1 00:00:01,120 --> 00:00:04,010 - Man, this summer kickoff party's gonna be, like, 2 00:00:04,120 --> 00:00:06,407 MTV Beach House throwback status. 3 00:00:06,520 --> 00:00:08,682 Daisy Fuentes' butt-cheeks are just gonna be flowing 4 00:00:08,800 --> 00:00:11,371 in the wind. - Ay-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay! 5 00:00:11,480 --> 00:00:12,686 That wasn't racist, was it? - She had s-that's a good one. 6 00:00:12,800 --> 00:00:14,370 It was a little. - Okay, well. 7 00:00:14,480 --> 00:00:16,244 - It was a little racist. - Hey, uh, Dirk to Blaze. 8 00:00:16,360 --> 00:00:18,681 Any sign of what's clogging the drain, my main man? 9 00:00:18,800 --> 00:00:20,404 - Negative, dude. 10 00:00:20,520 --> 00:00:22,522 I do see a barbeque down here, though, 11 00:00:22,640 --> 00:00:25,723 and a suitcase full of your clothes. 12 00:00:25,840 --> 00:00:28,320 I'm almost to the drain. It's 2 meters. 13 00:00:28,440 --> 00:00:30,204 - How's the air quality down there? 14 00:00:30,320 --> 00:00:32,209 - It's okay, it's all right. 15 00:00:32,320 --> 00:00:35,324 But I could use a blow of the dro, sir. 16 00:00:35,440 --> 00:00:38,205 - Blowing dro. 17 00:00:38,320 --> 00:00:40,721 - He's blowing dro now. Over. 18 00:00:40,840 --> 00:00:44,128 - I just blew the dro. Blew the dro. 19 00:00:44,240 --> 00:00:46,163 - Hey, Blaze, come on, man. 20 00:00:46,280 --> 00:00:47,930 Any sign of what's clogging the drain? 21 00:00:48,040 --> 00:00:50,725 - That's affirmative. There's something... 22 00:00:50,840 --> 00:00:55,562 Oh, my God. guys! 23 00:00:55,680 --> 00:01:00,288 You're not gonna believe this. 24 00:01:00,400 --> 00:01:04,405 [beat-boxing] 25 00:01:04,520 --> 00:01:06,648 - ♪ I'm fresh ♪ [beat-boxing] 26 00:01:06,760 --> 00:01:08,330 - ♪ You gotta You gotta ♪ 27 00:01:08,440 --> 00:01:12,286 ♪ You gotta, gotta ♪ - ♪ Gotta be fresh ♪ 28 00:01:12,520 --> 00:01:17,082 - Gentledudes, before you lies a fierce beast 29 00:01:17,200 --> 00:01:19,965 known to suck the brains out of humans and goats, 30 00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:22,970 driven from their habitat during the construction 31 00:01:23,080 --> 00:01:25,481 of the Rancho Garden Mall in '98. 32 00:01:25,600 --> 00:01:27,728 Heck, the scientists thought they moved up north. 33 00:01:27,840 --> 00:01:30,411 But I had a different hypothesis. 34 00:01:30,520 --> 00:01:32,682 Looks like I was right. 35 00:01:32,800 --> 00:01:36,964 I give you... the Rancho Chupacabraj. 36 00:01:37,080 --> 00:01:39,321 - No, that is definitely our neighbor Mark's dog Ambush. 37 00:01:39,440 --> 00:01:42,410 - Covered in some of your hair and possiblyjizz. 38 00:01:42,520 --> 00:01:45,808 Not mine, though. 39 00:01:49,200 --> 00:01:50,964 - It's a chupacabra. 40 00:01:51,080 --> 00:01:53,651 - I can't believe you're carrying around a dead animal. 41 00:01:53,800 --> 00:01:56,167 - Well, I can't just leave this priceless artifact at home. 42 00:01:56,280 --> 00:01:58,408 What happens if, like, Nicolas Cage rolls 43 00:01:58,520 --> 00:02:00,488 through the neighborhood and steals this national treasure? 44 00:02:00,640 --> 00:02:02,847 - Whatever. Let's stick to the mission, stromies. 45 00:02:02,960 --> 00:02:04,086 We need some, like, pool toys. - Yes. 46 00:02:04,200 --> 00:02:05,361 - Chicks are like cats, dude. 47 00:02:05,520 --> 00:02:07,124 If you don't keep their attention, 48 00:02:07,240 --> 00:02:10,164 they'll wait for-on- on top of the refrigerator. 49 00:02:10,280 --> 00:02:11,770 - Yep - Welcome, gentlemen, 50 00:02:11,880 --> 00:02:14,565 to Tez's summer blowout special. 51 00:02:14,680 --> 00:02:17,889 I got everything you need. Games for the Dreamcast, 52 00:02:18,000 --> 00:02:20,765 PlayStation One, and free smoovies. 53 00:02:20,880 --> 00:02:23,087 'Cause white folks love smoovies. 54 00:02:23,200 --> 00:02:24,326 - Smoovies? - That's what I said. 55 00:02:24,440 --> 00:02:26,841 - Smoovies. - With a "v"? 56 00:02:27,000 --> 00:02:28,968 - Smoothies! Wait, what do y'all want? 57 00:02:29,080 --> 00:02:31,526 - We're actually looking for pool toys and whatnot 58 00:02:31,640 --> 00:02:33,165 and what have you. - Pool toys. 59 00:02:33,280 --> 00:02:35,806 Let me check my inven- You know what? 60 00:02:35,920 --> 00:02:38,366 Can I interest you boys in some straw cowboy hats? 61 00:02:38,480 --> 00:02:39,606 - Oh, that's a great idea. 62 00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:41,250 Whenever chicks wear straw cowboy hats, 63 00:02:41,360 --> 00:02:44,603 they turn into sex cattle, man. And cowgirl butts... 64 00:02:44,720 --> 00:02:48,167 Just get my thing hard. - Mm-hmm. 65 00:02:48,280 --> 00:02:50,009 - Could you just show us to the pool supplies? 66 00:02:50,120 --> 00:02:51,326 - All right, it's over this way, and- 67 00:02:51,480 --> 00:02:53,960 Waymond, you touch it, you bought it. 68 00:02:54,080 --> 00:02:57,209 Come on. 69 00:02:57,360 --> 00:02:59,681 - He has the Space Jam soundtrack. 