1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:03,570 - I'm gonna clear it. 2 00:00:03,680 --> 00:00:05,011 - Get 'em. - Nope. 3 00:00:05,120 --> 00:00:06,451 That didn't- That didn't work at all. 4 00:00:06,560 --> 00:00:08,050 Ow. Ow. - A little bit. 5 00:00:08,160 --> 00:00:10,208 Hey, if you guys see anything ninja-related, tell me, 6 00:00:10,360 --> 00:00:11,805 'cause I am back on my ninja kick. 7 00:00:11,920 --> 00:00:13,809 - Okay. - I'm gonna get a shower radio, 8 00:00:13,920 --> 00:00:16,002 so I can literally rog out with my cog out. 9 00:00:16,160 --> 00:00:17,924 - Or we could just stick to the camping list, 10 00:00:18,080 --> 00:00:19,445 get the supplies we need, right? 11 00:00:19,560 --> 00:00:21,164 - Definitely, but first, I want to get 12 00:00:21,280 --> 00:00:22,520 the stuff that I want to get first. 13 00:00:22,640 --> 00:00:24,051 - Yeah. - Know what I'm saying? 14 00:00:24,160 --> 00:00:25,525 - I'm gonna do that too. - All right, just- 15 00:00:25,640 --> 00:00:28,291 you know, travel shampoos. Look for 'em. 16 00:00:28,400 --> 00:00:32,007 Come on, 35 bucks? For what? 17 00:00:32,120 --> 00:00:33,849 Oh, plugs into the car. That's cool. 18 00:00:33,960 --> 00:00:35,564 - Going camping there, Paul Bunyan? 19 00:00:35,720 --> 00:00:36,846 - Uh, no, me and my buddies are 20 00:00:36,960 --> 00:00:39,122 going to follow a concert tour, 21 00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:40,969 so we're just gonna, like, be camping out. 22 00:00:41,080 --> 00:00:42,605 - That sounds fun. - Yeah, it should be. 23 00:00:42,720 --> 00:00:44,165 I'm not really a great outdoors guy, though. 24 00:00:44,280 --> 00:00:45,566 You know, unless there's a bald-headed bear. 25 00:00:45,680 --> 00:00:46,727 - Yeah. - From the movie, um- 26 00:00:46,840 --> 00:00:48,569 - What movie's that? 27 00:00:48,680 --> 00:00:50,808 - It's The Great Outdoors. What are you doing? 28 00:00:50,920 --> 00:00:52,524 - Shh. - I don't think we should- 29 00:00:52,640 --> 00:00:53,766 Are you pregnant? - Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh. 30 00:00:53,880 --> 00:00:55,644 It's not for you to know 31 00:00:55,760 --> 00:00:56,886 what's inside this belly. - You're squeezing so hard. 32 00:00:57,000 --> 00:00:58,490 - You like that? - I like it. 33 00:00:58,600 --> 00:01:00,523 - Oh, look at that. Someone's up. 34 00:01:00,640 --> 00:01:01,766 - Oh, yeah. - Someone's up. 35 00:01:01,880 --> 00:01:03,211 - I'm UP- 36 00:01:03,320 --> 00:01:04,845 - Morning. - I'm up and at 'em. 37 00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:06,331 - Don't do that with your face. Don't do that. 38 00:01:06,440 --> 00:01:07,805 I don't like that. That's better. 39 00:01:07,960 --> 00:01:09,086 - Oh, God, all right, all right, all right. 40 00:01:09,200 --> 00:01:14,001 - [squeals] - [groaning] 41 00:01:14,120 --> 00:01:15,406 [camera shutter clicks] - Aha. 42 00:01:15,520 --> 00:01:16,965 - Wait, did you just take a picture of me? 43 00:01:17,080 --> 00:01:19,970 - [laughs] Thank you. - Who are you? 44 00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:21,320 Don't- - You need some help there, 45 00:01:21,440 --> 00:01:22,646 my friend? - What? 46 00:01:22,760 --> 00:01:25,286 Uh, um, no. No. 47 00:01:25,400 --> 00:01:27,641 I'm, uh-I'm all right. 48 00:01:27,760 --> 00:01:29,728 I'm just getting some pants. 49 00:01:29,840 --> 00:01:32,844 - How about a larger size? - No, I-I think they're good. 50 00:01:32,960 --> 00:01:34,769 [clears throat] So. .. 51 00:01:34,880 --> 00:01:36,006 Wear 'em out. 52 00:01:36,120 --> 00:01:37,281 [laughs quietly] 53 00:01:37,400 --> 00:01:40,324 Good day. 54 00:01:40,440 --> 00:01:43,250 [beatboxing] 55 00:01:43,360 --> 00:01:44,407 $5' 56 00:01:44,520 --> 00:01:47,046 - ♪ I'm fresh ♪ 57 00:01:47,160 --> 00:01:48,969 - ♪ You gotta, you gotta, you gotta ♪ 58 00:01:49,080 --> 00:01:52,402 - ♪ Gotta be fresh ♪ 59 00:01:55,440 --> 00:01:56,646 - Yo, Ders. 60 00:01:56,800 --> 00:01:58,040 Check it out. Look who we ran into. 61 00:01:58,160 --> 00:01:59,571 Tez has let us- 62 00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:01,245 He's gonna let us borrow his RV to go 63 00:02:01,360 --> 00:02:02,646 to the Xzibit concert this weekend. 64 00:02:02,760 --> 00:02:04,364 - Yes! - Cool. 65 00:02:04,520 --> 00:02:06,602 - I have to admit, I was, like, stressing really about it, guys, 66 00:02:06,720 --> 00:02:08,131 but I think now this- 67 00:02:08,240 --> 00:02:10,641 this trip's gonna be a little less in tents. 68 00:02:10,760 --> 00:02:13,411 "In tents"? Get it? - "In tents." That's good. 69 00:02:13,520 --> 00:02:16,171 [laughs] That's good. That's good. 70 00:02:16,320 --> 00:02:18,766 "In tents." That's good. 71 00:02:18,880 --> 00:02:20,609 Oh, yeah. - Thanks. 72 00:02:20,720 --> 00:02:21,881 - Yeah, but tents are for children. 73 00:02:22,000 --> 00:02:23,570 RVs are for cool-ass widow grandpas 74 00:02:23,680 --> 00:02:25,250 who are single and ready to tingle. 75 00:02:25,360 --> 00:02:26,930 - Yeah, we're gonna be 76 00:02:27,080 --> 00:02:29,526 some tangling-ass grandpas this weekend, man. 77 00:02:29,640 --> 00:02:31,961 What's up with the kids' ski pants, huh? 78 00:02:32,080 --> 00:02:33,241 Michael Jackson special? 79 00:02:33,360 --> 00:02:35,089 Everything half-off kids? 80 00:02:35,200 --> 00:02:36,565 [laughing] 81 00:02:36,680 --> 00:02:38,284 I was reading this joke calendar back there. 82 00:02:38,400 --> 00:02:40,528 June was funny, man. - You should get it. 83 00:02:40,680 --> 00:02:42,284 - I will, but it's, like, 12 bucks. 