1
00:00:04,739 --> 00:00:05,738
Hey, Oscar.
2
00:00:05,740 --> 00:00:07,006
Casey,
3
00:00:07,008 --> 00:00:08,707
you're back.
Hey.
4
00:00:08,709 --> 00:00:10,542
I thought you were shooting
a commercial in Madrid,
5
00:00:10,544 --> 00:00:12,378
then a week in Turkey,
then back on the 21st,
6
00:00:12,380 --> 00:00:14,713
British Airways Flight 117.
7
00:00:16,017 --> 00:00:17,349
Or something like that.
8
00:00:17,351 --> 00:00:19,018
That was the plan,
9
00:00:19,020 --> 00:00:20,786
but it got changed
because of a war.
10
00:00:20,788 --> 00:00:23,155
Ugh, rude.
So I'm back,
11
00:00:23,157 --> 00:00:24,456
but then off to London
in the morning.
12
00:00:24,458 --> 00:00:25,791
Oh, sounds like we have
13
00:00:25,793 --> 00:00:27,226
just enough time
for another date.
14
00:00:27,228 --> 00:00:28,694
Oh, I'd love to,
but I should probably
15
00:00:28,696 --> 00:00:30,062
sleep off this jet lag.
16
00:00:30,064 --> 00:00:31,463
Sleep? For jet lag?
17
00:00:31,465 --> 00:00:33,232
That's, like,
the worst thing you can do.
18
00:00:33,234 --> 00:00:34,800
I'm glad you ran into me.
19
00:00:34,802 --> 00:00:36,802
Oh, really?
What would you suggest?
20
00:00:36,804 --> 00:00:38,037
Well, your body needs a workout.
21
00:00:38,039 --> 00:00:39,738
You really need
to keep it moving.
22
00:00:39,740 --> 00:00:42,041
So, like a run?
23
00:00:42,043 --> 00:00:44,810
Yes, but with less vertical
pressure on the knees.
24
00:00:44,812 --> 00:00:47,346
What you're looking for
is something high-intensity,
25
00:00:47,348 --> 00:00:49,581
really get the heart pounding.
Definitely indoors.
26
00:00:49,583 --> 00:00:51,183
And maybe...
27
00:00:51,185 --> 00:00:54,486
maybe with a partner.
Huh.
28
00:00:54,488 --> 00:00:57,056
It sounds
like you're describing sex.
29
00:00:57,058 --> 00:00:59,558
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
where'd that come from?
30
00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:02,461
Wow, if this is your A-game,
Madison,
31
00:01:02,463 --> 00:01:04,596
you should be sent down
to the minors.
32
00:01:04,598 --> 00:01:07,132
A sports reference.
God made you right.
33
00:01:07,134 --> 00:01:09,134
Okay, we don't have
enough time for a date,
34
00:01:09,136 --> 00:01:11,070
but can I at least
offer you a drink?
35
00:01:11,072 --> 00:01:13,072
I do like to drink.
36
00:01:13,074 --> 00:01:15,607
God, we have so much in common.
Here, let me get that.
37
00:01:15,609 --> 00:01:17,242
Oh, thanks.
Wow, surprisingly light.
38
00:01:17,244 --> 00:01:19,311
Oh, it's mostly bikinis.
39
00:01:21,482 --> 00:01:24,683
Oscar?
Yes, I'm Oscar!
40
00:01:45,673 --> 00:01:48,440
Hey, Felix.
Casey.
41
00:01:48,442 --> 00:01:50,142
Oscar said you wouldn't be back
until 8:35
42
00:01:50,144 --> 00:01:52,111
on the morning of the 21st.
OSCAR:
Just ignore him.
43
00:01:52,113 --> 00:01:54,113
And whatever you do,
don't ask him about the...
44
00:01:54,115 --> 00:01:56,648
Is that a vacuum cleaner?
...vacuum cleaner.
45
00:01:56,650 --> 00:01:58,317
Yes, I'm doing
my monthly deep cleaning.
46
00:01:58,319 --> 00:02:00,219
Did you know that the inside
of the vacuum cleaner
47
00:02:00,221 --> 00:02:03,222
is the dirtiest part
of the home? And why?
48
00:02:03,224 --> 00:02:07,226
Because all of the dirt from
the home goes into the vacuum.
Ah.
49
00:02:07,228 --> 00:02:09,194
The more you know, huh?
Let's get that cocktail.
Yeah.
50
00:02:09,196 --> 00:02:12,197
This one's on its last legs, but
I just can't bring myself to...
51
00:02:12,199 --> 00:02:13,532
pull the plug.
52
00:02:13,534 --> 00:02:14,766
(laughs)
53
00:02:14,768 --> 00:02:16,635
It's good to have
a sense of humor.
54
00:02:16,637 --> 00:02:18,370
Especially today
of all days.
55
00:02:18,372 --> 00:02:19,571
Why? What's today?
56
00:02:19,573 --> 00:02:21,406
Hmm? Huh? Oh, uh, nothing.
57
00:02:21,408 --> 00:02:23,308
(mumbling):
Just... my birthday.
58
00:02:23,310 --> 00:02:24,376
What?
Hmm?
59
00:02:24,378 --> 00:02:26,245
Happy birthday!
Oh.
60
00:02:26,247 --> 00:02:28,313
Come here.
(chuckles)
No, I don't want any fuss.
61
00:02:28,315 --> 00:02:30,549
As you wish.
Here we go.
62
00:02:30,551 --> 00:02:33,152
Uh, first birthday
as a newly single man.
63
00:02:33,154 --> 00:02:35,654
Whoo, hoo, hoo.
