(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
- I'm hungry. - Me too.
- Should I try to make us something? - I'm not that hungry.
- Drama's gotta be down soon, right? - Got to be.
Did you call about his car?
Be good as new by noon.
- Kid's gonna freak. - Totally.
- What are we eatin'? - Eh, that's a good question.
- Where's Drama? - Another good question.
- Sleeping probably. - Really? Wow.
Well, it's his big day.
He wants to sleep late, he should be able to sleep late.
I know. I'm hungry.
- You want me to make you something, E? - I ain't that hungry, Turtle.
All right, guys, let's not all panic.
He'll be down soon, so let's sit.
We'll talk,
wait it out together.
Sorry I overslept, fellas.
Who's hungry?
You all right, Drama? You look awful.
Eh... had a rough night.
DRAMA: Nobody looked at any reviews, did they?
You told us not to, so no.
There's one right here though, if you wanna take a peek.
No reviews!
- What are you worried about, Johnny? - I don't know.
I felt good about the show and all,
but now that it's actually airing...
The show is great, Drama. Just relax.
It really is, Drama, and this is coming
from someone who's never liked your work.
- You guys really like it? - Johnny, we really like it
and everyone else will too. So please relax.
Yeah, relax.
That's all I gotta do today,
just relax.
What the fuck was that?
DRAMA: If that isn't a sign, I don't know what is.
A sign of what?
A sign that my show is going down in flames.
Oh, don't get crazy.
A bird kills itselfjust to destroy my eggs, and I'm getting crazy?
God, I don't need another failure.
- (CLAPPING) - Oh, would you look at this?
This is so exciting. It's like when "The Warriors"
got back together at the end of the movie.
Don't tell me you whack off to "The Warriors." There they are,
a movie star and a TV star...
all in one family. Who would've thunk it?
Lloyd, don't tell me about any reviews,
'cause I don't wanna know.
Rest assured, I have had every "Variety" banished from the building.
Drama, it's NBC. They gave "Joey" 46 episodes,
They don't cancel shit. Trust me.
Movie star, the manager, in the big office.
LLOYD: Anyone need a drink?
- Get this guy a Scotch. - I'll grab some waters.
There's a "Variety" right there, Lloyd!
It's yesterday's, Drama.
- Oh. - Jesus, you're losing it, Drama.
Sit down.
- You wanna hit a rub-and-tug? - Now?
Yeah, I gotta shed some nerves.
Think I gotta wait for Vince and E, no?
All right, you do that.
- How are you gonna get there? - I'll call a cab.
Honey, do you mind calling me a cab, please? Thank you.
Before we jump into anything, I just wanna say
I am glad to have you guys back.
- We're not back, Ari. - Ari, we're not back.
I'm not following you.
- We want "Medellin." - It's all we've ever wanted.
- "Medellin" is dead. - E: Undead it.
- ARl: What is this, a test? - No, it's not a test.
Okay, look, let's just talk reasonably, okay?
Sometimes things just aren't meant to be.
Sometimes, no matter how bad you want something, you gotta let it go.
Senior year, all right,
I was obsessed with Katie Sherman... the most insane tits.
Anyway, the moment I found out that she gave half the football team crabs,
I was done. Never thought about it again.
You saying "Medellin" has crabs, Ari?
"Medellin" has crabs, gonorrhea, syphilis.
It is an untreatable supergerm.
This project has been plagued since day one.
Let it go.
The movie's in turnaround, Ari.
Find someone who can get it out. Or don't.
- VINCE: Great new offices. - Vinny... Vinny, wait.
Joe Roberts, the guy that offered you "Matterhorn," always loved you.
Deep pockets, has the power to make anything happen.
I will set up a lunch, but I can't promise anything.
Well, neither can we. See ya.
(R&B MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO)
Oh, there he is, the big TV star.
- Hey, Maxie. What's the haps? - You are.
You the talk of the whole shop.
Hope your show don't get canceled,
'cause everyone'll get real depressed around here.
Yeah, well, anyway, will you please tell Ruthie I'm here
and I'm in need?
Would love to, but Ruthie out of town.
Oh, no no, don't tell me that, not today.
Relax, Johnny. Ruthie's sister here filling in.
(SPEAKS MANDARIN)
Oh yeah. That'll work.
Hi there.
(ENGINE REVS)
- All right, see ya. - That's great. Appreciate it.
