1
00:00:02,903 --> 00:00:04,469
All right, guys, this is
the last game in the season.
2
00:00:04,471 --> 00:00:06,471
If we dig deep,
the Coed C-League
3
00:00:06,473 --> 00:00:08,874
Slow-Pitch Consolation title
will be ours.
4
00:00:08,876 --> 00:00:10,375
Yeah!
Yes.
5
00:00:10,377 --> 00:00:11,944
Hey, Felix,
what's our snack for today?
6
00:00:11,946 --> 00:00:13,745
Oh, nothing fancy.
7
00:00:13,747 --> 00:00:17,349
Just a hearty Tuscan white bean
soup and crusty peasant bread.
8
00:00:17,351 --> 00:00:19,318
There's no soup in softball.
9
00:00:19,320 --> 00:00:22,387
Hey... I only do
this for the soup.
10
00:00:22,389 --> 00:00:25,591
Hey, guys.
11
00:00:25,593 --> 00:00:27,693
Oh, God.
What happened?
12
00:00:27,695 --> 00:00:29,661
Why are you limping?
I was hanging out at
13
00:00:29,663 --> 00:00:31,597
this girl's apartment;
I pulled my groin.
14
00:00:31,599 --> 00:00:32,898
(all groan)
15
00:00:32,900 --> 00:00:35,567
Hey, it wasn't during sex.
16
00:00:35,569 --> 00:00:37,402
It was after,
when her boyfriend came home
17
00:00:37,404 --> 00:00:38,837
and I had to jump
out the window.
18
00:00:39,974 --> 00:00:41,573
You're a class act, Murph.
19
00:00:41,575 --> 00:00:43,442
Right back at ya, Emily.
20
00:00:46,247 --> 00:00:47,779
This is great.
Out of all the people
21
00:00:47,781 --> 00:00:50,549
to get injured, it had to be
the former pro ballplayer.
22
00:00:50,551 --> 00:00:52,951
Oh, you guys are
gonna be fine without me.
23
00:00:52,953 --> 00:00:54,886
Hey, man, I'm Murph.
24
00:00:54,888 --> 00:00:56,722
Yeah, I know.
25
00:00:56,724 --> 00:00:58,724
We play in the
outfield together.
26
00:00:58,726 --> 00:01:00,259
All season.
27
00:01:00,995 --> 00:01:02,861
Roy...?
28
00:01:02,863 --> 00:01:04,763
What's up, Roy? Hey.
Aw, geez.
29
00:01:04,765 --> 00:01:07,566
Hey, Murph, I've got some muscle
ointment, if you'd like some.
30
00:01:07,568 --> 00:01:09,701
Are you a lavender guy
or more of a wild rose?
31
00:01:09,703 --> 00:01:11,470
(chuckles):
I don't care.
32
00:01:11,472 --> 00:01:12,771
Lavender.
33
00:01:12,773 --> 00:01:15,040
Of course, I only have
the spray kind,
34
00:01:15,042 --> 00:01:16,608
because some people
are uncomfortable
35
00:01:16,610 --> 00:01:17,909
applying ointment to a friend.
36
00:01:17,911 --> 00:01:20,879
Hi, I'm Some People.
37
00:01:20,881 --> 00:01:22,581
What are we gonna do
without Murph?
38
00:01:22,583 --> 00:01:24,449
Yeah, it's bad enough
the league requires us
39
00:01:24,451 --> 00:01:25,550
to have girls
on the team.
40
00:01:25,552 --> 00:01:27,352
I know you're not
talking about me
41
00:01:27,354 --> 00:01:30,422
and my .375 average,
Mr. Too Slow to Steal a Base.
42
00:01:30,424 --> 00:01:32,724
I had a belly full of soup.
43
00:01:33,627 --> 00:01:34,993
We better find somebody quick,
44
00:01:34,995 --> 00:01:36,495
or we're not gonna
have enough players.
45
00:01:36,497 --> 00:01:38,664
Who are we gonna get?
The game starts in 20 minutes.
46
00:01:38,666 --> 00:01:40,432
I could do it.
47
00:01:43,537 --> 00:01:45,937
Roy, didn't your wife
play in college?
48
00:01:45,939 --> 00:01:49,841
I only do this to avoid my wife.
49
00:01:49,843 --> 00:01:51,376
Perhaps you didn't hear me.
50
00:01:51,378 --> 00:01:53,445
I'm available!
51
00:01:53,447 --> 00:01:54,913
How about Lisa down the hall?
52
00:01:55,949 --> 00:01:57,749
Guys, give me a chance!
53
00:01:57,751 --> 00:01:59,951
Felix, have you ever
played softball?
54
00:01:59,953 --> 00:02:02,087
Well, no, I always wanted to,
but softball season
55
00:02:02,089 --> 00:02:04,423
always conflicted
with the fall musical.
56
00:02:04,425 --> 00:02:06,091
Which one year was
Damn Yankees, so...
57
00:02:06,093 --> 00:02:07,659
♪ Whaddya say, boys? ♪
58
00:02:09,029 --> 00:02:10,662
The boys say no.
59
00:02:10,664 --> 00:02:12,464
♪ Ah, put me in, Coach ♪
60
00:02:12,466 --> 00:02:15,600
♪ I won't let ya down! ♪
61
00:02:17,104 --> 00:02:19,905
Felix, do you even have a mitt?
