(theme music playing)
You guys were right. I feel like a new man.
Tell us about it.
- I don't kiss and tell. - Come on, give us something.
- Like what? - Like was she a squirter?
- You are disgusting. - E: What's up, guys?
- Yo, what's up? - He's disgusting.
- Turtle got laid last night. - By the coed.
- Really? - Is it that unbelievable?
No, I just thought Jamie, you know...
He's over her. Guy got back on the horse and performed like a man.
- I'm impressed. - How are things going with you?
Sloan agreed to have lunch with me.
Where E will perform like a woman.
- Shut up. - So what are you gonna say?
I'm gonna tell her I want to get back together.
You've said that before, haven't you?
- You don't think it'll work? - No.
I don't really want relationship advice from you anyway, Drama.
I'm not really giving you relationship advice, E,
'cause you and Sloan don't really have a relationship.
But embrace it, because freedom is a beautiful thing.
- And now we all have it. - Yeah, well, I don't want it.
I didn't want it either. It was forced upon me.
You guys are pathetic. I'm leaving for Italy tomorrow. Is anyone coming with?
- I don't know. - Maybe.
Free Johnny is.
You really gonna quit acting, Drama?
Freedom, baby. I might even have some t-shirts made up.
- He's just taking a little break. - (phone ringing)
Oh, Miss U.C.L.A.
You go, girl.
- Hey. - Hey.
Look, this may be a little direct,
but I'm feeling really insecure that you didn't even try and kiss me last night.
I didn't want to be aggressive.
- I like aggressive, Turtle. - I can see that.
- Come over. - Now?
Yeah, unless you're busy.
No, I'm not busy. It's just...
- Jamie? - Yeah.
I will help you get over Jamie, Turtle.
- You think? - I know.
Even if we just talk.
All right.
I'm just saying no amount of lvy gimlets
is gonna make Sloan fall back in love with you.
- I'm out. - Round two on campus?
- Something like that. - Love it.
- Learn from it. - Later, boys.
- Later. - Enjoy.
Look, E, I agree with Johnny.
- What's a lunch going to accomplish? - I'm gonna make it special.
- How are you gonna make lunch special? - I've got some ideas.
You're gonna need some roofies, bro.
(stifled laugh)
So what are we here to talk about?
Well, this is extremely secretive.
Everything in here is.
I'm buying a very big company.
Oh, congrats.
Which he said wouldn't cost us anything.
This deal will make me the head of the largest agency
in the entire entertainment business.
You said it wouldn't cost us anything.
I didn't think that it would.
He said the company was gonna buy it.
I thought that the company could.
But it's been a rough year so, you know,
we're a little strapped for cash.
But the bank has asked me to personally guarantee something.
- $12 million. - I think it's great that you two have
such open communication about your money.
It's not our money.
- It's her money. - Oh.
And I just put up my money when we started this new agency.
And that was over two years ago
and we still haven't gotten all of that money back yet.
And that doesn't concern you, Ari?
No, because we're gonna make it back 50 times
- on this one. - (scoffs)
You don't see it this way?
Even if I did, I don't see this as just about business.
Is it about ego, Ari?
I've always dreamed about ruling the world.
But now that I'm getting older I would settle for ruling Hollywood.
It goes much deeper than that. He's got enemies at this company he wants to buy.
- I have enemies everywhere. - Who are these enemies?
These are very personal conflicts. He wants payback.
- And I'm not sure he's thinking clearly. - What?
Tell me about these conflicts, Ari.
- They don't matter. - Your wife seems to think they do.
My wife doesn't know how I do my business.
But you need her money in order to buy this business that you want.
- So why do you want it? - For revenge.
- For a music department. - For Terrance.
For a book department that I can pair with filmmakers.
- And for Lloyd. - For sports stars.
Is it possible that these people are the reason you want to buy the agency?
Yes, he wants to destroy them.
Tell her. Tell her.
Is it true? Do you want to destroy these people, Ari?
Okay, yes!
If I could gouge out Terrance McQuewick's eyeballs
and eat them for what he did to me, I would.