70 00:02:59,800 --> 00:03:01,928 - Whoa, dudes, check this out. 71 00:03:02,040 --> 00:03:05,089 All: Damn! 72 00:03:05,200 --> 00:03:06,770 - Aw, yeah. - What? 73 00:03:06,880 --> 00:03:08,564 - That's the Hover Beast Hovercraft. 74 00:03:08,680 --> 00:03:11,445 Colleen won that in a Tropicana bikini contest. 75 00:03:11,560 --> 00:03:15,167 150 horsepower engine. Four-blade warp drive prop. 76 00:03:15,280 --> 00:03:18,329 And it's all yours for $500. - Dude. 77 00:03:18,440 --> 00:03:20,841 If we get this thing, man, it'll vault our party 78 00:03:20,960 --> 00:03:23,884 into the most awesomest maximus event of the summer. 79 00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:25,525 - Ah, brain freeze. - Montez Walker 80 00:03:25,680 --> 00:03:27,205 on the invite list? - Never. 81 00:03:27,320 --> 00:03:31,291 How about I give you $200? 82 00:03:31,440 --> 00:03:33,090 - [laughing] Y'all talk about that. 83 00:03:33,200 --> 00:03:34,964 - No, no, no, no, no. We can't spend that much money, 84 00:03:35,080 --> 00:03:36,809 because then we won't have enough money 85 00:03:36,920 --> 00:03:39,127 for the cowboy hats, and if we don't have cowboy hats, 86 00:03:39,280 --> 00:03:41,248 how am I gonna save a horse, ride a cowgirl? 87 00:03:41,360 --> 00:03:43,089 - If we have a hovercraft, we don't need cowboy hats. 88 00:03:43,240 --> 00:03:45,049 - Yeah. - Hovercrafts are aphrodisiacs. 89 00:03:45,200 --> 00:03:46,565 They're basically... oysters of the ocean. 90 00:03:46,680 --> 00:03:48,284 - Yummy. 91 00:03:48,400 --> 00:03:50,164 - Yeah, I guess you're right. Plus, you know what? 92 00:03:50,280 --> 00:03:53,523 We could charge people money to ride on the hovercraft 93 00:03:53,640 --> 00:03:56,484 and also money to take pictures with the Chupacabraj. 94 00:03:56,600 --> 00:03:58,443 At this point now, we're making money. 95 00:03:58,560 --> 00:04:00,050 We're making money off our party. 96 00:04:00,160 --> 00:04:03,209 - Guys, we could just buy it and return it next week. 97 00:04:03,320 --> 00:04:07,370 - Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. I heard that. 98 00:04:07,480 --> 00:04:09,687 No refunds around here. 99 00:04:09,800 --> 00:04:13,441 All sales final. - How did he hear that? 100 00:04:13,560 --> 00:04:16,450 - $450, plus you throw in 101 00:04:16,560 --> 00:04:18,767 all the straw cowboy hats we can eat, and that's a deal. 102 00:04:18,880 --> 00:04:22,566 - And whatevefs in arm's reach. 103 00:04:22,680 --> 00:04:25,047 - And this-this suit. - Whoa, cool! 104 00:04:25,200 --> 00:04:26,326 - Sold! - Okay! 105 00:04:26,440 --> 00:04:27,885 - Yes! - But you be careful 106 00:04:28,000 --> 00:04:29,490 in that suit. It's powerful. 107 00:04:29,600 --> 00:04:31,409 It makes women just [swooning]. 108 00:04:31,520 --> 00:04:32,965 They just [swooning]. 109 00:04:33,080 --> 00:04:35,128 - Waymond! Get over here and get a sendoff picture 110 00:04:35,240 --> 00:04:37,129 like we at the Saturn Dealer. - There we go. 111 00:04:37,240 --> 00:04:39,971 - All right. - Charge that to the game. 112 00:04:40,080 --> 00:04:42,162 [chirp] Cool. 113 00:04:42,280 --> 00:04:43,611 - All right, Ders, fire this puppy up. 114 00:04:43,760 --> 00:04:44,886 - Whoo! - You got it! 115 00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:46,126 - [laughing] Here we go. 116 00:04:46,240 --> 00:04:48,607 - Land-ho! - Ahoy! 117 00:04:48,720 --> 00:04:50,131 [all yelling] 118 00:04:50,240 --> 00:04:51,810 - Oh, captain, this is going down! 119 00:04:51,920 --> 00:04:53,206 - I don't like when your mom visits. 120 00:04:53,320 --> 00:04:54,606 She's always flirting with me. 121 00:04:54,720 --> 00:04:56,006 She's got those big titties like you. 122 00:04:56,120 --> 00:04:59,488 - No sale! - What in the fuck is going- 123 00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:01,921 - We want our $450 back, 124 00:05:02,040 --> 00:05:03,371 because the hovercraft you sold us 125 00:05:03,480 --> 00:05:05,244 catches fire way too easily. 126 00:05:05,360 --> 00:05:07,806 - I told y'all no refunds. 127 00:05:07,920 --> 00:05:09,206 Ain't that right, Way-Way? 128 00:05:09,320 --> 00:05:11,368 He heard me. - We don't want refunds. 129 00:05:11,480 --> 00:05:13,369 We want our money back so we can buy a hovercraft 130 00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:14,606 that actually flies. 131 00:05:14,720 --> 00:05:15,846 - Mm-hmm. - In the water. 132 00:05:16,000 --> 00:05:17,525 Wat-water flight. - Mm-hmm. 133 00:05:17,640 --> 00:05:19,369 - Yeah, that's right. Our pool party's ruined. 134 00:05:19,480 --> 00:05:21,084 Now it's just guys with cowboy hats 135 00:05:21,200 --> 00:05:23,248 squirting each other. That's bad. 136 00:05:23,360 --> 00:05:25,408 - And? - Well... 137 00:05:25,520 --> 00:05:29,241 we'll sue you. We'll take everything you've got. 138 00:05:29,360 --> 00:05:31,010 - That's a really good idea. - Thanks. 