(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
TURTLE: Are we seriously not going out tonight?
- We seriously are not. - Come on, Vin.
- We need to go find some girls. - I got reading to do.
You've been reading all day. Look at your fingertips.
They're all sunburned from holding scripts over your face.
Give me a break, Turtle. There's still plenty to go.
Sorry. Drama!
You want to go find some ass?
(SILENT)
(SIGHS)
- Hi, Jaq. - Hey, Turtle.
- Bye, Turtle. - Bye, Jaq.
He's touchy.
(SIGHS)
(MOANING)
Sorry again.
30 awful scripts to get to one good one.
- VINCE: Yeah? - It's strong.
- Put it on the pile. - Nice. I like the new work ethic, Vince.
I don't.
Oh, I do love those tits.
You want to roll to The Villa tonight, E?
Who, just me and you?
Yeah, you're right.
I'll just catch a beat.
What? Not out here.
DRAMA: We're heading into Ari's office right now.
We'll be here for about 15 minutes then we'll go to lunch,
probably Urth Caffe, and then the gym.
Sports Club, not Gold's, cause I did my lats yesterday.
I'll do a steam, maybe a protein shake
and then I'll race home just in time to tuck you in.
Don't you worry, babe.
Oh, I miss you.
Okay. Tweet.
Bye.
What, do you tell her every detail of your day, Drama?
Yup. Jaqueline's the real jealous type.
So I got to make sure all my time is accounted for,
otherwise it's nag, nag, nag.
Sounds like a good relationship.
You've had a relationship, Turtle?
ARl: Look at this.
Like the good old days, huh?
Not quite. I've read scripts.
- ERIC: A lot of scripts. - You boys are maturing so nicely.
- Lloyd. - Thank you, Lloyd.
So, Vinnie, I need to formally apologize face to face for this Danger Beach thing.
- Ari, don't. - I thought it was real.
- We both did. - I don't care about that.
I'm here to move forward. I'll do any one of these scripts.
So he doesn't even have to talk anymore?
- No, I'm gonna mime. - (LAUGHS)
Look at this. What have we got?
Jarvik, about the guy who invented the artificial heart.
I sent it to you when you were in Colombia.
- Never heard back from you. - We were working.
So were they on getting a lead actor.
And they got one, Tobey Maguire.
Leo's doing The Merchant of Venice Beach.
Wahlberg's doing Milk Bar. Nine Brave Souls...
Maser and Baird. I don't know what this is.
- I've never heard of these guys. - I found that one.
Did you jerk it out of Turtle's cock?
Come on, Ari, it's cool. Take a look.
"Dear Vincent Chase's manager.
"After three years of turmoil we have completed
"what we think you'll find to be a complex and riveting tale of men
"on a journey to save themselves from a literal and emotional inferno."
Jesus Christ.
Have we learned nothing from our past mistakes?
We need a go film here, boys. A studio film.
It's a great character piece. It's about nine firefighters
on the night before the biggest fire they ever fought.
No indies, E!
Think of it like the Holocaust.
Never again, all right?
That is what got us here in the first place.
Vinnie, for the love of God, this is not for us.
All right, well what is for us?
- Right now there is nothing. - Nothing?
Nothing. You're in movie jail.
How do I get out? What do I have to do?
You just do what you've been doing.
- You just sit tight. You wait. - Wait for what?
For the stench from Medellin to disappear.
VINCE: How long's that gonna take?
How long did it take for the air to clear from fucking Chernobyl?
What do you want us to do? You want us to sit around and do nothing?
I thought you weren't gonna talk. But since you are, yes.
You should sit around and do nothing.
Or maybe go to Vinnie's supersecret hideaway in Mexico
and come back when you're tan or tall, whichever comes first.
- Ari. - Vinnie, listen to me.
Listen.
We need to rebuild you. All right? We've got to start over from scratch.
I will decide when the moment is right.
And then we will pounce on a greenlit studio picture
with an A-list director, 'cause that is what we need.
Listen, this is what I do. Let me be heard this time.
I swear to God, you will come back stronger than ever.
Like Lance Armstrong,
but with two balls.
Hard to believe this is where I'm at, huh?
Hard to believe we're gonna sit around on our asses and do nothing.