And I would sell that Benedict Arnold Adam Davies
into white slavery if we lived in a place that had a market for it.
And Lloyd, that little queen
who I welcomed into my home
and allowed to play with my children and care for my dog,
and who left me for those two scumbags,
I would tie him up and allow the entire
Screen Actors Guild to anally rape him
if not for the fact that I know he would enjoy it.
I hate 'em all.
And yes, I want to see them destroyed.
But that is not why I want this company.
I want... no no, I need
this company because it's good business.
It's good goddamn business.
And if I don't buy it, someone else will
and that will be very very bad for my business.
And my wife, of all people, should know
that when it comes to business, my judgment is never clouded.
So please please,
support me like you always have
and I will deliver for us
like I always have.
What do you think?
I think it was a good speech.
Yeah.
Do what you need to do, Ari.
Really?
I love you.
Can we fuck in here?
Johnny, "Melrose Place" will not stop calling me.
They like you. Like Sally Field, they really really like you.
I'm sorry you have to deal with that, Lloyd. But I told you, I'm passing.
Johnny, just go in and read for them. 10 minutes of your life.
- What do you have to lose? - What's left of my soul, Lloyd.
Sorry, got to go.
Johnny, maybe you should just test.
If you get it you can turn it down if you really don't want it.
I don't want it. Really.
Look at me.
Vince, I have one pair left.
- Oh, awesome. Thanks. - You're welcome.
- Vince, what's up? - Hey, Matty.
- How's it going? - How you doing, buddy?
- Good to see you, man. - Good to see you.
- Hey, Matt. - Hey.
Johnny.
Listen, man, did you get the stuff that I sent over to Ari?
It's the foundation I'm working with... the One By One Foundation.
- The kids' foundation. - Oh, yeah yeah.
It's at the house. I haven't had a chance to look at it.
- You haven't looked at it yet? - No, I just... I've been busy.
- With what? - I'm doing the new Darabont movie.
- Don't be afraid to get involved, Vince. - Oh no, I'm not.
We're raising money for children all over the world. It's for kids.
- It sounds good. - It is good.
- You should look at it. - I will.
- You can look at it too. - Yeah, I will, Matt.
- I'll see you, man. - See you later.
It's for kids.
Wow, he's intense.
(rock music playing)
- Where are we going? - It's a surprise.
- How far is it? - It's a surprise.
I have to be back by 2:30.
You're not gonna be, so surprise.
- No, I'm serious. - Me too.
Come on, Eric. No fooling around.
I have something I have to do.
- Really? - Yeah.
That's my fault. I wasn't thinking.
- But this is really important. - What is?
I can't tell you till we're there.
(laughs, groans)
- Come on, what is it? - I can't tell you till we're there.
Anyway, you can change your appointment.
(sighs)
Is this really important?
Yes it is.
Okay.
- Thank you. - You owe me.
Always.
- Wake up. - I'm up.
- You're like kissing a corpse. - I'm sorry.
You're not attracted to me?
Are you kidding? You're smoking.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
Maybe you just need to loosen up a little.
Relax.
Now you're getting somewhere.
- Yeah? You like that? - Uh-huh.
You like that?
Yeah.
(sighs)
I can't believe I can't get you to stop thinking about her.
I'm sorry.
She hasn't called me back in three days.
Maybe she doesn't want to talk to you.
No, I think she's pissed I didn't try to stop her from going.
- Or that I didn't go with her, you know? - I don't know her, Turtle.
I should have gone with her.
Maybe you should go now.
I'm really sorry.
I'll live.
Yeah, but I got you all worked up
and now I'm just abandoning you. That's not fair.
You want me to go down on you or something?
(scoffs)
- Lloyd. Lloyd. - Yes?
Ari Gold's on his way up here again.
What? Why is this happening?
Why does Ari Gold keep coming up here?
Adam, I gave up my life to work with you.
You two make a cute couple.
Adam, talk to me, please.
I think we're merging or Ari's buying us. I don't know.
Oh my God. What will that mean for me?
