1 00:00:01,320 --> 00:00:04,403 - I have a great aunt who lived to be, like, 129. 2 00:00:04,520 --> 00:00:06,761 - Oh, cool, that's physically impossible, so nuts. 3 00:00:06,880 --> 00:00:09,486 - No, Derch, physics have nothing to do with it. 4 00:00:09,600 --> 00:00:12,888 She was a human hero. - Well, how'd she die? 5 00:00:13,000 --> 00:00:14,126 - Gunfire- cops shot her. 6 00:00:14,280 --> 00:00:15,406 - Oh. - What? 7 00:00:15,520 --> 00:00:17,010 - Yeah. 8 00:00:17,160 --> 00:00:19,128 Whoa, what the fug? - You have 20 minutes 9 00:00:19,240 --> 00:00:20,366 to clean this up. 10 00:00:20,480 --> 00:00:23,484 - What? We didn't do this. 11 00:00:23,600 --> 00:00:26,570 What are these, capes? - All right, who was it? 12 00:00:26,680 --> 00:00:28,682 - Your mama. [laughter] 13 00:00:28,840 --> 00:00:32,242 - Waymond, you're being uncharacteristically quiet. 14 00:00:32,360 --> 00:00:34,522 Did you do this to us? Is this your doing? 15 00:00:34,680 --> 00:00:38,082 'Cause if you did, we're gonna come back at you... 16 00:00:38,200 --> 00:00:39,884 so hard. 17 00:00:40,000 --> 00:00:42,571 - That's right, 'cause anybody who comes at us... 18 00:00:42,680 --> 00:00:45,251 know that we come back at you twice as hard. 19 00:00:45,360 --> 00:00:46,850 - Preach. - That's right. 20 00:00:46,960 --> 00:00:49,042 You want us to come hard? You got us to come hard! 21 00:00:49,160 --> 00:00:50,730 - So, seriously, guys- - I come hard in my sleep! 22 00:00:50,840 --> 00:00:51,966 - All right, all right. Waymond- 23 00:00:52,080 --> 00:00:53,650 - I will come on you! 24 00:00:53,760 --> 00:00:55,364 - Here's the deal. Waymond, you gotta fess up, 25 00:00:55,480 --> 00:00:58,484 unless you want three dudes on top of you coming hard. 26 00:00:58,600 --> 00:01:01,285 In three, two- - Bazinga! 27 00:01:01,400 --> 00:01:03,846 [laughter, cheering] 28 00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:07,721 - You guys do this? - B-rad is back, baby, yes! 29 00:01:07,880 --> 00:01:11,407 Oh, he's coming up top. - Yeah, get him out of here. 30 00:01:11,520 --> 00:01:14,251 [beatboxing] 31 00:01:14,360 --> 00:01:15,486 $5' 32 00:01:15,600 --> 00:01:18,080 - ♪ I'm fresh ♪ 33 00:01:18,200 --> 00:01:20,168 - ♪ You gotta, you gotta, you gotta ♪ 34 00:01:20,280 --> 00:01:23,409 - ♪ You gotta be fresh ♪ 35 00:01:23,640 --> 00:01:25,210 - There we go. There we go. 36 00:01:25,320 --> 00:01:27,641 Yeah. - Oh, we're giving birth. 37 00:01:27,760 --> 00:01:28,921 Giving birth to a B-rad. There he is. 38 00:01:29,040 --> 00:01:30,201 - All right, man! - There he is. 39 00:01:30,360 --> 00:01:31,521 - Yeah, buddy, dust him off. 40 00:01:31,640 --> 00:01:33,449 - B-rad, it's good to see you, man. 41 00:01:33,560 --> 00:01:35,289 You're looking pretty fit. - Looking good, dude. 42 00:01:35,400 --> 00:01:36,765 - What are you doing in town? 43 00:01:36,880 --> 00:01:38,928 - Also, why'd you come at me so hard, bro? 44 00:01:39,040 --> 00:01:42,089 You came at us so hard with all these popcorn...s. 45 00:01:42,200 --> 00:01:44,646 - It was a joke, you bitch! 46 00:01:44,760 --> 00:01:47,764 - Whoa. Shots fired. - I'm in town 47 00:01:47,920 --> 00:01:50,127 to do a ride-along with the police, 48 00:01:50,240 --> 00:01:51,366 'cause I'm writing a cop novel. 49 00:01:51,480 --> 00:01:52,606 - Cool. - Wow. 50 00:01:52,720 --> 00:01:54,563 - Gritty stuff. - I bet, dude. 51 00:01:54,680 --> 00:01:57,968 - But Alice wanted me to stop by for the roast. 52 00:01:58,080 --> 00:01:59,206 - Roast? What roast? - Yeah. 53 00:01:59,320 --> 00:02:00,651 - Oh, Monday is Bill's 54 00:02:00,760 --> 00:02:02,410 20th anniversary of working at TelAmeriCorp, 55 00:02:02,520 --> 00:02:04,010 so we're roasting him. 56 00:02:04,120 --> 00:02:05,963 - Cool. Yeah. - Oh, nice. 57 00:02:06,080 --> 00:02:08,208 - All right, so, like, how many snaps should we write? 58 00:02:08,320 --> 00:02:09,970 - Yeah, can we work blue? Can we cuss? 59 00:02:10,080 --> 00:02:11,206 - And also, who's Bill? 60 00:02:11,360 --> 00:02:12,805 - Oh, actually, Alice said 61 00:02:12,920 --> 00:02:14,490 you guys don't get to do the roast. 62 00:02:14,600 --> 00:02:16,090 - Really? - Uh, why wouldn't 63 00:02:16,240 --> 00:02:18,129 the three funniest guys in the office be roasting him? 64 00:02:18,280 --> 00:02:19,884 - You're not funny. 65 00:02:20,000 --> 00:02:21,161 [all scoff] 66 00:02:21,280 --> 00:02:23,521 - I'm not funny? Me? 67 00:02:23,640 --> 00:02:27,531 Adam, "the-the laugh ki- the laugh-uh... 68 00:02:27,640 --> 00:02:29,130 giver” DeMamp. 