62
00:02:19,907 --> 00:02:22,574
I have an oven mitt.
63
00:02:22,576 --> 00:02:24,609
All right, you can play.
64
00:02:24,611 --> 00:02:26,078
Oh, great. I'll get my sneakers.
65
00:02:26,080 --> 00:02:27,612
We'll put him
in right field.
66
00:02:27,614 --> 00:02:28,747
(chuckles):
Oh, wonderful.
67
00:02:28,749 --> 00:02:30,816
The position by
the long cabana.
68
00:02:34,054 --> 00:02:35,620
Oh, the dugout.
69
00:02:35,622 --> 00:02:37,089
ALL:
Oh!
70
00:02:37,091 --> 00:02:38,790
It's like a cabana!
It's like a cabana...
71
00:03:02,449 --> 00:03:03,982
PLAYERS (chanting):
Felix! Felix! Felix!
72
00:03:03,984 --> 00:03:05,117
(laughter)
73
00:03:05,119 --> 00:03:06,785
Thanks for
letting me play, fellas.
74
00:03:06,787 --> 00:03:08,587
Actually, we should
be thanking you.
75
00:03:08,589 --> 00:03:10,622
You're the one that drove
Amy in for the winning run.
76
00:03:10,624 --> 00:03:12,591
Technically,
he bunted her in.
77
00:03:12,593 --> 00:03:13,992
Yeah, because technically,
78
00:03:13,994 --> 00:03:16,461
you struck out
with the bases loaded.
79
00:03:16,463 --> 00:03:17,929
Then you got mad,
kicked the ground,
80
00:03:17,931 --> 00:03:20,432
missed that, too,
and fell on your ass. (laughs)
81
00:03:20,434 --> 00:03:24,569
Maybe that's because there
was soup on home plate.
82
00:03:26,540 --> 00:03:27,606
Well, luckily Felix
bailed you out.
83
00:03:27,608 --> 00:03:29,841
You got some quick hands.
84
00:03:29,843 --> 00:03:31,443
Oh, thank you.
It's my cello training.
85
00:03:32,546 --> 00:03:33,879
There's a reason
86
00:03:33,881 --> 00:03:35,480
we're the bad boys of
the string quartet.
87
00:03:35,482 --> 00:03:36,815
(Felix laughs)
88
00:03:36,817 --> 00:03:38,517
Now if you excuse me,
I've had my hand
89
00:03:38,519 --> 00:03:40,118
in a strange man's mitt.
90
00:03:40,120 --> 00:03:41,553
No offense, Murph.
91
00:03:41,555 --> 00:03:43,822
Oh, none understood.
92
00:03:43,824 --> 00:03:46,525
This has got to be
killing you.
93
00:03:46,527 --> 00:03:47,993
What are you talking about?
94
00:03:47,995 --> 00:03:49,461
That you were
shown up by a guy
95
00:03:49,463 --> 00:03:52,164
who addresses the umpire
as "Your Honor."
96
00:03:52,166 --> 00:03:55,534
Come on, take it
easy on Oscar.
97
00:03:55,536 --> 00:03:57,536
It happens sometimes.
98
00:03:57,538 --> 00:04:00,205
Is a sentence
no guy likes to hear ever.
99
00:04:00,207 --> 00:04:01,840
I got to go.
100
00:04:01,842 --> 00:04:03,608
Thanks for letting me
play this season.
Bye, girl.
101
00:04:03,610 --> 00:04:06,878
Hey, uh, Amy, the league
has a strict rule
102
00:04:06,880 --> 00:04:09,581
that at the end of the season,
the captain has to take
103
00:04:09,583 --> 00:04:11,616
one of the players out
to a romantic dinner.
104
00:04:11,618 --> 00:04:15,587
Wow. What a specific
and weird rule.
105
00:04:15,589 --> 00:04:16,922
So will you help me out?
106
00:04:16,924 --> 00:04:19,024
I really don't want
to have to take Roy out again.
107
00:04:21,829 --> 00:04:24,162
Hey, I love your earrings.
Did you make them?
108
00:04:24,164 --> 00:04:25,964
Oh, I did. They're
part of my collection.
109
00:04:25,966 --> 00:04:27,899
Are they for sale?
110
00:04:27,901 --> 00:04:30,135
'Cause I'd love to buy a couple
pairs for my mom and sister.
111
00:04:30,137 --> 00:04:32,137
Yes, they're for sale.
They're so for sale.
112
00:04:32,139 --> 00:04:36,808
Uh, two pairs,
that'll be... $200.
113
00:04:36,810 --> 00:04:38,643
That's it?
114
00:04:38,645 --> 00:04:40,745
I would've thought they'd be
at least a thousand.
115
00:04:40,747 --> 00:04:42,747
Really?
116
00:04:42,749 --> 00:04:45,650
Oh, well, in that case,
thank you and damn it.
117
00:04:47,588 --> 00:04:48,753
That was so much fun.
118
00:04:48,755 --> 00:04:51,656
We should do
sports more often.
119
00:04:51,658 --> 00:04:53,525
Yeah, too bad it was the
last game of the season.
120
00:04:53,527 --> 00:04:55,527
Oh, well.
121
00:04:55,529 --> 00:04:57,762
Well, there are other sports.
