(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
(RINGING CONTINUES)
(CLEARS THROAT) Hello?
Finally, I get you on the phone.
Why do agents love the 6:00 a.m. Wake-up call?
Why do managers sleep on the job?
- What's the problem, Amanda? - The problem is
I need an answer on "Glimpses" and you do not return my calls.
We called you back on Friday.
You left a message at my office at 10:00 p.m.
Who'd you think was going to answer, the janitor?
Sorry.
You guys are avoiding me and I don't like it.
- Listen, Amanda... - No, you listen, Eric.
I don't take kindly to the runaround.
I demand some face time with you and Vince
this morning at 10:00 a.m. At my office.
(BEEPS)
Amanda.
DRAMA: Who is she to demand anything?
- TURTLE: Doesn't she work for you, Vince? - Indeed, she does.
And hanging up on E? Must have been pretty emasculating, huh?
Felt like I was getting called down to Principal Reeve's office.
Just like him, I'm gonna tell her the way it is.
Please do, 'cause I don't like avoiding her.
No no no. No more avoiding.
We'll tell her we're not making a move
on anything until the cameras actually roll on "Medellin."
She'll be pissed if she thinks you're taking Ari seriously.
Then she's gonna be pissed, huh, E?
Oh, now Vince is emasculating E.
- Get the fuck in the car. - (LAUGHTER)
- Late again, Ari. - What, do I work for you?
No. But Rob Rubino still does.
- Why? - I'm on it.
He's dead weight.
He's booking 100 grand a quarter and costing us 150.
I want him gone. Do I need to do it myself?
I said I'm on it.
- Protein shake and a Power Bar. - Not hungry, Lloyd.
The missus said you didn't eat dinner again last night.
Why do you two talk so much?
- We like each other. - Just get Rob Rubino in my office,
and tell him to bring all of his worldly possessions.
Rob Rubino is off getting his Lasik surgery this morning.
When he's finished then.
When he's done, you will be at couples' therapy.
- No, Lloyd, no! - Yes, Ari, yes.
But I will have Rob Rubino waiting on the firing line upon your return.
AMANDA: This is bullshit. It's fucking absurd.
You guys told me that you wanted to work.
You told me to find a project,
and I found one, a great one,
that you loved and you still won't give me an answer.
We're very contemplative people.
Please don't give me that bullshit.
I don't want apologies.
I want only one thing... a fucking answer!
"Glimpses" is a great project
with a great director, so what is the problem?
I don't have a problem.
This is about "Medellin," isn't it?
No.
Ari is still in your fucking head.
- Amanda, no, he's not. - Ari doesn't exist anymore, Vince.
- I know. - Neither does "Medellin."
- It's a ghost, you understand? - Yes.
I understand.
Then I want an answer.
Don't flash those pretty eyes at me, Vince.
(LAUGHS)
I wasn't. I'm not.
My eyes aren't as pretty, but I wasn't either.
When can I have an answer?
How about today? Just let us read it one more time.
Okay, today. I'll be waiting.
I never heard Ari talk to Vince like that.
Yeah, seriously, we could hear the screaming right through the door.
- It was kinda hot. - Hot?
She bullied Vince into making a decision he didn't wanna make.
- Still hot. - I did not get bullied. I got finessed.
Call it what you want, we got reading to do.
Sucks for you guys, 'cause we got the Dodger game.
- And it's Bat Day. - Just for that I'm getting four copies,
you guys can read some Edith Wharton too.
Let us know what the retards of America think.
Vince.
You guys don't really wanna go to the game without us, do you?
- It's Bat Day, Vince. - Come on, keep me company.
It's not like the Yanks are in town.
- Or the Mets. - The Mets? Who cares about the Mets?
So do you feel depressed, Ari?
Depressed, no; irritated, yes.
He hasn't had a full meal in a week,
and he slept past 7:00 again this morning.
I haven't seen him sleep past 5:30 since 1993.
So do you think losing this Vincent Chase
is really the problem, Ari?
- No. - Yes.
What do you think the problem is then?
I don't think there is a problem.
Ask why he didn't go to the Lakers game last night.
Who said I wanted to go to the game?
You asked five times if you should have gone.
And five fucking times you didn't answer me.
"If you wanted to go, you should have gone," is not an answer.
- Is that an answer? - Did you wanna go, Ari?
He did, but he didn't go because he thought
- he might run into Vince again. - Ridiculous.
- Is it ridiculous? - What are you two, a fucking tag team?
I don't think that Vincent Chase should determine
where you go and don't go in this town.