64
00:02:35,656 --> 00:02:37,890
Ugh. Are you gonna be okay?
65
00:02:37,892 --> 00:02:40,325
Oh, no, the birthday part's
fine. It just...
66
00:02:40,327 --> 00:02:42,327
also happens to be
the anniversary of the day
67
00:02:42,329 --> 00:02:43,795
that I met Ashley, so...
68
00:02:43,797 --> 00:02:45,831
You met your wife
on your birthday?
69
00:02:45,833 --> 00:02:48,667
It's a cute story.
I'll tell you some other time.
70
00:02:48,669 --> 00:02:52,337
Okay.
But if you like cute stories,
it's right up there.
71
00:02:52,339 --> 00:02:54,239
I want to hear it.
72
00:02:54,241 --> 00:02:57,643
He was cleaning a vacuum.
We just had to go ten feet.
73
00:02:57,645 --> 00:03:00,479
I was at my local roller rink,
taking advantage
74
00:03:00,481 --> 00:03:02,481
of their "skate for free
on your birthday" policy.
75
00:03:02,483 --> 00:03:03,916
You're a skater?
76
00:03:03,918 --> 00:03:05,751
(chuckling):
Oh, please.
77
00:03:05,753 --> 00:03:08,353
I caught the bug
when I was a boy.
Aw.
78
00:03:08,355 --> 00:03:10,222
And you know what they say
about roller skating.
79
00:03:10,224 --> 00:03:13,225
Nothing. They say nothing
about roller skating.
80
00:03:13,227 --> 00:03:16,495
"You can't get that feeling till
you're out there a-wheeling."
81
00:03:16,497 --> 00:03:17,930
(chuckles)
82
00:03:17,932 --> 00:03:19,698
Anyway, I'm out there
gliding along,
83
00:03:19,700 --> 00:03:21,567
and I see this gorgeous
creature stumble.
84
00:03:21,569 --> 00:03:23,569
Oscar.
85
00:03:23,571 --> 00:03:25,337
She scrapes
her perfect knee,
86
00:03:25,339 --> 00:03:27,339
and then we get to talking.
I invite her back to my place
87
00:03:27,341 --> 00:03:29,575
because I have
a first aid kit, which...
88
00:03:29,577 --> 00:03:34,279
(laughing):
I know sounds
like a sexual ploy...
89
00:03:34,281 --> 00:03:36,515
(chuckles sarcastically)
It really doesn't.
90
00:03:36,517 --> 00:03:38,584
And the rest is history.
91
00:03:38,586 --> 00:03:42,354
Anyway, every year after that,
Ashley and I would just...
92
00:03:42,356 --> 00:03:45,290
happen to meet each other there
on the rink on my birthday.
93
00:03:45,292 --> 00:03:46,625
Oh, my God, that's so cute.
94
00:03:46,627 --> 00:03:48,260
Even though we haven't
been talking,
95
00:03:48,262 --> 00:03:49,928
part of me wonders
if maybe she might...
96
00:03:49,930 --> 00:03:51,597
lace up the old skates and...
97
00:03:51,599 --> 00:03:53,365
No, no, no.
She's not gonna be there.
98
00:03:53,367 --> 00:03:55,000
She kicked you out.
She's moving on.
99
00:03:55,002 --> 00:03:56,802
You've got to move on, too.
Yep.
100
00:03:56,804 --> 00:03:58,637
That's right. I'm... Yep.
101
00:03:58,639 --> 00:04:01,273
Um, excuse me.
I'm just gonna get some air.
102
00:04:01,275 --> 00:04:03,976
Attaboy. Okay.
Yep.
103
00:04:03,978 --> 00:04:07,512
Oscar, stop. How could
you treat him like that?
104
00:04:07,514 --> 00:04:08,981
You're supposed
to be his friend.
105
00:04:08,983 --> 00:04:10,983
I am his friend.
I told him the truth.
106
00:04:10,985 --> 00:04:12,951
(sighs loudly)
107
00:04:12,953 --> 00:04:15,287
What was that?
That's Felix.
I'll take care of it.
108
00:04:15,289 --> 00:04:17,956
(sighing loudly)
109
00:04:20,461 --> 00:04:23,028
That's your solution?
Unbelievable.
110
00:04:23,030 --> 00:04:24,997
Your friend is in pain,
and all you can think about
111
00:04:24,999 --> 00:04:26,965
is scoring with a pretty girl.
112
00:04:26,967 --> 00:04:29,668
Really? You think you're
pretty? I don't see it.
113
00:04:29,670 --> 00:04:31,670
And you're wrong about me.
I do care about him.
114
00:04:31,672 --> 00:04:33,572
In fact, I have something
planned for him for later.
115
00:04:33,574 --> 00:04:35,274
It's gonna be
really exciting.
116
00:04:35,276 --> 00:04:36,575
Well, he doesn't seem
so excited.
117
00:04:36,577 --> 00:04:38,310
Well, he doesn't
know about it yet.
118
00:04:38,312 --> 00:04:40,279
So it's like
a surprise birthday party?
119
00:04:40,281 --> 00:04:43,315
Yes, like a surprise
birthday party!
120
00:04:43,317 --> 00:04:45,584
That's so nice.
So what do you
think of me now?
121
00:04:45,586 --> 00:04:48,487
FELIX:
I'll tell you what I think
of you, Oscar Madison.
122
00:04:48,489 --> 00:04:52,424
I think you are the best friend
a fella's ever had. Come here!
123
00:04:55,663 --> 00:04:57,663
(grunts)
124
00:04:57,665 --> 00:05:00,499
And don't worry, I will do
my best to look surprised.
125
00:05:00,501 --> 00:05:04,069
Is this a friend or what?