Hey, I'm here to pick up my car.
- I like your kicks. - Oh yeah?
I could take you to the only place in the city where you can get 'em.
I mean, you'd have to roll with me, of course.
- You like sneakers? - Let me go check on your car.
You, motherfucker, are early.
- You said 12:00. - I said 1:00.
Come on, Rufus, you said 12:00.
Well, now I'm saying 1:00, 2:30 the latest.
(SIGHS)
You wanna cry or you wanna wait?
- Can I wait near her? - That's my daughter, Turtle.
So no, you motherfucking cannot.
Liked you better when you were selling stereos.
JOE: What do I want with "Medellin," guys, huh?
It's somebody else's trash.
The movie's been at two studios, gone through three directors.
You know Haggis has moved onto another picture by now, right?
- No, we didn't know that. - Did you know that, Ari?
Yes, I knew that, Eric. The project is dead.
- Everyone's moved on but Pablo Escobar. - And us.
And you, you beautiful stubborn artist, you.
That is the point of this lunch.
Joe is gonna revive it.
Come on, pony up, Joe. Let's make this movie.
Guys, this movie is a three-hour epic bloodbath.
- It's got zero commercial appeal. - Respectfully, we disagree.
We think it could be like "Scarface," Joe.
"Scarface" was a bomb at the box office.
"Scarface" was ahead of its time.
"Medellin" isn't. "Medellin" is now.
Joe, think about it.
Pablo Escobar was an outlaw who terrorized a whole country
while remaining the biggest philanthropist
his people had ever known.
Now ask yourself this: In 2007,
in this country, what could possibly evoke
more of a stir than to explore the humanity
of that kind of evil?
You really wanna do this, Vince?
More than anything I've ever wanted to do in this business.
Hmm, Pablo Escobar, huh?
You don't think you're too skinny?
I could play Pablo Escobar.
(LAUGHING)
Sorry about this. I'm just a bit distracted.
I know, you taking over an hour.
Is there anything else I can do?
No, it's okay, just keep doing what you're doing.
What is it distracting you?
That.
I didn't know you had a subscription.
Ah, customer must have left it.
You can read if you think it will help.
No no. It won't help.
Maybe it'll help.
Oh my God. Oh my God.
Fucking Paul Schneider.
(MUTTERS) Schneider...
- Hey, what's up, Drama? - Hey, Lenny.
DRAMA: Fucking cocksucking piece of shit.
Taxi!
Take me to "Daily Variety," on the hop.
- What do you think of these? - Yeah, those are pretty cool,
but they're not as cool as the Fearless Warriors.
I mean, those were the best Air Force Ones ever made.
Yeah, that was a fly shoe,
but I like the Self Doubt color way better.
Well, actually, I'll tell you what's better than both of 'em...
the original Cartoons.
Yeah, those were hot.
Well, I happen to know that Cartoon's got new limiteds dropping next summer.
January, actually. And they'll be called the Cartoon New Years.
You know, you... you're very pretty,
you're just sadly very misinformed.
(LAUGHS)
Bet on it.
- Come on. - I don't bet with girls.
Hmm, chickenshit.
Turtle! Your fucking car is done.
Now go and get it, and then go.
All right, I'm going, I'm going.
(GIGGLES)
RUFUS: Hmm.
Whoo. That's beautiful.
- You did a great job, Rufus. - Yeah.
- With your daughter too. - Goodbye, Turtle.
- Bye, Rufus. - (HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING)
(CAR HORN HONKS)
Oh!
- What the fuck is wrong with you, man? - Come on.
DRIVER: Damn.
- RUFUS: God damn, that was stupid. - Shit.
JOE: Let me think about this, okay? Let me ponder it.
- I'll get back to you. - Thanks, Joe.
- E, it's a pleasure. - Nice to meet you.
- Joe. - It's been real, Ari.
- Thank you for lunch, buddy. - Take care, guys.
All right.
- Wow. - What?
I think I just saw the next 50 years of your life...
actor, activist, politician,
president. No, I mean, you were... you were passionate,
eloquent, succinct and intelligent
in a way I have never seen before.
It was like when a father sees his baby boy
become a man for the first time.
- Bravo. - Ari, that's sweet.
Stop kissing my ass and get it done.
You know what? It's getting done, baby, it's getting done.
- I can feel it. - Yeah, you've felt it before.