You like basketball, don't you?
122
00:04:57,764 --> 00:05:00,265
Hey, did you know that there is
a basketball court at my gym.
123
00:05:00,267 --> 00:05:01,867
I know because
I dart through there
124
00:05:01,869 --> 00:05:04,836
on the way
to my abs and buns class.
125
00:05:04,838 --> 00:05:06,204
You got lucky
today, Felix.
126
00:05:06,206 --> 00:05:08,607
Just enjoy the win,
quietly.
127
00:05:08,609 --> 00:05:11,943
Sounds like someone's afraid
of a second beat-down.
128
00:05:11,945 --> 00:05:13,278
OTHERS:
Oh!
129
00:05:13,280 --> 00:05:14,579
Oh, yeah, Oscar.
130
00:05:14,581 --> 00:05:16,548
Afraid that I'm gonna
bring the pain?
131
00:05:16,550 --> 00:05:19,851
That's what Estoban says
in my buns class.
132
00:05:19,853 --> 00:05:21,686
All right, Felix, we
can play basketball.
133
00:05:21,688 --> 00:05:23,955
All right!
Game's on!
134
00:05:23,957 --> 00:05:27,225
(imitates seal barking)
135
00:05:27,227 --> 00:05:28,593
All right, you're done.
136
00:05:32,232 --> 00:05:34,566
Okay, we'll play
"make it, take it" rules.
137
00:05:34,568 --> 00:05:36,635
Means if I make a basket,
I keep the ball
138
00:05:36,637 --> 00:05:38,303
unless I miss
or you steal it.
139
00:05:38,305 --> 00:05:41,973
Okay. In the spirit of
sportsmanship, you may go first.
140
00:05:41,975 --> 00:05:44,543
Ah, your first mistake.
Once I get on a roll...
141
00:05:44,545 --> 00:05:46,745
The cellist strikes!
142
00:05:50,951 --> 00:05:52,584
I make it,
so I take it.
143
00:05:52,586 --> 00:05:54,619
You don't have to say that
every time.
144
00:05:54,621 --> 00:05:55,787
Ooh, I'm in your head.
145
00:05:55,789 --> 00:05:57,656
All right, this time
I'm ready for you.
146
00:06:02,229 --> 00:06:03,562
Two-nothing!
147
00:06:03,564 --> 00:06:04,963
I make it,
so I take it!
148
00:06:07,701 --> 00:06:08,967
God, that was exhilarating.
149
00:06:08,969 --> 00:06:10,835
Yeah. Exhilarating.
150
00:06:10,837 --> 00:06:12,137
Who won?
151
00:06:12,139 --> 00:06:14,706
It doesn't matter.
I did!
152
00:06:14,708 --> 00:06:16,308
Wow! Congratulations, Felix.
153
00:06:16,310 --> 00:06:18,610
Oh, not just to me-- you would
have been proud of our boy.
154
00:06:18,612 --> 00:06:19,878
He really hung in there.
Right, champ?
155
00:06:19,880 --> 00:06:21,012
Ow.
156
00:06:21,014 --> 00:06:22,814
Wow, still
really sweaty.
157
00:06:22,816 --> 00:06:25,016
I feel like
you're patronizing me.
158
00:06:25,018 --> 00:06:26,851
What do you mean?
159
00:06:26,853 --> 00:06:29,621
It's bad enough to lose, but
to lose to somebody like you...
160
00:06:29,623 --> 00:06:31,623
Ooh!
161
00:06:31,625 --> 00:06:34,693
I'm sorry, did you say
"someone like you"?
162
00:06:34,695 --> 00:06:36,995
Ooh...!
163
00:06:36,997 --> 00:06:40,599
Uh, I think I left
my, uh, thing in a place.
164
00:06:42,069 --> 00:06:43,835
When you say someone like me,
what exactly do you mean?
165
00:06:43,837 --> 00:06:46,037
Do you mean a
freelance photographer?
No.
166
00:06:46,039 --> 00:06:47,772
Do you mean a Virgo
with a Pisces rising?
167
00:06:47,774 --> 00:06:49,708
No.
Do you mean a wimp?
168
00:06:49,710 --> 00:06:51,009
Your words, not mine.
Ah!
169
00:06:51,011 --> 00:06:52,644
Oh, come on, Felix,
admit it,
170
00:06:52,646 --> 00:06:54,279
you're not exactly
a guy's guy.
171
00:06:54,281 --> 00:06:56,014
Why? Because I use coasters?
172
00:06:56,016 --> 00:06:58,183
Because I sing the occasional
aria in the shower?
173
00:06:58,185 --> 00:07:01,620
Because I know the pleats
on a kilt go in the back?!
174
00:07:01,622 --> 00:07:04,189
I feel like you're
trying my case for me.
175
00:07:04,191 --> 00:07:06,257
I thought today was about
bonding and fellowship,
176
00:07:06,259 --> 00:07:08,627
but it turns out
you just wanted to beat me
177
00:07:08,629 --> 00:07:09,995
so you could feel superior.
178
00:07:09,997 --> 00:07:12,364
Well, guess what, sir,
you have poked the dragon.
179
00:07:13,834 --> 00:07:15,767
And you would know
what that means if you ever
180
00:07:15,769 --> 00:07:18,003
watched even one
Game of Thrones with me.