I know what it'll mean for me.
You know what I'm looking forward to, Terrance?
No, what's that?
Walking through this place Terminator style
and eradicating all the dead weight.
Unlike you, I have a soft heart.
(laughs) Soft as a diamond.
Okay, can we dispense with the pleasantries?
You know, my business hasn't done too badly over the years.
But it can be doing so much better.
And it will be doing better once we're done here. So let's move on.
You were always so certain that you knew better than I.
Barbara's right, seeing is believing.
But when I trim the fat off this shithole
and put it all under the Miller Gold banner,
you will see what it could have been if you would have kept me around.
Oh, I look forward to that.
Except of course it won't be under the Miller Gold banner.
I don't follow.
You obviously haven't read the addendum in the contract.
- What addendum? - It was added in this morning.
It's nothing really. It's just I want assurances
that the 40-year-old Terrance McQuewick Agency,
which I founded, doesn't somehow lose its name.
Well, that's not really for you to decide.
- The addendum says it is. - Are you f... joking?
Ari, we've only had our name for two years.
- How attached to it can you be? - I like Gold, okay?
You can't pull this shit last second.
I wouldn't have thought I needed it.
My lawyers didn't think I did.
They said, "What idiot would want to get rid of a brand name
that is synonymous with entertainment
and has been for nearly four decades?"
But I woke up in a terrible sweat last night.
And I thought, "My God.
I know what idiot would want that... him."
You got your price, you have no other say.
- Ari. - I'm out of here.
Come on, Ari. Don't let your unchecked ego
bring you to your knees again.
Ari, come back and sign the fucking papers.
Lloyd Lee, you got a new lease on life.
You too, scumbag.
- Drama: Lloyd. Lloyd. - Yeah, Johnny?
I said it doesn't matter because it isn't about the money.
Tell 'em I said thank you but no thank you.
- Okay. - All right, I'll talk to you later.
Okay.
What happened?
They're willing to push my quote 10 Gs.
You're making 'em want you. What are you thinking?
I'm thinking about you and me
scouring the Italian countryside.
I can't think of anything better.
You know I'm gonna be working most of the time?
Yeah, you've still got to eat and blow off some steam.
True. I just want to make sure you're gonna be okay.
- I don't want you to have any regrets. - I'm great, bro, really.
I might even take up as a cobbler like Daniel Day.
Now that would be interesting.
(phone rings)
Ciao. The Chase residence.
Hey, it's Matt Damon.
Hey, Matt, it's Johnny. What can I do for you?
You can write a big check to the One By One Foundation.
I'd love to, but my future's a little uncertain right now.
- I'm out of the business. - Were you in the business?
I was on a hit show for three years.
- What happened, they fired you? - No, I left by choice.
Well, listen, John, there are millions of helpless children
- with much much bigger problems. - Well, yeah, of course.
Is Vince there? Did he look at the materials yet?
Hang on. It's Damon.
He wants to know about that charity thing.
He must have slipped out.
But I can see the brochures opened up here on the table.
Put him on the fucking phone, John.
Okay.
Sorry, he Jason Bourned me.
(sighs) Hey, Matt.
I was just looking over the stuff.
- Pretty moving shit, isn't it? - Very.
Okay, so can I count on you?
Just let me know what I can do.
I'll tell you what you can do.
We've got some trips coming up to Cleveland, Ohio.
Feeding America, one of our partners, is running a food bank there.
I need a other celebrity to go with me to draw attention to the fact
that one out of six American children...
one out of six, are food insecure.
Do you even know what that means, Vince?
It means they don't know where their next meal is coming from.
One out of six Americans. It's fucking shameful.
Yeah, I'm leaving for Italy tomorrow.
You know what? Fuck the American kids.
Let them starve. Have a good time on your vacation.
No, it's not a vacation. I'm working.
- Get off your arse, Vince. - That's Bono, Vince.
Oh, hey, Bono.
You know, it doesn't take much to have a big effect here, Vince.