126
00:05:04,071 --> 00:05:07,072
Oscar, I thought
you were this gruff guy,
127
00:05:07,074 --> 00:05:09,441
but when I see
how protective you are of Felix,
128
00:05:09,443 --> 00:05:10,742
it's kind of sweet.
129
00:05:10,744 --> 00:05:13,378
So how about that drink?
130
00:05:13,380 --> 00:05:15,480
Well, I would really love to,
but I just remembered
131
00:05:15,482 --> 00:05:16,615
there's a few last-minute things
132
00:05:16,617 --> 00:05:18,350
I need to take care of
for tonight.
133
00:05:18,352 --> 00:05:19,618
I mean, all the big stuff's done
134
00:05:19,620 --> 00:05:21,386
'cause I planned this,
like, way in advance.
135
00:05:21,388 --> 00:05:23,355
But I do need to pop
into that party store,
136
00:05:23,357 --> 00:05:24,923
the one on, uh...
137
00:05:24,925 --> 00:05:25,924
71st Street?
138
00:05:25,926 --> 00:05:27,359
Yes. Good.
139
00:05:27,361 --> 00:05:29,328
And it has that
obscure cross street...
140
00:05:29,330 --> 00:05:31,096
Broadway?
Yes, that's the one.
141
00:05:31,098 --> 00:05:33,765
So I'll go there, and why don't
you go upstairs to sleep off
142
00:05:33,767 --> 00:05:35,834
some of that jet lag,
and I'll meet you here tonight.
143
00:05:35,836 --> 00:05:38,670
I thought you said
sleeping was bad for jet lag.
144
00:05:38,672 --> 00:05:40,839
You know I'm not really
a doctor, right?
145
00:05:47,848 --> 00:05:49,014
What's going on?
All I could hear
146
00:05:49,016 --> 00:05:50,449
on the phone was
"emergency."
147
00:05:50,451 --> 00:05:51,783
All I heard was
"life or death."
148
00:05:51,785 --> 00:05:53,985
"Doughnuts."
149
00:05:53,987 --> 00:05:56,455
Look, it's Felix's birthday,
and it kind of got past me,
150
00:05:56,457 --> 00:05:57,923
and I need you guys to help me
151
00:05:57,925 --> 00:06:00,125
put together a party
for tonight.
152
00:06:00,127 --> 00:06:01,893
This is your
life-or-death emergency?
153
00:06:01,895 --> 00:06:03,995
I figured you got shot
by a jealous husband
154
00:06:03,997 --> 00:06:06,131
or a... an angry athlete
or your ex-wife.
155
00:06:06,133 --> 00:06:07,899
Damn, a lot
of people hate you.
156
00:06:09,103 --> 00:06:10,502
I'm getting
a sinking feeling
157
00:06:10,504 --> 00:06:12,037
about the doughnuts.
158
00:06:13,507 --> 00:06:14,506
Oscar, you... you know
159
00:06:14,508 --> 00:06:15,741
this is my day off, right?
160
00:06:15,743 --> 00:06:16,942
Yes, but I didn't call you
161
00:06:16,944 --> 00:06:18,744
as my assistant;
I called you as my friend.
162
00:06:18,746 --> 00:06:19,811
No, Roy's your friend.
163
00:06:19,813 --> 00:06:21,513
I'm getting
time and a half.
164
00:06:21,515 --> 00:06:23,815
Come on, guys, this is Felix,
and he needs us.
165
00:06:23,817 --> 00:06:25,150
And it's just
a few small things.
166
00:06:25,152 --> 00:06:26,151
What do you need?
167
00:06:26,153 --> 00:06:27,986
Food and drinks.
168
00:06:27,988 --> 00:06:31,123
Also ice, cake, decorations,
gifts, music and guests.
169
00:06:32,893 --> 00:06:34,659
So you've done everything
except all of it.
170
00:06:34,661 --> 00:06:36,128
All right,
171
00:06:36,130 --> 00:06:37,963
I'll take care
of ice and guests.
172
00:06:37,965 --> 00:06:40,132
Oh, and I need you guys
to be the guests.
173
00:06:40,134 --> 00:06:41,500
Guests.
174
00:06:41,502 --> 00:06:43,668
All right, what the hell?
175
00:06:43,670 --> 00:06:45,570
My daughter's having
a sleepover tonight,
176
00:06:45,572 --> 00:06:48,073
so I'm happy
to get out of the house.
Where's Felix now?
177
00:06:48,075 --> 00:06:49,908
Oh, he'll be gone
the whole rest of the day.
178
00:06:49,910 --> 00:06:51,777
I sent him
to the Container Store.
179
00:06:51,779 --> 00:06:52,811
It's his happy place.
180
00:06:52,813 --> 00:06:54,179
He always says
181
00:06:54,181 --> 00:06:55,814
the only thing
that they can't contain
182
00:06:55,816 --> 00:06:57,916
is his enthusiasm
for the Container Store.
183
00:06:57,918 --> 00:07:00,051
(phone rings)
184
00:07:00,053 --> 00:07:02,721
Here you go,
Time and a Half.
185
00:07:02,723 --> 00:07:04,790
Oscar Madison's office.
186
00:07:04,792 --> 00:07:06,925
It's someone about the party.
187
00:07:06,927 --> 00:07:08,794
Yeah, I've been calling people
from a list of his contacts.
188
00:07:08,796 --> 00:07:11,830
Hi. Hello.
Yes, I didn't get your RSVP
189
00:07:11,832 --> 00:07:13,932
for Felix Unger's
birthday party.
190
00:07:14,768 --> 00:07:16,768
Really? Damn post office!