69 00:02:29,240 --> 00:02:30,685 - Mm-hmm. 70 00:02:30,800 --> 00:02:34,122 - I know all 101 sickjokes for twisted kids. 71 00:02:34,240 --> 00:02:36,322 - Oh, Alice, you want to know the difference 72 00:02:36,440 --> 00:02:38,442 between a pile of dead babies and a pile of sand? 73 00:02:38,560 --> 00:02:40,289 - I don't eat sand. 74 00:02:40,400 --> 00:02:41,731 [laughter] 75 00:02:41,840 --> 00:02:43,729 - [scoffs] Fine. Whatever. 76 00:02:43,840 --> 00:02:45,001 - You'll let us roast? - Yes. 77 00:02:45,120 --> 00:02:46,804 [cheering] - Yes! Nice. 78 00:02:46,920 --> 00:02:49,924 - Yes. - So cool. I got this thing... 79 00:02:50,040 --> 00:02:53,408 - Hey, you honestly don't think I'm funny? 80 00:02:53,520 --> 00:02:55,648 Just me, not talking about those guys. 81 00:02:55,760 --> 00:02:59,401 - You've honestly never said one thing I have ever found 82 00:02:59,520 --> 00:03:01,568 at all funny, bro. 83 00:03:01,680 --> 00:03:05,321 - [scoffs] What do you know about funny? 84 00:03:05,440 --> 00:03:07,124 Chicks aren't funny. Dudes are funny. 85 00:03:07,240 --> 00:03:11,245 Hangover 2 rules. Bridesmaids drools. 86 00:03:11,360 --> 00:03:12,725 - I don't care what anybody says. 87 00:03:12,880 --> 00:03:14,370 We're the funniest people in this office. 88 00:03:14,480 --> 00:03:16,801 - Funnier than that dad. - I'm funnier than she is. 89 00:03:16,920 --> 00:03:18,604 - Got a subscription to "Suicide Illustrated! " 90 00:03:18,760 --> 00:03:21,411 [laughter] Wait-look, y'all. 91 00:03:21,520 --> 00:03:23,727 Now Bill is trying to get a snack? 92 00:03:23,840 --> 00:03:27,003 Bill! You know you gonna end up eating what you always eat- 93 00:03:27,120 --> 00:03:28,770 them big-ass boogers in your nose! 94 00:03:28,880 --> 00:03:33,044 [laughter] 95 00:03:33,160 --> 00:03:35,401 - Hey, you know, I see what you're doing, Bill. 96 00:03:35,520 --> 00:03:38,444 He's trying to make jokes about you, but it's, uh- 97 00:03:38,560 --> 00:03:40,050 it's "snot" funny. 98 00:03:40,160 --> 00:03:42,049 [three guys laughing] 99 00:03:42,200 --> 00:03:45,044 It-it is- it's snot funny. 100 00:03:45,200 --> 00:03:46,486 - Snot. - I said "snot," 101 00:03:46,600 --> 00:03:48,489 because the boogers... with the snot. 102 00:03:48,600 --> 00:03:50,887 - Hey, uh... - What the- 103 00:03:51,040 --> 00:03:53,850 - Bill's so bald, right? He looks like he, uh- 104 00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:56,082 like he's a cancer patient! 105 00:03:56,200 --> 00:03:57,611 - [laughing] 106 00:03:57,720 --> 00:04:00,803 Death bed! 107 00:04:00,920 --> 00:04:03,605 - This dude, um, he's a human... 108 00:04:03,760 --> 00:04:05,171 [imitates farting] 109 00:04:05,280 --> 00:04:08,602 - [imitates farting] [laughs] 110 00:04:08,720 --> 00:04:10,324 - [chuckles] 111 00:04:10,440 --> 00:04:12,044 - [imitates farting] 112 00:04:12,160 --> 00:04:14,162 - One time, I seen that motherfucker 113 00:04:14,280 --> 00:04:15,441 dookie in his drawers! 114 00:04:15,560 --> 00:04:19,087 [laughter] 115 00:04:19,200 --> 00:04:21,168 - Dookie! Dookie! 116 00:04:21,320 --> 00:04:22,845 ♪ Dookie in your drawers, Bill ♪ 117 00:04:22,960 --> 00:04:26,567 ♪ Bookie in your draw- 3' 118 00:04:26,680 --> 00:04:28,170 - You know, maybe Montez is right. 119 00:04:28,280 --> 00:04:30,203 Maybe I'm not an hysterical dude. 120 00:04:30,320 --> 00:04:31,446 - Hew - I won't listen to it. 121 00:04:31,560 --> 00:04:33,005 - You are funny, okay? 122 00:04:33,120 --> 00:04:34,565 No one has given me more laughs in this world 123 00:04:34,680 --> 00:04:35,806 than this guy. - Yeah. 124 00:04:35,960 --> 00:04:37,769 - Adam "the laugh giver” DeMamp. 125 00:04:37,920 --> 00:04:39,331 - [chuckles] - Yep 126 00:04:39,440 --> 00:04:41,522 - Thank you. - I mean, sure, Montez has 127 00:04:41,640 --> 00:04:43,290 broad appeal, right? - Sure. 128 00:04:43,400 --> 00:04:45,209 - We'll give him that. But I'm sorry... 129 00:04:45,320 --> 00:04:48,449 I have a more refined, dry, British sense of humor, 130 00:04:48,600 --> 00:04:51,126 a la the funniest movie of all time, Austin Powers. 131 00:04:51,240 --> 00:04:52,366 - [imitates buzzer] 132 00:04:52,520 --> 00:04:53,681 - No. - Oh, please! 133 00:04:53,800 --> 00:04:55,165 Funniest movie of all time, 134 00:04:55,280 --> 00:04:57,442 no questions, Wayne's World one. 135 00:04:57,560 --> 00:04:58,800 - [scoffs, laughs] 136 00:04:58,920 --> 00:05:01,571 - [imitates buzzer] No, sir. 137 00:05:01,680 --> 00:05:03,409 You guys like the big blockbusters. 138 00:05:03,520 --> 00:05:05,090 That's cool. That's fine. Me, personally- 139 00:05:05,240 --> 00:05:06,526 indie comedy. 140 00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:08,244 - [groans] - That's what I'm into. 141 00:05:08,360 --> 00:05:10,647 I'm talking about Indian comedy. 142 00:05:10,760 --> 00:05:13,331 Very, very, very hot right now. 143 00:05:13,440 --> 00:05:15,124 Love Guru? That's the future of comedy. 