1 00:00:01,160 --> 00:00:03,367 - Okay, we can relax with pep. 2 00:00:03,520 --> 00:00:05,648 And then add a little Jeff Garlic 3 00:00:05,760 --> 00:00:08,001 to curb the enthusiasm of the... 4 00:00:08,120 --> 00:00:11,124 [Phone ringing] Lawry's! 5 00:00:11,280 --> 00:00:14,602 [clears throat] Hello, sir! 6 00:00:14,720 --> 00:00:16,370 Yeah, how are you, dad? 7 00:00:16,480 --> 00:00:19,086 I'm just at the house going over some business stuff. 8 00:00:19,200 --> 00:00:21,089 You know, working overtime. - Oh! 9 00:00:21,200 --> 00:00:23,407 Shipment has arrived! 10 00:00:23,520 --> 00:00:25,090 Karl took a salt pellet to the chest 11 00:00:25,200 --> 00:00:26,440 trying to get it too! 12 00:00:26,560 --> 00:00:28,722 - Oh! Ders, a little help, bud. 13 00:00:28,880 --> 00:00:31,565 - Yes, I- This weekend? 14 00:00:31,680 --> 00:00:34,160 No, not ideal for me. 15 00:00:34,280 --> 00:00:35,770 You booked the ticket? 16 00:00:35,880 --> 00:00:37,245 - Oh, shit. We're gonna rip his head off. 17 00:00:37,360 --> 00:00:38,771 - Well, break the face off or something. 18 00:00:38,880 --> 00:00:40,166 - Okay- 19 00:00:40,280 --> 00:00:41,805 - No, that was just, um- That was a tv. 20 00:00:41,920 --> 00:00:43,888 I'm watching some... Mad Money, 21 00:00:44,000 --> 00:00:46,321 and you know how crazy that guy can get. 22 00:00:46,480 --> 00:00:48,289 Hey. guys. we got a change of plans. 23 00:00:48,440 --> 00:00:51,649 - Grab a sponge, man. We gotta soap this bovine down. 24 00:00:51,760 --> 00:00:53,285 - Yeah, come on, Ders. Don't just stand there. 25 00:00:53,400 --> 00:00:55,050 We gotta jerk this beef, man. 26 00:00:55,200 --> 00:00:57,282 Adam? - Yeah. 27 00:00:57,400 --> 00:00:59,368 - Look, guys, my dad's visiting tomorrow. 28 00:00:59,480 --> 00:01:01,721 [chainsaw buzzing] - That's rad! 29 00:01:01,840 --> 00:01:03,569 - [laughter] Oh, man! 30 00:01:03,680 --> 00:01:06,490 Whoa'.! 31 00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:08,204 Oh. yeah! Very heavy! 32 00:01:08,320 --> 00:01:11,244 - Aa h! Ah-h a-h a-h a! 33 00:01:11,360 --> 00:01:12,930 - Oh! 34 00:01:13,040 --> 00:01:15,407 Whoa'.! 35 00:01:15,520 --> 00:01:17,249 Can I borrow one of your towels? 36 00:01:17,360 --> 00:01:18,885 - You're already using my towel. 37 00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:21,810 All of your towels were my towels. 38 00:01:21,920 --> 00:01:25,845 [beatboxing] 39 00:01:25,960 --> 00:01:28,486 - ♪ I'm fresh ♪ 40 00:01:28,600 --> 00:01:30,204 - ♪ You gotta, you gotta, you gotta ♪ 41 00:01:30,360 --> 00:01:33,807 - ♪ You gotta be fresh ♪ 42 00:01:34,000 --> 00:01:37,322 - Man, that is so cool that your dad is coming this weekend. 43 00:01:37,440 --> 00:01:38,680 Can't wait to meet the guy. 44 00:01:38,800 --> 00:01:40,450 - No, Blake, it's obviously not. 45 00:01:40,560 --> 00:01:42,085 - It's gonna be awesome! Are you kidding? 46 00:01:42,200 --> 00:01:43,406 He gets to meet us, 47 00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:44,726 and then he gets to see the unveiling 48 00:01:44,840 --> 00:01:46,569 of your beef jerky company. 49 00:01:46,680 --> 00:01:48,091 That's like "the proudest dad ever” moment right there. 50 00:01:48,200 --> 00:01:50,282 - Yeah, Meat Jerking Beef Boys. 51 00:01:50,400 --> 00:01:51,686 That's what we're naming it. - Yeah. 52 00:01:51,840 --> 00:01:53,205 - Incorporated maybe. We're not sure. 53 00:01:53,320 --> 00:01:54,890 - I haven't been truthful with my dad 54 00:01:55,000 --> 00:01:57,890 about any aspect of my lifestyle. 55 00:01:58,000 --> 00:02:00,367 - Who cares, man? Everybody lies to their dad. 56 00:02:00,480 --> 00:02:02,687 - My dad still sends me checks for space camp. 57 00:02:02,800 --> 00:02:05,565 I haven't been in like- I never went. 58 00:02:05,680 --> 00:02:08,126 - Dude, my dad's expectations are way higher, all right? 59 00:02:08,240 --> 00:02:10,527 I had to tell him that I was a VP at Telamericorp. 60 00:02:10,640 --> 00:02:12,130 I told him I play 61 00:02:12,240 --> 00:02:14,049 in an all-white squash league on Sundays, 62 00:02:14,160 --> 00:02:17,004 and that I own my own home, which I don't, clearly. 63 00:02:17,120 --> 00:02:18,610 - I wouldn't even worry about it, Ders. 64 00:02:18,720 --> 00:02:20,484 I'm sure your dad has a huge heart. 65 00:02:20,600 --> 00:02:25,242 Probably has a big old... schlonger as well, huh? 66 00:02:25,360 --> 00:02:27,124 Does he? - Oh, yeah! 67 00:02:27,240 --> 00:02:28,401 Dad dicks? - Maybe. 68 00:02:28,520 --> 00:02:30,409 - Oh, dad dicks are huge, man. 69 00:02:30,520 --> 00:02:32,170 And from all the stories I've heard about your dad, 70 00:02:32,280 --> 00:02:33,725 forget it. That's a monster. 71 00:02:33,880 --> 00:02:35,291 - Totally. - Sure. 72 00:02:35,400 --> 00:02:36,811 - That's a monster just trapped in denim. 73 00:02:36,920 --> 00:02:38,160 - I still remember the first dad dick I saw. 74 00:02:38,280 --> 00:02:39,566 - Uh-huh. - I was seven years old. 75 00:02:39,720 --> 00:02:40,960 It was at a Warriors game. 76 00:02:41,080 --> 00:02:42,241 We were at one of those horse troughs. 77 00:02:42,360 --> 00:02:43,850 - Oh, God! - And I'm like... 78 00:02:43,960 --> 00:02:45,485 - With a stream of just power. 