191
00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:19,438
No, you don't have to worry
about bringing a gift.
192
00:07:19,440 --> 00:07:21,940
Although, if it's on your way,
I could use 50 pounds of ice.
193
00:07:21,942 --> 00:07:23,809
Great.
194
00:07:23,811 --> 00:07:25,811
Ice.
195
00:07:25,813 --> 00:07:28,046
(violin playing)
196
00:07:30,517 --> 00:07:32,851
Okay, we got guests,
food, music.
197
00:07:32,853 --> 00:07:36,888
Isn't that the weird guy that
plays on the subway for change?
198
00:07:36,890 --> 00:07:38,190
Go away, Roy.
199
00:07:38,192 --> 00:07:40,025
And Teddy's coming by
later with the cake.
200
00:07:40,027 --> 00:07:41,793
Am I forgetting anything?
201
00:07:41,795 --> 00:07:44,496
Uh, let's see. To reimburse me
for all the stuff I bought.
202
00:07:44,498 --> 00:07:46,898
To tell me I look nice
for the party.
203
00:07:46,900 --> 00:07:49,901
To show some appreciation
for me working on my day off.
204
00:07:49,903 --> 00:07:52,103
I don't have a lot
of time. Pick one.
205
00:07:52,105 --> 00:07:55,040
(doorbell rings)
Tell me I look pretty.
206
00:07:55,042 --> 00:07:56,908
Well, you do.
You look beautiful.
207
00:07:56,910 --> 00:07:59,211
Boy, you better stop playing
with me.
208
00:08:02,749 --> 00:08:04,716
Hey, Emily, where's your sister?
209
00:08:04,718 --> 00:08:06,852
Until I was ten, I thought
"Where's your sister?"
210
00:08:06,854 --> 00:08:08,487
was my last name.
211
00:08:08,489 --> 00:08:10,989
Ooh, that must have been rough.
212
00:08:10,991 --> 00:08:12,190
So, you know, where is she?
213
00:08:12,192 --> 00:08:13,892
Casey's still getting ready,
214
00:08:13,894 --> 00:08:15,260
but it shouldn't take long.
215
00:08:15,262 --> 00:08:18,830
She just holds her arms out
and the birds dress her.
216
00:08:18,832 --> 00:08:20,265
Nice vacuum. Here,
217
00:08:20,267 --> 00:08:22,200
let me go in on that with you.
Here's 20 bucks.
218
00:08:22,202 --> 00:08:23,568
It cost $300.
219
00:08:23,570 --> 00:08:25,637
Well, write my name small.
220
00:08:25,639 --> 00:08:27,839
Here's your cake.
Sorry I can't stay.
221
00:08:27,841 --> 00:08:30,141
The hell you can't.
Hey, watch
your language.
222
00:08:35,749 --> 00:08:40,051
My wife reminded me that I
promised to host the sleepover.
223
00:08:40,053 --> 00:08:41,887
I'm not sure I did, but...
224
00:08:41,889 --> 00:08:44,789
is this the hill
I want to die on?
225
00:08:44,791 --> 00:08:45,891
Well, bring them in here.
226
00:08:45,893 --> 00:08:47,759
I need bodies to
fill out the room.
227
00:08:47,761 --> 00:08:50,595
But we're supposed to play games
and tell stories
228
00:08:50,597 --> 00:08:53,765
and have a tea party.
229
00:08:53,767 --> 00:08:55,233
You can do all that in here.
230
00:08:55,235 --> 00:08:57,168
This is the perfect place
to have a princess party.
231
00:08:57,170 --> 00:08:59,905
Is it okay to mix rum and
antianxiety medication?
232
00:08:59,907 --> 00:09:04,309
Welcome to the enchanted
castle, miladies.
233
00:09:04,311 --> 00:09:07,913
Milady.
Yeah.
234
00:09:07,915 --> 00:09:09,147
Hey, sweetie,
you remember Mr. Madison.
235
00:09:09,149 --> 00:09:10,849
He talks about sports
on the radio.
236
00:09:10,851 --> 00:09:12,684
Daddy's
favorite client.
237
00:09:12,686 --> 00:09:16,021
Oh, yeah. You take ten percent,
and he does all the work.
238
00:09:16,023 --> 00:09:17,689
(Teddy chuckles)
239
00:09:17,691 --> 00:09:19,858
Oh, honey, that's
an at-home joke.
240
00:09:19,860 --> 00:09:21,593
(jangling)
241
00:09:21,595 --> 00:09:23,028
Ooh, ooh. It's Felix.
242
00:09:23,030 --> 00:09:25,196
FELIX:
Oh, what a long,
disappointing day!
243
00:09:25,198 --> 00:09:27,732
No friends around
to cheer me up. Oh, well!
244
00:09:27,734 --> 00:09:29,034
I guess I'll just spend
245
00:09:29,036 --> 00:09:30,902
a quiet night alone
drinking tea.
246
00:09:30,904 --> 00:09:32,571
Just boil up some wa...
247
00:09:32,573 --> 00:09:34,339
wa... What?!
248
00:09:34,341 --> 00:09:35,874
ALL:
Surprise!
249
00:09:35,876 --> 00:09:37,809
Happy birthday, buddy.
Oh,
250
00:09:37,811 --> 00:09:40,211
Oscar, thank you.
This is exactly what I needed
251
00:09:40,213 --> 00:09:42,714
to keep my mind off of Ashley:
252
00:09:42,716 --> 00:09:44,749
being surrounded
by my closest...
253
00:09:44,751 --> 00:09:46,785
my close...
254
00:09:46,787 --> 00:09:48,920
my... I don't think
I know some of these people.