84 00:02:42,400 --> 00:02:45,324 - You are not gonna believe what just happened to me. 85 00:02:45,440 --> 00:02:48,410 - Uh-oh! Hottie coming through, y'all. 86 00:02:48,560 --> 00:02:51,769 I'd like you to meet my bangin'-ass wife, Colleen. 87 00:02:51,880 --> 00:02:53,723 - Hi. How you doing? - Hey. 88 00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:55,763 - Hi. - Hi. 89 00:02:55,880 --> 00:02:57,450 - Oh, Monty, I'll see you at the checkout, okay? 90 00:02:57,560 --> 00:02:58,686 - Hey, did you get those baby naming books? 91 00:02:58,800 --> 00:03:00,211 - I did. 92 00:03:00,320 --> 00:03:02,368 - Y'all, check this out. We having a little girl. 93 00:03:02,480 --> 00:03:03,925 And we gonna name her Montessa. 94 00:03:04,040 --> 00:03:05,405 - No, we're not. We talked about this. 95 00:03:05,520 --> 00:03:06,885 . Okay- 96 00:03:07,040 --> 00:03:09,407 - Okay, I'll see you there. - Mm-hmm. 97 00:03:09,520 --> 00:03:12,922 Ten years of marriage, and she still got a ass 98 00:03:13,040 --> 00:03:14,530 like a black tennis player. 99 00:03:14,640 --> 00:03:16,005 Ain't that right, guys? 100 00:03:16,120 --> 00:03:17,645 - What? I... 101 00:03:17,800 --> 00:03:19,848 [clears throat] Didn't see it. Wouldn't look. 102 00:03:19,960 --> 00:03:21,724 She's your wife. 103 00:03:21,840 --> 00:03:23,569 - Listen, y'all, I gotta go break me off 104 00:03:23,720 --> 00:03:25,688 a piece of this country white bread. 105 00:03:25,800 --> 00:03:27,848 You 'bout to get re-pregnatized, girl! 106 00:03:27,960 --> 00:03:31,169 - So, uh, you said something crazy happened? 107 00:03:31,280 --> 00:03:33,009 - Yeah. I, um- 108 00:03:33,120 --> 00:03:36,806 I just saw O.J. Simpson trying on lsotoners that way. 109 00:03:36,920 --> 00:03:38,604 - O.J. Simpson is here? - Yeah, just over there. 110 00:03:38,720 --> 00:03:40,404 - He's my favorite killer. O.J.! 111 00:03:40,520 --> 00:03:41,760 - He's trying gloves on? - Yeah. 112 00:03:41,880 --> 00:03:43,006 - O.J.! 113 00:03:43,160 --> 00:03:45,003 - This is bad. - O.J.? 114 00:03:45,160 --> 00:03:47,242 [car engine starts] - Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho. 115 00:03:47,360 --> 00:03:49,124 Buddy, hey, ho. Hold up, hold up. 116 00:03:49,240 --> 00:03:52,050 What are you trying to do? You trying to kill me? 117 00:03:52,160 --> 00:03:53,207 - I didn't know you were there, 118 00:03:53,320 --> 00:03:54,367 but sounds like a good idea now. 119 00:03:54,480 --> 00:03:55,766 - What are you doing, dude? 120 00:03:55,920 --> 00:03:57,206 - What's it look like I'm doing? 121 00:03:57,320 --> 00:03:58,560 Okay, I want to talk to you bros just before 122 00:03:58,680 --> 00:04:00,170 y'all bros just went to the concert, 123 00:04:00,280 --> 00:04:02,248 so I slept behind your bros' car, dudes. 124 00:04:02,360 --> 00:04:05,011 - That makes sense. - Karl, I already told you, man. 125 00:04:05,120 --> 00:04:06,246 You can't come to the concert. 126 00:04:06,360 --> 00:04:08,203 I'm sorry. - Why not? 127 00:04:08,320 --> 00:04:10,322 - 'Cause you always get crazy and start fights at concerts. 128 00:04:10,440 --> 00:04:11,965 - Always. - No, I don't. 129 00:04:12,080 --> 00:04:13,764 - You do. - No, I don't. 130 00:04:13,880 --> 00:04:16,087 - Dude, do you not remember the 311 mosh pit? 131 00:04:16,200 --> 00:04:17,440 - Yeah, that was a great pit, man. 132 00:04:17,560 --> 00:04:19,324 Very chill mosh. Great people in there. 133 00:04:19,440 --> 00:04:22,922 - Yeah, really chill until you bit through a little girl's ear. 134 00:04:23,040 --> 00:04:25,884 - I'm sorry, Blake, but I was just trying to come original. 135 00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:27,889 - You hit Reba McEntire in the tit with a rock. 136 00:04:28,000 --> 00:04:29,161 - Yeah, that's what you said. 137 00:04:29,280 --> 00:04:30,930 - You said, 'Take this, Reba tits," 138 00:04:31,080 --> 00:04:32,889 and you threw a rock. You-you did that. 139 00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:35,611 - It's the live music, okay? It's the energy of it all. 140 00:04:35,720 --> 00:04:37,324 You know, it just, like, goes in, 141 00:04:37,440 --> 00:04:40,523 and it takes over my soul, and then it 9/11s my whole body, 142 00:04:40,640 --> 00:04:42,290 sending it in to "cha-os," and I'm just, like- 143 00:04:42,400 --> 00:04:44,767 - But really concerts are just a place 144 00:04:44,880 --> 00:04:46,120 for you to find people to fight, right? 145 00:04:46,240 --> 00:04:47,890 - Yeah. - Right, that's what I thought. 146 00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:49,445 - Sorry, Karl. - Hey, horrible seeing you. 147 00:04:49,600 --> 00:04:52,331 Stay stupid, human penis. - Later, duder. 148 00:04:52,440 --> 00:04:54,681 - Wait, guys. What about the rap music van? 149 00:04:54,800 --> 00:04:56,609 What am I gonna do with that? 150 00:04:56,720 --> 00:04:59,007 - I don't know. You could wash it. 151 00:04:59,120 --> 00:05:03,250 - Oh, wash it? Yeah, that's gonna do- 152 00:05:03,360 --> 00:05:05,442 [doors close] 153 00:05:05,560 --> 00:05:08,211 [engine starts] 154 00:05:08,320 --> 00:05:10,402 Go ahead. Go to work, man. 155 00:05:10,520 --> 00:05:12,090 - [laughs] - Whoo! 156 00:05:12,200 --> 00:05:13,440 - Oh, my gosh. - Ho. 157 00:05:13,560 --> 00:05:15,050 - We're doing it, guys. 158 00:05:15,160 --> 00:05:17,640 We're officially doing Road Rules, man. 159 00:05:17,760 --> 00:05:20,047 [laughs] This is great. - Yeah. 160 00:05:20,160 --> 00:05:21,525 - You guys know what this thing does to panties? 