- VINCE: Too many times. - For all my past sins,
I will deliver.
I promise you, I will deliver.
Hey, asshole, where's my car? I gave you my ticket first.
- Paul Schneider's office? - Right, right, left, left.
- Is he expecting you? - I doubt it.
Excuse me.
Excuse me, do you know where Paul Schneider is?
- Over there. - Thank you. Paul Schneider!
Show yourself!
Where are you, Paul Schneider?
I'm sorry, I'm Paul's assistant.
Is there something I can help you with?
No, that's okay, I'll help myself.
- Schneider! - What the hell is this?
I tried to stop him. I'm sorry.
SCHNEIDER: It's all right, Ryan.
Johnny Chase. Looks like you read the paper.
I did. And I'm not leaving here until you tell me why.
Look, I just call it like I see it, Johnny, that's all.
You've had it in for me ever since I got out here.
15 years... you never gave me a good review, not once!
Did I try and fuck your wife or something?
Johnny, it's not personal, it's not.
I just... I just don't think you're very good.
Well, you're wrong.
You... you sad little fat hack fuck, you're wrong.
Well, then I guess every other review I've read is wrong too.
Other reviews?
- They're bad? - Sorry, John.
You know, maybe it's time to think about another line of work.
You're still young... relatively.
Turtle, there's no way I can get this done today.
Got way too many other jobs and not enough manpower.
Come on, Rufus. Look, this ain't even for me.
It's for Drama. You know Drama.
You know what a sad life it's been for him. All right?
But tonight we're hoping that all that sadness will go away.
That's a touching fucking story, Turtle,
but I got no men.
(SIGHS)
Daddy, L.C. Isn't doing anything.
Baby, L.C. Is eating lunch
and I don't go near L.C. When he's eating lunch.
Come on, Rufus. Please?
I'll bring him Mickey Ds every day for a year.
Dad, I'll ask him. He's nice to me even when he's eating.
Rufus, please.
Fine. Okay.
Kelly, thank you.
But he waits here where I can see him.
Okay.
Joe, what are you doing to me?
I'm not doing anything to you. I'm just doing good business.
That's weird, because it feels like you're taking a steel catheter
and shoving it right up my cock!
Ari, we were two weeks away from production on "Matterhorn"
when Colin broke his arm... two weeks!
Do you know what a devastating day that was for me?
Yeah, I do, Joe. We were playing golf over at Sherwood.
I thought you were gonna cry.
I wanted to make "Matterhorn" since I first came to the town in 1976.
It was called "Big Thunder Mountain" then.
That was before "Die Hard." You know why I wanted to make it?
Simply because it had monster potential.
It still has monster potential. You know that.
- I do know that, Joe, I do. - Good.
Then Vince makes "Matterhorn" for me.
- I make "Medellin" for him. - Joe...
he won't do that.
I mean, the kid's got principles.
But you don't have any, Ari.
So make it happen, quickly.
Joe.
Fucker.
- Where you going, Ari? - Vince's.
- Making a house call? - Yep.
Ooh, something is afoot.
(DOORBELL CHIMES)
- What's up, Ari? - Where's Vince?
I wanna tell you both the news.
Right here, Ari. Better be good news.
Do I ever give you anything but?
- Who wants to make "Medellin"? - Are you serious?
Not only that, but I have this.
What's that?
I am so good, not only did I get you your passion project,
but I got you your next big hit too.
- "Matterhorn"? - "Matterhorn." Boom!
Am I a fucking magician or what?
Yeah, you made a shitty project reappear.
Shitty? No, this is a good project.
- We were never into it. - I know, that's the thing.
The script has been changed more times
than Andy Dick's vibrator.
You will love it now, Vince, trust me.
I'm not interested in "Matterhorn," Ari.
Not even if I were to tell you that Joe Roberts said
if you do "Matterhorn" for him, he will do "Medellin" for you?
- Really? - Really.
- What's the catch? - There is no catch.
Which one goes first?
That's the catch. No thank you, Ari.
- Vince... - Ari, no no no.
Vince, Vince, Vince,
this is a good goddamn project.
I've been saying this to you since day one.
Why can't you just be reasonable?
Why can't you be reasonable and understand
that I don't care if "Matterhorn"
is the best project in the history of movies?
I want "Medellin." I've wanted it for two fucking years.