255
00:09:48,922 --> 00:09:50,889
What are you
talking about?
256
00:09:50,891 --> 00:09:53,725
There's your friend Ken and
your old neighbors the Fishers,
257
00:09:53,727 --> 00:09:54,993
who were kind
enough to bring ice.
258
00:09:54,995 --> 00:09:56,661
And there's your
favorite waitress
259
00:09:56,663 --> 00:09:58,930
from Santino's Deli,
who looks a lot different
260
00:09:58,932 --> 00:10:00,265
when she's not wearing
her name tag.
261
00:10:00,267 --> 00:10:02,734
Maureen.
Maureen. Yes. Maureen.
262
00:10:02,736 --> 00:10:04,202
Happy Birthday, Gluten-free.
263
00:10:04,204 --> 00:10:07,105
Thanks for coming,
Maureen.
264
00:10:07,107 --> 00:10:08,373
You got it, Extra Bacon.
265
00:10:10,377 --> 00:10:12,210
And I have a
surprise for you.
266
00:10:12,212 --> 00:10:14,980
I'm sure you'll recognize
eight-time NBA All-Star
267
00:10:14,982 --> 00:10:17,282
Dwight Howard.
268
00:10:19,753 --> 00:10:22,988
Hi, Felix. I'm eight-time
NBA All-Star Dwight Howard,
269
00:10:22,990 --> 00:10:25,090
and I want to wish you
a happy birthday.
270
00:10:25,092 --> 00:10:27,759
I hope it's a real slam dunk.
271
00:10:27,761 --> 00:10:30,128
Uh... thank you?
272
00:10:30,130 --> 00:10:31,830
Now, now,
273
00:10:31,832 --> 00:10:33,665
Dwight, let's not
hog the birthday boy.
274
00:10:33,667 --> 00:10:36,101
Roy, fix this man a drink.
275
00:10:37,704 --> 00:10:40,105
Oscar, you know I get paid
for appearances like this?
276
00:10:40,107 --> 00:10:42,073
Hey, you lost a bet, man.
That's what happens
277
00:10:42,075 --> 00:10:44,175
when you question
my Beyoncé knowledge.
278
00:10:45,145 --> 00:10:46,311
(grunts)
279
00:10:49,349 --> 00:10:52,317
Oh, did you just run out
and get this today?
280
00:10:52,319 --> 00:10:54,319
Oh, no, I bought it a month ago
281
00:10:54,321 --> 00:10:56,121
after I searched public records
282
00:10:56,123 --> 00:10:58,156
and found out when
Felix's birthday was.
283
00:10:58,158 --> 00:11:00,992
Mmm, sounds like somebody's
got a little crush.
284
00:11:00,994 --> 00:11:04,262
They're public records.
Anyone can look.
285
00:11:06,266 --> 00:11:09,034
Anyone with a crush.
286
00:11:09,036 --> 00:11:11,069
Hey. Hey, sorry I'm late.
287
00:11:11,071 --> 00:11:12,804
There she is,
the guest of honor.
288
00:11:12,806 --> 00:11:13,872
After Felix.
289
00:11:13,874 --> 00:11:15,940
Of course,
after Felix.
290
00:11:15,942 --> 00:11:18,076
Wow, it looks great.
Now, now.
291
00:11:18,078 --> 00:11:20,045
Tonight's not about me.
It's about my buddy Felix
292
00:11:20,047 --> 00:11:22,280
and how he was
pulled back from the abyss...
293
00:11:22,282 --> 00:11:24,916
by me.
294
00:11:24,918 --> 00:11:26,818
Speaking of which.
Happy birthday, Felix.
295
00:11:26,820 --> 00:11:28,086
Thank you. Oscar,
I was just having
296
00:11:28,088 --> 00:11:30,021
an odd conversation
with a man called Milos.
297
00:11:30,023 --> 00:11:31,823
Oh, you know Milos.
He's our FedEx guy.
298
00:11:31,825 --> 00:11:33,191
Loves Felix.
299
00:11:33,193 --> 00:11:35,260
Okay, well, he told me
he was delivering a package
300
00:11:35,262 --> 00:11:37,362
this afternoon
and you invited him.
Yes,
301
00:11:37,364 --> 00:11:40,098
invited him to RSVP to something
that I sent him a month ago.
302
00:11:40,100 --> 00:11:41,900
Look, I know
he's your friend, Felix,
303
00:11:41,902 --> 00:11:43,435
but next year,
I don't want him here.
304
00:11:43,437 --> 00:11:46,404
Come on.
305
00:11:46,406 --> 00:11:48,206
Do you like it,
Daddy?
306
00:11:48,208 --> 00:11:51,109
Ooh, I love it.
I look so beautiful. Mm.
307
00:11:51,111 --> 00:11:55,013
Doesn't he look
like a pretty princess?
308
00:11:55,015 --> 00:11:57,916
Well, Roy? Don't I look
like a pretty princess?
309
00:11:57,918 --> 00:11:59,984
Yes?
310
00:11:59,986 --> 00:12:02,053
Damn right. Keep walking.
311
00:12:03,323 --> 00:12:05,190
(violin playing)
312
00:12:05,192 --> 00:12:07,892
He is very good.
Where have I seen him play?
313
00:12:07,894 --> 00:12:09,728
He looks like the guy
who plays in the subway.
314
00:12:09,730 --> 00:12:11,329
All right, gifts,
everybody, gifts.
315
00:12:11,331 --> 00:12:13,998
Everybody gather
around the birthday boy.
316
00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:17,235
Uh, Oscar, shouldn't we do
the singing and cake first?
317
00:12:17,237 --> 00:12:18,937
We can do that
on your birthday, Roy.