He doesn't determine...
He's been in a funk since he got fired.
And then of course there was the birthday-party incident.
Everybody stop.
I didn't go to the Lakers game 'cause they were playing the fucking Bobcats.
And I came here today because I thought this was a session
on how my wife could learn to communicate,
how to answer a question without a question.
Basic Humanity 101.
Which I thought, given your wall of fucking diplomas,
you could easily fix. Or if you couldn't,
you could give her a pill that could either fix it or make her a mute.
But now, to turn around and gang up on me?
I have work to do. I have hundreds of clients to deal with.
And just so we're clear... I don't care about any of 'em.
They're all just a number.
Like wife number one, and therapist number seven.
Good day.
(DOOR SLAMS)
You're really only our fifth.
One for you, one for you,
and one for you.
This is a long script, E.
There's a reason I'm in TV now...
no more than 60 pages at a clip.
Maybe we should break it into four quarters. It'll be faster.
Just read it. I like that E's including everyone in the process.
We gotta process this quickly.
- We got four hours to decide. - On it, boss.
I'm going back down, read in peace. I'll be back in an hour.
He's strict.
Yeah well, now you got a strict agent and a strict manager.
- Enjoy that. - Yeah, but I'm still in charge.
One more dip before we dive in then?
ALL: Definitely.
(SQUAWKS)
- Are you coming back? - I am back, Lloyd.
I'm getting on the elevator now. Why, did you miss me?
No... I mean, yes. I do miss you,
but that's not why I'm calling.
Barbara had me place Rob Rubino in your office.
Oh... she just loves the smell of blood, doesn't she?
- What did you tell him? - Very little.
You know this sort of unpleasantness makes me uncomfortable.
Each time you do it, it gets a little bit easier, Lloyd. I'm coming right up.
Ruthless.
- BARBARA: Ari. - On it.
- When? - Right now,
but I know you like to watch, Babs, so come on in if you want a thrill.
- Hey, Rob. - Hey, there he is.
That's right, you had your little eye procedure today.
It's actually not a procedure, it was a real surgery.
They actually cut into my eyeball and then they lift the cornea.
It's still elective, though, right?
- Yeah. - Yeah, okay.
- Rob, listen... - Ari, I know why I'm here.
Oh, you do? That'll make it easier.
We go back a long way.
- Yeah, we do. - I mean, the Morris mailroom.
Remember the handshake, huh?
Here's the "W."
- Come on, Ari, gimme the "M." - I'm sorry, Rob.
Ari, Carrie left me.
She did? When?
About three months ago.
I haven't told anybody.
But that's why my work has been off.
Look, Ari, just try to understand what I'm dealing with here.
When she left, I felt like somebody
had pulled the rug from under me.
When I met her she had nothing.
Then she designs this pair of terrycloth sweatpants,
she puts a "J" on the ass and she's worth $50 million.
And now she's fucking the guy from the Chili Peppers.
It just... it hurts so much inside.
Don't fucking cry, Rob.
I can't cry, Ari.
My tear ducts will be permanently fucked if I do.
Jesus Christ.
Do you have any idea what it's like to lose somebody you really love, Ari?
Fuck fuck fuck!
Okay, don't hit me, Ari, please don't hit me.
Get back to your desk.
- Really? - Yeah.
- Thank you. - And do better.
I'm gonna do better, I promise. I'm gonna make you proud.
Thank you, Ari.
Thank you.
Where is my fucking assistant?
Right here, Mr. Rubino.
What the fuck was that, Ari?
A shot at redemption, Babs, you ever hear of it?
Not when I'm paying for the sins.
You were supposed to fire him,
not become his seeing-fucking-eye dog.
Partnership agreement states that we both have to agree on a dismissal.
I don't agree.
What the fuck is going on with you, Ari?
Nothing.
You're not you.
You're soft and weak and nice.
It's disgusting.
You really want the word to spread around town that you're a pussy?
Are you crying?
Yeah, I'm fucking crying. Get outta here, Babs.
Get the fuck outta here. Get out of here.
Lloyd, get Dr. Marcus on the phone.
Tell her it's an emergency.
You gotta be shittin' me.
Morning, E.
I thought you loved the script.
Sometimes things don't hold up on a second reading, E.
I didn't get it at all. Why doesn't Vince bang the girl?
'Cause that's the way it was back then.
What are you saying, E? Guys didn't get pussy back in the day?
Don't be retarded, Turtle. Of course they did,
or none of us would be here.
- Did you like it, Johnny? - Couldn't get past page eight, bro.