79 00:02:45,640 --> 00:02:46,766 - Growling next to you. 80 00:02:46,880 --> 00:02:48,370 - Yeah. - And that's the thing. 81 00:02:48,520 --> 00:02:51,603 Dad dicks in the late '80s, early '90s, 82 00:02:51,720 --> 00:02:53,245 they were bigger. - Yep 83 00:02:53,400 --> 00:02:54,890 - I think there's something shrinking dad dicks. 84 00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:56,126 That should be on 20/20. 85 00:02:56,280 --> 00:02:58,408 - So what is your pops packing? 86 00:02:58,520 --> 00:03:00,966 - Okay, you wanna know? - Yeah. 87 00:03:01,080 --> 00:03:02,605 - I can't even remember- 88 00:03:02,720 --> 00:03:04,324 He has a legit bat. - Yeah. 89 00:03:04,440 --> 00:03:05,771 - I'm not gonna lie. 90 00:03:05,880 --> 00:03:07,211 If I close my eyes, I can see it right now. 91 00:03:07,320 --> 00:03:08,606 It's got the- It goes a little- 92 00:03:08,720 --> 00:03:10,563 - Oh, man, dad dicks, right? Ooh, mama! 93 00:03:10,680 --> 00:03:12,125 - Excuse me. Excuse me. 94 00:03:12,240 --> 00:03:14,447 Hi. Um, I'm Vanessa with McMillan Realty. 95 00:03:14,560 --> 00:03:16,130 We're holding an open house 96 00:03:16,240 --> 00:03:18,322 down the street on Sunday 97 00:03:18,440 --> 00:03:21,171 and I would just absolutely love it if you weren't... 98 00:03:21,280 --> 00:03:23,248 drinking beers on the roof. 99 00:03:23,360 --> 00:03:25,442 - Oh, right. You got it, no problem. 100 00:03:25,600 --> 00:03:26,840 Weed only! - Yep 101 00:03:26,960 --> 00:03:28,610 - Super Blunt Sunday! - Yep 102 00:03:28,720 --> 00:03:31,371 - Super Bowl Sunday! We'll just smoke bowls! 103 00:03:31,520 --> 00:03:33,443 - Or maybe not be on the roof at all. 104 00:03:33,560 --> 00:03:35,403 Sound doable? Thanks! 105 00:03:35,520 --> 00:03:39,081 - Did she just say open house? - Yeah. 106 00:03:39,200 --> 00:03:41,441 - Uh-oh. Hey, I know that look. 107 00:03:41,560 --> 00:03:43,608 - I don't know any of his looks. - Excuse me, Banessa! 108 00:03:43,720 --> 00:03:46,121 - I'm sorry? - It's Banessa, wasn't it? 109 00:03:46,240 --> 00:03:48,049 - No, Va-nessa. 110 00:03:48,160 --> 00:03:50,811 - No, I'm actually positive you came up, you said, "Banessa." 111 00:03:50,920 --> 00:03:52,649 I thought it was a stupid name. 112 00:03:52,760 --> 00:03:54,444 But that's your name and you should stick with it. 113 00:03:54,560 --> 00:03:57,086 I would like to make an offer 114 00:03:57,200 --> 00:03:58,486 to buy that house for the weekend. 115 00:03:58,600 --> 00:04:00,125 Is that a thing? - Oh. 116 00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:01,366 - We can talk when I'm back in town Sunday 117 00:04:01,480 --> 00:04:02,970 for the open house. 118 00:04:03,080 --> 00:04:05,128 You'll see my sign. It's says, "Va-nessa... 119 00:04:05,240 --> 00:04:06,526 with McMillan." 120 00:04:06,680 --> 00:04:07,920 'Kay, thanks again! 121 00:04:08,040 --> 00:04:09,166 - All right. - Ohh. 122 00:04:09,280 --> 00:04:10,520 [laughter] 123 00:04:10,640 --> 00:04:12,483 Oh, I know that look. - Yeah. 124 00:04:12,600 --> 00:04:14,443 - I'm sorry, lady, I don't wanna have sex with you 125 00:04:14,560 --> 00:04:16,164 unless you wanna have sex with me. 126 00:04:16,280 --> 00:04:17,850 In that case, yes, I'll have sex with you. 127 00:04:17,960 --> 00:04:20,327 - Game on. - Yeah. 128 00:04:28,360 --> 00:04:31,250 Shh. - [whispering] Quiet. Shh. 129 00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:36,171 - It's locked. - Shh. I got it. 130 00:04:36,280 --> 00:04:37,964 - What are you doing? - Shh! Quiet. 131 00:04:38,080 --> 00:04:39,525 - Dude! 132 00:04:39,640 --> 00:04:40,971 - Nope, that was- - Yeah. 133 00:04:41,080 --> 00:04:42,366 - Well, I don't know what to do. 134 00:04:42,480 --> 00:04:43,766 Just kidding. Yeah, I do. 135 00:04:43,880 --> 00:04:46,167 - What are you doing? - Shh. Quiet. 136 00:04:46,280 --> 00:04:48,362 All right, well- - Get it, just-Okay. 137 00:04:48,480 --> 00:04:52,280 Jesus. - Shh. Quiet. 138 00:04:52,400 --> 00:04:54,926 Hola... to De Casa de Ders. 139 00:04:55,040 --> 00:04:56,326 - Thank you. - Get in there. 140 00:04:56,480 --> 00:04:59,450 - Hey, hey, hey. - Hey 141 00:04:59,560 --> 00:05:01,005 - You sure this is a good idea, man? 142 00:05:01,120 --> 00:05:02,690 This place is nice. 143 00:05:02,800 --> 00:05:04,165 I don't wanna go to jail for breaking that entering. 144 00:05:04,320 --> 00:05:06,368 - Nobody's going to jail, dude. 145 00:05:06,480 --> 00:05:09,290 The house is staged, man. It's a fake house, dude! 146 00:05:09,400 --> 00:05:10,811 - This is a good idea. 147 00:05:10,920 --> 00:05:12,365 If we get outta here by Sunday, it's perfect. 148 00:05:12,480 --> 00:05:13,766 I mean, my dad's here on business, right? 149 00:05:13,880 --> 00:05:15,211 So he's pressed for time. 150 00:05:15,320 --> 00:05:16,845 He'll come by the house, quick visit, 151 00:05:17,000 --> 00:05:18,331 then I'll take him to dinner, back to the hotel, 152 00:05:18,440 --> 00:05:19,566 and he's back outta my life again. 153 00:05:19,680 --> 00:05:21,205 - Yeah, all right. 