181
00:07:18,005 --> 00:07:19,638
I don't need to
watch the show
182
00:07:19,640 --> 00:07:22,841
to know that it's bad
to poke a dragon.
183
00:07:22,843 --> 00:07:24,976
Well, I have already
bested you at two sports,
184
00:07:24,978 --> 00:07:27,879
but if you'd like another
drubbing-- yes, that's a word--
185
00:07:27,881 --> 00:07:29,881
I will oblige you.
186
00:07:29,883 --> 00:07:31,850
I feel like you'll just pick
something else you're good at,
187
00:07:31,852 --> 00:07:33,351
like crochet.
188
00:07:33,353 --> 00:07:34,686
You mean croquet.
189
00:07:34,688 --> 00:07:36,821
No, I don't.
190
00:07:36,823 --> 00:07:39,290
Well, guess who is not
getting mittens this Christmas.
191
00:07:40,661 --> 00:07:42,961
Perhaps your disdain
will keep you warm.
192
00:07:44,965 --> 00:07:47,732
Pick a real sport, and
I'll beat you at it.
193
00:07:47,734 --> 00:07:51,036
Okay, I say we settle this
like the ancient Greeks.
194
00:07:51,038 --> 00:07:53,805
I don't like where
this is going.
195
00:07:53,807 --> 00:07:56,241
We each pick five events--
a classic decathlon.
196
00:07:56,243 --> 00:07:57,242
You're on!
197
00:07:57,244 --> 00:07:58,309
It's settled then.
198
00:07:58,311 --> 00:08:00,211
Decathlon at dawn!
199
00:08:00,213 --> 00:08:02,080
Dawn?
200
00:08:02,082 --> 00:08:03,281
No, you're right.
201
00:08:03,283 --> 00:08:05,150
Decathlon at a reasonable hour!
202
00:08:12,993 --> 00:08:16,027
Hey! I sold a bracelet
on a Web site.
203
00:08:16,029 --> 00:08:17,962
Congratulations!
I know!
204
00:08:17,964 --> 00:08:19,698
I sent it off,
and she promised me
205
00:08:19,700 --> 00:08:21,099
that the check
is in the mail.
206
00:08:22,436 --> 00:08:24,703
I'm bad at this, aren't I?
207
00:08:24,705 --> 00:08:26,838
Why are you stretching?
208
00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:29,007
Oh, Oscar and I are
competing in a decathlon,
209
00:08:29,009 --> 00:08:31,376
and I don't want to pull
anything when I kick his ass.
210
00:08:31,378 --> 00:08:34,145
That doesn't sound like you.
211
00:08:34,147 --> 00:08:35,847
Yes, I apologize
for the salty language,
212
00:08:35,849 --> 00:08:36,948
but he really pushed my buttons.
213
00:08:36,950 --> 00:08:38,450
He said I wasn't a guy's guy.
214
00:08:41,354 --> 00:08:43,088
That's crazy.
215
00:08:43,090 --> 00:08:45,056
Is it?
216
00:08:45,058 --> 00:08:47,726
You know, I really wasn't
much of a jock growing up.
217
00:08:47,728 --> 00:08:50,729
Although, junior year,
I was voted "Most Limber Boy."
218
00:08:51,398 --> 00:08:52,864
But mostly I was just
219
00:08:52,866 --> 00:08:54,899
the kid picked last for teams.
220
00:08:54,901 --> 00:08:58,870
I pretended like I didn't care,
but... it really hurt.
221
00:08:58,872 --> 00:09:01,906
Yesterday, I was right
back there on that playground.
222
00:09:01,908 --> 00:09:03,942
I'm so sorry.
223
00:09:03,944 --> 00:09:05,977
Yes, well, today,
I take a stand
224
00:09:05,979 --> 00:09:09,047
for every boy that was
limber and laughed at.
225
00:09:13,320 --> 00:09:16,488
Maybe don't do a ballet pose
when you say that.
226
00:09:16,490 --> 00:09:19,357
It's just the way
my body rests.
227
00:09:20,994 --> 00:09:23,161
Look at him,
all smug and bendy.
228
00:09:23,163 --> 00:09:25,096
He's not the only one
who can stretch.
229
00:09:25,098 --> 00:09:28,166
(whines)
230
00:09:28,168 --> 00:09:30,135
Why are you so worked up
about all this?
231
00:09:30,137 --> 00:09:32,003
Because he's attacking me
on my home turf,
232
00:09:32,005 --> 00:09:33,772
and I got to defend myself.
233
00:09:34,941 --> 00:09:36,241
A little help?
234
00:09:38,979 --> 00:09:42,347
Oh, great, now it's asleep.
235
00:09:42,349 --> 00:09:44,783
You ready?
236
00:09:44,785 --> 00:09:46,785
Ooh, I was born ready.
237
00:09:46,787 --> 00:09:49,521
And covered in a downy fur.
238
00:09:49,523 --> 00:09:52,357
I was in the local paper.
239
00:09:52,359 --> 00:09:54,526
First event's at the gym.
Let's do this.
240
00:09:54,528 --> 00:09:57,128
Yeah, let's get it on,
Greek style!
241
00:09:57,130 --> 00:09:59,130
I'm gonna ask you
to walk in front of me
242
00:09:59,132 --> 00:10:01,032
when you say stuff like that.