161 00:05:21,640 --> 00:05:25,167 Sops them, then drops them. - Yeah, it does. 162 00:05:25,280 --> 00:05:26,691 - Yeah, chicks love dudes with RVs. 163 00:05:26,800 --> 00:05:27,926 My uncle drives one. 164 00:05:28,040 --> 00:05:29,451 Gets laid all the time. - Yeah? 165 00:05:29,560 --> 00:05:31,289 - He's a coke dealer also, so that might 166 00:05:31,400 --> 00:05:33,004 have something to do with it. 167 00:05:33,120 --> 00:05:35,043 - It's probably what he did to buy the RV, you know? 168 00:05:35,160 --> 00:05:36,685 - And I want the best bed 'cause I'm probably 169 00:05:36,800 --> 00:05:38,040 gonna be doing some "fugzin'." 170 00:05:38,160 --> 00:05:40,447 - Well, we all want that. - You better be. 171 00:05:40,560 --> 00:05:43,086 - Yeah. But whoever touches the RV first gets it. 172 00:05:43,200 --> 00:05:44,565 - Wait-no. What? No. 173 00:05:44,680 --> 00:05:47,081 - [laughs] Oh! You suckers. - Damn it, Adam. 174 00:05:47,240 --> 00:05:49,891 You have to give us a little bit of advance notice. 175 00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:52,731 Whoever touches the other side gets to control the radio. 176 00:05:52,840 --> 00:05:54,080 Ready, set, go. - Wait, no- 177 00:05:54,200 --> 00:05:55,247 - I said ready, set, go, so... [laughing] 178 00:05:55,360 --> 00:05:57,089 Yeah. 179 00:05:57,200 --> 00:05:59,202 [water running] Uh, hey, Montez. 180 00:05:59,320 --> 00:06:02,210 We're just gonna take a tour of the RV if that's cool. 181 00:06:02,320 --> 00:06:04,926 - You want me to take your garba-okay. 182 00:06:05,040 --> 00:06:07,088 You have a bag full of double-ended dildos? 183 00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:08,486 - That's used. That's was used, probably. 184 00:06:08,600 --> 00:06:09,726 - Strap-ons- Is this Evan Stone? 185 00:06:09,840 --> 00:06:11,205 - What's he's doing back there? 186 00:06:11,320 --> 00:06:12,890 - Is that Evan Stone? He's my favorite. 187 00:06:13,000 --> 00:06:15,685 - Man, that's $1,200 worth of premium sex toys. 188 00:06:15,800 --> 00:06:18,280 Got them for Colleen for our ten-year anniversary. 189 00:06:18,440 --> 00:06:20,522 Made her a music video, but it's all over, man! 190 00:06:20,640 --> 00:06:22,404 It's over! - Why is that? 191 00:06:22,520 --> 00:06:23,646 - 'Cause she cheating on me, man! 192 00:06:23,760 --> 00:06:24,966 - Whoa. - Wait. 193 00:06:25,080 --> 00:06:26,809 - Did she-she- Did she tell you that? 194 00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:29,321 Um, but she didn't say anything about, like, who it might be 195 00:06:29,440 --> 00:06:30,851 or, like, what the person looks like, right? 196 00:06:30,960 --> 00:06:32,644 - Man, I heard her on the phone talking 197 00:06:32,760 --> 00:06:34,524 about she worried about gettin' a STD, 198 00:06:34,640 --> 00:06:36,563 like she got some kind of thing called coochie mold. 199 00:06:36,680 --> 00:06:38,523 - What? - Awesome, dude. 200 00:06:38,640 --> 00:06:41,405 I actually just won a foot race, so I'm entitled to the best bed. 201 00:06:41,520 --> 00:06:42,931 So is that in the front? 202 00:06:43,040 --> 00:06:45,327 - Hey, you can't use this anymore, dummy. 203 00:06:45,440 --> 00:06:47,408 I'm living in there. - Okay, for sure. 204 00:06:47,520 --> 00:06:50,091 - Like, what the fuck happened to my life? 205 00:06:50,200 --> 00:06:51,770 I had it all. 206 00:06:51,880 --> 00:06:54,008 Tell you what, man, if I catch this dude, 207 00:06:54,120 --> 00:06:56,441 I'm gonna cut his dick off. 208 00:06:56,600 --> 00:06:58,648 I'm just gonna take it and just rip it. 209 00:06:58,760 --> 00:07:00,125 I'll put it in a microwave 210 00:07:00,240 --> 00:07:01,571 and cook it. - Oh, right. 211 00:07:01,680 --> 00:07:02,886 Yeah, 'cause, like, cheaters. 212 00:07:03,000 --> 00:07:04,445 We hate 'em. They make me sick. 213 00:07:04,560 --> 00:07:06,210 But you know, maybe you should treat 'em nice. 214 00:07:06,360 --> 00:07:08,966 I'm gonna go, uh, throw up 'cause I'm so sick 215 00:07:09,080 --> 00:07:10,969 of hearing about your horrible situation, man. 216 00:07:11,080 --> 00:07:14,243 - You okay, Tez? You seemed bummed, dude. 217 00:07:18,320 --> 00:07:19,367 - Oh, Jesus. 218 00:07:19,480 --> 00:07:20,527 Hey, Jillian. - Hmm? 219 00:07:20,640 --> 00:07:21,971 - I got to see Montez's 220 00:07:22,080 --> 00:07:23,411 emergency contact information right now. 221 00:07:23,520 --> 00:07:25,010 - Oh, is there an emergency? 222 00:07:25,120 --> 00:07:28,169 - Uh, kind-he's okay. 223 00:07:28,280 --> 00:07:30,965 But kind-yes, kind of. A little bit. 224 00:07:31,080 --> 00:07:32,605 - Well, there needs to be an emergency, Anders. 225 00:07:32,760 --> 00:07:34,728 Unless... 226 00:07:34,840 --> 00:07:38,526 you let me paint your nails. 227 00:07:38,640 --> 00:07:39,926 - [sighs] Damn it. 228 00:07:40,040 --> 00:07:43,806 Hey, um, Colleen, this is Anders Holmvik. 229 00:07:43,920 --> 00:07:45,285 We met the other day in the camping section. 230 00:07:45,440 --> 00:07:47,488 You might remember. I hope you do. 231 00:07:47,600 --> 00:07:50,490 Anyway, um, you took a picture of me, which was not cool, 232 00:07:50,600 --> 00:07:51,681 and we need to talk about that. 233 00:07:51,800 --> 00:07:54,644 By the way, amazing hand job. 234 00:07:54,760 --> 00:07:56,683 Um, anyway, you know what? I'll come to you. 235 00:07:56,800 --> 00:07:57,847 Don't-don't even call me back, okay? 236 00:07:57,960 --> 00:08:00,167 Uh, take care. [clears throat] 237 00:08:00,280 --> 00:08:02,681 - I can't have my chick cuckolding me like this. 238 00:08:02,800 --> 00:08:05,883 Just thinking about this dude drive me bananas! 