So until someone tells me that that will never happen,
that is the only thing I wanna do.
- It will never happen. - What?
Not without you doing "Matterhorn" first.
Why not?
Joe Roberts has put in an offer to buy "Medellin."
(SIGHS)
Wow. This guy L.C. Did an amazing job.
- Car looks good as new. - Again.
- Thank you very much, Kelly. - No problem.
Hey, there's a sale over at Undefeated this Saturday.
Kelly, go to the office.
I was just trying to make a little conversation, that's all.
Yeah, I would rather you didn't.
I'm one of the good guys, Rufus, all right?
You should know that.
Okay, I'm loyal. I work hard...
kinda.
And I respect the father-daughter bond.
That's why I'm asking you...
it's more like pleading with you...
all right, please, just give me permission to take out your daughter.
I'll treat her good. I'll pay for dinner and everything.
I'll even call you every hour,
give you an update.
You could even come, okay,
if it'll make you feel better.
Come on, man, what do you say?
I say I like your old-school nature, Turtle.
Thank you.
You got my permission,
although I doubt she'll say yes.
We'll see.
Kelly!
What's going on?
This young man wants to ask you something.
You want me to do this right in front of you?
You might as well get used to it.
(LAUGHS)
Okay.
All right...
I will bet you,
that those shoes come out next summer.
Yeah? What do you want to bet?
If I'm right, you go out with me.
And if you're wrong?
I go out with you.
(LAUGHING)
(SOUL MUSIC PLAYING)
I am so pissed.
It's Ari. Every time we get involved with this guy...
It's not Ari. It's this town.
These people buy scripts they don't even wanna make.
'Cause it's about control. The more they own, the more they control.
- We cannot let them control us. - Yeah, what can we do?
Tell you what: We can buy the script ourselves.
(ERIC LAUGHS)
I'm serious.
- You want to buy "Medellin"? - Yeah, why not?
Because as sick as it is, Vince,
I think I have more cash than you do.
Yeah, but I got something else.
- What? - This house.
You wanna sell the house to buy this script?
It's too big anyway. And if Johnny's show's a hit he'll be moving out.
You fucking crazy?
Maybe, but not crazy enough to let anyone control me.
Come on, I know this is the one.
So do you. We'll be producers.
(CHUCKLES)
Wanna roll the dice?
It's always worked out when we have.
Hasn't it?
$237,642.
- What's that? - Every penny I have in the world.
How do you know that exact number?
'Cause I'm weird like that. Whatever, I'm in.
That's a sweet gesture, but I can't let you.
Fuck that. If we go down, we're going down together.
- We're not going down. - No, we're not.
(FOOTSTEPS)
What's up, Drama?
I got every paper in the country.
How's it looking?
It's a bloodbath, bro.
Better call Ari.
You guys still mad at me?
E: Don't talk, Ari, just listen.
I don't wanna hear your thoughts.
I don't wanna hear your advice. I want you to make what Vince wants happen.
What does Vince want?
ARl: Come on, you don't like "Medellin," he doesn't like "Matterhorn."
Let's just go our separate ways, come on.
Are you saying Vince is gonna try to outbid me?
Did you tell this kid how much fucking money I have?
He doesn't care. He's fucking crazy.
You're right, he is fucking crazy.
So where does that leave us?
I'm not sure.
I have to decide how crazy I am.
- Joe? - I'll get back to you, Ari.
Joe.
(PHONE CLICKS)
DRAMA: "Johnny Chase walks around Hewlett Harbor
with the same vacant eyes that manned the decks of the Gokstad
in the short-lived, highly glorified 'Viking Quest."'
They're hitting my past now too.
You can't do this to yourself, Johnny.
I'm not doing it to me, Vince.
The universe is doing it to me.
That "The Post"?
Yeah.
What does it say?
Fuck this stuff, Drama.
Not my hometown paper.
- Johnny. - No wonder Mom hasn't called me today.
What does it say?
Here. I can't read it.
Just tell me, E.
The reviewer says he took one star off his review the minute you came on.
How many stars are left?
None.
That's great.
I get zero stars in my hometown paper.
Johnny.
Nah, there's nothing you can say, bro.
You don't know what it's like. And I'm a realist.
I knew the show had very little chance. None of 'em do.
But I thought I did good on this one.
And I tried so hard.
And I thought they'd see that, but they didn't.