154 00:05:21,320 --> 00:05:23,209 What do you say we Ders-sersify this little peach pit? 155 00:05:23,320 --> 00:05:26,130 - Yeah, this couch smells nothing like you. 156 00:05:26,240 --> 00:05:27,605 You should rub your balls on it. 157 00:05:27,760 --> 00:05:29,171 - Nah, I don't think I have to do that. 158 00:05:29,280 --> 00:05:30,611 - Yeah, I'll start. I'll start it off. 159 00:05:30,720 --> 00:05:32,165 - All right. - Get this man-musk in here. 160 00:05:32,280 --> 00:05:33,964 - I'll go shit in the bathroom. 161 00:05:34,080 --> 00:05:35,684 - You know, I didn't masturbate until I was 18 years old? 162 00:05:35,800 --> 00:05:37,802 I would just have sex with items around my house. 163 00:05:37,920 --> 00:05:39,763 - Or just, like, put my clothes in the closet. 164 00:05:39,880 --> 00:05:43,407 You know, we don't need to hump. We don't need to go...poop. 165 00:05:43,520 --> 00:05:45,761 - Yeah. Welcome home. 166 00:05:45,880 --> 00:05:47,962 Whoo! - It smells good in here. 167 00:05:48,080 --> 00:05:49,366 - All right, dudes, he's gonna be here soon 168 00:05:49,480 --> 00:05:50,606 and the living room's almost- 169 00:05:50,720 --> 00:05:52,449 what the fuck are you wearing? 170 00:05:52,560 --> 00:05:55,086 - Well, if you'd gone to see G.I. Joe: Retaliation 171 00:05:55,200 --> 00:05:56,645 like you said you were going to, 172 00:05:56,760 --> 00:05:59,809 you would know that this is my Sergeant Slaughter outfit. 173 00:05:59,960 --> 00:06:02,566 And this is my very good friend Shipwreck. 174 00:06:02,680 --> 00:06:04,682 - Hello. - Hello. 175 00:06:04,840 --> 00:06:05,966 - Uh, got that. 176 00:06:06,080 --> 00:06:07,411 Why are you wearing them right now? 177 00:06:07,520 --> 00:06:09,488 - You talked yourself up so big. 178 00:06:09,600 --> 00:06:11,170 We didn't want you to be best friends 179 00:06:11,280 --> 00:06:12,964 with a couple of doo-doo heads. 180 00:06:13,080 --> 00:06:14,570 - Mm-mm. 181 00:06:14,680 --> 00:06:16,250 - Yeah, so which one of these rooms is mine? 182 00:06:16,360 --> 00:06:17,805 Because I got this necklace of yours I wanna hang up. 183 00:06:17,920 --> 00:06:19,046 - I don't know how to break this to you- 184 00:06:19,160 --> 00:06:20,685 - What should I call your dad? 185 00:06:20,800 --> 00:06:22,768 Should I call him Mr. Holmvik or Ders' dad? 186 00:06:22,880 --> 00:06:24,211 Or 'gust pap'? 187 00:06:24,360 --> 00:06:25,964 - He likes it when you call him Big Papi. 188 00:06:26,080 --> 00:06:27,570 - Look, you guys are not gonna meet my dad! 189 00:06:27,680 --> 00:06:29,125 Okay? I'm sorry. 190 00:06:29,280 --> 00:06:30,486 It's just that I told him I live alone. 191 00:06:30,600 --> 00:06:31,886 And I'll be perfectly honest. 192 00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:33,411 He doesn't even know that you exist. 193 00:06:33,520 --> 00:06:35,363 - How does he not know your best friends exist? 194 00:06:35,480 --> 00:06:37,050 [doorbell] - Okay, that's him. 195 00:06:37,160 --> 00:06:39,208 Please go. Just go. Please? 196 00:06:39,320 --> 00:06:40,526 - That doesn't make- - Are you that ashamed of us? 197 00:06:40,640 --> 00:06:42,210 - Yes! I am ashamed of you. 198 00:06:42,320 --> 00:06:43,890 My dad is a big...dog, and you guys are just pup- 199 00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:46,002 - I am a wolf! I am a big dog too! 200 00:06:46,120 --> 00:06:47,406 - You're a porch puppy. So are you. 201 00:06:47,520 --> 00:06:49,921 - That's racist. - Okay, wow. 202 00:06:50,040 --> 00:06:51,963 - Dersy! - Hey 203 00:06:52,080 --> 00:06:55,050 - Go! 204 00:06:55,160 --> 00:06:57,686 - Oh. Good to see you, sir. No, uh, rental? 205 00:06:57,800 --> 00:06:59,404 - No Jags-all Malibus. 206 00:06:59,560 --> 00:07:00,925 That's not a tough call. - Right. 207 00:07:01,040 --> 00:07:02,246 - I'm surprised you saw that 208 00:07:02,400 --> 00:07:03,845 with that mop of hair in your eyes. 209 00:07:03,960 --> 00:07:05,610 - Right, well, I was, uh- I was just gonna get- 210 00:07:05,720 --> 00:07:06,926 - Ooh. - Get it cut. 211 00:07:07,040 --> 00:07:08,326 And it's so good to see you! 212 00:07:08,440 --> 00:07:11,887 It's just been so long. 213 00:07:13,560 --> 00:07:15,005 - That's a long hug. 214 00:07:15,160 --> 00:07:16,525 [beatboxing] 215 00:07:16,640 --> 00:07:17,926 - ♪ You gotta ♪ - ♪ You gotta be fresh ♪ 216 00:07:19,840 --> 00:07:21,490 [beatboxing] 217 00:07:21,600 --> 00:07:25,650 - This is your first house. - Yeah, this is all mine. 218 00:07:25,760 --> 00:07:27,888 I bought it, I live here. It's really mine. 219 00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:29,923 But, uh, we should get going 220 00:07:30,040 --> 00:07:31,724 'cause I got the chef's table at McCormick & Schmick's, 221 00:07:31,840 --> 00:07:33,171 and, uh, you know- 222 00:07:33,280 --> 00:07:34,964 - Orange roughy sounds like hell right now. 223 00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:36,764 We're Holmviks. We're going to Morton's. 224 00:07:36,880 --> 00:07:38,962 Yeah, I need a beer. 225 00:07:39,080 --> 00:07:41,401 - Yeah, um, let me see what I got. 226 00:07:41,560 --> 00:07:43,449 There might- - Well, what's the deal here? 227 00:07:43,560 --> 00:07:45,403 - You know, I'm never home 'cause I'm always at, uh... 228 00:07:45,520 --> 00:07:46,885 business dinners, you know, making deals. 229 00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:48,764 Just wheelin' and dealin'. 230 00:07:48,880 --> 00:07:51,724 So, uh, yeah, this is the main hallway here. 231 00:07:51,840 --> 00:07:53,683 Kind of a gallery. 