318
00:12:18,939 --> 00:12:20,839
Oh. You know, I didn't
want to say anything,
319
00:12:20,841 --> 00:12:22,841
you know, 'cause Felix
is in kind of a bad place,
320
00:12:22,843 --> 00:12:24,242
but coincidentally,
today is also my b...
321
00:12:24,244 --> 00:12:26,878
Here we go.
Hooray!
322
00:12:26,880 --> 00:12:30,014
Wow, you guys
did not have to do this.
323
00:12:30,016 --> 00:12:32,016
Whoa, is this
what I think it is?
It is.
324
00:12:32,018 --> 00:12:34,119
It's from Casey and me.
325
00:12:34,121 --> 00:12:36,020
And me, but you'll see that
when you read the card.
326
00:12:36,022 --> 00:12:39,057
Wow. An actual Verschlagen.
327
00:12:39,059 --> 00:12:40,158
What is it, like
a fancy vacuum?
328
00:12:40,160 --> 00:12:41,392
Are you kidding me?
329
00:12:41,394 --> 00:12:43,194
The Verschlagen
makes the Wolfmarten
330
00:12:43,196 --> 00:12:44,462
look like a Steinlutz.
331
00:12:45,332 --> 00:12:47,966
Wow,
332
00:12:47,968 --> 00:12:50,101
these are not available in
America. How did you get this?
333
00:12:50,103 --> 00:12:52,904
Oh, it was nothing. I searched
online and I found a guy
334
00:12:52,906 --> 00:12:54,906
in Stuttgart who was
willing to make a trade.
335
00:12:54,908 --> 00:12:56,875
Once a month,
I just have to send him
336
00:12:56,877 --> 00:12:58,376
a picture of Casey's bare feet.
337
00:12:58,378 --> 00:13:00,512
Wait, what?
338
00:13:00,514 --> 00:13:02,046
Don't worry, I'll just do it
when you're sleeping.
339
00:13:02,048 --> 00:13:04,215
Well, thank you.
340
00:13:04,217 --> 00:13:06,217
We should take it
for a test drive.
341
00:13:06,219 --> 00:13:08,153
Open mine.
342
00:13:08,155 --> 00:13:09,854
Whoa.
343
00:13:09,856 --> 00:13:11,322
Oh, I see holes in the lid.
Mm-hmm.
344
00:13:11,324 --> 00:13:13,124
No, it can't be. I...
345
00:13:13,126 --> 00:13:16,227
(gasps)
Whoa. Oh.
346
00:13:16,229 --> 00:13:18,062
Aw.
Adorable.
347
00:13:18,064 --> 00:13:20,498
Right? She's so cheerful
and happy, and I thought
348
00:13:20,500 --> 00:13:22,066
you could use some company.
349
00:13:22,068 --> 00:13:25,136
That is so thoughtful of you.
350
00:13:25,138 --> 00:13:27,438
You know, this bird
is actually quite symbolic.
351
00:13:27,440 --> 00:13:28,473
(bird tweets)
352
00:13:28,475 --> 00:13:29,974
Look at her,
353
00:13:29,976 --> 00:13:31,509
singing her happy song,
354
00:13:31,511 --> 00:13:34,312
even as she starts a new
life in a strange place.
355
00:13:34,314 --> 00:13:36,881
Maybe I, too, should be
looking forward to the future
356
00:13:36,883 --> 00:13:40,051
with optimism and hope.
357
00:13:40,053 --> 00:13:41,986
In fact, that will be your name.
358
00:13:41,988 --> 00:13:43,421
Aw. (chuckles)
Hope.
359
00:13:46,860 --> 00:13:48,159
Sorry.
360
00:13:48,161 --> 00:13:51,062
Um, hey, Oscar,
it's a great party, but my
361
00:13:51,064 --> 00:13:53,231
flight leaves
in eight hours, so...
No, no, don't leave.
362
00:13:53,233 --> 00:13:55,400
I was thinking maybe we could go
to my place and have that drink.
363
00:13:55,402 --> 00:13:57,602
Leave, leave.
Why are we standing here?
364
00:13:59,873 --> 00:14:01,506
Wow, Maureen,
365
00:14:01,508 --> 00:14:04,442
that is a lot of half and half.
366
00:14:04,444 --> 00:14:06,277
Label says they're expired,
but don't worry--
367
00:14:06,279 --> 00:14:08,246
they always build in
some wiggle room.
368
00:14:09,449 --> 00:14:12,283
I will cherish these until...
last September.
369
00:14:14,988 --> 00:14:17,355
♪ Good night, ladies ♪
370
00:14:18,325 --> 00:14:20,391
♪ Good night, ladies ♪
371
00:14:21,394 --> 00:14:23,595
♪ Good night, ladies ♪
372
00:14:23,597 --> 00:14:26,297
What's happening?
What am I watching?
373
00:14:26,299 --> 00:14:30,168
♪ We're going to
leave you now. ♪
374
00:14:30,170 --> 00:14:31,870
Jim. (laughs)
375
00:14:31,872 --> 00:14:34,272
Jim and I were in a singing
group together in college.
376
00:14:34,274 --> 00:14:35,974
That doesn't make it okay.
377
00:14:35,976 --> 00:14:38,276
Great to see you, Jim.
378
00:14:38,278 --> 00:14:40,044
You look great.
Where's Ashley?
379
00:14:42,282 --> 00:14:44,015
Oh, um...
380
00:14:44,017 --> 00:14:45,183
No, we're, uh...
381
00:14:45,185 --> 00:14:48,286
You split up?
But you were so happy.
382
00:14:49,289 --> 00:14:50,588
We were, yes.