139 00:05:31,120 --> 00:05:32,406 - That's why he's the brains of the operation. 140 00:05:32,560 --> 00:05:34,210 - You want to get Judge Joe Brown on it? 141 00:05:34,320 --> 00:05:36,004 You want some Judge Judy up your booty? 142 00:05:36,120 --> 00:05:37,610 You better lawyer up. 143 00:05:37,720 --> 00:05:39,882 You better lawyer up. - ♪ Lawyer up ♪ 144 00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:42,765 - ♪ You better lawyer up ♪ - There's no lawyers 145 00:05:42,880 --> 00:05:44,564 in small claims court. - What? 146 00:05:44,680 --> 00:05:47,001 - Then lawyer down, okay? - Yeah, so lawyer down. 147 00:05:47,120 --> 00:05:49,282 You know what? We're gonna see you in court, man. 148 00:05:49,400 --> 00:05:51,004 - See you there. - No, we will. 149 00:05:51,160 --> 00:05:52,650 We'll see you in court. - Oh, well, bring it. 150 00:05:52,760 --> 00:05:53,886 - Yeah, fine, we will bring it. 151 00:05:54,040 --> 00:05:55,371 - Fine, then. - Mm. 152 00:05:55,480 --> 00:05:57,130 - Yo, what the fuck you did right there? 153 00:05:57,240 --> 00:05:58,571 That's my cactus! 154 00:05:58,680 --> 00:06:00,250 You gonna go in the fucking garbage can? 155 00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:01,771 - Sony - Sorry, Jet Set. 156 00:06:01,920 --> 00:06:03,524 We thought it was his cactus. We didn't know. 157 00:06:03,640 --> 00:06:05,324 - Now y'all get out of my house. 158 00:06:05,440 --> 00:06:06,601 Have a good day. 159 00:06:06,760 --> 00:06:09,923 [beat-boxing] 160 00:06:12,600 --> 00:06:15,729 [beat-boxing] 161 00:06:15,840 --> 00:06:17,001 - Move it along, people. 162 00:06:17,120 --> 00:06:18,929 We got a big-time lawyer coming through. 163 00:06:19,040 --> 00:06:20,326 - Guys, I applied to law school. 164 00:06:20,480 --> 00:06:22,050 I didn't even get accepted anywhere. 165 00:06:22,160 --> 00:06:24,481 - Well, that's not true. You got accepted in our hearts. 166 00:06:24,600 --> 00:06:27,570 No homo, pro bono. That's a lawyer term, right? 167 00:06:27,680 --> 00:06:29,523 - I'm gonna say it again. I have no idea. 168 00:06:29,640 --> 00:06:31,244 I don't know. I don't know. 169 00:06:31,360 --> 00:06:33,124 - I don't understand how you don't know, 170 00:06:33,240 --> 00:06:35,766 because you've seen every episode of Franklin & Bash. 171 00:06:35,880 --> 00:06:37,291 - Who hasn't? - That's true. 172 00:06:37,400 --> 00:06:38,686 That's a good show. Really good show. 173 00:06:38,800 --> 00:06:41,770 - Ders, you have a briefcase. Use that. 174 00:06:41,920 --> 00:06:43,445 - I do have a briefcase. 175 00:06:43,560 --> 00:06:46,211 - We bought a hovercraft for a party that we can't have. 176 00:06:46,320 --> 00:06:47,685 You know how sad that makes me? 177 00:06:47,840 --> 00:06:51,686 Lawyer the sadness away. - I will, man. 178 00:06:51,800 --> 00:06:55,043 - This your bag? - Uh, yes, sir, it is. 179 00:06:55,160 --> 00:06:56,650 - That was salty. - I'm gonna have to search it. 180 00:06:56,760 --> 00:06:59,161 - Oh, uh, yeah, go ahead. It's cool. 181 00:06:59,280 --> 00:07:01,487 - Oh, damn! 182 00:07:01,600 --> 00:07:03,523 - Yeah, pretty freaky, right? It's a, uh- 183 00:07:03,640 --> 00:07:05,847 It's actually a Rancho Chupacabraj. 184 00:07:05,960 --> 00:07:08,611 Uh, but I have to take it with me. It's evidence in a... 185 00:07:08,720 --> 00:07:14,170 uh...well, a-a dude having sex with a Chupacabraj case, so... 186 00:07:14,280 --> 00:07:16,009 - Get out of here. - All right. 187 00:07:16,160 --> 00:07:18,049 Thanks, sir. - We found it covered in jizz. 188 00:07:18,160 --> 00:07:20,845 We're not sure what-animal jizz or human jizz, we're not sure. 189 00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:25,449 - [rapping gavel] 190 00:07:25,560 --> 00:07:27,005 You've all been sworn in. 191 00:07:27,120 --> 00:07:28,690 Gentlemen, I've read your complaint. 192 00:07:28,840 --> 00:07:31,207 Do you have anything to add other than your claim 193 00:07:31,320 --> 00:07:32,970 of boat fraud in the first degree, 194 00:07:33,080 --> 00:07:35,651 which I'd like to point out is not a real thing? 195 00:07:35,760 --> 00:07:37,649 - Well, we're here to prove that it is, your Honor. 196 00:07:37,760 --> 00:07:40,331 If I may, I'm gonna stand. 197 00:07:40,480 --> 00:07:42,482 I'd like to, uh, address the jury here. 198 00:07:42,600 --> 00:07:45,763 - Uh, plaintiff, uh, this isn't a jury trial. 199 00:07:45,880 --> 00:07:47,041 They're here awaiting their cases. 200 00:07:47,160 --> 00:07:49,162 - These people? - Uh-huh. 201 00:07:49,320 --> 00:07:51,163 - Thank you, Judge Tibbles. 202 00:07:51,320 --> 00:07:53,049 Ladies and gentlemen of the esteemed court, 203 00:07:53,200 --> 00:07:56,010 two dudes with some bodacious ponytails. 204 00:07:56,160 --> 00:07:58,731 - 22 inches and counting. - Dude. 205 00:07:58,840 --> 00:08:00,763 This is 19 inches. It's longer than yours. 