243
00:10:01,034 --> 00:10:03,101
♪ ♪
244
00:10:20,053 --> 00:10:21,052
(thudding)
245
00:10:21,054 --> 00:10:22,520
(laughs) Oh, my God.
246
00:10:22,522 --> 00:10:24,189
♪ ♪
247
00:10:51,585 --> 00:10:53,384
(sneezes)
248
00:11:01,862 --> 00:11:03,394
Hey, what's going on?
249
00:11:03,396 --> 00:11:06,197
Tiebreaker event-- whoever wins
this, wins the whole thing.
250
00:11:06,199 --> 00:11:08,233
What's the score?
37-37.
251
00:11:08,235 --> 00:11:10,134
They play
until somebody wins by two.
252
00:11:10,136 --> 00:11:13,104
Or until Oscar passes out.
253
00:11:13,106 --> 00:11:14,572
Or away.
254
00:11:14,574 --> 00:11:16,507
(laughs)
255
00:11:16,509 --> 00:11:18,943
I'm Murph, by the way.
256
00:11:18,945 --> 00:11:21,179
Seriously?
257
00:11:21,181 --> 00:11:23,414
We've met, like, 20 times.
258
00:11:23,416 --> 00:11:27,986
We had this exact
conversation yesterday.
259
00:11:27,988 --> 00:11:30,255
I'm Roy.
260
00:11:30,257 --> 00:11:32,891
What's up, Roy?
261
00:11:35,462 --> 00:11:38,096
Oh, hey, Emily...
262
00:11:38,098 --> 00:11:40,331
my mom loved
the earrings.
263
00:11:40,333 --> 00:11:42,333
Oh, I'm so happy to hear that.
264
00:11:42,335 --> 00:11:44,502
In fact, I want
to buy five more pairs.
265
00:11:44,504 --> 00:11:46,237
Fantastic!
266
00:11:46,239 --> 00:11:48,973
I will tell the factory
to ramp up production.
267
00:11:48,975 --> 00:11:50,541
Oh...
268
00:11:50,543 --> 00:11:52,210
I'm just...
there's no factory.
269
00:11:52,212 --> 00:11:53,611
It's just me.
270
00:11:53,613 --> 00:11:55,179
That's just a little
small-business humor.
271
00:11:55,181 --> 00:11:56,614
(laughter)
272
00:11:56,616 --> 00:11:58,349
Ah! You're hilarious.
273
00:11:58,351 --> 00:12:00,351
(laughs)
274
00:12:00,353 --> 00:12:02,687
Ah, I think Murph's got
a little crush on you.
275
00:12:02,689 --> 00:12:06,157
What?
Nobody needs seven
pairs of earrings.
276
00:12:06,159 --> 00:12:08,593
And he thinks
you're hilarious.
277
00:12:08,595 --> 00:12:11,195
When, at best,
you're amusing.
278
00:12:11,197 --> 00:12:13,564
You know, he has been
a little flirty with me.
279
00:12:13,566 --> 00:12:15,633
Mm-hmm.
This is so awkward.
280
00:12:15,635 --> 00:12:18,069
I'm... He's not really
my type.
281
00:12:18,071 --> 00:12:20,571
Yeah, he's so handsome and rich,
282
00:12:20,573 --> 00:12:22,273
and rumored
to be a fantastic lover.
283
00:12:22,275 --> 00:12:24,108
You should run, girl.
284
00:12:24,110 --> 00:12:25,443
No. My type is just more...
285
00:12:25,445 --> 00:12:28,212
emotionally evolved.
286
00:12:28,214 --> 00:12:29,714
Mm.
287
00:12:29,716 --> 00:12:32,016
No, he's sensitive,
288
00:12:32,018 --> 00:12:33,484
artistic...
Mm.
289
00:12:33,486 --> 00:12:35,386
...easy to talk to.
290
00:12:35,388 --> 00:12:37,221
Like Felix.
No, I don't.
291
00:12:39,426 --> 00:12:41,392
Ha!
292
00:12:41,394 --> 00:12:45,263
I'm like a cat.
Felix the cat!
293
00:12:45,265 --> 00:12:47,165
Ha, ha! Go fetch, kitty cat!
294
00:12:49,202 --> 00:12:50,735
Boy, Oscar's pretty
intense, huh?
295
00:12:50,737 --> 00:12:52,603
Imagine what he'll
be like if he loses.
296
00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:54,272
You'll never hear
the end of it.
297
00:12:54,274 --> 00:12:56,341
Oh, I don't care.
Okay, let me
rephrase that.
298
00:12:56,343 --> 00:12:58,109
I'll never hear
the end of it.
299
00:12:58,111 --> 00:12:59,410
(in whiny voice):
"Aah, he cheated.
300
00:12:59,412 --> 00:13:01,245
"The sun was in my eyes.
301
00:13:01,247 --> 00:13:03,014
"I was too drunk.
302
00:13:03,016 --> 00:13:05,316
I wasn't drunk enough."
303
00:13:06,486 --> 00:13:09,087
I'm begging you,
let him win.
304
00:13:09,089 --> 00:13:10,655
Never. Why would I do that?
305
00:13:10,657 --> 00:13:12,357
Here's the thing
about Oscar.