144 00:05:15,240 --> 00:05:17,129 - You guys are out of your minds. 145 00:05:17,240 --> 00:05:18,890 - Not listening. - It's Wayne's World- 146 00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:21,048 - I hope I'm not interrupting a circle jerk. 147 00:05:21,160 --> 00:05:22,605 - No, we were just- - We're not circle-jerking. 148 00:05:22,720 --> 00:05:24,165 Although this would be the room to do it in. 149 00:05:24,280 --> 00:05:26,601 - Where the weed at? Bring it, baby. Bring it. 150 00:05:26,760 --> 00:05:28,330 - He's back. - Party beast. 151 00:05:28,440 --> 00:05:30,249 - What are you dick gymnasts squawking about, anyway? 152 00:05:30,360 --> 00:05:31,725 - Oh, man, I don't know. 153 00:05:31,840 --> 00:05:33,205 We just want to be the stars of the roast, 154 00:05:33,320 --> 00:05:35,891 but that Montez guy, he has so many snaps. 155 00:05:36,000 --> 00:05:37,729 - Yeah. 156 00:05:37,840 --> 00:05:38,966 - 'Tez is a cartoon character. - Mm-hmm. 157 00:05:39,080 --> 00:05:40,206 - I don't find him funny. 158 00:05:40,360 --> 00:05:41,805 - Yeah, I mean, t-these people- 159 00:05:41,920 --> 00:05:44,048 they're not gonna understand my party tricks. 160 00:05:44,160 --> 00:05:45,810 I've got party tricks. I have this one where I eat 161 00:05:45,920 --> 00:05:49,527 60 ketchup packets, and then I don't vomit. 162 00:05:49,640 --> 00:05:51,802 - I will tell you the secret to a good roast. 163 00:05:51,920 --> 00:05:54,924 Know your target, inside and out, 164 00:05:55,080 --> 00:05:57,321 and then hit 'em where it hurts! - Whoa. 165 00:05:57,440 --> 00:05:59,044 I thought he was gonna hit me. - He's right. 166 00:05:59,160 --> 00:06:01,401 Montez knows Bill way better than we do. 167 00:06:01,520 --> 00:06:04,205 - Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, but he knows work Bill. 168 00:06:04,320 --> 00:06:07,449 He doesn't know the real Bill- weekend Bill. 169 00:06:07,560 --> 00:06:08,721 We gotta get to know weekend Bill. 170 00:06:08,840 --> 00:06:10,205 - Weekend Bill. 171 00:06:10,320 --> 00:06:11,924 - We've gotta get to know weekend Bill. 172 00:06:12,040 --> 00:06:13,690 - Wait, who's Bill, again? 173 00:06:13,800 --> 00:06:15,086 [beatboxing] - ♪ You gotta ♪ 174 00:06:15,200 --> 00:06:16,406 - ♪ You gotta be fresh ♪ 175 00:06:18,360 --> 00:06:21,523 [beatboxing] 176 00:06:21,640 --> 00:06:23,324 - The reason Wayne's World works 177 00:06:23,440 --> 00:06:25,568 is because it takes place in the real world. 178 00:06:25,680 --> 00:06:26,920 - I touched that. - It's about real dudes. 179 00:06:27,040 --> 00:06:28,371 - Comedy is not about jokes. 180 00:06:28,480 --> 00:06:29,811 - Did you guys see how I just touched that? 181 00:06:29,920 --> 00:06:31,410 - Ooh, yeah, Mini-Me, real good. Midget comedy. 182 00:06:31,520 --> 00:06:33,170 - It's about shedding light on what's true. 183 00:06:33,280 --> 00:06:34,566 And Austin Powers does that. - Here, shh! Here it is. 184 00:06:34,680 --> 00:06:35,806 - Come on. - Number eight. 185 00:06:35,920 --> 00:06:38,810 [relaxing music] 186 00:06:38,960 --> 00:06:43,727 $5' 187 00:06:43,880 --> 00:06:46,486 - Holy yoga, dude! He's a yoga dude. 188 00:06:46,600 --> 00:06:48,807 - Oh, we can destroy him. No one likes yoga dudes. 189 00:06:48,920 --> 00:06:50,684 ♪ Guru! ♪ 190 00:06:50,800 --> 00:06:53,201 - Dude, it funny because, like, girls do yoga, and he's a guy, 191 00:06:53,320 --> 00:06:55,482 and he's doing yoga. - Yeah, that is why it's funny. 192 00:06:55,640 --> 00:06:56,766 - Right? - Yeah, we're really finding, 193 00:06:56,880 --> 00:06:58,689 you know, the depth of the comedy. 194 00:06:58,800 --> 00:07:01,087 We're really digging deep. - Right. What's he doing... 195 00:07:01,200 --> 00:07:03,123 now, though? 196 00:07:03,240 --> 00:07:04,969 - Oh, my God. - Naked yoga. 197 00:07:05,080 --> 00:07:07,321 - [chuckles] - What? 198 00:07:07,440 --> 00:07:10,808 - Oh, my God, he's a "naked yoga" guy. 199 00:07:10,920 --> 00:07:13,730 Wait, is he- - God, he's sucking it. 200 00:07:13,840 --> 00:07:16,844 - Yes! We're gonna skewer him with this! 201 00:07:16,960 --> 00:07:18,485 - Ugh. 202 00:07:18,600 --> 00:07:20,523 - You really think we can make fun of him for this? 203 00:07:20,640 --> 00:07:23,007 - Yeah. - Yeah. 204 00:07:23,120 --> 00:07:25,248 - What are you talking about? This is amazing. 205 00:07:25,360 --> 00:07:27,806 He's like a superhero. We can't reveal his superpowers. 206 00:07:27,920 --> 00:07:31,242 - I'm sorry. Does this not come across to you as just 207 00:07:31,360 --> 00:07:33,089 the gayest thing you've ever seen? 208 00:07:33,200 --> 00:07:35,726 - I think it's gay not to sip your own tip. 209 00:07:35,840 --> 00:07:37,365 That means you don't like blowjobs that much, 210 00:07:37,480 --> 00:07:39,244 and that's, like, the gayest thing in the world. 