239 00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:07,240 - Whoo! B-A-N-A-N-A-N-A. 240 00:08:07,360 --> 00:08:09,249 - I need-l need to know who is it, man. 241 00:08:09,360 --> 00:08:11,488 Who is it? - Okay. Fine. 242 00:08:11,600 --> 00:08:13,682 Well, what if we could find out who it was? 243 00:08:13,800 --> 00:08:15,211 Would you let us have the RV then? 244 00:08:15,320 --> 00:08:17,163 - Yeah, sleuth. We'll sleuth. - Sleuth it out. 245 00:08:17,280 --> 00:08:18,566 - How y'all gonna do that? 246 00:08:18,680 --> 00:08:21,047 - Does she suspect that you know anything? 247 00:08:21,160 --> 00:08:23,640 Have you been weird to her a little bit? 248 00:08:23,760 --> 00:08:25,285 Are you a little weird? - No. 249 00:08:25,440 --> 00:08:27,204 I took off in the RV this morning. 250 00:08:27,360 --> 00:08:28,646 - Okay, all right. - Okay, there you go. 251 00:08:28,760 --> 00:08:30,524 Right, so, uh, why don't you tell her 252 00:08:30,640 --> 00:08:32,165 that you went on a hunting trip, right? 253 00:08:32,320 --> 00:08:35,688 And then-and then when she gets all, like, horny... 254 00:08:35,800 --> 00:08:38,371 - Yeah, like they always are. - Like chicks constantly do. 255 00:08:38,480 --> 00:08:40,528 - Yes, constantly juicing. - Yeah. 256 00:08:40,640 --> 00:08:42,483 And then she invites her new stud over... 257 00:08:42,600 --> 00:08:44,364 - And when he's about to pound her, 258 00:08:44,480 --> 00:08:47,165 we pound him. 259 00:08:47,280 --> 00:08:49,248 Are you- Okay, good. 260 00:08:49,360 --> 00:08:52,364 - Adam, great call with the safety harnesses, bud. 261 00:08:52,480 --> 00:08:54,881 - Yeah, right? - I feel so secure up here. 262 00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:57,526 - No, I've actually fallen out of a lot of trees as a kid, 263 00:08:57,680 --> 00:08:59,523 so I was like, 'We need a safety harness." 264 00:08:59,680 --> 00:09:01,603 You know, a bunch of rope tied around our waists. That's safe. 265 00:09:01,720 --> 00:09:03,529 - Good call. - How you doing on that steak? 266 00:09:03,640 --> 00:09:05,608 - I'm good for now. I'm probably gonna want more though. 267 00:09:05,720 --> 00:09:07,210 - Yeah. - I love steak. 268 00:09:07,320 --> 00:09:09,004 I absolutely love it. We should go on more stakeouts. 269 00:09:09,120 --> 00:09:12,203 - Yeah. - What-what are you doing? 270 00:09:12,360 --> 00:09:15,091 - Well, Blake, when you have a fine steak, 271 00:09:15,240 --> 00:09:18,847 you got to complement it with a fine wine, my baby. 272 00:09:18,960 --> 00:09:21,725 - Okay, now I have heard that, but you are eating berries. 273 00:09:21,840 --> 00:09:23,888 - Don't be thick, man. Not with me. 274 00:09:24,040 --> 00:09:26,088 Where do you think wine comes from? 275 00:09:26,200 --> 00:09:28,362 Berries. They're little wine balls. 276 00:09:28,480 --> 00:09:32,371 Like a fine "peanut garagio." 277 00:09:32,480 --> 00:09:33,606 Right? I'm a chef. I'm a steak chef. 278 00:09:33,760 --> 00:09:35,364 - Oh, my gosh, dude. Dude, look. 279 00:09:35,480 --> 00:09:37,767 Look, here he comes. I'm gonna call Montez. 280 00:09:37,880 --> 00:09:40,042 - Yeah. - [whispers] Montez? 281 00:09:40,160 --> 00:09:42,686 We have our perpetrator. He is here. 282 00:09:42,800 --> 00:09:44,325 We're-we're looking at him now. 283 00:09:44,440 --> 00:09:45,726 - Yeah, don't worry, Tez. He looks like a bitch. 284 00:09:45,840 --> 00:09:46,921 We're gonna get him, dude. 285 00:09:47,040 --> 00:09:48,280 - Yup, yes. He's on his way. 286 00:09:48,440 --> 00:09:50,681 - All right, kick ass. All right. 287 00:09:50,800 --> 00:09:53,804 [beatboxing] 288 00:09:56,840 --> 00:09:59,286 [beatboxing] 289 00:10:00,760 --> 00:10:02,444 - Look, babe, the party's over. 290 00:10:02,560 --> 00:10:06,007 - I'm sorry. Party? - Yeah. Wait, oh. 291 00:10:06,120 --> 00:10:08,327 You're gonna act like we didn't have the best time of our lives? 292 00:10:08,440 --> 00:10:10,329 I'll never forget how much I ejac'd, 293 00:10:10,440 --> 00:10:12,204 and I'm sure you had a climax that was unbearable, 294 00:10:12,320 --> 00:10:15,210 even though I didn't even touch you, but it's gotta stop. 295 00:10:15,320 --> 00:10:16,810 - I'm sorry, what do you- What do you want? 296 00:10:16,920 --> 00:10:18,410 - Oh, God, you don't get it. 297 00:10:18,520 --> 00:10:21,763 Look, you gotta delete the photo from your phone, now. 298 00:10:21,880 --> 00:10:24,326 - Right, okay. Let me get my phone. 299 00:10:24,440 --> 00:10:28,445 - Oh, thank you. I'm just gonna- 300 00:10:28,560 --> 00:10:29,800 - All right, so we're gonna 301 00:10:29,920 --> 00:10:31,604 have to get pretty physical right now. 302 00:10:31,720 --> 00:10:33,245 It's been a long time since I've gotten physical. 303 00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:35,129 - Dude, don't even worry about it, I brought weapons. 304 00:10:35,280 --> 00:10:37,089 I brought weapons. - Really? Okay. 305 00:10:37,240 --> 00:10:38,890 - Look, check it out. I got a slingshot. 306 00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:40,206 - Cool, I'll take that. I'll take that, 307 00:10:40,320 --> 00:10:41,560 unless you have a grenade launcher. 308 00:10:41,680 --> 00:10:42,806 - Well-well, I have something better. 