What did you like about it the first time?
I liked that Amanda liked it.
- What did you like about it? - I liked that you liked it.
- I didn't really like it. - I didn't either.
- It was boring, right? - Totally, but you were so excited.
That's 'cause Amanda was excited. She got me excited.
- She knows how to sell. - I'd buy diseased fish from her.
- TURTLE: (LAUGHS) I'd eat it. - So it's a pass then.
- What are you gonna tell her? - You mean, what are we gonna tell her?
You're the one that told her you liked it in the first place.
Oh no, that's your job, manager. You're bad cop, always.
Yeah, manager, stop being such a puss.
Or at least let me be bad cop,
'cause I would love to interrogate Amanda.
Oh yeah.
(PHONE RINGING)
Dr. Marcus' office.
No, she's not in right now.
Okay.
Hi, can I help you?
Yeah, my name is Ari Gold. I'm a patient here.
Yes, I know, your office has called several times.
- Where's the doc? - Dr. Marcus is out Monday afternoons.
She takes some much-deserved personal time.
I need to talk to her right now.
- Is this an emergency? - Yeah.
- Are you suicidal? - No.
- Any thoughts of suicide? - Uh, no.
Well, you look like you've been crying.
Fuck you.
You can call back after 5:00 to schedule an appointment.
I'm prepared to write you a check for $5,000 if you tell me where she is.
(THUNKS)
Oh, that is freaking gorgeous.
You think I can get on the celebrity tour?
If you were a celebrity.
My show airs in three weeks, Turtle. My time is coming.
- VINCE: Yo. - Yo, did you get her?
Oh, I got her.
How'd it go?
Judging by the look on his face, not well.
She wants the three of us to have dinner.
Jesus, E. You just can't close this broad?
If this was Ari, you would have told him no,
- and we'd be eating a Dodger dog. - Kid's right.
She yelled at me again. What was I supposed to say?
What would you say if Ari yelled at you?
- Oh, he'd tell Ari to fuck off. - True that.
I think they're right. You're soft on her.
And you were real tough this morning, Vince.
You're both pussies, okay?
And this is the problem with having a hot-looking agent.
That's the problem with hot-looking women in the workplace in general.
They should be barred, 'cause no man can say no to them.
You should run for president on that one, Drama.
- You can't run on the truth, E. - The truth, Johnny,
is that tonight the boys from Queens are gonna set a hot woman straight,
for real this time.
(SIGHS) Can't send boys to do men's work.
But good luck to youse, both of you.
If I birdie this hole, I get to blow your husband, Jane.
If he's okay with it, so am I.
Well, this guy's got his head up his ass.
ARl: Hold on, I just need a word.
Ari, what are you doing here?
- I need a sec, Doc. - Jesus.
- Come, for one... I need you... - No, not now.
- I need you, Doc, please. - Ari...
Doc, Doc...
I would blow him.
This is personal time, Ari.
I have a rule not to have my personal time interrupted.
Dangers of belonging to the same club as patients.
This is completely inappropriate.
Doc, I am melting down.
Okay. I'll give you five minutes.
- What's going on? - I don't know. I'm not me.
My wife is right. It is about Vince.
Ari, even in a professional relationship where there's no sexual component,
there's a sense of loss after a breakup.
A period of mourning, if you will.
How long does it last? 'Cause it's affecting my work.
How so?
I couldn't fire someone today. Firing people is one of my favorite things.
It's a perk of my job. I couldn't do it.
All because this little fuck
gave me some song and dance about his wife leaving him.
- So you felt compassion? - Yeah.
Last week, all I had to do was let my assistant
perform just one more of the many gay acts that he's performed in his life.
It would have made me millions of dollars. I couldn't do that either.
So you felt protective over someone else.
Yeah, and it made me sick.
Ari, these are good things.
- Sounds like you're evolving. - I don't want to evolve.
I want to get back to me. I like me.
Ari, it will take months of extensive therapy, maybe even years,
for you to get comfortable with the direction you're heading.
I don't want to head in that direction, Doc.
I want my edge back. I need my anger and I need it now.
I'm making a run at the course record.
I want you to call my office, make an appointment.
Trust me, this is exciting progress.
Doc, don't leave me here. We... uhh...
Boundaries, Ari,
adhere to them, please.
You shitty dime-store therapist.
A man's life is on the line here
and all you give a fuck about is beating some stupid club record
that will do what for you? Give you five minutes of pleasure
while you fuck your underpaid emasculated husband tonight?