232 00:07:53,800 --> 00:07:57,725 Um, and in here is, uh... 233 00:07:57,840 --> 00:08:02,323 This is my hot yoga studio. Yeah. 234 00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:03,726 - Wait, wait a minute. 235 00:08:03,840 --> 00:08:05,729 I know what's going on here. 236 00:08:05,880 --> 00:08:07,882 You're prepping this place to sell. 237 00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:11,368 - No, I'm-Yeah, I'm gonna sell this place, dad. 238 00:08:11,480 --> 00:08:12,811 - Now I gotta hit the john. 239 00:08:12,920 --> 00:08:14,684 Make some room for that Porterhouse. 240 00:08:14,800 --> 00:08:16,370 You should too. - I'm all right. 241 00:08:16,480 --> 00:08:18,084 - Just do it. - Okay. 242 00:08:18,200 --> 00:08:19,326 - [grunting] 243 00:08:19,440 --> 00:08:20,885 [bottles clanking] Whoo! 244 00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:23,685 - Ooh. I say we leave this as the cooling room. 245 00:08:23,800 --> 00:08:27,043 And then my room will be a little jerk flavoring, 246 00:08:27,160 --> 00:08:29,811 jerking station without any jerking. 247 00:08:29,920 --> 00:08:31,490 I won't do that if we hang the meat in there. 248 00:08:31,600 --> 00:08:33,443 - That's a good call. That's a good call, man. 249 00:08:33,560 --> 00:08:34,766 And I'm thinking we can use my room 250 00:08:34,880 --> 00:08:36,325 to house all the models 251 00:08:36,440 --> 00:08:38,249 for the Meat Jerking Beef Boys Girls calendar. 252 00:08:38,360 --> 00:08:41,364 Right? I say we sprinkle some pepper over these babes, 253 00:08:41,480 --> 00:08:43,323 smother them in teriyaki. 254 00:08:43,440 --> 00:08:45,807 It's like jerky, but jerky that you wanna have sex with. 255 00:08:45,960 --> 00:08:47,644 - Marinade 'em and then masturbate to 'em. 256 00:08:47,760 --> 00:08:49,125 - Sex jerky. That'll sell. 257 00:08:49,240 --> 00:08:50,480 - You're a freakin' genius, man. 258 00:08:50,600 --> 00:08:51,840 - No, I know. I know that. 259 00:08:51,960 --> 00:08:53,450 - And that just proves my theory 260 00:08:53,560 --> 00:08:55,085 that Ders has been holding back our super friendship 261 00:08:55,200 --> 00:08:56,645 this whole time. 262 00:08:56,760 --> 00:08:58,171 - Let's hit this A.C., cool this bitch out. 263 00:08:58,280 --> 00:08:59,884 - Good call. 264 00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:01,445 - Hit the fan, science guy. - You got it, science bro. 265 00:09:01,600 --> 00:09:03,807 - Whoo! Plug this bitch in! - You got it. 266 00:09:03,920 --> 00:09:06,651 - All right, let's crank some cow cuttin' tunes! 267 00:09:06,760 --> 00:09:08,489 - I got you on that. Here we go. 268 00:09:08,600 --> 00:09:09,806 Kick out the jams! 269 00:09:09,920 --> 00:09:11,081 [heavy metal music plays] - [growls] 270 00:09:11,200 --> 00:09:12,361 - Whoo! - Yeah! 271 00:09:12,480 --> 00:09:14,369 - Nice. 272 00:09:14,480 --> 00:09:15,606 Both: Yeah! 273 00:09:15,720 --> 00:09:17,484 - Lopping off a piece. 274 00:09:17,600 --> 00:09:18,806 Ag h! 275 00:09:18,920 --> 00:09:21,207 Clean cut! Clean cut! - Whoa! 276 00:09:21,320 --> 00:09:23,402 - Yeah, crank that bitch down. - That's really hairy. 277 00:09:23,520 --> 00:09:25,204 - That's okay, man. Hair. 278 00:09:25,320 --> 00:09:26,651 It'll add some spice. It'll add some seasoning. 279 00:09:26,760 --> 00:09:28,524 - All right. - Gamy. A gamy taste. 280 00:09:28,640 --> 00:09:30,369 That's what our jerky's gonna be. 281 00:09:30,480 --> 00:09:33,131 It's gonna be a little gam- [power shuts oft] 282 00:09:33,240 --> 00:09:34,969 Okay- 283 00:09:35,080 --> 00:09:36,366 - Well, n-n-now why did that happen? 284 00:09:36,480 --> 00:09:38,721 Shoot - Probably it's just... 285 00:09:38,840 --> 00:09:40,251 plugged up a little bit. 286 00:09:40,360 --> 00:09:42,124 - Yeah, go for it. 287 00:09:42,240 --> 00:09:45,164 [buzzing, music blares] both: Whoa! 288 00:09:45,280 --> 00:09:46,725 - One, two, three, four, five. 289 00:09:46,840 --> 00:09:47,966 - Yep, I'm all good to go. - Okay, whew! 290 00:09:48,080 --> 00:09:49,969 [doorbell] 291 00:09:50,080 --> 00:09:52,481 - Well, look who it is. 292 00:09:52,600 --> 00:09:54,568 If it isn't Judas Priest... 293 00:09:54,680 --> 00:09:56,569 from the Bible, not the band. 'Cause that'd be cool. 294 00:09:56,680 --> 00:09:58,330 - What are you guys doing here? 295 00:09:58,440 --> 00:09:59,930 - Believe me, we don't like this as much as you do. 296 00:10:00,040 --> 00:10:02,646 But we have a few questions about our house. 297 00:10:02,760 --> 00:10:04,410 - Our house, where we live, not you. 298 00:10:04,520 --> 00:10:06,329 - Dersy! Dersy! You're out of T.P. 299 00:10:06,440 --> 00:10:08,249 Luckily, I had a clean pinch. 300 00:10:08,360 --> 00:10:10,089 - Right, um... - Whoa. 301 00:10:10,200 --> 00:10:11,929 - What up? Hey! 302 00:10:12,040 --> 00:10:14,691 I'm Adam. It's great to finally meet you. 303 00:10:14,840 --> 00:10:15,966 We live right over there. 304 00:10:16,080 --> 00:10:17,525 - How's it going? 305 00:10:17,640 --> 00:10:19,244 It's a pleasure to meet you, sir. 306 00:10:19,360 --> 00:10:21,442 It's very nice to meet you. - Thor. Thor Holmvik. 