There are other things an actor can do besides waiting around for his agent.
Like what, Drama? Somebody's got to hire him to act.
Nobody hired Drama when he was doing those scenes on the 3rd Street Promenade.
I didn't do scenes on the Promenade, jerkoff.
The Santa Monica Pier once, and I got paid for that.
So what do you think I can do, Johnny?
Well, you can work on your body for one.
My body? What's wrong with my body?
Don't get sensitive, bro.
Let's face it, you'd have a tough time landing the lead in 300.
What do you think of this, Turtle?
- I liked 300. - You don't like my body either?
Vin, your body is just fine.
But I have often thought if we put your face on Russell Crowe's body
we'd have the Terminator of acting.
You've thought about Vince's face on Russell Crowe's body? That's disturbing.
I'm actually feeling insecure now.
- I wanted to talk to you about that script. - VINCE: You heard Ari.
We need a studio movie. We're gonna listen to him this time.
I'm talking about the writers. I'm thinking maybe I should sign them.
Yeah, give you three out-of-work clients to work with.
Sorry, Vin. I'm really just making fun of his other clients.
I actually think it's a good idea. Worst case,
we'll have a nice management business to feed us.
- ERIC: Exactly. - Don't look now, but it's Justine Chapin.
Oh, maybe we can get her to feed us.
- Justine! - Vince.
Hi!
How have you been? How's life?
Life's amazing. You?
(LAUGHS) Sorry. God, you look incredible.
You too. What are you doing in town?
Shooting a video for my new album.
New album. That's awesome.
- Can't wait to hear it. - Don't make fun.
I know my music isn't really your thing. But this is way different.
- It's very sophisticated. - I'm sure.
I've grown up. I'm doing duets with Tony Bennett.
- I love Tony Bennett. - He's amazing.
We're finishing the video today and having a wrap party.
- You guys should come. - I got a girlfriend.
You should come, Vince.
Well, I'm off today, so why not?
Okay, I'll text you the address.
- Great. - See you.
- Yeah, bye. - See you.
Fuck the gym. My body's fine.
ARl: Aw, fuck! What the...
That's all right. What's the matter with you today, buddy?
Focus is off.
What's the problem? You got marital woes?
No, client trouble.
You need me to hunt down some commissions for you?
It's Vinnie Chase. There are no commissions.
Oh, man.
Screened Medellin last night. Fell asleep halfway through.
Don't worry about Vinnie, Ari. It's all good.
I'm making so much money you're gonna be all right, buddy.
Jesus, come on. That's a nice shot.
I'm going again.
Hit until you're happy. It's your club.
You know what? I love this kid the way I love you.
He comes into my office today, he's got four scripts
that he wants to do, none of which he can get.
I don't know what to say to him.
You were always good at lying off the cuff.
What are you talking about? I never lied to you.
What about when you told me you liked The Truth About Charlie?
- What is The Truth About Charlie? - Exactly.
- Hit the ball, please. - Look where we are now, baby.
What about Vinnie? Think he's gonna be all right?
50-50.
Fucking rusty cunt bucket!
- Fuck! - I wasn't laughing.
- Fuck! - (LAUGHING)
- (PHONE RINGING) - (GUNSHOTS)
Bullets and Bitches, LB here.
I'm looking for Nick or Lawrence.
LB stands for Lawrence, hot dog. Is there a problem?
No, my name is Eric Murphy. I'm a talent manager from Los Angeles.
I represent Vincent Chase.
You guys sent me your script. I'd love to talk to you about it.
Please don't tell me this is one of them prank shows. We got guns here.
No prank, LB, I loved your script.
Holy fuck! I'm freakin'!
I'm fuh-fuckin' freakin'. Are you serious?
Oh, damn. Vincent Chase wants to do our movie.
No, actually I wanted to talk to you guys about representation.
I'd better get Nick.
Look, how about I come out there and see you guys?
All right. Yeah, I guess.
I guess that'd be all right.
How do you know she's not a virgin anymore, Turtle?
It's been all over the papers. Why do you think her last few albums haven't sold?
I should not be here right now.
You know I had a thing for this girl back in the day.
- But you never closed. - I wasn't gonna be her first.
I know your motto, never be the first, never be the last.
