thank you. 324 00:14:45,802 --> 00:14:48,053 Ari Gold is back and gonna be bigger than ever. 325 00:14:48,304 --> 00:14:51,056 But I assure you, and I swear this 326 00:14:51,140 --> 00:14:53,225 on my children's names, 327 00:14:53,309 --> 00:14:54,893 I have no intention 328 00:14:54,978 --> 00:14:58,647 of going after any of your clients or your agents. 329 00:14:59,148 --> 00:15:01,233 - Only his. - Really, Ari? 330 00:15:01,526 --> 00:15:02,568 Really, Terrance. 331 00:15:02,652 --> 00:15:05,404 And with whose money do you plan on funding all this, Ari? 332 00:15:05,488 --> 00:15:07,072 Yours, you cockney fuck. 333 00:15:07,156 --> 00:15:08,782 You signed the settlement papers, didn't you? 334 00:15:08,950 --> 00:15:10,242 Yes. 335 00:15:10,326 --> 00:15:12,327 But I didn't sign any checks and I won't. 336 00:15:13,746 --> 00:15:16,915 Ari, I'll happily spend $50 million over the next 10 years 337 00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:20,168 to make sure that you don't even get a dime today. 338 00:15:23,673 --> 00:15:26,717 Call everyone on that list. Emergency Hamlet session, now! 339 00:15:26,968 --> 00:15:29,094 - Ari, Vince and E called twice. - (PHONES RINGING) 340 00:15:29,178 --> 00:15:31,722 - And they do not seem happy. - I will call them back, Lloyd. 341 00:15:31,806 --> 00:15:35,225 Did you not fucking hear me? This is not a drill. This is an emergency! 342 00:15:35,518 --> 00:15:37,185 Well, who's going to man the phones? 343 00:15:37,562 --> 00:15:39,229 Fuck the phones, Lloyd! 344 00:15:39,314 --> 00:15:42,608 Unless Carmen Electra calls for an emergency titty-fuck, 345 00:15:42,692 --> 00:15:43,692 don't answer! 346 00:15:44,027 --> 00:15:45,444 82% excellent. That's pretty good. 347 00:15:47,614 --> 00:15:50,282 It's more than pretty good. That's "Greek Wedding" good. 348 00:15:50,366 --> 00:15:51,700 And what these test scores tell us 349 00:15:51,784 --> 00:15:54,036 is that black-and-white is depressing. 350 00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:56,288 - People want color. - Why have those eyes 351 00:15:56,372 --> 00:15:59,499 - if people can't see 'em, Vince? - They might as well be brown. 352 00:15:59,584 --> 00:16:02,210 I didn't make this movie to show off my eye coloring. 353 00:16:02,587 --> 00:16:05,005 Vince, you not only look great in the movie, 354 00:16:05,089 --> 00:16:07,591 you are... great in the movie. 355 00:16:08,259 --> 00:16:11,053 And with this version we will attract a much broader audience. 356 00:16:11,137 --> 00:16:13,597 And isn't that what making movies is all about? 357 00:16:13,806 --> 00:16:15,641 Well, actually, I mean, it's an art film. 358 00:16:15,725 --> 00:16:17,809 The only way you know it's good is if most people hate it. 359 00:16:17,894 --> 00:16:20,979 I'm sorry, but we are not in the business 360 00:16:21,064 --> 00:16:23,857 of having people hate our movies. 361 00:16:23,941 --> 00:16:26,526 Guys, I love your passion, 362 00:16:26,611 --> 00:16:29,863 but trust me, there's nothing unartistic about making money. 363 00:16:33,034 --> 00:16:34,660 You're driving like a snail. 