307 00:10:21,560 --> 00:10:24,166 - Thor? Your name is Thor? 308 00:10:24,280 --> 00:10:25,930 Ah! That is so- 309 00:10:26,040 --> 00:10:27,166 I didn't know white people had cool names anymore. 310 00:10:27,280 --> 00:10:29,601 - He has a god's name. 311 00:10:29,720 --> 00:10:31,449 - Tell me you name your dick "Thor's Hammer." 312 00:10:31,560 --> 00:10:33,608 - Nope, he doesn't. - You have to at that point. 313 00:10:33,720 --> 00:10:35,210 - You have to. If you're named Thor? 314 00:10:35,360 --> 00:10:37,249 You definitely hit 'em with the hammer, baby. 315 00:10:37,360 --> 00:10:38,885 - Rad. 316 00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:41,082 - Okay, I think, uh, you guys should get going, right? 317 00:10:41,240 --> 00:10:42,924 You need to go, probably? 318 00:10:43,040 --> 00:10:44,804 - Actually, since our houses have similar layouts, 319 00:10:44,920 --> 00:10:46,604 I was wondering if I could ask you a question. 320 00:10:46,720 --> 00:10:47,926 Where's your fuse box? 321 00:10:48,080 --> 00:10:50,242 And also how do you de-blow a fuse? 322 00:10:50,360 --> 00:10:51,725 Is that a thing? Do you de-blow it? 323 00:10:51,880 --> 00:10:53,325 - It's probably in the hallway. 324 00:10:53,440 --> 00:10:55,488 - Okay, so where would it- 325 00:10:55,600 --> 00:10:56,931 where would it be in our house then? 326 00:10:57,040 --> 00:10:59,441 - Could be behind that Van Halen poster 327 00:10:59,560 --> 00:11:02,291 above the Glade Plugln in your house. 328 00:11:02,400 --> 00:11:03,925 - Okay, so your fuse is in your hallway. 329 00:11:04,040 --> 00:11:06,281 We're talking about our house. 330 00:11:06,400 --> 00:11:07,561 - Good luck with the fuse box. 331 00:11:07,680 --> 00:11:09,205 - Great to meet you. - Hold on! 332 00:11:09,320 --> 00:11:10,606 We'd like to play Apples to Apples with Thor! 333 00:11:10,720 --> 00:11:12,085 - No! Just get out of here. 334 00:11:12,200 --> 00:11:13,929 - It's a good thing you're moving. 335 00:11:14,040 --> 00:11:16,646 With those two bisexual tweekers living across the street, 336 00:11:16,760 --> 00:11:18,922 might as well be living in a goddamn condominium. 337 00:11:19,040 --> 00:11:20,371 - Yeah, um... 338 00:11:20,480 --> 00:11:22,528 what makes you say they're bisexual? 339 00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:23,846 [engine sputters] 340 00:11:23,960 --> 00:11:28,443 Ah, geez. 341 00:11:28,560 --> 00:11:30,528 - Does this happen often? 342 00:11:30,640 --> 00:11:32,642 - Well, you know, it's part of the charm. 343 00:11:32,760 --> 00:11:35,206 It's mom's old '\/o. It keeps me humble. 344 00:11:35,320 --> 00:11:36,651 - Well, excuse me. 345 00:11:36,800 --> 00:11:38,290 You're a Holmvik, not a Humblevik. 346 00:11:38,400 --> 00:11:40,562 You finally got something not to be humble about. 347 00:11:40,720 --> 00:11:42,131 - Right. 348 00:11:42,240 --> 00:11:43,844 - Okay, we're going to the Volvo dealership. 349 00:11:43,960 --> 00:11:45,803 - Well, I think we'll go to dinner, and then after- 350 00:11:45,920 --> 00:11:47,160 - No, after dinner, 351 00:11:47,280 --> 00:11:48,566 you're gonna be cresting a buck thirty 352 00:11:48,680 --> 00:11:49,886 in your brand-new black vagina finder. 353 00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:51,604 - Okay, well... 354 00:11:51,720 --> 00:11:53,245 you know, I think black cars attract a lotta heat, so- 355 00:11:53,400 --> 00:11:55,368 - I wasn't talking about the car. 356 00:11:55,480 --> 00:11:58,848 Have you seen that B.E.T. Network? 357 00:11:58,960 --> 00:12:01,691 - Can't believe that selfish bitch is keeping his dad 358 00:12:01,800 --> 00:12:03,802 all to himself. - Ah! 359 00:12:03,920 --> 00:12:06,605 - He's being a little bitch. - Selfish little bitch, man. 360 00:12:06,720 --> 00:12:08,848 You can't keep Thor from all the mortals. 361 00:12:08,960 --> 00:12:10,485 He belongs to us. 362 00:12:10,600 --> 00:12:12,090 - Yeah, well, at least we have a meat locker now. 363 00:12:12,200 --> 00:12:14,043 Dude, if he were here right now, I'd be like... 364 00:12:14,160 --> 00:12:15,366 [screams] - Yeah. 365 00:12:15,480 --> 00:12:16,891 - Yeah! 366 00:12:17,000 --> 00:12:19,048 - Yeah, I'd be like, "Hey. Oh, hi, Ders. 367 00:12:19,160 --> 00:12:21,162 Oh, yeah, buh-bye, Ders!" 368 00:12:21,280 --> 00:12:24,921 [both grunting] 369 00:12:25,040 --> 00:12:27,008 - Oh, split your head open, more like it! 370 00:12:27,120 --> 00:12:28,690 And then you die! 371 00:12:28,800 --> 00:12:30,370 - "Hey, where's this guy's butthole?" 372 00:12:30,520 --> 00:12:31,646 I'm gonna be, "Right there." 373 00:12:31,760 --> 00:12:33,091 and he's gonna be like, 374 00:12:33,200 --> 00:12:34,964 'Well, I'm gonna dive on into your ass!" 375 00:12:35,080 --> 00:12:38,050 - How about you show us a little r-e-s-pee in your mouth? 376 00:12:38,160 --> 00:12:40,322 - What! Hey, no, stop! 377 00:12:40,440 --> 00:12:42,044 Hey, we have to eat that! 378 00:12:42,160 --> 00:12:43,525 - It's hard to stop once you start. 379 00:12:43,640 --> 00:12:44,766 Okay. - All right. 380 00:12:44,880 --> 00:12:46,006 No, get it. Get it. - All right. 381 00:12:46,160 --> 00:12:48,242 Okay, whoo! 382 00:12:48,360 --> 00:12:49,725 All right, well, I'll go get some bleach. 383 00:12:49,840 --> 00:12:51,808 A little Lawry's seasoning, right? 