383
00:14:50,590 --> 00:14:52,290
I'm shocked.
384
00:14:52,292 --> 00:14:54,125
We all thought you were
the perfect couple.
385
00:14:54,127 --> 00:14:55,660
I thought so, too.
386
00:14:55,662 --> 00:14:59,497
♪ The sun'll come out ♪
387
00:14:59,499 --> 00:15:01,366
♪ To... ♪
Great to see you, Jim.
388
00:15:03,303 --> 00:15:06,304
I got the Verschlagen working.
389
00:15:10,310 --> 00:15:12,410
(bird shrieking)
(Felix screaming)
390
00:15:12,412 --> 00:15:14,279
Oh, God! Make it stop...
Rever... Reverse
the flow.
391
00:15:14,281 --> 00:15:16,681
Reverse it.
Make it stop.
I don't know how. I can't.
392
00:15:16,683 --> 00:15:18,950
Oh...
393
00:15:25,258 --> 00:15:28,293
I'm so sorry, Felix, it...
394
00:15:28,295 --> 00:15:29,961
it looks like Hope is gone.
395
00:15:31,231 --> 00:15:33,231
For a brief moment,
you had Hope,
396
00:15:33,233 --> 00:15:35,166
but no more.
397
00:15:41,541 --> 00:15:43,942
When you find your soul mate,
it's like this radar
398
00:15:43,944 --> 00:15:46,277
that goes,
"Ping, that's the one.
399
00:15:46,279 --> 00:15:49,247
Ping, that's the one."
400
00:15:49,249 --> 00:15:52,116
But the question is,
when she leaves,
401
00:15:52,118 --> 00:15:55,153
how do you stop pinging?
402
00:15:56,556 --> 00:15:59,023
Because that...
403
00:15:59,025 --> 00:16:01,092
that is the torture.
404
00:16:04,164 --> 00:16:06,431
You're making Buddy sad.
405
00:16:06,433 --> 00:16:07,549
Sorry, Buddy.
406
00:16:07,550 --> 00:16:08,666
I guess what I'm saying, girls,
407
00:16:08,668 --> 00:16:10,301
is life is not
like a princess movie.
408
00:16:10,303 --> 00:16:11,302
Sometimes the princess leaves.
409
00:16:11,304 --> 00:16:12,704
Why?
410
00:16:12,706 --> 00:16:15,006
Oh. Good luck getting
a straight answer.
411
00:16:15,008 --> 00:16:16,307
No, it could be
a million things.
412
00:16:16,309 --> 00:16:18,409
Could be the way
that he re-cleans the castle
413
00:16:18,411 --> 00:16:20,111
after she spent
the whole day on it.
414
00:16:20,113 --> 00:16:21,379
Maybe it's his insistence
415
00:16:21,381 --> 00:16:23,715
on the proper usage
of the word "whom."
416
00:16:23,717 --> 00:16:26,351
A prince doesn't
let a princess get away.
417
00:16:26,353 --> 00:16:27,652
Even if she hates him.
418
00:16:27,654 --> 00:16:30,188
He always comes back.
419
00:16:30,190 --> 00:16:33,358
Even if it takes 100 years.
420
00:16:39,065 --> 00:16:40,732
Oh, God... Oh, God,
I'm sorry about the mess.
421
00:16:40,734 --> 00:16:42,200
I hate to clean.
422
00:16:42,202 --> 00:16:44,235
Marry me.
Whoa,
423
00:16:44,237 --> 00:16:45,436
I didn't realize
it had gotten so late.
424
00:16:45,438 --> 00:16:47,305
My plane leaves in seven hours.
425
00:16:47,307 --> 00:16:48,740
Seven hours, huh?
Usually I'd insist
426
00:16:48,742 --> 00:16:50,508
on stretching first,
but since we're in a race
427
00:16:50,510 --> 00:16:52,543
against the clock, I'll just
have you sign a release.
428
00:16:52,545 --> 00:16:54,178
Do you have a pen?
429
00:16:57,317 --> 00:16:59,417
Casey, I'm looking for Oscar.
430
00:16:59,419 --> 00:17:00,785
He's not here.
431
00:17:00,787 --> 00:17:02,120
Felix disappeared
from the party,
432
00:17:02,122 --> 00:17:03,287
and he seemed really depressed.
433
00:17:03,289 --> 00:17:04,655
He's not answering his phone.
434
00:17:04,657 --> 00:17:06,457
I mean, what if he's out
wandering the streets?
435
00:17:06,459 --> 00:17:09,494
Well, you've got a Verschlagen.
Just suck him back up.
436
00:17:09,496 --> 00:17:10,528
Oscar.
437
00:17:10,530 --> 00:17:12,030
(sighs)
438
00:17:12,032 --> 00:17:14,165
Did he just leave?
Did he talk to anybody?
439
00:17:14,167 --> 00:17:16,501
Last time I saw him, he was
talking to the princesses.
440
00:17:16,503 --> 00:17:18,302
They were having tea
441
00:17:18,304 --> 00:17:20,605
and talking about true love
and happy endings.
442
00:17:21,708 --> 00:17:23,541
I think I know
where he went.
443
00:17:23,543 --> 00:17:25,410
Well, where? I'll go get him.
No, I'll go.
444
00:17:25,412 --> 00:17:28,413
Oscar, why don't we let
Emily go get him?
445
00:17:28,415 --> 00:17:31,482
No, I should go.
He needs a friend right now.
446
00:17:32,519 --> 00:17:33,718
I'm going.
447
00:17:34,654 --> 00:17:36,054
Here I go.
448
00:17:36,056 --> 00:17:37,255
I can't move.