306
00:13:12,359 --> 00:13:14,225
He grew up dreaming of
being a great athlete
307
00:13:14,227 --> 00:13:16,427
until we went to high school,
and his coach told him
308
00:13:16,429 --> 00:13:18,296
he had the body
of a sportscaster.
309
00:13:18,298 --> 00:13:21,299
Now he spends his life
surrounded by great athletes.
310
00:13:21,301 --> 00:13:24,235
Always on the sideline,
never on the field.
311
00:13:24,237 --> 00:13:26,270
I didn't know that.
312
00:13:26,272 --> 00:13:29,273
So, be the bigger man
and let him win.
313
00:13:29,275 --> 00:13:33,077
So you're saying,
if I let him win...
314
00:13:33,079 --> 00:13:34,345
Yeah.
315
00:13:34,347 --> 00:13:36,381
...then I am...
the ultimate winner.
316
00:13:37,384 --> 00:13:40,318
Sure. Why not?
317
00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:42,220
Better go.
318
00:13:42,222 --> 00:13:43,421
All right.
319
00:13:43,423 --> 00:13:45,423
42-41. Game point.
320
00:13:46,593 --> 00:13:48,226
Aah!
Yes!
321
00:13:48,228 --> 00:13:49,427
Aah!
I win!
322
00:13:49,429 --> 00:13:50,428
Victory is mine!
323
00:13:50,430 --> 00:13:52,063
I win!
324
00:13:52,065 --> 00:13:54,298
Oh, the despair.
325
00:13:56,269 --> 00:13:59,404
God, that was exhilarating.
326
00:13:59,406 --> 00:14:02,473
Yes, you've mentioned that...
five or six times.
327
00:14:02,475 --> 00:14:05,143
Because you... ♪ Suck! ♪
328
00:14:05,145 --> 00:14:08,346
Okay, off-key, and
the jazz hands were unmotivated.
329
00:14:08,348 --> 00:14:10,381
But you are the winner.
330
00:14:10,383 --> 00:14:12,383
Oh, that's weird.
331
00:14:12,385 --> 00:14:15,386
I must have left the ticker on.
332
00:14:15,388 --> 00:14:18,389
How do you get that up there
so fast?
333
00:14:18,391 --> 00:14:20,658
I have an app.
334
00:14:20,660 --> 00:14:23,194
Well, I'm glad
this means so much to you.
335
00:14:23,196 --> 00:14:25,396
Congratulations
on your win.
336
00:14:25,398 --> 00:14:28,199
Oh, I didn't just win.
I beat you like a dirty rug.
337
00:14:28,201 --> 00:14:30,234
Okay, except nobody cleans rugs
like that anymore
338
00:14:30,236 --> 00:14:33,404
'cause we don't live
on The Waltons.
339
00:14:33,406 --> 00:14:34,739
Don't be a sore loser.
340
00:14:34,741 --> 00:14:36,541
I'm not sore.
341
00:14:36,543 --> 00:14:38,409
In fact, I'm not a loser
at all-- look!
342
00:14:39,579 --> 00:14:42,180
What?!
343
00:14:42,182 --> 00:14:43,648
You didn't let me win.
344
00:14:43,650 --> 00:14:45,349
Yes, I did. I threw the game
345
00:14:45,351 --> 00:14:46,584
because you are such a big baby
when you lose.
346
00:14:46,586 --> 00:14:48,753
I am not!
347
00:14:48,755 --> 00:14:51,189
Face it, Oscar--
I'm the better athlete.
348
00:14:51,191 --> 00:14:53,291
All right, let's
settle this like men.
349
00:14:53,293 --> 00:14:55,093
What does that mean?
350
00:14:57,097 --> 00:14:58,362
Wrestling?!
351
00:14:58,364 --> 00:15:00,198
(laughing):
Oh, don't be ridiculous.
352
00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:02,266
I would never stoop to...
353
00:15:02,268 --> 00:15:03,501
the cellist strikes!
354
00:15:08,842 --> 00:15:10,641
Ow! Oh! Oh, my neck!
Aah! Aah!
355
00:15:10,643 --> 00:15:12,276
What happened?
Oh, neck spasm!
356
00:15:12,278 --> 00:15:13,444
Oh, it's traveling
down my spine.
357
00:15:13,446 --> 00:15:14,846
It's in my buttock. Aah!
358
00:15:14,848 --> 00:15:16,447
Quick, massage
my buttock!
359
00:15:16,449 --> 00:15:17,849
I'm not gonna do that.
360
00:15:17,851 --> 00:15:19,350
Okay, then get me to the couch.
361
00:15:19,352 --> 00:15:22,420
Aah! Aah!
What is it?
362
00:15:22,422 --> 00:15:25,389
My back! I threw out my back!
I can't stand up.
363
00:15:25,391 --> 00:15:28,459
Aah. I think we overdid
the exercising.
Yeah.
364
00:15:28,461 --> 00:15:30,628
But you went down first,
which makes me the winner.
365
00:15:30,630 --> 00:15:32,230
Yes!
366
00:15:32,232 --> 00:15:33,464
No!
367
00:15:33,466 --> 00:15:35,600
Pain! White-hot pain!
368
00:15:35,602 --> 00:15:37,702
(laughs)
Oh, it hurts to laugh! Ow.