364 00:16:35,161 --> 00:16:37,037 - I could run faster than this. - All right, you know what? 365 00:16:37,121 --> 00:16:38,330 We're here. Go get 'em. 366 00:16:38,414 --> 00:16:40,666 - I'm 20 minutes late. - So run! 367 00:17:10,113 --> 00:17:12,531 All right! Great news. 368 00:17:12,615 --> 00:17:15,242 The Gold Standard Agency will be starting its expansion 369 00:17:15,326 --> 00:17:17,703 ahead of schedule. Instead of September 1, 370 00:17:17,787 --> 00:17:19,454 we are going to be starting today. 371 00:17:20,289 --> 00:17:22,165 - Yeah! - (CHEERING) 372 00:17:23,876 --> 00:17:25,127 Slight problem, though. 373 00:17:25,211 --> 00:17:27,254 None of you will be getting paid for about six months. 374 00:17:27,505 --> 00:17:28,880 - WOMAN: What? - (GROANING, MURMURING) 375 00:17:28,965 --> 00:17:31,216 People, come on. The first year at Google 376 00:17:31,300 --> 00:17:32,551 they paid their staff with paper clips. 377 00:17:32,927 --> 00:17:35,887 Now the guy that scrubbed the toilets has got a billion five. 378 00:17:35,972 --> 00:17:37,848 Who's with me? Come on, anybody? 379 00:17:39,517 --> 00:17:41,643 - I'm with you, Ari. - Like you've got a fucking choice. 380 00:17:41,978 --> 00:17:44,312 - Anybody else? Who's with me? - This is bullshit, Ari. 381 00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:46,231 MAN: You cannot be serious. MAN 2: You told us... 382 00:17:46,399 --> 00:17:48,108 we had papers put in front of us today. 383 00:17:48,192 --> 00:17:50,569 - Come on, everybody, listen. - I have a choice. 384 00:17:50,653 --> 00:17:52,738 (ALL GRUMBLING, SHOUTING) 385 00:17:53,906 --> 00:17:56,783 A little bit of patience, you guys, please. 386 00:17:56,868 --> 00:17:58,368 Come on, you gotta... 387 00:18:01,330 --> 00:18:03,915 Hey, Babs, the Traitorous Skanks Anonymous meeting's next door. 388 00:18:05,793 --> 00:18:07,169 Let's talk. 389 00:18:14,844 --> 00:18:17,304 I can't believe that you set me up after all I've done for you... 390 00:18:17,388 --> 00:18:18,889 Ari, I needed to see your cards. 391 00:18:19,015 --> 00:18:21,057 - You've seen 'em. - How much do you need? 392 00:18:22,643 --> 00:18:25,437 - What?! - Come on, I want to be partners. 393 00:18:25,521 --> 00:18:26,938 - Why? - Because I believe in you. 394 00:18:27,356 --> 00:18:29,149 And because I can't work with my ex-husband anymore. 395 00:18:29,233 --> 00:18:30,484 No shot, this is my deal. 396 00:18:30,818 --> 00:18:33,487 Ari, you have no money and I have too much. 397 00:18:33,571 --> 00:18:34,988 - So what do you want? - To fuck. 398 00:18:37,533 --> 00:18:38,575 (SNICKERS) 399 00:18:38,659 --> 00:18:39,785 Kidding. 400 00:18:39,869 --> 00:18:41,870 I want 60% and my name on top. 401 00:18:41,954 --> 00:18:43,872 - I'd rather fuck. - 55. 402 00:18:44,457 --> 00:18:45,540 - 45. - 51. 403 00:18:45,625 --> 00:18:46,666 49. 404 00:18:56,010 --> 00:18:57,803 (ARI CLEARS THROAT) 405 00:18:57,970 --> 00:19:00,222 Ladies and gentlemen, 406 00:19:00,306 --> 00:19:02,015 I present to you, 407 00:19:02,099 --> 00:19:04,476 Miller-Gold! Huh? 408 00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:06,603 (CHEERING) 409 00:19:07,563 --> 00:19:09,689 We sound like a fuckin' beer. 410 00:19:10,441 --> 00:19:13,235 - (SIGHS) - This was the one, Turtle. 