309 00:10:42,920 --> 00:10:44,331 I have the tetanus ball. 310 00:10:44,440 --> 00:10:46,090 It's a tennis ball with rusty nails in it. 311 00:10:46,200 --> 00:10:47,565 - Okay, I'm gonna want the slingshot 312 00:10:47,680 --> 00:10:49,728 'cause this looks pretty fucking stupid. 313 00:10:49,840 --> 00:10:51,171 Because what are you- You're supposed to throw- 314 00:10:51,280 --> 00:10:52,930 How are you gonna pick that back up, man? 315 00:10:53,040 --> 00:10:54,849 You're gonna-you're gonna tetanus-ize yourself. 316 00:10:54,960 --> 00:10:56,610 - No, no, see, that's what you're not taking into account. 317 00:10:56,760 --> 00:10:59,331 I have a protector glove that you wear, so maybe- 318 00:10:59,440 --> 00:11:00,851 maybe you should think that over before you call it stupid. 319 00:11:00,960 --> 00:11:02,485 - Very, very smart move. - Thank you. 320 00:11:02,640 --> 00:11:03,971 - But also, I will take the slingshoot. 321 00:11:04,080 --> 00:11:05,650 - Well, no, I don't think you should 322 00:11:05,760 --> 00:11:07,330 because you don't even know how to sling-shoot. 323 00:11:07,440 --> 00:11:08,930 - Well, did you see my practice runs? 324 00:11:09,040 --> 00:11:10,326 - Well, I did, and it didn't look right. 325 00:11:10,480 --> 00:11:11,891 - No, it looked pretty good. 326 00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:13,206 - Okay. You have no ammo, so you can't- 327 00:11:13,360 --> 00:11:14,566 - Give me! Give me! - No, fine. 328 00:11:14,680 --> 00:11:16,011 - Aah! - Adam? 329 00:11:16,120 --> 00:11:18,441 Adam? Oh, oh, my, oh, my- 330 00:11:18,560 --> 00:11:19,607 - Help me! - Adam! 331 00:11:19,720 --> 00:11:22,530 Oh. my God! - Help! Help me! 332 00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:24,130 - Uh, yeah, just give me the slingshot. 333 00:11:24,240 --> 00:11:27,130 And hold the back. - Nice try! Just cut me down! 334 00:11:27,240 --> 00:11:29,163 [screaming] 335 00:11:29,280 --> 00:11:32,762 - All right, just- Well, don't break your necld 336 00:11:32,920 --> 00:11:34,968 Help! My friend is choking! 337 00:11:35,080 --> 00:11:36,241 Ders? 338 00:11:36,360 --> 00:11:38,249 - Blake? What are you doing here? 339 00:11:38,360 --> 00:11:39,930 - What? You're the cheater? - Yeah, I'm the cheater, okay? 340 00:11:40,040 --> 00:11:41,246 At the store the other day, 341 00:11:41,360 --> 00:11:43,124 she gave me a over-the-pants H.J. 342 00:11:43,240 --> 00:11:46,130 And, dude, you should have seen what I did in my pants. 343 00:11:46,240 --> 00:11:47,651 - Really? - Unreal. 344 00:11:47,760 --> 00:11:49,808 I just, like, barfed out of my thing. 345 00:11:49,920 --> 00:11:51,570 - No way. How many ounces are we talking? 346 00:11:51,680 --> 00:11:54,445 Like a, like a Gusher's worth? Or like a Capri Sun? 347 00:11:54,560 --> 00:11:56,050 - Like five busts of- I don't know how much. 348 00:11:56,160 --> 00:11:57,571 - Oh, that's why you were wearing ski pants. 349 00:11:57,680 --> 00:11:59,170 - Yes. - The stain probably. 350 00:11:59,320 --> 00:12:00,810 Dude, now I get it. 351 00:12:00,920 --> 00:12:02,604 Oh! Adam, Adam! 352 00:12:02,720 --> 00:12:04,688 Adam's choking, he's dying, man. We got to cut him down. 353 00:12:04,800 --> 00:12:05,847 - What are you talking- - Come on, come on! 354 00:12:05,960 --> 00:12:07,121 - What? - Go, go, go! 355 00:12:07,240 --> 00:12:08,480 Get something sharp, something sharp. 356 00:12:08,600 --> 00:12:09,761 - Here, here, here, here, here, here. 357 00:12:09,880 --> 00:12:11,291 - Oh, come on. Hurry, hurry, hurry. 358 00:12:11,400 --> 00:12:13,004 Come on, come on! He's right through here! 359 00:12:13,120 --> 00:12:14,565 - Wait, man, you're not supposed to run with these. 360 00:12:14,680 --> 00:12:16,648 - No! No! Oh! - What are you guys doing? 361 00:12:16,760 --> 00:12:18,000 - Just drop the stupid thing! - Oh, my God. 362 00:12:18,120 --> 00:12:19,406 - Oh, cut him down! - I got him. 363 00:12:19,520 --> 00:12:20,806 - Cut him down! Come on! - Adam! 364 00:12:20,920 --> 00:12:22,570 - Use some strength, you pussy! 365 00:12:22,720 --> 00:12:24,404 - They're not cutting! I'll be back. 366 00:12:24,520 --> 00:12:27,922 - No, no, no! My little baby! 367 00:12:28,040 --> 00:12:31,647 My little baby! My little angel! [crying] 368 00:12:31,760 --> 00:12:32,807 - Oh, I got it. I got a big knife! 369 00:12:32,920 --> 00:12:34,251 - Ders, what took you so long? 370 00:12:34,360 --> 00:12:35,805 - I got a big knife! Back up! - Cut him down! 371 00:12:35,920 --> 00:12:37,684 ' [Scream- - on: mg] 372 00:12:37,800 --> 00:12:40,963 [Blake and Adam wailing] 373 00:12:41,080 --> 00:12:43,651 - Oh, Daddy thought he lost ya. - [crying] Oh, God! 374 00:12:43,760 --> 00:12:45,444 - It's all right. - Oh, my God! I almost died! 375 00:12:45,560 --> 00:12:46,800 - I know. - I almost died! 376 00:12:46,920 --> 00:12:48,843 That was so scary! 377 00:12:48,960 --> 00:12:50,849 Thank you for saving me! - It's okay, it's all right. 378 00:12:50,960 --> 00:12:53,088 It's all right. - I had a realization. 379 00:12:53,200 --> 00:12:55,282 I've been alive for 24 years, 380 00:12:55,400 --> 00:12:58,051 and I haven't even done anything with my life. 381 00:12:58,160 --> 00:12:59,525 - Don't say that. Come on. - You have too. 382 00:12:59,640 --> 00:13:01,449 - I haven't done anything! - Come on. 383 00:13:01,560 --> 00:13:04,245 - I've never even jet skied off a waterfall. 384 00:13:04,360 --> 00:13:06,089 - Hey, no one's done that. - Yeah, not many do. 385 00:13:06,200 --> 00:13:08,806 - I've never even hot-air ballooned around the world. 386 00:13:08,920 --> 00:13:10,649 - It's very expensive. - Yes. 387 00:13:10,760 --> 00:13:13,240 - [crying] I've never... 