369
00:15:37,704 --> 00:15:39,337
(both groaning)
370
00:15:39,339 --> 00:15:41,772
(all laughing)
371
00:15:41,774 --> 00:15:43,608
Jessica.
372
00:15:43,610 --> 00:15:45,543
Hey, how are you?
373
00:15:45,545 --> 00:15:47,178
You slept with my friend!
374
00:15:47,180 --> 00:15:48,779
And you know how I know?
375
00:15:48,781 --> 00:15:50,815
You gave her the same earrings
376
00:15:50,817 --> 00:15:54,418
that you gave me
after we slept together.
377
00:15:56,322 --> 00:15:58,789
Uh, is that why you're buying
all that jewelry from Emily?
378
00:15:58,791 --> 00:16:00,858
To give women
a parting gift after sex?
379
00:16:00,860 --> 00:16:02,560
I was trying to be thoughtful.
380
00:16:03,830 --> 00:16:05,563
You know what's thoughtful?
381
00:16:05,565 --> 00:16:09,200
Remembering a teammate's name,
you son of a bitch.
382
00:16:13,439 --> 00:16:17,708
Boy, that little dude
is fired up.
383
00:16:19,879 --> 00:16:21,479
What's his name again?
384
00:16:23,349 --> 00:16:25,383
Here you go.
Ooh. Hold on here.
Just, uh...
385
00:16:25,385 --> 00:16:26,784
Keep the change.
386
00:16:26,786 --> 00:16:28,753
Oh, that's too much.
387
00:16:28,755 --> 00:16:30,321
No. You deserve it.
388
00:16:30,323 --> 00:16:32,623
Murph, we need to talk.
389
00:16:32,625 --> 00:16:35,726
Uh, Emily... Okay.
390
00:16:35,728 --> 00:16:39,397
Look, I really appreciate
the tips and the jewelry-buying,
391
00:16:39,399 --> 00:16:43,434
but I'm just not interested
in you in that way.
392
00:16:43,436 --> 00:16:45,469
What way?
393
00:16:45,471 --> 00:16:47,438
(whispering):
I know about your little crush.
394
00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:51,375
Oh. Okay.
395
00:16:52,612 --> 00:16:55,213
Damn.
396
00:16:55,215 --> 00:16:56,747
I'm sorry.
397
00:16:56,749 --> 00:16:59,650
I hope this doesn't
make things weird between us.
398
00:16:59,652 --> 00:17:03,888
Well, I mean, it might,
but I'll get over it.
399
00:17:05,892 --> 00:17:07,592
Aw.
400
00:17:07,594 --> 00:17:09,527
That was sweet.
401
00:17:09,529 --> 00:17:11,529
You could have just
told her the truth.
Yeah.
402
00:17:11,531 --> 00:17:13,397
So what's her deal, anyway?
403
00:17:13,399 --> 00:17:14,765
She seeing anyone?
404
00:17:14,767 --> 00:17:16,901
Why?
405
00:17:16,903 --> 00:17:18,603
Nobody's ever rejected me
before.
406
00:17:18,605 --> 00:17:20,304
It's kind of hot.
407
00:17:20,306 --> 00:17:22,640
Oh, Murph, come here.
408
00:17:25,612 --> 00:17:27,545
Ow! That hurt.
409
00:17:27,547 --> 00:17:30,615
So, um, what's your deal?
410
00:17:30,617 --> 00:17:31,649
Are you single?
411
00:17:41,628 --> 00:17:42,627
Cobweb.
412
00:17:45,298 --> 00:17:46,597
You're just
seeing that now?
413
00:17:46,599 --> 00:17:49,533
It's been stabbing me in
the heart for two hours.
414
00:17:49,535 --> 00:17:51,502
Can I ask you a question?
415
00:17:51,504 --> 00:17:52,803
Sure.
416
00:17:52,805 --> 00:17:54,872
Was I dreaming,
or did you tell me
417
00:17:54,874 --> 00:17:56,641
that you were born
covered in fur?
418
00:17:56,643 --> 00:18:00,044
It's called "lanugo."
419
00:18:00,046 --> 00:18:02,346
For Halloween, Mom
dressed up as Dorothy
420
00:18:02,348 --> 00:18:05,349
and carried me around
in a wicker basket.
421
00:18:05,351 --> 00:18:06,617
Aah! Aah! Aah!
422
00:18:06,619 --> 00:18:08,019
Oh, wow, neck
still hurts.
423
00:18:08,021 --> 00:18:10,321
Serves me right.
424
00:18:10,323 --> 00:18:13,424
That's what I get for trying
to prove I'm one of the guys.
425
00:18:13,426 --> 00:18:14,892
(groaning)
What are you talking about?
426
00:18:14,894 --> 00:18:17,495
(groans) I see the way
you are with your buddies.
427
00:18:17,497 --> 00:18:19,363
I wish I could
be part of that.
428
00:18:19,365 --> 00:18:20,731
The camaraderie,
429
00:18:20,733 --> 00:18:22,800
the bursting of
each other's balls.
430
00:18:27,807 --> 00:18:30,007
It's "busting..."
431
00:18:30,009 --> 00:18:31,909
and so you're not
that kind of guy.
432
00:18:31,911 --> 00:18:34,512
You got your own
crazy stuff going on.
433
00:18:34,514 --> 00:18:36,814
You cook, you do
the crossword puzzle in ink,
434
00:18:36,816 --> 00:18:38,616
you play that big guitar.