206 00:08:00,880 --> 00:08:02,086 - No, it's not. - I measured it 207 00:08:02,200 --> 00:08:03,531 from the base up here. - I measured it 208 00:08:03,640 --> 00:08:05,005 from the top of my forehead. 209 00:08:05,120 --> 00:08:08,681 - I have but one word- 210 00:08:08,840 --> 00:08:12,242 "Justice." Right? 211 00:08:12,360 --> 00:08:14,362 Just. Us. 212 00:08:14,480 --> 00:08:16,403 It's just us on this planet Earth. 213 00:08:16,520 --> 00:08:18,488 We're alone, so... 214 00:08:18,640 --> 00:08:20,768 we need to trust each other. 215 00:08:20,880 --> 00:08:24,327 Trust. Us. 216 00:08:24,480 --> 00:08:26,608 Rhymes, so you know that it's real. 217 00:08:26,720 --> 00:08:30,327 Which brings me to the question... 218 00:08:30,440 --> 00:08:32,966 are we human... 219 00:08:33,080 --> 00:08:36,084 or are we dancers? 220 00:08:36,240 --> 00:08:37,924 - Plaintiff, is there any additional evidence 221 00:08:38,040 --> 00:08:39,804 besides the defective hovercraft? 222 00:08:39,920 --> 00:08:41,524 - No, but look, I was having a good time. 223 00:08:41,640 --> 00:08:43,688 The problem is that this guy sold us a bunk hovercraft, 224 00:08:43,800 --> 00:08:45,484 and now we're gonna have a sausage fest 225 00:08:45,600 --> 00:08:47,489 with no bikinis and no straw cowboy hats, 226 00:08:47,600 --> 00:08:49,090 and I don't think you're being fair. 227 00:08:49,200 --> 00:08:50,611 This isn't fair. 228 00:08:50,720 --> 00:08:53,166 - Mr. Walker, how do you respond to the accusation? 229 00:08:53,280 --> 00:08:57,683 - Your Honor, I know your time is valuable, so I will be brief. 230 00:08:57,800 --> 00:09:00,724 Um, this here is a textbook witch hunt- 231 00:09:00,840 --> 00:09:04,003 - How's he sound so real? - That will clearly exonerate me 232 00:09:04,120 --> 00:09:07,522 from all these prejudicious and unfair charges. 233 00:09:07,640 --> 00:09:09,130 - This isn't a race thing, sir. 234 00:09:09,240 --> 00:09:10,810 - May I approach the bench? - Proceed. 235 00:09:10,920 --> 00:09:12,604 - He knows exactly... - You're dumb. 236 00:09:12,720 --> 00:09:15,769 - Your Honor, as you can see, in nine separate locations, 237 00:09:15,880 --> 00:09:19,248 in accordance with our great law, is my signs. 238 00:09:19,360 --> 00:09:21,727 - Ders, why aren't you using the briefcase? 239 00:09:21,840 --> 00:09:23,285 - There's nothing inside the briefcase 240 00:09:23,400 --> 00:09:25,607 except for golf pencils and baseball cards, 241 00:09:25,720 --> 00:09:27,290 and Slim Jim Dare. 242 00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:29,129 - Slim Jim Dare, really freaking hot beef jerky, 243 00:09:29,240 --> 00:09:30,844 and you didn't give us any of that. 244 00:09:30,960 --> 00:09:32,325 - This is the jalapeño kind, and you didn't give- 245 00:09:32,440 --> 00:09:34,010 You didn't even think- - Gentlemen, please. 246 00:09:34,120 --> 00:09:37,249 This is a court of law. It's not a feeding trough. 247 00:09:37,360 --> 00:09:39,931 - I had one. I had-this one was out. 248 00:09:40,040 --> 00:09:42,407 - I just-okay. - No, no, dude, dude, come on. 249 00:09:42,560 --> 00:09:43,925 - I think you're making a very good case here. 250 00:09:44,040 --> 00:09:45,963 - Okay, Ders' lawyering didn't work, 251 00:09:46,080 --> 00:09:49,163 so it's time for me to do some liar-ing. 252 00:09:49,280 --> 00:09:52,045 I'm gonna lie. - Oh, cool. 253 00:09:52,160 --> 00:09:53,969 - [Southern accent] Your Honor, 254 00:09:54,080 --> 00:09:58,051 I do declare that we have a star witness 255 00:09:58,200 --> 00:10:01,682 that we would like to call to the stand. 256 00:10:01,800 --> 00:10:05,566 - To the what? - To the stand. 257 00:10:05,680 --> 00:10:06,806 - I don't understand the word you're saying. 258 00:10:06,960 --> 00:10:09,281 - To the stand, to the stand. 259 00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:11,607 - And we all were just screaming, "Montez, stop," 260 00:10:11,720 --> 00:10:14,849 and he just continued to squeeze the life 261 00:10:14,960 --> 00:10:17,088 out of the poor little Girl Scout's Dalmatian. 262 00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:20,329 It was-it was disgusting. - What? 263 00:10:20,440 --> 00:10:22,522 - Can we get back to the case? - Your Honor. 264 00:10:22,680 --> 00:10:24,887 We are just here to tell the truth, the whole truth, 265 00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:27,082 and nothing but the truth about a vile 266 00:10:27,200 --> 00:10:30,568 and disgusting man who was trying to ruin our party. 267 00:10:30,680 --> 00:10:32,648 - Could you use your regular voice, please? 268 00:10:32,760 --> 00:10:34,125 - [continues accent] This young lady 269 00:10:34,240 --> 00:10:35,924 knows where I'm coming from, 270 00:10:36,040 --> 00:10:38,646 don't you, doll? - Huh? 271 00:10:38,760 --> 00:10:40,330 - Do you like pool parties, miss? 272 00:10:40,440 --> 00:10:41,646 - Yeah. 273 00:10:41,760 --> 00:10:43,728 - And are you available this Saturday, 274 00:10:43,840 --> 00:10:48,004 and may I remind you you are under oath? 275 00:10:48,120 --> 00:10:51,044 - I guess I don't have any plans. 