- Yeah. - Matt: I'll tell you what...
when you're done with your Frank Darabont movie,
- I'm gonna take you on a trip, okay? - Yeah, for sure.
In the near term I would like a check.
Okay. For how much?
- Do what's right, Vince. - Don't be a cheapskate, man.
Do it today. Don't make me wait. I'm going to be waiting.
- We'll both be waiting. - See you, Vince.
(door shuts)
Yo, what's up?
I'm going to New Zealand.
- Hey, what happened with the coed? - Nothing.
Not today or last night.
You lied?
Sorry. I love Jamie. I don't want to be with anybody else.
I got a 6:00 P.M. Flight.
Well...
I guess freedom is ours and ours alone, Johnny.
Yeah.
What's wrong?
I may have been lying to myself too, bro.
I'm an actor.
I've got to get to that meeting.
Eric: We got lucky today. It's basically perfect weather.
Yeah.
God, it feels like forever since we were last here.
It was only a couple years ago.
- More like three. - We spent two nights at Shutters.
- That was a good weekend. - It was for me.
You got so sunburned you couldn't breathe without pain.
Maybe I glorified it a little bit.
No, it was amazing.
So what are we doing here?
Is Vince thinking about buying this place or something?
No.
So what then?
I just wanted to remind you how good we could be together.
Wow.
You've got to be kidding me.
- Sloan. - Eric, I canceled on someone.
Was it really that important?
It's the guy I'm seeing and yes, I like him.
Well, I still love you.
- I want to go home. - Sloan.
Eric, we've been over this.
I want to go home now.
Hey, Jame, it's me.
I just wanted to let you know I'm on my way to see you.
We need to talk face to face.
I'm taking off in a little, so please call me if you get this.
- Where are you traveling to? - Auckland.
- How long is the flight? - About 14 and a half hours.
Sweet.
- This lying scumbag piece of shit. - What did you expect from him?
I expected him to honor the deal that he agreed to.
- He was never going to. - He has never honored anything.
But you still want this.
More than I want my wife to crave pussy.
But I will not be controlled by that rotting old douchebag.
- I was for too long. - It's a fair deal though, Ari.
For whatever reason, he's being more than fair.
And you know that if you drop this ball
the whole town is gonna dive for this.
- What the hell? - He's weak.
I don't know why, but he is. Just get the deal done.
- Andrew. - Terrance.
Nice to see you. Didn't realize you were still in the business.
- Die. - Not for you.
Not for any TV agents. Hello, Ari.
I should kick your ass for wasting my time.
Do you remember when you first came to work for me?
We used to go spar at my gym.
I'd kick your ass.
You were my boss. I let you win.
I could still kick your ass and you know it.
Listen, you crawled over here for a reason. What is it?
I want to make this deal work.
Well, then I suggest that you go find a buyer
who will let you push them around.
'Cause it ain't gonna be me.
I want you to buy it.
Why?
Because you miss having some sort of control over me?
I'm smart enough to know that I never had control over you.
No. Not while I was working for you.
Or shall I say with you?
I was your number-one asset.
We used to laugh at all those other dickheads.
But you became one when you threw me out
of the company that I built!
Look, let's put the past behind us.
The future is yours. Don't destroy my legacy out of spite.
Admit that you destroyed me out of spite,
out of bitterness and out ofjealousy.
Is that what all this is about? Do you want me to apologize?
Poor hurt little boy still pines for his daddy's approval?
I became too big for you and you couldn't handle it.
No, I couldn't handle your rotten ego
or your extraordinary salary demands.
Bullshit.
So this is why you won't let me keep my name?
If you don't like it, you can go find someone else.
No, I don't want anyone else.
You're the only one who can take this company forward for the next 50 years.
- Well, then apologize. - I just did.
It was a mistake
that I kicked you out, Ari, all right?
I was just feeling unneeded.
Well, you were needed.
Well, you know you're going to grow old someday, Ari.
Hopefully you'll find someone
who'll be able to help you do it gracefully.
I'll let you keep your name.
(chuckles) Make it last.
You've got a roomful of people that are very excited
that you've changed your mind and decided to come in, Johnny.