How the fuck does he afford this place anyway?
Isn't he a guidance counselor at a high school?
That anger you were worried about...
- Yeah? - I think it's back.
Triggers, Ari, they can go both ways.
You can right now stop, work hard
and go in a direction to make yourself a decent
positive member of society... like my husband...
or you can go back to the lowlife narcissistic grunt
I've watched berate his wife for a year and a half in my office.
I knew you were on her side.
It's your choice, Ari.
Sorry.
He's not in there.
Why would he be in his office at 3:00? Where is he?
Conference room.
Okay, I believe that that is an "L."
- It is in fact an "L." - (APPLAUDING)
Can you believe six hours ago I couldn't even read a stop sign?
- Test me again. I want to go smaller. - Smaller?
Great work, Rob. Great work.
See if you can read this.
You're fired! And in case your ears are fucked,
(SHOUTS) get the fuck out!
And the next person I see juggling,
tap-dancing or baton twirling
or doing any other circus-like tricks
will join him. All right?
One-strike policy applies.
Now get back to work.
God damn, that felt good.
(LAUGHS)
- What happened to you? - Shock therapy, Babs.
Skip it, Ginny.
ERIC: We think it's a great script, Amanda, we really do.
It's a great script.
It's just not a great script for Vince.
- It's just not really for me. - I can't picture Vince on a horse.
And the British accent? Not feeling it.
Please don't get mad.
Don't get mad, Amanda. You understand, right?
I don't understand. Three weeks ago it was for you.
Three weeks ago I didn't hear any problems with the horse or the accent.
What's changed besides the appearance of Ari's receding hairline?
- It's not Ari. - It's really not Ari, Amanda, I swear.
Vince, I have never gotten angry at a client
because he told me he didn't like a script.
Why I am getting angry now... I'm sorry...
why I'm getting frustrated now
is because my client told me that he loved it,
had me set in motion plans to put him in it
and then pulled back at the last second.
So if not Ari, then why? Why did you tell me you love it?
It's because you loved it so much.
Okay.
And because you were so passionate when you sold it.
Okay.
And because I didn't want to disappoint you.
Vince, you're gonna have to be honest with me
if we're gonna be able to work together.
I agree completely.
But sometimes it's not so easy to say no to you.
Why, do you think I'm not going to listen?
It's because you're so cute.
I'm cute?
Yeah, you know, when you get all excited and amped up
and you furrow your brow, you're really cute.
You know?
Cute. You called her cute.
- Stop rehashing. - I couldn't believe my fucking ears.
What happened?
Yeah, did Mistress Amanda dominate you two again?
And did she wear latex?
No, Vince told her he thought she was cute.
You're changing context.
We're gonna be changing agents seeing that you basically
put it on the table that you want to fuck her.
DRAMA: Better than leaving it unsaid.
I wanted to fuck my old manager for years.
Never told her. Made the working environment intolerable.
- For you or for her? - This is so fucked.
E, do you not think Amanda already knew that Vince wanted to fuck her?
- I didn't know he wanted to fuck her. - Come on!
- We all want to fuck her. - She's Vince's agent.
Are you telling me when she came out this morning mouth blazing,
spit flying, power suit waving,
you didn't get a little excited?
I got a little excited.
That's nothing to be ashamed of, Vince.
All men love women filled with rage.
The bottom line is she's hot.
But once you put it out there it changes everything.
For guys like us, yeah.
For beautiful people like them, whole different set of rules.
- That's true. - Maybe I should apologize.
Maybe you should.
You just call yourself one of the beautiful people?
(PHONE RINGS)
Hello.
Vince, do you think I'm hot?
- What? - Well, you said I'm cute, right?
By cute did you mean I'm hot and you want to fuck me?
I don't know exactly how I should respond to that.
You had no problem telling me I'm cute in the middle of a business meeting,
so why don't you skip the politeness right now and tell me?
- Do you want to fuck me? - No.
No?
Well, I mean, yeah. I mean...
I don't know. Maybe.
I hate sexual tension, Vince. It always leads to confusion.
I couldn't agree more.
Well good. Then let's get it out of the way.
- How? - By fucking each other's brains out
and never talking about it again so we can move on
to a very successful and professional agent-client relationship.
- Sound good? - To me it does, yeah.
Great. See you in 20.
Okay.
Who was that?
Jewelry store girl. She's picking me up. I'd better get changed.
What do you want to do about Amanda?
I'll call her first thing tomorrow, apologize.
50 bucks he ends up banging her.
(POP MUSIC PLAYING)