Could you guys just take me home?
- No. - Shut up.
- Maybe I'll call a cab. - What is the problem?
The problem is when I gave Jaq my itinerary
I didn't account on time being spent with non-virgins.
It's almost 10:00 in France.
I'm supposed to be home so I can tuck her in on the computer.
If not, she's gonna freak.
Johnny, why do you want to be in a relationship with someone this crazy?
Obsession is a huge turn on to me, bro.
(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)
(SINGING)
You are so gonna bang this girl.
VINCE: She can be real trouble for me, I'm telling you.
If you and Drama both have girlfriends, I'm gonna shoot myself.
I hope I have a girlfriend after tonight.
I'm gonna go call her.
(JUSTINE SINGING)
(PHONE RINGING)
- Hello. - Hey, babe.
Hello, Johnny. Are you ready to video?
No, my stupid Internet's down.
Modern technology sucks.
Did you try resetting the modem?
Yeah, like three times. No go.
I'm sorry if I let you down tonight.
You didn't let me down.
But I do like to see you.
I like to see you too, baby.
Are you listening to Tony Bennett?
Uh, yeah.
I was just playing some CDs.
I love Tony Bennett.
Oh yeah? So do I.
I didn't know you loved Tony Bennett.
I guess we still have some things left to uncover about each other, huh?
Yeah, I guess so.
(SINGING)
So let me try to understand something.
You represent Vincent Chase, you want to represent us,
we want Vincent Chase, but you can't get us Vincent Chase.
Well, Vince is looking to do a studio movie right now.
- Oh, he is? - So what can you get us?
I think I can get you a job writing.
Why do we need a job when we spent three years of our lives writing the script?
Well, maybe if it's a real writing job...
Yeah, LB, wait. Hold on for a second.
LB gets a little excited by the appearance of a fancy car and nice clothes. No offense.
This script has our life's blood dripped into it.
As your manager, Nick...
As the manager of Vincent Chase who can't get us Vincent Chase,
who do you manage that you can get for us?
You got Shia LaBeouf?
Listen, managers don't necessarily get you stars for your movies, Nick.
What I can do, what I will do, is passionately sell you guys to the town
so that people will pay you lots of money to do what you did so well on this script.
I mean, let me do that. Come on, guys.
What do I have to do to prove to you that I'm the one that can change your lives?
Sell the script... Nine Brave Souls.
That's what you can do.
- (PARTY MUSIC PLAYING) - (PEOPLE CHATTING)
- Just calm down. - I can't calm down, Turtle.
I never should have lied to her. Jaq knows me too well.
It's like the tone of my voice is her own truth serum.
Drama, you're not doing anything wrong, so stop worrying about it.
I appreciate the advice, Turtle, but you don't understand crazy broads,
'cause nobody's ever been attracted enough to you to act psycho.
I'm gonna call her back and try and gauge her temperature.
Good luck with that.
You guys have an amazing chemistry.
Wow, this is like a mutual admiration society.
- Loved Aquaman. - Thank you.
I haven't got a chance to see the sequel yet.
Don't worry, I'm not in it. Jake Gyllenhaal is.
Well, I guess you had your reasons.
Anyway, it was a pleasure meeting you.
- Thank you very much. - Thank you.
And, sweetheart, I'll see you in a bit.
Okay.
- Isn't he awesome? - Yeah, he is.
I have someone else I would like you to meet.
- Oh, yeah? - Yes.
See the pink dress over there with the incredible legs?
Yeah.
She's so in love with you and she's amazing.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
I'm gonna go get her. Be right back.
What's going on?
I'm not sure, but I think I'm being pawned off.
- Get out of here. - Something very off about today.
She's not answering. I'm freaking out. She must be pissed.
She must be sleeping.
I just talked to her 10 minutes ago, Turtle.
Baby Jaq don't fall asleep that fast.
Maybe she's on the can taking a shit.
Yeah, let's hope so.
I'll call her back in 10.
Vince, Michella. Michella, Vince.
- Hey. - Hi.
So, Justine, you have any other spare friends lying around for me?
E's on the phone.
Why?
I don't know, but he sounds enthusiastic.
- What? - Jesus, be less friendly.
If you have business to discuss, start talking, E.