411 00:19:13,319 --> 00:19:15,028 I'm officially a loser. 412 00:19:15,112 --> 00:19:17,906 I don't know about "officially." 413 00:19:17,990 --> 00:19:19,574 What do you want me to say, Drama? 414 00:19:19,659 --> 00:19:21,535 You gotta get the temper under control. 415 00:19:21,619 --> 00:19:23,161 - Yeah. - You gotta know that. 416 00:19:23,246 --> 00:19:26,665 I do, I do. In fact, I was thinking about taking that anger management thing 417 00:19:26,749 --> 00:19:29,376 - the judge recommended last year. - You should. 418 00:19:29,460 --> 00:19:31,086 (PHONE RINGING) 419 00:19:34,924 --> 00:19:36,800 - Hello? - Johnny Drama, Eddie Burns. 420 00:19:37,969 --> 00:19:39,511 - Eddie? - BURNS: Yeah, hey, look... 421 00:19:39,595 --> 00:19:40,971 - Burns? - I've been trying to get your number 422 00:19:41,055 --> 00:19:43,765 for over an hour, but nobody's picking up the phone at your agency. 423 00:19:43,975 --> 00:19:45,350 (STAMMERS) Really? 424 00:19:45,434 --> 00:19:47,561 Yeah, listen, I'm sorry I had to bail on you today. 425 00:19:47,645 --> 00:19:49,771 I got an emergency and I'm off to New York. 426 00:19:51,065 --> 00:19:54,025 - So you weren't at your office? - No. 427 00:19:54,110 --> 00:19:56,444 Christ, I was standing out there for like an hour. 428 00:19:56,529 --> 00:19:58,029 Well, look, I'm... I'm real sorry, 429 00:19:58,114 --> 00:20:00,323 but I want to talk to you about this thing I'm shooting. 430 00:20:00,408 --> 00:20:02,951 Hey, look, Eddie, I know I can do this. 431 00:20:03,202 --> 00:20:04,911 I know you can do it too, Drama. 432 00:20:04,996 --> 00:20:06,788 Truth is, I really just wanted to see you today 433 00:20:06,873 --> 00:20:09,040 to make sure you hadn't aged too badly. 434 00:20:09,125 --> 00:20:10,876 Aged? Me? Come on! 435 00:20:11,419 --> 00:20:13,753 I carded at Barney's Beanery Thursday night. 436 00:20:13,838 --> 00:20:15,672 Okay okay, Drama. So you'll do this? 437 00:20:16,841 --> 00:20:19,801 Are you offering this to me? I don't have to audition or nothing? 438 00:20:20,052 --> 00:20:22,888 Drama, you did something for me when you passed on "Brothers McMullen." 439 00:20:23,180 --> 00:20:24,973 - I didn't pass. - Drama, come on. 440 00:20:25,474 --> 00:20:28,018 You passed to do a little arc on "90210," it's cool. 441 00:20:28,311 --> 00:20:30,103 I ended up having to put myself in the movie, 442 00:20:30,187 --> 00:20:31,897 - changed my whole life. - (CHUCKLES) 443 00:20:31,981 --> 00:20:34,024 - Awesome. - All right, so I'll see you on set. 444 00:20:34,358 --> 00:20:35,984 Okay, thanks. 445 00:20:39,530 --> 00:20:41,489 I just got a pilot. 446 00:20:42,783 --> 00:20:44,784 Yes! Yeah! 447 00:20:45,828 --> 00:20:47,370 Victory! 448 00:20:47,455 --> 00:20:49,331 And anger management? 449 00:20:49,415 --> 00:20:50,999 Fuck anger management. 