211 00:07:39,360 --> 00:07:40,600 - Right. 212 00:07:40,720 --> 00:07:42,961 - Uh, guys, I think he's about to- 213 00:07:43,080 --> 00:07:46,084 - Okay, let's take a lap. Let's take a lap. 214 00:07:52,280 --> 00:07:53,930 - What's he doing? 215 00:07:54,040 --> 00:07:56,168 - I know exactly what that is. 216 00:07:56,280 --> 00:08:00,524 It's medical cream for eczema, without a doubt. 217 00:08:00,640 --> 00:08:04,884 [kazoo humming] 218 00:08:07,680 --> 00:08:09,682 Okay, so he's a street performer with eczema. 219 00:08:09,840 --> 00:08:13,003 This is...sad. - This is great! 220 00:08:13,120 --> 00:08:15,248 We have so much good stuff for the roast. 221 00:08:15,360 --> 00:08:18,409 - What? What's funny about unlimited self-blowjobs 222 00:08:18,560 --> 00:08:20,085 and getting paid to do the robot? 223 00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:22,282 - Thank you. - Nothing. 224 00:08:22,400 --> 00:08:23,811 I'm jealous of this dude. 225 00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:25,206 We're coming up dry. 226 00:08:25,320 --> 00:08:27,049 We can't make fun of him for this. 227 00:08:27,160 --> 00:08:30,562 [kazoo humming] 228 00:08:30,680 --> 00:08:32,091 - I'm not doing this again, dude. 229 00:08:32,240 --> 00:08:33,730 Just tell me what you want. 230 00:08:33,840 --> 00:08:35,285 [kazoo humming] 231 00:08:35,400 --> 00:08:39,405 Jesus Christ! Okay, fine, ham? 232 00:08:39,520 --> 00:08:40,760 Is that what you want? 233 00:08:40,880 --> 00:08:43,167 - Oh, no, this is just depressing. 234 00:08:43,280 --> 00:08:45,760 - [whispering] Yeah, I'm sad too. 235 00:08:45,920 --> 00:08:48,127 Mostly hungry, actually. 236 00:08:48,240 --> 00:08:49,730 - [whispering] Yeah. Ders, go order a pizza. 237 00:08:49,880 --> 00:08:51,370 - [whispering] They don't serve pizza here. 238 00:08:51,480 --> 00:08:52,925 It's a sandwich place. 239 00:08:53,040 --> 00:08:55,202 - Do you think they'll deliver pizza here, 240 00:08:55,320 --> 00:08:57,084 like, if we ordered from a pizza place? 241 00:08:57,200 --> 00:09:00,647 - Do you have a punch card? [kazoo humming] 242 00:09:00,760 --> 00:09:01,886 You punched this yourself, didn't you? 243 00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:03,570 [kazoo hums] 244 00:09:03,680 --> 00:09:05,762 - All right, you know what? Get out. We're done. 245 00:09:05,880 --> 00:09:07,450 Beat it. [kazoo hums] 246 00:09:07,560 --> 00:09:09,289 Don't take that sandwich! I will call the cops! 247 00:09:09,440 --> 00:09:11,169 - Hey, hang on a second, hang on a second. 248 00:09:11,320 --> 00:09:13,766 I'll pay for his food. Look, he's... 249 00:09:13,880 --> 00:09:17,327 he's my dad, so I'm very embarrassed. 250 00:09:17,440 --> 00:09:20,410 I'm sure your dad's embarrassed you from time to time. 251 00:09:20,520 --> 00:09:23,569 - No, he hasn't. He's-he has great judgment. 252 00:09:23,680 --> 00:09:25,489 He would never do something like this. 253 00:09:25,600 --> 00:09:28,888 - You've been following me all day? 254 00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:31,446 - Eh, since, like, 9:00 A.M. 255 00:09:31,560 --> 00:09:32,925 - So you saw me...? 256 00:09:33,040 --> 00:09:34,963 - Mm-hmm. - Yes. 257 00:09:35,080 --> 00:09:36,491 You've gotta teach me how to do that. 258 00:09:36,600 --> 00:09:38,841 - Believe me, you don't wanna go down that road. 259 00:09:38,960 --> 00:09:40,086 - It's the only road I want to go down. 260 00:09:40,200 --> 00:09:41,804 - Anyway. look. 261 00:09:41,920 --> 00:09:43,126 We're just looking for dirt on you 262 00:09:43,240 --> 00:09:44,526 so we can beat Montez at roasting. 263 00:09:44,640 --> 00:09:45,766 - I hate this stupid roast. 264 00:09:45,880 --> 00:09:47,370 I already know I'm a loser. 265 00:09:47,520 --> 00:09:49,170 I don't need the whole office telling me so. 266 00:09:49,280 --> 00:09:51,965 - You got a bunch of- - Montez is ruthless. 267 00:09:52,080 --> 00:09:53,730 I don't even want to go. - Whoa, whoa, okay. 268 00:09:53,840 --> 00:09:56,366 That means we don't get to roast. 269 00:09:56,480 --> 00:09:58,084 Bill, what you're forgetting here is that... 270 00:09:58,240 --> 00:09:59,401 you're the guest of honor, right? 271 00:09:59,520 --> 00:10:01,204 - Yeah. - So you get the last word. 272 00:10:01,320 --> 00:10:03,243 We can take Monte: down together. 