449
00:17:37,257 --> 00:17:38,489
My body's at war
with itself.
450
00:17:38,491 --> 00:17:39,791
No, this feels wrong.
451
00:17:42,228 --> 00:17:45,363
He's been doing that
nearly an hour.
452
00:17:45,365 --> 00:17:47,632
Just around...
453
00:17:50,070 --> 00:17:53,237
...and around.
454
00:17:53,239 --> 00:17:55,173
Guess I should tell him
we're closing soon.
455
00:17:55,175 --> 00:17:57,642
Just give me one second
with him. It's his birthday.
456
00:17:57,644 --> 00:18:00,344
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
457
00:18:00,346 --> 00:18:02,413
No one allowed past that
line without skates.
458
00:18:15,495 --> 00:18:16,561
Felix.
459
00:18:20,433 --> 00:18:22,567
Oscar. What are you doing here?
460
00:18:22,569 --> 00:18:24,368
I came to bring you
back to the party.
461
00:18:24,370 --> 00:18:25,636
Everybody's
worried about you.
462
00:18:25,638 --> 00:18:27,238
I'm not leaving till they close.
463
00:18:28,508 --> 00:18:30,775
I don't think she's
coming back, man.
464
00:18:30,777 --> 00:18:33,277
How do you know?
Maybe she had a change of heart
465
00:18:33,279 --> 00:18:34,545
or she got stuck in traffic
466
00:18:34,547 --> 00:18:35,780
or a million other things.
467
00:18:35,782 --> 00:18:37,615
I know this is really hard,
468
00:18:37,617 --> 00:18:39,450
but you got to let it go.
469
00:18:41,788 --> 00:18:43,821
Do you think that she at least
thought about it?
470
00:18:43,823 --> 00:18:45,690
Do you think that she
looked at the date
471
00:18:45,692 --> 00:18:47,592
and was tempted
to see if I was here?
472
00:18:47,594 --> 00:18:48,826
Of course she thought...
473
00:18:52,599 --> 00:18:54,665
I've fallen.
474
00:18:56,202 --> 00:18:58,703
Just give me one second.
Okay, okay, sure.
475
00:19:00,607 --> 00:19:03,674
You know, this is probably a
really hard day for Ashley, too.
476
00:19:03,676 --> 00:19:05,409
Did you ever
think of that?
477
00:19:05,411 --> 00:19:07,445
No.
478
00:19:07,447 --> 00:19:09,313
Look, I don't know what's
going on over there,
479
00:19:09,315 --> 00:19:10,915
but I can guarantee
you one thing:
480
00:19:10,917 --> 00:19:12,750
she didn't forget you.
481
00:19:12,752 --> 00:19:15,753
Felix Unger is many things,
but he's not forgettable.
482
00:19:17,223 --> 00:19:19,624
Thank you, Oscar.
You are a good friend.
483
00:19:19,626 --> 00:19:22,493
No, I'm not.
Why not?
484
00:19:22,495 --> 00:19:24,629
I completely forgot about
your birthday, and I just
485
00:19:24,631 --> 00:19:26,631
threw the whole party
together at the last minute.
486
00:19:26,633 --> 00:19:29,800
Yes, yes, I kind of
figured that out.
487
00:19:29,802 --> 00:19:32,436
Really? How?
Well, the guest list
gave it away.
488
00:19:32,438 --> 00:19:34,839
Also, I caught
the violinist using my shower.
Ah.
489
00:19:36,643 --> 00:19:38,609
Still, you are a good friend.
490
00:19:38,611 --> 00:19:40,578
Aw, how can you say that?
491
00:19:40,580 --> 00:19:42,813
Because you showed up.
492
00:19:44,651 --> 00:19:46,717
Oh. We should go.
493
00:19:49,722 --> 00:19:52,456
Ooh, that knee
does not look good.
494
00:19:52,458 --> 00:19:55,193
You know what? I have a first
aid kit back at the apartment.
495
00:19:59,199 --> 00:20:00,665
You know, when you
say it that way,
496
00:20:00,667 --> 00:20:02,400
it does sound
like a sexual ploy.
497
00:20:10,944 --> 00:20:12,777
So, you going over to Casey's?
498
00:20:12,779 --> 00:20:15,680
No, it's past midnight.
I think I blew it.
499
00:20:15,682 --> 00:20:17,782
(phone dings)
That you?
500
00:20:17,784 --> 00:20:20,284
Yes.
501
00:20:20,286 --> 00:20:21,953
Oh.
502
00:20:21,955 --> 00:20:23,721
"Hope you had a good birthday."
503
00:20:23,723 --> 00:20:25,656
Ashley?
504
00:20:25,658 --> 00:20:27,658
Yeah.
Oh, that's great, buddy.
505
00:20:27,660 --> 00:20:29,327
I'm glad. You deserve it.
506
00:20:29,329 --> 00:20:30,861
(phone dings)
507
00:20:30,863 --> 00:20:32,363
That's you.
508
00:20:32,365 --> 00:20:34,632
"This is what
I'm wearing right now."
509
00:20:34,634 --> 00:20:36,734
Yikes.
510
00:20:36,736 --> 00:20:39,337
Casey?
Maureen the waitress,
511
00:20:39,339 --> 00:20:40,771
wearing only her name tag.
512
00:20:40,773 --> 00:20:42,773
Yikes.
513
00:20:42,775 --> 00:20:45,376
Well, this phone's ruined.
Happy birthday, buddy.
514
00:20:47,547 --> 00:20:48,546
That's a funny place
for a name tag.
515
00:20:48,548 --> 00:20:50,448
Captioning sponsored by
CBS
516
00:20:50,449 --> 00:20:52,349
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org