388 00:13:13,360 --> 00:13:17,081 even seen The Expendables. 389 00:13:17,200 --> 00:13:18,440 - We did, though. 390 00:13:18,560 --> 00:13:20,130 On Valentine's Day. - Yeah, we did. 391 00:13:20,240 --> 00:13:22,368 - Whatever! The point is, I need to do more badass stuff! 392 00:13:22,480 --> 00:13:24,767 And watch more classic movies. 393 00:13:24,880 --> 00:13:26,689 I haven't even seen Beauty and the Beast 394 00:13:26,800 --> 00:13:29,041 in, like, seven years, and that was my favorite movie. 395 00:13:29,200 --> 00:13:30,690 - Okay. - And I'm blowing it! 396 00:13:30,800 --> 00:13:33,451 - All right, so what the hell are you guys doing? 397 00:13:33,560 --> 00:13:35,244 - Ders, what are you doing here? 398 00:13:35,360 --> 00:13:36,725 Let's go get this cheater. 399 00:13:36,840 --> 00:13:38,171 Let's go get the cheater as a team. 400 00:13:38,280 --> 00:13:39,770 - No, Adam, Adam, Adam. - Team Best Friends. 401 00:13:39,920 --> 00:13:42,048 - Adam, Ders-Ders is actually the cheater. 402 00:13:42,160 --> 00:13:43,844 He got a hand job from Montez's pregnant wife. 403 00:13:43,960 --> 00:13:45,644 - Yeah. - [laughs] What? 404 00:13:45,800 --> 00:13:47,131 - It was this out-of-control, over-the-pants hand job that- 405 00:13:47,240 --> 00:13:49,971 It was like a tantric explosion of everything. 406 00:13:50,080 --> 00:13:51,525 - Over the pants, though? - Yeah. 407 00:13:51,680 --> 00:13:53,648 - No, man, that's not how you want to do it. 408 00:13:53,760 --> 00:13:56,081 - What? Wow, dude, has the Internet melted your brain? 409 00:13:56,200 --> 00:13:58,123 Come on. Over the pants is fine. 410 00:13:58,240 --> 00:13:59,765 - No way, man. - Hey! 411 00:13:59,880 --> 00:14:01,609 - You got to go under the pants. - Y'all find him? 412 00:14:01,720 --> 00:14:03,484 - Uh. - Um, here. 413 00:14:03,600 --> 00:14:05,921 - No, we didn't. He escaped. He ran away. He was very fast. 414 00:14:06,040 --> 00:14:08,202 - Well, what did he look like? Did you see him? 415 00:14:08,320 --> 00:14:09,890 - Actually, no. We don't know if it's a he, 416 00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:13,163 a she, a-an it. We're not sure. 417 00:14:13,280 --> 00:14:15,487 - No, look, I could tell you exactly what he looks like. 418 00:14:15,600 --> 00:14:17,841 And it's about time you knew too. 419 00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:19,206 - Yes. - What are you doing, Ders? 420 00:14:19,320 --> 00:14:21,084 - I'm doing what's right, okay? 421 00:14:21,200 --> 00:14:22,850 Tez, you're my work friend, and you deserve to know that- 422 00:14:22,960 --> 00:14:25,406 - After the Xzibit concert, he deserves to know. 423 00:14:25,520 --> 00:14:26,965 - Who is it? 424 00:14:27,080 --> 00:14:28,684 - Montez, the guy that's fucking your wife 425 00:14:28,800 --> 00:14:30,848 is named Karl Hevacheck. 426 00:14:30,960 --> 00:14:32,962 - Karl Hevacheck. 427 00:14:33,080 --> 00:14:34,844 - Hevacheck. - Yeah. 428 00:14:34,960 --> 00:14:38,646 - Who gives a fuck? Bring his ass to me right now. 429 00:14:38,760 --> 00:14:40,762 [beatboxing] 430 00:14:42,800 --> 00:14:43,881 [beatboxing] 431 00:14:44,000 --> 00:14:46,002 - ♪ He's insane, ah ♪ 432 00:14:46,120 --> 00:14:48,885 - Hmm, now, I wonder what a rap mu- 433 00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:52,641 "musage" van is. 434 00:14:52,760 --> 00:14:53,807 - Intense. 435 00:14:53,920 --> 00:14:55,524 - Karl. - Ooh. 436 00:14:55,640 --> 00:14:57,688 - Hey, so what's new, guys? 437 00:14:57,800 --> 00:15:01,964 Welcome to my new life here in the rap massage van, 438 00:15:02,080 --> 00:15:03,969 where I give homeless people free bum rubs. 439 00:15:04,080 --> 00:15:06,447 - God, it smells like, uh- - It's like- 440 00:15:06,560 --> 00:15:08,289 - Like a, uh... - Um... 441 00:15:08,400 --> 00:15:11,244 - Well, it smells like you're massaging homeless people. 442 00:15:11,360 --> 00:15:13,044 - Yeah, that's- - That's exactly what it smell- 443 00:15:13,160 --> 00:15:14,730 That's a good way to describe it. 444 00:15:14,840 --> 00:15:16,365 - All right, now lookit, man, we got soup kitchens, 445 00:15:16,480 --> 00:15:17,970 places for homeless people to eat. 446 00:15:18,080 --> 00:15:20,128 But we don't have massage kitchens, 447 00:15:20,240 --> 00:15:22,720 places for massages to go down on homeless people. 448 00:15:22,840 --> 00:15:24,524 - Karl, I'm sorry to interrupt, 449 00:15:24,640 --> 00:15:26,881 but we have an opportunity for you, and it's pressing. 450 00:15:27,000 --> 00:15:28,968 - Shh! - I'm sorry. 451 00:15:29,080 --> 00:15:31,401 Karl, we'd like to you join us at the Xzibit concert. 452 00:15:31,520 --> 00:15:33,602 Interested? 453 00:15:33,720 --> 00:15:35,484 - I've been thinking a lot about what you guys said, 454 00:15:35,600 --> 00:15:36,931 and you're absolutely right, you know. 455 00:15:37,080 --> 00:15:38,730 Trying to find my inner peace. 456 00:15:38,840 --> 00:15:40,080 And right now, I've kind of found it 457 00:15:40,200 --> 00:15:41,804 in this dude's giant back. 458 00:15:41,960 --> 00:15:44,566 I'm lovin' it, I'm lovin' it. 459 00:15:44,680 --> 00:15:47,411 So, uh, I'm gonna have to say the nay-no, my brothers. 460 00:15:47,520 --> 00:15:49,010 - No, Karl. Come on, dude. 461 00:15:49,120 --> 00:15:50,485 All you got to do is pretend like you were having sex 462 00:15:50,600 --> 00:15:52,045 with our co-workers wife, 463 00:15:52,160 --> 00:15:53,764 and then he's probably gonna beat you up, 464 00:15:53,880 --> 00:15:55,006 just like you wanted. 