273 00:10:03,360 --> 00:10:04,486 - Yep- 274 00:10:04,600 --> 00:10:07,570 - What about that dickhead Jet Set? 275 00:10:07,680 --> 00:10:10,490 - You teach me how to... 276 00:10:10,600 --> 00:10:12,045 [gagging] 277 00:10:12,160 --> 00:10:15,403 Myself, and we've got a deal. 278 00:10:15,520 --> 00:10:17,249 - Well, you gotta be big. 279 00:10:17,360 --> 00:10:18,486 - Really? - Mm-hmm. 280 00:10:18,600 --> 00:10:19,761 _ Holy moly. 281 00:10:19,880 --> 00:10:22,929 - ♪ O'er the land-uh ♪ 282 00:10:23,040 --> 00:10:26,123 ♪ Of the free-uh ♪ 283 00:10:26,240 --> 00:10:30,882 ♪ And that home of Bill's gay-uh ♪ 284 00:10:31,000 --> 00:10:35,403 [cheers and applause] 285 00:10:35,520 --> 00:10:39,684 And I'm out. Have fun roasting this bald pig. 286 00:10:39,800 --> 00:10:41,325 - Great job, Bradley! 287 00:10:41,440 --> 00:10:43,727 - Who's Bradley? I'm Tony Clifton, you asshole. 288 00:10:43,840 --> 00:10:46,127 Wake up! All: Oh! 289 00:10:46,240 --> 00:10:49,244 - Bill treat his nose like the hometown Buffet! 290 00:10:49,360 --> 00:10:50,646 - What's the worst job in the world? 291 00:10:50,760 --> 00:10:52,125 Being Bill's pants, 'cause you know 292 00:10:52,240 --> 00:10:53,730 you're gonna get dookied on! [laughter] 293 00:10:53,880 --> 00:10:56,167 - He has a booger pasta bar, a booger dessert bar, 294 00:10:56,280 --> 00:10:57,884 a booger cutting station... 295 00:10:58,000 --> 00:11:01,766 - Yes, Bill, you look like a goddamn child molester. 296 00:11:01,880 --> 00:11:04,724 - Bill be picking his boogers like he Orville Redenbacher. 297 00:11:04,840 --> 00:11:06,729 Pop, pop, pop, pop. POP. POP! [laughter] 298 00:11:06,840 --> 00:11:08,763 - I got three words for you, brother. 299 00:11:08,880 --> 00:11:12,521 Wash your stinkin' ass! 300 00:11:12,640 --> 00:11:14,768 [laughter] 301 00:11:14,880 --> 00:11:18,805 - Okay, our next roasters wanted to do it as a threesome. 302 00:11:18,920 --> 00:11:22,367 And they also wanted to perform together. 303 00:11:22,480 --> 00:11:24,164 All right, let's give it up for Adam, Anders, and Blake! 304 00:11:24,280 --> 00:11:26,521 Whoo! - Shagadelicl 305 00:11:26,640 --> 00:11:29,769 Do I make you randy, baby? 306 00:11:29,880 --> 00:11:31,689 - Shwing! [laughs] 307 00:11:31,800 --> 00:11:36,681 - Tickle, tickle, break the pickle. 308 00:11:36,840 --> 00:11:38,330 - Excellent. 309 00:11:38,440 --> 00:11:39,566 - [British accent] We were listening out there, 310 00:11:39,680 --> 00:11:41,284 you know, and you guys were 311 00:11:41,400 --> 00:11:43,641 roasting Bill pretty hard. 312 00:11:43,760 --> 00:11:45,171 And he's my mate, 313 00:11:45,280 --> 00:11:48,762 so I'm here to tell you to behave, baby, yeah! 314 00:11:48,880 --> 00:11:50,564 - All right. 315 00:11:50,680 --> 00:11:54,605 We're not worthy of such a great co-worker. 316 00:11:54,720 --> 00:11:57,929 We're not worthy! We're not worthy! 317 00:11:58,040 --> 00:11:59,804 [all boo] 318 00:11:59,920 --> 00:12:02,526 - I got it. 319 00:12:02,640 --> 00:12:07,441 [Indian accent] Mariska Hargitay. 320 00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:10,882 Mari-ska Hargitay! 321 00:12:11,040 --> 00:12:12,849 [crowd booing loudly] 322 00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:14,286 [siren wails] - Y'all stop! 323 00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:16,050 - Tickle, tickle, break the pickle. 324 00:12:16,160 --> 00:12:17,286 Did I already-l did this. 325 00:12:17,400 --> 00:12:18,561 Hey, come on. - Ow! 326 00:12:18,680 --> 00:12:20,125 That hurt my ankle. 327 00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:21,844 Have you guys really not seen Love Guru? 328 00:12:21,960 --> 00:12:24,327 - No one has. - It's a funny, funny movie. 329 00:12:24,440 --> 00:12:25,885 Mike Myers is in it. - Yeah, Wayne's World one. 330 00:12:26,000 --> 00:12:27,729 - It's, like, one of the biggest comedies 331 00:12:27,840 --> 00:12:28,966 of, like, the early mid-2000s. - All right, all right, look. 332 00:12:29,080 --> 00:12:30,320 We're sorry you don't like 333 00:12:30,440 --> 00:12:31,851 our characters, but we're funny guys. 334 00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:33,564 And we followed Bill this weekend. 335 00:12:33,680 --> 00:12:35,011 And guess what he does on the weekend? 336 00:12:35,120 --> 00:12:36,849 He paints himself silver like a robot 337 00:12:36,960 --> 00:12:39,531 and goes on the street and begs for money. 338 00:12:39,640 --> 00:12:40,766 [chuckling] And then-and then we also 339 00:12:40,880 --> 00:12:42,689 caught him stealing a sandwich, 340 00:12:42,800 --> 00:12:45,929 because he's that poor, guys. [laughter] 341 00:12:46,040 --> 00:12:47,804 - This isn't what we planned. What are you doing? 342 00:12:47,920 --> 00:12:50,002 - It's all true. It's all true. We followed him. 343 00:12:50,160 --> 00:12:51,685 And guess what we saw? 344 00:12:51,800 --> 00:12:54,326 We saw this broke-ass fool suck his own dick! 345 00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:56,329 - What? [laughter] 346 00:12:56,440 --> 00:12:58,522 - He's good at it. - That's hilarious. 