I'm just glad you guys are still willing to see me.
Truth is, Phil begged us to see you again.
And, um, I'm...
I'm questioning the reluctance.
Are you not feeling this role?
- No no no. - Well, what then?
Well, for a minute there I didn't think I wanted this anymore.
But then it hit me... what I don't want anymore is the rejection.
18 years of it has taken its toll.
I was on this show once before.
And I was on another series for the past 87 episodes.
I've done over 140 guest spots on TV and other movies,
16 plays, 39 commercials...
yet still you haven't seen enough
to just offer me the part.
Still you make me sing for my supper.
Hey, if you don't want to...
Pal, it doesn't matter if I want to.
I have to.
There you go. That's the spirit.
Roll this. Do it, Johnny.
(shouts) Here we go!
They basically gave me the part in the room, bro.
- Yeah? - Yeah, Yagoda said I was pitch perfect.
I even got a sincere thumbs up from that jerkoff director.
You should have stopped caring a long time ago, Johnny.
No shit.
So I guess this means I'm going to Italy alone then, huh?
Well, I don't have an official offer and I don't want to jinx it,
but sorry, bro. Looks like you're solo.
I'm proud of you, Johnny.
Thanks, Vince.
- Later. - Later.
I don't know why you're so angry.
I said I was sorry.
You rejected me, I feel bad enough.
You should be used to that by now.
Look, I was wrong, all right?
The guys told me you were over me and I didn't believe them.
And you usually listen to every word the guys say.
I know. It's just that
even though we've been apart for the last three years,
I always believed that one day I'd have you, a house, kids.
- You mean we. - I don't follow.
We would have a house and kids.
You're a selfish prick. You follow that?
Why is it so selfish because I'm trying to tell you I want to be with you?
Because last time you convinced me it was forever
and then took off with your buddies five minutes later.
I'm sorry. I was trying to get my business going.
- You took me for granted. - I know.
Eric, why are you doing this to me?
Because I love you.
I will not get lured back into this.
I can't trust you.
You love to have a girlfriend, but on your terms.
You're never gonna be able to commit, not to anyone.
That is not true. I will commit to you right now.
- Eric, stop. - I swear to God.
- I'll marry you. - You'll marry me?
Yes, I will get in that car right now, drive to Vegas
and commit to you for the rest of my life.
Really? Have you even thought about this?
Yeah, I have.
And this time I swear on my life
it'll be forever.
Jesse. How've you been?
I've been...
Great. I'm back and you're fired.
- (paintballs shooting) - Hello all.
No need to run. Your fates have already been sealed.
- You're safe. - Oh my God.
You're safe, for now.
Hello, nice to see you. Who's your best client?
Um...
Jesus!
I represent "Jon and Kate Plus 8."
Where are you, Davies?
Ari, I'm already packing to save myself the indignity.
That's too bad.
Ari, Jesus Christ!
- Have you lost your mind, Ari? - (laughs)
- Now where's Lloyd Lee? - Mr. Lee knew you were coming, Mr. Gold.
He decided not to wait for your arrival.
Now why don't I believe you?
(gun fires)
Now, Lloyd, maybe you're not here.
Maybe you are.
Either way, you have nothing to fear
because I'm not gonna kill you. I love you.
You see, even though you betrayed me,
you were the best slave that I ever had.
I mean, who could possibly replace
the way that you picked up my dry-cleaning?
No one.
Who could better the way you picked up my dog's shit?
And if I liked short, fat men
sucking on my dick,
I'm sure that no one could do it better than you either.
So return to the king
or exile yourself
from this town forever.
You have until the end of the day tomorrow
to agree to be rebranded mine.
(gun firing)
Woman: Welcome aboard, ladies and gentlemen.
Excuse me, ma'am.
If there's a seat left with an open one next to it,
- I'd love to grab that. - As would I.
I'm sorry, but I think the flight is full.
- Awesome. - (phone rings)
Jamie. Jesus, why haven't you called me?
- Turtle, where are you? - I'm on my way to you.