465 00:15:55,120 --> 00:15:57,566 - Can Mike come? 466 00:15:57,680 --> 00:15:59,330 - ♪ Get down, turn around show me what you got ♪ 467 00:15:59,440 --> 00:16:02,091 ♪ You a pow powjuggernaut take it up a notch ♪ 468 00:16:02,200 --> 00:16:03,486 ♪ All my guys, wow, take him out ♪ 469 00:16:03,600 --> 00:16:04,806 ♪ Let me take a shot ♪ 470 00:16:04,920 --> 00:16:06,763 - There's your boy. 471 00:16:06,880 --> 00:16:09,008 [rap music blaring from headphones] 472 00:16:09,120 --> 00:16:11,691 - I want you to come here and see this. 473 00:16:11,800 --> 00:16:14,963 - Who are you calling? - Is this the dude? 474 00:16:15,080 --> 00:16:17,287 - Am I the dude? Yeah, I'm the dude, man. 475 00:16:17,400 --> 00:16:18,845 I'm the dude, homey. 476 00:16:18,960 --> 00:16:20,121 I'm the one who's been giving your wife 477 00:16:20,240 --> 00:16:21,844 the stinky dick, man. 478 00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:23,843 So what are you gonna do? Just punch me right here, man. 479 00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:25,684 I wanna be your bitch. - Hit him. 480 00:16:25,800 --> 00:16:27,325 - Yup, make him bleed. - Whoo! 481 00:16:27,440 --> 00:16:29,966 - I would like to know, what was she saying about me? 482 00:16:30,080 --> 00:16:31,366 - Hold on, what'd you- What'd you say? 483 00:16:31,480 --> 00:16:32,641 - I said, what was she saying about me? 484 00:16:32,800 --> 00:16:34,450 - What was she saying about you? Uh... 485 00:16:34,560 --> 00:16:36,722 Oh, dude, she was saying that you have a tiny little dick. 486 00:16:36,840 --> 00:16:38,365 All right, like a Tootsie Roll, man. 487 00:16:38,480 --> 00:16:39,891 While I have the Charleston Chew, 488 00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:41,240 the king-sized version, 489 00:16:41,360 --> 00:16:42,566 and you know your bitch has a sweet tooth. 490 00:16:42,680 --> 00:16:44,091 All: Oh! - He's got him! 491 00:16:44,200 --> 00:16:47,124 - Yeah! What's up, now? Hit me. Hit me, man. 492 00:16:47,240 --> 00:16:51,564 - I'm more referring to her emotional needs. 493 00:16:51,680 --> 00:16:53,409 - Emo-no, there's nothing emotional about it, man. 494 00:16:53,520 --> 00:16:55,363 You don't get it. You can't "F" right, 495 00:16:55,480 --> 00:16:57,005 and I gave her the Dunkin' Donut, 496 00:16:57,160 --> 00:16:58,571 and then I had that bitch doing 497 00:16:58,680 --> 00:17:00,489 Cirque du Soleil shit all over the room. 498 00:17:00,600 --> 00:17:01,931 Man, she creamed her panties for me. 499 00:17:02,080 --> 00:17:03,764 - Oh! - God damn it! 500 00:17:03,880 --> 00:17:04,961 - And guess what she called me, man. 501 00:17:05,080 --> 00:17:06,241 She called me the king. 502 00:17:06,360 --> 00:17:07,964 I'm King Karl. Say it, Mike. 503 00:17:08,080 --> 00:17:09,161 - He the king. - I'm-say it, Mike. 504 00:17:09,280 --> 00:17:10,486 - He's the king! 505 00:17:10,600 --> 00:17:11,965 - One more time, Mike. - He the king! 506 00:17:12,080 --> 00:17:13,286 - I'm the king, man. And guess what. 507 00:17:13,400 --> 00:17:15,164 You just the prince, man. 508 00:17:15,280 --> 00:17:18,170 You prince "Mooted." "Mooted," you a bitch. 509 00:17:18,280 --> 00:17:20,248 Okay? And that baby in your wife's stomach? 510 00:17:20,360 --> 00:17:22,124 Guess what, man. - Too far. 511 00:17:22,240 --> 00:17:25,608 - That's mine, dude. Sorry, but you're not a daddy. 512 00:17:25,720 --> 00:17:27,165 You're not a daddy. Now hit me, man. 513 00:17:27,280 --> 00:17:28,645 - You know what? I'm glad you here 514 00:17:28,760 --> 00:17:30,489 'cause I want you to see this. 515 00:17:30,600 --> 00:17:32,602 - Come on, man. You get first. You get number one. 516 00:17:32,720 --> 00:17:33,926 Come on, Ted. 517 00:17:34,040 --> 00:17:35,121 ' Ugh! ~ Oh! 518 00:17:35,280 --> 00:17:36,645 - Hell, yeah, bitch. 519 00:17:36,760 --> 00:17:39,286 - Okay. - Yup, we got him. That's it. 520 00:17:39,400 --> 00:17:40,970 - Good to go. - Oh! Yeah. 521 00:17:41,120 --> 00:17:42,485 - Look what you got me doing, woman! 522 00:17:42,600 --> 00:17:44,364 Look what you got me doing. - [laughing] 523 00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:47,723 - Oh, that's gonna bruise. - Tez, stop it! Stop it! 524 00:17:47,840 --> 00:17:51,845 - [laughing] - I wish I was dead! 525 00:17:51,960 --> 00:17:54,440 Give that-oh! Oh! - Karl, you know- 526 00:17:54,560 --> 00:17:57,245 - Karl! Wait! Tez, I'm the cheater. 527 00:17:57,360 --> 00:17:58,600 - What? [groans] 528 00:17:58,760 --> 00:18:00,967 - Oh, okay. - [laughs] 529 00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:02,844 Oh, Jesus. This is a dildo. 530 00:18:02,960 --> 00:18:05,770 That's a dildo, guys. Oh, gross, man. 531 00:18:05,880 --> 00:18:07,882 [beatboxing] 532 00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:16,888 - That's right. I'm the guy. 533 00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:19,401 - Oh, man, that was a rush. That was great. 534 00:18:19,520 --> 00:18:20,851 I don't need to go to the concert anymore. 535 00:18:20,960 --> 00:18:22,530 Dude, that was a sick mosh. 536 00:18:22,640 --> 00:18:23,971 - Mm-hmm. - That was awesome. 537 00:18:24,120 --> 00:18:25,167 - Okay, okay. - Man, it was awesome, bro. 538 00:18:25,280 --> 00:18:27,089 Yeah. - Thanks, Karl. 539 00:18:27,200 --> 00:18:29,168 - Right on. See you guys. Hey, Mike, let's go. 540 00:18:29,280 --> 00:18:31,567 - Somebody better tell me what the hell is going on 541 00:18:31,680 --> 00:18:33,409 'fore I whoop y'all with this two-headed dilly. 