I want to talk to you about that script I found.
What did I tell you this morning?
Relax, Ari. I'm not calling about Vince.
- I want to sign the writers. - Why would I care?
Because I want to sell their script. I need an agent to help me do that.
Try the Yellow Pages.
Come on, Ari. I'm calling you as a friend, all right?
I need your help. It's a really good script. Can you help me?
Yes, I can, E. Lloyd.
Get the number for UCLA Extension
so Eric can take a course to finally learn how the movie business works.
- You won't help me, Ari? - We share one client, E.
We're never gonna share two.
Here you go.
So how long have you been a dancer?
Since I was three. So like 19 years.
I thought you said you were 27.
So?
Still no answer. I don't know what to do.
- Keep trying. - Who's not answering?
My girlfriend. She's pissed at me.
- Why, what did you do? - I lied to her.
I said I was home when I was at a party.
But she has no way of knowing that he lied.
But it's night in Paris and she's not answering her phone so he's freaking out.
This is unreal. And it's her fault.
Because if she wasn't so fucking possessive I wouldn't have to lie to her.
- Maybe she's sleeping. - That's what I said.
Well, you're both wrong, 'cause the ring would have woke her up.
So either she's pissed and not answering or she's being held captive.
There's a third choice.
- What's that? - She's out.
- Out where? - Maybe a party. You are.
You think my girl would lie to me?
I told my boyfriend I was at an audition today.
He gets really upset when I'm out.
I'm calling her back.
(SIGHS)
So with all that dancing,
can you do any crazy shit like put your legs behind you head?
I told you I have a boyfriend.
You did. But you also said you lie to him.
So maybe you could tell him that we didn't fuck today.
Baby, it's me again.
I'd like to think you're sleeping, but nobody could sleep through this.
(YELLING) Where the fuck are you?
Pick up the fucking phone!
Didn't his mother ever tell him not to speak like that?
I remember the first time you and Justine went out.
I was still living in Ohio and I was so jealous.
Oh, yeah?
I've had a crush on you since you did that Mentos commercial.
Oh, wow, that was a long time ago, huh?
I should get some extra credit
for liking you even before you were a giant movie star.
Yes, you should.
Uh, listen, Michelle, would you excuse me for a second?
I just have to make a quick phone call.
- Yeah, sure. But, Vince. - Yeah?
- It's Michella. - Oh.
But you can call me Michelle if you like that better.
I'll be right back.
Hey, Lloyd, is Ari there? I need to talk to him.
Ari's in a screening right now. Is everything okay?
Actually, no, it's not. Can you get him out?
Tell him I'll be there in 10 minutes. I really need to talk.
(ASIAN MUSIC PLAYING ONSCREEN)
(WHISPERING) Vince is gonna be here in 10 minutes.
Jesus!
What do you want to do?
I can't walk out of here 'cause the director is sitting right behind me.
So what should I do?
Pull the plug on the projector.
- Are you serious? - Yeah, go.
(MUSIC STOPS)
What the hell?
Can we fix this fucking projector already?
I'm sorry, man. I'm so sorry. I'm gonna hit the bathroom real quick.
Could someone fix the fucking projector?
- So what did he say the problem is? - He didn't.
But if I had to guess I'd say you didn't make him very happy this morning.
Like it's my fault.
(PHONE RINGING)
- You calling to apologize? - I'm calling to tell you
that I blame you for every bad thing that's ever happened to Vince,
and every bad thing that ever could happen to him for the rest of his life.
You're the unfucking lucky charm. You hear me?
You should never utter the words "I've found a good script",
'cause you have no idea what a good fucking script looks like.
Live with that.
Mr. Murphy, Miss Daniels will see you now.
Thank you.
Well, this is a surprise.
How could you do this to me?
Six months I've been nothing but faithful.
Do you have any idea how much pussy is thrown at me day and night?
And I pass on all of it. For what?
So you could run around fucking every French faggot
that pays you a compliment?
- Johnny? - Baby?
Where the fuck have you been?
I was at the hospital. My friend had a car accident.
- What friend? - Lily.
Hi, Johnny.
Oh, hey, Lily.
- How are you doing? - I've been better. You?
I'm okay. I'm okay.