347 00:12:58,640 --> 00:13:00,847 - Enough! 348 00:13:00,960 --> 00:13:03,042 You guys said you were on my side! 349 00:13:03,160 --> 00:13:04,969 - Sure, whatever, man. - They love it, man. 350 00:13:05,080 --> 00:13:07,162 - You're right. My life is a joke. 351 00:13:07,280 --> 00:13:08,770 But I have news for you! [gun cocks] 352 00:13:08,880 --> 00:13:11,087 All: Oh! 353 00:13:11,200 --> 00:13:13,521 This is where the joke ends! 354 00:13:13,640 --> 00:13:16,769 [beatboxing] 355 00:13:18,560 --> 00:13:23,088 [beatboxing] 356 00:13:23,200 --> 00:13:25,567 - Okay. All right. - Oh, God! Oh, God! 357 00:13:25,680 --> 00:13:26,841 - All right, everybody in the corner! 358 00:13:26,960 --> 00:13:28,644 Let's go! Let's go! 359 00:13:28,760 --> 00:13:30,171 Cell phones in here! 360 00:13:30,280 --> 00:13:32,362 I don't want anyone ruining my big day! 361 00:13:32,480 --> 00:13:33,686 - Hey, Bill, what are you doing? 362 00:13:33,800 --> 00:13:35,723 Okay, please, just put the gun down. 363 00:13:35,840 --> 00:13:37,126 - You heard the lady. Put it down. 364 00:13:37,240 --> 00:13:38,480 - Or what? 365 00:13:38,600 --> 00:13:40,887 - You're making a big mistake, man. 366 00:13:41,000 --> 00:13:42,889 - Don't do something you're gonna regret, man. 367 00:13:43,000 --> 00:13:45,606 - Something I regret? I regret my entire life! 368 00:13:45,760 --> 00:13:46,886 - What? 369 00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:48,331 A good-looking guy like yourself? 370 00:13:48,440 --> 00:13:49,771 No, no, no! Please don't kill me! 371 00:13:49,880 --> 00:13:51,166 I wish this was all a dream! 372 00:13:51,280 --> 00:13:53,362 Doodle-ooh, doodle-ooh, doodle-ooh. 373 00:13:53,520 --> 00:13:56,000 - Stop, stop, I got this. Look, okay... 374 00:13:56,120 --> 00:13:58,566 Bill, if anyone knows what it's like to be picked on, it's me. 375 00:13:58,680 --> 00:14:00,682 My father was a relentlessly self-improving 376 00:14:00,800 --> 00:14:03,201 boulangerie owner from Belgium with low-grade narcolepsy 377 00:14:03,360 --> 00:14:05,408 and a penchant for buggery. 378 00:14:05,520 --> 00:14:07,090 - Shut up and help me lock this place down, 379 00:14:07,240 --> 00:14:08,730 Mr. Powers. - Okay, all right. 380 00:14:08,840 --> 00:14:11,320 - His back's turned. Let's do this. 381 00:14:11,440 --> 00:14:13,568 - Do what? - Roll on him! 382 00:14:13,680 --> 00:14:15,682 Grab the gun and bring him to justice. 383 00:14:15,800 --> 00:14:19,168 Get my reward. 384 00:14:19,280 --> 00:14:22,443 - Don't- Oh, don't be stupid. 385 00:14:22,560 --> 00:14:26,929 - Too late. 386 00:14:27,040 --> 00:14:29,805 Welcome to Staples Center... bitch. 387 00:14:29,920 --> 00:14:31,046 Aah! 388 00:14:31,160 --> 00:14:34,801 [all shouting] 389 00:14:34,920 --> 00:14:36,729 - Shit! [gun cocks] 390 00:14:36,840 --> 00:14:39,161 - Oh, gosh! - Come with me! 391 00:14:39,280 --> 00:14:41,044 Now'.! 392 00:14:46,000 --> 00:14:47,923 - Good-bye... 393 00:14:48,040 --> 00:14:49,405 forever. 394 00:14:49,520 --> 00:14:53,889 - Adam. 395 00:14:54,000 --> 00:14:57,049 - Turn around! 396 00:15:00,040 --> 00:15:02,771 [both laughing] 397 00:15:02,920 --> 00:15:04,285 They bought it, right? - Oh, totally! 398 00:15:04,400 --> 00:15:05,970 Oh, I'm sorry I did the stapler thing. 399 00:15:06,080 --> 00:15:07,889 I just felt-l really felt like that was in the moment, 400 00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:09,081 you know? - No, no, that was good. 401 00:15:09,200 --> 00:15:10,247 It sold it. It was hilarious. 402 00:15:10,360 --> 00:15:11,850 - It did sell it, right? - Yeah! 403 00:15:11,960 --> 00:15:13,724 - I was feeling it! That was incredible. 404 00:15:13,840 --> 00:15:15,080 Ders and Blake did a good job too. 405 00:15:15,200 --> 00:15:16,326 Like, we can't forget about them. 406 00:15:16,440 --> 00:15:17,601 You did great! 407 00:15:17,720 --> 00:15:19,131 - Okay, so what's next? 408 00:15:19,240 --> 00:15:20,844 - All right, everybody just be calm. 409 00:15:20,960 --> 00:15:23,770 Adam's probably in there telling Bill to turn himself in. 410 00:15:23,880 --> 00:15:25,928 It's gonna be over soon. [gunshots] 411 00:15:26,040 --> 00:15:28,168 [all gasping] 412 00:15:31,560 --> 00:15:32,925 - Oh, my God! - Oh, God. 413 00:15:33,040 --> 00:15:34,849 - What have you done? 414 00:15:34,960 --> 00:15:36,371 - Anyone else wanna be a hero? 415 00:15:36,480 --> 00:15:40,246 - You need help, man. Bill, let us help you. 416 00:15:40,360 --> 00:15:42,601 - You want to help me? - Yes, Bill. 417 00:15:42,720 --> 00:15:44,449 - Maybe you should have thought of that 418 00:15:44,560 --> 00:15:46,722 before you said I ate my boogers! 