384 00:12:51,920 --> 00:12:53,570 - Yeah. 385 00:12:53,680 --> 00:12:55,250 Seasoning, yes. - Sorry. 386 00:12:55,360 --> 00:12:58,284 - Hey, you know, before we, uh, jump the gun here, 387 00:12:58,400 --> 00:13:01,290 I was looking at this certified pre-owned wagon over there. 388 00:13:01,400 --> 00:13:02,640 That could be kinda cool- a shaggin' wagon. 389 00:13:02,800 --> 00:13:04,484 - I understand your hesitation. 390 00:13:04,600 --> 00:13:06,489 You've got all this money now, and you're wondering, 391 00:13:06,600 --> 00:13:08,125 Should I really be flaunting this 392 00:13:08,240 --> 00:13:10,242 when so many have so little? - Yeah, exactly. 393 00:13:10,360 --> 00:13:12,089 - And the answer is yes. 394 00:13:12,200 --> 00:13:14,885 Goddamn, you're gonna get some wild tail in this car. 395 00:13:15,000 --> 00:13:16,206 - Don't I know it? 396 00:13:16,320 --> 00:13:18,402 I mean, I probably would. I will. 397 00:13:18,520 --> 00:13:21,091 - You know, we need to celebrate. 398 00:13:21,200 --> 00:13:23,043 I'm gonna cancel all my business appointments 399 00:13:23,160 --> 00:13:24,844 and I'm gonna be bunking with my boy 400 00:13:24,960 --> 00:13:26,962 on his beautiful Oriental couch. 401 00:13:27,080 --> 00:13:28,650 I'd take your room, 402 00:13:28,760 --> 00:13:30,330 but a Holmvik never sleeps in another man's bed. 403 00:13:30,440 --> 00:13:31,771 - Yeah, no. I know. 404 00:13:31,880 --> 00:13:33,450 Sir... 405 00:13:33,560 --> 00:13:38,361 I can't...go on just not saying this so, um... 406 00:13:38,480 --> 00:13:40,084 - No, no, no. No. No. No! 407 00:13:40,200 --> 00:13:42,407 There's something I need to tell you. 408 00:13:42,520 --> 00:13:46,047 I am proud of you, Anders. 409 00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:51,890 - [retching] 410 00:14:15,600 --> 00:14:17,841 - I figured there'd be a lot less blood. 411 00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:19,570 - Yeah, me too. 412 00:14:19,680 --> 00:14:20,920 - I didn't realize there was so much blood in a cow. 413 00:14:21,040 --> 00:14:22,451 - Very involved process. 414 00:14:22,560 --> 00:14:23,891 ' Oh. my God! 415 00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:25,445 What is that smell? 416 00:14:25,560 --> 00:14:27,449 - Well...it's the blood, Anders. 417 00:14:27,560 --> 00:14:29,085 - It's the blood. There's blood everywhere. 418 00:14:29,200 --> 00:14:30,929 And guts. It's jerky. It's pre-jerky. 419 00:14:31,040 --> 00:14:32,405 - Okay, whatever, dude. I got an emergency. 420 00:14:32,520 --> 00:14:33,851 My dad's trying to crash at my place. 421 00:14:33,960 --> 00:14:35,405 He's not going to a hotel. 422 00:14:35,560 --> 00:14:37,403 The open house tomorrow is totally gonna blow my cover. 423 00:14:37,560 --> 00:14:39,050 - Oh, you poor little baby bitch. 424 00:14:39,160 --> 00:14:40,446 What's the matter? 425 00:14:40,560 --> 00:14:41,686 Did Thor kick you out of the Avengers? 426 00:14:41,800 --> 00:14:42,926 - Yeah. - Sorry! 427 00:14:43,040 --> 00:14:44,201 We're the X-Men. 428 00:14:44,360 --> 00:14:45,486 You must be looking for X-Friends. 429 00:14:45,600 --> 00:14:46,840 I think they're down the road. 430 00:14:46,960 --> 00:14:48,166 - Yeah, like we would ever help you out 431 00:14:48,320 --> 00:14:49,446 in a "quimillion" years. - Not happening. 432 00:14:49,560 --> 00:14:50,766 - Yeah, that's not gonna happen. 433 00:14:50,880 --> 00:14:52,609 Why would we ever help you, dude? 434 00:14:52,720 --> 00:14:54,210 - Because I'm gonna give you my Brazzers password. 435 00:14:54,320 --> 00:14:55,651 - Fine, we'll be the bigger men here. 436 00:14:55,760 --> 00:14:56,921 - Here's what I'm thinking. 437 00:14:57,080 --> 00:14:58,411 You guys should come by the house, 438 00:14:58,520 --> 00:15:00,010 make it look like there's a break-in, 439 00:15:00,120 --> 00:15:01,770 just tip over some chairs, empty a drawer or two. 440 00:15:01,920 --> 00:15:03,490 Just enough to freak him out so he goes and stays at a hotel. 441 00:15:03,600 --> 00:15:05,011 You know what I mean? 442 00:15:05,120 --> 00:15:06,690 - Let's do it. 443 00:15:06,840 --> 00:15:08,729 - We want that password first though. 444 00:15:08,840 --> 00:15:10,171 - That's not gonna happen. 445 00:15:10,280 --> 00:15:12,408 - Strong move. We'll do it your way. 446 00:15:12,520 --> 00:15:15,842 - Okay- 447 00:15:15,960 --> 00:15:17,849 Okay, now just watch me. - Yeah. 448 00:15:17,960 --> 00:15:19,086 - All right? - Oh! 449 00:15:19,200 --> 00:15:21,168 - Watch me. - Yeah! 450 00:15:21,280 --> 00:15:23,851 Okay- 451 00:15:32,720 --> 00:15:35,291 - Yeah, we're good to go. 452 00:15:35,400 --> 00:15:37,050 His wallet. 453 00:15:37,160 --> 00:15:39,367 You know, maybe we're being too hard on Ders, man. 454 00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:41,528 He just...loves his dad a weird amount. 455 00:15:41,640 --> 00:15:43,768 - Yeah, you know, it's gotta mess with his head. 456 00:15:43,920 --> 00:15:45,922 His dad is just swinging Thor's hammer, 457 00:15:46,040 --> 00:15:48,168 and, you know, Ders is working with that little ice pick. 458 00:15:48,280 --> 00:15:50,044 It's a big dick to live up to. 459 00:15:50,160 --> 00:15:54,563 - But no giant dad cocks in the world can explain this. 460 00:15:54,720 --> 00:15:57,326 G.I. Joe: Retaliation ticket stub. 461 00:15:57,440 --> 00:15:59,044 He saw it without us! 462 00:15:59,160 --> 00:16:01,208 I don't know whether to cry or explode from anger. 