450 00:20:51,542 --> 00:20:53,168 WOMAN: Well, after seeing a cut of the film, 451 00:20:53,461 --> 00:20:55,170 we instantly fell in love with it. 452 00:20:55,796 --> 00:20:57,797 From the moment the end credits rolled, 453 00:20:58,215 --> 00:21:00,342 it was obvious to me... 454 00:21:00,426 --> 00:21:03,595 - Did you get it, Johnny? - Yep. 455 00:21:03,679 --> 00:21:05,805 - It's easier than I thought. - Congratulations, Drama. 456 00:21:05,890 --> 00:21:07,390 Thanks, bro. 457 00:21:07,475 --> 00:21:10,477 - There you are, Vincent. - Jesus, I thought you abandoned me. 458 00:21:10,561 --> 00:21:12,270 Never. I came as fast as I could. 459 00:21:12,480 --> 00:21:13,730 They're about to introduce you. 460 00:21:13,814 --> 00:21:15,523 Right. Look, I love you. 461 00:21:15,608 --> 00:21:17,150 Don't worry, I think I got this handled. 462 00:21:17,902 --> 00:21:20,195 - You cool with this? - You gotta do what you gotta do. 463 00:21:20,279 --> 00:21:21,988 TURTLE: What's he gotta do? SHAUNA: Yeah, what's he gotta do? 464 00:21:22,073 --> 00:21:24,199 - You'll see. - Oh, great. 465 00:21:24,951 --> 00:21:27,035 MAN: A great young talent. 466 00:21:27,119 --> 00:21:30,038 Ah, these motherfuckin' pieces of shit. 467 00:21:30,122 --> 00:21:34,042 I'm gonna fuckin' hit somebody, there's no fuckin' doubt in my mind. 468 00:21:34,126 --> 00:21:35,585 Go lightly, Billy. Life is short. 469 00:21:36,170 --> 00:21:37,796 Go fuck your mother, Drama. 470 00:21:40,049 --> 00:21:42,676 - Where you been? - What, is there a problem? 471 00:21:42,760 --> 00:21:45,136 The house is packed, our boy is looking great. 472 00:21:45,221 --> 00:21:46,846 You know Barbara, right? 473 00:21:46,931 --> 00:21:48,014 Hey. 474 00:21:49,684 --> 00:21:50,684 See all these cameras? 475 00:21:50,977 --> 00:21:53,144 ARl: Each one represents a million dollars overseas. 476 00:21:53,229 --> 00:21:55,063 - Cha-ching. - ERIC: I don't think so, Ari. 477 00:21:55,231 --> 00:21:57,148 Oh yeah? Why not? 478 00:21:57,233 --> 00:21:59,609 - WOMAN: Ladies and gentlemen... - What? Speak. 479 00:21:59,694 --> 00:22:03,238 ...to introduce to you now the star of "Queens Boulevard," 480 00:22:03,489 --> 00:22:06,074 - Mr. Vincent Chase. - (CROWD APPLAUDING) 481 00:22:06,492 --> 00:22:08,201 - (YELLING, CHEERING) - Vinnie! 482 00:22:08,285 --> 00:22:10,245 Thank you. 483 00:22:10,621 --> 00:22:13,081 "Queens Boulevard" is a masterpiece. 484 00:22:13,165 --> 00:22:14,290 And I'm not just saying that 485 00:22:14,375 --> 00:22:16,292 because I'm in it or to sell you. 486 00:22:16,669 --> 00:22:19,421 I'm saying it because I really truly believe it. 487 00:22:19,505 --> 00:22:22,007 Unfortunately, you'll never see the film I'm talking about, 488 00:22:22,675 --> 00:22:25,176 because these people up here, these execs, 489 00:22:25,261 --> 00:22:26,678 ripped out its soul. 490 00:22:27,346 --> 00:22:30,056 Because like all studios in this town 491 00:22:30,141 --> 00:22:32,058 - they don't give a shit about art. - (REPORTERS CHATTERING) 492 00:22:32,309 --> 00:22:35,270 They only care about one thing... money. 493 00:22:35,855 --> 00:22:37,355 Fuck commerce! 494 00:22:37,606 --> 00:22:38,940 Any questions? Yes. 495 00:22:39,525 --> 00:22:42,068 Great start to the new company, huh? 496 00:22:44,530 --> 00:22:45,864 (ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)