276 00:10:51,160 --> 00:10:52,685 - Can we get back to the case please? 277 00:10:52,800 --> 00:10:54,370 - Your Honor, I'm just making sure 278 00:10:54,480 --> 00:10:57,882 that everybody in here is being truthful, 279 00:10:58,000 --> 00:11:02,324 such as myself holding on to my nine-inch lap-hog, 280 00:11:02,440 --> 00:11:07,048 which must be a true thing since I am also under oath. 281 00:11:07,160 --> 00:11:09,083 - Uh, yeah, we all have really big dongs. 282 00:11:09,200 --> 00:11:11,009 I swear on a stack of Bibles. - My dick's big. 283 00:11:11,120 --> 00:11:14,249 - I believe we've had enough lap-hog talk for one lifetime. 284 00:11:14,400 --> 00:11:16,050 - I'm sorry, your Honor. Did you guys see 285 00:11:16,160 --> 00:11:19,164 the "no refund" signs at the garage sale, or no? 286 00:11:19,320 --> 00:11:20,731 - I certainly did not see a sign- 287 00:11:20,840 --> 00:11:23,844 - That is a lie! - I should warn you gentlemen 288 00:11:23,960 --> 00:11:26,531 that perjury laws are swift and severe. 289 00:11:26,640 --> 00:11:29,883 - Mm-hmm, swift Willy style, all in there. 290 00:11:30,040 --> 00:11:31,610 - You may sit down. 291 00:11:31,720 --> 00:11:33,529 Does the defense have any response? 292 00:11:33,640 --> 00:11:36,450 - Yes, I do. I also have a star witness 293 00:11:36,560 --> 00:11:37,925 who can prove beyond a reasonable doubt 294 00:11:38,040 --> 00:11:39,769 that these sucker-necks are lying. 295 00:11:39,880 --> 00:11:43,771 Defense calls Waymond Womano. 296 00:11:43,880 --> 00:11:45,325 - Oh, shit, this is bad. 297 00:11:45,440 --> 00:11:47,010 He saw everything. We can't let him testify. 298 00:11:47,120 --> 00:11:48,770 If he testifies, we're gonna go to jail for perjury. 299 00:11:48,880 --> 00:11:51,770 - You should've told me that. - I thought you knew. 300 00:11:51,880 --> 00:11:54,201 - I choose to accept this mission. 301 00:11:54,320 --> 00:11:56,243 Uh... 302 00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:03,041 - State your name for the court record, please. 303 00:12:03,200 --> 00:12:05,043 - What the heck's that? 304 00:12:07,760 --> 00:12:09,046 - What the- - [whimpering] 305 00:12:09,160 --> 00:12:10,286 - What the hell? 306 00:12:10,400 --> 00:12:12,084 Court is adjourned till tomorrow. 307 00:12:12,200 --> 00:12:14,009 [rapping gavel] - Yeah. 308 00:12:14,120 --> 00:12:16,771 Adjourning's the be- Obviously we're adjourning, 309 00:12:16,920 --> 00:12:18,809 'cause you have rats in your vents... 310 00:12:18,920 --> 00:12:20,081 - That's the first smart thing you done all day. 311 00:12:20,200 --> 00:12:21,486 - Here at the courthouse. 312 00:12:21,600 --> 00:12:23,364 - Y'all slick, you're real slick. 313 00:12:23,480 --> 00:12:24,970 I know y'all threw that dookie bag. 314 00:12:25,080 --> 00:12:27,447 But we back tomorrow, and Waymond is pissed. 315 00:12:27,600 --> 00:12:29,489 You messed up his church shoes, and look at my good suit. 316 00:12:29,640 --> 00:12:31,085 - How about we settle out of court? 317 00:12:31,200 --> 00:12:32,611 You know, we'll take you to Ruby Tuesday's, 318 00:12:32,720 --> 00:12:34,370 we'll buy you a root-beer and a burger. 319 00:12:34,520 --> 00:12:36,443 - The only thing y'all gonna be eating is ass salad. 320 00:12:36,560 --> 00:12:39,723 Talking about prison for in and around 30 days. 321 00:12:39,840 --> 00:12:41,285 Good luck. 322 00:12:41,400 --> 00:12:43,050 - Oh, man, we're going to jail, 323 00:12:43,160 --> 00:12:46,050 and I never got to Eiffel Tower a chick with one of you guys. 324 00:12:46,200 --> 00:12:47,645 - We're not gonna go to jail if Waymond doesn't testify. 325 00:12:47,760 --> 00:12:49,000 - Oh, we're eating ass salad, man. 326 00:12:49,160 --> 00:12:51,731 I'm gonna have a big bowl of ass salad. 327 00:12:51,840 --> 00:12:54,207 You heard Tez. Waymond's snitching tomorrow. 328 00:12:54,320 --> 00:12:56,800 - Not if we get to him tonight. 329 00:13:09,160 --> 00:13:10,730 - Shut up, stay right there! 330 00:13:10,840 --> 00:13:13,002 - And drive! - Whoops! Hey! 331 00:13:13,120 --> 00:13:15,043 Don't talk though. Don't talk though. 332 00:13:20,960 --> 00:13:23,645 - Waymond Womano, we can't be responsible 333 00:13:23,760 --> 00:13:26,366 for what happens if you show up in court tomorrow. 334 00:13:26,480 --> 00:13:30,690 - But we can be very responsible if you- 335 00:13:30,800 --> 00:13:32,723 If you don't...do that. 336 00:13:32,840 --> 00:13:35,889 - Yeah! Stick your hand in this bag. 337 00:13:36,040 --> 00:13:39,806 Do it! You feel that? Those are the eyeballs of kids 338 00:13:39,960 --> 00:13:41,485 that we plucked out of their heads! 339 00:13:41,600 --> 00:13:43,682 And this? This is intestines. 