463 00:16:01,320 --> 00:16:02,845 - You know what, I don't even care 464 00:16:02,960 --> 00:16:05,247 how many freakin' passwords that guy gives us. 465 00:16:05,400 --> 00:16:07,402 We should be ashamed of him! 466 00:16:07,520 --> 00:16:10,171 - Oh, I'm so ashamed to be that dude's friend. 467 00:16:10,320 --> 00:16:11,560 - Yeah, we're good friends! 468 00:16:11,680 --> 00:16:13,011 - I'm proud to be your friend, man! 469 00:16:13,120 --> 00:16:14,281 - I'm proud to be your friend! 470 00:16:14,400 --> 00:16:15,811 - I'm ashamed of that dude! 471 00:16:15,920 --> 00:16:17,365 - That guy sucks and he doesn't appreciate us. 472 00:16:17,480 --> 00:16:18,970 - Yeah, that dude doesn't appreciate me. 473 00:16:19,120 --> 00:16:20,645 Doesn't appreciate me, doesn't appreciate- 474 00:16:20,760 --> 00:16:22,603 - Appreciate this! - Doesn't appreciate shit! 475 00:16:22,720 --> 00:16:24,529 - How about you appreciate this? - Oh! 476 00:16:24,640 --> 00:16:27,041 How about you appreciate this? 477 00:16:27,160 --> 00:16:28,286 How about you appreciate that? 478 00:16:28,400 --> 00:16:29,925 - Yeah. - Oh, hi, Ders. 479 00:16:30,040 --> 00:16:32,008 - Where's your little baby dick now? 480 00:16:32,120 --> 00:16:33,326 Where's your little baby dick now? 481 00:16:33,440 --> 00:16:35,044 - Uh, is there a hide-a-bed in here? 482 00:16:35,160 --> 00:16:36,491 That is very heavy. - No, this is- 483 00:16:36,640 --> 00:16:37,766 - Let's find something else to break. 484 00:16:37,880 --> 00:16:39,006 - Okay- 485 00:16:39,120 --> 00:16:40,246 - Whoa, hang on, hang on. Hang on. 486 00:16:40,360 --> 00:16:41,600 - What? What? - The door. 487 00:16:41,720 --> 00:16:43,085 - Dad, I think I've been robbed. 488 00:16:43,200 --> 00:16:45,009 - What's going on? - We need to be careful. 489 00:16:45,120 --> 00:16:46,451 Let's just get your stuff. We'll get you back to the hotel. 490 00:16:46,560 --> 00:16:47,766 It's definitely not safe here, dad. 491 00:16:47,880 --> 00:16:49,006 - Come on. - Dad! 492 00:16:49,120 --> 00:16:51,282 We've been robbed! 493 00:16:51,400 --> 00:16:53,323 Oh, my God. - What the hell's going on? 494 00:16:53,440 --> 00:16:56,683 - This isn't what I... expected to come home to. 495 00:16:56,800 --> 00:16:59,201 Uh, dad, I'm gonna call the cops real quick. 496 00:16:59,320 --> 00:17:01,288 Adam, do not send me to voice-mail. 497 00:17:01,400 --> 00:17:03,687 Pick up your phone. This is not cool, all right? 498 00:17:03,800 --> 00:17:06,041 [squish] 499 00:17:14,600 --> 00:17:19,208 All right, dad, they're gonna send over the CSI guys to, um... 500 00:17:19,320 --> 00:17:21,482 you know, look for prints, or... 501 00:17:21,640 --> 00:17:24,007 uh...pubes or fibers or whatever. Dad? 502 00:17:24,120 --> 00:17:26,964 Hey. dad? 503 00:17:27,080 --> 00:17:28,570 Oh, no. 504 00:17:28,680 --> 00:17:30,170 - Hello! 505 00:17:30,280 --> 00:17:33,682 I know you weedheads are up to something! 506 00:17:47,360 --> 00:17:50,762 California. Land of fruits and nuts. 507 00:17:50,920 --> 00:17:53,321 - ♪ He's insane ♪ 508 00:17:55,040 --> 00:17:58,249 [beatboxing] 509 00:17:58,360 --> 00:17:59,521 - Thor! Hey! 510 00:17:59,680 --> 00:18:01,205 - What's going on here? - Whoa! 511 00:18:01,320 --> 00:18:02,685 - You sickos! 512 00:18:02,800 --> 00:18:04,086 - Oh, sh- He's got Thor's hammer! 513 00:18:04,200 --> 00:18:05,611 - He's got two Thor's hammers. 514 00:18:05,720 --> 00:18:07,210 - Sir, no! Please! 515 00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:08,765 - These two perverts robbed you... 516 00:18:08,880 --> 00:18:11,042 and made some sort of sick voodoo, 517 00:18:11,160 --> 00:18:12,764 bisexual jack-off shrine. 518 00:18:12,880 --> 00:18:14,882 - No, sir, trust me. No one's jacked-off in here. 519 00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:16,126 - You've never jacked-off in here? 520 00:18:16,280 --> 00:18:18,362 - Yeah, ljack-off in here, but no- 521 00:18:18,480 --> 00:18:19,891 - Okay, so have I. 522 00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:21,161 - I'm trying to tell him- Sir, this is- 523 00:18:21,280 --> 00:18:22,725 this is my bedroom. 524 00:18:22,840 --> 00:18:24,808 This is the house I live in. - What? 525 00:18:24,920 --> 00:18:26,570 - Yeah, I've been lying to you about my job, 526 00:18:26,680 --> 00:18:28,045 about where I live, 527 00:18:28,160 --> 00:18:30,128 and these two bisexual tweekers are- 528 00:18:30,240 --> 00:18:31,526 These are my best friends. 529 00:18:31,640 --> 00:18:32,846 - Best friends, huh? 530 00:18:32,960 --> 00:18:34,610 That's funny because 531 00:18:34,720 --> 00:18:37,405 why'd you ditch us and go see Retaliation solo? 532 00:18:37,520 --> 00:18:38,726 - Ticket stub right here. 533 00:18:38,840 --> 00:18:40,205 - Look, guys, come on. 534 00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:42,482 You were dressed in full G.I. Joe regalia. 535 00:18:42,640 --> 00:18:44,244 It's a Channing Tatum movie. 536 00:18:44,360 --> 00:18:46,249 There's gonna be down babes there. 