542 00:18:33,520 --> 00:18:36,364 - Look, Tez, I had no idea that Colleen was your wife 543 00:18:36,480 --> 00:18:39,370 when she gave me that standing H.J. in that store, okay? 544 00:18:39,480 --> 00:18:40,686 - Hand job? - Yes. 545 00:18:40,800 --> 00:18:42,006 - Over the pants? - Oh, yeah. 546 00:18:42,120 --> 00:18:43,406 - Standing? - Mm-hmm. 547 00:18:43,520 --> 00:18:44,931 - I mean, that's all right with us. 548 00:18:45,040 --> 00:18:47,281 All: What? - That's okay with you guys? 549 00:18:47,400 --> 00:18:48,890 - For our ninth anniversary, I told her she can give 550 00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:51,162 as many hand jobs over the pants as she wanted. 551 00:18:51,280 --> 00:18:52,850 - Oh, my God. 552 00:18:52,960 --> 00:18:55,201 You're the perfect wife. - Yeah. 553 00:18:55,360 --> 00:18:56,964 - Why, what do you- What do you get? 554 00:18:57,080 --> 00:18:58,366 - Over-the-blouse titty nibbling in pub. 555 00:18:58,480 --> 00:19:00,005 - Titty nibbling? 556 00:19:00,120 --> 00:19:02,521 I would love to titty nibble in p-okay. Yup, yup. 557 00:19:02,640 --> 00:19:04,130 I applaud your relationship. 558 00:19:04,240 --> 00:19:05,571 I want to get married. That sounds awesome. 559 00:19:05,680 --> 00:19:06,841 - I don't know about all of that. 560 00:19:06,960 --> 00:19:08,530 I have a bone to pick with you, woman. 561 00:19:08,640 --> 00:19:09,721 I want to know, where you been sneaking off to 562 00:19:09,840 --> 00:19:11,001 in the middle of the night? 563 00:19:11,120 --> 00:19:12,565 Why are you telling people 564 00:19:12,680 --> 00:19:14,125 you worried about getting coochie mold? 565 00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:15,924 - Monty, no, I don't have coochie mold. 566 00:19:16,040 --> 00:19:19,806 I was getting a mold made of my coochie...for you. 567 00:19:19,920 --> 00:19:23,049 - What? 568 00:19:23,160 --> 00:19:24,650 - I'm-l don't know. - What? 569 00:19:24,760 --> 00:19:27,570 - Ah! all: Whoa. 570 00:19:27,680 --> 00:19:28,920 - [laughs] - Yes, oh, my God. 571 00:19:29,040 --> 00:19:31,122 - Surprise. - Look at that. 572 00:19:31,240 --> 00:19:32,571 - That is beautiful. That is beautiful. 573 00:19:32,680 --> 00:19:34,125 - Hey, it's our tenth anniversary, 574 00:19:34,240 --> 00:19:35,924 and I wanted it to be perfect for you, you know. 575 00:19:36,040 --> 00:19:38,441 When this baby comes, I'm gonna be sliced open 576 00:19:38,560 --> 00:19:40,881 like a sea bass, and I want you happy. 577 00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:42,684 - That's true. Babies ruin vaginae. 578 00:19:42,800 --> 00:19:45,610 - Baby, this is the sexist, freakiest, most beautiful gift 579 00:19:45,720 --> 00:19:47,722 you have ever gotten me, but you know what? 580 00:19:47,840 --> 00:19:49,285 We need to quit this perverted arms race 581 00:19:49,400 --> 00:19:50,731 before somebody gets hurt. 582 00:19:50,840 --> 00:19:52,729 - Oh, are you sure? - Yeah. 583 00:19:52,840 --> 00:19:55,446 Baby, I don't want to have sex with this coochie mold. 584 00:19:55,560 --> 00:19:57,324 I want to have sex with your real coochie 585 00:19:57,440 --> 00:19:59,124 for the rest of my life. 586 00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:01,846 - Aw. - You know what? Here. 587 00:20:01,960 --> 00:20:03,325 I'm "bequeefing" this to you. 588 00:20:03,440 --> 00:20:04,680 - You're queefing this to me? 589 00:20:04,800 --> 00:20:06,245 - Oh, cool. - Use it well. 590 00:20:06,360 --> 00:20:08,931 Mm, girl, come here. You about to get tore up. 591 00:20:09,040 --> 00:20:10,644 - Montez, you're not a total piece of shit, man. 592 00:20:10,760 --> 00:20:12,250 You're the man! - I got the baby oil. 593 00:20:12,360 --> 00:20:14,044 Go on in there with your fine ass, girl. 594 00:20:14,160 --> 00:20:16,640 - You're my hero, thank you. This is such a cool thing. 595 00:20:16,760 --> 00:20:18,330 - Hey, hey! - We were gonna go. 596 00:20:18,440 --> 00:20:20,283 - [whispering] Close the door. 597 00:20:20,400 --> 00:20:23,370 - Can we borrow the R- You said we could- 598 00:20:23,480 --> 00:20:24,970 - We're supposed to borrow it to go to the Xzibit concert? 599 00:20:25,080 --> 00:20:26,809 - Just hurry up. - Do you remember? 600 00:20:26,920 --> 00:20:28,081 - All right, we'll just wait. We'll wait a little bit. 601 00:20:28,200 --> 00:20:32,046 [Montez and Colleen moaning] 602 00:20:32,160 --> 00:20:34,288 - Well, it's been, like, an hour. 603 00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:36,243 Should we go get a snack or something? 604 00:20:36,360 --> 00:20:38,044 - Yeah, it's hot, man. I could go for a drink. 605 00:20:38,160 --> 00:20:40,083 [splashing] - [moaning] 606 00:20:40,200 --> 00:20:43,170 - Whoa! - Yes. Anything but a Squirt. 607 00:20:43,280 --> 00:20:45,169 - Nice. 608 00:20:45,280 --> 00:20:47,248 [dog snorting] [party horn blows] 609 00:20:50,400 --> 00:20:52,846 - You hit Tre Cool in the head with a rock? 610 00:20:52,960 --> 00:20:54,121 That wasn't very cool, was it? 611 00:20:54,240 --> 00:20:56,322 The lead singer of Stone Temple Pilots 612 00:20:56,480 --> 00:20:58,005 took his shoe off and said he would fuck you with it. 613 00:20:58,120 --> 00:20:59,326 - Yep. - 'Cause you threw it at him. 614 00:20:59,440 --> 00:21:01,488 You punched a man in the face 615 00:21:01,600 --> 00:21:03,807 at Cirque du Soleil's Zumanity. 616 00:21:03,920 --> 00:21:05,410 - That wasn't even a concert!