435
00:18:38,618 --> 00:18:40,751
Cello.
Cello.
436
00:18:40,753 --> 00:18:42,920
If I knew that stuff,
you think I'd care
437
00:18:42,922 --> 00:18:45,956
about impressing the guys
in some stupid softball game?
438
00:18:47,427 --> 00:18:49,060
Oscar, are you saying
you admire me?
439
00:18:49,062 --> 00:18:53,998
I'm saying I'm glad you're not
afraid to be a cultured weirdo.
440
00:18:55,601 --> 00:18:57,768
No offense.
I'm just bursting your balls.
441
00:18:59,539 --> 00:19:01,739
And I envy how good
you are at being a dude.
442
00:19:03,710 --> 00:19:05,810
Thank you.
443
00:19:05,812 --> 00:19:08,713
And you're welcome to play
on my softball team any time.
444
00:19:08,715 --> 00:19:10,681
You're quite a bunter.
445
00:19:10,683 --> 00:19:13,651
Since we're being honest,
I did not know what bunting was.
446
00:19:13,653 --> 00:19:16,087
I was swinging
as hard as I could.
447
00:19:17,790 --> 00:19:19,623
(knocking on door)
MURPH: Oscar? Felix?
448
00:19:19,625 --> 00:19:21,058
Oh, Murph.
Thank God. Come in!
449
00:19:22,662 --> 00:19:23,828
Oh, God, uh, sorry.
450
00:19:23,830 --> 00:19:25,463
I can...
I can come back.
451
00:19:25,465 --> 00:19:26,630
No! No!
No! No! No!
No! No!
452
00:19:26,632 --> 00:19:28,666
No. We overdid it.
We hurt our backs.
453
00:19:28,668 --> 00:19:30,101
Oh...!
454
00:19:30,103 --> 00:19:31,469
Yeah, it's nothing
to be ashamed of.
455
00:19:31,471 --> 00:19:32,903
You're just super weak.
456
00:19:34,841 --> 00:19:37,108
Murph, you probably hear this
all the time, but...
457
00:19:37,110 --> 00:19:39,410
carry me to the bedroom.
458
00:19:39,412 --> 00:19:40,845
(sighs)
459
00:19:42,782 --> 00:19:44,949
(Murph groans)
460
00:19:44,951 --> 00:19:46,751
So, how about that
game last night?
461
00:19:46,753 --> 00:19:49,387
Which game?
Any game.
It doesn't matter.
462
00:19:51,791 --> 00:19:53,391
Oscar?
463
00:19:53,393 --> 00:19:54,625
Oh, thank God.
464
00:19:54,627 --> 00:19:56,660
My date is here.
465
00:19:56,662 --> 00:19:59,163
Oh. Hi. Am I early?
466
00:19:59,165 --> 00:20:00,831
No, you're right on time.
467
00:20:00,833 --> 00:20:04,869
I just tweaked my back doing
something really masculine.
468
00:20:04,871 --> 00:20:06,504
Actually, why don't you rest up?
469
00:20:06,506 --> 00:20:07,671
We can do this another time.
470
00:20:07,673 --> 00:20:09,440
Bye.
Amy, wait!
471
00:20:09,442 --> 00:20:11,675
Murph, take me to her.
472
00:20:11,677 --> 00:20:14,678
Seriously, Oscar,
I'll call and reschedule.
473
00:20:14,680 --> 00:20:17,648
Take care.
474
00:20:17,650 --> 00:20:19,550
She's not gonna call.
475
00:20:19,552 --> 00:20:22,586
Dude, I'm cradling you
like a baby.
476
00:20:22,588 --> 00:20:24,789
Oh! Oh! My groin! Aah.
477
00:20:24,791 --> 00:20:26,524
Just kidding.
I'm super fit.
478
00:20:26,526 --> 00:20:28,626
(laughing)
Murph?
479
00:20:28,628 --> 00:20:29,860
Lift with your legs,
480
00:20:29,862 --> 00:20:32,630
or you could literally
burst your balls.
481
00:20:38,137 --> 00:20:39,737
Well, Oscar, thank
you for dinner.
My pleasure.
482
00:20:39,739 --> 00:20:42,039
And I know things got
a little tense between us,
483
00:20:42,041 --> 00:20:45,042
but I hope I'm still on the,
you know, mitten list.
484
00:20:46,012 --> 00:20:49,213
That's between you
and Santa Claus.
485
00:20:49,215 --> 00:20:50,881
Ah. Shall we?
486
00:20:50,883 --> 00:20:52,450
Aah. Ooh. Aah.
Ooh.
487
00:20:52,452 --> 00:20:55,453
You okay?
No, my neck.
488
00:20:55,455 --> 00:20:57,087
I don't think I can
make it to a cab.
489
00:20:57,089 --> 00:20:59,223
Murph?
490
00:20:59,225 --> 00:21:01,926
(sighs)
491
00:21:05,164 --> 00:21:07,598
Oh!
492
00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:08,699
It's like a little ball
of muscle.
493
00:21:08,701 --> 00:21:10,534
Buns and abs,
Mondays at 9:00.
494
00:21:10,536 --> 00:21:12,970
Captioning sponsored by
CBS
495
00:21:12,972 --> 00:21:14,772
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org