I don't want you to do that.
I don't want to see other people.
- I can't believe you'd think that I would. - Turtle.
Excuse me, sir. You're gonna have to get off your phone.
- We're preparing for takeoff. - One minute.
- Sir. - Just one minute.
Turtle, please don't come here.
I know I said you should see other people because I don't want you to resent me.
- But I was just being weak. - Weak? How?
The truth is I don't want to end up resenting you.
Why would you resent me?
Because I could be gone for a year.
And if the show is successful I could be gone for five.
So you want to see other people?
I don't know what I want. But I've done the long-distance thing before
and I ended up getting really really hurt.
And I would never want that to happen to either of us.
It's not like I won't come see you.
You've worked so hard this year to get your life going.
You can't be flying back and forth to New Zealand.
- I can make it work. - It wouldn't work.
And if we're ever gonna have a chance in the future,
we shouldn't try.
Wow. I didn't see this coming.
I really do love you.
Sir, you need to get off the phone right now.
Okay then.
Turtle, I'm sorry.
Yeah.
(engines powering up)
I gotta get off this plane.
I've got to get off this plane.
I'm sorry, that's not possible.
The door is closed and we've already pulled away from the gate.
I can't go to New Zealand. I've got to get off this plane now.
Sit down. Put your seat belt on.
What if I yell bomb?
Then you can get off the plane and you can
go straight to jail and pay a $250,000 fine.
(sighs)
Thank you.
Hey, Vince, we got to roll.
You're gonna miss your flight.
I'm flying private, Johnny.
They won't leave till I get there.
Oh yeah, I forgot.
- No word from E? - Or Turtle.
(phone ringing)
It's Phil Yagoda.
Hey, Phil. Give me something officially great.
John, you blew us all away at the audition.
Yeah, I know. You told me that yesterday.
I wanted to tell you again.
So did I get it or not?
In my mind you did.
- Whose other mind is there? - The network's.
- They didn't like me? - They did like you.
- But? - They think you're too old, John.
- But I'm not. - Well, they think you are.
I didn't shave yesterday. I could cut my hair.
They're going younger, John.
I guess they've got to do what they've got to do.
I've got to tell you,
I thought you were gonna put up a little more of a fight.
I got no fight left in me, Phil.
- I left it all in that room. - I know you did, John.
- And so does the network. - Cool.
In fact, they said that they think
that you are finally ready to carry something.
Great. Let me know when they got something.
They want to start developing something for you now.
They want to give you a holding deal and they want to make sure
that nobody snags you up.
Really? I've never had a holding deal before.
Good times ahead, John.
- Thanks, Phil. - You got it.
Bye.
They want to develop something for me to star in.
- Johnny, that's amazing. - Yeah.
And even more amazing, I'm coming to Italy.
- (laughs) - You got to pack.
I brought some bags just in case.
A holding deal.
It sucks the guys are gonna miss this.
It sucks for them.
Thanks for flying. Bye-bye.
- Thank you. - Any idea how quick I can get to Rome?
You just flew in from L.A.
Oh yeah, I'm trying to break the Guinness record
for most miles in 24 hours. What's it to you?
Wow, I didn't really think you'd show.
- I didn't come for work. - What did you come for?
I came to tell you to go fuck yourself.
- Watch it, Lloyd. - Don't tell me what to do.
And don't you dare let yourself be convinced
that I betrayed you.
You abused me. And you won't ever again.
But I will work myself to the bone
so that someday I will be in a position to abuse you.
You're not so smart. How could you be
if you actually believed I would ever work for you again?
So you wouldn't work for me if you were an agent?
Oh, you think I'll fall for this
- and then you'll laugh in my face. - I'm serious, Lloyd.
You just showed me balls I didn't know you had.
So that speech made you believe I should be an agent?
I believed it before you got here.
Terrance apologized to me.
I...
I'm sorry, Lloyd.
- I still think you're fucking with me. - Go check your office.
It's supposed to say agent.
(applauding)
Oh.
All right.
Get off.
Vince: Wow, Turtle's gonna meet us in Italy.