(HORN HONKING)
- What the hell is that? - It's Turtle.
He's got something that'll cheer you up.
A gun?
Come on, Drama, you're gonna love this, I swear.
- DRAMA: Holy shit. - E: Wow.
Looks good.
- Yeah? How's this look? - What's that?
TURTLE: The phone number of the girl of my dreams.
I can't wait till you guys meet her. She's amazing.
- She's like me with tits. - Yeah, it sounds amazing.
So? What do you think?
I can't believe you guys did this.
It's only 'cause we love you, Drama.
Here come the waterworks.
You know, I've been wanting to fix this baby up
ever since I got out here,
but I never could afford it.
This car sums up my life
and my career in a nutshell.
- Johnny... - Nah, for real, bro.
It's a symbol of my failures.
And now with another one on my hands, again I needed my baby brother
to do for me what I could not do for myself.
Johnny, stop.
I do appreciate it, guys.
- Drama. - Come on, wait.
Where you going, Johnny?
Wherever the road takes me, Bro.
Nobody went up there and told you nothin'.
It's not the same anymore. It's different now.
It ain't just happening over there
and it ain't just happenin' over there.
It's happenin' here. It's happenin' everywhere...
- What do you think? - It's even better live.
- Shh! - Fuck reviews.
Oh, fuck 'em.
Not in my town.
Not in any of my five towns.
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
Try Johnny again, Turtle.
(PHONE RINGS)
That's probably him.
It's Ari.
Whaddaya got, Ari?
I got Joe Roberts. He's calling for Vinny.
Joe Roberts wants to talk to you.
About what?
- Hey, Joe. - Vince.
- Yeah. - I was a PA on "Apocalypse Now."
I watched Francis almost kill himself
to get that movie made. I watched him go bankrupt.
I watched him go mad, nearly.
And I idolized him for it. I never had the passion.
For me, it was always about the score.
You seem to have that passion, Vince.
But if you really don't have it, or if you can lose it, do.
Don't kill yourself.
At the end of the day, it's only a movie.
Good luck, Vince.
(PHONE CLICKS)
Hey, Vince.
Ari, I didn't totally follow that.
The movie is yours. You got it for $5,000,000.
The studio is into it for more than twice that,
but they're gonna settle.
Congratulations. You're the proud owner of 150 pieces of paper!
- Yeah, Daddy! - Thank you, Ari.
So what's next?
Next, you come in and you sign those agency papers. Right, big boy?
Yes. Right, Ari.
And then we go figure out where
to get the other 70 or so million dollars to make this movie.
Eh, it's gonna be easy.
(LAUGHS) I don't doubt it, Vinny. Good night.
We got it.
E: Congrats, buddy.
Now that it's real, are you sure?
100%. I mean, how hard can it be to produce?
This shoulda been a great night.
Try Johnny again, Turtle.
(BEEPING)
(WIND WHISTLING)
(MUSICAL BEEPS)
(GROANING)
- Yeah. - VINCE: Jesus, Johnny,
where the fuck have you been? I've been calling you all night.
This is not appropriate behavior for a guy your age.
Sorry, bro, I just needed a little radio silence.
We all have fucking problems, but what now?
I'm not getting breakfast again this morning?
I'll make breakfast for you, bro.
- Can you wait a little bit? - What's "a little bit"?
Uh, maybe eight hours or so?
Johnny, listen, if I have to get Turtle cooking lessons
because you're not feeling up for it anymore, I'm gonna need to know.
No, I'm there for you, bro.
Because I would be shocked if the star of a major TV show
decides he still wants to cook his little brother's breakfast.
- Ha ha! - What are you talking about, Vince?
Tell him, Lloyd.
It's a hit, Johnny Drama, it's a hit!
16,000,000 viewers.
Tops in the coveted 18-to-49 demo,
built from your lead in.
Don't fuck with me, Lloyd.
I am not fucking with you, Drama.
What about the reviews?
Fuck the reviews! The people have spoken,
and you, Johnny "Drama" Chase, are on a hit TV show!
- MEN: Congratulations! Way to go! - Holy fuck.
- Get your ass back. We're hungry! - I want pancakes!
All right, I'll be there as soon as I can.
Congratulations, Johnny!
- Love you, big brother. - Get back soon. We love you.
I love you guys too.
(SIGHS)
Thank you, God.
(SHOUTS) Victory!
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)