Jaq, are you okay?
No, Johnny, I'm not okay.
I knew you were a little crazy when you said
we needed to get on the computer every night,
but I had to call the police on my last boyfriend.
- Look, baby... - I don't want to have to call the police on you.
- Goodbye, Johnny. - Wait, wait, wait, wait!
Wait, Jaq! Jaq!
Baby.
So why aren't you keeping this for Vince?
Ari only wants Vince to do a go studio movie.
- Do you agree? - Yeah.
I mean, if he can get one. What do you think?
I think we don't work together anymore, Eric.
But if this script is as good as you say it is, seems like Vince could use it.
On the other hand, you are one more bad choice away from ruining his career.
Thanks.
So did Ari read it?
Nope.
So what makes you think I will?
You have a better work ethic.
Look at that. See? You almost smiled.
Now look, it's really good.
I promise you I wouldn't waste your time if it wasn't.
Just read 10 pages of it and you'll be hooked, guaranteed.
- Please. - Leave it, I'll read five.
He's here. He's here. Vince is here.
What, are you speedballing fairy dust?
Go out there and greet him like a man.
Vinnie. There he is. How you doing, baby?
To be honest, Ari, not great.
I haven't said that very many times in my life.
- What's wrong? - I don't know.
I came back from Mexico motivated, ready to work
and correct me if I'm wrong, you basically said that I can't.
- No, no, no, what I said was... - I know what you said.
I just want to know what it means.
Do you really have a plan, Ari? Really?
You always said you were going to be the guy to give it to me straight, so come on.
Give it to me straight. Am I gonna be okay?
I don't know.
I mean, one bad movie and this is what happens?
I mean, was I really that awful?
Straight up, Vinnie, the movie was awful.
And yes, you were awful in it.
But you know what? One bad movie can be overcome.
Look at Colin Farrell. He's overcome dozens of them,
because the perception of him is, he's a movie star.
- And what's the perception of me? - That you don't give a fuck.
You refuse to play the game. You refuse to be a part of the process.
Look, the great ones, even if they don't care, they pretend they do.
Do you think I'm a good actor, Ari?
I did not sign you in the first place 'cause I thought you could act.
I signed you because I thought you were a movie star.
And you haven't acted like one in a long time.
I'm ready to play the game, Ari.
Whatever you say.
- That's a good start. - But I'm not willing to wait.
I want you to send me in to every person in this town who's willing to meet me.
I don't care if it wastes my time,
I will charm the fuck out of every last one of them.
Filmmakers, studio execs, all of them, I will change the perception.
I like the fire.
You don't believe I'm a good actor?
It remains to be seen.
But, Vin, I'm starting to believe that you're a movie star again.
And you know what?
This town loves a comeback.
And since Britney fucked hers up, it's all you!
Thanks, bud.
PHOTOGRAPHER: Hey, Vinnie, over here.
- Yo, Vin, we're leaving. - Give me two minutes.
I'll be right back.
Where did you go? I've been waiting.
I'm sorry. I'll be right back.
Excuse me. Can I talk to you for a second?
- Where are you going? - Vince, what?
Why did you invite me here if you were just going to pawn me off on your friend?
- I thought you'd like her. - I like you.
Vince, if I fuck you then I'll want to be your girlfriend.
And I don't want to be in a relationship right now.
So last time I saw you, you were too innocent. Now you're too slutty?
- Now I'm having fun. - So we'll have fun.
Keep it casual. Get serious in the future.
And if we fuck up any chance of having a future?
I'll risk it if you will.
How long are we just gonna sit here for?
Till Vince comes out.
Well, I'm getting really bored and it's giving me time to think.
It's not a good thing for you.
I understand. And try not to take this as an insult,
but as gorgeous as you are, I'd never ditch Vince for you.
Well, I like your loyalty.
Yeah? How much?
Jesus Christ, Drama. Where the hell have you been?
I've been drinking.
You okay?
(GROANS)
Do I look okay?
- There's Vince. - Well, look at this.
Let's roll.
(CAR STARTS)
- Hey, Johnny. - Hey.
You guys really, kind of, like each other, huh?
Uh, maybe.
That's great.
That's just fucking great.
(POP MUSIC PLAYING)