- Drama: What happened with Jamie? - He didn't say.
What, is Damon coming?
Oh, Jesus. What the hell?
- Unbelievable. - Hey, Matty.
What, are you following me?
No no, pure coincidence. Told you I was going to Cleveland.
You guys know LeBron. He gave up his vacation for the kids.
Hey, LeBron. Hey, big fan, man.
- Hey. - Hey.
- So did you get the check I sent? - Yeah, I did.
- Hope it was enough. - It wasn't.
You guys are flying private to Italy, huh?
- Must be nice. - Yeah.
- Good living. - And what are you guys doing here?
Saving the geese from an untimely death?
We're on a charitable mission, John.
The jet was donated by Marquis as well as the carbon offset.
- We're good. - Touché.
I want a big fucking check from you, Vince.
- How big? - What are you making this year,
- 20 million? Ari told me 20 mil. - Yeah, give or take.
- And you only gave 10 Gs? - That is a little light, bro.
I didn't know what was appropriate. What did you give, LeBron? I'll match it.
- I gave a million, Vince. - Oh.
- Send a buck 50. - I was gonna say 200, but that's good.
- That's good. - Yeah?
- It's for the kids. - It's for the kids.
- Done. - Good.
- Yo yo. - Hey, yo, E.
Call Marvin. Have him write a check for 150 grand to Matt's charity.
- Okay. Hey, guys. - What's up?
Matty D, Bron, let's hit it.
- All good? - As good as always, Kenny D.
- Let's do it. Jimmy Edmonds, JC, let's go. - Later, fellas.
- Have a safe flight. - See you, Vince.
- Bye, LeBron. - 150 Gs?
It's for the kids.
- Hey, Sloan. - Hey.
- Hey, Sloan. - Hi, honey.
So where you been, kid?
- Long lunch? - Lunch ended yesterday.
- And it was a disaster. - And yet you have no luggage?
Duh-duh-duh.
Great Mother of God.
- You've got to be kidding me. - We got engaged.
- Wow! - Yeah, I was gonna marry her but...
We knew you guys and my dad would kill us if you missed it.
- And we would have. - Congratulations.
- Thanks. - Congratulations.
Welcome to the gang. I wish we could stay and celebrate.
Audition some bridesmaids, if you know what I mean.
I promise you will have plenty of time for that.
So I'm assuming you're not coming.
Well, no.
Wow, first trip no E.
- We're gonna come visit though. - Mm-hmm.
You son of a bitch. Congratulations.
- I know you're gonna kill it, Vince. - No doubt.
Hey, you take care of that girl, you lucky bastard.
If you don't, Johnny Drama will.
(pop song playing)
So are you regretting this yet?
Not in the slightest.
I know I'm gonna regret this,
but you if you want to go with, I understand.
Really?
Yeah.
I love you.
Yo, guys. Wait up.
I'm kidding.
(laughs)
Wow.
The guy's down for the count.
Which one of us do you think will be next?
I have no idea, Johnny.
(Sloan laughs)
(hip-hop song playing)
Vince, this is Matt Damon.
Listen, I just had a really disturbing phone call
with the foundation. It's been a week.
I'm in Haiti at the moment. I understand your check has not come.
It has not come, Vince. Don't you fucking push me, Vince.
Don't push me. Send the check.
You do what's right, Vince.
You gave me your word. You gave LeBron your word.
Let me tell you something, man.
I never even thought you were a fucking good actor.
I thought you were terrible. Everything l...
"Aquaman," "Queens Boulevard"... they stink.
They fucking stink.
I can't even believe that you have money to give to a foundation.
But the fact is that you do
and you gave me your word that you would.
So give me the fucking check, Vince!
I can't believe I have a fucking Academy Award
and I am calling you back
again and again and again, you cocksucker!
Send me the check!
(sobbing)
Hey, Vince. It's Matt.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry, buddy.
Um, that was really out of line.
And, um, I didn't mean that.
I'm just... I'm just...
I'm just a little tired, man.
And, uh, I'm sorry.