419 00:15:46,880 --> 00:15:48,291 - Bill, I didn't mean it. I'm sorry. 420 00:15:48,400 --> 00:15:51,449 It was a roast. - Then show me you're sorry. 421 00:15:51,560 --> 00:15:56,122 I want you to pick every nose here and eat it, 422 00:15:56,240 --> 00:15:57,605 one by one! 423 00:15:57,720 --> 00:16:00,041 - What? Come on, Bill. 424 00:16:00,160 --> 00:16:02,162 - Dude, eat their boogers! 425 00:16:02,280 --> 00:16:04,123 He's not messing around. He just killed Adam. 426 00:16:04,240 --> 00:16:07,005 - Bill, sir, if Montez does what you say, 427 00:16:07,120 --> 00:16:08,565 will you let us all live? 428 00:16:08,680 --> 00:16:10,842 - He eats every booger, and I'll consider it. 429 00:16:10,960 --> 00:16:12,291 - Okay- 430 00:16:12,400 --> 00:16:13,526 - Why don't you start with Waymond? 431 00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:15,563 He looks a little stuffy. 432 00:16:15,680 --> 00:16:17,523 - Come on, Bill. Put the gun down, Bill. 433 00:16:17,640 --> 00:16:22,009 - Montez, save a life. Eat a booger. 434 00:16:22,120 --> 00:16:24,521 - I'm sorry, Waymond. 435 00:16:28,320 --> 00:16:31,324 I can't-ugh. 436 00:16:31,440 --> 00:16:34,284 - Oh. [chuckles] 437 00:16:34,400 --> 00:16:36,368 - Oh, God, he's eating it. 438 00:16:36,480 --> 00:16:40,087 [all groan] - Oh, I can't- 439 00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:42,680 - You know what would make this perfect? 440 00:16:42,800 --> 00:16:44,962 If Jet shits his pants... 441 00:16:45,080 --> 00:16:47,242 - Hell, no! - while you're digging for gold. 442 00:16:47,400 --> 00:16:49,846 Everybody wins! - Bill- 443 00:16:49,960 --> 00:16:51,325 - Bill, no! Don't make him do it. 444 00:16:51,440 --> 00:16:53,169 - Never question my authority, 445 00:16:53,320 --> 00:16:55,561 unless you want everyone to die. 446 00:16:55,680 --> 00:16:58,923 - Let me do it for him. I'll shit my pants right now! 447 00:16:59,080 --> 00:17:00,764 - Whoa, uh, no, J-Jillian- - You're okay. 448 00:17:00,880 --> 00:17:02,484 - Just let him handle his thing. Thank you, though. 449 00:17:02,600 --> 00:17:04,682 - No, I have it in me right now. - You're very brave. 450 00:17:04,800 --> 00:17:06,768 - Think about what you doing right now, Bill. 451 00:17:06,920 --> 00:17:08,285 Stop this. 452 00:17:08,400 --> 00:17:09,845 - I am thinking! Do it! 453 00:17:09,960 --> 00:17:13,851 - Oh, God. [operatic music] 454 00:17:13,960 --> 00:17:17,931 [all gagging] 455 00:17:18,040 --> 00:17:21,169 [all groaning] 456 00:17:21,280 --> 00:17:22,441 - I can't. I can't. I can't. 457 00:17:22,600 --> 00:17:25,444 [Blake laughing] 458 00:17:25,560 --> 00:17:28,325 - Eat it! 459 00:17:28,480 --> 00:17:31,165 [all groan] 460 00:17:31,320 --> 00:17:35,325 - I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. 461 00:17:35,440 --> 00:17:37,886 - [farts] 462 00:17:38,000 --> 00:17:39,331 [all reacting] 463 00:17:39,440 --> 00:17:43,809 - Okay, everyone, I have an announcement! 464 00:17:43,920 --> 00:17:46,810 This whole thing- - Bill, whoa, whoa, whoa, hey. 465 00:17:46,960 --> 00:17:48,450 Uh, before you make that announcement, 466 00:17:48,560 --> 00:17:51,370 you had something else you wanted to say, remember? 467 00:17:51,480 --> 00:17:53,608 You wanted Ders here 468 00:17:53,760 --> 00:17:56,366 to admit that Wayne's World is a better movie 469 00:17:56,480 --> 00:17:58,482 than Austin Powers, or he'll kill him! 470 00:17:58,600 --> 00:18:01,171 - I did? - Yes, you did. 471 00:18:01,280 --> 00:18:02,645 - Okay, sure, uh... 472 00:18:02,760 --> 00:18:03,966 say what Blake said, or I'll kill you! 473 00:18:04,080 --> 00:18:06,970 - Yeah. 474 00:18:07,080 --> 00:18:08,889 - Well, then I guess you're gonna have to kill me, 475 00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:12,368 because that's a goddamn lie, and I don't lie. 476 00:18:12,480 --> 00:18:15,165 I will admit that it blows Love Guru out of the water. 477 00:18:15,320 --> 00:18:16,526 Wayne's World is better than Love Guru. 478 00:18:16,640 --> 00:18:17,880 I'll say that. - Well, obviously. 479 00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:19,923 That's really not saying anything, okay? 480 00:18:20,040 --> 00:18:23,203 Because Wayne's World is better than Austin Powers 481 00:18:23,320 --> 00:18:24,606 and Love Guru combined. - Oh-ho! 482 00:18:24,720 --> 00:18:26,449 - It has the funniest lines! - You know what? 483 00:18:26,560 --> 00:18:28,722 I feel like I'm surrounded by freakin' idiots. 