340 00:13:43,840 --> 00:13:45,251 - No, Blake. We're, uh- 341 00:13:45,360 --> 00:13:48,364 Dude #1, we told you he's not blindfolded. 342 00:13:48,480 --> 00:13:51,245 - He's not blindfolded. He can see that it's spaghetti. 343 00:13:51,360 --> 00:13:55,843 - Well, this is spaghetti that a dude was eating, 344 00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:58,247 but we killed him. all: Yeah! 345 00:13:58,360 --> 00:13:59,885 - We're going to kill you, dude! 346 00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:02,685 - Yeah, we killed his ass. - Are you ready to die? 347 00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:04,040 Oh, that's the game you want to play? 348 00:14:04,160 --> 00:14:05,844 - Oh, okay. - Dig your own grave, bud. 349 00:14:05,960 --> 00:14:07,485 - Yeah, dig the fricking grave, 350 00:14:07,600 --> 00:14:10,001 you marshmallow-looking motherfucker. 351 00:14:10,160 --> 00:14:13,323 [all laughing] 352 00:14:13,440 --> 00:14:15,522 - What? - Heh, heh... 353 00:14:15,640 --> 00:14:17,802 - Little help? - Oh. 354 00:14:17,960 --> 00:14:19,246 - Just throw-hurry up. - Yeah. 355 00:14:19,360 --> 00:14:21,089 Go Falcons! - Thank you. 356 00:14:21,200 --> 00:14:23,123 Hey, nice arm. 357 00:14:23,240 --> 00:14:26,084 - It's a shovel, not a broom. 358 00:14:26,200 --> 00:14:28,009 - Come on, jeez. - That's what you got? 359 00:14:28,120 --> 00:14:30,851 - All right, he's throwing it on his shoe-shoes. 360 00:14:30,960 --> 00:14:33,691 - You really suck at this. He sucks at this. 361 00:14:33,800 --> 00:14:35,564 - Jesus Christ, you're horrible. 362 00:14:35,680 --> 00:14:36,966 - I'm actually not very good either. 363 00:14:37,080 --> 00:14:38,206 - Well, you're holding the spaghetti. 364 00:14:38,320 --> 00:14:40,129 We told you not to bring the spaghetti. 365 00:14:40,240 --> 00:14:41,321 - I'm gonna go get some more shovels. 366 00:14:41,480 --> 00:14:42,925 - Yeah. 367 00:14:43,040 --> 00:14:44,565 - I'm actually really proud of us, guys. 368 00:14:44,680 --> 00:14:45,966 This hole is freaking impressive. 369 00:14:46,080 --> 00:14:48,526 - It's crazy. - Whoa, dude, look, 370 00:14:48,640 --> 00:14:50,369 you're gonna kill yourself if you don't start lifting 371 00:14:50,480 --> 00:14:51,970 with your body instead of your arm muscles. 372 00:14:52,120 --> 00:14:54,009 - Well, my arm muscles are my body, Ders. 373 00:14:54,160 --> 00:14:55,969 In fact, I think they're most of it. 374 00:14:56,120 --> 00:14:58,043 - I think we can all agree that the most important thing 375 00:14:58,160 --> 00:14:59,764 to do is come from the top here. 376 00:14:59,880 --> 00:15:01,086 - Yeah. - Because all the leverage 377 00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:02,247 when you're going-ow! 378 00:15:02,360 --> 00:15:03,407 - Aah! - Wait, what happened? 379 00:15:03,520 --> 00:15:05,204 - I think... - What happened? 380 00:15:05,320 --> 00:15:06,606 - Splinter. [car engine starts] 381 00:15:06,720 --> 00:15:07,846 - Yeah, that's painful, that's painful. 382 00:15:07,960 --> 00:15:09,121 That's very painful. 383 00:15:09,240 --> 00:15:11,004 - Waymond? Waymond? Wait, Waymond! 384 00:15:11,120 --> 00:15:12,770 - Waymond! - Waymond! 385 00:15:12,880 --> 00:15:16,726 - Waymond, wait, wait! Maybe we went too far! 386 00:15:16,840 --> 00:15:18,968 Uh, we were just trying to scare you out of testifying. 387 00:15:19,080 --> 00:15:20,491 It's us, the bullshit boys! 388 00:15:20,600 --> 00:15:22,728 - Well, we shouldn't have let him wait 389 00:15:22,840 --> 00:15:25,491 in the car to get warm. - Real boner move on our part. 390 00:15:25,600 --> 00:15:27,329 - Yeah, now we're gonna go to prison for perjury. 391 00:15:27,440 --> 00:15:29,090 - And liar-ing even. - Oh, man. 392 00:15:29,240 --> 00:15:33,529 Hot dudes like us do not do well in prison, guys. 393 00:15:33,640 --> 00:15:37,122 We are like three fresh meat butt steaks just waiting 394 00:15:37,240 --> 00:15:40,528 for a dry rub. - Oh, God, Blake's right. 395 00:15:40,640 --> 00:15:42,847 His American Idol hairdo, your Norse-ness. 396 00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:46,402 My pecs, my hammies. My gluts, man! 397 00:15:46,520 --> 00:15:48,204 They're just waiting for a good dicking. 398 00:15:48,320 --> 00:15:50,163 - Oh, we're gonna get pounded. - Maybe, like, 399 00:15:50,280 --> 00:15:51,805 over time, it, like- It gets okay. 400 00:15:51,920 --> 00:15:53,684 It's just skin after all, right? 401 00:15:53,800 --> 00:15:55,325 - What? - I don't know. 402 00:15:55,440 --> 00:15:57,329 I'm just trying to be, like, a "glass half full" guy. 403 00:15:57,440 --> 00:16:00,205 - You're gonna have an ass half full of prison dicks. 404 00:16:00,320 --> 00:16:01,481 - So what should we do right now? 405 00:16:01,600 --> 00:16:03,045 Should we go get hamburgers? 