537 00:18:46,360 --> 00:18:48,328 - Actually, you're right. I never even thought about that. 538 00:18:48,480 --> 00:18:50,244 - We should be better at this kinda stuff, like girls. 539 00:18:50,360 --> 00:18:51,725 - It wasn't cool of me. I'm sorry. 540 00:18:51,840 --> 00:18:53,410 - Apology accepted... 541 00:18:53,520 --> 00:18:56,000 Anders, son of Thor. 542 00:18:56,120 --> 00:18:57,610 - Actually... 543 00:18:57,720 --> 00:19:00,530 I have a little secret myself. 544 00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:02,449 - Oh, my God. Tell me he's gay. 545 00:19:02,560 --> 00:19:04,005 I've always wanted to be around someone 546 00:19:04,160 --> 00:19:05,446 when they come out of the closet. 547 00:19:05,560 --> 00:19:06,925 - I lost my job three months ago. 548 00:19:07,080 --> 00:19:10,004 Haven't told a soul. 549 00:19:10,120 --> 00:19:11,360 It's bad, Dersy. 550 00:19:11,480 --> 00:19:13,164 We may lose the house. 551 00:19:13,280 --> 00:19:15,647 - Oh, my God. 552 00:19:15,800 --> 00:19:19,407 - The lake house. Sorry about the pause. 553 00:19:19,520 --> 00:19:22,729 - Oh. - Very misleading, Mr. Thor. 554 00:19:22,840 --> 00:19:24,410 - Okay, just so we're clear, there's no gay part? 555 00:19:24,520 --> 00:19:27,842 - Just one. 556 00:19:27,960 --> 00:19:29,371 - What? 557 00:19:29,520 --> 00:19:31,124 - Oh. - Whoa! [laughing] 558 00:19:31,240 --> 00:19:32,651 - Oh, I thought they were gonna kiss. 559 00:19:32,760 --> 00:19:34,046 - Oh, yeah. 560 00:19:34,160 --> 00:19:35,605 Sure. - Yeah. 561 00:19:35,720 --> 00:19:37,324 - So you guys are sure 562 00:19:37,440 --> 00:19:38,680 we got all the photos out of that house of me, right? 563 00:19:38,800 --> 00:19:40,643 - Oh, yeah. There's nothing in there 564 00:19:40,760 --> 00:19:41,886 they can trace back to you. - All right. 565 00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:43,206 - Dig in, boys! First batch! 566 00:19:43,320 --> 00:19:44,606 - Woo-hoo! 567 00:19:44,720 --> 00:19:46,006 - Here we go. - Oh, you get the big dog. 568 00:19:46,160 --> 00:19:47,571 Here you go. 569 00:19:47,680 --> 00:19:48,841 - Guess there were supposed to be more strips, 570 00:19:49,000 --> 00:19:50,490 but chunks will do, I suppose. 571 00:19:50,600 --> 00:19:52,364 - Well, that's our thing. We have a chunkierjerk. 572 00:19:52,480 --> 00:19:53,641 - Yeah, cheers. - Cheers. 573 00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:55,489 - Meat Jerking Beef Boys. - Mmm 574 00:19:55,600 --> 00:19:57,921 - Mmm - [chuckles] 575 00:19:58,040 --> 00:20:00,247 - Mmm 576 00:20:00,360 --> 00:20:01,521 Yum. 577 00:20:01,640 --> 00:20:03,324 - I've never had wet jerky before. 578 00:20:03,440 --> 00:20:04,965 I will say that. - Different. 579 00:20:05,080 --> 00:20:06,206 - Some say wetter, the better. - Mm-hmm. 580 00:20:06,320 --> 00:20:07,560 - Most-Most don't. 581 00:20:07,680 --> 00:20:09,045 This tastes like bacon... 582 00:20:09,160 --> 00:20:11,288 like if bacon were marinated in rain 583 00:20:11,400 --> 00:20:13,243 for a few days in, like, a gutter. 584 00:20:13,360 --> 00:20:15,647 - What did you do to actually make this... 585 00:20:15,760 --> 00:20:17,125 actually jerky? 586 00:20:17,240 --> 00:20:18,765 - Well, we hung it and wiped it. 587 00:20:18,880 --> 00:20:20,370 That's what we did. - And I pissed on it. 588 00:20:20,480 --> 00:20:22,005 - Adam pissed on it. Now I'm remembering. 589 00:20:22,120 --> 00:20:23,281 Adam pissed on it. - Yeah. 590 00:20:23,400 --> 00:20:25,004 - Yeah. 591 00:20:25,160 --> 00:20:26,321 - Why don't we just, uh, go for a spin in my new V0 592 00:20:26,440 --> 00:20:27,805 before I return it, man? 593 00:20:27,920 --> 00:20:30,651 Thank God for that 24-hour buyers remorse. 594 00:20:30,760 --> 00:20:33,206 - Um...wait, what new car? 595 00:20:33,320 --> 00:20:35,448 - Dude, my dad made me go buy a drop-top black Volvo. 596 00:20:35,560 --> 00:20:36,891 It's parked outside the other house. 597 00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:38,764 It's...quite swift-looking. 598 00:20:38,920 --> 00:20:41,491 - That's not a stage car to go along with the staged house? 599 00:20:41,600 --> 00:20:44,046 - [scoffs] No, they don't make stage cars. 600 00:20:44,160 --> 00:20:45,889 Why? What'd you do? 601 00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:47,764 - Maybe we should go inside. - What? Why, what'd you do? 602 00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:52,124 - We keyed it... and destroyed it. 603 00:20:52,240 --> 00:20:53,730 Just kidding. 604 00:20:53,840 --> 00:20:55,683 - Oh, dude! [all laughing] 605 00:20:55,800 --> 00:20:58,246 - I wouldn't do that to you. We wouldn't do that to you. 606 00:20:58,400 --> 00:21:00,209 - Nice! 607 00:21:00,360 --> 00:21:02,362 [dog snorting] [party favor blowing] 608 00:21:05,400 --> 00:21:08,131 - Do you know if cow dick comes out of carpet? 609 00:21:08,240 --> 00:21:09,844 - It's a bad stain. 610 00:21:09,960 --> 00:21:11,928 It looks like alfredo sauce, but like a bloody alfredo sauce. 611 00:21:12,080 --> 00:21:13,241 - Bad. - It's like- 612 00:21:13,360 --> 00:21:14,805 It was filled with jizz. - Mm-hmm. 613 00:21:14,960 --> 00:21:16,564 - The pouch. - Unbelievable how much- 614 00:21:16,680 --> 00:21:20,241 - And it just creamed all over the whole...foyer.