484 00:18:28,840 --> 00:18:30,330 - No way. Way! - Shh! Shh! 485 00:18:30,440 --> 00:18:31,885 - NO Wa y- W 486 00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:34,002 - Camera one, camera 'W0. Camera one, camera “NO. 487 00:18:34,120 --> 00:18:36,566 - Stop! Sto- - Praise Buddha. 488 00:18:36,680 --> 00:18:39,365 I am reincarnated. 489 00:18:39,480 --> 00:18:41,881 I am once again... 490 00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:45,447 the Love Guru! 491 00:18:45,600 --> 00:18:47,682 - What in the fuck? 492 00:18:47,800 --> 00:18:49,689 - I can't believe you would talk trash on another man's comedy 493 00:18:49,800 --> 00:18:53,441 when he's not even in the room- very Wayne move of you. 494 00:18:53,560 --> 00:18:55,210 Bill, shoot Wayne in the face. - I wouldn't even call your 495 00:18:55,360 --> 00:18:56,521 movie a comedy, really. 496 00:18:56,640 --> 00:18:58,085 - Justin Timberlake? - Oh, my God. 497 00:18:58,240 --> 00:18:59,810 - That man is a quadruple threat. 498 00:18:59,920 --> 00:19:01,490 - He's a singer. - He is so-so many threats. 499 00:19:01,600 --> 00:19:02,931 - He's not a comedic actor. He's a dancer. 500 00:19:03,040 --> 00:19:04,485 - I'm threatened by so many- 501 00:19:04,600 --> 00:19:07,251 - On the floor, now! - Oh, my God! Oh! 502 00:19:07,360 --> 00:19:08,850 - Oh, my God, I'm so sorry! 503 00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:10,843 It was a mistake! - It was a joke! It was a joke! 504 00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:13,128 [beatboxing] 505 00:19:14,840 --> 00:19:16,444 [beatboxing] 506 00:19:16,560 --> 00:19:18,369 - ♪ We're like ♪ - ♪ Fresh, fresh, fresh ♪ 507 00:19:18,480 --> 00:19:20,164 - Don't move! - No, no, no, no! 508 00:19:20,280 --> 00:19:22,442 This is all just a misunderstanding, all right? 509 00:19:22,560 --> 00:19:24,324 We were just trying to be funny, 510 00:19:24,440 --> 00:19:26,681 but I guess it just wasn't as funny as we thought it was. 511 00:19:26,800 --> 00:19:29,963 - That's right. It wasn't very funny at all. 512 00:19:30,080 --> 00:19:33,004 But this is. 513 00:19:33,120 --> 00:19:35,122 - It was a joke, you bitch! 514 00:19:35,240 --> 00:19:37,641 [laughter] - What the fug? 515 00:19:37,760 --> 00:19:40,525 - These guys are my S.W.A.T. homies from my ride-along. 516 00:19:40,640 --> 00:19:42,085 Thanks, guys. Worked like a charm. 517 00:19:42,240 --> 00:19:43,366 - Good luck on your book, B-rad. 518 00:19:43,480 --> 00:19:45,289 Sounds like some real gritty stuff. 519 00:19:45,400 --> 00:19:46,845 - I know. I'm writing it. 520 00:19:46,960 --> 00:19:49,167 - Yeah. [laughs, claps] - Wow. 521 00:19:49,280 --> 00:19:51,521 - What? - Bill called me last night 522 00:19:51,640 --> 00:19:53,165 to make sure your little "performance" 523 00:19:53,280 --> 00:19:55,681 didn't get him into any trouble. - I'm sorry. 524 00:19:55,840 --> 00:19:58,605 - You're such a loser. - Wow. Okay, Bill. 525 00:19:58,720 --> 00:20:00,404 - And you know what's weird is I seem to remember 526 00:20:00,520 --> 00:20:03,603 someone saying, "Chicks aren't funny." 527 00:20:03,760 --> 00:20:08,322 - God, I love you. - Hold up. Hold up. Hold up. 528 00:20:08,440 --> 00:20:11,364 None of this was funny at all. - Hmm, well. 529 00:20:11,520 --> 00:20:13,204 - Y'all had me eat Jet Set's boogers. 530 00:20:13,320 --> 00:20:15,482 Nobody said anything! 531 00:20:15,600 --> 00:20:17,921 And this poor bastard got dookie in his pants. 532 00:20:18,040 --> 00:20:21,169 - Oh! I don't mind, because this was a good roast. 533 00:20:21,320 --> 00:20:23,084 Congratulations, Bill. 534 00:20:23,240 --> 00:20:26,210 I gotta go home, get some of this mess off of me. 535 00:20:26,320 --> 00:20:28,766 - Ooh, good night, my dudes. 536 00:20:28,880 --> 00:20:30,211 - [British accent] Good night, baby. 537 00:20:30,320 --> 00:20:32,448 [door closes] - [sighs] 538 00:20:32,560 --> 00:20:37,566 ' [sighs] ' [sighs] 539 00:20:37,680 --> 00:20:41,321 Come to papa. [grunting] 540 00:20:41,440 --> 00:20:43,807 [choking] 541 00:20:43,920 --> 00:20:47,049 - Come on! 542 00:20:47,160 --> 00:20:50,607 [grunts loudly] 543 00:20:50,720 --> 00:20:55,123 - [grunting] 544 00:20:55,240 --> 00:20:58,403 Hunh-ow! My bacld 545 00:20:58,520 --> 00:21:00,409 - Nice! 546 00:21:00,520 --> 00:21:02,522 [dog grunting] [party horn blows] 547 00:21:05,800 --> 00:21:08,326 - But, man, I'm serious, man. 548 00:21:08,440 --> 00:21:10,169 All jokes aside, my teacher told me a long time ago, 549 00:21:10,280 --> 00:21:12,726 she said, "If you have a friend 550 00:21:12,840 --> 00:21:15,491 that needs some advice, give it to him." 551 00:21:15,600 --> 00:21:17,170 You got to clean some of that shit up off your ass, man. 552 00:21:17,280 --> 00:21:18,611 [laughter] 553 00:21:18,720 --> 00:21:20,563 You got to clean up some of that shit.