406 00:16:03,160 --> 00:16:05,049 Eat a bunch of hamburgers right now and get fat? 407 00:16:05,160 --> 00:16:07,367 So the dudes won't want to butt-fun us? 408 00:16:07,480 --> 00:16:08,891 - We'll get fat, we'll get ugly. - We have to beat the pretty 409 00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:10,490 out of each other. 410 00:16:10,600 --> 00:16:12,602 - All right, well, how do we go about doing that? 411 00:16:12,720 --> 00:16:15,291 - I don't know. What do you say, we count to three, 412 00:16:15,400 --> 00:16:17,767 and all, like, just punch each other, same time? 413 00:16:17,880 --> 00:16:19,291 - To the right? - Yeah, to the right. 414 00:16:19,400 --> 00:16:20,765 - I don't want to call you guys bitches, 415 00:16:20,880 --> 00:16:23,486 but you guys are bitches. 416 00:16:23,600 --> 00:16:25,364 You're bitches. 417 00:16:25,480 --> 00:16:27,881 You guys wouldn't be able to hurt me, my face is very hard. 418 00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:31,083 Growing up, all the bullies were, like, "Holy shit, man. 419 00:16:31,200 --> 00:16:32,440 Your face is so hard." - Right. 420 00:16:32,560 --> 00:16:34,130 - "It hurts my hand when I punch." 421 00:16:34,240 --> 00:16:36,163 I need something much harder to hit it. 422 00:16:36,280 --> 00:16:39,568 - Whoa! Uh... - Dude, whoa. 423 00:16:39,680 --> 00:16:41,444 - You want me to blast you? - No, no, no. 424 00:16:41,600 --> 00:16:43,250 Let's just, uh, we'll tell him we fought. 425 00:16:43,360 --> 00:16:44,521 - No, yeah, good-good call. - You all right, man? 426 00:16:44,640 --> 00:16:45,766 - Adam, Adam, you okay? - [moaning] 427 00:16:45,880 --> 00:16:47,211 - Adam. - Sony 428 00:16:47,360 --> 00:16:50,170 - [moaning] - Come on, okay, oh... 429 00:16:50,320 --> 00:16:51,560 .- Did I get you? D'd ' get you good? 430 00:16:51,680 --> 00:16:52,966 Did I get you good? - Uh, no. 431 00:16:53,080 --> 00:16:55,526 But Ders got me a- a cracked rib for sure. 432 00:16:55,640 --> 00:16:57,483 - We fought, and, uh, Blake curbed me. 433 00:16:57,600 --> 00:16:58,726 Just destroyed my face. - Yeah, twice. 434 00:16:58,840 --> 00:17:00,922 - I can see that. I can see that. 435 00:17:01,080 --> 00:17:02,445 You look bad, dude. You look bad. 436 00:17:02,560 --> 00:17:04,085 - Okay, let's- - You look bad, dude. 437 00:17:04,200 --> 00:17:05,690 - This way. - This-yeah. 438 00:17:05,800 --> 00:17:08,406 - Whoa'.! 439 00:17:08,520 --> 00:17:10,409 - Oh, great, the sun's coming up soon. 440 00:17:10,520 --> 00:17:12,761 - Guess we'll be walking straight to the courthouse. 441 00:17:12,880 --> 00:17:16,009 [beat-boxing] 442 00:17:19,120 --> 00:17:20,610 - ♪ Ya gotta ♪ - ♪ Gotta be fresh ♪ 443 00:17:20,720 --> 00:17:22,449 - Hey, guys, when the judge reads our sentences, 444 00:17:22,600 --> 00:17:24,648 just don't cry. - Yeah, definitely. 445 00:17:24,760 --> 00:17:26,125 Band of Brajs, we got this. 446 00:17:26,240 --> 00:17:28,242 - Does it smell like burnt tires in here? 447 00:17:28,400 --> 00:17:29,606 Smell, like, a little like something's burning? 448 00:17:29,720 --> 00:17:31,051 - No. - Nice of you 449 00:17:31,160 --> 00:17:33,049 to join us, gentlemen. - Sorry, your Honor, 450 00:17:33,160 --> 00:17:36,243 but took a one-and-a-half in my pants on the elevator. 451 00:17:36,360 --> 00:17:38,442 - Yes, that, uh, definitely happened, 452 00:17:38,560 --> 00:17:40,449 but we won't bother you with our whole morning. 453 00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:42,164 - No, uh... - That's why we're late, 454 00:17:42,280 --> 00:17:43,611 'cause l-l-l shit and pissed my pants- 455 00:17:43,720 --> 00:17:46,087 - Adam, don't. 456 00:17:46,200 --> 00:17:47,440 We're ready to take responsibility 457 00:17:47,560 --> 00:17:50,086 for whatever Waymond told you we did. 458 00:17:50,200 --> 00:17:52,567 - Before Mr. Womano testifies, I understand that he has 459 00:17:52,680 --> 00:17:56,048 some physical evidence that may be pertinent to this case. 460 00:17:56,160 --> 00:17:58,162 - I got pictures of y'all in front of my signs. 461 00:17:58,280 --> 00:18:00,851 You gonna fry. Some ass salad. 462 00:18:00,960 --> 00:18:02,803 [gobbling] 463 00:18:02,920 --> 00:18:04,888 - [mouthing silently] 464 00:18:06,960 --> 00:18:11,568 - [laughing] I mean... 465 00:18:11,680 --> 00:18:15,321 Whoo, wow, I'm hairy. 466 00:18:15,440 --> 00:18:16,965 - I fail to see the relevance of any of this. 467 00:18:17,080 --> 00:18:19,481 - Sir, my wife Colleen is taking a photography class 468 00:18:19,600 --> 00:18:22,444 at the Learning Annex and she needed a sexy model, so... 469 00:18:22,560 --> 00:18:23,891 just move ahead at your discretion. 470 00:18:24,040 --> 00:18:27,123 Oh, bam! There it is! 471 00:18:27,240 --> 00:18:29,925 - Well, would you look at that? Seems like Mr. Walkers 472 00:18:30,040 --> 00:18:31,769 been telling the truth the whole time. 473 00:18:31,920 --> 00:18:34,400 Oh, this one has a little "play" icon in the corner. 474 00:18:34,520 --> 00:18:36,841 Shall I play it and see what we can surmise from this? 475 00:18:39,520 --> 00:18:43,047 - Did you see Monteezy work his magic? 476 00:18:43,160 --> 00:18:45,162 I sold these fools a broke-ass hovercraft 477 00:18:45,280 --> 00:18:47,123 'cause they invite me to their parties. 478 00:18:47,240 --> 00:18:48,844 Now let's go get some tacos and smoothies. 479 00:18:48,960 --> 00:18:50,610 Come on, Waymond. 480 00:18:50,720 --> 00:18:52,210 You're killing me, Waymond! 481 00:18:52,360 --> 00:18:53,486 - [whispers] That's good. That's good. 482 00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:54,886 - After reviewing the evidence, 483 00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:57,890 the court finds in favor of the plaintiffs. 484 00:18:58,000 --> 00:19:00,287 The defendant is ordered to pay repair costs 485 00:19:00,400 --> 00:19:01,811 in their entirety. [rapping gavel] 486 00:19:01,920 --> 00:19:04,127 - But did you see the video? 487 00:19:04,240 --> 00:19:06,322 - You won, gentlemen. 488 00:19:06,440 --> 00:19:09,091 - What? Oh! - We won? 489 00:19:09,200 --> 00:19:10,326 - Whoo! - We did it! 490 00:19:10,440 --> 00:19:13,125 - Whoo, we fucking won! We won! 491 00:19:13,240 --> 00:19:16,323 - Whoo, this party sucks! - [laughing] 492 00:19:16,440 --> 00:19:19,922 All right, a maniac, I like it, very cool. 493 00:19:20,040 --> 00:19:22,930 Hey, don't be shy, dudes. Come on up and take a picture 494 00:19:23,040 --> 00:19:26,487 with the picture of the Rancho Chupacabraj. 495 00:19:26,640 --> 00:19:28,244 Come on, we got one picture for $10, 496 00:19:28,360 --> 00:19:31,170 two pictures for $5, so... 497 00:19:31,280 --> 00:19:34,170 just take two. Two. It's a cheaper deal. 498 00:19:34,280 --> 00:19:36,726 - Yo, Blaze, any day now. 499 00:19:36,840 --> 00:19:38,285 - Oh, yeah. - Hey. guys. 500 00:19:38,400 --> 00:19:40,050 I just want to, uh, take this opportunity 501 00:19:40,160 --> 00:19:43,448 to say welcome to our premier beach house party of the summer! 502 00:19:43,560 --> 00:19:46,086 - Whoa'. Whoa'. Whoa'.! 503 00:19:46,200 --> 00:19:47,804 - Okay, you guys don't seem amped, and I get that. 504 00:19:47,920 --> 00:19:50,048 It's about 98% to 99% dudes here. 505 00:19:50,160 --> 00:19:52,083 - It's mostly dudes. - Yeah. 506 00:19:52,200 --> 00:19:55,409 - That's okay, though, 'cause once this bitch gets soaring, 507 00:19:55,520 --> 00:19:57,443 it's gonna be a chick stampede. - That's right. 508 00:19:57,560 --> 00:19:59,210 - Let's take off those straw cowboy hats, though, 509 00:19:59,320 --> 00:20:00,651 'cause those are for the chicks. 510 00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:02,131 - Hey. loold - Oh! Oh! 511 00:20:02,240 --> 00:20:04,004 - Hey, come in! - No, no. 512 00:20:04,120 --> 00:20:06,361 - Yeah, yeah, she's with me. - Let's go, let's go. 513 00:20:06,480 --> 00:20:08,881 - Fuck this. 514 00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:11,890 [rock music] 515 00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:14,287 $5' 516 00:20:14,440 --> 00:20:15,487 Stop! This doesn't have any brakes! 517 00:20:15,600 --> 00:20:16,647 There's no brakes! 518 00:20:16,760 --> 00:20:18,683 Whoa, whoa, whoa! 519 00:20:19,680 --> 00:20:21,409 - Aah! - Oh... 520 00:20:21,520 --> 00:20:23,045 - That was not our fault. 521 00:20:23,200 --> 00:20:24,531 - Oh, fudge. - That's not our fault. 522 00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:26,563 - Oh, my God. Are you-are you boys okay? 523 00:20:26,680 --> 00:20:28,603 - Yeah, if you mean almost getting decapitated 524 00:20:28,720 --> 00:20:31,883 by your sharp-ass fence, then yeah. Ow! Ow! 525 00:20:32,040 --> 00:20:34,008 Why is your fence so sharp, dude? 526 00:20:34,120 --> 00:20:37,408 - Are you kidding? You just drove a boat through my yard. 527 00:20:37,520 --> 00:20:39,443 - Well, we'll just have to see how that holds up 528 00:20:39,560 --> 00:20:41,369 in small claims court. - Whoo! 529 00:20:41,480 --> 00:20:45,804 - Yeah, that's right. You better lawyer down, sir. 530 00:20:45,920 --> 00:20:47,843 - I am a lawyer. and with this kind of damage, 531 00:20:47,960 --> 00:20:49,246 I'm gonna bring you to big boy court. 532 00:20:49,360 --> 00:20:53,206 - Well, then, shit, sir. 533 00:20:53,320 --> 00:20:55,084 - Nice. 534 00:20:55,200 --> 00:20:56,087 [snorting] 535 00:20:56,200 --> 00:20:57,201 [party horn blows] 536 00:21:00,560 --> 00:21:01,766 - That is ejaculate. - What? 537 00:21:01,880 --> 00:21:03,450 Why do you think that's ejaculate? 538 00:21:03,560 --> 00:21:05,767 - Because it-that's what ejaculate looks like. 539 00:21:05,880 --> 00:21:07,689 - Yeah, it does, but he was in the pool. 540 00:21:07,800 --> 00:21:10,326 - Yeah, birds are flying by, they're ejaculating. 541 00:21:10,440 --> 00:21:12,920 There are squirrels just busting nuts. 542 00:21:13,080 --> 00:21:15,162 - Why aren't more people doing anything about this?